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Amy Rose!!!

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Someone mentioned the scissors issue… Try buying scissors that say for lefties and it turns out they are indeed not for lefties. Yea. It sucks.

and my personal favorite:

i love getting validation as a lefty but also learning about new fun ways it continues to suck

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jason todd who progressively lies more and more as to explain how he came back to life

Tim: How the fuck did you win Uno 19 times in a row

Dick: Yeah you used to suck at this

Jason: Yeah actually that entire excuse that Superboy Prime punched the universe was a lie. I actually just called Death a bitch and challenged it to a game of Uno that lasted six months and won

Tim:

Dick:

Jason: :)

---

Damien: Mother should have never allowed you to heal in the Lazarus Pits.

Jason: Actually I healed because when I was dead I was a ghost and like. Haunting Gotham as one does and then realised my dumbass body somehow left the grave so I had to find it and imagine how pissed I was when I found it in the Chernobyl pool

Damien:

Jason: Ghosts can't really hitch rides okay, I had to fucking walk

---

JL: He came back... Wrong

Jason: Actually B lied that I died. I left to a boarding school and found my true passion, unicycling, and decided to unicycle over Eurasia and B was so embarrassed that he just started telling people I died

---

Roy: So... How was death?

Jason: I fist fought St. Peter and fucking won he had to send me back

---

Bruce, present for all of these: How did you actually come back to life, do you know? Have any theories?

Jason: The worms refused to eat me because I was so skinny and Mother Nature herself called me a disgrace and kicked me out

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I feel cheated. no one on Reddit told me that tumblr is a serotonin factory. Keep liking and reblogging my posts please thanks

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sorry

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Bruce: *gets kidnapped*

Clark: *suddenly becomes the scariest motherfucker in gotham*

Tim: *gets kidnapped*

Kon: *suddenly becomes the second scariest motherfucker in gotham*

Damian: *gets kidnapped*

Jon: *to the kidnappers* hey guys! no, don’t worry, I’m just here to give yall a fair warning—hey dude shooting people isn’t nice—that you have maybe two minutes before Dami gets impatient and violent so you might just wanna let him go! yeah I can take him home!

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Onions and Garlic 2

OiI on canvas

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Similar origins, as most comics put them as being protected for a long time by the Echidna race. But the Sonic X series has the best way of stating it. “Chaos is power, enriched by the heart. The controller is the one who unifies the Chaos.” Basically explaining how to harness the energy properly. There is also the “7 servers” line which implies they are connected to the Master Emerald. And the fact that the Master Emerald can restore energy to the Chaos Emeralds is a hint to their ties. However, we’ve never received full background on the Chaos Emeralds nor the Master Emerald. Knuckles says his kind has guarded them for centuries, but we have no chronological point in time they were made, not even comic wise. So I see why they did what they did with the movies— also the fact that whenever anybody used the 7 Chaos Emeralds, those Emeralds would then separate across the planet to different areas. Kind of like what the Dragon Balls do in Dragon Ball Z.

Short speak; 7 Chaos Emeralds are conduits for the Master Emerald and were likely made at the same time as the Master Emerald.

wait wait wait

are the chaos emeralds and master emerald. . . not the same thing?

the chaos emeralds don't combine into the master emerald? that's just a movie thing?

sonic lore is so complex. . . so many emeralds. . .

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My Wife: babe I think my dad might be autistic

Me: your face-blind, emotionally oblivious, picky eater of a father, who has numerous niche interests and the best-organized fly-tackle-box I have ever seen, might be autistic?

My Wife: you knew?

Me: you didn’t?

My Wife: babe I’m not ok I’m having a whole-

Me: you can hear the TVs, babe.

My Wife: What

Me, pointing at the special no-flicker lighting I installed in our house so that we never actually have to have the Big Overhead Light on: babe!

My Wife: … oh my god am I autistic?

Me:

My Wife:

Me: you didn’t know!?

