#Mark Egan | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

amberjazmyn · 1 year ago

Text

westlife one-shot

𝓲𝓶𝓪𝓰𝓲𝓷𝓮 - make you feel my love 𝔀𝓪𝓻𝓷𝓲𝓷𝓰𝓼 - tears, fluff, workplace homophobia, mentions of abuse, mentions of illness 𝓭𝓮𝓼𝓬𝓻𝓲𝓹𝓽𝓲𝓸𝓷 - through the lyrics of shane filan's "make you feel my love" we see the four members of westlife loving their partner through everything and anything 𝓪𝓾𝓽𝓱𝓸𝓻'𝓼 𝓷𝓸𝓽𝓮 - this came out of nowhere lol, please enjoy! also bold italics is lyrics, italics is like flashbacks and everything else is the regular font.

masterlist - - - mark:

when the rain is blowin' in your face and the whole world is on your case, i could offer you a warm embrace, to make you feel my love.

today had been the worst day in the world for you and you wish you could understand why. also wishing that you were exaggerating. first off, it was raining cats and dogs outside, so loud you personally thought your work building would collapse in on itself and it utterly terrified you. and two, it seemed as though your whole office building and everyone inside of it was on your case and trying to nit-pick at every little thing you did. whether that was in regards to you doing your job properly or just breathing, someone in your office had something to say about it and it almost made you want to scream. but, you remembered you actually liked this job and didn't want to lose it all because you lost control once at a time when you were defending yourself from everyone else's ridicule and judgement. you knew that when things like this happened, when the rain was blowing in your face and the whole world was on your case that your boyfriend, mark, would offer you a warm embrace, making you feel his undying love for you.

however, he still hadn't returned from a summer show in dublin so unfortunately, your boyfriend wasn't going to be home the same time you returned home from work. so, you just sucked those tears back up and pushed on through the rest of the work day. only hoping that no one else would try to test you otherwise you would start to bawl your eyes out and not have the ability to stop. cause once you start, you could find it quite difficult for yourself to stop crying.

continuing your customer service job, which truthfully you didn't need due to your boyfriend's extravagent job but, you still loved it. it started to eventually come to the end of your work shift. when you and the two other work colleagues that were incessant on causing you to almost have a mental breakdown, you just hoped it wasn't you getting yelled at again. and, you somehow managed a shaky breath of relief when you saw the body language your boss had in regards to your colleagues in comparison to you.

"---sir, i'm sorry but, what on earth are we doing in here with...him?" the older work colleague of yours jeered with attitude in his voice as your boss gave him a sharp look whilst you stayed silent, looking anywhere but at your boss and the two other colleagues

"why do you think, todd?" your boss matched todd's attitude as the man stepped down as he gulped before your boss couldn't stop himself from continuing

"why do you both think it's okay to constantly bother y.n when he's just peacefully doing his job like everyone else, just like he's supposed to? don't you ever get tired of being incessant bullies? don't you ever think that i can actually hear all this bullying and abuse that you're aiming at y.n? do you ever step back and think to yourself how much stress and harm you are putting on him? do you ever step back and wonder if your words actually cause harm to your fellow work colleagues or are you just so ignorant that you no longer care anymore? because that's what i think of you todd and of you as well, richard, and i wish i had found out about this earlier so i could have let you both go before it could have escalated this far. and y.n, i am so incredibly sorry that it's taken this long for me to take action because this behaviour...this homophobic behaviour is never and will never be tolerated in my workplace, not today, not ever! so, todd, richard, it's with my greatest pleasure that today is your final day at this job and you will be fired. because how you behave towards your other work colleagues is simply not tolerable any longer. i'd like to say i wish you both the best but, i'd honestly be lying if i said that so, let's hope the next time i have to see or hear about either of you, both your guys' heads will have been removed out of arses. but in saying that, i don't have high hopes for that...grab your things the both of you and leave, i want you guys clocked out and out of the building before the end of the day..." the man was no longer allowing this abusive behaviour and you couldn't help but feel thankful to him, it was also quite hilarious to see how todd and richard reacted

for those who wanted a mental image of the way these two grown ass adults reacted to their firing was them basically throwing fits in the way a child would if they were told "no, you cannot play on the tablet (child's name) your screen time for the day has finished". as much as you wanted to laugh, you found yourself not being able to because you were just so exhausted from this long and quite frankly traumatic day that you just wanted it to be over. just so you could go home and cacoon yourself in blankets on the couch as you then wait for your boyfriend mark to return home from his show in dublin with westlife. but then you remembered that you still had a job to finish and, just as you went to leave your boss's office, he stopped you.

