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emilieautumnarchives · 1 month ago

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Orkus International (Nov/Dec/Jan 2007/2008)

This English edition of Orkus featured EA's "Mad Tea Party." It was printed in black and white, but colored versions have been floating around for a while. The magazine also included a Laced/Unlaced Poster.

Speculation: Because the scans I have are in German, I assume this also appeared in the December 2007 issue of Orkus Magazine.

Note: I typed out the German myself. Excuse any misspellings or weirdness; I don't speak German.

EMILIE AUTUMN: MAD TEA PARTY Taking time out from the madness to enjoy teatime doesn't mean you have to be sane...

Treue Fans wissen, dass Emilie Autumns Welt nicht hinter ihrer wegwelsenden Musik aufort. Mit ihrem Asylum hat sich die bildhubsche, arbeitssuchtige Victoriandustrial-Prinzessin einen ureigenen, geheimnisvollen und faszinierenden Kosmos kreiert, and dem man bisher nur auf ihren Live-Shows oder in den fabelhaften Booklets ihrer CDs teilhaben konnte. Nun jedoch offnet Emilie die Tore in ihre Welt und bittet die Orkus-Leser zu einer unvergesslichen Teestunde im einzigartigen Emilie Autumn-Stil. Kostliche Kuchen, unerwartete Dinge aus Marzipan, gar rosige Bonbonbs, Schoko-Schlemmereien... wenn Miss Autumn schon ze einer Teestunde ladt, dann aber bitte mit sehr viel Stil und Genuss. Und damit diese Teestunde im viktorianischen Asylum-Stil kein Einzelfall bleiben muss, hat Emilie gleich ihre Lieblingsrezepte mitgebracht, die wir fur Euch aufrgrund ihrer unvergleichbaren Sprache in unveranderter, englischer Form gesammelt haben.

Highly Doubtful Teacake with Very Suspicious Crème

What makes this teacake so very “doubtful” is the addition of fresh lavender, the historical meaning for which is “distrustful”. So be careful whom you share it with…

Teacake Ingredients:

1 cup milk

3 Tbsp. fresh chopped lavender flowers

2 cups all-purpose flour

1½ tsp. baking powder

¼ tsp. salt

6 Tbsp. butter, softened

1 cup sugar

2 large eggs

Instructions:

Grease and flour a loaf pan, and no, I won’t tell you what size because it won’t matter anyway. You’re going to use whatever pan you have, and I’m not holding that against you, I do the same. Half of my recipes were created entirely out of being on the road touring, and really needing to make tarts, but having not the proper equipment. Baking is an adventure, so do treat it as such.

In any case! After greasing and flouring, kindly preheat your oven to 325°F. In a small saucepan, heat the milk, adding the chopped lavender and bring almost to a boil, then remove from heat and let steep until cool.

Sift flour, baking powder and salt together in a bowl. In another bowl, thrash the butter about until it’s light and creamy and gradually add sugar, then eggs, one at a time, thrashing even more until the whole mess is light and fluffy and much prettier than you ever imagined raw eggs ought to be. Add flour mixture and lavender milk alternating between each addition, and mix until batter is just blended, no longer.

Spoon the flowery goodness into your mystery loaf pan and bake for 50 minutes, or until a wooden skewer inserted in center comes out clean. Leave your cake to cool in the pan 5 minutes, then remove to a wire rack to cool. When completely cooled, dust with confectioners’ sugar and garnish with sprigs of fresh or candied lavender. If you don’t know how to candy lavender, then read ahead on the section on candying rose petals and you’ll get the idea. Serve with a dollop of Very Suspicious Crème.

Crème Ingredients:

8 oz. cream cheese

1 Tbsp. heavy cream

½ tsp. fresh chopped lavender flowers

3 Tbsp. confectioners’ sugar

1 tsp. pure vanilla extract

Blend the cream cheese with the heavy cream until smooth and fluffy. Add in the lavender, confectioners’ sugar, and vanilla, beating until silky and very suspicious looking. Serve with Teacakes of all sort, but especially highly doubtful ones.

TEA TIPS: When serving tea to your guests, be sure to present a variety of sugars. Piping tiny frosting flowers onto heart-shaped sugar lumps and displaying rock candy sugar in various colours will set your table sparkling! Save some for the rats…

Cyanide Tea Scones with Clotted Cream

Ah, sweet cyanide…what can we say about cyanide? You surely know it’s historical impact as a popular ingredient of both murder and suicide. But did you know that cyanide is derived from almonds? Being my personal flavour, you’ll see a somewhat excessive if not altogether inappropriate use of it in the following recipes. And as for the clotted cream, well, that sounds bad enough. Doesn’t it?

