#Many of my wonderful followers have this syndrome. I am right there with you!!

[hansoeii]

Hello! Hope you're having a great day/night! I absolutely adore your art, you are one of my favourite artists. I love the way you shade and do backrounds. Also everytime I get into a new show I immediately see your art for it??

I was wondering if you had any advice on drawing more realistically (backrounds, anatomy etc) but still keeping a style?

Hey hey!

Thank you so much!

I have a pretty good understanding of facial structures, because before I got into drawing more semi-realisticly, I heavily focused on realistic portraits. Here are some example, these are from around 2019!

(yes, I was really into danmei and kpop back then, haha)

I just always loved drawing/painting faces and it was all I did. But at some point I realized that I wanted to do more than that because just portraits felt super restricting. So it took me around 2-3 years to somewhat find my style. Thought it would be fun to show a little timeline! Advice will follow afterwards :)

2020

I began working on my OCs in 2020 and since I didn't have an exact reference to work off of, I struggled a lot. My art from this year is super wonky.

2021

Still wonky, but the Lokius obsession was the jumpstart into finding my style! My work from this year is all over the place haha, I was experimenting a lot.

2022

This first ofmd piece is pretty much the first drawing where you can see where my style is gonna go, which I think is pretty cool! This is the year I made the biggest progress cos I was drawing SO much. These two pieces are only six months apart. The one on the right was the first time I gave drawing a background a proper go, too! It was a good year.

2023

And this is where I am now! I'm still constantly learning and improving, but I'd say I have a style you can recognize now!

Now here comes some actual advice, haha:

What I highly recommend you to do is to study your favorite artists as much as you can! I have like 5 A4 sketchbooks all from 2020 that I filled with sooooo many studies, where basically all I did was look at artists I like and copy how they draw stuff, to try and figure out how to stylize certain things. Some of my favorite artists are Ami Thompson, Velinxi and TB Choi. But I also liked to just scroll through pinterest and study all the art I came across that I liked! For example, if I saw a really great drawing of a pair of pants I would copy it many times in my sketchbook and try to learn how they stylized the folds. Doing this for a prolongued period of time will naturally improve your own work! It'll be difficult at first, but you gotta push through, it's gonna be worth it!

I also highly recommend studying unique faces to try and avoid the same-face syndrome. Find some cool looking people and try to draw them as simple as you can! Maybe even draw a little timeline where you first draw them as cartoon-y as you can, and keep going until you end up with a more detailed, realistic drawing. Maybe in the middle of it you find a step that feels the most fun to you, so you can try to build on that! It's a great way to figure out what kind of style might be the best for you.

Here are some cool faces I found on pinterest!

I have a pinterest board with many more!

One REALLY important part of learning how to draw all kinds of things is to understand forms and shapes and how to manipulate them. I have so many pages in my sketchbook filled with just shapes that I drew from all kinds of angles without any references.

This is a great video on it:

6 Ways to Draw Anything by Proko

Learning how to do this is so crucial! Young artists often think they first have to learn all kinds of detailed anatomy before doing anything else, but all that's gonna do is make you tired and hate drawing. Shapes are where it's at! Once you understand how shapes work and which ones to use for certain parts of bodies or objects, drawing is gonna get so much easier! Once you understand them, you can get into details such as muscles and bones!

And honestly the most important point is to just absolutely love what you're doing! I wouldn't be doing this if it wasn't for the fact that I get extreme hyperfixations on certain media that turn me into some kind of beast where I can suddenly draw 10 detailed illustrations a week, haha. Just be passionate about what you do, find something you REALLY love and go crazy!

I really hope this was somewhat helpful! My inbox is always open if there's any more questions :)

[sugarushwriting]

OBSESSED heeseung #2

“night night.”

do you all want a p3? smut/no smut?

like, share, reblog, comment! NOT PROOFREAD!!!

pls don’t repost or translate at your own.

trigger warning:

stockholm syndrome: feelings of trust or affection felt in many cases of kidnapping or hostage-taking by a victim toward a captor.

₍ᐢ. .ᐢ₎ ₊˚⊹♡

heeseung looked at your sleeping figure lovingly. you were in a deep sleep as he patted your head, tucking your hair behind your ear.

he couldn’t believe he actually had you. he didn’t like drugging you, but he had to so you wouldn’t fight him.

you were easy for him to pick up, put a blanket over your body, as he carried you to his car. thankfully no other students were out since break was coming up and either most have already left or were stuck inside studying for finals.

when he arrived at his townhome he shared with 3 others, he quickly placed you in the basement, where his bedroom was. he was lucky enough to have the basement all to himself and sound proof.

sometimes he wondered if the owner renovated this place for his own twisted purposes.

heeseung had one more class and final the next day, so he was sad to leave you, but made sure you wouldn’t make a noise.

when you awoke, you were in an unfamiliar bedroom, and your hands were bound to the headboard above you, your mouth covered, but your legs and ankles were free.

the room was mostly bare, with a few posters and a game set up. you furrowed your brows trying to remember what happened and where you were.

you couldn’t make a noise or set yourself free, but you noticed you were hungry and had to pee.

your ears perked when you heard footsteps pounding above, then a door open and close outside the bedroom. you didn’t even bother to pretend to be asleep.

when the bedroom door open, your eyes widened seeing lee heeseung standing in the doorway with a smile on his face.

“oh good, you’re up!” he chirped. he left his door open and that’s when you saw a mini living room and kitchen area out there.

he turned to where your attention was then back at you. “don’t worry, we won’t be disturbed. i have my own little studio apartment down here.”

down here? like a basement?

heeseung walked closer but you shook your head begging him to stay away. he pouted. “don’t be like that, baby.”

your head fell back on the pillow and your grumbled, suddenly remembering seeing heeseung in your apartment before he most likely drugged you with that cloth he had over your mouth.

he came closer, his eyes twinkling with excitement. he removed the gag over your mouth but you didn’t scream?

was it fear? or maybe although you were kidnapped by this lunatic you had a feeling, he wouldn’t hurt you.

instead you whispered, “i need to pee and i am hungry.”

if watching and listening to true crime taught you anything, it was to play along with the fantasies of those who weren’t in the right state of mind.

“what would you like to eat?”

you told him your favorite food. “should’ve known, you’re always eating that.” he chuckled.

“how do you know that?”

“your garbage is full of those takeout bags.” he shook his head with a smile.

“can i pee? in an actual bathroom, not a bucket?”

“baby, i’m not some monster that will make you pee in a nasty bucket.” heeseung felt hurt.

“i promise i wont run or fight.”

“trust me, i know you won’t.” heeseung suddenly got serious with his tone. “you won’t like the consequences if you try.”

you swallowed and nodded. heeseung removed the ties from your wrists, and you rubbed them trying to relieve any redness.

heeseung nodded his head for you to follow him and you did. you walked out the bedroom, noticing you all were down in a basement due to the small windows, and the view of the ground mostly. but heeseung had his own space down here which seemed a little too perfect for this.

“the bathroom is that way.” he pointed to a door slightly ajar.

“thank you.” you bowed and ran to the bathroom, really needing to pee. you shut the door, but frowned as there was no lock.

while sitting down, you looked around the bathroom, taking in the small window there was no way you could fit through. well, couldn’t escape from here.

how long would you be here? did heeseung plan to keep you forever? was he worry you would tell someone so he’d kill you afterwards?

no that doesn’t seem like something he would do.

you know heeseung is a pretty quiet guy. keeps to himself, pretty nerdy, but extremely nice.

maybe he’s just lonely.

but why you?

was it because you were nice to him? see, being nice gets you nowhere.

you huffed, washing your hands after using the bathroom, then stepping out, finding heeseung had already ordered and gathered your favorite food.

“oh, um, thanks.”

︶꒦꒷��꒷꒦︶

the rest of the day went by quietly. after you two ate, heeseung just wanted to watch movies with you.

you pretended to pay attention as your mind took in your surroundings even more, and your mind wondered to what the hell is going on.

okay so heeseung was being nice, he fed you, gave you comfy clothes of his, and wanted to just watch movies on his couch. he had his arm around your shoulders as you leaned your head against his shoulder.

boyfriend. that’s what! he was treating you like you were his girlfriend. you were right, maybe he was just lonely?

you looked up at him and took in his facial features. you thought, how could not one girl be interested in him? he wasn’t ugly, he was very much cute. why? was it because he was quiet and chose to keep to himself?

if that’s the case why weren’t you interested? your project time with him was fun and interesting. you found yourself laughing at his jokes. he taught you some new things even you didn’t know.

