#Many many thoughts that are mostly: I'm about to be so annoying and make so many OCs

[ozonecologne]

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[yellow-faerie]

Avari Headcanons

(I believe @electroniccollectiondonut @adhd-edward-teach and @someoneinthestars showed interest :))

So, this is somewhere between a meta and me being entirely self indulgent - however, I want to share with you all my Headcanons for how the six tribes of the Avari function (and also how I write them when I do)!

(Everything underneath because it did get rather long)

So firstly, I looked at good old Tolkien Gateway page for the Avari. Most of the page describes things that are in the published silm, that the Avari were the elves who refused the Valar's summons and went their own way. I don't have all the relevant HoME books that are referenced in regards to Nurwë and Morwë and a few other bits, but I shall trust that Tolkien Gateway is reputable. (I'll link any character pages, if you wanted to check out anything for yourself).

So from what I gather, Nurwë was of the Nelyar and Morwë was of the Tatyar before the Great March. And there were two particular groups of Avari - those who refused the summons and those who lived far enough away from Cuiviénen that they did not truly believe the summons to be real/not a ploy by the Enemy.

Now with the Nelyar being greater in number than the Tatyar, I'd imagine spreading out would be more likely for them and so how I imagine the initial split of the Avari to go is like this:

Morwë is vehement and stubborn (a trait of the Nelyar in particular) that they do not need the Valar and he and Finwë, being respected members of their clan (and possibly even cousins), end up splitting the Tatyar (who love much closer together than the Nelyar due to being a smaller clan) in two - those who are willing to go and those who aren't.

Finwë obviously leads the newly named Ñoldor West and, almost to be contrary and also because Morwë accepts that Cuiviénen is becoming more dangerous to live at as time goes on, Morwë's people move East, walking until they come upon a shore far beyond the control of Morgoth.

This group of people would later be known as the Hwenti. It says on the Gateway page, quoting from HoME, that the Avari were distrustful of the Eldar - which I headcanon mostly to be because of their distrust of the Valar in general - but the Tatyarin Avari (under Morwë) were said to dislike the Noldor most, which stems a lot from this argument and rather eventful severing on the banks of Cuiviénen.

Now the names of the Avari tribes is interesting (and there's a link here to an interesting short article on the linguistics of them) because they appear to be variations on the Primitive Elvish word Kwendî which means 'the Speakers' - which is the way that elves refer to themselves.

So the question I've asked myself is - do the Avari refer to their tribes using their words for the Elvish collective (which seems strange) or is this a misinterpretation by another elvish scholar - as Watsonian reasoning, of course - which lead to the Elvish tribes being referred to by these names in Valinorean records?

I think it's more likely to be the latter as elves - even back in Cuiviénen - seem to have a distinct interest in having names that describe who they are in some way.

But back to Morwë: his people are called the Hwenti by Valinorean records but they called themselves Alacínos. Better linguists than me could develop this using the rules that the word Hwenti would bring to the Tribe's language, but it is meant to vaguely mean People of Protection (which is a bit of a fuck you to the Tatyar who left for Valinor, a way of saying they are perfectly fine without the Valar's protection.

On a note about the Avari languages: due to the fact that I am not at all a linguist, I'm just vaguely interested in it's development, and due to the fact that I have No Time in my life right now, I am using some of Tolkien's much older languages that he didn't develop too much.

For Morwë's tribe, I am using the Solosimpi language as it is a bit less developed than Gnomish - which I use for Nurwë's tribe - and I write less for Morwë's Avari. It's a purely practical use and not the most ideal solution but I don't know enough about linguistics to even think about starting to conlang the Avari languages.

Now Morwë's tribe is pretty much happy where it is: they grow their settlements all along that Eastern coast until they're a fairly large tribe as they are relatively undisturbed by Morgoth (who is either captured by this point or else, too distracted by the West) and don't have many other worries.

They are by no means experts on the sea but they become very good at glass making and farming mussels and other shellfish and other beach-like things, as well as getting to know the terrain close to the coast as well.

They are very much crafters, like the rest of the Tatyar though, so a lot of their interest springs from there (hence the glass-making: later on, they will be renowned for their glassmaking skills throughout all the Quendi). Not yet worked out all the ins and outs of the coastal crafts, but they definitely happen!

The Alacínos end up living by the coast for pretty much the rest of the world. They partly integrate with Men when they come (there are a lot of peredhil on the East Coast) but for the most part, they live separately in their small settlements quite happily. Some may fade or succumb to injury but for the most part, they are content.

However, some of the younger elves - lead by an elf by the name Aiwala, and Morwë's granddaughter-in-law - are curious about the West and grew restless in their haven on the coast sometime after the sun rose. So Aiwala - a very good public speaker - took a group of the younger elves (a fairly sizeable portion of the Alacínos) and started the journey West.

Now travelling was inherently a lot more dangerous than staying on the coast. They are aiming for Cuiviénen, hoping to follow their ancient kinsmen to the land in the West but they never make it - instead, they find themselves near the southern end of a mountain range.

At the north of this mountain range is where the Stonefoots reside and to the south is where the Blacklocks, and it is the Blacklocks that end up finding the bedraggled group of elves at their front doorstep.

The elves were taken in for the winter and then they just...didn't leave. The dwarves were an entirely new people and the Avari got rather interested in them - they lived in the land around the mountains, providing food and other natural things the dwarves were uninclined to producing and they created a sort of symbiotic relationship that's unaffected by the issues the West have.

I like to think that due to this inclination towards the dwarves, which Eöl is said to have, that this is a tribe Eöl originated from somehow. Not that he is a good example of any group of people, and this also would not explain how he is a kinsman of Thingol.

Aiwala's tribe is the Penni and I imagine that their language is both influenced by the Alacínos, Khuzdul and also general linguistic drift. As for their collective name, I think it would be something along the lines of dwarf-friends - I'm tempted by a name that means Mountain Friends or Mountain People - but as their language is so far non-existent to me, I shall have to continue to refer to them as the Penni.

The Penni continue to live there well into the third and fourth ages but with how much time they had spent around mortals, and as their dwarven neighbours started to spend more and more time beneath ground, the Penni started to fade.

Some found themselves wandering West towards the call of Mandos and the heart of Elvendom (or something), others found themselves wandering back to the East from whence they came and the rest stayed put until they had all but faded from memory.

It is said by the Men who dwell in the area in the modern day that the place is haunted by laughing spirits who will guide you on the safest path through the mountains and will lead dangerous animals from your path, but only if you're respectful of the land.

Again, this is kind of playing off the idea of fading, and dying for elves in general. If fading is like what Míriel Therindë did, then it is much more like dying than what this seems like, but as the Avari are so tied to the land, I like to believe that a lot of them choose to ignore the Call of Mandos for quite a while (if not forever) to dwell as ghosts.

Anyway, that's pretty much the host of Morwë. As for Nurwë, she ends up spawning the other four clans.

Initially, after the Eldar had gone West and Morwë had gone East, Nurwë and the rest of the Avari stay on the banks of Cuiviénen. It's quite dangerous as Morgoth's still sort of out there hunting them - at least, even if Morgoth is captured, he still has lackeys doing his job on the downlow - but they make do until there is a proper all-out fight and they are forced to leave.

Nurwë leads them north with her sons Nunë and Nuin, and their sister Niwen and once they finally settle in these very northern forests, the people scatter again into small groups, only occasionally coming back to Nurwë's forest stronghold when they are in need of something.

These are the Kindi, who refer to themselves as Parnoth in their own tongue. It means People Who Speak to Trees or something similar (and I used Tolkien's old language of Gnomish to get the words). The Tree Speak is important as this is how the very spread out Parnoth communicate with each other - they are very close with the Ents of this forest who are all Evergreen Ents as the forest is something like the forests you might find in Alaska or one of the poles.

Anyway, it turns out that while this new forest hideout is good at hiding from Morgoth, it's not the ideal for hiding from the elements and so there are two definite drifts away from Nurwë in the time after they settle in the forest.

The first, before the sun rose, was one led by Nunë after Niwen was killed by a small group of orcs who had found their forest and her daughter, Idralas, was taken by them into thralldom.

(By the way, Idralas is what spawned this whole series of headcanons because I wanted a cultural background for the thralls of Angband so I could develop her relationship with Maedhros as his right hand)

Nunë takes this small group West for two reasons: one, to search for safety among their kin and perhaps even take the Valar's protection (as they do not yet know of what occurred with the Eldar); and two, to perhaps be able to rescue their stolen kin from Morgoth's hands.

This group of Avari is the Cuind, although I think their name for themselves would be West Wanderers or West Wandering People (although, again, not sure what sort of word that'd look like).

It should be noted that the Gateway page for the Tatyar says that it is Avari of Tatyarin descent who arrive in Beleriand during the First Age, not those of Nelyarin descent. However, I have elected to ignore this because it developed differently in my head - I did want to point this out though, in case someone wanted to argue with me over this.

They don't have a set place where they live and drift in and out of other Elven society in the search for a way to rescue their kin. They are only a small group and they end up - for the most part - integrating into other parts of society. For example, Nunë's daughters Crinthammos and Lindwil, end up married to Caranthir and Orodreth respectively.

However, they do have a language! It's a disgusting amalgamation of Quenya, their mother tongue of Parthin and Sindarin which they use for communications between each other (mostly in letter form) as they can no longe rely on the trees for communication as they don't all live in the same forest anymore.

Later on, a fair few of them who remained end up travelling East again to join up with the remains of the Parnoth, who had moved to join the Nandor in the Greenwood.

However, before the Parnoth moved, there was another split that occurred. The people known as the Kinn-Lai, led by Nuin, moved South-East, hoping to find Morwë and their kin out there (in a similar fashion to Nunë's decision to move). I like the idea of them being called Hisildi (Twilight Elves) as that is what Nuin and Tû's people were called in the BoLT.

There are quite a lot more of them following Nuin than followed Nunë as there is not a lot of trust in the Valar/west in most of the Avari and so they are slower going (and also remain spread out - it is apparently custom for the Nelyar to meander and split up on a regular basis).

Nuin is in some sort of relationship with the wayward Maia Tû, which is also gives him a bit more political clout over his brother.

Nuin is the one who wakes the first of the Men up (despite Tû's warning) and so, for a while, the Hisildi stay with the Men. Due to this close proximity to Men, their (initial) language is very closely linked with the early Mannish ones.

There is a definite drift away though as the Men drift off in their different directions. Most of the Hisildi go off in their own family groups, becoming the wanderers that a lot of Valinorean scholars say all Avari are, particularly as Morgoth's influence picks up and he sends his darkness out past the Blue Mountains.

A small subsect of the elves (later called the Windan), led by Tinfang (Tû and Nuin's child), goes together to hide in the small valleys from Morgoth's influence. They called themselves Banathin, which meant Half Burrow, for their houses where made partly in the ground, almost like a rabbit's burrow. They find themselves there with the remaining petty dwarves and with wayward men and over the years, they all rather disappear.

With the exception of Tinfang and a few of the older elves who had died early on due to misfortune or bad luck, no-one knows what happened to them and their language, one that developed a lot with Mannish and a few Dwarven loans added in, is known to very few.

It should be noted that around the mid to late second age, nearly an age after the Banathin went missing, the first few rare sightings of the people known as Hobbits was recorded. There language, Westron, closely resembled something that might have once been the language of the Banathin. There houses, too, had a tendency to burrow in the ground.

Anyway! That's the six clans for you! If anyone has any questions, please feel free to ask, I am always happy to answer questions about the things I love!

[brittlebutch]

one of the many reasons Aabria is such a good GM is because of the very keen eye she keeps on the social dynamics and interactions that happens at the table and i absolutely Love her for it

[eunimaybe]

⟡ ── after an argument

hyung line x fem. reader | what they do to apologise after an argument

genre: fluff, est. relationship | wc. 0.9k ♡ a/n: this is my first writing ever so i'm not sure it's good but support is appreciated!! <3

lee heeseung

"y/n, i'm sorry."

even though it had been your boyfriend's apology you had so desperately wanted, you found yourself tilting your position ever so slightly away from him. you were still not ready to forgive him completely, not after the argument you two had yesterday. it was going to take much more than a simple sorry to win back your heart. the words he had said had been hurtful, and the day had been filled with tension that had only just eased a bit by heeseung's apology. — more under cut!

"y/n, please, i'm sorry for what i said yesterday. i know it was wrong of me. i don't know what i was thinking, saying stuff like that." heeseung tried again, resting his warm hand on your shoulder.

it was the tone of his voice that made you soften. you could tell he truly felt bad for what had happened. when heeseung noticed that you weren't shrugging his hand off, he immediately engulfed you in a hug, giving you soft pecks on your cheek.

"i'm so sorry, baby." he mumbled against the fabric of your hoodie, his chest pressed against your back and his faced buried behind in the crook of your neck. you leaned into his soft touch, smiling despite yourself and he murmured sweet nothings in your ear.

park jongseong

you were startled by the warmth of jay's presence as he stood close behind you, lifting your hair up gently before putting a necklace around your neck without a word.

"jay? what are you doing?" you asked, placing a hand on the necklace he had just clasped on, trying to get a look at it.

"it's a gift for you," jay said quietly, his touch lingering for a few seconds even after he was done with the necklace as if he was scared to let go. "i felt so bad for yelling at you last night. i'm so sorry love, i shouldn't have done that."

you had already forgiven jay for what he had said last night, though you hadn’t told him directly. it had mostly been your fault but you had still gotten mad at your boyfriend.

you saw a glimpse of a flash of gold from the reflection of the window, and you turned to face jay. "you didn't have to do that. it was my fault, bringing it up after such a long time when you were tired."

jay bent down to your height, giving you a warm smile before kissing you on the forehead, his hands around your waist.

"anything for my princess."

sim jaeyun

even though you had your back turned to your boyfriend jake, still annoyed about the petty little argument you two had had that morning, jake was clinging onto you more than ever. he had his arms around you, rambling random things and apologies over and over again. the topics varied, from funny anecdotes and random thoughts and he had said at least a million apologies.

“jake, i’m still mad. like really, really mad. and it doesn’t matter how many puppy eyes you give me because it’s not going to work.”

jake snuggled up even closer to you, and you tried to push him away, but he persisted. “i’m sorry, y/n, i’m very, very sorry.”

you smiled despite yourself, turning your head away so he wouldn’t be able to see the way the corners of your lips were curling up without permission. “i’m still angry.”

you could practically imagine jake’s pout and the kind of expression he was making.

“come on y/n, i’m sorry i ate your chocolate ice cream, i’ll buy you a new one today, i promise. i’ll buy you two.”

when he got no response from you, he hugged you a little bit tighter before tickling you, making you laugh.

"okay," you gasped between laughs, trying to get away from jake. "okay, but you better buy me that ice cream."

park sunghoon

when you arrived home, still upset about the argument you had had with your boyfriend sunghoon last night, you found a small white box waiting for you on your desk. it was carefully wrapped, laced ribbons and all. curious to see what it was, you put down your bag and unravelled the ribbon and gently opened the box lid to find rows of chocolate wrapped in pretty silver wrappers and a little note written in sunghoon’s handwriting. 

an apology note.

perhaps this was sunghoon's way of saying to sorry to you, your shy yet caring boyfriend. it was rather sweet, and you felt your anger melt away.

you immediately dialled his number on your phone, and it barely rang before he picked up. perhaps he had been waiting for your call, and that made you smile.

