#Margie the Star Class

[weirdowithaquill]

Traintober 2024: Day 15 - Star

Duck once had a Friend...

Once upon a time, Duck the Great Western Pannier Tank had worked at Paddington Station in London as a station pilot. Paddington was a huge station with several engines just like Duck who rattled about shunting trains for the big engines to take on long journeys all across the West of England and into Wales. Some of these engines were pompous and rude, while others were old and wizened. Duck’s favourite engine at Paddington however was an old, old friend of his.  

Her name was Princess Margaret, and she was a member of the Star Class of GWR express engines. They were old and wise engines, who though displaced from the top link express services by their younger successors the Castles and Kings, still performed admirably.

Duck didn’t get to see his friend much. She worked trains that went right the way out to Wales and back, and so she would often spend the night at her destination before returning. But when Princess Margaret was there, she would always take time out to talk to Duck. The two were as close as engines could be – Margie, as Duck called her, had taught the Pannier everything there was to know about coaches when he’d first arrived, back when she still headed important expresses like the ‘Cornishman’ and the ‘Cambrian Coast Express’. As she’d been displaced first by the Castles, then the Kings, she’d begun running longer-distances, on lighter-laid lines that the two bigger classes just couldn’t travel on.  

“Margie was still in service when I left,” Duck explained to the sheds one evening. The engines at the Big Sheds had been discussing their lives pre-Sodor – the Scottish Twins had spent several long minutes purely explaining why the Thistle was the prettiest flower in the world, while Percy had spent almost an hour going through all the various parts of the country he’d seen. “I feel like she had a good chance of being preserved too. She even got to cameo in that one movie – the Titfield Thunderbolt!”

All throughout this, Bear had been unusually quiet. The former Western-region diesel had had his own stories he wanted to tell, but now he was slightly afraid of speaking up. Oliver noticed. The Great Western autotank was still new to the railway, and didn’t trust Bear yet.

“Well, Bear – you look troubled. Is something the matter?” he asked. Bear winced, his engine making an odd rumbling sound. All the engines looked over, and Bear shrunk back under their attention.

“When I was being built,” he began slowly, “we… uh… I…” Henry smiled sympathetically.

“It’s alright Bear, we won’t hate you for what you have to say,” he offered. Duck, Percy and the other big engines agreed. Bear sighed.

“Princess Margaret was the last Star Class in service,” he said quietly. “And when I was built… she was… being… taken apart at Swindon.” Bear cut off, looking down at his buffers in shame. Duck’s eyes widened.

“She… she was cut up?” he asked slowly. Bear didn’t look Duck in the eye, staring down at the rails instead.

“Yeah. At Swindon. The men claimed they’d waited four years to see if they could find a buyer… and none came for her. I’m sorry Duck – she seemed like such a nice engine. She just told them it wasn’t their fault, and she’d lived a good life…” Bear rumbled out of the sheds to pull the Midnight Goods before any of the engines could say anything. Oliver looked horrified.

“I… I didn’t think he would be so… torn up about it,” he admitted quietly into the night air. “Oliver, I understand you went through something traumatic,” Percy replied darkly, “but you need to learn that not all diesels are evil. Duck… I’m sorry too. It’s hard learning a friend is gone.” Duck didn’t reply, instead staring silently out of the sheds.

His friend had been a real shining star on the Great Western, who’d served them through two World Wars and kept on going even as her class was torn up. And all she got for it was a cold siding at her own birthplace and a cutter’s torch.

Duck wasn’t sure what that said about Swindon’s legacy, but it wasn’t positive.

Back to the Master Post

[msweebyness]

Akuma/Theater Kids Mother’s Day Plans

Howdy y’all! This is what I imagine the Akuma Class and the Theater Kids did for Mother’s Day! For background, you can look at my Akuma and Theater Class families! @imsparky2002 @artzychic27

Marinette sewed a beautiful new Hanfu for Sabine and they got dinner at her favorite restaurant. She also went on a motorcycle ride around Paris with Gina.

Alya, Nora and the twins spent all day in the kitchen cooking an entire Martiniquan banquet for Marlena. Alya also made a montage of photos and videos with her mom for her personal blog.

Nino made a mix of all of Margie’s favorite songs and he and Chris made her favorite dessert. Well, they tried to…

Chloe stole Audrey’s credit card and went on a shopping spree with Zoe.

Sabrina and Tanya went on a mother-daughter shopping trip and got dinner together.

Juleka and Luka treated Anarka (with help from the rest of Kitty Section) to a performance of a bombastic heavy metal version of Drunken Sailor, and they all slept on the deck under the stars.

Rose cleaned the entire house for Lily and arranged a beautifully decorated tea party for the two of them in the backyard.

Kim and his sisters took Mai to an indoor extreme sports facility…and she proceeded to completely kick her children’s asses.

With Markov’s help, Max made his mother an incredibly detailed digital holographic map of the known universe.

Alix and Salma went bungee-jumping before going to dinner and a pro-wrestling match.

Ivan (with help from his dad) made Galina a new bench for her garden, where she likes to sit and read. (it had the family’s names carved in Russian.)

Nathaniel painted a mural for Aya’s cafe of their whole family, and took his mother out for lunch.

Missy visited her mother’s grave and left flowers, sitting to talk to her for a while.

Jesse took Imelda to a local flower show, and they made dinner together. (Mylene also made a flower wreath and card for Imelda, because that woman is more of a mother to her than her own ever was.)

Ayesha made a hand-drawn animation for Megan as card outlining the reasons why she loved her.

Dot and Dolores spent the day helping Enid reorganize the house.

Petra and her godmother went to a pottery studio together, making gifts for each other and for Petra’s dads.

Roxie took Rydel to a concert for a band she loved, who happened to be performing in Paris.

Anthony bought Sylvie a basket of all her favorite teas and they had a horror movie marathon.

Candace and Sandra had a mother-daughter spa day.

Eri and Ryuji took Sasami to a showing of one of her childhood favorite plays, and after that they all gave each other makeovers.

Staci and Yumei just went out on a walk around Paris, doing whatever they felt like.

Margo and Dagny spent the entire day baking and doing crafts together.

Brecken and his sisters made a quilt with treasured family pictures for Rachel and spent the day helping Annie at the shelter.

Soo-Yeon, like Alya, spent all day making Mi Cha’s favorite foods, and after that, they played one-on-one basketball in the backyard.

Parker and Cissy did a mother-daughter obstacle course and went to the gym together.

Mona and Bindi had a movie night and bought all the junk food they could possibly eat.

Evie wrote and performed a song for Carolina, with parts for each of her siblings.

Eloise and Chet had a gaming session with Roerva, who’s actually better than both of them.

Anais took Olive out for dinner and got her a card. Their mother isn’t one for big gestures of affection.

Ondine and her brothers made the mistake of trying to make Haggis like Elsie’s mother would, but…they ended up just ordering a pizza and watching a movie.

Happy Mother’s Day, ya’ll! Shout out to my mom, who is the best! Leave your thoughts in the comments and reblogs!

[theiconicmeghanmarkle]

From Meghan Markle to Brad Pitt — Acting Coach Margie Haber Shares How She Helped Shape Hollywood's Biggest Stars

"I've worked with a lot of people before they've landed a big show, like Mariska Hargitay before she landed Law & Order and Meghan before she was on Suits. Look at her now! It was just before Suits and I was teaching auditioning for film and television, so she was in class for that. She was a really nice person, who was a really good actress and I just helped her create." 

Full article from Instyle here

[margueritehall]

CAN YOU SEE RIGHT THROUGH ME? - YMCULC

all the king's horses, all the king's men, couldn’t put me together again

( the archer ; taylor swift )

marguerite ( maggie ) brynn hall, the gentle bad-ass 

“ show me a hero and i’ll write you a tragedy. ” 

― f. scott fitzgerald

– BASIC INFORMATION – 

» full name: marguerite brynn hall

» nicknames: maggie, mags, margie

» age: twenty seven ( at time of snap ), thirty two ( at time of blip )

» birthday: january eighth, nineteen-ninety-one, ten fifty-five in the morning 

» birthplace: philadelphia, pennsylvania

» zodiac sign: capricorn sun, libra moon, aries ascendent 

» current residence: new york, new york

» gender: cis female

» occupation: social worker for the stark relief foundation displaced children division, later avenger trainee

– HEALTH – 

» physical health: overall, maggie is in excellent health. she works out most weekday mornings and tends to eat a balanced diet. she doesn’t drink too often or smoke at all. she knows that her health conscious habits stem from her need to control everything that she is able to but that doesn’t stop her from being set in her ways.

» scars: she has several small scars from various bumps and scrapes but there is a sizeable scar on the front of her left shoulder from a car accident while she was a freshman in college. a driver t-boned her small sedan in an intersection when she was on her way home from a final exam. when she woke up in the hospital, with both of her parents at her bedside, she had stitches stretching approximately three inches from her clavicle towards her upper arm. 

» broken (any) bones: surprisingly, despite being quite active, maggie hasn’t ever broken a bone. she’s quite graceful from taking dance classes since she could walk until she graduated high school.

– MENTAL HEALTH – 

» extrovert or introvert: since getting older, maggie has become comfortable with the knowledge that she is a relatively private person. when she was younger, she enjoyed being in crowds however, she now tends to retract into her shell when surrounded by too many people. 

» logical or creative: maggie is incredibly logical; she is very formulaic in her thought patterns. when it comes to problem solving, maggie has all but got it down to a science which can be effective but she’d be incorrect to say it was without fault. 

» optimist or pessimist: neither term seems to describe the woman very well; she feels as though she’d call herself a realist. the world has let her down more times than she can count so she makes an effort to always adjust her expectations towards the most-likely event.

» phobias / fears: 

» problems: maggie was diagnosed with obsessive-compulsive personality disorder and generalized anxiety disorder when she was sixteen. she goes through occasional bouts of depression but she doesn’t find it to be chronic. though undiagnosed, following the death of her parents, she experiences the effects of post-traumatic stress. 

– PERSONALITY – 

» goals / dreams: maggie has always wanted to improve the world around her. when she was a little girl, she told her parents that she wanted to be the first doctor to go to space. when she found out that she’d have to be in space for months at a time, she quickly changed her plans. the brain always fascinated her and so she dove headfirst into her newfound passion. following the deaths of her parents, maggie wanted to help others like she wished that she had been and so she, once more, switched gears and went into social work. 

» quirks / habits: maggie is a creature of habit. each morning, she wakes up and opens the curtains around the house before pouring herself a cup of cold brew coffee with cinnamon syrup and oat milk. she makes her bed and begins her day. when she gets home from work, she turns on her fairy lights and fans before removing her makeup and changing in to cozy clothes. as for quirks, maggie wouldn’t say she has any but her friends would be quick to point out her concentration face-- whenever she gets deep in to a hard task, her eyebrows screw up tightly and her lips purse. she doesn’t like to look in mirrors when the room is dark, she only gets out of bed on the left side, and she habitually sings in the shower even when she isn’t home alone.

» likes: precipitative weather like rain storms or snow ( especially thunderstorms ), vinyl records, lighting candles and allowing them to light the room, cooking or baking anything from scratch, old books with notes in the margin from an owner long forgotten, astronomy and any associated phenomena ( especially eclipses and meteor showers ), fleetwood mac and other classic rock icons, acts of service from loved ones, dogs with smushed faces, taylor swift, watching films (or rewatching films, whether new or old), freshly brewed tea, watching the sun set and staying awake to see it rise again, wisteria vines twisting around a fence, ‘casablanca’, f. scott fitzgerald novels, anything that is a dusty shade of sage green, tom hanks, vanilla bean ice cream (not french vanilla), using a polaroid camera to capture a moment, iced coffee with cinnamon, the beach during winter when the northern shores get a little bit icy, long drives at night with the windows down, sitting on the roof in a companionable silence with a loved one,  the color of deep maroon rust, cozy throw blankets and an unnecessary amount of pillows on the couch and bed

» dislikes: too much physical touch, indifference or apathy in the face of injustice, the deafening sound of crickets and cicadas at night, showing any signs of vulnerability, open-toed shoes, powdery or floral scents, olives, thin pillows, overhead lighting (lamps only, thank you very much), lack of a routine, being unable to read situations and prepare adequately, not feeling in control of any situation, harlequin novels, ladybugs and any other insects, disorganization (physically or emotionally.)

