#MY HOT TAKE::::::: THE DOWNFALL OF THE SHOW HAHAHA

[baylardian-1]

end of Blood Fever be like

[weirdthinkingdragon]

Dragons’ Biggest Treasure

Yandere dragon shifter erasermic x reader

Fantasy AU

Here’s a long one for you guys! (10k) FINALLY WROTE A FIC AGAIN! YAY!(hahaha I’m so exhausted)

Warnings: Swearing, graphic fights and scenes, multiple character deaths (not EraserMic or reader), harm towards reader (again, not by EraserMic. Well, mostly), burn mentions (with dragons it’s gonna happen), and a handful of times about eardrums bursting (the harm towards reader by EraserMic). As well as dragon abuse. This does have much darker stuff than I usually write. Also a slow start for the yandere stuff. Pretty happy with the details in it. Hope you guys like it!

dragonerasermicdragonerasermicdragonerasermicdragon- *gets smacked*

These two as yandere dragons will now forever rot in my head. Hng, why have I not thought of it sooner!? Just THINKING of them as yandere dragons makes brain go brrr. Obviously going to write them as yandere dragon shifters again at some point. More than once too.

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I’m close to the entrance gates to the kingdom ruled by a man that calls himself All For One. No one knows his real name. He’s a sick bastard that no one wants to be around, but no one can do anything since he’s a lot smarter than he looks with that damn mask over his head. My job by him is to heal dragons after their fights he forces them into, like the most recent one who is incredibly injured in front of me. He likes them by the entrance to torture them with the taste of freedom they will never get from the enchanted chains wrapped all over them. 

While using my natural healing abilities that are actually a pretty rare thing, there is a commotion over towards the gates. The large metal doors open to reveal many men on horses and even a few on their feet holding ropes, pulling something large behind them. I sadly already know what’s being brought in. A saddened sigh escapes me at the sight of two new dragons that are heavily wounded being dragged in through the gates at the end of the ropes. More dragons that are bound to reach their unfortunate fate until they die. 

Looking a bit closer, there are arrows sticking out of the two of them, and blood trailing on the ground. Both of their bodies are black, but one has everything black but a grey underbelly. Instead of spines, it has a feather-like long mane that is also black. The skin on their wings matches the grey of their underbelly. It’s impossible to know the eye color since they’re asleep for the moment. 

The other quite possibly has the largest yellow spines I have ever seen. The same with his horns, they’re curved upwards at a slight angle. Their underbelly, as well as their wings match the color of the spines and horns. There are odd scales around their eyes with orange closer to the center, and a white outer rim, almost like it’s wearing sunglasses. 

The dragon I was tending to just curls itself as much as it can away from me after healing it a small amount. I was ordered to only heal them enough for their wounds to not need stitching so they will still be rather weak to even try escaping. Why he would need enchanted chains then I have absolutely no clue. He takes a sick pleasure in his favorite dragons having such an advantage in the arena. 

I lock eyes with Masura who gives me a giant sadistic smile in return. He enjoys hurting dragons way too much. A few have even ended up dying on the way here from wherever he and the others keep finding them. 

“Brought some fresh meat for you to take care of. These two put up an incredible fight. Can’t wait to see what they will do in the arena.” 

He and the others go to the line of chains near me and hook them all over the two dragons, including the specially created muzzle. Specially created by it having holes so they can dip their snout in the trough of water and get it in that way, and fire can’t get through. Feeding is still a bit of a problem though. Especially since I’m stuck being in charge of that as well. So many times being bitten or burned from having to remove it for that time. 

I gently rub the scarred burn on my right forearm from a problem with an incredibly feisty and almost explosive yellow dragon before. Miraculously, he was the first and only dragon to escape alive. Then again, it was the turn of a different caretaker that night who ended up sentenced to death for it. 

They quickly leave to let me tend to the injured duo. I sigh and quickly finish up the one in front of me with a rather large wound on its right hind leg. The bucket of healing water I enchanted helped the wound close up to a point. It can sadly easily be ripped open, which it obviously will tomorrow in its next fight. I would love nothing more than to be able to heal them better than I have to. There are serious consequences if it’s found out I did though. Emi was proof of that. Despite her joking personality, she really cared for the dragons. That was her downfall when a dragon was healed too much and almost overpowered one of All For One’s most prided dragons. Can’t remember which, but I’m pretty sure it was the female dragon named “Toga”. She- no. Don’t think about Emi’s final screams of pain. 

I scan over the two dragons to see who is worse off. By far it seems to be the black one with the mane instead of spines. The most concerning is the arrow that seems to be in one of its lungs. It’s going to die if I don’t do something. I don’t want it to die so soon. Well, I do, yet I don’t. Do just so they don’t have to suffer fighting in battles, but don’t since they have such a long life to live yet. I just wish they’d be able to really be free after being caught. 

Damn it, I might get into so much trouble for this… 

A bright green glow comes from my hands as I wrap one around the arrow and one on its underside right next to the arrow. A quick and firm tug is able to get it out. I quickly enhance my healing power further to fully heal this one wound. 

Not even a scar is left behind. Hopefully, they forgot the arrow was around there when they brought the dragons. I lean on the wall to steel my groundings from being exhausted from it. Ugh, it’s been too long since I’ve done that. My body is no longer used to my own powers. How sad. I’m the only one known for being born with such power. Emi was gifted it by enchantment by All For One. How he has the power to do that no one wants to know. We all just know he does, and he gets whatever he wants since no one can stop him. 

After collecting myself for a moment, I scan the rest of their injuries and find out both of them are male. The maned one has more slashes on him than arrows, but the other has an incredible amount of arrows. Luckily, none of them are in vital places though. 

The already reddened bucket shows it doesn’t have much more healing capabilities. I’m going to have to get a new one for healing. As long as it’s clear, the water covers the rag in a way it can close wounds. It’s an odd thing that somehow works and helps the healer keep more of their energy. 

I decide to leave for a minute and refill the bucket. After dumping out the blood water, I refill it from the rather clean river that runs through this place. Using my healing ability, I stick my hand in the fresh freezing water and stir it around to leave a green glow for a moment. It will quickly warm up in this rather hot weather. 

I go towards the two again to finish up their wounds. What surprises me is both have already woken up and are glaring at me greatly upon entrance. The maned one has the most piercing steel-white-like eyes I’ve ever seen. The other has bright green with an odd circle swirl in them I’ve never seen before. Have to say they almost seem a bit hypnotic. 

The wonder doesn’t last long though as the green-eyed one lets out a noise that greatly hurts my ears. With that sound and this close proximity, my eardrums more likely than not just burst with the severe pain that came with it. A few tears threaten to escape with a pain I’m not used to.

The mask wasn’t made for dragons with a sound ability! We’ve never had one of these! Why didn’t Masura warn me!? Or more importantly, how wasn’t he heard before being dragged here with how loud he is!?

With my hands instinctively on my ears to try preventing it from bursting my eardrums again though it would be useless, All For One enters right after. Out of nowhere he summons another enchanted chain that wraps around his snout, preventing him from doing the same… Screaming? Shouting? Whatever that ability is to be used again. 

He waits for a minute for me to heal my eardrums before attempting to speak to me. 

I nearly start shaking as his head turns towards the non-wound area on the maned one. Masura must have informed him or slipped up talking about it. 

Quick, I have to save my own skin! “I had to remove the arrow and fully heal it, otherwise it would have died from the arrow puncturing its lung, as you most likely knew already. I understand that’s no worry for you, but it would have been rather annoying if he died before being in even one fight to watch, right?” Oh please tell me that works! 

A dead silence looms for a second before All For One turns towards me and gives me a curt nod. I almost heaved a sigh of relief. Almost being the key word. I held it in to make sure it wouldn’t annoy him. Probably wouldn’t, but it’s safer to not take a chance. 

He creates another muzzle that’s more fitting for this dragon. He removes the chain around the snout and puts it on before he can get snapped at, or possibly screamed at? By said dragon. The belt part is wrapped rather tightly around his snout, making it look impossible for him to even move his jaw. At least the other has a bit of loose room for it to open ever so slightly so it doesn’t become stiff. That one is going to be a lot harder to take off for feeding them.

As if All For One could read my thoughts, which is terrifying to think, he glances at me. "You have a healing ability. If it screams with the muzzle removed, heal yourself. Don’t disappoint me." He then walks off. Probably to his dragons that he treats like gods to keep them loyal to him. Even one of them being obsessed with blood getting a human a week to feast upon. Usually, it’s prisoners that have tried to kill All For One or “dragon liberators” that caught wind of how he treats most of the dragons and tried to free them. Obviously with no succession. 

I let out the unknown breath being held. Man, he’s terrifying and can suffocate someone by just his presence alone. The maned one looked almost worried at the other one while he almost seemed to be panicking with the tight muzzle around his snout. Can’t blame him. Imagine being in something similar. I’d be scared too. 

His glance shifted from the still-panicking dragon towards me, glaring ten times worse than before. I sigh. “Don’t look at me like that. I don’t want you two to be here anymore than you do.” Can dragons even understand human speech? The explosive one that burned me before almost seemed like he did, but maybe it was just my imagination. The other turns towards me and tries to scream, or whatever it is again with no succession. Makes me wonder if he hasn’t had a similar experience somehow in the past. Ugh, thinking of that just makes me feel worse. Finally free only to be dragged back to somewhere that will probably be worse. 

Saying “probably” because there are no branding marks or dents in their wrists from ropes that are usually on dragons from other places.

They’re probably already going to be fighting in the arena tomorrow. Thinking about that reminds me of how exhausted I am from healing the maned one. It’s going to be good for them to get names tomorrow in the arena. Already tired of trying to think of what to call them separately. 

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I was right. Miraculously, All For One wanted it to be the last fight of the day involving those two. He wants me to be there to take off the loud one’s muzzle for every fight now and in the future. Starting to hate my healing ability now. 

The chains are still wrapped around the two, and they’re led into different stalls for the arena. Of course, I was left alone with the loud one. Don’t know how that could POSSIBLY go wrong. Note the sarcasm. At least All For One was able to make it where the chains are held on the sturdy walls until he can let them leave. His sound should be plenty enough signal for All For One to release him. 

He looks at me as I reach up to take the muzzle off. He stays quiet for a moment once it’s off, moving his more than likely stiff jaw around. There’s already a slight dent around his snout and jaw. 

I shake my head disappointedly. “This is beyond fucking inhumane.” Leaving him waiting, my body goes towards the doors in front of him and opens them. They lead into the arena, which has a net high up in the air so dragons can’t fly away. Not like they could anyway with how fast All For One can summon chains to drag them to the ground. 

The peace wasn’t kept long though as he uses his ability again. The chains snapped free off of him and he immediately charged out into the arena, where the other already was. Wait, he’s having double dragon fights? That’s new. He’s never done that before. On the other side of the arena, The wounded one from yesterday and a very feisty solid white one were on the other side. The white one looked like it was too eager to try to kill. The two closer to me were more on edge and almost seem like they really don’t want to fight the other two. 

They didn’t get the chance to reject though as the white one immediately lunges towards them. They separate and dodge out of the way of it. It keeps snapping and blowing ice towards the maned one. He slams his front claws on the snout of it to prevent the ice from freezing him or the other. He screams at the ice dragon. It’s not as loud as it was when he yelled at me yesterday. 

It’s almost as if… They’re more humane? This doesn’t make sense. Dragons are usually down to fight to the death, even when not healed much. At least, that’s what seemed to be until these two. 

I look towards the other one who doesn’t seem to want to fight, but it knows as well as I this fight will go on until at least one dies. 

As the two new dragons kept easily dodging and not striking too hard back, the crowd watching are not too happy with the lack of injuries. Some booing, and others even attempting to throw their held items like food at the dragons. The loud one snaps and uses his ability towards the crowd, almost or possibly even louder than yesterday. At least that shut them up. 

I lean against the right door and snicker. “Serves them right.” For a quick second, the loud one turns his head towards me. There’s no way he could have heard me, right? Especially with that ability. Or maybe his body was born with being able to stand it? Super hearing yet super loud yelling doesn’t make sense to have though. Dragons are incredibly strange in the ways their bodies work. It’s also quite possible to just be thinking too much. 

Fuck it, don’t think too much about that. 

The wounded one from yesterday half-heartedly swipes at the maned one.  Even he seems to notice the odd behavior of the wounded dragon. Then again, three out of the four are acting a way I’ve never seen before. I look up towards the “throne” All For One has. He’s shaking his head and points towards the other side of the arena. The male with glasses sitting next to him nods and lifts one of the levers next to him. 

Oh no. Not already. 

Two familiar dragons exit the cell they were comfortably kept in. They’re not his top ones, but still get the job done in killing dragons when given the chance. He calls them Spinner and… I think the other was Moon something if remembered correctly. He’s not used as often as others, so his name isn’t exactly remembered. Calling him Moon is enough for me. 

The crowd goes wild for the two. They know things get messy when Moon gets let out because of his freakish weird teeth ability. And… How he eats parts of dragons he kills. 

In speaking of killing, immediately those two go for the kill. The wounded one didn’t stand a chance and had its neck snapped instantly by Spinner. Moon something lashes its teeth out and almost punctures the ice dragon. 

Just watching the moon one move is quite unnerving. He’s so insanely fast and agile. Still wondering why he’s basically bound in a way. Then again, he’s at least twice as unhinged as Toga. I fear how fast he might be if he wasn’t bound. 

In the blink of an eye, these two were much more defensive as the teeth blades went to strike them again. The ice dragon stopped going for them, and tries going after Moon Something. Ugh, what was that something? MoonFresh? No. MoonFlesh? I don’t think so. 

He makes his teeth curve like a hook and tries again towards the ice dragon. It dodges again. Wait, hook… Fishing… MoonFish! That’s what it was! 

I feel like slapping myself stupid for forgetting that. 

Spinner jumps onto the wall and tries to use that to sneak up on the loud one. It doesn’t work as he was focused on Spinner as soon as the two new ones entered. He moves out of the way and instead of screaming, screeches this time. It’s much higher and worse than any sound he’s made yet. The maned one doesn’t even flinch, but the other three definitely do. Spinner was right beside the loud one. He recoils in obvious pain and stands there shaking his head. 

It hurt my ears as well, but this time it didn’t make them burst, surprisingly. I don’t think the same could be said for Spinner. They have internal ears, so I’m not exactly sure if they burst, or whatever it is their species’ ears do. 

I look up to see All For One leaning a bit forward in his chair, now taking slight interest. Moonfish recovers incredibly quickly and lunges his teeth again. This time it punctures right through the ice dragon’s chest as they did a final ice breath. At the same time, a few land on the other two, causing some decently deep cuts. The ice breath freezes the rest of MoonFish’s body. 

The maned one wastes no time in swiping his tail towards the frozen body, shattering it upon impact. 

The crowd goes eerily quiet. Looking at All For One, he remains indifferent. It’s too hard to tell his emotions about what just happened. Spinner tries again to sneak behind the two and breathe his fire. The two seem so focused on the death of three dragons in one fight. Are they not used to it? 

They still haven’t noticed Spinner on the wall. At least I thought. The loud one instantly turns and rears onto his back legs and slams Spinner onto the ground with an almost punch-like move of his right talon. 

Before anything can be done, these two are chained again. The loud one being yanked off of Spinner, who instantly retreats back towards the open gate he came from. I’m honestly a little disappointed he wasn’t finished off as well. 

I sigh and go towards the stalls again, preparing to heal them. An already created healing bucket sitting in the same spot I used for them yesterday. 

It doesn’t take long for the two to be dragged in again by Masura and the bunch of… well, meatheads to say the least. I swear none of them even think half the time about anything. The two are definitely fighting and struggling with the men. 

The loud one goes to use his ability again. “Pipe down you overgrown lizard!” Masura punches the dragon in the jaw as hard as he can. It makes a sickening “crack” noise. 

The maned one gets pissed and starts snapping at him as well. The only reason I can think of why he’d do that is he knows the other one. Why didn’t I make the connection sooner? These two must know each other! 

Masura rolls his eye at them. So glad some good dragons before were able to take out one of his eyes. If only they could have taken out both. The chains get put where they were before, making the two unable to move much again. 

I’d put the muzzle on the loud one, but with his now broken or dislocated jaw it wouldn’t be the best and needs to be healed first. I can tell Masura is itching to punch one of them again. 

He stands there and smirks with his arms crossed as I dip the rag into the bucket. The loud one’s jaw is first. That’s now by far the most concerning injury. Looking a bit closer, it is definitely dislocated. I shake my head in disapproval at Masura while remaining eye contact with the dragon. It almost feels like he’s able to read me. “Did you seriously have to dislocate his jaw?” 

“Heh, the damn thing deserved it for trying to use their voice at me,” I roll my eyes at his comment. Of fucking course he’d try to use his ability. We kidnapped, or more like dragonnapped him and are forcing him to fight other dragons. I’d use anything I could too. “Not everyone has a goody-perfect healing thing like you either,” he continued. 

I shrug, then gently try to grab his lower jaw to try setting it back in place. “I’d just have to heal your sorry ass.” 

“Tch, my sorry ass? You’re the one who always seems to get all buddy-buddy with dragons. You heal them too gently. You’re the one with a sorry ass.” 

Cue my sarcastic mode. “Oh, I’m sorry for calling you a sorry ass. I must so clearly be the worst one since I’d rather not have dragons fight me all the time like you,” There was another sickening “crack” as its jaw was put back into place. The dragon hisses in obvious pain. I bring up the rag to the side of his jaw to try quickly relieving it. “Easy bud,” I try to whisper to make Masura not hear. Thankfully he didn’t seem to since he didn’t comment on it.  “We can’t all think with our muscles rather than with our brains. Nothing would get done right,” I continue, but this time out loud. The loud dragon lets out a snort. 

His footsteps go away, indicating he left. Probably upset. Good. I roll my eyes at him as I look over the dragon’s jaw. Good as new. Good thing about that is there’s not really any way to tell if I healed it all the way or not. Broken or dislocated bones are crazy enough easier and faster to heal than wounds. How that works with leaving the layer right under cut open and easily able to tear open again, but heals bone instantly is beyond me. 

Looking around and closing any other wounds, I then go to the maned one. He nips at me to try getting my hands away. It’s far more gentle and human-like than the others that have tried to bite me before. Almost like he’s telling me he doesn’t want to be healed by human hands. Understandable. 

… wait a minute. Bite, or opening jaw… I look towards the loud one and flinch, preparing for his voice. Of course I can heal, but it still hurts. My shoulders even tense upwards. It never comes. Looking at him, he still just looks at me. 

