#MORE upset and then i have to email profs and that makes it worse and then im still too burnt out to do the assignments so i just. | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

quillquiver · 2 years

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I have angered a minor god

So, I started last week with an immediate rejection from one of the two doctorate programs I applied to. It was definitely upsetting, but I love where and who I live with right now, so not having to move from my gorgeous Vancouver apartment with my super fun best friend/qpp/roommate to Gronigen, Netherlands was a little bit of a relief. Unfortunately, when I called my mother to talk about it, she delivered Tough Love instead of Coddling, which was not what I was after at the time and took me from Bummed But We’ll Manage to Homocidally Upset I Have No Idea What I’m Doing With My Life.

Not a great week, but still normal. By Wednesday, I had a tickle in my throat. I live in an old and very dry (but somehow also damp in areas) building, and figured it was that. Not so. By Wednesday night my cold has progressed to the feeling of a someone cheese grating my throat and a super stuffed nose. I don’t normally get sick so I go to bed early and figure it’ll go away. When I wake up the next morning, I’m sick. Like, sick sick. I am so uncomfortable I want to remove all my internal organs and place them next to me. I’m taking a bouldering course for fun and call in to the gym, but of course I can’t make up a class without a doctor’s note, and at this point it’s still just a regular cold so I figure I’ll wear a mask, distance and be okay.

Over the course of the day I get worse, and bouldering is from 7-9pm. It takes me 20mins to get there. I don’t like eating at 5pm, but I tried eating at 9:30pm and was too hungry during climbing and then too pumped after eating to sleep, so I suck it up and make rice with a poached egg because at this point I am physically exhausted on top of feeling like zombie. I figure I’ll see how it goes, but I’m betting I’ll only stay for the instructional portion and not the practice portion of the course. I bet correctly! By the time we’re done learning footwork, I feel Very Bad - the instance I get on and immediately fall off the wall because I clenched my abs and immediately feel nauseas, I gracefully take my leave (i.e. run out of there).

It is winter in Vancouver which means rain, but also mist. That night we were in a series of fun clouds broken up by actual rain, so I juggle trying to hold my umbrella with checking my email because I am waiting on The Second School and I am insane. BUT IT TURNS OUT MY INSANITY PAYS OFF. Oh yes, in my inbox there is an email from UC Berkeley telling me - not my long-awaited answer, but that I have an answer. In my portal. FUN.

By the time I get home, my anxiety has outwardly manifested and I am deliriously talking to myself, out loud. I have convinced myself I have not gotten in and that is for the best, and everyone is avoiding me on the side walk. That is probably for the best.

I get home.

I get on my laptop.

There is no answer because Berkeley likes to torture people and has you click through two more screens before I see a PDF regretfully informing me that my chosen prof will not be taking me and Berkeley gets a lot of applicants blah blah blah. I am Upset because the prof I wanted to work with was Very Enthusiastic - she loved my proposed project and was very excited by it - but I’m old hat at this gig by now and know that these things happen. QPP and her other partner talk me down. I now have a major sinus headache but I’m calm in that kind of fun, dissociative way, so I proceed to take a shower.

Unfortunately, I enter the bathroom and the floor is all wet.

Why, you might ask? I have no idea. We wipe up the water and try and figure out where it’s coming from but no dice. At some point - and I truly can’t remember - I had disrobed and wrapped myself in my clean towel. I have no idea why. I must have really just wanted to shower.

QPP is the eagle-eyed hero who finds the leak: it is coming from UNDER A BASEBOARD. YES. Our baseboard are not flush with the floor, so it truly looks as if our wall is attempted to create a pond out of our 100 year old bathroom. Wonderful. She texts the landlord and I finally take that shower. It’s glorious.

The next day, two very nice plumbers arrive. One looks like a caricature of a handyman and the other is English. They cut a hole in my closer because it’s up against the bathroom, so all my clothes need to come out of there, and they cut holes in the actual bathroom because my closet hole was useless for everything but ventilating the inner wall which is, by now, Very Wet. We are informed that this pipe has been leaking for a very long time, and that they will have to replace the entire thing, which runs up and down our stack of 7 apartments. However, we were the only ones with a leak.

By the time they leave I am ready to kill myself and everyone around me. My room smells like damp, musty wood, I’m so congested I can’t breathe, and I’m not hungry because I’ve been chain-eating throat lozenges. I am told that my closet door (and the thus the hole inside), need to remain open for air flow. I am very concerned about this because of the possibility of wall monsters, but keep that to myself. By the end of the day I feel marginally better, but that isn’t saying much.

On Saturday, I spend the day outside like an idiot. I am sicker for it.

On Sunday, I spend the day doing absolutely nothing on my couch. I relax. I watch TV and movies. I drink my weight in tea and use one and a half rolls of toilet paper to forcibly expel two of the four humors from my vile and disgusting body. By the end of the day I am half-convinced I’ve blown out half my brain through my nose, and have had no less than three nosebleeds. The highlight of the day is undoubtedly when, while totally engrossed in an episode of Love Island, I casually pick up my full tea mug and feel my shoulder seize.

It’s Monday night now, and I am 97.6% certain that I had a muscle twinge that became inflamed and is now putting pressure on a nerve in my arm. I have an appointment with a physio tomorrow. There is still a hole in my closet. I am still sick. And honestly, I might be forgetting something, because I’ve had brainfog for the past four days.

Definitely must’ve angered a minor god, though.

#alex talks #just needed to get this out #because it's almost funny at this point #OH YEAH #AND I HAVE A FUNGAL INFECTION UNDER MY ARM AT THE SAME TIME???

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i-am-too-sick · 3 years

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I’m the anon who asked for sick prof will, hope you have a good holiday! Hmmm will coming down with a nasty stomach bug and starts feeling lightheaded from not being able to keep food down while giving a lecture would be really cool to see

I live!

Will blinked once to bring the lecture hall back into focus, and then once more to clear the gray from the corners of his vision.

He swallowed thickly, forcing himself to carry on with his lecture. "By late 6th century BC, the Achaemenid Persian Empire ruled over what would now be the western coast of Turkey..."

The words sounded sloppy in his mouth, his tongue too heavy to articulate properly.

His water bottle sat untouched on the lectern, the condensation collecting on the outside slowly running down the sides and forming a puddle underneath.

He turned back to face the PowerPoint, intending to point his laser on the map to mark the location where General Mardonius' army crossed the Hellespont, but the simple act of turning his head left him reeling, and he had grab the edge of the lectern to keep from falling over.

Surely the class noticed his near stumble, but he was even more certain that Nico had seen it. His student-turned friend tended to watch him like a hawk, if not to take notes then to judge whether Will was preforming at his best.

And Will's attempt was subpar at best. He was well aware of his continued need to swallow down waves of nausea, as well as having to give himself brief moments to close his eyes, waiting for the spells of dizziness to pass.

He carried on as long as he could, droning on about Xerxes, and Thermopylae, and the Delian League until the words leaving his mouth stopped making sense in his ears.

"I need to sit down..." he groaned softly, not sure who could hear him.

He'd begun to sway somewhere around 480 BC, his tight grip on the lectern being the only thing keeping him standing. Now, if only his black peppered vision would let up enough so he could think of a way to combat the ever-growing nausea.

"Class dismissed," he announced finally, waiting until it was already near the end of his scheduled time. "Don't forget your essays are due tomorrow by 11:59pm."

There were murmurs from the crowd, but Will had already folded his arms and laid his head down on the lectern to see what all the fuss was about.

He heard the crowded hall begin to thin out, the din of students packing up belongings and chatting with one another drowning out the sounds of Will's obviously upset tummy.

"Are you hungover?"

Will sighed, knowing he should have expected Nico to appear at his side. And he supposed his friend's question was a valid one.

"I don't drink."

"Then you're sick."

"Please just leave me alone," Will groaned, all but begging. It'd been a long morning already, and Will just wanted to go home.

"Not a chance." He tugged at Will's arm. "C'mon, Solace, let's go sit down."

Will relented, lifting his head, but only because sitting was far more appealing than standing. However, moving was not going to be such a simple task anymore.

His head swam, his vision was hazy, and before he realized what had happened, he was on the floor staring up at the ceiling.

"Oh my gods, Will!"

Will blinked up at Nico, who had somehow gotten on the floor with him. He was cradling Will's head in his hands.

"What happened?"

"You just collapsed!"

This was probably the least composed Will had ever seen him, and if he'd been in his right mind to think so, he might have found this far less stoic Nico a touch endearing.

Instead, he closed his eyes, taking a deep breath in through his nose. "I don't feel so good..."

"What's wrong?" Nico asked, and Will felt a cool hand rest against his forehead. There was a pause, as though Nico was considering something. "How long have you been sick?"

Will thought, trying to gather his jumbled thoughts. "Last night," he answered finally, though it might have just been this morning. It was hard to tell. "Can you help me up? Think I'm gonna be sick..."

Nico whispered an affirmative, deliberately pulling Will into a seated position on the floor. The change in position, while slow, was not kind to him, leaving Will clamping his hand over his mouth, muffling a burp behind his fingers.

"Don't hold it in," Nico said, pulling a trash can in front of him. "You'll only feel worse."

Will shook his head, leaning forward over the bin. Saliva hung in tendrils around his lip, forcing him to remove his hand. "I can't—I don't want—no more..." he managed through small abortive heaves.

He lifted the small trash can beneath his chin, retching forcefully into the plastic. His whole body shook, his shoulders hiking up to his ears, his pale face reddening with the effort.

The lack of substance wasn't surprising to Will—he'd emptied his stomach long before class started. He let out a long nauseated belch, too miserable to be embarrassed now.

"It looks like you're empty," Nico said, sounding perplexed.

Will nodded, wiping his mouth before setting down the bin. "I haven't kept anything down for hours."

Shock crossed over Nico's face, then a hint of something that Will could only guess was anger, or exasperation. "Then why are you here?"

Will was confused by the question. "What do you mean?" He leaned over and spit into the trash can.

Nico rolled his eyes. "You're obviously sick, Will. Why didn't you just stay home?"

"It was too late," he said by way of explanation. The last time he'd thrown up was about 6:40 that morning, and his first class started at 8.

He closed his eyes again, dizzy and exhausted. He opened them only because he thought he heard Nico leaving.

Nico came back with Will's laptop. It had been on the desk near the lectern.

"I'm emailing the rest of your classes," he said, already beginning to type. "You're done teaching for the day."

Will wasn't going to argue. Right now the only thing he wanted to do was lie down.

"What about you?"

"I'm going to email my professors too. Clearly you'll die without anyone looking after you."

That earned Nico a ghost of a smile. "Thank you. You're my hero."

If a faint blush appeared on Nico's cheeks at Will's sentiment, they both chose to ignore it.

#illness #emetophilia #will solace #nico di angelo #solangelo #percy jackson and the olympians #heroes of olympus #my fiction #request #college au

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queenmylovely · 5 years

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The Law of Attraction ii

Summary: John deacon x fem!reader. A change in employment makes things more... interesting.

Word Count: 3.3k

Warnings: lotsa bit of awkwardness, cussing

A/N: Part ii of LoA, in which things heat up, but aren’t quite spicy yet. I had so much fun writing this, and I hope you all have as much reading it! Any feedback including likes, replies, reblogs and asks are greatly appreciated! Requests are open! (more info at the end)

Request: idk if you write for prof!deaky but like… i’d be so down for that.

Part i, Part iii*, Masterlist

gif by @deakysgurl

💥💥💥

Early Monday morning of your sixth week of classes you had woken up to an email from the school’s admin office with the subject title “IMPORTANT MEETING ABOUT YOUR EMPLOYMENT,” that said “come to my office before you start your shift,” in the body. You sighed and wondered how long they would be employing you after the meeting, or if they would just fire you right then. Wracking your brain for a reason they would fire you, you couldn’t come up with any and figured it must have to do with scheduling or budgeting. It seemed you would have to find another job that would allow you to work for less than 20 hours a week and be close to your apartment or campus and would let you do homework in your downtime. Yeah, like that’d be possible.

You got ready for the day in a bit of a slump, eating your bagel and cream cheese and fixing your hair with a frown. When there was no more time to put it off, you got in your car and drove over to campus. The walk to the admin building seemed more like a death march and when you went in the doors, the chimes of the bell tower went off, really adding to the tone of the day.

As soon as you walked into the main office, your boss called you over and you walked with perfect posture and a stoic look on your face. If they were going to fire you, you were going to take it like a professional. Your boss lead you into her office and left the door open as you sat down. You frowned a little in confusion at that, since you would expect the door to be closed during the firing.

Your boss, Marla, sat down behind her desk and smiled pleasantly at you, “How are you, Y/N?”

“I’m okay…” you replied cautiously.

