#Los Angeles Bucket List | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

buddierecs · 7 months ago

Text

long (40k+ words) buddie fics

all explicit rating - 18+ only!!!! make sure to kudos/comment on these amazing works :)

leading with the left by letmetellyouaboutmyfeels "when buck said he was a "bartender" in "south america" what he actually meant was "stripper" in "mexico." and when eddie said, "what's your problem?" what he actually meant was, "is this about the time you gave me a lap dance?" in other words, there's a few things the 118 doesn't know about buck. Or eddie. Or buck and eddie's relationship." word count: 84k important tags: strangers to lovers, stripper!buck, emotional slow burn, miscommuication your fingerprints smeared on my heart (lead me back to you) by: letmetellyouaboutmyfeels "In 1880, evan buckley of the arriviste set is sent out west to oversee his family's railroad and recover from a broken heart - and meets eddie diaz, cowboy. when fate tears them apart, they make a promise: find each other again. In 2018, buck walks into his fire station in los angeles - and meets eddie diaz, new recruit." word count: 88k important tags: cowboys, soulmates, reincarnation, gilded age, heavy angst

let the world have its way with you by: fleetinghearts "a bucket list that’s really about buck needing to make a change and an eddie who’s ready to do anything to see him fall in love with life again. it takes some crossing off for eddie to realise—the thing at the top of the list in his own heart? it’s been right here all along" word count: 54k important tags: pining, feelings realisation, idiots to lovers, road trips, getting together, eventual smut, gay!eddie diaz good pretender by: likeshipsonthesea "an au where buck broke up with taylor before 5b, ravi and buck become (actually platonic) friends with benefits, and ravi, eddie, and buck all go on a journey of self-discovery that ends with them all getting what they need" word count: 85k important tags: friends with benefits (buckandravi), casual sex, childhood tramua, healing, feelings realisation, jealous!eddie diaz, ptsd, love confessions, anal sex would you lie with me and just forget the world by: colonscopys "eddie diaz is 7, and 13, and 14, and 18, and 34. and he loves, and he loves, and he loves, and he loves, and he loves" word count: 45k important tags: childhood friends to lovers, eddie diaz centric, catholic guilt, angst, happy ending. eddie diaz vs the feelings by: elvensorcess "eddie dives into the mysteries of attraction, romantic love, and asexuality because there's a good chance he's fallen in love with his best friend. aka demisexual!eddie figures out he’s demi and finds the happily ever after he’s been longing for" word count: 62k important tags: demisexual!eddie diaz, idiots in love, sexual tension, frottage, hand jobs, anal sex, soft!buddie, slow burn, top!evan buckley, bottom!eddie diaz courtship behaviours of the southern coastal husbros by: mad_lori "buck and eddie decide to become platonic domestic partners and co-parents. they are 100% super normal about it and absolutely nothing is awakened in them, except a mutual annoyance at being referred to as "husbros." word count: 49k important tags: domestic partners, slow burn, christopher diaz has two dads, friends to lovers, demisexual!eddie diaz, sexuality crisis, first kiss, eventual smut, oral sex objects in the mirror by: sevensoulmates "the voice had always been around, eddie remembers it, like a stream of consciousness that babbled incoherently to the point where eddie just tuned it out. but then the voice started speaking directly to him. conversing like he was a whole person standing right in front of him. like he could see what was happening around eddie. eddie shook his head. no one was talking to him, and eddie most certainly was not talking back. he wouldn’t talk to the boy in his head ever again. there was no boy in his head." word count: 139k important tags: telepathic bond, childhood to canon, slow burn like a dog with a bird at your door by: fleetinghearts "evan “i love you like a dog” buckley has only ever known how to love like, well, a dog, but maybe eddie diaz is the kinda guy to give a flea-bitten mongrel a forever home" word count: 51k important tags: pre-relationship, domestic, love confessions, eventual smut, friends to lovers, protective!evan buckley

when it's you i'm with (everything goes quiet) by: withoutthetiger "eddie can't speak after he and christopher are in an accident, but somehow he asks buck to stay while he recovers. buck can't imagine wanting to be anywhere else, and even in the silence that lingers between them, they both find a way to say everything." word count: 56k important tags: different first meetings au, muteness, intimacy, feeling realisation, friends to lovers, phone sex, blow jobs, rimming, anal sex

the best life is the truth (my best mask is my face) by: letmetellyouaboutmyfeels "the buckleys are celebrating their 50th anniversary, and maddie and buck are both expected to come. to take the heat off maddie, buck impulsively blurts out that he's seeing someone new. obviously, there's only one solution: bring eddie as his fake boyfriend, pretend to be in love with him, and survive the weekend with minimal bloodshed. no problem, except for the, uh. "pretend" part." word count: 43k important tags: fake dating, idiots to lovers, there was only one bed, eventual smut wishing to be the friction by: ipretendtobesane "the straight eddie friends with benefits fic" word count: 97k important tags: friends with benefits, slow burn, hand jobs, blow jobs, rimming, first time, pining, porn with plot

#eddie diaz #evan buckley #buck x eddie #buck x eddie fic #911 abc #911 show #buddie fic #911 fandom #buddie fics #911 fic rec #buddie fic rec #evan buck buckley #buck x eddie fanfics #buck x eddie smut #buddie fanfics #buddie smut #buddie recommendations #buddie recs

207 notes · View notes

mariacallous · 8 months ago

Text

Griffin Dunne has just written a book. He had been meaning to do so for ages. It was one of the items on his bucket list: learn a musical instrument, master Spanish and write his damn memoir. “One down, two to go,” he says, beaming in via video link from his home in upstate New York. The actor and film-maker turns 69 this weekend. He reckons that still leaves him time for the music and Spanish.

Dunne imagined his memoir as a family portrait in the style of David Sedaris’s Me Talk Pretty One Day. He pictured something light on its toes, witty and poignant, a weave of essays and anecdotes. But then the book changed direction, as though it had a will of its own. It went where it wanted and needed to go. He says: “On some level, I knew there was this big subject ahead. And so, as I’m writing the book, I’m thinking: oh, OK, I know where this is going now.” The story leads to the scene of a 40-year-old crime. It revisits the death of Dunne’s younger sister, Dominique, and the grisly murder trial that followed.

I tell Dunne I really like the book, which sounds crass in the circumstances, but is true. While The Friday Afternoon Club is about the death of a loved one, it’s full of light, life and colour. It’s a startling tale of precarious American privilege, spotlighting a family that is blessed and cursed.

Dunne casts himself as the Hollywood prince at its centre, surrounded by famous faces, clamouring to be noticed. He tells how Sean Connery rescued him from the family swimming pool, how Billy Wilder critiqued his childhood pranks and how he roomed with Carrie Fisher before she went off to make Star Wars (“This movie is going to be a fucking disaster,” she said). Dunne was raised among storytellers (his dad and uncle were authors; Joan Didion was his aunt) and he writes with a loose, easy swagger. His memoir is tart, buoyant and playful right up to the moment it’s not.

In the early 1980s, when he was in his 20s, Dunne was hitting his stride as an actor. He had secured his breakout role in 1981’s An American Werewolf in London, playing the undead grad student Jack Goodman, doomed to haunt the adult cinemas of Soho. His 22-year-old sister was also faring well, having co-starred in 1982’s Poltergeist. But, on 30 October 1982, Dominique was strangled by her ex-boyfriend, John Sweeney, and died in hospital five days later. The trial, says Dunne, was outrageous, a farce. Implicitly, it seemed to put the Dunnes in the dock, framing the bereaved family members as frivolous dandies. Sweeney was convicted of manslaughter, but acquitted of murder. He served just three and a half years in prison.

