#MIght write it if I finish Spider-Man: Homesickness

[fieldsofview]

I desperately want to write a fic about how a beat down (and very good at compartmentalizing) Peter Parker only realizes that he is in fact a trans dude after the spider bite and going out in the suit

like, people coin him as Spider-Man (bc muscles and a sports-bra compressed chest make a certain silhouette) and it makes him stop and think

and then it's just like oooooooooh yep ok this was what I was ignoring for the last 2 decades

[airandangels]

Right, I’m now caught up on Camp Cretaceous (future post palaeontologists, this was August 2021 after season 3). Thoughts?

I enjoyed that and would gladly watch another season. One of the more ambitious things about the show as a spin-off is the way that it stays linked to the events unfolding in the Jurassic World movies, filling in what Rexy and Blue were doing in between the first two and, near the end of S3, incorporating and expanding on events from the prologue of Fallen Kingdom. Thus S4 can run up to the point where, if and when they do escape from the island, they return to a world where dinosaurs are loose due to Maisie making the same choice they would have made (and did make when, for example, they freed Blue from being pinned under the overturned vehicle before the compies could kill her). I guess they have to either finish their story there or wait till after Dominion to be able to continue. So that’s a bit of a narrative challenge.

It was a really strange writing choice that when Ben wanted to remain on the island, nobody ever said “But what about your family? Your parents must think you’re dead. Don’t you even want to see them again?” And of course Ben could have reasons for that, like an unhappy relationship with his parents, resentment of his mother for sending him to the camp, feeling that his parents didn’t want him as he was and have no claim to who he is now, and they could be things that he didn’t want to talk about, but it was weird as heck that none of the others even asked him.

As a group and for their age, they do talk surprisingly little about their families. Sammy seems like someone who would chatter about them frequently but no. We don’t know how Brooklynn and Yasmina feel about parents who pushed or at least encouraged them into professional careers at an early age. We know something about Darius and Kenji’s relationships with their fathers but that’s really about all. If there was something like a pact, “We won’t talk about our families because it’s making us more homesick, we need to concentrate on what we’re doing now,” it would make more sense, and instead it’s just not there.

Wow that Scorpius rex was an effectively yucky-looking monster desighn. The way its forelimbs moved was especially unnatural/wrong-looking.

I sometimes wonder if Tim, Lex and Kelly ever formed a sort of Jurassic Park young survivors’ support group. You can certainly get therapy for trauma and near-death experiences in general but when nobody else alive has been through quite the uniquely weird crisis you have, it’s isolating. At least Tim and Lex had each other from the beginning, and might have been able to offer some comradeship to Kelly. Then, uh, have forgotten name of Kirby kid, who’s had the experience closest to what the campers have had because he had to manage alone without adults, and Zach and Gray who were present in different parts of the park for the same events. Would the campers find it helpful to meet them and talk about how you resume your life after a dinosaur peril adventure? Would I just like to see cartoon, grown-up versions of them? (Yes)

I enjoyed Dr Wu’s haughty look of “I am holding my umbrella” when the mercenaries asked if he was going to help unload their gear.

Excuse you Brooklynn, Dr Wu should never stop rocking turtlenecks. B D Wong is a damn presentable man and turtlenecks suit him. The animated version of the character doesn’t really capture that - and it’s a shame Wong didn’t record the voice.

My eyes still haven’t made up their minds about whether he wore a lab coat back to the island, because he’s obsessed with his identity as a Scientist, or just a raincoat that was sort of lab coat-shaped.

I would sort of like it if Dr Wu was like that one Spider-Man villain and was like “I don’t care about being a visionary, I just want to make fucked-up dinosaurs.”

“Who’s going to stop me? I bet Elon Musk would pay me to make him the grossest dinosaur you’ve ever seen. I think I could put its ass on its face if I tried.”

It is folly to get into shipping for any show where the characters are young teenagers (for some reason it seems to get EXTRA bitter, also I am old and don’t feel that strongly about it) but I will simply say I hope they do something with how much Yasmina evidently loves Sammy. It seems encouraging that when Brooklynn thought Sammy had a crush, Yaz was one of the names she suggested (and the one she sounded most enthusiastic about).