My Wife: YOU DID!?

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support trans people.

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To be fair that last one sounds like something Billy would say to Green Arrow… I read one where Billy was the Therapist Supe as Cap and Dinah knew he was Billy, and she told him what happened to Roy because Dinah was also the Gossip/Second Therapist. And him being a little shit to Green Arrow after all of that info is funny to me.

These lists are so fun to make

Things Billy has said when a JL member found him walking around as a child in the Watchtower (you decide which excuses worked and which didn’t)

“I’m Batman’s new Robin” (the blue eyes, black hair, and orphan status convinces everyone worryingly fast.)

“Im checking to see if this building’s up to code!” He had a fake mustache and a clipboard too.

“My class is here on a field trip and I got lost :(“

“Let me call my lawyer then we’ll talk!”

“Dude, did you really forget me? We’ve been working together for years!” (It isn’t gaslighting if it’s technically true)

Points behind them “OhMyGosh! A ghost!” Runs away when they look behind them.

“What am I doing here? What are YOU doing here!?”

“SIR/MA’AM, I AM HERE ON OFFICAL BUSINESS™️. PLEASE STEP AWAY AND LET ME DO MY JOB”

“Hi! I’m the Whiz Kid here to do an interview with Cap!”

“You can see me?”

“Excuse me, this is private property and you should NOT be here!”

Says Shazam and turns back into Cap “no one will ever believe you…”

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Beating out the Hero Worship. The weapon? Being a child therapist / relationship Councelor to your colleagues (who may or may not be going through midlife crisis)

So I love the prompts where the Wisdom of Solomon makes Captain Marvel a defacto Therapist and Relationship Councelor (family, romantic or otherwise) to his very adult coworkers. It’s especially funny when they think Billy is an adult. Billy is very much a child. A child who is giving these sad adults free therapy. Honestly if being a child hero wasn’t enough, the amount of work he has to put into his colleagues well-being should in itself be child labour.

Black Canary, who has been the Therapist, is the only one who can relate to the struggle. Sometimes they even share notes. Well, Billy is, Dinah is here for the gossip. Bring in Barbara, and they got themselves a girls night.

It’s just so funny to me. Gets me every time.

Flash: Man, I can’t believe I’ll need to reschedule my wedding anniversary AGAIN all because of some new villain not getting the memo. Sometimes being the hero on your city takes a lot of you.

Marvel: don’t you have multiple speedsters in your city?

Flash: …

Marvel: you have multiple heroes in your corner who would gladly take over a case for you

Flash: Oh yeeeeaaah

Marvel: Don’t pull a Batman. Ask for help.

Bruce, somewhere in Gotham: something just happened

*or just*

Clark: and it’s just confusing, because Conner sees my parents as his parents making us siblings, but John sees him as his brother making him my son, but Lex sees him as HIS son. Kon even said that Lex was more of a dad to him! Lex!

Marvel: oh yeah, family is difficult. Imagine having two dads, but the hero one is the one who want nothing to do with you. At least Lex tries. When was the last time you had a casual conversation.

Clark: I- *pauses*

Marvel: or talked about hobbies.

Clark: I messed up.

Marvel: yeah yuh did

Bonus:

Billy: Dinah! I didn’t think girls night was for another week!

Dinah: … actually

Billy: … no

Dinah, sitting on the couch: so I need advice

Billy: 🥲

A few moments later

Billy: I’m sorry, GA did WHAT to Roy

Dinah: Exactly, so come Mia-

Some more time later

Green Arrow: why do I hear boss music?

Marvel, slamming open the door: Oooolllieee we need to talk 🙃

Oliver: I’m in danger

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I need Joker to fear Captain Marvel so dam badly. Let me explain.

So we know how we, as a community, all accepted that Billy Batson / Captain Marvel is the most egregious Tax Evader of DC (for this who don’t know, there was a whole poll and our boy Billy won out of literally everyone, including supervillains).