Four decades on, Dunne’s account of events burns with rage. He is furious with the judge who intervened to block crucial evidence. He is furious with the killer’s employers (the Los Angeles restaurant Ma Maison), who stepped in to pay his legal fees. He is furious with Dominique’s then co-star, David Packer, who remained inside the house while Dominique was being attacked outside. “All the old anger got re-stoked,” he says. “I tapped right back into my vengeful side.”

During the trial, Dunne was approached by a mobster who offered to have Sweeney killed. He discussed the idea with his brother, Alex. “At that time, we would have been diagnosed as crazy people,” he says. “I told my brother that we had an opportunity to have the killer dealt with in the county jail. We decided not to kill him, but to mess him up, to have his hands smashed, like we were ordering pizza and choosing different toppings from the menu. And that was just the beginning of our madness; it carried right through. Even writing it down, I thought: I’ve got to let this go, because you can’t live in hate.”

In the end, they did nothing. Dominique’s killer changed his name after being released from prison and is likely still alive today. “I will neither forgive nor forget,” Dunne says. “But I’m not going to let that be the A-story of my sister’s life.”

Dominique was a victim, but that doesn’t make her life tragic. What is clear from the book is that people adored her. She comes across as whip-smart and droll, grounded and private. “She was a serious, substantial person,” he says. “Serious about her acting, her animals, her family. And, actually, rather intimidating, even though she was the youngest of the family.”

Dominique cared for their mother, Ellen, who had multiple sclerosis. She also cared for their father, Dominick, who was bisexual and closeted and yet confided in her. “So she was somebody we were all a bit in awe of. She was always wise beyond her years.”

She sounds like the family’s moral compass. “Yeah,” he says. “But also a bit bossy. She always knew what she wanted. My brother and I were a little fearful of her. It was like she’d been born already built.”

Dunne, by contrast, was a work in progress. In his memoir, he says that his first word was “taxi” and that he was always in a hurry – always running before he could walk. He was expelled from school for smoking pot. He was “coked to the gills” on the night Dominique was attacked. He was bumptious and entitled. His sister’s death changed him, he says, because how on earth could it not?

“For one thing, I never thought about domestic violence, the abuse of women. I grew up in Los Angeles and when I was in high school, pre-Roman Polanski, it was incredibly common for 13- or 14-year-old girls to be dating guys in their 30s. They’d go to these decadent parties in the hills and then come back and tell us all about it. And that was the culture; it felt exciting. I was unaware of what it meant. But then you have my sister, a 22-year-old girl, who finds herself in a domestic violence relationship with someone who’s twice her weight. So everything looked different to me afterwards.”

Perhaps it affected his career as well. In the mid-1980s, Dunne was on the threshold of stardom. He combined the charm and grace of a leading man with the prickly intelligence of a great character actor. The door kept swinging open, but he seemed to keep shutting it. He turned down The Fly and Sex, Lies, and Videotape in favour of making Who’s That Girl, with Madonna, and a reviled comedy, Me and Him, in which he played a yuppie architect who quarrels with his talking penis.

Dunne’s agent accused him of making “self-destructive choices”. He had always craved fame, only to find that it spooked him. “Too much attention at that time was a little fearsome for me,” he says. “I found it very stressful.” He hesitates. “And also my father,” he adds. “That had a lot to do with it, too.”

Dominick is the third main player in The Friday Afternoon Club, a high-flying producer who came to earth with a crash. He would eventually find his voice as a writer. He became Vanity Fair’s star reporter, first covering the Sweeney case, then the OJ Simpson and Claus von Bülow trials. But the in-between years were hard and humiliating. He suffered a reversal of fortune that took the whole family aback.

“I saw my father fail,” Dunne says. “I watched real failure in action in real time. He was a man who had a big house and a beautiful car and a great job and entertained the most famous actors and directors in the world. And everything was taken away from him, partly through his own actions, but nonetheless. People came out of the woodwork, kicked him when he was down.

“They were like: ‘I always hated you, I always knew you were closeted, you’ll never work again, pack your bags.’ And the effect it had on me, just entering the business as he was being destroyed in that business …” He draws a breath. “Well, it had a lot to do with the choices I made.”

In hindsight, the 1985 black comedy After Hours was his fork in the road. It’s also the picture with which he is most identified. Dunne developed the film as a co-producer and convinced Martin Scorsese to direct. He also took the lead role of repressed Paul Hackett, who embarks on a long, dark night of the soul through the streets of Lower Manhattan.

On set, Scorsese made one big stipulation. He ordered Dunne not to have sex for the duration of the shoot. I am gobsmacked by this, but the actor was unfazed. “It made perfect sense to me,” he says. “I knew what he meant. The character had to be boiling over with this unfulfilled anxiety. You had to see …” He pauses. “Not to be crude, but you had to see the semen build up to where it’s practically coming out of his eyes.”

One Saturday night, though, Dunne cracked and broke the rule. The next day of filming, Scorsese spotted the change and went berserk. “You’ve fucked up the whole picture,” he shouted. “I don’t think I can finish it now.”

Dunne says that he was probably being directed here, too. “Because now I’m afraid. I’m terrified. And it turns out that a certain level of fear is the same as not having sex. So [Scorsese’s] second piece of direction is telling me that I’ve ruined his movie. That’s excellent direction. It brought all the old anxiety back.”

It should have been a tough prospect, sitting down to write his book. Emotionally, because it meant revisiting the worst time of his life. Practically, because the Dunne family had already set the bar high. They are all dead now: his dad in 2009; his journalist-screenwriter uncle, John Gregory Dunne, in 2003; Joan Didion in 2021. But their reputations are daunting. It must have felt as though he were writing in the shadow of Mount Rushmore.

Dunne says it wasn’t that way at all. He had always assumed that writing a book would be a lonely endeavour. In fact, it felt warm, intimate and weirdly convivial. “I didn’t feel daunted, trying to write and being related to all these prominent figures. Quite the opposite. I felt their presence. When I described them, it was like I was seeing them again, living with them again. It was like I was back meeting Joan for the first time. It was as though I was spending time with her and John, my father and my sister,” he says. “They were alive to me. When I finished the book, that was the sad part. It felt like I missed them all over again.”

31 notes · View notes

heebiegeebee · 7 days ago

Text

LONG PERSONAL POST AHEAD

What I am about to discuss is likely highly triggering, upsetting, and from what I have seen and read over the years, both in person and online, not the common or universal life-experience.

I am aware that my experiences are quite unique and hyper-specific, but that should not preclude me from being able to openly talk about them, especially on what is the equivalent of a personal blog/journal post.

I am going to preface this with the note that I do not intend to source much of anything beyond what I already have handy (if that, as I am kinda just free-writing as I go, so if I mention something thats relevant and on-hand, I'll add it, but outside of that, either you're already hyper-aware yourself of what I'm talking about, or you can very easily go and verify it yourself if it's something that has "made the news"/can be sourced in actual history books/papers/articles/interviews/etc and not just regurgitated on wikipedia by propagandists) because I have learned that no amount of TURNING YOUR POCKETS OUT will change the mind of someone who has no interest in changing their mind or hearing yours out without desperately waiting for their moment to pounce.

Do it yourself. Or don't. I don't care anymore and I don't care to be silenced for the remainder of my life just to make you, o reader, comfortable.

Anything not mentioned as something sourcable is my own life experience and opinion, and can absolutely change given enough reason and experience to*. Anyone who considers themselves to be a reasonable and educatable human being should be capable of admitting the same. (*the opinions can change, not my personal lived experiences; lenses can change, sure, but the facts and acts cannot, unless you're re-writing history) Names are altered, changed, or in some way obfuscated enough for plausible deniability for use of other names.

I don't know how to "after the cut" something, so this is the final warning. I am not afraid to block a motherfucker, and at this point I welcome another ZiOnIsT bLoCkLiSt if it keeps me from seeing y'all's wildly uninformed and outright antisemitic bullshit takes. Good luck.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

This is gonna be scattered. Maybe I'll rearrange paragraphs or sentences, but my brain is a jumble of pain, and so too will this be.

