#Lozi Speaking People

[strixcattus]

Conlang Year Days 121–125

(of word-formation and the tragic consequences thereof)

Been a little distracted and a little slow on the Conlang Year prompts, but I've got the making of some word-formation strategies and a few new words to show for them.

Compounds

Compounds are head-initial, like the rest of Conlang tends to be. Currently the only compounds I'm considering are Verb-Noun and Noun-Noun, but I'm unsure if I'm dedicated to the idea of not having either of Noun-Verb and Verb-Verb compounds.

A few of the compounds I've been experimenting with (currently they're being compounded before any sound changes take effect, though that only matters for the first—don't know if I'll keep that or change it):

Keniozi (keni+lozi, path+pack animal): Migration path Tinomeki (tino+meki, pathogen+nose): Common cold Mijujuo (miju+juo, sleep+sun): Nap

(Which I suppose means I need to reformulate my word for "monarch," since it's a head-final compound of "world" and "person" that got fused a little more than most. So instead of zeniza, it'd be... sizaine? Doesn't roll off the tongue nearly as much. I wonder if I can rationalize the odd ordering away...)

Derivations

I don't have any illusions that I've got a full battery of derivations at this time, but I've been spinning up some ideas:

A new verb lanu (I'm planning to work out an irregular conjugation table for it, but haven't done so yet) which translates to "do" and is kind of a companion to nai—where nai is used to describe basically any passive state of being, lanu is used for any actions that are heavily associated with nouns. For instance—

...do I not have an example for this?

...do I not have any existing nouns that would make sense as an example for this?

...

...oh, here's one. I suppose.

For instance: Lanu... ne ki dai (no lijaiza). Lit. "do tongue (with someone)." As in. Make out (with someone). Not sure if that would be slang or a more formal term. It's not as though I expected that to be a formally-defined construction in any conlang of mine.

On to... other topics, I decided to take the system I used for indefinite pronouns—separate suffixes for people and things—and turn them into a pair of Verb->Noun derivational suffixes:

-iza: Turns a verb into a noun meaning "person who does that verb" -uli/-oli: Turns a verb into a noun meaning "object used in the performance of that verb"

Some examples (not all of which will necessarily make it into the dictionary, but I wanted to test the suffixes with as many different verbs as I could):

Gako: Speak Gakoiza: Speaker Gakouli: Microphone

Paliso: Copy Palisoiza: Copy-artist (which could mean anything from someone who hand-copies manuscripts to an art forger) Palisouli: Copy machine/photocopier

Mida: Lie (tell a falsehood) Midaiza: Liar Midaoli: Lie (falsehood)

Zasi: Repair Zasiza: Repairman Zasioli: Tool (debatable if it'll make it into the dictionary)

Nasu: Write Nasuiza: Writer Nasuli: Stationery (debatable if it'll make it into the dictionary)

(The latter suffix is only rendered as -oli if -uli can't attach seamlessly onto the verb, as in midaoli and zasioli (there are no au or iu diphthongs). -iza would never have that problem, since all vowels that aren't already i can begin a diphthong ending in i. In the case that a verb ends in a diphthong already (couldn't find any good examples), the suffix would replace the second vowel sound of the diphthong.)

(For a verb ending in e (no eu or eo diphthong)... I'm not sure how -uli would work. Problem for future me.)

[sunzambian]

EMULATE LITUNGA, CHITIMUKULU, MAJ KACHINGWE URGES POLITICIANS

y NATION REPORTER ZAMBIA’s political leadership should humble itself and begin to cultivate the spirit of preaching peace and uniting the country, which are being championed by the Litunga, the King of the Lozi people and His Royal Highness Paramount Chief Chitimukulu of the Bemba-speaking people, Richard Kachingwe has said. Major Kachingwe says the Litunga and Paramount Chief Chitimukulu have…

[alorecipesco]

Halva Zanjabil – Persian Ginger Halwa

Halva zanjabil is a traditional Persian halva originating from Tabriz. As you know, Tabriz has various sweets, and this halva is one of them. Ginger halva is known in Azeri-speaking cities as a sweet that is consumed with tea. This halva should be soft and tender so that it melts when you put it in your mouth. With the amount of ingredients included in this baking recipe, you can prepare ginger halva for 4 people. If you want to make more or less ginger halwa, just multiply or divide the amount of ingredients.

ingredients

1 cup of wheat flour is equivalent to 125 grams

1 cup of powdered sugar is equivalent to 100 grams

1/3 cup of chopped walnuts or almonds is equivalent to 50 grams

Butter and solid oil total 70 grams

Cardamom powder 1 teaspoon

1 tablespoon of ginger powder

How to prepare ginger halva without rice flour

First step: roasting the flour

To prepare Tabrizi ginger halwa, we first sift the wheat flour twice, then put it in a suitable pot and put it on a low heat and fry it a little until the raw smell of the flour disappears, but it should not change color, it should be cooked on a low heat for about 30 Fry the flour for a minute and after smelling the rawness, sift the flour and return it to the pot.

