#MIKE ONE CHANCE PLEASE
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girliism · 3 months ago
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THE VOICES
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angyalikira · 1 year ago
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sfw + nsfw relationship headcanons for mike schmidt
author's note: had a lot of thoughts regarding this pretty boy and i decided to finally write them down! do tell me if you have similar or totally different hcs for him, would love to hear everyone's opinions <3
⋆ ˚。⋆୨୧˚
sfw
⋆ super awkward at first and says some embarrassing stuff because he doesn't know how to act around you
⋆ gets more comfortable with time and the conversations flow more naturally
⋆ enjoys observing you and your reactions to anything really
⋆ doesn't initiate a lot of conversation at first because he sucks at it, but that doesn't mean he isn't interested
⋆ be prepared to be the one to initiate meet ups and conversations a lot (he really appreciates you for doing that though)
⋆ tries to be super respectful and always keeps an appropriate distance between you guys
⋆ you have to sit closer to him or stand right next to him so he gets the hint that you are comfortable with being closer to him
⋆ in the beginning he does ask if it is alright to sit so close to you
⋆ either you have to confess or he confesses randomly one day bc he slipped up
⋆ he doesn't think himself worthy of your attention or love, that's why he never planned to confess
⋆ if he's the one who confesses on accident, he will panic because he fears that this will make you distance yourself from him
⋆ please please PLEASE reassure this boy and give him a big hug so he knows you feel the same way and can calm a bit down
⋆ on the first day he still can't wrap his mind around how you reacted positively to his confession and that you feel the same way
⋆ it takes a bit of reassurance and confirmation that yes you DO actually like him and yes you really do want to be with him
⋆ once he gets comfortable with the idea, he will be so clingy and touchy
⋆ still fears to loose you and that you might change your mind so he wants to show you how much you mean to him in every possible way
⋆ he cooks for you, he lets you borrow his clothes, he gives you a lot of cuddles
⋆ what he still struggles with at first is kissing you whenever he wants (which he could do now)
⋆ so please kiss this pretty boy often so he can get comfortable with that too
⋆ at first his kisses are soft and slow, holding and treating you with utmost care
⋆ his heart always feels like it will explode when you guys kiss, he feels so much love for you
⋆ but once he gets used to kissing you he gets more needy and a bit sloppy, like his life depended on it
⋆ he never gets too rough with it though, he respects you too much to ever treat you roughly
⋆ he also loves your cheek kisses, it makes him feel so loved
⋆ now let's get to hand holding – his favourite activity
⋆ he finds your hands so soft and warm, if he could he would never let go of them
⋆ he will find any excuse to hold your hand as much as he can: while cooking (to show off how good he is with only using one of his hands), while cuddling and watching a show, while going out and about (he's also a bit possessive of you)
⋆ he also LOVES when you link your arms together, especially when you snuggle up to him that way
⋆ makes him feel very manly and protective of you (in a non toxic way ofc)
⋆ this man is so touch starved, he will thrive so much on the smallest of gestures in general
⋆ he loves when you play with his hair, makes his headaches immediately disappear
⋆ he loves to be the small spoon since he is so used to being the protector and provider, it's nice to just be held and being cared for sometimes
⋆ another cuddling position he loves is holding you in his arms while you have abby in yours, that way he can hold his whole world in his arms
⋆ sleeping with him also includes either him sleeping on top of you, you sleeping on top of him or you snuggled up to his side. point is he has to touch you in some way
⋆ going back to his slightly possessive side, he ADORES when you wear his clothes
⋆ those times he feels like he is on cloud nine and he wishes he could just freeze this moment and live in it forever
⋆ he loves the domestic vibes of it (he is very domestic in general)
⋆ tries to act like it's not that big of a deal to him but you see right through him
⋆ it also makes him feel good when you are meeting other people while wearing his clothes, it's like marking you to him
⋆ he in fact adores it so much that you could be standing in the kitchen with his shirt on on a random day and he would come in, see you and seriously debate if he should just ask you to marry him right then and there
���˚. ୭ ˚○◦˚.˚◦○˚ ୧ .˚ₓ ₓ˚. ୭ ˚○◦˚.˚◦○˚ ୧ .˚ₓ ₓ˚. ୭ ˚○◦˚.˚◦○˚ ୧ .˚ₓ
nsfw
⋆ idc what anyone else says, this man is not a dom – he's so submissive (maybe he has little switch side too him but that's it)
⋆ he LOVES when you take absolute control and boss him around
⋆ make him beg and he will cum just by the thought of touching you
⋆ he loves being overstimulated and will cry but beg you to not stop
⋆ he also wants you to be satisfied and comfortable every time, you are his first priority
⋆ he is open to trying things out, he trusts you enough for it
⋆ his favourite position is you on top riding him
⋆ this boy loves to mark you in any way possible
⋆ expect hickeys all over your neck, collarbones and thighs
⋆ he likes to cum deep inside you, another way of him to mark you
⋆ in return he also likes it when you mark him, it's a nice reminder for him that he is yours as you are his
⋆ he gets off on getting his hair pulled and moans every time you do it
⋆ he's a whiner and LOUD, but will try his best to be as quiet as possible (since abby is in the same house)
⋆ regarding abby, he will try to fuck you whenever she is not home but if she is he will try to put on the radio, the tv, anything so she doesn't have to suspect anything
⋆ he also won't risk doing it outside his room, he doesn't want to disturb her in any way or form
⋆ that being said, he loves being teased and getting excited to fuck
⋆ especially when you guys are out with others and you tease him under the table
⋆ since he is a bit socially awkward he will have a hard time managing the conversations and keeping a straight face but he loves the thrill of it
⋆ but just as before, he loves and cares for you too much to just fuck you out in public (even in the public toilets), he will wait till you guys get home so he can have you in private
⋆ he likes to go multiple rounds and enjoys spending a lot of time with you
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cuteskunkz · 8 months ago
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Not now kitten, daddy has to write fanfic about a jhutch character from 12 years ago
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jhutchism · 1 year ago
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the Thoughts being thunk… i want him Bad.
