#Made a stupid meme while at work. i just want to write fics but im on the verge of collapse with my physically exhausting my job has been

[dreamingunderacloudysky]

summary of my fandom headspace as of late.

[ticifics]

hi!!! im sorry i dont request often, but ive been so in love with ur fics... my atj obsession is coming back full force and you write dave soooo well <33

maybe a fic where reader isn't exactly popular (pretty and maybe has a few close friends) and has a big crush on dave? like she can't understand how he's 'invisible to girls', cause she stares at him in whatever classes they both have, and she stands at her locker for forever just staring longingly at him and he never notices. maybe her best friend tries to convince her to talk to him eventually ..

was thinking it could be sfw and maybe fluffy (maybe a little angsty if you want) idk!!! thank you for considering it if you do, and im excited for what other work you have lined up ❤️

𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐲 𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐬𝐢𝐛𝐥𝐞 𝐬𝐢𝐠𝐧

Dave Lizewski x f!reader

Summary: in which Dave doesn't notice any of your signals

Warnings: fluff, pre relationship, idiots in love, no use of y/n

A/N: SO SO SO SORRY, I know it's been forever since you sent this request, but I only just got around to doing something. I kind of lost count of how many times I started and deleted this fic. If you read this, I appreciate you not giving up on me, and thank you so much for the message, it was very very kind and I can only thank you for those sweet words. I hope you can enjoy this, darling (and I'm sorry if I deviated a little from the request)

You always looked at him.

Sometimes subtly, when he walked down the school hallway with that casual stride, balancing his backpack on one shoulder, his headphones hanging around his neck, his brown curls falling slightly over his forehead. Other times, you didn’t even try to hide it, like when he laughed at something stupid during lunch and his blue eyes sparkled behind his glasses, or when you saw him from afar during gym class, not understanding how no one else noticed how good he looked in that blue shirt.

It was a mystery to you. How was it possible that no girl at school looked at Dave Lizewski? How was it possible that no one saw what you saw?

"You should just tell him you like him and get it over with," your friend casually remarked, while you checked your phone for the thousandth time, waiting for Dave’s reply.

You pretended not to hear, but the heat on your face gave you away.

That was it. You liked him. More than you should like a friend you only exchanged messages with and talked to when you bumped into each other in the hallways. More than you should like someone who, probably, didn’t see any of it.

So, when Dave suggested you two go to the movies together to watch a Batman re-release, you tried not to overthink it.

But that became impossible when you found yourself standing in front of the mirror for too long, adjusting your top, letting your hair down and tying it up three times before deciding which way looked the least intentional. Your hands were a little sweaty, and you rolled your eyes at yourself when you realized you had chosen that specific perfume, the one that always made someone comment on how good you smelled.

It was just Dave.

Just Dave, who got adorably awkward when you accidentally complimented him. Just Dave, who laughed at your bad jokes and sent stupid memes in the middle of the night. Just Dave, who—when he met you in front of the theater—stopped mid-sentence as he looked at you, blinked a few times, and without even trying to hide it, gave you that quick once-over from head to toe before clearing his throat and adjusting his glasses.

"You look… uh, different today."

You raised an eyebrow, holding back a smile. "Different how?"

Dave opened and closed his mouth once, clearly trying to choose his words. His curls fell slightly over his forehead as he tilted his head to the side, and he made that unconscious motion of pushing his glasses up his nose.

"Pretty."

It was a bit hesitant, but genuine enough to make the heat rise to your cheeks.

"I’m always pretty," you joked, trying to keep your composure.

Dave smiled that awkward smile, scratching the back of his neck. "Yeah… I know."

And then, as if realizing he was giving too much away, he pointed toward the theater doors. "We should go in."

He was right. But as you passed through the ticket booth and grabbed your tickets, you could still feel his gaze on you from time to time.

The theater was packed, and the tight seats meant you were close enough that when he moved, his knee brushed against yours.

The room darkened, and soon the movie started. You tried to focus on the screen, but it wasn’t easy when every little movement of his caught your attention. The way he leaned over to grab more popcorn and, in the process, his fingers brushed against yours, his warm skin against yours in a fleeting touch that left an uncomfortable awareness in its wake. As if, somehow, that brief contact was more significant than it should have been.

He didn’t seem to notice. He just stayed there, leaning on the armrest, relaxed, his eyes lit up by the glow of the screen. Every now and then, he’d bite his lower lip without realizing it, an unconscious habit of concentration that made something twist in your stomach. His jaw looked more defined like that, and you felt an annoying urge to look longer than you should.

And then he leaned in.

You felt it before you saw it. The movement beside you, the sudden warmth of his presence getting closer, and then his warm breath grazing your skin as he whispered:

"Did you know Christian Bale almost lost the role because they thought he was too skinny?"

It sent an immediate shiver down your spine.

Maybe it was the fact that his voice came out lower than necessary, raspy on purpose or by accident. Or maybe it was because he was close, close in a way that didn’t seem normal for two friends watching a movie. His face was almost touching yours, and your mind made a stupid connection, the kind that should’ve been ignored: if you turned your head just a little, if you leaned an inch in the wrong direction, his lips would touch yours.

You swallowed hard.

"Is that true?" Your voice came out lower than you intended, and he chuckled softly, as if he noticed.

"He gained like 100 pounds of muscle in six months."

"Is that even possible?" You forced yourself to keep your eyes on the screen, as if ignoring the proximity would be enough to not feel every detail of it.

"If you’re Batman, it is."

The reply came in an almost playful whisper, and then he pulled back as if nothing had happened, leaning back into his seat.

Unlike you, who stayed there, absorbing the fact that your heart was beating way too fast for something that was supposedly nothing.

But it wasn’t just that.

His fingers were still close to yours on the armrest between the seats, so close that if either of you moved, the touches would repeat. You noticed when he grabbed more popcorn and his knuckles brushed lightly against your skin. Maybe you were imagining things, but he didn’t seem in such a hurry to move his hand away this time.

The movie went on, and by this point, you couldn’t tell if you were following the story or just the small details about him. The way he shifted in his seat, the subtle movement of his chest rising and falling with his breath, the warmth radiating from him so close to you.

His voice came low, breaking the comfortable silence between you.

"Did your soda run out?"

You blinked, needing a second to process the question, before realizing that yes, the cup of soda next to you was empty.

"Yeah."

"Then have some of mine. You must be thirsty after all that popcorn."

It wasn’t a big deal. It shouldn’t have been. But when he tilted the cup toward you, you hesitated for a moment. Your eyes met his, and Dave smiled slightly, waiting for you to take the cup.

So you took it.

You brought the straw to your mouth and drank, feeling the cold soda running down your throat. But that wasn’t all you felt. Dave was watching. Not just casually. He didn’t look away the next second, didn’t glance at the screen as if nothing had happened. He was watching.

When you lowered the cup and handed it back to him, your fingers touched for a moment. Warm, slightly sticky from the popcorn salt, but still soft. Dave blinked a few times, as if processing something, and then drank from the same straw without a second thought.

The rest of the movie went on like that. Little moments that made it seem like you were something more. You whispered that you wanted to try the chocolate he bought, and he offered it, holding the candy near your mouth almost casually. Later, he made a comment about some scene, and you replied softly, leaning your face closer to his than necessary. It was all a silent game that neither of you seemed willing to admit you were playing.

But then the movie ended.

You needed to go to the bathroom, and Dave murmured that he’d wait outside. You nodded, adjusted your jacket, and walked away, trying to ignore the silly feeling that you were leaving something behind.

It was when you came back that you felt something strange.

There he was, standing near the theater exit, and right in front of him was a girl. You didn’t know her, but you recognized that smile. A sugary smile, a deliberate lean of her body toward him. She laughed softly, playing with her hair, saying something that made Dave furrow his brows, confused. And then you understood.

She was flirting with him.

And he had no idea.

Your body froze mid-step. It was stupid, but for a moment, you felt a strange weight in your chest. What would happen if, suddenly, someone started seeing in him what you saw? If someone looked at him and saw exactly what you saw? If someone fell for Dave Lizewski the way you were falling for him?

Your stomach churned.

That’s when he looked at you.

His face lit up in the same second, and he smiled—that genuine, easy smile he didn’t give to the girl in front of him. He muttered something quickly to her, nothing rude, just a hurried goodbye, and then started walking toward you.

And you, who still felt the heaviness in your chest, didn’t know what to do when he stopped beside you and asked, as if nothing had happened:

"Let's go?”

You could still feel the warmth of the movie theater on your skin, the memory of your fingers brushing against the popcorn, the brief touch of your hands, the low sound of his voice, raspy and almost lazy, echoing in your ear. It was absurd how every detail seemed amplified now, as if the simple fact of being alone on this walk made everything feel more real.

Dave adjusted the collar of his jacket, shoving his hands into his pockets, and took two quick steps to align himself beside you. He always did that—making sure you walked together, close, your shoulders almost touching with every movement. He glanced at you, looking like he wanted to say something, but then changed his mind and just let out a short sigh.

You bit your lip. You couldn’t get the image of the girl at the theater out of your mind. Or the way she looked at him, or the casual way Dave stood there, listening, completely unaware.

"She was pretty."

The words came out suddenly, and Dave turned his head toward you, slightly confused. "What?"

"The girl at the theater." You shrugged, kicking a small pebble on the path. "She was pretty."

He was silent for a moment, as if trying to figure out where you were going with this. Then he shrugged. "Yeah."

It was a small, indifferent sound. But for some reason, it annoyed you.

You huffed, crossing your arms, and looked at him. "And she was flirting with you."

Dave furrowed his brows, laughing lightly, as if that were absurd. "No, she wasn’t."

"Yes, she was."

"No, she wasn’t."

You stopped abruptly on the sidewalk, forcing him to stop too, his eyes widening slightly at your sudden hesitation. The cold wind passed between you, but all you felt was the heat rising to your face.

"You’re too much of an idiot to notice."

His smile faltered a little, and Dave opened his mouth, as if to retort, but couldn’t find the words.

"I’m not an idiot." He sounded slightly offended, furrowing his brows in a way that only made him seem more naive.

"Yes, you are."

"No, I’m not."

"Then tell me," you challenged, tilting your head to the side, crossing your arms as you stared at him. "If a girl were flirting with you, would you notice?"

Dave let out a nasal laugh, shaking his head. "Obviously."

"No, you wouldn’t."

"I would."

"You wouldn’t."

He rolled his eyes, sighing in an exaggerated way. "Okay, then. How are you so sure about that?"

And that’s when it happened.

You didn’t think much. You just looked at him, at his messy curls and blue eyes behind his glasses, at the face you knew so well and at the answer that had been begging to come out for a long time.

"Because I’ve been giving you every possible sign, and you haven’t noticed."

The silence that followed your confession wasn’t empty.

It was heavy, loaded with something indescribable, something that tightened your chest and made the air feel denser around you.

Dave stood in front of you, his face partially lit by the nearest streetlight, his hair casting shadows over his eyes. But even with the poor lighting, you could see it.

The shock.

His lips parted, as if he were about to say something, but nothing came out. His gaze fixed on yours, unblinking, and the expression that took over his face was a mix of disbelief and something deeper—something you couldn’t name.

You swallowed hard, feeling your heart hammering against your ribcage, the pulse vibrating in every extremity of your body. Your hands were cold, but the heat rising to your face was almost unbearable.

You had said it.

You had said it out loud.

And now there was no turning back.

Nervousness washed over you like a wave, sweeping away any trace of courage that remained. Your chest rose and fell in an uneven rhythm, and your fingers moved slightly, restless, before you finally let out the breath you hadn’t realized you were holding.

"I like you, Dave."

Your voice came out shakier than you wanted, but it was too late to fix it.

Dave blinked, as if the words had just hit him with full force.

"I’ve liked you for a while. A long time." You forced a short laugh, looking at the ground for a second before meeting his eyes again. "But you never noticed."

He wet his lips, looking away, at anything that wasn’t you, as if he were trying to organize his thoughts.

His mouth opened and closed again, without a single word coming out.

"Dave," you called, and he finally looked at you again.

His eyes were intense now, as if they were trying to absorb every detail of you, every tiny movement.

You felt the hesitation in the air.

The weight of what had just happened.

But then, he did something unexpected.

With an almost hesitant movement, Dave slowly raised his hand, as if testing his own limits, as if he still couldn’t believe he could touch you. His fingers brushed against the sleeve of your jacket before finally holding your forearm, the touch light, uncertain, but real.

"I’m an idiot."

His voice came out low, almost a whisper, and the way he said it made your chest tighten in a strange way.

You opened your mouth to say something, but he continued:

"I—" Dave took a deep breath, his eyes locking onto yours again, so close now that you could feel the warmth of his breath against your skin. "I didn’t notice because..." He swallowed hard, his fingers tightening slightly on your arm. "Because I never thought it was possible."

Your heart stopped for a second.

His eyes were locked on yours, and there was something so genuine there, something so true, that you felt your throat close up.

"I never thought you could like me."

The confession was soft, said with a half-smile that didn’t match the uncertainty shining in his eyes.

And in that moment, you realized.

You realized he wasn’t hesitating because he didn’t feel the same.

He was hesitating because he had always felt it.

Because he had always wanted it, but never thought he was allowed to want it.

You felt your breathing quicken, and the distance between you seemed smaller now, your bodies leaning in an almost imperceptible way, as if drawn to each other.

Dave blinked a few times, as if he were still trying to understand the reality of the situation. As if he were trying to memorize this moment, to store it somewhere safe inside himself.

And then, he laughed.

Soft, almost disbelieving.

"Shit." He ran a hand through his hair, messing it up even more, and shook his head. "I really am an idiot."

You let out a weak laugh, the nervousness still pulsing inside you, but now mixed with something else.

Something warm.

Something good.

Dave lowered his head for a moment, biting his lip before looking at you again, and then he did it again—that subtle movement of leaning closer. Not enough to break the last barrier between you, but enough for you to feel his warmth in the air, for every cell in your body to be aware of his presence.

"Tell me it’s not too late for me to notice now."

His tone was soft, but his eyes were intense, blue and fixed on you as if nothing else in the world existed.

And the answer came before you could even think.

"Of course it’s not."

[happy-tori-friends]

Splendont/Lifty (ft Shifty) - "You're going to get sick if you keep coddling me." "And you're just going to get worse if I don't..."

this was requested by me and myself. currently my 3 lines for wonderous tails is i pick a prompt and do it. i uh. didn't get three lines.

what happened was i did trial roulette in ffxiv while levelling pictomancer and got a trial i Loathe (we wiped a handful of times). then i sat in the long ass dps queue for main scenario roulette only to get porta decamura. i said id do one extra prompt if i got that, and id reblog a kink meme for prompts if i got praetorium. the third dungeon was just me streaming the next day. i decided to do all three so for the nsfwers look forward to that being reblogged to a happy-tori-friends near you.

unfortunately i specifically said prompts so i cant just write the degenerate mpreg fic i want to. so i went through all the lists and chose from one of the older ones - sickfic prompts. im incredibly very biased so you know who you're getting :)

THATS RIGHT ITS NUTTY X LIFTY!

just kidding. soon, should the requesters desire it.

so the prompt i chose was "you're going to get sick if you keep coddling me." "and you're just going to get worse if i don't..." from this list with a teenily weenily minor edit for duo purposes. i went with splendont x lifty with a slight side of shifty to mirror one of the rainy day prompts. yippee!

His brother shivered and sneezed within Splendont's embrace, letting out a groan. The redhead was gently stroking Shifty's hair, trying to soothe him to sleep. It was weird for Lifty to just see Shifty accepting it with no fuss, no fighting to say he didn't like it, but Shifty was doing worse with this illness by far. He wasn't even wearing his hat, just some comfortable pajamas, his eyes half-lidded as he shuddered and groaned in pain and coughed and sneezed.