And in the Batman Cartoon (and some comics), it’s stated that Joker is terrified of the IRS.

I think you see the picture.

Joker: I may be crazy enough to fight Batman, but I am NOT crazy enough to deal with the IRS

Captain Marvel: lol imagine doing your taxes

Everyone present: w h a t

*clip goes viral*

IRS Agent: So, Captain Marvel was it? According to this footage, you have no been paying your taxes

Marvel: prove it.

IRS Agent: What?

Marvel: to make me pay anything, you need to know who I am and what’s to pay. I got nothing to pay.

IRS Agent: that’s not-

Marvel: not even Batman knows who or what I am. For all you know, I could be living in a multidimensional rock situated in, quite literally, the middle of nowhere.

IRS Agent: …

IRS Agent: I- w h a t

*some time later*

IRS AGENT: YOU BORE A STRIKING RESEMBLANCE TO LATE CC BATSON. SOMEONE WHO HASNT PAID TAXES IN 70 YEARS! YOU OWE US TAXES

Marvel: no I’m not

IRS Agent: Don’t try-

Marvel, holding the lasso of truth: I am not CC Batson, I don’t owe you shit. Plus he’s totes dead so can’t be me.

IRS Agent: DAMMIT

Joker: This mofo is crazy! Crazy? I was crazy onc-

*later*

IRS Agent, in Fawcette: why is none telling me anything!!!! You, Child, what do you know of your local hero?

Itty Bitty Billy Batson: lmao aren’t you that Agent harassing Cap

IRS Agent: it’s not harassment if he owes the government taxes

Billy: good luck taxing anyone in Fawcette lmao, magic doesn’t give a shit about that. Also we have different currency’s that just switches on random basis. So unless the government takes Drachmas, you’re cooked

IRS Agent, on the verge of tears: this has never happened before

Lex Luthor: WRITE THAT DOWN WRTE THAT DOWN

Bonus:

Billy: you know, I know someone who has been commuting tax evasion, tax fraud and more charges. His name is Ebenezer Batson. That’s E B E N Z E R and he lives just outside of Fawcette. Can’t miss him.

IRS Agent, who has a fridge with ‘CC Batson’ and is more than happy to get old man prey: thanks kid

Bonus 2:

Billy: Sweet, the IRS put my uncle in jail and the police gave me back my inheritance. Now to convert this into Fawcette currency (they will not be taxing this money)

Joker, visibly weeps

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One day Tim’s out in casual clothes just roaming because Alfred said he needed to spend time in the sun (Jason said his sickly Victorian child was showing which is what actually got him outside).

Anyway he’s minding his business, bored out of his mind, when an alert about the riddler goes out. He escaped Arkham and Tim is like “I’ve got nothing better to do,” So he tracks him down. Except he tracks him down as Tim Drake, not Red Robin because he was told to get sunlight as Tim.

Kid basically knocks on the door the Riddler’s hideout like “I’m bored and I’m pretty sure I can out riddle you.” And the Riddler isn’t gonna take that challenge sitting down.

He doesn’t even have a plan set up yet. Just drags Tim in like “guess I’ll use this kid as bait he is influential.” And the entire time he’s setting up his elaborate trap he’s shooting riddles back and forth with Tim. Ten minutes in he’s given up on the trap because Tim is not only keeping up but is also dishing out stellar riddles. Riddler’s not about to risk killing one of the few people in Gotham that are actually entertaining.

By this point the Bat’s “Tim Radar” Has gone off. They haven’t heard from him and he hasn’t checked in for the Riddler Breakout. So they track him and they find him sitting in Riddler’s hideout with a mug of coffee playing the equivalent of four dimensional chess but it’s the game Clue.

It ends with the Riddler being willing to go back to Arkham so long has he has regularly scheduled enrichment time with Tim.

Tim’s content with that. Honestly he had a lot of fun.

Bruce is exhausted.