#Looooong post

[waywardsunlight]

I think Luz's trauma due to being an abuse victim gets ignored a lot in favor of other characters. Luz has an odd role in the fandom as this character who other characters rely on, or who isn't an abuse victim but is supportive of her friends who are, and I think that ends up missing a huge part of her story.

Belos compliments her a lot, which is partially because he wants to reach out to her and mostly because he thinks he can manipulate her. He does some backhanded compliments, telling her she's improved but she still has work to do to catch up to him. He also thanks her quite a few times. The way he thanks her intentionally triggers her guilt, especially when he thanks her for helping him with Hunter. He also compliments her to put other people down, like when he tells her she's "better than this" (implying their race makes them morally superior).

He also uses the same manipulation tactic on Luz that he does on Hunter, although it doesn't work as well on her. He tries to remove his own agency for his physical violence by blaming the Curse. The biggest example is in King's Tide, when he pretends he can't hear her as he's racing after her to try and kill her. He ends up cutting her face while pretending to be out of control and then in the same sequence has full control and clarity to talk to Hunter and the Collector. He gaslights Luz by trying to make it seem like it was The Curse causing him to act in the way he did.

He refers to Luz as "crazy" to invalidate her emotions and harming Hunter in front of her also is a form of abuse. He's obviously aware that hurting Hunter traumatizes Luz (and everyone else) but as his focus transfers from Hunter to Luz in Hollow Mind, he starts targeting her specifically by harming Hunter to hurt her (especially in TTT). Belos shifts the blame for events from himself to Luz and also attempts to make her feel guilty. Hunter seems to understand that Luz is also being abused and tries to reassure her that Belos is an abuser and she shouldn't take what he says at face value. Luz ends up taking that advice to heart after she's able to forgive herself and face Belos. She doesn't speak to him but is able to hear his manipulation tactics and just. stare at him bc he's full of bullshit.

Just because he 'only' hits her a few times and isn't her guardian doesn't mean he can't abuse her or that he didn't. It's not really a protagonist-antagonist relationship as much as it is "adult man nuking 14 year old repeatedly until she becomes god and kills him". The idea that child abuse can only come from parents and not role models or other adults in your life is odd, because he distinctly holds a position of power over her (literally an Emperor and an adult who intentionally isolates her and the other kids alone to abuse them) and uses it to emotionally and physically harm her.

Papa Titan has to reassure her that she's okay to kill Belos because he's literally a serial killer who's lying about his intentions. Luz still slightly falls for Belos's sympathetic line until that moment because he very intentionally tried to get her to feel bad for him and also feel guilt about herself.

This is also why I really detest any fandom takes where Belos canonically is supposed to care about her, or Luz owes him anything. Manipulation is not sympathetic. Belos committed premeditated murder and then used the remains of his murder victim to try to make a "Better Version" of his murder victim which was actually just a way to punish him repeatedly and keep taking out revenge on kids who had nothing to do with the original conflict. Belos is Luz's abuser also, and Luz doesn't owe him any sort of kindness or consideration and her anger is valid.

Luz is an abuse victim of Belos's in addition to Hunter and the Collector (and Vee/Lilith by extension), and she should be considered as such rather than her trauma being invalidated in favor of other characters.

[sallymew4]

hi guys

(forever) wips below are: scene redraw (that i actually started on way before posting mobsai here. crazy !), and teru in an outfit i saw at the mall once (denim dress. dress made of NOTHING but denim. it caught me off-guard but i think i was just being too harsh <3 he was going to wear those galaxy leggings all middle schoolers wear with it as well)

originally this post was just gonna be me posting pretty old wips that i never finished cuz ive been sick (i actually feel way better now tho) and lazy but then i started perusing some more of my older mobsai doodles and unfinished arts and decided to post those alongside the ones above :) i just think its fun to see how my art has developed grown and changed over a period of time, especially with the designs of these characters

if ur interested in lookin at suma those vv

thunder claps welcome

reminder and warning that a lot of these were me still kind of figuring out how to draw them so they will NOT be beautiful picasso

i think this was the first digital mob i ever drew..... he was born august of last year..wow

i was incredibly weak for father reigen if you couldn't tell [sarcasm]

i also didnt know how his suit worked. lol

soryr i was mean 2o u serizwaw sir. anwyays

various ritus (ft teru) vv i made him very hateful because i thought it was funny

v v supa unfinished (obviously) pre-mob teru stuff, just hanging out by roof railing

and then there was a looot of what might be my favorite genre of these, which were just goofy little scribbles

that last one i made in the middle of watching the last episode. i promptly teared up in the bathroom after finishing it

anyways thats pretty much it, for digital anyways :) i like looking back on art, cuz then im like "oh wow, improvement IS real" (i always forget). ill try drawin some moar stuff 4or yalls, i already gots sumthn in the works. oka bye thank you for looking !!11!

