#Mali's Follow Forever

[mariacallous]

Sudan’s rival generals have ignored warnings of mass starvation. In more than a year of brutal war, the two military factions have weaponized humanitarian aid.

Sudan’s de facto leader, military chief Abdel Fattah al-Burhan, has blocked aid into at least half of the country under the control of the paramilitary Rapid Support Forces (RSF) headed by Mohamed Hamdan Dagalo, known as Hemeti. Meanwhile, the RSF is obstructing trucks into places held by the Sudanese Armed Forces (SAF). Local volunteers running soup kitchens have been targeted and killed by the RSF, particularly in Khartoum, Sudanese aid workers told FP.

The conflict has created the world’s largest hunger and internal displacement crises. The fighting has pushed 25 million people, more than half the nation’s population, into acute hunger and forced about 11 million people to flee their homes, including 2.3 million who fled abroad. More than two million Sudanese could die by the end of this year, aid agencies warn.

In areas where there is food available, extortion and attacks on traders at checkpoints have raised prices. Women have recounted having sex with SAF soldiers in exchange for food. Reports of torture, rape, the use of children under 15 in the fighting, and ethnic-based massacres by the RSF and armed militias have surged over the past year.

“People are dying of hunger in the capital,” said Mathilde Vu, the Norwegian Refugee Council’s advocacy advisor in Sudan. “We are looking at the risk of starvation being used as a weapon of war. … This needs to be monitored. The policymakers already have a tool for that. The U.N. Security Council resolution about conflict and hunger, and what they need to put in place is a monitoring of that.”

Both sides in Sudan’s nearly 17-month civil war have committed “harrowing” abuses that may amount to war crimes, a U.N.-mandated mission reported on Friday, calling for a countrywide arms embargo. Sudan’s military government rejected a proposal by U.N. experts to deploy a peacekeeping force to protect civilians.

Compounding the situation, the humanitarian response is critically underfunded. A $2.7 billion U.N. appeal has been just 32 percent funded. Much of that funding has come from the United States. However, aid agencies say local volunteers on the ground need to be better supported since a cease-fire is highly unlikely in the immediate future.

Famine was declared in Zamzam camp housing about 500,000 displaced people near the besieged city of El Fasher, the state capital of North Darfur—areas where the RSF is blocking aid trucks. There’s a realistic chance of famine in 16 other areas, Vu said, but precise figures are hard to confirm. Last month, the SAF agreed to open the Adré border crossing from landlocked Chad into Sudan, for a period of three months. But international aid agencies told FP that the SAF has made things difficult through lengthy authorizations ensuring only a trickle of shipments gets in.

U.S. envoy for Sudan Tom Perriello visited Saudi Arabia, Egypt, and Turkey this week in the latest attempt by the Biden administration to expand humanitarian access in Sudan, following failed peace talks in Geneva. The conflict risks turning into a forever war, in which various external actors seize the opportunity to extend their influence. Turkey, Egypt, the United Arab Emirates (UAE), and Russia have been accused of arming warring parties.

While such negotiations are essential, U.S. attention and pressure should also focus on other regional powers with a vested interest in the conflict such as Eritrea and Ethiopia. Foreign mercenaries from Chad, Mali, Niger, the Central African Republic, and Libya are believed to be fighting in Sudan.

Pressuring regional powers could engage local armed militias allied to the warring parties in ultimately ensuring access to places like El Fasher. “It will create more of a buffer than two guys signing an agreement in Jeddah” and then breaking it, Vu said. “You cannot bypass the regional powers. … They really are the ones who have the leverage. It’s very important that Western powers engage them so that they have a constructive role in this crisis rather than a harmful one,” she added. Even if Burhan and Hemeti signed a peace deal, many of the local armed groups involved would likely not abide by it.

Both generals have held meetings with several African leaders, while the African Union has been largely absent in peace negotiations. More recently, Burhan held meetings with Eritrea’s president, Isaias Afwerki, and Ethiopia’s prime minister, Abiy Ahmed, at the China-Africa summit.

[steampunkforever]

Saw a video posted by some account trying to get youth invested in politics on campus that was just man-on-the-street interviews asking a diverse group of college students who actually attacked America on 9/11. Of course the video showed them getting the question hilariously wrong.

You see these every now and then with captions like “Americans can’t name their own senators” or “young people suck at US geography” where they exist to provide a superiority boost for oldest people to comment “and this is the generation telling us we’re ignorant???”

Except with the 9/11 question I can’t blame a single one of these kids for getting it wrong and answering “Isis” or “Iraq.” They have the excuse of being born years after it happened, but regardless of their age the American government has spent the past two decades on a propaganda campaign obfuscating the exact question the video asked them in order to justify countless forever wars.

The kid confidently answering “Iraq attacked us” isn’t showing how uneducated the average American student is, he’s exhibiting the results of a long running misinformation campaign stemming from George Bush’s decision to use an attack orchestrated by Saudis operating out of Afghanistan as an opportunity to invade Iraq with the purpose of using it to get to Iran, thus making daddy proud.

ISIS didn’t attack the towers but Obama’s expansion of the GWOT into countries barely affiliated with countries affiliated with the attackers means that somehow extrajudicial killings in Mali have something to do with the attack on New York City. If I was normal about following geopolitics from a young age I would be confused too!

[theredpharaoah]

Personally, I’ve always thought the main inspiration for the Singers(Children of The Forest) was Mesoamerica. Westeros itself - the landmass - is North America. The Coming of the First Men is like when the Vikings arrived in North America. The Andal invasion is the conquest. But then the political and social world of Westerosi culture is based off of Europe.

The Singers originate from the Forest of The Ifequevron in the Grasslands(Dothraki Sea). The Arm of Dorne is like the Land Bridge. The First Men would later follow the Singers over to Westeros. I can’t really come up with a reason why they would do this. Maybe after the fall of the Fisher Queens. The Grasslands are based off of Mesopotamia, Egypt, and maybe other parts of Africa. The Sarnori are based off Zaueces of Ancisnt Libya

The Ghiscari seem to be mostly based off of Egypt and Persia. Valyria is Mycenaean Greece, Macedonia, and Rome. Rhoyne is Minoan Crete, Phoenicia, Hittites, and the Indus Valley Civilization. It was thought for a while that Hittites developed iron working which makes me want to say they’re a Rhoynish influence(as they taught Andals how to work iron).

Sothoryos is based mostly off of Mesoamerica and maybe Australia. I’ve never thought Sothoryos was inspired by Africa. Because Europe knew of and traded with Africa since forever. They had a huge gold trade with West Africa - especially Mali. But I want to say Ulthos is inspired by Australia. I personally think the “Brindled Men” are just tattooed or practice ritual scarring. The stuff about the women not being able to mate with men from Essos and Westeros is probably a lie. If it’s true then it’s caused by something else. If they really couldn’t mate with these men, I’d think they’d be unable to get pregnant at all. Yeen is Teotihuacan.

Bone Mountains might be Pamir Mountains. The Hyrkoon Warrior Women could be inspired by Mino of Dahomey, commonly known as the Dahomey amazons. Alternatively, they could be representative of pre-Islamic Persian women and the Achaemenid Empire(one person said they had concubines who doubled as bodyguards. The Jogos Nhai are based off of the Alchon Huns, and I’d say the Moonsingers are largely based off of Deborah from Judges of pre-monarchic Israel(actual historical Israel, not Zionist Israhell). Jogos Nhai see gender as a behavior; not physiologically defined or bound. Males and Females can be Men or Woman in their culture - they just have to behave like whichever gender. Because the Alchon Huns are from Bactria(Ancient Iranian Civilization) the best I can come up with for this are either the Gala of Inanna, the later Galli of Cybele, and/or mukhannath of Islam. But the culture around Mukhannath - to my knowledge - don’t allow for females to become men. This makes me want to say it comes from various West African cultures who had boy-wives and female-husbands. But most likely it’s just a naïve idea of GRRM’s.

The Free Cities are based off of Italian City States and Ancient Greek City States(Lys and Lais of Corinth). The Rhoyne seems to share the Ancient Greek city state inspo.

Dragonstone and Targaryen-ruled Westeros is Eastern Roman Empire or Byzantium mixed with misconceptions about the “dark ages”.

Dorne reminds me of Moorish Spain. Nymera reminds me of Onomaris.

Summer Islands are Africa and The Caribbean.

Naath gives me Madagascar

[nefskullcritique]

What's bothering me about you and this blog is the obsessiveness. You can say that you never intended for people to harass Volt but that seems like a big lie.

Every time it seems like they tried to move on to a different fandom you were telling folks to let everyone know how terrible they were.

Also, you're saying Mali got a lot of things wrong in the video but the same time you're saying you're not interested in the video. What things did they get wrong in the video If you haven't watched the video?

Ok.

I told people what fandoms they were when I was informed by someone else so that way people could avoid them. That's my intention, but if you don't see it that way, it's fine. I can't control how people view me.

I was told Mali got a few things wrong by other people, so I unlocked the blog to clear up questions that people might've had so I could give my own perspective.

For Example, a huge chunk of the video had to get removed because it had out of context documents from forever ago (That I had added to my drive, since it was something involving Bones, but had apparently been used to weaponize a movement against Bones in the past) and involved someone who didn’t want to be involved anymore in the first place. The piece of the video wasn’t properly researched as the person involved has been heavily off the grid for several years.

I'm not interested in the video because of my own mental health. Reasons I'm not comfortable sharing. It seems some people get the vibe that the video is pointing more positive towards them, and I'm not interested in following Bones stuff anymore. I'd rather clear some things up and leave it at that.

[hetapeep41]

Moments I'll keep with me forever. Balkan edition day 1,2 and a small bit of 3 :

- Recognised 2 maybe 3 songs during our first stop

- Tour guide loved my tattoo of the bridge, we talked about Bosnia and my love for the nation for a good 10 minutes. That same tour guide then saw my tattoo of Hajde and sung the 'Hajde da ludujemo ove noci' part. He then showed and told our driver about the tattoos

- Cried when I entered Mostar, I then cried again when I saw the bridge

- Our tour guide asked me if he could tell our city guide about my tattoos. She gushed over them and asked if she could take pictures, she then said "you are more of a local than I am."

