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anyways-wonderwall · 8 months ago

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Eurovision Special!

I would just like to start this by saying woah. I have been keeping up with Eurovision for the past 7 years and have written about the last four, and this is easily the biggest shitshow I have ever seen. Never before has my Twitter been solely about Eurovision, and never have I seen Americans actually kinda care.

Just to make it clear from the beginning, Israel should not have been in this competition and should never be invited back after all they did this year, although we all know that since they own Moroccan Oil they will never face any consequences. Not only that but their song this year sucked! It got the lowest rating from me this year, even putting controversial stuff aside.

Anyways, it is time for the annual tradition of me telling you what my five favorite songs were and what I thought of the entries this year. If you've read any of my other Eurovision posts (I've reviewed 2021, 2022, and 2023), you'll know that I go through and grade all of these songs on a spreadsheet through a very objective rigorous process. I grade on five categories (which are eerily similar to what the jury does): Singer, Song, Catchiness, Performance, and the bonus points category Diversity. The max score is technically a 40, but that last category can and has put some songs over the edge. Oh and this ranking is based on how much I like the song, so the order may not fully match the scores.

All the drama aside, this was one of the best years song-wise for Eurovision (this was definitely the hardest its been to rank the songs ever). I think countries are starting to understand that being quirky pays off, so now we're getting real song diversity and really amazing performances. Also, Eastern Europe really gave it their all this year and I cannot thank them enough. (Oh and all of these songs, minus Croatia, are NOT IN ENGLISH!! Truly an incredible year)

5. Netherlands - Europapa by Joost Klein

Score: 35/40

Notes: good energy song itself is meh

Final Ranking: uhhhhhh, that's a long story

Look I get it, this song truly embodies Eurovision in every way. It's in Dutch, one of the silliest languages out there, he's out there wearing crazy outfits and has a silly haircut, its a euro-techno hit, he has the emotional angle since it was dedicated to his parents; this is one of the most perfect Eurovision songs to enter. All that aside though, its not that interesting or awesome as a song. The main riff is incredibly catchy and the production choices with the piano are pretty cool, but it just feels like a rip off of the silliness of last year's "Cha Cha Cha," down to ending in a boring techno breakdown. I think this song is a clear response to that (down to the shoulder pads) but it still is pretty good and did a great job making this year even crazier than anyone thought possible.

4. Greece - ZARI by Marina Satti

Score: 33/40

Notes: I've never been more flummoxed

Final Ranking: 11th

This song on the other hand, is one of the most interesting things I have ever heard. Marina Satti as an artist and this song has been occupying my thoughts nonstop, because what the hell is happening here. It's like Rosalina-style cumbia got lost in the East Mediterranean and the music video leaves me even more confused. The crazy jumps from Arab traditional flute sounds to strings to a cumbia baseline to a men's choir, to a melodramatic echoey bridge? I took a whole class on writing about music and I can't find the words to describe this one. And all of her media around it uses 2005 word art fonts and clip art? And she is serious about everything the entire time. Everything she does is hilarious and off the wall, yet she continues the persona of a pop diva. I seriously cannot get enough of her.

just want to point out that this is one of her real album covers. The word icon doesn't cover it.

3. Armenia - Jako by LADAVINA

Score: 41/40

Notes: Trumpet player hot or not

Final Ranking: 8th

Speaking of icons, look at these two! I really think this year was countries really embracing their native genres, whether that be Eurodance, Mediterranean Cumbia, Eastern European Emo, or Armenian folk music. This song just truly embodies fun. The lively beat, the screaming and yipping, a crowd cheering, the wailing trumpet, the random instruments whispering in the background. Listening to this makes you feel like you are a part of the coolest party ever, with flute and ukulele solos, and freedom to yell as loud as you want. I cannot get enough of this song and the energy these two bring to it, and I am so glad Armenia picked an absolute banger to represent them this year.

2. Estonia - (nendest) narkootikumidest ei tea me (küll) midagi by 5MIINUST x Puuluup

Score: 44/40

Notes: EASTERN EUROPE IS BACK BABEY

Final Ranking: 20th

This song is just awesome, in every way. You have this weird Estonian string thing, voices so low that it sounds like throat singing, all mixed with that kind of techno that feels so intrinsically Eastern European. The music video has them driving around a Soviet-style building complex just messing around in abandoned warehouses and parking lots. This is what I'm talking about when I say that countries are going back to their roots and not just trying to send what they think is the most marketable. I see this as a sequel to Moldova's entry last year, which involved a Eurovision veteran with some new faces, mixing old and new to make a masterpiece that has so much personality.

Croatia - Rim Tim Tagi Dim by Baby Lasagna

Score: 43/40

Notes: Meow cat, please meow back

Final ranking: 2nd!

Look at this guy, he looks like someone who you would love to bring home to your parents and would like cats. He wasn't supposed to compete for Croatia this year and was put in last minute and I'm so glad because my life would have been so much darker without this banger in it. It's a classic emo anthem about leaving your farm-filled hometown to go to the big scary city, but he doesn't take himself too seriously with a name like "Baby Lasagna" and a chorus of nonsense words. The music videos as sped up farmers dancing and a cat that looks exactly like mine (both one-eyed and orange), and is a perfect mix of vulnerable and silly. This really seems like someone who was genuinely making something fun and expressing himself, and just happened to almost win Eurovision in the process.

Here's to hoping Eurovision actually happens next year after everything that went down, and if you're curious my least favorite songs were the offensively boring entries from Israel and Albania.

#eurovision #eurovision 2024 #europapa #music review #music recommendation

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martyrofacrimescene · 1 year ago

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*cocks gun* tell me bout those ocs

OKAY OKAY

I have sososo many ocs from over the years but my current favorites are my Saints for Girls characters, and they're also the ones I mention the most (followed by ColorBlind's characters but that's absolutely seeped in spoilers I can't really talk about them I can't even talk about my favorite from ColorBlind because her name is a spoiler.)

This is a link to a post about Sloane

The second most important character in the story is Max Cameron, Sloane's boyfriend. He's more rational and logical than Sloane, who often acts on impulse before really thinking (though she is smart in her own way). He's mixed but if you ask he'll tell you he's Taino because he doesn't give a fuck enough to explain. He picked up bracelet making (especially paracord ones) as a kid at summer camp and he makes them all the time. He doesn't like wearing a lot of bracelets, though, so he gives most of them to people. He always has a pocket knife and a lighter on him even when his outfit doesn't have pockets. He'll stash them in his binder if he has to. He doesn't know if God exists and he doesn't care to, he has his gods and he doesn't really care about the other ones. His favorite color is mustard yellow and he dyes his hair blue partially because it "has a nice contrast" to his yellow clothes. His favorite album is Punch by Autoheart.

There's also Blondie Withington (first to die, RIP Blondie). She's not blonde, as her name suggests, but a brunette. She bleached her hair a few times during her life, but she wasn't born a blonde so I guess she couldn't die one either, which is to say she died with unbleached hair. She was Sloane's best friend in second grade, but they just grew apart. They were the type of childhood best friends that remains in some part of you even after not talking for years, the type where you hold on to all the gifts, all the notes, all the friendship bracelets, because you just can't get rid of them. She was probably bisexual but she never properly figured that out. She would've been a tumblrina under the right circumstances. She's Christian in a "love thy neighbor" in her instagram bio kind of way. She was a swiftie who was really normal about the way Vigilante Shit is performed on the eras tour. always came to school with a dunkin drink.

And then there's Amelia and Amanda Erin, who are identical trans girl twins (the only other twins in Sloane + Steve's class). They're extremely close to each other, by nature of being twins and transitioning together, and their senses of identity are entangled. They changed their names to stay matching. Amelia is aromantic (heterosexual) and Amanda is asexual (homoromantic). They're both big tea enjoyers. They're always stealing clothes from each other and bickering and holding grudges over a game of monopoly, but they'd kill and die for each other. What happens with them is one of the most personal things to me in the story, and probably the most emotionally compelling. They're agnostic, but Amelia is vaguely spiritual.

Also, fun fact, all their last names (with the exception of Blondie's) were possible contenders for Sloane's first name (and even her last name was second choice for her first). There's also another guy in there somewhere but he's not worth the effort of typing his name.

Okay this has been my SFG oc post god okay goodbye

#long post #Sloane #ocs #ant's asks #Saints for girls

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happy-little-eggs · 2 years ago

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Pix Party CONS

The Tamagotchi Meet and On have been discontinued, and the Tamgotchi Smart is only in Japanese. The only options left are getting a classic re-release or the full color, backlit Tamagotchi Pix Party! It’s been nearly a decade since I got a new Tamagotchi so it was in order!

Well, I went ahead and got one, used but in perfect condition from Amazon. Most reviews of the Pix Party have already covered the basics, and my Amazon review of the Pix Party is actually favorable, but I want to rant about the cons.

The Pix Party is over $60-- maybe consider these cons before you buy a fresh new one.

1. Store items never change. There is no reason to be able to accrue more than 20,000 gotchi points but for some reason you can keep earning money and have absolutely nothing to buy.

2. No marriage! Your tamas can’t meet other tamas and befriend them, get married and have babies. After about 7 or 8 days, your adult tama will get a random career (it seems independent of the training games you play beforehand) and return to the Tamagotchi planet. They choose a new egg for you and send it back.

3. Your tama will leave without warning and you have to make a photo album. You must have 3 photos in it minimum or it won’t let you move forward.

4. The camera is terrible, utter trash. It has trouble picking up all colors except for red and defaults to grey for most other colors.

5. I had to get most of the items and accessories from forums online. The QR codes make it easy to obtain items but it would make more sense if items could be collected from the Store.

6. Speaking of the store--- all of the Outside locations have these unnecessarily long sequences of your tama, over and over again, walking there, stopping in front of the building, and having to endure a dialogue with an npc just to get to the menus. The NPC dialogues are not worth the time wasting because the store never updates.

7. The arcade is lackluster. Each day, 2 of 6 games from 3 categories (Leisure, Nature, Sport) will be available to play for the whole day. The max amount of gotchi points you can earn is 230. Some of the games require a swiping motion which is unreliable with the Pix touch buttons. The games hardly fit the aesthetics of the Tamagotchi Pix Party and look really basic; dull colors, bland backgrounds for the most part (in comparison to other full color Tamagotchis, not originals)

8. Backgrounds are great but the Store doesn’t offer matching furniture for any of the collectable room themes except for a select few, and those items had to be obtained from winning challenges on the Tamagotchi website, or snagging them from forums.

9. Back in the day, during the Tamagotchi Connection era, the official website was colorful, exciting and interactive. These days it’s in unimpressive blog format. Every now and again there will be a seasonal or occasional challenge (matching game or tedious, unwinnable slide puzzle) to obtain a new item (usually a food item). Te new site feels almost fake, like Bandai gave up on making the world and community of Tamagotchi immersive.

10. The explore feature allows you to meet random new tamas but you can’t play any games with them or do much besides the rare dialogue. New tamas will appear in the character database and then you can invite them to Parties and take pictures with them.

11. Once you create your user profile at the startup of the device, you never see those stats again. Neither your favorite color, food, item nor selfie. It’s 100% pointless but supposedly affects the types of tamas you can get. The only user stats you can see are your name and birthday and a useless text bubble that you can customize at any time.

12. You can’t name any of your tamas. This removes so much of the connection and immersion that the less advanced Tamagotchi Connection had. If you get identical tamas in a row, it feels really hollow and mechanical. Naming was 25% of the fun of having a Tamagotchi. What’s the point of having your username (permanent unless you reset the device) when it serves no purpose outside of connecting with other Pix devices, which will be rare because Tamagotchi users are rare, especially among adults?

13. The price of the device is worth it for the novelty factor but that dries up quickly after a while. By generation 5 you’ll have seen it all. The same ugly items in the Store. The same boring games. The price should be bumped down to $39, especially considering how much battery life the device absolutely devours if you dare to leave the sound on or use the almost essential camera.

#tamagotchi pix party #tamagotchi #adult tamagotchi fan #pix party #tamagotchi pix party review #tamagotchi balloons

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robin-buck1ey · 3 years ago

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Many people have come to the agreement that Robin will be the one to save Nancy because she was looking through Nancy’s music tapes. This is not just a random detail as there was added emphasis to it by having Nancy point out that Robin was looking through all her stuff

But what song will actually be the one to save Nancy? Well I think I have a pretty good guess

Inspired by this post I decide to take a look at Jennifer rush songs from the years 1983-1986 which is the time stranger things takes place. There was one song that caught my attention and I’ll explain why.

First off we can clearly see that the tape on top is the same as this album, which the song underlined in red is what I believe will save Nancy.

An important thing to keep in mind is that, Robin doesn’t need to know specifically Nancy’s favorite song because as Hatch said, it’s about having a personal meaning, not necessarily favoritism.

So how could this song, Hero of a Fool, have a personal connection for Nancy?

Here are the lyrics but following it I will explain what I believe they mean for Nancy.

Now it’s time to get down to the actual detailed analysis and meaning these lyrics have for Nancy.

First, “Feelings seemed to stay on my mind” and “Visions of days gone by” match very well to what we saw with Max when the music first started playing, how her memories flashed by, “visions of days gone by” or some “feelings seemed to stay on [her] mind” meaning these lyrics match very well to what we might see with Nancy as we saw with Max.

Next, “I wait there lying low” which could be seen as Nancy being paralyzed by Vecna, and “Silence has taken a toll” which might be referring to how everyone was confused and shocked when Nancy had froze. Which also shows that the song matches well with how we seen the scenes play out within the show.

Now we getting into more of the personal connection rather then connection to the scenes. “Eventhough these feelings are strong I know now you're never torn” which I believe could show how Nancy admires Robin for being confident in who she is and her identity.

And “I see it now, I finally see what came undone. It took some time for me to realise” I think these lines could be represented by Nancy being able to see Robin and seeing how much she cares about Nancy, while also realizing her own feelings for Robin.

Then, “That in the end all I should have done was run” and “I'm seeing you the hero of a fool” These line connect to both Nancy’s feelings and the actual scenes themselves. For max we saw that she could see Lucas, Steve, Dustin and her own body when trying to run and escape Vecna. I think that Nancy can see Robin, her hero, save Nancy, the fool (for not realizing her feelings earlier)

After this we have, “And when the thought tries to hold me back from making the turn, the closer that you get” seems to call back to when Nancy tried to push Robin away by appearing annoyed, because everyone that gets close to her she thinks she hurts. But Robin doesn’t give up, she doesn’t stop talking, and she doesn’t stop trying to get closer to Nancy.

