#Loving this shizz so much keeps me determined

[captainkurosolaire]

The Captain is such a delight. I love seeing the care and work you put into each piece that graces our dashes. Here's to more of the delightful Captain Kuro!

ANONYMOUSLY TELL ME YOUR HONEST OPINION ABOUT ME. I CAN’T REPLY, JUST PUBLISH.

[wings-of-a-storm]

Today I find myself consumed by the infamous Simon-Harbouring-Wille’s-Jumper Scenes.  (I swear, Simon putting on Wille’s jumper to feel close to him is some real Brokeback Mountain shizz right there, and frankly how dare he do this to himself and to us! But moving on…)

The infamous Jumper Scenes are pretty much a series of whyyyy questions that torment me on rotation: Why did Simon take Wille’s jumper before anyone else could? Why did he never even try to return it? Why are the writers doing this to us? And why did Simon choose to wear what he did to his Netflix date with Marcus after wearing it?

Send help because I think the beauty of the Jumper Scenes is that they are rife with all sorts of potential interpretations -- but it also means I can never make my mind up!

Okay so Q1: Why did Simon quickly yank Wille's jumper into his custody and hide it under his desk in the first place?

Simon grabbed that jumper so fast, it was like he was worried that someone else was going to take it instead (or that the teacher wouldn’t let him). The fact that he went as far as hiding it from sight under his desk really shows how determined he was to keep it in his custody. It feels like there had to be so much going on subconsciously for Simon to react the way he did there.

Were there elements of needing comfort in confusion? (ie. ‘I hate how this situation feels. Should I do something to try and intervene or leave it be? Let me just hold this remaining link to him until I decide’)

Were there elements of strategy? (ie. ‘I don't know why he is being forced to leave, but if I have his jumper then this is a plausible excuse to go talk to him in person and find out. I’m not letting any teacher or student get their hands on it instead.’)

Were there elements of protectiveness? (ie. ‘I know Wille best so I should be the one to take care of his jumper until it can be returned to him’)

And finally, was there panic driving an instinctual need to hold onto Wille to stop him from leaving (with the jumper acting as a symbol of Wille that Simon can physically hold onto in that moment)?

Whichever combination it was, taking that jumper would have felt like regaining some sense of control in a moment of helplessness. I love that Simon did that instinctually.

But I am so curious as to what excuse Simon gave to himself for taking the jumper. How did he justify it? Especially at a time when he knew maintaining space away from Wille was necessary for his health.

I wonder if he tried to brush it off initially as just a way of securing himself a plausible reason to get access to Wille to return it (and thus have a chance to talk to him to get to the bottom of things without Felice being the middle man).

Or was he cognisant that Wille’s sudden departure forced a split-second choice onto him -- whether he wanted Wille in his life or not -- and his jumper-snatching hands had made that choice for him before his head could catch up. That split-second choice exposed some hidden parameters of Simon’s intention to get over Wille: that 'space' from Wille did not mean 'complete absence' of him. There was a hidden, non-negotiable clause in Simon’s plan and that was that Wille had to still be present in Simon's life even if that meant it would take far longer to get over him. And now Simon is aware of his own caveat and has to act on it by seeking out the headmistress.

Okay, fine, cool, fair enough to Simon. But then...

Q2) Why did he keep the jumper and never return it once the crisis had passed?

Once Simon realised he still had Wille’s jumper in his bag, he had ample opportunity to pack it back in his bag and return it to Wille at school. Easy-peasy. It’s not like he needed it as an excuse to talk to Wille anymore, nor did he need to keep it as a souvenir of Wille since Wille didn’t actually leave. So what excuse did he use to keep it this time? That it was for the sake of the Jubilee because without its scent he couldn’t compose the modernised school song? XD

I know that obviously on a storytelling level, Simon kept the jumper because it is meant to represent his feelings for Wille (ie. treasured, kept close to him in secret, never discarded, unable to be let go of, etc), but I want to know why Simon could never consciously bring himself to return it when he knew that keeping it there in the room with him was completely sabotaging his own plan to get over Wille. I mean, he was so determined to get over Wille because it was agony not to but then he chose to keep Wille’s jumper under his pillow. Where treasured things go. That is not moving on, Simon!

