#Maybe I'll draw this beast more another day

[photon-crest-art]

Weird birds I found outside today.

[honey-minded-hivemind]

🔦Rewind AU... Notes on the Mystery Character, (Genet/Cheetah/Lynx/Bobcat), by Reader (and Kevin!):

• This character is only ever mentioned, never seen (actually, an old picture of them in costume is in epsidoe *** of season ** !)

• They seem to have been younger (yeah, I think it was mentioned in passing, like, they were maybe 13 when they joined the team, but they knew them waaaay before that, kiddo!)

• They're a feral mutant, I think? (yep! Kinda like Wolverine and Sabretooth! You remember them, right, kit-cat?)

• I found an old plush of them, I believe... (haha, yeah, kit-cat! It looks great!)

• From the pattern, it appears to be in shades of gray, brown, and black, with gloves and black boots, and a mask similar to Wolverine? (right, kiddo! They even had a little tail, if I remember correctly~!) (Really?) (yeah, kit-cat, it was so adorable! i wish the other ferals had tails... it would've been so cute~!)

• They were close to a wide range of characters, or at least were known and/or acknowledged by them, even villains or side characters (who knew old Magneto and Sabretooth and Mystique could be such softies? haha, but they were, kit-cat, if only for them...)

• This character (Genet? Cheetah? Lynx? Bobcat? Lion? what was their name?) might have been related to Sabretooth? I asked Kevin if they knew, and they said they didn't exactly know, either (well, i know a bit more now, but I'll tell you another day, okay, kit-cat?)

• Their real name never pops up, and I haven't found out what it is yet... Kevin, do you know? (hmmm... let me think... I'm not sure, kiddo. Let me look into it, and I'll get back to you)

• They used to go shopping with Jubilee and Storm; on a Christmas episode, everyone was opening some presents they had left behind for everyone, that they'd gotten but didn't have the chance to give before they disappeared? died? left? It was an emotional episode, but it made me feel warm inside, too... (It WAS a good episode, kiddo! It's important to remember those closest to you~♡ And they didn't leave, they were taken!) (got it, Kevin!)

• This character was fond of classical literature and poetry, as well as collecting trinkets from nature and thrift stores (P.S. They share a lot of my tastes... huh. They seem kinda cool... I wish I knew more about them...) (don't worry, kit-cat! you know plenty, okay? you're doing great so far!)

• Apparently this character was special in some way, but Kevin won't tell me why (because it will spoil everything too early!!! i want you to be okay with it, okay?) (Okay, Kevin...)

• They uses to keep drawing books and a notebook; the episodes where they open them show some of this character's backstory, as well as their inner thoughts, some of which might be... upsetting... for younger viewers... It was a good episode, it dealt with some heavier topics, but Kevin watched it with me, so I felt better (anything for you, kiddo, anything for you)

• Scott, Jean, Wolverine, Xavier, Storm, Beast, Morph and even Jubilee each had an episode where they dealt with and worked through their grief about this missing character; it was also very emotional, but a bit less heartwarming; more somber; made me tear up a little; it was weird, why was I crying? (well, it was all very moving! it's understandable for you to cry! if you need to cry, it's okay, kiddo. just let it all out, okay? i'm here if you need me)

• There was a lost episode where the X-Men villains discussed what was going on and what they knew and felt about this missing character... It was a little strange to see them care about them, but it was kinda nice, I guess, that they weren't all bad, that they could care... (of course~! i told you this character was special, kiddo~!)

• The character had a birthday pass while they were gone, and everyone in that episode was sad, depressed, and seemed to wonder if they had let them down... except Xavier talked about how they must not focus on the past, but the future, and Cyclops said they'd keep looking for them, because it's what family does. Everyone agreed, and they had a slice of that character's favorite pie to remember them and celebrate their memory... (... ) (Kevin, are you okay?) (yeah, i'm fine, I just- it reminds me of someone, and I really miss them) (... do you want a hug?) (aaaaw, kit-cat... i'd love one, especially from you♡)

( @thewickedweiner @sugar-soda @weebwholovesuchihasasuke @danni1323 @vivid-bun What do y'all think? And who oh who could the mystery character be?) (We all know who they are, but I wanted to ask it anyway!)

[wayshadow]

More BlaCaviar/Pearlviar

I had done this a while ago, but many times I just scan the drawings and completely forget about them in my "Scan" folder. Also, lately I have been very stressed and losing hours of sleep, nothing serious, just family events and the fact that I am close to finishing my university degree. I've also been a little addicted to ARK: Survived Ascended but that's another topic.

Anyway, as I was coming up, a long time ago I had made a story that I never finished, but maybe one day it will end (XD) as soon as I drew it and I forgot about it. After years of the beginning of the marriage of Black Pearl and Caviar, adding the birth of their two daughters, the republic never knew who Black Pearl really was, it was only known that the Duskgloom Sea attacks had stopped, no one knew the reason, It just happened, without imagining that the beast of the Duskgloom Sea now inhabited the republic.

For a reason that I have not yet questioned, the republic ends up finding out who BlackPearl is, causing panic in the republic (Something not very surprising yupee) in addition to the fact that the sailors who have lost ships and family in the Duskgloom Sea, made a demonstration in they seeks justice since BlackPearl is responsible for those losses, she knows it, but she has changed and tries to make an apology that obviously no one accepts, they want to bring her to justice or take justice into their own hands. Caviar, who defends his wife, knows that there must be justice but not in that way, but the inhabitants of the Republic take him as an accomplice of the "Beast of the Duskgloom Sea" where things end up getting out of control, since even the Other Elders of the Republic get involved, Custard II being one of the most involved, since he sees the Sovereign of Duskgloom Sea as a great help to defend the republic, basically, a weapon.

As he is the "Leader" of the Elders of the Republic, he decides to propose a deal to Captain Caviar and BlackPearl, where he would calm all the Republicans, forgive the mermaid's crime but only if she agrees to be part of the arms of the Republic. republic, although it is a good proposal, neither Black Pearl nor Caviar are convinced when they learn of the bad tricks of Custard II, by not accepting a whole disaster results that ends in the separation of the members of the Salty Shark, the imprisonment of Caviar and the capture of BlackPearl. And I left it until then, I didn't take up the topic again because I was busy with my classes.

Regarding the separation of the Salty Shark, it was to keep Caviar and BlackPearl's daughters safe, since, if they try to use BlackPearl as a form of weapon or defense of the republic, they could do it with the girls as well, after They are all half Mermaids, this would lead to an adventure in the ocean, where the girls find out that they are like their mother, seek help from BlackPearl's sisters and blablabla. I stayed there and didn't continue, maybe one day I'll come back but, that's the context of these doodles

All the text above was translated with Google Translate, English is not my first language.

