#Maming Mutuals May

[mr-orion]

Happy Maming Mutuals May!

It's not a holiday yet, its actually just your guy's warning

[ghost-likes-drawing]

Early Morning Glass

(Slimariana/Misclick duo) Fluff

This is for @keezers for helping me with Spanish translations for "Just Wish I Knew What Caused it"

Words 1179

Read it on Ao3

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It was 6am. Way too early for almost anything but Mariana couldn't sleep any longer so he decided he may as well try and figure out how to make “drip coffee” before Slime woke up as a suprise.

He was hunched over the counter reading the article for the 5th time trying to blink the sleep out of his eyes when a body pressed against his.

“Mariana what the fuck” Slime whined wrapping his arms around Mariana

“Go back to bed asshole,” he placed a hand on Slime’s “I'm making you something.”

Slime didn't go back to bed. Instead he hummed, then huffed, before putting Mariana’s glasses on his face. Oh that's why he couldn't read the article.

“Ahhh thank you.” He chuckled turning a bit to kiss Slime’s cheek. Slime in turn held on to Mariana tighter.

“Go back to bed.” Mariana chuckled trying to push Slime off half heartedly.

Slime stayed “Not without my Bitch Wife” He smiled his hands shifting to gently scratch at Mariana’s stomach before kissing the back of his neck. “Don't make me go alone” He rests his forehead head on Mariana’s shoulder.

Mariana sighed “fine fine. Let me turn around.”

Slime loosened up his hug to let Mariana turn around before Slime pulled him in closer.

Mariana chuckled and wrapped his arms around Slime before leaning against the counter.

“Why can't you go back to bed without me?”

Slime burries his head right into the space between Mariana’s neck and shoulder “… I don't sleep as well if you're not there man… you're so warm” Slime takes a pause “my goop needs you.” He says trying not to giggle.

Mariana had to stop himself from giggling as he lets one of his hands go into Slime’s “hair” And scratch gently causing Slime to, figuratively, melt.

Mariana humms and whispers “yea I sleep better next to you too man…” he kisses the top of Slime’s head.

Slime in turn kisses Mariana’s neck

“Want to know what I found out during bed time?” Mariana asked

“What?” Slime said nuzzling in more as he makes a trail of kisses in Mariana’s skin gently and lovingly.

“Pepito doesn't know why you and Sunny live here too.” Mariana chuckled.

Slime pulls away slightly to look at Mariana “what?”

“He thinks that you two are having a sleepover.”

Slime smiles and chuckles “What? What about the Flippas?”

“He understands Juana and… the other one… is both of ours and she lives here.” Mariana shrugs.

“Come on man don't call our other daughter ‘the other one’ that's just rude.” Slime scolds teasingly

“I know, sorry. We need to get her a name though.” Mariana sighed

Slime nodded in agreement “okay. but like how does he-”

“To be fair, Sunny… they usually live with Tubbo.” Mariana offers

“Yea but I just happen to be having sleepovers whenever Pepito is here? Which is pretty often” Slime says laughing and trying to be quiet, wanting to be mindful of the sleeping children upstairs.

Mariana shrugged

“What did you tell him?”

“Well he was asking when you were going home and I told him I'd ask you.” Mariana chuckled and kisses Slime’s cheek. Slime melted more litterally and Mariana grimaced as some of Slime came off on his lip and started trying to blow it off.

Slime tried to hold back his laughter but was failing “god that kid is so stupid…”

“Hey man! Noooo nooo he's not. He's just related to Quackity! That's not his fault! No mames! You didn't just say that to me about my son what the fuck?” Mariana said trying not to laugh harder than Slime was and was also failing.

They bagan to shh eachother putting fingers to lips and moving closer together until their lips fell on to one another's and the only thing keeping them both quiet was a mutual agreement to not let the moment end.

Slime’s hand went to Mariana’s leg but Mariana grabbed both of Slimes’s hands putting them to his waist before holding Slime’s face with hisown. He pulled away.

“Not now… just this right now.” Marian breathed eyes still closed.

“Okay.” Slime agreed before their lips fell against each other once again.

All things considered it wasn't a deep kiss at all. Tongues stayed inside the mouth of whoever it was attached too but somehow they still came away with strings of spit connecting them… or maybe that was part of Slime. It was a little hard to tell.

They were both smiling. It was like heaven.

It was better than heaven because they were together and they were alive.

“Can we sit down?” Slime asked finding himself still desperate for rest.

Mariana hummed and led Slime over to their couch sitting down with him before slime was resting on Mariana’s shoulder again.

“I love you so much. I'm so glad we got paired together to raise Flippa and I'm so glad you agreed to take in the poor girl pretending to be her and I'm so happy to have just this life with you-” Slime said blinking away happy tears

“Who are you and what have you done with Slime?!” Mariana chuckled and Slime scoffed sitting up to look at Mariana in the eyes

“Excuse you. I am capable of having serious emotions.” Slime chuckled at the smile Mariana was giving him “but I was about to say that it was Despite the fact you're a slut and a whore”

“Wooooow” Mariana mused

“My Bitch Wife” Slime hummed leaning in again. He looked at Mariana’s lips. “Who I love”

Mariana hummed and kissed Slime for a few seconds arms wrapping around him, under Slime’s arms. Slime in turn wrapped his arms around Mariana and pushed him to lay down on the couch.

“Ayyyy what are you doing?” Mariana scolded.

Slime just hummed and shimmied to lay his head on Mariana’s chest. “It's still to early… so I'm going back to sleep.”

“No mames, Slime. Please, I was trying to do something.” Mariana said making a half hearted attempt to move his husband.

“Tell me where you got the kettle and I'll let you up” Slime huffed

Mariana paused “At least let me turn it off?”

Slime got up and turned it off himself before sliding back ontop of Mariana who already had his arms open waiting.

Slime tucked himself into his spot and yawned.

“Sleep well Slime.” Mariana cooed running his hands over Slime’s back.

“You too.” Slime was asleep in seconds.

Mariana sat there trying to see if there was a way out. There wasn't so he sighed and closed his eyes.

it seemed all he needed was the weight of his husband to get back to sleep.