Husband and I got into yet another political argument last night, and it finally sealed the deal for me. I'm getting the fuck out of here by hook or by crook.

I have been involved in leftist politics since I was in junior high. My very first protest was when I was 12; I protested the Bush administration for its bullshit "war" in the middle east after 9/11. I marched in Los Angeles in the rain banging a bucket drum screaming NO BLOOD FOR OIL and the fight hasn't stopped since. One of my very first political drawings was a daisy (purposefully evoking the daisies peaceniks would slide into the gun barrels of state/gov enforcers in the 60's) where the petals and leaves were bombs. A bit on the nose, sure, but I was a kid! My heart was and very much still is in the right place, so I've been told. Nowadays I'm just angrier about it, and am no longer beholden to the "non-rights" of childhood (CHILDREN HAVE RIGHTS!!! ANYONE WHO SAYS OTHERWISE IS LYING TO CONTROL AND SCARE CHILDREN INTO COMPLIANCE AND THEY ALWAYS WILL BECAUSE IT UNDERMINES THEIR PERCIEVED AUTHORITY OVER SMALL VULNERABLE HUMAN BEINGS)

I never stopped either, it just took different forms as I gained or lost abilities to travel, donate, educate, etc... I won't put everything I've ever done here because 1) that list would be very long, and 2) it would absolutely dox me. TBH, if someone is dead set enough to do it, they could probably dox me off this post, but as I said, I just do. not. care. anymore. There is nothing left for you to take from me now. Pick these bones clean until they sun bleach.

It is for these reasons I feel zero need to defend my leftist beliefs when someone who has known me for almost 15 years now, and credits me with their political stances refining and/or changing in some manner to be far more left/progressive than they were, (including but not limited to them becoming more involved in direct action and education themselves) suddenly throws all that out the window because they don't like having to be on their backfoot when caught unprepared for an argument THEY STARTED and opts to call me a "zionist nationalist" as a gotcha. When I threw on heavy sarcasm and loudly proclaimed "why yes! I, who vehemently opposes borders and check points and governments and thinks people should be able to freely travel and live wherever they choose, and champions land back for history's various displaced or ethnically cleansed minorities, is totally a zionist nationalist! You've found me out!" husband promptly changed course (of course!)

Why not just call me a kike at that point if you're gonna disregard everything you know about me so quickly (and so often??? which you end up backpedaling on when the fight is over???) Because no amount of me saying "I want the Palestinians to be free from both their own/external terrorist orgs masquerading as govs AND the israeli gov so they can't be used as cannon fodder or a get out of jail free card anymore" will change the mind of someone who already has your role carved out for you. (he also took umbrage with me saying the names of specific actors in the israeli gov, but that i wasn't naming individual hamas members and affiliates by name??? meanwhile husband just says "state of israel"; no "the" beforehand, and he does NOT do this with other world govs or countries...???)

I pointed out once again how he's called me a terrorist (for simply saying minorities have the right to defend themselves! NOT ATTACK OFFENSIVELY, but DEFEND themselves! {I was referring specifically to the Black Panthers open-carrying in CA at police stops at the time!}) and now he's using "Zionist" as an attack, which shouldn't matter to him anyway as he considers himself a non-zionist (which is fine! as a jew he has that right!)

But he's upset because I called him a Hamasnik! I explained that I called him that after he defended Aaron Bushnell's antisemitic screeds (the legit ones, not the faked profile) and ignored that even Bushnell's own friends quoted him as saying he was "someone who bounced from one extreme to the other" after getting out of his xtian cult, joining the military, and becoming engrossed in I/P propaganda, to which husband replied by saying "well it's a real shame no one will hear his message now 😔" what, pray tell, is the REAL MESSAGE aaron fucking bushnell has to offer that you CANNOT find anyone better to point to???? Why am I the bad person for doing the due diligence and researching instead of parroting? HUSBAND'S THE ACTUAL GOVERNMENT-FUNDED EDUCATOR, SO WHAT'S HIS FUCKING EXCUSE?! "oh its a real shame hitler was so misunderstood" ass comment... so yeah, HAMASNIK. What fucking else would it be??? YOU ARE DOING THE WORK FOR HAMAS BY PARROTING THE SAME PROPAGANDA! this shouldn't be that hard to grasp!

Husband is so wrapped up in being right or "catching me" that he has completely thrown his own fucking brain out and cannot think through things logically. But sure, I'm the overly emotional one! The fact remains that throughout our relationship, husband has taken every instance to undermine me, undermine the things i know about and have experienced firsthand (don't get me started on his ignoring and downplaying blatant antisemitism and transphobia/biphobia just because he wanted friends!) No wonder he is the way he is, and now that he's converted, this too will be my fault.

AND YES. I am going to say that I fully believe that once someone becomes a jew, THEY ARE A JEW, full-stop! BUT! that does NOT preclude or absolve someone hurting their own ingroup, nor does it mean there are not internal conflicts that arise from these very same stances. We cannot ignore that the individual responsible for writing the Protocols was LITERALLY A CONVERT! Do I think all converts are guilty? FUCK NO. Do I think we should forego conversions and become more insular? NO! but what I DO want to know is what the hell are rabbi's doing to ensure the prospective jews-by-choice have unpacked their internalized (usually some flavour of cultural xtian, though not exclusively) antisemitism? Cuz lemme tell ya, we had another at my synagogue who, once they were official, took that opportunity to tell US we have NO IDEA what it's like to BE A MINORITY, and HAVE YOUR ANCESTORS MURDERED, ENSLAVED, RAPED, DISPLACED, LAND AND WEALTH STOLEN etc because her ancestors were conversos AND WE'RE JUST WHITE PEOPLE.

Like, sorry, did you join a marginalized people to one up them in oppression olympics? Are you assuming everyone's genetic makeup and ancestral background here? WHY ARE YOU ASSUMING EVERYONE HERE IS AND ALWAYS WAS WEALTHY?? Why when I pull you aside to commiserate after I had your back this whole time are you throwing me under the bus, too? Is it the racism? I think it's the racism... (I'm sure I'll elaborate on our congregation's ex-cop, air bnb landlord, born-again-jew-whose-more-jewey-than-the-rest-of-us in the future, but that's for a different time. Fuck her all the same though)

My rabbi is highly respected, both in the US, and abroad, and has physically traveled to report back on the shitty conditions our government has forced migrants and refugees into. He is also someone who I respect for how he spent his youth, as it was very lefty-crustpunk and anti-capitalist. He caries many of those ideals still with him today, but he obviously has to represent an entire congregation, and isn't keen to be tossed out by the very few who swing their money-dicks around because WE. ARE. STRUGGLING. but he's not silent on our morals and virtues by any means... If this guy has already spat out not one, but TWO jews-by-choice who hold antisemitic beliefs, then what the fuck does our future look like? I pointed out to my husband that he joined a PEOPLE. Those people come from somewhere. Those people have longed to return to that somewhere. Those people are fighting to be recognized and respected as a sovereign NATION (meaning PEOPLE), and are being undermined by those who claim to champion those same causes for other marginalized minority groups. Those people are OUR PEOPLE. Why are you undermining US??? Have you literally learned NOTHING in all of your studies? Will you suddenly agree with the new trend of taking the Happy Merchant and other antisemitic caricatures/tropes and saying it's actually really islamophobia and not antisemitism? Is that not supercessionist enough for you at this point? I mean I shouldn't be surprised considering husband smarmily stated so matter-of-factly AT THE BEGINNING OF THIS WAR "well they say the Palestinians are the Jews of the middle east" LIKE WHAT?!?!?!? TELL ME WHAT HAPPENED TO THE ACTUAL JEWS OF THE MIDDLE EAST, YOU FUCKWIT. I mean, talk about adding insult to injury, for fucks sake...