Scone Ingredients:

4 cups all-purpose flour

4 tsp. baking powder

½ cup sugar

1 tsp. salt

8 Tbsp. very cold, unsalted butter, cut into ¼ inch cubes

1 cup milk

6 black teabags of the best quality you can find, I prefer Twinings

2 eggs, beaten

½ tsp. pure almond extract

½ cup sliced almonds

1 Tbsp. cream

¼ cup sugar

¼ cup finely chopped almonds

Instructions:

Preheat oven to 400°F. In a chilled glass bowl, sift together flour, baking powder, sugar and salt. Using your fingers if you know what you’re doing or a pastry blender if you don’t, cut in the bits of butter until the crumbly mess is the size of smallish bees. Set the bowl into you refrigerator or out in the snow while you carry on. In a small saucepan, bring milk almost to a boil. Add tea bags, cover, and brew 5 minutes. Remove tea bags and cool. Beat in the eggs, almond extract, and sliced almonds. Gradually add tea mixture to flour mixture, stirring until just combined, no more.

Turn dough out onto a floured baking sheet and pat into a circle. Slice the dough into 16 triangular wedges. Alternately you can use heart shaped baking pans like the one I used here. Either way, brush dough with cream and sprinkle generously with sugar and chopped almonds. Bake 20 minutes or until golden, always best to sit right by the oven the first few times you try out a new recipe just to verify that everything’s going along as it should. Your oven is a unique creature you really should get to know, because no two are alike. Once done, cool scones on a wire rack. Serve with The Asylum’s Own Clotted Cream. Makes 16 scones.

Clotted Cream Ingredients:

½ cup cold heavy cream

3 Tbsp. confectioner’s sugar

½ cup sour cream

¼ tsp. almond extract

In a chilled bowl, beat cream until stiff peaks form, and don’t think you can’t do this by hand, because you can. As the cream begins to stiffen up, sift in the confectioner’s sugar. Gently fold in the sour cream, and almond extract, and voila! Clots galore! Chill until use. This fluffy topping for scones and crumpets is also called “Devonshire Cream,“ but it doesn’t quite have the same ring to it…clots clots clots clotty clots…

Marzipan Leeches & Plague Rats

Yes, more almonds…but that is hardly important when it is merely a delicious modeling tool for some truly gourmet bonbons. Marzipan rats will charm your guests, marzipan leeches will horrify them. Just let them wait until you’ve given them all names…

Ingredients:

1 package (8 oz.) Marzipan (baker’s almond paste, available everywhere)

¼ cup confectioner’s sugar

2 Tbsp. Amaretto liquer

1 tsp. unsweetened cocoa powder

1 thin-tipped paintbrush

To begin with, open your Marzipan and cover it with a damp cloth as it likes to dry out and then what have you got? Next, add a bit of the cocoa powder to a few drops of the liquer and mix it with the paintbrush, experimenting with ratios to achieve a palette of lovely browns that you can use to accent your rats and leeches. Sprinkle some sugar onto your hands and work surface and you’re ready to begin a life-changing adventure!

Leeches:

Leeches can be sculptured in myriad ways, but I will explain my method as a mere example.

Roll a small ball of dough until it becomes a rope, then roll the rope between your hands until it is thinner at one end.

Curl the rope to make your leech, posing him in whatever manner you find suitable, keeping in mind his station and lineage.

Roll two tiny balls of dough for the eyes, and attach them to the top of your leech’s head, then make an indentation within each eye with a very small object.

After waiting at least 30 minutes to let the leeches dry, use your cocoa-liquer mixture to paint stripes and details onto your leech, and place him in a bonbon paper to be displayed proudly in your best leech jar.

Plague Rats:

Roll the rat’s body from a small ball of dough into an oval with one end pointed for the nose.

Roll two little dough bits into ear shapes and press them into the sides of your rat’s head in an appropriate spot.

Roll a thin snake of dough and attach to the rat’s body, curling it over his back for the tail.

Using the wooden end of your paintbrush, make the indentations for the eyes.

