#Maybe I should pay more attention to my own blog

[icewindandboringhorror]

sometimes looking at like Self Help Strategies lists for the symptoms I'm having is always just like:

thing that I already do

thing I have tried 10 times

thing I already do

thing that I don't have the money to do

thing I already do

thing I've been doing since I was 10yrs old to no avail

thing that is impossible given my situation

thing that doesn't apply to me

thing that I already do

thing I have already tried

hrmm, oh wait, maybe finally- OH, yeah.. okay. thing that I already do but it was just phrased slightly differently

thing I have already done

[simp4konig]

Okay okay I have to ask, what’s your fav head canons of Nikto then? I love hearing other people’s ideas and head canons of cod characters ^^ 💕

Ngl, i get inspired by other people's headcanons, and i make headcanons off THEIR headcanons 🥲👍… I'm unoriginal 😔💔

SOOOO, im “” Tagging”” (by that i mean putting // after the @ so the original creators dont get the notifcation for this LMAO=) blogs whose own works inspired me to create my own headcanons 🥰❤️

General Nikto Headcanons ❤️

Word Count: 1,584.

Tag List: ♡ @simpforkonig ♡ @rustic-guitar-notes ♡ @best-soup ☆ @lotionlamp ♡ @trepaika ☆ @luci4theminorannoyance ☆ @happy-mushrooms ♡ @nightlyvoids ♡ @skeletalgoats ♡ @aethelwyneleigh27 ☆ @arrozyfrijoles23 ♡ @dobaddo ☆ @the-second-sage ☆ @wil-xyz ☆ @revnatheshadow ☆ @feelya

Allusions to NSFW beneath the cut! Readers are warned.

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Blunt and straight to the point. Sees no rhyme nor reason in beating around the bush and sugarcoating his words. As a result, he can be viewed as insensitive and lacking in empathy.

Impatient, and has a short fuse, so blows up often. Only you are able to be the calm after his storm, subduing him with soft reassurances and whispered words.

To say that he is possessive would be an understatement — he is extremely territorial.

After his torture, he is wary of the few things that he posesses and can actually call his own (you). His biggest phobia is losing you, and his irrational fear is someone stealing you away. Any prick unlucky enough to not catch on to you two dating will be lucky enough to survive the beating that he is given.

On that note, he is simultaneously self-assured, and insecure.

His mask is a part of him, and personal. It will take him months for him to shed said part of him.

Constantly fears that you will leave him once he reveals his face to you, so puts it off for as long as he possibly can. The day that he takes off his mask, only for you to be so casual about it and passing it off as your day-to-day, is the day that became cemented in his hard, stony heart.

Has conflicting views towards marriage. On the one hand, is an official document declaring your relationship really so necessary? Isn't an expensive wedding superfluous, and too sensational? To him, all of that is redundant — he's yours, and you're his…

…On the other hand, a glistening ring on your finger invokes a primal desire to make you more his than you are already. It would be a declaration of a love which even death wouldn't do part. Maybe he should pay more attention to the rings on display at the jewellery stores you pass by when shopping occasionally together.

An introverted man, who finds solace in solitude; excluding you, his partner, he has no companions, and rarely associates with anyone else. The voices in his head are bothersome enough, so why does he need additional voices bothering him? With that said, you would think that your presence would be a bother — especially with your mindless chatter when Nikto doesn't grunt at the idle small talk at times, wholly unresponsive for the majority of the time — but the moment you give any indication of leaving, he seizes your wrist, his cold, icy eyes silently pleading for you to stay. And you do. You always do.

Bringing me onto my next point: he is a good listener. Your ramblings are all that to you; ramblings. To Nikto, however, it's his chance to unpick all the information about you, down to the littlest of details. You wrongly assume that your words fall on deaf ears, but he listens, and he memorises every opinion you have, every statement you make, and even the small anecdotes that you share, which becoming engraved in his brain. He goes over every sentence religiously, as if it was the Bible.

He has an exceptionally good memory, tending to remember things that you had forgotten. Mention something that you craved in passing? He would surprise you with it the next time you bring it up. Alluded to someone who insulted you and ruined your day? Well, it would be no surprise that that person would never ruin your day ever again.

He is like a cat in the sense that he is an unwanted stray. However, when you came to want him, it dawned on you that he was no cat, but a panther. A predator — savage, vicious.

He would kill for you, no questions asked (He has already done it, but you don't know about that. After all, you hadn't asked him that question yet, only in jest. Truth be told, he has made so many death threats that you have become desensitised to them, dismissing them as nothing more than that: threats).

He would have died for you (PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE @//charliemwrites’s DEPICTIONNOF NIKTO IN THIS SCENE??????? HAD ME ON MY KNEES 🛐💍🧎🏼‍♀️ PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE VI NEED HIM SOVBAD); however, when you were hyperventilating as you sobbed and were close to reaching hysterics, that's when he realised that he should value his life more.

Incredibly stealthy. You've seen his execution animations… 🤒 Uses that stealth to sneak up on you whenever your guard is down to smack your ass. 🤭

Insomnia troubles him at night, the relief of sleep rarely coming to him; therefore, he tends to be nocturnal, buying groceries and going about the usual errands you would have otherwise done during the day. When you wake up, that empty fridge is magically stocked with your favourite food, your bear snoozing sometimes — most of the time he stares at you like a creep. 💀 /aff

When he does sleep, it tends to be during the day, and it's almost as if he is a bear entering hibernation

He sleeps like a plank — on his back, his arms by his sides, and his legs straight. You'll curl onto his side, your head on his chest, his legs between your core, and a strong arm wrapped around your waist.

Snores. REALLY loud. 😬 ONLY when you are in his arms 🙄 — when he sleeps alone, he is eerily silent.

Subsequently finding him laying in bed, still and silent, you were sobbing, thinking that he died in his sleep. Finally, after minutes of shaking him awake, he opened one eye, and grumbled groggily: “Дорогая, shut up. I am not dead. Not when I have you to live for. Now, come.”

Once he is asleep, good luck getting him to wake up again; unless you somehow manage to disentangle yourself from his arms — only then, when his myshka is missing, does he begrudgingly get up from bed, stand outside the bathroom door, and whisk you back to bed, willfully ignoring your complaints.

Proud of being your protector. Always has his hand[s] on you in some way or other, protectively keeping you by his side.

Has 20/20 vision, and perfect hearing.

Don't mistake his opening of pickle jars and water bottles for you as chivalry — he is taking advantage of it to show off his muscles for you. Doesn't want you to ask if you want to cup a squeeze of his bicep — when he sees you staring, he will forcibly take your hand and put it on his arm, positively smirking beneath that mask of his.

Has a staring problem and is unashamed of it. From his point of view, there is no problem in staring at you all day and every day.

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Eye contact with him is intense. Whenever you avert your gaze, he instantly grabs your chin to angle it so it's facing him. Eye contact during sex is a given.

Despite not wanting to be a father, he has an insatiable breeding kink (does not care whether you are a female, a male, an infertile female, or other — he is delusional in that sense).

Although he isn't against children per se — mainly indifferent to them, if I'm honest — wouldn't want to pass on the generational trauma onto his brood. He would prefer his bloodline ending with him.

His dirty talk is so filthy that you get wet from just his voice and innuendo. (Thank you @//xoxunhinged for your headcanon 😫💦)

His animalistic instincts are so prominent that you've become convinced that he purrs whenever you stroke that sensitive spot on his scalp, and growls in between grunts as he thrusts into you.

Is rough, leaving dark hickeys and bruises, but he would never, ever hurt you. He's rougher than most, but has sufficient self-restraint to be realise ahead of time if he is making you uncomfortable.

You are his deity, and he worships you — if he was to ever hurt you, he would enter a state of loathing. Since you were a merciful God, he would take the liberty of punishing himself — retribution suited to his crime.

One time you two were play wrestling and he almost dislocated your hip on accident. He didn't touch you again for at least two weeks, until he finally considered himself worthy of your touch.

Is dominant in bed, for two major reasons: because he prefers exerting the control which was forced upon him, relishing in having you submit to him; manhandling you to showcase his strength

A third reason is because if you were to ever top him, he'd cum embarrassingly quickly.

Probably gets off to being stronger than you. Deliberately puts you in positions which render you powerless, only able to take what he gives you.

Whenever you enter his room, he always sits in the darkness. Insists: “I do not need lights. Lights are wasted when I can see in the dark.”

Which is true... but it is also a pretence to hide the concerningly detailed shrine taking up an entire wall, dedicated to you. You'll come to find all of your lost trivial belongings when you mistakenly flick on the light switch.

His loyalty and devotion is unparalleled to any other's. He is utterly and unashamedly down bad for you, and he is willing to do anything and everything to keep it that way.

Thankfully, he doesn't have to do much, because you, too, love him. A lot.

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A/N I NEED HIM I NEED HIM I NEED HIM I NEED HIM I NEED HIM I NEED HIM I NEED HIM I NEED HIM I NEED HIM I NEED HIMI NEED HIM I NEED HIM I NEEDH IM I NEED—

Yeaah i thought comparing him to a panther would be cool 🐈‍⬛

“Guard dog” and just anything to do with a “dog” is an overused trope to me at this point 😐. Dont get me wrong!!!! , it doesnt mean that i dont LIKE the trope!!!! , but my own interpretation of Nikto is a little different, abd i think it suits him better,, Esp bc panthers technically 🤓☝️ do *not* exist, which links to how the definition of his name in Russian is “Nobody” :)

An unconventional animal for a very unconventionally attractive man😽,,

Anyways, it is time for a cigarette 🚬🤏😪. I will return in approximately 56 business days (trust me guys 😋✌️).

