#MY BIGGEST DREAM IS BEING ABLE TO CONTACT HIS WIFE

[bigjaws]

so my bf’s mom is like romantically/emotionally stunted and she’s “engaged” to a married man with three kids whose wife doesn’t know.

he was deported to his country and doesn’t have permission to come to the usa which is actually good because he’s a literal evil person, a liar, cheater and scammer schemer extraordinaire. he is also an abuser and has evil beliefs and the power to commit violence upon others in his country (he’s a policeman and has told us horrible things with glee) even tho he obviously doesn’t have any interest in her and only wants her to open up credit cards and suck money and gifts out of her she swallows his obvious lies.

she is in love because in her own words, she hasn’t had sex in many years and has natural needs. she is also has fantastical and unrealistic ideas about love, relationships and marriage that led her to accept a proposal and plastic ring three days after meeting him.

literally everyone in her life has told her this is a bad idea and not even the actual factual truth of him literally being legally married and living and fucking his poor wife won’t stop her from meeting him in other countries, decorating her home according to his style, and paying for his expenses or even marrying him which is crazy because bigamy is illegal but i guess all common sense gets thrown out the window.

the fact that she is still in this “relationship” is damaging my own relationship with her and literally makes me angry to the point of wanting to throw myself in a river.

i cannot handle the fact this woman who i have to share an important person with, who i have to make plans with and have conversations and welcome into my home is knowingly planning a life together with a married man who, by her own admission, is still romantically and sexually involved with his wife who knows no better in an extremely patriarchal society where she has all to lose, and i still have to respect her!

her own son, my boyfriend of six years, is suffering this to the point where after their names are mentioned he checks out of conversations. its very hard for me to act respectful and manage myself nicely around her nasty plans with him, and to keep quiet or act like nothing is wrong when i truly feel nauseous!

at the beginning of this i tried to see her as a victim of this man, but then i realized that she has all the information and conscience to make the correct decision, including the advice of friends and family who have pleaded with her to leave him, but doesn’t based on putting her own “happiness” (if happiness is having a long distance boyfriend who only calls you when his wife is not around to ask for money) over everyone else’s!

and then i am slapped in the face with comments about the fact she is a christian and morally correct person and i am not because i don’t attend church or that i don’t have as much value based on the money i make or how much i help compared to her! but no, i have to be greatly grateful to her because she helps my household with some grocery items (in which her son lives and does not pay rent) or random knickknacks she brings unannounced and it makes me so angry all over again to the point i want to tell her:

lady (if you can even be called that) you are breaking up a marriage and a family knowingly in exchange of pleasure, you have no heart nor brains and you have no space to judge my morality or weight my importance in any context in this universe, i hope you feel as ostracized by your family and society as you will be in the hell your holy book says you will for your nauseating actions!

[lushlovers]

sad beautiful tragic, J Burrow

summary; a sad beautiful tragic love affair.

warnings; angsty oh yes, swearing in the dialogue, arguments, cheating (not on the reader), obviously tears

word count; 1.02k

note; im writing angst because twd still wrips my heart out after all these years, obviously inspired by the taylor swift song of the same title.

long handwritten notes deep in your pocket words, how little they mean when you're a little too late.

He wants to reverse time. Just an extra two minutes would make a huge difference in this moment. Everything he could've said, but now they're worth little to nothing. You, you, you, was all he could bring himself to let cross his mind. All the memories, now shadowed by you standing on his front steps begging him to say something, anything, but he wouldn't.

I stood right by the tracks, your face in a locket. Good girls, hopeful they'll be and long they will wait.

The silver chain around your neck felt like it was on fire, leaving scars in it's wake. The photo inside that locket was one that was taken on a beautiful New York night. You'd never been and Joe swore up and down he would take you there for a game, unlucky for you, you weren't able to sit with his friends, but in the stands with the screaming fans. Treated like you were nothing, while unknowingly his wife sat next to his mother.

We had a beautiful magic love affair What a sad beautiful tragic love affair.

Joe couldn't shake you from his mind. You'd blocked him from your instagram and deleted his contact as soon as you left his house that evening, cursing his name and saying things you never knew you could. It was amazing while it lasted, but God did it crash and burn.

In dreams, i meet you in warm conversation we both wake, in lonely beds in different cities

It's hard not to think what it would've been like if it hadn't ended the way he did. What if he left Gabrielle and went public with you? What if she finally chose to leave him and you could have him as all yours? However none of those what if's became a reality

After he'd showed you around the metropolis that was New York City, you chose on moving there. You had managed enough money for an extremely overpriced apartment, but it was far enough from your biggest mistake. Whenever you heard about his team possibly having a game, you'd refuse offers, because your friends knew how much you used to love that team, not anymore. Not ever.

And time Is taking its sweet time erasing you

Time went along slow as you settled in, when you originally made the purchase of you tiny apartment, you almost called him out of instinct. Almost. He kept up with you using his friends phones or even Robin's, she was suspicious. His wife was distant after you showed up on their step telling Joe you needed him and you loved him. She knew he was seeing someone else long before then, but kept quiet, using his credit cards more than usual to drown her sorrows in shopping.

And you've got your demons and darlin' they all look like me.

Your smell had somehow managed to linger on his clothes, in his car, everywhere you touched. He could sometimes still feel the ghost of your finger tips massaging the hair at the nape of his neck in only the way you knew how to. The way you'd run your nails along his back, sometimes in the most sinful situations.

'Cause we had a beautiful magic love affair what a sad beautiful tragic love affair

There was really no point in continuing what you had going with Joe, you knew that. But letting him go off to live life without you was the last thing you ever wanted to let happen. he made his choice and got his point across in the form of absolutely shattering your heart and soul, leaving you to pick the pieces up and try your best to glue it all back in place.

Distance, timing, breakdown, fighting silence, the train runs off it's tracks

As the time you shared drew to an end, nothing was enjoyable. Being in each other presence for even five minutes led to you being at each other's throats. Everyone around Joe could tell, even his wife, she noticed how when he'd go shower, the door would be locked and through the thick wood she could hear how hard he cried for you.

Kiss me try to fix it, could you just try to listen?

His lips press to your own, tears coated each other's cheeks. Not allowing yourself to indulge in him for even mere seconds, you shove him back with the littlest bit of strength you posses, "No, Joe, you're not fucking listening to me," your shouting, chest heaving.

He's never seen you this angry and never have you gone as far as to yell at him as loud as you are, "Don't push me." He mumbled wiping his eyes harshly, now his teeth are clenched, his jaw set tight. That's what did it, everything you've tried to get into hi head. How you want nothing to do with being his side piece, none of it managed to get into his thick skull.

Hang up give up and for the life of us we can't get back.

"Whatever, fuck you, Joe." You sob, desperately trying your best to catch your breath, quickly hanging up before he could even process your words. His head rolled back on his shoulders as he listened to his phone beep, glancing down at you contact name, your name followed by every kissy or heart filled emoji you could find on his phone. He never tried to change or hide it.

A beautiful magic love there what a sad beautiful tragic beautiful tragic, beautiful.

Your laughs echoed through the lit up hotel room, he fingers dancing lightly over your sides, begging for him to let up on the tickling. Finally he stops, cupping your your face in his hands, letting his eyes take in every perfect feature. "God, you're gorgeous," He smiles, kissing you breathless. If only you could stay like this forever.

What we had, a beautiful magic love affair What a sad beautiful tragic love affair. We had a beautiful magic love affair what a sad beautiful tragic love affair

[macapacaalpaca]

About me

I’m so late to the party doing this but better late than never! Thanks for the tag @cariantha

Are you named after anyone?

No, my name was actually a very last minute decision. My parents planed on me being Emma all along but when I was born there were 5 other babies in the ward and 4 were called Emma so they changed their minds 😂 My dad went home from the hospital the night after I was born and picked Kayla out of a baby name book, and here we are

When was the last time you cried?

As far as I remember it was probably at my uncle’s funeral at the end of last year, or some of the days after that. I said the eulogy and kept it together the entire morning but as soon as I got outside the door of the chapel I was sobbing. That being said, I did cry tears of joy on Christmas Day when my cousin told me that he and his wife are expecting their rainbow baby this summer!

Do you have kids?

No, I’m definitely not at that stage in my life yet. My fertility problems have been the biggest heartbreak of my life but showed me that I definitely do want to be a mama one day. I pray that when the time’s right I’ll be able to have my own little miracle 🤍

Do you use sarcasm a lot?

Yes and I can’t help it lol. It’s usually only humorous sarcasm though, I know not to use it in serious situations 😅

What colour are your eyes?

Blue. Very blue - I’ve been told they look like a husky’s eyes 😂

Scary movies or happy endings?

I’m a sucker for a good happy ending

Any special talents?

Nothing drastic, but I’m very good at reading people. Whether that’s being able to tell if they’re lying or what kind of person they are - pick up on it from the very beginning. I’m also trilingual if that counts - I can speak English, Irish and French

Where were you born?

Ireland - dia duit!

What are your hobbies?

I’m easily pleased (and a basic bitch), I love reading, cooking, travel, nights in or out with my girls and have a minute obsession for everything makeup, skincare and hair

Do you have any pets?

No, but I wish I did! I’ve always wanted a dog for as long as I can remember and used to beg my parents for a Westie or a Golden. But I had to give up on that because as it turns out I’m allergic to cats and dogs 😶 The joys of being asthmatic!

What sports do you / have you played?

I’m not really into playing sports much, but I was a Gaelic footballer back in my day!

How tall are you?

I’m quite small - 5’4 or 163cm to be exact 😌

Favourite subject in school?

Home ec or English. I loved cooking classes (some were chaotic) and getting to learn a bit about legal systems too. I only started to enjoy english more in my last year of school but I did really well in it, my teacher was like a second mother to me and we still keep in contact today. I was also one of the only people in my year who actually enjoyed doing Shakespeare

Dream job?

For almost all of my childhood right up to my late teens I wanted to be a teacher and it was very suddenly I changed my mind to law. Everyone was so shocked because they’re polar opposite careers but I took the gamble and went with law. I sat in on court cases during the summer and absolutely loved it and I’m back in next week. I’m not there yet, but in the future I’ll be a solicitor, fingers crossed!

My tagging nominees are: anyone who wants to take part!

[jeo9n]

Majesty || JJK

Pairing : Jeon Jungkook x Reader

Genre : Angst,fluff,smut,King Jungkook

Warnings : angst, future smut, reader is like rlly shy:/, mean jungkook, virgin reader.

this is my first fanfic pls be nice to me🥺 also let me know if i made any mistakes.

next

Growing up poor was never easy. ever since my siblings and I were younger our mom tried everything to provide a good life for us. Her being a single mom of 3 children and having to work all the time was rough. Nonetheless our mom made sure we had a good childhood. As i grew older i started noticing how hard our mom worked for us. I wanted to start working too so our mom could get a little rest. So I started working at small bakery in our small village even tho I didn’t really liked it there.   

My two older brother’s were already married and had a family of their own and had long since moved out. My mom wanted me to get married really bad. She kept on looking for a potential husband for me, but none of them would ever chose me to as their wife. And i was honestly happy about that. The idea of marrying some stranger and leaving my mom behind wasn’t something that I wanted to do. But I knew I had to get married eventually.

There were some news going around that a new mysterious King was looking for a wife. flyers have been passed around for a "potential wife competition“ here and there, who would even attend such a thing? anyway, that’s all that was being talked about in the village young girls being excited for potentially marrying a King and becoming his wife. I honestly felt bad for them. Why would a King even marry a poor girl when he could marry a girl that came from a more wealthier family?

A few days have passed and the day for the competition was becoming nearer and nearer. As i was walking home from the small Bakery that I work at with some baked goods for my mom and I, I could see every mom going crazy for the upcoming day, every mom made sure that their daughter looked the absolute best. In hopes that the King takes interest in one of these girls. As i reached home my mom greeted me with a hug. „how was work?“ she asked „good i brought something to eat“ i said as i handed her the basket i was holding with a smile on my face. She took them and put them on a plate for us to eat. „so have you heard the news?“ she asked „what do you mean? What news?“ I asked her with a confused look on my face „you know what news“ she said while sipping on her tea. „The King is looking for a wife.... and I was wondering since you’re still not married and probably won’t be for a while why don’t you.... participate in the competition?“ she looked at me with a hopeful look on her face „Mom no. I don’t want to participate in such a thing.“ i said while munching on my croissant. „You know Y/n I don’t think it would be a such bad thing, both of your brothers are already married and have a family of their own, don’t you want the same thing?“ she asked. Well, i do want a family... but i want to find my Partner naturally not at a competition with thousands of other girls.

„I don’t even know what he looks like mom for all we know, he could be some old disgusting looking guy that has a fetish for younger girls“ I said with a look of disgust on my face. „Well, yeah, your right“ she said. „But he could also be some good looking guy but if you don’t participate, we’ll never know...“ she said while finishing her cup of tea. Okay maybe she’s right and it won’t be such a bad thing... participating won’t hurt right? Because my mom was right it’s time for me to get married. „ I‘ll think about it okay? Im gonna go head to bed now tho i’m really tired. goodnight mom.“ I said while giving her a kiss on her cheek. „thank you sweetheart.“ I heard her saying as i was walking to my room.

The day of the competition came sooner than i thought it would. My mom kept on bugging me to say yes so I eventually agreed to attending the competition. Ever since then my mom made sure i looked my absolute best. She bought me a long white nice looking dress, made sure that my hair always looked shiny and healthy. And i honestly felt so pretty my dress hugged my figure so nicely and my hair looked so beautiful all thanks to my mom. „You look so beautiful y/n i’ll miss you so much“ she said with tears in her eyes, as if i won’t come back home with her later tonight. „Relax mom it’s not like i’m getting married or something.“ I said while giggling. „Well you might“ she said with a big smile on her face. „I won’t.“ I said while rolling my eyes but she just looked at me with that smile still on her face. „Come on we don’t wanna be late“ she said while grabbing my hand, and leading me to where the competition was gonna be held.

Almost an hour later my mom and I arrived at this huge building. It was one of the biggest building i have ever seen. There were so many pretty flowers surrounding it, I was in awe at the sight that was in front of me. As i was looking around i noticed all the other girls and started feeling a little self conscious... they all looked so pretty with their colorful dresses while I was here wearing a boring white dress. How would I even stand out among all these girls? I doubt the King would even look at me.

An old Man with a smile on his face started approaching us „good evening ladies you all look beautiful i must say.“ He said with a big smile on his face. „ I know the weather is beautiful today but the King would rather have all you girls inside“ he said, while stretching his arm out pointing to the building. „let’s go ladies“ he started walking towards the entrance and we all followed him.

The room itself where the competition was being held wasn’t that big as I thought. But the old man told us it’s because, the King wanted to get a close look at us. So, he chose a smaller room so he could look at all of us more closely. ...I was so nervous my hands were trembling and i kept picking at my nails a habit of mine that i never got rid of. Even tho my mom told me stop many times. All the other girls seemed to be not as nervous as I was. They were all taking to each other, except for me I stayed by myself sat at a table. I didn’t feel like talking, I was way too shy to approach any of them anyway.

30 minutes later the King arrived. The doors to the room have opened, and the King and the older man from earlier started walking inside. There were gasps coming from all the girls, as soon as they saw his face. I was at the back so I wasnt able to see his face yet, but I once I did My eyes widened and my heart started beating faster. He was probably one of the prettiest man I have ever seen. He had a such flawless good looking face. Everything about him was perfect, he was tall, his eyes were pretty, his nose looked pretty, even his dark hair was pretty. It was slicked back with only on strand hanging in his face. Truly flawless. He was stood at the center of the room wearing a white suit with gold details on it. He looked around the room looking at every girl carefully. With the older man right beside him, his eyes wandered around the room and they found mine. I immediately looked away once we made eye contact, I couldn’t bear to look into his eyes. I felt myself blushing. Once I thought he looked away, I looked at him again but he was still looking at me. And I wondered why? Am I not pretty enough? Does he think I don’t belong in a place like this? The older man beside him started coughed and he eventually looked away.

The older man started introducing the King to us. „Ladies this is Jeon Jungkook King of Aramella“ he said. And we all bowed to greet him. „As u all know the King is here today, to find a Wife, that can fulfill his wishes and dreams and stay by his side till the rest of your lives. So, if u think you would be his perfect wife, than please step forward.“ the older man said.

And all the girls immediately stepped forward. Well, except for me. I didn’t have enough confidence in me to step forward.

The Kings eyes wandered around once again. He looked at every girl in front of him that stepped forward. But soon his eyes found mine again and he looked at me with furrowed brows.

„Why aren’t you stepping forward?“ he asked me with a cold tone to his voice. And suddenly everyone turned around to look at me.

stay tuned for part two. ☺️

[altshemist]

RE: ROY’S UPBRINGING, CHRIS MUSTANG AND HOW HE CAME TO BE BERTHOLD’S STUDENT     TRIGGER WARNINGS: childhood sexual assault/abuse ( not graphic & under the cut )

   roy's relationship with chris is complicated by a number of factors. she never wanted to have children but did not trust the foster care or adoption systems with her nephew on top of the guilt she would feel having little or no contact with her only living relative. she is poorly equipped to raise a child, especially one as young as roy was when he came into her custody, and unwilling to sacrifice her position as madam and ownership of the brothel. there is the question of whether a young boy should be raised in such an environment but she chooses not to worry about that and focus on raising him.

    i do not know how much i will address this in my writing as i am Very Cautious about doing so, but there is also the fact she simply did not know what to do with a first gen kid. she knew nothing of xingese culture, barely knew his mother, and did not want him to stand out more than he already did from his appearance alone. he is taught not to speak the little xingese he knows and to stand up for himself as amestrian and wholly amestrian. she did her best in the situation but is primarily responsible for roy’s estrangement from his own culture ( until post canon when he makes the choice to reconnect with it ).

    most of roy’s playmates were the women employed at the brothel, hanging out with them when they weren’t with clients and helping them get ready or work on various projects. this is where he learns to sew and cook. it is also where he gets his first taste of femininity, letting the girls dress him up or do his makeup as well as helping them with their own. he’s just playing and having fun and he enjoys it, it isn’t something he will examine his feelings on until much later when he is beginning to construct the most rigid parts of his public persona.

    the problem with being raised in a brothel with a caretaker who cannot keep a close eye on you is that bad things are going to happen. at the very least roy was going to see some things that he shouldn’t have. chris protected her girls but sex work can be dangerous and people can be bad. a young boy was something that could be desirable and to a handful of clients it was. ultimately the girls couldn’t protect him and there were a few who didn’t care to. although the memories were mostly obfuscated and blacked out, the change in his behavior around the brothel when these events began to occur was distinct.

    although roy would never tell her what happened in her establishment, chris would eventually find out and though she would take actions to protect him, it became clear this was not a safe environment. by this point roy has started practicing alchemy and is excelling both in its practice and his school work. he is a very smart boy and chris is not equipped to nurture that to its fullest.

    it is in a meeting with general grumman that she mentions the boy’s talent and alludes to something darker, to her wish to send him elsewhere and he offers a solution: his son in law. though he is not berthold’s biggest fan, he knows he is a talented alchemist working on his own theories and, he reckons, some time in the country would be good for the boy ! chris reaches out and with some convincing berthold agrees to accept roy as his apprentice.

    roy was more than happy to get as far away from central and the brothel as he could and had already been working on alchemy as a means of protecting himself and others, dreaming of becoming state certified and being able to do so on a much larger scale. berthold is his own set of challenges but he does not pose a physical threat and he is still an intelligent teacher and allows him to meet the girl who will be his best friend and later his wife.

    though roy does care for chris deeply, this all leads to their complicated relationship. he does not consider her his mother and after so long he does not resent her for failing to keep him safe, but it is still another barrier between them. she was formative in the persona he carries to this day and that is both a blessing and a curse. they both struggle, to some degree, with connecting with people in an honest way and it works out, ultimately in maintaining their relationship without needing to bring up every complicating factor in roy’s upbringing.

[sweetlycreations]

perfect place - n.jaemin

Pairing: na jaemin x female!reader

wc: 1.1k

:jaemin didn’t really have that much faith in fate, but how else was he at the perfect place at the perfect time

piano serenaded him through your home, fainted candles burning followed by the smell of spices wafting through the air. he didn’t know how or when he became so lucky, he always thought that fate wouldn’t come to him despite how hard he wanted it to. 

but then he saw you, his future, his best friend. his wife. 

you seemed to make every day that little warmer, the way you smiled brought him to his knees at any given point. you seemed to know exactly what to say and when to say it.

he was always so curious how he was able to fall in love with you, how he was able to be guided to the exact place where you were sitting that day

as he walked through the path of the gardens, jaemin couldn’t help but feel envious of the hidden love stories that he knew surrounded him. he always joked that he didn’t need to fall in love, that he was happy to wait for fate.

as he walked down the footpath a rumble of thunder loomed in the distance, closing his eyes in frustration he hurried further down, he knew there was a small gazebo further down the track, his cousin had gotten married there merely weeks prior. 

the one day jaemin wanted to take out his new camera to get some shots, it had to rain, just his luck.

arriving as the rain began to fall he hid the camera and lenses under his shirt, praying that he would reach the gazebo in enough speed. but upon his arrival he halted, seeming as he wasn’t the only person to get caught in the rain.

on a little mat, surrounded by pencils and some pictures taped to the ground, sat a girl that took his breath away. her hair fell neatly down her back, her fingers lightly danced across the page, by the looks of it she hadn’t noticed his arrival.

upon closer inspection he saw the white in her ears, letting out a small breath he realised she had music playing. she probably hadn’t even noticed that the rain had started.

sitting in the opposite end of the rounded gazebo, he watched the rain fall, it wasn’t heavy but soft, falling like waited tears. it was constant but there wasn’t a harsh feeling, it was oddly comforting. 

he sat going through the pictures he had taken from when the sun was shining, admiring how the colours seemed so real even in the stills.

“oh, hello” a voice broke through the calm of the rain, looking up he made eye contact with a girl that he swore made his heart stop. 

“..hi, sorry i didn’t mean to crash your creative time, the rain just started and I didn’t want to get caught out in it is all” he felt the need to explain that he didn’t mean to disturb you.

he probably sounded like the biggest creep just mumbling on and on about the rain, the rain he was sure that you were now aware of.

“really it’s fine, you can move closer if you like, less risk of getting hit by any,” my god jaemin had never heard a voice as beautiful as yours. it was soft yet melodic, calming but carried strength. 

he had barely spoken to you and he was falling harder than he knew was possible, it was like every dream he had ever had about love at first sight came true in every possibility and boy he was hoping that he never had to see the sun again if it meant being with you.

“you seem lost in your thoughts” you looked at him with the kindest eyes, he felt his lips lift with every passing syllable, 

“slightly, is this your work? the pictures taped to the ground” shifting the focus from him to your art seemed to work wonders, you smile began to grow

“mmmhmm, I was just passing sometime, practicing shadings and such, although I wasn’t able to find a reference photo I really wanted” the pout growing made jaemin furrow his brows, looking troubled even in the slightest way wasn’t something he was fond of seeing on your face

“it looks beautiful regardless, if you don’t mind me asking what kind of photo did you want?”

he watched as you looked out into the rain, “there’s a flower bed, next to a statue at the end of the path, it’s got the most beautiful colours and I’ve never been able to get a picture that does it justice”

smiling to himself, he looked down at the current photo he had showing on preview screen, “do you mean like this?”

as he handed you his camera he let out a breathy laugh as your face lit up, “that’s exactly what I meant... do you mind if I take a quick photo on my phone, so I can reference it?”

jaemin looked out to the sky, the rain certainly wasn’t easing anytime soon, if anything the clouds grew darker, looking at you and then laying on the ground with an arm behind his head 

“how about this, you can just use my camera so you can see the image clearly - it doesn’t look like we’re going anywhere soon. but, you owe me” as he opened one eye he could see the way you looked down at him, god he could look into your eyes for eternity. 

“deal”

as an hour turned into two jaemin laid on the ground, listening to the rain fall onto the roof and your pencils scratching the paper in front of you, he didn’t know when he fell asleep but he felt your hand lightly shaking him back to reality.

“here, thankyou for that. you know I never got your name, I’m [name]”

taking his camera back he turned it off, noticing the low battery, “jaemin, it’s a pleasure”

as he sat up, subconsciously moving closer to your side, you both welcomed the new silence between you, you broke the silence as you turned to face him

“what is your part of the deal?” turning his head he smiled again, he felt like he was constantly smiling at you

“don’t worry about it” you huffed and completely turned your body towards him, “come on jaemin... you let me use your photo, trusted me with your camera”

he let out a laugh, “how do you know it won’t be a weird request then? you’re willing to trust me?”

“..I am” 

closing his eyes he thought of the perfect thing, “dance with me”

letting out your own laugh you gave him a look of doubt, “a dance? really?”

nodding his head, he pulled you to stand with him, “I would like to have a dance with the pretty artist, here in the rain. do you still trust me?”

walking further from the mat that the two of you had migrated on, you held out your hand, “play a song then”

he came out of his daydream as he heard the familiar melody flow through the home, quietly he made his way to your side,

“dance with me?”

[bokutosworld]

then and now | kuroo t.

pairing: kuroo tetsurō x f!reader word count: 1863 words, fluff! mutual pining!  warning: manga spoilers, with mention of kuroo’s timeskip occupation summary: always the bridesmaid, never the bride. you thought your time would never come until someone from your past comes along and brings up something you’ve long forgotten. OR where you and kuroo make a silly marriage pact and he shows up after years apart to make it come true.  

He chuckled, now comfortably holding your one hand and hiding it in his pocket to keep it warm. “Here I was wondering if you were waiting for me.

Because I was.” 

The church bell tolls, white doves are released, and joyful cheer and applause erupts from the crowd as the newlywed couple steps out from the cathedral. The now husband-and-wife gaze at each other full of love, and it is a sight guaranteed to make one envious and long for that same kind of affection. 

But to you, it’s a scene that you’ve seen so many times that it already feels like a short film played on repeat. For the past year, you’ve lost count of how many weddings you’ve attended – whether as a guest or part of the bride’s entourage – that you’ve acquainted yourself with the workings of the event. 

Heck, you’ve even memorized the readings of the priest that if they ever need a replacement, you can be the stand-in and officiate the program. 

However, this wedding was different. Your best friend of more than fifteen years is the one who walked down the aisle, and you’re more emotional than you expected you’d be. Earlier in the morning, she woke you up, feeling sentimental, and demanded a pep talk. It was laughable because, more than her, you thought it was you who needed that assurance as you sent off your childhood friend to a new journey in her life. 