“uhm, i got the chocolate you left for me,” you said, reading the note he had written. “thank you, and i’m sorry for getting mad at you yesterday, i know you have a lot going on right now.”

hearing sunghoon’s soft voice at the end of the line was comforting. “you shouldn’t apologise, i yelled at you for no reason. enjoy the chocolates, i’ll be back soon. um, i love you.”

you smiled as you bit into the chocolate. "love you too. give me lots of kisses when you come back. i miss you.”

[rosesnbooks]

Astrology observations #5🖤

🌜I wrote these for fun, based on how i see these placements. i'm not a professional! hope you enjoy these🌛

⭐cancer placements allow themselves to feel their emotions. they may get annoyed by the intensity or the amount of them, but they process them fully, and this makes it easier for them to move on. random thought but writing letters to people they like may be something they do or did as kids haha. they're very romantic

⭐some aries venuses have obsessive tendencies when they have a crush, and they get frustrated a lot if they think they can't/shouldn't pursue them. they enjoy the tension, but they don't want it to last too long because they dislike not being in control, and having feelings for someone leaves them feeling too vulnerable. that's why they try to move on if they can, but it takes work. when they do find someone, they become really clingy but they still need freedom when it suits them

⭐mars in libra avoid conflicts and try to be reasonable about everything, but if they think you crossed a line, you'll see why aries is their sister sign pretty soon. once they tell you off, you'll never see them the same way, so underrestimate them at your cost

⭐having stelliums can be interesting. it for sure puts a lot of emphasis on the influence of that house on your life, and i found that it can be both positive and negative since they face lots of challenges related to their house but also many blessings. those who have stelliums kind of embody multiple characteristics simultaneously

⭐sun in the 11th people glow when they are with their closest friends. they also tend to dream big and care a lot about the world. their friends usually help them in their future goals. they feel a bit different than people in their hometown/country, mostly because they cannot be tied down to a single culture because they enjoy different things, which usually makes them quite open-minded and tolerant. they can be picky about the people they let in super close though

⭐mars in the 6th can procrastinate a lot actually, but they get things done. may get sudden waves of high energy and get things done rapidly and extensively. they expect a lot from themselves regarding their ambitions and aspirations. they try to improve themselves in any way most of the time, but they should also accept their current state if they want to evolve and love themselves. they need to watch out for their moral perfectionism too. it's okay to make mistakes as long as you apologise and strive to change for the better

⭐i've found that virgo mercuries can be really direct, even if they are shy or don't talk much around strangers or acquaintances, they have their moments. super funny too

⭐north node in cancer struggle with accepting their vulnerable side. they hate feeling like things and people can evoke strong emotions in them. they want to be more detached, but those that work on themselves find it very rewarding once they embrace their strong emotions. they can also be really reliable, practical, and thoughtful

⭐fire+water combinations in birth charts-i am sending you a hug. i know exactly how difficult it is to keep all those emotions under check, and that you need a lot of understanding and rest to function. use those emotions and passions well hun, you are strong and capable. you have a lot of empathy and wonder inside of you

⭐capricorn sun/mercury have a dry way of texting. their humor is difficult to read via text and they simply are not fans of texting, and it shows lol

⭐aries mercuries are not always available online and they may come and go when they're online, but they'll answer all of your messages one by one with lots of enthusiasm. they also like to send memes and joke around a lot

⭐virgo mercuries are not fans of texting and they can answer you after a couple of days or so even if they really like you. similarly to aries, they'll make sure they answer everything and they also pay attention to every detail you mention. very sweet really. their humor shines brighter in person

⭐taurus moon are very capable. they may prefer rest over anything else, but their patience and dedication to the things they need to do is really cool. they are calm most of the time so it's nice to be around them, just don't disrespect them and everyone will thrive

⭐taurus venus men can be really possessive. even if you like such behavior, some can go to extremes and try to control how you feel, think, and behave. they have a specific image of an ideal partner and they want you to fulfill it

⭐libra venus tend to care about how they look and present themselves so they put lots of effort into that. they also have standards when it comes to beauty and some expect others to dress and look well, whether they know them or not

⭐women with venus in aquarius-you may be attracted to men who are mysterious and act like they're special. just be careful because there are so many toxic ones out there who want a relationship but not truly, because they don't want to dedicate themselves to you and maybe plan on using you

⭐pisces moon can feel like they're drowning in their own emotions sometimes because they cannot control them easily and they tend to give in. if they like to portray themselves as a martyr these emotions can get out of hand because they let those emotions lead them which influences their mental health and relationships. those who are developed process these emotions and try to figure them out and let them pass. they can learn a lot about themselves and others this way. creative outlets can be of help to process this

⭐leo moon need to watch out for hurting people when their ego is hurt because they can lash out and make lots of damage. take a second to think whether it's worth it or not, since there is no point in trying to "win" in a fight with someone you love

⭐pisces mars can be too forgiving, especially to those they care about. don't let people walk over you dear, no matter who they are. nobody deserves that kind of treatment

thank you for reading!🤍i also offer paid astrology readings, so check out my blog for more info

©rosesnbooks

[nocturnowlette]

I accidentally revealed a little experiment I was doing to my subject, today, so I finally get to tell you all about it.

I honestly didn't think that covert hypnotic triggers were a thing due to the constant annoying mysticism and years of bad science around hypnosis, as well as stuff like subliminals having absolutely zero actual effects. However, with some testing, I have been delightfully surprised.

To be clear, by a covert trigger, I do not mean a trigger that was given under trance explicitly then had the subject forget or be unaware of when used. I mean a trigger that is installed, reinforced, and used entirely without the subject noticing. It'd be more accurate to call this a preconscious trigger, but the linguistic gods disagree, I suppose.

I decided to use my favorite subject, and someone I'm close with in many ways. I've already trained general obedience into her over time, but have always allowed her to be rebellious because it's fun for the both of us. However...

There's a phrase I liked to use on occasion during trance and outside of it when I'm being a little gently degrading: the phrase, "Isn't that right?" at the end of sentences. Leading questions are natural for gentle domination, and I had already been doing it, so I decided to use it a little bit more often, and with intention.

For about two weeks straight, while under trance and while training general obedience or otherwise while messing with them, I would go, "Isn't that right?" exclusively for questions that were an absolute yes. There's no reason she wouldn't say yes to it, and so, she did, every single time.

The next week or two, I would start peppering in the phrase for slight disagreements. That's to say, things that were a yes, but something that she'd make a small fuss about normally to be rebellious. To my surprise, any time I used the phrase, all rebellion seemed to stop. I actually thought she caught on and was doing it intentionally, but she didn't respond when I signaled that to her.

A few weeks later, after more and more reinforcement, to the point where it was a very common part of my everyday vocabulary, I was able to completely quell any fire she brought up. I would do a short explanation or rationalization, then end the sentence with, "Isn't that right?", and poof, the rebellion goes away.

I accidentally revealed it today as stated due to showing a list of notes I used to keep track of triggers for subjects, but luckily, by the time she found out, it was one of the most potent triggers I had for her. It still works just fine.

Before she did find out, I finally got to hear what she sounded like after all the training when I said it out loud, as I mostly reinforced it via text. It sounded like her voice turned droopy and monotone entirely and only for when she agreed, then went back to normal. It was really, really cute, and I had to stifle a giggle or two.

Luckily, I didn't write down the other few covert triggers I have for her. I'll be having fun with those for a good while longer.

[party-snake]

hi…. could i perhaps request a small one shot in which sebastian immediately develops a crush on some poor diver who just crawled through his vent? and he’s like all shy and shit? thank you :)

Certainly! Thanks for requesting :)

Cupid's arrow

Sebastian x Fem! Reader

Tw: The request and reponse will serve as your warning. Idiots in love.

oh... oh no. Sebastian promised himself he wouldn't get attached to any expendables. They're just prisoners. Some of them annoying pests who just want to flash him with that damn light beacon.

But you. You were different. The moment you stepped in his shop, you never flashed him. You even bought all his items. You never dared to say anything mean or degrading to him.

He chuckles as he slides the file over to you. "That wasn't exactly a staring contest. What were you doing?" The chair creaks as you slump foward, putting your head in your hands and pouting. "I wanted to look at the pretty shark." That made his heart skip a beat.

He scoffs and leans foward, tapping a claw on the bit of text. "Are you just ignoring the part where she is hostile to all humans?" You huff. "But I wanna look at her!" He rolls his eyes at that. "Look. Don't tell anyone this, but i'll give you a freebie."

You look taken aback for a moment before he frowns. "Take it before I change my mind." You nod quickly and were gone as soon as you came. he takes the moment as a second to breathe. 'Holy shit. So cute.' Thoughts race through his head, mostly of you.

A few minutes pass and he's back in his shop, adjusting his items. "Hi Seb." You say suddenly, catching him off guard. "Jesus- don't scare me like that. How'd you... you were so quiet." You simply nod. He straightens out, weaving his hands together. "Well, uh. What are you here for?" Browsing his wares, you spot a blacklight.

"Blacklight?" You ask. The shopkeeper nods. "Not many of those left. It doesn't anger the squiddles." You make a 'ohhh' face and pick it up, examining it. He chuckles at your cute face and just kinda... stares at you.

He snaps out of it when you wave your hand infront of him. "Seb? You okay?" He shakes his head. "Huh? Wha- Yup." He stutters horribly, cursing at himself. You smirk. "You sure?" You put your hands behind your back and step foward. He puts his hand over his face to block you out.

"Yup. T-Totally fine." You decide to drop it. "How much?" He looks down at you. "Huh?" You snicker and point at the blacklight in your hand. "For this." He looks dumbfounded for a few seconds before responding. "How about... 250. A discount, just for y-you."

"Really?" Stars form in your eyes and his brain stutters for a moment. "Yup." You fork over the data and stuff the blacklight in your bag. "Thanks Seb!" The only sound left in the shop was the thumps from the vent as you made your way out. He puts a clawed hand over his face as breathes, trying to calm his racing heart.

Your laughs, Your manners, the way you didn't immediately try and insult him. It meant more than you thought. He takes a deep breath and sighs, running his hand through his hair. He promised himself he wouldn't get attached, wouldn't grow crushes. But everytime he thinks of you, he smiles like an idiot in love. Oh well...

Sorry this is really short! (at least to my standards) my brain refuses to work apparently, so I forced it. Also sorry if it's shit. I'm tired. 😔

[wileys-russo]

Emily fox, “you’re quite intimidating you know”, night club/team night out

e.fox II intimidating

"why don't you just go and say hello, she doesn't bite!" lotte teased, nudging her friend who blushed red and elbowed her. "we've spoken before!" emily defended with a huff and a roll of her eyes.

"yeah at training, 'i'm open on your left!' hardly counts as a conversation." alessia chimed in on her other side, the three tar heels squished together on a lounge chair, the entire team out for the night to bond before everyone was due to head away to portugal, captains orders.

"em, you've been here for two weeks man and you've said about ten words to the girl! i don't get it, she's lovely." lotte pushed again nodding in your direction where you were stood at the bar laughing at something kyra said, shoving her head away from you.

"why are you two being so bossy! there is an entire team for me to bond me." emily gestured around to the multitude of mostly blondes gathered around the little area they'd booked off for dinner and a few drinks.

"exactly, but there is only one forward that you keep avoiding like the plague." alessia grinned knowingly. "is that maybe because you think she's fit." lotte teased, poking at the brunette who huffed.

"no! we don't say fit anyway, thats so english." emily pulled a face and sipped on her drink. "i hate to remind that you now...live in england." lotte laughed with a shake of her head.

"sorry. do you just think she's so hot?" alessia chimed in again with a horrendous attempt at an american accent. "not the valley girl voice." emily sighed with a shake of her head.

"i don't even know her! you're both idiots." emily insisted finishing her drink. "well you clearly want to know her. you're always glancing at her, watching her from afar, blushing when she smiles at you. since when are you so shy around pretty girls foxy!" lotte grinned as the american buried her face in her hands.

"what is this? haze the new girl?" emily grunted with a roll of her eyes. "she's very single, you're very single. we're not telling you to get on one knee, but you can't avoid her all season." alessia laughed before a new look settled across her face.

"no less don't give me that, i know that look. thats your meddling look!" the american groaned, having seen it many times throughout their time at college together.

"me? meddle? i don't know what you mean." alessia gasped in mock offence, sliding away from them and standing to her feet. "less where are you going? less? less!" the american defender whisper shouted to the blonde who pointed to her empty glass and pouted, but headed right over to you.

"next rounds on you less? thats so kind!" kyra cheered in greeting, slinging an arm around the blonde as you chuckled at your national teammate. "kyra stop being a pest for thirty seconds would you? shoo!" you gestured with your hands as the younger girl scowled and flipped you off but slunk away to find someone else to annoy.

"what are you drinking?" alessia smiled, bumping her shoulder into yours and nodding down to the lack of a drink in your hand. "water." you winked in return as the blonde pulled a face.

"boring! tomorrow is a day off. i thought australians knew how to drink?" alessia teased, waving over the bartender and respecting your wishes none the less.

"this ones emily's. i'm dying for the toilet, can you take it over to her for me?" alessia asked nodding down to the other drink she'd ordered, basically running away before you could even say something.

"typical." you sighed, dodging kyra who tried to steal the other drink and making a beeline for your newest teammate. "hey i need to speak to leah about something, be right back." lotte interrupted her friend mid conversation, emily frowning at the sudden way she stood and hurried off.

"hey!" but her face paled and eyes widened as you smiled down at her, offering her the other drink in your hand. "less got it for you, ditched me with it at the bar though." you rolled your eyes playfully and raised an eyebrow when the american didn't make a move.

"its not poisoned, you can drink it." you teased, but the friendly demeanor faded as emily tried desperately to make her brain and mouth match up, only able to open and close it wordlessly.

"okay...i'll just leave this here for you then." you frowned, slowly placing it on the table in front of her with a smile that this time didn't meet your eyes as you turned to leave.

"no wait! please sit." emily finally found her words as you hesitated for a second and she slid over slightly, gesturing to the space beside her. though as you sat down and she grabbed the drink with a quiet thank you, the uncomfortable silence returned.

"you know i think those four words are the most i've heard you speak. i thought americans were supposed to have big personalities?" you tried again with a slight teasing tone, leaving the space open for if she'd jump in.

"well i thought australians were known for drinking!" emily tried with an awkward smile as you shook your head. "why does everyone think that? there is more depth to us than that!" you laughed, sipping on your water.

"well you're quite intimidating you know." emily admitted as you looked at her in a mix of surprise and shock. "me? like you're one to talk you avoid me like i have a disease!" you laughed as the brunette look confused.

"i don't! i promise. or i didn't mean to if it seems i have been." emily sighed apologetically. "i thought you may have been avoiding me after the last time we played the US, that tackle." you winced at the memory, given a yellow card for the way you'd accidentally swept her legs out after she'd gotten rid of the ball.

"that? oh i was ready to kill you...months ago. i hadn't even given it a thought since then, well until now." emily assured with a smile that you returned, seemingly relaxed a little more at her words.

"i'm just...awkward? and you seem to have everyone and everything figured out, i've not heard anyone say a bad word about you." emily revealed as your smile softened. "you don't seem awkward. and i've had a couple of years to find my feet, you'll do the same too!" you bumped your shoulder into hers gently.

"okay i'll tell you a secret." you placed your water down on the table and turned to face her a little more. "i'm not drinking because i'm taking my driving test tomorrow and i've already failed it three times, last thing i need is a hangover." you groaned quietly, cheeks warm with embarrassment.

there was a pause of silence and you wondered if you'd said the wrong thing until finally as you were about to stand up there was a break through.