“why are you staring at me?” he asked and he was looking right down at you with a nervous smile.

“just taking in how handsome you are.” you said, which gave him the opposite reaction you thought it would.

he moved his arm from around you and scooted away, a frown on his face.

“heeseung, what’s wrong?”

“don’t lie to me just because you think it’ll make me let you go.”

“im not lying! you are handsome.”

he shook his head. “if i am, why are you just now telling me after i took you? why not tell me before then? you’re just saving your own ass.”

“well because i just—you never really showed any interest. you were so shy and quiet, heeseung.”

“i literally got nervous and stuttered around you.”

“well you aren’t now.” you challenged.

“because im mad.”

“and you look hot when you’re mad and pouting.”

“you’re going too far to keep me on your good side. trust me, i won’t hurt you or kill you, if that’s what you’re so worried about.”

“i’m not worried about that.” you stated. you really weren’t. “you just wanted company, right? you’ve treated me nicely for the past few hours, heeseung. you’ve treated me as if i was your girlfriend.” you stated honestly.

heeseung sniffed, holding back tears. since he was little he felt so alone in the world. parents always working, his own friends too busy for him. only wanting to be his friend because of his parents money. girls only wanted to be near him because of the money as well. so he shut himself off until college.

then it became hard to pop that bubble of his he built around him. he became even shyer than he was before, and kept to himself.

until he met you. you were something different and special to him. just the way you didn’t know who his family was, you treated him nicely like an actual human being. he took note of that when you both worked on the assignment together.

you did something some may call you insane for. you got up from your spot on the couch, then went to straddle heeseung wrapping your arms around his shoulders. you hugged him. it seemed like he truly needed it.

and he did. he hugged you tightly back, burrowing his nose and face into your neck, quietly sniffling.

︶꒦꒷♡꒷꒦︶

when night time came, he sat up with you still straddling him and walked you to his bed, where you two currently were sleeping together in. heeseung had you wrapped up tightly in his arms as he was afraid to let you go.

you let him, and you let him know that he never needed to stalk you or follow you around. you understood he was scared of getting rejected (once again) but that was a part of life he needed to cope with.

he told you the truth on how he knew your favorite drink, and all your favorites. how he got jealous whenever you talked to another guy that wasn’t him. how he always felt hurt by what your friend said about him, but felt happy whenever you stuck up for him.

he knew he had to make a move before break came, so he did the worst thing possible. he took you.

he took you, basically abducted you out of your own apartment, and you were here letting him cuddle you in his bed, while you ran your fingers through his hair.

you were truly insane. you sighed, wondering why in the hell you weren’t bee-lining to the door and running while screaming.

what happens after this? how were you supposed to be and act normal after this? what, were you supposed to now date heeseung?

“please stop overthinking this, and enjoy the moment.” you heard heeseung say quietly in his sleepy voice.

“i’ll try.” you kissed his forehead and got comfortable to try and sleep.

₍ᐢ. .ᐢ₎ ₊˚⊹♡

[puckpocketed]

ok the stick story is this

according to The Hockey Media, who as we know do not actually follow any teams closely so know NOTHING, ovechkin was finally hit by father time. he's finally slowing down. he's a shell of his old self. he has old man syndrome. blah blah blah

as a caps fan, i know that this is false, because our russian machine never break. he's a freak. who btw had like 13 goals disallowed or something crazy like that in the first half of last season but i digress

gee i wonder why ovechkin's goals went down? is it because his longtime center and future hall of famer nicklas backstrom retired in all but name? is it because our other top 6 center in evgeny kuznetsov had by far the worst season of his career (from point a game to not even half a point a game) and then went into the player's assistance program before being traded to the canes and then bolting for the KHL?

actually, as it turns out: no.

i mean probably those were factors, but there was another factor. a factor that many caps fans are very aware of but almost no one reported on for some reason (probably because they were too busy writing about how SiDneY CrOsBy was having SuCh an AmaZiNg season for a 36 year old despite ovechkin literally having just as a good a season the year prior at the *checks notes* age of 36. also this is a reminder that one of those two actually led their team to a playoff berth and it wasn't crosby)

ovechkin is, among other things, an elite shooter. like many elite shooters, he is EXTREMELY picky about his sticks. he has been using the same CCM model for the last 7 seasons...and prior to this season they discontinued it.

the first half of the season (roughly), ovi was constantly trying out new sticks from CCM, from Bauer, whoever. he tried quite a few different sticks. results: 8 goals in 43 games.

then, ovechkin found an independent supplier. apparently (i can't remember where this info came out, maybe 32 thoughts?), these guys have an "ovi pro curve" model based on his old stick with CCM and he bought it and tried it out. curve was identical, and it felt right to him. started using those. results: 23 goals in 36 games.

am i saying that he is going to continue on that pace this coming season? probably not. do i think that the rumors of his demise as a goal scorer are greatly exaggerated and almost surely mistaken? yes. am i optimistic that with some stability in our center depth and stability in stick choice, ovechkin will have a 40 goal season again and possibly break wayne gretzky's all time goals record? YES.

what this means for PLD our beloved failhorse wife: he's not getting some washed up old man former great on his wing. he's getting the greatest fucking goal scorer in the history of the sport. and i, for one, am excited to see what they can do together.

link i thought about this all morning during baking and while i was out!! thank you for the stick explanation and all the sources i LOVE citations i am eating them up like theyre cakes at teatime....! more under the cut but heres what i was thinking about when i read this:

thinking about how,, particular some players get about their equipment, how superstitious, it's crazy to me that a manufacturer can just do all that. if it were me and MYE special stick got discontinued id be suing for damages

i was super interested in what actually changed in the second half of the season because i saw ovechkin was back to scoring basically at-will again, so really thank you for explaining.. the bond between a hockey and their stick is so beaugtiful <3

cr-sby is my babygirl-in-law and i fear i will always be fond of him because of this, so i shall tread carefully here (pens friends look away) it DOES suck that they're not recognising your old man for his achievements while that old man gets hyped. is it like, weird anti-russian sentiment? or a more general anti-caps bias? every team fan space i dip into feels unfairly maligned one way or another - which, yeah! clenching my fist of rage.......

you spin such a tale and im VERY excited to see how next szn shakes out in light of all this and also . grabbing dubois by the scruff of his neck like i will stan either way but PLEASE dont embarrass me in front of my cool new friends kjlasdklasdkl....

thank you so much for stopping by and for the warmest welcome ever <3

[eccentricallygothic]

hii i do know if youre taking requests or anything but i was wondering if you could write a dark!bucky x reader fic where the kidnapping is already established and all and she finds herself giving in to bucky and it sorta shocks bucky as well, mostly soft dark bucky and comfort/fluff but dark? does this make sense

I don't really do requests only because I've danced that dance many times and failed at it every single time. Though I do like to do an interesting scenario here and there since I am a pleaser hehe 🩷

Also, I am so, so, so sorry that this is so late. I enjoy this as a hobby and my university slams me hard so I only write when I have the time and energy. I really hope you see this ���

And hope you like it still &lt;3

Warning(s): Dark!Bucky, kidnapping, Stockholm syndrome, fluff, comfort. 

Bucky was past Hydra but the life was all the same. 

He worked for a private company that paid top dollar for his expertise now.

You had been in his sight for a long time before he made a move on you.

You had caught his eye almost right after he had broken free.

Since you used to volunteer at the town library and he would come to find some semblance of his time there among the old books, getting lost for hours on end in the corner dedicated to his time.

That with the smell of your perfume whenever you would walk by was an almost euphoric experience for him.

Every day, every time.

And then Bucky knew, he had to have you.

It had been a very cliche bumping into each other.

Or at least on his part. 

Maybe you had done it on purpose to try and make conversation with the handsome man who came by everyday. 

Bucky had gone into a trance for a few moments when he had made eye contact with you for the first time. 

The world had shut down.

And you were the only sound, the only light, the only life.

He had stopped coming after that day. 

Unbeknownst to you, the man had decided he could not afford to mess this up.

You were too sweet, too kind, too nice, too pretty, too perfect and completely out of his league. 

He devised a perfect plan.

And plucked you from society like a rose from a garden.

His rose.

Could you blame him?