Husband comes at me about the BUND, as if I think or ever alluded to them "deserving death" (?!?!?!) when all I pointed out was THEY TOO specifically undermined their own existence to fight for something (that in a more tolerant and accepting world I would be %1000 on board with -- HERENESS!) that ended up backfiring on them only because they TRUSTED that by minimizing or handing parts of themselves over to appease the masses who continued to view them as other would somehow SAVE THEM. Any victim or survivor of abuse can tell you that it simply doesn't work that way (HINT HINT). It's a noble and a lofty goal; one I truly highly respect... but to ignore facts and think "this time'll be different!" before said society has grappled with its own hatred and internalized biases is beyond a sign of madness, and it does no one any good to pretend otherwise. Do you also believe the south has no more sundown towns? Or that New York doesn't have any of its own? Or that racism doesn't exist in America since Obama was elected those two times? Will a female president finally mean there is no more misogyny? What if women and trans people just subjugated themselves during the Trump presidency? Surely that would save them, because they're not causing a ruckus or bucking the system if they just go along with it, right? Is the trans woman politician currently sitting in... is it the house? Suddenly going to really shake things up in favour of trans people by allowing the House to ban her from the women's restroom? What's the limit in application of the same mentality? Is there one? Why or why not? Explain your answers, and I guarantee you you'll be sounding like Graham Linehan trying to smugly define what a chair is.

Husband did not expect me to pull out the fact that the Palestinian Identity was specifically manufactured to cause chaos and instability in the region, and that their own govs, as well as surrounding islamic govs have gone on the record and admitted the same, usually coupled with the pronouncement and promise to fight and kill and die until either there are no more jews, or no more palestinians (not muslims/the muslim nations, not zionists, not israelis... specifically jews and palestinians... shows you how little they care for palestinian blood if they specifically are so expendable, but no other variety of muslim/islamic nation is! funny that...) He thought this was some sort of gotcha, because even though he acquiesced the fact that an Identity was CREATED specifically to counter another identity, that did not mean they weren't entitled to live in peace and self-govern. WRONG AGAIN! I actually DO think that even though it is made up, sure, give them their own state! He tried to bring up bi-nationalism, but like, even the palestinians have said they don't want that? Do you even listen to the people you pretend to be speaking on behalf of?

It was even funnier (read: MADDENING) to hear him say that Pan-Arabism ISN'T a good thing, and that so many countries having the xtian cross on their flag, or crescents on their flags (denoting the religion of the colonizers, naturally) is BAD, and so too is the Caliphate flags! But hopefully those regimes fall too! But lets ignore the Palestinian flag design, pay no attention to the colonizer behind the curtain! ahhhhh inconvenient truuuuuths whyyyy

I have reached my limit. Mentally, emotionally, spiritually, physically, linguistically... it's all been for naught. It didn't matter that I put my body on the line to defend black lives multiple times, both in official and unofficial capacities. Or got hospitalized in defense of gay marriage in CA. Or have gotten myself permanently on a "random screening" list any time I am forced to travel by air (i have harmed myself specifically to avoid air travel because of this and the sexual harassment I receive from agents as a gender non-conforming person) Or made it to the point where feds show up at my door. It didn't matter that I marched, protested, donated, transported, educated, LISTENED AND LEARNED, etc etc etc. It was and has always been a grift to silence and pull the ladder up after your group "makes it".

Honestly, and I say this as someone who their 3 closest friends for a decade+ are all marginalized/PoC: there is a serious issue amongst the left where we seem to think that racism is falling at the feet of only white people, regardless of what side of the political spectrum they are on.

I also say this as someone who:

grew up feeling safer in non-white spaces than otherwise (nowhere is safe now),

friends growing up, even as I moved counties/states, were almost all overwhelmingly disenfranchised minorities and immigrants/refugees

whose family literally provided solidarity, in word and deed during the Civil Rights movement (both in the south and in CA),

grew up hearing the exact same shit that gets said to poor PoC (i'll never forget my mom's face when a white woman behind her called her a welfare queen in front of us [I was a child, btw... and my mom is legally disabled and my father was in prison at this time])

had family go into sexwork because of what I listed above (and dad wasn't even arrested at this point, we were just that poor, even in JEW HAVEN "EVERYONE'S RICH!" LOS ANGELES)

literally got beaten up/threatened/harassed by both whites and PoC for being JEWISH, both in my childhood (being choked by my teacher for "taking the lords name in vain" in kindergarten! {i actually hadnt, and this isn't even the first instance of antisemitism i experienced!}) AND as an adult in LEFTIST ORGS

The list goes on and on, truthfully. And it fucking HURTS.

What are we going to do?

The ex-cop-landlord-born-again convert said I really helped her humanize sex-workers and johns, then turned around and dismissed any and all life experiences I had because ... "white"?

Multiple LEFTIST orgs, both local and multi-state, both new and well-established from the 70's, doxing me to other orgs because I refused to agree "Jews are white" and have had "no problems in the US for the last 100 years" and "have no culture/language/history of their own", and because I used self-defeating humour in a private group text exchange and "all sarcasm is violence hidden behind language" or whatever (that's also a story for another time)

...

SICA said I can see the future. Multiple times. She wants to be a politician in AZ and has started amassing a following and gets invited to speak in group education "tiktok" seminars! She's also a failed artist and relies on AI to educate her. Her own husband admitted to me she has become antisemitic. I am no longer accepted as "part of the family".

GEL... well, there's too many examples there from housing them on and off for ~5 years. They have zero prospects and won't from me anymore since I've given up on bleeding myself dry for them, but they are charming and absolutely influence people to their side because they appear unassuming and harmless due to their own disabilities and soft-spoken nature. They had to be told not to incorrectly identify a Desert Eagle as a *insert sneer* Jewish gun rather than Israeli. I am no longer accepted as "their chosen family".

ANE said I am the only real punk he's ever met. Multiple times. He's getting a doctorate in History; specifically HOLOCAUST studies, so he too can go and be a professor! He used me to help him through his half-white xtian-adjacent guilt trip as he was visiting death camps in Poland. You're welcome for my universalized jewish pain, as well as my absolution for your guilt because a restaurant nearby served pork! I am no longer worth consideration as a friend, and he used his medication alignment as an excuse to weasel out of the convo. That was 4 months ago.

Husband said I am g-d's conscience personified. Recently. He thought he could "save the DSA" after defending their NYC march where the guy held a swastika up and sieg heiled, and last night said that he could "save me". He no longer believes he can save the DSA, but seems to have turned me into his secret "save their soul" cause... yeah dude, you really unpacked your baggage before jumping into an ethnoreligion you joined for the love of arguments and finally gaining an identity you can acceptably wrap yourself in now since the "queer relationship" label was waaay too much for you to comfortably handle/defend... oop, too bad leftists decided that jews dont count once again!

My own father, who I finally reconnected with after 25 fucking years, is dating (and is engaged to, somewhat) a woman who defended "Zeitgeist: The Movie" as a "truth bomb that everyone needs to see" and "fucking fantastic", and wonders why I have no desire to have either of them in my life anymore. His statement of "I can't control what other people do" : just like you couldn't control your sister trying to forcibly convert your two children via bombardments in the mail of jesus/xtian shit? Or "so everyone who disagrees with you is an enemy?" : motherfucker racism and CONSPIRACY THEORIES FROM THE MIDDLE AGES isn't merely a "disagreement"??? and what's more, he has no idea I volunteer WEEKLY with people who don't believe I should exist, because my goal is to FEED HUNGRY FAMILIES AND CHILDREN SPECIFICALLY, their baggage be DAMNED. The church my synagogue partners with every year for the "free community holiday meal" is FILLED with racists and supercessionists who admit to infiltrating jewish spaces INTENTIONALLY, and describes their children enthusiastically enjoying ribs "like an old black woman" AS THEY ARE SERVING THOSE SAME COMMUNITIES, but no one will listen, so I just do my volunteering because at the end of the day, that's one less hungry person. You wanna talk to me about "enemies", when you used your adjacent-judaism/your actual ethnic background of Sicilian+Algonquin as your ID while you were in prison? WHY ARE YOU UNAWARE OF THE PROBLEMS YOU YOURSELF EXPERIENCED BUT DENY HAPPENING TO YOUR CHILDREN? Just because one attacks with a knife and the other with words that HISTORICALLY become LAW, you think I don't know how to work and live amongst ENEMIES?! You have just as much of a "can't tell me shit" as your GF has.