[samssims]

Hi Sam! I was wondering if I could ask for some advice on how to make simblr fun again? I love storytelling (it's how I have fun with the game) but lately with writing posts and even in game, I just find myself stressing over if it's good/interesting enough or if I took good screenshots, if my writing is good, etc. I love this game and sharing my stories with this community, so it sucks to feel like this. Thank you sm ♥

Oh Nonny, how I feel this pain. I wish I had a sure fire answer to this but sadly there isn't just one thing that will work.

I will put some advice below for some things that have worked for me in my experience if you're interested in trying them out to try to find that spark again!

Now I have been on tumblr sharing my sims since 2013 so I have seen the community change a lot. Things change, people come and go, it's just the natural way of things. So a lot of the time your community can change around you and so a few years ago sims storytelling was really popular and it was the thing everyone was doing. And I mean everyone.

But now things have sort of fallen off or shifted and there is no shame in that for those who moved onto other things and hobbies. Sims storytelling, at it's core, is a hobby. No one is making money off of it (unless you write it all down and get it published in which case, hell yeah go you!)

That being said, finding your spark again is going to be finding what YOU like about storytelling in the sims.

So here are some tips you can try out in the game to keep it fresh and exciting:

Play the Game

The game has changed a lot and added a lot. It came out in 2014. It's about to be 10 years old. With expansions still being added. Honestly having a family where you can just play through what the game offers you can offer inspiration on how to use in game things for story related things later on.

I have found having a lowkey gameplay (for yourself or even for your blog if you are posting) is an easy way to stay active in the community while keeping things low stakes and casual for yourself while you work on finding your spark again.

Change Up your Post Style

Idk about you Nonny, but nothing gets me less motivated than having to edit photos. If I could just point, shoot, and post, I would have content coming out my ears. Which is what I started doing with my Princess Legacy. All I do is crop it. I add some things here and there but really it's all pretty much easy.

Now I have done it all.

Prose on photos.

Prose under photos:

Icons Only:

Gameplay Only:

And finally just cropped:

Now what is the best? That is personal preference especially for the project you are doing. However I have definitely discovered the crop method to be SUPER helpful.

It makes me not have to worry about the whole photo. Sometimes I have this SUPER awesome detail in the back of a photo but when I crop them I lose all that. Which is not good for storytelling lets be honest but does force me to focus on what is actually important in the shot.

Example: Here is the full cottage photo from above You can see that I cropped out a lot of the cottage in favor of being able to see the deer and swans as i thought that was more a cozy fairytale vibe than just the cottage itself. I lost a lot of this detail yet the point still came across.

TBH the paired crop photos also makes me cut out a lot of access photos if they don't have a pair. It's sort of made me realize how much I don't need to take screenshots of. Though I am definitely an overtaker of photos so I always have plenty to choose from. Sometimes I even queue them then look back and realize they aren't needed and delete. It's humbled me a bit.

I could break down every one of these posting styles but that's a whole other thing you didn't ask about.

TLDR of this section is to experiment with how you post. You can have a lot of fun with that.

If Something is Boring, Skip it.

Do you hate the infant stage? Age them past it. Do you hate the winter months in game? Set seasons to never have winter. Do you hate in game holidays ruining your plans? Delete them all from your calendar. Is it a crucial part to your story? Not anymore. Write around it. Or find some creative angles and dialogue to write over it.

Make the game fit you!

Follow the Inspo

Have inspiration to make a new sim in CAS? Do it! Want to make a whole new save? Have an idea for one scene that could start a whole story but you have nothing else for it? DO IT!!!

The game is supposed to be fun. If you have inspiration for a project, live in it. Have fun with it.

But Sam, what if only lasts 2 weeks and I never touch it again?

Me too, babes. Happens to me all the time. Own it. Keep it around in case you want to mess with it later. Have 10 million saves. It's your life and if it brings you a moment of joy to work on it, then it totally is worth it.

If you want to be like me: Be chaotic and post it too. Then private the posts later when you decide to never touch it again. Never delete tho. I always tend to regret deleted things.

Find Your Community

You should ultimately write and create for yourself, but find others who are doing it too! Lift them up as well! Use one day a week on your blog to give reblogs or shoutouts to your fellow creators and writers! It's all about lifting each other up and making friends who all have the same hobby as us.

Try New Challenges

A lot of my sims storytelling started from inspiration around legacy challenges. I loved to take challenge rules and figure out how to make a story around them. But remember: Rules are made to be broken. Especially in favor of a good story.

If you are working on a current challenge/story, find another to merge with it or to give yourself a heck of a fun plot twist. There are no rules!

Have Fun!

This is sort of the whole crux of it, right? And if you're not having fun then...

