#Maybe then i wouldn't be suffering like this

[pomefioredove]

can I have uhhhhh, a sugar cookie, sugar order 5 , with frosting, sprinkles, and powdered sugar :D

(i hope i did this right, love ur writing <3)

ofc and thank you!!

order #5, sugar with frosting, sprinkles, powdered sugar

*ੈ✩��₊˚ runaway, runaway

summary: you take in a runaway, not knowing he's the son of the richest man in the land tropes: hurt/comfort, only one bed (kinda), coffee shop au characters: kalim additional info: romantic, gender neutral reader, reader is not yuu, pre-nrc so both reader and kalim are younger, had fun writing this :)

Heavy is the hand that holds the OPEN/CLOSED sign.

Stained are the sleeves that wear the apron, sore are the arms that grind the coffee, and so on.

Your family had fallen asleep hours ago, and you had only now finished cleaning the cabinets, sweeping up straw wrappers and stirring sticks, wiping the windows, and seeing to the stock.

When you promised your parents you would close the coffeehouse, you... well, weren't counting on this much work.

It's half-past twelve, and you think you could sleep for two years after this. There go your aspirations of being a business owner... but, at least nothing is broken. No trouble. Right?

You wander to the wide windows to close the curtains, one by one, shrouding the deserted coffeehouse in darkness. No one is out at this hour, and so you can take your time, admiring the night sky and all its sparkling stars through the-

ACK!

You startle, stumbling back into a low table and falling flat on your butt. Something moved out there- stray dog, it had to be- but it's right against the window, standing on two legs, palms pressed against the glass-

It's a boy! Not a child, but not yet grown, in a brown robe, hood pulled over his head.

You stand, bracing yourself with a broom. "We're closed,"

You were hoping he'd leave, though you were expecting him to shout profanities and pound against the glass.

Rather, he smiles. "Oh, hello! Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you. I just smelled something delicious, and I had to see what it was!"

You blink. This isn't a rough neighborhood, but you weren't expecting a polite chat with a boy in rags at midnight.

"What's your name?" he asks, smiling as if he'd just made a friend.

You tell him, and he laughs. "Wow, pretty! You don't hear names like that in my home. I'm Kalim al- uh, I'm lost, I mean. Where am I? It's too dark to read the signs,"

He can read, too. Still, he's wearing what looks like a burlap sack, baggy and brown, beads of sweat on his forehead from the dying heat of the desert, or perhaps from wandering, walking to nowhere all night.

He must be really poor, you reason. How sad, to not have a home to go home to! No bed to bundle up in! You wouldn't know what you'd do without your family, or your coffeehouse, or your room, your music, your clothes...

You balance your broom against the wall and let him inside. The door closes behind him with a thud.

"North, near the edge of the desert. Where are you from?"

"Oh, I'm..." he starts. "It's not important. I'm not going back. What do you guys make here?"

"Coffee and tea,"

"Oh, I love tea!" he smiles. "And coffee! Well, I love everything delicious. Jamil brews me this really good kind..."

"Who's Jamil?"

"He's- oh, right. He's, um, no one," Kalim says, crossing his arms and pretending to be disinterested. "Thank you for letting me in- you're really nice."

"Well... I wouldn't have let you wander out there. The desert here isn't the safest at night,"

His eyes widen. "Is it? I had no idea,"

How strange. He's so... happy, for someone who's led such a hard life. You suppose there's something admirable about that- smiling in the face of suffering.

"You can stay in my room," you say. "Just don't take anything, okay? My family doesn't have a lot."

Kalim nods and lets you lead him to another door, his voice dropping low. "I would never,"

There's something strangely familiar about this boy. Maybe you'd seen him on a milk carton, or something. You'd heard adults say that they do that in some towns. But not here- what are you thinking?

Kalim looks around your room, eyes wide at your clothes, your books, your desk full of paper and splattered with ink. He only sits on the bed when you ask him too (seeing him spin around the room was making you dizzy).

"So, what brings you here?" you ask, drawing your knees to your chest. He does the same, imitating you.

"I ran away from home,"

He admits it in an ashamed sort of way, as if he had committed a crime- you're not sure someone so sewn with guilt could do such a thing.

You tilt your head to the side. "Why? Were your parents cruel?"

"Oh, no, they were the best,"

"Were you being forced to marry someone you didn't love?"

"No, but that sounds scary,"

"Were they going to send you away to become a man?" you'd read that in a book, once.