"...oh, y.n, before i let you go, i am terribly sorry that you had to deal with todd and richard constantly on your case today and every other day. you didn't deserve it and it was completely unwarranted every single time. i wish i had done this firing sooner because they truly don't deserve a place in my workplace if they are being disrespectful to my fellow employees. but especially because of their sexual orientation which is something that is uncontrollable. also, if you wish to, i give you full permission to clock out earlier today since i know how exhausted you are from all of their abuses you've recieved. all i ask is that if you do leave early, that i get a text message reassuring me that you've got home safely, alright? and another one when mark gets home from dublin since i remember you telling me that he returns back tonight, because i want to know that you're being taken care of properly, okay?" tears welled in your eyes as you smiled, making eye contact with your boss as you nodded your head

"thank you sir. all of this has been well appreciated and, i'll be leaving work early since i don't think i feel like i'm in the right headspace to continue so, i'll clock out early. and, i promise, as soon as i get home and then as soon as mark gets home, you'll be receiving text messages from me, don't worry. again, thank you for firing todd and richard and for sticking up for me. i know everyone else has but, having you also stick up for me just makes it a little bit better..." you trailed off as your boss nodded his head and watched as you left his office, a little less of the world weighing you down as you walked out then what you had when you walked in

let's just say you were happily surprised and relieved when you came home to see your boyfriend already home. with his arms open ready to comfort you whilst you just unloaded on him after sending a message letting your boss know you had got home safely and that mark had too and was there with his arms open waiting.

nicky:

i know you haven't made your mind up yet but i would never do you wrong. i've known it from the moment that we met, no doubt in mind where you belong.

you hated being in this position. your childhood best friend, nicky byrne (yes the nicky byrne from westlife was your childhood best friend) had just professed his undying and neverending love for you just hours before he was to leave for westlife's next big world tour. yet, you couldn't give him a yes or no answer. so, you just stood there, in the lounge room of his baldoyle home in dublin, ireland, like an utter loser as you just stared at your best friend.

"...umm, i...i'm sorry what...what did you just say nicky?" you managed to finally stammer out as nicky let out a shaky breath, letting you know he was about to cry and you hated it - you hated being the reason that your best friend was crying

you could tell that nicky didn't want to repeat himself and was about to leave so you stepped forward and grabbed his hand, "no, don't...please don't leave nicky...i just, i know what you said, i heard it but i just...can i...maybe...have some time to think about my answer?" you stammered out as you held nicky's hand tighter as his tears started to trickle down his cheeks as his lip trembled

"umm...yeah, sure....that...that's fine, y.n. i...i'm sorry, i shouldn't...i shouldn't have put you on the spot like that i just...i wanted to tell you before i leave for tour with westlife and i just...truthfully, i panicked and i just--"

"--hey, nicky, calm down bubs. it's fine, you didn't put me on the spot, i just wasn't expecting it but, that doesn't mean i shouldn't not have expected it at all either. but, i'm still okay to think about my answer?" you reassured nicky as he nodded his head to your question of still wanting to think about your answer and if it was okay

"yeah, absolutely, you can think about your answer, take as long or as little as you want. there is no timetable whatsoever, i just wanted to tell you before i left so, yeah..." nicky smiled shyly, wiping away some extra tears off his cheeks as you smiled and moved closer

"...yeah, i get it nico. you didn't want to leave anything unsaid before leaving so you said it all now, it wouldn't be the first time we've done this. because, if i remember right, we had a similar if not same exact conversation when we were fifteen and sixteen right before you left for leeds united and i gave you the same exact answer. except, i never gave you the answer to your question but, this time, i promise i will. because i think this time i'm ready to accept the truth and not be selfish anymore..." you trailed off, giving a quick kiss to nicky's head leaving him confused as he turned around