The whole ordeal felt surreal and somehow, a tad more personal, because it wasn’t just any bride – this was the same girl you grew up with, the one you’ve seen in diapers, the one who held your hand in the playground, the person who you always ran to for boy troubles. Watching her exchange vows and rings felt like a coming to life of a scrapbook page, a long-awaited dream that you’ve talked about together in sleepovers where none of you really slept. 

It made you wonder if you will ever march down the same aisle towards the waiting arms of your beloved.  

---

“What a wedding, huh?” 

The hotel reception was no different to the ceremony that took place prior. This time again, you wore the bride’s maid-in-honor hat and only after making sure that everything – that included the food, drinks, and entertainment – were in place did you take your place on the table and chatted with your old friends from high school. 

The conversation started off with comments on how grand, intimate, and special the ceremony was. They talked about how it was wedding season, counting just how many of their schoolmates have already been wed. And before you knew it, eyes were on you and you had an inkling of what would follow. 

“So,” Yoshioka, your former student council president, turned towards you. “You’re the only bachelorette left in our batch. We’re just curious.”

You laughed awkwardly, “No, please don’t expect a wedding invitation from me anytime soon. I’m still happily single.” The smile you wore felt strained, but whether the other girls recognized it or not, they chose to not comment further. 

“Besides, it’s a great source of joy for me just being able to see you guys get married.” Noticing that the lights have begun to dim and focused on the spot on the stage, you clapped your hands, “Now, let’s just enjoy Yukie’s wedding, alright! Look, they’re coming out.” 

As soon as the couple walked to the floor for their first dance, you heaved a sigh of relief and slumped in your cushioned chair. They moved gracefully as one across the dance floor, seemingly lost in their own world as they gazed deeply in each other’s eyes and swayed to the tune of the love song. 

You thought back to the conversation earlier and weirdly, you felt a pang inside. Truth is, in every wedding you’ve attended, you can’t help but feel wishful. You consider yourself successful in almost every aspect of your life but sometimes, it can feel dejecting when you return home to an empty apartment at the end of a tough workday. 

A part of you craved to make that little girl’s dream come true of wearing the wedding dress that you’ve designed, staying up all night for a bridal shower, and walking down the aisle to where your lover was waiting. 

When the couple’s first dance ended, the host entered the stage and the program officially began. You could only hope that hours would pass faster. 

---

Two hours into the reception and you can already feel the shots kicking in your system. 

It wasn’t a really good idea downing five straight shots of tequila. At first, you thought it would quell your nerves, make you let loose and be the funnier version of yourself as you stepped to the podium to deliver your congratulatory speech to the couple. 

In retrospect, it looks like the drink did its job as you managed to emit laughter and emotional tears from the crowd as you reminisced on your relationship with the bride, recounting the story of how she fell deeply in love and decided that he was the one. 

But now, hunched in your seat with head on your hands, you were seemingly tipsy and all you could think about was escaping outside for some fresh air. 

So, you did. When the groom’s best man took the stage, you saw this as an opportunity to quietly slip to the balcony. 

Shutting the door behind you with a quiet thud, you eyed the empty balcony and sat towards the nearest bench. The surface was a bit cold as the city was now ushering the season of fall, signaling the arrival of long nights and chilly evenings. You shivered slightly and tucked your coat closer to your body as you stare at the darkness. 

You don’t know how long you’ve been outside until you heard the door open and in came a tall, attractive, and oddly familiar man. His face held a warm smile as you noticed that his gaze was directed towards you. 

“Long day?”   

And it was only until he stepped closer and stood in front of you, the moonlight illuminating his face and accentuating his features, that you realized who he was. 

“Tetsurō?!”   

When was the last time you saw the Kuroo Tetsurō? You racked your brain for your last encounter with him and your memories point to your high school graduation. All of a sudden, you felt small and your surroundings became hot as you stood in front of him. Your former childhood neighbor. Former best friend. Former crush. 

Not that he had any idea about that last item. 

“I thought I saw you earlier before the reception started,” he made himself comfortable on the bench, patting the space beside him to urge you to sit as well. “But it’s been so long since I last saw you so of course I thought I was hallucinating. Then you gave a speech on stage – which by the way, I thought was awesome, you’re still as witty as you were before – and my suspicions were confirmed.” 

You were breathless. Speechless. What were the odds that your reunion with him would be at a wedding? 

“Did Yukie send you the wedding invitation?”  

His laugh echoed in the darkness of the night, “Yeah, she did. It was nice to see familiar faces again.” He stared back at you, “I missed everyone.” I missed you, he wanted to say. 

You hummed in agreement and without realizing, the two of you engaged in a comfortable conversation with Kuroo leading just as he always did. Being charming just as he always was. Telling you stories from the part of the past that you didn’t know. Catching you up with his present where he now works in the sports promotion division of Japan Volleyball Association. 

A small part of you was relieved to know that Kuroo was doing well and successful just as you always hoped he would be. Years of no contact with the boy that stole your heart from day one certainly left you lonely. You wouldn’t say it out loud but he was part of the equation of why you still haven’t tied the knot. It was silly but you always thought that no one could measure up to him. 

Absentmindedly, you started fiddling with your fingers, a habit you’ve formed when you were feeling cold, and Kuroo noticed. And just as he always did back then, he enveloped your hands with his and brought them to his lips to blow warm air on them. 

“That better?” 

Your heart threatened to flutter, “Yeah, thanks.” 

After a long while of silence, Kuroo spoke. “I see there’s still no ring on your fourth finger.” He was now nonchalantly stroking your hands, letting his fingers slip in yours. 

You coughed nervously, averting your eyes from his deep ones. “Well, I haven’t really found anyone.” 

He chuckled, now comfortably holding your one hand and hiding it in his pocket to keep it warm. “Here I was wondering if you were waiting for me.

Because I was.” Oh no, be still my heart, you thought.

Kuroo went on, “Remember that silly pact we made on the night before graduation?” 

Your mind takes you back on that evening when you and Kuroo were sitting on the rooftop, away from the noisy crowds and drunk soon-to-be college students. This was your thing, enjoying the calmness and admiring the stars spread out in the night sky. 

That evening, you and Kuroo talked about the uncertain future that lied ahead. That evening, you bared your soul to him, letting him in on your worries and you fell apart in his comforting presence. He, as always, acted as your anchor, assuring you that he would always be your biggest supporter and that he’d always cheer on you even from afar. 

That evening, with the two of you drunk on the excitement and the many possibilities for the new chapter of life, he brought up a proposal.

“I have a crazy idea.” Kuroo linked his pinkie finger with yours. “If we’re still single and not yet married by the age of 35, I’ll find you and we’ll get married.”  

Swept away in the moment and the thrill of the idea, you agreed and sealed the proposal with a harmless kiss. 

“You still remember that?” You questioned, not expecting him to actually remember that silly pact. Not expecting him to be holding on to that agreement. 

“Sometimes, I wonder where we could be now if I just manned up and asked you out that night instead of pulling that act.” He holds your gaze, careful as he brings a hand to cup your cheek. “I’ve liked you for the longest time. And if you’re still available, if you’ll still have me, I am yours.” 

“But we’re not yet 35, Kuroo,” you teased. He chuckled and playfully shoved you before bringing you in an embrace. 

“I’ve decided years ago. You’re the only one for me,” he pulls away. “I’m sorry it took me a long time.” 

And that night, it wasn’t only your best friend that went home feeling the happiest girl in the world. 

Because there was Kuroo who was ready to make up for lost time and give you a reason to look forward to your trips back home.  

[deanwinchesterswitch]

Weekly Fic Recs ~ Part Two

Part Two of my very late, weekly fic rec post. The past couple of weeks have been very hectic, which put me behind on my posts. However, I have been trying to keep up on my reading.

Lots of fics to recommend from various fandoms, and pretty much everything from fluff to smut. There's bound to be something for you to enjoy and share.

Because of the new limits for posts, I had to make two.

Many of these blogs and fics are NSFW-18+. Please honor any requests from a blog regarding no minors and heed the warnings for each fic.

Part One

Bad Girls Underneath ~ @thoughtslikeaminefield. Author's Summary: “As convoluted as the spell is, the outcome is a thing of beauty.”

Dean Lives Forever ~ @idreamofplaid. Author's Summary: Jensen is having a hard time with Supernatural being over. The reader has an idea to help him deal with his feelings.

Such A Simple Thing ~ @impala-dreamer. Author's Summary: Y/N and Dean are just friends. No, really, just friends. But…then again, is anything really that simple?

Need Me ~ @princessmisery666. Author's Summary: Sam is gone. Dean isn’t coping well but Emily can’t leave him.

To Be Free-CH03 ~ @smol-and-grumpy. Author's Summary: Escaping and hiding away, that’s what she wants to do. Her parent’s remote cabin in the mountain sounds like the best place for it. There, she meets someone from her past — a green-eyed mountain man.

Home To You-Nine ~ @smol-and-grumpy. Author's Summary: Dean enlisted in the hopes to help secure enough money for Sam to be able to go to college. Of course he didn’t tell Sam. Why would he? Sam would understand, right? Turns out, Sam didn’t get it, and is giving Dean the silent treatment for over a year. In Dean’s desperation to reconnect with Sam, Dean reaches out to his brother’s best friend. Little does he know that the hurricane named Y/N will turn out to be the reason he wants to stay alive and go back home for.

Breathe-Chapter Six ~ @themoonandotherslikeit. Author's Summary: After the biggest meeting of her career, Y/N went for a drink and met him. Dean Winchester, the handsome bartender at The Shop, who managed to say all of the right things to soften her hard shell. Was it possible that Y/N was wrong all of this time? Had she spent the better part of 2 decades focusing on her career when there was one man in a city of 18 million that could make her feel more alive than any job ever could? Will she be able to slow down long enough to let herself fall in love with a man that was never a part of the plan? After years of holding her breath, will she finally let herself breathe again?

Coffee and Snow Flavored Kisses ~ @themoonandotherslikeit. Author's Summary: On a cold winter day Dean Winchester walks into a quaint coffee shop where he met a woman like he's never met before.

A Strangers Love and Part 2 ~ @soaringeag1e. Author's Summary: None. SPN Dean x Reader

Caught Looking ~ @downanddirtydean. Author's Summary: Baseball is Y/N’s favorite sport of all time. It ends up meaning so much more to her than she could ever imagine after she meets Dean Winchester, her favorite player, at one of his games one night.

The Hunter's Wife ~ @stusbunker. Author's Summary: None. SPN Dean x Baby

Eyes on Me ~ @kickingitwithkirk. Author's Summary: Jensen returns to the past when his present implodes

Laughing and Knitting ~ @dreaming-about-fanfictions. Author's Summary: You have the biggest crush on Jim but he doesn’t seem to feel the same. After years of having no contact, you see him again.

Wouldn't Dream of Anything Else ~ @my-proof-is-you. Author's Summary: The reader is sore from a hunt but is trying to push through to get the chores done.

I Hate You, I Love You Masterlist ~ @my-proof-is-you. Author's Summary: It had been over a year since you had hunted with the Winchester brothers. You had felt you couldn’t hide your feelings anymore, so you left. While you were gone, life had been anything but good. When you meet up with the brothers again, you can’t resist staying with them. But your feelings for Dean are far from gone, and you’re afraid the pattern will remain the same. Can you hide what happened to you last year from the boys, or will the past come back to haunt you?

All This Time ~ @hoboal87. Author's Summary: After a hunt, Dean and the Reader confront their feelings.

Moonlight ~ @samwilsons-pillowpecs. Author's Summary: Your husband hasn’t fixed the dishwasher, so you’re stuck washing dishes by hand. Your husband more than makes it up to you, however…

Almost Love Scene ~ @jensengirl83. Author's Summary: Reader is an actress on Supernatural. She is friends with Jared and Jensen until one scene might change everything.

Do It For Me ~ @thoughtslikeaminefield. Author's Summary: One night, years ago, and neither of them have forgotten.

Band Practice ~ @just-a-touch-of-sass-and-fandoms. Author's Summary: None (Drabble)

Dan and Chloe are Sick of Your Crap ~ @carryonmywaywardbucky. Author's Summary: You were Dan’s protégée. He brought you up through the ranks and felt like a proud older brother when you made detective. When Chloe and Lucifer needed help on a case, Dan was quick to volunteer as backup. He knew you and Lucifer had a thing and, as much as he hated Lucifer, he saw how happy he made you.

She's Buying A Stairway To Heaven ~ @risingphoenix761. Author's Summary: None. SPN Dean x OFC

The Parting Glass ~ @risingphoenix761. Author's Summary: None. Negan

Haunted ~ @kickingitwithkirk. Author's Summary: None (Drabble)

Deuxième Omega and Part II ~ @kickingitwithkirk. Author's Summary: Jensen is not dealing well with his unexpected divorce and before the ink is even dry, he is pushed into another union with a complete stranger.

Elevate Thy Hate ~ @babyboibucky. Author's Summary: Not a day goes by that you and Bucky don’t argue.

We Need To Talk About Dean ~ @sams-sass. Author's Summary: Your investigating a witch and Dean gets a whole new look.

Dutiful ~ @stusbunker. Author's Summary: None

Things That Are Deadly ~ @stusbunker. Author's Summary: None

Silent Night ~ @peridottea91. Author's Summary: None

Love Myself ~ @peridottea91. Author's Summary: An argument with Dean leads to an interesting conversation

Trapped ~ @anotherspnfanfic. Author's Summary: None

Whiskey and a Cabin ~ @idreamofplaid. Author's Summary: The right mood, the right place, the right woman, and some whiskey help Dean realize the truth about what he wants.

Can We Keep Her?-The Accident ~ @avengerscompound. Author's Summary: After an accident outside the Avengers Tower Bucky and Steve take you in to patch you up. What follows is a life none of you expected.

[tomhollandstrash]

Chasing Stars part 2

This is a part two to Chasing Stars. You can find the first part here! 

--

You sighed as you sat on the couch in your apartment. Your fingers absentmindedly dancing along the rim of your mug, the tea inside of it having gone cold a while ago. You couldn’t believe that Tom was getting married to someone who wasn’t you. It broke your heart but there wasn’t anything either one of you could do about it. The fact that there was nothing that could be done to keep the two of you together almost hurt more than the fact that you likely wouldn’t see each other again. A life without Tom wasn’t one that you were particularly keen on. It’s not that you didn’t feel like you were dependent on him for your happiness, but he just added so much warmth and love to your life. Would you be able to find that with another person? That wasn’t even a thought you wanted to entertain at the moment. Tom was your person, he was without a doubt, the one. The one you wanted to marry, the one you wanted to start a family with, the one you wanted to declare your love for over and over again until the day you died.

You vowed not to turn on the TV or to go on social media today or for the next week. The whole country was celebrating today. Celebrating their precious prince’s wedding day, and the media would be covering the festivities on every channel. When you’d gone on Twitter earlier, you already saw people speculating about potential baby names. The thought of that made you absolutely sick. The universe really did have a way of playing cruel jokes on you. You couldn’t help but wonder how things could have been different if you were born into royalty, or if Tom were just a normal guy. Would there have been a happy ending for the two of you? What were the odds that the two of you were just destined to fail?

Placing your cold mug of tea on the table in front of you, you spread out on the couch and pulled a nearby blanket up to your chin. You grabbed the remote and turned on your favorite movie as though it could distract you from the deep aching of your heart. As you tried to watch the movie, you felt your eyelids growing heavier. Maybe you could use this time to catch up on sleep, after saying goodbye to Tom, sleep had been hard to come by. 

--

Tom looked at the clock on the wall and grimaced. 10:53am. In a little over an hour, Tom would be a married man. He hated the thought of getting married to someone he wasn’t in love with. Sure, she was a perfectly nice woman. Intelligent, compassionate, and beautiful. A perfect combination for a perfect prince. In theory, she was an ideal match for Tom. Try as he might to accept the fact that she was to become his wife, he couldn’t get his mind off of you. You were everything to him. When Tom thought of his wedding day, he never thought that instead of being excited he would be filled with dread. 

He couldn’t stop thinking about the way you looked at him when he left your apartment that morning. Your eyes were filled with love, disappointment, and tears. Tom could tell that your heart was breaking just as much as his was. 

“You okay, Tom?” Harrison nudged his friend gently. 

“Yeah,” Tom replied, running a hand through his hair. “Never better, everything is just fantastic,”

Harrison frowned at his friend’s response and sat on the couch, meeting Tom’s eyes in the mirror. 

“Mate, you don’t have to do this,” He said and leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees. 

Tom’s hands dropped from their place on his tie before he turned around to face Harrison. 

“But I do,” Tom and Harrison’s frowns grew deeper as a thick silence fell over the room. 

It was a hard truth for Tom to accept. What could he do? Sure, in a different world he might be able to run away with you and never look back. In this world, he had a duty to his country and his parents; and sadly, that duty included leaving you behind. The more Tom thought about spending the rest of his life without you, the more he could feel himself getting sick. You have always been there for him. All the late night and early morning meetings were something he would especially miss. Your gentle fingers carding through his soft curls, the sound of your heartbeat when the two of you fell asleep together, and the sweet declarations of love were things he would never experience again. Sure, he could try to fall in love with his wife to be, but he didn’t want to. Tom wanted you.

“Fuck,” Tom groaned, falling into a crouching position with his head in his hands. “I don’t know if I can do this. I know I have to, but I just... can’t,”

Harrison walked closer to his friend before leaning down and placing a comforting hand on his shoulder.

“I know you think you’re disappointing everyone if you don’t go through with it, but sometimes you need to do what’s best for Tom. You’ve spent your whole life trying to keep everyone happy, always doing what was expected of you, even when it was at the expense of your happiness. As your best friend, I don’t want to see you spend the rest of your life being miserable,”

“You always did have a speech at the ready whenever you needed one,” Tom looked up at Harrison and chuckled lightly.

“What are best friends for?”

--

The historic chapel was filled with guests milling about dressed in extravagant clothing. There was a buzz of excitement in the air as foreign dignitaries, local diplomats, family, friends, and the most loyal of subjects waited for the wedding to begin. No expense was spared for the wedding. The chapel was decorated with stunning floral arrangements, complete with

Meanwhile, Tom could feel his throat getting tighter as each moment passed. He convinced himself that the way he was feeling could be attributed to the fact that he was about to get married. Everyone gets cold feet when they get married, right? 

Tom couldn’t shake the feeling that he was possibly making the biggest mistake of his life. 

—

Three knocks on your door woke you up from your much needed rest. You rubbed your eyes and looked at the clock on the wall. It was 1pm, Tom was now a married man. You frowned before you sat up and glared at the door. Who could it be? And didn’t they know that you were planning on spending the foreseeable future on the couch moping? With a sigh, you pushed yourself off of the couch and wrapped your sweatshirt around yourself. You looked about as good as you felt.

“What do you want?” You asked, not even bothering to look at whoever dared disturb your nap.

When they didn’t respond, you finally looked up at them and almost fell over.

There Tom stood in the doorway of your small apartment still wearing his fancy suit. You rubbed your eyes and blinked a few times, worried that he would be gone when you opened them again. Why was he here? It wasn’t that you weren’t happy to see him, but you thought the two of you agreed to limit your contact after the wedding. The wedding was today, wasn’t it? Why wasn’t he with his family and his new wife?

“Tom?” You asked, somewhat cautiously.

“Hi, Y/N,” Tom looked at you with a soft smile, rubbing his hand on the back of his neck. “I’m sorry to just show up like this,”

“No worries, come in,” You said, still slightly dazed as you stepped aside to let him into your home. You silently cursed yourself for the pile of cookie and candy wrappers that littered the sofa.

Tom stepped inside your apartment and the two of you fell into a slightly awkward silence.

“So, not that I’m not happy to see you, but what are you doing here?” You rubbed your arm as you looked at him through your lashes.

“Well,” He said as he played with his fingers, something he always did when he was nervous. “I.. uh... I couldn’t do it,”

“...Couldn’t do what?” You asked, genuinely confused.

“Get married to someone who isn’t you,” Tom confessed. “I just, I thought I could go through with it, but I couldn’t. You’re everything to me, Y/N. If I’m going to get married to someone, I want that someone to be you,”

Tom’s confession didn’t necessarily surprise you, you always thought the two of you would get married too, but it did make you deeply emotional. You couldn’t help but let a couple of tears slip out of the corners of your eyes.

“But what about your family?” You asked, wiping the corners of your eyes.

“I honestly don’t know. I think they’ll understand,” Tom took a step closer to you and cupped your face in his warm hands. “Even if they don’t, getting to be with you would make everything worth it,”

You’d be lying if you said you didn’t think about this moment happening. There was a part of you that really thought Tom would come back for you, but now that it was happening, you were sure it was too good to be true. What if this was just a random impulse decision and he would just end up leaving you all over again? That was something you didn’t think your heart could take. Having to go through one breakup with him was more than enough heartbreak.

“Tom, please tell me that you’re being serious. I don’t think I can take it if you’re not,” You looked into his eyes and frowned slightly.

“I promise I’m serious. In fact, I’m so serious about you that I’m prepared to do this,” Tom stepped away from you before getting down on one knee.

Your breath caught in your throat. Was Tom really proposing to you? This was something you could only dream of. Ever since Tom told you he was betrothed to someone else, you’d buried your dreams of marrying him deep within yourself. You could burst from nerves. Seeing Tom get down on one knee was a sight you never thought you’d get to see in real life. It was all happening so fast. You loved this man with all of your heart and had no doubts that he felt the same way about you.

“Y/N Y/L/N, will you marry me?” Tom beamed at you, the love practically radiating off of his body. “I know it’s sudden but I love you more than I can express in words, and I know that I want to spend the rest of my life with you,”

“Of course I’ll marry you, you stupid prince,” You smiled as you wiped the happy tears from your face.

You wrapped your arms around Tom as tight as you possibly could, hoping it would keep you from losing him again. The two of you were grinning at one another so wide you were afraid your lips might split.

“I love you so much, darling. I’m never letting you go,” Tom kissed your forehead, your nose, and finally your lips.

Your relationship with Tom was far from perfect, but moments like this reminded you both of how much you really needed and loved each other. 

--

Okay, I think that’s it lmao. It’s taken me a long time to get this up, life just decided to get stupid busy. I finally bought a new desk top computer, so fingers crossed that I can find the motivation to do more writing. 

[apiratewhopines]

Because @jrob64 asked for another chapter and I can’t tell her no.

Midnight

Chapter 5 — The Pumpkin

Summary: In which our heroine really gets into it

Chapter 5 of 7 on AO3

“I had the craziest dream last night, yes I did.

I never dreamt it could be

Yet there you were, in love with me.”

-I Had the Craziest Dream, Harry James and His Orchestra and Helen Forrest

Emma may as well have been glued to his side. His hand was planted firmly on her hip, keeping her cradled next to him as he made the rounds like a seasoned politician. She should have been upset at his overbearing manner, forcing his way into her life and nearly ruining the biggest payday she was ever likely to see.

Instead, she curled into him and realized that instead of bacon, he carried the scent of cocoa with cinnamon. She wasn’t disappointed, though. Not even when he looked at her with a knowing glance after she took a long sniff at a particularly tempting patch of skin just above his collar.

She tried to tell herself it was simply because that was what a wife would do when reunited with her husband and she didn’t want to make a scene.

The party was winding down when the dreaded introduction to Lance happened. He stayed in the shadows, burning holes through her as she clung to the husband who was supposed to be on the other side of the Atlantic. Even from a distance, she could see the challenge in his stare. Instead of being discouraged, the other man was planning to fight his way into her affections.

She had hoped to bypass the whole thing, but Guinevere was determined since her other method of entertainment was spoiled, she was due a different kind. She stopped them with a bright smile and hard eyes as Killian was attempting to maneuver away from the breaking crowd. When Guin waved at someone behind them, Emma caught Arthur’s wandering gaze and silently summoned him to help. “Baron Jones, I’m so glad you’re able to join us for the weekend. Lancelot did his best to keep your wife company, but I’m sure he’s no replacement for you. Lance, do come over and meet the baron.”

With a rueful smile, Lance joined the group and nodded tightly at Killian. “Baron Jones, you’re the envy of every man here. You’re quite lucky in your choice of wife.”

“Oh, it wasn’t luck. Some said the Baroness would do anything for a piece of the pie, even take the name of a man she barely knows. But we both know the truth, don’t we, sweetheart? It was love at first sight.” His fingers moved further down her hip and she felt his body shake with contained laughter. He was enjoying her discomfort, growing bolder in his caresses with the knowledge they had an audience expecting her to be eager for his touch.

Arthur choked on the shrimp he had just eaten, breaking the tension and causing the posturing males to quit glaring at each other and Guin to abandon her machinations to thump her husband on the back. Arthur was too busy trying to breathe to notice his wayward wife had a look of true concern on her face as her pounding turned to a light caress while he regained his breath.

Calling a waiter over for a glass of water, Guin continued to rub Arthur’s back as she addressed Killian. “We’ll move you to a larger room where you will be more comfortable.”

“Oh, that’s not necessary. The Baron and I are used to sleeping apart while one or the other of us are traveling and we don’t want to cause you any trouble. Tomorrow is soon enough,” Emma assured the woman even as Killian’s arm tightened around her. By then, she will have convinced him to leave quietly. She turned to him with adoring eyes and a smile that was all teeth. “Isn’t that right, Captain?”

“Nonsense, it’s no trouble. It’s why we have staff,” Guin said before Killian could answer, her tone distracted. For once, Emma thought she wasn’t causing trouble on purpose. The woman’s attention was still on Arthur, whose face had yet to return to its normal color.

“Did you hear that, love? No trouble at all,” Killian echoed, his touch flittering lightly along the exposed skin of her arm, leaving a trail of goosebumps in its wake.

He was wrong, of course. It was all kinds of trouble.

—

“What a wonderful room,” Killian observed, ushering her into the large group of rooms ahead of him. He hadn’t spoken two words to her since they entered the home with their hosts, focusing instead on debating the merits of Neoclassical versus Georgian architecture with Guin. The other woman was charmed, her expression warm and open as she hung on his every word, neither of them noticing their partners wore matching scowls.

“It’s the bridal suite. I’m so glad you approve, Baron Jones. It’s not often we get visitors of your stature in the Enchanted Forest.”

“Perfect. In many ways, this is like a honeymoon for us, isn’t it, darling?” She glared at him through narrowed eyes, wondering how much longer he planned to play the part of doting husband. He remained in constant contact with her, his fingers gripping her elbow, his hand brushing her cheek or lingering at her waist. It made it impossible to think. Now they were in a bedroom, staring down a long night of complete isolation once the Soberanos left them to their own devices.