“That’s good. So, I called you here because your employment will be changing starting today,” Marla told you and you braced yourself for her next words. “Katie, the admin assistant who works Tuesdays-Thursdays wanted more hours, and since you’re only available on Mondays and Fridays, we’ll be transferring you to a less busy department and she’ll take over for you here.”

That wasn’t what you were expecting. All of the dread and anticipation you were feeling rushed out of your body and you let out a breath you didn’t know you had been holding, “Oh, okay.”

“It should be the same hours too, we thought it just made sense to have one person doing one and the other doing the other instead of Katie splitting her time between departments,” she explained.

“Yeah, that sounds fine,” you told her, still just relieved you weren’t being fired.

“Good, I’m glad you’re not upset. I’m sorry to spring this on you so quickly,” she said with an apologetic smile.

If she didn’t want to make me upset, she should’ve labeled the email TRANSFER, you thought to yourself. You shook the thought from your head and smiled back, then asked, “So what department will I be transferring to?”

“Well, that’s the part I think you’ll like. It’ll actually be kind of a department within a department. It could even give you a boost with your major. You’ll be working for the engineering department’s lab professors,” she said brightly with a matching smile.

Out of politeness and reflex, you smiled back, but in your head you were a little frozen. With the past six weeks of classes, your crush had only gotten bigger, and you were sure that this job would only make it worse. Your boss told you to go ahead and go to the building now, and that one of the professors (she didn’t say which) would be around to give you some basic information, but the job would be really similar to this one.

As you started the 15 minute walk, you continued overthinking the situation. The crush had gotten to the point of your face heating up every time he looked at you, which was often since you had three classes with him. (And for no other reason, right?) Luckily, you had been able to complete the assignments and lab reports without needing to go to office hours, but the assignments were only getting harder, and you were close to breaking and going to them. You had held off from doing so because you knew that if you were alone with him for longer than 15 minutes, you would do something embarrassing. There was too much shoulder and arm touching and you stood closer together than students and professors should already, you couldn’t risk anything more.

But, you definitely couldn’t quit this job. For all of the reasons you had been worried about being fired, you couldn’t quit. With that in mind, you started to come to terms with the facts of your employment. You resigned yourself to the hope that you wouldn’t be able to keep up a crush on someone you worked for; you were a professional, and he’d probably be an annoying boss and that would get rid of your crush right away, right?

By the time you had thought that slightly hopeful thought, you had arrived at the lab building and took a deep breath before walking in. Waiting in the “lobby” was not one of the two professors whose names you didn’t know, like you had hoped, but Professor Deacon. That deep breath you had taken in came out as a shaky sigh just as he looked up at you, and that telltale warmth heated your face. He smiled when he recognized it was you, and stood up from where he had been sitting behind the desk. It was a high desk, so it came up to his mid-torso and your chest.

As you walked into the room, he leaned over the desk so he was resting his elbows on the top and looked slightly down at you with a smile. “Hey, Y/N, funny to see you on a Monday.”

“Hi Professor Deacon,” you returned as warmly as you could manage, with a smaller smile.

“What can I do for you? Mind, it will have to be quick; I’m waiting for a new assistant,” he informed you, still with a smile.

“That’s actually what I’m here for. I’ve transferred from the admin office and I’ll be working here now,” you said tentatively.

As you explained the situation, Professor Deacon’s face went through a couple of flashes of emotion you couldn’t quite decipher. One almost looked like excitement, but the one right after looked like nervousness, and there was one splashed in there that you definitely couldn’t understand, but it made his eyes dark. After the veritable catalogue of emotions that crossed his face, it settled in pleasant, if not neutral, surprise.

“Well, how fitting. An engineering student working for the engineering department,” he said, finally.

Still confused at his reaction, you responded slowly, “Yeah, that’s what my previous boss said.”

“Previous boss?” he asked in confusion.

“Yes, I mean, I think you’re my boss now,” you reminded him.

Professor Deacon swallowed thickly and that darkness that made you uneasy and excited all at the same time reentered his eyes, “Oh, yes, I suppose you’re right.”

A mildly uncomfortable silence fell over the two of you, and you weren’t sure what to do next since he was the one that was supposed to be training you. He seemed to realize this after a second.

“So, I guess I don’t have to give you a tour, since you already know the space well,” he said, standing up straight again, grabbing a little notepad he had, and checking off a box next to what you could barely make out as “tour.” Professor Deacon had written a little to-do list for training the new assistant, and just that little extra-preparedness made your heart swell. Fuck.

Professor Deacon checked the list to see what should come next. Deciding, he said, “Have you ever met the other two professors in this building? I know I showed you their labs, but…”

When you shook your head no, he walked out from behind the desk and started leading you to their offices, “Let’s go do that then.”

Like always, you found yourself all too close to him while you were walking, but couldn’t bring yourself to step away or slow down so you were behind him. As you reached the first closed door, he knocked lightly, opening it when he heard the person say “come in.”

Pushing the door open enough so you could stand next to him in the doorway and be visible, Professor Deacon gestured to you, “We’re just popping by to introduce you to our new assistant. This is Y/N, Y/N this is Professor Batten, he’s the civil engineering professor.”

It took a determined amount of your concentration to pay attention to the other man and his name because Professor Deacon was so close to you standing in that doorway that you could feel the warmth radiating off of his arm.

Professor Batten smiled and said, “Nice to meet you, Y/N,” which you reciprocated hastily before Professor Deacon ushered you back to the hallway and closed the door, waving to his coworker.

“He’s kind of a nerd, really quiet, but he’s nice,” Professor Deacon explained to you as the two of you walked to the mechanical lab when you realized the other professor’s office was empty.

“Aren’t you all kind of nerds?” you asked teasingly, finding yourself falling into the comfortable and friendly relationship the two of you had developed over the six weeks.

“Ouch, you’ve got me there,” he said with a fake pained look. Laughing, he continued the joke, “What was it that gave me away? The fact that I’m always here or my t-shirts with the engineering puns?”

“Well, even just the fact that you’re an electrical engineering professor doesn’t bode well for not being a nerd, but I’ve gotta say that the final nail in the coffin is the dad shoes,” you said, pointing down to the shoes that he wore everyday without fail.

“Dad shoes? I’m no dad,” he said a little defensively, but there was still a laugh in his voice.

“Good to know,” you said under your breath, and Professor Deacon strained to hear it. In a more audible voice, you added with a smirk, “Even so, they’re pretty nerdy.”

“I resent that statement,” he told you, trying to look annoyed but unable to keep the smile off of his face.

“I’m just calling it like it is. Plus I never said it was a bad thing to be nerdy. If you have a complex about that, that’s on you. Besides,” you said, taking a second to reinforce the stupid thought you were about to say next, and to look him in the eye, “Nerdy is cute.”

Before Professor Deacon could react or say anything, you turned to the woman that had just come into view in the mechanical engineering lab and waved, saying loudly, “Hi, I’m Y/N, the new assistant for you three professors in the lab building.”

Professor Deacon had heard what you said and, with his knowledge of inductive reasoning, came to the following set of conclusions: you said you thought nerdy was cute, you said you thought he was nerdy, therefore, you must think he’s cute. But that couldn’t be right. You were an intelligent, beautiful, funny, young woman who couldn’t be more than 24, not to mention his student, and he was a 38 year old electrical engineering professor who spent his free time in the lab and wore the same five shirts and pairs of pants every week.

But you also wouldn’t have said it if you didn’t mean it, and you had to have known what you were saying, that’s what the whole conversation was about. Wait… did this mean that you thought Jack Batten was cute too?

While Professor Deacon was having that internal mini-crisis, and looking about as red as a tomato all the while, the woman that was standing about 20 feet away made her way over to you and stuck out her hand to shake yours.

“Hi, Y/N, it’s nice to meet you, I’m Professor Karen Braun,” she introduced herself with a pleasant smile on her face and a firm handshake.

“Nice to meet you too,” you said, matching her smile and handshake.

Professor Braun looked behind from where you had stepped forward and saw Professor Deacon. His face was still beet red and he looked very out of sorts.

“Deaky are you okay? Do you feel sick? You aren’t looking too good,” Professor Braun said with a worried look on her face as she crossed to where he was standing.

Looking at him, you were worried as well, though not quite for the same reason. You had a pretty good idea of why he was looking the way he was, but you weren’t sure whether it was an I'm-flustered-and-flattered-and-I-also-have-an-inappropriate-crush-on-my-student-type look or an oh-no-this-crazy-girl-has-a-crush-on-me-and-I’m-stuck-with-her-for-the-rest-of-the-semester-type look.

Joining the other two a few feet away, you heard the end of the sentence Professor Deacon was saying, “Really Karen, I’m fine. I think I’m just overheating a little. You know how it is with the air conditioning in this building.”

That seemed to get Professor Braun off of him as a topic and onto complaining about how the A/C broke every year and they did nothing about and the same in the winter with the heating. This all despite the fact that it was the middle of October, and his A/C excuse didn’t really make sense.

“And the insulation is horrible in this building, so it really affects us!” she said enthusiastically, gesturing with purpose.

Both you and Professor Deacon nodded with fervor at her statement.

“Well, I’ve still got the rest of the training to teach Y/N, so we’d better head back to the main office,” he said as he gestured to the direction of the door.

“Yes of course. Well, welcome to our mini-department,” she told you, smiling at you once again.

You thanked her and then followed Professor Deacon out of the room, and you didn’t have to worry about walking too close because he was practically jogging back to the lobby. Once you got there, he was already standing by the desk.

“You probably already know the system pretty well, but why don’t we go through this list and just make sure,” he suggested, letting you go behind the desk first so you were closer to the computer. You didn’t know whether it was intentional or not, but he didn’t leave much space for you to get through, and your back brushed against his front as you side-stepped behind the desk.

Because of the pounding in your ears from the slight contact, you didn’t hear Professor Deacon’s sharp intake of breath. You sat down at the rolling desk chair, reaching underneath you to adjust the height higher since Professor Deacon had been the last one sitting in it. As he sat down next to you, you turned to look at him and saw that his face was red all over again.

Deciding to press your luck, you raised the back of your right hand to his forehead and your left to his shoulder to steady yourself and asked, “Are you sure you’re not ill, Professor Deacon? You feel warm.”

“I-I’m- I’m quite alright. Thank you, Y/N, for asking,” Professor Deacon replied after a beat. He was desperately trying not to focus on how soft and gentle your hands were and how they would feel in his hands (or elsewhere on his body). How in the hell was he supposed to survive this semester?

“If you’re sure Professor Deacon,” you said a bit hesitant, removing your hands from his body slowly, trying to hold onto the feeling of touching him so tenderly in your mind. Your experiment had gone well, at least to the point that he didn’t remove your hands from him or call you out for being inappropriate. Was it too presumptuous to hope that maybe that was because he didn’t mind the touch?

“Yes, let’s just move on to the objectives, shall we?” he prompted, picking up the list he had written beforehand. You were the only one of his students not to take advantage of calling him Deaky, and although he was quite fond of the nickname, he liked the way you saying “Professor Deacon” made him feel too much to point it out.

“Alright then, quiz me,” you said in a challenging voice.

Damn, I love it when she’s cheeky, Professor Deacon thought to himself. He cleared his throat and read the first item on the list. You completed it like a pro, as it was one of the most common things you had done in the admin office.

“Good gir- job,” he barely caught his mistake before he called you a good girl. Fuck, what’s wrong with me? he thought, mentally slamming his head on the table.

Now it was your turn to feel hot, but it wasn’t because you were embarrassed. You felt a delicious warmth cover your entire body and almost felt like shivering at the same time due to his praise. If only he knew what the effect his words had on you.

Clearing his throat to move past the moment, he went through the next three things on the list and you knew how to do them all easily. Then, he got to the final one.

“Okay, now you need to pull up an inventory sheet and use record for Treasure Island,” he told you, referencing the room that contained all of the extra materials for lab students and professors to use. On the second day of classes, he had explained to everyone that it was called Treasure Island, because for engineers, that’s what it was.

“That would be the one I don’t know how to do,” you informed him with a little grimace.

He leaned closer to you so he could point to the screen where you would need to click.

“I mean, no one’s perfect, even though you’re close,” he cleared his throat and you smiled to yourself at the compliment. “So, just click on files, then forms, and then Treasure Island, and finally inventory and use record. And you’ve got it.”

You turned to face him and realized how close he was. Since he had been looking over your shoulder, his face was just a few inches away from yours. After a soft gasp, you composed yourself the best you could (which was incredibly difficult since you could see the flecks of gold in his brown eyes) and said, “Thanks for showing me, Professor Deacon.”

“John,” he blurted, also finding it hard to talk instead of getting lost in your eyes.

Your brows wrinkled slightly in confusion, “What?”