Take a Break

You are not beholden to your queue! Let it die out! Disappear for 6 months. Return when you want. Go play Animal Crossing or BG3 or whatever it is at the moment. Sims is a hobby. But it does not have to be your ONLY hobby. Let your brain rest.

In my case, whenever I leave the sims I am always filled with ideas and ready to come back in like 3 days.

This could also mean take a break from your save too. Maybe spend some time in CAS. Or in build mode. Or cleaning out your mods. You can still do sims things while letting your story brain rest.

TLDR:

There is no right answer for this, Nonny. I promise your photos are all gorgeous and your story is wonderful! But creativity like anything ebbs and flows so give yourself that grace to let yourself rest and just enjoy the game again, or enjoy time away from it! You deserve it you superstar creator!

[purplecyborgnewt]

“Great work, Cisco.“

“Oh, well. Takes a village. But every village needs a genius, and that’s me, so thaaank youuu.“

[mossbed-roots]

LU has me by the throat again, I'm working on some drabbles right now to figure voices out but heres an au idea i NEED to get out regardless if i ever make fic/art for it

modern LU ghost hunter au inspired by the "Wind sees ghosts" tag ans the vibes of 111 Winchester

Most Links have had a brush with a "spirit world" in some way or another so i feel like this is a hobby that could bring them together. everyone brings something different to the table

Wind sees ghosts (duh), has pretty much all his life. So does Spirit cause they're like cousins or smth. Wind wants to do an investigation on a creepy old house with lots of reported activity (shit's like haunted haunted, almost no one has been able to go inside). He figures he needs a team on this one and puts out a call on a paranormal forum he frequents. you'll never guess who responds

Four is haunted by the Colors as spirits that have attached themselves to him. They are relatively harmless, though they're kinda stuck to his soul and no one's sure how to feel about this. As far as he knows he's the only one who can see or hear them. they can posses Four one at a time but he really does not like suddenly not existing in his own body. Four's not much of a ghost hunter but he does know plenty about using metals and tools to dispatch evil spirits. He's in this mostly for answers about his own haunting

Legend and Hyrule are long-distance friends and the only ones to know each other before the investigation. Magic exists in this setting, but is not widely practiced, and Hyrule is VERY well-versed in magic (im calling magic practitioners "witches". Wild is one too) Rulie's very sensitive to dark and light energies, and has honed sigil and casting skills. Legend is on the more physical side of things, wielding artifacts and cursed objects from his large collection of...stuff. He's been cursed more than a few times himself. Legend also supplies some goofy ghost hunt equipment, but Twi has most of that covered

Twilight can step into the spirit world with Midna's help, where his spirit often takes the form of a wolf to protect him. He's got a sense for dark energies and can directly confront these malevolent creatures where others might have trouble perceiving them. Aside from that hes the camera guy. He brings the flashlights, the recorders, any equipment he can carry.

Wild is their Guy In The Chair bc he insists they need someone on the outside. I've decided his presence determines whether they get the Good or Bad ending

so turns out this place is like BAD haunted and oh no! Once the boys go in they can't find a way out

the house is a nexus, drawing in as many souls as it can and just feeding on them. There's also probably demons too but like the place itself is imbued with bad evil energy. Time and Wars are here but they are ghosts, drawn in and trapped for longer than they can remember. They are pretty much the only friendly ones here

Twilight finds Sky trapped in the Spirit World side of the house. think like he entered a Silent Realm and couldn't get out. Twi is able to pull him out bc of his weird dark world shit (on the outside Sky has been a missing person for months)

That's uh enough for now I think. enough of an outline for me to come back to. i am very normal about this fledgling idea

[seherstudies]

amazarashi 　ベストアルバム『メッセジーボトル』

Note: I recently go amazarashi's メッセジーボトル and from what I understood, every album of the band is accompanied with a short message inside the case. This is my very scuffed translation of the one in メッセジーボトル. It was a huge challenge for me because I suck at translating (poetry)... If there are some mistakes or if you think I misunderstood something, please let me know!

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

終わりから始まった僕らに　怖いものなんて何もなかった 旅路に宛はなく　ここじゃないどこかを探す 雨風にたゆたう　波間にメッセじーボトル

For us, who began at the end, there was nothing that could fright us. This journey has no end goal. We were simply looking for a somewhere that is not here. Messages in a bottle amidst the waves, drifting in rain and wind.

恒久的な欠落を　埋めようともがくあの日の覚悟。 あれから七年後　ようやく辿り着いたこの岸辺へと 正解でも　間違いでも　それがわ��るのはどうせ未来。 そう言って託した未来に今立って　結局言えることなんて何一つなくて

There was a resolve on that one day, to try to fill up the permanent void. Seven years after that, I finally find myself at the shore. Whether it is right or wrong, only time will tell. But standing now in the future that I was entrusted with, there is nothing I can say in the end.