"...selfish? you're never selfish, y.n..." nicky whispered but you still heard it and you smiled as you opened the front door

"...i never intended to but, yes, i was this time nico. have fun on tour love and i'll be there at the airport waiting for you five to come home!" you smiled and left without another word as nicky was still confused but didn't try to pursue anything more since he was needed at the airport within minutes

nicky had been having the best time on tour with his westlife bandmates but, even that fun couldn't stop the fear of what your answer to his question was going to be when he reunites with you later tonight in dublin airport. he loved you dearly, you both knew this since like mentioned earlier, it wasn't the first time nicky had professed his more than platonic love for you and you had rejected nicky's advances. and honestly, looking back on your fifteen-year-old self now as a twenty-year-old, you thought it was quite selfish. as you remembered the same tearful, devastated face that little sixteen-year-old nicky shared with the same but older, twenty-year-old nicky the second time you "rejected" him. you couldn't keep on pretending that you too hadn't fallen head over heels in love with nicky like he had with you. because, you really had fallen in love with him and probably first fell in love with him when you truthfully first met him when you guys were in primary school. never realising it until you were fifteen, when nicky first tried to ask you out after expressing his love for you. you knew he would never do you wrong and he'd treat you like an absolute queen. seriously, he had seen you be mistreated since you were fifteen, after he left for leeds united and it bothered him so bad that he couldn't do anything to stop it. even after he pleaded with his dad, nikki sr, to keep an extra close eye on you to make sure there were no physical injuries. you still refused to believe that your ex-boyfriends were abusive and bad because you didn't want to believe you were in love with your childhood best friend who you'd known since first grade in primary school.

except, now that you had the conversation a second time with nicky at an older and slightly more mature age and just before you two would be apart for the best of a few months. you finally realised you couldn't be selfish anymore and you could no longer hide your true affection for nicky anymore. so you didn't want to hide it anymore. as you impatiently waited at dublin airport with the other westlife girlfriends, kerry and gillian, bryan and shane's girlfriend's, you went back and forth in your mind of how you were going to tell nicky that in fact, you too were in love with him and you wanted to be with him for as long as forever. but, just as you could think up of what you wanted to say to nicky, you heard kerry and gillian let out the loudest screams in the world, kerry yanking on your hand as you looked up.

and all of a sudden, you couldn't stop your hand from sliding out of kerry's or your legs from moving forward. bursting out into tears, you ran as fast as you could as you barely noticed the way nicky's face lit up in excitement and slight anxiousness as you ran closer to him. since you were a loud crier, you basically had the entire arrivals terminal staring at you. and not just because there was an award-winning, irish boy-band returning home via a normal commerical airplane and walking through a regular airport terminal rather than a private one right at the back of the airport where no one else would see them return home and potentially infiltrate them.

you finally got closer to nicky who quickly dropped his duffle bag and opened his arms knowing you were going to jump into them since it was something you always did. however, this time, it was different and he couldn't understand why until...

...you grabbed his face and kissed him in the most passionate way you had ever kissed anyone before in your entire life. nicky, at first, of course was shellshocked and understandably, mortified. but, as soon as he tasted the saltiness of the tears streaming down your cheeks on his lips, he didn't hesitate a second longer and started kissing you back. as cheers, applauses and wolf-whistles galore filled the arrival terminal at dublin airport as nicky's bandmates, kian, bryan, shane and mark watched on as kerry and gillian held tightly onto their own boyfriends with the biggest smiles on their faces. all of them happy that nicky would no longer have to be devastated or fearful of his best friend not reciprocating her obvious love for him anymore.