Second step: adding butter and solid oil

To achieve the good quality of ginger halva, a mixture of butter and solid oil should be used so that it has a soft texture, so we pour the mixture of butter and solid oil in a pan until it melts, and then we add fried flour to it and fry it. We give it until it becomes a golden color and the oil is absorbed by the flour.

Third step: adding powdered sugar and nuts

Remove the pot from the heat until it cools down, then add the ginger and cardamom powder to it and stir it a little until the ingredients are crushed. Add and stir until the powdered sugar is incorporated into the halva. This halva is in powder form.

Fourth step: Preparation of ginger halva

Choose a rectangular container and spread oil paper on the bottom of it and pour flour into the mold and press the halva with the bottom of a spoon until it is smooth and then pour walnut powder on the halva and let it harden. Leave it in the freezer for 30 minutes, then let it cool completely, and then cut it with a cutter or a knife in any shape you want, for example, a lozi lozi is a beautiful model, and slowly remove the parchment paper from the mold, because this model of halva has a crispy and fragile texture. It has We arrange the halwa in a dish. You can also use silicone molds to prepare this halwa to make it more beautiful. Pour the halwa into the mold and mix well with a spoon, then take it out of the mold for 1 hour in the oven. Put in friers, then slowly remove from the mold. Drink

Tips and tricks for making ginger halva recipe

You can taste the ingredients after adding powdered sugar and increase the amount of powdered sugar according to your taste.

The temperature of the halva must be lukewarm when you add the sugar powder, otherwise the sugar powder will melt and you will feel it under your teeth later.

With this amount, you will have about 24 to 30 pieces of ginger halvah.

This halva can be stored in a closed container in the refrigerator for 1 week.

You can use different brains to prepare this halva.

The amount of ginger to be added depends on your taste, you can add up to 2 tbsp.

Do not use liquid oil.

The color of this halwa is light and it should not be too dark, so be aware of the flour while frying and do not leave it alone.

[yohane23]

LITUNGA LEWANIKA II, KING OF BAROTSELAND FROM 1968 TO 1977

[gwendolynlerman]

Separatist and irredentist movements in the world

Barotse

Proposed state: Kingdom of Barotseland

Region: Western Province, Zambia; parts of Angola, Botswana, and Zimbabwe

Ethnic group: Lozi/Barotse

Goal: independence

Date: 2012-present

Political parties: Barotse Freedom Movement (BFM), Linyungandambo, Movement for the Restoration of Barotseland

Militant organizations: Barotse National Freedom Alliance (BNFA)

Current status: de iure independence

History

1890 - the Kingdom of Barotseland signs the first trade concession with the British South Africa Company

1899 - the United Kingdom declares a protectorate over Barotseland

1964 - Barotseland Agreement

1991 - the Barotseland Agreement is declared to be abrogated

2012 - declaration of independence

The Kingdom of Barotseland is thought to have been founded by Queen Mbuywamwambwa over 500 years ago. It was then conquered by the Kololo people from Lesotho.

After diamonds were discovered in the territory, the Barotse started trading with Europe and then signed a trade agreement with a British company. In 1899, the United Kingdom proclaimed a protectorate over Barotseland.

The Barotseland Agreement 1964 established the position of Barotseland within the newly independent Zambia and granted significant autonomy to the former kingdom. However, that same year, the Zambian government introduced legislation that abrogated most of the powers given to Barotseland by the agreement.

For that reason, the Lozi people have repeatedly expressed their wish to secede, arguing that the central government starves Barotseland of development.

In 1991, the matter was taken to the Zambian High Court, which declared that the Barotseland Agreement had been violated by the Zambian government and was therefore null and void. This means that the status of Barotseland had been reverted to that before the independence of Zambia, i.e., a protectorate under the United Kingdom. Nevertheless, the latter does not want to get involved and the matter remains unresolved.

Lozi people

The Lozi people or Barotse consists of more than 46 ethnic groups that inhabit Angola, Botswana, Mozambique, Namibia, Zambia, and Zimbabwe. They speak Lozi, a Bantu language of the Atlantic-Congo family.

There are around 3.6 million Lozi. Their society is highly stratified, with a monarch at the top, but they are not separated into clans.

Vocabulary

Barotse - people of the plain

Litunga - keeper of the earth; king

Murotse - person

Naha ya Zambia - Republic of Zambia

Silozi - Lozi language

[zambianobserver]

Chitimukulu Has Told Kambwili & Group To Stop Tribalism Because Zambia Is One

ANTI-TONGA-LOZI NORTHWEST TRIBALISM is NONSENSE, says CHITIMUKULU, advising the KASAMA CHINSALI BEMBA PF TRIBALISTS with their EASTERN SURROGATES, as they continue to drive their PF KASAMA CHINSALI BEMBA HEGEMONY AGENDA, Zambian Fox Reports: CHITIMUKULU HAS TOLD KAMBWILI & GROUP TO STOP TRIBALISM BECAUSE ZAMBIA IS ONE. The Paramount Chief of the BEMBA speaking people is currently admonishing…

[sealnarcisa]

Kyle’s first week in Africa

SEAL graduate student Kyle Woodward’s first week in Southern Africa

Ive learned so much in the short time since arriving in Livingstone, Zambia, both as a grad student researcher and as a person. Today is the first full day without the rest of the biophysical team, and it's definitely different without them. Narcisa, Forrest, and Andrea really took me under their wing while they were here and made me feel like a valuable member of the research team. Ive gained three great mentors. I was also happy to have met Nick - the Louisville grad student - and hope to keep in contact with him as we both progress in our programs. He's doing some cool things on the remote sensing side of this project.