» flaws: she feels the need to always be the strong one that she often doesn’t allow herself the freedom to feel without pushing it down. she has a habit of not letting people in, especially people who are new to her, and even when she does, she is always terrified that she’ll lose them like she’s lost most other people that she loved. she is a control freak and can sometimes be a little boss.

– FAMILY – 

» parents:       ; phillip hugh hall ( father / pierce brosnan )      ; allison marie hall née clark ( mother / jamie lee curtis )    

» maternal grandparents:      ; richard ernest clark ( grandfather / tony curtis )      ; virginia ruth clark née franklin ( grandmother / janet leigh )

» paternal grandparents:      ; hugh alexander hall ( grandfather / kris kristofferson )      ; marguerite joan hall née green ( grandmother / ellen burstyn )

» sibling(s): n/a

» children: n/a

– APPEARANCE – 

» height: five feet, two inches

» weight: one hundred fifteen pounds

» eyes: maggie’s eyes are one of her most striking features. the espresso brown orbs are speckled with golden flecks; they’re a rounded, almost almond shape.

» hair: her hair is chestnut brown and it has a tendency to gleam copper and slightly golden when the light reflects off of it. for the majority of her life, she had a tendency of keeping the gentle waves cropped into a side-parted, blunt bob that rested just above her shoulders. she typically wore her hair straight or blown out. following the snap, she allowed it to grow out beyond its typical length. she keeps it trimmed to just below her shoulder blades with a set of wispy curtain bangs to compliment the natural waves that she now maintains.

» face and complexion: maggie has a light skin tone that tans in the sun. she has no freckles on her face but has quite a few down her chest and arms; none of them are very dark. she has a round face which can almost be cherubic but as she’s gotten older, she has developed a sharp jawline that makes her look more mature despite her stature. her rounded almond eyes are lined with thick, dark lashes. she has a small button nose that pinches minutely at its tip as it turns slightly upwards. her brows are full and straight with only a slight arch. she has full cheeks with small dimples that frame her smile. maggie’s lips are typically tinted a red berry shade; her bottom lip is slightly more voluminous than its top counterpart which is home to a sharp cupid’s bow. 

» build: maggie is petite, to say the least. she stands just slightly over five feet tall and weighs just over one hundred pounds. though slim, her figure is a narrow hourglass. despite her size, she’s quite agile and strong. years of channeling all of her emotions in to ballet as a child caused a habit that has yet to die. when she feels the need to get rid of excess emotion, she runs or attends a fitness class to channel that away.  

» defining marks: when she was eighteen, maggie and her best friend poppy got matching tattoos. on the inside of her left wrist, there is a small crescent moon to match a sun on poppy’s. following her parents death, she got a second tattoo and on the inside of her upper arm, close to the crook of her elbow, there is one of two ravens perched on a branch. several months after the blip, she got another tattoo. on her right side, on her ribs under her bra-line, there’s a small star housed within four concentric circles. 

» dress style: maggie’s fashion sense is on the border between classic and trendy. she doesn’t stray too far away from her comfort zone or wear too many patterns. she tends to stick to jewel tones and neutrals. for her work, her style tends to be business casual-- typically a blouse with a skirt or wide legged trousers and a heel. when she’s at home, an oversized sweater and leggings or pajama shorts are her go-to uniform. if she’s out running errands, she loves a flowy skirt or a pair of mom jeans with one of her dad’s old, classic band tees. her shoes are typically a revolving door of plain keds or converse, ankle boots, or a small heel.

» faceclaim: jenna louise coleman

– ROMANTIC & SEXUAL – 

» marital status: she is unmarried.

» sexual preference: although maggie is primarily heterosexual, she’s never been closed off to the idea of dating anyone of the same gender if she found that she was attracted to them.

» ever had sex: she had sex for the first time when she was a freshman in college; it was with her boyfriend at the time, nicholas gray. as she’s gotten older, she has had a variety of companions-- some were romantic partners, several one-night-stands, and two attempted friends-with-benefits arrangements. 

» opinion on sex: maggie isn’t ashamed to say that she enjoys sex and the freeing feeling that comes with it. 

» opinion on relationships: although she likes the idea of a relationship, maggie’s fear of not being in control makes it difficult to maintain one. before the snap, she had only been in one long-term relationship which she abruptly ended after the death of her parents. she found that it was easier to try and turn off her feelings than to deal with them as everything in her life changed. since graduating with her second degree, maggie has been trying to open herself back up to dating and the possibility of a relationship.

» turn ons: the feeling of someone brushing her hair off of her face, being praised, bravery, kindness, interlacing fingers when holding hands, a genuine smile, sincerity, strong hands, bright eyes, taller men, a strong jawline, delicate kisses that gradually deepen into something more, kisses down the neck, deep conversations and debates, cologne that isn’t overpowering

» turn offs: sleazy behavior, apathy towards important issues, party-scene demeanor, bragging, lying, being late, ill-fitting clothes, lacking ambition or drive for moving forward

» past relationships:       ; nicholas gray ( first love / ben barnes )

» current relationship:      ; n/a 

» future relationship:       ; steve rogers ( tbd / chris evans )      ; bucky barnes ( tbd / sebastian stan )

– FRIENDSHIP – 

» big group of friends or several close friends: maggie would rather have a smaller quantity of people in her life with better quality relationships than to have a large group of friends that she feels as though she doesn’t know. 

» best friend: maggie was a relatively lonely child; she spent a lot of her time reading and imagining her life in other worlds. she had some friends but none that ever ventured further than the occasional hangout. when she was a freshman in highschool, she sat next to poppy stewart on their first day of orientation and the two have been inseparable ever since.  

» ever lied to a friend: she’s told white lies when necessary but she’s never lied about something earth-shattering.

» the most horrible thing they did to a friend: when maggie broke up with nicholas, she left him a letter on his pillow before she left his apartment one morning. she avoided his calls afterwards and didn’t speak to him for several weeks until he came to her apartment to try and work things out. later in her life, maggie felt extremely guilty that she wasn’t able to confide in poppy about steve’s plan until after he had already left.

» list of friends -      ; poppy stewart ( best friend / annie murphy / @petalsofpoppys )      ; pepper potts ( boss, friend / gwenyth paltrow )      ; tony stark ( boss, family friend / robert downey jr )      ; natasha romanoff ( co-worker, close friend / scarlett johansson )      ; steve rogers ( co-worker, friend, boyfriend / chris evans )      ; bucky barnes ( friend, lover, boyfriend / sebastian stan )      ; sam wilson ( friend / anthony mackie )      ; wanda maximoff ( future friend / elizabeth olsen )      ; monica rambeau ( future friend / teyonah parris )

– MORALITY – 

» ever been drunk: the first time that maggie got drunk was her senior year of high school; she was at a house party with poppy and she since vowed to never touch any drink with ‘punch’ in the name, ever again.

» lied to a significant other: following the death of her parents, maggie never disclosed her tumultuous emotions to nicholas and so he was blindsided when she left him on one random morning. with an apologetic  note of a goodbye, maggie made sure no trace was left behind when she slipped from the apartment in to the warm summer breeze.

» cheated on significant other: maggie would never cheat on a partner. she would rather end things than break someone’s trust in her.

» gotten into a fight: she’s never gotten in to a physical altercation but following her move in to the avenger’s compound, natasha and steve helped to train her tactically. after she moved back to the city, bucky takes up the position of being her trainer. 

» deepest regret: not telling her parents how much she looked up to both of them before they died. 

» religion: maggie was not raised to be religious. her parents always emphasized the importance of trying to be morally good whenever you could. she identifies as an atheist.

– MISCELLANEOUS – 

» playlist: https://rb.gy/kxqfbu

» instagram:

» gifboard:

» character inspiration: leia organa (star wars trilogy), alex parrish (quantico), emma swan (once upon a time), amy pond (doctor who), buffy summers (buffy the vampire slayer), emily prentiss (criminal minds), lily evans (harry potter)

[billscheft]

Here’s a piece I wrote a couple of weeks ago everyone baffling passed on: Marjorie Taylor Greene on Sports Talk Radio....

KARL: Welcome back to “First String,” where we grip it and rip it on your morning drive, throwing heat and shade at all things sports, sports-adjacent, sports-oriented and disoriented. I am Karl Flack, and I flack for no one. Behind the glass, as always, my producer, engineer, and cut man, Johnno Scappinola. Joining us this morning in the studio to take your calls is Congresswoman Marjorie Taylor Greene. Congrats for making First String.

REP GREENE: Thanks, Karl. Big fan.

KARL: Appreciate the shamelessness. Okay, right out of the chute, I’m coming at you hard. You’re a graduate of the University of Georgia. UGA through and through. Class of 1996. Your freshman year, Dawgs go 10-2, win the SEC East and finish #8 under Ray Goff. And then it NEVER HAPPENS AGAIN until after you leave Athens.

REP GREENE: (nervous laugh) Yeah, well. That was an unfortunate coincidence.

KARL: Of course. Like WTC Building #7… Okay, let’s go to the phones. Al in Smithtown, do you have a question for Marjorie Taylor Greene?

AL IN SMITHTOWN:  Yes, I do. Congresswoman, the New Jersey Nets look absolutely loaded. Is anyone going to beat them for the NBA title this year?

REP GREENE: The Nets may look loaded, but so am I. I like my Hawks. Don’t be sleepin’ on my Hawks. Birds gotta fly, Hawks gotta ball…. Shout out to Trae Young! TY, TY!!!!!!! Seriously, I don’t appreciate the way New Jersey manipulated its globalist payroll and salary cap to amass a team of superstars. I don’t like the way the Nets forced their will over the league. Our league. And it is our league. It’s like the Ho—

KARL: Whoa. Let’s try to keep the questions a little less inflammatory. Okay, this is Samantha from Browning. You’re on with Marjorie Taylor Greene.

SAMANTHA FROM BROWNING: Hi, I’m Samantha. She/her….

KARL: Okay, we lost Samantha. Johnno, see if you can reach out to our friends to track that number. Let’s go out to Lionel on the car phone with a question about the PGA Championship. Lionel?

LIONEL: Hi Karl. Longtime listener, first time caller. Congresswoman Greene, like a lot of people, I was thrilled with Phil Mickelson’s win at Kiawah last month, but when the gallery surged toward him and Brooks Koepka on the 18th, I got very scared for them and their safety. What about you?

REP GREENE: Lionel, it’s Lionel, right? Not Lion-EL? Good. Lionel, I’m going to recuse myself because I had Lefty in one of my Cross-Fit classes ten years ago when he was trying to drop a few, and let me just say he didn’t get his deposit back.  But talking about scary, you know what’s scary? What if those ropes had held? What if they’d kept the gallery packed inside? It would have reminded me of a Mannheim train station in 19—

KARL:  19 past the hour, and we’ll go to Rayburn from Marietta.

RAYBURN FROM MARIETTA: Thanks for taking my call. Serious question. As a fellow Georgian, as a congresswoman, what can you do to get the Major League Baseball All Star Game that we lost to Colorado this year to come back to Atlanta in the future? I’ll hang up and listen.

REP GREENE: What makes you think it left? I’ll be there, July 13. I got four behind the dugout at Fulton County Stadium.

KARL: Uh, Congresswoman, Fulton County Stadium was imploded in 1997.

REP GREENE: Yeah. That’s what they want you to believe. Wake up and smell the space lasers, Karl.

KARL: MTG with solid contact! That’ll bring a run in…. Speaking of which, are you in favor of the universal DH?

REP GREENE: DH? Designated Hitl…

KARL:   –TER! Hitter.

REP GREENE: I’m not in favor of universal anything, Karl. Karl….with a “K,” right?