It varies from episode to episode, but sometimes I notice the animation being smoother and more nuanced than I expect from this kind of cartoon. For example, Yasmina’s movements in “The Long Run” when she’s searching the abandoned lab for the antivenin to save Sammy’s life, her gestures of despair when she thinks she can’t find it and overwhelming, almost painful relief when she realises that she has it - they’re just really fluid and expressive, more than the minimum.

And I’ll always give Yasmina bonus points for having such a splendid Sailor Jupiter-y ponytail.

[katsens-writing]

See You Again, Part 1

Summary: Peter’s current mission is starting to wear on him emotionally. Tony has a rough day.

Content: This part is emotional, angsty. Some language, alcohol/temptation to drink. Let me know if I need to add anything.

Word Count: About 2.9k

A/N: This story was inspired by a post I saw and an ensuing conversation I had. If you have not seen Far From Home yet, do not worry, this is spoiler-free. This part has a flashback within a flashback so apologies if it gets confusing! Thank you to @itsallavengers and @wisemanwhodoesntknow for the inspiration!

---

     The cool night air blew gently past him. In spite of his suit, he could still feel it, and he closed his eyes, gently reveling in it. He opened his eyes with a sigh and looked out at the very familiar, yet somehow foreign city that lay out before him. He was in New York, perched atop the Brooklyn Bridge, looking across the river over at Manhattan. Upon landing on the bridge his eyes were immediately drawn toward the one building he always sought out among the skyline in every universe he visited. He didn’t even think about doing it anymore, it was as if his eyes were just drawn to it. The sight of it often brought him some comfort after a long night in an unfamiliar world and it had definitely been a long night tonight.

     He was told that the Spider-Man in this universe wouldn’t be in New York when he was there, but he was told he would need to wear his different suit anyway. When Fury first told him he would have to wear a different suit, he wasn’t surprised; he had already been expecting some kind of catch that would make him not like this mission.

     “Can’t you find someone else?” Peter asked Fury when the former director came to him. “Thor? Captain Marvel? Anyone?!”

     Fury explained to him why he couldn’t. He met Quentin Beck and listened to what he and Fury had to say. Fury even went so far as to mention his name. After they had finally finished, Peter looked Fury right in the eye.

     “I’m sorry,” he spoke, his voice firm. It took all he had to control his voice and keep it steady. His whole body was trembling with anger. He couldn’t believe Fury would dare use his name, trying to guilt trip him. “I can’t help you. You’ll have to find someone else.”

     He walked out of the warehouse unhindered and walked to the nearest block, wondering why he hadn’t grabbed his suit. He hailed a cab and gave the driver his address. Once he got back to his room, he found Ned sound asleep on his bed where he had put him after Fury had hit him with a knockout dart.

     Guess I’ll take the floor, he thought to himself. He grabbed one of the blankets off of Ned and snagged a dirty hoodie hanging off the end of his bed and dragged them to the floor. He shook out the blanket and balled up the hoodie before laying his head down on it. He pulled the blanket up to his shoulders and rolled onto his back, settling in.

     Just as he got comfortable, his eyes fell on something he had tucked up underneath his bed in the frame. He stuck his arm under it and tried pulling it out but it wouldn’t budge. He grabbed the frame of the bed with both hands and pulled himself toward it, sticking his head and shoulders under it. Using both hands, he managed to work the object out. He pulled himself out and sat up, holding a red, hardcover notebook in his hands. He gently brushed his fingers across the cover, clearing off the dust that had gathered, to reveal what had been engraved on the front of it in gold-foiled lettering. ‘Stark Internship Notebook’.

     He swallowed hard as he opened the book and flipped through the pages. He read through his old notes. Tony had given him the book to record anything he noticed about his suit and its upgrades so he could improve it. It ended up being half journal and half diary. Peter had used it to write down the description of criminals and villains he had encountered, as well as where he ran into them and what they were doing. Eventually, he started writing about the other people he had met too and the adventures he had. He hadn’t written in it since he came back from the Snap. He actually had forgotten about it until he had stumbled across it one day. He hadn’t been able to bring himself to open it, let alone write in it again, since then.

