#Maybe Branson?

[ethereal-bumble-bee]

hello, I have a question

[spellbcok]

@vcndetta asked: △ — [lexi branson] and [nora grey] try to chop down a christmas tree in a forest.

"are you sure we can just chop any tree we want?" nora asked, skeptical on if that was even ethical. "isn't there, like, a designated area of trees we're supposed to choose from?"

[abc-felixx]

man…..

[lesbienneanarchiste]

For the record, Practical Anarchism: A Guide For Daily Life by Scott Branson is really good so far like I just started it but the brain cogs are turning.

[distantlaughter]

So addicted is Nico Rosberg to his new book, “The Two Trillion Dollar Meltdown”, that nothing outside of driving his FW31 will keep him from its pages. He kept members of the press waiting this morning while he finished another chapter, and he had to be pulled from its pages by race engineer Tony Ross prior to qualifying. Got a few delicate investments, Nico?

Another book read recently by Nico is Sir Richard Branson’s autobiography, Losing My Virginity. “It’s a great read,” says Nico. “I really admire him because he’s a self-made man.”

from the iWITNESS account of the Australian Grand Prix (originally posted on the Williams F1 website 29 March 2009)

[the-fabulous-51]

so question that totally didnt pop into my head as i watched the launch yesterday:

in WoC would white knight two be considered like a conjoined twins kind of situation?

cause i now i cant get the image out of my head

[kujiua-kun]

Lil’ reminder...

I kinda feel this needs to be said, cause I do have some new followers here, so a lil reminder that I DO draw NS/FW and Gore!  I do keep my more graphic/problemtic™️ works off this account and do my best to tag/mark these post accordingly, but if I fail to do so, do not be scared to tell me!

Also because I had an acquaintance of mine bring this up::

If my art triggers or upsets you for whatever reason, YOU 👏 ARE 👏 ALLOWED 👏 TO 👏 UNFOLLOW/BLOCK  👏 ME.

 If what I draw hurts or offends you in some way, you don’t have to stick around and can even discuss it with me if you wish. I do not own you, hun. You do what’s best for you.

[asheanon]

You know, thinking about it... 🤔 (I keep seeing New Year character posts on the dash and figured I'd throw a little one in too.~)

For my gang, I like to imagine them all celebrating the New Year as most any other gang would! 🎆🥂

But then, you have that deep, profound sadness lurking "in the corner" for Sal and she constantly tries to "not make eye contact" with it.

She's just one of those characters, man... As much as she keeps the brooding to herself, she's still long lived - classic case of long-lived character fraternizing with short-lived characters, watching them grow older another year, trying not to feel that divide between them...

Outwardly, it be like:

Inwardly, it be like:

Only once in a while, though! It's mostly good fun - like, 95% good fun! 🕺 (It's like trying not to let the existential crisis set in on the daily - always there, always looming - but the distractions and positive experiences + vibes overshadow it!)

[montanamp3]

in the spirit of the genre i'd like to hijack the current asian country music train to talk about one of my favourite historical guys shoji tabuchi: fiddler hall of famer! king of kitsch americana slay!! one of the Most Guys Ever in country music!!!!!

[OKAY this spiralled into a Whole Thing so im putting it under the cut to save your dashes. be warned this is long]

quick backstory: shoji tabuchi was born in osaka, japan. he was classically trained on the violin but discovered country through roy acuff and joined a fairly popular japanese band called the bluegrass ramblers. in 1967 he moved to america with (he claimed later) his guitar and five hundred dollars and played in a couple of bands around california and texas. in the 80s, he got a contract in branson missouri, met his wife there, and they started a show called (very creatively) the shoji tabuchi show.

this is where it gets fun, because the shoji tabuchi show is. okay. it's like if you concentrated the distilled essence of 1990s RAGHHH AMERICA HELL YEAH-style patriotism into a three hour-long extravaganza with backup dancers! fog machines! ten thousand glitter suits! SHOJI spelled out all caps with lasers! a glow in the dark space violin from NASA! like it's TACKY! it's CHEESY! it's CAMP! it's genuinely hilarious!

anyway, when people talk about tabuchi they like to say that he was the "american dream" like he had a family, he owned a whole incredible theatre with (no joke) the gaudiest bathrooms in america, he played two shows a day until he died, he performed to the pm of japan… like he was GETTING THAT BREAD!! the city of branson even gave him a public holiday!

and to be clear. i love tabuchi, i think he was a great entertainer and a great performer, and i don't begrudge him any of his success. but there are better fiddlers out there, better performers, better singers. as a guy on reddit put it in 2013 put it, you kind of have to recognise that at least some part of his success is enabled by "Asian Can Into Country Music???" syndrome. and he has kind of acknowledged this himself-- he used to sell himself as the "japanese cowboy" before he started his show, and he once told a magazine "say person A and person B play [the fiddle] just as good. who stands out, me or him?" which is. #girlboss? maybe? one of his more defining traits throughout his career was his fairly pronounced japanese accent which made it difficult for him to gain footing in the music industry at first but became iconic . some people have said that he didn't actually have that strong of an accent and he was playing it up for the Bit-- a hypothesis that is (somewhat) supported by his album named (i kid you not) ROVE RETTERS.

so how much of the shoji tabuchi show was the Bit and how much of it was genuine? and if it is a bit, who's in on it? who's being made fun of- tabuchi? japan? the audience? america? i have to admit i'm pretty biased here because the essential Incongruence of being an asian-can-into-country-music person IS funny! rawhide kobayashi and all that! and i understand why he might have leant into it and played it up to survive/get famous/get that bread. i never knew tabuchi, so i can't say that like it's fact, but wouldn't that be the most american thing of all?

[batboyblog]

A Tale of Two Judges

In federal court in Florida today a judge struck down a Florida law banning gender affirming care for minors as well as rules from the state's medical authority that set up barriers to trans adults seeking care

At the same time a federal court in Texas blocked guidance from the Biden Administration's Department of Education that Title IX should be understood as protecting trans students

And I think this is a great illustration that elections last LONG after they're finished, one judge blasted Florida's law as unconstitutional and quoted Dr. King in framing trans rights as the same as the struggle for racial equality and called on the courts to support them. The other gleefully sided with Republicans with Texas AG Ken Paxton declaring "“Joe Biden’s unlawful effort to weaponize Title IX for his extremist agenda has been stopped in its tracks"

The Judge in Florida was Senior Judge Robert Hinkle, he was appointed by President Bill Clinton in 1996, Hinkle took the semi-retirement known as senior status in 2016, but still hears cases as he did here. Hinkle also ruled in 2014 that Florida's ban on same-sex marriage was unconstitutional.

The Judge in Texas is Judge Reed O'Connor, He was appointed by President George W. Bush in 2007. O'Connor is very active in the conservative Federalist Society, Conservative Lawyers and Texas Attorneys General try to file their insane, legally nonsense, show boat cases in his court because if they get him he'll rule for the Republican side and against the Democratic side no matter what. In 2016 he blocked Obama Admin rules that declared Title IX meant trans students should be allowed to use the bathroom of their choice. While the Obama team appealed, once Trump was elected the rule was pulled and the case died.... hm. O'Connor is best known as that crazy man who ruled the Affordable Care Act unconstitutional in 2018, he was reversed, he ruled the Indian Child Welfare Act was unconstitutional, he ruled in 2022 the US Navy couldn't require Navy SEALS get Covid vaccines.

all to say when you get into a voting booth remember one of the things you vote for is Judges, who have a huge amount of power, and you can either get cool progressive minded judges who will still be making ground breaking rulings to protect civil rights 28 years after being nominated, or you can get conservative hacks who rule whatever wing nut thing they see on Fox 18 years after being nominated. During his Presidency Trump got to nominate 234 federal judges (Biden is currently at 201) including 3 Supreme Court Justices (Biden has 1) And those judges will be with us for years not like 10 years, or even 20, or even 30, no no no, Judge Albert Branson Maris was nominated by FDR in 1936 and served till his death at age 95 in 1989, JFK's last nominee, William Joseph Nealon Jr., passed away still hearing cases at the age of 95 in 2018 (the second to last passed away the year before in 2017) LBJ's last judge, Jack B. Weinstein, only passed away in 2021, there are at least 7 Nixon judges still hearing cases, 50 years after Nixon Resigned from office in 1974. We will be dealing with Trump's Judges for 40-50 maybe more years. So keep that in mind when you vote.

[wowwforever]

POKEMON EVIL TEAMS RANKED BY HOW LIKELY I WOULD BE TO JOIN THEM

Team Flare

I'm not wearing that suit and I'm not changing my hair. Lysandre is easily the fucking dumbest antagonist and if their plan is successful either they're immortal and I have to live with these losers forever or the whole world dies and I have to live with these losers until I die.

Team Yell

This entire team is centered around having a parasocial relationship with a teenage girl. Also British.

Team Galactic

Similar horrible haircut, bad outfit, and death cult scenario to Team Flare. At least they're like a semi-actual company. I could maybe just go bald and get a regular job after the Poke-government liquidates Team Galactic LLC. But I legitimately think this would be the least fun evil company to work at. Imagine stealing some kids Pokemon but you get chewed out by fucking Galactic Admin Uranus because you forgot to fill out the Paperwork.

The Lame Part of Team Plasma

Okay so to clarify these are the people that actually believe in the Team Plasma shit, which means I'd probably be spit on in the streets while wearing chainmail in New York. Why the fuck would I wear Chain Mail on the East Coast? Do you know how much rust there is? Also I have to become a ginger and worship some green manchild as a monarch. At least they're not a death cult.

Team Rocket

This one is just being a criminal. Like, yeah, you get to steal Pokemon but there's no real advantages except the free gray boots. Probably does not pay well and Giovanni leaving kind of sent them spiraling. Plus they have a lot of Koffings in an underground base so you know there's like lung damage galore. The R stands for Respiratory Distress.

Team Aqua

I don't like the idea of being surrounded by the ocean and I do not like boats and submarines. I would actively join this to sabotage their plan. Also every other evil team has an actual place to put their Pokeballs but this one it seems like the plan is to just shove it in my underwear? ???

Team Star

I haven't actually played Scarlet and Violet because I recently learned I can legally drink. I think this one is the equivalent of a school club? So I'm not actually getting paid to do evil shit. I'd probably just join, like, DnD club or something.

Team Rainbow Rocket

I'd join this one just because I know it's going to fail. I mean, it's got like four people who explicitly just want to end the world in different ways. I'm just gonna join and steal pens and shit until it eventually crashes in on itself for infighting. I'd wear my gay-ass R shirt every june in line with a P, I, D, and E.

The Cool Part of Team Plasma

Fuck yeah. This is the Team Plasma that knows the shit Ghetsis is up to. I'd love to be in on the scheme, plus I don't have to wear chainmail. Downside is I'd probably get murdered or have to murder to stay in, and they have the biggest shot of accomplishing their goal. But Ghetsis is hot so that's a plus.

Team Magma

This one is because there's 0.0% chance this plan will work but I get to just hang out in these cute-ass hoodies and pet camerupts all day. Look at that outfit, I'd wear that all the time. That being said, would probably have to be a field guy. Their location is in a volcano. I'm gonna get a call that says 'Hey all of Team Magma's leadership died' and I'd have to get a job at like Poke7-11 with a major gap in my resume.