“Ahem, yes, my dear Baroness, there is a panic button on the end table. One push and it will wake the entire household,” Arthur explained, addressing Emma but giving Killian a look that threatened retribution for any shenanigans. She could tell the man was uncomfortable leaving her with him. His gaze kept seeking hers as if to get some reassurance she would be okay.

Guin reached out and swatted his arm. “Arthur, don’t scare the poor girl. We’ve never had any trouble here. You will be perfectly safe and I look forward to getting to know you both better over breakfast.”

Killian smiled as they walked out, shutting the door behind them. Walking over to the minibar, he commented, “Lovely couple. So glad you ran into them.”

His calm attempt at normalcy made her want to scream. So she did. “That’s it? That’s all you have to say for yourself? How did you find me? Why did you find me? What do you want?”

“Which one of those would you like me to tackle first, Swan?” His back was to her as he poured a drink. “Although after all the sleepless nights you caused me with your little runaway stunt and whatever the hell this charade is supposed to be, perhaps I deserve to have my questions answered first.”

He downed the rum in one gulp and turned back to face her. He looked hollow, his gaze searching for something, his hand outstretched before he thought better of it and ran it through his already wild hair. “Why did you run, love? I wasn’t going to hurt you. And what are we doing here?”

“I did it for your own good,” she insisted, moving to the other side of the room because the temptation to touch him was so strong she could taste it, along with the lingering flavor of his kiss. “As for why we’re here, I’m trying to start a new life. I have no idea what brought you to this neck of the woods.”

“I’m trying to do the same thing. But my version doesn’t involve false titles and cozying up to obnoxious cads.” He crossed the room in four quick strides and pulled her into his arms. “Why did you do it, Emma?”

If he had tried to push for more, she would have been able to resist. Maybe he knew that, or maybe he just always knew what she needed, so he simply held her. She couldn’t help but relax into it. The weight and stress of the last few days melted away as she listened to his steady heartbeat drumming under her cheek. “It seemed like a good idea at the time.”

He chuckled, pressing a featherlight kiss on the top of her head. “Why did you pick my name when you don’t even seem happy to see me?”

“I am happy to see you, Captain. I…I regret the way I left. It wasn’t fair when you’d been nothing but decent to me. And I’d be lying if I said I haven’t thought about Door Number One once or twice since then.”

“You’re dodging the question, Swan. Or should I say Jones?”

“I know you want it to mean something, but it doesn’t. I needed a name and yours was the first that popped into my mind,” she mumbled into his chest.

“Why do you think mine was the one on the tip of your tongue, Swan?”

She was stubborn enough not to answer but not strong enough to pull away.

“Hmm, guess I’ll have to fill in the details myself then. Let’s see…you’re a twenty-something-year-old woman who has been alone for a long time, even when she’s not. You muscle your way through life on grit and nerve because it’s the only way you know how to survive, and you crumble at the first hint of softness, not because you don’t crave it with every fiber of your being, but because you don’t trust it to be real. The only part I can’t figure out is how long it will take to admit to yourself you took my name because I mean something to you.”

“Captain…you need to leave.”

“You can’t run away from what started between us. You’ve tried repeatedly, but it’s useless. We’re right for each other; I know it deep down in my bones. Don’t you?” The soft kisses he brushed against her forehead made her feel like she was on fire. Warmth flooded her skin and pooled in all the places she wanted to feel his touch. “Do you really think love is easier in a place like this? Don’t be a fool, Emma.”

Her name came out like a breathless prayer, and despite her best intentions to step away, to make him understand they were a mistake waiting to happen, she couldn’t resist cradling his jaw and bringing his lips to hers again.

It was all the encouragement he needed. The next thing Emma knew, her back was against the wall, his hands running the length of her form. His mouth soon followed, abandoning hers and trailing down her throat. She could feel the way his muscles tensed, his body hard and unyielding as she fought to get closer.

She would climb inside him if she could figure out how.

“The bed. Now.” His voice was a ragged command she wanted to obey but couldn’t quite manage as she felt his hands gliding beneath her dress and slowly tugging the silk up along her hypersensitive skin. He pulled back and gazed at her through hooded eyes, his mouth red from the heated combination of her passion and lipstick. “Or better yet, let’s go. Leave and never look back.”

It was like he doused her with cold water. What was it about this man that made her lose her mind? And her heart, for that matter. She gaped at him, disheveled from head to toe, and whispered, “No.”

“No? To the bed or to leaving?”

“Both. I’m sorry,” Emma said, pushing his chest gently to add distance between them.

He moved at the light pressure she used but captured her hands before she could lift them. Placing a reverent kiss on the inside of her wrist, he murmured, “Your kiss tells a different story, Swan.”

“I kiss everybody that way.” She was lying, and they both knew it, but she felt she needed to try to regain control of the situation.

With an exasperated expression at odds with his adorably wrecked appearance, he asked with a cocked eyebrow, “Does that include your new friend Lancelot du Lac?”

She didn’t need any more evidence that Killian Jones was not like Neal Cassidy, but if she did, his measured voice and probing question about Lance would do it. Neal was an incredibly jealous person, probably because he was cheating during their entire relationship. She couldn’t imagine having a calm conversation with her ex about a man who practically tried to pee on her leg while being introduced to him. He would have accused, he would have pouted, then he would have made her feel like garbage. But this man in front of her simply asked. “It’s not what it looks like.”

“It looks like a ticking time bomb that will blow up in your face.”

Maybe it was precisely what it looked like then. “That’s not your concern. It’s my face, and it won’t be the first time.”

“But your face is quite dear to me, Swan. I’d do anything to put a smile on it.” He pressed another one of those barely-there kisses on her wrist, this time letting his lips move further up the inside of her arm slowly.

“Then you should leave. Tonight.” Even she didn’t believe the words that were coming out of her mouth. It didn’t help that her head had fallen back against the wall, eyes tightly shut so she could savor the feelings he was inducing without pesky things like lights or coherent thoughts getting in the way.

“Not a chance, love. We’re a package deal. We stay or go together. Now come to bed, and let’s work on that smile.”

She allowed herself to move but was surprised when he went to his bag and tossed a shirt in her direction, grabbing one for himself as well. Turning around to give her privacy, he didn’t join her until she clicked off the light on her bedside table. Wrapping her in his arms again, he buried his face in her hair and murmured, “We’re leaving tomorrow if I have to drag you out of here kicking and screaming.”

“If believing that will help you sleep tonight, I won’t be the one to burst your bubble,” she answered with a yawn. “About that smile…”

“You’ll have to keep it in your pants, Swan. I’ve changed my mind. Our first time won’t be on a bed of lies. I’m not going to let you lump me in with the rest of this fantasy land you’re playing in and then be dismissed when it’s all over. Besides, I need some kind of carrot to dangle in front of you to convince you to leave.”

“Is that what they’re calling it these days? Maybe your carrot isn’t big enough to make me abandon my plans.”

“I’ve had no complaints, love, but I look forward to earning your opinion on the matter.” She felt his laugh more than heard it, the mattress shaking slightly and her hair rustling. “I’ll never get tired of this.”

“Of what?”

“Seeing you in my shirts.”

It wasn’t the way she thought he would put a smile on her face, but she couldn’t grumble when the last sound she heard before falling asleep was his gentle snore.

—

The lightness to her step she attributed to the man still passed out in her bed. Their bed. In the bridal suite.

When had life gotten so beautifully complicated?

The weather was bright and clear, the air pleasantly warm. Emma followed the sound of voices out to the terrace and saw most of the guests were already dining al fresco from buffet tables running the entire length of the house and laden with every manner of food one could imagine. She was filling up two plates when she felt someone approach her from behind.

“If you’re going to lurk, you may as well make yourself useful,” she said, not bothering to glance over her shoulder to verify the identity of her visitor. The brooding silence was all the confirmation she needed. “Hold this plate.”

Lance took it from her and held it aloft with all the patience of a toddler who had his favorite toy taken away. “Did you sleep well?”

“Yes, and yourself?”

“Miserably.”

“That’s too bad. You should ask them to put you in the bridal suite next time. The mattress is great.”

“Only if you agree to join me,” he retorted, a hint of his former confidence resurfacing.

She actually started feeling sorry for him. It was hard going through life so scared of love you only made connections with unavailable people. She would know. “You’ll have to take that up with my husband. Although I warn you, he’s the jealous sort.”

Glumly, he picked at the stem of a strawberry and muttered, “I eat husbands for breakfast.”

“How odd. Are they better with toast or fruit?” She snorted at her joke, but he remained impassive. “Come on, Lance, it’s not the end of the world. We had our fun, but the cat is back. Behave.”

They ended up at the head table with Arthur, Guin, and Sidney. It was the last place she wanted to sit, but since it was also the only place and she was hungry, she decided to bear it as best she could. The conversation flowed easily; plans for the day were discussed and discounted in the same breath.

As she contemplated a third plate, Killian rushed to her side. Kneeling in front of her and wrapping her hand in both of his, he announced, “Darling, I’m afraid I have some bad news.”

Torn between amusement and anxiety, she responded with a single syllable. “Oh?”

“Yes, I didn’t check my email before I arrived last night, but it must have downloaded while I still had a signal. Thank goodness, because I had a message from my mother. Little Hope is sick, and we need to get home right away.”

Looking unconcerned with the newest development, Sidney asked around a mouth full of French toast, “Who’s Hope?”

“You didn’t tell them about Hope?”

“Well, you know how it is…new friends have so many things to talk about it’s hard to fit it all in,” she said with a half-hearted smile, wondering what he was up to.

Ignoring her, he focused his attention on Lance. “Hope is our three-year-old daughter, the light of our lives. And she’s running a high fever and has a horrible rash.”

She had been attempting to swallow, but when he announced the existence of their imaginary daughter to the group, she managed to dribble most of her mimosa down her chin. “Crap.”

“I know, darling. It’s terrible news.” He ran his hand up and down her back in soothing circles, but when she looked at him, he had a dare in his eyes.

Challenge accepted.

“Maybe she has measles. Or chickenpox. Do those still exist? I’m sure she’ll be fine,” Sidney responded, dismissing the drama and helping himself to some of the biscuits from the basket at the center of the table.

“We can only hope so. At times like these, a child needs her parents. We should leave. Now.”

“You’re absolutely right, Captain. But your poor mother. Where’s the nearest phone? I need to call immediately and check-in,” she said, making a show of squeezing Killian’s hand and then turning to her friend and adding, “Arthur, would you ask some of your staff to meet us at our room in a few minutes to help us pack while I make a call?”

With a wink, he was off. Emma followed shortly thereafter, hoping she was giving him enough time and that he had glommed on to her plan. Guin had her taken her arm and was leading her into the hallway while everyone else trailed behind. “You poor dear. I’m so sorry about your little girl.”

Emma believed her, and for the first time, she could see why Arthur would forgive her anything.

“What are you doing, love? With the time difference, they’ll be napping. Better to let them sleep. We can call from the airport.”

“No, I couldn’t bear to leave without an update.”

Reaching the old-fashioned hallway phone, she picked it up and dialed the number for her room, ensuring her body concealed the keypad from view. It rang twice, and then Arthur answered. “Your fake husband is a troublemaker. I think I may have found a new best friend.”

“Oh, Mother, thank goodness we reached you! How is our little Hope?” With a side-eyed glance at Killian, she continued, “What did the doctor say?”

She could hear Arthur’s smile as he continued, “No worries, Emma. She doesn’t have measles at all. It’s just a plain old case of a bad hangover. Hope got into her daddy’s rum, and we found her in the gutter this morning.”

With a guffaw she tried to pass off as relieved laughter, she responded, “Oh, how cute of her! Like father, like daughter. She loves it so…” She placed her hand over the mouthpiece and told the group, “She’s all better. The fever broke, and the spots are practically gone.”

She heard Arthur giggle like the little girl her daughter supposedly was and ask, “Is it safe to hang up?”

“What was that, Mother? Hope wants to talk with her Daddy? Of course, he’s right here.” She turned to him, a smile on her face when she noted his grudging respect, and handed him the phone.

He reached for the device as if it were a venomous snake and placed it against his ear. Emma wasn’t sure what Arthur was saying, but Killian’s eyes got wider and wider until he replied, “I’m just glad you’re feeling better dear heart. We’ll see you soon. Listen to your Nana.”

“Isn’t it wonderful? It wasn’t anything serious. Just a heat rash. We don’t have to leave after all.” Impetuously, she threw her arms around him.

He kissed her temple and whispered, “I’ll make you pay for that, love. This isn’t over.”

@teamhook @kmomof4 @jrob64 @stahlop @xarandomdreamx @xsajx @motherkatereloyshipper @klynn-stormz

[clueless-content-creator]

Kim Younghoon x Y/n: Enemies, but not for long.

Genre: Angst, Enemies to Lovers, Fluff towards the end 

Warnings: Cursing, Heavy Sarcasm (Not edited!)

Word Count: 1.5k

It all started when your lovely brother Sangyeon had introduced you to his so-called "best friend" Like actually, who on earth could see him as a good person? Everyone else except for you, seemingly. And little did you know, he had every intent on getting you to at least like him. Speaking of the devil, he's over at your house right now. Since your brother was going on his honeymoon and you had recently moved into a new house, you only had a few (necessary) pieces of furniture. Sangyeon thought that inviting Younghoon over to 'babysit' you while he was gone was a good idea when you only had one bed. Spoiler alert, it wasn't. Now you're stuck here with an idiot of a man who shouldn't even be here but is anyways. You just woke up from your nap to hear very loud moving noises. They sounded like boxes. Oh wait- "Lovely, you're awake. Finally." He dead-panned making you glare at him. "I bought you some more furniture considering you didn't have anything to cook with." He shrugs, "I was just going to eat fast food until I had the money to get all this. Plus you hate me, why would you do this?" He so badly wanted to confess right there and then but he knew it wasn't the right time. "It'll come, the time will come." He thought to himself. "Well, I thought at the very least you won't have to get fat from eating fast food every day and night and I can cook you something!" His sudden change of attitude made you incredibly suspicious. "You mean, so you can finally poison and get rid of me? Cause if so, then yay! I won't get to be with an asshole anymore!" He sighed, "It's not that Y/n. Come on, we can bond and have some reckless fun while your brother isn't here. You know how protective he is." You chewed on your lip, debating whether to or not. "Nope! Still not happening in a million years, but maybe in your dreams!" You taunted him, then happily skipping away to the bathroom. He heavily sighed in defeat, "This is going to be a very long day." He whispered to himself, remembering when you two were young and this whole story was the other way round. You had really liked him and was pretty much in love with him but he dated other girls and completely ignored you. Except for one day, Sangyeon discussed with him about you and your feelings for him but at that point, you had realized that he was an ignorant asshole that was just a dirty player. And when your brother "introduced" him to you, you were utterly disgusted. Refusing to try to get along, that was years ago and it wasn't until Sangyeon found his wonderful wife that she had opened everyone's eyes, making you two closer each day. But, something still didn't feel right. When you were young, you kept people really close to you, at times almost too close. But now, it hurts to constantly keep everyone at an arm's distance but it's your excuse to not get hurt by other people. But Younghoon's side of the story was the other way round, as a kid, he kept everyone away for most of the time. And was a player in high school to avoid commitment and relationships. But now, a complete softie, at least... For you he was. When Sangyeon mentioned you and how long you had feelings for him he felt awful, considering how long he ignored you for he was still surprised by how much you liked him, emphasis on the -ed. When your brother introduced you two he noticed how distant you were, being the complete opposite of what Sangyeon described you as. He asked for clarification from your brother and he replied with, "You messed up not noticing her earlier, I'd like to say that you're too late but you've still got time man, don't mess this one up too." Still, to this day, Younghoon takes those words to heart. They still echo in his head, "You've still got time, don't mess this one up too." He sighed again, thanking the moving people before going to knock on the bathroom door, "Y/n? You in there?" You banged back on the door, startling him. "Where else would I be?! I can't teleport, although if I could I would go anywhere that's without you!" He scoffed lightly, "Well, you can't so don't be a wimp and face me." You swiftly opened the door, facing him head-on. "What is it with you?" You grumbled, quickly avoiding eye contact with him. "I just need you to tell me what you want to eat." You chuckled half-heartedly, "Pizza. At the very least, something that is not made with those icky hands of yours!" He looked down at his hands, seeing them a little dirty and scratched up from carrying the moving boxes. He gulped silently, then nodding as he grabbed his phone out of his back pocket. "Hello? Yes, can I order (your favorite pizza) please?" You felt a bit guilty for yelling at him for no reason, half of you felt as though he deserved it anyways but the other half didn't. "I wish he really did like me back then, maybe things would be different. And I could be as happy as my brother's wife or least not as stubborn or miserable as I am now but who knows? Things could change with the snap of a finger." You sighed, talking to yourself again as you finished your makeup. But little did you know, things would change, and that quickly. 

That week had passed relatively quickly, Sangyeon and his wife had come back from their trip (honeymoon) already, meaning that Younghoon had to leave. Sangyeon thanked Younghoon for feeding, entertaining, even buying you new furniture, and of course doing the rest for you. Even though you didn't feel like you needed it, you still did. But now, you have mixed feelings, your old feelings for Younghoon are back again, and stronger than ever. But, he's still the same asshole that you fell in love with years ago, he hasn't changed one bit. "Oh great," You thought to yourself. "I'm just digging a deeper hole for myself" You sighed before waving Younghoon off, feeling slightly sad but more so relieved that you now, finally, have the house all to yourself. 

Three weeks had passed after the time that you and Younghoon kind of spent together and you still to this day, have mixed emotions about him. And after you told your friends about the whole situation, one of them had set you up with another man, who apparently was one of Younghoon's old school friends. He was just as (annoyingly) charming as Younghoon. His name was Hyunjae and he was incredibly handsome and was very kind and sweet to you but after the first date that you had, his personality seemed kind of boring and didn't match yours as well as Younghoon's did surprisingly. But when he asked you to be his girlfriend, in a way, you felt obligated to say yes. It was big news to everyone, including you. But it was the biggest news the Younghoon, feeling like his chances of ever getting loved by you was thrown out of the window now. But even after all that trauma, he still felt somewhat happy for you two, forcing a smile upon his lips anytime he saw you two out in public or online.

A month had passed and you broke up with Hyunjae because he explained why he asked you to be his girlfriend so quickly after the date. Long story short, he made a bet with his friends that he could steal you away from Younghoon to make him jealous, maybe even lonely. At this point, you felt utterly betrayed and you wanted him to apologize to Younghoon but he refused, saying that he is your problem now. So here you are, fake crying with Younghoon rubbing your back all because you faked a story that Hyunjae broke up with you. Because after all, he "cheated." Younghoon felt wrong, 'Should I just hug her and confess now?' He sighed heavily "Screw it, now or never." He spoke out loud making you look at him confused. He then took your hands in his and kissed you. Your eyes widened, not being able to close them when his lips moved against yours, then pulling away "I'm sorry Y/n but I can't keep it a secret anymore, I love you and I've loved you even when you did years back in school. I will always love you and be by your side no matter how many guys (or girls) you date and if you don't feel the same way, I get it but I just had to tell you." He had tears in his eyes, gently embracing you as he kissed your head. You pulled away, feeling him trying to resist it wanting to hold you close for longer. "Younghoon... I feel the same, recently I've been on such a rollercoaster of emotions I didn't know what I felt and what I didn't but now I know exactly what I want to feel. I love you too and I want to be with you only!" He smiled wholeheartedly, "Y/n... I love you so much and I will for the rest of my life."

[atlas-of-a-human-soul]

No strings attached (G.D./E.D.)

Summary: When his brother gets married, Grayson is there for his best friend who happens to be Ethan’s ex and the one who got away. However, when she suggests they start a no strings attached relationship with the sole purpose of having a baby together, Grayson is quick to accept for he had loved her his whole life and maybe...just maybe, she loves him too. And while she struggles to move on, remembering the twin who had broken her heart, Ethan complicates everything when he admits he still has feelings for her.

Warnings: angst, fluff, SMUT (unprotected sex), cheating, alcohol, swearing..

Word count: 18k+

"You came." It didn't feel like a statement, more like a gasp that passed his lips in a moment of weakness because seeing her had rattled his self-made gilded cage.

"Grayson insisted." Y/N forced a polite smile, but she couldn't fool Ethan. Not when he had taught her how to fake a smile because she was always too honest and wore her heart on her sleeve. She was too pure to be able to deceive people, so he showed her how and he never expected he'd be hit with a fake smile from her heavenly lips he loved to kiss.

"Oh." It's more of a sigh, a heaviness that pushes down on his chest and makes it harder for him to breathe. It’s been about ten years since they were truly alone and he never thought the next time they would find themselves alone would be in a barn right after he vowed to spend his life with another.

"Is there a reason you wanted to talk to me or are you here just to stare?" Her sharp tongue had caught him by surprise, but he didn't mean her harm, surely she knew that? He simply couldn't help himself once he saw her leave in need of solitude, his own need to speak to her too dire to resist the temptation.

"I'm not sure. I just...when I saw you, I felt my heart stop and everything I didn't want to remember came rushing back. I felt like I'm twenty again, standing in front of you with my heart in my hand and you breaking it all over again." The last thing he wanted was to start an argument, especially not one that's ten years old and something he should have left in the past. His conviction of that is confirmed when her impassive face slowly changes from disbelief, to frustration, to rage.

"I broke your heart?!" Control she tried to hold onto had dispersed as his words reopened wounds she tried hard to close for a decade and failed inevitably.

How can one move on from a man she considered to be the one? No one compares, even now as he's pushing her buttons on a day she felt herself shatter. Even when he had chosen another over her, time and time again, he couldn't let her go. He either loved her too much or not enough.

"You're so full of shit, Ethan. Always were." With a shake of her head, she couldn't do it. She couldn't stand there and rehash the painful past he had left her burdened with. She came for closure, not to be reminded of the cruel nature of their lover's death.

"Me? I'm full of shit?! I stood there, making an eternal vow to someone I always thought would be you, but it never happened! Kristina isn't you!" Shouting at her as she tries to pass him by and get as far away as possible, Ethan grabbed her wrist on instinct and pulled her back to face him. When he did that in the past, she'd always smile and kiss him, tell him all she ever wanted was to know he cares enough to fight for her and their argument would be over, but not this time. There was no room for forgiveness in her eyes and her hate for him was brighter than the fire she held for him before.

“Be honest. We could have worked out.” Her eyes narrow at him when his words grip her heart and mind, pulling her back to a time when she was such a fool for him. From the moment he first kissed her, she was slowly losing herself in him.

"And I'm to blame?" She scoffed, ripping her hand out of his hold with a scowl on her face. Rubbing her wrist to soothe the ache that couldn't compare to the real pain he's caused her, she draws in a short breath.

"You left to Australia to figure things out and disappeared for a month! You brought a girl with you halfway across the world, quarantined together! You started dating her before ever telling me we were finished and then I was expected to be your friend? Fuck that and fuck you." The darkness in her voice is easy to imagine festering inside her for years, yet Ethan never realized she saw it like that.

He could see the pain written in her teary eyes, on her slightly wrinkled forehead and in her trembling lips. He could see the anguish he caused her and yet he found himself torn to pieces by all the plans for the future he had for them that never came true. Years have gone by and somehow, by a cruel twist of fate, she had grown into an enchanting, gorgeous woman and he still had a weakness for her.

"I was at the airport, naive enough to think the online chatter were baseless rumors, but I saw you kiss her." Swallowing thickly, Y/N found it hard to breathe. "And I guess it was fate for you...after all, you did marry her today." She shrugs, wiping a tear before it even started its path down her cheek, likely her last stubborn act to protect her pride and flawless makeup.

"I wish I didn't. I...thought you'd call, or come. I left you a ticket to come for my birthday and you never did. I just thought you were done with me. I thought our time apart had turned into a break and she was there...she was good to me.” Running a hand through his hair, Ethan could hardly breathe with the way she looked at him, her presence is just as intoxicating now as it was back then.

“Why didn't you tell me? If you told me you cared, I'd have left her in a heartbeat, even today. Even now." Ethan sighs, leaning closer to the woman he should have fought for, the woman of his dreams and the one he had told his father was his soulmate. Perhaps it's his stubbornness or his pride that blinded him to her feelings that persisted for so long, but no matter what it was, he had no excuse. He should have fought for her.

"How convenient for you." But she wasn't forgiving now as she usually is and she had no more heart left to give this man who had gambled her trust away. Not after the damage he had caused and left her alone to deal with the rubble.

"Go back to your lovely wife, Ethan. She deserves a faithful husband." With a slight push of her palms against his chest, Y/N had done what she should have done long ago - she let Ethan go and finally, for the first time in forever, she could breathe fresh air again.

Her head hurt and the old scars burned, but as she walked away, her soul was made anew - light and open to new beginnings, something she avoided. She had pushed away every man that got too close, afraid to be hurt again. Now, she found herself ready to try again.

"Tired?" Grayson raised an eyebrow as he took one good look at her glistening eyes and realized how draining the day must have been for her. Every time he asked, he'd get the generic "I'm fine" answer and a smile he could see through, but he let her pretend if it meant she'd get through the day alive. He saw her wither, mourn for his brother for years and it pained him too much for it to be healthy, but he felt her pain personally.

"Exhausted." She mustered a real smile for her best friend, opening her arms wide to give him the biggest hug just for being him. She might have lost Grayson for a while when Ethan first broke her heart and it was mostly because she needed time to heal but they quickly found their way back to each other and despite them moving away in different parts of the country, the pair stayed in contact and always made sure to meet every few months if their lives took them away for longer periods of time.

"But I'm glad I came. It felt good to let the old grudges go." She tightens her hold on Grayson, her hands resting on his strong back as his muscles relax under her fingertips and she can only smile in content. She never felt as warm or safe like she did in his arms. He's always been the man that made her smile, even when she was going through hell. Happy or sad, angry or stressed, he was there to lighten the mood and she always appreciated him for it.

"Wanna have a movie night and get a bit drunk?" Grayson suggests, more than aware of her sudden burst of giggles at the thought of him drinking alcohol.

"You don't drink." She reminds him, continuing to chuckle, covering her mouth with her right hand, something Grayson hated. He always thought she had the most beautiful smile and yet, at some point, Y/N felt deeply insecure about it and it drove him mad because it deprived him of the most mesmerizing view.

"I'll drink a few with you. I'll even let you throw popcorn at every cheesy romance scene on TV." With a small smirk, Grayson pulled her closer to him, stealing a second hug for his soul, but to reassure her as well.