Lifty took a breath before he began a coughing fit, grabbing onto his chest and rubbing in hopes of easing it. It didn't work. He let out a sigh at the end, trying to catch his breath, when Splendont pulled him closer, rubbing his back.

“You should try to fall asleep too. Do you need some water, maybe?” Splendont asked, humming as Shifty's eyes closed and his breathing slowed. “Let me put your brother in bed, okay? Then I'll get you a glass.”

He made a confirmative noise, sinking into the cushions on their crappy couch as the other got up. It was nice of him to come over and take care of them, make sure they had and took some medicine, and that they weren't doing anything stupid, but…

“You're going to get sick if you keep coddling us,” he murmured softly once he saw the other return, ears drooping as he winced at the sound of his raspy voice.

Splendont raised an eyebrow. “And you're just going to get worse if I don't. Would you two have tried to rest today, would you even have medicine to take?”

“That's…!” Lifty cut himself off with another coughing fit, the aching of his throat growing more intense. He grumbled softly when it finally ended, and looked up at his boyfriend, who held out a glass of water. Gingerly, he took it, taking a slow sip, still a bit disgruntled by his body cutting himself off.

“You don't need to worry about me, Lifts. Promise,” Splendont gently stroked his hair, like he had done for Shifty. “If I get sick, I get sick. I'm more worried about you two right now.”

Lifty sighed, relaxing at the soothing touch, just like Shifty had before him. He was already pretty tired, and the motion was comforting. His throat still ached, but maybe getting some rest would let the medicine work its charms. “Thank you,” he murmured, letting out a soft noise of approval. “Gonna try to sleep.”

“If your throat still hurts when you wake up, I’ll make you some tea with honey, alright? But you have to promise me that if I go to the store to get it and I leave you two alone, you won’t take anything more than I already gave you. Even if you’re desperate.” Splendont looked him in the eyes, a stern look in his eyes. “I’ll count how much there is before I go. I don’t want you to take more than you need.”

Lifty let out a soft huff. “I’m not that dumb. But I’ll make sure Shifty doesn’t,” he promised, setting down his empty cup before closing his eyes and leaning on the other. “Feels better ‘cause you’re here.”

The redhead let out a chuckle, standing up. “I guess love is a pretty good medicine.” He continued to stroke his hair as he walked in the bedroom. “I can tell you’re about to fall asleep. Get some rest, sweetheart.”

The younger hummed as he felt the drowsiness overtake him, curling up softly as he was laid in his bed and tucked in, finally succumbing to sweet slumber.

[yesimwriting]

Hi!!! I was wondering if you could do like a short story post or something I wonder how Our General Kirigan would react to a shy reader? Would he tease her? Be frustrated with her? And how would she react? Idk maybe just a thought 😅 I asked you because i really like your writing and I feel like you would really do a good job and I like the way you portray the General. 😊

a/n i have been crying/feeling shitty for the past two days for no reason!! so i thought it might make me feel better to try writing headcanons! i have SO MANY half done requests/fics but as of recently i hate everything that i write!! so i thought i'd work on this request that lends itself to headcanons

also im glad you like my writing :))

--

General Kirigan with a shy! reader headcanons:

- First things first, I think how he interacts with someone shy that he sees as a (potential) romantic interest varies per situation. Like generally, he finds the timidness kind of soft which is so different from what he's used to that he finds that aspect kind of endearing.

- He'd never admit that at the beginning, but the more time you spend with him the clearer it becomes to you because of how he acts when you're alone together

- At first, he'd hold onto his usual stoic disposition, but after realizing that at the end of the day your shyness is genuine and not an attempt to seem meek in order to trick people/him he'd begin to tease you about it when you two are alone.

- The first time he makes a comment that's just a little,, kinda-almost suggestive (a comment about how he wonders what it'd be like to be a Heartrender so that he could hear the change in your heartbeat every time you shied away from something) you're too confused to be embarrassed for like two seconds.

- You're basically that meme that's like did I hear that shit righttt??

- So you meet his gaze, and there's absolutely nothing but warm confidence there and you realize that he had in fact,,, said that.

- You hold his gaze for a moment out of protest (which is an incredible feat) and then you have to drop your eyes to the floor. You mumble some comment about how his ability to summon shadows isn't exactly a boring skill.

- Your reaction is so soft,, Kirigan can't help but be endeared even further. Something he wasn't exactly expecting and isn't too thrilled about. He doesn't think being shy makes you weak,, but he's extremely wary about how you're perceived and how people may treat you because of it.

- He doesn't doubt his ability to protect you, but he doesn't want to be distracted,, not with all he has to do.

- Still, he can't help mumble comments whenever there's a brief pause and you two are alone

- Meanwhile, you're starting to notice that now more situations keep coming up when you're left alone with Kirigan?? like he's always in the library when you are, he's always walking in to assess training when you're training and he just so happens to linger until you leave and then he just so happens needs to walk in the same hallway.

- It's a little strange at first,, but you're more horrified by the fact that you're not mad about it than the fact that it's happening. Especially since you know how much joy he gets from getting you flustered. You can see that in that slightly cocky uptilt to his lips whenever you're left gaping at him.

- Why doesn't it bother you?? You try to rationalize it and the only conclusion you can come to is the fact that he's attractive and powerful and even though your face gets hot whenever he talks to you,, there's appeal in those qualities. There's appeal in getting the infamous General to smile.

- Even if it costs you the bit of pride you have.

- You don't get why you're the one he seems to be going out of his way to speak to (maybe when your life is as stressful as his is,, at the end of the day you just want something easy and if he's in the mood to be flirty, you're easy) but you're not mad. You just have to constantly remind yourself to not be foolish enough to think you're the only one he goes out of his way to talk to.

- And as time progresses, you get a little more comfortable with his banter. You stop shying away completely,, which only encourages him to get bolder with his comments.

- Nothing insane,, not yet, just a little more direct.

- It kind of becomes a little game to him,, to see how flustered he can get you with the minimal amount of effort. Every once in awhile, you manage to act normally, but he's quick to shut that down by upping his game just slightly.

- After awhile, it starts to become a game for you too, to see how much of your instincts you can suppress just to take away some of his satisfaction. Only when he's getting a little too smug.

- But that's when y'all are alone...

- When you're surrounded by others, sometimes it feels like you don't even exist to each other. Sometimes that's a lonely feeling for both of you, but each of you is convinced that they're the only one that feels the absence.

- In your defense, you're much more entitled to those feelings because he can literally do whatever he wants. You can't just walk up to the General and do what?? ask him why he hasn't made any suggestive comment in the last couple of hours??

- please that embarrassing!! even if you weren't shy, that would be out of POCKET

- Meanwhile Kirigan is just like being angsty and debating the implications of seeking you out in an environment with so many important people. He could probably manage a minute or two by your side without making anyone suspicious, but the danger in that is that he won't be able to bring himself to leave after those minutes pass him.

- Worse,, he may even find an excuse for both of you to step out into the hall so that he can make his comments and take in your reactions in private.

- It's especially difficult when you have that one strand of hair just slightly out of place,, presenting the perfect excuse for him to just fix it and then drop his hand slowly so that his fingertips can brush the side of your cheek.

- And you're growing tired of the crowds of people you're not comfortable with and you're starting to feel more and more stupid for letting something that was so clearly just a playful distraction mean anything to you.

- But before either of you can succumb to your angsty pinning (cough, cough,, simps) his eyes will find yours from across the room and that's EVERYTHING

- At first, you want to be stiff and look away because it's probably not intentional, but then he gives you that little smirk. And then you feel stupid for ever doubting that you two at least have some kind of friendship. (maybe more,, but you're too scared to let yourself think that,, ;))

- And then you give him this shy smile,, and that's it. He's done--that one look undoes him entirely.

- So he starts shifting towards you as casually as possible, because if he can't be with you right now, surely being near you is good enough for now.

- You're unaware of this,, and when the moment ends you find yourself longing for more, but relatively satisfied. You don't expect anything from him, he's important and you're you.

- And being around people drains you because you genuinely want to stay out of any situation that would have too much attention on you at once. So once Kirigan moves and you can't find him in the crowd, you decide now is as good a time as any to step out and get some air, especially since no one currently needs you for anything.

- So you disappear into the corridor, planning to be gone only for a few minutes. But the second you're about two steps into the hallway, you hear another's footsteps.

- The hopeful part of you is like 'maybe it's him!!' but you don't really think that. There's something about the atmosphere that feels too tense,, too wrong for you to believe it's him.

- A moment later, your suspicions are confirmed. A grisha known for his impulsiveness is calling out to you, asking you where you're going.

- You explain that you just wanted to get some air and that you'd be returning in a minute. You try to sound dismissive, clearly establishing that you'd like your minute to yourself.

- It's clear that he understands the hint, but he doesn't move. He just keeps asking you questions.

- Your answers get shorter and shorter, the nerves your feeling tensing with each word as he begins to venture from falsely casual conversation to more flirtatious words. Being shy can leave you speaking too much, spluttering out words in hopes of saying the right thing to let you escape, but this is a different type of nervousness. Something feels wrong.

- And he just keeps saying things, things that even Kirigan wouldn't be able to get away with.

- All the while, you're desperate to escape, but they're persistent.

- And just when you're losing hope, and his advances get so bold he has you literally backed into a corner--a familiar voice comes to you like a lifeline.

- Kirigan, with all the authority of the general, questions what's going on. The guy that was so relentlessly hitting on you moves back like suddenly you're fire and begins to back away. He tries to explain himself but Kirigan is not having it.

- As soon as the stranger leaves, you feel like you can breathe again, but your nerves are still on edge. Kirigan's looking at you in a way you've never seen before. Sharp and almost--almost angry?

- You try to mumble a quick thanks, intending to disappear back to where you're supposed to be, but Kirigan's gaze keeps you planted against the wall.

- His gaze is so intense you ask him if he's alright.

- The question cracks something in him because of course you'd ask him if he's okay after something happened to you. His expression softens slightly, which you think is a good thing but then he speaks,, and his voice is not calm at all

- He's mad at the person that did that and the irrational part of him makes it seem like he's a little mad at you for letting that situation happen, but it's only because he's worried about what would have happened if he hadn't gotten there in time.

- And you're kind of confused because like?? what does he want from you? you made it clear you were uncomfortable and you were trying to get away?

- But after a quick snap and the fact that you're okay settles in,, he does feel a little bad. So he comes close to apologizing,, but that's basically just him saying he's glad that you're okay.

- You don't really ease, so he decides to make a partial joke about how maybe he needs to be around you more,, just to be safe,, you know

- And you smile slightly, and you're like 'y'know i'm not completely helpless.'

- and he's like 'pity,, i would've liked the excuse'

- your face instantly feels extremely warm and you're not sure what you could even, plausibly say to that. But you can't let him have the last word,, not like that. So you're overcompensating, rambling, but then at the end...you say something about how he doesn't really need an excuse to stay near you.

- When you realize what you've said, fight or flight kicks in,, but you can't move. And there's no casual way to escape, so you decide that maybe you'll cut your losses for today because that might have been your most significant reply to him ever, and you feel like an idiot because he was probably joking. And you just had to say that and make it weird.

- So you allow exactly one second of unfortunate silence, your eyes glued to the ground. And then you make some excuse about needing to get back to where you were.

- But Kirigan stops you, and you think about how you can't avoid looking him in the eyes forever, so you just kind of barely dare to glance upwards.

- And he's smiling broader than usual, the look is so warm it melts away all the bad feelings from earlier. You have absolutely no idea what it means, but you know it's not...bad.

- And then he shifts slightly, and that's when you realize he's never been this close before.

- He then asks if you're sure, voice much lower than earlier.

- You can't speak,, too trapped on a line you don't understand.

- But as he leans forward, the only answer he needs is the instinctual part of your lips as his warm breath reaches your cheek.

- And with that he turns his head just a fraction of an inch,, and his lips meet yours.

- It's just a quick brush of lips,, a soft test. And when you don't protest, he moves to let the contact be a little more assured, yet still teasing.

- Something in you grows impatient, and you move a little in hopes that he'll take the hint.

- But that's all it takes for him to pull away, expression bright and teasing before playfully chiding you for being so eager.

- He then turns, leaving you more flustered than ever.

[spamtonology]

any tips for writing spamton in a fic where the overall tone is more lighthearted? im writing an x reader and my writing style tends to be more lighthearted and sort of silly, plus its ultimately a fluff fic so yknow

since it focuses more on spamton and his inner thoughts, i am adding in references to his insecurities, sort of comparing himself to the trash hes surrounded by, not feeling good enough for the love interest, deciding he still needs the neo body if he wants a chance of winning them over, things like that

i have another one in progress where i portray him a lil differently. the idea in this one is that readers just got those Good Vibes and it lowers his guard a bunch, where in the other one he still takes advantage of their kindness to become neo and doesnt even recognize them as a friend until its (almost) too late

he has a similar revelation to ingame but instead of "youre giving me freedom even after everything i did to you?? maybe the real freedom was the friends we made along the way" its more like "you sacrificed everything for me and in the end nothing even came of it. maybe you werent stupid, maybe you were just Nice"

I'm afraid I don't think I understand your question too well, my apologies.

By lighthearted do you mean something with little conflict (which your description does not sound like) or something especially humorous? Even with the latter definition if you wanted to focus on Spamton's own insecurities and self-worth issues, it'd be hard to keep that simply humorous without suddenly swerving into dark comedy or even just depressing territory. While I can write comic scenes now and then, I'm definitely not the best at writing more lighthearted and sillier works, I tend to overthink things and take it too seriously.

I could give you tips about writing Spamton, or at least writing how I would interpret him in a specific scenario. For something more "lighthearted" you want to focus on his goofier side, with some of his sillier adspeak and behavior reflecting his odd, meme-y charm. Songs like One Weird Tip and classic Youtube Poops are often the source material for his bizarre sense of humor and style. Spamton does naturally come with dark humor, it is a part of his personality, but try not to overdo it.

You could create a scenario where Spamton's mind is continually fighting against itself, but the outside world of Cyber City and the activities he partakes in are quite pleasant (such as going out for dinner). It's still not exactly lighthearted, but it does provide an interesting contrast between two different perspectives.

You could also have him argue with his own psyche in there about his self worth. One part of him thinks he's the greatest salesman that ever lived and he's still wildly successful, but another part of him knows the truth, and finds him to be about as worthy as the trash he sleeps in. This study of his own self-contradictions seems like it would be a lot of fun to read about!

As for the NEO body, did his goal change after he met this self-insert? Initially, his motivations are purely selfish and for power, and he's not a sentimental person, so it would take something especially drastic for him to change his mind like that. I won't tell you to change your story or say you shouldn't do it, go for it if this is the end goal for your story! It's just my opinion that I don't find it very believable for his character.

I apologize again if that isn't the answer you were looking for, feel free to ask me again or come off anon. Remember this is YOUR story and you should focus on how YOU want to make it, not necessarily listen to a stranger's interpretations of a character they could be wrong about.

[monsterenergysimp]

Permanence

corpse husband x fem!reader 

summary: you meet corpse on a stream and you’re surprised when he reaches out to you 

warnings: cursing, mentions of tattooing

word count: 1.9k

notes: This is proof read but could have missed some stuff. This is my first corpse fic and my first time writing fanfic since I posted that super cringey book on wattpad when I was like 12 or something. I’d appreciate feed back so please reach out to me :)

main blog @itsmysleepover

read part 2 here!

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* 　　 *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

You were cleaning up your station so you can get home and stream. You loved your day job as a tattoo artist but you also really enjoyed streaming. It started as a way to promote yourself as an artist and the shop you worked at but it eventually became a really fun way to destress at the end of the week (or day if you were really itching to stream). “Hey Y/N was that your last client?” your boss, KC, asked as she walked to the front of the shop and put new flash drawings on the walls.