“Um, I mean you can call me John. We’re practically coworkers, at least on Mondays and Fridays, so you can call me John on those days,” he stumbled out, not daring to look away from your gaze in case this was the only time he would get to see you so up close.

“Okay. John,” you affirmed, nodding your head lightly.

For just a second, John’s eyes drifted down to your lips to watch you say his name, and you noticed. Your breath hitched and John snapped his eyes back to yours, but not before your own eyes had traveled to his lips. You looked back up at him in a flash and found yourself unable to look away from his intense stare, not that you even wanted to.

This was getting dangerous.

💥💥💥

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maknaesdancersrappers · 6 years

Text

on the first day of kinkmas, my lover did to me:

[ a n g r y s e x ]

>TAEYONG

>warning/s: face fucking, unprotected sex

a/n: when i was at the sleepover, my friend told me about how he and the girl he’s seeing gets off at hating on a person and we were laughing so hard because it’s technically hate/angry sex right?? Just not towards each other lol anD ALSO THIS TEACHER WAS BASED OFF A REAL PROF I HAD BACK IN COLLEGE THAT COST ME A “Failure due to absences” MARK ON MY RECORDS i was that chicken towards him and i feel like most of this was just me shitting on him huhuhu if soMEONE FROM MY SCHOOL RECOGNIZES WHO THIS IS IM GONNA-- pls dont spread it around if u kno who this prof is huhuhuhuhu im probably //already// on his hitlist

Everyone hated at least one teacher they had come across in school; you met yours during Junior year in college. Mr. Chon was your Writing for Film elective professor and you’ve heard all the stories about how strict and uptight he was. You had blockmates who had him as a prof last semester and they always talked about how every meeting with him was living hell. You weren’t happy at the news, especially since he wasn’t even the prof you signed up for in the beginning.

There was only one class for the elective and you were able to get into the list before the final enrollment date, but because more people signed up for it and the registrar is absolute shit; you, along with other people, have been transferred to a new class--with the strictest, terror prof known in school.

You tried to appeal to the registrar for you to move back, but they put the blame on the Department of Comm for the class list and in the end, you weren’t allowed to move.

The first meeting with Mr. Chon was terrifying. Everyone in the room felt like they couldn’t breathe; so quiet that you could hear a pin drop and the air conditioning system sounded deafening. This elective was comprised mostly of Comm students and there were only a few of you that weren’t; one of which was your seatmate, Lee Taeyong, a dance major.

Before Mr. Chon entered the room, the two of you promised to help each other since your free time matched one another’s and neither of you wanted to do this alone. His friends ditched him last minute when he enrolled, opting for another elective he didn’t have the prerequisite of.

The first couple of classes with Mr. Chon was bearable. He made you guys watch highly rated films from his favorite directors during class and series like ‘Lost’ and ‘Designated Survivor’ for weekend homework. When it came to the first assignment, which was to pitch film ideas, it was all easy going aside from the one slip up majority of the class, with you included, of not printing it out in the specific format he made clear on the first day.

Strike one.

But when the time came to start working on the final project, as it is a full script for a film, the stress of it all came piling up. Mr. Chon gave out assignments to create character sheets, a lesson he never gave on, and expected you to submit a properly written one from research alone.

But before you can even create character sheets, he had to choose and approve a logline from the ones you’ve submitted beforehand. You tried to be nice and formal in your emails to him, always ending the message with a “Thank you and God bless.”

His replies sounded harsh despite the lack of words that would support that description. He had reprimanded you for submitting an edited version of the logline you presented in class, saying that no matter how good it was, if it was not submitted properly the day he had expected to receive it on a printed paper, he had expected you to revise all off them.

Strike two.

So you apologized for your mistake and made new loglines; and luckily he had chosen one that suited his taste. When it came to creating a character sheet, you were reprimanded for the format and given an example on how to make a proper one. However, you didn’t quite understand the file he had sent and took your chance into making minor changes to your previous submission, taking into account the little information you’ve understood from the text.

Strike three.

He reprimanded you (AGAIN), through email, for the ‘pathetic’ edit you’ve made. Ordering you to personally consult him after class or through scheduled one-on-one meetings in the Comm office where two other assistants can be witnesses to the whole ordeal.

This was indeed disadvantageous to you because while your classmates had the freedom to consult him 24/7 through email, you had to wait for class--one you had once a week--before you can even officially start anything, and that’s IF he approves anything.

At this point, you gave up; on him, the class, and your grade. It might be too late to officially drop out of class, but you can use up all your allowed absences until he’s failed you for it.

You were upset at your decision but it was the best sounding option you had, even Taeyong agreed to it because he couldn’t even get his loglines approved. You agreed to accompany him when he had his one-on-one consultation for his third revision of loglines and nearly half an hour later, he practically stormed out of the office while violently whispering to you that he was joining your little ‘boycott’ of the subject after Mr. Chon told him to revise everything again in the most passive aggressive manner.

Both of you had three allowed absences before your final grades would be considered FA (Failure due to Absences) and the two of you spent the supposed class hours together instead to ease each other of the anxiety of it all.

“I hate him.” You snarled, throwing your head back to gulp the can of beer Taeyong had offered you. “It wasn’t even fair to begin with!”

It was the last allowed absence you had for class. The thought of it made you cry, thinking how it would tarnish your records and disappoint your parents if they find out.

Taeyong wipes your tear with his thumb. You had oddly gotten close with Taeyong because of the elective; working together to do your assignments, consulting one another for suggestions, and especially sharing mutual hate for the class. It was maybe a month and a half already, but it’s as if you and Taeyong had been friends since freshman year.

“We both enrolled and paid on time for the original class and prof, why were we the ones moved?” You sniffed, silently thanking Taeyong for inviting you to his dorm so you could vent out your feelings to someone who understands the situation.

“I know. But the system sucks, what can a couple of students do against them?” He sighs, rubbing his eyes in frustration; probably wanting to cry as well with how his voice shook. He was his organization’s vice president and he had plans to run as president the next year, but with an FA grade, he doubts he can even make the minimum CQPA to run as treasurer. “Ah, hyung would be so disappointed if I don’t take his spot as org president.”

You glance at the wall clock as you take another gulp of beer, “T-there’s like 30 minutes before class actually starts… should we just go?”

Taeyong snaps his attention towards you, “Are you crazy? And what will we say for ditching class for two meetings? We don’t have anything to present to him. He might as well give us an ‘F’ as fat as him if we show up empty handed.”

You hated how he was right; Mr. Chon would probably eat you alive in front of class for doing so. “Yeah, w-we shouldn’t. We need to commit to this stupid idea of ours.”

A phone begins to ring and Taeyong stands up to answer the call outside.

You let your gaze wander around the room, noting how clean and organized it was. You vaguely remember him telling you how he always cleaned up after his roommate, but he took no offence to it, rather enjoying the act of tidying up as a stress reliever or time killer.

As you finish off your beer, you receive a notification for a new email from no other than Mr. Chon, reminding you of the consequences if you don’t show up to class and the way he had worded it so condescendingly made your blood boil, and on top of that had it CC’d to both assistants AND the chairperson of the department, you just felt utter rage from embarrassment.

You put your phone down before you could even reply with the most improper and vulgar message you can think of. At the same time, you hear the front door slam and Taeyong is stalking into the room; face red and nostrils flared.

Before you could even ask, he’s screaming in frustration: “Our president found out that I’m purposefully failing a class and is demanding me to attend it! He even went as far as threatening to take me off my position as vice president!”

“Then make him go through the class and let’s see how he deals with Mr. Chon, who, by the way, just emailed us. He’s reminding us of the consequences and you know what’s worse? He had copies of the email sent to both assistants and the chairperson of the department! Like, was that even necessary?”

“What the hell?” He checks his phone immediately, scowling when he finds the email. “What is his problem?! Does he get off of our misery or something? I’ve never dealt with this kind of prof before! He doesn’t even fucking teach!”

You don’t really know Taeyong long enough to think formulate this opinion, but you’ve never seen him so angry and honestly, he looked hot.

Maybe he caught how you looked at him, but one second he’s ready to spit out more hate, instead he slams his lips over yours, grabbing the sides of your face with his hands after dropping his phone to the floor.

It caught you off guard; making you stumble back a few steps at how he met your lips, your hands flying to grasp the cloth of his shirt around his waist. He steadies you against him, slipping his fingers over your nape as his tongue licks your bottom lip.

When you part your lips to make way for him, he wastes no time slipping the wet muscle into your mouth and exploring the warm cavern. You both moan at the contact of your tongues, tasting each other of the beers and mints you previously had.

“Fuck,” He gasps in between kisses, “I’m sorry, I don’t know what came over me.”

“It’s okay, it’s okay. You look so hot when you’re angry.” You guide his hand over your chest.

“Yeah?” Taeyong squeezes your breast, moving his lips onto your jaw. He slides his thigh between your legs and rubs it over your crotch, hurriedly.

Stifling a moan, you stretch your neck out to give him more access and thread your fingers through his hair as you grind yourself on him.

He brings his mouth over yours again after slipping his hands under your shirt to get a better feel of your boobs, pressing his thumbs over your nipples until they were pert to his touch. He helps you out of your blouse, using the moment your lips are separated to unhook your bra. While he shrugs out of his own shirt, you fall to your knees and begin to to unzip his pants.

Once you were able to push his pants down and free his cock out of his briefs, you engulf most of his length as best as you can, tightening a grip on the few centimeters with one hand.

Taeyong cusses above you, moaning low as he combs your head back.

A ringtone erupts from below you and you fish out his phone out of his pants, handing it to him before resuming your previous act. “Answer it.”

He swallows hard as he obeys your request, not even giving the caller ID a glance before picking it up. “Hello?”

You watch him through your lashes, continuing to lick the underside of his cock.

“Wha-Calm down! I’ve made up mind! I’m not going to class and it’s way too late now.” He shouts into his phone, catching you by surprise.

You meant to pull away but his hand pushes you back down his cock, forcing the tip all the way to the back of your throat. You thank your ability to control your gag reflex and let yourself get used to the feeling; hollowing out your cheeks as he thrusts into your mouth.

“Shit, li-listen, I’m n-not going to beg Mr. Chon to let me back in class! I--what? So what if I’m with a girl-- I didn’t-- Prez, you’re being ridiculous!” He growls, pushing you away and kicking his pants completely off in anger. “You can’t just kick me off the team! I’m--”

You rise up from the floor, wiping the spit that dribbled down your chin. Warily, you watched Taeyong huff at his phone, ready to throw it to the ground but glances at you.

In a beat, he’s turning you around and pinning you against the back of an armchair; making quick work of your jeans and pushing them down your ankles with his foot once he got it past your knees.

“Did he threaten to kick you off the team?” You quietly ask, breathing rapidly as Taeyong cards his fingers through your pussy.

“He already has. He’s so abusive with his power! He was only elected president because he has connections to sponsors.” He grumbles behind you, “He also keeps reusing past choreo for new pieces! No one has the guts to call him out for it. I even made the fucking mistake of trying to befriend him because now I just get pushed around by him!”

You reach behind you to guide his cock into your pussy, “Let it out, Taeyong. If you’re really off the team, you’re not his lacke--”

You’re cut-off with a gasp as Taeyong surges forward, penetrating into you.

“I’m not his lackey!” He hisses, clawing your hips for support as he thrusts his hips repeatedly. “I’m the fucking vice president of the dance team!”

“What kind of president pushes around the VP like that then? Are you sure you were elected as vice president and not his lackey?”

“Stop calling me that!” He yells, snapping his hips harder into yours and eliciting a high shriek from you.

You bend over the armchair, grabbing at the pillows to anchor yourself against the force Taeyong was going at. You can feel your walls already accommodating his girth as they pushed in and out of you. Your lower abdomen tightens as your legs start to quiver in excitement; your orgasm is coming faster than you anticipated.

“T-Tae, I’m going to-- I’m really, really close--”

He grunts, moving you to the couch while still pounding into you. He only pulls you off of his dick to spin you around so you would be facing him and sits down, wasting no time as he hooks his fingers around your thighs to have you sit on his lap.

“You know,” He starts, guiding his cock back into your awaiting entrance, “That goddamn class is the reason why our president is so harsh on me. I was either going to practices late or leaving early to work on our stupid assignments.”

“Ugh, the root of all our problems is because of that goddamn class! It’s still unfair how we were transferred to Mr. Chon’s class.” You adjusted your legs so you could carry your weight as you begin to ride him.

“Don’t even mention that asshole! He keeps bragging about how he wrote scripts for indie films and how he was mentored by great, award-winning scriptwriters, but he never bothered actually teaching us shit.” He punctuates his complaint with a hard thrust upwards.

You moan out loud, dragging the sound until your head is situated on the crook of his neck. “Do that again.”