[halliescomut]

Love Sea Episode 1 Thoughts

My overall thoughts and musings for Ep 1 of Love Sea. Disclaimers: I did not read the novel. I may talk about Mame's use of problematic tropes and overall troubling storytelling, but I may not. I'm not here to grade the quality of her work. Mame as a creator is known for specific issues, and I'm not necessarily ignoring them or approving of them just because I don't call them out. I have seen every Mame show multiple times, so I am indeed well aware.

Okay getting started on ep one, I will start with my two 'complaints' that are sort of connected. The tone of the episode has some pretty wild swings. The most notable is on the boat when Rak is upset, and then it cuts to what is probably 15 minutes later when he's calmed down and they're flirting again. The tone shift is just kind of disorienting in the instance. The tone shifts throught the rest of the episode seem more based around who is the 'subject' whether Mut, Rak, or Mook and so make more sense, but are still kinda sharp. Secondly, while I know Mame isn't they type to take things slow really, I did kind of feel like the hug on the boat was a bit too soon. It's not that it was necessarily out of character for Mut, because I don't think it was, but just that he still doesn't know Rak so going in for that hug was really a leap.

What I did like:

I'm very much a fan of the country mouse, city mouse type of story, and just the general humor that comes from having a CitySlickers kind of plot, so I do enjoy the bits of humor related to Rak now being in a pretty rural community, and I'm hoping that the opposite does present similar comedic opportunities when Mut goes to Bangkok with Rak. That being said it is a bit of a fine line between fish out of water humor and kind of degrading someone because they aren't familiar with an environment they never had the ability or opportunity to experience, so hopefully that line is tread carefully.

I'm interested in learning more about Rak and his kind of writing hang ups. The information that gets introduced is that Rak writes romance novels, but he can't write sex scenes if he's not like actively involved in a sexual relationship.

I'm wondering if this will be an explicit inclusion of and Ace or Aro character, which is fairly rare in media overall, but especially in Thai BL, when having a character say they are explicitly gay is a fairly recent development. Mame in particular has been overall more inclusive of different sexualities, having explicitly Pansexual and Bisexual characters, as well as Gay and Lesbian characters. And there are many valid reasons to read Ae from Love by Chance as Aromantic or Asexual (or both really) but it's is never explicitly said. So having Rak be Aro would be a wonderful step forward there. Overall I'm interested in how this particular storyline plays out.

We don't really learn much more about Rak this episode, which feels appropriate, because he's meant to be closed off. So I imagine we will learn more about him as Mut learns more about him. I do know that there are people that find characters like Rak, Sky, or even Type off putting as they're often very rude in order to keep people at arms length, but I do have a soft spot for cranky characters with emotional walls. IRL their behavior would be frustrating and I would not appreciate it, but in fiction I will allow it and often enjoy it.

As far as what we learn about Mut, he is interested in money, but he doesn't want it just for nothing. He makes it clear that he really only wants it in trade for doing the work he's been hired to do, which does indicate his overall honorable personality. We see that he's pretty beloved and trusted by his community, which kind of confirms that honorability. If he were some shady beach bum people wouldn't trust him the way they do. We also see that Mut takes active interest in his community and it's members, so it's clearly mutual respect and affection. It's pretty clear to me that this is shown to us, the audience, to reinforce that Mut for all of his playfulness is a responisible and kind person, so we feel comfortable with him pursuing Rak. I think it's also something likely to be observed by Rak in future episodes to help him feel more secure with Mut.

Overall, outside of setting up the story and initial attraction with Mut and Rak, there isn't a whole lot else of note. We do get the introduction of Mook and Vi, the GL side couple. They have two very short scenes, so we truly don't learn a lout more than their names, and we're all aware that the GL side couple in Wedding Plan was lacking, so here's hoping this attempt it better.

The views and the setting of the episode are absolutely gorgeous, and there are some very long shots that take in that environment and setting. It's something that I don't know is necessary, but I definitely understand the reasoning since it is some really beautiful scenery.

I was also a bit concerned with how 'similar' Mut and Rak would be to Prapai and Sky, and while there are clearly parallels, I don't feel like it's a cut and pasting of them into a different setting.

Additional kind of negative note: don't love the line reinforcing colorism "your pale skin shows you're pure of heart"...it's not great. Especially when you combine it with them leaning into a common colorism casting trope of a darker complected actor playing a 'poor' character and a paler complected actor playing a 'rich' character. Like yes the difference in complexion would make sense since Mut and the other members of his community would just be outside often and for extended periods, it's still kind iffy. Also not a huge fan of the whole conversation about hair removal and the reinforcement of that beauty standard. Granted it's up to an individual what they want to do with their own body hair, but it does still set an unrealistic standard and that's unfortunate.

[lutawolf]

hi luta, i just want so slide by and say thank you

for bringing kind metas (posts) on lita/prapaisky , and mame's a bit too. i am forever grateful.

--

im a tumblr user for bl stuff in 2020, followed some huge blogs & learned a lot about bl cuz im fairly new. i had forgotten about it until i rejoined a couple months ago for prapaisky' lita -- expecting to share the same excitement / reading wonderful metas / learning things again

i ... im pretty perplexed to read the blogs i used to read for info / metas im looking forward to ... expressed mean, mean, things.

i felt nauseous. i didnt realize the people whose metas i used to love can be so. cruel. i had hoped i can find some articulation of what I felt, as a shared feelings, but not only i didnt find it, i, felt ashamed to even had my feelings from the first place. i had to dived in the tag rabbit hole and finally found blogs that expressed the opposites, and thank god i did. thank god i did.

(followed them right away, n unfollow thw prev blogs that i now, see, as ... no)

this tho, had me actually ignored the whole tag whlist it airs, and put notif on for the ones i now value, yours included. it got me thru the whole journey of ep11-13, especially, Especially, 12. the special ep tho, the special ep got me branched out again towards the tag and see people bashing it again undermining it as the sex ep. and kinkshaming rain. is it so bad to have a happy, mutual, consent sexual relationship? i thought we dont kinkshame now

i . i dont know what to think. i am sorry to barging in like this. i just. all these upsetting experience piled up and i just. had to. express my gratitude that u at least shown me the kind side of this perspective.

i apologize for the incoherency, english is not my first language, i wish this isnt too rude..

no need to answer this if u dont want to, i just, had to say it to you. all the love, anon.

