#MY CLASSICAL MEXICAN STEREOTYPE

[random-conspiracy]

Hahaha.. I want Hussies head in my desk tomorrow.

[atqxl]

My Ninja appearance head-canon

Note for me(and others who wonder my interpretation)

Focused on pre-S8 design, especially S1-S2.

Mostly Asian or European in my headcanon, and I don't think deeply about their gender or sexuality. Just an appearance note for my further drawings.

Zane

Scandinavian or Northeastern European. Russian is great too (Actually this is STUNNING that mad scientist dad who ran away from soviet union and raised his futuristic robot son in secluded forest OH MY GOD)

183cm (6 ft), quite heavy due to his metallic body

Platinum blonde, sky blue eyes, pale skin.

Cold and stern look but smiles always. THE SCIENTIST'S DAVID STATUE. BEAUTIFUL.

Snow leopard or Wolf.

Cole

Northeastern Asian, Chinese or Korean. Sometimes West Asian or Latin American?

I don't care about his ethnic. I usually think of him as Chinese actor(Lou is definitely Chinese, I can say that. I FELT that Chinese vibe from him.) or K-Pop idol(especially Suho from EXO). Since he's inspired from Tom Cruise, I'm fine with him being white too.

Black wavy hair, black eyes with double eyelid, long eyelashes. Thick eyebrows.

Skin varies, but not a fair one. Tanned?

185cm or shorter, 80kg, very muscular.

Stern and serious face. THAT HANDSOME DUDE

Tiger

Kai

Southeastern Asian, like Vietnamese or Taiwanese with Jewish dad

Brown hair(dyed or just because of his dad), brown eyes.

175 or shorter, slender-average weight with muscle.

Resembles his father(Ray; Jewish) a lot.

Hyena or rooster.

Ray

Definitely RDJ in my headcanon.

Nya

Southeastern Asian, like Vietnamese or Taiwanese with Jewish dad

Black straight hair, black eyes. Tanned skin(darker than Kai).

165cm, skinny.

Kinda that stereotyped southeastern asian girl/woman look; mono eyelid, fox eye, flat curves, boyish look… resembles her mother(Maya; Vietnamese or Taiwanese) a lot.

Hyena or hen.

Jay

Irish.

175 or shorter, plump-average weight with less muscle.

Ginger brown hair, blue eye. Red/pinkish skin.

Resembles Olaf from Frozen series, sometimes I see Elijah Wood or Tobey Maguire in him. (Actually he's inspired from Tobey Maguire)

Poodle.

Lloyd

French (yes because of that La-Loyd meme)

114cm → 162cm → 172cm or shorter. Balanced body.

Golden, wavy hair. Green eyes. Righteous vibe.

Cute but classical handsome face. Young Mark Hamill. I sometimes see Felix from Stray Kids from him.

Golden retriever or dragon.

Just please look at this angel oh my god

Garmadon

Well he's Oni; monster now. Never think of him as a human.

But I can see Harrison Ford now lol

Wu

Blonde hair but having straight asian god beard… He even lives in some Chinese Kung-fu dojo but actually is a Japanese ninja sensei. What the heck is this lol

So really hard to guess. I stopped thinking and just consider him as some white weeaboo or something

Misako

Anna Friel I guess? I love her speaking french in Timeline(2003)

Morro

Mexican or Northeastern Asian.

168-174cm or 191cm, lean.

Straight black hair around his shoulder. Green streak in his bangs. Dark green eyes. Pale, little greenish cadaveric skin.

That typical long black haired, depressed, villain-but-has-a-reason guy. Loki, Severus Snape, whatever. Sly look.

Black snake or black cat.

I want to kill myself everytime I think of him as this two wonderful rock band guys here:

Darath

HE IS JAMES CORDEN (ignore Tom Cruise)

You know what?

For me, pure North eastern asian, Ninjago is a total shit which mixed every asian culture without any thinkings. (Thank you for not ruining my culture. Really.)

Rural area is like southeastern Asia. The monks are mostly Mongolian or Himalayan style. City, culture, food and clothing is mostly Chinese, but they named everything under the name of Japanese ninja things���

It's like… America but located in the middle of France. But their accent is Brit, but eating Italian food, and say they're Spanish themselves. How disregarding…

And Japan's ninja is actually is a cruel secret agent who mainly deals with espionage, assassination, and murder. To be honest, it's not a job that gives me that positive vibes. As civil servants and nobles, samurai were a much more recognised class.

Also their main theme: Practice of righteousness and cooperation is similar to that of a Taoist from the Central Plains(China).

It would be great if I could go and work at Lego animation team, I will tear down all these crazy white tyranny.

[brujitaadinbo]

I come in advance to congratulate all the mothers and all the women who carry out their motherhood tomorrow. With all my heart I hope it is a good stage in your life, full of blessings. Because motherhood will be desired or it will not be.

It makes me very sad when there are women who attack others, just for being mothers or because they somehow had to assume the role. First of all RESPECT because the fact of being a mother does not make you less of a woman or does not take away your value as a person, it does not make you less.

Tomorrow, here in Mexico is a day that is immensely celebrated for the mothers of every Mexican home, who fight against all odds to achieve their dreams and those of their children. This role should not be romanticized or idealized, because at the end of the day, everything in this life has its ups and downs, its good and bad sides. But we should not minimize this great work, the work of a mother, whether or not it is your children, because only we know what can be experienced and suffered for a child. I love all those girls very much, who raise their children, against all odds.

And I will not get tired of applauding, of recognizing their work and the love with which they raise and shine so much.

And I'm sorry; but I'm going to mention Bo Katan in this post, because she DECIDED on her own to interact with Grogu in a motherly way, Although no one demanded it of her, although there is no formal relationship with Din, although she is a fierce warrior with a volatile character, even though she is the leader of Mandalore.

It was a free decision that she made, SHE chose, without being forced to do anything. Because at the end of the day she feels something for Grogu, she empathizes with him, regardless of whether or not she feels something for Din or whether they are together in the end or not. She identifies with Grogu and supports him and on her part, she will support and protect him, Din and even herself know that well.

That is the beautiful thing about our freedom as women, our freedom of choice, of wanting to play a role, breaking the classic stereotypes or not allowing ourselves to be fooled by "false empowerments." We have the freedom of choice to be mothers or not, by blood or not. And no one can come and tell us otherwise. Because they are processes of our lives that, if we want, we can live them and delve into them. And if we don't want to, we can put them aside.

I have no idea if outside of Mexico they also celebrate mothers, but if not, feel included. They deserve all the love and greatest blessings in life.

Happy mothers day. this is the way.

[beachboysnatural]

My ultimate John Garfield movie recommendations (following a loose one-per-year format) in chronological order:

1. Four Daughters (1938) - this was his film debut and his performance in a supporting role was so revolutionary it immediately catapulted him to stardom, and the movie is actually pretty good too

(1,5. Daughters Courageous (1939) - if you end up really liking Four Daughters this is a good one to watch but otherwise you can skip it. You can also watch the actual sequel to Four Daughters which is Four Wives which he's technically in but not really. You do you)

2. Saturday's Children (1940) - this is not the best movie but it features a great performance from John Garfield where he is cast against type and he is having a GREAT time. Beware the tonal shifts and the sexism

(2,5. Castle on the Hudson (1940) - if you want to see a typical movie of his from this era of his career, go with this one, because it's better than the others, but that doesn't mean it's great)

3. The Sea Wolf (1941) - John Garfield has a supporting role, but this is genuinely a spectacular movie. The entire cast and atmosphere are so great

4. Pride of the Marines (1945) - John Garfield did a lot of propaganda movies during the war years. This is the best one. There's some not-great stuff in here because it was made in 1945, and at the same time, this movie has merit outside of propaganda

5. The Postman Always Rings Twice (1946) - 1946 was arguably the best year of John Garfield's career, and you could pick any of the movies he made that year and you'd have a good time. But this one has Lana Turner and it's important to the history of film noir and stuff

6. Body and Soul (1947) - this movie was his first film with his independent production company. It's considered one of the best boxing movies and so anti-capitalist that almost everyone involved got blacklisted. Definitely a must-see

7. Force of Evil (1948) - the second and last movie he made with his independent production company. It's considered one of the most influential and anti-capitalist film noirs ever made, and again, almost everyone involved got blacklisted. Another must-see

8. The Breaking Point (1950) - really, really well made and well done. The movie has a sense of dread that gets more and more intense and mixes film noir and humanity very well. Would have gotten awards attention if John Garfield hadn't been blacklisted

(8,5. He Ran All The Way (1951) - if you end up really enjoying all of these movies, his last is worth a watch, but if you don't like film noir or movies that are just plain unhappy, don't make yourself miserable. This movie's atmosphere is note-perfect)

Years skipped: 1942 - his only release this year was Tortilla Flat which relies on stereotypes about Mexican people and did not have a lot of Mexican people in the cast

1943 - lots of propaganda movies. If you're into that, Air Force is one of the better ones

1944 - same as 1943, but without airplanes

1949 - besides a cameo appearance in Jigsaw (an awful movie) his only release was We Were Strangers which is just kind of bad so don't even bother

Other movies that could be worth a watch:

Dust Be My Destiny (1939) - if you want an early John Garfield movie that is a little sucky, this is the perfect movie for you

Dangerously They Live (1941) - it's not great but it's a good time

Out of the Fog (1941) - I actually really liked this one, but it's not groundbreaking

Between Two Worlds (1944) - this kind of sucked but it was also good at the same time I hope this helped

Nobody Lives Forever (1946) - genuinely a great time!

Humoresque (1946) - it's Joan Crawford it's classical music it is DRAMA

Under My Skin (1950) - if you like feeling sad about your dad and you also like horses this is PERFECT for you

DO NOT WATCH:

Juarez (1939) - horrendous. I can't believe I wasted two hours of my life watching this movie

East of the River (1940) - John Garfield went on suspension at least twice trying to avoid doing this movie and it is obvious why

[byneddiedingo]

Linda Darnell and Henry Fonda in My Darling Clementine (John Ford, 1946)

Cast: Henry Fonda, Linda Darnell, Victor Mature, Cathy Downs, Walter Brennan, Tim Holt, Ward Bond, Alan Mowbray, John Ireland, Roy Roberts, Jane Darwell. Screenplay: Samuel G. Engel, Winston Miller, Sam Hellman, based on a book by Stuart N. Lake. Cinematography: Joseph MacDonald. Art direction: James Basevi, Lyle R. Wheeler. Film editing: Dorothy Spencer. Music: Cyril J. Mockridge.

Made in the twilight of the classic Western, there's something a little decadent about this West-as-it-never-was movie. In a few years, conventional Westerns would be all over TV, and Hollywood filmmakers would start turning out so-called "adult Westerns," films that did what they could to question the values and stereotypes that had been prevalent in the genre. Movies like High Noon (Fred Zinnemann, 1952) and Shane (George Stevens, 1953) would be lauded by intellectuals who would never have been caught dead at conventional Westerns. And even Ford would present a darker vision of the West's racism and brutality in The Searchers (1956). On the surface, My Darling Clementine looks like a fairy-tale version of the Old West, with its blithe disregard for actual geography: Tombstone, Ariz., and Monument Valley, Utah, are more than 350 miles apart, but Ford's movie puts the jagged buttes of the valley in every Tombstone back yard. The familiar tale of the shootout at the OK Corral has been turned into a clash of good (the Earps) vs. evil (the Clantons), in which the virtues of the former clan have been greatly exaggerated. There are some of the usual stereotypes: a drunken Indian and a Mexican (?) spitfire named Chihuahua (Linda Darnell). There's a virtuous young woman (Cathy Downs) from back east who tracks her man all the way west and when he's killed settles down to be the town schoolmarm. And yet, My Darling Clementine is one of the great Western movies in large part because Ford and screenwriters Samuel G. Engel and Winston Miller are so insouciant about their patent mythmaking. Henry Fonda is a tower of virtue as Wyatt Earp, infusing some of the integrity of his previous characters, Abraham Lincoln and Tom Joad, into the portrayal. Burly Victor Mature, though seemingly miscast as the consumptive Doc Holliday, gives a surprisingly good performance. And there's fine support from such Western standbys as Walter Brennan, Ward Bond, Tim Holt, and John Ireland. The black-and-white cinematography of Joseph MacDonald only seems to emphasize the good vs. evil fable, bringing something of the film noir to the Wild West.

[juuheizou]

give me,,,, suzumutsu hcs i want to draw them 🤭🤭🤭

HELL YEAH I'm so happy for this ask. I tried to pick extra draw-able ones, and I gave you a bunch (because I'm sorry to get to this so late) in case not all of them inspire you!

They like to go on playful, exciting dates like roller skating, bowling, or trying to win each other prizes at their nearest arcade.

But on nights in, their date of choice is a classic slumber party, always made complete by watching one of Suzuya's beloved gruesome horror movies under a blanket with Mutsuki taking comfort in Suzuya's protective cuddling and averting his eyes when Suzuya starts looking too excited, lest the grisly parts make him pass out.

Suzuya cuts his own hair and once they grow close, he cuts Mutsuki's hair too and that's why Mutsuki rocks a more layered look in later chapters.

In his spare time, Suzuya fosters bottle kittens, seniors, medically complicated cats, and behavioral problem cats from nearby shelters, sometimes until they die waiting on forever homes. They make (blank slate who never had animals before) Mutsuki nervous, but he is the one who said “we have to keep it!” to the strange influx of cute, heartbreaking foster fails Suzuya somehow ends up with shortly after letting Mutsuki into that part of his life.

Mutsuki's canon syncopal response to blood extends to a full blood-injection-injury phobia, so when he starts HRT, Suzuya administers his shots for him.

Even though Suzuya is shorter, their different styles and body types make his clothes perfectly baggy and comfortable for Mutsuki to steal when he stays the night, and he does the former often.

Suzuya has lots of dolls and plushies, which Mutsuki initially finds weird, but he eventually comes to find them endearing and has been caught sleeping with one because Suzuya was away, he missed him, and it filled the void until he dozed off.

Mutsuki got Suzuya drinking coffee. Viscerally, the concoctions of syrups and other sickeningly sweet flavor modifiers Suzuya experiments with make his stomach turn a little, but every time Suzuya finds a mixture he likes and is all “bitter goes good with sweet!” in his happy chirp, Mutsuki can't stay disgusted; Suzuya is too cute.

Suzuya often uses Mutsuki's clothes as a handle: pulling him in for a kiss by his shirt collar, grabbing the back of his coat to stop him from charging into battle without backup, even just tugging his sleeve for attention, it's grab first, communicate later.