"stop laughing at me it isn't funny! i told you that in confidence." you huffed glaring at her as she clutched her stomach. "how did you fail it three times? i've been here a month and i passed first try!" emily shook her head in disbelief.

"i can't parallel park." you mumbled, eyebrows furrowing and crossing your arms as you huffed. "what? its easy!" emily laughed again as you sighed. "i just get all the angles wrong and i panic and well the last time i clipped the car in front." you blushed bright red, something emily had to admit was an adorable sight.

"no way." "way, its tragic."

"hey kyra! thirsty?" you frowned in confusion as emily called over the younger girl, handing over the drink she'd barely touched as the midfielder snatched it with a beaming grin and a thank you.

"what did you do that for? you know she won't buy you one in return, she's a massive scab." you rolled your eyes knowing the girl all too well, owed many a drink you know you'd never see.

"what are you doing on your day off tomorrow?" emily questioned ignoring the one you'd asked her as you shrugged. "groceries, sleeping in-" you started to list off the errands on your list as the american shook her head.

"wrong. we're going to get up early and get a coffee, maybe some breakfast, then i'm teaching you how to parallel park before your test." emily responded confidently, waving off your attempts to say no.

"okay, its a date." you eventually gave in with a grin, noticing the slight change in her facial features and the way her eyes widened. "oh i'm so sorry i don't mean like-" you hurried to back track but the american held up a hand, catching alessia's eye over your shoulder.

"yeah, it is a date."

[hello-kuni]

𝚸𝐋𝚬𝚨𝐒𝐔𝐑𝚬 𝐑𝚬𝚨𝐃𝚰𝚴𝐆

ft. alhaitham, diluc, thoma, kazuha

syn: they take an interest in the book you've been reading recently

cw: suggestive, mentions of erotic novels, gn!reader

a/n: i'm iffy on diluc's, but v proud of alhaitham's

❁ alhaitham

in all the time you'd been together, he'd never seen you so engrossed in a book before. he'd seen you read many times, but not with such an intense look in your eyes, like you were devouring whatever lay within those pages. it piqued his curiosity, to say the least.

the most interesting part of it all was the fact you never left it unattended. almost as if you didn't want him to look at it. he'd tried to peek over shoulder at point only for you to shift your position on the couch so he couldn't see the pages. that annoyed him. but made him all the more determined to find out what the books was.

his moment finally arose when he noticed the book laying peacefully on your nightstand. he'd come home ready for a nap but that initially plan was forgotten the moment he laid eyes on that little tome. he carried it to the living room and made himself comfortable as he opened to the first page, pleasantly surprised by the contents within.

hours later you found him lounging on the couch, nose tucked into a book. it was far from an unusual sight. until you took a second glance at the book in his hands. it dawned on you then that you had forgotten to tuck it into the drawer of your nightstand before you fell asleep last night, and in your rush to leave on time that morning it remained in plain sight. heat rose to your cheeks as you took him in. he was completely unfazed as he turned the page.

"alhaitham," you said, voice weak. he didn't acknowledge your presence. "what are you reading?"

"it's your book, you should know. don't bother asking a question you know the answer to, it's a waste of breath." his eyes trailed the words printed on the paper as he spoke, still not looking at you.

you tried to take the book from his hands but he moved it out of your reach with one hand and caught your wrist with the other. "haitham, please," you whined, tugging weakly against his grip. he let you go without a fight. "put the book down."

"why? i'm almost finished with it."

with a pathetic groan, you threw yourself on the couch next to him, waiting in agony until he finally snapped the book shut with one hand. you peeked at him from the corner of your eye, but his expression gave nothing away.

"you have an interesting taste in literature," he said, finally, "but i can't fault you, it's well written and the plot is captivating."

"that's all?" you asked, expecting more from him. mostly something chastising.

he held the book out to you. "don't suggest recreating the kitchen scene. there were too many utensils involved."

❁ diluc

he found the sight of you curled up on the couch with a book rather endearing. you always looked so happy in those moments. and you'd always tell him about them over dinner or on walks around vineyard. he absolutely adored these moments. so much so that he wanted to be able to have an in depth conversation about one these books you loved so much. he figured the one you had just finished, one he'd often seen you with, and still had yet to tell him anything about would be a good place to start. a nice little surprise. since there must be something about it if you’re keeping it to yourself.

what he hadn't expected was to be met with a very detailed sex scene halfway through. it had started off so innocent and sweet, exactly the way he'd expect a romance to go. and then all of a sudden the scene took quite a turn. yet he couldn't pull his eyes away from the pages. he kept wondering why you would read something like this.

maybe he wasn't satisfying you well enough? and you needed this to make up for his shortcomings. his thoughts kept spiraling as he turned page after page. he'd read his share of romances--even ones similar to this--but discovering this in your possession, he couldn't help but wonder if he'd disappointed you. which may be wrong, but he couldn't stave off the thoughts.

this could end up being his worst decision, but he felt he had no other choice if he wished to quell his worries. the first chance he got, he sat opposite you at the dining room table and slid the book across the table and asked, "am i not performing well enough for you?"

you were at a complete loss for words, staring in disbelief at the book in front of you. "what?"

"in the bedroom. am i not satisfying you enough? it's the only reason i can think of that you'd read this book so many times. and so often."

despite your best efforts, you couldn't help the giggle that escaped you. you folded your hands over his, squeezing tightly as you composed yourself. "i assure you it is just the romance that i'm reading it for. and even if i did use it for my personal reasons, it'd be you i'm thinking about, diluc. honestly, how could i ever imagine myself with another man when i have you."

he mulled over your words for a moment. "do you have more books like this?"

there was silence for a long moment. then you said, "so many."

"is this one your favorite?" because whether it be or not, he still wanted to talk to you about what you enjoyed, even if it almost gave him whiplash the first time. he was prepared now. after quite possibly making a fool of himself. nor could he deny that, feelings of insecurity aside, he rather enjoyed the book.

❁ thoma

he'd never seen you with the book before. but he found it on a table in your shared home, your favorite bookmark tucked within the pages. it was partially hidden under some decorative books, which he found strange. curiosity got the better of him and he opened to the marked page.

you hadn't left off on a noteworthy scene, so he flipped back and skimmed the text. his brows rose at what he read, a sly grin curving his lips. this little discovery was by far the highlight of his week. he made himself comfortable on the couch and read through a few chapters, making mental notes of his favorite scenes for later.

the cover and first chapter were entirely misleading, having one believe it was just an innocent romance. by the end of the second chapter the two lead characters were already falling into bed together. the main plot was obviously overshadowed by the many sex scenes. if it wasn't for the detailed yet flowy writing style, he would have put it down immediately. honestly, he could see why you were enjoying it. and why you might want to keep it hidden from him.

as if to further his enjoyment, you walked through the front door, a bag of groceries slung over one shoulder. he drew your attention to him as he spoke from his place on the couch.

"i knew yae publishing was going to venture into new genres, but this wasn't what i expected. nor did i think you'd be into this sort of story. it is interesting, though, in it's own way. these positions are what's most intriguing. should we try them sometime?"

the bag on your shoulder dropped to the floor, a few vegetables rolling out and away. you marched over to him with a blush burning your face.

"give it back," you said, reaching for the book. he held it held it away with one hand and held you back with the other, laughing as you pouted.

eyes shining, he said, "not so fast. answer me this: who do you think is better in bed, me or him?" he waved the book for emphasis.

you huffed. "he wouldn't be so cruel."

"a few scenes say otherwise."

❁ kazuha

anytime the crux fleet docked, you made it your mission to stock up with a stack of new books. reading was one of the few ways to not lose your mind at sea. it was peaceful, but there was such a thing as too much peace, even with a crew as rowdy as the one on the ship.

kazuha rarely touched your haphazard stacks, but while you were out of the room, he found himself picking up the nearest one. there were little scraps of paper marking pages throughout the book, but didn't let his curiosity allow him to spoil anything. he opened it to the first page and began reading. he was only a quarter of the way through when the first explicit scene came up. it just so happened to be one of the marked scenes.

it wasn't what he'd normally expect of a scene like this. there was care put into its writing. a sensuality that drew him further in. it ignited feelings of familiar moments. it captured perfectly, in his opinion, what that moment felt like. or what it should feel like. what he knew it to be.

as he read on, he made note of certain parts that he wanted to try out later. nothing too crazy or experimental, but things he thought you might like. he couldn't believe he hadn't thought of some of these things before.

the door to the cramped room opened and he gave a little "hello".

"of all the ones to read, you chose that one?" you said by way of greeting. he closed the book over finger to mark his place, though he was close to the end, and looked your way.

"something led me to this one. and for good reason. i can see why you would enjoy this."

"is that so?" you asked, raising a brow. you made your way to sit beside him on the small bed. it was truly a feat to both fit on it sometimes, but for the most part it was cozy.

"mhm. do you read this when i'm not around? i only ask because of the many bookmarks."

"does it bother you that i do?" there wasn't a hint of guilt or shame in your response. you had needs, and there were time he wasn't around to help.

he didn't hesitate, "no. as long as you're enjoying yourself, i see no problem at all. however, it has given me some ideas."

[forever-rogue]

you asked for fallout request, so here i am, eagerly writing this…

i’ve been craving a cooper howard x reader oneshot where him and the reader are navigating through life in their own way. maybe a run in with tricky people?? angst?? fluff??? it’s up to you best friend. THANK YOU!!!

AN | Alright, let’s goooo. First go around with Cooper and we had to go with some fluff because that is my specialty. I’ve loved Fallout for a long time and I love the show too❤️

Pairing | Cooper Howard (The Ghoul) x fem!reader

Warnings | language; gun violence

Word Count | 3k

Masterlist | Main 

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

You weren't sure if you'd call yourselves friends.

More like…an unwitting duo of sorts. Unwitting on your end more than anything.

You'd promised him that you absolutely didn't need company or anyone to assist you. He'd insisted that the only way he'd let you go on your own was over his dead body. You'd contemplated that idea for a few moments. Given his reputation, you decided not to push him too much.

The realization that he was a stubborn old man who wasn't going to change his mind was the only reason he was still next to you. Begrudgingly, mind you.

“How much further, darlin’?” His deep voice cut through your internal monologue and you shot a glare in his direction, “I'm starting to think you're not the best judge of distance.”

“If you're just going to complain,” you pointed over your shoulder back to the last town you'd passed through, “you're more than welcome to go back and terrorize that town. I told you that I didn't need you to come with me.”

“And why would I listen to you, huh?” He rolled his eyes lightly as you scoffed, “you'd be dead before the sun went down, sweetheart.”

“So what?” You turned on your heel, walking backwards so you could face him, “why do you care?! You don't even like me!”

“Contrary to what you believe, I do have somewhat of a conscience,” his voice was gruff but somewhat soft, “and if I let you go and then heard that you were killed, I'd be a little annoyed.”

“Why?” 

“Because I’ve already saved your life once,” he so sweetly reminded you as you sighed heavily, “and I didn't just save your life so you could go and be killed by someone else.”

“Ain’t that sweet? You’re a modern day prince,” you mocked his twang as his expression refused to shift. It was almost annoying how unfazed he remained the majority of the time, “I had it handled. You happened to come at an inconvenient time.”

“If that's what helps you sleep at night,” he had to fight to hold back a laugh as you turned back around and you marched in front of him, making it a point not to look back at him. He had to be the most infuriating person you'd ever met. He'd had two hundreds years to perfect being annoying and he had done exceedingly well.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

The two of you had been traveling together for a number of days. You'd managed not to kill each other, luckily, but otherwise things had remained mostly the same. Silence, and if it wasn’t silence, it'd be harsh words and fast quips.

You didn't hate him - not really. You hated the idea that anyone, let alone a man, believed that you needed help. You'd had things handled and would have kept yourself safe. He'd just happened to come fight when you were in the midst of either killing or getting killed. 

He wasn't going to let that go anytime soon. That much you already knew about him.

“It’s cold,” you announced as the two of you made camp for the night. You pulled your jacket tighter around your frame but it was no use, “I’m cold. Can we make a fire?”

“That, princess, is one of the many reasons you need someone out there to keep an eye on you,” if you didn’t know any better, you’d almost have thought that he was being kind - nice. 

“Listen,” you sat down and leaned against one of the trees near the clearing you’d decided to call home for the evening, “I know it’s not exactly safe or the best idea, but I’d rather do that than freeze.”

“It ain’t even that cold,” he mused, stripping off his overcoat and tossing it over to you. You made a sound of surprise, but didn’t hesitate to put it on, “life really was different for you, wasn’t it? I’d say it was almost as easy as those vaulties had it.”

“It wasn’t…” you knew he wasn’t wrong. You’d come from a place of privilege, having been born into a family with wealth, new world wealth anyway, and had it pretty easy for a surface dweller. You’d lived in a large, well stocked and safe home with people around to do your bidding. Those were some of the perks of having a father that was some sort of merchant prince, “it wasn’t like that.”

“Yeah?” he rolled out his bedroll, a bitter laugh escaping him, “sounds like you had nothing to do and everything done for you.”

“I mean…” you trailed off, knowing it was futile to lie to him. He’d known your father after all; Cooper Howard was the one sent to fetch you and return you home once your father had found out you’d run away, “it was…good sometimes. There were a lot of bad times too. But I still know how to do things for myself. I could kill you with my bare hands if I wanted to. I’ve done it before.”

“Huh,” he grabbed a vial and downed it one go, his eyes never leaving your face, “guess that makes you a killer. Just. Like. Me.”

“I did what I had to do,” you swallowed thickly, blinking back tears that threatened to well up. Cooper knew that you had run away, but he didn’t know the full extent of what had happened to cause you to run away, “and we’re here.”

“Tell me what happened,” your eyes snapped to him as you tried to weigh his words in order to see if he was being serious or not. He’d never really taken an interest into your personal life, but you wondered if that was because he genuinely didn’t care or if he’d just created some sort of creed for himself that didn’t allow him to get close to anyone, “what made you run away from your sweet little life, darlin’?”

“Cooper,” you wiped your hands on your thighs and shrugged your shoulders nonchalantly. You’d never really said his name before and that caught him off guard, “does it really matter?”

“It’s still buggin’ you, clearly,” he mirrored your position and crossed his arms over his chest, “and we ain’t got nothing but time.”

You inhaled deeply before slowly exhaling and looking at the sky. You could feel his attention still focused on you, “my father told me that there was a man I was going to marry. I told him no and he told me that I didn’t have a choice. Said man found me shortly before the wedding was supposed to happen and he…he tried to…”

You paused for a moment, wiping away the tears that had unwittingly rolled down your cheeks. Cooper’s gaze had darkened but he was still watching; the expression on his face looked like he was ready to commit murder.

“He didn’t get a chance to do anything,” you said softly, “I killed him before he could. But he managed to get me a little bit when he was trying to fight me off. That’s why I had a black eye and all the bruises.”

“Darlin’-”

“I didn’t hesitate, Coop,” your expression steeled as you looked him in the eyes, “and I won’t hesitate now. A man will never tell me what to do. And I don’t need anyone thinking I need someone to protect me.”

Cooper had been listening with rapt attention, his mind already thinking of the things he could do to your father.  Bringing you back to him definitely wasn’t one of those things. He’d made up his mind about that almost the moment he’d met you. You’d been sporting a black eye and cut lip, dried blood caked on your hands and arms. He was smart enough to put two and two together.