[caviiday]

Get infodumped, Punk; In An Immortal's Despair, the characters who are gods are:

Sun - Xander

Stars - David

Love - Whit (tomatoes are thrown at me)

Health - Arturo

War - Levi

Time - Eden

Sleep - Rose

Knowledge - Min

Beast - Nico (God of animals-- beast was the only name i could think of)

Music - Hu

---

The others are:

Teruko (Human/Immortal)

Charles (Human/Mortal)

Ace (Cervitaur*)

Veronika (Human/Witch)

J (Harpy)

Arei (Siren)

---

*deer centaur

---

I can see a scene like this happening at some point, as well, if i were to expand on the story even more;

Love kicked his legs as he stared at Time. She had looked rather down the past few days, but it was nothing he couldn't fix-- he handled everything when it came to emotions. Humans knew him as Love, as did most other gods, for that is what he specialized in-- But hatred, sorrow, and joy were all also feelings he handled.

"Sooooo... Clocky, Tick-tock," He tried both nicknames on his tongue with a hum of dissatisfaction. No, no, neither would do. "What's been on your miiind? You know you can tell me, my mouth is shut tight!"

Time looked over at him with pursed lips and sunken eyes. She knew she could tell him, she knew he wouldn't spill a word, but it hurt to think about. She kept following the human she adored, in hopes her affection would eventually be shared, but it never was. It made her heart ache.

When the goddess did not respond, Love stretched his arms out above his head and let out a soft groan. "Welp! Not gonna force you. New question! Think you can make someone immortal for me? See, there's this cute little human! Wants sooo hard to be a warlock or something... Not sure I can help with that magic-stuff, but I do like him a lot."

Many words came to her mouth at his words, but none of them slipped from her lips. Some words sounded like what may be said by Teruko, her beloved curse-bearer, which made her tear up and sigh. Hopefully it will pass, she thought sorrowfully as she stared at Love.

He just kept talking about the mortal, describing the features he had and describing the way he talked. She did not interrupt at all, but if the mortal was anything like Teruko... Oh, she worried she'd make another mistake.

"Sooo... Hmm... Well, i'll also ask him if he wants to be immortall... But think about it, alright? Preeetty please?" Love flashed Time a pleading pout, as well as what looked to be his attempt at puppy-dog eyes.

In turn, she just snickered into the side of her fist and waved her other hand in dismissal. "Fine, fine! I'll think about it."

bRAINWAVES HOLY SHIT, I'm so jealous of you I wish I could write as good as u.....

I wanted to make a panel for this but I got lazy :( have this

(I'll maybe draw my designs for them)

I really really like how you emphasized that Eden was scared to gift any mortal with immortality because of what happened with Teruko. immortality was the ultimate gift you could ever get from her, yet Teruko treated it as a curse, a hex. She didn't want this, she didn't want this.

No matter how much Time follows Teruko, she will always run, like she always does.

"what do you even see in me?"

"Everything."

—

I really want to draw designs for ur fic... It's so good I swear, I'll try to once I have a little more free time......

Siren Arei harassing Harpy j every time she goes to the sea to catch some fish, I should draw this someday....

[lingkaranitubumi]

So BG3 is currently holding a chokehold on me and I can't help but think of hetasean dnd au. I'll try to limit this to PHB and 5e for simplicity reasons. also sorry I'm not a seasoned DND player at all i played one casual campaign but only actually understood the mechanics after playing bg3 LOL im a highly kinetic-visual person

Vietnam: Any tanky build will do as such I was thinking an atheist paladin would be funny lol. She is definitely the one with the most hands-on experience in battle. Proficient with polearms and shields. I see her more leaning towards martial classes, so like barbarian or fighter. probably fighter. Looks Lawful but actually Chaotic. Hmm... maybe Neutral Good?

Thailand: Monk for the muay thai coolness. Not sure about his subclass tho... most of them don't sound lethal and brutal enough. Definitely Lawful Evil.

Malaysia: At first I was thinking of a gunslinger build (just so I can give him a loooooong boy ala Malacca era) but the fighter subclass, because he doesn't come off as the artificer type to me. Either that or barbarian for the tiger rage. Now him being a druid would allow him to actually turn into a tiger, but honestly Mal as a character doesn't seem so druid-y to me--Oh wait. he skips meetings to catch sea creatures and talks about social harmony... maybe he could be a druid. Chaotic Good.

Singapore: Any class that relies on high INT, like wizard . Ok I said I'd limit to PHB but war magic is so him. The other schools just doesn't scream poisoned shrimp enough for me. Lawful Neutral.

Indonesia: At first I was thinking of cleric to match his worldflags counterpart but Indo as a warlock is a delicious thought. Besides, Pact of Talisman mechanic sounds like typical indo black magic shenanigans. Of course the talisman must be a haunted ornate keris. Then later another idea came: what if he's a multiclass bard-monk?? The mechanics match up with pesilat Betawi as it's tradition to roast your opp with pantun (type of Malay poem) before commencing the beating. So like, Vicious Mockery -> Flurry of Blows . but if Thai is already a monk, Indo will have to relinquish that role for diversity reasons. I'm on the fence between True Neutral and Chaotic Neutral.

Philippines: Him being a bard is a no-brainer because filipinos and singing!!11!!! also after playing a bard, there seem to be more of roasting a dude than singing But hear me out: deadly dex-based fighter. Or since he already has Pien, why not a beast master ranger? If we really need to play that Catholic Trauma™ then Piri could be a cleric. never paladin tho. Two-weapon proficiency, twin blades because he's a gemini. Same alignment as Indo awww twinning!!! but leaning more on chaotic

this is still a brainstorming post maaaaybe I'll draw their designs some day...... what do y'all think???? I'd like to hear some suggestions 🙌

[totkdaily]

Day 53: The All-Clucking Cucco, and Koltin

The researchers at Foothill Stable are grateful to be clothed again. Jora says he still can't find his friend Dillie - they lost track of each other round Rebonae Bridge, near Wetland Stable to the south west. From what Jora says, it sounds like Dillie might have fallen in a cave. I'll keep an eye out, but I'm not headed that way for a while - I hope he's got rations. 

The korok up the hill by the stable is trying to reach a friend who's basically on the way to Akkala, just up the road. I hitch up Peaches to the stable's cart, load up the korok and set off. 