He obeys--multiple times; each with an insult towards your professor.

“Aah, I’m comi--!” Taeyong pulls you in for a kiss, drowning out your cries of pleasure as he holds your hips down for him to drive his cock into with a more calculated force.

You come with your toes curled and head thrown back in a silent cry while Taeyong thumbs furious circles over your clit and chases after his own high.

“In me, in me.” You chant, still shaking from your release.

Taeyong moans, “Shit, really?”

After confirming with a nod, he shoots his load into you; sensing immense warmth overcome your belly as you help him ride it out. When you take his cock out and proceed to sit back down on his lap, you can already feel it drip out of you.

“I can’t believe I got off for being so pissed.” Taeyong breathes, covering his eyes with his palm. “I hope I didn’t hurt you.”

“Not at all.” You clamber off of him, dropping your weight to the space beside him. “I liked it and I guess… sort of needed it, too.”

He turns his head towards you and snorts, “We deserved it after that hell of an elective. We’ll be weakshits to those who stayed, but whatever, yeah?”

“I value my sanity, thank you.” You laugh and he joins you. “The only thing good that came out of this was you.”

Taeyong’s lips twitched into a smile, “Yeah. We wouldn’t have met if not for that damned class. If we didn’t help each other out with Chon’s assignments…”

“We would have died way earlier.”

He chuckles, “Yeah, but, uhm, no, not just that… what I mean is that I wouldn’t have gotten to know you and,”

You blink at him, “And?”

“I can’t do this with my dick out, [Y/N]. Hold on.”

“Your dick is fine--it’s amazing, in fact.” You grab his shoulders when he tried to get up, “Taeyong, I like you.”

Taeyong bursts out laughing, “We’re really confessing in the nude?”

“Think of it this way: if you feel the same way, it’s so much easier to get down to business.” You cock a brow at him and he shrugs with puckered lips.

“Then, I like you, too.” He says, twisting his torso to face you and dragging his thumb across your lower lip, “So, round two?”

Snorting, you cup his face and pull him in for a kiss, “How about we exclude shitty profs and abusive friends?”

Taeyong hoists you up in his arms, carrying you so that either of your legs were secured over his hips. He starts to walk away from the couch, grinning at you as you squealed in surprise at his action, “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

a/n: this feels so rushed because of my internet situation ;A;

#nct smut #taeyong smut #kinkmas2018

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huphilpuffs · 6 years

Text

between the lines

summary: Dan’s failing his English class, so Phil is enlisted to tutor him. University AU. word count: 3350 rating: g warnings: none a/n: Written for @phanfictionhoe for @phandomficfests holiday exchange! I hope you like it! And big thanks to @insectbah for beta’ing.

ao3 link

“Hey Dan?”

He looks up, hands hovering halfway to his backpack. The only good part about English class so far is that he doesn’t have a textbook to carry around with him.

“Yes, sir?”

His tutor smiles, kind.

All the staff here seem too kind. Dan kind of wishes they were scary. That would make it easier to hate them.

“Do you have a class now?”

Dan swallows. “No, sir.”

“Can we talk for a moment, then?”

He lifts his hands from his bag. Walking into his tutorial today had already been dreadful. The heavy feeling he’d been carrying in his chest since a few days ago comes back. He settles back into his seat, listening to every other student leave the room with rustling papers and loud footsteps.

The doors at the uni are too heavy. They always fall closed with a loud thud.

His tutor comes towards him only after the last student’s left. Nathan, he told them to call him during the first tutorial. Calling people with actual PhDs by their first name still feels foreign on Dan’s tongue, though.

He sits down across from Dan, still smiling.

“I’m sure you saw your grade on the first essay,” he says.

Dan swallows. The pressure in his chest is worse. “Uh, yeah.”

Nathan nods. “As you know, a 36% is a failing grade.”

“I know,” says Dan. “Am I–”

He cuts himself off. Asking if he’s in trouble sounds stupid. He’s supposed to be an adult now.

Supposedly.

Nathan shakes his head. “No, you’re okay. There’ll be opportunities to bring your grade up,” he says. “Actually, the professor is working with the university to help students who are struggling. We’re trying to match students up with student tutors. Are you interested?”

He isn’t, not really. But Dan nods anyway.

Nathan smiles, again. “Okay. I’ll email you once I know the details, okay?”

Dan just nods dumbly, slumped back in his seat.

“You’re free to go,” says Nathan.

“Oh,” says Dan. He stumbles to his feet, slings his backpack over his shoulder, and rushes out the door.

He has almost an hour left before his metaphysics lecture.

And he really needs coffee.

---

He gets the email with the details on a Tuesday.

A few hours later, he gets another email from a guy called Phil that’s a little less formal, a little more nerdy. It’s almost enough to put Dan at ease.

He reads it sitting in his ethics tutorial, waiting for the class to start.

Hello,

My name’s Phil and I’m going to be your tutor for ENGL10021. I’m a third year student doing English Language and Linguistics, by the way. I’ll be on campus tonight if you want to meet up. Let me know!

Phil ^.^

---

His brain feels numb when he leaves the tutorial.

Ethics is confusing. His brain is all muddled. There’s an essay coming up and the thought of it has his breaths coming quicker, tighter, a little too desperate. Dan clutches the straps of his bag and rushes down the stairs, almost stumbling over his own feet.

He needs more coffee.

Not that it fixes anything.

Dan ends up at Starbucks, one near campus that’s always too full. Someone pulls the door open. Dan rushes in before it falls closed. He feels jittery. His heart’s beating too fast.

He takes two steps into the store before realizing he’s not paying attention.

“Fucking shit. ”

Dan blinks. He’s standing still, suddenly, and there’s a boy standing in front of him, staring with wide eyes. His shirt is stained, wet and sticking to his skin.

It takes Dan a moment to realize he’s drenched in the shit, too.

“Fuck,” he repeats. “Watch where you’re fucking going, why don’t you?”

“I–” says the boy. He looks almost defensive, but it fades into something softer. “Sorry, I will. You should, too, though.”

Bitterness flares, angry, in Dan’s chest, but he doesn’t argue. The boy lingers there for a moment. He has black hair, cutting across his forehead in a fringe that mirrors Dan’s, and his eyes are still just a little too wide.

“I, uh, have a lecture,” the boy blurts. His coffee — iced, thankfully — is half empty, the plastic lid hanging off the straw, but he doesn’t bother to fix it before leaving.

Dan leaves without getting coffee.

---

His leg is bouncing when he sits down at the library.

The floor, Green 2 because it’s the only social one in the main library, is full of people chatting with their friends and Dan feels stupid, sitting at a table by himself. He didn’t even have time to go back to his room to pick up his English books.

He should have gotten coffee before coming, he thinks. It’s the only thing keeping him going by this point.

“Dan?”

He jumps, swivels in his chair and–

“Fuck, please don’t say you’re Phil.”

The boy standing there offers half a smile. “Sorry to disappoint?”

Dan’s leg starts bouncing again. His chest feels too tight. He tries to remember the topics for his ethics essay to distract himself, but all that does is make his breaths come faster, his mind go a little more hazy around the edges. He doesn’t want to think about philosophy.

Uni’s making him not want to think about anything.

“Hey, you okay?” says Phil.

He forces his eyes open. Phil’s sitting across from him now, his bag on the table. There’s a coffee-coloured stain on his shirt.

Dan helped put it there.

“I can’t fail this fucking class,” he says. “You can’t let me fail.”

Phil frowns. “Why would I let you fail?”

Dan shrugs, motioning vaguely towards Phil’s chest. He’s still not breathing properly.

“Oh, this?” Phil’s smile quirks wider, happier, a little more crooked. “It’s nothing. I’ll get my mum to wash it tonight and it’ll be fine.”

He sounds so genuine that Dan manages to stop jittering for a moment.

“Now, tell me about yourself?” says Phil. “What are you studying?”

Dan manages half a smile back. “Philosophy,” he says. “Since English clearly isn’t my strong suit.”

Phil laughs, and the tightness in Dan’s chest starts to fade.

---

“Did you get a chance to meet your tutor?” asks Nathan after the next tutorial.

Dan’s hand is hovering on the doorknob. Everyone else has already left, and part of him wonders why he didn’t rush out of his seat to avoid this conversation. He turns around, smiling.

“Yes,” he says. “Thank you for arranging it.”

“Of course,” says Nathan. “Do you think he’ll be able to help you?”

His smile grows a little more genuine, then. He tries not to think of Phil telling him about the time he forgot to study for his first exam because he was too busy binge-watching Buffy for the too-manieth time. Dan had told him, in turn, about the time he forgot to study for A-levels because of Mortal Kombat.

“Yeah, I think so.”

Nathan just nods, and doesn’t say another word as Dan slips out the door.

---

“So I looked at your essay,” says Phil as he sits down at their next meeting.

He booked a room in the English department this time, one with big windows open into the hallway that make Dan want to squirm in his seat every time someone walks by. Not that it matters what the English profs think of him. He’s probably never going to come back after he’s done this course.

“And?”

Phil smiles. He drops Dan’s essay, annotated in red ink, onto the table between them and his backpack onto the floor. There’s a little Yoshi plushie hanging off the handle.

Seeing it eases just a bit of Dan’s anxiety.

“I think you overanalyze.”

“That’s what Nathan said, too,” says Dan. “I, uh, don’t really know what it means.”

Phil chuckles, but it doesn’t seem mocking. “It is kinda vague, huh?”

Dan nods. He reaches forward, grabbing the essay to read some of the notes Phil made, written in messier handwriting around Nathan’s.

“You’re a philosophy major, right?” says Phil.

He hums. “Yup.”

“That could explain it.”

“Oy!” Dan looks up. Phil’s leaning forward in his seat, grinning. “Is that a jab at my major?”

Phil lifts his hands, hitting himself in the forehead as he does, swiping his fringe away from his eyes. He laughs, and his tongue pokes out between his teeth, and something goes tight in Dan’s chest.

He tries not to think about it too much.

“Not at all,” says Phil. “Or maybe a little. I don’t know. You just seem like someone prone to overthinking things. But that’s not a bad thing.”

He seems sincere. Dan can’t bring himself to be upset about it.

His finger drifts along the edge of his essay as he looks back down.

“Fine, then tell me about this overanalyzing thing.”

---

By their fifth session, Dan knows more about Phil.

He knows about his schedule, which leaves his Tuesday afternoons free at the same time as Dan’s are and usually has them booking their meetings then. He knows he plays Mario games, like Dan does, and grew up playing something called Bubble Bobble that had Dan teasing him about being old.

Phil’s favourite type of book is horror, Dan had learned last week, after wondering if it was the type of story they were analyzing that made the class so hard.

“I couldn’t have done lit,” Phil had said. “All the character-driven plots would have driven me insane.”

Dan had bit at his lip, offered a grin. “I like them,” he’d said. “Even if I over-analyze them.”

Phil had nudged their feet together under the table, back at the library that time. “That’s why philosophy’s perfect for you,” he’d said, smiling.

He’s smiling again today, over the edge of his syntax textbook, as Dan highlights passages in a short story called The Yellow Wallpaper they were asked to read. Dan has to force himself to stare at the text instead of the way Phil’s eyes seem to shine in the too-bright light of the English Department.

Dan drops the highlighter when he’s finished reading. Phil’s textbook is already closed and resting on his lap when he looks up.

“You did well,” he says.

“You haven’t even looked over my work,” says Dan.

“I saw what you were doing.” There’s a hint of laughter in Phil’s eyes as he says it. He leans over the table, closer to Dan, and tugs the text towards him. “What’d you think of the ending?”

Dan groans, letting his body collapse onto the table. “Now you’re just asking me to overanalyze.”

Phil laughs, warm and happy, and knocks their knees together under the table. They’re sitting closer today.

That’s another thing that’s changed over the past few weeks.

“Unless you come up with a true conspiracy theory,” he says, “I really don’t think you can overanalyze this ending. It’s pretty abstract.”

“Pretty? It doesn’t even make sense.”

He glares at the story, groans, and presses his head into his elbow to ignore it, just for a moment.

Then Phil’s hand is settling on his shoulder, squeezing gently.

“You don’t have to write an essay on this one, remember?” he says. “You just have to understand it enough for a quiz.”

Dan smiles even though Phil can’t see it.

Phil’s hand stays on his shoulder until Dan lifts his head and gets back to work.

---

Their sixth meeting is back in the library.

Phil shows up with his backpack on his shoulders and two cups of coffee in his hands. He sets one, the one with Dan’s name scribbled across the side, in front of Dan, grinning.

“Do you like caramel macchiatos?”

Dan reaches for it. The cup is warm against his palm, the drink too hot when he takes a sip, but Dan smiles at the sweetness anyway. Of his drink, and, he realizes a moment after the feeling settles in his chest, of Phil, too.