“For what it’s worth,” he looked back at you with the gentlest expression you’d seen on him, “I’m sorry for what you had to go through. Those are not men, those are monsters.”

“And you’re going to bring me right back to him,” it was a question presented as a statement. You weren’t entirely sure what his plan with you was; you’d been scared to ask. But he also wasn’t hadn’t mentioned a word of bringing you back to your father, “aren’t you?”

“I ain’t bringing you back,” he admitted and you couldn’t keep the surprise off your face, “I never was. I’ve been around a long time, little girl. I know what your father is. I figured it was a better option for me to find you than someone else.”

“You’re not?” you hated how small your voice sounded; how you almost sounded scared. In a way you were. Scared of going back to the place that you hated and would surely make sure you suffered, but you were also scared of forging a new path. You didn’t really know where you were going or what you were going to, “really?”

“On one condition,” of course. You waved your hand, motioning for him to go, “you admit that you have no clue where we’re going and we’ve basically been making this hell of a trek for no real reason.”

You tried to look serious for a moment, but you couldn’t help but start to laugh at how well he could already read you. Cooper was so taken aback by the soft, sweet sound that he couldn’t help the smile that tugged up the corners of his mouth. When you managed to catch your breath, you looked at him and cocked your head to the side, “I have no clue where we’re going and we’ve been making this hell of a trek for no real reason.”

“Honesty,” he pulled one of his knees toward his chest and drummed his fingers on it, “it’s refreshing. You’re gonna be alright, kid.”

“There’s a place,” you murmured after a few moments of silence, “that my mom told me about when I was little. She made it sound like this magical place. I guess really, that’s where I want to go.”

“I hate to break it to you,” Cooper said, “but magical places don’t really exist. They never really did.”

“I know,” you admitted softly, “it just seemed like that when I was young. She died a long time ago, but I’d always think about that place, going there someday.  She said it was west - just go west and you’ll know when you’re there.”

“Hmm,” he nodded and paused for a moment before getting up and grabbing some nearby sticks and bringing them to the center of the clearing. He started making a fire before you could even question him, “if it draws anything out, I’m sure we can handle it.”

“Thanks Coop,” you watched him work, an odd feeling settling in the pit of your stomach. Once the fire was going, he settled down near you, “Cooper?”

“Hmm?”

“We are going west, right?” your question caused him to chuckle before he reached into his pocket and pulled something small out that he passed over you. It was a small silver compass worn and weathered just like him.

“I’m sorry to tell you, sweetheart, but we’ve been goin’ east for the last couple of days,” he shrugged as you groaned at yourself. At least you didn’t have anywhere to be at any particular time, “had I know we’ve been searching for a magical place, I could have told you we were going the wrong way.”

“I guess I’m not as handy as I thought,” you grumbled to yourself, clutching the compass tightly in your hand, “you know you don’t have to come, right?”

“I know,” he nodded, “you think anyone could force me to do something against my will, you don’t know me at all, sugar. Now stop your yapping and get some rest. We’ll start heading west at sunrise.”

You paused for a moment, pulling his coat tighter around you, “thanks, Coop.”

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

The next couple of days of trekking passed in relative peace. The two of you were now making your way west for whatever magical place your mom had made you dream of you. You weren’t sure why Cooper was still with you, but you weren’t about to complain. He provided some decent company since you’d had your little heart to heart, but he owed you nothing. You weren’t exactly complaining; he was the closest thing to a friend you’d had in a long time.

But, as things would have it in the wasteland, life threw a wrench in your plans. A wrench in the form of two raiders that definitely weren’t looking to get chummy. 

“Ugh,” you groaned as the two figures approached from a distance. The two of you were outside of a saloon, trying to decide whether to keep pressing on for the evening or staying put and turning in. Cooper followed your line of sight and made a sign of annoyance, “why do I feel like they’re going to make trouble?”

“Well, darlin’, that’s because they’re about to make trouble,” he touched the brim of his hat and pulled it further down. 

“Look who it is,” one of the men sneered at the two of you. He looked about as unfriendly as they came, “the Ghoul of the hour and his little bounty.”

“We heard you were having some trouble delivering her back home,” his partner came up and eyed you without shame. He looked disgusting with greasy hair and rotting teeth, a sinister expression on his face, “so we came to take over.”

“Go fuck yourself,” you spit at him, reaching for the dagger that was at your side. You felt Cooper reach for your hand and gently squeeze it in order to stop you from making any rash moves.

“What this charming sweetheart means is that she is not going back with you,” Cooper smirked at them, “so you can run along now.”

“Fucking Ghoul,” the first man snarled at him, “you couldn’t even do your job. Turn the bitch over and we’ll let you go alive…or whatever the hell you are.”

“You can go back to my father and tell him that he can go fuck himself too,” you hissed, blood boiling with sheer annoyance and anger, “and if you don’t turn around right now-”

“What?” His voice was sticky sweet and filled with vinegar as he smiled at you; both of them had pistols in their hands and that made your stomach churn. They could easily get the jump on you, “you’ll kill me?”

“No,” Cooper pushed you behind him and looked at them with a grin on his face. Of course he’d  be enjoying this, “but I will.”

“Why don’t you just-” but the man couldn’t get another word in as the sound of the gunshot rang through the air, causing you to stumble backwards and cover your ears. A second shot rang out within seconds and you saw the other body fall to the ground. 

It happened so fast that you couldn’t help the shock that ran through your body, causing you to let you let out a loud sob. You’d seen death before, you’d seen things much worse than before but there was something about the moment that was overwhelming. 

Blood spattered the side of the building, causing you to dry heave as you noticed the bits of brain and bone clinging to it. Your ears were still ringing as you tried not to completely lose your grip on reality.

“Hey,” you heard his voice cut through the fog and you felt his hand on your shoulders, helping to keep you steady and upright. You shifted your gaze up and found his eyes concerned, “hey.”

“I-I…” you couldn’t even form a proper sentence as you looked at him, “they…you. You saved me.”

Before he could even respond, you threw your arms around him and held tightly onto him. He was taken aback for a moment before he hugged you back, and you could feel his breath of relief. There was something so good and reassuring about the feel of his arms around you.

“You would have had it handled,” he insisted and you shook your head. 

“No,” you looked at him and to your surprise he gently wiped away your tears, “I couldn’t have. I couldn’t have saved myself this time. Thank you.”

“No need to thank  me, darlin’,” he took your chin in his hand and kept your gaze on his, “I’ll be right here if you need me.”

“I do,” you wrapped your fingers around his wrist and nodded slightly, “I do need you. Don’t go.”

“The only place I’m going is west,” there was that smile again, the one that rarely graced his features. The same one that made your legs feel like jello, “are you comin’?”

“Yes,” you promised, “I’m coming.”

“Well then, we best get goin’ sweetheart,” he glanced over the carnage that he left behind, “before someone else comes to make trouble.”

He checked himself over to make sure he had everything ready to. You missed the feel of his touch almost immediately. 

Once he made sure he had everything, he held his hand out to you.

You took it without hesitation. 

[tizeline]

1-I've fallen in love with your Tiz Sep AU, especially how you made Mikey the problem child with the hardest redemption arc out of the 4, because normally it's not Mikey who gets that role (Cause he'll always be a sweet kid no matter what dimension or universe or faction he's in<3), so I'm really interested to see how Sep Mikey and Sep Donnie finally reconcile and become closer<3<3<3<3

I'm glad you're enjoying the AU :D! And I'm still trying to figure out how the events of the movie is gonna go down in the AU, but so far this is what I've come up with (though keep in mind this is subject to change)

So it's during season 2 that all that drama between Mikey and... basically everyone else in his family gets really intense, but he does end up mostly reconciling with Leo, Raph and Draxum during the season 2 finale (don't know the details yet, just that it's gonna happen). With that character development, Mikey also grows more accepting towards humans, he still doesn't like them but he's also not trying to destroy them all so that's something!

But Mikey and Donnie just can't seem to get along, in the time leading up to the invasion they're just stuck in this constant state of animosity. Raph and Leo certainly try to mediate, but it's almost like Mikey and Donnie don't want to get along. It's kinda one of those situations where it doesn't really matter why two people started fighting, cuz now they're been fighting for so long and about so many things that it feels impossible to even try to make peace.

So then The Foot get the Key, which in the AU happens because Donnie and Mikey can't stop fighting for two fricking seconds and they screw up the mission. And then each of them blame the other for the mission going wrong, which just gets worse when Casey Jr shows up and warns them about the Krang and goddam these two are being annoying. STILL! Despite their less than ideal relationship, they have started genuinely care about each other, and they both feel guilty about losing the Key, so when Mikey sees an opportunity of getting the Key back he goes for it (like canon!Leo did). And when Donnie sees that Mikey is about to get fucking skewered by the Krang, he jumps in front of his little brother and shield him with his own body (like canon!Raph did).

The story from here on out is not as thought out, but needless to say Donnie gets captured and "krangified". I'm kinda thinking that instead of the Krang just making him a soldier like Raph was, they instead hook Donnie up to the Technodrome or something? And after being freed from the Krang's control, maybe Donnie can still take control of the Technodrome himself to pilot it back through the portal. Cuz ya know, they still need a way to send it back into the prison dimension and the other turtles can't connect to the TD because of their hard shells. I did have an idea of potentially making April pilot the thing lmao, but I also have a headcanon that the only reason Donnie could pilot the TD at all was because he has some Krang DNA in him (empyrean), which April obviously doesn't. So Donnie will still probably be the one to send the TD back into the prison dimension.

In the AU, I imagine that Leo and Raph are still kinda dealing with the whole leadership-issue throughout the invasion haha. It's not nearly as dramatic and hostile this time around, don't worry! But I love the idea of Leo and Raph becoming co-leaders, only problem is that they're still trying to figure out what exactly that looks like for them. It not a huge issue when they're doing small-scale missions, but with how intense and stressful the invasion is, they're kinda struggling figuring out how exactly their dynamic should look like.

But back to Mikey, he obviously feels guilty as fuck over Donnie sacrificing himself for him and he's not handling very well. Mikey having lost access to his mystic powers is also really getting to him considering how heavily he relies on them. Leo's drama with Casey Jr in the movie is in the AU replaced with Mikey's drama with Casey Jr. Mikey is initially pretty cold towards CJ just because he's human, when Donnie gets taken Mikey decides to direct his hurt and anger at CJ because... well... he's human! And he didn't properly warn them about the Krang! So obviously it's somehow his fault that Donnie got taken! Somehow! It's very weird for CJ to interact with pre-character-development-Mikey acting like a petty brat about the whole situation, he's hurt by it but also quickly just grows very annoyed at Mikey's hostility towards him. And then we get That One Scene where CJ yells at Leo to get his shit together, except of course this time it's him yelling at Mikey haha.

Anyway, then Mikey DOES get his shit together, and he manages to help Donnie break free of the Krang's control by giving this big heartfelt speech about how he's sorry about how he has been acting and he wants to befriend Donnie and become real brother, you get it. But Mikey still feels guilty about everything that has happened, and to add on to that he still kinda has main character syndrome lol. Point is when Raph, Leo and Donnie all get knocked out of the fight and it's only Mikey against Krang One, he pretty quickly decides to sacrifice himself if it means defeating the Krang. It goes down pretty similarly to how Leo did it in canon, Mikey can fly so he lures Krang One into the prison dimension and is able to restrain him there long enough with his chains to convince CJ to close the portal.

So then the question is - how the HELL does he get out of there??? Mikey opened up the portal in canon, which is gonna be hard for him to do in the AU if he's being beaten within an inch of his life by Krang One haha. But I do think I've figured it out, so Leo and Raph at this point in the story have unlocked their Hamato Ninpo but Mikey hasn't, because their Ninpo is fueled by like... the connection to their family, and Mikey doesn't feel very connected to his Hamato ancestry before this obviously. But what if this is the moment where he doesn finally unlock his Ninpo! After both Donnie and Mikey proved their dedication to each other through their sacrifices, Mikey finally feels connected to the Hamato family. The way I imagine this scene is that it's not just Mikey creating the portal, his brothers are reaching out to him with their Ninpo and Mikey is able to reach back, even while in different dimensions. They're able to establish a familiar connection and because of that a litteral connection is formed through the portal, and Mikey is brought home.

Lastly I wanna talk about Donnie, specifically the uh. Injury he gets from the Krang when he shields Mikey. I actually drew this really quick sketch of that moment a while back but I never posted it here so I might as well do it now! It's not super gory or anything, but Donnie's shoulder got a little but fucking impaled and also there's blood so I'm putting it underneath the read more thing

Haha remember when I said this this AU was gonna stay mostly silly goofy? Teehee!

Anyway, I can't really decide if I wanna make Donnie just lose his enitre arm after this because lol. Lmao. But the reason Donnie doesn't like die from blood loss right after this moment is because the Krang goop is sealing up the injury, both when he first gets captured and interrogated, as well as during the time when he's under Krang control. After he's freed, he's mostly only able to help in the fight by piloting the Technodrome up partway through the portal, maybe he's able to like act as support in the fight against Krang One by using his Ninpo? But yeah no he basically gets benched as soon as his brothers get him back because he's still quite injured.

But look on the bright side, Mikey and Donnie both being on bedrest after the invasion gives them PLENTY of time to bond! :D Like sure, they showed how far they're both willing to go for each other during the invasion, but they've still got a lot of bad blood to sort out afterwards and them both being stuck in medbay kinda forces them to deal with their problems haha. So yeah, while the invasion is the catalyst for them making peace, it's mostly during their recovery that they properly bond with each other. (Prepare for B-Team cuddles, it WILL happen!)

And you asked about specifially when Donnie loses his immunity towards Mikey's puppy dog eyes, and I'd imagine it's during their recovery. Not only because they're growing closer, but also because his baby brother is INJURED and SUFFERING and to Donnie's horror he quickly realizes that he is unable to say no to Mikey now haha XD

HOOBOY that's basically everything, I still have to figure out a lot of the details, but writing this all down made me realize that I've figured out way more of the plot than I initially thought, so that's nice!

[scarletwinterxx]

but on a wednesday in a cafe i watched it begin again - kim mingyu imagine

hiiiii - okay i'm so so so inlove with this one. may i say this is half inspired by real life scenarios haha anyways i hope you like it!

alsooo just a thought, would anyone want to be mutuals on X?

for my other svt fics, check them here

if you want, u can buy me coffee(totally optional but any donation is very much appreciated!) thank you🥺💛

All works are copyrighted ©scarletwinterxx 2024 . Do not repost, re-write without the permission of author.

(gif not mine, credits to rightful owner)

10 years ago

"Kyeom, I'm gonna go. I have assignments to do"

"What noooo, the game's just about to start" he mutters, he even kick feet like a little kid

"Then stay, but I'm going" you didn't even give him a chance to say anything because you're already out the gym doors. Your bestfriend used to your attitude at this point, he lets you be.

You pull your bag on your shoulders as you walk towards the school gates, some students were also on their way out since classes are done. Just as you were about to exit, someone calls your name making you look back.

When you spot who was calling you, confusion took over your face. Wondering why Kim Mingyu is here running after you when he should be inside with the basketball team.

"Hey, glad I caught you" he smiles at you.

Kim Mingyu, the guy who's known across all campus. He's the star student, all the teachers like him, he's never missed a class, he's good at studying, never the troublemaker, has a big circle of friends and an even bigger number of admirers from all across the school.

"What's up, do you need something?" you nonchalantly replied but that didn't deter him one bit

"Yea uh actually I wanted to ask you out" he scratches the back of his neck, looking down at his shoes as he waits for your answer

"Me?"