We've done a lot during the 8 -9 days I was with the biophysical team. The first 3 days were spent collecting drone imagery and reference sample data in the Chobe Enclave area of Botswana. In order to get there, we had to drive through the Chobe National Park and I saw my first giraffe and a few impala just off the road! The Chobe Enclave holds a collection of communities that sit between the Chobe river on one side and the Chobe National Park and various Forest Reserves on the other. I was blown away by the beautiful landscapes we saw here: the Chobe River, with its bright green river grasses and shimmering water, were a perfect backdrop for the Baobab and Acacia trees which stand out so iconically on the landscape. It wasn't hard to take an amazing picture in any direction.

Data collection here was fun and I learned a lot very quickly. We made two teams out of the 5 of us, each team having their own drone equipment for flying imagery and a Trimble GPS receiver for reference samples. At random and opportunistic locations within this area, each team walked a predetermined distance from the road on either side and flew their drone imagery. Simultaneously, we used the Trimble to collect our location and fill out a land use/land cover and vegetation assessment form which was imported to it. We did this for about 3 days and I tried to absorb as much as I could regarding drone protocol and identifying land cover types and plant species. I went into this having never held a drone before, and by the last day I had successfully learned how to rig the drone with its equipment, launch it, monitor the flight, and land it. Narcisa and I only had a few mini heart attacks each in the process.

We stopped over in Namibia for a day and night in order to break up the journey from Botswana to Zambia, and we decided to camp at a campground in Katima. Katima is the largest city I have seen thus far, it's got a nice shopping center, multiple gas stations, hotels, campgrounds, and even a good restaurant. Crossing international borders and going thru immigration is an interesting procedure, but I've already become more accustomed to it just after a week because of our frequent traveling. Comically enough, I saw my first elephant of the trip right next to the Namibia border fence, not in a national park or reserve.

Zambia looked and felt different almost immediately. Compared to the Chobe Enclave of Botswana, this region in Zambia had way more people and much less wildlife. 5 white people in a big white truck was much more of a spectacle to these people than where we had been in Botswana, because tourism is not as developed here. Most times we stopped to do anything near the road there were at least a few kids watching us, probably wondering what the heck we were doing. Most spoke English enough to say hello, but sometimes you wouldn't get much further than that. I understand that this area speaks Lozi primarily.

The following 2-3 days we focused on collecting more vegetation reference samples and figuring out how feasible it is traveling to the 2 more remote villages the team will be working in. It turns out they are pretty remote and the narrow sandy roads take quite a while to travel (family members think of 4 wheeling in the moors on Nantucket but deeper sand). We collected as many reference samples as we could over the next few days, but due to this being a new fieldwork area we lost some time to logistics. The whole team was excited about the various land use and land cover types we sampled. Narcisa and I even stumbled across an active fire that was burning off the understory for slash and burn agriculture. I began learning how to identify various plants at the genus level, got better at assessing the types of land cover we encountered, and how to identify evidence of different types of land use.

One of the coolest things so far in Zambia was the community meeting we attended in the village of Kapau. Lawrence, who serves as the personal secretary to the Chief in this region, acted as liaison and translator for us as we formally introduced our research project and asked permission of the community to conduct our fieldwork and interviews in the coming weeks. It was really neat to observe how the hierarchy of the community was demonstrated in the village members' discourse, even in the most minor social transaction. Lawrence was given everyone's undivided attention throughout his entire speech. I didn't understand one word Lawrence said for at least 30-45 minutes, but tried to determine through the audience's body language if the community was receiving it well. They did, and the Induna (elder male, head of the village) accepted our request and thanked us for visiting and for the introduction. It was a very positive experience with respect and gratitude on both sides.

We decided to visit the Ngonye falls near our campground and ran into Henry from the Department of National Parks and Wildlife (DNPW). I got to chat with him for a bit and learned about some of their GPS collared elephants and other wildlife they are re-introducing to the Sioma Ngwezi National Park. The falls were obviously beautiful. We met Michael - the CU Boulder PhD student - in Sesheke, Zambia the next day, then the next two days consisted of more reference samples, errands and watching soccer. The night before the biophys team flew out from Kasane, we all went out on the Chobe River for a boat safari and it was so cool! We saw elephants, impala, sable, baboons, hippos, crocodiles, mongoose, water buffalo, and tons of birds. Hippos are actualy pretty scary it turns out.

Michael and I dropped the biophysical team off at the Kasane airport yesterday and now it's just us 2 for a while. We will be on our way back to the Chobe Enclave tomorrow to begin mapping known resource areas for people living in those communities.