The old monster camp by the Akkala Road is empty - because they're on the bridge now!! Good grief. I charge Peaches through and we race for the stable. 

We reach South Akkala Stable just as a storm blows in. I give Addison a hand. 

Jana in the stable is preoccupied by a drawing of a beast on the wall. It's supposed to be this mystery beast I've heard about once or twice before. I don't know what to make of it.

Jana also mentions that her little sister Gleema is fascinated with a cucco oracle - whatever that is. What is it with this family and creatures - last time I was here, I think it was Gleema who wanted a bunch of dragonflies. 

Dmitri, who runs the stable, wants a picture of the Unity Bell in Tarrey Town. There's a tradition that two people who ring it will be together forever. His four daughters would love it - and I'm headed there.

Kaifa is another of his daughters, caring for the sheep. But she's lost a cucco - not the prophecy one, apparently - and it won't lay eggs unless one of the family is nearby. 

Penn is here! He's got no leads, and he wants to try the cucco prophecy to get some - or at least interview the people who come to see it. 

Kaifa's cucco is in the well - but I can't figure out how to get her out. 

Tenne is taking care of the horses - she wants to go to Tarrey Town one day and order a dream home. But first she wants a partner with kind eyes who knows how to bake - she hopes hanging the Unity Bell picture will help her dating life. Sweet.

After beating Parcy in an ore-smashing contest, I head up the hill to this cucco oracle. 

Gleema says horseys, not bugs, is her new interest. She wants to ask the All-Clucking Cucco if she'll be a horse one day, but the line is too long. 

Fashionista Falmark says he heard Cece was influenced by someone in Tarrey Town - maybe Hudson's wife? He stopped here to see the oracle, and the cucco told him there was treasure on a remote island in the northeast. He hopes this means clothes, but I think clothes being treasure is specifically a Misko thing. Unless this is a lead to one of Misko's chests? It's such a vague clue.

Lonnie is the only person still in the queue, but she needs more time to think and lets me go first. 

The cucco knows my name, and that I'm seeking Zelda, but that's hardly a secret. It says I will face many trials - the first of which is to get to the top of the Stable.

It takes me a second to find a place to ascend, but I do, and reach the top.

The second trial is… bring logs.

And the third is - the Yiga Clan! It's been so long! I'd almost forgotten about them, I can't believe they're still knocking about. I survive the ambush, and agree with Penn's assessment - the All-Clucking Cucco was nothing more than a Yiga scam. I wonder what it was supposed to achieve… 

It's pouring down. I think about heading into the stable for the night - but then I turn to check the skyline and see the familiar glow of Kilton's balloon, just past Ulri Mountain Skyview Tower. Except that he gave it to Koltin, didn't he? If that guy's still looking for bubbulfrog gems, I have plenty for him. I run and glide through the rain, ignoring the tower for the moment in case I miss the window and Koltin picks up for the night. I'm not sure what his schedule's like.

He gives me a moblin mask and tells me he can sense nearby bubbulfrogs now he's eaten some of their gems - strange that he still can't seem to catch any of them himself. He gives me three hinox toenails, the mystic robe, eight fire keese eyeballs, a lizalfos mask and five ice-breath lizalfos tails before I run out of gems for him.

I can see Tarrey Town from here. And it looks as though another town has sprung up on the banks of the lake below? 

I head back to the tower as dawn approaches. It would be silly to be so close and not to activate it.

[munchkin1156]

✨My Megapost✨

NEW MEGAPOST SOON!

. . .

HIIIIII!!!!!!! WELCOME TO MY BLOG AND MY MASTERPOST!! HAVE A COOKIE!!! 🍪

You can find me on ao3 as well, under the same user, where I'm posting non g/t hermitcraft (and possibly some g/t once I get around to it)

Now that that's out of the way...

Who am I?

❤️My name is Munchkin! I'm your casual g/t enthusiast, and I do writing, art and also some irl stuff making! If you see someone going by the name ✨anon✨ on your blog, offering you cookies, then that's me. I enjoy content, and sometimes do my own! Right now, I'm mainly obsessed with Mcyt g/t (which is mainly hermitcraft! and was dsmp) or a lot of character stuff :D Nice to meet you, viewer/reader!! :D ❤️

What is g/t?

G/t stands for giant/tiny, and it's a community for people who enjoy being (you guessed it) giant or tiny! Usually, it's a form of comfort, feeling the need to protect or be protected, but it can also be used as a kink. That is NSFW G/T. This blog is strictly SFW G/T. I will not hesitate to block you if you do that, for it makes me uncomfortable and I am not okay with it. (Sorry if this description is bad, there are better ones-)

Do I do g/t vore?

Nope! To be clear, I am perfectly fine with the concept and anyone who posts it, (occasionally reading it as long as it's safe) though I am aware some of my followers are not, so I will not be posting/talking about vore on this blog.

Do i take requests, and if so, what kind? (REQUESTS ARE ✨OPEN✨)

Yes. I take writing and art requests, including fake fic titles, prompts, au ideas, headcanons, etc. Do not pressure me to finish your request though, it will not help at all and will make me more stressed. If I am uncomfortable with your request, it will be deleted.

Now, my posts so far... (Stories/art and other posts under cut-, most of this is old writing, again once I'm back I will probably add some more stuff that is new and better! Enjoy!)

. . .

YOU LOOKED UNDER THE CUT!! :0 ENJOY MY CONTENT!!! (if you want to) HAVE A NICE DAY/NIGHT!! ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

Mycelium Menace (Hermitcraft g/t au)

Pt1

Shattered Code

Pt1, lore dump on forest borrowers

Now for all the stuff I've done in the past which I'll hopefully write more for!

✨Upon Clouds we Dream...✨

Chapter One and Chapter Two is out, but Chapter Three is non-existent. (yet)

Then there's the other au that I have stuff for, but I'm not sure what it is or where i was going with it and i'm pretty sure it's dead but oh well-

Make new friend's but keep the old

Chapter... One? Chapter... Two? Maybe?

✨MER AU THAT I HAVE SAID NOTHING ABOUT YET✨

Art for it

Becky ask!!! (small infodump)

✨I have fallen (but have faith, for I shall rise once more)✨ (mcyt g/t au)

Pt.1

Brick ask :D

✨Dystopian au✨ (mcyt g/t au)

infodump

Becky ask (technically infodump)

✨Oneshots!✨

He started it!

Horror and HELP

✨Other- (stuff like wips, fake fic titles, art, oc's that i have drawings of, hc's, irl stuff :])✨

Wip game thingy

Munchkin character sheet

It's- a stick figure. In a hamd.