Hey Hey lil 🐇,

First, let me say welcome back to Tumblr! I'm actually pretty new. I reached a year anniversary this month. Though I am not new to bl at all. I'm OG there.

Negative reviews are a part of life. However, there is a difference between being hateful and writing a neg review. There is a difference between cancel culture and I don't watch this or participate in this type of art. I think that people are failing to see the differences. Life is not white and black.

There will always be kink shaming. It's not from men though. It's from women. These same women that are talking shit, reading romance on their kindle when no one is looking and wouldn't think twice about their boyfriend asking them to wear a French maid costume. As an amazing friend once told me, this is your room and you cultivate it the way you need to. He blocks people left and right, creating the atmosphere that he wants on Tumblr. I've learned to do the same. I may end up in a bubble but it's a tiny community of people I truly enjoy and love.

Never apologize for English being your second language. Being bilingual is an accomplishment that should only get love not judgement. You guys will never and I mean NEVER see me criticize the way someone writes, from spelling to commas, to anything. I'll never do it. I might ask for clarification but there will never be criticism. We are all here to learn and better ourselves and that is not accomplished by sitting in judgement.

I really appreciate that you read my blog and enjoy it. It means the world to me that you guys reach out to me. All the love. Wishing you the best. Thank you, 💜💜💜

[kimhortons]

saw and read a post from a mutual about her mom’s passing, honestly naluha ako. ang bigat talaga sa damdamin mawalan. bigla ko na nanaman tuloy namiss si mame. sana pala niyakap at hinalikan ko nalang siya nung gabi bago siya nawala. sana lahat ng tawag niya noon nasagot ko, sana nabigay ko man lang yung mga gusto niya, kasi kahit nung may sakit pa siya gusto niya siya parin yung nag proprovide. sana naipakita ko yung care ko sakanya, lalo nung masasakit na salita pa nakukuha niya mula sa tatay ko nung may sakit siya, sana nacomfort ko man lang siya, sana hindi nalang sumama yung loob ko sakanya sa mga naging desisyon niya sa buhay, sana kaya ko pa iparamdam na mahal ko siya. iniisip ko rin lagi, paano pag kinasal ako wala siya sa tabi ko, yun pa naman yung inaantay niya sayang at hindi niya na inabot. may kirot parin tuwing naaalala ko yung araw na yun, sa hirap na dinanas niya sana masaya at nasa mabuting kalagayan na siya ngayon.

[sirenprincess15]

Please Don't Leave Me Chapter 15

Title: Please Don’t Leave Me

Author: SirenPrincess

Description: What if Aleksander hadn’t answered the door when Ivan interrupted the war room kissing? What if Aleksander and Alina had a bit more time to get to know each other before Baghra told her his true identity? Alina is the only one who can comfort Aleksander through his nightmares. Will she leave once she knows who he is?

This story is based on the show version and features a soft on the inside, hard on the outside Aleksander with an emphasis on emotional hurt/comfort and angst. If you are looking for lots of hurt!Aleksander thoughts, then this story is for you. Mal exists but pretty much solely to cause Aleksander some angst. Don’t worry. It will be a Darklina ending.

Chapter 1 is a missing scene at the end of Ep 4, and Chapter 2 takes place alongside Ep 5 and then diverges from canon there.

Pairings: Aleksander Morozova/Alina Starkov, bits of Ivan/Fedyor

Rating: PG-13

Warnings: Grisha are oppressed in this universe, and I don’t shy away from showing the horrors of that. There may eventually be mentions of canon-typical torture (Fjerdan pyres), death of family members, and cruelty to Grisha children. It’s not the focus, but that backdrop is definitely there and comes up as characters discuss their past.

In this chapter: Aleksander struggles to share his secrets with Alina until he finds her upset and needing him.

Recommended listening: Lady A "Need You Now"

Chapter 15

They went on that way for a couple of days. Alina spent most of her time with the tracker. It tore Aleksander up but he permitted it for her. Most of Aleksander’s time was spent handling details of the war, receiving intelligence reports, and managing Ravka. Keeping everyone alive kept him focused.

It was the evenings he spent alone that were driving him mad. He kept thinking of Alina’s desire to be fully honest with each other and Fedyor’s words of the importance of knowing and accepting a partner wholly, even with flaws. He had always been a strategist, always played through all scenarios in his head a thousand times until he arrived at one he liked. No matter what scenario he envisioned with Alina, none of them ever turned out as he desired. He desperately longed for the kind of love and acceptance that Alina called for. There had been so many years alone where he had yearned for someone to share things with. However, every time he tried to plan the discussion of one of his secrets, it all went to hell quickly. He had even spent one evening writing it all out for her in the hopes that would help him solidify his thoughts. It hadn’t, and he’d burned it all as he realized how beyond stupid it would be to give her such information in writing.

The problem, he realized, was that he could eloquently justify every decision he had made, but no matter how he poured his heart out into explaining it all, none of that would make the truth any less horrible. Marie was dead--that knowledge would hurt Alina, and he just couldn’t stand the idea of her experiencing all that pain. Genya was his spy--without the centuries of seeing Grisha persecuted to understand what it meant if they lost this war, without seeing the king’s ineptness firsthand, seeing the battalions they had lost because of inadequate supplies and wasted funds, she would never be able to understand this decision. It was unforgivable to leave Genya in that situation. He knew it was, even if Genya had agreed to stay in it herself. That didn’t mean it wasn’t the necessary decision, too. They weren’t mutually exclusive, but Alina would never be able to grasp that. He had a way to potentially take control of her power and use it against her will--would she ever believe he didn’t intend to use it? Was that even really true? He had always hated the idea and told everyone they would not be using it, but deep down he had always known it was the back-up plan. Could he even say he didn’t intend to use it if he knew there were circumstances where he would? All the thoughts swirled in his head and threatened to take him past his breaking point. And then she would be there to help him sleep and somehow it was enough to get him through the next day.