Suzuya is the good dancer between them. Plugging another one of my long-held beliefs here, but Mutsuki defies his half-Mexican stereotypes by having no rhythm and two left feet, plus he's so shy about not being good at it, but his will is weak when it comes to Suzuya and he'll get twirled into a spontaneous dancey dance.

[revisionist-westerns]

about me

hihihi! this is one of my many sideblogs. i'm dee (they/she) and i'm white and autistic. this is a special interest sideblog for revisionist westerns. a mixture of silly and serious stuff. 60% me hating on classic westerns and john wayne.

what is a revisionist western?

well, a western is a genre set in the wild west, the period of western expansion in american history, c.1830-1930). the western was first invented in the 1900s and became popular in the 1930s with actors like john wayne. the 'golden age' of westerns was in the 1950s/60s.

common western tropes include the lone male white hero, revenge and retribution, characters who are clearly either 'good' or 'evil', the 'taming' or 'winning' of the west and a settler colonial narrative. a revisionist western is a film that seeks to subvert these tropes, while still containing the same characters and still set in the old west. revisionist westerns include sympathetic native american and mexican characters, strong female characters, more of a psychological than action-based focus, unsympathetic portrayals of the us army, and generally an anti-war, anti-military and anti-establishment tone.

i don't uncritically endorse all of the messages in revisionist westerns; many of them are fundamentally flawed and continue to promote racist stereotypes. however, i find them an interesting and underrated film genre (and generally less racist than regular westerns)

[whereareroo]

GOOSE FEATHERS

WF THOUGHTS (9/20/24).

For all of my professional career, I was surrounded by rich Republicans. It was a world that was dominated by white, Christian, men. They were nice guys. At the same time, the classic stereotypes are true. They had names like Conrad, Chester, Roscoe, and Woodward. They lived in mansions. On the weekends, they played golf at fancy restrictive country clubs.

In those days, we didn’t have migrant problems. We had goose problems. Suddenly, probably because of climate change, Canadian Geese began to invade the wealthy enclaves of lower Connecticut. The rich folks hated the geese. The geese pooped all over the manicured lawns that surrounded their mansions. The geese pooped all over their fancy golf courses. It was a major problem for rich Republicans.

The rich Republicans fought back against the nasty geese. At their homes, they deployed their dogs and their undocumented Mexican landscapers to chase the geese. In addition to using dogs and undocumented Mexican landscapers, the fancy country clubs initiated “goose control plans” that featured armies of dog decoys and various electronic noisemakers. At their homes and at their pristine clubs, the Republicans employed exterminators to spray goose nesting areas with cooking oil. The oil seals the airflow pores in goose eggs and suffocates the embryos before they hatch. I guess the Right To Life doesn’t apply to geese.

For the past ten days, I’ve been thinking about the Republican hatred for geese. We keep hearing about the false story, popularized by Trump and Vance, that “illegal” Haitian immigrants in Ohio have been stealing and eating pets. At first, the false story was about cats and dogs. When that story was debunked, it morphed into a claim that the Haitians were stealing ducks and geese from local lakes. It’s all a bunch of racist, xenophobic, bunk.

The goose story is a sad commentary on the status of the Republican Party. Everybody knows that Republicans hate geese. In 2024, it appears that their hatred for migrants now exceeds their hatred for geese. Republicans are trying to argue- -even though the underlying facts have been repeatedly debunked- -that migrants are bad people because they’re capturing geese. Isn’t that a hoot! Not too long ago, Republicans were paying migrants to capture and kill geese. Suddenly, Republicans are protectors of geese! The new Republican position is that geese are more important than people. The Republicans apparently don’t understand that geese don’t vote.

Even though I’ve gotten a giggle out of all of this, I realize that it’s a very sad situation. Trump and Vance will do anything- -such as creating false stories- -to appeal to their racist and xenophobic supporters. They do it because it works. America is full of racists and xenophobes. It’s so sad that in 2024 one of our major political parties is actively seeking support from racists and xenophobes. Do you want to go back to those days, or do you want to move forward? The choice is in our hands.

[readingaway]

Danielle Babbles About Books - Sia Martinez and the Moonlit Beginning of Everything by Raquel Vasquez Gilliland

How did you find this book? -

Okay so this is one of the many books I ended up reading (listening to) because it showed up in Scribd recommendations. Or maybe I was searching a term and it was on the results list. idr

What made you want to read it? -

I didn't feel like starting whichever book I'd planned to start so I was listening to samples from audiobooks that were within a specific range of lengths and the first few minutes of this hooked me instantly.

What parts or elements stood out to you most? -

It's the combination of very real racism and xenophobia that affects many people in the US and especially on the Mexican border with extraterrestrials with the kind of classic sci-fi plot of the main character being treated as crazy.

I also learned a few slurs that I am grateful had never crossed my way before so I know not to use them. (This is most likely because I don't have the time and emotional stability to regularly watch or read the news.) I have a knack for being oblivious to stereotypes and offensive terms until a book introduces them to me as being horrible.

Could you follow the plot? -

Yes, and I can even recall most of it now after 2+ years.

How long was it on your tbr? -

It wasn't! It would've been on my secret tbr, but not my official one, so it wasn't in the reading plan. There's always a few books that I don't necessarily want to stick on The TBR for a few different reasons (like that I already have a book by that author on there but this one is more readily available, but the other one was there first. Or whether the book might actually appeal to me or not is in question so I might start reading it when I don't feel like following my general reading goals.)

And on top of that I really enjoy sometimes reading/ listening to a book without having read the summary, or I'll purposefully skim the summary to see if I should put it on the secret TBR but refuse to remember what is described because it's exciting to read a book with no idea what it's about or what's going to happen. A lot of descriptions are too detailed or too inaccurate and it always ruins some of the suspense or gives the wrong impression. This book definitely made me want to be surprised more.

Who would you recommend this to? -

Someone who's interested in YA sci-fi and stories about how xenophobia and immigration policy hurt people.

[bigcircle-smallworld]

CULTURAL DIFFERENCES

BETWEEN ITALIA AND AMERICA!

March 6, 2023

Hello everyone! I thought I would be blogging a lot more when I first came here, but after my first post, I accidentally completely stopped! I’m hopping to blog more big things, but for now, here are some of the biggest cultural differences I’ve found in Italy compared to the U.S. 

Note: I am planning to come back and edit this and add more! I will also be translating it into a second Italian version.

SPEECH

The stereotypes here are, to a certain extent, true. Italians are expressive. I wouldn’t call it yelling, but I will say I have quite a few times mistook some other emotion for anger. 

TOUCHINESS

We know the Italians for the likes of chaste kisses to the cheek and perhaps a strange sense of touchiness, but a societal comfort with physical touch runs much deeper here. Especially young people are comfortable hugging, one-arm hugging, patting, cheek-kissing, patting on the back, and so on and so forth with everyone, especially those of the opposite gender, unlike an American teenager demographic known for being rather bashful physically. I, for one, prefer it here! At first it was a bit of a shock to see a boy with his arm around a girl and whisper in her ear while they both have respective significant others, but I’ve realized that it’s how friends are with each other. Call me old fashioned, but I do believe non-sexual physical affection is really important, and something the world could use a bit more of. As mentioned in my American comparison, it makes relationships feel closer, more casual, and more relaxed with each other. I would say a mixture of sexual taboo and aa heavily misogynistic sexual culture in America are the reason for a social overreaction and move towards politically correct distance in the past few decades at least. I think comfort inside human bodies is something very valuable.  

EATING

As all of anyone would expect, food has a different cultural standing here. It’s simply more important, for one. For lack of a better term, it’s more of a ‘thing.’ Many people leave work and school and head home for lunch everyday, so most businesses here close around the hours of 2:00 to 4:30 PM give or take. My host mom cooks both lunch and dinner every day, but lunch serves as the biggest meal of the day here, as opposed to dinner in the U.S. And, in fact, it is almost always pasta! There are exceptions, but pasta is the norm. If the pasta is simple, or there’s some reason for the meal to be bigger, there will sometimes be a second course with meat or fish, and bread is always on the table. We usually follow a meal up with some fruit, and desert if we so please. 

My favorite Italian grocery store products: 

Nutella Biscuits

Duplo bars

Plum Cakes [These do not have plums, by the way]

Taralli

Biscotti with cornflakes 

My favorite handmade foods:

Una carbonara bellissima 

My host mom’s Tiramisu

Pasta with chickpeas

A good pesto

CHEAP pizza

My morning cappuccino 

Foods I miss the most:

BAGELS!!!!!

GOOD mexican food

Good middle-eastern food [Zankou] 

Trader Joes

SCHOOL

I do not like Italian school. Apologies to the cultural differences, but I cannot stand it! Every time I have to wake up at 7AM on a Saturday morning a part of me dies. There are many, many differences between Italian schools and American schools, especially Poly. For one, you specialize quite early. Most high schools are five years and students have a few options: Liceo, with broader specialization, [Scientific, Classical, Artistic] which is followed up with university; Instituto Tecnico, which involves more specific majoring and, in the final year, internships, and which also often leads to university; and Instituto Professionale, which functions for students to go straight into specific labour fields right out of university. A host sister with my initial host family, at 14 years old, was studying to become a ship captain at an Instituto Professionale.

Within the schools, there are many more differences. For one, you're with the same class all day. Instead of choosing your own classes and moving around to different rooms all day, freshmen students are randomly assigned their classes from an alphabetical list, and stay with that class in one room for every class, while teachers are the ones who rotate through. As long as they pass their classes, they also stay with this class for their entire high school experience, meaning those 30 or so kids are the only ones you see during school, save a short break.

Speaking of, the schedule is different. School goes from 8:10 AM to 1:10 PM, getting out in time to return home for lunch, with a single 10 minute break at 11 AM. If a teacher is sick, often the class will start late or leave early, or, if thats impossible, the class will have a free hour midday. Sometimes this hour is supervised by a substitute teacher who doesn't teach, sometimes not.

SMOKING

I’ll start by saying that it’s funny how Europeans want to talk about how unhealthy Americans are, and yet… when one ventures outside into the school courtyard for our short break, a sea of teenagers smoking cigarettes or a uniquely Italian (and Japanese, actually) invention, IQOS(es), will stretch as far as the eye can see. 

WORK

There is a very popular stereotype that Europeans– and especially Italians don’t work. This is a joke more than anything that really has more to do with the uniquely fast-paced American ‘hustle culture’, however there are plenty of folks here who work quite minimally, at least compared to what I’m used to with my own family. As mentioned, they usually come home for a chunk of about two or so hours in the middle of the day, and school finishes by 1PM in time for lunch. My host mom works for about three to four hours on either end. 

GOING OUT

For American teenagers, the idea of “going out” doesn’t quite exist. We hang out with friends, and have parties and dances and whatnot, but it is distinct to how Saturday nights function here in Italy. Despite my city having a population of about 100,000 in total, about 1/40th of Los Angeles (not including suburbs!) When I leave my apartment in the center of Lecce, the streets are completely filled for almost all of downtown, which stretches over a couple kilometers. Ive never seen the amount of people that go out like this in all my time in one of the largest cities in the world.

DRINKING

Now this stuff really depends on where you’re from and how tolerant your family is in the U.S. and ditto in Italy, but drinking is generally less taboo outside of the U.S.– if I had to guess probably a leftover affect of the American prohibition. In the 21st century it really depends on the family. In mine, for example, my host sister is generally not allowed to drink in family situations. Other exchange students Ive talked to have reported the opposite. Either way, with a lowered drinking age, (Even under 18, purchasing alcohol is illegal, but drinking is not technically prohibited) it’s much more socially acceptable to see youngsters out drinking in public. On Saturday nights, many bars play music and serve as large gathering places for dozens of mainly highschool-ers to gather and drink. On holidays, even the most conservative families often offer younger ones a glass of Prosecco or wine. 

Separately, day drinking is way more common. While there are weekend exceptions, in general and especially on a work day it’s not normal for people to drink with lunch in the U.S. Perhaps it’s the fact that lunch is a the biggest meal of the day for Italians, but day drinking is much more common. 

Buon Spritz!

Italian Flag / / / / Italian High School Students Smoking

American Flag / / / / American High School Students Drinking Coffe Drinks

[thealphabetmurders]

Some tips on writing Latino OCs/characters

Avoid the stereotype of the sex-siren “fiesty” Latino tropes: This stereotype does more harm than good, as almost all classic TV representation for Latinos is shown as the big hypersexualized character. By boiling down a Latino character to simply their sexual appeal, it denies them of their cultural identification if they do not fit what non-Latinos imagine all of them look like. 

Not all Latinos speak Spanish: In fact, many Latinos do not speak Spanish that often or at all. Many times, non-bilingual/Spanish speaking individuals will write Latino characters “slipping” into speaking Spanish. This, obviously, does not happen in real life. If a Latino says something in Spanish then they meant to say it in Spanish. Here are some realistic reasons why a Latino character could say something in Spanish/Spanglish:

They are speaking to their grandparents or other people who only speak that language

For emphasis. I would sometimes speak to my partner in Spanish because I felt as though I could express myself better and more naturally (also ‘te amo’ feels more impactful than ‘I love you’, but that just may be a personal thing), but this did not occur often. 

They are short phrases that any non-Spanish speaker could pick up on. Hola, gracias, de nada, mucho mejor, qué onda, madre/parde, casa, por qué are all ones I use around my friends sometimes. Again, sometimes.

There are others I am sure, but please be careful when writing a Latino character speaking Spanish. As a Latino living in America, if I am be honest, unless speaking with other Spanish speaking individuals, I do not use the language all too often (just like any other language, weird how that happens). 

Do your research naming Latino characters: Please do not simply look up “Hispanic names” and choose the ones you like off of a list. If all your names look something like “Diego Rodriguez” then you are doing a bad job. Here are some tips: 

69% of South America is Catholic and 19% is Protestant. Using that information, you are bound to have a lot of religious names. All of my siblings are named after biblical figures. Some examples I see a lot are: Rebecca, Isaiah, Claudia, Gabriela, Marcus, Elizabeth etc.

In Latino culture, many times children take both their parents last names so their names would be hyphenated. For example: Father’s last name could be Perez-ABC and Mother’s could be Ramirez-XYZ so the child’s name would be Perez-Ramirez. 

This isn’t a hard and fast rule. If only one of the parents is Latino than most often they will simply do what most of Western culture does and take the father’s last name as the family name.

