#Lucerna's personal plot : Sustaining a wish

[ffxivash]

The first wish

The door closed a tad heavier than he intended, causing Ash to turn and give it a look. Mismatched eyes looked at the steps that lead up to the loft, the liquor that resided up there was more than tempting. A hand went to his side where Lucerna’s ax had cut him open, the chain and leather he wore did nothing to stop the blow. Though the stitches and bandages were doing their part in helping him heal, nothing would be able to numb the words spoken by the Ascian.

Two steps up the stairs and his body just became too heavy to continue. The white tail, still stained red in some places, curled around him. The fluffy tuft still flicking back and forth on the end in silent agitation. Normally the alcohol would be the first thing he would have. The sting of it washing away the thoughts that ran through his head, numbing the mental, and physical pain.

Wrapping his arm around his side he just sat there mind racing, so many thought, too much to make sense of any of it. His life was never complicated, the Empire was pretty cut and dry with what they wanted, and how he was allowed to feel. Attacking Lucerna was, painful more than just fighting someone who was stronger and faster then he would ever be. He never had to attack someone he considered a friend before today.

She was going to be alright, the Ascian was ripped to a million pieces of aether. At least that is what Ash think he saw. It was hard to see with only his right eye able to see what was happening. Most of what the Ascian said was just stercore, desperate grasps at people’s fears. Though it was not all empty words, it did say something that struck its mark, one of Ash’s fears.

“Ash, so quick to renounce your allegiances to the Empire and join ranks with their enemy. Is that truly your motivation? Why are you here? You're just protecting your best investment so you can turn Lucerna over to your Imperial allies to climb their ladder. You're the kind of person who will just end up using her.”

Ash shook his head some, hoping to banish the only thing that remained of the Ascian from his mind. He could not deny he was indoctrinated by the Empire, that they had a strong influence over his day to day choices. The possibility of him using Lucerna was truly something he feared, using anyone the way he had been used, the way the Empire uses everyone.

Standing he went down and to the washroom, starting work to get the blood stain out of his white tail fluff. “Think positive..” He ordered himself as the water flowed with rust colors in to the drain. “She is going to be up and walking in a few days, we did win…”

One more layer of bandages around his abdomen, before he would change into a loose shirt and pants for sleeping. It was not the Imperial issued pants and shirt he was given, and the bed was actually soft, some nights too soft. Pulling the blankets up he was asleep, as soon as his head hit the fluffy pillow.

Visions, they sometimes gave warning, like a sudden migraine, needles were being pushed into his right eye. Sometimes they just struck him like a bullet to the brain, making him forget about any other pain he has ever had. This time the warning sent him reeling out of the lands of dreams, and off the side of the bed. His right hand up over his red eye, as soon as he was able to discern which way was up. The vision, while he was experiencing it, always made him feel almost light, the pain would drift away as if he was for the moment out of his own skin. Standing he looked around still having his right eye covered, he was in his room alone. Then his right hand moved away, and the world suddenly had the vision overlapping the reality around him.

There was a bed, it seemed to overlap not to far from his own, and on it was Lucerna. Though many of her features seemed different, her hair was nothing but fuzz at only an ilm long. There was bandages, but he had come to expect there will always be bandages. “So this is the past…” He mumbled to himself, it helped him remember the visions, details that would fade otherwise.

The vision though had more the Lucerna, something that had never happened before. Ash normally would only see shadows or distortions of people he never had meet. He stood and looked at them, taking in as many details as he could, knowing the vision could end at any moment. First was the Roegadyn, a massive man with sea green skin and black hair. Second was a Lalafell, with short sun kissed hair. Last was a Miqo’te seeker with sandy hair. "Pity she's struck dumb. We could use that ferocity she showed on our front line. Though I figure since we've at least got finder's rights, I can smack some paint and a wig on her and get some gil from a few of my contacts who like them stupid." The Seawolf’s words made Ash’s ears go back in to his hair and tail flick in anger.

The Lalafell’s words however at least lowered the dread he was feeling in his chest. "We don't know what she's been through. Give her some time before you throw her to the highest bidder.” The woman nudges the leg of the Miqo’te. ”M'yrr, you try her.”

The sandy Miqo’te seeker crossed the room with a scoff and waved his hand in front of Lucerna’s face. “Can you hear me?”

Lucerna nodded to the seeker, while Ash walked over. The dread in his gut was like a brick, he hoped he was not going to witness abuse. He never would get use to seeing people he knew die, the idea of seeing Lucerna abused made Ash uneasy. "Huh. That's progress. You gonna come with us?" Her features hardened as Lucerna tensed, "I-I can't. I'm rotten. I killed so many. I can't be redeemed. I need to- I need to die. That's the only way I can stop hurting people." “So this is right after you got away from the Empire…” Again Ash spoke to himself as he normally would do during a vision.

"She's no use to us dead! Try harder!" The seawolf growls at his companion.

M’yrr clears his throat as he once again speaks. "Even if you think you should die, there's got to be something you want to live for. Do you have a wish?"

The newly liberated Lucerna started to shake her head, but then nodded. "One thing. But I can't make it happen."

"Sure ya can! You can do it with us, what's your wish?"

"With the- with the Imperials.. I let them into my head and then I did horrible things with them. I want to- I want to make sure that doesn't happen with anyone else. I want to save people if there are more trapped." There was a smile on her face as she spoke, and a feeling Ash was very familiar with.

The Seawolf claps his hands. "Then trust us! We're heroes, we'll guide you to make your wish come true. Just stay with us, and don't die. You'll live with us and we'll help you." He turned to the lalafell, speaking softly. "Habibi, get an adventuring contract drawn up. Grade E terms, I'll make sure she signs it after she gets a painkiller dose." Ash’s gaze was on the manipulative Roegadyn in a instant, a growl in his chest. “You are a savage, you would be lucky if we never meet.”

The Seekers words spoke next with a wolfish tone, "Good. I know we'll help you grant lots of wishes. You just focus on getting better, and don't let yourself die or leave us until that wish is granted." Ash could feel his fists ball up, helpless to do anything. “It is the past, nothing to d…” He started to reminded himself just as the pain of the vision ending struck him, and he fell to his knees. His right hand going over his red eye trying to stop the pain he was feeling with no avail. His head feeling like it was splitting in two, and his stomach turning threatening to evict whatever it had on hand. This was a secret he held for years from the Empire, he would not cry out just suffer as he always had quietly.

Crawling to the shelf by the bed he pulled the eye patch off it and slipped it on over his right eye. Even in the dark of his room it was to bright and too painful, without it. Then he just laid on the floor where he was, trying to hold on to what he could remember from the vision. The cold metal of the eye patch brought some relief, but not enough to consider standing any time soon.

“Sorry Lady Lucerna…” He spoke quietly to the empty room. The guilt of intruding on Lucerna’s past, and a history she may never wanted to speak on. It was not really like he had a choice, but the guilt found him anyway.