#Matt is so fucking jealous lmao

[mushroom-for-art]

I am controlled by the movie au I swear XD sorry @oogaboogaspookyman I made ur monochrome boi a shy nervie boi (I nearly tried to at monochrome bastard there before going wait no XD that's wrong) Meanwhile May is big autistic.

Date?

The monochrome Mewtwo stood uncertainly at the door of his coworkers trailer, he didn't know why he was so nervous I mean he'd come here plenty of times before to fetch her for scenes, just to hang out and have their treat girl nights, to work out revenge plans, to watch movies together I mean it was fine he'd done this before he could do it again.

He raised his hand to knock before pulling it away pacing outside the front of her door, but this time it was different. It wasn't like a hang out, this time, well, he had romantic intentions. He wondered if he should not do it this way, just slip her a note discreetly, who was he to encroach on her personal space with his heart in his hand so to speak. That's not fair to her! And he didn't even know if she liked him, she was very confusing after all. She did like men supposedly and she wasn't as playful or jokey with any other male coworkers.

His heart fluttered thinking about how she leans into him when they walk together brushing against him, how she'd hold his arm though sometimes to menace him and make his life difficult. How she would grab his hands during behind the scenes movie interviews and wave their hands about, how when she laughs she leans into him hiding her face in him as she giggled and snorted. Or how when previewing their latest horror movie together she curled up into his side feeling comforted and safe squeezed against him while also asking what was happening despite being petrified of horrors, was a bit silly in a charming way, played a lead role in a horror movie and yet couldn't actually watch the actual horror.

He took a deep breath in and exhaled slowly, he did like her, she was exciting and charming and a breathtakingly refreshing change to the usual misery of show business. He sighed shortly, shaking off his hands and moved back to her door knocking softly.

"One momentooo~" Her singsong voice came as he heard her shuffle about towards the door, the lock clicked and opened and, her face was bright purple covered in some sort of spa mask, fuck, she must have been having a relax day with Matt, shit fuck stupid. He froze up as he stared at her as she looked back taking a moment to look confused before beaming at him.

"Hey! We were just doing face masks! Do you wanna join?!" Her tone was excited and easy and it breathed air back into his lungs as his shoulders relaxed.

"Um, I'd love to but I'm afraid I can't stay, May, I, was wondering if you'd. Well you can say no of course but it'd be nice if you'd like to accompany me tomorrow, I'd, like to go out together somewhere."

May blinked at him and smiled saying, "like out to town? You read my mind, I've been getting bored of being stuffed in here with movie scenes."

"Hey can I come?" Matt hollered from somewhere in the trailer, "oh that'd be so fun us three all going out together." She was beaming, smiling in excitement. He bit his inner lip, save her happiness and lose the date or save date and ruin her joy? God he hated these textbook drama misunderstandings, and he knew she did too. He debated, sighing softly.

"Well, um."

He struggled, why did he even start the sentence when he should've said yes. May seemed to notice his hesitation stepping down the step from her trailer door saying gently to him, "is that okay?" He met her eye and looked away.

"I, was kind of, I was hoping. Sorry let me start over, um."

He tried to think of a way of saying he wanted it to be a date with just them two without sounding like a jerk, he had no issue with Matt he just, didn't want him there. Like at all. He swallowed his concern knowing getting it out was the best course of action and he can deal with the fall out then before he lost his nerve and ended up missing his chance.

"A date. I was. Would you like, to go out together on a date, uh just us two, no Matt."

May blinked again, seeming surprised and he was ready for the earth to swallow him up whole.

"GOD DAMN MOTHER FUCKING BITCH!" Matts voice could be heard yelling from the inside, "YOU CUNT." May laughed awkwardly softly saying "uh I should, check with the council." He could feel his face heating up in embarrassment ready to just leave when she went inside, she touched his arm softly as she turned giving him a smile and gently squeezing his arm, "but, I think a date would be nice," her smile was genuine he could tell, she always bit her bottom lip showing parts of her front teeth in her bashful genuine smile. She let go of his arm stepping up into the trailer.

"WHAT THE FUCKS YOUR PROBLEM MATTY LAD?!" She unceremoniously yelled back at her brother. "YOU FUCKING KNOW WHAT YOU CRUSH STEALING LEMON WHORE! UNFUCKING BELIEVABLE. YOU BETTER SAY YES SINCE CLEARLY /I'M/ NOT GETTING ANY OF THAT!!"

May rolled her eyes backwards tilting her head back and smiling at monochrome before leaning back in to shout, "I WOULD IF YOU GAVE ME A FUCKING CHANCE SO SHUT YOUR FUCKING YAP!" She leant back away standing in the door frame before playfully jumping down the steps to be stood in front of monochrome once more who smiled shyly. "Council says it should be fine, my manager can go suck an egg if she wants me." Giving him a bold grin as he snorted softly, somewhat embarrassed and shy now he'd gone and done it and successfully bagged a date.

"Well! I will, come collect you tomorrow, uh early, does 8 sound good?"

She smiled and nodded saying "8 sounds fine, gives us the whoooole day together." He smiled bashfully at the thought as she held his hands and playfully leant back using him as support to emphasize her speaking, he could tell she was somewhat deflecting through humorous actions but he figured she may have just been shy, the wagging of her tail confirming his internal suspicions.

"I'll let you enjoy your night then, and I'll come here to collect you tomorrow for our date."

It sounded strange saying those words but it also felt weirdly nice. She smiled as she stood properly still holding his hands, tail still wagging. "Yea, yea, I, I'm excited for it, guess I'll take this time to pamper myself up all prutty for you." Her tone was genuine before falling into shy humor as she squeezed his hands fidgeting slightly with nerves and energy. He smiled softly bring her hands up to his mouth kissing her knuckles softly.

"You're already prutty, even with a bright purple face, but I'll bid you goodnight."

He could see her tail wagging furiously and in honesty he was having to concentrate quite hard to not wag his as he released her hands sensing she was getting a bit overstimulated as he bowed turned and quickly left the tip of his tail flicking rapidly like a rattlesnake.

As he walked away he heard her retreat back into her trailer, and the sound of her softly squeal screaming, hopefully in joy.

—————

"A DATE ! HE ASKED! ME! DATE! EH !" May squealed in overstimulated glee and confusion bouncing on the spot and flapping her arms about to get all the energy static and wiggles out of herself at the sheer, just sheerness of the situation. Matt lounged watching her with what could only be described as resting bitch face.

"I mean we're always bantering! And like! He's nice! He's always really friendly! And encouraging in scenes or how he comforts me during horror previews of our movies! And like! He's cool! Like! He's! And he's my friend, holy shit he does actually see me as a friend as well, MORE THAN in fact," she paced and did a little hop. "What the fuck?! Holy fuck, oh my god I have nothing good to wear oh christ he's gonna be so disappointed, he's gonna realise I'm a horrid little gremlin aahh shit fuck. Ah" she paced and jumped and ranted and raved, getting out her emotions and processing what happened and what it meant and what other things meant as they were processed with new context.

"Oh my god he was flirting!! Aaaah! I am fucking stupid! Fuck. OH HE PROBABLY THOUGHT I WAS FLIRTING!! Oh he's going to realize I'm so stupid and dense and crackers I dont get socializing," she wailed, waving and swaying her body before having to lie down on the floor on her back to preserve her face mask for much needed floor time as Matt continued to watch.

"Eh he's known you this long I think he realizes all this by now." Matt crunched into a pickle, "I mean he probably likes that your crackers." He nudged her lightly with his foot. "You're fine, I fucking hate you. But you're fine. I think actually this could be good for you, you haven't dated before it's a good-"

"OH GOD I'VE NEVER DATED BEFOREEEEEE!!!" May wailed from the floor as Matts expression fell flat.

"God you're fucking useless."

[m1ckeyb3rry]

Synopsis: Tabito Karasu has been in love with you for almost as long as he can remember. Unfortunately, it doesn’t seem like you have any intentions of reciprocating, considering you’ve only ever seen him as a child — and, more importantly, as your best friend’s little brother.

BLLK Masterlist | Part Two | Otoya Version

Pairing: Karasu x Reader

Total Word Count: 41.6k

Content Warnings: reader is older than karasu (by like two years so it’s nbd but it exists), no blue lock au, bratty baby karasu, jealous karasu, slow burn, childhood friends, i have no idea how to write kids just deal w it, karasu’s older sister is given a name (look at that word count LMAO i’m not calling her ‘karasu’s older sister’ the entire time), reader gets drunk at one point, karasu the goat of pining, yukimiya and otoya mentions ⁉️

A/N: yes this is inspired by the song “best friend’s brother” from victorious but has barely anything to do with it. yes this is probably the longest karasu fic you will ever read as of its publishing date (word count is not a typo it fr is that long). yes reader and karasu are fuck ass little kids for half of the fic. i have nothing to say for myself except that i love karasu so much and i cannot be stopped…also tumblr is an opp so i had to split this into two parts EEK i’m sorry!!

In a sea of bright, patterned umbrellas, only one was dark and plain. It was wide, the practical sort, all but dwarfing the girl who held it as she hurried along to the covered entrance of the school, her shoulders hunched against the wind and her steps brisk. You thought that she seemed small for your age, like a particularly strong breeze might blow her away entirely, and strangely gloomy, though this might’ve been an effect of the weather and not her personality.

Your own umbrella was cheery, a pink-striped thing that announced its presence in a most domineering way and clashed with the shades of orange and teal and green around it. You had found it pretty when your parents had given it to you, but now you were much more taken with the sole matte black one that wove in and out of the crowd, the clear raindrops resting on it like diamonds.

By the time you were past the cherry trees lining the parking lot, you had lost the girl and her black umbrella alike. It should’ve been impossible, considering what an anomaly it was, but then again that color was like a shadow, blending in unless one looked for it very carefully, and sometimes even then.

You would’ve worried, but you had bigger problems to be preoccupied with — namely, it was your first day of elementary school, and you had no idea what to expect. Setting the girl out of your mind, you used your free hand to fiddle with the name tag on your breast pocket, ducking under the roof before closing your umbrella and shaking the excess water off of it. Then you scurried after an older student who seemed like they knew where they were going, following them until you found yourself in a corridor you recognized from the tour you had taken with your parents prior to the start of the year.

In the classroom, there was a shelf where you could put your wet umbrellas in neat rows. You didn’t see any rhyme or reason to how they had been arranged, except that everyone had avoided putting theirs beside the dull, dark umbrella that you had admired. Glancing around at the rest of your classmates, who had already grouped themselves into loose clusters based on their seats, you set your umbrella beside the black one. For some reason, the pink stripes at that angle resembled frowns; you found it suitable, then, that those two were the only ones on that shelf. They seemed to go together, depressed and angry in turn.

Although you had not seen the girl’s face, you recognized her immediately. She sat apart from everyone else, her spindly limbs held close to her body, her heart-shaped face dominated by a pair of sapphire eyes, hair like an oil spill pulled into a high ponytail that cascaded down her back like tail-feathers. At first glance, she was unassuming, and at second she was entirely off-putting, but you were contrarian enough to take a third, and it was only then that you realized she was actually magnetic in a way, her lips pulled into a serene smile, her irises lively and brows high with interest.

“Hello,” you said, taking the seat beside her. “I’m Y/N L/N.”

It was the radical thing, what you had done in willingly isolating yourself from the others, but you found that you had no interest in those shallow peers of yours, who had not bothered to look at a person three times and see the truth of their being. This girl, with her black umbrella and her keen gaze and her bird-like countenance, was the only one in the entire room you wanted to befriend.

“Are you talking to me?” she said. Her accent was more pronounced than yours, which resembled the one of your Tokyo-born parents’ far more than it did the rougher cadences that most people in the region spoke with. The boisterousness of her voice contrasted sharply with her frail appearance, though to charming effect, and it warmed you to her even more.

“Uh-huh,” you said. “It’s nice to meet you. What’s your name?”

“Karasu,” she said. “Yayoi Karasu. Good to meet you, too, L/N.”

Karasu. She was a crow, and as pretty and sharp as one, too. It was more fitting of a name than it ought to be, and you nodded, because your childish mind liked when things made sense, could be categorized into labeled boxes. Black umbrella. Blue eyes. Crow-wing hair. Yayoi Karasu.

“Let’s be friends,” you said, and maybe it was a blunt, straightforward request, but she did not seem to mind it.

“You want to be friends with me?” she said.

“Why wouldn’t I?” you said. She shrugged, bony shoulders brushing against her earlobes from the jerky motion.

“Don’t know. Just doesn’t seem like the others want to,” she said.

“The others are stupid. They’ll feel bad about it later, but by then we won’t need them,” you said.

“Okay,” she said. “Let’s be friends, L/N.”

“If we’re friends, then you can call me Y/N,” you said.

She grinned, wide and gleaming. “Only if you call me Yayoi. Just Yayoi.”

When you got home that night, the first thing you did was race to the living room, where your mother was sitting, knitting needles stationary in her hands as she watched a drama.

“Mama!” you said, jumping onto the sofa beside her, tugging on her sleeve until she paused her show and looked at you. “Mama, I made a friend today.”

“Did you? How exciting! What’s their name?” she said.

“Yayoi Karasu, but she said I can just say Yayoi ’cause we’re friends,” you said.

“That’s wonderful,” your mother said. “Do you want to have Yayoi over sometime?”

“Hm, yes, I think so,” you said, already envisioning how fun it would be to play with her outside of school. You supposed you didn’t know much about what she liked to do, but you doubted it was anything you wouldn’t also enjoy, so there wouldn’t be a problem. There couldn’t be — the two of you were friends, and there were never problems between friends.

Within two weeks came an invitation, made before you could extend your own. The Karasu family wanted you to come over, and though your parents wished they had asked first, they did not mind that you were going, especially considering how elated you were when you relayed the news.

It was a short walk to Yayoi’s house, or perhaps it was that you were so excited which shortened the distance; either way, it hardly took any time at all before you and your mother were at their doorstep. You hid behind her leg when she knocked, suddenly timid, although you had no reason to be.

The woman who answered the door resembled Yayoi greatly, though she was fuller and taller and exuded an air of great confidence. She could only be Yayoi’s mother, and you wondered if this was the kind of person Yayoi would grow up to be.

“Are you Mrs. Karasu?” your mother said. The woman nodded, gesturing you into the home invitingly.

“Yes! You must be Mrs. L/N — Y/N’s mother?” she said.

“That’s right. Y/N, please say hello to Mrs. Karasu,” your mother said.

“Hello, Mrs. Karasu,” you said, your voice catching in the back of your throat. She had the same voice as Yayoi, the same exuberance to her words and geniality to her tone, but coming from her, it was almost intimidating.

“Yayoi should be in the playroom — down that hallway, the first door on your left. I’m surprised she didn’t come to the door to greet you; your visit is all she’s been able to talk about for the entire week,” Mrs. Karasu said.

“Y/N, too,” your mother said affectionately. You left them to speak in the kitchen, darting in the direction Mrs. Karasu had indicated, ducking into an appealingly decorated playroom.

The walls were painted pale yellow, and there were colorful bins stacked in the corners, labels written on them in black marker which detailed what their contents were. There was no sign of Yayoi, but in the center of the room, surrounded by a rainbow of blocks, was a little boy holding a model train in his hands.

He had the same hair as Yayoi, though while hers was sleek and flat, his stuck up every which way, a bitter warning to those who might’ve tried to tame it. His cheeks were rounder than hers, and his eyes were darker, the same deep shade as mulberry stains, but there was undeniably a resemblance between the two.

Though he was quite taken by the train he was playing with, he looked up when you opened the door to the room, and then he cocked his head, thick eyebrows drawing together in confusion.

“Do you know where Yayoi is?” you tried, hoping he could understand you. He was obviously younger than you and Yayoi, though you were unsure by how much — a year? Two?

“Ya-yi?” he repeated, stumbling over her name endearingly.

“Yes, Yayoi,” you said. “Where is she?”

He hummed in a whimsical way which clearly meant he had no clue, and then he raised his hand with the toy in it, beaming at you.

“D’you like my train?” he said.

“Yeah, it’s a cool color,” you said, not wanting to hurt his feelings. As an only child, this sort of interaction was out of your realm of expertise, but for some reason, you had an urge to try your best.

“My favorite,” he said. “Light blue.”

“That’s a good favorite,” you said. “So. Are you Yayoi’s little brother?”

“Yes,” he said enthusiastically. “I’m Tabito. Who are you? Ya-yi’s friend?”

“I’m Y/N,” you said. “Yayoi’s friend from school.”

“Y/N!” he said, like your name was the greatest word he had ever learned. “Let’s play trains! Can you play trains with me? Can we please play trains?”

You frowned. You needed to find Yayoi, but it wasn’t like you could wander around their house aimlessly, and Mrs. Karasu knew you were in the playroom, so your best course of action was staying put until your friend found you. Then, if that was the case, there was really no harm in obliging him, even if you weren’t an avid train enthusiast.

“Sure, alright,” you said, sitting down across from him and holding your hand out. “Give me one.”

He blinked at you. “Get your own.”

“I don’t know where you keep them, so I can’t,” you said.

“Then, um, then you can build, okay?” he said, piling blocks into your waiting hands. “Make a bridge. Do you know what a bridge is?”

“Yes?” you said. He seemed delighted by this, his entire face glowing from the simple affirmation; eager to keep his spirits high, you pointed at a point on the carpet. “Can I build it here?”

“Um…okay,” he said. It didn’t seem like he was particularly keen on the notion, but you were out of ideas at that point, so you just shrugged and began to stack the blocks into something resembling the bridges you had driven past on trips to your grandparents’ respective homes in Tokyo.

Tabito was too busy rolling the trains around the playroom to supervise your attempts at construction, so you were left to your own devices, designing it in the way you saw fit. Right when you had deemed the structure finished and turned to ask him if he liked it, the door to the playroom slammed open and Yayoi bounced in, hugging a hamper to her chest.

“Y/N! I’m sorry, I went to get all of my toys from my room, but then I had to go to the bathroom, so that’s why I’m late,” she said.

“It’s okay,” you said.

“Ya-yi!” Tabito said. “You’re playing with your upstairs toys? Can I also?”

“No way!” Yayoi said, hiding the hamper behind her. “Go somewhere else and leave Y/N and I alone!”

His lower lip trembled, and then, though he had been so happy only moments earlier, he broke into wailing sobs, causing Yayoi to groan and face-palm. Within seconds, Mrs. Karasu had burst into the room, looking around and only calming when she realized you were all alright, or at the least uninjured.

“What’s the matter?” she said.

“I told Tabito to leave Y/N and I alone and he just started crying!” Yayoi said.

“You should be nicer to your younger brother,” her mother reprimanded her, hands on her hips. “He’s still little. It’s up to you to be the bigger person in these kinds of disagreements.”

“I don’t wanna! He’s annoying! Can’t you take him away? We want to play with our toys now!” Yayoi said.

Tabito cried harder at this, hiccuping as Mrs. Karasu swept him into her arms with a sigh.

“Now, now, Tabito, don’t be upset,” she said, using her sleeve to wipe his teary cheeks. “Let’s go watch TV and let your sister play with her friend.”

“Okay!” he said, the tantrum dissipating as quickly as it had come. He rested his chin on his mother’s shoulder, waving a small hand at you as he and Mrs. Karasu rounded the corner, leaving you and Yayoi to play on your own.

“Finally,” Yayoi said. “Little brothers are the worst.”

“He made me build a bridge for his trains,” you said, pointing at your attempt at architecture. Yayoi giggled.

“That looks nothing like a bridge,” she said.

“I did my best,” you said. “How old is he?”

“He’s four,” she said. “And a total pain.”

“Really?” you said. Setting aside the fit he had had when Yayoi had demanded he leave, he hadn’t seemed like anything but a typical and cute little kid.

“You don’t get it because you don’t have to live with him, but he’s the worst,” she said. “And my mom always takes his side, too! It’s super unfair.”

“I’m sorry,” you said.

“Don’t you have any siblings?” she said.

“No, I’m an only child,” you said.

“Ah, that makes sense,” she said. “Anyways. Sorry you had to play with him.”

“It wasn’t that bad,” you said. “I didn’t mind.”

“Huh. Whatever; do you want to see my favorite stuffed animals?” she said.

“Sure!” you said. She dumped the contents of the hamper on the floor, and thus began your playdate, which mostly consisted of her introducing her toys to you and you clapping appropriately.

You were fairly certain Yayoi was a good friend — in fact, you supposed you could even call her your best friend, though you didn’t have many others who could’ve taken the position, so it was as much by default as it was out of any perceived loyalty. Even still, it was true that she was someone you were genuinely fond of, and who was genuinely fond of you in return, so the title was earned and not just awarded at random.

It was nice being with Yayoi. As you came to learn, she was more practical than gloomy and more shy than off-putting. Once those initial guards came down, she was as affable as anyone, or maybe even more so. Your prediction came true in another sense; now that your classmates, too, saw the truth of yours and Yayoi’s personalities, they began to seek you out in droves, trying to befriend you both, to bring you into their folds and mix you into their exclusive groups.

The two of you entertained these attempts, of course — neither of you were loners at heart, and indeed felt quite at ease amidst throngs of people — but in the end, you never strayed far from each other. It was a known fact that you and her were best friends, that where one of you went, the other would not be far behind, and so your peers quickly decided to go for a sort of joint-befriending strategy.

“L/N, Karasu, do you guys want to come to the park with us this weekend? My mom’s bringing snacks and stuff,” one of your classmates asked you. You had advanced a grade since you had all met for the first time, so in theory all of you had known one another for at least a year at this point, but all you could recall of the short, stocky boy was that his name was something like Akamine or Arakawa.

Typically, Yayoi would glance at you for confirmation, but today she rapidly nodded her head at the boy. Akamine? Arakawa? You wished that he would introduce himself so you were spared the embarrassment of asking.

“We’d love to, Aoyama. Thank you for inviting us,” she said. Aoyama. You had been astoundingly off the mark; silently thanking Yayoi, who had no doubt picked up on your struggle if not your distaste, you grunted.

“Sure,” you said. You had no great desire to go, not when this Saturday was supposed to be the first fair day after a week of rain. You’d rather spend it doing something of your own choosing, not playing in a park with people you hardly knew. But Yayoi was going, so you would, too, dutifully and without much complaint. “Though we’ll have to ask our parents first.”

It was just a formality. Neither Yayoi’s parents nor yours ever denied you from frolicking about with your school-friends, as long as you had done everything you needed to at home. In Yayoi’s case, it was that they were happy that she was coming out of her shell so rapidly, and for you, it was because your parents found it difficult to say no to you when you were their only and most beloved child.

As your mother’s weather app had predicted, there was sunlight on Saturday — gray and watery, to be sure, but it held fast in its patch of sky, its small corner of periwinkle which contrasted with the silvery lavender of the looming thunderheads threatening another storm in the near future.

You arrived at the park before Yayoi, and so you pretended to be famished, looking through the snacks that Aoyama’s mother had brought while you waited for her to come.

When she did, it was with an expression not too dissimilar to the clouds on the horizon on her face and a set of small fingers squeezed in between hers, their owner struggling to keep up with her furious, stomping pace.

“You brought Tabito?” you said when she reached where you were waiting. Her younger brother stood at her side, wearing a dark blue raincoat and a pair of black mittens, though it wasn’t that cold out. Someone — you could only assume his mother — had attempted to comb his hair back into something resembling a neat style, but they had mostly been unsuccessful, for it had not been tamed any.

“It wasn’t my choice,” Yayoi said, shooting the oblivious boy a dark glare. “My mom made me. According to her, it’s good for siblings to play together.”

“Look, Y/N,” Tabito said, pulling on your sleeve to get your attention and then opening his mouth wide, revealing a gaping hole in the row of his pearly upper teeth. “I lost my first tooth!”

“Did you throw it in the air?” you said.

“Of course,” he said, very self-importantly and more than a little derisively, as if you had been a fool to suggest otherwise.

“Good job,” you said. He was in his last year of kindergarten, and so he would soon join you and Yayoi at your school, which meant he was eager to learn everything he could from you in order to prepare for the momentous leap. This meant that there was not a person in the world who was a better listener than him; given, of course, that one was prepared to entertain his multitude of questions and did not find the curiosity to be a nuisance.

“Yayoi, can we go on the swings?” he said. He had, in the time you had known the two of them, accustomed himself to saying her name properly, though this was only a small consolation to the irritable Yayoi, who would rather he not say her name at all.

“Maybe later,” she said. “Right now, Y/N and I are going to play with our friends, but after that, we can go on the swings, okay? You just sit here and don’t get into trouble for a bit.”

For a moment, it seemed like he would argue, but around Tabito, Yayoi became a much bossier and more tyrannical version of herself, a version whose commands were impossible to deny, and so he only nodded.

“Come back quickly so we can swing,” he said beseechingly. Yayoi ruffled his hair, undoing her mother’s efforts entirely, and then she jutted her chin out in the direction of your classmates.

“We’ll be back before you know it,” she said.

“Do you think he’ll be okay if we just leave him there?” you said as you both walked towards where everyone was gathering on the slides.

“Yes, it’s not an issue,” she said. “He’ll be mopey for a bit, but that’s just the way of things. It’s his fault for getting upset when I said he couldn’t come with me and involving our mom in it! If he wanted to swing, he should’ve just waited until tomorrow when I said the two of us could go by ourselves instead of insisting he wanted to come today and see all of my friends.”

“Aw,” you said. “It’s kind of sweet that he wanted to meet your friends.”

“Try stupid,” she said. “Do you think any of them, besides you, will really be nice to him? It would’ve been better if he just stayed at home, but I didn’t want my mom to get mad at me.”

“That’s true,” you said. “Well, you would know better, so don’t take me too seriously.”

“I wish we could swap places,” she said. “I’d love to be an only child, and obviously you want a younger brother, so it would make everyone happy if we could trade roles, don’t you think?”

“You’d be sad if you didn’t have a sibling,” you said. “It’s a little bit lonely sometimes.”

“Seriously, you can have Tabito if you want,” she scoffed. “You’ll change your mind soon enough.”

She got carried away in a conversation with Aoyama after that. He was only too happy to oblige, although a needling sensation on the back of your neck alerted you to the fact that he was gazing at you all the while. You paid him no mind, though, preferring to observe everyone as they mingled about, waiting to see if anyone you could manage to tolerate would manifest.

Aoyama and his ilk were the sort of boneheaded future sports players that you least preferred. Normally, you were more outgoing than this, but in a group where you were so glaringly out of place, you withdrew into yourself, shrinking like a violet away from their brashness, which lacked a necessary amiability that would’ve made them far more approachable.

At one point, in an attempt to avoid Aoyama and his frequent stares, you glanced over your shoulder, pretending like you were checking on Tabito out of some sisterly duty. As an extension of Yayoi, it only made sense that you’d feel that same protective instinct for him, so no one questioned it when you muttered a quick farewell and made a beeline for where he was sitting.

Somehow, he had managed to stay in one place on the bench, his hands folded in his lap and his legs kicking in the air as he looked out at Yayoi forlornly. For some reason, he reminded you of a kitten which had been abandoned by its owner, so you stopped before him and poked him on the forehead to get his attention.

“Tabito,” you said. “Do you still want to go on the swings?”

“Yeah,” he said. “Is Yayoi coming?”

“Not yet,” you said. “But we can go together if you want.”

“You don’t want to play with your friends?” he said, hopping down from the bench and following you towards the swings anyways.

“Not really,” you said. “I’m only close with Yayoi anyways, and she’s busy with Aoyama at the moment.”

“Oh,” he said. It was an utterance filled with wisdom, or maybe that was just the impression he was trying to give off. Yet you earnestly believed at that moment that, despite his age, he understood what you meant when you said that, so you chose to think that it was the former.

“Do you need help getting on the swing?” you said when you reached the swing set.

“No, I can do it!” he said. “Watch, watch!”

He executed an inexplicable series of maneuvers that you could neither replicate nor even fathom, but somehow it ended up with him sitting squarely on the swing, his pale-knuckled hands gripping the chains tightly.

“Wow,” you said. “That was cool. Are you ready?”

“Yup!” he said. You pushed his back lightly, sending him soaring into the air, and the two of you continued in that manner for a while. It was meditative in a way; your mind was blank and the world was silent, save for the whistling of the wind. You didn’t have to care about what your annoying classmates would say next, or whether they were named Akamine or Arakawa or Aoyama or whatever.

If Tabito was your little brother, you’d take him to the playground every single day, and you’d push him on the swing for as long as he wanted. You were overcome with a sickening wave of jealousy for Yayoi, who could’ve done that but never did, and you wondered if this was how she felt towards you. Was it really that no one could ever just be satisfied with what they had? If you had been born with a sibling, would you have detested them as surely as Yayoi did Tabito?

There was another roll of thunder, louder and nearer this time than the last. A fat droplet of rain landed on your nose, and when Tabito next came closer to you, you caught him so that he would stop.