Macro Cosmos

This hardly counts as a villain team because they're just, like, security guards for a company whose CEO goes a lil nuts. This is like if you worked for Virgin Atlantic and Richard Branson decided to summon Satan. No one can really put that on you. You'd probably get paid ridiculous amounts of money for essentially doing nothing. Con is you'd have to live in Galar.

Aether Foundation

Working for the Aether Foundation is like doing an internship at Bell Labs or whatever. The evil shit is probably fixed by the end of the game and I could just go back to researching Rotom electromagnetic applications and have that 'week where we tried to fuck up reality' be a weird company thing we brush under the rug. The con is they have all white outfits so I can't eat spaghetti at work. But even if I left I could probably just use Aether Foundation as a decent enough jumping off point for any career.

Team Skull

Genuinely this is just goofing off with a bunch of scummy weirdos. I can respect that and their outfits are thankfully not skin-tight jumpsuits, but main I'd join because they all kind of suck. With the most moderate competency I could run Team Skull. Also Guzma. He's pretty hot.

[guardian-angle22]

Tag Game Tuesday: 911 Lone Star Fandom Edition

Thank you for the tags! @thisbuildinghasfeelings @rmd-writes & @goldenskykaysani

When did you first start watching Lone Star? Who or what introduced you to the show?

I first started watching LS around the 2nd or 3rd episode of season 1 after seeing some adorable gifs of Owen & TK floating around on my tumblr feed.

I wish I could find out who patient zero was that first brought them to my attention from my follow list, but I think it must've been someone from the Skam fandom? maybe?

Which season is your favorite?

Season 3, baby!! and ngl, I highly doubt anything will top it at this point just based off where the plots have gone since.

Who is your favorite character? (Bonus: If you answered TK or Carlos, who is your favorite besides them?)

I mean - y'all knew what the answer would be to this one, right? Obviously Paul is my favorite. I do also really love TK. I know I have a reputation for loving Paul because I get very animated about him LOL... but I would like to put TK in my pocket and keep him safe forever, thank you.

Top five episodes. Go!

3.13

2.09

3.08

2.08

3.04

If you could pick any character to be given a "begins" episode, who would it be and what would that episode look like?

Paul. One hundred percent, I need it from Paul. I know everyone and their brother is going to or has answered Carlos for this and that tracks for a tarlos based fandom... but my unpopular opinion is that we've gotten quite a bit of character backstory for him this past season compared to some others like Nancy, Paul, and Marj. I feel like Paul has been part of the core group since the beginning but hasn't seen the amount of meaty plots as some of the others have. He's due!

What is a scenario or storyline that you would like to see in season 5?

Okay, I have two ideas for this: - an episode in which some of the characters who rarely interact are somehow trapped together due to some kind of emergency/disaster/storm and must navigate their way out together while the rest of the team helps from the outside. There are a few groupings we could use for it, but I personally would have the potential pairings be one of the following (or all three at once??): Paul & Tommy... TK & Grace... Judd & Carlos. I feel like these 3 pairings are people we don't get to see interact one-on-one often (or at all) and it would be super fun! - a true HEAT WAVE. they very briefly had that heat thing happen in 4x01 but I want a whole episode about a temperature heat wave and how first responders have to deal with them. this is TEXAS, c'mon. Plus the theme of heat throughout the episode could pop up in various character's stories. Tarlos = sexy heat. One of the firefighters = heat in the form of pressure in their job like a promotion of some kind. etc.

What do you think is going on in this still?

I have absolutely no fucking clue 😂 So I will instead direct you to this wonderful little spec fic by @littlemissmarianna As much as I hate everything to do with the Gabriel plot and tbh am not excited to see its continuation... if they manage to pull something off like that fic, I might actually enjoy some of it!

We all know about the elusive 5x05 spicy scene that has been teased, so what is your prediction for how it could possibly top 1x02?

... soooooooo I must confess something here...

*whispers* I don't actually know all about the elusive 5.05 spicy scene. someone needs to fill me in. I have not been paying attention to spoilers & speculation as much this time around since last season's speculation went so terribly for me 🤭🤣

Where was the Tarlos honeymoon in your mind?

Something about Carlos "getting homesick after a weekend in Branson" just tickles me. and the sarcastic way TK talks about the idea of Carlos wanting to travel the world also just amuses me to no end...

so this paired with the way the wedding went down, I think TK wouldn't want to make Carlos travel very far. or leave his mother so soon. I think TK wants his husband to feel as safe and comfortable as possible and so they spend a weekend at a nice spa/resort near Austin. Some place like this: Miraval Austin and then spend the rest of their honeymoon week bundled up together at home.

Shoutout one of your favorite fan creations.

for fics, I'm gonna be a little lazy here and link some of my previous themed fic rec lists:

but truly there are some wonderful fics in those lists!!! For some fanart: - this one by @whatsintheboxmh is one of my faves. ankle grab my beloved. 🥺🥰 - this one of s5 TK by @fitzherbertssmolder is so adorable! - this one of BUTTERCUP! by @greentealycheejelly is absolutely precious. - this one of Paul & Marjan!! by @heartstringsduet is amazingggg. give me all the paul fanart - this one of Grace by @yorit1 is stunning.

I'm not sure who has already done this, but I'm gonna tag some mutuals that I don't think I've seen it from yet (no pressure though!!) @lemonlyman-dotcom @herefortarlos @tkstrandreyes @three-drink-amy @littlemissmarianna @mikibwrites @alrightbuckaroo

[novaksupremacy]

The Veiled Law of Affection-Chapter 7

hey my lovelies, sorry this has taken me so long! I proofread but my brain is also mush post Calculus final. Chapter takes place surrounding the events of S6E1 "Birthright" It's probably also my longest chapter to date 😅😅 angst, cute fluff, svu case talk, and of course your precious smut 😜I promise your next fix (and some one shot Calex stuff) won't take as long.❤️

Pairing: Casey Novak x Olivia Benson

Word Count: 8955

by PKJ @novaksupremacy

Read Part 6    

     “Patricia Branson, 6 years old, guy tried kidnapping her in a park full of people.” The uniform on scene told Liv and Elliot as they followed him to the victim and her father.

            “Anybody see anything? Stabler asked.

            “Only description we got was a white guy in a baseball cap, bystander chased him, but he got away.” The Uni continued.

            Liv scribbled notes down furiously as they walked.

            Elliot pulled the dad off to the side so that Liv could talk to Patty. She sat down in the ambulance using a soft voice to question the little girl. She quickly realized this was not the first time the child had encountered her would-be abductor. The little girl had originally seen who Liv had deduced to be a young adult/ older teenager for the first time outside the grocery store when he offered to let her play with his puppy.

******

            Fin and Munch stood outside the sliding glass doors next to the electronic kiddie ride Patty had described and showed her picture to the grocery store manager.

            “Anybody every use that thing?” Finn asked.

            “Sure,” the manager said with a thick NY accent, “kids ride that thing all the time. You’ll have to ask my employees if they’ve seen the girl though.”

            “What about anyone strange hanging around?” Finn continued to question.

            The manager crinkled his mustache, “Does that include two guys in a blue van?”

            John shot a glance at his partner then back at the manager, “What’d they look like?”

            “Both white, middle aged guy and some teenager with a mutt in his lap. Last week, right by the front door, blocking all my deliveries. Called the cops, Arizona plates and the number. Nobody showed up.”

            “We’ve got a pair of pedophiles,” Finn lamented as they left the grocery store and crossed the street.

            “With their very own perv mobile.” Munch added as they opened the doors to the sedan.

            “SVU Portable I have your plate.” Dispatch said over the radio and proceeded to give information about a complaint made outside Patty Branson’s school.

            “Alright we’re on it,” Detective Tutuola radioed back and hopped into the car.

            As they drove to their next destination John turned to Finn, “Hey you think Liv and Casey joined one of those women’s safety boxing classes or something.”

            Finn contorted his face, “Man where do you come up with this stuff. What makes you think that?”

            Munch shrugged, “I don’t know they’re just always showing up at work with bruises lately. I thought maybe they took up boxing or something. Or maybe they’re going to the bar after work and not inviting us, hanging out with their secret boyfriends while we hang behind and do all the paperwork.”

            Fin did his best to stifle his laughter, “Look man, I will tell you both Benson AND Novak are both seeing someone. But unless they come in with a black eye one day, I’ll let you do your own detective work on the rest of it.”

******

            “Why Patty?” Elliot asked when they realized their mystery men have Patty’s routine down. The park she visits, her school, when she’ll be alone.

            “They’re obsessed.” Liv offered.

            Elliot looked up to see the van parked not far from them, “They’re here. Circle around and call for backup.”

            Fin and Munch pulled up alongside Benson and Stabler’s sedan and rolled down their window to get the briefing.

            “Watch the back of that van,” John said as one of the suspects jumped out, “The big boy, complete with red baseball cap.”

            Cragen and Fin approached the van and banged on the window.

            “It’s an IAB caper Captain” the suspect said to Cragen flashing his shield.

            “What’s todays color then,” Fin questioned.

            “Purple.”

            Fin cocked his gun aiming it at the suspect, “Wrong. Take the keys out the ignition and step out of the vehicle.”

            The man behind the wheel hit the gas rather than comply. Fin and Cragen turned their attention to the second suspect in the ball cap, while Liv and Elliot took off after the van. After a brief chase Elliot managed to overtake the van by rear ending it, they drew down as the driver stepped out and then apprehended him. Munch managed to cut off the second suspect in the other squad car just in time for Cragen and Fin to apprehend him as well.

******

            “Three THOUSAND dollars’ worth of damage to the car?” Cragen exclaimed.

            “What can I say boss, I zigged when I should’ve zagged.” Elliot shrugged.

            “Let’s find a way to send these guys the bill, I already don’t like them. They made me run.” Cragen threw the invoice on his desk. “What do we know about them so far.”

            “PI ticket pretty well known for reuniting kidnapped kids with their parents. The kids ticket is legit too.” Liv rattled off from her notes.

            “So, someone hired them to snatch Patty.” The captain queried.

            “Seems that way Cap. No one’s talking.”

            “Let’s find out who and why.”

******

            “Can my Mommy come in too?” Patty had tears coming down her face.

            “No honey it’s very important that you do this by yourself so we can get the bad guy.” Liv said sweetly to the little girl.

            Elliot bent down next to her, “Hey Patty is it okay if I pick you up.” She sniffled and nodded. Elliot scooped her up. “I want to show you something special. See this glass?” He walked around to the other side. “No one on this side can see you, its magic, protects you from the bad guys and then we can take care of the rest.”

            The perps made their way into the lineup room.

            “I’m scared of the boy with the four. He pulled my hair at the park.”

******

            After a positive ID on the younger perp and a few hours of grilling them, the older PI told them that Patty’s biological mother hired them to find her daughter. The detectives took a ride to the address that the suspects gave up and went to investigate. Michelle Osborn answered the door and weaved them a tale about how her daughter had been abducted from a car accident that caused the death of her husband. She showed them a facial aging print out that showed what her daughter might look like now, remarkably similar to Patty, along with the addition of the diabetes diagnoses. She also led them into her daughters room which she had updated to welcome home a now 6 year old little girl.

            Elliot placed cuffs on her as Liv spoke. “Michelle Osborne you’re under arrest for conspiracy to commit kidnapping.”

            On the way out of arraignment Casey ran to catch up with Liv, “Hey they said you were in a car accident. Why didn’t you call me? Are you okay?” the redhead said frantically scanning her girlfriend for any sign of bodily injury.

