#MMA parody

[cementcornfield]

More on the New Oline Coach

some screenshots I've gathered from my Twitter Sources™️. looks like people are feeling positive overall!

pass pro is obviously most important for a team with joe at QB (the man who likes to drop back like 50 times a game lol, which IS hard on the oline no matter how good they are). and good to see he can adapt run scheme to personnel, which i think has been one of the main issues of our run game the last few years, getting everything synced up between our players with different skill sets (mixon, chase, the various unathletic oline guys we tend to collect lol)

mike bengals_sans is the main oline info source for me. it's his favorite thing to talk about and i think he's also an oline coach? he seems excited and trusts his own smarter sources! again though, the year in NE is a concern. not a guaranteed success but people seem optimistic!

a bit more on the MMA stuff lol. it's not just cool as a concept, but can be an indicator of the kind of teacher/trainer Peters could end up being. and i think we have guys who will respond well to that type of discipline!

this endorsement from bengals oline legend willie anderson is always a plus!

and finally this one, which i legit thought was a trump inauguration parody joke at first lmao, but then i looked at the rest of his account and really he's just Like That. so i think he's being sincere (and very excited). make the bengals great again!

[selamat-linting]

ah yes, my blorbo. his name is cm punk, government name is phillip jack brooks. the cm on his name currently stands for chicago made, but other people and even himself occasionally say it stands for something else like cookie monster, cookie puss, cant mma, cum master, chick magnet, cock magnet, cancer man, cat man, etc. he has sworn under oath for a defamation case that it stood for chick magnet.

but throughout the years he's officially nicknamed as the second city saint, the straight edge superstar, straight edge savior, straight edge cultist, straight edge scumbag, best in the world, and voice of the voiceless. there's also nicknames made by other people or various internet communities with its own parodies like cm drunk, cm junk, cp munk, pg punk, pepsi phil, saint pepsi the phil, lockport phil, one mill phil, one bill phil, punker, punko, punkity punker, the devil, collision girl, and ofc his newest nickname, The Succubus™

now that we're done talking about his name, let me tell you about his career. you see it all started from 199-

[theanticool]

God, got to watch the Shavkat Rakhmonov-Stephen Thompson fight. That was sad.

It’s always interesting to see how fighters get old. The physical declines are obvious. Slower, can’t take punches, etc (Tony Ferguson). Some just can’t see the openings anymore and can’t pull the trigger (Anderson Silva). Some can’t see things coming anymore (Kevin Lee). Some just degrade into the barest of styles, pairing down their approach to the point of parody (Fedor becoming a gunslinger for the last 5-8 years of his career). Some change completely because the lose confidence in their A game and end up looking like a deer in the headlights (Colby).

And then there are dudes like Wonderboy, who is obviously physically declined, but seemed to completely lose track of where he was in the cage almost instantly. Backed right into it with minimal provocation on Shavkat’s part. And this is one of MMA’s premier out fighters. A guy who has historically managed to navigate that space between the gate and the black line in the Octagon as well as basically anybody. And he didn’t realize he was backing into the cage until he stuck his hand out to feel it.

[black-klok-youth-pastor]

Okay I plan on hopefully releasing a post regarding my theories before the movie comes out, my Charles-MMA theory may have bombed but I have a post regarding Skwisgaar’s father in the wings. On the meantime though…I’m just gonna list off some random assorted headcanons, couple repeats bit most of them being stuff I had in my head for a while but haven’t found a good place to post them:

Contrary to popular expectations Skwisgaar is a bit closer to Gothenburg than Stockholm (although I’m still trying to narrow down the most likely location for his possible hometown for nothing else than fan fic purposes)

Speaking of language, Toki and Skwisgaar argue each other in their native language as the two are mutually intelligible. What’s more surprising is that occasionally Offdensen would interject in Danish to try to tell them off, which freaks out Toki thinking Charles is demon possessed while Skwisgaar was initially under the impression he was having a bad cough rather than speaking “Dutch”.