“What happened?” he said. “I want to keep swinging.”

“It looks like it’s about to start raining earlier than we thought,” you said. There was another droplet of rain, and then another, and another, in quicker and quicker succession until there was a verifiable deluge coming down. Tabito slid off of the swing, his left hand in your right as he pulled the hood of his raincoat up.

“Tabito!” It was Yayoi, running towards you and shouting frantically. “Y/N!”

“Yayoi, we should go!” you said as she skidded to a stop in the mulch bed of the swing set. She nodded, her eyelashes already clumping together, water trickling down her forehead. Grabbing Tabito’s other hand, she used her arm to cover her head, and you mirrored her actions, though it didn’t do much in the way of keeping you dry.

“My house is closer!” she shouted over another crack of thunder. All of you took off at a sprint, splashing through rapidly forming puddles without abandon as you raced towards her house, dragging Tabito along with you.

There was a sort of euphoria to it, and indeed you were all laughing as you went, despite the terror you felt with every new stroke of lightning. Tabito made sure to bring down his feet extra hard in the puddles, much to yours and Yayoi’s collective chagrin, as you were continuously sprayed with mud from his actions, but it was hard to tell him to stop when he was enjoying himself so thoroughly.

The three of you collapsed in the Karasus’ foyer right before the drumming beat of the rain increased even more, locking the door behind you and gasping for breath as you recovered from the exhausting run, Tabito sprawled atop Yayoi and your head leaning against her shoulder.

“I’m glad we’re all alright,” Yayoi said, hugging her brother tightly. He squirmed in her embrace, which only prompted her to squeeze him tighter until he yelled in protest.

“You three are a mess!” Mrs. Karasu said. Either the shutting of the door or Tabito’s shout had summoned her; regardless, she looked down at the set of you in fond disapproval, tugging you all to your feet. “By the time I’m done calling Y/N’s parents and letting them know where she is, I expect all of you to be washed up and in fresh clothes!”

You all exchanged glances before running up the stairs, shoving each other out of the way as you went, none of you wanting to be the last one to follow her directives, leaving behind wet footprints on the carpet wherever you stepped.

The next year, Tabito started primary school. For the most part, he walked to and from the building with you and Yayoi, holding onto his sister’s hand and listening to your conversations, frequently peppering his own interjections in. Every Wednesday, though, Yayoi had badminton club meetings, and you had art club, so he was left to walk by himself. Conversely, on Thursdays, he had soccer club — he was one of the youngest members, but he had been playing for two years at that point and could not fathom not joining the school team — which meant that you and Yayoi could dawdle as you wanted, walking at your own paces instead of the erratic one that Tabito often set.

That Wednesday, you were approached by Aoyama, who was a fellow member of the art club. He had neither the skill nor the aptitude for it, his paintings messy, the strokes of his calligraphy thick and runny, but no one could say he wasn’t determined. More than anyone in the entire club, he really tried his hardest, which was likely the sole reason he hadn’t yet been kicked out.

“Hey, L/N,” he said, jamming himself in between you and Yayoi as you walked to your afternoon classes. You sighed, having never found him agreeable despite how persistent he was. Yayoi gave him a dirty look; whatever friendliness she had had for him last year had long since vanished, replaced with the same disdain you held.

“Yes, Aoyama?” you said.

“Did you see art club’s canceled today?” he said.

“No, I didn’t. I haven’t had the chance to check the bulletin board. Did it say why?” you said.

“The teacher’s sick,” he said.

“I hope she gets better soon,” you said.

“Me, too,” he said. “I love the art club.”

“You sure do,” Yayoi said under her breath, earning an appreciative snicker from you and a perplexed look from Aoyama. She was privy to everything that happened in the art club courtesy of you; in exchange, she kept you updated about the goings-on of the badminton club, though these stories were decidedly less amusing, owing to the fact that most of the badminton club members were too dedicated to the sport to waste time with anything foolish enough to be entertaining.

Aoyama was bad at telling when he was unwanted, but even he could not deny that his presence was not required, and furthermore was an active impediment to your day. With a mumbled goodbye, he sped up so that he could reach your classroom before you and Yayoi, finally leaving you be once more.

“He’s so weird,” you said.

“Right?” Yayoi said. “Totally crazy. At least he was kind of helpful this time and only let you know that you don’t have art club today.”

“True, I was kind of scared he’d try to invite us to hang out with him again,” you said with a shudder. The corners of her eyes crinkled in sympathy.

“I think his birthday’s coming up. Do you think we’ll get invited to the party?” she said.

“I don’t know. Probably not. Girls and boys don’t go to each other’s birthday parties,” you said. “He might, though. It seems like he thinks we’re friends.”

“I guess we’ll see,” she said. “Are you just going to go home after school, then?”

“Yeah, it’s not like I have anything else to do,” you said. “Want me to walk with Tabito?”

“He’ll be alright if you don’t, but if you want to go that way, then it wouldn’t hurt,” she said. There were two routes you could take to get home from the school; one passed by the Karasu house, and the other was slightly shorter but in a different direction. Technically, you could’ve taken the second route today, but you didn’t mind walking for an extra minute or so to help out.

“Sure, I can do that. Do you think he’ll wait in the usual spot?” you said.

“Probably not. It’s not like he knows your meeting was canceled,” she reasoned. “But you should be able to catch up to him pretty quickly. He’s kind of distractible.”

It was true. Though he was a quick walker, Tabito was prone to stopping and staring at things which only he noticed, so it was hard to actually get to places in a reasonable time with him. That fact, combined with your comparatively longer strides, meant that even if he didn’t explicitly wait for you, you’d almost surely be able to walk most of the way home with him.

Students rolled out like an orderly tide the moment the bell rang, a veritable ocean of pressed shirts and dark shoes and jostling bags. Without an agreed-upon meeting point, it was impossible to find a person in the throng, and indeed you did not even attempt it, merely weaving through until the crowd began to thin as everyone dispersed, heading in different directions towards their respective homes and after-school activities.

It took you longer than you expected to find Tabito. He was standing in a patch of grass along the side of the road, his chin tilted up as he stared at a bird in wonder; it was so quintessentially him that you did not realize at first that something was wrong.

“Tabito!” you said cheerfully, tapping on his shoulder to get his attention. “My art club meeting got canceled, so we can walk back — did something happen?”

The jewel-like shade of his irises threw the rosy rims around his eyes into further relief. His dark lashes were bunched together with wetness, and his cheeks were puffy. Though he fought it, his lower lip trembled, and he sniffed when he noticed you frowning.

“No,” he said.

“Obviously, something did,” you said matter-of-factly. “Why are you crying?”

“I’m not crying,” he mumbled.

“You can tell me what’s bothering you. I won’t make fun of you or anything,” you said. He shrugged stubbornly, shifting from foot to foot, gripping the straps of his backpack in his fists. You tried to think of what could’ve upset him. “Did you get yelled at in class?”

“No,” he said.

“Did you get in a fight with one of your friends?” you said.

“No,” he said.

“Hm. Has someone been messing with you?” you said. He was silent, but you knew you must’ve hit the mark because his cool facade — which was already terribly maintained in the first place — crumbled away entirely, his face falling and a small hiccup escaping him. “Oh, I see. You should’ve said something to Yayoi and I. Who is it? I'll yell at them.”

“It won’t help if you do,” he said quietly. “It’s better to just ignore them. I mean, it’s an average problem, so don’t make a big deal about it. They’ll probably go away after a while.”

“But it isn’t fair for you to have to deal with that on your own,” you said. “It’s not like it’s your fault. People like that just pick on whoever they have the chance to pick on. There’s those kinds of kids in my grade, too. Like you said, it’s common, but that doesn’t mean you have to accept it.”

“If you say something, it’ll just be worse the next time,” he said. “They’ll go away if I don’t pay attention to them. It’s not like I even care what they say. It doesn’t matter to me.”

When you pretended to look at the road, he brought up his forearm, rubbing his sleeve against his eyes in the moment where there was no one to notice. You saw it, but you did not bring it up, recognizing that it was something he’d rather not discuss.

“Alright,” you said as you set out towards his house. “If that’s what you want.”

“Yeah,” he said.

“But if you change your mind, or if you’re ever having another problem, I hope you know I don’t mind helping,” you said. “Think of me as another Yayoi.”

“You’re not like Yayoi,” he said.

“Well, no, of course not,” you said. “I can be like an older sister for you, though, the way she is. Do you get it now?”

“I don’t want you to be an older sister for me,” he said crossly, kicking a piece of stray gravel across the road. “And I won’t have any other problems.”

The only way to tame his unruly hair was with wax, which made it as stiff as a board and completely impossible for you and Yayoi to ruffle it the way you used to. You had to settle for poking him in the cheek; considering it irritated him no less, it was a worthy substitute.

“Are you trying to be all grown up just because you’re in elementary school now? You’re still a little kid, so no need to act tough,” you said.

“I’m not a little kid!” he whined.

“Sure,” you said.

“I’m not! I’m only two years younger than you, it’s not a lot!” he insisted. You grinned at him.

“It is a lot. You just started elementary school, and this is my third year here. That means I’m way more experienced than you, so you should look up to me,” you said.

He folded his arms across his chest, grumbling something to himself that he wouldn’t dare vocalize to you, all thoughts of whoever had been bothering him earlier vanished. Maybe it wasn’t the best method of cheering him up, but though his mood had not improved, at least it had changed. That was the best you could do, so as he held onto your hand while you crossed the street, you congratulated yourself on the small victory.

As Tabito continued through primary school, two things became evident: one, he was uncannily smart, his eerily observant nature lending itself to a genuine academic prowess that one could consider exceptional, and two, because of his pride in this ability, he refused to ask anyone for assistance, no matter how hard he was struggling.

“It’s so dumb,” Yayoi told you one day at recess, scrubbing at a graphite stain that someone else had left on her desk. “He’s totally lost with long division, but whenever my parents or I offer to help him, he gets super mad at us. Even my grandma tried! Although she doesn’t really remember much about mathematics, so I don’t know what the point was there…”

“He’s always been the independent type, though,” you said. “It’s not a surprise.”

“It’ll be a surprise when he does terribly on his next test,” she said. “Considering how things have been going as of late and how badly he’s been doing on his homework assignments.”

You swept stray eraser bits littering the floor into a neat pile and then gathered them in a dustpan, pouring them into the trashcan Yayoi had dragged over for your convenience, thinking this over.

“I can try helping him,” you said. “You have badminton club today, right? So it’ll just be us two walking home. I can ask him if he wants me to explain it.”

Unlike the previous year, when both of your clubs had met on the same day, Yayoi’s badminton club meetings were now held on Thursdays. This was because the previous club supervisor had stepped down, and the sole teacher willing to fill the vacancy was only free on that day.

“Good luck with that,” Yayoi said.

“Tabito’s my buddy,” you said. “I’m sure he’ll be okay with it.”

Likely due to your closeness with Yayoi — you had been each other’s best friends for going on four years now, after all — you had built up some kind of relationship with her little brother, who was usually present whenever you went to see her. Most of the time it felt like he was your sibling, too, and certainly he was one of the few kids his age that you could tolerate without looking down on too much.

“Yayoi mentioned you’ve been having some trouble with long division,” you said that afternoon. It was a pleasant day, the vast blue of the sky unmarred by clouds, except for a few which were so fleecy and eggshell-pale that almost no one could be offended by them. The season was spring, and soon it would be unbearably hot, but for now, it was lovely and breezy and you were content with things as they were.

“She’s making it up,” Tabito said.

“Really? That’s great,” you said. “I always found long division super difficult. I had to have my parents explain it to me a few times before I got it.”

He eyed you warily. “You did? I thought you were good at school. Yayoi always says you’re the smartest person in your class.”

“I don’t know about being the smartest person in the class or anything, but I’m pretty good at school, yeah,” you said. “I mean, I always get full marks on my exams, don’t I? That’s because I don’t feel shy about asking for help when I need it. Isn’t it better to deal with problems when they first happen? Because if you wait too long, you’ll only get more and more lost; then, you’ll need even more help than if you had just gotten it out of the way at the start.”

“That’s true,” he said.

“If you don’t want Yayoi or your parents to help you, then I don’t mind doing it. We finished cleaning early in recess, so we got our homework done then, and my parents won’t mind if I stay at your house for a little bit,” you said.

“Okay!” he said eagerly. You were taken aback; you had fully believed that he’d take more convincing than just that, but here he was, as excited as anything, all but rejuvenated at the prospect. Perhaps it really was that relieving to be given the permission to ask for help as well as a method to receive it. “After you help me, can we play together?”

You didn’t necessarily want to play with him, but he said it with such wide, shimmery eyes that you could not help nodding in agreement. You weren’t quite sure what playing with him entailed, but you doubted it would be anything difficult, and you supposed you didn’t have much else to do that afternoon, so it wasn’t as if it was some great sacrifice.

Tabito and Yayoi’s grandmother was the only other one who was home at that time, so you and Tabito spread out your things on the dining table without worry, taking out pencils and graph paper so that you could discuss the issue at hand.

“What part are you having difficulty with?” you said.

“Um,” he said. You waited, but he only twirled his pencil in one hand, training his gaze on the blank sheet of paper.

“If you don’t tell me, I can’t explain it,” you said. “I won’t make fun of you.”

“You promise?” he said.

“Yes, I promise,” you said.

“All of it,” he said. “The teacher explained it too quickly.”

“That’s okay,” you said kindly. “There’s nothing to be ashamed of. Here, I’ll show you, and if it’s too fast, then tell me so I know to slow down.”

Thankfully, he was quick on the uptake, and within a few minutes, he was able to complete the practice problems on his homework without any hassle or intervention from you. You were glad to see the ease with which he approached the things he had been struggling with only moments previously, finding that his success was also yours, in a way.

He continued working until his entire sheet was filled out, and then he snapped the book shut and shoved it back in his bag. You did the same, clearing the table of the mess you had made and packing your own bag with your supplies.

“You didn’t forget that you’re going to play with me, right?” he said. You put your folder into the back pocket of your backpack and shook your head.

“No, but I don’t want the table to be disorderly if your parents come back from work early or if your grandmother needs it for something,” you said. He seemed suspicious, snatching your bag from you once he could tell that you were finished putting everything into it.

“I’ll put it with mine,” he informed you. “You can take it once we’re done playing.”

“Uh, okay,” you said, bemused. He ran up the stairs, a backpack hanging off of each arm, and returned with the same speed he had left with, a net in his hands. You gave him a confused look at the odd choice in toys. “What’s that for?”

“It’s springtime, so we can catch bugs,” he said, unlatching the back door. You made a face, having no interest in bugs, but you had said that you’d play with him already, so with a sigh, you traipsed out into the Karasus’ backyard with him.

Fortunately, Tabito was pretty flexible with his definition of playing. He wandered around, capturing bugs and bringing them to you so you could see, but for the most part he left you to sit under one of their flowering trees, leaning against the trunk and closing your eyes in something that was not quite sleep but was very close to it.

The blossoms perfumed the air so that it was sweet and fresh, and the shadows of the tree-boughs were lacy and delicate on your face. Petals fell into your hair and against your skin, and a soft wind murmured through the grass, swearing a million hushed things to you, things that you could only decipher at this edge of consciousness.

You realized dreamily that it had been quite some time since you had been jostled awake by Tabito, who up until that point had been quite steadily displaying his catches — which were mostly of the mundane, garden variety — to you with great flourish. Wondering what he was doing, you fluttered your eyes open, only to find him standing a few steps in front of you, his net loose at his side, wearing an expression of awe the likes of which you had never seen on anyone before, least of all him. When you opened your mouth to ask him what he was doing, he shook his head rapidly.

“Shh,” he said, voice barely above a whisper. “You’ll scare it.”

“What?” you said. “Scare what?”

“Oh, no,” he said as his statement came true, the butterfly which had been resting on your nose taking wing at the sound of your voice. You gasped, for you had thought the brush of its legs to be nothing but flowers shaken loose from their branches, and your hand flew to your face, fingers grazing over where it had been sitting only moments previously.

The butterfly had wings the same blue-violet color as Tabito’s eyes, framed with black and interspersed with pale spots. It floated away lazily and easily, dipping back towards you once before disappearing into the sky for good, flying somewhere far out of your reach. You both watched it go in silence — for some reason, it didn’t feel right to speak in that moment, as if you would interrupt something very sacred and precious if you did.

“That was a great purple emperor,” he said after a while. “Sasakia Charonda. It’s the national butterfly of Japan.”

“I’ve never seen one before,” you said, your heart racing, though you had no clue why.

“They usually stay up high,” he said. “That’s what the book Yayoi gave me said. Apparently, they only come down if they’re looking for food.”

“What do they like to eat?” you said. Insects were his interest at the moment; he jumped from topic to topic, reading as much as he could about one subject and then moving on to another when he grew bored. Yayoi found it frustrating when he began to talk about whatever he was fixated on at the moment, but you liked to indulge him when you could. After all, you would give anything to have someone who would listen to you, but if you could not have that, then you would at least like to be that person for another. For him.

“Sap and nectar and fruit juice, I think,” he said. “They prefer sweet things.”

You smiled. “It must have found me sweet, then, for it to have stayed there for so long.”

You couldn’t understand why, but his cheeks turned pink like the flowers blooming overhead, and then he spun on his heel and stormed inside without further response, leaving you to look back up at the sky and wonder if you’d ever see that butterfly again.

At twelve years old, you and Yayoi graduated elementary school alongside the rest of your peers. It was the biggest moment of your lives up until that point, a cause of terror as much as celebration. Junior high would be an entirely different experience than the one you had grown accustomed to, and the only consolation was that you both were attending the same one, so you would have each other’s company through the transition and beyond.

The graduation ceremony was short, with the principal giving a speech and then leading the parents in a round of applause for your achievements. Your mother and father sat beside Yayoi’s; Tabito was there, too, in between his grandmother and a man who bore a resemblance to your classmate Aoyama.

Tabito was ten now, and he was entirely contrary, doing the exact opposite of whatever he was told. It was especially so when the one telling him to do something was a person he was related to — namely, Yayoi, who frequently gave up and begged you to boss him around for her instead. He was less reluctant to follow your commands, though this might’ve been because you phrased them more as requests than anything.

He had not mentioned it outright, but given his amenability as of late, you sensed that he’d miss you and Yayoi once you began to attend junior high. It’d mean he was left alone, after all, left alone where once he had had you two as his companions. He was old enough now that you did not worry as much — if anyone tried to bother him the way they had when he was younger, you were assured that he’d manage them without breaking a sweat, but still, just because he did not need you and did not acknowledge it did not mean that he did not want you there.

His bored expression vanished when he met your eyes, the corners of his mouth lifting as he raised his hand in a shy wave. You could not wave back, not when you were supposed to maintain your composure onstage, but you dipped your chin ever-so-slightly in acknowledgement, scrunching your nose at him when you were sure your teacher was not looking.

As soon as the ceremony was completed, you filed off of the stage to meet your families outside. The moment your principal dismissed you, you took off towards your parents, leaping into your mother’s arms with a squeal.

“You did it!” she said.

“Congratulations, Y/N,” your father said, the lines of his face deepening from the force of his grin. “We’re so proud of you.”

“I can’t believe it,” you said. “Yayoi and I are going to go to middle school next year.”

“Both of you are going to do amazing,” your mother said.

“That’s for certain,” your father agreed. “Did you want to go talk to the Karasus? I’m sure that boy of theirs wants to say hi.”

They exchanged one of those looks that you were frustratingly aware of but could never interpret, and then they ushered you towards where Yayoi was standing with her family.

“Y/N!” Mrs. Karasu said when she noticed you. “Wonderful job, honey. We’re all so happy that you and Yayoi are going to continue to go to school together!”

“It’s true, we were just talking about it,” Mr. Karasu said. “It’s a lucky thing.”

“Isn’t it? And lucky for us, too, I’d say,” your father said. Mr. Karasu chuckled, slapping your father on the back in agreement. Thanks to you and Yayoi, your parents had become close, and indeed your fathers often claimed that they were each other’s ‘only friends.’ They were as glad as you were that you would not be split apart. After all, you doubted they could handle meeting new people and befriending them after so long together.

Your parents began to reminisce over the days when you and Yayoi were younger, and when you looked for Yayoi, you saw that she was talking to her grandmother, who she had always been close with. This left you to glance around in search of someone else to speak with yourself, though unfortunately, you soon came to the realization that there were not so many options.

“Y/N.” It was Tabito standing in front of you, his hands clasped behind his back. He scuffed the toe of his shoe against the pavement periodically, far more interested in the plumes of dust it created than anything, his head inclined towards his feet instead of at you. “Good job.”

“Thanks!” you said, glad to have a conversation partner. “It’ll be you, soon. Just two years! Are you excited?”

“Yeah, I guess so,” he said. “I don’t know if I’ll be able to go to the same junior high school as you, though.”

“That’s okay,” you said. “Even if you did, it would only be for one year, and then we’d be graduating again. You should make the choice based on what’s right for you, not where Yayoi and I are.”

“What happens if you and Yayoi don’t go to high school together?” he said.

“Why are you already thinking about us going to high school? That’s so far away,” you said.

“I just wanna know,” he said. “Will you stop being friends with her?”

“I don’t think so,” you said. “I’d have no reason to. Besides, if that happens, we’ll already have been friends for over nine years. It’s hard to abandon someone you’ve known for that long. Why do you ask? Are you worried that you’ll lose your friends when you graduate? You shouldn’t be.”

“I don’t want you to stop being friends with Yayoi,” he said. You raised your eyebrows at him.

“You try to act all cool, but you’re actually a really caring little brother, you know,” you said. “It’s sweet of you to worry about her, but it’ll take a lot more than attending different schools to break us apart, and even if something like that happens, she’ll easily make more friends, so it’s no cause to stress.”

“That’s not—”

“L/N, hey!”

Whatever Tabito was going to say was cut off by the arrival of your fellow art club member, Aoyama. He grabbed you in a hug before you could react, squeezing you in a vice grip that was impossible to escape from. You patted him on the back awkwardly until he let you go, though his fingers remained on your upper arms and he stayed leaning close to you.

“Hey, Aoyama,” you said. “Congrats on graduating.”

“You, too,” he said. “Oh, who’s this?”

“Yayoi’s little brother,” you said. Aoyama squinted at Tabito before nodding.

“I can see it — there’s definitely a resemblance. Hi, little Karasu! I’m Aoyama. I’ve been in the same class as your older sister and L/N here for the past few years,” he said. The way he introduced himself made it seem as if the three of you were particularly close, but indeed, other than your weekly art club meetings, neither you nor Yayoi had interacted much with the boy in the past couple of years.

“Hi,” Tabito said stiffly.

“He’s two years younger than us,” you added, in an attempt to smooth over Tabito’s surliness.

“That’s it?” Aoyama said. “He looks so small.”

“I’m not small!” Tabito said, but considering how much shorter he was than you and Aoyama, it wasn’t that convincing. He must’ve realized this, as his face grew red and his shoulders dropped, his lips drawing into a childish pout.

“Maybe it runs in the family,” Aoyama said. “Yayoi’s pretty tiny, too.”

“Well, it was good to see you, Aoyama,” you said, sensing that the conversation might take a turn for the worse very soon. “We should probably get back to our families, so…”

“No problem! See you next year?” he said.

You had forgotten that Aoyama, too, would be attending the same junior high as you and Yayoi, along with a handful of your other classmates. Nodding slightly and placing a hand on Tabito’s shoulder to steer him towards Yayoi, you waved at Aoyama.

“See you next year! Let’s go, Tabito,” you said.

There was a sullen quality to the stomp of his feet, but until Aoyama was out of earshot, he did not say anything to explain it. The moment the boy was gone, though, Tabito was whirling to face you, looking up at you plaintively.

“Do you think I’m small?” he demanded. It seemed his pride, which he guarded so fiercely, had been wounded by Aoyama’s comment. Even if you found it silly, it wasn’t unreasonable when you thought about it, so you did not make fun of him.

“Of course, right now you are,” you said. “It’s only natural. Eventually, you’ll grow, and then you won’t be.”

“I’ll be super tall when I’m an adult,” he said. “Taller than that guy.”

“Aoyama?” you said.

“Whatever his name is,” he said. “I’ll be taller than him, and — and — and better at soccer, too!”

“He doesn’t play soccer, so you’re already better than him at it,” you said. “Even if he did, though, I bet you wouldn’t have to try to beat him. You’re really good.”

He grunted. “Thanks.”

Though he tried to disguise it, it was obvious that he was pleased by the compliment. There was a spring to his step and a sparkle to his eyes as you rejoined your families, and you knew that you had once again succeeded in cheering him up, as you often took it upon yourself to do.

During your next summer term break, Yayoi insisted on going to the pool with you. She had heard that the next unit in your Physical Education class was going to be swimming, so even though you had not been assigned the practice as a requirement, she wanted to take advantage of your natural aptitude at the activity and get some time in so that she wasn’t behind.

“What’s your secret?” she nagged you as you, she, and Tabito walked towards your junior high school’s main building. Because of the swimming club, the pool was left open year-round, and even outside of practices, members of the student body were allowed to utilize the pool for their own reasons. Tabito wasn’t a student, but since he was with you and Yayoi, there was a high likelihood that nobody would even notice; besides, hardly anyone ever used the pool at this hour, so all in all there wouldn’t be any issues.

“Secret to what?” you said.

“Being so good at swimming! I can’t believe you didn’t join the club,” she said.

“It’s just something I like doing for fun. If I had to do it for the school club, I’d probably end up hating it,” you said. “Anyways, I don’t know. There’s no secret to it. I just get in the water and do what the teachers tell us to.”

Even in elementary school, you had been given rudimentary swim lessons as a part of your Physical Education class, but middle school would take those lessons to a far more brutal extent, at least according to Yayoi’s sources from the badminton club. You weren’t worried, but whatever information she had heard from her upperclassmen had terrified her enough that she was convinced you needed to spend every spare minute you had in the water.

“That’s what I do, but it looks so much easier when you do it,” she said, scanning her student card and motioning for you and Tabito to follow her through the open door.

“I don’t know. Things always look easier when you’re watching another person do them,” you said. “I’m sure it’s just as hard for me as it is for you.”

“Maybe,” she said.

“Do you like swimming, Tabito?” you said, taking off your shirt and pants, adjusting the straps of your bathing suit, which had twisted on the way to the pool. He had remained oddly quiet the entire time that you and Yayoi had been talking, which was out of character, considering he had been the one to insist on coming with you two.

“It’s okay,” he said. “I haven’t done it much before, so I don’t know.”

“Tabito’s afraid of the water,” Yayoi said. “He always cries when we go to the beach.”

“I don’t! Stop making things up, Yayoi,” he said. She snickered, already halfway down the stairs leading to the shallow end, the water licking around her thighs as she flopped backwards into the pool. As you had predicted, there was no one else there, so you had the entire area to yourselves, allowing you to be less focused in your efforts. Yayoi floated down the lane on her back, not even bothering to kick, her dark hair fanning out in a curtain around her waist, looking akin to a pair of unfurled wings fluttering in the wind.

“You so do,” she said. “I don’t know why you begged to come with us. I bet you won’t even go in the water, you chicken.”

“I am not a chicken!” he snapped, trailing after you like a shadow as you made your way over to the deep end.

“You definitely are,” Yayoi said. “Chicken, chicken!”

“Come on, Yayoi, that’s enough,” you said, stretching your arms and preparing to dive in. “It’s okay. He doesn’t have to swim if he doesn’t want to. There’s nothing wrong with being afraid of the water, especially not given that he’s still in primary school.”

Tabito puffed his cheeks out. “I’m not scared of the water. Only babies are, and I’m not a baby. I’m gonna swim just like you.”

“How about we do it together, then?” you bargained. Although Yayoi liked to tease Tabito, she would not lie or make things up solely to bully him, which meant that he really was frightened of the water. And if that was the case, then it’d be foolish of you to leave him alone, especially if he couldn’t even swim, the way she had been hinting he could not.

“That sounds good,” he said. You took his hand in between yours, interlocking your fingers with his tightly, so there was no chance that he’d accidentally let go, and then you leapt into the pool, pulling him after you. He let out a shriek at the suddenness, but then you hit the water and he was cut off by the cold temperature and the tangy, burning taste of chlorine.

A rush of bubbles surrounded you, the coruscating clear-blue obscuring your vision, but even before they could burst away into nothingness, you were pushing off the pool floor, dragging Tabito behind you until you reached the surface and he could gasp for breath.

His legs wrapped around your waist as your own churned the water, treading it to keep the both of you afloat, and his fingers clawed at your shoulders, digging them into your skin hard enough to bruise. When he tucked his cheek to your pulse, you noticed that his breaths were coming in harsh, short pants, his entire frame trembling against yours.

“Tabito,” you said gently. “You’ll have to let go so I can swim to the shallow end.”

“I can’t,” he said. “If I let go, I’ll drown.”