[growling]

*average self-proclaimed safe space tumblr blog voice* I soooooo support people with schizophrenia that must be so hard to you anyway I just saw some weird looking woman talking to herself right outside my house im fearing for my life should I call the cops. Yeah dude I support all the adhd havers in the chat just try to pay attention when I talk to you it's not that hard it's like the least you could do to show some regard for the other human being in front of you. Like it's fine to have memory problems but why did you forget this one thing in particular that was important to me do you like not care or anything you should try harder. I am one of the only real mental health advocates to still exist in this world I hear your struggles that being said I hope I never get to meet one of those irl sociopaths or people with aspd whatever they call them now they're so freaky and they can blend into society so well you might never know if you're actually face to face with an actual socio i mean person with aspd in the store absolutely one of my biggest fears what if they torture me in their basement. I absolutely empathize with all the people in here suffering from delusions as long as they like, don't actually show it or have one concerning me that'd be highkey uncomfy leave me out of this dude im not talking to you until you get help, anyway my fav character from my anime just presumably died but i still think they actually survived im sooo delulu lol. We should push for more wheelchair accessibility in our cities I agree but like it's so difficult to tell how many people are actually disabled and who are actually faking it, like, ummm why did that "wheelchair" "user" guy stand up just now cover blown lmaoo…. Yeah I support people with facial differences but I still have a right to be disgusted you can't control my emotions anyway can you tag your selfies as #body horror this deeply triggering to me. Speaking of triggering can you also pleaseee hide your scars or at least warn us beforehand jesus do you know how many people genuinely do not want to see it. Here is my extremely fast strobing lights and flashing gifset #epilepsy. Yeah I loveee girls with bpd beautiful princess disorder am i right they're so interesting the stigma sucksssss i'd love to get to be one's favourite person as long as they don't actually have any of those weird or violent symptoms or don't go into any of their "episodes" near me like that's a bit dramatic….. I deeply feel for those who had underwent narcissistic abuse from the hands of an npd I think my shitty ex boyfriend was a narcissist too tbh #surviving narcissism here are 10 signs you are dealing with a narcissist and here's a tutorial on how to trigger a narc crash to epically own them anyway does anyone else think we should start enforcing mandatory castration of all the newly diagnosed narcs like you know what happens when they reproduce right. But I am willing to support them as long as they go to therapy to get that fixed it's just you know. Anyway sometimes hospitalisation is fine if they're genuinely a danger to themselves like what do you want them to go live on the streets or actually get help?? I support all the people dealing with being a professionally diagnosed disordered system and I think it's sooooo terrible how literally 99% of the youth population nowadays is purposefully faking it for attention I did my research (1 minute google search, 2 minute r/fakedisordercringe scrolling session and consulting a single system that agrees with me). It's just not believable to me that there's really that many people with it isn't it supposed to be rare… Also are we really sure all those alleged people in their heads are really real or just their imagination maybe all of them are actually faking it huh food for thought. I am very uncomfortable with nonverbal high support needs ppl actually having sex like consent is supposed to be explicitly verbal only and, are we really sure they can even consent arent they like basically children. You can't call me ableist I'm literally autistic

[houseofanticipation]

It's impossible to count the number of times you've imagined this moment. Late at night, under the covers; in the bathtub, and the shower; on slow days at the bookstore, the summer before senior year; during Mr. Madrigal's long, droning lectures. You fantasized so vividly you could see each scene on the back of your eyelids, hear each sound between breaths. Many a time your hand migrated southward, almost of its own volition. If you were in public, you'd hold it against your crotch, pressing it into yourself with the force of your clenched thighs. In private, you'd be far less subtle.

In all those fantasies, you never imagined it would look quite like this.

The hallway smells like cigarettes and industrial cleaner. The haphazardly patterned carpet is coming up at the edges. The yellow tube light overhead might be attempting morse code, the way it flickers. Paint peels from the door in front of you, and one of the metal digits in the room number has been replaced with one that doesn't quite match: room 233. You raise your hand, your knuckles inches from the door, and then you pause. You're not sure if you can go through with this.

Before you can decide, the door opens anyway.

You started posting pictures in your first year of college. It was just your tits at first. You'd been quietly following those subreddits and tumblr blogs for a while, and you thought it would be a bit of fun, a little thrill. You didn't expect the response you got: dozens of people telling you how much they'd enjoyed it, asking for more. So you posted more, and the people asked for different things. Post your ass. Post your cunt. Post your fingers in your cunt. Post audio of you moaning as you came. The more you revealed of yourself, the more attention you got, and the more attention you got, the more you wanted to show. People wanted to send you tips, so you set up a Cash App address. You never got much, a few dollars here and there, but it was nice to get a free coffee now and then.

And somewhere along the way, apparently, you let slip that you were a virgin.

The message came late last semester, from a Cash App user whose name was just a string of numbers. It read, "I will buy your virginity for $100,000. So you know I'm serious, here is $7000 for you to keep, deal or no deal. Let me know if interested."

It was like one of those hypotheticals you talk about with your friends at the dinner table. Would you work nonstop for a year if it meant you never had to work again? Would you cut off your hand if it meant you never had to die? Would you let a stranger from the internet take your virginity for a hundred thousand dollars? You thought about it for weeks. The 7 thousand in itself was a windfall you never could have imagined. It was the new laptop you needed, four times over. It was a large iced coffee ever day for three and a half years. After graduation, if you were smart, it could be your living expenses for the better part of a year. But a hundred thousand might be a house, or a car, or a few years of freedom to pursue your goals. And when you asked how you could trust him to pay when he'd gotten what he wanted, he told you he'd be happy to pay up front.

So here you are, in a dingy hotel, face to face with the broad-shouldered, potbellied older man in front of you. "I saw you through the peephole," he says. There's something impish about him. Maybe it's the toothy grin, or the way his ears stick out from his head, or the obvious glee in his voice as he looks you up and down. "My, you're much better in person. Come in! You got the money then?"

You nod. You didn't leave the Lyft until it was there in your account.

"Good," he says, throwing the dead bolt. "Let's get to it then, shall we?"

"What should...I mean, how do you want to..." you feel yourself talking strangely. Breathing in the wrong places, words tumbling over each other. "Maybe we should...talk first? Get to know each other?"

"No need for that," says the man matter-of-factly, unbuttoning his shirt. His chest is smooth, his skin a mottled pink. He waves a hand at your body. "Go ahead and get those off."

Back in high school, one of your recurring fantasies involved Jason Meier having his way with you in the back of that beat up convertible he used to drive. That old thing used to get you so wet. It was a piece of junk, but something about the exposure of it...In the fantasy, he's driven you out to some secluded spot outside of town. Cicadas drone all around. The night sky shines bright with stars. He cups your face with one hand, strokes your cheek with his thumb, asks you if this is your first time. He kisses the side of your mouth, then your jaw, then below your ear, then down your neck. As his hands undo the top button of your blouse, he tells you he'll be gentle.

The man is watching you expectantly. With his shirt on, he looked like a portly old man. Without it you can see that every inch of that stocky build is hard muscle. That pink skin strains against his mass, muscle rippling beneath it as he moves. "What are you waiting for?"

Your legs tremble. Your knees feel like they're about to buckle. You can hear your heart pounding in your ears. Your body has never done this before. You didn't know you could feel this kind of fear, and yet there's nothing to fight, nowhere to flee. You agreed to this. You decided this was what you wanted. Slowly, you pull your shirt over head.

He groans in the back of his throat, a long, growly sound. His face is a mask of focus, the impish joviality gone, his eyes fixated on your breasts. "And the rest."

You kick off your shoes, pull off your socks. An inch at a time, you slide your shorts and panties over your ass, down your legs, past your trembling knees. You step out of them, and now you're completely exposed. You cross your arms over your chest, then lower them when he grunts disapproval. Almost urgently, he unbuttons his pants, pulls out a long, rigid cock, and begins to stroke himself.

You didn't discover internet porn until your senior year, and before then the only penises you'd seen were a few drawings in your health textbook. In the fantasy, you unbutton Jason Meier's pants and fig. 7.5, "The penis becomes engorged when in state of arousal," pops out of his underwear. You take it in your hands, feeling the weight of it, the girth, and look up into those beautiful brown eyes of his.

This cock is much...realer. It has bounce, texture, even a sound as his hand slides up and down its length. It's longer than the one in that old fantasy, too, and it leans slightly to the left. For years you've wondered what it would be like to see a cock in person, and now that you're here it terrifies you.

"Come here," says the man, sitting on the edge of the bed. "Get on your knees."

You falter. "You didn't...I mean, we didn't agree to that."

"I bought your virginity," says the man. "You ever suck cock before?"

You shake your head.

"Then your mouth is just as much a virgin as your cunt. Get down here."

It's almost a relief to get off your legs, the way they've been threatening to give out. Close up, you can see the purples and blues of the veins under his skin. The head of his cock pulses with anticipation as your lips part, your tongue extends...

You don't think you can do this.

Then his hand is on the back of your head.

You always imagined Jason Meier whimpering as you took him into your mouth. You were never quite able to picture what he would feel like between your lips, on your tongue; the movie camera of your imagination always panned up at that point, to focus on his face. He would let his head fall back in pleasure, eyebrows knit with sensation, lips slightly parted. Now, though, there's no camera to pan. You are here. This is real. And his powerful hand is pushing your mouth onto his cock.

A sound you can't control comes out of you. Your back arches, your hands flail, and then by pure instinct they're on his belly, pushing against him, away from him. Spit runs down your chin, and you wipe it away with the back of your hand. "I'm sorry," you say, looking anywhere but at his face. "I'm sorry, I can't, I thought I could do this but I can't."

There's a horrible darkness in his voice. "I already gave you the money."

"I know, I'll give it back, I'm sorry." The words trip over each other on the way out of your mouth. "I'm really sorry, I shouldn't have, I just, I thought I could..."

His hand is on the back of your head again, and this time his fingers are curled tight into your hair. He jerks your head back, forcing you to look at him, and his eyes are cold and predatory. "I'm not interested in returning what's already bought and paid for." He jams himself back into your mouth.