Finally we have this section, “I'll see what I've come to learn, that over and over again I'm caught up in make believe.” and “I see it now, I finally see what came undone. It took some time for me to realise” also “That in the end all I should have done was run” I really think that this part is showing that Nancy realizes that no matter how much she tries to convince herself, her and Jonathan are done. She might even feel that she should have broken up with him as soon as he pulled away (because now she can’t even call him) which is represented by the “that in the end all I should have done was run”

The rest of the lyrics are just previous ones repeated

Now seeing how it applies to Nancy, to Vecna’s curse, and ronance, I decided that I needed to make sure that this song was actually fitting to use for a dramatic and important scene.

Running up that hill by Kate bushman played in Max’s escaping for around 3 minutes, and Hero of a Fool is around 3 minutes aswell.

Besides the length working, I wanted to make sure that this song had a hype moment, or that you could imagine this all happening with the song, and I felt you could. If you want to take a listen yourself here’s the link

So after seeing and hearing all of this, what do you guys think? Have I channeled my inner Nancy and solved another mystery?

Thank you so much for taking the time to read this! I know it’s a lot but some people told me they would like to hear so I was happy to share :) also this took me way longer than it should have because I’ve been working on it as a draft and i kept forgetting to save parts :,)

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harpsthings · 2 years ago

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[I was thinking about Stevie Nicks again (love her so much I named myself after her) and because of this I am forcing my music taste onto Steve Harrington. And I am also forcing my musical Steve headcanons onto all of you!]

Steve has loved Fleetwood Mac since the days his mother still stayed home while his dad left on business trips. She would glide through the kitchen humming “Rhiannon” as she cooked scialatielli all'amalfitana or alici di cetara, the fragrances wafting through the house. He would be by her side, grabbing ingredients for her and singing along, their faces creased in matching grins.

One of the last real gifts Steve received from his mom was a Rumors record when the album first came out. They played it over and over until they knew every word, dancing together in the living room and belting out the lyrics. It was one of the only memories that kept him together when the house felt more like a tomb than a home.

Even after his mother had begun chasing his father around the country, Steve still hummed “Say You Love Me” while he was cooking or played Rumors when it was too dark to sleep. The habit only intensified after he found out about things that go bump in the night.

No one really knew about it and he didn’t bother to correct people when they assumed his favorite band was ABBA or Journey. It wasn’t a secret so much as knowledge only Steve held. He only realized after they had defeated Vecna how dangerous that could have been.

Still, the not-secret persisted. Only, he picked up another habit while he was watching Eddie and Max in the hospital. When everyone else was gone and it was just Steve and whichever unconscious friend he had decided to stay with, he would sing to them.

For Max, it was usually “Rhiannon” or “Songbird”, but Eddie just got whatever just got whatever song came to mind (though “Say You Love Me” came up more times than was strictly necessary).

No one had told Steve that Eddie had been waking up in fits and starts on the day he sat down and started to sing “Crystal”.

“I turned around and the water was closing all around like a glove Like the love that had finally, finally found me Then I knew in the crystalline knowledge of-”

“Didn’t know you could sing.”

Steve jolted in his seat and turned to see hazy brown eyes staring straight at him, a crooked grin on Eddie’s face.

“Eddie! You’re awake!” Steve shoved off of his seat. “I should- I should go get a nurse.”

A feeble hand dismissed his words. “Don’t need to. I’ve been in and out all day. They know.”

That made Steve raise an eyebrow. “And no one bothered to tell me?”

Eddie did his best attempt at a shrug. Steve sighed and collapsed back into the uncomfortable hospital seat. He rubbed a hand over his faced tiredly, looking over at the man who had so quickly become part of the select few he gave a damn about.

Eddie looked like shit, skin pallid and dark splotches under his eyes. His hair was such a greasy mess on the pillow behind him that Steve was fighting the urge to do a deep clean.

But his eyes were warm and a soft smile was playing at his lips.

“Fleetwood Mac?” Eddie asked, hands twisting into his blanket like he couldn’t stand to stay still, even this injured.

Steve sighed again, tapping his fingers idly on Eddie’s bed. “They’re my mom’s favorite band, she used to sing their songs all the time when she was still at home. Guess the trait got passed on.”

Eddie hummed, nodding his head slightly, before he tapped his index finger on the back of Steve’s hand. “Did the pretty voice get passed on, too?”

“I-” Steve blushed, averting his eyes but not moving his hand away. “It’s mediocre at, like, best.”

Eddie poked his hand harder.

“Don’t sell yourself short,” Eddie rasped. “I’m a musician, and a good one, too, if I do say so myself-”

“You did save the world with your guitar playing,” Steve admitted.

“I did!” Eddie crowed, delighted, before taking Steve’s hand in his completely and continuing. “So trust me when I say I know my stuff. You’ve got a beautiful voice, Stevie.”

“Stevie?”

Eddie chuffed. “Yeah, get it? Steve Harrington. Stevie Nicks. It fits!”

Steve made the unfortunate decision to look back at Eddie. The other man’s eyes were so soft and earnest and his smile may have been tired but it was vibrant all the same.

Steve blushed harder, covering his eyes with his free hand.

“What, has no one ever told you?” Eddie sounded almost offended.

“I haven’t really made it a habit to sing in front of other people, so no,” Steve grumbled, sliding his hand down his face. Once again, a mistake.

Eddie looked delighted. “So I got an exclusive Harrington show? Just me?”

“Yeah, yeah,” Steve rolled his eyes. “And it’s one night only.”

“Then I absolutely must make the most of it!” Eddie said before he seemed to do his best rendition of Dustin’s puppy dog face. “Will you sing again? For me?”

Damn whoever told Munson that Steve was a sucker for puppy dog faces. Damn them to hell.

“Fine, fine!” Steve grumbled, throwing up his free arm in contrition. “What song do you want, doofus?”

Eddie’s nose crinkled when he grinned. Steve didn’t know why he took note of that, but he did.

“I love a good ‘Landslide’, but you wanna know a secret, Stevie?” Eddie did his best attempt at leaning in.

Worried for Eddie’s injuries, Steve did all the leaning in for him. He was going to ignore how their close proximity made his heart leap. He could deal with whatever that was later.

Eddie stage-whispered, “My favorite Fleetwood Mac song is ‘You Make Loving Fun’.”

Oh.

Steve’s heart leapt again.

Trying to keep himself together, he flicked Eddie’s crinkly nose and sat back, scoffing. “Of course it is. You’re like a toasted marshmallow. All burnt and shit on the outside, but on the inside you’re just soft gelatin-y goo.”

Eddie pressed a hand against his heart. “Moi? The incarnation of the Devil himself? Are you calling the evil kid-eating Satanist an ooey gooey marshmallow?”

“No, I’m calling Eddie Munson an ooey gooey marshmallow, you absolute marshmallow. Now shut up or no songs for you.”

Eddie immediately shut up. He even mimed locking his lips up and tossing away the key, which admittedly made Steve snort.

It took a couple of starts and stops, but eventually Steve was able to start singing. He had never sung in front of another person besides his mother before, especially not on purpose. It felt weirdly intimate, Eddie’s gaze like the autumn sun on his skin.

“Sweet wonderful you You make me so happy with the things you do Oh, can it be so This feeling follows me wherever I go

I never did believe in miracles But I’ve a feeling it’s time to try I never did believe in the ways of magic But I’m beginning to wonder why”

Eventually Eddie’s grip on his hand slackened and Steve watched as he was slowly lulled to sleep, a tiny smile still on his face. For a good few minutes after Steve had finished the song, he sat in wonder. Singing to him had felt like pouring his heart out. It had felt like it meant something.

Watching Eddie’s sleep-soft face, Steve started to sing once more.

And as it turned out, it wasn’t a one night show. Eddie would ask him for another song the next time he was awake, and the next and the next, pulling out the puppy dog eyes, and Steve would always give in. Even after Eddie was discharged, whenever they were alone he would ask Steve to sing. Like he enjoyed it. Like he wanted to hear it.

It felt like maybe, just maybe, Eddie was starting to get him to believe in miracles again.

The next year, when all their scars were beginning to really heal, Eddie presented Steve with Fleetwood Mac’s Tango in the Night record.

Who could blame Steve for carefully setting the record aside and jumping into Eddie’s arms to kiss him? Who could blame Eddie for kissing right back? Who could blame them for finally believing in miracles?

#the phantom of stevie nicks overcame me and i wrote this #no shes not dead she just astral projected into my soul #steddie #eddie munson #steve harrington #stranger things

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thatharringrovehoe · 3 years ago

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So I've been playing Dishonored which is my favorite game and this popped into my head so now you all have to suffer with me. (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*.✧

He's so fucking cold. Like he’s been plunged into a lake mid winter and can’t find his way to the surface. Hands shaking, Billy sifts clumsily through the box of his mother’s things he keeps hidden in the back of his closet. He's found that if he thinks about the good times, picnics at the beach under the California sun, the thing oozing it's way though his brain losses just a bit of it's grip. Leaves Billy with enough motor function to stumble around his bedroom, trying to find the right pieces. And fucking hell it’s been so long since he's done this. He can remember helping his Ma when he was little, chubby fingers clenched tight in her cotton sundress as she arranged the items on the table just right. Pricked her finger to draw sigils in a language long forgotten, her voice a soft cadence through the bedroom as she hummed Billy’s favorite lullaby. No words, just a beautiful mournful thing. Humming a song of grieving loss. Billy doesn't know why he likes it so much.

“Remember baby. When you offer your gifts they have to be special. Well loved. Something that brings you joy every time you use it.”

His mother kept a pair of earrings on the cloth covered table. She never wore them when his father was home. Took them out and put them back on the little rickety stand in the back of her closet every day before he came back from work. Dangling silver daggers with the onyx beads. Billy shoved one straight through his left earlobe when he turned fifteen and has barely taken it out since.

His Ma told him that everything he built his shrine with had to mean something. Had to be something he treasured. From the fabric to the stand itself. So Billy tried his best. Draped his best leather jacket over the milk crate that held all of his favorite hair products. Placed his Ma's Fleetwood Mac album next to one of his mother's silver earrings (the one he always wears), arranged as neatly as he can manage. He’d had to prick his thumb seven times because to his dawning horror it kept healing over. Just another tally mark towards something being really fucking wrong. And he remembers the warehouse. Can still feel the slimy caustic sludge being pumped down his throat by a fucking tentacle. But he’d hoped it had been a dream, a nightmare from reading to many Lovecraft novels. Billy curses as he slices open his thumb for what feels like the millionth time.

Apparently not.

He's drawn the characters just how he remembers. His mother had made him practice every day, showing him each and every shape and line, drawn in colorful crayon. She gave him a cookie every time he got them right. Never hung them up on the fridge though. Didn't want his father to see.

He can feel the shadow creeping through his blood, dragging it’s claws against his veins. It might not know exactly what he’s doing yet, but it must be able to feel the intention. Billy thinks of ocean waves and a soft hand running through his curls. Fights the pull at the back of his mind to just give in. To sleep. His hands shake harder.

Fuck, where is it?! Billy combs through records and trinkets, a bottle of her perfume. He’s desperately hoping it didn't get lost in the move because his mother never taught him how to make one. Hell, he's pretty certain that he wouldn't be able to find the pieces he needs in Hawkins anyway. Not like Melvalds has a supernatural voodoo isle.

Then finally, finally he finds it. Lifting up his mother’s satin scarf it comes tumbling out to land on the floor with a clatter. Bleached white and beaten smooth by the waves, it's about the size of a sand dollar. Billy picks it up, places it in the palm of his hand. He still remembers the day he found it out on the shore. Washed up between some sea glass, the leather bindings still somehow soft even soaked with salt water. Etched with symbols and shapes Billy will never understand. When Billy showed it to his mother an unreadable expression crossed her face. It was that evening she showed him her shrine.

The rune seems to hum against his skin, an otherworldly song from far away ghosting past his ears. The thing that’s trying to Shanghai Billy’s brain writhes. It's angry, but more than that it’s fucking terrified and Billy has never been more sure of anything in his life. This was a good idea. But his limbs are getting colder, heavier. Whatever this evil piece of shit is it doesn’t like what Billy’s doing. He has to fight against the deadening of his limbs, crawling towards his shitty attempt at a shrine from his place on the floor. His vision is starting to grow dark when he finally clutches on to the milk crate, placing the rune between the earring and his cassette tape. And he knows that there's no guarantee. That whatever his Ma prayed to every night never shielded her from Neil’s fists, didn’t do a damn thing as the cancer slowly drained her down to nothing. That sometimes (most times) when someone would call out to the void the only thing they heard in return was their own disappointment. But he's got no other options. This is his trump card. His last resort. If this hocus pocus bullshit doesn’t work then Billy is up shit creek without a paddle. With a frustrated shout against the nightmare pulling him in, Billy begs.

“Please! Fuck, help me! I'll do anything, c’mon just- please!”

The air in Billy’s bedroom all of a sudden seems to shudder. The shadows flicker and meld together, reaching outwards. The sound of dry fall leaves blowing in the wind, a wail of a thousand dying worlds ricochets off the walls. Then nothing. Billy scrunches his eyes shut against the sting of tears. Fuck, of course it didn’t work. Story of his life. He called for help and just like always it doesn't mean shit. No one is coming to save him.

“Well well well. Certainly been a long time since someone summoned me like that. Very old school.”

Billy’s eyes snap open, the surprise and adrenaline enough to fight the heaving weight of his limbs to raise his head. And there, perched on his shitty milk crate shrine, sits the most beautiful boy he's ever seen. He's got hair the color of soil after it rains. High cheekbones and full lips, milky white skin dotted with a constellation of beauty marks. Billy didn't know what he expected but it certainly wasn't this. The boy god is dressed in a swanky leather coat the color of charcoal with pants to match. Eyes like an oil spill, inky black and endless. With a good look at Billy, they narrow dangerously.

“I thought I fucking told you not to touch this world. You want a repeat of last time?”

Whatever deity he summoned looks pissed as hell. Did he not do it right? Maybe the items weren’t good enough. That would be just his luck. He's so confused he almost doesn’t notice it right away. The shadow slowly working it’s way through his body has stopped, retreated a little even.