After waiting at least 30 minutes to let the rat dry, use your cocoa-liquer mixture to paint shadows and details onto your rat, and place him in a bonbon paper to be displayed proudly on your tea table.

Cucumber Hatred Tea Sandwiches

If revenge is a dish best served cold, then this is the dish they were talking about. The Historical meaning of basil is ‘Hatred’ and these delicate finger sandwiches are loaded with it…who’s cool as a cucumber now?

Ingredients:

8 oz. cream cheese, softened

3 Tbsp. cream

½ tsp. salt

¼ tsp. black pepper

3 Tbsp. fresh chives, chopped

6 slices wheat bread

6 slices white bread

1 English (seedless) cucumber

1 Bushel of fresh basil leaves (approx. 24)

Beat together the cream cheese and cream until smooth. Add salt, pepper and chives, blending well. Spread 1 slice of wheat bread and one slice of white bread with cream cheese mixture. Arrange a layer of cucumber slices on the wheat bread and top with basil leaves. Place white bread slice on top and smash sandwich down ever so gently with a rolling pin. Trim crusts, and cut into triangles. Repeat with remaining bread to make 24 hate-filled sandwiches.

Rose Petal Poison Sandwiches

Poison? Well, not if you go into your garden and pick yourself some fresh, chemical free petals. Otherwise, you’ll get sick and the sarcasm will be lost…

Ingredients:

6 oz. sweet butter packed in fresh rose petals1 overnight, softened

¼ cup confectioners’ sugar

1 cup fresh, clean rose petals (from your garden, pesticide-free)

½ sliced almonds

12 slices white bread

To assemble one sandwich, spread two slices of bread with rose scented butter. Sift sugar over buttered sides of bread. Arrange a layer of rose petals, followed by a layer of almonds. Top with the other slice of sugared, buttered bread, and press down with rolling pin. Trim crusts and cut into triangles, hearts, rounds to suit your fancy. Sift sugar over sandwiches and top each with a candied rose petal (petals dipped in beaten egg white and rolled in granulated sugar, then dried until crisp). Repeat with remaining ingredients to equal 24 sandwiches.

Royally Mad Tea

A standard British Royal Tea is served with a glass of champagne and one o’ sherry. Call me crazy, but for my Royally Mad Tea, I prefer champagne and absinthe.

#interviews #2007 #2008 #orkus #mad tea party #emilie autumn

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erotica-author-liz-adams · 1 year ago

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MAD TEA PARTY EXCERPT FROM “Alice’s Salacious Adventures in Wonderland”

After a few minutes of walking through a quiet forest, Alice arrived at an enormous house that must have belonged to the Hare for the path ended there. In front of the house was a long table decorated with china teacups, teapots, teakettles, and teaspoons. Two men sat with a sleeping woman between them. One of the men had a Roman nose and big jaw, wore an orange shirt and green vest, and an enormous top hat. Clearly, the Hatter. His orange shirt sported a picture of a teapot on it. Ridiculous. Shirts with tea illustrations on them. Such tea-shirts would never stay in fashion long.

The other man was, well, yum. The signs must have made a spelling error. The sign should have read “Bare,” not “Hare.” This other man was naked, muscle-clad, and covered with hair. The woman had a beautiful flow of blonde hair draped over her shoulders. She, too, was naked. She slept leaning back in her chair.

As Alice approached, their discussion became more distinct.

“Some more tea?” the Hatter asked the Hare.

“Yes, please.”

The Hatter poured, but as far as she could tell, nothing came out of the spout.

“Milk?” the Hatter asked.

“Yes, please,” the Hare replied.

The Hatter placed the empty teacup directly under the woman’s breast and tweaked her nipple. The woman giggled in her sleep and her nipple hardened, but no milk had come from it.

She did a quick check and squeezed her own nipple. No milk.

She walked to the table as the Hatter handed the teacup past the woman to the Hare.

It wasn’t until Alice took a seat across from the three that the Hatter noticed her.

“You can’t sit there,” the Hatter said. “There isn’t enough room.”

“There’s plenty of room,” Alice protested.

“Alright then,” the Hatter said. “If you want to join us, you must figure out the one thing that is wrong with this poem. ‘Twinkle twinkle goes your eye, as I finger you to cry. Moan above my fingers’ thrusts, like a tortured soul of lust.’”

She scowled.

“Well?” the Hatter asked.

“Well, everything seems wrong with that poem.” She folded her arms across her chest.