"Let's go." She mumbled into his shirt before separating, allowing Grayson to open her door as he always insisted. She appreciated the gesture more than he knew. Grayson is a perfect gentleman and she couldn’t help but question why he’s been single for so long. In fact, he never had a real relationship since they met.

Driving away to Y/N's hotel room, just to make sure no one comes looking for them at the Dolan house, the pair were unaware of wandering eyes of a drunk, desperate groom who felt his rage swell inside his chest with every beat of his bleeding heart.

**

They drove in silence, music filling the air to prevent any awkwardness although they never had those moments...unless the time Grayson walked in on a naked Y/N in the shower back when they first met at eighteen counts. Aside from a bruise he got from running into a wall instead of the door as he apologized profusely, Grayson found it hard to look at her at all without being flooded with inappropriate thoughts.

"Make yourself comfortable." She tells him the moment she walks into her hotel room, dropping her bag by the door, throwing her heels off within the next two steps. Her heels remained tossed close to the door, like a hazard Grayson was sure would make him sorry he didn't put them in the place neatly for her, but the moment he saw her unzip her dress and it fell to the floor around her sore feet, his brain no longer functioned properly.

With a single move of her fingers, she unhooked her bra as well, throwing it behind her with a loud exhale of relief and while she told Grayson to get comfortable, he could hardly move. Hell, he could hardly breathe as his heart picked up speed and his dick soon felt the accelerated blood flow as it twitched in his pants, aching for release.

She was quick to put on a loose shirt, leaving her with an almost covered ass and those curvy legs of hers available to his curious, hungry gaze that couldn’t ignore the lacy green panties she had on.

"I have a bottle of wine I wanted to gift the newlyweds, but fuck them. They're getting married and starting their life, they don't need quality wine! We do!" Rambling, she grabbed a few glasses that clinked as she carried them, placing them on the table before settling on the couch, only then noticing a very stiff looking Grayson who still stood by the door.

"Are you okay?" She tilts her head to the right with the slightest inkling of worry in her eyes, looking him over for signs he may need help - top to bottom, only to pause in the middle as his problem became evident.

Swallowing thickly, she bites her bottom lip as Grayson rubs the back of his neck nervously, ashamed of his current situation but she only chuckles, rolling her eyes.

"I'll take it as a compliment, now get out of those uncomfortable clothes and drink with me." She orders, opening the bottle with a slight pop before she pours herself a full glass and half a glass to her best friend. Better to pace him than have him drunk within an hour.

"If you're not here in a minute, I'll rip those clothes off you myself." Fixing her eyes on his situation once more, she raises a brow with her very own curiosity playing games with her mind. "With my teeth." She adds coyly, watching Grayson squirm, unable to ignore the red tint in his cheeks.

Quickly, Grayson takes her advice...or better yet, order, getting into nothing but his boxers, stumbling over her hazardously tossed shoes before sitting next to her.

"I don't have anything else to wear." He groans, too aware of his hard on being distinctly impossible to hide now, even as he placed both hands over it.

"I'll crank up the heat so you’re not cold. It's fine. We're friends. If you want to cover up, you can use the blanket, but I promise you I'm not insulted or anything. If I'm anything, it's horny and that won't be happening, so..." Trailing off, she shrugs with disappointment in her small smile and for the first time in forever, Grayson saw an opening. It's something he had held back on, but he didn't have it in him to keep denying himself the woman he had desired for so long he no longer found anyone else worthy of his time for more than one night.

Stature of limitations can't possibly be effective after one party is married, right? Besides, Ethan had simply gotten to her first when in fact, it was Grayson she first met.

"I wouldn't take that watch. It's a knockoff." Grayson couldn't help himself. Not only was the person in question drop dead gorgeous, she also picked up a watch he made a mistake on a year ago and it was a rather hefty check he gambled in the process.

"I'm aware. But thank you." She didn't look back, tired of men and their mansplaining, and definitely tired of men flirting. She wasn't exactly popular with guys she likes, but for some unknown reason, guys she didn't like had a tendency to be very persistent in winning her affections.

"So why buy it then?" However, Grayson was never one to give up and he had no intention of letting this woman go without asking her name first.

"Because my budget allows for a counterfeit, nothing more and I still want it to look fancy." At this point, Grayson knew he was the last person this girl wanted to talk to, but as he opens his mouth to apologize, she turns to him with grace he believed to be magical and her eyes met his.

As cliché it may be, Grayson thought time stopped...even if he was standing in the middle of a shop filled with clocks that could easily prove him wrong but he never felt it before - can a heart literally skip a beat when you meet the person you're meant to be with?

"What if I can give you a fancy, original watch and all you'd have to do is make me a dinner?"

Looking back, he saw how that might have made her feel like he's giving her an immoral offer, but at the time, she was desperate and he was handsome as hell. She saw it as a win and agreed with the widest, most beautiful smile - the first time he ever saw her smile and a sight she didn't cover up back then.

Little did he know Ethan would end up being there as well, crashing their date and soon enough, stealing her right under his nose.

So yes, maybe he didn't give a shit if Ethan is okay with it, this was finally his time to shine. If it's not too late considering she seems to be in love with Ethan even now after he betrayed her over and over again.

"Can you believe Ethan got married before us?" Already tipsy, Y/N chuckles in disbelief, leaning closer to Grayson as she holds her second glass of wine close to her chest. She wasn't much of a drinker either, but she needed some alcohol to get through the night.

"I mean, I always thought it would be you. He used to tell me he isn't fond of the idea of marriage but when we have kids and all that he'd be okay with us getting married." Taking a big chug, she nearly chokes on the wine, coughing as Grayson pats her back lightly. He used to think he’d be the first to get married too, but he gave up on the notion.

"Remember when we made that deal?" It suddenly dawned on her as Grayson reminded her of something she buried in the furthest parts of her mind.

"Before you and Ethan got together, we were sitting on the roof, watching the stars?" Grayson continues and she hums, acknowledging him.

"I said I'd marry you if we were thirty and single." She didn't expect the smile that appeared on her lips nor the honest emotion that took over. They were only eighteen when they made the deal after she and Ethan got into an argument about him buying her expensive gifts she had never asked for before they were even dating officially.

"We're almost thirty now." Stating, she turned completely to Grayson, her eyes taking in his naked torso before continuing.

"We don't have to get married or anything, but don't you want kids?"

Rubbing his forehead, Grayson couldn't help but feel he's too sober for this conversation.

Does he want kids? More than anything!

Did he think he'd be nearly thirty and alone? Never.

"Yes. I know where you're going with this and no. You're drunk, you're not thinking soundly so we can't go down that road." Grayson sighs, moving back to give her some space and create a little distance between them, but she quickly grabs his hand and holds him in place.

"I had two glasses of wine, don't be so dramatic.” Rolling her eyes at him before her face falls, Y/N sighs.

“Grayson, I can feel my biological clock ticking and my womb is crying for a baby to carry. I want this and I honestly can't imagine anyone I'd rather do it with than you. You are daddy material. I've always loved that about you." Taking his hand in hers, she inched closer with a slight smile pushing onto her face.

"We are best friends. We can't just have a baby and act nothing happened. IVF would be brutal anyway." Grayson is trying his best to be the voice of reason. He had a sip of wine, but not nearly enough to ignore that she might be doing this because she can't watch Ethan move on with his life in a very definite way and be happy for him.

Is he supposed to be her distraction from the pain?

"Who said anything about IVF? We could have sex, right here, right now. Repeat it a few times to be sure over the next week and that's all. After that, no sex or romantic feelings. We'd be co-parenting, and if we meet someone else along the way, we'll figure it out as we go."

And maybe he's had more than a sip, perhaps even a whole bottle if he's seriously considering her offer, but then again, he's drunk off her. He's in love with her and he has been for ten years and she's giving him a chance to have her, even if it's for a week, and a chance to be in her life for as long as they both live. Perhaps it's nothing compared to what he wished for, but it's undeniably everything in this particular moment where her bare thigh is rubbing against his and her palm is set on his arm, her eyes boring into his soul as her plump lips quiver with desire.

She's looking at him like she wants to do more than just make a baby - she's looking at him like a man she's passionately interested in and it's a look he's waited a lifetime to see in her eyes.

So, despite all reason and better judgement, Grayson smiles before pulling her onto his lap. "I'm in."

Resting her forehead on his, she draws in a shaky breath. "No strings attached?"

Reluctantly, he confirms. "No strings attached."

Little did they know they would be tangled in all the strings the moment their lips touch.

That first taste of his lips made her heart shiver, her hands shaky as his fill up with her ass, feeling him squeeze as his tongue swipes her bottom lip. Wasting no time, she grants him access, pushing down on his lap until his hard-on pressed against her inner thigh and she can't help the moan that passes her lips nor the brazen curiosity her hands indulge in. Her palms travel down his chest, her left one remaining on his neck as the right one continues on its journey to his hardened member, drawing in a deep breath as his hands move up to the small of her back, warm against her skin.

"So warm." She managed to mumble against his lips, her hand finally reaching his aching bulge, hastily palming him until he breaks their kiss, groaning with unrestrained desire and his control wavers.

"A-are you sure? We still have time to stop and just watch a movie." No matter how it pained him, Grayson couldn't go through with it without making sure she's not going to regret it. He didn't want to be the guy that used her in a vulnerable state and he never wanted to taint the friendship they had before he tasted her lips for the first time in his life. And just one taste of her was enough to mark him hers. He couldn't get enough.

Pausing, she cups his cheeks and bores her eyes in his, the clock ticking in the background only sound beside their strained breaths filling the silence. She couldn't believe he doubted her, although she understood why he's apprehensive.

For a moment, Y/N worried he may find her unattractive, or someone already tarnished due to her relationship with his brother and yet, when she looked into his chocolate brown eyes, Y/N only saw concern for her. He cares enough to handle blue balls if she's in any way doubtful of their unexpected actions. But then again, somehow, Y/N found it as anything but unexpected.

"Never been as sure as I am now."

Reconnecting their lips again, she found herself immersed in him, fully lost and consumed by no one but Grayson Dolan. His hands on her body, his tongue locked in an intense, fiery tango with hers, his penis already visible through his briefs and her own unquenchable desire and longing taking over as she pulls her shirt up, breaking the kiss long enough to pull it off her head and reveal her breasts - nipples hard and ready just as she is.

If there's anything she's sure of is that all her sense of self disappeared when his mouth captured her left breast, his hands slipping past her waistband, flicking her clit as soft moans betray her pleasurable need for him.

"I can't", she shuddered, breathing hard as his open mouthed kisses left a burning trail on her collarbone and she knew she was done for.

"Please, Gray." She struggled to keep herself sane as his fingers picked up speed and a scream erupted from deep inside her chest and he smirked against her neck. Sensitive, needy and ready to comply, she leaned her head on his shoulder while he worked his magic.

"Tell me. Tell me what you want." He teased her, slowly building her up to her first orgasm and he wanted her shaking and wet when he starts having his way with her. She would surely need it.

"You. I. I want you. Inside me. Take me, please." She pleaded, her eyes closed as he picks her up and moves toward the bed, her legs wrapped around him as she rubs herself against him for friction though he didn't stop his hands from making her moan. Try as she might, she couldn't hold them back.

Placing her on the mattress, he smirked before lowering his head to her thighs, gripping her lacy green panties with his teeth before ripping them in a single move. He craved to see them, but the satisfaction he got from tearing them off her was unparalleled.

"What?!" She didn't get to scold him for his lips have found their way onto her sensitive nerve bundle, sucking as his fingers delved inside where she needed him the most. Her hands weaved in his hair, pulling at the stray locks with quivering in her lower abdomen as her breathing became short, coming in gasps of pure ecstasy and her thighs trembled as Grayson's hands gripped her hips and kept her in place when she tried to move away. She pulled at his hair a little too hard, but Grayson didn't mind - loss of control means she's lost in the feelings he had provided her with, only fueling his unbelievable thirst for her solicited moans he only ever heard in his dreams or something close to them whenever she ate something she really liked.

He's relentless, unforgiving and a generous lover and while her mind is forming incoherent thoughts about all the unforgettable ways his tongue moves, all she can say is his name - fervently, unapologetically screaming his name as her orgasm makes her lose all control and instead of simply enjoying the entrancing beauty of the moment his name falls from her lips and her body shakes in his arms, Grayson frees his dick at last, nearly crying out once he pushes himself inside, catching the last wave of her clenching walls, enjoying how firmly her hands grip his arms as he slowly fills her up.

"You're so beautiful." He whispers in her ear as he pauses for her to adjust, slowly inching his way inside her until she's all full and even she can tell it will be a hot minute before he bottoms out.

“So, so perfect.”

Her mind is a little clearer, too aware of his wet lips at her jaw, littering her with kisses as his body weight presses her further into the mattress. She's hooking her leg around his waist, aiding him in his effort to bring her to a new orgasm once again, the new one hopefully fruitful for them both. Her arms fold around him, bringing him closer until his chest falls on hers, no room left between them - their hearts wildly beating fast, allowing them to feel every beat as Grayson lift his head up and their eyes meet again.

Sliding further inside, her mouth falls open as a sigh leaves her involuntarily, making him smirk vainly and the smugness in his eyes only made him more appealing.

It was impossible to ignore how intimate the moment is, how neither of them want to part. Had it been a simple 'let's have a baby' deal, it would have been all business, in and out in minutes, but this was all pleasure and they both knew it. And this was a first for both of them in a sense – their first time without condoms, feeling their partner without any barriers.

"Are you in?" She couldn't help but feel a little self-conscious, the liquid courage gone as he holds her in his embrace - bare in every sense of the word, but she trusts him with all her heart.

"Not yet." Grayson chuckles when her eyes widen at his statement, aware she's thinking about how big he is and how she's probably worried he wouldn't fit but as he adjusts and slides in further, finally bottomed out, he smirks when she gasp at the slight thrust. Pecking the left corner of her lips, their noses brush together as he whispers.

"Now I am." That's when he's moving, leisurely with confidence, building her back up only to stop and make her whimper and he couldn't help but feel proud he's managed to get her to ask for more...to ask for him.

"Gosh, you're such a tease!" She exclaimed, half out of her mind as her hands grip his ass to control his speed and depth and still, he's unmovable, cocky and yet too afraid of losing the reigns of himself. He can't act anymore, no pretense left.

This night has been everything he wanted for so long that he can't even hide it. It's in his eyes, on his lips, in the gentle touch of his fingertips on her skin and the strength of his arms around her, but the way he's taking his time and making every moment count for her? It's proof enough that this is more than a casual fuck.

"What's so wrong in never wanting this to end?"

But she can't hide it either, his words had undone the last of her restraints. He can see it in the way she pushes his matted hair back from his face to better look into his warm, loving eyes, in her genuine smiles, the way she pulls him close and won't let up or the way she says his name as if it's her favorite word.

Y/N realized she would never quite be able to forget the way he makes her feel after years of pushing down feelings she told herself are forbidden - that she had loved him first, before Ethan, before anyone else - terrified to remember, forbidden to forget.

She did it for Ethan, but now? She had no reason to hide.

And as the moment passed, urgency took over and Grayson no longer held back. Long, fast strokes replaced the slow, gentle ones and neither of them could think any longer. Forgoing everything, their moans and grunts and whimpers filled the room as Grayson pounded into her and while she loved when he was gentle with her, she couldn't get enough his rougher, harder way to get her to the finish line.

He gripped at every part of her he could get while she held onto him for dear life, her nails making marks as she finished first but he wasn't too far behind. Once he felt her walls clenching once again and the warmth enveloping him, he was faster, jerkier and insatiable. Biting into his shoulder as her orgasm shook loose all the feelings she kept hidden, Grayson finally came inside, filling her up as he laid on top of her, keeping his weight off with his elbows.

"Don't move." She whispered in his ear, her fingers playing with the hair at the back of her neck as he came down from his high, sweaty and pleasantly exhausted, but already craving the next time.

And even when he went limp inside, pulling out, Grayson’s head remained on her chest as she played with his hair, falling asleep to the sound of her heartbeat.

When morning came and her eyes opened, the night before was just a haze. An arm wrapped around her weights her down - it offers warmth, intimacy, a sense of belonging. It's there to remind her what she thought was just a dream - a deal she had made with her best friend that didn't have too much to do with the excuse she used but a genuine question she needed an answer to - what if she was always chasing the wrong brother?

After all, it was Grayson she met first, found handsome and sexy as hell enough to agree to cook him dinner in his own home. She wanted him to make a move so bad, to grab her and kiss her but he never did and Ethan wasn't shy about the attention he gave her. She was reluctant at first, holding off on agreeing to even a date with Ethan until she lost hope. So if Grayson didn't like her even though she had given him more than one chance to say or do something, Ethan did. She waited too long for him to stop her from going out with his twin.

He never did.

"Since you're vegan, I made you vegetable soup and pasta and a carrot cake, all vegan of course." She's perky, excited and a tad shy about the food she placed before him. The worry behind her eyes over his silence had alerted him to smile, widely and with heart.

"I love it." He exclaimed, making her give him a pointed look.

"You didn't even try it yet." She chuckled when he shrugged and started tasting everything.

"I love it and I tasted it all too!!" It was hard not to enjoy Grayson's company, it was all easy as breathing with him. Such a rare feeling in this world, yet one she promised herself would remain in her life in any shape or form.

And by the end of their dinner, it was already too late. Or so Grayson thought because the moment Ethan walked in and sat next to the girl he believed was on a date with, the atmosphere change had made Grayson dejected and he felt like the third wheel.

"Do you believe in love at first sight?" Ethan asked her and Grayson wanted to snort before shooing him away, especially when he saw Y/N look at his brother in disbelief.

"No." She replied, raising an eyebrow when Ethan suddenly stood up and left. Glancing at Grayson, Y/N silently wondered what the hell happened only to be interrupted when Ethan took the chair on her other side and flashed her a charming smile.

"What about second look?"

And when Y/N laughed out loud, first real laughter Grayson heard, it was for his brother, not him. Ethan was always the more charming one, the one who attracts girls without trying and soon after, he'd watch his brother take the only girl he ever wanted and he witnessed how he broke her heart as well.

But the night they just spent together reminded her of the sadness she felt when it became clear Grayson wouldn't be the brother she ends up with back then. She loved Ethan, still does, but it will never change that longing she always had for the younger Dolan.

Grayson felt her stir under his arm, his eyes fluttering open with a smile as he found his face is buried in her hair and the heavenly lilac scent invading his senses is hers. Memories of the night before had made his morning wood that much worse and while he wanted more than anything to just slide back in between her folds, he couldn't make things awkward in case she's changed her mind.

He still remembers when he found out she was going out with Ethan, not him, making him wonder if he was always just meant to be a bridge that binds them together. He wondered if he'd be able to watch them fall in love and maybe even get married, but it didn't feel like he has a choice.

"Can I talk to you about something?" He could tell she's serious and tormented about the subject at hand, confusing him from the start. It's only been three months since they met and she's become his favorite person within the first hour of knowing her but he feared she'd be bored of him soon and there wasn't much he couldn't handle, but that would definitely leave a mark.

"Sure." Instead of smiling, Grayson grimaced involuntarily, making her frown as she sat beside him, a little stiffer than she usually acts around him.

"It's about your brother." She started and Grayson groaned immediately.

"What did he do?!"

"He asked me out...again." She chuckled at the last bit, shyly looking at her fidgety hands in her lap, unable to meet his eyes.

"I'm thinking about accepting." She sighed, forcing herself to face Grayson, anticipating anger or a jealous fit, anything to prove he cares, yet all he did was swallow thickly, loud enough for her to hear as he scratched his forehead absentmindedly.

"Didn't realize you guys were getting so close." Grayson tried to remain calm, not to lash out because this girl is beautiful, funny, clever and while she's incredibly strong she seems painfully vulnerable and he didn't want to scare her.

"We're not, but he's persistent and I'm out of excuses." She shrugged, deciding not to tell him about the way Ethan makes her feel. It wasn't exactly the same as Grayson, but he was witty and charming and handsome and willing to actually love her and she couldn't wait around for Grayson to remove her from the friendzone forever.

"I'll tell him no if you can give me one reason not to do this." Hopeful, she placed her hand on his knee and waited for the youngest Dolan to speak up and claim her for himself. She waited for him to tell her he loves her and he never wants to be without her...hell, she'd settle for him saying he likes her, but he remained silent and Ethan arrived just in time.

"Hey." Ethan smiled widely, his arm outstretched as his hand opened for her to take and with a final glance, she turned to Grayson in anticipation of any action that would give her an excuse to stay. But nothing happened.

"Hey." She smiled back at Ethan, taking her hand from Grayson's knee and placing it in Ethan's hand reluctantly.

From that moment on, she promised herself to stop her silly fantasies about Grayson, to stop reading too much into his lingering looks or continuous touches and flirting and all the times he had made her heart skip a beat. She promised herself she'd give Ethan a chance and as she departed with him, she did not look back. And she wouldn't for the next ten years, but for Grayson that moment was different.

When her hand left his knee, the cold that settled in had left him craving that warmth for the next ten years - yearning for her touch as much as he does for a fresh breath of air, forever wondering what Ethan had that he didn't. And it wouldn't be the last time he sees them walking away together, the only difference is the distance between them as they do. With time, they grew closer, no longer simply walking side by side but they'd have their arms around one another, they'd kiss, or playfully push around or chase each other and laugh until they both cried. It happened slowly, but it took her away from him, piece by piece until she was truly happy with Ethan, her feelings real and her dreams changed to fit the man she's with.

"Morning." He whispered in her hair, careful just in case she's still asleep so he wouldn't wake her. However, the moment he speaks is pivotal for her, making her turn in his embrace a little too excitedly with a perky smile upon her lips.

"Morning." She smiles at him with glee, throwing her leg over him shamelessly as she brings herself closer to him.

"Woah. Thought you're not a morning person?" Grayson chuckles, his raspy morning voice making her horny all over again and she has trouble stopping herself from initiating anything again.

"Maybe I just had no one to be a morning person with." She challenges, but it only reminded her of Ethan, the grumpier twin that never liked mornings and could only ever be swayed into getting up earlier if she woke him up with kisses or possibly even morning sex.

"Interesting." Grayson raised his eyebrow, ignoring the implication of her words before his hand settled on her hip, finding his fingertips formed bruises.

"Fuck, did I do that?!” Pulling the covers off, Grayson scanned her body carefully with disgust for himself, ignoring her squeal. Despite being bold and freaky in the sheets the night before, Y/N couldn’t help the insecurities flooding her when Grayson got a good view of every single one of her imperfections under the unforgiving morning sun. She wondered if the disgust on his face is because of her belly rolls because she always struggled with her weight which also showed in the stretchmarks and cellulite some men found unappealing and she felt tears prick her eyes as his gaze lingered on certain parts of her body.

“I’m so sorry I hurt you. I swear I’ll be more careful next time.” Those words flew from his mouth before he had a chance to think of the implications. Next time means he wanted to be with her again, to take her as shamelessly as he did the night before but it also meant he was feeling guilty, maybe even remorseful.

“I’m not.” Interrupting his self-pity party, Y/N propped herself up on her elbows and smiled softly, her eyes taking his beauty in because as unforgiving as the morning sun may be on her, it’s definitely illuminating on him. The sun favors him for sure.

“I’m not sorry because you made me feel attractive, needed, loved. I’m not sorry because when you looked at me just now, it wasn’t because you wanted to see the weird moles I may have or the stretchmarks, but for possible signs you hurt me. When you only made me so, so happy.” Sitting up on her knees, her palms find their way onto his abs, trailing his skin with her thumbs as the rest of her fingers grab hold of him and pull him toward her.

“I’m your best friend and I might be carrying your child now. Trust me when I say that there isn’t anything I regret about last night. If anything, the bruises mean we had more fun than we anticipated.” She shrugs coyly, kinking an eyebrow until he finally bestows one smile upon her.

“It was more than just fun.” Grayson notes and she nods. She loved how his words disturbed the rhythm of her pulse. There was never a simple moment between the two of them, always carrying emotions too strong for them to ignore.

“I can tell. Your dick is sort of in my face.” She chuckles, glancing at his red tip already up for the job she absolutely hoped he’d take up.

Crimson cheeks that flushed with blood were enough for Y/N to realize Grayson feels too ashamed to ask so before he manages to say a single word, her tongue laps his tip and a strangled moan escapes him.

Smirking, a little braver, her hand wraps around his shaft, moving up and down with circular motion, her tongue teasing him as her best friend becomes undone, just as he did for her last night. She couldn’t help herself, desperate to hear his moans once again but to have him inside as well.

Pursing her lips slightly, she looks up with her doe eyes, moaning as she opens her mouth and lazily takes just the tip. She hollows out her cheeks around him, and he takes in a shaky breath. His breathing is fast, and she watches him as his eyes close and his head falls back, panting softly as she bobs her head up and down, trying to take as much as she can while moaning herself. Hearing him moan felt almost as good as sex.

“I can’t. You’re. Driving. Me. Crazy.” Grayson says between his shallow breaths, half thinking he should be looking for his inhaler instead of losing his patience. He teased her the night before and now she’s punishing him and he’s not ashamed to admit he doesn’t have it in him to persevere. So, when it feels like his heart will burst, Grayson pulls back before moving in on her without reserve.

“You think that was funny, don’t you?” His snappy attitude only makes it more amusing as she licks her lips and smiles, evident she had every intention of torturing him for a long period of time. Much longer than he could withstand.

“Next time you want to try that, make sure I’m tied down and unable to escape.” Grayson growls before pushing her back down on the mattress and she giggles because she got exactly what she wanted – for him to relinquish control and fuck her into the mattress like there’s no tomorrow.

“I’ll keep that in mind.” She winks as his lips hover above hers. He rubs his cock over her entrance, playing with the wetness, and she gasps and shudders when he rubs it over her clit.

“I’d be careful about starting games you can’t finish.” With that warning, he smiles arrogantly, and slowly pushes his head in. Kissing her hungrily, hard enough that she imagined he’d bruise her lips too.

She wasted no time in spreading her legs further to help him adjust. He slowly makes his way in, breaking the kiss only to let himself groan into the crook of her neck, pecking every inch of skin he could get close to. She was tighter than he anticipated, a little harder to penetrate than the night before but she was still willing as her patience resolved and she pushed herself up, switching their places.

A little wild and unexpected, but she made him fall hard. The view before him only made his breathing shallow, panting as she took it upon herself to impale herself fully until she cried out softly.

“Are you okay?” Grayson struggled to speak as his breath turned ragged, making her worry more.