KARL: Yes.

REP GREENE: Like Marx?

KARL: Let’s go to Nancy on Line 5….

REP GREENE: Let’s not.

KARL: Okay, let’s go to Alejandro from San Jacinto on Line 7….

REP GREENE: Only if I can say his name and town a couple dozen times.

KARL: Okay, here’s Cletis on Line 28. He’s been on hold since the show ended yesterday. Cletis?

CLETIS ON LINE 28: I’m just calling to say “Roll Damn Tide!”

KARL: War Eagle…. We’re coming up on a hard break. Time for one more call. This is Taylor from the 6th District, wherever that is.

TAYLOR FROM 6th DISTRICT: Hello, Karl, am I on? Karl, Karl? Am I on? Karl, am I on? Hello, Karl?

KARL: Taylor, could you turn down your radio?

TAYLOR FROM 6th DTSTRICT: I don’t have a radio. I’m listening through the chip in my head. Tell him, Margie.

REP GREENE: Uncle Taylor, is that you?

TAYLOR FROM 6th DISTRICT:  Margie, you coming for dinner Sunday?

REP GREENE: What are you having?

TAYLOR FROM 6th DISTRICT: Pizza from the new parlor downtown.

REP GREENE: Hard pass.

KARL: My thanks to Marjorie Taylor Greene. You made this so easy. Please come back. One last question before we pay some bills: What isn’t like the Holocaust?

MTG: You know, if you have to ask….

KARL: Back after this!

[mrclinical]

Blonde Fist (1991)

Directed by Frank Clarke 

Rating: 17/100

Clarke’s debut (and only directorial feature) was a bizarre transatlantic vehicle for his sister, Margi Clarke. Margi had risen to stardom on the back of appearing in Chris Bernard’s Letter to Brezhnev (1985), as well as, establishing herself as a household name with a starring role in the BBC’s primetime series, Making Out (1989-1991). In Blonde Fist, Margi becomes Ronnie O’Dowd - a rather crass embodiment of working-class and Liverpudlian stigmas - who solves all her disputes with wheeling fists and caveats of clunky one-liners. Her methods of conflict resolution soon land her behind bars. After one of the most laughably unconvincing prison sequences - an act which climaxes in a high-octane escape via tractor - Ronnie crosses the Atlantic; swapping the bleak Merseyside council estates for Manhattan skyscrapers in the search for her estranged father. Clarke’s aimless rags-to-riches tale of feminine empowerment is a woeful slog of melodramatic conventions and irksome over-acting. Carol Baker and Ken Hutchinson do their utmost to make the best of the material, allowing the audience several slight reprieves from the Clarke siblings’ sheer incongruousness. Ultimately, Blonde Fist feels like the hackneyed result of some extraterrestrial film club’s homage to Ken Loach. The onscreen dissonance is particularly spooky considering the Clarke siblings hail from Kirby, Liverpool. Far from attempting to explore working class culture, they seem only interested in exploiting its ugliest facets; from shoplifting, to single motherhood, abandonment and violence for cheap laughs and half-baked characterisation. Watch at your own peril…

[fiinalgiirls-aa]

GENERAL INFORMATION.

full name - jospehine harper ryan nicknames - joey, ryan gender / pronouns - she/her date of birth - july 12, 1996 place of birth - prescott, arizona / boot hill, arizona depending on verse citizenship / ethnicity - american / irish, english, scottish, icelandic. religion - atheist socioeconomic status / political affiliation - lower middle class; liberal. marital status - single, though may depend on verse. sexual & romantic orientation - bisexual. education / occupation - waitress. languages - english, some high school french and spanish

FAMILY INFORMATION.

parents - darby ( deceased ) & felicity ryan. siblings - heather, eldest sister ( deceased ); katherine, younger sister; edmund, younger brother. offspring - none pets / other - none. notable extended family - isabelle, niece and gabriel, nephew.

PHYSICAL INFORMATION.

faceclaim - maika monroe hair color / eye color - blonde / brown height / build - 5′6″ / slender tattoos / piercings - earlobes x 2. a few cartliage piercings. tattoo of ‘the moon’ tarot card on her left forearm. ‘x’ on her right middle finger. distinguishable features - big brown eyes, wild blonde hair

MEDICAL INFORMATION.

medical history - anxiety. known allergies - none. visual impairment / hearing impairment - none. nicotine use / drug use / alcohol use - very rarely will she smoke a cigarette or use drugs. drinks socially.

PERSONALITY.

traits - ( + ) amiable, stalwart, imaginative ; ( - ) melancholy, reserved, petulant tropes - small town boredom, desperately looking for a place in life, mommy issues, relative button, perky goth, cool aunt temperament - phlegmatic alignment - lawful good celtic tree zodiac - holly, the ruler mbti - infp hogwarts house - hufflepuff vice / virtue - envy / diligence likes / dislikes - fairy lights over a dark tapestry, old victorian houses, cats, a new pair of tights with no snags in them, a soft knit sweater, lavender lemonade, almond cookies, the sound of fallen leaves crunching underfoot /  people who dislike children, drunk drivers, the after-church sunday rush at her restaurant, ants, boys who are music elitists. quote - “she tastes like nectar and salt. nectar and salt and apples. pollen and stars and hinges. she tastes like fairy tales. swan maiden at midnight. cream on the tip of a fox’s tongue. she tastes like hope.”

FAVORITES.

food - bacon cheeseburger, and sweet potato fries. no mayo. drink - strawberry milkshake pizza topping - jalapenos, chicken, and pineapple color - black and pink music - dark synth, black or thrash metal books - we have always lived in the castle, by shirley jackson movies - suspiria, night of the living dead, uncle buck curse word - bullshit scents - peony, pumpkin, rain

BIOGRAPHY.

TRIGGER WARNINGS: disappearance of a family member, depression, death, car accident. DISCLAIMER: this biography was written for the group rp southouboundhq, but is mostly applicable to all verses.

josphine ryan is born the second of four to darby and felicity ryan on the hottest day in july. like her elder sister, she doesn’t have hardly more than a pale, peach fuzz or a gentle platinum swoop atop her head until the age of three. unlike her sister, joey hardly cries–even as a newborn–and never without reason. when heather learned to speak, she tried out every word, every syllable on her tongue–an intrepid speaker. joey takes her time and uses words deliberately, going from nothing to full sentences. the two girls are five years apart, but heather has been practicing this with her baby dolls for years. far apart in age, there are no closer sisters in villas adobes. as she grows older, joey thinks that, surely, there are no closer sisters in the world. it doesn’t change when the twins, katherine and edmund are born another four years later.

three girls and a boy, the ryan household is a bustling one. the kids all look after one another, getting along as well as parents can hope. heather and joey; katie and edmund. it’s just like that. it’s always like that. darby is a prestigious lawyer and they kids grow up hearing the tales of his life as a district attorney in seattle. one night, when the twins are asleep, heather asks him why he left seattle–why he left the job he loved so much. darby ryan racks his brain. he can’t remember. no matter how many times he’s asked the question, he can never remember.

one day, near the end of september, darby ryan walked out into the desert. he walked out into the desert and it was the most normal thing of all. he walked straight down silver mine road and felicity says that even one of the dominellis, or someone else over there near the funeral home, saw him walking down there and tried to wave and say hello, but he wouldn’t give them the time of day–didn’t even look them in their eyes. the cicadas sang their symphony to the desert night while darby ryan walked straight down that road , normal as can be, and he never came back.

the impact of grief affects her mother profoundly–how can you put a wandering spirit to rest?–but between the five of them, they make do. heather and joey, as the eldest girls, make sure the younger ones are looked after while felicity works two jobs. even after heather is on her own and starting her own family, she makes sure her siblings are taken care of. she fixes the lunches for the younger ones and trades out babysitting shifts with joey when she needs some solitude for homework or a trip to drive-in with margie and the girls.

joey is nearly seventeen when heather and her boyfriend die in the wreck that leaves joey with a broken arm and a small laceration to her forehead. hit by a drunk driver, joey’s niece and nephew are orphaned in one tragic accident. if her mother had been distant following her father’s disappearance, she is beside herself over the loss of her eldest daughter. within a year, felicity has lost both her job as a dental hygienist at old main street and as a waitress at the turquoise star diner. she rarely leaves her bed, let alone the house except to scrounge up enough cash for a trip to the liquor store. everything falls on the narrow shoulders of the eldest remaining daughter. still a girl herself, joey is hardly eligible for custody of her siblings and heather’s kids. on top of raising four kids, she makes efforts to maintain her mother’s image–only absent in public out of dedication to being a stay-at-home mother. the social security payments aren’t enough and joey starts working through high school. still a girl herself, she watches her sister and her dreams die in that same year.

she would’ve been a writer. some clever girl who’d spin words onto paper like she wraps blonde curls around her finger. outside this wretched place–a true boot hill, her family plot–she would have found adventures and peculiarities worth writing about. in boot hill, joey ryan finds only tedium and loss; boredom and death. history loves repeating itself like a chorus, or the nightly siren song of the cicadas, and the high school grad takes a waiting job at the same diner her mother was let go from. it paralyzes joey from making new connections; she tears up every phone number written on the back of some credit card receipt left on the table of the diner’s booths. she’s already raising four kids and her mom, most days, as well. she can’t afford a dream or a family of her own.

with the twins now in their senior year of high school, joey knows that they will move on–searching for their own lives, moving out to rent an apartment with a best friend, a lover. there are heather’s kids, seven and nine, and her mother that need looking after, and yet she feels more freedom now than she has had in the last six years. maybe someday she can get out of this place–even if it means leaving her loved ones behind. maybe someday she’ll walk out onto silver mine road, normal as can be, while the cicadas sing. she’ll walk right down that road like it’s the most normal thing in the world. she’ll pass right by a dominelli or maybe a close friend without a word or even a polite nod. maybe she’ll finally hear the cries of the amen shrieker. maybe she’ll hear nothing at all.

[southboundhqarchive]

MEET MARGARITA,

FULL NAME › Margarita Celestina Dominguez Espinosa AGE › twenty two GENDER › Cis female (She/Her/Hers) FROM › Tucson, Arizona RESIDENCE › Villas Adobes community (Downtown) OCCUPATION › Waitress at the Turquoise Star Diner NOW PLAYING › Don’t You Forget About Me by Simple Minds

BIOGRAPHY,

trigger warnings: cheating, mental illness, depression, psychosis, ableist mentions/language

Was there ever a happier baby than Margarita Dominguez Espinosa? To hear her parents tell it, she was born smiling, and if you were ever to insist it was impossible or just a reflex, her parents would actively shush you—you weren’t there, you didn’t see it. Margarita grew up believing she was the luckiest little girl ever born, and she was right to think it. Her parents, so deeply in love. Her mother, so doting and caring. Her father, so wise and loving. Her brother, teasing and attentive. The Dominguez Espinosa household was practically built with bricks made of love; a nice, happy family that smiled at strangers and waved at neighbors. So positive, so sunny that the very idea of muffled yelling behind their closed doors was preposterous, unlike other families on the street that nearly had nightly shows of their not-so-behind closed door dramatics.

Of course, things are never as perfect as they seem. People aren’t as happy as they seem, but the Dominguez Espinoas were, for a time. None more than Margarita. Rarely did she have a bad mood, a temper tantrum. Her family showered her with love so much that she assumed every family was the same, every person as happy and carefree as herself, and nothing made her happier than making others happy. She would bend over backwards to do good things, her little hand was the first to be thrown in the air when a teacher needed a volunteer to pass out tests, she would bring in her neighbor’s groceries and feed their dog when they went on trips to visit family elsewhere. Margarita, or Margie as she became to her classmates, was voted Most Helpful three years in a row, because helping others made her feel happy inside. She felt good when others were telling her how good she was. (Maybe her need was driven more by selfishness, that need for validation.)