You always imagined yourself savoring it, taking your time to explore every inch of Jason's length with your tongue, but there's no time for that now. The veiny, throbbing thing in your mouth bypasses your tongue entirely, forcing past your uvula. You gag, then gag again. Your stomach churns and you convulse as your body tries to remove the foreign object, but the man just pushes harder. Your eyes water as he slides deeper, deeper, making your throat bulge, your limbs spasm. As his balls touch your chin, you close your eyes and try to relax your throat.

He holds you like that. You gag for a third time, and thick saliva explodes through the gaps around his cock, dripping down your chin and collecting in a long, dangling rope. Tears roll down your cheeks as you try to acclimatize to the feeling, try to convince your body that nothing is wrong. You think you've got it, and then he moves slightly, and you're gagging again. He groans, grips your head tighter, and in the back of your throat you feel his cock swell slightly. He likes it when you gag for him, says a voice in the back of your mind. The motion is pleasurable for him.

You've got another problem rearing its head. You can't breathe. It was fine at first, but the man shows no interest in freeing up your airways, and in all the gagging and crying, you haven't exactly been conserving your oxygen. You pat his leg, trying to signal to him, but all he does is clap you on the side of the head. Your ear rings, you gag again, and his cock throbs. Black walls are closing in on your vision. The effort of struggling against him becomes too much, and your arms fall to your sides. Your eyelids flutter. You're going to pass out. You're going to pass out, and then what will he do to you?

But just before the world fades to black, he pulls your head back again. You feel every inch of his cock as it slides out of your throat. He lifts your face, and your eyes struggle to focus on his as you take lungful after lungful of glorious air. Drool spills across your lips, but you don't care. You're alive.

The man slaps you hard, leaving a stinging impression of his palm on your cheek. You whimper. Two of his fingers are in your mouth, pushing on the back of your tongue. Not knowing exactly why, you close your lips around them and shut your eyes.

"That's better," he says.

The first time you saw a male sex toy in use was in an ad before a porn video you were watching. You were taken aback by the way the performer had pounded it over his cock, barely more than an extension of his hand. You're reminded of that image as he parts your lips again, and the rape of your throat begins in earnest.

You haven't thought about Jason Meier in years, but at this moment he's the only thing keeping you sane. As your face rams up and down, up and down, you retreat to that beat up convertible, and Jason's soft, thoughtful face. As the man tightens his grip, Jason runs his fingers through your hair. As the man grunts and growls with pleasure, Jason coos your name. With each stroke of his cock down your throat, each spasm of your body, you focus on a different part of Jason's body: his large hands, his long fingers, his shoulders, his jawline, his liquid brown eyes. By the time the man finally releases your hair, you can barely feel your body any more. The convertible is far more real than the squeaky motel bed. The hands on your body are Jason's, soft and tender.

He climbs over the center console straddling you. You lock lips, feel your tongues in each other's mouths, kiss so deeply that it feels as though you share the same breath. He pulls the lever to lay your seat back, and then he's over you, on top of you, lifting your skirt, pulling your panties to the side.

This is the part where, in the old days, you would have slipped a finger or two inside yourself. But this time you don't have to. This time you can feel him inside you, really feel him, and he fills you up like your fingers never could. There's some pain—they told you there'd be pain, didn't they, your first time—but it falls away to the thrill, the lust, the pleasure. Jason whimpers as he slides into you, deeper, deeper, and you moan into each other's mouths as his pelvis meets yours. You take a moment to savor it, breathing each other in, and then he begins to thrust.

You feel drunk. It's exactly like you always imagined it, and somehow better than you could ever have expected. Each movement of his hips brings another sensation: a spasm in the arches of your feet, a hitch in your breath, a churning, swirling need in the depths of your abdomen. Deeper you tell him, harder, and he obliges, pulling you into him, and him into you.

You can feel the orgasm building, but it isn't like any you've had before. Every time you've ever cum, you've been in control. This time, Jason is in control. Jason decides when you cum, how you cum. One hand supports his weight as he leans over you, and the other slides up your belly. You used to watch those hands obsessively. The way he held a pencil, the way he bit his knuckles when he was thinking. Now that hand slides up, caresses your breast. Now that thumb brushes your hair out of your face. Now those fingers close around your throat.

You know you're safe with Jason, but the pressure on your throat triggers some animal fear response in you. You try to squirm away, but his arm is strong, and his hand his firm. Your hands go to his wrist. "I don't like that, stop." He just smiles. It isn't his usual sweet smile, either. This one is cruel. Predatory.

Your face feels tight. Your eyes bulge. You're beginning to panic for real now. "Jason, seriously, stop!" You beat at his arm with your fists, but he easily takes both your wrists in one hand and pins them over your head. You try to kick at him, but he's already past your defenses, between your legs, pushing them uselessly apart. His grip tightens, his rhythm increases, his cock swells inside you. He's getting off on this.

All at once you're back in the hotel room. The man's sweaty red face is inches away from your own, and the lust in his eyes is obvious. His cock seems to push deeper with every thrust, and the horrible thing is that the orgasm is still coming. It's close now, you can feel it, and it's like he knows exactly how to bring it out. You feel floaty, tingly, and that awful pleasure is welling up inside you, a pot about to boil over...

"That's right," he says, his eyes locked on yours. "That's what I was waiting for. That perfect mix of...pleasure...and...fear." He punctuates each of these last three words with a long, deep thrust, and it's these that send the orgasm spilling over. A choked moan pushes itself out of you as your back arches, your toes curl, your legs wrap involuntarily around his waist, tears roll down your cheeks. That floaty feeling has combined with the orgasm to create something like how you imagine heroin must feel; a wave of mind numbing, soul deadening ecstasy. Your insides feel hot, and at first you think that must just be what it feels like when you cum from sex, but then you see the look on his face and realize that he's cumming too. His grip relaxes and he pounds away a few more times at your now-limp body. You stare at the ceiling as he moans, buries his face between your tits, pumps round after round of his warm, thick cum into your cunt, your womb. After one final push he collapses onto you, his cock still inside you, his bulk crushing you into the bed. You don't move.

He strokes your cheek. Fondles your nipple. Kisses your neck. Then he kisses your mouth, his tongue pushing your lips open, his breath like damp earth. You barely see him.

It must be almost ten minutes before he finally gets up, his limp cock sliding out of you at last. You can feel his cum dripping from your cunt as he puts on his underwear, then pants, then shirt, then shoes. "The room is paid for the night," he says with his hand on the door handle. "Thank you for struggling. Taking someone's virtue is so much better when you actually get to take it.

You don't respond.

You don't know how long you lie there, motionless, dripping cum. Oddly, the man who just raped you isn't the one burned onto your mind's eye. Try as you might to return to that sweet teenage fantasy, all you can see is Jason Meier as he held his hand to your throat, and that cruel, predatory smile on his face.

[shuenkio]

𝐈'𝐦 𝐘𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐬 𝐢𝐬𝐧'𝐭 𝐢𝐭? | Ksn.

Paring: Sunoo x M!reader | Genre: Smut! Very.

Synopsis: Not only is he upset that you spend less time with him, but the fact he saw a random guy said hi to you and you flash a smile so bright. That's when his inner beast came out.

Cw: jealousy, cumming, cursing (any other else was explicit so bad, read at your own risk)

Non proof read | Eng is not my 1st language

This is a work of fanfiction, do not throw unnecessary tantrums on this nsfw/sfw blog. ©Shuenkio

𝐀𝐍: writing a bias who look like an angel was... Something. Anyway writing smut is still limited because I'm still trying, some awkward part might happen and yeah, I might cringe in the future seeing this. Enjoy reading. ( Request From anon)

A group project from your professor made you start to spend less time with your lovely boyfriend, Sunoo. Every weekend after your class, you'd often come home at 7 p.m., which is unusual.

Sunoo finds it weird that you're coming home late these past few weeks, till he thought you'd cheated on him. However, who knows, when you went to sleep, he always checked your phone and your account in every corner to make sure you weren't doing anything out of his sight, and it's true you did not have anybody else other than him and a group chat of friends.

After that, he started to realize that you probably keep a distance from him by spending more time with your friends, almost prioritizing them over him. Which made him upset for some reason but was soon replaced by madness mixed with jealousy. You've never smiled at anyone or anybody approaching you, but for today, when coming home after finishing groceries with him, during the time he's paying, he saw a guy coming at you and said, 'hello' Not only that, he thought you'd be creeped out by a stranger's face; instead, a bright smile appeared on your face.

That's irritated him so much; when he saw that, you were changed now. At home. While he was unloading the foods into the fridge, Sunoo saw you lying on the bed as you were making a phone call with one of your friends.

He decided that he'd have to finish all the action you have been taking, throwing him into the edge, which he can't back down now; if he couldn't bang tf out of you tonight, he'd be dead.

"M/n!" The door is opened by a strong pair of arms as he knocks softly on it twice, but you can't seem to pay any attention to him or notice him behind you with your back facing him. The ignorance not only boils him more, but the heat in his body continues to grow like a chemical burn.

You should at least turn your back or respond to him; there's no way you couldn't hear, yet nothing comes out of your mouth. It's all busy chitchatting with your close buddy about nonsense things and group projects. The temperature has reached its limit. The innocent boyfriend, who was like an angel, gentle and bubbly to you, turns 360° at the spot.

His jaw tightened as his gaze was painted black. Without any warning, he closed the door slowly, locked it as he took off his shirt, left him with his sleeveless top on, and made his way behind you.

"Yeah, lol, bye, see you tomorrow." gasps escape as you feel an arm placed underneath your shorts. When you turn around, you see Sunoo completely turned on, and he looks just like he just came out of hell.

"S-sunoo! What are you doing?" Nervously asking, you were about to turn around, but his strong strength left you unmoved.

"You were such a bad boy for these past few weeks, m/n; you left me alone and spent time with your friends instead of me. A lot, no too much. Have you forgotten you have your boyfriend here, desperate for your love?" He explains with a stern tone that all he said was true; nevertheless, you try to deny the fact that you have to complete the group project.