“Should have trusted the speed you were going with.” She managed a smile for him, starting to move on top of him as his hands gripped her hips again and she whimpered when his fingers found their match on the bruises he left behind. However, as she moved, Grayson’s guidance became scarce and his grip weakened when his breathing got louder, enough to make her open her eyes and look at the stubborn man under her who valued pleasure over his ability to breathe.

“You need your inhaler.” She concluded, reaching over him to the nightstand he left it on last night since he needed it after they were done too.

Handing him the inhaler, Grayson took a few puffs before tossing it aside, flipping her back under him so quickly she squealed in surprise.

“Thanks, love. Now, let me have my way with you.” He thrusts fast inside her, pulling out halfway and pushing back into her, holding her hips with a strong grip. His strokes are getting more erratic, faster and harder than before. He pumps fast and hard, with reckless abandon for a few moments before his fingers make play with her clit, making her gasp and buck her hips up to meet every thrust he makes until it drove them to the edge of madness.

He grabs a fist full of the bedspread as he shudders, feeling her cum and scream his name pushing him over the edge as well, ending their insatiable desire for a little while – enough for them to eat something.

He plants kisses to the inside of her knees, and she giggles, pulling them away. He smiles at her, pulling himself up before collapsing beside her, both breathing heavily, happily exhausted as they stare at one another – sweaty, messy hair and lazy smiles on both their faces.

But then the phone rings, interrupting the moment of comfortable silence.

“Ignore it.” She urges him, but the incessant ringing is making them both nervous.

“What if something happened?” Grayson bites his bottom lip before reaching out to see who is calling, finding his mother’s name on the screen. After all, he didn’t come home at all and she had the right to worry about her son.

“Answer it.” Y/N encourages him, aware that she can’t hold him in that room indefinitely, though she wishes she could.

“Hello?” Y/N watched him nod, changing his facial expressions every few seconds.

“I stayed with Y/N. I really don’t want to come today.” Grayson rolls his eyes and Y/N slaps his arm for being rude, even if his mother couldn’t see him.

“No. I’m not. I don’t care.” Groaning, he tossed the phone aside, sitting up with his hands in his hair and a frown etched on his face.

“Everything alright?” Her voice is gentle, soothing, a comforting note in the mess his head’s in.

“Ethan and Kristina are having a lunch for close family and they want me to come and I really don’t want to go.” Grayson explains, sighing as Y/N drapes her arms around him, her hands clasping before him as she leans almost entirely on his back, her head resting on his shoulder as her face is turned to him, pecking his cheek.

“Go. He’s your brother. You should be there for him.” Y/N’s words make sense, but Grayson didn’t want to leave her alone. He didn’t want to spend a single minute away from her. Her touch kept him sane and the way her body fit his perfectly would haunt him whenever she wasn’t with him. He just knew it.

“Not without you. I…If we leave this room, it just feels…definite. Like, all the memories we made will have been for nothing and when that happens, you won’t be mine.” Swallowing thickly, Y/N understood perfectly what he means by that. In this moment, they’re in a protected bubble of their own and although they didn’t say it, it has nothing to do with the deal they made but actual feelings that had been long buried finally came to life. Leaving their bubble might make it all go away. She feared it too.

“If I agree to go…we need to talk first. Like…what are we going to tell them when I get pregnant?” She raised an eyebrow as his hands gripped hers, pulling them apart before swiftly pulling her under his arm and onto his lap.

“I want to say we dated. At least for a little while.” No. He wanted to ask her to date him now. He wanted to ask her to be his, but she said no strings attached and he had no right to go back on that unless she asked him to.

“Okay. But Ethan might be an issue. You two basically lived together.” She reminds him, trying to keep a faint smile present though she wished he’d just stop this nonsense and tell her he wants her.

Does he not feel the magnetic force they’ve been brought together with?

Does he not feel how they’re made for each other?

She wished she could go back and ignore the no strings attached clause in their little agreement because she wanted all of him, all the strings attached.

“We spent weeks apart. I’ll just say it felt awkward and we wanted to be low-key but the pregnancy caught us by surprise.” He’s making these lies up too quickly, too well for her to ignore and she can’t help but wonder how he became a good liar. The Grayson she remembers had always been easy to read but he felt different now.

“Okay.” She hums in response, struggling to ignore his penis brushing against her bare ass.

“I need a shower.” She states, noticing him wiggle his eyebrows. “What?”

“Wanna save some water and shower together?” And while he’s cheesy as hell, she couldn’t help but love it – love him.

“Mom, dad, this is Y/N. My girlfriend.” Y/N had been dreading this moment for months, ever since she realized Ethan is serious about her and his jokes about her meeting his parents were anything but jokes.

“You’re beautiful.” Cameron noted, furrowing her eyebrows before looking at Ethan. “How did you trick her into dating you?”

And while the day went off without a hitch, his parents loving her, Y/N couldn’t help but worry she didn’t really fit in. She worried they pretended to like her, for Ethan’s sake.

“She’s a great girl. Why are you so worried?” Y/N hid as she heard Ethan’s parents talk in hushed voices, realizing it’s about her and while it seemed she had the support of his father, his mother wasn’t as happy.

“She’s great. But I feel she’s more suited for Grayson that Ethan. That’s all.”

It’s been a very long time since the moment Y/N hid in the shed while she heard Ethan’s mother say she’s not confident she should be with her son. It was never that she didn’t like her, she just didn’t find her to be right for Ethan. She wondered how she accepted Kristina, if she ever thought she wasn’t the one for Ethan too. However, she remained grateful to his father for being her defender. He had faith in them and she still remembers Ethan telling him he would marry her one day.

But that never came to be and while it hurt yesterday, she felt at peace with that now. Grayson reminded her of things she forgot along the way and she couldn’t hold it against Lisa any longer because she was right – she wasn’t enough, she wasn’t the one for her son. But Grayson? She really hoped she would be.

“Ready?” Grayson’s voice broke her out of her trance, making her heart jump. Drawing in a deep breath, she nods before hooking her arm with Grayson’s.

However, when they got inside, they found there was no party at all.

“Ma?” Grayson called out for his mother but she wasn’t the one to appear.

“Our flight is earlier than expected.” Ethan leaned on the wall, eyeing the pair suspiciously. “The party is canceled. Mom went with Kris and Cam to buy some last minute necessities.”

Making brief eye contact, Y/N looked away swiftly to hide her true emotions. Ethan always said cheeky was good and allowed her the freedom to be herself. They laughed so much, even in the most inappropriate times, but of everything they ever did, it was looking in his eyes she loved the most. That's all they ever needed to connect, just them, just eyes, no words. So yes, she avoided his gaze like the plague.

“In that case, we should go.” Grayson clears the tension, hating how even after last night and that morning where he claimed her as his, Ethan could just look at her and she’d be lost to him.

“So soon?” Ethan quipped, pursing his lips because he felt something’s askew.

“Y/N’s going back to L.A. soon and I want to spend all the time we have together.” Grayson remarked, taking her hand in his before pulling her back with him, slowly but firmly.

“Have fun on your honeymoon. With your wife.” Grayson adds for good measure, reminding both Ethan and Y/N why it’s best they leave.

Taking her out of there, his hand on her lower back, Grayson made sure he was fast and he left no room for Ethan to make a play on her emotions.

“I’m fine.” She tells him before he has a chance to ask, basking in her glorious smile right after for she holds his hand tenderly and pulls him closer, her other hand grasping his shirt to pull him down and meet her brazen lips.

Without complaints, Grayson accepts her supple lips and closes his eyes to fully enjoy the moment, blind to more than one spectator for his mother, sister and sister in law arrived shortly as their kiss consumed them, but the pair paid no mind to the world around them as they parted and got into the car with one goal in mind – hotel room, no clothes and a lot of screaming and laughing for days to come.

Barely leaving the room, Grayson and Y/N enjoyed each other’s company. She had found herself happily nuzzled in his side regardless if it’s to steal a kiss, make him smile or simply to rest her head as they watch a movie. There appeared to be no limit to their attraction nor their need to taste each other. Grayson loved discovering every inch of her skin, as if he is mapping her body to commit to memory.

“Do you really have to go?” He whines, his face buried in between her breasts, leaving open mouth kisses along her sternum.

“I have a job to get back to. But you’re gonna be there in a month too and we’ll know if this worked or not by then.” She smiles as he huffs, playing with his hair – wrapping every lock around her fingertips.

“Don’t take the test before I come.” He pleads, but she agrees far too quickly.

“Unless I get symptoms, I won’t.” She sighs, looking up at the ceiling. “I wish I never had to leave this room.”

“Me too.” He whispers softly, looking up at her with adoration in his eyes. “I can’t wait to see you again.”

And while he said it would be a month when they parted with one last kiss at the airport, Grayson already started to scheme how to shorten that time and go see the woman he was convinced is pregnant with his baby. He felt it in his bones and he couldn’t wait for a full month.

So, he made different preparations instead – he made room for himself in the Los Angeles branch of the company he and Ethan ran from New Jersey, making sure he’d be there with her every step of the beautiful journey. And he had every intention of making her his, permanently, in that time as well.

Little did he know when he arrives there in twenty days, he’d find his Y/N on a date with someone else.

When he saw her hug another, his heart cracked and he felt his chest constrict. Grayson holds his breath behind pursed lips, his hands forming fists to stop the shaking. She wraps herself around him, too close for his liking and he can’t help but wonder if their time together really meant nothing to her at all. He had hoped she’d abolish the no strings rule, but he felt silly now. She’s gazing through her overly made-up eyes with her cloying vapidity, simpering softly until he tells a joke. Then she giggles like she's a child, slapping his chest playfully while Grayson is stuck in the background, watching her with someone new…or perhaps it’s someone old she never told him about.

He can't say anything about it, to do so will put their friendship at risk, and that is something he won't do. Friends like her don't come along too often. But then again, can he ever go back to just friends after he’s had her in every imaginable way? Friends don’t know how you taste and he knew every inch of her skin. He knew her.

Clearing his throat, Grayson decided not to be a bystander again. He would never sit back and watch her leave with another man again and if he has to, he will fight for her love. This won’t be history repeating itself – he vowed it before walking toward them in strides, to make sure the hug is the only intimacy they have time for.

“GRAYSON?!” Before he can even make his presence known, Y/N catches him from the corner of her eye as he approaches, pushing away the other guy in her excitement only to run straight for her best friend, jumping into his embrace unexpectedly enough to make Grayson stumble upon impact.

“OOf! Slow down, love.” Grayson’s jealousy subsides long enough for him to wrap his arms around her, pressing her closer until he can hardly breathe but air is the last thing he needs now. All he needs is her and that flowery scent of her beautiful hair as he’s once again buried in it.

“SHUT UP!” She yelled, making him wince because she quite literally screamed in his ear but he smiles nonetheless. “I missed you so much.” Whispering softly, she hugs him tighter and he’s certain his lungs are no longer able to expand but it feel so, so good to have her return the emotions he’s been carrying around. It was insufferable to be apart from her, but the feeling of having her back in his arms couldn’t be described by any earthly words.

“Should I go?” The stranger Grayson forgot about had spoken up, making Y/N’s eyes widen before her hold on Grayson relents and she’s stepping back a moment later with a shy smile upon her lips.

“Yeah. I think that’s best.” Pressing her lips together, she waves the man goodbye as he shakes his head in disbelief, turns on his heel and walks away and maybe it’s because Grayson expected an altercation or because he needed it for his own ego boost, but he was disappointed... And a little too happy he was her obvious choice.

“Come on.” Tugging him by his arm, Y/N drags Grayson inside and while she wanted to be the innocent best friend he’s used to, she couldn’t wait long before she had him alone.

“So, uh…Who is that guy?” Grayson didn’t waste time. While Y/N planned to toss her clothes aside and make his jaw drop, Grayson shrugged his jacket off and shoes next, starting up what she hoped he’d ignore. But then again, discretion was never his strong suit.

“Are you? Jealous?" She teased with a cocky smirk upon her rosy lips, drawing him near with every passing second. Rolling his eyes, he shakes his head. Would it be smart to come clean so soon?

"Maybe. It's just...weird." Gulping, Grayson pulls away, something he never imagined he'd do. Whenever she’s a part of the equation, he only ever saw himself being impossibly close to her but now? He couldn’t let her just blatantly ignore his concern.

"Why?" Her eyebrows furrowed as she frowned, praying she's hiding the hurt of rejection well enough not to be caught by him, the man who knows her best.

"Because you might be pregnant and I really want this pregnancy to be our time. To be just us." Pressing his lips together, Grayson drops his gaze, his mind made up though his heart isn't. "But if you want to date I won't stop you."

But she didn't want to. Not at all. She wanted Grayson and perhaps that's why she decided to tell a white lie.

“I never even kissed the guy. He’s got a thing for me, but he just walked me back after work. It’s nothing important.” But that wasn’t the lie she planned to tell.

"I lied. I took the test and it was negative." She promised him she'd wait for him and she did, but she can't risk losing him yet. She needs more nights lost in him, drunk on his cologne and sloppy kisses. She isn't ready to let him go.

"Oh. I guess we need to keep trying. If that's what you want?" Fighting a smile despite his initial disappointment, Grayson took one step closer as her encouraging smile warmed his insides.

"Guess we should. How about we resume here? Now?" The best relationships are often when people are not the same, yet complimentary, each bringing qualities that help the other. This felt like that – they had the important things in common but they have always been different enough to make their lives exciting. So when she cocks her head to the side, giving him access to her neck, Grayson is quick to respond and latch his lips just over her sweet spot, relishing in the moan it elicited.

But it didn’t stop that night. It felt like New Jersey all over again – every moment they could spend together was filled with romance, dates, stolen kisses in public and openly sensual kisses in private. He drove her mad with every touch while she put his worries at ease with every kiss. While she sought an adventure filled life he provides, he wanted a woman that made him giddy with every new sunrise by her side.

From their beach dates to the late night dancing barefoot in the kitchen, stargazing and dinners and movies, to driving around just screaming to their favorite songs like they’re teenagers again. They wasted so much time…So many years they could have been happy were gone, but neither would ever let another moment slip away. So they used the passing months wisely, catching up on everything.

“Can you come home?” She left the message on his voicemail, unintentionally calling her apartment home and to some degree it’s become one. Grayson never found a place to stay since he was renting the house he and Ethan used to live in and she never wanted him to. But today, she needed him. Though he told her he’s going to be in meetings all day, Y/N was hoping he’d see her message and drop everything.

Realizing how selfish her thoughts are, she shakes her head before sighing. Anxiously looking at the pregnancy test in her hand, she toys with the idea of taking it alone and surprising him with it later. She figured maybe it wasn’t really positive and she just ate something bad. Besides, she had some blood on her panties a few weeks ago and while it wasn’t a normal period, blood is blood. Right?

Luckily, she didn’t have to deliberate for long. They always joked about how Grayson could feel whenever she needed him but it always proved to be true. Even now, without even thinking twice about it, he had showed up for her with a box of chocolates she adored.

“What’s the emergency?” Grayson worried because every time he felt her distress in the past, he found her either heartbroken over a guy or there was a death in the family – even if that one time it was a pet fish she grieved for.

“Oh.” Swallowing thickly, Grayson found the reason before she uttered a single word. “Did you take it?” His curiosity was strong, but his furrowed eyebrows showed just how it put him on edge too. If she’s pregnant, does it mean they no longer need to sleep together?

Did it mean she was once again off limits? Deep down, they both hoped it would be a negative, just so they could keep up their no strings attached relationship without putting their friendship at risk but what’s the point?

Are they not past that stage? Neither of them has guts to ask. Not even Grayson, even though he’s always been great in communicating his feelings with her, if his actual feelings for her didn’t count.

“No. I wanted to do this with you. Plus, I threw up this morning…three times…because of chicken.” His eyes show the kind of gentle concern she’s unaccustomed to. He lays his hand lightly on her shoulder, and instead of flinching like she usually does with others, she’s soothed by it. He leaves his hand there and speaks with such a soft voice that his words calm her more by the way they are said than the actual words.

“I’m here. Whenever you’re ready, I’ll be there. Whatever you need.” It feels as if she’s wrapped in a blanket of his caring. How could she be scared of losing him when he’s never once left her side? How can she not consider her actions now when she could see how profoundly they affect him too? He’s always going to be the one. Perhaps it was Ethan for her teenage self, the woman she forced herself to be back then but it’s Grayson now…maybe it always was.

“I love you.” She whispers, terrified when his face falls and his eyes widen. She can feel the fear in her chest waiting to take over. Perhaps it only wants to protect her from more pain but there really isn't any danger. It sits there like an angry ball propelling her towards an anxiety she just doesn't need. 

It’s Grayson, he won’t hurt her.

Or so she tells herself.

“I’m in love with you.” She clarifies, her lips quivering as she speaks and he can’t believe the words he waited his whole life to hear are finally spoken.

“I waited my whole life to hear that.” Grayson’s lips twitch as a smile creeps up on his face, removing the serious man he was moments before and he can’t help but giggle like a baby when she pecks his nose – quickly as if she’s suddenly shy before him, as if he doesn’t know her body, movements and even the slightest changes in her facial expressions. He’s always known her better than anyone.

“I love you too. So fucking much…for so long.” He admits, eyes filled with tears as she too starts to cry from happiness.

“And I’m pretty sure we’ll have a baby.” She adds, waving her hands before her face to stop her makeup from spilling down her cheeks, but her smile never falters. Her eyes hold so many emotions at once, but her smile has only one purpose – to make him forget about all the worries he carries with him in the outside world.

“Let’s find out!” She scrambles to her feet, running into the bathroom as he watches her in complete bliss, happiest he’s ever been. She’s closing the door slowly, teasingly, keeping her eyes on him all the way before they’re shut and he can’t help but laugh when he hears her open the tap, aware she’s got a shy bladder and him being able to hear her is making it harder for her to pee.

He finally had an inner happiness, one utterly independent of the outside world. She smiled like it burst from within instead of being worn like an obligation in the way others did and Grayson never felt as grateful as he did just now, aware her smile will be a permanent presence in his life.

“It’s done.” She walks out with a slight spring to her step, holding the stick in her hand and she couldn’t stop her impatient pacing around Grayson, not even when he tried to pull her down to the bed with him. All he wanted was to kiss her and calm her as she does for him, but she needed this freak out. He understood that.

Glancing down, she huffed before her mind registered what her eyes caught sight of. There was an explosion in her brain - the good sort, the type that carries more possibilities than she could be conscious of, but there were hundreds of ideas of the future in that buzz of electricity... she could feel it. It was the calling card of adventure, of paths awaiting her feet. Whatever was ahead could be a great challenge, and there could be tears, but it was her adventure to take and so she smiled. After all, she wouldn’t be alone.

“It’s a positive.” She let the stick fall as Grayson stood up with his own emotions bubbling to the surface, allowing him to sweep her off the feet. Littering her neck with kisses, Grayson spun them around as she squealed, holding on tight with her legs wrapped around his waist.

Had someone told her she’s be in love with a baby on road five months ago when she attended Ethan’s wedding, she’d laugh at them. Not too long ago, she felt herself break for his twin only to realize she was in love with the wrong twin all along.

That night was different. She always felt Grayson put his emotions in every kiss and every move whenever they had sex, but the tenderness of their emotions being out in the open with the happy news overflowing their senses, it didn’t feel like sex. For the first time in her life she understood what it means to make love – to truly love someone with every part of your soul. She always kept some of her heart and soul for herself in past relationships, even with Ethan, but Grayson stole every last bit of her and yet she felt complete, fulfilled like never before.

That night felt right. He felt right.

“What will you tell your mom? Ethan?” She trails her fingers up and down his chest as his hand remains over her lower abdomen, hesitant to move an inch away just in case he feels something even though he knew it wasn’t likely.

“That I love you and you love me and we made ourselves a little miracle.” Grayson takes her wandering hand in his free one, pulling the back of it to his lips. As he leaves a lasting kiss, she grins but the thought of telling people still made her reluctant to leave the bed.

“I’m scared. They might hate me.” She admits sheepishly, looking up at him only to see his frown deepen.

“Ethan is married and my mom loves you. Cameron misses you too. It’s going to be fine and if it isn’t, I won’t let them make you sad. I’ll protect you.” Pecking her nose to seal his promise, he narrows his eyes in thought.

“You know what? I’ll text them all in the family group chat!” Grayson jumps from the bed, using the momentary shock to get away from Y/N before she shrieks. “It’s gonna be painless! I’ll send them a photo of the positive test to prepare them!” His explanation made no sense at all, of course, but he was fast, too fast for her to stop him.

“THEY DON’T EVEN KNOW WE’RE A THING!” She screams, her head in her hands as she blinks fast, trying to understand why he’s doing this but it’s not hard to forget his continuous talks about wanting to be a dad their whole friendship. It was something to boast about for him, but she was mortified. She respected his mother and she felt it was something she should learn of in person, but he had a different idea.

“Fuck.” Grayson’s eyes widen, aware she’s right but it was too late. He had pressed sent before his mind could take responsibility and control over his body and it took exactly ten seconds for his phone to explode because not only did he send it, but he posted it online.

“Why are you pale? You’re literally changing shades!” Y/N jumped too, worried his mother was already freaking out on them but as she looked at his phone and the frantic attempt he made to hide what he’s trying to delete, she realized he had made the entire world freak out.

“GRAYSON BAILEY DOLAN!”

Within hours, their secret was out. Even if he wasn’t a YouTube star anymore, the fan base remained loyal and the photo from his Snapchat was everywhere.

“Shower and get ready while I book us tickets home. Your mom deserves a real explanation.” Y/N ordered as she put her hair up in a tail and he knew better than to argue. After the lecture she held for hours with several mutual freak outs, he knew it was better to be quiet and just be glad she’s not leaving his ass.

Kissing her temple, he was surprised she didn’t push him away as it was the first physical contact they made since his mistake spread worldwide.

“You’re letting me touch you?” It passed his lips without thinking, making her turn to him and her hands quickly found their way to his face, pulling him down to her lips. It was a short kiss, but a reassuring one.

“I’m not sure who you’ve dated but I love you and I’m not going to torture you, okay? You made a big fucking mistake but it’s not something I’d hold over your head. Just get ready.” As he disappeared in the bathroom and turned the shower on, Y/N planned to book tickets and get ready too, but fate had different plans when her bell rang in a few minutes and she opened the door only to have the shock of a lifetime.

Heart beating frantically, she tried to compose herself in order to hide just how upsetting it is to find him there without even calling first. She didn’t need him showing up at her doorstep now…had he done it eight years ago when they broke up after their two year long relationship, maybe then she’d be happy. Now? It was unsettling.

"Why are you here, Ethan?" She frowned, her eyes hard and her jaw set, no room for forgiveness in her but he had to try. Walking past her and inside, he licks her lips before opening his mouth again. He knew he had to choose his words carefully.

"I'm here for you." He could hardly speak, his mouth dry and his hands shaky, feeling like a teenager once again. She always made his insides turn with every look and every smile, but this felt different. She was his judge and jury and he sure as hell committed a crime against her.

"You have a wife, Ethan. You married the girl you told me not to worry about!" Y/N reminds him, memories of their undoing running through her mind.

"Oh, you're gonna kiss her?" Y/N gnawed on the inside of her cheek anxiously, aware this isn't exactly cheating, so why did it hurt? Why did it feel like betrayal? Whenever she looked at her photos, she envied her looks. She looked gorgeous, legs for miles and perfect smile Y/N admired but also envied. Ethan’s fans always made sure she knew how their thought her smile is hideous and after a time, Y/N believed them. She stopped smiling with her teeth, hiding it with her hand whenever she could, never aware of Grayson’s sorrow with every hidden smile. But this girl had the smile they’d like. It’s the first thought that haunted her.

"Just for the video. It's all pretend and she's not even my type, okay? I tried getting Grayson to do it, but he's adamant about being behind the camera. Babe, you have nothing to worry about." Brushing her hair back, tucking it behind her ear, Ethan cupped her cheek with a tenderness she had a weakness for. He had the ability to drive her crazy with such simple tricks and she hated him for it. But she loved the way he’d look at her with care, as if she was the only girl he could see.

And she was. Little did she know, Ethan never loved another like her. Not before her and not after, but at the time, he never imagined he’d ever have to look into eyes that weren’t Y/N’s. She had made him thankful for being alive, for every moment and memory they made together. Memories that would later torment him.

"You can even come to the set if it will make you feel better." Ethan offered but she refused instantly. If she’s so beautiful in the photos, Y/N couldn’t handle her in person. It would be too hard to see Ethan, the man she loves so much, locking lips with another, a girl more suitable for him as his mother said.

"I love you, but I can't trust myself not to go feral on her." Y/N chuckled, but she meant it. How do people do this so easily? How can you separate what’s real and what’s acting when you’re immersed in a scene and the other person? Would Ethan be able to? She was most afraid he’d fall in love with the leggy model and she’d be yesterday’s news like people speculated since they went public. Sure, they never specified which model but they sure as hell weren’t shy about shipping him with every woman in the world beside her.

A few months later

"Hawaii?" Not only is it her dream place to visit, but also a chance to be with Ethan and make beautiful memories, but timing was killing her. She wished to spend the mornings at the beach with Grayson and waking Ethan later when she’s all wet from the ocean and having sex in the shower after. She wanted to run wild in the nature surrounding them, to feel rain on her skin as he makes a declaration of his undying love. She wanted to watch the sun set in his embrace and go skinny dipping under the cloak of night.

"I really can't. My cousin is having that surgery and I'm the only family member around that can take care of her. Damn it." Letting out a frustrated sigh, she threw herself on the bed with a dramatic flare she picked up from him. If anything, it’s true that people in relationships appropriate each other’s behaviors.

"That sucks." Ethan followed her move, but he truly felt sad she wouldn't join the trip. After everything he's been through with his family and losing himself in the past year he finally started to see the light at the end of the tunnel yet she was never waiting for him there. He woke up one day, finally feeling better and saw the distance between them and he feared what it would turn into if they don't reconnect. He easily forgot all the months she didn’t leave his side and her listening to every rant he could produce or her forgiving him every time he snapped at her. She was always there, but his insecurities had started to flood him and he couldn’t help but wonder if she’s avoiding spending time with him. He wondered if she loved him at all or if she found him to be the safe option – routine.

"You won't be alone. Grayson is gonna be there." She tried to cheer him up, unaware of the real list of all the people that would be going as well.

"And everyone else from the video. Plus some other friends." Ethan listed but all she heard was that Kristina would be there. She hated how deep it cut whenever her name came up, especially after the video went public and EVERYONE loved Ethan and Kristina as a couple. They made edits, videos, tagging Y/N in too many of them for her to really see them all but she saw enough. They made sure she knew she wasn’t good enough and they’d never accept her fully. He was always too good for her. At least in their eyes.