- Everyone in Mostar was so friendly

- Saw someone with a rainbow bag, when I passed them and we made eye contact, I grabbed my rainbow bracelet and they grabbed their bag and we sorta did a fist bump, like I see you fellow queer

- Ate good food while my favorite radio station was on, i was looking at the bridge, then randomly Moj Mali je opasan by Tajči (my favorite singer and artist of who i have a different song tattood, she also follows me on instagram) played

- They talked about making a quiz about the Balkans for the bus ride, then the tour guide said 'it's a battle for second place, because no one is winning against Enis'

- Randomly spotted Zlatko Dalic (Croatian football coach, leader of my team) on a advertisement

[abelkia]

La playlist de l'émission de ce jeudi matin sur Radio Campus Bruxelles entre 6h30 et 9h : Burial "Strange Neighbourhood" (Antidawn EP/Hyperdub Records/2022) Tricky, Terry Hall & Martina Topley Bird "Poems" (Nearly God/Durban Poison/1996) Tindersticks "Chocolate" (The Something Rain/Lucky Dog/2012) The Black Heart Procession "A Light So Dim" (2/Touch and Go Records/1999) Max Roach (with The J.C. White Singers) "Motherless Child" (Lift Every Voice and Sing/Atlantic Records/1971) Gétachèw Mékurya "Tezeta" (Gétachèw Mékurya and his Saxophone/Philips/1972) PJ Harvey "Let England Shake (Demo Version)" (Let England Shake - Demos/Island Records/2008-2022) RICHARD DAWSON "Thicker Than Water" (The Ruby Cord/Weird World/2022) Julia Holter "Lucette Stranded on the Island" (Have You In My Wilderness/Domino Recording Company/2015) The Divine Comedy "Someone" (A Short Album About Love/Setanta Records/1997) Scott Walker "The Plague" (This Is How You Disappear - The Darkest Hour Is Just Before Dawn: 15 Big Hits/Universal Music Group/1967-2003) Bertrand Burgalat meets A.S Dragon "Follow Me" (Bertrand Burgalat Meets A.S Dragon/Tricatel/2001-2022) The Auteurs "How Could I Be Wrong" (New Wave/Hut Recordings/1993) Felt "Hours of Darkness Have Changed My Mind" (Forever Breathes the Lonely Word/Creation Records/1986) Trans Volta "Disco Computer" (7"/RKM/1979) Sparks "Never Turn Your Back on Mother Earth" (Propaganda/Island Records/1974) The Specials "Gangsters" (7"/2Tone records/1979) Otto Kentrol (Feat. Faceless) "No Mistakes" (No Mistakes/Modern Harmonic/1982-2022) Le Super Djata Band du Mali "Sisse Na Djolo" (En super forme Vol. 1/Numero Group/1982-2022) Honoré Avolonto & Orchestre Poly-Rythmo "Tin Lin Non" (Legends of Benin: Afro-Funk - Cavacha - Agbadja - Afro-Beat/ANALOG AFRICA/1983-2009) R.E.M. "It's the End of the World as We Know It (And I Feel Fine)" (Document/I.R.S./1987) https://www.instagram.com/p/Cmd_de-tf6t/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

[punkscowardschampions]

Roses pt.2

Moses: You know where I am, come and see me

Rio: Alright, I might just do that

Moses: When might you?

Rio: When are you free for a visit?

Moses: I’ll free myself up

Rio: When do you want to see me?

Moses: Now

Rio: [send him what could be the same smiling pic again but the subtle differences show you have taken a new one]

Moses: Are you at home?

Rio: Yeah

Moses: I could be there in [an insane amount of time because can really speed in the middle of nowhere where Ali lives]

Rio: You’ll pick me up?

Moses: Say it’s what you want

Rio: What would I say, if anyone asked why you were picking me up

Moses: I don’t answer to anyone

Rio: I do though

Moses: Your mammy’s her hands full, don’t worry

Rio: Edie would be upset, if I get to spend all that time with you

Moses: She’s spending hers with that boy

Rio: They’re sweet, they look after each other

Moses: She doesn’t need him to do that

Rio: The more people the better, right

Moses: No, I’m not trusting him to make the numbers up

Rio: They’re friends, why not?

Moses: They can’t be

Rio: ?

Moses: He’s a boy and not a homo 

Rio: Oh, okay, no boys and girls can be friends, that vibe

Moses: Friends isn’t what anyone’s after, it’s what some settle for

Rio: They’re just kids, there’s nothing to worry about

Moses: He’s the size of a man

Rio: He’s a very broken little boy though

Moses: There’s more reason to watch him then not less

Rio: You’re her dad, you have to be over-protective

Moses: You have to be my eyes when she’s out my sight

Rio: I do keep an eye on her

Moses: Broken makes him sound like a deviant 

Rio: God, I mean his sister died, nothing else, like

Moses: He follows her about as a dog would, I’ve seen that before and look what came of it

Rio: It’s mutual, that’s the difference

Moses: His sister died, she ain’t gonna shoo him off, be cruel

Rio: She doesn’t exactly suffer fools 

Moses: She’ll suffer nothing, that’s why I’m here

Rio: Of course

Moses: I don’t want you both heartbroken

Rio: She’s way too smart to ever get herself in the situation I did

Moses: You’re smart

Moses: 3 times I’ve told you now, if not 4, I’ve lost count

Rio: Not when it comes to 🧡

Moses: The example your mammy set can’t have helped

Rio: She’ll have to take the blame on that one, definitely not my daddy’s genetics 

Moses: His barely touched you, you’re the image of her

Rio: I hope so

Rio: I always felt bad for my friends for having such old and plain mammies when I was little

Moses: I can say so, as I’ve not stopped looking at you

Rio: I’m looking at you too

Moses: At my arm where I keep you

Rio: It’s so unreal you did that for me

Moses: Wouldn’t I do anything

Rio: Your track record is good, really good

Moses: Your mammy bled for you, why wouldn’t I as your daddy

Rio: Your brain is very romantic

Rio: you say things that sound like poetry

Moses: I say what’s true to me

Rio: I can tell, you wouldn’t just say this

Moses: Are you telling us to shut up

Rio: The opposite

Rio: it’s a risk, I could want you to but you said it anyway

Moses: The opposite, I’m no risk, I’ll only ever protect you

Rio: I meant the risk was yours 

Rio: but I want that too, you to protect me

Moses: I should’ve been your whole life, I mean to do better

Rio: It’s okay, it was only [however many years when Mali were not a thing out of the years you’ve been alive and kicking]

Moses: Lost time I’ll make up for

Rio: We will

Moses: It’s only [however many miles are separating y’all atm, stop flirting with her but also don’t ever]

Rio: I can’t believe we saw each other today, that feels like lifetimes ago here and now

Moses: I can’t wait to see you again

Rio: I miss you 

Moses: You’re 🥺 again, I feel it

Rio: I’m being silly, ignore me

Moses: How am I gonna do that

Rio: Put me and my 🥺 out of your mind

Rio: I’ll be good

Moses: You’re part of my body

Rio: When did you get it done, how old was I?

Moses: [tell her, I won’t commit us but we all know it was so extra]

Rio: You were proud of me

Moses: I am

Rio: Still

Moses: Forever

Rio: You said you wouldn’t make me cry

Moses: If I tell you not to, you won’t to be good

Rio: That’s cheating!

Moses: What rules apply to me

Rio: Hmm

Moses: But your mammy should’ve followed mine and let me give my name to you

Rio: I thought you liked my name

Moses: Don’t you like mine

Moses: sharing with your sister

Rio: Maybe

Moses: [that old man] would know he’s never to flirt with you

Rio: Everybody there knows you

Moses: You’d be safe anywhere

Rio: With you looking after me, I am

Moses: Even with me away

Rio: I can’t just change my name to yours though, even if I wanted to

Moses: You can’t be my baby

Rio: Don’t say that

Moses: 💔

Rio: It’s not funny

Moses: I’m sad

Rio: My dad would be if I suddenly got rid of his name

Rio: you know you would be if Edie ever did

Moses: She knows how easily I could’ve not claimed her as mine, what it means that I did, she wouldn’t shame me when I’ve never felt any about her

Moses: never mind what it’d do to me giving her to someone else if she marries

Rio: That’s what I mean, it’s important

Moses: Is it to your daddy or just to you

Rio: What kind of question is that?

Moses: He doesn’t seem to place importance on the same things 

Rio: He still loves me and the girls

Moses: It’s none of my business

Rio: Right, yeah

Moses: He’s your daddy, you love him

Moses: I do mine for all the faults others find

Rio: It’s not optional

Moses: You’re doing right by him, you’re supposed to

Rio: That doesn’t mean I can’t by you too

Moses: You’ve options there, I’ve no claim on you

Rio: Please don’t be upset with me

Moses: It’s not you

Rio: It’s still messed up all the same and for what

Rio: he probably doesn’t care

Moses: I didn’t mean to put into your head that he don’t care

Rio: It’s not like you’re the first person to suggest it, don’t worry

Moses: I’m jealous 

Rio: Why would you be jealous?

Moses: He’s your daddy, I can’t ever take that from him, you’re his

Rio: You raised me, took care of me like I was yours, no one can take that away from you, and I’ll never forget

Moses: Your mammy did take it though

Rio: It was different

Rio: but she never banned you or anything

Moses: From your sister, she couldn’t

Rio: I didn’t know that you still wanted me around

Moses: It wasn’t my place to make it known

Rio: I was just a kid, I didn’t understand 

Moses: She made her choice to go back to him, have your sisters, I wasn’t left with one

Rio: That must have hurt, I wish I could go back and be there for you, I’m sorry 

Moses: She’s good at hurting me

Rio: I know

Rio: I shouldn’t keep defending her so hard to you, she did things wrong

Moses: Me too, probably more things

Rio: I’m not going to start counting

Rio: it’s all in the past, better and worse

Moses: She’s well and truly moved on from us

Rio: Are you from her?