“I-... I don't know what you’re talking about. Please, there's something wrong with me. Something got put inside of me and I need it out. Please, help me.”

Billy hasn’t begged since his Ma was takin her last breath in that damn hospice bed. Didn't see the point when it always got you nowhere. But now he can't make himself stop. Cuz he's never been this scared before. The things this monster inside him wants him to do. It's so strong, like he’s fighting a steam roller. He's got no hope on his own.

The boy sitting on his best leather jacket stills. Cocks his head to the side slightly, considering. Then those pretty pink lips are spreading out into a gleeful smirk. Slides off the shrine to settle on his knees in front of Billy. Reaches out his hand to cup Billy’s jaw gentle enough it makes him want to cry.

“You can't get a good enough hold of this one can you? Interesting. Tell me trouble maker, what's your name?”

That voice, deep and ethereal, seems to echo from all around him. He can feel it vibrate in his bones. He wants, no, needs to answer.

“Billy. Billy Hargrove.”

The boy smiles now, all gleaming pearly whites. If Billy looks long enough reality starts to flicker. And for just a second all he can see is teeth sharp like knives in a Cheshire grin. There for a moment and gone in a flash. The hand on his jaw tightens just the slightest fraction.

“Well Billy Hargrove. You seem to find yourself in quite the predicament. That parasite sucking on your soul is an old acquaintance of mine. He's one nasty little shit.”

If a brain washing shadow monster could feel indignant he’s pretty sure that’s what's happening now. Whatever was hijacking Billy's mind has curled up somewhere tight, sunk it’s teeth in deep. Cornered like a threatened animal.

“Please, I’ll do anything you want. I can’t… I can’t fight it. It's too much.”

There’s enough tears leakin down his face that it's soaking the front of his shirt. The boy is giving him this look, almost amused. The longer he holds Billy’s jaw the more the monster losses his grip, and Billy is ready to do anything at this point. Because that thing stuck to his brain wants him to find people. Feed it people. Wants Billy to drink all the chemicals in the supply shed at the pool. Told Billy that if he tried to fight it would take Max first and he can't let that happen.

The boy seems to come to a decision, grabs Billy’s hands to help him shakily to this feet. He doesn’t let go even when they’re both standing.

“You know there’s not many who can fight his hold for this long. I'm impressed.”

He steps forward until his chest is practically pressed up against Billy's. He smells like ozone and smoke, bottomless black eyes trained on stormy blue. Reaches up to tangle his fingers into Billy’s curls, sending tingles across his scalp. Smiles wider at the small noise that escapes Billy's throat.

“I'll help you Billy Hargrove. But in return, you have to do something for me.”

Billy's nodding before he can even really register what’s being said. Anything. He'd do whatever this pretty boy asked as long as he keeps touching Billy like this. Gentle, with a reverence no one has ever bothered to show.

“I need you to kick this little shit back into the hole he crawled out of. Can you do that for me Billy? I wanna see how your story pans out trouble maker. Wanna see what you do when someone gives you a chance.”

Billy nods again, breathless. The boy chuckles, the sound saccharine. Like warm honey dripping down his spine.

“Gunna have to use your words baby.”

Billy swallows, the click of his dry throat loud in the warm personal bubble they’ve created.

“Yes. Yeah. I’ll do it. Whatever you want pretty boy, please.”

It comes out a whisper but the boy hears it all the same. The boy smiles bright, pulls Billy forward. Soft warm lips press against his own and Billy is floating. He's never been kissed like this before. Slow and deep, the boy's tongue pressing in to curl and slide. Stuff him full. Billy's shaking for a whole other reason now. Reaches out to grip the boy's coat, cool to the touch where Billy is burning. Fire rushing through his veins, and he's already so close just from this. Whimpers brokenly into the kiss.

The boy pulls him in impossibly closer, slots his thigh between Billy’s legs, pushes up up up. And Billy is right fucking there, grinds down as he swaps spit with an old god in his shitty bedroom with the peeling yellow paint and the door that locks from the outside. Can feel the tell tale tingle spreading behind his navel.

“ ‘m gunna cum! Fuck, more please!” Billy mumbles curses into the kiss, breath hitching as his balls draw tight. The boy smiles against his mouth, yanks his curls back to bite into the meat of his neck and Billy’s gone, pulsing rope after rope of cum into his underwear.

“Oh my- .. Fuuuuuck. Yes! Uhhhnn!” He's panting like a dog as he slumps forward into the boys shoulder. Gentle fingers card through his hair as aftershocks zap up and down his body. A kiss is pressed behind his ear, a soft warmth flooding his core. He can't feel the shadow anywhere.

“So good for me sweet thing. Makes me want to keep you.”

It's said so quiet, like the boy doesn’t intend for it to be heard. Billy presses his face into his neck. There's no heartbeat under the boy's skin.

“You could. I want you to.” Whoever this is, whatever he is, he came for Billy. Answered his literal cry for help when no one else did. He doesn't know what he has to offer but he wants to give this impossible boy everything.

The boy in question hums. Brings Billy's left hand up to kiss the back of it. His skin feels hot under his lips, bordering on uncomfortable. Like stepping on sun scorched pavement. When the boy pulls back there’s a tattoo on his hand. A strange design that looks vaguely like a compass. It's the same mark as the one on the middle of the rune sitting behind them.

“I haven't given my mark to someone quite so special in a while. Try not to disappoint me Billy Hargrove.”

The boy goes to pull away but Billy still has his hand clenched tight on his coat. Panic wells up in his chest. Doesn't want to end whatever this is quite yet.

“Wait! What’s-…what's your name?” Which is a valid question he thinks. And probably one he should have asked at some point before he started grinding his dick on the guys leg. Oh well.

“I've had many names, none if which would hold any significance for you. Call me what you want trouble maker. I'll be there when you need me.”

Billy believes him. Then between one blink and the next the boy is gone, tendrils of dissipating smoke the only evidence he was ever there. A deep voice whispers from nowhere and everywhere.

“Ask your sister about the monsters in the woods.”

On the shrine the only thing that remains is the rune, both his gifts having apparently been accepted. Billy gives a hysterical bark of laughter at the thought of some higher being listening to Fleetwood Mac somewhere out in the void. It gives him an idea. He drags his lips across the fresh mark on his hand, mumbles into his skin.

“Thanks Stevie.”

#i don't know what this is but here ya go!#Outsider!Steve #Billy Hargrove #harringrove #dishonored au #yes Billy gets powers but i haven't decided what they are yet #that hoe writes #stranger things #Neil you better watch out my boy has a literal old god for a boyfriend now

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adamwatchesmovies · 2 years ago

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A Christmas Story (1983)

A Christmas Story so perfectly captures what it’s like to be a kid around Christmas time it's become a classic. Even if you’ve never had to bundle up to go outside in the cold and your father didn’t curse like a sailor growing up, you instantly “get” what this movie is talking about. Hilarious and memorable, it sometimes feels more like a trip through your family's photo album than a movie.

Narrated by Jean Shepherd and told in flashback, the film is set in a nebulous era in the past (looks like the 30s or 40s). For Christmas, nine-year-old Ralphie Parker (Peter Billingsley) wants nothing more than a Red Ryder Carbine Action 200-shot Range Model air rifle with a compass in the stock and a sundial. Unfortunately, his mother, his teacher and every other adult around dismisses his wish as a bad idea. They all say the same thing: “You’ll shoot your eye out.”

The plot at the center of A Christmas Story revolves around Christmas and that Red Ryder BB gun but the movie frequently branches off. The neighborhood dogs, the school bully, the “major award” Ralphie’s father (Darren McGavin) wins, the malfunctioning furnace… each one of these has an equivalent in your memory. Everyone remembers the first time they were truly disappointed by a toy. For me, it was in 1993. I had seen commercials for the Mighty Max toys - small horror-themed playsets featuring a cool teenager battling hideous monsters. In the commercial, the children would close the toy and thrust their hands toward the screen. Instantly, bolts of energy transformed their hands to match the ghoulish designs of Kingdom of Gargantua, Skull Dungeon or Wolfship 7. On my birthday, I received Doom Dragon. I couldn’t be more excited as I grasped the toy in my hand, punched the air and… nothing. Had a camera been on my face at the time, it would’ve held the same look as Ralph’s when his reality comes crashing down.

A Christmas Story gets all the details right and the period-piece setting makes it feel authentic. “The details are fuzzy” it seems to say “but it went something like this”. The results are warm and nostalgic but also darkly comedic. We’re looking back at times when disaster was narrowly avoided or when things got so bad they'd be traumatic if they weren't so funny. You recognize yourself in Ralphie, which is why the film is consistently hilarious. Over and over, you’ll feel compelled to pause the movie, turn towards the people watching it with you, and tell them how your version of these events went but that would ruin the flow of things so your recollections will have to wait.

Even the names are spot-on. They don’t match the ones from your childhood exactly, but they’re not that far off. Funny how things work out that way sometimes. Director Bob Clark (also responsible for one of my other favorite Christmas-themed movies, 1974’s Black Christmas and the lump of coal that is Superbabies: Baby Geniuses 2), along with co-writers Jean Shepherd and Leigh Brown have crafted a picture that’s destined to endure.

A Christmas Story is filled with memorable, quotable moments that will bring the whole family together. It’s a must for the holidays. (On Blu-ray, December 22, 2019)

#A Christmas Story #movies #films #movie reviews #film reviews #Bob Clark #Jean Shepherd #Leigh Brown #Melinda Dillon #Darren McGavin #Peter Billingsley #christmas movies #christmas films

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bananaofswifts · 4 years ago

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Taylor Swift’s ‘Folklore’: Album Review

It’s hard to remember any contemporary pop superstar that has indulged in a more serious, or successful, act of sonic palette cleansing than Swift has with her eighth album, a highly subdued but rich affair written and recorded in quarantine conditions.

While most of us spent the last four months putting on some variation of “the quarantine 15,” Taylor Swift has been secretly working on the “Folklore” 16. Sprung Thursday night with less than a day’s notice, her eighth album is a fully rounded collection of songs that sounds like it was years in the interactive making, not the product of a quarter-year’s worth of file-sharing from splendid isolation. Mind you, the words “pandemic hero” should probably be reserved for actual frontline workers and not topline artistes. But there’s a bit of Rosie the Riveter spirit in how Swift has become the first major pop artist to deliver a first-rank album that went from germination to being completely locked down in the midst of a national lockdown.

The themes and tone of “Folklore,” though, are a little less “We can do it!” and a little more “Can we do it?” Because this new collection is Swift’s most overtly contemplative — as opposed to covertly reflective — album since the fan favorite “Red.” Actually, that’s an understatement. “Red” seems like a Chainsmokers album compared to the wholly banger-free “Folklore,” which lives up to the first half of its title by divesting itself of any lingering traces of Max Martin-ized dance-pop and presenting Swift, afresh, as your favorite new indie-electro-folk/chamber-pop balladeer. For fans that relished these undertones of Swift’s in the past, it will come as a side of her they know and love all too well. For anyone who still has last year’s “You Need to Calm Down” primarily in mind, it will come as a jolting act of manual downshifting into actually calming down. At least this one won’t require an album-length Ryan Adams remake to convince anyone that there’s songwriting there. The best comparison might be to take “Clean,” the unrepresentative denouement of “1989,” and… imagine a whole album of that. Really, it’s hard to remember any pop star in our lifetimes that has indulged in a more serious act of sonic palette cleansing.

The tone of this release won’t come as a midnight shock to anyone who took spoilers from the announcement earlier in the day that a majority of the tracks were co-written with and produced by the National’s Aaron Dessner, or that the man replacing Panic! at the Disco’s Brendon Urie as this album’s lone duet partner is Bon Iver. No matter how much credit you may have given Swift in the past for thinking and working outside of her box, a startled laugh may have been in order for just how unexpected these names felt on the bingo card of musical dignitaries you expected to find the woman who just put out “Me!” working with next. But her creative intuition hasn’t led her into an oil-and-water collaboration yet. Dessner turns out to be an ideal partner, with as much virtuosic, multi-instrumental know-how (particularly useful in a pandemic) as the most favored writer-producer on last year’s “Lover” album, Jack Antonoff.

He, too, is present and accounted for on “Folklore,” to a slightly lesser extent, and together Antonoff and Dessner make for a surprisingly well-matched support-staff tag team. Swift’s collabs with the National’s MVP clearly set the tone for the project, with a lot of fingerpicking, real strings, mellow drum programming and Mellotrons. You can sense Antonoff, in the songs he did with Swift, working to meet the mood and style of what Dessner had done or would be doing with her, and bringing out his own lesser-known acoustic and lightly orchestrated side. As good of a mesh as the album is, though, it’s usually not too hard to figure out who worked on which song — Dessner’s contributions often feel like nearly neo-classical piano or guitar riffs that Swift toplined over, while Antonoff works a little more toward buttressing slightly more familiar sounding pop melodies of Swift’s, dressed up or down to meet the more somber-sounding occasion.

For some fans, it might take a couple of spins around the block with this very different model to become re-accustomed to how there’s still the same power under the hood here. And that’s really all Swift, whose genius for conversational melodies and knack for giving every chorus a telling new twist every time around remain unmistakable trademarks. Thematically, it’s a bit more of a hodgepodge than more clearly autobiographical albums like “Lover” and “Reputation” before it have been. Swift has always described her albums as being like diaries of a certain period of time, and a few songs here obviously fit that bill, as continuations of the newfound contentment she explored in the last album and a half. But there’s also a higher degree of fictionalization than perhaps she’s gone for in the past, including what she’s described as a trilogy of songs revolving around a high school love triangle. The fact that she refers to herself, by name, as “James” in the song “Betty” is a good indicator that not everything here is ripped from today’s headlines or diary entries.

But, hell, some of it sure is. Anyone looking for lyrical Easter eggs to confirm that Swift still draws from her own life will be particularly pleased by the song “Invisible String,” a sort of “bless the broken roads that led me to you” type song that finds fulfillment in a current partner who once wore a teal shirt while working as a young man in a yogurt shop, even as Swift was dreaming of the perfect romance hanging out in Nashville’s Centennial Park. (A quick Google search reveals that, yes, Joe Alwyn was once an essential worker in London’s fro-yo industry.) There’s also a sly bit of self-referencing as Swift follows this golden thread that fatefully linked them: “Bad was the blood of the song in the cab on your first trip to L.A.,” she sings. The “dive bar” that was first established as the scene of a meet-cute two albums ago makes a reappearance in this song, too.