"Oh, no!" Kalim says. "Worse than all of that. I did something awful."

As you'd suspected. "What did you do?"

He hugs his knees tighter to his chest, his head hung low. "I hurt someone I care about,"

"On purpose?"

"No,"

"Then why do you feel bad about it?"

"It was my fault," he says. "If I wasn't... who I am, then it never would have happened. Jamil is sick and it's all my fault."

There's that name again. His eyes glisten, reflecting the light of the stars in his tears. His hair is white, like the midnight moon. Where have you seen him before?

"I think Jamil will forgive you if you tell him how you feel," you offer. You'd also read that in a book, once. "If he cares about you like how you care about him, then he'll understand."

Kalim sniffles, wiping his nose on his burlap sleeve, pushing it up to reveal a sliver of silken white beneath. "But what if it happens again?"

You don't know how to answer that. The dark of the room makes everything feel more serious, solemn, as if you're at a funeral for someone you don't know.

"But what if it doesn't?"

Kalim is quiet, mumbling that question to himself. "But what if it doesn't...?"

You place a hand on his shoulder, almost protectively so, to give him peace of mind for the moment.

And then he hums. "But what if it doesn't? I like that," he wipes his tears on his sleeve and looks at you with that smile again. "You're really smart, you know. If I had to marry anyone, I'd hope it'd be you."

The sentiment, as sick with emotion as it is, stirs something in you.

Kalim is gone by morning. He might have left so as not to disturb you, but you know that he had gone home running, eager to see his friends again.

His family will be happy to see him, you wager. And you wonder if you'll see him again- will he be a boy at a bakery in another town? An apprentice at a blacksmith? Will his family own the next farm you find?

You can't be sure.

All you know, for now, is that somewhere in the world, there's a boy named Kalim, with a friend named Jamil, and you can only hope that they're happy.

[thegoldendaystrikesback]

Bingge finally getting together with Shen Yuan and being reluctant to have sex with him because he is afraid that it's going to ruin everything

[intermundia]

the ends the villains got in this season were so poetic and eminently justified to me. dedra, partagaz, they got what they deserved for their arrogance and ambition, their cruelty and selfishness, and all their contributions to the oppression of an authentically evil empire. syril died unrecognized and unremarkable, a traitor to the rebels who were foolish enough to trust him, and a patsy for an empire and a lover who didn't. dedra was jailed like a common laborer, everything she hoped to avoid, unwittingly helping the enemy create the chaos she despised through her own arrogance. partagaz fell on his sword for his failed leadership, the words of nemick some of the last things he ever heard. the writing of the show didn't excuse any of them, or allow time for their redemption. the audience could feel sympathy at their own discretion, but it was not particularly encouraged. they did terrible things, and were punished in the narrative.

the ends of the heroes were equally rich and earned. luthen died the way he always expected and maybe intended, by his own choice, finally caught, though it took some help in the end. i think the person most openly rewarded ultimately was bix, who held hope in her arms in an idyllic setting, standing amidst a crop ready for harvest. i think some of her trauma will linger on, but she was able to make things right, and punish her torturer, prevent others from suffering as she did. we saw that she went through an ugly period of healing, and it took many years, but in the end she survived, and found a peaceful life. vel lost her great love, the struggle cut cinta's life tragically short, but i think the narrative left her future with kleya open, maybe they could have a new story of their own together. they're both profoundly damaged people, but so capable and with such good intentions.

and of course cassian's story began with the end already told, it was already over, and nothing could be done to change it. the story could only ever manifest it. all his love and loss, it was all setting him up to pass a vital torch, and be a messenger of hope when the galaxy needed him most. i always knew such a rich prequel series would make the tragedy of rogue one hit harder, and as i watch it now, it does. there's so much weight to his presence, all his history and complexity. it was a tremendous loss on scarif, such a powerful sacrifice of such a good person, who did hard things others wouldn't or couldn't. he tried, in the service of the cause of freedom for the galaxy. so many things had to happen in order to make it possible to destroy the death star and ultimately destroy the empire, and the remarkable, precious thing is that they did. it happened because of so many small acts of service and dedication, so much loss. i think the series was profoundly successful in telling that story.

[shamebats]

Excuse the rant but maybe people wouldn't have to resort to asking chat bots for medical advice if GPs didn't regularly do things like weigh you and tell you to lose weight when you come in for any issue whatsoever or prescribe you high dose ibuprofen for a headache that's been going on for 3 weeks that you've already been taking ibuprofen for and not warn you about medication overuse headaches (a purely hypothetical scenario).