It wasn’t easy spending a week without him, complete radio silence. Knowing he was with her made her blood boil and her imagination wasn’t merciful either. But when he returned to her, it was with a smile and thoughtful gifts. As always, she couldn’t stay mad at him.

Soon after, Ethan had come to her with yet another dream trip planned out.

"But all my finals are during that time. I might have a week off for Christmas and New Year's but I'm swamped."

"It's fine." Ethan shrugged, aware there's no reason to fight. "I'll send you a ticked if you change your mind."

"You'll have Grayson. It’s gonna be awesome." Pecking his cheek, she leaned on his shoulder, suppressing the hurt of his continued choices of trips she wanted to take at times he knew she'd be too busy. Maybe it was a way for him to distance himself from her as he had been a bit snappy with every time she couldn’t show up for some gathering. Sometimes, she wondered if he was aware she wasn’t handed the world on a silver platter – she had to work, study, and tend to her family and friends too. He was finally doing better and she was ecstatic for him, but she couldn’t be his whole world.

"Kristina will pick us up!" Grayson screamed from somewhere inside the house, involuntarily adding fuel to the fire.

"She's gonna be there?!" And all her worst insecurities had resurfaced. Not only is he leaving to a different continent for a month or so, but he’d be there with the girl the world wants him with and at a time they seem to be struggling. Does she trust him? Yes. Can she say she’s not afraid he might break her trust? No.

"She's Australian and she’s gonna be there. So yeah." Ethan shrugs, lost to how it infuriates his girlfriend. He never did see the warning signs nor the way his fans’ comments tore her down and slowly scrapped her confidence to nothing. He had watched her light go out without ever doing anything to keep it safe.

"Is there a reason you keep taking trips with her whenever you know I can't leave LA?" She crossed her arms, standing up as her anger bubbled to the surface and her jealousy began to show. Accusations thrown were proof enough their relationship is crumbling, loss of trust filling the cracks left by their lack of communication and as time went by, they allowed the cracks to grow too big.

"No, but you're gonna find one." He grumbled and she only chuckled in disbelief.

"Nice. Turn it against me. Make me out to be the bad guy."

"Look, I can't keep doing this. Your unfounded jealousy is driving me nuts and if you can't trust me, why are we together?" He raised his voice but kept his cool, noticing her arms fall at her sides. It’s exactly what she always feared…he’d find a reason to cast her aside. All she could think is when did he last cry because she was hurt, or come running because he thought she needed help? He used to be so attentive and she understood when he needed to be cared for after his loss but he never really cared for her after that. She became the one making efforts to heal him while her own heart and mind were breaking in the process.

"Are you ending this? Leaving me?" She stumbled over her words as her heartbreak sounded like an explosion inside, making her legs weak.

"I'm saying I need a break. To think. To remind myself why we fell in love in the first place. You were supposed to be the one who stood by me forever and instead you are so mentally fragile that you can't believe in me against the smallest of whispers. But I stand by my offer. I'll send you a ticked if you want one."

Looking back at it now, Ethan knew it was mostly his own insecurities and depression talking and he hung around Kristina so much at first because he felt like that's the only time Y/N shows she cares for him. He had no idea he'd fuck up so bad. He had no idea he was breaking her to the point of no return and that he’d lose her forever.

"I know. But say the word and I'll leave her. We can try again. We can be what we should have been back then!" The way he talks is through his entire body, using his hands, facial expressions, every tool he can use to convince her, make her fall for him again.

"Like the tickets you promised to send me back then? The ones I never got?" And then it dawned on Ethan. Grayson told him he'd handle it. He sabotaged them.

“I asked Grayson to do it…I thought you had them and just didn’t want to come.” Ethan leaned back on the wall for support, wondering why his brother would ever do that to him when he knew Y/N was his sun back then. And even after.

“Right. Nice excuse there.”

“I’m not lying!” Ethan exclaims, shaking his head. “I’m not even sure where he is, but when I find him, I’ll kick his ass before finding out who’s the poor sap that let him impregnate her.” Ethan’s jaw clenches as he takes a step toward Y/N who reacted on instinct when she stepped back, her eyes relaying uncertainty she feels and the slightest bit of fear once she feels the alcohol on his breath.

“Just stay there.” She’s shaky, her mind running with a thousand worries and none of them are giving her room to breathe. Placing a hand over her lower abdomen, she turns her body sideways to protect her unborn child. She didn’t think he’d hurt her in any way, but she didn’t know him as well as she used to and alcohol was never a peaceful companion.

“I just want to hold you.” Ethan croaks, stepping closer when Grayson finally shows up.

“Stay away from her.” Getting in between them, Grayson shields Y/N from Ethan, holding Ethan’s gaze long enough to allow her to slip aside and take a deep breath. While he’s still dripping wet with nothing but a towel hanging low on his hips, Grayson stood proudly before his girl.

“You’re here?” Ethan chuckles, but then his smile is erased when he takes a good look at them both. “You’re here.” He repeats, realizing the horrifying truth he guessed before but never quite believed it.

“Did you…did you impregnate the love of my life?” Eerily quiet, his tone is sharp and voice low, deep and rumbling as his anger clouds his vision.

“You mean the love of my life? You married your girl, Y/N’s always been mine. You took her from me and I wasted ten years of my life watching you take her heart before breaking it. I won’t ever hurt her like you did. Now get out and come talk to me when you’re sober.”

Nostrils flared, Ethan nods, gnawing at his bottom lip as he glances at Y/N and walks back. Hands in his pockets, he chuckles lowly before walking out, leaving the pair alone.

“Are you okay?” Grayson’s concerned voice quickly makes its way to her heart, allowing it to beat at a peaceful pace, once again with the one she loves.

“Yeah.” She manages before hugging him, hiding her face in his chest with new cloud of doubt in her mind…did Grayson really sabotage them?

Their flight was almost twelve hours later, missing the one she wanted to catch while they cuddled to calm down. It was mainly for her benefit and Grayson was happy to oblige.

She was quiet. When Grayson picked up their suitcase, she simply pecked his cheek as a thank you. When Grayson had to swerve to avoid a crash, wide-eyed as he asked her if she's okay, she placed her hand on his knee and nodded. When they sat for hours during their flight, she stared through the window and Grayson felt the lump in his throat grow with every passing minute.

Despite what she may think, Grayson heard a good deal of the conversation she held with his brother...the man she used to whisper I love you before him. Knowing Ethan wants her back and is willing to blow his entire marriage too had made Grayson revert back to the angry, doubtful, hesitant man he was when he first lost her to his brother and it hurt...it hurt that she chose Ethan who had his face but a vastly different personality. Grayson felt inadequate, unworthy, unlovable and to feel that way again, ten years later and when she's pregnant with HIS child? It was worse than before. Insufferable, absolutely soul-aching and tiresome.

Did she regret it now? Regret him and their unborn child? Did she hate him for not sending those tickets? Was she wondering what her life would be like if he had sent them?

Whether he wanted to or not, he certainly thought about it. Imagining them making up, staying together and getting married, his Y/N having his twin's children? It made him sick to his stomach. And frightened of the future, of the simmering fire in her mind as it uncovers every memory she has from that time.

And she did. For a moment, the thought of Ethan crossed her mind but she didn't linger too long on what could have been, rather on why. She wished she knew why Grayson did what he did back then and if he didn't intervene, would Ethan be sitting next to her instead? Maybe...but he isn't and she should ask Grayson for the truth but she knows he's insecure about her past with Ethan, even if he doesn't voice those concerns.

So, instead of rehashing the past, she gave herself time to get over it in order to protect Grayson from any hurt. She told him she loves him, she's carrying his child - isn't that enough to prove he's the one she wants?

"It's going to be fine." Grayson places his palm over the back of her hand that laid flat on her thigh. He could tell she's worried as her gaze fixed on the house he grew up in, overwhelmed with possible scrutiny she may face. He wouldn't let her take the heat.

Interlocking their fingers, he saw her lips quiver momentarily before she pressed them together, turning back to him with a reluctant nod.

"I know." Her heavenly voice eased his own anxiety, making him smile in return before their hands parted and they left the car.

And as they move inside, Grayson placed his hand on the small of her back, looking at her with admiration. He should be worried, but he can't find it in him to regret anything that happened between them in the past five months. The only thing he regrets is the time wasted they could have spent together.

However, the moment they walk in, their worry is replaced by utter surprise when they're met with a rather happy little group.

"Congratulations!"

Lisa, Cameron and her husband, Kristina and...Ethan, all clapped as Grayson and Y/N half embraced one another, Grayson's grip stronger to make sure she doesn't fall back in shock. He looks to Ethan for a moment, wondering how he got there so fast but decides to keep quiet. It's the best thing for everyone.

"Oh, wow!" Y/N exclaims, struggling to draw a proper breath as everyone cheers and though it's meant to ease her mind, it made her more confused.

"You know?" Grayson turns to his mother who nods, laughing.

"Since the wedding. We saw you two sneaking around!"

Cheeks red and eyes set on the floor, Y/N smiles awkwardly, finding it's even worse when they seem to be so accepting, especially after Ethan came to her door not too long ago, with an offer to leave his wife for her and now he had an arm around his wife's waist.

"Don't be so shy, you're giving me my first grandchild! Plus, you've been a part of the family for so long that I'm happy we are actually family!"

Going through motions, that's how it felt. Everyone's hugging her, kissing her, touching her stomach and all she can focus on is the unrelenting, piercing gaze of her former boyfriend. She'd glance around the room, simply to see if she's the only one that notices, but no one else picked up on the dynamic between her and Ethan. Even Grayson seemed oblivious.

"So, everyone is going off to bed." Grayson whispers in her ear, kissing her neck delicately as she smiles, leaning back into him.

"So, what do you suggest we do?" She raises an eyebrow, craning her neck to peck his Adam's apple, relinquishing control as he sways them lightly to the beat of their hearts.

"Maybe you could talk to me?" Ethan startles them, making their little moment end prematurely when Grayson really wanted to slow dance with her where he once saw his parents do the same. He thought it would be romantic, but he found himself ticked off instead.

"You need to stay in your lane, bro." Grayson warns, his face dark as he meets Ethan's longing stare - the one he wore since he met Y/N and he knew Ethan could see he was suffering yet he never cared, so why should he?

"I'll talk to you." Y/N, however, had a different idea. Perhaps it was time to talk, calmly without any bitterness inside her.

"You don't have to." Grayson reminds her, but she just nods, silent again as her lips touch upon his, barely long enough for him to feel anything before she walked away, outside where he feared he might lose her again.

He swore he'd never stand by and watch her walk away with Ethan or any other man again, but he found himself doing it once more.

"So, I'm not going to be the enemy forever?" Ethan leaned on the wall, his eyes alight with the lamp above his head.

"I'm here to close that chapter of our lives." She folds her arms over her chest, absentmindedly tapping her foot against the wet ground beneath her feet.

"Close? So it was open all this time?" Ethan's voice beckons her to respond, his regrets written on his face and he couldn't hide it at all. If he knew he had a chance at any point in time, he'd have taken it.

"Until I saw you get married, I had trouble letting you go." Y/N admits, looking back at the house and up at the room she and Grayson are meant to share is already illuminated by the lamp beside the bed.

"But not anymore. I love Grayson and I think a small part of me always did." Smiling, she looks back at Ethan who swallowed thickly, nodding with a heavy heart.

"Was any of it real? Did you ever love me or was I always the wrong brother? The one you settled for? Why does this hurt so much?" The way he bows his head, unable to look her in the eye is breaking her heart because once upon a time, Ethan really was her prince charming. It hurts to see him so consumed with the past they left behind long ago - the past that consumed her too, up until Grayson saved her from it.

"Because it was real. You stole my heart when I least expected it." The joy in her voice when she spoke about them made his heart break further and even the light her eyes held when she remembered the time he had made her so incredibly happy made him smile despite the pain.

"I loved you for a really long time, Ethan, but I can't lie and say that the main reason why I didn't say yes to you when you first asked me on a date wasn't Grayson. I buried those feelings for years and I fell in love with your beautiful soul and brilliant mind but you also broke my heart and damaged my ability to trust people and love. You found a really good woman, E. Maybe it's time you appreciate her and let me go." Pressing her lips together, she let out a heavy sigh as he kept his gaze steady on her, his eyes sparing no tears as they fall freely.

"Okay? You can love me and still let me go. Because I let you go. For good." And with that, she took a step back, walking back to the house and with every step she felt lighter, happier, while Ethan remained behind.

"You can get out now." Ethan spoke up once she entered the house, looking up at the roof where he heard his brother hiding. He always listened in to people talking as a kid, well...they did it together. He had a feeling Grayson wouldn't miss this talk.

Looking down, Grayson rolls his eyes, slowly moving himself down. He had to be careful or Y/N would kill him if he hurt his back. Maybe she'd kill him for being there at all. It occured to him she may see it as his lack of trust in her, but it was more about his fear of not being enough for her...thank maybe Ethan was still a fresh wound for her.

"You won. She chose you." Ethan says, kicking a rock with his hands in the front pockets of his sweatpants.

"I didn't doubt she would." Grayson shrugs, but he was never a good liar. Ethan could always read him.

"Riiight. Look, I'm sorry. I won't be doing any stupid shit anymore. I had my chance and I blew it and...Looking back at it, I was the one who stole her from you. Deep down, I knew you loved her but a part of me didn't care because I loved her too. I convinced myself she didn't feel the same for you but you two were always closer. She was so much like me, but she always found common ground with you. You made her laugh like I never could and if she's gotta be with someone else, I'm glad it's you."

Finally at peace, Grayson and Ethan parted ways that night as brothers once more. Ethan made his way to his wife, promising himself to show her love she deserves and Grayson? He went to his soulmate with arms wide open, a promise to be the best father he can be and if she allows, husband as well.

"How are you?" He whispers, his hand back on her stomach as she laid on her back beside him.

"Happy." She hums, letting out a heavy sigh.

"But?" Grayson knew that sigh and he knew her, she was holding out on him.

"I finally cut ties with Ethan, but I can't help myself...why didn't you send those tickets?" Looking up at him, she pondered if he'd tell her the truth but he had no reason to lie now, did he?

"Because he told me to send you tickets the same day I saw him kiss her for the first time. I didn't want you to come there and pick up on their shit only to be stuck in Australia for the holidays." Kissing her forehead, Grayson drew a shuddered breath.

"And maybe because I worried he'd find a way to convince you to forgive and forget." But Y/N felt this meant more. Did he think she'd do that this night too?

"You know I love you? Since you asked me to cook for you in return for a watch! And this...you and me and this miracle we made...it's everything." Turning to her side, she splayed her palm on his chest, over his heart.

"You gave me your heart Grayson and I plan to keep it safe for as long as I live."

"Marry me then."

He didn't expect her to agree, not ever let alone when he asked so spontaneously without a ring or a big romantic gesture. Her nails weren't done anyway to show off the ring as most girls seemed to like.

"Yes!" But she did. Enthusiastically so. Her lips smashed against his instantly, turning his brain to mush.

But that night was only the beginning of their relationship.

While their families wanted a big wedding, planning everything because Y/N only wanted the final word on the choices they make with an occasional “LET’S ELOPE” freak out, the pair spent time enjoying their love and the growing life inside Y/N.

"It's a girl." Y/N claimed, but Grayson didn't care as long as the baby is healthy. Ever since the first ultrasound when he heard a heartbeat, Grayson was impatient to meet the baby and became stubbornly overbearing with Y/N.

She didn’t mind…too much. She’d catch him staring at her as her belly grew, noticing how in awe he is of her, unaware he’s wondering how one so fragile and tiny could grow a human inside and actually bring it into the world. He wasn’t the type to sit back and let her deal with it – he got involved. Grayson listened to audio books on pregnancy, delivery and raising children every day while he built some of the things he wanted for the nursery, always when she was asleep.

They agreed to raise their family in Los Angeles, mainly because Grayson knows Y/N hates snow and the LA climate appealed to her more. But then again, he insisted he should have free reign on the nursery, building everything he can to make it special for their child.

With every passing month, he’d measure Y/N’s belly and note it, downloading an application that helped him keep up with the development.

“Sigh.”

“Did you just say sigh out loud?” Grayson couldn’t help but chuckle at his fiancé, smitten by her even though she was increasingly complaining of her looks – something he made sure to stop with unlimited compliments every day, loving her even when she was terrorizing him with pregnancy cravings and sleepless nights that came with her newly developed snoring problem. Grayson truly adored every part of this pregnancy, especially how horny she became.

“I’m bored.” Sheepishly, she puts her leg over Grayson’s, his hand reacting on instinct as it rubs up and down her calf, lightly massaging her aching muscles.

“The doctor told you to rest. So, you’ll do just that and I’ll be your slave as promised.” Grayson tried to reason with her so many times before, but every time he turned his back on her he’d find her up and about. She is stubborn, but very much ready to have the baby they decided not to find out the sex of.

“I know! But I want to take a walk and get ice cream and have reckless, rough sex without this huge stomach making it impossible. And I want a drink…so bad…but I want to breastfeed too! Oh, God, I didn’t think this through.” Hiding her face in the pillow…as much as she could without turning over on her stomach, Y/N cried out of pure frustration while Grayson rubbed her back and held her close.

Hormones in the last trimester weren’t as helpful as they were in the first two. She cried ten times a day, mostly over the silliest things like “The sun is so pretty” or “That shirt fits you so well” and even “Why do I have to pee again”. Regardless how silly it was, he’d never tell her. Her body is undergoing massive changes and all because she’s going to give him the greatest gift of all – a chance to be a father and start a family, to be a man he wanted to be.

But when her water broke just a couple of days later, neither of them were quite ready for it. While Grayson ran around the house, gathering things she’d need in the hospital he made a Pinterest board about, Y/N was trying to remind herself why she did this in the first place.

It’s all fun and games until the pain starts to set in.

“Oh, we should have gotten a surrogate.” She whined as he helped her in the car, thanking his lucky stars he had the keys at hand and didn’t forget them like Ethan teased him he would.

“You’re doing great, love!” He wanted to be calm and supportive, but even Grayson was screaming in a state of panic and he’d laugh if he didn’t find it quite tragic how he’s acting like a scared teen when he’s almost thirty.

“DON’T SCREAM AT ME!” However, he had to reel it in when she started to cry again, realizing he’s scaring her more. But as they got to the hospital and Y/N went straight to the delivery room, Grayson held her hand all the way through – constantly reminding her to breathe so the child could breathe too, guiding her as much as he could between the hand crushing squeezes she’d administer with every push.

Grayson felt like every fiber of his being was vibrating with anticipation. Adrenaline was coursing through his veins. His hands trembled and his eyes were wide. The moment he heard that first cry was also the moment he felt his life had begun and he never felt such gratitude to the universe that gave him Y/N, his soulmate, who was gracious enough to give him the love of his life. Or two other he’d get in the next four years – their rainbow babies - twins, a boy and a girl.

“You were right. It’s a girl.”

This world is quite astonishing, when you claw your way out of the mire of dysfunction. When you first look over the horizon and see nature without the haze of discontent and petulance. Without any filter, with the naked eye and mind open to the beauty of this world, amazement comes. When you see those simple things, when you can fall in love with the simplest things, everything gets so much better. The larger things become almost overwhelming, the sense of love so much stronger. It is then you realize that before you lived a half-life, greyed and without the warmth each human is born with.

Tags: @mendesficsxbombay​ @beinscorpio​ @peacedolantwins​ @godlydolans​ @dolandolll​ @heyits-claire​ @ethanhes​

Their Rainbow Baby - deleted scene

[buckybarnesthehotshot]

quarantine (steve rogers x reader oneshot)

main masterlist

Summary: y/n and steve are left to quarantine together in their house despite their broken marriage. will being stuck together bring them together or drive them apart?

word count: 2303

warnings: coronavirus, angst, mentions of a near-fatal accident, OOC Steve

A/N: I really wanted to do an angsty quarantine fic with the subtext of holding on to your loved ones especially now that we can’t be sure how much time we have left with each other 

       It’s been four years sine Steve Rogers and Y/N L/N officially tied the knot in a small ceremony held with their closest friends. The h/c-haired girl kept memories of the day near her heart for it was the most important day of her life. It was the day she promised herself to the love of her life. The day she was finally content with life.

       Unfortunately, her days of happiness and contentment were numbered. Sooner enough, her days of happiness were stolen from her when a near-fatal lab accident took place, leaving the girl bedridden for months. Of course, her husband didn’t know about the accident. How could he when he was out on a mission taking up the best of six months.

       When Steve returned from the mission, Y/N didn’t dare tell him about the accident in fear of making him view her as weak; an incompatible partner to the great Captain America. Hell, she didn’t tell him about their missed wedding anniversary either in fear of making Steve feel suffocated in their marriage. She didn’t want him to feel bad about himself.

       However, one day Y/N found herself bringing up the topic of not working missions as often as he did. Y/N didn’t expect the night to take the turn it did, but everything fell apart more after that night.

       Y/N only wanted what was best for their relationship, but Steve was far too blinded by duty to see her intentions. He was stubborn and he felt as though he owed the world his life. Like he was supposed to save every citizen in trouble.

       Y/N didn’t want him to stop. She just wanted him to take some time off for her, but it was those intentions that left her alone in their shared king-sized bed, sobbing over the fact that she was to blame for the situation she put them in. After that night, she swore to herself never to bring up missions to Steve anymore.

       The night after their argument, the pair found themselves drifting apart. Y/N felt as though she was living with the ghost; they shared a bed yet they never came in contact with each other. Y/N felt herself getting cold at night and longing for nothing but the feeling of her husband’s arms around her as he lulled her to sleep.

       When the government announced a country-wide state of lockdown, Y/N felt her heart break over again. This time, she would be forced to see Steve on a daily basis as a reminder of her failures as a wife. She wanted the pandemic to magically end, she didn’t’ want to be constantly reminded of her broken marriage she could never seem to bring herself to end.

       “Hey, Tony, do you think there’s a chance I can relocate even with this whole pandemic? I don’t think I could cope with having to stay here for the next few months,” Y/N overheard Steve talking into his phone. She sighed; of course, he wanted to leave the house just 12 hours after he was obligated to stay indoors with her.

       After that day, Y/N threw herself more and more into work just to actively avoid having to be in Steve’s presence. She even moved her things out their shared bedroom and into the guest bedroom down the hall, allowing Steve his own space.

       She followed through with her usual routines as though Steve wasn’t in the same house with her. She relied on security cameras to monitor whether or not the coast was clear of Steve and she could leave the room to grab a snack. Besides that, she rarely ever left the guest room.

       After two weeks of the same old routine, a horrid stench ran through the house. It was almost as though something was burning. The girl tore herself from her work desk and ran out the bedroom to see a thick cloud of gray smoke coming from the house’s kitchen which resulted in her coughing madly as the thick smoke invaded her lungs.

       “Damn it!” a familiar voice yelled out. Y/N ran into the kitchen, a cold red fire extinguisher in hand as she targeted the flames burning up on their stove, threatening to burn everything it came into contact with. When the substances found their way to each other, Y/N felt her lungs open up; she was finally able to breathe again.

       “What the fuck did you do to my kitchen!” the h/c-haired girl yelled in frustration upon seeing Steve standing over the stove covered in fire extinguisher fluid.

        “Your kitchen? I think you mean our kitchen,” Steve insisted, his brows furrowing at Y/N’s words.

        “No. You started a fucking kitchen fire; I think it’s fair you stay out of the kitchen! I was trying to get some fucking work done until your stupid antics had to get in the fucking way of that too!” the girl screamed at him, pulling at her h/c hair furiously.

       Of course, there was still a part of her that cared for Steve. How could she not? He was her husband. However, just like the cloud of smoke closed off her lungs, it also brought out her frustrations with the man. Could he at least be more considerate?

       “What the hell’s so important with your work, eh? Nothing you’ve done has been relevant to anything. Not since you left S.H.I.E.L.D without even letting me know!” Steve barked at the girl, the tone of his voice earning a flinch from the girl. They’ve had arguments, yes, but Steve never raised his voice at her like he was currently doing.

        “You know what? I’m glad I fucking left. I was so fucking happy I didn’t have to see your face as much as I already did at home, Rogers! Fuck you, asshole. You have no idea what I fucking went through before I had to leave my dream job,” the e/c-eyed girl scolded him before bolting out the kitchen and back to the guest room.

       The moment the door slammed behind her, she broke down in tears. Did he really tie her worth to what job she was doing? Did his views of her lessen the day she left S.H.I.E.L.D without warning? Did he really think everything she’d done after her time with S.H.I.E.L.D was irrelevant?

       She struggled to catch her breath as she let the salty tears fall down her cheek with her crumbling relationship with Steve Rogers weighing heavy on her chest as she sobbed.

       Steve stood outside her bedroom door, unable to find his words. He heard every sob wracking through her body. He so desperately wanted to tell her he was sorry and tell her everything was going to be okay. He wanted to whisper sweet nothings into her ear as he finally held her in his arms as he used to.

       Except he couldn’t. Not when he was the reason for her tears. He sat behind her door in regret. He felt how they drifted away yet he never made an effort to fix the bridge between them, only letting it wither and burn away slowly.

       His mind wandered to the night she asked him to stop taking long missions. “It’s for the sake of our relationship,” she’d told him then. But of course, the world needed him, didn’t they?

         The echoes of her words weighed heavy on his heart. She was right. That night changed everything. It was the first night they spent apart, but it was never the last. Not anymore.

       His knees gave out, letting him drop for the floor. He sighed, letting a lone tear run down his cheek knowing he made one of the biggest mistakes of his life.

       After that day, Y/N went on with her usual routine, only inn a more cautious manner especially when it came to her leaving the room to avoid Steve. She left the room less and less as the days went by, only leaving to bring bulks of food into her room to last her days until she made her next trip to the kitchen.

       Well, that had been her routine until she found the kitchen fridge and the pantry empty. She cursed herself out knowing it would be the first time she went grocery shopping since the government announced the lockdown.

       She threw on a pair of jeans and a t-shirt as she adjusted the mask on her face while reaching for the doorknob, only stopping when she heard the sound of Steve clearing his throat from behind her. She spun around and there he was in all his glory. Y/N didn’t know how it was possible, but he looked worse compared to when he saw her last. The bags under his eyes became more prominent as his cheeks looked sullen as though he hadn’t eaten in a while.

       But his eyes? They were a whole different story. The usually glowing blue orbs, filled with life, were dull and red as though he’d been bawling his eyes out for weeks.

       “What do you want?” she rolled her eyes, clearly annoyed at the man standing in front of her. He was silent for a moment then shifting awkwardly before finally speaking.