So is that the answer? Simon was aware that he was struggling to let Wille go and this was his way of compromising? He thought he should be strong at school and avoid talking to Wille, but while it still hurts, he could get his secret fix of him in a controlled weaning in the safety of his bedroom? Because in the moments of stillness when he can’t quite distract himself from missing Wille, he can just take Wille’s jumper out and catch Wille’s scent on it or put it on and feel like Wille’s arms are around him, and that is a safe form of missing him because Wille’s not there in person to tempt him…

Oh Simon, you sweet self-saboteur…

But hang on just one minute because Q3! What was that boy thinking wearing his version of Wille’s orange jumper to his Netflix & Chill attempt with Marcus?

Like yes, I know Simon has worn that orange jumper before, but of all his jumpers, why did he change into that one that night? Swapping one shade of orange for another…

It happened after he stared himself down in the mirror for being such a pathetic, lovesick moper, wearing his ex’s jumper (that he stole). Was he hoping that he would be able to override the power of Wille’s Sniffable Orange Jumper™ (and thus Wille himself) by associating the colour orange with Marcus instead? Borrow the power of orange jumpers to jump-start the flame of attraction and then BAM a new sexy memory is unlocked and Wille’s Orange Jumper™ becomes just a pile of who-the-eff-cares cashmere (or whatever it is made from)? Because……. boy, there are easier ways to stop moping. Like just returning the jumper to Wille?

Or was it an entirely unconscious choice? He was just vibing orange when he looked through his closet that evening (because his subconscious was screaming ‘never forget about Wille!’).

Oh these damn jumper scenes do my head in in the best way. There’s so much room for interpretation and varying levels of angst. As I said earlier, send help.

[bnha-almost-a-hero]

hate sex with dabi

part of my ‘kinktober’ series, but it’s only half the days and I decided to start at the end of October.

Our second chapter, featuring Dabi and you as a tsundere. B—Baka!

warnings & shizz: slightly non-con for the first half and, obviously, there’s smut below the cut. i can’t look at Dabi the same now so thank you.

there’s our favourite crispy mofo.

prompt — ‘hate sex’ (except it’s not towards the end)

character — dabi / touya todoroki (reeeeeeeeeeeeee)

“I fucking hate you,” Dabi spat, undoing his pants. You sat there, glaring up at him with angered eyes, your lips curling back into a snarl.

Ever since you had joined the League of Villains (shortly after the majority of the League had joined, but before the attack on the U.A. training camp), you and Dabi had butt heads. At first, it started with minor disagreements (such as you disagreeing with the mockingly saccharine nicknames he gave you, namely ‘princess’) to full-blown arguments based on your petulance and his blasé attitude towards everything. It got so bad that the League had pretty much all unanimously and silently agreed to keep you both out of the same room as each other (judging by the way Toga would usher you out of the room when he swaggered in).

But now you two were face-to-face, or rather, face-to-crotch.

The rest of the League were off on some reconnaissance mission, well, except for Shigaraki and Kurogiri, but they were upstairs in Shigaraki’s room after Shigaraki had freaked out on Dabi and Kurogiri had to excuse both himself and the young leader to calm down. So, here you were, trying to enjoy yourself (as much as you could with that burnt, Jack Skellington-looking motherfucker staring at you from the other side of the room) as you watched pregnant dwarf porn when he’d walked over to you, dragged you to the floor and uttered those four words:

‘I fucking hate you’.

You’d heard it before, many times, in fact. Your slightly bitchy attitude didn’t really mesh well with most people which was one of the many reasons you were outcasted by society and what led you to end up here. The fact that he said it wasn’t really what bothered you, it was the fact he was unzipping his pants. 

You shot him a quizzical, if annoyed look before moving to get up.