            “Baby I’m fine. I promise. It was barely a fender bender. We hit the back of the van chasing the PI’s. If anything, I’ll be a little sore tomorrow.”

            “Well, you’re definitely in for a massage later, but are you sure you’re alright?” There they were: the puppy dog eyes that melted any worry Liv ever had.

            “I promise, I gotta catch up with Huang, but hey.” She grabbed Casey’s hand. “Case, if something did happen, I have I card in my wallet saying you’re my emergency contact, and have you saved in my phone that way too.” She tugged on her girlfriends arm a bit before walking away. “I’ll see you later okay?” Casey watched until Liv disappeared into the crowd after catching up with Huang and getting on the elevator.

******

            It didn’t take Michelle Osborne more than a few hours to violate her order of protection.

            “You’re making a mistake!” Michelle shouted at Liv.

            “No Michelle, you are. I read the police report, you’re daughter died in that accident with your husband and now you’ve violated the order of protection and I have to take you to jail, and the judge is going to revoke your bond.”

            “She’s my daughter!”

            “We know everything Michelle, we saw the police report,” Liv shouted as she put the cuffs on, “We know Anna Osborn died with your husband in that accident.”

            “Hey look who I found,” the brunette heard her partner yell out from behind her, she turned to see Elliot standing next to a squad car with their new favorite PI in the backseat.

            “You guys just can’t take a hint,” Liv scoffed walking up to the window.

            “There’s a piece of paper in my breast pocket. Read and weep.” The perp retorted.

            Elliot reached in through the window and removed the piece of paper. “It’s a lab order with the DNA sample from Patty’s hair that they snatched at the park. Patty Branson is Michelle Osborne’s biological daughter.”

            The brunette looked at Elliot in shock, not sure that she heard him correctly.

            “Patty and Anna are not the same child,” Melinda explained to the detectives when they got back to the precinct, “I ran another test, and they are definitely siblings but not identical. I saw that Anna was conceived through in vitro. The only way this incident could’ve happened is if both women underwent in vitro with the same doctor at the same time and I’m gonna need that doctors name.”

******

            Casey walked into the stationhouse with two large cups of coffee. She placed one down on the desk next to Elliot, “Hey, where’s our girl.”

            “Thanks Novak,” he mock-groaned in appreciation and took a sip. “I don’t care what Liv says, you’re alright.” He smirked. “She’s in the crib.”

            The redhead walked in quietly, she saw Liv’s eyes closed but knew by her breathing she wasn’t asleep.

            “Casey when I open my eyes you better either be naked or have a very large cup of coffee.”

            Casey laughed, “How did you know it was me? And how did you know I was alone?”

            The brunette smiled, her eyes still closed. “I can smell your perfume, and because I’m a cop.”

            The ADA walked over and sat on the edge of the cot. “Did you get any sleep baby?” She kissed her head and brushed her hair away from her face.

            “No,” Liv pried her eyes open. “I’m too wound up.” She sat up on the edge of the bed next to her girlfriend and leaned her head on her shoulder as Casey handed her the cup of coffee. “You’re the best.”

            “Oh yeah? That’s not what Stabler said you’ve been saying.” The redhead giggled.

            “Stabler’s a gossip queen.”

            Munch walked passed the doorway and stopped, “You two tired from all those late nights of bar hopping with your secret boyfriends?”

            Liv picked her head up, “Our what?”

            “Have you been talking to Elliot,” Casey asked him. Liv turned her head towards her girlfriend in confusion, who shook her head. “I’ll explain later.” she sighed.

            “No, Fin said both of you were dating someone and I just wanted to say that I’m a little hurt that I’ve never been asked to hang out with the cool kids. I did used to own a bar in Baltimore. I’m a pretty fun guy.”

            Casey tilted her head as Liv buried her face in the redhead’s shoulder to stifle her laughter, “You’re right John, next time we go out with our secret boyfriends we’ll make sure to invite you.”

            “Thank you, that’s all I ask.” Munch said in complete sincerity. “All the involved parties are here by the way. Time to get to it.”

******

Casey and Liv walked into the conference room where they sat Michelle and the Branson’s on opposite ends of the table. Liv sat down between them in an attempt to mediate with them.

“It’s come to our attention,” the detective spoke softly “that both of you conceived by way of invitro fertilization. We’re going to need you to tell us the names of the doctors you used.”

“Dr. Stanley Norton.” Mrs. Branson sniffled, choking back a small sob.

“He was my doctor too.” Michelle admitted and hung her head.

Michelle’s lawyer, Counselor Emmett, added, “Both girls born at the same hospital, within weeks of each other”

Casey paced across the room “Somehow, Sarah got Michelle’s embryos.”

“How could this happen” Mr. Branson asked, the look on his face showing he still felt like all of this was surreal.

“Dr. Warner said it could be as simple as a mislabeled petri dish.” Liv offered.

Both mothers exchanged heartbreaking looks as Michelle began to break down in tears. “I’m so sorry for what I did. I’m so sorry.”

Sarah Branson turned to Casey “is it possible to have the order of protection removed?”

Casey shrugged, “You can petition the judge if that’s what you want.” It was clear in her expression she didn’t agree but she wasn’t allowed to just blurt that out.

Michelle’s lawyer spoke up, “I’d like you to reconsider the attempted kidnapping charge.”

“Your client was ordered to stay away from Patty Branson, and she ignored that order. She broke the law. I have to take her to trial.” The redhead stated flatly. Liv jerked her head and looked at her in shock as if she couldn’t believe what she had just said.

Casey heard her girlfriend call to her as she left the conference room. “Casey, you gotta plead her out.” Liv emoted as she closed the conference room door behind her.

The ADA furrowed her brow, “Why would I do that?” She turned and gave the detective time to catch up.

“Because what happened was a mistake,” Liv argued.

“Michelle was uncontrollably driven to kidnap someone else’s little girl.” She continued walking down the hall, the detective walking along side.

“Her little girl biologically.” Liv’s tone escalated as she stopped at the corner of the hallway.

Casey turned on her heel, “but not legally,” she spoke lower trying to stay calm and show Liv she cared. “I can’t let Michelle off the hook just because you feel guilty you didn’t believe her.” She turned back and continued to walk.

The detective’s face dropped as she wasn’t used to going toe to toe with Casey over a case since that first day. She took a breath and then followed behind, “well then give her a break cause she’s also a victim.” Casey stopped at her door and turned to face Liv while leaning against it. Liv crossed her arms and continued, “What that fertility doctor did to those two women is genetic rape.” Casey cast her eyes to the side afraid she’d cry if she continued to confront her girlfriend. “And don’t tell me that that doesn’t bother you on some level.”

The redhead turned her head and stared into Liv’s eyes, her own starting to water. She wanted to clap back at the cheap shot, but she was already lost in her girlfriend’s charm. Her face softened.

“Talk to the doctor,” she looked down at Liv’s lips longing to kiss her, “confirm what Michelle and the Branson’s say, and I’ll consider a deal.” She stared at the brunette for a minute.

The Detective looked back at Casey’s lips just as hungrily and then nodded.

The redheaded started to head into her office but looked back as Liv was walking away. “Hey.”

The brunette spun around, “Hey.”

“I’ll see you for dinner later, okay?” She gave Liv the puppy dog eyes.

“You got it.” The detective smiled softly and then turned the corner.

******

Shortly after a visit to the good doctor’s office, the detectives were in Casey’s office giving her the run down. Michelle had insisted she never signed the form consenting to egg donation. The doctor was insisting she did and probably just didn’t remember because seven years ago is a long time to remember such a minute detail. Liv could feel it in her bones that the evidence was pointing towards fraud on the doctor’s part. She just needed some help from the DA’s office to prove it.

Both X’s look the same to me.” Casey examined the photocopied paper her girlfriend handed her.

The brunette looked at her determined, “It’s a legal document, forgery is a crime.”

            “You don’t know that doctor forged anything.” The redhead sat, leaning back in her chair. Her face contorted in contest.

Elliot chimed in to play devil’s advocate, “Look, maybe its buyer’s remorse. Michelle did consent to donate her embryos, and now she’s sorry she did?” He turned his eyes towards Liv.

“That doctor pulled that story out of his ass!” She came around him to stand between him and Casey, “Come on Elliot!” she scolded, “He was making it up as he was telling it to us!” She shook her head in disgust.

“So, you think he’s lying. Michelle Osborne hired private detectives to kidnap a child. Why do you believe her?” The ADA squinted, tilting her head.

“Because Michelle Osborn has never lied to us about anything. Patty is her biological daughter.” The volume of Liv’s voice started to escalate as she spoke passionately.

            Casey crinkled her nose G-d damn she’s so sexy when she gets herself all worked up. Pull it together Novak, cold thoughts, you still have a job to do.

Elliot piped up interrupting Casey’s mental undressing of Liv, “So let Michelle and the Branson’s sue Norton for malpractice,” he suggested bluntly.

Liv sighed, getting exhausted of trying to explain her point, “But if he intentionally put one woman’s eggs into another without consent, we can’t just let him get away with it.”

“There’s no law against that in New York State,” Casey tried to iterate that despite what they were all feeling for both defendants and victims, she still had to prosecute by the letter of the law. “And we can’t charge him with larceny because stolen property has to have value, and body parts don’t.” she said pointedly.

            The brunette argued back as the redhead let out an exasperated sigh knowing her girlfriend wasn’t going to let this go. “In vitro costs tens of thousands of dollars a pop. If Norton misrepresented what he did and put that X on this form, then we have him on fraud and forgery. If he did it once before, you can bet that he’s done the same thing to other women.” Her jaw was starting to get tight.

            Casey looked up at her girlfriend, she knew when Olivia had a gut feeling like this, she was usually on to something, and she definitely wasn’t letting it go. She pulled Liv down onto her lap and wrapped her arms around her waist. “Okay,” she kissed her shoulder. She had no qualms about Elliot being in the room, she knew he was a safe person for them. “Now all we have to do is prove it.” 

            “Right,” Liv turned her head, to look at Casey, her body still facing Elliot. Casey’s touch brought her back down to a calmer state. “This consent form is a copy; you get us a warrant for the real one and we will.”

            The ADA smirked, “You know you’re very sexy when you have your investigation pants on.” She leaned her forehead against the brunette’s, rubbing her nose against her girlfriend’s.

            “Oh yeah, that working for you?” She nuzzled back.

            “Mhmm,” Casey blushed and bit her lip.

            Elliot cleared his throat loudly, “Still here ladies.”

            The two moved their faces away from each other and turned back towards him, “Ahem, sorry.” Casey nodded trying to put her serious voice on.

******

Norton scoffed as he sat in interrogation “I did nothing wrong.”

Kessler waved his hand towards his client “Say nothing else Stanley. My client made an error in judgement.”

“That’s an understatement,” Casey’s voice was dripping with sarcasm as Liv paced behind her.

“Michelle Osborne gave my client verbal permission to donate her embryos seven years ago. Dr Norton wrote the “X” on the form because he thought it would help her remember.” The litigator retorted, an ever-present smug tone in his voice.

The brunette detective was getting worked up “Oh she remembers alright; she remembers that she never consented.” She barked.

Kessler laughed incredulously, “And you believe her, after she tried to have a little girl kidnapped?”

Casey looked at him with a know-it-all grin, “Because of what Dr. Norton did to her, so we’re dropping those charges.” 

“Still her word against my client’s”

“And his employees.” The redhead countered, “We have signed, sworn statements that you routinely implant one woman’s genetic material into another.”