Toki loves the Big Comfy Couch, helps that it has basis in reality since the show was popular in its heyday with children who didn’t speak English as a first language or straight up non-verbal. And hey, it’s not like it’s not brutal! Loonette was also the original voice of Claire Redfield!

Dick Knubbler, not unlike the infamous producer he’s a parody of, managed a girl group at one point…it was called the Dicklettes. It was not super successful though, for reasons that allude people 🤔.

Part of the reason Damien is such an asshole is because his parent divorced at an early age, not an excuse obviously but it would at least explain why Roy would (presumably judging by certain context clues) spoil him during his childhood and why there’s such a large age difference between him and “Dorian” (my name for the kid that may or may not be Roy’s other son).

There was one time where Dethklok tried to arrange Charles to have groupie sex with his fan club (which exists, but in a semi-unofficial capacity) so that he’ll be “less of an uptight dildo” but he refused for various reasons not the least of which being (at least according to my headcanon for now) that he’s asexual. He doesn’t get it often due to him being important but not as prominent in the public eye as the band ,but he’s had at least a couple of “Why does Offdensen not have a wife/girlfriend?” kind of gossip pieces including naturally a few “Does Charles Offdensen is gay?” rumors (for the record I am in support of that too and in fact I did open the possibility that he’s both gay and ace at the same time). Which he dislikes and tries to suppress as much as possible if for nothing else than the desire to censor any details about his personal life including him trying to seal any records prior to him becoming Dethklok’s manager.

There are multiple Facebones videos covering sex ed for any groupies where it might be their first time, complete with the most awkward Klokateer skits known to man. The “groupie area” also contains stuff like condoms and whatnot, it’s just that the Dethklok-brand condoms suck all kinds of ass (and not in that way tee hee) that even without Skwisgaar’s uncanny fertility makes pregnancy extremely likely.

This might be multipart if only because I might have to clear my drafts at the last minute

[apieters]

"Paint me like one of your French lions..."

In This Scene

Ariel wanted to try painting, so she asked her husband Leo to be a model--it's not like he wears a shirt much anyway (he's an MMA fighter)!

Leo, being Leo, took the role not seriously at all. Leo actually did work briefly as a model, just after his nephew Sammy was born and the rest of the King family was strapped for cash, but that ended quickly after he kept asking how people were going to want to buy clothes that he wasn't being photographed wearing. He doesn't regret it, though.

Behind the Scenes

This was a hard one to do. I bought my sketchbook a few years ago in a second-hand store in Colorado, and it was empty save for a couple crayon scribblings. This page was almost empty except for one quick scrawl, and I decided to challenge myself and see if I could incorporate that into a drawing of my own imagination. As you can see, the crayon scrawl became Ariel's palette, and Ariel came next. Finding a pose for Leo that realistically scaled to fill the space took several iterations, but I knew I wanted it to be a parody of something else. I finally decided on the Titanic reference, and that brought the whole piece together.

(I've still never seen Titanic, and I don't feel like I'm missing out)

[wrestlingwiththoughts]

Kurt Angle (c) vs. Samoa Joe, TNA Lockdown 2008, April 13, 2008

Finally, it's time to look at the match when TNA pivoted to copy from MMA promotions like UFC and Pride Fighting Championships.

No, we're not talking about Jeff Jarrett, MMA Enthusiast today.

(For as much as I would love pro wrestling to be presented with the seriousness and earnestness of sports, I still greatly enjoy Jeff Jarrett's parody of mixed martial arts. That probably makes me a hypocrite.)

Instead, we turn our focus to the fifth televised singles match between Kurt Angle and Samoa Joe in less than 18 months, most of which have ended in victory for Angle. It's incredible even in hindsight that TNA would burn off this feud so quickly when this is something that could have been a featured feud for years. LOLTNA, I guess.

Of course, it wouldn't be TNA without booking oversalting the egg. In this case, Samoa Joe has put his title on the line (even though Tenay hammers home that he is the number one contender), and Angle demands that his then-wife Karen Angle leave the ringside area before the match starts because he doesn't want to her see the violence that he is threatening to unleash on Joe.