FAKE FIC TITLES

Taming the beast

G/t headcanons (Zombie apocalypse style)

Borrower house no.1 (not very good)

Borrower house no.2 (better)

Borrower house no.3 (pretty darn great)

Borrower house no.4 (think of a witches house)

shitpost (and my first post)

shitpost (not my first post)

shitpost (honestly how many do i have?)

shitpost (another one??)

shitpost (:D)

stuff that freaks me out in g/t #1

stuff that freaks me out in g/t #2

spooder

geeckooo

baaaaaaaat

✨My tumblr fam✨

My Tumblr mom, the wonderful @.I-am-beckyu, my Tumblr aunt's, @.brick-a-doodle-do and @.a-xyz-s.

@.orchid-harmony, @.da3dm, @.krazycat49, @.justarandomsloth and 🕶️ anon are my siblings :D

Aaaaaand that's about it! Will update when I should!

❤️ You made it to the end! ❤️ Great job, dear viewer/reader, have some more cookies! 🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪

-Your neighborhood Munchkin

…spams bread

[yoki-doki-then]

FFXIV Write 2024 - Perpetuity

TW - Pet death, 'willfully dying' but happily, Endwalker Ancients stuff

In white robe, an ancient of Etheyris sits, hind on her heels. Beneath her, flowers of fading hues are crushed, the unlucky few to accompany her to the star. She breathes easily, smiling, stroking gently the feline familiar on her lap. The beast struggle to enjoy her company, its own draws of life ragged and cruel.

"There, there," says the ancient. It's a strange term for one with such a youthful mien, so few years to her life compared to the other white-robes. "I'm sorry this form's end is cruel. But it was nice while it lasted, yes? Did you enjoy it?"

The beast cranes its head ever so slightly, looking its master lazily in the eye. That much was a struggle. Though, there was no pain in the effort; that had been blissfully denied. There's love in the gaze the pair share, and the pet nuzzles its head against her belly.

Hey smile lingers, though the upward nudge of her cheeks loosens a millisecond stream down her features. "I'll be right there with you, and when the time comes for us to be born again, we'll find one another. Such is our design. So please, don't worry. Don't fear. It's okay."

A few of her peers had disagreed with the motion of letting her life fade alongside her work. Apparently, it wasn't the first time she'd done this. "Nini," they had pleaded. "It's far too early to go. Linger still. For a day. A week. A month. A year. An eternity." Their words were more passioned and less obvious than that, but that's what she heard. And she did feel for their pain. But a time had come. A time to say goodbye. Better to declare it now than wait until they grew bored of her. Better to dream of the next time they should be so blessed as to cross paths.

"Death is just an end," she says, more to herself than to the beast she makes her magic still. "From an end, a beginning. Everything was once another. The only thing we treasure, really, is consciousness; isn't it?" She feels her pet's final breath against her fingers, and she sighs. "It's that end which we fear. It doesn't really matter what comes after, the idea that this... ends. That is terror. I feel it every time I ponder too deeply. But the truth is, well, eventually, something new will happen, even if we don't remember it.

"When everything dies, when all consciousness fades, no one will remember however millions or billions of years it takes for the next consciousness to form. There will be no record of Etheirys. Maybe another world or two would have happened before a conscious thought begins. No one will know how many times we've reset. All that matters is that something will always exist. And all consciousness will know... is what it knows."

With a final, gentle stroke of her hand, she bids her friend's journey into the lifestream, its body glittering into the raw aetheric makeup of creation. That same hand finds its way to her chest, and weaves its way to her heart.

"Something will live again from me. This version of Ninisina fades tonight. But the next will have only lived because I died."

Expert fingers pluck loose life's hold on her soul. Her body begins to flow shortly after her beloved companion. She looks to the heavens with a smile.

"I hope you live as wonderful a life as I have. May you achieve all you dreamed, as I have. And may you die with love for yourself, as I do."

The ancient's final words carry her away, blown to the hereafter on a divine wind.

[dumbblondesposts]

Fic idea: klayley having another child

I’m such a sucker for au fics where klayley have another daughter and hope is a big sister

Idk why I felt like a boy is better suited for this so here's an alternative universe where hayley remained a werewolf:

She watches hope make her way to her little brother's crib for what's probably the tenth time this day, she reaches out to stroke his face with her little finger as she beams with joy and she feels nothing but pure contentment

It's been six months since she and Klaus welcomed their second child, this time a little boy named Henrik,

He was named after the Departed youngest mikaelson brother, it was Klaus's idea, a way to honor his memory or out of guilt, who knows

Not that Hayley objected

Everything's been easier, better with her second pregnancy, no danger looming over them, no witches plotting revenge

And for once she could see the side of Klaus she dreamt of seeing since she first learned she carried his heir

He was present, caring, thoughtful and truly alive, he seemed to have a handle on what it's like to be a parent

Maybe that too is out of guilt

He wanted nothing more than to make up for all the time he lost trying to get the city back instead of tending to her needs,

Instead of being there for her and their unborn child

Now he stands across the room, wearing the biggest smile as he watches hope doting on her little brother before his eyes meet Hayley's.

She looks tired, understandably so

Despite his insistence on compelling someone to help her take care of their toddler she refused

Could be her way of compensating for the time she spent away from hope in her first months

He sits next to her and she looks at their kids before quickly shifting her gaze back to him with a smile

"Is it too late to accept the babysitter offer?", She jokes

"Motherhood is wearing you out I see"

She bites back a laugh before she rests her head on his shoulder, an intimate gesture she could've only wished for once upon a time

Now it's habitual ,any bit of fear, of insecurity is long gone

Now she can truly rely on him, she can truly call him her partner

A man and not a beast

A loving father, a great friend and a sweet lover

She watches hope's concerned expression as little henrik bursts out crying before she decides she's bored and exits the room

he can hear Hayley's lengthy sigh and so his hand briefly rests atop hers

"I'll take care of it" , and it's Hayley's turn to swoon over the sight of the mighty Klaus mikaelson rocking his baby in his arms, his shirt smeared with vomit and spit up as he desperately tries to soothe him

She laughs before he gives her the "I give up" look,

"That's not how you do it, here, let me show you"

He carefully hands her the boy and admires the way he instantly calms down, the sight of a small family that loves him,

One that finally gave him a way to live rather than survive melts his heart

He looks at his children's mother nursing their baby, looking absolutely exhausted and he can't think of anything more beautiful

The picture is engraved in his memory, something from which he'll draw inspiration for the many art pieces he later dedicates to her

She looks at him again with a smile

"I'm actually starving right now",

And that's his cue to take care of her for a change,

Since apparently it's now a part of his "baby daddy" responsibilities to remind her to eat, drink and sleep

Not that he'll ever complain, this woman gifted him the world and then some more

He'd offer up his soul for her if she asked

"Alright then love, I'll get you some actual food instead of the convenience dung you so seem to enjoy to ring the changes"

She's busy fawning over Henrik grabbing her Finger when she feels Klaus approache her, he tucks the straying strands of hair behind her ear as to take a better look at her face and she feels herself blushing a little

No one gets her so weak in the knees as that bastard does

"Once I'm back I expect you to finish up your plate and get some sleep, are we set?"