Doctor Norton looked Casey square in the eye and straightened his cufflinks. “All I’ve ever done is help infertile couples have children.”

Olivia curled her lip, glaring with abhorrence at the doctor. “All you’ve ever done is pad your bank account” she leaned over the table towards him.

Casey looked directly at the Doctors attorney, “You can be sure we’ll find out how many other women he’s victimized.”

Kessler scoffed, closing his briefcase. “How? You can’t subpoena privileged patient records.”

The ADA grinned, “Unless,” she placed the pads of her fingers down on the desk pointedly, “there’s evidence of an ongoing criminal conspiracy. That forged “x” on the consent form is all the ammunition I need to go before a judge.”

******

Casey was beaming, “We scored a clean sweep.” She said proudly walking into the squad room. Her eyes locked on Liv.

            “Oh yeah what’d we get?” The brunette joked as she fixed her coffee.

“Warrants and subpoenas for all of Dr. Norton’s in vitro patients, plus all surgical and cryopreservation logs.” The redhead smiled, dropping some files on the desk, and facing Liv and Elliott.

“Cryo what?” Stabler asked as if Casey was speaking a foreign language.

Casey chuckled, “Where egg, sperm, and embryos are frozen and stored,” she schooled him.

“Any of this make an impression on Dr Norton?” He grabbed one of the files Casey dropped off and thumbed through it.

“Nope guy still thinks he did a favor for the Branson’s.” The counselor sat down on the edge of Liv’s desk placing her hands on her knee, “Anyway, Sarah’s medical records have a notation that none of her eggs fertilized.” She discretely caressed her girlfriend's knee with her thumb. The brunette felt it between her legs.

“So, Norton just slipped her one of Michelle’s.” Elliot shrugged.

Casey nodded, mindless tracing little circles on Liv’s knee, just brushing against the start of her thigh.

Liv popped up off the desk as the redhead’s followed her, “Okay so we get him on a couple of counts of fraud, he loses his license and does some time.” It was taking all of her willpower not so slam herself up against Casey right there in the squad room. The way the ADA’s eyes glistened as she smoothly negotiated subpoenas and plea deals just did something for Liv that she never expected.

“Yeah, and all thanks to the persistence of a beautiful brunette detective from the one six.” Casey bit her lip, subtly linking the tips of her fingers with Liv’s. “Damn I need to get you home.”

Liv blushed; desire written all over her face.

Cragen walked up next to them with a distraught look on his face, “Two-two just called. They’re mobilized.”

“For What?” the brunette looked at him confused.

The captain put his hands in his pockets, “Patty.”

******

            Thankfully with the quick work of the SVU detectives they were able to find Patty pretty quickly with a sweep of Michelle Osborn’s house for some semblance of clues. The time and place on the back of a family photo indicated a beach house that Michelle owned. The detectives swiftly mobilized there to find Michelle and Patty. Liv was heartbroken when she learned that Michelle misled Patty by saying her parents didn’t want her. 

*****

“You have to do something, babe.” Olivia took a sip of her wine leaning over the island at Casey’s.

            The redhead scoffed, “I thought you wanted me to plead her out? I can’t keep changing course based on your emotions.” She stared at Liv in disbelief.

            The brunette sighed and placed her glass down, “I know what I said earlier but Michelle is terrorizing this little girl. Patty Branson is a distraught six-year-old who doesn’t understand why this woman is trying to rip her away from her family and I feel for Michelle but she’s making it so much worse.”

            The ADA took her hand across the counter and ran the pad of her thumb across it, “You know that your huge heart is one of the things I find most attractive about you, right? I just have to make sure I don’t get my ass chewed out by Branch for letting that beautiful heart cloud my judgement.” She brought her girlfriends hand up to her lips and kissed across the detective’s knuckles. She glanced up at Liv, cocking her eyebrow, “is this helping make up for the fact that we argued earlier?”

            “Casey,” Olivia sighed.

            The redhead frowned, “Hey I’m sorry, I was just trying to do my job.”

            Olivia smiled and held Casey’s hand between her own, “No that’s not what I was getting at.” she chuckled. “What I was going to say,” she rubbed her girlfriend's hand soothingly, “is we’re not always going to agree on work. We may even shout out each other from time to time, but I promise never to go to bed angry at you as long as you’ll have me.”

She stood up and leaned in to delicately kiss the ADA, “and I promise to always have dinner waiting for you, even if its leftovers in the microwave.”

The redhead giggled into the kiss and draped her arms around Liv’s neck. “And I will always be grateful for that, Detective.” Liv stood up straight pulling Casey out of her chair and grabbing her legs, wrapping them around her waist, and placing her on the counter. The brunette started nibbling and kissing down her lover's jaw and then her neck. “Mmm,” the redhead sighed, “you are so wonderful.” She ran her hands through Liv’s hair.

The detective chuckled, “Mmm, I’ll remember that next time we fight.” Casey laughed and pressed her palm against the brunette’s cheek, nipping at her lower lip and then kissing her. Liv raised her eyebrow and flashed a grin, “thanks for making this easy for me.” She ran her fingers up Casey’s bare thighs and up under the skirt she was wearing. She pushed it up and pulled the redhead to the edge of the counter, sliding her hand up the attorney’s inner thigh. She gasped as she made her way to Casey’s center, she leaned in to kiss her neck. “Assistant District Attorney Casey Novak, have you not been wearing any underwear all day?” 

The redhead smiled deviously, her hand on the back of Liv’s head holding her to her neck, “Mmmm, well, Detective, if we hadn’t argued, I had planned on pulling you into the bathroom of the courthouse, or my office, or the backseat of a taxi.” She giggled.

“Babe!” Liv looked at the younger woman in shock. “Getting adventurous?”

“Mmm maybe a little bit. It’s hard to control myself around you. Do you know how many times when you’re getting heated about a case, I just want to bend you over your own desk?”

The brunette pulled back and looked Casey in the eyes, her own glossed over, pupils dilated. “I really do that much to you?”

The redhead bit her lip and then nodded. “You, Olivia Benson, make me crazy.”

Liv took this opportunity to slide her middle finger into Casey’s heat causing her breath to hitch.

“Fuck.” The ADA exhaled. She spread her legs slightly allowing her girlfriend more access, who then slipped another finger in. Casey gasped again, “Liv.”

The detective toyed with her lover, slowly playing with her arousal, watching Casey whimper with each movement. “Feels good, Daddy?”

Casey let out a moan, “Ohhhh, feels really good baby.”

Liv pushed the redhead’s skirt up further and laid her back across the counter. She brought her mouth down to Casey’s heat, lapping up everything she’d already spilled from her lover, and then brought her tongue up to her clit. When she did this, Casey’s head shot up as heavy sighs fell from her lips. The ADA tangling her fingers in Liv’s hair pulling her tighter to her body. “Hey baby I need you to do me a favor,” the brunette whispered, “can you spell my name for me?” She kissed down on her clit, a few quick swipes of the tongue.

Casey was panting hard, but what Liv asked of her caught her off guard. “What?”

Liv kissed her clit again and continued to do so between each word. “Spell. My. Name. Please. Humor me Casey.”

The redhead quirked her brow, still confused about why they were having a strange conversation right this minute. She decided to oblige. “O—”

As she did Liv pressed down on her girlfriend's clit, tracing the letter “O” across it with the tip of her tongue.

“Mmmm,” Casey inhaled sharply as she caught on. “L—” she whispered. “I—” she was whimpering and panting softly trying hard to concentrate “V—.” “I—oh god baby I, I’m gonna.” Her breathing was getting shallow, “A—” she could barely keep still, she was almost there, she tangled her fingers tighter in her lover's hair pulling her closer as she started over. “O—” that was all it took, “Oh, Oh, Ohhhh!” Casey let go, an orgasm surging through her body, coming hard as Liv lapped it up, humming and moaning with delight.

“Mmm, Casey do you know how fucking good you taste?” The brunette wiped the corners of her mouth and licked her fingers.

Casey sat up trying to catch her breath. “Detective if I didn’t know any better, I’d say you were trying keep me around for a while,” she chuckled.

“Mmm maybe just for a little while,” Liv grinned as she kissed the redhead sultrily.

“That’s it, you’re in for it. Bedroom, now.” She hopped down off the counter and took the brunette by the hand leading her to the bed, pushing her back onto the mattress. Casey was in nothing but her bra before Liv could blink. She straddled the brunette and unbuckled Liv’s belt. “Wanna see a new trick I learned?” She bit her lip, smiling mischievously.

Liv looked at her lover surprised, “You have tricks I don’t know yet Counselor?”

The redhead giggled, “I got bored in my office the other day.” She pulled Liv’s belt off her pants and began to loop it around itself a few times and then held out a hand reaching for Liv’s. Liv furrowed her brow but cautiously gave the ADA her hands. Casey slipped the belt over the detective's hands and then pulled the end of the strap tight with her teeth.

“Is, is that okay?” Casey asked to check in, making sure Liv was good with what she was doing since it was new for them.

“Oh, that was,” Liv gasped with surprise, “impressive.” If she wasn’t soaked in arousal before she was now.

“You like that?” Casey asked with her eyebrow raised and her troublemaker grin. She brought Liv’s arms over her head and hooked the belt to the headboard. “Don’t move,” she scolded and brought her mouth down to her girlfriend's ear. “Be a good girl for Daddy.” She whispered and bit down into the side of the brunette’s neck.

“Oh, Casey,” Liv mewled, “Oh, baby mmm” She wanted to feel Casey’s skin, dig her nails into her back. Each struggle against her restraints made her throb, the leather rubbing against her wrists driving her wild.

The ADA was taking her time, sucking deep bruises into her lover’s neck. “Keep still baby,” she cooed, “I’m just getting started.” After she finished marking up Liv’s neck, she turned her attention downward. She unbuttoned Liv’s shirt one button at a time and threw it open, bringing her mouth down to tease the brunette’s nipples. She pulled each one into her mouth, wrapping her tongue around it and grazing it softly with her teeth, letting them go with a pop. She continued to roll and pinch them between her fingers as she kissed down the detective’s stomach.

“Fuck Casey,” Liv’s soft pants made the redhead simper. She tried to wriggle against the restraints again causing her to moan loudly. “Don’t tease.”

“Detective, you better stop resisting.” Casey joked as she shimmied her girlfriend’s pants down and then tossed them to the floor and then settled between her legs. “Mmm, baby you are so fucking wet. It might take me hours to clean all this up.” She taunted as she ran her tongue through the brunette’s folds. “Olivia,” the ADA whimpered, “G-d you taste so amazing.” She plunged her tongue into Liv’s core, gently fucking her, moaning as Liv’s nectars dripped down her chin.

“Oh Fuck!” the brunette cried out, pulling against her cuffs, her hips bucking towards the redhead's face.

Casey pulled her tighter, the tip of her tongue brushing against Liv’s g-spot driving her wild. She moaned against the brunette’s center, sending vibrations up her body.

“Mmmm Casey,” Liv whined, “Mmm Daddy, don’t stop.” her breath ragged. “Oh G-d, Oh G-d.” Her eyes rolled back as she pulled against the restraints, her body tightened as her walls contracted and she came on Casey’s tongue.