But all the things you've said now are useless; he knows everything, and if you keep denying, there's no reason why you could be able to walk tomorrow, maybe or maybe not.

"Go on, what do you have next? Not only that, the guy I saw earlier at the store looks like a creep, but you still flash your only smile for me to him? M/n, what's this all about?" Get a hold of his control, and while his finger lingers on the entrance of your ass, circle around and attempt to slide in, but he gives you time to explain that the lie would only push more in.

"I—he that guy—he was a friend of mine; we go to the same college." sweating soaks your forehead as you try your best to make your statement. Later, you find yourself crying out in pleasure as you feel a finger slide inside of you.

"Oh really? Hm... I think I've never seen him before. If he were your friend, why have you never told me about him? Most of your friends with whom you interact are all in your contact list, but not him? I know if you did, you'd think I'd be jealous, but unfortunately, I am jealous, by my own sight!!! For now, let's see who's belong to who shall we m/n?"

The innocent is gone, the lamp in your heart making you speechless with no more words coming out to argue with the matter of fact. Ripped off your short away, as he smirked in Maniac, he had never been like this; he used to be a sugar pie gummy bear, but now? A total psycho who's probably fucking the hell out of you tonight.

"Foreplay is dumb; why not get into it, hm? I look like a beautiful cloud, baby boy, but a clout can also be a dangerous cloud when it's raining." Before you can react, a cock spring frees out of his pant, the leaking pre-cum making your dick twitch. Never in your relationship have you seen each other's private parts, but look! It's paler than your thigh. The size might be normal, but what happens if he knows how to...?

"I'm going in, boy. I'll take care of you after these hours." The dark, low chuckle gives you goosebumps, and soon enough, Sunoo slides his cock in, raw! Losing control of himself once he was inside of you. His eyes painted in wide white, listening to your whimpering sound, even turned him on to the edge.

All he wanted right now was to claim you as his. Thrusting in, wasting no more time, with both of your hands locked by him on your back in one hand, he never worked out nor did he have an abs, but he's strong, strong, tbh. The wet liquid of his pre-cum gives him smooth access to push in even deeper. The first time with you was worth it, and he knows you're low-key loving it.

"Shit, why does it feel so good?" Everyone would be moaning, whimpering, or cursing out of pleasure, yet for Sunoo, he's crying out of pleasure. Tears streaming down on his pretty face, with your countless can't-take-it huffs only to make him fasten his pace, Sunoo's balls continue to slap against your balls, mixed with the wet sound you'd often hear in a beat of music. It's so hot and aroused that your body is twirling under his touch, adjusted, and squeezing in his cock, begging for more.

"Sun—Nghuu... I feel strange, faster!!" Wiping his satisfied tears away, he then responded back with both of his hands locking, wrapped around your hip before going all in, one thrust in a first attempt, making his cock disappear suddenly.

Your jaw almost cracks when his tip reaches the most sensitive spot ever in your body, the prostate. Saliva is leaking out of your lips like hunger, as is a massive load of cum shooting out on the bed sheet. When he saw that you were cumming, a weird feeling approached him, like a string intertwined in one, a wave of jolt hitting the shaft of his before he exploded inside of your ass.

It was messy, but it just hit the spot of pleasure. The odor of stain cum began to fill the room, and both of you then collapsed on the bed while still connected with each other.

"It feels good, right, m/n?" Nod to the question as a warm smile appeared on his face. Patting your head out of cuteness.

"Good boy, we're only here once; nobody else interrupts us. You got it? Now let's restore your energy; your trembling is too much." And that is how you know: you will never leave him alone again, ever. All innocent guys are wild, and you can't change that.

"Goodnight 내사랑" 

Ps: Some requests I might write and some I might decline just because. sometimes I feel horrible when I won't be able to do it, 🥹 surwy to some anon had asked me ><

🗣️Reblog and like is much appreciated ♥

🗣️ Please mind my English! ><

🗣️All crd pics & dividers to the owner.

[bleedingichorhearts]

𝐋𝐞𝐠𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐨𝐟 𝐅𝐢𝐫𝐞

“This is just my imagine for the Legion of The Damned in the Husbandry Sentience Universe. This is not a true appearance unless @/kit-willams claims so or approves of it as I do not like to taint boundaries. So, again, this is not true unless stated otherwise. This is just my opinion. Anyways, would this be considered an type of isekai?” - Ichor

Summary - "You get offered a game from a Thousand Son by the name of "Onuphrius" and bring it home to try it out. Not even questioning how he got the right disk for your console, and how the game freaks out here and there, but you have grown the love it… at a price."

“@kit-williams, @egrets-not-regrets, @bispecsual, @gallifreyianrosearkytiorsusan, @sleepyfan-blog.”

“+@c-u-c-koo-4-40k, @marcela2000.” - Tagged

TW: None, I Think? Well, Maybe Yandere-Ish.

|°𝕄𝕒𝕤𝕥𝕖𝕣𝕃𝕚𝕤𝕥°|

You're not sure when the game has started to freak out on you, but you didn't think of it too much. More so, you were more frustrated on trying to defeat the boss inside of the game. Your determination to kill the last boss of the game going through your veins like the fires of hell as you have been stuck on this boss for quite a while, the Astartes' of fire frustrating you to no end.

You have tried every single strategy and class in order to defeat this god damned boss, but nothing seems to work very well to get him barely under half health until he absolutely rocks your shit with a super nova you can't avoid, you have to tank it. There was nothing in the area that you could take cover behind besides your own shield or magic barrier (depending on what class you are,) but even then, your own protection breaks, and you have to play without it until you die again or finally defeat the Ghostrider-looking Astartes' to gain it back.

You figure it was something in the game that was just inevitable. That it was some type of rule that your character has to tank such a devastating hit. You figured that out on your... what? 50th time of trying to kill the dude? After dying again and again to the damn attack on your fullest health and lowest health? Yeah, it wasn't fun for your brain as the boss gave you such a migraine after each fight you go through with him, but you were quite persistent yourself. Trying to push yourself through the headache and defeat the guy already. Even getting on the game after work just to endure more stress the game would most definitely give you.

Hell, the boss: Nephilim, Lord of Inferno even haunts you in your sleep. His phantom-like laughs that come from the game echoing through your dreamscape. You swear you had a bad dream about him too, but you can't really remember anything of the dream besides the heat of his fire flickering along your body. That you also didn't put much though on as it was rather common to have dreams of fictional people or even Astarte's.

You really should have though.

You really should have taken note of the current game you have “Legion of Fire” was not for sale or even known in the world. It wasn’t able to be acquired from a simple, sweaty GameStop. It was like it didn’t exist, but did you pay enough attention to that? No, the in-game boss was giving you a hard time and haunting your dreams. Why would- should your attention be taken away from the game?

Also, anytime that you even tried to switch games to try and relax yourself after the frustrating boss… All your other games flicker and glitch before crashing. Saying “Unexpected Error,” and you suppose it was alright? In a way? You only really use the console for entertainment… You’re lucky YouTube, Amazon and Spotify were the only few that were still on there. You might have just trashed it or given the console to someone to fix if you were suddenly revoked of those.

“I, Lord of Inferno shall cast, you, down!” The boss suddenly roars out, pulling you back into the game. The fire on the characters head changing; growing to a dangerous black color, the flickering embers turning whiter. Your fingers making quick work on your controller to use every protective shield and barrier you can to prepare yourself for the supernova. Your new build being a little mix, but more on the combat side rather than magic.

Your screen suddenly turns black then a blinding white. A vibration going through your controller as you can hear the magic barrier break immediately. An echoing shatter sounding out despite the raging fire that threatens to consume your character whole. Your health bar immediately sliding down to a quarter with such smoothness that it would scare a speed-runner.

“Foolish, little maiden…” The boss speaks again, somehow huffing and puffing out smoke from between his huge saber-like maw with a soft chitter. His armored body rising up and down as if he needed to breathe for looking like a type of lich creature. “You still stand from where you are supposed to fall?”

That was a bit different dialogue, but you didn’t pay attention to it too much. Your focus was just trying to destroy the boss as he gave you such a hard time, and you weren’t one to pass down an opportunity after such grueling grinding. Your fingers moving quickly to throw an extra shield at him. Something you really shouldn’t have carried cause of the weight it could have given your character, but you did. You were desperate to finally finish him off in any way possible.

The boss seems almost surprised by the suddenness of the thrown shield before simply backhanding it away. His form shaking once again with his phantom-like laughter echoing around the flaming ruins of the realm. Having his little moment of as a villain of the game.

“You amused me, my little bride.” He speaks again, his voice deep, sounding more like wisps. The glowing white slits in his eye sockets staring down your character while you controlled it to circle him as he follows along. “Yet I admire your dedication.”

Your character doesn't speak, it wasn't one of the things the character could do besides collecting items and battling the fire creatures of them game. Your character is simply a blank slate, but you? Up above his world? Staring him down with such fealty? You were not.

"Such a strange creature you are," He deeply rumbles, the sound of his voice echoing through out the flames that cover the area before giving off another laugh. Seemingly amused with the situation. "Fighting me every day, after your duties to try and defeat me. So, let me put it simply, you can't. You cannot kill what is already dead."

Again, you don't put much thought into his dialogue. Your weapon thrusting forward. Believing it just how he was programmed; to try and make you second guess yourself. Try and make you faulter from pattering down his move set.

"Well, aren't you oblivious, my bride." He scoffs, amused. Blocking your attack with his gauntlets before coming forward to overpower your character. Grasping at their shoulders and opening their boned mouth as you could only sigh out in your world in despair: another 5 hours wasted on this boss. Another blinding black then white exploding on your tv as he feeds your character his own fire.

You rub your temples to try and relax them after trying to power through yet another migraine. You controller tossed onto the coffee table in front of you with a concerning crack. Your brain going a bit heavy with fatigue as the area around you seems a bit... hefty than usual.