Moses: To who would I?

Rio: You could have anyone, you’re a catch

Moses: They’ve caught themselves up with husbands and babies anyone worth having

Rio: There’s somebody for everyone, you’ll find them

Moses: My daddy’s had everybody, it’s best I don’t look too hard, turn a blind eye like my mammy does

Moses: or I’ll end up accidentally counting how many of the same women we’ve been with

Rio: Ah, not a fun game or way to lull yourself to sleep, that

Moses: As I said, I understand the complicated way of loving one who’s not the hero you’d have him be

Rio: I reckon more do than admit it

Moses: All I’m after is breaking the cycle for my baby

Rio: That’s the best goal to have

Rio: come full circle to how in order your priorities are, must be a good sign

Moses: I’ll read it as one, but she’s got the sight, she’d really know

Rio: You know she thinks the world of you, no crystal ball required

Moses: [the gypsy name for someone with the sight cos there is] don’t use crystal balls, you’re being racist

Rio: I am not, stop your messing

Moses: Alright, you’re being a tourist, how much better do you feel

Rio: 😑

Rio: none but how am I going to be anything else now you’re refusing to father me

Moses: You refused me

Rio: Did not

Moses: Did 💔

Rio: I would never do that

Moses: Don’t make us throw you in the boot, messer

Rio: If you want to look like you’re kidnapping me that’s the quickest way to go about it, sure 😆

Moses: If you wanna test me

Rio: No, I want to be nice to you

Moses: Be a good girl

Rio: Aren’t I always

Moses: You’re not bad

Rio: 💔

Rio: Cold

Moses: Your fault I had my shirt off

Rio: You could’ve covered back up ages ago

Moses: You got me thinking of more tattoos I want

Rio: Ooh, tell me

Rio: what and where

Moses: [do tell her, as per I won’t commit us]

Rio: [compliment his and share your own ideas that you’ve had thus far]

Moses: I’m going [a day soon because he has no chill and is like a child] if you want to watch

Rio: Definitely!

Rio: If you do anything to damage your hard man rep, it’ll stay between us and your tattoo artist

Moses: Girl there knows exactly who I am

Rio: 🤔 does that mean you will or won’t shed a tear?

Moses: Wait and see what I’ll do

Rio: If you want to get reacquainted with her, maybe I shouldn’t come 😔

Moses: I want you to

Rio: No real flirting then please

Moses: If you say please proper I’ll flirt with her ‘til she touches the machine to you and you can have the knowing what it feels like

Rio: Alright, I’ll tolerate it for that

Moses: If you tolerate the pain, I’ll really flirt with her and you can get [whatever tattoo idea she said that he clearly likes the best]

Rio: You’re not messing

Moses: Not about this, no

Rio: It’s going to look so good

Rio: and mama won’t mind

Moses: Whenever you miss us you’ll look at it

Rio: like you do

Rio: matching in a way

Moses: Like I’m doing right now

Rio: I miss you even more than I did

Moses: It’s all I need to hear to give my permission, that and we’d match somehow

Rio: Will you hold my hand if it really hurts?

Moses: If it hurts you, try and hurt me

Rio: I’m too small, it’s pathetic

Moses: Hold onto my wrist like you’re the law, nobody’s allowed to hurt you, you know

Rio: Pretend you can’t break my grip

Moses: I can’t break it, it’d hurt me too bad

Rio: You’re going to be part of my body too

Moses: Forever

Rio: Please

Moses: There’s going to be a part of you that’s mine, no one else can touch it the same, whoever they are and whatever they do 

Rio: That feels right, you deserve that

Moses: You’ve had yours on me for years, it’s fair

Rio: I couldn’t have got it any sooner

Rio: and you get to watch it happen

Moses: I won’t blink

Rio: and I won’t cry

Moses: You’d cry if [his tattoo/part of it idk what he was going for but] was orange

Rio: Yeah, I would

Moses: If your smile was on me near where your sister’s eyes are, what would you do

Rio: Whatever you told me to forever

Moses: She has [however many Edie does dedicated to her at this point because we’ve also said about her giving him a tattoo herself etc etc and the possibilities are endless for how many he could have lbr] you’ve 1

Rio: I try not to be jealous

Moses: I should give you 3, that’s your birthday

Rio: You remembered

Moses: ‘Course

Moses: come on then, what’s the third to be of, what do you like more than [whatever he said was gonna be orange cos we’re shamelessly fully personalising this tattoo for her now as lucky number 3 along with her smile and whatever the old school one he has from her being a baby is, nbd]?

Rio: You could get 🐯?

Moses: Where

Rio: I’ll have to see in person, where there’s room, where it would look best

Moses: [not you talking about your body in detail under the guise of where there is room for what I imagine is gonna not at all be a small tattoo but really we all know you’re flirting via a giant tiger and getting her to think about it because you can’t wait for anything ever]

Rio: [men quite often get tigers from their shoulder to one of their pecs which does look quite good but is also a shamelessly hot place to suggest he gets it, or on his ribs as another suggestion or his hip bone across his lower stomach]

Rio: What do you think?

Moses: [I’m going with option 1 because it’s a hot cliche and this man is nothing if not that lol and as I’ve said her other tattoo is on his arm it could be the same side so that tracks and he’s agreeing to it] 

Moses: I’ve messaged her, when she’s drawn it, tell us what you think

Rio: She must like you, you’ve clearly skipped the waiting list if she can get it done this fast

Moses: She’s very helpful, you owe her a drink

Rio: Uh-huh 😏

Rio: I guess I can stretch to that, all things considered

Moses: I’m intrigued if she’ll do your smile justice or not, maybe hold the freebie ‘til we’ve seen that, like

Rio: You’d have to turn it into a Joker tribute instead, not ideal 😬 over 😁

Moses: Long as her hands don’t shake during your [whatever Rio’s getting] with the want of [her drink order even though he’s defs taking the piss and it’s not her real one, the way he did with the halloween girl and getting her name wrong]

Rio: You’re really selling her to me right now

Rio: If it’s wobbly, I’ll get mama to fix it for me

Moses: None of mine are

Rio: I know, you’re teasing me, again

Moses: 😏 

Moses: you’ve got us checking still

Rio: Ah, that’s what you get

Rio: I’ll look for you

Moses: [catch him sending pics of whatever tattooed parts of his body he can’t see, shameless excuse because I know you have a mirror if not many you vain slut]

Rio: I didn’t know you had [list the ones he’s got since you’ve been around him, clearly]

Moses: Admitting you don’t follow me

Rio: You might not want me to

Rio: what happens on stories, like…

Moses: I’ll age restrict ‘em for you, will I? 

Moses: you wanna be a little girl now

Rio: Shut up, no

Rio: we all post things we don’t want our family seeing necessarily, don’t we? 

Moses: I don’t know, do you

Moses: I’ll not follow you back if you’re 😳

Rio: No, you can follow my [insta that is your main one, giving that this is wholesome vibes by suggesting there are accounts he can’t follow]

Rio: [and follow him, duh]

Moses: [do follow her and be liking her pics, not all of them because we know exactly the type of ones he would be and is, no comments though because that’s his idea of having some chill despite calling her a little girl again with his emoji, FLIRTING]

Moses: 👧🏽

Rio: [like a lot of his too, like a lot a lot which if anyone was watching either of y’all they might notice but no one is so they won’t, better and worse lol]

Rio: Already said you aren’t 👨🏻‍🦳 so many times so you must be 👨🏻

Moses: You wouldn’t say what I am

Rio: But I will

Moses: You’ll do whatever I tell you, was it?

Rio: You know what type of 👧🏽 I am

Moses: 👼🏽

Rio: You make me feel so 🥰

Moses: You deserve to

Rio: Swear

Moses: What’ve you ever done wrong

Rio: Not keep in good enough touch with you, for the one

Rio: maybe I’ll save the rest for a priest

Moses: And what is it your priest’s got I don’t

Rio: Oh, you’d have to ask my grandma, she’s his biggest fan 🤷���‍♀️

Moses: He makes her feel 🥰

Rio: God is the ultimate daddy, after-all

Moses: Be why I’ve been thrown out his house for misbehaving

Rio: 🥺

Rio: I bet you were such a cute kid

Moses: My [gypsy word for grandma, shoutout] would disagree 😈

Moses: winding up your elders is the ultimate good craic

Rio: Naughty kids are so much cuter though, I’m sorry

Rio: and funny, like you said

Moses: You was cute, must’ve been a one-off

Rio: You had best of both worlds in us two, I guess

Moses: Pushing my luck and it ran out

Rio: You still have us, don’t be too sad

Moses: Swear yourself

Rio: I swear on everything

Rio: I want you to be part of my life again, properly

Moses: You’ll be happy that I’ve got no patience left after years of not when I do see you

Rio: I can’t stop picturing you

Moses: What am I doing in your imagination

Rio: Wrapping your arms around me

Moses: That’s how you’re really after being picked up

Rio: Yeah

Rio: I just want you to hold me, just for a while

Moses: You need rocking or you’ll never sleep, that’s the baby I remember you were

Rio: Are you going to stay with me ‘til bedtime?

Moses: ‘Til past yours

Rio: I could be at a friend’s, sleepover

Moses: Drive would send you to sleep, worked every time when nothing else did

Rio: I hope you weren’t going [however fast he has bragged that he can and does] 😅

Rio: You don’t want me to sleep the whole time, do you?

Moses: What do I want you to do

Rio: Are you thinking about it now

Moses: Wes are both thinking about it

Rio: You don’t want to say it

Moses: Can’t you speak?