"Yea, I like you"

"Oh uh thanks. But I'm not really looking for that type of thing right now"

You watch the smile fall from MIngyu's face before it comes back again, it doesn't quite reach his eyes though. You notice.

"Oh"

"Yeah, sorry but uhm goodluck on your game though. I'm gonna go now" you wave goodbye before going your way. Not once turning to look back where Mingyu was left standing.

The rest of your high school life flew by like that. You still mostly kept to yourself, a few close friends, never really wanting to have any eyes on you. Mingyu never contacted you after that. You two acted like strangers once again, his confession something only you and him know.

Present Day

"Did you get the invite?" Dokyeom asks the moments he enters your apartment. After all these years, he's still your bestfriends. Most of your 'friends' from high school you've already lost contact with, you realized you were only friends with them only because you saw them everyday. Not many of them really made the effort to keep in contact, you can't blame them though since you didn't either.

But that's life. People come and go.

"For?"

"Our high school reunion, please tell me you're going"

"I did get it, and no I'm not going"

"What? Why? It'll be fun" he still does this thing where he stomps his feet like a kid when you say no to him, annoying but he's your bestfriend so you learned to put up with it.

"I don't even talk to anyone from high school apart from you"

"I'll be there, you can talk to me" he weakly reasons out, trying to plead with you is like trying to move a cement brick wall. He knows it's a losing battle but he still tries anyways.

"You won't stop bugging me unless I go, won't you?"

"You know me too well"

"Fine, but I'm not staying long"

"3 hours tops"

"2, take it or leave it"

Leave it to Dokyeom to make sure you're actually coming because by 5pm the day of the reunion, he came to your apartment even though you're taking your own car since you don't plan on staying as long as him.

"Oh you actually got ready" he says when you open the door

"I don't want another long message from you, let's go before I change my mind"

The two of you drove separately to the venue, as an introvert you admit when you got there you already want to go home. You see the familiar faces, already dreading the amount of small talks you have to do for the rest of the night. Cursing Dokyeom in your mind.

Your bestfriend didn't even give you a chance to step back inside your car before he's pulling you inside, saying hello to everyone on your way in. He's always been the nicer one between the two of you.

The two of you grab some snacks and drinks before continuing on meddling with your former schoolmates. Your social battery draining drastically by the second when you hear Dokyeom almost scream from beside you,

"Kim Mingyu! Yo dude you made it"

You look over where Dokyeom went, watching him give a bro hug to the guy. There Kim Mingyu stands, still as handsome as ever. A lot of years passed by but he still looks the same, just even better now.

The years have indeed been kind to him.

With everything happening around you, you can't help but feel overwhelmed. A few moments away from sneaking out but Dokyeom catches you once again before you can even give it a try

"Y/N's here too, you remember Mingyu right?"

You wanted to step on your bestfriend's shoes to make him shut up but instead you just shoot him a tight lipped smile before turning to the taller guy,

"Hi"

"Hey, it's been a while. I haven't seen you since... graduation"

"Yea, you too"

End of conversation.

You're still the same, Mingyu thinks. You're still the same girl he liked back then, you're still just as hard to read, still answering with single sentences, still beautiful like the day you broke his heart.

He wonders how you've been since then. Are you dating anyone or are you still out there breaking other guys' heart with your cold demeanor. He's still friends with Dokyeom and last he heard you've been doing okay. No mention of a boyfriend.

You don't give him a chance to ask any question, you say something to Dokyeom before walking towards the door

"Is she alright?" he can't help but ask

"Oh yea, she's being her usual self. It's a miracle I even got her to go tonight so I won't even be surprised if she's about to sneak home now, I'll just call her later"

"You two still close?"

"She's my bestfriend, dude. Of course we are, we're like twins ya know. Anyways how's the cafe going"

Mingyu hangs out with Dokyeom for the rest of the night, they didn't really run out of things to catch up on. He can't help but wonder how two very different people manage to stay close friends. But then again it's Dokyeom, one of the nicest guy he knows. At the end of the day, he's glad you're friends with someone like him.

The next day Dokyeom calls you to bombard you with stories about the reunion that you missed when you came home, he goes on and on about catching up with Mingyu then some other people from your batch you don't even talk to anymore but you listen anyways.

After the phone call, you get ready to go to work. You go on with your routine and before you know it you're done with your 9-5. That goes on for the rest of the week.

Some people hate it but you liked having a routine, it drives you crazy when things don't go your way.

Like tonight, your workmates all but forced you to come with them for afterwork drinks. You wanted to decline but you already done so many times so they made sure you come with them this time.

"Okay okay so what if you're in a room full of all the people you ever liked, who would you go to?"

Everyone take turns to answer until all head turns to you, "Oh me?"

"Yea, come on spill the details girlie we won't tell" one of your workmate jokes, clearly drunk

You take a few more seconds to think before you say your answer

"I guess this guy I rejected in high school"

"What? Oh my gosh whoooo, tell us tell us what happened" they excitedly ask

"Oh no big deal, just a guy. He was nice, like really nice. I liked that about him, but uh I guess high school me wasn't ready for any kind of commitment so I rejected him. I choose him because I want to apologize, that's all"

"Aw did you hear that? that's so cuteee"

"So where is he now?"

"I don't know, I never really kept in touch"

You grab your glass so you can avoid any more questions, after an hour to tell them goodbye since you still have to go to work tomorrow.

And as expected you woke up with a slight headache, even though you wanted to stay in bed for the day you know you can't. You get up and get ready for the day, planning to stop by this cafe your workmates keep on mentioning on your way to work.

Good things it's still early, when you got the cafe there were only a few people inside. You can smell the freshly brewed coffee and pastries on the stand.

"Next, Hi goodmorning what can I get you?"

"Hi, can I get an iced Vanilla Latte and a bagel with cream cheese to go? Thank you" you say your order while the cashier notes it down "Okay, for a moment I'll just get your order ready"

"Sure" you wait on the counter for your order, checking the other pastries and the menu board.

Mingyu was at the back, getting some stocks ready for the day when he spots someone on the counter. He had to do a double take to make sure it was you standing in his cafe, immediately a smile forming on his face as he watch you look at the display case.

You're too lost in your own world to notice him now standing Infront of you so he clears his throat to get your attention, "Can I get you something else, see anything you like?" he asks

He can see you weren't expecting to see him here, out of all places.

What in the twisted fate was this, you think to yourself.

"Oh uh the other barista already took my order" you tell him, Mingyu goes to the other guy telling him something before returning to the register with your order, "One iced vanilla latte and bagel with cream cheese, here you go. Anything else?" he asks again

"I think this is all for now, so how much?"

"On the house" Mingyu says with a smile, makes you wonder if he does this on a regular basis but you shake the thought away.

"What? No, come on I'll feel bad. Tell me how much" you tell Mingyu but he just shakes his head at you

"Free coffee for the pretty lady"

"Do you tell all your lady customers that?" you ask him, the words already out before you can stop yourself. You can feel your cheeks heat up but Mingyu just chuckles, again he shakes his head

"Just you, tell me next time how's our coffee and baked goods are then we'll call it even" he tells you, pointing at the suggestion box

"Are you sure? My workmates recommended this place and they said the coffee is good but I never really went with them" you tell him,

"You work close by?"

"A few blocks from here, I sometimes pass by here but it's always so busy. I guess I got lucky today"

All this time you were this close to where he was and he never knew. Mingyu mentally agrees with you, indeed it is a lucky day because for the first time since he met you you finally said more than one sentence to him.

17 year old Mingyu would be pouting and kicking his feet out of jealousy, he would never believe this day would come but here you are.

"Thank you for the coffee and food, uh see you around"

"You too, Y/N. It's nice to see you again" he smile again, you shoot him a small smile before going your way.

He watches you go out the door, the scene of you walking away hitting him like a Deja vu. A scene from 10 years go playing in head. Just as you were about to exit the door, to turn around to look at him behind the counter then shoot him another smile then you were gone.

This time though Mingyu wasn't left with a heart to mend but something to look forward to. Maybe just maybe this time it'll be his chance.

"You're down bad" Hoshi, his co-owner and other barista, says from beside him

"Huh?"

"Really?? Coffee for the pretty lady? so original" he laughs

"What? I never used that on anyone" Mingyu mumbles, "I know, that's why I said you're down bad. Who is she by the way?"

"Someone very special, call me when she comes back" he pats Hoshi on the shoulder before going to the back to resume his re-stocking duties.

Mingyu didn't want to expect (but he was), he would be lying if he didn't tell Hoshi he'd open tomorrow and man the register just in case you come in early again. He would be lying if he says he looked up every time the bell dings signaling another customer came in only it wasn't you.

It took you a few days before you visited again, and this time luck wasn't on Mingyu's side because he was not on duty.

"Hey, you're Mingyu's friend" Hoshi remembers you from the other day, greeting you with a big smile making his eyes almost disappear. He seems like a warm person, very friendly.

"Yeah, you can say that" you shyly answer him "Oh right sorry, what can I get you?"

"I'll get another iced vanilla latte. The last one you made was really good" you tell him

"Thanks, make sure to drop that inside our box" he jokes "Anything else?"

"Can you recommend any pastry for me to try? They all look so good"

"Honestly, not to be biased, everything's good here but that chocolate cake is extra special. Mingyu makes it himself everyday, want a slice?"

"Sure, sounds great"

Hoshi, you learn his name, goes and make your order like before then returns to the counter "Okay here you go, and the man says it's on the house"

"Huh?" you ask confused "Mingyu said it's on the house if ever you come back"

"Oh I can not not pay, he already said that the last time" you said, already getting your card out

"No really, he insists. And between us, I'd be in bigger trouble if I let you pay. If you want to scold him, feel free to do so and drop it in the box"

You chuckle, finally taking your drink and food "Thanks again, let me write something" you seat on a vacant chair to get a paper from inside your bag, writing a quick note before going back to the counter to drop it in the box. You say goodbye to Hoshi before going.

You feel your phone ring in your pocket, Dokyeom's name flashing on the screen "Barbeque later"

"Are you asking or are you telling me?"

"I'll come by after work" then he hangs up.

A few hours later, your bestfriend shows up with a few grocery bags and a loud mouth. You two catch up on what you missed on the few days you didn't get to talk, he likes staying up to date with your life even though nothing really ever happens. He's like the brother you never expected but you're now stuck with.

"Do you have any sweets here, chocolate or something" you hear him scrummaging through your kitchen

"I have a cake slice in the fridge"

Dokyeom finds it then walks back to the dining table, setting it in the middle to share between the two of you

"Oh gosh this is so good, where did you buy this?"

"At Mingyu's cafe, did you know he had one?" you ask back, Dokyeom's head springs up to look at you

"You went there? Mingyu did mention he had a cafe. So you two talked?"

"Yea he was there the first time I went, it was really nice the coffee is good. The other barista said Mingyu baked this" you tell him, taking another bite

"You know, you never told me why you rejected him"

Dokyeom suddenly mentioning that made you cough out loud, "You said you liked him right? Then all of a sudden you were telling me you rejected him"

"Are we really talking about this? It's been 10 years"

"Yea"

"Like I said, I didn't have the time and I got overwhelmed. Everyone knew who Mingyu was, I didn't want that kind of attention on me too. I guess 17 year old me got scared"

Dokyeom listens to you, watching you stab the piece of cake before taking a bite "For what it's worth, he really liked you back then. He even asked me what your favorites were, I said you liked cakes more than ice cream"

Back at the cafe, Mingyu comes in after Hoshi closes so he can start on baking tomorrow's batch of cake. He's in the kitchen getting the ingredients ready while Hoshi cleans the display case and front of the house.

He was humming to himself when he hears the kitchen door swing open, "Oh by the way Y/N dropped by today"

Mingyu forgets the number he was on, now he has to measure the flour all over again. He turns to look at his friend with an annoyed expression, Hoshi holds his hands in the air

"Hey don't blame me, not my fault she went here on your only day off. But I did say it's on the house courtesy of you, so you're welcome"

"Atleast you did something right" Mingyu says

"And she got the chocolate cake, she also dropped something in the box. Go check it when you're done, I'm going now" he waves goodbye before going to the office to do a few more things before leaving Mingyu alone at the shop.

He tries to focus first on what he's doing, going back to measuring the ingredients and putting it in the oven before going to the counter to get the box.

How will find your note here when there's about 30 others in here, he's not so sure. He reads through a few of them when finally he finds one

Coffee is great, maybe even better with company. On me next time I come back, thanks Gyu :)

He knows it's from you because of the nickname, a lot of people from highschool used to call him that. It may be common but it sounded extra special when you're the one calling him that. He takes the note and put it in his pocket before putting the others back.

Tonight's cake about to be extra good.

When Mingyu comes in the shop the next day he was expecting you to come, he wasn't going to lie about it this time.

It might seem silly but he never really got over his crush on you. There's something about you that he admired so much, even though people said you're the 'ice queen' with your stoic expression and one line answers he thinks you're just always straight to the point.

He never harbored hard feelings even after you rejected him, he understood your reasons. He knew you were focused on your studies but he just wanted to shoot his shot.

That day when he asked you, he already saw you in the gym before the game. He thought you were going to watch only for you to disappear a few minutes before they started, he chased after you with high hopes only to be handed his heart back in a few pieces. But even then he still liked you, he continued on admiring you from afar. Cheering you on your academic victories and cheering for you on your graduation day when you gave out your valedictorian speech.

He liked watching you achieve your goals, you always had that laser focus and determination. The entire class knew you deserved it.

Now a decade later, you're still the same in some ways. The night during the reunion party, he didn't expect to see you there. You didn't age a day, you still look so beautiful. You now carry this confident but reserved aura around you, he admits he was a bit intimidated to approach you so he thanks Dokyeom for being there.

The day passed by and still no sign of you, when he turns the open sign over to close he lets out the biggest sigh. Looking at the last slice of cake on the stand, ironically very similar to him. Waiting for you to come by.

He's busy mopping the floors to notice he didn't lock the front door, you just got out of work and decided to check if the cafe was still open. The sign said closed but you spot Mingyu inside so you try to knock on the glass door but he couldn't hear you so you let yourself in.

You walk closer to where he was before tapping him on the back making the tall man jump up in the air with mop in hand.

Mingyu turns around, holding his hand to his chest as he looks at you blinking back at him "Fuck you scared the shit out of me, sorry" he mumbles the apology after letting a few curses out

"Sorry, I didn't mean too. I knocked but you couldn't hear. Uhm is it a bad time?"

"No, I mean no it's good. I was just cleaning up. Do you want anything?" he asks you, putting the mop in the bucket before walking towards the counter with you following. He stands by the cashier while you stand on the other side

You spot the last piece of cake like it's calling your name, Mingyu following your gaze. Smiling to himself while he waits for your order.

"I'll get the last piece of chocolate cake, please. Hoshi recommended it yesterday and it was really food. Glad I got the last one" you smile

Little did you know he made that recipe with you in mind. He knew you liked chocolate cakes. "Chocolate cake coming up, anything else? Our cookies are good too, let me get some for you"

"As long as you let me pay for it"

"Not a chance, miss" Mingyu smirks, putting the remaining cookies in a box along with the cake before walking back to face you

"Not this again, you already got it for me the last few times I was here. How will you run a business if you keep on giving it out for free"

"I don't always do it" Mingyu shrugs

"Just let me pay please" you say giving him your card but he just pushes it back

"No"

"Mingyu"

He smiles, looking over at you. For a second you were taken back by his stare. The only way you can describe it was sweet, he looked so sweet like the cake he baked. He looked so soft and gentle like he wouldn't break a heart.