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dollyiia · 6 months ago
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he doesn’t get enough loveee 😫😫😫 he’s so fine, i’d treat his dick SO WELL
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joshs-big-toe · 1 year ago
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here’s some baby joshy to make your day better
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autotheophagic · 8 months ago
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ummmm excuse me mrs and mr spiritbox? do u like. Need a third
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calico-daydream · 10 months ago
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The duality of man(kind)
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hopelesssheaven · 1 year ago
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I need Josh Hutcherson so badly I don't think I've ever wanted a man this badly its like Ellie Williams bad
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moonchild-in-blue · 4 months ago
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The fact that today started to rain quite a bit after months because my Holiest Blorbo knew I'd hella pissed off and needed to calm down. Thank you G, you're the realest homie fr fr 🙌
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snake-in-your-garden · 2 years ago
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looks around
hey 👋 you crawford
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user2772636 · 7 months ago
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Plsplsplpslpslplsplsplsplspls one chance PLEASE
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i am not okay. need me a mike faist asap
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joshs-big-toe · 1 year ago
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if anyone volunteers to give me a lobotomy this is the time I WANT TO HUG HIM SO BAD
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bueckets · 1 month ago
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Going UP?
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Pairing: Paige Bueckers x Reader
Description: From missed alarms to broken elevators, your Tuesday couldn't get worse, well, until it gets better. When a late-running grad student's desperate dash to save her thesis turns into an unexpected elevator encounter with UConn basketball sensation Paige Bueckers, she learns that sometimes the best assists come from broken machinery.
Armed with nothing but coffee-fueled anxiety and an encyclopedic knowledge of basketball analytics, you find yourself trading quips with college basketball's golden girl in a stalled elevator. What starts as a disaster turns into something else entirely when basketball theory meets practice, terrible jokes meet dangerous grins, and hot chocolate meets, well, everywhere except the mug.
They say love is a game of chances. But when you're trapped between floors with a girl who can bend physics on the court and make your heart run suicides off it, maybe it's worth taking the shot. Sometimes cupid doesn't use arrows. Sometimes he just breaks the elevator.
Featuring: One (1) very broken elevator Several questionably colored cocktails A security guard who's seen it all Basketball plays drawn in spilled Shirley Temples Analytics-based flirting And a whipped cream fight that definitely isn't regulation play
Coming soon to wherever meet-cutes happen in college sports. (Rated R for excessive basketball puns and gay panic)
WC: 8.1k (roughly)
Genre/Notes: uh, i tried to be funny, floofy, rom-com-ish? (i tried), smut at the end, someone gets their kitty ATE, proof read like 50%
Your sneakers pound against the cracked, patchy sidewalk of North Campus, dodging the construction zone that's been "two weeks from completion" since freshman year. The November air bites at your cheeks, sharp as broken glass, and your laptop bag repeatedly slams into your hip with each stride, probably turning your thesis notes into digital confetti. A gust of wind lashes at you, tugging at your jacket, your hair, your sanity, and sending a rogue candy wrapper tumbling like a lonely tumbleweed across the quad like some 50’s Old West showdown. 
You'd woken up to three missed calls from your advisor and an email that made your soul leave your body.
Meeting moved to 9:15 AM. Please bring updated analytics models.
It's 9:12.
The universe is really testing you today. First, your roommate's cat knocked your phone off the nightstand, somehow managing to turn off all five of your alarms. Then, the dining hall’s card reader had the audacity to look at your student ID like it was written in crayon, leaving you to scavenge through your bag for exact change like a Victorian orphan. And now this.
You weave through the crowd of freshmen congregating outside the Student Union like they've never seen stairs before, your thermos of room-temperature coffee sloshing dangerously close to the lid. The wind whips a forgotten syllabus past your feet as you cut across the grass (sorry, campus maintenance), taking the "shortcut" that everyone pretends they don't use. You can practically hear the landscaping team groaning somewhere, shaking their heads at the worn-down dirt trail you and a thousand other students have carved into their perfect lawn.
Gampel Pavilion looms ahead, all glass and steel and architectural hubris. The morning sun hits it at an angle that makes it look like it's on fire, which feels appropriate given your current state of mild panic. You've spent so many hours in this building that the security guard, Mike, doesn't even look up from his crossword puzzle anymore when you scan your ID.
"Running late?" he calls out as you blast past his desk.
"What gave it away?" you shout back, already halfway to the elevators. Your sneakers squeak against the polished floors, leaving behind a faint trail of panic and shame— but most importantly, dirt. 
The ancient LED display above the elevator shows it's on the third floor. You slam the up button approximately forty-seven times, as if that's ever made an elevator move faster in the history of vertical transportation.
"Come on, come on," you mutter, shifting your weight between feet like you're doing some demented speed-skating warm-up. Your laptop bag keeps sliding off your shoulder, and you're pretty sure your hair looks like you styled it in a wind tunnel.  A strand falls into your eyes, and you blow it away with a frustrated huff. Everything about you screams disaster, and yet the elevator couldn’t care less.
The elevator dings. The doors slide open with all the urgency of a DMV employee on a Friday afternoon.
And there she is.
Paige Bueckers is leaning against the back wall of the elevator, one foot propped up behind her, looking like she just stepped out of a Nike ad. Her practice uniform is pristine, her blonde hair pulled back in a perfect ponytail that somehow hasn't gotten the memo about today's wind situation. She's got AirPods in, absently spinning a basketball between her hands like it's an extension of her body.
Your brain short-circuits. 
Time seems to slow down as you stand there, probably looking like a deer caught in very attractive headlights. The elevator dings again, threatening to close its doors on your moment of crisis.
Fuck it.
You lunge forward just as the doors start to close, practically diving into the elevator like you're trying to save a ball going out of bounds. Your coffee sloshes, your bag swings, and you nearly face-plant into the corner.
Paige pulls out one AirPod, her eyebrows raised so high they might achieve orbit. "Nice entrance."
You straighten up, trying to salvage whatever dignity might be hiding in the corners of this elevator. "Thanks, I've been practicing."
The elevator starts its ascent with a concerning rattle that definitely wasn't part of the original design. You adjust your bag for the hundredth time, very aware that you probably look like you just lost a fight with a leaf blower. Meanwhile, Paige keeps spinning that damn basketball, the soft thump-thump of it between her hands matching rhythm with your still-racing heart.
Nine floors to go. Eight if your advisor hasn't moved offices again after the Great Coffee Incident of last semester.
You can handle this. You're an adult. A slightly disheveled, possibly caffeine-deprived adult, but still. Just because you're sharing an elevator with the university's basketball goddess doesn't mean you need to—
The lights flicker once. Twice.