As for actual bad blood? It barely features into “Folklore,” in any substantial, true-life-details way, counter to her reputation for writing lyrics that are better than revenge. But when it does, woe unto he who has crossed the T’s and dotted the I’s on a contract that Swift feels was a double-cross. At least, we can strongly suspect what or who the actual subject is of “Mad Woman,” this album’s one real moment of vituperation. “What did you think I’d say to that?” Swift sings in the opening lines. “Does a scorpion sting when fighting back? / They strike to kill / And you know I will.” Soon, she’s adding gas to the fire: “Now I breathe flames each time I talk / My cannons all firing at your yacht / They say ‘move on’ / But you know I won’t / … women like hunting witches, too.” A coup de gras is delivered: “It’s obvious that wanting me dead has really brought you two together.” It’s a message song, and the message is: Swift still really wants her masters back, in 2020. And is really still going to want them back in 2021, 2022 and 2023, too. Whether or not the neighbors of the exec or execs she is imagining really mouth the words “f— you” when these nemeses pull up in their respective driveways may be a matter of projection, but if Swift has a good time imagining it, many of her fans will too.

(A second such reference may be found in the bonus track, “The Lakes,” which will only be found on deluxe CD and vinyl editions not set to arrive for several weeks. There, she sings, “What should be over burrowed under my skin / In heart-stopping waves of hurt / I’ve come too far to watch some namedropping sleaze / Tell me what are my words worth.” The rest of “The Lakes” is a fantasy of a halcyon semi-retirement in the mountains — in which “I want to watch wisteria grow right over my bare feet / Because I haven’t moved in years” — “and not without my muse.” She even imagines red roses growing out of a tundra, “with no one around to tweet it”; fantasies of a social media-free utopia are really pandemic-rampant.)

The other most overtly “confessional” song here is also the most third-person one, up to a telling point. In “The Last Great American Dynasty,” Swift explores the rich history of her seaside manse in Rhode Island, once famous for being home to the heir to the Standard Oil fortune and, after he died, his eccentric widow. Swift has a grand old time identifying with the women who decades before her made fellow coast-dwellers go “there goes the neighborhood”: “There goes the maddest woman this town has ever seen / She had a marvelous time ruining everything,” she sings of the long-gone widow, Rebekah. “Fifty years is a long time / Holiday House sat quietly on that beach / Free of women with madness, their men and bad habits / Then it was bought by me… the loudest woman this town has ever seen.” (A fine madness among proud women is another recurring theme.)

But, these examples aside, the album is ultimately less obviously self-referential than most of Swift’s. The single “Cardigan,” which has a bit of a Lana Del Rey feel (even though it’s produced by Dessner, not Del Rey’s partner Antonoff) is part of Swift’s fictional high school trilogy, along with “August” and “Betty.” That sweater shows up again in the latter song, in which Swift takes on the role of a 17-year boy publicly apologizing for doing a girl wrong — and which kicks into a triumphant key change at the end that’s right out of “Love Story,” in case anyone imagines Swift has completely moved on from the spirit of early triumphs.

“Exile,” the duet with Bon Iver, recalls another early Swift song, “The Last Time,” which had her trading verses with Gary Lightbody of Snow Patrol. Then, as now, she gives the guy the first word, and verse, if not the last; it has her agreeing with her partner on some aspects of their dissolution (“I couldn’t turn things around”/”You never turned things around”) and not completely on others (“Cause you never gave a warning sign,” he sings; “I gave so many signs,” she protests).

Picking two standouts — one from the contented pile, one from the tormented — leads to two choices: “Illicit Affairs” is the best cheating song since, well, “Reputation’s” hard-to-top “Getaway Car.” There’s less catharsis in this one, but just as much pungent wisdom, as Swift describes the more mundane details of maintaining an affair (“Tell your friends you’re out for a run / You’ll be flushed when you return”) with the soul-destroying ones of how “what started in beautiful rooms ends with meetings in parking lots,” as “a drug that only worked the first few hundred times” wears off in clandestine bitterness.

But does Swift have a corker of a love song to tip the scales of the album back toward sweetness. It’s not “Invisible String,” though that’s a contender. The champion romance song here is “Peace,” the title of which is slightly deceptive, as Swift promises her beau, or life partner, that that quality of tranquility is the only thing she can’t promise him. If you like your love ballads realistic, it’s a bit of candor that renders all the compensatory vows of fidelity and courage all the more credible and deeply lovely. “All these people think love’s for show / But I would die for you in secret.”

That promise of privacy to her intended is a reminder that Swift is actually quite good at keeping things close to the vest, when she’s not spilling all — qualities that she seems to value and uphold in about ironically equal measure. Perhaps it’s in deference to the sanctity of whatever she’s holding dear right now that there are more outside narratives than before in this album — including a song referring to her grandfather storming the beaches in World War II — even as she goes outside for fresh collaborators and sounds, too. But what keeps you locked in, as always, is the notion of Swift as truth-teller, barred or unbarred, in a world of pop spin. She’s celebrating the masked era by taking hers off again.

Taylor Swift “Folklore” Republic Records

#taylor swift #folklore #review

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navyhyuck · 3 years ago

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What’s your rating of songs from Hello Future repackage and why?

this is a bit late (like four days i’m so sorry) bc im indecisive but:

life is still going on: this song is the embodiment of nostalgia and love and uncertainty and everything i love. it’s like…if a song could hug you, this one would. it’s so calming? and i love the lyrics.

hello future: very very close second!! this is a really colorful song (and not only bc it was released during pride month and they make pretty little rainbows), and it’s just…yeah it’s colorful. also this song is so hard to sing ;-; like the notes are really high especially in the chorus? i know these guys probably spent a lot of time perfecting this for performances and like..respect. this is a hard song to sing and on top of that, dance to. also, the lyrics are so welcoming (see what i did there *wink*) and nostalgic!! this song kinda hurts ngl, i couldn’t really tell you why. my only problem with this song is that HORRIBLE INTRO. there are so many ways to begin a song and ‘big dreams and big thrills’ rap sequence thing just isn’t it for me 😭

my youth: tbh the first five songs at the top are interchangeable in terms of ranking. this song is my favorite from hot sauce! this is mainly because of the lyrics and the vibe? i like injun’s voice in this (esp when he sings the line ‘please remember our youth’ hhhh do you hear me sobbing???), plus this song hurts a lot. it’s like a stab to the heart.

irreplaceable: i am one big sucker for love songs, especially ones that hyuck and injun sing. (‘i wanna tell you love to you’ okay maybe that line makes no sense grammar wise and perhaps i tried making sense of it and it didn’t work but i just like the way it sounds 😔)

rainbow: ? no explanation necessary? lyrics? the dreamies wrote it? it’s like the dear dream/puzzle piece of this album? also rainbow is a very interesting way of describing the boys? because yeah there actually are seven colors in a rainbow (debatable).

dive into you: i may be ranking this lower than the other four but this is maybe because it’s so overplayed. it’s a good song and the lyrics are cute but the title makes me cringe a little and i couldn’t tell you why. but!!! it’s a good song, i like it!

anl: this song is good but why the hell didn’t they just name it ‘all night long’. who the fuck decided that keeping it one letter away from ‘anal’ was a good idea??? no but actually???

diggity: it’s okay but the lyrics kinda make little sense? (‘come in hard boom diggity’ .. boy what) but it’s catchy? and i still listen to it? yeah. (also diggity isn’t even a word??? 😭)

be there for you: i usually love vocal-only songs and i do like this song, i just haven’t listened to it enough to rank it higher.

hot sauce: this song is literally about sex ;-; okay, but it’s still extremely catchy? the prechorus is IMMACULATE, especially the first prechorus…i would make out with it if it was a person (yk the one injun sings……..are you guys sensing a theme here or smth) but anyway! not really song related (?) but the choreo is really good and matches well, and it’s just a very typical kpop thirst song idk? but i just can’t listen to it anymore ;; i literally will bark i’m sorry

countdown

bungee

rocket

(for the last three, they’re there because i just don’t rlly listen to them that often. not that they’re bad but i don’t have much to say about any of them! ngl i think i’ve listened to bungee maybe five times max, i couldn’t even tell you why i skip it, i just do 😔)

#asks #there’s 13 songs right i’m pretty sure i got all of them

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anyways-wonderwall · 1 year ago

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Album of the Week #62

Devil

(2022)

by Max Changmin

Overall Rating: 8/10

TL;DR: With a voice like that Max Changmin can do anything. Even better if it doesn’t sound like Kpop.

(Okay i REALLY like this album cover. It's edgy, it's personalized, it's pretty. 10/10)

Overall Thoughts

I can vividly remember hearing what I thought would be the album track, “Fever,” for the first time. It was New Years Day 2022 at 3am and I am quite a few drinks in watching the SMTOWN annual performance. In a drunken haze I see the lights flash on and there he is – Max Changmin. I fell in love with the song that night and anxiously awaited the mini album that would accompany it. I was certainly not disappointed.

What I love most about this album is when it veers out of the Kpop norm. Admittedly “Fever” falls in line in the chorus, definitely the worst part of the song. The rest has this wonderful piano part and guitars coming in, perfectly matching the his voice. The song would be perfect if the song weren’t such an uninspired eye (ear?) sore, and luckily other songs on this album avoid that.

“Maniac” sounds like something off of an anime soundtrack or an 80s stadium concert. It’s cheesy enough to be kpop but hearing it took me by surprise. It’s catchy, it’s fun, and the execution is wonderful. It is nothing thought compared to the two powerhouses of this album.

After listening to this whole album for the first time a few months ago “Alien” quickly became my favorite song. It has this super chill krnb vibe complete with shakers as the main percussion instrument. It’s been stuck in my head all week and I don’t think I could ever get enough of it, seriously an incredible song. The title track though takes the cake when it comes to creativity and talent. “Alien” is still a song I could see other Kpop artists doing, while “Devil” is completely different. My brother called it Ksoul which I don’t fully agree with, but it is clear that his voice commands the song. One of my friends said it is the best kpop song I’ve ever shown him, which is some pretty high praise. I think Max Changmin has a truly otherworldly voice, and this is the best way SM could have shown it off, complete with incredible backing vocals that continue throughout the album.

(There are two songs on this album that I have not mentioned, “Dirty Dancing” and “Airplane Mode,” both of which kinda suck. Objectively they’re fine, it is just super boring and safe kpop, especially compared to what is going on in the rest of the album. It’s just not worth the time to listen to it.)

Final Thoughts

I love Max Changmin. He has one of the best voices in Kpop and this album confirms my theory that SM tries to push their older artists into doing more adventurous songs because its not like anyone knew is going to listen to them anyways. Whatever the motive, these songs have occupied my head for the past year and I have no complaints.

Next week's review: Pinkerton (1996) by Weezer

#album 62 #album of the week #album review #music review #album recommendation #krnb #kpop #tvxq changmin #tvxq #max changmin

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bobbystompy · 4 years ago

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My Top 88 Songs Of 2020

Previously: 2019, 2018, 2017, 2016, 2015, 2014, 2013, 2012, 2011

Though we couldn’t get as trim as last year’s 75, still very happy to keep this under 100 for the second year in a row. This was a very difficult year in many ways, but music helped make it more bearable.

As always, criteria and info:

This is a list of what I personally like, not ones I’m saying are the “best” from the year; more subjective than objective

No artist is featured more than once

If it comes down to choosing between two songs, I try to give more weight to a single or featured track

Each song on the list is linked in the title if you wanna check them out for yourself; there is also a Spotify playlist at the bottom that includes the majority of the songs

Usually a pump up video goes here, but 2020 had a different energy, so Michael, take us in.

88) Katy Perry - “Smile”

Even Katy Perry’s good songs are a swirling spiral of maxed out auto-tune. This one is just fine. It’s... fine.

87) All Time Low - “Trouble Is...”

Is All Time Low the Katy Perry of pop punk?

86) Tee Grizzley f/ Payroll Giovanni - “Payroll”

I have never heard of Payroll Giovanni, but I have two questions:

1) Is this his song, and he got Tee to jump on it?

2) Or, did Tee write a song called “Payroll” and think to himself “You know who would be great on this? Payroll Giovanni!”

Favorite stretch:

Listen, we is not the same, you say "door", I say "dough" You say "floor", I say "flow", you say "for sure", I say "fa'sho"

85) Lady Gaga & Ariana Grande - “Rain On Me”

Coming out in 2020 probably hurt this song, because I have no, like, out of the house memories with it. You can only have so much fun with Big Singers Singing over a pulsing beat when it’s coming from the phone in your kitchen as you’re indifferently scrambling eggs.

84) Benjamin Gibbard - “Life In Quarantine”

Now this is a song you can do nothing to; almost feels like it’s reluctant to even exist. It got released in March of 2020, so the outro (“No one is going anywhere soon”) served as a too sad reminder/mantra for what the year was about to be. Second shout out to Gibbard for the many YouTube sets he put together during the early stages of the pandemic (when so many of his peers were trying to figure out the next move).

83) Cardi B f/ Megan Thee Stallion - “WAP”

This felt less like a song and more of a “whoa, did you see the music video?!” and/or a means to relitigate the eternal question “What is the sexual line in music?” And while it was fun to watch people freak the fuck out... the quality itself really needed to be better.

(Note: YouTube video is the edited chorus; explicit version here)

82) McKayla Maroney - “Wake Up Call”

Former Olympic gymnast McKayla Maroney -- of medals and memes fame -- dips her toe into the music waters. It’s inside-the-box modern pop music. One thing that’s hard to escape: it doesn’t really sound like her.

81) Chelsea Cutler - “Sad Tonight”

He vocals really remind me of Alessia Cara.

80) blink-182 - “Quarantine”

Blink doing a Bad Religion impression. Docked a few points for the very weak chorus lyrics (“Quarantine, fuck this disease”). That said, as serious as the song comes off, there are some clever punchlines to be found.

79) Dave Hause & Brian Fallon - “Long Ride Home”

This is kind of a nothing song, but it’s easy listening. Also, if your guitar leads can’t clear the “Could Bobby have written or performed this?” bar, then said leads are probably pretty weak.

78) Travis Scott & Kid Cudi - “THE SCOTTS”

Two artists who pair so well together, it’s hard to tell who exudes more influence on the track (eh, that’s not true, it’s Travis Scott, but Kid Cudi is more of a roommate than guest). They want you to be high by the time the instrumental outro hits.