From a young age, Margarita was watched by every adult around her, because Margarita would say yes to anyone. Her need to be liked was nearly pathological and while it made her popular, it could also get her into trouble; if someone asked her nicely, she’d steal a pen off of a desk or a tube of lipstick off of the makeup counter. It also worked in her favor, when she was caught doing something naughty, her teachers or parents or the parents of her friends knew that someone must have put her up to it, as she was too sweet to come up with something so devious on her own. Margarita Dominguez must have been the most blissful, serene child they had ever seen.

Margarita was eleven years old when her family joined those on the street that had parents fighting behind closed doors and children pretending not to listen. Though those doors were closed, it couldn’t muffle much, and Alejandro and Margarita knew instantly what their father had done. Carlos, a pediatrician, slept with one of his patient’s mothers. No, he didn’t just sleep with her, it was an affair. The months following the revelation were hard and it only made Margarita smile harder. Dorothea, disgusted by her husband’s betrayal, kicked him out. Shortly, like it always seemed to work out in the movies, Carlos moved in with Kathleen. Kathleen, with a fifteen year old son from her teenage years and a five year old daughter from a failed engagement just a little while ago. A divide came between Carlos and Dorothea, mother and father on two different sides of a war with Ale and Margie in the middle.

Alejandro, disgusted by his father just like his mother. Margarita, while upset and hurt by her father’s betrayal, was so much softer in that upset. When Carlos begged his children to stop ignoring him and to pick up his calls, Margie broke first. When Carlos wanted to introduce his children to Kathleen and her children, Margie met them first. Margarita was the only one of their family to attend their wedding. While she hated that her father hurt them, and resented Kathleen and her innocent children, she did much better when in the same room as them. Alejandro warmed up over time, but only thawed enough to exchange pleasantries with a smile that couldn’t convince anyone of anything other than a son’s still bitter feelings and the fact that he’ll never accept his father’s new family.

Her family broken apart and (albeit unwanted) new family gained, all within two years. Whirlwind and quick, so different from the calm, content childhood just a few years in the past, it didn’t stop when soon after their wedding, her father heard the siren call of Boot Hill. A pediatrician, job offers weren’t scarce, and often Carlos would scoff at the idea of leaving Tanque Verde, but the offer that came from Boot Hill burrowed itself into his brain until it was all he could think about. A once tranquil home, it once again grew explosive when Carlos announced to Dorothea that he was taking Margie with him. (Alejandro, however, would be left in his mother’s care.) Technically he couldn’t just rip her from her mother’s grip, but he damn near tried, and when they finally turned their eyes onto the thirteen year old Margie, she could only sputter for a near minute before she meekly whispered yes.

She didn’t really want to move, but she didn’t want her family to break apart, either. She never wanted her father to leave her and she never wanted to leave her mother, but the look in her father’s eye that silently pleaded with her to accept, pleaded with her to say yes, made it clear that making her father happy was more important than making her mother angry. Since she said yes, there was no reasoning that Dorothea could use against Carlos to make her daughter stay (and really, it was only a few hours away, it was still in Arizona—if only Dorothea had known she’d never see her daughter again), and so she was off. Off to Boot Hill. Within days, the car was packed up and they were following the directions printed off an email by her father’s employer.

While Tucson was a middling city, Margarita believed it had a small town feel, but she realized that she had no idea what small town meant when they finally rolled into Boot Hill after what felt like days. Her step-brother, Garrett, muttered something under his breath, Kathleen looked vaguely like she was going to cry, and her father was smiling, so she smiled too. It would be a new adventure, her father had promised, and she didn’t realize before that adventures weren’t always fun or even interesting, sometimes adventures were downright bad. Or just… overwhelmingly normal. From the outside, Boot Hill looked like every little town they showed on teen dramas that her parents used to call ridiculous.

Everyone at her old middle school already knew her, they knew she acted as if her blood consisted of pure sunlight, they knew Margie Dominguez would do anything you asked of her. At this new school, this new town, Margarita Dominguez Espinosa was a blank slate. She could walk into its halls and be a brand new person, no one here knew that Margie cut Josie Weaver’s hair because Desiree Hernandez told her to or that Margie once pulled the fire alarm during an assembly because some boy two grades above her said it would be so cool if she did, but immediately, Margarita fell back into old habits. Margarita, above all, was herself, and who she was was a people-pleaser. Her heart would soar when she was told she did a good job. Her mind would nearly black out if someone called her their friend.

Almost immediately, Margarita gained the reputation of sweetest girl in class, and eventually the school. She became protected by her girls, anyone caught teasing her would get shit for trying to tear down a girl that only ever wanted to help people. She was so pleasant, so smiley and sweet, others would swear it was pathological: Tinkerbell on crack. The sweeter she was at school, the moodier she became inside. Not so much a facade, but a defense mechanism. A wall, or maybe a fence, something to block anyone from seeing just how little control she had.

She was sixteen when Margarita realized bad things can happen to anyone, even nice girls who just want to do good things. Everything seemed to crash then (for the third time). Her father, a respected and liked pediatrician back in Tucson, was sued by a patient for malpractice. Her step-brother became more incorrigible, blooming into something more than just the regular allotted teenage mood swings. Her step-mother seemed to be growing more wild in the eyes, growing more caged by boredom in a town that she never seemed to be able to get away from, even if she tried. Things seemed to be getting worse by the minute, but no one around her seemed to notice. No one ever seemed to notice anything in Boot Hill.

Margaritia, despite the slow decay of her family—her father spent more time at work than at home, Kathleen spent more time sitting on the couch staring into nothingness, Garrett more sullen and sometimes explosive with each passing day—she maintained her status as the nice one out of the popular kids. Sleepovers at her best friend’s house turned into parties at a cute boy’s house, drinking after (and during) a football game became the norm, Sunday mornings were spent having breakfast at May’s after staying up all night instead of sleeping in or going to church. She spent so much time hanging out with friends, she rarely had time to be at home and watch the decay, sometimes even unaware of how bad it got, sometimes deliberately staying at a friend’s all weekend just so she wouldn’t have to watch her step-mother regret moving to Boot Hill.

She loved her family. (Despite disliking her step-family for many years, they slowly became family without her really realizing it.) She loves her family, truly, but being around them was starting to hurt her cheeks from all the smiling, all the salving over the tension and the depression and acting like nothing is wrong. Somehow, high school relationships were easier to navigate, and Margie never feared she peaked in high school, she already knew she did. With her family becoming more and more fractured, separated by walls and closed doors, she had to wonder why she was the only one pretending nothing was wrong, the only one trying to make their house into a home again. She never asked, only because she was afraid of the answer.

High school eventually ends and as her graduation quickly approached, Margarita realized the extent of what was kept behind closed doors, namely Garrett���s. Her step-mother in bed, her father gone at work, Margarita was reading at her desk when she heard something rustling in the room next door, Garrett’s room. He called for his mother, but Margie was the one to answer, opening her door slightly ajar to see him frantically searching around his room. Bugs, he said. He kept seeing bugs in his room and implored her to enter, confirm his suspicions, and there was no smile on her face when she told him she couldn’t see anything. Quickly she jostled Kathleen awake and stood on the sidelines, watching as Kathleen tried to calm Garrett down, only for him to be more convinced, only for him to escalate, to beg them to see what only he saw, doubted that they didn’t. By the time he claimed the bugs were inside his skin, Margie had already dialed 911.

A few days without Garrett mumbling something behind a closed door, Margarita was still deeply shaken when he came back from the hospital, seemingly fine. He was okay now, her step-mother told her, but Margarita had a fear in her stomach that she never had before. There was an anxiety now, the way her heart dropped every time she heard her step-brother moving about hurriedly in his room, afraid she’d have to relive the scariest night of her life, only for the noise to quiet down and the night to continue smoothly. Now, Margarita rarely came home if she could avoid it, overstaying her welcome at friend’s houses and passing out at parties only so she wouldn’t have to go home to sleep it off. She got a job, waiting tables at the Turquoise Star, picking up any shift available and covering for anyone who needed it, even at her inconvenience.

Everything ends, even high school. Margarita tried to be ecstatic that she graduated, and while she was happy, that night (and the few subsequent bad nights that occurred every few months, with her there or not) had brought a heaviness to Margarita that most noticed, others ignored. She still smiled, she still did whatever was asked of her, but there was less passion with which she did these things. Her people-pleasing manifested in bumming smokes off of older men for her and her not-yet-eighteen-years-old friends instead of helping old ladies cross the street or donating to the annual food drive at the local church. While a younger Margie had dreamt of going to college, doing whatever society expected of her, the gulf between high school and college seemed to grow longer until she was longer thinking about it.

The gulf had to be substituted, filled to help her stop thinking about it. Practically living at the Turquoise Star with how often she is there, even when she isn’t scheduled for a shift, nothing matters more than earning her paycheck, filling her days. Picking up hobbies, like puzzles and knitting. Riding bikes in the winter when it isn’t too cold and swimming at the pool in the summer before the water gets too hot. Spending time with friends and trying to get back that fuzzy feeling in her stomach when helping others at the local church. Nothing can replace that well of anxiety at each raised voice in her step-brother’s room, nor the pit of sadness at her step-mother’s refusal to rise out of bed, nor the lake of anger in her chest at her father’s avoidance of home (despite doing the same herself). The only thing that keeps her coming home is her step-sister, Emma, thirteen years old—the same age as Margie when she moved to Boot Hill—and entirely innocent, she doesn’t deserve to be abandoned by the only constant in the Russell-Dominguez home. She still tries to keep the family together, but it’s becoming clear they’re only going to decay, like the Dominguez Espinosas. They are decaying.

Twenty two now, Margie tells herself all her paychecks are to get an apartment, move out on her own, maybe bring Emma out with her to the Silver Spurs, but she knows she’ll never escape that house. She’ll never escape Boot Hill. Has anyone?

❝ girl as a honeycomb—sickly sweet, riddled with empty spaces. ❞

CENSUS,

FACECLAIM › Georgie Flores AUTHOR › Admin Rachel

[thebestbookrecommendations]

Generation Dead - Daniel Waters

All over the country, a strange phenomenon is occurring. Some teenagers who die aren't staying dead. But when they come back to life, they are no longer the same. Feared and misunderstood, they are doing their best to blend into a society that doesn’t want them. The administration at Oakvale High attempts to be more welcoming of the “differently biotic." But the students don’t want to take classes or eat in the cafeteria next to someone who isn’t breathing. And there are no laws that exist to protect the “living impaired” from the people who want them to disappear—for good. When Phoebe falls for Tommy Williams, the leader of the dead kids, no one can believe it; not her best friend, Margi, and especially not her neighbor, Adam, the star of the football team. Adam has feelings for Phoebe that run much deeper than just friendship; he would do anything for her. But what if protecting Tommy is the one thing that would make her happy?

Read if You Like:

Horror

Zombies

Fantasy

Paranormal/Supernatural

Young Adult

Romance

Recommended if You Enjoy:

M. R. Carey (The Girl with all the Gifts)

Daryl Gregory (Raising Stony Mayhall)

Stephanie Meyer (Twilight)

3/5

[thefamilythatneverages]

The Simpsons Epsiodes that I would rewatch over and over (the list will keep growing after the start of the 30th season …. plus the order will change due to this fact).

.............

