#MY MANS JACKED ASF

[genderlessjacky]

guys i just realized something

so a sledgehammer weighs like about 10 pounds RIGHT?? AND TEN POUNDS IS PRETTY HEAVY RIGHT??

AND THIS SKINNYASS PINECONE /pos IS THROWING AND PLAYING AROUND WHICH I ASSUME WOULD BE A SMALL SLEDGEHAMMER LIKE IT WEIGHS N O T H I N G???

i would not want to get into a fight with him at all

[jack-kellys]

jack kelly screencap study during work today

[kellyscowboy]

i don't understand how my mom thinks that javid is a bromance. like mother. mother please.

jack kelly i know what you are.

david jacobs i know what you are.

[sheila--e]

Man who the fuck gives a shit about "men's rights". What rights??? What rights do men not have??? The right to be annoying dickheads??

[harleezysbby19]

the fact his hair is actually long enough to put in a little ponytail and have bangs…crazy

[thaliagracesgf]

i get a boyfriend

part two of the casual series! (requests are in progress, i just churned this out because it is my baby)

warnings: making out and luke being cocky asf

wc: 1.2k

the sun streamed through your eyelids in the morning. you shifted in bed, cozying up in rebellion. you really did not want to get up. you felt luke behind you, starting to move, and you closed your eyes. you knew he wouldn’t be able to wake you up just yet. 

his head finds the crook of your neck, and his curls brush against your face. you’ve never felt so safe. 

“jesus christ,” you’re rudely disturbed. you keep your eyes shut. maybe beckendorf will leave. 

a knot grows in your stomach as luke grumbles from behind you. “fuck off, man. i was sleeping.”

“yeah. i noticed.” 

“what are you doing here? this isn’t your cabin,” he said, sleep evident in his low voice. 

“yeah, isn’t hers either. so are you two a thing now? you finally hook up last night? what’s the sitch here, because silena needs her update.”

with that, luke pulls himself up. “shut up, man.” he looks down at your ‘sleeping’ face, hoping you didn’t hear. “have some respect.”

you did hear, of course, and at first it did make you feel gross, but the ‘finally’ catches you, and you remember that luke wants you. he isn’t jack, who just wanted to fuck somebody, he’s been waiting, and yeah, the older kids at camp sometimes fuck. it’s relieving to realize that beckendorf doesn’t know about last night— he would never had said that if he did. besides, luke’s attempt at a defense, though hampered by his sleep-addled brain, is adorable. 

“i’m just saying! don’t act like you haven’t thought about it. every person in this godforsaken camp can see it, ’cept maybe her.” 

“can you seriously fuck off? i’ve got my girl, don’t make it my problem that you’re scared of yours.” 

you laugh softly at that one. you don’t open your eyes, but you can feel luke freeze behind you. beckendorf doesn’t notice, but your gig is up anyway. 

“your girl?” you mumble, a smile crossing your lips. beckendorf stifles a laugh. 

“alright, i’m heading out! good luck with this one, man.” you open your eyes, and even as they’re adjusting to the light in the cabin, you swear you can see him wink. you’re not sure which one of you it’s to. 

“die,” luke calls after him, throwing his head back on the pillow, but pulling you into his chest. 

“hi.” you say, still facing away from him, and he tucks his head into your neck again. 

“hi.” luke says. 

you turn yourself over to look at his eyes. they’re such a deep brown. he tilts his head forward. you smile. you let his lips graze yours. 

it’s exactly like it was when you were fourteen, and a million times more. he’s soft and gentle, pulling back between each kiss. your arms move around his neck, his wrap around your waist. you’ve never felt so secure in your life. 

but you have to pull away. “i— i…” you start. 

luke sits up. “i’m sorry,” he says. “i’m so sorry. fuck, that was so stupid of me. i’m so sorry, gods, what was i thinking?” he ran his hand through his hair. it was adorable. you reach out to his arm. (gods, he’s jacked). you wish you had allowed yourself to stare sooner. you’d been depriving yourself. 

“it’s okay, luke. it was…it was really nice.” it seems like such a cheap thing to say, and by the look on his face, it wasn’t all that convincing. “i’m not… this is just a lot to process.” 

“in what way?” he probes. you aren’t used to people asking questions. usually hannah just stares you down until the words come out of your mouth.

“i mean,” you try to word it in a way that won’t set him off. “it would be kind of shitty to jump into anything, right? after what happened with jack?”

luke gives a contemptuous look at the mention of his name. “no,” he scoffs. he’s still sitting up, looking down at you lying in his bed. you figure it might be a bad time to tell him how badly you want him to kiss you again. 

“well, i don’t know. doesn’t it look like i’m just hopping around from guy to guy?” 

“ok. first of all, i’m pretty sure there are only, like, four people who know about you and jack. second of all, at the risk of sounding like an absolute dick, aren’t you supposed to be in love with me or something?”

you gasp. “what the hell?”

he grins. “it’s just what i’ve heard. you know what the camp gossip mill is like.” 

you groan, hiding your face in your hands. “this is so not fair.”

and he laughs, he really laughs. “how is it not fair?” 

“you are such a dick. this is so embarrassing. i’m going to kill you.”

“you seem pretty content under those blankets for someone plotting a murder.” you look through your fingers. his smile is so, so, unbelievably cute. “how is this not fair?”

“because you totally know everything and i don’t know anything.” 

“okay. what to you want to know?”

“shut up. die. i hope you drown today.”

“are you really going to make me say it, jack-jack?”

“i hate you.”

“i like you.” you go quiet. “i really, really like you. i think i’ve had a crush on you since we were fourteen. and i fucking love you. not like we already say everyday. like i think i’m actually fucking in love with you.”

he lays down beside you. you’re facing away from him, so he traces swirls on your shoulder.

you turn to face him, and for a second he has the decency to look nervous. 

you narrow your eyes at him. “so how do you really know i’m not just in this for the sex?” and he bursts out laughing. and before you know it, you’re laughing with him. and he loves the way your eyelids almost close when you do. 