“Yes ma’am!” You said back excitedly. You finished cleaning your station and tossed your black gloves in the trash. “And you can’t trick me into staying and taking walk-ins,” you joked with her. She rolled her eyes and walked back into her office “It was one time,” she said as you slid on your jacket. As you walked out your phone buzzed in your pocket and you checked to see who had texted you. It was a message from Sean asking if you were free to play Among Us with him and some other streamers. You replied that you were on your way home right now and totally down. You were excited to see who was playing this time around since their Among Us streams are super entertaining and have gotten really popular.

On your way back you tweeted and posted to your Instagram story that you’d be streaming soon and set up all your stuff once you made it home. After a few minutes, you had a couple of thousand people watching. You entered the discord chat and Sean spoke up. “Everyone this is Y/N she’s sensitive so be gentle.”

“It’s nice to finally meet you guys and I’m not gentle, I'm ruthless,” You say into your mic and notice the chat calling you a liar. Everyone was in the lobby waiting for the game to start. “You sound way too sweet to be ruthless,” Corpse said. The countdown started and you were imposter with Charlie.

“This should be fun,” you told the stream. Yout tried playing strategically but after such a long shift your brain was mush. You saw Poki in nav and killed her then vented into shields. Not long after the body was reported and you were sure you were going to get voted out or at least sussed.

“Where was the body?” Felix asked. “Nav and I didn’t see anyone near there so whoever is imposter must have vented,” Corpse responded. Felix spoke up again. “I think I saw Y/N walk that way and I haven’t seen her since.”

Shit, shit, shit shit. “I’m in shield right now so-” you said trying to defend yourself but Charlie spoke up. “I was doing tasks with her earlier and I saw her walk into shields so she’s safe but I’m still not sure about Rae.” Everyone discussed a bit more and some people, including Corpse, voted for you but Rae got the majority vote and was ejected. You released your breath and kept playing being extra careful.  

“Okay, guys that was super close. Corpse knows and is out to get me,” you said to the chat. You were eventually voted off but one round later victory was written across your screen with your ghost and Charlie’s avatar. “Good game guys,” Corpse said.

“I told you guys I was ruthless!”

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* 　　 *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

You sat at your station doing nothing because a client had canceled a four-hour session. You were listening to music and sketching some stuff but you were bored out of your mind and you didn’t want to leave in case you got a walk-in. The music got quiet as you received a twitter notification saying someone had messaged you. You reached for your phone and saw you had gotten a dm from Corpse.

C: hey :)

You didn’t know what to respond. You were mostly confused as to why he decided to message you out of the blue. Did he want something? But what would he want?

Y: Hii! This is sudden

C: was i bothering you?

    shit sorry!

Y: Youre fine I wasn’t doing anything rn

C: how has your day been

    i dont usually do stuff like this

Y: Im glad you did im doing better now I was so bored

C: what were you doing that was so terrible

Y: NOTHING! thats the problem :(

C: im sure youll find something to do

You stared at his message. Unsure what to respond.

Y: Im gonna give myself a tattoo

C: what?

    NO!

You tossed the needles you used for your tattoo into the sharps box. “Oh my god you didn’t,” KC said. She noticed the wrap on your calve from the tattoo you just gave yourself out of boredom. “It’s not my fault I didn’t have anything else to do!” You said trying to defend yourself. She sighed and just shook her head. “Just go home business is slow today.” It was raining so the shop probably wasn’t going to get a walk-in anyway and you didn’t have any more clients for the day. It was only 2 pm but you drove home and after making lunch for yourself decided to stream. You weren’t expecting too many people so it was bound to be super chill. Your leg felt sore reminding you of the tattoo. You snapped a quick pic of the fresh jack-o-lantern on the side of your calve and messaged it to Corpse.

Y: [image] it came out nice!

C: thats  super cool actually

    i was concerned why you would just give yourself a tattoo but i found your instagram and       youre super talented

Y: Thank you!

For some reason, it felt strange to just have that be the end of your response.

Y: Im about to start streaming if you wanted to watch

    [link]

C: ill be watching ;)

What’s that supposed to mean?

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* 　　 *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

You sat in your apartment watching tv, hand lost in a bag of Doritos, and scrolling through twitter. You had stopped paying attention to the anime playing on the screen since you’ve watched it a hundred times and knew you wouldn’t miss anything. It was Saturday and you usually take those days off. Take the time to do chores or meet up with some friends but today you felt like not doing any of those things. As you continue your endless scroll (not helping the twitter addiction you told yourself you’d try to get a handle on) you got a message from Corpse.

C: wanna talk?

You looked down at the message unsure of how to answer. It was a simple yes or no and the obvious answer was yes. You and Corpse had started talking more regularly. You still didn’t have each other’s phone numbers but it was fine. Your conversations weren’t too big-- just you sending him memes, tiktoks, and telling him how much you liked the songs he would drop. Or him complimenting a tattoo you did. Sometimes he’d message you during streams telling you funny stuff his fans would say in the chat and you’d do the same. You learned a bit about each other but nothing too deep or serious. Like how you two lived a few cities away and you both really liked Donnie Darko. When Sean first invited you to that game out of everyone else there you were most excited to meet Corpse. He’s just so sweet and funny. Of course, you’d love to talk to him but you were also itching to talk to him and the last thing you’d ever want to do was make him uncomfortable.

Y: Yeah id love to talk

Here goes nothing.

Y: Wanna facetime or something?

     No pressure or anything it could even be a regular call

     I think facetime is just my default lol

You sent those last two messages quickly after you had sent the first. You wished you could know what he was thinking. It was killing you to think you had turned him off from talking to you completely. You put your phone down on the couch and went to wash your hand of Dorito dust. When you got back from the kitchen you turned off the tv and tossed yourself onto the couch.

Still no message.

Why am I so fucking stupid?  

Just as you were standing up to stretch from sitting on the couch all day your phone buzzed. You reached for it fast and looked to see that it was him. You became super excited still not even knowing what the message said. It could have told you to never talk to him again for all you knew.

C: sure lets facetime

    xxx-xxx-xxxx

You had his phone number. You added him to your small but growing contact list and called. You sat on your couch waiting for a response when he finally picked up the screen was black. It didn’t upset you; you kind of expected it and didn’t care what he had to do to make himself more comfortable during this call.

“Hey,” he said. His voice was raspier than usual.

“Did you just wake up?” You asked and looked at the time. It was about a little past noon and you had only eaten Doritos all day. Shit, you should probably make a decent meal.

“Not that long ago but yeah,” he responded and giggled. That giggle.

“Well, I’ve eaten nothing but Doritos all day while rewatching Ouran High School Host Club, so you’re welcome to join me as I make myself something to eat.”

“Sounds like fun; what are we eating?”

“I don’t know yet,” You said as you stood up and made your way to the kitchen. You opened the pantry and looked. You noticed a can of diced tomatoes and reached for it then checked the expiration date. It was still good. On your counter were some onions and garlic. “How about some tomato soup?”

“Sounds delicious.” you smiled at Corpse and your phone screen not knowing if he was also looking at his screen or not. “You’re really pretty-- you know that?”

“Thanks, but you don’t have to--”

“I’ve already told you what an incredible artist you are so many times I bet you’re tired of hearing it, but you already know what a talented artist you are.”

“That is very kind of you Corpse,” you said to him bashfully as you chopped the onion and opened the can of tomatoes. “But once again you don’t have to reach so far to compliment me.”

“I’m not reaching you are talented and beautiful and--”

“I thought I was pretty.” You could hear him chuckle with a smile on his face. “You’re both,” he said. You could feel your face getting warm from blushing.

“Fuck you you’re making me blush. My face is all hot and stuff.”

He laughed at how flustered you got. “That’s the cutest thing ever.”

You didn’t know how to respond so you just put some olive oil in a pot and tossed in your onions. It became silent but it was a comfortable silence. You turned the stove on and watched the flame for a few seconds. “If it was dark we could pretend we were together and having a bonfire or something,” you said to the phone as you turned the camera to show him the flame (still not 100 percent sure if he was looking at you or not).

“I’ll put it on the list of things to do when you visit me someday.”

[illneverrecover]

call you mine (M) | changkyun

➛pairing: Im Changkyun (I.M.) x reader ➛genre: friends with benefits!AU,  non Idol!AU, angst, smut, fluff. ➛word count: 2,741 ➛rating: M ➛warnings: idk this is truly some sweet soft shit, mentions of alcohol, friends with benefits, standing sex, slight rough sex, biting/marking because clearly I have a kink, unprotected sex, creampie, mentions of Mingi!!, lots of kissing, soft clown Chaingang truly.  ➛summary: Changkyun knew he ruined your friends with benefits arrangement when he let his feelings be known, and now you’ve left him on read for weeks. So he does the only thing he can to stay sane - he religiously watches your Instagram stories. ➛notes: Another first for me - my first Monsta X fic! I’ve played around with writing Changkyun for a while now, mostly because I live to torture @taetaesbaebaepsae​ (which she deserves from all the PAINFUL and RUDE Baekhyun shit she’s written for me). However, she decided to actively commission her own demise, because she stays not listening to Namjoon and refuses to love herself. I’m glad I finally got a chance to take a stab at writing her ult, and I hope I did him justice! Enjoy your tomfoolery, Kristin! 💖 ➛song: Call You Mine -  The Chainsmokers & Bebe Rexha | Horizon - I.M. & Elhae

It’s pathetic, he knows.

The way he can’t stop watching, the way he seeks your face out in an app full of millions of others. The way he can’t get you out of his bed, his head, his thoughts.

He fucked up, scared you off, and now he’s left with the aftermath of his own stupidity. Watching you through a screen to fight the withdrawals off, to keep his heart beating.

Changkyun knows you would laugh at him if you saw what he was doing. 

Watching your Instagram stories is the only reason he’s heard you laugh in over two weeks, the only way he’s been able to see your eyes light up, your lips curve into a salacious grin. Things he fucking missed, thought he would have plenty of time to indulge in - until he couldn’t keep his mouth shut and ruined it.

He had taken you back to his place after a few shots of whisky at the dingy local bar, hands and mouth unable to leave your skin - just like the hundreds of times before. It had been four months since you had started this friends with benefits relationship, and despite having freedom to see whomever he wanted, Changkyun found himself only starving for you. So hungry that he couldn’t stand another moment in that place, watching you share your smile with anyone other than him. So he had tugged you close, nipped at your ear, told you that you were so damn beautiful that he couldn’t stand there another minute without you coming undone around him. 

You had smirked, slid your hand down the front of his pants, grabbing his cock like you owned it, purring out the words “prove it” before following him outside, just like the hundreds of times before.

Pressed up against his wall, his pelvis flush with yours, Changkyun whispered filth in your ears as he ground up against you, swallowing your moans in greedy kisses. Desperate fingers had pulled at your top, freeing your breasts for him to worship as he worked your skirt up around your waist, thrusting his clothed length against your core until you were whining.

Changkyun always promised to take his time with you, to work you over until you were drunk on his touch and pleading for more - but you never let him, always knowing the right thing to say to get his gaze to go dark and lust to turn frantic, to unzip his jeans and press inside your dripping cunt right there in the hallway. 

Just like the hundreds of times before.

You had come around him, digging your nails in his back so hard it left marks, made him growl your name against your collarbone as his thrusts picked up speed to fuck you through the high. You urge him on in the way only you can manage, begging for his release, whispering how much you want his come deep in your cunt. Biting down against the skin, he had spilled inside you with a final groan, hips twitching as he pumped you full of him, forehead resting against your shoulder.

Instead of pulling away immediately, Changkyun remained collapsed against you, breathing heavy. You had smacked at his shoulder, but he just chuckled, arms adjusting to continue a firm hold of your legs as he stayed inside of you, trapping you against his body and the wall.

“What are you doing, Kyun?” scoffing, you had grasped his jaw, forcing him to look at you. “I let you fuck me dirty against the wall without even demanding you buy me food after. Least you can do is let me get cleaned up.”

He had gazed up at you then, eyes piercing as they looked through you, and your heart clenched tightly in your chest. 

He knew he shouldn’t say it. Knew it would scare you off. And yet….

“I would, you know.” Swallowing thickly, his tongue darted out to wet his lips. “Take you to go get food. If you - I mean, if you wanted. If you’d let me.” 

It was like he could see the carefully crafted defenses go up, the pain etching your brow and making your eyes go cold. Anxiety flooded his veins as you wiggled out of his grasp, sliding your clothes back into place as you moved towards his bathroom.

“You don’t mean that,” you murmured, faking a smile. “You know what this is, Kyun.”

“I do mean that!” He knew he sounded too eager, too pitiful, but he couldn’t stop himself. “I’d take you out to dinner. Or,” following you, he paused in the doorway, watching you appraise yourself in the mirror. “We could just get take-out and go somewhere private, drive to a park, bring a blanket and some booze, eat somewhere no one would know or bother us.” 

Your answering laugh had sounded wrong, like it had cost you something - like it was the last thing you had wanted to do. 

“Like a picnic? Changkyun, you’re saying you want to take me on a picnic? Like a proper date?”

Stuttering, he tried to explain himself, but you had cut him off with a single wave. 

“Listen, we both know I’m not that kind of girl, and you don’t want me to be.” Leaning forward, you had pressed a kiss against his mouth, your eyes somber when you had pulled away, moved towards the door. 

“What if I do?” His voice broke, wanting to reach out but his arms remaining stiff at his sides. “What if I want you to be that kind of girl, with me?”

Tears stung your eyes, your stomach sinking like you had been punched. You couldn’t do this, couldn’t handle the inevitable disappointment that would come when you got your hopes up.

“I’ll see you around,” you threw over your shoulder before shutting the door, and shutting him out. 

Just like the hundreds of times before.

It had been two weeks now since he last saw you in person. It wasn’t for lack of trying; texting you at all hours had proven fruitless, even when he tried to send the usual ‘you up’ message like he didn’t just lay his heart out on the line. You responded airily, non committal, and he knew what you were doing. 

You were trying to let him down easy.

So here he was, phone glued to his hand as he scrolled through to find your picture, clicking on it to see if there was any update. You didn’t post a bunch in your feed, but you had a tendency to update your stories often - filling them with silly memes and cute selfies, little videos of you going about your day. Cuddling with your cat, attempting to cook something for lunch. His favorite was when you would do tarot readings for your followers; the way your face would turn serious as you read the cards, passionate fire in your eyes as you helped deliver the message to its owner. 

Seeing you that excited and genuine did something to him, made his chest feel like it was going to explode.

He knows you can tell that he’s watching, can see the icon of his profile showing up at the bottom of the video under “seen by.” He can only imagine what you’re thinking when you see it - that he’s a loser, this friend with benefits who turned lovesick puppy, but he can’t make himself care. It’s the only way he feels close, can pretend you’re still in his life.

He never thought that he would need you, now all he wants is to see you - for you to answer him, to come back to him. 

Changkyun still sends texts, unable to stop his fingers from reaching out, despite knowing you’ll shut him down. He calls sometimes too, late at night when his blood is more whisky than plasma, though you never answer those. Instead he listens to your voicemail, eyes closed to stop the world from spinning, letting your voice lull him to sleep. 

He convinces himself he’s fine with this arrangement, that things would be alright. He can just miss you from afar, observe you live your life through the pixels of a screen. That watching your stories is enough for him, will keep him afloat.

Until he sees you with someone else.

It was another Friday night he was spending alone, half drunk and on his phone, looking for your picture. Taking a deep breath, he had felt his heart stop when he saw the rainbow ring adorning your profile photo, meaning you had updated your story. Sighing, he tapped it, hoping that it would be a few videos so he could pretend for just a moment that he was beside you instead of wasting space on his bed.