“Ha! You can’t find the one thing, can you?”

“I give up,” she said. “What’s the one thing wrong with it?”

“Beats me.” The Hatter turned to the Hare. “Do you know?”

The Hare shrugged, his flexed muscles glistening in the sunlight.

The woman blurted out, “I love you, Hare!” and mumbled back into sleep.

“Well then, have some more tea, Mr. Hare.” The Hatter poured another cup of emptiness.

“Milk?” the Hatter asked.

“Of course,” the Hare said.

The Hatter pinched the woman’s nipple again, over the empty cup. She giggled and then snored.

Alice asked, “Why do you pinch her nipples all the time?”

The Hatter said, “Why, to get milk for our tea, of course.”

“But there is no milk.”

“There is no tea, either,” sighed the Hatter. “Honestly. Do keep up.”

The woman shouted, “I love you, Hatter!” and mumbled back to sleep.

“Who is she, anyway?” Alice asked.

The Hare said, “This is Minnie. The most wonderful woman in the world.”

Minnie cried out, “Kiss, please!”

The Hare kissed Minnie’s lips until Minnie fell back to sleep.

He turned to Alice and said, “Would you like to hear a story? Minnie tells the best stories!”

“Yes, very much!” Alice said.

The Hatter lovingly brushed Minnie’s hair past her ear and whispered, “Minnie, wake up. It’s story time.”

Minnie’s eyes fluttered from a dream. She looked back and forth between the Hatter and the Hare.

“Oh, good,” she said smiling. “It wasn’t just a dream.”

The Hare kissed her cheek and said, “It’s story time.”

“But I don’t have a book to read from.”

Alice jumped in.

“I have a book.” She pulled it out of her pocket and looked at the title. “But it’s broken.”

“How can a book be broken?” asked Minnie.

“It says, ‘The Story of OMH,’ but that’s not right.”

“Let me see,” said the Hatter with an outstretched arm.

He took the book and showed it to Minnie.

Minnie said, “You’re correct. That’s not right.”

Alice nodded.

“It doesn’t say, ‘The Story of OMH,’” Minnie said. “It says ‘The Story of O.’”

“Really?” Alice said. She rounded the table to look over Minnie’s shoulder. As far as she could see, it read, The Story of OMH. She took the book from Minnie’s hands and read to herself the beginning. “Old Mother Hubbard lived in a cupboard…”

“You better read it aloud.” She gave the book back to Minnie. “It seems to work with you.”

Minnie started on page one and it was just how Alice remembered it. The starting scenes of O meeting her lover René at the park, taking the taxi ride, taking off her panties, and René removing her bra before arriving at a chateau. The scene where O is bathed by two chambermaids, then dressed in a collar and bracelets and cape and paraded in front of anonymous men.

Alice, the Hatter, and the Hare listened in silence as the erotic words left Minnie’s lips. The Hatter and Hare gazed upon Minnie with love in their eyes. Such a contrast to The Story of O. Every so often, the Hatter and the Hare drank from their teacups. Alice ignored the ridiculousness of them drinking nothing and listened to Minnie’s reading.

“‘Finally, finished with her, they moved away...’” Then Minnie stopped.

“What’s wrong?” Alice asked.

“What do they mean by ‘finished’?” Minnie said.

“You know,” she said. “They had an orgasm.”

“What’s an ‘orgasm’?” Minnie asked.

How confusing. Did Minnie have the same problem with reaching climax?

“You know when you have sex?” she asked.

The Hatter said, “Male or female?”

“No,” she said. “Sex like what they were talking about in the book.”

The Hare said, “They weren’t talking about gender?”

“No!”

Minnie murmured, “I think I may have completely misunderstood this story.”

The Hare and Hatter looked at Minnie and nodded sympathetically.

Alice observed the three of them. They seemed to love each other so much. And without having made love. Perhaps she could be the one to take them to a whole new height of appreciating each other. With both the Hatter and the Hare, there was ample penetration that could even provide Minnie with the orgasm she so deserved.

“I’ll do it,” Alice said.

“Do what?” The Hatter asked.

“I’ll show you what an orgasm is, and while I’ll definitely be able to get you guys to experience one, Minnie, I’ll do my best to make sure you have one, too.”

“Yay!” Minnie said. “Do I get to choose its color?”

She chuckled. “Orgasms don’t come in different colors,” she said.

“Then I guess I’ll have it in its normal color,” Minnie said.

