#Maybe I made Jane and Daria later lol
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February 13: Random Jane and IIFY Thoughts
Fell asleep on my couch today after work so... that's good, that's a good sign.
I was thinking a little about the Jane and Allison story line in IIFY, for not much reason at all, and thought I might write down my general impressions of it. When I watched it in HS I was fascinated by queer stuff but would not have been able to tell you why (truly), and it was hard to actually get a copy of IIFY, so I heard a lot about the story before I actually saw it. I do think I was disappointed, at the time because it wasn't queer enough--though that's not the way I would have put it--and now I'd say I still have issues with it, specifically that it gets cut off pretty abruptly.
It's like part of a story. But even that I don't hate... my interpretation is that it is as much of the story as Jane could have experienced at that time.
I really do read Jane as bi and part of that I guess is self-serving lol but part of it actually IS IIFY, even though I think the intention of that plot line was to bring us to the opposite conclusion. Probably for most people it did. The idea is that confident Jane Lane has a crisis of identity, that what's really rattled her is the situation with Daria and Tom, but instead of facing it head on she faces it through this other lens, doubting a different part of her identity. She's vulnerable to being manipulated by Allison because she's uncharacteristically unsure of herself. And that Allison rattles her so much is only possible because her confidence is so shattered.
But here's the thing. Allison DOES rattle her. I mean I have no experience to speak from but I feel like a person confident in her heterosexuality would just say, no, for real, I'm straight, and then move on. Jane protests but she's clearly, clearly contemplating the idea that Allison is right, that Allison has some inherent Bi Girl Gaydar and she's found Jane out. What was the painting of herself in the safe? It's not a closet, but it's cramped, it's confused, it's scared. Again, I think it's just supposed to be emphasis: she trusts herself THAT little. But I think it completely and easily leaves the door open to interpret Jane as queer specifically by how she reacts to the idea that she is.
It's also telling to me that she and Allison never actually discuss it. She discusses it with no one, actually--except maybe Daria, but that talk is off screen, so we don't know how much of it is serious and how much just a joke. (Until she got fresh... lol!) Jane is deeply thrown by the encounter--and it could be for any number of reasons, including that Allison was really forceful with her, in a way that could have made anyone, of any sexuality, uncomfortable--and when she approaches Allison later, she seems to want to go over the conversation again. But Allison cuts off the thought, and the whole plot line, immediately: she just outright says she has no gaydar, she was wishful thinking, it's fine, some people are straight I guess. So really what's happened is that another character has BOTH brought Jane to question her sexuality and then deposited her right back into the 'oh phew, I'm straight' camp. Jane doesn't work these questions out. She just follows Allison along. And when she finds out not only that Allison was sort of drunk-bluffing about her confidence levels AND that she's kind of a hypocrite about pretentious art types, she just lets it all go. Even if she were into girls, she wouldn't be into THIS girl. How convenient. It's a completely aborted story line, and Jane is never in the driver's seat of it.
Plus, like, she's 17 or 18 years old. She's not quite yet a senior in high school. And it's c.2000 and she lives in the suburbs. I'm a little bit younger and grew up in what I consider a pretty accepting environment, with a pretty decent vocabulary about sexuality, but I had straight up crushes on girls in HS I couldn't name. It's so hard to explain if you haven't lived it but sometimes you just don't have the concepts yet; you just don't have the words. I actually think this is extra true for bi people because we have a vocabulary and a world view available to us already that we really don't need to question: Jane does like guys, and there's no falsehood to that. Why think any farther? I would be sort of surprised if Jane did, actually. She didn't have the time in Ashfield or with Allison to see the inner conversation through.
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Hey, it turns out I didn't lose the original post I wrote & at first decided to save it as a draft at first because I figured it probably wasn't that good but I might want to read it later to see if I forgot anything and honestly? I like this one better so I'm sharing it but I'm going to update it with some stuff I like from the other one later and delete that one eventually & also this one wasn't finished anyway so just keep in mind it's still being worked on for anyone who might possibly be reading this, lol.
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Alright so I've finished up to season 4 of Daria and before this I never really had a problem with how the show was written besides the queerphobia in one of the movies and a fatphobic caricature, the whole thing with Tom never actually bothered or phased me well... except maybe the fact that they kissed which felt a little out of place for Daria character but otherwise I didn't necessarily object to it. However, after watching the season again and reading some light praise/criticism of the character I have to admit I agree more with criticisms of him and how the show decided to go about him & their relationships.