"Come back next time, I'll let you pay"

"You said that the last time"

"Then keep coming back, maybe one day I'll let you" he confidently tells you, the underlying message of wanting to see you again lies in the air. He holds his breath waiting for your next words,

"If you don't let me pay the next time, I won't come back" you threaten him cutely, finally taking the bag from him. Mingyu smiles walking to the other side to walk you out.

Before you reach the door you stop, "Actually, there's something I need to tell you" you turn to look up at him

"Go ahead, I'm listening"

You take a few seconds, again surprised with how he's staring right at you. Like he's seeing all of you.

"I would like to apologize for what happened before, you know the whole rejection thing. I know it's a bit overdue, actually it's very overdue but I've always wanted to say sorry. Someone asked me if I was in a room full of all the people I liked, who would I run to I said you. That's because I wanted to say sorry... so yea. I'm sorry" you mumble, now you're looking at his chest. Too shy to look at him

"You like me?" Mingyu mumbles

This make you look at him again, "That's all you heard?"

"I mean I appreciate the thought, apology accepted. Now back to my question.. I heard that right, right?"

"You're not wrong"

You and your one liner answers.

"So how many are there in the room" he asks, now he's teasing you. You can't help but scowl at him, rolling your eyes.

"It's a very short list and you're missing my point"

"No I get it, and no need to apologize. I respect your decision back then and I still do now. No need to say sorry over that, no hard feelings" he smiles at you.

Mingyu wanted to reach out and hold your hand but he stops himself. He didn't want to mess this again with you, if this is finally his second chance then he's not going to do anything to mess it up.

"I really am, it's been 10 years but I just wanted to tell you that. So yea.. that's uh that's all"

"Can I ask something?"

"What?" you ask back "Who else would be in the room with me, do I know the others"

"Oh my gosh! It's a very short list"

He laughs at your answer, reaching up to tuck the loose hair than fell on your face behind your ear.

"I believe you, tell me about it next time you get coffee"

"Seriously making me rethink about coming back here" you pout, this made Mingyu's heart pound like crazy. A hundred shots of espresso got nothing on you. Only you can make him feel this way, so alive.

"I'll bake you a cake" he bargains

"Chocolate?"

"All yours, on the house"

[apparentlytheproblem]

if was your boyfriend, never let you go keep you on my arm girl, you'd never be alone

druig recomendations

perfectly busy - @tokkiotears

lemme just say, HUSBAND DRUID OML. and I'm just a sucker for a confident and king Druid behavior. absolutley adoring this to no ends, smn send help, I forgot how to function. the not really complete without you got me. oh god. just o h g o d. i just feel like i should comment on the narrative, it was so well done and just hit the spot i didn't even know I had.

warnings-

not proofread, annoying men, druig in a button-up with the sleeves rolled up

"this isn't over" - @peterparkersnose

bro this slapped in so many different levels, like excuse me. And druig who shares books and annotates? and smug druig? godamn. the sexual tension- smn keep him away from me before i fall in love.

warnings-

angst, privacy invasion, accidental nudity, sexual tension, falling in love with something you could never have-?

sunshine - @itsapeterthing

firstly, i fell in love with the writing, its so stunning. it has such a fun and flowery vibe surrounding it which makes me just gush oml. it was just so sweet. AND how he gets flustered- literally hit all my marks and exceeded them. i hope you never stop writing these, they make my soul lighter.

warnings: eternals insulting druig as always, fluff

how could they not know? - @saintlike78

to start of, i love a vocal man who can tell you that he missed you. the scene itself was so soft. just love sick druig running back to your arms and you're wearing his shirt mwahh. i find it hilarious how no else has even noticed this happening before, my oblivious fools. its so adorablee.

warnings-

nothing but fluff really, dialog heavy.

hold - @redheadspark

bro, my love, angel, the gif itself got me a blushing mess, you have no idea what the fic did to me sheesh. i love a man who was so acceptable about her fear and so re-assuring, that's so perfectly written. i also love how the author has written these thoughts in her head as well as the internal debate. it just left me in awe i swear.

warnings-

Just a hint of angst but mostly fluff

warmth - @stranger-nightmare

these are one of my favorite's that I've encountered. the end was just lovley. Just the plot of this drabble has me on my knees. it was wonderfully thought and wonderfully written. the author has left no crumbs.

warnings-

one case of swearing, a lil bit of fluff, a whole lotta angst, nakedness but it’s not in a sexual way

boyfriend headcannons - @luventi

just a bunch of head cannons which i thought were amazing. overall its just so cute and has me screaming, crying and throwing up. honestly very underated.

warnings-

druig x gn eternal!reader, au where everyone is alive and happy and together, there will be dashes of suggestive content admits all the fluff so be warned!

shy lover - @writing-wh0re

[ it didn't have a title so I gave it this, I hope the author doesn't mind]

felt that this was just a must included, i don't wanna really have to summarize this cause there wasn't a single line that did not fail to have me hypnotized. just lovley work

warnings-

Smut18+, Unprotected Vaginal Sex, Male Performing Oral, Praise Kink (both), Begging Kink (?), Slight Cocky Druig, Cum kink (?)

[thegirlwholovesficcharacters]

𝑳𝑶𝑽𝑬 𝑳𝑬𝑻𝑻𝑬𝑹𝑺 Evan "Buck" Buckley x shy!Femreader!

Summary: In where y/n write Love Letters and send to her crush in a anonymously way, and thanks to eddie magic, she ends up revealing her identity as Buck's secret admirer.

Words: 2.201 Warnings: Mentions of insecurities, misunderstandings, attempts to make funny dialogues, a lot of fluff, buck being a cutie and eddie being a annoying best friend. Cursive are for her thoughts.

Autor's Note: Hello!. English is not my first language, and I apologize if there are any grammatical errors, you may find translation errors since I have little knowledge of English and mostly use Google Translate.

PD: There will be a second part because it was too long, and I want to keep it as one shots. Also, I think i got a little sidetracked with the love letter theme, but I liked how it turned out. What do you think?.

Y/n wasn't sure how this crush started. But she was sure of one thing, and she like Evan Buckley, a lot.

His smile, his hair, the ways he trated the kids when they come for a excursion his ambition for the ciencie and the silly moments he made when the team is working. There was so many things she likes about him, but she was so shy and scary of talk to him, even if he was the one who talk to her on the recess, she always find a way to run and hide, not because she doens't wanted to talk to him.

She was trying not to say anything emabarrassing in front of him or the team.

So, to convey all his feelings and thoughts, she had started writing love letters secretly. A rather romantic and old-fashioned way for her taste, but it helped her clear her mind. She felt like Lara Jean of all the boys I fell in love with, but instead, she didn't have five cards for different boys.

No, she had written too many letters only for one boy.

Letters that she sent him anonymously, she did not dare to tell him what she felt in person, she was not sure if he felt the same as her, but she was sure of one thing, and that was that, every time Buck opened his admirer's letters a big smile invaded his face. And y/n couldn't help but feel how her heart warmed up and began to beat uncontrollably every time she saw his smile.

That damn beautiful smile.

"You know, you can take a photo of it so it lasts longer" Eddie appeared in front of her wearing a mocking smile, almost amused at seeing his partner and friend's cheeks turn red as she was caught admiring the Buckley boy.

"Shut up Diaz" She muttered embarrassed as she was caught by her friend.

Eddie chuckled, setting a cup of hot coffee on the table right in front of her, the girl murmuring a soft thank you before blowing on the liquid and drinking some of the coffee.

"So…" He spoke looking at her, she raised an eyebrow.

"So what?" She asked.

He rolled his eyes.

"When are you going to tell him? You know…" He commented, surreptitiously pointing at Buck, who was leaning against the kitchen counter reading the letter with a stupid smile on his face.

Y/n stopped herself from smiling at Buck's cute image, she looked back into her friend's eyes and quickly denied knowing what he was referring to.

"I'm not ready yet." She wrinkled her nose, leaving the cup on the table. "Besides, I don't think I'm his type. Girls like me almost never date guys like him." She spoke, pointing between her partner and herself.

Hearing her, Eddie couldn't help but grimace and shake his head. He sat next to her and looked at her with a small sparkle in his eyes.

"Darling, we've already talked about that. You know you're beautiful just the way you are, right? Everyone knows that." The girl couldn't help but feel her cheeks burn.

"It's easy for you to say it, because you are my teammates and friends. But it's different when it comes to the person I like" She murmured towards him, Eddie sighed knowing very well what she meant.

He had known Y/N since he arrived at the station, she was one of the many people who introduced herself and offered him friendship, she helped him adapt to his new life in the city, and when he felt safe he introduced her to Christopher and Gosh, that kid adored the adorable woman in front of him. Eddie knew that his friend had insecurities about her body since she was young, she confessed it to him one night after going out to a bar with the team and Eddie had to take care of her, he let her stay at his house and hugged her when she started to cry.

If there was something that firefighter Díaz hated, it was seeing his best friend cry because of the bad comments about her body, about her thick thighs, her wide back, the stretch marks and especially her stomach, y/n wasn't skinny or tall, she had a medium build and a height of 1'60.

Eddie always made sure to make her feel comfortable when they had to train or helped her practice boxing.

He offered her a shoulder to cry on and his ears to listen to her, but he knew that no matter how hard he tried to help her overcome her insecurities, he had to give her space, he was one of the first to know her story. He was the first one she went to when she needed help with her car, he was the first to see her cry, the first to support her in her little secret about the anonymous letters and the first to know about her crush on Evan Buckley.

And Eddie Díaz promised himself to protect her from everything bad, even if it was the Golden Retriever he had as a best friend, Buck.

Eddie let out a small sigh before speaking.

"Hey, I was thinking..."And just as he was going to speak, the station's sirens started wailing.

Both friends looked at each other and got up at the same time, leaving their cups on the table to go with the rest of their companions and get on the pumper.

The moment 118 arrived at the emergency scene, the group of firefighters began to do their work, and y/n was next to Eddie looking for anyone who was trapped inside the house destroyed by a fire.

Although right now she would prefer the company of hen or chimney, so as not to have to listen to her friend's chatter about her crush on evan buckley.

"I'm just saying, you could, I don't know. Ask him out? Like coworkers?" Y/n rolled her eyes when she heard him.

"Stop it, Eddie. I'm not going to tell him yet. And I don't think he'll accept it."She responded in an irritated tone, both friends continued walking and checking every corner". Also, what could I say to-"Without looking down, Y/N quickly stumbled, falling sideways to the ground.

"Shit"

Eddie, like a good friend he is, laughed first and then a few seconds later helped her up, earning an annoyed grunt from her when she heard him laugh.

"Be careful darling." Y/n thanked him with a gesture and stood up, shaking her uniform.

Rememberyng what she was about to say, a big smile invaded in eddie face.

Oh no, not that horrible smile, she say mentally knowing tht smile was dangerous.

"Go on, tell him what? What would you ask?" A mocking smile appeared on Eddie's lips and she rolled her eyes. "Tell meeee, oh, practice with me!" He begged in a low voice without removing his mocking tone.

She looked at him, confused by his request, until she saw the playful glint in his eyes and finally understood what he meant.

For heaven's sake, someone kill me, she thought internally. Knowing that he would not stop bothering her, she decided to do it.

"Okay, okay. Here I go." She swallowed, she looked at her friend and feeling brave, she placed one of her hands on his shoulder.

Observing that gesture, Eddie raised an eyebrow and prevented himself from letting out a laugh.

"Hey, handsome I've been in love with you for along time, and I wanted to ask you, do you want to go on a date with me?" She asked in a seductive tone while batting her eyelashes, and earning a laugh from the firefighter which he muffled when he felt her hand hit his chest.

Avoiding a laugh, Eddie composed himself and looked at her with a seductive little smile.

"Yes, I would love to go out with you, my beautiful and hot firefighter" He answered in the same tone as her, avoiding breaking down with laughter, she rolled her eyes but still smiled."Would you like to move to second base tonight, doll?”He mocks by throwing kisses into the air.

"Oh my god, shut up!, you asshole!" She exclaimed hiting eddie's chest. Eddie just looked at her and laugh, not feeling offended by her insult.

Ignoring eddie's laugh, she give a one last look around, she sighed when she saw that there was nothing left to rescue.

"There's nothing here ed" she muttered to her partner, she looked in her pocket for her walkie tokie, when she found it she press the button "Captain Nash. Here firefighter Y/L/N, there's nothing left, no one else, or anything to rescue. Just charred wood" Spoke to her captain.

"Okay, Firefighter Y/L/N. You can get back in the truck, the patients are already on their way to the hospital" Their captain announced from the other side, both firefighters nodded to themselves.

"Copy that, cap." With that, she cut off the transmission and followed Eddie out of that destroyed house.

As soon as they reached the group and began to return to the station, Eddie spent the entire trip giving his friend mocking glances every time he saw her look and pay attention to what Buck was saying, clearly, y/n ignored his friend and she gave hall full attention to his partner, who was talking animatedly about a fact about reptiles he found on a website.

Eddie, who was next to Chim, pushed his shoulder next to his, drawing his attention. Having Chimney's attention, Eddie surreptitiously pointed to Buck and Y/N.

They both looked at each other and smiled knowingly, Eddie might know about her secret of the anonymous letters, but for the team, it wasn't a secret that Y/N liked Buck. That is to say, how obvious could she be and how blind could he be to not notice.

"Hey buck" Eddie called, when he heard his friend he stopped talking and looked at him confused "I heard that your anonymous admirer sent you a letter, any clue as to who it could be?" He asked feigning interest, at the mention of the letter, Buck smiled goofily.

Seeing his goofy smile, y/n smiled the same way at seeing him smile, completely ignoring the amused looks her coworkers were giving her.

"Well, I haven't started my search yet. But I think I have one" he commented to his friend. Eddie looked at him curiously and nodded.

"Really? What did you find?" Chimney asked this time.

Having the eyes of his companions on him, Buck felt his cheeks heat up and let out a small laugh.

"Well, the letters have beautiful handwriting and every time I open them a scent of lily perfume comes out. So, I guess the clue is that this person uses lily perfume" He explained, remembering exactly the smell of the perfume.

Y/n watched Eddie smile at her teasingly.

"Oh, wow. That's a great clue, buck," Eddie commented, Buck smiled and nodded energetically. "I guess you need help looking for more clues, right?" He smiled innocently at his friend.

Buck seemed to think about it. "Well, I-"

"Great. Because I have the best at solving mysteries" He spoke, the group looked at him raising an eyebrow and y/n wanted to hang from the ceiling of her apartment with toilet paper.

Buck smiled excitedly. "Really? Who?" He asked curiously without removing his excitement.

Eddie tilted his head and flashed a huge smile at his friend.

Oh no. Why me? Why me? She lamented to herself as she noticed his plan.

“Y/n, dear?” He called, ignoring the knowing smiles of hen, chimney, and bobby, y/n looked innocently at her friend and smiled fakely.

"Yes, Eddie?" She asked, getting the girl's attention he smiled.

"You're one of the best at mystery board games, maybe you could help Buck with his little anonymous mystery?" He asked in a neutral tone, pretending not to know what he was getting into.

"I...uh, well I think..." she stammered, scratching the back of her neck nervously as she felt their gazes.

She moved her head in the Buckley boy's direction. Big mistake. y/n couldn't help but feel the little tug her heart gave as she saw his blue eyes shine with a little hope.