He was stuck, and he didn’t see a way out of this pattern. He couldn’t stop thinking of ways to try to explain things to her. He needed her. His desire for her to actually accept him was overwhelming. But how could she? As he imagined trying to explain things to her, he saw things through her eyes. It was a fresh perspective, and what he saw was horrifying. It all caused him horrible guilt, and, yet, he knew he would make the same decisions again. Over the centuries, he had become numb to accepting the small pains to prevent the true horrors. Alina had reignited emotion inside him, and suddenly everything was raw again.

Aleksander looked at the clock and groaned. It would still be several hours before Alina would visit his chambers to help him sleep. He could not take another night of tearing himself apart while trying to come up with words to help Alina understand how the murder and torture of Grisha over the centuries had forced him to make harder and harder choices. He should get up and do something productive, something, anything to keep his mind active. The library might be a good idea. He thought he had most of the good sources on the Stag in his chambers, but there could still be some good books with more information on relics in general that he and David had not yet read that could at least keep his mind engaged. There was the added bonus that the library reminded him of happier times with Alina. He had never seen someone smile so broadly at books. The memory of stolen kisses between the shelves brought a smile to his face.

Decision made, Aleksander strode to the library. He froze when he saw Ivan hovering near an alcove. Ivan was supposed to be guarding Alina. Aleksander raised an eyebrow, and Ivan gestured with his chin toward the alcove. Years of working together made a silent exchange possible. Alina was in the alcove, and Ivan thought Aleksander should go in there.

“Alina,” Aleksander gasped as he took in her appearance. In her nightgown and robe, she was disheveled, hair a mess, with tears in her eyes.

She desperately tried to wipe the tears away when she saw him. “Aleksander.”

“You’re crying,” he whispered as he closed the distance between them.

“It’s nothing. I’m just tired.”

He reached out and tilted her chin until she met his eyes. “You never let me get away with that line.”

The tears started to fall again. He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her to his chest. To his surprise, she started sobbing. He tentatively sent his power through to her. It caressed against hers and begged for a response. This time, she let the connection flow between them. Emotions echoed back and forth with the familiar comfort of each other. She was sad, confused, scared. He was concerned. He made sure to let her feel his love for her, whether she wanted it or not.

“I missed this,” she whispered after a long while.

He blinked. Didn’t she know she was in control of that? He constantly longed for the connection with her. She was the one who decided when they were allowed to have this. “I missed you.”

She sighed and finally let go of the stress in her. In their bond, she pulled for his comfort.

“Did he hurt you?” It was a quiet question, but there was a clear threat in his tone. If the tracker had harmed her, there was nothing that would stop him from enjoying that man’s death.

“No,” she responded quickly. “It’s nothing like that.”

“Are things not going the way you want with the tracker?” He tried not to enjoy that idea. Alina was hurting. That was bad even if it would result in the tracker being out of the picture.

“You’ll be relieved to know that we’ve realized what we are to each other and it’s family. I tried to kiss him. It was awful. So awful, Aleksander.” She made a face and then gave a soft little laugh. “I do love him, but that felt so wrong, and I realized it’s because he’s like my brother.”

“That is not why you are crying, though.” He could tell. He couldn’t let himself become distracted by the jealousy he felt at the idea of the tracker’s lips on hers, even if it was awful as she said. She was comfortable with the decision that the relationship with the tracker was not romantic. He might take more joy in that, but he could not because something else was devastating her. “Whatever it is, you know you can tell me.”

“I’m afraid it will upset you.”

Because the tracker had actually hurt her? Because she was going to say something against Aleksander? Something to break his heart? “I can take it.” He kissed the top of her forehead. “If I somehow found a way to talk to you about the Fold, you can share this with me.”

She looked up at him with uncertainty in her eyes. “I can’t. You’ll hurt him or ... lock him in the dungeons.”

So this was about the tracker. He might very much like to kill, mame, or at least imprison the tracker for whatever she was about to say next, but he knew she wouldn’t tell him unless he agreed not to hurt that idiot and she could feel that he meant it. He took her hand in his so she could get a strong read of his emotions. “I promise I won’t hurt him without your permission.” That, at least, he could agree to. He’d just convince her to let him kill the tracker if that was called for.

Unable to look him in the eye as she spoke, she focused her gaze on the floor and whispered. “He wants us to run away and hide. He has a whole plan. I tried to explain how I can’t do that. I can’t hide my power. I told him how sick it used to make me. I didn’t understand what was causing it at the time, but now I do and I can’t go back to not being able to eat or sleep, to feeling so exhausted constantly. Nadia told me some stories of Grisha who tried to suppress their powers and got seriously ill. But he just keeps saying it will be fine just for a little while.”

Aleksander tried not to react to the news that the tracker was trying to escape with her, but Alina could probably feel his response. Anger was there, of course, but more than anything it triggered his protective instincts. He swallowed as he tried to push away any concerns of the tracker stealing her out of his safe space in the Little Palace. That wasn’t why Alina had told him or what she was asking for his help with. “He doesn’t accept you as you are, but it’s only because he doesn’t understand you. What we are is impossible for him to comprehend.”

She leaned against his chest so he could wrap his arms back around her. “He keeps saying things against Grisha. Not against me, he says not me, but … I don’t even think he realizes he’s doing it half the time. ‘We can’t trust her, she’s Grisha.’ ‘Those people always have tricks up their sleeves.’ Please don’t be mad at him. He isn’t trying to hurt me, but it does.”

“Prejudice against our kind is something learned at an early age. It’s so ingrained in Ravkan society, worse so in other countries, he probably does not realize that it is hate he is speaking.” He took a deep breath. “I’m not trying to defend or slander him. It’s the truth you need to hear, Alina. He is otkazat’sya. You are Grisha. They have always hated our kind. Fight as we may to be accepted, we never are.”

“I’m tired of feeling so … foreign … other.” She sighed.

“Do you feel like that here at the Little Palace? When you are with me?”

“No, and when he says things like that … I … It’s stupid. I’m so stupid.”

She knew he couldn’t stand for her to put herself down, but he was trying to get her to open up and let all her feelings out, so he didn’t correct her. “Tell me. All of it.”

“I’m a mess, Aleksander. I’m such a mess.”