     Peter had closed the book out of guilt when he noticed the corner of something sticking out of it toward the front. He opened it to that page and found a photo of him and Mr. Stark that Aunt May had taken the day he met him. He remembered what Mr. Stark had asked him after he made it clear he knew he was Spider-Man.

     “Why do you do this?” Tony had asked him.

     After a moment, Peter looked Tony in the eye and answered. “When you can do the things that I can, but you don’t, and then the bad things happen, they happen because of you.”

     Peter blinked his eyes, fighting back tears as he looked at Stark Tower. “I’m doing it, Mr. Stark,” his voice cracked. “I’m doing what I can, but there isn’t much I can do. I just... I hope it’s enough.”

     Peter lowered his head and cried, his body wracked with sobs. He desperately wished he could talk to Tony, but he couldn’t. Quentin and Fury had warned him about interfering with the universes he visited. Changing even the slightest thing could doom the universe he was in. The way Quentin talked, that would be a best-case scenario. Because of that, Quentin and Fury wouldn’t tell him anything about the universes he visited beyond whether or not Spider-Man was there. It didn’t matter much anyway, Peter was never in one universe for more than a week or so. In spite of himself though, Peter was confused.

     “No interfering,” he scrunched his face, turning to Quentin. Something didn’t add up. “Isn’t that literally what you guys are planning on me doing?”

     Quentin had told him that he was only to observe and report anything that the monitors had picked up on. That was one of the other things that made this job really difficult- if he saw something bad happening, he couldn’t do a thing to stop it because he couldn’t be seen. He managed to find some ways around it, in spite of the risks. He witnessed a scrawny, drugged-out lowlife try and steal an elderly woman’s purse. He called out from the shadows, startling the guy into running off without the purse. Unable to step forward, he asked the woman if she was ok. Trembling, she just managed to nod before she turned and ran out of the alleyway herself, as scared as the would-be purse snatcher had been. It was a miracle Peter hadn’t given her a heart attack. He followed her from above, keeping to the darkened rooftops, making sure she made it to her destination safely. When he witnessed a mugging he anonymously alerted the police, hoping they would get there in time. It pained him, not being able to do more. He nearly slipped up a time or two but had managed to catch himself just in time.

     Another thing Peter didn’t like was the schedule. He was going out strictly at night and sleeping during the day to reduce his chances of being seen. Peter stayed and watched the tower until the sky started to lighten. He glanced at the bridge below and saw very few cars. He would need to go soon before the morning traffic picked up, but he couldn’t bear to leave just yet. He waited until it was light enough to see the outline of the tower before he flew down to the bridge below and made his way home. ‘Home’ in this case was a little motel in Brooklyn. Fury insisted he stay away from Manhattan and Queens as much as possible, to better avoid anyone from this universe who might know Peter Parker or Spider-Man. It was weird, feeling homesick for a place he was already in. As Peter settled into his bed for the day, he closed his eyes and did his best to tune out the noise of the city below and the police sirens in the distance.

- -

     Across the city, Tony Stark awoke to the smell of coffee filling his room. He blinked his eyes and rolled over with a soft groan.

     “Good morning, boss,” FRIDAY’s soft Irish lit filled his room. “You have a busy day today, two meetings this morning and three this afternoon. Your first meeting is at 8:15.”

     “Move it to 8:30,” Tony replied groggily.

     “Sure thing boss,” FRIDAY replied.

     Tony rolled over and every muscle in his body protested. He slowly sat up, prolonging every little ache and pain as he inched his legs further over the side of his bed and his feet stretched to the floor. He got up and shuffled over to his closet and found the suit he got from Pepper years ago that he wore to most of his meetings.

     “Would you like to hear the morning news, boss?” FRIDAY asked as he pulled the suit from his closet.

     “No,” Tony answered shortly. Most mornings he would listen to the news as he got dressed, or at least he used to. He hadn’t had much interest in the news at all for quite some time actually, beyond the business reports, and even those he hadn’t listened to in a few months. FRIDAY didn’t ask any more questions after that, sensing his mood. Tony finished getting dressed and grabbed the mug waiting for him at the coffee pot on his way out. Heading toward the door, he passed a mirror and saw out of the corner of his eye that he had forgotten a tie. He stopped and sat his coffee down with a sigh before walking back to his closet.