“Sit the fuck down,” He commanded, harshly, and you found yourself planting your ass back onto the floor by the sheer power that exuded from his voice. He finished unzipping his pants, then slid them down along with his boxers. 

You almost expected his dick to be scarred, but was pleasantly surprised with the condition it was in. Clean, pristine and fucking huge. Considering he was semi-flaccid as of now, you couldn’t exactly pinpoint his size, but, what you did know, was that he was definitely a shower. Two adjacent barbell piercings shone in the dim light of the bar-turned-hideout and you squirmed backwards then crawled forwards again, almost intrigued as Dabi took his cock by one hand and jerked it to full hardness.

A sliver of drool slid down the side of your mouth, which you quickly wiped away before he saw. I am not turned on, I am not turned on, I am—

“Now, suck it,” He demanded, one hand on his erect prick and the other coiled in your hair to stabilize your movements. “And pay attention to the piercing, that’s where the money is.”

You glared up at him, “Eat a—slurk!” You gagged as he forced you down onto his dick, pushing you past your feeble gag reflex and down into your throat proper. A throb echoed through your body, followed by a dull buzz that shot straight down to your cunt, like an electric shock that jolted you awake. “Glack—! Glack—!” 

“I’m sorry, you tryna say something? Can’t really hear you over all that cock-sucking your doin’.” Dabi mocked, brushing a hand through his spiky hair. So indifferent about everything, as if he weren’t getting his cock sucked. Granted, you weren’t doing a very good job and, for the most part, were just holding his cock in your throat, but, still, you expected some degree of moaning. He yanked your hair harshly and you grimaced, eyes flickering up to look at him. “You’re worse than I thought. Move your tongue around or somethin’. I thought someone who’s so good at yappin’ her mouth would be good at using it.”

“Gkrrkk fakkk yo—akkk—!” You manage to get out, frowning as you meant to say ‘go fuck yourself’. 

Realizing verbal insults wouldn’t work, not only because you surprisingly couldn’t speak with an eight-inch cock clogging your throat, but also because of his indifferent attitude, you slide your hand up to his surprisingly muscled thighs (homie must have been doing squats) and pinched as hard as you could. 

He doesn’t even flinch…

He only snickers and grabs you by the hair tighter until your scalp burns. He pushes you down onto his cock, then pulls you up again. You gag, your throat burning as he uses you as a repressed gamer would use a sex toy. Tears well in your eyes as you stare up at his blurry image. At the sight of him, your core burns and you hate yourself for feeling the way you do, but—.

But you need relief…

Your hand sneaks down your pants, quickly tugging at the buttons and the zip until it slides down to reveal your underwear. With a vicious, needy savagery, you tug your last barrier of resistance down—grasping for your aching pussy. You figure if he gets his relief by fucking your throat, you can, at least, touch yourself. 

Your index enters your spasming, hot cunt and a shameful ‘squelch’ fills the room as you realize just how wet you are. Luckily, Dabi doesn’t realize over the chorus of ‘gakkk’, ‘gakkk’, ‘gakkk’s you make as you’re forced down onto his cock, or else he would’ve come up with some witty remark to mock you. Finding one finger isn’t enough, you quickly add your middle finger to the mix and use your thumb to massage your engorged clit in small, circular motions.

You moan against his cock and are about to reach a hand up to play with your chest when Dabi pulls at your hair again, signalling you to look at him.

“Oh, so you have the energy to touch yourself, but you can’t give me a decent blowjob?” He asks, but you can tell from his tone that he isn’t truly angry. You’ve never really seen him express any emotion other than ‘I can’t give a fuck; I’m just trolling everyone’ or ‘I kinda enjoy this’. “Now tell me how that’s fair.”

You only murmur against his thick cock and he chuckles.

“You want me to fuck you, right?” He asks, his hand actually falling away from your hair.