The ADA moaned loudly into Liv as she felt her let go, her mouth filling with her girlfriend's sweet juices. She pumped her tongue slowly as the brunette came down and then licked her clean. She ran her tongue across her lips as she looked up at her girlfriend smiling, kissing her thighs, and resting her head against one for a moment. The redhead brought herself back up and kissed Liv, sliding her tongue into her mouth, savoring the moment, and holding her thumb and fingers to the brunette's chin.

“You are such a good, good girl.” Casey kissed her again lightly and nibbled down her neck as she undid the restraints. She kissed Liv’s wrists and then laid against her as Liv wrapped her arms around the attorney.

“God, you are so fucking sexy.” Liv kissed Casey on her temple and then traced soft circles across her smooth skin.

******

Casey headed down to the jail to confront Michelle Osborne about her most recent kidnapping attempt.

“You can’t kidnap your own daughter.” Hissed as she was led towards the interrogation cell by one of the Riker’s guards. Struggling to turn her head to look Casey in the eyes.

 “The law says she isn’t yours.” The redhead argued, her patience with Michelle had long run out.

“Well, the law is wrong.” Michelle sat down on the bench in the cell, as everyone filed in and followed suit.

Emmett tossed her briefcase on to the table, “We should just forget about the law and focus on what’s right.”

Casey couldn’t help but laugh, “What’s right is for your client to accept that she has no claim to patty. You’re a victim Michelle we can take that into consideration.”

“How much consideration?” her lawyer queried.

“We’re still willing to make an offer, Michelle will have to serve three to five and get counseling.” The redhead stated, staring blankly waiting for a response.

“No thank you.” Michelle shook her head in protest.

“If you go to trial and get convicted. You’re looking at fifteen years in prison.” Casey was in disbelief.

“I’ll be acquitted, then I’ll sue for custody.” Michelle stated haughtily.

“Are you kidding me?” the ADA turned to the counselor, “This isn’t your idea, is it? It’ll never work.”

“I have to try.” The defendant whispered with determination.

“You can’t!” Michelle turned to see this exclaim come from Sarah Branson who was standing a few feet away from the cell with Olivia in tow.

Casey stood up in shock and looked towards Sarah Branson who had just walked in, and then to Olivia who had clearly brought her. “Why did you bring her here?”

Liv looked at Casey reassuringly, “Because she wanted to come.”

Sarah Branson was sobbing “I know you lost your daughter, but can’t you see what you’re doing to Patty? Please, a mother wouldn’t do this to any child.” She pleaded with tears in her eyes.

******

“Look I’m not mad babe, I’m just saying a little heads up with you were bringing her to the jail would’ve been nice.” Casey said as the two women stepped on the train. They both reached for the center pole, opting to stand. Liv wrapped her arm around the redhead’s waist holding her tight to her as the train started.

“You’re right Case, I’m sorry.” Liv frowned, “I promise to work on communicating.”

“Just pretend we’re in bed, you communicate great there.” Casey teased, smirking, eyeing her girlfriend up and down until she realized an old man glaring at her from one of the nearby seats. “Sorry.” She cleared her throat.

The brunette giggled. “I’ll take that into consideration.”

The got off at their stop and walked down off the platform, “Coffee?” Liv grabbed the ADAs hand and laced their fingers together. The redhead blushed a little, the feeling that Liv wasn’t afraid to be seen with her filling her with butterflies.

“Maybe on the way back?” Casey mused, “I just want to be able to think straight again.” She shook her head realizing her phrasing, “I mean, I need to concentrate.”

Liv reached around the redhead to ring the doorbell of the Stabler house. The door opened and the two women were greeted by a very confused Kathy Stabler.

“Liv! Hi. and—” she scrunched up her face trying to figure out who Casey was and what she and Oliva were doing there. She looked familiar but they had never been properly introduced.

“Oh, hey Kathy, it’s nice to meet you, I’m the SVU ADA Casey Novak.” She let go of Liv’s hand to extend it to the blonde in the doorway.

Kathy’s eyes followed her hand and shook it, still looking puzzled until she glanced at Liv and then back at Casey and it clicked. “Oh, OH right hi! Genuinely nice to meet you! You need to talk to Elliot? He’s at the park with the twins. It’s three blocks that way and two blocks right.” she pointed down the street.

“Not me, just Casey here.” The brunette stated and placed her hand on the small of her girlfriend’s back.

“Ah well in that case, Liv why don’t you come in for a cup of coffee.” Kathy motioned towards herself. “Seems like we have some catching up to do.”

The detective glanced at her lover, “You gonna be okay on your own?”

“Yeah babe, stay, have coffee. I think we all know I can handle Elliot.” She chuckled nervously. She gave Liv a quick kiss and headed off down the block.

Liv and Kathy moved to the kitchen as Elliot’s wife poured them both a cup of coffee. “So,” Kathy looked at Liv, “I’m guessing that’s my husband’s new softball friend and the reason you’re wearing a turtleneck?”

The brunette snorted into her coffee and her face went flush. “Yeah, that’s Casey. She’s the best thing that could’ve happened to me.”

“I’ve gotta say I’ve never seen you so— open, with anyone before. It’s refreshing. Do you love her?” the blonde asked sitting down at the table.

Liv followed suit and took a sip of her coffee, “I want to. I just don’t know if I’m ready to say it yet.”

“Boy, you and Elliot really are two sides of the same coin,” Kathy laughed, “took him forever to say it, even though now he’ll admit he always knew. You know, I used to worry about you two. He’d confide in my why I didn’t need to and how he was the only one who knew about it so of course I just thought it was an excuse” she rambled as she took another sip, “but,” she paused. “I’ve never seen you look at my husband the way you looked at her on my porch.”

*****

“Hey Dad, who’s that lady staring at us?” Lizzie asked as Elliot picked up the basketball, trying to explain to Dickie why hogging the ball would end up hurting his game eventually.

Casey was leaned up against the chain link fence at the park entrance. Her thumbs hooked through the belt loops on her jeans.

“Afternoon” Elliot smiled, confused.

“Yeah, your wife said I could find you here.” The redhead smiled.

“Dickie, Elizabeth, this is Ms. Novak. We work together.” He tussled his children’s hair and introduced them to his friend.

“You guys look like a couple of pros out there,” she approached the detective and the twins on the blacktop.

“Yeah, so go practice, and no hogging the ball.” He tossed them the ball as he and Casey stepped off to the side, “Let me guess, you just happened to find yourself on the ass end of Queens?”

“Michelle Osborne trial prep. I need a reality check.” She nodded, looking for some time of reassurance.

“Okay for what? Wait, Kathy told you I was here? You got Kathy to tell you a female she’s never met, my location?”

She shot him a look of c’mon Elliot, I radiate non-threatening LGBT energy.

A light bulb went off in his head, “You brought Liv, didn’t you? And she’s uhm.” He motioned his finger up and down his neck.

“See I knew you’d get there.” She crinkled her nose teasingly.

“Okay so about what?” Elliot asked jumping back to the original topic.

“There’s no way to win it.” The redhead stated, hoping Elliot would either bluntly tell her she was right or help her find a work around.

“You got her cold on the evidence.” Stabler shrugged as he headed towards the fence.

Casey shook her head, “Defense has already won the jury. Once they hear about what happened to Michelle, no one’s gonna care about evidence.”

“Are you worried about losing this case?” Elliot bent down by the fence to pick up his towel. “Or are you having second thoughts.”

The ADA stopped, turning to face him. “I don’t think the law can do anyone justice in this case.”

Elliot mopped his brow, “Are you just figuring that out now?” He sat down with his back against the fence.

“Michelle gets convicted; she goes to prison.” She tried to work out the conundrum out loud, “If Michelle gets acquitted, she’ll never let go of Patty and there will be no end to this.” Her voice got somber, “Either way, somebody loses.”

“Right.” Elliot looked up at her, his voice softer than usual, “What’s the question?”

Casey thought hard, finding it hard to articulate what she was thinking. She chewed on her lip, sighed, and sat down on the ground next to him. “If you found out you had another kid out there, would you want it?” She asked Elliot with genuine curiosity.

“Damn right I would.” The detective nodded.

“So, you know why she’s obsessed.”

“It’s not an obsession,” he shook his head, “it’s a love. It’s a connection that transcends everything and anything.”

Casey studied his face, now she realized how he could be so gruff but also so good with children. He was a good father, a good man. She smiled, thankful for his friendship as she continued to listen.

“I would die for my children and nothin’ in this world that would ever change that. Ever.” Elliot beamed with pride as he spoke.

The young ADA furrowed her brow in concern, “So Michelle and Sarah will never stop fighting over Patty.” She smiled but it was a sullen smile, full of sadness.

Elliot looked down thoughtfully, took a breath and began to recite from the bible, “And King Solomon said, “Bring me a sword. Divide the living child in two. Give half to one and half to the other.”

“Except I can’t split the baby.” The redhead said, her voice low, melancholy.

Stabler grinned, imparting a small modicum of wisdom on his friend, “Solomon didn’t have to.”

Casey looked at him puzzled and then it clicked, she grinned. “Thanks Elliot, I’m gonna go get Liv and make sure she hasn’t told your wife anything embarrassing about me yet.” She blushed and headed back down the street. Elliot took a sip of water and waved her off and then headed back to the twins.

*****

The redhead stood in front of her dresser, taking her watch off and placing it in her jewelry box, “I don’t think I can do this.” She sighed.

Liv could hear the stress in her voice, “What do you mean, honey? I thought you and Elliot came up with a plan. He had “sage advice” you said, which I gotta say I wouldn’t expect someone to say about Elliot as much as I love him.”

Casey gave her a look, “Normally I would agree with you but in this case he was right. However, that also means I essentially have to bully a child on the witness stand. Sure, it’s for the greater good, but hasn’t she been through enough? I mean people already think I’m a bitch, I’m going to look exceptionally cruel tomorrow.”

“Hey,” Liv ran her hands down her girlfriend's arms and took her by the hands. “you’re doing what’s best for that little girl. She’ll understand one day and anyone worth their smarts will see what you’re doing. You’re going to be brilliant; you always are.” She tugged Casey closer and kissed her, “Come to bed baby, you need to rest.”

The redhead threw on one of Liv’s old PD shirts and some sleep shorts. “I hate this,” she mumbled as she turned down her side of the bed. “I feel sick.” She rubbed the moisturizer on the nightstand onto her hands and neck before climbing into bed.

Liv held out her arm for Casey to cuddle up against her, who happily snuggled in, “What if I wanted to hold you tonight?” she joked.

“Tough, come here.” The brunette kissed her girlfriends head and held her close. She ran her fingertips slowly up and down Casey’s arm and closed her eyes.

Casey couldn’t sleep. She stared at the ceiling fan for hours, her only comfort was the sound of Liv’s heartbeat and the rise and fall of her chest as she slept peacefully. She had no idea how she was going to make it through tomorrow. Before she knew it there was daylight peeking through the window.

*******

Casey looked down at the little girl in the witness box, “Patty do you see the person who took you from the museum?

“Yes” the small child pointed to Michelle, “she’s over there.”

The ADA turned to the court stenographer, “Let the record show that she’s indicated defendant Michelle Osborne.” She turned back towards Patty, “So why did you go with her, Patty?”

“She said she had to take me to my mommy.” The child fidgeted with her hands.

“Where did she take you?” The redhead asked flatly trying to keep her tone easy for Patty to understand.

 “To her house. Mommy wasn’t there.” Patty said sadly.

Casey turned back towards Michelle, “Did you ask her where Mommy was?”

“Yes Michelle said she’s my real mommy. My egg mommy.” The little girl was physically upset.