Rio: What if I say the wrong thing, say too much

Moses: You’ve not done no wrong in my eyes before, have you

Rio: Exactly, I can’t ruin this too

Moses: You won’t

Rio: I’m not imagining this

Moses: Neither of us are

Rio: and I trust you

Moses: You don’t need to be nervous, cute as it is

Rio: You’re not going to do anything that isn’t what I want to happen

Moses: And you’ll do as you’re told

Rio: Tell me

Rio: something, I want to behave now

Moses: Wait [somewhere she absolutely should not be hanging about but we can’t have jali finding out about this]

Rio: Okay, leaving now

Rio: [and however long it takes, show him when you’re there via a picture]

Moses: I’ll be on my way

Moses: [and likewise send her dangerous driving content because you are that bitch]

Rio: Get to me in one piece

Rio: I want all of you

Moses: You’ll get what you want

Rio: I worry too much, I’ve been told

Moses: Relax

Moses: 😁 not 😬

Rio: I am, promise

Rio: nothing is topping how excited I am to see you

Moses: Be there before you know it

Rio: Okay, okay, I’ll try to wait patiently 

Moses: Enjoy the wait for what it is

Rio: Anticipation

Moses: You’ve more time to put your imagination to use while you can still think

Rio: You’re going to melt my brain

Moses: [tell her how fast you’re driving rn as if that’s the only reason when it simply isn’t]

Rio: You said you had no patience 

Rio: but it’s still getting less and less

Moses: You asked when I wanted to see you and what did I say

Rio: Now

Moses: Yeah

Rio: [send him a picture that isn’t technically anything scandalous but you can tell she’s !! in it and that’s the mood]

Moses: How hard can you blush without being pale

Rio: You don’t have to touch me to turn me red

Moses: Are you gonna let me touch you

Rio: I can’t imagine seeing you and you not touching me now

Moses: It’d be a waste of more than imagination

Rio: Why would you not touch me

Rio: I’m on your arm, I’m yours to have

Moses: That’s settled, you can drive while I’m being distracted

Rio: Let me distract you

Rio: you know how badly I’m missing attention from a father figure

Moses: I want to know if you’ll crash if I distract you badly enough

Rio: Depends how many new experiences you’re trying to throw at me all at once

Moses: How many can you handle all at once

Rio: You tell me how much I can take and I’ll take it, that’s how it works, remember

Moses: Tell me how far you’ve gone

Rio: Mostly touching, them touching me, pushing on me

Rio: but I’ve given one boy head

Moses: The dope one?

Rio: Not him

Rio: some random boy who doesn’t really deserve that first but it’s done now

Moses: I’ll undo it for you, he already sounds pretty forgettable, won’t take long

Rio: Do you think I’m a slut?

Rio: You can be honest

Moses: Do you reckon your mammy is, was at your age, she’d thrown herself around and at more boys than that

Rio: At my age she was already looking after Django

Rio: whatever she was or weren’t was probably justified 

Moses: It’s justified you’re after being touched, it’s what everyone wants if they’re honest

Rio: It’s all I want

Rio: the dope boy did it with someone else, I was going to to make it even but it didn’t happen

Moses: You don’t just have to get even, I can make happen what a little boy could never, now you’ve waited

Rio: Do you remember your first time?

Moses: It weren’t very memorable, his wouldn’t have been either

Rio: I can beat him on this

Moses: And give me something I’ll not forget about

Rio: You’ll really do this for me, even though you didn’t get it yourself?

Moses: I’ll get you

Rio: You can make me yours

Rio: doesn’t matter what my surname is, we’ll be bonded forever

Moses: Whoever’s you take, you’ll compare him to me that night

Rio: You’ll be the one that has to give me away then

Moses: You don’t want your real daddy to?

Rio: He won’t have me, it’s that simple

Rio: maybe he’ll walk me down the aisle but you’ll have taken me

Moses: I’ll have to say you can’t, who’s he that’s right to hand you over to

Rio: You want to keep me for yourself

Moses: You’ll like being kept by me, it’s a kindness to let you stay

Rio: Be kinder and let me call you daddy

Moses: It’s what I am, there’s no sense you calling me anything else

Rio: Mine

Moses: Be my baby

Rio: Again

Moses: I won’t let nobody take you this time

Rio: I never stopped being your baby, you’re making it permanent

Moses: You never stopped loving me

Rio: I love you and it makes my insides hurt

Moses: I’ll fix it that’s what daddies do

Rio: The hole inside me is meant to be filled by you

Moses: I’ll fill places you didn’t even know was empty

Rio: I know that daddy is the only word I can say when I can’t think no more

Rio: that’s got to mean something

Moses: It does, I’ll show you what hearing you means to me

Rio: I want you to, to show me all the things you know

Moses: You’ve need of teaching

Rio: Telling

Rio: tell me that you’re the only one who can satisfy me, tell me I’m not allowed to leave

Moses: You’re allowed but it ain’t going to enter your head to go anywhere except with us

Rio: My head is where I need you the most, I want headfucking

Moses: Me too, no one touches up there the way I want

Rio: I know, you’re so bored

Moses: Don’t let me be

Rio: Are you now?

Moses: Am I

Rio: No

Rio: because you’re thinking about when you see how wet I’ve got my pants that it’s going to remind you of every time you had to change me

Rio: and how that makes you need to cum so bad

Moses: You’re going to cry again

Rio: That beyond my control, my body reacting to you and what you’re doing

Moses: Your body can’t help itself, how you looked at me when I first walked into the pub wasn’t subtle

Rio: If you try walking away from me, I’m going to try more than pinning your wrists to hurt you now

Moses: If you try walking anywhere after I’m done with you that’ll hurt you worse

Rio: Worse than it would hurt you?

Rio: we’ll never know, I won’t

Moses: You’ll have to take that seat you were saving me and sit down on it yourself tomorrow, you’ll never stand up for your shift now

Rio: How sore I am will remind me of you until I get my tattoo to

Moses: Be no ice left for drinks and you’ll have to tell everyone why not

Rio: They’ll think you’re punishing me, not giving me everything I ever dreamed of

Moses: Your punishment comes when I’m busy working too

Rio: Missing you aches, I feel where you should be

Moses: My eyes do watching the road instead of looking at your pictures

Rio: Your eyes should be illegal and I’d go to prison for them

Moses: The only law you’re under is mine, you’ll go where I say you’re going

Rio: Do you get work breaks?

Moses: I work to my own schedule

Rio: I could be under your eye and law, if you wanted that

Moses: You’ve the full knowing of exactly what I want

Rio: I’m going to be it, all the time

Moses: I am it for you

Rio: For life

Moses: You’re not to turn your eye from me

Rio: I’ll be under their roof, God’s, thinking about being under you

Rio: only obeying you

Moses: Christ, the mouth on you, girl

Rio: You need to know I’m serious, daddy

Moses: When you spend your sundays with me is when you’re dead serious

Rio: If you can bear me being anywhere that’s not directly attached to you, then I’m not doing a good enough job yet

Moses: Then you’ll belong under my roof

Rio: I’ll earn your love, you’ll be obsessed with me and I’ll worship the ground you walk on

Moses: Are you ready to say your goodbyes to touching the ground

Rio: Yes

Rio: If you put me down, I’m going to have a meltdown, you’ll end up rocking me to sleep

Moses: I don’t want to put you down

Rio: Keep me

Moses: Keep this a secret, you can tell that boy as a fuck you but your mouth stays shut to everyone else

Rio: I can’t, you know what my mouth is like

Rio: it’s closed, only available and open to you

Moses: Open it for [tattoo girl] to close hers, she can’t take a hint from me

Rio: I don’t like her

Rio: I’m mad at everyone you’ve ever touched

Moses: You’ll end up with a lot of enemies

Moses: but we’ll find someone else to tattoo us, baby

Rio: She can do it, I’ll watch her closely

Rio: hold your hand whilst you’re bleeding for me

Moses: Take your earrings out, that’s how girls fight

Rio: You want me to take them all on

Rio: as long as I win, no one else is a prize like me for you

Moses: I wanna watch you get mad

Rio: I smashed up dope boy’s kitchen

Rio: and he didn’t do anything, nothing

Moses: He’s lucky he didn’t, what I’d do if he had

Rio: He’s lucky but now I’m the luckiest

Moses: In my culture we’d set fire to his kitchen, he got off light

Rio: He was being respectful, that’s the problem

Rio: I need someone like me, which is someone exactly like you

Moses: Fair cop to him, I’d put you in your place the second you started acting up

Rio: Almost makes me want to, that

Moses: You want the back of my hand on you

Rio: I want to bring you to my bedroom and get you to make me cry with my hairbrush again, honestly

Moses: By god, that’d turn you black and blue never mind red

Rio: You’ll pick me up from school early, push my skirt up and make it so I can’t sit as well as can’t stand after

Moses: How am I meant to send you to school at all

Rio: Put the uniform to better use, the only clothes I’m allowed to wear when I’m with you

Moses: I’ll let you wear an apron sometimes, like the wife I’ll never take

Rio: I’ll play-pretend I’m old enough to be her

Moses: We’ll play a time-travelling game, girls used to marry young to stop them disgracing themselves

Rio: There’s no disgrace in a girl loving her daddy 

Rio: I’m your baby, wife and little mammy in one

Moses: We’ll pretend you’re old enough for a baby too

Rio: Fuck 

Rio: I’m built for having babies, aren’t I

Moses: What your church says, doesn’t it

Rio: What will your instincts say when you’re grabbing onto my hips, wanting to put my nipples in your mouth and suck whilst you shudder into me

Moses: I’ll be tested, true enough

Rio: You’ve not forgotten everything from Sunday school then

Moses: Bits are coming back to me

Rio: I’m glad I could refresh your memory

Moses: I remember you and your dolls, a baby with babies

Rio: I took it seriously then, the ones that Edie didn’t get her hands on are still pristine, I think Grace has them in her room, even though she swears she’s too old for them now

Moses: Sure, if your favourite one goes missing she’ll not notice, take that as a sign

Rio: You can name them

Moses: They had names

Moses: [get your guesses wrong but not that wrong because you think you were paying close attention so there’s a part of you that’s always almost correct]

Rio: I can’t believe you had to listen to me go on and on about them that much

Moses: You weren’t as big or loud of a talker as your sister but you weren’t my nephew who never spoke up ‘til what feels like recently

Rio: What are they like?