“If you don’t let go, we’ll both drown,” you said. “I’m not strong enough to keep treading water forever, and I don’t think Yayoi could save us both if it came to it.”

You weren’t worried yet, but it was true that at some point, you’d get tired, and then you’d be in trouble. Yet you also knew you had to be soft, for it seemed his fear was far more paralyzing than you had anticipated, and if he began to genuinely panic, then he might accidentally drown you both.

“Y/N,” he whispered, his face hidden in the hollow of your collarbone. “I am scared.”

“I know,” you said, using one hand to stroke along his bony spine, the other swishing back and forth to assist your efforts in staying above the surface. “But sometimes, you still have to do things, even when you’re afraid.”

“I can’t do it, though,” he sniffed. “I can’t at all.”

“Is everything okay?” Yayoi shouted from the shallow end.

“It’s fine!” you called back, knowing that Tabito might rather drown than let her know of this weakness. “Tabito, listen, I’m not going to let you go. Even if you let go of me, I won’t do the same. Do you trust me when I say that?”

“Yes,” he said immediately.

“Then prove it and leave me,” you said.

Slowly, almost painstakingly, he removed his arms from around you and drew his legs back. For the briefest moment, he was floating by himself, but before he could begin to flail around out of fear, you grabbed his arm, taking him along beside you as you swam to the shallow end where Yayoi was waiting.

As soon as he was able to stand, Tabito sprinted out of the pool, splashing up the stairs, shivering as he made a beeline for where his towel was waiting. You and Yayoi watched as he flopped into one of the chairs, curling up and draping the towel over his shoulders.

“Well, I guess he spent more time in the water than I expected,” Yayoi allowed. “That was a surprise.”

You exhaled, rolling your shoulders, which had tightened from the burden you had carried along the length of the pool. “He’s braver than you give him credit for.”

“Maybe around you,” Yayoi said. “I think he just wants to impress you, since you’re older and cooler.”

“It could be,” you said. “Though I doubt it. He’s known me for too long to think of me as worthy of impressing. It’s probably just because I’m nicer to him than you.”

“That’s just because you don’t see him every day. Trust me, if you did, you’d be even meaner than me. I’m told I’m quite patient,” she said. You flicked water at her.

“Our resident saint, Yayoi Karasu,” you said. She flicked water back at you with a mock-scowl.

“Oh, shut up,” she said, and then it was an all out war as the two of you endeavored to soak the other, forgetting about anything more important than the newfound game and the happiness it brought you.

When it finally came time for Tabito to graduate elementary school, there was a sort of melancholy in the air, though by all rights it should’ve been an exciting time. You had been asked to come to the ceremony by Yayoi, though she had confessed that it had been her brother who had actually wanted you there but was too shy to ask directly, and almost as soon as you sat down, you were aware of that feeling settled over all of the Karasus, even Tabito himself, though he was so far away on the stage.

Perhaps for their parents and grandmother, it was because their youngest was at this milestone. Never again would they have a child in elementary school; now, both of the siblings were older, nearer to adulthood than anything, but you doubted that that fact was congruent with the images they held of them as helpless infants. Even for you, it was peculiar to see Tabito standing on that stage when you still at times thought of him as that four year old boy who played with trains, so you assumed the effect was tenfold for his parents and grandmother, who had raised him since birth.

You weren’t so sure that it was the same for Yayoi, who had a different sort of glumness about her. She was sad for another reason, and as the principal droned on about the class’s achievements, you leaned over to whisper in her ear.

“What’s got you down?” you said.

“I’m not down,” she muttered. She would’ve fooled any other person, but you were not any other person, so you only elbowed her in the side.

“Yayoi,” you said under your breath in a sing-song voice. “Are you sad about Tabito graduating?”

“Why would I be sad about that?” she said.

“You tell me,” you said.

“It’s just hard to wrap my head around,” she said. “I always complain about him following me around and bothering me, but it’s just hitting me now that he probably won’t do that very much anymore. He’s going to go to a different middle school and make friends and want nothing to do with me.”

“I don’t think he’d do that,” you reassured her. “He’ll be less annoying about it, but he won’t just abandon you, at least not before you do the same to him. He’s bad at letting go of things unless you force him to.”

“I’d never abandon him,” she said.

“It’s not that you’d abandon him, but just think about it. In four years we’ll be headed to university, and he’ll still be in high school. Isn’t that kind of like you leaving him first?” you said.

“I don’t want to think about that,” she said after a minute.

“I get it,” you said. “It’s weird for me as well. Not him, but what if you and I don’t go to the same high school or university? What will I do without you?”

The changing of the seasons was what weighed on Yayoi, and consequently, on you. Tabito’s graduation was a reminder that the years did not stop for anyone, that you were all growing older with every passing day, and that one day things would not be so simple, the way they were right now. Of course, that day was far away, but then again, there had been a time when the day that Tabito left primary school, too, had been far away, and yet here you were, arriving upon it so soon.

The end of the ceremony was familiar to you, but this time you were on the opposite side, standing amongst the parents as they waited for their children to join them. You stood on your tiptoes, peering over Mr. Karasu’s shoulder in an attempt to spot Tabito when he came out. There wasn’t anyone else in his class who you knew; you had gone solely for him, and so it was only he who you searched for, counting the heads until he appeared.

He was one of the last ones to come out, talking to a few of his friends, though they all peeled off in different directions as they grew closer to you. Finally, by the time he reached the area where you, his parents, grandmother, and Yayoi were waiting, he was by himself, his hands shoved in his pockets as he braced himself for your reactions.

“Come here, Tabito,” his grandmother said, embracing him as tightly as she could given her frail body. “You’ve worked so hard, my grandson. You deserve everything good that’s bound to come your way.”

“Thank you, grandmother,” he said. There was this one thing about him — no matter how he acted around his peers, no one could ever say that he disrespected his elders, which was not always the case with those his age.

“How do you feel? You’re officially a middle schooler now!” Mr. Karasu said once his grandmother had let him go.

“Good,” he said. He was obviously squirmy and embarrassed at everyone’s attention being focused on him, so his mother only kissed him atop the head before releasing him to speak with you and Yayoi.

“Good going, Tabito,” Yayoi said, offering him her hand. He shook it firmly, much more at ease now that it was just the three of you. It was so typical as to be normal, despite the less-than-ordinary circumstances of the meeting, so it was impossible for any of you to be awkward.

“Thanks, Yayoi,” he said. She scoffed, making a big show of wiping her hand against her pants, which Tabito only rolled his eyes at.

“Whatever. Don’t forget that I’m going to a better junior high school than you, okay?” she said.

“It’s not my fault that your school’s soccer club sucks!” he said. “I’d have gone there if I could’ve.”

“More like you couldn’t get in,” she said. “Because you’re super stupid. I can’t believe you even managed to graduate in the first place. In fact, I only even congratulated you because I was so surprised by that fact.”

“Stupid? You’re the stupid one!” Tabito said.

“Nuh-uh, you didn’t even understand long division until Y/N explained it to you!” Yayoi said.

“That’s the only thing I was ever confused by, and I understood it as soon as she told me how to!” he said.

“Well, that just means Y/N’s a good teacher. It has nothing to do with how smart you are,” she said. You laughed.

“To be sure, I’m a good teacher, but that doesn’t mean he’s stupid. It’s his graduation, so we should be nice to him for today, don’t you think, Yayoi?” you said. She pouted.

“Just for today, I guess,” she said. “Fine. You’re not that stupid, Tabito.”

“You’re not that stupid, either,” he said. Coming from them, this was actually a stunning declaration of fraternal love, and you were taken aback that you had inspired it. However, upon further consideration, you supposed everyone was feeling sentimental by that point, so it wasn’t too hard to tease out.

“How far is your new school?” you asked him in an attempt to change the subject.

“Pretty far,” he said. “They have the best soccer club in the area, though, so it only makes sense for me to go there.”

“Are you going to have to try out?” you said.

“Of course. It’s not a guarantee I’ll get to play at all, especially in my first year, but just the fact that the chance is there is enough,” he said.

“That’s intense,” you said. You had stayed with the art club all throughout middle school, and though it was conducted with the same stringency as the sports clubs, there wasn’t as much of a competitive aspect to it. Anyone who wanted to join was allowed to, as long as they abided by the rules and regulations of the club, and such concepts as ‘trying-out’ were foreign to you outside of the stories Yayoi told you about her misadventures with badminton.

“It’s how it is in all sports clubs,” he said.

“True,” Yayoi said. “Remember my first year in the badminton club? It’ll be like that, only to a greater extent, since his school is known for soccer, so the club will be way more popular.”

“I don’t know how you guys do it. I could never; having to try out and possibly being denied the chance to do something I love would stress me out way too much,” you said. “But hey, Tabito, when you do get in — because I’m sure you will — invite us to your games so we can cheer you on, alright?”

“You’d really want to watch me?” he said.

“Why not?” you said. “I’m sure it’d be fun.”

“Eh,” Yayoi said. “Don’t be too sure. The games are kinda boring, to tell you the truth.”

“Nobody said you had to come!” Tabito said, crossing his arms and glaring at her.

“It’s not like I’d leave Y/N to suffer on her own just because she wants to be a supportive older-sister-figure. Obviously, I’d go,” she said.

“Aw, you’re the best, Yayoi,” you said.

“I try,” she said.

“Although, it’s kind of crazy that you’d go to support me but not him, when he’s the one actually related to you,” you pointed out.

“That’s because I like you more,” she said. “Not too crazy.”

“What happened to being nice to him on his graduation day?” you reminded her.

“Sorry,” she said automatically. “It had to be said, though.”

“Whatever,” Tabito said. “I don’t care if you’re there or not.”

“Wow, I see how it is,” she said.

“Just keep me posted,” you said. “As long as I’m not busy, I’ll go for sure.”

“I’ll tell you the moment I make the team. You’ll be the first person to know,” he said.

“Not even our parents?” Yayoi said.

“Obviously I wasn’t counting them!”

Either he was more talented than he let on, or more determined than the rest of his classmates, but regardless, mere months after the next school year began, you picked up a phone call that came from Yayoi’s phone but was made by another person entirely.

“Hello?” you said.

“Hello, Y/N? It’s Tabito. I’m using Yayoi’s phone to call you because I don’t have one of my own,” he said.

“Hi, Tabito. What’s up?” you said, holding the phone between your ear and shoulder as you filled out a worksheet for your science class.

“I made it onto the soccer team,” he said. The tone was casual, but there was energy brimming behind it, so you knew he was likely rocking back and forth on his heels in excitement.

“No way! As just a first year?” you said.

“Yeah, I’m the youngest member of the team. The others are all second and third years,” he said.

“That’s amazing! I knew you could do it,” you said.

“I was pretty nervous, but I just did the best I could at tryouts, and I guess they thought I fit in well with the team,” he said.

“Of course you do,” you said.

“So,” he said. “Our first game is in two weeks. On Saturday. Are you busy that day?”

“I don’t think so. I’m usually free on Saturdays, especially if I’m good about doing my homework on time,” you said.

“Will you come?” he said, spitting it out like it was something boiling and acidic on his tongue.

“To your game? Yeah, I already promised I would, didn’t I? Just send me the address and I’ll be there,” you said.

“Okay,” he said.

“Okay,” you said. “See you later. And seriously, you should be proud of yourself. Getting into the club at your age is awesome.”

“Thanks,” he said. “I’ll have Yayoi send you the address so you can meet her there. Um, but only if you want to.”

“I do want to,” you assured him. “Promise. Bye, Tabito.”

The day of the game was brisk and windy, almost like winter but not quite as punishing — the kind of weather where you could still just as easily grow too hot as too cold. All of the trees lining the street were bursting with colors other than the typical viridian, their leaves glimmering in the afternoon sunlight like ruby-studded crowns of gold which cascaded through the air with every passing breeze. There was a hint of loneliness in the piles of browning foliage littering the sidewalk, which meant that, in short, it was Tabito’s favorite kind of day. You hoped that it was a good omen for his first game.

Yayoi was waiting for you by the bottom of the bleachers, playing with the frayed ends of the pale blue scarf wrapped around her neck. She was wearing a cable-knit sweater, a pair of jeans that were loose around her ankles, and once-white shoes which had long ago been ruined by purple ink and too much free time.

“Sorry I’m late,” you said. She glanced up at you and then smiled slightly in greeting.

“No worries, you’re not late at all. I just came early because I walked with Tabito and he had to be here in time to warm up,” she said.

“If you get here so early every time, then I can see why you get bored of watching his games,” you said.

“I guess maybe that’s on me,” she allowed. “Where do you want to sit? If we’re closer to the field, we can see better, but there’s a greater chance we’ll get hit by a stray ball.”

“How about three rows back? That should be enough of a buffer that we don’t get hurt, but we’ll be able to see everything that happens,” you said.

“Sounds like a plan,” she said.

The metal benches were icy when you first sat on them, and you pulled your cardigan tighter around you to ward away the chill which seeped through your entire body from the point of contact. Yayoi, who was nearly as observant as her brother, offered you her scarf when she noticed, but you shook your head in a silent rejection.

The two of you talked about random, mindless things while you waited for the game to begin — how your classes were going, the latest gossip at your school, which high schools you were planning to apply for, and other such topics. They were the same subjects you went over every time you hung out, and for a moment you forgot that you had another purpose for meeting beyond just enjoying one another’s company.

Then the referee blew the whistle, effectively cutting off your conversation and bringing the impending game back to your collective attention. The gathered spectators, who were mostly parents and other students that attended Tabito’s junior high school, broke into applause as the teams took the field for the kickoff. You did the same, though both you and Yayoi made sure to applaud extra hard when Tabito jogged up with the others.

“Do you know what position he plays?” you said.

“Back in elementary school, he was the striker, but I doubt they’d give that role to a first year,” she said. “He’ll have to work up to it, I’m sure. He’s probably in the midfield for now.”

“I don’t really know what that means,” you admittedly sheepishly.

“I guess you could think of midfielders as the in-between men? Before, he was on pure offense, so his job was to stay up and score whenever possible, and then of course there’s players who prefer to be on defense, which means they aim to stop the opposite team from making goals. Midfielders have to be fluid, though, since they’re responsible for the middle portion of the field — ah, hence the name. Depending on who has the ball, they have to either go on offense or stay back on defense, which means they need to be equally as skilled at both,” she said.

“But then why would they put an inexperienced player in such a spot?” you said.

“It’s a pretty forgiving position, surprisingly. If you mess up as a midfielder, you have a buffer of offensive and defensive players on either side of you, so it’s likely that someone will be able to recover for the error, but if you’re up on top at offense or near the goal on defense, then there’s no one beyond you, so mistakes are more costly,” she explained.

“I get it now,” you said. “Sorry if that was a dumb thing to be asking so many questions about.”

“Not at all,” she said. “It can be confusing, especially when you don’t know much about the game. You should ask Tabito to explain everything to you if you plan on becoming a soccer fan; he can go on and on about it. My knowledge is pretty surface level and also entirely dependent on whatever he’s told me.”

“I’ll keep that in mind,” you said.

“Ooh, look, they’re starting!” Yayoi said, pointing at the field, where indeed the game had exploded into action, players darting back and forth, shoving one another aside as they reached for the ball. As she had predicted, Tabito stayed towards the middle of the field, surveying the players fighting over the ball, and though he wasn’t anywhere near the thick of things, you found yourself far more interested in him than the others.

What did he see when he was on the field? It was something you’d never really get to understand. What was it like in the heat of a match, where every single movement was the difference between win or lose — in essence, between life or death? You wondered what kind of person he became when he played soccer, if it was the sort of experience that changed one’s character or if you were just ascribing fantastical aspects to it because you couldn’t live through it yourself.

The game went on at a breakneck speed, and frequently, by the time you asked Yayoi what was happening, the play had ended and a new strategy had already been implemented. It was difficult to keep up with but no less exciting for your lack of comprehension, and at least it was easy to keep track of the score, for the goals needed no explanation.

By the time that the second half was all but over, the score was tied. You thought about asking Yayoi what’d happen if it ended like that, but based on the way she was leaning forward in her seat and biting her nails, you doubted it was anything good.

Entirely by chance or perhaps by choice, the ball rolled to a stop at Tabito’s feet. For the entire game, he had been flitting around the action, never cutting in despite how he must’ve ached to, and now he was being given a chance to prove himself, a chance to change the course of the match entirely. Your heart pounded, though nowhere near as fiercely as his own must’ve, and somehow your hand sought out Yayoi’s, the racing pulse in your wrist crushing against hers, which was equally as quick.

In the moment that the side of Tabito’s foot brushed against the ball, there was a rebirth which occurred. He came alive in an instant, like a hawk which had finally swooped upon its prey, talons digging into a tender neck and rending through the soft flesh, wings spreading in an ominous shadow over the unassuming creature that he was bound to devour.

The other team did not stand a chance. He cut through them in a way that almost felt mocking, slamming his hands against their chests to push them away, keeping them at an arm’s length as he flew past, his eyes constantly scanning the area around him, trusting his feet to take care of the ball, which stayed by him with the loyalty of a hound. It was a terrible and yet beautiful thing to take in, the cruelty of his play-style; you could not reconcile it with the sweet boy you knew, yet neither could you tear your eyes away from that sly, vicious force as it darkened the field.

His goal was punctuated with the whistle of the game’s end. For a moment, he stood there alone, staring at the ball rolling out of the net, sending up sprays of turf when it bounced against the ground, and then he was tackled by his teammates, all of whom were shouting praises as they piled atop him.

“I can’t believe he scored the winning goal!” Yayoi said, tugging you to your feet. “Come on, let’s go congratulate him!”

“Are we allowed to?” you said.

“Mm, not if this was an actual game, but considering it was just a practice match between two middle schools, no one will care,” she said, vaulting over the short fence separating the field from the seating area and helping you do the same.

“If you say so,” you said.

All of the players were congregated by their coach, who was delivering an inspirational speech about their teamwork and how wonderful they were, so you and Yayoi hung back until they were dismissed. After that, you snuck up on Tabito, who was taking off his cleats, and Yayoi thumped him on the back.

“Boo!” she said. He squealed, and it was a high-pitched, girlish sound which had Yayoi cackling with laughter as she squished his cheeks together in one hand.

“Yayoi!” he said, though his voice was muffled, his mouth resembling a fish’s. “Let go of me!”

“I can’t bear to! My baby brother, the hero of the match,” Yayoi said. “It’s unbelievable. As exciting as if I was the one to score the winning goal.”

“Yeah, but you weren’t,” he said, using his shoulder to get her off of him so he could tie the laces of his sneakers.

“Wow, way to take away from my fun,” she said. “And here I was, trying to be proud of you.”

“Whatever,” he said. “What did you think, Y/N?”

Before you could answer, two of Tabito’s older teammates, one of whom was wearing a captain’s armband, appeared behind him. They were probably your age, towering over little Tabito, with handsome faces and the beginnings of sleek muscles swelling in their arms and legs.

“Hi,” the captain said to you. “You’re super pretty.”

You had never been approached so boldly, and certainly not by anyone so good-looking. Your cheeks warmed, and you fought back a smile.

“Hi,” you said. “Thanks. You played really well.”

You couldn’t quite remember how he had played, actually, for you had spent most of the game looking at Tabito, but you assumed it wouldn’t hurt for you to compliment him back, and mentioning the game was a safe enough way to do so. He seemed to appreciate it, laughing loudly, though you hadn’t said anything particularly funny.

“I’m glad you thought so!” he said. “We tried out a new strategy, and we weren’t sure it’d work, but thanks to Tabito here, it ended up for the best.”

“That’s great,” you said, directing your words to both of them, though the other teammate, who seemed to be less outgoing than his captain, was too busy staring at Yayoi to notice.

“How d’you know this shrimp, anyways?” the captain said, throwing an arm around the disgruntled Tabito’s shoulders. Tabito’s expression, which had already soured with the captain’s arrival, only warped more at the friendly display, his lip curling like he had tasted spoiled milk.

“He’s my little brother, and she’s my best friend,” Yayoi offered, tucking a stray piece of hair behind her ear.

“We came to support him at his first game!” you said. “He’s been super excited about getting the chance to play, so there was no way we couldn’t come.”

“As far as first years go, he’s definitely one of the best. I’m confident he’ll be taking my spot once he’s old enough for it,” the captain said. “I can’t name a single kid his age who’s as talented or hardworking.”

“He gets it from his older sister,” Yayoi joked. The captain grinned at her.

“I’m sure he does,” he said. “Look, I’m going to be plain with you: my friend and I were wondering if we could get your numbers and maybe—”

“We have to go now,” Tabito said, cutting off the captain, who gave him a surprised look. Slinging his bag over his shoulder, he crossed his arms at you and Yayoi. “My mom will get mad at us if we’re late.”

“No, she won’t,” Yayoi said, furrowing her brow. “Since when has she cared about how late we are getting home?”

“Yes, she will!” he insisted. “She told me before we left that we have to be back before sunset or else we’ll be in big trouble.”

The captain raised his hands in the air. “No worries. Come to another game and we can catch up then, alright? There’s no point in risking getting in trouble.”

“Sure, that sounds cool,” you said.

“Nice meeting you,” he said.

“Yeah, nice meeting you,” the other teammate echoed, speaking for the first time, his face immediately turning bright red when Yayoi glanced at him.

“See you around,” she said. You thought that you heard the boy squeak, but you couldn’t quite tell. “Alright, Tabito, let’s go, then. Since apparently we’ll be in such big trouble if we’re not on time. Whatever that means.”

She didn’t roll her eyes, but it was implied in the rise and fall of her voice. Tabito ignored her, trotting off towards the exit, forcing you both to follow after him without further delay.

Once you were all on the road towards the Karasu household, Yayoi pulled out her phone, holding it out to her younger brother threateningly.

“I’m going to call mom, and if it turns out you were lying, I’m — I’m — I’m going to be really upset! You made us miss out on a chance to get dates, so if you were just making stuff up, then I’ll kill you for sure!” she said, speeding ahead of you so she could talk uninterrupted. Tabito shifted closer to you, a small frown on his face, not bothering to respond to Yayoi’s threat. You waited for him to say something; he confided in you often, expressing things to you which he dared not discuss with his sister, and you did not doubt that he would take advantage of the moment of solitude to speak his mind to you.

“You didn’t tell me,” he said after a moment of walking at your side.

“Tell you what?” you said.

“What you thought,” he said. “You told the captain he played well, but what about me?”

“I assumed it would be a given,” you said. “Of course, naturally I thought you were wonderful, Tabito. You were the best player out there.”

“Better than the captain?” he said. You beckoned him closer, cupping your hands around his ear.

“Can I tell you a secret?” you whispered. He nodded eagerly. “I don’t really know how the captain played. I just said that he was good to be nice to him, as he was nice to me, but the truth is that even when you didn’t have the ball, I couldn’t help but watch you the entire time.”

“Really?” he said.

“Really,” you said, nodding at him quite seriously. “I came to support you, didn’t I? Why would I bother with the other players?”

Any traces of his earlier vexation vanished in an instant. As you had suspected, he had been upset that you and Yayoi had ignored him in favor of the charming older players when he had been the one to invite you in the first place. Thankfully, he was easy to read and easier to placate, and anyways he never held grudges for very long, so he quickly cheered as if he had never been angry at all.

“Y/N, can I ask you one more thing before Yayoi comes back?” he said, looking over at his sister, who was speaking quite furiously to who you could only imagine was their mother.

“You can always ask me anything,” you said. “Go ahead.”

“Your phone number,” he said.

“What about it?” you said, puzzled. He avoided your eyes, kicking apart a pile of leaves and gazing at them as they plumed into the air.

“I want it,” he said. You gave him an amused look.

“You don’t even have a phone, Tabito. What would you do with my number?” you said.

“I’ll remember it,” he said, picking up a leaf and tearing it apart into many small pieces.

“Is that so?” you said. It was a ridiculous request, and you doubted he’d be able to follow through on that kind of promise, but you figured there was no harm in telling him. So you listed off the digits of your phone number, slowly and carefully, as he nodded along and told you he really would never forget them.

“Tabito!” Yayoi shrieked, sprinting towards you two at full pace. Tabito yelped and hid behind you as his sister, who was hardly ever so intimidating, came closer and closer, her countenance dark and a malevolent aura rolling off of her in waves. “Explain yourself, punk! Why’d mom tell me she said nothing like the crap you were spouting earlier? What’s the big idea, huh?”

“Oh, it’s alright, Yayoi,” you said. “I’m sure it was weird for him to watch his own teammates flirting with his older sister and her friend. That has to be some kind of murky territory or something. What if it didn’t work out and then they bullied him because of that? I don’t blame him for trying to get out of the situation.”

She huffed. “You’re lucky Y/N’s here. One day she won’t be there to defend you, and then you’ll really be sorry!”

Tabito stood on his tiptoes to peek over your shoulder and stuck his tongue out at her. Scowling, she returned the gesture in kind, blowing a raspberry at him before grabbing your hand and yanking you away with her.

“Come on,” she said. “Let’s leave this loser to walk by himself.”

You chuckled and freed your hand from her grasp, which was a Herculean feat given that she had a grip made of iron, and then you looped your arm through her own.

“Alright, Yayoi,” you said. “Let’s do that.”

Later that night, as you wrapped up the last of your homework for the weekend, your cell phone lit up with an incoming call. Setting down your pencil, you picked up the phone and saw it was from the Karasus’ home phone — which was odd, because ever since Yayoi had gotten a cellphone of her own, she had called you from that, so it had been quite some time since you had seen that particular contact pop up.

“Hi, Yayoi,” you said. “Did your phone die or something?”

There was a pause. Then: “This isn’t Yayoi. It’s Tabito. I told you I’d remember your number.”

“Tabito?” you said. “Well, good job with that.”

“I wrote it down as soon as I got home,” he said. “Once I get my own phone, I’ll make you my first contact.”

“Me? Not your parents or Yayoi? Or one of your other friends from school?” you said, snickering. “Why is that?”

“I don’t know,” he said. “But I want it to be you.”

“I appreciate it,” you said. Maybe in some way, your friendship with Yayoi had transferred to him; after all, you had been the first number she inputted once she got a new phone, and you were also the first person she gave her personal number to, so maybe that kind of tradition had stayed with him and, in a typical sibling manner, became something he wanted to replicate. “You do that, then. And you can text me directly when you have games so I can come to them.”

“Actually, I also wanted to tell you that you don’t have to watch any more games where I’m not doing anything. When I’m in high school and I’m the captain of a really good team, then you can come,” he said.

“I don’t mind if you’re not doing much. The game today was fun. I got to hang out with Yayoi and meet your teammates,” you said.

“I don’t want you there anymore, so don’t come!” he said.

“Goodness. I won’t, then,” you said. “But that means you really have to work hard, because even if you invite me, I’ll only attend if you’re the captain of the team.”

“Good,” he said. “I’ll be a way better captain than the one I have right now.”

“Sure,” you said.

“Okay,” he said. “Bye, Y/N.”

“Bye,” you said, hanging up, finding a great humor in his competitive mindset, which even reared its head against his own captain, who he was meant to respect above all else.

Somehow, by chance or by fate, both you and Yayoi had the same top high school, and furthermore, you both received offers of admission despite how selective it was. The only other person from your middle school who was accepted was Aoyama, which you only knew because he told you one day during art club.

Both his artistic skills and his appearance had improved markedly since the two of you had first met; though he had never managed to master calligraphy or watercolor painting, he had discovered a talent for making scenes come alive with the use of a simple pencil. It was admirable, that with solely shades of gray he was able elicit images of color, and as he had grown older, he had also mellowed into someone you did not mind speaking to, so when you discovered that he was going to high school with you and Yayoi, you were surprised to find that you were actually a little happy about that fact.

Despite his obvious aptitude for sports — he was tall and sturdily built, with long limbs and a wide torso — he had denied every athletic club which attempted to recruit him, staying loyal to the art club despite how hard he had to work at keeping up with the rest of you. And because you and he had been in the same club for years upon years and the same school for longer, you supposed that it was inevitable for some kind of relationship to blossom between the two of you, which was why it was all but a foregone conclusion when he asked you out, the winter of your first year of high school.

It wasn’t the most romantic proposal. In fact, it was rushed and harried and fumbling, altogether messy and unplanned, but endearing in a way. You had been walking home from an art club meeting when you passed by the park where he had had a birthday party, so many years ago, and then he was pulling you over to the slides and sitting you down at the foot of one. You were motionless as he paced back and forth, trying to muster up the courage and the words to say to you, and then finally he just spat it out, all in a jumble. Will you go out with me?

You saw no reason to say no, so you said yes. He pressed a kiss to your cheek, and his lips were cold like the weather, but you did not complain, because he could not help it. And then he sprinted off and left you sitting there, at the edge of the red plastic slide in that desolate playground, the wind pushing the empty swings the way you had once pushed Tabito.