He stands amused as she rolls her eyes at him

"Can you go back to not caring please, cause I'm starting to feel smothered" ,

"I think not", with that he gives her lips a tender kiss,

One that leaves her breathless

It's his way of getting her to stop complaining

An effective way they both enjoy

And the lovestruck teenager in her jumps out, the one who only ever wanted to matter to him

So she bites her lip and focuses all her attention back on their little boy

[slywood]

The Shakes

It's early January of 2012. I wake to sunlight creeping through the side of the curtain. It must be around noon. My unpaid cable bill means my digital clock just blinks hyphens. I lean over to the counter to check the radio. It's a bit past 10. I have a few hours before deciding if I'll go to work today. I pull the blue comforter—one that isn't actually mine—over my head and plunge into darkness.

An eternity seems to pass. I toss the comforter aside and again lean over to the radio clock. Only two minutes have passed. Annoyed and surprised that I'm not still sleeping, I feel the hangover starting to hit hard. Then, the anxiety kicks in. I don't remember if I took my medicine.

I usually keep my necessary pills in my jeans' change pocket. That mini pocket is perfect since it keeps the pills secure, and whenever it's empty, I know I've taken them, even if I'm too drunk to remember. This time, I hadn't followed my routine. I woke up hungover yesterday and went straight to a New York Rangers playoff game with a friend. I hadn't planned on staying out all night and blacking out, but I did.

Work is now officially out of the question. I need to decide what to do next. I can't sit still, and I feel the monster inside me begging to be set free. I dart to my bookcase and pull out my medication bottle. I take half of my daily dose immediately. If I already took them, one more shouldn't hurt. If I didn't, at least I have half a dose in me. Then, I grab my generic Xanax bottle and pour out the remaining pill. It's empty. I must have already taken it, although I don't feel its effects. I climb back into bed.

My right arm jerks. The fear is starting to take over. My left hand seems steady. I feel control over my body slipping, my power over it tenuous at best. I don't trust sleep at the moment. I'm too scared to even try.

I need to keep busy. Alcohol is my insurance policy. The last three days, though, have taken a toll on my body. I don't remember getting home any of those nights. Now I feel the beast, and I fear it's entirely my fault. The withdrawal is terrifying.

Disregarding poor judgment, I open a Corona bottle and drink half of it. I pace around the kitchen, trying to gauge how I'm doing. Not much has changed. I need a shot. Weighing the options, I decide to stay in control the only way I know how. I take out a bottle of Jameson and pour a shot. I drink it, and the warmth envelops my body. I think this is going to help. I finish the rest of the Corona bottle in one gulp.

There's no immediate change. Pacing seems effective. I end up in my room, staring at the medication bottles. I wish I had some Xanax. I look around for the one I had in my pocket last night but suddenly find it on the cologne shelf. I swallow it immediately without a second thought. I instantly feel like I have the situation under control. I really needed that pill.

Both my hands are jerking now, although they’re easing up. The Beast is still in me, but I'm beginning to tame it. Both the alcohol & the drugs are slowing me down. I'm not afraid of sleep anymore. Maybe I'll just watch a movie though.

Fuck off, Beast. I win this round. You're no match for my alcoholism.

As I settle back under the comforter, I try not to think about the vicious cycle I've settled into. The hangovers, the blackouts, the anxiety attacks are all something I'm all too familiar with. This isn't normal, but I can control it. I'm in control, I think. Still, I can't help but wonder, what if I'm not?

These thoughts are quickly drowned out by the numbing effects of alcohol and Xanax. My eyes start to get heavy, and the allure of watching a comforting, familiar movie draws me in. Maybe it’s just another form of escapism, but for now, it’s the only thing that promises a brief respite from the chaos raging within my head.

I think about reaching over to grab the remote, but my hands are still shaking slightly. The jerks are fading but I need to stay awake for just a bit longer, just to be certain. I forget about my troubles & I just focus on the present. I cover my face with my brother's comforter and the darkness lets me focus completely on my body. I am in control. I feel a small sense of relief. I'm in control.

[wevelocityteampresents-blog]

SEPTEMBER 10TH

I continued to draw today. After doodling for a while, I felt that I was ready to work on new Pokémon Pocket Web Comics. It's a fitting task, considering this Friday will mark the webcomic's 5th anniversary. (Yes. It HAS been that long since I started to draw comics again.)

In Pokémon Violet, I was training Grand Orchid to evolve into Arboliva. While I was still in the area, I caught some of the remaining Pokémon in the Paldea Pokédex.

This one was not one of them. Sometime later, I traded him to someone else in exchange for a shiny Braixen.

Back to Grand Orchid, we easily took out Ampharos with a new tactic.

After Ampharos was knocked out, Grand Orchid finally evolved into Arboliva.

His stats are top-notch, as expected. And he'll get even better with more training. Sadly, that's going to have to wait until later. Right now, it's onto the last two Pokémon in the Pokédex!

I think you've given me enough Big Nuggets for now. Any more than that, and I'll be an even richer man than I am now.

My first search put me on the path of Ting-Lu. I began searching around Casseroya Lake when I found another camper. Unlike the other ones, the only thing this guy shared with me was a new sandwich recipe.

Say that to the people who thought combining sushi and pizza was a good idea.

I eventually found some stakes on some of the lake's islands. Which were enough for me to reawaken Ting-Lu.

My next obvious destination was the shrine. To my surprise, it wasn't located inside a cave and was outdoors for everyone to see.

I could have saved my Master Balls for other Pokémon. But I didn't want to waste any time with these guys. It took a few tries. But I was able to get a Ting-Lu with the right stats.

I was lucky to get this one before my usual study time.

After I finished studying, I started to look for the last Pokémon I needed, Chi-Yu. While looking for one of the stakes, I found this cave entrance. I expected to find one in there and came across some TMs instead. Oddly enough, these TMs were the ones used for the ultimate moves.