“Did she tell you what that means?” The ADA continued her questioning even though she could feel the knot building in her stomach.

 “She said I came out of mommy’s tummy but the egg that I came from came from her tummy.” Even though Patty was distraught it was still clear she was extremely intelligent for a six-year-old.

Casey stammered silently for a moment trying to prepare herself for what she needed to do. Her insides were twisted, she wished she had a moment to glance at Liv. She knew if she could just see her, she’d feel better and know she was doing the right thing. “What did you do while at Michelles house, Patty?

Patty shrugged, “Watched TV, played with toys.”

“Do you think Michelle is nice?” The counselor inquired.

Patty shrugged again, “She’s okay.”

The redhead leaned down to get eye level, “You know what Michelle said about being your egg mommy is true right?” Casey took a deep breath, “Your Honor?”

Judge Bradley looked at the small child sympathetically, “Please answer the question, Patty.”

“No! It’s not true.” The little girl began to sob.

“Yes, it is Patty.” Casey’s voice had now become stern, confrontational. Come on Novak, don’t lose it, DO NOT throw up.

“Michelle’s not my mommy!” Patty sobbed, sweet innocent tears, breaking Casey’s heart.

 “You came from her egg, that is true.” The ADA corrected, almost fussing.

Michelle looked towards Sarah Branson, tears welling in her eyes.

“I want to go now.” Patty cried, big tears rolling down her face.

 “No, you can’t until we’re finished!” Casey scolded. She needed this to be over before she tossed her cookies. Sarah Branson began weeping from the gallery.

“I don’t want to go with Michelle.” The little girl continued to sob.

Emmet slammed her hand on the defense table. “Your honor she’s just a little girl!”

“Is this line of questioning really necessary?” Judge Bradley empathized.

“Patty, do you understand?” Casey pushed, she hated herself for this.

Patty was in hysterics at this point, “I don’t want to go with Michelle!”

“You don’t have to Patty—Not yet.” The redhead’s volume was elevated, her voice echoing throughout the courtroom.

“I want my mommy and daddy!” Patty shouted.

“No, you have to stay here!” The ADA remained stern.

Patty turned towards Michelle, “Please! Don’t take me away, please!”

Michelle stood up and shouted, “Stop! Just stop it.”

“Sit down!” The judge ordered Michelle.

“Patty I’m sorry,” Michelle wept, struggling to get words out, “I won’t ever bother you again.”

Patty ran to her parents, Casey stayed facing the witness stand breathing a silent sigh of relief that her and Elliot’s plan worked.

Michelle pleaded with the judge, “Ill please guilty if that’s what it takes. Just leave Patty alone.”

Casey closed her eyes, trying not to let the emotion leak out of her face till she got out of the courtroom. As soon as everyone one was adjourned the ADA made a dash for the bathroom. The room was spinning but she tried to splash some water on her face and take some deep breaths. She heard the door creak open, but she couldn’t even look up from the sink to see it was Liv. The brunette rushed and grabbed her from the side, she turned into her.

“Hey, hey baby I got you. It’s okay, you did great. Patty gets to go home with her parents. You did it babe. Shhh, shhh” Liv cooed softly trying to calm Casey down who was actively hyperventilating. “Hey Case, Case listen, match my breathing. Deep breaths.”

The redhead did her best to time her breathing to match Olivia’s until she was calm again. She squeezed herself tight against Liv. “Thank you for being here.”

“I’ll be here for you whenever you need me.” The detective held Casey’s head tight against her chest.

“Well then you’ll just have to always be here.” The ADA chuckled.

They walked to the squad room, Casey putting her briefcase down and handing a file to Elliot. “Michelle plead out to custodial interference. Her sentence was set aside, and she said she was going to move out of state because it was too hard to be around Patty.”

Elliot gave Casey a half smile and a knowing nod, “She did the right thing, loving her enough to let her go. I knew you’d figure it out.”

            Casey nudged Elliot.

            Cragen shook his head, “The damage is already done. That little girl's relationship with her parents will never be the same now that everyone knows the truth.”

            Casey sighed in agreement, “Law has to catch up with technology. When Patty’s 18 she has the right to make her own choice on whether or not she wants to contact Michelle, like in an open adoption.”

            Liv came around to meet everyone, “I finished the audit on Dr Norton’s clinic, turns out Michelle had sixteen embryos, ten of which were implanted in other women.”

            “How many live births?” Elliot asked quietly.

            “Besides Patty, Michelle has two daughters and a son out there.”

            Casey hung her head, they may have put a band aid over this, but it was far from solved. She stretched her neck to the side, Liv was quiet.

            Casey walked up and leaned against her side, looping her arm through her girlfriends, while the squad knew they still had to be careful about holding hands at the precinct. “Hey, what do you say we get a big bottle of wine and go back to my place. It’s been a day.”

Liv looked up “That sounds perfect.”

They started for the exit, “I still owe you that massage.” Casey smirked.

“You can give it to me while your body’s wrapped around me in that big bathtub you’re always bragging about.” Liv lightly hip checked her girlfriend.

Cragen looked at Elliot, “Do…do they think we can’t hear them?” he raised his brows.

“Captain, I think,” he paused, “when those two look at each other, they forget we exist.” Stabler folded his arms as he and Cragen watched them walk out the door.

[nightingale2004]

If the cullens were in the TVD universe, headcanons

Obviously, the Cullens are still considered "vegetarians." And one of the few vampire clans that feed off of animal blood.

Carlisle is Lexi Branson's real father, and you can't tell me otherwise.

Lexi would introduce Stefan to the Cullens, and Carlisle and Esme would be the psrents that Stefan needed.

Edward and Stefan were distant around each other at first, but then they got along and got real close later.

They are still mostly located in Washington Forks, but they still travel.

Damon would obviously meet them and at first hate them for stealing his brother, and I also think he feels like he's being replaced.

Lexi loves Esme and Carlisle and her adopted siblings.

Stefan, Lexi, Emmett, and Alice definitely go to Bon Jovi concerts together.

Stefan and Rosalie bonded over fixing vehicles together.

Stefan and Jasper get along decently, but I think Damon and Jasper would be closer, considering they were both soldiers.

Carlisle and Esme did not like Damon's behavior along with the trouble and misery he caused Stefan, but they know Damon's Stefan's brother and that Stefan loves him despite everything.

Damon (lowkey) gets close with the Cullen family and (maybe 😏) a connection blooms between him and Rosalie (ENEMIES TO LOVERS!!)

After Caroline was turned, she joined the Cullen clan, and they loved their new member of their family.

Stefan and Edward definitely went through the rebellious ripper phase together (big sister Lexi fixed them)

The cullens would know of the Mikaelson (what vampire doesn't know of them?) and would fear the Mikaelsons as much as anyone, but when it comes to Stefan, Damon, Caroline or anyone of their family, they would die for them.

Family reunions every few years.

Hate Katharine with a passion, especially Alice, Rosalie, and Lexi (protective sisters... Let's gooooo!!!!)

When they got introduced to Elena, they obviously have concerns (mostly Lexi and Rosalie). But they learn to accept Stefan and Damon's choice of women (Rosalie doesn't like Elena, same with Bella)

The cullens are gonna get involved with the drama at mystic falls (obviously), same thing with Stefan and Damon getting involved with the Cullen drama.

The Volturi are terrified of the Mikaelsons but at the same time worship them (Elijah obviously created them)

Bonnie is cautious of them, but she gets along well with some of the cullens.

Caroline and Alice obviously are fashion sisters

Stefan, I feel like would kind of get along with Jacob since they both are into auto mechanics.

That's all for today. Enjoy!

[foxlady3]

Downton Abbey thoughts

Recently finished the entire series and both movies, and here are some things I'd love to see in the third film:

Would love to see Tom Branson become socialist again, I got weary of the constant praise for his successful transition into higher society, becoming a good little capitalist and properly loyal citizen of the British Empire who would never ever dream of rocking the boat anymore because that might upset the Crawleys blah blah blah. Would like to see him involved in a strike for workers rights.

Would love for Thomas and Guy to return to York and open a clockmaker's shop as a front for the secret gay bar they'll be running out the back. Thomas could resurrect his old scheming-chaotic-manipulation tactics to protect the place and the customers. You know, bribing the cops, blackmailing prosecutors ("I see there's some friends of mine up for trial that you're accusing of public indecency. Maybe you'd be kind enough to drop the charges? No? Well, gosh, it sure would be a shame if your wife found out about the lady friend you visit every Thursday...oh. so you *will* drop the charges? Much obliged, good sir, much obliged.") that sort of thing, it'd be great.

I don't have much hope for seeing any of this in the film, of course (though I was pleasantly surprised that Fellowes put in the gay bar scene in the first movie, I suspect he probably won't do much else with gay subculture) so if anyone wants to use these for fanfics, be my guest :)

[notyour-valentine]

Welcome to Downton, Mr Shelby 14 ~ Tommy Shelby x Crawley!OC (Series)

[Masterlist] [Taglist] [Series Masterlist]

Summary: No Tommy but Charlotte and Lizzie - Chazzie...Lilotte?

If interested, you can check out this post for more about Charlotte

All my writing is produced by an adult and created with an adult audience in mind (18/21+). You are responsible for your own media consumption.I do not consent to my work being translated, copied or posted elsewhere on this platform or any other.

Wordcount: 5140 words

Part 14

Charlotte felt like her head could explode any minute now. It was like a kettle ready to hiss and whistle just with nowhere for the air to escape, so it would shake and tremble more and more until the material would simply give in. 

And her seams were ripping, as of course, this was the topic of conversation at dinner. How could it not be?

“Only a few years ago, this would have been unthinkable.”, her father said, his voice strained with suppressed outrage. Her father was not one to shout, and would not do in this instance. He maybe just wouldn't be too hard on someone that this matter brought to shouting, so deeply ran his resentment and shock. 

“A field marshall assassinated at the Derby, in the presence of their Majesties!”

His voice almost cracked on the final word. 

Yes, she thought. The King had been there too, and the Queen. She had almost forgotten. Then again, most of the day seemed like a blur to her now, a wash of white and brown and grey, in contrast to the inescapable. 

“I’ve heard it was the Irish.”, Mary said over some wonderful creation of carrot mousse and seabass that tasted like nothing but cardboard to her and her alone, as she forced herself to choke down bite by bite. It was little enough, but the last thing she wanted was their attention on her. 

If they look, they'll know. “How could it not be the Irish?", Edith argued. "After all he did to those poor people in Cork!”. 

She said it as if it was something everyone would know, which naturally ticked Mary off. 

For once, she didn't mind their squabble. Fight, she thought, fight so no one remembers I'm here. 

She was too old to crawl in her mother's bed and disappear in her arms, to hide between her parents and let their warmth and love melt away her night terrors. 

She was too old for that, and her terrors were worse and more shocking than any nightmare of hers had ever been. And since she could no longer melt into their embrace, she just wanted to disappear, to simply vanish until the world made sense again. “Whatever are you talking about?”, Mary snapped, almost rolling her eyes at Edith, who smirked in triumph. 

“Don’t you ever read the newspapers?”, she asked. "Even you might learn something."

"Girls-", their mother warned under her breath. “It seems Branson has rubbed off on you.", Mary said, fighting Edith's smugness with performative disinterest. 

Yet it was Charlotte who was cut by her words as the mention of his name only hammered down Sybil’s absence. 