“You hold me together when I am a mess. I can do the same for you.”

“When he says things that hurt me, all I want is you. I miss you. I miss our connection. I find I can’t breathe when I’m not with you. There’s just this tightness in my chest that won’t go away. I long to reach out to our bond.”

“And that’s a bad thing? Maybe when he puts you down, you subconsciously reach for the only person who has ever made you feel like you are enough and worthy of being loved. I wanted to give that to you, Alina.”

“I’m so scared, Aleksander. I’m in here crying because I need you and I’m so scared to need you!”

“You have taught me it’s okay to need you. It’s okay to need acceptance and love, Alina. I offer those.”

“How can I need you if I don’t even know if I trust you?” Her voice cracked.

Aleksander sucked in a breath at the pain those words caused. “Because of what Baghra said?”

She nodded into his chest. “And the manipulation. If I didn’t know about the letters, what else don’t I know? What else are you doing to manipulate me? At times I think I am strong enough and I can tell when you are lying to me, so that will be enough for me to be able to stay in control of things with you. Other times I’m terrified that I’m still falling for you and I will end up your slave. I realize I’m not in control of anything. I don’t feel whole unless I’m with you! When I’m with Mal, I am constantly thinking of you. I thought that if I gave myself some space, I could separate from that and sort things out, but it’s only worse. It takes all my strength not to run to your rooms because I need you.”

He wanted to reassure her that he was worthy of her trust, but he wasn’t sure that was even true. Wasn’t he just a bit earlier going through the list of all the secrets he had kept from her? He hadn’t managed to confide any of them to her or even come up with a plan of how he could. “There’s so much you don’t know,” he admitted. “It terrifies me, too. Trying to find a way to share it all with you is destroying me.” It was the full truth for once. There were horrible secrets there. He did not want to be manipulating her. He truly did want her to know all of it now, but he wanted her to understand it all too. Figuring out how to make that happen was eating him alive. He focused on those feelings and opened their bond fully so she can know the truth of that. “I need you. I fear if I use the wrong words, you will leave me, and I will not survive.”

“So … we both are driving ourselves mad with self doubt and worry and the pain of being apart. What do we even do with that?”

“If I had come up with a solution, I would not still be tearing myself apart trying to figure it out.” He sighed at the familiar ache in his chest. “Do you … Do you want to just take a break from … trying to figure everything out? My only solace in life is you. If I am your only respite, can we not just give ourselves a night to have that?” He needed a break, and she needed his comfort. They both were in so much pain from trying to survive alone.

“I’d like that,” she admitted, finally looking up into his eyes.

Aleksander reached out his hand and cupped her cheek. She leaned into his touch, and the clenching in his chest finally relaxed. She wanted his comfort. He wasn’t quite sure what a break would look like to her. Would she just want to sit and read in the library? Hold each other perhaps?

Tentatively, he leaned forward to kiss her. Her lips parted, and her body arched into him as if she could not get enough of his touch. He was shocked at the flood of desire that she released through their bond. There was no doubt that she wanted more.

As much as he longed to make mad love to her right there in the bookshelves even with Ivan only an aisle away, it didn’t feel quite right to dive straight into ripping off her clothes. Their relationship was awkward and uncertain at the moment. They needed cuddles and contact and warmth before he reminded her what it felt like to have her body worshipped. An idea occurred to him. “Do you want to take a bath together?”

She smiled. “Yes, please.”

=========

Author Notes: I wrote this chapter a dozen times and deleted them all. Every attempt at writing Aleksander come clean was ridiculously bad. So I started writing about him feeling that way, and Lady A's "Need You Now" came on my station and inspired me. Aleksander was a mess of guilt, self-doubt, and fear until Alina needed him, and then the story just clicked and was so easy to write. All of the emotions felt right once he realized she needed him. He doesn't need to be perfect for her. He needs to be what she needs, and he can be that, even with the dark past. This version felt genuine to the characters, including Alina and Mal. Alina's future with Mal was miserable. I wanted to let her realize 'hey, I don't like this' and choose something else for herself.

[akria23]

There’s not much for me to say theory wise for episode 8. I think I’ve basically said it all. As I said before there’s really no space for fiat’s mother to enter on a positive note no matter if she’s an active antagonist or an inactive one (meaning no matter if she intentionally comes to cause chaos or if the chaos she causes is not her intentional fault) that’s still only the space she has, given the set up we’ve already gotten.

Her exact madness is anyone’s guess. For me tho if they have Fiat just jump up & choose to leave Leo SIMPLY because his mom is back and don’t like him - I might vomit because that’s terrible writing. Everything Fiat has said & done has been to get in the exact place he is now, loved by Leo & accepted by his family. There has been no setup that says Fiat wants his relationships with his parents more than he wants it with Leo’s. In fact he’s spoken against that exact thing. So having him give into a woman whose abandoned him just to come back and separate him from the life he’s wanted & worked for years to have - just not believable. For me they’d have to set up a reason for him to choose her,

* Family obligation: Shes sick mentally or emotionally & needs someone to care for her - which could be tied to an out of location clause (much like the Chinese drama Go Ahead)

* Secret or preseperation: Some secret or other issue brought forth with the moms entry causes a separation or deep angst.

* Last Goodbye: (this is one of the plots I mean when I say inactive antagonist) The last goodbye is exactly what it sounds like - a character who is sick/dying re-enters the main’s life to either make right or explain bad behaviors that may have effected the mains life before they…well don’t have that chance anymore. While this would make her intention non-malicious it still can cause an emotional response within Fiat that could lead him to make choices that would affect his current life style. Even if she’s not ‘dying’ you could still get this kind of last goodbye plot where she’s been away for a specific reason & comes back with intention of setting things right but causes chaotic emotions.

She could enter on any kind of intention & still create chaos because intention & outcome are two different things. So it’s all dependent on what the writer wanted to do there & other than shrouding this woman we assume is Fiat’s mom in a tone of ‘mystery’ Mame really hasn’t given us much to build on to theorize what her intent is via story.

