#MY BRAVE BEAUTIFUL SELFLESS BOY 😭😭😭

[beif0ngs]

Sometimes taking a leap forward means... leaving a few things behind.

[bittersweet-nothingss]

“I was only falling in love”

This line gets me every. single. time. I always associate it with Theo because if you really think about it, Theo's story is heartbreaking.

His whole life, even before the dread doctors, was so sad, with him having his heart condition and probably having shitty parents who couldn't do much, which led to Theo listening and going with the dread doctors for help. For that to only turn out to him being made into a killer, ripped off of any humanity or innocence, and molded into whatever they wanted (along with having to survive and endure all the pain, torture, and experiments, + being alone throughout his entire time with them),

Then he goes through all of the stuff, trying to become the Alpha and kill Scott, take his power, kill Tracy and Josh, and get sent to hell by Kira. Then his entire time in hell itself, which was the turning point for him in his story, all the trauma and pain he had to endure by getting his heart ripped out again and again by his sister, is the one thing he truly regrets and will forever haunt him.

Then along comes Liam Dunbar. Liam Liam Liam—the blue-eyed beta— who changed everything for Theo. This boy, "the beta with anger issues," turned Theo's whole world upside down, first by releasing him from his own personal hell and then sticking up for him, keeping him by his side throughout the war, and saving him. Theo found comfort in Liam in a way he had never found in anyone else. Because he never got the chance to. Theo's humanity and emotions came back after his time in hell and after being brought back.

There was an understanding between Theo and Liam and a level of connection that wasn't with anyone else or one that they had with anyone else. I think it hit harder for Theo because of his past, but when he finally realizes the extent of his feelings, it stops because we never see what happens next.

The last scene we have with them directly speaking is so raw and beautiful; it's the last time we see Theo being vulnerable in Liam's presence alone considering the fact that he normally has a facade in front of everyone else since the beginning, yet the look and smile he gives Liam in the elevator is so bittersweet.

It seems as though he knows that this may be the last time he's ever going to get this close to or even just be alone with Liam at all. The boy who was his savior and who he couldn't help but love for being so kind and courageous—a boy who has rage living inside of him, running through him almost the same way his blood is—yet he's so selfless and brave, and he's trying his hardest in a world that forced him to grow up too fast.

The scene in the elevator will forever remind me that Theo was in fact only falling in love with Liam. He fell hard, yet he's reminding himself that for him, happy endings don't exist. His happiness ends here. The one thing he wants nothing more than in that moment is to have Liam; however, with the way his luck is and who he is, it's not enough. He was only falling in love, an act that was outside of his control and power—two things he's longed for his whole life, but his story ends here.

Something so pure and beautiful that was cut short too fast.

Sorry for the whole essay I had to get this off my chest and my head was hurting from thinking about this all day.

My baby deserved so much better and this is not even half of what I wanna say, I could go on for hours. 😭

[marimbles]

Hope you don’t mind me asking lol, I stumbled upon your blog and I see you are in the throes of Ouran hyperfixation 😅 What are your opinions on each member of the host club?

yes im definitely in the throes thanks for noticing<3 lol. i'd be delighted to share my opinions on each member of the host club !! this will be LONG bc i have a lot to say about these binches (also this will have manga spoilers). so i'll put it under a cut

