#Maybe she got gluttonied off camera

[zeivira]

In “No Rest For The Wicked” — how would Reinhard and Wilhelm respond to Subaru’s “condition”?? I can’t stop thinking about them —

Short reply: Badly lol.

Long reply: Reinhard tells Felt in one of the SS that he considers Subaru one of his dearest friends (Term is vague enough it can be considered “best friend”) this is after they met only twice— during arc 1 and arc 3. Those meetings remain canon on 'No Rest For the Wicked'. 

Now, the way I see it, Rein doesn’t only consider Subaru his close friend just because of his personality but because Subaru gave him another chance to save the Royal Family (by helping him meet Felt). 

So, we have a Reinhard who thinks Subaru (a kind, friendly person that doesn’t care he is a monster AND helped him fulfil his dreams of serving the Lugunican Royal Family again!!!) dying of the same ailment that took the Lugunican Royal Family from him originally!!! This is devastating news from him. He was very close to them, especially Fourier (though less than Ferris ofc.)

Reinhard was one of the people in charge of trying outside help to save the royal Family, and in addition to that: his mom has Sleeping Beauty Syndrome!! So he knows a lot more than the average person about the ailment that Subaru supposedly has. That’s why I imagine Emilia would go after Arc 3’s Royal Meeting to the Astrea manor and try to enlist his help to save Subaru. Felt would be there too, but he would of course, accept her request (Felt wouldn't be against it, ofc)

It would be Reinhard’s second chance to save someone from that disease. 

This was all actually explained in a scene from the fic that I cut because it felt too…. different compared to the rest of the fic. It’s pretty serious for a crack fic (Random fact: whenever I write a fic, I usually draft many scenes and then cut down the ones that in my opinion don’t fit the general mood/style.)

About Wilhelm:

He knows that: Heinkel is using him as a rat lab to save Louanna. Subaru helped Reinhard meet Felt. And now Subaru is helping him kill the whale. In Wilhelm’s eyes, Subaru is putting the Astrea Family together again, despite being close to death himself!!! 

As Subaru is going to the Whale hunt with Heinkel, I imagine the Wilhelm & Subaru interactions would get reduced on this verse. Those two still don't get along, after all. And Subaru needs him to keep Ferris away.

Somehow, I feel that No Rest!Wilhelm would see more Louanna than Theresia in Subaru. A very tragic figure he admires a lot.

And well, as we know, meanwhile Heinkel is:

Thank you for the question OP! i had lots of fun replying to this!!! Feel free to ask more whenever you want!!

[viscerax]

You asked for requests, soooooo I am going to give you two!

Jam reunion or Jay gets eeby deebied back in time after he died, you choose when

Go crazy!!!

Reunion

Tim stares out the window while his hands absent-mindedly fidget with Jay's old camera. It had been awhile since he needed to use it. Who's counting?

Tim was. It had been 457 days since Jay died. Tim never moved away. He wanted to so badly, but it turns out being a minimum wage stock clerk doesn't exactly provide him with enough funds to move out. So he's stuck in that miserable house, with those miserable memories, and that miserable feeling in his gut.

He was tempted to sell Jay's camera, get some extra cash. But he couldn't. Anytime he opened Craigslist or e-bay, he stared at the web page for a moment before closing it. He couldn't bring himself to do it. The camera was the last proof that any of it happened, its scuffed edges and cracked lens. Without it, he might as well have just been crazy. No one else believed him. He knew damn well telling his therapist would just land him in another facility and numbed up on so many meds that he probably wouldn't even be able to remember his own name. He's been through that, and he wasn't going to do it again.

He sighs, setting the camera down again. He's about to get up when he feels something rub against his leg. He flinched a bit, looking down and finding a furry face staring back up at him, his new cat, affectionately named "Jay". He reached down, scratching her chin and earning a satisfied purr. It wasn't much, it certainly wasn't a replacement for Jay, but it was better than nothing.

He pulls his hand away, earning a needy chirp from the feline. Tim sighs, standing up with a grunt. "I know, i know. You're hungry, I get it." Tim makes his way to his kitchen, reaching up to the top cabinet and grabbing a bag of kibble for the feline.

He's standing on his tiptoes, and curses himself for putting the bag so out of reach. Normally he'd keep it on the floor, but he learned very quickly that wasn't an option with Jay, lest he wishes that she tear the bag open and feast upon it's contents in a single night.

He has the bag just barely pinched in his fingers and dragging it over the edge, when a sudden barrage of knocking at his front door catches him off guard, and the bag comes falling down, spilling open over his head.

"God damnit!" He shouts, allowing the now half-empty bag to fall to the floor. He turns to his cat, eyeing the pile with a look that could only be described as gluttony. "Jay, don't you fucking dare." He mutters to the cat, before picking the bits of cat food from his hair and off the front of his shirt.

"Just a moment!" He shouts to whoever is knocking at the door as he does his best to shake the kibble from the inside of his shirt.

"Tim?"

Tim freezes at the voice. He thinks its got to be another auditory hallucination. After all, there was no way it was him. He saw Jay's dead body. He buried him himself in the woods, mainly because no one else even knew who "Jay" was. His parents said they only had a daughter, not a son named Jay.

Except, it can't be a hallucination, because it catches his cat's attention too.

Tim takes a shaking breath. Maybe he just heard it wrong. Maybe it was just the mail man. Or a neighbor. Or one of those missionaries. Yes, that must be it.

Still, he trudged towards the door, hand shaking as he reaches for the knob. What if it's the Operator, back again. Playing tricks on him?

Tim slowly unlocks the door, slowly turning the door knob. He squeezes his eyes shut, not worrying about how he might look crazy to whoever is on the other side.

"Tim? Timothy?" The voice is there again. Tim can't take it anymore. He opens his eyes. He sees both his best dream and worst nightmare.

Jay Merrick standing at his doorstep.

He wants to speak, move, but he can't. He doesn't know what to do. Jay, Really Jay, is standing there, staring at Tim like he was the walking corpse.

"Tim, oh my god." Jay breaks the silence, and Tim can't stop the choked sob that spills past his lips. He almost falls forward, but catches himself on the doorframe. Jay flinched back a bit, and he can't tell if Tim is still angry or not. Not like he would blame him.

"Tim I didn't- im sorry- I don't know what I was doing and-" Jay starts rambling, tripping over his words and fidgeting with his trembling hands.

Jay almost topples over when suddenly a very heavy weight is crashing against him. But he doesn't fall. Instead, he's enveloped in warm, trembling arms. Tim is hugging him, and Jay is practically stunned.

"I know, Jay. I... I saw the entry. I-" his words are choked off by another sob as squeezes Jay again. "Y-you're here. Y-you can't be. You're not real." Tim is trembling, face buried in Jay's neck. Jay doesn't know what to do, so he just follows Tim's actions, wrapping his own lanky arms around Tim and trying to comfort him.

"I'm... yeah. I'm here. I'm real. I promise." Jay mumbles, a hand tentatively reaching up and petting Tim's hair.

"Jay... I... I buried you, though. I- how are you- I don't get it." Tim rambles as he reluctantly pulls away, partly worried that he'd crush the man if he squeezed him for any longer.

"I don't... I don't know. And for once I don't think I want to find out." Jay lets out an awkward chuckle, and the statement earns a snort from Tim.

"Well thats a first." He takes a step to the side, allowing Jay in. He tries to catch his breath, trying to wipe away his tears but they just keep coming and he can't stop them. This had been the most he cried in... ever. Even during the whole Operator fiasco, he never really shed any tears. He felt emotionally blocked up, and now they were all flowing out of him like a broken dam.

"Tim... I... I missed you- I'm sorry for... coming back and drudging this all up again but I- I couldn't- i didn't know who else to go to and-"

Tim practically slaps a hand over his mouth. "Stop apologizing. I- I want you here, I-" he takes a deep breath, and more tears are spilling again. His voice cracks when he finally speaks again. "For years, I couldn't even shed a tear. And then you showed up. All these emotions that I haven't had a chance to experience or didn't realize I had all came out at once because of you." Tim takes a deep breath, swallowing and hoping it will make speech easier, but it doesn't. His voice still trembles. "I can't stop crying, I'm sorry." He lets out a sarcastic laugh, to which Jay just reaches a hand up and wiped away the tears before cupping Tim's stubbley face in his hands.

Tim had been so numb since Jay's death. He'd been... sad, sure. But he had been doing so good at shoving it all down, focusing on other things and eventually drowning out the world-shattering sadness that was currently flowing out of him like a river. He couldnt stop it now. He couldn't drown it out or focus on anything else because Jay was right there, staring down at him with those big sad eyes, and speaking to him with those cracked lips that Tim sometimes wished would just shut up and kiss him.

"Tim... I... I'm sorry. I didn't know you'd- I don't want you to cry. I'm sorry... shit, I-" his words are interrupted by Tim's lips crashing into his with a kind of ferocity he could only expect from the man.

Tim wasn't thinking straight. So many emotions and chemicals swimming around in his brain is what caused him to do this. He's about to pull away and profusely apologize him for his irrational activity, but Jay is kissing him back and holy shit, Tim doesn't think he could pull away if he wanted to with the way Jay is practically clawing to hold onto him. They're both trying to prove to themselves that this is real, and that this is really happening and that it's not just some dream.

Reluctantly, they pull away, damn the need for air. They stay in silence for a moment before Tim finally breaks it.

"Please... please stay. Just for a while." Tim hates how desperate he sounds but he can't bring himself to change it because he is. He's so desperate for Jay to stay that he can't bring himself to be angry at him in any way.

"I will never leave you behind again, if you'll have me." Its a promise, a promise that means so much to the both of them. Tim is so used to people running once they see all of him. Once they get past his bitchy exterior, once they see the sad man that he is. But Jay's seen it all. He knows so much more about Tim then most. And yet he's staying.

Tim answers him with another kiss, albeit shorter than the last. He pulls away and just holds Jay, hands roaming over his back, to his waist, and up and down his arms, still trying to lock in the fact that Jay us really there.

"Mrowww?" The two men are broken apart as their attention falls to a very needy feline.

Tim sighs and picks the cat up, holding her gently and allowing Jay to pet her.

"What's her name?" Jay looks back to Tim, still scratching behind the ears of the purring feline.

Tim panics. Surely it's not... normal to name your cat after your dead "best friend." But, Tim can't think of any creative lie in the moment, so with a defeated sigh, he mumbles his confession.

"I named her... Jay. After you. It was uhm, a recommendation from my therapist. She was supposed to be a therapy pet, but really she mostly just takes up most of my money and attention." He complains about the cat, although its clear from his tone that he doesn't really mean it. The cat means a lot to him, even if he's too stubborn to admit it.

"That's... cute." Jay chuckles, and Tim would give anything he had to make sure he hears that laugh again, even if it's at the expense of his own embarrassment.

"Yeah, whatever." Tim mutters, which only earns another chuckle from Jay. Tim thinks he's going to die from embarrassment, and very quickly sets the cat down, deciding to change the subject. "I have to uhm, clean up a mess, that she made earlier. Before she eats all of it."

Jay is a bit confused, until he looks over Tim's shoulder and sees cat food spilled all over the floor. He giggles and follows behind Tim, helping him clean it up, despite the others protest.

They're both so tired by the time they're done cleaning. It's not like it was a very difficult task, but Tim's pretty sure he's just worn out from the emotional Rollercoaster. He barely makes it to the bed, and tries to opt for passing out on the couch, but Jay practically drags him away to his bedroom, forcing him to lay down.

Jay is about to turn and take refuge on the couch, but Tim grabs his wrist.

"Don't leave. Please. Just for tonight. We can get you a bed tommorow." Tim groggily requests, and who is Jy to deny him, especially when he's looking up at him with those wide eyes that Jay adores.

Jay kicks off his shoes and crawls in next to Tim, relishing in the way he's practically enveloped in warmth.

"I love you. Welcome home, Jaybird." Tim sleepily mumbles into his neck.

Home. Jay hadn't had a home in so long, and he thinks he wouldn't mind if his home was Tim.

[vicecityhq]

██████████████]99% LOADING...SUSPECT INTO THE APD DATABASE...

WITNESS(ES) SAY HE REMINDS THEM OF: cigarette butts, the sound of a gameboy booting up, and bloody knuckles . With a slight resemblance to HWANG HYUNJIN of/the STRAY KIDS.

CLICK BELOW TO VIEW ENTIRE FILE.

FULL FILE:

Last Name, First Name: Jin, Malachi 'Kai' ALIAS: Haise Realm of birth(if earth, nationality): Earth Age: 19 Date of Birth: October 31st, 2001 Gender: Cismale Preferred Pronouns: he/him Species: Half-Ghoul/Half-human Sexual Orientation: Pansexual

Occupation: Game Developer/Night Blood lacky/Weapon’s Tech

VISUAL FILE:

Skin Color: Pale Eye color: One dark grey, the other black with a red iris Scars: plenty of them on his knuckles, one across his nose, and on his upper cheek Piercings: Up both ears, and one in his belly-button Tattoos: both sleeves of sparse stick and pokes and little tattoos, and notably large centipede up his side and around his back in red ink. Hair color: White Abnormalities: His ghoul eye Horns/ wings/ etc: Transformed form: Before he dyed his hair and when he was younger, it would turn white and his normal eye would become the same as the ghoul one. Now that he's older he transforms almost completely with centipede esk legs out his back, and a beak like structure that resembles a plague doctor mask and two extra eyes form.

PERSONAL FILE:

RELIGIOUS BELIEF:  N/A SINS:  greed  /  gluttony  /  sloth  / lust  /  pride  /  envy  /  wrath VIRTUES: chastity  /  charity  /  diligence  /  humility /  kindness /  patience /  justice KNOWN LANGUAGES: English and Below Average Korean SECRETS: He is responsible for the string of 'animal attacks' that have been happening in the camping/overnight area of the park SAVVIES:  Technology and Model Architecture, Electric Guitar, Drums, Bass, Song Writing Powers & Abilities: Ghoul Physiology Traits: prideful & protective

BACKGROUND CHECK:

Date of Birth: 10/31/2001

Date of Death: [ if applying for an undead character ]

Crime Record: Petty theft, Assault, Assault and Battery, Robbery, Avoiding Police, Assault of a Police Officer, Fleeing the scene of a crime, Drug Possession, Tampering with Evidence, Minor in Possession, Minor in Consumption and solicitation, all expunged at 18 and done in the US.

Background/Biography:

Malachi or 'Kai' Jin was a household name for the LAPD. There wasn't a week where the boy wasn't encountering the officers that hunkered down in the East area of the city. From shoplifting to being in possession the file the young half-ghoul began at such a young age only got bigger as the years went on. He'd even spent a spell in juvenile detention for severely beating another young boy for bullying and taunting a close friend of his (see:crush). Being raised by a single mother with two younger siblings, a mother who'd rather drink or do drugs to escape her own problems didn't help in the rehabilitation of the troubled teen. Fighting, stealing and making quick cash to feed the less than poor quartet was all he'd known.

The cards seemed to be turning in the delinquent's favor. At the young age of nine he was transferred to a school for the rich and incredibly intelligent, and the Jin family hadn't been rich at all, but Kai's smarts were enough to send him to the school two cities away. He leapt his way to the top of the class, a studious student that teachers tended to coddle because of his class status. Students followed suit and his entire school career in the prestigious system was a revolving door of detention and suspensions.

But as Kai got older, there was more of an issue at hand, the raising of the siblings his mother brought into the world and the money that didn't come with them. As the teen entered high school his life turned into school days and nights on the streets doing whatever he could to bring home a meal. A lot of the young ghoul's anger grew, losing a lot of his childhood to children  he didn't have and for awhile he didn't want. An anger and grudge he had with his mother, even still holding her up in everyway possible. Many nights holding her hair back or making her vomit on his own, holding her while she cried or icing bruises, as if his mother was one of his own children and not the mother to them all.

The ghoul looked for a distraction, he and the other delinquents forming some sort of garage band, and who knew they’d actually be good? But his distractions didn’t stop with the song writing and the vibration of a drumset beneath his fingertips, it fell into the arms of a Chosen Child not so up to his speed, not that he minded. He’d let his friends be the ones to shield him from the life he was subjected to at home, a family of sorts trying to raise the child who not only had to raise himself, but others.

He'd never looked for his father, assuming he'd split before his mother could ever look up after his birth, and even when the well spoken, gangly man who'd seemed to linger was said to father his little sister and brother didn't cross his mind. And even when he found out that the well spoken man was his own father, he crossed his existence from his mind. Anger bubbling over at the thought of Yacht parties and Jaguars while he and his family struggled to eat daily. He chose to keep him at arms length, that he didn't need him, his money or his other family, that is until his mother's demise. He'd come home to a sobbing eight-year-old, and stoic two-year-old watching their mother's lifeless body as he trotted around a private high school.

Kai tried his best to keep them afloat on his own, using his body, or selling drugs if he needed, but the eviction notice still came after long, and Kai found himself making a very embarrassing call to the older brother he never cared to acknowledge and making his way to the Korean hub of Agdoeg to start over, a new life...maybe. But even as things seemed to shape up, the teen’s discourse with his natural hunger came blindsiding after his break up. He’d found himself being consumed by the hunger of others out of inability to control his emotions as an adolescence. Where typing code and playing video games inside a corporate building only led to him moonlighting as a killer, an animalistic instinct taking over anytime he was rattled mentally. He’s struggling to control it now, choosing to starve most days, but starving....is proving more and more difficult.

INTERVIEW QUESTION (para sample): “Just run us through what happened that night”. - Officer

A smirk crawled across Kai's lips, he crossed his arms, tattoos on display. Chuckles fell from the expression as he cocked a brow. Were they that dumb? Thinking he'd speak on it just that easy, "Nothing." He said again, finding it comical how the officer's faces fell. They all sighed, he'd been in the interview room for hours now but he hadn't broke.

He'd been behind the scenes most of it, toggling through the camera's he hacked into to gain access , he watched the gangs every move, from the moment they entered the bank to the moment they crawled back through the ceiling. He'd been the one to turn the alarms off, disable the code needed to get into the vault and sat back and sipped a redbull as they cleaned out the safety deposit boxes.

"I was at home, with my....I wont say boyfriend, the whole night," the half ghoul gave them another smile, "I'll spare you the details, but we had nothing to do with anything, I haven't seen nothing, heard nothing or touched nothing so if you'd unlock these cuffs I'll make my way home, I do have work in the morning, dickheads."

[wheremytwinwatches]

[Where My Twin Watches]: Full Metal Alchemist Brotherhood Episode 21

Last time Papa Elric dropped by, Ed pulled an Igor, and the Elric Brothers set out to punch Truth in the face. Onwards!

At Central, Roy is not happy. Aw, come on dude. Riza thought you were dead, and it did kinda look like you were for a while. Don’t be so harsh on her. Havoc’s not letting Roy get away with that when he “abandoned his post”, Roy’s still in bad enough shape he can’t even yell at his subordinate properly. Riza just ignores Roy whining about wanting a private room with a hot nurse (stay strong, Riza) and argues that it’s easier to protect the wounded man-children in a single room. Which raises a good question: if they’re in such bad shape after Gluttony/Lust, why haven’t the Goths tried to finish the job? In the Underground Gear Room, Envy’s asking the same question to Bradley/Wrath, screaming about they should pay for killing Lust. Wrath just says that they can use Roy, but not if he’s dead. Right, he was a candidate… for “the portal” that Envy just mentioned? Hmmm. In any case, Wrath tells Envy to back off- [Wrath]: “Father wants me to handle him.” *camera pans over Papa Elric* Ok, is this the show “revealing” that Father and Papa Elric are the same person? I mean, beard! So, what’s the Blond Trio up to? [Al]: “What if my body’s started to rot?” Ah, back to the idea that Al’s body is in the Gate. That’s a good question - after all this time, is it being held in stasis or somehow protected from decay? Cue image-spot of Zombie Alphonse. Funny and disturbing. Ed’s back to hypothesising now, thinking that when they both worked on the Human Transmutation their spirits might have gotten “mixed up”. So… Ed’s been handling the biological components for Al’s body as well? Like Winry says, that’s a bit far fetched… but a comparative lack of nutrients would work as an explanation for why Ed’s vertically challenged. And Al does note that Ed sleeps a lot. Then again, he’s a teenage guy. In any case, that explanation will work for now, and give Ed an excuse in his never-ending argument with Winry against drinking milk. Pfft. Episode 21 - “Advance of the Fool” Back at the hospital, Fuery’s showing the Elric Brothers to Roy and Havoc’s room to pay their respects, and Fuery’s dropping off a present. Which turns out to be a map Riza uses to try and find that huge sigil they found in the white room. And whadya know, the Presidential Estate is in the radius! Now they’ve cottoned on to Bradley’s possible connection to the Goths (dudes, you have no idea), and can recognize how “odd” it is that Bradley killed Greed and his minions before they could be questioned. In any case, Command has definitely been infiltrated by the Goths at the very least, so they’ve gotta be careful. Roy… is pleased with this development. Here’s a guy who dreams of being the Fuhrer, and now he can achieve that goal and take down bad guys at the same time! I’m predicting that even if he gets that far, though, he’s gonna run screaming at the amount of paperwork. For now, it’s time for the Mustang Crew to work themselves ragged- [Havoc]: “Uhhhh, yeah, about that, Colonel?... I think you’re gonna haveta’ count me out. Your work requires legs… and I can’t feel mine.” No! Havoc… damn it buddy, you deserved better. Well, at least Roy’s able to walk, he’s taking some time in the waiting room to read (Riza standing vigilant and totally not reading over his shoulder, she swears) when a scruffy guy in a wrinkled suit plops down beside him. Oh hey, it’s the doc that chewed him out for Ross! [Doc]: “I got a sinking feeling when I heard you were the person that scorched that thing. Are you plotting something?” [Roy]: “You suspect a plot but you still ID’ed the “thing” as Maria Ross. Three cheers for old war buddies, huh?”

THANK you. Geez, I kept going on and on about the dental records and how Doc fit into all this, easy enough to ID someone when you’ve got the coroner in on the scheme. Not a happy accomplice though, he warns Roy that if he keeps pushing this someone’s gonna get hurt. Thanks for the warning, buddy. Bit late, though. Havoc’s having a smoke and talking about how his family owns a grocery store. At least he can take calls. Wait, hold on, Automail is totally a thing in this setting. Why not cyborg-Havoc? Ah. Automail still needs living nerves. Breda… is not very supportive? What the Leto, dude?! Wait wait wait, Breda’s passing on a note to Roy… ah. Doctor Marcoh with his vial of Philosopher’s Stone. Sorry guys, but last we saw he had a run-in with Lust. Don’t bother looking for him. Alright, what’s The Mighty Armstrong up to now?... Running into Brosh, and having a mental freakout over Ross saying to tell nobody that she’s still alive. Aw, hope Brosh gets to know that his partner’s still kicking at some point. For now, though, too much of a risk to spread the news, and Armstrong’s surprised by a paper Brosh hands off. An urgent bulletin for all State Alchemists? That night Ed and Al are prowling the streets, looking for a way down to the basement. The building they used the first time “totally doesn’t have one, we swear” even when the entrance was clearly Transmuted shut. What they do have is the comments about how they were sacrifice potential, determining that they’re looking for Alchemists who opened the Gate. So that’d be the two of them, Teacher… wait, hold on. They’ve said that Roy could work as a sacrifice before. Does that mean that he’s opened the Gate as well? Gotta set that idea aside for now, Brosh is running up to pass the bulletin to the Elric Brothers… and sounds panicked, saying they have to go back to their hotel room right now and he will escort them if needed. What’s going on? Oooh crap. Scar’s back in Central. Targeting State Alchemists, identifiable with his facial scar and tattoo on his right arm. Here we go. Hold up, they actually went back to the hotel? Huh, I was expecting Ed to just go tearing off after the guy who killed Winry’s parents. But actually, he goes back to tell Al about what he learned in Xerxes about the Rockbell medics, admit that he’s not certain, and confirm that neither of them plan on reopening the wound by telling Winry. Still, Ed plans to confront Scar once again, to find out if he did it. And another reason? Hold up, don’t tell me- [Ed]: “We’re gonna lure out the Homunculi.” NO. Are we actually gonna get Scar to join the good guys?!