The elevator shudders like it's having an existential crisis.
Then everything stops.
The emergency lights kick in, bathing everything in a red glow that makes Paige look like she's starring in a very stylish apocalypse movie. The basketball stops spinning.
"Well," she says, tucking the ball under her arm and giving you a smile that definitely doesn't make your stomach flip. "Looks like the universe has other plans for us this morning."
You look at your phone: 9:14 AM.
Your advisor is going to kill you.
"Oh fuck, fuck, fuck," you mutter, jabbing at the emergency call button like it personally offended you. "This isn't happening. This can't be happening."
The little red light blinks back at you, mocking your entire existence, as if to say, yeah, good luck with that, idiot. You hit the button again, harder this time, because maybe the elevator just needs some aggressive encouragement.
"I don't think that's helping," Paige says, watching you with a mix of amusement and concern. She's still spinning that goddamn basketball, the rhythmic thump-thump now feeling less like a heartbeat and more like a countdown to your academic doom.
"Yeah? Well, neither are you," you snap, immediately regretting it. Great. Now you're trapped in an elevator AND you've just been rude to Paige fucking Bueckers. "Shit, sorry, I just—" You run both hands through your already catastrophic hair. "My advisor is going to crucify me. Like, actually crucify me. She's probably got a cross picked out and everything."
Paige catches the ball mid-spin. "Dr. Martinez?"
"How did you—"
"The only professor I know who actually might own a cross for student crucifixions." She tucks the ball under her arm. "She made one of our freshmen cry last week just by looking at her."
"That tracks." You slide down the wall opposite her, your legs finally giving up on the whole standing thing. "God, I can't believe this. I've got my entire thesis presentation on this laptop, three months of analytics data that I haven't backed up because I'm an idiot, and now I'm going to die in an elevator with—" You wave vaguely in her direction.
"With?" She raises an eyebrow, and you swear there's a smirk playing at the corner of her mouth.
"With UConn's basketball savior who's probably missing practice right now because the universe decided today was a great day for some cosmic practical joke." You let your head thunk back against the wall. "Coach Auriemma's probably already got a hit out on me."
Paige laughs, and the sound does something weird to your chest. "Nah, Coach is more of a 'make you run suicides until you puke' kind of guy. Much less paperwork than murder."
"Fantastic. So I'll die from academic execution AND athletic retribution. Perfect way to start a Tuesday."
"You always this dramatic before 9:30?" She's definitely smirking now.
"Only when I'm trapped in elevators with pretty girls who should be at practice."
The words are out before your brain can catch up with your mouth. Your eyes go wide, and you seriously consider trying to pry open the doors and jump down the shaft.
But Paige just grins, wide and dangerous. "Oh, so you think I'm pretty?"
"I think you're deflecting from the fact that we're stuck in a metal box that's older than both of us combined," you say, proud of how steady your voice comes out despite the internal screaming.
"And I think you're deflecting from the fact that you just called me pretty."
You pull out your phone again, desperate for a distraction. "No signal. Perfect. This is fine. Everything is fine."
"Could be worse," Paige says, stretching her legs out in front of her. Her feet almost reach where you're sitting, and you absolutely do not notice how long her legs are. "Could be stuck in here with Dr. Martinez."
That startles a laugh out of you. "Jesus, don't even joke about that. She'd probably make me defend my thesis right here."
"Yeah? What's it about?"
You look up from your phone to find her watching you with what appears to be genuine interest. "You really want to know?"
"Well," she gestures around the elevator, "it's not like I've got anywhere else to be."
You narrow your eyes. "If this is some kind of pity conversation—"
"It's not." She cuts you off, her voice surprisingly firm. "I'm actually curious. Plus, you look like you might spontaneously combust if you don't talk about something other than being stuck in here."
She's not wrong. Your leg has been bouncing non-stop since you sat down, and you're pretty sure you're about to wear a hole in your bottom lip from biting it.
"Fine," you say, setting your phone aside. "But remember, you asked for this. And if you fall asleep, I'm using that basketball as a pillow."
Paige's eyes light up with something that makes your stomach flip. "Deal."
"Okay, so you know how current basketball analytics are basically just glorified box scores?" You shift to face her properly, your earlier panic morphing into the kind of enthusiasm that usually makes people's eyes glaze over. "Like, sure, we can track points and assists and whatever, but that's just the obvious stuff."
"And there's more than the obvious stuff?" Paige asks, settling in like she's actually planning to follow your inevitably chaotic explanation.
"So much more." You pull your laptop out, balancing it on your crossed legs. "Like, imagine being able to track not just who made the shot, but all the little things that made that shot possible. The way players move without the ball, how defensive shifts create spaces that don't show up in any stat sheet.”
Your hands start moving as you talk, painting invisible patterns in the air. Paige has stopped spinning her basketball, her eyes following your gestures with an intensity that makes you warm all over.
"It's like..." You pause, trying to find the right words. "You know how in chess, sometimes the most important move isn't the one that takes the piece, but the three moves before that made it possible?"
She nods, leaning forward slightly. "Like a setup play."
"Exactly!" You're fully animated now, previous elevator crisis temporarily forgotten. "But current systems don't track that. They don't see how Player A moving left makes Player B's defender shift just enough that Player C can—"
The emergency speaker crackles to life, making you both jump.
"Hello? Anyone in there?" The voice sounds bored, like stuck elevators are just another Tuesday morning inconvenience.
Paige reaches over and hits the call button. "Yeah, we're here. Two people."
"Alright, we've got maintenance heading up. Should have you out in about fifteen minutes. Sit tight."
The speaker clicks off, leaving you both in that red-tinted silence again.
"Fifteen minutes," you groan, letting your head fall back against the wall. "Dr. Martinez is definitely going to have that cross ready."
"Hey," Paige says, and something in her voice makes you look at her. "Tell me more about your system. How do you track all those micro-movements?"
You blink at her. "You actually want to hear more?"
"Would I ask if I didn't?" She's got this soft half-smile that does dangerous things to your ability to think straight. "Plus, you get all..." she waves her hand vaguely, "sparkly when you talk about it."
"Sparkly?"
"Yeah, like you're lit up from the inside." She says it so casually, like she hasn't just made your heart do a full court press against your ribs.
You clear your throat, trying to remember how words work. "Right. Well, um, I've been working with the computer vision lab to develop these tracking algorithms..."