[harassing-minors-is-illegal]

gjidaso

this was technically supposed to be for christmas but i didn’t get it done until now sorry!!! i hope u like it @majorasfate​ and @doodleladle​

Three figures dressed in heroic tunics stand before a bridge made of rainbow, gripping their swords tightly.

“This is it,” one says. “It’s about to end.”

The second one nods. “We’ll finally save Princess Sanders. How long has it been since we last saw him?”

“Seven long years…” The last one remembers, nodding her head.

Navy turns and smirks at the two others. “You all owe me five rupees, by the way.”

“Why!?” The other two shout, frowning.

“I called that Clinton was the Princess in disguise! I told you all and you didn’t believe me!”

Dong- Rachel shrugs. “Fair enough,” while Lozy draws back.

“How the fuck were we supposed to figure that shit out? And also? Do I?? Look like?? I have that much money?? I am the brok-est ass motherfucker-,”

“Child, do not swear-,”

“Shut the Fuck up, Dong Mom-,”

Navy clears her throat. “You all owe me money anyways, so we should probably start saving him, right?”

The three of them cross the bridge, completely ignoring the large and heroic show that the Six Sages give them, making obscene and ridiculous jokes instead. They head inside the castle where they are met with six pathways.

“Why’s it always six?” Rachel asks, scratching her head. “Like, why not some other number? Like, three or seven or-,”

“Well?? Duh?? Six times two equals- Shit.”

“Twelve?? Lozy?? Twelve?? Where does twelve fit into this picture?? Child, just because you’re small and young doesn’t mean I can excuse this kind of intellectual ability.” Rachel interrupts, pulling a stupid ass face as she makes more jokes about how fucking tall I am.

“Children, calm. You’re all short.” Navy says, brushing her hair back and striking a pose. “Crush on me. I’m the tallest one here.”

“No?? Obviously, I’m the correct candidate to crush on because of my skills in the art of Drawing-,”

“Drawing’s not gonna save you in a fucking dungeon, bitch-,”

“OooOoOoh, says the writer, what, the pen mightier than the sword when you’re fighting octoroks?”

“Fuck Off?”

“Well, you know what does save you in a dungeon?” Navy smirks, again, because she’s just like that, “coming up with ideas. And y’all know what I’m good at.”

“Again?? Fuck Off?”

They head into the first room of the Forest Barrier and immediately light up in screams.

“What the Fuck-,”

“It’s just a Wolfos, Lozy, calm down-,”

“How fucking dare you, you ruined my tunic-,”

“Like it wasn’t already ruined in the first place?”

Navy kills it and laughs at the other two. “This is why I just got that over with in the first place? Just get your tunic ripped up in the first battle, man, that way you don’t have to worry about it later.”

“You’re wearing chain mail.”

“Well, gosh darn, looks like I got the lucky pile of the draw, huh?”

“Lucky draw of the pile.”

“Fuck.”

“Dumbass.”

“WHAT THE FUCK, SARIA-,”

“CHILL OUT, RACHEL, SHE’S FUCKING- FUCKING FLOATING AT A 45 DEGREE ANGLE, THAT’S PROBABLY NORMAL FOR SAGES-,”

Saria finishes her speech and watches as her childhood friends run off screaming, hoping that they can stay sane until they fight their final enemy.

The Fire Barrier’s rooms turn out to be a complete bust. They jump over and collect a few key rupees before realizing there is a massive obelisk standing in their way.

Navy tries to lift it up with her silver gauntlets, and truth be told, they probably could have lifted it out of the way if the other two had stopped laughing maniacally at her and helped out. But they didn’t. Rachel found a bag of Doritos on the floor and started eating them.

They leave the rooms to try the Water Barrier instead.

Two out of three of them are sobbing on the cold, snowy floor as Rachel angrily tries to figure out the ice block puzzle.

“I’ve?? Been dedicating all 21 years of my life to swords?? And being hot?? Who the fuck prepared me for ice block puzzles-,” Navy cries, shoving her hat into her face and openly bawling into it. “Nothing in life has prepared me for this. I’m not ready. I can’t believe this.”

Lozy is crying too, but she’s much less articulate. Her choice of wording is much too vulgar at this point. The word fuck is repeated multiple times.

Rachel pushes a final block. “I think I- fuck. I didn’t. Never mind.”

The two had gotten up for a split second, hope gleaming in their eyes, before they fell back down again, souls crushed.

“Why can’t we just pick them up.”

Ruto hangs on the ceiling and gives her speech as they continue talking about how stupid ice block puzzles are.

They’d eventually decided to leave a couple iron boots on each of the buttons after wasting all of their magic power to melt the ice blocks down with Din’s Fire.

Ruto lets a single tear slip down her face as she laments the fact that she crushed on Navy. It seems to be a recurring theme.

They’re in the rooms guarding the Shadow Barrier, and Lozy jumps over the little invisible islands as the other two hang back.

“I think I found something!” She calls, reaching into a treasure chest.

“Can you reach the bottom?” Rachel yells back.

“Fuck off!”