I even had one GP just vaguely tell me to "get a blood test done" when I was young and didn't know anything about how anything works and I ended up having to figure out what she meant by that by explaining my health issues to the nurse at the reception, because the wait time for another appointment with that GP was like half a year and she didn't give me a referral or even tell me what they should test for.

I was only able to get my health issues sorted out in the last few years, at almost 30, because I moved countries, got a steady job and was able to pay for private appointments.

Would I trust a chatbot with my healthcare? No. Would I trust the average GP? Also no. So what's someone who never gets to the point where they can access decent quality care supposed to do? Just be sick and suffer? Obviously they're going to ask the chatbot. I'm a migraine sufferer, I've done dumber things out of desperation. And it's still better than paying to see a naturopath or whatever those unhinged alternative medicine grifters who pretend to be doctors are called. At least the bot has somewhat of a chance of getting it right and not telling you to buy sugar pills and put bleach up your ass.

[8-rae-rae-8]

i am feeling angry for no reason. and someone has to suffer for this, so let it be my dearest phillip graves ❤️

make him suffer violently. physically, mentally, and emotionally. maybe on their own, but hopefully in pairs at least (maybe even all three if you're feeling really sadistic).

but wait! a moment! give him a crumb of comfort. he cherishes it but it simultaneously makes him feel guilty beyond belief because he quite honestly believes he doesn't deserve it for betraying the people he wanted to be friends with under means of just trying to keep himself and his shadows alive. the comfort makes him let down his shields a bit, but that just makes him vulnerable for others to attack.

i do not have specifics other than this. just graves whump in every single way you can possibly think of. (all of this is /nf by the way. i've never actually given requests so i don't really know how this works)

thank you for possibly considering me, o great one. 🙇‍♂️

Thank you anon thank you, I will take this opportunity briefly to say

[CW: manipulation, child abuse, abuse, implied brief noncon, conditioning(?), mentions of death]

Imagine if you will

Phillip Graves being trained so well, from a young age, to do as he was told. To be seen, not heard. The military was an escape until he got hooked by Shepherd and, damnit, he was too weak to resist the promises he made.

He listened. He behaved. He cared, way too fucking much. Graves practically signed away his life for a chance at something more. Shadow Company was supposed to be his more. His new thing, something he'd love—and he does—but the picture gets clearer and clearer to him every day.

Those promises were fake, the benefits he got were null, the pay was worse, the work was more strenuous. But Phillip Graves learned not to complain, hushed with a finger to his lips or snapped at and scolded until he understood. He sees a little better what he's been looking at from tinted glasses.

From where he sits at Shepherd's feet as a guard dog, he's nothing more than a tool. A measley mutt, something weak and waiting to be used because he was so desperate to prove himself.

He can't dig himself out of this hole. He knows it. There's nowhere to go. Who would he run to anyway?

When he steps a foot out of line, the barely healed wounds remind him of what happens when he does. The stern gaze sends terror through him, the all too similar way his father standing in the hall with a belt would; except this time, he'd be losing a lot more than just his ability to sit for a few hours.

He's a mutt chained to a post. He can lunge and bark and bite, but it'll get him nowhere. At this point, after everything, he's not sure he deserves that regardless. Here, at least, he's made a home. Someone will ask how he is, and he'll lie away every follow-up question with a smile on his face. The way they hug him is so much more gentle. Safe. Warm.

And yet, like a dog, he'll always crawl back here to lay at his owner's feet before Shepherd can catch a glimpse of what he's doing—he always knows anyway. Another punishment, another scolding, another bruise or cut.

Weary and tired, it's hard to keep up appearances, but he does it just well enough.

Shamefully, for just a second, he believed the 141 and Los Vaqueros could see him. The chuckles, the fist bumps, the banter... He thought he'd get a chance, just one. But he never deserved that, did he? Shepherd wasted no time with them, sending orders to Graves' desk, telling him to kill each and every remaining team member. Make them pay for daring to treat Phil with an ounce of kindness.

He couldn't even say he was sorry, just tried to aim where it wouldn't kill. It had to look real, after all. Even still, he had half the thought to think that maybe, just maybe, they'd see him. See all this. The Shadows' confusion, his tenseness, his fear... Why'd he ever think he'd get lucky like that?

If he ignored the order, it would break him. Literally. His shadows would be out of jobs, god knows Shepherd isn't above sending others to kill them for no reason. He'd lie about them "going rogue" or something. He'd lose everything he ever wanted and only ever got because he was stupid enough to think this could all happen and be okay.