The first clip was a selfie, your heavily lidded eyes staring seductively at the camera through your lashes, making his pulse jump and pants tighten. The caption “gonna get drunk tonight!” scrolled across the image, right below the pout of your lips. The next was a small video of you making a drink, giggling about the mixture of tequila and soju you were tossing in your cup, whispering to the camera how it was going to get you ‘all the way fucked up’. But it was the third clip that had his chest heaving, his lungs forgetting how to work.

You were walking out your door, a few people cluttering your front porch as you asked if anyone had a light. Some tall red headed kid - Changkyun refused to acknowledge him as anything more than that - had shouted out, and you squealed as you ran up to him, sliding directly onto his knee before switching the camera into selfie mode to capture the two of you. The next clip was you in his lap, one of your delicate hands sliding through his hair as he gave you a big dopey grin, a cigarette perched on your lips as you cooed at him and told him just how cute he was.

Fuck. He knew that look of yours, knew those moves. Knew exactly what you were doing, what you were hoping to do with that fucking Mingi kid, and he couldn’t stand it, not anymore.

Taking a few deep pulls directly from the liquor bottle, his fingers flew over the keys of his phone, sending you text after text -  all of which were ignored. He knew calling would be pointless, that you would rather light yourself on fire than answer your phone - especially at a party - and he felt desperation creep up his throat, choking him.

Changkyun couldn’t let this happen. Couldn’t let you just forget about him.

Clicking back onto Instagram, he started sending you responses to the story video as he got dressed, throwing on the nearest pair of jeans and sliding on his boots.

<What are you doing? Why won’t you answer my texts? I fucking miss you.>

<And not just fucking you. I miss you. I miss us. If you want me to stay for the rest of my life, I will. You already got me.>

<Answer me, Y/N. Or I’m going to come over, see if you can ignore me to my face>

<Baby?>

<I’m on my way. Don’t take that kid to your bed.>

It took painfully long for the Lyft to show up, and he gritted his teeth the whole route there, knee bouncing to stop himself from demanding the driver to go faster, to just hurry the fuck up and get to you. 

When the car had pulled into your neighborhood, he tried to send another message, instead clicking a video. Too frustrated to change it back, he lets it record, his voice low and pained. 

“I’m on my way, please let me in.” 

You were alone on the deck when your phone started vibrating, the ding of an Instagram direct message making you click the app, eyes widening in surprise when you saw the number of notifications. 

Changkyun, all from him.

Awestruck, you scrolled through every line, your heart throbbing with each word he had written. 

You didn’t think he cared, not like that. Sure, he missed the sex, but that’s what you expected. That’s what all of them wanted when they sent you late night texts, when they called your phone at three in the morning. Empty promises and broken vows were what kept you company in the dark, when they’d predictably leave you alone with an ache between your legs and in your chest.  None of them really wanted you, cared about you. After a few weeks of ghosting, they’d all disappear into thin air like expected, and your heart would harden just a bit more.

But now…

Another chime pulls you from your thoughts, eyes flicking back to the light of your phone. Instead of another direct message, it’s a notification that Changkyun had updated his story for the first time in months. 

Shaking fingers slide against the screen, your vision blurring as you take in the shadowed back seat of another person’s car, the only light  neon pink from the sign of the Lyft drivers decal. For a moment, all you can hear is the quiet chattering of a distant radio, of someone breathing heavily. 

And then his voice croaking over the speaker, raspy with need. 

“I’m on my way, please let me in.”

The video fades just as a car pulls up to your curb, a flurry of movement as Changkyun climbs out, stumbles towards you. He all but collapses into your arms, his breath dripping with liquor, eyes reddened but burning fiercely.  

“Y/N,” he mumbles, hands coming to cup your face, thumb dragging against the smooth skin of your cheek. “I want to take you on a picnic.” 

You laugh, though it comes out more like a sob. “What? What are you talking about? Did you call a Lyft and come all the way across town to tell me that, you clown?”

His finger taps against your lips once, twice. “Shh. Just let me-” he sighs, stomping a foot. “Let me talk.” 

He waits until you nod before continuing, words surging from his mouth as if he couldn’t hold back a second longer. 

“I came all the way here because I want to take you on a picnic. I want to buy you food and take you on cute little dates and do cheesy things that make you smile at me like you are right now,” he grins, pulling you until your chest rests against his own. “I’m here because I couldn’t stand you ignoring me anymore. I meant everything I said - that I miss you, that I want to be with you, if you’ll give me the chance. I want to call you mine.”

Pressing his forehead against yours, his eyes fall shut, his voice fervent and barely more than a whisper. 

“I love you, Y/N.”

Tears brim your eyes, and you fight every old wound that tells you to shove him away, to call him a liar. Instead you allow yourself to follow your gut, your heart for what feels like the first time, leaning back to give him a watery smile in return. 

“I love you too, Changkyun.” 

His mouth immediately lands on yours, tongue eagerly tracing the seam of your lips until it’s slipping inside, tasting every inch of you, ravenous and unsatisfied until your knees are shaking. He’s walking you backwards towards the door, tugging at your clothes, and you giggle at his impatience.

Pulling away, you gasp for air, palm pressing against his shoulder to hold him back for a moment. “But listen, if I give you a chance, that means you have to stop stalking my Instagram, you creep. And don’t try to deny it, I see you all over my stories, lurking around.” 

He chuckles then, nipping at your bottom lip as his eyes darken. “Please, don’t act like you don’t love the attention,” 

Pushing the door open, he guides you inside, mouth working over your neck, arms wrapped around your waist until your back is flattened against the wall. 

“Plus, there’s no need, now that I got you,” he confesses, his nose swiping against yours gently before he captures your lips between his own, hitching your legs to drape around his waist as he grinds against you, humming words of praise.

Just like the hundreds of times before, but now as his.

[vroomian]

(headdesk slam) Yes, that was 2/2 percent didn’t even realize I forgot to add it in the message until after I sent it and spent like 5 mins internally screaming at myself. I’m a mess of a human being tbh. Really? I’m surprised because it feels like Xi fits perfectly in this AU. Xi as accidental cryptid is the best thing, in both worlds. That’s a relief to hear. My anxiety and I don’t get along so I tend to go to worst possible scenario. You’ll probably regret that soon enough. 1/2

I’m like a magpie if something catches my interest and I’ll fuss over it and go all crazy. Especially now, seeing that you did that hob oneshot and mdzs that is two of the main three bl web novels that I now of. Like, of the three I’ve only fully read svsss and my mind immediately went to wonder where Xi would fit in that verse and at this point he’d totally be where the biggest amount of knowledge is and that my mind went ‘what if Xi was head disciple of Qing Jing Peak?’ 2/?

But that’s pretty unlikely given Xi’s desperate avoidance of feelings, plot, and responsibility. Though I could totally see him as a reluctant head disciple and desperately trying to avoid plot. Plus, definitely the first to notice that something would be off with this new Qingqiu. That said, bullying in his peak would not fly with him so I could see Binghe crushing on this unknown elder disciple.

3/3 I’m sorry I don’t want to make it seem like I want to push you to write another AU when you’ve got enough on your hands. My mind just just went ‘ooh what if this happened?’ And I wanted to share my thoughts with you because I think it’s interesting. So yeah, again feel free to ignore this. I’m like that guy from the meme with the pictures on the wall and red thread when my brain goes nuts lol.

long ask so this goes under the cut

okay there are a million different ways this question could go, because like. is yrz female in this universe? is he male? is he older than the main characters? is he younger? which sect is he living near? is his family nice or assholes? which version of the story is he in? the sssvs version or the actual original demon path novel (or whatever it’s been a while since i read the novel)??? does yrz get a system??? 

because the answers to those questions change the story drastically 

okay so lets do two versions 

one: it’s sssvs. yrz has a ‘background character system’ or something.  he’s gotta have a system otherwise he wouldn't get without a thousand li of cang qiang sect. so this systems chooses him (lets say he’s a guy in this universe) because its low key and yrz is low key and it was like hey lets be low key together!

lol system. 

lol. 

but the system and yrz get along pretty well, and they get into the peak they want -- which is Wan Jian peak, because if yrz can’t join the library peak because of Plot reasons, he’s going with hsi second love. Swords! plus i don’t think there are literally any named characters from the story, except the peak lord. 

so. timeline wise, i think that none of the peak-lords have ascended yet, so yrz does his natural thing --- he over performs and becomes the head disciple for wan jian peak  as consequence and it’s literally just in time for the former peak lords to ascend, so yrz is like. stuck. as a peak lord. 

both the system and yrz are horrified and confused as to how this happened. or, no, by then the system understands the Mistake it made in choosing yrz. on paper yrz is very unassuming! but in reality yrz has no chill. he’s never even heard of the concept of chill. he does everything at 110%.

I think that the bulk of this story takes place waaaay before the sssvs cannon, and lbh is sir not appearing in this fic. instead its -- liu qingge! and mu qingfang! both??? both is good! i think he meets lqg first, when he challenges yrz to a spar in the middle of a high stakes missing because lqg is a meathead jock at that age, and yrz is like. no? do your job? dumbass. (yrz has no idea who this shouty brat is, because the system is taking a nap. it wakes up and kicks itself for leaving yrz alone to do stuff.) yrz is older than lqg and kicks his ass because... well. because it’s hilarious really. so he gains a lqg shaped stalker. 

yrz has a lot of interest in both sparring and healing, and with lqg following him around, yrz spends a lot of time at the healing peak and meets mqf there. mqf gets a huge crush almost immediately but never said anything. it’s not surprising that yrz quickly bonds with these totally cool new disciples -- and then learns that both of the are the succeeding disciples for their peaks. oops. 

system gives up. 

version two: bing-ge edition! 

no system this time around and yrz stays far far away from the cang qiong. he joins a small sect to learn than fucks off to have adventures by himself as a rouge cultivator. so, male version again BUT yrz gets cursed or something and gets the ability to change gender at will because that’s funny and useful. also you know. porn world written by a “straight” guy. there are reasons for that kind of curse imma just gloss over. 

then the plot happens. all of immortal demon path’s many, many chapters are playing around in the background of yrz’s life, but she manages to stay out of it -- until one night yrz gets accidentally recruited by a cult dedicated to bringing down the evil demon lord lbh, because this cult has a book yrz is after. she ends up being used as bait for lbh (because he eats virgins now according to rumors. he’s up to wife number 249 by now so it’s not wrong !) 

yrz gets ‘saved’ by lbh, who’s kind of smirking and going ‘oh, no need to thank me, it was what anyone would have done,’ while totally expecting sex. yrz is like ‘oh, cool. bye then.’ and just. takes the book and leaves. 

lbh: *surprised pikachu face*

and by the time he registers no sex is going to be happening, yrz is long gone and enjoying her brand new book. 

after that, lbh and yrz end up seeing each other (mostly because lbh is trying to impress this woman and nothing is working) and yrz is like stop being a creep, i’m not interested in you. lbh needs to drink his respect woman juice and downsize on his harem a bit. yrz wouldn’t touch that with a twenty foot pool. 

anyway i think it comes to a head when they both get doused in pa pa pa juice and lbh is like oh this is more familiar, shall we? and yrz is like bitch. and goes to a brothel in the city instead. at this point yrz and lbh are more like antagonistic buddies than anything else. lbh has too many wives and zero friends. 

lbh starts developing some squishy feelings and is like what the fuck is this?? gross?? but he says nothing because he doesn’t get it. 

then the cross over happens, bing-ge vs bing-mei!!! and after than happens, yrz is just chilling at home and lbh shows up at her place like really fucked up and subdued. he’s like ‘why him? why did he get the good teacher? what did he do right?’ 

yrz is like... hm. emotions. ew. she trys anyway because she’s finally ready to admit that she does like this trash goblin at least a little. so she takes care of him while he’s being depressed. lbh cooks for her and she’s like. this is so fucking good. thank you. 

and lbh is just in love now. it’s nothing like he feels for his wives, but yrz makes lbh feels safe and accepted. it’s a comforting and comfortable love. yrz’s stupid little house is more of a home than lbh’s stupid palaces. 

look. i stand by the head cannon that all lbh wants is to be a househusband, no matter what version im talking about. 

lbh vanishes for a whole night. yrz is like hm, my house feels empty now. weird! and then lbh comes back and announces that he just divorced all his wives. he doesn’t want to be powerful anymore so can i stay herer with you. 

yrz is like... sure. 

and then there’s a long, long courtship and lbh marries yrz and archives his dream of just being fucking happy. the end!

[lavenderlattaes]

txt as high school au tropes

⇒ summary: txt in a high school au setting.

⇒ [ high school! au ]

⇒ pairing: txt x reader

⇒ word count: 2.5k words

⇒ genre: fluff

⇒ warnings: cursing, mentions of fighting, parties, making out

⇒ note: hello,, yeonjun’s cover got me so emo last night that i knew i just HAD to finish this so i can finish the bad boy au i had started writing for him sksks. Also i only had a bad boy fic planned for yeonjun, but if you guys think i should write for the other members too, please send me an ask! ignore mistakes bc im a bit of a blind bat and enjoy!  ＼ʕ •ᴥ•ʔ／

choi yeonjun:

↳ the bad boy

YES.

C’mon guys, this is badboy!!!! Yeonjun!!!!

okay, so yeonjun’s definitely the leather jacket wearing, motorcycle riding kind of badboy

the one that gets into all the fights (ง’̀-‘́)ง

the one that smokes and drinks and punches his way around bc he cannot, for the life of him, control his emotions and feelings ‾͟͟͞(((ꎤˋ⁻̫ˊ)—̳͟͞͞o

he’s also hardly at school

but on the rare days that he’s actually at school, he’s always punching someone or he’s all bloodied and bruised

like,,, dude do you wanna die N O W???

the first time you met was at the nurse’s office

oh wow i wasn’t expecting that

the nurse wasn’t around but you volunteered there frequently, so you were the only one there

the door opens and you’re surprised to see someone you’re not familiar with??

he wasn’t wearing your school’s uniform,,,

who is this dude and why is he heRE

but he looked like shit and like he was gonna die

so even if he may be part of some sketchy gang

you had no choice but to patch him up pspspsps

he was covered in scratches and bruises and his lip and eyebrow were bleeding

ffs man

you told him to go sit on a bed while you went around looking for all the supplies you needed

yeonjun was being a lil shit too, bc he wouldn’t cooperate right away but eventually after threatening him that he might die if he was being choosy about who’s gonna patch him he gave in

so you started to patch him up and he was just

s t a r i n g 

like 

⊙﹏⊙

D U D E

he’s really attractive if he just wasn’t into fighting all the time y’know

girls still occasionally wanna try “breaking his badboy rep” 

all that cliché stuff

you get really conscious under his gaze and then he asks for your name and you ask him what happened instead psksks

he goes (◕︵◕)

so you give him your name fAM AND HE SAYS, “I’m Choi Yeonjun”

pspspspp

and then he tells you that he’s friends with two other choi dudes who are also really well known in your school

and then it hits you

HE’S THE BADBOY EVERYONE’S TALKING ABOUT

damn y/n you’re so lost fam 

lmao so he does go to your school but you’ve never seen him before????

you finally finish patching him up and you wrap his knuckles in a gauze and his arm as well

hIS ARM HAD A HUGE ASS CUT btw

“what kind of fight did you even get into?” (´･(´･(´･(´･(´･(´･д･`) ･`)･`)･`)･`)･`)

“the kind where I almost die???” (￣ω￣;)

eye-

after getting him all patched up, you take a good look at him and whew he’s all better now

he doesn’t look like he’d die any minute 

then you smile at him like (✿◠‿◠)

AND HE SAYS 

“I like your smile, can I call you sunshine?”