“i wouldn’t blame you if you were,” he grins.

“well, who are you hooking up with these days? i’ll have to see if you have good reviews.”

“good luck with that, it might be difficult.”

“what, like you’ve never hooked up with an aphrodite girl after a bonfire.”

he shakes his head, and you’re honestly stunned. luke castellan, the most gorgeous boy on long island, is a virgin? 

“i mean,” he starts. “it’s not like i haven’t had offers.” 

“oh, shut up, you asshole,” you try to turn away from him, but he wraps his arms around you, and at his next words you freeze. 

“but i was holding out hope that it would be with you.” 

fuck. that was really hot. 

you look up, into his eyes. “i hate you,” you roll your eyes.

“i love you,” he murmurs, his eyes on your lips.

this time when he kisses you, you’re never letting him go. you wrap your arms around his neck, pulling him atop you. it takes everything in you not to roll your hips into his, but you don’t stop yourself from reaching down his torso to find the hem of his shirt, pulling it over his head, and running your hands along his stomach. fuck, you think for the second time that morning. he’s jacked. he smiles into the kiss, and you know you’re stroking his ego right alongside his abs. 

“so,” you say, biting your lip as his trace your jaw and neck. “what was that about ‘your girl’ earlier?”

you’re expecting a sly remark, a grin, or something. instead, he doesn’t hesitate—“be my girlfriend,” he almost moans. “please.” 

and you don’t have it in you to leave him waiting. 

“okay,” you whisper.

[cillsworld]

My devotion to you✧₊⁺

₊��‧₊˚౨ৎ˚₊✩‧₊₊✩‧₊˚౨ৎ˚₊✩‧₊₊✩‧₊˚౨ৎ˚₊✩‧₊₊✩‧₊˚౨ৎ˚₊✩‧₊

Ship|Jonathan Crane x fem!reader

Summary|you fall for your corrupt psychiatrist and he takes advantage of that.

Word Count|2765

Warnings|smut(18+!), age gap, abuse of power?, mentions of violent acts, oral(m rec!), rough sex, forced breeding!, baby trapping, (very) mild use of fear gas, mentions of drugs.

Notes|Jonathan is canonically 26 and reader is 18, reader is horny asf which is so real honestly like girl is down baddddddd. Also this is my second fic/piece of writing ever so that's cool, honestly it's a bit repetitive but I don't hate it sooo enjoy!

masterlist

You had always been an aggressive individual, constantly getting into fights both verbal and physical, being a headache to your parents, teachers, fellow peers and sometimes even the police.

Their last straw was when you beat a girl to unconsciousness for whatever irrational reason your brain had come up with and decided that you needed to be confined in a nut-house in order to change.

The first few days you were here, you were kept in solitary confinement with a straight-jacket to contain you from scratching your own eyeballs out, if you weren't insane before, that experience surely confirmed it.

But your disdain for the asylum went away as soon as your first session with Dr. Crane started, in high-school you were never big on crushes or boys really, since they all looked like wet rats and you couldn't bring yourself to be attracted to them.

That all changed when you saw the man that was meant to be your psychiatrist, Dr. Crane was the only thing keeping your remaining sanity intact, the man was so breathtakingly beautiful that all you ever did in your free-time was fantasize about him and count down the minutes to when you'd get to see him again.

Each session would consist of your failed attempts to flirt with him while he tried to bring your attention back towards the topic at hand, he was also the only psychiatrist you hadn't been violent against, that's why he was the one who actually stayed, just like you wanted him to.

So here you were, a smile present on your face as he walked into the room where you sat, confined by a straight jacked but nonetheless excited to see him, "you look unusually giddy today, what's the occasion?" He questioned while taking a seat across from you, looking down at the clipboard in-hand as he adjusted his glasses.

"I'm getting to see you after a whole week!" You responded with a giggle, leaning over the desk a bit as you usually did to get a better look at him, he looked back up with a raised eyebrow and sighed.

"Maybe if you didn't attack that man in the cafeteria, you wouldn't have been kept in solitary for a week and you would be able to see me earlier" he spoke with that usual stern tone of his, his words making you frown immediately, he looked and sounded so upset with you that you wanted to cry on the spot.

"He took my apple! What else was I supposed to do?" You retorted defensively almost immediately, jumping up a bit, all he did was stare at you, with that look that he knew would make you contemplate everything you just did, you calmed down and slumped back in your chair with that cute, conflicted look on your face.

"I'm sorry for yelling doctor Crane, are you mad at me?" You questioned quietly, your voice going soft and barely above a whisper, he swallowed with pursed lips before looking back down at his clipboard, writing something down that you tried to peer over to get a look at.

"No.. No, I'm not mad" he responded dismissively with a shake of his head, "but I have to say, this session isn't starting quite the way I had hoped" he continued making your expression falter, looking back up at you, "don't you think you've given me enough trouble for the week?"

"I gave you trouble doctor Crane?" You questioned with confusion lacing your voice and expression, leaning over the table with furrowed eyebrows, hugging yourself tighter then you were being forced to.

"Yes. I wasn't going to tell you but your little outburst caused me a lot of trouble with my seniors, they think I'm not making progress with you fast enough and they should give you to someone else" you immediately opened your mouth to protest when he said that but a raise of his hand signaling you to keep quiet was enough to make you shut yourself up.

"Now, I'm going to need you to be well-behaved for this session or I might as well hand you over" he threatened, almost daring you to challenge his words, "so.. Are you going to be good for me today?"

God why'd he have to word it like that, you quickly nodded while absentmindedly rubbing your thighs together, "yes I will Doctor Crane, I promise!" You responded, perking up and he nodded muttering a small "good", almost smirking at your compliance of anything he says in response to the simplest threat of being away from him.