Represent many aspects of Latino culture: I far too often only see Mexican Latinos, which is great, but also there are many other countries/places to represent (Cuba, Colombia, Puerto Rico, Costa Rica, Peru, Chile, Honduras and more)

Latinos have a variety of hair colors and skin tones and body types, make them: Afro-Latino people exist, write them. White passing Latinos exist, write them (though if you are only ever writing Latinos with pale olive skin and eurocentric features, you’re doing it badly). Latino people with thick curly hair and bold features exist. Talk about it. Latinas are not just your vessel to write about “thicc” or curvy women. Petite Latinos and especially plus sized latinos need representation. Represent them. 

Latinos do not just eat ‘Mexican’ food: Stop associating all your characters with tacos and burritos. 

If you do have Latino characters don’t be afraid to make them queer or disabled or anything else under-represented. 

Avoid stereotypes altogether: The maid, the drug dealer, the sex symbol, the immigrant, we get it. That’s all we see in the media. Look up stereotypes, avoid them. It’s not “making a statement”, it’s racist, stop it. 

If you describe any Latino person as “spicy” or “exotic”..................... :) you know

Make sure the connection to their cultural background makes sense: Some Latinos have a strong connection to their country and culture, some do not. Make sure it makes sense for their family history, background, etc.

This is all I can sort of think of off the top of my head. Latino people, please feel free to add on with anything else (my experiences are a bit limited as a Puerto Rican living in America, so the more perspectives the merrier). White people and non-Latino POC’s can comment questions but please don’t clown (no “I am not latino but also...!)

Please reblog, this is important for non-Latino creators!

[lifewithdavefarts]

DaveFarts - Episode 18 “Double T” [Episode List] Tim, Dave and Tom hang out in a pub to watch a football match together. On their way back home, Dave decides to showoff his farting skills in Tim's car.

POV: Tim

Double T

“So… those Lobsters are truly kicking your ass tonight… is that correct?” I said, sporting an unnatural smug with a guy I just met tonight, Tom.

���The Wasps are gonna sting your sorry ass in a minute, just you wait.” he replied.

Dave, who had no say either way because tonight his preferred team, the Badgers, weren’t even playing, simply laughed at our very mature bickering.

Tom is a cool guy, honestly. He has kind of a hard shell (I can relate) but I can see a pretty chill personality through the cracks. I mean we’re basically insulting each other like true vitriolic buds even though we met less than 2 hours ago. He also casually mentioned that he’s gay, which is ironic because I’m instead hiding it, something that Dave noticed and is doing his best to not laugh at my paper-thin disguise of a straight person.

“Aaaand you just got stung!” Tom stood up and chugged his beer in one gulp.

I had no beer, as I was the designated driver, but I was calm. We’re in the lead and honestly those Wasps are all bark and no bite… or puncture I guess?

“It’s the second half. It’s over.” I said.

“You wish. Foster just dribbled half your crustaceans friends.”

Oh. He truly did.

“Aaaand you just got stung again. Scared, Slade?” now he was the one getting smug, and rightfully so.

If this ends in a draw I’m gonna regret waking up today.

Dave was oddly silent and I’m pretty sure he was here just to enjoy the show, the Tim&Tom show that is. And drink beer of course.

The last few minutes of the match were nerve-wrecking for both of us. Wasps and Lobsters jumped at each other throats continuously and the crowd around us didn’t even flinch as their eyes were glued to the screens.

In the end, the plot twist: the Wasps scored one last point at the last second, thus ending the match in a draw. An embarrassing, frustrating draw. Tom (and other supporters in the pub) celebrated as if they won, ‘cause as long they gave us Lobsters trouble, they were fine with it, a classic sport rivalry as old as time.

“That’s life, Tim.” Dave finally said, amused by the whole situation.

After the match we ordered another round of beers and discussed the game while being as civil as possible, which means that we basically jokingly insulted each other the whole time in a way or another. I did have a sip of beer in the process, but that’s where I stopped because of the driving-thing.

The whole accidental “mexican standoff” between Tom and me kept going, as I hid my homosexuality while he more than once casually mentioned it. I like this guy but at the same time I just met him, so I want to make sure what kind of person he is. Dave seems to trust him a lot already and as much as I trust his judgement, I want to decide for myself.

After almost 2 hours it was time to leave: we paid for our beers and left the place. My car was parked basically in front of the pub and as I reached for my key, I heard a thunder behind him.

It was Dave being an air-bender on both ends, as he this time emitted a loud belch. Not really my kink, but I do appreciate a potent display of stereotypical manliness.

“That’s how I call shotgun.” he told Tom as he walked past me to get in the passenger seat.

But Tom however quickly responded with an even louder burp, because we’re that mature. Not only it was loud, it was long and fairly impressive. At least when it comes to burps, Dave may have finally found his match.

“That’s how I call it instead.” Tom laughed and he victoriously went for the seat. Dave just smiled and accepted this rare moment of him being defeated at his own game.

Once we were in the car, Tom (after asking my permission) turned the radio on and tuned it to a radio station that played some prog-rock songs I was actually familiar with -he kept the volume low though, as we kept chatting on our way home.

Dave, who was sitting in the back seat (and occupying half of it being very tall and all), was our first stop, as he slept with his girlfriend Dana at her place tonight.

“You ok with this?” Tom asked me all of the sudden, showing me a pack of cigarettes.

“Sure, no problem. Just open the window first.” I didn’t mind, really. Not the first time I had a smoker in the front seat anyway.

Tom pulled on his cigarette and a cloud of smoke surrounded his face, which immediately dissipated because of the car window being open as I asked. The smell of ashes didn’t bother me much as I myself smoked a couple of times in the past. He then flicked his cigarette onto the roadside, casually extending his arm outside of the vehicle.

“Don’t worry, Tom.” Dave said, while mindlessly checking his phone. “Tim is used to people hot-boxing his car.”

On the rearview mirror I could see his usual smirk drawn on his face, despite the car being mostly dark. He leaned a bit, man-spreading his long, jeans-clad legs.

“You may want to get used to this.” I turned to Tom, with a deadpan expression.

“Trust me, I know.” he said back to me, taking a long puff off his cigarette, failing to hide an amused smile.

The sound being a bit muffled by the car’s seat didn’t make Dave’s fart less loud in any way: it was as powerful as they usually come. I kept my eyes glued on the road as the deep-sounding beer blast shook the car. I was by far very familiar with my bud’s farts and this one was among one of the best I heard from him in the last few weeks (how he still manages to impress me is an incredible feat on its own). Dave was still fiddling with this phone, probably messaging with Dana, while he effortlessly kept his ass roaring, as his “cool smirk” morphed into a stupid laughter when the blast reached the 10 seconds mark.

On the mirror I then saw him making a quick eye contact with me, and winked, which almost made me swerve because Dave is also a very handsome guy, which I sometimes I pretend to forget.

Tom took another puff off his cig and then stared at it for a moment. “Now I feel stupid for asking.” he joked, as Dave’s fart kept going loud and proud.

At the 16 seconds mark (one of his longest farts probably), silence, and Dave sat back normally.

��Are you finished?” I asked.

“A-Side, yes.” he laughed, as he leaned again, this time towards the other side. “B-Side however…”

And another fart erupted, which made both me and Tom laugh like idiots this time. Interestingly it was even deeper-sounding than the previous one: truly a master air-bender.

“Welcome to my life.” I turned to Tom again, with the fart easily silencing the radio.

My fart-forged friend just shook his head and laughed, more smoke coming out of his mouth. Even if we tried to keep talking about tonight’s game, we would have a hard time hearing each other because of Dave showing off his farting skills behind us. And remember: the sound was partially muffled! He’s incredible.

This second display of flatulence was however shorter as it “only” lasted 11 seconds. Thanks to the car window being open, the stench of my straight bud’s gas wasn’t that overwhelming, but it did mix a bit with Tom’s smoking, creating a peculiar aroma… that made me open my window as well while coughing.

“Ok… we were saying?” Dave chuckled.

Truth to be told I forgot what we were saying about the game… and Tom’s the same, interestingly enough. Either way, Dave farted for the whole trip as I was already parking in front of Dana’s house.

Before Dave left we did chat a bit more however, the time it took Tom to finish his cigarette. We agreed to do this whole thing again, same time same place, next week, this time with Dave driving so I’ll be able to drink.

“Take care of the house, babe.” he jokingly told me as he leaned towards me and planted an exaggerated, cartoon-ish kiss on my right cheek. “Don’t be jealous, Tom.” he then joked.

“I’ll survive.” he played along.

We made sure Dave got into Dana’s house (she actually trusted him with a copy of her keys), then turned the car around and left. Tom didn’t live far: it was a 10 minutes trip at worst.

This was actually the first time I was alone with him tonight, but honestly this guy is pretty chill. He was the one who broke the silence first however.

“Dave’s pretty cool, uh?”

“You falling in love with him?” I joked, because I’m a hypocrite.

“Are you?” he asked back, with a smirk.

I simply laughed and kept driving.

“I like how chill he is around gay people you know.”

I smiled. “Yeah, he’s always been pretty cool around me.”

It took way longer than I care to admit for me to realize…

“I-I mean y-you. He’s pretty cool around y-you” I failed at damage control.

But Tom simply lit another cigarette in response, eyes glued on me, amused.

“Don’t worry, it was obvious.”

“Wow I’m bad at this.” I simply stated.

“Yes.” he chuckled. “But it’s also me having a very spot-on gaydar.”

The conversation kind of naturally ended up being about, well, us. How did we find out, our first unrequited crush, pretty tame stuff actually (after all, we just met). Tom was a bit more rough-looking than my other buds and, as far as stereotypes go, I probably wouldn’t have guessed that he was gay had he not said it himself, but he was definitely a chill, nice guy. After all, he and Dave got along pretty fast, and my straight bud usually attracts fellow chill guys. He has some kind of aura…

10 minutes flew by as I was already parking in front of Tom’s house this time. We kept chatting a bit more however.

“You’re an actor?” I asked.

“Sort of…” he chuckled. “As of now I’m kinda stuck with your friend Greg.”

“Greg?! I’m really sorry to hear that.” I joked… maybe.

“It’s fine, y’all are pretty chill guys, trust me.”

“Wait…” what a small world. “A couple of weeks ago I took Dave to Greg’s warehouse…”

“Yes.” he cut me short. “We’re working together, but I can’t tell you anything, sorry.” he laughed.

“Why? Greg’s making you fuck?” I joked.

Tom almost choked on his own cig trying not to laugh.

“Can’t tell ya.” he said, smoke coming out of his mouth. “Maybe we are.” he winked at me.

Why is everyone winking at me lately?

“Thanks for the ride man. You’re not so bad… [burp] for a filthy Lobster I mean.” he gently punched my arm and then got off the car, before I could come up with a super duper smart comeback to destroy him.

As a gentleman, I again made sure that the guy I just left got into his house safe and sound. I reached for the car keys and I drove back to me and Dave’s place.

While driving, I thought about Tom. He's nice. And it’s also cool how he and Dave are actually working together… to a porn? Because Greg is having this “porn phase” and… wait… is Dave “gay for pay”? Am I thinking too hard about this? What’s going on between those three? Was it porn all along? Is Greg the leader of a cult? Are they all fucking each other while Greg laughs maniacally?!

Those are all fair and very rational questions, which I would have kept asking myself, but as I finally got home and stopped the car, I felt my phone vibrate. I reached for it and pulled it out of my pocket: it was a message from Dave, obviously.

“Wait a minute… Tim and Tom?! What are the odds?!”

Very perceptive, Dave.

The End

[astrognossienne]

scandalous beauty - dolores del río - an analysis

“I love my native Mexico but I love Hollywood, too. It has brought me much happiness and yet, while here I have been miserably unhappy also. But through it all I have found myself, my work and my true destiny.” - Dolores del Río

Like Lupe Vélez, Dolores del Río was a pioneering Latina actress, however del Río’s reach was longer. Far from being stigmatized as a woman of colour, she was acknowledged as the epitome of beauty in the Hollywood of the 1920s and early 1930s. While she insisted upon her ethnicity, she was nevertheless coded white by the film industry and its fans, and she appeared for more than a decade as a romantic lead opposite white actors. Returning to Mexico in the early 1940s, she brought enthusiasm and prestige to the Golden Age of Mexican cinema, becoming one of the great divas of Mexican film. With struggle and perseverance, she overcame the influence of men in both countries who hoped to dominate her, ultimately controlling her own life professionally and personally. Her sophistication, style and artistry bewitched everyone from Stella Adler to John Ford, Federico Fellini, and her great friends Frida Kahlo and Diego Rivera, who proclaimed to be “totally in love with her, just like forty million Mexicans and one hundred and twenty million Americans who couldn’t be wrong.” She was America’s first Latina superstar, and by the early 1930s, she was one of Hollywood's ten top moneymakers. Hers was a charmed life, but not even she was without problems. A child of privilege in her native Mexico, her family’s status was destroyed in the Mexican Revolution, and her desire to restore her comfortable lifestyle inspired del Río to follow a career as an actress. Discovered and promoted by American director Edwin Carewe, her obsessive protector and Svengali, as the “female Rudolph Valentino,” del Río’s aristocratic, Spanish-European background was constantly pushed to counteract Hollywood’s racism against Mexicans; indeed she was generally thought to be one of the most beautiful actresses of her era, and was the first Latin American movie star to have international appeal. She worked for over five decades and paved the way for Latin American stars in American cinema.

Dolores del Río, according to astrotheme, was a Leo sun and Aries moon. She was born María de los Dolores Asúnsolo López-Negrete in the Mexican town of Durango; she was an only child born to parents who belonged to the wealthy Mexican aristocracy. She was the second cousin of actor Ramón Novarro and a cousin to actress Andrea Palma. They lived the high life in the company of intellectuals and artists. Dolores attended a prestigious school but soon their world was turned upside down, threatened by an insurrection led by Pancho Villa in the region. Del Río and her mother escaped Mexico City disguised as peasants, while her father crossed the border to the United States. When the family eventually reunited in 1912, they did so under the protection of Francisco I. Madero. In 1920 she married the 18-year older attorney Jaime Martinez del Río and became a socialite. Her career got off to a good start when in 1925 when the lauded American director Edwin Carewe was invited to her home and saw her perform and dance for her family and friends. He persuaded del Río and her husband to moved to the United Sates and go to Hollywood to be in his films. While in Hollywood, del Río played a variety of leading roles, from European aristocrat to "native" girl to European peasant.