     He opened the little cabinet that held all his ties and cufflinks and skimmed over them. He pushed the layers of silk aside as he looked through them before glancing to his left at the small mirror there. Immediately he thought of the perfect tie... and quickly closed the cabinet with a frustrated sigh.

     Leaving all his ties behind, he walked to the kitchen and found it empty with a note on the fridge.

Off to work. Don’t forget your meetings today. There’s a fruit bowl in the fridge and some granola bars above the stove. See you at 1:00.

                                                                  Love you.

     Tony ignored the note and walked over to the kitchen island where he picked up the morning newspaper. Without so much as looking at the front headline, he walked out of the kitchen and down the hall to the elevator, dropping the newspaper in a recycling can on the way.

     “Take me to the office, Fri,” he spoke after the elevator doors closed behind him. Without a word, the AI started the elevator toward the floor. Tony glanced at his watch and sighed again. 8:35. Oh well.

     The doors opened and he was greeted by the receptionist for the offices. “Good morning, Mr. Stark,” she smiled a little too cheerfully.

     Tony mumbled a reply and placed his empty coffee mug in her outstretched hand with a gruff thanks. He walked into the conference hall and sat own for a presentation from some new upstart looking for an investor. The kid had some great ideas but he was only half-listening. Part of him felt guilty for not paying more attention. She was really enthusiastic, her tight curls bounced a little as she moved around. She had obviously put a lot of effort into every aspect of her presentation; triple checking her sources herself, researching her one-and-only audience member and tailoring it specifically to him, she even had a working model of one of their projects. Try as he might though, Tony just couldn’t bring himself to care. Once the girl concluded her presentation and her assistant had handed him the brochure and business card, giving him a few extra of each, Tony thanked them and said someone would be in touch shortly. He excused himself and left the girl and her assistant looking lost.

     Tony’s stomach grumbled but he didn’t notice as he headed for his next meeting, this one with the director of a charity. He walked into his office and found the director already sitting there.

     “Mr. Stark, it’s a pleasure to see you again,” she rose with a warm smile and extended her hand. “Marissa Kanick, from the New York City Fire Safety Foundation.”

     Tony forced a smile as he took her hand and shook it. “Nice to see you.”

     “I just wanted to come by and thank you personally for your donation,” she started as she sat down across from Tony.

     My donation? Tony thought as he sat down behind his desk. I thought I made that anonymously.

     “Your generosity has helped us replace so many fire escapes all throughout the city and enabled us to update the fire alarm systems in every public school in Brooklyn and half the ones in Queens,” the woman continued with a smile. “As a way of saying thank you, we wanted to invite you to a banquet we are hosting for our donors. You should have already received the email with all the details for the event, but I wanted to come by and ask you in person if you would like to be the guest of honor.” She raised a hand quickly, raising her eyebrows. She had obviously done this before. “You don’t have to decide now, it’s not for another several weeks. Just something to think about.”

     “Uh, thanks. I- I will. Think about it.” Tony managed to say as his blood pressure rose and his jaw clenched slightly.

     “Wonderful! I look forward to seeing you there either way,” the woman rose to her feet with another dazzling smile and extended her hand again.

     Tony shook it and watched as the woman turned and left. As soon as the door closed behind her, he turned around in his chair. “FRIDAY, email the charity, tell them I won’t be coming to the banquet.” He took a deep breath and let it out slowly.

     “Yes, boss,” the AI replied dutifully. Tony leaned back in his chair and sighed. After a moment he pulled out his phone and checked it. A text from Harley that simply said ‘call me.’ Harley never wanted to talk, he always preferred texting and, when he did talk, it was never just to chat. Tony ignored the text and saw a missed call from Pepper. He felt a little guilty again, but he just didn’t have the energy right now. He would make it up to her later. The office was quiet once again, and Tony had assumed FRIDAY had returned to sleep mode, but he was wrong.