“Now, I want you to tell m-“ you couldn’t help but cut him off, at this point it was a habit of yours and a casual occurrence, “what’s in that box doctor crane?” You questioned with a tilted head, nodding towards the briefcase that he’d brought in for the first time.

Usually your interruption would annoy him but this time it caused a rush of excitement in him, “I’m glad you asked darling..” your face heated up at the nickname that he called you rarely, every time he had said it, it had caught you off guard.

He opened the little black briefcase and as soon as he did the air felt different, heavy, your heartbeat had started to rapidly increase and every inch of your skin was becoming sweaty and clammy as anxiety filled you and your brain went panic mode.

”What’s in there doctor Crane?” You continued with the questioning now looking as if you were incredibly sick, your skin pale and flushed, “this, is a special creation of mine.. it’s what I use to keep extreme cases in line..”

His voice gradually became more raspy and deeper as he talked about it, looking into the briefcase with so much admiration that you almost wished you were it.

“I don’t like it..” you mumbled weakly as he brought it closer to you, instinctively leaning back as he did so, your vision going a bit blurry as your stared down into it, Crane on the other hand scoffed at your words.

“You aren’t supposed to like it" he replied in an almost snappy tone, closing it shut as he did so, "my dear, I need you to understand that if you keep misbehaving as you have recently.."

"I won't hesitate to give you an actually proper dose of what is in here" he patted the case as if to emphasize his point and you let out a soft gasp, "why would you do that doctor crane? I said I was sorry.." Your voice shaky and quiet, starting to understand why those patients you'd overhear would always talk of Crane as if he was the devil.

"You're already scared?" The way he said your name had a mocking undertone in it that you hadn't yet heard from him, "I said if you misbehave" he felt like a broken record, constantly repeating the same things and not getting much progress in return and frankly it was starting to annoy him too much for your own good.

He saw that sense of relief wash over you at his words, he couldn't help but want to ruin that peace and bring back the look in your eyes that sent his heart racing, "or.. I could give you a demo right now?"

"No-" you cut him off quickly, "that.. That's not necessary" you couldn't quite put a pin on the look in his eyes, was it amusement? Excitement? Either way it gave you a rush of adrenaline you enjoyed.

"are you sure about that? because I have an inkling that you'll get me in trouble yet again, if you don't learn that your actions have consequences" he was so serious, more then usual, while speaking that you couldn't even try to trick yourself into thinking he was bluffing.

"I would never do anything to get you in trouble.. Not- not on purpose" you spoke hesitantly, not trusting your words at all, "really?" He mocked with raised eyebrows, "if you're really that devoted to me why don't you prove it?" He spoke in a bored tone, leaning back in his chair as he did so.

"how do I do that?" You questioned quickly, a subtle pout on your face, "I don't know" he retorted with a click of his tongue, "you tell me.."

As soon as the idea came to your brain your heart went racing, maybe you escalated things too quickly, dropping to your knees and scooting under the table to go towards Jonathan, when you peaked out of the table from in between his legs to make contact with his widened eyes, you tried not to smile, "I can pleasure you? To prove my devotion of course.."

"well that's certainly an idea.." As usual his tone was hard to read, he really was contemplating, he'd have to admit the sight of you between his legs batting your eyelashes at him was a pretty one, if that wasn't enough to make him uncomfortably hard you being in a straight jacket on top of that made it harder for him to refuse.

"get one chance and you become a bitch in heat.." His voice was so low that you almost didn't catch what he said and you almost wished you didn't, your cheeks heated up and you opened your mouth in protest but he quickly clasped a hand over your mouth, shutting you up.

"if we're going to do this I'm gonna need you to stay quiet okay?" He told you and you quickly nodded, "good, now get to work" he said dismissively before removing his hand and leaning back in his chair, unzipping his pants and pushing it down just enough that it'd be past his hips and you could see the outline of his cock through his boxers.

It seemed almost uncomfortable as the boxers seemed like they'd burst open any minute with how his cock was straining against them, your mouth was watering at the sight though you looked up at him in confusion when he made no move to take the boxers off.

He raised an eyebrow looking down at you, "what? I really need to spell it out for you?" His tone was so obviously condescending that you almost felt ashamed it was turning you on, "your hands may be useless but you still have a good set of teeth princess, use it"

So you did, craning up your neck to take the hem of his boxers between your teeth and slowly pull them down enough to release him from, you almost gasped at the sight of him, he was a little above average in length and girthy enough to make you question if you could fit him properly in your mouth.

You stuck your tongue out and licked a strip under it from the base till the tip of his cock, taking the head in your mouth, licking the pre-cum, his hand came up to take a fist full of your hair startling you, "speed up darling, I don't have all day" he told you in an unamused tone.

You swallowed him halfway and started bobbing your head, hollowing your cheeks in an effort to impress him, your body pressed up against his legs as you moaned around him.

All you got in response was a little groan, his grip on your hair tightened and he started pushing your head up and down at a faster pace, pushing you deeper each time, you looked up at him to see his flushed face and pretty blue eyes roll to the back of his head as he cursed under his breathe.

The sight sent waves of pleasure to your core and made you uncomfortably wet, "that's it princess, put your pretty mouth to good use" he muttered under his breathe as his thrusts became faster and more desperate.

Suddenly he pushed you all the way down and you eyes widened from surprise, gagging around him for a moment as you tried to adjust to the foreign breaching of your throat, your nose pushed into his trimmed hair as you whined, looking up at him through watering eyes, he let out a soft with at the sight.

"oh don't cry darling.." He spoke with feign sympathy, "this is what you wanted right? To pleasure me?" He mocked as you whined once more, instinctively trying to pull back for air, he let you go after a few moments, only giving you a few seconds to breathe before pushing you down again.

He bobbed you at the same place, letting himself bask in the pleasure as you gagged and choked with each thrust, it went on for a bit before he completely pulled you off and up so he could see you properly, standing on your knees a line of spit was connected from the base of his cock to your lips.