Alice moved dishes, cups, saucers, and spoons down to the far end of the table.

“Hare,” she said, “I need you to lie down on the table.”

“Face up or face down?”

“Face up,” she said.

The Adonis lay his naked, muscled body on the table. His hairy chest filled and emptied with each breath. His penis rested flaccid at his hips. His strong legs and arms looked clenched even in their relaxed state.

“Minnie,” she said. “You need to kiss the Hare on the lips.”

“It’s a kiss?” asked Minnie. “Well, in that case, I’ve had puh-lenty of orgasms!”

She smiled. “The orgasm comes later. For now, love him with your kisses.”

Meanwhile, I’ll give him a hand job to make him hard.

Minnie sat in the chair beside the Hare’s head and looked into his eyes. Alice was about to reach for the Hare’s cock but stopped when she saw Minnie wasn’t kissing him.

Minnie sat there, and the two of them looked into each other’s eyes. Alice couldn’t believe it but watching them interact this way made her pulse race.

Minnie moved her head closer to his, still gazing into his eyes.

Amazing. He was getting hard just anticipating the kiss.

Alice watched the Hare’s cock come to life, growing bigger, increasing every inch their lips came closer together.

Alice’s nipples hardened.

Lord, this is so hot!

At last, Minnie kissed the Hare full on the mouth. The Hare pulsed, his length bobbed, aching for attention.

“Okay, Minnie,” she said. “You can stop kissing him and come over here. Now I want you to—”

Minnie continued to kiss the Hare.

For goodness sake!

“Minnie! Wake up!”

Minnie separated from the kiss but kept her eyes fixed on the Hare who smiled up at her.

“Now, come sit here”—she pointed to the Hare’s waist—“with a knee on either side of him.”

“That’s a funny way to sit,” Minnie said. But she climbed atop the Hare letting his cock nuzzle against her cleft.

“Now rock your hips back and forth on top of him.”

Minnie placed her hands on his abs and shifted forward and back along his length.

“Mmm. I quite like this trick,” Minnie said with a breathy voice.

“As do I.” The Hare took her hands in his. He watched the rapture in her face and seemed to take more pleasure with that.

“As do I,” the Hatter said.

The crazy man had a spoon stuffed down his pants like he was using it as a back scratcher but for his itches in other places.

Minnie brought the Hare’s hands upon her breasts, pushing them against her nipples. The Hare got the message and massaged them. Minnie arched her back, her head tilted up to enjoy the feel of skin and sunshine.

Alice had to make sure Minnie was good and wet for the Hare. She buried her fingers between Minnie and the Hare, feeling the moisture between Minnie’s folds, noticing the slickness of the Hare’s pulsating cock. Whoa. They were ready, alright. They felt like they had been ready for months.

“Sit up off of him,” she told Minnie.

Minnie kept right on moving her hips and looked at her with pleading eyes, “Do I have to?”

She placed a gentle hand on her face and smiled.

“Just for a moment,” she said. “I promise.”

Minnie sighed and positioned herself above the Hare, revealing the Hare’s impressive length. His hardness must have doubled in size from the attention Minnie gave him.

Alice wrapped her hand around the Hare’s cock and pointed it up at Minnie’s center.

“Okay, Minnie,” she said, “It’s time for you and the Hare to become one. Sit back down, take him inside of you. As slow as you need.”

She expected Minnie to require a gradual filling of her pussy. First the head of the Hare pushing past the entrance, time to feel that, to accommodate to his size. Then a slow inch further, overcoming any discomfort, letting subtle pain become pleasure. Releasing moans of delight. A slow inch further, and further, to fill her completely, with caution and attention to the sensations.

But that was not the case. Minnie drifted down onto the Hare in one movement. She must have been so wet inside, the Hare’s shaft clearly soothed and satisfied her aches more than caused any. To confirm her suspicion, Minnie’s face turned to rapture, and Minnie screamed out the Hare’s name.

The Hatter ran beside Minnie. “Oh, my love. You look positively stunning!”

He guided her chin with a delicate hand to his face and kissed her full on the lips. Minnie wrapped her arms around the Hatter’s head. Kissed him back with a passion Alice longed for. Minnie eased up off of the Hare, revealing much of his shaft, and impaled herself upon him once more. Her kiss with the Hatter became several deep kisses, one after the other, as she moved up and down the Hare, letting him fill her, again and again.