Aoyama was a fine boyfriend, or at least you thought he was; you had no experience with any others, so of course you could not say for certain, but in your opinion, he did as well of a job as he could be expected to. He held your hand when you walked together and took you on dates and kissed you in private — never in public, though, because you hated the idea, even if he would’ve liked to very much.

“I don’t get what your problem is,” you said, pressing a button on your controller to send a red shell flying. It connected with Yayoi’s character, and your own avatar, Princess Daisy, pumped her fist in celebration as you shot past the dismayed Rosalina.

“Don’t have one,” she said, shaking her remote in a futile effort to reawaken Rosalina. The character remained stunned for a second more before rejoining the race.

“Every time I bring up Aoyama, you stop talking and get all standoffish,” you said. “You obviously do have a problem. Is it because I keep talking about my boyfriend? I’m sorry if I’ve been doing that. I don’t want to be one of those people.”

“You don’t talk about him a ton,” she said, using a power up to speed through a shortcut, ramming your character out of the way to snag first place at the last minute.

“Okay, but something about him annoys you. What is it? I can’t fix a problem if I don’t even know it exists,” you said.

There was a set of thudding footsteps, and then Tabito, freshly showered from a game, peeked his head into the living room, batting his eyelashes at you in an attempt to seem sweet and innocent.

“Are you guys playing Mario Kart?” he said.

“What’s it to you?” Yayoi said.

“I want to, too,” he said. “Can I?”

“We were kind of talking about something,” you said. You weren’t sure if Yayoi would discuss the subject in front of her little brother, but it had been bothering you for long enough that you wanted to get things out in the open once and for all.

“It’s fine,” Yayoi said. “You can play with us. Just don’t be a pain.”

This was an absolute role reversal, and Tabito must’ve picked up on that, but he did not mention it, only plodding over to the TV and connecting his own set of controllers before settling on the floor in front of you, leaning back on your legs instead of attempting to squish between his sister and the armrest of the small couch.

“Are you seriously going to be Waluigi again?” you asked him with some disdain, wrinkling your nose as he selected his typical character.

“He’s my favorite,” he said.

“Gross,” you said. “But back to the original topic, Yayoi, don’t think you’re getting out of things just because Tabito’s here. You still have to explain what’s up.”

“Did something happen?” Tabito said as you selected a cup at random and the first race began.

“No,” Yayoi said.

“Yes,” you said, at exactly the same time.

“…Okay, then,” Tabito said.

“It’s about Aoyama,” Yayoi said. “Her boyfriend.”

“Oh,” he said.

“It feels like Yayoi has some issues with him, but she won’t tell me what those issues are, exactly,” you said.

“Is he a bad boyfriend?” Tabito said.

“I don’t think so,” you said. “No, he’s perfectly alright.”

“Look, I don’t have anything against Aoyama. I liked him, all of the way back in first grade, so obviously I don’t have a problem with him,” she said.

“Is that it?” you said. “I didn’t even realize you had a crush on him at all.”

“No, why would I care about a crush from when I was so young? To be honest, I just don’t think he deserves you,” she said.

“Why not?” you said.

“That’s my duty as your best friend,” she said. “To me, you’re the most amazing person ever, so how could someone like Aoyama ever be worthy of dating you? Besides, it doesn’t seem like you like him very much.”

“What are you talking about? Obviously, I like him, or I wouldn’t be going out with him,” you said.

“You should break up with him if you don’t like him,” Tabito suggested.

“I do like him, and I’m not breaking up with him,” you said. “Yayoi, why would you say something like that?”

“Dunno,” she said. “Forget about it. Maybe I was just seeing things. If you say that you like him, then you definitely do.”

“Right,” you said.

“What’s so great about him, anyways?” Tabito said, shifting so that he could be more comfortable. “For you to want to date him. Why do you like him? Does he even do anything of note?”

You snorted. “Not everyone’s a soccer ace like you, Tabito. Aoyama could’ve been an athlete, but he’s stayed in the art club with me since elementary school. That’s a long time; it would’ve been impossible for me not to grow fond of him over the years, and by the time he worked up the nerve to ask me out officially, I suppose I was fond enough to say yes.”

“That’s stupid,” Tabito said. For emphasis, he released a blue shell, which hit you right before you crossed the finish line. “Anyone could join the art club, and you’ve known other people longer than you’ve known him. That’s not enough of a reason to date somebody.”

“Rude,” you said, kneeing him in the head playfully, for you had come in fourth due to his intervention. “You know, you don’t really need a reason to date someone. You can date them just because. Maybe it’s true that hanging out with you two is more fun than being with Aoyama, but isn’t it normal to get along better with your friends? And especially when the relationship is so fresh. We’re still getting to know one another right now.”

“That’s fair,” Yayoi said. “Don’t expect me to be outright hospitable with him or anything, but for your sake, I’ll be polite. As long as he knows that I’ll make sure he regrets hurting you, if ever he does.”

“I’ll pass the message along,” you said.

“And you have to like me — us more,” Tabito added. “You’ve known us longer, so you have to like us better.”

“I’ll always like you better,” you said, reaching down to pinch his cheek. Already, his face was losing that round quality from his youth; you expected it’d be entirely gone soon, and you mourned the imminent loss of his doll-like appearance, vowing to adore it for as long as it remained.

Surprisingly, he did not slap your hand away. He only hummed in pleased agreement, and that was that. The conversation was finished, and it was the last any of you spoke about the matter for quite some time.

High school flew by faster than you had anticipated, certainly far faster than middle school had, though they were the exact same length. You divided your time between your club activities, studying for exams, hanging out with Yayoi as well as your other friends, and going on dates with Aoyama, so you hardly had a moment in which you could be bored. You almost missed the feeling of lethargy and inertia you had at least experienced once or twice in junior high, but yet you could not bear to give any of those aspects of your life up, so you managed the demanding schedule as best as you could and somehow made it work.

As he had attended a different middle school than you and Yayoi, so, too, did Tabito attend a separate high school. He chose it because their soccer club was well-known, but when he was in his first year, he was scouted to join the youth team of the prestigious J1 League football club Bambi Osaka, so it ended up mattering little. When he had reached such a point, why would he concern himself with school soccer clubs? There was no higher peak that he could reach with them than the one he already had achieved, especially not at his age.

It was rare for someone so young to consistently give such excellent performances. After all, he had been chosen as a starter for his junior high team as only a first year, albeit as a midfielder instead of his preferred position as a striker, and now, at the beginning of his high school career, he had already been selected to play for Bambi Osaka. Even Yayoi had to admit that her little brother had something to him — she claimed it to be an intrinsic talent, for that meant she had a chance at inheriting it as well, but Tabito was far more modest than she and always countered these declarations, arguing that it was nothing more than constant practice.

“Don’t tell anyone this, but I’m not that good,” he told you one day, when you were watching one of Yayoi’s badminton matches together. You were sitting on his black camping chair; he had offered to you and sat on the ground instead of making you do so, though you had never complained about it.

“There’s no way you’re not,” you said. “Ask anyone, and they’ll agree with me.”

“It’s true,” he said, shrugging like it was a fact he had accepted long ago and which consequently did not bother him anymore. “Some people are handed everything, but I’m not like that. I’m not a prodigy in any sense of the word. It’s easy to seem talented when you only pick on a person’s weak spots.”

You rested your hand on his shoulder. He was taller now, and growing more by the day, so you no longer had to lean down very far to do so, though he was on the ground and you were not. Exhaling through his nose, he bent his neck so his cheek could rest on your fingers, which were perpetually cold and must’ve felt nice in the summery heat of the midafternoon.

“If you seem like you’re talented, then you really must be,” you said. “I don’t think faking things like that is as simple as you believe it to be.”

“It’s simpler than you think,” he said. “Anyways, please don’t bring it up again. I just wanted one person to know the truth of who I am.”

“And it had to be me?” you said. You couldn’t see him smile, but you felt his cheeks grow fuller as his mouth curved into the wry smirk he donned more often than not nowadays.

“Of course, it had to be you,” he affirmed. “Who else would it be?”

Who, indeed? In some ways, you were as close with her little brother as you were with Yayoi herself, though it was a different kind of relationship there. As an only child, you supposed that all-consuming affection must’ve been what one felt for a younger sibling, so you put it down to that. After all, you had known Tabito for long enough that he could probably be considered your brother as well as Yayoi’s, so what else would it be? And the way he treated you was how he would’ve treated Yayoi if she were gentler with him, so although it was definitely preferential, you never saw anything wrong with it nor felt any need to correct his loving behavior.

The end of entrance exams, which was the culmination of the many months of hellish work that you had all put in, came with bittersweet news. For the first time, you, Yayoi, and Aoyama would split ways, each of you accepted to different universities. Those two, whose steady presences at your side you took all but for granted, had paths which diverged from yours, and you wondered if ever they would converge again.

Your path took you to Tokyo, to the exact university that your parents had met at. They wept when they found out, for though they loved where they were now, their hearts still beat for the bustling city where they had spent so much of their lives.

Your only consolation was that Yayoi, too, was going to the capital city. She would attend a different school, and thus would live in a different part of the megalopolis than you would, so the distance between you would not be small, exactly, but at least it was manageable. At least your paths would not be so separate. The same could not be said for Aoyama, who was going to Kyoto for university. You would be hours apart, and as the date of your graduation grew ever nearer, this took a toll on your relationship.

The ceremony itself was beautiful, exactly the kind of celebration that was shown in movies. The choir sang your school’s anthem and the president of the school board personally handed you each your diplomas; everyone was dressed in their best clothes, and the click-clack of heels against wood echoed around the hall as students and parents alike bustled about, congratulating one another and wiping away tears at another milestone crossed.

As always, as ever, your parents were sitting with the Karasus. You knew because you sought them out when it was your turn to receive your diploma. At first, they were impossible to find in the crowd, but then, like a miracle, you saw Tabito in the back, towards the left entrance, his pensive expression vanishing the moment he realized you were looking at him. Just as he had when you had graduated elementary school, he grinned at you, and then he waved, but unlike back then, he wasn’t at all shy about it. Also unlike then, you beamed at him with no care for propriety, cameras flashing in your eyes as you clutched your diploma in front of you with one hand and used the other to wave enthusiastically back.

“What a sweet photo,” your father said when all of you rendezvoused after the official ceremony, showing you his phone. The picture was of you on stage, your face radiant with delight, your arm raised mid-wave, the gold lettering on your diploma legible thanks to the power of the zoom on his camera. “You’re so beautiful, dear. I can’t believe you’re so grown up already.”

“She’ll always be our baby,” your mother said, not even attempting to disguise the tears wetting the shadows under her eyes.

“Can we get a picture with our two graduates?” Mrs. Karasu said.

“That’s a great idea,” your father said. “It’s so special that the two of you started school together, and now you’ve graduated side by side.”

“It only happens in the movies,” Mr. Karasu said, taking a pack of tissues out of his pocket and blowing his nose with a great honk. “And yet we have an example right here in front of us. Go on, girls, get together.”

You and Yayoi did not need to be told twice, pressing your shoulders together, so close that they rose and fell in tandem. You fancied that if one was to listen to your heartbeats at that moment, they would’ve been keeping the same rhythm, for you had lived more of your lives together than not, and so even your most basic systems were familiar with one another.

“How about one of Yayoi and Tabito?” Mr. Karasu said. “Let the L/Ns take a couple with Y/N, too.”

Your parents took turns posing with you and taking photos before your father flagged down a random classmate of yours, entreating the confused boy to take a picture of the three of you together. You could already envision exactly where they were going to hang that particular shot — in the living room, framed by something gaudy and likely near the vase of false, ever-blooming flowers your mother kept on one of the tables.

The Karasus were still taking family photos, for there were quite a few more of them than there were of you, so you decided to take the moment to look for Aoyama, who had been separated from you and Yayoi in the rush of people leaving the ceremony hall. It would be nice to take a picture or two with him, too, after all.

It was not hard to find him, not given how tall he was — in the crowd, there were few who were taller, and of those few, only the lanky Tabito was one you recognized. His mother greeted you exuberantly; she had always loved you, perhaps even more than her son did, and she immediately pushed the two of you together so that she could take a million photographs which she promised she would send to you at the earliest possible convenience.

“Do you ever think that this might be the last time we’re like this?” Aoyama said, his hand resting on your hip, a politician’s grin on his square face. You hummed in agreement.

“It is the last time we’ll be like this,” you said. “You’ll be off to Kyoto soon, and I’ll go to Tokyo sooner.”

“That’s true,” he said. “We should savor it, then. While we can.”

You knew what he was hinting at, but now was not the time to consider it. Now, you were meant to be happy, so you mirrored that smile of his and posed with him as if nothing was wrong, unsure of whether, in two weeks’ time, you’d be able to look at those particular photos at all.

At some point while you were you were with Aoyama, Tabito appeared, his arms crossed over his chest. He stood a respectful distance away from Aoyama’s mother, and it was only when you stepped away from your boyfriend and left him to his family that he hesitantly approached you.

“Hi,” he said.

“Hi, yourself,” you said. “How’d you manage to find me? There’s so much going on.”

“You’re pretty hard to miss,” he said. You weren’t sure what he meant by that, but he didn’t bother with explaining himself. “You’re probably all photographed-out, but if you don’t mind…can we also take one? I don’t want you to forget that I came, too.”

“You only came for Yayoi,” you teased him. “It’ll hurt my feelings less if I don’t remember you were here at all.”

“I came for you, too!” he said earnestly, showing you both of his hands to prove he wasn’t crossing his fingers behind his back. “Really, I did.”

“So you would’ve come even if Yayoi wasn’t graduating, too?” you said.

“If you invited me, I would’ve,” he said. “I’d even skip soccer practice for it.”

“Wow, you hold me in higher regard than soccer practice? I feel like you’ve bestowed some great honor upon me,” you said. “That’s worthy of a picture, I’d say.”

You handed your phone to a nearby classmate of yours, a pretty girl who you had sat by in your Maths class. She understood quickly what you were asking of her, accepting the phone and waiting for you to get in position.

“Say, L/N, I thought you were dating Aoyama?” she said as Tabito wrapped an arm around your waist and you leaned against his side.

“I am?” you said, confused at why she had brought it up. She furrowed her brow, taking a couple of photos before giving you your phone back to ensure you approved of them.

“Who’s this, then?” she said, nodding towards Tabito. “He’s awfully cute.”

“Huh? Oh, he’s just Yayoi’s brother, it’s not like that!” you said. “But he is so cute, isn’t he? He reminds me of a baby version of Yayoi. It makes me nostalgic sometimes.”

“Yayoi…ah, Karasu! I had Modern Literature with her,” she said, snapping her fingers in recognition. “Wow. I didn’t realize she had a brother. Sorry for making a weird assumption about the two of you! I guess you’ve known one another for a while, so it makes sense that you’d be close.”

“Exactly,” you said, confused about how she had even arrived at such a conclusion in the first place when there was nothing between the two of you to hint at a relationship that was anything but platonic or familial. “Hey, thanks so much! These are awesome.”

“Anytime!” she said. “So, Karasu’s little brother. How old are you, exactly?”

“Um…” Tabito glanced over at you for help, creeping imperceptibly closer as if you were some last line of defense between him and the curious girl.

“He just finished his first year,” you said, taking pity on him and answering. The girl wrinkled her nose.

“So you’re barely a second year? Ah, that’s a bit young for me at the moment. Maybe in a little while, yeah? Call me once you’re in college and then we can talk,” she said, winking at him and fluttering her fingers in a wave before vanishing in the crowd.

You tried very hard not to laugh, but when you turned and saw Tabito’s bewildered expression, you could not help it. When he realized you were laughing at him, he turned a vermillion shade that only he was capable of becoming.

“I’m — I’m sorry she said that. I wouldn’t have agreed with her if I knew she was calling you cute in that way,” you gasped out. “Oh, my poor Tabito. I really didn’t expect that at all, or I would’ve asked Aoyama to stay and take our photos instead.”

“It’s okay,” he said. “I’d like it — um, I’d like it better if you thought of me as cute like that instead of like a baby.”

“But you are a baby,” you cooed.

“I am not!” he said. It was another rendition of the same argument you both had had in the past, and though calling this particular example an argument was certainly a stretch, you did not want to sully the night with even a joking disagreement. So instead of refuting his childish rebuttal, you embraced him tightly.

“Thank you for coming tonight,” you said. “You know I have no siblings of my own, but unlike most with that affliction, I am lucky enough to have met Yayoi, and through her gained a brother of my own.”

He shoved you off of him with a grumble. “I’m not your brother, either.”

“Alright,” you said, raising your hands in the air. “You’re not a baby, and you’re not my brother. Anything else?”

“No,” he said. “Let’s go back to our families. Your parents were looking for you. I think they all want to get dinner together.”

“Lead the way, then,” you said. “I call sitting next to you.”

He glanced at you shyly. “Okay. I don’t think you’ll have much competition there, though, so you don’t have to call it.”

“I just want to be certain. These are the final few weeks I’ll get to see you, aren’t they? I’ll miss you while I’m gone, so I have to stick to you like glue for as long as we have left,” you said, throwing a companionable arm around his shoulders for emphasis.

“Yes,” he said, bending his elbow so he could intertwine his fingers with yours, which dangled loosely by his collarbone. “Stick to me. Until the day you have to leave for good, stay by my side.”

The month in between graduation and the beginning of university was a whirlwind of receiving congratulations from random relatives, packing to move into your new apartment, and visiting your friends from high school, who you might not see for many months or perhaps ever again, now that you were all going in your separate directions.

More than anywhere else, you spent your hours at the Karasu residence. You never did anything particularly special, and neither did you bring up the ever-nearing date of yours and Yayoi’s departures; when the three of you were together — for Tabito insisted on accompanying you no matter how much Yayoi protested — you pretended like it was a normal break, like at the beginning of April you’d all once again return to your respective high schools and things would be exactly as they always had been.

You’d go to your favorite restaurants or run to ice cream shops late at night, laughing and teasing another as you licked at your cones and wandered around the streets. Sometimes you’d all go to the playground and pretend like you were children, sliding down slides that were only twice the length of your bodies and climbing across monkey bars with your feet brushing against the mulch. You’d sit on the swings and make Tabito push you as payback for the many times you had done so for him when he was younger, though he never viewed it as a punishment, and Yayoi would build castles in the sandpit, the grains digging into her skin and standing out in bright red patterns against her pale knees. Other days, if it was raining or any of you were particularly tired, you’d play video games, Tabito laying against your legs as he always did and Yayoi perched on the armrest like a gargoyle.

It was simple and wonderful and easy, but the same could not be said for your relationship with Aoyama. There was a tension between you both which had never been there before, and though he had claimed at graduation that he wanted to savor the last few weeks of your time together, you found yourself thinking more and more frequently that you wished you had ended things when you were still happy with one another.

You fought with him about random things, so irritable were you with one another. He accused you of spending all of your time with Yayoi, even though you’d be so close to her once the next year began, and ignoring him completely. You bit back with ten times the force, telling him plainly that you loved her first, and that even though you’d be nearer to her than him, the two of you would still be apart in a way you never had been, not since you both were six years old. And what of Tabito? What of the boy you had known since he was so young, that boy you had grown up alongside? You would leave him behind for good, and you could not bear the thought.

But in turn, this only angered him further. You like him, Aoyama accused you. You like him more than you like me. You weren’t sure how to respond to this. Of course you liked Tabito more than you liked Aoyama. You liked him more than you liked just about anybody, excepting his sister. Yet when Aoyama said it, it didn’t seem as innocuous as you knew it to be. It was the same thing that that girl from your math class had brought up, that there was something else between you and Tabito. You found it so distasteful that your words turned to poison.

You can’t say that, you’d snap, over and over, however fruitless it always was. He’s a kid. You can’t say that.

Aoyama would laugh bitterly, burying his face in his hands. Sometimes, he’d seem so tired and hollow and sick of it all that you’d regret it, regret whatever had happened between you two that had made you end up like this, but then he’d look up at you again and you’d know that this was the inevitable outcome.

It’s only two years. He’d remind you of that fact every time, and what could you say? It was the truth, and the same thing Tabito always insisted to your deaf ears. Two years or maybe less. 

It’s different, you’d huff when you could not think of anything else. Aoyama would sigh and then one of you would apologize: sometimes you, sometimes him. After that you’d kiss, and things would settle into a distorted version of your old comfort, but each time you ran through that fight or one that was similar, it became a little more difficult and your relationship fractured a little more.

There was no one great mistake. You couldn’t pick out a single moment when everything went wrong, when one of you committed a grave and unforgivable sin. It was just the accumulation of many small grievances, the stress of both of your impending moves as well as the knowledge that the end for you both was near, that blew up into an enormous fight, the kind of confrontation that was only frightening when it was finally over.

You both shouted about everything and yet nothing. The relationship, in its best days, had never had anything worth complaining about, and so it was difficult to find something to genuinely be upset over. He insisted you were cheating on him, or that, if you were not already, you soon would. You spat insults at him that you were not proud of, calling him controlling and cruel and stupid, even if he wasn’t really any of these things, and definitely not in the great quantity you insinuated he was.

I joined the art club for you. That was the last thing he said, when it was officially over and your fist was clenched around the doorknob. I could’ve been a national champion at any sport. Soccer or basketball or baseball or whatever. I could’ve been great, but I stayed in the goddamn art club because I wanted to be with you.

You glanced at him over your shoulder, stepping onto his doorstep, the rage leaving you in a minute, replaced by a deep sense of shame, but also, peculiarly, of freedom. Do you wish you had made a different choice now? Now that it’s come to this, I mean.

He laughed bitterly. Nah. Somehow, I can’t seem to regret it.

A lump formed in your throat, but bravely and surely, you swallowed it back. If you cried now, then you were afraid you’d never leave him. I see. Well, good luck in Kyoto.

Good luck with wherever your life takes you, he said. Tell Yayoi I said the same to her. 

I will, you promised.

Tell that brother of hers, too, he said. And tell him you love him while you’re at it.

There was no merit in responding to that final statement, which was as much an assertion of his perceived correctness as it was a heartfelt attempt at reconciliation. So you turned around, allowing your tears to fall when you heard the door shut behind you, the streetlights guiding your way home as you cried silently to yourself.

You never did see him again. It was probably for the best, anyways. A few days later, you were off to Tokyo, with an entire life ahead of you — a life that had no longer had a place for the dalliances of your past.

You and Yayoi, as well as your parents, took the train to Tokyo together. Tabito stayed at home with his grandmother, though he bemoaned the turn of events; he was about to start his second year of high school, though, so how could he justify tagging along? He did come to the station, however, pretending to be nonchalant and ever-so-cool, like he didn’t care one bit that you and Yayoi were leaving for good.

“I hope you’re not considering a career in the film industry, Tabito,” you said. The three of you were sitting on a bench together, yours and Yayoi’s suitcases at your feet, your parents waiting in line at the window to receive your tickets.

“Why not?” he said stiffly.

“You’re horrible at acting,” you said, your arms going around his firm bicep, your forehead pressing to the curve of his shoulder. “It’s okay for you to be sad.”

“I’m not sad,” he said, his voice a dull, trained monotone.

“I am,” you said. “We’re not going to be like this again for a while. Not ever, in one sense of the word. I think it’s natural to be sad about that.”

“Hmph,” Yayoi said, from Tabito’s other side. She was like her brother, but with marginally more of an aptitude at theatrics. Still, there was a curious sheen to her eyes, a dampness to the typically fiery irises. “That’s not true.”

“It is,” you said. “Things will be different no matter what. I don’t think it’s a bad development, but it’s a true one. We’ll — we’ll be apart, Yayoi, and we’ll have to take taxis to visit each other instead of being close enough to walk.”

“You’ll still be able to visit each other,” Tabito said, his face stoic but his voice trembling. “I won’t even get that. I’ll be hours away and all alone.”

“You have your friends and your soccer team,” you said.

“They’re not you,” he said. You weren’t sure if he meant it for the both of you or you alone. Selfishly, you wished for it to be the latter, though you could not say why and had no claim to him for it to be the case. “Nobody could ever be you.”

“If our mom got pregnant again, someone could be like us,” Yayoi offered with a wavering, half-hearted laugh. “You’ll have another sister then. Name her Ya-Y/N and it’ll be like we never left.”

“I’ll be older than her,” Tabito said. “She’ll be a crying, whiny baby.”

“Sounds like you’ll get along well, then,” Yayoi said. He scoffed and smacked her on the arm. She yelped in dismay and rubbed the sore spot, glaring at him all the while, which did inject some levity into the atmosphere.

Your spirits immediately plummeted once again when the train arrived with a rushing, roaring wind, coasting to a stop, the doors heaving open with a sigh. There was a looming emptiness in every car, mirroring the pit in your stomach and the jagged, frayed tears in your heart, which widened with every step you took towards the edge of the platform.

“See you around, bro,” Yayoi said, doing an elaborate handshake with Tabito. “Good luck with soccer. Call me if our parents are being annoying; I’ll talk to them. You can count on it.”

“Thanks, bro,” he said. “Stay safe in Tokyo. Maybe try to get a boyfriend or something, if you can manage it.”

“Shut up, you little twerp. I definitely can! I’m going to end up dating a model, just you wait and watch!” she said, punching him in the arm lightheartedly and then leaping onto the train without a backwards glance, leaving you and Tabito alone. Your parents were waiting inside with your luggage, and you knew Yayoi would probably be confused about why you hadn’t followed her, but for some reason, you found yourself hesitating.

“You’ll be able to get home from the station by yourself okay?” you fretted.

“Yes, of course,” he said, the corners of his mouth curving up in amusement. “Despite what you and Yayoi seem to believe, I’m not a baby, and besides, my house isn’t that far from here. It won’t be a long walk. I’ll be okay — I’ve had to do worse exercise in practice.”

“Okay, but just be careful,” you said, shifting from foot to foot uneasily, playing with your fingers. “You have people who can help you if something happens and we’re not there, right?”

“I do,” he said.

“And — and stay away from pools,” you instructed him firmly. “Because you suck at swimming and I won’t be there to look out for you anymore.”

“I would’ve done that even if you didn’t tell me to,” he said. “Quit nagging me, Y/N. It’s seriously annoying. Don’t you have to go? You’ll miss the train if you don’t hurry up.”

On cue, the train let out a warning whistle. You swallowed and then nodded, but you didn’t move. You didn’t want to leave him. That was what you realized in that very moment: it wasn’t your entire life that you cared about abandoning. There wasn’t anything much you’d miss about your hometown, and certainly nothing you’d miss more than him. Tabito, your Tabito — because he was yours in a way you were loath to share with even Yayoi, who was his actual sister, and you were suddenly so certain that it had always been so and you had just never discerned it.

“Go on,” he said after a second, nudging you towards the train. “Really, you’ll be in trouble soon.”

You thought that you should tell him, but there were not words enough to describe it, so you did not. You could not. You only forced a smile and then stepped onto the train, clutching the metal bar and facing the platform so that you could gaze at him one final time. The train whistled again, and then Tabito’s expression changed into something strict and determined as he raced forward, skidding to a stop on the painted yellow border right in front of you.

“Did something happen?” you said. He shook his head, motioning for you to come closer. Still holding onto the metal bar for balance, you brought your face to his, thinking he might want to whisper one final secret in your ear before he no longer could. Yet he did not; instead, he pressed his lips to your cheek, one of his hands holding the other carefully, so gentle despite the roughness of his calloused palms.

“Bye, Y/N,” he said. “Don’t forget me while you’re in Tokyo.”

The doors closed and the train shot off as you took a step back, too stunned to shout out a final farewell until it was too late and all you could do was watch as his waving form receded into the distance.

[sturnioz]

thinkin bout toxicex!matt just bc of the way he said 'thats annoying' in the new video when he like forced nick to the ground n took his headphones off LMAO frfr he looked so good in the new vid arrghh

"no, no listen. listen to me, thats annoying. you think it isnt annoying seeing you go off and get all handsy with other guys? now you're on my ass for doing what you did. no, no, you fucking listen to me." (spoiler alert the 'guy' was just one of your gay friends because you wanted matt jealous)

n he's cornering you into a wall and scoffing as you cry. big fat tears dripping down your cheeks and he's squeezing them with his fingers, a faux frown on his face because he wants you back so badly even with all your bullshit about 'healing' and 'moving on'.

"shut the fuck up, stop your whinin'. you're acting like im the bad guy here when i'm obviously not."

so so manipulative and toxic :/ proceeded to drive you back to his house n dick you down all slow on ur back as you whine about how overstimulated you feel and how this messes up all the 'progress' and 'healing' you've made. he does not care tho!!! a hand pushing your body down as you squirm and he js keeps going sighh

oh vi you are fucking insane. this awakened something deep within me FUCk i love toxic and manipulation tropes in fics... and imagining toxicex!matt with this ???? im weak in the knees. im wobbly. my pussy yodels. my hair is being ripped out. my back is arched !!!!!!