He reveled in the sight of your flushed face with tears streaming down it, messy hair and chest heaving, "good.. You did good darling.." He said under his breath, patting your cheek a bit too harshly, "but you didn't cum doctor crane.." You responded quietly, a pout on your glossy lips.

"oh that's not for you to worry about" he responded dismissively before standing up and pulling you with him, making you whimper from the pressure on your scalp, he turned you around before shoving you on the table and you let out a squeak of surprise.

"what're you doing doctor crane?" You questioned quietly, even though you knew the answer specially when he reached for the hem of your trousers, you wanted him to tell you.

"m'gonna fuck you baby.. " his raspy voice responded while undressing your lower half as blood rushed towards your face, "you can see it as a reward for your hard work.."

You could feel the head of his cock rubbing on your cunt, you squirmed and pushed back against him with a whine, urging him on, he grabbed your hair yet again and pulled you up, bending your body uncomfortably as he leaned down, "stop being so desperate darling, it's not a good color on you.."

Before you even had time to process it he pushed almost all the way in and your jaw dropped as a loud moan escaped you, his grip on your hair tightened as your expression contorted from the pain and pleasure of it all, eyes fluttering shut.

"fuck, I knew you'd have a tight little cunt from the moment I saw you" he breathed out, staying still for the moment to let the both of you adjust before pulling all the way out till the tip and then thrusting in again, repeating the process as loud moans escaped you.

"thought I told you to stay quiet earlier.." He muttered before letting your hair go and untying his tie, "but that's just how you bitches are huh? Get a good cock in you and you lose all control of yourself" you whined in protest but not for long before he gagged you with his tie and tied it behind your head.

He held your hips up as his thrusts soon resumed, letting you lay limp on the rocking table, squirming and mewling as he chased his own release, he reached a hand down to start rubbing at your clit with enough pressure to make you see stars and clench tightly around his dick, making him release a loud groan.

"pussy so tight she's fuckin chocking me.." He turned you around, deciding he wanted to see your face while you both came, see your eyes rolling to the back of your head as your legs shook from the pleasure, he didn't falter in his thrusts while you came, not caring if he was over stimulating you and more focused on his release.

Even though your head felt blank and too foggy to form a coherent thought you could feel him twitching inside you and wrapped your legs tightly around his waist, making sure he came deep inside you.

Once her came off his high he quickly pulled out, "fuck, what did you do.." He panted out, raising one of your legs up to get a good look of his come dripping out of your hole and down your ass.

"now why would you do that?" He questioned; knowing you weren't allowed to or were on birth control, rising up and removing your makeshift gag, as soon as he did you craned up to kiss his stiff form.

"I love you Jonathan" you told him after pulling away with a smile, not bothering to answer his 'silly' question, all while he stayed a bit frozen, now realizing that he'd gotten himself into major shit.

[reidsc0nverse]

pov: your instagram when dating spencer reid

inspired by @parkersbliss (theirs is so cute i love it go check it out)

Liked by Kristy_Simmons, derekm and 173 others

(y/n) "i think they make me look cool" -the biggest nerd of all time

View all 17 comments

spencerreid1 Firstly, I'm not THAT big of a nerd. Secondly, they do and I stand by that.

-> (y/n) ofc you do baby but i can't lie to you and say i'm wrong

-> derekm Anything you say pretty boy

-> emilyprenty spencer stop typing like an english teacher

-> (y/n) @/emilyprenty AHAHAHAHAHHA

-> spencerreid1 @/(y/n) :(

paparossi are those mine???

-> (y/n) no....

-> spencerreid1 y/n did it

-> (y/n) @/spencerreid1 WTH SNITCH

Liked by princesspennyg, alexblake, and 203 others

(y/n) Penelope's Halloween party got lit asf ‼️

View all 25 comments

princesspennyg seems like i was successful in my goal of getting boy wonder drunk 😌

-> (y/n) yeah thanks for that

-> spencerreid1 That was your GOAL?!

-> princesspennyg you have a serious stick up your butt sometimes 🙄

-> (y/n) tell me about it

AaronHotchner I'm so glad Jack wasn't around to see this

-> jjareau Don't worry there was a kiddy table for the boys so he could've come 🤷🏼‍♀️

-> princesspennyg i always think ahead 😇

-> (y/n) We're all great babysitters

-> AaronHotchner Not when you're all intoxicated

Liked by jjareau, paparossi and 193 others

(y/n) He bought me a pair so we could match 🤭

View all 13 comments

spencerreid1 It's only fair 🤷

-> (y/n) 🤍

derekm You guys are such dorks it's sickening

-> emilyprenty says the married man

-> (y/n) do i need to tag Sav??

-> paparossi the drama

-> derekm I take it back 🙄

emilyprenty that's cute and all but WHAT KIND OF SOCK IS HE WEARING

-> spencerreid1 They're stylish, Emily, leave me alone.

-> princesspennyg yknow i gave those to him 🥳

-> emilyprenty @/princesspennyg in that case then theyre great (i'm lying)

-> (y/n) it doesn't take a profiler to figure that out -> spencerreid1 You all suck.

Liked by dr.taralewis, elle.greenaslay and 231 others

(y/n) the loml (plus spencer)

View all 21 comments

emilyprenty i miss you sugarplum 😔

-> (y/n) @/emilyprenty i miss you more pookie bear 😪

-> spencerreid1 ???

-> jjareau how romantic

-> AaronHotchner Don't make me get PDA in here

-> spencerreid1 ⁉️⁉️⁉️

-> emilyprenty i took your bitch hoe

paparossi LOL

-> (y/n) thank you for your blessing

-> paparossi anytime

Okay that's it this is my first post sorry if it was bad lol but seriously go check out @/parkersbliss one it was so cute omg

[ihrtslabyul]

Laughing jack fluff headcanons that nobody asked for ♡⁠˖⁠꒰⁠ᵕ⁠༚⁠ᵕ⁠⑅⁠꒱

- will be there with you 24/7 ,this man's clingy asf due to his abandonment issues :(

- WILL take you out on amusement and carnival dates :3

- if u play with his hair he will literally melt

- please laugh at his jokes.