Adopted family isn't much better either. I have had to swallow the fact that I am INCREDIBLY uncomfortable with someone who uses their position in school systems to send "troubled, unreachable youth" to the beginnings of a carceral life because she gets "police crackers" out of it (for those unaware like I was, apparently cops give out cards that can be "cracked" as a one-time-use thing to get out of a ticket or whatever). She has no idea that I too nearly ended up that way TWICE. Once was for "smoking pot on school grounds" (it wasn't pot, and I admit my gifted-child-fallen-from-grace protected me thanks to one Dean who I had regularly chatted with {I was a weird kid who was just enough out of step with people my own age}, while the 2nd Dean specifically tried to have me expelled BECAUSE of my perceived whiteness, as THIS was the chance to EVEN THE PLAYING FIELD!) and the second time was ABSOLUTELY because of my perceived whiteness when a cop decided not to put me on probation for skipping school. What never entered the convo, at any point, for any of these authority figures was that I was actively being ABUSED AND NEGLECTED, with undiagnosed CPTSD (and possibly some flavour of autism), and had ZERO avenues for expressing myself that didn't somehow get me into trouble, physically assaulted, or thrown into a mental hospital. DOES SHE EVER CONSIDER THATS WHAT SHE'S BARGAINING A SPEEDING TICKET FOR? SOME UNDERSERVED KID'S LIFE???

I can't take it.

What the fuck am I supposed to think when all of you throw me out of your life or downplay your anti-social crimes when I call you on your bullshit then?

I've nothing left to work with here. My leftism means nothing in this country because it will always be tainted with "other". I would rather die surrounded by like-minded strangers in a different country that has a high likelihood of being destroyed if many many people, both in power and not, get their wish. What does that say about the state of where we are as a society? What does that say about the state of where I am?

Does it even matter?

#personal #jumblr #lefting me down :(#leftist hypocrisy #willful ignorance #historical revisionism #too many fucking callouts and tropes and subjects to even begin to list them all #im so fucking tired #schrodinger's whitey #constant rage sadness and pain at this point #it would make sense and be okay if i were the only person this shit affected/effected (yes i am using both specifically)#but i know im not #think before you comment #supercessionism #racism #horseshoe theory #bigots and i-cant-be-racist's get fucking bent

7 notes · View notes

maybankbae · 9 months ago

Text

Valentine’s Day Plans

Word Count: 1,000+

Warnings: Strong Language

AN: Okay what if i said this is my favorite fic I’ve ever written. Maybe it’s because Cal is my cheat lane as well. Happy reading and hope you all enjoy<3

————

February 13th 2019

Daniella Walker. The name that is mainstream as she was making her way into the music scene as what the internet calls their "pop princess."

Daniella first had internet fame how everyone does in the early 2010's, by posting on Youtube. From the age of 16 she started posting covers of her singing different popular songs at the time ranging from Halsey to Ariana Grande. First viral video being her cover of Honeymoon Avenue from the album Yours Truly.

Her life changed at 19 when one of her self produced songs called Speechless dropped and became an overnight sensation. Flying from her home country of London, England to countless radio interviews to her first American Music Awards as an attendee and performer at.

That’s when she met some of her longtime friends in the music industry, 5 Seconds of Summer. She met them because she accidentally bumped into a red haired Micheal as she was coming off stage and they were about to take the stage. The two gushing over much they enjoyed each other’s music.

She was a huge Amnesia fan.

Over the years they continued to keep contact with one another. She was featured on their 3rd album Youngblood on their song Want You Back as backing vocals.

Daniella had also become a regular feature in 5SOS content. As well as being posted on their respective girlfriend’s Instagram’s pretty frequently.

For a little while she was considered a groupie when she went to Bali with them in 2016. Until stan twitter quickly defended her from the trolls on the internet claiming how do they not know her.

She was now 24 standing in line at her favorite local coffee and bagel spot in downtown Los Angeles. The line continued move at a slow pace as she hummed along to the beat in her airpods she been sent the night previous. She was absolutely in love with it. She had a studio session set with Max Martin that she definitely couldn't be late for.

He's worked with artists like Taylor Swift, Kelly Clarkson, Ariana Grande, and Britney Spears.

It's been a dream of hers to work with him and only her 3rd album that is saying she's gotta be doing something right.

She finally approached Bailey, one of the cashiers she had blossomed a friendship from after being a regular here for 4 months.

"Everything bagel with a side of strawberry cream cheese and Iced Americano double shot with light ice and vanilla creamer!" She shouted to the back. "Hey Daniella."

A smile was plastered on her face. "Hey girlfriend! You'll never believe what I've got planned today." She started as she dug in her purse for her card to hand over for her to swipe.

"Please you're literally a pop star. If you told me you were going to meet up with Kim Kardashian I would probably believe you." She stated in her strong jersey accent as she handed the card back.

"No I wish, but on my bucket list though, maybe I could get a discount on those Skims bodysuits I like. Anyways besides the point here, somehow managed to get a studio session with Max Martin! And cherry on top, the guys are showing up with Ryan fucking Tedder.” She said excitedly as she moved off to the side of the line so other people could move.

"See this is what I mean. It's Thursday at nine in the morning and you're going to work with your hot Australian friends and I'm here covered in flour all day while dealing with the bitches in the back and isn't Max Martin that Swedish dude who's written and produced for basically every A list singer." She leaned against the register.

"Yeah it's so exciting is it not. And Alexis you're so talented at making bagels. Hone in on that." She joked making the curly haired blonde roll her eyes in fake annoyance.

“Your accent makes this sound all posh Dani.”

“Oh whatever.”

"Your beautiful everything bagel and iced coffee m'lady." Bailey turned around to the kitchen workers as she handed her two paper bags one full of her favorite little snacks and the other with her bagel.

"Oh my goodness, you didn't have to do th-." She started.

"Oh please shut up yes I did. You're gonna be late with the hot guys.”

“Text me when you can, I'd love to hear all about it." She smiled.

"Will do."

As she was on the highway on the way to the studio her mind was clouded with thoughts some negative some positive, but mostly negative.

Before she knew it she was finding a parking spot and walking into Capitol Records.

Showing security her badge, she looked down at her Apple Watch and cursed, realizing she was going to be late if she didn’t climb the stairs in under 2 minutes. Thank god for her zumba classes she’s been taking.

Once she figured out what studio she was gonna be in for the next 6 hours, she spotted his long hair and glasses talking to Ryan and the four men sat in the couch in the corner. All of them laughing at something on Luke's phone. She knocked bringing their attention to her standing at the door slightly out of breath.

"Daniella! Pleasure to finally meet you." Max said getting up from the comfy chair to give her hug.

"So nice to meet you too. I'm so incredibly excited and I also see you've invited some of my good friends." She stated nudging Ryan's elbow.

"He had a lot of positive things to say about you." He said sitting back down.

"Daniella you probably know them," Ryan gestured to the men sitting on the couch.

"Know them. These guys are basically a second family to me." She joked.

"I hope you don't mind that I decided to bring them along here to hopefully do some live instrumentals for ya." He told her looking at her with a smile.

"Oh my goodness not at all! It actually sounds so cool. I’ve missed these guys." She smiled widely.