My main thing is why EXACTLY is it a love interest/guy that has to push here boundaries or out her comfort zone and why is written in a way that makes it seem like it necessary for her to grow? I do have to admit the show wrote this stuff very well, too well, because they do a good job of sweeping under the rug that Tom CHEATED on Jane, sure the relation wasn't in a good place but well... you break up, you don't go to make out with your ur girlfriends best friend. Now look, I get it, teens make mistakes and are messy BUT well... that doesn't mean it shouldn't be pointed out for what it is. Not to mention the show tries to paint Tom as nothing more than a good guy who is just pushing Daria to get out of her comfort zone a bit with no one REALLY pointing out what happened out and what he did (WITHOUT making excuses). Tom was in the wrong and should have faced some sort of consequences for it eventually but instead we get him written like he's a decent guy still who hasn't actually anything THAT wrong and is just some decent guy. What makes it worse though is with the way the interactions are written you wouldn't notice just how... unbalanced Daria & Tom's relationship really is, you would have to think outside of what the show lays down for us the viewer as being okay.
I mean think about it, Daria is in a vulnerable more lonely state with Jane splitting time between her and Tom. Daria has told us the viewers that Jane is her only friend and we are shown in an episode that being without Jane isn't exactly easy on her and then out of nowhere Tom decided to start interacting with HER more while ALONE, without Jane. Eventually alone he kisses Daria and we are made to believe this is also her fault and that she is just making mistakes as a teen. The problem with that though is that it ignores the reality of the situation, Daria wasn't exactly one in control here & possibly was even taken advantage of because WOULD she have done these things if she hadn't been vulnerable due to being more separated from Jane? Would she even have felt the desire to date Tom if she wasn't feeling lonely from her and Jane's strained relationship? Daria is also much less experienced than Jane and Tom which also leads to power imbalance, this is even pointed out in an episode by Trent where Daria doesn't realize Tom seems to be into her but because she is new to relationship and flirting and such she wasn't really aware what was happening. Calm her naive or whatever, but either way it doesn't make much sense to fault Daria in much of this and most of the blame should have been put on Tom because if we decided to analyse all this 100% honestly and truthfully Tom doesn't come out looking well and would and should be categorized as a jerk at the very least. I mean " a guy who was dating girl B starts spending time and flirting with girl A who is lonely from their one & only friend drifting away and then kisses girl A when he was fighting and 'getting bored' with girl B and THEN after breaking immediately starts getting friendly/dating girl A" ...I mean, it sounds like something you would find on the AITA forum and EVERYONE would agree the guy was in the wrong and when we put out plainly like that it can almost seem like Tom kind of threw away Jane after getting bored and moved on to the next best thing not to mention even though I haven't watched the episode yet but later on Tom is shown further disregarding (he disregards her boundaries in the very beginning but it explained away as Daria just being prickly due to her being upset with him taking Jane away) Darias boundaries by doing things she didn't want and making decisions for her that he doesn't see or feel are a big deal which... is a red flag, no? Regardless of if he does respect some boundaries at times (like sex, which I also haven't rewatched yet) it just shows the writers really weren't intending for him to be a jerk or bad guy just someone to push Daria BUT that's a problem because even if that's not what they intended that is what ends up coming off to us if we think deeper to their relationship. Not to mention he is also IS also the one who downplays the whole thing with Jane because Jane at first is VERY mad at him but then after he talks to her smooths things over by pointing out they were going to break up any day anyway which she aggress which after looking at everything else this comes off more as him snaking his way out of taking responsibility for his actions and after words Jane is okay and seems to really only harbor ill will towards Daria.
I honestly do think the show wanted something easier to tackle such as teen drama with the added bonus of pushing the main character towards growth but there were and are better ways to do that. Sure Daria is a teen and teens make mistakes and it's important to show that but WE DO see that, we see Daria at different points in the series of her making mistakes before the kiss and easily could have her make more mistakes that don't make her out to be a homewrecker. And, even then though I'm not 100% against Daria making a mistake like that the problem is that Daria REALLY isn't the one at fault in this specific scenario and after we digest all that is written and laid out for us in the show... it really is all Tom's fault! But, due to what is probably misogyny we instead get girls blaming each other and fighting about and over a guy who really caused it all.