The shadows noted it, a little bit. They saw his panicked eyes and restless stance. The only comfort he got out there were small smiles and brief touches. Brush of the shoulders, a gentle pat. For a minute, he could believe it was okay.

The one chance at getting out was that godforsaken court room, and even then he failed when his walls kept coming down until the stupid idea someone would see this terrifying situation. But no. No one will come for him when he drowns in the ship he dared to live on. No one will see the way his eyes dart around as Shepherd clasps a threatening hand over his shoulder like it's a kind gesture. No one will hear the way he sobs that night, knowing it'll always just be him, drowning here alone.

I got carried away and I think I missed some points but it's almost 6am so

[donutfrosting]

Hiiii y'all, doing okay in that party there? :>

(Probably hell no for the most of you, but ehhh suffer for our entertainment for now ig... )

Some Qs and other stuff now:

How is the entire dating thing going with you Azure? You can't exactly date someone who's brain is practically just an animal, so how's that working out over there? I'm quite curious on your thoughts about that.

Oh and on a similar note, Hiiiii stitches, opinion on Azure? Well more like feelings I guess, can't word this too properly. But hey, any semblance of a romantic brain in there left?

c00lkidd, you need to tell him. You need to. Nothing is gonna get done if you don't. :3

Oh, and Mask Guest and Party Noob! :> You should really ask Azure about flowers. He's really into botany, you know, more options for decor and maybe gifting! It'll be a nice thing to take care of, wouldn't it?

Elliot, 007n7 I am giving you hot water bottles because I know being stuck in one position for too long hurts like hell. (And y'all suffered being here the longest. You guys need breaks)

Signed- A

"It's... difficult, to say the least. I can't just stop my feelings for them, even if they're like... this. But—I'm not sure if I'll ever be able to act on them now... Would they even understand anymore?,, It's just so complicated..."

- Puppet Azure

Stitched Time's feelings for Azure still remain deep down, but they can no longer be properly, sanely expressed.

I'd advise you stop pestering C00lkidd, unless you want to have a friendly visit by 1337. :3

"Great idea! We could have such a pretty garden for the party... Isn't that right, Guesty?"

- Face Noob, Mask Guest agrees.

"... Hot water bottles? I mean- I guess I can't complain anymore, and... It'd probably be better for 007n7 too..."

- Party Elliot

007n7 silently thanks you.

[oretskov]

　　 ━━ 　forgotten wonders / my old realities

currently bat has — what — twelve active realities? but having been a shifter since it first blew up on dracotok (trigger warning, i know), there have been some realities that she's dropped. let's talk about them !

✷　i've lost myself somewhere　ᐟ　marvel cinematic universe dr

at some point in time, i was a die-hard marvel stan. shocker, since now my personality revolves around batman and the dcverse. this was my first dr ever! the funny thing is, it was so rare to find marvel shifters back then. everyone wanted to go to hogwarts to the point that silly young me thought it wasn't possible to shift to any other universe than harry potter. i remember writing down my script for this dr on a sheet of paper and folding it under my pillow like i was in princess and the pea. it's not a fandom nor dr that i care for anymore :/

who was i? i was a young avenger who lived in the tower. i was friends with wanda and pietro before anything — we suffered under hydra together. loki's scepter gave me the powers of fire and water — one hand shot flames, the other water. my hero alias was magma. i think my love interests were either going to be pietro maximoff or peter parker.

✷　i only have eyes for you　ᐟ　k-pop dr

i still contemplate making a new kpop dr sometimes but then again, i'm happy having huang renjun (loml) be an icon i admire rather than an actual lover of mine. but gosh, a non-idol universe with the dreamies would be so fucking fun. or even enhypen! park sunghoon ♡__♡ yang jungwon ♡__♡

who was i? i'd rather take a bullet to the leg than face the trials and tribulations of the korean idol industry. no, see, i was a songwriter and producer for many of my favourite groups. mainly under jyp entertainment for stray kids. i was supposed to be the cool, talented producer the members, and especially, 3racha loved. god, i cannot remember who was going to be my s/o but there would've been many choices: bang chan, lee felix, kim seungmin, huang renjun??? too many options. too many biases.