Within a few years after her arrival, she was a major hit and her appeal was astonishingly broad. She quickly came to command a substantial salary and to exercise control over her choice of films, scripts, and camera angles. Despite the fact that she did not speak English when she first began and had to have the director 's instructions delivered through interpreters, she made the transition to sound films gracefully. Her accent was deemed slight, attractive, and not specific to a particular country. As socially attractive as she was, physically and personality-wise, the truth is that a major part of del Río’s seamless transition into Hollywood is down to racism and white supremacy. While her contemporary (and nemesis) Lupe Vélez was viewed as the "bad Mexican wildcat" (to be fair, her temperament didn’t help this stereotype), Dolores was viewed as the "good Spanish lady." The contrast between the two stars and their degrees of acceptance reflected society’s stereotypical dichotomy between "good" Spanish and "bad" Mexican images– which has its roots in U.S. history. While most Mexicans were perceived as racially inferior, the elite Hispanic Californianas were deemed European and superior while the mass of Mexican women were viewed as Indian and inferior. Californiana women who possessed land and intermarried with Anglo men were depicted positively; they were represented as aristocratic and virtuous and they epitomized "good" women; but this was at the price of denying their racial identity, and being treated as racially superior to Californiano males and the rest of their people. So as such, she soon divorced her Mexican husband Jaime in 1928 and two years later married MGM art director Cedric Gibbons (who happened to be Gary Cooper’s wife’s uncle).

Soon after her marriage, she was romantically linked with actor Errol Flynn, filmmaker John Farrow, writer Erich Maria Remarque, film producer Archibaldo Burns, and actor Tito Junco. However, it was her affair with Orson Welles, who considered her the love of his life, that was arguably her most high profile relationship. She and Welles met at a party hosted by director Darryl Zanuck. The couple felt a mutual attraction and began a discreet affair, which upon eventual discovery caused the divorce between Dolores and Gibbons. Their relationship lasted for 4 years; she ended it when she got word of Welles cheating on her. She decided to end her relationship with Welles through a telegram that he never answered. According to his daughter, Rebecca, until the end of his life, Welles felt for del Río a kind of obsession. Weeks later, her father died in Mexico. With these personal and professional downturns, Dolores del Río returned to Mexico in the 1940s and became a significant part of the Mexican film industry’s Golden Era. She was the muse of director Emilio Fernández and starred most notably in Las Abandonadas (1944) and La Malquerida (1949). On a national and even international level though, Dolores del Río will perhaps always be best remembered for her role in the 1946 classic María Candelaría, which is said to be the film of which she was most proud. It also marked the first tentative steps of the Mexican film industry into the world of serious cinema and was the first Latin American film to be screened at the Cannes Film Festival in 1946, where it won the Grand Prix (now known as the Palme d’Or) for Best Picture. After her triumph in her native homeland, she returned to Hollywood and played opposite Henry Fonda in The Fugitive (1947). She continued to work steadily, starring in various TV shows and films until retiring in 1978. On April 11, 1983, del Río died from liver failure at the age of 78 in Newport Beach, California.

Next week, I’ll focus on her one-time lover, an iconoclastic disruptor who took on the conventions of Hollywood and won: the amazing Taurus Orson Welles.

Stats

birthdate: August 3, 1904

major planets:

Sun: Leo

Moon: Aries

Rising: Leo

Mercury: Virgo

Venus: Leo

Mars: Cancer

Midheaven: Taurus

Jupiter: Aries

Saturn: Aquarius

Uranus: Sagittarius

Neptune: Cancer

Pluto: Gemini

Overall personality snapshot:  She had a large, warm-hearted, extroverted personality that was always eager to embrace life, love and success – in big doses. There was something about her that assumed the divine right to live life to the full, and her intensity and impatience, along with her personal ambitions, pulled her ever onwards into new projects, fresh relationships and greater challenges. She was something of a gambler and had a daring and dramatic spirit which propelled her forward to make her mark, a sense of personal destiny which can only be exciting and noble. And she was prepared to fight for that glorious destiny if she had to, although she would rather simply steal the show and convince everyone with her intelligence, originality, courage and fabulous style. One of her most beguiling qualities is that she was totally lacking in guile and pretense. Although her own personal destiny was what interested her, paradoxically she at first looked for people she could admire and make into personal heroes. Strongly influenced by a favourite teacher, friend, poet, sports champion or movie star, she could then emulate them and learn through experience how to be great.

She loved the process of creating, as well as the applause that came at the end. Indeed, she relied on those adoring strokes and affirmative responses more than she liked to admit. Life without people would be colourless and boring for her. Social interaction was her life-blood – she could be the life of the party, a real ham and an eccentric, ready to take up the most outrageous dare. But when her extrovert escapades dry up, so did she. She may have, in fact, driven herself to exhaustion and then collapse like a child, home from an all-night rave-up. Yet despite her headlong rush into the experience of life, she was not necessarily irresponsible. Daring and highly idealistic dreams worked away inside her and made her want to improve things, to show people the way, and she may have simply taken charge – for a while. Intensely self-motivated, she did not respond well to orders from others, even though she could be quite bossy herself. There is a touch of the preacher inside her, and she approached her work with great enthusiasm and commitment. She needed space to do her own thing, to learn from her own mistakes, and to learn how to impose her own brand of self-discipline. Her innate self-dramatizing tendencies made her a natural for the theater, business, lecturing, the media – areas that involved group interaction and provided scope for her original and iconoclastic ideas.

She had great presence with a strong-featured face and a sunny glow of inner self-confidence and displayed a regal quality in her posture and carriage; was definitely well-built. She sought perfection in whatever she did and could be very critical of herself and her own efforts. In this way, she often became overly critical and pedantic, especially under stress. She was basically an honest person, and it disturbed her greatly when she had to deal with people who were not. Anyone who violated her sense of trust had a very hard time getting it back. It was very important for her to know that she had the security of a guaranteed paycheck coming in regularly. She had an artistic side to her that obviously influenced her choice of career as an actor. Once she had decided upon her career, she was able to (and most certainly did) pursue it with great determination. She had boundless enthusiasm and big ideas coupled with high expectations of succeeding. She was also self-sufficient and broad-minded. Her genuine pioneering spirit, positive outlook and large-scale personal ambitions led her right to the top. She needed to learn to think before you take on a challenge, and all risks should have been carefully considered. She needed to learn to relax and slow down. She was anxious to prove herself both to others and to herself. If anyone said that she couldn’t do something, she defied them to try and stop her. As long as she felt that she was the one in control, she had a high degree of optimism and was fun-loving, loving to play at life. 

She had an original mind and used every skill she possessed to gain control of her affairs. She found it hard to let go of the past, and it would have been good if she did so that she could grow. She was willing to tolerate austerity for as long as it was justified. She respected institutions for as long as they served her purpose. She had the ability to judge what was viable or important. She belonged to a generation with fiery enthusiasm for new and innovative ideas and concepts. Rejecting the past and its mistakes, she sought new ideals and people to believe in. As a member of this generation, she felt restless and adventurous, and was attracted towards foreign people, places and cultures. She was part of an emotionally sensitive generation that was extremely conscious of the domestic environment and the atmosphere surrounding their home place and home country. In fact, she could be quite nostalgic about her homeland, religion and traditions, often seeing them in a romantic light. She felt a degree of escapism from everyday reality, and was very sensitive to the moods of those around him. Dolores embodied all of these Cancer Neptunian ideals, when she returned to her native Mexico in 1943, a country of which she was very proud, her decision to return to her roots changed her career. As a Gemini Plutonian, she was mentally restless and willing to examine and change old doctrines, ideas and ways of thinking. As a member of this generation, she showed an enormous amount of mental vitality, originality and perception. Traditional customs and taboos were examined and rejected for newer and more original ways of doing things. As opportunities with education expanded, she questioned more and learned more.

Love/sex life: She had a heroic conception of herself as a lover. She saw herself as strong and in control, the protector of the weak and the saviour of the desperate. Unfortunately, the realities of her love life didn’t always support this notion. Often it was her tender feelings that required protection and her desperate plunges in and out of love that called for a saviour. In order to justify this discrepancy, she often had to be less than honest, both with her lover and herself. The person most likely to win her heart would have been that individual who made it appear as if  she was the champion when, in fact, she was the one crying for help. Her tendency toward self-deception often extended to a failure to admit to her very natural emotionalism and sexual passivity. Unfortunately, there always came a day of reckoning when she had to “own” her emotional susceptibility and capitulate to her sloppy feelings of dependency and her deep-seated need for affection. The good news was that surrendering everything for love wasn’t nearly as bad as she thought it was. She may have lost her dignity but what she got in return made it all worth while.

minor asteroids and points:

North Node: Virgo

Lilith: Pisces

Vertex: Sagittarius

Fortune: Taurus

East Point: Leo

These points in her chart, however minor, packed a major punch in her sex appeal as well. Her North Node in Virgo dictated that her tendency to dream and be disorganized needed to be tempered by developing more practical and down-to-earth attitudes. Her Lilith in Pisces meant that she was a woman who was a natural born mystic and cultivated her own myth. Her Part of Fortune in Taurus and Part of Spirit in Scorpio dictated that her destiny lay in attaining personal freedom through seeking material security and comfort. Happiness and good fortune came through tangible and practical results that had a solid foundation. Her soul’s purpose lay in delving fearlessly into the unknown. She felt spiritual connections and saw the spark of the divine when she could strip away the outer layers of experiences and get to the core of a situation. East Point in Leo dictated that she was more likely to identify with the need for pleasure (including the potential of liking herself) and comfort. Vertex in Sagittarius, 4th house reveals that she dreamt of the pinnacle of adventure when it came to mating. Her psyche yearned to be carried away to the ends of the earth or to be exposed to every manner of religious and/or philosophical theory known to man and then some. Her yearning was strong and really deep when it came to rarefied experiences of any sort. Encountering and wanting to join with her demanded that she always had an itinerary that will provide her with the maps to explore the roads that they have not yet traveled, to say nothing of the different worlds they have dreamed of but not yet experienced. She had a childlike orientation, in all of its manifestations, toward relationships on an internal level. That implicit dependency and impressionable nature that was instilled in her childhood persisted far into maturity. The concomitant explosions and occasional tantrums when these constructs are violated also accompany this position. She had a need for emotional security and comfort in a committed relationship, no matter how many years it has endured. She often had deep fears, typical of children, of abandonment, as well as a need for protection and universal acceptance, no matter how she acted, which she needed her partner to respect and nurture, rather than rebuke, especially in adulthood.

elemental dominance:

fire

earth

She was dynamic and passionate, with strong leadership ability. She generated enormous warmth and vibrancy. She was exciting to be around, because she was genuinely enthusiastic and usually friendly. However, she could either be harnessed into helpful energy or flame up and cause destruction. Ultimately, she chose the latter. Confident and opinionated, she was fond of declarative statements such as “I will do this” or “It’s this way.” When out of control—usually because she was bored, or hadn’t been acknowledged—she was be bossy, demanding, and even tyrannical. But at her best, her confidence and vision inspired others to conquer new territory in the world, in society, and in themselves. She was a practical, reliable man and could provide structure and protection. She was oriented toward practical experience and thought in terms of doing rather than thinking, feeling, or imagining. Could be materialistic, unimaginative, and resistant to change. But at her best, she provided the practical resources, analysis, and leadership to make dreams come true.

modality dominance:

fixed

She liked the challenge of managing existing routines with ever more efficiency, rather than starting new enterprises or finding new ways of doing things. She likely had trouble delegating duties and had a very hard time seeing other points of view; she tried to implement the human need to create stability and order in the wake of change.      

house dominants:

12th

9th

1st

She had great interest in the unconscious, and indulged in a lot of hidden and secret affairs. Her life was defined by seclusion and escapism. She had a certain mysticism and hidden sensitivity, as well as an intense need for privacy. Traveling, whether physically across the globe, on a mental plane or expanding through study was a major theme in her life. She was not only concerned with learning facts, but also wanted to understand the connections formed between them and the philosophies and concepts they stood for. Her conscience, as well as foreign travel, people and places was also of paramount importance in her life. Her personality, disposition and temperament was highlighted in her life. The manner in which she expressed herself and the way she approached other people is also highlighted. The way she approached new situations and circumstances contributed to show how she set about her life’s goals. Early childhood experiences also factored in her life as well.

planet dominants:

Mercury

Sun

Venus

She was intelligent, mentally quick, and had excellent verbal acuity. She dealt in terms of logic and reasoning. It is likely that she was left-brained. She was restless, craved movement, newness, and the bright hope of undiscovered terrains. She had vitality and creativity, as well as a strong ego and was authoritarian and powerful. She likely had strong leadership qualities, she definitely knew who she was, and she had tremendous will. She met challenges and believed in expanding her life. She was romantic, attractive and valued  beauty, had an artistic instinct, and was sociable. She had an easy ability to create close personal relationships, for better or worse, and to form business partnerships.

sign dominants:

Leo

Aries

Virgo

She loved being the center of attention and often surrounded herself with admirers. She had an innate dramatic sense, and life was definitely her stage. Her flamboyance and personal magnetism extended to every facet of her life. She wanted to succeed and make an impact in every situation. As a Leo dominant, she was, at her best, optimistic, honorable, loyal, and ambitious. She was a physically oriented individual who took pride in her body. She was bold, courageous, and resourceful. She always seemed to know what she believed, what she wanted from life, and where she was going. She could be dynamic and aggressive (sometimes, to a fault) in pursuing her goals—whatever they might be. Could be argumentative, lacked tact, and had a bad temper. On the other hand, her anger rarely lasted long, and she could be warm and loving with those she cared about. She was a discriminating, attractive, thorough, scientific, hygienic, humane, scientific woman and had the highest standards. Her attention to detail was second to none and she had a deeply penetrative and investigative mind.

Read more about her under the cut.