The naked Hare moaned. He met Minnie’s movements by thrusting up into her as she came down, his hairy chest covered with the rising dew of sweat. He kept right on handling Minnie’s breasts, lifting them, brushing his fingers across her nipples, gently tweaking them.

Minnie broke from the Hatter’s kiss, apparently to enjoy the sensations the Hare triggered at her core. The Hare shoved into her faster. No doubt, he would have no trouble with his climax, but would their exertions be enough for Minnie to have her own? Minnie was properly stuffed with a man’s cock, but she could be penetrated in other places.

To make sure Minnie had an orgasm, Alice looked at the Hatter. He had his pants open, his length in his hand. It was long and narrow. That was good. But she was not so sure the Hatter would be careful enough for what she had in mind.

She stepped to the Hatter, took hold of his cock, and stroked him gently.

“Hatter,” she said, “watch carefully what I do so you know how to do it later with this magnificent tool of yours.”

She kissed his cheek and gave his cock a squeeze before letting it go. She looked at Minnie and the Hare. Minnie sat planted firmly on the Hare, completely filled with his length, and moved her hips back and forth, keeping his full cock inside of her.

“Yes!” Minnie cried out, the open air kissing her body. “Oh, yes!”

The Hare grunted and growled as Minnie used his cock to stir inside of her. He ground his pelvis in circles against her.

Alice took off her panties and placed them on the tea table. The Hatter returned to pumping himself, the others let their moans echo through the tree-sized plants. Alice climbed behind Minnie, knees on either side of the Hare’s thighs. She moved Minnie’s golden hair over to bare the nape of her neck. Kissed her there once, twice, and hugged Minnie from behind. Alice rested her head against Minnie’s neck and shoulder. She placed her hands over the Hare’s, pressing them onto Minnie’s breasts. She squeezed Minnie’s body tight. Holding her. Loving her. She felt Minnie’s warmth through the front of her dress.

“This is the kind of love you deserve,” Alice whispered. “The kind of love every woman deserves.”

Minnie moaned.

Alice squeezed her tight. Minnie leaned her body into Alice, letting Alice hold her. When Minnie leaned her head back onto Alice’s shoulder, Alice kissed Minnie’s neck, tenderly, gently, in the fragile place behind the chin. Minnie sighed and continued to gyrate full with the Hare’s thickness.

She released Minnie. She picked up a teapot beside her. Its spout was long and narrow. Alice ran a finger around the ceramic lip.

“This teapot feels like rubber.” She stroked around the mouth of the spout and felt it get softer, more flexible. She placed the teapot under her dress in front of her waist with the spout poking out her dress. “This teapot is like having my own penis.”

Her waist tingled. The handle of the teapot melted warm into her skin, the back of the teapot collapsed onto her, all until she was left with the spout attached to her waist.

With the dress draping on either side of the spout, allowing the spout to protrude from under her dress, she moved closer to Minnie. She placed her hands on Minnie’s shoulders, and whispered, “Bend over and hug the Hare close to your body.”

As Minnie rested her body down, Alice planted kisses along her spine. Minnie and the Hare kissed each other. The Hare thrust into her. Alice caressed the Hare’s warm sac and traced the line underneath with her finger. It was slick from the juices flowing out of Minnie.

With her other hand, she traced the line on Minnie’s now exposed skin leading to her other entrance. Not as slick, so Alice joined the Hare by putting a finger alongside the Hare’s cock. She pushed her finger inside Minnie’s pussy and felt the underside of the Hare’s cock pushing back and forth against it. The stroking sensation Alice was giving the Hare must have been good for him, for he called out, “Yes!”

By the way Minnie moaned in response, stretching Minnie’s walls with her finger did good things for her, too.

Alice pushed in another.

She twirled her fingers inside Minnie, alongside the Hare’s length, working to get her fingers as wet as possible.

“Incredible,” Minnie cried.

She removed her hand and traced Minnie’s other opening with the moistened pads of her fingers. She placed kisses on Minnie’s lower back and with her other hand clutching Minnie’s bottom, she pushed her open and slid a finger inside.

“Mmm,” Minnie said through her kiss with the Hare, and Minnie clenched tight around her finger.

This isn’t going to be wet enough.

She looked at the spout sticking out of her and said, “This spout is like it has a never-ending supply of delicious, warm tea.”