The next fifteen minutes dissolve into a blur of technical explanations and basketball theory. Paige asks surprisingly specific questions, and you try not to look too pleased every time she leans in closer to see something on your laptop screen.
When maintenance finally gets the elevator moving again, it feels too soon.
The doors open on the fourth floor – your floor – and you scramble to pack up your laptop, suddenly aware that you've spent the last twenty minutes word-vomiting about analytics to one of the best basketball players in the country.
"Thanks for, uh, keeping me from completely losing it," you say, standing awkwardly in the doorway. "And sorry about the whole..." you gesture vaguely at yourself, "chaos."
Paige stands too, and even in the normal lighting, she's unfairly pretty. "Chaos looks good on you."
Your brain short-circuits. "Can I get your number?"
The words tumble out before you can stop them, and you immediately want to crawl into the nearest trash can. But Paige just grins, that dangerous one that makes her look like she knows exactly what she's doing to you.
"Tell you what," she says, spinning the basketball on one finger because apparently she's physically incapable of not showing off. "Come to Friday's game. If you can spot one of those micro-interactions you were talking about..." She lets the ball roll down her arm and catches it smoothly. "Maybe you'll find out if I give my number to random girls I meet in elevators."
She backs into the elevator, maintaining eye contact until the doors close between you.
You stand there for a solid thirty seconds, staring at the brushed metal doors like they might reveal the secrets of the universe. Or at least explain how you went from having a mental breakdown about your advisor to what definitely felt like flirting with Paige Bueckers.
Your phone buzzes: another email from Dr. Martinez.
Meeting rescheduled to 2PM. Bring coffee. The good kind.
You look back at the elevator doors, then at your phone, then at the ceiling.
Looks like you're going to a basketball game on Friday.
The security guard at Gampel's student entrance looks at your ticket, then at you, then back at the ticket with the kind of suspicion usually reserved for people trying to use expired coupons at Target.
"This is— courtside," he says slowly, like maybe you don't understand what those words mean.
"Yeah, I, uh,” You shift your weight between feet, very aware of the growing line behind you. "I got it in an email?"
It comes out like a question because honestly, you're still not entirely sure this isn't some elaborate fever dream. The past three days have felt surreal, starting with Dr. Martinez actually smiling during your rescheduled meeting (turns out that fancy coffee shop downtown does make a difference) and ending with an email from [email protected] that made you choke on your morning cereal.
The security guard squints at his scanner like it's personally offending him. "These are usually reserved for—"
"Is there a problem?" A familiar voice cuts through the growing awkwardness, and you turn to find Mike, your elevator-lobby guardian angel, approaching with his signature "I've seen too much student nonsense" expression.
"Got a courtside ticket here, but—"
"Oh, yeah," Mike says, shooting you a look that's somewhere between amused and knowing. "This one's good. Let 'em through."
You mouth a 'thank you' as you pass, and he just shakes his head, muttering something that sounds suspiciously like "kids these days" under his breath.
The student section is already packed, a sea of navy and white that ripples with pre-game energy. But your ticket directs you past all that, down, down, down the steps until you're so close to the court you can smell the fresh polish on the hardwood.
"This isn't happening," you mutter to yourself, dropping into your assigned seat—which is literally close enough to high-five players coming off the court. "This is fine. Everything is fine. You're just casually sitting courtside at a sold-out game because you got trapped in an elevator and word-vomited about basketball analytics for twenty minutes. Totally normal Friday night."
The woman next to you, wearing what looks like several hundred dollars worth of UConn gear, gives you a concerned side-eye.
"Sorry," you say, slinking lower in your seat. "I talk to myself when I'm having an existential crisis."
She just nods and shifts slightly away, which, fair.
The arena fills up quickly, the ambient noise growing from a buzz to a roar. You try to look casual, like you totally belong here and didn't spend forty-five minutes earlier having a breakdown about what to wear to a basketball game when you're sitting close enough to be on TV. (You'd finally settled on jeans and a UConn hoodie, figuring if you're going to have a gay panic on national television, you might as well be comfortable.)
The teams come out for warm-ups, and your heart definitely doesn't skip when you spot number 5 leading the layup line. Paige moves like she's got some sort of cheat code for gravity, each motion fluid and precise. She's got her game face on, all focused intensity and practiced routine, but then—
She catches your eye as she circles back to the line, and her serious expression cracks just enough to let through a hint of that dangerous grin from the elevator.
"Oh, I am so screwed," you breathe, and the woman next to you shifts another inch away.
The game itself is a blur of motion and noise. You try to focus on analyzing plays like you promised, looking for those micro-interactions you'd rambled about, but it's hard to think strategically when Paige keeps making passes that shouldn't be physically possible. Your laptop's probably having a stroke trying to track all these movements.
By halftime, UConn's up by twelve, and you've filled three pages of your Notes app with what started as technical observations but has devolved into increasingly incoherent capslock about various impressive plays. The latest note just says "HOW DID SHE EVEN SEE THAT CUTTING GUARD??? PHYSICS???? HELP????"
"Nice analysis."
You nearly drop your phone. Paige is right there, pretending to adjust her shoes by the bench but clearly smirking in your direction.
"I'm being professionally thorough," you whisper-hiss back, trying to ignore how your pulse is doing full-court sprints.
"Uh huh." She stands up, heading back to the huddle, but not before adding, "You look good in UConn blue, by the way."
You spend the entire third quarter trying to remember how to breathe normally.
The fourth quarter is when you see it—one of those perfect setup plays you'd theorized about. Paige moves left, drawing her defender, while simultaneously nodding almost imperceptibly to her teammate. The slight movement causes a chain reaction: the defense shifts, creating a gap that shouldn't exist, and suddenly there's a perfect passing lane that materializes out of seemingly nowhere. The ball flows through it like water finding the path of least resistance, resulting in an easy layup that looks simple but was actually three moves in the making.
You're on your feet before you realize it, pointing and probably looking deranged. "That! That's exactly what I was talking about! The head fake was the trigger but it wasn't even about the—" You cut yourself off, becoming aware that several people are staring at you, including the woman next to you who's now practically in the next seat over.
As the final buzzer sounds (UConn by 18), your phone buzzes with a new email.
Subject: Nice catch
Body: 617-555-0147
PS - Your "professional analysis" face is reaaaaallly cute. Even from ten feet away.