PSPSPSPSPSPSP

yeonjun’s about to leave when you’re still bothered by the large cut on his eyebrow

“Wait!”

you pull out a cute rubber ducky cartoon band-aid from your pocket and place it on top of the cut sKSKSKKS

after he finally leaves and says goodbye, yeonjun suddenly can’t stop thinking about you

and maybe, just maybe, you can’t stop thinking about him too.

choi soobin:

↳ the rich kid

okAY so remember how badboy! yeonjun was friends with 2 other chois

Well duh who would those other two be (●´ω｀●)

so soobin’s the riCH KID!!

like, he be drippin in finesse yo

(okay that was bad)

he wears gucci, channel, louis vuitton, armani, all that shit

tO SCHOOL

jk you guys had uniforms

but there’s always something expensive on him

whether it be his shoes, or his bag, or maybe a ring

AND EVERYONE LIVED FOR RICH KID CHOI SOOBIN WEARING HIS ROLEX 乂❤‿❤乂

but he isn’t exactly the friendly type (๑◕︵◕๑)

he’s the quiet one out of the three of them and he always keeps a straight face

＼| ￣ヘ￣|／

Like that ^^^^

despite having literally no emotion on his face whatsoever, his lips always seem to be upturned in a pout ksskskksks

and despite his cold personality, that doesn’t stop the girls from swooning over him lol

so,, y/n you’re a pretty clumsy simpleton

dID I JUST USE SIMPLETON

and you somehow,,, idk 

the world hates u

you accidentally bump into him like really hard when he was adjusting his precious Rolex on his wrist and the collision caused his Rolex...to...fly…

basically you broke his watch.

sKSKSKSKSKSKKSKS DUDE

Y/N YOU BETTER RUN AWAY NOW FAM

and everyone that was there was like :000

And soobin is just ( •̀ω•́ )σ

And you’re ಥ_ಥ

but he just sighs, picks up his broken watch and slips it into his pocket and walks away as if nothing happened

HNGGGGG o(╥﹏╥)o

you’re so guilty that you started to come up to him everyday asking how you could repay him and if you could,,, you know,, pay for it in six months time or some shit

and after a few days soobin’s had enough of you following him around

and (￣ｰ￣)ﾉ

“can you stop annoying me? It’s an expensive watch, you can’t possibly pay for it”

wOW OKAY :///

“But i feel really bad for breaking it...( ˃̣̣̥ω˂̣̣̥ )”

so soobin decides to make you his “servant”

and you know it’s stupid ,,, just bc he’s rich as hell doesn’t mean he can treat you like that

but he wasn’t giving you any options so you had no choice

you followed him around now and well, somehow

you got to know the real choi soobin hiding under all that expensive clothing and jewelry

the choi soobin that built his walls up so high that no one saw except his other two friends

and now, you.

choi beomgyu:

↳ the heartbreaker

YES CHILDREN

THIS BOY

steals hearts left and right

or: also known as the fuckboy

skskskksksks

he slept around and girls always fell victim to his charms

aside from the fact that he was just really really good looking and handsome and gorgeous and-

he was also really friendly and funny

you’d see him at parties all the time, and sometimes with soobin and yeonjun too 

there’s always a random girl on his arm too lmao

beomgyu’s never brought a girl to bed more than once before

it’s always just making out for like hours and one night stands here n there

and flings here and there

never had a serious relationship ever

and all the girls at school are fighting to be the one he decides to “do” more than once

(・_・ヾ

i mean,, who wouldn’t want to be the first girl choi beomgyu ever fucks more than ONCE 

but you just can’t seem to share the same sentiment with the other girls at school

shouldn’t they be fighting over who gets to be his first serious girlfriend or sumth? the girls in your school r weird tbh

besides,, you’re too busy looking for new memes or something and aren’t fuckboys supposed to be the type to do one night stands anyway???

but you know, you’re the mc in this world y/n

and you caught beomgyu’s eye bc he’s always noticed you on your phone laughing at something or bopping your head to some cool new song

he can’t stop smiling every time he sees you do that

BC YOU’RE JUST SO CUTE AND OMFG IS CHOI BEOMGYU CATCHING ACTUAL FEELINGS

and get this,,, beomgyu’s never been the type to be all shy and flustered bc that’s just so not him

but then you get partnered up for a project and suddenly you’re approaching his desk with a bright smile on your face and 

sKSKSK heLP HIM SOMEONE P L E ASE

“hi! I’m y/n!” you extend your hand out for him and he just

ฅ(*°ω°*ฅ)

seeing beomgyu all flustered makes you giggle and he breaks out of his trance and goes back to his old self

“Hey, y/n. Let’s have a great time together(づ｡◕‿‿◕｡)づ”

so that’s how you and beomgyu become friends

even after the project ended you still hung out and you even became somewhat friends with yeonjun and soobin

you sometimes went to parties with him too

and whilst beomgyu fell deeper for you

you remained clueless as ever

you just thought it was him being friendly and stuff bc that’s what he does

what you did notice though

beomgyu hardly made out or slept with anyone at parties now

he hung out with you and played games with you and with soobin and yeonjun

and he didn’t usually go to parties now if you couldn’t make it!!!

and everyone can clearly see how much he LIKES?? LOVES?? you 

so yeah, maybe beomgyu’s gotten rid of his fuckboy ways bc of you.

kang taehyun:

↳ the valedictorian

name a smarter guy in your school than kang taehyun. Go

jk never gonna happen HE’S the smartest

literally breezes through his subjects like it’s nothing

idk how it works for you guys but in my school, we don’t have GPAs and stuff but anyway

he has like, an average grade of 99 (*•̀ᴗ•́*)و ̑̑ (and that’s a 4.0 GPA right????) 

PSPSPPS WHAT THE HECKITY HECK

and all the teachers love him ofc

he doesn’t have to sit in front to be THIS smart

he can sit at the back row and be all emo with choi yeonjun if he wanted to and he’d still ace a test

h o w ⊂•⊃_⊂•⊃

and not only that

he’s got a really good voice?? he’s in choir omg

no,,

he has the voice of an angel ★~(◡‿◡✿)

he hits high notes like how he breezes through his subjects

he’s the type of guy you bring home to meet your parents after one (1) date bc they’ll love him anyway

aND if he could get any more perfect,,,, he’s captain of your football team AND class president

AND I SAY WHAT

yUP

kang taehyun best boy _へ__(‾◡◝ )>

and you?

HAH

you guys are a match made in heaven

you’re his vice president, and while he’s in choir, you’re part of your school’s journalism club

plus, you’re smart enough to go against him but you like slacking off lmao

also

“you have all the glory in high school tae, i’ll kick your ass in college” PSSPPS

And if taehyun’s the captain of the football team, you’re captain of the volleyball team just bc

goals? I think so too (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧

but sigh,,, yunno

as smart as taehyun is, he’s a bit dumb when it comes to matters of the heart

THIS IS THE ONLY TIME WE CAN CALL KANG TAEHYUN DUMB!! BECAUSE!! HE!! CAN’T!! SEE!! HOW!! MUCH!! YOU!! LOVE!! HIM!! (;¬_¬)

you’ve always loved him, but you realized it only when you guys won the science quiz bee the year before ⊂( ◜◒◝ )⊃

basically, you’ve loved him for more than a year now,, sigh

and you’re just trying to find the right opportunity to confess

wHEN BOOM you suddenly remembered you’re on the school paper!!!! ⌒°(❛ᴗ❛)°⌒

v-day is right around the corner and since you’re editor in chief, you decided that it would be nice to have a lil fun in preparation for the event

so you got the whole school dropping anonymous love notes for their crush!!

and the club went around pasting them on lockers for the students so they don’t risk the chance of getting caught pspsps

totally smart idea huh !(•̀ᴗ•́)و ̑̑

all for the sake of confessing your feelings for your best friend.

hueningkai:

↳ the popular guy 

this boi

loved by everybody

and i mean everybody

even yeonjun and soobin who seem like they don’t give two flying fucks about anything

like literally everybody wants to be his friend !!!

there’s nothing people have to hate him for honestly

he’s in choir with taehyun 

he follows no crowd bC THE CROWD FOLLOWS HIM SKSKS

“hey, kai!”

“ey, wassup! I like your top!”

(▰˘◡˘▰)

he’s a cute babie too oomf

the girls that aren’t swooning over yeonjun or beomgyu or soobin are definitely swooning over him

(with taehyun they’ve lost all hope bc they know his best friend’s the only one that’s supposed!! to!! stand!! next!! to!! him!!)

kai’s also really sweet and nice to everybody,, and i mean everybody

he talks to everyone, even those emo kids who sit at the back row

and even they can’t resist smiling :) 

he’s that kind of popular guy that’s really preppy and fun to be around

he’s the type to help girls carry their books, or help guys plan on how to ask their crushes out

everyone knows a lot about him bc he doesn’t hesitate to share and talk about his life bc he literally has no trust issues whatsoever

not in a bad way, tho!! he’s just really honest n stuff

but

the one thing that everyone doesn’t know about him is that he can play piano sksk ♫꒰･◡･๑꒱

they know he can sing, but they didn’t know he played piano like???

he’s never brought it up before

but one time you find him playing the piano in the music room

you’re in the art club and you guys usually stayed behind after school to work on your paintings and stuff when you were feeling like it

and it just so happened that you were staying behind bc you entered into an art competition and you had only two weeks left to complete your painting

but lately you’ve been running out of inspiration and decided to clear your thoughts first before going back to your painting

what’s that beautiful melody??? 

【・_・?】

and it led you to him and you were surprised to see mr. popular in the room

(*ﾟﾛﾟ)

and you didn’t mean to, but the door was ajar and you push it open even further to hear the song better

DUMB MOVE

a chair was resting behind the door and it screeched on the floor spsps

Kai turned around and saw you

“oh! Hey y/n”

he stopped playing and you could see a faint blush on his cheeks ≧◡≦

“you play piano? i never knew” you decided to just step inside bc he wouldn’t mind right? rIGHT???

yeah,, if he didn't have such a big PHAT CRUSH ON YOU

“uh yeah, it helps me to clear my mind sometimes”

“i was taking a break too, i couldn’t finish my painting”

sKSKSK AND KAI FOUND THAT PERF OPPORTUNITY TO SPEND TIME W YOU BY OFFERING YOU HIS COMPANY TO GO AROUND

he’s always liked you, ever since you were lab partners for an entire year,,

you occasionally talked, but since he was on the more popular side and you had a smaller group of friends it was hard for him to find proper alone time with you

but life’s good to this baby and he finally got to spend his time with you.

[trashayfanfiction]

Ao3 Writer tag meme

Tagged by @puella-peanut.  Hi darling <3 Love seeing your comments and likes on things.

AO3 name: TrashAYfanfiction

Fandoms: Mainly Banana Fish, I have dabbled in Star Wars. I love Hydra Trash Party (Captain America) but have a lot of anon fills I have lost track of. I didn’t mean to get into writing Billy/Steve Stranger Things, but it found me. I read a bit of everything. If i have watched the show, i usually dabble in fandom.

Tropes: I’m an emo bitch. I like angst, drama, hurt/comfort. But I also have a hard-on for fluffy friends-to lovers. I yearn for being a young dumb teen having a good time.

Number of fics: 67 but i’ve been at this a while. I don’t feel like i write that often. Banana Fish being made into an anime might have been my main inspiration to write in my adult life, and I don’t know when that will happen again. (I’m particularly emo atm, so....)

Fic I spent the most time on: “Fighting Me” my Stranger Things Billy/Steve fic. It was never meant to be 30k, and i have never wrote that much before, so Im very happy with it. It’s also my first story with a beginning/middle/end conclusion. I didn’t outline it, but I was able to experience their relationship as it naturally evolved. It took me nearly 6 months! But also most of my BF fics take place in my own continuous universe, kinda the same universe as the story but with some of my own liberties. So  guess you could say they are all together one long fic.

Fic I spent the least time on: No idea. I do writing sprints, but now i edit before i upload. My early fics were written in oneshot without editing, and i kinda liked that because it was a raw stream of consciousness and emotions.

Longest fic: Fighting Me Billy/Steve

Shortest fic: One More Night (Ash/Eiji) written all the way back in 2016 (maybe earlier, might have been a re-upload from fanfiction net). 199 words, back then a 500 word fic was avenge for me, now I average about 2k

Most hits: Oh dear..... I’ve never looked at this stat before. Nympho (Anakin/Obiwan) (10115 hits). I’m assuming just because Star Wars is a bigger fandom and prequel/clone wars fans have their own energy? Also this is an older fic. I’m a little embarrassed by this, because it was originally a fill for a kink meme and has a bunch of nasty requests.

Most kudos: Spare Key Ash/Eiji (318) This is another one i’m kinda embarrassed of. I think it was originally called ‘F*ggot” or something like that. And i’ve had the most hate comments from it. I’ve been told i have a homophobia fetish over it, and well, i guess i do. I’m a bi guy and there is something relatable about the vulnerability.

Most comment threads: Fighting Me (45), but probably just because it went on for so long and that ST is a bigger fandom. Second runner up is Loving Ash (38) my Ash/Eiji alternate ending that speculates issues they’d have long term, so the comments were a lot of discussion of how Ash would cope with normal life. I’m still really proud of this fic, even at only 3k words I think it has good pacing and timing. It’s also one of the only fics i’ve ever wrote from Eiji’s pov.

Most bookmarks: Nympho (32)...goddamn i gotta check on this fic, why is this so popular, Fighting Me (30). I love when people leave comments when they bookmark, it makes me smile how they summarize it.

Total word count: No idea. Don’t make me add it up.

Favorite fic I wrote: Loving Ash is probably my fave. I feel it’s sensitive and vulnerable. I also really like Feelings of Loneliness, another alternate end where Ash escapes to the Caribbean with Blanca.

Fic you want to rewrite/expand on: I eventually want to make a part 2 to ‘Stupid Desire”, which is an ash/eiji fic where Ash has impromptu sex with eiji before leaving to seduce kippard. Ash reconciling with is own desires/bodily needs with eiji and trying to differentiate if having sex with Eiji because he wanted to is any different than voluntarily seducing kippard. I still don’t know what Ash’s conclusion is, I’ll need to write it to find out.

Share a bit of a WIP or a story idea you’re planning on:

Sadly I can’t, due to it being naughty. I am working on an Eiji/Yue fic where Yue has our cute boy captured. I was just really feeling femme domme. It’s another dead dove, might involve drugs and mindbreak

......idk who i know here to tag. I guess I’ll share to twitter

[chngbok]

I hit 2k a while ago now 2.2k im terrible and I never said thank you!! I didn’t want to open requests again as I’m terrible with following through on them so!! I settled with saying thank you to those who I’ve really come to appreciate + love ♥

@linos-teeth

someone who words just don't do justice (teeth fetishist might work).  you’ve been there longer than anyone and followed me through my many many different phases + blogs and that was all thanks for dai fucking up just a little bit (the one time I’ll thank a buggy game Bioware I owe you my life). you’re there for me whenever I wanna talk about shit, be it me complaining or me ranting (and more complaining) OR us taking a stupid one-liner from woojin and turning it into a 50 chapter long fic that’s 6 months old now!! we built a little home on discord with our all too fancy server for just the two of us, but dude your my best friend and I love you + all the weird shit that happens + all the fucking things we’ve made together. you’ve seen me at my worst and you were there when I lost others so,,, I know I say it a lot but!! I love you!! you’re my world and you meana lot to me!! you’re my best browse ~

@changbiinnbutspookier

Kirra, my idiot, my bitch, my rat, my Minecraft girlfriend. you’re an absolute dick but you mean well. You’ve made me laugh a whole lot and that means a lot because I’m normally alone a lot of the time,,, but calling with u almost all summer (literally) was amazing + we were talking most of the day and it gave me a lot to do and we fucking watched ooos which,,, im still getting over btw + that just,,,,,,,,,,, was a fuck fest tbh. You’re silly and fun but you’re also super good at? expressing ur words,,, n u know when to be serious and u care a whole lot about a bunch of things and u take 0 shit from people and all that's really good and cool and just? you’re a very like,,,, functional idiot who I love a lot ok. and I know i legit never say it bc 1) u don't give me a chance with all fo the kissy noises and 2) Im a shit friend and scared to say that stuff out loud but!! I do!! i cherish you a lot and you made me really happy this summer so!! thank you. 