“What’d you find?” Navy shouts.

Maniacal laughter is heard in the background.

“FUCK YEAH! FINDERS KEEPERS, BITCH!”

Rachel turns to Navy. “What’d she find. Navy. What’d Lozy find.”

“I don’t know.”

There’s something golden and gleaming on Lozy’s fists as she reaches into the chest and chucks two other pairs of shining objects into the abyss.

“WhAT THE FUCK, LOZY-,”

Lozy jumps back over the little islands to the others, humming little songs.

“What the hell did you throw away!? We could’ve used those!”

Lozy smirks. “I know.”

“What the fuck?? What did you-, Oh.” The look on Rachel’s face pales and she looks at the Golden Gauntlets on Lozy’s hand.

“Mm… I dunno.” She runs off cackling to the barrier.

Impa seems to have given up already, because she didn’t even show up when the shot a Light Arrow at the barrier. It’s fine with them, though. They’d been arguing about who got to throw away the Dorito bag since they were almost finished with the chips.

They decided to head back into the Fire Barrier section since they had the Golden Gauntlets. Rachel threw the Dorito bag into the lava and watched it burn as Lozy chucked the pillar straight out of Trump's fortress, blasting a hole through the wall.

Navy grabbed the one or two remaining Rupee keys and let the other two head into the next room as she subtly slipped all the keys into her pocket. They looked just like silver rupees and made some pretty good counterfeits.

Darunia just sat and cried as he watched the people he considered sisters make their way out of the Fire Barrier’s rooms, screaming at each other and making way too much noise for it to be considered a serious event. 

The Spirit Barrier’s rooms ended up with them screaming a lot. None of them really liked the light puzzles because they were pretty boring, and they only had one Mirror Shield that Rachel kept. While she finished the puzzles, Lozy and Navy sat and played Uno. Invisible Keese were attacking Rachel but they didn’t notice. Lozy was winning and Navy couldn’t have that. Rolling boulders were chasing after Rachel and she was screaming but they didn’t notice. Now Navy was winning.

Nabooru looked somewhat proud as the three of them came into the room, one of them (Rachel) significantly more beaten up than the others. Rachel had joined in the card game by then. She broke the barrier after shooting off her little spiel that none of the heroes listened to, leaving the three of them to suffer and play Uno.

The Light Barrier was a complete joke and they barely gave a shit about it. They shot a Light Arrow at the Barrier and left before Rauru could even speak a word. A single tear slipped down his face.

“Y’know,” Navy pants as they force their way up another spiraling staircase, “I never thought that stairs would be my biggest threat.”

“How does Trump climb up these every day?” Rachel agrees.

“He probably doesn’t? That’s how?” Lozy’s voice is farther back; she tripped on the stairs earlier and the two went on without her.

“How does he get to his throne room, then?”

“He just… stays up there all day.”

“Isn’t that, like… really unhealthy? To sit in a throne all day?”

“Probably.”

Organ music has been playing loudly in the background for the last hour they’ve been climbing the stairs. Rachel wonders if that one singular piece is all the musician can play.

Reaching the top takes so long that they run out of complaints to groan about. They clear a few more levels of lizalfos and fire-y death traps before reach the door to Trump’s lair.

“We’re finally here.” Navy says. “We’ve traveled a long way-,”

“Shut the fuck up.” Rachel kicks in the door and walks in. Lozy follows.

“A… Alright. Got it.”

“PRINCESS SANDERS!?” Lozy shouts as she spots the old man in the Democratic blue crystal that Trump stuck him in. “ARE YOU OKAY!?”

He replies but the crystal muffles what he’s saying so no one seems to understand.

“What!?” Navy yells. “What’d you say!? You gotta talk louder!”

Princess Sanders shouts something back but they still can’t hear him.

“C’mon, Princess Sanders, you gotta speak up!”

“…college debt-,”

Lozy nods. “Yeah, he’s fine.”

They focus back to the task on hand but are distracted yet again. By their hands, ironically. There’re symbols on their hands in the shape of a triangle.

“Yo, haha, what the fuck?” Navy asks, staring at her hand. “I don’t remember this being here?”

“Same, though, what the-,”

“Dude, my parents are gonna kill me if they see that I have a tattoo-,”

There’s a click sound and Trump turns around, his cape whapping him in the face as he spins. “Will you three shut the fuck up?”

Rachel squints but then gasps. “You’ve been exposed, Trump-,”

Trump kicks a CD player into the shadows. “Was not.”

Rachel clenches her fists and whispers. “He’s been lying all along. He can’t even play the organ.”

Trump clears his throat. “The Triforce parts are-,”

“You serious?”

“Resonating. They are combining-,”

“Hey, guys, c’mon, music instruments are hard and he probably wanted to look cool. Cut him some slack.”

“…Into one agai-,”

“But like? If you’re gonna play dramatic music at least play it yourself-,”

Trump takes a deep breath. “Can you please let me finish my speech.”

“oh yeah lol ok”

Trump clears his throat again and restarts. “The Triforce parts are resonating… they are combining into one again…” He pauses theatrically.