"Little Bride~" A deep, phantom voice sings. Shocking you to quickly look up to find the source of it clambering out of your tv. There black and bone covered gauntlet settling on the coffee table and breaking it with ease as they crawl out, flames melting the sides of your tv. Your body quickly shuffling up on the back of the couch while your heart skyrockets to the fucking moon. This... this wasn't real, was it? This is just your... headache, right? Your own playing games with you?

"I see your devotion to me, let me return it, my little bride." The... the lich? Keeps speaking at you. His armored body halfway through the tv, completely melting it. His flames turning to a mix of deep blue and cyan. The area feeling a bit colder when it was just absolutely baking. His form ever slowly inching forward out of your melted tv.

A yelp suddenly slips through your lips while you fall of the back of your couch. A harsh thud shaking the ground while a phantom laugh echos out in your own home. The flaming being amusingly introducing himself properly.

"I am the Lord of Inferno. I am Nephilim Zachariah Nero, and you? You are my long-waited bride."

[deception-united]

hi!! just found your blog :))

so i've been wondering if you have any tips on writing characters in general. i feel like everytime i write, they're all the same (their internal dialogue are hardly different from each other) and rather boring and bland. do you have any advice for this issue? thanks <33

Hi, thanks for asking! It's a common challenge for writers, myself included, to create characters who feel vivid and distinct on the page—especially when there's a particular type of character that I enjoy writing more. This induces reluctance to explore and can make characters too similar in their mannerisms, quirks, and speech. Here are some tips to help you develop more dynamic characters:

Create detailed character profiles. Before you start writing, take some time to flesh out your characters. Think about their backgrounds, personalities, motivations, fears, desires, and quirks. The more you know about your characters, the easier it will be to make them unique.

Give each character a distinct voice. Pay attention to the way each character speaks and thinks. Consider their education, background, and personality when crafting their dialogue and internal monologue. Each character should have their own vocabulary, speech patterns, and mannerisms (see my post on character voices for more!).

Focus on contradictions. People are complex, and characters should be too. Think about the contradictions within each character. Maybe they're confident in public but insecure in private, or they're fiercely independent but secretly crave companionship. These contradictions add depth and realism to your characters.

Use character flaws. Flaws are incredibly important. They make characters more relatable and multidimensional, causing internal conflict and affecting their decisions, actions, and relationships. Give your characters weaknesses, insecurities, and vices that they struggle with throughout the story. These flaws can drive the plot and create opportunities for growth and development.

Explore character relationships. Characters are shaped by their interactions with others. Pay attention to the dynamics between your characters and how they influence each other. Conflict, friendship, love, and rivalry can all reveal different facets of your characters' personalities.

Give your characters goals. What does each character want, and what are they willing to do to achieve it? Their goals can drive the plot forward and provide insight into their motivations and priorities.

Consider the environment. Characters are influenced by their surroundings. Think about how factors like culture, society, family, and upbringing shape your characters' identities and behavior.

Allow for character growth. Characters should change and evolve over the course of the story. Give them opportunities to learn from their experiences, overcome challenges, and develop as individuals.

Read widely and observe people. Pay attention to how people behave in real life and in literature. Study how different authors create memorable characters, and consider what techniques you can apply to your own writing.

Check out this ask game for inspiration!

Hope this helped ❤

Previous | Next

[wolfertinger]

(keep anon if it isn't on, please)

genuine question. should we all start paying attention to artists that salem reblogs on his tumblr? or only the ones in which they mutually reblog from each other? i've noticed he's reblogged a couple of artists i looked up to either currently or in the past.

i like willow's/fourleafisland's art a lot, i have for a couple of years now but i saw something a while back saying that they reblogged something from salem, or vice versa but it was also mentioned that willow may not have known. does anyone know if this is still true?

i'm not as petty as to disengage with someone's blog just from a one off encounter, but as an artist that posts my own stuff i really don't want to fall into salem's circle.

some other artists i'm somewhat concerned about:

sout999 (i've seen salem reblog from him a couple of times but i've never seen him interact with salem back unless if i missed something.)

(forgot their username but they had a dark brown deer/reindeer? fursona with super saturated red and blue swirly/hypno eyes) i guess this one kinda answers itself since i have seen that person reblog from salem before, but i have seen them involved in circles in the past where i knew the other person would be triggered by propara stuff... i'll list some of the artists below that i've seen in the same circles.

bupzbie (i used to follow him a couple of years ago but i was in the same-ish circles, mutuals with some of his friends and whatnot. i'm pretty sure he was good friends with that deer fursona person, i've seen him interact with them a handful of times before)

2bruza

faunbuns (i've never seen them reblog from salem before but they were mutuals/friends with bupzbie)

kurofai/bibiken/wizardcap/igaueno (looks like they drew pawberri's tumblr icon)

sorrysap/battleguitar/badsyndrome/feliburn (friends with bibiken)

if anyone knows or can think of anymore plz let me know bc i know how furry circles operate and maybe i was a bit naive not to realize it before, but after seeing the hehymn situation unfold right after the nas situation happened, literally the exact same thing, i will never not be suspicious of certain furries that seem clique-y like that. jpegdisco, mothsprout, etc.

srry if any of the artists mentioned above see this i don't want to drag someone into all of this but as someone with trauma like cocsa and being taken advantage of throughout my entire childhood and teenage years i'm tired of finding an artist whose art i really resonate with only to find out they're openly pro-para. it makes me feel so betrayed and gross and we should honestly be shaming these people more.

i don't care if a stranger fantasizes or copes with their own trauma privately, but why make a blog about it? why talk about it? why violently fetishize real life scenarios so openly with so little regard to who sees it? you people love to abuse the rhetoric of 'you're only a perfect victim unless if you act a certain way' but don't realize it goes both ways. i've seen the way that people who hold these attractions and beliefs shame people who simply don't want to see this stuff, or even so little as question it.

also am i the only one that kinda notices the propara shtick sometimes seems like a last resort for some people? fr34kpet or however you spell their username used to be peaceskiies, comfortpuppies, etc and had multiple callouts on their back. radio silence for years until they rebrand under a new alias posting feral porn. same with salem, called out multiple times, ran off the internet multiple times, comes back under a new alias with propara views. i've seen this happen with some other artists as well in the past but i can't remember who they were.

this is pointless to mention but i did also think it was interesting how pawberri also goes by ramiel and has a bunny fursona just like how deadbunny does. what's next? another ramiel? salemiel? lol

honestly. it is impossible, to keep track, of furry circles.

a long time ago, i came to live with the hard truth, that being in furry circles, inevitably, means you will have 5 degrees of separation, from people you hate. i do not just mean, people you personally dislike, or people you have beef, with. but ACTIVE, zoophiles. pedophiles. abusers.

furry, has long had an issue where popufurs, will shelter and protect their friends. no matter what. to the degree, i have seen furries that raped irl, and were accepted back with open arms, while their victim was chased off the platform. i have seen ACTIVE ZOOPHILES- not art. not fantasies. people who SEXUALLY ABUSED DOGS, IRL- be accepted right back into furry, with open arms.

knoxapoppin, the partner of wild---life, a furry that was exposed TWICE , PUBLICLY, for her zoophilic attractions. is still a popular dj, that continues to perform at cons, to this day. he has faced no scrutiny. no backlash. nothing. he is the partner to an animal abuser. but furries love him. and wild---life suits, are still in popular demand. this is the same, with artkour, and their zoophilic partner narmin. who self admitted to fucking IRL ANIMALS. self admitted, to being "addicted", to IRL zoophilic porn. yet artists like nepeteaa, continue to get suits from them.

there was a long time, i did not dare call myself furry. to this day. i still do not like to. but, liking cartoon animals, means you will be within these circles. this, is why i am so adamant, on protecting queer and alternative spaces, from people like this. abusers WILL manipulate situations, to make themselves the victim. they will wax poetic, about "lies" against them. and if you do not bother to research yourself. you will be an enabler, of an abuser.

the best thing to do, is to stay alert, and keep our spaces clear of IRL, ACTING PREDATORS, most of all. you will drive yourself crazy, trying to block out everyone associated, with a bad popufur. protect your peace, most of all.

[underneath-your-lies]

Hii! Okie dokie so I really need help! So I wanna attract a man like a manly man like someone strong and dominant and I dunno how! I’m still young (18) but I want something long term and I’m super feminine at least I think so? I dunno what to do maybe appearance wise or personality or just habits I should do cause I wanna have like such a cute little intimate and domestic relationship with proper gender roles in place ya know? It’s just like soooo hard! Please and thank you!!💕💕

Little Kitten, this Ask has no business being this cute, especially in front of a nasty controlling animal like Me.

Alright, I'll give a mellow answer. If anyone else wants an answer more aligned with the real Me (what's on My blog), ask away.

First of all, you're already doing well. You know what you want and are aiming at it, that's very important in romantic endeavors. I also bet you already have a cute, feminine bubbly little streak in you. Most girls your age don't have such a good grasp on themselves and their desires.

Attracting that kind of guy is a matter of leaning into your femininity. It's like complementary energies: the more feminine, demure and sweet you become, the more you'll attract a Man who's got a strong instinct to protect and a dominating leader streak.

The other important thing that I can't stress enough is to know how to distinguish between posture and substance. Women in general, and young girls especially, are susceptible to men who put up a front, who talk and portray themselves as confident and experienced, but lack a spine or maturity. Since you're emotional and lack rationality, a guy who can stir up your emotions in the right way (cocky banter, teasing and flirting then ignoring you, etc.) will get you to obsess over him and give more credit to his words than what would be wise. Here's a rule of thumb: pay attention to their actions, past and present, more than their words. It'll be hard for you at your age, especially while dealing with emotions, but it's necessary. If a man's actions and words don't match, it's a bad sign. It'll conversely be a good way to detect someone who's truly a Man of His word: strong, responsible, experienced, family-oriented, etc.