(looked up Teeth-Clenched Teamwork, found the perfect picture) Ok, theory time! It hasn’t been absolutely confirmed that Scar killed the Rockbells’, just a guy with a tattooed arm. And Scar’s said that his own tattoo was left/given by his brother. So maybe it was Scar’s brother that killed them, then he ended up dying and Scar adopted the tattoo in memory of him? Setting that delicious opportunity aside for now, Ed’s gambling that with the Homunculi needing them alive for the sacrifice, they’ll step in to protect them if it looks like some Ishvalan that they failed to kill before looks like he’s gonna eliminate them. It’s one thing when it’s just one Potential Sacrifice, but it’s less likely they’ll just let half to two-thirds of their candidates get wiped out. [Ed]: “Well it’s much better than doing nothing!” [Al]: “Oh really? Because Scar literally tore us apart the last time.” Come on Al, this is Brotherhood. You two get shredded and dismantled every other episode. And you’ve got your mechanic a room over! You’ll be fine. Man, Al’s shredding Ed’s plan, arguing that even if they’ve gotten “stronger in the past few months” that if a Goth does show up how are they supposed to catch someone who’s super strong and pretty much can’t die- [Ling]: “Can’t die?! Was that hyperbole?”

...nO. You fools! You knew the Xing contingent were bumming around the place, why didn’t you lock the window?! Argh argh argh. Don’t let Ling in on this! I’m assuming Roy’s already explained how Lust was built around a Philosopher’s Stone to you two, and like rational ethical people you’ve already discounted human sacrificial Alchemy as a means to restore your bodies. But Ling here doesn’t have your scruples, he’s been vocally supportive of Soul Armor and now you’re letting him in on the Goths?! This cannot end well. Bleeeeeh ok whatever, we’ll cross that bridge when we get to it. For now, you’ve got the Prince and one of his ninjas on your side. And he totally promises not to run off with them (oh, there are so many ways that can be construed) because he owes them. Cue the bill for room service, and a very unhappy Ed defenestrating them. Cue a very unhappy Winry bursting in and yelling at them to shut up, she’s trying to sleep for an early morning… wait, she’s leaving?! Don’t go mechanic, we need you for the inevitable damage from fighting Scar/the Goths!... ok, does Winry use that wrench as a teddy bear, keep it inside her pillow, what? Hey Breda, how’s your pointless mission going? A ransacked room? No sign of the doc? Huh, I was actually expecting confirmation that he was dead, but there’s no body/gravestone. Damn it, we’re back to Havoc, finishing up a meeting with his mom and a Veteran’s Council officer. He’s out, and doesn’t take kindly to Roy’s “misplaced” pity. [Havoc]: “Forget about me… move on already! You don’t have time to worry about me! You need to think about the promise you made to General Hughes instead of pitying me! … Just let me get on with my life. I beg you.” [Roy]: “Alright. You’re cut loose.” Leto damn it. Havoc deserved better than thi- [Roy]: “I’ll leave you behind so you can catch up. I’ve gotta keep moving… but I’ll see you at the top.”

[Uplifting Music] As Roy leaves the room. Havoc sits back in shock as Riza talks about how Roy refuses to abandon others. Havoc says that Roy will never make it like that being so soft, that the country’s gonna chew him up. But Riza thinks maybe that’s what the country needs, a “fool” like that. Outside, Roy’s still in pain, but all too ready to change his hospital clothes for his uniform. Time to get back to to work. In the streets of Central-

Ok, what the heck happened to the artwork? We’ve got a shopkeeper complaining about his wrecked stand when Ed suddenly shows up all sparkles to fix everything… oh, I get it! May was traveling with Scar, so if he’s in Central, then she is too! Wait, no! Come on, that was just Ed going “Nyah nyah, I’m a State Alchemist” to try and draw out Scar? Boo, I want May to come back. Roy’s just showed up after reports of Ed being so theatrical, tells them to get in. Then get out when he has to share his seat with Al. Sorry little guy, maybe we can borrow The Mighty Armstrong’s car for these clandestine meetings? Doctor Marcoh’s confirmed missing, presumed abducted by the Goths. Also, about Scar being back? Roy is not happy to hear that Ed’s theatrics are meant to draw out Scar. Ed, you are in no position to mock Roy about being “scared of big, bad Scar”, although yeah maybe Roy could look into waterproof gloves next time? Speaking of, the Ishvalan’s here! Riza, don’t shoot, let’s talk this nope never mind Scar’s attacking. Ed charges and Al earthbends up a wall between them and the brawl, explaining Ed’s plan to draw out the Goths using Scar. As for the cops showing up? Well, Al assigns that to Roy. Onwards with the fisticuffs! Double Elric Attack as Al joins the fray, major props to Scar for not just holding out but advancing against two TC-free Alchemists! Roy and Riza head off to Fuery’s place to do their part, Ling and his ninja watch from the rooftops for any sign of the Goths. More earthbending as Al waves off some mooks from shooting Scar and Ed wonders where the heck the Goths are. Well at least Roy’s having fun playing with radios, sending conflicting reports on where Scar is. Don’t you frown Riza, come on and have some fun. Central’s in a tizzy over all the false calls for help… but Bradley’s on the move, ignoring everything as he gathers Gluttony to face the Ishvalan. Ling and Company pick up on the Goths and head out. Ed, your backup just split, stop acting as bait and end the fight! Yeesh that was close, but yay Ed just proved he can cancel out Scar’s Facegrab O’ Doom. And the process tear his sleeve and expose the tattoo… Gluttony’s chargi-

Denied! Lan Fan just knocked him into a building, and confirmed that she can sense and track his presence. No running from this battle, either Gluttony takes them down or he’s done for. But he’s not alone… [Bradley]: “So, you’re able to detect his presence, are you? *draws sword* Well that’s quite the nuisance. Let’s take care of it.” Holy Leto Ling doesn’t look goofy anymore, he just got an art upgrade as he yells at Lan Fan to run but Bradley’s already up the pipes and attacking her mask is shattered- Aaaand that’s where we end. RUDE. Hey, and Fan’s still out in the desert guiding Ross, so instead of all three Xing’s ganging up on Bradley it’s Ling and Lan Fan vs two Goths. The intro lied to me!

[goat-yells-at-everything]

Final Thoughts: The Witch

*SIGH*

I didn't hate it.

I wanted to hate it. I use to hate it.

I didn't hate it.

I didn't even hate William as a character as much as I use to. Still hate Ineson, though.

My Bias

Let me start off with my bias. If you couldn't tell by now, I love goats. What originally drew me to The Witch that day in Family Video (not sponsored) was, of course, the goat on the cover. After watching the movie I did some reading on it and the VAST majority of coverage about the movie was about Black Phillip. "Fine by me!" I thought. "I'd rather read about the only star that matters here anyway!"

And that's how I learned of Charlie. Charlie was a beautiful black buck with gorgeous piercing golden eyes. There isn't much base information about him but from my own research and knowledge, I beleive Charlie is an Old Irish. Funny enough, the striking horns that earned Charlie his place in the movie because of how large they were are not actually that big by Old Irish standards. These boys can grow some IMPRESSIVE racks. *cough* 

Charlie was not the most dedicated actor on set. If they wanted him to be boisterous and act aggressive, Charlie wanted to take a nap. If they wanted him to hold still and display the calm demeanor of The Devil, Charlie wanted to run around like a kid discovering his legs for the first time. This description didn't shock me in the least. "Thats...thats just a goat?" I thought. "Thats just how they ARE." Goats are like...well, goats are unique animals. While even a cat can be trained with enough patience and the right reward, goats are wonderfully intelligent and MIND NUMBINGLY STUPID animals all at the same time. You look into their eyes and you see the infinite knowledge of the universe AND the mindless empty void AT THE SAME TIME. That is just the nature of the domestic goat. So of course you will never have a goat do what you want it to on the first, second, or even tenth try. If you work with goats in any way, you just need to accept this.

So Charlie, this incredibly intelligent and extremely stupid animal, was on a set of a movie where He was the antagonist in the minds of the characters, actors, and crew. Charlie could have been just fine on the set if the actors had kept their animosity to filming sessions, and most of them did just that. Most of the actors and crew were, at worst, neutral towards Charlie when not actively filming a scene with him. Most of the actors.

Ineson was not among them. Ineson is quoted as saying "From the moment we set eyes on each other it was just kind of hate at first sight." Now, because of their vast infinite nothingness in their heads, goats really aren't capable of "hate at first sight," but they CAN sense animosity from others towards them. Like when your cat knows that your dad hates cats. They just know. So you have an incredibly intelligent moron that weighs just over 200lbs looking at this imposing angry man that was Ralph Ineson and he knows the man does not like him and Ineson has decided that every action Charlie makes is just to spite him, specifically.

It was not the best paring...

By the 4th day of filming, Ineson reported that he was on pain killers for the remainder of the 5-week shoot.

The thing was, the rest of the actors and crew (aside from Eggers but he was trying to direct a goat in a movie so he gets a little leeway) actually recall how sweet and wonderful Charlie was. Anya Taylor-Joy has said that the shoot was a "beautiful" experience. Anna Kilch, a veteran animal trainer, said Charlie was a dream to work with.

So I'm not the biggest fan of Ineson...

The Movie

With that said, what did I think about the movie?

It was...not horrible. In fact, if I put aside my own animosity towards Ineson, it was pretty ok. There are PROBLEMS, no doubt about that, but it was decent.

The Good

The atmosphere was beautiful. It was shot in a quaint little bit of nowhere in Northern Ontario. Pretty sure they put a blue filter over everything but it really did work. It muted all the color and made it all very dreary and damp feeling. In most other situations this would be a major detriment but the overall feeling of hopelessness from the characters was perfectly accented by the misty and drab landscape.

The characters....there were problems but I'll touch on that later. What I liked was how they represented the Deadly Sins.

William is pretty clear. He is the Sin of Pride. It was his pride that had them exiled from their settlement. It was his pride that caused him to lie and steal from his own family. It was his pride that kept his family in a place that was blighted and would not produce anything. It was his pride that made him refuse to see Black Phillip for what he was.

Katherine was also very clear. She is the Sin of Wrath. Her anger at Thomasin for the loss of her infant blinded her to everything around here. It blinded her to Thomasin's innocence. It blinded her to her other childrens sins. It blinded her to how hard Thomasin worked to regain her mothers favor. And, eventually, it blinded her to the avatars of the devil that came to her that dark night.

Caleb, again, very clear. He is the Sin of Lust. Caleb was a bright young boy who was dedicated to and dearly loved his family. He loved one family member a little too much. Caleb lusted after his elder sister. That lust eventually lead him into the arms of the titular Witch as she seduced him with her HUGE....tracks of land... c:

Mercy and Jonas are harder to pin down. Eventually I settled on Envy and Sloth respectively, though I'm not 100% sold on them. Jonas I'm a bit more sure on. His character is fairly one note and all about shirking any work his elder sister tries to give him. I settled for Envy for Mercy mostly because of the scene near the creak. She seemed to envy the attention her father and elder brother gave to Thomasin. Neither one are very strong connections though.

Thomasin didn't really show a sign of a serious sin until the very end. Actually, she almost seemed to embody ALL of the sins in the end after being almost pure as snow for the whole movie. Almost. She displayed minor sins throughout the movie but it made her a believable character. She was a young woman, somewhere between 14 and 16 I'd say. She got angry at her siblings, she wasn't totally focused on her chores, the normal teenage stuff.

However, by the end of the movie, Thomasin displayed nearly all 7 Sins. She was wrathful towards her father. She was greedy for her mothers love. Black Phillip's offers display Gluttony (Butter) and Envy (the Dress). She was certain that she was right in all of her actions, blinded by Pride. She was apathetic once her family were all dead, leaving them all to rot in the elements as she wallowed in self pity. And finally she disrobed and frolicked with the devil in her Lust.

The Bad

Oh yes was there bad.

The sound direction was OBJECTIVELY horrible. What should have been ambient sound effects were too loud, the dialog was WAY too soft, the music was all over the place. It fell well into that nasty hole that Horror has of turning all the sound to soft and quiet before hitting you with a sudden jolt as the action jumps to life. When used well, this can elicit a visceral feeling in the viewer that lets them connect with the urgency of the scene. When used wrong, its just a cheep tactic to get a scare just like jump scares. This REALLY needs to be called out more often in Horror. We all denounce jump scares as cheep and over used and we need to do the same for the auditory equivalent.

The dialog was really hard to understand. I understand the choice considering the setting, but it was the biggest wall that kept me from enjoying anything the first time around. By the nature of Old Low English, words would blend into one another and become almost gibberish. Its a very lovely language to read, but a chore to listen to. I put on subtitles this time around and was able to follow the story much more easily. I would absolutly advise putting on subtitles while watching it.

The ending was the weakest part of the movie aside from the sound issues. I mean the very last scene. Everything leading up to that was actually very well done. The way Thomasin goes to Black Phillip and demands he talk to her. The way he offers her everything she could ever want. How you see both the hope and defeat in Thomasin when Black Phillip began to talk to her. It was clear he was the one who set in motion the cogs that ended with her families death but they were all victims of their own sins in the end. She saw his power over their insignificant lives and was crushed by his seeming superiority to the Lord she had been raised to love. At the same time, she saw the power he could bestow on HER, a clear tangible power unlike the "story" of Heavenly Power that she never saw physical examples of.

To end on the scene of this naked woman, no longer the innocent girl burdened by heavy trappings of modesty, walking into the woods with the black billygoat hot on her heals would have been so powerful. Just cut to black right there. You can even still have the witches chanting as it cuts to black and the end credits fade in.

But they decided to take it one step further and it did NOT help the ending. It was just too over the top with the naked women writhing erotically around this fire. When the camera turns back on Thomasin and she begins writhing and moaning and laughing and you see her rise into the air, maybe its just me but it took away the power of that sure confident woman walking into the woods.

It just feels like a step too far and would have been much stronger if they'd just left that part out.

The G.O.A.T

The best part was still Charlie.

Black Phillip, Black Phillip

A crown grows out his head,

Black Phillip, Black Phillip

To nanny queen is wed.

Jump to the fence post,

Running in the stall.

Black Phillip, Black Phillip

King of all.

Black Phillip, Black Phillip

King of sky and land,

Black Phillip, Black Phillip

King of sea and sand.

We are ye servants,

We are ye men.

Black Phillip eats the lions

From the lions' den.

[icancorruptyou]

Holding Morgana close, running his thumbs back and fourth over the soft fabric of her clothing he listened. Closing his eyes and taking in the scent of her hair and perfume he tried to picture what she was describing. Morgana was talking in short sentences as if she was being cut off by more flashbacks. As much as he felt like it was a gift to be able to share who his wife was and how special she was and why he had been so obsessed and entranced by her spell for so long. His younger girlfriend was one of the few people who could see what he had seen, sure the eldest children still remebered her but they had their own vision. Back when his wife was alive there wasn't camera to capture the moment, every event was viewed through an individual lens, the woman in his arms could see the events for what they really were. "Morgana had a brutal beauty, a fire so bright and fierce that..." he spoke as he took in a deep breath from his nose "it almost feels ridiculous to think that someone could burn so wildly and live longer than she did" he gulped as he held his partner in a strange kind of joint grief.

"Morgana and my actions, the things we got up to... back then" he took another deep breath as he searched for the right words "we were like two prisoners set free, we were already damned, when everyone believes your guilty before you commit the crime then... why not just commit the crime" he shook his head as he rested his head against hers. Kissing Morgana back he brushed a strand of her hair away from her face and held the side of her jaw in his hand. "I have been sleeping for centuries, or maybe it just feels like it, you were the only one to wake me. I will be forever grateful for that, looking into your eyes feels so indulgent, holding you in my arms feels like gluttony. I hope I can give you even just a fraction of the joy and comfort you bring me Morgana" he expressed softly as the rain fell around them, trickling down the shelter of the gazebo.

Christmas thread- meeting the family.

It was Christmas Day, Loki had been preparing for this day for months. The massive tree in the Victorian building was tastefully decorated and the presents were plentiful taking up the whole area of the front of the room stacked on top of one another. Music was playing and cars were parked up the driveway leaving just enough to walk up to the door. Loki had been checking his phone, his family knew that Loki was bringing his girlfriend, he has told them all about her but it was new to her that Loki was more than just a man or a professor. In fact the last time he had saw her she had been still quite shocked and coming to terms with who Loki was. His phone went off and Loki checked it, Morgana was here. He bit his lip and made his way to the door and walked down the path to meet her. Loki was wearing black trousers, a black Christmas jumper with Norse symbols on it. His long hair was tied up but hung straight down his back. His heart pounded as he looked around and saw his girlfriend. "You came" he smiled, greatful to see her once again after everything.

@sorceress-queen

[carmillatranscripts]

The Carmilla Movie

Air date: October 25, 2017

Length: 1:34:27

We open with static, which disappears to be replaced by Laura against a plain white background.

Laura: Okay!  Don’t know how many of you are new, and how many of you have been with us from the start, but I am Laura Hollis.  Yes, the Laura Hollis, who recently got famous, or “internet famous”, because my university pals and I vlogged ourselves saving the world.

Brief footage from 3x33, of Dean!Perry opening the Gates of Hell

Laura: See, back in my freshman year, we discovered that our Austrian university was actually being run by an evil dean and her vampire cult.  Naturally.  They’d been sacrificing girls to this monstrous creature under the campus, and I was next.  Really should’ve gone to that safety school.  Anyway, the Dean sent ... Carmilla,

Footage from 1x2

Carmilla: I’m your new roommate, sweetheart.

Back to Laura

Laura: A 300-year-old vampire with a checkered past and centuries worth of victims to kidnap me.

We see Laura and Carmilla kissing from season 3

Laura: There was just one small snag with that plan.  (back to Laura) Carm and I fell in love.  Carm turned her back on the evil dean, and with a little help from our friends: LaF, Perry, Kirsch, Mel, and Danny, we saved the school!  And the world.  For stopping the apocalypse, Carm earned herself a magical human life.  A vampire no more.

Footage of Laura discovering Carmilla’s heartbeat at the end of 3x36

Laura: A chance to start again, and leave the crimes of her past behind.  And for us to figure out ... whatever happens next.

New scene.  Exterior: An old manor, on a stormy day.

We see Laura, waking up inside the manor, dressed in 19th century clothes, lying on a couch.  She gets up.

Laura: Okay ... weird.  (looks at her clothing) Old-timey and weird.

Laura notices a mirror and looks into it.  She does not see her own reflection, instead, she sees another woman, dressed as she is, copying her moves.  A door creaks open, and Laura turns towards it

Laura: Hello?  Ghost-lady?

Suddenly, a woman dressed all in black, with a veil over her face, appears behind Laura, and taps her shoulder.  Laura runs in fear out the room and down some stairs, looking behind her.  At the foot of the stairs, she runs into the same mysterious woman.  The woman lifts her veil, reveiling herself to be Carmilla.

Carmilla: You’re wearing my broach.

Laura: Carm!

Carmilla: Did I scare you, my pet?

Laura: You think?  Sneaking around, dressed like Lizzie Borden?  Wait, why are you dressed like Lizzie Borden?

Carmilla: You mustn’t be afraid

Laura: Why would I be afraid?

Carmilla: We shall die, as lovers may ... (Carmilla kisses Laura) Die together, so that we may live together.

Carmilla’s fangs appear, and she bites Laura, drinking from her, Laura looking terrified

Suddenly the scene changes, and we see Laura waking up from a nightmare, her head on Carmilla’s lap.

Carmilla: Welcome back, creampuff.

Laura (moving up from Carmilla’s lap to lay her head on Carmilla’s hsoulder, we hear screams and chainsaw sounds from a TV offscreen) I think your horror movies are giving me nightmares

Carmilla: Oh, well, life’s rough like that sometimes.

The camera zooms out, giving us a broader view of the living room

Carmilla: Come on!  How long does it take to kill one limping teenager?  Is this guy on a coffee break?  (to Laura) So, what happened?  Did you get scooped up by that talking goat again?

Laura: No, I dreamed you were a vampire.  (Sitting up)  It was very ... blast-from-your-gothic-horror-past.  There was this old house, and then you ... well, you were actually kinda scary

Carmilla (concerned): Did I hurt you?

Laura: In a dream.  Come on, it was probably a ... subconscious fascination with Victorian murders.  Or, uh ... corests.

Carmilla: Mmm!  Well, no need to go digging around in the past.  We have it much better now.

Laura: No arguments here.  (looks at TV) So long, hammer horror!  (to Carmilla) Hello, rom-com

They start to kiss, when suddenly a loud scream and chainsaw sounds come from the TV.  Carmilla turns off the TV, and they begin kissing, and we fade out to the opening credits

New scene: Another dream sequence, Laura’s running in fear through the same mansion as before.  She opens a door and sees Carmilla being placed in the coffin of blood, she closes it and keeps running, opening another door where we see Carmilla covered in blood 

Laura wakes up, breathing hard.  She’s in bed next to Carm.  She kisses Carm’s forehead and gets up.  We see her making coffee and pouring it into her Tardis mug.  She snaps her fingers to wake herself up and sits down in front of her laptop.

Laura (with exaggerated enunciation): How now, brown cow?  How now, brown cow?

She turns on the laptop, and we see her from the POV of her laptop, with a “Laura Hollis” logo in the lower left corner.

Laura: Happy anniversary, faithful viewers!  I know!  Iknowiknowiknow I’m behind in my posts, but, I would never miss this!  Because 5 years ago, today, (copy of the Voice of Silas on screen with headlines “Students Save Austria From Apocalypse” and “Girls  Sacrificed to Giant Anglerfish!”) a ragtag bunch of undergraduates stopped the dean of their evil university from unleashing Hell on Earth!  Or, mostly stopped.  You can’t really blame us for Antarctica.  And where are they now, you might ask?  Well, let’s check in with a very special 5-year retrospective.

Laura looks off to the side with a dramatic gesture.  And then her face turns neutral

Laura (mumbling): And then we will cut to ...

Super cheesy graphics with phrases like “tiny, gay and mighty” and “Hollis Five Year Retrospective”

Back to Laura narrating

Laura: First up is LaFontaine and Perry who, as you’ll recall, transferred to Occult Studies at Berkley and then started LaFerry Industries, where they’ve been revolutionizing life for the supernatural with products such as their Hemo-Soy vegan vampire sumplements ever since.  They’ve got this huge meeting with a megacoporation that wants to buy their start-up.  I’m so proud!  Speaking of super-successful people, you guys remember Danny?  My Lit TA, turned stalwart ally, turned repentant vampire?  Has turned into ... a vampire rights advocate.  And, what retrospective would be complete without a look at how Mel and Kirsch and I leveraged our coverage of the almost-apocalypse into a career in local news?  And, if you’re morbidly curious, here are some clilps!

Clip 1, Laura in front of a flower shop, with “Luane Horlis Reporting Live” at the bottom fo the screen

Laura: Today, we explore the fast-paced world of floral arrangements.

Clip 2, Laura on another street, in front of a bakery, with the name “Lauren Horley”

Laura: Cranberry bannock

Clip 3, another street, name displayed as “Laura “The Puff” Hollis”

Laura: Ceramic cephalopod

Back to Laura’s narration

Laura: So, yeah.  Not quite achieved Lois Lane-dom.  But never fear!

Laura runs off screen, and comes back with a big board with various goals on it

Laura: It is all part of my 5-year plan!