“Th-,”

“Is that it? Is that your speech? I’m bored.” Navy groans, sitting down on the floor and picking at the fuzz on the carpet.

“No, it’s not it.”

The other two groan and join Navy on the red carpet, lying down. “Tell us when you’re done.”

Trump bites his lip. He looks on the edge of tears and his hair is drooping sadly. He finishes his speech quickly and with a slight wet sound in his voice. “The two Triforce parts that I could not capture on that day seven years ago, yadda yadda yadda, let’s fight.”

Two of them get up immediately, bouncing excitedly.

Trump thrusts his arms up dramatically and they’re expecting him to start flying but he boards a Segway instead and starts zipping around the room.

Lozy and Rachel unsheathe their swords and prepare for battle.

Trump lifts an arm up, preparing a bright yellow ball of magic on it, all while screaming.

“Be careful everybody!” Rachel shouts, holding up the Mirror Shield, “We don’t know what that thing does!”

“Wh-,” Navy jolts up from the nap she was taking on the floor and realizes that they are in the midst of battle. “WHY DIDN’T ANY OF YOU TELL ME-,”

Trump launches the magic straight at Navy and she panics, reaching into her pack and pulling out the first thing she can grab.

It smacks into the energy ball and ricochets back to Trump, hitting him hard in the face. He falls off his Segway and rolls around on the floor groaning as his Segway rolls away from him.  He is crying.

Navy gets up off the ground and unsheathes her sword to join the other two heroes.

“That was cool, Navy.” Lozy says. “How’d you do that?”

“Yeah, even I have to admit that you were kinda cool just there, Navy. Good job.”

Navy laughs and hides the bottle of milk back into her pack.

Trump is still crying on the floor so they take ample time to stroll over to him.

“Man, that was easier than I thought!” Navy says. “Look, he kinda looks like that tangerine you squashed once.”

“Oh, you mean when Rachel was riding Epona for the first time? You’re right! He does!”

The three laugh and Trump cries a little more.

They keep roasting Trump to oblivion and end up beating him the Fuck Up before Trump unsteadily rises. “The Great Magnificent Superb Amazing Huge Wonderful-,”

“Get to the point you fuckin’ roasted corn lookin’ ass shit. Tanning salon isn’t a good look for you.”

“…Donald Trump? Beaten by these kids!?”

Navy shrugs. “It’s more likely than you think. But if you switch to Geico insurance, you can-,”

He spits out green blood, all three of them recoil, and stares them straight in the eye with an oddly reptilian look. He screams and throws his arms up, turning into a light show. The building starts quaking and the three are knocked to their feet with the violent movements. The stained-glass windows they’re surrounded by burst into shards.

The next thing they know, they are standing on the top of the castle with Trump in front of them. He collapses to the ground, dead.

Princess Sanders gently floats down in his Democratic blue crystal before landing in front of the trio. The crystal fades from around him and he turns to look disdainfully at Trump.

“Pitiful man.” He spits. He turns to Trump and kicks him in the dick several times.

The building starts shaking again, the three are ready for it this time while the Princess is not, his feet are knocked under him and he falls onto the hard tile floor.

“Princess!” They shout in various degrees of concern. Lozy looks like she’s trying hard not to laugh.

“Listen to me,” he says in his croaking Brooklyn accent, “With his last breath, Trump is trying to crush us in the ruins of Trump Tower-,”

“Is that what he calls it?”

“Ew, gross-,”

“Bad name-,”

“We need to hurry and escape!” Bernie yells.

The three nod and turn to follow Bernie but he is still on the floor. He is not moving.

“Is he d- Wait, what’s that in the distance!?” Rachel shouts, pointing at a hazy cloud in the distance.

“I don’t-,”

Overwhelming chirping slams into their ears as the huge swarm of sparrows approaches. They pick up Bernie in their small talons and pick him up.

“Follow me!” He yells.

There are traps set for them in the castle on their way down, but apparently they weren’t expecting the hulking form of the Princess being carried by a cloud of tiny birds tweeting angrily. They didn’t pose much of a threat.

They escape in the nick of time, just before the Tower crashes down on all of them.

The four of them stand in the rubble of Trump Tower, grinning at each other.

“It’s over.” Bernie says, waving at the sparrows as they fly away. “It’s finally over…”

“Well, y’know,” Lozy interjects, “You never know when there’ll like, be a plot twist? Like, I dunno but this seems like a nice ass time for a plot twist-,”

“Oh shut up, Lozy, you’re jinxing it-,” Rachel shouts.

Something explodes in the rubble.

Navy steps in front of Princess Sanders, shielding him from the threat.

“I told you!! I fucking told you-,”

“If you hadn’t said anything, nothing would have happened-,”

They approach carefully, drawing their swords and creeping towards the sound. Rachel somersaults her way to the larger pieces of rubble.  

Trump bursts out of the wreckage violently, shining with light yet again. Flames burst out around them, preventing the trio from escaping.