She could not run to her mother, could not confide in Mary, not in anyone - even Sybil was a stretch, but there was still a chance. 

If anyone, then Sybil. But she wasn't here. She was across the sea, safe and untouched by all of this. 

“It has nothing to do with him.”, Edith argued, not wanting to let this go “I don’t condone the attack, obviously, but we shouldn’t pretend like he was a saint either, now just because he is dead." “Edith,”, their father said sternly, “Russell has served this country during many wars, including the Boer War, might I remind you, with distinction."

Sir Richard scoffed. 

“I hear he has a reputation for vulgarity.”

Robert shot him down with a glare. “He was a soldier in service to his king and this country and deserves every ounce of respect. And for him to be butchered by Irish terrorists is not only a tragedy but also a scandal for our nation."

The knife slipped from her grasp and clattered onto her plate, before sliding off and disappearing under the table. 

“Apologies.”, she mumbled quickly, rushing to bend down to hide her face. 

It was a small mercy and all she got,  a split second to breathe and compose herself, to pretend the storm inside her wasn't raging. 

“I think it’s far time to change the topic of conversation!”, her mother said at once. 

Robert cleared his throat and looked over at her. “You’re right. This is no topic for the ladies.”, he said, his blue eyes softening with care and affection. 

She quickly looked away. “It’s fine.”, she said, trying her best to sound convincing, at which she failed miserably. 

“I know it’s ghoulish, but I am so relieved you left early.”, her mother said softly, shaking her head. 

“Yes,”, Robert agreed, “How is Miss Stark?”

Cora had informed him that an acquaintance of Charlotte's had gotten ill from a heatstroke and that she had taken her home. He had been displeased at her absence, but the chivalrous compassion had eased his disapproval. Then of course, Russell's body had been discovered and the world turned on its head. 

Charlotte swallowed hard and glanced at her mother. 

Her eyes were wide alert, as if she was ready to jump in if she should fail, but still gave her the room to try. 

“She is quite exhausted, so I presume she is asleep."

Not that she was in any state for dinner, despite it obviously being offered. Instead, Mrs Hughes had taken her a tray. 

"She said she wanted to catch a train tomorrow after breakfast. I’d like to take a car to accompany her to the station.”

“Of course.”, Cora quickly said. 

In the light of the ban on today’s incidents, the remaining conversation was rather limited, and the fact that she was permitted to remain in silence instead of being roped into the discussion was both blessing and curse. 

But the quiet only made it worse, for that way all of Miss Stark’s words echoed louder and louder in her head. 

Cora soon began to talk about the hospital garden fair, which only reminded her of the fact that her own hospital work, which had been lined up and planned meticulously. She hadn't wanted to put a foot wrong. 

When dinner was over and they moved to the drawing room, Charlotte counted the minutes until she could excuse herself. 

More than ever before, did she miss Sybil. If she could tell a soul, she could have told her…she could have and Sybil would have supported her, helped her, let her be angry or soothed her tears. 

She didn't know whether she wanted to scream or cry, but right now she was allowed nothing. Just - terror. Thankfully most of them chalked her behaviour down to today’s events, and she was soon sent off to bed to get some rest. As if any sleep would come to her ever again. 

That’s not even a lie, Charlotte thought bitterly,  her hand trembling on the banister as she crept up, feeling more like a ghost than a person. 

How much a world could change from noon to night. 

Despite the hurricane of her thoughts, her feet proved reliable allies, carrying her to her bedroom. 

It felt foreign to her now, from the pale mint green colour of the curtains, to the pillows chosen to match. The way the mattress dented when she sat down, the feeling of the sheets, the way the street lamps flickered in the distance - all of it was foreign. But was it the world that was foreign now, or her? 

She could hear the sounds of her breath, her chest rising and falling with shallow, faint huffs as her hands trembled. 

If only she was brave enough to scream. 

But she wasn't, and so silence was her only option, silence and confused agony, like a hunted animal that didn't know where the arrows came from. Only she had already been struck, and was bleeding out by the minute. 

She forced her eyes shut to banish her tears and the thoughts that caused them. 

It wasn't even her place to be angry at herself or pity herself, or both. What did she matter in all of this? In all Miss Stark had told her?

Compared to her, what right did she have to the chest-tightening feeling of bottomless betrayal? 

So there was guilt to add to all those feelings too. 

When she heard the knock on the door, she flinched up as if someone had struck her. 

"Anna.", she said breathlessly. "I didn't ring yet."

Anna shook her head. 

"Milady, a Mr. Shelby came to the backdoor to speak to you. I thought you might prefer it not being announced by Mr. Carson so I told him to wait there."

Charlotte felt her stomach drop, and her heart with it until there was only an icy, bottomless pit inside her. 

I can’t see him. I can’t speak to him. I don’t want to. I can’t. 

Like a frozen flower, she would shatter in his mere presence. 

But she couldn’t say that to Anna. She would have to explain herself, and she couldn’t. 

She had thought keeping him there was a kindness, given all she had told her of her activities with his charity, or what he had made her believe to be that. 

If she didn't comply now, Anna would have her questions why. 

Worse, she might ask Mary, and her sister would stop at nothing - 

Charlotte cleared her throat and looked down, smoothing down the fabric of her dress. 

She had no choice. 

Unless she wanted to say the unspeakable and explain the inexplicable, she had to go down. 

"Stay with me?", she asked, her voice trembling just slightly, betraying her to someone who knew her for nearly all her life. 

"Of course, Milady.", she said, offering her a small smile, but it didn't reach Anna's eyes. For that, she could read her too well. 

So she quickly moved ahead, unable to stand the piercing gaze. 

But every step felt like she was dragging the weight of the world with her.

Still, despite everything, she was a Crawley. She had to be brave. There was no other option. 

The servant's staircase spared her the knowing and judging gaze of her ancestors on the walls, but instead she saw a few curious glances of the servants as Anna led her out. 

Of course Anna had thought of bringing along one of her scarves. 

She wore it like a coat of armour, because it was the only protection she could have. 

Taking a deep breath, like poor Jane Grey stepping out onto the Tower Green, she opened the door to the back entrance. 

She smelled the smoke before she saw the glimmer of the cigarette, and then the man flicking it away. 

His tie needle reflected in the light of the lantern, then the blonde of his hair. “John.”

His name slipped from her lips like a cry of shock.

She had feared, but expected Tommy, and now on consideration perhaps even Arthur, but not John. Never John. He was the last one she had thought to come and seek her out. 

But here he was, looking up at her with wide blue eyes. 

“You live here?”, he asked surprised, his eyes wide with awe as he looked up the facade, the stucco, the countless windows. 

“When in London, yes.”, Charlotte said, as she approached him slowly. 

Arthur’s Arthur. He can’t help it, really. But John- John has a good heart. 

He held his hat in his hands and shifted uncomfortably from one step to the other. 

The hat, she remembered. 

“Ahm, where is Lizzie?”, he asked, the way she imagined a schoolboy would inquire after his friend.  

“Upstairs.”, Charlotte said. The mention of her sent a surge of defiance through her, like a second coat of iron out of the necessity of protecting the woman, but that also protected her in turn. 

"She’s sleeping.”

“D-doesn’t she want to go home?”, he asked, glancing up as if he could look through the walls and windows into the guest bedroom. 

“Not tonight.”

John nodded, taking a deep breath, his mouth contorting. “How is she?”, he wanted to know, barely glancing up at her. He couldn't meet her gaze fully, but he couldn't look away either. For that, he cared too much. 

And Miss Stark cared about him too. She had told her as much, about John, and his children and the wedding. About how he still tried his best to care for her after. About how he was good, one of the good ones, Charlotte. One of the boys they sent. A boy, not a man. Not like Arthur and Tommy. Once she had feared the sharpness of his eyes, the cruelty in his words, the way he made her feel small and stupid and useless, but now Miss Stark’s assessment, as little as it was, was all she had to hold onto. 

She cared about him, and he cared about her. So Charlotte chose to answer. “I don’t know. Hurt. Tired. Angry."

She sighed once more, leaning against the doorframe. 

"She didn’t want to see a doctor.”

Perhaps he could make her see sense. 

“Course not.”, he mumbled to himself. 

Then his blue eyes met his. “Thanks, Charlotte. I know you and Lizzie…”

As he spoke, he turned his cap in his hands and when the light hit it right, she saw the light glimmer in the reflection. 

Oh, she thought. Oh no. 

She had forgotten all about that part, the fact getting lost in the tirade of terror, but it came rushing back, turning her stomach and making bile rise in her throat. 

“That doesn’t matter now.”, she said quickly. “Anyone would have done the same.”

“They wouldn’t.”, he argued. “And I’m sorry for…you know.”

Charlotte nodded once more. “It’s fine.”

For a moment silence hung between them. “Tommy’s outside. He’s also worried about Lizzie.”

“I see.”, Charlotte said, the pain that was already pounding in her chest, getting even worse, so bad she felt her entire insides were ignited with agony. “I doubt Miss Stark will want to see him anytime soon.”

“And what about you?” I never want to see him again. I never want to talk to him again. I never ever want to think about him again! Granny was right. This was a terrible, terrible mistake. 

If she could wipe him from her memory, she would in a heartbeat. 

“I can’t go out now.”, she said, blinking away her tears. “It’s late and very cold.”

John saw right through her excuse. 

“Has she…”, he began slowly, “has she said…”

“She told me enough, John.”, Charlotte said firmly, building herself up to her full height, “Miss Stark told me quite enough."

~

There was no sleep for her that night, and she guessed probably not for many nights to come. Her thoughts were too loud, the pictures Miss Stark painted too vivid and horrid and horrific to allow her much rest. 

When Anna came with the morning tea, Charlotte was already up, with a scarf around her shoulders instead of her robe. She had left that with Miss Stark. 

What a foolish, useless little thing in light of what had happened, what had happened to her. 

"Has Miss Stark been woken yet?", She asked, avoiding Anna’s look. She felt the blonde woman would read her at any glance, would need only one look and see the truth of it all. 

She probably knew about the real cause of Miss Stark’s distress already. That was why Mrs Hughes and her mother asked Anna for help. She was kind and discreet, and a soul they all could trust. 

"About now, I think.", Anna said. “I’ve sent Lily up with a tray.”

"I think I will go and see her before getting ready for breakfast."

It was an improper thing to do, and so Anna helped her into a day-dress as quickly as she could, even skipping the stockings. She would only be going down the hall after all. 

“There, Milady. Good enough I’d say.”, she said with her cheerful tone, as she smoothed down her hair just barely. 

With that, she stilled her hands, her eyes finding hers in the reflection of the mirror. 

“The last day has been quite distressing for you hasn’t it?”

It wasn’t a question as much as a medical diagnosis. 

She had known her since she was a little girl and knew things about her that Mary and Edith missed. She had been taking care of her too long for her to miss things like these, even if she managed to conceal them from her sisters. 

“Well, denial would be futile, so…”

She broke off and shook her head. 

“I’ll just be glad to be home.”

That wasn’t even half a lie. She wanted to go home, to be back in Downton, to breathe Yorkshire air and be surrounded by her home as far as the eye could see. 

“If there’s anything else you need, just let me know.”, she said, the words heavier than the normal empty courtesy. 

"Thank you, Anna.”

But there are things I couldn't even tell you if I wanted to. 

Leaving Anna to tidy, she left her room and walked the short distance to where Miss Stark had been put up in. She found her resting against the pillows, staring at the tea tray over her lap as if it was a wild animal ready to bite her nose off. 