@hauntedfelix

luna!! my angel!!!! you are a literal guardian angel please dont fight me on this for once.  It’s really? shocking to see how close we’ve gotten so quickly and I don't know,,, I know im a pretty open person but you’re one of the easiest people to talk to. you’ve let me talk about shit and it’s helped a lot and we have a lot of fun + ur really cute >:c *ok the rest of this is written after the thing oops* but!! to continue,,, u know how much u mean to me now lmao. you always keep me thinking ‘straight’ + know when to tell me that I’m being a lil stupid + u just have all these cute lil things u do!! (like ur folder of me being stupid,,,, cute shit) I’ve said a lot to you recently s o i dont wanna start sounding to repetative and I DO NOT wanna count how many times i said cute just now i d k. but you’re my shining star 🌙🧡☀️👭 you mean a lot to me and I’m glad we have eachother.

@glowsvt

Grace!! my sweet starlight, the nations wonderful, caring and ‘patient’, gaurdian angel. now I’m really shit with words compared to you,, it’s pretty obvious looking at this post,,, so I’m sorry for not being able to express how I feel very well!! but!! you!!! are so damn sweet and supportive. You have so much love to give and I’m just happy that I can be around to see and receive some of it. you have such a way with words and its really nice to see that you use them in such wonderful ways. You take every chance you get to make someone feel better and you’re always there for me when I’m pissed or in need of cheering up. You’re such a thoughtful person and I only wish you’d see, that you too, are worthy of all that you give out. You’re even willing to help me with my korean which is really really nice as I’m super slow to learn (oops) but!! u just want to do the best for everyone you love n thats super nice to see!! I love u a whole lot ok!! you’re amazing.

and also thank you to my other friends that I dont speak to as much as I’d like to!! @littlefallenrebel Sophie, it’s almost been a year since we’ve been friends and thats legit crazy. You were one of the first friends I made when starting to make gifs and all that so thank you for putting up with me this long. You’re really good with your art, even if u dont see that!! + I’ll never get over the changbin u did for my birthday. You’re funny + have a thing for small rappers + ur the kindest when it comes to letting me spill things so thank u!. @seungjin-chan Blake!! my writer friend,,,, I seriously admire your writing (apart from the unreadable chapter in cherry and peter + but I KNOW THATS STILL WELL WRITTEN FROM FRIENDS OK) u rly try so much with your writing and seeing u doubt urself is SILLY bc UR AN AMAZING WRITER and all ur aus are so creative and cute + all the little details are amazing.... also ur reaction memes are iconic and I always know what you’ll react to me stupidity with + u always wanna hear about my aus which like!! thank u ur my outlet + spoiler partner SKU GUYS @hoodiehan @00hj @kkvmi + @glowsvt , @hauntedfelix again!! u guys!! u make keeping up with skz + the great anons fun. you all do so much work and I’m really glad that Stay have u guys doing the most for them!! even with how busy u all are + everyone on sku that I dont talk to as much (you all do the best and it’s again, wonderful to see u all helping stay + trying to help with how chaotic skz are)

and now!! (it’s almost over I promise) a tiny follow forever.

NATRUALLY!! everyone already mentioned!! + (I’ll only do the skz blogs I follow + love a whole lot :c )

@realstraykids @devilhan @arqueritefrost @hanjisungz @mirror-mv @ifbin @skzleton @seungminsmile @bhubblemilk @abcdskz @seoschangbin @vampirewoojinnie @bamgchan @kittylixie @skzulls @chimneycloud @stray-kids @bellzy-loves-skz @hauntjin @prodskz

[aresenik]

dabihawks youtuber au

im just gonna put down all my ideas for my dabihawks youtuber au on here!

channels:

Hawks - 3rd most subscribed, gaming/makeup/reaction videos! Profile picture is just a selfie and his channel banner is probably a shitty meme.

Dabi - Honestly his personal channel he just does whatever the fuck he wants. Guitar vids? Check. Cooking vids? You got it. Arson? Graffiti? :)

Toga - SFX makeup, like blood and stuff! Also she has the ability to like replicate a real person with her makeup, she’s really good it’s almost uncanny.

Shigaraki - He is a gamer. He’s not AS popular as Hawks but he’s gained a lot of traction because he’s famous for raging. (Would he have one of those really annoying dubsteb intros? You know what I’m talking about?)

Twice - Definitely a comedy channel, Mr. Compress - Magician, Spinner - Knive tutorials, Magne - Funny skits

Kurogiri - He has a channel that shows tutorials on special effects and video editing but he also mostly helps edit everyone else’s stuff when they need it.

THE LEAGUE OF VILLAINS ALL HAVE THEIR OWN CHANNEL,,, they review videos, do illegal shit, and just have a fun time. it’s actually pretty popular,, not in the top ten but they have a pretty dedicated fanbase <3

All Might - #1 channel! He is a motivational pep speaker.

Endeavor - He’s....#2 (though uh not for long ;)) He does gun videos and at some point just,,, a ton of apology videos.

Midoriya - An analyst channel! He’s very good at figuring out how the workings of Youtube work, and he’s known for his extremely cultivated theories that are basically 100% proven with all the sources he sites. Midoriya is very smart ;3 I think because he likes All Might so much he’d also want to do some motivational stuff too

Todoroki - Crack theory channel. “Is Midoriya All Might’s illegitimate child?” is an actual video. Midoriya and Todoroki are friends and they collaborate a ton, though it’s mostly Midoriya disproving Todoroki’s theories >U<

Bakugou - he explodes EVERYTHING on his channel. bread, tables, he explodes explosions. 

Kirishima - He’s a channel that tests the durability of things and how long they can withstand certain things. he teams up with Bakugou a lot to see if his items can withstand his explosions.

Ochako is a space channel and Tsuyu is a frog channel!

Bakusquad DEFINITELY has their own channel where they just get into shenanigans!! Kaminari and Sero both share their own personal meme channel and Ashido does makeup and clothing hauls and all that <3

Best Jeanist does jeans.

Momo has a ton of tutorials on how to make things from scratch and Jirou does a lot of covers (and also originals)

The Iida’s all share a channel where they give positive mental health talks and they also just. Go fast. Tensei is a memelord while Tenya is,,, Tenya <3

SO BASICALLY THE WHOLE THING Starts off with excerpts from Hawks video kind of? He’s playing...Stardew Valley :3 And they are reviewing his channel because he’s literally the #3 most popular youtuber!! Shigaraki is watching his gameplay, and he’s played Stardew before, so he’s kind of just giving tips…? They’re also kind of making fun of Hawks because that is what they do. Kind of. The League is making offhand remarks about it, and finally Dabi’s like “he’s hot” and everyone just stops. And then they all laugh and Dabi just shrugs and is like “i said what i said.”

We cut back to Hawks thinking of video ideas when he starts getting a lot of notifications on Twitter. His followers are tagging him saying the LoV made a video on him, so Hawks gets the idea to react to their video! He watches their videos actually... and knows that they do illegal activities… but he doesn’t really care in this AU. They aren’t really hurting anyone! 

So Hawks does the video, and he gets to the part where Dabi calls him hot and he’s caught off guard. So how does he react? He looks straight into the camera and is like “hmu on twitter ;)” except in human speak.

Memes are (obviously) made showing Hawks reaction and Dabi catches hold of it and is like “okay” and literally texts him on Twitter! So they text for quite a while...some of it snark, others genuine conversation, and borderline flirty (? yeah)

So!!!! They eventually agree to do a collab…:) except they don’t know what kind of collab. Dabi suggests Hawks appear in one of the LoV’s videos and Hawks agrees like the gamer he is.

So they do that collab (stupid stunts !! ofc) and Hawks finds himself having a lot more fun than usual. And yeah then the rest is just shenanigans and eventually… getting together ;)

Obviously there will be a lot of conflict because...duh. I don’t really have a lot of arcs planned out but I have one (1)!!!

Occasionally there will be snippets of the other channels as well!!! Kind of as intermissions.

I really am looking forward to writing this,,, it’s gonna be social media/actual fic and i really hope i can make it and finish it.

[dxrkblaze]

Dark’s 2018 New Year Resolutions

I rarely do resolutions, but this year was a little different for me. I’m just gonna put this under a read more bc it’s been a very rough 2017. I’ve learned a lot about myself, and I want to try my best to be a better person next year. So, this’ll probably be pretty long, personal, and therapeutic.

(if I tagged u in this, u can just scroll to the bottom if u want lmao I prob just put a lil message down there)

I’m gonna stop dragging people down with me when I feel sorry for myself. I may still vent, but I’m not gonna feel sorry for myself anymore.

I’m gonna stop feeling negative about my creative work (whether it’s art or writing) without warrant. And news flash, Dark, a lack of popularity or a negative review is not a warrant.

In addition to this, if I do feel negative because of constructive criticism, I’ll do my best to fix whatever the issue was and not dwell on it. If I fix it, it’s fixed, it’s done, and the work is better for it in the end. The work was never “terrible” to begin with, no matter what I tell myself. It’s simply improved afterwards, and I can feel positive about it then.

I’m gonna stop treating fandom popularity as my endgame. If I ever actually get popular, that’s great, and I’ll be happy to share my work with a larger audience. But that will no longer be my primary goal in sharing my work.

Also, I’m gonna stop comparing myself to/being jealous of those who ARE popular in this fandom.

MOST IMPORTANTLY, I’M GONNA STOP COMPARING MY WORK TO THAT GOD-FORSAKEN MEGA-POPULAR SILVAZE HIGH SCHOOL FIC. MOVE ON, DARK, IT'S BEEN FIVE YEARS.

I will take what my friends tell me about my work as the truth. If they say they liked it or thought it was good, it’s because they liked it and thought it was good, period.

Consequently, I’m gonna stop trying to find ~hidden motives~ in what my friends tell me, especially regarding what they say about my art. Again, if they say they liked it, it’s because they liked it, dummy. 

I’m gonna stop picking apart every little detail of what others say, because it only makes me feel like shit and question things.

Prime example of this in 2017: I remember Ghostie tagging me in that one “new artist memes” post (old memes: ‘my art is terrible’ vs. new: ‘my art is terrible but that’s ok bc im learning/having fun/etc). Even tho she CLEARLY said smth like “I’m not saying ur art is bad this just reminds me of u”, I couldn’t stop thinking “she thinks my art is terrible and this is the way she’s telling me”/“everyone else prob feels the same way and just doesn’t wanna hurt my feelings”, and that sent me into another negative episode. That’s fucking stupid, Dark. Don’t do that.

((ghostie if ur reading this plz don’t feel bad abt that lmfao ily and I was being a dumb))

Moreover, I’m gonna stop dwelling on stuff like that. Whether it’s something someone says, a negative review, constructive criticism, anything. I’m gonna move on.

If I get a compliment on my work, I will not deny it.

I’m not gonna drag myself after every negative thought that pops in my head. It’s okay to feel negative sometimes. But, from now on, I’ll remember the positives too.

I’m gonna stop viewing myself as inferior to everyone who creates “good” art, whether they’re a stranger or my friend.

I’m gonna stop viewing writing as an inferior talent to art. 

Thus, I’m gonna start striving to be better at art because I want to and it makes me happy to draw, instead of getting better to “better myself as a creative person”/“be a better/more likable friend”. That’s toxic, Dark.

I’m gonna stop believing that I can’t be talented at both writing and art.

I’m gonna remember that becoming a good artist is a process, just like becoming a good writer was.

I’m gonna stop telling myself that my art is unbearably bad. It goes against everything anyone has ever said about my art. My art is good. My art is good in its own way, just the way it is, and I can only improve from here. Just like your friends have told you, Dark.

I’m gonna remember the old me more. Like, 12/13/14 year old me. Because that person serves as proof that just because someone doesn’t review/favorite a fic, doesn’t mean it didn’t leave a lasting impression on them, or they felt it was a waste of time to read. I never had a fanfic/deviantart/anything account for a while, so I never reviewed/favorited my most favorite fics of all time that I still think about to this day. The world’s a big place, and my work has likely inspired more people than I think.

I’m gonna stop beating myself up over any of this shit, and live my life the way I did before 2017 happened.

And, finally…

If I start breaking any of these resolutions next year, I won’t just run crying to someone about it. I’ll reblog this post, and try my best to fix my mentality.

Thank you all to everyone who helped me through some really, really rough times this year. Especially @maliwarm, @lordoftheghostking28, @aurora-boring-alis, @chariat, and @weezernaut. I’m sorry for the way I’ve acted this year. You guys always picked me back up and made me feel better. You let me vent to you whenever I was feeling shitty, no matter what it was about, and you did your best to help me out. I was an absolute shithead at times this year, but you still listened and made me feel so much better in the end. Thank you for just… caring. You all have made me stronger for next year, each in your own way. Love you guys.

[writersblockpeter]

giant teddy bears (hc) | p.p.

summary: first dates are awkward, peter sucks at dance dance revolution, and the night ends with a giant teddy bear and something sweet.

warnings: IM SORRY I THINK THIS ONE IS A BIT LESS CHAOTIC THAN THE OTHERS IM SORRY I KNOW THAT'S LIKE MY BRAND LOL BUT I JUST AAAAAAAAAAA

+ + +

- are you ready?

- i'm listening...

- no that was weak come on guys!

- i said ARE YOU READY?!

...

- i think we can do better than that

- i said ARE YOU READY?!!!!!

- YEAHYEAH!!!!!!

- i'm so sorry i just watched a gif of sebastian stan doing that thing where he gets super hype and then just starts laughing but i really harvested that hype energy

- pro tip: go back and read that first bit in seb's voice you Will Not Regret It

- after writing one normal imagine, i am back to writing another hc

- the next one will be normal though LOL

- guess what

- chicken butt

- jk IT'S TIME FOR THE ARCADE WITH Y/N AND PETER!!!!!

- HELLS YEAH

- y'all r never gonna guess what i'm doing

- i am listening to one direction WOW

- heart attack is an underrated song 😔

- you guys said the emojis in italics made you lose ur mind so

- they're staying

- fuck it slant 😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀

- fun fact i got pretty far into writing this and then was like "Hmm... no yeah This Ain't It" and so we're back and we're switching up the prompt a little bit

- so YAY

- so peter's balls finally dropped or something idk and he got his bitch ass together and asked you out!!!!!!!

-  yay peter!!

- he was super nervy while doing it y'all were just walking home from school as per usual and this is how it went down

- y'all were passing the local arcade

"y/n- did you, uh, did you wanna go to the arcade tonight?"

"ooh yes, that sounds like so much fun"

"awesome... it's a date"

- and even though peter muttered that last part

- YOU HEARD IT

- who has super hearing NOW bitch

"a date?"

- you look over at peter and quirk a brow

- but on the inside ur like AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

- YEAHYEAHNASDBFKSDNGLSFNKDC

- penis man gets flustered as FUCK

"oH-! well uhhhhhhh only if you, uhhh only if you want it to be"

"looks like i'll be dressing slightly better than normal"

- at this point y'all are at ur apartment building so you quickly peck him on his cheek (we're confident today ladies and gays!) and run up the steps, waving as you shut the door

- peter's in Fucking Shock.