Some of the goals are marked with stars, and others with X’s.  Some are sensible goals like “Meet Christiane Amanpour” or “200 hours volunteering in the library”, while others are nerdy, like “Buffy marathon with Carmilla”.  Laura looks wistfully at he board for a moment and then pulls herself away

Laura: Yeah, um, after Carm and I took our glorious gap year, it was time to start real life.  We moved town to TO, I finished my degree, stuck my foot in the door, now I’m just waiting for my big break!  Busting open some huge Woodward-and-Bernstein-style scandal and being moved up to the city desk.  Admittedly, I have been waiting a while for that one.  But, uh, you know ,that’s what you do in life.  You pay your dues.  Unless you’re a former vampire with 300 years of sunshine and culinary history to catch up on.  So, what has our Carm been up to as a living, breathing, human?

[Scene of Carmilla walking around in broad daylight]

Laura: She’s definitely taking advantage of ye old vampire trust fund.

[Carmilla walking out of a bakery with a pastry]

Laura: Bakery-based gluttony, check.

[Carmilla lying out in a bikini on a patio in the sun]

Laura: Sun-tanning sloth, check.

[Laura in front of a computer, eating a strawberry, Carmilla comes by and takes a bit of the strawberry with a seductive look at Laura]

Laura: I-have-a-pulse-now lust ... well ... actually I can’t complain about that last one [Laura and Carmilla exit scene]

Back to Laura narrating

Laura: Yeah.  Unless you count starring in my spooky dreams, it’s been a bit more pastry than purpose lately.  But!  Today’s retrospective is all about perspective.  We are going to get our heroine back on track.  But, where to start such a conversation?  Where else?  [Laura pulls a cake into camera view]  With desert!

Carmilla walks in

Carmilla: Mmm ... have you been baking?

Laura: Happy rebirthday! [kisses carmilla several times]  It’s, um ... like a ... like a birthday, but for your rebirth.  Because, five years ago, you got a life.  Not like 90s ‘get a life’, but you know, um, literally.

Carmilla: Hmm, how very Lewis Carol.

[Carmilla turns the webacm off and closes the laptop]

Laura: So ... speaking of five years, I was thinking that we could talk about five years in the other direction.  [Carmilla looks faintly exasperated]  Cause you’ve been through a lot.  Not just Silas, but death.  And the French Revolution.  So, it’s completely understandable that you’re feeling a little lost

Carmilla: Lost?

Laura: Okay, maybe not lost, but maybe a little ... aimless?

Carmilla: Laura, are you staging an intervention because you think I’m wasting my life?

Laura: No!  [Carmilla gives her a look like “really?”]  Maybe.  It’s just ... you aren’t immortal anymore.  And I know that you want to make the most of our lives together, but -

Carmilla: Is there something wrong with those lives being fun?

Laura: No!  But I think it’s possible to have fun and ...

Carmilla: And did I go to that supernatural therapist?

Laura: One time.  You siad you couldn’t take advice from someone born after the moon landing.

Carmilla:  Mm-hmm, and do I pester you because you’d rather spend your days in a news cubicle instead of on a beach in the South of France?

Laura: No, you don’t.  It’s just ...

Carmilla: It’s just, you like making plans.  And I love that about you.  But, I don’t know, it’s my rebirthday, so ... I want to spend it enjoying our lives.  Preferably [wipes a bit of chocolate icing on Laura’s lip] somewhere with a patio and an extensive wine selection?  [they kiss]  And chocolates

They wander off-screen together, tightly embracing, the camera zooms in on the cake; Carmilla runs back on camera to blow out the candles, and then they both leave the scene again.

Several city scenes, a sunset, night time, then back to their home.  Carmilla’s in bed already, and Laura puts some moisturizer on her hands.  They snuggle together on the bed.  Laura falls asleep, and it’s another dream sequence.  She’s in bed, and she sees Carmilla crouched at the foot of the bed.  In the background is a painting of Carmilla.

Laura: Carm?

Carmilla: Shhh.  You’re dreaming.

Laura turns on a lamp, and Carmilla winces, covering her eyes

Laura: Oh.  Right.

Carmilla crawls onto the bed towards Laura, in a scene shot to resemble a famous illustration from the original publication of Carmilla

Carmilla: You are mine.  You shall be mine.  You and I are one, forever.

Laura: Something tells me I’m gonna like this dream.

Carmilla strokes Laura’s face, and then her fangs appear, and she bites Laura.  Laura’s eyes snap wide open.  She’s back in the real world now, and the real Carmilla is biting her neck.

Laura: Carm!  What are you doing?!  [pushes Carmilla off her, Carmilla hisses, her fangs exposed]  Carm!  Hey!  Hey!  It’s me!  It’s me!  [snaps her fingers]

Carmilla comes to, and looks horrified

Carmilla: Laura, your neck!  Oh, God!  [she moves towards Laura, and Laura backs up, still afraid; Carmilla pulls back, looking completely horrified]

Laura: What is going on?

New scene: Back in the living room.  Carmilla’s sitting in a chair with some kind of electrodes on her forhead.  LaF and Perry are there.  LaF is holding some kind of electronic tablet, while Perry has some notes in front of her.  Laura is standing watching, with bandaids on Carmilla’s bite mark

Perry: Have you been in close proximity to any vampires or vampire by-products in the past two or three months?

Carmilla: Oh, you mean when a Sumerian goddess turned me again last week?  Must’ve slipped my mind.

Perry: I see that sarcasm hasn’t suffered.

Laura: Thanks for taking some time out of your meeting prep to help us.

LaF: For you guys?  Anything.

Perry: Of course!  We’re probably over-prepared.

LaF: Something’s definitely off with Carm.

LaF’s scanning her with their robot eye, we see various graphs and the like, a light glowing above Carmilla’s chest, and the words “lifeforce: flickering”, among others

Laura: For those of us without a fancy cyborg eye?

LaF: Right.  Um, this is Carm [LaF turns their pad around for Laura and Perry to see; it shows an abstract form of a female body, with a glow in the chest]  And she’s, well, dead, except ...

Perry: Except, the resurrection spell is still running inside her, making her a living human

LaF: It makes her heart beat, hair grow, and all the other things a regular human body does

Laura: Yeah, like a magic battery

Carmilla: I thought we agreed we wouldn’t call it that.

LaF: My vote’s still with life-force

Carmilla: No, that’s even worse!

Perry: Oh!  What about her, um, what about your spark?

LaF: Hmm, it does work pretty much like an ignition

Perry: Spark it is!  Spark, spark, spark!

Carmilla: I hope you’re enjoying yourselves.

LaF: Uh ... Carmilla’s spark is ... going out.

Laura: What’s wrong with it?

LaF: It’s producing a sort of electrical discharge that’s making it flicker, and, since it’s what’s keeping her human, when it flickers, she ...

Laura: Vamps out.

Laura sighs and sits down

Carmilla: Okay, so ... how do we get my .... spark to stop flickering?

LaF: We’ll have to run some more tests.

Laura: And in the meantime, Carm just keeps randomly vamping out?  What are we supposed to do about that?

Perry pulls out a bunch of garlic.  Carmilla sighs.

Montage of scenes, mimicking the ones earlier where Laura was talking about Carmilla’s “aimlessness”, but twisted.  First we see Carmilla lying out on the patio, but instead of enjoying the sun, she’s trying to cover up, with a bottle of hemo-soy beside her, then we see her biting a strawberry that Laura was eating, but accidentally biting her hand, then we see her drinking a squirrel’s blood at the same place we saw her getting a pastry before

Then we see their bedroom again.  Cloves of garlic in the foreground.  Carmilla’s lying on the bed, looking sad.

Laura (applying moisturizer): [Unclear dialogue, something about Mel?] ... Kirsch, of course, is jazzed, like ‘Oh, there’ll be blueberry pie, right?  I’m into the bluebs”, and then to top it all off, I get to the fridge, and it’s just ... Carm?  You okay?

Carmilla: Sure.  Just grappling with an aversion to daylight and cravings for blood.

Laura: Hey, LaF is going to figure something out.

Carmilla: I know.  It’s just ... this was supposed to be done.  You know?  The bloodlust, the self-loathing.  The sleeping tied to a chair in my own bedroom.

Laura: That one might be overkill.  You’ve never had a problem controlling yourself before.  [Carmilla nods]  Unless you count dream-Carm chasing me through discount Transylvania all “you are mine, you shall be mine”

Carmilla: Wait ... what did you just say?

Laura: “You are mine, you shall be mine, you and I are one forever”

Carmilla gets up and runs into the living room, searching through the bookshelves

Laura: Carm, what is going on?  It was just some silly Dracu-poetry my brain coughed up for atmosphere [Carmilla opens up a chest]  What are you looking for?  [Carmilla takes out a book from the chest, looking through it, and finding a photograph, which she shows Laura.  It’s the mansion from her dreams]  That house!

Carmilla: This is where Elle and I lived.  Is this the manor in your dreams?

New scene; Laura, Carmilla, Mel, Kirsch, LaF, and Perry are all in a park

Perry: So, this place Laura’s been dreaming about, the manor, it’s real?

Carmilla: Not just the manor.  

Laura: Carm thinks that, from what I’m describing, the house, the clothes, what she says, that I’m dreaming things that really happened.  [Perry and LaF look thoughtful] .... A hundred and fifty years ago [Mel and Kirsch look thoughtful] ... to Elle.  

Perry, LaF, and Mel all look at Laura shocked; Kirsch has no reaction, he notices everyone else’s reaction

Kirsch: Am I supposed to know who Elle is?

LaF: Elle?  The girl Carm turned on her mother and stopped being evil for?

Kirsch: That wasn’t Laura?

Perry: Carmilla’s epic first love?

Kirsch: Also not Laura?

Laura: Remember first year at Silas, those weird dreams I was having?

Kirsch: Only those weren’t dreams!  They were warnings from Carm’s ... [look of realization]

Mel: So, you think the dreams are from Elle?  Didn’t she, like, sparkle off into floaty white nothingness after Carmilla killed the giant anglerfish god?  ... How is that a sentence I ended up saying?

Laura: Only one way to find out.  We go back to the scene of the crime.

LaF: If it’s ghosts, we can test out the new spectrometer.

The conversation fades out, as Carmilla starts staring at Laura’s neck, the sound of pumping blood; Laura turns to Carmilla

Laura: Carm?

Carmilla shakes her attention off Laura’s neck.

Carmilla: Yeah ... I’m gonna go crack another bottle of hemo-soy

Carmilla gets up.  Laura, Mel, and Kirsch look at each other.  Laura gets up and follows Carmilla

Laura: Hey.  Sorry about the whole “scene of the crime” thing.  I know what happened between you and Elle was complicated, and I shouldn’t’ve said that.

Carmilla: No.  Scene of the crime is exactly what it is.  You saw those dreams.  You know I ... hurt her.  Hurt you.

Laura: You didn’t mean to.  Maybe there’s a silver lining in all this.  If this is Elle trying to warn us about something, maybe you can ... help her?

Carmilla: I’m done being a vampire.  I’m done dredging up the past.  I’m done with ... well-meaning therapists saying “close your eyes and think of those you’ve wronged, while I light up this funky incense”, and ...

Laura: That’s right.  We have plans.  And goals.  And a color-coated chart [Carmilla smiles, laughing softly] None of which features some mystery from your past stealing the life that you earned.  So, we are going to figure out who or what is doing this, and then we are going to -

Carmilla (looking way too cheerful): Gruesomely murder them?

Laura: Stop them.  (Carm rolls her eyes)  We’re going back to Styria!

Transition scene; cheesy image of a world map, showing their flight, with voiceovers

Kirsch: Where are we going?!

Laura: Styria!

Kirsch: Why are we going?

Laura: To stop Carm from re-vamping!

Kirsch: Okay, but really, why go back to the bad place with the monsters?

Laura: Because of Elle’s manor?  It’s in my dream, it’s all connected?  And it’s our only lead!

Montage of various foods

Kirsch: Oooh, schnitzel ...

New scene; all six walking dramatically along a path, looking determined, then the music stops, and they’re all looking exhausted

Kirsch: How much further till we get to this place?

Carmilla: It’s just ...

Laura (dropping her bag): Right around the corner

Laura and Carmilla walk towards the manor, ahead of the rest

Kirsch: Oh, yeah, it’s cool, Laura!  I got your bag!  Yeah.

Laura: You don’t have to do this if you don’t want.  You can just stay here if it’s too much.

Carmilla: Hmm.  And leave you alone to explore the mystery mansion?  Hard pass.

Laura and Carmilla walk up to the entrance.  We see a brief glimpse of someone in an upstairs window

Laura and Carmilla enter the manor; we see them entering from inside the building; on the wall in the foreground is a portrait of the same woman Laura saw in the mirror in her dream

Laura (entering the manor with Carmilla): Hello?

They look at each other, and continue in.  Carmilla’s attention is drawn to the portrait for a long moment.

Kirsch: Hello?  Knock-knock?  Elle’s manor’s pretty cool!

Mel: I guess.  If you dig the Harenhal vibe.  Hello?  Anybody?

LaF: I’m calling it.  This place is totally haunted.

Perry: You don’t know that.  Maybe it’s just ... creaky.  It’s a lovely example of a 19th century schloss.

Kirsch: Heh, schloss.

Laura: This is exactly like my dream.  Beautiful.  I mean, abandoned and dusty, but beautiful.

Perry (putting rubber gloves on): Well, we can deal with the dust.

Mel: Tell me you did not bring an entire bag of cleaning supplies?

Perry: Of course I did!  Do you know what dust does to expensive equipment?

LaF: We have EMF detectors, geiger counters, various spectrometers

Mel: You didn’t think maybe we’d need some actual weapons?

LaF: Well, knowledge is really the best -

Mel (pulling out a crossbow): I’m pretty sure weapons are the best weapon.  Look at this princess.  Carbon-fiber lens, 80-pound drawweight, capable of shooting 160 feet per second. I call her, Gertrude.

Perry: How excessive

Mel: Excessive?  Do you remember senior year?  You were possessed by Carmilla’s mom, the evil god who forced the entire student body, including me, to dig a pit to the literal gates of hell, or how about that time LaFontaine got brain-sucked by the giant anglerfish monster?  Or how about that time that the evil baron tried to execute Carmilla?  Or that time that Laura sorta, kinda, I don’t know, died?

Kirsch: We do have a lot of back-story.

Sounds of thunder and strange crashing noises, spooking everyone

Perry: Fine, fine, haunted.

Mel (to Laura and Carmilla): Tell me at least you two packed some heat?

Carmilla heads over to look at the portrait in the hall

Laura: Uh, I know krav maga.  I am a weapon.  I brought walkie-talkies and flashlights for everyone.  There’s no cell service out here, they’re gonna come in handy!

Carmilla’s approaching the portrait slowly

Mel (off screen): How ‘bout you, Jughead?  [sound of a beer can opening]  Oh, Vincent van Bro brought beer.

Mel looks over at Carmilla and turns to Laura

Mel: Is that her?

Laura: Yeah.  [long pause]  Let’s search this place!

Mel: For a ... girl who died 150 years ago?

LaF: Better not keep her waiting.

We see a sequence of search scenes, first Mel and Kirsch looking in a room with flashlights, then Perry and LaF with flashlights and EMF detectors, then we see Laura and Carmilla entering a room.  Laura sees the portrait of Carmilla that was in the background of one of her dreams.  The portrait is lying on the floor, slashed.  Laura picks it up.

Laura: Is that you?

Carmilla: It was.

We switch to LaF and Perry

Perry: We should be safe to push the meeting to next week, don’t you think?

LaF: Do we have to talk about this right now?

Perry: Single most important meeting of our professional careers?

LaF: Perr, we are searching a haunted castle for ghosts.  This is literally the reason we started the company.

Perry: But if we had more resources, then -

LaF: Hold on, I think I’ve got a hit!  Nah, it’s gone now.

Perry: Well, now, see, as part of Intrigue, we’d have all the equipment, we could scan the house in like two seconds.

LaF: Yeah, I get it.  But we’re not selling out right this second, so can we focus on the task at hand?  Let’s check out the next room.

They leave the room. The door closes, revealing a ghost in 19th century clothing.

We’re back to Laura and Carmilla

Laura: Looking forward to seeing her?  Elle, I mean?  Wouldn’t blame you if you were

Carmilla: Honestly, I’d rather not.  I mean, what am I supposed to say?  “Sorry I lied to you and sacrificed you to a giant fish-monster”?  I doubt there’s a hallmark card.

Laura (walks over to Carm, and strokes her hair): It wasn’t all your fault.

We switch back to Mel and Kirsch.  Something moves in the foreground, and Kirsch spins around to look at it, but it’s gone before a clear sight can be made.  Mel raises her crossbow as they both back up.  Kirsch backs up into another ghost, and starts screaming.

We get back to Laura and Carmilla.  Laura’s walkie-talkie beeps.

Laura: Told her these were gonna come in handy

Kirsch (over walkie-talkie): Ghosts!  The schloss is full of ghosts!

Laura and Carmilla look at each other.  And suddenly another ghost shows up.  They start running.

Laura: Ghosts!  Ghosts!  Everyone, come on!

LaF: Haunted house!  Totally called it!

Perry: Run, weirdo!

Everyone’s running towards the front door.  Laura and Carmilla reach it first, but the door won’t open.  It’s completely stuck.

Laura: It’s stuck!

The ghosts continue to approach them.  They run to another room, running into another locked door, the ghosts surrounding them.  They turn to face the ghosts, who’ve stopped right in front of them.

Laura: Um ... hi.  I’m Laura.  These are my friends.  And we’d be thrilled if you’d abandon your plans to gruesomely murder us.

One of the ghosts, Emily, speaks

Emily: Hello, Miss Karnstein.

Carmilla (confused):  Hello?  Wait ... I know you.  How do I know you?

Emily (turning to another ghost, Charlotte): Oh, dear.  Well, this is awkward.  We imagined you’d recall ...

Charlotte: Killing us.  I’m Charlotte.  This is my sister Emily.

Laura: Carmilla killed you?

Emily: Oh, no, not quite, exactly.  Her mother did the actual deed.

Laura: You’re the girls who were sacrificed to the Deep One.

Lightning.  We pan over the various ghosts.

Charlotte; Yes.  We are the victims of Carmilla Karnstein.

Emily: And we’d like to invite you to a dinner.

New scene.  Dinner table, a roast pig in the center of the table.  Emily and Charlotte are at the ends of the table.  One side are Carmilla, Laura, and Kirsch, with Perry, LaF, and Mel on the other.  Kirsch is eagerly digging in, while the others seem more suspicious

Emily: It’s wonderful that you’ve all been able to join us.  And, naturally, we’re so glad you’ve arrived in time.

Charlotte: We’ve been waiting for weeks.

Laura: For us?

Emily: For Miss Karnstein.  We hoped once she realized what had happened she’d return

Mel: Hold up.  Did you just confess to flipping the vampire switch on our girl Carm here?

Emily: Oh!  Goodness, no, we couldn’t have.  What little research we have been able to perform suggests it was Miss Karnstein’s life-force that pulled us into the physical world.  Until a few weeks ago, we were trapped in a nightmare land, doomed to endlessly repeat our greatest regrets.

LaF: This nightmare afterlife, is it more of a Jungian unconscious, or a “Through the Looking Glass” style situation?

Perry: Stop that!  It’s not polite to pry into other people’s unspeakable suffering.

Laura: Why would you be connected to Carmilla’s human life?

Emily: Ah, w-we think it ... might be ... because  ... it was Miss Karnstein who ...

Charlotte: She’s the reason we died

Carmilla looks uncomfortable.

Emily: Yes.  The family here offered my sister and I a place to lodge

Charlotte: They neglected to mention the vampire cult

Mel: Same thing happened with my college acceptance letter

Laura: Y-you said you knew the family.  Does that mean you knew Elle?

Both Emily and Charlotte look confused

Carmilla: Miss Sheridan.

Emily: Ah, yes.  We knew her.

Laura: But she isn’t here with you?

Charlotte: No.  She isn’t with us.

Emily: But, we’re thrilled that you are!

Carmilla (sighs and puts down her wine glass): Okay, that’s it.  What’s with the Stepford act?   I got you and your sister killed

Emily: Yes, but you’re here now.  And according to this spell book, we need you, Carmilla, here to perform the ritual that will let us move on.

Perry: I don’t ... suppose I could take a crack at deciphering the book?

Emily: Oh, please, do.  I’ve deciphered what I can, but I’m hardly an adept.  Ah, from what I can tell, if we move on, your vampire symptoms will go away.  I assume that’s why you’ve come?  Haven’t you?  Because otherwise you’d be trapped here with us forever?

New scene: The gang is in a bedroom, talking and getting ready for bed.

Mel: So ... they’re obviously evil.

Kirsch: Nah, I though they were kinda nice

Carmilla: More importantly, is this ritual of theirs even gonna fix me?

Perry (reading the spellbook): Well, it looks promising.

Carmilla: Promising?  Are you telling me you were possessed by an evil goddess for, like, six months -

Perry: Eight.  It was eight months.

Carmilla: And you can’t get more specific than that?

Perry: The whole book is written in code.  But, if the family’s notes are correct, it seems as though it’s two birds, one stone.  The ghosts move on, Carmilla stays human.

LaFontaine: That makes sense.  When I scanned them, the energy from your spark was flowing straight to them.

Mel: Look, for all we know, they lured us in and trapped us here.  Are we seriously gonna trust them?

Laura: What happened to them wasn’t their fault.  They were girls just like you or me with their whole lives ahead of them.  If this ritual helps them and keeps Carm human, we have to try it.

Later that night.  Laura and Carmilla are lying in bed.  Perry’s working on a laptop, sitting on the floor by the couch LaF is scanning the room with an EMF detector

Kirsch: Sweet!  Is that a Gameboy?

LaF: Even better.  It’s an EMF alarm.  It might be nice to get a heads-up if any ghosts come calling.

LaF puts the EMF detector up on a mantle and sits down on the couch.

LaF: Psst, Perr, about before ...

Perry: Oh, I’m glad we postponed the meeting.

LaF: You are?

Perry: With all the data we’ve collected here?  We’re in a much stronger bargaining position.

LaF: Really, Perr?  I know this is the big leagues, but why are you so pumped to sell our company?

Perry: Do you even know what I do all day, while you’re off playing in your little lab?  [LaF looks upset] I balance our budgets.  Get our products approved.  Handle the reckless endangerment lawsuits.  I mean, at Intrigue there’d be a legal ... [Carmilla clears her throat, Perry reduces her volume] ... there’d be a legal department, LaF

LaF: I see.  And, uh, by “playing” you mean the research that makes our company possible?

Perry: Oh, that is not fair, you -

LaF: You know what?  I am too tired to deal with this right now.  [LaF lies down on the couch, pulling a blanket overthemself.  Perry goes back to her computer]

New scene.  Kirsch is making a sandwich, and Mel approaches him, startling him, causing him to drop his sandwich.

Kirsch: On, man, we killed my sandwich.  [Kirsch picks up the sandwich] Tutti abal tutti.  [to Mel] Five-second rule.  [bites into sandwich]

Mel: Have we, or have we not, had multiple conversations about not wandering away in the haunted house?

Kirsch: I know.  It’s just the ghost ladies are so nice.  And you know how I feel about leftovers.

Mel: Kirsch, if your stomach gets me dragged into some kind of black girl dies first bullshit, I am gonna come back from the dead and haunt your bar fridge.

They hear a noise coming from another room, and go to check it out

Charlotte: They aren’t going to go along with it.

Emily: They’ll get caught up in the surprise.  You’ll see.  It will all come out exactly as we planned.

Charlotte: Why aren’t we just telling them?

Kirsch’s stomach growls, alerting Emily and Charlotte to their presence.  Kirsch and Mel hurry off to hide, while Emily and Charlotte leave the room, locking it behind them.

Back to the bedroom, Laura and Carmilla are asleep.  Laura has another dream.  Laura notices the nightgown from before

Laura: Ugh, this again?  Really?