Since these are Technical Machines, I thought that Mew was finally able to learn these powerful moves. And sure enough, it can.

Future series are going to riot over this...

After I nabbed the TMs, I found the remaining stakes needed to reawaken Chi-Yu.

I remembered the location of its shrine and ran off to Fury Falls to catch it.

I still don't understand why a Fire-type would be placed in an area with water. Why? Is it because it's a fish?

After some trial and error, I was able to catch a Chi-Yu with the perfect stats and finish the Paldea Pokédex 3 days before the release of The Teal Mask update.

Even though I completed the Pokédex, I'm not sure where I'll get my diploma, considering GAME FREAK's staff isn't in this game.

Which is pretty much useless in a country like this since there aren't any Ultra Beasts to catch.

Or maybe I DO know where to get a diploma for my Pokédex.

[wytfut]

70 going on 20..... riding the flat lands of Nebraski

Time really does fly the older you get. I understand that this is quoted all the time, but I gotta say its all so true.

Thus.... there seems at times not enough time to ride. Or enough riding time.

Been extremely lucky.... with all of my chronic back issues, that I've been able to keep on riding at my whim. with no issues. Well maybe except for the first part of this week. I couldn't sit comfortably any where..... another time, maybe...

I started riding way back in 1973... bought my CL 350 honda brand new with a collection of "bean checks"... in Fairbury. And haven't looked back.

Even when I didn't own a bike, I was still riding time to time.... buddy here, friend there, test rides, etc. Long dry spell of owner ship, but I kept my taste buds active.

I've never been to much of a subscriber to motorcycle rags. ... have done a couple over the years. But now with www, i get more than enough info.

Obviously I'm a huge EH fan. And because of it, I've gained some notoriety here in the midwest, as "that guy".... I find that funny.

But to be real, I just love to ride. Even if its the same old route time after time. I do change it up, on a "whim". And I do like most of the time to ride "lone wolf". There are exceptions... where as I'll ask around to see if anyone wants to go... But I'll jump on my X in a second, just for the "ride".

What is it? Why is this so addicting? Well... for one, I know, I'm a weird one hard to follow, but once I'm on my favorite beast, I'm instantly in my younger 20's. That very first ride on my old 350 boils all back into my head, grinning ear to ear.

Nothing like a road trip.... out in western NebraXi..... oh lordie thats mystical and transforming.... such long lonely stretches of soft curves, no traffic, green fields of waves.

Some of it, I can't deny, is the attention side of it. Owning an X always draws someones attention. Usually somebody that knows a little bit about bikes, and can't figure out what this thing is. That is fun....

I can ride just a couple of miles, and come home with a very good attitude, and a smile.

It is dangerous, and I know it. But that's a part of my adrenaline addiction. I miss the days when there was no helmet law. There was nothing like it, so very hard to describe. So very hard to describe even with a helmet law. The NebraXi helmet law is going away January 1. I'll be a good boy, and wear it.... I've too may years of fire and rescue under my belt not to understand that it is a true injury preventer. But I'll admire those that will not.

Its also my best stress reliever. If I'm enduring a stressful situation... I'm looking for a quick chance to go ride. My back for instance, and all the unknown nuances attached to that situation. That has been a heavy load with unknowns what is going to affect me for the rest of my life. This week I was looking directly that I may not be able to ride anymore........ GAAAHHH!!!

My last surviving adrenaline rush. It'd be very hard at this time for me to give up riding. ... I do think about my age, and when will I give it up. I don't know....

I'm hoping when riding with someone, and they notice what ever, they tell me that I need to reevaluate....

I also need to plan ahead a bit... unknown how far ahead. ... but what is going to happen to my X when I quit riding? And I hope that when confronted I'm of the right mind. Not trying to be the guy who won't admit.....

My initial thoughts way back in the day was to give to Luke.... as he has never rode big bike much, nor was he a part of X world when we first got into it. But he has shown no interest at all. In fact I can tell, he'd like to own it, but he'd never ride it. At least not like I may feel it should be.... no no, not the storage of it, but enjoying riding it.

Jake and Josh both are previous X owners. Jake at this point doesn't have time to ride... I don't want it shoved off into a corner. Josh bitches about the windshield height (LOLOLOL). But his time is also a bit limited, with everything he has his toes in.

My latests has been towards my grandson Jack. He loves to ride... mostly dirt, but loves to ride. His other grandfather bought him a street/cruiser Husky thumper. I think he'd enjoy it, respect it and maybe even wrench on it as needed. I don't know that he'd sell it.

Being I wouldn't be around, I guess it doesn't matter. I may just leave it to the estate... and let them wrestle with all of that...

The old cliche of "if I have to explain it, you won't understand" .. is definitely a cliche, but its so true. How does a person describe the true joy of riding?

hopefully I've a few years left in me.... wish me good luck

[stagnata]

Asterix Roman thoughts

I found this as a 2019 draft on my DA Sta.sh

The main part of the "Asterix" franchise is comics, so there are too many characters to keep track of, I'll only list the cartoon and game Romans.

Caligula Minus

He is so small (as short as Asterix) and cute. He also looks really frail, how did he end up in the army? I listened to his voice in a few dubs and my favourites are French and German, they're more distinctive, and I prefer the German one because it's easier to listen to.

Caius Bonus / Crismus Bonus / Phonus Balonus

It amuses me that he is so keen on replacing Caesar that he cries when Getafix (and Asterix) makes it complicated.

Caius Tiddlus / Caius Pupus

Spiritual descendant of Droopy from Tex Avery's cartoons, how else do you explain that he is always in front of Asterix and Obelix? Plus he doesn't express emotions except when Obelix implies he ate the Beast and when he is on the Isle of Pleasure with the sirens. I tend to whisper as I type stuff and I sound like a female version of him.

Motus / Caous / Bossa Nova / Voluptuous Arteriosclerosus / Caius Faipalgugus

He is loud and treats those below him like trash, but he is still funny.

Ardeco / Noodles / Infirmofpurpus / Plutoqueprevus

My recent gallery should make it obvious that I love him. I find him to be the most relatable character (I cry when I'm scared too). He looks so huggable, they should make plushies of him, maybe the owl too. I heard him in over 10 dubs and my favourite is German, other ones I like are Polish and UK English. The French voice is good but it's a bit harsh on my ears. In the USA dub he (and several other Romans) has an Italian accent and his voice is high-pitched so he sounds like a poor impression of Mario. His Croatian voice is so deep it's funny but it lacks screaming. The Swedish voice is hard to listen to and he screams way too much. The Greek voice reminds me of Mickey Mouse, doesn't fit him.