You stare at your phone long enough that the arena starts to empty around you, afraid that if you look away the numbers might disappear like some basketball Cinderella story. The woman next to you finally gets up, edging past with the kind of caution usually reserved for wild animals.
"Sorry about all the,” you gesture vaguely at yourself.
She just pats your shoulder with grandmotherly sympathy. "Honey, I've been watching basketball for forty years, and I've never seen someone have a gay awakening quite that enthusiastically. Good luck with number five."
You're still sputtering when she disappears up the stairs, leaving you alone with a phone number and the distinct feeling that the universe is either laughing at you or playing matchmaker.
Possibly both.
Nah— Definitely both.
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After what feels like an eternity of staring at your phone like it holds the secrets of the universe, your bladder kindly reminds you that you stress-drank an entire large iced coffee before the game. Fucking wonderful. You glance at the concourse��and immediately regret every life choice that led to this moment.
The bathroom line snakes around the corner like some kind of hydra-headed monster, full of people who clearly had the same brilliant beverage ideas you did. You briefly consider just holding it and dealing with the consequences later, but your body has other plans.
"This is karma," you mutter, taking your place at the end of the line. "This is definitely karma for all those times I made fun of people waiting in long bathroom lines."
The girl in front of you snorts. "If it helps, I'm pretty sure we're all suffering from the same coffee-based poor judgment."
Twenty minutes. Twenty. Entire. Minutes.
You've gone through every social media app twice, responded to three emails you've been avoiding, and played enough Candy Crush to rot your remaining brain cells by the time you finally emerge from the bathroom. The arena is practically empty now, just cleaning crew and a few lingering fans.
Your phone feels heavy in your pocket, that number burning a hole in your mind. You pull it out, staring at the digits like they might rearrange themselves into instructions on how to text your elevator-meet-cute crush without sounding like a complete disaster.
To: 617-555-0147
Hey, this is your favorite elevator analytics nerd. Great game tonight. That fourth-quarter setup play was chef's kiss
You hit send before you can overthink it, then immediately regret every word choice. Chef's kiss? Really? Maybe if you run fast enough, you can catch up to your dignity before it leaves the building entirely.
Your phone buzzes before you can fully commit to your shame spiral.
From: Paige 🏀
some of us are heading to murphy's for dirty shirleys if you want to continue your "professional analysis" in person? promise there won't be any elevators involved
You nearly trip over your own feet.
Will there be a formal presentation required? Should I prepare slides?
just your sparkling personality and maybe an explanation of how you knew that play was coming before I did 😉
Bold of you to assume I wasn't just gesturing wildly at a mosquito 
we both know you're too much of a basketball nerd for that. meet you there in 20?
You pause at the arena exit, looking down at your very casual, very not-prepared-to-go-out outfit. But then again, when has anything about this situation been normal? 
Your eyes shoot back to your phone and your frantic typing begins once again.
Only if you promise to explain how that behind-the-back pass in the third quarter didn't break several laws of physics
deal. and hey?
Yeah?
the hoodie really does look good on you
Your stomach shoots to your ass and you stand there grinning at your phone like an idiot until Mike, doing his final security rounds, walks by and shakes his head.
"Don't stay out too late, kid," he calls over his shoulder. "These love stories always get complicated when they start in elevators."
"That was literally ONE MOVIE," you shout after him, but he just waves without turning around.
You look down at your phone one more time, then up at the now-empty arena, and can't help but laugh. Somehow, a broken elevator, an understanding security guard, and a basketball player with a dangerous grin have turned your disaster of a week into whatever this is.
Time to find out if Dirty Shirleys taste better when you're sharing them with a girl who can bend physics on a basketball court.
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Murphy's is exactly what would happen if a sports bar had a baby with a college town dive and raised it on a strict diet of neon signs and questionable decor choices. The walls are plastered with enough UConn memorabilia to fill a museum, if museums were into collecting signed napkins and mysteriously stained jerseys.
Your stomach is doing Olympic-level gymnastics as you push open the door, immediately hit by the smell of mozzarella sticks and what you really hope is just decades of spilled beer. The place is packed with post-game energy, and you're pretty sure your heart stops completely when you spot Paige at a corner booth, still in her game-day warmups because apparently she just casually walks around looking like a Nike ad.
"Analytics nerd!" she calls out, waving you over with that stupid grin that makes your brain cells commit mass suicide. "We saved you a seat!"
The 'we' turns out to be a collection of players who could probably stack on top of each other and touch the moon. You slide into the only open spot—right next to Paige, because the universe is clearly not done testing your ability to form coherent sentences today.
"Everyone, this is the elevator girl who knows more about our plays than we do," Paige announces, and your face goes hot enough to fry an egg. "Elevator girl, this is everyone."
"I have a name, you know," you manage, trying to ignore how her shoulder is pressed against yours in the crowded booth.
"Yeah, but 'elevator girl' has a better ring to it," she says, sliding a violently pink drink your way. "Plus, it's technically accurate."
"So is 'basketball menace' but you don't see me—" Your mouth snaps shut as her teammates start cackling.
"Oh, I like this one," says a girl you recognize as KK Arnold, grinning like she just got early Christmas. "She's got bite."
"She's got analytics," Paige corrects, but she's looking at you with something that makes your stomach relocate to somewhere in the general vicinity of Jupiter. "Speaking of which, you never did tell me how you caught that play coming."
You take a long sip of your Dirty Shirley to buy time, immediately regretting it when the sugar content threatens to give you instant cavities. "Holy shit, what's in this? Pure pixie stick powder?"
"Don't deflect," Paige says, poking your side. "We've got a whole team of analysts and none of them caught it. So spill."
"Fine, but only because you bought me diabetes in a glass." You shift to face her, accidentally-on-purpose letting your knee rest against hers under the table. "It was your head."
Her eyebrows shoot up. "My head?"
"You've got this tell," you say, getting into it now because apparently basketball analysis is your ideal flirting language. "This tiny little head tilt you do when you're setting up something sneaky. Like a cat about to knock something off a table, but make it basketball."
The entire table goes quiet, then erupts in laughter.
"She's got you there, P," Ice wheezes. "You do look like a menacing cat sometimes!"
Paige is staring at you with a mix of indignation and something else that makes your chest feel too small for your heart. "I do not have a cat tell."