She placed her hands at the lip of the spout, tilted the spout down, and collected the warm water in her hands. She rubbed the spout with her wet hands and brought the lip to Minnie’s dark entrance. She grabbed hold of Minnie’s fleshy cheeks and opened her to more easily accept this additional penetration. The tip of the spout pushed past Minnie’s clenching hole. Minnie gasped.

“Hatter,” Alice said. “You see how I’m being very slow?”

“Yes.” The Hatter rubbed his cock. “Slowly, slowly.”

Minnie resisted Alice’s penetration. She stopped pushing.

“Help Minnie relax,” she told the Hatter.

The Hatter stood beside Minnie, stroking her hair and whispered words to help her relax. Minnie responded by grabbing the Hatter’s cock and taking him in her lips. The Hatter cried out with shouts of pleasure. Minnie let her mouth drip freely, coating the Hatter with whatever wetness remained in her.

Alice looked at her spout and watched the tea pour in and spill out of Minnie, and when she felt less resistance, she pushed the spout in deeper.

“You’re doing great,” she called out to Minnie.

“Yes,” the Hatter said. “You’re doing great!”

She smiled. The Hatter was referring to something else.

Minnie presented less resistance again, so she pushed in deeper.

Minnie let the Hatter’s shaft fall from her mouth, dripping with saliva, and called out, “More, more!”

Alice glided in and out of Minnie, kneading her ass with her hands. Minnie rested her head on the Hare’s shoulder. Perhaps Minnie was fully concentrating on feeling Alice and the Hare thrust in and out of her. The Hare kissed her wherever he could reach. The Hatter’s slick-coated cock awaited more attention.

Alice said, “Hatter, it’s your turn.”

The Hatter went to Alice.

“Get behind me and kneel like me,” she said.

He placed a knee on either side of the Hare’s legs.

Alice lifted the back of her dress to bare her pussy, and leaned over Minnie.

“Ok, Hatter. Now that you’re behind me, go inside me. Remember how I did it.”

“Slowly, slowly,” he said.

“Right.” She placed her head and hands on Minnie’s back, keeping the spout inside Minnie, and she waited for the Hatter’s tip to penetrate her pussy.

When it did, she opened her eyes wide. He had pushed the head of his cock inside her, alright, but at the wrong opening. She wasn’t expecting to get her ass filled. But oh, it felt so good! The head slid right in having been slick with Minnie’s saliva.

The Hatter leaned over without pushing further and stroked Alice’s hair.

“Lovely,” he said tracing her cheek with his fingertips.

She shivered at his touch. So gentle. So dear. Goosebumps tingled her arms and down her back. At the same time, she felt her core flush with heat. She clenched around the Hatter’s length, wanting him to experience orgasm but seeing no way he could possibly stick that huge thing any deeper. Should she tell him to pull out and prep himself clean for her pussy? No. She didn’t want him to leave. At least, not yet. Having him fill her ass made her throb in places inside of her that she didn’t even know existed.

She hadn’t thought about it before, but perhaps she had never climaxed because she had been pleasing the wrong passage.

She slid a hand down past the spout between her legs and found the nub to stimulate. She rubbed herself with her fingertips, enjoying the new sensation behind her, and relaxed.

And the Hatter pushed deeper.

She wrapped her free arm around Minnie’s torso and held her tight as she rubbed herself faster. That cock felt hot, hot, hot, opening her wide, turning on waves of energy through her body.

The Hatter placed his hands on Alice’s shoulders and massaged them.

“You’re lovely,” he said. “So lovely.”

She rested her fingers at her clit and enjoyed how the Hatter’s hands massaged away the tension in her shoulders.

And the Hatter pushed deeper.

Hot! So hot! Her hand hastened, alternating between rubbing herself and sticking two fingers inside of her. Her two fingers became three when the Hatter pushed his remaining length into her, filling her completely. Right then, she had an immense appreciation for Minnie. There ought to be an award for any girl who can fully take a shaft inside each of her passages, much less just one from behind as she was feeling now.

The Hatter stayed there, keeping her fully stuffed. He leaned over and placed kisses on her back. She clenched around him, relishing his thickness penetrating her.

She closed her eyes. Taking in the moment. She could feel the Hatter’s hands on her shoulders again, kneading out the stiffness there. She could hear Minnie and the Hare kissing each other again. She could smell the lust wafting up from their bodies’ cores. She kissed Minnie’s back and could taste the salty sweat upon her.