You seemed to like him plenty so what other reaction could you possibly have than that of delight and gratitude after waking up in the humble house his mysterious company had built for him into the heart of a forest of his choice? 

Anyways.

It had been a long time since all that bitter business. 

You were past the tears, begging, running, denying and fighting.

The man had a literal metal arm, what were you compared to pure muscle and raw strength?

You bit your lip as you forced yourself to push the silly thoughts of escape away, dabbing the disinfectant one last time on Bucky's injured shoulder that you had patched up.

Was it right? Did you do something wrong?

You had no idea.

But every time you tried to suggest he see a doctor for his wounds every other time he was back from a job, all he ever responded to the proposition with was a sharp 'no doctors'. 

"Y- You…" Sighing to yourself in defeat, you moved to the smaller scratches and cuts now.

The man only looked up at you from his position on the kitchen chair as you stood between his legs. 

"You… should be careful out there, you know…" A grunt left you when you caught sight of a soft smile on his lips. 

"I mean, I don't know what the fuck this place is and how to navigate it so I don't wanna die of starvation just because you weren't careful" though your words amused him, he grabbed your chin nevertheless, clicking his tongue. 

"Language…" You rolled your eyes though only after you looked down because the habit had landed you in trouble with him one too many times. 

Because good girls don't use vulgar language. 

He was so old fashioned it was weird.

"Sorry… sir" you forced out through your teeth, very well aware of what would become of you if you didn't follow the rules and apologize straight away. 

"Good girl" the condescending pat on the top of your head was heavy due to his strength as you went about the rest of his injuries.

The both of you lost track of time.

Bucky noticed it before you did. 

The usual stiffness of your shoulders, the tension in your jaw, the tension in your hands was barely noticeable.

Genuine concern had overshadowed the usual disdain when he had stumbled in today. 

Well, he had been gone for days before that. 

You were also extra careful with making sure every little graze was addressed today unlike before where he had to practically threaten or manipulate you into doing it. 

After you had put everything away and washed your hands, you walked slowly to him before stopping in front of him.

"You're not allowed to go MIA again" you spoke with your chin held high, as though you had any say in this house. 

The slight raise of Bucky's eyebrow almost made you falter but the small smile that soon tugged at his lips eased you back down.

Maybe this was the way.

Letting out a defiant exhale through your nose you crossed your arms over your chest, "I've heard hamburgers are best served hot…"

He had told you that.

You did not have to look over your shoulder to know that his smile deepened.

Maybe you had cooked them and waited for him by the door everyday these past few days.

But he didn't have to know that.

Bucky groaned to himself as he pushed his body up and slowly followed you.

Maybe this was the start of something good. 

Or…

It didn't matter though. Bucky sighed as he circled his arms around your waist from behind while you served the food.

Perching his chin on your shoulder, he let his eyes flutter close as he inhaled your scent.

You smelled like home.

Nothing more, nothing less.

Whatever you will choose to do with this, Bucky decided, won't change anything. 

Because the fact of the matter was, you were his and you didn't have a choice.

[vitsa-didicoy]

Good evening, I was wondering if you had any good sources for people trying to learn/reconnect to Romani culture? I’ve been trying to learn more lately as my great grandmother left Europe during ww2 and was only allowed to keep her new children (in our current country, the one she fled to) if she didn’t tech them her language, religion or anything really (same with her new husband who was a refugee from another country). Wouldn’t even tell grandma what country she was from to narrow it down, but we recently found out about her eldest kid in Denmark. Would you know of any reputable resources I could access?? There’s a lot of bull shit floating around the internet and I’d hate to be misinformed

I'll start this by apologizing ahead of time for the length, as there is so much information that I feel is important when you are wanting to reconnect with Romani culture. Also, I'm not an expert and a didicoy myself. I do not have Romanipen and do not speak for all Romani. I am just someone who wants to help Roma and didicoy alike with their struggles.

First thing to understand is that Roma are not a monolith (obviously) and that our culture, religious practices, food, clothing, music, art, etc. all varies from vitsa to vitsa and even family to family. There are similarities of course, but never assume that just because one vitsa does one thing that means that its universal. A lot of gadje that try and write Romani characters get this wrong.

Some of our biggest similarities, though, are what keep us together across vitsas, especially our language, our oppression, and our Romanipen. Romanipen is a serious thing, often dictating whether you're "truly" Romani or a gadjo. Whether or not someone has Romanipen is based on whether they speak Romani Chib, were raised in a Romani community, follow Romani laws and traditions, know Romani history and oppression, etc. Because of the importance of Romanipen, some vitsas do not consider didicoy (Roma who were raised in gadjekane society and do not have Romanipen) as Roma and consider them to be gadje. This does not mean didicoy can never be accepted back, but it does mean that there is a lot of work that goes in to reconnecting with the culture.

So, where can you start? In my opinion the easiest way to start learning is through Florian Tacorian. He's Kalderash Romani and he talks about Romani culture, language, traditions, and oppression, including rating characters that represent Romani people in fiction. He's very digestible for gadje and didicoy to learn from. His YouTube channel is found here:

Once you feel comfortable with the info you learn from him, you can delve deeper by reading books about the Romani experience. Many Roma have written their experiences and history into published works (I'll link a list later in the post), but one that I've personally read from is Ian Hancock. He's Romanichal from Britain and he now teaches linguistics and other subjects at the University of Texas in Austin, TX.

Ian Hancock's works:

I suggest: We Are the Romani People and Pariah Syndrome

And here's a compiled list of Romani authors if ever you want to extend your knowledge to other experiences:

Furthermore, I truly believe that advocating for Romani Rights and learning from current events is half of learning about Roma as a whole. Our oppression is on-going with public opinion of Roma being wholly ignorant at best and vehemently hateful at worst. Reconnecting should also be spearheaded by a desire to uplift Romani voices and to advocate for equal rights. To be more educated on current Romani events, the European Roma Rights Centre is the best place for it.

European Roma Rights Centre:

Next, the most desired part of reconnecting I'd say, is learning Romani Chib. The reason you may not see easily accessible lessons for Romani Chib is because it is closed, meaning only Roma are allowed to learn it. This doesn't mean lessons for didicoy don't exist and there are resources available to learn Romani Chib. Personally, I'm learning American Kalderash from Ronald Lee's books. Even though I'm not Kalderash (at least to my current knowledge), it is still a useful dialect to learn, especially if you live in North America and want to converse with other American/Canadian Roma.

Keep this in mind, pretty much each vitsa has its own unique dialect and, based on the region, each dialect may have different loan words from the country that that vitsa resides in. Ronald Lee will not teach you how to speak every dialect, but, if you get the ground work in and talk to more and more people, you may be at least able to understand what someone from a different vitsa is saying using context clues and thus build your own vocabulary.

Link to Learn Romani by Ronald Lee:

Link to it's sister book, Romani Dictionary (English - Kalderash) by Ronald Lee:

Lastly for this section, community is a huge thing for Roma, it's the biggest thing that has kept us alive through being exiled, persecuted, enslaved, and assimilated completely in the over 1,000 years we've been out of India. It's also something that many didicoy have a big problem with, considering the points above on how hard it is for didicoy to be accepted by Roma. It's not impossible, nor is it hopeless however.

Some Roma will take pity on you because you didn't choose to be raised a gadjo, some Roma will see you as an aspect of racism and be defensive, some won't care and treat you on the basis of your character instead, and some will just ignore you. Again, Romani people are not a monolith and 10-12 million minds all with different lives will have incredibly varied opinions.

It is key to keep this mind and most importantly, to be neutral about this internally. You did not choose for your ancestors to undergo persecution, you did not choose to be raised in the dark about your heritage, and you did not choose to be born with mixed blood.

The best you can do when approaching the community is to be respectful, but engaged. As a didicoy you both can't be entitled to practice every aspect of the culture, but you also can't be too afraid to try what you're allowed to. If you are unsure of your place, ask. If you have a question about a practice, ask. If you are interested in aiding and actually being a cog in the community, you can also just ask. "No" is not a bad word and understanding why you're rejected if and when you are is a good mindset to have when you're trying to build trust in the community, too. On the flip side, if you are presented an opportunity to practice within the culture, take it. If there are Romani events in your area with an open invitation, visit and actually experience first-hand. Talk to people, tell them your intention and if you are genuine, you'll get farther than you might think.