       “Where are you going, doll? You could get sick,” he spoke gingerly, his voice soft and holding no negative intent against her as he even flashed her a soft smile as he spoke.

       “Stop acting like you’re actually concerned for my health,” the girl frowned, shaking her head in denial as she was unable to accept seeing this side of her husband then having him taken away from her again. She didn’t want to deal with Steve or his façade.

       “I care about you, Y/N. You’re my wife. Even after everything that’s come between us, I could never stop caring for you,” he sighed approaching her slowly. He awkwardly cupped her cheek in his hands only to frown when she averted eye contact. He could see a lone tear forming in her eye and he frowned, wiping it away with his thumb.

       “I’m going to the grocery,” she deadpanned, pulling herself away from him before walking out the front door and slamming it behind her.

       Steve stood there dumbfounded, his eyes glossing over with tears as his mind replayed the scene of her pulling away from him and walking out the door. He knew he messed up. He knew he broke her.

       He was left alone for the first time in their home to wander around. He just found his way to your room—well, at least what once was the guest room—and he saw the framed picture on the nightstand. It was a picture of them both from their wedding day. He could remember how radiant and happy she looked that day. He would kill to see her like that again.

       A good two hours passed before he heard the sound of the door unlocking. He rushed to the living room to see his wife dragging in the groceries, looking weaker than she did when she left. It seemed as though she was sick.

       She dropped the bags of groceries onto the wooden planks of the floor as she broke out in a fit of heavy coughing. Steve rushed to her side, kneeling beside her.

       “Doll, you’ll be okay. Breathe, please,” Steve begged, holding her close to him. He knew he should’ve been keeping his distance from her considering the circumstances, but he hated seeing her suffer.

       She nodded as she gasped deeply for breath. Steve frowned at the state of struggle she was going through. He was confused. It was impossible for symptoms to be showing this early, right?

       Steve did what he knew the best thing was to do and he contacted Tony Stark. A few grueling seconds later, the billionaire answered the phone.

       “Stark, I think Y/N has the virus,” he spoke shakily into the phone as Y/N was slowly stabilizing her breathing pace.

        “When did she leave the house, Steve? You shouldn’t have let her leave! Not with her condition!” Tony rambled as Y/N’s lab accident struck his mind.

       “She left the house earli—wait what condition?” Steve panicked, only now being struck with the news of his wife’s condition.

       “Her immune system? It’s shit and it’s always been that way since the lab accident. Didn’t she tell you?” Tony questioned in shock, briefly explaining why Y/N shouldn’t have been allowed to leave the house in the first place.

       “She didn’t! What do I do now?” Steve spoke frantically to the phone in fear of losing his dear wife.

       “Take her to her lab. She has a regenerative chamber there and it should be enough to fight off the virus for now,” Tony commanded, confusing Steve.

       “She doesn’t have a lab!” Steve panicked as he already began to pick up his wife’s frail figure, finding somewhere to let her rest.

       “Check the basement! Hurry, please. I don’t want to lose my friend. I’ll be on my way,” Tony begged as Steve rushed to get Y/N into the basement, not even stopping in shock when he saw the state their basement was in. It looked like another S.H.I.E.L.D base just hidden beneath their home.

       Steve rushed her into a room which looked strikingly like her old S.H.I.E.L.D lab as he found the regeneration chamber Tony spoke of. He set her inside and let out a sigh of relief as he watched her breathing normalize as she flashed him a grateful smile.

       “I’m sorry, doll. After all this, we’ll fix everything between us. I can’t lose you,” he whispered, watching Y/N finally relax in the chamber as a breath of fresh air entered her lungs. He swore to himself to make it his personal mission to fix everything between them. He couldn’t lose her in any way.

[harleyfields]

Some Personal MFM Lore

Mid-Fight Masses has a lot of lore to it, so me being me I’ve made a bunch of personal lore to add to and go with it!

Might update this every so often since I love going wild with things like this and my brain is crammed full of this kinda stuff and I now realize this is more like headcannons rather than actual lore... eh w/e, who cares.

Enjoy what my minds come up with so far down below!

Ruv and Sarv aren't married, per say, but by all means are and tend to act like a married couple, thus making Selever able to leave the Nothing World and exist in their universe. Rasazy however was left behind as a safety measure. She still is able to keep in contact with everyone via her magic so things arent all that bad I suppose.

Selever is also aged up to 18 now, as opposed to his canon age of 15 and lives on a college campus (oddly the same one Boyfriend goes to and Ol' Mate Senny teaches at). He still is however a prick and a total spazz so nothings changed all that much, Aldryx still hates him.

Everyone knows Sarv isn't an actual nun, its the biggest open secret in the town. Sarv herself knows that but pays no attention to it, likely because she's just used to it by now.

Unless you're a good friend of his or his "wife", don't expect Ruv to be all that talkative. Even when he does talk though, good luck trying to understand it sometimes under his thick blanket of a Russian accent (that's somehow stronger than Tabi's if you can believe it). [Sidenote 1: Tabi is human in this universe (he always was, he's just now visible) and commonly gets mistaken for Senny due to his hair and overall figure.] [Sidenote 2: Ruv’s voice is quiet for the most part and only becomes the boomy, “room shaking” one everyone knows him for when he either starts yelling, screaming or getting angry so like Whitty, don’t piss him off.]

While he won't tell you this personally, Ruv is actually a really good singer, with a voice that sounds somewhere inbetween brakence, Bon Iver & the late Garrett Lockheart (aka i_o). His screams however sound very deep and guttural, almost primal and feral even. Sarv is also a really good singer aswell, with a voice that sounds like Kellin Quinn or Hayley Williams, but also powerful like Amy Lee or Zola Jesus, all depending on the song of course. [Sidenote: Ruv’s go-to song (most of the time anyways) is The Easy Way by Code Orange, Sarv’s go-to song is Gravity Of Love by Enigma, however on Ruv’s “bad days”, she sings You Know Where To Find Me by Imogen Heap instead, together their go-to is Annihilation by Lights and the aforementioned i_o.]

[18/06 Updates]

Ruv and Pico are really good friends due to having the same “anti-authority” ideals and while Sarv isn’t the biggest fan of Pico, she respects their friendship enough to the point where she doesn’t butt into their conversations or misadventures. [A/N: I find the fact I made Pico anti-authority somewhat ironic since I follow the fancannon of his dad being Tankman, who’s, ya’ know, a Sergeant.]

While he probably doesn’t need to as he’s plenty strong enough already, Ruv works out and tries to do it at least once to twice a day, he even taught Whitty his routine as he was curious about it (like he needs it too). [Sidenote: while Ruv's routine is mostly his, parts of it are from Aldryx, who at times doubles as his personal trainer.]

Consider his upbringing, it should come as no surprise that Ruv isn’t afraid of anything, not even death (which he’s even laughed in the face of a few times) or “Gospel” Sarv (which he’s nicknamed Luci just to annoy her), it fact does the opposite.

The two sleep in the same bed, no divider or barrier between them. Their individual dreams range all of the place and usually extremely vivid, to the point where some might even be nightmares in disguise.

Both know sign-language and use to communicate with each other, either when words fail or during mass. Ruv uses it more than Sarv, likely out of habit and since his English is somewhat lacking at times. He also tends to default to speaking Russian because of this, sometimes leaving Sarv a bit confused.

[come-on-shitty-boys]

// the king. oikawa tooru //

Warnings: mentions of death

Word Count: 1.9K

Notes: This is the final installment of the mini-series “Soldier, Poet, King” influenced by the song of the same name by The Oh Hellos.  I might make a second part to this or maybe just do a little drabble to finish it off?? i have to add the header later because my dumbass F O R G O T to make one and i wanna sleep ;-;

“You’re a monster.”

“I don’t care if you’re my husband.  I want nothing to do with you.”

“I refuse to sleep in the same bed as you.”

“You’re just like your father, only caring when it benefits you.”

Each hateful comment that you threw at him pulled the air from his lungs.  He’d never been talked to in such a way, but now, hearing those words drip like poison from the lips of his own wife was like a punch to the stomach.  Tooru knew going into the marriage that things were going to be rocky, but he didn’t expect it to be this bad.  He thought that given a few weeks, he’d be able to win you over with his charming personality and the two of you could enjoy a happy life together, ruling over one of the most powerful nations.

But, that was so far from the truth.  Any attempts at physical contact were shoved away.  Conversation was cut short by a snide remark from you, leaving the young king to sit with all of the gnawing guilt in his chest.  Because, every word that you uttered, he believed to be true.  He was a monster.  Well, maybe not him specifically, but his family was a completely different story.

There was a reason that the Oikawa family was the head of such an immense kingdom, one that stretched farther than one could ever fathom.  A feared kingdom and one with riches beyond your wildest dreams.  An intimidating military with ranks upon ranks of well-equipped soldiers.  Yes, that was the Riviere Kingdom, a kingdom that burned fear into its people and a king to match that scary demeanor.  The king that had worn the crown before Tooru, his father, was as ruthless as they come, building the once small kingdom into the powerhouse that it is today.  Smaller surrounding nations were on their knees, begging to be spared, but they were only swallowed by the overwhelming military force before there was even a chance to protest.  And that was the game for years.  Smaller nations were taken in, allowing the nation to swell in size and power, allowing it to move on to even bigger targets.  It was monstrous.  

But, it wasn’t like Tooru could do anything about it now.  What did you want him to do?  Give everyone their land back and let them break off into their own countries again?  They would starve and die.  People had become reliant on the aid of the kingdom, so who was he to just whisk that all away from them?  Everything was years in the past, he had barely been born when his father's rampage had reached its peak and he was only seven when the final obstacle was conquered, too young to think any ill of his father’s ways.

The Gledria Kingdom had been the goal from the very beginning.  It was the biggest and best, but late King Oikawa couldn’t have that, could he?  Tooru could remember that overwhelming swell of pride that his father carried as the royal family of the newly-fallen kingdom knelt before the king in defeat.  A king with weary eyes, dark circles and heavy wrinkles from years of stress, a queen with gentle features and lips that probably had the potential to carry the sweetest smile, and between them knelt a young girl, likely no older than the young prince himself.  Her eyes were puffy and there was a glisten of snot streaming from her nose, the fear evident in her body as she knelt there trembling.  

“I’d like to make a deal,” the fallen king states simply, his voice as commanding, steady, as if he was the one in charge.  “Your son, is he betrothed already?”

Tooru’s cheeks turned hot, the attention suddenly being turned to him.  “He’s not.”

“Then I would like to offer my daughter’s hand.  Before you refuse, I want you to think about what this could mean for you.  You are free of the burden of an even grander kingdom by letting us walk free and rebuild our home.  Not only that, we are now aligned with you, your majesty.  Our children will act as the peace treaty between our two kingdoms.”

It had been a tempting offer, one that was not refused.  And for ten years, the deal remained in tact.  The two lived in harmony, only engaging with one another when it was necessary.  But, things got boring and the death of King Oikawa was coming sooner rather than later.  It was his last mission.  Put an end to the Gledria Kingdom.

Tooru could still remember the look on your face when you were dragged into the castle on that fateful day.  You had been so eerily easy.  There were no tears, no pain, just emptiness hidden behind those deep eyes.  Your dress had been tattered, hair had been matted and tangled.  You looked like some kind of creature that Prince Tooru had only read about.  He could do nothing but watch as the handmaids took you away to clean the blood of your people off of your shell of a body.

Even now, years after the fall of your home, there was still hate and bitterness, but Tooru couldn’t even blame you.  On the night of your wedding, you had refused to speak to him, let alone consummate your marriage.  Shortly following the death of his father, when Prince Tooru was given his new title of King and you were crowned as his queen, there was nothing.  No words of celebration, no smiles were shared.  The tension in the air surrounding the young pair never dropped.  If you ever looked at him, it was only through narrowed eyes.  If you ever spoke to him, your words stung like a thousand wasps.  You were cold to him, refusing to even give him a chance, refusing to believe that he was not his father, refusing to believe that they were anything but the same.

The people noticed it in only a matter of months.  It was like the clouds had opened up and the sun was finally able to shine through.  After years of war, there was peace in the kingdom once again.  Aid was given to those who had lost everything and King Tooru was adament on purchasing his silks and fabrics from within the Riveire Kingdom to help support his people in an effort to get them back on their feet.  Festivals that had long since stopped from fear of the late king’s wrath, now filled the squares all over again.  From within the castle, there were nights where the merry cheers and laughter of people down in the village carried on the summer air as they rejoiced in a new sense of freedom that they hadn’t felt in a long time.  

And it was those nights that he was able to feel closest to you.  It wasn’t much, but every night that the music could be heard, he could find you on the balcony that extended from the bedroom that the two of you were meant to share.  Your hair would sway gently in the warm breeze, face aglow with moonlight, letting the night consume you in all of its beauty.  If he listened closely, he could hear you humming along to the tune of some song that he had heard you hum a million times, but would never tell him the name of.  Some nights, if he watched you long enough, Tooru could watch you slowly start to sway as you get lost in the song that echoed in your head.  

“We should go,” was all he had said to you.

It caught you off guard.  There was a sudden abruptness to his words, but the gentle tone that he always used when talking to you never left.  “What are you talking about?”

“A festival.  We should go sometime.  It could be fun, don’t you think?  Mother would never let me go when I was younger.  She thought commoners were filthy and when my father started his reign of terror, the festivals and parties stopped all together.”  Tooru leaned on the rail of the balcony a few feet away from you, giving you your space, while still being near you.  The fact that you didn’t immediately move away felt like a win in his book.  “Have you ever been to one?”

You simply nod.  You’re silent for a long time, he thinks the conversation is over until he sees your mouth open.  “We used to go all of the time.  If my father knew there was going to be a festival, he would take me.  We would dance and he’d lift me up and spin me around.  He would buy food and drinks for everyone there, so every single person could have a good time and not have to worry about expenditures.”  Tooru looked over at you as your words trailed off.  A soft smile graced your features.  It was the very first smile that he had ever seen from you, but it fell quickly.  “But that was before-”

“Yeah.  I know.”

“I really don’t think you do.  Do you really understand what your father did to us?  To every single kingdom that fell on their knees before him?  My people were slaughtered, Tooru.  I watched my parents die because your father betrayed them and you stand here and genuinely expect me to see you in a different light.  You may not be your father, but you’re still an Oikawa.  You carry all of that bloodshed on your shoulders now.  You could be the kindest king in the world, but nothing is going to reverse the past.”

“You’re right and I wish that there was something that I could do to fix everything.  If I could go back and stop him from doing what he did to your kingdom, I would do it in a heartbeat, but we didn’t know that it was coming either.  But, Y/N, we can’t keep living like this.  If you don’t want to love me, I can live with that, but I beg that you let me show you that I am more than just my father’s son.  I’m an Oikawa and that’s something that I can’t change, but I can change the feelings that come with hearing that name.  I wish nothing but the best for my people, our people, but that has to start here.”

“What are you saying?”

“Let me take you to one festival.  We can dance until your feet tire so much that I have to carry you home.  I’ll spin you around until you’re so dizzy that you can’t see straight.  We can eat and drink and laugh until your stomach hurts.  You don’t have to say yes, but I want to show you that I am King Oikawa Tooru and I am not the same person that my father was.  So, what do you say?  Will you do me the honor of being my dance partner for just one festival?”

[petersasteria]

Marriage - Haz Osterfield

Pairing: Single Dad!Haz x Single Mom!Reader

Requested? Nope.

HO Masterlist 

8.1k words holy shit sksks also, it’s my first time writing smut so pls don’t attack me :)

Join my sleepover!

* * * *

Ahh, marriage. Like other topics in society, marriage is debatable. There are people who want to get married and there are people who don't want to get married. There are ones who think that marriage is bullshit and of course, there are ones who think differently. A lot of people have different opinions on marriage and we don't even know who to believe. At this point in time, we should only believe ourselves. So that even if our own thoughts end up being wrong, at least we don't have to blame other people.

Marriage is... A LOT. It's a lot to take in, a lot to process, a lot to think about, and there are a lot of things about it that makes you overthink. So let's not blame the bride for going bridezilla except for when they're just naturally cruel... which happens in real life too.

Marriage dives into the topic of readiness and that's how our parents think. If you're not ready, DON'T. GET. MARRIED. Parents say that marriage is the biggest step in every relationship and it's not a joke. "It's a very adult thing." They said. Maybe they never realized it or maybe they did but they didn't want to admit it, but marriage is similar to having a baby. After all, both of which are HUGE steps in a relationship.

They're similar because no one's ever really, really ready to get married and have kids. Sure, other people would say that they're ready for such things, but once it happens they panic and realize that they're actually not ready. To keep it simple, no one's ready for any life event.

Marriage has evolved over the years. That's why our grandparents ask us when we're getting married despite only being 18 or in the early 20's. Because during their time, it was acceptable to get married at a young age. Now, it's considered crazy to get married at a young age. No one knows why it changed, how it changed, or who changed it; it kind of just did. Right now, people are getting married in their 30's or late 20's. Heck, some people get married a lot of times before they finally settle for the last one.

Some people don't want to get married and some do. Some people don't want to get married because they don't ever see themselves getting married and they simply don't believe in marriage. However, some people want to get married because it's the biggest chapter in anyone's life. It's the peak of one's relationship; the ultimate life goal.

If our parents think that we shouldn't get married if we're not ready and if our grandparents think that it's time to get married, what do children think of marriage? Children, especially little girls, find marriage fascinating and pretty and perfect. It's a special day and to be fair, they aren't wrong. It really is a special day. Children are easily fascinated with ribbons and silk that they don't see how difficult it is to plan the 'perfect' wedding, but they're a great distraction from all the stress.

Harrison thought marriage was a myth. Of course, he was a child back then when he thought of it. After all, his mother was a single parent so the topic of marriage wasn't present in their household. The first marriage he's ever been to was when he was 5 years old and that's because his mother's friend got married and he was the ring bearer.

His little 5 year old self didn't understand it before and as he grew up, he still never got it. Sure, he believed that when two people love each other, they'd eventually get married because that's the ultimate goal in life, right? It's not required, but most people think it's the ultimate life goal. But he never really saw himself getting down on one knee to propose. He never saw himself getting married in general. He didn't know why, but he just did.

Harrison never really believed in love which is confusing because he, in a way, believed in marriage. But that's because he witnessed his mother getting married to a man who loved her a lot and became a father figure to him. So maybe he was biased on that part.

Unfortunately for him, he got someone pregnant when he was 19. The girl didn't want anything to do with the baby, but for some reason, he wanted to keep it. So, they made an agreement. After she gives birth to the baby, they'll cut off all contact and forget it everything. So, that's what happened after she gave birth.

When she was permitted to leave the hospital, she and Harrison cut contact. She, of course, was able to move on with her life and she was able to forget everything. Harrison couldn't do that because the baby was with him. It wasn't just any baby, though. It was his son, Julian. Harrison swore to himself that he never believed in love, but as soon as his son was placed in his arms, he took it back.

Harrison thought he was similar to Jean Valjean from Les Miserables.

"It's the story of one who turned from hating, the man who only learned to love when you were in his keeping."

Harrison felt that lyric so much. Julian was his whole life. Did having a son at 19 make his life difficult? Yeah, it did. It didn't stop him from pursuing his dreams, though. His family was there to help him and Tom was there too like the good best friend that he is.

When Tom got his role for Spider-Man and Tom asked him to be his assistant, Harrison was sad that he had to leave little Julian behind. Julian was still a baby at that time. He FaceTimed him every night, though. Harrison was glad that Julian was having okay back home, but he missed his son dearly.

"Haz, he's fine. You don't have to worry all the time." His mum said to him one night. He didn't argue with that because mothers know best and Julian was safe with his mum, Julian's grandmother.

"So... ever thought of giving Julian a sibling?" Tom asked one day. Harrison stopped what he was doing and thought about it for a while, "Nope, I guess not. He's all I need, anyway. Julian's more than enough for me. Besides, some girls don't like guys who have kids. Nowadays, they like old men and I mean old men."

Tom shrugged, "Fair enough. 'M just saying, 's not too late to date someone. Maybe you'll find the one for you! I'm a decent wing man, you know?"

"Shut up, Tom."

"Geez, I was only trying to help."

Since then, Tom has been 'trying to help' him for years. Harrison went on a few dates, but all of them never progressed into second dates. It's always one date with one girl and then the girl leaves as soon as Harrison comes clean about having a son. Then it repeats. Right there and then, Harrison was sure he's given up on love. He's never been on a date since.

He was now 26 years old and he didn't mind being a single dad. Julian Osterfield was now 7 years old and everyday, he kept looking more and more like his father. Harrison was glad that Julian didn't get anything from his mother. Harrison forgot what she looked like and she wasn't relevant anymore, anyway. Harrison was thankful that Julian never asked about his mum or any grown up thing for that matter.

But that was about to change all thanks to Julian's teacher and Harry fucking Holland.

Harrison picked Julian up from school and Julian had a confused look on his face and not the usual cute smile he inherited from his father. Harrison frowned at the sight of his little one.

"Hey, buddy. What's wrong? Did anyone bully you?" Harrison asked. "You need to tell me if anyone's bullying you at school, so that I can talk to them and their parents."

Like most children, Harrison was bullied before and he didn't want his son to go through the same thing. Julian looked up at him and said, "No, I'm not getting bullied, daddy."

"Then, what's wrong?" Harrison said as he took his son's backpack and slung it over his shoulder. They walked hand in hand to the car and Julian spoke up again, "Daddy, what's marriage?"

'Oh shit.' Harrison thought as he tensed up at Julian's question. 'God, why?!'

"Um, why are you asking, buddy?" Harrison asked as he unlocked the car and put Julian's bag on the passenger seat.

"Ms. April told us that she's going away to get married and after that, she'll move to America with her husband. She told us we won't see her again. I like Ms. April!" Julian whined.

It was no surprise that Julian was sad. In fact, Harrison was sad too. Out of all the teachers Harrison met in every PTA Meeting he attended, Ms. April was the nicest and the friendliest and the most hands-on teacher that he knew. As an adult like Ms. April, he understood why she had to leave. She wanted to start a new life in America with her husband, but Julian wouldn't understand it yet.

"Well, marriage is what happens at church when two people love each other." Harrison said. He truly did his best to explain it to his 7 year old boy. "They become husband and wife. Your nana and grandpa are husband and wife. They got married." Harrison added as he helped Julian in the car.

"Are you married, daddy?" Julian asked. It was innocent question, but Harrison wanted the ground to swallow him whole. After all, he can't just say: "Sorry, Julian. I'm not married. I had sex with a woman I just met when I was 19 and then she told me she was pregnant a few weeks later. She didn't want to keep you but I wanted to. So we made an agreement that we'll cut off contact with her once you were born. I haven't seen her since. I love you, Jules. I'm sorry you had to find out this way."

That wasn't exactly ideal. That's something he would say when Julian was older.

"Nope." Harrison said. Julian furrowed his eyebrows at his dad as he watched his dad put the seat belt on him.

"Why aren't you married, daddy? Ms. April said that she needed to get married to have a baby." Julian wondered.

'Oh, fuck. Ms. April isn't my favorite person right now.' Harrison said to himself.

"Well, it's not really necessary to get married to have a baby." Harrison shrugged. He looked at Julian, "It's different for a lot of people. It's different for me. Besides, getting married is stressful." He kissed Julian's forehead before closing the door and jogging to the driver's seat.

"If it's stressful, why are people getting married?" Julian questioned as Harrison got settled in his seat.

"You ask a lot of questions." Harrison laughed. "Ask that question to your uncle Tom when we get home, okay?"

"Okay!" Julian grinned. Harrison pulled away from the parking lot and drove back to his shared him with Tom. The young actor asked him to move in when Julian was three years old.

"It's kind of lonely to be living there. Besides, I love the little guy. I want to see him whenever I can before I go away to film." Tom said.

"Are you sure you want me and Jules to move in with you? You could ask Harry." Harrison said.

"I already asked him and he's moving in too."

"There you go! You don't need me to move in." Harrison laughed.

"But you said you wanted to move out and you also said that your house was small for Jules to run around in. Mate, I'm just trying to help you. This could be your stepping stone in moving out, Haz! Think about it. The house is really big and it has 5 bedrooms with bathrooms already in each room. It'll be convenient for you and Julian. There's a huge backyard where Jules can play around and Monty can play there too with Tessa. There's a big kitchen and a dining area and a living room. It's perfect!" Tom gushed.

"It'll be lonely with just me and Harry in it. I asked Tuwaine, but he recently moved in with his girlfriend." Tom said. "So, will you move in? Harry and I can help you with Jules when you're off at work or something."

"Fine. Jules and I will move in." Harrison finally said. Tom grinned, "You won't regret it."

Harrison never did. Moving in with Tom and Harry was one of the best life decisions he’s ever made.

Harrison parked the car and grabbed Julian's bag from the passenger seat. "Can you remove the seat belt on your own?" Harrison asked as he turned to look at Julian.

"I'll try." Julian said. He stuck his tongue out in concentration and beamed when he figured it out. "Daddy, look! I took the seat belt with no help! I did it!"

"That's great, buddy! We'll order some pizza tonight to celebrate." Harrison grinned as he got out of the car and jogged around to the other side to help Julian get out of the car.

"Thanks, daddy." Julian said before running to the front door and shouting, "Uncle Tom, we're here!! Open the door please!!"

Julian doesn't really like knocking on the door. He said it hurt his hands. He didn't like to ring the doorbell either. For some reason, he despised the sound.

Tom quickly ran to the front door and smiled when he saw Julian, "Hey, kid! How was school?"

"Ms. April's getting married!" Julian said as he went inside and went straight to the couch and turned on the telly. Harrison followed and closed the door. Tom looked at Harrison and Harrison just nodded, "Yeah, she'll move to America after that."

"Damn, she was hot." Tom sighed.

"Thomas." Harrison glared at him.

"What? It's true!" Tom shrieked. Tom only met Ms. April once when Julian got into some sort of trouble. Harrison couldn't make it because he was out of the country. So, Tom went instead.

"By the way, I'm ordering pizza for dinner. Julian, do you want to tell uncle Tom what you did today?" Harrison smiled.

Julian sat up and turned around to face Tom and Harrison, "I removed the seat belt with no help today!"

"That's great! We'll also have fried chicken for dinner. Do you want that?" Tom asked.

"Yeah! Thank you!" Julian grinned before returning to his comfy position on the couch and watched what's on the telly which was The Amazing World of Gumball on Netflix for kids.

Dinner time came and Tom and Harrison decided that it was okay for them to eat their food in the living room. All three of them were sat on the couch with pizzas in hand as they watched Charlie and the Chocolate Factory.