He’s giving you autonomy, a choice, a decision. You rub your thighs together, your nipples hardening as you think. You’re still on the fence as to what you think of him altogether. Sure, you two get into arguments constantly and you were certain you hated him, but you kinda were happy to be around him. You enjoyed his laid-back attitude, you enjoyed how he called you ‘princess’, you—

You—

Fuck! You thought. Why the fuck did you miss him when you were ushered away from each other? Why would you secretly peer into the room when he was in there? Why, when you looked at him, did you feel so content? Like you could stare into those captivating, electric eyes of his whilst the world crumbled around you too.

Could it be love?

You didn’t answer that, instead, you slipped his cock out of your throat, coughing slightly as you did so.

“L—Listen!” You addressed him, despite knowing that he was already listening. You cleared your throat, hoping it would diminish your stuttering. It didn’t. “T—This is only a friends with benefits sorta thing. I—I d—don’t want you thinking this is l—love, okay?”

Dabi shrugged, “Fine by me.”

And your heart dropped at that. You didn’t know why, it just did. Why did you want him to care? Why did you want him to insist you two had a romantic relationship? Why couldn’t you just express your emotions clearly? Why was this so—so difficult?

Why—?

Why—?

Why—?

Still, you had to remain strong and unbothered. Just like he did. You straightened yourself up, took your fingers away from your cunt—even as it spasmed in protest—and looked up at him.

“What are you waiting for?” You asked, embarrassed by the silence. “Give me your dick.”

“It’s right there,” He said, motioning to the cock that was right in front of you, but not bothering to move.

You looked to the floor in embarrassment. Of course, I’m so stupid.

You tentatively grasped for the dick, shuddering with excitement as you brought your face closer to it. The smell, of spit and salty pre-cum, made you lightheaded as you licked your lips. I’m ready.

You opened your lips and leaned forward, swallowing the head in its entirety before his tip hit the back of your throat and your gag reflex kicked in. You choked on his dick, but found salvation as you started to move your head backwards and forwards—bobbing your head slowly. You remembered what he said earlier about his piercings and traced your tongue along a particularly thick vein on the underside of his dick until you found two adjacent metal barbells.

You swirled your tongue around the piercings, finding relief as he groaned in pleasure. You smirked knowingly before your hands crept down to find their own pleasure. Once again, you pushed your index and middle finger into your hot cunt, moaning against his cock before pressing your thumb against your swollen clit, rubbing your nub as your other hand reached up to tweak a neglected nipple.

“Fuck, that’s better, princess,” He places his hand into your hair, but, this time, instead of pulling or tugging, he simply caressed. “Such an obedient lil’ slut, aren’t you?”

Determined now, you continue your assault on his piercings, but force your head down further and further until you’re certain you’ve reached the halfway mark. Then, taking your hand off of your nipples, you trail it down to his swollen balls. You cup one inquisitively to which he gives a drawn-out followed by patting your head urgently.

Careful not to fuck up and cause Dabi immense pain, you softly squeeze his nut, rolling it under your fingers until the gesture becomes natural to you. You stare up at him and he smirks down at you, obviously pleasured judging by the way he’s biting his lip. You multitask, bobbing your head up and down as you gently squeeze his balls and play with yourself.

Your head feels like its lying on clouds, there’s no thought, no work, no nothing and you feel…

Euphoric.

And so does he.

“Be prepared, slut,” He tells you, running a hand through your hair. “I’m gonna cum soon, okay?”

You nod your head before going back to your cock-sucking endeavours, desperate to reap your well-deserved reward. Your movements hold a new vigour now you have something to work towards, you finally know what it means to be—

To be—

Happy.

Yes, that’s the word.

And, as he throws his head back and gives one final moan before cumming down your throat, you’re certain he’s happy too...

[folkpunkrock-littlewing-blog]

Childhood Crushes Tag 💗

Rules: write at least five or more fictional or celebrity crushes you had as a kid. Be sure to include pictures!

Oof! Thank you so much, @vanaera for the tag! Let’s get down to business: my fictional childhood crushes, anime edition. In no particular order. (I wasn’t sure what age to draw the line, so I just went with the ones from furthest back.)