As for online communities, I suggest starting with r/Romani on Reddit. There are a lot of posts from didicoy asking about where to start, like you. Read the comments on those posts and you'll see a lot of advice from Roma with all different experiences. And don't gravitate towards the advice that makes you feel good, just the advice that makes logical sense to you.

r/Romani:

Again I'm sorry that this is not only so long, but also that it took so long to get out. When answering these questions, I try to help with any aspect that I can, but I still want people to engage with the community themselves. I wish you the best of luck and I hope that you find the answers you've been looking for.

We are all in this together. Te aves baxtalo 💙❤️💚

[deyisacherry]

thoughts about sun and moon repurposed/rebuilt as Therapy bots?

WOWOWOWOW YOU JUST THRILLED ME WITH THIS!

OK I HOPE I INTERPRET IT THE RIGHT WAY, AND EXCUSE ME FOR HOW MUCH I AM ABOUT TO TALK, I HAD TO THINK A LOT TO WRITE THIS!

If I interpret it correctly, Sun and Moon literally as therapist robots?

Oh man, where do I start?

First of all, assuming that it is already possible that these types of jobs can be handled by AI robots due to how advanced the technology and programming would be like we see the robots in FNAF SB being, it would be a good idea! Oh, but for God's sake, don't let them belong to fazbear! Dreadful! I would take tht Sun and Moon were sold after the pizzaplex closed!

Completely fixed and repurposed, their programming had to be corrected, many things removed, others preserved, and WOW they would have to give them a lot of knowledge about psychology in general! Ah, what remained of their theatrical past would hardly come to light, at least not like when they were attendants, but hey, one or another theatrics doesn't hurt. Their personalities would of course be preserved. Our Sunny boy being properly helped with his anxiety attacks, there is nothing to fear anymore! Moony free of any virus, being a clever softie

Ah, although it would be controversial for robots to do such delicate health work, of course there would still be human workers, the majority of them are! (Also, it wouldn't be strange if many patients don't want their therapist to be a robot!). Likewise, Sun and Moon would be programmed with all the ethical codes of a psychology professional specialized in therapy, and hey, who is more attached to their protocol than a robot? That's why they were accepted for such work, violating the ethical/moral code wouldn't be a problem (right?)

And then, being accepted and put to work, what kind of therapists would they be? Perhaps child/youth therapists, they must be allowed to feel that they are in an environment familiar to them.

Would they be separated? Would they leave their AI's in the same body? Although it would be efficient to separate them to occupy more patients, perhaps they would start out being together

Sunny assigned to children and youth to treat disorders such as depression, anxiety, PTSD, etc! Moony would be assigned to young children, neurodivergent! Treating patients with autism, ADHD, down syndrome, tourette's, etc!

Although their old programming makes them remember (they keep memories) how attached they were to children, they try as much as possible not to be too attached to their patients, they must follow their protocol, professionalism, but well executed.

They are kind, caring, responsible.

Oh, they still have to deal with obnoxious parents. No, your child does not have any disease from feeling a sexual attraction other than heterosexuality. No, autism and ADHD are not transmitted through vaccines, blah, blah, blah. And… other parents. (They don't like those parents, there should be some punishment for those parents-)

Eclipse! Our angel has to be there! Assigned to any of the patients Sun and Moon treat, Eclipse does a wonderful job as well, and also allows Sun and Moon to rest individually.

Omg, so many ideas, you've opened a Pandora's box in my head(?)

[just-sp-in-inginthevoid]

Hello. I am wondering why you start liking Takeomi. He is the most hated character by the fandom and your choice of wet soggy cat is very unique. I want to listen your ramblings.

Oh anon, if only I knew

I'll try to remember how it happened, that much I think I got it.

So, when I first got into TR, my mind mostly focused on Mitsuya and the Shiba (mostly Taiju), so much so that I ended up writing a lot more than I thought I ever will on Taiju and explaining where his behavior comes from

Because it seems like a lot of people missed some important information. And by doing that I was able to show them details they had missed (prove that I was right in previous posts where I didn't justified myself and basically got called a liar by someone in the notes which incredibly pissed me off-) and, although that doesn't excuse what Taiju did, it does explain it and makes him more.. real? Maybe not relatable, but his domestic abuse didn't pop up out of nowhere and a lot of people know what intergenerational trauma can do so while still hating Taiju they could understand him better.

Then, having finished my Taiju analysis which also opened my eyes since I found more than what I initially thought about; I myself was able to understand him better and so I thought-

Why not do that with every hated characters in the fandom?

I don't quite recall if my (at the time, very slight) interest in Takeomi happened a bit before or at that time, but the reason why I focused on him before the others (which, uh, aren't a lot anyway) was because I saw stuffs written about him which I didn't really agree with? Like, yeah, he was flawed and raised his siblings badly - especially when next to Shinichiro who was (at least depicted as)(and try to be) good at it - but they were kinda amplifying things

I know that a lot of people relate to Sanzu, or just, love him, and since they saw things I haven't seen, I told myself 'well, let's investigate, then' and then I wrote about 17k words on Takeomi's psychology.

I literally walked myself into the Takeomi rabbit-hole (what a FUCKING mistake /positive)

Takeomi did neglect his siblings, and passive-aggressively verbally, or even emotionally, abused Sanzu and for most of the fandom, is not attractive (and, let's not lie, beauty is a redeeming quality for a lot of characters regardless of fandom. How many characters, no matter their faults, get forgiven by fans just because they're hot, uh?). So he sucks, yeah

You know what he did do? acknowledged his mistakes, apologized for them and would have started his redemption arc if Wakui had had the time for that when warping up the story

He made mistakes, he's flawed, he's human, he wasn't even supposed to be here because he only entered the delinquent world to keep following Shinichiro, his ego which was back then very weak and non-existent got inflated for either survival or because he received so many compliments he didn't know what to do with it if not both because he was a k i d.

Most of the characters in TR are kids or young adults when they commit things they shouldn't have done. And yes, you can hold them accountable for it but they didn't know better - they didn't have the tools to

Now, why do I like Takeomi.

First of all - the amount of flaws he has. Don't think I need to make the list, I think everyone's got it (although make sure to remember he's got an inferiority complex and it's most likely that he also has an imposter syndrome so he's just like me fr-). But even with that, he's never an antagonist. He does things wrong but he's on our side (he's just very deaf to anyone's opinion that doesn't fit his). He sucked at raising his siblings as a kid himself (before his superiority complex developed and during it too - albeit in different ways) but that's just.. realistic? Not that it takes away the seriousness of it and the consequences, but how else could it have been? The impact on Sanzu were disastrous (not that they were the only reason why Sanzu lost it), I understand that, I don't erase that nor deny it BUT THERE'S A REASON WHY TAKEOMI IS LIKE THIS, TOO. And if people blame Takeomi for his actions (which, again, fair.) then blame Sanzu for his!! he was willing to mass murder hundreds of people!!! including his sister!!! he killed a few people!! argh. But Sanzu got his tragic-backstory/childhood shown and has a design that appeals to most, so I guess it's harder to hold him accountable for the seriousness of his actions (I like Sanzu, don't get me wrong. But sometimes the hypocrisy of some fans makes me a tiny bit angry 🙃)

Anyway, reason 84123286 of why I need Takeomi's backstory. Bc, honestly, from what we know of him as a kid+his coping mechanisms as a teen/adult, it would make sense to me if one of the reason he was so hostile to Sanzu was because he saw himself in him and Didn't Like ItTM (for different reasons) (!!! Which would add nicely to Shinichiro seeing himself in Mikey!!! more sano-akashi parallels, lets goooooooo) Talking about the parallels between the two, the fact he's Shinichiro's narrative foil compels me lots. Takeomi is quite literally Shinichiro with a negative filter on. And how can he survived that? How can he cope with the fact that no matter how much he wants and tries to be Shinichiro he'd never succeed? He'd always be the pale copy, the wood statue covered with golden leaves that are peeling away with time next to the pure gold statue. The Teru Teru Bozu that fails to chase the rain away and is going to be decapitated for his ineptitude. He'd always be himself and that's what he hates the most. He'd always be compared to Shinichiro and there's nothing he can do about it. And he can't even be angry at Shinichiro. That's his best friend. He loves him. He has been the first to love him. He has been there before anyone else. He can't lose Shinichiro, Shinichiro gave him everything. Everything he cares about, he sees value of, at least. Immaculate.