Moses: I like the youngest, they’re the boldest those girls, trouble

Rio: I see it

Moses: They remind us of my sister, and yours

Rio: That’s why, your favourites

Moses: [his sister’s name cos we haven’t given her one] shouldn’t have been made to care she’s a girl, it’s some of why I don’t force my princess to behave as one

Rio: Breaking the cycle, how you said

Moses: My uncle had no right tricking my daddy into giving her over

Rio: Is that how it went

Moses: He sold everyone a lie, so when I had a bag packed for her to run she fucking wouldn’t

Moses: [however many years they were married cos I’m not doing that maths thank you] and 5 kids later though

Rio: That’s where doing the right thing gets you

Moses: What nonsense

Moses: I’ll do what I want, thanks all the same

Rio: Had my own warning fall on deaf ears

Rio: but he’ll be rich enough to dull his problems and not die, that’s what I’ll have to watch play out instead of happiness 

Moses: Nah, look at me not him

Rio: You’re ridiculously easy to look at

Moses: And I’m happy cos I’m about to see you

Rio: 😁?

Moses: [send her a pic even though you’re still clearly dangerously driving at the time]

Rio: Wow

Rio: So distracting

Moses: You’re welcome, what else were you up to but the wait

Rio: You never know

Rio: sure there are other suspicious men just dying to pick me up from this place 

Moses: Dying is what they’d do, no man’s going to his grave sooner

Rio: It’s me or them so thank you

Moses: You could hold your breath and not pass out before I park, I’m that close to you

Rio: Let’s put that to the test now

Moses: [show her that you’ve sped up even more so she doesn’t die lol, literally going as fast as he can]

Rio: [send him a holding your breath clip to prove you are and aren’t just saying it lol]

[fcvisuals]

Take me river, carry me far Lead me river, like a mother Take me over to some other unknown Put me in the undertow

Excerpt from journal, 6/14/2021

"Oh how grateful I am for such a heavenly trip to my heart's home, with my soulmate.

The first morning gifted us with sunny clear skies, speedy and safe travel, and various strange yet entertaining animal encounters. Along the way, Denali and her friends welcomed us by gifting us with a full view of her domain. Laughter and awe were shared over small gramma pups and a fat cat on a leash.

Once we reached Healy, our adventures began with scouting for our two camp spots. This led to a sweet lunch break, shared in our hammock by the hidden lake. We ate our make-shift sushi of rice, seaweed, and kimchi-style fiddleheads, enjoyed with some backcountry blueberry beers.

We then stopped by Usibelli to find that the gates to hidden backcountry adventures were, surprisingly, wide open for us to pass. We ventured through vast canyon walls of ancient stratification, shining rocks, and expanding lines of vegetation. Feeling the pull of the opened gate beyond the canyon, we made our way towards the infamous ditch that had left its mark on my dear car the previous summer. Yet another surprise, and ever more endearing was finding the ditch had been filled, allowing safe passage!

Knowing the sun would set soon, we saved that adventure for another time and headed to Eight Mile Lake. The summer sun continued to beat down on us as we made our way to the lake by foot. Little spruce trees along the way reminded us of how small and young we are.

Eventually we made our way to the expansive boardwalk that lives forever in my heart. Mali sat amongst the cotton grass while I photographed the beautiful, abundant world around us with double exposures. By this point, we decided to grab more drinks and gas before heading up to set up camp and cook dinner.

I set up the 3-person tent that I'd recently bought for the trip, while Mali prepared the Impossible burgers. After dinner, we took some shrooms and made an attempt to ascend the legendary ridgeline. The ridgeline that I had only managed to get my car onto twice before, passing through extremely precarious conditions. We didn't manage to make it all the way up this time, though we did find some interesting remains of a moose.. The rest of the night was spent tending to the fire, enjoying drinks together, singing to LIGHTS, healing our inner children, watching the sunset over the mountains, and capturing the moment.

The next morning was calm and relaxing. I brought Mali up to the Grande Denali Lodge, where everything started for me. Quick visits were made to my old housing and the Denali Cannabis Cache, where we met the unofficial Denali mayor, Rubin the Dog. We kicked off day two's adventures with our drive into Denali Park, where we stopped for a hike to a hidden waterfall along the Savage River.

The hike left us hot and tired, so we travelled down to Drashner Lake, off the Denali Highway, for lunch and a beer. Clouds began to roll in, giving us just enough reprieve from the summer sun. The travel back was quick and beautiful, with the sun following us home.

[nanshe-of-nina]

To be fair, one of Abu El-Haj’s books does mention Kaifeng Jews once, kind of... by quoting a member of the group Kulanu named Irwin Berg:

“There is a priestly class of Lemba whose DNA shows a connection with Jewish Kohanim (Priests). Other than the Lemba, these peoples [Jews from places as diverse as sub-Saharan Africa, Afghanistan, India, and China] have no ‘proof’ that they were once Jews. They have their customs and traditions, which they compare to the customs and traditions of the children of Israel as reported in the Torah. . . . Even though Jewish tradition does not report on these peoples, early Arab historians have identified some of them as Jews. Speaking as a Jew as well as a dilettante historian, I think we should be respectful of the claims of peoples whose customs and traditions bear the indices of ancient Jewish practices. As I was told in a remote village in Mali near Timbuktu, Africans remember forever the oral traditions of their ancestors, particularly those relating to their origins. (Berg 2006, 14)”

She then gives his comments the weirdly bad faith interpretation of:

But whether or not people should be respectful of indigenous claims, Berg makes clear he does not think they have “proof,” that is, evidence that would be widely recognized as credible by the Jewish world.

However, on a hunch, I went and found the actual source online and she, um… kind of seriously misrepresented what Irwin Berg actually wrote. Here’s a brief excerpt (the rest is online here):

Beginning slowly after the destruction of the Temple by the Romans in 70 CE, and more quickly after 325 CE, when gentile Christianity became the official religion of the Roman Empire, these varied and esoteric forms of Judaism which existed since early Hellenistic times lost out to Rabbinic Judaism. Not only did their adherents assimilate into the Greco-Roman world, but their books were lost and our knowledge about them was largely lost. Among the most unusual of these groups were Jews who for several hundred years believed that the crucified Jesus was the Messiah but continued to observe Jewish law. By the year 800 CE -- except for the Karaites -- Babylonian Rabbinic Judaism was the only Judaism practicecd (sic) in the Christian and Moslem worlds. That does not mean that all other Jews disappeared from the face of the earth. These others lived in out-of-the-way places such as sub-Saharan Africa, Afghanistan, India, and China. Most of them eventually became Moslem. While visiting Songhai villages along the Niger River in Mali, I encountered many Moslems who claimed that their ancestors had once been Jews. These remote peoples followed in the footsteps of their ancestors as closely as they could while cut off from the Rabbinic Jewish world. The best known today of these "outsiders" are the Shin and Kuki peoples of northeast India, who claim to be the descendants of the tribe of Menashe. Many sub-Saharan Africans likewise claim to have Jewish ancestors. These Africans may be the descendants of Jewish colonies that settled along the Nile in Southern Egypt about 2,500 years ago; or they may be a remnant of those Jews who escaped the Romans after their defeat in North Africa in 115 CE; or they may have resulted from movements of peoples westward from Ethiopia and Yemen. Some Tutsis claim that they are descendants of Jacob who did not follow Moses into Sinai but remained in Egypt. Others include the Lemba of South Africa, the Sefwi of Ghana, and the Igbo of Nigeria. There is a priestly class of Lemba whose DNA shows a connection with Jewish Kohanim (Priests). Other than the Lemba, these peoples have no “proof” that they were once Jews except for their customs and traditions, which they compare to the customs and traditions of the children of Israel as reported in the Torah. Also, even though Jewish tradition does not report on these peoples, early Arab historians have identified some of them as Jews. Speaking as a Jew as well as a dilettante historian, I think we should be respectful of the claims of peoples whose customs and traditions bear the indices of ancient Jewish practices. As I was told in a remote village in Mali near Timbuktu, Africans remember forever the oral traditions of their ancestors, particularly those relating to their origins. The Beta-Israel of Ethiopia cannot be compared with these other groups. They have been long known to the Jews of Egypt and are the subject of a response by Rabbi David ben Solomon ibn Abi Zimra, known as the Radbaz (1479-1573), who proclaimed the Beta-Israel to be from the tribe of Dan. Since they had no Talmudic training but followed the literal word of the Scriptures, he pronounced them Jews who were to be treated sympathetically as though they had been taken captive at a young age. At different periods of time Jews isolated themselves from their neighbors and did not intermarry or accept conversion. At other times the opposite was true. I have already mentioned the "mixed multitude" that went out of Egypt with Moses, the Canaanites, Ruth, and the Maccabees.

Yeah, I think I have even less respect for her scholarship than before... The way she chose to quote Berg’s actual words comes off as rather dishonest.

[shinku-maji-blog]

So I returned home from work, to discover I now have 112 followers, marking this as my official first milestone as Rin. Returning to Tumblr has been a really huge challenge for me since last year during a time where I hit rock bottom & slowly had to rebuild myself. I got a job, a drivers license & am aiming for a new career goal now. I’ve made a lot of friends, & lost a few on the way. 

Finding a muse I could truly connect to was difficult, as I was popularly known on my previous Sakura & Tamamo blogs. Eventually, due to the recent Heaven’s Feel hype & me having loved Heaven’s Feel for a very long time, caved into making a Heaven’s Feel route Tohsaka Rin after realising most were UBW. Many UBW Rin’s I’ve met & I adore their portrayals & they always looked like they had fun. So, I chose the route I loved most & have not regretted it. I was pretty worried, that this blog would go nowhere. 