77) The Strokes - “Bad Decisions”

The beginning sound feels somewhat evolved, but by the time Julian Casablancas croons “Making bad decisions”, the song feels like it could be on their debut album “Is This It?”. And it goes in and out like that from there.

76) Thundercat - “Dragonball Durag”

Thundercat is one of those artists I wish I liked more, but when the occasional track does hit, it’s a momentary glimpse into what real fans seem to always see.

75) TI f/ Lil Baby - “Pardon”

Standard fare. Lil Baby’s cameo is very meh.

74) Porches - “Do U Wanna”

For a song that repeatedly asks “Do you want to dance?”, it sure makes you feel like you’re moving in slow motion.

73) NOFX - “Thatcher Fucked The Kids”

On the best-named album of the year (“West Coast vs. Wessex”), Frank Turner and NOFX cover each other’s material. To start us off, the legends take a song from 12 years ago about British politics from 40 years ago and, well, very easily apply it to right god damn now in America.

72) The Bombpops - “Dearly Departed”

Ahh, my year’s first cancelled concert. The listed names in V1 always make me want to skip this song -- but patience, grasshopper. Chorus is aight.

71) Ratboys - “Alien With A Sleep Mask On”

This band name will never match what the music sounds like.

70) Rolling Blackouts Coastal Fever - “She’s There”

The vocals in this song channel, like, four completely different singers for me, ranging from Bob Dylan to Cloud Nothings.

69) NOBRO - “Don’t Die”

An anthemic chorus meant to be belted in a room with sweaty strangers.

68) Oliver Tree f/ blink-182 - “Let Me Down”

The original solo version of this song is 1:52, and though the blink cameo pushes it over the dreaded two minute mark, it adds enough diversity to justify the choice (keep an eye out for the quick Green Day lyrical nod in the back half).

67) AJJ - “Normalization Blues”

This dropped in January, and if you thought the year was bad then. Punk News:

I'll admit I do want the album to age badly because I really don't want to have to listen to it years later and still say this is the world we're living in.

Said album being titled “Good Luck Everybody” is straight cryptic.

66) Selena Gomez - “Rare”

Very chill for big pop; triplet rhythm singing in the chorus gets me erry time.

65) Kid Cudi & Eminem - “The Adventures Of Moon Man & Slim Shady”

Cudi’s second split collab yields bigger results than his Travis Scott joint (admittedly with a worse beat here). It rarely ever hurts to let Eminem do the heavy lifting.

64) Alkaline Trio - “Smokestack”

A little cheerier than the average Alk3 song, but Dan Andriano seems like he’s been in a great place for a long time now; confident and in control. For me, the whole song builds up to the “You changed my life” chorus.

63) Frank Turner - “Scavenger Type”

Here, Frank takes on the acoustic closer to NOFX’s legendary 1994 album “Punk In Drublic”. Though the energy boost is most noticeable, my favorite part is how you can hear how much Turner loves this song as his melody bursts on the verses.

62) Mike Posner - “Alone In A Mansion”

Mike Posner, an artist I have a very soft spot for, released a storytelling concept album in 2020. From the intro track:

This album was written, recorded, and produced over a period of two weeks in Detroit, Michigan in my parents' basement. It's meant to be listened to all the way through. At least on the first listen. And it's about 36 minutes long. If you can't devote 36 minutes of undivided attention to this album, I again politely ask that you turn it off and return at a later time. I love you and I thank you for taking the time to listen in the first place. Also, it's important to note that the characters and the stories in this album are completely fictional. In addition, anyone struggling with a mental illness - depression, schizophrenia - should not listen to this album. Turn it off.

So those are the stakes. Pulling this song -- the record’s closer -- feels unfair void of context, but them’s the breaks.

61) Nada Surf - “Just Wait”

Heavy hitting chorus without having to be heavy; this could really work in a movie.

60) Matt Pond PA - “Wild Heart”

This having only 805 views on YouTube is criminal.

59) Liquid Death - “Unnecessary And Unimpressive”

Liquid Death -- in this iteration -- is a punk rock supergroup with members of Rise Against, Anti-Flag, The Lawrence Arms, and The Bombpops. If that didn’t interest you enough, all lyrics in the project (which, I believe, is for charity) come from hateful comments or negative reviews. Of the four artists involved, this sounds most like a Bombpops song, with Jen on lead vocals as others chime in.

58) PUP - “Rot”

Off my silver medalist for album name of the year (“This Place Sucks Ass”), PUP doesn’t do anything new here, but it was relieving to see them still going in 2020 when so many others got roadblocked, both physically and creatively.

57) Paul Harrold and the Nuclear Bandits - “Massanutten”

This reminds me of local Chicago artist Al Scorch. So much earnestness in the vocals, but a little more prairie for Harrold compared to speakeasy for Scorch. This would be a good road trip song. And I’m not talking about singalong... more for the stretch where you want to sit in silence and look out at the sun-kissed land blazing by. The song’s greatest victory is getting me to like something that cracks 6:00.

Note to future me: Massanutten is in Virginia (saved you a Google).

56) Kesha f/ Sturgill Simpson, Brian Wilson & Wrabel - “Resentment”

Kesha has been vulnerable in the past but never this stripped down sonically; the chorus would feel right at home on a country radio station. Love a good bridge, too.

55) Megan Thee Stallion f/ Beyoncé - “Savage (Remix)”

An up-and-comer pairing with a legend rarely lets down when both sides are this locked in. Bey wins. Fav line: “If you don't jump to put jeans on, baby, you don't feel my pain”.

She matches flows with Megan but also brings melody. Her blessing takes this song from pretty damn good to undeniably great.

That beat, too.

54) Red City Radio - “Baby Of The Year”

If all you want to do right now is grab a drink in a bar, here is a video built to troll.

(Also: a Liquid Death cameo?!)

53) Nathaniel Rateliff - “And It’s Still Alright”

The last time Mr. Rateliff had our attention, he just wanted a drink. That hit had a chorus with the very-sad-when-removed-from-the-song “If I can't get clean, I'm gonna drink my life away” lyric. Well, our man got sober since. And when the party is over, the introspection comes.

52) Direct Hit! - “HAVE YOU SEEN IT?”

Listening to slowed down Direct Hit! is like watching Usain Bolt lightly jog. It kinda makes sense because the core action is there, but it also feels sort of incorrect.

51) Hayley Williams - “Dead Horse”

Solo Hayley songs have this feel like they could do anything at any time... but then don’t. This one does the same until a very fun chorus breaks it up.

50) Kid Cudi f/ Phoebe Bridgers - “Lovin’ Me”

Probably the most improbable collab on this list (if 2020 hadn’t repeatedly taught us to not be surprised by anything).

49) The Homeless Gospel Choir - “Don’t Compare”

Listening to The Homeless Gospel Choir is kind of like getting a dedicated pep talk from a good friend... while fire rains down from the sky.

48) Carly Rae Jepsen - “Let’s Sort The Whole Thing Out”

Queen vocals with one prince of a tempo; this chorus is Sour Patch Kids riding Twix logs down a soda pop waterfall -- and it’s a b-side.

47) Green Day - “Meet Me On The Roof”

I like this song because it reminds me of summer and because it doesn’t really sound like Green Day (but still totally does).

46) Broadway Calls - “Meet Me On The Moon”

Promise -- swear -- I was gonna compare this Broadway Calls song to Green Day before realizing they both had titles about meeting in an escalated location. That said, I did put them next together on purpose to more coherently make this point.

45) David Rokos - “Building Bridges”

My buddy Dave wrote this song, and I think I’ve asked him three times what “burning sugar” meant (he says it’s a reference to absinthe). This song will make you want to travel to enjoy not only the places but the people around you.

44) Charli XCX - “claws”

Charli XCX keeps it futuristic in a video that could be described as sexy, cheesy, goofy, and playful-yet-serious.

43) Brian Fallon - “Lonely For You Only”

This is too easy and should not work (and maybe doesn’t). But that chorus... that circular phrasing... it still takes me all the way out. But I’m the same cat who proposed while a Gaslight Anthem cover was playing.

42) Waxahatchee - “Fire”

This song could be in a different language and hit just as hard.

41) Harry Styles - “Adore You”

Purifying pop.

40) Local H - “Hold That Thought”

Hardest rock song thus far. Local H was one of the first artists to play “live” once the lockdown hit (on a simultaneous YouTube/Facebook stream), and watching them attack music in their Chicago practice bunker felt a little bit like taking in the end of the world. New songs, old songs, covers -- it didn’t matter; their cool, unmatched apathy fits a pandemic or peacetime.

Ironically, was able to see them live in 2020, as they played a socially distanced, outdoor drive up concert in a minor league baseball parking lot. It wasn’t the same, but it was still something.

39) Crazy & The Brains - “I Don’t Deliver Pizza Anymore”

This song is just cool*. The verses feel tense and crucial, it starts to unspool in the pre-chorus, and the chorus itself feels like a light comedown more than anything else.

(* - though the lyric video is docked some points for spelling y’all as “ya’ll”)

38) Drake f/ Fivio Foreign & Sosa Geek - “Demons”

Menacing Drizzy can be very fun from time to time. Also more than happy to keep “Toosie Slide” very far away from this list.

37) Hey Dad!!! - “Life’s Alright”

Small band, big song; though summer feels light-years away.

36) insignificant other - “i’m so glad i feel this way about you”

This song lands a big haymaker in the first few seconds, so it was probably a good call to pull back some for the chorus and, eventually, outro.

35) BTS - “Dynamite”

Heard they made the lyrics bad on purpose for their English hit, which makes sense, because they’re bad. That said, if you listen knowing they’re supposed to be bad, it kinda makes them... good? Listen, 771 million views would have me singing nursery rhymes in Pig Latin.

34) DaBaby f/ RODDY RICCH - “ROCKSTAR”

Someone said this could be the song of the summer, but, because there wasn’t really a summer, I feel like I only heard it once all year. Also, are we really pretending Post Malone* didn’t just do a “like a rockstar” song three years ago?

(* - and N.E.R.D. before that and Cypress Hill before that... though N.E.R.D. only waiting a year after Cypress, so maybe DaBaby actually was patient)

33) The Front Bottoms - “the hard way”

Don’t take it easy on the animal / I am the animal

Not quite sure what this line means, but I fixate on the phrasing every single time. This song sounds resigned in a very self-aware way.

32) The 1975 - “If You’re Too Shy (Let Me Know)”

For a band called The 1975, they sure sound like they’re on their ‘80s shit here. Also, a real thing that happened:

Me: Is he coercing her to get naked?! I thought this band was woke.

/scans lyrics

/notices “She said” before the “Maybe I would like you better if you took off your clothes” line

Me: Ahh.

Sax solo, take us out.

31) Charly Bliss & PUP - “It’s Christmas And I Fucking Miss You”

A song that is already a forever staple on all my future Xmas playlists.

30) 2 Chainz f/ Ty Dolla $ign & Lil Duval - “Can’t Go For That”

Shorty said she love me / I said “I love me back”

This is a real genre blur; rap at its core, but also soulful, funky, and very danceable. Damn creative.

29) Billie Eilish - “Therefore I Am”

Billie's 2020 gave a few singles -- but no new album -- and a body shaming scandal where the backlash to the backlash probably caused more headlines than the tweet that started it all. Still, she stays on cruise control above the clouds; can all eyes be on you if they can’t even make you out?

Video for this is fun, too. Not sure if her running amok in an empty mall is more of a COVID necessity or commentary on the dying retail industry. As always with her, fill in your own blanks for now.

28) Future f/ Drake - “Life Is Good”

This was my most listened to rap song in the first half of the year, and bumping again now, almost forgot how good it is. Drake just chasing one-liner Instagram captions in the first half:

- “Haven’t done my taxes, I’m too turnt up”

- “N****s caught me slipping once, OK, so what?”

- “B****, this is fame not clout, I don’t even know what that’s about”

And, of course, “Workin’ on the weekend like usual”. The man could make anything glamorous. Let’s hit that H&R Block, bro!

Future’s back half is a totally different song and feels mostly like noise, but the vibe is cool, so I don’t even totally mean that in a bad way. You can even make out a “Got Promethazine in my blood and Percocet” lyric to mark your Future bingo card and immediately move on.

27) I’m Glad It’s You - “The Silver Cord”

This song feels like cold air blowing on the back of your neck.

(Sidebar: thought this band was called The Silver Cord until literally right now)

26) The Spill Canvas - “Mercy”

A dreamy, distorted, at-home version of whatever you remember The Spill Canvas sounding like. This song is confessional and at peace, with the Grade A self-loathing we’ve come to love from this band.

25) 100 gecs f/ Charli XCX, Rico Nasty & Kero Kero Bonito - “ringtone (remix)”

100 gecs first hit my radar with the explosively obnoxious “money machine”, but that’s a 2019er, so this remix to “ringtone” will have to do. It’s catchy like a younger sibling persistently singing a song you’re sick of hearing*.

(* - /only child trying to work in sibling analogies)

24) iann dior f/ Machine Gun Kelly & Travis Barker - “Sick And Tired”

Iann Dior -- ...yeah -- channels Juice WRLD on the hook, and MGK/Travis Barker buoy a track that, honestly, doesn’t really even need the help.

23) Nick Lutsko - “Unleash Your Spirit”

Lutsko hit my radar on Twitter with some legendary political anthems (word to the RNC and Dan Bongino + his Dashboard Trump parody). “Unleash Your Spirit” is the song I most fear hearing (or even thinking of) within a few minutes of going to bed. Not because it’s Halloween theme is scary -- because it’s that god damn catchy. It permeates your brain. True story: a week ago, I woke up in the middle of the night with “Bobbing for apples with the boys” so ingrained in my head, it felt like someone was standing there yelling it through a megaphone.

22) Dogleg - “Kawasaki Backflip”

Bad 2020 robbed many concerts from us, and not getting to see this band live might take the cake. I end the year liking them but could have been *all in* with the right performance and the right venue. Also, Song Title of the Year until further notice.

21) Eminem f/ Juice WRLD - “Godzilla”

Eminem has all of the words and all of the lyrical dexterity, but sometimes it feels like there isn’t anything to ground him. Enter: one of the best beats he’s ever spit on and a Juice WRLD hook to give it pop angle. But let’s not put Slim in the corner -- when he starts accelerating at the end, it’s is a true “holy fuck” moment. It sounds faster than if you actually fast forwarded.