She hears Mattie from another room

Mattie: You would do well, little sister, to finish your task here.  We live for the eternal moment, chérie.  We are power.

There’s further talking but it’s indistinct, Laura notices some creepy paintings as she walks through a hall

Mattie: Faîtes attention, chérie.  You would do well, little sister, to finish your task here without further delay.

Laura peeks into a room and sees Carmilla dressed in all black, holding a book.

Laura: Did you ever think that our part in this, that what we do might be ... unforgivable?

Mattie: You must stop reading the romantics!  [takes book away from her] We live for the eternal moment, chérie!  We are power, pleasure [Carmilla walks away from Laura’s sight, while Mattie walks into her sight] and are only accountable for our desires.  And maman, who is growing impatient.  Faîtes attention, chérie.  Votre mère vous met en garde contre l’assassin.

Mattie walks towards the door.  Laura runs off.  Carmilla and Mattie leave the room.

Laura enters the room Mattie and Carmilla just left.  She sees a broach on a plain table.

Carmilla (faint voiceover): You’re wearing the broach

There’s a sound of girls laughing, and then a thunderclap, and a ring of paper dolls appears, surrounding the broach.  Laura looks at the paper dolls.  Suddenly the laughing changes to screams

Woman: No!  I don’t want to go back!

The dolls start to burn and are replaced by a ring of ash in seconds. Carmilla’s gloved hand touches Laura, and suddenly she wakes up in the real world.

Carmilla: Hey, you all right?

Laura: Another nightmare.  You and Mattie were talking and she said something about an assassin, and then these paper dolls disintegrated, and I don’t know.  It seemed more coherent when it was happening.

Carmilla: You’re still havin the dreams?  But we’re here, I mean, why would you still be having them, unless ...

Mel walks in

Mel: Something else is going on.

Carmilla: Knocking, still not a thing.

Mel: The Hunger wanted a midnight snack and while he was getting it, we caught our ghostesses talking about some kind of surprise we aren’t gonna like and sneaking into a locked room.  So they’re hiding something.  Or someone.

Daytime.  Laura, Carmilla, Mel, and Kirsch confronting Emily and Charlotte.

Emily: Hiding something?  How could we possibly -

Mel: What’s behind the door?

Charlotte: Why should that concern you?

Mel: Maybe I don’t like surprises.

Charlotte: You look like a woman who can cope.  [Mel and Charlotte share a long stare]

Laura: This could all be easily resolved by just showing us what’s behind door number one.

Emily: Of course.  If you insist, but ... you’ll ruin the surprise.

Carmilla: We’ll risk it.  [Emily turns to unlock and open the door] We’d kind of like to know if you’re planning to ... [They walk into the room and see all kinds of party preparation] ... to throw a party?

Laura’s looking around excited, while Carmilla looks confused

Emily: To thank you for helping us.

Carmilla: You’re throwing a party?

Charlotte: The ritual can’t be performed until the Ash Moon, and Emily always loved to dress up.

Mel (to Charlotte): I can’t imagine you’re a slouch in that department.

Carmilla: You can’t be serious

Laura (looking at a bottle of champagne): I think it’s sweet.  It’s like a pre-ritual going-away party, before they go away.  Permanently.

Emily: Exactly!  And, we would be honored if you would attend.

Laura: Yeah, of course!  [she notices a closet with ball gowns]  Oh, my gosh!  [she takes out a gown] Ball gowns?  Are we gonna get our strictly ballroom on?  Aaa!  Best haunting ever!  [she gives Carmilla a quick peck on the cheek and runs out excitedly]

Exterior of mansion

Carmilla (off camera): How’s it going in there?

Interior.  Carmilla’s sitting on a couch already in a dress while Laura’s struggling to get her dress on behind a dressing screen.

Laura: BBC period dramas do not spend enough time on how complicated these clothes are.  I swear, I’ve been in here for 40 minutes.  Hey, thanks for going along with this, by the way.

Carmilla: Well, what’s to go along with?  I like a canape as much as the next girl.

Laura: Still, it can’t be fun hanging out with you ....

Carmilla: Former victims?

Laura: No matter how nice they are.

Carmilla: Hmm, yeah, well, I’d appreciate it if they took it down a notch.

Laura: You’d prefer a roaring rampage of revenge?

Carmilla: Well, all this forgiveness is making me twitchy.

Laura (putting a choker on around her neck) You think maybe that’s cause deep down you still don’t think you can be forgiven?

Carmilla: I see we’ve reached the amateur psychoanalysis round.  See, this is why I blew off that therapist.  You know, some things are just too much to talk about in an office full of crystal dolphins.

Laura: I think maybe that’s the point of the talking

Carmilla: Yeah, except it wasn’t just talking, there was this manifes-

Laura steps out from behind the dressing screen.  Carmilla is completely dumbfounded by how Laura looks.

Laura: You aren’t saying anything.  Did I put it on wrong?  I look ridiculous.  I do.  I look ridiculous, I -

Carmilla gets up from the couch and approaches Laura.  They kiss.  They separate and Carmilla takes a long look at Laura.

Carmilla: Forty minutes to get you into that, hunh?  Bet I could get you out of it faster.

They kiss again.  Carmilla turns Laura around, her hand around her waist, kissing her collar

Laura: We’re already gonna be late for the ball

Carmilla: So let us be late.

Carmilla unzips Lauras dress, removing it, exposing her corset, Laura turns back around to face Carmilla, as they kiss.  Carmilla turns around and Laura removed her dress.

Laura drops to her knees, kissing Carmilla as she does.  She kisses the inside of Carmilla’s thigh, as Carmilla gently plays with her hair.  Laura stands up, briefly kissing Carmilla, and then breaking away to lie down on the bed,  Carmilla joins her on the bed, she kisses Laura, and then moves down her body, kissing her left breast.  Carmilla lifts up Laura’s skirt, and dives under it.  The camera focus on Laura’s face as she gasps in pleasure

Carmilla wipes her mouth as she goes in to kiss Laura.  Laura flips them over so that she’s on top.  Carmilla removes Laura’s corset leaving her topless (seen from behind), Laura drops back down to kiss Carmilla as Carmilal’s hands run along Laura’s back, scratching it, as Laura’s hand moves off screen, Carmilla moaning

We see Laura and Carmilla dressed fully again, with masquerade masks running down the stairs, Laura in the lead

Carmilla: I’m coming.

They reach the ballroom.  An unnamed ghost greets them.  There are several pairs of ghosts dancing, as well as LaF and Perry.  Mel is standing in the background watching, next to Charlotte.

LaF: Looking good, frosh!

Carmilla looks at Laura

Laura (laughing): What?

Carmilla: May I have this dance?

They go out on the dance floor, giggling, and start dancing

Perry: I’m sorry about the way I handled things last night.

LaF: It’s alright, I know you didn’t mean any of it.

Perry: I may have been a little harsh, but that doesn’t mean I was wrong.

LaF: Let’s not fight in front of the ghosts, honey.

Charlotte looks bored.

Mel: It’s not your thing either, hunh?

Charlotte: Emily has always wanted to belong to society.  I understood life differently.  [Mel looks at her]  If you have to conform, you never belonged.

Mel (smiling): Okay, how did you fall for Vampirella’s schtick?

Charlotte: I didn’t.  My sister vanished.  I went looking of her.  She’s never forgiven herself.

Mel: What about you?

Charlotte: I didn’t leave her then, how could I now?

Mel: You wanna try this stupid dance?

Charlotte: Obviously.

Mel and Charlotte dance.

We see several dancing couples, including Kirsch with another unnamed ghost-lady

Laura (slow-dancing very close with Carmilla): This is nice.  Kinda like that grad ball we never got ‘cause our school was a supernatural death trap.  [Carmilla chuckles]  I missed this.  I mean, not the pulse-pounding terror, but ... the parts where we help people.  Though, I do wish we’d figure out why the ghosts were here in the first place.

Carmilla: Hey, Laura ...

Laura: I know, no need to keep prying.  The ghosts will move on.  You will get your life back and ... we can go back home.

Carmilla: No.  I, um ... I think at that therapist’s appointment, I may have, um ...

Laura notices the table from her dream, and has a brief flashback to the dolls disintegrating and other scenes

Carmilla: Laura?

Laura: Sorry. Weird déjà vu.

Suddenly she sees dream!Carmilla for a brief second.  She backs away from Carmilla

Carmilla: Hey, what’s going on?

Laura: I though ... I thought I saw ... the woman in black, the ... you!  The you from my dreams, but that’s impossible, right?

Carmilla: Come on, let’s sit down.

Laura sits down on a chair

Laura: I’ll get you a drink, okay?

Laura has a dream-vision.  Carmilla, all in black, with a woman dressed in white with purple fringes.

Carmilla: Come with me, loving me, to death, or else hate me and still come with me, hating me through death and after

Laura snaps back to reality, LaF is next to her.

LaF: Are you okay?

Carmilla arrives with two glasses of champaign.  Laura notices a woman dressed in black, with a mask.  Laura gets up, rushing to where she saw the woman, but the woman is gone.

Laura: Where is she?

Carmilla: Hey ...

Laura: She was right here!

Mel: What’s going on, Hollis?

Laura: The woman in black, the one wearing a mask

Mel: Everybody’s wearing a mask.  [to Charlotte] Do you know who she’s talking about?

Charlotte (to Laura): Maybe if you’re not feeling well, you should sit down.

Laura: I’m dreaming things while I’m awake now.  What’s next?

A light glow fills the room.

Emily: It’s almost time!  The Ash Moon has begun.  Gather round for the ritual.

Skip to all the ghosts plus Carmilla in a circle around a black table (the same one from Laura’s dream), Laura and the others are standing outside of the circle.

Emily: Before we begin, I want to say how grateful we are.  Whatever you’ve done in the past, you’ve come to help us now, and I think that shows a strength of character that is quite remarkable.

Carmilla: Yeah, sure.

Charlotte: It’s time, Emily.

Perry: It’s your last night on Earth.  Are you sure you don’t want another drink before you go?

Charlotte: The ritual must be performed before the Ash Moon ends at sunrise.  Otherwise, we’re trapped here forever.  So, no.

Emily begins reciting some foreign language and places a broach in the center of the table, the one from Laura’s dream

Carmilla: Wait, that’s the broach that I ...

Emily and Charlotte place her hands on the broach, and she gasps, frozen.  The ghosts join hands.

Laura: Carm?

A glowing light appears from Carmilla’s chest, moving into the broach.

LaF: That’s Carmilla’s spark!  It’s leaving her!  Wh-why is it going in to the broach?

The ghosts start shaking and seizing

Kirsch: Uh ... guys?

LaF (looking worried) Did that spell say anything about spirit entanglement?

Emily: It’s not supposed to happen like this!

Laura: Something’s wrong!

She starts to approach the circle, but is stopped by Perry

Perry: Laura, stay back, it’s dangerous!

Laura: We have to stop the ritual!

Emily: I can’t!  It’s out of control!

Suddenly Emily disappears, in a brief flame, which spread through the circle

Unnamed ghost: We’ve been tricked!

Charlotte: I don’t want to go back!

LaF: We need to disrupt the circle!

LaF rushes towards the circle to try to break it.  They free Charlotte from the circle, but get caught themself, pushing Charlotte back into Laura before they disappear.

Perry: LaF!

Laura rushes twoards Carmilla

Perry: Don’t touch Carmilla, it will take you too!

A masked woman appears, the same woman we saw earlier, humming.

Woman (to Carmilla): Did you think you’d get away with it?  Summon us up to ease your mind and then just waltz away?  Did you really think there’d be no consequences?

Laura: It’s you.

The woman removes her mask, revealing herself to be Elle.

Elle: Surprise!  Not the brightest little ingénue, are we?

She grabs the broach.  There’s a bright light and a high-pitched ring as everyone falls back.  When the light fades, everyone’s on the floor, geting up.  Except Carmilla, who’s not getting up.  Elle takes something from the table and leaves.

Kirsch notices a pile of dust where LaF had been

Kirsch: Is that pile of dust LaFontaine?

Perry: They’re j-... they’re just ... they’re just gone

Mel (to Charlotte): Are you okay?

Laura (off screen): Carm?

Charlotte: I need to hide

Charlotte runs off

The camera shifts to Laura and Carmilla, Carmilla’s on the floor, not moving

Laura: Carm?  Carm?  [Checks Carmilla’s pulse]  Carm!  [Laura starts shaking her] Carm!  Hey!  Hey!  C’mon, hey!  [slaps Carmilla’s cheeks trying to wake her up]  Carm!  Hey!  Hey!  Hey!  Hey!

Carmilla opens her eyes

Carmilla: Hey ...

Laura pulls her up and they embrace.  Laura’s eyes widen in shock

Laura: Your heart.  It’s not beating.  You’re a vampire.

The camera shifts to Elle at the front door, trying to get out, but the door is still stuck.

Elle: Nooo!!!!  Why won’t it work?  I’ve sent all the ghosts away!  [takes out broach and starts chanting in foreign language again; she tries again with no success]  Did one of them escape me?

Back in the bedroom, Kirsch is changing, while Perry reads the book.

Kirsch: So, did I miss something, or did that go radically not as planned?

Laura: It was Elle.  She was at the masquerade.  She knew about the ritual, she knew exactly what was going to happen.

Kirsch: How could she have known?

Carmilla: Because Emily and Charlotte lied to us.  They had to have known she was here

Laura: You think vacuumed, screaming back to a hellish nightmarescape was part of their plan?  [Perry and Carmilla look at her]  Sorry.  We will figure this out.  We will find LaF.  Why would Elle do this?

Carmilla (holding a bottle of hemo-soy): You heard her, to punish me for what I did by stealing my life.  [drinks from the bottle]

Laura: But she can’t steal anything, she’s trapped here just like us unless all the ghosts move on.

Perry: But the ghosts are gone.  All of them except Elle and Charlotte.  Elle can’t leave until Charlotte is also sent back to the nightmare land, like all the other ghosts.  LaF thwarted her plan

Carmilla: And now that my spark’s in the broach and Elle has the broach, if she gets rid of Charlotte, she could become human and leave.

Laura: We have to find her.  Now.

Mel (entering the room): That’s easier said then done.  Miss Sheridan is gone, girl.

Carmilla: Not to mention we don’t exactly know how to extract a life force from a magical broach.

Carmilla sets down the now-empty bottle of hemo-soy, and picks up another one

Mel: You may want to go easy on those, that's the only case

Carmilla: Terrific.

Laura: But, Elle must have the spell already.  I mean, that’s her escape plan, right?  So we have to find Elle before she gets to Charlotte, then Perry can find the spell to put your spark back -

Perry: Laura, what are you talking about?  We have to find LaF first.

Laura: Of course, of course, we have to find both of them, but if we lose Elle now, then all of use are trapped -

Perry: We have to find Elle later, LaF comes first!

Laura: We can’t just let her take Carmilla’s life!

Awkward silence as everyone looks at each other

Kirsch: We could start in the study

Mel: I can’t believe I’m saying this, but beefcheeks is right.  We don’t have much time.

Mel, Kirsch, and Perry leave the room.  Carmilla approaches Laura, touching her arm.  Laura pulls away

Laura: I need to get out of this dress

Carmilla: It will be easier if you let someone help

Carmilla reaches for Laura, Laura spins around facing her angrily

Laura: Did you summon up the ghosts?  Because that’s what she said, Elle, that you summoned her up.

Carmilla: I think it’s ... possible.

Laura: Possible?  How do you not know whether you summoned up the ghosts of your former victims who maybe want some light, refreshing revenge?

Carmilla: Because, it was just something stupid that happened at the therapist’s appointment!

Laura: What?

Carmilla: She ... said I could never move forward unless I dealt with my past, so ... she had me think about Elle and the others, and, you know, there was the usual “manifest your issues” crap, but ... I had completely forgotten about it until my issues actually ... manifested

Laura: And when were you going to share this little piece of information with me?

Carmilla: I was waiting for the right moment.

Laura: You know what would’ve been a good moment?  Any time before the ghost of your former lover killed you!  (starting to cry)  She killed you.  I thought she killed you.

Carmilla: Hey [opens arms] come here [Laura embraces her, sobbing against her] I’m still here.  OK?  I’m still here.  We’re gonna get my life back, okay?  And all those things we want, every single point on your five-year plan, we’re gonna do them, okay?  Okay, let’s get you out of this thing.

We switch to Mel, Perry, and Kirsch in the study

Perry: Either Emily decoded the spell wrong, or Elle tricked her.  The spell she did cast used Carmilla’s spark to force the ghosts off to the nightmare land that Emily described.

Mel: You think that’s where the braniac ended up?  [Perry nods]  You think you can get them back?

Perry: I think the real moving-on spell might do it.  But, that means we only have till sunrise to find the code key.  [Mel looks out the window at the moon]  And I’ll need Carmilla’s spark.

Mel: Well, that makes getting the broach back priority number one.  Hollis’ll be chuffed.  [looking at Perry] Perry, LaFontaine knows you’re looking for them.  They know.  It’s what we do.

Mel slaps Perry’s leg in comfort.  Perry returns the gesture

Back in the bedroom, Laura’s in her regular clothes, and Carmilla’s putting on a shirt.  A humming sound is heard, and Laura flashes to another dream sequence.

Carmilla enters a room, looking very happy, dressed in white

Carmilla: It’s done!  We leave tonight.  In three days, we’ll be on an ocean liner headed for New York.

Elle looks less than thrilled.  She stands up from where she was sitting

Carmilla: You’re gonna love New York!  It’s full of ... concerts, and theater, and ... life.  Your life life is gonna be so much bigger than you ever imagined!

Elle has now been replaced by Laura.  Laura!Ell turns aroung to face Carmilla.

Carmilla: Wh-what are you doing?

The humming returns.  Elle appears creepily sliding up Laura, she takes Laura’s right hand, a knife now in it, and slices her left palm open.

We suddenly return to the real world, Laura’s completing the slicing motion

Carmilla: Laura!  Hey!  Are you alright?

She looks down and sees Laura’s palm sliced open.

Laura: What in Stoker’s name is going on?

Time-skip.  Perry and Mel are now present.  Perry is getting gauze out of a first aid kit while Mel supports Laura’s hand.

Mel: So Elle can dream-kabob you in real life?  Is that a normal ghost thing?  Are we supposed to know they could do that?

Laura: She’s sent me dreams before.  This is the first time she’s reached out and slashed me.

The camera focuses on Carmilla, looking broodily out the window

Perry: Oh, dear

Laura: No, no, no, no, no.  Not “oh dear”, we do not need an “oh dear” right now.

The conversation becomes slightly muted, as we hear the sound of beating hearts

Perry: Well, I mean, I’m still deciphering, but there’s several spells in this book which might make ghosts much more powerful, especially in the dream world.

The camera shifts back to Laura, Mel, and Perry

Laura: Right, so Elle’s faster, better, stronger.  Can we undo that?  Use the book to soup ourselves up?

Perry (reading): “Side effects may include ... anxiety, insomnia, dream contagion, and ... death”

Laura: So ... no.  Wait ... dream contagion?  Is that like ... sometimes in the dreams it’s like she can’t completely control them, like I’m seeing things that she wouldn’t want me to see.  Like just now, I saw you getting ready to leave for New York.

Carmilla: No one’s going anywhere until we find Charlotte.  The Craft here will keep researching.  You, Mel, and frat-boy can ... [notices that Kirsch isn’t around] Where’s the frat boy?

Mel: That burrito-chomping, protein-powder-snorting, gullible, mush-brained ...

We see a pile of ash with a sandwich on it

Mel: ... dope.

We pan up to see Carmilla, Perry, Laura, and Mel looking at what used to be Kirsch.

Mel: I told him

Perry: It’s the same as LaF.

Laura: Okay, we have to find Charlotte and get that broach back before Elle finishes this little re-enactment of And Then There Were None.

External view: The moon in the sky

Laura (voiceover): Search every nook and cranny, Charlotte has to be somewhere

Carmilla: Be careful.  Elle knows this place better than we ever will.

We see Laura and Carmilla searching.  They enter a room, and Carmilla looks at the books on a mantle.  She pulls one out as Laura watches.

Another flasback-dream.  Laura (as Elle) lying on Carmilla’s lap as Carmilla reads from a book labelled Le Fanu Poems

Carmilla: “Girls are caterpillars while they live in the world, to be finally butterflies when the summer comes.  But in the meantime, there are grubs and larvae, so says Monsieur Buffon”

There’s a thunderclap, and then we see Elle standing behind the couch

Elle: To think of the trouble I went to, [Laura gets up, running for the door] warning you, [Elle blocks her escape thinking you’d learn from my mistake.

Laura: Yeah, cause Carm’s the villain here.  Aren’t you the one zapping innocent people for no reason?

Carmilla: I’m doing it to keep what’s mine.

Laura: That life isn’t yours.

Elle: It’s what I’m owed.  And I wouldn’t waste it on some banal five-year plan.

Laura notices LaF drawing some kind of symbol on a mirror.

Laura: LaF?

The dream sequence ends abruptly, Carmilla’s still in the middle of taking the book out

Laura: LaF! I saw LaF!

We skip ahead, Laura sitting on a couch with a pad of paper, Perry and Mel on either side, and Carmilla behind them

Laura: Drawing some sort of symbol, looked like this ... or maybe like this.  [Laura’s drawing two versions of the symbol she saw in her dream]

Mel: How did you get past second grade?

Laura: I saw it for half a second in a ghost-induced nightmare, give me a break.

Carmilla: Any idea what it means?

Perry: No, but if LaF thinks it’s important enough to send from beyond the vale ... if I could just identify it, maybe it could hep decipher the moving-on spell.  I’ll try to figure this out, while you guys go get a life.

Laura gets up and moves toward the door

Carmilla (to Mel): Go with her, keep her safe.

Mel: What are you going to do?

Carmilla: Well, young lady stole my life and turned me back into a vampire?  So, I’m gonna remind her what that means.

Mel (to Perry): How about you?

Perry: Oh, I’ve got the EMF.  If it so much as chirps, I’ll shriek.

Mel gets up to follow Laura.  We see Mel and Laura heading down some stairs, as Perry studies the spell book, and the EMF detector produces static noise, and then starts beeping, Perry looks up.

We switch scenes to Carmilla entering a room, where Elle waits, facing away from the door.

Elle: I used to think you and I would spend our lives reading to each other.  If only I’d known how brief one of those lives was going to be.

Carmilla: Hello, Elle.

Elle: Is that all you have to say to me?  After what you did?

Carmilla: I never meant to hurt you.

Elle: Oh, don’t apologize.  [Elle turns around to face Carmilla]  It costs you nothing.

Carmilla: So, what?  This is about me paying for my sins?

Elle: You never even stopped to think if you deserved this life.  I’ve watched you.  All these years.  You've never thought of anyone but yourself.

Carmilla: Well, that’s some big talk coming from the girl who sent her friends to a nightmare land.

Elle: Me?  Oh, no, I’m just thinking about myself.  Oh, wait, I wonder who taught me that?

Carmilla rushes at Elle to hit her, but Elle vanishes and reappears by the door.

Elle: Oooh [chuckles] Not very ladylike, Miss Karnstein.

From off screen, Laura’s scream can be heard

Carmilla: Laura!

Elle: Better run, Carmilla.  These old house are so dangerous, after all.

We see Carmilla running with her supser-speed to the study, where Laura and Mel are already present

Laura: Damn it! [camera pans to the pile of ash that used to be Perry, there are various notes around her, the only one that can be seen clearly says “... is a giant trap??”]  Perry.  You never should’ve left her alone

Mel: No sign of the spell book, either.  [to Carmilla] I take it your little chat with the ghost of girlfriends past was a bust?

Carmilla: Yeah, I’m getting pretty sick of this haunting crap.

Charlotte: Imagine how we feel.  [All three turn around to see Charlotte in the room with them]  I’m wondering if we might be of assistance to each other.