But thanks to a lot of people, sadly only some I know personally, but hey I have time to mingle! It’s stuck & I intend to be on this blog for years to come. So with that, I’d like to thank everyone for their support, whether were mutuals or not, whether we role-play or not, or if you just send in Anon’s or asks, it all means a lot to me! 

The first person I shall thank is of course my irl boyfriend @senexdemonte. & let me tell you, sometimes he can be a majorly jealous jerk. (Clearly I’m lovable, cough.) & I’ve definitely lost my temper with him plenty. But despite this, he is always there in my corner, if someone’s upset me, or if I’ve ever had Anon hate, he is always there to either support me. He always reassures me my writing skills are good, & although he’s not a huge role-player himself, he does accept my hobby which is nice. &, I think I would have been a lot more scared of returning if not for him. So I’m truly grateful that he’s always there to support me & of course I love him. He’s a great guy, & he definitely fits his muses personalities. (Cough.) Probably why he can role-play them so well, should probably concern me...no, no, it does concern me. xD But I think the world of him, just, if anyone hears a shouting for help Phantom, ignore him, I’m just throwing a book his way. ovo He’s actually, well one of two people who got me into Fate. The ironic thing? Years ago, years, years, yeaaaaars ago, I used Rin as a FC for an OC, & I never looked into where she was from, until I saw her again & was like ‘Whoa, it’s that chick in red I used years ago, never could find her name.’ & when I learnt, ironically, it was Rin who got me into Fate. So, it’s ironic it took me this long (like 3 years?) to make a Rin blog. The second mention, which I shall include two individuals in are @motherfuckingredsaber @hxlyswcrdedkxng. Mellu for always being a great friend, the edits she’s done for me & helping me find needed information within Fate as well. As stated on my blog, the Suzuka mun fc icons were all edited by her. So she’s always been a grand support for me be it ooc related or role-play related. Second is Aura, I have no idea which blog is their main one so lets go with Arthur lolol. Anyway! They’ve always been a great friend & a great listener, they never take what I say to heart when I’m ranting about something & they’ve always been very understanding. I’ve known both of them a very long time, & I probably wouldn’t have returned without their help as well. & I highly recommend checking out their blogs.

The third mention, which again shall include two individuals are @maluspuerum & @motherfuckingbrotheroftheyear. Knight & Zack are both amazing people, I’ve known Zack since way back in my role-playing time on Tumblr, & I’ve known Knight a reasonable amount of time. They’re both super fun to talk to, their blogs are always great for me to interact with & it’s so nice to share hc’s or just ruin Rin’s life. They’re very friendly & open to ideas, & I’ve always felt very welcomed around them. 

@mortalshinobi is my fourth mention, & a long time friend of mine ooc. Their art is pretty cool, & their blog is pretty creative imo & it’s cool to see AU existences. They’re always free to talk & plot, & discussing topics with them is always fun. They never get defensive, or angsty or rude, they’re super easy to talk to. Not saying anyone on the site is rude, just, their personality is super laxed & it’s very safe around them. They’re always eager to see my writing, & it really makes me happy they enjoy our role-plays. I also can’t believe I entered a ship I don’t even ship, and damn that’s happened with Rin/Shinji too & I’m questioning all of you on this list right now.

@crimsonsovereign, though we haven’t caught up much lately, you’re a really fun person to be around & you’ve definitely had my back when I’ve needed someone to rant or cry to. I also really love your writing!

@saberxfblue & @aurealmaster, I haven’t spoken to either of you for that long. But you’re both really cool people, a lot of fun to talk to & a lot of fun to role-play with. Shipping hell central & it’s not like I needed my heart or anything. Your writing is amazing, your blogs are awesome & I hope you have a really nice day!

@magnificentgoldenking & ah I don’t know which blog Sieg is on right now maybe @ulsterswardog? Oh I hope I tagged the right person. xD We don’t talk as much anymore, but I love you both a lot, hope you’re having a great week & your blogs are always amazing. ovo

@kazikili-voyvoda, we’ve talked a fair bit in private since becoming mutuals, & it’s always funny. I’m really enjoying our role-play, & I never thought Rin could get along so well with Vlad, & I’m constantly giggling at how they make jabs at one another. The ship is hilarious, like a ship in denial, & they’re just so amusing as Master/Servant. I definitely wonder if he’d be different around her if it were in Apoc instead of Fuyuki. You’re really great with your character, & I hope you’re growing on confidence because you rock! ovo

@kinglyduty, love your blog & we don’t often talk but literally one of the only Arturia’s I’d see Rin being potentially able to ship with. So, that’s pretty impressive. And I hope you’re having a nice week, we should talk more. ovo

@fatefulriders, spoken to you a fair bit, should really speak to you more ooc but I’m shy. Amazing blog, & a super nice person. But they do approve of Neo. >.> Jkjk, they’re awesome & really nice!

@rialoir, I need to speak to Centpai more, but amazingly nice Mun, amazing blog, amazing writing, & just they’re a precious bean.

@lancinghound, I knew I hadn’t tagged you!! I’m sorry!! Follow them, harass them, in a good way not that negative shit. They’re a cool person, & fun to RP with & we speak a fair bit on Discord. 

I wont tag/spam everyone who follows me, since it’s been a long day & that’s like 100 people & I honestly can’t do that neatly yet. v.v If I missed anyone I’m so sorry, I’m half asleep! I mentioned people I have spoken to heavily ooc, but I do truly appreciate everyone!! & I hope to continue being good enough to follow & maybe reach 200. ; w ; I’ve only had this blog since the first, so this is only my...eleventh day on this blog!? So I’m just, sooooooo thankful !!!! ; 2 ; 

I love you all babs, take care, stay safe, eat your veggies (don’t they’re gross, less you like veggies). For the next (hopefully) milestone I’ll hopefully know more people personally, & be less drowned in work so I can focus. But I reaaaally wanted to thank everyone, because honestly making this milestone on such a rough day was amazing.

[poetrybymalimarks]

clouds

when i was a little girl i would lie down   in prickly lime green grass   and stare at the sky   trying to interpret shapes of clouds   i would make them out to be something more than what they were   this bad habit followed me   into my early twenties when i saw men like you for what they could be   instead of what they were   if the sky could talk, she would say to me: don’t pretend the clouds are anything more than ice crystals   and water droplets don’t pretend this man you love is anything more   than what he shows you   and how he treats you if you want to be happy believe that things are   exactly as they seem stop romanticizing   the potential of everything   or you’ll be depressed forever by the contents of reality   honey, potential is a lie Mali Marks, Nina Is Trying. Read more of Marks’s writing: https://www.amazon.com/Nina-Trying-Mali-Marks/dp/B08R49156C

[reynanghugot]

Dear ex,

Dear ex 1, thank you sa panloloko for a year and 8 months, sa pag deny ng relasyon natin, sa di paglaban sa magulang mo. Naalala ko ayaw nila sakin kasi bata ako that time, pero nilaban kita and sana ma realize mo na soon na kaya hindi na kita binalikan noon kasi alam ko sa sarili kong pagod na din ako. Pagod na ko malako, pagod na ko i-deny sa kapilya, pagod na ko sa mga kasinungalingan mo.

Dear ex 2, ikaw ang reason bakit nagka trauma ako sa marijuana, bakit ko na withdraw yung isang sem ko, bakit ako umuuwing puro pasa noon tayo. 10 months ko din tiniis yon, akala ko magbabago ka pero hindi pala. Alam mo bakit ako nagising sabay sabi sa sarili ko na I should stop seeing you? Yun yung time na skbrang laki ng pasa na iniwan mo sa hita ko tapos you almost slit my throat dahil sobrang high ka tas nagseselos ka sa mga kaibigan ko. I haven't heard anything about you after. I hope you're doing okay now.

Dear ex 3, salamat pinaglaban mo ko sa family mo hanggang ngayon ako pa din mahal mo, thank you sa lahat lahat pero I hope na maintindihan mo na we really cannot get along in the future dahil sa mga nangyare. Laman ka pa din ng panata ko and I'll be forever thankful to have you.

Dear ex 4, naalala mo yung pagmamaliit sakin ng parents mo? Yung pagayaw nila sakin dahil INC ako? Yung pag-iwan mo sakin sa ere tapos walang closure? Yung madinig na kailangan mo muna grumaduate bago mag girlfriend? Okay na sakin yon, napatawad na kita, napatawad ko na lahat. Pero alam mo di ko din makakalimutan nga pananakit mo pisikal, yung pamamahiya mo in public kasi binati ko lang nakasalubong ko na barkada ko, lalo na yung pag mamakaawa ko sayo at pagluhod ko sa labas ng CEU para lang ma appreciate mo yung surprise ko. We are still following each other on IG & hopefully last girlfriend mo na yan as you promised sa ex mo bago yan. ☺

Dear ex 5, thank you for making me feel na ako lang. Those times na halos di na tayo mapaghiwalay. Sorry if naging bantay sarado ako, you cheated on me so I need to make sure na ang Akin, Akin lang that time. I know both of us may mali but still thank you for being there when I was down because I wouldn't be able to graduate in College that time and you are one of the first person who knew about my first employment. Forever grateful to have you! Laman ka pa din ng panata ko & di magbabago yon. Mag-iingat ka palagi, miss ko na si mama mo. ☺

Pwede naman ako mag kwento anon, wag naman ganito next time. Ang haba. Anyways, thank you! Good night.

[bandsanitizer]

8 songs, 8 rules (or something)

RULES: 8 song prompts & tag 8 people

thank you for the tag @staticsounds @redrattlers @tirednotflirting and @reachthezeneth !!