The video ends with a touching audio message from Juice WRLD.

20) Soccer Mommy - “circle the drain”

This song is so gloriously ‘90s; it leans in and does not care.

19) Sam Russo - “Always Lost”

The first time I met you, we were on the last bus You passed me a bottle, and I knew you were one of us

Took 25 words to hook me; I was txting friends before the first chorus even hit.

18) Sincere Engineer - “Trust Me”

Deanna Belos pushes her vocals in this one. I asked about the performance, and she said it was one of the first ones they recorded in the studio, but when they were done and listening back to everything, she re-did this track because her throat was much more used to what the song required.

“That’s why it sounds like I’m on roids lol,” she added.

17) Jay Electronica f/ JAY-Z - “Flux Capacitor”

Jay Electronica signed to Roc Nation in November of 2010. At of the start of 2020, he had still -- STILL HOW FUCKING STILL -- not released a debut album. When he announced it was finally dropping in February, it was met with skeptic eyes. He’d “announced” before. Shit, he’d even posted track lists of albums that never saw the light of day. He was a tease’s tease. It ended up getting a release date of March 12. As the pandemic got really bad in the March 11 zone, he finally had an actual reason to delay the proceedings (the plan: a studio live stream listening party*).

But no -- this is Jay Electronica. Why wouldn’t he drop as the world was ending? The same reason why his costar wouldn’t not have a watch like a Saudi prince. It had to end for it to happen. I wish I saved the memes, because they were fantastic. All I have is my own Twitter memory to prove it happened:

I love this song entirely: the “get the gat” hook (soooo New Orleans), Hov calling out the NFL/acquaintances clout chasing his potential death/rapping forever bars, Jay Elect’s ham-fisted and awkward ass Farrakhan line. Everything is exactly where it should be.

Final verdict on the full album: I don’t know, a B or B+? It had a lot more Jay-Z than expected (wooo), but -- and I rarely say this -- it could have actually been longer.

16) New Found Glory - “Greatest Of All Time”

NFG with a song referencing the Jordan-Rodman-Pippen Bulls only a few months before “The Last Dance” aired. Dare we call it marketing genius? The punk beat does not care; the punk beat is too busy taking souls.

15) Dave Hause f/ Amythyst Kiah & Kam Franklin - “Your Ghost”

“I can’t breathe”

On the heels of the George Floyd/BLM protests came Dave Hause’s somber attempt to capture the moment, desperation, and hurt. On a podcast, he said he was aware he might not ever lead the movement but still wanted to contribute something in an effort to use his platform as a white artist to change someone, anyone’s mind going forward.

14) Taylor Swift - “this me trying”

The chorus makes me feel like the crowd is parting like the Red Sea on a high school -- shit, no, middle school -- dance floor; smoke machine and all. Your crush is waiting for you on the other side. What are you going to say?

13) Phoebe Bridgers - “Kyoto”

Phoebe is one of the best lyricists out because of her specificity, but even though this song is about her dad, you can really fit it to your own narrative.

12) The Lawrence Arms - “Last, Last Words”

The Lawrence Arms wrote their new record (which singer Chris McCaughan described as “this end of the world outpost”) prior to the pandemic, but once you start to process album themes -- and research its namesake -- you do wonder. All of this, combined with some “Catcher In The Rye” references, and we’ve got ourselves a winning formula.

Dressed to kill for oblivion

11) New Lenox - “Fairytale Of Gary, Indiana”

Your boy plays drums and is on the cover art for this one. Dave Rokos wrote the tune, which references The Pogues’ “Fairytale of New York”. Good news: no slurs in the Gary version. We’ll have you in and out in 90 seconds. Also: say hello to the recording debut of Alisa Caruso (some backup vox at the end).

10) Beach Slang - “Tommy In The 80s”

My most played song of 2020, but it really was more of a byproduct of how early in the year the album dropped. I’m still such a sucker for it, though. Other than forced nostalgia, not totally sure what the track is about. Did learn Beach Slang recruited former Replacements bassist Tommy Stinson to play on their LP, which was named -- /deepest of breaths -- “The Deadbeat Bang of Heartbreak City” (so maybe it has something to do with that).

9) Juice WRLD f/ Mashmello - “Come & Go”

The :55 mark. Wait until the :55 mark. When the guitar kicks in and tempo doubles, we have a real “oh, shit!” moment. I knew who Juice was when he passed but only “Liquid Dreams”. His 2020 album (“Legends Never Die”) showed us of what could have been; 55 minutes, loaded with cameos and creativity and experimentation. This song had me in its gravitational pull immediately. By the end of the year, they were using it on sports broadcasts, and it felt like a ubiquitous part of the culture.

One of my favorite days of 2020 was visiting the Juice mural in Chicago with my wife. We went impulsively during the day after someone posted a picture on Twitter.

I snapped one of my own and posted to IG with the Signals Midwest lyric “There is such quiet grace in private moments in public spaces”. The band responded with “RIP JUICE”; the perfect online exchange.

Shortly after, I was out with a different group of friends, and we went back at night. This time, it was protected by a fence you had to squeeze past. When we got through, there were kids in there smoking, taking pictures, just hanging out; empty liquor bottles lined the bottom of the mural. Even though it didn’t take all that long to make it there, it still felt like a journey and total ‘movie moment in real life’; a complete rarity in a year like 2020.

8) Mac Miller - “Good News”

Maybe I’ll lay down for a little...

Sadly continuing the theme of artists gone too soon, we have this reflective Mac Miller single, which feels more like self-eulogy than traditional rap. You feel it the entire time. The song crests with “There’s a whole lot more for me waitin’ on the other side”, and it conveys a readiness for whatever happens next.

7) The Dirty Nil - “Done With Drugs”

I don’t pray to Jesus or even own a suit

We lost the creators of our last two songs to substances, and, if we are to take this song at face value, The Dirty Nil don’t want to go down the same path. Drying out never sounded so cool and defiant... until the IKEA suggestion.

6) The Weeknd - “Blinding Lights”

Uptempo Abel is undefeated. My favorite pop song of 2020 has you feeling like you’re speeding through the empty streets of nighttime Las Vegas in a stolen car; indifferent to your environment, only tuned in to your personal desire.

And, on the lamer side of the spectrum, it spawned a catchy TikTok dance.

5) Spanish Love Songs - “Self-Destruction (As A Sensible Career Choice)”

It won’t be this bleak forever... yeah, right.

SLS has always been over-the-top with their lyrics spotlighting the hopelessness of the human condition -- so it was the *perfect* combo to being locked inside with nothing looking to forward to. Bonus: fun cake video.

Though the song’s core is uncut despair, a random moment I remember from 2020 was my wife telling me “I can hear you smiling as you’re singing” from another room as I belted the despondent chorus.

4) Worst Party Ever - “False Teeth”

This song sounds like The Front Bottoms; insecure yet so full.

3) Run The Jewels - “the ground below”

There were a lot of songs *about* 2020, but I’m not sure any artist soundtracked what being alive now is like more than RTJ. My favorite rap song and rap record of 2020.

Fav Killer Mike line: “Not a holy man, but I'm moral in my perversiveness / So I support the sex workers unionizing their services”

Fav El-P line: “I'll slap a dying child he don't pronounce my name correct”

2) The Menzingers - “America Pt. 2″

The Menzingers unexpectedly released an acoustic, re-done version of 2019′s “America (You’re Freaking Me Out)” single. It dropped on my birthday -- June 5th, 2020 -- as the rage in this country boiled over and protesters took to the streets. Though some of the lyrics remained the same, the new ones were changed with true purpose:

Well George Floyd was murdered by a cop The whole world saw the video and watched Now justice is long overdue Grab your pitchforks, we’re heading to Pennsylvania Avenue

I had nothing left when the first pre-chorus hit: “I hope the Devil and Donald and Mitch McConnell rot in hell for all tomorrows”. Tattoo this on my fucking soul.

All funds from the song were donated to Community Bail Funds (via Act Blue) & Campaign Zero. I purchased the track before hearing a note.

1) Machine Gun Kelly - “My Bloody Valentine”

Going into the year, I couldn’t tell you the difference between Machine Gun Kelly and Mac Miller -- now they’re both fixtures in this Top 10. All I really knew about MGK involved tattoos and a rap battle lost to Eminem (not that anyone ever beats Eminem).

In 2020, he took a punk/emo turn, with the services of GOAT drummer Travis Barker and new squeeze Megan Fox at his side. This song’s lyrics could potentially be cheesy but aren’t -- they all land. From the simulation going bad to not wanting “fake love” to all the damn second guessing and the earnestness that just won’t let you off the mat.

Every piece to the puzzle adds something: the messy hair, the Ken doll build, the forced iconic pink guitar that now feels actually iconic. It was almost like no one had any fun this year so he could have all of it on our behalf. There’s a half second shot of him sticking his tongue our during the pre-chorus, a joy 99.99% of us never got to feel.

The album itself was just as fantastic*; a 2000′s pop punk throwback with a Halsey duet, horrible skits (hi, Pete Davidson FaceTime), OpIvy lyrical nod (complete with a royalty check), a warp speed punk track that doesn’t even crack the minute mark, your token 6/8 ballad, acoustic closer (about his daughter), and some experimentation that leaves the new genre but still stays nearby; shades of Lil Peep, if he had Blink-182 as his backing band. Speaking of, please do not miss Travis’ fill at the 2:30 mark.

(* - named “Tickets To My Downfall”... woof)

MGK could get cancelled tomorrow, but we’ll always have this year in a bottle. The acoustic version of the song (sung in a lower resister), the 10 minute making of video (that I watched, uh, twice)... shit, he even turned it into a medley at the start of 2021.

It might be cliche to say “stay winning”, but when someone stacks this many W’s with no end in sight, what the fuck else do you call it? Real love.

* * *

Thank you so much for reading. Here is the Spotify playlist (includes 87 of the 88 songs).

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9hwa9joong · 4 years ago

Text

My Top Songs [2020]

Hi all!

As 2020 comes to an end (thank whatever higher power there is), I wanted to share a list of my favorite songs! (the following are songs RELEASED this year) (I’ve included a list of songs that I heard this year, but weren’t released in 2020, after it). These are mostly korean/chinese.

Alright, this is in NO particular order, just my favorites. I’ve mostly included one song from a group/solo act and added their other great releases in description. It is mostly music that I listened to, so if your favs are not here, feel free to rec me good music! ENJOY!

(the list ended up becoming quite long, so read under the cut)

Black swan(orchestral version) by BTS

BTS had a great year musically. 2 korean albums, 1 japanese and lots of solo stuff. My most played songs are Dynamite (listen, she did what she had to do), Stay Gold (if gold had a sound, this would be it), Black Swan, Blue and Grey (i live for melancholy), Life Goes On (spring day’s successor), Filter(park jimin is a threat), Friends (my feels!), Louder than bombs (TROYE SIVAN), UGH (murder music), 00:00, Moon (jin solos are beautiful always) and Your Eyes Tell (honestly, show me one bad japanese single, i dare you).

Ghosting by TXT

I got into TXT a lot more this year, as opposed to being a casual listener that I was last year. Many people say they have a no-skip discography and I believe it’s true. My most played songs were Blue Hour (i ADORE this song), We Lost the summer, Wishlist, Can’t you see me (the song that made me a stan), Fairy of Shampoo (ethereal), PUMA (choi yeonjun is a threat), Eternally (an ATTACKK!) and their f2020 cover.

Answer by ATEEZ

Ateez is another group i really got into this year, mesmerized by their performance abilities. My most played : Star 1117 (i’m very soft for this song), To the Beat (a true bop), Inception (holy jongho vocals), One day at a time and Good Lil Boy (does hongjoong ever have a bad rap verse?). Their Black Cat Nero cover also blew me away!! (i’m lowkey obsessed).

God’s menu by Stray Kids

I’ve been keeping an eye on Stray Kids ever since hellevator came out and this is my favourite song by them, so far (yes, i had a heart attack when i first saw Hyunjin). Most Played : Back Door (the beat drop gives me life, the choreo is probably my fav), All in, Easy (do they ever have a bad chorus?), GO LIVE (the beat??!! killer), Another Day (i am a slow jam hoe) and My Universe.

Pacman by eaJ

I didn’t think it was possible to love him more after day6 but Jae’s solo music has proved me wrong. Yes, i love Pillows (with Keshi) to bits but pacman is my first love. Most Played : It just is (Seori and their golden vocals), LA TRAINS (vocals!!!), Pinocchio (the mv is adorable, the beat is so fun), 50 proof (the vibes man, it's the VIBES) and TRUMAN.

Left & Right by Seventeen

Another group with amazing releases this year, I’m slowly getting into Seventeen more these days. Most Played : Fallin’ Flower (so beautiful, the vocals), 24H (the beat change?!!???), 17 (Joshua, DK and Pink Sweats) and HOME;RUN (this is a brand of fun that is entirely their own).

Not by the moon by GOT7

I am no stranger to GOT7, i’ve liked their music for years now but this is one of their more lyrical releases this year and i adore when GOT7 does this type of music. Most Played : Poison (jackson opens it and the vibes are immaculate), Last Piece (the way the vocals flow into the rap) and Thank You, Sorry.

So Beautiful by DPR IAN

This is literally the first song i’ve heard from this artist, please rec me more. I also adore No Blueberries with DPR LIVE and CL.

Eight by IU, Prod. SUGA

IU is an indisputable vocal queen, and her music always comforts me greatly so when i heard she was having a song produced by Yoongi, i promptly lost my shit. It was everything I expected and more and embodies sorrow and pain with great grace. Give you My Heart from the ‘Crash Landing on you OST’ was also a loved song this year.

Cry for me by TWICE

How do i talk about the queens? TWICE is the group i go to when I want fun music with good vibes but this song has such bad b*tch vibes that i am in love. Most played : More & More (a bop), Don’t call me again, I can’t stop me (i love the way it flows), Handle It (the vocals??? How pretty this song is???) and Say Something (seriously, eyes wide open is an amazing album).

Criminal by Teamin

Where do i start with Lee Taemin? I love almost all his solo stuff. He grabbed me by the neck ever since ‘Move’ and hasn't let go. Criminal is SO taemin that i don't think anyone else could have delivered the concept with such grace and grit. Most Played : 2 Kids (the chorus is so good), Clockwork, Idea (i love the vibe) and Pansy (i'm a ballad hoe).