- eyes wide, cheeks Red As Hell, standing there like Nobody Move! 0_0

- it takes some weirdo person idk to bump into him as he walks by to get him out of his trance

- (he jumps and turns to look at them, throwing his arms in the air like ?? before just sighing)

- (then he remembers Holy Shit I HAVE A DATE WITH Y/N AAAAAAAAAAAA and sort of like Skips away like how he does in far from home after the kiss you get the deal)

- u make sure to put on ur Cutest Fit

some inspo <3

- IM KIDDING

- jk the Ball Pit Dress Blanket Thing is a look and a half 😼

- in case u were wondering (no one is) this is what i would wear:

- when reading fics i Always have to have what im wearing in mind otherwise i am very bothered idk why

- anyways thank u pinterest for the style inspo

- shameless self promo my pinterest is in my bio and we can send each other memes on there <3

- ofc u can choose ur own outfit 😌😌😌😌😌😌😌😌😌

- Not Me putting on jeans and feeling Fancy 😂🤏👋

- N E Ways! u put on ur dope fit and get all nice smelling n shit

- hair all pwetty

- cue (queue? i hate this word) that scene in homecoming of peter getting ready for the dance

- except he doesn't wear a suit (DEFINITELY WONDERS IF HE SHOULD THOUGH) and instead opts for this fit:

- Mhmm..... yea.... Yup.

- look at the SHOES

- anyways i think peter would wear that One Fit from the beginning of hoco with the blue sweater over the button up or maybe something a bit nicer idk

- the look i put is superior 😔

- he's finally ready and smells gr8 and hair is done just how he knows u like it

- may is fucking spitballing tips like a madwoman

"give her all your attention, peter"

"let her win most of the games, but don't make it look like you're letting her win"

"oh and god peter BUY HER A GIANT TEDDY BEAR"

- peter's like Yup Yup Got It May on the outside but on the inside he's fucking taking notes like the nerd he is

- bae

- just as you finish ur final touches ur phone buzzes

whale penis On my way :)

- fyi a whale's penis is called a dork 😌 the more u know 😀😀😀😀

- you quickly text him back and before you know it this Puta is in front of ur door and his heart is going ZOOOOOOOOOM

- but since the two of you are so close and in sync he can usually hone in on your heartbeat even from a far ish distance so he focuses and finds your heartbeat easily

- ur heart is racing too and it makes him feel better

- he finally gets the balls to knock on ur door and Does Just That

- you open it SO FAST (you were secretly standing just outside the door waiting for peter but he doesn't have to know that)

"hi, peter"

- the look on peter's face

- he in Awe

- u look so pretty!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAa

- this is a lovepage for that little 'a' at the end of that scream. idk why it makes me smile. it's like the underdog

- i need to fucking Restart my Brain jesus christ

- i get attached to little things so easily MOVING ON

- Beter finally regains himself

- shit excuse me

- 🅱eter finally regains himself

- there we go

"you look.... wow"

- ur face gets SO HOT

"thought i'd go for something other than leggings and oversized t-shirts"

- aka my whole wardrobe

- Very Basic White Girl of me

- (assuming the Fit ur wearing is the picture i put) (if not you can just ignore this little bit) ur like cleavage or whatever is out and it is Definitely Not What Peter's Used To Seeing!

- the Collarbones

- Sexy

- u catch peter's eyes linger on ur chest for a second and u 0_0 for a second

- but then it's like YAY FOR ATTRACTIVE FEATURES

- THANKS PUBERTY????????????

"you look wow as well"

"oH well i dress like this pretty normally i think it's really not that big of a change i probably should've dressed better-"

"you always look good, peter"

- Faking Confidence! hoping peter can't hear ur heart banging against ur sternum!

- but he can... Little Shit

- VERY RED FACES FOR THE TWO OF YOU

- VERY FLUSTERED

- peter is such a gentleman

- waits for you to lock ur door before holding out a hand nervously

- you take it ofc and he intertwines ur fingers and sort of Rubs His Thumb AGainst Ur Skin???? when i put it like that it sounds weird

- i appreciate writing headcanons because i don't have to think things out so that they sound pretty i can just Braindump and y'all r like Yea!! 😀❤

- a very nice feeling <3

- the two of you walk down the sidewalk together

- eventually the awkwardness of Woah We're On A Date!? is gone

- peter starts swinging your hands and you can't stop smiling

- a few people look at the two teenagers just giddily and dramatically swinging their arms together and laughing as they walk down the street

- but those people find it very cute

- y'all talk about the weirdest shit too

- peter rambles about his theory of there being a multiverse

"i mean, what if there really is a multiverse? like, i refuse to believe that we're the only living beings in this whole universe, much less believe that this is the only universe. and, when you think about it, it's like a whole new set of doors of knowledge are suddenly there for us to explore, i mean it just completely changes how we understand the initial singularity. we're talking about an internal inflation system and then how would that even work with all the quantum-? it's insane-!"

- he looks over at you and you're just smiling

"sorry"

"don't apologize for being a genius, peter"

- the ffh reference 😼

- his insides are like lkdsfhskjdfbg at that

- you also have ur nerd moment (i'm making this about reading because.... I Think We Can All Agree)

"what i don't get is all the imbeciles at school who think reading is stupid. they're all like, 'i haven't read a book in like two years! ha ha!' and i'm like 'oh! no wonder you're so stupid!' because not only do they think it's quirky for whatever reason to not read, but reading genuinely makes you smarter and they're all missing out on it! moreover, the feeling of getting sucked into a book and going on the story with the characters and feeling everything they're feeling and when you finish the book it's like holy shit i can't even process this and- oh i'm rambling"

- peter's just looking at you in awe

"this is why i like you"

- NOBODY MOVE

- you Cannot Breathe for a second and the two of you stop walking (still holding hands doe)

"you..?"

"i did ask you on a date, didn't i?"

- you scoff

"you muttered that it was a date and the only reason that fact was established was because i heard it and acted on it"

- peter sighs exasperatedly, still grinning like the Fool He Is as he lets go of your hand to swing his arms dramatically

"well, sorry i'm not super smooth and suave all the time!"

"yeah, cause you're never smooth and suave"

- now he :o

"hey-!"

"that's why i like you, too, parker"

- SMILE GETS EVEN BIGGER

- BIG CHEESY MOMENT

- the two of you clasp hands again and you hug his arm as you continue walking

- i wanna hug a boy's arm

- you get to the arcade and he opens the door for you

"m'lady"

- he's such a dork i hate (love) him

- now here u guys....

- guess who's like genuinely never been to an arcade...

..........

- 🙋‍♀️

- it me!

- yes yes we know i have no life

- SO BASICALLY

- i'm just gonna like fucking Spit-Ball the adventures of y/n and peter at the arcade

- if ur confused rn i am too

- OKAY

- SO U WALK IN

- imma walk up to him and imma push him and imma say I HAVE AIDS no wait thats so strong hold back, savor it, BUILD to that

- i know i didn't get all the words right whatever

- at first it's like Sensory Overload! but then 🅱eter drags you over to the front desk and y'all get ur tickets

- and then it's STRAIGHT TO THE PACMAN BOOTH

- he looks so FUCKIGN CUTE cause his tongue is like sticking out as he focuses

- y'all try the claw machine SO MANY TIMES

- not you managing to actually make it work and getting a spider-man toy

- nOT YOU GIVING IT TO PETER AND HIS CHEEKS ARE JUST 🔴

- the slant on that emoji i'm fucking losing my mind

- you absolutely crush him at the basketball game thing

- and y'all play that thing that has the weird seats or whatever and you're racing

- he lets you win

- y'all KILL IT at dance dance revolution

- peter trips over his feet and you laugh So Loud the people around you are like o_0

- uhhhhh what the fuck else is at an arcade

- i just KNOW i'm gonna forget something and y'all will be like BUT WHAT ABOUT THE _____

- my apologies in advance

- at the end of the night y'all get pizza from the little restaurant they have (idk if that's an actual thing arcades do but fuck it now they do)

- and peter wins you a giant bear and you smile SO BIG!

- peter can't stop smiling at u and u both r so so happy

- guys i need to get a graphic design is my passion in here.....

- getting a bit worried cause idk where to put one 0_0

- not sure where to go with this now... may just read some fics to get inspiration and completely forget to come back to this <3

- i promise i won't i wanna get this up tonight AAAAAAAAAAAA

- okay i will be back after i get inspo

- update it's been an hour and i got distracted have yet to find inspo i'll be back

- update part 2 i went downstairs to get a snack to Fuel My Brain and ant-man and the wasp was on so... watched that

- FUCK INSPO I CAN DO THIS MYSELF

- but i have the brain of a strapless croc.... whatever

-OKAY

- SO YOU GOT YOUR BEAR RIGHT

- YAY

- then you can peter are like "we should probably go" cause it's getting late and it's new york and yes peter's spider-man but y'all are on a date! and we don't want to get attacked!

- huzzah!

- so you leave

- holding hands

- (screaming inside)

- ur other hand is just holding the large ass bear to your chest and peter cannot stop SMILING

- the chaos level has gone down i'm sorry i'm tired

- here's some normalcy!

- you start walking home and see delmar's and peter's like "MR DELMAR WILL GIVE US FREE SOFT SERVES :D" so. you go to delmar's

- you walk in still holding hands and the Second mr delmar sees you he (¬‿¬)

"what brings you two kiddos in so late?"

- peter's BLUSHING

"we, uh, we went on a date SO YOU HAVE SOFT SERVES RIGHT?"

- he's so fucking flustered and it's adorable

-  mr delmar just laughs

"on the house just for the lovers"

- now who's blushing

- your name

:o

- "your name" i was feeling spicy huh

- I HAVE TO PACK FOR MY TRIP TOMORROW

- HAHA OOPS

- mr delmar hands you the ice creams and y'all thank you

- he winks you sly bastard

- the two of you walk out and sit on the bench outside to eat your ice cream

- hands are feeling lonely cause you needed to hold your ice cream 😔

- at first y'all are just silent and then you look over at him just happily licking his ice cream

- he's got chocolate ice cream next to his mouth and you laugh

- he turns to you

"what?"

"messy eater"

- you mumble as you raise a hand and wipe it off with your thumb

- you wipe your thumb on your napkin and look back up at peter and suddenly the air has changed cause he's just staring at you or your lips really and oh wow now the air has left your lungs and your heart is racing

"can i kiss you?"

...

- peter tastes like chocolate.

HERE'S A MEME TO MAKE UP FOR THE LACK OF GRAPHIC DESIGN IS MY PASSION

- what if we kissed on the jouch? 😳

- hi lizthearies shoutout to our pinterest convos

- alright story = over

+ + +

THIS TOOK ME SO LONG TO WRITE AND FOR WHAT

ily all, treat yourself and others with kindness (dream with harry had me crying within the first five minutes i love him so much), and WEAR A MASK (unless you're in a safe place aka not the US lol)

AND DONT FORGET TO CONTINUE SIGNING PETITIONS AND SPEAKING OUT!! BLM IS NOT A TREND!

<3

[baesketballers]

REPLIES/UPDATE

replies

(Okay now I know that not a lot of people here are actually into the reverse ask meme thing as much as people from other blogs ;;)

@nonochuu​ said: 3. One More Chance - SUJU // 5. Tomorrow is Monday but I still need a time for me-time... I don't want to go to work! lmao ;p // 8. I like your writing style. I think you're talented and a lovely person. It would be nice to have a friend like you :) // 13. Black, blue, grey, red ;p

Thank you for complimenting my writing style! Though I myself am still not aware of what my own style is, it’s always nice to hear that people enjoy it. Also your favorite colors are the colors I have the most in my closet! Haha

@kurokawahitaki​ said: 9! I know i'm bragging but my bday and Hitaki's is less than 10days and i prepared few things to celebrate it myself, including writing and commissioning ❤️❤️❤️ i ordered a few drawings of her and gotta say im excited with the result. And since it's been a while since the last i write for myself, so i made bday fic for her as well. Not my best, but i love it. Can't wait for the day so i can spam my socmeds with her new drawings hahahahaha

Ey, I’m not sure when exactly you sent this ask in but Imma say happy birthday anyway! Hope you had/will have a nice birthday this year! Also good for you, commissioning other artists is a very win-win kind of thing, it’s nice of you to support their work! Also I’m sure your writing is great :D

update

I don’t think anybody wants to hear this but I’m really stumped. Amazing how I haven’t started scratching myself, though. I have been feeling so goddamn stupid these past few days I just want to disappear. First I missed a flight and I had to buy another ticket, which costed almost triple the price of the original. Then I forgot something on the train, something that I needed to give someone back home. Fuck, man. I just don’t know what is in me. I always feel like I am alert almost all the time, does this mean I am not actually paying attention, and that my brain is tricking me into thinking that I am? I tried recounting my steps but I just find myself doubting my own memory more and more, until I feel like I don’t actually remember anything. It is fucking scary. I don’t trust myself anymore. Maybe I should start tattooing myself like that guy in Memento. Fuck, I’m just so stressed out.

I needed to let this out somewhere.

[tueeeeeee]

i saw a writing meme abt a ship in various prompts and immediately applied it to shenzed lol some of the scenarios are in the past and entertain a lot of my personal headcanons. like this is basically just a masterpost of my headcanons

wordcount: 4k, not explicit but pretty nsfw

topics: fake dating, bodyswap, sexpollen, secret kinks, first kiss, au, dark fic, and a sick ass crossover with mkx

cw age gap, noncon, yandere zed

Fake dating: as students, shen would try so hard to prioritize the mission, which is good because zed has it running secondary to making sure their relationship is believable as possible. of course that involves throwing himself all over shen and demanding shen make ridiculous sounds in private because they're listening in, shen, give them a show, make it convincing, and shen even knows zed is just taking advantage of the situation but he's too committed to the job to turn him down in public and risk the facade, so he just rolls along with it and smiles lovingly at zed and that's actually worse because zed starts getting the mad dokis

if it's after the fall and they have to work together again, it'd probably be while they're hunting jhin and they actually have to fake that they're NOT dating. they're in disguises but shen the bara giant is pretty hard to not notice, so he's just sitting there trying to be all you know. ah it's just me, a farmer, completely single and alone, my boyfriend is totally not hiding in the shadows ready to fuck u up. or zed gets caught out alone and shen comes to the rescue a la mimi's beautiful amazing comic and "my boyfriend's back and ur gonna get in trouble" is just blasting in the bg

Bodyswap: if this is during their student days, they'd actually probably have a lot of fun with it. zed likes being able to look at himself from different angles and shen secretly likes it too until zed goes in front of a mirror and starts making expressions just to see what shen's face looks like when he's really surprised! or what he looks like when he's picking his nose, or sticking out his tongue, and shen is just desperately covering zed's face and begging him to stop making those faces while he’s in shen’s body and please don't do that in front of other people

zed doesn't do it front of other people because he wants to be the only one who knows what it looks like, of course, and when he's alone, he tries on other expressions. he wants to see what shen looks like when he's happy, and smiling, and laughing, and it feels forced in front of the mirror but seeing it makes his heart flutter anyways. wanting to see what shen looks like when he's happy quickly turns into wanting to see what shen looks like when he's horny and then zed just straight up masturbates in front of the mirror. thanks zed.

anyway shen plays with himself too but he tries not to at first, he's better than that, this is so wrong and zed is going to kill him – until he remembers zed would definitely and has probably already taken advantage of this and then he just touches himself everywhere to see if this area is something he likes or if it's just a particularly sensitive area on zed's body (which is knowledge he's gleaning just for the sake of knowledge, of course, n-not like he's planning on utilizing it or anything...)