吐き出す度に磨り減り　抗う度に傷つき けど、それ故の気付き　書き留めるだけの日々 空白を埋める生き死に　手を差し伸べてくれた導き 手放した分の重み　背負い歩き続ける意味

I vomited and became worn out. I resisted things and got injured. But a realisation led me to write down messages day after day. For them, to act as a guidance that reach out to the living and dying to fill their void. Messages about the meaning of continuing with heavy burdens on your shoulders and about letting them go.

何か変わると信じて託した言葉　音の間。 過去から見れば　今日の僕が合わせるつじつま 五分四十秒答え合わせ　過ぎた時間こそ笑え 「間違ってなかった」という為の今日だ

When things change, believe in the words that were entrusted to you through the music. Judging prom the past, the you of today is just fine. You may have taken five minutes and forty seconds to compare your answers your journey has brought, but just laugh at the time that has passed. Today is the day to say, "I wasn't wrong."

逃げ道でもない　感傷でもない　凍る夜に　縋り付ける温み そういう記憶だけを思い出と呼んで　還らぬと決めたらまた旅路へ戻れ 今日だってどうせやまない雨　運命と呼ばれる全てを疑え 降らば降れと天を睨みつけ　どうか光へ進め

These words are not meant to be an escape route nor a sentimentality, but a warmth that embraces the freezing night. Call on memories like these only. If you decide to not return to your old self, then once again commence your journey. Even if it keeps raining today, doubt everything called fate. "Rain! If you must fall, fall!" glare at the sky and continue forward to the light.

Below are grammar and vocab notes.

【GRAMMAR】

Nだって: 'even'; the more casual version of でも Difference between でも and さえ: the first one is for adequate examples while さえ; for more info, this post is great

VようとV: 'in an attempt to do'; for more info about ～ようと～ check out and again, for more info, have this post

Aから見れば: 'If you look at it from A's point of view'; if A is a person, it expresses a judgment or estimation from that person's point of view. It A is a state or situation, it expresses a judgement based on that situation

あ- Stem + ば: ～らば means なら, except that it's an old pattern. Nowadays it's mostly used in very stilted speech and implies "Let it go" or "I don't care". Two common expressions are:

死なば死ね: Let them die if necessary; I don't mind if they/you/I die

笑わば笑え: If they laugh at me, let them do so (I don't care)

【VOCABULARY】

旅路 （たびじ）– route you travel on 宛 （あて）– recipient of a letter or gift たゆたう - to drift about 波間（なみま）- interval between the waves, gap between waves

恒久的 （こうきゅうてき）– permanent, perpetual, lasting 欠落（けつらく） - missing, lacking 埋める (うめる) to bury (e.g. in the ground); to fill up (e.g. audience fills a hall) もがく – to struggle 覚悟 （かくご）– readiness, preparedness 辿り着く （たどりつく）- to arrive at (after a struggle), to finally reach, to find one's way to, to finally hit on (e.g. an idea) 岸辺（きしべ）- shore 託す （たくす）- to have someone deliver (a message, parcel, etc.), to send (through someone), to leave (a message) with someone

吐き出す（はきだす） – to vomit, to spit out 磨り減る （すりへる）- to be worn down, to be reduced 抗う （あらがう）- to go against, to fight against, to oppose, to resist, to deny 傷つく （きずつく）- to be wounded, to get injured; to get hurt feelings それ故（それゆえ） – therefore, for that reason, so, because of that 書き留める （かきとめる）– to write down 空白 （くうはく）– blank space (in documents)；Lack of a part of a continuing thing 生き死に （いきしに）– life and death; life or death 差し伸べる （さしのべる）– to hold out, to extend (one’s hands), to stretch 導く （みちびく）– to guide, to lead, to show the way 手放す （てばなす）– to let go of, to release; to part with eg a posession, person 背負う（せおう）– to carry on one’s back; to be burdened with 辻褄を合わせる（つじつまをあわせる）- make sense. match the logic.

逃げ道 （にげみち）– no way out 感傷 （かんしょう）– sentiment, sentimentality 縋り付く （すがりつく）– to cling to, to embrace 記憶 （きおく）– memorz, recollection; memory 還る （かえる）– to return, to return back to earth 疑う（うたがう）- to doubt, to distrust() 睨みつける（にらみつける）- to scowl at, to glare at

[wprowers]

i want to talk about sonic boom characters.

Long post warning.

First of all i would like to say that i really enjoy sonic boom !! I think it has a really healthy and silly humor that for me it's always welcome, so i like this show and its characters. But don't take my opinion as something biased bc i don't really think it is, i can't be biased towards a piece of media that holds little to no value to the true canon mainline games.