Maria by Hwasa

Listen, i loved Twit when it came out but i love Maria as her sound so much more. Most Played : I’m bad too (feat. DPR LIVE) (i love the beat, the vibe and the flavor), LMM and Orbit from ‘The King: Eternal Monarch OST’ (as soon as her voice comes in, i loved the song).

Breath by DEAN, Rad Museum, Mokyo

I’m not aware of many DEAN releases this year, please feel free to rec me if I missed any.

Dear my friend by Agust D ft. Kim Jong Wan (NELL)

D-2 was everything expected from the second mixtape off Agust D and yet it brought a fresh wave of singing and melodies, once again proving the man’s production genius. This song is so reminiscent in it’s lyrics and still so real, its my favorite off the record.Other songs I loved : People, Deachwita and What do you think? (i DID love the complete mixtape though).

Given - Taken by Enhypen

Yes, I watched I-LAND. Given-Taken was a better debut then I expected at first. 10 months (the chorus and beat) and Flicker off their debut album were also played a lot.

I just want to stay with you by Zion.T

The King: Eternal Monarch was a much awaited drama for a lot of people and it’s OST is one of the best ones this year. Zion.T’s amazing vocals really did an amazing job of expressing the love in the story. Other songs I really liked from this album were Gravity by Kim Jong Wan and the Hydrangea Instrumental by Lee Geon Yeong.

The purge by Jay Park, pH-1, Woodie Gochild, Sik-K, and others.

H1GHER: RED TAPE is my hype album of the year. All artists involved did an amazing job. Seriously, get yourself some bomb ass beats, as a treat. Other loved tracks : Telefono Remix (Woodie Gochild is great at his flavour of delivery), Closed Case and The Arrival.

Soul by Lay (zhang yixing)

Yixing’s album LIT was his best project till date, no arguments. He’s really evolved into such a refined musician, especially with how well he merges traditional chinese instruments into Hip Hop/RnB beats and I adore the vibe of this album. Although the album is great entirely, Soul is my favourite for how softly and prettily it flows. Other loved tracks: Eagle (the BEAT), Fly, Boom (bops on bops on BOPS) and Call My Name.

100 ways by Jackson Wang

It is astounding how well Jackson has formed his own style of music ever since starting off with Papillon. He’s also sort of come into himself as an artist and it has birthed some great music. Other loved tracks : Pretty Please (i love the vibe of the song!) and Should’ve Let Go (ft. JJ Lin).

SUGA’s interlude by Halsey

Idk how else to explain it but Halsey and Yoongi have great music synergy. There’s something about their song/lyric writing that matches very well and needless to say, I adore the song. Blueberry eyes by MAX is also another great Yoongi collab.

In Your Time by Lee Suhyun

It’s Okay to not be Okay had an OST that was dreamy, gritty and very fairytale-esque, much like the drama itself. Among a bunch of great songs, this one is my favourite. Other loved songs: You’re Cold by Heize (always delivers!), Breath by Sam Kim (OST angel), Hallelujah by Kim Feel (chills!), In Silence by Janet Suhh (literally how angelic is her tone??), I’m your Psycho by Janet Suhh (it’s creepy in a dreamy way) and Brother | Her World | Through the dark Tunnel of time | Butterfly - all amazing instrumentals by Nam Hye Seung and Park Sang Hee (seriously, go listen to the album).

By my side by Junny

Another great discovery towards the end of the Year, Junny has vocals for DAYS and admirable delivery. Other loved songs: AURA ft. pH-1, edge (this is so hypnotising in it’s beauty) and I will. Please feel welcome to educate me more about this artist!!

Make a Wish by NCT

NCT always provides bops and NCT U is my favourite sub-unit, for their unique style of music, so when they came out with this song I was ready and they delivered! Most Played : 90’s Love (the old boy band theme was so well done), From Home (i’m a sucker for slow songs), Nectar (yes, i adore WayV’s music), MAD DOG by NCT 127 and Kick It by NCT 127 (this is the flavour of NCT i LOVE).

Zombie by Day6

Day6 has always been in my daily otations and as always, they put out good music after good music. I loved both the original Korean and the English versions of this song (they do rock well, what else is there to say?). Other loved songs : Tick Tock (oh the vocals, the way the beat moves!), Love me or Leave me, Day and Night... actually the whole Album is great, go listen to ‘The Book of us: The Demon’.

Fearless by Ma Di [other chinese songs]

Chinese songs have been a surprisingly pleasant addition to my daily rotation. Fearless from the “Go Ahead” OST takes the top stop because of how well it embodies the struggles of stepping into adulthood, the melody and MaDi’s amazing vocals. Other Chinese songs I loved: Praise for Red Plum Blossoms by Xiao Zhan (the perfect welcoming of spring paired with such expressive vocals), Remaining Years by Xiao Zhan (Joy of Life OST) and his OST for the Oath of Love.

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The following is the list of songs I heard in 2020, but were not released in 2020. Please let me know if you like them, or if you know other similar music! (I know, I know, I’m late to the game) Enjoy!

DEAN - Sometimes I hear Howlin' in my head

Zhang Jie/Zhang Bichen - Simple Wish

Li Ronghao - If I were Young

JJ Lin - What I Miss

Ateez - Mist | Twilight | Wonderland | Say my name | Thank you

Stray Kids - voices

Seventeen - Trauma

Loona - Hi High

Day6 - Shoot me

GOT7 - You calling my Name

RADWIMPS - Is There Still Anything That Love Can Do?

Baekhyun - UN Village

Taemin - Goodbye | want

Aquillo - Silhouette

Talos - To Each His Own

Cigarettes after sex (literally everything)

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I know this was long, if you read it till the end, I hope you all enjoyed it still.

Have a smooth year in 2021,

-love, c.

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ironwoman18 · 4 years ago

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We Found Love in a Hopeless Place part 21

Chapter 21: A Change did you good

Ethan's wedding was a week away and Spencer was really excited about it. The couple bought their clothes for that event together and the present for them.

Max picked a Christmas dinnerware set since it was that month and she thought someone could already give them an everyday set.

On Friday they decorate her apartment and at night lay on the couch with Tai food and a movie on.

She made him promise to watch a Christmas movie until the end of the month. And since she accepted the Halloween one, he accepted hers.

Then they fell asleep cuddling on the couch and spend the weekend making plans for New Orleans. They will have a whole week to check places.

Spencer was tempted to call Will but he knew JJ would ask and he did not wanted her to. So they decided to go to the art and WWII museum, do a turn around the Mississippi River, go to the French Quarter, Garden District and the Jackson Square.

"Max you know we will be there just for a week right?" Asked Spencer as he handed her a cup of coffee and sitting next to her.

"I know but there's a lot of things to see and according to this page we can walk the French Quarter and check the Jackson Square the same day since it's in the Quarter" she took a sip of coffee "and the other places we can select a day for each one"

"Ok... I hope we can do everything"

"We can always go back any other time" she smirked.

"I bet you would say that" he laughed and after they finished he left to his apartment to get everything ready because they will leave on Monday.

On Monday JJ walked in Emily's office "do you know where is Spence?" Asked the blonde woman sitting in front of her boss and best friend.

"He asked for a week off" said her with her eyes on a piece of paper.

"It's interesting how someone can change"

"What do you mean?" Emily looked up at her."

"Since Spencer joined the BAU he only took days off when Maeve was kill and during those months he was going to New Mexico to get the medicine for his mom and now he's asking for a week off?"

"He learned that he needs a life out of this... World we have to deal with"

"I'm happy for him but at the same time I'm worry because the last time he didn't tell us what's going on he ended up in jail"

"I know where he is, he had to"

"Really? Where?"

"I can't tell you. It's personal information and if he wants to tell you he will"

"Oh come on Em!" JJ used her puppy eyes on her knowing it will melt her heart.

"No JJ I can't. But all you need to know is that he is at a friend's wedding and he won't be doing anything against the rules" she laughed "now let's go, we have a case"

Back to Spencer and Max. They were arriving to the New Orleans' national terminal and walked to get their suitcases.

They were holding hands as he told her somethings he learned about the city thanks to Will, Henry and JJ.

"Why didn't you ask Will or JJ?" Asked Max.

"I know if I ask Will he will tell her and I still dont want JJ to know about us"

"And why is that?"

"Because since I got back to work she keeps treating me like a kid. She's worry because I made myself vulnerable to this crazy woman and it was easy for her to send me to jail' he sighed and Max squeezed his hand gently.

"I know its annoying to have someone like that. I have a friend who was like it after my ex and when I told her about you, she freaked out and started to say that you will hurt me and if that happen she won't be by my side" she rolled her eyes "but after I told her more about you, your personality and the things that we have in common she relaxed, so maybe you just need to talk to her and she will see that she's not your mom and she needs to relax about you"

He smiled and kisses her forehead "you are wonderful, do you know that?" He smiled at her.

"I do but I like when you say it" they laughed as they arrived to the baggage claim area, they had the dinnerware set as carry-on bag so they just need the baggage with their clothes.

The couple waited with the rest of the passengers until they machine started to work and once they had everything they left. Outside was a man with a piece of paper with their names so it most be their transportation.

"Hey I'm Spencer Reid and this is Max Brenner"

The young man nodded "welcome to New Orleans, I'm Brandon and I hope you enjoy the city while you are here" he smiled at them "I'm waiting for another couple that just arrived from New York so we will have to wait, is that ok?" They nodded.

"Yeah, I will get some coffee, do you want Spence?" Asked Max Max looking at him.

"Sure, and Brandon do you want one?"

"Yeah please, I need some. I couldn't sleep well. Ethan kept me up until midnight telling me who I will pick up today and tomorrow" he looked at Spencer "I'm his cousin by the way " he laughed.

Max nodded and went to a coffee shop and brought three coffees then she paid for them and returned to the two men.

"Here is your favorite Spence and I ordered an standard for you Brandon" he nodded and smiled.

"Thank you" he drank a sip "ok as I was telling you, you can visit a restaurant in the French Quarter were you can have the best creole meal ever"

"Really? I think when we visit the French Quarter we can stop by" said Max looking at Spencer.

"I was thinking that, and its perfect because it's close to the Jackson Square"

"Perfect" she smiled and after a couple of minutes later the other family arrived and they left the airport to go to the hotel.

They talked about themselves and what they wanted to see around the city.

When they arrived to the hotel they were in awe with the architecture of it. It looked like a old house from the south during civil war but inside it was modern with old fashioned stuffs. On the center they have a Christmas tree decorated with pictures of the city and images of their teams.

They check in and went to leave their baggage in the room then went down because Ethan wanted to see them.

"Hey Spencer!" He smiled as he saw his friend and hugged him "long time since we saw each other" then his eyes moved to Max "and you must be Max, they woman who won this man's heart" she laughed and blushed softly "nice to meet you" he said smiling.

"Nice to meet you" she said and they held hands "Spencer told me about you and said that you were really talented with the saxophone"

This time it was his turn to blushed "not as good as you could think but enough to pay the rent" he laughed "my future wife is the talent one. I met her in a bar. She has an amazing voice that can send you to heaven... she is a blues singer and right now she is working on an album. She asked me to play the saxophone in it"

"Well that's amazing. And it will be also your album" Ethan smiled "where is she?"

"Her mother took her to have lunch together so I'm on my own. So let's go to eat something and Max could tell me how you guys met and what she saw in you" they laughed and walked to the restaurant of the hotel.

They talked about everything he asked and what they asked him. Max told him about her job and Spencer said just to basic information of his job. He learned a long time ago to keep it simple when it comes to his job.

Then the future wife arrived and joined the conversation. They had a wonderful afternoon until night when both couples left to rest.

"He's really nice" said Max when they were in bed "why did you stop talking to him?"

"We were both busy. He was busy with his music and I was busy with my job at the FBI. I wished to stay in contact but it wasn't easy" he looked at her "he helped me when I was considering to leave the FBI on my second year. I was returning from a tough situation for a 24 years old" she nodded "I always will regret not keeping in contact with him"

She nodded and lays her head on his chest "I understand and I hate that life gets in the way of a good friendship" he nodded and hugged her. Then they felt asleep.

The next day they had breakfast and decided to go to the museums because that night will be the bachelor and bachelorette parties so they left early to have time.

The art museum was amazing for Max because of all the French art, they were also American and African art but she was mesmerized by the French ones.

She even brought some souvenirs for herself and to some of her family members. Then they ate something and visit the WWII museum where Spencer had fun giving facts to her and she was less excited but loved to hear him talking excited.

After that the couple arrives in time to take a shower and get ready for both parties. She left with the bride and her friends and he left with groom and his friends.

The parties were at two different bars on Bourbon street. The women danced and had fun drinking and the man had fun and drink watching a concert of a jazz band.

At almost 5AM both groups returned home. The only sober was Spencer since he did not drink alcohol, at least not a lot and the mother of the bride.

They went to their room and slept until midday. Max was slightly hungover but nothing three cups of coffee and tylenol could not cure. They were invited for a New Orleans brunch by the hotel and they spent the rest of the day in the hotel.

The next day will be the wedding so they needed to be fresh.

When the next day arrived Max left to the salon to get ready while Spencer went to cut his hair just a little to not look to messy and he shaved his little facial hair.

When Max arrived they changed and he was drooling over how beautiful that dress looked on her. She picked it with her sister so he just saw it in her suitcase but did not imagine her wearing it.

"I love seeing you with normal clothes but you plus a suit it's like a match made in heaven" she smiled at him fixing his tie a little.

"And you look amazing with that dress" he said to her, making her blush. He just need to say a few words to make her blush and feel special. That's the magic of the doctor Spencer Reid "let's go" he whispered after kissed her softly.

The couple left with their present to the wedding which will be in that hotel. The wedding was beautiful, the bride walked to her soon to be husband with My Endless Love by Lionel Richie. All women were in tears and some men too. Spencer held Max closer to him the whole song.

Their vows were even more beautiful because they were poems written by them.

After the kiss everyone moved to the reception area were they left their presents and sat down. The could danced their first dance has husband and wife and after the food everyone started to dance and have fun. Spencer danced with Max a few songs, he was not the best dancer but he did his best for her then they rested and drank water.

Later at night they newlyweds couple left after she threw the bouquet and fell in Max hands. Spencer and Max blushed and Ethan could not held a laugh before patting softly his shoulder "be prepared man" he laughed more and left.