Well, now I’m in a dilemma. Do I put on the muzzle now, and possibly break this trust or whatever he seems to somehow already be giving me, or leave it off and possibly get yelled at later by him, or even someone coming in to see him without his muzzle? 

Ugh, I might regret this. Might as well risk it for now. I can just lie that it was forgotten to be put on if someone asks about it. Turning back to this one, I heal him anyways. He makes a slight hissing fuss but accepts it after a moment. After finishing, I leave to get them some raw meat to eat. Sadly, the biggest thing available is some moderately sized fish. They don’t seem like river or ocean dragons, so chunks of deer will have to do. It gets placed down not too far from them. They look at me warily for a bit. Maybe they don’t want me to watch them eat? It’s time for me to leave anyway. 

Ugh, but the muzzles… Hopefully, they’ll eat when I’m away for a bit. I have a stupid idea I’ve never done before. Sleeping beside the dragons. Walking out lets me give that a little more thought. At least one night to see how they do couldn’t hurt. But first, there is a need to talk to All For One about their names.

I enter the area he usually is with his prized dragons. Most are pretty indifferent to me, except for Toga who has tried to stab me more than once with her blade-like tail. 

I stand behind him awkwardly while he pats Spinner’s right shoulder. “They’re both… Interesting to say the least. A shame for Moonfish, but the ones tomorrow will be entertaining as well. Let’s see if they can handle Toga and Dabi.” Dread slightly seeps into me. He’s already making them face all his most dangerous ones? 

“What about their names if you decide to manipulate them after and keep them as pawns?” 

He shakes his head. “I have enough pawns. The audience has decided on Shatter for the loud one, and Lion for the other..” 

… What? “Lion?” 

“Must be the hair on it. I don’t name the things. The people do. The one thing they do have control over.” Which is beyond sad. Fucking tyrant. 

I nod in reply. “Sounds good.” After that, I leave before he could say or do anything else. The less around him the better, even if he hasn’t done anything negative towards me yet.  

Upon entering the same place again, they did eventually eat the meat while I was gone. That’s good. There’s an open area a bit to the left and away from the dragons. I plan on laying there for the night. It’s only to make sure no one comes in and sees them without their muzzles. No one but me knows a feeding schedule so it’s a good lie saying they were just fed. I’ve decided to think they can understand human speech, even if they don’t. They’re more pleasant to talk to than most people around. 

“All right you two, I normally don’t do this, but I’ll be sleeping in here a bit away from the both of you for a few nights. My back won’t appreciate it, but I sure hope you two do. It’s only because I’d rather not put those muzzles back on,” I look at the still slightly dented skin of Shatter. Damn, and that was only for like what? Half a day of him wearing it? “But if someone comes in, I will have to temporarily put them back on. Please don’t fight it too much.” 

Shatter tilts his head in an almost cute type of way. Well, that’s certainly unique. I go over to the corner and sit down against the wall. Leaning slightly back so my back fully touches it, and tilt my head up. My ass won’t be too happy tomorrow either. Maybe bringing my pillow for tomorrow night or something will help. 

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I am rudely woken up by something sharp stabbing my foot. Looking down, it’s a feisty Bombay kitten biting and clawing at it. Where did it come from? Another thing noticed is my body is now fully laying sideways on the ground. “Ouch! Hey there you little feisty thing.” I go to grab it, and it notices. It then takes off towards the dragons, making my heart sink thinking it’s about to become a tiny snack for one of them. Strange enough, neither do. Lion just looks at it in an almost caring way. Shatter looks at Lion in a way I can’t fully understand. 

Looking outside, the sun is just starting to fully show. That means in just a few hours the arena fights will begin again. Knowing All For One, he’s going to save these two for last again. Turning back to the two, Lion has one of his claws gently extended for the kitten to play with. That is once again extremely odd behavior for a dragon. Maybe everything known about them is wrong? 

“Be careful today. I was informed of who you two will be fighting. They’re much more dangerous than the other two yesterday. One has fire hot enough to burn scales off dragons. The other is agile and very good at injuring.” 

They just look at me. 

A few fights have already passed, and my anxiety increases for the two. I’ve already had to heal the other dragons that fought today. Except for the ones that died. Getting really tired of seeing so many die for no cause other than the sick entertainment of humans. 

The muzzles were already temporarily put back on the two. Shatter’s is rather loose, just to help him not freak out again, and he obviously doesn’t deserve something like that. Luckily once again, I’m the only one taking care of Shatter. He doesn’t scream at me as I quickly take it off. I risk it and pat his shoulder. “Good luck out there. You’re going to need it. He doesn’t bite me! Man, this is crazy.

Again, the gate opens and his chains come off of him. Lion bolts out of the stall next to us, and glares inside it, probably involving Masura. 

Straight to the chase, Toga and Dabi are released from their places. Dabi almost gets a grin on his face from his teeth being shown in what seems to be a smile. Or maybe even a sneer with how stuck up he seems to be. Toga immediately poises her sharp tail above her. 

It feels like everyone holds their breath for a second as the four stand still in the arena. Toga is the first to charge for Shatter. He immediately jumps out of the way, and tries to swing his tail towards her legs to make her fall off balance. She jumps over his tail and stabs it in the process. She then licks the blood off of the blade of her tail. 

Shit! I forgot to warn about her transformation! The one thing though it could still be easy to tell which is the real shatter from his ability, and he wouldn’t attack Lion. I don’t think All For One knows they care about each other. Wait… But if she fights Shatter in his form and Lion tries to help… Oh no. 

Dabi starts using his fire towards Lion. It slightly grazes him before he can get out of the way. He lets out a growl in slight pain as smoke comes from some of his scales. Shatter goes to use his ability at Dabi, but stops abruptly as Toga transforms into him. She goes to attack him again. She might remember his ability from listening and possibly watching yesterday. They’re able to watch for an even better chance at winning. 

She swings her claws at his throat, making him go to the defensive and try to back away. 

While that is going on, Lion is too busy being focused on Dabi’s fire, and constantly jumping from it. It gets to the point Lion is facing me, and the back of Dabi is visible. He glares at Dabi, and I see his eyes turn red. Why the FUCK are these two dragons so much stranger than most!? What is up with his eyes changing color!? Dabi goes to use his fire, but… It doesn’t come out? 

… !!! A cancellation ability!? 

Now that seems to catch the attention of everyone, especially All For One. He leans a bit forward in his chair. I can’t see Dabi’s face, but I bet it’s one of surprise judging by his tensed body. He freezes for a moment, giving Lion the chance to strike first. He’s able to manage a pretty deep slash onto Dabi’s side when he tries to move away. One quick glance shows Lion’s eyes are back to his steel or whitish color. He only manages another rather deep slash to Dabi’s shoulder. He tries to use his fire again, and succeeds. With the close range I worry that Lion was burned to a crisp immediately. 

He glares again to cancel the fire again before it can do serious damage to him. Ah, so there is a timer-like thing for it. He slams his tail into Dabi, knocking him towards his back. He’s able to manage another slash onto Dabi’s exposed stomach. It’s easy to tell Dabi is slightly panicking, not used to never being hit so much before. Probably the cancellation as well. 

Presumably Toga notices Dabi having a hard time, meanwhile, she’s giving Shatter a surprisingly hard time, and a lot of injuries. She charges towards him still as Shatter and manages to get a clean deep swipe to his right eye. My heart sinks to my stomach. 

Lion hardly gives it a chance though since he notices Dabi trying to get back up. He claws again at Dabi, striking his chest. There’s now a good pool of blood being trailed onto the ground from all Dabi’s wounds. Now that Shatter has a bit of freedom, he’s able to scream. Just like yesterday, it’s much more of a screech than a scream. Again like before, Dabi and Toga flinch in pain at the sound. It gives Lion the chance to injure the Shatter that attacked him, making the transformation wear off. 

Before anything else can be done, chain envelops the two again, allowing Dabi and Toga to get away freely. Of course the coward would do this when his precious pawns are losing. “Cheating bastard.” I mumble with obvious frustration. Shatter looks towards me again. 

That’s the least of my concern now though. Lion’s eye needs to be looked at ASAP. I go back to their stalls to prepare for their return. 

Again, it doesn’t take long. Neither are wearing muzzles, but Shatter doesn’t scream, possibly in fear of his jaw being dislocated again. Masura almost seems disappointed when he and the others drag them in. It was almost too much to wait for all of them to leave before rushing towards the two dragons, especially Lion.

When reaching up for his head, I almost yank it down to my eye level to see the damage to his eye. They almost seem surprised by my concern. Thankfully, his eye was missed, just barely. My foot nervously taps onto the ground for a second while in thought. It’s still a really deep wound, but fully healing it would raise suspicion, and All For One already isn’t too happy with these two defeating so many of his favorites. Not many have been able to beat Dabi and Toga. My hand gets its familiar glow and comes into contact with the wound. I don’t heal it all the way. There’s a giant scar left instead. They gave me a look. “I’m sorry. I really badly want to heal it fully, but I don’t want to die by healing you guys too much like the last person did,” I look towards the burned scales as well. “Those can’t be fully healed either. Some reason my healing doesn’t really work on burns.” 

Their eyes almost seem to widen. 

Shatter looks towards the entrance instead a moment later and hisses. I rush for the muzzles. Obviously, they’re really resilient to them being put on. 

I get Shatter’s on just in time for All For One to enter. He goes right up to Lion. “A canceling ability. Simply magnificent. I wonder, how many can he cancel at once? Guess tomorrow we will see,” He almost seems to glare at Shatter. “Although I do not trust that one to not get in the way. Tomorrow will be just Lion, or now given the name Suppress.”

He goes to touch the now named “Suppress”, but he smacks his head against All For One’s hand, making him pull it away. “Ah, still got good fight as well. Good. Tomorrow will be interesting.”

“Uh, S-sir? If I may ask, what is your plan for him tomorrow?” Damn it, why did I have to stutter? 

He turns his masked head towards me. I can almost FEEL his grinning under the thing. “He’s going to fight Tomura as well tomorrow.” 

I’m pretty sure I stopped breathing. There’s no way he can fight Dabi, Toga, AND Tomura at the same time without being killed! 

He doesn’t say anything else as he turns and leaves. I quickly take their muzzles back off. There’s nothing that can be done. I can only hope he’s strong enough to survive. No dragon has survived Tomura though. I sigh heavily and look at Suppress. “I hope you can handle a lot at once. If I’m right, you might be against three tomorrow. Be as ruthless as you can. They won't be holding back.” 

I leave and grab food for them again. This time, they eat it with me there. I sit in the same spot as before. 

-------------------------------------

The next day comes too soon. This time I’m woken up to the sun shining right on my face. That means it’s much later than yesterday. I go to sit up, and nearly groan in stiffness. Yep, here comes the pain and stiffness of laying on the floor. The two of them are staring at me while growling, or probably talking to each other. Well that’s a little weird. 

I get up lean backwards, giving my back a good crack. It felt satisfying and did relieve the tiniest bit of discomfort. Using my healing, it doesn’t take long to feel fully normal again. I look at the giant scar still under Suppress’ eye. Pity courses through me at it. Well, at least she didn’t strike slightly higher, permanently losing his sight. Judging that Suppressor might be taken soon for a final fight today, I get up and grab the muzzles yet again. I’m so sick of even seeing these damn things. Suppressor’s gets put on properly, but I keep Shatter’s a bit loose again. He almost seems appreciative of it. “When they come to take you, save your energy for the fight. You’re going to need everything you can get.” 

They were put on just in time too since Masura comes in with a few others to take Suppress. “Already?” I question. 

“Yeah, he wants this to be the only fight today. He couldn’t wait to see what this thing is made of.” 

This “thing” is a he, you overdeveloped rotten cabbage. 

The dragon must have been able to understand me since he doesn’t fight them that strongly as they drag him out by the chains. I sigh and look towards Shatter. “I hope he’s strong. He’s going to need everything he can get.” 

I follow Masura into the stall. It’s odd being in a different one for once, and I’m horrified with how roughly they throw him around with the chains. I go up front and take off his muzzle yet again, allowing him to snap at the people. I smirk as he gets dangerously close to his teeth meeting the flesh of one of the men close to me on my left. He shrieks and stumbles far away. 

He then gets shoved forward out of the stall into the arena. Masura and the others quickly leave, probably to the stands to get a better view of the fight higher up. 

It’s dead silent in the stands. “Now, I know there are usually a few every day, but this is a chance that can’t be taken up. Today is a one fight only, and three against one. Now, that usually doesn’t happen with the lack of action that would normally cause, but this dragon has an incredibly special ability I want to see how they fare on their own,” three separate gates open, revealing what I feared. He’s given them a higher advantage by not all being together to have their abilities eliminated. Now, Toga’s not really a problem since Suppress doesn’t have an ally, but she’s still incredibly agile and dangerous. 

Tomura is probably one of the oddest dragons. His scales look incredibly dry, despite not exactly being a desert dragon. Bright red eyes glowing with hate, and talons of dead dragons latched onto his body. Don’t know why they’re there, but it’s still such a sickening thing to see. 

Dabi looks good as before with no slash wounds to be seen. Of course the fucker is willing to fully heal his dragons whenever they’re injured. 

Toga is in front, Dabi on Suppress’ left, and Tomura on his right. There was an eerie stillness for a moment, almost like they're all waiting for something. That something was Tomura. He hissed something, and they all lunged for him. He manages to dodge all three. Tomura is trying to get a grip on him for disintegration, or decay, or whatever terrifying thing it is he does. Suppress is trying to keep an eye on him and ducks down in time to avoid Dabi’s fire. Toga tries to stab him with her tail while he’s lowered against Dabi’s fire and watching Tomura.  

Turns out he was somehow also able to keep watch of Toga. He brings his tail in front of him and pushes Toga up without her realizing. Dabi’s fire hits her for a moment, making her let out a sound that makes Dabi stop. Even from here smoke is coming off of her back. 

She jumps out of the way for Dabi to continue. He uses his ability to stop Dabi from using his hot fire. Since he’s so distracted by keeping his sight on Dabi, and ends up focusing more on Toga’s location. Tomura is able to get up on him again. He manages to grab Suppress' right arm. It’s not for long as he seems to notice immediately what the dragon’s ability does. It stops decaying as he glares at Tomura instead. 

Dabi notices and tries to use his fire again. It works. So his ability must need to keep his eyes in contact with a dragon to stop their ability. Chunks of his arm fall away, leaving his arm to start bleeding rather heavily. Suppress flinches is obvious pain. He’s able to keep a level head and use Tomura’s grip on him to pull him in front in the path of Dabi’s fire. Really clever using a long-range foe’s ability to harm its allies. 

Dabi doesn’t stop in time, greatly charring Tomura’s already bad scales as well. 

All For One isn’t too happy of his favorite pawn being injured so quickly already. Well, it’s obviously his fault for the other two joining in the first place. 

A sick pleasure grows in me at his frustrated stance of tight grip on his chair. Though pity courses through me as well looking at his partially decayed arm. Should have warned him about that. 

Toga manages to ignore the pain of her burned scales and attempts to attack Suppress again. He swipes his tail as hard as he can, making Toga go flying and crash into the wall from her rather small size. Especially compared to the others. The back of her head hit the wall as well, and she slumps to the ground, unmoving. She doesn’t seem to be dead though, her stomach still slightly rising. 

Now All For One seems to be getting angrier. He doesn’t seem to be the only one. Tomura lets out a rather angry growl. Suppress is facing me again, and blinks, though he really didn’t seem to want to. That’s all the two needed to go all-out on him again. 

Tomura tries to grab him again but wasn’t able to. Suppress grabs right above his two front talons to prevent more decay. One thing going for him is he’s much stronger physically, so he’s able to manage quite easily keeping him pinned down. 

With Dabi’s fire consistently being shot at him, he does something his body shows he didn’t really want to do. He tilts his head and leans down, biting into the sides of Tomura’s neck. He slowly continues to bite down harder as Dabi doesn’t cease using his fire at him. Tomura is visually starting to panic at this point.

I think I know his plan, but it probably won’t work. Dabi doesn’t really care about the others but tolerates them for his own enjoyment of the arena. 

Looking at All For One, I freeze. He’s angrier than I’ve ever seen him. I can swear I see his hands shaking from here. Huh, he’s not usually the type to have strong visual emotion besides slight interest. 

Eventually, there was a sickening “crunch”, indicating that Suppress must have bitten into bone. Tomura’s neck slumps to the side, and he can’t seem to pick his head back up. 

All For One had enough as he stood up from his chair for the first time and I can see the chains going for Suppress again. The chains yank Suppress so harshly that he drops Tomura, and ends up being slammed into one of the walls himself. 

My body freezes completely as All For One’s head turns to look directly at me. I’m happy Suppress was able to survive, but now I’m dreading what All For One’s going to do to him. 

I rush back to Shatter since I can tell All For One is about to come in this time. He seems desperate to have the muzzle off again. His eyes almost light up as I enter. “Sorry, I can’t take it off yet. Your friend is in pretty bad shape though and will be coming shortly.” 

I almost waited with bated breath for a good few minutes. This time, instead of Masura and the others, it was All For One himself, easily dragging the dragon along. The chains pull him back by the other and latch back onto the walls. He has chains wrapped around his snout like the other did before. He’s between me and the dragons, and I can see their expressions behind him. Suppress is still flinching in pain from his decayed flesh. 

He turns his head to me. “Kill them both.”

I was in shock. I have never been demanded to kill a dragon, yet alone two before. He won fairly! Even with injuries! He and Shatter deserve to be let free! 

I notice the two dragons tense behind him. 

“I will not repeat myself. They nearly killed my best pawn. Nothing gets to pass my pawn. That will not stand, so they will be killed,” He looks at Shatter’s loosened muzzle. Fuck. “I noticed they seem to be trusting of you, so I’m making you do it. You have one hour,” he turns around and leaves. 

I look at the wounds of his fight from earlier. You know what? Fuck him. If I die, I die. 

“I think you both more than earned your freedom by now. Hell, neither of you should have been here in the first place. Do me a favor and warn the others to not come near here ever again.” Shatter tilts his head at me again as I take off his muzzle and the chains around Suppress' snout.  Here’s to hoping they can understand me. The sword hanging on the wall out of reach of the two dragons should be able to break the chains. 

My first priority is to fully heal that decayed part. The scar under his eye is sadly permanent now though. My hand glows its familiar green and it hovers over the wound. Unfortunately, it couldn’t be fully healed either, but the scar is much smaller than it would have been. I try my best with the burns, but it doesn’t do much. 