Angle is barefoot and in MMA shorts to accentuate that this match in the Six Sides of Steel match will be different than their previous matches. TNA also tried to highlight that this match would be different by arranging for Frank Trigg to be a special commentator for this match and by including Marcus Davis in the match announcement. Trigg's commentary adds a lot to the match; his insights about Angle's handspeed and the need to get inside early on set the tone for this match, which was controversial at the time because it leaned on MMA more than on pro wrestling tropes, at least at the start.

Instead of lock-ups, Angle and Joe start by circling each other and probing with kicks and punches. It felt like a statement when Joe and Angle start to set up for a Greco-Roman knuckle lock and Angle breaks it by kicking at Joe's previously injured knee. We go back the other way when Angle grabs a rope to break a heel hook from Joe and then swing in the MMA direction when Angle shoots the double and he and Joe go into guard position with Joe on the bottom.

The match swings between the MMA pole, held by Angle, and the pro wrestling pole, held by Joe. Joe was introduced by Samoan fire knife dancers whom Tenay said were members of his family, but I'm skeptical. I'm even more skeptical of Joe's ability to win this match; it's hard to have faith in someone who's lost 3 of 4 matches against the same opponent. Joe leans on pro wrestling power moves like lariats, jumping knees in the corner, and powerbombs to try to beat Angle. Angle uses moves that run a little closer to MMA arsenals: takedowns, suplexes, and grappling on the ground to position for submission. However, he'll still use classic pro wrestling bits like the figure four leglock, and Joe will fulfill his obligation by reversing the hold on Angle.

Joe and Angle's battles on the ground later in the match are more pro wrestling than MMA. I know that I've commented before that public knowledge of MMA should force pro wrestling to evolve beyond these drawn out moments in submission holds, but the difference here is that Angle and Joe use these moments to express the dramatic possibilities inherent in pro wrestling well. Furthermore, they aren't in the holds for too long. Angle has Joe in the first Ankle Lock near the end of the match for about 12 seconds and the second for about 22 seconds. Joe has Angle in the rear naked choke for about 25 seconds, but it's clear that Joe doesn't have it fully locked since Angle is able to pivot his body enough to pull himself to the rope by pulling on referee Rudy Charles's shirt. Maybe the difference is that they're both resisting their opponents and not just laying back and showing their struggle in the easy way of letting their raised arms flag.

Joe puts the final stamp on the match by throwing Angle into the cage; this is the only time either wrestler uses the cage offensively. He then hits a thrust kick on Angle, which is unusual for Joe, and finishes Angle with the Muscle Buster, which is not so unusual. Joe beats Angle for the second time, wins the title from him, and saves his career. It was an emphatic, cathartic win for Joe.

The match is still interesting even after all of this time because it still feels unusual for the way it tries to incorporate MMA into it. It still leans more pro wrestling than MMA, and I think the MMA elements are more prevalent toward the start of the match than the end and more from Angle than from Joe. We haven't seen many wrestlers try to copy blending MMA and pro wrestling elements together in the match structure since this match. That's probably for the best since I'm not sure how many wrestlers I'd like to see try to have a blended match like this. For Angle and Joe, at least, I thought this was a very successful experiment.

The ranking of Angle vs. Joe matches:

The Genesis 2006 match

The Turning Point 2006 match

The Lockdown 2008 match

The Final Resolution 2007 match

The Hard Justice 2008 match

The match is free to view on TNA’s YouTube page.

[michameinmicha]

Kommt mir das nur so vor oder ist die Performance aller schauspieler irgendwie ne spur daneben? Das fühlt sich alles so ...gespielt an? Selbst die schauspieler, die man von früher kennt wirken irgendwie fake?

[isgrow]

Ultimate Fighting Goes to the Next Level - Key & Peele

Two ultimate fighters make their case for why they’re going to win the big match, but one of them clearly takes it more seriously than the other.

About Key & Peele: Key & Peele showcases the fearless wit of stars Keegan-Michael Key and Jordan Peele as the duo takes on everything from “Gremlins 2” to systemic racism. With an array of sketches as wide-reaching as they are cringingly accurate, the pair has created a bevy of classic characters, including Wendell, the players of the East/West Bowl and President Obama’s Anger Translator.