Bart the General

The Crepes of Warth

Left Behind

Bart the Genius

Cape Feare

Flandder's Ladder

Hormer vs. The Eighteenth Amendent

Looking For Mr. Goodbart

Marge vs. the Montrail

The Devil Wears Nada

Jazzy and the Pussy Cats

Hormer's Phobia

I Won't Be Home For Christmas

Special Edna

Lemon of Troy

The City of New York vs. Hormer Simpson

MoneyBart

Itchy & Scartchy Land

The Food Wife

Dogtown

Behind the Laughter

Bart vs. Australia

I, (Annoyed Grunt) – Bot

The D'oh-ical Network

22 for 30

Super Franchise Me

The Great Phatsby Parts 1 & 2

Smmer of 4ft. 2

The Wreck of an Relationship

Ned 'n Edna's Bend

Holidays of Future Past

Mr. Lisa Opus

Hormer and Lisa Exchange Cross Words

Mommy Beerest

The Kids Are All Fight

Them, Roborts

Moho House

Barthood

You Only Move Twice

Frink Gets Testy

The Kids Are All Right

A Father's Watch

Flaming Moe

Reality Bites

Haw-Haw Land

Caper Chase

In The Name Of The Grandfather

Helter Shelter

A Totally Fun Thing That Bart Would Never Do Again

Please Hormer Don't Hammer 'Em

The Days of Furture Furture

The Man In The Blue Flannel Pants

Bart vs. Lisa vs. The Third Grade

Two Bad Neighbores

The Book Job

Singin' in the  Lane

Hardly Kirk-ing

The Cad and the Hat

I'm Spelling As Fast As I Can

Treehouse of Horror XX

Replaceable You

Gone Boy

Bart Gets An F

The Boy Who Knew Too Much

Treehouse of Horror V

Fears of a Clown

Chief of Hearts

Home Away From Hormer

Homr

The Wife Aquatic

Dark Knight Court

3 Scenes Plus a Tag from a Marriage

The Winter of His Content

Funeral for a Fiend

King Leer

Burns Cage

The War of Art

Fatzcarraldo

Mathele's Feat

Friends and Family

Hormer and Ned's Hail Mary Pass

The Bart of War

Tree House of Horror

Bart's Dog gets an F

Moe'N'a'Lisa

The Ned-Liest Catch

White Christmas Blues

American History X-cellent

Treehouse of Horror XXVIII

Fraudcast News

Springfield Splendor

Bart Stops To Smell the Roosevelts

Treehouse of Horror VII

The Last of the Red Hat Mama's

The Falcon and the D'ohman

The President Wore Pearls

Bart the Murderer

The Italian Bob

Wavery Hills 9-0-2-1 D'Oh

Midnight RX

Throw Grampa from the Dane

Hormer Is Where the Art Isn't

Treehouse of Horror VI

This Little Wiggy

Treehouse of Horror XXII

The Great Simpisna

Four Regrettings and a Funeral

Judge Me Tender

Lisa Gets the Blues

Bart Gets Famous

Treehouse of Horror XXIII

Hormer's Enemy

Treehouse of Horror XVIII

He Loves to Fly and  He D'oh's

Future-Drama

Bart Has Two Mommies

Hormer Goes To Prep School

Treehouse of Horrow XIX

Coming To Homerica

The Town

Whistler's Father

Treehouse of Horror XXVI

Dangers on a Train

Love Is in the N2-O2-Ar-CO2-NE-HE-CH4

Waiting For Duffman

Three Gay's In A Condo

Wedding For Disaster

The Real Housewives of Fat Tony

Homerland

KampKurstier

Lisa with an 'S'

Monty Burns 'Fleeing Circus

Grampy Can You Hear Me

Treehouse of Horror XXV

The PTA Disbands

Dad Behavior

G.I. (Annoyed Grunt)

There Will Be Buds

Children of a Lesser Clod

Nightmare After Krustmas

Moms I'd Like To Forget

Treehouse of Horror XXIV

Much Apu About Something

Lost Verizon

The Serferns

E Pluribus Wiggum

The Simpsons Roasting Over A Fire

The Old Blue Mayor She Ain't What She Used To Be

Bart-Mangled Banner

Springfield Up

Treehouse of Horror XXI

Hormer Scissorhands

All About Lisa

Halloween of Horror

Covercraft

The Bob Next Door

Havana Wild Weekend

Treehouse of Horror IV

You Kent Always Say What You Want

Today I Am A Clown

Thursdays with Abie

Treehouse of Horrow XI

The Saga of Carl

Brick Like Me

Alone Again, Natura-Diddily

Simprovised

Regarding Margie

Treehouse of Horror XIII

Yellow Subterfuge

Forgive and Forget

The Last Traction Hero

Treehouse of Horror XXVII

Kill Gil Volumes I & II

Bart the Fink

Hormer's Paternity Coot

Marge's Son Posioning

The Mook, The Chef, and the Wife Her Hormer

Don't Fear the Roofer

Ice Cream of Margie (with the Light Blue Hair)

A Tale of Two Springfield

The Spy Whom Learned Me

Treehouse of Horror XV

The Secret War of Lisa Simpson

The Yellow Badge of Cowardge

Treehouse of Horror XVII

To Couirer With Love

Pranksta Rap

Treehouse of Horror II

Pulpit Fiction

Specs and the City

Hormer's Night Out

Trust and Clarity

That 90's Show

Treehouse of Horror IV

Life on the Fast Lane

Mr. Spritz Goes To Washington

Treehouse of Horror XVI

Angry Dad, The Movie

The Bart Wants What It Wants

Krusty Gets Busted

To Cur With Love

The Father, The Son, and the Holy Guest Star

Treehouse of Horror III

Pranks and Greens

Adventures In Baby Getting

The Color Yellow

The Mansion Family

Brother From Another Series

There's No Disgrace Like Home

The Computer Wore Menace Shoes

Midnight Towboys

What Animated Women Want

Co-Depenedent's Day

Gal of Constant Sorrow

Penny Wiseguys

My Fair Laddie

Dial 'N' For Nerder

Girly Edition

Orange is the New Yellow

Lisa the Veterinarian

Treehouse of Horror VIII

Father Knows Worst

Friend With Benefit

Homer's Odyessey

The Daughter Also Rises

Stealing First Base

Thank God It's Doomsday

Opposite A-Frack

Diatribe of a Mad Housewife

All Fair In Oven War

Lisa Simpson, This Isn't Your Life

Stop! Or My Dog Will Shoot

Das Bus

Fland Canyon

Sex, Pies and Idiot Scrapers

YOLO

The Ha-Hawed Couple

Mobile Hormer

Scuse Me While I Miss The Sky

Lisa on Ice

There's Something About Marrying

The Ziff Whom Came To Dinner

Little Girl In The Big Ten

One Hurndred and One Greyhounds

Smoke On The Daughter

On A Clear Day I Can See My Sister

The Curse of the Flying Hellfish

Marge vs. Singles, Seniors, Childless Couples, and Teens and Gays

The Man Whom Came To Be Dinner

Hurricane Neddy

Weekend ot Burnsie's

Girl's Just Want To Have Sums

Brake My Wife, Please

Sky Police

How Much Is That Birdie In The Window?

Politcally Inept, with Hormer Simpson

Call of the Simpsons

Bart's Comet

Simpsons Tide

The Marge-ian Chronicles

Hormer Simpson, This Is Your Wife

Faith Off

Grade School Confidental

Lisa's Wedding

Simpsoncalifragilisticexpiala(ANNOYED GRUNT)cious

Bart After Dark

Little Big Girl

Dead Putting Society

How The Test Was Won

Skinner's Sense of Snow

How Lisa Got Her Marge Back

Elemetary School Musical

Milhouse Doesn't Live Here Anymore

Lost our Lisa

Girl Code

Who Shot Mr Burns (½)

The Musk Whom Feel From The Sky

To Surviel with Love

Revenge Is A Dish Best Served Three Times

Every Man's Dream

Tell Tale Head

Moaning Lisa

Half Decent Proposal

Hormer the Moe

Trash of Titans

The Great Wife Hope

The Man Who Grew To Much

24 Minutes

Scenes from the Class Struggle in Springfield

You Don't Have To Live Like A Refree

Boy Meets Curl

The Fight Before Christmas

Team Hormer

The Great Money Caper

Margical Histroy Tour

Some Enchanted Evening

Treehoue of Horror XII

Peeping Mom

Hello Gutter, Hello Fadder

Moe From Rags to Riches

Teenage Mutant Milk-Caused Hurdles

Puffless

Hormer Badman

At Long Last Leave

Treehouse of Horror X

Cue Detective

Simpsorama

Worst Episode Ever

Treehouse of Horror IX

[marge-gro]

Tag thingie

I was tagged by @nylazor !!! Doggo photo friendo

Rules: Tag 10 blogs you want to get to know better! (low key I don’t know ten blogs soooo..... uhm. awkward.)

Name: Margot

Nickname: Depends on who you are. My uncles call me margot-escargot, one of my old friends dad’s called me marstop, my sister calls me margie...

Gender: female

Star Sign: Scorpio

Height: 5 ft and 1/4 inch. That 1/4 inch IS VERY IMPORTANT (to my pride) ((and my ego))

Hogwarts House: First pottermore quiz: Gryffindor. Second (and most recent) pottermore quiz: Hufflepuff. I fully identity as Hufflepuff.

Dream Trip: Travel the world, taking as many cooking classes as possible and learning how different people treat and eat food.

Average hours of sleep: 8-9 hours

Dog or cat person: DOGGOS. I love cats but I’m way more allergic to them thann doggos

When I think I made this blog: 2012? 2014? sometime in the dark days of middle school. 

who I tag? @celestial-chick @staticc-wave I”M SORRY I JUST TAGGED THE FIRST PEOPLE THAT SHOWED UP I HAVE LIKE 2 WHOLE INTERNET FRIENDS

[your-dietician]

IndyCar driver Josef Newgarden to speak to Nashville Sports Council

New Post has been published on https://tattlepress.com/nascar/indycar-driver-josef-newgarden-to-speak-to-nashville-sports-council/

IndyCar driver Josef Newgarden to speak to Nashville Sports Council

Nashville IndyCar driver Josef Newgarden, coming off his first win of the season and headed into the inaugural Big Machine Music City Grand Prix, will be the featured guest speaker July 13 at the Nashville Sports Council’s monthly luncheon.

Tickets for the 11:30 a.m.-1 p.m. event at Nissan Stadium are available at bit.ly/3ywDjbd. Doors open at 11 a.m.

Newgarden picked up his 19th career win July 4 at the Honda Indy 200 at Mid-Ohio. It snapped a nine-race losing streak for Newgarden and Team Penske, the winningest team in IndyCar series history.

Because the next race — Honda Indy Toronto — on the schedule was canceled for the second straight year due to COVID-19, the Aug. 8 Music City Grand Prix on the streets of downtown is next on the calendar.

“We’ve got some confidence with this win so I feel like we can make it all happen,” Newgarden told Autoweek. “I always believe, I’ve told these guys, I believe we can win any race we go into. Nashville would be a dream to have a great result.”

Chase McCabe of The Game 102.5-FM will moderate the discussion.

“The timing couldn’t be better for Josef to speak in his hometown coming off such a dominant win at Mid-Ohio,” McCabe said. “You can tell the team has confidence right now. I can already tell you that they’ll use that momentum from the win on top of the fact that Josef is looking for a win at his home track.” 

Music City Grand Prix:IndyCar Music City Grand Prix pole trophy will honor late driver Bryan Clauson

Nashville sports:Nashville is only U.S. city on SportsPro’s ��Seven sports event destinations to watch’

Newgarden was tabbed by Music City Grand Prix officials as brand ambassador and spokesperson for the race.

“Anytime you have an inaugural event and you have someone of Josef’s stature and prominence in the sport from here, I certainly think that adds a great piece to the event,” Nashville Sports Council president and CEO Scott Ramsey said. “I think for all the fans that are going to attend the event, especially those from Middle Tennessee, it would be great to see the hometown guy come out in front.”

Those who have signed up to volunteer for the Music City Grand Prix will receive free admission to the luncheon.

Music City Grand Prix single-day tickets on sale

Speaking of the Music City Grand Prix, single-day tickets for the three-day event (Aug. 6-8) went on sale to the general public Tuesday. 

Tickets are available by visiting musiccitygp.com/tickets, ticketmaster.com or by calling the Tennessee Titans ticket office at 615-565-4650. Prices are $35 Aug. 6, $65 Aug. 7 and $85 Aug. 8.

With a majority of the reserved grandstands sold out (including grandstands 1, 2, 3, 4, 9 and 10), a limited amount of single-day reserved grandstand and general admission tickets will be available in grandstands 7 and 8 and the recently-added grandstand 11.

Sterling Marlin writing book

Two-time Daytona 500 champion Sterling Marlin is writing an autobiography.