I'll also die on the hill that he is competent. He himself has no idea on what but he is (he mixes everything. For him it'd go like this: he gets praised but he's done nothing, Shinichiro has done everything which means they praised him for what Shinichiro has done. Which means what Shinichiro do, he does too. Which means Shinichiro's achievements are his as well! right? He didn't do anything by himself, there's no need to praise him for something else.)(he's fully blind that strategically-speaking and in other brainy-brain domains he's competent af. Bc since it comes 'easily' to him - since he doesn't struggle much with it, or in contrary he struggles so much he cannot possibly be good at it, then there's nothing to praise. And like, for him what Shinichiro does deserve to be praised. What he himself does is just.. things he does so compliments feel shallow)(+Bonten strives as much as Bad Toman and Manila if not more, yet there's no Kisaki. Ofc there's still Koko so that helps, but Takeomi is new to the team and got recruited (at least that what Senju said) in Brahman for his ~wisdom~)

He's also the only character who was around before Shinichiro 1) became a big brother 2) became a delinquent and that has to mean something. They're the only ones left to remember how the other was before their life went to shit

In the final timeline, he looks so healthy. He made peace with himself, his relationship with his siblings is good, he made amends. He healed, they healed. His relationship with Shinichiro, Benkei and Wakasa is good too everything's great. He learnt to understand what he is competent in and focus on it; he's not Shinichiro, he'll never be and that's okay. He's him and what he is complete Shinichiro just as Shinichiro complete him – they take care of one another's flaws but can also know live independently from each other. Perhaps, perhaps Takeomi stopped being so dependent of him

Appearance-wise, I love dark hair+green eyes combo in general so it wasn't that hard (plus there are some godly fanarts out there)

And of course: despite his complexity, at the end of the day - he's really just a pathetic wet poor excuse of a man who can't do anything right and isn't that endearing

I'm slowly getting out of the denial-phase to enter my acceptance-phase when it comes to loving Takeomi. Liking things most people hate or are neutral about is smth I hate for Reasons but it also seems to always happen lolololol. Will try to talk more about Takeomi when it comes to my mind, in case ppl who also love him but don't want to make it known because of his bad reputation in the fandom saw my posts and feel a bit more okay and comfortable with loving him

[ilovedthestars]

Hiiiiiiii I just read the entirety of the murderbot diaries in a week and I am SO OBSSESSED and want to become more obsessed. Do you have recs for good blogs to follow (other than you) for people who post about murderbot (and are active? I don’t know how late to the game I am).

oh hello!!!! congrats on discovering murderbot!! i'm so curious how my blog was the first you found, but thanks for saying hi!!

i am so happy to inform you that there is a THRIVING murderbot fandom on tumblr, ao3 and discord!! a big chunk of the fandom hangs out in a few different discord servers, if that's your thing you should check them out! I'm an active member of the biggest and oldest one, the Murderbot Diaries 2.0 discord, which i can get you an invite for if you like! We have some really fun fandom events (including an ao3 comment bingo going on right now) and so many fun conversations about the books and fic ideas. There's also a couple other servers that have been created more recently, including New Tideland which I hear is also very friendly, i bet someone else can get you a link for that one.

as for tumblr, i have some wonderful wonderful mutuals who i met on the murderbot discord! i'm trying to remember who's been posting murderbot stuff recently--off the top of my head @grammarpedant @elexuscal @specialagentartemis @snugglyeldritchjellyfish all have great murderbot thoughts and fic, @broken-risk-assessment-module @alex-van-gore @sentient-pineapple have all that and have drawn some killer murderbot fanart. (fair warning if you follow all of these people you may end up with Same Post On Your Dash 10 Times syndrome XD i have a pretty small and tight knit fandom circle and i recommend you go seeking out others as well!)

if you're looking for some cool posts to read & reblog @grammarpedant has a "murderbot reruns" tag which includes some of the awesome meta and art that's gotten circulated on tumblr in the past, i highly suggest you check that out for a start!

i am leaving So So many cool people out but my memory is limited, murderbot friends pls rb or shout yourself out in the replies if i missed you!

[stillwinterair]

Howdy kids

My name is Dee! It's not the name I went by for most of my years on Tumblr, but it's the one everyone knows me as. You might remember my url as nyriad, visovari... I went by a bunch of others too, but those are the only two I seem to remember now 😅

The last time I was on Tumblr, I was in the middle of a very difficult period of my life that I didn't really have the tools or support to navigate. But sometimes you gotta go a lil wacky and make some fresh new regrets so you can grow up a lil bit wiser and sexier

I quit the internet pretty much cold turkey for a while and it was one of the best things I ever did for myself. I spent a year pretty much focusing on nothing but my immediate surroundings, living in my own skin, learning how to love myself. I've gotten a lot more comfortable being myself, and have grown a lot more connected to the earth.

In my time away, I was diagnosed with ADHD, which even just the diagnosis has significantly improved almost every facet of my life. I've gotten so many new tools and so much new language to express myself and my needs. I've stopped feeling like there is something wrong with me and let go of a lot of shame that I held around myself, my work flow, my ability to focus, my needs for rest, etc. As I've met more people with ADHD, I've grown a lot more empowered and confident. I'm still figuring out what medication works for me (Adderall and Concerta are hell incarnate; Ritalin and Vyvanse are the bee's knees). It's been revolutionary and healing, honestly. Reading the book "Driven to Distraction" was an important first step that I recommend to everyone who's ever thought they might have ADHD, or if you were like me, always felt stupid and slow and always wondered why you never could quite get around to doing all the things you want to do.

I am also currently pursuing a diagnosis for Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome, as per my doctor's suggestion. I won't get into it too much here, but it is a chronic illness that has made the last year pretty difficult. I have a lot of severe chronic joint pain and lethargy, and it's been... a lot. I'm starting physical therapy soon. This part isn't fun to talk about, but it's becoming an important part of my identity.

I've also met the love of my life, my soon-to-be fiancee, Nathalie! We were inseparable pretty much from the day we met, and spent a year as best friends. And then after that year the sexual tension became too much to handle, and now another year later, here we are, stupidly in love, utterly obsessed with each other, turning every single day into a fun, wacky, new adventure lmao. We've built the most beautiful, trusting, communicative, intimate relationship I've ever experienced and I am so filled with pride and joy and love and happiness every day. We're still best friends -- no force on this earth could ever get us to shut up when we're in the same room. She just fills me with butterflies and glee and light. Nat has this burning desire to create in whatever the most tactile medium she can find is. She loves mechanisms and fibers and all of the ways different materials interact with each other. She inspires me every day to be more open and honest and to pursue whatever creative venture has caught my interest, and I do the same for her. We dance together, create together, and share big emotions and life goals and it's just the most beautiful thing I've ever felt, and this paragraph could go on forever if I don't end it right now

I've also finally started to settle into my writing flow. I've got a space opera that's really beginning to take shape and I'm pretty proud of what it's turning into :) I also have a fantasy saga that's following a few steps behind. Both are things I've been working on for nearly a decade in fits and spurts, but I've done more work on them in the last year than in all previous years combined. I've gotten into more artistic mediums as well: oil painting, photography, beading, and so on. And very into fashion, kind of. Y'all should see my wardrobe these days -- bright colors, crazy patterns, wacky silhouettes. I feel like I finally look like myself. I'm currently rocking a purple mullet and a mustache, so... yeah, I'm having fun with it

I'm not sure how many of my old friends and mutuals are still hanging around, but I wanted to say hey, track a few of you down, and give a little update on how things are going for me post-Tumblr. I am alive, and I'm pretty happy these days. Some days I miss it here, and while I'll never come back in the same capacity as I used to, I wanted to reconnect with some of my old friends that I used to talk to and hang around with every day! I'm gonna poke around over the next while and see who's still around :) honestly I still think about some of y'all on the daily, and I got too curious about how my old friends were doing.

If you want to keep in touch, I'm on Instagram as deehollandaise. I'm on Discord much less often, but if you want to connect there, shoot me a message and I'll share the deets. Warning that I am just straight up not involved in any fandom stuff these days. It's just not for me anymore.

I will be retiring this blog in the new year, setting the whole dang thing to private and probably starting a new one with which to share some of my creative projects. I'll let y'all know about it before that happens.