Lucullus

He threw Dogmatix in the sea and got eaten by a panther. Good riddance.

Anglaigus / Squareonthehypothenus

I think this guy was popular at some point, but it's been several years since the cartoon with him came out and I see only one person still draw him these days. He is funny and sort of cute.

Sam Shieffer ("Asterix and Obelix XXL", "Asterix and Obelix XXL 2: Mission Las Vegum", "Asterix at the Olympic Games")

Tutorial character in the first two games, saves the protagonists' lives in the second two games. It seems that XXL1 takes place in one timeline and XXL2 with OG in another, because he meets the protagonists for the first time in XXL1 and XXL2, while OG reuses the character designs from XXL2. In XXL1 his name is never said or shown. In XXL2 and OG he parodies another character (name and outfit) I'm not familiar with.

Larry Craft ("Asterix and Obelix XXL 2: Mission Las Vegum)

You can guess the inspiration for this character. He is a mini-boss somewhere in the middle of the game, not too hard (for me at least). I feel a little bad for him.

[editrevue]

and tamao or yukina or both ! - 🦋

Hi 🦋!! [ask] ohhhh yay! okay! since I'm still new to Bandori I'll put the Yukina one under a cut !!

Sexuality Headcanon: undoubtably an aromantic lesbian! it's canonical that tamao is very oblivious to people flirting with her, and that translates to "aro" in my mind <3

Gender Headcanon: nonbinary, she/they. just like in being aromantic I think there'd be some agender feelings to accompany it!

A ship I have with said character: I have several! Tamao x Rui (TamaRui) is my primary and my favorite because that was my canon, but I also have such soft spots for Tamao x Fumi (TamaFumi), Tamao x Kaoruko (TamaKao) and Tamao/Ichie/Fumi.

A BROTP I have with said character: In the instance where they're not shipped, I really love my best friendship with Fumi and Ichie. As goes with Kaoruko and Futaba, too! another one I can't wait to see more of is Tamao and Mahiru because of the illustration poll for the anniversary!

It's not necessarily a "brotp" but a funny thing is Tamao's indifference to Shiori and Shiori is out here being an absolute hater like "I'm so happy for you and your ugly fucking girlfriend I'm so serious" @ Fumi AKSHDKHASD

A NOTP I have with said character: like in the previous ask, Tamao/Futaba, but I still think it'd be funny to see! Tamao/Shiori is just. very uncomfortable. I also don't prefer Tamao/Yuyuko, but don't get me wrong I love Yukko very much! tbh I don't really see Tamao shipped with anyone else to really think about it too much, Tamao/Akira would just be plain silly.

A random headcanon: Tamao has planted flowers in specific patterns of specific colors in certain patches of the school garden to symbolize the 5 of them. Tamao's favorite role of Rui's besides Onikage was Hades, and when asked why, she never gives an answer. because Sun draws me this way, Tamao's hair soemtimes curls into soft "horns" when left unkept because oooohhhh metaphors and motifs ...

General Opinion over said character: oof. what does it say about me that tamao is my strongest kin from revue starlight . outside of me though tamao is such a fantastic character, every new thing that comes out about her adds to it, and I alluded to it in the arcana ask but I could go on for hours about their character development and the way their story makes me feel in the ways I relate to it! me and mod sun have our fingers crossed, we're really hoping that if junna or akira do not get belle/beast encores for their birthdays that either rui or tamao get something b&tb related for their new birthday cards please i'm beggign,, but! i'm glad rinmeikan is a part of the 2nd bandori collab because i was hoping to get more content of them as a whole! i hope frontier gets something big next though :sob:

I'm not super confident with these because I haven't sorted out all my feelings yet but um!! I hope it's still enjoyed nonetheless.

Sexuality Headcanon: purrsonally I say lesbian because I am! but sapphic definitely.

Gender Headcanon: nonbinary, secretly xenogender/catgender and only like Ako and Lisa know (Ako relates and could just tell from a mile away by guessing, Lisa knows because she just knows everything khsdajsldjasd) they/she or she/they.

A ship I have with said character: Yukina x Lisa! I don't know if I have any others I mega like yet, but I think even if I did YukiLisa would still be #1 <3

A BROTP I have with said character: everyone from Roselia! + Ran, Moca, Tomoe-- all of afterglow really but especially those three. I don't know enough of the in-game interactions yet to know for sure awawawaaa but I will know one day .

A NOTP I have with said character: I don't think I have any yet that give me an ick? Well besides maybe Yukina x Chiyu, Yukina x Ako and other young underclassmen obviously :sob: but um! hm! I don't think I enjoy seeing Yukina shipped with my other kins, especially the bigger ones like Kaoru and Himari if that's even anything. shrug!

A random headcanon: just to be cute I asked Sun to give me random yukina headcanons from her perspective and I really like some of the ones she wrote so I'll put them here! "you hum to yourself to help concentrate and when you're happy. A small hum from yuki means you're smiling, even if you’re not actually!" // "a kitty related one, I feel like you can, similar to how you can name a song based on a single note, accurately name any cat breed you see, or any cat colors or coat patterns" // "You’re secretly really good at video games, and no one knows why, since you dedicate so much time to music" which is a really silly one in retrospect, and another one she wrote i love the most is she said yukina and lisa would often bake together ! i agree with that one 🥺

General Opinion over said character: maybe there's a liiiiiitle bit of a bias going on because we both kin her hehe, but of course I love Yukina! We've talked about it before but I loved learning that she shares the same va as Claudine! It's so funny listening to bandori songs next to revstar songs because I have a hard time separating Aina's voice from Claudine still hdaksahsskdsd I relate very much to her passion for cats and her dedication to her friends and band. I can't wait to learn more!

[sharpsuite]

  ✦  for niragi . heh .

↳ 76 REASONS FOR A KISS ↳ ✦ randomizer chose 59 .  kissing so desperately that their whole body curves into the other person’s  .

THIS ISN'T PART OF HIS PLAN. It's a phrase that falls rather fittingly to Niragi - like he has some sort of possessive claim of that phrase in Chishiya's life. Maybe he does. Niragi has become something of a tornado in his plans - one minute it's usual banter and sneers and smirks, the threats, and the next its an unrivaled tension and lips crushing against one another. It's a TENSION that all of the death games and their timers have failed to ever make Chishiya feel.