Haruhi—honestly what's not to love. she's scruffy and apathetic and grumpy and direct and 300% done with everything, including gender conformity. "these damn rich people" yes king go off. also you're so valid for being 90% motivated by food. it's such a perfect and fascinating idea to drop a person like fujioka haruhi into a group of ridiculous dramatic people like the host club and see how they fare. impressively well, actually. she cleans up nice and is surprisingly charming and intuitive underneath the apathy. but this is only what you find out in like the first episode!!! she grows so much over the course of the story, especially in the manga, and it warmed my heart so much and made me so proud of her 😭 how her relationship with the host club members changed her as a person and even enabled her to better pursue her lifelong dreams. ugh. i love how falling in love with tamaki gave haruhi such a beautiful character arc. first her resistance (which was both understandable and hilarious), because he's so STUPID and RIDICULOUS and in her mind is the last kind of person she'd want to be with, but then she realizes how much she has learned from him and how much he's opened her heart, and she's so inspired by him—to experience new things and understand people better and challenge her preconceived notions and grow to be a better, kinder person, which will make her a better lawyer too. she's actually so brave, to step out of her comfort zone, and connect with others, and to learn how to accept help, when she closed herself off as a coping mechanism when she was so young. she has so much patience to deal with the host club theatrics and a lot of patience with her dad, who is also rather theatrical lol. she had to grow up young and mature so fast and i like how through the host club she learned how to have fun and let other people support and admire her too. ugh i just love her! she has such a soft and good heart and she learns to love so deeply even though it initially went against her nature! she's soooo stray italian greyhound coded to me.

Tamaki—my favorite. one of my favorite characters of all time now actually. im just obsessed with him. i already have a weakness for blond boys with sad backstories and i blorbified him so so fast. as a longtime adrien agreste stan it was inevitable, once i learned about his existence. i saw the most pathetic drama queen loser in all of fiction and i went "yeah he's perfect." i loved him as soon as i watched an episode but i think it was this post that really sold me on him and convinced me to read the manga. i mean isn't he just the guy of all time. as a sillyguy myself i can't not adore him, because he is SO silly and SO dramatic and SO larger-than-life ridiculous, and i am just a big fan of that. but at the same time he has a surprising amount of depth, revealed little by little, that just made me fall even more in love with him as i learned more! cause the thing about tamaki is that everything about him is over-the-top and outlandish—including the size of his heart, and the way he cares about other people, and the lengths he will go to to help them. he's like incredibly narcissistic and incredibly selfless, at the same time. such a fascinating contradiction to me. he has such big feelings whether it's overwhelming grief over a stranger's sob story or unbridled excitement over a mcdonald's happy meal toy. i think all in all tamaki's character can be summed up with one word: love. he just loves everything and everyone to an incomprehensible degree, and that love is transformative. he loves his broken family to the point of wholenesss, and his lonely schoolmates the the point of chosen family, and haruhi to the point of courage—because he was just as confused and afraid as she was, and they both learned to be brave enough to love in a way they always thought was impossible for them. he just loves the whole world and it loves him back, because when you put that much love out there it's bound to be reflected back to you. i love how essentially tamaki annoyed all his friends into becoming his found family lol, because as stupid and obnoxious as he is, he cares SO much, and that's how he won each one over individually, to the point that they'd do practically anything for him. despite being pretty obtuse about himself he's very intuitive about other people and he is able to see them as they really are, in a way they couldn't even see themselves yet, and understand them to a degree that allows them to understand themself. anyway im always crying about him, cause. yeah.

Kyoya—man i love him. so calm and cool and collected and lowkey an evil genius. i love how he plays off tamaki so perfectly. they truly are a married couple lmao. but again!!! in signature ouran fashion, there is much more to him than meets the eye! they're all so much more than the "type" they are assigned! because yes kyoya is the "cool one," the genius one, the guy who always has a plan, the one who's constantly strategizing internally and weighing pros and cons and thinking 9 steps ahead, who only does things for his own benefit … but also underneath he is so passionate. he has all the emotions he tends not to show. fear and anger and grief and love. the anime did such a good job of portraying this because sometimes i think about that scene with him painting inside the golden frame and then it zooms out and he's made a giant beautiful work of art outside the frame, with every color, and i just sort of wanna cry about it. the hidden depths of kyoya ootori...i love that, like haruhi, he learned that it's important to have fun, and if your best friend is a complete idiot, it's good for you! (albeit sometimes detrimental to your health and sanity, lol.) again i loved how they handled it in the anime where in the end he shows his father how intelligent and powerful and in control he was, just to let all of that go, because he found what made him happy, and that was more important than any of it. i love a guy who forms unbreakable bonds first against his will but then puts his whole heart into them! who learns to defy expectations and forge his own path! who learns that happiness is its own end! MAN!! ok also the part in the manga where he spends his whole paris vacation searching for tamaki's mom and completely exhausts himself and falls asleep in the street because of it, just because he wanted to be able to report back to tamaki that she was alive and well. i might cry. im a tamaharu shipper but i have a very soft spot for kyotama.