Charlotte’s sitting on a couch with the others around her

Charlotte: Miss Sheridan said you would never go along with the spell if you knew she was with us.  I should’ve known that she only wanted your life for herself.  It was all she ever talked about.  The wide world that she’d been denied.  As if the same thing hadn’t happened to us all.  (to Mel)  I’m sorry about your friend.  I didn’t know what would happen when they pulled me back.

Laura: Can you help us get them back?

Charlotte: I don’t know.  But we have to stop Miss Sheridan.

Mel: You got any thoughts on the stopping front?

Charlotte: It’s me she wants, so perhaps ...

Another dream sequence.  Laura and Elle are alone in a room.  Laura’s sitting in a chair while Elle approaches her, pulling out a knife.

Laura: Do we really have to do this Nightmare on Elm Street crap?

Elle: Fine [turns around, then turns back, now holding a tray with a tea pot and tea cups, the room gets brighter] Let’s speak as reasonable women.  Elle sits down in the chair net to Laura’s, setting down the tea tray.  So.  Your friends are trapped beyond the veil.  You, Carmilla, and your ... trigger-happy accomplice are next.  Sugar?

Laura: ... sure

Elle: But, if you hand over Charlotte, and let me keep this life -

Laura: It isn’t yours to keep

Elle: That’s beside the point!  Let me keep it ... and I’ll bring your friends back.  You can all ... leave this place.

Elle hands Laura a tea cup, she accepts it warily

Laura: What happens to Charlotte?

Elle: Well, I’m afraid poor Charlotte will have to ... follow her sister.  But, you know that was always going to happen, so.

Laura: She’s just like you.  They all are.  Don’t they deserve a chance to move on?

Elle: Oh!  [laughs]  Oh, you haven’t figured it out yet.  The only way that Charlotte and Emily can reach their ... everlasting rest, is if Carmilla sacrifices her human life.  [Laura looks shocked]  So, let’s not pretend that you’d sacrifice Carmilla’s life for a few wayward spirits, any more than I would.

Laura: You can’t just leave them trapped in a nightmare!

Elle: You’d let your friends die in here to ... help them?

Laura: There has to be another way!

Elle: Ugh!  You’ve had your chance.  [the room darkens again, thunder cracks]  Whatever happens now is your fault.

Laura’s back in the real world, gasping back to consciousness

Carmilla: Elle?  Are you alright?  Did she do anything to yo uin the dreamscape?

Laura: No.  I just wanna get her out of my head.  I wanna get your life back.

Carmilla: Well, we think we can lure her out into the open by using Charlotte as bait.

Laura: You’d do that for us?

Charlotte: There’s only a few hours left of the Ash Moon.  If Emily and I want to move on, it’s our only chance.

External shot of mansion, shots of various rooms.  We see Charlotte coming down the stairs

Elle: There you are!  You know, it’s impolite to cause your host so much trouble.

Charlotte: I’m sure I’ll find a way to repay you.

Elle grabs Charlotte’s neck, pushing her up against a wall.

Laura appears, followed by Carmilla, and then Mel with her crossbow, surrounding her

Elle: A trap?  You aren’t serious.

Carmilla: Vampire, warrior, journalist.  I like our chances.  Let’s have a little chat about taking things that don’t belong to us.

Elle: You first

Elle zooms over to Mel, vanishing her into Ash

Charlotte: Mel!

Elle: Best get the broom out.  [kicks the pile of ashes, then zooms over to do the same to Charlotte]  Look at that.  Then there were three.  [to Laura]  You should’ve taken up my offer, sweetheart.

Carmilla: Offer?

Elle: Your life for you friends.  Don’t worry, Laura declined when she discovered that Emily and Charlotte can’t move on without destroying your precious spark.

Carmilla: You’ll never be able to enjoy it.  You’ll spend the rest of your days looking over your shoulder  [Rushes to grab Elle’s arm]  Wondering if it’s my step you hear at the door.

Elle attempts to slice Carmilla with her knife, but Carmilla dodges too quickly.

Elle: I’ll take my chances.  I’ve got the broach.  There’s nothing you can do to stop me.

Carmilla: Maybe not.  But she knows krav maga.

Elle: What?

Laura grabs Elle’s arm, wrestling the knife out of it, they fight

Laura: Why do people always forget that?

Elle, Laura, and Carmilla fight for the broach.  A bright glow appears from teh light, and they all disappear.

Laura appears in a blank white space

Laura: Hello?  Carm?  Carm!  [creepy whispers and howling wind are all we can hear]  Pull yourself together, Hollis.

Laura finds herself back in a dream version of the mansion.  She sees Carmilla’s rebirthday cake on the same table that they’d performed the ritual at before.  The cake then turns into the broach.  Laura picks it up.  She hears herself, speaking in a sad, almost-monotone, fashion

Dream!Laura: Oh, crap, we’re live?  [Laura turns and sees a version of herself dressed in grey, with a microphone for news 9 (the same as in the “local news” clips from the beginning).  Behind her is a twisted version of her 5-year plan, with all the goals turned into failures]  Today, on Toronto News 9, it’s harsh reality.  Abandon your childhood dreams for the dubious security of  a subpar paycheck.  Spend your days glorifying clickbait and your nights letting fear and misery drive away friends and loved ones.  Accept that life is an unbroken chain of mediocrity stretching on and on and on.  This is Laura Hollis reporting live from a failed career.

Laura notices Elle approaching and runs down the stairs away from her

Elle: I want my life, you little thief!  I want my life!

Laura opens a door, and appears in a brightly-lit room with dream!Carmilla and dream!Elle

Laura: Doors are arbitrary.  Wonderful

Dream!Carmilla: Oh, you’re gonna love New York.  There’s theaters and conerts and ... life.

Laura: Wait, I know this.  I dreamed this.

Dream!Carmilla: Your life is going to be so much bigger than you’ve ever imagined.  What are you doing?

We see Dream!Elle taking out a knife.  The real Elle appears, grabbing Laura and dragging her out by the ears

Elle: You don’t belong here!

Laura runs off, with Elle continuing to follow her.

She appears in another room, with a weeping Emily being held by Charlotte

Dream!Emily: She laughed.  Miss Sheridan, she laughed at the very idea of ... Why did I trust her?  Why did I not ... I was supposed to keep you safe.

Laura: Oh, God.  Poor Emily.  Poor Charlotte.

Elle appears in the doorway.

Elle: Do you know what will happen if you die here?

Laura: Let me guess.  I die in the real world too

Elle: Worse.  You’ll be trapped, in this hell made of dead minds.  I wonder if you’ll feel so sympathetic then?

Laura: Is that what happened to you?

Elle: I don’t want your pity.  I want my life!  [Elle grabs Laura] I can take it from you living, or I can take it from you dead.

Laura: You’ve seen my dreams.  [she kicks Elle in the stomach] Have I ever gone down without a fight?

Laura runs off.  She runs into another room, which is the same one from before

Laura: Stuck in an endless loop of someone else’s damage.  Classic me.

Dream!Carmilla: Oh, you’re gonna love New York.  There’s theaters and concerts and ... life.

Laura notices the real Carmilla behind a couch, watching

Laura: Oh, Carm!  Carm!  [she runs over to real Carmilla]

Dream!Carmilla (partly overlapping with Laura): Your life’s gonna be so much bigger than you ever imagined!  What are you doing?

Dream!Elle slices her left palm.  Dream!Carmilla looks away

Dream!Elle: I met a woman in the village today.  She said strange things about you.  [Dream!Elle raises her palm, lifting it towards dream!Carmilla]  What’s wrong?  Why won’t you look at me, Carmilla?  LOOK AT ME!

Dream!Carmilla looks up, for a brief second, her fangs appear, she hisses and moves towards Elle, before she stops herself.  But it’s too late.

Dream!Elle: She was right.  You’re a monster.

Dream!Carmilla: I can explain ...

Dream!Elle: Oh, I’ve heard enough of your lies.  All your promises.  All your talk of a new life.

Dream!Carmilla: No, not lies, in the colonies, things’ll be different!  No one will know us! You’ll see that!

Dream!Elle: As if I would go anywhere with you now.  No.  My new friend is waiting in a carriage below.  She is going to take me travelling  She’ll show me the wonders of the world.

Dream!Carmilla is horrified, shaking her head

Dream!Carmilla: No, you can’t go with her.  Elle, I know, I know I lied, but the horror she has planned for you is much worse than -

Dream!Elle: Worse?!  Worse than saying that she loved me ... [whispered]  while she drank my blood?  [loud]  WHILE SHE DRANK MY BLOOD?

Dream!Carmilla (on the verge of tears): Please ...

Dream!Elle: Don’t worry.  I’ve told her where you are.  She’ll send someone to deal with you.

Dream!Elle leaves the room, as dream!Carmilla falls to her knees sobbing

The camera then pans to Dream!Elle in the room as at the start

Laura: What, is this on repeat?  How many times have you watche this?

Dream!Carmilla (entering the room): It’s done.  We leave tonight.  In three days, we’ll be on an ocean liner headed for New York.

The real Elle appears, Laura and Carmilla hide.  Elle leaves

Dream!Carmilla: You’re gonna love New York  There’s theaters and concerts and ... life!  Oh, your life’s gonna be so much bigger than you ever imagined!

Laura leads the real Carmilla out of the room.  They’re now in a staircase.

Laura: Hey!  Hey.  It’s okay.  Hey, you are not there anymore.  You are here, with me, right now.  And I have the broach.  [she places the broach in Carmilla’s hand]  If you can just ... absorb it.  [Nothing happens]

Carmilla: Nothing.

Laura:  Of course not.  Of course we still need some stupid spell! 

Carmilla: Maybe I should give her my life.

Laura: What?   Carm, you can’t!  She’s unhinged!

Carmilla: Not to her ... to them.  Laura, everything you saw in there ... it’s everything I’ve been avoiding for years.  Pretending like being human meant I didn’t do all of those awful things.  How is it fair that I get this life while they’re just trapped here?  After everything I’ve done?

Laura: Okay.  [sniffles]  Okay, [sniffles] A, let’s acknowledge that Ell and your mother share some of this blame, and B, we will figure out another way, a way that doesn’t involve you giving up your life.

Carmilla: You mean find a way to avoid responsibility?  Mmm-mm [shakes head]  You heard Elle, there’s no other way.  It’s my life for their freedom.

Laura: What about our life together?  Our future?  You’re just gonna give up on that?

Carmilla: Laura, I’m not giving up on that - 

Laura: Cause, we’re supposed to have arguments over who does dishes, and cupcakes to celebrate big days at work, and grandkids.  What is that gonna look like if you can live like you’re 25 forever?

Carmilla: You think I don’t want those things, too?

Laura: Please don’t give up on our life.

Carmilla: I’m not giving up.  But I can’t keep running away.  Not after what I’ve done.

Laura: Okay  [they kiss, then in barely a whisper:]  Thank you.  [normal volume]  Let’s go save some ghosts

We see Elle, pissed off by the front door.

Laura and Carmilla walk through a passageway.  A hooded figure in black passes them by, the same ifgure from the dream where Laura saw Carmilla being lowered into the blood-coffin

Laura: Seriously?  People can’t just dream about being audited?

They see LaF standing the hallway.

Laura: LaF! [runs to LaF, huggin them] How did you --- ?

LaF: Escape my personal hell?  I’ve been through, like, three apocalypses, I can tell the difference.

Laura: Have you found any of the others?

LaF: Funny you should mention that.  [LaF opens a door]  I’ve been trying to wake her, but she keeps confusing me for ... me.

Perry is watching herself doing paperwork, with Dream!LaF beside her

Dream!Perry: That’s form 83-B done.  [a pile of papers appears beside Dream!Perry]  Just filing a hundred of these daily ...

Dream!LaF: You don’t mind taking care of these right?  There’ll be just, like, 5 or 6 million pages.  You can do this alone; you don’t need me.  See you in six years.

Laura wakes the real Perry

Perry: Laura?  What are you doing in my ... strangely bureaucratic nightmare?

Laura: Elle zapped us into nightmare land.  We have to do the spell before sunrise which is coming up fast.

Perry: Well, I had to read the pages before Elle zapped me, but without the code key to decipher the spell -

LaF (clearing their throat): I've got the code key.

Perry: Oh!  Yes, the symbol!  Do you have the full thing?

LaF: Uh, yeah, I’ve literally got a photographic memory [LaF points at their cybor ete]

Perry: Oh, I could just kiss you on your robot eye!

Sadly, there is no kiss.

The four walk down a hallway, rescuing others from their dreams

Laura (to Mel): You’re safe

Kirsch: Why are people always hunting me for sport?

Perry (leading the others to the room where the ritual is to be performed): Okay, circle up.  We don’t need to hold hands or anything, the spell is much more powerful.  But, it might be more cozy that way.

Mel: So, what happens to us after the ghosts move on?

Perry: Oh, um, well, we’ll either find ourselves back at the schloss, or cease to exist entirely.

Mel: It’s better than our usual odds

Emily: I’m sorry, not to criticize any plan that would clearly be so much to our benefit, but ...

Charlotte: Doesn’t that mean you have to give up your human life?

Carmilla: Yeah.  Well, I’m responsible for what happened to you, so ... this is how I can help.

Carmilla sets the broach down.  It turns into Carmilla’s rebirthday cake.

Kirsch: Woah, what happened to the, uh ...

Laura: It’s a cake now.  Don’t ask.

Kirsch: Okay.

Carmilla: Alright, uh, let’s get this ritual started before I change my mind.

Perry pulls out a piece of paper and starts chanting in an foreign language.  Carm leans over, to blow out the candles on the cake, when Elle suddenly grabs her from behind with a knife

Laura: Carm!

Elle: You think I’m gonna let you do this?  Steal everything from me again?!

Laura: But Carm really isn’t the one who you blame for that, is she?  I’ve seen that moment between you two over and over again.  You had everything that you ever wanted and you gave it up because you were afraid.

Elle: They lied to me.  Carmilla, her mother, they betrayed and murdered me!

Laura: You’re right, it isn’t fair what happened to you, but that’s not an excuse. Everything that you’re doing right now, hurting everyone else, hurting yourself, it’s just because you’re afraid of what comes next, but you don’t have to be.  We can help you, we can help you find the peace you’ve always been looking for!

Elle: No!  No, I don’t want your platitudes!  I want my - 

Elle is suddenly stopped by an arrow shot by Mel

Mel: Your life.  You want your life.  Yeah, we know.  But it’s not all about you.  And you’re a part of this.  So, stay put.

Elle slides to the ground, injured, the arrow in her shoulder

Carmilla: Nice shot!

Mel: I’ve been waiting to do that since we got here

Laura and Carmilla embrace.  The circle is reformed, as Elle sits quietly in the background

LaF: So, you’re kinda rocking the fieldwork these days, hunh?  Think if we got more admin help, you’d be able to come out more?

Perry: I think I could ... find some time to play.

Charlotte (to Emily): We’re almost free of all this

Emily: You shouldn’t have been drawn into it to begin with.

Charlotte: It was 1872.  If we hadn’t been killed by vampires, it would’ve been, I don’t know, tuberculosis?

Laura: Oddly specific

Charlotte: Each day was made better because you tried to make it such.  I don’t regret a thing.  [to Mel] Thank you for the dance.  I wish there could be another, but ...

Mel: I get it.  You gotta leave with the one that brung you.

Charlotte: Would you like to ... ?

Mel: Obviously.

Charlotte and Mel kiss.  Everyone looks happy for them, except Elle who just looks annoyed by the delay

Elle: Ugh, can we please just move on already?

Perry resumes the spell.  Carmilla blows out the candles, all but one.

Someone: Ah, it’s working!

Charlotte and Emily vanish in glowing sparkles, followed by Elle.  Then Mel and Kirsch vanish, followed by LaF and Perry, leaving just Laura and Carmilla.

Carmilla: What the hell now?

Laura: I guess with all the ghosts gone, there’s no reason for this place to exist anymore.  So ... it worked.  Hooray.  [looking at Carmilla]  Sorry about before.  I think I’ve been so focused on chasing after your life cause it seemed a lot easier than trying fixing my own.

Carmilla: Hey, you’re Laura Hollis.  [chuckles]  And I’ve watched you fight vampires ... and gods and even that lady who tried to butt us in line at the craft fair. [they bloth laugh] So, you’re gonna figure it out.  Whatever happens next, we’re gonna do it together.

Carmilla prepares to blow out the remaining candle

Laura: If this goes Romeo and Juliet on us, I’m totally gonna haunt your ass.

Carmilla: Of course you are.

They kiss, and then Carmilla blows out the remaining candle.

They find themselves lying on the floor, sunlight coming, holding hands.

Laura: Well, that was a kick.

Laura’s walkie-talkie beeps

Perry (on walkie talkie): Where are you guys?

LaF (on walkie talkie): Is everyone okay, over?

Laura: Affirmative.  Laura and  Carm A-OK.  Over.

Laura and Carmilla get up

LaF: Front door’s unlocked

Perry: Oh!  Meet you outside

LaF: You’re supposed to say over

Perry: Over.

Carmilla: Let’s get the hell out of Styria.

Laura and Carmilla walk out of the schloss, joining the rest.  Kirsch hands them their bags.

Kirsch: I call dibs on window!

Montage: Walking down the path, then taking a train, then a plane landing, then back to Toronto.  The group is having a picnic, and we see Danny in the background talking to Kirsch.  Laura and Carmilla are sharing a bottle of champagne

Carmilla (holding champagne bottle as if microphone): And, how does it feel, Ms. Hollis, to officially be a freelance journalist at large?

Laura: I made a huge mistake!  What have I done?  I quit my job!  I gave up my cubicle!  I don’t have a plan!  What’m I supposed to do without a plan?  [Laura starts laughing, joined by Carmilla]  Only about half of that was actual panic, so pretty good, right?

Carmilla: Yeah.  I’m  just gonna go get some blood, babe.

They kiss.  The camera pans over to LaF and Perry, looking at some kidn of electronic device.

LaF: So ... this is a blueprint?

Perry: Yep, these are the blueprints they sent over.  And, oh, check this out.  They have an industrial-sized cleaning closet, and I was thining we could put your reactor over here in this corner.

LaF: That is a beautiful thing.

Carmilla: Selling out going smoothly?

LaF: Uh, we’re retaining executive control over LaFerry at Intrigue.  And they’re giving us a thorium reactor.  A thorium reactor!

The camera pans over to Kirsch and Danny

Kirsch: It was really scary.

Danny: It sounds a little cushy.

Kirsch: But it was a totally legit adventure.  You know, there were ghosts and this haunted mansion and then, you know, this weird netherworld

Danny: And comfy beds and midnight snacks, and a masquerade ball

Kirsch: Look, I even have that mark where I was ghost-zapped.  Look.  No, seriously look!

Danny: No, I see it

Kirsch: It’s there, look!

Danny: Okay, I see it, you can put it away now.

The camera pans over to Mel.  Laura’s standing by her, with a sympathetic look

Mel: Okay, don’t give me pity eyes, Hollis.  Like you never had a crush on a dead girl.

Laura: That does sound familiar.

They touch foreheads

Mel: Thanks

Laura walks over to Carmilla

Laura: So, Carmilla Karnstein, a vampire again.  What’s next?

Carmilla: I’m thinking ... maybe my PhD in Philosophy.  Hey, attend university for 70-odd years, and you rack up a few credits.

Laura: I’m so proud of you.

Carmilla: You’re not worried about how we’ll spend our lives together?

Laura: I figure any two people in a relationship, their lives move at different speeds.  That isn’t the part that matters.  This, here, right now.  This is what matters.  And I love you.

Carmilla: I love you too.

They kiss, and then look at the cityscape together as the credits begin

Credits scenes

Montage of various scenes of Laura reporting from various locations

Laura: I’m Laura Hollis and this is a web exclusive for Creampuffington Post.  We’re talking today with veteran dragonslayer Elizabeth Spielsdorf about the great apocalypse of 2015

Laura: Hi, I’m Laura Hollis on assignment in Graz where we’re just in time for the ribbon cutting ceremony on the JP Armitage Memorial Library

Laura: I’m Laura Hollis reporting live from the Geneva Summit on the Rights of Were-People

Laura: I’m Laura Hollis reporting to you live from Iceland where scientists have made a breakgthrough discovery of the first drinkable Fountain of Youth

Laura: A scandal brewing tonight on the steps of the capital as the President, who last month was revealed to be an as-yet unidentified species of lizard creature with very small hands, refuses to produce his long-form hatching certificate.  This is senior correspondent Laura Hollis for MSSSN-BCD

Credits roll.  Pictures of Laura and Carmilla with a baby

Post-Credits scene

Laura and Carmilla asleep in bed.  Carmilla wakes up.  She yawns, and gets up, walking to the kitchen.  She opens the fridge and pulls out a bottle of hemo-soy.  Mattie shows up

Carmilla: Hey, Mattie. 

Mattie: Hey, sis.

Carmilla: Why are you ...

Mattie: Back from the underworld and lounging in your charmingly Bohemian pied-a-terre?

Carmilla: For starters.

Mattie: You and I and the little ingénue that could are going on a road trip.  Turns out the anglerfish was female.  Before it died, it laid eggs.  Just an alarming number of eggs.

Carmilla takes a sip of hemo-soy

Carmilla: Alright, let’s get going.

Title card reading “To be continued ...?

[atamascolily]

lily watches fma:b, eps. 41-42

If Olivier is NOT running the country by the end of this show, I'll be very disappointed. She'll have zero problems putting Roy on trial for war crimes. Maybe she and Hawkeye and Miles can run Amestris and it'll be awesome.

Also, I'm really sad we haven't seen Greed-ling for a while now; he's hilarious and the best thing about Brotherhood so far for me. And what happened to Envy? What are they up to these days?

(as an aside, I'd just like to say that I 100% believe Kimblee and Envy have a lot of violently charged hatesex off-screen because those two assholes deserve each other; I am honestly surprised there's not more fic about those two in compromising positions.)

Anyway, here's a frame from FMA03 of Ed punching Hohenheim in the face, which is pretty much my default #mood these days.

Okay, also I'm confused how Olivier is already in Central while Ed and company are out. I have no sense of the scale involved here.

May discovers dynamite, lol.

Miles lectures Ed about how they have to kill Kimblee because he's too dangerous as if Miles didn't leave him alive when he had the chance to off him. I'm not saying this is all Miles' fault, but...my dude. Seriously.

I wish that Scar's brother actually had a name; is he really going to be "Scar's brother" for the entire series? Awkward.

May reveals that an immortal man with golden eyes (aka Hohenheim) brought alkahestry to Xing long ago. Speak of the devil... there he is walking away from Sig and Izumi while they stare after him in disbelief.

WHAT.WHAT THE FUCK. HOHENHEIM. why...

Winry notes that Ed and Al both have golden hair and eyes, but Yoki interrupts before anyone processes that.

Ed walks into the shot just as Miles' sniper is preparing to fire.Looks like we're stuck with Kimblee for at least another episode, sigh.

Kimblee: "I didn't survive the Ishvalan war on my good looks, you know."

see, kimblee is objectively a terrible person, but he has STYLE.

Kimblee finds a bunch of footprints leading into a mine tunnel, but I don't see how those are from Winry and company, since they left during a big storm, so... I suspect this is another trap for kimblee.

Ed breaks the dynamite down into its components, which includes ammonia so the chimera soldiers can't smell him.... and it incapacitates them but NOT Ed? OK, fine. 

Ed gets stabbed and Al passes out because their bodies are connected somehow...?

Ed frees the chimeras and asks them to pull out the beam in his guts so he can close through alchemy. "do u know what u r doing?" "lol, no"

Also, he's going to use his own life as fuel...?? I DON'T UNDERSTAND HOW ALCHEMY WORKS IN THIS SHOW ANYMORE.

okay, he says to think of his life as a "one soul size philosopher stone"and use it up just like he did with the gate trick to get out of gluttony and... okay.