[im-out-of-it]

PSA: JUST A STUPID SAPPY POST ABOUT ONE OF MY FAVS MR ALEXANDER LIGHTWOOD-BANE, A NATIONAL TREASURE (sort of long so read at your own risk)

one of my favorite things about show Alec is that he truly does not give a fuck. if you hurt the people he cares about, he will call you out on it. just a short little rant about the difference between book and show Alec. book Alec does not have any autonomy or is allowed any thoughts that don’t include jace. “I wish I could fight like jace, I wish I could act as jace does, or JACE JACE JACE. CC STOP LET ALEC BE HIS OWN PERSON FOR FUCKS SAKE

this is because when CC (just my personal opinion.) started writing about Alec, she thought he didn’t deserve to be his own person. she believed everyone should be obsessed with jace because well, she is and that’s the way it should be, right? and indeed, she planned to kill him off in the first book.

I’ve been having some thoughts since finishing the show because I don’t know who created show Alec and made him who he is (probably Matt, let’s be real) but thank you so much. Alec is his own person with his own feelings and his own thoughts. show Alec is a tremendous fighter and is seen to take on jace extremely well. book Alec for some weird reason isn’t a skilled fighter. which I’ll never understand but whatever lmao

no one in the book is allowed to call out jace for anything and if they do, it’s apparent that they’re “jealous” of jace. if jace is the best shadowhunter alive, then why does his worthless ass need saving every single book? and why is that person always Alec?

Jace treats Alec as a lap dog as wonderful Simon beautifully pointed out in the show. this is also something CC would never have allowed. Alec will call out Jace, the new high warlock of Brooklyn (ugh Lorenzo), clary, aldertree, the inquisitor, his parents, anyone who steps in his way. I think it’s such a big difference with book and show Alec.

I so badly wished to love book Alec (and trust me, I truly did try) but I just can’t. he doesn’t have a mind of his own and if he does, his role is to serve jace or be the funny stereotypical gay. he’s biphobic, hates that his boyfriend has a past, can’t stand up for himself, like he’s not even his own person. he can’t even have his own pov for some of the most important parts of his story. this is a love post for show Alec because that’s the Alec we deserved to read about. one who speaks his own mind, loves and protects those he cares about, and will take no one’s shit.

he’s literally the only one who didn’t trust clary or Sebastian but everyone (except maybe Izzy) who acted as though Alec was the problem. seriously just a big thank you to mending Alec and making him one of the best reasons to watch the show 🫶🏼

I’m in love with Alec and I’m so happy with his growth 🥹 it’s truly the Alec and Magnus show and I’m so here for it 👏🏼

[luvangelbreak]

Deprived | Sixteen

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11 Part 12 Part 13 Part 14 Part 15 Part 17 Part 18 Part 19 Part 20 Part 21 Part 22 Part 23 matthew sturniolo x layla venita (female!oc) summary: everyone knows the story of the bad boy and the good girl but what happens when the school's most popular boy, Matthew Sturniolo, and the girl who notoriously is never there, Layla Venita, cross paths. warnings: swearing, drug use (weed), mentions of drugs (cocaine, weed), suggestive, NOT PROOFREAD!! word count: 4.8k a/n: dramaaaaaaaaa. i was really on a roll with this chapter it’s so long LMAO

pov: layla

"You doing anything after school?" Matt asked me as he stole some of Nick's fries, causing his brother to hit him on the arm and I shook my head.

"No, but you are," I pointed out and he furrowed his eyebrows for a moment, "Training, Matthew."

"How did you forget you have training when you have been playing hockey for the last 5 years but she remembered?" Nate chuckled in disbelief from across the table and Matt shrugged.

"Oh Layls!" Allie chirped up from beside me, interrupting her own conversation with Mia who was sitting on her right, "Do you have a dress for prom yet?"

"Uh, I'm probably not going," I told her honestly and her face dropped sadly.

"What? Why not?" she asked, disappointment clearly in her tone and I shrugged.

"It's just not my thing," I answered honestly and she pouted slightly.

"Come on, it will be so fun! I can help you pick out a dress and everything," she pleaded with me and I gave her an apologetic look.

"She doesn't wanna go, Allie. Drop it," Mia grumbled from beside her, making my face drop at the rudeness of her tone.

"I'll think about it, okay?" I said kindly and her face lit up again before nodding, "Are all of you going?"

"Yeah," Chris nodded, clearly seeming unimpressed but agreed to go nonetheless, "No thanks to Al."

"You could've said no," Allie shrugged, smiling at him widely and he smiled, shaking his head and I leaned over, placing my hand under Allie's chin.

"How can you say no to this adorable face?" I asked sarcastically and Allie tapped my hand away lightly, a snicker falling out of her mouth.

"Shut up," she rolled her eyes playfully and Matt nudged my thigh with the back of his hand, making me look at him.

"You wanna come over after training?" he asked and I pursed my lips, giving him an apologetic look.

"I can't. Maybe tomorrow though," I told him and he nodded before turning his attention back to the group, "Nick, we still need to get our suits."

"I can't get mine till Allie tells me her fucking dress colour because we have to be matching," Chris chimed in again and I looked at Allie with raised eyebrows.

"You are going together?" I asked and she nodded happily.

"He said the only way he'd go to prom is if I agreed to go as his date that way he isn't stuck with anyone he doesn't like," she laughed and I smiled, nodding my head before I glanced at Chris.

"Matt," Mia chimed in catching not only Matt's attention but mine, "Remember your tie has to be red because my dress is red."

I felt a wave of jealousy pulse through me and I looked at the table before me. I had no right to be jealous, Matt and I weren't together in any capacity and he and Mia had been friends for years. It was just the fact it was Mia he was going with that pissed me off.

Of fucking course he's going to prom with Mia.

"Right," Matt nodded, seemingly ignoring Mia for the majority of the day. My brain had been wracking what they could've talked about to make him give her the cold shoulder like he was, I wanted to know if I caused it.

I didn't care about Mia but I knew Matt didn't want to lose her as a friend. So instead of starting an argument or causing a fight, I remained silent and chewed at my lip.

"Nick," Nate spoke up again catching Nick's attention and I pushed my food away from me, suddenly losing my appetite completely, "Are we matching too or what?"

"I thought you were going with Gemma?" Nick asked, clear confusion on his face and Nate shook his head, taking a sip of his water.

"Decided not to. Would rather be with you guys," he shrugged and Nick nodded in response.

"Why don't one of you take Layla?" Allie spoke up and I turned my head to look at her with a frown, "That way she also has a date because we can always bring someone else."

"Allie, I don't even know if I'm going yet," I responded and she shrugged, looking at me as she sipped on her iced tea.

"Just as a backup plan," she answered and I chuckled with a shake of my head.

"I was planning on bringing Jake since Nate said he was already going with Gemma," Nick answered honestly and Allie raised her hands triumphantly.

"Great! Nate, you can take Layla that way we all have a date!" Allie cheered and I looked at Nate, studying his reaction and he shrugged.

"I'm cool with that. Layls?" he asked, seemingly unbothered about whether or not he had a date.

"If I'm going, then sure," I shrugged in response and he nodded, taking another sip of his water.

"What colour dress are you thinking?" Allie asked, whipping her phone out of her pocket and I gave her a deadpanned look before her gaze met mine again, "In case you want to come! Nate is buying a suit regardless so might as well match it to a colour you like if you do come."

"Probably black," I shrugged, not wanting to argue with her and she nodded, tapping away on her phone.

"Makes my life easier," Nate shrugged, an amused smile on his lips and I smiled at him, both of us finding humour in the situation.

"What about this?" Allie leaned over, shoving her phone in front of my face catching me off guard as my eyes adjusted to the screen. It was a sparkly black strapless dress and I shrugged. I looked at the price and my eyes widened.

"Allie, I can't afford that," I answered quietly and she dismissed me with a wave of her hand.

"Don't worry about the price. I'm looking for dress styles you like," she answered quickly before tapping away on her phone again. Matt tapped my thigh once again before leaning over.

"Are you really gonna go with Nate?" he asked and I turned my head to look at him, a small expression that showed he was displeased written on his face.

"I don't know if I'm going at all yet. This is Allie's doing," I shrugged and he hummed, looking down at the table again making me smile as I leaned up to whisper in his ear, "Now who's jealous?"

"What about this one?" Allie once again leaned over, showing me a photo of a black halter neck dress that seemed to be a silk material. I shook my head knowing the shape of the dress would look awful on me, "Okay we need to figure out what kinda dresses you like."

"I don't wear dresses Allie," I gave her a half smile as Matt wrapped his arm around my shoulders and she nodded.

"Even more of a reason to find a dress you actually like," she announced as she went back to her phone making me smile in amusement.

"You could just not wear anything," Matt whispered into my ear and I punched his thigh making him groan.

"Don't be such a guy," I rolled my eyes, a smile still on my lips as I looked up at him. He shook his head, a slight smirk on his lips. He placed a kiss on the side of my temple.

"What's going on here?" Nate asked causing us to turn our heads to look at him.

"Oh, Matt didn't tell you guys?" Chris asked, a malicious smirk on his face and I let my smile drop.

"Chris," Matt said in a warning tone but Chris, as per usual, didn't listen.

"They fucked last night," Chris said casually and I threw my hands to my face, my cheeks lighting up red.

"What?" Allie gasped next to me and I didn't dare take my hands away from my face.

"For fucks sake Chris, don't say that! We didn't!" Matt protested and I curled closer to him, the embarrassment making me hide like a child.

"So you didn't sleep there last night?" Chris retorted and Matt sighed, running a comforting thumb up and down my arm.

"Yes, I stayed there bu-"

"And you said that you did stuff," Chris taunted further and I sighed, not wanting to look at the judgment on their faces yet.

"Chris, shut the fuck up," Matt mumbled through gritted teeth and I finally pulled my hands away from my face. Nate's face just looked surprised and Allie looked somewhat happy but Mia had the biggest scowl on her face I'd ever seen.

"Are you fucking serious?" Mia screeched causing Matt to whip his head to look at her, "You had sex with her?"

"I didn't!" Matt said in the same tone and I closed my eyes, heads turning to look at us from all around the cafeteria.

"And I'm supposed to believe that? Look at you!" she replied loudly motioning between us and I looked at Allie who was frowning at Mia.

"Mia, calm down. It's not the end of the world," Nate raised his eyebrows at her and she scoffed, rolling her eyes dramatically.

"I guess whoever wrote that shit on your locker was right. You are a slut," Mia mumbled so quietly I almost didn't catch it but when I did, my blood ran cold with nothing but rage.

"Mia, what the fuck?" Allie said in disbelief of her best friend saying such a crude thing.

I took a moment to think whether or not it was worth it to fight her and get myself expelled. I had been trying so hard to keep up with school and I wasn't going to throw it away for her.

So instead, my mind travelled back to when I saw the locker and looked around the room. I never once saw Mia and I know Matt had gotten rid of it by the time I went back to get my things for English.

"Hey, Mia?" I said, grabbing her attention and she looked at me with annoyed eyes, "How do you know what was written on my locker?"

"I saw it," she squinted her eyes at me and I nodded, leaning forward so Matt's arm slid off of my shoulders, now wrapped around my lower back.

"When did you see it exactly? Because I didn't see you anywhere when I first walked into the school," I raised my eyebrows and she stilled for a moment, "Did you guys see her when I went to the bathroom?"

I looked around the table and everyone shook their heads before I looked back at Mia who grumbled, "I saw it before you guys got there."

"Why were you there before us? You never come to school early," I pointed out and she once again stilled, her pissed demeanour turning nervous as she glanced between everyone.

"I had to do some stuff for cheer," she shrugged, trying to play it off and before I could speak again, Allie interrupted me.

"Practice isn't till after school. No one ever comes to school early for cheer, Mia," Allie deadpanned, calling her own best friend out and Mia shook her head.

"What are you trying to say? That I did it?" she asked, placing a hurt hand on her heart.

"Nope. You made that connection on your own," I told her, not letting my rage shine through at her as the guys just looked between us like a tennis match with slack jaws, "It's a funny coincidence though, isn't it? The one time you were at school early there's shit written on my locker."

"I didn't do anything!" she huffed and I hummed, nodding my head once again as I smiled at her sweetly.

"For the record, Mia, Matt and I didn't sleep together. In fact, the people that I'm rumoured to sleep with I never have. I can't say the same about you," I shoved away from the table, picked my bag up from the floor and walked out of the cafeteria without another word.

"Mia, what the fuck is wrong with you?" I heard Matt's voice yell at her as I walked out of the cafeteria doors and towards the exit of the school. I pulled my phone out of my pocket, sending Matt a quick text to say I wouldn't be at school for the rest of the day before I exited the grounds, beginning my trek home.

+++

After messaging Wes and telling him I was going to deliver for him earlier than originally planned, he agreed it was a good idea and invited me to stay for a bit.

"Why does it look like someone shit in your breakfast?" he asked as soon as he opened the old green apartment door, paint falling off at various places.

"Just had a shit day," I shook my head, stepping inside the small compound before I closed and locked the door behind me, "You wanted two ounces, right?"

"Yeah. You got the coke too?" he asked and I nodded, picking up the two ounces of weed out of my bag and throwing it on his kitchen counter before I pulled out the small bag of coke.

"He only had an 8-ball but I can get you more next week," I told him honestly and he nodded, counting up the cash before handing it to me and I placed it in my bag. I went to turn around and exit the building again but I was stopped.

"Where you goin'?" he asked and I spun around, looking at his long mop of blonde hair, "You look like you had a stressful day, babe. Chill with me for a bit."

"I don't know Wes," I trailed off, not knowing if I wanted to hang around here for too long.

"Come on. I got this new shit from Chase. It will make you see God," he said, holding up a small bag of weed and I chewed my lip, really needed some sort of a relief.

Unfortunately, I caved and said, "Fine. But I'm only staying till six."

"Fine by me," he nodded, taking the packet and throwing himself on the old leather couch. I sat beside him since it was a two-seater, not allowing much space between us but I was used to it at this point.

I'd been delivering to Wes for 2 years now and he never once made me uncomfortable, except for the time he smacked my ass 2 months ago because he was high off his ass and thought it would be funny. Since then, he'd apologised multiple times and I let it go.

"More shit at school?" he asked in regards to my tense demeanour and I nodded, falling back into the couch as he grabbed the rolling paper.

"Just some bitch saying stupid shit," I mumbled angrily and he hummed, quickly rolling a joint like I'd seen him to hundreds of times.

"Rich?" he questioned and I chuckled, nodding immediately and he rolled his eyes, sliding a filter into the joint, "Of course."

"There's this guy though," I told him honestly as he began sealing the joint with the moisture from his tongue as he looked at me with raised eyebrows, "He stayed over last night."

"Look at you! Finally getting some dick," he chuckled to himself and I shoved his shoulder with a roll of my eyes, "They grow up so fast."

"Shut up, dude. We didn't go the full mile," I rolled my eyes and he chuckled once again.

"It's a start. I don't remember the last time you told me about anyone," he pointed out and I shrugged as he picked up one of the many lighters littering the coffee table in front of us.

"Yeah well," I trailed off at he lit the end of the joint, "His friends are nice too. One of them wants to take me dress shopping for prom."

He took a hit of the joint, keeping the smoke in his lungs for a moment before he passed it to me, "I thought you hated that shit."

"I do," I replied as he handed me the joint and I took a hit before continuing, "But she really wants me to go for some reason and one of their friends said he would take me as his date if I do go."

"Why isn't Romeo taking you?" he asked as I took another hit before I handed it back to him and I let out a bitter laugh.

"The girl who's being a bitch is one of his friends and they've been planning on going together way before I came into the picture," I explained and his eyebrows furrowed in confusion, taking a moment to inhale before he spoke again.

"I'm so glad I dropped out this shit sounds way too confusing," he mumbled and I took the joint from him again, taking two more hits in a row, "Alright chill out. You're gonna green out if you're not careful this shit is strong."

"I'm fine," I shrugged, handing him the joint again as I sunk back into the couch further, the effects of the drug already hitting me, "I needed something to take the edge off anyway."

"You already finished that bag I gave you?" he asked and I nodded, rolling my head to the side to look at him as he joined me in sinking back into the couch.

"Dad took half of it so yeah," I replied and he rolled his eyes, jumping off the couch and walking to the kitchen. He returned moments later with another small bag in hand and threw it into my lap, "Wes, I don't need it."

"Take the fucking bag, Layla," he smiled down at me and I pursed my lips before nodding, sliding the small plastic-wrapped weed into my bag.

"Thanks," I gave him a thankful smile as he took another hit, sitting back down on the couch beside me, handing me the joint once again. We continued handing the joint back and forth in silence until it was down to the filter before he threw it in the ashtray on the table.

"Ya know," he started, making me turn my head towards him lazily, "You're always one of my favourite people to smoke with. We should do it more."

"Because I'm just so charming," I smile at him dopily making him chuckle, the drug taking its full effects slowly on both of us.

"You're just chill," he shrugged, sliding further into the couch and I chuckled, laying my head back on the top of the couch as my eyes began blurring in and out of focus, the ceiling seeming so far away.

"You think I should go to prom out of spite?" I asked, my words mumbled from my dry mouth the drug had created and he hummed.

"Show up hot as fuck, make her mad and make him regret his decision of not taking you instead," he laughed to himself and I smiled, nodding my head in agreement even though I wasn't sure he could see me.

"Sounds like a plan," I answered and he hummed in response, my body going limp from the strong weed, "What is this shit?"

"Blue Dream," he responded and I lifted my head to look at him, "Isn't it sick?"

"Dude," I squinted my eyes at them as they now felt heavy, "You know this shit is supposed to make you mad horny, right?"

"Oh fuck," he began laughing to himself and I couldn't help but smile at his idiocy, shaking my head in disbelief, "I had no idea. Chase just said it's hella strong."

"On that note," I leaned forward and stood up lazily, "I'm gonna go."

"No come on," he whined and I looked down at him, my eyelids heavy and my breathing laboured.

"I'm not about to stay here and watch you get a fucking boner," I laughed as I picked up my bag, "I like you dude but not that much."

"Next time we'll smoke something else I swear," he leaned forward, holding out his hand for a fist bump which I quickly reciprocated, "You gonna be good to walk home?"

"Yeah, no worries. I'll see you next time," I waved as I unlocked the door, swinging it open before closing it behind me. I waddled down the steps of the apartment, making my way onto the road where the sun was starting to go down.

As I walked down the pavement, my legs wobbled and my vision became less focused. I was used to walking around high but I'd never had Blue Dream and I could tell its effects of horniness were hitting me. I could barely focus, the wind around me swaying me as I walked. I almost tripped onto the road and I sighed, deciding to sit down on the curb for a moment.

I pulled my phone out of my pocket, realising it was already 5:30 and Matt would be done with his training by now. Through my foggy thoughts and wanting to be with someone right now, I clicked on his contact and waited as it rang in my ear.

"Hey, Layls," he answered after two rings and my fave immediately lit up, the sound of his voice bringing joy to the chemicals in my brain.

"Hey baby," I mumbled, the words falling off my tongue like honey, "Whatcha doin'?"

"I just got out of the shower. Are you okay, pretty girl?" he asked, sounding confused by my tone and I nodded regardless of if he could see me.

"I'm great! I just miss you," I whined, throwing my head down onto my knees that were pulled to my chest. A car drove past me quickly and I lifted my head, the sound startling me.

"Where are you?" he asked, his voice laced with concern but all I could focus on was the rasp of his voice, heat travelling directly between my thighs.

"On the corner of Valine and West Street," I mumbled, throwing my head back down onto my knees and I heard shuffling on his end of the phone.

"What are you doing there?" he asked, his voice still laced with worry and I sighed dreamily.

"I just had to drop some stuff off to a friend but my legs are tired. I don't wanna walk home," I whined loudly and I heard him hum, doors closing before a click.

"I'm coming to get you, pretty girl. Can you stay on the phone?" he asked and I hummed in response, my stomach igniting at the thought of seeing him right now.

"I'll do anything for you," I responded, my voice filled with seduction and lust before I giggled at myself.

"What did you take?" he questioned and I rolled my head to the side, the cold breeze feeling nice on my skin.

"Just smoked a little bit," I answered honestly and he sighed before mumbling something I didn't catch, "Can you keep talking to me?"

"I'm almost there. I'm like three minutes away, okay?" he responded and I sensed a slight annoyance in his tone but I brushed it off as I hummed, squeezing my thighs together, "Are you alone?"

"Yeah," I sighed, lifting my head and looking around at the lifeless street around me.

"Okay, I'll be there in a sec. Just don't move," he answered hurriedly and I sighed dreamily once again.

"I like your voice," I mumbled, closing my eyes as I listened to the sound of the engine revving as he drove and I heard him chuckle, my heart filling with joy at the sound.

"Thanks, pretty girl," he answered and I could hear the smile in his voice making my smile widen.

"I just like you in general. You're really nice to me," I mumbled, a dopey smile on my lips as I let my eyes flutter open and I once again heard him chuckle.

"I like you too," he answered softly and my smile widened, "I'm a minute away."

"Thank god," I let out a breath of relief, making sure my bag was on my shoulder as I began standing up, losing my balance briefly, "Whoops."

"You okay?" he asked and I hummed, regaining my composure, sliding my bag further up my shoulder as I pressed the phone to my ear. I looked up to see headlights coming towards me before Matt said, "Hey, pretty girl."

I smiled at him, despite being blinded by the headlights before I waltzed over to the car, hanging up the phone as I pulled the passenger door open, "Heyyy."

"Oh my god," he shook his head with a smile as I jumped in the car, slamming the door behind me before I clicked my seatbelt in.

"You look good," I smiled at him as I leaned over, pressing a kiss to his cheek. My eyes scanned his body, noticing that he was wearing a white hoodie, blue plaid pyjama pants and not shoes, "You didn't even put shoes on."

"Shoes weren't exactly my concern when I left the house," he raised his eyebrows at me and I pursed my lips, holding back a giggle.

"Sorry," I bit my bottom lip and he shook his head, a soft smile on his lips, "Can I be honest?"

"Of course," he nodded and I smiled up at him dopily again.

"I'm really high," I giggled, tucking my messy hair behind my ear.

"Really? I didn't notice," he answered sarcastically and I hummed, leaning over the console as I placed my hand on his jaw, pulling his face towards mine. I pressed my lips against his, the feeling of his body so close to mine making heat travel directly between my thighs.

"I missed you," I mumbled against his lips and he took that as an opportunity to slide his tongue in my mouth dancing with my own. I got lost in the feeling of his mouth against mine, my heightened sense making it feel like I was in heaven.

"Okay," he pulled away from me before placing another quick peck on my lips, "I'm not about to get into this while you're high."

"No," I whined, pulling his face to mine once again and he snickered against my lips making me smile once again before he pulled away again.

"Baby," he whispered, placing his hand on my cheek to lift my head to look at him, the pet name making my heart swell, "I'm not doing anything unless you're sober."

"But I'm so horny," I whined, leaning my head on his shoulder and I felt his chest shake with a laugh.

"I'm aware," he said through a laugh before I lifted my head to look at him with a pout, "But that's because you're high."

"Why do you have to be such a morally right man?" I rolled my eyes, a smile still on my lips and he brushed my hair behind my ear as I melted into his touch.

"You want me to drop you home?" he asked and I shook my head, my face turning sour at the thought of having to face my father.

"Can I stay at yours? I don't wanna deal with my dad," I frowned and his face softened, "I don't wanna go home."

"You can come to mine, it's okay," he began stroking my cheek with his thumb and I let my head slump against his hand, the touch making me feel calm again, "You can lay your head on my shoulder, pretty girl. I gotta drive."

I nodded lazily, moving my hand off of his hand and placing it on his right shoulder. He took the car out of park and drove down the road. I hummed to the song playing on the radio and he used his right hand to reach over the console, placing it on my thigh and running his thumb up and down.

"Don't do that," I mumbled, moving his hand further down so it was closer to my knee, "You're just gonna make me wanna fuck you even more."

"Sorry," he said through a chuckle as I closed my eyes, adjusting my head on his shoulder, "You have no filter when you're high."

"Why do you think I made you put my hand up my hoodie the first time I was high around you?" I mumbled, smiling to myself and he hummed, "Wes didn't tell me the strain until after we had it and he didn't know it made you horny."

"Wes?" he asked and I forgot he didn't know who Wes was.

"Mhm. Been friends with him for two years," I explained and he hummed, sounding slightly annoyed, "I left after he told me though. He had no idea."

"I'm sure he didn't," he grumbled and I smiled, looking up to see a frown now covering his face as he drove with his left hand.

"Don't be jealous. He's like a brother to me," I leaned up, kissing his jaw lightly making him sigh.

"Mhm," he hummed and I trailed kisses down his neck, sucking the flesh under his ear making him let out a heavy breath, "Layls."

"Yeah?" I mumbled against his skin, getting lost in the way his body reacted to me.

"I'm driving," he mumbled, his grip on my thigh tightening slightly making me smile against him.

"Then focus on the road," I smirked into him and he let out another breath, tilting his head to the left to give me more access. I continued to suck and kiss all over his neck as his breathing got heavier.

Suddenly, the car turned a corner before coming to a halt and I looked up to see we were already at his house. I pursed my lips, hiding my smile as I looked at the purple dot I had created on his skin.

"Let's go," he said, pulling his hand off of my thigh as he turned the car off before jumping out of the car and I followed his actions as he walked inside quietly.

tags:

@ilovechrissturniolo1 @leprechaunbirthdaygirl @sturnfix @lilsstvrn @sturniololol @dsturniolo @sturniolowhore @jebbie-project-blog @chrisstankyleg @lov3bug @pinklittleflower @thatcrazybitch-69 @trinity2058 @alorsxsturn

[hoetolegist]

Let me have a taste

Summary: Getting married is not something you want to do right now but sucking off the son of your mom's boss is

Warnings: sexual content, oral sex (m receiving), face-fucking, semi public, 2 seconds of jealous Stefan, oral sex (f receiving), protected sex, dirty talk, language (y'all know I like to curse), y/n is a riding pro, slight choking, explicit kinda

Authors note: this story was low-key an excuse for me to practice my blowjob writing skills lmao so the sex and the ending wasn't really thought out much nonetheless I hope you like it. p.s there's more plot than I thought oop-

Every time you flew down to Mystic falls to visit your parents, your mom always ended up talking about how disappointed she was about you being 24 and single. This time was no different. You sat at the round glass table with your mom and your dad, eating a casserole that your mom made a few hours prior to your visit. It hasn't even been 10 seconds into eating before your mom cleared her throat to speak, you mentally prepared yourself for what was to come

"Y/n" she began "you're twenty four. You need to settle down and start a family"

You inwardly groaned and rolled your eyes. This is a conversation that you were never able to avoid, not when you were 21, not when you were 22, not when you were 23 and not now. What your parents don't understand is that you are a very busy woman. It's not that you don't want a boyfriend, you'd love to have someone to come home to and talk about your day with but you just don't have time for one right now. Not only were you a young and attractive woman who just wanted to have her fair share of fun before she couldn't anymore but you also had a serious job that requires a lot of your attention

Your mom got married to your dad when she was 22 and then went on to have you at 24. She wants you to follow in her footsteps and start a family early so by the time you're older you don't have to worry about raising children. The thing is though is that your grandparents were millionaires, they coddled and spoiled your mom endlessly, to the point where she didn't need a job or to do anything for that matter so she decided start a family. Although your mom inherited her parents riches when they passed away, you refused to be spoiled rotten. You wanted to work hard for what you have and you did. You love and respect your mother but you refuse to sit around all day in a house too big, being a stay at home mom who does nothing but cook and clean

"Please don't start. I came here to see you and dad, can we not focus on my love life today" you said as you pushed your food around the plate with a fork, avoiding eye contact

Your mom placed her fork on her plate and sighed. "Honey I just want the best for you. I want you to start a family like me. What about that adorable Matt" she replied

"Mom no" you scoffed "wh- why would you even suggest that?"

Matt was a childhood friend of yours from middle school. You still hang out with him probably once or twice a year but you guys drifted apart a long time ago, there were no hard feelings, it's natural. Your mom loves Matt though, every time you see her she says "you and that Matt kid would make a great couple" or "he'll be your husband one day I'm telling you" but she hasn't even seen him since you guys were 18

The sound of your chair scraping the floor filled the room as you pushed back in your seat to get up. "I haven't talked to Matt in a while" you sighed and grabbed the plates before walking through the door that connected the dining room to the kitchen so you could wash your dish "and please stop telling your friends that I'm looking for a husband. If Mrs. Lockwood calls me one more time, I'm pulling my hair out" you said loud enough for her to hear

You began scrubbing the dishes as your mom walked in and leaned on the counter next to you, her brown bangs fanning messily over her forehead. "Okay I'm sorry honey. I just want you to find a ni-"

"nice guy and settle down" you finished for her "I know and I will. Just not now. There's so much I want to do for myself before I have to share my life with anyone else" you turned the faucet off and shook your hands before drying them on the kitchen towel

She sighed but prodded no more, just tapping the counter "okay honey, we have guests later today" she said before heading to the living room. Your dad leaned against the door frame and you knew he was going to say something, having heard that whole conversation. He shook his head before walking over to you and placing his dish in the sink. "She's just looking out for you in the only way she knows how" he kissed the top of your head "I'll talk to her about it okay?"