Kaoru—i get emotional about him sometimes. he is sooooo 😭 ok because at first, the twins are identical both in looks and personality. but as the story progresses, their individuality becomes more obvious, and kaoru reveals himself as the more emotionally mature twin. i love the twins for being mischievous and silly and obnoxious and just a tiny bit evil sometimes, and for always making fun of tamaki (i mean SOMEONE has to), but they both have a lot a depth underneath that which makes them so dear to me 🥺 and kaoru. oh. baby boy. he's so intuitive, often seeing what hikaru is unwilling/unable to see, and so self-sacrificial, always willing to put his brother's needs over his own. the way he was developing feelings for haruhi the whole time, just like hikaru was, but he was the first to realize and admit it to himself, and he gave hikaru space to figure it out too. and then how he is honest with haruhi and confesses to her but in the same breath tells her that his relationship with hikaru is too important to jeopardize, so he bows out gracefully even as he speaks up. UGH! sometimes i just think about that part in the manga where he talks with haruhi about how he wouldn't know what to do if he and hikaru wanted the same thing and both couldn't have it, and then later they have a box of cookies and there's not enough for everyone so he saves his for hikaru, and then haruhi points out that he found the answer to his question, didn't he? about what he would do if they wanted the same thing? so then he ends up stepping back to let hikaru pursue haruhi instead of him, promising to support him, and helping him grow and mature into a better person. wahhhh...... he's a sort of tragic character to me honestly. like it makes me a little sad to think about him. but he just has a good heart, and he ends up happy because the change he was afraid would make him lose the relationships that were most important to him actually made them even stronger.

Hikaru—i think i have a slightly softer spot for kaoru, but i really really love hikaru as well, and i think his character arc is one of the best in the series. he's definitely the brasher/less mature twin in the beginning, who tends to let jealousy and anger get the better of him and he lashes out sometimes because of his frustration and confusion about his own feelings. he struggles with self-awareness and kaoru knows that, which is why he gives hikaru opportunities to self-discover and figure himself out. hikaru falling for haruhi and admitting that to himself and others, even haruhi, was so important for him as someone who always defaulted to keeping others out and viewed everyone but kaoru as an outsider. he really didn't trust anyone but kaoru with his thoughts and feelings, but being part of the club made him open up, examine himself, and consciously choose to mature. one of my favorite hikaru moments is when he dyes his hair dark to show that he's an individual who is separate from his twin and wants to be viewed as such, but at the same time he makes it clear to kaoru that being individuals doesn't mean they have to drift apart or be any less important to each other—and he's determined for them to stay just as close even as they pursue separate paths for the first time in their lives. i also love his rivalry with tamaki over haruhi and how that affects him and forces him to grow. another favorite moment is when he demands that tamaki open his eyes and encourages him to not let his trauma get the best of him. instead of letting tamaki stay ignorant of his feelings for haruhi, which would be to his advantage, he makes tamaki realize them so they could have an equal chance to pursue her. he has so many sweet moments where he feels conflicted about tamaki, wishing he was out of the picture but also feeling so much gratitude and affection for him. he just really loves tamaki, and really loves kaoru, and really loves haruhi, and that love that started out with so much hurt and jealously makes him grow into a more selfless and genuine and mature person, when he finally, like kaoru, bows out and chooses to be happy for tamaki and haruhi. ugh he's a good boy even though he acts like a turd sometimes. lol.