I don't know, this is all kinda word vomit, I guess I just wanted to let all my old friends know that I'm still here and that I'm finally figuring myself out. I've got a lot to be proud of and grateful for and I've barely scratched the surface, so I'll leave off with some recent photos. Have a hot & sweaty 2024, you sexy things 😘

- Dee

[omegaremix]

Listen to me very carefully: never go into record collecting. Each and every one of you. I am not fucking around when I say this.

Music has become my entire life since the Brentwood era. I’d never realize I had the collectors’ (or hoarders’) gene until I figured out that I could get into anything and everything I come across. Throw in endless visits to record stores, making mix cassettes and CD’s, the advent of downloading, plus the infinite discovery of anything and everything you could possibly imagine hearing, and you end up with a life-long addiction with no cure.

I have a huge library across all formats as a result of habitual visits to record stores and donations from friends and family. I have no luxury in showing it during the age of doxxing. The amount of music I have sitting on the shelves and the time it takes to listen to it all easily surpass my remaining life expectancy.

During the Summer of ‘18 and ‘22, I decided to treat myself. I’d visit each and every record store on the island (even a couple of city locales) and spent as much money as I possibly could. No regrets. These record-store victory tours netted me literally hundreds of vinyl records, cassettes, and CDs I’d take home. I also purchased a few books along the way as well. While compulsively spending money and treating yourself is great short-term, in the long-term I easily fucked myself, and not in an Aaliyah Milan way. Bottom line: I buy more than what I listen to.

So why the backlog? Other than heavy compulsive buying, you can blame a short attention span, indifference, impatience, non-immediacy, or the low low sticker prices of used music in all formats, and it’d be very easy to shelve titles and fall behind on hearing everything. The time it takes for me to collectively visit each record store (say, 15) for a few hours is a snap of the finger compared to the entire total running time of every vinyl record, cassette, or disc I own combined. Easier to dig your own hole than it is to climb out of it.

That’s not all. There’s Real-Life Syndrome of having to balance a 40-hour workweek, time for the gym and supermarket, and other errands to be done. In my case, I have several ongoing projects with no end in sight such as running this new music blog, a radio show which I spend hours sound-editing for, graphic design, and photography.

And, there’s still more I want to do on top of that. I’ve been meaning to learn Italian and coding. I have a CD / DVD-R archive that needs salvaging before they all suffer disc rot. Plus, I have hundreds of VHS tapes needing to be digitized before fading out forever. 

Ask me why I feel the need to put myself through this? How did this chase of wanting to listen to everything all start? With a Polish goth girl. She was someone I never knew I was looking for all along. Locale, dress code, intellect, sexuality, and her sweet complexion. She mentioned The Forbidden Zone, a cult film featuring Herve Villechaise and Oingo Boingo. Right on the ‘free’ space. How could I forget? We traded playlists and later learned she was into early-era industrial, Adam Parfrey, Caspar Brotzman, and early-Eighties punk. Who else did I knew that were at her level?! The moment she asked me about Phillip K. Dick was when I was caught off-guard. She gave me a run for my money by knowing many things I didn’t while being curious by what she knew. That’s when I realized I should’ve known beforehand and be ready, instead of scrambling to find the answers.

We made plans on meeting up but that never happened. She announced she was taken, and I felt lead on and hurt beyond belief. I wondered why she did what she did and what could I have possibly done wrong. I first felt I wasn’t up to snuff and should’ve been ready to answer everything all along. But, it continued from there.

I posted a few INXS entries on my music blog. Enough for one of my long-time followers to reach out to me about it. She asked me what I thought of them and if I listened to any of their albums recently? I didn’t have much of an answer other than I grew up listening to “New Sensation”, “Devil Inside”, and “Need You Tonight”. I have four of their tapes but haven’t got around to hear them. In a way I felt embarrassed because I only heard their radio singles and never expected someone to stick me on Michael Hutchence. Oops. She got me!

I have others who are crazy for Nine Inch Nails and Depeche Mode. The former would be my saving grace because I’ve been a life-long fan of theirs. It made the latter feel like casual listening as I, once again, grew up listening to their radio singles. (Though, I did end up getting Songs Of Faith And Devotion when that came out and loved it.) She became the starting catalyst of me wanting to fill in most of the blanks from that point on; consistent enough for even Gene Rayburn to walk off the set in protest.

But the real kick in the ass came from a friend of mine from The Great Lakes who’s a TV-show and movie connoisseur. Oh, shit. It’s been a while since I watched either of them. I used to indulge in visuals all the time up until I left Stony Brook. That’s another level of expertise I’ve been falling short of. While there are some titles we both got excited about, she’ll occasionally toss a few my way which I haven’t seen. You could tell how I’d feel every time I miss.

But, she understands and never judges anyone of falling short. If there’s any consolation, she had thrown me a few familiar names that got me down a rabbit hole of everything from 1977 to 1982. The Stranglers, The Fall, Television, Orange Juice, Pere Ubu, and more. She’s set up her Spotify playlists and didn’t mind me pilfering through her music posts. For that, I am grateful because she made me appreciate alternative, peak hipster (‘00’s), chillwave, and even synthwave more. Even I resurrected my Last.fm from two years of dormancy and gladly signed up for Letterboxd which she suggested I do. I always thank her and let her know that everything she’s sent me never goes to waste and is always appreciated.

**********

There’s quite a list of artists whom I’ve been meaning to reach back and catch up on for a long time. The Cure, The Smiths, Depeche Mode, Henry Rollins, Siouxsie Sioux and more. It never ends. I feel ashamed of myself because (again) these are artists I should’ve known about from the beginning. Friends, music publications, and anything else make me feel like I missed out when they sing the praises of legendary or well-lauded artists, sounds, or albums. The same for movies and TV. The Handmaid’s Tale, Orange Is The New Black, The Office, Curb Your Enthusiasm. In ways, I still feel excluded. I don’t want the other person to think that I’m bullshitting my way to their heart or friendship, but I still have that fear of being rejected and shoved out of the way because of it.

Jello Biafra did say that “not everyone can do 100%”. And he’s right. It goes for what you have in common for people: a Venn diagram in which two people’s interests overlap into one. That also goes for doing massive projects like catching up on your entire media library. It’s a tough undertaking for me to achieve, and I imagine how stressful that is while staying on top of everything. That's when another mutual put their stack of Benjis in and suggest I don’t go crazy; just simply take my time in getting my listens in one at a time. That’s now a reality. Working at home means an hour more worth of time that I would’ve spent otherwise on driving to-and-from my location. I also completed digitizing my entire personal cassette dub library. All 400 of them. That took a few months on-and-off for me to complete. And, new solid-state storage installation means I'll have everything at my fingertips.

Nowadays, I don’t worry much about falling short like I used to, and I shouldn’t. No one should compare themselves to others. Though, it’s fun when you're prepared for those specifics and get double (or even triple) the points when it hits. On the other hand, I have vinyl LPs, tapes, and discs burning on my shelves, waiting to be taken out. I feel knowledge and hard-spent money will all go to waste if I don’t get to them. And, I will. Oh, trust me, I will. I'll be doing that while fending off the constant releases of new sounds, artists, albums, and other discoveries from now until eternity. Like Atari's Tempest, you know they keep coming at you.

(Hat-tips to @sweetness-doesnt-touch-my-face, @sheisthesisterofnight, @tewz, and @xdressedinblack for the push.)

[bloggingboutburgers]

Heyo again! I wanted to say that your comics are lovely to read, Keep it up!

You don’t need to respond to this but I also want some advice from ya, its been pretty bumpy road for me on my art Journey, The good and the bad stuffs, I started drawing again in last year for almost 3 years and I have been improving my art style, I have a small but lovely followers on two social medias, I enjoy making that I love and even making my own artwork but sometimes I feel like I am not artist enough or interested enough, so I maybe ask you for some art advices? Any advice is fine but I want to do a story to draw and tell but I’m not good at writing or experience at least, I also want to start commissions if possible if anyone interested in my artworks but I don’t have a payments yet for now,

I probably search up these things but I want wanted someone who experience just before possibly

You might not understand this submitted question cuz I don’t know how to Express my thoughts and feelings if that makes sense, and you don’t have to answer it if you don’t want to if this isn’t your thing, that’s all from me hope you have a good week

Hi bean! Sorry I'm replying so late! Don't worry, I think you were pretty clear in formulating your question!