✷　crow of judgment　ᐟ　assassination classroom dr

up until last year, before i first watched tokyo revengers, assassination classroom had been my favourite anime for a consecutive eight years. i still hold it very dear to my heart, and maybe one day, i'll go back.

who was i? i was ririka tamago, a class B student who always excelled in sports and performing arts. my childhood best friend and eventual lover was asano gakushuu. had he never been my tutor, i don't think i would've ever managed to be in class B for as long as i was. my fallout into class E was when member of the 'big five' and pervert, teppei araka, had tried to hit on me on the way home. i gave it straight to him and kicked his ass. principal gakuho came to find out about it and did not like that. how dare i harm one of his top students! as punishment, he demoted me to class E — where i actually thrived with good classmates and friends.

✷　i carry your heart with me　ᐟ　extraordinary you dr

used to be my favourite k-drama before i watched the first season of alchemy of souls. yes, i'm obsessed with lee jaewook. y'all, i didn't play about this k-drama — it was a huge part of me. i wouldn't mind going back here only for baek kyung but i have my own kyung variant, theodore nott, in my hogwarts dr.

who was i? there was no shadow and stage in this dr. we were just constantly in the shadow i think. i was the a3's best friend. the popular it-girl everyone was jealous of. i had two little twin brothers (who i miss dearly) and was the daughter of a famous fashion ceo and model. had bad, uncommunicative parents. me and baek kyung were always there for each other — each other's safety nets coming from terrible households.

✷　how many more?　ᐟ　scream dr

the scream franchise used to be such a big part of me. i adored it no matter what. i hate zionists though and their decisions to let melissa barrera and jenna ortega go were NOT it. made me lose respect and love for it altogether.

who was i? i can't remember much of this dr. all i remember was being best friends to lovers with wes hicks. it was set during scream 5 obviously — i don't think ghostface ever returned after the previous movie. so, it was sort of boring (but safe). just an excuse to love wesley.

✷　don't carry it all　ᐟ　eternals dr

this might the one subsection of the mcu that i still care about. unless you're also counting daredevil and x-men. and they cancel the second movie? ugh! why are we letting the haters WIN. i loved everything about this movie. it was the start of my barry keoghan phase (i was there before every one of y'all 🫵). druig and makkari are one of my favourite ships hehe.

who was i? my name was theria, derived from the word 'therianthropy'. it means the mythological ability or affliction of individuals to metamorphose into animals or hybrids by means of shapeshifting. i was called woman of all or the beast by others. i was 4425 freaking years old, born in 5000 bc. we lived in babylon <3 my powers were so cool, it's hard to explain when i don't think it's ever been used in other movies. my power was a projection of an animal's spirit. i could conjure the spirit of a lion, eagle, shark, snake, wolf, a cat and even a phoenix. the exoskeleton of animal's spirit was what i called the cosmic animal. i could control how they'd attack. when conjuring these spirits, i could possess a few features of theirs for myself. like when i had the lion's spirit, i'd grow the claws and canines of one. my love interest was druig <3

✷　stage 16　ᐟ　fame dr

the classic fame dr. every shifter has had one at least at one point. honestly, i've just grown out of it. i'm not interested in being an actor, nor do i care much for being friends with any LMAO. if i wanted some good celebrity friends and peers, i can just shift to my band dr. also, is jack champion still relevant? i'm not so into him anymore.

who was i? adithya atira thomas, mononymously known as atira. growing up in a rocky household, i was lucky to find stardom by landing a role in titans. i'd go on to star in the fear street trilogy, scream 5 and 6, not okay, do revenge and avatar: the way of water. i'd meet jack champion on the set for avatar and grow close. when jack got casted in scream 6, everyone saw our established chemistry and had our characters in the film be love interests. fans ate up our interviews together and just maybe, everyone was right for shipping us.

✷　peace within　ᐟ　spider-verse dr

i still love this fandom, don't get me wrong. i would actually consider this dr an active one if only i ever got to finish its script. maybe when beyond the spiderverse releases, i'll get the inspiration to go back here.

who was i? i lived in earth-42 and attended brooklyn visions academy. during a class trip to oscorp, a radioactive, cyborg of a spider bit me. three years later, i'm earth-42's one and only spinneret — or spider-woman, if you want to keep it frank. prowler and i never got along, opponents with flirty tension. it's once i become friends with miles morales as a civilian that we come forth with our secret identities. all feud between spinneret and prowler is solved, thanks to our friendship as civilians. prowler!miles is my love interest but before we get together, he's a little jealous of hobie brown and the other miles when i'm in the spider society lmao.