“Yeah,” he says. “I like them.”

Phil’s smile only widens.

He takes the seat next to Dan, humming around a sip of his own drink as their knees brush together under the table.

“Good,” he says. “It’s getting chilly outside, you have to take care of yourself.”

Dan nods, presses his leg back against Phil’s. “You didn’t have to.”

“I wanted to,” says Phil. “Besides, I have, uh, YouTube money to spend.”

His cheeks go a little pink, and Dan knows he should be taking out his essay outline to have Phil help him look it over, but he doesn’t want to. Not when Phil’s scratching at the black ink scribbled on the side of his cup with the tip of his fingernail, staring at the tabletop. Not when his leg is still pressed against Dan’s.

“You do YouTube?”

Phil’s chuckle is quiet, almost embarrassed. “Just a bit. It doesn’t actually make me enough money for Starbucks, but it’s fun,” he says.

“I do too,” says Dan, and Phil looks up, eyes wide. “Not enough to make any money, but it’s, uh fun. Yeah.”

“That’s awesome.” Phil’s smile has spread across his whole face again. “What kind of videos do you make? Would I like them?”

“Um, how do you feel about self deprecating humour and attempts at self-analysis?”

His gaze flits over Dan’s fringe, over his hoodie. “Let me guess, you went through an emo phase, too?”

“I’m not sure if I resent or appreciate your use of the past tense,” says Dan.

Phil laughs so much his tongue sticks out between his teeth and his shoulder presses against Dan’s.

Dan has to try very hard not to let warmth bubble up in his chest again, without coffee to blame this time.

---

They meet up at Starbucks the eighth time.

Dan has another caramel macchiato in his hands, his final essay laid out across the table between them. Phil has a croissant that has his fingers a little buttery, so he smudges oil on the paper whenever he points out an error. He picks it apart and pops bites into his mouth, grinning around them as Dan marks the recommendations in red pen.

“There’s not much to correct this time,” says Phil.

He still has a little bit of food in his mouth. Dan thinks he should probably be more disgusted than he is.

“I already corrected most of it,” he says, smiling to hide the warmth he feels in his cheeks.

Phil shrugs. “Still, you’re learning how to write for English instead of Philosophy,” he says. “It’s getting easier, isn’t it?”

The corner of his mouth is quirked up, his smile crooked. Dan doesn’t realize he’s drawn a slash of red ink across the page until Phil’s eyes crinkle with a quiet giggle.

“End of the semester getting to you?”

His foot nudges Dan’s. He blames how small the two-person Starbucks tables are, wedged into a corner like this with their long legs. It doesn’t keep his chest from going warm, though. He’s grown used to that, when Phil says something nice and he feels his whole body react to it.

“A bit,” says Dan. “It’s not even done yet. We’re just getting a break then it continues.”

“With exams,” says Phil. His nose crinkles, and Dan’s stomach goes tight. “It’s pretty much a study break.”

“I’m just gonna procrastinate studying until the last day, I already know it.”

Phil’s smile softens then. He takes another bite of his croissant, swallowing it with a sip of coffee, letting the silence linger. Dan takes a sip of his drink to fill it, to ignore the way his heart is suddenly pounding for no reason whatsoever.

“Maybe I could remind you to study?” says Phil. His cheeks have gone pink. He’s fidgeting over the table so much Dan’s fairly certain he’s going to tear his bread to shreds. “You know, if you give me your number.”

Dan wants to quip that they’d probably get too distracted talking to actually study, but his throat goes tight before he can. He hands over his phone, and tries not to let Phil see his smile.

Tries not to admit he’ll miss this, once his English class is over.

Phil texts him, and grins when Dan’s phone vibrates on the tabletop. He doesn’t go to grab it at first, but Phil keeps staring at him, all wide eyes and expectation.

Dan can’t help but smile when he reads the messages.

Hi it’s Phil ^.^ I was thinking we should meet up after your exam

if you want I mean

no pressure

He grins as he types back: ill text u when i get out

Phil clicks his tongue. “Grammar, Dan. You’ll never get your grade up like this.”

Dan’s laugh rumbles as they both set their phones down to finish their drinks, to look over the rest of Dan’s paper.

Their legs are still brushing under the table.

---

They text over winter break.

There’s a conversation on the train about whether all the snow is melting as he gets further south. And another where Phil asks about his childhood bedroom, for whatever reason. Dan sends him a picture of Bangy just so he can sit down on the sofa and imagine the way Phil’s eyes gleam when he’s happy.

He gets a message on Christmas morning that comes with a picture of Phil in his pyjamas, hugging a gift box to his chest.

Dan smiles so wide his mum asks who he’s texting in the lilted voice that makes his cheeks burn red. He hopes Phil can’t tell in the photo he sends back.

They do talk about schoolwork, sometimes, in timed study sessions. Dan’s pretty sure he’s too distracted to remember anything about Parfit or Kant or Plato, but he can’t bring himself to care. Not when he needs to catch up on studying, alone late at night, and not when Phil admits studying together is a little distracting, too.

One time, Phil makes a comment about how they’ll need to play their new games together sometime.

Another, Dan insinuates that Phil will see his room back at uni, and Phil doesn’t protest.

And there’s a text on New Years, at midnight, that makes Dan’s whole body go warm and giddy, just a little bit of alcohol in his stomach and a lot of thoughts he probably shouldn’t have in his head.

He’s dreading finals when break ends, but he smiles the whole train ride home.

---

They meet up outside Starbucks after the final.

Or, well, between Starbucks and the lecture hall when Dan wrote the test, because Phil’s walking towards him, bag slung over one shoulders, bobble hat on his head.

Dan’s steps are bouncy. His shoulders feel light, his bag filled with only his wallet and pencil case, a whole semester of work falling away. He doesn’t mean to when he reaches out, wraps an arm around Phil’s shoulders, but Phil’s arm curls at his waist and he’s pretty sure it’s okay.

Phil’s grinning. His cheeks are rosy, the tip of his nose red with winter cold. Dan smoothes a bare hand across his cheek. His heart is racing with the knowledge that he can, that Phil isn’t flinching away.

And he kisses him, soft and warm and grateful.

Phil kisses back.

His whole body feels warm when he pulls away, even as the wind sweeps under his jacket. His cheeks, he knows, are bright red. So are Phil’s, though.

“Shit,” says Dan.

“What?”

“Didn’t mean to do that.”

The corner of Phil’s mouth quirks, eyes falling to the ground between them. His blush blooms up his cheeks, pinkening the tips of his ears more than the cold already had. Dan’s not sure if it’s intentional or caused by nerves when Phil squeezes his hip.

“I’m glad you did,” says Phil. His voice is shaky. He draws away slowly, tucking his hands into his pockets and tilting his head so the bobble on his hat flops to the side. “Still want coffee?”

“As long as you’re not going to tutor me again.”

Phil laughs and leads the way to Starbucks.

#phan #phanfic #phanfiction #callie writes words #i'm just gonna post both of them now

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luisneer · 7 years

Text

selected tweets 2016-17

These are tweets from my first @luisneer twitter account. Recently I made a new twitter account with the same username, after having deleted my account and having been without twitter for several months. These tweets are from August 2016 to March 2017, which was most of my first year of college at Shepherd University, in Shepherdstown, West Virginia. I don't go to Shepherd anymore; I transferred to West Virginia University, in Morgantown, WV, after my second semester. My tweets from late March 2017 to [July or August] 2017, when I deleted my twitter, were not archived.

I'm creating this blog post so the world will have access to some of my tweets from the deleted @luisneer, in case they have any merit as literature. I'm still not sure if I will continue to use twitter in 2018/the future. Usually when I use twitter I feel like I'm actually wanting to be doing something else, but I don't know what; or wanting to be using "another app" that doesn't exist. Twitter generally seems bad for me. Questions about my tweets August 2016-March 2017 can be directed at [email protected]. Thank you

2016

morgantown has ~48 vape shops

**morgantown has ~480 vape shops

siri has werner herzog-like inflections

considering changing outfits when i take several walks in one day (so nobody thinks im a serial killer, stalker, spy, alien)

think i remember ~5% of things i said today

imagined vague connection btwn 'vitamin d' and 'reptar'

felt distinctly that i was a monkey or chimpanzee while crouching in the corner of my dorm room eating peanuts out of a jar

just thought (as a request to my mom) 'fax me my skateboard...'

looked at toilet in bathroom stall with expression of 'utter terror' for what felt like ~15 seconds while it flushed

listening to bright eyes with headphones at house show

feel that the toothpaste i use is advancing decay of my teeth

feel 100% certain that i could train myself to use telepathy to operate my phone during classes

enjoying the sensation of my right leg 'falling asleep' during psychology class (left foot is also 'asleep')

felt 'sociopathic' after eye contact w library worker who watched me pick up & pocket a pair of apple headphones someone had left on a chair

left stolen apple headphones on gray bench across the street from my dorm

repeatedly placed/removed sunglasses while walking in hallway

strong desire to remove all positive patterns from my life and perpetuate/embrace all negative ones

feel that my laptop 'knows' which parts of its screen im looking at

in winchester, VA

thought of my own music as having 'no compelling audible elements'

thought of myself as being legally named 'the fuck up', then couldnt remember my actual name

successfully, i feel, duplicated 'sociopath facial expression' during eye contact with arch-nemesis in stairwell

ive taken 13800mg ibuprofen since i got to college

feel compelled to ask my 9 yr old brother for advice re 'college-level' personal issues

feel smart after sitting on couch in painting studio + reading art magazines for 2 hours

persistent notion that 100% of students at my college personally hate me

psychology professor muttered something like 'scary snake... endocrine system...'

feeling heavily drugged/sedated in psych class

psych professor seems obsessed with/terrified by snakes

imagined kanye smoking crystal meth and tweeting something like 'please help me... cant feel mouth... need help'

saw a moth at open mic, thought about god

experiencing difficulty trying to smile

enjoying using numerous cliches ('the case is closed', 'taking a step back', 'harsh realities') in an essay

intrigued by conversation i had 9 hrs ago w/ 2 boys who countered my tone (calm, eloquent) exactly by being loud and rude in a friendly way

felt simultaneously really cute and really lonely while giggling with my mouth closed in french class

imagined kanye inventing the word 'compactualize' and using it in a sentence during a televised interview

enjoyed 8-sentence john updike bio in norton lit anthology

perceived person standing outside bathroom stall occupied by me could 'sense', via something like echolocation, that i was/am depressed

spoke to french professor in what felt like a distinct persona/alternate luis neer called 'marge simpson voice' luis neer

feel confidently that the public debut of 'marge simpson voice' luis neer was a success

feel that 'marge simpson voice' luis neer is the culmination of an unconscious process that initiated in my mind maybe 3-5 years ago

i want to identify/analyze additional alternate luis neers

i dont like videos

i came to college and got weirder, better at writing, more arrogant, more defeated, more sensible

simultaneously feel that i should run 3 miles and that, at this moment, i would be incapable of running any distance

feel urged to draw new attention to my 'marge simpson voice' tweets

huge power outage at shepherd lol

realized theres no such thing as a 'nation'

remembered ive blown off obligations to several people, not just one person, so my irresponsibility doesnt 'have a focus', felt comforted

feel that my follower count is 'crystallized' / will never increase or decrease ever again

struggled to convert 'stick-and-poke' to past tense during conversation in line at sheetz

feel it would be pleasurable to take a donut + bottle of coca-cola from this sheetz via armed robbery

crossed busy road, felt really surprised i didnt get hit by a car, also i wasnt wearing glasses, was walking to sheetz, bought an icee

laughed alone in my dorm thinking that i should print out a picture of barack obama to put on my wall

drank from separate glasses containing soymilk, coffee, iced coffee, apple juice, cranberry juice, water, sprite for dinner/breakfas

just thought 'from adorno to zizek' sans context while shitting

opened gmail, emailed my father, closed gmail, opened gmail again, viewed email to my father, forwarded it to myself

'camcorder' would be a good band name

i thought arnold palmer had already died

willem dafoe doesnt make me uncomfortable

i want to stop being mean

i hate bfs but i want to be someones bf

wishing i was in a car with friends and no cellular service

tangled up in myself and others

twin peaks is depicted as a small town but its population is greater than that of every city in west virginia including the state capital

eating shark

thought of my own intelligence as 'frightening'

thought while walking to class that ginger ale should be made public domain

had the stitches on my chin removed today, touched the scar tissue for the first time

i miss being in therapy

i love carpet

i love carpet !!