while they were students shen almost exclusively topped since "the son of the headmaster shouldn't be on his knees" so later when zed convinces shen into playing around it's an absolute delight for zed to get to be the pitcher for once, even if he's basically fucking his own body. shen agrees just because he doesn't want to have to look at himself, and besides zed's body is already used to it so shen willingly bottoms and being the repressed little sub he is he just fucking loses it and breathlessly asks zed afterwards with tears in his eyes, "are you always that sensitive?" and zed is like ??? not enough to fuckin cry about it and thats how shen discovers he likes taking it up the bum

if it's after the fall of the kinkou they'd probably just try to experiment with each other's abilities, then realize that even though they have access to them they can't really harness the power the same way. like zed's clones are sentient, and when shen finally manages to make one it just stares back at him for a while and then starts laughing uncontrollably, "i thought something was odd. now how did this happen?" and shen is unamused and more than a little flustered at being made to feel incompetent when he can't control the shadow and it just keeps laughing at him in zed's voice. 

meanwhile zed is excited to finally be able to see the spirits the way shen does, and he tries to walk the spirit realm and teleport and kind of just ends up concentrating himself into an aneurysm because he can't fucking figure it out and does the Old Man Yells At Cloud thing when he tries to talk to the spirits to get them to help him understand. they don't give a fuck about shen half the time so unsurprisingly, they don't pay any attention to zed either. also, zed would still masturbate in front of a mirror, except he does it furiously in this case

god im sorry that was so long but i just. i love the bodyswap trope so much o(-<

Sexpollen/fuck or die/aliens made them do it: as students, pretty much everything between them has to be a competition so it's a battle of wills to not jump each other and zed tries to goad shen on by playing up but being that close to each other just makes it worse. zed devolves into pretty much just clinging onto shen and begging him to please give in

shen doesn't want any of it, not when they're being made to feel that way, but zed insists that it isn't making him feel anything, not anything different from usual anyway. so shen brings him off with sympathetic intentions at first, and gently pushes zed's hands away whenever he tries to reciprocate, but watching zed come undone affects him more than he expected it to. zed said it isn't any different from usual but it is, zed isn't normally this pliant and desperate, and he doesn't usually call shen's name so sweetly and sometimes zed will outright make shen fight to get zed beneath him, but now, zed yields to him so easily and that should be evidence of how wrong this is but shen is so utterly captivated with this eager zed that he gives in and gives him the good dickin. he's super disappointed with himself later while zed is just smiling dopily, completely satisfied

fuck or die after the fallout would be rough hate-filled sex, zed pushing shen's face into the dirt and forcing him because it's easier that way. shen bitterly spits out that he'd rather die than touch zed, and zed only laughs because they both know that's a lie. if it were anyone else shen would 100% approach this with his usual pragmatism but it's zed and he hates being made to lose control like this, and of course zed won't just get it over with. he takes his pleasure and then leaves shen tied down and makes sure to work shen slowly and coax him with disgusting gentleness into climax, making it good for him and shen hates every second. he doesn't do anything like try to make shen beg because that shit would go nowhere fast, and afterwards zed is just completely smug with himself and shen hates him more than ever

Secret kinks: zed loves body odor which is really fucking unfortunate because shen reeks of it after the hours he spends training, and he probably knows it bc why else would he have his dirty clothes so conveniently left out like that for zed to furiously wank into while grumbling stupid sexy stinky shen

he has a bored and ignored kink too, but he's too fucking needy for it to ever take place out of his control so he has to specifically negotiate with shen to not pay attention to him during a scene, like zed showing off his bod or blowing shen while shen's just trying to read as long as they're 100% clear that shen has to make up for it later

he probably tries to convince shen to pee himself at least once but gets kinkshamed to death and never tries again. he also loves shen's hands/wrists and being praised. like ok, shen likes being praised too right? he'll glow and be intensely pleased and would fit that indulgent kind of "good boy!! you like pleasing me don't you" praise kink but zed's is like a fucking id-tagged collar in which only shen can hold the leash. shen gives him a passing glance and a murmured, "well done" while zed's just like sweeping and zed will somehow always be sweeping somewhere shen can see for the next five days, with a boner. you know what i mean??

anyway shen is the most repressed fucker out there so he THINKS he's vanilla but shen's definition of vanilla is very. i mean. he regularly undergoes resistance training and mindfuckery so you could tie him up and CBT him and he'd still just be like ah good ol vanilla sex. a lot of the kinks he has he isn't really even aware of having. shen doesn't know what he likes a lot of the time, in and out of bed. he spent his entire life being dictated, and it isn't until after zed gets rid of all the people who did that to him that he's forced to consider more deeply about himself

and of course he immediately finds that he likes being dominated and having someone else take control, even if they completely fuck him up in the process. he likes being collared and humiliated but he doesn't like his position as the eye of twilight being brought into it so shit like "look how far the eye has fallen" isn't gonna fly.

even so he's a bit of an exhibitionist. it's probably a carry-over from his student days when being caught was a definite possibility in a household full of ninja, so he likes the rush of doing it outside, especially since it also has the benefits of being rougher and quicker and there being no time for nonsense or softness

the concept of aftercare is a foreign one. the first time zed tries to administer it shen is repulsed and probably tries to escape but he can't get away from zeds sweet sweet embrace. he doesn't ever get used to it, not from zed the two-faced snake, and for good reason honestly. zed's brand of tenderness is kind of saccharine and condescending, and all too often he whispers secrets as if shen cares at all that zed used to love him, or that zed is glad he's here now, or that zed doesn't want to hurt him. really, he doesn't care. at all. not a bit.

also he tries to keep it secret that he loves getting dicked by zed's clones but it's pretty obvious. zed hates it because he gets jealous of himself but he absolutely loves all of shen's other kinks since he thinks shen would never trust someone other than zed to do those things to him

Their first kiss: shen was definitely the one who had to initiate it!! zed would have been fine with just pining after shen his entire life (not really), because he sure as hell wasn't going to give shen another point in his favor by letting him know that zed had F-FEELINGS FOR HIM... regardless it's still obvious as fuck to everybody, including shen, who kind of takes it in stride because let's be real shen was probably the target of numerous an unrequited crush in his life.

shen thinks he's doing a good job handling zeds emotions, letting him down gently without making it obvious he knows zed likes him, and it comes so naturally to him because hes so used to doing it that he doesn't even stop to think that maybe he actually kind of looks forward to zed's not-so-subtle attempts to spend more time together?? maybe he actually kind of wants to hold his hand?? maybe he's actually a raging homosexual?????

so the kiss would happen after a really tough mission that they just barely scraped through together, and shen's just so happy that they're both alive and safe that he gives zed a big ol smooch. obviously zed's not-so-subtle attempts become outright overt now that he knows it's mutual (even if shen keeps embarrassedly trying to convince him it's not)

likewise, their first kiss after they start working together to hunt jhin would also be shen calling it. zed's older now and not as angry and petulant. their history and ties are so intensely and irrevocably woven together that he just kind of dully accepts that a little part of him will always love shen, right next to the part that will always resent him. because of that he doesn't want to ruin this tentative (and probably temporary) truce they've got going on, even though he's unexpectedly thrilled to have shen by his side again and he's dying to ask whether stick-up-his-ass prudish shen has bedded anyone else in the past five years

shen's kind of not really in the same boat bc the power dynamic is mostly in his favor and it's zed who has to watch his footing, but shen has never had an equal like zed before or since. he can see that zed's changed, but he's also remained the same in the ways that matter and not all of them matter in a good way. for one, he still doesn't see reason in balance, and shen argues that zed himself is contributing to the power balance by foiling shen and zed absolutely hates that because he doesn't want to sustain a war between their clans just for the sake of shen's notion of equilibrium.

shen feels duty-bound and obligated to his clan to you know, not consort with the enemy, but he's also aware of the intrinsic connection he has with zed and how they're naturally drawn together. and it could be something as tiny as a bad dream or getting caught in the rain or meeting eyes when they've both just awoken, and shen acknowledges the inevitability of it and just kisses him

anyways when!! will riot give me my jhin lore follow-up!!

A crossover of my choice: the events of ninja gaiden could fit seamlessly right into ionia but there's pretty much no way im picking it over a mortal kombat crossover.... yall know how much my ass loves mkx

anyway quan chi has manipulated pretty much every one and thing in existence so it's not at all surprising that he was the one who brought into existence the scroll of shadows that corrupts zed and instills in him a thirst for power so great it drives him to destroy the kinkou. zed's death animation where he opens a portal? actually just to get back to netherrealm. quan chi sees him and just sighs again, really? and restores him and sends him back up

also ok. i know thematically shen has a lot in common with subzero but think of raiden and shen..... raiden was probably bosom buddies with master kusho, they regularly convened to discuss the state of earthrealm and shen got to inherit that friendship and trust!! raiden guides him and tells him how to purify zed, which leads him into scorpion and subzeros path since at this point they're revenants too. afterwards shen holds the recovery club for "I Was Under Quan Chi's Control" but only hanzo and kuai liang are invited

after all zed still has his entire fucking order of shadows which were forged under quan chi's ideals, and just like how hanzo still resents the massacre of his clan zed still resents the kinkou--that wasn't something that was instilled into him through quan chi's control. so basically everyone hates zed still. bye zed

i had fatalities for shen and zed written out too but....... i dont want to talk abt it here since it's obviously gorey and honestly embarrassing to talk about lmao!!! NEXT

An AU of my choice: i love my bloodborne AU so much but it's too detailed and involves more than just sz so i'll settle for another one about time shenanigans

shen tries to bypass zed's whole crawling into a shadow portal and escaping death thing by sealing him away in a time loop, but when the dust settles something's obviously gone wrong. there's a body laying there and shen picks him up and carries him inside and no one can really believe it, but the old kinkou veterans were raised next to that face and they know what zed looked like in his youth.

he's ten years younger, before the order of shadows and before the golden demon, and he hasn't just been aged down but swapped places entirely because he knows fuck all about what's going on. akali wants to kill him before he can fuck everything up but agrees that'd mess with too much other shit, kennen is so so sad and tries the hardest to make zed feel at home even though he and zed were never particularly close, and shen keeps his distance as best he can manage. he doesn't want to look at this zed when all it makes him think about is how things should have been

young zed feels confused and alone as fuck in this future timeline. so many members of the kinkou are foreign to him and the familiar ones are made of bitter implications and no one tells him outright why he's being ostracized, shen is never at the temple and when he is he's holed away. zed has to practically ambush him just to find out shen's already gone to pay zilean a visit to work out what's gone wrong, and all zilean told him was that he needed to find where the feedback came from that switched the zeds

eventually someone tries to assassinate zed as a preventative measure and shen realizes it's not safe for him at the kinkou monastery, so he takes zed with him on his journey to find the zero point and angst happens as they measure each other up to the versions of themselves they're familiar with--present shen is discomfited by how naive past zed is, past zed can't believe how much bigger the stick up shen's ass got, but after he learns what his future self did he can't imagine ever hating shen enough to do that to him. queue lots of bonding, slow burn, shen waffling and acting under a LOT of pretenses because he doesnt want to take advantage of this younger zed, who sees him as a mentor

meanwhile present zed wakes up in his old room and thinks he's trapped in a memory, and confirms it the only way he knows how. he sneaks into shen's room and is completely delighted upon finding a young shen who's much too interactive to be just a memory, and quickly works out what's​ happened. the thought of killing shen doesn't even cross his mind, not when shen barely presents a challenge like this. rather, he finds himself appreciating the change in their dynamics now that the power balance is tipped in zed's favor.

he goes on his own trip to find zilean and tells shen to stay here and give master kusho an excuse as to why zed is gone. instead, zed vanishes off away from the monastery and, twenty minutes later, has to make himself detectable just so shen can find him properly from where he's followed zed to.

zed secretly wanted this to happen and gladly takes the young shen under his wing. obviously he doesn't tell him why zed's eyes are red or his hair is white or why sometimes he'll completely disappear in the shadows. eventually he coaxes shen into bed and fucks him, which is something shen never allowed him in his time, and the sensations of it are transmitted to future shen through his dreams and he wakes up feeling phantom sensations of zed holding him and eventually the present sz discover they have a very rudimentary means of communicating through their past selves via sex dreams/strong emotions lol

the juxtaposition between present shen and zed would have been explored, because even though at a glance, shen sticks to his lawfulness and zed immorally takes advantage of the power imbalance, when they each discover that they receive the feelings of their past selves, zed treats past shen tenderly and tries to make him softer.... whispers the things he needs to remember, in the hopes that present shen will hear them and meet him halfway so that they can fix the timeline (and also meet him halfway feelings-wise 83c) whereas shen fights the young past zed and humiliates him, trains him even though logic tells him he shouldn't, treats zed the way the kinkou treated him, and all the feelings conveyed to present zed are ones of bitterness until it reaches a head and past zed snaps at him and almost dies. after that shen realizes that in lieu of master kusho distancing zed from the clan, shen is now the one doing that, when he should be taking this as an opportunity to fix the future and set things right between them.

just like present shen is forced to confront things about himself though, so is present zed. his feelings of "haha past shen was such a puppy" turn into slow realizations of why he loved shen in the first place. he thought, all this time, it was just because he was attracted to power and back then, shen had had it in abundance. but now, he can destroy shen any time he wishes and yet... it just makes him regret even more how things ended up the way they did, and he tries to give vague hints to past shen about things to avoid, and to remember to take care of himself and master kusho.

anyways it turns out the whole thing was engineered by zilean because he sees all timelines and he wants one where there isn't a fucking war between the shadows and the kinkou

ok i put this one at the bottom just bc it's yandere zed and it's pretty fucked and does get pretty graphic

tw mind control, brief ableism, amputation, lobotomy

Dark!fic: all of zed's students knows of his fixation on shen. by now everyone's used to those brief intense moments where he'll waft smog from his body just thinking about shen nd cursing his existence but none of them really know the full extent of it. it's not just zed, but the shadows as well, and they've wanted shen for such a long time, especially after kusho sealed them away. to take control of shen would be the first step to controlling two worlds after all, but instead, after all their pining, it's zed who comes along and they don't care about him but its their first opportunity in years, and they can sense the frustration and mutability in him so with no other option they decide he'll do

but when they take him over, zed's present fixation on shen, a very different sort, warps the shadows' and it becomes this twisted love where zed wants shen solely for himself, shen's mind and body and ambition must all belong to him, and he needs to kill everyone who gets in the way of that. of course, shen's father is first. then, the rest of the kinkou. when he finally has shen, he really doesn't want his hard work to go to waste! shen fights back of course but that's what makes him so cute--no, no, it's why he's a worthy host body, take him now--but all of zed's hard work!--and shen, where do you think you're going?

oh geez. zed REALLY doesn't want to do this but shen's always been so strong and zed can't guarantee he'll always be able to overpower shen or outrun him. well, he will be able to guarantee it if shen has no legs! you complete utter fool you've rendered him useless! he loves shen's hands though so he gets to keep those.

zed was really hoping that would be all it took, he was even being extra nice to shen by not force-feeding him those chi suppressants. but no. a week later shen tries to escape again, by warping out this time, and zed desperately and frantically tears the place apart looking for him. he sends his order out but shen could be anywhere at all, though shen's mind apparently couldn't take him very far because they find him rather quickly. he's lying unconscious in a pool of his own blood. it looks like he was dragging himself towards the edge of that cliff, but the ones who found him don't tell zed that.

zed is heartbroken. he's not even angry, maybe a little, but he's just so sad that shen still wants to leave him after all they've been through. he holds shen and apologizes over and over for taking his legs, he knows shen was--attached to them. zed will definitely make it up to him. he loves shen so much. the shadows agree with that much at least. as gently as he can he straps shen to a chair and takes out an ice pick, positioning it very carefully over shen's prefrontal cortex. shen, please stop squirming and shouting, please, he doesn't want to hurt you. he's going to make it better. he's going to make it so that you never want to leave.

on a lighter note thnks for checkin in!! i dont realistically expect anyone to read the entire thing because the way i type is actually horrendous but thanks for reading even a lil bit. i wrote this like 5 months ago which is thankfully enough time to not care as much about how embarrassing this is :)

i lied im still embarrassed