"...i love you, i love you, i love you, i love you nicky! i love you so fucking much and i am so sorry for being so selfish in not telling you. i didn't really need time to think ahout my answer, i just said those things because i didn't want to allow myself to believe that i was in love with my best friend. and it was so selfish of me and i cannot believe i made you cry like that and i just wish i could---"

kissing you again, nicky pulled apart this time after initiating the second kiss, "---shut up will you, y.n, you really must love the sound of your voice if you're still too thick in the head to think i don't forgive you because i do forgive you. believe me, it took me way too long to pull my own head out of my arse because i also refused to believe that i was in love with my best friend as well. but, i put on my big boy pants and i told you two times, once when i was sixteen and about to leave for leeds and the second time when i was twenty and leaving for westlife's first ever headlining tour. and it was because i didn't want to leave you without thinking i had forgotten anything and i didn't because i told you that i was head over heels in love with you. and unlike anyone else i'd ever loved before and it broke my heart hearing you say you needed more time to think about it even though you had given me the same answer the first time and actually never gave me a response. because you just couldn't face it at the time and that's okay because this time you did and i couldn't have loved you anymore y.n. i mean...i...i've known it from the moment we met and there was no doubt in my mind where you belong and that's with me and no one else..." nicky trailed off, tears welling in his eyes as you smiled as you initiated a third and one last kiss as the both of you couldn't stop laughing and crying and hugging each other

although it had taken years upon years of selfishly pretending you weren't in love with your best friend, you were glad it had taken a westlife headlining world tour to kick your arse and head into gear. as well as it (your head) being removed from your arse and realise that you couldn't be selfish anymore. and you had to acknowledge that you couldn't fall in love with someone else because it was always going to be nicky. and now, as you held tightly onto one another as you walked through dublin airport with the rest of the westlife lads, kerry and gillian, you couldn't be any happier with your life. especially now that you had nicky with you forever and he was more than just your "childhood best friend".

kian:

i'd go hungry, i'd go black and blue, i'd go crawling down the avenue. no, there's nothin' that i wouldn't do, to make you feel my love

you struggled to believe it. kian utterly refused to believe it. and he wished there was something he could have done to prevent it from happening...

"...mr egan...did you hear what i just said?" kian lifted his head up from staring at the carpeted floor in your, his wife's oncologist's office, with eyes that couldn't lie - your husband hadn't been listening at all to anything your oncologist had just said during the entire duration of them being in there

"ah, no i...i didn't, sorry, what were we talking about doctor marshall?" kian gulped as he squeezed your hand tighter as you smiled with a soft and tenderness at him as doctor marshall smiled too

"don't apologise mr egan, things like this can happen. especially because of how difficult it can be to comprehend your spouse having what can turn into a terminal illness, a lot of spouses will often pretend they didn't hear the diagnosis because they don't want to believe that their other half could be so sick..."

oh, that's why they were visiting doctor marshall, he was giving a diagnosis to you, kian's wife, in regards to all the blood tests and other scans that you had been doing after you had been dealthly sick. and no one, not even your local gp in strandhill, sligo, could provide you with an answer so they referred you over to doctor marshall in north-west dublin. kian had completely forgotten about that since he had been worrying about everything else that he couldn't even remember why he was in north-west dublin with his wife and almost bursting out into tears in doctor marshall's office.

"...oh, umm, doctor marshall, will...is y.n able to undergo rounds of chemotherapy or any other form of can...treatment for her illness?" kian stammered out as tears started to get him choked up as you stayed stoic and comforted your husband - you had a feeling that this doctor's appointment wouldn't be a happy and easy one to get through

"now, mr egan, of course she is able to. we always suggest that the smartest and most logical idea, especially when we detect and diagnose the cancer early that going through treatment will give us and your wife the highest rate of surviving her cancer which is what we want. but, of course, we can't just force y.n to undergo treatment just for our own selfish needs. it has to be of her own wishes and accord because we don't know if the person suffering with the illness really wants to go through the process of the treatment and its side effects that it comes with as well as the long and constant hospital stays as an inpatient. so, if the both of you need some time to hash it out, i am absolutely fine with giving you guys a chance to chat and decide whether or not you, y.n, would like to go through with treatment or if you don't and after that, we can go from there, alright?" doctor marshall explained as you and kian nodded your heads as you held each others hands tighter

"thanks, doctor marshall, we shouldn't take long..." you trailed off for the first time since the beginning of the appointment as you could hear your husband attempt to quieten his sobs as his body shook, his free hand covering his mouth as his eyes clamped shut tight

you knew this was breaking your husbands heart. he had lost his own dad to cancer back in 2009 just before westlife returned from their year off and now, he had to go through that all over again with his wife? how on earth was that fair to kian? it wasn't, it wasn't fair at all. however, you were determined to survive and beat your cancer for kian's dad kevin who wasn't able to. you were determined to get to the end of your chemotherapy and ring that goddamn bell at the end of it all for those who never got to.