just thought about my own tweets and lol'd

mood lately very fragile

this is what i get for staying up til 5 am

all night i've felt a wave of dread swelling up, now it's really hitting me

sound of laughter in public still frightening + unnerving

my instinct for when to unfriend people on facebook has adapted so that i unfriend people over statuses that make me feel no emotions at all

fuck, im feeling so much terror

gucci mane was born 3 days before conor oberst

the other day i mentioned that i was a poet and this vape guy interrupted me to say "and you didnt know it" and i went fucking nuclear

interacted with mailman who was picking up mail as i was trying to mail chapbooks, he didnt notice at first that i was talking to him

what if old people have secrets

my dad is making me root for a football team but im in pain emotionally

i feel guilty in general

thought of my poem "portrait of a nation without any people" as the "lead single" for my full length; it appeared in potluck 14 months ago

im close friends with satan rn

feel like travis scott never intended for people to spell his name with a $

from now on every time i get honey on something ill list the thing in this thread

finger

desk

coffee cup exterior

pajama pants

knee

carpet

chin

phone

shirt

shoe

thought that my elderly geography prof. moves by "shuffling"

feeling shorter, broader

the only part of the new bright eyes box set i want is the booklet

is there a booklet? i know there are nvr b4 sn photos

the song "lime tree" came to conor oberst in a dream

i like citing things in MLA

i write essays by pretending im werner herzog

doesnt seem to be getting later

lit professor gave my project (sequence of 6 sonnets) a C, i wish she would have gotten me expelled, shelley + ginsberg both were expelled

heard someone in another room ask "where's wal-mart?" as if wal-mart were a person whose location could change

i think i just swallowed a filling while eating popcorn, i am very scared, please help

crazy how things get worse

there are people on my floor having tons of fun and im upset

bit my mattress while sitting in the chair next to my bed

weird that chance the rapper only has 2.4 million followers when he's sort of one of the most famous artists in the world rn

also weird that donald trump has made 34,000 tweets, seems like an incredibly large number

the strangeness of yesterday was, for me, augmented by people on the internet talking about a tv show that ive never seen or heard about

the sunlight is obscene

im so upset about the sun being so bright im afraid to go outside

im glad im the only poet who likes trailer park boys

i slept in a blanket fort under my bed and havent left it all day

yr = your ur = you're

my favorite things are pdfs

now that ive adapted my living space to allow me to never leave my blanket fort i feel like my roommate, omar, exists in a parallel universe

i hear him but i never see him

i love latte art, i drink many lattes

thought that twitter "isn't worth it" in an upset tone while drinking mtn dew

felt pleasant considering uniqueness of all parent-offspring relationships

went through my closet + made sure all shirts and jackets were zipped/buttoned

my blanket is generating flashes of light from static electricity

record store guy became visibly sick of me several months ago; feel a little guilty every time i enter his store to spend money

i prefer EPs

felt "out of control" walking downhill listening to dead kennedys with headphones

writing an essay is difficult because idk how much relevant information other people have already considered / moved on from

have been wanting to write at least one poem inside my blanket fort but i don't think it's going to happen, i don't know why

the internet isn't big enough

usually when i think "i dont understand the uproar about [event]" i realize there is no "uproar"

"uproar" is media's way of manipulating the public spotlight and distracting people from important tasks

feeling helpless + melancholy after dying 15 times and killing 2 stormtroopers in star wars battlefront

the only way to attain conor oberst-level emo hair is to lay in bed and sob for hours

i'm sad

my mom was confused when i told her my first book comes out today

was luis neer in odd future

thought "sometimes i just want to end it and start all over" in an exasperated tone re my goodreads account

becoming increasingly convinced it would be best for me personally to take myself extremely seriously/never joke about myself

thinking that my tweets would seem terrible if i were a senator/governor/other politician

imagined doomsday device for future @starwars movies: the "death train," a normal train that exists in space and destroys planets

how does anyone do it

in science fiction movies, spacecraft usually look like shopping malls

everyone in the world is high except me

feel like i want to have poems published immediately

having delusions of grandeur

im sitting on my record player

my most-used word in 2016 was "bleak"

prepared and ate garbanzo beans w a lot of rosemart at 2:00 AM

my brother has a friend over and is being mean to the friend

all i want for christmas is to never cheer up, ever

watching eyes wide shut and hugging duckuc

my nose feels like it's going to bleed

im sad because every bf looks like me

getting better at eating ice cream by punching it with my tongue

the internet is too freaky...

i think 2017 will be a year of realizing things

im watching the angry birds movie

the angry birds movie is so shitty... why was it made...

ive never had a new years kiss

2017

im weird

eating medicinal ice cream

im not going to do any drugs in 2017

made a medicinal phone call

i want to drink some blood

i dreamed that roger ebert wrote a negative review of life after ppl and called it "liner notes"

years dont kill people

feel inexplicably/explicably really scared about the future of my poetry career

i've felt stoned since i was a baby

downloading google earth

made eye contact in starbucks with possible luis neer incarnation from ~50 years in future; bon jovi "dead or alive" played through speakers

realised that at some point in the future i will become extremely interested in watching football

i recommend reading poems extremely slowly while touching the text with your middle finger/index finger

experiencing cognitive dissonance

used phonetic clues to correctly predict meaning of & use the word "tandem" while discoursing with myself internally

i miss steel pedal guitar sounds on conor oberst songs

my previous incarnation "college luis neer" has evolved to become "high school luis neer-like luis neer in college setting"

thought "man, i got to stop caring what people think about me" in an emphatic tone that seemed confusing/interesting

mediocore

beyonce is cool i think

i want to re-read "v for vendetta" and to not tweet about it

remembered that i own a pinata

i will be at awp

how could i make twitter a better place

i saw 4 people wearing yeezys in dc this weekend

feeling increasingly self-conscious about how much i use the phrase "in the world" or refer to "the world" in poems

felt robot-like while attaching detachable headphones cord to my headphones while wearing the headphones

watching shepherd univ lacrosse team practice from "safety of" student center

i invented releasing two chapbooks in one day

im dumber than me

reasoned mentally that im more likely to produce accurate drawings of myself because "i basically look like a bird, so i just draw a bird"

i want to have a "fake tweet" (e.g. a simple phrase) to tweet repeatedly every time i feel urged to tweet an uninformed/unimportant opinion

my fake tweet for the foreseeable future will be "i dropped my textbook in the stairwell". when i tweet this it means i have an opinion

i dropped my textbook in the stairwell

does anyone remember the chapter of "the hobbit" where bilbo avoids starvation by ingesting peanut butter, honey, cherry nyquil, and water

sensed that all my college friends just simultaneously shifted from having vague/non-serious negative feelings about me to hating me

resulting from continuous building of irrepressible/inevitable conjecture in the friends' conscious thoughts

eating chicken and squash

i click on 100% of poetry links tweeted by poets i follow

when i was writing Waves i was obsessed with waves (e.g. energy waves, frequencies) and used the word "waves" at least ~10 times every day

i dropped my textbook in the stairwell

white nike swooshes on shoes of boy in library look vibrant/magical

terrified of being cool

walked to library really slowly while listening to noise music through big headphones

i was really, really yung when i started publishing and i'm still really yung

2 chainz always looks like he's walking in an airport

i have 5 twitters

i didnt know what bill paxton looked like, i was thinking RIP gene hackman

why doesnt anyone blog about me

thesis statements arent real

thinking about my book

i deleted both my tumblrs by accident

sad about my tumblr

my name is all over the internet

im a lizard

someday there'll be no more ppl

a lot of conor oberst song titles have parentheses

feeling sad about the actions of my clone, who passed away

idk how to use venmo or what it is

present-day tumblr is like the end of the never ending story where atreyu is talking with the rock biter and the nothing is swirling around

when someone, anyone, is upset with me im afraid im going to be assassinated

the views-era apple music ads that depict drake working hard in the studio have really affected and inspired me

on tumblr i have 4 followers

almost all of my tweets seem unimportant

feel that if someone told me that one of my tweets made them upset i would just apologize and delete it

ground control to commander venus

i like my new tumblr

i would be wearing a cardigan rn but i dont have one

feel that i will continue to generate bright eyes-related content throughout my life

is everything ok

i look like michael moore

#words

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academla · 7 years

Text

Summer 2017 Update

Hey guys! Finally, another big update post. If you haven’t read these before, I split it into sections: Academic, Financial/Professional, Social, Mental Health, and anything else I feel like. Feel free to skim! (Give this a like if you’re actually reading it because I feel like most people ignore these update posts, which is fine, I’m just curious haha.)

Academic

I go back to school on September 5. I’m super excited, but I think my underlying anxiety has been affecting me a bit.

Classes I’m taking on campus: Classics of Children’s Literature, Abnormal Psychology, and Ethics & Society (an Honors seminar).

Classes I’m taking online: History of World Civilizations Before 1500 & Child Psychology.

Here are some comments on each class so far (I’m nothing if not thorough, guys):

Children’s Lit: Well, Harry Potter is on the reading list, so I’m already there. I’ve emailed the professor already and she seems super nice, so I’m pretty excited. The syllabus is a bit intimidating; I’m sure it will be fine, though, and having a nice professor makes a huge difference.

Abnormal Psych: I’m going to have the same prof as I did for Intro, and I’m really pumped about that (so is she). I’m nervous because the tests are harder and longer, but she was very reassuring that I’ll be fine. There was a whole issue because I thought that Abnormal had service learning linked to it (service learning is basically where you get experience doing things related to the course, so essentially volunteer/internship work) and was planning to use an internship that has been in the works since the winter for that. However, turns out that it isn’t linked. My prof was super nice and said she would be flexible. I emailed my adviser in a bit of a panic, and she informed me that actually service learning is no longer a requirement of my major. So, I’m going to go ahead and do the internship for my resume, but not have to worry about the assignments and grade aspect.

Ethics & Society: I don’t know anything about this really, but I do know that the professor is well-liked and I’ve seen him a few times.

History: Okay, so I hate history. I’m quite well-rounded as a student and I know that I’m lucky that most classes, I do very well in and enjoy. But history just... I don’t even know. My history teachers in the past have all thought I was really good, and I was grade-wise; I simply didn’t enjoy it. So to make this bearable, I know I need to have a professor I like. I was going to take it on campus, and emailed briefly with the professor I was going to have, but he had bad RateMyProfessors ratings and struck me as not very personable or understanding or nice. I checked about online courses and saw that there is one being taught by the director of the Honors College that I’m in, whom I really like and has a great reputation and ratings. Unfortunately there is a $125 fee associated with online courses that I wasn’t aware of, but cost-benefit wise, I really think I’ll be happiest like this.

Child Psych: Oh GOD. Why am I so extra? I emailed the prof once and she was super nice. Then I replied, and since online courses are different from real-life ones in that you don’t really get that ‘getting-to-know-you’ vibe with professors because it’s so remote, I mentioned that I can be an anxious student. I just said basically that means sometimes I’ll ask a lot of questions or check and double-check things for reassurance. I also asked if she was a professor willing to look at drafts or not. She completely got the wrong impression and sent back an email (that was quite final too; signed it “All the best”) as though I had been a hysterical student coming to her with anxiety that I had no idea how to handle. She told me that there are personal counseling services offered by the college as well as the writing center with writing tutors. I’ve had outside counseling for 7 years, and I’m a writing tutor... so that was ironic and also a little embarrassing. Whoops. Honestly, when I get embarrassed about things like that (which I often do) I kind of remind myself that I’m just there to learn and hopefully earn that A, so what they think of me doesn’t matter that much.

All and all, I’m excited for school to start. I want to learn things and take notes and have stuff to do. I also have waves of anxiety, which I’m working very hard to combat with reality checks and focusing on the positives. Oh, and I got an A somehow on my chem accelerated summer course :)

Financial

I have worked two jobs this summer after a lot of miscommunication and lack of clarity:

A preschool, the same one I worked at during my gap year. It was unfortunate because I thought I was going to work full-time there after my chem course, but they didn’t need me because they had so much help. I ended up working Thursdays and Fridays there and Monday through Wednesday at my dad’s job. Now that all the summer help is leaving, though, they’re back to being in desperate need. Everyone there is pretty stressed (and families have been leaving).

At the place my dad works. They produce food and formula for people with metabolic disorders (primarily PKU). I was extremely appreciated there, which was nice, and I got a $4 raise on my second week! They’re desperately understaffed and having problems with their products, as well as not being able to keep up with general demand. I electronically filed faxes dating back to 2016, stuffed envelopes (my favorite), put in tons of orders (one day I put in 34 out of a total 62 orders that day), and by the end was allowed to check emails and reply to some of them. I LOVED the job. However, there’s the possibility I might be able to work there on Fridays during the school year, which I would love. It’s stressful there because there’s so much shit going on and people are basically running around putting out fires all day, but I enjoy my work so much.

During the year, I’m hoping to work at my dad’s job on Fridays, do my psychology internship (if you don’t recall, I’m going to be working at a VA hospital helping with a study on suicide prevention), and tutor! I’m a math and writing tutor. They’re two completely different trainings and types of tutoring, so it should be interesting. Luckily we get to shadow a writing tutor for awhile before being on our own.