You nodded as he turned around and walked out of the kitchen. You released a heavy sigh and grabbed your phone off of the counter before leaving through the backdoor to get some fresh air. You had many messages from your friends, they must be worried since you haven't talked to them since you landed which means it has been two days now

[Caroline]

Y/n, are you okay?

I said text me when you get there remember??

Bonnie is gonna spam call the group chat if you don't answer

[Bonnie]

Hey! Just checking in

I stg you better not be dead

I'm calling

[2 missed calls from Bonnie]

[4 missed calls from 'the girls who care']

You chuckled to yourself upon seeing those messages. You decided to three-way call the group chat so you didn't have to go back and forth texting both of your friends. You sat down on the rocking chair as your phone rang

"You bitch" was the first thing you heard once the ringing stopped. Caroline picked up first then Bonnie, they were both scolding you at the same time and you just sat back on the chair and sighed since you couldn't get a word in yet

"Do you understand how worried we were?!" Caroline shouted into her mic

"Seriously, we were about to pack and fly down there" Bonnie added on a bit calmer but you could tell she was just as upset

You waited for them to get silent before you responded "I'm sorry guys. I didn't think things were going to be hectic as soon as I arrived"

They sighed because they knew exactly what you were talking about. The first and last time you ever invited your friends down to visit, your mom embarrassed you endlessly. Not the cute embarrassment when she talks about your baby pictures and coo over your squishy cheeks. No, the embarrassment that comes with getting yelled at in front of your friends for not wanting to get married at 22, the embarrassment of your mom practically telling your friends that they might as well kill themselves if they don't start a family early

"You need to put your foot down y/n" Caroline said with a huff "just cuss her out or something"

"She's my mother Care, I can't cuss my mother out"

"Sure you can" you could picture her rolling her eyes at you "all because she's your mom doesn't mean you have to take the constant disrespect"

Caroline was the one you don't go to for advice and the times you do, you don't really listen to her much. This time, maybe she was right, maybe you do need to put your foot down but if you were going to do it, it wouldn't be today. You waited for Bonnie to say something, anything. She's the calm one, the one that talks some sense into them when things were going wrong and you needed some sense right now

Bonnie sighed exasperated "Y/n, don't cuss your mom out. Caroline, stop suggesting stupid shit like that" you nodded as if she could see you "just sit her down and talk to her about it, your dad is on your side so both of you could team up and make her see that you can make your own decisions about your life and you don't need to be hassled for it"

You face palmed yourself "I've done that already Bonnie. I can't- I can't talk anymore, I've done enough talking with her"

That's when Caroline decided to speak again "well..." she started. You and Bonnie were prepared for her to say something absolutely useless but she said something that actually kind of peaked your interest. "Why don't you just tell her you already have a boyfriend? To get her off of your back at least for the rest of your visit" she said nonchalantly

"Wait- say that again" you demanded, getting up from the swing and pacing the back porch

"Uh, just tell her you have a boyfriend already?" She said it like it was a question "I mean it might be stupid but it could work. Your mom just wants you to settle down, tell her that you will and she'll be excited enough to leave you alone"

"Care you're a fucking genius!" you shouted, you kept your phone stable by using your shoulder as you pumped your fists in victory as if you had the idea yourself. "Gosh I love you guys so much. I'll have to talk to you later okay?"

This plan was absolutely fucking genius. Caroline can be on the dumber side sometimes and her ideas were over the top but there are times where she has those moments that made you want to grab her face and kiss her silly and now was one of those amazing moments.

"Wait" Bonnie tried "Y/n think it through first you can't just-"

You hung up. Of course Bonnie was going to have protests and you'll call her to talk about her opinions later but for now you have a plan and you want to get everything in your head situated first. You texted the chat saying sorry for hanging up so abruptly then you put your phone in the back pocket of your jeans before flinging the back door open

Nobody was in the living room so you threw yourself on the couch and turned on the TV just for some background noise while you sat deep in thought. Deep in the back of your mind you knew this plan would never work but if it did end up working out the way you hoped, you'd have a relaxing rest of your visit. Now you're certain that she'll ask a shit ton of questions, things like "what's his name?" And "when did you meet?" Or "why didn't you tell me this sooner?" So you came up with an answer for all of those questions. Once you came up with your fake backstory and a name to go with it, you decided to go up to your room and take a nap

You knew that you should probably get started on dinner but you were burnt out from the day and the constant nagging you had to put up with. The stairs creaked as you walked up two steps at a time. Your bedroom was still decorated the same from when you were 17 years old. Tacked onto the pale blue walls were multiple BTS posters, a light brown, wooden desk was pushed into the corner closest to the window and right in the middle of the spacey room sat a queen sized bed with pale blue sheets to match the walls and a heavy black comforter because your parents loved to keep the house cold

With a heavy sigh, you closed the door and went to the bathroom that was connected to your room. After washing up and cleaning your face you threw yourself onto the soft bed and curled under the comforter. Later you'll think things through more but right now you need to get some serious shut eye

"Y/n!" You heard a muffled voice shout out. It was your mom standing at the bottom of the stairs calling for dinner. She had a phrase for waking you up when you were a kid "two shouts before I come in and throw ice water on you". You realized that was her second shout once you heard the stairs creak with every step she took to come up

You rolled out of bed, your butt thumping the ground pretty hard. "Shit" you grimaced and lifted yourself to rub your right ass cheek before you heard your doorknob turn. Your mom flung the door open and stood in the doorway with a big blue cup in her hand, no doubt full of the coldest water she could find. "Hi mom, I'm up" you said groggily as she eyed you like you were crazy. You were sitting on the floor half asleep with one eye open, just your bra and panties on, rubbing your bruising ass cheek while your blanket was tangled around your legs, you could be seen as crazy. She opened her mouth to speak but shut it right away, just nodding and shutting the door quickly with a thud

Okay, so not the best way to say hello to your mother but if she knew how to knock she wouldn't have caught you in such a compromising position. You placed one elbow on your bed and another on your bedside table to hoist yourself up with a grunt. "Jesus fucking Christ" you mumbled as you dragged yourself to the bathroom to make yourself presentable. Your mom was inviting one of her co-workers over for dinner and she briefly woke up earlier to tell you to dress your best because there was someone she wanted you to meet

You thought that maybe she was trying to get you to talk to one of her friends so you could get a job in town, you knew how badly she wanted you to move back in with her and your dad. So when you walk down stairs in your black, tight fitted long sleeved shirt, camaflouge print cargo pants - cinched at the ankles, and black, leather converse high tops, you weren't expecting to see one of the most gorgeous men you have ever seen before in your 24 years of living. Your mom was talking to a lady who you assumed was her co-worker while the man looked around the living room, smiling at family pictures and touching the plants

"Oh Y/n you're here!!" Everyone looked at you at the announcement of your arrival. You waved shyly then walked over to your mom with your arms stiffly at your sides. She introduced the woman as Vanessa Salvatore, the CEO of Salvatore inc, the largest car company in all of North America. Your jaw damn near touched your toes, when your mom had said co-worker you wouldn't have thought that she meant the CEO of the goddamn company she worked at

The woman shook your hand firmly and called over the man who was walking around the living room. "This is my son" she said as he walked over. He was dressed in a white button-up shirt, paired with a grey suit and brown shoes, his dirty blonde hair was gelled back, a missed curl falling prettily in front of his eye. As he planted himself next to his mother you noticed that his eyes were a beautiful emerald green and his jaw was chiseled to perfection, it could cut through diamonds if he tried. He was devastatingly gorgeous, taking your eyes off of him would not be easy

"Hello, I'm Stefan Salvatore" he held his hand out and flashed a beautiful, toothy smile. You smiled right back at him and took his hand, shaking firmly like your mom taught you. "Y/n Smith, nice to meet you" you replied, trying to sound professional, this must be something important, pertaining to your mothers job. You pulled your hand back while he stared at you, intensely like he was trying to read you through your eyes. You were starting to feel kind of hot under his gaze so you turned around to go help your father set the table

Your father greeted you with a smile when you walked through the doors "hey honey" he said as he grabbed a stack of napkins "help set these plates, will you?" He kissed your cheek then walked past you to set down the napkins. While you grabbed the plates you heard the kitchen door swing open, you turned around to see who it was and there was Stefan, waving hello to your father as he walked toward you

"Y/n right?" Stefan grabbed the glass cups that were stacked on the counter next to you "sorry if I stared a little back there, you are a gorgeous woman" he said, you could see a slight smirk on his face, he's confident, that's either a good thing or a bad thing. "Thanks, you're a very handsome man" you returned the compliment before going to set the plates down. He followed you to the connected dining room and set a cup down beside every plate you placed on the table. A comfortable silence wrapped around the two of you as you both worked to set the table

After the table was done being set up you called everyone into the dining room to eat. Your mom cooked since you had taken a nap (you reminded yourself to apologize for that later). She made baked macaroni, sliced ham, sliced turkey, yellow rice with gravy and baked chicken. You were ready to dig in but guests first was the biggest rule whenever you had company over. You waited until their plates were fixed then you eagerly stood up and placed some of everything on yours

"So Michelle, I heard that the idea of two engines was your idea" Ms. Salvatore held a hand to her mouth as she talked. Your mom nodded her head "I was quite shocked at hearing that but after learning so much about you I could see that you are a smart woman". You smiled proudly upon hearing this, your mom had been working on that two engine idea for the better part of a year, when she finally got the chance to pitch it to her higher ups she was a big ball of nerves, calling you every two seconds before she had to be in the boardroom

Your mom bowed her head shyly "thank you so much Vanessa" she said gratefully, a hue of pink faint on her cheeks

Conversations flowed perfectly after that. Ms. Salvatore asked you questions like where you worked and where you lived now and you had answered truthfully. You were the head photographer at the modeling agency you worked at in New York, Lights up studios

Mrs. Salvatore's eyes lit up "Oh! A photographer? My Stefan is a model and he lives in New York too" she pat his shoulder "It's hard to get him to come visit since his schedule is very tight but he manages"

"Me too, I visit whenever my schedule dies down a bit" you cleared your throat and looked at Stefan "a model? You are very handsome" you noticed the way your mom looked between you two with a big smile on her face. "Which companies have you worked with?". You wanted to know if he ever worked with your company before, maybe before you began working there he had done some shoots

Stefan shrugged "uh, nothing big just-" he looked at his mom and sighed, she was obviously very proud of his profession "Gucci and Louis Vuitton, places like that" he scratched the back of his head, for some reason embarrassed

Your eyes widened and you put your fork down "Oh wow that's totally big. I would love to see your pictures one day". You could tell he was about to decline but his mom already had her phone in hand and pictures pulled up. Stefan's photos were amazing, he was a natural and whoever his photographer was, they were so very talented. Your breath caught in your throat at one specific photo from an underwear photoshoot, it was hot but it weirded you out that you were looking at it from his moms phone. You sat back up and started chewing on a piece of ham while his mom showed more pictures to your parents

Dinner was great. After you and your mom had finished clearing the table, everyone gathered in the living room. After thanking Mrs. Salvatore for coming over, your dad went upstairs to his room because he had to get to work early tomorrow. Your mom sat next to Mrs. Salvatore on the couch and they seemed to be talking about something important. Stefan was sitting on a recliner, looking a little lost so you decided to sit on the one next to him

"Hey" you said as you sat down "I apologize, I wouldn't have asked if I knew you were going to be a bit uncomfortable". You were feeling bad about his obvious discomfort when you asked to see his pictures. He obviously didn't like talking about his profession much and you didn't mean to pry

He flicked his wrist dismissively "It's fine. I wanted to show them, I just uh, get a little embarrassed when my mom starts to talk about it" he lowered his head "it's stupid"

You shook your head "it's not stupid, I know how you feel". Hearing your parents brag about you is the worst, especially when it's about something as big as what Stefan does. You couldn't even imagine your mom pulling out pictures of you to brag to anyone she has a chance to brag to

"I'm surprised I've never bumped into someone as sexy as you up in New York" Stefan suddenly leaned over and whispered into your ear, deep and raspy. Heat immediately pooled in your stomach at the sinful sound. He's obviously not shy when it comes to flirting, is what you thought to yourself

You chuckled "is that so?". What you did next was bold but you didn't care. You turned your head his way, he was still leaning close to you so now your faces were only inches apart, you could see the shards of gray in his eyes and the way his lips formed a lopsided heart. "Well Mr. Salvatore, now you know where to bump into me" you whispered against his lips. His eyes flickered to your lips then back to your eyes

Just as he was about to reply, Mrs. Salvatore called you both over. You got up at the same time and walked over to the couch. Your mom was looking around nervously and that made you nervous but you didn't say anything, you waited for whatever was about to be said. "Uh, we think you two should go out and get drinks. Let the adults talk some more"

You looked at your mother and just like you thought, she wasn't making eye contact with you. No way was she trying to set you up with her boss's son. "Mom, can I talk to you in the kitchen" you said with a fake smile on your face

"Honey" she laughed awkwardly "we have guests"

"Just for a minute"

You turned around and walked to the kitchen, knowing your mom would be right behind you. "Mom what the fuck?" You whisper shouted once she walked in and the door was closed "your boss's son? Are you serious right now?"

She raised a brow "excuse me young lady? Watch your mouth" she sighed "now it's just to see how compatible you two are. He's a sweet young man and if you're going to get married soon then-"

You threw your hands in the air and interrupted her with a groan "I don't want to get married mom, what don't you understand!"

She was pleading with her eyes now "Y/n just try, you might like Stefan, he's a sweet boy. And he has seemed to take a liking to you already"

"Mom I don't-" You sighed tiredly, you have no more fight left in you and no more strength left to even finish that sentence. Everything you tell her goes in one ear and out the other, you can't do it anymore so you just agreed. You glared at your mom one more time before leaving the kitchen, mumbling a quiet "nice to meet you" to Ms. Salvatore before snatching your car keys from the hook by the front door

"Let's go Stefan" you said with a little sass as you threw the front door open and walked out into the night. Stefan was right behind you, closing the house door and scrambling to sit in the passenger side of your black Mercedes E Class. Once in the car, you started it and exhaled heavily "do you mind if I bluetooth this?" You asked Stefan as you held up your phone, indicating you needed to make a call. He shrugged and sat back, buckling his seat belt

As you pulled out of the driveway the sounds of your phone ringing filled the car. You needed some sense right now before you angrily killed you and Stefan by driving off of the next bridge you cross so you called the only person who could give you some sense. "Hello?" A voice whispered, she was obviously sleeping and you would feel bad if you weren't completely pissed

"Bonnie, why the fuck do I put up with this shit? I can't talk to her and to hell with the fake boyfriend plan, that wasn't going to work anyway and I knew it wasn't the minute I put my head down to nap" you were going on and on, to anybody else the silence would mean Bonnie doesn't really care but you know she's just listening intently "I can't do this shit anymore. I can't keep coming down here and hearing the same shit and worrying about the next man my mom is trying to marry me off to in Mystic Falls. It's exhausting Bonnie"

You weren't even angry anymore just exhausted. You tried to understand your mom, you tried to sympathize with her, you tried to be angry with her but none of it is working. Nothing you do is going to stop the constant nagging and the constant questions about your love life and the silent judgement you get from her friends whose kids are already married

Bonnie hummed "what happened y/n? Did she tell another one of her friends that you want a husband"

"Basically. She invited her boss and the lady's goddamn son to the house for dinner then sent me out to get drinks with the fucking son" you chuckled dryly "she thinks I didn't notice her smiling at us like we were going to get married right there in the fucking living room"

Stefan was looking at you like you were crazy but you paid him no mind. He knew exactly what you were talking about because judging by the way his mom was smiling from ear to ear upon introducing him, she definitely told him he needed to start looking for a wife too

"Is he ugly?" Is what Bonnie asked, you saw Stefan smirk out the corner of your eye and this time it pissed you off so you said the logical answer

"Yes" you bit back a snicker when you saw his eyes widen "and he's shorter than a troll"

"Hey! You're a liar" Stefan said, pointing an accusatory finger at you

"IS HE IN THE CAR?" Bonnie shouted, you winced at how loud it was, leaning over to turn the car volume down a little

You released a laugh, high pitched and squeaky "yeah he is" you laughed harder "you should see the way he's glaring at me"

Before you knew it, all three of you started laughing. It felt nice to laugh like that and you felt less pissed. Bonnie then stopped laughing and called your name, you hummed in acknowledgment. "Just make the most of it okay? Don't think of it as your mom sending you off on a date, think of it as you meeting a new friend" she said

You nodded your head, she's right you need to think more positively. Stefan is funny and handsome, you won't marry him but you sure would fuck him if you had the chance. So why not make the most of it? "You're right Bon, thank you" you sighed "I don't know what I'd do without you". You said your goodbyes and apologized for waking her up then you hung up

"Great friend. Mine would've told me to push you out of the car and take the next flight back to New York" Stefan said once the call ended

You laughed and glanced at him "if I had called my other friend, she would've said the same thing" you stopped at a red light then leaned back in your seat "you're not ugly by the way or short" you said quietly, your joking demeanor long gone

"I know" he replied smugly. You scoffed in disbelief and amusement, so he's definitely not one to turn down a compliment

You shook your head as you started driving again "Salvatore you're something else" you replied, hearing him release a breathy laugh in response

It's a sound you've come to like, maybe a little too much

The music was blaring and you could barely hear the story Stefan was trying to tell you. You both agreed to go to a local night club called "Mindy's", great bar service and great bathrooms to suck someone off. Stefan was leaning back in the booth across from you, his legs were spread out and he had both arms propped up behind him, he threw his head back in a deep laugh at one of his own jokes and you swear it was one of the sexiest things you ever heard

You were still kind of upset about your mother trying to set you up to get married but you tried not to think about it here. You were with Stefan and more than likely going to get fucked tonight, why ruin that with complaints? You tapped on the table "do you want another drink?" You asked Stefan as you slid out of the booth to go get yourself your fourth one of the night. He nodded and allowed his eyes to roam your body as he handed you his empty glass. Your fingers grazed his as you grabbed the cup and you felt tingles from the warmth

You walked away confidently, certain that he was staring at your ass. "Two gin and tonics please" you said with a smile once you reached the bar. The male bartender smirked at you before fixing the drinks

"Here alone?" The bartender asked, his shiny black hair was messy like he had been running his hands through it and his eyes were a striking blue "I'm Landon by the way"

You hummed and replied "with a friend" then you let yourself stare at his plump, red lips as he ran his tongue across the bottom one. "I'm Y/n", the bartender looked at you with some type of intensity in his eyes, you knew he wanted you but you just wanted to flirt. Flirting always calls for a good time

He slid you your drinks then leaned forward "I'd love to take you out sometime" he whispered "I don't see many beautiful women like you in the falls". You almost rolled your eyes, these men don't seem to see beautiful women anywhere. You grabbed the drinks, lifting your brow at an extra he slid over, saying it was "on the house"

You smiled at him and thanked him for the drinks and compliment. "Maybe you'll see me around more" you said, knowing that you'll be leaving soon and not coming back for a couple more months. After telling him that you should get going, you turned around and headed back to your booth

When you got back to the table, Stefan was looking at you with his eyes narrowed and his jaw clenched. You decided to sit next to him instead of across from him. "Got an extra!" you shouted into his ear. He smiled, tight lipped and his eyes were sharper like he was angry. You asked him what was wrong but he just shrugged and said nothing so you hummed and started swaying in your seat to the music

"I want to dance"

Stefan just looked at you and raised a brow as if questioning why but you just grabbed his hand and drug him out of the booth. "Humor me" you said, placing a hand on his chest "just one dance"

He stared into your eyes for a few minutes then he took your hand and walked onto the dance floor. He spun you around, pressing your back to his chest "hm, I think someone else was expecting a dance too" he whispered, his warm breath fanning across your neck. Your breath hitched as he pulled you closer, sliding his left hand down your left arm to intertwine your fingers

He was jealous. You realized it in the way he held you possessively and the way he chose a spot right where the bartender could see you guys. It's not everyday you find a man as sexy as Stefan that wants you so badly so you caught yourself from smiling and decided not to comment on his jealousy

Instead you pushed your hips back as he placed his other hand on your waist to guide your movements. You could feel his heart beating rapidly on your back and you reveled in the feeling, you were making him feel like this. Eventually you were grinding up against him faster and harder and you could feel his breath picking up from the constant friction. You put your head back on his shoulder and closed your eyes, pulling your bottom lip between your teeth when he started to leave feather light kisses down your neck. "Mm" you hummed as arousal swirled in the pits of your stomach, you needed to fuck him now

"I want you” Stefan confessed, low and deep in your ear, his lips grazing your earlobe. “I would fuck you so well” he added, nipping the lobe of your ear afterward

You let out a little gasp when Stefan released your entwined fingers then spun you to face him. You were drunk off both pleasure and alcohol, a dangerous combination. Stefan then kissed you, so deeply and passionately that your knees almost buckled from the feeling. His lips were softer and warmer then you could have ever imagined, not that you had much time to imagine since you just met him not too long ago

You panted as he pulled back just a little "show me then please" you begged. You weren't even going to resort to begging at first but every time he touched you a fire ignited throughout your whole body and the only way to put it out is to feel him inside of you

“Begging already?” Stefan said, his lips still against yours

You whimpered and closed your eyes as he kissed you again. You needed Stefan and it's now or never but before you could tell him to take you to the bathrooms, he was already letting go

“Come on then” he teased in a low voice, sending a shiver down your spine. His hands trailed lightly down your back, just a teasing touch, before he gripped your ass. Then the touch was gone and his warmth was gone. You opened your eyes to see Stefan walking toward the bathrooms, he walked with his head held high and the crowd parted for him like the red sea

Before you knew it you were booking it to the bathrooms. As soon as you opened the door, you were pulled in and pushed against it. Stefan locked it then connected his lips with yours hungrily. You melted into his touch, enjoying the softness of his lips and the taste of alcohol on his tongue as he licked into your mouth. Stefan slid his hands under your shirt to squeeze your waist and the touch sent a lick of heat through your stomach. You pulled back and scanned his body

"Let me suck your dick" it was a demand but a question at the same time

He nodded with a groan "yeah okay". Stefan switched spots so his back was against the door and you were in front of him then he unbuckled his belt and pulled his pants down enough to get his dick out. Your eyes widened, you almost wanted to slap him for having such a perfect dick – it was long, thick and his pretty red tip was already dripping with pre-cum

You quickly sunk down to your knees and stuck your tongue out, licking a broad stripe along the vein on his cock. Stefan released a drawn out moan, letting the back of his head hit the door with a thud. "Fuck" he cursed under his breath as you started to suck on the tip. He put a hand in your hair, not pushing your head but just keeping it there

This turned you on though, you wanted him to grip your hair and fuck his cock down your throat. And you let him know that by sinking down as far as you can, then looking up at him with tears pricking your eyes. His grip in your hair tightened and his breathing picked up. "Okay shit, I get it" he said, smiling down at you and boy was his smile beautiful. "Tap my thigh whenever you want me to stop" he added before pulling his cock out to rub his tip on your lips

When you opened your mouth he took that opportunity to slide in, slowly, just until he hit the back of your throat then he pulled back again and slammed in harder. Your eyes watered but you just breathed through your nose, you wanted this. "So good baby" he breathed as he looked down at you with half lidded eyes. The praise make your pussy clench around nothing, wanting him to fill you up

Stefan gently fisted your hair with both hands as he began to thrust, moving your head along with him. "Those pretty lips were meant to be stretched around my cock" he said as he started thrusting faster, moans getting louder. You're sure anybody who was waiting for the restroom could hear him but that made it even hotter

Drool and tears ran down your face as Stefan brutally hit the back of your throat with each thrust, you closed your eyes and thanked the universe for not giving you a gag reflex. You moaned around his length, hearing him let out a curse from the vibrations just like you thought he would. You continued to look up at him as he stared down at you, he was breathtaking. His forehead glistened with sweat and his tongue swiped across his bottom lip every few seconds. He smiled at you in between a moan and it was the sexiest thing you had ever seen

Soon his thrusts were faltering and his cock was twitching against your tongue with the need to release. "Fuck- I'm gonna cum" he moaned as he put his head back and squeezed his eyes shut. His grip in your hair tightened as he thrusted one more time, stilling with a loud groan as he came hot and salty down your throat. You swallowed it all quickly then sucked on his tip a little more until he was pulling you off from over stimulation

"You're a fucking dream" he breathed out, his eyes following you as you stood back up and wiped your mouth with the back of your hand

"So I've been told" you replied with a laugh as you turned around to walk to the sink to wash your face and fix your hair

After Stefan tucked himself back in and buckled his belt back up he walked up behind you, wrapping his arms around your waist. "I don't have condoms on me" he mumbled as he kissed your ear. You tried not to pout in disappointment. You were really hoping to get fucked tonight but you were fine with it, you didn't care much

"It's fine I don't need anything in re-"

"But I have my own place a few blocks away" he interrupted with a face as if he was trying not to laugh and coo at you. That was all he had to say before you were grabbing his arm and unlocking the bathroom door. Of course you cared, you wanted Stefan and he didn't seem like the blowjob and go type of guy anyway. You didn't care about the people staring at the both of you as you flung the door open and walked out

You and Stefan walked to the car in silence because if either of you spoke you'd probably just say fuck it and have the nastiest sex on your backseat. Electricity was buzzing through your veins and you were already wet from earlier, you know he could fuck you good and you're ready to be pinned down and fucked rough

Stefan had already typed his address into your phone's GPS so in just a few minutes you were pulling up a huge driveway. Your eyes widened as something akin to a mansion came into view. His house was fucking huge, there is no way he lives here alone and of course you talked first and asked that very question. "You live here? Alone?" You asked your car came to a halt by the entrance

He shook his head and replied "not alone". You raised a brow and asked with who and he told you that he has a three year old puppy named Rose that he keeps with him every time he visits Mystic Falls, giving the puppy to his parents whenever he isn't here. For some reason you felt a sense of relief at the confirmation of nobody else living there but you ignored it because what would you be relieved for?