The large orange man gradually transforms into a hulking, disgusting, misogynistic, albeist, racist, just overall horrible pig- oh wait, he already was-, into a larger version of himself before roaring at them. He throws out an arm and knocks the Master Sword out of Navy’s hand. It goes flying past the ring of flames and by Princess Sanders.

He roars again.

Rachel unsheathes her Biggoron sword as Navy curses while looking for a backup weapon.

“What’re we gonna do!?” Navy yells, pulling out the Fairy Bow. We need the Master Sword to kill Trump-,”

“You guys, uh, realize I have the Golden Gauntlets, right?” Lozy interjects. “And that I can literally pick this guy up and throw him into the abyss?”

The three of them stare at each other before Navy hums reproachfully. “Yeah, but like, I wanna beat him up a little more??”

“Same.” Rachel agrees.

“Okay, then we can do it like the Bowser battle in Mario 64. I’ll grab his tail and swing it around and you guys can go grab the Master Sword and we’ll be good. You still have the fire tunic thing, right?” Lozy says.

“Yeah. Sounds like a plan.”

Lozy walks over to Trump, dodging the carelessly thrown punches and slashes of the sword and grabs the glowing tail with the Gauntlets.

“I’m gonna spin! Be careful!”

“Alrighty.”

She spins around at high speeds and Trump ends up looking like a tornado made entirely of Orange Fanta. Rachel bends over laughing while occasionally shooting Light Arrows into his asshole. Navy crawls through the fire and the flames and takes back the Master Sword before returning to the others.

“I’m getting dizzy, Navy, hurry up.”

“Alright, alright, put him down. I’ll stab him and get this over with.” Navy says.

Lozy slows down and sets Trump down before leaning into the abyss and throwing up. Navy takes the sword and sticks it through the red-as-republican-Texas crystal on his forehead.

“Six Sages!” Princess Sanders screams as loud as he can. “NOW!”

He throws his arms up in the air before buckling down onto the floor. It seems that he’s too old and tired to do anything else.

There’s a brief cutsce- moment where the three are aware of all the sages doing their duty, and they watch as Trump gets sucked into the Sacred Realm to be banished forever.

When the three of them wake up, they are in the sky. Princess Sanders stands in front of them, his suit stained and torn.

“Give me the Ocarina, Lozy.” He whispers.

“Sure, haha.” Lozy laughs. “I don’t know how to play it anyways.”

“I will return you all to your time… to when you were supposed to be… to how you were supposed to be…”

The Princess plays his lullaby and the story ends.

merry christmas and also trump is president now and im crying

[android-for-life]

"Making our products more helpful in Arabic"

Today, we’re announcing new products in the Middle East and North Africa, a region connected by a common language, Arabic. The Arabic language, beautiful yet complex, is written from right-to-left, has a range of dialects, and one word can mean many different things depending on the context. For our products to be helpful, they need to understand the nuances of the language. 

Visual Search in Arabic

Cinema, music and sports are three of the things people search for the most in Arabic. We’re now showing answers to popular questions in a simple box, so that you can get information faster. For example, if you’re looking to watch a movie, you will find in one box all the movie theaters on the map, the list of movies being aired, showtimes and sometimes a link to book your ticket. Similarly, if you’re searching for Mo Salah, the Egyption football star, you will see his biography, his past goals with Liverpool and the Egyptian National team, and also videos of games and tournaments he played in. 

Celebrities are another topic that people search for a lot. So we’re launching Cameos, a feature on Google Search where celebrities can post videos on the Search homepage answering popular questions about them. For example, if you search for Egyptian actress Yosra El Lozy, you can scroll through videos where she answers many questions like what is a cause she cares about and what is the best advice she got as an actress.   

Cameo feature on Search in Arabic

Google Assistant: “Okay Google, speak to me in Arabic.”

Talking to your phone to get information from Google or to get things done is becoming more popular. In Arabic too, people use it to navigate traffic, search the web, or play music. Earlier this year, we launched the Assistant in Egypt and Saudi Arabia, and people have been asking it to make calls, sing lullabies for children and listen to music (“Okay Google, play Fayruz” is one of the most popular commands.) 

Today, the Assistant will be available in an additional 15 countries in the region—United Arab Emirates, Yemen, Oman, Kuwait, Bahrain, Qatar, Iraq, Morocco, Algeria, Tunisia, Libya, Lebanon, Jordan, Palestine and Mauritania.

Google Maps: navigate the world, get things done, and stay safe

Whether you’re driving or a passenger, everyone wants to feel safe on the road. We’re introducing a feature that gives you an “off-route alert” when your driver has deviated from the suggested route by more than 500 meters. You can also choose to share your live trip with friends and family directly from that screen so they know where you are.

Stay Safer feature on Maps

Helping motorcyclists get through traffic with Google Maps in Egypt

There are more than four million motorbikes in Egypt and the heavy Cairo traffic can affect their journey times. Motorcycle mode on Maps helps motorcyclists avoid congestion on Egypt’s busiest highways by following shortcuts and local roads and have an accurate expected arrival time. This feature is coming next to Algeria and Tunisia, and more countries soon. 