The longer my hand hovers right above his scales and heals him, the more drained and tired I feel. It gets to the point my body tries to fall forward. I push my hand onto him to try keeping my balance. “Whew. Not quite… Used to using so much energy. Haha.” His shoulder that I’m leaning against twitches. I take it as my cue to step away and end up leaning against the wall not far behind me to catch my breath. Looking towards Shatter, he’s still in pretty good shape, but the wounds from before can be healed a bit more to make sure they don’t reopen. 

I trudge over to him and do the same, ending up leaning on him like Suppress. This time even more tired though. I can’t rest yet. There’s so little time to get them free yet. I push myself off him and go to grab the sword. With my tired state it’s almost too heavy to be lifted. 

The first thing was their wings with metal being wrapped around them and pulled outwards. I grab the chain closer to him to try preventing it from pulling. The sword gets slammed down as hard as possible, making the chain break. One by one, the others were broken too. Eventually, all were broken off of both. My arm is so sore from lifting the sword so many times, and being drained in the first place. My breath is incredibly ragged. 

After dropping the sword after the final chain, I close my eyes and lean against the wall. It’s hard to stay awake. “There. Now… Get going before someone returns.” 

Both of them stop towards the entrance and look at me. “Go!” I yell at them and point forward. They stay for a moment longer, then bolt out. 

I stay leaned for a few minutes. That was beyond exhausting. Two familiar sets of footsteps enter.

“You damn traitor. I really thought you’d be better than the last. I should kill you now!” 

I look towards the entrance. All For One and Masura. Guess just get it over with then.

All For One stops him with an arm in front of him. “No. They deserve much worse than death for their betrayal.”    

Well shit.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Locked in a dark cell for a good week. Hardly any food, and quite possibly the bare minimum of water given for me to stay alive. At least it wasn’t permanent. Almost wish it was with that happens after leaving the cell. After leaving, he gave the others free rein to injure me whenever they pleased. Masura was more than happy to oblige, leaving me with some rather problematic injuries that made me so tired to heal I could barely heal dragons if I tried. Of course, now someone is always watching me when it’s my time to heal the dragons. My job is only partial now though since he wants someone more “loyal” for the job. Hopefully, those two are happy at least. That’s all that matters. 

In speaking of that, today was a day I wasn’t in charge of it. But Masura sure as hell had a lot of fun tossing me around like a ragdoll. Many show pity for me, but they know not to help. I can’t blame them no matter how much it hurts. A younger one with green curly hair looks like he wanted to deck Masura himself. Same with the dual-haired one beside him. Another rather tall one with glasses stops them and uses a chopping motion to tell them something, making them not intervene. They were a bit too far to be heard. My body is too tired today to heal the recent wounds from him as well. Pretty sure my right eye is a black eye from it being stuck partially closed and obviously the pain. 

While looking around to make sure he’s not near me or any of the others for now today, I stumble upon a rather intimidating-looking man. His back is facing me as someone with really long blue hair is talking to him. He just radiates a strong and uncomfortable type of feeling. Never seen them around before. He doesn’t even turn around. “Sorry, sir.” Some reason that seems to catch his attention. The other two, which is a rather pretty woman. Rather long and messy black hair turns around to lock steely-gray-like eyes with mine. 

That scar reminds me too much of the dragon from before. Wasn’t the scar about the same place too? Huh, he must have been too interested in that fight and lacks self-preservation or something. His eyes widen for some reason. He must have been told by others to not even come near the now outcast. 

I don’t even get to blink when he grabs one of my arms to pull me towards him again. My body instinctively flinches and gets prepared to be hit again. It never comes. My eyes open to see him staring at small cuts still bleeding slightly. His sight then immediately goes towards my swollen eye. There’s an odd fury that grows in his eyes the more he sees. Too tired to think what that must be about. I try to pull my arm free from his grip. ‘I’m sorry sir, but could you please let me go? I’m really tired and just want to go home for the day.” 

He doesn’t. If anything, his grip gets slightly tighter from me trying to pull away. Not painfully so, but it’s there. The other turns to look, and her eyes widen a substantial amount. She looks at him. “They the one? They’re not looking so hot.”

“We got what we need. Tell Zashi and the others.” 

She nods and pushes something hidden against her ear. “We found the target.” She says something else too, but my mind is too caught up in the “target” part. 

T-target!? That snaps me to attention. What did All For One tell them? Are they looking for something and he pinned the blame on me that I have it? Did he hire them to make my life more insufferable?  

A set of footsteps comes up rapidly. They must be running as fast as they could. It’s another male. He has incredibly long hair and some rather odd facial hair. He suddenly hugs me. “So glad to have finally found you! The week has been terrible! Sho! We shoulda taken then with us!” 

I don’t know you weirdos. What kind of sick prank is this? I try to push him away. “You must have the wrong person. I don’t know either of you.” He latches on tighter. “C’mon, we’re not dragons now, but you gotta recognize us! Especially Sho’s scar! 

...What? Looking closer, the blond one seems to have small scales poking at his clothing. That… This cannot be possible. I shake my head in disbelief. “There’s no way! Dragon shifters aren’t real!” 

“Oh, we definitely are, dear- what happened!? Why do you have so many injuries!?” 

“That Masura man I’m guessing. Problem child informed me of it not too long ago.” 

Problem child? 

The blond one almost seems to growl. “Don’t regret our decision for today then.”

“Decision?” I question. 

They both grow a rather sadistic smirk. I can’t tell which is more unnerving. The blond’s is bigger and shows more of his teeth, but there’s just something about the black-haired one’s that seems more unnatural.  

“Well, we’ve been lookin’ for ya for about a week now. We were starting to think he did kill you, and we weren’t happy. Besides! A dragon killer like him can’t live anyway. He’s a danger to our kind!” he turns towards the woman. “Give everyone the signal,” He turns towards this ‘“Sho” or whatever he is. “You should take them. Don’t want any more damage to our poor lovely healer, huh?” He smiles at me. 

I’m… still trying to wrap my frazzled mind and body around this. I don’t get to though from the sudden thing of many of the people around suddenly growing rapidly in size, and obtaining dragon qualities. 

It doesn’t even take a minute for them all to be full dragons, and ripped clothes everywhere. As well as the two familiar ones right in front of me. Shatter and Suppress. 

Shatter picks me up and flies up a bit, being careful with his claws. He places me on Suppress’ back. 

Can things please stop for two minutes to let me think!? Again, I don’t get to as Suppress takes off into the air. There’s nothing to really grab onto to not fall off, so I grab his hair. It’s surprisingly soft. Wasn’t expecting that. My hands make the hair wrap around my hands a few times to not have to clench it so tightly. I’d rather not fall to my death. 

He either dosn’t feel me pulling on his hair or doesn’t care. I lean closer to ignore the air whipping by as he speeds around flying. The screaming of the people is also a bit too much. They have nothing to fend themselves since dragons have never attacked this place before. Usually they get caught before they do.  

There’s the familiar screaming or yelling of Shatter in the distance. I look over to see him with multiple other dragons against All For One. He’s gotten a few chained to the ground, but the sheer amount of them that keep using their abilities against him is making it really hard for him to focus. 

A familiar exploding dragon zooms past to fight one of his prized dragons he must have let free to help. They’re not helping much. They can’t. There are too many. Toga tries to stab him with her tail, but the exploding one is relentless. He has a sick smile, almost like he’s enjoying the fight. He almost too quickly manages to pin her to the ground and slams explosion after explosion onto her face. 

Dabi is being managed by an oddly colored dragon that reminds me of the red and white-haired one from earlier. With him fighting Dabi is a green one with an oddly long tongue, and a pink and brown one who somehow can move large buildings to fall onto Dabi, making him constantly jump around to avoid being hit. 

Tomura doesn’t seem to be having much luck either. The two must have informed the others of his ability. He’s against multiple with long-ranged abilities like Shatter. 

Despite all the noise around, I’m getting even more tired with the rocking of his body with the movement of his wings. Same with his oddly warm scales being rather comforting, and hair draping around me like a blanket. Exhaustion overtakes me as the sounds of screaming people, roaring dragons, and crackling fire of houses slowly fades to silence with me drifting off. 

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Not edited to the fullest capability. We die like captains with their sinking ships. Will be doing a part two with better yandere stuff...

….. Eventually…...

[rizahawkais]

I LOVED season 1 and 2 of the crown but found season 3 quite dull and difficult to get through. I'm enjoying season 4 (still havent finished bc I watch with my family and we're rarely all together) but I think that the earlier seasons were a lot better in my opinion

hi! i completely agree w you!

I AM SO SORRY FOR THE LATE REPLY! I replied to this the day you sent it but my laptop crashed and I lost everything I wrote so I put off till now!

All in all, the writing for the first two seasons were WAY better. My ranking is s2 > s1 > s4 >>>>> s3. In my opinion, season three was kind of terrible.

hahaha this is so so long.

In the first two seasons each episode’s mini story for the day was actually INTERESTING. Like, I loved where one episode was about the Mountbatten name and then the next was about the Great Smog! But, there was always an overarching plot and it always added up in the end. S1, S2 and S4 all had an overarching plot that worked! S1 was balancing family and the crown. S2 was balancing prime ministers and her husband. S4 was the downfall of Margaret Thatcher and Charles/Diana. S3 LITERALLY HAD NO PLOT! It was just a bunch of stories put together. The finale for season 3 was about the end of Margaret’s marriage! And although, it is an important event in the family’s history the fact that it was the finale episode????

Anyways, Season 3 genuinely just sucks. Season 4 is REALLY good. Yet, it still doesn’t leave as much of an affect on me like the earlier seasons. AND LIKE I KNOW BECAUSE I’VE REWATCHED THE FIRST THREE SEASONS SO MANY TIMES. I’ve only seen the fourth once because I’m too busy and it’s also too early for me to rewatch it. So, maybe my opinion of season 4 will change!

Now, because I am extra 😈😈 and crazy I will talk about every single episode IN ORDER. hehehehehehe. feel free to hate me

SEASON ONE

101 Wolferton Splash - 10/10 this episodes just sets everything up! we see how happy the marriage is and how loving king george is and we also see the FORSHADOWING!! we see lilibet and phillip making their life thinking they had time when we know they don’t and it’s just :( AN AMAZING PILOT EPISODE WITH AMAZING QUOTES!

102 Hyde Park Corner - 1000/10 this episode needs no explanation. the suspense and DRAMA right before lilibet finds out about her dad ALWAYS gets me!!

103 Windsor - 10/10 I hated this episode the first time I watched it! I didn’t understand the importance of her uncle and I didn’t understand the complexity behind the episode. I was 14 when I saw this episode for the first time! So, mind you I was quite ignorant. but, david basically represents the audience in the show for those who hate the monarchy and call them out on their hypocrisy. BUT DAVID IS A TERRIBLE PERSON! FUCK DAVID! i understand hating the monarchy and for him i know it was personal but the way he talks about his family in the letters UGHUGHGUHGUHGUHGUH this man is evil! there’s also the other story in the episode about the mountbatten name which is so brilliant!

104 Act of God - 15/10 this episode was boring on first watch but I WAS FOURTEEN! this episode took a break from the monarchy and concentrated on a british national horrific event THAT WAS IMPORTANT and i liked how it connected throughout the episode and all that and the CINEMATOGRAPHY OMGGGGG! anyways, something that pisses me off about this episode is that the crown kind of has the same kind of audience as euphoria! they only care about a hot actor or iconic character or the aesthetics AND THAT MAKES ME ANGRY! bc those are the ppl who call this episode the boring fog episode and the latest episode of euphoria a waste of time! they don’t understand the importance of what their watching. an event that killed hundreds by something that could have been avoided bc of science and for euphoria an ongoing pandemic of an ugly world and its affect on ppl not wanting to go on! IM SORRY THIS TURNED INTO A RANT but this episode is important in reminding audiences that disasters can be avoided but also once they happen anything can happen THIS WAS A SAD EPISODE OKAY AND I LOVED VENETIA SCOTT!

105 Smoke and Mirrors - 100/10 THE CORONATION EPISODE! Phillip tries to bring it to the common public and all the fighting between them just makes the coronation even more impactful when we watch it!

106 Gelignite - 8/10 I DESPISED MARGARET IN THE FIRST SEASON i saw her as a spoiled brat who wanted to marry her dad’s assistant! AND ALSO HOW DID SHE NOT REALIZE THERE WAS DEFINITE GROOMING INVOLVED! this episode is generally very good but margaret just pisses me off a lot! however, her not being able to marry peter boresend shouldn’t have been because of his divorcee status but bc he simply was a predator in anyone’s clear eyes IM SORRY IF YOU DISAGREE BUT SHE MET HIM SO YOUNG NO WAY THERE WAS NO GROOMING good episode but pissed off at margaret’s lack of critical thinking besides but I WANT HIMMMMM LIKE I WANT EVERYTHING

107 Scientia Potentia Est - 11/10 hated this when i first watched it! but now one of my favorites! lilibet feels dumb and needs a tutor! prime minister and wannabe prime minister have health problems and keep it from her! lilibet finds out by accident and they all get yelled at! I LOVE WHEN SHE YELLS AT MEN!

108 Pride & Joy - 10/10 this episode is just adds on to the overarching plot of the season: balancing the crown and family. margaret says disrespectful things to ppl who don’t deserve it in place of lilibet while she’s on the commonwealth tour fighting with her husband! then lilibet scorns margaret and we see an ugly papa loved me more argument! absolutely brilliant!

109 Assassins - 1000/10 hated it the first time but now I LOVE THIS EPISODE! it’s the painting and porchey episode and churchill leaving episode. It’s so so so good! i honestly have no words to describe the brilliance of this episode besides the acting done by almost the entire main cast CLAIRE WOW! MATT WOW! STEPHEN (THE PAINTER) WOW! JOHN WOW! HARRIET WOW! when we see the painting getting burned coincided w the downing st dinner GETS ME EVERYTIME I LOVE IT SO SO MUCH!

110 Gloriana - 100/10 the climactic fight between the crown and family! which will lilibet choose?? and the foreshadowing to suez MWAH!

SEASON TWO

201 Misadventure - 100/10 LOVE LOVE LOVE THIS EPISODE the cutesy lilibet and phillip until it all goes down WOW! and the suez stuff i love it all

202 A Company of Men - 100/10 this is where i think mike’s wife starts snooping or it’s the next episode BUT THIS IS WHERE SOMETHING BEGINS FOR SURE first of all it foreshadows the episode later in the season about philip’s childhood AND MATT’S ACTING!! it’s too good for words!

203 Lisbon - 100/10 i like it when they fight lol that’s the only way i know how to describe why i love it LILIBET WAS EXCITED TO SEE HIM AND SO WAS HE but then mike ruined it by being a disgraceful and dishonest man RUINING EVERYTHING

204 Beryl - 10/10 i start to like margaret bc i feel bad for her! she’s suffering she’s sad that her lil predator boyfriend is no longer w her but look who it is MATTHEW GOODE! he not suspicious at all but the writers are like here take 20 minutes of perfect chemistry between the actors!

205 Marionettes - 100/10 I LOVE THIS EPISODE basically someone who loves the monarchy insults the monarchy and lilibet actually goes to listen to them! w resistance of course but she still took everything he said to fix the monarchy !

206 Vergangenheit - 1000/10 one of my favorites! i didn’t know about david’s nazi past so when i watched this episode for the first time i was completely baffled! another episode where she yells at a man!!!! i’m always annoyed in this episode tho by all the talk from the priest about forgiveness bc im like why would u want to forgive david for being a nazi?? but i think it was intentional by the writers to show the importance of understanding forgiveness and the grounds for it! THIS EPISODE IS JUST PERFECT IM ANNOYED BC I DON’T WANT TO FORGIVE HIM

207 Matrimonium - 9/10 this episode is amazing BEFORE you’ve seen season three bc you root for margaret and tony! but, also throughout the episode there’s all that tony and family and his gf and bf stuff that you think is going to lead somewhere but doesn’t??? like what was the point of introducing his mother and his relationships if it was going nowhere and not even mentioned in season 3??? LIKE WHAT WAS THE POINT WHAT WAS THE REASON? but, also there’s lilibet and phillip fluff in this episode I LOVE

208 Dear Mrs. Kennedy - 10/10 this episode is fun as an american bc i think jackie kennedy and jfk are so idolized here in america it was so interesting to see this other pov! BUT I ALSO REALLY LOVED LILIBET DANCING W NKRUMAH! I THOUGHT IT WAS SO CUTE AND THE MARTIN CHARTERIS STUFF LEADING UP TO IT WAS SO FUNNY!

209 Paterfamilias - 100000/10 no words. IT WAS SO SMART TO PARALLEL PHILIP AND CHARLES this has a lower rating than the previous episode which makes no sense but only goes to prove the idolization of jackie and jfk

210 Mystery Man - 100/10 EVERYTHING FROM THE FIRST EPISODE IS ADDRESSED IN THIS EPISODE THE SEASON COMES FULL CIRCLE JUST LIKE SEASON ONE DID AND SEASON THREE DID NOT DO THAT AND SEASON FOUR DID IT TOO BUT NO WHERE AS GREATLY

every single episode of seasons two has a 9+ rating from me!

SEASON THREE (worst season)

301 Olding - 5/10 weak starter but good for introducing olivia as lilibet and harold wilson and departing churchill BUT THAT’S IT! like the whole spy thing just went bleh LIKE IT HAD POTENTIAL but it needed early seasons writing not third season writing techniques TOBIAS DID A GREAT JOB THO IN THIS EPISODE HE WAS A GREAT RECAST FOR PHILIP

302 Margaretology - 6/10 okay. just okay. margaret kind of bratty but you actually feel bad for her then she gets bratty again and then you feel bad for her again and the scenarios in the episode just didn’t feel real like the whole lyndon b johnson was so jealous of jfk that he was rude to the queen so they sent margaret JUST DIDN’T MAKE SENSE like i know this show is fictional but the fiction tends to be believable until i research the episode afterwards BUT FOR THIS it just didn’t make sense

303 Aberfan - 1000/10 ONE OF THE GOOD EPISODES OF THE SEASON! those first fifteenish minutes??? TEARS! i never knew about aberfan until this episode and seeing this episode made me cry!

304 Bubbikins - 10000/10 THIS EPISODE IS TECHNICALLY NOT AS GOOD AS THE ABERFAN EPISODE BUT THIS IS A PERSONAL PREFERENCE we meet anne and alice in this episode AND I LOVE BOTH OF THEM (erinsdoherty is my current url!) this episode is so sad and sweet at the same time and loving bc i’m a sucker for philip’s back story!