Oh shizz, I just realized it also said "celebrity" after filling this out. Shdjjd I CAN'T READ.

1. Duo Maxwell and Chang Wu-fei from Gundam Wing

Something about Duo’s energy and liveliness always captivated me, and even still to this day. He’s boisterous, but not annoyingly so (unless you ask Hiro... 😅); he acts like he doesn’t care about anyone but himself, yet he cares deeply for his friends and the common good, and if he has to get physical to prove it then he isn't afraid to; he’s adorable and goofy as hell, but is serious and determined when the moment calls for it.

As for Wu-fei, he was my original GW crush when I first picked up the anime with my brother. Just his no-nonsense attitude and cool, aloof, and collected demeanor was always so admirable and intriguing. Stubborn as hell and intelligent to boot, a tsundere through and through.

2. Kanone Hilbert from Spiral

I LOVED HIS ACCENT. Lmbo. He was such a mysterious character and looked after all of the other Blade Children. He cared deeply but had serious mental health issues that he kept from the others, and even at a young age that really resounded with me. He only had one friend with whom he felt he could truly open up to and saw as a brother since their youth. Characters like that honestly break me the most.

3. Tomahome from The Mysterious Play

So, this one wasn’t until years after originally watching the anime–when I got into middle school. My best friend at the time and I always had this runinng inside joke, because the first time Miaka and Tomahome run into each other again after Yui is sent back to the real world, Tomahome has this really funny and macho-esq stance, and it’s freeze-framed for dramatic effect, but it’s hilarious. He loves to tease the other celestial warriors, but would never-the-less die for them (and probably die before admitting it). My favorite relationship is probably his and Tatsuki's (besides him and Miaka)– it started out rough and shakey, but evolved into this hilarious brotherhood. Even though he was totally and utterly devoted to money and “cold. hard. cash.” he had such a benevolent and heart wrenching reason. When he finally opens up and begins to love Miaka, it’s like everything shifts because he made her his one reason, and that ducking hurts. He has such a powerful and emotional backstory, that once you learn about it it’s impossible not to fall for him.

4. Fuji Shūsuke and Eiji Kikumaru from Prince of Tennis

Oh. My. Gosh. Talk about burdensome. 🙄 I adored this manga (then the anime) from the start. What really got it for me at the start was Fuji’s character. He wore this mask of happiness and indifference, always keeping others at arms reach. He never opened up about his demons or his internal struggles until Tezuka basically beats his ass into confiding in him. When it came to the game he turned into another person, focusing solely on his opponent and the game at hand.

As far as Eiji goes he was always so bubbly and carefree, enjoying the little things. He cared for the other players deeply, but his best friend/doubles partner was his closest companion. He’s exuberant and fun, but that doesn’t mean he didn’t have his own worries. When he plays he puts his all into it and is almost a perfectionist when it comes to the game, berating himself for his mistakes after a loss.

*looks back then at Hoseok* Oh, God. There's a pattern

5. Yami Bakura from Yu-Gi-Oh!

You know, before he turned out to be the diabolical villain? A two-sided coin–he seemed to have cared and worried for the other players, even while battling them. He was a humble winner and worked exponentially hard to get to where he was, granted for a hidden agenda, yet still. I think even after he turned out to be the villian I was still enamored. Dedicated and persevering, and even emotional, it was plain to see that he wasn’t all truly bad and actually struggling with the duelling personality.

I'll tag... whoever wants to do this! If you see this from me, feel free to tag me in it! I'd love to see if there's a pattern with you all, as well.

[exsolis]

[ Random Miku idea that may make no sense but I have to get it out of my system XD ]

Me dealing with the Miku’s mom incident XD

Scenario #1 (which would be like canon divergent Miku)

If Miku’s mother actually did pass away, I’d imagine it being when she was still a young girl. Incidentally, this can coincide with her meeting Hibiki. (what age they met at is not determined but it could be before they were teenagers or on the verge of it) For example; it could be how she met Hibiki or happened after they met, but I like the idea that they met by Miku receiving outside help from someone during a hard time (this scenario is much more in terms as if she did in fact pass away at a young age and imagining one where she passed away where Miku was older before all the concert mess is another post for another day xD). Perhaps Miku was much more reserved/quiet than she kind of already is??? and it was partially due to the death of her mother. What she died from? Not sure; could be something dramatic (like an accident) or just something unexpected and simple (like sickness). Depending on the situation, and how it happened, she could either be mad, sad or both.