Dolores del Rio was the one of the first Mexican movie stars with international appeal and who had meteoric career in the 1920s/1930s Hollywood. Del Rio came from an aristocratic family in Durango. In the Mexican revolution of 1916, however, the family lost everything and emigrated to Mexico City, where Dolores became a socialite. In 1921 she married Jaime Del Río (also known as Jaime Martínez Del Río), a wealthy Mexican, and the two became friends with Hollywood producer/director Edwin Carewe, who "discovered" del Rio and invited the couple to move to Hollywood where they launched careers in the movie business (she as an actress, Jaime as a screenwriter). Eventually they divorced after Carewe cast her in her first film Joanna (1925), followed by High Steppers (1926), and Pals First (1926). She had her first leading role in Carewe's silent version of Pals First (1926) and soared to stardom in 1928 with Carewe's Ramona (1928). The film was a success and del Rio was hailed as a female Rudolph Valentino. Her career continued to rise with the arrival of sound in the drama/romance Bird of Paradise (1932) and hit musical Flying Down to Rio (1933). She later married Cedric Gibbons, the well-known art director and production designer at MGM studios. Dolores returned to Mexico in 1942. Her Hollywood career was over, and a romance with Orson Welles--who later called her "the most exciting woman I've ever met"--caused her second divorce. Mexican director Emilio Fernández offered her the lead in his film Wild Flower (1943), with a wholly unexpected result: at age 37, Dolores del Río became the most famous movie star in her country, filming in Spanish for the first time. Her association with Fernández' team (cinematographer Gabriel Figueroa, writer Mauricio Magdaleno and actor Pedro Armendáriz) was mainly responsible for creating what has been called the Golden Era of Mexican Cinema. With such pictures as Maria Candelaria (1944), The Abandoned (1945) and Bugambilia (1945), del Río became the prototypical Mexican beauty. career included film, theater and television. In her last years she received accolades because of her work for orphaned children. Her last film was The Children of Sanchez (1978). (x)

[welcometowcwmondaynitro]

WCW Monday Nitro 09/09/1996

Shit be exploding, so you know what time it is.

Yes sir.

Once again we are not given a location this week, which generally means the town is too small-time for the big shots at WCW to even consider giving a shout out to. My research tells me this broadcast comes from the Columbus Civic Centre in Columbus, Georgia.  

As always we are introduced to our first hour announce team, Schiavone and Zbyszko.

Tony is looking quite smart this evening. Larry as expected has a horrific multcoloured abomination on underneath his jacket. It’s basically his gimmick a this point so whatever. 

They talk about how the balance of power has shifted to the nWo and Larry says Giant is “the biggest traitor since Benedict Arnold”, nice ancient reference there, Larry. We get a recap of last week’s awesome show-ending brawl. 

Once they’re done wrapping this up, Goldberg’s music plays. What? I check my file - yes, definitely 9th September 1996. Has Goldberg time travelled back to 1996 and changed history by debuting early?

Well, either that is one hell of a disguise or no, actually Goldberg’s theme music was first used by this Japanese guy called Pat Tanaka. It’s really weird seeing this random fella walk out to Goldberg’s music. The crowd boo mildly - I guess just because he’s Japanese? I don’t remember there being any storyline reason to boo him, anyway. 

Pat’s opponent is... this.

Looks like a mascot from a early/mid-90s video game brought to life. If this is Super Calo then I am curious as to what regular Calo is like. I am unsure as to what makes this version ‘Super’, but maybe we’ll find out in the upcoming match. Mike Tenay joins the announce crew because it is Calo’s debut and Tenay is the only one likely to know anything about him.

Pat Tanaka vs Super Calo

I was kind of hoping Tanaka would start the match with a spear and then jackhammer Calo into oblivion, but no such luck. 

As one would anticipate from a man dressed like a stereotypical kung-fu master in an 80s movie, Tanaka starts the match off with some kicks.

Calo jumps around pointlessly and then gets kicked in the face. Bants.

Tenay tells us Calo’s name and look comes from the “top rap group” in Mexico. He does not name this group. Confusingly wikipedia claims Calo is named after a Mexican rock group with the same name, but his image is meant to convey a rapper. So, just... what? Also what rapper has ever looked like Super Calo? In Mexico is that how rappers dress? 

Well anyway this odd fellow somersaults over the ropes onto Tanaka outside of the ring. 

The screen then cuts to this.

 Then we’re back to the match. OK then. 

Tanaka hits Calo with a powerbomb, which leads to Tony talking about him being “so schooled in the martial arts”. Yes, because we all know that classic martial arts move the powerbomb. Often followed by a leg drop and a scorpion deathlock. 

The ending to this match is beyond ridiculous. 

First, Tanaka puts Calo onto the top turnbuckle.

Neither man seems to know what is meant to happen next, so they awkwardly wrap their arms around each other.

Tanaka then lifts Calo up like he’s going for an inverse piledriver and falls backwards.

Apparently he knocks himself out, gets pinned, and loses.

What an idiot.

Super Calo defeats Pat Tanaka via Pinfall.

Nothing too super about our friend Calo in this one I’m afraid. His victory came largely because Tanaka is a super dunce.

We got some lads in the front row who are big fans of the classic moustache.

They seem quite pleased that Calo emerged victorious.

Just under seven minutes in and we throw back to Mean Gene in the locker room with Rick Steiner. This should be good.

Shirts hanging out of the lockers behind them, as you do. 

Gene asks Rick Steiner about Nick Patrick’s questionable officiating - referring to the incident last week where Luger was disqualified in seconds for basically nothing. Rick says that he had Luger, and Gene saw it. Total bullshit as the match had barely started, and Gene does point that out. 

Luger walks into the frame as we see last week’s replay. Rick is continually going on about how he was going to win, sounding like a mentally challenged three year old. On the other hand this is a guy who also genuinely thinks he’s a dog, so... I should probably be impressed that he is able to form words and put them into a somewhat coherent structure.

Gene says that Steiner is “a little confused” in the understatement of the century, 

Luger tells Rick that he’s “a great tag team wrestler” but he feels like he has the edge in a singles environment. Rick continues to fail to understand basic english and keeps repeating “I can beat you, ask Sting” and then starts calling for Sting.

Gene then ushers Rick away like an unruly child as Luger walks off as well. Gene says that Luger was alluding that Rick “doesn’t have it upstairs”, pointing to his head. Wow, what a dick. Luger didn’t say anything like that. All he implied was that he was a better singles wrestler than Rick. Not sure where Gene has gotten his interpretation from, but my guess is he just wants to stir the pot as usual.

Next it’s nWo announcement time.

Just the usual t-shirt ad with Nash saying “all proceeds go towards the Ric Flair retirement fund”. Joke’s on him, that fund must have accrued some serious cash before it was finally paid out.

We’re back and...

Somebody buy these poor kids some real nWo t-shirts. 

Where did these people come from? Did they decide to stop by Nitro after a corporate dinner or something? 

Are these pilots in the audience as well? Wtf? Why are all these people coming to the show dressed in their work clothes? Is this a common thing in the States?

Oh, hey, guess what - Glacier debuted. I would say “remember all that hype” but if you’ve been reading this sad collection of nostalgic drivel then you will indeed remember the many Glacier adverts that have been on every Nitro broadcast since May or so. We’re now in September and Glacier finally had his first match... on WCW Pro.

Seriously.

WCW Pro is like... Sunday Night Heat or Velocity in WWE terms. It’s below WCW Saturday Night for fuck’s sake.  Tony calls it “one of the most eagerly anticipated debuts ever” - which is why he made his first appearance on WCW FUCKING PRO. Oh WCW, what are you like?

Larry says Glacier will be “a force to be reckoned with”, which, spoiler alert. turns out to be the opposite.

  Oh good, these two walking charisma vacuums.

And these two lumbering idiots. WCW, the best wrestling on the planet. How could WWF in 1996 find no way to entice people away from Pat Tanaka vs Super Calo and The AFC vs the Nasty Boys? Seriously. It isn’t that difficult. 

The AFC do their usual schtick of singing the Canadian national anthem badly and the crowd get angry because ‘Murica fuck yeah and whatever. The Nasty Boys say “fuck this” and attack the AFC after about 10 seconds of this bullshit, getting the match started.

The Amazing French Canadians Vs The Nasty Boys

You don’t care about this match. I don’t care about this match. Let’s just skip to the end.

Knobbs whacks the eyepatch guy with the flag the AFC brought out. Saggs pins for the win. 

The Nasty Boys defeat The Amazing French Canadians via Pinfall.

Mean Gene comes scurrying out to interview the Nastys, for some reason.

Saggs says everybody has been pointing the finger at the Nasty Boys, accusing them of being with the nWo (can’t imagine anybody really cares but OK, sure). Saggs says the Nasty’s are only worried about the tag titles which are in WCW, ergo they aren’t interested in joining the nWo. Does he not realise that faction affiliation is irrelevent as far as challenging for belts is concerned? I mean, Hogan is literally WCW Heavyweight champion at this point in time. 

Knobbs says that the Nasty’s don’t care about the nWo, they’re in WCW and they’re coming for Harlem Heat to take the tag team titles. Short and to the point, which is fine by me, even if the Nasty’s appear to be under the mistaken impression- that joining the nWo would invalidate them from challenging for the tag titles. 

We’re back from a commercial break to find Scott Norton and Sgt Craig Pittman in the ring.

Sgt Craig Pittman Vs Scott Norton

The commentators bill this as a “hold versus hold” match and I’m not sure what this means, as I was under the impression every match is hold versus hold. But whatever. 

After some back and forth Pittman decides that it’s time to ram his head into Norton’s sternum. 

It looks pretty painful and not especially effective, but Pittman enjoys it so much he does it again. 

They head to the outside of the ring. Norton gets whipped against the guardrail, the entirety of which moves upon impact, but then Norton regains control by slamming Pittman’s shoulder into the ring post. 

Norton locks in the armbar but the Sarge will not give up. Long gets onto the ring apron to beg Pittman to give in, but he won’t. WCW, for reasons beyond my understanding, is very careful about protecting Sgt. Craig Pittman. He never gets pushed, as far as I remember, but this man WILL NOT QUIT.

Then... 

Ice Train wanders out wearing this abomination. Seriously - what the fuck? It’s like a demin vest with a backpack built in. It’s something you would expect to see an eight-year old girl in the mid-90s wearing over the top of a t-shirt or something. What clothing brand figured that this design was suitable for huge, beefy dudes? I don’t know, but they clearly have a customer in Ice Train.

Train throws in the towel for Pittman.  

Scott Norton defeats Sgt. Craig Pittman via Forfeit. 

He enters the ring and stares down at Norton, who is looking at Train’s vest top and moobs like “dafuq?”

The two former amigos have a staredown which doesn’t lead anywhere. 

Pepboys Power Pin of the Week is a submission. Go figure.

We head to the locker room where Gene-o is with Ric Flair, Arn Anderson and Lex Luger.

Three of these men are dressed appropriately. The other is Lex Luger.

Apparently Sting is supposed to be a part of this interview as well but is nowhere to be found. Luger assures Flair & Arn that Sting is in the building, but the Horsemen are having none of it and are concerned that Sting doesn’t have his head in the game. Flair starts going crazy and practically flings himself into an alternate dimension with his erratic movements.

Like a jet propeller is being put directly in front of his face.

Anyway eventually these two sad sacks come lumbering in...

Mongo looks like he’s about to explode, whilst Benoit as usual appears barely awake. Mongo yells about not being able to count on Luger and Sting. Luger reiterates that Sting is in the building somewhere, he’s just not around for the interview. The Horsemen do seem overly paranoid here - how hard would it be to track Sting down and talk to him if they are this pissed off? 

Arn says he’s called ahead to Winston, Salem (where Fall Brawl/War Games is being held) to pre-book himself a hospital room as he assumes he’s going to need one. Seems like a somewhat pessimistic thing to do, but is it even possible to pre-book hospital room? Arn is talking like he’s booked a hotel room for the night. Strange lad. He also suggests Hogan uses battery acid to burn out his eyes which... I mean, don’t give the guy ideas, Arn.  

Interview ends with everybody talking over each other and Flair wooing a lot - so, the same as most Horsemen interviews.

People in the crowd are holding these signs which say “nWo - you haven’t seen bad... but it’s coming!” - indeed, Hogan Vs Piper is coming.

We get a recap of this thrilling DDP/Eddie/Chavo storyline which nobody cares about, but why this is recapped is beyond me as the next match has nothing to do with any of those three. 

Instead, out comes “the desparado” himself, Joe Gomez.

Somebody throws a wad of paper at him as he enters. Obviously not a fan.

His opponent is Juventud Guerrera,  who Tony repeatedly refers to as Juventud Guerrero. 

As Juvi enters he runs past these ladies, who appear both baffled and unimpressed with him.

Cold.

Joe Gomez Vs Juventud Guerrera

The match starts off okay, but descends into disaster fairly quickly as Juvi starts trying various lucha things which poor Joe is clearly not comfortable with. First Juvi stands on the apron, jumps onto the ropes as Gomez slowly walks towards him and does this...

It’s clear from this angle alone that there is no way in hell Juvi is going to reach Gomez. In fairness to WCW they switch camera angle just in time to make it look slightly less terrible, although I imagine it was more down to luck than skill. Nonetheless Gomez at least tries to sell the move, falling backwards theatrically.

Weeee! Points for effort if not execution. 

This happens next, and thanks to Uproxx “Best and Worst of WCW Monday Nitro” series (check it out, it’s great) I have a GIF to put into pictures what I would struggle to put into words.

Speaks for itself.

After this Juvi seems to want to go for a hurricanrana from the top turnbuckle but I‘m not sure if they botch this as well or it was the plan, but Juvi ends up backflipping away from the turnbuckle and then catching Gomez with a weak looking dropkick as he jumps towards Juvi.

Juvi just about manages to hit the finishing move...

But even that looks a little bit dodgy. At least Joe just had to lay there for this one. Ref counts to three and mercifully this one is over. Not sure if Gomez or Juvi are to blame for this shitshow, but either way I advise never putting them together again.

Juventud Guerrera defeats Joe Gomez via Pinfall.

For some reason Mean Gene is on the ramp to interview Nick Patrick. Oh good, more of this storyline.

Before they start the interview though, as Juventud walks past Gene and Patrick, Gene says “very good match there on the part of Juventud Guerrera”, then gives Juvi a disdainful look and mutters “guy just kind of... wanders around here”. LOL. Why is Gene throwing shade at poor Juvi? “Guy just wanders around here”, like he’s a lost child or something. I guess Gene is still salty about the interview with Juvi that went wrong a couple of weeks ago, but come on, that was hardly Juvi’s fault. Obvious Gene is still holding a grudge though. 

I don’t think anybody really wants to hear from these two ballbags but here we are anyway. 

Gene is accusing Patrick of making too many controversial calls for it to just be coincidence, whilst Patrick is accusing Gene of being a shit-stirring cock cheese who needs to get a life. Neither are lying but nobody really cares either. What is funny is that Okerlund is very haughty and dismissive of Patrick - until Patrick threatens to take Gene to court - at which point Gene stutters “well I-I hope that doesn’t happen” before saying “thank you very much Nick Patrick, sir, thank you” to Patrick as he walks off. Pathetic. 