Damn, why does he give me that look?

Feeling too much pressure from her friend's teasing gaze and her crush's hopeful eyes, y/n let out a quiet sigh and nodded.

"Yes, of course. Why not?" I accepted with a nervous smile, Buck smiled excitedly.

"Cool! Thank you so much, y/n!" The blonde thanked his partner without removing his huge smile.

Y/n could feel how that smile made her melt inside.

Across the seat, Eddie smiled proudly to himself, completely ignoring his friend's murderous look.

Damn you edmuno.

And damn Evan Buckley's beautiful wet puppy eyes.

And above all, damn the huge crush I have on Evan Buckley

Y/n was screwed, and it was all thanks to Eddie "Fuckin" Diaz.

What a asshole.

[absolutebl]

This Week in BL - Getting hot under the collar and in the kitchen and on the pool table and...

Organized, in each category, with ones I'm enjoying most at the top.

Aug 2024 Week 3

Ongoing Series - Thai

Monster Next Door (Thai Thurs Gaga ) eps 3-4 of 12 - one of the things I'm enjoying about this show is the fact that the introverted super shy uke is having hot fantasies, and the extroverted seme is having the sweet fantasies. It's another way this show is highlighting God being the world's greenest flagged seme BL has ever produced. (And he's being given stiff competition this year - trend alert.)

Anygay: God is so cute and so not cool and so in love and all the consent asking word salad coming out of this boy. I LOVE him. 

Diew: It’s ep 4 so I’ve decided we can talk face-to-face.  God: So how many children do you want? 

The teaching him to play basketball bit, where God politely asks to hold his hand, is so freaking adorable I can’t.

I'm thinking of calling this show the anti-Mame pill.

Blue pill? Red pill? GREEN pill!

My Love Mix-Up Th (Fri YT) ep 11 of 12 - We gotta talk. I do like this version, but it’s starting to feel lackluster. Perhaps it always was by comparison to the bright sparkle uniqueness of the original. Perhaps I didn't notice because I was distracted by G4. But now I gotta say it's become a bit disappointing and even my love for G4 can’t seem to bind me to this. Frankly, this show is making me want to watch either the Japanese version, or My School President. It’s never a good sign when a currently airing BL makes me want to stop that and go rewatch an old one I’ve already seen.

NO SINGING.

Meanwhile, the "locked on the rooftop" trope! I haven’t seen that one in years. Cool. Also cute kisses. They learning. 

This Love Doesn't Have Long Beans (Fri iQIYI) ep 7 of 8 - I can’t believe this is ending next week. But also I can. And I have thoughts.

I really love SailubPon. They might be one of my favorite newer pairs on the scene right now. But I just don’t believe in these characters or this couple. I don’t feel like they are going to have a lasting relationship. It feels like they’re just using each other for sex and distraction, and that’s how the script to set it up, and as a result they’re never gonna make it as a couple. As soon as the sexual fire between them burns out, what do they have to build a relationship on? Frankly? That would be fine if this were a modern love drama, and not a BL. But this IS a BL.

Putting the health code violators aside, I really do believe in the secondary pair, but they haven’t been given enough bandwidth to develop as a couple. There’s no way they’re going to adequately resolve Methas and JJ in the final episode.

At this juncture, I’m mostly finding this show annoying. Which in itself is annoying, because I wanted to love it.

Why is it that Thailand, the land of the best food in the world, king of BLs, struggles so hard to produce the restaurant set BL of my dreams? I’m really pissed about this.

That said, the Methas & JJ stuff is killer. Loved JJ running away. So good. Plus the age old decision - love or money? 

Battle of the Writers (Sun YT) ep 2-3 of 12 - The issue was me and I've managed to get hold of this show again. The story within the story is so ridiculously badly written I'm going spare. I’m not sure if the outside show is not ALSO badly written. That said, I do love how the 3 writer friends are all shipping our leads. It’s VERY silly. Meanwhile, cohabitation trope is a go. 

I like the side couple too. Stern Daddy + lost puppy is a very cute dynamic, I hope we get more than just crumbs. I actually am enjoying this show now. Ep 3 kinda derailed into this weird chimera novel that they’re all writing together and I’m finding that bit the least interesting, but I adore the domestic components which I think may turn out to be TutorYim's strength (if they're allowed to lean into it). 

Addicted Heroin (Thai Tues WeTV) ep 1 of 10 - Man I hope this gets some kind of distribution at some point. It was a pain to find and watch. But I enjoyed it. The focus is more on the seme in Thailand’s version. Which I don’t mind since that's rare in BL, and it’s more August on my screen. It’s all round softer than China’s version but still feels very familiar. I know some fans are struggling with it, but not me.

Sunset X Vibes (Sat iQIYI) ep 10 of 12 - I like that Sam’s crafty business espionage has paid off. Them teasing Sam & Yo really had me belly laughing. It was so funny.

Legitimate question. Would one put perfume on one’s cheeks in Thailand, as one does on wrist or sternum? Because of the sniff cheek thing? Scented face powders?

I do feel like with MosBank & SailubPon scorching up our screens, we’re being spoiled by some of Thailand‘s best high heat pairs at the moment.

I Saw You in My Dream (Weds Gaga) ep 5 of 12 - It remains kind of sweet and cute. It's also calm and slow moving. Oddly it reminds me of La Cuisine in its style and execution (if not content). I’m enjoying it more than I thought I would.

The Trainee (Sun YouTube) ep 7 of 12 - I don’t know. I’m getting bored.

Love Sea (Sun iQIYI) ep 10fin - Fort’s acting during the break-up was truly great. But I feel for Rak. It’s rough to learn that someone else is playing a long game with feelings while you were playing a short game with d**k.

Ultimately this is probably a solid 8/10 show but I’m mad I wasn’t madder at it, and I'm mad I was so bored throughout. So it gets a 7/10 and let us not speak of this again. I’d like to simply forget about it. Trash watch.

Ongoing Series - Not Thai

Sugar Dog Life (Japan Sun grey) ep 1-2 of 10 - OMG a uni student who looks young and a... COP! GAH. The subversion and kink of it all. I had to go grey to get it and I hate everything about what I had to do. But ya know what? Fucking worth every single repeated crash-causing advertisement.

I love it. The grumpy lonely little student cook and the cheerful mature police officer. What a fabulous dynamic. Is the cook looking for a boyfriend or a Daddy, and do we care if it has the same result? It is filmed VERY manga style camp. I’m a little nervous about that, but this means it’s also very fluffy and so damn sweet. It made me squeak with the cute. I’m gutted this didn’t get distribution.

Ironic that Tawada Hideya is in a new BL while Sunspot is re-airing.

Cosmetic Playlover (Japan Tues Gaga) eps 3-4 of 8 - Ah, the gays are doubting the bisexual again. How familiar. I like how this one is paced and moving through time, even if the relationship seems to be going comparatively slowly by contrast. I love the way Sahashi is always looking at Natsume, even when they’re in conversation with someone else. Ah yearning. I think the conflict was kind of inevitable, given the two personalities of the protagonists, and I like that. (No manufactured angst here.) But I still hope they can repair the breach and I’m still interested. Frankly this is so classically Japan - I don’t know what story beats it’s following and I’m not entirely sure where it’s going, but I kinda like that unpredictability. Makes me think it could go into "must you, Japan?" territory but fingers crossed.

I Hear the Sunspot AKA Hidamari ga Kikoeru (Japan Weds Gaga) ep 9 of 10 - I'm enjoying it very much. I could do without the girl character. I know she’s more interesting than most (this is Japan after all), but she’s not really for me. It’s the complexity of the connection between the leads (and why they like each other) that’s being executed so brilliantly in this show (and in the manga, FYI). Both actors are so on point with their roles and the nuanced emotions required of these characters that every time it’s only them interacting I'm riveted. I could do without the rest of the cast tho.

Seoul Blues (Korea Fri? YouTube) ep 1 of 8 - I have a confession to make, I’ve been watching this whole series as it goes along. But this is the pair I absolutely like the most. I’m not sure I would necessarily recommend any of the installments, and I’m not sure how this one is going to go, but I’m VERY invested in this particular couple. They are so pretty!!!! This is a true friends-to-lovers struggle. I like that a lot. (Reminds me of I Cannot Reach You but a different dynamic.) Did I mention how pretty they are? And we already know they gonna kiss well. I bet the uncut version is stellar.

Meet You at the Blossom (China) - It's no one's funeral, turns out! Reports are in - not only are there kisses but it ends happily with wedding plans. So I'm eating crow, binging the fucker, and live blogging. I'm enjoying it. Ya'll know I adored Chinese BL before censorship. It has a certain unhinged quality I very much apreciate (and is the reason I'm so tolerant of the Thai pulps) that I think will marry well with Wuxia's effervescent and ever-present tropes. Watch me suffer here.

First Note Of Love (Taiwan Mon Gaga) eps 1-2 of 12 - About a singer with stage fright and his timid fan starring Charles (H4 the puppy one) and Michael Chang (the youngster in My Tooth Your Love), plus side couple featuring a Thai actor Jame (Koh in Gen Y) and Liu Min Ting (of Guardian fame). What a damn team. With their powers combined they are...

fine.

This is a fine BL. The fight scene was fun and I like the meet cute. I’m not sure about the chemistry of the leads, but I think they’ll probably do okay. I admit I’m struggling a bit with a singing and the music. Are you surprised? I think I like it enough, but I’m not wowed.

Takara's Treasure AKA Takara No Vidro (Japan Mon Gaga) ep 7 of 10 - Oh! Out of the blue attack kiss. What IS this show? I don’t get it at all. Bah. I guess they’re dating now. It’s… so odd...

It's airing but...

4 Minutes (Thai Netflix/Grey) - A rich boy at uni suddenly gains the supernatural power to see four minutes into the future. I have a source, but I've decided to hold off and binge if it ends okay, since it's only 8 eps. I depend upon y'all to tell me if it's safe.

8/16 The Last Time (Thai Fri YT) ? eps - Convoluted story of loss and possible reincarnation or something. Again delayed? Not sure what's going on with this one but the continued push-backs do not bode well.

In case you missed it

The Time of Fever AKA Unintentional Love Story 2 (Korea movie) trailer IS COMING IN SEPTEMBER!!!! (Yeah this is gonna sit here until then).

Next Week Looks Like This:

Upcoming BLs for 2024 are listed here. This list is not kept updated, so please leave a comment if you know something new or RP with additions.

Still Coming This Month!

8/22 The On1y One (Taiwan Thurs Gaga) 12 eps - announced in 2023 this one has a high school set stepbrothers trope and is reputed to be high heat. From Taiwan! It's made for me. Based on a novel Mou Mou from the Your Name Engraved Herein folks, so it could go dark. Still, I'm very excited.

8/22 The Paradise of Thorns (Thai movie) theater release - Jeff Satur is back but this does not look like a BL (the gay lover's death is the inciting event). More in Goodbye Mother vein. Looks dark and dramatic. He opposite and extremely well known actor Toey Pongsakorn who has never done gay before.

THIS WEEK’S BEST MOMENTS

WHY IS HE SO FINE?

I truly belly laughed. Sam & Yo did not go in the direction I expected, but this scene alone made me not mind that they curtailed the suffering Sam was rightfully due. (SunsetXVibes)

Tall boyfriend armpit, anyone? (Monster Next Door)

The two extremes of BL in one show (Long Beans indeed).

(Last week)

Streaming services are listed by how I (usually) watch, which is with a USA based IP, and often offset by a day because time zones are a pain.

The tag BLigade: @doorajar @solitaryandwandering @my-rose-tinted-glasses @babymbbatinygirl @babymbbatinygirl @isisanna-blog @mmastertheone @pickletrip @aliceisathome @urikawa-miyuki @tokillamonger @sunflower-positiiivity @rocketturtle4 @blglplus @anythinggoesintheshire @everlightly @renafire @mestizashinrin @bl-bam-beyond @small-dark-and-delicious @saezurumurmurs

Sigh, Tumblr in its infinite wisdom doesn't like too many tags.

[hiddenzev]

Second Confession: Part 2

Pairing: Joel Miller x f!reader

Chapter Summary: She finally confesses her feelings to Joel

Chapter Warnings - Angst, One-sided love, Unrequited Love, Idiots in Love, (let me know if i missed anything)

WC: 4.2k

series masterlist , AO3

A/N: Damn guys, I didn't expect a lot of people to like this story. Thank you for all the likes and comments!! Anyway, please excuse my poor writing :(( I'm trying my best. There might be a few mistakes I've missed. I really wanted to make it so angsty but i'm lacking it sadly. Hope you guys enjoy this next part tho. :)

The rising sun is up painting the sky with beautiful rosy hue this morning. Compared to the beautiful morning, you didn’t get to have a good sleep. You were tossing and turning in your bed overthinking about today. It’s your first patrol with Joel and there’s some many thoughts running through your head playing out how it may go. You make your way, noticing that Joel must have left his house already as you pass by his house.

As you reach the ranch, you notice that Joel is checking the horse while Tommy is by his side saying something to him. Maria is standing further away with another horse which you believe to be in your care for patrols.

Maria notices you and calls you out. Both men turn to look at your form coming closer. Joel takes a quick glance at you before returning his attention back to his horse. You exchange greetings with Maria before walking over to the men.

“Morning!” You greet them.

“Morning. How are you feeling?” Tommy asks you.

“Not bad.” you lied. You’re used to doing patrols but this time it’s different because of a certain man.

“I’ve told this guy to look out for you out there, not that I think you’re not capable of taking care of yourself,” Tommy rambles on beside Joel.

“That’s fine. I get it Tommy,” You gave him a small smile.

“We’re just looking out for you because you’re our friend and this guy has a certain reputation of him y’know.” Tommy says without any care that his brother is next to him listening to what he says.

You nod and cautiously glance at Joel who has his back on you. You pick up your courage to talk to him.

“Hi Joel.” trying to hide the slight tremble in your voice to sound normal.

Joel turns slowly before stepping closer to you. Your eyes are on him the entire time. It’s insane how you are lost in his honey brown eyes that you are seeing up close for the first time since you’ve known him. You can’t help but hold your breath when he bend down slightly to look you in the eyes.

“You better not slow me down. Don’t think that just because you’re good friends with Tommy and Ellie, I will go easy on you,” he pause, “because I won’t.”

You stare at him for a few seconds before you speak, “Didn’t tell you to go easy on me.” You said in a calm voice. You are not that affected by what he said because you knew his grumpy ass is annoyed with you joining him for patrols.

His eyes widen slightly with a certain glint in his eyes. You find it cute seeing him flustered. Not wanting to break into a smile, you turn to go to your horse by Maria.

“You ready to go?” Maria asks you.

“Yup all good,” you say while inspecting your horse.

“What did you say to him? He seems pissed off,” Maria eyes Joel “Can’t stop looking over here.”

You shrug your shoulders while stroking the horse’s neck.

“You know how he is,” you smile affectionately at the horse.

“You’re sure you gonna be ok with him out there?”

“Yes I’m sure, Maria. You know me.” You reassure her.

They know that you mostly keep to yourself and mind your own business most of the time. You’re more of an observer than anything else. You try not to be socially awkward but you can’t help it sometimes. However, you don’t take any shit from anyone. You will stand up for yourself if anyone disrespect you or your loved ones. You’re not a pushover, you can be stubborn sometimes and you know exactly what you want.

Both you and Joel mount the horses and make your way to the gates with Joel leading the way. You exchange a few words with Tommy and Maria before getting out of there.