I also feel like people are still waiting for the other shoe to drop & the fallout from the angst. The longer the angst is held the more people seem to assume that means a ‘sad ending’ or set up for a second season. Personally I would hate that too. Leo & Fiat are not the kind of pair that needs a second season. Their story can be told in completion in one season. I think the desire continue to see their favs have people missing the bigger issue of story. This was what happened with TharnType as well. There really was no further story for the pair so it was an entire season of them dealing with the reverse of the same problems they’d had in season one so instead of talking about getting married some viewers felt they should’ve been talking about couples therapy. I won’t say it’s not an option though because viewers in large don’t really care about a well written storyline & tend to focus on cute moments & the aspect of their favs continuing to work together & as long as the investors/company see a chance for more success they’ll typically carry on.

Personally I think a ‘sad’ ending would go against the tone they’ve set so far of problem & resolution being condensed together. It would possibly be jarring to have a sad or ‘open’ ending when they could lean into a more hopeful ending that also teases ‘more to come’ which would likely be more favorable. Angsty endings can get extremely dramatic instead of feeling authentic - but I’m not gonna pretend like Mame is the perfect writer…I do remember TharynType and that brick & how she tried to give the main antagonist a redemption arc at the last minute. Tom foolery!

I guess this one is more about the possible writing concepts and how I feel about them rather than me deciding on a theory that I’m theorizing they will use. Unfortunately I don’t have any mutuals to talked to about this series. I guess most is waiting to see how it goes before giving it a chance.

[chamomilehoneytea]

i just read your recent post of knt and ohmygod. oh god. i really feel like crying :') it's gonna end soon and they all are gonna part ways. can't wait to see the ending esp for the side couples!! anyway, i'm really into friends-to-lovers stories, can you recommend some animes/mangas that are based on that? i need to distract myself from knt ;-; thank you sm for bringing us updates and everything!!

Hey @chokokonhanbin​!! I’m sorry for replying so late!

I’m crying right there withyou!! Even though the story has been winding down for about a year nowthis announcement really makes the impending conclusion seem real… While I’mgoing to miss the series a ton, I really can’t wait to see how Shiina wraps everythingup for our main characters! She’s been working on this series for over tenyears, so I’m sure she’ll take great care with the ending. And hopefully we’llget that heavily foreshadowed timeskip epilogue so that we can see them allworking and married and having babies (omg!!). 

Friends-to-loversstories are the best! I’ve compiled a list for you of some anime and manga thatI think fit that category, although some of these might be a bit of a stretch.I tried to pick series in which the relationship isn’t mutually romantic fromthe very beginning (of course, sometimes one harbors secret feelings for theother, as in the case of Ryu and Chizu :D). Many of the series I’m recommending are not “romances” but they do contain romantic subplots and relationships.

Theremay be some small spoilers in here, but I’ll try not to give anything majoraway - just enough for you to see if you might be interested.

Let’stalk more under the cut…

ANIME

1. Akatsuki no Yona (Yona ofthe Dawn) 

Thisseries is a really popular shoujo about a sheltered young princess, Yona, whois forced to flee her kingdom after her father, the king, is murdered. Shenarrowly escapes with the help of her childhood friend / bodyguard, Hak,and the two set out on a long and dangerous journey…

I’veonly seen the anime adaptation, but the story is really great; Yona grows a lot and hasexcellent character development. Her relationship with Hak is also reallywell-done - if you like protective male love interests who would die for the girls they love, I think you’ll enjoy this!

(Bonus,she collects a lot of male friends throughout the story, so if you’re intoreverse harems…)

2. Gosick

Ifyou’re a fan of mysteries with a little gothic flair, you might really enjoyGosick! The story is set in the first half of the 20th century at a fancyacademy in the fictional European country of Sauville. Kazuya Kujou, a bulliedstudent at the school, meets a mysterious, doll-like girl in the library - thetwo lonely teens gradually become friends while unraveling all kinds of mysteries.

Thisseries has some dark elements, although I don’t remember it being too graphicor intense. The two main characters come to rely on each other, and theirrelationship is really sweet. 

3. Kiznaiver 

Ican’t say too much about this one without getting into spoiler territory, butit’s about a group of teenagers, all from different backgrounds and social circles, who arebrought together as part of a secret experiment. The story is literally allabout feelings (literally haha), and there’s a lot of falling in love and romantic angst. While I would say the story is primarily focused on the natureof friendship and empathy, there are a few friends to lovers pairings…

4. Shinsekai yori 

Thisis an incredible, thought-provoking story, and I highly recommend it for that.If you like dystopian / sci-fi settings and themes, this will probably appeal to you -again, I don’t want to give too much away, but there are a few friends tolovers relationships. Though I wouldn’t call this series a romance, it does explorehuman relationships, and consequently, romantic relationships do receive a fair amount of focus. 

5. Toradora! 

Toradorais, in my opinion, one of the best romance series out there. The two maincharacters are both outcasts, for different reasons; Ryuuji is a kind, gentleboy with an intimidating face, while Taiga is prickly and aggressive in spiteof her small stature. These two unlikely friends unite to help each other findlove - Ryuuji has a crush on Taiga’s best friend, Minori, and Taiga has a crushon Ryuuji’s best friend, Yuusaku. Their relationship is developed really well,and there are a lot of really emotional moments. Can’t recommend it enough!

6. The Rose of Versailles

Anoldie but such a goodie! This series from the 1970s takes place in pre-revolutionaryFrance and follows Oscar de Jarjayes, a girl from a noble family who hasbeen raised as a boy from birth. The only biologically female guard at court,Oscar is assigned to protect the newly arrived future queen of France: the verykind, but very naive, Marie Antoinette. 

Thisseries is completely amazing. Oscar is an incredible and complex character whowrestles with her gender identity while kicking ass and thwarting all kinds ofassassination plots. Plus, there’s a pretty complicated relationship with herbest friend since childhood, Andre… If you like history, drama, courtscheming, sword fights, old school bishies, sparkles, and tons of angst, I think you’ll enjoy this. I will warnyou, this is not a happy or light-hearted series (French Revolution) and it’skind of on the long side (40 episodes).

MANGA

1.Hotaru no Hikari

Hotaru is a young woman in her late 20s whose social life is practicallynonexistent; she loves nothing more than lounging around at home in casualclothes, eating junk food, reading manga, and sleeping. She finds herself living in a house that is owned and occupied by her handsome 40 year-old boss, Takano; though he likes to pick on her for being a “dried up woman”, he always helps her through the problems in her messy love life.