Meanwhile Hogan, Hall, Nash and the Giant are outside in the pouring rain putting those nWo flyers with the “you haven’t seen bad... but it’s coming” slogan on random cars. This seems like a total waste of time as by the time the car owners get back to their vehicles the rain would probably have destroyed those flyers anyway.  Do these guys really have nothing better to do? Tony tells us the nWo are “literally” in the parking lot - as opposed to what, being there in spirit?

Ted DiBiase is the smartest of the lot as he 1) has an umbrella and 2) isn’t wasting his time putting up useless flyers in the pouring rain. He’s talking to somebody in the car, and the announcers are shitting themselves as to who it might be, as they tend to do. For all they know DiBiase might just be talking to the driver. 

“HERE’S A STORY OF TWO BROTHERS, RICK AND SCOTT!”

Just Rick tonight. He comes out doing that sad half-bark he does whenever something is troubling him. 

His opponent, of course, is Flexy Lexy.

Rick Steiner Vs Lex Luger

These two are not exactly known as ‘ring generals’ so I am not expecting a classic here. Let’s see, though. Perhaps we will all be pleasantly surprised. 

After various arm drags, headlocks, shoulder blocks, and so on, this happens.

Uh...

Yeah. Rick is basically molesting Luger in the ring and keeps this up for a disturbing amount of time. I guess it’s meant to show his amateur wrestling background but it basically just looks like sexual assault. Rick’s hands are going to places they really should not. 

Hour two begins with the usual fireworks. Bischoff, Heenan and Tenay come in on commentary for the rest of the show. 

Rick hits Luger with a nice powerslam, and Randy Anderson cannot bear to watch the impact. The crowd bark their approval which, personally, I don’t think is helpful. Rick’s clinical lycanthropy is only going to get worse if people bark at him when he does something good. Or bark at him in general, really.

More cuddling. Back away, Rick. Even Randy Anderson is telling him to cut it out at this point.

Luger takes control with a powerslam and signals for the rack. However, before he can attempt his finishing move...

This dicksplash comes running out waving his arms around. Looks like he’s doing the sieg heil there but fairly sure it’s just the timing of the screenshot.

Anyhow, Patrick tells Luger to follow him out the back, yelling something about the nWo beating up Sting.

Considering Patrick’s recent behaviour, Lex, it might not be wise to...

OK. Never mind. Of course Luger goes running after Patrick, abandoning the match entirely and getting himself counted out. 

Everyone looking towards the entrance way like “where’s he going?” 

Rick Steiner defeats Lex Luger via Countout.

We get a shot of DiBiase talking to the mystery man in the limo. Sting’s voice is heard but it is blatantly piped in from some other promo. He says he’s “tired of the DTA stuff, don’t trust anybody”, so I guess he’s not a fan of Stone Cold Steve Austin. DiBiase pretends to talk to the pre-taped Sting voice until Lex shows up.

A guy who is clearly not Sting gets out of the limo and starts beating up Luger whilst Bischoff screams “NO! NO!”

I have the advantage of hindsight and my monitor is probably bigger than most people’s TVs back in 1996... but still, it’s really obviously not Sting. Were people genuinely fooled by this? 

The nWo along with “Sting” beat Luger down and leave him laying in a broken heap in the rain...

It has not been a good night for Luger. First he got yelled at by the Horsemen, then he spent ten minutes getting inappropriately touched by Rick Steiner during their match, then he gets smacked around by the nWo and left on the ground in the pouring rain. Bad times for sure. Although if you’re stupid enough to follow Nick Patrick anywhere... 

Luger does manage to get back up but ends up just kind of wandering around in the rain looking confused whilst the nWo flee, leaving the limos parked outside the building.

These bois are not impressed by what they have just seen. Tenay looks like a dad who is about to grab his belt and put a whippin’ on somebody. Bischoff is indignant. Heenan wears the expression of a man who was just forced to sit through every Raw from 2015. Pure torture. 

Bischoff says he has an update which is literally “we don’t know where [the nWo] are. I’m sorry. I don’t know”. Well thanks for that. Very helpful. 

We get a long recap of last week’s angle including more footage of the amazing all-out brawl that ended the show. Then we get another nWo advert for their t-shirt. 

A bunch of random jobbers are outside with Luger and Rick Steiner milling around the limo yelling out “DIBIASE!” - as if he’ll just pop up and be like “sup bois?” - pointless endeavour. Rick Steiner is the only one smart enough to bring an umbrella outside. Let that one sink in. Luger chucks a bunch of stuff out of one of the limos onto the floor which seems unnecessary. 

Out comes pre-Flock Billy Kidman. The commentators could not care less, just droning on about Sting’s supposed “defection”. 

The other combatant in this contest is Cruiserweight champion Rey Mysterio Jr.

Rey Mysterio Jr Vs Billy Kidman

The announcers spend the entire match in ‘sad voice’, like their dogs have all collectively died. It’s really annoying.

The match spills to the outside very quickly. Rey gets the advantage and rolls Kidman back in. He attempts to jump off the ropes from the apron, but Kidman knows what’s coming and meets Rey with a dropkick to the chest.

Kidman slams Rey in the centre of the ring, runs over to the turnbuckle and leaps off.

Just a two count though. Rey wins the match soon after this by flipping off the ropes onto Kidman.

It looks weak but whatever. This wasn’t anything special.

Rey Mysterio defeats Billy Kidman via Pinfall.

We come back from a commercial and the Dungeon’s of Doom’s “music” is playing, and I put that in inverted commas because it isn’t really music, just a pseudo-creepy OTT villainous laugh accompanied by some kind of chant. Whatever. Normally any sign of the Dungeon is enough to make me want to hang my head in despair, however!

If Meng is involved, it might be somewhat entertaining. Just to note those aren’t two random arms sprouting out of Meng’s shoulders – the Barbarian is behind him.

The announcers are still going on about how tragic Sting’s supposed betrayal is – and Bischoff apologises for “not giving Rey Mysterio the attention he deserves in his match”. I mean, kind of tough to take that apology seriously considering how often this has happened and will continue to happen until Nitro goes out of existence. It is the only time I can recall any commentator in WCW actually apologising for the routine ignoring of the cruiserweights in favour of talking about/complaining about the nWo, though.

These two are the opponents. Yeah, Public Enemy, they definitely deserve that pyro. Sure. Look at them waving their hands in the air like they just don’t care.

By the way, the commentators are still going on about Sting. I wonder if we’ll get another apology for ignoring this match as well? Not that I’d necessarily blame them here.

Some diehard wrestling fans here. I think we saw them previously – seemingly someone in production has taken a liking to these ladies. They look like they got lost on their way to a PTA meeting, but fuck it, might as well enjoy themselves now. Watch out for the dude behind you though, ladies. That smile worries me a little.

The Faces of Fear Vs Public Enemy

We go to a commercial break, and as soon as we come back Bischoff says “I hate to keep repeating this, but apparently Sting has joined forces with the nWo”. Bullshit, if you hated it that much you’d have shut up about it by now. I mean, jeez, we get it.

This contest is just a brawl, as you’d expect. Not exactly a match for the ages, but all of a sudden, randomly…

This dude on the left appears and begins running/skipping around the ring.

The fuck? It’s like Rockstar Spud’s demented uncle or something. 

He briefly chases Jimmy Hart, then just… vanishes? Oh, and by the way, the commentators make no mention of this. They do not acknowledge this at all. Why? Because they’re talking about everything except the match itself. Literally, I’m not kidding, it’s like this match is not happening. It’s like listening to a radio show or a podcast spliced together with unrelated WCW footage.

Wait, what? What’s happening now? The match is ongoing and they just cut to the back. Judging from the faces of these lads you’d think someone died. It’s a sombre scene to say the least – but seriously, why even have the match in the ring? What’s the point? The commentators are acting like it isn’t happening and we cut to an interview as the match is happening. Bischoff doesn’t even note that we’ve cut away from a match in progress, he just says “take it away Gene”, like this is totally normal. Whatever, I guess. It’s not like I’m desperate to see the Faces of Fear versus Public Enemy, but what a bizarre way to structure… everything.

Gene asks Arn to explain what happened in the parking lot earlier. Seemed quite self-explanatory to me and the commentators have not stopped talking about it since it happened, so the viewers really don’t need any extra information.  

Arn says he doesn’t give a shit about Luger losing a friend, or that he’s lost a team mate, he’s just shocked. He brings up Sting’s loyalty to WCW.

They actually move to a split-screen here – I guess someone in the production truck remembered there is actually a match going on. It wouldn’t be fair to deprive the dozens of Faces of Fear/Public Enemy fans the chance to see their favourite grapplers go at it.

Anyway, Arn says he has a sick feeling in his stomach, he’s shocked, and he’s out of words. He’s said quite a few already, though, so not really.

Flair stands there with his arms folded, eyeing the audience like a disappointed father.

Luger says he doesn’t have any answers, and that his “best friend in the whole world” stabbed him in the back. He then says he knows where Sting lives and where he works out, and he’s going to go and find him “right now”. Sounds like Lex is planning to murk Sting. However, he should keep in mind this is a guy who only last week tried to murder somebody by chucking a rock through the window of a limo, then stole a police car. Come to think of it, I’m not sure why Sting isn’t in jail. Regardless, I wouldn’t be chasing after him without a good plan.

Flair screams that he’s “sick of it” and just generally yells about how they’re going to beat up the nWo at War Games (including Sting). Arn says “it’s a fight to the death – yours, not ours”. I suppose that was worth emphasising? Also Arn has a tendency to see these matches as ending in death, even though it never comes close to that.

We return to the Faces of Fear/Public Enemy match. By “we” I mean the audience – the commentators are still talking about War Games. I genuinely don’t think they have said anything about the match – oh, wait a minute, Bischoff does mention the match, finally. Although he says the teams are “literally fighting for their lives” which is not exactly accurate. What is up with these people thinking matches are going to end so tragically?

Anyway, the brawling continues for a while and eventually, somehow, Rocco Rock ends up lying on a table. Barbarian heads for the top turnbuckle.

Guys, I don’t foresee this ending well. Seriously, what is the absolute best result of this? Rocco (who can clearly see Barbarian on the turnbuckle) for some reason lays there and lets Barbarian jump on him. It’ll be brutal for both. Or, Rocco moves and Barbarian crashes through the table. Either way Barbarian doesn’t win in this scenario.

Uh oh. Jimmy Hart is absolutely useless at holding Rocco down, kicked away like an insect as Rocco sits up.

That is a fucking sick bump. It’s funny because Barbarian barely takes any serious bumps at all, on Nitro at least, then he decides to say fuck it and leaps to the concrete through a table because YOLO I guess?

Well anyway he dead. Rocco brings a second table into the ring.

Looks pretty old. Nick Patrick wags his finger in disapproval, but incredibly that isn’t enough to persuade Public Enemy to stop. They lay Meng on the table, then Rocco goes to the top turnbuckle for a moonsault…

He almost misses the table entirely, only catching Meng with his legs. The table is weak enough that it breaks despite the soft contact.

You’d think that would be the spot that ends the match, but no. Meng gets up like nothing happened and starts brawling with Rocco again. Barbarian is also somehow revived and back in the ring fighting with Grunge. This is weird because the outside table spot with Barbarian getting wiped out, and then Meng getting put through the table by Rocco’s moonsault, felt like the end sequence of the match. Now it’s like we’re back at the start again. Keep in mind the match has been going for about 10 minutes now. That’s at least 7 minutes longer than is ideal for these teams, really.

Whilst Rocco and Barbarian are hugging it out in the corner, Meng puts the Tongan Death Grip on Grunge and now this one is over.

No explanation as to what the fuck was going on with that random ginger guy running around the ring earlier by the way. Oh well. During the replay Heenan accidentally calls Meng “Haku” and then goes silent immediately. Oops.

The Faces of Fear defeat Public Enemy via Pinfall.

Suddenly Okerlund appears at ringside, accompanied by the Dungeon of Doom.

Maxx, Jimmy Hart, Big Bubba, Gene, Kevin Sullivan, Hugh Morrus and Konnan. To quote Rufus from Final Fantasy 7 – “what a crew”.

Sullivan is no longer painting his face with those stupid markings, but for some reason is now wearing a white headband. Does he think he’s the Karate Kid now?

He also starts making this derp face - and this isn’t just a screen grab catching an awkward expression momentarily, he’s making this face on purpose.

For some reason we go to Jimmy Hart first, who tells the Giant “it’s the beginning of the end for you, you just don’t know it yet”. I’m sure he’s quaking in his boots.  

Big Bubba then rants about Glacier, talking about him saying he’s coming for “6 or 7 months” and asking if he’s not debuting because he’s afraid. Slight exaggeration on the 6 or 7 months from Bubba, but to be fair it does feel like those vignettes have been running for at least that long. Bubba actually doesn’t seem to be aware that Glacier debuted on WCW Pro, but it’s WCW Pro, so... understandable. Bubba calls the Dungeon of Doom “the masters of intimidation”…

What he means is that Meng is the master of intimidation. The others aren’t exactly adding much to the equation. Maxx is standing off to the side looking distinctly unimpressed by the entire thing.

With that said, bored does seem to be his default expression regardless of what is happening. I imagine he’d have the same expression even if Bubba was in the process of sprouting three heads whilst doing a kossack dance.

After calling Gene “homes”, Konnan calls Sullivan a “hardened veterano”. He then says Sullivan has seen and led gang wars from coast to coast.

Yes, Kevin Sullivan wearing that silly white headband is exactly what I think of when I think of leaders of gang wars. Sullivan’s ‘wut?’ expression here says it all. I’m not sure you can call the Dungeon of Doom/Alliance to End Hulkamania Versus Hogan and Macho Man a “gang war”. I’m not sure two people can even constitute a gang. Also Sullivan may be worried Konnan is unintentionally (?) implicating him in genuine gang wars… which probably isn’t in the Taskmaster’s best interests.

Konnan challenges the nWo to come out and confront the Dungeon, who he calls “the toughest set”. Yeah, sure. The challenge is not accepted, because the nWo are for sure terrified of a “gang” featuring the likes of Maxx, Kevin Sullivan, Big Bubba and Hugh Morrus.

Sullivan says that Savage thinks he’ll owe the Dungeon “a debt” for carrying him out from the ring last week. I doubt it in all honesty – maybe if they’d actually done something to help him before he’d been beaten down and spraypainted. Carrying him out after the fact didn’t really help much.