- since he's a clown he will teach different tricks and stuff!

- also if try clown makeup and match with him he will marry you right one the spot

- since he's much taller than you,he will tease you ALOT and make jokes about it,pls don't take it seriously:(

- give.this.stinky.man.a.bath.please.

- pls go easy on him because at the start of the relationship because he doesn't know what boundaries are and will be in contact with you 24/7

I love my clown husband sm

[tomatopers]

biggest peeves with genshin x reader fics

I'm going to preface this by saying you can write whoever you want however you want and no one is gonna stop you; heck, it likely won't even affect your likes and stuff. These are my personal peeves stemming from character portrayal <3 Characters A-D

Albedo ;; He isn't very heavily emotive; He is shown to approach almost everything from a logical/analytic standpoint!! My guy expressed concern with the most nonchalant voice, so he clearly does care, just not in an expressive/passionate way

Alhaitham ;; Similar to Albedo, but slightly more expressive! He clearly has things/people that he values, and his own ways of showing care differ from societal norms, which is why he comes across as cold and indifferent!! Even the vulnerability that comes slowly with trust isn't immediately obvious, but this is definitely something that's interesting to explore in works⎯ Would he change the way he feels comfortable expressing himself into something else for you? Would you want him to?

Aloy ;; fuck what genshin did to my girl im skipping aloy

Amber ;; One of her main personality traits is the lack of deliberation!! Even with people she really cares about and loves!! Overthinking? We don't know them

Itto ;; Let bro be silly. Let bro make mistakes. Let bro have no idea what he's doing, but know he's giving it his all no matter what⎯ This is the Arataki Way.

Arlecchino ;; Gonna be honest I know jack shit about her but everything I read sounds hot <3 I do think she isn't the type to get frazzled/embarrassed but boy oh boy you can try

Baizhu ;; bffr he would NOT let you neglect your health like... Look at the man 🤨 I don't think he's the yelling type either?? Like he'll stand up for you obviously, but wouldn't start a fight imo; He got them dangerous snake eyes and scary words fr

Barbara ;; idk i don't read minor x reader things + i don't think i've ever seen a barbara x reader ever 💀 I do think she'd be patient and caring to the point where doing anything bad would make you feel guilty asf :/ not even in a romantic way, just like⎯anything. The kind persona isn't actually an act, she's in a role where she cannot be seen as anything else but it isn't hard to be kind as she would act that way, idol or not. More of a character thought, not a fic peeve </3

Beidou ;; She would start fights for you and she'd win, we all know this. I do think that many fics don't explore her emotions to a deeper extent, like motives and such? I think there's a lot of flexibility in that, and many avenues to explore! Not a peeve either, just a thought.

Bennett ;; Minor again(?), I don't read Bennett fics aha 😭 Grasping at straws here, with such a brave face shown to everyone, taking it off to share the sadder stuff sounds hard

Candace ;; Dunno much either 💀 Nor do I see any fics about her...

Charlotte ;; Would she love and cherish you? Yes. Would she leave her job for you? No. Would she feel bad about always being busy chasing headlines? Yes! Would she only really do well with a partner who supports her career and aspirations? Yes!

Chevreuse ;; Sorry guys I don't even know her 😭

Chiori ;; Would also start fights for you, would also win; Clearly takes no shit, I imagine certain compromises would take a while to reach? Canonically fairly headstrong, I doubt she'd be a pushover with an s/o

Chongyun ;; Minor 🧍

Clorinde ;; Her showing vulnerability with you definitely means a LOT. Beyond her career and the things she does for it, I just know there's so much going on in her head :( Let my girl share, give her a safe space, be patient to eventually emotionally connect

Collei ;; Minor 🤨

Cyno ;; He does not seem like the dominant/aggressive/pushy type :( I bet there's complicated feelings between the way he acts as a General and the way he acts with a lover⎯undeniably would never want you to be scared of him. Teasing type, likely nothing worse.

Dehya ;; I haven't seen her done dirty, so I'm pretty content

Diluc ;; High-functioning man, having dealt with varying stressors over so many years I doubt anything could interrupt his work flow⎯having said that, yes that means issues with a relationship making him struggle to work would mean more; Yes, i still believe that's highly unlikely

Diona ;; No.

Dori ;; No. Also, I hate her.

[hendrixthepolitesnake]

Hey pookies 🤭

(Hey y'all sorry I've been gone for a while I already the been in highschool this shit sucks already 🧍🏾‍♂️ but anyway I'll give y'all a lil headcanon eheh 🧍🏿‍♂️)

Warnings: kinks ,dom poc reader overall sexual shit if you are a Minor or sensitive to shit like this please leave with that enjoy

How the hashira react to their s/o with big veiny hands

Giyuu: To be honest with you giyuu is definitely sensitive to the touch so I bet if you touch him on any place of his body with your veiny hands he's going to melt and most likely beg to be touched more because come on on y'all can't tell me giyuu pale ass wouldn't get turned On Might even get him a little wet too

Shinobu: While she may be small and petite this women will demand you touch her with those veiny hands of yours , I feel like she'd be the type to run her fingers down your veins and secretly fantasize how good they'd feel inside her, when I say she is a freak she is a freak that elegant and soft smile is a damn cover up

Misturi: She's such a sweetheart but she loves it when you caress her it's like a reward for her , she doesn't mind if you grope her, rub her down it doesn't matter she likes anything you give her especially how it gets her hormones going wild she may be bubbly but this girl definitely likes it when ya get her moist fr and call her a good girl while your at it makes it 10x better