reaching over doctor marshall's desk to the tissue box, you grabbed a few and handed them to your husband as he wetly giggled. grabbing one of them and wiping his tears after pocketing the others, "...thanks babe..." he muttered as you kissed his temple softly as you continued to squeeze his hand comfortingly

"...so, doctor marshall wants us to discuss the idea of me going through treatment. so, how do you feel about me doing that?" you questioned, your head tilting to the side as kian looked at you as though you were insane - which, in fairness, you were a little bit but, that's why kian fell in love with you in the first place

"why are you asking me this, y.n? how do you the one who's actually going to through it, feel about it? this has nothing to do with me and everything to do with you. just like doctor marshall said, just because i may want and heavily suggest you do it, if you don't want to do it, i respect your decision. and i will do everything i can do to make this journey easier for you! this is not my decision to ultimately make, babe!" kian's tears were still heard in his voice although his sobs had calmed down as you sighed and nodded your head, smiling softly

"okay. well, it wasn't a hard decision, kiki. i want to go through with the chemotherapy, especially because doctor marshall said that we caught it early that i have a higher chance of surviving. i...i want to ring that bell at the end of chemo because dad never got to, kevin never got to ring that bell and i want to do that. i can't bare the thought of you losing another person you love with your entire beating heart to cancer because that's just unfair. so, it's best i start now when it's still early in the cancer to do so..." you trailed off, your heart breaking as your husband's sobs returned at the mention of his dad's death to cancer alongside the possibility of his own wife losing her cancer battle as well

"...i can't either, y.n. i can't lose you either! i barely survived losing dad, i can't lose you too! i don't want to!" kian sobbed as he folded in on himself, his pain immeasurable as you reached over the chair's arm and hugged your husband as tightly as you possibly could as he weeped

"you won't lose me baby! i'm going to get through this cancer, i'm gonna ring that bloody bell. and then we're going to rest and then after that, we're gonna have as many kids as we possibly can and we're gonna live happily ever after, i promise..."

...psh, yeah, happily ever after my arse! once again, almost like a coda to the day you were diagnosed with cancer, you were stoic and unemotional. whilst kian, your husband was almost weepy at doctor marshall's check-up with you at the cancer hospital in north-west dublin. for some context, not too long after that doctor's appointment where you were first officially diagnosed, within a month, you were admitted to north-west dublin's cancer hospital as an in-patient. and that was so you could start your cancer treatment basically straight away to give you the best chance of survival and eliminating the cancer all together.

however, this is where the "pssh, yeah, happily ever after my arse!" comes from. because, just this last couple weeks, you'd been blindsided with a dangerous infection in your bloodstream which nearly rendered you into a coma if the nurses hadn't noticed it in time. and, even though, like your cancer, the nurses caught the infection early, it still didn't stop you from being in dangerous waters. so, you had to constantly fight every single day by forcing yourself to keep your eyes open. force yourself to eat, to drink and to walk around the upper cancer unit for ten minutes a day before returning back to your hospital room so you could then spend a couple of hours with kian and someone else that he'd invite to come with him. the "someone else" was usually nicky, shane or mark but today, it was all three of them because your oncology team had a terrible gut feeling. and whilst they wished it to be a false alarm, they wanted to make sure kian had enough people around him to comfort him if their gut feeling was to follow through and come true.

kian was currently sitting uncomfortably, with his legs crossed like when you were kids at primary school sitting on the floor. his right elbow resting on the arm of the chair and his left arm stretching over to hold yours as you rested, eyes closed, mouth slightly open. your chest ever so slightly rising and falling tucked away under the sheets of your hospital bed. tears were constantly threatening to dribble down kian's cheeks as he constantly willed them away as he breathed shakily in and out. his hand occasionally coming up from the chair arm and covering his mouth for the times he couldn't help a sob and it's escape. and standing all around the rest of the room were his three bandmates, shane, nicky and mark and they were helpless in knowing how to console their bandmate. none of them had gone through the loss of someone they love due to cancer. nicky did lose his dad to a heart attack but, obviously, that was different then the loss of kian's dad to cancer and now the possibility of the same thing happening to his wife. although you were currently unconscious but breathing, you just knew that kian wished it was him in the hospital bed with cancer and this mysterious yet dangerous blood infection. it was completely obvious because kian had been that way ever since you two started dating and even before that when you two were just best friends.