Subscribe to Comedy Central: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCUsN5ZwHx2kILm84-jPDeXw?sub_confirmation=1

Watch more Comedy Central: https://www.youtube.com/comedycentral

Follow Key & Peele: Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/KeyAndPeele/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/keyandpeele Watch full episodes of Key & Peele: http://www.cc.com/shows/key-and-peele

Follow Comedy Central: Twitter: https://twitter.com/ComedyCentral Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ComedyCentral/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/comedycentral/

#keyandpeele #comedycentral

being published on http://mybecause.com/ultimate-fighting-goes-to-the-next-level-key-peele/

[richardwilk]

When it comes to funny sports commentary, everybody knows this guy (and his voice)! If you want a great laugh, check out my good friend @bobmenery! . Glad to see you at the fights sitting ringside and catching up at @ufc 241 . #ufc #comedy #sports #funnyvideos #parody #mma #richardwilk #friendship (at Honda Center) https://www.instagram.com/p/B1h9o5hjQDK/?igshid=11e3znm7q5oln

[nomadicism]

Any more thoughts about the whole Twitter situation? What do you think will happen to that site over the next while?

Hi Anon, thank you for the Ask!

By the gods, what to even say now?

I wish that I had the wit to voice my thoughts with brevity and good humor. The Twitter Musk situation is hilarious-but-also-serious, and alas, I am verbose in my thoughts and not very funny.

I'm not sure that Twitter will survive, if I have time I'll post more deeply on what I think will happen with that.

I don't follow much outside of USA Twitter, so I can see all of this going in a lot of directions, such as the platform being irrelevant in the US, while remaining utilized outside of the USA.

We can still use Twitter and curate our experience by muting every slur that ever existed while using mega block on shitty tweets to expand our block lists, but that's not gonna change the fact if Twitter survives—without Furry Musk-gland backtracking on moderation—then the winners will be authoritarian regimes and con artists. Both rely upon sowing disinformation, distrust, propaganda, and conspiracies.

There are many choice threads on Twitter that reveal the convergence of serious issues, and I don’t even know where to begin summarizing them all. I’ve included a list of URLs to a variety of threads that might be of interest. What's happening here is not a simple thing, it's bigger than one spoiled mediocre man's ego.

Content is king, and Black people did a lot of labor in creating the kind of content that draws users to Twitter. Michael Harriot of The Grio has some words.

Hark! A graph showing Mastodon new user sign up spikes plotted against new user sign-ups on Twitter

A kind and thoughtful thread by Gerard K Cohen about his team members. Their entire team (Accessibility Experience Team) was among the mass firings at Twitter last week.

Of which, the unsurprising firing of thousands of employees (not all of them whom are software engineers) potentially poses as serious legal issue for Twitter due to California’s WARN law.

Also in Ireland (though small potatoes I suppose).

Apartheid Clyde (thank you Black Twitter for this most excellent name for Elon Musk) tries to blame advertisers bailing on the platform on activists. Gets called out by the president and Chief Operating Officer of MMA Global (a multi-national marketing trade association) whom he had just had a call with.

On the value of experts discussing in an open public forum

Concerns from a Chinese dissident

Discount Stark is fact-checked on his lie about advertising

Profoundly bad business decisions. There is no 5D chess here folks. There may well be a case for Tesla stock-holders to sue for breach of fiduciary responsibility.

Being an asshole to everyone and then firing the security team (who were already pissed at you very likely) as you’re rolling out a feature that requires both financial and personal data to be transmitted and stored is beyond foolish.

Ohhhh, hmmm about those critical employees…

Some of the fired employees are here on work visas

Potentially disruptive for upcoming elections in the USA.

Listen, I work in tech. I co-founded a startup back in 2013. No job is worth a 9:30pm stand-up while your colleagues are being fired by a useless billionaire.

Does Twitter really matter though?

Learn to host your own content.

Make a list of your fave Twitter artists, authors, etc.