1. Favorite song at the moment.

Starting Line by Luke Hemmings she says to the surprise of no one. also That Funny Feeling by Bo Burnham and Goodbye by Bo Burnham

2. A song you associate with your favorite ship.

This requires me picking a favorite ship which like I don’t know how to do that. So we’ll go with my narrowed down top 3 ships.

so first CALM bc ot4 is superior. I have decided. their whole existence and meeting is fanfic material (childhood besties malum. we both thought the other was too cool cake. enemies to besties muke. met online mashton. we’ve met before! lashton. was angry bc where tf were you but then I fell in love with you cashton.) anyways song from my ot4 playlist Never Be by 5sos and my biggest writing goal is to write a fic based on it bc I could go on forever about colors in 5sos music.

next ship is birdflash and the song I associate would be Heroes by MIKA and like specifically YJ!verse but could work otherwise. and the other ship is Blam (from glee) and I associate them with Sick of Losing Soulmates by dodie.

the real moral of the story here is that I love the friends to lovers trope and most of my favorite ships exist in this realm of I’m okay with them being strictly platonic or being romantic and what matters to me is how they see ALL of the other and still choose to love them (platonic or romantic). and that said… there’s a lot of overlap on songs lol

3. A song that could be about you.

26 by Paramore bc even though that’s about her… the first time I heard the song I started crying and it’s just… learning to navigate being your biggest critic and most important supporter is a Struggle. trying to stay grounded and not give up on dreams. I just RELATE to this song with my whole being

4. A song that you think is underrated.

At the End of the Day by Mali-Koa. Listen like this whole album is phenomenal but I really think we don’t talk about this song enough. It’s really about this idea that everything you want to be and need to be is already inside you. that whatever you’re searching for you’ll find it because you already have it. idk it’s a comforting song for me and I think one of the best lyrics on the album (okay honestly the whole album is just lyrically a masterpiece)

5. A song that reminds you of a good memory.

Sevens by Samuel Hazo. My high school band never followed through on performing this in a concert, but learning this piece and everything was such a positive experience during band. Also 11/16 & 7/16 was just really fun to play! Learning the xylo part was an adventure but truly something I enjoyed and it’s just very tied to the best feelings of being in band. Notably a memory of one run through that was just spot on! (Also that feeling of finally getting the piece right? YEAH)

6. The last song you listened to.

Sticky (with SHAED) - Piano Version by The Maine (or well technically Upside Down by Austin Moon bc I watched Austin & Ally) like Sticky is a great song and then make it all pretty with a piano and then make it a duet???

7. A song that makes you laugh.

P*rnstar by ModSun. Censored bc I feel weird about that word being on my blog. Like it’s not even a bad song either? It’s very secksual though. And was like unexpected despite being completely expected based on the title. IDK it’s just like… made me laugh while listening to Internet Killed the Rockstar.

For a more sfw song: The Turd Song by Big Time Rush. Iconic. Amazing. Genius. Invented music. James’ run at the end?!?!

8. A song you want your mutuals to listen to.

I don’t think a day will go by where I don’t find a way to rec flights by twentylove. Like it’s just… a great song. lyrics and all it’s a favorite of mine. but for a different song Watercolors by Will Jay like it frustrates me this is the only version he’s released bc this song is sooooooooo good.

tagging (if you want to!): @takemealive @calumsash @hoodhoran @thenervousduck @in-superbloom @karajaynetoday @opheliascribbles @ladybugnoah

[iknowyouthinkimbulletproof]

If this is the last time- Calum Hood

A/N: first 5sos fic! Calum hood x y/n. Y/n’s gender is female for this fic, it just made it easier to write, my apologies to anyone it might upset, but you can always request. based off of If This Is The Last Time by LANY. Feel free to correct any mistakes! i don’t know if anyone will like this, but i do soooo.

https://open.spotify.com/track/3bsRMvQja4huvPWo1S5ONc  

NOT MY GIF

plot: Entries for y/n’s last diary/book.

2077 words. * marks song lyrics 

-

y/n’s diary:

(June 8th 2081) There's nothing better than the support of your family, so imagine having been admitted to the hospital and having every person you’ve grown to know as family waiting for you to leave the hospital. We knew it was coming, that one of us would have to go, but we didn’t know who and when. It’s me and soon. I’m not afraid though. My family’s strong, I know they are. Today he told me I looked beautiful, like he has every day of our life together, but it felt different. It was like a reassurance that no matter what, he meant his vows. Everything felt different today, even the simple touch of his hands while he drove me to the hospital.  Especially the way our children said they loved me this morning. I’m ready. There's no point in fighting the cancer, it’s too far along and I'm far too old.

*I know we're gettin' old*

(January 15th 2082) It had begun after the boys last tour, the realization that we were no longer as young as we used to be. Our children started high school and y/s/n starting his own band, following in his father’s footsteps. y/d/n was too, but she had taken the football/soccer approach. They were good at it too. y/s/n having the same beautiful voice as Calum, but preferred the drums. He learned from a young age, he never really stopped admiring his uncle Ash. Which was really Ashton’s fault, almost spoiled him as much as Luke did y/d/n. Luke never got the girl he wanted, so he treated her as if he was one of his own. All the boys did, but Luke was like a second father to her. Which didn’t help with the Cake rumors during touring.

*the lines on our hands have changed, But you still look at me the same*

(September 29th 2082)  My life has been amazing, maybe not from the start, but from the moment I laid my eyes on Calum Hood, the past didn’t matter. Nothing matters, nothing but him. Well until my  children of course...and then my grandchildren. He stood by me for all of it and I love him for it. He promised forever and that's what we got. There's nothing I could ever do to repay him, or at least in my eyes. 

*Hey, mom, guess what? You're really tough.*

(November 15th 2082) This is for my children, I hope you’re reading. I love you, I'll always love you because there’s no way not to. From the moment you were both born to the moment your children were born, I was amazed by the amount of growth possible. I hope one day you’ll have the same joy I did watching your grandchildren being raised by the amazing creatures you created. I hope that one day when you pass, it’ll be surrounded by the ones you love.  Thank you for giving me the opportunity to love you, I don't know what I did to deserve you, but I'm very grateful. 

*And I know you did all you could. Just to make sure my life was good*

(December 25th 2082) It was worth it, all of it. The pain, the tears, the blood. My life is complete.

*Sorry for the fights and the tone of my voice, Sorry for the nights when I made the wrong choice*

(January 1st 2083) Not a lot of people know, but Calum and i’s relationship was almost torn apart when our children were in high school. It had nothing to do with them of course, but life for Cal had been stressful. He had confessed he felt like he had no purpose now that he thought his career was over. Of course it wasn’t true, but he was like a bull in a china shop. After many nights of hushed fighting, y/s/n had gotten into it. He had convinced his father to start therapy and got him into football/soccer again. From then on, y/d/n got him to become her team's coach and he stayed there until retirement, he said he felt complete after retirement. 

*Life is flyin' by and it's hittin' me now. I hope it's not, but*

(January 5th 2083) Sitting here rereading all of my old diaries, has me regretting not taking the course of treatment. I'm gonna miss everyone. That might be hard to believe considering I will no longer be roaming the planet, but everyone means so much to me.

*If this is the last time, please come close*

(January 12th 2083) It's too soon.

*I love you with all my heart, you know. I don't wanna cry, I'm bad at goodbye*

(January 13th 2083) This is my written goodbye for those who I love. 

Michael you’ve always been my best friend. I appreciate you taking me in like you knew me forever, like I was there with you and Calum throughout school. I'm sorry I didn't give you another niece to spoil, I know you wanted one you didn’t have to say it. With everything in me, I hope you're the last one of us here, I trust you the most other than Calum to take care of our families. If you are, I hope I don't tear you apart, we’ll all be up here waiting for you.

Luke, where do i start, i owe you 30 bucks. You always said that I would go before Cal, you were right. Don't worry, no hard feelings, none of us actually expected it so soon. But you better be there when my first great-grandchild is born. Make y/d/n name them after me. I'm just kidding, although…… 

 Ashton, thank you for being the big brother I didn't know I needed. Thank you for loving my family like your own and for taking care of Cal when I couldn't. I’m coming to join you right now, see you soon brother.

Kristal, Sierra, and kay-kay…...Bye my bitches, see you soon. I'm just messing with you, you better keep your stubborn asses on this planet a while more. I'll be taking care of ashton for you kay.

For the fans, who have loved my not so small family, there will be a 5sos reunion waiting for you when you pass, but not too soon.

y/d/n and y/s/n stick together or you grounded. I love you, I already said everything I needed to say to you, take care of my grandchildren.

Now Calum, i don’t think i need to write anything for you, we’ve always been honest with each other. Don’t come see me until you’ve met our great-grandchild, stay there for a while until you have enough memories to share with me. Hold our children tight, i know i won’t get to anymore. Just because I'm leaving doesn’t mean you don’t get to spend more time with me, I'll be watching you. When you join me, we’ll get to spend more decades together, and just like the first time you met me, you won’t be able to get away

*If this is the last time,Then let's do the things we always do,Like go to the mall and buy some shoes*

(January 16th 2083) My last day before I'm on bed rest, for the rest of my life in fact. y/d/n was determined to take everyone in the family to the mall. I didn’t get anything of course, but I did suggest a couple of clothing items for my funeral. My funeral, that’s weird to think about. I did get Calum a pair of shoes though. His feet will not walk in with the raggedy old shoes he loves so much.

*I don't wanna cry, I'm bad at goodbye. If this is the last time*

(January 21st 2083) Here I am, on my deathbed, writing what will probably be my last entry. Calum on the other bed in the room, of course he had it pushed next to mine. “We haven’t slept apart in decades, why start now.” I hope he doesn’t take it hard, but I can feel it coming. I can feel the pull. Watching the monitors and seeing the numbers change drastically. We've been saying goodbyes for a while now. As much as it pains me to say this is my final goodbye. Goodbye.