Anyhow, Sullivan says Savage can repay this fictional debt by first beating John Tenta, because why not I guess, and then by getting rid of the Giant. That doesn’t really seem like a balanced deal. We carry you backstage after you’ve been beaten up, you make it even by beating John Tenta and the Giant. Hmmm.

Time for some nWo propaganda.

Hogan tells us that they “aren’t here for a stinkin’ reason” – directly contradicting Nash and Hall, who had previously made it clear they’d come in specifically to take over WCW. He then randomly says “we’ve got our boss with us” and points to Ted DiBiase, who’s sitting in a chair behind them.

Homely. DiBiase looks like he’s being held prisoner, but whatever. Hogan says DiBiase makes Ted Turner look like a “pauper”. Honestly I could try to recap this whole thing but it’s really just a bunch of random sound bytes ripping on WCW for the most part. They talk about wanting “their own tag team tournament” for some reason. They also want a segment (on Nitro, presumably) where they can “highlight” their talent. What they actually mean is a segment highlighting Hogan, as we’ll discover going forward. Scott Hall says “nWo 4 life” with the hand sign (might be the first instance of this?) and they all end the segment laughing like it was an amazing joke.

I was a satellite dish owner back then – or rather, my parents were - but no WCW PPVs in the UK, sadly. We only got a butchered hour-long version of Nitro on TNT UK during 1996 & 1997. I didn’t find out that I’d been watching an edited version of the show until many years later. At least now I can sit back and relive the glory of the Faces of Fear Vs Public…. eh, maybe TNT UK were doing us a favour after all.

Back with your bois at the announce desk. Tenay once again has that “stern dad” look, whilst Heenan seems to be whimsically remembering something from years gone by. Take a guess as to what Bischoff is talking about?

A)     The upcoming main event

B)     Meltzer being wrong about everything

C)     Blue Chew

D)     Sting’s betrayal

If you’ve been following along thus far, you’ll know the answer. The lad does genuinely hate big Dave though, and loves that Blue Chew. Come to think of it, what is the main event? I can’t even remember. Sting’s supposed betrayal has been hammered into my brain so many fucking times at this point I can barely conceive of any other event occurring at any wrestling show.

Chris Jericho’s music plays, but…

It’s John Tenta? Still got that stupid haircut by the way. Seriously, fish man, you’ve made your point. Get that shaved.

But yeah, I’m confused here. I thought Jericho was coming out. But hold on, that’s Jericho’s second theme, “One Crazed Anarchist”, aka the Pearl Jam ripoff, not the one he’s using at this point in WCW, which I believe is the Journey ripoff. So John Tenta is in fact the OG “One Crazed Anarchist”. For the record, the theme suits Jericho far more than it suits the former Shark.

As he comes out Tenta says “Savage, you’re not putting me down”. You think so, John?

What exactly has that guy in the hat been up to? That is not the look of an innocent person.

Ohhh yeahhh, it’s the Macho Man. The commentators are pretending that the result of the match is in any doubt, which I suppose they have to do.

John “anti-fish” Tenta Vs “Macho Man” Randy Savage

Savage storms to the ring, but that turns out to be a bad idea as Tenta stomps on the Macho Man’s back as he slides in and then clobbers him with a forearm to the back.

Bad strategy, Macho. Tenta’s moobs though… whoa.

That’s an interesting choice of attire for a wrestling event, madam.

Tenta works over Savage in the corner for a bit. Savage then begins to make a comeback, before for some reason attempting to slam Tenta…

Goes about as well as you’d expect. Macho really needs to work on his strategy.

Bischoff actually specifically says here that Heenan accidentally referred to Meng as “Haku” earlier and wants to make it clear Meng now works for WCW and not the WWF. I guess they were really taking this kind of thing seriously due to the lawsuits flying around at this point in history. Funny though, as you hear these kinds of slip-ups all the time. I mean, if TNA or AEW were sued for every time a commentator accidentally used a competitor’s ex-WWE name there would need to be a legal department created specifically just to deal with the fucking volume. At least Heenan didn’t call it “WWF Nitro”.

Tenta hits Macho with a decent looking drop kick – quite impressive considering his weight. Outside of the ring Savage hits Tenta with a steel chair…

He isn’t disqualified because…? He whacks Tenta twice more with a chair. This is not a no-DQ match, but it is WCW, so fuck the rules unless we need them for storyline purposes, right?

Flying elbow drop!

Macho goes up for a second, but then Teddy Long comes to ringside yelling “Macho!” – what could the so-called “godfather” want with Savage? Also where’s my man Ice Train at? Come to think of it, I just remembered what he was wearing earlier… best for him to stay backstage.

Savage still hits the second elbow drop. Long is gesticulating wildly at Savage and yelling something about the nWo. Savage leaps over the top rope with nice agility.

But before we go any further…

Son, I am disappoint. I can’t even say “A for effort” because that is the lowest tier of effort.

Anyway, Savage follows Teddy to the outside of the arena where Teddy announces “YOU GONNA GO ONE-ON-ONE WITH THE UNDERTAKER PLAYA!”

Actually, they run towards a limo.              

The limo drives off as soon as Savage approaches it. What was the point of that?

Flair and Mongo randomly appear as the limo drives away.

There’s another limo there, but only a box of spraypaint inside it. There are a ton of WCW guys out there now – the Horsemen, the Dungeon, Public Enemy, Juvi, Super Calo, Savage… basically everyone who was on TV tonight. They start spraypainting “WCW” on the limo windows… or rather, they try to. Due to the fact it’s been raining and everywhere is wet it ends up just looking like a green smudge. As an aside, if that is in fact not an nWo limo, somebody is going to be in for a surprise.  

For some reason the commentators are all standing up. Tenay is looking more evil every time he’s on camera. It’s like he wants to reach through the camera and strangle each and every viewer.

Seriously though, he is repeatedly making a “pissed-off dad” face.

“Dad, I borrowed your car…”

“Um… and… I got a speeding ticket…”

“And there’s a dent on the front as I kinda sorta knocked over the mailbox…”

Grounded forever.

Anyway, once they all sit back down Heenan goes on a rant about the nWo which concludes with “if we don’t stop them now then they can’t be stopped”. If only you could glimpse into the future and nWo 2000, Bobby.

Oh, by the way, I guess John Tenta won the match against Savage by count out? It wasn’t announced or shown, but Savage jumped out of the ring and never returned, so…

John Tenta defeats “Macho Man” Randy Savage via Countout.

I guess Tenta was right, Savage didn’t put him down after all. Score one for the fish hating weirdo.

Double A suddenly appears on set. Heenan gives Arn his headset. Can’t help but think it’d be better for Anderson to be in the ring with a mic, as the fans in the arena can’t hear any of this… but whatever.

Arn says that the world is “in shock” and “outraged”. The world is probably a bit of a stretch, but OK. Flair turns up as Arn is talking, as do Benoit and Mongo. Arn says that this all began ten years ago with the original Horsemen, and that they paved the way and showed the nWo how to do it. Technically true. Arn says the nWo want to be the Horsemen “when they grow up”.

Tenay continuing to give that evil stare, even at Arn. Bischoff looks kind of sad.

As an aside, I may have mentioned it before, but I really like this shirt design:

Bischoff begins talking about making mistakes, but Flair interrupts him. Flair screams so loudly that the headset seems to take some damage as the volume decreases slightly. Flair explains War Games – although if you don’t know what it is by this point then what have you been doing with your life? – and says Hogan won’t leave War Games alive. Spoiler alert: he does.

Bischoff then talks about how maybe bringing Hogan in to WCW was “a mistake” and that the Horsemen “haven’t been given their just due”. The same exact sentence could have been said in 2000 and been even more relevant.

WCW then ends the show with a replay of Luger getting beaten up by “Sting” and the nWo. I’m sure he appreciates that. A good thing they reminded us, as I think a whole ten seconds passed at the end there without mention of Sting’s betrayal and my memory had started to go hazy.

[themonkeycabal]

Wandavision Ep 6 Spoilers

No really, spoilers. 

Previously on Wandavision — Wanda told SWORD to shove their drones right straight up their asses, Vision woke up to the reality that his utopian sitcom life was in fact a dystopian hellscape, their children were extremely creepy, and Agnes was being bizarre as hell and super sus. In the real world, Acting Director Dick was a dick, and Darcy and Jimmy welcomed Monica into their sciencey weird-crime-fighting team. Monica also mentioned an aerospace engineer she knows, which some suggest may be the first mention of Reed Richards in the MCU. I have conflicted feelings about the Fantastic Four. Mostly I never liked them. But, I'm open to revising my opinion.

Oh, and also X-Men 'Verse Pietro showed up suddenly and that was fun.

Anyway. the roommate and I tried to sort out a timeline — so Monica unBlips and goes back to work at SWORD three weeks later. AD Dick tells us Wanda stole Vision's body nine days previously. That means, just three weeks ago Wanda was in the middle of a battle, lost her boyfriend, was Snapped, was then unsnapped to fall right into the middle of another battle. Lost THREE additional teammates. And then sometime in the following week found out a shady government agency had Vision's body and she probably went "OH HELL NO". Because that's what I would say. So she goes to SWORD, dents a few doors, takes Vision's body and swans off to New Jersey. Look, she's been through a hell of a lot in the last couple weeks, is what I'm saying. I don't blame her a tiny bit. But, also, I don't think she's entirely behind this.

10-year old boy plus video camera = the 90s. Obnoxious opening credits. But, you know, I kind of liked them (as a one off). WAYYY better than last week's.

It's Halloween, and *sigh* Billy is breaking the fourth wall and narrating to the camera. There's childish twin bickering as you expect, Tommy's the wild and crazy twin, and Billy's the buttoned up twin. And Pietro is passed out on the couch at 4 in the afternoon. Living his best life. He teasingly scares the boys, chases them around, and there's awkward child acting.

Wanda comes down the stairs in the classic Scarlet Witch costume, and says she's a Sokovian Fortune Teller. Sokovia was more wild than I realized.

Genuinely funny flashback to Wanda and Pietro trick-or-treating in Sokovia as kids, 'the year we got typhus'. lol. Was it the fish that gave them typhus? Or was that just a special treat? Wanda doubts this version of events, and Pietro suggests she suppressed the memory due to the trauma. This gives Billy the chance to tell the camera that mom's been weird since uncle Pietro turned up to crash on their couch.

Next it's Vision's turn to appear in the classic Vision costume. Yikes. Wanda thanks him for humoring her, and he says there were no other clothes in his closet and they have a very weird second where he's not playing along and she's not sure what to do, and then he breaks into sitcom character says something about "just kidding, i know how much you love mexican wrestling" like it's a luchador costume, and then there's some super weird flirting. TMI you two.

Meanwhile, Pietro is a large child and the kids love him, of course. So there's that.

Back to Wanda and Vision, she's ready to take the kids out trick-or-treating, but Vision says he can't go, he's on the neighborhood watch and must patrol the streets ever-vigilant for wild gangs of child hooligans who might TP trees. He's gone off-script and it takes Wanda a second to figure out how to play this. She says it's the boys' first Halloween so he has to be there. Pietro breaks up the almost argument and says he can be a father figure-type and he'll help with the boys. Vision's still pretty off-script but Wanda doesn't fight it but looks uncertain, and he goes off to protect the night — or early afternoon.

Pietro is a child hooligan and wants to go do hooligany things with the kids. Wanda says he doesn't have a costume and he grabs Billy and they speed off only to return dressed in classic Quicksilver duds. Well, cheap-looking, thrown together Quicksilver duds. I laughed. The hair. lol. Good one.

Outside in the real world. The Hex field is still kind of glowing red and making bad force field noises. It only started doing that when Wanda got pissed in the last ep. Oh, goody, it's Acting Director Dick. I've learned his name is Hayward. I don't care.

Blah blah Stompy Mc-I'm-In-Charge blah. Monica is not pleased about the whole trying to kill Wanda with a missile while she was talking to her plan. AD Dick just says "now we know who we're dealing with". Um … what? You tried to kill her and her response was to tell you to go away. Yeah, boy, she's a monster.

Darcy is there to helpfully remind AD Dick that Wanda made him look like the fool he is. ILU girl. "Hey, there he is; the guy who almost got murdered by his own murder squad." Jimmy just makes a 'i'm so disappointed in you and your choices' face at him in the background.

I despise characters like Hayward. They are so tedious. Narratively they are there to incite conflict, but given the situation conflict naturally exists, surely there are other ways to bring up/drive that tension without the trope of the government heavy ready to solve the problem with the most extreme amount of force available to him. OH no! Our plucky heroes will have to find a way to save the day and fight the Man! Can they do it? Boring. It's too bad General Talbot went insane and then died; he could probably give tips on How Not To Be That Guy.

Anyway

Hayward wants to know if Darcy works for him and she's like "dunno my dude", Monica claims her, AD Dick says "which one of you is the sassy best friend" and Jimmy's like, that is quite enough Acting Director Not Very Nice Man. "There's no time to diminish your colleagues when you're about to start a war you can't win." AD Dick just wants to take out Wanda so the whole nightmare ends. Monica's like um, we literally do not know what's going on. Like, for real we have no clue. So that might not, in fact, end the nightmare, Director Murder Britches.

They argue a lot and Director Dick goes off the rails. Dude's like more unhinged than seems warranted. Unless he's just so embarrassed that he pissed himself when Wanda returned his murder drone to him, he's decided SHE MUST BE DESTROYED FOR THE GOOD OF … NEW JERSEY AND MY SOILED UNDERWEAR OR SOMETHING. 

"Captain Rambeau, you are an impediment to this mission!" Oh no! He's gonna tell her all about how hard it was to survive in a post-blip world, all those lucky blipped don't know what it was like! You just can't understand! Monica tells him not to use that as an excuse to be a coward. I'm so bored with this scene. Let me guess, the trio will have to go behind his back to save the day.

"Maybe it's a good thing you weren't here with your mother died. Because, clearly you don't have the stomach for this job." … non-sequitur much? Or is he saying she would have inherited the Director-ship (which should probably not be how that sort of agency works, let's be real). Is this scene five hours long, or does it just feel that way?

The Dick banishes the trio from his base.

"Hayward is way over-stepping his provisional authority". Jimmy Woo, you're so great. Monica says he's up to something. Yeah a tactical nuke and murder. Clearly he doesn't want to actually solve the problem, he just wants the problem to go away with a big show of macho explosions and whatnot. I suspect he might be in over his head, like he was not meant to be Acting Director, let alone Director. Also, he's a boring cliche stereotype and I loathe it.