It was silent the whole time with Joel in the woods. The man didn’t even make a sound, not even a sigh. Instead, the sounds you can hear are the soft rustling of leaves when the calm morning breeze hits them, the faint chirps of the birds, the crunch of leaves and twigs below you and more of the subtle, soothing sounds of the nature.

You try to focus on checking your surroundings but your gaze will always land on Joel’s broad back in front of you. You openly observe him from behind, looking at every one of his curls that you wish you could touch. You wish to caress his head slowly, taking your time to really feel him on your fingertips. Oh you so badly wish to press your body against his back, wrap your arms around his torso and take in his scent. You can only wonder how it would feel.

You close your eyes for a few seconds to will yourself to not think about him this way.p right now. The silence from him kills you. You try to break the silence by striking a conversation.

“The weather’s good this morning, don’t you think?”

No response from him, prompting you to keep talking.

“Don’t you feel guilty appreciating something simple like the weather during a world like this?”

He is still staying silent.

“Do you love music?”

This time, he turn his head slowly to look at you with a hard glare before opening his mouth.

“Do you ever stop talking?” He said it sarcastically.

“Geez, I only asked 3 questions man.” You muttered under your breath looking away from him.

“What?” His eyes you narrowly after seeing you mumbling to yourself.

You look at him again with a forced smile.

“Nothing. I’ll keep quiet.”

He turn his body around, giving his horse a gentle nudge to quicken its pace.

The rest of the patrol with Joel is just him telling you off a couple times when he catches you not being alert enough. You can’t complain because it’s your fault for not focusing on the task, getting distracted in your own thoughts of your partner right there.

You don’t actually mind his attitude out here because him calling out your mistakes only means that he cares about your safety. Even if it’s just a teeny tiny bit. Compared to his approach on other things, he teaches you some tips in a gentler way.

Patrol duty isn’t your favourite because you hate the risk of being out here but there isn’t any choice when there is only a limited amount of manpower for this dangerous duty. You have worked with a couple of people over the years for patrol and weirdly you feel the safest with Joel and it’s only your first day with him.

The patrol shift ends the same way as it started. Masked with the heavy air of stillness with Joel Miller. You’re assuming that he’s using this patrol to probably feel you out to see your skills and make sure you’re strong enough to be his partner. You on the other hand, were busy checking him out with any opportunity that you can. It’s embarrassing at this point.

After the shift handover with the next patrollers, the horses are return to the ranch to be taken care of. Joel went off first after giving you a slight nod. You stay awhile back to be with the horses. You strangely feel proud seeing that he acknowledges you this time. Him giving you not even the bare minimum of manners and you’re out here having your heart flutters over it. Damn. He really have you wrapped around his little finger and he doesn’t even know it.

You heard footsteps behind you as you look emptily at the horses feeding themselves.

“Hey!” Ellie exclaim.

“Hey,” you say with a tired smile on your face.

“Where’s Joel?”

“You just missed him. He left a couple minutes ago,”

“How’s your first patrol with him?” A sly smile on her face that you didn’t catch as you look away from her.

“Unexpectedly, not bad,”

“See! I told you that you can stand his ‘grumpy old man’ attitude!” She smile knowingly.

“What evidence do you have to say that?” Your eyebrows knitted in confusion.

“Intuition,” she winks at you.

“Yeah, right.” You rolled your eyes and slowly make your way out of the ranch. Ellie follows behind you closely before getting next to you. She keeps looking at you with a mischievous grin on her face. You put your arms over her shoulders pulling her in and jokingly put her in a headlock. She giggles loudly and that make you laugh as well.

You have been on a couple of patrols with Joel after that. He is not as tense as the first patrol and have been more open than before. Well, slightly but that is still something. Like you have expected, he’s someone who is just misunderstood. You like that you get to see different sides of him through the patrols.

As time goes on, you try to figure out the right time to tell him your feelings that are only getting stronger. There were some opportunities when there were only the two of you alone that you still couldn’t take.

To be honest, you plan to give him a little gift. Before the outbreak, you love to collect random little stuffs that you find cute or interesting. You still do that after the outbreak while you are out finding supplies.

There is this one guitar pick in your collection that has a design that you find cute but corny at the same time and you want to give it to him. You’re sure he’s not going to be amused with it but you do want to see his reaction to seeing it.

You did hear from Ellie one time that Joel likes to do some wood carvings and that recently he’s starting to do wood carvings of chess pieces. Ellie doesn’t know what chess is. She only know that it is a board game from what Joel had said and she is looking forward to learn it after he finish working on it.

With that information, you secretly start to practice carving chess pieces from wood that you can find or attain from someone in the community. You have finished one perfect piece of a horse. The horse piece is the most difficult one to do as it has more complicated details unlike the rest of the pieces. You hope that at least this would open his heart a little bit more for you.All you need to do is to get a chance to be alone with him and just go for it.

You’re in the tipsy bison, alone, conflicted with how you’re going to go about this. You feel a hand on your shoulder and you turn to look over it to see Tommy smiling softly at you. He slides into the chair opposite you with his drink.

“Hey, everything alright?”

“Of course, why wouldn’t they?” You tried to give a convincing smile.

“How long have we known each other, huh? I know when there’s something bothering you. You know you can tell me anything right?”

You look down on your hands, don’t know whether to confide in him about Joel.

“Is it Joel?”

You raise your head looking at him with wide eyes, shocked by what he said. Too stunned to speak, you just look at him with your mouth slightly parted.

“I’ve been noticing some things and let me hold your hand telling you this,” he reaches out to hold one of your hands, “it’s kinda obvious,”

“Really?” You ask him softly.

“It is to me since we’re close and I’m actually a little hurt that you didn’t tell me. I thought I’m your closest friend here,” he jokingly put his hand over his heart.

“I didn’t tell anyone especially not you since you’re his brother. I don’t know how you would feel about that y’know. Just thought it was just a silly little crush that would go away after a short period of time but here I am,” you tell the truth.

“How long?”

“Ever since he’s been here,” you softly said, avoiding looking at him, shy about your year long crush on his brother.

“Damn, should have told me. I could help you out a lil bit,”

“How? I think you would have made it worse.” you chuckle at him.

He laughed out loud. You're glad that Tommy doesn't find any problem with your crush on his big brother.

"Are you gonna tell him? cause damn girl, a year is crazyyyyy" He sips on his drink.

"That's the problem, Tommy. I don't know how to and you know him better than I do. He ain't gonna be nice about it,"

"True. He's stubborn and is an asshole most of the time but he do have a good heart somewhere inside him. I know that. I'll help you and maybe after all this time, you're the one that could crack him."

Since then, Tommy has been creating chances for you to be alone with Joel. Getting the both of you alone at the end of breakfast, putting the both of you in other duties together, excusing himself when there’s only the three of you in the bar, etc. Tommy doing all of this only makes it so obvious to the both of you on his intention and it makes it more awkward to be around Joel.

During the time when you are stuck with him, you did try to break the ice more but he’s still the same cold and distant Joel. Not wanting to stay with you much longer, he would try to get away as fast as possible avoiding as much interaction with you.

Ellie caught you and Tommy talking one time at your back porch. You were telling Tommy to not interfere anymore because it’s getting awkward with Joel and Tommy were insisting on inviting everyone for dinner at his house at the end of the week. Both of you were so caught up in the conversation that you didn’t realise Ellie came looking for you.

“Come on, it’s just a dinner. We’ve had some dinner nights at my house before,” Tommy persuading you.

“Yeah but now you’re going to have something up your sleeves to push me and Joel together or something. I don’t know. It’s awkward man!”

“What’s so awkward?” Ellie’s voice startled you and Tommy. She came out from the side of the house and slowly made her way to stand between where you and Tommy were sitting.

Tommy and you just looked at each other, don’t know what to say to Ellie.

“If it’s about you and Joel, I already knew that.” she shrugged her shoulders sitting on your porch’s steps.

Still on edge, you and Tommy did not say anything.

“I have eyes, I see how you look at him. In fact, you ALWAYS look at him,” she chuckled looking at your shocked expression.

“Okay, that’s enough,” you told her to stop talking, feeling shy that your friends have been suspecting your feelings for Joel all this time.

“You look at him like he’s the most beautiful person in this world,” she imitated a vomiting motion after saying that.

“Ellie!” you hid your face with both of your hands while Tommy and Ellie laughed at you.

“With your big mouth, I can’t believe you never said anything to me about it,” you continued after their laugh subsided.

“I wasn’t exactly sure and I don’t want to make you uncomfortable,” you give her a small comforting smile. “So are you gonna tell him?”

“Most likely,”

“What do you think he’s gonna say?”

“I don’t know. I don’t think he’s gonna like it. No matter what the outcome is, what really matters is he knows that at least there’s one more person in this world that actually cares about him.” you sigh heavily.

The three of you said your goodbyes that night after Tommy and Ellie gave you some encouragement about the whole situation.

Dinner at Tommy’s is like the calm before the storm. Joel is seated between you and Ellie. Maria who is sitting across you is talking with Tommy about their plans to decorate their extra room for their baby. You’re excited for them. You feel a little envious as you don’t think you will ever find a love like that in this apocalypse. You have always dreamed of starting a family. Right now, it is just a faraway dream that you could never hope to come to reality.

Your legs keep shaking nervously under the table. You’re always nervous around Joel but sitting beside him for this long is just making it worse. Additionally, you have the gift that you prepared for him in the side pocket of your cargo pants. After adding a letter to the two little gifts, you wrapped it up in a small nice paper packaging that you can find. Ever since then, you carried it around with you, don’t know when you will find the right time.

Picking at your food mindlessly, you feel a big strong hand on your right thigh. You immediately stop shaking and look down to your thigh. It’s none other than the man himself. You shift your gaze to him seeing that he’s already looking at you. He leans in a slightly and whispers,

“Stop it.” he immediately removes his hand and continues to eat his food right after telling you off.

Speechless, you force food down your throat as if it will get rid of his lingering touch on your thigh. You’re more aware of your legs now and you try your best to not shake your legs subconsciously. Although a part of you wishes to do it so that you can feel his hand on your thigh again.

You didn’t talk much for the rest of the dinner, distracted by what had happened. Tommy tries to make eye contact with you a couple times to signal something to you. You avoid looking at him so that he takes the hint to stop whatever kind of ideas in his head right now.

Dinner ended in a peaceful way thankfully. There were some dinners before that ended with some arguments usually between Joel and Ellie or Tommy and Joel. On those dinners, you just look on and try not to interfere at all unless it gets too far.

Ellie has already went off to find her friends for movie night. Tommy and Maria are slowly cleaning things up while you and Joel try to help them a little bit. They insist that they don't need any help from you guys and thank the both of you for coming to dinner.

That's how you ended up in this situation where you and Joel are walking back home together. As usual, there wasn't much talking. The conversation died after you talked about how great dinner was and he agreed. You didn't walk long before both of you reach the front of his house first.

"G'nite." he clears his throat before saying softly under his breath. Not waiting for your reply, he turns to walk to his front door.

"Sorry about earlier." you quickly said. You meant that you were sorry about shaking your legs that it bothered him.

He stops walking halfway to his front door and turns to you.

"It's fine. Didn't mean to touch you. It was bothering me. Sorry." his eyes were on you for a few seconds at first before darting anywhere else other than you. He walks away to his front door. You don't know overcame you. Maybe you're just riding the good energy from tonight, you take a few steps closer to him and calls him.

"Umm, Joel," you call him.

He stops before putting his house key in. He turns back around not saying anything. He’s waiting for you to continue what you have to say. You walk to the front of his steps nervously.

“I want to tell you something.” You look up eyeing his movements. He sighs before making his way down the steps to stand in front of you. You awkwardly stands there for a moment before remembering his gift. You take it out and hand it over to him.

“This is for you. Thought you might like it,” you look at him inspecting the small wrapped gift in his hands.

“What is it?” he looks at you with his brows knitted in confusion.

“Well you have to open it to find out,” you put your hands in your front pockets to hide your fists that are clenching due to the tension.

“Why? Why are you giving me this?” he looks at you with unwavering eyes. You look down at your shoes to avoid looking in his eyes that make it seem as if he could read whatever is on your mind. Your voice is stuck in your throat with the words that you want to say are on the tip of your tongue.

“What do you want from me? Do you need something in return for this?” He asks thinking that the gift is some kind of a trade deal.

“No. Nothing like that.” You shake your head looking at the gift in his hands.

“Then what?”

Your brain is running in full speed, contemplating if this is the right moment to confess to him. You’re swaying from side to side, eyes darting everywhere except the brown eyes in front of you.

“I don’t have the time for this,” he sighs heavily turning his body to walk back to the door.

“I like you,” you blurt it out quickly, panicking that you just said those words out loud to him.

“What?” he turns back to you in a flash, not believing what you had just said.

You pause for a moment to calm yourself down and gather your thoughts. You take a deep breath before speaking.

“I like you, Joel. I don’t know exactly when or how but gradually, my mind has been flooding with thoughts of you ever since you came here. I’ve known you for a year now and these feelings are not going away at all. I thought it’s time for me to let it all out before it’s too late. I don’t want to regret not telling you that I do care about you. More than you know. I know you may think this is silly and I don’t expect anything from you-“

“You’re right. Don’t expect anything from me.” He interrupts you with a harden look in his eyes now.

“I don’t know what you’re thinking but let me clarify it again for you,” he closes the gap between the two of you and look straight into your eyes. You can’t help but to tilt your head up more, not able to tear your eyes away from him.

“There’s nothing between us. It never will be anything other than you being Tommy’s friend or Ellie’s friend to me. I’m just tolerating you for their sake. Without them, you’re just another person in Jackson that I don’t give a fuck about.” you lower your gaze to his chest. You predicted that he is going to be worked up about this but hearing that he actually doesn’t care about you kinda hurt your feelings a little.

“Wake up, darling. We’re in the apocalypse and you’re out here telling me about your little crush on me. This is stupid. I thought you’re better than this. I already have a lot on my plate to be dealing with this bullshit.” he sighs, raising his head to look at the dark sky.

All kinds of emotions are running through you. You knew this would happen. You knew that he will criticise you for it but you still did it. You thought that you could take it but your sensitive little heart betrayed you. Why are you sad for even disappointing him?

“Take this back.” He shoves your gift to your front, waiting for you to take it from him.

Your hands still in your pockets, you stayed still. You feel so embarrassed that you cannot move your body.

“Fine. Whatever.” he drops the gift right in front of your feet and walk to his door.

You hear keys jingling before the door opens and not long after that the door slam shut. You’re frozen in your place still staring at the gift below you. The images of the past year runs through your head. The amount of time spent thinking about him, wondering if he’s okay or not, secretly listening to him playing guitar and to you making the effort to gift him something he would like. All the little things amounted to this at the end.

Suddenly, you feel the anger rise inside of you. You feel so stupid. Why of all people, it must be Joel that you have feelings for? You feel angry at yourself for feeling this way. You don’t even blame Joel because he’s right. This isn’t the time to be occupied with stupid little feelings.

With jaws clenched, you pick up the wrapped gift and throws it hard against his front door. Fuck this. You don’t care what he’s going to say. You walk off angrily with long strides back to your house. In your head, you think that at least you said your feelings for him truthfully. It’s done and dusted. Time for you to move on from him.

next part

Thank you for reading this chapter! The next update probably will be in a week or so, hopefully!

Taglist: @greenwitchfromthewoods @rebeccawinters @cuteanimalmama