Just as Julian was casually attempting to dance along with the Oompa Loompas, the front door opened signaling Harry's arrival. "We're in the living room, Harry! We have food!" Tom called out.

Harry practically ran to the living room with a big grin on his face. "Jules, can you pause it first?"

Julian paused the movie and all three of them turned to Harry. "What's up?" Harrison asked.

"Okay, I'll just say it." Harry chuckled. "I'M GETTING MARRIED!!!"

Tom choked on the chicken that he was chewing and Harrison helped him. Julian whined. Harry was too happy to care. When Tom calmed down, he looked at Harry, "You're getting married? Are you insane?! You're only 23! You've got a lot to look forward to. You said you'd travel the world and take pictures before you settle down."

"Well, I thought I'd do it with Cassie instead." Harry shrugged.

Harrison sighed, "Are you sure? You've only been together for, like, a month or so."

"Correction: we've been together for three months." Harry said and crossed his arms.

"Mhm, so what's the rush??" Tom shrieked. "Is she pregnant? Did you get her pregnant?" He hissed.

"No, Tom! Why are you so worked up about this? I thought you'd be happy!" Harry frowned.

"I just don't like how you're rushing into things, Harry. You're young. You should enjoy that and not rush into adulthood. Why can't you just wait for a year?" Tom said softly.

"I love her and she loves me. That's all that matters. Why should I wait if it's true love?" Harry said. Tom scoffed, "True love? Do you really believe in that? Harry, you're 23 not 7."

"Quit being so bitter! You're just jealous that I found the one I want to spend the rest of my life with." Harry rebutted.

"Can both of you calm down for a second?" Harrison asked nicely. He didn't want the two men arguing in front of his son.

"Uncle Harry, are you moving to America too?" Julian asked innocently. Harry looked at him in confusion and shook his head, "No. Why would you think that?"

"Ms. April is getting married too and she said she was moving to America after that." Julian said sadly. He'll really miss his favorite teacher.

"I won't move to America." Harry chuckled. "I'm staying here, but I'll live in a different house." Harry looked at Tom and sighed, "You don't have to approve of the wedding, but I'd really like your support and I really want you to be there by my side when it happens."

It took a while, but Tom soon warmed up to the idea of Harry getting married. Harry and Cassie originally thought that they'd plan it themselves, but with their jobs and schedule, it was difficult. Luckily, Tom had connections to get to you, the best wedding planner in London.

They went to your office and they were in awe of the place. "This whole place is like the one in 'Bride Wars' where Kate Hudson and Anne Hathaway settled the dates of their wedding." Cassie muttered under her breath. Funny she said that because your office was inspired by that place she mentioned.

Your secretary knocked on your door and you told him to come in. You looked up from your laptop and smiled at your secretary, James. "Thanks, James." You smiled and stood up to greet everyone. As soon as everyone was inside, James left and closed the door.

"I'll introduce myself. My name is Y/N Y/L/N-"

"The best wedding planner in London!" Tom said excitedly. You chuckled at his energy and nodded, "I guess you could say that. Anyway, which one of you reached out?"

Tom raised his hand and smiled. You laughed, "Okay, that explains your energy right now. Please take your seats and I want the lovely couple to sit in front of my desk."

All of you sat down and Harry and Cassie sat in front of you while Tom, Harrison, and Julian sat on the couch near the door.

"Hello! What're your names?" You asked nicely.

"I'm Harry. Harry Holland and this is my fiance, Cassie Dolores." Harry introduced. You grinned, "Well, I'm so honored to be your wedding planner! I heard that you've done some of the planning before? Is it alright if I check it out?"

"Of course! I brought it with me." Cassie handed you a transparent file case. You opened it and wordlessly skimmed through it.

The doors suddenly opened and your son walked in. "Mum! I'm bored. I want to go to the playground." Peter whined. You looked up and sighed, "Honey, I'm working right now."

Peter groaned and looked to his left. He smiled when he saw Julian. "Jules! What are you doing here?" Peter asked as he walked to his best friend.

"Hi Pete! My uncle Harry's getting married. He's over there." Julian pointed. Peter nodded and looked at you, "Mum, can I play with Jules at the playground?"

"Okay, but bring- I'm sorry, what're your names?" You turned to Tom and Harrison.

"I'm Harrison and this is Tom."

You turned to your son again and said, "Bring Tom and Harrison with you and your friend, okay?"

"Okay! Let's go Jules!" Peter ran out of your office with Julian, Tom, and Harrison trailing behind them. Peter led them to the back part of your office which had a playground. Peter ran to the swing set while Julian went to the slide. Tom and Harrison sat down on the bench and watched the kids.

"So, Y/N seems nice." Tom said. Harrison nodded, "Yeah. She was nice even if you acted weird around her."

"Well, I'm sorry for being excited." Tom rolled his eyes.

"How did you know about her, anyway?" Harrison asked.

"One of the costume designers of the movie I'm filming right now, got married last month and I saw their post on Instagram and Y/N was tagged in everything. So I checked out her account and her account was aesthetically pleasing and a lot of people seem to book her as their wedding planner a lot. I contacted the costume designer to ask about Y/N. Turns out, Y/N is her friend from grade school and I found out that it was difficult to book her. Bella, the costume designer, asked Y/N if we could book her. Thankfully, she and her son love Spider-Man and now we're here!" Tom explained.

Harrison laughed, "That's great. I can't believe Julian is friends with her son, though."

"Same here." Tom said. "Small world."

They continued to watch the kids and casually played with them until it was time to go. You walked them to the door and Peter was sad that his friend had to go.

"You'll see him at school tomorrow, Pete." You chuckled and kissed the top of his head. Harrison smiled and nodded, "If you want, Peter can sleepover."

You looked at him and said, "Really? I don't want him to be intruding anything."

"No, he won't be intruding anything! We love kids!" Tom interrupted. You nodded, "Okay, can he sleepover this weekend? Friday after school?"

"That works for me!" Harrison smiled. "I'm taking Julian to school on Friday. You can give me his things in the morning so that I can put it in Julian's room."

"That's such a great idea!" You smiled at him. "I'll see you on Friday morning then."

Friday morning arrived quickly and Harrison was waiting for you as he stood next to his parked car. You finally pulled up in front of the school and quickly got out to help Peter out.

"Okay, please behave in school and raise your hand if you know the answer. I love you!" You smiled and hugged Peter. You kissed his forehead before he ran inside the school. You got Peter's duffel bag and walked to where Harrison was.

"Hi Harrison!" You smiled. "Here's his duffel bag and he's allergic to eggs." You added. Harrison took the duffel bag from you and nodded, "Got it."

"Thank you so much for doing this. I really need to get my work done AND I need some alone time. I've never had alone time since I had Peter. I worked and studied non-stop. This is legit the first time I'll be home alone and I'm kind of excited. Is that wrong? Oh my god, I'm sorry for rambling." You laughed.

"No, it's alright." Harrison laughed with you. "It's not wrong to be excited for being alone, trust me. I get excited when I have time for myself too. All parents are like that."

"Oh, thank god." You sighed in relief. "This is really nice. I don't really do this often. Usually the maid brings him to school and picks him up. This is a nice change. You're my first friend at this school."

"I'm honored." Harrison smiled.

"Anyway, I have to go now. I have weddings to plan." You giggled. Harrison nodded, "Okay. Good luck!"

"Thanks. Is it okay to get your number?" You asked. Harrison was in shock but he nodded anyway. Both of you exchanged phones and put in each other's contact. Both of you got your phones back and you said, "Okay now, I can leave. Bye Harrison! Call me when anything happens."

"Of course! We'll take care of him." Harrison smiled at you as you walked back to your car. He waited for you to drive off before getting in his own car to drive home.

Hours later after picking up the kids, Harrison went to the kitchen to make snacks for the kids. Julian and Peter went to Julian's room and stayed there.

"Where's your mum?" Peter asked. Julian shrugged, "I don't know. I don't really ask. I kinda don't care. What about you? Where's your dad?"

"Mum said he left and never came back." Peter said. Julian watched his best friend with a frown on his face, "Oh, I'm sorry."

"It's okay." Peter took out his iPad and charger when Julian thought of a genius plan.

"Peter! I have a plan." Julian grinned. "We need uncle Tom's help for this one, though. You stay here and I'll call him." Before Peter could say anything, Julian ran out of the room and went to Tom's room.

"Uncle Tom! I need your help." Julian said loudly. Tom opened the door and opened his mouth to say something but Julian immediately dragged him to his room. Julian and Tom went in the room and Julian locked it.

"Hello Mr. Tom Holland!" Peter greeted politely with a smile. Tom chuckled, "Just call me 'Tom'. 'Mr. Tom Holland' is too formal and I'm not THAT old. Anyway, why am I here Jules?"

"I have a genius plan." Julian smiled innocently. Tom nodded for Julian to continue. "Peter doesn't have a dad and I don't have a mum. So, I thought that his mum and my dad could get together!"

Peter's eyes widened and he grinned, "That's a great idea! I never thought of that."

"That really is a brilliant plan! How can I help?" Tom asked with a chuckle. He never knew that Julian would be Harrison's matchmaker. And honestly? He loved it.

"I was thinking you could do it on your own? I'm only 7 years old, uncle Tom." Julian said.

"Yeah, so am I." Peter added softly. "I don't know if this would help, but my mum doesn't really like to go out a lot because she's tired. She loves to bake so she'll probably want to stay in on a date."

"That could work! Dad doesn't really like to go out." Julian said. "So that settles it: their first date will be Peter's house!"

"Since when do you boys know about dating?" Tom asked with a smirk. "You're too young for that."

"I used to help uncle Harry with his dates."

"What? Really?!" Tom said.

Julian chuckled, "How do you think he got Cassie? C'mon, Peter! I think the snacks are ready. Let's go before my dad burns them."

Julian and Peter ran out of the room to go to the kitchen and Tom just stayed there as he took in the information he got, "Harry's one sly son of a bitch."

Weeks later, Harrison found himself talking to you often. His heart skipped a beat whenever he received a message from you and his heart swelled whenever he called you. You felt the same way, of course. You smiled on your phone often and sometimes he would help you make your workload lighter and easier. He would also watch Peter when you can't attend to Peter's needs.

Harrison was your superhero.

You were a strong, independent woman and you didn't really need a man, but when life gives you a man who could stand by you and help you through stressful times, you needed to claim him. So, you gathered some courage and texted him. It was already late at night but you knew he was awake.

Y/N Hey Harrison! :)

Harrison Just call me Haz. What's up?

Y/N Are you busy tomorrow? It's my day off

Harrison I'm actually not busy tomorrow :)

Y/N Great! Is it okay if I take you out on a date?

Harrison A date? With me?

Y/N OMG. Are you dating someone? I'm so sorry! Forget I said anything. Good night!

Harrison No, I'm not dating anyone! I just wanted to make sure I read it right.

Y/N Oh. Then, yes. I want a date with you x

Harrison I'd be honored to go on a date with you xx

Y/N That's great! I don't really like to go out. Can we just stay in? Peter could stay there with Julian and you could stay here.

Harrison That could work! Does 7pm work fine?

Y/N Yes! See you tomorrow x

Harrison See you tomorrow and good night x

You smiled to yourself and went to bed. The next day, you dropped off Peter at Harrison's place. You went to the grocery store straight after that. You wanted to bake Harrison a red velvet cake and you needed food. After that, you hurriedly went home and prepared for everything. Luckily, you had time to spare. You got in the shower and got ready. You didn't wear anything fancy. You even told Harrison to come in comfy clothing when you dropped Peter off that morning.

The doorbell rang after you finished brushing your hair. You hurriedly went downstairs with a big smile on your face. You opened the door and invited Harrison inside.

He looked around and smiled to himself, "I love your house! It's so cozy."

"Make yourself at home. I'll bring the food to the living room. Feel free to browse through Netflix while waiting." You smiled at him and led him to the living room.

"Thanks, Y/N." Harrison grinned as he sat down on the couch. He picked up the remote and browsed through the movies that were there. You made your way back to the kitchen and carried the food in. You put the food down and sat down next to Harrison.

"I think we deserve this day to ourselves." Harrison said. You nodded in agreement, "That's true. We're both hard working single parents and I think it's just right for us to have this day."

"Yes and because of that, I feel like watching 'Bad Moms'." Harrison looked at you. You shrugged, "Sure."

He played the movie and both of you just watched. From time to time, both of you would comment about how you'd done the same thing. Halfway through the movie, you turned to Harrison and said, "I have a question. You don't have to answer it or anything, but I'm just really curious."

He paused the movie and nodded for you to continue. You cleared your throat and asked, "Where's Julian's mum?"

Harrison pursed his lips and shrugged, "You know what? I don't really know and I don't care. I got her pregnant when I was 19 and she absolutely hated me for it. She wanted to get rid of it, but something inside me told me that I should keep it. So I told her my side and it took a lot of convincing but in the end, we came up with an agreement. The agreement was, after she gives birth to the baby, we'll cut off all contact and move on with our lives. Of course, she got to pretend like nothing happened while I stayed at home and tended to a wailing child every night."

He looked at you and asked, "What about you? Where's Peter's dad?"

"Well, I got pregnant at 19." You chuckled. "He was surprisingly supportive and he stayed. But when Peter was, like, 4 years old, I think? He told me he didn't want to play 'house' anymore. He wanted to leave and I found out that he's been cheating on me with some girl he met on Tinder. I didn't have to kick him out; he just left without saying another word. He didn't even have the decency to say goodbye to Peter. Was I mad? Of course, I was. Peter was heartbroken and I couldn't do anything about it."

You turned so that you could fully face Harrison, "Do you know how painful it is to see your child hurting and not knowing what to do? It sucks. It sucks in a lot of ways because Peter loves his dad and they're close. It sucks because that son of a bitch just left Peter with no hesitation and no remorse. It sucks because I can't tell Peter why his dad left without breaking his pure heart. Most of all, it sucks that I can't mend his broken heart because the only person who could fix it was the same person who broke it. That shit hurts."

"So, I just do my best in being the best mum. But I feel like I've failed him, you know? I miss some of his school stuff and my mum or the maid or my secretary attend the PTA meetings. I'm not married to a person, but I'm married to my job. It's not an easy job, but I'm doing it for Peter. He's my motivation; he's my everything. I would really fight ANYONE who'll try to take him away from me." You added.

"I get you. I swear, if one day Julian's mum shows up and plans to take him away from me so that Julian could be with her, I won't hesitate to fight. He's MY son and I raised him. She has no right to claim him after all the shit I've been through; after all the nasty and judgmental looks I've gotten just by going out and taking him to the park or to the mall. After everything I sacrificed just for him to be happy. He's mine and not hers." Harrison declared.

"Let me tell you something: despite everything, I love being a mum and I would do it all over again." You confessed. He smiled and nodded, "Same here. I used to hate waking up super early but now, I look forward to spending my morning making breakfast for Julian."

"Damn, we really are parents. Maybe it's because we care and love them too much." You laughed.

"Maybe." Harrison chuckled.

Both of you stared at each other and slowly leaned in for a kiss. Both of you felt a spark when your lips met his. It felt good; it felt right. If Harrison never believed in love before, he did now. The kiss got heated quickly as he pulled you on his lap. His hands were on your waist and your hands were pulling his hair. Both of you pulled away and rested your forehead on his. "I haven't done this in a long time. I'm so sorry. The last time I had sex, I got pregnant." You panted.

"Don't worry. The last time I had sex, Julian came along." Harrison breathed. "We can stop, if you want."

You shook your head. That kiss was the best kiss you've ever had and you didn't want to just stop. You shook your head, "No fucking way. I've waited so long for this and I don't want it to stop."

You got up from his lap and pulled him up, "Let's go!"

"Where?"

"To my room, silly." You chuckled. Both of you quickly went to your room and locked the door even though no one would come in. You felt like a teenager whose parents are out of town and has the whole place to themselves. It was kind of exciting.

"You know, I'm normally not in a hurry, but I can't fucking wait any longer." Harrison said. He kicked off his shoes and took off his socks. You giggled, "Excited?"

"Fuck, yeah." Harrison nodded as he took off his shirt. You stopped giggling and stared at him. He smirked and said, "Take a picture, it'll last longer."

He walked towards you and fiddled with the hem of your shirt, "May I?"

"Rip it in half, for all I care." You muttered under your breath. Harrison took off your shirt and unclasped your bra. He groaned and pushed you on your bed. He took off his sweatpants along with his boxers and got in between your legs. 

"Holy fuck, you're gorgeous." He smiled sweetly. He leaned in to kiss you as he massaged your breasts. You moaned as he did so. He started leaving kisses on your neck and collarbone until he found your sweet spot.

"Fuck." You bit your lip as your nails raked on his back.

He left a hickey on your neck and proudly smiled at what he did. You watched him as he kissed your breasts. He sucked on your left breast and massaged the other. His free hand slid down and rubbed you through the fabric of your underwear.

"Fuck this shit. I really need you to fuck me." You whined. He chuckled and pulled away from your breast and slightly bent down to grab a condom from the pocket of his sweatpants.

"Tom gave it to me as a joke. Turns out, we'd be using it." Harrison said as he tossed his sweatpants on the floor. He took off your underwear and he threw it somewhere in the room. He stood up and hurriedly took off his boxers and opened the condom wrapper. He quickly slid it over his member and went back to his previous position.

"Ready?" He asked. You quickly nodded, "Yeah."

He puts his hands on your hips as he aligned himself to your entrance before he thrusts himself into you. You moaned, "Oh my god."

He buried his face on your neck as he thrusts into you in a quick pace. Both of your moans and groans filled your room and you were glad that you had the house to yourself. Your hands were pulling his hair and raking your nails on his back.

He pulled you in for a kiss as his hand went down to your clit. You pulled away from the kiss and gasped, " Shit. I don't think I can last long."

"Same here." Harrison moaned. Your walls tightened around his cock as he pounded into you, hitting your g-spot which made you cum instantly. He moaned as he spilled inside the condom while he continued to thrust through both of your climaxes.

After that, he pulled out of you and collapsed next to you. Both of you were just laying next to each other, panting. When Harrison regained his breathing, he got up and went to the bathroom to remove the condom and dispose it. He washed his hands and went back to you.

"You know, I don't really have sex on the first date." You said. Harrison laid down next to you and chuckled, "I assume I'm an exception."

"Yes, you are and you should be happy." You told him with a smile.

"I am." Harrison grinned as pulled you close and kissed your forehead.

"As much as I like you a lot, we left the food downstairs and I don't want it to go to waste. I even baked you a cake so..." You trailed off and got up from bed and took out clean clothes from your drawer. "Did you bring any clothes with you?"

"Yeah, they're in my backpack downstairs. I brought it just in case I slept here." Harrison said as he picked up his clothes and folded them before putting it on the chair in your room.

"I like the way you think." You chuckled. "Let's go get your backpack downstairs."

"I'm naked."

"So? You've seen mine, I've seen yours and we're the only ones here." You gave him a sly smile. "We can clean up here after we eat."

Both of you went downstairs to continue your date. Harrison got dressed and joined you on the couch. The rest of the night was filled with eating, stolen kisses, cuddling, and watching movies. Eventually, you both fell asleep on the couch.

The next morning, both you and Harrison were lazy to cook anything. So, you heated up the leftovers from last night and ate it.

As Harrison was gathering all his things and getting ready to leave, you asked, "So, what are we? I don't want to be THAT kind of girl, but I just want to know. I mean, we had a date, we've been texting and calling each other almost every day and we had sex last night. I'm pretty sure it's time to seal the deal."

"I admire your straightforwardness." Harrison chuckled as he zipped his backpack closed. He turned to you and smiled, "Will you be my girlfriend?"

You sighed happily and said, "Yes! It's about fucking time!"

You pulled him in for a sweet kiss before pulling away, "Okay, I'll see you later when I pick up Peter."

"See you later, then." Harrison grinned. He wore his backpack and walked to the door with you trailing behind him.

"Stay safe and text me when you get home." You said sternly. He nodded, "I will."

He opened the door and walked to his car. You leaned against the door frame and smiled and waved at him as he got in his car. He drove away and you sighed happily. You finally got the guy of your dreams to be your boyfriend and it made you really glad.

When Harrison arrived home, Peter and Julian were still asleep. It was the weekend, anyway. Tom was in the kitchen and Harrison made his way there.

"Hey, mate." Harrison greeted as he put down his backpack and leaned on the kitchen counter. Tom looked at him and smirked, "Hey. How'd it go?"

Harrison shrugged, "It was amazing. Why?"

Tom didn't say anything. He just remained his gaze on Harrison and smirked even more.

"Why are you looking at me like that?" Harrison furrowed his eyebrows and crossed his arms.

"I know there's more." Tom said.

"There's nothing more, I swear."

"Really?"

"Yeah."

"So, if I check your pockets I'll still find the condom I gave you?"

"...Fuck you, Thomas." Harrison shook his head. Tom gasped and did a victory dance.

"OH MY GOD." Tom freaked out and chuckled. "Way to go, mate!"

"She's also my girlfriend now." Harrison blushed.

"I'm really happy for you, mate. I strongly believe that she's the one for you." Tom smiled at Harrison.

If Harrison went back in time to tell his past self that he would finally believe in love all because of a woman he met, his past self would laugh at him. He was sure he's given up on love before, but you completely changed that. He wanted to thank his lucky stars for bringing both of you together. He now thought that both of you were really meant for each other.

Peter and Julian were really happy when you and Harrison told them that you were dating. "We'll be brothers!" Peter exclaimed as Julian cheered. Both of you didn't really expect them to be THAT happy.

You met each other's family and your mum loved Harrison for you. She was glad you finally found someone who loved you. Harrison's mum was glad that he found someone who understands him. She knew that Harrison tried to date before, but the girls always turned him down as soon as they found out about Julian. But now that Harrison found you, she was glad! Plus, she loved Peter just like your mum loved Julian.

Your relationship was going steady. Both of you were such adults in the relationship and it was perfect. Both of you rarely fought and soon, you asked Harrison and Julian to move in with you and Peter. At that point, you and Harrison have been dating for a year now.

It was so unlike him, but he wanted to propose to you. Now he understood what Harry felt about Cassie. Both of you were now 27 and you weren't getting any younger. Both of you talked about marriage before and expanding your little family.

Harrison spoke to Harry and Tom about it and they were willing to help. Cassie was in on it too. After all the hard work you put into their wedding, Cassie wanted to give back and this was her only way.

You were Harrison's date at the wedding even though you were still working. It was now time for Cassie to toss her bridal bouquet and the ladies were on the dance floor as Cassie stood from a great distance away from them. You were watching behind the crowd of ladies with a clipboard in hand and a hand on your hip. You even had a bluetooth earpiece in your ear.

Everyone started counting as Cassie prepared to toss it, "1, 2, 3!"

Cassie just pretended to toss it and turned around with a big smile on her face. You were confused and shocked. That wasn't how it was supposed to go. What surprised you even more was the fact Cassie took your arm and basically dragged you to the middle of the dance floor.

"Cassie, I'm wor-"

She gave you her bridal bouquet, took your clipboard from you, and pointed at Harrison who was walking towards you. Everyone else in the room squealed in glee as you stood there frozen. When Harrison stood in front of you with a cute smile adorning his handsome face, you knew he was up to something.

"What's going on?" You whispered. His actions spoke for himself when he got down on one knee and opened the velvet box he was holding. It showed a beautiful ring with your birth stone as the stone. You gasped as everyone cheered.

Harry rushed to Harrison's side and held the mic for him. Harrison was tearing up at this point, "I know you worked to make this wedding happen for Harry and Cassie, but I asked for their permission and they were happy to help."

You looked at Harry and he nodded with a grin, "Cassie and I love love."

You looked back at Harrison as he cleared his throat, "Well, I know we haven't been together that long but I'm sure as hell that I want to spend the rest of my waking moments with you. Now I know what Harry felt when he decided he wanted to be with Cassie for the rest of his life. You're the love of my life and I would like to officially seal the deal by asking you to be my wife. Y/N, you're my everything and I love you so much. I love Peter like he's my own and I'm so blessed to have you and Peter in mine and Julian's lives. You made me believe in love when I was so sure that I gave up on it years ago. I've been waiting for the right woman to come along and you were worth the wait. Y/N, my love, will you marry me?"

Everyone looked at you expectantly and Harrison was so nervous. Even Peter and Julian were at the edge of their seats. Tom was shaking as he filmed the whole thing. You took a deep breath and nodded with a smile, "Yes. Yes, I will marry you!"

Everyone let out a sigh of relief before clapping and cheering for both of you. Harrison puts the ring on your finger and stood up to pull you in a loving kiss.

"The best wedding planner in London will now plan her own wedding." Harry joked as he spoke through the mic. Everyone laughed at Harry's joke.

You pulled away from the kiss and smiled at Harrison. Harry gave Harrison the garter and Harrison laughed. That wasn't part of the plan.

"I think it's just right for you to have the garter if Y/N gets the bouquet." Harry said.

"Let's take our pictures now!" Cassie squealed as she stood next to Harry. All 4 of you had smiles on your faces as the photographer took a picture of you. After that, the program resumed and you were now in work mode. However, you were more smiley than usual all thanks to Harrison, your fiancé.

Harrison couldn't stop looking at you as you worked. He adored the fact that you worked really hard for Peter, but he was really excited for Peter to officially his son. Peter and Julian were the perfect balance. Julian was a ball of energy while Peter was always calm and reserved. Harrison couldn't wait to spend the rest of his life with you  and he was glad that he met you. He really loved you and you were a blessing.

Marriage is different for everyone, but all we really need is the right person to come along. We don’t know when they’ll come or who it’ll be, but we’ll just feel it.

* * * *

𝐇𝐀𝐙 𝐎𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐅𝐈𝐄𝐋𝐃 𝐓𝐀𝐆𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓: @abrielleholland​ @silencetheslaves​ @imeanlifesabitshit​ @joyleenl​ @marshxx​​ @hjoficrecs​​ @myblueleatherbag​ @poguesholland​ @myblueleatherbag​​ @harryismysunflower​​ @justanothermarvelmaniac​ @lonikje​

𝐆𝐄𝐍𝐄𝐑𝐀𝐋 𝐓𝐀𝐆𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓: @marvelousell​ @justasmisunderstoodasloki​ @rubberducky-jrr​ @petersholland​​ @osterfieldnholland​ @miraclesoflove​ @god-knows-what-am-i-doing​​ @perspectiveparker​​ @parker-potters​​ @itstaskeen​ @call-me-baby-gir1​

Add yourself to my taglist if you’re cool x