"You absolutely do," you say, emboldened by sugar and the way her eyes keep dropping to your lips. "It's actually kind of cu—"
"SHOTS!" someone yells, and suddenly there's a tray of something alarmingly blue being passed around.
"Oh god," you mutter, watching the liquid slosh ominously. "Is this what happens when a Smurf dies?"
Paige nearly chokes on her drink. "That's terrible!"
"Just like these shots are about to be?"
She leans in close—too close, definitely too close for your remaining brain cells to function—and whispers, "Good thing I like terrible jokes."
Your stomach shoots to your ass (and possibly into another dimension) as she pulls back with a wink that should be illegal in at least forty-eight states.
"I hate you," you inform her, grabbing one of the Smurf funeral shots because if you're going to have a gay crisis in a college bar, you might as well commit fully.
"No you don't," she says with absolute certainty, and the worst part is she's right.
You really, really don't.
The night dissolves into a blur of increasingly ridiculous drinks (who knew they made something called a "Husky Howl"?), basketball stories that get more elaborate with each round, and Paige's thigh pressed warm against yours under the table. You learn that she stress-bakes before big games, that she once tried to teach her dog to play basketball, and that when she really laughs—like, really laughs—she snorts a little and it's possibly the cutest thing you've ever seen.
At some point, Azzi starts drawing up plays on napkins with increasingly chaotic drink-fueled creativity. Aaliyah Edwards keeps stealing her pen to "fix" the defensive rotations, while Nika Mühl throws wadded-up straw wrappers at both of them, critiquing their "absolutely trash spacing."
"No, no, look," KK follows imaginary lines with her finger across the napkin, accidentally dragging it through a puddle of spilled Shirley Temple. "If we run this here, and then—" she grabs your arm— "you're the defense, okay? Stand up."
"I absolutely am not," you protest, but Paige is already pulling you up with that stupid grin that makes your knees forget how joints work.
"Come on, elevator girl," she teases, positioning you near the booth. "Show us those analytics skills in action."
"I hate all of you," you mutter, but you're laughing as KK tries to demonstrate some elaborate defensive scheme that mostly involves her spinning in circles while Aaliyah provides unhelpful commentary.
"Your footwork is trash, bestie," Aaliyah calls out, now using maraschino cherries to build what appears to be a scale model of the paint.
"YOUR footwork is trash," KK shoots back, then promptly trips over nothing.
"Ladies, ladies," Paige steps in, all faux seriousness undermined by the way she can't stop grinning. "Let a professional show you how it's done."
She moves behind you, hands settling lightly on your hips, and your brain immediately flatlines. "See, proper defensive stance is all about—"
"Get a fuckin' room!" Nika yells, launching another straw wrapper that hits Paige square in the forehead.
"Actually," Paige says close to your ear, and your stomach does approximately seventeen backflips, "I've got that new analytics setup at my apartment if you want to see it. You know, for research purposes."
You turn to face her, very aware that her hands haven't moved from your hips. "Research purposes?"
"Mhmm." That dangerous grin is back. "Purely academic, of course."
"Of course," you manage, trying to ignore the way your pulse is doing a full drumline routine.
"Oh my god," KK groans from the booth. "This is worse than when Aaliyah tried to flirt with that barista using coffee puns."
"Hey!" Aaliyah protests. "That was smooth!"
"You asked if she wanted to 'espresso' her feelings!"
"And now we're dating, so who's the real winner here?"
Paige rolls her eyes at their antics, but her thumbs are drawing small circles on your hips that are making it very hard to focus on anything else. "So? Want to help me with some late-night analysis?"
Your stomach shoots to your ass as you meet her eyes, finding them sparkling with something that definitely isn't just about basketball statistics. "I mean, it would be unprofessional to turn down a research opportunity..."
"GET OUT OF HERE," Azzi throws a cherry that sails completely wide of both of you. "Your gay panic is ruining my plays."
"Your plays were already ruined," Nika points out, helpfully redrawing the vodka-smudged X's and O's with what appears to be lip gloss.
Paige grabs her jacket with one hand and your hand with the other, tugging you toward the door. "Don't wait up, nerds!"
"USE PROTECTION!" Aubrey shouts after you, causing several nearby tables to choke on their drinks.
"I mean, analytics can be very dangerous," you say with mock seriousness as you step into the cool night air, very aware that Paige hasn't let go of your hand. "All those numbers flying around."
"Absolutely hazardous," she agrees, pulling you closer as you walk. "Better stick together. For safety."
"For safety," you repeat, hoping she can't feel your pulse racing where your fingers are intertwined. "And research."
"And research," she echoes, giving you that sidelong grin that makes your heart forget how to beat properly. "Though I should warn you..."
"Yeah?"
She stops under a streetlight, turning to face you with eyes that sparkle with mischief. "My elevator works perfectly fine."
Your laugh echoes off the empty street. "Damn. There goes my backup plan."
"I'm sure we can find other ways to get stuck together," she says, and your stomach relocates somewhere in the general vicinity of Mars.
As you follow her down the quiet streets of Storrs, your joined hands swinging between you, you make a mental note to buy Mike the biggest coffee gift card you can afford.
Broken elevators might just be your new favorite thing.
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Paige's apartment is exactly what you'd expect from someone who's somehow both a basketball prodigy and a complete dork—there's a literal trophy shelf right next to a collection of Star Wars Funko Pops, and her UConn jersey hangs framed above what appears to be a very elaborate gaming setup.
"Nice lightsaber," you say, nodding to the collector's edition propped in the corner.
"Nice deflection from how your hands are shaking," she shoots back, shrugging off her jacket.
"It's cold outside!"
"Uh huh." She disappears into the kitchen, and you hear cabinets opening. "Want some hot chocolate? I promise it's better than those nuclear waste shots Aubrey kept ordering."
Your stomach does a weird flip at how domestic this feels. "Only if you have—"
"Mini marshmallows and whipped cream? What kind of monster do you think I am?"
You follow her voice to find her already pulling out mugs, one of which has "Ball is Life" written in what appears to be glitter pen. "The kind that owns a bedazzled basketball mug?"
"First of all, Nika made this for my birthday and it's a masterpiece," she says, grabbing milk from the fridge. "Second of all, you're just jealous of my sophisticated taste."
"Oh, absolutely. Nothing says sophistication like..." you pick up a container from the counter, "unicorn hot chocolate mix?"
She snatches it back, fighting a grin. "It's limited edition!"