(i realize that the main power of a shonen hero is sheer determination so I'm not gonna fight this too much.)

it does work but ed passes out and the chimeras find kimblee's spare philosopher's stone and carry ed out.

there's a convoluted thing involved scar's brother's research notes that ends up with a new country map of Amestris that encompasses alkahestry and I wish the camera would focus on it for longer if this is actually important

meanwhile, kain furey is being traumatized in the trenches to the south as the border skirmishes at key points heat up... so I guess the earlier ones were just to make tiny Philosopher's stones? test runs?I got nothing.

kimblee runs into pride, who orders him to "Carve a crest of blood" at Briggs before hunting scar.

HOW are Falman and Breda talking so openly on the phone, WHERE is your opsec?? They're not even using a code!

so I guess having the circle be underground means nobody notices it or something? or just saves sloth from having to dig in the cold?

Meanwhile, back in Liore, Rose has significantly less trauma in this incarnation and Hohenheim plays up his need for food... like dude, you are immortal, so... do you even NEED to eat??

[also: GROW THE FUCK UP, DUDE, you're freakin' pathetic!]

HOHENHEIM, STOP FLIRTING WITH ROSE, THAT'S GROSS.

[this is from fma03, but still. BIG MOOD HERE.]

there is a tunnel full of toxic water under the city, but hohenheim is immortal and gives zero  fucks, so he investigates by making a bridge with alchemy. THIS IS WHY I HATE THE "I'M SO HUNGRY" SCHTICK FROM EARLIER, JUST FYI.

Hohenheim runs into Pride's tunnel and ofc Pride shows up.

Pride is like... dude you look like my dad, you must be Hohenheim.

and Hohenheim determines Pride can only exist within the country-wide circle... why? I thought he could be anywhere there were shadows, WTF was the whole deal with hawkeye if not??

okay, hohenheim says "you're just like the original homunculus" which is true because they have the same eyes and dark blobby body, but the hands look like what happens when you open a gate and there are a hell of lot of them, so... I got nothing.

Also, Pride can only act within the heart of central and in the tunnels... okay, but why???

yeah, okay, hohenheim, we NOTICED there was a 7 deadly sins theme going on here.

yeah, hohenheim, you're so very brave taunting him where he can't reach you. as if you had a freakin' clue what was going on earlier.

hohenheim gets a badass exit, but it would carry way more weight if he'd done fuck all to deserve it. He declares war on Father, but... I gotta say I’d be more impressed if we’d seen him do fuck-all in the previous 40 episodes or any hint of an actual plan.

meanwhile, drachma noticed that Olivier was gone and decided to attack, lol.

oh, nvm, kimblee is working with the drachma forces, lol. the central forces are gonna double-cross the briggs ones and it's about to get extremely violent.

[chroniclesofawkwardness]

Fear the Bear

I’ve always been a bit confused, if not agitated, by words that look like they should rhyme but don’t. It’s not their fault that they don’t fit perfectly together, but I still consider a linguistic mismatch to be strike one against pairs of words like foot and boot, or fear and bear.

October 11th is National Take Your Teddy Bear to Work Day. I know because I almost called in sick three years in a row. For as long as I can remember, I’ve had a distrust, if not a dislike, of teddy bears. This could be traced back to when I was four. Reagan was in the White House. Teddy Ruxpin was on the shelves. Like most kids who spent far too much time in front of a television of that era instead of developing social skills, I had to have a Teddy Ruxpin. At least that’s what the commercials between segments of Cartoon Express on USA Network and Nickelodeon wanted me to think.

I didn’t get a Teddy Ruxpin for Christmas or my birthday in 1985, or any year after. I was disappointed and upset. Maybe this was another of my parents’ ways of teaching me that you can’t always get what you want, a traumatic yet valuable lesson for a young boy. My nephew is four now, and I wish I could teach him the same lesson I learned from Mr. Ruxpin. Sadly, he’s too busy playing with his dinosaurs or freaking out when his sister shoots him with her Nerf gun. I guess some lessons, especially those involving bears, are best left to life experience. I can’t point to the exact moment when my disappointment over not seeing Teddy Ruxpin under the Christmas tree, or not ripping one open on the anniversary of my birth turned into disdain for inanimate bear kind. But I can say that over time, I became more aware of inanimate bears like Winnie the Pooh, Paddington, the Berenst(E)ain Bears, Smokey, and Snuggle Bear, the mascot for a popular brand of fabric softener to name just a few. 

It was difficult for me to understand why Winnie the Pooh couldn’t just lay off the honey, or why Paddington couldn’t keep his hand out of the damn marmalade jar. Shouldn’t social graces apply to bears too? There’s a reason gluttony is one of the seven deadly sins. How hard is it to follow the rules?

The Berenst(E)ain Bears were my first encounter with the Mandela effect. I remember their surname being Berenstein, but not everyone does. I’ve done a bit of research, and found several examples, e.g. green pepper vs. mango, Oscar Meyer vs. Oscar (Your Body is a Wonderland) Mayer, Sex in the City vs. Sex and the City, etc… The effect takes its name from memories some people have of former South African president Nelson Mandela dying in prison, which didn’t happen. There’s no consensus on whether or not the effect exemplifies a collective memory failure or alternate realities. For my purposes, it’s just another example of bears fucking with me.

Smokey was useless. All he ever did was remind people that only they could prevent forest fires. He lived in a forest that was destroyed by in a fire and resolved never to let it happen again. I’m sure Smokey had the knowledge, resources, contacts to get off his ass and do something about forest fires, but he was content to remind everyone else that they alone had the capacity to do it. He did try to reach younger audiences by rapping in a 1993 Public Service Announcement, but he cut it short after admitting to the crew that his heart just wasn’t in it. I guess he was happy being barrel-chested and stoic. I’ve never seen Smokey with a shirt on, so he’s always been comfortable sharing himself with the world, but I’ve also never seen him don a mask and oxygen tank in an effort to save his fellow woodland creatures when the shit hit the forest fan. 

The whole thing reminds of Sam Kinison’s joke about Feed the Children. He rips into the host and crew of their infomercials for not offering food to the children themselves. The host would look straight into the camera and say something like, “Won’t you please help?” In reply, Sam screamed something along the lines of, “Why don’t you just give them some of the sandwiches you packed for the day? Huh? AAAAAHHHHHHH!”

Snuggle Bear used to make me so angry. For years, I outright refused to buy his fabric softener sheets because I couldn’t accept that he was always so damn happy. He seemed inauthentic. All you’d ever see on camera was Snuggle jumping out of a pile of freshly laundered towels. He’d then practically bring himself to orgasm by rubbing them against his skin while ecstatically proclaiming how snuggly soft they were. Since the camera never zoomed in for one of those classic porno shots that leaves nothing to the imagination, we were left to wonder exactly what was going on under the pile. 

We also never heard anything about Snuggle’s backstory, in contrast to a well-known duck who quacks poetic about the benefits of supplemental insurance. Through the years, we’ve seen the duck in the gym working his way back from injury, risking vertigo by riding a roller coaster and break dancing among the people. All the while, Snuggle just keeps jumping out of towels to greet us with his smiling face. We don’t know what adversity if any, he’s ever confronted. Did Snuggle once live in Smokey’s forest before it burned? Did he have to fight his way through the mean trees of Sherwood because some guy kept stealing his possessions and giving them to the poor? Was he ever addicted on screen and in real life, like Robert Downey Jr. in Less Than Zero? Has he ever had to deal with a devastating high ankle sprain caused by a mistimed jump out of the towel pile? We’ll never know. Without knowing, why would anyone emotionally invest in Snuggle Bear as opposed to the insurance duck?

The pillow was the worst of all. It was covered with teddy bears in pajamas. She held it close every night, more often than she did me, especially near the end. We’d lie on the pullout bed, Zs. on one side of the crevice, me on the other. Physically, she was only inches away, but those inches might as well have been thousands of emotional miles. This is not to suggest that I sought the validation of having her embrace me as lovingly as her pillow. Rather, that feeling nothing and having nothing shown to you in return is not a desirable state to be in. I am not blameless for not minding the emotional gap that grew wider and wider between us over time. The only blameless parties are the bears on her pillow, the bears I associate with her through no fault of her own. 

I got a second chance at life by coming home in June of 2011, but by that time I’d lost track of my life’s purpose. Maybe that’s why I hated the bears so much. They truly didn’t give a fuck. They were going to do what they were going to do regardless of what I thought. Teddy Ruxpin would keep reading his stories until his batteries died. No matter how bad his lip-synch job was, or who was listening. Pooh and Paddington would stay after the honey and marmalade. Boo-Boo would always stick his hand in that picnic basket. The Berenst(E)ain Bears would teach generations of children the value of kindness, no matter how they would later remember the spelling of their name. Smokey would remind people to think before doing something stupid that could start a fire. Snuggle would keep on jumping out of piles of fresh towels, reminding us that laundry straight out of the dryer doesn’t have to smell like shit. Even the bears on the pillow would offer support during all-important times of sleep. 

Legends of the Fall is one of my favorite movies (which also happens to be bookended by confrontations with bears). It illustrates how different the paths of men’s lives can be. Alfred (Aidan Quinn) lives a more traditional life than his brother Tristian (Brad Pitt) who is a free spirit. Tristian does what he wants, and lives free from the expectations of others. Alfred does everything by the book. While reflecting on their lives toward the end of the movie, Alfred tells Tristian something that could easily sum up my feelings toward these bears if I were Alfred, and the bears were Tristian.

I followed all of the rules, man’s and God’s. And you, you followed none of them. And they all loved you more. Samuel, Father, and my… even my own wife.

The bears were living their (sometimes cartoonish) purpose. They didn’t ask for permission; they just did. They knew in their hearts that whatever they were doing was what they wanted to do. I followed most of the rules, and what did it get me? I have a great life, but one that would be better if I awakened the bear inside me, the bear that dwells within every man. I shouldn’t have felt compelled to turn a teddy bear around when no one was watching so it couldn’t look at me (though I once did). I shouldn’t fear finding a giant teddy in my chair at work this coming October 11th. All I have to fear is the bear inside me staying dormant if I make choices that compromise my power as a man. Maybe Smokey was right. Only I can prevent forest fires. 

May I cease to fiddle while my forest burns.

[vicecityhq]

██████████████]99% LOADING...SUSPECT INTO THE APD DATABASE...

WITNESS(ES) SAY HE REMINDS THEM OF: cigarette butts, the sound of a gameboy booting up, and bloody knuckles . With a slight resemblance to HWANG HYUNJIN of/the STRAY KIDZ.

CLICK BELOW TO VIEW ENTIRE FILE.

FULL FILE:

Last Name, First Name: Jin, Malachi 'Kai' ALIAS: Haise Realm of birth(if earth, nationality): Earth Age: 19 Date of Birth: October 31st, 2001 Gender: Cismale Preferred Pronouns: he/him Species: Half-Ghoul/Half-human Sexual Orientation: Pansexual

VISUAL FILE:

Skin Color: Tanned Eye color: One dark grey, the other black with a red iris Scars: plenty of them on his knuckles, one across his nose, and on his upper cheek Piercings: Up both ears, and one in his belly-button Tattoos: both sleeves of sparse stick and pokes and little tattoos, and notably large centipede up his side and around his back in red ink. Hair color: White Abnormalities: His ghoul eye Horns/ wings/ etc: Transformed form: Before he dyed his hair and when he was younger, it would turn white and his normal eye would become the same as the ghoul one. Now that he's older he transforms almost completely with centipede esk legs out his back, and a beak like structure that resembles a plague doctor mask and two extra eyes form.

PERSONAL FILE:

RELIGIOUS BELIEF:  N/A SINS:  greed  /  gluttony  /  sloth  / lust  /  pride  /  envy  /  wrath VIRTUES: chastity  /  charity  /  diligence  /  humility /  kindness /  patience /  justice KNOWN LANGUAGES: English and Below Average Korean SECRETS: He is responsible for the string of 'animal attacks' that have been happening in the camping/overnight area of the park SAVVIES:  Technology and Model Architecture, Electric Guitar, Drums, Bass, Song Writing Powers & Abilities: Ghoul Physiology Traits: prideful & protective

BACKGROUND CHECK:

Date of Birth: 10/31/2001

Date of Death: [ if applying for an undead character ]

Crime Record: Petty theft, Assault, Assault and Battery, Robbery, Avoiding Police, Assault of a Police Officer, Fleeing the scene of a crime, Drug Possession, Tampering with Evidence, Minor in Possession, Minor in Consumption and solicitation, all expunged at 18 and done in the US. 

Background/Biography:

Malachi or 'Kai' Jin was a household name for the LAPD. There wasn't a week where the boy wasn't encountering the officers that hunkered down in the East area of the city. From shoplifting to being in possession the file the young half-ghoul began at such a young age only got bigger as the years went on. He'd even spent a spell in juvenile detention for severely beating another young boy for bullying and taunting a close friend of his (see:crush). Being raised by a single mother with two younger siblings, a mother who'd rather drink or do drugs to escape her own problems didn't help in the rehabilitation of the troubled teen. Fighting, stealing and making quick cash to feed the less than poor quartet was all he'd known.

The cards seemed to be turning in the delinquent's favor. At the young age of nine he was transferred to a school for the rich and incredibly intelligent, and the Jin family hadn't been rich at all, but Kai's smarts were enough to send him to the school two cities away. He leapt his way to the top of the class, a studious student that teachers tended to coddle because of his class status. Students followed suit and his entire school career in the prestigious system was a revolving door of detention and suspensions.

But as Kai got older, there was more of an issue at hand, the raising of the siblings his mother brought into the world and the money that didn't come with them. As the teen entered high school his life turned into school days and nights on the streets doing whatever he could to bring home a meal. A lot of the young ghoul's anger grew, losing a lot of his childhood to children  he didn't have and for awhile he didn't want. An anger and grudge he had with his mother, even still holding her up in everyway possible. Many nights holding her hair back or making her vomit on his own, holding her while she cried or icing bruises, as if his mother was one of his own children and not the mother to them all.

The ghoul looked for a distraction, he and the other delinquents forming some sort of garage band, and who knew they’d actually be good? But his distractions didn’t stop with the song writing and the vibration of a drumset beneath his fingertips, it fell into the arms of a Chosen Child not so up to his speed, not that he minded. He’d let his friends be the ones to shield him from the life he was subjected to at home, a family of sorts trying to raise the child who not only had to raise himself, but others.

He'd never looked for his father, assuming he'd split before his mother could ever look up after his birth, and even when the well spoken, gangly man who'd seemed to linger was said to father his little sister and brother didn't cross his mind. And even when he found out that the well spoken man was his own father, he crossed his existence from his mind. Anger bubbling over at the thought of Yacht parties and Jaguars while he and his family struggled to eat daily. He chose to keep him at arms length, that he didn't need him, his money or his other family, that is until his mother's demise. He'd come home to a sobbing eight-year-old, and stoic two-year-old watching their mother's lifeless body as he trotted around a private high school.

Kai tried his best to keep them afloat on his own, using his body, or selling drugs if he needed, but the eviction notice still came after long, and Kai found himself making a very embarrassing call to the older brother he never cared to acknowledge and making his way to the Korean hub of Agdoeg to start over, a new life...maybe. But even as things seemed to shape up, the teen’s discourse with his natural hunger came blindsiding after his break up. He’d found himself being consumed by the hunger of others out of inability to control his emotions as an adolescence. Where typing code and playing video games inside a corporate building only led to him moonlighting as a killer, an animalistic instinct taking over anytime he was rattled mentally. He’s struggling to control it now, choosing to starve most days, but starving....is proving more and more difficult.

INTERVIEW QUESTION (para sample): “Just run us through what happened that night”. - Officer

A smirk crawled across Kai's lips, he crossed his arms, tattoos on display. Chuckles fell from the expression as he cocked a brow. Were they that dumb? Thinking he'd speak on it just that easy, "Nothing." He said again, finding it comical how the officer's faces fell. They all sighed, he'd been in the interview room for hours now but he hadn't broke.

He'd been behind the scenes most of it, toggling through the camera's he hacked into to gain access , he watched the gangs every move, from the moment they entered the bank to the moment they crawled back through the ceiling. He'd been the one to turn the alarms off, disable the code needed to get into the vault and sat back and sipped a redbull as they cleaned out the safety deposit boxes.

"I was at home, with my....I wont say boyfriend, the whole night," the half ghoul gave them another smile, "I'll spare you the details, but we had nothing to do with anything, I haven't seen nothing, heard nothing or touched nothing so if you'd unlock these cuffs I'll make my way home, I do have work in the morning, dickheads."

[tdrcycle09]

Main Challenge #8 - Suspecting a Clue?

This week, the girls were guilty for being sickening inspirations of the suspects from the iconic board game Clue/do! Let’s see how well the girls did!

Analyse Thropic | Proffessor Plum

Prof. Patricia Plum didn’t expect murder to be on the agenda at tonight’s dinner party, but at least she brought gloves to cover up those red hands. She’s head of the art history department at the local uni and has for years been using her immense knowledge of art to create counterfeit paintings that sell for millions. Of course, she enjoys the other perks of her position… countless numbers of desperate academics beneath her, and sometimes on top of her. Someone at the dinner party is going to expose Plum’s fraud and affairs, so she takes matters into her own hands.

For this look, I took inspiration from the game piece color for Prof. Plum and created a look in purples with a silhouette inspired by the late 40s and early 50s, specifically the Dior “New Look” with a cinched waist, accented bust, and wide hips with a long pleated skirt. I was worried about this skirt, because I knew I was going to have to make it, and it was my first time working with a non-stretch fabric, creating pleats, and installing a zipper, but hey, it stayed on! I liked the character of Prof. Plum, because if you look at the Clue(do) canon, there are so many varying backstories that I decided to just create my own of the promiscuous and corrupt art history professor.

Lila:  You had a great start to the week with your ideas for the challenge, then you kind of panicked and it kind of affects your work when you panic, trust and believe. There are certain elements of this costume that are really beautiful, I love your skirt, really shocked that again, 5 months back you hadn’t touched a sewing machine in your life. It’s probably the closest to the New Look style you were going for, and the gloves aren’t killing me anytime soon either. Your makeup is quite stunning, I appreciate the kind of shift to try and do a more natural look since judges start to nag and beckon you to try something different with your makeup and it’s looking really refined. My biggest upset is that you chose to not use a hat - like, point one, hair that sits laying low and long it’s not cute if you don’t have a feature of a hat or turn it into an updo - like I started to cut out hats from magazines and placed them over your images on the screen to try and make it look better and honestly, adding something like that would’ve really, *really* tighten this together. I’m also hella upset that you used a cardigan - like unless it’s lazy drag for a mini challenge or if you’re going out as a joke and you bought this one crochet dress for like two dollars, really I frown upon cardigans in main challenges. Your monologue was okay, I wish you didn’t put a harsh filter of police lights over it and did have the camera on a tripod or something, the Trisha Paytas hasn’t left you from last week it seems. I think it’s just that since there’s 6 of you left, we’re wanting to hone down on the competition and get you guys to really touch base as soon as the challenge starts - have 3 ideas going into the challenge at LEAST. Remember, you won the first mini challenge regarding concepts and we don’t care if you can’t draw, it’s better than having a wall of text giving us a looser depiction of your concept than Toni’s donut hole. Overall, this was an okay job, Analyse - you’ve shown us that you can do great in look challenges, but unfortunately this one was a miss.

Gluttoni:  Anal, I’d definitely eat your plum. You look extremely beautiful in these hues of purple and I’m gagged your sewed this full, beautiful skirt. I totally understand the subtlety you tried to provide but nothing about this look is awe-inspiring. I just think you could have really took it there with more accents and accessories. You of course look great as blonde but I’m going need to see more control regarding your lace line in the future. I like the really blended, simple smokey eye but I honestly just want more detailing from you. (Break out that clon white for that brow bone henny!) Coming off of your last win, I’ve just come to expect more from you.  Give me more.

Letha:  Analyse, for someone who hasn't made a pleated skirt before, you seem do have done quite well! I'm just a bit pressed how you ended up covering the best part of the skirt with that frumpy cardigan. It spills over the cinched waist and does very little for your shape. The lines for the New Look had to be very clean and structured, and I'm just not getting that with this look. The cardigan just isn't fitted enough, and the sleeves could have been rolled flatter/neater if you didn't want to cut/hem them. I love the overall color scheme, and the pop of the red lip was a nice touch (God, if this wasn't the week for a red lip, idk what would be). The makeup is softer and smokier, which I obviously resonate with, and I quite like it. The lip shape is fun too, watch the messiness of the lines, though. I will say I don't like the nose very much, you were going for a button nose I think, but made the button too low and it just looks off. The hair is OKAY, like it's a good color and I'm sure the bag you popped it out of was nice, but it's not blowing me away. Having the hair so simple could have been saved by a nice purple hat, but it's just a bit bare up top. The monologue wasn't my favorite either. It could have been camped up a bit more, knowing you, and it felt like you were holding back. All in all, I feel like this wasn't your best week.

Toni: Lets just address the elephant in the room, this look isn’t everything it could have been and is below your standard look wise. I really like things about it, the glasses, jewerly, skirt, gloves, but the top really comes in and kinda dumbs everything down for me. I think had there been maybe some jewels on the buttons or something to make them more defined as well as maybe a collar to accent the  top and make it a bit more formal dress (because you are a professor). I also would have loved to see a big hat with feathers and flowers to really help even out the shape of the skirt. Onto the video I thought it was really funny with a nice twist at the end but my only complaint is the way you filmed it seemed messy and very much like a Trisha video but not in a good way. Step it up babe!

Cyber:I LOVE this costume Analyse but the overall look feels unbalanced to me.  I wish that you had an extravagant hat to match your skirt or had gone with an updo instead of just wearing your hair down.  Your monologue, however, was fantastic and had me ROLLING.  Wonderful job this week!

Travisty: Analyse,this puffy skirt works so very well for your character!,it's such a shame to see it paired with that cardigan which I feel really pulls the whole overall look down,it's kinda dated but the rest of your character gives me allot more glamourous vibes. Your monologue however was one of the more memorable ones, it gave me genuine Chris Crocker vibes in all the right ways,with just a nice pinch of comedy in there at the end well done.

Avana Noir | Mrs. White

hey bitches, THAT BITCH TONI HAD IT COMING, long story short, i got mrs white as my character and i wanted to base of her from the movie and during the 1940's. i wanted to go for this elegance gown, which is totes not in my style of clothing BUT it worked! i also like added stones and fur to my gloves and of course my dress. i honestly live for this and hope you do to! I CINCHED TO ( sorry no padding :c )  SO IF I SEE " where yo bod" ima fight all of y'all. thank you so much for literally everything <3 thank you ( p.s- idk who's wig this is, never heard of her)

Lila:  Remember when I said I nearly lost all hope in you last week? Hope RESTORED. The elements of this outfit surely come together in a way that puts Mrs. White in tandem with the version from the film Clue rather than the board game which is fine with me. The accented fur really screams Mrs. White while the styling from your face to your hat and hair shape scream Mrs. White but from the film. Just for future reference, if the bottom hem of your dress is hitting your ankle, you need to either change your shoe height or, in this case, tack on a piece of fur to the bottom to give it that extra-ness of it all. I feel like we’re never gonna get you with a piece of hair that fits, which is why I’m bringing it up constantly. You need to start messaging us about hair because now that it factors in more scoring points than in previous weeks you’ve gotta hone in on areas that you’re not used to doing. I get you on the hair part, hair is usually a last thought for me if I wasn’t planning a look in a sketchbook or anything, but since the first things I draw are the face and the hair, that should be the first thing or essentially the biggest thing that should strike you in the next look challenges. You and your friend are like Yolanda Gamp and her friend (she makes cakes on YouTube and the two together are like the most hilarious thing ever) but it doesn’t help when you try to give a dramatic monologue and we hear snickers and cackling. Please consider this every time you record, because I know your friend does a lot of recording and stuff for you so if we hear cackling and sniffling over your voice it’s like “Oh my god, there’s a ghost in her house that doesn’t want her to win this challenge”. Overall, I loved your look this week, good job!