     “Boss, if I may,” she spoke up and Tony let out a groan. She continued before he had a chance to object. “You don’t seem to be yourself today. Are you feeling ok?” The AI knew what Tony would say- and she knew the truth of the matter too.

     “I’m fine, Fri,” Tony growled.

     “Boss, I think you should get some rest, especially if you’re planning on going out tonight,” FRIDAY pressed.

     “Yeah, I’ll do that,” Tony snarked dryly.

     “Perfect. I’ve taken the liberty of clearing your schedule. The rest of your meetings for the day have been rescheduled for next Tuesday. Goodnight, boss,” the AI chimed.

     “Wait, what?” Tony started, bewildered. “Fri. FRIDAY!” Tony shouted. The AI had gone too far. She never did anything with his schedule unless she was told to.

     “What the hell d--” he stopped as his thoughts drifted to his missed call from Pepper. “Never mind,” he growled. He stalked to the elevator. “Take me home.”

     When the doors slid open he stormed out and went straight to his home office. He threw himself in the chair with a sigh as the anger dissipated. He checked his phone and tossed it on the desk with a scoff. Five missed calls. The one from Pepper, one from Rhodey, one from Harley, one from Natasha and one from May. He turned away from his desk and faced the wall behind him, covered in photos, newspaper articles, and awards. None of them meant a damn thing, not a single one. His eyes came to rest on a bottle of whiskey that had been sitting there since the day he took over the company and the crystal tumbler sitting next to it.

     He stared at it for a long time, lost in thought. It had tempted him time and time again over the years. When he almost died during the invasion, when the team split up, when he learned the truth about his parents’ deaths, when they finally won against Thanos... but today? Today he wanted it. He wanted it so badly he could practically taste it, feel the slow burn as he swallowed the smooth, amber liquid. He closed his eyes tight and turned away. No. Not again. Never again. He picked up the bottle and dropped it in the trash beside his desk as he headed for his room.

     The doors slid open automatically as he walked in. Tony walked over to his bed and sat down on it, kicking off his shoes. He had one hell of a headache and the light shining through the window was not helping one bit.

     “FRIDAY, do something about the light, would you?” he asked as he pulled his legs up onto the bed with a groan. “And tell Pepper not to wake me.”

     “Yes, boss,” FRIDAY answered, her lilt soothing to Tony’s ears as the windows tinted. Tony closed his eyes and settled into his bed, still dressed except for his shoes.

     “Goodnight, boss,” FRIDAY spoke softly as Tony drifted off into an uneasy sleep.

--- Next part   Masterlist   Buy me a coffee?

Taglist: (If you want to be added, just send me a message, it’s no trouble at all!) @xmarveled @parkerspicedlatte @myworstdays @bla-369

[apprenticebard]

People I met today:

- Little boy who said he liked math and science, but not as much as he liked Spider-Man. He couldn't read, so he had me read a Spider-Man book to him. He did not manage to guess what Peter Parker's secret was. He had the coolest hat of anybody in the library.

- Girl who shook her head "no" when asked if she paid as much attention in school as she did to our story time. She blew through a step-2 Moana book in a couple minutes, then read a step-3 nonfiction book about the differences between cats and dogs. When I asked if she wanted to play games, she asked if we could keep reading instead. (We kept reading.) She wanted me to know that she used to have a dog, but it got shot in the leg. She said "thank you" every time I helped her with a word. I didn't have to help her very much.

- Very small girl who did not know what the first letter of her name was. (I wrote her name in her book for her, but I had to guess at the spelling.) She knew one letter, and the letter was "B", which she recognized on the front of the Barbie Dream House in the book we read. She repeated everything I read under her breath, a half-second after me. She liked Spider-Man, too. (The Spider-Man book informed us that everyone likes Spider-Man. Presumably it takes place in an AU where the Daily Bugle isn't constantly running hit pieces on him.) She asked me to read her Barbie book to her again after we finished it, then hugged me before she left.

- Third-grade boy who picked out the same TMNT book as the kid from yesterday, except this kid could actually read it. He ended up taking an easier TMNT book home, though, because 1) his brother already had the harder book, and 2) the easier book came with stickers. These are both very sensible reasons, IMO. I would also add that the easier book had robot sharks in space, while the harder book had robots that were neither sharks nor in space.