Micheal stood up and gave her a brotherly hug. “Have you gotten shorter?” He joked making Daniella give him the bird.

“Haven’t you gotten weirder.”

“Touché.”

Ashton was next, giving her another squeeze and pat on the head.

Then Luke who did their handshake they made up in Bali together, that neither of them forgot even after 4 years.

Finally it was Calum who smiled at her first and then suddenly picked up her up and spun her around in a circle, earning a loud laugh from Daniella and his signature smile that she still got butterflies from.

Even after her 6 years of knowing him, he still makes her blush like a school girl.

“Alright everyone let’s get to work to hear this beautiful voice of hers.” Max stated turning around and facing the recording booth as Daniella walked in and put on her headphones.

Two hours passed as Daniella stood in the recording booth, recording the second verse. She was mumbling the possible verse in the microphone. The song had a Lorde lyricism with Ariana Grande singing vibe.

She and Max had titled the song Selfish. Max and Ryan giving her corrections if needed. Other than the couple comments or corrections from the group she had total artistic freedom and she loved that.

“Could we leave that first half blank of that chorus and I’ll stack some more vocal layers on that run.” Daniella suggested over the noise of the metronome. “Thank you.”

“Yup sounds amazing.”

While Ryan was stacking her vocals, she leaned next to Ashton's drum kit and told him what pace she needed for the chorus.

Calum was fiddling with his bass strings trying to tune them when Daniella walked over. “So what’s your big opinion on it??”

“I think it sounds bloody brilliant.” He said in a Scottish accent.

“Don’t make fun of the Scottish people.”

“You always seem to forget I’m half Scottish and you’re literally British.” He laughed as she hit his tattooed arm slightly.

Max leaned into Micheal's headset, "Okay Mike start from when Daniella comes in at "I used to be cautious about this and stop when the beat drops back down to the acoustic version that we have prepared.”

3 more hours passed as their session ended and Daniella so proud of the song they had made and gotten mastered.

"Alright, could we schedule another one for Friday morning? We’ve got selfish crossed off the list. We could get started on Messier Things as well." Max asked her looking at his calendar.

She nodded with a thumbs up. "That should work with me."

"It was so good to finally see you guys today. What’s new in the wonderful world of 5SOS land." She asked the boys as they were walking to a lunch spot on the less crowded side of LA so the likelihood of them all being noticed and ambushed by paparazzi was a zero percent chance.

“Going on a promo tour for Easier. Thats literally all. New York, LA, Atlanta, and some overseas.” Ashton said laughing.

"Well whatt are you guys doing for the day of love that happens to be tomorrow." She asked wiggling her fingers together.

"Spending time with Sierra." Luke quickly answered with a smile. He loves that woman more than air it seems. But it’s good to see him so happy.

"Crystal wants to go see some new movie." Micheal stated with a raised eyebrows. He probably had no clue but he was with Crystal and thats all he cared about.

“Oo lemme know if you need a dog sitter. I’ll bring Pepper. Y’know she loves Moose and Southy.”

"Probably just a dinner with KayKay." Ashton’s bright smile came up whenever he talked about KayKay.

"Absolutely nothing." Calum said quickly with a slight eye roll. She knew how he felt about Valentine's Day. He hated that day with every fiber in his being.

"We could spend it together Cal, I'm not doing anything either. It can be like old times!" Reminiscing on when they would go their favorite Ramen restaurant in the city and rewatch Criminal Minds at his house whenever they were both free.

As much as only everyone around them knows, they've had a flirty relationship ever since they've met. But what they don’t know is they claim they’re just friends who have occasionally kissed each other, slept in the same bed, and she's worn his clothes more than once but just friends.

But due to them being too awkward to act upon their obvious feelings, they have no official label on whatever they are.

"Ramen on Melrose it is." He laughed making Daniella laugh along with him.

#5sos #luke hemmings #micheal clifford #calum hood #calum hood smut #calum and daniella #cause im a singer #ashton irwin #5sos fanfic #micheal 5sos #calum 5sos #luke 5sos #ashton 5sos

23 notes · View notes

matthewgrantanson · 2 years ago

Photo

Bucket List, Los Angeles -- September 25th, 2022

Etsy

176 notes · View notes

epicbuddieficrecs · 1 year ago

Text

Favorite Buddie Fics (so far!)

Hi 911 fam!

This has been way, waaaaaaay past overdue. The weewoo show got a hold of me last May and, for some reason, I resisted making a fic rec blog about it. I think I was kind of in disbelief that I, a serial long-term monoshipper, had adopted a second new ship in less than a year 😆 But it seems like I'm a sucker for a good Best Friends to Lovers, Found Family, Trauma Bonding vibe!!

I figured I ought to start off this blog with my favourite fics I've read so far. These are the ones that are, to me, the most memorable, that I've already re-read once (or twice!) in the last few months. I absolutely love them!

I'm going to try and start making recs here a bit more often! In the meantime, if you want more fics I've enjoyed, you can have a look at my ao3 bookmarks here. You can also find me on Twitter and Bluesky @/epicficrecs !

I hope you enjoy! Let me know what you think about those fics and what are YOUR all time favourites? 😊

Being Eddie by Daisies_and_Briars/ @cal-daisies-and-briars (Time Travel, Post-Season 6, Getting together | 80K | Teen): When Eddie starts seeing a new therapist, he’s presented with the opportunity to revisit several days from his past and right regrets that still bother him. OR: Eddie goes through the time travel therapy process of the 2009 Canadian TV show Being Erica.

Evan Buckley & The Coma-Verse of Madness by Daisies_and_Briars/ @cal-daisies-and-briars (Coma AU, Multiverse | 58K | Teen): After being struck by lightning on a call, Buck experiences a plethora of alternate realities showing him different directions his life could have taken. Fighting hard to get home, Buck learns what, or who, is important to him in every lifetime.

Your Scars and Your Lonely Heart by Taste_is_Sweet (Sentinels AU, Canon Divergent - Tsunami | 82K | Teen): Clara Williams just wanted to visit Pacific Park during her layover in Los Angeles. She never expected to find a young, exceptional Sentinel dying for lack of a bond. Actually, what she really never expected was a tsunami, or the same Sentinel to save her life. But Clara's a Guide, so now she's on a mission to keep Evan "Buck" Buckley alive until she can get him to Eddie Diaz, the Guide who should have bonded with him, but didn't. Because Clara can't bond with Buck, no matter how much she wants to. There's just one problem: Buck's convinced Eddie doesn't want him, and he might not survive long enough to find out the truth.

let the world have its way with you by fleetinghearts/ @shitouttabuck (Post-Coma AU | 54K | Explicit): or, a bucket list that’s really about buck needing to make a change and an eddie who’s ready to do anything to see him fall in love with life again. it takes some crossing off for eddie to realise—the thing at the top of the list in his own heart? it’s been right here all along

Leave the Light On (I'll Be Coming Home) by HMSLusitania/ @hmslusitania (Canon Divergent, Amnesia AU, Post-Season 5 | 44K | Mature): An accident on a call leaves Buck with custody of Chris after Eddie is... missing presumed. While they navigate their new family circumstances -- and fight to stay together, despite Eddie's parents' best efforts -- a John Doe wakes up in a coma ward with no memory of his own life beyond the knowledge he has a son named Christopher and, somehow, he needs to get home.

Leading with the Left by letmetellyouaboutmyfeels/ @letmetellyouaboutmyfeels (Canon Divergent, Different First Meeting, Stripper Buck | 84K | Explicit): When Buck said he was a "bartender" in "South America" what he actually meant was "stripper" in "Mexico." And when Eddie said, "What's your problem?" what he actually meant was, "Is this about the time you gave me a lap dance?" In other words, there's a few things the 118 doesn't know about Buck. Or Eddie. Or Buck and Eddie's relationship.

for all the haunts and homes of men by euadnes/ @kananjarus (Canon Divergent, Post-Apocalyptic, Station Eleven Crossover | WIP | 9/? | 69K | Mature | Warning: Violence): The year by the old calendar is 2025. Home is gone. Home is a failed rescue mission and an echo of a memory. Home is a lost boy living in a wooden house by the sea. But first, there was a promise. Christopher, when it's safe, I'll take you back to your father. Buck had all but given up on keeping it after the world had died and everyone in it. But just as some oaths refuse to be forgotten, so the same can be said about the endurance of love.

(yes I put a WIP there because it's just that good)

#buck and eddie #911 fox #buck x eddie #buddie #buddie fic #buddie fanfic #buddie fanfiction #911 fic #911 fanfic #911 fanfiction #buddie fic rec #epic buddie fic rec #favorites

56 notes · View notes

kcyars99 · 2 months ago

Text

Happy 87th Birthday to Morgan Freeman

Born | June 1, 1937 in Memphis, Tennessee, USA

Throughout a career spanning five decades and multiple film genres, American actor, producer, and narrator Morgan Freeman has received numerous accolades, including an Academy Award, a Golden Globe Award, and a Screen Actors Guild Award, as well as a nomination for a Tony Award. He has also been awarded the Kennedy Centre Honor in 2008, an AFI Life Achievement Award in 2011, the Cecil B. DeMille Award in 2012, and Screen Actors Guild Life Achievement Award in 2018.

Born in Memphis, Tennessee, Freeman was raised in Mississippi, where he began acting in school plays. He studied theatre arts in Los Angeles and appeared in stage productions in his early career. He rose to fame in the 1970s for his role in the children's television series The Electric Company. Freeman then appeared in the Shakespearean plays Coriolanus and Julius Caesar, the former of which earned him an Obie Award. In 1978, he received a nomination for the Tony Award for Best Featured Actor in a Play for his role as Zeke in the Richard Wesley play The Mighty Gents.

Freeman received the Academy Award for Best Supporting Actor for his performance in Clint Eastwood's sports drama Million Dollar Baby (2004). His other Oscar-nominated roles are in Street Smart (1987), Driving Miss Daisy (1989), The Shawshank Redemption (1994), and Invictus (2009). Other notable roles include Glory (1989), Lean on Me (1989), Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves (1991), Unforgiven (1992), Se7en (1995), Amistad (1997), Gone Baby Gone (2007), and The Bucket List (2007). He also portrayed Lucius Fox in Christopher Nolan's The Dark Knight Trilogy (2005–2012) and starred in the action films Wanted (2008), Red (2010), Oblivion (2013), Now You See Me (2013), and Lucy (2014).

Known for his distinctive voice, he has narrated numerous documentary projects including The Long Way Home (1997), March of the Penguins (2005), Through the Wormhole (2010–2017), The Story of God with Morgan Freeman (2016–2019), Our Universe (2022) and Life on Our Planet (2023). He made his directorial debut with the drama Bopha! (1993). He founded film production company Revelations Entertainment with business partner Lori McCreary in 1996 where he produced numerous projects including CBS political drama Madam Secretary from 2014 to 2019.

#MorganFreeman #MorganFreemanBOTD #BOTD

#morgan freeman #happy birthday

3 notes · View notes

unholyverse · 2 years ago

Text

waterparks // alternative press spring 2023

(full article text under the cut:)

TO THE MOON

With their new album INTELLECTUAL PROPERTY, WATERPARKS are diving deeper than ever before. The result is an exorcism of deep trauma and the sweet afterglow of catharsis.

STORY: Alessandro DeCaro • PHOTOS: Jawn Rocha • Styling: Josh Madden

Between international flights, jet lag and no days off in between, it is a miracle that Awsten Knight isn’t face down in a pile of pillows. For the past two weeks, Knight and his band Waterparks have been head down in a run of massive shows throughout the U.K. supporting British rockers You Me At Six as well as a series of intimate appearances at record stores with some of the band’s most die-hard fans. It was a landmark run for a group who have hit the road relentlessly the past year-and-a-half, with sold-out North American and European headlining tours, a top slot at the 2022 Sad Summer Festival and even a “bucket list” opening slot for My Chemical Romance. Their latest milestone? They played to 10,000 people — their largest show in the U.K. region — at London’s historic Alexandra Palace. Exhaustion should be Knight's baseline, but instead, he's as chipper as ever when he hops on Zoom back home in Los Angeles. There's only one problem. The bandleader has been on vocal rest for days leading up to this very interview.

“Dude, my voice feels so shot,” Knight confesses from his living room couch. “We did 12 performances back to back, then combined with really short cut-up sleep on the flight, 1 just feel, ugh.” Sleep deprivation aside, Knight is almost at a loss for words (not from the vocal rest) but because the experimental pop trio he formed 12 years ago have unlocked another level of fandom where new listeners are still flocking by the droves. “It turns out there are a lot of people [in this world].” Knight quips, referring to his newfound fans. But in reality, global domination doesn’t really seem too far off.

Knight barely has time to slow down. The band are set to release their fifth studio album, INTELLECTUAL PROPERTY (out April 14 via Fueled By Ramen). But the self-professed workaholic has never known any other way. “It's a really hard mentality to shake,” Knight reveals. “When we were a local band, we didn't have any family connections in the music industry, and no one cared, so you had to take on every role. Even though we are not local anymore and get to play arenas with our favorite bands, if I'm not actively doing stuff to push the music, then I don’t know if anyone else will."

In some ways, Knight fears downtime or stillness because that's when he feels like his brain will start to turn on him. He admittedly functions better when he's working on something creative, whether that’s writing a new song or simply designing streetwear for his clothing brand hii-def. “It's not necessarily the most healthy thing in the long run, but people have worse coping mechanisms,” he laughs nervously.

But Waterparks remain his main focus. The trio, which initially formed in 2011, began to truly put the pieces together the following year when Knight enlisted his now-best friends, guitarist Geoff Wigington and drummer Otto Wood, to round out the lineup. “Otto loved classic rock and bands like La Dispute and Touché Amoré, whereas Geoff was all about EDM," Knight recalls. “We all had different tastes, but at the core of it, it's guitar and drums.” Their individual musical backgrounds helped craft the genre-less sound they have now cultivated.

"THE BIGGEST REASON I didn’t want that pop-punk label is that I know exactly what we are capable of." - AWSTEN KNIGHT

It wasn't until 2016 when Waterparks finally released their debut album, Double Dare — an intentional choice. “I always felt like if no one was looking at us, why put out a large body of work? I wanted to do cool shit as opposed to oversaturating and waiting until enough people [actually] wanted to hear it.” There is a common adage that you have your entire life to write your first record and six months to write your second, to which Knight agrees, and from there, the band began making records like clockwork.

With those albums came carefully curated eras — a moment in time with a clear aesthetic, theme and overall mission statement. While always writing music from a subversive and experimental perspective, it was when the band released both FANDOM (2019) and Greatest Hits (2021) that they began to stray from the confinement of genre and inaccurate labels. Knight himself spoke out vehemently about being boxed in by the term “pop punk. “I learned [during that time that] you can’t control everybody, and you can only frame the narrative so much,” Knight explains. “Obviously, we grew up loving and still loving blink-182, Green Day, Sum 41 and Good Charlotte, so it’s in our DNA to a degree, but I just don't want that label because it’s so synonymous with the past and what cynical dickheads or mega naysayers say is just for preteens and kids. However, the biggest reason I didn’t want that label is that I know [exactly] what we are capable of and what our output is.”

Take, for example, the breakbeat madness of the FANDOM single “Turbulent” or the distorted experimentation of “Numb” from Greatest Hits. Nothing is off the table for Waterparks. The group join a cohort of other trailblazing acts like Bring Me the Horizon and Paramore, who both successfully pivoted away from the late Warped Tour circuit in favor of mainstream appeal without losing any substance. “There's a song for everybody, and I once tweeted that anyone who doesn't like Waterparks just doesn't like Waterparks yet,” Knight says confidently.

If you have yet to be on board with the band's music, you've at the very least been entertained by — or seen — Knight's fiery social media presence.

It's undeniable that Waterparks’ meteoric rise has stemmed from the bandleader’s unofficial side hustle as a social media celebrity. And at times, his online presence can feel truly monolithic in scale, something Knight has attempted to analyze over the years in many songs, including the aptly titled “You'd Be Paranoid Too (If Everyone Was Out To Get You)" When asked if his status as an extremely online figure has influenced the band’s latest album, INTELLECTUAL PROPERTY, Knight isn't entirely sure but reveals that he has had to set boundaries nonetheless, as someone who's regularly met with constant praise and vicious internet trolls. “I try not to let it influence things too much [lately], and with therapy, I've learned that you can only control yourself. However, that doesn’t mean I'm not still vulnerable in the music that I write.”

He tackles the subject on INTELLECTUAL PROPERTY with closer "A NIGHT OUT ON EARTH" and parts of the song “RITUAL,” where he recalls when he felt things were “caving in" around him due to the pressures of constant attention. “There are people who listen to Waterparks who aren't on Twitter. and then there are those who view the band in this bubble where it's just them and the people who reply to the tweets,” Knight resigns.

But beyond the topic of social media, Knight gets admittedly “introspective” on the record. When asked to discuss the overall lyrical themes and concepts behind INTELLECTUAL PROPERTY, he takes a deep breath and delivers a warning: Things might get a little turbulent.

“There is a love story throughout the record that is expressive to and for other people, but the album itself has to do with overcoming, unlearning and growing past religious guilt,” Knight explains. “It's something that I've struggled with for a long time.” On “FUNERAL GREY," he delivers the punchy line “baptized in my spit,” which is a playful twist on a weighted subject. The theme of religious guilt doesn’t just apply to the overall lyrics of the record but also extends to the album's striking cover art, which at first glance appears to be an image of a blue frog over a red backdrop; in actuality, it possesses a much more poignant meaning.

“Frogs have always been one of my favorite animals,” Knight reflects. “However, when I learned that frogs were seen as dirty and unclean in a biblical context, it was interesting to me that something that I saw as so good, natural and beautiful could also be seen as a bad thing through a biblical lens.” In other words, the concept of shame plagued the charismatic bandleader for as long as he can remember, and INTELLECTUAL PROPERTY was the moment for Knight to finally face his trauma head-on and “come to terms with himself” once and for all. That explains why a majority of the new songs possess “hypersexualized” energy — a conscious rebellion against a conservative past. “Growing up in church, you're taught that everything is so wrong and bad. I always felt like shit, so [this album] is the breakaway from that specifically.”

By overcoming his religious guilt, Knight was able to tap into an evolved sense of self-worth that he’s since applied to his very own love life, which he details on the album's stripped-down ballad “CLOSER.” “My concept of love has changed throughout the years, and that song is about [looking at the past] and realizing that when I was younger, it was maybe more of an obsession. Now I'm taking it apart and learning more about love and the way I present the current version of myself to other people.” Inversely, there is the alt-radio-ready anthem “BRAINWASHED,” where Knight admits that he still wrestles with the idea of true love, constantly making sure that he’s not just wrapped up in the “honeymoon phase.” Knight jokes that this track and “FUCK ABOUT IT” which features a guest vocal spot from blackbear, are “polar opposites,” as the latter couldn't be further from the “hyperfixation” he details in “BRAINWASHED.," once again proving that he feels the most comfortable when inserting juxtaposition wherever he can.

"I've learned that you can ONLY CONTROL YOURSELF. However, that doesn’t mean I'm not still vulnerable in the music that I write." - AWSTEN KNIGHT

Beyond the emotional clarity that Knight gained during the creation of INTELLECTUAL PROPERTY, it's the album's sonic risks and exploration that he is the most fired up about. Though Knight wanted the band to return to their more guitar-driven and organic roots for certain parts of the LP, much of the record ventures into eclectic territory, with hyperpop, trap, synthwave and even subtle elements of hard rock and nu metal. “RITUAL, ‘A NIGHT OUT ON EARTH, ‘REAL SUPER DARK’ and ‘ST*RFUCKER' are the craziest instrumentals we have done ever,” Knight exclaims. “I love the idea of taking something like a guitar or my voice and making it sound entirely like something else” “A NIGHT OUT ON EARTH,” however, is what Knight describes as “the biggest production flex,” and it most definitely shows. “There's fucking elephant sounds in there and weird Batman villain-sounding horns — it's evil and heavy, and not to mention, the outro is just game over,” he says.

Beyond production, Knight pushes his voice and stretches the idea of what constitutes a strong hook on INTELLECTUAL PROPERTY. With “END OF THE WATER (FEEL),” Knight is at his most “bombastic,” in a “cartoon-like” state, weaving falsetto melodies that are meant to shock. “I always make a mental note when I hear a song that makes me go…" He pauses, imitating an explosion. “For me, that's when I hear some high-ass vocals that I'm not expecting.” Even on the first day of demoing “END OF THE WATER (FEEL)” in his home studio, Knight was already so confident in the song that he called longtime producer and collaborator Zakk Cervini and “essentially” forced him to come over to his house right then to help finish it. “I also want the record to show that I had a mustache [during this time], too,” Knight laughs.

With collaboration on the brain, Knight is the first to admit that for many years, he was precious about his art and was hesitant to work with others. However, during the COVID-19 pandemic and quarantine, Knight changed his mind, which was evident on Waterparks’ previous album, Greatest Hits. This time around, Knight, who's an outspoken fan of the U.K. boy band One Direction, finally got a chance to live out one of his dreams by working with esteemed songwriter Julian Bunetta, who co-wrote beloved One Direction classics like “Olivia,” “Infinity” and “Best Song Ever,” among others. “I flew to [Julian's] place in Nashville, and we ended up making five songs together, two of them being ‘FUNERAL GREY" and ‘BRAINWASHED,” Knight recalls. And while he still plans to keep the majority of his music close to his chest long term, he won't rule anything out. Knight would undoubtedly jump at the chance to work with everyone from Post Malone and Damon Albarn to Donald Glover and Toby Keith.

"I'd rather make the coolest f*cking thing, RATHER THAN HOLD BACK and make something that wasn't that good." -AWSTEN KNIGHT

Now, with the band's new LP incoming, there raises the question: Does Knight feel a sense of relief after both exorcising his deepest traumas and inviting listeners on his journey to self- discovery? "I still feel pressure with it," Knight concedes. “It would be a lot easier if only strangers heard this, but everyone in my whole fucking life is going to hear this album, so that's what makes it strange." But he's never let any awkwardness or controversy hinder the artistic output. "I wasn't not in trouble when I put out a song like [2018's] 'TANTRUM' where I listed a bunch of dudes I wanted to kill, calling out by name," Knight acknowledges. Though his lyrical choices have sometimes resulted in strong reactions, even within his close circle of friends, Knight can't help but accept that he is meant to be unapologetic. "At the end of the day, I'd rather make the coolest fucking thing, rather than hold back and make something that wasn't that good."

Pressures of lyrical vulnerability and transparency aside, INTELLECTUAL PROPERTY is Knight's attempt to "normalize” the catharsis he finds within songwriting, which ties into the album title itself. "Intellectual property is the mental space you give to something in your head. The 'property' may be the thing that you are struggling with. By materializing it and giving it its own world, it's actually a great way to express it and then, eventually, expel it,” he explains. "I want this album to go to the fucking moon." ALT

#whoever designed the page layout for this. i don't like you #waterparks #awsten knight #otto wood #geoff wigington #i.zip

114 notes · View notes