I have seen people dragging this show to hell, and at the time it came out it recieved a LOT of criticism for VALID reasons, valid when it comes to comparing them to the actual canon personalities of these characters (which varies from media to media but its mostly the same concept, but you can't say they haven't fucked up in the characterization of certain characters in mainline games but thats for another day).

But neither sonic or amy or tails or whoever in boom actually have any meaning at all, do they have a backstory? a purpose? any serious fight? is eggman even their enemy? Absolutely not!!

BECAUSE THIS SHOW IS NOT MEANT TO TAKEN SERIOUSLY !!

If we are talking about knuckles, he is not smart !! he doesn't have a life mission to protect the emerald !! There's nothing going on for him !! he doesn't even remember anything, in one episode he suddenly realized he didn't have a family and started to look for one, getting manipulated into an "evil" complot and that's he most arc he has ever gotten in boom (found family trope at the end of the ep, rlly cute)

And i did see some worries about the franchise being influenced by the boom! characterization. Mostly for knuckles and amy.

As for knuckles i think that some of you watched the scu shortfilm and immediately thought that they were bringing boom!knux into the mix, i disagree wholeheartedly with this (if s3 comes out and it is like that well then...) i think that scu!knux is just someone who gets represented by his pure heart (as every good representation of knuckles) and lack of knowledge of his surroundings and the people who came into his life. He gets easily manipulated and doesn't know what icecream is, bc he has been a loner for so long !! and he does not know earth, that does not mean he's stupid in any way, and i dont think that's what they would go for in s3.

And for Amy I've seen the discourse that boom! generated around her, some claiming that it was the best amy, for her not overly girly attitude maybe or for the fact that her affection towards sonic was hidden and she didn't show it at all, even though it was stated that she liked him.

So I've seen people saying that due to this amy being well received, it has influenced on how they made her in modern media, which i don't think is that much of a true tbh??? Like besides twitter takeovers, i haven't seen much of boom!amy influence in any other thing, perhaps yes they took a different take for her in frontiers or other modern games, but she has always been true to what really her character is, sonic or not Amy is Amy. Its not about how they made boom! canon suddenly but what is the path they want her character to take while she is still connected to her emotions and love for sonic and everyone.

And no i don't think boom!amy is the best version of amy, i don't think any boom! character is the best version of themselves and they will never be, because there is nothing that conveys their true selves in this interpretation, so it's impossible for these characters to be that.

LETS NOT EVEN TALK ABOUT BOOM!SHADOW because that boy is not shadow at all, then again this is a character that suffered a lot of misinterpretations from his own creators so,,,

So im not making really any point in here?

just simply stating the obvious !! sonic boom is a show that you watch to have fun ! it does not have any action or true emotional moments, never has the team gone through a serious situation. You watch it because it's silly and you don't expect much else from it! Everyone is loveable in their own way if you look at them with the right eyes, so maybe you could enjoy this show without thinking about how out of character most things are.

love you sonic boom i will always defend you

[originalgoodname]

this thread is a trainwreck and I love it

What does the arab in your carrd mean? Is it like afab and amab?

.. i’m palestinian

[synthwizardromance]

The song makes you feel sad. So you wonder why it makes you feel sad

And they tell you it's the minor chords. They tell you it's a predictable and replicable structure.

But this is not enough. Why is it sad? What makes it minor?

So they say it's the middle of the chord. The second note played.

They say there's a happy chord that exists. That it aligned in a specific way. That it has a predictable and replicable structure.

And all it takes to make the happy chord into the sad chord is to take the middle of it and tweak it down just a little bit. They say it makes you sad because your brain can tell it's out of shape. Bent and contorted.

And you ask what is this unseen math? Why is this structure of frequencies somehow inherently correct and "happy" but the other is not.

And then the world explodes.

Some say it's cultural. Programmed into your brain by your birth context.

You do not understand people well enough to confirm this

Some say it's neurological. That the hidden calculus of grey matter is able to tell whether the sounds are equally proportioned, aligned with the math of the spheres.

You are not good enough at math to confirm this

Some say it's religous. Spiritual. That each frequency has it's own inherent metaphysical prophecies that are being expound upon.

You are not religious enough to ever even consider this

The song still makes you sad.

[justarandomllamacorn]

Today, for the second time, I dreamt that my parents were leading a cult.

They were about to have a ceremony that would turn my father into a Cthulhu looking humanoid, not affect my mother and turn their followers into zombie like monsters (their skin would turn ashy, eyes empty, only driven by a hunger for flesh).

Anyway, today again (this is the second time they have this ceremony in my dreams) I refused to partake in it so my father threw a handful of wasted rice in the room in which I planned to barricade myself so that the famished mindless monsters would attack me first since I was the closest to them.