“You are so lovely,” the Hatter said.

She pushed her hips forward—enough to ease a bit of the Hatter’s length out of her—then arched back against him. The re-entrance was as fiery as when he first inched that thick cock into her, and just as smooth, thanks to Minnie’s tongue.

She repeated the small movement. Back and forth, controlling the in and out strokes of his cock.

Minnie moaned. Oh, right. Moving her hips forward to relieve herself of the Hatter’s shaft pushed the spout deeper into Minnie.

Alice started up a slow rhythm, moving forward to delve into Minnie, moving back to take more of the Hatter’s lovely cock. She moaned with the rush.

Hot! Hot! Hot! His thickness opened her wide and she rubbed herself with rapid fingertips. The Hare joined the rhythm, thrusting into Minnie as Alice moved out.

“Yes!” Minnie called out. “Faster!”

Alice grabbed hold of Minnie’s waist and thrust inside her tea-filled hole. The Hatter followed suit. The Hatter held her waist and thrust his full length into her, pushing her deeper into Minnie.

“That’s it!” Minnie shouted. “Yes!”

The Hatter focused on a constant shuttling of his long cock. The blissful heat set Alice ablaze. She went back to rubbing her clit as the Hatter did the work, thrusting into Alice, pushing her into Minnie. His strokes shoved into both the women, and they moved together, jolted together, cried out together.

Alice felt connected to Minnie like twins experiencing the same feelings. She slid her free hand down Minnie’s arm, found Minnie’s hand, and clasped tight. Together they held hands, and the Hatter thrust into them, drove into them, filling them. The Hare kissed Minnie deeply.

Alice understood the love the Hare had for Minnie because Alice, too, wanted to make sure Minnie felt the loving orgasm she so deserved.

The Hatter throbbing in her dark channel. He was close.

And that was all due to me. Lovely Alice. The Hatter feels this way because of me.

“Oh!” cried Minnie. “I think I’m going to explode!”

“Me too!” the Hare said.

“Yes.” Alice smiled. “That’s an orgasm. Let it happen.”

Minnie cried out and the Hare cried out at the same time.

Their beautiful bodies tensed, shook, and shuddered, and she rammed three fingers deep inside herself.

Her walls pulse around her fingers. She squeezed her eyes shut. She screamed. Her muscles tensed. She clenched around the Hatter’s cock. All her nerves erupted. She had visions of fire sparks bursting, green and blue, red and orange. The Hatter thrust and pinned his waist against hers, and his seed filled deep within her uncharted passage.

And Alice realized she was wrong. Orgasms do come in different colors.

She opened her eyes, head spinning and dizzy. And soon she felt the table at her knees, the cool air blowing against her legs and face, and the heat of Minnie at her chest and the Hatter softening within her.

The four of them stayed still, all of them connected. All of them one. Her legs felt wobbly. She had to rest on Minnie’s back. The Hatter lay on top of Alice. She felt the weight of his love. It made the love feel solid. Real.

“Okay,” Minnie said. “I’m getting squished.”

The Hatter climbed off the table, and Alice carefully pulled out of Minnie, backing up on the table.

The Hatter caressed Alice’s face and said, “Lovely. Thank you.”

She smiled and kissed his cheek.

Minnie and the Hare held each other. The Hatter went to their side. When they saw him, they each reached out an arm to him. The Hatter put his head close to theirs to hug them as best as he could.

I believe I actually had an orgasm. Maybe that was all it took, to be penetrated in that untouched passage.

She took the spout in her hands and said, “This is like a regular, ceramic teapot.”

Her waist tingled and the teapot separated itself from her. She set it on the table, climbed off, and put her underwear back on. It was time to move on.

She turned to wish her friends goodbye, but Minnie had turned herself around, lying with her back on the Hare, and now had the Hatter on top of her in her arms. They were in a sweet embrace, in their own world. Better not to disturb them.

She wandered towards the forest.

Wow, I actually had an orgasm.

Since she could climax, she wasn’t a freak after all. She could, in fact, love a man as much as any other girl. And just wait until Carol heard about her successful orgasm!

Alice giggled. “I feel like I’m walking on air!”

Her giggles turned to laughter as she floated above the ground, the earth no longer pinching her feet. She scampered toward the forest of plants letting the puffs of air at her feet lead the way.

EXCERPT FROM “Alice’s Salacious Adventures in Wonderland”

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