- Extremely small boy who was very insistent about picking up his own mess. He occasionally said that I could help him move a few game pieces off the floor and back into the box, but he would object if I helped too much. He also wanted specific pieces in specific places and would move them if I put them in the wrong spot, even though the pieces appeared to be identical.

- Older boy who didn't really need help reading his chapter book. I did get to explain to him what jousting was, though. I beat him at Connect Four. I actually beat several kids at Connect Four. I had no idea that I was decent at Connect Four. I considered letting them win, but they weren’t little kids, and I didn’t want to insult their Connect Four skills.

- Very small child who stood up during story time and tried to offer dandelions to the illustrations of the three billygoats gruff. He later found a cool stick and immediately ran off to show his mom.

Things I learned:

- I will never be as cool as Spider-Man. This is OK. We all have a day in our lives where we make peace with the fact that we will never be as cool as five-year-olds think Spider-Man is. It’s a necessary stage in our development as people.

- It's basically impossible to help more than one kid at a time if the kids are all reading different books. (This is true even if they have multiple copies of the same book—one of the kids will read ahead instead of following along, and then chaos ensues shortly thereafter.) I think next time I'm going to have to insist that we read the books one by one, as a group, because otherwise some kids get ignored or distracted, meaning 1) the ignored kids get sad, and 2) everything inevitably spirals out of control. It's even harder if you end up with a group where the kids are at very different reading levels, so I'm going to try to minimize that in the future.

- People who write and illustrate early reader books about cartoon and movie characters are heroes. Even (or especially) if kids don't like reading, they like the pictures of their favorite heroes from TV, which gives you at least a small opportunity to interest them in the story and help them practice literacy skills.

- You need to be really frickin’ loud if you want to read a story to kids who are either 1) eating lunch, or 2) outside. It's a good thing I already know the story of the three billygoats gruff, because I definitely couldn't hear our story team at some of our locations. I’ll have to make sure to project a lot when it’s my turn to present a book.

- In related news, my hearing is impressively terrible, and small children are either super loud or very, very quiet. But no matter how quiet they are, it's very important to try to repeat their names, then let them correct you if you get them wrong, rather than pretending you heard them fine the first time and hoping it doesn't come up again. This is partly because it's a good way to establish respect for them, and partly because "[name], we need to be quiet and listen now" is way more effective than going "hey. hey. hey. hey" until they happen to realize that you're talking to them.

- Mermaid Island looks like a really boring and terrible game, but it’s actually a great game for very small children, who are still struggling with concepts like "not touching the spinner until it stops" and "counting to two". Very small children are very smart, but they were also born, like, five weeks ago. They have no idea what anything is. It’s important to account for this when trying to entertain them.

- Apples to Apples is a fantastic game for any group old enough to read, but it becomes super tense if you play it outside while there are strong winds. Not that you should necessarily let that stop you, but you should be prepared for it to transform into an activity that is 50% card game and 50% extreme sport.

- Connect Four is a terrible game for a group of three children. In hindsight, this discovery should have been obvious.

- My city is ridiculously segregated. Roughly half my college classes are 100% white or white-passing (the other half typically have one or two students who are visibly not white), and I can think of maybe one black family in my neighborhood, but every site we've been to so far has been majority (or entirely) black. Obviously I knew we had majority-black neighborhoods (my brother lives in one), but I hadn't realized how stark the divisions were. It's fairly creepy, compared to the diversity of the school and neighborhood where I grew up. (I’m still homesick. I can’t wait to graduate so I can move back.)

The summer reading program seems kind of pathetically inadequate, given the needs of the kids who participate in it, but I’m glad it exists anyway. Giving out free books and reading lessons is only a tiny piece of what you need to do to give everyone the opportunity to succeed, but eh. A boy learned the word "joust" today. A girl recognized the letter "B". Some kids got to eat free lunches. Something was accomplished, however small it might have been. More will be accomplished tomorrow. I will probably suck less at my job.

It’s a really, really good job.