When parody is only comedy if it comes with a disclaimer

Comedy as a venn diagram

Use lists to get around shadow banning of un-verified accounts

Paying for verification reduces identity to a trademark. The average person does not have the resources to continuously litigate their identity, such people who are recognized experts in their field, journalists, government officials, etc will be the ones impersonated.

A must-read thread about Twitter and counter-convergence (spoiler, Harry Potter was a counter-convergence)

Faith and trust rely on knowing that people are who they claim to be when they speak on subjects with authority and expertise. Undercutting the ability of such people to verify themselves is a form of discrediting, and when that happens systematically to scientists, educators, and public servants, then we have fascist propaganda tactics on our hands.

I hope you find these useful Anon!

(Y'all give me some reblogs because I'm not sure if this post will show up organically since it has links in it.)

[reflections-in-a-critical-eye]

Are there any bangtan performances that have caught your eye as having potentially queer interpretations outside of the obvious mma black swan choreo?

I've always found Jungkook and Jimin's Adult Ceremony piece as being super gay lmao but if not for the amusing behind the scenes

Adult Ceremony is such a good case study because we have the performance and the rehearsal in behind the scenes and the acts have different meanings, at least in my interpretation.

I know I sound like a broken record, but I will once again go back to Chuyun Oh's article ''Unmasking Queerness: Blurring and Solidifying Queer Lines through K-Pop Cross-Dressing''. I really recommend this article for anyone who is interested, you can find it online. Oh analizes two performanaces by male K-Pop idols, one in which they use humor to reinforce heterosexuality and heteronormativity and a second one that manages to blur the lines by using subversion.The original performances are made by girl groups and the boys are trying to imitate that. Despite Adult Ceremony not involving cross-dressing, I think I can use the author's analysis because she makes some really good points that can be applied to this particular situation.

Oh starts by contextualizing how queer Asian identity is understood saying ''focusing on liminal features of queerness decolonizes Asian queer aesthetics by unmasking Western-centered gay subjects. Queer is often understood as a Eurocentric concept with the implication that the non-Western subject should follow Western models''. I only have to look at shipping spaces and 90% of the bloggers and twitter users are guilty of doing this because they can't get rid of their Western bias and lens through which they try to understand Asian queer aesthetics.

Going back to using humor to reinforce heterosexuality, we can see that in BTS as well, especially back when they had to pretend to kiss each other, or they were dressed up in women's clothes. They always ended up laughing, breaking the fourth wall so to speak, in order to remind the audience that they're just playing for entertainment, it's nothing serious, this is not them as men, because they are ''real men''. Chuyun Oh goes back to theater and the theories about presentational (Brecht) and representational acting (Stanislavksi) to frame these types of performances.

A presentational acting style is a technique in which the actor maintains a distance from the roles they play, it creates an alienation effect. I could say that this applies to some acts of fanservice, but to get to the point of this actual ask, I think what Jimin did in the rehearsal for Adult Ceremony was presentational acting. He couldn't get into the ''role'', and the role was that he as a man had to dance on a song and choreography in which the movements were gendered and specifically female for the most part (although for JM and JK's performance they did add some Michael Jackson inspired moves for a short bit if I recall) and the original message was that of a woman offering herself to a man that had waited for her to become of legal age so they can finally have sex. Jimin was shy and always breaking out of his role, while Jungkook was playful, but despite that, I didn't see him using humor to deflect from what he was actually doing. It's also important to remember that Jungkook, when he dances girl group choreos, he doesn't turn to parody in order to reinforce that he's still a man. If the movements are feminine, he will move his body the exact same way. What Jungkook does is representational acting, the technique in which the actor immerses themselves into the role they play.

This representational acting happens during the actual performance because none of them break that fourth wall. Jimin and Jungkook are not imitating the women who dance, but they embody on stage their femininity as men. Wearing masculine fitting black costumes doesn't erase that. They also have a part of themselves that can be considered more androgynous in appearance. (As I said, one part of themselves, I didn't label any of them as androgynous men in general, this is important to note).