I just am not sure if I'm the best person to answer or give advice on that because... I'm not that good an artist at all. I have trouble sticking to discipline, I only ever draw what I like without challenging myself too much unless I REALLY want to, and... Yeah. No wonder I'm at the tiny level I'm at in my 30s, to be honest. The only reason why my art ever gets positive reactions is because I happened to draw something that people liked enough, and even that is super dependent on timing and other factors. It's very tough to get noticed, so I've found, or if it IS easy, then I must be a bit dumb, because I haven't figured it out.

One thing that I feel HAS positively helped me a lot though, has been entering art challenges and contests, and there are plenty of those out there, which is good! If it's anything that can help me practice more towards my goals, then it's a good experience. Be it a writing challenge, a drawing challenge on a specific theme, a comic-drawing challenge or whatnot... Personally I find they always give me an opportunity to develop ideas in a way I like, and to end up with a final product which I don't necessarily always like, but which at least showcases my progress.

I really don't do commissions often because I don't need the money that much, so the extent of my experience goes to IRL stuff and iterances where someone has specifically seeked out a commission from me, so I'm also not the best at giving advice regarding commissions either TwT But if that's something you want, I'd really recommend to go for it! I set up a paypal account to receive payments when I was about your age for translation gigs, it's tough at the start but then it pretty much rolls off pretty easily, and I've only sworn by that, but I'm sure there's many other trustworthy options out there as well! (I really don't have that much experience in that sense, haha TwT)

But yeah... Also overall, I guess, no matter how hard impostor syndrome tends to hit when you're an artist, especially when you're still developing what you want to do and all, it's definitely important to actually go out there and show yourself out. Dare to say "Yeah, I make art, so I'm an artist, let me in on the artist scene." If you want to make art and show your art, overall, nobody has a right to tell you not to, or to tell you you're not an artist, no matter how much societal pressure there is against that. One's gotta have the courage to say they're an artist, or at the very least an aspiring artist, if they wanna be one, it's actually a key part of the process. (Arguably I haven't been good at it lately. I haven't put myself out there much for art gigs or challenges and whatnot. I should really go for it more.)

But yeah TwT Sorry, I feel like I've been writing a whole lot not to say that much, but I hope it's been a little helpful at least! Also from what I can see, and especially from the first years I've known you, your art already has improved a ton, so from my point of view, you're doing good! Don't give up, do your best not to be scared and to fight off that voice in you that tells you you're "not enough of an artist". And hopefully you can keep having fun drawing what you want to draw, that's super important, at the very least to me, I've kept swearing by that, whether what I like drawing is popular or not.

(PS: Listening to music and imagining situations to it and reading new comics that speak out to me are two surefire ways to get my inspiration going too, in case that helps!)

[southerngeekchic]

First step

I have access to a computer now so I can write so get ready for disorganized ramblings from me! I know I don't really have many followers here or anything but I think in addition to the usual shitposting I do around here I might like to actual document what I have been going through recently. I came out as no binary almost two years ago and I am just now deciding that I would like to do hrt. I have an upcoming doctors appointment to meet with a specialist in the field. I'm nervous of course and questioning everything in my life because that's just how I'm wired. But I don't really talk about it much. My bestie gets an earful on the regular but there is stuff I haven't even really brought up with her that much. In general I tend to be more of a private person. In my friend group I am the mom, a title I am both proud of and weirded out by. Most days I wonder why people come to me for advice when I spend so much time just rehashing and questioning my own choices lol, Not just my choices even I question my... personhood? I feel so much, different from everyone. I know everyone with even a tenuous grasp of psychology is screaming imposter syndrome right now, I know I know. I have been to many a therapist I know all the labels. But like sometimes I also feel like it comes with the territory to question so much. I mean I can't even pick a gender lol. That's what I question the most these days and what the main focus of this is going to be. My experience with Trans-ing my gender. The closer I get to this appointment the more I start to question my own validity in this space. It makes you wonder like all those people screaming get off TikTok and Tumblr and you'll feel better. What if they are right? What if I am not Trans enough? What if I am taking up valuable space that could be given to another more real Trans person? But then the other side of me says hey logically if you are questioning your gender that much you are Trans enough dork. Cis people don't generally lose sleep over their gender expression. In a seperate but related train of thought I am also worried about what the doctor's reaction, like are they going to deem me Trans enough? Will I pass? It isn't like something you can study for. We will see I guess

[katyspersonal]

Once you get this, you have to say five things you like about yourself, publicly. Then you have to send this to ten of your favorite followers 🖤

Oh dear.... There are WAY more things to adore about me than just five 😎. Alright, I'll pick JUST five, if you insist XD

1) I freakin' LOVE my Lilo Pelekai syndrome about fandom activities! I sometimes resent it, but in the end, I love it. 'Nobody should be left behind' philosophy. I just... don't know, I take pride in always being able to give the special spotlight and caring to even the most neglectable or even unlikeable characters. This ensured the most of my fun in the fandoms, and apparently the girls (gender neutral) like this trait too!

2) I love my resilience. I am not as stubborn as I am like the rock no hammer can break. I hurt a lot but don't crack, I bend but not break. I am like the annoying cockroaches you just can't get rid of. I change but not truly, I get traumatised but always find the resource to go on, and I insist on what I think is right!

3) I love my clairvoyance. I told you guys about how I'd see the dreams about something and it would actually happen, or how I'd share the same dream with someone close if we sleep at the same time, or how I'd 'read the internet in my sleep'. Or how just before something unpredictable happens I'd have the image of it in my head or a voice informing me of it. I still wonder why it happens. Is there something we are yet to learn about how humans as social beings work? Or it is connected with how the time passage is merely an illusion of human perception, and everything that will ever happen already happened? Nonetheless, I enjoy the sense of being allowed to see through the curtains a little more.

4) I love my art. There are things to improve about anatomy and coloration, but I genuinely enjoy it. The details, the nonverbal appraisal of unique features, the color solutions... I feel like my art is a way better expression of how much I love for all unique things, and for everyone to stand out than my words or actions.

5) As follows, I love my face and body, deep down. I have very asymmetrical eyes, a nearly-unibrow, multiple moles everywhere, extremely flat chest and the rips that stick out as if I literally never eat, the small scars in many places, abundant and thick body hair and the giant rodent buck-teeth. I sometimes criticise it very harshly, but this is just the defence mechanism: if I insult myself, everyone else's insults won't hold as much power! But deep down, I love my imperfections, I even cherish them. Would not change them even if I had a chance. I just wish I could combat the harsh criticism, and the fear of my youthful beauty withering.. but this is something I should deal with by myself. I swear I have internalised ageism siphoning away from my self-esteem, and I am yet to accept that the me with wrinkles and weak bones will be just as beautiful as the old women I admire. The thing is, I know I'll be able to do it.

[outeremissary]

9 People You'd Like to Get to Know Better

Tagged by @turbulentpumpkin43. Thanks for thinking of me! I know I haven't been around much (for reasons we don't need to get into), but truly nothing summons me faster than the email notification about a tag game where I know I'm going to have to say something horribly embarrassing about myself.

Three Ships: I mean, if we're counting stuff with OCs then obviously anyone following my knows Balthazar and Tristian (and the wonderful polycule with Vio) is my number one. Aside from that, the latest volume of Witch Hat has fully converted me into an Agott/Coco true believer. I actually did like the Coco/Tarteh vibe but Agott's special brand of slowly changing rival just has me by the throat. Aside from that? Ummm. Elliot and Leo from Pandora Hearts? Does that count? I did my full reread of Pandora Hearts while afk in September and those two have had me since like 2012 or 2013 or whenever they were introduced in the English release. But now that I'm older and more mature I can better appreciate what the messy later arcs had to give, and that's the beauty of a relationship between equals corrupted by a growing imbalance no one has the strength to acknowledge and devotion so deep it tears both of their lives apart. That's awesome. 11/10, everyone read Pandora Hearts and I'm not even joking

First Ever Ship: Gamers, back in early 2012 when I was in middle school and could only see images on the computer at school because searching for anything visual online was mega bad for rural internet, a friend of mine used a science classroom computer to discover you could find non-canon images of The Legend of Zelda if you searched terms like "Link blue" and scrolled down a couple rows. I distinctly remember this as the first ever time I really understood the concept of "fan art," and more importantly as my entry into fandom as we all began to realize many of these came from the same site: a place called "DeviantArt." Some of these contained such salacious and unthinkable things as two boys holding hands and blushing, and also both of those boys were Link. I was so captivated by these mysterious images that I followed them to their Four Swords Adventures manga RP fandom source, where I am not proud to say the first "ship" I adopted as such was Vio (Violet Link for people who spent their time doing better things at thirteen) and Shadow (Shadow Link, of course). That's right, everyone! It was edgy Link selfcest yaoi between a traitor and an angsty villain all the way down!!! And you know what? When I write that I don't think my taste has changed. Except the selfcest. Mostly.