It will go back to his time growing up on a farm in Columbia, being a star quarterback on the Spring Hill football team and how he got into racing at the Nashville Fairgrounds Speedway.

Marlin, who celebrated his 64th birthday June 30, said he should be finished with the book in a few months.

In 1995 retired Tennessean columnist Larry Woody wrote “Pure Sterling: The Sterling Marlin Story,” which focused on Marlin’s racing career.

Marlin retired from the NASCAR Cup Series in 2009 and returned to Nashville Fairgrounds Speedway where he raced in the Pro Late Model series through 2019.

Belmont’s Egekeze signs another pro deal

Former Belmont basketball star Amanze Egekeze signed a pro contract recently with Donar Groningen in Holland.

The 6-foot-8 forward from Lake in the Hills, Illinois, averaged 10.8 points and 4.1 rebounds per game for Gries Oberhoffen in France this past season.

Egekeze was a 2018 All-Ohio Valley Conference selection at Belmont. He helped lead the Bruins to a total of 89 victories and three conference championships.

Former Tennessean sports editor Larry Taft, five others going into sports writers hall of fame

Six individuals will be inducted into the Tennessee Sports Writers Association on Thursday. 

Three are from the 2021 class — Maurice Patton, Larry Taft and George Starr — and three are from the 2020 class — Tommy Bryan, Teresa Walker and Mark Wiedmer.

The 2020 induction was canceled due to COVID-19.

Patton worked at the Review Appeal in Franklin, The Tennessean and the Columbia Daily Herald before launching his own web site.

Taft worked at the Knoxville News-Sentinel and the Democrat-Union in Lawrenceburg before joining The Tennessean. He became the sports editor at The Tennessean in 2007. He also served as director of media relations for the TSSAA.

Bryan started as a sports writer for the Lebanon Democrat in 1977 and from1981-2003 was owner and publisher of the Wilson World.

Walker began her career in 1987 and has been the Associated Press sports editor based in Nashville since 1992.

Ex-TSU star Devin Wilson named arena league player of the week

Former Pope John Paul II and Tennessee State receiver Devin Wilson was named the National Arena League offensive player of the week Tuesday.

Wilson, who plays for the Jacksonville Sharks, had nine catches for 138 yards and four touchdowns in a 52-41 loss to the Orlando Predators.

Wilson is Jacksonville’s leading receiver on the season with 27 catches for 254 yards and five touchdowns.

DuPont names 2021 hall of fame class

Former DuPont track and field star John Flatt and his daughter Traci, a three-sport star, are in the 2021 DuPont All-Sports Hall of Fame class along with former basketball star James Ray Pugh and former football star Pete Bush, who went on to coach at the school.

John Flatt, who died in 1997, set the Midstate record in the pole vault with a mark of 11-foot-5½-inches. He broke the record the following spring at 12-1.

Traci Flatt was a volleyball, basketball and softball standout (1983-85).

Pugh was a starter on the 1953 state championship basketball team. He had 23 points and 13 rebounds in the title game and went on to star at Belmont.

Bush was one of the top tight ends in Nashville (1957-59). After an outstanding career at Austin Peay Bush began his coaching career at Goodlettsville before returning to DuPont in 1974 where he remained until the school closed in 1986.

Margie Stoll inducted into Senior Olympics Hall of Fame

Margie Stoll of Nashville was inducted into the Tennessee State Senior Olympics Hall of Fame on June 29.

Stoll has spent the last 20 years competing in the annual event. This year she set an 80-85 age group record for the Tennessee Senior Olympics in each of the six events she entered. 

Stoll also is in the USATF Masters Hall of Fame.

Others in the 2021 Tennessee Senior Olympics Hall of Fame class: Joe Sykes (Clarksville), Wayne Matthews (Crossville) and Joyce Manis (Kingsport).

Nashville’s parks and recreation receive low ranking

July is National Parks and Recreation Month and Nashville did not fare well in Wallethub’s “2021’s Best & Worst Cities for Recreation.”

The Music City was 81st out of the 100 cities in the ranking, which was based on 48 metrics connected to the benefits of recreational activities.

Living costs, the quality of parks, the accessibility of entertainment and recreational facilities and the weather were taken into account.

Memphis was 90th. 

The top five cities: Orlando, Florida; Las Vegas; San Diego; Cincinnati; Tampa, Florida.

The bottom five: Fort Wayne, Indiana; Chula Vista, California; Garland, Texas; Durham, North Carolina; Oakland, California.

Crigger promoted to fulltime role at Austin Peay

Austin Peay graduate Casey Crigger was recently named assistant director of athletics communications.

The Johnson City native started out as manager on the baseball team and spent the last four years as a member of the athletics communications staff as a student and graduate student.

He will remain the department’s primary athletics communications contact for women’s soccer and women’s basketball and will move into a secondary role for the Austin Peay football program.

Harold Eller Pro-Am registration deadline approaching

The deadline to register for the Tennessee Golf Association Harold Eller Pro-Am Tournament is July 21 at 5 p.m..

The tournament is July 26-27 at Old Hickory Country Club. Register at bit.ly/3wqKHn3.

Pro Tracy Wilkins along with armatures Gary Slayden, Kenny Wilson and Eric Emery tied pro Chase Harris and armatures Buzz Fly, Scotty Hudson and Matt Cooper for the 2020 championship at  26-under.

Registration opens July 14 for Bass Pro Shops U.S. Qualifier

Registration for the biggest amateur fishing tournament ever on Old Hickory Lake opens July 14 for 24 hours only.

Registration for the Sept. 11 Bass Pro Shops U.S. Open Qualifier will be available at basspro.com/usopen.

The tournament with a guaranteed purse of $4.3 million is one of eight national qualifying events.

The top 40 finishers at the Old Hickory qualifier will be eligible to fish the National Championship in November at Big Cedar Lodge on Table Rock Lake in Missouri.

If you have an item for Midstate Chatter contact Mike Organ at 615-259-8021 or on Twitter @MikeOrganWriter.

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[chicagoindiecritics]

New from Every Movie Has a Lesson by Don Shanahan: MOVIE REVIEW: The King of Staten Island

(Image courtesy of Universal Pictures)

THE KING OF STATEN ISLAND— 2 STARS

The “semi” in front of the “semi-autobiographical” label for Pete Davidson’s quarter-life crisis movie memoir The King of Staten Island is both ambiguous and chancy. Formally, the prefix is meant to signify “half” while it often means “partially,” “incompletely,” and “somewhat.” The adjunct is fitting. At its fullest and best, Judd Apatow’s newest dramedy coming to VOD on June 12th is a collection of half-hearted beats and half-witted mischief. That’s it. Just half.

Pete Davidson’s proxy character is Scott Carlin, a 24-year-old slacker resident of the Shaolin borough of New York City. His firefighter father died on the job when he was seven, leaving behind him, his college-bound younger sister Claire (Maud Apatow), and their tough cookie single mother Margie (Oscar winner Marisa Tomei). Described at one point as looking like an “anorexic panda” with his paleness and swollen eyes, the young man-child still squatting with his mother has a list of issues longer than the grocery list of a glutton.

The wavering medications treating his ADD and depression combine with the calamitous coping chemistry of weed, risks, and impulsive decisions to keep Scott crawling through disappointing existence. He has a trio of stoned buddies (Ricky Velez, Lou Wilson, and Moises Arias), a steady lay (The Diary of a Teenage Girl’s Bel Powley, in a bit of thankless girlfriend role) who wants a real relationship, and a festering aspiration to be a tattoo artist. Add in a glass jaw, low alcoholic constitution, flare-ups of Crohn’s disease, a smart mouth, and a flippant lack of care or awareness and you have Scott Carlin. When his mother begins dating another firefighter (comedian Bill Burr), Scott’s blurry selfish foresight sets off a new downward spiral. 

LESSON #1: DON’T EVER ASK “WHAT DID I DO?”— Time and again, Scott is either high, clueless, irresponsible, or all three for his words and action. His favorite cop-out is the pleading of “I’m still figuring shit out.” However, if you have to ask what you did when both the initial choice and the predictably bad aftermath are so painfully obvious for their wrongness then the problem is most certainly you.

LESSON #2: YOUR FAMILY IS BOUND TO ITS WORST MEMBER— Folks often talk about someone being the “glue” within the family, the person that holds everyone together. Scott’s stickiness is more like the unpleasant kind you don’t want and cannot wash off. He and his issues are immovable and hold others back. His family members can’t change unless he does too. That’s a bit of the wrong and unstable kind of adhesive unity. 

LESSON #3: “THE PAIN IS THE POINT”— The repetitive sting of a tattoo artist’s needle is the cost to be paid for the (hopefully) beautiful and meaningful piece of body art that will remain for the rest of one’s life. Other pains in life have a purpose and prices as well. The point of living through, with, and beyond those pains is the resilience to become better. Some people make it to that point and others don’t. Pete Davidson and his surrogate self Scott Carlin are in that arduous cycle. 

Auto-biopics, as one could call them, are challenging undertakings. Their persuasion levels are all over the place. On one end, you have attention-craving glamour projects for the vain. On the other, there can be a respectable level of grounded legitimacy and courage to see the subject put themselves in front of a camera or audience to tell their story. The good or bad result, depending on the power of the story being shared, is either a bared soul or a cry for help.

The King of Staten Island feels quite loudly like both of those and that’s problematic. It is a 137-minute tribute to family, fathers, and firefighters with all of their heroics and dysfunction. It is a 137-minute chronicle of a shitty person being repetitively irresponsible until outside wisdom arrives with tidy and convenient character correction. It is also a 137-minute apology from a headcase sort of admitting his faults while still selfishly granting a sunny storybook ending. This film wants all three, tries all three, and that excessive storytelling is more a burden than a bounty. 

Either way this whatever-you-now-want-to-call-it biopic is entirely too long from a large team of extremely talented people who are too good for this material written by the director, the star, and a polish from Saturday Night Live vet Dave Sirus. Somehow, three editors for The King of Staten Island, three-time Oscar nominee Jay Cassidy (twice for David O. Russell works), William Kerr (Bridesmaids), and Brian Scott Olds (Central Intelligence) couldn’t trim paper with a welding torch. Honing is missing in both storytelling, comedy, and pacing. 

In a lightly commendable fashion, director Judd Apatow downshifts from the massive A-list ensembles he has been making for quite some time into this smaller single-subject project with lesser stars. He brought pedigree with him. Prolific Academy Award-winning Robert Elswit helps make the hazy basements and middle-class muck of Staten Island look like paradise. Elswit is overqualified but appreciated in doing wonders to make the star look like the star even when he’s not one.

This is the unfiltered and unbridled Pete Davidson you don’t see falling into the background of skits and bits on Saturday Night Live. If you have seen his recent Netflix stand-up special Pete Davidson: Alive in New York, that was just a taste of the forthright melancholy and madness capable of coming out of his mind and mouth. No one is going to call this range, but, as Scott, Davidson has comebacks, smiles, and, more notably, anxieties for anything and everything fed to him from his co-stars and screen partners. You either shake your head as his buffoonery or you pause in mild reflection. It’s rarely both and, again, just half.

LOGO DESIGNED BY MEENTS ILLUSTRATED (#885)

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[couldnt-think-of-a-funny-name]

I've been to Wildwood. The Jersey Shore is crazy in general but wildwood is next level. The board walk has like 200 of the same t-shirt store, feels like you're walking through the fires of hell, and is jam packed with kids on camp trips. I've only ever done the board walk there but I've seen the walk you have to take to get out to the beach, it's insane. I can only imagine what it's like with family. How old are your cousins and what are they like?

My family has literally been coming to Wildwood every year since, like, at LEAST the 1930’s, I’m not sure on anyone earlier than that, and my family is insane, so let’s dive into this.