Practical advice for this little good girl:

A) Appearance:

Dress feminine (according to your budget of course): no baggy jeans, no "baggy-sweatpants-and-hoodies-and-walking-shoes-because-it's-sooo-practical-and-comfy", etc. Your style is feminine in its different declinations, cute-sexy-elegant-"slutty when He wants it". Dresses (sundresses, body fitting ones, etc), skirts, heels/girly shoes or boots, blouses, elegant knitwear, etc. Take inspiration from social media or tradwife Tumblrs.

Take care of yourself: diet, exercise, hair, skin, don't go too heavy on the make up and nails (keep it natural looking), etc.

B) Personality:

Sweet, kind, respectful: towards everybody (I often pay attention to how people treat staff at a restaurant or cashiers, etc. How you treat people you don't want anything from says a lot about you), don't trash talk or gossip others (of course, if you're in the right, you can confide in Him), be interested and engaged in the conversation, ask Him questions about what He seems to be passionate about or proud of in His life, don't talk endlessly or nag Him, don't question Him about where He goes and who He sees.

Smile and follow Him: a dominant Man will spontaneously lead, you just have to welcome it and show appreciation for His efforts and the thought He puts into them. It goes a long way.

Nurturing and soothing and agreeable: instead of needlessly confrontational and opinionated (no, that's not "having a personality" or being intelligent or being "your own person", that's just seeming insecure and rage-filled. You can discuss while being open and friendly. Moreover, you don't need to discuss complicated matters, it's a turn off and He'll value other Men's opinions if He needs input, keep it bubbly and listen).

Express your interest in old-fashioned/traditional gender role: it might be difficult for you to discuss it with other girls (I'd advise you not to if your environment is too brainwashed, until you can detect that one of them is also a good girl), but I mean that you can give hints to the Man: tell Him that you like how He takes charge and lead, that you like supporting and pleasing and relying on your Man, that you like a Masculine Man. He'll get the hint. If He seems like He shares your views, you will then be more upfront.

Communicate on sex: at your age, there's a lot of miscommunication happening and both sides walk on eggshells and end up frustrated. Despite your lack of experience, show that you consider it an important part of a relationship and that you want to work hard to satisfy Him and understand His needs.

C) Habits:

Learn to cook and clean: and get better at it. Learn how to meal-prep for the week (handy for you, and will be appreciated by a Man who works out [I can vouch]), try a recipe every week and invite a friend to share the meal, and serve them (according to your budget, of course. Being savvy with money and knowing how to grocery shop on a budget is a useful skill for a homemaker). Learn to iron a Man's shirt. In general, learn to serve, you'll find pleasure and purpose in it, it's hardwired into a woman's nature.

Follow some Tumblr Tradwife/Tradgirl/Stepford wife blogs: for ideas about behaviors ( welcoming Him back home/supporting Him emotionally, etc.), speech, aesthetic, etc.

Seek out that Man according to what you imagine Him to be: if you like a Man who's physically strong, hang out with your Male friends who work out and have a personality you like because they might have friends who are like them and who will charm you, apply this to any traits/habits you'd like Him to have (smart, outdoorsy, etc.)

Be patient: If you want something long term, be a good girl and wait and seek. It only needs to work once. It's hard to come by such natural relationships nowadays, but He'll come along.

Good girl.

You can reach out to Me through DMs if you have specific questions.

[th3-0bjectivist]

25’ PAGE UPDATE W/ PAGE MASCOT, SPRINGIN’ CHIP!

Heya folks! Page mascot Springin’ Chip back with a page update! This update is so important that I’m taking a five and one-half second break from obsessively licking out my sister’s infected ear canal. Absolutely NOTHING could possibly stop these deep, constant and passionate canine wet willies… UNTIL NOW. So, pay attention for a moment, because this update will make you mentally and perhaps physically climax and then bask in the post-nut afterglow you need to keep logging on to this pornbot infested platform we know as Tumblr.

If you wanna know how I am these days, I’m just fine, lots of joy over here as always for this pup! I’m still a smartass lil’ shithead whose too smart for his own good. I’m getting into lots of unnecessary conflicts with larger, monster-male dogs lately because I’ve developed a Napoleon complex which makes me insecure, jealous and aggressive. Give me a break folks, I’m a small dog/man! My testicles are literally forfeit these days, you’ve got to assert yourself somehow!!! It’s only a matter of time before a Doberman or Pitbull bites my cocky little jabroni ass, and rightfully so, and maybe then I’ll finally learn my lesson! But today I’m just here to drop a page update and then get right back to licking that sweet, sweet ear pus.

Some of you may be thinking as you’re reading this, “Why is this delusional asshole talking through his spaniel? Why in the name of all that is holy should I care about ear pus!? Please, for the love of God, go away!” Well, dear Tumblr, in the next few weeks we’re going to show you precisely WHY you should stick around, as th3-0bjectivist WILL BE BACK IN JUST LESS THAN A MONTH. This week and next, we’ll be offering a half-month blowout as a preview. Our Four-Item Itinerary for mid-2025 to beg-2026 is as such:

A. DROP ONE METRIC ASSLOAD OF NEW PAINTINGS. This year is all about personal artistic incrementalism and evolution. Original abstract paintings used to be REALLY popular on this page, still are, and we hate to sound like every other artist that has ever existed but we’re moving out of the abstract phase this year. However, to honor the past we’ll be posting abstract backgrounds which will serve as a mere base for at least six or seven fully realized fantasy-themed brush paintings! If you like the animated art on this page, you’re gonna get animated abstracts as well as fully realized moving art all year long! Lucky you! B. POST NOTHING BUT UNPOPULAR, BUT BRILLIANT MUSIC. As we’re getting a late start in 25’, we might as well reboot the musical rotation on this page by posting tracks by some of the most criminally underground musical artists imaginable. We’re only going to be posting music SO UNDERGROUND you can only find it on this blog, or on a few other dark corners of the internet, every two-to-three weeks! C. MAKE THE AUDIENCE LAUGH/PROMOTE THE EVERLOVING SHITE OUT OF OTHER ART BLOGS! Lots of memes and goofy horseshit from other, more comedic Tumblrs as usual moving forward! A time-honored tradition on this blog, to be sure. Also, lots of art is gonna be on display this year by Tumblr artists that have earned exposure and deserve respect for their skill and dedication to their craft. D. ABSOLUTELY NO INSUFFERABLE PARTISAN POLITICS. You know how these days every other person on this platform thinks they’re some kind of economic/political pundit as a result of the election!? We don’t do that here! Our politics are unimportant in the grand scheme of things, but our art is! That’s because art is resistance and immortality, folks! You want an interpretation on modern politics from this page!? Fine, but you’re going to have to painstakingly read between the lines because unlike other ‘art blogs’ I could mention, politics are not overtly expressed on this page to ensure maximal entertainment and satisfaction for EVERYONE who views it, and not just one wing, section or subsection of the modern political paradigm.

After the upcoming half-month preview, which we’re mostly doing just to measure the Tumblr winds and waters, we will then engage in a slow-motion rollout of content into early 26’. There will be absolutely no rushing of anything this year. So, enjoy folks! We love you! We miss posting to this platform, and as such, without further ado, let the half-month preview… begin! Oh, one last thing, folks! Check out our Deviant Art page, its full of crispy artgifs… far higher in quality than we can offer you with Tumblr’s arbitrary 10MB file size limit… and it serves as our full art gallery and online one-stop-shop. Now if you don’t mind, I’ve got a pus-filled ear canal to insert my bare tongue into for at least the next quarter-hour or so! It’s a living, folks! Happy 25’!

Stay chipper, Springin’ Chip

[save-the-villainous-cat]

hellooo!

i was just wondering maybe, if you could write about a drunk supervillain confessing everything abt his feelings for superhero to his secretary or henchman, not knowing that they are actually superhero going undercover and superhero’s just contemplating whether they should still go on with their plan to arrest and “betray him” or confess the truth?? cause they like him too?

I love your work so much! Your blog inspires me to start writing more!

Thank you! thank you!!🙏

hope u have a great day ahead!🫶

“Mmm…” The villain closed their eyes for a second and the hero already suspected some drunken tiredness to come over them, leaving the hero to drag them back to the car.

“I think that was quite a lot, no?” The hero grabbed the glass — still halfway filled with some vodka and cola mixture — and pulled it to their side of the table. Far away so the villain couldn’t reach it.

“God, they’re so annoying, y’know?” the villain looked at the hero again and some suspicious part of their brain wondered if the villain was toying with them.

What if they had figured out that the hero wasn’t actually their secretary? What if this was their way of saying “gotcha” and shoot them in the head?

“Totally, but you’ve been saying that quite a lot this evening. You can’t let your enemy get to you like that,” the hero said. It was funny that those words actually came out of their mouth. They were the one who was obsessed enough to go undercover, after all.

“Yeahhh, I know…” The villain drew some invisible lines into the table with their index finger.

The bar was pretty full for a work day but the hero was thankful for it. That way, no one was paying any attention to them.

The villain smiled softly. “I talk a lot about them, right?”

Although the hero wasn’t drunk, their face felt quite hot.

“Uhm, I suppose.” Once again, the villain smiled dreamily and the hero didn’t exactly know where this was going. They had a feeling but…

“One time…they were nice to me one time.” The villain paused. “I was injured and the hero helped me.”

“That is very nice,” the hero agreed. They remembered the moment a little too well. The villain had been in a pretty bad shape. Buried under a lot of rubble, several broken bones, many injured muscles…The hero had never even thought of another outcome. All they had wanted was the villain’s survival.

“The way they look at me sometimes…I don’t…I can’t deal with it.” The villain leaned back, searched for their drink, got distracted and tapped with their fingers on the table again. They were funny when they were drunk and still, very different from that rather silent leader which they were at work.

“What do you mean?”

“I don’t know,” the villain answered, grinning. “I used to hate them. Like, really hate them. I think I was scared of them.”