Charlotte made a point of not looking at the swelling of her lip. 

Lily was with her, standing by the window. 

"Good morning, Milady!", She greeted, dropping into a small curtsy. 

"I was just asking Miss Stark what to do about clothes for today since she doesn't have any luggage."

No, Charlotte thought, there was no luggage, and the clothes she had worn, well, they had been reduced to tatters on the bathroom floor. Anna had helped her cover that up. 

"She can have a pick of anything I brought.", she offered. “Try to pick out a few options of anything long.”

Miss Stark was a good deal taller than she was. 

With that, Lily left with a gentle "Yes, Milady."

The door closed behind her, leaving Charlotte and the other woman alone. 

The silence made her thoughts and the abstract fear they caused ring louder, echoing in her ears. 

"Is this…normal?", Miss Stark asked, waving at the tray of tea, biscuits and orange slices. 

"Well,", she said softly, sitting down on the chaise lounge. "Mine didn’t have orange slices."

Miss Stark huffed, and Charlotte couldn’t tell if it was a sign of success or failure at her attempt of lightening the situation. 

When her fingers touched the porcellian, they trembled. 

"How's the tea?", she asked, playing with the edge of her scarf. 

"It's good.", Miss Stark mumbled, staring into it as if she hoped to see the future in the china. 

"Did you sleep?"

She shook her head, which was understandable. 

"Did you?"

Her response was the same. 

What can I say?, She wondered, her chest tightening. What even is there to say?

The knock on the door surprised them both, especially when Charlotte saw who it revealed. 

"Good morning, Mama!", She said, getting up from the bed and kissing her cheek. 

Her mother looked to have had the same thoughts she had, to see Miss Stark as soon as she woke up. She wore a pale blue tea gown, the old kind with the wide cuts, flowing fabric and big pockets that was from before the war. It was far from the latest fashion but she had a preference for robes like these. 

"Apologies, Miss Stark.", She said, "I heard you'd planned to take the early train and I couldn't let you go in good conscience without at least checking up on you."

Miss Stark was staring up at her with wide eyes, like a deer in headlights. 

"Ahm- good morning.", She mumbled, before trying to remove the tea tray in order to get up in a rush. 

“Oh no need for that!”, her mother said swiftly. “We’re the one invading your bedroom this morning, aren’t we?”, she said, taking Charlotte’s arm. 

"I'm sorry for being a bother, Milady.”, Miss Stark told the teacup. 

A sense of sadness washed over her mother’s face. 

"Oh please, you could never be a bother, Miss Stark. You have all of us quite a scare. Are you sure you wouldn't prefer to see a doctor? We can arrange it, easily. Quietly. We’d take care of it all, and there would be no risk to your reputation.”

"No Doctor, please.", Miss Stark said sharply. 

Her mother, Lady Grantham, sighed. 

"Alright, but I'll send up Anna to see to your cuts again, yes? The same ointment Mrs Hughes gave you yesterday.”

To that, she agreed. 

"Good.”, her mother said, breathing a sigh of relief. "Now what do we do about clothes?"

"Oh, Miss Stark- will borrow some of my things."

Her mother looked at her as if she had suggested something ludicrous. “Nonsense, darling. Miss Stark won't fit into your clothes. I'll have the maids take some of Mary's things."

"Mary will hate that!", Charlotte said. And she would demand to know why - 

She already had far too much going on to dare getting Mary upset at her now. 

"I'll handle Mary.", Her mother assured her, "Don't you worry one bit, Miss Stark. After breakfast, we'll have the car ready to take you to the station, whenever you need, whether that is this morning, today or tomorrow."

"Thank you, Milady.", Miss Stark said. "For everything."

"No need.", She assured her, before cupping Charlotte's cheek. 

"I'm very proud of you, darling.”

In that moment, for a split second, the world was alright again, but as soon as her mother left, she felt herself falling into that icy pit again. 

They wouldn’t be proud if they knew what she knew now. They’d be so enraged and appalled, shocked and horrified - just as she was now. And she felt so very stupid. 

"Your mother's lovely.", Miss Stark said softly, once the door was closed again. 

"Yes.", Charlotte admitted breathlessly. Lovely and completely in the dark of the foolishness of her youngest daughter. 

Miss Stark shook her head, biting her lip as she did. 

"Fuck.", She groaned, as she dropped her head into her hands. "Fucking hell, Charlotte!"

The swearing made her jump. But could she blame Miss Stark for her choice of words?

"What's wrong?", She wanted to know, rushing towards her. "What did I do? What did Mama do?"

"Nothing!", she snapped. "That's the whole fucking point."

She ran a hand through her hair.

"You're…you're not like us - fuck - I never should have said a thing.”

“No,”

Now it was her voice to add sharpness. 

“It was far time I knew.”

All this pain, confusion and betrayal she felt was infinitely better than the puppet on a string she had been before, oblivious and foolish, pouring her heart, soul and energy into his castle of clouds that he conjured up only to lure her in. 

It all seemed so obvious now, of course. So blatantly, tragically obvious. And the worst part was, others had seen it while she had deluded herself, and would have continued to do so if Miss Stark hadn’t told her. 

~

Home did not bring the relief she had hoped for. Maybe, it even made it worse, as she had never missed Sybil more than now. 

Sybil would listen, without laughing, without being shocked or horrified. She would listen without judging. No 'I told you so's, no 'you should have known's, no 'How could you be so foolish?'s. 

But Sybil wasn't here. She was gone, off to Ireland with Branson - she could scratch his eyes out for that now more than ever! 

Charlotte tried to write to her but every time she tried to put it into words she failed miserably. It never sounded right, it never captured her thoughts properly. And even putting these things in writing felt like a crime of their own. 

And she burned each and every piece of paper until her room smelled of nothing but smoke. 

She couldn't telephone her either. Sybil didn't have a telephone now and she couldn't dare being overheard. So she was all alone, alone with her thoughts. 

She went riding before breakfast so as to avoid the conversation, and took long walks in the afternoon. 

But no matter how fast or far she galloped, she couldn't outrace her thoughts. Her betters had tried and failed at that, her grandmother informed her with a sharp quip. 

Sleeping was difficult as well, because sometimes she would dream. 

The nightmares were bad, but the other dreams were worse, those in which it was just them together, those of work and pride, when her research bled into the realm of her dreams. In those dreams, they got along, which made her want to drown herself in her shame at her own mind’s betrayal. 

Her family all thought she was upset about the field marshall, with her mother perhaps taking Miss Stark, Lizzie now as she insisted she call her, into account.  And in a way they were right. 

Tommy killed him. 

Tommy shot him in the head with his own gun and killed him. 

Tommy made Lizzie lure the man away, who hurt her and then Tommy shot him in the head with his own gun and killed him. 

Because that's what Tommy does. He kills people. He hurts people. He blinds people. He uses his own brothers like soldiers.

Lizzie had told her. 

That and so much more. 

The man she admired, the man she had been so desperate to impress, the man who had made her feel more useful and valued than any other person in her whole life. And for what? 

She hadn’t understood who the inspector was, or what that had to do with guns and the IRA and a barmaid. But she had known Mr Churchill - how relieved she had felt when hearing his name, a small sliver of familiarity in the chaos of Lizzie’s words, only for that to be turned on it’s head. 

Advantage was what she had said. Insurance. 

During the meals, she tried to keep to herself as much as possible and avoid conversation. 

There was always something more important than her to discuss and she happily let them. 

Right now, the topic of the week was the garden party for the hospital. 

Now, with the war over, it has come up again. 

"I doubt anyone would be comfortable after what happened last time.", her mother said. 

What a different time that had been. What a different world. 

"We don't need reminding."

"It gives the village an opportunity to show unity in support for the hospital, especially after the war.", Granny insisted. 

"On that we agree.", Isobel said. "Speaking of hospitals- Charlotte, how are your preparations going?"

Charlotte glanced up, confused at what she was asking. 

"Preparations for what?", her mother asked. 

Isobel responded and in her answer, reminded her. 

"Charlotte is set to meet with a few doctors for the children's hospital in Birmingham next week."

The wine in her glass trembled just slightly 

That seemed a lifetime ago now. Or maybe a life that wasn't her own. One of make-believe and stupidity. 

"I've been helping her prepare."

Isobel smiled at her and she tried to smile back, but the muscles in her face fought the motion. 

"If I can give you one bit of advice, talk to the nurses. They know more about the day-to -day runnings of the hospital than the doctors."

"Naturally you would say that.", Granny quipped. 

"When are you going?", her mother wanted to know. 

Charlotte cleared her throat and glanced down at her hands. They were still trembling. 

"The meeting is next Tuesday.", She said softly. 

"Are you sure you should be going?”, Cora asked, a line of concern between her brows. 

"I think she most certainly should.", Isobel argued. "It is her project and she is very well prepared."

"I disagree.", her father said said, "Charlotte should take some time to rest, especially after the shock."

Don't I know it, she thought bitterly. 

"But some distraction might do her good.", Isobel argued. 

"I agree with Robert.", Matthew said uncommonly forcefully, "besides, there are a great many causes and distractions closer to Downton. I've heard there is an organisation in Ripon that specialises in helping children with reading difficulties."

"Goodness- how intriguing!", Mary scoffed, her eyes finding the back of her head. 

"The last thing Charlotte should do is take on another cause!", Granny argued. "She’s a lady, and they’re working her like a ploughhorse."

"Although I must protest your comparison, I agree that she already has a cause and a very worthy one at that.", Isobel said. 

It was Edith who spoke up next. 

"I'm sorry, but Charlotte, do you even want to go?”

That made them all fall silent and Charlotte wished they would have continued to fight, but now all eyes were on her. 

The worst part was, now everyone knew that it was happening on Tuesday. And they would all wait for it. 

"I, ahm, I don't know yet.", She said softly. "It depends, I guess."

That was an answer that made everyone at the table unhappy, giving neither side more ammunition, or another enemy to strike at. 

Come next morning, she received a call just after breakfast. 

"How are you?", She asked, like she had asked in every call. 

"I'll manage.", The other woman replied. "What about you?"

"I'm trying to figure out how to manage.", She said truthfully, which made her chest tighten in shame. It should be the other way around. She had only heard of the bad things, Lizzie had been forced to live them. 

"Look- about what I told you…"

"I'm glad you did, Lizzie, truly.", She said quickly. 

There was silence for a while. 

"So you went to work again.", Charlotte stated. 

I wouldn’t have. I would have reported him to the police, and everyone else too. 

"Yes."

"How was it?", She asked. 

"He's walking on eggshells."

As he should. 

Well, he should be in prison awaiting a trail at the King’s Court, not walking on eggshells, but that was the least he could do. 

What he had done to her was cruel and so terribly heartless and Charlotte found it entirely unforgivable, but it wasn’t hers to forgive. It was Lizzie’s and so she kept her mouth shut in regards to the outrage she felt. 

"Are you coming back?", Lizzie wanted to know after the screaming silence.

Charlotte sighed and rubbed her temple. 

"I don't know, Lizzie.", She said truthfully. "I don't know anything anymore."

When she went out with the horse, she rode until she felt her lungs would burst, but neither the horse, nor the grass, trees or the wind could tell her an answer. 

If Sybil was here, she could choose for me. 

But she wasn’t and so Charlotte was all alone with her horses and the storm in her mind.

~

Thank you for reading - I'd love to hear your thoughts

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