When you walked in the house you didn't even have time to process how big and beautiful it was inside before Stefan was grabbing your waist and smashing ypur lips together. You yelped as he picked you up and you quickly wrapped your legs around his waist. "You're so fucking sexy" he said in between nips on your bottom lip. He carried you up a flight of stairs with his lips still connected to yours, not pulling away until he threw you on a big bed in a bedroom way too big for one person. You sat still and looked around as Stefan went to go grab condoms out of his dresser

The room was huge but very bland like something you'd imagine a guest room to look like but you knew it was his room because of the single picture of him accompanied by a tall man with black hair that sat on his dresser. You wanted to ask questions but you didn't want to pry too much

Soon Stefan came back with three condoms, you lifted a brow and giggled. "Three? Are you trying to kill me?" You asked in faux disbelief. You can handle three rounds but you aren't sure if he can, not with you

He laughed lowly while moving to hover over you. "Just hoping you can keep up" he said before pressing his lips against yours, you wrapped your arms around his neck and wrapped your legs around his waist as you pulled him closer and kissed him back harder. You could kiss Stefan forever, it was like your lips were made to be on his

You both grinded against each other before Stefan pulled back to start kissing down your neck. "Tell me what you like" he said as he nipped a sensitive part on your neck "I'm open to anything" he continued, detaching his lips from your neck so he could pull your shirt off, you complied by lifting your arms

"Mm" you moaned as he kissed around your breasts, you indeed wore no bra. Your breasts are big but not too big so you were able to pass without a bra sometimes. "I like rough but not too rough, I don't want to bleed. I like to be choked and please don't hesitate to leave marks, it turns me on". You placed a hand on the back of his head as he started sucking on one of your hard nipples. "If you're too silent I might get up and leave in the middle of it" you laughed when Stefan softly bit your nipple trying to hold back a laugh. "I'm serious, be vocal, I like to hear how good you feel" you said, looking down in time to see Stefan wink at you

"Of course I'll be vocal baby" he mumbled against your skin as he was switching to the other nipple. You shuddered at the pet name again and closed your eyes thinking of more things to tell him

"If I say pineapple that means stop"

Stefan released your nipple with a pop "you better pineapple the shit out of me if you feel any bit of discomfort, got it?" He said with a small smile. You replied with a simple yes before helping him pull his shirt off

This man was carved by angels then double checked by the Greek Gods, you've never seen abs so chiseled and defined. Your mouth hung open as you shamelessly swept his torso with your eyes. Is it weird to say someone has pretty nipples? It probably is but that didn't stop you. "You're nipples are so pretty" you blurted, mentally face palming yourself once you said it

"Thanks" Stefan smiled then pinched one of your nipples "so are yours"

"Just fuck me already" you huffed with a playful roll of your eyes

Stefan kissed you again as he pulled your pants and panties off, quickly pulling his pants and boxers off as well. He stared open mouthed at your pussy and you were about two seconds away from covering up before he began to run his fingers along your glistening folds. He spread you open with two fingers "fuck you're so wet" he removed his fingers and brought them to your lips, you willingly opened your mouth to taste yourself like he wanted you to

He watched you with a hungry look in his eyes which spurred you on more. As much as you wanted to get fucked, you loved the foreplay, you know your orgasm is going to be so much more intense when he does get around to fucking you. You dragged your tongue in between his two fingers and you sucked hard, reminding him of the blowjob you gave him back at the club. "Shit" he whispered, voice heavy with arousal. You released his fingers then watched him move down so his head could be between your thighs

"Gonna taste you first" he said then he stuffed his face into your pussy

You arched up and released a sigh when he licked a stripe up your core and to your clit. He wrapped his lips around it, sucking hard as you grabbed the sheets on either side of your head and squeezed your eyes shut. It felt so good and you wanted so badly to hump his face. "So good Stefan" you whined when he swirled his tongue around your clit then moved to push his tongue through your pulsating hole, using his thumb to rub your clit

It was messy, you were so wet for him and you could hear the way he slurps on your pussy, it pushed you closer and closer to the edge. He pushed two fingers into your hole at once and it felt so good with just a small sting. He hooked his fingers, hitting your g-spot right away. "Right there" you whined breathily, pushing back on his fingers

He was so good at this, knew exactly what to do with his fingers and mouth. But you needed more, you wanted to cum on his cock. You tapped his head "fuck me" you looked at him through half lidded eyes and squeezed your own nipples "I want you so bad" you said, moaning softly when his pressed a kiss to your core

Stefan nodded and quickly sat up on his knees and opened one of the condoms. You watched as he rolled it on then pumped himself a few times. It was hot, he was hot. "Relax for me, okay?" Stefan whispered, rubbing circles into your thighs as he lined himself up with your hole. A quiet moan left you as he pushed in excruciatingly slow, his eyes stuck on where you two are now connected. He rests his hand down on your mound, thumb rubbing small circles into your clit as he rocked his hips into yours

"Shit" Stefan muttered softly to himself. He hadn't really set a pace yet, just lazily rolling his hips and enjoying the feel of your warm, wet pussy squeezing him so tightly. "Fuck you feel so good" he grunted out as he began to speed up his thrusts, fucking into you so hard that his neighbors could probably hear the slap of skin against skin

Stefan slid his hand up your torso to squeeze one of your breasts, rolling your nipple between his thumb and pointer finger. "Oh my God" your eyes rolled into the back of your head, his cock hit your g-spot with each thrust inside of you. You gripped his sheets to keep yourself from sinking your nails into his biceps. "Deeper please Stefan" you whined, not knowing how he could get any deeper but you need him to try

"Ride me" is what he replied "if you want it, then ride me" he challengingly quirked a brow and smirked. He was obviously teasing you but with no hesitation you put your hands on his shoulders and pushed him back, allowing his cock to slide out of you so you can hover above him

"You're so fucking sexy" He whispered as you positioned yourself above his cock and sunk down, he was just in you but the stretch was still there, it was a dull pain. His fingers dug into your sides harshly, hard enough to leave bruises and you'd smile about it if you weren't trying to fit his cock in you

You circled your hips a few times before lifting yourself up and slamming back down. You set the pace and made the movements quick and harsh. Stefan slid his hands down to your ass, helping you bounce up and down on him. "You ride me so well" Stefan groaned, eyebrows furrowing out of pleasure

You couldn’t help but clench around him from the endless praise, the action causing him to buck his hips as he moaned “yeah, just like that”. One particular swivel of your hips had you both groan in unison as you worked his cock to find your sweet spot. You locked into the feeling desperate to find it by grinding his cock deeper because it was right there, making your eyes roll backwards into your head. "Oh F-" you shuddered as you found the spot you were looking for

Stefan looked at you with eyes fogged with pure lust. There was no way he could close his eyes when you moved like that above him. He lifted his hips up to meet yours and although you weren't planning on cumming so quickly, that pushed so far over the edge, you couldn't even see straight as your orgasm knocked the breath out of you. Your vision was blurred, the dull ringing in your ears made your head pound and your body convulsed embarrassingly on top of Stefan

Your pussy fluttered violently around his cock, gripping onto it in a way that made Stefan's body shiver from pure pleasure. He’s moaning loudly, no longer being able to hold back. He brought a hand up to wrap around your throat as he planted his feet on the bed, sat up slightly and started fucking up so hard into you that you damn near saw stars

Both of you were sweating heavily and your skin was burning hot by now but you didn't want to stop, no matter how far you were pushed into oversensitivity

You could tell he was close when you felt him twitch inside of you so you used all of your energy to circle your hips to meet his thrust. "Fuck y/n" was the last thing you heard being whispered near your ear as he spilled inside of you, collapsing on top of you but not entirely as to not crush you

You both layed there for a few minutes breathing heavily. You tapped Stefan's shoulder to tell him to get off of you. With a sigh he pulled out of you and flopped onto your side, pulling off the condom and tying it up. "You're really a dream" he chuckled softly as he threw the condom into a small garbage bin by his bed

"So you've said" you looked at him and smiled. The silence was comfortable, just both of you basking in your post orgasm glow and waiting for your breathing to calm down. Suddenly your phone rang loudly, you sat up quick and felt around for it, picking your pants up off the floor and pulling it out of the back pocket

It was your mom calling, you looked at Stefan with wide eyes and put a finger over your lips. "Hello?" You stood up and paced the room, not bothering to even put your undergarments back on

"Y/n, where are you? It's almost one in the morning"

You bit back the scoff you so badly wanted to release "I'm with Stefan mom. Did you forget that you sent me off to get married to your boss's son?"

She sighed heavily, you could picture her leaning against the counter, rubbing her temples. "But that doesn't mean stay out all night doing God knows what! You still stay under my roof while you're here"

This time you did scoff, rolling your eyes as well "mom excuse my language but what the fuck?" You shook your head as Stefan looked over at you in concern "you begged me to leave the house with a random guy in hopes of me getting married so you can relive that through me, you don't get to lecture me when I don't come home for a couple of hours"

"Now Y/n watch-"

She tried to speak but you just needed to let this out so you interrupted her. "He could've been a serial killer or a kidnapper and if anything had gone left you wouldn't even be hearing my voice right now" you felt your eyes sting with tears, trying as best as you could to blink them back before they could fall "you're lucky that I'm with someone who actually makes me feel a bit safe. I'm not coming home tonight and I'll be packing tomorrow and going back to New York. I love you but I don't love the constant nagging about my love life, you don't respect me or my wishes mom. I'm sick of it" you tried to catch a tear before it slipped but it was too late "get some sleep okay? Goodnight, I love you" you hung up the phone and just stood there, butt naked and facing the wall with tears silently rolling down your face

You wiped your face and took breaths before turning around "uh, I'm gonna go" you walked to the bed and started putting your clothes back on and Stefan just watched. You didn't know if he wanted to say something or if he just didn't care but either way you just wanted to go. As you were putting your shirt on that's when Stefan got up, quickly going to his closet to rummage through a whole bunch of clothes. He pulled out a pair of black gym shorts and a white sleeveless t-shirt

"It's not much but if you uh, want you can take a shower here and stay here for tonight" he scratched the back of his head with one hand while he held out the clothes with the other, it even looked like he was blushing a little, you couldn't help but crack a small smile

You bit your lip to try to hold the smile back "are you sure? I don't want to impose or anything" you said while grabbing the clothes from him

"You're not imposing" he walked up to you and lifted your chin up with his fingers "don't let your mom force you to do anything you don't want to do" the look in his eye made you want to obey every word he said so you nodded your head. He searched your face "I'm serious y/n. I love my mom but if I had allowed her to force me into marriage I wouldn't be who I am today, doing what I love. You're a beautiful woman with a lot going for you, if marriage isn't what you want then don't do it"

Without really thinking about it you pulled him in for a kiss. Both of you were still naked but it wasn't a sex hungry, heat filled kiss, it was passionate and slow and it made butterflies flutter in your belly, you've never felt that before. You pulled away with a big, dopey smile on your face "I won't do anything I don't want to do" you whispered, biting your lip to conceal yet another smile

"So you wanted to kiss me like that?" He teased with a huge smile on his face. You turned away from him and began walking to the bathroom, answering his question by looking over your shoulder and inviting him in with a tilt of your head

"Come shower with me and I'll let you know what I really want"

He laughed loudly and you couldn't help but join in, it was so contagious. "Oh you crazy crazy girl" he said as he followed behind you, ready for whatever you had to offer him

Maybe you don't plan on getting married anytime soon or dating to be honest but Stefan has become a constant in your life and you'd like to keep it that way and when the time comes when you both want to settle down, it wouldn't be too bad if it was with him

[runningincircl3s]

Nothing Ever After

Noah Sebastian x Reader x Vinny Mauro

Chapter Eleven

chapter warnings: NSFW!! half of this chapter is basically just smut lmao

apologies for the short chapter! the next few are pretty long so that'll make up for it :) once again a smut warning comes with a warning that i simply can't reread my own smut haha, so please ignore any mistakes!! happy monday :)

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You were left utterly speechless, you didn’t have anything to say to that and before you even had time to think of something to say back, he had taken his drinks and left. As much as you wanted to play along with whatever game he's playing, you couldn't deny that you felt guilty. You were hurting, and so was he, but you didn't know what to do to fix it.

As you walked back with all the drinks, you couldn’t help but roll your eyes as Caitlin laughed at something Vinny said, acting like it was the funniest thing in the world. 

“After we finish our drinks,” you whisper to Noah as you sit back down beside him, “Why don’t we go back to the hotel? I’ll say I feel tired and you could say you’ve got a call you need to take…”

“They’ll still be suspicious,” he says, “Let's just wait until we’re done here, okay? We've got nothing else on for the rest of the day, it'll be just you and me. All night.” He smiles, his hand rubbing up and down your thigh, sending shivers through your body, but you nod your head. 

“It’s Bryan’s turn!” Nicholas cheered, turning his camera on to Bryan, "So far Noah's in the lead, Chris is pretty close and so is y/n! It's gonna be a close one."

“I don’t know why I’m still playing, I’ve already lost. You guys are all 50 points above me!” Bryan chuckled as he got up.

"C'mon, Bry, it's all just for fun." You smiled, and he shook his head as he went up to bowl.

In the end, you and Chris had the most points, and you only needed to score higher than 7 to beat him. He jokingly gave you a sly look as you got up, taking your turn. 

As you rolled the ball, you hit 5 pins in the left corner. You knew you had this in the bag! You’d easily beat Chris, there was no doubt. 

You rolled the second ball, and hit 4, leaving one in the middle, yet winning the game! 

You turned around, smiling as the guys cheered for you, all except Vin who was talking to Caitlin. You walked back to your seat, grabbing your bag and your phone, finishing your drink and grabbing Noah by the hand to pull him up. 

“My room or yours?” You asked, tilting your head as you looked up at him. 

“It’s gotta be yours, doll. I’m sharing with Matt tonight.” He whispered.

“Cool, let him know you’re coming to my room to look at the pictures I took, to see if any of them are official page worthy.” You smiled, “I’ll text you my room number.”

As you began to walk off after saying your goodbyes to the guys, who were staying behind for one more drink, you accidently bump into Caitlin as she digs through her bag for something.

"Sorry!" You gasps, and you smile, shaking your head.

"Don't worry about it," you notice how Vinny was at the bar with a couple of the guys, so you took the slither of time you've got to talk to her, "So how do you know Vin?"

"He followed me on instagram a few years ago, he'd always like my posts and reply to my stories. We try to meet up whenever we can- it's nothing like that though, we're just friends... Unless we're drunk in his hotel room." She giggles, and you smile and nod your head.

"Well, it's been great to meet you!" You say as you take a deep breath. You weren't jealous, why would you be jealous? She's a beautiful girl, he's a beautiful guy, of course they're going to get up to all sorts of things when they're alone.

So why were you so mad that they had a history, or that he invited her along today?

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────

“Fuck,” Noah groaned as you grabbed a handful of his tshirt, “I never thought this moment would come, where I’d have you all to myself.” 

You grinned against the skin of his neck, where you were peppering kisses before you felt the back of your legs hit the bed. You wiggled your way up, your head now against the pillows as Noah hovered over you, the most devilish look on your face. 

“You beat all our asses out there, didn’t you, beautiful?” He slips his hand under the sweater you were wearing, feeling your bare skin beneath his fingertips, “I don’t know whether to reward you for doing so well, or teach you a lesson for being so cocky earlier.” 

When you thought his hand would travel higher towards your bra, he surprised you, his hand moved lower, and you felt it slip under your skirt, under the hip of your underwear and rested it there, his thumb tracing over your pubic bone. 

“But you’ve been working so hard for us, I think it’s only fair that I say thank you.” He added, before asking permission to take your panties off. 

He moved his way down your body, your sweater now pushed up, exposing your tummy where he kissed a trail down to your thighs, yet he insisted your skirt stayed on. You knew what you were doing when you got dressed this morning, part of you wore it to tease him, and although you wouldn’t let yourself admit it, part of you wore it to tease Vinny too. 

You felt bad for him, knowing how you let him down, but you suddenly stopped thinking about Vin when you felt Noah’s tongue on your clit, kissing, licking, nipping and sucking as you threw your head back, strings of moans leaving your lips as you melted into the pleasure, letting it consume you. 

“So fucking gorgeous, you know that?” You heard him say. 

As his mouth worked on you, his hand moved its way to where you needed him. He teased your hole with his thumb, slipping the tip in before pulling back out, leaving you clenching around nothing as he smirked against your clit. 

“Noah, please,” you begged, breathlessly, “I need you, stop teasing.” 

“I know, baby, look how wet you are,” he said, pushing himself up slightly as he ran his finger teasingly slow through your folds, collecting the slickness before he took his finger into his mouth, “Bet it’s been a while since you’ve been fucked, hasn’t it? Poor thing.” He pouted before he dove back in. 

“Oh my g-” You slapped one hand over your mouth as the other tugged on his hair, you swore you felt him groan into your pussy as he brought his hand back up, his pointer finger slipping into you with ease, followed by his middle finger. "Fuck!"

His fingers fucked into you slowly, too slowly, but he knew how good it was making you feel and the noises you made as you were begging for more was music to his ears. He takes your thighs and places them over his shoulders as he sucks on your clit, his fingers curling into you, rubbing the spot you could never reach alone. He needed to see you come undone for him, he needed to watch your break in his hands 

He pulls his face back to kiss your thighs, the rough pad of his thumb now stroking circles over your clit, the slight stubble on his chin tickling you as sinks his teeth into your soft flesh, losing himself in the pleasure he was giving you. 

“I’m so close,” you tell him, “I’m gonna-”

“Go on, baby,” he tells you between kisses to your clit as , “Need to see how pretty you look when you cum, my pretty girl.” He mumbled into your flesh, as you felt your thighs tremble around him. 

It didn’t take long for you to finish, your walls clamping down around Noah’s fingers as he moaned into your skin. Even after your orgasm hit, he didn’t move, he remained between your thighs until you had to force him off, the overstimulation becoming too much to handle. When he finally came up, he roughly grabbed your cheek in his hand, crashing his lips into yours as he moved up, kneeling between your thighs, you could finally feel how hard he was, and you were almost certain he had gone commando today. 

“Noah…” You panted, your forehead slightly damp with sweat as he rested his against it, “Fuck me.”

“Anything you want, angel.” He smirked, and you felt his hands reach for the hem of your sweater, pulling it over your head, his lips parting at the fact you weren’t wearing a bra. As he took one of your boobs into his hand, you worked on undressing him. 

“It’s not fair that you’ve still got all your clothes on.” You tell him as his fingers tease your nipple. 

“I’m sorry, baby.” He says, slowly pulling back as he pulls his shirt over his head, revealing his fully tattooed chest, then pulling a condom out of his pocket before pushing his joggers down- and you were right, he wasn’t wearing any boxers. “That better?” He asked, leaning back down to kiss you again. 

As you kissed, you felt his hips twitching involuntarily, his cock rubbing against your heat as you desperately tried to get more from him. 

“Noah, please…” You begged, “please fuck me, I need to feel you…”

"You're so pretty when you're begging, baby." He teases. “Are you sure?” He was watching how frustrated and flustered you were as you screwed your eyes shut and tried rocking your hips, needing more. 

“Yes!” You whined, and he pulled back, you guessed to roll the condom on, and with no warning, you felt the head of his cock nudge against your walls as inch by inch he filled you up. You felt as tears fill your eyes, the pleasure from his cock filling you so perfectly mixed with the dull ache from the stretch and the pain of him remaining so still inside you. 

He slowly began to move, his hand holding you down by your waist as the other pulled your legs to wrap around him, letting him fuck deeper into you as you cursed his name, your nails digging into his back. 

After a while in this position, Noah flipped you over onto your stomach, and he reached down to position you with your ass up for him whilst your face was buried in the pillows. He continued to fuck you like this until you came for the second time, muttering incoherent nonsense as your second orgasm took over you, but judging by the look in Noah’s eyes, he still wasn’t done.

He had you in every position, on every surface of your hotel room. From the bed to the desk in the corner, to the bathroom sink where he made you watch as you fell apart for him. You lost count of how many times you came, but just when you thought he was done, you were flipped over or lied down as he drove back into you, or got on knees to clean you up.

Hours had passed at this point, and the two of you were finally lying together on the bed, your limbs sore and your heart beating erratically as his fingers danced over the skin of your arm, holding you close with your head resting on his chest.

There were moments during your night together where you were using sex to release your built up frustration towards Vinny, knowing how much he would hate to know what you and Noah were up to, but you assumed he would be doing the same with Caitlin later so you assumed he wouldn't care.

"You okay?" Noah asked, gently twirling a piece of your hair before tucking it behind your ear.

"Yeah," you smile, tracing the outline of his stomach tattoo with your finger, trailing to just above his belly button, "I can't believe we just did that."

"I don't think I've ever lasted so long." He chuckled.

"Don't you go to the gym now? Your stamina would've improved." You point out, and he smirks.

"Yeah, I've been seeing the way you stare at me," he rubs his hand up and down his arm, "Don't think I don't notice, angel."

"Can you blame me?" You tilt your head to look up at him, "The last time I saw you, it looked like it would take one strong gust of wind to blow you over- and I mean that in the nicest way possible, that's literally my type- and now you look like you could bench press me?"

"So you're saying I'm your type?" He raised an eyebrow, a smug look across his face as you sat yourself up.

"No!" You tried to hide your smile.

"So what is your type?" He asked, his eyes meeting yours as he awaited your answer, but this only caused you to blush.

"I don't often like someone for their looks, it's always their personality. Someone funny, a bit of a nerd, has the same music taste as me, who stands for the right things... Someone who doesn't care about what other people think of them. That's what I find attractive."

"Y'know you basically just described me, y/n." He smirked.

And Vinny.

"Shut up!" You smiled, "So what's your type?"

He thought for a moment, and you thought he was going to give you an honest answer, but then he started describing you. Your height, your hair colour, your body shape, your eye colour, before you interrupted.

"Noah, I'm being serious!"

"You think I'm lying? What have we been doing for the past three hours, princess?"

"You... Really like me?"

"You haven't noticed?"

"Oh, Noah." You frowned, and he reached out to pull you back onto his chest.

-----------------------------

team vinny we might not be up right now but trust me everything's gonna change in the next chapter <3

@rumoured-whispers @collisionofyourkissmakesitsohard @lma1986 @thisbicc @dominuslunae @miss570 @miamore0570 @jilliemiw86 @itsyaboinoah

[zalrb]

damon is jealous of stefan and katherine lol.... whos suprised?

damon is making elena jealous by going on and on about stefan and katherine... i wonder if it's him being an inconsiderate, self absorbed asshole or if hes doing it intentionally. im guessing its the latter? lol. he strikes me as the "if i have to suffer, ill make sure you suffer with me" type of guy

“Is that really the effect that she has? What does she have, a magical vagina? Matt swears nothing happened between them and she still has him so twisted up, what is the deal?”

LMFAO

1) YOURE SO FUCKING PETTY ELENA

2) to answer your question: katherine's vagina is kinda like the magic conch shell from spongebob squarepants

it speaks to me

“Mm. Some could say the same about you,” Caroline muttered.

LMFAO EHEKEHEKEHJEJEJE CAROLINE

“Elena, he loved you …” Caroline paused as if she were remembering “so completely and you left him for his brother. And not just any brother. Damon.”

“Are you trying to make me feel like shit?” 

shes not trying to make you feel anything, ELENA

Elena nodded in acknowledgement as Caroline headed into the kitchen. She mulled over her words and decided they were irrelevant. 

She was going to pull Stefan back. Even if it killed her.

UNHINGED/CRAZY WOMEN ARE MY BIGGEST WEAKNESS

this was amazing

damon is making elena jealous by going on and on about stefan and katherine… i wonder if it's him being an inconsiderate, self absorbed asshole or if hes doing it intentionally. im guessing its the latter? lol. he strikes me as the "if i have to suffer, ill make sure you suffer with me" type of guy

oh it's definitely the latter. He heard them having sex and called Elena specifically so she could listen to it with him it's kind of a step up from him telling Elena every time he has sex with someone else to just straight up letting her hear it.

“Mm. Some could say the same about you,” Caroline muttered.

LMFAO EHEKEHEKEHJEJEJE CAROLINE

this made me CACKLE.

She was going to pull Stefan back. Even if it killed her.

LMAO yeah that was a nod to the books. But I was also saying how in this part, I wanted to show that Stefan and Elena had an unparalleled understanding and connection to each other still, which means that now she's kind of getting as unhinged as he is, where when she does her back and forth with Katherine, she can understand what he finds so addictive about it and she's doing that quote I always post about going into the darkness with him to pull him out, which means that she has to be strong to succeed in helping pull him out but I'll have some fun along the way of her getting swept up in the game as well.

[yourtastefulcannibal]

[I wanted to write long, u don't have to write this long lmao DW]

Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck.

Was he still running? His legs had begun to numb after the first mile of sprinting, paired with the cold evening chill brushing pale skin with every move he made. Blood had crusted beneath his nails, crumbling from his palms as he clenched his fists.

Matthew swore he could still hear the sirens. The all-too-familiar sound, deafening to his ears, the sounds of guns being drawn.

Police, screaming at him to put his hands up. Drop to his knees.

But he couldn't let himself be caught. He had Hannibal and Will. Other people he deemed his 'fledglings.'

Matthew didn't want to rot away in some cell. Alone. Gone. Forever.

Not again.

Tears ran like ice down his cheeks, as he dashed to the one place he knew to be closest. Safe.

Were the remaining officers still after him?

--

It had been a jealous thing. The utter rage, bloodlust Matthew felt. A long-abandoned feeling, one he had almost forgotten. Because Will found a new dog.

Nigel.

But Matt knew he couldn't kill Nigel. Will wouldn't like it. Instead, Matthew hunted.

It only took minutes for him to spot his prey, the next rodent the hawk would pluck away and devour. Some man.

And so he lured. And stabbed. And sliced. And blood sprayed out like a faucet onto his face and clothes and hands, almost matching the bright red blinding his vision. The man had screamed and begged and jerked in vain.

And then the rat stopped.

But the hawk was still hungry.

Three more men died.

Someone called the cops. Not that Matthew knew, until his heart stopped cold. Shouts, sirens, blood, blood, blood. Panic stabbed into his chest and squeezed his lungs.

Matthew darted from the cooling body, gripping his knife and beginning to dash from the motel's backdoor-

Only to hit an officer. The cool metal barrel of a pistol met his forehead.

"DOWN ON YOUR KNEES! HANDS UP!"

The man had cried. The poor man's pupils were blown with adrenaline, his sweaty hands were too easy to disarm.

Matthew needed to escape.

When the officer hit the ground, Matthew ran.

He ran, and ran, and ran, and didn't stop. He couldn't stop. Shrubbery cut him as he brushed by, but he didn't notice. Didn't care.

--

Once the large, well-lit home of Hannibal was in his sights, there was no time to knock.

In Matthew's mind, the police were behind him. They had cars, and guns, and were going to execute him. He would die Will-less. He would die alone. Cold. Just like his victims.

No time to knock.

....

Matthew grunted as he hurdled himself through the window, glass shattering all around him like prickly rain as his body made contact with it. And, again alike him, it fell beside him as he met the ground.

Blood, sweat, tears, exhaustion. Cool wind quickly let itself in through the broken window.

Matthew curled into a ball on the warm carpet. His heart may have actually left his chest. His lungs felt sliced. Everything hurt.

Safe.

[hehehehe]

[a gorgeous intro, love]

It was, by all accounts, something of an unremarkable day. He'd been compelled to speak at a conference, which had taken up a large portion of his time; the endless small talk afterwards had been exhausting, but he'd collected a few business cards for his Rolodex and begun flipping through his recipe list to see if anything met his fancy. His hope was to go out hunting sometime within the week, craving something fresh, inspired by recent events, recent blood spilled, to perhaps even have a dinner party. It had been several months since his last larger event, so he was considering planning another, even if only to keep his name alive among his acquaintances.

Hannibal was sitting down at the kitchen island, sipping a glass of red wine and making an ingredient list for what such a party might require. Already he'd chosen a few dishes, but the main course had yet to be decided upon. Soft classical music played from the Bluetooth speaker positioned nearby, left in the kitchen as he often enjoyed listening to music as he cooked.

The sound of shattering glass was not one that paired particularly well with the music, and his first thought was annoyance and surely needing to replace the window, rather than alarm or concern at what, or who, had broken the window. Naturally he stood quickly, pen and notebook forgotten, to rush into the dining room where the source of the sound had been.

His second guess had been right, that it was a who rather than a what that had broken the window. Of course he recognized instantly that it was Matthew, bloodied far too much to be attributed to the broken glass alone. Concern flared up in his chest, unbidden. He did care for Matthew after all, despite his better judgement.

"Matthew," Hannibal offered lowly, dropping down onto a knee and touching his shoulder carefully, brows knit together and concern evident upon his features. "Matthew, are you hurt?" A foolish question, perhaps, but it was likely that at least some of this blood belonged to the man.

[onyxisnotuniqueenough]

About Karen Page

so. i know this weird little argument should've ended long ago. but i'm in the process of rewatching the defenders saga and i'm actually in the middle of s2 of Daredevil....AND YES I WANNA WRITE A WHOLE TUMBLR POST ABOUT KAREN OK

but first, i wanted to give a little extra info or context or whatever i'm supposed to call it

here are the links to the posts relevant here

0 (me)

1 (me)

2 (me)

3 (nyxxhecate)

4 (nyxxhecate)

5 (nyxxhecate)

also the comments count too. look at whatever nyxxhecate commented on these posts

I unblocked nyxxhecate since i first blocked them, out of honest curiosity. right before i'm writing this actually.

I just wanted to see if they've commented anything else since then or if they made posts on their own about their opinions on Daredevil. Three of the links above are their posts, and idk if tumblr notifies for that but I still don't want to @ them.

I'm not interested in debating with them or starting another argument, and couldn't care less of they see this or not. I am not writing to this person like i was in my other posts, nor am i answering to their comments or whatever points they brought up in their reblogs.

there is ONE thing they said that rang with me though :

"knock your fucking self off that pedestal you're trying to put yourself in. Imagine the level of delusion one must have to think they're intelligent because, *checks notes* they typed in word salad to defend why they like two atrocious TV characters LMAO. You're on Tumblr not the fucking Congress, get a grip IJBOL"

I'm gonna be honest here - I DO enjoy typing word salad. I enjoy writing. I enjoy writing essays. I enjoy trying to use exact words to say what i want to say.

English is my second language, technically, yes, but I have been speaking it for more then ten years, and i'm doing my best to improve because i'm hoping that i'll get to work in english some day. My accent isn't perfect but I'm confident in my spelling and writing and everything.

I've been raised in french, I've done primary, middle and high school in french, and my uni is also french-speaking. I write everything in french all of the time. But since i've taught myself to think in english first sometimes, and none of my irl friends or family like Daredevil or Breaking Bad or anything i like in general - I don't get many chances to argue irl.

So yes, I use Tumblr as an outlet to type as much as I want, even if that means talking to a wall, but at least i get to talk about (IN LENGTH) things i love - and open some kind of discussion (although i'm not blind, i know that rarely anyone replies or anything, but that will hopefully come in time)

---

Now that that's said - let's get to the actual main course :

Karen Page !