That said, I actually DO think Tom is actually something that should stay if there were to be a reboot of the show. One of the other complaints about Tom I've heard and have as well is that he isn't really all that fleshed out which I think also helps him not seem as jerky as he actually is to viewers and with a reboot they can easily still have Tom be someone who helps push Daria BUT not in the way they originally intended. I actually think his involvement in a reboot is NECESSARY but again not exactly in the way the writers initially meant him to be.
I'll share my idea under a read more of how I would go about him, Daria, & Jane's relationship in a reboot.
Okay so, most of Tom would be the same, a "nice" guy who comes from a rich family who hangs out with "common" people, we also get him fleshed out a bit more but mainly the big difference would be how this stuff plays out. Tom would be an example of the toxic (or maybe even abusive) "nice guy," and his actions would be painted to the viewer as questionable to gross such as him pushing Darias boundaries in the beginning and seeing her behind Jane's back, and him driving to her house by himself, lying about his intentions and KISSING HER. Events like Jane's brother would play out differently like instead of telling Daria to quit playing dumb about not noticing Tom's intentions he would (maybe) question Tom as a person to Daria like " hmm, you know what I said about Tom being a good guy? I'm starting to rethink that" with Daria going "what do you mean" and him replying "hmm... nevermind, just be careful Daria." And thats it, most other stuff plays out the same with Trent trying to cheer up his sister but maybe with added lines of him trying to get it through his sisters head that Trent is kind of a jerk and deserves the blame but in HIS way & with Jane not really wanting to hear him out or just doesn't get what he means until later. Anything more than that would be out of character for Trent, he isn't a knight in shining armor type and also isn't the type to "defend his sister's honor." He is very much like his parents in that he is very laid back and trusts that Jane can handle herself, although MAYBE if I wanted to have him improve as a character maybe he actually does take some initiative to help/look out for his sister and her friend later on when things start to get worse or outside help is needed as a sort of redemption for when he let them down for being unreliable and it would show that despite his negatives he sort of makes up for it by caring about those close to him and that he wants to at least be better than his parents who he has outright said he has problems with (very briefly, but still).
The difference also would be that in my version Daria isn't exactly cishetero &/or allo and isn't exactly all that into guys but due to heteronormativity thinks she is and is also dealing with some repressed feelings she has for her friend (in my version I think I specifically want her to be a lesbian who is also gray/demi).
Sorry, I got sidetracked by Trent, anyway moving back on to Tom we would also instead get more obvious hints of him being a bit manipulative what with how he talked things over with Jane and how he gets Daria to go out with him immediately after her and Jane broke up. One big difference that would happen is the conversation between Daria and her Mom who has shown to be very keen to notice what exactly is going on and call it out for what it is like her daughter since she is a lawyer and would be quick to point out to her daughter that what she did was technically wrong but she isn't as at fault as she thinks and Tom's the one who is really to blame. She would be a bit hesitant though to lay it out plainly & truthfully because she is worried she will misstep (like she did in one of the episodes in the show) but that results in not helping out Daria as much & still feels like she is too blame for what happened especially with how Jane is mad at her (maybe even add in that Jane 100% blames Daria because of something Tom said while smoothing things over with her or something helping to push them further apart which is something abusers do although I'm not 100% on whether I want him to actually be abusive or just toxic). Which leads her to seeking out Tom's attention/approval since she doesn't have Jane and they do get along and such and have some "chemistry." Maybe we have Daria's mom try to be more honest about what she thinks later on BUT it's been too long now & Daria is more involved with Tom now and because of that is more quick to defend him and even though she comes off and sounds level headed we the viewers and her Mom can tell she isn't seeing the whole picture for what it is and sort of also seems to be sort of punishing herself because of what she did to Jane. This instead of what happens originally in the show could better help to demonstrate to us that Daria like all teens make mistakes but also in a way that could be beneficial for teens to see because while there are teens that make that mistake... it's not really all that important tbh as compared to showing how toxic relationships can manifest and how they can look, etc. And, actually for various reasons she isn't REALLY interested in Tom but is dating him anyway and eventually we get to more of the boundary pushing issue of him making decisions for her and such and doing things morally she isn't really okay with it and then ends up dumping him.
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