i mean, this man, this lunatic of a man who was crazy in love with you would go hungry for you. he'd go black and blue for you. he'd go crawling down the avenue for you. there was absolutely nothing this looney toon wouldn't do for you because if it showed you how much he loved you, he'd do it. he'd even switch places with you, have himself go through this cancer, the treatment and this awful, stressful, heartbreaking, scary blood infection. if it meant that you were okay and not worried every single day about whether or not you were actually going to end up ringing that bell at the end of your chemotherapy.

and, suddenly, out of pure fight that you still had left in you, you opened your eyes more determined then ever. whilst kian wailed the same way he did when his father took his last breath with shane providing him with some comfort as he kind of rested on top of him. his arms around kian's waist which moved each sob which made shane move slightly. mark and nicky not too far behind kian and shane when nicky's eyes widened, his teary eyes, since kian wasn't the only one in a grief-like state, spoke up in a whisper.

"...ki...y.n's woken up..." nicky whispered and as kian and shane both heard that sentence, their heads shot up and more tears poured down kian's face as he touched your face, shane's arms letting go of his hold on kian

"...oh, baby! are you okay? are you hurt? what hurts? do i need to get the nurse what's--"

"--calm down babe, breathe. yes, i'm okay darling. i'm not hurt, i'm just a little numb and stiff due to the way i've been lying down. and yes, getting the nurse would be a great idea, and i think you should do it because you've been holed up in this room longer than anyone else has. shane, nicky and mark will take immense care of me for the five or so minutes you step out of this room to grab the nurse so don't have a freak out, alright love? i'm still here, i haven't left and i won't leave...now go, get the nurse and doctor marshall," you may have just woken up but that didn't mean you were tired or exhausted because you weren't, truthfully, you felt more alive than you'd ever felt before

agreeing and too tired to think about arguing, kian nodded his head and unlatched his grip from yours and left the hospital room to fetch the nurse and doctor marshall, "okay, i'll be back love. have some water, you must be thirsty, shane'll help you if you need it," kian smiled softly with a tender kiss to your temple as you smiled as you watched him walk out, wiping away his wet cheeks and to the left to the reception desk so they could page for the nurse and doctor marshall

let's just say, from how calm and smiley both the nurse and doctor marshall were, it seemed as though their gut feeling was wrong. and the blood infection had been caught early and it looked as though you were going to make an amazing recovery. from not just the infection but also from the cancer. and that was why the rest of north-west dublin's cancer hospital could hear cheers, screams and just outright excitement coming out of room 4580.

shane:

when the evening shadows and the stars appear, and there is no one there to dry your tears, i could hold you for a million years, to make you feel my love.

you couldn't stay strong anymore so you didn't. you had returned home from ireland to wales, uk, to hold a vigil back in your childhood home for your father who was dying due to respiratory distress. and it had just been confirmed that your father had died. you didn't want to believe it. i mean, what nineteen-year-old wanted to believe that their father has just died after months and months of being bedridden after being diagnosed with respiratory distress? the doctors promised you, promised your whole family that with some sort of miracle drug that was very new but already so revoulationary and able to cure the disease that you were beside yourself that their promise fell on deaf hands and deaf ears. how dare they lie to you and your family? how dare they provide you with such comfort and solace that your dad was going to survive. only then for him to die months later in his bed in the very home you had every single childhood memory in up until age twelve when you moved to sligo, ireland after your parents civily split up. and right now, you just cried. your body fell forward as a loud and guttural sob that sounded as though it was from an animal that was dying fell from your mouth as your knees hit the ground. your arms falling onto your father's bed on which he laid on in his final moments.