The Main Characters In My Life On Vacation Are:

-My Grandmother, who was a child dancer star (she tapped on the radio!) who’s been coming down here her whole life- her parents used to come down the same day there would be a talent show, enter her in it, and then use her first prize reward for the money they’d spend throughout the week. Has been in the old person stage of “I’m an elder, who cares what I say or do” for the past 15 years. Has eight living kids and Too Many Descendants. Loud and refuses to admit she can’t walk half the time.

- My Mother, who gets confused very easily, overshares and breaks off into meaningless tangents in the middle of stories, snores like a literal demon, always wants to be asleep, keeps pushing for family activities, doesn’t realize all the kids think she’s lame.

- Me, who is always Extra Depressed in the summer months, and is the Sole Person In This Family My Age- everyone just stopped having babies for a few years when my mother decided to have me (Everyone is either over 25 or under 16). Because of this I’m usually confined to my room, unable to really do anything on the boardwalk because going on rides alone is depressing and my mother has heart problems. Just wants to read and write, but the children keep Screaming.

- My Aunt and Her Husband- A Very Loud Couple, she likes to control everything and he’s the only one who ever bothers to yell back at her. They always fight exactly once, every year, and every year somehow I always end up being the only other person in the apartment while its happening, so I just have to sit in awkward silence until my aunt finally huffs out “I can’t believe you’re doing this in front of my goddaughter!” and storms out to go find her kids. They make a lot of jokes and think their children are very dramatic.

- Jenna, the 14 year old cousin. Very dramatic. Mastered the art of the eye roll at a young age. Has literally looked like a mini model since she was born. Can’t be bothered to deal with anyone. We usually have one (1) tiny girl-bonding moment each vacation and then she promptly acts like she doesn’t care even though it’s clear she does. Athletic and artistic and musically/theatrically gifted. Very sarcastic. Always doing cartwheels.

- Seanie, the 12 year old cousin. Middle child syndrome. Tries to hard to be funny for attention. VERY dramatic. Will cry at the drop of a dime (I’m typing this and I literally just heard him burst into tears in the other room??). Super adorable, you can tell he’s gonna be one of those high school boys that pulls Ridiculous Shit but after one charming smile the teachers can’t bring themselves to stay mad. Very loud. Currently addicted to video game youtubers.

-Zack, the 7 year old cousin. Adorable. Loud. Lowkey a prodigy child but they can’t afford to get him into Special Schools so he’s always bored in class. Baby Of The Family syndrome. Currently in an aggressive pokemon phase. Doesn’t understand he’s literally a child, he acts like an old man half the time.

We’re all shoved into a small apartment for a week, but there are Others:

- Kathy, Grandmom’s second oldest. Literally the most bland person I have ever encountered on this planet. Very, very into trying to plan ‘fun’ family events. Thinks any conversation is a riveting conversation.

- Kathy’s husband, who is just a plain old guy who’s lowkey a hoarder and jokes around a lot, but every time someone mentions his past or his family it gets more and more confusing??? He may have a brother who was in the CIA??? He may have been homeless or he may have lived with his sister???? He may have killed a man???? I literally know nothing concrete about this man other than he’s apparently been with my aunt since they were teens but I. D. K. Every new piece of information I receive just scatters the puzzle more.

- Their eldest daughter and her husband spend most of the summer down here but always make sure to match up the schedule for when we come down. Loud, energetic couple. I have no idea what either of them do for work? They might currently be unemployed? Really into alcohol. At some point in the week every year, everyone in my apartment bonds together to diss them after we get back from the beach. Like, they’ll do something or another EVERY YEAR that sets EVERYONE off.

- The 16 year old. Tries to show everyone memes on his phone. Never really talks to people. Does NOT get along with his parents because he’s kinda an outlier in the family. I feel like he might be a stoner, but if I find out he’s got a hidden gun collection, I wouldn’t be surprised? That probably sounds awful but he’s a good kid I promise.

- Danny, 12. Adorable. Quiet. Mini golden boy. Makes jokes when you aren’t expecting them. Very resigned to the fact he has to hug me and my mother when he sees us.

- Kathy and Mystery Man’s youngest daughter, a librarian, and her stand up comedian husband, and now their three month old who is ADORABLE and everyone was surprised to learn they hadn’t named her Hermione.

Other recurring family members are prone to popping up throughout the vacation- Aunt Margie, Grandmom’s sister-in-law, who, I love her, but remember that chocolate episode of spongebob with the old woman that was essentially a stick in a wheelchair and had a chain smoker voice??? Put that in the tiniest bikini you can imagine and add a wheezing laugh and you got her. Her daughter who I could not recognize on a street if I tried. Her son Michael, who is best friends with my mom and apparently Not Gay (no one’s really convinced). A step-cousin sometimes pops by, she’s very breezy and easy-going and you can’t distinguish her Actual Talking Voice with her Talking To Little Kids Voice.

Anyway, Wildwood itself is just. Goddamn ridiculous.

The aesthetic of this place is somewhere between the 1950’s, a trailer park, and the kind of developed land you get when a moustache-twirling man wants to convince all the old people he can to retire to his buildings. Some buildings are harsh metal, and others are bright pastels, but the only thing joining them together is the fact that it looks like no one has cleaned anything here in years. EVERYTHING, even the knew stuff, looks worn and faded. Even like…the AIR is faded. It’s not just the sun being too bright, everything you’re looking at looks like it’s an old photograph. If you stay too long, you might start to fade into the landscape yourself.

I have never once seen an animal that wasn’t a seagull here. Most towns, islands, places, whatever- you usually have at least squirrels running around, maybe some variations of birds, just. ANYTHING. But it’s all seagulls all the time. You cannot exist in a spot for longer than a few moments without one of them dive bombing you. They are not mere birds. They are feathered demons that Hath No Fear Of The Foolish Mortals Of Mankind.

The song “Wildwood Days” plays on the Boardwalk every half hour. It is the only way to appease the spirits. It’s the modern, New Jersey-ian version of painting lamb blood over your door frame. As much as I’ve grown to hate the song, to twitch and clench my fist at each note, I deeply fear for the day the song doesn’t play on time and the curse is unleashed. I have a deep, sinking feeling that this moment will come within my life time.

If You Don’t Stop To Watch The Fireworks, Your Bones Shall Never Be Found.

You hear the ongoing chant of “Watch the Tram Car, Please!”, and look around, but there isn’t a Tram Car coming. The order grows louder and louder. You realize you aren’t even on the Boardwalk any more. The sound is right behind you, but you can’t find the source. “Watch the Tram Car, Please!” you realize, to your horror, the sound is now coming from inside you. You never find your true voice again.

Despite The Fact That This Place Is A Mosh Pit Of Families From All Over The World, If You Can’t Immediately Place My Accent Or Figure Out What Language I’m Speaking, I Have Legal Grounds To Kill You.

The sand simply isn’t normal. It’s ADVANCED sand. It doesn’t make sense. It never truly washes off. The more you scrub, the more appears.

Ancient gods from multiple pantheons like to chill out on the beach, have a few beers. You never know for sure who is who, but you Know they aren’t the same as you, and you know they know more about you than you’re comfortable with. For your own sake, NEVER ask them to turn their music down.

There is always at least one plane flying over with a sign reading “Jen, will you marry Sean?”. It’s been decades. Will Jen ever say yes?

Elevators Are For The Weak And We Use Them To Judge Who To Do Away With First.

The ocean goes back and forth between green and grey, and you know the color makes a significant difference but you can never quite put your finger on what.

Fish Are Fake.

All the stores sell everything you want, but nothing you need.

King Kong Is Our Fierce Protector, Loving Hero, And Just Enforcer

All the police officers and firemen and general ‘in charge’ jobs seemed to be run completely by 18 years olds

No one truly knows who pulls the shots when it comes to deciding the Boardwalks style each year. Every store sells the same Designated Style, and each year they make less and less sense. You buy a specialized hoodie anyway, and you have no idea why.

I could keep going on with that list, but the point is, Wildwood is a Strange Place and I have a Ridiculous Family, so every year is always a bit of an experience.

Like, no one in my family really has anything in common other than everyone’s always loud and everyone’s always right and everyone is always ready to loudly fight over the fact that they’re definitely right, but like. Imagine crawling through some Hillbilly Murder Showers in the garage of a condo, using all of your force to pry open a suspiciously heavy and questionably mechanized door, walking under the boardwalk and trekking over sand dunes just to find a bunch of screaming yet physically relaxed people under the flag for Montserrat. Some guy’s cracking stand up jokes while no less than three children are fighting each other, your mother is promising for the 14th year in a row that you’re gonna go on a whale watching trip and everyone knows she’s lying, some woman’s trying to hold a conversation about buying applesauce in bulk while her husband and children get drunk, there’s a skinny pale guy with horrible sunburn blasting songs from N.W.A., a girl’s cartwheeling around the site to the point you think she doesn’t know how to move any other way, a boy’s quietly drinking pickle juice, there’s a 7 year old literally trapped in a giant hole that he dug, your mother is snoring loud enough to alarm the people around you, and just when you’re starting to get a little comfortable about the feathered demons and start to relax, a tide comes in so strongly your chair literally starts getting pulled out to sea with you in in. It’s average. It's fading into the landscape with the rest of the place.

[fiinalgiirls]

GENERAL INFORMATION.

full name - jospehine harper ryan nicknames - joey, ryan gender / pronouns - she/her date of birth - july 12, 1996 place of birth - prescott, arizona / boot hill, arizona depending on verse citizenship / ethnicity - american / irish, english, scottish, icelandic. religion - atheist socioeconomic status / political affiliation - lower middle class; liberal. marital status - single, though may depend on verse. sexual & romantic orientation - bisexual. education / occupation - waitress. languages - english, some high school french and spanish

FAMILY INFORMATION.

parents - darby ( deceased ) & felicity ryan. siblings - heather, eldest sister ( deceased ); katherine, younger sister; edmund, younger brother. offspring - none pets / other - none. notable extended family - isabelle, niece and gabriel, nephew.

PHYSICAL INFORMATION.

faceclaim - maika monroe hair color / eye color - blonde / brown height / build - 5′6″ / slender tattoos / piercings - earlobes x 2. a few cartliage piercings. tattoo of ‘the moon’ tarot card on her left forearm. ‘x’ on her right middle finger. distinguishable features - big brown eyes, wild blonde hair

MEDICAL INFORMATION.

medical history - anxiety. known allergies - none. visual impairment / hearing impairment - none. nicotine use / drug use / alcohol use - very rarely will she smoke a cigarette or use drugs. drinks socially.

PERSONALITY.

traits - amiable, stalwart, imaginative ; melancholy, reserved, petulant tropes - small town boredom, desperately looking for a place in life, mommy issues, relative button, perky goth, cool aunt temperament - phlegmatic alignment - lawful good celtic tree zodiac - holly, the ruler mbti - infp hogwarts house - hufflepuff vice / virtue - envy / diligence likes / dislikes - fairy lights over a dark tapestry, old victorian houses, cats, a new pair of tights with no snags in them, a soft knit sweater, lavender lemonade, almond cookies, the sound of fallen leaves crunching underfoot /  people who dislike children, drunk drivers, the after-church sunday rush at her restaurant, ants, boys who are music elitists. quote - “she tastes like nectar and salt. nectar and salt and apples. pollen and stars and hinges. she tastes like fairy tales. swan maiden at midnight. cream on the tip of a fox’s tongue. she tastes like hope.”