We were in a huge complex made of shipping containers, in the countryside. And right next to the shipping container in which I planned to barricade myself there was a library full of old books, I went in and saw a guy who had come here with parents, I could see he had been bidding things in here but pretended I hadn't witnessed anything and started talking about literature. He left, and I picked some books to keep me occupied during the ceremony and it's aftermath. I cleaned up the room I would be using so it didn't smell like spoiled food and wouldn't bring the monsters to attack me and barely closed the front door in time for the beginning of the ceremony. The back was too heavy and wouldn't budge so I ran out as the sky turned to red and scaled up the side of the containers to get to the roof.

There I could see the ceremony unfolding. I went to hide on the other side of the complex, sat on a lower roof above a window, when a boy my age came over to me. I was surprised to see him as I was sure he was a loyal follower and would choose the transformation like the others as it was a great honour and a blessing to them. But he hadn't, he was kind, we spoke a little, he wrapped his vest around my shoulders, gave me a warm mug of milk and a chocolate covered biscuit, "my favourite thing to eat when I'm distressed" , he had said. He smiled gently, accepted to take back his vest and climbed down again, jogging away like in those romantic movies tropes.

Immediately, I stood up and climbed up again, he was a spy, a retriever, he would come back and capture me. My heart beat faster than ever as anxiety rose up in me but still I ran across the roofs, jumping to other roofs, I looked back and saw him pursuing me. I ran like a beast before a wild fire. Jumping and climbing higher still, but he wouldn't give. Over, to the left, I could see the ceremony had worked and they had all transformed into mindless creatures (aside from mother and father, of course).

Eventually I stood on a really high roof and couldn't get to any other roof so I started climbing down the walls, looking through every window if it was safe for me to get in. He was getting closer still, I could feel the adrenaline rushing through my veins, and finally I went in through a window. The small old lady saw I was in a state of dissaray and looked on as I rushed to her locked front door. I hid fast as I saw Him coming in through the window, the blood rushing in my ears drowned out everything they were saying. I saw in a reflection, the old lady coming to the door and unlocking it.

Yet as I made a move to get to the door discreetly, the old lady bumped into the big boxes, sending them toppling onto the ground.

Frozen in shock, I turned my head around and saw him looking at me, nonchalantly half sat on the table. He smiled darkly at me, ready to collect his prize.

The old lady had betrayed me.

[elizabethalsagacomics]

Congrats on surpassing 200K, OP.

glad that im not popular enough to have an evil shadow version of my blog that exists just to make contradictions on my posts

[purplecyborgnewt]

[twolittledemons]

Sylvie: Pa showed us a “quote maker”–

Cecile: He said you can force people to say stuff–

Sylvie: Or something like that–

Cecile: So here’s some shit! Oh, and, sorry, there’s a lot–

——————————

Sylvie: ARE YOU-

George: Fucking.

Sylvie: KIDDING ME?! YOU-

George: Fucking.

Sylvie: IDIOT!

Laf: …What was that?

George: Cecile banned Sylvie from swearing, so I’m helping her out.

——————————

Laf: I'm cold.

George: Here, take my hoodie.

*meanwhile*

Sylvie: I'm cold.

Cecile: I can't control the weather, Sylvie.

——————————

*after George gets surgery and is loopy from the anesthesia*

Laf, gesturing to George: Sylvie, look what you did! You made Mom upset!

Cecile: Mom, please don’t cry, we’re sorry!

Sylvie: I’m sorry Mom... :(

George, near tears: I DON’T REMEMBER GIVING BIRTH TO ANY OF YOU!

——————————

Laf: Ducks are better than rabbits.

Sylvie: What? Rabbits are adorable. Have you ever been in a fight with a duck? Ducks are jerks.

Cecile: Duck is delicious! Rabbit is all gamey.

Sylvie: We’re not talking about flavour, Cecile!

Cecile: Flavour counts!

Sylvie: Who carries around a duck’s foot for good luck? Anyone?

George: You wrap yourself in a comforter stuffed with rabbit hair. I’ll wrap myself in a comforter stuffed with duck feathers! Who’s cozier?

Sylvie: Okay, but-

George: NO, NO, NO, NO. WHO’S COZIER?

Cecile: Then why don’t we take a rabbit, a duck, stick ‘em in a cardboard box and let them fight it out!

Sylvie: BECAUSE IT’S ILLEGAL, CECILE!

Cecile: ONLY IF WE BET ON IT, SYLVIE!

Laf: I- Jesus-

——————————

Cecile, Sylvie & Laf: *screaming*

George: *runs into the room* What's wrong, Laf?!

Cecile: Wait, why are you asking Pa that when Sylvie and I are also here?

George: Because Pa wouldn't scream unless it's an emergency. You two scream whenever you have the chance.

——————————

Sylvie: Pa, we're hungry!

Cecile: Pa! What's for dinner?

George: We're hungry, Laf!