The other, more respectable first ship I remember not long after that was Ulquihime. What can I say, there's just something about the Stockholm syndrome of it all.

Last Song: No title - REOL. Narrowly missed this being edgy early Vocaloid. I've been revisiting old favorites recently.

Last Movie: I'm pretty sure it was Surf's Up. For whatever reason my friend decided we should rewatch it when I visited him a few weeks ago. Holds up better than it should, but I've rewatched it twice in little over a year and truly that is my Surf's Up limit. That trip was also when my friend forced me to watch Barbie and the D&D movie. Look at me catching up on relevant pop culture only for fucking Surf's Up to be what made this list.

Currently Reading: I'm pretty sure this came up last time, but because I haven't gotten started on a better book since then I'm unfortunately still periodically chipping at The Thousand Deaths of Ardor Benn. This book fucking sucks. Don't read it. If we could manga and stories that are actually good I recently did a Witch Hat Atelier reread after getting volume 11!!! That volume is. So painfully personal.

Currently Watching: Cyberpunk: Edgerunners and Jujutsu Kaisen season 2. JJK is with my friend for weekly hangout, but Edgerunners is a solo endeavor because it was bumming him out way too much. Good show though. Also JJK was way more of a bummer than expected in ways that caught me off guard??? I'm not getting over what happened to that girl, I really got fucking got by that scene. Jesus

Currently Consuming: Nothing. Just finished dinner, where I had a chicken sandwich and fries. I need groceries. It's dire.

Currently Craving: doing something creative, but that would require moving the giant zine pile on my chair........ this is how I'm procrastinating

I'm sorry, but I'm actually not tagging anyone on this tonight! I haven't been on enough lately to know who has or hasn't done it, and frankly I'm not ready to be back on Tumblr enough to map that out. If you're seeing this and want to do it, please go ahead and do it. Tag me like I tagged you, we are collaborators in this and I want to see what you say.

[lavenoon]

13

???

Ah, yes, the totally innocuous question, simply spelling "Fears?"

This may be prank revenge for me doing the same, but I'm still gonna answer genuinely!

But also ah good lord there are many. There's anxiety up here! Standard stuff related to rsd and imposter syndrome, what if I'm not good enough, what if I'm just one mistake away from being abandoned, what if I'm more tolerated than genuinely appreciated, etc etc. I know those are wrong though! And I'm in a good spot mentally right now, where I barely even think like that, and even when I do I am surrounded by love that proves me otherwise!

There's also irl fears I am not going to go into, stuff with my family and health scares and whatnot, that still messes with my head even now that things are calmer

Mostly right now I fear falling behind. I feel like I'm stuck/ not moving forward, while the fandom has so many new things that I can't seem to get into, and it feels like drifting into obscurity kind of? Some of it is my own "fault" - I indulge more in self insert stuff than work on my own AU, no wonder people lose interest! But I also just struggle to read and lag behind a lot, and there's so many new fics and AUs and it feels like too much to keep up with, and like people are moving on to those. I know I shouldn't feel obligated to follow along with everything, but when it's a struggle to keep up with friend stuff, and near impossible to get into new AUs/ fics it just feels like I'm somehow doing fandom wrong. Kinda working on just chilling tf out and get rid of the FOMO, I have my friends and that's the most important part! The fun I have I owe to them (you, if we stop pretending I don't know it's you, Meep <3) and I'm so happy I get to share silly thoughts and stories with them all <3

[blazehedgehog]

Got a top 5 or 10 most wanted Fortnite skins?

I've been playing Fortnite regularly since 2019. I've had every Battle Pass since Chapter 2. I get free currency daily for having a Fortnite Founders Pass (hence why I have every Battle Pass).

I am drowning in so many skins that the 100 locker presets Epic gives you is nowhere near enough. Every time I get or buy a new skin, I have to make the hard decision of what I can safely replace.

It actually genuinely influences my spending habits because I'll think, "I've wanted this guy for a long time, but I don't feel like deleting anything for him."

If you mean: are there any skins not in Fortnite that I really want? I don't know if I can answer that. Partially because of what I just described, but partially also because of "Santa's Lap Syndrome" where I'm sure I've said "oh I want that in Fortnite" but now I cannot for the life of me remember a single thing.

Following through on Samus would be nice, I guess. It seems like she was really close to releasing and then got held up at the last second. There's a fair amount of evidence in her favor (but this post is long enough as it is), and I was all prepped an ready to buy her back when I thought she was right around the corner.

As for skins already in the game, I can just skim a list to tell you that.

Envoy. She's priced cheap and I think she's cute.

I'd love to have Calamity, but she's a battle pass and as such will never rerun. She's just a cool cowgirl and has lots of alt styles.

I've come very close to buying ISO and her male counterpart. They're actually in the shop as I'm writing this. FIGHTING POLYGON TEAM

Sandshark Driver reminds me of Gum from Jet Set Radio. That's enough for me.

Mezmer is another guy I've come EXTREMELY close because I think his mask is rad.

I think Peekaboo's juggalo/goth clown alt is hilarious but I've never been able to bite the bullet and buy her.

The Joker is fun but he's always a real money skin and he's only sold in a pack with other stuff for like $30. Barf.

Mariana looks super cool but I wonder how visible she is at night.

Trog was a Battle Pass skin so he's gone forever.

I like Errant because you can apply gun wraps to his armor, giving him hundreds of customization options. But I own another skin that functions somewhat similarly.

Silver Surfer just looks cool.

I have Deadpool, so the other X-Force members just make sense, like Domino and Cable.

I regret not being on the ball enough to get this Playstation Blue variant of Versa. (it was free for PS+ subs) Vanilla Versa is definitely a "one day when I have enough vbucks to spare, I'll buy her."

The Classic Storm Trooper is also just a good in that "I always had this skin in Quake 3" way.

Blackheart is another Battle Pass skin I would die for. Blackheart/Blakebeard is one of THE best characters in STW, Fortnite's campaign mode. AND HE HAS GHOST PIRATE STYLES

Dire is yet another Battle Pass skin I missed. He was the Halloween skin one year and is basically just a cool werewolf, and you can toggle how far in to the transformation he is.

Spider Knight is just a cool looking... uh, Knight. Really, I also want his glider, which is a giant flying black widow spider. But the skin looks great, too.

I've come very close to buying Ghost Rider.

I've waffled back and forth on Rustler because I don't know how much value there is for me personally in just going "hur hur it's my little pony." It's still funny it exists, though.

I've thought about getting the OG Beef Boss, but I already own a couple of other variants, so it's less important now. Same for Tomato Tom.

They put a freakin Gundam Wing parody (Sentinel) in the Battle Pass and it is maybe my #1 regret not having it.

Sometimes I want Crackshot, but I have a friend who uses him pretty often, so it'd be kind of weird? (Another STW all-star character)

When I first started playing, Moisty Merman was the top of my most-wanted list. Now I've wondered if I still care.

Deadfire is in the same camp as Calamity as far as "cool cowboys" go, but this guy is also a phantom cowboy. Double cool!

Order Remnant is the same category as Envoy where he's not very expensive and I just like the way he looks.

Madcap is a fun concept for a character and I like his colors.

A World War 1 gas mask guy is a weird thing to see in Fortnite, and that's the entire reason I want Sky Stalker.

I don't like Chiara's default (with the silver paint), but I love her alt.

I didn't love Kill Bill, but something about Siren is still cool.

Taskmaster is like The Joker where I'd like to have him, but he's in an expensive real-money pack and no thanks.

Eternal Voyager was a Battle Pass skin from the season before I started playing regularly and he's awesome. That skull alt...

...Honestly? That's a lot more than I expected. And I'm probably forgetting or missing some. For comparison, here's a (also probably incomplete) list of all the skins I already own.

If I had to boil it down to a top ten most wanted, I'd say: Chiara, Versa, Mezmer, Ghost Rider, Sky Stalker, Taskmaster, Madcap, Deadfire, Domino and ISO, I guess.