Hotaru and Takano are at very different points in their lives, but they become such good friends over the course of the series; they feel completely relaxed and at home when they’re together. Will this unconventional friendship blossom into something more…?

2. Omoi, Omoware, Furi, Furare

This manga is by the author of “Ao Haru Ride” and “Strobe Edge” and is currently serialized in Bessatsu Margaret, alongside “Kimi ni Todoke.” The story revolves around 4 high school students, two girls and two boys. One female protagonist, Yuna, is a shy but sweet girl who loves shoujo manga and has a very idealistic view of love. The other, Akari, is a bit more jaded and has had experience with relationships, giving her a slightly more cynical, realistic perspective. Rio is Akari’s stepbrother, and though Yuna has a crush on him, he’s secretly been in love with Akari since before their parents started dating. Kazuomi is Yuna’s childhood friend, who despite his seemingly carefree nature, has a lot going on under the surface.

Both pairings begin as friends and are still building towards romantic relationships. It’s interesting to see how the characters change through their interactions with each other - it’s a great high school shoujo, and I think the characters are fairly complex for teenagers. 

3. Koiiji

This series is a pretty mature love story. The main character, Mame, is a 30 year old woman who has harbored unrequited feelings for her childhood friend, 35 year old father and widower, Souta. Throughout her life she has confessed to him, only to be turned down; still, she continues to love him. 

The story is not sugary or idealistic - it feels very grounded in reality, even if that reality is complicated and at times disappointing. Souta doesn’t magically fall for Mame, and her love may come to nothing in the end. But the story is really interesting, and the characters are pretty well-realized - they’re always capable of surprising themselves and the reader. If you want a more realistic, bittersweet story, then I think you might enjoy this.

I hope some of these series interest you! Looking at this list I realized I don’t actually watch / read too many friends to lovers stories - but I do really enjoy them, and these in particular had relationships that stood out to me. I saw that you liked another recommendation ask I published recently - I would also recommend all of those manga series to you as well! Thank you so much for reaching out to me, and happy watching / reading!! :)

[angel-nero]

#5317

Heeeyyyy, okay, so it's really cool to be mutuals with you and you're also of my v limited mexican pals shdhjskd so we can speak in mexican meme together lmaoooo and talk about shiro and keith as su puta madre no aguanto, mi corazón se rompe wey aaaaaaaaaaa, que se vayan a la verga no mames. Papi shiro 😭🙌🏼 so, in short you're really funny and I'm glad we talk!!!! Aksdjskekdjejw. I always wanna reply straight away to u 😫 but my life has been 😬😬😬 me going from place to place lately and getting my energy suckd so i hope u have patience w me and that u dont think i ignore u cus fuck no 😩🙌🏼 im glad u messaged me in the post voltron s3 groggy af morning where i was dying and stuff lmao :') i actually will be in ur city in may next year,,,,, just saying lmaoooo 👀👀👀 😂😂 but yo, i really appreciate ur lov for shiro even if maybe is not that good for your health....... this pain can't be healthy, but I totally share the emotion and u know it. Ass in the air, for shiro.

Mutuals send me a number and I'll make a post talking about you

[viralhottopics]

Premier League: 10 things to look out for this weekend

Manchester United may go for jugular against Liverpool, Morgan Schneiderlin must settle quickly at Everton and Ahmed Musa has chance to shine for Leicester

1) Will United go for the jugular against Liverpool?

Manchester United were on the receiving end of heavy criticism when they shut up shop and successfully played for a 0-0 draw when they visited Liverpool in October. It was a classic exercise in parking the bus from an unapologetic Jos Mourinho, who reasoned that a cautious approach was necessary against a team who regularly overwhelm their opponents with blistering attacking play. But while it was possible to grudgingly respect Mourinhos plan, there is no need for the United manager to play it safe at Old Trafford on Sunday. Although United are unlikely to veer too far away from pragmatism this is a Mourinho side, after all it is reasonable to expect them to play with enhanced adventure, given that they are riding high after nine successive wins in all competitions, with Zlatan Ibrahimovic scoring consistently, Paul Pogba beginning to excel in midfield, Marcus Rashford spreading panic in opposition defences, Henrikh Mkhitaryan creating and Juan Mata continuing to chip in with important goals. Victory would lift them two points behind Jrgen Klopps side, so this is no time for timidity. JS

2) Who will be hit hardest by absences through Africa Cup of Nations?

No other Premier League team has lost more players to the Africa Cup of Nations than Sunderland or Stoke City. For David Moyess side, Lamine Kon, Didier Ndong and Wahbi Khazri have departed to join Ivory Coast, Gabon and Tunisia respectively, while Wilfried Bony, Mame Biram Diouf and Ramadan Sobhi have also flown the coop. Who will feel the absences harder? Kon remains Sunderlands best defender, despite their encouraging displays without him in the past two matches, and he will be sorely missed against a physical strike force likely to consist of Peter Crouch and Jonathan Walters. Should these two be repelled, Sunderland will fancy their chances at home against a Stoke side lacking in other attacking options with Bojan reportedly the subject of a bid from Middlesbrough and a defence who have shipped 11 goals in the last three games on the road. MB

Sunderlands David Moyes will be without key players against another side his by absences because of Africa Cup of Nations duty, Stoke City. Photograph: Ian MacNicol/Getty Images

3) Can West Brom finally beat one of their betters?