Obanai: This mf is a brat I swear he's too damn short to be acting like a bitch when you try to touch him he acts all rude and bitchy but as soon as you give that ass a nice hard slap and he can feel the sheer veins and strength coming from your hands he is folding immediately, legs gon be wide open and all like he's ready for you he definitely pisses off on purpose so you can angerly fuck him while choking him

Rengoku: You thought tengen was a freak man rengoku is a no shame freak you could be minding your business doing nothing at all then here comes this ray of sunshine comes in and obediently asks if he could ride or even suck on your fingers due to how big and veiny they are like I definitely see him using your hand to jerk himself off while you sleep

Tengen: Not only does his wives love your fingers but he does too he is one cocky beat though he'd taunt you or talk about how your fingers could never make him cum or fold as big as he is he sure is a loud one as soon as you make him ride your fingers he's begging you to go faster or it's too much for him, that he can't take it but then proceeds to ask for more

Sanemi: This hot- headed bastard is something else he acts tough and tries to be dominant just because he thinks being a sub is for the weak but has the audacity to suck on your fingers like the whore he is as you aggressively jack him off to teach him a lesson and he'd let you do it too, he likes it when you trace or rub his scars as well

Gyomei: Wow you must be bigger than him because he's big ASF he has veiny hands himself but yours just hit different he may not be able to see you, but sure as hell can feel you, holding his hips as he cock warms you, your hands slightly rubbing his ass or making him get your fingers moist so you can finger his tight hole yeah definitely a submissive dilf in my opinion.

(Hey guys I'm still alive I completely forgot about this so as an apology I made this 😭✋🏾 don't beat my ass ok)

[kimulus0check]

Butch! TEC Headcanons

Pete- Pearl

•I can either see her with the same shaved buzz cut or the most greasy oiliest chopped hair. No in between.

•Her older brothers are a mix of supportive where it’s her life and they don’t really gaf and a little bit of hesitation cause of family tradition and they don’t know how their parents will take it.

•her mother is understanding and still loves her. Her dad hates her style, thinking it’s some weird phase like her monsters and horror movies.

•wears binders and wife beaters if she not wearing baggy clothes. Her binders smell like dog water and body odor.

•she is no better than a man. Will have a hand on you in public, at home, at her house, at your house.

Jerry-Jenny

•showers regularly but just recycles the same three outfits. Has worn the same shirt for a week to bed cause she doesn’t see what the big deal was.

•can have the same haircut as Jerry or have a mix haircut between he-man and shera.

•can be feminine at times. I see her as a stem if anything. Can switch from butch to fem.

•not as openly perverted as the other three but still perverted. Has stolen panties from your room and used it to jack off.

•if you cosplay or dress up for renfair with her she is exctatic but also drenched the whole time. If you go to the tavern wench and try and down a beer, whether you down the whole thing or not she WANTS you.

•religious catholic household. And ASD woman who is also gay. It’s messy.

Josh-Jane

•still rocks an oily ass ponytail, not afraid to show her hairline to the world.

•her parents don’t know how to take it. Being Jewish then also being gay her father is disappointed but her mother is more worried of her safety. Her mother thinks she’s making herself a target for being harassed and knows she gets bullied by her weight already.

•since Jane doesn’t have a fragile masculinity but now fragile femininity she is more into girl neiches while also liking startrek and starwars. My little pony and monsterhigh dolls into the mix. (Her and pearl fein over monsterhigh)

•the lolcow of the group. Like if you treat her nicely she would be so suspicious and paranoid cause the club treats her like ass.

•she curly hair that would make the gods cry but she never fucking showers so you’ll never see it unless she’s forced to shower by her mom.

•collects perfumes from franchises to have the full collectors set but would smell like ass.

Bill-Beth

•she’s just Bill Dickey but with a shag cut.

•femcel who has definitely said “I’m not like other girls.” And has spat the eyes of makeup and lipstick brands.

•thinks men are scum of the earth but would treat a woman just a man would. Double standard asf too.

•says her strap game is unmeasurable but gets winded and tired after two minutes then you just ride her while she catches her breath while trying to talk dirty. “Yeah..just wait till I’m on top of you.. you dirty slut..” gasping for air each sentence.

•wears push up bras under graphic shirts and flannels. Icon shit

•a brat. If she doesn’t pipe on about how much of a top she is, she’s trying to prove it to the other club members as some social status.

[bouquetface]

PAC: What’s the tea on him/her?

Keep in mind: Not every pac you come across will be for you. Take it as entertainment.

Photos are completely random have nothing to do w the content.

1-2

1.

THINGS THAT MAY BE SIGNIFICANT: CAP. AQUA. JACK HARLOW - AMBITIOUS.

This person is well known. They could be a social person. They could have a big following. It seems this person has reluctantly left a situation.

They felt you or this situation showed little effort or interest. Potentially, you work with them or they’ve decided to focus on work. They may have communicated this to you like “I’m focused on school/work right now” “I’m really busy right now” “I can’t right now”.

Yet, there is a 3rd person involved here. I’m not saying they’re a complete liar. They are focused on materialistic matters over relationships right now. That doesn’t mean they aren’t casually flirting/entertaining other options. This person could be attractive or social n flirty asf. It may come as no surprise they have other options. Whether this person is a man or woman, they have a female friend.

I’m unsure what your connection is to this person. It seems you have little to no contact with them right now. As I said earlier, this reading began with an ending type of energy. Someone cut ties with a friend or lover. They could have left a job and not a relationship too. They felt it showed little or no room for advancement.

They’ve ended something and now they’ve moved forward. Sorry pile 1 idk what you were expecting but I’m not picking up any serious tea/gossip.

You could be asking about a crush. If this is the case, they’ve left a relationship or job. Now, casually opening themselves up to new people.

If you’re asking about an ex friend or lover, they’re moving on. This where I strongly feel they’re getting close with a female friend. Regardless of your person’s gender, they are hanging out with this woman. She seems signifiant so I thought I’d mention her. This likely means something to someone specific.