[herofics]

No Longer Mine, part 5

A/N: Me and my very consistent posting schedule thank you for you patience lol. Part 1 here, part 2 here, part 3 here and part 4 here

Gojo wasn't sure how to react to your hand on his arm. Was he supposed to shake it off? Or maybe, he could use it to his advantage. If it angered Ava, she might slip up and reveal something she didn't mean to. So Gojo placed his hand on top of yours and gave you a smile.

"I'm fine, thank you for worrying about me" he said as you took your hand back.

"No problem?" you said, raising a brow with a bit of a surprised look on your face.

You were a bit puzzled by Gojo's reaction, but you quickly caught onto what he was trying to do, so you decided to play along.

"You're just throwing yourself at him, aren't you? You cheap slut. Don't you get it, he doesn't want you anymore, he has me now" Ava said venomously.

Gojo was flabbergasted by this woman's delusional belief in her relationship with him. As if he would ever stay with her after she hurt you. It was as if she believed she hadn't done anything wrong.

"I don't really care what you think of me. I just want to ask, why? Obviously, you never had a chance with him while I was around, but why not just kill me? Wouldn't that have been easier?" you asked, taking Gojo's hand in yours to try to rile her up.

Again, you touching him made him freeze for just a second. Your hand felt so familiar in his, it was a bit rougher than it was almost five years ago. What had you gone through during your missing time? Did you even know yourself? Even if you did, would you ever tell him?

"Don't touch him!" Ava screeched, straining against her bindings.

She struggled for a moment, before stopping and looking at you with that same hatred in her eyes as when you'd first entered the room.

"You were supposed to die, but the guy I hired, apparently didn't feel like following my instructions. Who knows what he did to you during those four years you were gone. You still don't have any memories of that time, do you?" she smirked maliciously.

You almost let go of Gojo's hand and took a step back in shock at what she was implying, but he held onto you, not letting you waver. Something had certainly happened to you during your missing time, after you woke up in the hospital, you noticed you had a lot more scars than before. Someone had done something to you, and the only clues you had were the vague nightmares you suffered from and the scars covering your body. Did she know? Did she know who had taken four years of your life and what they had done with it?

"Tell me what happened to me" you said with a quiet but clear voice.

"I'll tell you, if you get your filthy hands off my fiancé" she demanded.

You looked at Gojo, and even though it pained him, he let go of your hand.

"Good… I don't actually know what happened to you after that guy took you, I was under the impression he killed you as we agreed. I thought you burned with the house. When you showed up half a year ago it was just as much of a surprise for me as it was for everyone else" she scoffed.

"But you did organize it? You paid some guy to burn down our home and kill (Name), but he took them instead, and did god knows what to them for four years?!" Gojo seethed.

You looked at him again, and he looked enraged. Gojo had balled his hands into fists, and you could see and hear him breathing heavily.

"Okay, okay, you're taking a break" you said, stepping between Gojo and Ava. "Out" you commanded, but Gojo didn't budge.

You placed your hand on his chest, which finally got him peel his eyes off of Ava. "Out of the room, now" you hissed and pushed him back a bit.

Gojo turned on his heels, and left the detention room, leaving you and Ava alone. He saw you disappear behind the door as it closed, was it really a good idea for you to be left alone with her? Gojo resisted the urge to hit the wall next to him as he leaned against it and slumped down to the floor. He was just so angry. Was this his fault? Had he somehow enticed Ava, caused her to do all of this? Were the horrors you had gone through his fault? He just couldn't get the idea out of his head. Gojo wasn't used to spiraling like this.

He could hear your voice from inside the detention cell, but he couldn't make out what you were saying.

"You're seriously unwell if you think Gojo would ever take you back after what you did" you sighed, pinching the bridge of your nose, trying to stay calm.

"He loves me, and you were getting in the way of our relationship, he'll understand" Ava stated, like it justified everything she had done.

"You're delusional. Gojo is a good person, he would never continue being with someone like you after he knows what you've done"

You were quite sure there was nothing you could say to her that would make her understand she was wrong. She was so sure she had done nothing wrong, that you were the bad guy, because you had gotten in her way. She didn't know anything about your missing time, so you were still mostly left without answers.

"I came here, wanting to kick your head in for what you did to me, but now I mostly just feel pity for you. Enjoy the rest of your life, or what little you have left of it anyway" you said, before turning away and leaving the room.

The door shut behind you, and you could feel this wave of frustration overtaking you, as you hit the wall in front of you. You still didn't have answers, you still didn't know why you were plagued with nightmares or where the scars on your body had come from.