*Hey, dad, what's up? Miss you so much

Yeah, the shade of your hair has changed

But I look up to you the same*

(March 20th 2085) y/n asked us to turn her diary’s into a book series, we had, this is my continuation of the last one. y/s/n has promised to keep publishing them after i’m gone. He said he knew how much it would mean to his mother. Unfortunately this is my last entry as well. I will be joining y/n soon, i knew i wouldn’t make it long without her, i was right. They say i’ll probably die in my sleep sometime this week. I have our children staying with me, waiting till I go. I already said my goodbyes to our grandchildren and my brothers. My mother has been gone for a while, I can't wait to see her again. Mali wished me luck and said she would see us again. I hope it’s not too soon, I want her to be there while y/s/n and y/d/n grieve a second death. y/n said she wasn’t afraid, i understand now. Anyways, I guess this is goodbye. 

*Taught me how to fish, taught me how to ride a bike*

(July 25th 2086) Hey guys, it’s y/s/n and y/d/n this time. I hope you enjoyed reading mom, and some of dad's writings. I'm not quite passing yet, but my sister and I thought this last book is not quite done yet. We wanted to add our goodbyes to mom and dad as well. Maybe we shouldn’t write it here, but it feels right. We wanted to say thank you to all the fans who have supported our parents for decades, or even the newer ones. So thank you, you made our parents who they were and in return, made us and our families who they are. We love it thank you. So, goodbye dad. It might be a few decades till we see each other, but we are currently teaching my son how to ride his bike, just like you did me all those years ago, thank you for that. y/d/n is teaching hers to fish, we know it wasn’t mom's idea of fun, but she always did it with us, so now we are doing it with our families.

*Taught me how to love, how to treat a woman right. Life is flyin' by and it's hittin' me now*

(September 6th 2086)  y/g/d/n here, i asked mom if i could write something as well, just wanted to thank my grandparents for everything! That's a lot to thank for, I know, but I forgot before they passed. I also wanted to inform them that I finally started college, makes me think of what they would have done if they were here.

*If this is the last time, please come close

I love you with all my heart, you know

I don't wanna cry, I'm bad at goodbye

If this is the last time

Then let's do the things we always do

Like go for a drive or watch the news

I don't wanna cry, I'm bad at goodbye

If this is the last time*

(May 7th 2090) The last entry of the last book of my grandmother’s series. It’s y/g/s/n for your information. The last written update, it’s been years since grandma wrote in this book, but she got what she wanted, uncle Michael truly was the last of the bunch. He’s here waiting for his turn, but he did what was asked of him….and Luke. My first child wasn’t named after grandma, but when we were having our second Michael jumped at the opportunity, he’s holding y/n right now. He said she looks like a young grandma, so i guess it’s fitting. He’s on his way to join our family right now, I'm the last to say goodbye. I know you probably heard it a lot in this book, but thank you guys for everything, we love you.

[stanislawkowalski]

His lips lingered, an indulgent promise of more, before he drew back slightly, his gaze piercing and searching, as if seeking the very essence of Reinhardt’s soul in the silence that enveloped them. The weight of his question hung in the air, a spectral presence that demanded an answer.

Reinhardt’s response, a whisper edged with a longing that bordered on desperation, reached Nastka like the fragile flutter of a moth’s wings against the darkness. Nastka listened with an almost predatory attentiveness, savoring the boy’s hesitation, the way his need was laid bare like a delicate, trembling flower in the moonlight.

"You did more than well, Rein," Nastka’s voice was a velvet whisper, sinuous and seductive, as he traced the contours of the boy’s form with an almost imperceptible touch. "You exceeded my expectations. You did exactly what needed to be done. But rewards..." he let the word drift like a haunting melody, "rewards are earned, moj maly kwiatuszku. And they are given when the time is right."

With a subtle shift, Nastka tilted Reinhardt’s chin upwards, compelling him to meet his gaze. His eyes, dark and fathomless, locked onto Reinhardt’s with an intensity that was both thrilling and unsettling. He could see the flicker of doubt, the clash of fear and desire, and it thrilled him to no end. Leaning closer, his breath warm and laden with unspoken promises, he let his lips brush the edge of Reinhardt’s lips. "But you..." he whispered, his voice a tantalizing caress, "you are so very close. Closer than you think. And that’s what makes this so enticing, isn’t it? The thrill of wanting, the chase for what’s just out of reach."

Nastka’s lips lingered on the other's mouth, a ghostly touch that elicited a shudder. He reveled in the control he wielded, in the way a single gesture or a whispered word could unravel Reinhardt’s resolve. The man's vulnerability was a symphony of temptation, a melody that invited Nastka to play with the edges of Reinhardt’s psyche.

"But you want more, don’t you?" Nastka’s voice softened to a seductive purr as his hand cupped Reinhardt’s cheek, his thumb caressing the tear-streaked skin. "You want what only I can give you. You want to be more than what you are, more than what this world has made you. And I can give you that, Rein. I can make you powerful, untouchable. But you must prove to me that you are ready, that you are willing to do whatever it takes."

The silence that followed was thick with anticipation, Nastka’s gaze never leaving Reinhardt’s as he waited, his eyes dark and intent. He knew that the boy would yield, would come to him in search of the promise he held. And when Reinhardt finally surrendered, Nastka would reward him in ways that would bind him forever. For now, he would let the boy linger on the precipice of desire, to stew in his need and longing.

"Now, tell me," Nastka’s voice was a whisper of temptation, seductive and commanding, "are you ready to prove yourself to me, Rein? To earn what you so desperately crave?"

“N-no, I guess not…” he answered slowly when asked if he still felt guilty about killing the man at his feet. If he was truly the rat Nastka said he was, the world would, indeed, be better off without him. Just like how the matron of the orphanage who beat him day and night was better off dead, too.

Despite the bloody turn of events, despite the crippling fear and anxiety that gnawed at him and threatened to eat him alive, he felt a certain kind of peace as Nastka’s arms wrapped around him in an embrace. His touch meant safety. Security. Power. Reinhardt wanted nothing more than to drown in it, to be smothered in the other man’s embrace, nostrils filled with the scent of blood and his cologne. It was a scent that put him at ease and helped alleviate the panic running rampant through his system like a virus. As a man starved for affection, settling into the warmth of Nastka’s embrace felt like being enrobed in a heavenly promise, one of protection and care. He could see himself staying like this forever.

As Nastka continued to hold him, his breaths began to even, but his heart still raced as long as he was in his arms. There was something about his touch, the tenderness with deep undercurrents of violence, that captivated him. The same hands that brought him pleasure now could cause him pain and suffering in the blink of an eye. Why couldn’t he tell which one he wanted more? For the first time, he understood why pain and pleasure were seen as two sides of the same addictive coin.

And the soft kiss to his forehead— oh, how it fueled his unending hunger for affection, his need to be loved. Rein wanted far more than a mere kiss to the forehead. This man’s touch could easily unravel both his body and his mind. That very fact kept senses heightened, his whole being at the tantalizing precipice of desire.

After his tears dried, he met Nastka’s gaze briefly before looking down at his gloved hands. “I-I… I thought I did well, but… all I get i-is a kiss on the forehead?” He spoke only a decibel above a whisper, too shy to ask for what he truly wanted, but hoping Nastka gave it to him anyway. He grasped the other’s crisp dress clothes, hoping they didn’t hate him for what he desired. But perhaps such a reward would give killing a much-needed positive association?

If his mother’s past was drenched in blood, there was no reason why his future couldn’t be the same. Although he was a long way from being a cold blooded killer right now, with the right guidance, he could become whatever Nastka wanted him to be— even an unendingly loyal right hand man. Reinhardt’s upbringing had left him fearful and shy, but underneath his exterior lie untapped potential. Not only was he smart— self-teaching himself almost everything he knew from a young age— but he was also cunning. In time, he could become an underling even more capable than his mother had been.

All Nastka needed to provide in return was the promise of affection— regardless of whether he intended to keep that promise or not.

“Don’t I— don’t I deserve more?”

[sunshinelukee]

get to know me under the cut! thank you so much for the tag @loverofmines 💛

i'm tagging @heartbreakgirlisagoodsongcalum @ashandcalscurbsidemilkshake @fairytalesforscience @wastethen8 @youngbloodchild @calumsthood @bandsanitizer @notinthesameguey @ashtcnirwin @mikeycliffords @myloverboyash @redrattlers and anyone else who wants to! :)

1. name/nickname: naomi

2. gender: female

3. star sign: leo

4. height: 5'6

5. time: 6.21pm

6. birthday: august 12th

7. favorite bands: 5sos, 1D, Little Mix, The Aces, The Vamps, Waterparks

8. favorite solo artists: Taylor Swift, Lewis Capaldi, Mali-Koa, Ariana Grande

9. song stuck in my head: better with you by Virginia To Vegas

10. last movie: To All The Boys: Always And Forever

11. last show: just finished Anne with an E

12. when did I make this blog: 2016, but I wasn't really active until 2018

13. what I post: mostly edits and gifs I think? the occasional meme maybe?

14. the last thing i googled: triple crochet stitch (i'm making a cardigan at the moment)

15. other blogs: none actually, i just stick to this one haha

16. do i get asks: occasionally, yes! (though i'm pretty bad at answering them because i always forget about them, so i do apologize for that)

17. why i chose this url: luke's just an actual ray of sunshine💛

18. following: 248

19. followers: 7121 (which is crazy, ily all🥺)

20. average hours of sleep: usually around 7

21. lucky number: 2

22. instruments: i probably know 3 songs on ukulele and 1 song on the recorder from when i was like 8, that's as far as my musical abilities go lol

23. what am i wearing right now: mom jeans and a knitted sweater

24. dream trip: i've always wanted to go to australia or somewhere in scandinavia :)

25. favorite foods: anything italian honestly

26. nationality: dutch

27. favorite song: i don't really have a specific favorite song, i guess it depends on the day

28. last book i read: currently reading a book for my german class called 24 Stunden aus dem Leben einer Frau by Stefan Zweig, which i actually really enjoy so far :)

29. top three fictional universes: Harry Potter, Narnia, Percy Jackson

30. favorite color: yellow!