Also, I keep getting the thought that a lot of you are thinking about a famous person. One of you or many of you are thinking about a celeb crush for this reading. If this is the case, they’ve ended a project or relationship. They’re fine and just living their life.

2.

THINGS THAT MAY BE SIGNIFICANT:

SCORPIO. LEO. PLAYBOI CARTI (i have only 4 songs of his in my Liked Songs. all 4 played on shuffle during this pile).

This person is currently very inconsistent in their moods. They go in and out of people’s lives. Very inconsiderate of other people’s time and energy.

“They’re too old to be acting this way” - The tea on this person is they’re immature. People are fed up with them. Coworkers, friends, family, love interests.

It could be due to external factors. School or work has put a lot of stress on them. For someone specific, this person could even be dealing with something very serious. A pet or friend could have died. As a result, they’re in chaotic energy right now. Sometimes they’re feeling fine, other times they’re wanting to disappear.

They are not someone who is being open with their feelings. As a result, other people are giving them a lot of shit. People don’t know what’s going on with them. They’re getting to a point where they don’t even care.

“[Person’s name] never gives a shit about anybody else’s feelings, why should I give a shit about theirs?” - This is the kind of thoughts people are having about this person.

I want to give them the benefit of the doubt. It seems they could be going through something and have potential to do better. But it seems their recent actions have disappointed/irritated those around them.

They could possibly be cancelling plans all the time. Never showing up or showing up very late. If this is work related, it’s likely they’ve been given a warning. If it’s friend related, seems their own friends just don’t want to invite this person out anymore. What’s the point they never show up anyways?

They’re also very secretive. They may lying to some people. They could have literally stolen something. Once again, this person is being very inconsiderate and selfish. They aren’t focused on anybody but themselves. But with all this self sabotage behaviour, they’re barely taking care of themselves. If they’ve cut you out, know you’re likely not the only one who got cut out. That’s the tea on them.

[toysrguts]

smiling friends headcanons!! :D

i have smiling friends brainrot

allan:

•wine is his de-stresser. after a long shift he likes to go home and sip on a glass of wine while watching shit TV like some kind of cool guy

•doesn't smoke cigarettes often but will bum one off of charlie sometimes during their breaks

•bites people he loves :)

•perhaps his dr. monsters appointment with dr. monster was an appointment to assess him for OCD

•very very particular about the way he likes things and hates unexpected change in his routine

•also a math god he's like a walking calculator

•always helping other people reach things that they cant

•he has to be like 6’3 or something probably

•autism be damned my boy can work a grill (he can cook really well)

•in fact hes often the one cooking meals for the other smiling friends

•he also lovessss to garden its one of his favorite hobbies

•he grows his own vegetables to cook with and flowers to decorate his home :)

•i feel like this man would get down to some queen or duran duran

•he’ll listen to pretty much anything but i feel like he would gravitate towards 80s classics

•used to own a car that he loved but it broke down and he never bought another one

•went to school for engineering and started volunteering at smiling friends after graduating as kind of a placeholder job, but loved it so much it became his full time job

•cheese is his safe food

•had to wear glasses when he was younger but felt like they deterred the ladies so he switched to wearing contacts

•probably drinks black coffee like a fucking freak

•either that or he adds oat milk

•hes pretty anxious and freaks out a lot and will also snap if he has sensory overload

•wears noise canceling headphones a lot cause too much noise drives him insane

•HATES fabric touching his skin but will still wear a tie cause “it’s classy” and will wear clothes if hes out in public

•once took a trip to france and almost didnt come back cuz it was like cheese heaven

•goes clubbing during some of his nights off and is a karaoke GOD

•also goated at chess and gets heated during a game of scrabble

charlie:

•definitely sneaks a cart into work every day

•if allan didn’t cook this dude would go into debt from ordering takeout every day

•was raised mostly by his uncle cause his parents werent always around, and they're more like really good friends now that hes older

•grew up poor and had a pretty hard childhood overall but he doesn't dwell on it too much

•relieves his stress and frustration by terrorizing people in fortnite lobbies

•the smiling friends hq is air conditioned 24/7 per his request, he's heat sensitive and sweats EXCESSIVELY

•uses axe body spray to mask the stench

•his living conditions are depressing to look at, the only furniture in his apartment is a mattress and an old camping chair he borrowed from his uncle years ago

•also probably owns a shelf dedicated to lego builds

•he spends like 90% of his time in his bed if not working

•his morning routine consists of waking up disoriented asf, throwing on some clothes laying on the floor, forgetting to brush his teeth and walking out the door

•was exposed to shock sites wayyy too young

•acted out and got in trouble a lot in his adolescence but now just likes to keep to himself for the most part

•believe it or not he was baptized as a baby

•started caring about life a little more ever since experiencing hell

•feel like he likes music his uncle showed him as a kid, maybe judas priest and whitesnake type shit

•doesn’t even have to say anything when he goes to salty’s cause hes a regular and they know his exact order

•thats a bisexual man if ive ever seen one

•the hat hides his receding hairline lul

•has a fat ass surgical scar on his nose from when james ripped it off

•wears the same beat up white adidas shoes and got in highschool

•owns one of those “dubstep, weed and jacking off” shirts

•hes an only child but pim is like a brother to him

•had a family dog growing up and is a dog person overall

pim:

•begs to play roblox when anyone else is playing video games in the office

•curls up into a ball when he sleeps

•also will freak out without a night light

•his room is definitely littered with stuffed animals

•grew up watching mlp (g1) and probably still owns some pony figures

•and says “hello everypony!!” when entering a room

•played a LOT of browser and flash games as a youngster like club penguin and moviestar planet

•genuinely finds beauty in everything i wish i was on his level of joy and whimsey

•would totally listen to vocaloid and would totally go on a super long tangent about how its so cool and holograms are so cool

•also has a collection of light sticks and miku plushies and definitely kisses his miku poster goodnight

•i feel like he ate paint chips as a child

•craves social interaction cuz his parents had a rocky marriage and were neglectful and his sister treated him like shit when they were kids

•his sister would tug on his nerve ending when she got annoyed

•having a rough upbringing and dysfunctional family is what pushed him to start working for smiling friends, hes genuinely passionate about making people smile and just wants to help people who are in bad situations like he was

•prone to panic attacks :(

•sings little songs to calm himself down

•flails his arms or jumps around when hes excited

•still uses pool floaties when swimming lmao

•also still loves to dress up and play pretend as an adult

•mmmmm loves sweets what is a nutritious meal?????