305 Coup - 8/10 this had potential I FEEL LIKE IF THEY WROTE THIS EPISODE DIFFERENTLY LIKE HOW THEY WROTE ONE OF THE SUEZ EPISODE IT WOULD HAVE BEEN SO MUCH BETTER the fact that it all went to nothing and nothing basically happened WHAT WAS THE POINT

306 Tywysog Cymru - 1000/10 this episode made me like charles! what a horrendous statement! but, like i thought his relationship w his tutor was so heartwarming and he actually seemed to care and all that and it just all in all MADE ME HAPPY like this episode isn’t sad it’s a happy episode until the last scene w lilibet BUT YEA they gave us this one good episode until we hate him which i appreciate makes the story telling better

307 Moondust - -100/10 hate this episode LIKE GENUINELY HATE IT HATE HATE HATE and tbh im generally very very nice w my opinions ANYWAYS I WAS SO EXCITED FOR THIS EPISODE BUT IT WAS SO STUPID LIKE THE ASTRONAUTS BEING ASSHOLES WAS STUPID PHILIP BEING AN ASSHOLE TO THE PRIESTS WAS STUPID LIKE PHILIP IS AN ASSHOLE BUT IT’S BEHIND PEOPLE’S BACKS AND THEN THEY KILLED ALICE OFF SCREEN I HATE THIS EPISODE

308 Dangling Man - -1000/10 HATE THIS ONE TOO this episode convinced me that the writers for the first two seasons to this season has changed all of a sudden we forget that david was basically a nazi and the charles we met two episodes ago sees him as exactly like this uncle who he swore he would be nothing like to the people of wales??? LIKE WHO WROTE THIS THEY WERE DOING CRACK WHILE WRITING THIS EPISODE and i felt NOTHING during the lilibet and david goodbye WHACK EPISODE TERRIBLE JUST BAD TERRIBLE

309 Imbroglio - 5/10 episode started off good but then just went a lil too crazy by making it seem like a whole secret spy mission going behind lilibet’s back

310 Cri de Cour - 4/10 bad just bad HBC GOOD ACTRESS AMAZING ACTRESS given bad material like NONE OF THIS FEELS CONNECTED THIS STORY IS ALL RANDOM AND WE HAD A WHOLE EPISODE ABOUT MARGARET AND TONY AND WE DON’T EVEN MENTION ANY OF THE CRAZY STUFF FROM THE LAST SEASON BUT WE CONCENTRATE ON MARGARET BEING A SUGAR MAMA MAKES SENSE YALL

once again i hate season three

SEASON FOUR

401 Gold Stick- 8/10 written weirdly but had GOOD SCENES such as meeting thatcher and diana! BUT THE SCENE STEALER WAS OBVIOUSLY MOUNTBATTEN’S DEATH AND PHILIP TELLING CHARLES THAT HE BECAME DICKIE’S SON INSTEAD OF HIM SAD STUFF so like the death was sad and dramatic and I FELT BAD but like i shouldn’t bc im south asian and mountbatten did bad stuff to us BUT IT DOESN’T CHANGE THE RIPPLE WE FELT

402 The Balmoral Test - 9/10 funny episode but needed early seasons’ writing

403 Fairytale - 9/10 good episode but needed early seasons’ writing BUT ALSO THAT SCENE BETWEEN CAMILA AND DIANA MWAH CHEF’S KISS THEY BOTH DESERVE ALL THE AWARDS but needed early seasons’ writing

404 Favourites - 7/10 this episode is good but frustrating bc u finally realize how terrible of a mother lilibet is BUT THE ANDREW STUFF WAS GOOD I AM GLAD THEY PUT THAT IN! i liked seeing thatcher’s non-existent relationship w her daughter NEEDED EARLY SEASONS’ WRITING

405 Fagan - 10/10 GOOD EPISODE I LIKE HOW WE WERE EMERSED IN FAGAN’S LIFE AND I LOVE THE ACTOR FOR FAGAN TOO AND I LIKE HOW IT WAS CONNECTED TO THATCHER AND FUELED THE OVERARCHING PLOT OF THE STORY!

406 Terra Nullius - 100/10 GOOD EPISODE CLOSEST TO EARLY SEASONS WRITING THAT’S WHAT MADE IT GOOD seeing them not get along and then get along and then not get along again through a series of montages made the episode brilliant!

407 The Hereditary Principle - 6/10 this episode. how do i explain? the material for this episode was absolutely perfect for the writers of the early seasons! POOR EXECUTION

408 48:1 - 100/10 i like the political episodes more than the family episodes SO THIS EPISODE IS SO BRILLIANT BC OF THE BACK AND FORTH AND I GOT TO SEE CLAIRE!!

409 Avalanche - 7/10 early season writers would have shown the arguing before the avalanche and diana’s reaction JUST SAYING

410 War - 9/10 THIS EPISODE HAD THE YELLING AT EACH OTHER SCENE THAT WAS SO GOOD BUT ANYWAYS THE PROBLEM W THIS EPISODE WAS THAT IT DRAGGED I FEEL LIKE THIS EPISODE AND THE ONE BEFORE SHOULD HAVE BEEN ONE EPISODE TOGETHER

ALAS, what i would like to say is that i feel that season 4 shouldn’t have been so diana centric! it was diana from the beginning of the season to the end! not, that i don’t love the whole diana story but it was dragged and i think she should have been introduced around the third/fourth episode of this season the same way tony was in season two! camilla should have arrived at the beginning of season 4 so that the intensity between camilla, charles and diana was more believable! if we season three wasn’t so spread out they could have had more brilliant episode.

OK HAHA I AM SO SORRY FOR THIS VERY LONG RANT ABOUT THE CROWN PLZ FORGIVE ME! AND IF U READ ALL THIS WOW! IDK WHAT TO SAY I THINK I TALK TOO MUCH HONESTLY :( anyways thank you for talking to me :)

[theadorablespderman]

Everything to love about Far From Home not in this order:

Literally seeing that opening with all our loved avengers that are no more.

Whitney Houston “I will always love you” made me cry because damnit Tony’s face was right THERE! NOT OK!

The blip footage was pretty damn funny not gonna lie.

Peter’s cute ass plan to tell MJ how he feels.

MJ’s favorite flower being a Black Dalia because of the murder. Literally a girl I can relate too. Murderinos for life sister. Idk but it just made her sooo relatable!

The fact that Brad is a kid grown up from the blip and that made him seem all the weirder for MJ.

Jealous Peter was so freaking amazing! Oh my gosh! That face he’d get. I’m a sucker for jealousy and they did it so good.

Making MJ this awesome character she was before but also obviously has this softer layer where she does have flaws and insecurities and she’s really sweet but also so badass. That was amazing.

The starting relationship between Peter and Beck. It was cute and so I was sad knowing that Beck was somehow going to be the villain.

Also let’s talk about how Beck is basically Syndrom from the incredibles.

That scene with Peter and Brad....the pure terror when he snapped that picture

Also seeing how big of a dick Brad is and how unhealthy jealous he was.

“Nick Fury” getting ghosted, showing up in Venice, tranquilising Ned (don’t touch him you monster) and then promptly highjacking Peters Summer trip.

Showing the emotional trama Peter is going through. The anxiety, the greiving. It was very reminiscent of Iron Man 3 when Tony suffers from PTSD after the battle of New York. I loved that they showed Peter reacting as any kid would, many adults too, which is to just try and forget anything happened but being faced with the reality every day. So well done.

Happy and May’s relationship. Enough said 😂😂

I feel cheated we didn’t see Mr delmore again.

Addressing all the problems the Blip/Snap created. High school aging, school, drinking ages, homelessness and housing issues. That’s just the start of it I’m sure but they covered those pretty well and I love that.

The technology that made Beck into Misterio was so well done. Instead of some frankly, kinda far fetched story that he came from an alternate earth (which I was willing to believe but felt it was a cop out in terms of plot and character) they showed the real world issues that superhero’s can create. The Enemies that have a real deep rooted hatred for hero because they’ve personally been betrayed or wronged by them. Because marvel has always made clear, everyone is not on the hero’s side.

Steeping Misterio’s powers in tech which is classing marvel but again, so brilliantly done in this movie. I loved the development. Because at first glance, half way through, I was thinking “wow this is really kinda weird and unexplained and too witchcraft for what marvel usually brings to the superpower backstory” I know it’s weird to say after everything marvel has done. But it seemed just a tad out there without being too hard to grasp. Which again was brilliantly done because that was the whole point.

The nod to Misterio’s helmet even when Beck was in the hologram suit watching everything play out. I guess it was his screen? But I loved the staple of even without his big over the top suit he still had the trademark helmet. Great costume design.

Peter’s soft gazes towards MJ. Nearly gave me a cavity they were so sweet! Ahhh sooo cute

Mr. Harrington’s marital problems nearly made me pee my pants....we all knew here in the fandom that shit like that would half to happen but my god lol

The opera scene was sooo freakin cute and that one step Peter took when he saw Brad move in was so freaking cute and hot!

MJ running after him and finding the critical peice of information to crack the case wide open. Loved it.

Betty and Ned’s Sicily sweet romance that you knew couldn’t possibly last. They really nailed the realistic high school romance. But I still ship it.

The bus scene was epic. And when Peter knocked Flash out...god it was amazing.

Mj obviously having love eyes towards Peter same as he does for her.

THE FACT THAT HE ACTUALLY BOUGHT THAT NECKLACE FOR HER OH MY GOD! I CANT GET A GUY TO TEXT ME BACJ LET ALONE BUY A NECKLACE LIKE THAT WHICH PROBABALY COST A GOOD CHUNK OF CHANGE IT WAS SO FREAKING AMAZING AND CUTE AND TOUCHING.

All the iron man images got me feeling depressed as hell

“are you being serious because I was only like 67% sure?” That was amazing. Seeing MJ get so excited and trying to keep that hidden was awesome

The fact that she was so pleased with herself but also played it hella cool when Ned walked in and she said she figured it out. Literally that is me.

The shirtless Peter trope that we all wanted and freaking got! So freaking cute how she tried to peak at his abs. Like understandable girl.

The fucking illusions. Turning our sweet trusting Peter into a ball of mess. I was too.

God when he had to tell himself it wasn’t real but it still totally feels like it is.

Him trying to save MJ when she’s “thrown off the Eiffel Tower”

Every traumatizing thing Beck shows and tells him during the illusion. So shitty.

Seeing Tony’s grave, seeing iron man come out. That was awful and we all felt it in the movie because we’ve lost him too. We could FEEL that slap same as Peter.

Beck telling Peter that Tony’s death was his fault. I was abouta hurl myself at the movie screen.

Every illusion done in a way that just when you think it’s over, it’s never stopped. You forget what’s real and you feel trapped in it same as Peter does.

WHEN HE GETS HIT BY THE TRAIN!!!!!!!!!! Nearly had a damn heart attack!!!! My mom had to look over and ask if I was ok because I literally stopped breathing for a solid 30 seconds.

Showing gradually just how insane and evil Misterio was.

HAPPY BEING CONCERNED FOR PETER! LIKE SINCERELY AND HONESTLY CONCERNED! It’s good to know he’s got Happy to take care of him and May but that Peter still has a father type figure he can count on after Tony. Because you know Tony wouldn’t have put up with any of that getting hit by a train shit.

Also where the hell was Karen? We missed her. We got Edith but Karen wouldn’t have let Misterio take her over. WHERE WAS KAREN!!

Peter crying and needing to know Happy was real. Broke me heart

That hug between them was so sweet and you can see the concern on Happy’s face

Happy and Peter opening up to each other was so awesome considering their relationship in Homecoming.

ALL THE TONY and PETER PARRELLS! All of them!!!!!!!!! Not the people saying “Spider-Man’s the next Ironman” no the actual hints and glimpses at how similar him and tony actually are. The hologram gauntlet shot, a straight parallel to Iron Man when Tony is building his first real suit. Obviously “Back in Black” by Led Zeplen (formally known as AC/DC) playing. Another obvious hint toward Tony. The Stark sunglasses. Peter falling with the parachute and it literally looks like Ironman with his jet stream behind him from a distance. There’s so much more I’ll do a whole other post on.

Of course: “I love Led Zeplin!” Hahaha it’s such a kid thing to say! I’ve said it before I knew the big differences between AC/DC and Led Zeplin. It was so freaking perfect.

Peter making his suit and Happy’s face. Bittersweet and I live for the affection he holds for Peter now.

The Netherlands Holding cell...must I say more?

Brad’s downfall and MJs amazing comment about him taking pictures of people in the bathroom. Ep-ic. Even flash was like “bro that’s so weird”

Mr. witchcraft was hilarious and I loved his aside with Brad “I’m gonna be the cool teacher and tell you you can’t do that anymore.”

Flash is definately Gay or Bi and I’m so here for it. That wink he makes to Peter proves it.

All the near death truths in the vault of the tower.

MJ BADDASS COMES SWINGING WITH THE MACE AND IT WAS LEGINDARY OH MY GOD! YES GIRL! She’s my idol I love her so much.

Peter and his “Peter Tingle” And while we’re on the subject the banana he gets to the face while packing.

Important. His amazing skills at the end trusting his instincts (which is great because May says in regards to MJ, but it applies to this too) May tells Peter to trust his instincts and don’t think too much. And that’s what he does when he defeats Beck.

The bad ass “you can’t fool me anymore” after redirecting the gun away from his head at the end. Literally was so intense and well done.

Peter and MJ’s kisses! I loved how awkward it was at first and the slightly less awkward one. They really accurately captured the awkwardness of teenagers in love. Like that’s what it’s like guys.

Show me MJ’s parents you cowards, or show me something. Anything. I just want to know the nature of the situation.

Ned and Betty’s breakup. So funny and honestly not surprising at all. But still I ship them.

The hand hold. So cute.

May and Peter still being the cutest aunt and nephew duo there ever was.

I totally thought Peter was going to end with telling the world he was spiderman....BUT SOME OTHER ASSHOLES DID IT FOR HIM AND MADE HIM INTO A VILLAN AND IM PISSED. LOOKING AT YOU MR JAMESON YOU PEICE OF SHIT.

The movie ended and I have no idea what’s next.

Mid credit of MJ swinging through New York. Home girl doesn’t like and neither do I. Looks full on terrifying we don’t blame you hun.

After credit where the skrulls have been playing Maria and Nick fury for the whole movie. Honestly it made more sense because Nick fury seemed just a bit off. ALSO WHERE IS THE REAL NICK FURY at and I’m so psyched to see where this new movies are gonna go!

Alright that all for now folks!!!! Everything about the movie was great!!! I will have to watch again ad see if anything more pops up. Sorry for any spelling errors I’m on my phone.

[mamafishfound]

Leon: The Rabid Lion and Astrology

Alright finally got to posting this I'm sorry it took so long a lot was going on with the Cornovirus stuff and my husband had issues with his green card and can't find it which we had no luck finding but alas thats a unrelated issue to the post. So here we are for the long awaited Star Crossed Myth and Astrology post

The Leo Archtype

Leo is ruled by the sun and rules the 5th house, the house of creative expression, arts, hobbies,children, and ect. Leo energy shines the brightest when it is in your sun sign and many famous Leos tend to pursue theater careers and are stereotyped as dramatic and attention-seeking. In a way when we first met Leon, he instantly was all like " you do what i say woman" and magically took her up in the sky to show her the stars. Logically speaking he was just trying to convince her he and the rest of the gods were for real not just trying to kidnap her XD, but the way he did all that was very dramatic and theatrical hahaha. So right off the bat, Leon was very Leo like ASSHOLE edition. In my experience, Leo placement folks are rather generous expressive and kind and although they appear to be self centered, they are kind to their friends and love to share the spotlight. Leon I guess is the kind of Leo who is sick of all this attention due to his powers (if you consider it a power hehe) and thus he wanted to withdraw himself from others and used his powers to appear dominate and in control. Leo energy is very much all about keeping up their reputation and the bad apples of the signs can come across arrogant and egoistic, which Leon shows right off the bat in his route and other routes. Leon's whole purpose is to erase his sin of rejecting true love. Leo archetype is all sharing and expressing love so Leon is basically an unevolved Leo that need to find love for himself once more. Leon was always hard on himself and due to his guilt of indirectly causing a goddess to fall from grace... I don't blame him.

Leon hides the very dark and sad feelings he has and its up to the MC to help him rediscover the true beauty and essence of love. Love does correlate with creative expression that the archetype is all about and I don't blame the king of the heavens casted him away. Leon shouldn't just waste away in self doubt and hide it in shield of aggressiveness and arrogance. Fixed signs in general can have a hard time being open to different perspectives in morale and values and when they are fixed in one way to view the world its a bit of a challenge for them to change it up. This isn’t the say all fixed signs are narrow-minded but when they do change its almost like they go through a metamorphosis and they are better then ever.

Leo is a fire sign and its also fixed, so passion and self expression is strong and upfront. I only met a few introverted Leos and even they have a certain type of stubbornness that is unmatched. Leon takes several chapters to admit his downfalls and give love one more shot. He didn’t believe in true love because all he saw was goddesses lust for his sex and power, so he came to one conclusion that love is not real and he wanted to change the heavens to see through his own image. He even attempted to overthrow the king and take his place. He was someone who thought highly himself and wanted his way only. Its no wonder he is the leader in his department due to his power and charisma that the Leo archetype is all about.

once Leon opened up his cold heart to MC then he is absolved of his sin and he can fully represent the Leo sign. He still is a bit controlling dominate and sadistic (which is why we all secretly love him for hehe) but after he reaches his revelation in love he is more caring generous and kind to the MC. He definitely did a 180 and was more daring and love struck which i can see in Leo placements in general. Leo energy is also known to be wildly sexual and hot and heavy in the bedroom. Leon in some side stories and sequels to his story he definitely is known as an amazing sex god.

The 5th House

This house in astrology is associated with our creative endeavors, hobbies, casual flings, self-expression, and artistic talents. This house is how we standout (or don't standout?) in this world compared to others or audience we are "performing" to. Leo energy is said to be the performers of all the signs so we can imagine that this energy desires to shine through. Leon is the main guy in this story and its no wonder, since he is the route who "outshines" the rest of the guys. Kidding of course LOL, but if you saw the interview of one of the writers of the story, she appeared a bit thirsty for Leon when discussing his storyline. He kept trying to paint the Heroine to be so into him when she got embarrassed over seeing him and Teo having an "orgy" ( like they were just messing around but basically it appeared to be like that LMAO) and even pointed out their bet on the Heroine to be curious and want to "watch their performance". Perhaps she did want to secretly see it but to be accused of such can be humiliating haha. I understand that since I'm a 12th house person ( I'll go over that on Ichthy's analysis if you are unfamiliar with the houses in astrology) I tend to hide my true colors and myself out of shame and insecurity and so seeing Leon being so arrogant and so full of himself rubs me the wrong way and it explains why hes one of my least favorite characters, because he represents everything i shame myself to feeling. Arrogance and cockiness can be seen in the 5th house but remember that is only shown if the said individual is enabled to do so.