If this is the case, it’s possible that she didn’t trust anyone enough with her problems/feelings, so she merely spent time by herself or with her father. And if I used this as a way that she met Hibiki, then it’s simple enough to a point where Hibiki reached out to her one day randomly just because (or maybe she was sitting by herself or some shizz idk) and started talking to her. Now, if someone does this randomly, it probably would freak you out. So, in terms of Miku’s personality/sign, she could have also placed distrust on Hibiki, so she doesn’t react to her attempts to speak to her. But due to Hibiki’s persistence, Miku eventually stops moving away from her. So Hibiki never ends up asking what’s wrong or what’s bothering her, to the point that Miku got confused why she didn’t/wouldn’t. But eventually, that respect overwhelmed her to the point that she fully admitted to her that her mother died. This can go either way; Miku could have waited years until she said something or told her after a few months (year at most).

But anyway, I’d say her father encouraged the friendship, thinking that Miku needed someone/friends her age to spend time with instead of “spending time with an old man grieving like himself”. He thought it would be better for her that way. His words didn’t stop Miku from spending time with him whenever she could and aiding him as much however. This can also help develop her strong concern about her friends since she lost her mother.

Many other things can happen, but that’s basically the gist and I’d be here all day with tiny details. XD

Scenario #2

Going with the idea that her mother is still alive, and using the idea @datxra suggested to me one day, we can say that her parents were busy people and weren’t around much. This doesn’t mean they didn’t love her, not at all, but due to their jobs, they were away a lot. Miku didn’t take this personal, and used the time to become fairly independent in her own right. But she also couldn’t deny that it made her feel rather lonely and there are many different scenario’s she could have done with that loneliness. (like her picking up instruments/music as a hobby, doing track and field to keep herself busy, or spending a lot of time with the Tachibana family).

Her parents, I’d think, are very supportive people and try to be there for Miku whenever they possibly can. And when they can’t, they’d feel bad but Miku is there to reassure them and look after them after a long day at work. (look after them like doing simple things around the house before they come back or just helping whenever possible. But due to Miku in GX OVA saying this---

---I can’t help but think, and somewhat laugh, imagining her mom kicking her out of the kitchen because she was eager to help for something similar to that reason lmao. Though this also can make me think her and Hibiki may have met in middle school but again, ANOTHER POST/SCENARIO FOR ANOTHER TIME. ANYWAY)

But basically, they were rather supportive on her decision to go to Lydian and still keep in contact with her, just to make sure she’s okay. They more than likely know how Miku can be about people close to her, so they (maybe amusingly) call to make sure she’s not worrying/stressing herself too much, but obviously Miku can’t tell them about her friends being Symphogeah Users so she blames it on schoolwork. This can also be placed in scenario one where her dad is the one to check up on her but at the same time, I’d imagine either one of her parents being like “she’s gooooooood. She can handle herself I’m sure” but still end up worrying. Lol.

I don’t know; I can’t imagine Miku’s parents being bad people so no matter what scenario, I’d say they were/are supportive people. 

#POSITIVE PARENTS ]

[cantusecho-archive]

(One thing I feel like I should say still gets to me about Hibiki after all this time---

---is her kindness/optimism.

Just in general, let me say that I admire Hibiki for how kind she is to people. She’s seen the bad side of people, yet still tries her best to be optimistic and kind, despite her shortcomings.

For people that don’t know, I love roleplaying optimistic characters. Something about them draws me in everytime and I find myself always writing these crazy/silly/funny/WAY TOO NICE characters. Of course they’re all different in their own ways, but the core of their personalities is that they’re optimistic. 