"Of course, my mistake. Clearly I'm in the presence of a fine dining connoisseur."
The kitchen fills with the smell of chocolate as she heats the milk, and you try not to stare at how she's rolled up her sleeves, forearms on full display as she stirs. You fail miserably.
"See something you like?" she asks without turning around, because apparently she has eyes in the back of her head.
"Just admiring your hot chocolate technique."
"My technique is excellent, thank you very much." She turns, holding up a can of whipped cream with a dangerous glint in her eye. "Want to see?"
Your throat goes dry. "I feel like this is a trap."
"Maybe." She takes a step closer, and your back hits the counter. "But you've been analyzing my moves all night. Shouldn't I get a turn?"
You're about to say something witty—really, you are—but then she's shaking the whipped cream can and all your brain cells collectively abandon ship.
"Don't you dare—" 
The words are barely out before she's spraying whipped cream directly at your face. You squeal (not your proudest moment) and grab for the can, resulting in a brief wrestling match that ends with cream basically everywhere except in the actual mugs.
"You're such a menace!" you gasp, trying to wipe cream off your nose while she cackles.
"Says the girl who called me out on my head tilt in front of my whole team!"
"That's different! That was professional analysis!"
"Oh yeah?" She steps closer, effectively pinning you against the counter. "Analyze this."
Your heart stops as she reaches up, thumb gently wiping whipped cream from the corner of your mouth. Time seems to freeze, your entire world narrowing to that point of contact and the way her eyes drop to your lips.
"Your technique could use some work," you manage to whisper, and she laughs—that real laugh, with the little snort that makes your chest feel too small for your heart.
"Maybe you should show me how it's done then."
Your stomach shoots through the floor as you reach up, threading your fingers through her hair (definitely getting whipped cream in it but whatever), and pull her down to meet you.
She tastes like chocolate and whipped cream and something uniquely her, and you can feel her smile against your lips as she wraps her arms around your waist, pulling you impossibly closer. 
"How's that for technique?" you murmur when you finally break apart, both breathing a bit harder.
"Hmm." She pretends to consider it, but her eyes are sparkling and her hands are still firmly on your waist. "Might need more data to make a proper analysis."
"Oh my god, you're actually worse than me with the nerd references."
"You like it," she says with absolute certainty, leaning in again.
"Maybe," you concede against her lips. "But only because you're cute when you're being smug."
She pulls back just enough to give you that dangerous grin that started this whole thing. "Just cute?"
"And modest, clearly."
"I'll show you modest," she growls, and then she's kissing you again, deeper this time, backing you further against the counter until you're pretty sure your soul leaves your body entirely.
The hot chocolate goes cold on the counter, 
The hot chocolate goes cold on the counter, forgotten in the haze of warm laughter and sticky fingers. At some point, her lips found their way back to yours, sweet and a little messy, and now you’re on her couch, knees bumping against hers as you both settle into an almost tentative rhythm. She pulls back just slightly, her forehead resting against yours, and her breath fans across your lips in short, uneven bursts.
“You’re trouble,” she whispers, her voice low and a little breathless, her hands sliding up your arms to rest on your shoulders, thumbs brushing the curve of your collarbone.
“You like trouble,” you fire back, and there’s just enough of a spark in your tone to make her grin.
“I really do,” she admits, and before you can respond, her lips are on yours again, slower this time, deliberate. It’s not the playful teasing from before—it’s something heavier, something that makes your heart stutter in your chest and your hands curl into the soft fabric of her sweatshirt.
Her fingers tangle in your hair as she shifts, nudging you gently until your back hits the cushions. She hovers above you, her knees bracketing your thighs, her ponytail spilling over one shoulder as she leans down to kiss you again. This time, it’s a little rougher, her teeth catching on your bottom lip just enough to make you gasp, and the sound seems to light something in her eyes.
“You’re killing me,” you murmur against her mouth, and she pulls back just enough to look at you, her grin sharper now.
“Good,” she says simply, and her hands are on the hem of your hoodie, tugging it up. “This okay?”
You nod, swallowing hard, and she doesn’t wait for a second invitation. The hoodie’s off in a flash, tossed somewhere behind the couch, and her eyes sweep over you like she’s committing every inch to memory. Her hands are warm as they skim over your sides, fingertips brushing against bare skin and leaving a trail of goosebumps in their wake.
“You’re gorgeous,” she says softly, like it’s the most obvious thing in the world, and the way she says it makes you believe her, even with your heart trying to beat its way out of your chest.
“You’re not so bad yourself,” you manage, trying to sound casual even as she leans back down, her lips finding the curve of your jaw and then lower, pressing slow, open-mouthed kisses to your neck. Your hands find her waist, and you can feel the strength of her beneath the soft cotton of her sweatshirt, her muscles flexing slightly as she shifts against you.
“Should we,” she starts, her voice trailing off as she pulls back just enough to meet your eyes. There’s a question there, unspoken but clear, and you answer it by pulling her back down, your lips crashing into hers with more urgency than before.
“Definitely,” you say between kisses, and that’s all the encouragement she needs.
Her sweatshirt joins your hoodie somewhere on the floor, and her hands are everywhere—your waist, your thighs, the curve of your hip. It’s all a blur of heat and soft laughter and the kind of clumsy, sweet desperation that only comes with two people trying to figure out how they fit together.
The couch is too small, the angles all wrong, and at some point, she pulls back just enough to breathe, “Bed?”
You nod, and then she’s pulling you to your feet, her hand sliding down to lace her fingers with yours as she leads you toward her room. There’s something about the way she looks back at you, her grin soft and a little nervous, that makes your heart ache in the best way.
The moment you’re through the door, she’s on you again, her hands sliding up your back as she kisses you like she’s trying to memorize every curve, every shiver. The bed is soft beneath you, and her weight is solid and warm as she follows you down, her knee nudging between yours as she leans over you.
“You’re really good at this whole ‘research’ thing,” you tease, and she laughs against your collarbone, the sound low and husky and so incredibly her.
“Don’t distract me,” she murmurs, and her hands are on you again, her touch firm and sure and just a little shaky in a way that makes your chest swell with affection.
And when she kisses you again, slow and deep, you think, for the first time all week, that maybe the universe actually got something right.
The mattress dips under her weight as Paige pulls back just enough to take you in, her hair falling loose from her ponytail, framing her face in a way that feels criminally unfair. There’s a glint in her eye now, something teasing but focused, like she’s about to run the most calculated play of her life.