I’m not doing well with money, guys. The entire year of 2017, I’ve only made $300 or so. I’ve spent $1,800 on school, even with scholarships, and $940 on medical things such as medication and copays. I did win a $1,000 scholarship which has been very delayed in arriving and I’m praying it will get here by the end of this week or next week so it can be applied to my account. I didn’t work over winter break, which was really my downfall; I needed the time for a mental health break, though... so I’m trying not to beat myself up over it.

Unfortunately it took awhile too for me to lock down my jobs, meaning I only got to work for like 4 or 5 weeks. That really isn’t very much money even with the raise I got. Right now I’m owing $615 per month for my payment plan, and even with tutoring and potential Fridays at my dad’s job, I’m definitely going to lose money. I’m considering taking one winter class online, so I can still work all winter break. That $125 extra fee from my web class sure didn’t help me.

But I must soldier on! I’m going to make sure that none of my money ever goes to frivolous things and never goes to waste. Money is meant to be spent and not hoarded, as my mom reminds me, and it’s okay to spend some on things like going out every so often as well, so I shouldn’t be beating myself up for that (though I still am). School was always going to suck up money. I’m trying very very hard to stay in the moment now and not stress about next semester or worse, what will happen when I get hit with that $30k bill when I transfer and don’t have even close to that much saved.

Social

I’ve changed several times throughout my life socially. In 9th grade, I was extremely social because I needed to be and I had trouble being by myself. It was a lot like that through high school. When I made online friends in 11th grade, they were my social life while drama and bullying and shit went on in real life. Recently, I had a major burst in socialness online, and eventually reached breaking point when I became embroiled in drama.

Look, I’m 20 years old. I’m turning 21 in November. I had to ask myself, why the fuck am I on vacation with family, working on scholarship essays last-minute, and spending my time in the bathroom on my phone dealing with drama with someone years and years younger who’s slandering me to people whose opinions I shouldn’t give two shits about?

That was a big reality check. Because I wanted vengeance, I did. I wanted so badly to expose someone who was gleaning attention and convincing others and spreading half-truths and ruining people’s lives. But then I realized, you know what? That isn’t my goal in life. My goal in life isn’t to tear people down because they’ve torn others down. It’s so, so difficult. I was angry. I was upset. This person violated all of my principles. And we had the evidence against them, we could have potentially won most people over, and I wanted it not for my sake but for the sake of those they had hurt so much more than they hurt me.

But I couldn’t do it. In the end, I called it off. I backed out. I told people to lay off and let karma do its work. I realized how toxic the situation was, how absurd it was for me to be living on the internet when I’m in one of the most exciting periods of my life. How utterly imbecilic I was acting, getting caught up in so much senseless, meaningless, fruitless drama.

After that, I disengaged further from large social groups. I was already overwhelmed by the amount of people always trying to talk to me, so I had to cut myself off from that. And it feels so. Much. Better.

I’ve become more introverted, really. I work all day, then I write fanfiction and watch Netflix and color in my room by myself and I love it. I have any number of people I could hit up anytime and ask to hang out or video chat. But I don’t feel that push, that obsessive need, to be social all the time. Social media became addicting. I still work on that.

I’ve stayed in touch with real-life friends and done things with them when I had the energy, money, and time. Unfortunately my ex and then long-time guy friend both asked me out, and that was incredibly awkward, and the end of that. The trouble with my school is that there are a lot of dual enrollment students who are like, 16 or 17. Much as I love them, I’ve been thirsting for someone my own age with similar interests who I can hang out with. At the tutoring training I attended, I met someone (a guy, oooh). He’s 21 and we had a really good time together. I’m hoping we can hang out once the semester starts! I also met a girl who’s only 17, but she seems very mature and sweet and I also hope to hang out with her.

Things are good socially. I’m always working on that area of my life (with regards to mental health, mostly) but I’m still going strong. I have moments of loneliness for sure. However, I’m happy with myself and happy with my life. That’s what counts.

Mental health

If 10 is completely flawless and 0 is utter breakdown and 5 is rough, I would say my summer has been a solid 7 or 8. Which is pretty damn good!

Areas I’m working on still:

Body image. My ED voice has been loud this summer. That’s probably the area of most concern to me.

Anxiety. It hasn’t been too bad, but with transitions it usually increases, and I’ve noticed myself being more anxious (free-floating anxiety mostly) and irritable in the past few days.

Worrying way too much about others’ opinions. This pretty much traces to the internet. I mean, before I went on hiatus, I had tens of thousands of people criticizing my every word and move. That takes a toll. Moreover, as a fanfic writer, it’s pretty difficult to post things to the internet without craving comments and kudos and hits. I’ve turned off viewing hits for my own sanity, and taken breathers when I felt like I was getting too hung up on the ‘popularity’ of my fics. I write for myself, because I enjoy it. Not for the attention. I just have to remind myself of that from time to time, and I try not to be competitive. It’s really the numbers that get me - the hits and the kudos. I mean, I compare myself to people in different fandoms, fandoms I don’t even write for. It’s so dumb.

All in all, I’m proud of how I’ve been doing. I do have moments of stress mainly about money, but that’s par for the course. I would say I’ve made a 100% improvement from last summer/year and intend to continue doing so, even in light of the impending stressors.

Other

My new favorite movie is Gifted. Oh my god, I love it so much. I’ve seen it like, 5 times (2 of those were illegally whoops). I’ve been fairly active on Snapchat still - add me there edye327. I don’t really have much else to say, except thank you to people who have bought me things from my wishlist that I couldn’t otherwise afford. I haven’t gotten anything recently, but I just wanted to reiterate my appreciation.

If you’ve read this all the way through, reply with the color of your favorite shirt.

Much love,

Edye

#academlets #academla blogs #update #2017 #back to school

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jinxedncharmed · 6 years

Text

Life continues to go suspiciously well for me. I say suspiciously, because I am always suspicious when things are going well, because I expect at any moment for things to go to shit. Things have been difficult for so long, but I continue to feel pretty damn good these days.

Work is meh. Boring. Not much going on. But I enjoy MC's company, and I like talking to M and Queen. I help MC with his work, because I'm a chump. I read, play games, find things to do (aka, spend money). Apply for other jobs, lol. No luck yet, but there are ads out there. I know January and February are the big months for hiring, and with this being the holiday season I'm not totally surprised I'm getting no nibbles, but I'm still a bit discouraged. At least I'm employed, for now, and hopefully will continue to be until I choose to switch to a new place.

M was giving me a bit of grief about it yesterday. "Are you sure you can go?" she pushed, a bit snottily.

"What? Are we talking about MC?"

"No."

"Well then what the hell are you talking about?"

"Oh, well, I guess it is MC."

I was nonplussed. "Yes. It will hurt, but I'm not delusional."

And I'm not. I feel like I spend less time dwelling on him and fantasizing. Not totally eliminating the fantasizing, yet, but working on it. I do enjoy making him laugh though. This week has been pretty chill and we've had fun, and I got some big, genuine laughs out of him a couple of times. Makes me laugh, too. Once he referred to me as "Miss Thompson," I can't remember what we were prattling on about, and I absently corrected him, "It's Admiral Thompson." A very old joke from an old friend I don't see anymore, and something I haven't thought about in years. Got a big laugh out of him, though, I think because it was so unexpected and I said it so confidently.

Our idiot Big Boss made us pick what Thanksgiving dish we were, and explain why we were that dish. MC suggested I be the salt shaker. I ran with it, but Big Boss didn't find it funny. MC sure did. "I didn't mean for you to actually say that," he admonished. "You could've also gone with the cranberry sauce, being all sour and everything."

He knows me like no one else. Because he knows I'm all bark and no bite, and I'm all gooey and sensitive inside. And I don't mind him knowing, for some reason.

Another time he gave me an email list to contact, and one of the people on there was incorrect. I was at first very upset about contacting the wrong person, then I got over it. We kept talking about the email, then I read to him the person's response, and he started getting upset about it.

"Wow," he said, "that is kind of awful. She didn't win the scholarship, then she gets this email calling her a previous winner, now she's assuming she's getting money, and then she really doesn't...." He looked genuinely distressed. "I probably ruined her whole day."

"So what are you going to do now, Brain?" I deadpanned, which snapped him out of it. I've learned we can't both have the same emotion on something. One of us has to be upset, the other a cool cucumber. But we can switch moods as the day goes on, or the hour, or the conversation. It's a nice flow.

I saw my psychiatrist on Monday and she was very pleased with how well I've been doing, especially that I took a "spontaneous" vacation with little planning. "That is so important for your anxiety," she kept saying, which is weird because I rarely think of my anxiety or of myself as an anxious person. Peru, though, will definitely require more planning. Now my psychiatrist just admonishes me about human contact: "We just need to get you a partner now," she keeps saying. "You cannot keep isolating yourself from other people. You must make friends."

Blegh. Human contact. Relationships. That shit is hard.

I'm sure by now everyone knows that fucking Amazon is coming here. God knows what it'll do to my rent. This silly "National Landing" thing is literally three blocks from my apartment complex, and apparently there's going to be a massive Virginia Tech campus built almost directly across from me. Where are all these people going to live? Where am I going to live? How much worse can the traffic get? Sheesh. I don't want to leave the area. We'll just have to see what happens.

I don't think I'll be doing anything fun this weekend, as I am broke. I spent too much last week. I'm budgeting for Peru, and I set myself a limit, which I just barely went under last month, so I need to do better. Hopefully for my birthday I'll be getting money, which I can then spend on Christmas gifts for my Sis and her family. So this weekend might just be a stay-at-home, clean, read, color, get drunk and watch movies weekend.

Which is just as well. Next week is Thanksgiving. I'll be driving to Sis's on Thursday, then returning Saturday. That's plenty of time with family, trust me. I do look forward to being with Niece, though. Sis sends me videos and pics of her, and she's so adorable. She sent me an amazing pic of her coloring with this big fat grin on her face. She's just the best. And now she likes to play and do things, so I'm anticipating spending a lot of time in the floor with her, doing whatever she feels like. It'll be fun.

So things are good. I'm working out on the treadmill in the evenings, and counting my calories. I've been maintaining my weight but now I'm starting to see it dip, so I'm pleased. I'm studying Spanish via Duolingo and Pimsleur, so that I am not a total idiot for Peru, and I am planning and budgeting for the trip (even though it's so far away! I'm excited though). In the nearer future, I've got a lot to look forward to, event-wise; I've got tickets to a pair of interesting lectures in the Profs and Pints series; I'm seeing Craig Ferguson in December with my coworker B, which will be great; and I've got tickets to both Muse and Massive Attack in the spring. Plus books coming out ("KINGDOM OF COPPER" BITCHES DAAAARAAAAA), the ice rink opens this weekend, some new museum exhibits are coming up, lots to do. I just need to watch my damn budget, though.

It's so nice to feel good and energetic again. I've missed this so much. It's been a long, long time since I've felt this good. I hope it continues!

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newagesispage · 7 years

Text

JUNE 2017

PAGE RIB

*****The writers are working on Arrested Development season 5 which Netflix has confirmed is coming in 2018 with the full cast. Ron Howard tells us he is “Warming up my uncredited narrator vocal chords.”

*****The world was welcomed to Live with Kelly and Ryan! I admit that I don’t watch it but this surely won’t help. Why?? Why him?? His name recognition, his power, his falling ratings at E!? Seacrest showed his interview prowess by mistaking Jeffrey Tambor for Vincent Schiavelli, the now deceased actor from the subway in Ghost. Read the new memoir Tambor was selling, Are you anybody?

*****Val Kilmer says he is healing from cancer.

*****Conan is being sued by a former writer of Leno’s. The man claims that Conan and his writers “lifted jokes from his blog.” They deny the charges. TBS showed their belief by inking him to 4 more years. Next up an animated series called Final Space and more branching out on the way.

*****We miss U Gwen Ifill but Robert Costa is doing a great job on Washington Week!

*****Clerics are a bit uneasy about scary clown’s order to ease limitations on places of worship and their ability to talk politics from the pulpit. Some fear the two existing side by side and some are very happy to feel the freedom.

*****Nigerian school girls that were abducted 3 years ago are slowly being released. May has brought a second release after the first one in October.

*****Turkey’s President Ertogan sent his thugs out in Washington to beat peaceful protesters. There was no consequence for they have diplomatic immunity. Really? There must be limits. Welcome to Trumps America. **Turkey later gets upset about the ‘treatment’ of those bodyguards.