FAVORITES.

food - bacon cheeseburger, and sweet potato fries. no mayo. drink - strawberry milkshake pizza topping - jalapenos, chicken, and pineapple color - black and pink music - dark synth, black or thrash metal books - we have always lived in the castle, by shirley jackson movies - suspiria, night of the living dead, uncle buck curse word - bullshit scents - peony, pumpkin, rain

BIOGRAPHY,

trigger warnings: disappearance of a family member, depression, death, car accident

josphine ryan is born the second of four to darby and felicity ryan on the hottest day in july. like her elder sister, she doesn’t have hardly more than a pale, peach fuzz or a gentle platinum swoop atop her head until the age of three. unlike her sister, joey hardly cries–even as a newborn–and never without reason. when heather learned to speak, she tried out every word, every syllable on her tongue–an intrepid speaker. joey takes her time and uses words deliberately, going from nothing to full sentences. the two girls are five years apart, but heather has been practicing this with her baby dolls for years. far apart in age, there are no closer sisters in villas adobes. as she grows older, joey thinks that, surely, there are no closer sisters in the world. it doesn’t change when the twins, katherine and edmund are born another four years later.

three girls and a boy, the ryan household is a bustling one. the kids all look after one another, getting along as well as parents can hope. heather and joey; katie and edmund. it’s just like that. it’s always like that. darby is a prestigious lawyer and they kids grow up hearing the tales of his life as a district attorney in seattle. one night, when the twins are asleep, heather asks him why he left seattle–why he left the job he loved so much. darby ryan racks his brain. he can’t remember. no matter how many times he’s asked the question, he can never remember.

one day, near the end of september, darby ryan walked out into the desert. he walked out into the desert and it was the most normal thing of all. he walked straight down silver mine road and felicity says that even one of the dominellis, or someone else over there near the funeral home, saw him walking down there and tried to wave and say hello, but he wouldn’t give them the time of day–didn’t even look them in their eyes. the cicadas sang their symphony to the desert night while darby ryan walked straight down that road , normal as can be, and he never came back.

the impact of grief affects her mother profoundly–how can you put a wandering spirit to rest?–but between the five of them, they make do. heather and joey, as the eldest girls, make sure the younger ones are looked after while felicity works two jobs. even after heather is on her own and starting her own family, she makes sure her siblings are taken care of. she fixes the lunches for the younger ones and trades out babysitting shifts with joey when she needs some solitude for homework or a trip to drive-in with margie and the girls.

joey is nearly seventeen when heather and her boyfriend die in the wreck that leaves joey with a broken arm and a small laceration to her forehead. hit by a drunk driver, joey’s niece and nephew are orphaned in one tragic accident. if her mother had been distant following her father’s disappearance, she is beside herself over the loss of her eldest daughter. within a year, felicity has lost both her job as a dental hygienist at old main street and as a waitress at the turquoise star diner. she rarely leaves her bed, let alone the house except to scrounge up enough cash for a trip to the liquor store. everything falls on the narrow shoulders of the eldest remaining daughter. still a girl herself, joey is hardly eligible for custody of her siblings and heather’s kids. on top of raising four kids, she makes efforts to maintain her mother’s image–only absent in public out of dedication to being a stay-at-home mother. the social security payments aren’t enough and joey starts working through high school. still a girl herself, she watches her sister and her dreams die in that same year.

she would’ve been a writer. some clever girl who’d spin words onto paper like she wraps blonde curls around her finger. outside this wretched place–a true boot hill, her family plot–she would have found adventures and peculiarities worth writing about. in boot hill, joey ryan finds only tedium and loss; boredom and death. history loves repeating itself like a chorus, or the nightly siren song of the cicadas, and the high school grad takes a waiting job at the same diner her mother was let go from. it paralyzes joey from making new connections; she tears up every phone number written on the back of some credit card receipt left on the table of the diner’s booths. she’s already raising four kids and her mom, most days, as well. she can’t afford a dream or a family of her own.

with the twins now in their senior year of high school, joey knows that they will move on–searching for their own lives, moving out to rent an apartment with a best friend, a lover. there are heather’s kids, seven and nine, and her mother that need looking after, and yet she feels more freedom now than she has had in the last six years. maybe someday she can get out of this place–even if it means leaving her loved ones behind. maybe someday she’ll walk out onto silver mine road, normal as can be, while the cicadas sing. she’ll walk right down that road like it’s the most normal thing in the world. she’ll pass right by a dominelli or maybe a close friend without a word or even a polite nod. maybe she’ll finally hear the cries of the amen shrieker. maybe she’ll hear nothing at all.

[gvbejvmes]

Drabble: What’s in a Voicemail?

Warnings: PG-13 Relationships: Gabe/Johnny, Gabe/Jillynn, Gabe/Nancy, Gabe & Georgie, Gabe & the girls Characters: Gabe, Jill, Johnny, Cordelia, Delilah, Bella

“Dad, don’t you think it’s a little strange that you’ve lived in New York for over a decade, and you’ve never changed your number to a New York area code?” Cordelia asked him as she swiped through his photos, looking for a particular one of Bella, despite his warnings that he wasn’t entirely sure what he had on there. One would think that she would have learned her lesson over the years when it came to Gabe not believing in censoring anything, but hey, at least he’d warned her. “It’s the same number you had when you first got your cell phone. Don’t you think it’s about time to let go of an old New Mexico number? I thought you would have changed your number so that woman can’t reach you by now.”

He shrugged. “Can you transfer voicemails from phone number to phone number? I know you can from new phone to new phone if your number is the same, but I don’t know how to keep the voicemails otherwise.”

Cordelia rolled her eyes. “What voicemails do you have saved that are so important, Dad?” And with that she swiped over to the voicemail log.

VOICEMAIL

Sullivan Bronx, New York 01/26/20 0:40

“Gabe, it’s Sully. What’s the point of having an agent if you’re not going to return my calls? Anyway, you’re probably in the studio anyway so I’ll text you, too. You have a gallery showing next Friday. Yes, you need to be there. No, you can’t bring one of the dogs and pretend it’s your support animal. Delivery of your pieces is on Thursday. Once I know the time I’ll let you know since I know you’re going to want to be there for the install. The site also seemed to be concerned about a tree with penises in it? I thought we agreed on your other installation and not that one. Call me back. Or text me.”

DO NOT ANSWER iPhone 01/01/20 0:12

“BRIEL! HAPPY NEW YEAR! I knew you weren’t going to answer but it’s New Years and fuck I just wanted wanted to hear your voice. Ugh. I hope you don’t actually listen to this.”

Satan iPhone 09/12/19 0:35

“Gabriel, are you aware that you still don’t have a proper voicemail greeting? Isn’t this the same number that potential clients use? You should correct that. I’m sure you’re losing clients based off your voicemail, but your lack of decorum isn’t why I’m calling. I’ve been trying to reach Delilah, and she hasn’t returned any of my calls. I need to know where to forward her mail, and where to send her final check from her last place of employment. Can you give me an address? And stop with the PO Boxes. I’m not sending money to a PO Box. Call me back.”

Cordy iPhone 08/03/19 0:36

“Granpa!!! It’s me! Granpa! Graaaaaaaaaaaaaanpa! Where are you? I wanna talk to you. Granpa, I saw a dog today and it looked like lady from lady and the tramp, but it was a different dog. I still got to pet it though, and Mommy and I watcheded Elsa again and-”

“Are you letting Grandpa say anything at all, baby?”

“Oh no. He’s no there. I’m telling him about today.”

“Bella, hang up the phone.”

“No.”

“Bella, hang up the phone.” 

“No”

“Bella, give Mommy the phone.”

“No! Granpa, come get me! Granpa. I’mma run away and live with you and George and the cats and my bunny and-”

Darling iPhone 06/29/19 0:14

“Hi, handsome. You’re asleep next to me. I can’t believe we’re actually doing this. I’m glad you’re in my life.”

“Jill? What’s a matter?”

“Nothing, go back to sleep, Gabriel.”

“The bees are singing.”

“I’m sure they are. Go back to sleep.”

“Dad, I wouldn’t call any of these messages worth saving. Except maybe the one where Jill caught you sleep talking.” Cordelia pointed out with a smirk.

Gabe rolled his eyes. “Scroll down further then.”

DO NOT ANSWER iPhone 03/03/16 0:32

“Hey, Birthday Boy. Court ran a little later than I anticipated, but I’m on my way home. I know you called earlier, and you’re probably pouting right now, but I didn’t forget about you. I could never forget about you. I know this case and election obligations have been taking up a lot of my time right now, but the trial is almost over and then I’m all yours. I’m thinking a vacation is in order - somewhere where clothes are optional. Oh, you’re calling me back. I’m hanging up here. Love you.”

Unknown Los Angeles, CA 10/21/12 0:31

“Hey, James. It’s Snake from North County. I know it’s been a hot minute, but I’m out of the joint and I’m looking for work. I heard a rumor that you’re out of the game, but that you still know some players. I need to make some quick cash so I can get back to my kid. I know you know how that is. I’m staying with Flaco. I know you have his number. He’s the one who told me to call you. Anyway, hit me back when you get a chance.”

212-535-7710 Manhattan, New York 06/11/10 0:32

“This message is for Gabriel James. This is Margie Brown from the Metropolitan Museum of Art. Thank you for participating in our art installation competition. We’ve received thousands of submissions from all over the nation. As you know, the winner’s installation will be a permanent fixture at the Met. Congratulations! Your piece, Freedom From the Bars, has been selected as one of our three finalists. We would like to see the piece in person. Please call me back at 212-535-7710 to discuss delivery of your piece. I look forward to speaking with you soon, Gabriel.”

Unknown 04/16/05 0:35

“Daddy, it’s DJ. Mom says you’re dead, but Cordy says you’re not and I wanna believe you. I call you all the time to hear your voice, and I think if you were dead, I couldn’t keep calling your phone. I don’t know where you are, but can you come home soon? Mom married this guy and I don’t think he’s a good person, Daddy. He goes into Cordy’s room at night, and I’m scared he’s gonna try to come in here, too. I just need you to come home and get rid of him. Please, Daddy? We need you to come home, okay?”

Blocked Roswell, New Mexico 08/15/02 0:20

“G! You need to get home! I’m going to kill Nancy, I swear to God. I’m just trying to give the girls a bath, but if Nancy opens her mouth one more time, I’m going to strangle her, G. I swear to God. Get back here and take care of your wife before I do something I’m going to regret.”

Blocked Roswell, New Mexico 08/02/02 1:06

“Gabriel, this is your mother. I called your landline, but Nancy said you were out riding your motorcycle. Honestly, Gabriel, I don’t know why you insist on driving that damn thing. You’re going to wind up hurting yourself if you keep driving that thing. Ah, but that’s not the reason for my call. I wanted to make sure that you’re still able to take me to church. Your father has his monthly Veterans meet-up on Sunday, and I couldn’t ask him to skip that for church service. Anyway, I expect you to pick me up at 8:30, and I expect you to be wearing khakis and a button-up. I also expect my granddaughters to be with you, and please dress them in the matching dresses I got them last week. Leave Nancy at home. I’ve seen your kitchen floor. I think she could use a couple of hours to get some cleaning done without you and the girls getting underfoot. Please bring the station wagon. I will not be seen being driven in that death trap of a car you drive. I thought you were going to give that car to Dustin. 8:30, Gabriel, and don’t be late.”

Blocked Roswell, New Mexico 07/29/02 1:23

“Oh my God, G. I can’t believe you bought a CELL PHONE. Where the hell did you get the money to buy a fucking cellphone from? Are you involved in something illegal? Or are you selling antiques from the store on eBay again? Because if that’s how you got the money to buy a cell phone then you better have gotten me one, too. Or half of the money you’re making off your sales. Just because you know what’s expensive because of your art history classes doesn’t mean you get to keep all the wealth for yourself. I’m getting half the store, too, you know. And I’m your sister. If you’re not going to share the wealth, you better let me use it, too. I got people to call and Derrick keeps hogging the phone line with that damn Star Trek chatroom he’s been hanging out in lately. Anyway, I’d say call me back if I didn’t think that Derrick would be online. I’ll see you at the store later. It’s inventory night; you better be there to help me. I’m not covering for you if you think you’re going out and getting laid while that wife of yours thinks you’re helping me. You better be there, G. Or I’m gonna tell her what you’re up to. Ugh, fine. I’m bluffing. I’d never out you, but I am gonna need help tonight. Some of us are in happy marriages, you know. I better see you tonight. LOVE YOU, BIG BROTHER.”

“Dad, are these the only recordings you have of Aunt Georgie’s voice?”

He looked up at her, hating that his eyes were glossy. “Yeah, kid, they are. I haven’t listened to them in years, but it’s nice to know that I have them.”