Honey—i don't have as strong of feelings for honey as the others i've gone over but he is still a great character! obviously he's adorable, and i just find him very sweet and enjoyable. and of course the fact that the sweets-obsessed boy lolita who carries around a stuffed bunny is actually a genius and also a martial arts master who can take down 50 guys singlehandedly...yeah it's pretty dope lmao. i love how he learned from tamaki the meaning of true inner strength—not pretending to be something your not for someone else's sake, but being unapologetically YOU and embracing what makes you happy! honey learns to comfortably live a seemingly contradictory life, because he openly loves his cake and cutesie stuff but he remains a strong and well-respected leader and master of the haninozuka martial arts. it's funny and but also very fitting to me that in the manga he ends up with the girl from the black magic club—someone who's different from him in what appears to be every way, but honey is not afraid of contradiction and appreciates people being themselves!

Mori—he's the host i least connect with, just because he doesn't get much focus and also barely speaks lol. but i still love mori! i really admire his loyalty—just the truest friend anyone could ever ask for. he and honey are such an iconic duo. his "lovely item" lol. it's really sweet how much of a natural protector he is—not just how he looks out for honey but also haruhi and the whole host club. he's a very compassionate person with strong principle. one of my favorite mori moments is when he demands a fight with honey just so he feels like he has the right to tell him what to do and remind him to brush his teeth when they're apart for college haha. also shout out to the part where tamaki desperately asks "do you ever think about kissing honey-senpai" because he's freaking out about haruhi and mori says no but later is shown worrying that he screwed tamaki up by lying, because he does actually think about kissing honey 😂

ok this concludes my Opinion Of The Hosts soapbox hour, thank you for asking and sorry i answered:) tldr i love them all lol

[wordbunch]

Thranduil

Elrond ROP

Elrond LOTR/TH

Faramir

Eowyn

Arwen

Tauriel

omg this is gonna be a whole ass presentation! 😂

THRANDUIL: tall and glorious, KING, literally so rich, lives in a beautiful home, i get to be Legolas' step mother?? SLAY. 💅🏻 eyebrows for days, drama queen™, all very good things. however he is a tiny bit too bitchy for my liking and there is something slightly scary about him 👀👀 8/10 i think

i'll rate rop elrond in another ask that i got

ELROND LOTR: eyebrows for days, literally runs the best hotel safe homey place!!! ❤️ good father vibes, is helpful and very knowledgeable and i love a nerd!, but a bit done with life (which is understandable 😅). however he gives me VERY ancient vibes and like he's sorta tired 😕😔 i like people who are leaning more towards energetic. 7.7/10

FARAMIR: one of the very best out there!!! beautiful boy, brave and selfless, NERD!!! but also a warrior, his home is beautiful, he's smart and just SJHGSDLJGSLG delicious!!! also romantic. optimistic. he has it all. 💛 i literally can't find a single red flag on this man. the very first 10/10 tonight! 😍

ÉOWYN: badass with Feelings! can fight, looks beautiful, very brave and responsible, and the perfect amount of rebellious!! also éomer as brother in law would be so cool!!! 😎 sadly her cooking is BAD so i must deduct some points there, and she is (understandably) a bit too much on the sad side for my liking (im so sorry girlie) 😭 6.5/10

ARWEN: beautiful magical princess, romantic soul, also brave and stubborn as much as necessary, i get cool father in law and brothers-in-law as well! and can we live in rivendell? 🥺 very very good. i'm just deducting some points cause she seems a tiny bit boring. tiny bit. 😔 8.7/10

TAURIEL: archer!!!! i love archers and i love redheads, she is feisty and stubborn but she is also soft and she's a little confused, bless her heart. adventurous and cool, she's also protective and we love that 🥰 fsr i just don't see her as so wife-able?? 7/10

[chirpingraven]

I finally finished a sky beyond the storm and my heart is broken 💔 anw I need to rant ‼️ BEWARE SPOILERS‼️

I love Laia and her character development. I think it's realistic to see how she grows from the scared and anxious girl in the first book to a strong, brave, dependable woman that she is in the last. I actually can't see why anyone would hate on her character. Realistically speaking, who wouldn't be scared if they were in Laia's shoes? And despite her fear and anxiety in earlier books, I think she handled herself pretty well. A strong female character doesn't always have to be a badass, sarcastic, bitchy girlboss. Laia shows that she can be as much of a girlboss with her patience, grace, understanding, and softness.