West Bromwich Albion are perhaps the quietest success story in the Premier League this season. Six wins in their last 10 games have taken them from towards the iffy end of the table at the end of October, to eighth and sitting relatively pretty now. But theyre still 10 points behind Manchester United in sixth and 12 back from Arsenal in fifth, so a run at the European places seems rather unlikely, and thats at least partly down to their record against the better teams in the division. The draw against Tottenham Hotspur earlier in the season is the only time theyve taken a point from anyone currently above them in the table, which, given their relative resources, is not a huge surprise. But this season Bournemouth have beaten Liverpool, as have Burnley. Leicester have beaten Manchester City. Watford have beaten Manchester United. It doesnt necessarily have to be the unquestioning status quo that the biggest clubs just win games and those beneath them should just chalk them off as lost causes. Given their decent record against Tottenham (Spurs have only beaten them once in the past three years), if they are to progress beyond where they currently are, they could do with adding a few scalps to go with victories against those in the bottom half of the table. NM

4) Southampton need to find some consistency in the league

Southampton are a curious side this season. Their run to the EFL Cup semi-final, possibly the final should they hold on to their lead over Liverpool, has been achieved at least in part because they have a pretty even level of quality in their squad. Their second string isnt a massive step down from their first-choice XI, so when teams ring the changes for the games deemed less important, Claude Puels side is less affected. The question then becomes whether that level of quality is quite good enough in the league because on the basis of their recent games it hasnt been. Before the cup interval they had lost three games in a row, including a strange performance against Tottenham in which they were excellent for 20 minutes but departed the field in mind and spirit, if not body, after that. Their consistency in talent seems to be their strength but their inconsistency in performances their weakness. Now its important to show this level in all of our games in the Premier League, Puel said after the victory over Liverpool. At least hes aware of the problem and the bubbling frustration within their support. NM

5) Will Schneiderlin start for Everton?

There was no harm in finding out whether Morgan Schneiderlin was capable of succeeding at the highest level and no reason for him to be ashamed that he fell short of the standards of excellence demanded by Manchester United. Schneiderlin was one of the leagues outstanding midfielders during his time at Southampton, impressing with his interceptions, energy and ability to drive from box to box, and United could not be accused of acting foolishly when they signed him in the summer of 2015. Although he did not impress during his 18 months at Old Trafford, he remains a fine player and Ronald Koeman, who managed him for a season at Southampton, jumped at the chance of a reunion at Everton, whose rivals can only look on enviously at a smart piece of business. Schneiderlin will need to settle quickly if he makes his debut this weekend though. Manchester City visit Goodison Park on Sunday afternoon and someone needs to keep David Silva quiet. Koeman will trust that Schneiderlin is up to the task. JS

6) How Ibe copes with his latest setback could define his career

When is it going to happen for Jordon Ibe? The 15m summer signing from Liverpool had not started a game for Bournemouth since 5 November (he was withdrawn at half-time at home to Sunderland) and put in a turgid display last week as the Cherries crashed out of the FA Cup, 3-0 to League One Millwall. Afterwards, Eddie Howe labelled Ibes form a disappointment and with so many other players impressing, notably Ryan Fraser, Junior Stanislas and Josh King, it may be some time until Bournemouths most expensive ever player gets another chance. With technical ability and physical attributes to terrify defenders, too often it is Ibes decision-making and final ball that is left wanting. How he must crave a starting place against bottom-placed Hull City, who are still finding their feet under the new manager, Marco Silva. What is much more likely is another Saturday spent on the bench and another few weeks of frustration. At only 21, Ibe still has time to improve but how he mentally copes with this latest setback could define his career. He needs something to happen for him, sharpish. MB

With technical ability and physical attributes to terrify defenders, too often it is Jordon Ibes decision making and final ball that is left wanting Photograph: John Walton/PA

7) Allardyce seeks revenge on his former employers

When it comes to showing Sam Allardyce what he could have had, it is safe to say that the London Stadium comes a distinct second best to the England job. But as he prepares to visit his old clubs new ground for the first time on Saturday afternoon, there can be no doubt that Allardyce would like nothing more than to get one over on West Ham United, who hardly need reminding that Crystal Palaces new manager is a survival expert. Allardyce never seemed likely to join West Ham on their adventure to Stratford and it is almost two years since he left by mutual consent, but he might fancy his chances of earning his first victory with his struggling Palace side, who are sitting a point above the bottom three and need Christian Benteke to rediscover his poise in front of goal. West Ham are still adapting to their new surroundings and while they picked up unconvincing home wins over Burnley and Hull last month, their mood has been punctured by their FA Cup shellacking by Manchester City and news of Dimitri Payets determination to leave this month. This is an excellent opportunity for Palace to inch clear of the bottom three and pull their London rivals back into trouble in the process. JS

8) Arsenal must avoid another slow start

Having finished the festive period eight points behind Chelsea and a place outside the top four, the pressure on Arsenal has gone up a notch or two. Their title challenge is in need of an injection of energy and while they have always found a way to qualify for the Champions League in the past, the competition is tougher this season and there is no room for complacency. Although Arsne Wengers side demonstrated their resolve by recovering from dismal starts against Bournemouth and Preston North End, their initial slackness in both of those games suggests that there needs to be a sharp improvement in their focus when they visit Swansea City, whose players will surely be eager to impress their new manager, Paul Clement, despite their perilous position. JS

9) Musas chance to shine for Leicester City

The Africa Cup of Nations means that Leicester will be without two of their most dangerous attacking players for the next month now that Islam Slimani and Riyad Mahrez have joined up with Algeria. But Nigerias failure to qualify for the tournament could leave a space open for the speedy Ahmed Musa, who has performed patchily since his move from CSKA Moscow in the summer, to establish himself in Claudio Ranieris attack. Musa scored twice as the champions fought back to beat Everton in the FA Cup last weekend and his pace and directness could cause problems for Chelseas back three at the King Power Stadium on Saturday evening. JS

Ahmed Musas pace can pose a threat to Chelsea. Photograph: Media Image – MI News & Sport/PA

10) Middlesbrough must show more ambition

Middlesbrough are the divisions joint lowest goalscorers, their lack of punch in the final third continuing to undermine their commendable defensive organisation and their efforts to avoid an instant return to the Championship. They have not won away from home since beating Sunderland in August and it might be time to worry if they provide a cure for any insomniacs at Vicarage Road on Saturday afternoon. Aitor Karankas men have managed eight goals on their travels this season but they face a Watford side who have picked up one point from their last five games, with Walter Mazzarri fretting about the injury crisis that has thrown his plans into disarray in recent weeks, and the stage is surely set for Middlesbrough to secure a precious win. Another listless away performance would heighten suspicions that Karanka is too negative. JS

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from Premier League: 10 things to look out for this weekend