“Scared? You? You’re so much stronger than them.” That was the truth. And the hero was certain this was some foul game at play.

“They’re smarter than me.”

“I don’t think so,” the hero answered.

“They intimidated me because they challenged me.” The villain bit their lip. “They made me think about my own goals and what I want to be.”

“They challenged your ideals,” the hero concluded. But the villain only shrugged.

“I wanted to get rid of them because of that but they’re very sweet, I fear.” They looked at the hero and their next smile looked rather sad. “But no one could ever love a person like me, isn’t that so? The blood on my hands will never dry.”

Oh god, the hero didn’t know how to answer. Their face was burning because, in fact, they hadn’t been quite sure about their own feelings. Was it a crush? Simple interest? A work thing?

The hero didn’t know what they were feeling and they didn’t know how to keep their cover now.

“Uhm…” They swallowed. “I think there are a lot of things about you which are admirable.”

“I don’t think I’m allowed to date my enemy.” Oh. “And I don’t think I would ask them. Too shy.”

The hero stared at them.

They needed another plan.

[raisin-shell]

I think I’ve spent most of my night going through your blog, I love your writing so much! Do you think you could do kind of like a kink list for the boys on what they’re into overall? Either that or maybe something like what qualities they seek in an SO/if they have a type etc. Whichever you feel would be more interesting! Thank you :) ❤️

Oh my gosh that’s so incredibly sweet to tell me! I was opposed to masterlists for a while but I made one so it’s easier to find my stuff. And AND there will be more to come. Thank you love! This made my day. 🥰🥰🥰 Now then let’s get kinky! And this is LONG OMG I’m so sorry for everyone’s feeds! 😂 my boys are all pan too so, it should get interesting!

Leonardo

Boy blue loves his bondage. Not BDSM in general, but restraint as an art form. He practices kinbaku or shibari. He likes restraint so he can sexually tease his partner

Speaking of tease… nothing turns him on more than you flashing a little more skin or tracing your toes up his inner thigh beneath the dinner table then pulling away and paying him no mind

Tease and denial. Once you’ve caught his attention he will get even by the end of the night. Even if that means you can feel the heat from his breath against your soft petals yet he refrains from taking a taste

Male dominance. With a female he is the dominant one. With a male he’s not

Orgasm denial. Nothing gives him a bigger head than when he fucks your body into the abyss only to rip your orgasm from you just as you’re about to combust

Collaring. Should you present him with one ohhhh buddy. Hell chain you and pull back causing your neck to crane from behind

Wax play. Listen the man loves his candles. Dripping the heated wax on your bare lower back will have him soaring

His favorite fabric for you to wear is satin or silk

He loves anal, giving or receiving

Will not turn down a threesome as long as it’s your idea and you’re okay with it

His favorite position is any position which places you face to face with him

Raphael

Spanking and whipping. Nothing and I mean nothing gets his gears going better than seeing your ass ripple from a his firm slap

Rimming. This man lives to eat your ass and doesn’t mind his own eaten either

He will allow you to peg him (females) and prefers to be a top when with a male but will lower his inhibitions should it be the right person… he’ll receive anal

Oral sex and deep throating. Raph loves to part your petals with his tongue. He also enjoys taking a males cock down his throat just so he can prove that he is a soul snatcher

This is a man who likes his prostate milked or massaged and will do so for his partner as well

Loves cream pies. He has so much cum you’ll be drizzled with it

Prefers to go bareback. Let’s face it what condom on this green earth would fit him

Loves double penetration. His thick rod can feel the other object inserted inside of you

Squirting. Like I said prior… he’s a soul snatcher and nothing makes his cock harder than watching you spirt up his arm

It’s a no brainer that Raphael loves a good strip tease. His favorite material is leather or metal

Will squeeze your neck while fucking you silly sending you flying over the handle… quietly to

Favorite position is doggystyle. He likes to watch your ass bouncing against him

Donatello

Hide your sister, your momma, her sister and your grandma… this guy is a MASSIVE FREAK

Bondage. This man will strap you to a table by your wrists and ankles. He’ll sexually torture your nipples, clit or head and testicles

Slave training. Only when intimate does this normally mellow fellow need a touch of masochism. When with a male he’s a bottom therefore making him the sex slave

Spanking and whipping. He’ll tan those cheeks good and red then softly kiss the tender flesh sending your senses overboard

Anal, pegging, rimming, prostate massage and milking. Donnie knows that his back door is there for a reason and it’s not just to well you know

Electro sex, temperature play, wax play. Not only does he get off to your bodies reaction to stimuli, but he will jot it down in his notes

He also likes douching and enemas only if you’re comfortable. He likes to watch your abdomen fill with fluid and also he likes to work with a clean slate if you know what I mean

Squirting. THIS IS THIS MANS MIDDLE NAME. YOU MAY LOSE CONSCIOUSNESS

Donnie also likes snowblowing. If you don’t know what that is, google it

Oral sex and deepthroating. Donnie is a master at oral with his deep long neck and an equally long tongue. He can give head like a champ. However he tends to be a bit shy about you doing this too him. His length is nothing easy to swallow

His favorite materials for you to wear are latex, nylon or spandex

Has invented his own sex toys and several for you too

His favorite position is spooning from behind. With a male he would do a reach around

Mikey

Food play. Hide the syrup and the whip cream because baby boy is HUNGRY

Forced orgasm. Nothing turns him on more than to know he is in full control of your pleasure… and there’s nothing you can do about it

Spanking, paddling. Mikey won’t chap your ass but he does love the way it jiggles when he paddles you

Cream pies. This man will not only watch but want to taste. You’ll be cooing in a goopy mess in no time

Loves to go bareback because of how it feels. Not a fan of latex

Loves to give you money shots. His cum on your face is gold to him

Be prepared for lots of tickling, nipple play and clit or head play all whilst being restrained with fluffy handcuffs

Will masturbate in front of you or want you to do it so he can watch

Mikey likes strip teases in playful lingerie

His favorite materials for you to wear is metal or fur

Tentacle sex. He’s got several dildos with tons of lube waiting for you. He likes to watch the slippery appendage disappear into your cavity

Is not opposed to group sex especially if it’s with his brothers

Loves having sex in public. The risk of getting caught is just too thrilling to him.

His favorite position is woman on top. Doggystyle top for males.

[x--sinner--x]

what if you saw me in my bed at night and my sopping wet cunt, scrolling thru your blog, getting notifications that i liked ur post, seeing in real time how much i truly enjoy it.

what if you saw how i scrolled and scrolled and scrolled, tears rolling down my cheeks from how horny i am, yet refusing to masturbate because i know how good it feels not to cum.

what if u saw how sleepy i get after playing with myself that i just pass out, phone still open and on in my hand.

what if u grabbed it and started recording yourself violating me.

would you blindfold me so i could never know? would you tie me so i could never escape? would you kidnap me right then and there, slinging me over ur shoulder, holding me in place by my cunt, and toss me into ur backseat?

or maybe you would just go feral and take it out on me for being so stupidly fuckable, my dead asleep body would react obediently.

could i not be asking for it any more???

I would be just as delighted in real life just as I am when my Tumblr activity feed is full of likes on all my posts from the same username, letting me know you are willing to go to any length to get my attention which you very much did. In real life, as I peer into your phone over your shoulder as a stranger and saw that you were spam liking my posts, I know who you are and what's your Tumblr username, giving me full access to you, and I didn't even need to stalk you.

I will see you trying to control yourself from touching your princess parts as your eyes constantly expel tears from your eyes as you scroll through my account in ecstasy. Although I can see from behind you the very reason you are clenching your thighs together is only because your panties are soaking wet and it's slowly starting to get on your thighs. Imagine me just whispering "you should give in" in your ears, despite being a stranger, and you couldn't hold it in, and giving in for a quick release and passing out shortly thereafter, phone still in hand.

I take the time while you are passed out and take your phone and save my number as "your rapist" and even message myself on a few of the social media you own. Maybe you decide to pay your rapist a visit after this first encounter in earnest to express gratitude, who knows? I would also take this opportunity recording myself groping your tits vigorously, or whipping my dick out and shoving it as deep as I can into your passed out mouth. I would use every single part of your skin to make my perverted fantasies come true.

Once I have had my rapist cum shoved into all of your holes in public, it was time to claim you all to myself. I blindfold you so that you can't see where I'm taking you (even if you are passed out at the moment) and tie you up so that I can carry you over my shoulder easily without your body wiggling.

The second round of raping starts in the backseat of the car, as the cramped space helps me to always be closer to your skin. I lick every part of your exposed skin to get a taste of you and it only makes me all the more feral as I rip off all your clothes and mark you in various parts of your body until I have had my fill. Even while you are passed out, I was astonished by the way your body cooperates with my touch. Now, I was satisfied for the moment and now I'm taking you to my secret basement for your sweet torture.

[melbatron5000]

Maggie, Maggie

#1 Do not take my theories to Neil! None of them, nohow!

#2 Big fat spoiler, which I suppose I should have said on my previous theories, but hey. Big fat spoiler!

Here we go, I think I know something new.

I've seen a few blogs where people have suggested that Maggie is Jesus 2.0. I didn't think so at first, but now I do. Maggie is Jesus 2.0, and Crowley and Aziraphale damn well know it. Here's my evidence:

See this post about how I think Crowley and Aziraphale are hiding something. Hiding someONE? Yeah, I think so. Who the hell would they be hiding? Who would an angel and demon who averted Armageddon be hiding, especially if they are expecting a second go 'round? The BIG one, as Crowley says? Fucking Jesus, that's who. Okay. Now we're cooking with gas.

Maggie is clothing-coded as both a demon and an angel. Y'know, much like Adam is described in Good Omens the novel. "Part demon, part angel, all human."

Maggie is a bit of a goodie two-shoes. "Never was that sort of teenager, never wanted to drink, no judgment." Oh, yeah? A little better than other people, are you? Not in a hoity-toity way, just, a little better than others. A little.