Gluttoni: Avana, GUUURRRLLL! This is by far the best I’ve ever seen you look. Hands down! You makeup has improved immensely and now I’m seeing what a beauty you are. The eyes are blended well, the contour and lips are right! Keep on flourishing for the world to see because I definitely notice the growth now. The accents to the outfit work really well and  the silhouette is pretty spot on. Remember gowns should hit the floor.  Avana we getting close to the finish line so homie I need you to end this out strongly so don’t doubt yourself and fucking push it. Otherwise you really put on a show for us all this week.

Letha:  Avana! So from the tits up, I really like the look (though contouring on some tiddies would help sell the body a bit more). The hat is great and the makeup is pretty good too. I like the idea of the bob hair cut, it's very Mrs. White from the movie as well, but when you wear a bob it had better be PERFECT, with some freeze spray holding those hairs in the exact shape, but this one needed a bit more of a brush before calling her done. I like the idea of the fur trim on the top of the dress, but looks a bit sloppy on the gloves and could have been smaller and neater, but the black dress itself is quite lackluster for me. If it's going to be as simple as a black dress, I needed some SHAPE, as in cinching and padding. The current shape now is okay, but I'm just not terribly struck by it. The length looks to be about right, though. The monologue fell apart a bit for me, you repeated yourself a lot and it seems as if you aren't really committing, even for the short time of the monologue. All in all, it's okay.

Toni: I really love this look on you! I think it is very on par with Mrs.white as a character and it’s very fitting for the time period you picked. I would have loved to see this with a more dramatic shape (bigger boobs, hips, chinched) as well as maybe with your arms shaved girl. I think that the gloves would have been perfect had they been pushed down a little. Onto the performance it was very cute and campy but seemed very… unthought out, kinda like your were improvising it as you filmed. I think if you had a script you went over a few times and had kept your friend from laughing it would have made your video so much better.  You need to work on fine tuning things to be a bit more polished.

Cyber:This is a beautiful costume, Avana, and I especially love the fur trim.  I wish you'd have incorporated some white onto your hat and the bottom of your dress to add more balance but, overall, the look is great!  The purple hair did feel out of place to me, though, and I would have gone with a black or white to complete your theme.  I felt like the first half of your monologue was great but the second half felt like you lost control of your character.  The background noise really drew me out of following your performance this week as well.

Travisty:  Im kinda pleased to see that you decided to not go full on over the top white for your character,it's a tricky one as full white with a fur can sometimes look cheap if it’s not done correctly,the neckline you have cut into the fur here really suits you!.in your monologue I felt detached and the mild focus on your pearls and jewelry was a bit confusing I felt like had you worn a more elaborate necklace to match the stoned gloves then it would of really pulled the look off allot more, I actually really enjoyed watching your monologue.however had it been less of a strange blur of serious and comedic and had you avoided looking away from the camera then it would've felt much smoother.

Lexi Lamour | Miss Scarlet

Yeah, that's right! It was I, Miss Scarlet, who killed Lila and Mr. Millesime! With a candlestick! In the lounge! After she found out I was the one who killed her husband I just couldn't let her rat me out. So....I took my chance and offed her after the dinner party had dispersed. I stayed behind after the guests were released from the dinner party because I knew Lila was on to me. I attacked her and as she tried to crawl away I followed her and finished her off before she could tell and confessed to murdering poor Mr. Millesime. He caught on to the fact that I wanted the crown. It's just a shame Lila got caught up in the mix. Hi, Judges! I picked Miss Scarlet for myself because I wanted to show a red look...and I felt more of a vibe from this character....it helps that she's always the first player/character to go in the game, *wink*. I was inspired by the 30's sample looks Lila shared with us and the fact that shes described as a young, cunning, and highly attractive femme fatale... So, I went with an old hollywood gown and a headpiece to match on top of a classic short and dark finger wave hairstyle....like a young HollyWood starlet. For the makeup I went soft and feminine much of the time period. For my confession video...I took it from a different point of view. The camera angle is from that of poor Lila as she lay dying. I thought it would be interesting to have the killer coming out of the shadows. Like an "Oh my goodness! Who is coming? Who is the killer?!" kind of feel. I wanted it to be more of a creepy scene/story and not just confessing into a camera. I'm crazy in love with my concept and look this week and this is by far my favorite thing I've done.

Lila:  From what you told us, you were going to do this wide sleeved, fitted silhouette inspired by Claudette Colbert, a more classic touch which I see elements from, but like to the tune of Lexi - some people got caught up in the option of dressing for a character, while you stayed true to your own character and said “what Lexi would look like if ….” which I commend. This is such an alluring look in the essence that you have all red everything - and had the black hair to contrast with it. The fascinator is such a nice touch and really adds high drama to the outfit. The pulling back on giving colour to your cheeks a la blush was a smart decision in this concept - there’s a lot of red everywhere else so you didn’t wanna look like a mascot for like, strawberry yoghurt of something, which I commend you for. On the topic of makeup, your nose is starting to get a little bit wider - always reference what I consider your strongest week for makeup - your Pokemon Leader week - and be like “okay, I’m gonna do this with the eye, and then pull the lips out into a more Fay-Baker look” just for when you pair looks with your makeup. Your monologue was okay, it wasn’t gagworthy in terms of acting and I think you need to remind yourself to have fun with it - You managed to cinch a win in acting before and with you being a bit of an overthinker, you have to say “I’m gonna have fun with this, I’m gonna deliver and snatch their attention”. Overall, I loved you this week, great job!

Gluttoni:  What a fucking starlet you are Lexi. I’m gonna keep this short and brief because you completely slayed this. I love the headpiece but maybe would have simplified it a little since the gown is so grand . So grand that I’m making something extremely similar to this but then again great minds think alike. The short hair was a perfect choice to complete this very grand dame look and the red is very very stunning. Definitely a trigger color of mine. My only advice I could give is get warm toned bronzer to even out the gray of your contour and a better chest contour would be amazing with this neck line. Beautiful work as always though Lex.

Letha:  Lexiiiiiii, I hate to use the "s" word, but I cant help it. I'm shook. It's a classical, striking silhouette, and when you chose Miss Scarlet, you really went for it. It's truly stunning. I also really love the headpiece, it's a focal point for the outfit an it wasn't overdone. I love how the makeup is scaled back to let the outfit shine, except for the pop of red (I'm also digging your lip shape this week, it's concealing the natural lip line a bit better, in my opinion. The monologue was also quite good, I loved the bit at the end. It was less confessional style and a bit more "found footage PoV" but it still really worked. I really don't have too much to say this week because it was honestly so good. Fantastic job this week!

Toni: I’m glad someone has got their fire back because… you’re red hot! I really do adore this look and I don’t think I have any complaints about it (although the cape could be held on in a better fashion) I do wish there was a pendant necklace like gaga had when she wore that beautiful silver gown. The makeup is stunning, i’m glad you fixed your lips for this week, jut watch the nose contour. I really like that you took your video in a direction that no one else thought of, it was creative and really stood out. Good job this week.

Cyber: B I C T H.  This costume is absolutely gorgeous and I'd like one in every color.  THIS is the Lexi that won three weeks in a row.  I really don't have much constructive criticism for you other than I wish your eyes were smoked out a bit more and your lips maybe a tad more defined (with a darker red).  As for your monologue I'm honestly in the same boat.  I literally had to pause about two seconds in because you came ready with an INTRO which caught me entirely off guard.  You brought back the excellence this week and really hit me with that candlestick - wonderful job!

Travisty:  YES.I really do love this outfit and your makeup is so well balanced with it, it's so dramatic while avoiding being too costumey, your monologue was nicely shot with a great idea however I feel like the execution wasn't as strong as you can be, but I got more of a sense of your character from the runway which was really nice to see. Overall I really enjoyed this look had your monologue not brought you down slightly I would of loved the whole shazam!

Marcella Fox | Colonel Mustard

Hello Judges! This week I was given Colonel Mustard for my inspiration. For my chosen vintage era, I took inspiration from 1940’s formal-wear, and put together a look befitting of both my Cluedo character and the time period. As some of you know, even just finding stuff the right colour was a task and a half for me this week! But I scrambled in charity shops and borrowed from friends, and this is what I came up with! The resulting look borrows from both male and female formal attire from the 40’s - The blazer in particular I felt alluded to Colonel Mustard’s hunting outfit, so I added a couple of pheasant feathers to match. The hair and sunglasses are very vintage-looking, and I put on some lace gloves to go with the skirt and class it up a bit. I tried to evoke the era in my make-up as well, with an understated but plump burgundy lip, and rounded, slightly smokey eyes. Overall I’m pleased with the result, it’s definitely the best I could manage under the circumstances.

Lila:  From the get go, I knew it’d be a struggle for you. After telling us how much yellow you could find I was ready to run down to Derby and throw dresses at you, honestly. But like, I didn’t have to - because you, once again, delivered one HELL of a strong look here, honestly. You kind of prove that you don’t have to have such a strong, bright ass colour to be like “look, I’m Colonel Mustard, bang bang you ded” and to be honest, you played with just the right amount of colour to sell to us your character. I see Bette Davis and Marlene Dietrich in this look, really strong bad ass women who would start fucking riots to get what they want and what they deserve. I love how there’s an element of Noire in your choice of undergarments, the hints of black in your look really make the yellows not only pop but also give this look a hell of a lot of power. Your monologue, you’re always gonna be one of the better actresses of the bunch, no doubt about that - I would’ve done more of a shrieking yell about killing someone, you seemed quite timid at first when you admitted to it. I think between this, your Art week, and your Gym Leader week, this has got to be your best look to date. Great Job!

Gluttoni:  Marcella. You by far had my favorite monologue of the bunch because you were well spoken and clear in your intention as that really put you over the edge for me. You just come of as very charming and I think that will take you very far in the drag. Your loo was pretty stellar for me because you give off the essence of an old Hollywood actress with the talent to really back it up. I feel like I say this to you often but I honestly don’t have any critiques but I do have a challenge for you doll. Next week I want to see a adventurous look and mug to match. Take me to another world henny. Amazing work from you this week.

Letha: Miss Marcella Mustard! This look is once again, fashion. It's simple but striking, a bit like how you struck Antonina with your little yellow car. You were given a very hard color/character, in my opinion, but made it work for you. The hair and lips add the perfect pops of color and compliment the look. The beat and hair style are stunning, no complaints from me. The accessories are nice, but I do feel that the feathers on the shoulder compete with your hair a bit (I feel like putting them on a little hat/fascinator would have worked, especially for this week). The elements of black help to ground the look and make it more cohesive, and the gloves are a nice touch (especially because we know your thoughts on nails). You video was very noire, the filter added a lot, and was well acted, so props on that. Great job this week!

Toni: This is honestly the most stunning you’ve ever looked. The makeup is just really feminine and classically beautiful. The hair is styled so it really highlights your face and gives you a nice shape. I really love the way you’ve styled the jacket and under it because it reads a bit masculine and really fits your character while still being drag. I think the skirt throws me off a little but I’m not really mad at it. I think my only complaint for the look would have been to take off the gloves or the tights and show a little skin just to break up the black. I really enjoyed your video I think it was funny, but still gave us realistic old hollywood vibes which I really enjoyed. Good job this week.

Cyber:Marcella you are SO beautiful and this look is screaming Bette Davis at me.  I honestly want to snatch this hair from you.  Something about the jacket and dress clash for me but, overall, I really do love this look and think it  was well executed.  Your monologue was also one of my favorites this week and I thought everything from your scripting to your presentation and acting were on point - great job, darling!

Travisty: This character got me completely involved with the monologue I love it,you really brought it to life  right down to your eye makeup the hints of colonel mustard were subtle but executed strongly enough to make it work, had you went full on mustard everything it could of been difficult to love and take seriously so well done, this hair is also perfect for your character and  just adds to it all. Your runway was a great introduction to the mannerisms and ect. You really made that walk say allot about you, this was really strong well done!

Phoebe St. Jefferson | Reverand/Mr. Green

Hi judges! This week I got Mr Green, a fat balding priest and i made him into a sexy woman. She is on the town ready to spread the word of jesus christ. She may only be a house wife, but she is ready to take on the world. She is loving life in 1935 June but also October in New York, just between monday and friday after noon but also just in time to see the sunrise before lunch. She just wanted something simple, but extravagent, something a little old, but brand new, but made to look old, but also made by hand, last summer 1942.

For my dress I got this cute thing from a thrift shop. I thought it fit in my era and was really cute. I wore gloves and jewels. For my hat I couldnt find one that fit so I said fuck it and made it myself. I used carboard and fabric and lot of hot glue. I like it but its already falling apart lol. I also made a cross necklace to finish off my character and used a book i bought for school but never read to use as a bible. My confession makes no sense but I thought it was kind of funny.

Lila: All these outfits so far have been so strong and yours is no different! Your pairing with black this week works really nicely and it’s nicer to see your hair up rather than it being down. I love your silhouette, I do wish there was some sort of petticoat underneath the skirt to give it more of a flare out, however I digress. The things that are bringing you down this week are your monologue and your makeup. A nude lip would’ve have done miles more better than a red lip for this look, in my opinion. The red’s just not doing anything for me, and I feel as if you’re doing your lips with just lipstick rather than using a liner to sketch out the shape before you overdraw them. Your eyebrows look amazing here, and your eye makeup too, so when you give us precision like you have with those elements, try to translate that precision with your lips too. For your monologue, I mean, it’s getting lost in translation with how scared you look and feel on camera. You need to hone in on your audition tape again, look at yourself talking and making jokes, because you are a funny queen, it just doesn’t translate when you’re given the prompt to be funny or act. It’s such a difficult thing to learn to translate jokes or acting into something that you don’t normally do to be funny, but this competition either makes or breaks that type of person. If this week was an earlier week, say Top 10 or 9, it would’ve been a good week, but since we’re down to just 6, it’s getting tougher and tougher to choose where people stand.

Gluttoni:  You were mint to be in this competition Phoebe ! Hah get it? But seriously I’m so astonished with the strides you are making in your drag. This probably my favorite face you’ve ever done and you look beautiful. The look is very fitting and your monologue was fairly decent but I’m just vying for more from you. Nothing about this submission really stands out and with strong competitors in the competition I fear for you. Show everyone you are here to win because with the strong work ethic that you have I Know you can totally pull through.

Letha:  Pheebs! I actually quite like this look. You picked a character and really stuck with it throughout your whole creative process. The coat/dress thingie was a PERFECT thrifting find, and I think it really makes your look. Any more green would have been a bit garish for me, considering the brief you were given, so having the rest of the look be black was a smart choice. For your makeup, I will say I really enjoy this eye shape on you, but your nose contour is a bit muddy and ill-defined, and your cheek contour starts too low (a good rule of thumb is to start where the top of your ear connects to your head, maybe a bit lower than that but not much, yours is starting at the bottom of your ear). The red lip makes sense as it compliments green, but the top/bottom lips are a bit not proportional, as the top one is a LOT bigger than the bottom, so I would work on getting them a bit more even. As for the video, it went a bit off the rails into kooky-land and didn't make the MOST sense, but it was cute (also, thanks for killing me, bitch). Overall, good job!

Toni:I really love the way this is styled and the way it lays on your body. I think breaking up the green wass a smart move because it does look as if ti was a wall of green. I think if you had a bit more padding in the breast the top part would look more filled out while still allowing it to drape. I think  makeup wise you could have thinned your nose out a bit more and made your lips a bit cleaner (maybe giving ti a more cupid bow shape), but I do fine the eyes very striking and In a good way. Your video was a very cute start but I felt that to the end it shook the boat a bit too much and became a bit lost over all. 

Cyber: I'm kind of in love with this dress, Phoebe, and the overall presentation of your character was very cute!  Unfortuantely I feel like, compared to the other girls, you didn't quite give us enough oomph to really shine in the overcast of their shadows.  The idea behind your monologue was honestly very solid but the delivery didn't quite sell it to me.  There were a few words you tripped over and I didn't ever really believe anything you were saying.  You have to make sure to commit yourself 100% when you're playing off a character or it has a great chance to fall flat to those around you.  Compared to week three when I last saw you tackle a character role you felt much more held back for me.

Travisty:  I  really like how you've thought alot about who your character is and this really shows, does it show quite enough to stop you from being kinda overshadowed by the other girls? Sadly Maybe not. The runway felt a bit disjointed and at times had too much going on that sadly didn't actually help me understand more about your character and just kinda felt like you were doing these movements and actions just to fill time.your monologue however did have a really strong idea behind it and it would've been nice to see this almost campaign like “kill your husbands” idea start much sooner in the clip as this could of been developed much further , however Im pleased to see you took my advice on your makeup it's made your face look allot more balanced.

Sugar Monroe | Mrs. Peacock

Hiiiieeee! So, I was assigned Mrs. Peacock and I chose to give you 50’s Peacock dinner party realness. From the hair, to the fur stole, to the poodle skirt inspired tulle skirt, this look is my interpretation of Mrs. Peacock in the 50’s. Enjoy. :)

Lila: When you do empire waists with the skirt and short sleeve, ALWAYS LOOK AT THIS FOR REFERENCE - because this is STELLAR. Your styling this week is so impeccable and you gave this like renaissance to a character while staying true to yourself. Really, the hair makes or breaks your looks with the silhouettes like this - I enjoy this so much. While my pet peeve is that your blues here are holographic, having that tinge of green and silver making them really off kilter and making me go “huh?”, I look at the peacock feathers placed in your hair and go “OH.” because they are the sort of colours to come out of that variation of feather and it’s just, UGH. Sugar, you make me so proud that this uphill battle of you trying to fight critiques saying your pedestrian and fighting that uphill battle of the competition is slowly starting to benefit you so much, like it’s so impressive. Your makeup, holy shit - like this is your best by far. You literally look like a painted porcelain doll and it’s like I’m looking at visual art. My only critique is that, point A, your black bodice is looking more like an undergarment, billow up more of the stole to douse your blouse (cackles) in glorious white fur, and point B, your monologue had an instance of when you hesitated and nearly broke out of your character when you paused before saying “Fucking stabbed her” because your little transatlantic accent was quivering, take care to rehearse it with the accent or shoot twice incase it happens again. Overall, great work this week!

Gluttoni:  SUGAR. You look incredibly stunning and honestly the best you’ve ever looked. This is a fantastic look if I’m honest. I love the metallic aspects along with that glorious hair. Can’t say you’re holding back anymore but I was underwhelmed by your characterization and confession. That isn’t to say you did badly thould but it's such a tight race at this point. Sugar give these last weeks your all.

Letha: Hey Sugar! So, what I like about this look. I love the hair, it's perfectly coiffed, and I love the makeup, the color story makes sense with your character. The props and accessories are also a nice touch (I did notice the feather wasn't in your pictures, but was in your videos, so maybe some difficulties arose with it).  As for the outfit, between the stole and your silhouette, the shape gets a bit lost, and there isn't really enough COLOR for a character named Mrs. Peacock, in my opinion. I wish the tulle skirt had some more blue in it, because both the light pink skirt and the lighter colored stole really dominate the look and make it sort of blah to look at. I think even adding that same trim around the bottom of the skirt that you used to make the stripe at the waist would have been cool, or even some appliques, like a real poodle skirt. When it came to the video, the joke was there, but it got a bit repetitive (you said the P-word a LOT), and the accent was pretty inconsistent. Overall, I really do see your growth and improvement since we started together, but knowing what you had to work with, you could have done more.

Toni: Girl that hair slays my gay ass, it’s so beautifully sculpted and first your character so well, and I love that you added a bit of peacock feather to it. I have really mixed feelings about this look, because on one hand I really like it, but on the other hand It doesn’t really read peacock at all. I think if you had done a full skirt in a green or blue it would have really rounded out the look to show us who you were, without totally changing the imagine you had planned. The eyes and lips are both very very stunning but I do think you could have blended your highlight and contour a bit more so there aren’t such harsh lines. Also ima just throw a clock at that arm hair cause she wasn’t invited to lilas clue party ;). I think performance wise it was cute, and well acted but there is a bunch of background noise that really distracted from the performance itself overall I think you really need to focus on fine tuning ideas so that they come out flawlessly.

Cyber: THIS HAIR BITCH.  But for me that was really the only big standout about this costume.  I love it, absolutely, but aside from a few pops of teal and a feather in your hair it didn't scream "Mrs. Peacock" to me.  However I LOVED your monologue this week.  Though your accent was... suspicious... your delivery was spot on and your absolutely expressionless face until the giggle at the end was absolutely perfect.  The only thing that ruined it for me was the background noise - it made it very hard to concentrate on your performance and, similarly to Avana, it really drew me out of it.

Travisty:  Your hair is amazing and perfect era wise,I adore the subtle hints of peacock that arent overpowering but certainly help deliver your character and pairs with your makeup really well, your runway however felt a little dead behind the eyes and did not evoke any emotion likewise with your monologue, however it was well executed  just somewhat emotionless, I feel like if this was intentional in order to show that you really didn't care less that you killed her, then this could of been made more obvious with facial expression and avoiding glancing off camera as this can make things less believable and often disconnects the viewer, I genuinely really love your contour here though, impressive look just a few letdowns that could have been avoided in pulling you down.

[jacksgreysays]

fake fic, dos, "seven deadly sins"

Seven Deadly Sins

Even heroes have flaws. Team Seven just happens to have more than most.

Oh anon, this has to be an extended Team Seven character study right? Like with each of the members as a respective deadly sin. I mean, I don’t know what else would match so perfectly? Let me just figure out which character is which sin, I guess?

I mean, I suppose it doesn’t necessarily have to be canon DoS extended Team Seven. Perhaps this is set in the Friendship Is A (Mutual) Con ‘verse? Regardless it’d still be character studies of sorts, perhaps different POVs of a greater heist/mission…

Actually, yeah lets go with that.

It starts with Sai, dressed up as a waiter with a platter of hors d'oeuvres. Gluttony. In his mind he’s thinking about how he’s empty. How he’s always hungry. No matter what he does or what he eats it all just tastes like ink on his tongue. Nothing can sate him. He’s a yawning black hole that consumes and consumes.

He holds the platter out, watches as a man takes one unheedingly and begins to eat. Begins to choke. The hors d'oeuvres have scallops in it and the man is allergic to shellfish. The man also has access to the building’s security system.

It’s okay, there’s a medical student in the crowd, she can mitigate the allergic reaction, and if she hands off the man’s key card to Sai while opening his shirt collar so he can breathe? Well, who notices the waitstaff?

Paramedics show up, take the man away–just in case–and Sakura is the darling of the gala just as planned. “Your necklace is beautiful,” she says to the CEO who comes to thank the hero of the hour in person.

Envy for Sakura, then. At having to play distraction. At having to stay in this relatively safe and boring role. DoS or not, she wanted to be more involved. She wants to be a proper field agent, like Shikako, wants to be where the action is not outside as decorative and useless as a flower.

Better than getting ogled and groped by ladies (and men) old enough to be his grandparent, Sasuke thinks, drifting closer and closer to the guarded doors. Lust. Probably some wordplay to make that bloodlust, too, because while he can’t exactly go around punching rich old ladies (and men) at the very least he gets to “drunkenly” fight the security team, enough for the rest of Team Seven to go through.

He gets a very stern talking to, which ought to have been getting booted out of the gala, but he does look very nice in his suit so…

Over the comms, Naruto laughs, his own outfit less formal and more “cat burglar.” Sai has control of the cameras, has been narrating the goings on of everyone for intel and for fun, as well as some of the alarms, but there’s a field of lasers and pressure sensors that can only be turned off in the morning or by a panel on the other side of the room. It’s okay, Naruto’s got this. Pride. He’s the best.