•wore glasses growing up but just kind of stopped for some reason probably cuz his eyes are fucking massive

glep:

•chronic cyberbully-er

•tells people to kts in his gibberish language when they annoy him

•has most likely caused several wars across the globe

•puts whatever he wants on the tv and then hides the remote and watches everyone fight over who took it

•small but lets out the most diabolical burps imaginable

•is fluent in every single language on earth and probably space too

•absolutely brainrotted from that ipad he wont stop watching skibidi toilet

•unties peoples shoes when theyre not paying attention

•little guy has never known sobriety in his life

•has so many random ass pictures and videos saved on his tablet

•hes like a little vlogger

•if someone says or does something he doesnt like he’ll probably hire a hitman on them

•definitely has access to the deep web

•hates gardening but will help allan out with it once in a while for something in return (like a grilled cheese or some weed or something)

•also will sit next to allan while hes cooking so he can eat all the scraps

[txttabloid]

What are all your headcanon memory hopping forms?

I am glad you asked I am shaking violently with excitement.

Canon characters:

Uzi-Hooded Crow

Simple as it’s the one that looks the most like her plush/show form

N-Golden Retriever

Do I even need to explain

V-Serval

I feel she is more than just a regular domestic cat, a serval because of her long legs. The stripes on their back kinda look like DD markings especially around the legs. Also yellow

J-Goat

Mainly because I saw this one furry pic on Twitter that had her as a goat and it’d been canon to me ever since, also most people draw the F DD legs as hooves so perfect. I specifically give her a bell because it’s reminds me of the hc she’s always fidgeting or clicking a pen so the bell gives that fidget. Also for her little form being a lamb is very symbolic with the fact she follows the solver blindly and is ultimately lead to a slaughter for her loyalty. Also the action of goats head butting people is funny and J head butting people would be funny.

Cyn-Maned Wolf

Since maned wolves are like their own thing I thought it would be fitting to make her something that is mistaken for literally everything but itself, to show the trickery. Some people think they are kinda scary for their long limbs and look kind of uncanny, so perfect. Also with her being a predator that could easily hunt the main three/four.

Tessa-Jack russel

Super cute dogs who are kinda small and have a lot to say also sorts nippy so just like Tessa!

Nori-Raven

Big crow version

Yeva-Death Head moth

I wanted her to match her daughter, and the fact an image of a serval having a moth in its mouth is really cool.

Alice-White tailed deer

Do I even need to explain

Beau-leucistic white tailed dear fawn

Little guy. He so Bambi coded

Khan-Giant tortoise

This man is leathery in spirit don’t tell me he’s not, also Tortoise yknow all about shelter DOORS!. You see where I am going, if I could go back he could be fish but I am to far gone with the tortoise.

Teacher-Leopard Gecko

Probably would be eaten by a bird and sorts fly on the wall observer animal

Lizzy- Albino Domestic Bunny

I had this idea to make Lizzy have albinism for my WACA au so I could give her pink eyes and it has infected my whole hcs of her. Also Vizzy is very Bunny x Cat both think they’re in control here.

Thad-Hare

Big version of bun and siblings so perfect

Doll-death head moth

Cool asf moth also death absolutely Doll, plus it’s dark like her hair. I have the skull pattern is the replaced with a solver pattern because cool

Sam-sphynx cat

Bald!

Intern Mitchell/Doll’s dad-Maincoon

Specifically a all black one all human memory hopping forms are pure black to match the shadowy feel

[0neir0z]

yeah i'll probably still use tik tok, but Even less than i did when i stopped posting media takes and general fandom content on there a while ago (it houses my drag and cosplay content primarily)... but as a commemoration to 15/16 year old nic, formerly hannibastardlecter, here's an update to one of my favorite stupid headcanon posts.

what the nbc hannibal characters are getting cancelled on twt for

will: he doesn't have twitter but this was a coup staged by his students: complaints about how he never grades anything on time, animal neglect, running away with a man instead of finishing out the semester. other people get on this train and it's for being an ex cop and also a fed.

hannibal: always getting into random fights on that damn ipad of his about anything really, unhelpful mental health threads, yapping too damn much, BUT nothing about the serial murder and the cannibalism because twt users rarely focus on the important

alana: ngl i cooked with this one the first time and it's for being a moderate democrat who Still thinks it's okay to reach across the aisle and be friends regardless of politics, calling her relationship with margot lesbian even though she is bisexual

freddie: are you joking it's literally everything you could ever imagine someone getting nuked on that website for, she doxxes and gets doxxed daily, it's where you can find the colostomy bag pic

abigail: the vegans got to her, never escaping the "what if she's like her dad" allegations, swiftie

bedelia: she is too grown to be on twitter but probably supporting applied behavioral analysis therapy and lowk being a terf (idk who i was when i had this take the first time but it is Correct)

jack: does not have twitter. probably just general hatred bc he is above all a fed.

bev: nothing honestly. probably just posts innocuous life updates and pictures with unmistakably gen x hashtags. a little funny.

price: being an old gay with old gay takes. fbi drag race era carson kressley.

zeller: i just Know that man was weird asf on there when he was in college in its inception

franklyn: Being So So Weird About Real People (hannibal), idk if twt has a cheese community on there but i bet they hate his ass also

not included in the original but matthew brown is a fucking FREAK on that website and so is chilton.

original if you even care: