#Love yourself because you're worth it
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I cannot express enough that if your reaction, as a hobby artist, to not getting that many notes on your art is to say "maybe I should just stop doing art altogether" you need to stop posting art to tumblr
not necessarily forever, not even for long, but just stop putting your art on here and start doing it for you again, remember why you enjoyed doing art in the first place and stop relying on the attention of faceless people on the internet for your enjoyment of your hard work
believe me, I get it, nothing crushes the artistic soul quite like labouring for hours on a piece only for it to get like 10 notes, so you need to find your own source of joy in the act of creation and a lot of the time that means making art and not showing it to anybody
#not art#listen#for real#this is not about any one person because i've seen posts about it from a bunch of people#you think i post everything here? buddy i dont even post half my stuff here#every drawing you see is preceded by five more just like it#that never see my cursor close to the save button#i have a sketchbook i draw in regularly that i do'nt show to a single goddam person#i make cutout art from gels i steal from work and stick them to my windows and do paintings in my living room just for me#because that it the only way you are ever going to be able to retain your original love of art#is by doing it for the sake of doing it#not for the sake of seeing how many people stop and stare#anyways i'm sorry if this sounds terse#but i'm so sick of seeing artists put all their self-esteem and happiness in the hands of a blogging website#stop selling yourself short by measuring your self worth by how many reblogs you get and what people say in the tags#your artistry and your happiness are worth more than that#if you're an artist for a living that's another story#but even then#even then#anyways sorry i'm done ranting
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Jackie died. Jackie died and I'm devastated. I will never be the same person again
#I had to pause the game to bawl my eyes out#I WAS SO INVESTED IN HIM ARE YOU KIDDING ME#I think I get what you're trying to say to me game. is it worth it to put yourself in danger#and destroy yourself for a chance at a fame that you probably won't even get to enjoy#because you won't be there to see it?#is it worth it to break the hearts of the people you love in this pursuit? the people who'll grieve you?#I mean it's part of the first question that dex asks you when this whole thing starts and the last thing he says to you is also about that#about whether you wanna live a peaceful life or. go out like this#I get that. if that's what it's going for I get that. it gets the point across I'm not angry. but also#THAT WAS MY FRIEND#JACKIE MY FRIEND JACKIE 😭#WHAT DO YOU MEAN HE DIED OF BLOOD LOSS THIS IS BULLSHIT#I'm never getting over this#sleep.txt#cp2077#jackie welles#OK OK HOLD ON I have more to say. I wanna expand on that jdjfkdkf bc I have Thoughts. especially playing corpo v like#I think the whole thing hit me even harder as corpo bc you get to see a sort of parallel situation with your v#where you had all this renown and respect but it came at a great cost. so great it nearly killed you#and then you go through that again and now you're dying and your friend is dead#and it's all in the pursuit of fame and money#that scene in the car when they're heading for the hotel reminded me so much of that initial scene with v#when you get in your fancy car and sip your fancy champagne#and like 10 minutes later nearly get killed by people from arasaka#I think there might be a point to be made there. about jackie heading towards the same kind of life just with a different coat of paint#being seduced by the same things we were seduced by while accepting the cost without fully understanding it#and then when you're faced with it it's. well it's heartbreaking and life ending#self destruction in the pursuit of something that makes you wonder if it was even all that worth it to begin with#viktor vektor is probably the happiest person I've met so far and that's saying something#anyway rant over. ty for your time I'm gonna go cry over jackie in the corner excuse me
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lol at lb being a heathcliff anti as if mal and alina's relationship isn't just a piss poor version of catherine & heathcliff's all consuming love
#she aimed for devoted orphans against the world#and instead got 'insecure girl makes herself ill for her chad bff whilst he's busy chasing tail'#this is antithesis of catherine who actually grew sick when she was AWAY from heathcliff#because he was her soul. the one person whom she could be her true unabashed self around#wouldn't you like that alina? wouldn't it be wonderful to not have to repress yourself to the point of illness around the person you love?#then theres mal with 'sorry i didn't see u before (too busy fucking girls hotter than u) but i see u now (that you're wanted by other men)'#tragic really. thoughts and prayers for alina's self worth.#granted heathcliff can be hard to stomach but at least he's written with sincerity. unlike mal.#anti malina#anti mal oretsev#anti leigh bardugo
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I have spent so much time, thoughts, work and tears trying desperately to be someone special/popular/known that there was no room left for the thought of how much more beautiful it would be, instead of becoming someone else, to work on learning to love and accept myself exactly the way I am right now. While this isn’t easy either, it’s still so much easier than becoming someone I’m not.
I want to stop romanticizing that life can only be beautiful if you’re popular and known by many people. But I want to start romanticizing how nice it would be to love yourself. How nice it would be to look at myself and to think "You’re worth it, you’re worth working on accepting and loving yourself."
#why am I posting this here? Because I thought about it so often in the last time and I'm sure many know this feeling#I really want to work on myself to start loving myself the way I am and I want all you wonderful people to do the same#More like I wish you could do the same#I wish you could love yourself because you're a wonderful person#Everyone is#And I simply hope some people can relate#I really never thought about the fact how much easier it would be to love myself. But I tried so hard to change myself to fit my own#standards more#But it's not worth it#Because everyone is already special and amazing#And I want other people to know it#So I post it here on hbj because I can reach more people with it#I don’t want people to feel sorry for me - that's not why I post it here#I want people to know that they are worth being loved especially by themselves 💚#positivity#self awareness#self acceptance#self love#mental health awareness#hbj talks#not dw#reminder <3#romanticizing self love
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Imagine your f/o reminding you to eat your meals! Heck, even cooking something nice for you and bringing it to you!! You're busy working, you're forgetful or you've been feeling down lately, they get it! But not to worry cause they got ya covered!! remember to take care of yourself <3
#from a person who just remembered they haven't had a decent meal in about three days#not cause I can't make it#but because I really forget to eat#frank would get really concerned abt it.. ngghhh.. :(#self shipping it's very important to people.. cause of these typa things#important to me at least#A WAY TO REMIND YOURSELF YOU'RE WORTH LOVING 😔
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I think abandoning diet culture and favouring the function of my body versus the ~aesthetic~ of my body has really opened my eyes and given me a new chance to be one with myself.
It is hard to get through this, but I honestly think it's worth the investment it takes to unlearn the idea that your body must serve others and must be out of the way, and must only take up so much space to be valued and for you to be loved.
#anti diet culture#celebrating what my body can do in the here and now has only taught me good things about myself#it's taught me how strong my body is and how i can push it further on my own time#like it can be really hard because the double whammy of dysphoria and body shaming of men but. fuck it i ball. i will continue to ball#haters mad i can ball and cry at the same time (joking)#also like... it will be a personal journey for everybody and there isn't the ~final stage~ where you'll pnly be happy with yourself...#...i don't think that's reasonable or fair to expect that from yourself...#...the important part of unlearning diet culture is that no matter what your body can/can't do and no matter how it appears...#...no matter all of that you're still worthy of love and respect and nourishment and happiness#you don't have to adore your body to recognize its worth *and* your worth#you could hate your body and still recognize that you deserve all those things#and lord knows sometimes we do hate our bodies and that is morally neutral at *worst*#i just hope that you all are able to internalize your inherent worth <3#and i wanted to post about this because i think this conversation is important and unlearning these expectations is also important
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ten needs to be trapped in a torture chamber forever for what he does to martha. I hope jakey the time lord fucking dies
#heyy girl lets kiss also share a bed in this inn What do you mean it's weird it's not weird winky face but ew i would never LOVE you#what do you mean how could you even think that i must respect the memory of blond 19 year old who was better than you in every way btw#i defintiely find it more INTERESTING than rose's seasons bc i think theres more dramatic tension than just. We're in love! like ok whateve#doesnt mean that tension is always fun to watch and obviously there are Problems with it#but theres something compelling about the awfulness of it just laid bare#like if you thought rose was Grounded & Realistic. here's the actual stuff. martha's family's not even messy in a particularly charming way#as in they dont turn out to become beloved and heroic recurring side characters like jackie/pete/mickey#everythings on tenterhooks if you're not his Object you're constantly having to reassert yourself and recontextualize the relationship#like oh actually this is scary and feels bad and sometimes there just isnt a heartwarming conclusion where Love saves all#she's fighting for her place in the story but it's not even worth itttt#it's kinda cool.... there are som eideas here.....#ten is so frustrating because he's such a human man about it you KNOW he knows what he's DOINGGGG#doc who
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my jaw hurts because I wanted to take a funny picture of me with a weezer cd in my mouth but after I took the picture I forgot to take the cd out of my mouth for a bit :[
#mole talks#my cd isn't damaged though by the way .. its fine#and also worth it because i love getting funny pictures of myself its the only time i can take pics of myself#a few years ago i accidentally broke those string things in the bottom of a bed so i put my head through the string and took a picture#doing stupid shit is fun. if you're reading this then you should go take a picture of yourself climbing a tree#wiat omg its been.. a while since i climbed a tree#i want to climb a tree and take ny weezer cd with me so i can take a picture of me with weezer on a tree#im sleepy#i kind of have a headache again i wonder if its because i put a cd case in my mouth
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Do you ever read a post where someone is explaining a pokitical thing and from the way they're saying you know with absolute certainty 1) they got their info from a tumblr post and have never actually followed up on how feasible that information actually is to act upon (they may not even have checked if it was CORRECT, but when they do they have clearly not looked into how easy or hard it may be to follow those instructions with a positive outcome), and 2) you know WHICH tumblr post they're quoting because it is basically a copy/paste of it, and 3) it was YOUR goddamn post and the thing they are saying is entirely counter to the point you were making when you said it to the point that you genuinely wonder if they just like. Memory-holed the entire context once they saw that one itty bitty point.
It's like the motherfuckiny dating apps all over again. I do not want people to love my words if they are not actually willing to do the work of understanding them! Didn't your kindergarten ever make you play Telephone to teach you how heresay falls out????
#sometimes i feel like a prized 12 point buck and everyone is desperate to give chase so they can skin me and wear my pelt in memorium#the luxury of being seen is rarely extended to those we perceive as confident/constant in their sense of self#the path of being a child who was constantly told i was making people uncomfortable and alienating my peers#only to immediately become an adult who everyone perceives as so together that they are just Like That With Everyonr#brennan said something like this in the disection of a recent misfits and magic episode about sam (character)#and how he (as evan) realized that the charm and specialness she gifts to everyone around her means that no one ever really gifts it back#and how that fundamentally felt transcendent and revelatory for evan as a turning point idea#he'd spent so long never trusting others feelings of care for him that he couldn't see how he was bulldozing right into and over sam's own#insecurities about whether or not she is worth loving or is special in the same way#and then they had some back and forth about like#sometimes when you develop the skill of relateability and pacification#you disappear so deeply into it that no one notices you're gone - even you yourself - until it's too late#it put to words a lot of the like#gap. that i've always felt between me and others. this insistance on elevating or pathologizing me depending on where they feel the need#to be in relation to me#while having absolutely zero awareness of my actual positioning in relation to them#i have found that they way i interact with others seems to give the impression that because i am being 'genuine' and 'open' about myself#that ALSO means that I am sharing the whole of me.#and when i talk about destigmatization and shame and people work really hard to be like. aware of the edges of me to carch me embarrassed#like if they can prove that i don't 'admit' something it's because i'm ashamed as opposed to considering that maybe they don't have the kind#of relationship with me that would warrant the sharing of it#because i'm willing to talk i am no longer allowed privacy or it's treated as incongruous#but like. i am different people for different people and they are all authentically me but they are also about faciliting the version#of the other person that matters to me to be able to spend time with. i'm not going to bring the parts of me that put you in a bad mood#or aren't comfortable/safe for you. also probably not going to put those things out into the open world as a mixed company conversation#i don't know where I'm going or where I came from here but i think the point is just that I think there's melancholy in seeing when#you also don't know a reliable way to be seen in turn
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idea: Roxy goes into excited puppy mode when Cassie gets off the school bus and the other kids all yell "HI ROXY" and she is just THRIVING. the BEST part of her day
Yeeeeeesssss
Cassie's first day back at school has Roxy waiting for her to come back all day long and all that pent up energy from the day just explodes the second Cassie is back... Laying on the couch staring sadly at the door, waiting for the moment Eddie comes to get her so they can go pick her up from school or the bus stop or whatever. She hates school with a burning passion because Cassie should be able to do whatever she wants forever! This is such bullshit why can't Cassie stay and fuck around with her all day instead?! That's so unfair!!!
Honestly this is giving me the mental image of the bus passing the Plex and the second it does, Roxy leaps through the broken window and floors it down the street after it. Meteors Roxy (cause she's stuck in my brain) specifically just running full speed on her fours as fast as physically possible to reach the bus stop before Cassie's bus. First few times she does it, she howls a bit so Cassie definitely sees her running on the path beside the road, and now it's a daily thing lmao
Just a bus full of kids either cheering for the bus driver to go faster or cheering Roxy on as she races the bus everyday. Cassie is, of course, on Roxy's side every time, and it's actually remarkable how often she wins. The bus driver has taken to it and plays along sometimes, speeding up when the roads are quiet so the kids start cheering and slowing down to let Roxy catch up if something's caught her up like a group of slow walkers or something. They honk the horn as they go past the Plex and it's become the start sound of another race starting. They hear the beep beep of the bus and the kids swarm the windows to watch Roxy catapult herself out of the Plex window and rocket after them. The driver thought they'd had her one time, but she fucking barrelled around the corner and only just made it before the bus did lmao she got a congratulatory handshake for that one too she really did just rob them of the win dnjdnd
Cassie gets off the bus and is immediately flying tackled by a very out of breath Roxy. She's swept off her feet in a spinning hug, and if Roxy loses the race and is still running when Cassie steps off it? Well she meets her in the middle and they get to tackle eachother! It makes her feel so important and so loved it's unreal, especially because she knows one hundred percent that Roxy really does love her to bits and wouldn't go to this much effort for anyone else. The feeling is mutual, Cassie just can't fucking race a moving vehicle to show it lmao nsjdn. However, they've both been told they need to dial it down a bit because Roxy has bruised both of them a decent number of times with how hard she crashes into her... Cassie doesn't really care though, it just sort of stings after the fun wears off and later on when she pulls it too much. Totally worth it though!
And if there's a kid that doesn't believe that Roxy is Cassie's sister now? There's a whole bus load of kids that witness her racing the fucking bus everyday so she can see her again as soon as physically possible that can back them up lmao. She's a favourite among the kids on that bus, the door opens to kids cheering for her whenever she wins the race and for the bus driver whenever she loses. It's so fucking fun and the highlight of her and Cassie's day! It's something to look forward to for the kids at the end of the school day too, her antics are a little mood boost for some of them it's great! She sometimes wears a silly hat or costume for the added surprise of it lmao. That part was Sunny's idea of course, and Chica and Bonnie help her do it.
Ya know what too? If Bonnie or someone changes in Meteors and also starts doing it on occasion, the kids go wild cause now it's a THREE way race!! And holy shit Roxy is somehow faster than a giant rabbit how is that even possible?! She tells anyone that asks that it's pure skill, but Bonnie always says that she's so excited to Cassie every day that it lets her do the impossible with ease... Roxy doesn't really like that explanation cause it makes her sound soft as fuck but it also makes her sound pretty cool being able to do the impossible so... She's a bit torn lmao
And if Roxy isn't there for whatever reason? Everyone's asking Cassie what's wrong. Roxy got sick for a while and Cassie came back from school one day during that with a bunch of get well soon presents for her, Roxy feels so loved by this group of ten year olds she's never met lmao. Would be extra sweet if Roxy made a point to make something to give them all in return too as a thank you, like she and Cassie made cupcakes for everyone on the bus when she was feeling up to it or something. She's gotta make sure her adoring fans know she appreciates them, right? And Cassie doesn't mind being the middle man here. She finds it pretty satisfying to be able to have large groups of kids listen to her and be excited to see what she's brought them. It's pretty fun honestly! She enjoys it more than she expected to!
Cassie is just so important to Roxy that she'd race a bus to say hi... By sweeping her off her feet and swinging her around with joy because CASSIE'S BAAAACCCKKK!!!! WOOOO!!! BEST PART OF HER DAY, YOU RIGHT ANON!!! ESPECIALLY IF SHE BEAT THE BUS TOO!!! SHE'S WINNING AT EVERYTHING!!!
#fnaf security breach#roxanne wolf#meteors roxy#meteors au#because its most applicable to that au#but oh boy has this given me some cassie story arc ideas!#i just need to get a good solid grasp on Cassie's character i think#i mostly have one but i don't talk about her enough for it to be that solid#i love Cassie... and so does Roxy!!#and if you're wondering why roxy doesn't slow down to minimise damage to herself and cassie...#1. she forgets and 2. she doesn't actually realise she's doing it#she has to be told and shown the evidence for her to understand that shes the one doing it#and cassie isn't getting hurt at school or getting up to other stuff without her#eddie: roxy. you've bruised yourself from here to here.#roxy: psh its fine its worth it for cassie!!#eddie: you've bruised cassie too.#roxy: WHAT???? NO I HAVEN'T!!!#she's DEVASTATED nsjsndj#it's not that bad or anything but she's acting like she's fucking stabbed her djjdnd#stops tackling her but she's so focused on not doing that she ends up just vibrating in place dnjdn#Cassie just... tackles her with every ounce of strength in her body#which also bruises cause shes stronk#so now it's a lost cause and they go back to flying tackling eachother instead but with a little pillow to soften the blow lmao#snjdndj oh yeah and roxy could also like#make gifts in return for the get well soon gifts that match what they gave her#for example she gets given a bracelet so she makes a bracelet with Cassie's help in return#someone draws her some stuff and she spends ages drawing something just as good to give them back#except roxy isn't great at any of these things so she's trying so hard#bdkdndid wait what if she ends up with a back and forth with some kids#like pen pals!! but its with the kids of the bus!! and cassie gets to be their messenger!!
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not to be all love is transactional and shit but if you're not putting the same kind of effort into maintaining a friendship/relationship as the other person does then you should leave them the fuck alone actually and stop being a leech who only takes and doesn't give
likewise, if you're the only one putting in all the effort then you need to let that entire thing go because you're still insisting a sinking ship can keep sailing just fine (you are in the water up to your ankles. you will drown. they will never find your remains)
#should i tag this as personal or should i leave it as yet another yapanese lesson idk#in any case babes love isn't a transaction but just like everything in life there needs to be equality#and trust: there is no singular person from billions in this world who is worth enough for you to be a dog#so if they're treating you like a dog kick them away! it doesn't matter how much pain you're in#because you WILL be free to breathe and find worth in yourself and learn a lot of important lessons for the future#but if you stay and allow yourself to be treated like that it will simply never get better. people like that don't get better#they don't want you they want the attention and patience you give them#they don't care if you live or die as long as they can get the benefits from you or anyone else#and tbh? you'll notice people like that complain a lot about the lack of meaningful connections in life - friendships etc#that's because you're an idiot! that's because nobody wuth any decency will stay around#and be treated like that by their sorry ass#so they found someone who will and it's you. you don't mean anything to people like that tbh#and trust it's so much happier when you let yourself seek for better and leave those parasites behind you ❤️
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i'm going to be seeing hadestown apparently, and i can't wait to sob my eyes out like a baby in front of my mom
#caroline talks#when the tragedy. when the tragedy. when. when the love. the love was always there . . . .#you can't change it! you can't do anything to change it!!! but it was there!!!#god. 2021 caroline's taste was so.#i think 2021 was the year i got into both beyond evil + the haunting of hill house + the haunting of bly manor + hadestown#big year for my tragedy enjoying self. a lot of me standing in front of a bulletin board and looking a little insane#like whatever. you're going to rewatch this show you're going to re-read this story you're going to keep doing the same thing#even though you know it's going to end miserably. you know it'll end miserably.#but you'll go through it again because the love was worth it. even if it ended sadly. the love was there and therefore you are willing to#put yourself through it again.#me pointing to mike ross in suits when he says 'even knowing how it all turned out . . . i would still do it again' to harvey#like. themes. narratives.#except harvey and mike. do have a happy resolution themselves#but like. still. something something.#you know there will be grief you know there will be sadness. but the love somehow outshines it all. OR SOMETHING
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dark will always take up immediate issue with those who mock love or emotion as weak i think. irrational at times? sure, he can agree. sensitive, vulnerable? absolutely; inherently, (as a synonym for sincere,) but the moment someone starts legitimately calling love a weakness or an exposed vein only meant to be punctured and drained from, that's when he starts to get angry. dark, as someone who already bears an inherent callousness and apathy, who knows just how easy it is to be cruel, destructive and belligerent, always admires daisuke for the boy's heart and tender, stubborn emotion. like sugisaki's interview mentions, dark is likely someone who bears continuous witness to and understands just how much intense effort can go into someone doing their best in trying to be kind to others; he thinks that he himself never could, at least not even close to the same way that daisuke steadily tries to maintain. those that would mock or scoff at daisuke's, if not the overall idea of kindness, dark won't hesitate to snap at and call weak, pathetic, or cowardly in return. those who prey on others' feelings and scorn or abuse them aren't proving that kindness is a 'weakness;' they're only fouling good things that could have even otherwise been their own with their own 'malicious crap and garbage.'
#*・゚⊰ 𝐎𝐔𝐓 𝐎𝐅 𝐂𝐀𝐑𝐃𝐒. ⊱ ✦ › OUT.#reference.#this can get complicated bc like even if he chews somebody out he probably still won't start fighting them or anything#and there's still the part of him that doesn't really care how people live their lives for themselves#but at the same time. he recognizes that careless part of himself too. unlike daisuke who's always always showing compassion and worrying#for others' feelings and their safety#in the end ppl like this just remind him of krad who's always saying the same thing#emotion is a weakness feelings are a vulnerability so just never have anything ever. don't want anything don't do anything#for yourself. just repress and break and self destruct and let him control/manipulate everything#dark can't staaaaaand that.#it's not the love. it's YOU. anybody who twists and mucks things around. you're the weak one you're the scum#(and again. dark is the responsible one. he's the one who wants to always own up to his own shit)#daisuke isn't weak for his kindnesses because it takes so much -effort-. and he's always trying his best to focus on things important#and to meet them in whatever way he can. daisuke might admire dark for being capable and charismatic. cool and 'reliable'#but what dark doesn't say is how he admires daisuke for being so incredibly strong but still soft and -tender- as well#it's the same perspective as riku- 'he looks kind of wimpy but he's not weak. he always thinks about how he can do his best.'#even if dark can't be daisuke. the things that make himself up. things like love. sincerity. passion. things that make life worth living#dark will get hella defensive of things like that if you push the right buttons.
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hiiii clari 😚 not to be too sad and messy on main but i feel really weird rn 😭😭 i have feelings for a professor and i just failed to turn in a final for him on time because of crazy last minute personal stuff that really made it impossible for me to finish my work and i feel so pathetic about it 😭😭 like i just wanna crawl into a hole bc it’s not a big deal but i hate feeling like im disappointing someone or myself and i cringe at the idea of me being a bad student :// like ive been debating continuing school for a masters but im also someone who runs away when i feel uncomfy and i kinda just never wanna talk to him again bc i don’t like feeling vulnerable. it just sucks bc id rather burn a bridge than confront the fact that i messed up ☹️☹️
hi hi!! <3 aw sweetpea i’m so sorry!!! i actually ended up in a similar situation during my undergrad—there was this PhD graduate student that was teaching one of my courses and i really, really admired him. we had a lot of the same tastes when it came to film + a lot of the same views in general, and he always left such marvellous and thoughtful comments on my papers. fast forward to the very end of the semester, our massive final paper is due and, exactly like you, i end up being unable to finish it on time because of personal reasons. i emailed him to explain—i wasn’t concerned about the late penalties to my grade, but i was so goddamn upset because i valued his opinion of me so much and i didn’t want this incident to soil it. i admitted this to him in my email, and he messaged me back SO SWEETLY, said something like this could never impact his view of me and that he still thought i was a wonderful student, and decided to waive the late penalties for me.
if you haven’t already, i’d definitely suggest sending your prof an email to explain—and be authentic in it. it’s not an excuse, it’s merely an explanation of what happened. i know it’s scary, and i get not wanting to feel vulnerable or look incompetent, but if you can muster up the courage to do so it is often worth it!! you can still keep your issues private (i did), but it definitely doesn’t hurt to explain yourself! and, honestly, i think there’s a good chance your prof might respect you even more if you’re able to open up and admit to your mistake. it demonstrates that you can acknowledge the fact that you messed up and feel remorseful for it, and it also shows how important your work is to you.
i completely understand how you’re feeling and it’s such an awful thing to experience—school was incredibly important to me and to this day still is, so i 100% understand where you’re coming from. but!! also!!! shit happens! you’re only human, and you can’t be perfect all the time. this can be a hard thing for us perfectionists to accept, but the sooner we can swallow that pill and grant ourselves some grace, the better we will feel and the easier it’ll be to do these things.
#i wish i had better advice on how to gather the courage to confront him but alas#i don't rly have any#it kind of feels like one of those things you just have to grit your teeth for and *do it*#because it's worth it and it aligns with your values#+ whatever other reasons are relevant#anyway i'm really sorry you're going through this bb :(( it is such a shitty thing to experience#but!!! you will survive it!!! one paper does NOT determine your worth or intelligence#again; shit happens#work towards accepting that and vow to learn from this experience#and forgive yourself for it!!!#i am sending u so much love and strength sweetpea#good luck!!! <3#inky.bb#clari gets mail
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I love that steve is in dbd because I do not have to give a shit about stranger things itself to get new material of him. I can just explore what his adventures in the entity's realm might be.
#dbd#thoughts about media#funnily enough I was introduced to him THROUGH dbd. and I liked him in dbd first lmao.#and it was only after months of deliberating whether I should bother watching the show did I actually do so.#I suppose it was worth it because mr. keery is just. so beautiful.#but god with every season the show got worse and worse.#it's genuinely more interesting to me to explore his character in the context of dbd.#because like. take it seriously- and it's objectively SUCH a fascinating setting to put a character in.#they are hunted over and over again by serial killers and monsters from many different universes.#they die in so many different ways. and have to watch the people with them die. day in and day out.#ultimately- getting yourself killed to protect your friends doesn't actually have purpose anymore.#not when it could lead to your friend dying anyway. or in an even worse way than you did.#it really transforms the meaning of sacrifice. of death.#so having the steve nancy and jonathan dynamic in this setting is INFINITELY more interesting than whatever the fuck the show is doing rn.#and I have lucy too. my ghOCtface born of my “never harm steve” playstyle.#and THAT. is SO interesting to me. because steve would NEVER normally fall in love with a person like lucy.#but they aren't in a normal place. experiencing anything normal. they're trapped in an endless cycle of killing and dying.#and lucy. lucy WON'T hurt HIM. but they'd still kill anyone else. including nancy.#so steve would hate him. at first. but how do you keep hating someone for killing your friends-#-when you're trapped in a place where death and pain ultimately mean nothing. whereas an act of mercy means everything?#it would be SUCH a complicated dynamic and I deeply enjoy trying to unweave how steve could ever love lucy back.
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I FINALLY MADE THE EXTERNAL HARD DRIVE WORK, FUCK YES
#baldur's gate 3#i love you buddy but you're taking up my entire laptop's worth of space#computers#upgraded the ram and everything for you babe#and now you're downloading yourself onto an ext hdd#life is sweet#but also slow because starfield is simultaneously downloading too
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