After a no doubt amazing montage of Naruto breakdancing out of the way of lasers and disarming the room for Shikako to scuttle through. There’s a vault and between the two of them they open it quickly. Inside the vault, though… they’re only supposed to take the contents of one of the boxes–the one Kakashi-sensei told them to–but somewhere in here are the blueprints for prosthetics that have been bogged down by red tape because it’s not profitable enough. Greed. She needs it for her brother.

Cut to Tenzou, arm around another guard’s neck, slowly lowering them to the ground as they fall unconscious. Sloth. He’s only supposed to be back up, doesn’t approve of this job really, why are they taking so long? They should have been in and out minutes ago.

And along comes Kakashi, sauntering in, subtly waving Sasuke and Sakura away. Eying one of the security cameras, knowing Sai will pass on the order. He wasn’t supposed to be on site, not really. It’s his job but he’s too emotionally invested. This was the company that killed Obito–and Rin, years later, when she began asking too many questions. Kakashi goes to the CEO and dispenses his Wrath.

… So… if you’ve ever watched Leverage (which I highly recommend, it’s on Netflix and maybe Hulu too?) you probably know exactly what I’m imagining here…

[springbender-blog]

RULES: Always post the rules. Answer the questions asked, then write 11 new ones. Tag 11 people to answer your questions, as well as the person who tagged you.

I was tagged to do this FMA-centered tag by both @greedoda and @ladywiltshire, thank you soooooooo much!!

I kinda don’t want to do this twice though, so I’m going to take my favorite 5 questions from each of yours and answer those - I hope that’s okay! There are also two questions you both had that were the same so I’ll do those too - a total of 12! You lucky nuggets.

Okay, so, the questions under a read more!.......I WROTE WAY TOO MUCH and there’s a lot of analysis....I got really really carried away. :B

Greedoda’s questions:

1. Which two characters do you think have the best dynamic in the series?

Personally, I have to say I love Ed and Ling’s dynamic? They make a great team and they’re such dorks! The couple of episodes where they’re stuck together in Gluttony’s stomach are two of my favorite episodes. As well as just, how they go from Ling pissing Ed off monumentally (I mean, he does set his “goons” and/or “lackeys” on Ed during their first meeting XD) to being just the closest bros, looking out for each other to the end (which I guess definitely includes Greed as well)! It’s a dynamic I wish we saw more of in the show, if I’m being totally honest. They’re two of my favorite characters, and all of their interactions were hysterical.

2. Would ed like milkshakes?

Actually I think it’s canon that he does!! During the episode where he’s trying to get Scar’s attention by going around and fixing things with alchemy, he’s shown afterwards drinking a milkshake with Al and laughing about how he’s “pretty sure everyone in Central knows his name by now”.

3. Favorite character development?

SCAR’S. OKAY??? SCAR’S. Don’t even get me started, holy shit. We, as the audience, start by thinking of him as just this cold blooded murderer, then we realize he’s Ishvalan, which gives him motive, but we still don’t particularly like him, you know? But that’s only in episode five! 

Throughout the whole show we learn more and more about him, we watch him falter for killing Ed when he throws himself in front of Winry, remembering his own brother doing that for him. We see him bring along Yoki, for apparently no reason at all?? Like, Yoki just runs after him and he could kill him, especially since Yoki caused him trouble! But, he doesn’t? And then May comes along and you can see him accepting her and starting to care about her and listening to her and making sure she’s safe. You see him fight alongside Ed and Al because he HAS to, You see him bring along Marcoh despite all the things Marcoh had done to his people - despite Marcoh begging him to kill him. You see how Winry’s binding of his wound (though not forgiving him) affects him because he doesn’t think he deserves it. You see how his attitude is changed further by Miles, until, by the end, he’s honestly one of Ed and Al’s strongest allies. He rallies a group of Ishvalans to help during the Promised Day. And then joins Miles in trying to reform Amestrian’s view of his culture - HOW CAN YOU NOT LOVE SCAR I DON’T EVEN. !!!!???

4. Favorite villain?

Okay, I’m honestly not sure if Greed counts, so other than him, definitely Envy. I just love that good-for-nothing garbage lizard. *shaking head* They’re so complex!! I think a lot of has to do with their attitude - the sarcasm and condescending yet cheery tone of voice they always sport makes them oddly endearing and funny, despite how much a terrible person they are. And then to find out all of this hides tons of insecurities because they’re jealous of humans. They pretend to be so much and so powerful and unstoppable but they feel like the most inferior worm (and they are - literally). I just...yeah I love their character!

5. What fma merch do you want, or wish existed?

I REALLY WANT AN FMA BLANKET. Like, just something simple, like red with the main crest on it, or something. I know they exist! I also really want a poster!

And now for the Lady’s:

1. Do you remember your first time watching or reading Fullmetal Alchemist? What was your first impression? 

I remember the first time I ever saw it (not watched), I was passing my sister on our home computer. I distinctly remember seeing a young girl in pink with a lot of braids and a tiny panda bear making something glow like blue lighting (*choking noises*) and I asked my sister what it was and she said “Fullmetal Alchemist” and I was like “Oh” and brushed it off because she’d talked about it before but I wasn’t interested? (wtf was my problem??). But maybe a few months later my friend watched it and at that point I just had to. The hype was real when I finally started, and the hype was even bigger for Brotherhood. I remember being halfway through 03 and watching the first FMAB opening and just getting chills, I couldn’t wait to get to it, and boy did it live up to my expectations and more from episode one.

2. Tell me about a scene that really touched your or made you realize something about yourself.

My first thought is immediately the episode “Interlude Party”. I mean, I know that episode is pretty much just a summary of what’s happened so far, but the bits in between with Hohenheim talking to Pinako, to baby Trisha, to especially the part with Hohenheim getting overwhelmed by Father, who stands there laughing at the “puny foolish humans” who live only to die, so they may as well use them - and we can see the shadows of the dancing morphing and turning into something...else - followed by Trisha interrupting this train of thought by that’s what makes humans strong. The fact that we die. The fact that we change. And the fact that that’s what makes us so undefeatable, because we don’t give up. And this is followed up later with Envy being jealous of humans, because of this very same reason - our resilience and determination against all the forces against us, including ourselves. 

And I think that that’s so true. And that gives me strength to keep going.

3. Funniest headcanon you’ve ever seen. Go!

Okay this is definitely a tie. The first is the one where huge rumors sprout up about Ed after the Promised Day and everyone bombarding Fuhrer Mustang about all these far fetched things until Mustang finally says something like “Edward Elric is a 30-something-year-old-man living in Resembool teaching his daughter how to make apple pies” or something like that. The other is the one where Ed is in Xingese history books as “the man who fed the emperor a shoe”, for obvious reasons. That’s just. GREAT.

4. What spurred you to join the fandom?

Actually, it was totally on accident! There was a long, long part of me and my tumblr experience that believed FMAB was NOT my favorite anime. And then I started realizing, I posted a lot of it on my blog? Like, instead of random FMAB between the multifandom mash of cringe and zero tagging systems, it started to become FMA that I saw the most of on my dash and blog. And I realized, like someone had flicked me in the face, that wtf, this show is actually so important to me and where would I be without it??? 

5. Have a fandom meltdown here and tell me why you love your fandom or show/comic so much!

AAAHHH everyone here is SO nice and I’ve managed to keep my dash (mostly) discourse free! Everyone is so supportive of each other and have the same passion as I do for this show. There are SO MANY talented artists, including musical artists, which is amazing, and SO MANY funny things and funny memes that come from this fandom. I’m honestly so glad I’m a part of it, even if I don’t contribute much myself other than screeching in my tags!

And here, the two you both asked!!

1. OTPs! Who are they? Edwin is top of the list!! I’ve shipped them all the way from the beginning, and to see them come together in canon - and in such a NERD WAY - I just love them so much. I also ship Lingfan, Almei, and Royai!

2. Favorite opening/ending number and why?

My favorite opening is Opening 3, Golden Time Lover, for a L O T of reasons. The way it goes from the soft melody in the background to the much harsher tones above just convey all my feelings for it, because this opening is both soft, and rough and to me it just perfectly conveys the stories’ struggle, and the journey forward. The elements of the zooming in and out, the sweeping camera angles, and the sudden changes in the action between teasingly slow and choppily fast. There is SO much contrast in this song, and in the animation to match it. Literally, this opening is a masterpiece and thinking about it makes my heart race.

My favorite ending is Ending 2, Let It All Out. GOD THIS SONG. Wow. It just, tears at my heartstrings a little. A lot. First of all the animation is stunning. Secondly, the lyrics are just, amazing. “There’s no need to pretend you’re so strong” and “Let’s turn our pain and tears into stars”??? Jesus christ, how lovely is that?! And how it changes from half screen to full screen with the climax of the chorus. The emphasis on Ling, Lan Fan, and Fu, and  then on May, as well as Ed and Al and Winry. The way it STARTS with Winry. It just symbolizes strength in such a simple way - through the fear of what living has done, what it could do, and still being able to move forward. It’s a very powerful song to me.

OKAY! And since that took me over an hour to answer (I regret nothing and thank you both so much for giving me the opportunity to gush without restraint...) I’m not going to tag anyone or make new questions myself. Frankly, I’m too tired and my imagination is spent. XD 

I hope you all enjoyed reading this! Thanks again! Love you all!

[atypical60]

Now that I’m back from our trip to France, I can tell you what I did wrong and what I did right.

In all my years of traveling to the Cote d’Azur, you would think I had mastered the art of packing light.

I didn’t.

As usual, I overpacked.  I know, I know.  I am constantly reading about “capsule” wardrobes and it just isn’t my thing.  But I did make note of what I did wear. And I wore on repeat.  I packed five wigs and only wore two. One only two days. Do the math! I’m telling you, I really “wronged” on the packing. Big time!

Here’s what I did end up wearing and all but the navy dotted shorts were worn on repeat.

First of all, this getup was my “hanging at home” go-to.  Most dinners on the terrace were eaten wearing this tee and knit pj shorts. YES!! PJ shorts! Once a slob–always a slob!

I cleaned up well for our visits to St. Tropez. I wore this dress for every visit except on to St. Trop.  I even wore it to the funeral.  This ten-dollar dress was worn at least 7 times during the stay. Luckily I was able to wash it! 

The 11 euro bikinis.  Who cares about the soft body.  I wore these practically every day.  I ended up buying two of the paisly suit!

Another dress on repeat. And this was a whopping $16. at Primark!  I was super comfortable because I didn’t have to wear a bra with this dress! Notice the Rondini Tropezienne sandals. I wore these almost every day!

I knew we would be doing a lot of walking in Ensues and Marseille so I wore sneakers. I wore shorts and a bobbed wig too. 

This was the only other day I wore short hair. It’s Millie by Bobbi Boss and I love her!  Another braless day with this off-the-shoulder shirt and white shorts. I did wear sandals!

Same white shorts, black Rondini sandals for a dressier look!

Date night in my other ten dollar Old Navy special! I ordered two more the other day.  These swing dresses are so flattering!  

My Rondini Bikini sandals were also worn a lot!

Honestly, all the outfits I wore in the above photos were all I needed.  I wore an old Gap shift to the beach and pool as a bathing suit coverup.  And underwear. All my clothes could have fit in a carryon!

Due to circumstances beyond my control, there wasn’t a lot of time to do shopping.  But it really didn’t matter much because my goal was to purchase another pair of Rondini Sandals.

The red sandals are just as comfortable as my other Rondini sandals and ..they’re RED!!!  RED!!!!!  Shopping Goal completed!

Other shopping goals were small—more Fleur d’Oranger from Fragonard and more French music CD’s.

I stocked up on my Fleur d’Oranger Eau de Toilette at Fragonard, but also treated myself to the Fleur d’Oranger Intense. Pure Orange Blossom is my favorite scent!

Another goal was to find a great summer scent for my daughter, Oona.  She gets very bad headaches from many scents—like mother, like daughter. She’s very particular.  After over an hour of sniffing, spraying, and repeating, we decided on the Figue.  And guess what?  She loves it!!

We sent a package to Oona with the Figue eau de toilette, some samples, another scent from Adopt parfum and a Fragonard tote that she can use while grocery shopping!

I picked up another one of these totes as well. You can never have enough!

With a bit of time before our flight home, I went into the Duty-Free Longchamp shop at CDG.  I hadn’t planned on it, but ended up with an expandable travel bag.  The price at the airport was 130 euros. In USD that comes to $149.80.  The same bag retails for $255 here.  It was a great price!

This expandable travel bag is remarkably roomy and it was purchased at a great price!

Other little doo-dads included a gift for my neighbor, candy for my co-workers, my fabulous bikinis, and odds and ends.  Cosmetics was not to play into this trip.

I know it’s kitchy and tacky but I love pushing the button in the back to hear the cicadas!

Stickers for the cars,  Expandable wine totes from Nicolas..

These are great to load up on and give as a little something extra with wine bottles.

I did manage to pick up a couple of lip balms. This brand is great!

Treats for co-workers..

Think outside the box.  A menu from my favorite restaurant will be framed and hung in the kitchen!

La Ponche is the area of St. Tropez where Bonaparte spent his summers…and we purchased this inexpensive sign at the marche in St. Tropez..

Dany’s hat now hangs on the wall…to the left is one of his prints!

What I did learn was that the Tuesday Market in St. Tropez is freaking unbelievable.  My goal for next time is to purchase one of those vintage LV bags—I want one with a history!

Oops! I forgot. I picked this graphic tee up at the marche. I’ll be dressing it up with jeans and a blazer in the cooler weather!

But my goal for next year is to pick up one of these for a fraction of the cost. And they are genuine because France has very strict laws..

My shopping advice to the traveler who isn’t wealthy, but likes pleasant things (the category that I fall into). Save a few bucks each payday.  Open a small bank account and use that money for one great item that’ll give you years and years of memories.  Honestly, I look forward to my annual Rondini purchase because I now have a little collection of summer sandals—and I wear those sandals in rotation practically every day during the summer heat.  And they are unique because nobody else around these parts has them!!

WRITE. Get a journal and pens and write, write about ANYTHING that pops into your head.  Maybe you see something that brings old memories to mind.  Journal your trip because you can also use those entries as references for the future.  Take a half hour or an hour every day—it’s also a fantastic way to unwind after a busy day of touring and sightseeing.

I’ve got journals dating back ten years of trips to France!!  Writing is a great reference!

Oh, I forgot about this too!  Magazines. Gossip magazines are fun to try to decipher what is being written and a great practice is translating recipes from French into English!!  There are some gems of recipes in here!

Don’t listen to others when it comes to safety. France is incredibly safe.  Yes. France has had its share of a few attacks—but that’s nothing compared to the random murders and homicides in the USA.  Every wacko here owns a gun. The like to pontificate that it is their right to bear arms. Well, it’s my right to life and I don’t want any moron going bang-bang when I’m around!  Every day innocent Americans are the victims of murder—I call that domestic terrorism.

Not once did I feel even the slightest fear or anxiety.  And the same goes for when I’m in Paris.  It’s safe. So, don’t you let anyone tell you that it’s dangerous!  Those are the people who live their lives in fear.

The food—what can I say?  I’m paying for my sin of gluttony.  My body is saying that I gained a good eight pounds. And it is not easy to take off. So, I shall be returning to writing about weight loss.  I wronged on my diet but it felt so right!!!  Vacation is the time to indulge—and I did!

Although I tried to stick to healthy choices..

I drank too much–empty calories that went straight to my belly!

This went directly to my thighs and was so tasty that I don’t care!

Observations—the French are a race onto their own. The French tan so naturally and well.  They worship the sun. They bake like little roasted chickens on a spit.  Their skin achieves various stages of caramel.  From a light fleur de sel caramel to a more burnt caramel.  I’m jealous.  Not even a spray tan could make my skin as perfectly browned as the French.  Bonaparte is living proof.

The French Tan–is to be compared to various colors of caramels..

Perhaps I could have just used this as fake tan!!!

In fact, he told me that I don’t know how to tan correctly. I need equal time on my stomach and my back.  My answer to that is, I’ll just continue to sit under the parasol with sunscreen and fake it because I don’t want any more skin cancer!

France is also the capital of the Man Bun.  Oh, if only I had taken photos of every man bun I saw—I would have no space either in my phone or camera.  Not even iCloud could keep up with those delightful tufts of messy bun man hair! Man buns must never, ever go out of style.  I asked my sons to grow their hair long again and wear man buns.  They laughed at me.

  Man bun..

Ohhh. Soccer Manbun!

YSL Man Bun.  Best Man Hair ever!

When you take pictures, don’t take them all of yourself. Take pics of the scenery and items of interest.  If you notice, there aren’t many photos of me at all—only what I wore.  I don’t like taking photos of me when I’m traveling. I like to take photos of where I am.    Make videos fun.  Even if you are a newbie. Trust, me, this was a learning experience for my videos and now I’m hooked!

An old boat makes for an interesting photo

A lazy street

A ceiling at a restaurant made of tree branches and hats hanging down

A wedding you stumble upon–two brides, one groom?

Art work on a building.

And you don’t have to be a great photographer either. Just snap away!

That’s about it.  It’s a wrap!!!

The song I’m showing you tonight is one of the reasons that I love buying French music.  I’ve been listening to the Alain Souchon & Laurent Voulzy CD non-stop since my return and this song “Consuelo” is one of my favorites. I hope you enjoy it as much as I do!

  © 2017 Atypical60.com

  Trip Bits and Travel Tips. And Astute Observations Now that I’m back from our trip to France, I can tell you what I did wrong and what I did right.

[vicecityhq]

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WITNESS(ES) SAY HE REMINDS THEM OF: cigarette butts, the sound of a gameboy booting up, and bloody knuckles . With a slight resemblance to HWANG HYUNJIN of/the STRAY KIDZ.

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Last Name, First Name: Jin, Malachi 'Kai' ALIAS: Haise Realm of birth(if earth, nationality): Earth Age: 19 Date of Birth: October 31st, 2001 Gender: Cismale Preferred Pronouns: he/him Species: Half-Ghoul/Half-human Sexual Orientation: Pansexual

VISUAL FILE:

Skin Color: Tanned Eye color: One dark grey, the other black with a red iris Scars: plenty of them on his knuckles, one across his nose, and on his upper cheek Piercings: Up both ears, and one in his belly-button Tattoos: both sleeves of sparse stick and pokes and little tattoos, and notably large centipede up his side and around his back in red ink. Hair color: White Abnormalities: His ghoul eye Horns/ wings/ etc: Transformed form: Before he dyed his hair and when he was younger, it would turn white and his normal eye would become the same as the ghoul one. Now that he's older he transforms almost completely with centipede esk legs out his back, and a beak like structure that resembles a plague doctor mask and two extra eyes form.

PERSONAL FILE:

RELIGIOUS BELIEF:  N/A SINS:  greed  /  gluttony  /  sloth  / lust  /  pride  /  envy  /  wrath VIRTUES: chastity  /  charity  /  diligence  /  humility /  kindness /  patience /  justice KNOWN LANGUAGES: English and Below Average Korean SECRETS: He is responsible for the string of 'animal attacks' that have been happening in the camping/overnight area of the park SAVVIES:  Technology and Model Architecture, Electric Guitar, Drums, Bass, Song Writing Powers & Abilities: Ghoul Physiology Traits: prideful & protective Aesthetics: cigarette butts, the sound of a skateboard scraping across the sidewalk, and bloody knuckles

BACKGROUND CHECK:

Date of Birth: 10/31/2001 Date of Death: [ if applying for an undead character ] Crime Record: Petty theft, Assault, Assault and Battery, Robbery, Avoiding Police, Assault of a Police Officer, Fleeing the scene of a crime, Drug Possession, Tampering with Evidence, Minor in Possession, Minor in Consumption and solicitation, all expunged at 18 and done in the US. 

Background/Biography:

Malachi or 'Kai' Jin was a household name for the LAPD. There wasn't a week where the boy wasn't encountering the officers that hunkered down in the East area of the city. From shoplifting to being in possession the file the young half-ghoul began at such a young age only got bigger as the years went on. He'd even spent a spell in juvenile detention for severely beating another young boy for bullying and taunting a close friend of his (see:crush). Being raised by a single mother with two younger siblings, a mother who'd rather drink or do drugs to escape her own problems didn't help in the rehabilitation of the troubled teen. Fighting, stealing and making quick cash to feed the less than poor quartet was all he'd known.

The cards seemed to be turning in the delinquent's favor. At the young age of nine he was transferred to a school for the rich and incredibly intelligent, and the Jin family hadn't been rich at all, but Kai's smarts were enough to send him to the school two cities away. He leapt his way to the top of the class, a studious student that teachers tended to coddle because of his class status. Students followed suit and his entire school career in the prestigious system was a revolving door of detention and suspensions.

But as Kai got older, there was more of an issue at hand, the raising of the siblings his mother brought into the world and the money that didn't come with them. As the teen entered high school his life turned into school days and nights on the streets doing whatever he could to bring home a meal. A lot of the young ghoul's anger grew, losing a lot of his childhood to children  he didn't have and for awhile he didn't want. An anger and grudge he had with his mother, even still holding her up in everyway possible. Many nights holding her hair back or making her vomit on his own, holding her while she cried or icing bruises, as if his mother was one of his own children and not the mother to them all.

The ghoul looked for a distraction, he and the other delinquents forming some sort of garage band, and who knew they’d actually be good? But his distractions didn’t stop with the song writing and the vibration of a drumset beneath his fingertips, it fell into the arms of a Chosen Child not so up to his speed, not that he minded. He’d let his friends be the ones to shield him from the life he was subjected to at home, a family of sorts trying to raise the child who not only had to raise himself, but others.

He'd never looked for his father, assuming he'd split before his mother could ever look up after his birth, and even when the well spoken, gangly man who'd seemed to linger was said to father his little sister and brother didn't cross his mind. And even when he found out that the well spoken man was his own father, he crossed his existence from his mind. Anger bubbling over at the thought of Yacht parties and Jaguars while he and his family struggled to eat daily. He chose to keep him at arms length, that he didn't need him, his money or his other family, that is until his mother's demise. He'd come home to a sobbing eight-year-old, and stoic two-year-old watching their mother's lifeless body as he trotted around a private high school.

Kai tried his best to keep them afloat on his own, using his body, or selling drugs if he needed, but the eviction notice still came after long, and Kai found himself making a very embarrassing call to the older brother he never cared to acknowledge and making his way to the Korean hub of Agdoeg to start over, a new life...maybe. But even as things seemed to shape up, the teen’s discourse with his natural hunger came blindsiding after his break up. He’d found himself being consumed by the hunger of others out of inability to control his emotions as an adolescence. Where typing code and playing video games inside a corporate building only led to him moonlighting as a killer, an animalistic instinct taking over anytime he was rattled mentally. He’s struggling to control it now, choosing to starve most days, but starving....is proving more and more difficult.

INTERVIEW QUESTION (para sample): “Just run us through what happened that night”. - Officer

A smirk crawled across Kai's lips, he crossed his arms, tattoos on display. Chuckles fell from the expression as he cocked a brow. Were they that dumb? Thinking he'd speak on it just that easy, "Nothing." He said again, finding it comical how the officer's faces fell. They all sighed, he'd been in the interview room for hours now but he hadn't broke.

He'd been behind the scenes most of it, toggling through the camera's he hacked into to gain access , he watched the gangs every move, from the moment they entered the bank to the moment they crawled back through the ceiling. He'd been the one to turn the alarms off, disable the code needed to get into the vault and sat back and sipped a redbull as they cleaned out the safety deposit boxes.

"I was at home, with my....I wont say boyfriend, the whole night," the half ghoul gave them another smile, "I'll spare you the details, but we had nothing to do with anything, I haven't seen nothing, heard nothing or touched nothing so if you'd unlock these cuffs I'll make my way home, I do have work in the morning, dickheads."