#MIGHT delete later i am embarrassed

[v-poreons]

I don't really like bitching publicly bc I don't feel like arguing with strangers on the internet but it is baffling to me how ppl can hate on Brozone relentlessly but then idolize Creek's character like on one hand you have characters who were clearly growing up with an unstable home environment (no parents) from a young age lashing out as teenagers vs a character who grew up in an extremely positive, supportive community acting like a dick and then selling out his entire species for his own benefit, as a fully grown adult like what are you people on I don't understand the dichotomy

Posting this draft and adding a sc of my insta story from mid July that tackles some of my feelings about creek bc as much as I hate him I DO think he's an interesting character I just don't think ppl are necessarily using him to his fullest potential

[tsuyonpuu]

I'm not so confident in sharing stuff about myself a lot but I've been putting together a little Luke Cosplay haha I really love wearing it and hope to bring it to future conventions 😭 one day I'll get the lightsaber replica of Luke's 🤲

[mysticalcats]

ok fellas this post is really different from my other stuff so i'm putting it under the cut for people who don't care and also because i'm slightly embarrassed

ok so. is it unusual for a girl to want to have a deep voice and a flat chest and a more square face and also feel slightly jealous of men and want to sound like them and look like them

and also is it unusual to want to be all that, but also simultaneously not be very bothered very much by how you look right now or by being referred to with she/her except for sometimes when you think about it too much. because i usually don't think about it except for sometimes where i suddenly just get really sad about being a girl or i'll always have this faint feeling that i am just unhappy about it

and also is it unusual to try to ignore it and go about your life being unbothered by it even though deep down it does kinda bother you but you can't really. like. say anything to anyone because your family won't react well and neither will your friends because they'll think it's weird and uncomfortable. i feel afraid to ever feel this way because i know the people in my life won't react well to it

so like. genuine question please lmk wtf is goin on because i'm unsure if it's normal and i've felt like this for a long time and it's confusing me and i don't even know what i'm going to do with the information once i know i'm just sort of lost LMAO

[suddencolds]

.~

[starflungwaddledee]

been working on answering a prompt i received in an ask the other day, and so i'm back thinking about... the Thing... 💖🎀 and thought maybe prompt doodles might help me work through this a little?

so uhhh.... if by any wild chance anyone has any ship suggestions for starstruck...??? feel free to send them through!

[lem-argentum]

i loove characters who are passionate about technology i looove characters who are passionate about technology i looovvveeeee,,

[bratdotcom]

Can someone tell me I'm doing a good job rn I'd really like that. thanks

[tigerr-cherry]

I need to share my 3am opinions about cotl rn bc I will literally explode and poison the air

[freedom-in-the-dark]

ok. exposing myself as someone who unfortunately cares about an unimportant tumblr fandom poll right now.

hello beloved black sails fandom and especially those who participated in The Pirate Poll War.

I’m SO sorry to pollute this sacred space with mention of this, but…

have you been Online enough in the past decade to be aware of fandom history as a general concept?

are you aware of the infamous marvel ship steve/bucky?

would you agree that steve/bucky has been more impactful in fandom history than The Other Gay Pirate Show which came out [checks notes] last year?

if so:

would you be willing to click a button.

[james-fun-in-the-sunderland]

ode to treading water and passing ideation .... (wip)

[tvrningout-a]

being a person is incredibly hard, but i’m really glad you keep choosing to be one. i know sometimes it might feel like you’re bad at it; you’re wrong. you’re perfectly good at it, and the struggling is just part of it. it doesn’t necessarily make us better or worse whether we take it in stride or stumble and fall. but i do think it helps us to understand ourselves, understand our loved ones, understand that being a person is hard but not something we have to do alone. we were never meant to do it alone, and i’m glad i don’t have to.

thank you for being a person with me 💜

[youareyoubutwhoareyou]

God sorry I need to ramble for a minute I am so frustrated

I am barely gripping onto recovery rn I am gonna fucking lose my mind. I have an appointment to get weighed etc in just over a week and I'm gonna feel like shit if I don't hit the weight they want in that time regardless of the fact that to do that would be incredibly unhealthy and unsustainable

Literally at least half the weight they want me to lose is what they're going to remove during surgery. if it's really that important how the fuck does that make sense

Truly how the fuck does any of this make sense. You want my body to be fucked up going into surgery? Really? You want deficiencies and even worse fatigue and fog and it literally eating itself? You want me stressed and depressed and obsessive about my body even before the post op depression? That's healthier?? That's going to give a smoother recovery with better results?

It might actually even fuck up my results because I'm almost certainly going to gain the weight back if not more

Study after study after study shows that fat =/= unhealthy, higher risk of complications, etc., that most weight loss methods don't fucking work long term unless you dedicate the rest of your life to it, that losing weight rapidly and going back and forth dieting and not is really fucking bad for you actually

And all this because of some stupid fucking number, some calculation that has been endlessly and rightfully criticised for how much bullshit and how unreliable it is. Somehow it's still held in high enough regard to disregard everything else and say thinner is always better. Always healthier. Always achievable.

I'm just so mad. I was doing well. And now I feel guilty for big portions again. For feeling full, or not feeling full. For cravings and meals out and enjoying food. I'm thinking back to tactics I used all the way back in fucking high school to avoid eating. Ten years ago. I hate this.

It really says a lot how, when I started physio to strengthen muscles so I'm in pain less, a major concern in the back of my mind was that the muscle gain would negate the weight lost. How I'm preparing myself to go to the weighing appointment without eating that day, and not drinking either if I can help it, just to get the number on the scale as low as possible

And the thing is I can't say a fucking word of this to any drs. Not only are they human and inevitably deeply influenced by diet culture etc, but with the current state of trans healthcare in this country I cannot trust them. I cannot say that my mental health is anything other than great for fear they'll shove me on a waiting list for some program for whatever it is and put my transition on hold

I've already waited so long. I'm so close. I would've been referred already and months into a wait list if not for this One thing. It is eating me alive and it will not stop until I get that goddamn referral and I am getting desperate

[pleaseget-out]

Got myself a little treat today :3

[that-random-person-again]

I am sorry I am tired but DJ Grooves.

[robyn-goodfellowe]

hey guys out of curiosity who is your favorite twtt character

[chryzuree]

actually brushing up on psych notes for this journal 💀💀💀