As I've said in the beginning i am in the middle of s2 of DD, just finished EP6 : Regrets Only to be precise. I've already got a few things to say.

but first : I'll only talk about her in S1 and S2 and Defenders - because believe it or not, as much as I love Daredevil I AM SORRY but I HAVE NOT YET WATCHED SEASON 3. i miraculously haven't been spoiled about much, all I know is that Matt wakes up in church after his "death", boxes there, there's some kind of detective that seems important and he fights with Fisk again in his black outfit. THAT'S ALL I KNOW AND LET'S KEEP IT THAT WAY.

So.

what do i, Onyx LastName, think of Karen's character.

On my first watch, I didn't like her at all.

Not because she was a "hypocrite"or whatever everyone else is spewing but because I had this huge crush on Matt and was jealous of her.

I'll admit, that's all that my judgement was based on. I thought I didn't like her chemistry with Matt, the way that it made the Nelson-Murdock-Page trio awkward, and how it left Foggy on the sidelines. I like him. I related to him. He was suffering of Sidekick syndrome, with Matt getting powers, getting to be the hero, getting all the ladies, etc etc. I spent my whole life and I'm still actually spending it feeling like I have Sidekick Syndrome myself. If you also feel like you got that you'll know what I mean.

"So Foggy has a special place in your heart. Boohoo. what does that have to do with anything?" You've read this far and you're JUST NOW running out of patience??

Since that initial watch, and after watching countless videos, reading countless fanfics, and honestly my taste just having changed - my perspective of Matt shifted, and so has my opinion on Karen.

I don't think i'm blinded by my attration to Matt anymore, even if he still holds a special place in my heart.

But unfortunately, I still have some issues with Karen's character.

I don't think I've ever really talked about it on here, except maybe with a friend or two in dms, but it's true that I don't really like her. Or how was she was written. This post is not structured or outlined, it's a stream of consciousness...so let's hope i get the answer to that by the end of it.

Now i'm nowhere near agreeing with ANY of what nyxxhecate said, but knowing I wanted to have a definitive opinion of her and make a post about it maybe, I've been looking at her closely during my rewatch - and there are some things I've missed.

So, first, to correct my previous post,

Why is Karen attracted to Matt in the first place?

I made my post about the Foggy and Karen thing before rewatching and refreshing my memory of the ACTUAL EVENTS. I just wrote that in passing after seeing a reaction of that "date" at Mrs. Cardenas.

Here is an updated take :

I think Karen fell for Matt when she first lied to him about keeping the Union Allied file.

You just lived through an intense traumatic experience. You find yourself with a bloody knife in your hand next to the lifeless body of someone you knew and found really nice. Someone tries to hang you in your prison cell at night to make it look like you killed yourself, and no one believes you.

until Nelson and Murdock come in. You're not sure about their intentions at first but they seem kind and most importantly they believe you and are willing to defend you. They're giving you a chance. Not good samaritans but literal guardian angels.

While Foggy is hesitant at first, Matt "I believe you Miss Page"s you right off the bat. (everything's a verb if you squint hard enough)

Matt invites you to his place and assures he'll protect you.

Matt opens up about his blindness and is willing to be vulnerable in front of you.

Matt gives up his silk-sheeted bed to make sure you're comfortable.

All of that when you're vulnerable and Matt is tall and handsome and has this charming smile and ugh. How not to fall for him ? I mean you're wearing his shirt and the beautiful pink lighting in his living room is making everything all romantic. Also if you've noticed the billboard outside his window is for "Xining Airways", company that uses CHERRY BLOSSOM imagery in their advertisement. COME ON.

But then you get to talking about the case again - I mean the reason you're here in the first place - and he asks you an important question.

Did you keep the file?

You lie and say you didn't, feeling your heart beating faster. You're not even sure that sounded convincing at all. And you see the cogs turning in his head, and even if he let you off the hook, you know deep down he didn't really believe it. May seem like me extrapolating here but it IS obvious that he doesn't believe her. But as long as he's not pushing further, that doesn't change much for Karen anyway.

I think that his expression reads that he's seeing right through her.

He believed her when no one else would the first time - but seemingly for no reason.

Matt just KNEW you didn't do it. He saw right through you. You almost feel like he knows what you're thinking.

And again, that kind of connection that you're feeling, in an especially emotionally vulnerable state - plants the seed for love. EASILY.

Any of their awkward flirting before they started dating i am willing to close an eye on.

AFTER THAT? that's just cruel to Foggy and unprofessional and weird in general. Why the HELL are you holding hands in front of whatever DA or cop you just talked to to walk in Frank's hospital room?

Why are you kissing in front of Foggy???

I can understand the thing at Josie's but when you're in the middle of dealing with an extremely important case and Elektra's driver shows up out of nowhere and you're abandoning your partner in a situation that you created and ugh. ew. It's all so weird.

I don't like Karen and Matt dating any more than I did on the first watch but I don't see it through jealousy-tinted glasses and more for what it actually is. misplaced.

Season 2 is the least favorite Daredevil season of anyone I've ever met or talked to and I completely agree that the structure is strange, even if I get what they wanted to do with juxtaposing

Daredevil/Elektra/Hand stuff

and

Matt/Karen/Punisher stuff.

This juxtaposition, while I kinda get the vision, just isn't working. The Hand is the worst plot I have ever seen in my life, and that applies to Defenders too, so that's one reason, but the fact that they tried to mix everything together at once just felt weird pacing wise - and they lost characterization on Matt, Foggy and Elektra's part. All three and their relationships with each other were written weird.

...

Let's get back on track.

Season 2, Karen spends her time investigating and defending Frank.

And that is what she's most criticized for : "protecting and defending frank's actions" and "condemning Matt's lying when she's lying herself."

Frank Castle is a difficult subject.

He is the subject of many debates, wether in the fandom or in the actual show. Is he a hero? Are his murders justifiable? Are Matt and Frank two sides of the same coin? What message is he sending to the audience? How should he be interpreted by his audience? Is Frank redeemable? Is he a glorification or a fetishization of everything that's wrong with the USA? and so on so forth bla bla bla

What matters HERE is what KAREN thinks of him.

Karen is a very determined and ambitious journalist, to say the least. She'd do anything to get to the truth. These qualities that seem very noble at first are also her main flaws. By putting the story first, she throws caution the wind and that very recklessness of hers is what kills Ben Urich, and what compels her to defend Frank so adamantly.

But there's a facet of her personality that I haven't seen being delved into or explained anywhere - her sometimes misplaced but very much there Savior complex, or White Knight syndrome.

She empathized and honestly liked Mrs. Cardenas (a cute old little guatemalan christian lady, who had no one). She wanted to help her. She felt that she was treated unfairly, that all the tenants were treated unfairly, and that was what prompted her to want to take down Fisk. Fisk was using, manipulating and stealing blind people who were already unfortunate. Fisk is lying to the public and hiding his true criminal activities. Savior Complex is activated, now Karen has to find a way to bring him down, even if that means putting her nose where it doesn't belong and provoking the death of Ben Urich.

Now let's look at the situation in S2.

She empathizes with Frank Castle (a man who's entire family got killed and now has no one). He has some kind of moral code that seems noble to her. She feels that he's being treated unfairly, that no one is taking his dead family into account, or what he's already done as a soldier. Frank is unapologetically admitting and sticking by his actions and his code. He doesn't want to hurt anyone that doesn't deserve, in his eyes, to die. Reyes is not upholding her side of the wit-pro deal (She used Grotto as bait, someone Karen already empathized with). Reyes was purposefully trying to get Frank the death penalty for her own gain (she had her eye on the mayor's office) and is hiding a shady past. Savior Complex is activated, now Karen has to find a way to prove that Frank's not all bad and to expose Reyes, even if that means putting her nose where it doesn't belong and overstepping boundaries when she's not a lawyer, and frankly doesn't deserve to get Ben's desk or his job.

When you finally pin down her behavioral pattern and why she acts how she acts, it's easier to understand.

So yes, I understand Karen. (In my opinion at least.)

What makes her who she is is that savior complex of hers, that MORAL code of her own. How she sees herself and what she thinks is her PURPOSE is how she justifies her mistakes, or the risks she takes, to herself. As means to an end.

She doesn't seem to doubt herself or question herself enough to see that her behavior, even if her goal is noble, is not always right.

Her believing that she acts as a savior to others is precisely what makes her a little self-centered.

And, because Matt has this problem too sometimes, she is an interesting character to compare to him.

But now, see, as i've spend a lot of time writing this, my own cogs are turning. I think I've identified what my problem is with Karen.

It's how she's framed. by the writers. by the show.

We see Matt's guilt but don't see hers.

We see his internal turmoil but not hers.

We see him doubt himself all the time and seek for answers in his faith or in people but not her.

If we got to see Karen doubt herself more, show more of her guilt over her killing Wesley, her causing the death of Urich, that would make for a much more likeable and relateable character.

When she argues with Matt or something, what she says makes it seems "hypocritical" of her not to hold herself to the same moral standards than she does others.

But I don't think seeing the flaws in others means you don't see your own. Again, if we had seen Karen questioning and doubting herself, and feeling guilty for what she's done (and not just crying or having ONE nightmare about it. Her trauma should have been more explored in general. from the beginning.) then we'd see that she is self-aware and recognizes her own mistakes and her continuing to feed into her savior complex is her way of finding closure. or trying to save herself from being completely consumed by her own guilt.

So yes. I don't like Karen, not because I don't like her, but be..cause...I wish... we'd seen more of her? or at least framed her differently?

I didn't think I'd reach that conclusion. I thought I'd actually find a real reason not to like HER.

But that's maïeutique for you i guess. or to put it differently, rubber-ducking, right? Isn't that programming lingo?

Also maybe i'm not completely over how Matt and Karen third-wheeled Foggy. or how Matt doesn't really fit with any of his on-screen love interests and how I wish they hadn't dated. but that's a story for another day.

Thank you for reading this far, if you're still here! Tell me your thoughts and opinions on Karen or my own way of explaining it :)

[thematthewlover]

Lips of an angel ~ Chris Sturniolo

part 2 of CHEATER

Warnings: Cussing, mentions/threats of physical violence, mentions of sex, cheating, also this is no hate to Tara I love her!

Recap: Y/n was in a relationship with Chris Sturniolo for 3 years, until one day when her bestfriend, Tara Yummy came over to her and the triplets' house.

Summary: Y/n catches Tara and Chris in his bed together and goes ballistic.(I don't blame her lmao)

"I gotta go guys" Y/n says with anxiety in her voice as she runs out the door. "Y/n, what happened?" Nick asks with worry in his face, he sees Tara at the top of the stairs and puts the pieces together, "You asshole." Nick says to her as he runs after Y/n with Matt following behind.

"Y/n stop!" Nick says, Matt following him, "What do you want?" Y/n asks. "I just wanna talk to you." Nick says, "What the hell happened?" Matt adds. "Chris and Tara have been fucking behind my damn back, that's what happened!" Y/n yells, "I'm so sorry, babe." Nick says with sympathy in his voice as Matt gives her a hug. "It's fine, they can be happy with each other." Y/n says, "Actually I wanna go beat her as-" Y/n says as Nick pulls her arms, "Nope we're not doing that." He says.

"So you're on her side?!" Y/n yells, "No I'm not, I just think there's a better approach to this rather than Tara leaving with a black eye and a broken nose." Nick says. "Lets just go talk to them and try to sort things out, Chris is still our brother after all." Matt tells her.

"Chris! Tara! Get your asses out here!" Nick yells, "What the hell do you want?" Chris asks, Y/n sees a hickey on Tara's face and her heart shatters even more than it did before. "We just wanna talk" Matt says in a calm tone, "Yeah, so how the fuck do you have the AUDACITY to go and cheat on Y/n WITH HER BEST FRIEND and NOT feel sorry at all?!" Nick asks Chris. "Yeah about that.." Tara responds.

"I've been forcing Chris to be in a second relationship with me to get back at Y/n." Tara says. "Get back at me for what?" Y/n asks with genuine concern in her face, "For being with Chris." Tara clarifies. "What?" Matt, Nick, and even Chris all look at her in disbelief. "You told me it was because you wanted to make your ex jealous." Chris says. "Sorry.." Tara apologizes, "I love you, I really do Y/n." Chris says, "Tara told me that If I told you about what was going on, she would post all of my nude pictures on the internet for all of our fans to see." Chris explains to his girlfriend. Y/n saw the genuine face he made and knew he was telling the truth, "What the hell is the matter with you?!" Y/n says to Tara. "Just because you have a crush on my boyfriend and wanna fucking ruin my life, doesn't mean you have to ruin his too." Y/n yells in her face.

"Get the hell out." Matt tells Tara, she leaves with no argument. "I'm so so so fucking sorry sweetheart." Chris says with sympathy in his voice. "It's okay Chris, but next time something like that happens, please tell me." Y/n tells him, "Okay, I will, I love you." Chris reassures her. "I love you too." Y/n says.

a/n: Happy ending yayyy, also this is ZERO hate to Tara. I love Tara and I guarantee she wouldn't do that.

[thenickgirl]

FWB!Matt HeadCanons

matt x fem!reader

disclaimer: this is all fictional, and based on my own conclusions.

warnings: not proofread, suggestive, cursing

a/n: hi, so um i can’t promise how good this will be lmao. i realized half way through that i can really only write for nick 😭

a/n: hiii again, this was a fun lil collab with @nickypooh, she posted a chris version on her account. you should go check it out! ❤️‍🔥

✭ you and matt weren’t best friends but you were sorta close, and it was no doubt you found one another very attractive.

✭ it started one drunken night after a mutual friend’s party, you and matt were dancing then one thing led to another. that was months ago.

✭ you both agreed to not catch feelings, just wanting to keep things physical.

✭ nick finds out after catching you two in bed one morning, but after cursing you both out, he lets it go.

✭ matt is definitely the jealous type, even though you both have made it very clear you’re just friends.

✭ he’s so possessive, he could care less that you’re not actually his girl.

✭ when he’s upset, he loves to take his frustration out on you, and you definitely don’t mind that.

✭ ther’s lots of 3 am “hey u up?” or “wyd?” texts

✭ he hates when you go on dates with other guys, he’ll always try to find a way to keep you from going. just to tick him off more, you would send him your outfit, and after only minutes later your doorbell is ringing.

“you really thought i was gonna let you go out with that fucking loser? hm? no one can fuck you as good as i can, princess.”

✭ at parties, he keeps a close eye on you, watching you dance with some random guy. next thing you know, you’re being pushed against a bedroom wall, his ringed hand snaking it’s way around your throat.

“i told you, stop fuckin playin’ with me, you’re mine and mine only.”

✭ on the nights when you’re not over at his place, he’s constantly texting you, asking for you to come over.

✭ he likes to act dominant, but it’s hard for him not to sub a little when it comes to you.

✭ when you snap him nudes, he’s rushing over to your place, before you know it you’re on all fours, asking him to fuck you harder.

✭ he likes to leave hickies/marks all over you, and watch you struggle to explain where they came from.

✭ even though nick and chris know what’s going on between the two of you, you keep it a secret from your other friends.

✭ this little arrangement seems to work out very well for the both of you.

🏷️: @mattslolita @muwapsturniolo @guccifrog @luverboychris @freshloveforthefit @sturniolossss @mybelovednick @imsosillygoofylol @ghostking4m @orangelala @matty-bear @moonk1ss3d @certifiednatelover

[im-out-of-it]

I just have some thoughts since I’ve watched the first three episodes now. some things I’m glad the show did and also the things that irritated the fuck out of me so let’s go 👏🏼

1. aging the characters up. I think this is smart to do and there’s more you can do with the rest of them if they’re in their early twenties instead of being teenagers. sorry not sorry but I’m not interested in seeing teenagers being chased by grown adults

2. Clary is still beyond annoying. I know she’s traumatized by losing her mom and not understanding this new world but literally coming in “I don’t care about the clave, about your rules, I just want to find my mom.” yeah ok we get that but there are still rules that need to be followed. you’re out here almost getting people killed and it’s all in the name of your mom. and I’m not saying the clave is trustworthy because they’re massive dicks but you can’t go around running and doing whatever you want lmao

3. please give Alec a raise or a year vacation. the amount of shit he deals with having to be jaces parabatai is too much. honestly, Alec deserves better. Jace takes advantage of Alec and I would have loved to see Alec have another parabatai, one that cares for him. I know you can only have one BUT CUT THE FUCKING CORD PLEASE

4. Magnus is fucking perfection

5. Izzy is perfection too 🔥 I do not blame Simon losing his tongue over her. my bisexual mind was like OOOOO ALEC NO MAGNUS NO IZZY NO RAPHAEL NO MAIA!!!!!!! NO ALL OF THEM

6. Clary and Jace are very cringe and I’m not sure if that’s on the acting or the writing but it makes it hard to believe they’re “in love.” I felt more connection with Alec and Magnus meeting for a second than I did with jace and clary in three episodes. even Alec and jace have a bit more chemistry than he does with clary. and that is something I DO NOT ship

Jace: I would die for you

Clary: but jace we just met

Jace: I don’t care if I throw all my friends and family away clary. we’re destined to be together

7. superb acting from Matthew Daddario. he’s absolutely wonderful and he really captured Alec’s angst in my opinion. you can see why he’s on guard not only because he likes jace (ew my man Alec WHY) and because he’s worried about the safety of his people. I feel like Matt captures the emotion without saying a thing so well. as does Harry. I think they’re both great at this

8. “This would be bad for clary.”- (talking about the cup and valentine) Simon “it would be bad for all of us”-Izzy. of course in Simon and clary world, everything is all about clary. I get simon is worried about his bff but this affects EVERYONE

9. if Simon was my bff and someone as jace talked to my friend that way, ABSOLUTELY FUCKING NOT. she doesn’t really say much, she’s all like “we’re a package deal.” honestly clary and jace belong together because they both take advantage of their friends. they’re both so self centered so let them run away as far as possible together

10. Alec is big sad now but you will have better, just you wait. also want to add, I enjoy season one for the build up Alec and Magnus but man do I hate Alec pinning after jace 🤢 but if there isn’t any incest, it’s not a proper CC story

11. Im just here for the Malec content. stuff that show did well: Alec and Izzy’s sibling relationship. I love these two so much. Clary actually being nice to izzy and being her friend, and not being mean to her cause she’s jealous. Magnus’s whole attire. I love this bi king so much. I love magnus, I love his sass, his makeup, his clothes. I LOVE HIM. I wish they would’ve changed his hair and makeup more in the last two seasons. kinda feel like they thought oh he has mascara on, that’s good enough. that pink hair is truly one of my favorite Magnus looks.

12. last thing to add that I like what the show did. I love that Alec actually knows how to fight. it never made sense in the books that he’s never killed a demon, especially since he’s a Lightwood. never made sense to me. I’m glad they allowed in the show for Alec to actually be able to fight 🏹

that is all for now until I watch actually one of the best episodes of season one. Magnus and Alec meeting 🥰

[gutsfics]

Wes & Ezra becoming a couple

takes place a few years after graduation. Ezra is well on track to becoming a famous musician & Wes is doing Dubiously Legal Wes Things. they run into each other in vegas & get married as an alibi for Wes. they slowly realize they actually do have feelings for each other

Dubiously Legal Wes Things being something that's illegal, but tbh shouldn't be. i haven't decided on what it is specifically, but Wes is the kind of guy to help people in tricky situations w the law. specifically shitty laws that hurt people more than they help/are just an excuse to get more people in prision

prime specifically -- tbh im ignoring choices hss w my hss fics. at least for the prime cast

Simon, Wes, & Ezra becoming a throuple

Payton hosts a post-college-grad meetup party for the prime squad. in a good-natured attempt to get Simon and Nishan back together (they dated briefly in high school, & it fell apart bc they were dumb, immature teens who couldnt communicate) she suggests a game of Truth Or Dare Or Drink. the plan backfires and instead of Si kissing Nish and getting back together w him, he kisses Ezra, then Wes bc he feels bad for kissing a married man and wants to even it out, and then ends up in a throuple w them

oph chap1 rewrite from Ethan's perspective, Baxter as mc

exactly what it says on the tin. ive been interested in writing this for a while bc Baxter is considerably more prickly than the canon mc, and would have the final word in Ethan berating them for "almost fucking up" w that patient right at the beginning

Baxter's emotional response to losing a patient for the first time

Baxter is really.... Not Great at regulating their emotions in a healthy way and tend to Repress Everything. losing Dolores is the first time since like childhood that they Properly Experience Emotions. so basically this one'll b a big ole emotional hurt/comfort

post book2 funeral scene w E/B

listen. Baxter and Ethan would Not fuck in a car right after a funeral. Baxter would invite him inside & they would cuddle and talk.

followup to the pregnancy fic i posted a few months ago

Thomas miscarried a week after it takes place (i dont think ill write that specific bit, depends on how i feel), but this fic takes place a few months after that. RCD MC (named Macy) and Matt announce their own pregnancy shortly after returning from their honeymoon. Thomas gets jealous, Avalon gets sad, and they talk about where they want to go next vis-a-vis The Whole Having Kids Thing. (whoops i think thats the title there lmao that was unintentional when i wrote that). transguy mpreg if it wasnt obvious

Avalon Birthday Fic (doubles as a valensday fic)

I Am Going To Be Real With You, I Don't Have A Plan For This One. but its almost Ava's bday/valensday so. eh. maybe ill figure something out

hi for the love of god hello finish the fcking 1st chapter of the rcd rewrite

i swear to GOD its almost done. i just wanna add another scene. for context.

[inkforhumanhands]

Rules: List your WIPs below (if you only write one fic at a time, feel free to include future WIPs/ideas!) then answer the following questions. Then, tag as many people as you have WIPs (or more).

1. WIP List:

Epistaxis Anime

Out of the Darkness, Into the Limelight

A Gentleman Caller

MikeFoggy fake dating

Bloom (I Had a Dream About You) mattfoggy pwp

Don't Give Yourself This Excuse

Saint Anthony helps Matt find kidnapped Foggy fic

Foggy Nelson, Super Sleuth!

s2 Karen thinks mattfoggy breakup is romantic and not DD fuckery

Foggy and Karen go to witch to resurrect Matt post-Midland Circle

s3 alcoholic Foggy angst

v1 Matt dates Daredevil

His Wife Has Filled His House With Chintz

v2 Matt has sex dreams about Foggy while he's in witpro

v3 Ben Urich plays mattfoggy matchmaker

v4 Foggy cancer arc getting jealous that Matt gets to go places with Kirsten in public

v5 purple children mind wipe happens while Matt and Foggy are dating

v6 Matt hasn't slept with Foggy because of his tendency to go all in on relationships

v7 Goldy threatening Foggy and Matt going apeshit

Guesswork (the OC fic)

The Good One (the OC oneshot)

Hannigram obsession fic

Matthias & Maxime prequel

2. Which of your WIPs is currently the longest?

Epistaxis Anime at almost 27k

3. Which WIP do you expect will end up the longest?

Probably EA but Guesswork is already at 12k and I'm not 100% sure where it's going to end up. Also Limelight was originally planned to clock in at 20k but chapter 1 is already like 8k so....... we'll see.

4. Which WIP is your favourite to write/the most enjoyable to write? Why?

This rotates lmao which is probably why I never seem to finish anything adfsdf. I have a lot of fun with many of these but especially (in no particular order): MikeFoggy fake dating, Gentleman Caller, Limelight, Chintz, EA, and Guesswork

5. Which WIP do you find the most intimidating to write? Why?

This also rotates and is mostly because if I start writing something too well I feel pressure to keep it up. Right now on my list of "omg what will i do if i fuck this up" fics are Chintz, Limelight, and mikefoggy.

6. Which WIP do you experience the most self-doubt about. Why?

Again, this rotates!! I am struck by crippling self-doubt about like every 500 words (at least) of any WIP.

7. Which of your WIPs will you seek out a beta/sensitivity reader for? Why?

I asked the lovely @iheartallthethings to give Guesswork chapter 2 a quick read-over because I've never actually been to a bar mitzvah and she was very helpful!

8. Have any of your WIPs been struck by the curse of writer's block?

HAHAHAHAHAHA DON'T TALK TO ME ABOUT SUPER SLEUTH

9. Which WIP has your favourite OC? Tell us about them?

If Saint Anthony counts as an OC then him lmao. I only have like 500 words of him but he's great.

10. Which WIP is the sexiest?

Chintz!

11. Which WIP is the angstiest?

Don't Give Yourself This Excuse. It's literally suicidal!Matt so. boom.

12. Which WIP has the best characterisation (in your humble opinion)?

Either Guesswork or Limelight probably.

13. Which WIP has the best scene setting (in your humble opinion)?

I'm pretty partial to the opening scenes in Limelight and Gentleman Caller, but also the opening to Chintz is gonna knock all your socks off!

14. Which WIP have you worked the hardest on?

Ooh, difficult to say. I've definitely put a lot of hours into EA but probably Guesswork or Limelight. I rewrote parts of Guesswork chapter 2 like five times and it was awful lol.

15. Which WIP do you have the highest expectations for? Why?

Limelight because I love the movie it's based on and if I can capture even a quarter of that magic it's gonna be fantastic.

16. Do you dream about any of your WIPs?

Nope, my dreams don't usually go where I'd like them to.

17. Do any of your WIPs have particular complexities that your other fics don't?

Guesswork because it's sensitive subject matter (lingering trauma) seen through the lens of a character who hasn't experienced it himself and therefore doesn't understand it/keeps fucking up because of it.

18. Which WIP is the funniest or has the most humour?

mikefoggy and Gentleman Caller, although Limelight is also pretty funny in parts. oh and EA is delightful if I do say so myself.

19. Do any of your WIPs contain outside POVs or a deep dive on a character other than the main ship? How are you finding that process?

Saint Anthony is an outside POV (partially anyway, it alternates between him and Matt) and it's fun to see things through the eyes of someone who has much less stake in what's happening while Matt's tearing New York apart.

20. Tell us one thing we don't know about one or more of your WIPs.

Don't Give Yourself This Excuse's title and idea were taken from Peaky Blinders. Tommy's sister Ada tells him that after some kids were blown up in a bomb meant for him and his enterprise and she's afraid he'll act on his suicidal tendencies because of it.

oopsies almost forgot to tag people: @amazing-spiderling @pomegranate-belle @udekai @stripedscribe @neonbrutalism and alll the people i definitely 100% forgot

[non-neutoniangender]

CR episode 28: the death wish run thoughts lol

Omg I love that everyone just wanted to forget about the nordverse. Because honestly, me too

Also I'm so excited for this one, it seems cool.

Going back to the knitting projects, hoping to finish one before the end of the episode

These names are good!!!!!!also so are the minis!!! Matt you crazy man

"We might be able to borrow a welding torch from somebody, but I'd be welding for the first time"

Damn they keep coming up with bad ideas of things to do with FCG

"The tangle foot bag lasts for an hour" what the fuck Liam what the fuck. Christ almighty

Sam actually weighing the pros and the cons, character growth. (I knew he acually was a good player, he's just such a comic)

Chrtney is gonna be drinking and driving after breaking his own code

"It seems to work fine" damn words you never want to hear from your DM

These bitches badass

THATS WHAT IT WAS!!!!! Otohan was the woman from Imogen's dream!?!?!? The plot THICKENS!! this is so cool what the hell. So she must also be Ruidis born?

I love how Matt paints a scene

MARIOKART

Depending if I'm good or evil.... FCG.... buddy are you okay?

BEES!!!!!

Oh Shit!!! I just watched M9 reunited, im used to lvl 17 hp, not lvl like 5. Good God. They're so fucked?

Also I watch long combat stuff at a faster speed, but its more anxiety inducing, because everyone moves faster.

The blindness was clutch/brilliant

lolol Matt just springing the "this cave is fucking dark" on them lol

Matt with this creature!!!!

Dusk has lay on hands!?!?!? (Also being stingy?? Christ)

I sooooooo want to learn more about Otohan

God I love Marisha's acting

FCG's just talking gibberish is wild

Detect thoughts on Dusk??? No thoughts!?!? No MIND!!!! What the hell

"Are you staring because you're jealous"

Fearne!!?!?!?!!!!!!!!

Daaaaamn chetney just fucking Spouting shit and it seems to be right lol OOP INTER PARTY WHISPERS!?!?!

Wow I love how on the same page Matt and Erika are.

The realization in fearnes face that chetney might kill her parents for money is priceless

Dusk is a MESS lmao Holy shit

Orym is feeling lonely :( (holy shit is he missing Ashton or am I projecting (like I know he's missing Will but like recently))

Also hell yea the observant feat

It's like a wall.... this has got to be some level of mind shielding

Oh No not the 6 years 90 years problem..... the feywild do be wild dont it

Uh oh Dusk never met Birdie!!! Red flags

A tattoo that engulfs Dusk!?!? Oh no. Bro are you a huge fey in disguse

THE NEW CHARACTER ART!?!?!?!?

Oh NO!!!!!!!!

Changeling shit! Fey shit! Nightmare king shit!

Oh my god I am so excited / scared

Scarf progress.... maybe? Done with length and can move on to finishing details?