Laf, frying a bottle of ketchup over the stove: *screams*

——————————

*Everyone is playing a board game together*

Laf: I will put 'A' down to make 'A'.

George: I will add onto your 'A' to make 'AT'.

Cecile: I will add onto your 'AT' to make 'RAT'.

Sylvie: I will add onto your 'RAT' to make 'BIOSTRATAGRAPHIC'.

Cecile: *flips the board*

——————————

Laf: Do you know the ABCs of first aid?

Cecile: A. Bone. Coming out of the skin is very bad.

——————————

George, throwing a pokeball at Sylvie: Sylvie, I choose you!

Sylvie, not looking up from her book and catching it: You need an Ultra ball to catch this Legendary Pokémon.

——————————

George: Laf! I can't do this stupid math!

Laf: What’s the math problem?

George: Well, we have to add the bed, subtract the clothes divide the legs, and hope we don’t multiply.

Cecile, covering Sylvie’s ears, while Laf smacks George upside the head: Not gonna lie that was hella smooth.

——————————

Cecile: My stomach growled super loud in French.

Cecile: I would like to clarify, my stomach did not speak in French. It growled during French class.

Laf: Bonjour.

Sylvie: Le growl.

George: Hon hon hon, feed me a baguette.

——————————

Laf: How late were you up last night?

Cecile & Sylvie, in tandem: Me?

Laf: No, not you two. You stay up late all the time.

Laf, to George: You.

——————————

Laf: This food is too hot... I cant eat it.

George: You’re very hot, and I still eat you.

Everyone at the table: *silence*

Cecile: YOU GUYS ARE DISGUSTING!

Sylvie: One dinner... I just want ONE DINNER!

——————————

Cecile: Good. Thanks, dad.

George: You just called Laf “dad”. You just said “thanks, dad.”

Cecile: What? No, I didn’t. I said “thanks, man”.

Laf: Do you see me as a father figure, Cecile?

Cecile: No. If anything I see you as a bother figure ‘cause you’re always bothering me.

Sylvie: Hey! Show your father some respect!

——————————

George: *tapping fingers on table*

Laf: *taps fingers back furiously*

Cecile: …What’s going on?

Sylvie: Morse code. They’re talking.

George: -.-- ..- .-. / - …. . / -.-. ..- - . … -

Laf: *slams hands on table* YOU TAKE THAT BACK!

[Translation: Yur The Cutest]

——————————

Cecile: LOWERCASE LETTERS ARE FOR THE LOWER CLASS!

George: And here we have a capitalist.

Laf: Did you just-

Sylvie: Let us all take a moment to appreciate that all of human history, human language, and the universe itself aligned to make this joke possible.

——————————

Laf: I give up. I am so tired.

Sylvie: Get the emergency supply!

George: *carries Cecile and places her in front of Laf*

Cecile: *smiles*

Laf: AND I AM BACK BABY, LET’S GOOO

——————————

*The girls are learning CPR on a test dummy*

George: So, assessing the situation. Are they breathing?

Sylvie: No, Dad. They are not breathing. And they have no arms or legs.

George: No, that’s not part of it—

Sylvie: Where are they? You know what? If we come across somebody with no arms or legs do we bother resuscitating them? I mean, what kind of quality of life do we have there?

Cecile: I would want to live with no legs.

Sylvie: How about no arms? No arms or legs is basically how you exist right now, Cecile. You don’t do anything.

George: All right, well, lets get back to it. ‘Cause you’re losing him.

Sylvie: *pumps frantically*

George: Okay, too fast. Everyone, we need to pump at a pace of a 100 beats per minute.

Sylvie: Okay, that’s uh, hard to keep track. How many is that per hour?

Laf: How’s that gonna help you?

Sylvie: I will divide and then count to it.

Laf: Right.

George: Okay. Well, a good trick is to pump to the tune of ‘Staying Alive’ by the Bee Gees. Do you know that song?

Sylvie: Yes, yes I do. I love that song. *clears throat, begins to sing* First I was afraid, I was petrified.

——————————

George: Why do you act like we’re three year olds?

Laf, exasperated: WHY?!?

Laf points at Cecile: YOU TRIED TO HYJACK A CAR!

Laf points at Sylvie: YOU NEARLY JUMPED 20 FEET OFF A CARPARK!

Laf points at George: AND YOU ATE MULTIPLE DRIED LEAVES AND ROCKS OFF THE GROUND!

Laf: AND YOU ASK ME WHY????

——————————

Cecile: *falls down the stairs*

Laf: Are you okay?

George: Stop falling down the stairs!

Sylvie: How’d the ground taste?

——————————

George: Subs are so fun to play with. All you have to do is hint at what you might do, back them into a corner with a look, or grab their wrist in a certain way and they're a wide-eyed mess.

Cecile: What the fuck kind of Subway are you going to?