*****Jimmy Kimmel and his wife welcomed a baby boy named Billy. He was born with heart problems and Kimmel came out to explain to his audience before letting guest hosts take over the rest of the week. His genuine concern for children that are not as fortunate financially was touching. Of course, those who vote against such things did not seem to agree.** Kimmel is also set to once again host the Oscars.

*****Scandal will run its last season next year.

*****Mystery Science Theatre 3000 is going on tour. Keep an eye out for the Watch out for snakes! tour around the country.

*****Met Gala: The soiree for the who’s who: Best dressed- Nicki Minaj, Blake Lively, Ryan Reynolds, Frances Bean Cobain, Lena Dunham, Mary J. Blige, Bella Hadid, Zoe Kravitz, Pryanka Chopra. Worst dressed- Solange Knowles, Helen Lasichanh, Pharrell Williams, Clare Danes

*****Scary Clown 45 tells us that Andrew Jackson could have avoided the civil war. He also told John Dickerson that he calls his program, ‘Deface the Nation’. Stephen Colbert was so incensed by the disrespect shown to the journalist that he had a few choice words like; disgrace the nation. He said that Trumps mouth was best used as Putin’s cock holder. He was bleeped but the FCC still looked into complaints, no action was taken.

*****Drake beat Adele’s record at the Billboard music awards. Best dressed were Rachel Platten, Machine Gun Kelly and Madison Beer. Worst dressed were Alex Pall, Andrew Taggart, Halsey and Billy Ray Cyrus.

*****Pence was invited to speak at Notre Dame’s commencement and dozens of graduates and family members silently stood and walked out.

*****Bobby Moynihan, Sasheer Zamata and Vanessa Bayer are out at SNL.

*****Netflix is bringing us Ozark with Jason Bateman (also executive producer and director), Laura Linney and Esai Morales. Look for it in July.

*****So sad to see icons on Fox news. When you see an occasional clip of someone like Joe Nameth, you wonder why??

*****Michael Moore is doing a one man show on Broadway. ‘The terms of my surrender’ will premiere on July 28. He is working on a feature right now about Trump called Fahrenheit 11/9 that will be distributed by the Weinstein’s. In the fall he will be in TNT prime time with Live from the apocalypse. The climate is giving him a time to shine. Go Michael!!

*****Norman Lear has received the Woody Guthrie prize.

*****Michael McDonald is working on a new LP, Wide Open.

*****Hillary Clinton has put together Onward Together! The political group asks people to get involved and organize!

*****A report claims that your nipple color is your perfect lipstick shade.

*****A cameo from Paul McCartney is slated for the new Pirates of the Caribbean. He will play a jail guard.

*****The x Mrs. Johnny Depp, Amber Heard has moved onto Tesla founder Elon Musk.

*****An x German rapper, Denis Cuspert , who became an Isis recruiter briefly married FBI operative, Daniela Greene.

*****American Housewife has been renewed for another season.

*****Jesse Jackson has been giving motivational speeches in some high schools. On May 12 he appeared at Peoria High.

*****Larry Wilmore is back with a podcast: Black on the air!

*****James Corden takes his show to the U.K. with Harry Styles and many more.

*****Brick and mortar stores are taking a big hit this year. 85% of all sales still come from these stores but they grew too fast for their own good. Mall building surpassed the population and we will have to say good bye to many of them.

*****James Comey tried to defend himself with the FBI oversight committee. He informed us that he asked for search warrants for wiener’s computer and had not yet got them when he released a memo to congress about looking back into Hillary’s e mails case which was called mid year exam. He claims he could not tell us about the Russian investigation because it was not and still is not finished. I have to wonder that if Hillary’s e mails were so fascinating to them, are they looking into the casual way that trump conducts business ? They are probably looking into starting the while Clinton Email thing instead. I have to shake my head at the slow progress of so many of these old senators on both sides of the aisle. It makes the whole thing repetitive and unproductive. The biggest sound bite was Comey’s statement that it made him mildly nauseous to think he would affect the election. Oh, please!!** Things did get going a bit finally and In the middle of some rather hard driving questions, Trump suddenly appeared on my TV with the President of Palestine. The media bought right into it and it was everywhere. I had to find C-span 3 to continue the hearings and skip the photo op.

*****And then Comey is fired on May 9 starting a whole new shit storm that distracts from Sally Yates damaging testimony. There have been multiple excuses for that. I think most dems can agree he completely mishandled the Hillary stuff but the timing is just so Trump! He does not even care how it looks, he bulldozes on. There is a giant fucking cloud over the whole thing. There is a letter from deputy attorney general , Rosenstein and Jeff Sessions recommended the firing but Trump says he was gonna fire him all along. Word is that Comey is mad, Rosenstein is livid and also the Presidents communication team. Acting FBI head McCabe assures us that the files were immediately secured. The Prez says Comey informed him that he wasn’t under investigation. The Fox spin seemed to blame the fact that Comey would not take the Obama wiretap allegations seriously. Trump also signed an executive order to look into his claims of voter fraud. It is like the biggest conspiracy theory nut got to be president and now we could spend millions of dollars on his crazy whims. OMG! **I feel that I may puke if I have to again see that clip of Comey and Trump shaking hands. Word is that Comey hated that day. ** And now the Justice department has appointed former FBI head Robert Mueller to lead a special counsel on the Russian probe.** Trump claims that ”No politician had it worse” at a Coast Guard commencement.** He probably should not have thrown Rosenstein under the bus because his appointment of Mueller gives him a lot of room to investigate.

*****Constitutional law prof. Laurence Tribe of Harvard writes that trump should be impeached because a President can’t ask for loyalty from the FBI director. He states other reasons like Trump can’t be trusted to stay within the law. Could Comey, the man who helped get him elected be the one to bring him down?

*****The treasury department is looking into money laundering issues with Trump.

*****Scary Clown takes his first trip out of the country as Pres. While there Toby Keith will be playing a ‘men only’ show in Saudi Arabia.

*****Mrs. Callista Gingrich is the ambassador to the Vatican.

*****Princess Mako of Japan will marry Kei Komuro and give up royal status.

*****Once the Stones do it, others always follow suit. Pink Floyd now has an exhibit of their history at the Victoria Albert museum.

*****Scary Clown has threatened to shut down all press briefings.

*****Studies from the CDC show that teens are drinking less.

*****Wow!! Was blown away by Joanne Froggatt in Dark Angel on PBS Masterpiece.

*****JS.. Saw Levon Helm’s Electric Dirt on Axl’s wall on The Middle finale.

*****Brazil’s President is also in some trouble with bribe allegations.

*****A tide brought back a beach on the west coast of Ireland that washed away 33 years ago!!

*****Jared Kushner’s sister, Nicole Meyer told Chinese investors that she could help foreign nationalists get visas through her family’s real estate business.

*****Trump took the Russians gleefully into the oval office and only let in the Russian press, No Americans allowed!! The White house claims they were misled about the Russian photographers. Russia is spreading the news that they have a better relationship with our President that we do. The Washington Post had a story that Trump released classified info to them. Once a President says it , it is declassified.

*****David Brooks wrote a NY Times piece after the “leak” calling out Scary Clown. He calls Trump an infantalist for immaturity is becoming the dominant role of his Presidency. He writes, ‘His falsehoods are attempts to build a world in which he can feel good for an instant and comfortably deceive himself. He is an ‘incompetent person who is too incompetent to understand his own incompetence.’ Well said!

***** I personally think that some people just like to live in chaos. Those people have taken over for now. I suppose that Trump loyalists like being puppets. It seems they can’t really think for themselves because everything scary clown does seems just fine to them. As long as he is firing people and disrupting the status quo, they are good no matter the cost. No backbone.

*****The Kennedy Center will honor David Letterman with the Mark Twain prize for American humor.

*****Have we ever had a first lady whose parent was a communist?

*****Nightcap on Pop will be back on June 7.

*****Comedy Central brings comics like Jerry Seinfeld and Kevin Hart with Colossal Clusterfest.

*****The Great British Baking show will be on PBS on June 16.. Hey.. that is Tom’s birthday!!

*****The Battle of the Network Stars is coming in June.

*****People of Earth is back on TBS on July 24.

*****Marijuana business owners were in Washington this month to fight for their rights. They specifically brought attention to section 280-E of the tax code that does not allow deductions and The Respect the State Marijuana Laws act of 2017.

*****Rumors have always been out there that H H Holmes escaped execution. His great grandchildren have petitioned for and been granted permission to exhume his body.

*****The house voted to end health care as we know it. It is opposed by the AMA, AARP, ACA and on and on. The groups are trying to ban together to hold town halls and explain just what they will get if Obamacare is taken away. But Scary Clown and all his other smug white buddies were laughing and joking about how wonderful it all is. Idaho congressman, Raul Labrador even said later that “Nobody dies because they don’t have access to health care,” They all have a very strange sense of humor. To quote a song from another time, “Ain’t no time to wonder why, whew! We’re all gonna die!” It is like a nightmare. I guess their thinking is that if they get rid of all the poor people, they won’t have to look at us anymore? They do not understand the idea of paycheck to paycheck. To get money back on your taxes to help fund your own health care is impossible for many people. They feel they have to get this health care plan through so they can then do the tax plan. They need the health care money for the poor so that the top moneymakers can have their big tax cuts.** Why not just fix the problems with Obamacare like a not for profit public option to buy into?**Women are a majority in this country, how the fuck did we get here? ** I loved Bette Midler’s tweet on it the best: “GOP passed a health care bill so bad they exempted themselves from it. They may live longer, but when they die, it’s straight to hell.”

*****Richard Simmons is suing American Media Inc. and their Radar online and National Enquirer for a story about his transitioning into a woman.

*****Bob Newhart came to Chicago to headline the Salvation Army’s annual civic luncheon.

*****The IFC’s Brockmire is fun and raunchy and you can see Hank Azaria nude. He and Amanda Peete have great chemistry but the rest of the cast is awesome too. I am so loving Tyrel Jackson Williams, the tech nerd and Daisuke Tsuji , the Japanese Free mason pitcher. The Pennsylvania town of Morristown is so Monessan like.

*****A woman may face a year in prison for laughing about Jeff Sessions. Desiree Fairooz was convicted for disorderly conduct but some are calling this fake news.

*****Loretta Lynn had a stroke and has postponed her tour. She is now in rehab.

*****Oh Conan.. Please.. More of the “Gilligan” writer please!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

*****Days alert: More of the tech nerd Myron Radditz!! And let’s keep going with the love story of JENERIC!!** I saw the Days punk pimp on a new ad for Geico. He is going places?!** Could they make Nicole any more whiny or stupid!! C’mon!** It is time to kill off Jade.**Morgan Fairchild has joined the cast as Angelica Deveraux.

*****I always knew that Debra Winger was cool. I see that she has admiration for Better Call Saul and The Americans. Yes!!

*****Jeff Goldblum will be back for the next Jurassic Park!

*****Always Dreaming won the Kentucky Derby!

*****Gov. Greg Abott has signed a ban for sanctuary cities in Texas.

*****Norway has the wonderful slow TV on their public broadcasting. It started with a train trip. You can watch chopping wood or burning logs or sheering sheep and knitting. There was a cruise that lasted 5 and a half days. It is syndicated around the world. YES!!

*****Hooray!! Paris did it! Macron wins!!

*****New Orleans is courting controversy with the removal of many civil war statues.

*****The U.S. has armed the Kurds in Syria. **The White House is also considering new troops in Afghanistan.

*****Trump quote: During the Clapper /Yates testimony: “Watch then start to choke like dogs. Watch what happens. They are desperate for breath.”

*****If you haven’t been reading Carl Reiner’s tweets about Donald Trump.. you must check it out. A recent example: “In his first hundred days in office, trump has succeeded in affirming to our citizens that our great nation will cheer his impeachment.”

*****The Stones are revving up for a new tour in Europe.

*****American Crime Story will tackle Katrina with Dennis Quaid playing George W. Bush.

*****Sam Rockwell will play a KKK leader alongside Taraji P. Henson as a civil rights activist in Best of Enemies.

*****After the court said that Trumps website still stated that ALL Muslims should be banned and Sean Spicer was asked about it in a briefing, it immediately disappeared.

*****Why is frat house hazing still allowed to go on?? These are grown ass people that act like 5 year olds but with booze and drugs.

*****In 2011 a nodosaur mummy was discovered in Alberta with the skin and stomach contents intact!! Paleontologist Vinther says the dinosaur, from 110 million years ago was so well preserved that it might have been walking around a couple of years ago. It is now on display at the new Alberta museum. How fucking exciting is that?

*****Jeff Sessions tell us that he would like the harshest sentences possible for drug offenses. These guys sure like their torture and punishment.

*****RIP Jean Stein, Steven Holcomb, Powers Boothe, Roger Ailes, Chris Cornell , Lisa Spoonaver, Roger Moore, Gregg Allman and Susan Hurt.

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