You said ''this piece is super gay'', but I would rather say it's a queer performance because it plays with gender presentation and blurs the lines between socially established genders and it creates a space for queer expression, a ''third realm, a space of possibility in gender construction''. I would like to end this with a last quote from the article because it sums up what performances like Adult Ceremony and Black Swan can be interpreted as, without using some very narrow, Western-centric concepts that require definitive identities:

''The ambivalent construction of homoerotic role-play signals that anyone can act, feel, and be queer without the danger of directly being marked as gay or homosexual. Such ambiguity has potential to liberate individuals and to allow alternative sexual identities moving away from stereotypes of homosexuality embedded in Western culture''.

I believe that narrow mindedness, a Western perspective of gender and sexual identity and being art and media illiterate, stops this fandom from being able to talk about Adult Ceremony or Black Swan as being queer performances, as they believe that by saying this, it automatically adds a certain label to these two men and assuming their homosexuality (as we all know, assuming straightness is completely fine apparently). It's ignorance because assuming men could be queer is not wrong and second, they are not able to separate someone's possible sexual identity from the art they are doing. If those two are connected, fine. It usually is in a lot of cases, but in this particular situations when someone's sexual identity becomes a blank canvas because of the industry, then I say that once again, it's fine to just focus on the art and if the art can be interpreted as queer, then so be it. We can look at them as artists and the art they're making without automatically making statements about them as private individuals.

[dalloga]

Hi! first of all I wanted to tell you that I love reading all your answers, I find them very interesting! I wanted to ask you, what do you think of the iconic moment during mma 2018? From lip reading do you think they really say "Nampyeon" and "Hyung namchin" as everyone thinks?

Hi anon! Thank you!

Ahhh MMA 2018... first of all I want to make repeated full bows to the homma (MELTING ON !) for capturing this moment for us in 4k definition. We’re able to see every micro-expression on Jungkook’s face as he puts his arm around and stares at Jimin for a full minute and a half. Not once have I been able to make it through the clip without turning into this: 😳😳😳

As for the lip reading, the short answer is yes.

The context for this is that around 00:34, Jimin points to himself, then Jungkook, and seems to be asking a question or making some kind of comment related to him. Some K-KM fans tried to figure out what Jungkook said in response and came to the conclusion that he was saying 남편/husband (nampyeon) and 형의 남친/hyung’s boyfriend (hyung-ui namchin).

I agree. Not only does the lip reading fit the shapes these words would make, it fits the timing/rhythm needed to say these syllables as well. And if this wasn’t enough, Jungkook says both things with the same unflinching eye contact and wide smirk that he shows in this vlive where he uses a cheesy line on Jimin (JK @ 1:34: “Do you smell something burning? My heart is burning.”) If Jungkook really said what we think he said at MMA, then it’s no wonder that Jimin smacked his chest right after.  

This moment is so iconic that it came 1st place in the KMDUCE (parody of the survival program Produce 101) voting of “top Kookmin moments of all time” with 690 votes from K-KM fans. It’s clearly a widely beloved moment 💜

[randompopculturereferences]

Knockout

[captainkaprozyx]

Now there is not a lot of free time, as I work a lot, but sometimes in the evenings I will relax and draw sketches! I have big problems with them, it is always difficult for me to stop and not turn them into full works. Here's what happened recently. This is my favorite Russian meme "ugly, I don't like it either" where two people are not happy about something and it will unite them! I thought that MMAgnus must be a parody of it and drew it. the text on the image is "Ugly" for Magnus and "I don't like it either" for MMA Just in case, I'm attaching the original meme! Second sketch .... well this is my second favorite shipping in this fandom! And I will definitely draw something more serious about them, but for now, here's a little sketch about team ... work? (oh we all know how this will end, definitely NOT working together)

[fightersrep]

We think @pollotropical should start offering the "Especial Masvidal" (or Masvidal Special) in honor of our favorite Miami fighter, @gamebredfighter - and it should come with a Jupina. Thoughts?! #pollotropical #jorgemasvidal #pollotime #3pieceandasoda #ufc #mma #humor #instagram #parody #instajokes #compadre #acere #quevola #nio #305 https://www.instagram.com/p/BvK4JCAADAf/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1wwviwc25gl32