“You look nervous,” she says, her lips curling into that sharp grin that’s been undoing you all night.
“I’m not nervous,” you lie, though your voice cracks on the last syllable like your body’s calling you out.
She chuckles, low and throaty, and leans down, her lips brushing the shell of your ear. “Good. Because I’m about to ruin you, and I don’t need you overthinking it.”
Before you can process what she said, she’s sliding down your body with deliberate slowness, her hands dragging over your sides, down your hips, and hooking around the waistband of your leggings. She raises an eyebrow, silently asking permission, and the second you nod, she pulls them down in one fluid motion, leaving you feeling bare and achingly vulnerable.
“Holy shit,” Paige mutters under her breath, her eyes locked on you like she’s just stumbled on a masterpiece at an art museum. Her hands settle on your thighs, thumbs tracing small circles that send shivers racing up your spine. “You’re so—” She stops, shakes her head, and looks up at you with that cocky grin. “Nah, I’m gonna show you instead of telling you.”
Her lips press to the inside of your knee, soft at first, but as she moves higher, her kisses grow hungrier, her teeth grazing your skin just enough to leave you squirming.
“Paige,” you breathe, your voice barely more than a whisper, but she just hums against your thigh like she’s savoring her favorite meal.
“Patience,” she murmurs, her breath hot against your skin as she shifts lower. “You’re not going anywhere, are you?”
Your response gets caught in your throat as her mouth finally finds you, and every coherent thought you’ve ever had promptly evaporates. Her tongue moves with the same precision she has on the court, all calculated angles and devastating accuracy, and it’s like she’s figured out exactly how to dismantle you.
“Fuck—Paige—” Your hips jerk involuntarily, but her hands hold you steady, her grip firm enough to keep you grounded while her mouth does the opposite.
She pulls back just enough to look up at you, her lips glistening, and there’s a wicked glint in her eye that makes your stomach drop in the best way. “Hang tight,” she says, reaching toward the nightstand.
“What are you—oh my God,” you gasp as she pulls out a vibrator, the sleek little device gleaming like it was made for moments like this.
Paige winks, all confidence and mischief, as she turns it on, the low hum filling the room. “You trust me, right?”
You nod, because at this point, you’d probably trust her to lead you into a cult if it meant feeling like this.
“Good.” She leans back down, her mouth finding you again just as the vibrator presses against you, and the combination is so overwhelming it almost knocks the breath out of you.
Your hands fly to her hair, tugging as the vibrations send shocks of pleasure racing through your body, and her tongue works in tandem, teasing and relentless. It’s too much and not enough all at once, and you can feel yourself unraveling, piece by piece, with every calculated movement.
“Paige, I—” Your words dissolve into a moan that would make your ancestors weep, your thighs trembling as she doubles down, her grip on you tightening.
“That’s it,” she murmurs against you, her voice low and full of something that sounds dangerously like pride. “Let go, baby. I’ve got you.”
And just like that, you do. The orgasm rips through you like a tidal wave, leaving you gasping and clutching at the sheets as your vision whites out. Somewhere in the back of your mind, you swear you hear yourself speaking in tongues.
Paige doesn’t stop until your legs are twitching, and even then, she presses one last kiss to your inner thigh before sitting back with the most self-satisfied grin you’ve ever seen.
“Did I just—” You pause, catching your breath, your voice hoarse. “Did I just have an exorcism?”
Paige laughs, wiping her mouth with the back of her hand. “If you did, I think I’m gonna need to start charging for holy services.”
“Fuck you,” you say weakly, though the way you’re still grinning probably ruins the effect.
She crawls back up to you, her body warm and solid as she settles next to you, her arm slinging over your waist. “Oh, you’re definitely going to want to do that next,” she teases, pressing a kiss to your temple.
And just like that, you’re laughing, still breathless and a little wrecked, but somehow more at ease than you’ve felt in ages. Paige grins down at you, smug but soft, and you think, maybe, that this is exactly where you’re supposed to be.
Sometimes the best love stories start with a malfunction.
Just don't tell Mike. He's smug enough already.
The End
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bylersboy · 6 months ago
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im so in love with you mike wheeler can you give me one singular chance please just one I promise ill let you info dump abt dnd and fantasy novels to me and ill proof read ur stories and ill write poetry about you and like we can be in love and listen to mazzy star and joy division together (hes not real)
It’s honestly crazy to me that people look at this guy and think “straight man”
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avrizl · 1 year ago
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authors note - i legit have not written in a YEAR🫡 please excuse this bs i need to feed you guys.
bf!mike holding you as you cry into his arms, stroking the back of your head lovingly, “shhh.. it’s okay.. i’m right here..” he never fails to make you feel safe with his touch.
bf!mike cupping your face ever so gently as he kisses you softly and lovingly, as he pulls away to look at you he rubs a reassuring thumb over your cheek.
bf!mike peppering your face with kisses as he walks into the door after a long night shift at the pizzeria as he wraps around you tightly swinging back and forth because he truly believes he will die without being around you for longer than 6 hours.
bf!mike smiling with a glimmer in his eyes as he sees the lights on the christmas tree you guys put up together, he hasn’t seen one in full like this since he was 13.
bf!mike buying you flowers at literally every chance he gets, there isn’t a room without flowers in a vase and all of the past bouquets he’s gotten you have been dried and the petals are in a vase.
bf!mike who will literally do ANYTHING. for you and i mean anything this man worships the ground you walk on and literally is obsessed with you.
bf!mike who believes you look beautiful no matter what you’re wearing, or how your hair is, or if you have makeup on or not. no matter the situation he is going on and on about how beautiful you are and how you get more and more beautiful each day
bf!mike who feels incredibly guilty because he can never cook you a nice dinner (he burns it almost every single time) “i’m so sorry.. i just wanted to make you something nice” with the biggest puppy eyes ever he says this and your heart melts. (when you’re gone he lives off of lunchables).
bf!mike who runs you a bath when you don’t feel good like he goes all out like epson salt and ALL. and candles too and he brings you snacks. “ ‘m sorry you don’t feel good baby.. i wish i could make it all go away”
bf!mike who smiles at you lovingly when you play with abby, or draw with her, carry her around, and tuck her in bed. he sees you as a motherly figure to her, and he can tell that abby trusts you and loves you a lot.
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