Image of motorcycle mode on Maps in Egypt

Investing in digital skills: Unlocking opportunities for young Arabs 

By next year, one in five jobs in the Arab world will require digital skills. In 2018, we launched our Arabic digital skills program, “Maharat min Google,” which has reached more than 500,000 young people, women and underprivileged students. 130,000 of those were able to find jobs, grow their careers and their businesses. We want to continue that effort. So today, Google.org is giving a $ 1 million grant to Injaz, an NGO that specializes in youth training, to scale their digital skills program to reach a further 100,000 people in 2020.

Every day, people in the Middle East and North Africa turn to Google for help. We hope that the products and updates we're announcing today will make Google even more helpful for finding things out and getting things done. And we’re excited to play our part in unlocking this region’s digital opportunity.

Source : The Official Google Blog via Source information

[funashis]

Zambian Names Beginning With Letter L

There are a lot of Zambian names that begin with letter L and most of them can be found among the Lozi and Tonga speaking people of Western and Southern part of Zambia.

There are a lot of Zambian names that begin with letter L and most of them can be found among the Lozi and Tonga speaking people of Western and Southern part of Zambia.

A few of the names among the Lozi are Liseli, Lubinda, Lishebo, Luchanga, Lubandi, Lwiimbo, Likwabilo, Lineo,

On the other hand, some of the Tonga names are Lubono, Luyando, Lushomo, Lweendo, and Lwiindi among several…

[tiozambia]

President Lungu jets into Western

President Lungu jets into Western

By Staff Writer President Edgar Lungu has arrived in Western Province to dump support for the Patriotic Front Sesheke Parliamentary candidate Dean Masule in the forthcoming by-elections. The Head of State arrived at around 9:00hrs in Mwandi District, Western Province.

He then proceeded to pay courtesy on Senior Chief Inyambo Yeta of the Lozi speaking people of Sesheke in Western province.

He will…

[yohane23]

PROMINENT ROYAL BURIAL SITES IN BAROTSELAND

[gwendolynlerman]

Separatist and irredentist movements in the world

Caprivi Strip

Proposed state: Free State of Caprivi Strip/Itenge

Region: Caprivi Strip, Namibia

Ethnic group: Lozi

Goal: independence

Date: 1994-present

Political parties: Caprivi African National Union

Militant organizations: Caprivi Liberation Army (CLA)

Current status: inactive

History

1485 - the Portuguese arrive in Namibia

1884 - Namibia becomes a German colony

1890 - Germany acquires the Caprivi Strip from the United Kingdom

1994 - the CLA is formed

1999 - CLA insurrection

2002 - the Itengese nation declares the independence of the Free State of Caprivi Strip/Itenge

Germany acquired the Caprivi Strip to annex it to German South West Africa (present-day Namibia) and gain access to a route to the Zambezi River and German East Africa (present-day Burundi, Rwanda, and Tanzania). However, the river proved unnavigable and the Germans lost interest in the territory.

In the late 20th century, the Caprivi Strip became part of a territorial dispute between Botswana and Namibia. In 1999, the International Court of Justice ruled that an island that Sedudu Island, adjacent to the Caprivi Strip, belonged to Botswana.

The Caprivi Liberation Army was created in 1994 with the goal of self-rule for Caprivi. Five years later, it launched several attacks against government forces, to which the government responded with violence and repression.

In 2002, the Itengese nation severed ties with Namibia and declared the independence of the Free State of Caprivi Strip/Itenge, which has not been recognized by any government.

Lozi people

The Lozi people or Barotse consists of more than 46 ethnic groups that inhabit Angola, Botswana, Mozambique, Namibia, Zambia, and Zimbabwe. They speak Lozi, a Bantu language of the Atlantic-Congo family.

There are around 3.6 million Lozi. Their society is highly stratified, with a monarch at the top, but they are not separated into clans.

Vocabulary

Barotse - people of the plain

Itenge - Caprivi Strip

Litunga - keeper of the earth; king

Murotse - person

Namibia ye Lukuluhile - Republic of Namibia

Silozi - Lozi language

[zambianobserver]

The Luvale And Tonga Tribal Cousinship; Relations With Lozi

The Luvale And Tonga Tribal Cousinship; Relations With Lozi

THE LUVALE AND TONGA TRIBAL COUSINSHIP; RELATIONS WITH LOZI How did the Luvale speaking people become tribal cousins with the Tonga speaking people? According to oral history unveiled to us by our elders, when the Lozi first attacked the Tongas in war, they failed and they were defeated as the Tonga people are said to have been good hunters who were skilled with spears and other fighting…

[yohane23]

KING LUBOSI LEWANIKA I

[zambianobserver]

Paramount chiefs ask ConCourt to declare Section 2 of the chiefs Act unconstitutional

THE Litunga of the Lozi speaking people of Western Province and three other paramount chiefs have asked the Constitutional Court to remove Section 2 of the chiefs Act from the statute book as it is unconstitutional and void insofar as it defines the word ‘Chief’.

The paramount chiefs say the definition of the word ‘chief’ in section 2 of the chiefs’ Act is inconsistent with Article 266 of the…