"Did she say something that upset you?" Gojo asked, getting up from the floor.

"It's more like what she didn't say. She doesn't know anything about my missing time" you sniffled.

"What if you never find out? What then?" Gojo asked, standing too close to you again, looking you in the eyes intensely.

"I don't know" you said, taking a small step back to put at least a little bit of distance between yourself and him.

"Is it really so unbearable for you to be close to me?" the words fell out of his mouth before he could think.

"I don't know… I don't blame you for what happened, but… we're not together anymore, I'm with Kento now and-"

"You could leave him" Gojo interrupted.

"No, he's good to me, and I love him. I've moved on" you shook your head

"You loved me too… once" Gojo said, his voice heavy with sadness.

"I still do, in some way, but I can't be with you anymore…" you were fiddling with your sleeve, looking down at the floor.

Finally, hearing you say that, broke his heart. In some corner of his mind, he had held out hope, ever since he saw you in that hospital bed. He had held out hope that the two of you would be together again. Now that you had made it clear there was no chance of that, he felt broken, as if he had lost you all over again, and in a way he had. You weren't dead, but you were out of his reach, probably forever.

"I need to go" you muttered and rushed past Gojo, leaving him just standing there, alone.

Leaving Gojo alone with Ava might not have been the smartest move, but you couldn't stay. You didn't want to look at him, you didn't want to hear the pain in his voice. You knew he was in pain, but you left him alone anyway. Sometimes you had to protect your own peace. His feelings weren't your responsibility, you weren't responsible if he did something stupid. Some little part of you hoped he would rip her apart, but you also didn't want him to do that, you knew he would regret it if he did. He had loved her too, and it wasn't so easy to get rid of those kinds of feelings, you were well aware of that.

[starsandstarlight]

"Oh? The attention of being one of the Saviors too much for them?" they said it with a teasing lilt, though they knew they certainly wouldn't like all that attention either, especially after all the terrible things they'd done in the loops. Stars, they wondered how much praise they got just from the people in Dormont. It'd be ten times worse in an actual city.

While the others busied themselves with preparing the camp for the night (something Loop felt highly out of place in - muscle memory was starting to come back but the group had their own roles and they were an outsider intruding on it; yet still, the guilt they felt at taking advantage of them all and not helping was deep), Loop surveyed the campsite for a proper sleeping tree.

They looked back at stardust, though, when he spoke.

"Are you asking that for me or for you?" Loop teased. "I don't think we can both sit on the same branch, anyway!"

Unfortunately he did have a point, though. They'd already woken up thinking that whole final loop had been a dream when they slept in the Favor Tree that first night. Luckily closing their eyes to check up on stardust and see that they were not, in fact, going through the corrupted House of Change anymore was a quick way to confirm that it wasn't. As was actually looking at the House of Change itself.

So . . . maybe they shouldn't sleep in a tree, after all. But they weren't going to just ask stardust for their tent, especially after they already rejected their offer for it! They'd rather suffer~

"I thought so. then I think it be best for you and siffrin to stay outside of the cities. I know our cat like rogue over there is not too thrilled about too much attention either." and if the swarming got to be too much for even them, she'd return with bonnie and leave the rest to mirabelle and isabeau.

there is a little huff from siffrin but finding himself unable to hide in his cloak he finds himself not protesting too loudly over being compared to a cat - besides that is still better than potentially having odile state with amusement that well, if they felt so brave, he could join them all in the city and be swarmed.

they soon all started to wind down for the night. siffrin made sure the others were busy with washing up dishes or whatever else they found themselves doing before approaching loop.

"do you want me to sleep by your side tonight? when you wake up you'd know you aren't at the start of a loop" they had all slept together in a big pile the first night after the loops ended and siffrin still hated going to bed, always afraid he'd wake up on that meadow. he can guess that the star would prefer resting by themself, away from everyone but still...

[here-be-misfit]

I want pain.

[dykedvonte]

I think depictions of Anya being cruel to Curly or drawing out his suffering are artful and chilling but completely miss the point of the story and her character.

I'm not saying she doesn't deserve to have that "I told you so" moment with him but not in something callous or cold. Even if that is how it happened, she'd immediately feel guilty cause at that point she's not tormenting her tormenter or even the person truly at fault. She's doing something cathartic, similar to how Jimmy likely hits Curly to release rage he can't against the rest of the crew. She'd see herself as no different when she'd come back from the moment and see Curly cowering at her. She wants someone to take responsibility but how does being cruel to the defenseless help? Why would she want the power Jimmy has over her over Curly?