Leon represents the side of this house with casual flings and self-expression. He is the head minister of the Wishes department, and even though he acts like he could care less, he is very passionate of his role. All the gods under his department respect him despite his blatant affairs. The fifth house is all about living life to the fullest and expressing ourselves in a way that makes us feel special and unique. The sun rules this house and its no wonder because the sun is the brightest star in our solar system. Leon knows this and it seems he is tired of this yet he still enjoys having the limelight still. This is very stereotypical of Leo energy in general but I feel Leon is just bored of simply getting attention just because he wants to gain attention being unexpected and challenges the King for it by attempting to take his power. I think side stories or his POV route goes over this more but Leon is tired of playing by the rules and he wants to go extreme in order to feel more "alive". From what i heard from others regarding his second season stuff and other side stories, his route is all about the DRAMA and its no wonder he's pushed to be the front man of the game....we all love a hot and dramatic story line for our daily otome hahaha (and if you don’t well....ajfklajlfjakljflajjaklajlGAJJJ lol jk do you boo).

Children also represent this house and normally its associated with your relation with children or how you are as a child. This house also might cue in about your own children if you chose to have any that is. There is a saying that says " Children brighten our world" which is fitting considering what makes us stand out and "bright" is what this house is all about. Leon is not necessarily a big fan of children (unless side stories of his reveal otherwise) but his dramatic and unfiltered comments to the Heroine can be deemed "childlike". Someone correct me but he and Partheno are the only routes that its confirmed the Heroine get preggers right? If not then what i am about to say is invalid but its no wonder Leon's route gets the married with a baby ending. I wonder how he would be as a father? I bet he will shower his child with love tender and care but would also push his child to be the best version of themselves. People in general with personal planets in the 5th house if they decide to have kids, are very good parents and would be the fun mom or dad that encouraged their kids to reach their dreams.

Planets in Leo

Okay so we talked about the archetype of Leo and the house placement and a bit of its ruling planet (the sun) of Leo as well. Now for planet placements. I will only be focusing on the 9 planets astrologers study just to keep things simpler. If anyone wants more of my take on other placements such as Chiron, North node, or even Lilith, let me know I will make a separate post for that. In a birth chart the moment you were born its made by the exact placement the planets are at the time. The sun sign is normally what horoscopes go over but did you know that Venus mars and other planets impact you even more? Since the gods rule their own sign, we can assume their birth chart is all in one sign haha. So I will be going over how Leo energy is played in each planet and how its shown in the entire main story for Leon's route.

Sun in Leo

The sun is considered our sole purpose in our life time. It also is the part of us that is our over all theme of our personality and life choices. It also is what we want to become in the future. The sun sign is normally what horoscopes focus us but the sun sign is only like a summary to our life long autobiography. Sun in Leo is Leo's true home planet and its easier to pick out Leo sun folks especially if their sun sign is positioned between the 1st and 5th houses. Leon is very much the staple of Leo with his arrogance, confidence and need to be dramatic. Though at times he tries to act like he could care less, its soooo obvious he does care about being the center of the Heroine's attention even in the begining of his route XD.

Moon in Leo

The moon sign is known as the "dark side" of your personality. The moon is the hidden sense of self that only your close loved ones or significant others experience. The moon is also associated with the mother or women in your life. The moon is how we react and how we internalize our emotions as well. Most astrologers will look at your moon sign and might come up with what kind of mother or mother figure that raised you, since the mother is the parent that teaches and nurtures us and our emotional well being. Since there was no talk about Leon's parents in the main story (maybe in side stories? ) we will talk about how Leon expresses himself emotionally and how his emotions change based on how the Heroine interacts with him as they get to know each other. I really saw his moon shine when he saw how the Heroine was passionate about helping Her best Friend Hyori's romance life. Normally Leon acts like he could care less but he was being inspired by the Heroine's persistence to make Hyori and her bf to get along again after a big fight. Another example was when Leon openly gives respect to the Heroine in teaching him love and its real meaning. Well go over that more in the Venus section. his emotions are volatile and responds when the heavens started to go against him. Leo moon folks normally are vibrant and warm folks and are good at sharing the lime light over Leo sun folks. Leon even thanks and acknowledges the Heroine for being so strong in the forbidden ending which is the epiphany of how Leo moons show their feelings.

Mercury in Leo

The mercury sign is associated with the conscious mind. This planet is all about how we communicate and retain information within. Mercury also is about our learning style and thinking pattern on a daily and mercury normally is closely aligned with our sun sign. Mercury in Leo are folks that can come across as theatrical and dramatic and are good at gassing themselves and others. The spotlight for this placement is vibrant and fun and Leon at the get go of the route is blunt with the Heroine. He is sadistic in his thinking and has fun being dominant an is very open in dialogue over that. Remeber when Leon would always call out the Heroine when she was distracted or doing something that is laughable? I do remeber her talking to Karno and he so calls out her out being a fickle goldfish. Throughtout his route he communicates with sass and always seems to want to start something. Its no wonder Zyglavis and Scorpio can't stand him, he just sooo full of himself but at least he can back it up being the strongest god in the heavens next to the king himself.

Venus in Leo

Venus is major component that Leon seems to lack connection with in the route. Venus is the planet of love, romance, and short term gains. Its also how we show are love to others and how we expect to be loved back as well in romantic relationships especially. Spolier alert, its love that Leon seems to underestimate love , causing the King of the heavens to kick him out to figure what is loveeeee baby dont hurt me (sorry i had too LOL). Leon doesnt realize this and thought since he did not pleasure the goddess that obsessed over him that was the reason he was cast away from the heavens. The 5th house has a tendency to be more about the fun and thrill regarding love and can get confused with lust. That is what Leon seem to have an issue with, he was so used to being the center of attention due to his power to give absolute pleasure but he always felt like he was being used by others. He wanted more when it comes to love and thats what the Heroine teaches him. Love can come in many different ways and I find Venus in Leo folks love to share the spotlight and help others find love within the best kind of trait in Venus in Leo.

Mars in Leo

Mars is considered the planet of action, agression and sex. Its very much the opposite of Venus. Mars is greatly shown in Leon's route, especially when he decided to fight the King of Heavens. Mars in Leo has a powerful force within any individual that has this placement. Leon's abiliies are known to be the most powerful and every god and goddess fear and respect him. Even Zyglavis the other department head fears him. going back to the concept of love, Leon confuses lust and love and he is apologetically thinks he knows better then what the heroine has to say about love and he gets aggressive if questioned or dissed. Leo placement folks tend to easily get offended and might lash out quickly if anyone questions their stance or actions. Leon is no exception and that plays in the role of fear and respect among all the gods in the heavens.

Jupiter in Leo

Jupiter is the planet of expansion and good fortune. Its the planet in our chart that gives us the most luck and talent wherever its positioned in the chart. I have this placement in my own birth chart (but in retrograde smh lol) and I think its shown in Leon's route with his natural charisma and excellent leadership skills. He might be feared and sought after the most but everyone relies on him the most when the going gets tough in the heavens. Even though he was cast out of the heavens for his sin, the gods still go to him for help as soon as they realize he can still use his powers. He basically is the ace and brings luck to the heavens when the going gets tough.

Saturn in Leo

Saturn is the planet of restrictions and discipline. Its considered the grandfather of all the planets. Leon is put on restriction for loosing interest in love and not doing his job to the fullest. He also is arrogant and looks down on those who don't have power like him. I see the king of heavens being like Saturn in these circumstances for he wants to teach Leon a lesson for getting too full of himself just becauae he has the most power. The entire route is basically synonymous to his Saturn in Leo that teaches him to not get cocky about himself and realize love's true meaning and to share love to all humans to be able to do his job correct. After all he is the head of the department of wishes and how could he grant wishes if he doesn’t even believe in the power of love?

Uranus in Leo

Uranus is considered one of the generational planets of change and humantarian pursuits. In the sign of Leo change is necessary on how you are viewed in the spotlight whether for a good or bad reasons. I think change occurred when Leon and 5 other gods where cut of their powers and had to figure out what their sin they needed to absolved from. Uranus is not comfortable in Leo since Uranus's original ruler is Aquarius, the opposing sign of Leo. So its no wonder Leon tried to fight the King and rallied up the other gods to go against him.

Neptune in Leo

Neptune is also a generational planet of modern day changes and the overall dreams society might strive for as a whole. Leon does have a wish to rule over the heavens and be the strongest god there ever is (spoiler alert he does in the ending of season 2 LOL) and he grows tired of the King of Heaven's sadistic ways so its no wonder he tries to go against him. I also associate Neptune in his job as head minister in department of wishes. Since dreams and wishes tend to intertwine, when it comes to granting wishes he seems to go for those of hidden desires in human's need to be center of attention. He did grant the boys need to get stronger to help his grandma as an example in his route. Wanting to be the center of attention is not inherently bad especially if its where you shine to help others in need and being the "hero".

Pluto in Leo

Now finally the planet of death is here haha that is not to say literal death but it does have association with the death and rebirth cycle. Pluto is the final generational planet that defines the exact generations itself ( such as boomers or generation z ect) each generation brings something new to the society and transformation on how things are change with changing times. Pluto is also represents what we need to change and evolve in our individual placements. Since the gods probably been around from many millions of years so Pluto's effects probably are more immediate then gradual. it took 12 chapters for Leon to learn about love and its true meaning so Pluto's transformation was more immediate for Leon then any human ever lol.

So How Accurate is the Game then?

So is the game accurate in representing Leo? Well that’s subjective they do got the negative stereotypes down of Leo's such as arrogance, over dramatic, and sadism but remember just because that is considered the bad traits doesnt mean all Leo's are like this. I have known a lot of great Leo's that are generous, entertaining and kind. In fact in my experience Leo's shine gives me hope for a better future in humanity itself. I think once Leon does realize the value in true love then that’s when more positive traits of Leo are shown. Leon is not overall horrible character he just has flaws that tend to get excused because he is the main guy and we as consumers that play this game are suppose to not care and want some of that shit he does to us because he is soooo hOt...Which is problematic but isn’t that the tea and Leo energy thrive in the drama in general even if they don't mean too. His route is the most dramatic and its only fitting that its because he's a Leo. Now a friend of mine (shouting out to u @bitch-pinnacle 😍) told me that the gods character design are similar to the Ascendant of each sign. The Ascendant is the sign that reflect your outward demeanor and how you are perceived to others. Finding your ascendant is by knowing your exact time of birth and it starts the entire house system in your birth chart. Leo rising are known to have hair like the mane of a lion and are expressive and lavish looking and tend to attract anyone to them. That definitely sounds like Leon. Even in his god form his hair is all big and long like a Leo rising are said to be like. So overall i think the game is pretty accurate its just that in the get go Leon embodies the negative side of Leo and I can see that rubbing you Leos the wrong way haha. After all if people say unpleasant things about you even if not meaning to can offend you. Leo folks in my experience get readily hurt fast if ridiculed or questioned. After all Leo is the performers of the zodiac and shine the most out in the open.

[seekingthestars]

sarah watches the untamed: liveblogging adventures, part thirty two fatal journey

(aka: tiny baby huaisang is adorable! but also ouchie)

well hi! it’s been a hot minute since we’ve found ourselves here, huh? let’s see if i remember how to liveblog ^^;;;;; but i’ve got The Buns and special movie snack (kettle corn, v delicious) so we are READY TO GOOOO gimmie all the tiny Huaisang!!!!!

i’m actually really excited about this but also somehow nervous HAHAHA i’ve been good and avoided spoilers so idk what to expect :O

this intro sequence is neat, all the cave drawings or whatnot

oh these two people are gonna die aren’t they

DUMB MOVE, BOYS

the swords are all so pretty though

okay the sudden cut and the black eyes and the weird mumble definitely made me jump for realsies fjeiwaofaw

oh yuckie, severed limbs

i was right, they’re gone

Mingjue!!!

oh hey zzj! 

HUAISANG!!!! his art piece is so prettyyyy *o* also the way he jumps up and winds his sleeves around his arms and pretends to be training omg i love him fewaoijfawe XD

NOOOO his painting got messed up ;AAAA;

the way he just said “da-ge???” is SO CUTE

Y’ALL, HE CUTE

omg huaisang did you lose your sword lol (also side note, his robes/outfit are so pretty i love it)

mingjue broke his paint brush :(((

“i just have a very ominous hunch” ME TOO HUAISANG  

huaisang’s little travel vest/robe thing!!! cute!!!!! i like his clothes so much. i love how he’s the only one who wears these brighter cream colors in a sea of medium-to-dark grays ahhhh

guangyao smirk OMINOUS HUNCH BECOMES STRONGER

OH SHOOT WHAT WAS THAT

huaisang slowly reaching over and taking the sword from zonghui fejwaoif i love him

mingjue!!!! :OO

omg the flute, oh no, have bad feeling just bc guangyao

oh dang mingue!!

hate the creepy vine, reminds me too much of snakes, i have had way too much of snakes today and they terrify me ;n; 

i just noticed huaisang grabbed a new brush to carry with him :’)

“watch out for the walls” would normally sound silly but it’s such an ominous thing to say in this context fjeiwoa

HUAISANG YOU SMART COOKIE! :D <333

also “It’s just that everyone has different things they’re good at.” i like zonghui, i hope he doesn’t die or turn out to be evil

things are not going great in mingjue’s tomb uh oh uh ohhhh

oh no one of the nie clan guys got killed trying to hold the door up for huaisang oh no huaisang’s face ;AAAAA;

oh dang argument between brothers is intense ;;;;;;;

also mingjue seeing his clan members as puppets for a sec got me Worried

OH SHIT HUAISANG

“Da-ge, it’s all my fault. I got you into trouble.” “It’s okay. When I’m here, there won’t be any problem.” ;AAAAAAAAAAA; that line’s gonna mess me up more later, i can feel it

MINGJUEEEE ;AAA;

omg tiny nie bros!!!!!!!!!

tiny huaisang is so cute omg

“Huaisang, as long as I’m alive, no matter what you wish to do, I will protect you.” YUP CRYIN’

huaisang just leaping off the edge of that cliff with no hesitation ;AAAA; drowns in nie bros feelings

mingjue where are you ;;

huaisang leaned back against the wall and the wall moved and i jumped and covered my face with my hands, somehow i feel like i should have seen that coming and yet I DIDN’T

brothers ;~~~~~~~~~~;

huaisang is such a SMART COOKIE

okay them hitting the diagram and the yin/yang symbol showing up and them being in the light/dark clothes to match UGH I LOVE IT, THANK YOU FATAL JOURNEY

i am mild to moderately worried about the fates of all these other clan members right now, i know they said they wouldn’t let anyone else die BUT i am in fact more Worried bc they said that

WAS RIGHT TO BE WORRIED

UH OH ZONGHUI D:

this cannot end well

fight sequence is v cool though

good boy huaisang woke up in time to play the music except it’s tainted and he doesn’t know it and oh god then the gold sparkles turned red and i just had to pause this entirely, i don’t like i don’t like, i don’t want zonghui to die like this :(

ouchie this hurts i’m sad :((((((((((((((((((

huaisang lying to mingjue about how they died ;;;;;; and look i know he was a side character and had like six lines but i liked zonghui i’m SAD :(

okay boop there is a bunch of text and it didn’t get translations so we put that through a translator and though said translation is ROUGH as all get out, from what i can tell we’re time skipping ahead to after mingjue dies

HUAISANG T_____T

huaisang sitting alone and clinging to the books/brush and crying just makes my heart hurt so much ;;;;

LIL DUCK PUTTING THE PIECES TOGETHER

OHHHHH GUANGYAO HE IS FREAKING COMING FOR YOU 

for how much they used zzj in promotions for this movie, i thought he’d be in more than like five minutes of it lol but also he kinda was bc his dang nefarious ways done ruiNED EVERYTHING

Guangyao misplaying the Song of Clarity was already bad enough, but knowing he taught it to Huaisang and used HUAISANG to play it and help cause Mingjue’s downfall.......his real-life true brother....oh that HURTS SO MUCH :( meng yao of the EVIL EVIL EVIL DIMPLES :((((((

but i liked it so much!! gives ALL the nie brothers feels, pokes more insight into what drove Huaisang to set his plot in motion, also getting to see more of Huaisang being the SMARTEST COOKIE which i love love love

THIS WAS A GOOD (if moderately painful) TIME

[prettyyoungtragedy]

Written in the Stars (13)

Characters: Bodyguard!Bucky Barnes x reader

Summary: You’re the type of woman who is headstrong and fiercely independent. Heiress to a fortune and one of the most brilliant minds of the 21st century. Until you’re forced into witness protection. Your “Protection” turns out to be 220 pounds of dreamy, sassy, delightful Bucky Barnes. Whatever could go wrong?

Warnings: Angst, violence, minor character death, lots of gore and evisceration. 

A/N: This chapter is dark, like super dark so I apologize in advance for it! I am nt sure about what kind of trigger warnings to put here but if you don’t like death, maybe gloss over this one or just come ask me in my inbox what happened. I hope ya’ll don’t hate me too much for that ending but I promise I will fix it all soooon! Just be patient with me hahaha! I love you all for reading this and we are almost at the end!

This was generously Beta’d by my beta @suz-123 , without whom this fic wouldn’t get done!

Links are being a bitch so you can find the whole fic in my WIP masterlist in my bio!

Taglist is closed, Sorry guys!

The first thing you feel when your consciousness awakes is the tight feeling of your wrists bound behind you, and the ache in your shoulders from how far back they are bound. Gasping for air, you forced your eyes open slowly, feeling the dull throb coming from behind your eyes, there is dried blood cracking on the side of your face as you winced.

Your consciousness slowly allowing your mind to awaken and your heart rate immediately spiking as you remembered what had happened. 

Your eyes register the space you are in, a dimly lit room, there’s a metal table nearby, on it is an array of tools, and you immediately knew what they were for. Your vision blurs for a moment and you breathed slowly, your head dropping forward as lethargy surged through you, clearly, you had been drugged.

The metallic taste in your mouth led you to believe it was some kind of Rohypnol. You shake your head trying to rid yourself of the feeling, and jostle the cuffs that held your body to the chair your wrist protesting in pain as the broken knuckles ached. You’re still wearing the dress from earlier, you don’t know how much earlier, but it’s slightly ruined now. There are rips and tears in the silk, and there are streaks of mud and grime on it from the struggle you had put up earlier when Arcas was dragging you into that blacked out car. 