Like now. His shoulders relax against the wall and he tilts his chin upwards the militant with a sly grin. " Now whose the one waiting to see if I'll come back from a game? " He murmurs into the minuscule amount of space between them - Chishiya's game been a relatively long one and he had been the last to arrive back sans any other players. Part of him had been surprised to see Niragi waiting like a BEAST ready for a kill , the other hadn't. The last few days there had been only brief glimpses of one another - he can't help the thread of curiosity that wants to know if he's lurked in Niragi's mind in his ABSENCE, as hard to catch or be rid of as in the flesh. Lips silence Chishiya before he can say anything more; not as aggressive as their first, and he can practically feel the SMIRK when Niragi pulls back just slightly. TEASE. ( Or consideration ? Allowance to leave if he doesn't want this ? Chishiya stays. )

This DEFINITELY isn't part of his plan. But his plan is at the waiting stage anyways - waiting for the deck to be almost complete before he steals it. Chishiya slides his arms around Niragi's neck and crushes their lips together again as the militant bends down and Chishiya stands a bit further up on his toes to ease the difference. One hand buries itself in midnight locks, curls as he parts his lips for him and nearly sighs into the kiss. ( Does his own inexperience frustrate him? YES. It is not often he finds himself lacking although he is learning. Can he appreciate Niragi's skill? . . . Also yes. ) And it's like Niragi knows he's THINKING TOO MUCH, that Chishiya's still in is own head, because the kiss slows and deepens and it has his toes curling, back arching. His free hand slides down from the back of Niragi's neck to his chest, tries to tug him impossibly closer by the silk of his shirt while Chishiya presses against him and feels the heat. This time there's no freezing rain. He wants and it's all Niragi's fault. ( There IS no one else, he's just as avoidant and distant with everyone else as usual. )

Fingertips hover with rare uncertainty - he wants but he doesn't know WHAT he wants. Only that the wanting is there with its appetite. Physical contact does not come NATURALLY and neither does the knowledge of what to do. The hand in Niragi's hair tightens a fraction more, he sinks into the kiss and into the tongue and that damn piercing he likes just a bit more. Slowly his fingers trail down over the fabric till he grasps at the sniper's hip, fingers brushing at the sliver of exposed skin while staying pressed against him. SAVORS each second until the need to part to breathe becomes unbearable and he has to break the kiss for both of their sakes.

His head feels like soft static, like it's softened by cotton. Chishiya draws in tiny gasps of air against Niragi's lips, his own lips parted and eyes only half-open. It's DANGEROUS the appeal that this whatever it is with Niragi has. It yearns and hungers. Sometimes it burns and sometimes its a soft warmth. His grip on black hair loosens, turns softer when he strokes through the strands and feels Niragi's forehead against his shoulder as his head leans back against the wall. He's still warm, body heat pleasant as he thumbs at Niragi's side absently and tries to ground himself back to the now. ( He LIKES the warmth and wants it. )

" Nira-Ah! " A puff of warm breath hits his neck as Niragi turns slightly to him in response and Chishiya shivers underneath it with a CHOKED noise that cuts off his own voice. Goosebumps erupt over his skin and his mouth opens and shuts in surprise at his own reaction. He might be able to quiet his noises but that gasp had gone unchecked and unrestrained. Why would he know that'd happen? He squirms now, uncertain whether to acknowledge the occurrence or ignore it. He can't quite bring himself to look towards Niragi's dark eyes and decides to turn his head to the side, to try to ignore the little occurrence. Maybe he should kiss Niragi again, shut him up before he says anything. / @crue11 / @wellfell

[sleepyivoryrose]

All my interests seem to fall into a curse of some kind - Bandai Namco is holding .hack// hostage, Blue Period had an awful anime adaptation (even though the live action one looks really promising, but its not my cup of tea), the GANGSTA mangaka got really sick and couldn't end the series (as far as I'm informed) and now the mangaka of the TAD manga might go to prison...i hope it's fake news, but I've seen in on tumblr and on twitter...

...on the other hand...the animal crossing rumor that next game is going to be completely in a city made its rounds and persisted for quite some time...

Hm....hm....HMMMM!!

Man, I guess it's just more motivation to keep making fanart of some sort.

At least Pokemon and Animal Crossing are thriving as always. You can't mess with the power of cute, no you don't.

---

Right now I am in a bit of a slump, creative wise...like the ocean, it seems to have it's tides. I have been submerged into the depths of it for long enough, it's time to at least try to fight back against...well, against this stagnation.

But how do I do that? I am not strong willed, or very smart, or at least disciplined in some way or another. Organizing myself is also not exactly my forte.

Maybe it's time to work on my drawing and writing techniques. More learning oriented, yknow?

Now I've got at least time, if anything else, might as well to put it to good use.

I tend to be endlessly stuck in the clutches of the neverending cycle of posts of social media.

But how else am I supposed to observe and learn? I could go outside, but my most interesting subject, people, is, well...I'm too socially awkward and not very sly to start people watching. Some might even take offense to being used as reference material. No, I can't do it.

Procastination is the greatest enemy of creative progress. Boredom in itself, on the other hand...

--

One of my favorite books dropped a line once: "Forge your blade in the fires of your wrath, that will be your strength." I'm tired of running from my feelings. I want to feel alive. And I will use those feelings, to run ever forward.

It will not be easy though. Many times I will fall to lethargy and feel hopeless and alone. But I will rise. Sooner or later, I'll get up again, and keep running.

Working with my feelings in a productive matter seems to be the best outlet for now.

Take all this frustration and anger, and produce something meaningful out of it. Confront myself with these ugly manifestations, and gain the ability to not drown in them.

It's scary. Not only because the feelings itself are creepy, but the things and people who provoke these feelings will always be there, and they will not be happy to see my true self.

They seem to forget that my illness is nothing to sneeze at. That I am plagued with thoughts and feelings I wished I could bury ten feet under. Contradictory thoughts and feelings, that slowly convince me that this ugly beast that lurks inside me is the real me.

These are difficult times. And if my old me could at least one thing well, is survive a crisis, acting when everyone is frozen in fear.

Keeping a cool head, even if things seem chaotic and scary at first.

And that's what I will do now. I will strive to be the version of myself I want to be. Even if nobody understands me, or hates me. It's always been like that anyways. I just need to get strong again.

---

But to end this entry in a less intense note...

Last days were rainy like crazy. That makes me happy, the temperature is nice, if, of course, humid, but I got almost used to listening to the rain while falling asleep. It's better than the almost absolute silence there is sometimes. On the weekends, just like this, do happen to be a lot of party people walking by, singing or screaming, completely wasted. It's comforting, as long as you are in the safe haven of your room.

--

Okay, I think that's it for today!