#MY BABIESSSSSSSS THEYRE FRIENDSHIP IS SO UNDERRATED

[atlasdoe]

The sun was just setting when they reached the Quidditch pitch. On the grass already was the chest full of balls and both James and Mary's brooms.

“Grab your broom,” James said when they got to them. “You’re getting a private tryout.”

Mary dropped his hand and shook her head, “James I’m not doing this.”

“Why not?”

“Because I don’t want to. If I wanted to then I would’ve gone this morning like everyone else. I don’t deserve special treatment.”

“Nonsense, you’re Mary MacDonald you deserve all the special treatment in the world.”

“James, I’m serious.”

“No, you’re not, you’re Mary.”

“James!”

Seeing that she was actually getting upset, James’ cheeky smile turned soft and he sat down on the grass cross-legged. He motioned for her to do the same and she did.

“What’s going on Mare?”

Mary shrugged, “I just don’t feel like playing anymore that’s all.”

“That's bullshit Mary,” he said, trying to keep his tone as gentle as possible. “You’ve never not wanted to play.”

Mary kept picking at the grass beneath them as she shrugged again. “I just don’t think it’s for me.”

James thought about her answers. He knew what this was really about. Mary had been so outgoing and proud last year, and with just one night, with just one action by one person, it was all gone. She hadn’t left her room for nearly a week after it happened, somehow Remus managed to talk her out but she was still a shell of who she once was. The worst part was that James could see that she was trying to get her old self back during the last part of the year, but now they seemed back to square one.

Just the thought of it was enough to make him on the verge of tears. Mary was the brightest person he knew, and he would’ve given everything to see her shine again.

“Do you remember how we first met?” He asked her after a minute of silence.

Mary nodded, when she looked up he saw her own tears falling down her face. “Second day of school,” she said. “Our second year.”

James nodded, giving her a reassuring smile, giving her whatever warmth he could. “We were in the common room,” he continued. “You had come down with the firsties and Evans introduced us.”

“Lily tried to introduce us,” Mary corrected. “You told us to bugger off because you were doing important Quidditch preparations.”

James turned a bright red at Mary's mocking tone. He really was a little shit when he was younger. “That I did,” he said nodding, despite his shame.

“I asked you what Quidditch was and you explained the rules,” Mary went on.

James hummed, “You then asked me if I would teach you how to play.”

Mary nodded, a small smile forming on her lips as she teased, “Do you remember what you told me?”

James’ blush brightened as he rocked back slightly before answering, “I told you that only those who can’t do, teach and you should probably ask Sirius.”

Mary laughed, but she wasn’t done embarrassing him there, “And when Sirius called you a twat, what did you respond with?”

“I told him that I was too busy and that my skills shouldn’t be wasted.”

Mary hadn’t stopped laughing, “And you wonder why people called you arrogant.”

James smiled at her, it had been a long time since he had heard her properly laugh like that. He had missed it and was now determined to never let it fade again.

“Do you want to know a secret?” He asked once she had calmed down.

Mary nodded her smile only slightly visible now.

“Not taking the opportunity to teach you is one of the biggest regrets of my life.”

Now it was Mary's turn to turn red, “You don’t mean that.”

“No, I do,” James insisted. “When I had heard that McKinnon and Bones had started their little class for you I didn’t think much of it until I saw you properly play for the first time. And arrogant little me was kicking myself at the fact that I couldn’t take credit for your skill. Mary, you were brilliant, and you still are, nothing and nobody could ever change that.”

“He changed that,” Mary said bluntly, breaking James’ heart into a million little pieces.

“No he didn’t,” he whispered back, almost in a plea.

Mary, who was now crying again, nodded slowly. “Yes, he did. He changed everything. I’m trying to ignore it, I’m trying to be my old self again, I promise I am! But I’m so tired of pretending that everything’s okay when it’s not!”

James was walking on eggshells, he was keeping his voice very level. “Mary, what happened… We never talked about it…”

“It's not about what happened,” Mary sniffled. “Well… I mean it is but it’s… it’s so much more.”

“What else is it?”

Mary looked at him through glassy eyes and quickly did her best to wipe her face before leaning back on her hands, her leg bouncing as she shook her head. “I don’t know who else would’ve done the same,” she told him, tears freely falling again. “I don’t know how many people have already done the same just to someone different. I mean, what if Lily or Dirk or Dahlia or any other muggleborn gets hurt because some asshole thinks that they can get away with it because he did? How am I supposed to live with myself?”

“It's not your fault Mare-“

“But it is! It wasn’t random! I’ve heard what they’ve all been saying about me. How I deserved it, how I should’ve known my place, and now others are suffering because I’m a mudblood!”

James moved quickly when Mary broke, getting down on one knee before her and allowing her to hide her face in his chest as his arms wrapped around her protectively. “Don’t say that,” he whispered softly. “They’re wrong Mare, they’re so wrong.”

“But I got everyone worried over nothing,” she mumbled into his shirt. “Y’know Marlene used to sneak into my dorm room at night after it happened? She would go all the way from Ravenclaw to Gryffindor and break into the common room just to sleep with me because she kept having nightmares about it.”

“That was Marlene?” James asked, confused. “I thought we had rats!”

The sound of Mary's laugh brought his too as she slowly pulled away. “Don’t be an idiot, Potter, we both know you didn’t hear her.”

James shrugged, “Maybe,” he confessed. “But it made you laugh, so worth the lie in the end.”

“I’m sorry for dumping all of this on you. All you wanted to do was throw a ball around and I just went on a vent.”

James was shaking his head before she could even finish, “You have nothing to be sorry for,” he assured her. “I’m not going to lie to you and pretend like I know how you feel or how to make you feel better, but Mary I will do everything in my power to help you. I’m here for you, and I’m not the only one,” he said. “I really don’t think you should give up Quidditch. I don't think you want to.”

“I don’t want to give it up. But what if –”

“Ah. You don't want to give it up. End of sentence, you’re trying out.”

Mary sighed as James began to stand. Still, she followed. “But what if something happens?”

“Mary,” James said. “We will blast anyone who even thinks about hurting any muggleborn in this school, and on the off chance that something does happen, it will never be your fault. Now, I’m going to be honest with you and tell you something my mother used to tell me because it’s clear you’ve been hearing way too many lies lately, okay?”

Mary nodded, “Okay.”

“The only way you could ever bring darkness into this world is by depriving it of your light,” he said simply, taking one of her hands in his.

Mary nodded slightly as her tears came back. “Merlin, how many times am I going to cry tonight?” She asked with a laugh. “That was cheesy as fuck.”

James laughed with her and squeezed her hand. “Cry all you like,” he said. “Just make sure you don’t stop smiling.”