“What the fuck,” You muttered but you already knew who was behind this. That fucking prick traitor Arcas, anger surged through you at the thought of him. All these months that asshole was biding his time, plotting against you all while protecting you. 

What a cunt, you thought. 

The sound of metal clanking behind you startled you, and you tried to twist around in the direction of it but your wrists and shoulders protested in pain. You hear footsteps approach you and stop directly behind you.

“Arcas?” You whispered,

You feel them lean down and place their lips close to your ear, feel their hot breath against your neck, and you shudder with disgust.

“Guess again?” A male voice, distinctive, so familiar.

Then the figure stepped out from behind you, and into the light. Your breath hitching in your throat at the sight of the man before you,  You immediately recognize him, Baron Strucker.

“Strucker,” You spat,

“Good to see you again, doctor.” Baron Strucker smirked at you and you shivered. 

This was a man who had done more harm to humanity that one could even speak about. He was the one scientist after Zola that had done irreparable damage to so many lives while he worked for Hydra. He was cold, a sociopath with very little care for human life. 

You knew this because you’d seen the files of his work and shuddered to think of all the undocumented experiments he had performed on the numerous others who suffered at his hands. 

“Hydra’s number one experimental asshole.”

“I thought that was you,” He smirked at you,

You frowned at his response, “What the hell is that supposed to mean?”

“Don’t act like you don’t remember all the magic you cooked up in that lab of yours,” He sneered, “You might play the damsel in distress to those circus freaks and they believe it, but we knew who you really are,”

“I have no fucking idea what you’re on about, buddy,” You jeered at him, you knew it was probably a bad idea to antagonize him, considering your current situation but, what the hell, you were probably going to die anyway, might as well be on your own terms.

“I’d be a little less of bitch right now,” He sneered, “You don’t hold all the cards here, I do.”

“Is that supposed to scare me?” Oh god what is wrong with you, just shut up!

“No, but there are ways I could scare you, ways unique to a woman,” 

“You do know if you touch me, he’s going to kill you all right?” 

“Let him try, he wouldn’t be the first asset we put down like the dogs they are.” 

Your heart lurches, they were going to try and kill Bucky. But no, he would be fine. You knew Bucky would be fine, he could take care of himself and he was going to come and get you and kill all these assholes. But did he know you were missing yet? 

“You’re a fucking asshole, you know that.” You spat, 

Strucker laughed and shook his head, “Call me all the names you want, none of it is going to matter in the end.” 

“Okay then you are a cock sucking,shit eating, dirt bag.” You grinned at Strucker jeeringly, anger flashed across his face and he slammed the back of his hand across your face. 

You gasped in pain as your face is whipped to the side, pain lancing across your cheekbone and jaw, your lip splits and you can taste the blood. 

You laughed, “You hit like a fucking girl,” 

Why couldn’t you just shut the fuck up!

Again Strucker strikes you, and this time the pain is worse but you aren’t going to give him the satisfaction of knowing he’s hurting you so you laughed softly again. 

“I hit harder than that,” 

“Shut up you bitch!” Strucker grabbed you by the neck and lifted your face up toward his. The anger in his eyes is evident as he glared at you. 

“You know, you always were an insufferable bitch.” He seethed, “You’re lucky you were useful to us,” 

You frowned at him, what the hell did that mean. 

“After all you created the serum which gave us our new assets.” The confident smugness with which he said this made your heart stop. 

“What the fuck do you mean?” You said sounding a lot more afraid than you had intended to. 

“Let me show you,”

Strucker moved a few feet in front of you and flipped a switch, a screen suddenly illuminating the dark room and you squinted at the bright light. There was a pause before Strucker pressed a button and a video began to play.

The screen displayed a boy, he couldn’t have been older than eighteen, strapped to a metal table. There was an IV hooked up to him, and he was writhing in agony while the green liquid in the IV slowly drained into his body.

The smile on Strucker’s face made your blood run cold, your heart began to thump in your chest harder and harder with each passing second of the video, you watched the boy choke and his body shudder while he tried to scream until he stilled unmoving with cold, wide eyes, the color drained from his face.

“Test subject 18, male, unresponsive to the serum. Failure due to subject death.” The voice on the screen announced with such disinterest you felt sick to your stomach bile rising in your throat.

“What the hell,” You whispered in horror,

The video changed again and again to different subjects before you couldn’t take it anymore.

“Please stop, please.” You begged, “Why are you showing me this?”

“Because you created the serum that gave us new soldiers, see these were our failures, but then we realized if we kept letting you work, you would figure out a way to create what we wanted. For all your brilliance you never realized, your work wasn’t a cure to anything but some sort of replica serum that was used on Captain America all those years ago. You just modified it to benefit some aspects only,”

“No, no no. That serum was for trauma patients, to cure cancer. We weren’t even testing it, you can't...you couldn’t...it...was not mine. I would have known.” You tried to form a coherent sentence but words were failing you at that moment,

Your mind was racing, they couldn’t have replicated the super soldier serum, even though at some point you used some of Dr. Erskine's formula, it was just a small part of what you were doing.

“Why would I lie about something like this?” Strucker said, smugly grinning at you.

“They will stop you, none of you will get away with this.” You said through gritted teeth, tears pricking in the corner of your eyes. All that work, years of research and development and it had all gone into helping Hydra create more monsters.

“I wonder what your soldier will say now that he knows the woman he’s falling so deeply in love with was creating the same thing that was used to make him a compliant killer,” Strucker stalked closer towards you coming to a stop before you, “You see, Josef has been good to us, he placed those files for the soldier to find. We thought they'd show you, especially our Winter Soldier, but it seems his feelings for you have clouded his judgment. He’s seen the footage. Do you think he will come for you after seeing what your work has done?”  

Who the fuck was Josef? You thought. then slowly it dawned on you...Arcas was part of the Winter Soldier program and your blood ran cold. 

“What...Bucky knew?”

Did Bucky know? Is that why he had taken himself off your detail and stopped coming around? There were a million thoughts going through your head at that moment but you don’t respond, instead, your anger gets the best of you and you spat in Strucker’s face, before violently trying to shove yourself off the chair in an attempt to get at him. It was a futile attempt, but your anger wasn’t letting you think properly at that moment.

Strucker laughed and wiped his hand across his face, “Your hubris always was going to be your downfall, too bad you won’t be around to see the wonders your work will do for Hydra,”

You opened your mouth to respond but he never gives you a chance to, instead he hits you across the head with his fist and everything blacks out again.

~~~

You slip in and out of consciousness, you vaguely feel a presence in the room as they insert a needle into your arm. Your vision swims and you feel cold, so cold for some reason.

You try to speak but your words are escaping you, there’s something fighting in your mind a sort of consciousness that screams at what is being done to you but you’re too lethargic to fight it, so your mind screams again and again.

Cold metal against your bare skin and you feel like ice is injected into your veins and this time s a scream is torn from your throat, one that is so terrifying it scares that voice inside your head silent.

~~~

Bucky stands in the middle of the crowded room, there is a flurry of commotion around him, but he hears nothing. It’s as if his world has come to a standstill and everyone around him is a blur. His heart beats slow and hard, he can hear the blood rushing through his veins and feel the slow steady beat of it against his rib cage.

His mind is slipping, he is teetering dangerously on that cliff between him and the Soldier. The slow burn anger that is coursing through his veins at that moment scares a small part of him, but he doesn’t stop it. He doesn’t take a beat, he needs this to fuel him.

Bucky is angry, at Steve, at Tony, at Arcas, at Hydra but most of all Bucky is angry at himself. He is angry that he never saw this, he is angry that he approved Arcas as your protection, he is angry that he’d been so blind in protecting you that he missed the most obvious of detaila. It was like they wanted him to slip up so badly it haunted him.

He berated himself from the moment you went missing when he found your watch smashed in the apartment, the broken glass everywhere, and when he walked out of your apartment with that feeling in his chest like he’d failed you.

“It’s going to be fine, Bucky,” Steve repeated again and again, but Bucky didn’t believe him, not for one second.

“This is my fault,” Bucky responded again and again and, no matter how many times everyone tried to assure him it wasn’t, he never listened.

Bucky took a deep breath and shook his head, he needed to clear his mind, needed to get out of his head for a moment. He looked around the room and feels suffocated by the flurry of people around him. Two quick strides and he wrenches open the door to the communications room and stepped out into the quieter hallway.

He immediately sprinted down the hallway to a quiet space and leaned against the wall, sucking in a deep breath as his heart began to beat erratically. Bucky closed his eyes and keeled over, he tried not to feel sick but he can’t help the bile that rises in his throat.

Panicked, Bucky can feel the fear rising inside him. He hadn’t had a panic attack in years and he’d forgotten how it felt. It reminded him of drowning and no matter how much he struggled he couldn’t breathe or save himself.

Bucky slammed his metal arm against his chest in an attempt to get his lungs to open, but they remained locked. His mind is spinning out of control, and he’s careening off that edge, so hard.

Control, control, control. That is all it’s screaming at him, of which he had none in this situation.

Shit.shit.shit. He tries to breathe again, and he hits the wall with his fist. Once, twice, thrice, each time his fist lands against the concrete it spiders and cracks further, almost rocking the entire floor.

Until the concrete visibly gives way and his metal fist flies through the wall sending chunks of concrete flying across the way, Bucky screams in frustration and whirled around feeling helpless.

Behind him, Steve, Sam, and Tony all stand there looking at him wide-eyed. Concern is plastered across Steve’s face, and Sam’s too. Tony had an understanding expression on his face, which surprises Bucky.

“Buck-” Steve started to say,

“Unless you’re here to tell me you have something, I don’t fucking care what you have to say,” Bucky snarled,

“We do,” Sam said quickly grabbing the tablet from Steve’s hands and approaching Bucky. He immediately grabbed the tablet from Sam and looked at it.

“What am I looking at?” Bucky asked frowning down at the fuzzy picture before him,

“That is the car she was taken in, it was registered to Jasper Sitwell and since we know he’s not alive, I am assuming it was Arcas whose driving it.” Sam said,

“We tracked the car via satellite to a location in Jersey, we have a STRIKE team ready to go,” Steve said,

“So what the fuck are we standing around for?” Was all Bucky said.

~~~

Cold, so cold. Why is it so cold, your mind is fuzzy.

Forcing your eyes open, you can’t see, everything is a haze. It’s cold, why is it so cold. It’s like pure frost injected into your veins, why do you feel like this, what have they done to you.

You try to speak but you can’t move your jaw is locked, it’s like your lungs are seizing up but you can still breathe, a strangled sound coming from your throat, your eyelids are heavy like lead is poured into your eyes, then, slowly, you feel the current shoot through your body and suddenly you feel like your body is on fire, your mind is screaming but no sound comes out.

You can’t move, you can’t stop the pain, the blinding, searing, terrifying pain.

A single strangled cry escapes your throat and your eyes flutter shut, whiting out.

What the fuck had they done to you.

~~~

He stepped out of the weapons vault, sliding the gun in his hand into the thigh holster. Everyone in the room falls silent, their eyes turned toward the pause feels tangible.

Bucky is decked out in head to toe black, the suit he wears is so eerily similar to that of the Winter Soldier, a stealth suit designed by Tony for missions that required a certain level of anonymity. Guns strapped to his body, knives in their smooth holders, his metal arm looked daunting bare and glinting in the light. He has so many weapons on him it’s hard to say where he ended and they started. His expression is hard and deadly, and Steve sucked in a slow deep breath as his eyes roamed over his best friend.

No, this wasn’t his best friend anymore, this was the Soldier, This was death personified, this was Ares. 

“Ready?” Steve asked softly,

Bucky’s cold eyes met his, and Steve had a momentary flashback to standing on that bridge in front of the Winter Soldier who was ready to kill him. He watched as Bucky just nodded at him and picked something off one of the shelves before he stalked out of the vault, looking every bit like the killer Hydra had made him into.

~~~

“Two entrances, one here and here.” Steve said pointing to the blueprint of the building where they had been led to, “Sam  will go through the east, Bucky and I will take the west entrance, STRIKE will hold back until we give the order that she is in there, our priority is to get her out alive, minimum casualties.”

“No,” Bucky shook his head, “I will go in alone,” 

“Bucky-” 

“This isn’t a negotiation. I go in alone.” The authority in his voice stilled Steve for a moment 

He looked around at the people standing before him, his eyes landing on back Bucky who stood with a scowl on his face, arms crossed over his chest and eyes hard. He could see Bucky making his own plan in his head, nothing any of them said at that moment was going to make a difference. He’d already made up his mind here.

“Bucky?” Sam said quietly as the STRIKE team all moved off to go prepare in their positions, “Are you sure you’re okay to do this?”

Bucky looked up at Sam and then at Steve, his cold gaze seemed to barely recognize them as he regarded them, Sam’s question barely phasing him at that moment as all he felt was the rage, cold, hard rage.

“Don’t as me stupid fucking questions,” He replied coolly,

“We just don’t want you to do something that brings back-”

“I don’t care,” Bucky interrupted him, “They want the Soldier, I will give them the Soldier.”

Then Steve and Sam watched Bucky raise that black mask to his face, the one that brought back memories of death, and winter, the one he’d been forced to wear, the one that stripped him of his identity and replaced him with the Winter Soldier and put it on.

It was like a different person stood before them at that moment, a person neither of them recognized yet both of them felt a ripple of fear run through them as they looked at his visage.

~~~

“Herr Strucker, they’re here,”

Strucker turned to his soldiers, hands clasped fast behind his back and he looks over him. His creations, his projects, his successes. Each as strong as the next, they stood before him armed and dangerous, as young as they were they were strong enough to take on the Avengers. He believed this with all his heart, this time he would win.

“Kill them all,” He said calmly, “But bring me our asset, I want him to watch when I kill her.”

~~~

Bucky no longer sees the faces of the men he’s killed, all he feels is rage. His mind blocked out everything else and focused on that rage that fueled him. His mind is blank save for one thought, save her or die trying.

He tosses aside the gun, it clatters to the floor as he stepped over the lifeless body of one of Strucker’s men who he had just put six bullets in his head. Was it excessive? Absolutely, but Bucky doesn’t care.

This is who he is, this part of him was always there, waiting calmly in the dark to be released, and it was gleeful for this moment. Bucky could be the monster they made him, he would show them just how capable he was of tearing out their hearts and watching them die with a smile on his face.

They created him, and now he was going to destroy them.

As he rounded the corner, another soldier comes at him. Bucky easily sidestepped his attack, and wrenched the serrated edge knife from its holster on his thigh and faster than lightning he slammed it into the soldier’s jugular, blood spraying everywhere and all over him.

He doesn’t flinch as the warm red liquid drips down the side of his face, Bucky watched with disinterested eyes as he pulled the blood-covered knife out of the young soldier’s neck and watched him crumple to the ground clutching his wound in a futile attempt to save himself.

Bucky kicked him aside and kept moving through the dark hallway, he had been through at least two dozen soldiers, already. Behind him lay a trail of dead bodies, blood and gore, and dying soldiers.

He kicked open one of the metal doors in the hallway, and two soldiers rush at him. Firing off their weapons, a bullet nicks his cheek a second before he whipped his face out of its path. He feels the sting the bullet leaves behind and both soldiers freeze when they see the new fury settling over his face.

They know who he is, they have seen that mask before, they have seen the footage. It was footage they had been trained with, but none of them anywhere near his caliber of fighting.

He surged forward and grabbed the barrel of the closest soldiers gun, he wrenched it from his hands and kicked him in the chest sending him flying backward. The other soldier who couldn’t have been older than eighteen pulled out his knife and ran at him. Big mistake, Bucky could see the sloppiness in their fighting, they weren’t trained like he was, or they were, but weren’t good enough.

Knocking his attacker back with his metal fist, Bucky grabbed the knife from him and plunged it into his abdomen, watching as the young soldiers face contorted with pain and shock before Bucky eviscerated him. Letting him fall to his knees before him, clutching his stomach and screaming.

His screams mean nothing to Bucky at that moment, they all deserved to die. Stone-faced, he kicked him aside again and stalked down the dark hallway again.  

This was the Winter Soldier, this is who he was.

~~~

In your fugue state, you heard the screams and the battle going on around you but you couldn’t find it in you to get up. They had you in a chair again, tied up and barely awake, your head drooped towards your chest, and your mind fuzzy.

You hear voices around you but you can’t make out anything distinct. There are shouts in the room and the sound of glass breaking. Finally, you forced your eyes open and dragged your head up to look around you.

You see Arcas standing beside you with a gun in his hand and a few feet in front of him is Strucker. They are both facing the door, clearly anticipating someone’s arrival.

Your mind immediately goes to Bucky. Had he come for you? Was that what all the commotion was?

Then suddenly the door flies open, almost being ripped off its hinges as it’s kicked up, and in steps a visage of a man that made your heart stop.

The stark black of his suit, covered in blood and grime, and that mask that hid his face, but the coldness in those starlight eyes shone brightly. Your heart jumped, even in this fugue state you would know those eyes anywhere.

Bucky. no this was not Bucky this was the Winter Soldier.

Arcas and Strucker both raised their weapons at him and Bucky halted his movements, his eyes going to you in the chair, tied up, beaten, bruised and then to the two men who stood before him and he took a step towards them, rage radiating off him like a cloud of black.

“Ah ah! Move and I shoot her,” Arcas said turning the gun on you, and Bucky froze.

“Nice of you to finally join us,” Strucker said calmly, his gun still pointed at Bucky, “I see you are still well trained in doing your job, is there anyone left alive out there?

Bucky remained silent, his eyes suddenly glued on Arcas and the gun pointed in your direction, his heart thundering in his chest. The moment he laid eyes on you, in that chair all that rage disappeared and was replaced with fear.

His heart constricted at the sight of you, there was no way he could get to you and take out both Arcas and Strucker at the same time. He weighed his options in his mind, eyes moving between the two men and then, slowly, Bucky removed the black mask, letting it fall to the ground.

“Ah, there he is,” Strucker said with a smug smirk,

“What do you want?” Bucky asked through gritted teeth, he is trying to calm himself down but slow panic is rising in his chest. He needed Sam and Steve to get here, and quickly. The longer Arcas pointed the gun at you the less in control Bucky felt.

“What do I want? Such a loaded question,” Strucker chuckled,

“Enlighten me then?” 