Elias, I don't know how to start with him. I FREAKING LOVE HIM. I think in my list of best male characters, he's pretty much up there. He's a strong and reliable leader, a trusting and lovable friend, and a very, very, VERY selfless human being. Reading his POVs as the Soul Catcher just breaks my heart. It hurts to see how a vibrant and passionate life like Elias reduced to an unfeeling creature of death. He used to have so many interactions with everyone around him, and as the Soul Catcher he can't do that. And Mauth just pisses me off the whole time. HOW COULD U DO THIS TO MY POOR BOY? 😭 Anw I'm glad he got the happy ending he deserves. I personally hoped for a much grander ending for him and a much grander and tear-jerking "welcome back to life" from his family and friends (as if I haven't cried enough 🥲), but well at least he's happy. Also his interaction with Mirra and the others in the Waiting Place before his time as the Soul Catcher was up is just *chef's kiss*.

Helene, Helene, my poor baby. You've suffered enough and lost probably more than anyone. This woman watched her whole family, her friends, the love of her life murdered in front of her eyes. The odds are stacking against her, and yet she survives. After so many losses and defeats, she finally wins. Loyal to the end indeed (that motto is going to haunt me for the rest of my life 🥲💔). She grows from someone who is ignorant of the Empire's sins, serving it blindly, to someone who accepts the Empire for its good and bad, accepts her own sins, and does her best to fix everything. I love how she finally accepts her feelings, her anger and grief and her love for Avitas. I think I should learn a thing or two from her.

I love all the characters, not just the main three, but the others as well. I love Avitas, ever so patient and loyal to Helene. I love Livia, what a gentle and determined soul. I love Musa with his teasings and jokes and loyal, tragic love. I love Darin with his brotherly love and boyish interaction with Elias. Afya, Gibran, Aubarit, Tas, Mamie, Shan, Quin, Faris, Dex. I even love Keris and the Nightbringer as villains. They make me furious but I also sympathize with them. I understand where their actions are coming from.

I love the relationships. Laia and Elias. Helene and Avitas. Helene and Faris last scene was heartbreaking, as did Helene and Livia. Helene and Musa's friendship is a breath of fresh air--and is that a possible romance between them I'm sensing? Though I see them more as siblings who bond with each other for their shared loss of loved ones. Elias and Helene duo is back at it again and I couldn't stop punching the air when it happened. Elias and Darin interactions always make me smile. Elias and Avitas's brotherhood, too beautiful and too short lasting. Elias and Mirra's "pass the baton" moment, as well as Mirra acknowledging him as her son-in-law 🥹 Also the relationship I didn't expect to make me cry so hard: Keris and Karinna. Keris finally accepting her fate and Karinna finally crossing to the other side. Do you think Karinna knows that Elias is her grandson?

I love the fights. I love the battle strategies. I love how everyone plays their respective parts in the battle against the Nightbringer. I absolutely love how Elias and Helene command and unite their respective armies.

I was hoping for more Elias and Keris interaction, honestly. I got the feeling that even after all she's done, deep down Keris still loves Elias and is afraid of that feeling. I think she's much like Helene in that matter. I also think that Elias doesn't really get the appreciation he deserves, but maybe I'm just biased lol.

That being said, I think this book is a very satisfying ending to close the main characters' journey, except for Helene's love life lmao help 🥲 but I think it's realistic enough. After all it'd be too convenient if all the main characters and their loved ones survive, and Sabaa Tahir has made brave choices in killing some of the major characters. In conclusion, I'm pretty satisfied with the ending and I love this series and its characters so much. Goodbye, embers in the ashes. Thank you for bringing me along in your journey ✨