But I think what I find interesting about characters like that is there’s usually more to them than meets the eye. Yes, they can be really positive and act like nothing bothers them or not have a care in the world, but obviously have their own struggles underneath it all. Instead of choosing to worry about it (or face it in Hibiki’s case), they choose to hide behind false happiness, also to not bother other people with their problems. Again, that’s not the case for EVERY character like this, but I’m just saying.

And Hibiki is no exception to my bias. Lol.

I speak about it all the time, but the fact she can still be happy and treat everyone with kindness after how people treated her amazes me. I think it’s important to note that Hibiki was luckier than her other friends; she still had a family, one that was normal. It’s just after the concert everything began to fall apart. I truly believe that support from her grandmother, mother and Miku really helped her.

The exact details of that time are still unknown, but everyone can summarize that she got bullied/harassed for simply surviving the concert. She wasn’t the only one of course; many people that survived were guilt-tripped about living, had their homes damaged and attacked, and simply treated them as if they didn’t deserve to live.

Now a person can react to that in so many different ways, depending on their personality or mindset. How Hibiki reacted, however, is up in the air (officially). I normally say that she felt guilty for putting so much on her family and that would be her only regret. She doesn’t regret living (I’m confident she is THRILLED to be alive despite kids saying sh*t like---

‘cause WTF.) But I think her guilt is basically about her family, and how that may lead to her feeling responsible for breaking her family the way it did. Hibiki always talked about being “cursed” in the first season, albeit in a humourous way, but maybe after all this shizz happened, she really starts to worry that she’ll only end up making things worse for people instead, despite how much she actually wants to help.

Of course, all that stuff isn’t her fault, but that’s not the point of this post. XD

And what kills me about this is that, despite how insecure/worried she may feel about hurting people, she still helps anyway. After her activation of Gungnir, she’s so eager to help that it gets her in trouble (which made her seem very insensitive to Tsubasa when she said she’d “replace Kanade”.)

This leads into Hibiki “trying her best” to help those at any given moment. It seems to be the one of the biggest things that really gives her joy; she probably was like this before she got injured, but the incident may have intensified that urge. I mean, her determination to freakin’ keep trying her best DESPITE her shortcomings is something I’d ramble about too but haAHAAA.

She even goes as far as helping enemies when most of the time it doesn’t make sense to do so (to others). Like her being so determined to save Carol---

taking a hit for Chris---

and saving Fine’---

Despite the concert changing her life (for the good and the bad), it allows her to help people much more efficiently, which is something she loves doing obviously. And instead of looking at it like a curse, (with everything she’s been through ever since she got it) she calls it a miracle.

It’s just ridiculously adorable to me. In another twist, someone could say that it ruined their life and want nothing to do with it, but it all depends on the person at that point.

Her kindness to people that have done her wrong is admirable, but I also like the fact that she still is affected by it. Since season 3 ended, she’s gotten better with her worries about hurting people and is on her way to reconnecting with her father. But it’s understandable if she’s still scared of the possible outcome (at least I’d think so). I like to imagine Hibiki always having a positive outlook on life, and merely wants people to be happy and feel like they belong, not cast to the side simply because of what they’ve been through or done in the past like her classmates/people in her town did to her and others.

-BREATHES- POINT IS---

I admire how kind she still is after all this time, willing and determined to help people no matter what. For people to tell her that she should “kill herself/shouldn’t be living/not worthy of being alive” isn’t something easy to hear as a kid, which is even worse if your father acts like he can’t accept you during all that as well. But even after that, she still sees the good in people(????). She’ll still beat up people if they’re “evil”, but she never fights to injure anyone. She always fights to protect, even those she’s fighting (since she wants to talk things through all the time). 

There’s bad side effects to all these habits as well (since what if she comes across a person that she can’t change/help with her kindness OF PUNCHING no matter how hard she tried?) but I won’t get into that.

-rubs my face against the ground-

I felt calmer writing this but it still doesn’t seem to make sense lmfao.)