Strucker paused for a moment then spoke, “You see, after all these years you are no longer important to us. We have created a new breed of super soldiers you and your Captain are archaic, those that you killed in out there they are merely a testing phase group. And it was all thanks to your little girlfriend here that we are able to experiment on these soldiers. See we plan on making them better, faster, stronger, more...compliant than you were.”

Strucker stepped back and moved towards Arcas, placing a hand on his shoulder. “And Josef here is our prize-winning pupil. He is the new Winter Soldier, he was able to remain in your presence for almost a year without you detecting him. He infiltrated your organization and fed us intelligence so effortlessly that even our favorite asset didn’t detect him.”

Bucky glared at Arcas, feeling rage building up inside him again. He had approved Arcas, he had allowed him into your life, into your protection detail. How could he have been so stupid, so careless with your safety.

“And he has played his part brilliantly,” Strucker continued, “Of course the good doctor here has made it her life's mission to foil our plans and is now the only person who can replicate the serum for us so we have to take some...precautions, to ensure that our asset, if you will, won’t be giving us more trouble any time soon.”

“What did you do to her?” Bucky demanded taking a step towards them, clenching his fists at his side. He looked at you and sees you looking up at him with weak dazed eyes, his heart constricts again.

Strucker laughed, and just shook his head. “Nothing that you need to worry about,”

“What do you fucking want?” His rage is bubbling over, Bucky wants this to end, he needs it to.

“To watch you suffer,” Strucker said simply, then he nodded at Arcas, who looked at Bucky with a sinister smile on his face.

Then it happened, the gun goes off. 

Once, twice, thrice, and Bucky’s entire world stopped, a strangled horrified howl escaping his throat.

[mtvswatches]

Wynonna Earp 1x05 Digging Up Bones

Spoilers disclaimer (please read before sending messages or writing comments.)

Stray thoughts

1) Does Wynonna have prophetic dreams like Buffy? I mean, she’s obviously haunted by her dad’s and sister’s deaths, but I can’t help but think there must be some underlying meaning to her nightmares…

2) #same

And something about the camera angle and the lighting gives this scene a dream-like quality? Is she still dreaming?

3) Ugh this dude is still there?

Well, I guess not any more…

4) 😊

I love how distracted Wynonna is by looking at Dolls because, let’s be real, who wouldn’t?

5) I’m guessing Wynonna has some kind of history with this judge guy.

6) What do you know, Purgatory is as corrupted as Sunnydale or Neptune. But at least Dolls knows how to play the game.

7) See? They are a Scooby Gang!

DOLLS: Waverly will stake the place out during the raid and photograph anyone she sees. Doc will come down, see if he recognizes anyone - from the old days.

8)

WYNONNA: Aw, there's a little rebel in there.

DOLLS: Not that little.

9) The creepy-crawler dude has it out for Doc, but like, Doc only did what Bobo ordered him to?

10) I feel Wynonna not playing by the rules is going to be both her saving grace and her downfall in this journey. For instance, she pushed the situation at the trailer park until she got what she wanted – she got Bobo arrested. But Bobo saw Waverly taking pictures, and we know Bobo has a special place in his heart for Waverly…

11) I agree with Dolls, though. Wynonna will have to learn when to play by the rules and when to break them. She needs to learn to walk that thin line because if she doesn’t, it could backfire.

12) Holy shit, this scene!

My heart was thumping during their whole exchange, it was so tense and scary. For the first time, I was legit terrified of Bobo and what he could do. I mean, I don’t think there was much he could do (although I suspect he could’ve broken free if he’d wanted to, he was probably just being smart and trying to play nice.) But just the way he stared at Waverly and talked to her and pointed at her? CHILLS.

And this?

WAVERLY: Why, when I was little, did you choose me to manipulate? Huh? Because I was gullible? Weak?

BOBO: Weak is something you've never been. I chose you because you were angry.

WAVERLY: I wasn't angry.

BOBO: You sure?

WAVERLY: I'm not, OK?

BOBO: You've got depths that neither of us know the bottom of yet. Trust me.

What will be these depths Bobo is talking about?

13) WHAT THE FUCK!!! HOW DID HE DO THAT!!!

Like, he couldn’t use it, but damn if he didn’t prove a point! And what type of superpowers does he have? And WHY? What makes him more special than the rest of the revenants? Is it the fact that he knows the name of the Stone Witch?

14)  Miss Stone? Is she the Stone Witch????

15) Wynonna just got kidnapped by a revenant and guess which is the dynamic duo coming to the rescue?

16) If it wasn’t the judge the one who tipped Bobo off about the raid, then who was it? There were only so many people who knew it was going down, right?

17) So this guy conveniently knows who The Seven are? He even has photographic evidence? And he’s Doc’s bestie, apparently?

18) Is Bobo being… abused?

19) She’s definitely the Stone Witch. Constance or Clootie or Miss Stone.

20) Okay…

This was some twisted fifty shades of weird stuff. What type of relationship do they have? He’s suggested he has some power because he knows the Stone Witch’s real name, which is why he’s the only one who can leave the Ghost River triangle limits. So I assumed that gave him some power over her, but it seems he’s totally submissive in their relationship? And what did she mean when she said that she could “hear them”? I don’t think she’s talking about the revenants…

21) How did Wynonna not realize that this dude was gay? Like, he was drooling over Doc. Then again, who wouldn’t be? Also, I really love the implications that Doc probably knew about his sexuality and was supportive of him? That’s some progressive shit for the Far West…

22) She keeps staring at his lips as he talks and I’m here for this shit…

23) “Earps. Always trying to cut filthy little deals whenever it suits them.” Is he talking about Wynonna’s father? And what type of filthy deal did he cut? Will we find out?

24) Oh, this fucking dude is channeling her father’s voice! That’s messed up!

25) This reminded me of Buffy in When She Was Bad…

26) Creepy Crawler Dude was the photographer! Does this mean that Doc knew who he was when he pushed him over the limits and tied him up? Like, he met up with his old buddy and knew that he’d given his soul mate a death sentence and didn’t say anything?

27) Did this dude really think he’d remind Wynonna of what they’d done to her sister and she’d let him live?

28) Ha!

It’s science.

Favorite out-of-context line.

29) Hahaha I died! The boobs didn’t work, Doc had to flirt with the ladies!

30) Dolls stopped playing by the rules when the judge insulted Wynonna. And is the judge a fucking child molester? I hope someone gets to cut his dick off.

31) I couldn’t take this scene seriously because of his fucking face hahahaha!

Did she put a spell on him or something?

32) Okay, Doc didn’t know that Levi was Fish’s partner. That makes me feel better about him chaining him up.

33) Eeewwww he chewed off his foot????

I thought he’d just cut it off!

And I just realized maybe that was barely any better.

34) Will this give Wynonna a different perspective on revenants?

I mean, how can it not?

I really love this idea that not all revenants are psychopathic criminals, and that some were people who made poor choices in life. It cannot be all black or white, and I think this will probably be one of the toughest lessons Wynonna will have to learn.

She’s gonna kill them and I’m not ready for it.

35) What the fuck is her deal?

Who are her boys? What is this “lead” she’s promised Bobo? And why is she scared of Doc? It didn’t seem that way when they met earlier…

36) holY FUCJJLASLDJLAD

I literally spent 5 minutes rewatching that scene… It really caught me off guard, and I was so caught up in what they were talking about because it felt like a defining moment for both of them, you know? Wynonna coming to the realization that she cannot be driven only by revenge, and that she needs to face the fact that not all revenants are demons; Doc defining himself as a monster and embracing his thirst for revenge, even though it seems he’s blaming Constance for a choice he made? And then Doc saying that he and Wynonna are exactly the same… and then… yeah, that was a defining moment for both of them, alright...

Damn, that was hot. I think it’s going on my Epic First Kisses list. Damn. I need to watch that again, excuse me.

I really didn’t expect them to go there this soon into the show? Like, the chemistry between Wynonna and Doc was obviously off the charts, but I thought the writers might want to milk the UST for a while before getting them together? Or maybe they would keep the sexual tension unresolved?

And now I’m freaking out because I fear it might be a one-time thing? Please don’t let it be a one-time thing.

37) Why was Doc in that well, by the way? Did I miss it or hasn’t it been explained yet?

38) Oh shit…

That’s probably the last picture of the Earp sisters together, isn’t it?

39) OH FUCK

So it was the fucking child molester the one who tipped off Bobo!!

40) Now that was some an episode alright! The plot advanced A LOT: we saw the face of the Stone Witch and learned a little bit more about her relationship with Bobo – although I still have so many questions! Waverly confronted Bobo and he hinted at her having some powers, we’re learning more about the involvement of the authorities in covering up the revenants and their dirty deeds, Wynonna learned that she cannot be driven by revenge and WYNONNA AND DOC FUCKING KISSED.

Also, I died!

This really felt like a pivotal episode, and I truly can’t wait to see the next one!

41) Hope you enjoyed my recap, and, as usual, if you’ve got this far, thank you for reading! If you enjoy my recaps and my blog, please consider supporting it on ko-fi.Thanks!

[thegreatmercutio]

Hot Topics in The Shadow World: Ratings.

 I don’t know. Rainy days and a late night shift makes you tired and yet I still wanna rant about the whatevers…hahaha. 

Topic 1: The ratings. 

There has been words going around with Shadowhunters poor ratings in the past 2 episodes. First, don’t worry…it’s only has been 2 episodes. Not enough to define anything. Shadowhunters is on Tuesday, also a hot night for many other popular shows…okay, that doesn’t help it. But listen, television isn’t the same anymore. In the United States, a common measurement tool is the Nielsen ratings…which was rooted since 1920s. So, that’s outdated. Because we live in the time of streaming…Netflix, Hulu, DVRs (does people still do this?), and the other 10,000s networks with their own websites and apps. People often watch their show, on their own time now. I do, I worked long hours and my work schedule is never consistent…So, I will miss a few episodes and will catch up on Hulu or Freeform app. Thats just life these days. So no worries. The numbers isn’t reflective. There is also the International fans and trust Netflix does know how many times you watch a show or a movie. They know!!!! They’re always watching you…hahaha. I am kidding. No, I am not. 

However, there are factors about Shadowhunters that may or may not contributed to the lower ratings. The hiatus was long. It was long. Let’s be honest.  And sadly, when topics like the polls and the competitions was being pass along on social media…Shadowhunters was still in the season 2 contents while other shows had newer materials and were more fresh in the viewers’ minds. But, I am just observing here. For example, Malec in the polls and all recent couple competitions this year was…not as heated as the past ones. Maybe because people were done with ships wars…who knows? Or people haven’t seen or heard of Malec for a long time. It’s psychological. However, all the excitement was lukewarm while waiting for the hiatus to end. 

Another factor is the controversy. Season 2 was an improvement from season one, but yet it still had it’s moments of downfall. However, perspectives are divided. Though, reality is that it was a hot mess…no matter where or what side you stand on. First, the 2x07 infamous episode. That was something. Personally, spreading hate is never good. It’s terrible. I don’t support that. However, not speaking your mind when something was poorly written and poorly directed…and very misleading than that is also something to think about. Freedom of speech. Nevertheless, I said my part on the topic. I hatred it and I was not cool with the way Malec was treated vs. the other characters and couples. It was misleading to me. However, I stayed with the show (I am very supportive of the show) and stayed optimistic that the show will improve itself. The world is changing and all we can hope is that the changes are good for us. 

The other controversy is of course…the Take Over. I am not going to say much here…but it did change the way the cast interacts with the fans…There hasn’t been a take over since then. So? Unless I miss one??? Was there any take over after that incident? Just saying. Some people did find themselves…done with the show after it. And that’s their right to do as they want. Respect. Not all the fans stayed…however, there also new fans joining the fandom too. So…you just can’t see the true statistics. 

However, it is so important to not worry. The show just started. Rating will go up and down. The network does need to promote the show more. Shadowhunters doesn’t get a lot of support…in the marketing department. Have you ever seen an Entertainment Weekly Cover special for Shadowhunters? Or see Harry, Kat, Matt, or Em on Late Night Shows? I remember walking into Hot Topic and seeing Riverdale’s merchandises. And that show is on their 2nd season. So, promotion and marketing for Shadowhunters is one of the weakness, I have ever seen for a popular show. I was kinda shock. However, the showrunners are hinting future merchandises for the show. Let’s hope. 

The strongest marketing and promotion is the fans!!!! Social media is Shadowhunters…strongest promoters. Have you guys seen the fan arts, the gifs, the videos, the color books, the hand made funkos…their amazing. The fans are the ones that trends Shadowhunters. Ep 2 had low rating but yet trended to number 1 on tumblr. That is because of the fans. 

I always tell people…that its the fans that made Shadowhunters. Yes, the crew, cast, and team is a major factor but without the fans…it is nothing. Shadowhunters is a social media driven show. The showrunners, the writers, the directors, the cast, even the make artists…and etc…interacts with the fandom…very profoundly and constant on social media. Of course, it isn’t always going to to be nice. That’s life. 

They want to hear from us. We want to hear from them. That’s feedback. 

I feel…I am talking all over the place…it’s the lack of sleep. I am not expecting anyone to read this. Just wanted to rant…hahaha. 

I just wanted say something about something. And tell people…Not to worry. Season 3 has just started…there’s a lot coming. Give it time to see it as a whole picture. Don’t stress out. Shadowhunters is Freeform’s number one show…it’s an old network (It uses to be Fox Family, then ABC family…now Freeform)…but yet it’s still young network compared to the others networks. 

Shadowhunters will be fine. It’s getting better…looking better…I see a lot of improvements but also see room for more improvements…and that’s fine too. I am excited for this season…right now, we can only wait and see. 

[socially-introverted-blog]

Love is Blind

A terrible reality show, really

But brought up a lot of things about love, relationships, and commitment that made me feel so lucky to have you.

Some topics:

1. Grand gestures of love

2. In-laws

3. Communication

4. Financial debt

5. Consistency

1. Grand gestures of love

I think when you have a childish perception of love, you only think about the big things. You think about the grand gesture that PROVED their love, emulated their willingness to be creative, go the extra mile, etc. And while it’s the stereotypical image of a visible display of affection, I find myself cringing at a lot of the grand gestures on the show. Grand gestures are really nice, no doubt about it. But I’ll never forget how the little things that add up over the years just remain as the pillars to the foundation of the love. I remember the flowers and the moon card along with the color pencils. I remember the candlelit dinner on the rooftop of our AirBnB in Taiwan. I remember the (multiple) celebrations at Spanish restaurants where you eat soggy rice (paella) with me. I love them all. But those big moments only serve to highlight the little things that you do all. the. time. You always go the extra mile for me. You’ll always. Always. Go the extra mile. The color pencils and card and flowers were all just reiterated proof that you go the extra mile (A Powerwolf pillar btw). The grand gesture is just another version of it. The part I remember most about the candlelit dinner is how you paid attention to the two options we had: one by the city lights or one where we could hear our conversation better. You’re attentive to those details. You know those details and you remember what they mean to me. Your grand gesture shows you care, even to the tiniest detail. Your compassion for others shines through when you remember my stories and take me to places that create nostalgia for me (only me too! since you’ve never experienced Spain). And you live through those moments with me. To see me happy, to see me beam over things that don’t make you necessarily beam (wet rice and overpriced salads). You put others before yourself. 100% of the time. 

2. In-Laws

I think something that intimidates me about marriage and commitment is the terrible reputation society has for in-laws. They tell me on the Western side that it’s just you and your partner, the in-laws you can only see when necessary. The Eastern side tells me that you marry all of them. They’re there forever. They are a part of every decision of your life. And while I can tell myself I take on the Western mentality of thinking, I know myself well enough that I could never ever forsake a family member, not unless I truly believed they were a terrible human being. I extend my love to everyone the same way. What you love is something I extend my love to as well. What I appreciate from the show is the topic that in the end, it’s just you and your partner. The extended family is just an additional cherry on top. So if you have great, supportive extended family members, that’s great! If you don’t, you have each other. My mom told me this and I believe her 1000%: If you have to come to a decision that puts you in a place where you choose your family or your spouse, you choose your spouse. Because that’s who you married. Not your mom or your dad. Not their expectations of you. Your spouse, whom you’ve placed all of your trust and loyalty in (not blindly of course, especially if there’s the red flags lmao). But truly, it’s you and your spouse. When everyone else is gone, it’s you who lifts me up and whom I would give anything for. “Would you be willing to give up everything in your life for them?” That’s how you know you’re ready to take that step to marriage.

3. Communication

Of course, reality TV shows have the dumbest drama... but this show was cool in that it showed a “Reunion” episode where you actually saw many of the issues in the show reach their deneuoment. I actually really appreciate seeing how immature arguments and inadequate self-reflection led to horribly disagreements. I felt like I could see outside of myself. There’s one couple that were explosively passionate with their ups and downs. She described her self as “self-sabotaging” and DING DING DING! Guess who I related to? She concluded that you have to be okay with your flaws. You have to see them for what they are and accept them. If you don’t accept them, how can you expect someone to accept them? You’ll always be fighting them, even if your partner loves you unconditionally for them. You can’t base their acceptance of your flaws for your reasoning to quell those self-doubt momentarily. YOU need to accept them. 100%. And when your ideas of yourself and that of your partner’s aligns, you will be at peace with yourself. I’m actually glad that we’ve argued. And I’m glad that you always take my hand afterwards. I hold my breath most of the time, thinking: “This is it, what I’ve done is the thing that’ll push him over the edge, this is where it ends” and you are NEVER thinking those thoughts. You’re just feeling upset at the moment. You can be upset and that can be normal. It does not mean my actions that make you upset will lead to our downfall and pain and hurt. It’s just a normal feeling. Keeping you happy 100% of the time and banking that 1-5% of the time that I don’t make you happy on you deciding you’ve had enough of me is just my own image of my self-worth. I am worth more than my ability to make you happy 100% of the time. That will not be possible. And my acceptance of that will make me stronger, which will just lead me closer to how you have and always have viewed me. I will align with the way you see me. Each argument is another opportunity to test my strength. 