The rest of the night was calmer for them. She made him dance a few more songs, slow ones they they left the their room and finished it making love.

The rest of the days were as they planned. They do the tours they planned and had fun in the city. He was happy to finally enjoying a city he was in instead of staying in the police station or around awful places looking for crazy men or women killing or kidnapping someone else.

They returned to Washington to get ready for Christmas which will be in a few days.

OOooOOooOO

I'm back and I want to apologize because it took me so much to post this. I had troubles finding places for them to visit and I had planned some others things that I decided to not include.

I hope you liked it and if you did leave a comment and if you didn't also leave a comment. I would love to hear from you.

If you read my Garvez Moments story, I'm having a writer block with their honeymoon to Peru so I'm so sorry for keeping you waiting.

Next chapter will begins with Christmas and we will move forward to the Linda Barnes plot. Read you soon.

#criminal mind #spencer reid #maxine brenner #maxcer #fanfiction

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themarchblessing · 4 years ago

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4 Blessings A Plenty

SABRINA

Following behind the florists I looked out at the garden spotting three arrangements that really caught my eye. The color coordination and presentation really made my eyes light up. It’s been hours of constant walking for me and I’m reaching my end point. Corey and I have finally gotten our affairs in order to celebrate our vow renewal. We’ve had to postpone this event for a year due to how hectic our life has been. This ceremony is extra special because we’ve been married for four years now, my mother’s cancer is in remission and Ellena is halfway through kindergarten. All in all this year has been so good for our family. We’ve received a platoon of blessings and I’m just grateful to be in such a happy space.

“What do you envision, Sabrina? This is yours and your husband’s special day and our job is to execute your ideas and visions.” Carmen and Paula opened the floor while I took a good look around.

“Corey and I both love calla lilies, freesias and orchids. Our daughter’s favorite flower is the orchid and both of our mothers love lilies and freesias. For the arrangements, we want to keep them all very uniform. I’m thinking that table one will have one arrangement of lilies, table two will be an arrangement of freesias, table three will be orchids and so on and so forth. Corey is huge on symmetry like no es gracioso.” I explained.

Paula jumped in with a great question, “perfect. We can do that. Now do you want a tall, medium or small centerpiece? Do you want the centerpieces to be the staple of the table or the cutlery, tablecloth and name cards?”

Nibbling on my bottom lip I thought about what would look best. “Damn, I don’t know. I kind of want an eye level, from seat arrangement but I think he may want something a bit larger. Can I take a rain check on that one?” Giggling nervously I threw my hair over my shoulder.

The ladies agreed jokingly. I wrapped up my meeting with them and began my third appointment with the wedding planner. Corey sent me a text to inform me that he will meet me at the next location for our appointment with the caterers. As I reached the exit I needed to take I felt my head become light and airy. My insides began to rotate and my chest broke out in a serious sweat! I pulled over on the side of the road, pushed the truck in park mode and safely hopped out of my seat. I bolted for the railing throwing up my breakfast while simultaneously clipping my hair back.

“What the fuck!?” I gasped. “Mm..” My throat feels engulfed in flames, my breasts are aching and I feel like crap. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I stood on the side of the road just staring at the aftermath of what came out of me. “I’m so confused right now.” I groaned. I allowed myself to settle for another five minutes and resumed my drive.

My phone rang, leaving me to believe Corey is freaking out about where I am. “Hello?” I answered.

“What happened? I left you like six voicemails Lori, are you okay?” He shot off.

“Umm..now I am. You won’t believe what just happened to me.” I put my signal on, fighting with the car in front of me to get into the far right lane.

“Tell me please! You have me over here worried that something happened to you.” He panicked.

“I threw up on the side of the road. That must have been when you called. I’m sorry.” Taking a deep breath I counted the minutes left until I can rinse my mouth out.

“You got sick? From what? What did you eat this morning?” He quizzed me.

Shrugging as if he could see, I turned the air conditioning down a little bit. “I have no clue from what but it’s not from oatmeal and bread. I feel like mierda and now we have to sit through at least a two hour meeting to discuss food. Food is the furthest thing from my mind.”

“Damn okay. I’m here now so I’ll see you when you get here. I love you and please be safe.” He wished upon me.

“Always. I love you too.” We ended our call and after another ten minutes of silence I pulled up to the venue. Corey is standing outside looking like he just left a meeting. Parking next to him I pulled out my roadside hygiene kit to take inside with me. Stepping out with my things I met him by the trunk of his car. I can’t kiss him with this taste in my mouth so opted to receive affection instead.

“How are you feeling? Are you alright?” He inspected me from head to toe knowing I’m just going to laugh at him going overboard. It’s like come on man, I threw up not got into a physical altercation. Still, I appreciate his concern.

Nodding I slipped my car keys into my purse. “Yeah, I’ll be alright. After I rinse my mouth out and get some water, I should be good until we get home. Ready?” We walked inside hand in hand heading straight for the dining hall. “At least it smells good.” I joked.

“Right. I’m hungry now. I want samples since Ellena demolished my breakfast with her own. Shit.” He complained. Rubbing his lower back, I walked in first to see the caterers ready to get this meeting started. “You did say noon right?” Corey spoke to them first.

Our laughter filled the room as we all greeted one another and sat down. “You guys are early which is perfect. How are you both doing?” Max flipped to a new page in his notebook while Vince and Jen handed us three menus. Time to get this meeting tackled so we can get home!

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“I have a question to ask you about the centerpieces for the reception.” Brushing through Ellena’s hair I set her brush aside to run the conditioner through her damp curls before it dries.

Looking up from his laptop Corey returned Izaiah’s notebook and workbook to him. “About the size or the decor altogether?”

“The latter. The girls asked me what we wanted but I told them I would get back with them after we talked about it. I don’t want to make any final decisions without you..” focusing back on Elle I caught her from falling to the side. Leaning forward to see if she’s asleep I smiled brightly seeing her struggling to keep her eyes open. I turned her around so she could lay on my chest comfortably. My sweet girl is so tired after her event filled day at school.

“Sleepy mama..” she mumbled softly. She wrapped her arms around my neck, pressing her cheek into my bosom.

Smiling I cupped one arm under her butt and laid my free palm on her back. “I know babe. You can rest now. The day is over.” Kissing the crown of her hair I outstretched my legs.

“Let’s go with the medium, eye-level length. Do you want any glass on the table other than the drinking glasses?” I flipped through my pictures going back to my original decor ideas. I shared my ideas with him while Elle fell into a deep slumber, snoring her heart out. We talked about our recent meeting to switch the planners until Corey left the room to put Zay to bed.

I remained snuggled up with my love bug flipping through my wedding plans album. As soon as Corey re-emerges I need to haul ass to the bathroom. I feel sick again! I had to wait for him to get comfortable before placing Elle in his lap. Racing to the toilet I clutched the countertop, emptying myself clean.

“Mama is okay, baby.” I heard Corey soothe Elle who clearly woke up because her position was shifted.

“Where’s mommy?” Ellena cried. “Does she not feel good?” She cried again.

“No mamá doesn’t feel good but she’s alright. It’s okay baby, tranquila por favor..” Corey distracted her some kind of way leaving me alone to get this bile out of my system.

Wiping my tears I stared at the clock on the wall having flashbacks of when I was in denial about being pregnant with Elle. I think we are about to be pregnant with baby number three. It wouldn’t be much of a shock since we have raw sex on a healthy, consistent basis. I haven’t been on birth control since my sophomore year in college and condoms are annoying. Corey’s pull out game is great but with me, that technique is nonexistent. I have no complaints with our reckless sex life or our lack of contraceptive use but facts are facts.

“Baby..you okay in there?” Corey called on me.

“Yeah, just a minute.” Standing up I flushed and cleaned the toilet. I brushed my teeth and drank some water until I felt the urge to urinate hit me. Ripping the packaging open I took a pregnancy test wanting answers ASAP. Once I finished up I cleaned my hands and set the test aside, heading to set a timer on my phone. “I took a pregnancy test.” I blurred out.

Corey locked eyes with me in surprise, smiling brighter and brighter as the seconds passed. “Bull..” he grinned.

“It’s on the sink right now, I swear. I’ve gotten sick twice in one day so I think I made the right move. Why are you smiling so big? Are you happy about this?” I couldn’t resist matching his expression.

“I am. I don’t have any reason to be scared. Are you?” Corey stretched out, reaching for his phone.

Pacing the room I dabbled in my feelings, not sure what I feel about possibly being pregnant again. I’m not mad but I will be a little surprised. “I wouldn’t say scared but more so in disbelief. If the test is positive then I know I’ll be happy eventually. It took me a while to accept being pregnant the second time around and I’ll be alright this time.” My timer went off and I froze. “Okay I'm scared now.” Cupping my mouth I stared at him only to blush and grow nervous just seeing him smile.

“I’ll sit here and wait for you to come out so I don’t make you even more nervous.” He suggested coolly.

“No, please come with me. I might faint if I go in there alone.” I urged him to check the results with me and he happily complied. With our little girl sound asleep in his arms I have to control myself and not scream. “Ready?” I looked up to find him watching me.

“Always.” His secure, proud smile eased my nerves about the moment to come. This is another major blessing that is seconds away from being real. He stood by the door while I walked over to the sink. Taking a cautious breather I turned the test over feeling my legs weaken. My eyes filled with tears on cue not able to look him in the eye. “Let me see.” He chuckled. Picking up the test I turned around and showed him up close. “No way..baby number three? This is amazing. We’re gonna have a whole team before we know it.” He teased.

As much as I’m crying from joy I burst into laughter because he’s so damn silly. “I’m too old for this..” I gasped. “Ay Dios mío this is crazy.” Throwing my arms around him and Elle I kissed her chubby cheek. My gut filled itself with butterflies and my skin broke out in goosebumps over this beautiful news we just received.

“You’re in great health, the baby will be just fine. I love you and I thank you for being the best mother to our children. Look at me..” he insisted. “You got this, we’ve got this. Everything will be alright. Right?” Nodding in agreement I rubbed his back in circles. “So is this the last one?”

“Absolutamente. If we were ten years younger then maybe we could try for a fourth but no papa this will be our last. Are you really happy or are you just claiming to be so I don’t freak out right now?” Searching his eyes for the answers I captured his lips needing a little more intimacy.

“Over the moon. Let me put her to bed, I’ll be right back.” Corey’s exit granted me the space and freedom to let this baby news marinate a little longer.

Lifting my shirt I squealed at the sight before me. This baby bump is the same size and shape that I had with Elle in the beginning. “Oh wow, deja vu! Welcome home bebecito, we are so happy and blessed to have you.” Clearly just like the last time I’m further along than I expected. Our lives are really about to change for the better yet again. Selfishly I do wish we were ten years younger so we can keep making such beautiful babies. But our life setup is special and near and dear to my heart so I don’t need to complain. Corey returned to join me in the bathroom and just like that a light bulb came on. “Corey..” I said with a deep frown.

“What is it? Why do you look so sad?” He panicked.

“We’re going to be sixty years old when this baby turns eighteen! Sixty and eighteen! What the hell are we doing? We’re setting our kids up for failure. I feel selfish now.” This knee jerk reaction to sob washed over me as I envisioned us being legally classified as senior citizens when our youngest child will be graduating from high school. “Corey, this is not fair!” I wept taking a seat on the floor. “This is not fair..” my heart is breaking right now over the reality we’re facing.

Corey knelt in front of me, seeming to match my sadness to a small degree. “Baby, I understand where you’re coming from. I have been aware of the age gaps between us and the kids this entire time. Does it get to me? Yeah sometimes it does but they’re here and we have to enjoy them while we’re still here.” He preached.

“Yo se pero..” sniffling and wiping under my eyes I tried pulling myself back together. “Just thinking about our babies being fresh into adulthood and us being at the age where we most older people are grandparents..is crazy. I don’t want the kids to wake up one day and realize we may miss some of the biggest moments of their lives.”

“Come on Lori, you know this is the tough part of being a human. Yes, the reality of our age and having a third baby right now is not ideal but I’m okay with it. For the record, I am not just saying that just because I don’t have to carry this baby either. I’m telling you because you know I’m always here to support you and take on all the stress so you don’t have to. Tell me now if you don’t want to go through with this again. I’m happy with the two babies we have now, truly but I want to know where you stand. This is your body and you have the final say so.” He advised sharply.

Breaking my moment of wallowing I disagreed to the unspoken offer on the table. “No. I’m not getting rid of our baby. Absolutely not. I’m saddened by my deepest fears but not enough to make such a decision that I have no right to. Not to mention that would drive a wedge between us and I would never want that. God granted us with the ability to reproduce easily, I will not take advantage of it.” Shaking away all thoughts of an abortion I dried my tears and accepted Corey’s assistance in standing. Turning

around to face the mirror I composed myself entirely to study my body again.

Corey also set his sights on my torso. As I turned, twisted, flexed and relaxed my core I mentally instructed myself not to lose it again.

“Last chance Mrs. Howard, do you really want this? Are you okay with being pregnant again for the last time?” Corey stood behind me, reaching for my hands.

“Yes, I am. I’m sorry for overreacting.” Blending our fingers together I studied his shoulders, feeling my spirit lighten as he shed the tension in his stance.

“It’s okay, you have every right to express how you feel. I just hope that after today you don’t travel back down this road. This being our last I want you to enjoy this experience to the full extent if possible.” I know Corey is just coming from a good place with his concerns and I feel bad now for how I reacted.

Throwing myself into him with a warm hug I laid my head upon his chest. I wandered my hands up to his neck, meddling in his hair. Caressing the area I met his eyes in the mirror. “I want this baby as much as I wanted Izaiah and Elle. The worries about our age gap will forever be a thought in the back of my mind, honey. I’ve spoken on it so it’s not going anywhere. That doesn’t mean I am any less excited. This baby is a blessing and I’m content with it. I promise you have nothing to fear.” I assured him.

We traveled to bed with our conversation, setting up our schedule for the rest of the week. Secretly I do worry if this pregnancy will be safe for me and for this baby. I’m forty-two years old pregnant with my third child, already a mom to a six and eleven year old. Tomorrow I plan on making an appointment to see my doctor to discuss with her the pros and cons of carrying a baby at my age. There’s no doubt that each child is a gift from God but at what expense?

#themarchblessing #short story

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