it was in that moment that the rest of your siblings, mum and doctor left the master bedroom as you continued to weep. wishing only for the dark to become light again, wishing for your father to open his eyes and just say he was joking. even though he knew that would be too crude a joke to play on his ever-loving family who had never done a thing wrong to deserve that type of tasteless joke. your mum, whilst devastated over the loss of her ex-husband, knew you'd be the most devastated about this and was thankful. praising god that she remembered that shane filan, your boyfriend and member of ireland's boyband westlife, were in wales, cardiff. specifically, for a week-long run of concerts and made the smart decision to ring him up to let him know that your father had died and that you needed comfort. but the only person who could really provide her with the right comfort was shane.

due to your wailing and complete ignorance to the world around you, you hadn't noticed the gentle touch of your gorgeously talented but ever so empathetic and sweetheart of a boyfriend, shane. however, because you could feel the slight change in the air, you could tell without lifting your head up off of your father's bed and current resting place that someone was next to you. it wasn't until you heard his soft voice that you knew instantly by the way of his accent. and how it was obvious he too had spent time crying himself. that it was your boyfriend next to you and not a family member who just carelessly decided to check in on you just for the sake of it.

"...y.n, baby, you can rest now..." shane's soft voice, that sounded like he too had been crying after recieving the phone call from your mother sounded from beside you as you finally lifted your head up from the warm blankets and sheets of your father's bed

"...shay...what...what are you doing here? you're supposed to be in cardiff with the boys, what..." you trailed off, your voice croaky and hoarse from all the wailing you had been doing for what felt like eternity at this stage

"...you are more important, y.n. your mum called me, she told me what had happened..." shane's voice stopped as he got all choked up as tears welled in his eyes as you struggled to hold yourself together again

"...he...my dad's dead shane...he...he isn't coming back...he...he's never going to wake up again..." you sobbed as you fell, instead of collapsing forward onto the bed, you fell sideward onto shane who caught you and held you as more sobs jolted your tired body

"...i know darling and i am so sorry. i wish i could say anything that could ease this hurt but i know nothing can do that!" shane whispered as he held you, rocking the both of you back and forth as tears streamed down the both of your faces whilst your dad's lifeless body laid in rest on the top of the bed that you were still hunched over

the evening started to shadow the master bedroom of your childhood home and you could see the light of the stars started to appear. there was an obvious star that shone the brightest out of all of them. it was clear that that star was none other than your dad reassuring you and the rest of the family that he was safe and that he'd always be there to shine bright every single night. last time your family went through a bereavement, you and shane were only best friends and he was in ireland and you were in wales. which meant that he wasn't just a 45-minute drive away to wipe away all your tears over the loss of your grandpapa when you were a mere twelve-year-old returning back to wales in the same way nineteen-year-old you had returned to wales to stand vigil at your now-dead father's bedside. it was a weird sense of deja vu or like a coda in a movie or song. but, this time you were just grateful that you had shane here with you to comfort you and to dry your tears, to hold you for a million years.

"...shay...i love you so much..." you whispered, your eyes only just staying open since it was now midnight and you and shane were still sitting vigil in your father's bedroom hours after his death date had been called

"...i love you too baby...i think it's time we get some rest and go to sleep? what do you think?" shane whispered as you couldn't help but agree, although you wanted to stay in this room with your father for the rest of eternity, you knew you couldn't do that

"yeah, i don't think dad would want us crying at his bedside for the rest of our lives. i think if he had the ability to become a ghost, he'd definitely tell us off for crying over him *tearful giggles*. besides, i'm exhausted and it's nearly thirty minutes after midnight and you have a concert tomorrow that i don't want you falling asleep during so, it's time for bed..." you trailed off with a broken smile, standing up off the floor from your kneeling grief position and held out your hand for shane to grab it

and he did. with an identical broken smile, he grabbed your hand and stood up as well as you guys walked out of your father's bedroom. not forgetting to quietly close it behind you cause, even in death, it would be rude to loudly close your father's door when he's trying to sleep.

- - -

this was a bit of a fun little thing to write but it was very sad so i do apologise for that however, i do like this chapter very well. i realised the first few of these chapters have been depressing so i need to write happier ones!

ok ily bye xx

wc; 6732

#westlife #mark feehily #nicky byrne #kian egan #shane filan #angst #make you feel my love

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