4. Financial Debt

One of the women on the show had 20k in credit card debt... And damn, that sounds like such a foreign concept to me. I know my family’s got debt. But I find that responsibility to have your immediate debt like credit cards is a no-brainer. School debt, mortgage debt, etc. can wait for longer of course, but no way in HELL will I ever let myself get to that point of irresponsibility. I spoke with mom and Travis about how I would rather skimp on wedding things than to go so far into debt just for one magical moment. I’d much rather live for much longer, stress free days with less financial worry than to have the wedding of my dreams. I could have that in my actual dreams, in paintings, in Photoshop, as a random party years later when I can afford it. But no way would I bank all my happiness on one day. What actually makes me feel so secure about that is the fact that you make me feel loved every day. Every day feels like it’s this partnership. The wedding day just ties our lives legally together hahaha. But before and after it, this is what we’ve got. It doesn’t and shouldn’t change (besides the growing and changing together). But I’m okay. I’m okay without the “magical” wedding. A dress, a legal person to marry us, a $20 white dress. If we can’t afford it, I’d rather we invest in our every day. I’d deal with the offended great cousins later. I just want you, me, and the legalization of the promises we already made when we decided to do this together. I enjoy a lot of the finer things in life. But I would give up everything to enjoy life with you for longer. (I’ve slept on bamboo mats on the ground and have taken dumps next to 10 cockroaches. I may have a terrible immune system and probably die without medical insurance lmao but. I think I can endure a lot.)

5. Consistency

One of the couples don’t get married because the girl was not consistent in her love. The guy loved her soooooooooo much. And he actually said no at the altar just because she showed commitment just that one day and he couldn’t be sure if he would be signing his future away to someone who would be hot and cold like that all the time. Thank freaking God that you are who you are. I never doubt you. I could never doubt who you are. From the day I called you “Steven” to today, you’ve grown and changed a lot. But who you are-- the type of loyalty, self-sacrifice, commitment, hard work, compassion-- you’ve never wavered. Even if you tried to fight it, even at your worst. You would never purposefully go against those values (maybe just be discouraged if you feel you lost those values). I believe in you. I believe you to be the person I’m going to be with until I grow old. 

The show hasn’t changed any of these feelings, by the way. I knew them, I just don’t think I’ve ever really written it out for you. I don’t feel especially different after watching this show, just inspired to write to you. I want you to feel loved. And I want to express the love I feel from you every day.

Austin, marriage may be far away (I know I said I’d be okay with just us two and a legal person to marry us but I don’t prefer it lmao), but man, I always look forward to it. Every day I just wake up excited because I have something I want to work for. I want to be self-assured, confident, successful, and I want to build the life I see for us together. 

I’m in the daydreaming sequence right now ahaha... I’m letting myself have it. Since I know I mention it like... every day. I don’t want it to not become special one day. But man-- formulating the plan to get there... That’s the next step. 

Every day is Day 1, I learned from Powerwolf. Building myself up to be a strong and more self-assured, confident person is my goal. I believe it’ll lead me to my success. It will lead me to the financial security. It will lead me to my dreams for you and me. It will lead me closer to what you’ve always wanted for me and what I’ve always felt was out of reach for myself: To see myself the way you see me.

No question at all, you’re the one for me. I’ll never give up on this task. I’m going to make our dreams come true.

I love you!

[pokefan531]

Yuki’s Story Chapter 86 - Yuki’s Downfall

Chapter 86 Right after the embarrassment that happened to Yuki, Team Phase exposing her panties with a bear print on the back, Yuki decides to hide by the bush. She is already wearing the school uniform. Yuki: I could not believe it! Now everyone will laugh at me. I knew Team Phase are still on to us. She sits and hides the tree surrounded by bushes. Yuki: They're leaving the game. She hears people walking out and talk. Girl1: It was hilarious! I did not know Yuki had been wearing that childish panties. Guy2: She's supposed to be tough, not childish. Wow. Girl2: She wanted to be an adult, but that's just makes me not take her seriously. Guy1: Yeah. They left and Yuki is still hiding in the bushes. Yuki: It seems like my popularity ends now. I rather put on a disguise every time I come here. She starts beating red. Yuki: I did not expect this to happen. The entire school is gonna think about it. Meanwhile, Minoru and Leon are by the front gate at school. Leon: Yuki might've ran home because she feels embarrassed about what Kaname did. Minoru: Yeah, or maybe she's hiding in the school's property. Leon: Maybe. Did Yuki contact you? Minoru: I don't see her messages. Leon: Well, I'll head home. Minoru: Okay, goodbye! Minoru goes back to the locker room building. Minoru: YUKI! YUKI! Yuki hears him. Minoru: It's just me! Yuki jumps out from the bushes and goes to Minoru. Yuki: Minoru. I can't believe they got me. Minoru: I feel sorry for you. Yuki: And now everyone is gonna think about it. I said I want to be an adult, but... It's complicated. Minoru: I understand. Yuki: I don't really know if I want to come back here on Monday. Minoru: I get you. Just go home and rest, or go to a place you have in mind. Yuki: I'll head home. Minoru: Okay. Yuki left. Minoru: Hmm... Later, Yuki came home and hears Rin's voice. Yuki: Rin's here? She goes to the living room. Rin: ...And that was the entire story. Ryo: Umm...Yuki. She just came. Yuki: Rin, what are you doing? Rin: (laughs) I'm telling him the story. (laughs) Yuki, why did you wear that? Yuki: Rin, I don't appreciate you laughing about what just happened. Ryo: Rin, I told you not to laugh. Rin: And you scream like a little girl! (LAUGHS HARD) ROFL! Rin falls off the floor, laughing. Yuki: RIN! I ask you to go home! I don't want to be laughed at right now! Rin: All right. All right. I'll go leave. Yuki: Good. Ryo: Sorry, Yuki. Yuki: (breaths) School was awesome and they liked my car, until the game after school. Rin: No one is gonna take you seriously anymore! (laughs) Yuki: I thought you're heading out. Rin: I am. Rin left the house, and Ryo talks to Yuki. Ryo: So now what? Yuki: I don't really know. Team Phase did it. Ryo: Wow. Few days later, Yuki wakes up on Monday morning, and stands up from bed. Yuki: Time to be humiliated even more. Yesterday and Saturday was peaceful. Later, she walks to school, and before she goes in the front gate, she sees a lot of people inside the school property. Yuki: I an not ready for this, but let's see. Yuki goes in the front gate and they all see her entering. A hyper voice spawned. Lila: LADIES AND GENTLEMENT, WE PRESENT YOU, YUKI KORIYAMA!! Yuki: Oh no. Lila: Yuki, we have couple of questions. Yuki: I don't feel like answering. Touko throws out papers, and it's a print of Yuki's exposure. Yuki: YOU GUYS ARE SHARING IT?! Hiroshi: It's trending in Fujiwara High, Yuki. Lila: You are going nowhere! Yuki: Just let me go inside the building. AND THROW AWAY THOSE PAPERS! Lila: Hold on. Everyone has waited for you to come. So, about Friday game, we all saw the teddy bear. Yuki: Stop thinking about it! Lila: Why did you decide to wear it since you're the tough girl, and that you just turned 18? The crowds gasped. Yuki: I...I..IT'S NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS! Lila: Ohh. Not just that. You screamed like a little girl, wore childish panties, and cowardly left the game. Yuki: I HAVE A REASON TO LEAVE THE GAME! YOU EMBARRASSED ME! Lila: All we did is expose the truth you've been lying to. You said you want to be an adult and do cool adult activities, but we see that you've been childish, even you as an adult now! Yuki: I WAS TELLING THE TRUTH! Lila: Yuki, we saw the whole thing at Friday. You weren't telling the truth. Kaname: Oh. I forgot I saw you wore it a few times in the locker room. Yuki leans down to the ground. Yuki: DON'T SHARE IT OUT LOUD, YOU CREEP!!! Lila: Another one! Yuki stands up. Yuki: That doesn't mean I was lying about wanting to become an adult! Lila: No. We thought you're the tough and bravest girl in school, and that you wanted to be an adult to impress all of us. Now we start to see hidden depths about you, Yuki. Yuki: And when did everyone here decide to show up your speech now? They don't like you guys! Hiroshi: Well, the incident is a huge topic. Everyone at school loves to hear drama about everyone they know, including Friday's game! Lila: The thing is, you lied! Your girly panties showed us! Yuki goes in rage. Yuki: DANG IT! DANG IT! DANG YOU GUYS! YOU GUYS SHOULD GO TO HECK!! Everyone looked at each other. Lila: Really? Is that all you can say? Yuki: What?! I don't use profanities! So?! Lila: You're not even trying to be tough! That's why we're not taking you seriously! People around are talking, many are agreeing with them while having a little laughter. Lila: See? They know they can't take you seriously. Hiroshi: Give it up for Yuki, and her bear! Everyone is laughing at her. Lila: Hahaha! Are you wearing it now? Yuki decides not to answer. Lila: No answer? That means yes. Everyone laughs harder at Yuki. Yuki starts going to the building. Minoru feels really sad to see all of it. Minoru: They should leave her alone. I gotta follow her. Yuki sits at the back of the classroom. Yuki: I don't want to be here! I am so embarrassed. Minoru comes inside the class by Yuki. Minoru: You poor thing. Yuki: Yeah. I want to sit all the way back here for now on, so that they can't see me that much. Minoru: I see. You should tell Sensei about what they just did. Yuki: There's no point stopping it. Team Phase always plan out something and risk it. Minoru: You're right. Yuki: I am gonna have lunch by the roof top at the closet. I want you to be there, because I need your comfort. Minoru: Okay. I'll be there. Anything else? Yuki: You can find anyone here who aren't laughing at me. Minoru: All right. Later, the class started, and Yuki opened her books to cover herself, having them stand on top of the desk. Sensei: Welcome class. He sees Yuki sitting all the way back. Sensei: Yuki, can you put the books down? I don't want to mistaken you as absent. Yuki puts the books down and hears little laughers. Yuki: Here. Kaname: Remember the game? Some classmates giggle. Sensei: Stop guys! We are gonna put that whole incident awa...(laughs) He starts laughing and the class starts laughing at her. Yuki: Oh dear. Sensei: I'm sorry, Yuki. (laughs) Yuki: Look, I can't take this! I'm leaving. Yuki stands up and walks. In a few steps, she steps on a couple of marbles on the ground and falls. Everyone laughs harder at her. Yuki: This is losing my apitide. She stands up and leaves the class. The teacher is done laughing. Sensei: Haha. Umm, enough. Minoru looks a little worried. Minoru: Poor Yuki. Yuki goes to the rooftop and sits by the wall with a shadow covering her. Yuki: I don't know what else is gonna happen, but it's not looking good. She looks around. Yuki: Thankfully, no one else is around. Later, Minoru is going to the rooftop and goes to the closet door. He knocks. Yuki: It's opened. Minoru enters the room and sits with her. Yuki: Thanks for coming. Minoru: I'm worried about you. Yuki: I know. I didn't want to stay there and be laughed at and reminded about, the game. Minoru: Well, Takigawa-Sensei said you should come back after the lunch break. You're missing out a few things. Yuki: I would, but since they're all thinking about my most embarrassing moment, it's pretty hard. Minoru: Yeah. Not much was brought up after you left. The only friends who feel sorry for you are Ayano, Eru, Leon, and Lia. Yuki: Only a few, but many of them are turning out against me. Minoru: I tried to get Rin and Oka to stop laughing, but nope. Yuki: Hmm... They stayed quiet for a moment, while eating. Yuki: I assume you were in a similar situation before? Like having most people here laughing or go against you. Minoru: Just some mistreatment before we both met. Yuki: Yeah. I bet you know how it feels. Minoru: Yep. The situation may be different, so I think you get the worst of it. Yuki: It is. Something that embarrasses me as a tough and adult woman they see, and my popularity is now gone. Minoru: Yeah. Yuki: I didn't know they loosen my shorts or added a clip inside. They sneaked in my gym locker! Minoru: Wow. We knew they're always onto us. Yuki: They gotta stop acting like they give up on us. This time, they gone too far. Yuki realizes something. Yuki: Come to think of the whole thing about me lying about wanting to be an adult, I shouldn't have left the class, but I don't want to be laughed at on something... you know what. Now all of them won't take me seriously. It's humiliating. Minoru: At least I am the few who is on your side. Yuki: Only a few, but I don't know what else is gonna happen. Me performing at gym class may not be remarkable anymore, nor trying to look cool or hot to the fans. It's pretty much over! Minoru: Well, it might be true. Yuki: Yep. I won't give up on performing, but in school, I need a long break for now. Minoru looks a little worried. Later, Yuki went to her performing class. She sees two guys trying to move the buckets. Yuki: Hey guys! May I help? Boy1: Sure. Boy2: You're kidding? She lied to us. Boy1: Can you stop it? Yuki: Look. I don't want to help. Yuki walks away. Boy1: Look what you did! Boy2: Did you not hear about the incident? Later, Yuki tries performing, doing some swinging and hits the ball to the wall to reflect. Yuki looks at the people, and they either ignore her performances, or watches it without enthusiasm. Boy2: Lame. Girl1: It would be not lame if her pants gets ripped. Hahaha. Everyone laugh at her. Yuki: Now my talents are a laughing stock. The next day, she tries performing in gym class. She tried basketball and shot some hoops. Yuki looks around. Yuki: You guys want to play? Girl1: Hahahaha! You can just play on your own. Boy1: You're not tough and brave as we thought. Girl1: We can't ignore the teddy bear! A lot of people are laughing at her. Minoru sees Rin laughing. Minoru: Rin, stop. Rin: Come on. It's funny. I never thought Yuki would wear something like that. Some heard her say it and starts laughing. Yuki: Guys! Can you stop thinking about it? I wasn't lying about being an adult. Lila: Yeah. Don't forget, we saw the whole game. Yuki walks away and went to Minoru. Yuki: This is really affecting me! I can't perform or play competitions here! Minoru: People are asking me the same questions about you. Yuki: This is becoming difficult! Minoru: I know. Lia comes. Lia: Yuki. I can play a few games with you. Yuki: Thanks, but everything is occupied. No one wants me to be on their team anymore! Lia: I know. Yuki: And I also moved my locker. It's not in a gym locker room anymore because I want to change in a secret spot so no one will open my locker room again. Lia: That's smart. Yuki hears Rin laughing. Yuki: Rin, stop thinking about it! Rin: I am sorry, but I can't take you seriously. Yuki: Well, not many people wants me to be in part of their game! Rin: Hey. I wasn't the girl who screamed like a girl. Yuki: You don't get it! I was...never mind. Yuki looks at Lia. Yuki: Even my friends and fans are turning their backs against me. Lia: I tried to get Kyanna to stop laughing, but I couldn't. Minoru: Same story. They hear Lila's voice. Lila: Guys! Wanna play basketball with me?! I want to have a great competition! A lot of people are running to her. Minoru: They're now respecting Lila! Yuki: How?! Why are they doing this?! Lia: They can't do that! Yuki starts walking to her. Minoru: Yuki! Come back! Yuki talks to Lila. Lila: Hey look. Yuki's coming. Yuki comes with gasps around her. Yuki: How are you getting attention?! Lila: Because of what we did to you. I would invite you to play if we didn't see your hidden depths. Yuki: Now no one wants me on their game because you guys embarrassed me! Lila: At least I was truthful that I am already a tough adult woman, unlike you. Yuki: I wasn't lying! Lila: Hey! That thing showed us you are keeping a secret from all of us. Do you want to stay as a child? Yuki: NO! Why do you think that?!! I am tired of you making me look like I'm a woman-child. Lila: You are one! We saw everything already! Guys, do you agree? People agree with her and laughs at Yuki. Yuki: Okay! If you guys want to believe that, go ahead!! Yuki turns around and accidentally stepped on a banana and slipped. They laugh at her. Yuki: Who put that there? Kaname: Oops. (grins) The coach comes. Coach: Guys! Stop going against each other. That's no way to be a team. Behave! Yuki stands up. Coach: Are you all right? Yuki: Yeah. I'm just going away from them! Yuki walks to Minoru and Lia. Yuki: Unbelievable! They're all against me! Lia: It's so unfair! Why did they decide to like Lila all of the sudden?! Minoru: Everyone at school likes to hear rumors and drama, especially pranks. Yuki: He's right. The three went outside and talks by the bench. Yuki: Guys. Since I lost all my fans because of some prank no one should see, I have no interest of becoming a popular girl anymore! Minoru: It's sad. I don't blame you. Yuki: They ruined my reputation! I never had all of them go against me in my life. I can't perform anymore because it became a joke, and the prank made me look childish to everyone. Lia: Yeah. I think it's best if you start leaving the whole popularity thing. Yuki: I actually want to do that. I want to be a normal student like you both. Popularity is now a difficult task, especially in school. Minoru: Seems like it. Yuki: Look guys, I don't want to give up on doing athletic performances here, but they don't enjoy it anymore. Since they took my reputation away, I want to retire of being the most popular girl. No one wants any part of me anymore. She starts dropping tears. Yuki: I don't want to lose any friends. I am afraid if I lose more just because I just retire from popularity. Lia: Yuki, we both understand you. Nothing would change much. Minoru: One day, you will get your friends back. I believe it. Yuki: I hope so. She hugs both Minoru and Lia. Later, Rin is about to leave the school. She sees Minoru coming out from the school. Minoru: Rin! Rin: Yes, Minoru. Minoru stopped by her. Minoru: Look, Yuki is your friend, and she's not doing well because she lost her reputation. Rin: It's not my fault she wore that underwear. Minoru: They pranked her. Have you ever got an embarrassing moment at any school in your life? Rin: Well, I don't have one in that level. Minoru: I mean, you once accidentally farted in study hall at front of us. Rin: Oh? She thinks back when she was walking out from the study hall, and farted accidentally. Rin: Oh yeah. I can't believe you guys heard it. It was the most embarrassing thing in my life. Minoru: That's how Yuki is feeling. Rin: Well, unlike mine, she seems to have a secret on her own. Minoru: Don't you keep secrets with Retasu? Rin: I...I do, but none of them was that embarrassing. Minoru: Whether Yuki does or not, please stop laughing at her. She doesn't want to perform anymore. I feel sad for Yuki because she got pranked and that got her reputation thrown out that badly. Rin: Well...o...ok. I will stop. Minoru: Good. Rin: But, I'm thinking she has a secret. Do you think she does? Minoru: I don't know the secret you're thinking. Rin: The secret is she probably has few childish habits in her that she can't let it go. Minoru: I couldn't speculate. Everyone has their own secrets they're embarrassed of. Rin: I know, but she is the tough girl, and said she wants to be an adult. Minoru: Yeah, but Yuki isn't really lying about it. I know she acts immature at times, but they're for fun. Rin: You're right. Minoru: Look, Yuki may have a little secret or not, but don't rub it in. Rin: If you say so. Minoru: I'll go home. See you tomorrow. I hope you understand what I said. Rin: All right. Bye! They both left school. Next Chapter: Yuki's Super Secret Yuki is enjoying a new life of being a normal school kid, and started getting used to it. However, some people are still laughing at her for the prank that happened already. Yuki has some secret she doesn't want to share. What is her secret? Tune in next time!