Loved that record store since she was a baby, huh? How did she remember it since she was a baby? Much like Adam remembered the other two babies he was in the hospital with, as described in Good Omens the novel. "You never forget your first friends."

Maggie calls Aziraphale an angel. Not as if she knows, but as if she subconsciously knows. If she is Jesus 2.0, I don't think she's come into her powers yet.

Aziraphale expects her to be able to sense the archangels when they come to ask about Gabriel and the 25 Lazarii miracle. And the whole time he's asking her about the record, he's looking out the window very nervously, repeatedly. I've seen a few people note that a car horn sounds and he looks at it anxiously, and that does happen, but he is anxiously looking out the window the whole time. What is he watching for? In case someone notices him talking to Jesus, maybe? And when she doesn't understand what he's talking about with the archangels, he shrugs it off and refuses to explain, as if he has suddenly remembered that of course she won't be able to sense them, not yet, anyway.

The ball: Not only does she want to stay behind and help without knowing what's going on (very brave and generous), she invites the demons in by mistake, AND Aziraphale can't miracle her to go with Crowely and forget all about this. He tries in a bit of a panic, then gives up, as if he's remembering that oh yeah, he won't be able to miracle her, she's freaking Jesus.

That's why "miracles don't work like that." It's not that Aziraphale can't miracle people to fall in love, it's that he can't miracle Jesus. At all.

The main reason Crowley and Aziraphale are so nervous about Gabriel showing up is because they are scared he is spying on them and will notice Jesus. The audience assumes Gabriel is scary enough on his own, and pay no attention to the fact that A/C are trying to keep him clear of noticing ANYTHING out of the ordinary.

That light in her record store. You know, the one that looks EXACTLY LIKE ADAM'S LIGHT in the first season? (Thank you @youryurigoddess for pointing out that you had these screen shots!)

11. Look who else wears orange and blue:

I'm inclined to believe there's more going on with the people on Whickber street, but I'm not sure what, and some of Maggie's behavior gets a little questionable and hard to explain, but this image is what keeps me up at night. Why are Jesus and Maggie the only two people in the entire second season to wear orange AND blue?

The question that I do have is: What did Maggie do that had the same power as a 25 Lazarii miracle?? Because my entire theory revolves around Crowley and Aziraphale knowing -- or suspecting? Or searching for and being closer than even they know? -- that Maggie is Jesus, or will be; Saraqael being in on it; and them hiding whatever the BIG miracle was actually for and the audience assuming they are hiding the Gabriel miracle -- which they are not, although they are ALSO hiding the Gabriel miracle.

If Maggie didn't do the 25 Lazarii miracle, who did? And why? Where the hell did Maggie come from? Why would Jesus 2.0 just show up in the form of a woman who inherited a record shop the happens to be next door to the one being in the whole world who would most want to know where Jesus 2.0 would be?

So much more to know.

[godfreyr]

I am the anon who messaged you on the other account I am 15, and still young so stop cursing me or saying stuff about my grammar, I am from Spain, and speak 7 languages, so doing some errors is more than fine, you are hating on my grammar and probably speak less than 4 languages. I was just asking a question and you took it in the wrong way, but whatever be a hatful oldie, it’s time to get married and have kids instead of hating on a child.

Spread love, cause that’s what my family thought me at least unlike yours

{ You’re so aggravating… Jesus Christ… This is my last response to your anon asks, and this will be long because it’s the same issue I have seen around tumblr nowadays and I think it needs to be addressed—

First and foremost, congratulations for speaking seven languages.

If your family taught you to spread love, you’re doing it wrong. Because YOU started this shit.

The thing is: when you spread hate online being ageist, you’re bound to make enemies. I’m not the only 30 year-old here… so you managed to offend half of my followers with your ask and they will obviously retaliate. It’s pretty easy for you to hide behind anonymity, stalk another one of my blogs and continue to attack me, all the while asking people to not spread hate against you. Maybe get out of anon and talk to me like a real person? That would be a good start.

As for my personal life, even though it’s none of your concern, and since you seem so drawn to me and interested in me, I’ll indulge: I am married and I have a very happy life, thank you. My family taught me to put people like you back in their places when I have to. I’m soft, but I have teeth and I can bite back harder—precisely because I’m older. As for having kids, not everyone wants kids, not everyone can afford to have kids, not everyone CAN have kids. Again, this was sexist to say the least! So far, you’ve managed to be both ageist AND sexist… I guess the whole “spreading love” is going very well, right?

You see, hopefully you will be 30 someday, you will still love what you love today, you will continue to seek connection with people with similar interests and guess what? It’s normal! You don’t age and automatically become a boring person who doesn’t have hobbies. Blogging has been my hobby since I was your age, and it was a very fulfilling experience. I made tons of friends along the way, and I continue to make friends and connect through the things that I love.

I’m far from being an “oldie” we are not in the 60s anymore! I’m just having fun, same as everyone else. Besides, you should be paying more attention to yourself and your own life instead of wasting your time with granny here. I’m a nobody, nobody cares about what I do online, I’m not famous… so the real question is: why do you care, sweetheart?

Now, reevaluate your opinions and your ageism while you still can, and try to evolve as a human being. It will be a favor to yourself!

Ps: I find it funny that men in their 40s can be interested in games and anime, but GOD FORBID a woman in her 30s who enjoys tv series and blogging in her free time! }

*Roman: annoyed and displeased*

[princelylove]

Hi, accidentally stumble in your blog~ I love yandere jojo contents too so I hope to see your content about it :D

I don't know what to request yet but maybe we can talk about type of yandere. What is your favorite type of yandere? Mine is delusion or simp yandere (what characters in jojo you think they will be in this category btw)

Delusional types are adorable to me. There’s just something so charming about someone who’s so bent on being together that their brain skips the entire courting process and goes right into “We’re dating. No actually we’re married and have been married since forever and even our past lives were married. You belong to me what do you mean I have to stop calling for fifteen days.” I think my favored type is protective, but delusionals are too cute to pass on. As for those I think are delusional or simps, off the top of my head…

I’d also argue that Mista’s the type to simp, he’s pretty sure he’ll die if you carry your own shopping bags, but he doesn’t strike me as delusional. Love’s gotta be real to him, you know? He’s the kind of guy that can take a maybe, hell, even a hard no! He knows how to back off, but he’s just gonna keep watch from over here if that’s cool with you. I mean, come on, what kinda “friend” would he be if he let you open your own doors or pay for your own meal? He’s got a job, it’s totally on him! Don’t even think about trying to step over that puddle yourself, he’s already got you up by your legs to carry you across. He’s pretty strong, isn’t he? Oh, he’d die a happy man if you praised him for something like that. He’s like a dog whose tail just won’t stop wagging. You’re his everything, why wouldn’t he try to do things for you all the time? That isn’t weird, don’t shove him into the same category as creepy guys who never give up! It’s like typical hollywood stuff, you know? Romanticism or whatever! 

You know who’s fully delusional, though? I say this with lots of love, but Diego. He just cannot fathom the idea of someone rejecting him, I mean, what’s wrong with him? He’s the prince of the british horseracing world, how DARE you reject him??? There’s absolutely nothing wrong with him, don’t play hard to get with him of all people! You should be begging for his attention, not the other way around, but here we are. Diego fully believes that you were made for him, you just don’t understand the gravity (I do think I’m funny for this wordplay) of the situation yet. No matter what happens, you’re always going to be his. As long as he’s got it in his head that you’re more of an object than a real person who has thoughts and feelings like he does, he’s not really going to care about your ‘yes’ or ‘no’. Look, pigeons are just meant to be led, and he’s already somewhat fond of you, so just let him have what he wants. I’m firmly of the belief that if you ever flat out rejected him, he’d just think you were unwell and needed him even more. Be good for him, he doesn’t have the time to play this silly little game of cat and mouse with you right now. 

Joseph is another “You can’t play hard to get forever!” type to me, honestly. He’s persistent like a bloodhound, and is going to get in the way of whatever lover or relationship you’ve got going on right now no matter what. He called dibs on you, so, it’s totally fair. He’ll show up to your apartment or house and completely ignore his training if it means getting just a glimpse of you. So what if he’s got a ring in his throat, he wants to put a ring on your finger! Joseph goes the extra mile for you- literally. If you were to move out of town, he’d walk all the way to your new place if he had to. Joseph won’t be deterred so easily. You just wanted him to get some exercise, right, babe? That’s so thoughtful of you! It makes his day when you look his way, especially if you actually catch him showing off with his training. If you were to actually talk to him, or god forbid compliment him, he’d be reeling for a week. He trails behind you on your errands, taking notes mentally of where you go and what you get. One day he’ll know it by heart, and then you won’t even have to go on errands anymore! Unless you want to go with him, that is. Then he’s totally down for a little couple’s day out. Joseph will buy you whatever you want as long as he gets his fix in. Let him put his head on your lap and just stare, and he’ll be thrilled. I don’t necessarily believe that Joseph would kidnap you if you broke his fantasy too many times, but you’re definitely going to start losing a lot of personal time. It doesn’t matter how he got into your apartment, he made dinner. Haha, ok, you caught him. He ordered dinner. 

I think it’s fairly obvious to say that Yukako is delusional. She has a warped sense of reality. Her crimes really don’t matter to her because she’s making up for it. Look, look, she cooked for you. Stop trying to go for the door or the window. Yukako loves you, so you’re going to be perfect for her, and you’re going to be perfect together. She’s firm about never leaving your side even though she’s already got you all to herself. She sees nothing wrong with skipping dating and going right to locking you up if she thinks you need her for something. You’re failing at that cooking class that school made you take despite your pleas not to? She can do that. You’re awful with directions? She knows every little corner of town. You actually don’t need her and are perfectly capable of taking care of yourself? Don’t talk like that. You need her. There’s absolutely no reason to deny her, so let’s do this the cutesy way she wants it.