The idea of her extending someone else's pain is just so against the struggles she already faces and how she can't even bring herself to cause someone pain even to help them. Her very desire is to release herself from her own suffering and I doubt she'd even fine some sort of guilty release in being cruel to another.

[sygneth]

game of deduction

[ekletia]

@mxboxlocks I actually know what you're talking about. (Yes, besides the drug problem, my family also had alcohol problems. The only thing that motivates me is not drinking a bottle of whiskey every single day that could kill me.) I see myself in Wilson. I'm like, I can't cry anymore, just laughing, because Everything hurts too much, if my physical health with so many allergies wasn't enough. There's a medicine that if I took two in an hour, the hearse would take me.(It's not a joke this is a real world.) I always have an allergy medication on my backpack. (The list is complex and long.)

I just didn't understand why you wanted to examine it. (Sorry, I need to develop socially.) I'm sorry if I've offended you, but maybe I'm upset because, despite all the problems, life can be very beautiful. Yes, I'm saying that my whole life was just suffering. Maybe it came down to me being okay., but no. I'm not okay. I have mental, physical and family problems. And I say that life is full of joy, and you have to get out of it, even if it's hard. Unfortunately, there is no problem I have not yet encountered.

I have a panic attack because of my parents. I can't talk to them so I don't crash. I was always to blame for everything and a lot of fighting. I walk a lot in nature and it’s beautiful (Despite my allergies.), Laughing with people or eating a delicious meal that doesn't want to kill me or drink a very nice warm coffee or watch a good movie or series or Creating something wonderful.

Life is full of little miracles that make it worth living. I think a lot about how much I want to create and how much my own life depends on my own knowledge. You are not alone. Everyone is struggling with something, and maybe we could use the internet to fight for things together. Maybe that's why I could make a joke out of everything negative, because I've met everything. Yes, even from death.

Everyone feels sorry for my life, but I don’t have to. Because if I hadn't lived through every negative thing, I wouldn't be able to say right now that I know what you're talking about, and I know how hard it is. No need to apologize, just stay positive about your life. See the happy little moments you love in your daily life. If I can see the positive side of my life in spite of my own shit, I hope someone else can see it and appreciate their own life a little more, even though you now see that there is no way out of it. There is always a way out, only small moments are important.

Can we get more bonkers Wilson? Seeing him insane makes me want to cry but also observe him like a bug

day 83!

[daily-stupendium]

Day 44

[countlessofvoids]

Haha Chief don't kys

[charleemoon]

if i fucking went through the trial and awfulness that was growing to love someone who you know is changing you in ways you aren't prepared to accept, and people ive known for YEARS, DECADES, wanted me to stop him from what he was doing, people he posed a genuine THREAT TO. and still i couldn't help but be overcome by how much ive grown to fucking love this person, in such a short time, the ways in which he's seen me, since the day we met. no one, not my parents, not my friends, im practically halfway through my life and i was satisfied, maybe even close to happy some days. and i found out all at once that i was never fucking living at all, never truly seen or understood by anyone MY WHOLE LIFE UNTIL HIM. and in my rage and suffering for what he did to me, i made a choice to betray him. and during that choice realized fuck. i can't. i want to run away with him. i want to be with him and i want to abandon everything ive ever known to have him for the rest of my fucking life. and by the time ive realized that, it's too fucking late. he knows what ive done and he's so hurt he wouldn't believe me if i told him i wanted nothing more now than him to run. for me to go with. and he leaves me. i finally realize what i want and it's gone. ive lost everything in one night and blood gushing out of what he left me with, im not sure if ill ever get it back. im not sure if ill even live to see tomorrow. im not sure if i want to.

and then i do and i find out he's alive and in italy with HIS FUCKING PSYCHIATRIST. YOU KNOW. THE ONE WHO AGREED WITH ME THAT HE WAS MANIPULATIVE AND HORRIFYING. THE ONE THAT ALREADY RAN AWAY FROM HIM WHEN I STAYED. THEYRE IN FLORENCE DRINKING WINE AND BATHING EACH OTHER.

id eat her leg too like holy fuck

No, but I genuinely understand where Will was coming from with the whole decent into beautiful darkness thing. Like if I met someone who understood me so deeply, who reached into the darkest parts of my brain and pulled out the sin just to hold it gently like it's something to be adored, I would probably kill people too