JIMMY! I legit did not see that coming. He just pure hauls off and clocks one of the soldiers escorting them off the base, to a transport truck or something. Monica seems just as surprised for a second but then she's like "hell yeah!" and jumps in. Darcy sort of stands back and watches. lol. "Why didn't anyone tell me the plan?"

Oh look, it's my shipping container! They put the soldiers in there. Guys, it was for Hayward. Come on.

The trio disguise themselves with ponchos, which is a big step up from the usual MCU disguise of "baseball hat". That was a good bit in Ant-man and the Wasp "it's not a disguise, it just looks like us at a baseball game" (I watched that like last week. I missed Luis). Anyway …

Back in the sitcom world. The kids are ready for their early afternoon trick-or-treating. They're still talking to the camera. It's so awkward. I'm not a fan. I get it's meant to reproduce the very 90s Nick-era sitcoms and so, you know, it's spot on. Still, though.

Pietro is encouraging and supportive. "Unleash hell, demon spawn!"

Dang there are a lot of kids in that neighborhood. Wasn't Vision wondering last episode why there weren't any kids? Is the program correcting itself?

Wanda tries to test Pietro, asking him about some kid at an orphanage when they were kids. Pietro calls her on it, and says he knows he looks different. Wanda wants to know why that is. He says, "You tell me. I mean, if I found shangra-la, I wouldn't want to be reminded of the past, either." Hmm.

The kids speed off with uncle Pietro. Wanda wanders over to talk to neighbor Herb, who has a g-man earbud in and is clearly part of the neighborhood watch. In the background Pietro is stealing all the candy and smashing pumpkins and spraying the place with silly string. The hijinks are so wacky. Wanda tells Herb maybe Vision can help out with the chaos, and Herb says Vision isn't on duty. Oh no, he lied to her!

Herb goes weird "is there something I can do for you, Wanda? Do you want something changed?" Hmmm.

Elsewhere Vision is wandering the wild streets of Westview. He finds people caught in some type of weird decorating loop, the woman seems trapped but aware.

Commercial time!  What the fuck was that. "Yo-magic! The snack for survivors." No, really, what the fuck.

Night has fallen, the twins and the twins walk the streets. Wanda's making the boys give back all the candy they stole. She says Pietro is a bad influence. He says "I'm just trying to do my part, kay? Come to town unexpectedly, create tension with the brother-in-law, stir up trouble with the rugrats, and ultimately give you grief. I mean, that's what you wanted, isn't it?"

"What happened to your accent?"

"What happened to yours? Details are fuzzy, man. I got shot like a chump in the street for no reason." AHAHAHAHAHAHA! AHAHAHAHAHA! no really AHAHAHAHAAH! Thank you, Pietro! Holy shit, perfect. That's some delicious shade. I expect to see this gif'd fifteen different ways when I load tumblr today.

"Next thing I know, I heard you calling me. I knew you needed me."

The kids interrupt. And now all of a sudden Tommy can zoom. Character development!

Everyone is so careful to give Wanda what she wants. Why? She's not cruel. Who wants to keep her pacified? And whoever it is cannot possibly be pleased with AD Dick messing things up. Assuming it's an outside or outside-ish force/entity, of course. I mean, I don't think she's doing this entirely, she might be the battery powering it, but despite her thing last episode to get SWORD to leave her alone, she does seem a little confused about the where, why, and how things are going.

"Don't go past Ellis Avenue." Just a kid thing or a boundary of the sitcom control world?

In the real world, our heroes are sneaking through a tent city and into the server room. The scene with Pietro and Wanda discussing his accent is playing in the background. Darcy seems put-out that Pietro was recast. lol. "He brought the wrong face."

Darcy hacks into Hayward's devices. "Hayward figured out a way to look through the boundary." "And he didn't share it with the group." I don't like Hayward. 

Something is blipping on the map on the computer. Jimmy asks if it's Wanda, but Darcy says "it's tracking the decay signature of vibranium". So Vision. Monica wants to know why Hayward is tracking Vision. Well, I'd super like to know what SWORD was doing with Vision in the first place, because they weren't just storing him, they were doing something. So …

Jimmy notices that there are other dots, the ones closest to Vision, who are other residents. Jimmy says the ones near the edge of town are barely moving.

Back to Vision. He's found a cul-de-sac to patrol. Everybody's frozen in place, the street lights flicker. Eerie. They're all dressed for Halloween. Does this mean the field is shrinking, or the effects spreading and so it's closing in, slowing and then freezing people who were earlier moving about just fine? Vision is unaffected by this whatever it is. He turns himself into himself and flies off, up above the town. part of the town is dark, and part alive with voices and laughter.

He spots a car at the edge of town. It's Agnes. She seems frozen-ish, but when he asks what she's doing there, she says "Town Square Scare. Where is it?" all robotic like. Vision helpfully tries to give directions. lol. "Took a wrong turn, got lost" she says.

Vision touches her head and she wakes up. "You! You're one of the Avengers. You're Vision. Are you here to help us?" "I am Vision. I do want to help. But, what's an Avenger?"

Hmm. Well, I guess he did say last week that he couldn't remember anything before Westview.

"Am I dead?" she asks. "No, why would you think that?" "Because you are."

What was news coverage after the Snap like, do you suppose? I mean, ridiculous, of course. But, like, I think they had bigger problems then wondering about snapped/dead Avengers, didn't they? Well, maybe not. "WHERE ARE AVENGERS TO HELP US?" or "HOW DARE THE AVENGERS NOT HELP US!" "TOTALLY THIS IS ON THE AVENGERS!" "WE'D ALL BE DEAD WITHOUT THE AVENGERS!" "NUHUH! BOO AVENGERS!" "EXCEPT VISION WHO DIED HEROICALLY, WE ALL LIKE THAT AVENGER!" "TONY STARK AND PEPPER POTTS SHARE THE DECORATING TIPS THAT TRANSFORMED THEIR RUSTIC RESTORATION PROJECT INTO A CHARMING FAMILY HOME".

Agnes starts screaming "Dead" at Vision. She's not coping well. Vision says he's going to try and reach outside town and try to figure this all out. "How? No one leaves. Wanda won't even let us think about it." I SUSPECT YOU, AGNES! Why would Wanda keep everybody trapped and miserable? I could see if she did it on accident, but this implies she's purposefully hurting people. I don't buy it. Agnes, again, seems to be in the right place at the right time to make Vision doubt Wanda. You're a very suspicious character, Agnes.  

She starts to laugh. "All is lost." Vision touches her had and she resets to sitcom Agnes. Somehow she can move again, she turns the car around on Ellis Ave and heads back into town. So, that answers that.

Vision walks across the Eillis Ave to the field beyond.

Meanwhile, Darcy continues to hack. Monica gets a text and says "that's it! My way back into the Hex will be here in an hour." Jimmy's all ready to boost a ride to take her to meet her aerospace buddy. But, Darcy says, nope. Can't do it. Monica's been through the Hex twice, and it's rewritten her cells. "It's changing you." Monica is undaunted. "I know what Wanda's feeling and I won't stop until I help her." Alrighty then.

Jimmy's finally going to get to hotwire a car! But wait, Darcy's not going with them. AD Dick has something hidden behind one last firewall. Darcy thinks it's big and can help them. She's going to find it.

I don't think Jimmy had to hotwire that humvee. It just started right up. Motorpool, pfft - they always leave the keys.

Back in Westview. Halloween continues at Town Square. Pietro asks Wanda where she was hiding all those kids. Whu? Says Wanda. "I assume they were all just sleeping peacefully in their beds. No need to traumatize beyond the occasional holiday cameo, amiright?" What is Pietro. "Hey don't get me wrong, you've handled the ethical considerations of this scenario as best you could. Families and couples stay together. Most personalities aren't far from what's underneath. People got better jobs. Better haircuts for sure."

"You don't think it's wrong?"

"Are you kidding me? I'm impressed. It's a pretty big leap from giving people nightmares and shooting red wigglywoos out your hands." No, really, what is Pietro? "How'd you even do all this?" Hmmm.

"I don't know how I did it. I only remember feeling completely alone. Empty. Just endless nothingness." She looks back at Pietro and for a second he's dead Pietro. Poor Wanda.

Darcy continues to hack Hayward's systems. Cataract classified weapons something something. They're still tracking Vision. Who continues his walk across the field and comes to the hex. He tries to push through it. Looks painful. SWORD rolls out to go overreact at him. He makes it through the barrier, kind of. It's a struggle.

Hayward standing there looking like a jackass "he really does want out, doesn't he?" Like he’s just amused by this turn of events, or watching a lab rat try to get out of the lab. 

Darcy's standing behind watching all of this. Bits of Vision sort of fly off and back into the Hex. Darcy says "oh no!" and runs towards him, screaming for them to help him. Way to give away your sneaky hiding, girlfriend.

In Westview. Billy looks up, he can hear what's going on outside. "I hear daddy in my head. He's in trouble."

Vision calls for help, while SWORD prioritizes arresting Darcy. Phil Coulson would never have behaved like this. Boo to SWORD. Vision is dissolving. It's kind of gross and sad.

Wanda asks where Vision is, and Pietro interrupts "Don't sweat it, sis. It's not like your dead husband can die twice." Wanda wallops him with some red wigglywoos.

Billy sees soldiers and thinks Vision is dying. Wanda stops everything and makes a big red boom. The Hex appears to be expanding. Whoops, now you've done it AD Dick. He runs away like the brave brave guy he is. They leave Darcy handcuffed to a jeep. "Are you serious right now?"

The Hex overtakes Vision and then Darcy. Trapped soldiers become clowns, and we're in the circus. Well, SWORD seems like a circus, so Wanda's not wrong. I'm pretty sure Jimmy and Monica made it, but sadly the bravest Director who ever braved also escaped. He deserved to be a circus clown. Better luck next week, Wanda.

Credits.

Well, I just don't know anymore.

Hayward doesn't care about Wanda, except where I think because of this someone will figure out what he was doing to Vision's body. And Vision is ultimately the thing he cares about in all this. I hope Wanda drops a house on him.

Hmmm.

Quit suggesting I watch Age of Ultron next, Disney. It’s not happening. 

[anne-with-an-evangelion]

Grace, i really enjoyed/still enjoy reading your fic feat. britney spears LOL --- this fic is a treasure...! but i'll save my rants for comment section on ao3. why i'm here: i'm about to start on your western au, but i'm not familiar with the genre so my question is, do you have any list of movies/shows that might help me visualize while reading it? also, check your kofi page >:D

Oh my goodness YOU ARE TOO KIND AHHHHH !!!!!!!!Thank you from the bottom of my heart !!! Omfg I was in shock when I saw this message I am in such gratitude and I’m kissing you as we speak 🗣

I’m so so glad you enjoyed the fic and I hope you like RNR too !!! Western films are all over the spectrum and they’re often about revenge, community, and fighting corruption (those are the best ones IMO) Classic spaghetti westerns are still considered some of the best films ever made for a reason but they can also be super long, with little dialogue, very dramatic, very gripping and violent. The land around the character is always a character itself in these stories, def one of the tenets of the western genre, BUT…… it’s a nonsensical white myth that the ‘frontier’ was untamed and uncivilized, and it really functions as revisionist history in the worst way sometimes. As usual, media affects and reflects our reality and history, but people have to create that media, and most of the people creating these, Wild West, empty frontier, battling with ‘scary tribes’ films were white men (or Italians..) who wanted and needed people to think the west was empty, uncivilized, and needed to be protected and claimed by white people.

Writing RNR has led me to learn so many new things and I think once you get interested in the time period and keep digging, you will learn so much you might have never been taught in school or seen in a movie. But I also keep in mind this time period was not that long ago and what I can research for fun is real shit that still affects people today. When you start thinking about the horrible genocide, displacement, murder, and slavery that America was founded on, the western genre starts looking pretty… out of touch, honestly. The experiences of both enslaved and free Black people, Mexican people whose land we were taking, and Chinese immigrants who basically built the railroad system that allowed more travel to the west- they’re pretty much completely ignored in this genre, and Indigenous tribes are very cruelly represented, if they are at all, despite the objectively horrible way white Americans treated (and treat) them. And forget about gay or trans people! I would love to see WAY more films/media in general that really centers the people who weren’t lone gun slinging womanizing white cis cowboys (also a myth, most cowboys were Black or Mexican, and they were frequently, secretly fond of each other) so if anyone ever has any recs….. please drop them to meeeee!!! I heard The Good The Bad and The Weird is a really good non-American western, that’s next on me list. That being said here are a bunch of movies I’ve watched that influenced me in some kinda way. They’re not all ‘great’ or historically accurate but….. neither is RNR LOL. Posse for example is pretty infamous for that but it’s totally worth a watch for its story about Black cowboys! And you’ll also notice a trend of like, the white savior and ‘noble savage’ stereotype if you start watching westerns. Hostiles is a good example of this, I think they wanted the story to be inclusive of the Cheyenne Nation POV/history but then they should have actually centered those characters instead of the white people trauma but I digress……I put an asterisk next to the ones I personally think are most accessible as far as plot/general vibes. I’m not like endorsing these all as Amazing Historical Films obviously but here they are!

(I put Seven Samurai on there as it is formative in general if you haven’t seen it yet. I think I was also watching a lot of Westworld when I first started writing RNR, and that has some beautiful settings and costumes, [I deleted a long rant about westworld here lol], and True Grit was actually the film that set off my whole RNR writing experience.)

Many western films or what we think of as the ‘wild west’ time period overlaps with the American Civil War. A lot of people point to the Ken Burns doc as the definitive place to start and I certainly watched it in school but again, it’s a very white man-centric doc and even actively sympathetic at times to the Confederacy so.. don’t bother with that. This article discussing it is worth a read.

Honestly, scrap this entire list and just watch Blazing Saddles. It will explain everything.

Some other good resources to start with

Read about BASS REEVES!! The legend - the Lone Ranger!

Western Violence, Law, and Order

What Wild West saloons were really like

How did westward expansion impact the Native Americans?

Black Cowboys: the overlooked heroes of the west

The true origin of country music

We Shall Remain

The Forgotten Trans History of the Wild West

Ok this is getting super long but I hope that is a good place to start!!! Also here is my huge 350+ song playlist I listen to when I write, has a large mix of different genres and artists. You can also check out my rnr stuff tag or just the rivers and roads tag, I’m working on consolidating them into one but that’s where I sequester the vibes as I find them. ENJOY I LOVE YALL SOOOOOO MUCH