Sylvie: Substitute teachers deal with so much shit.

Laf: Girls.

——————————

Sylvie: I currently have 7 empty notebooks and I have no idea what to put in them. Any suggestions?

George: Put spaghetti in it.

Sylvie: I am currently taking suggestions from everyone but you.

Cecile: Put spaghetti in it.

Sylvie: I am currently taking suggestions from everyone but you two.

Laf: Put spaghetti in it.

Sylvie: I am no longer taking suggestions.

——————————

Laf: Are you laughing at that video of Cecile and Sylvie fighting?

George: No.

George: I'm laughing at the comments.

——————————

George: Today at 7 am, Laf poured a Monster energy drink in his coffee, said "I'm going to die" and drank the whole thing.

Sylvie: I watched Pa brew his coffee with Monster instead of water. Three cups in two hours. I think he ascended into the astral realm.

Cecile: The survivability of the human race never fails to amaze me.

——————————

Laf: You were stabbed. Do you remember anything?

George: Only the ambulance ride to the hospital.

Laf: That wasn't an ambulance, I drove you.

George: But I heard a siren.

Cecile: That was Sylvie.

Sylvie: Sorry, I got nervous.

——————————

Sylvie: Time sensitive question how flirt boy.

Laf: Throw rocks at he.

George: Hot Dogs.

Cecile: Kill him.

Sylvie: Thanks guys.

——————————

George: For self defense reasons, I'm going to pretend to be a burglar and you guys have to act wisely.

Sylvie, Laf, & Cecile: Okay.

George: If you don't want to die, give me all your money.

Laf: Bold of you to assume I have money.

Sylvie: Bold of you to assume I don't want to die.

Cecile: Bold of you to assume I can die.

——————————

George: Yesterday, I watched Cecile try to eat a decorative rock from Sylvie's potted plant. Laf caught her, and told her she can't eat rocks. Cecile started whining something about no food being in the house before walking away.

——————————

Laf, watching Cecile and Sylvie fight: Are you sure they should be fighting? What if they get hurt?

George, not bothered by the chaos: It’s fine. They’re too evenly matched to hurt each other.

Laf: Then... who’s the strongest out of you three?

Cecile: Dad.

Sylvie: Dad.

George: Me.

——————————

*Laf is in the kitchen and he hears a crash from the living room*

Laf, running into the living room: WHAT ON EARTH HAPPENED HERE?!?!

Cecile, looking at the broken TV screen and the remote on the floor: I was trying to throw the remote onto the TV stand!

Laf: And Dad didn’t stop you?!

Cecile, pointing at a sleeping George: He’s been asleep for the past three hours.

Sylvie, walking in, oblivious to the situation: Hey guys-

Sylvie, realizing: Wait, is the TV broken? Why?!

Laf, pointing at Cecile: She threw the remote onto the TV stand.

Sylvie: Come on! That’s the 5th time this week and it’s 2 in the morning on a Tuesday!

George, waking up to see the situation: *yawns* How long was I out?

George, seeing the broken TV: OH GOD NOT AGAIN! CECILE, I TOLD YOU NOT TO!

Cecile: You were asleep! And I always take a window of opportunity when I see it!

Laf, George & Sylvie, in unison: But you broke the-

Cecile: My work here is done. If anyone asks, I was never. *dashes out of the living room*

——————————

Police: You’re under arrest for trying to carry three people on a single motorcycle.

George, with Cecile and Sylvie behind him: Wait, what do you mean THREE?!

Police: Yes…three.

George: Oh, my God— What the fuck!?

Police: Wha-

George: Laf FUCKING FELL OFF!

——————————

Laf: You are now one day closer to eating your next plate of nachos.

Sylvie: That's the most hopeful thing I've ever heard.

Cecile: But what if I die tomorrow and never eat any nachos?

George: Then tomorrow is nacho lucky day.

[buckydeservesthebest]

I want to start by apologizing for my previous post, it was terribly terse, and I didn't explain myself as I'd have liked, as I ignored many factors that must be taken into account. The truth is that I wrote it while I was in college online classes... it wasn't my best idea...

Back to the topic. You have interesting points. I think this is a much more complex topic than we initially thought... The mouse in my head didn't stop spinning until I came up with this two-cent theory:

I’d like to start with the point that it actually makes a lot of technical sense that Bucky under the Winter Soldier programming possesses the memories of what happened in his missions prior to the memory wipe. I mean, it doesn't mean at all that every instant the WS is activated he remembers everything, but that the memories are there and when his handlers order him to give information, he can, with some effort, access them.

Let me explain, the first decades after Bucky's capture, HYDRA tried in all its capabilities to eliminate all his memories and thus make his identity disappear, as they needed a… it hurts me to say it… blank canvas that offered no resistance to start with the conditioning and programming. But we know that all this presumed "wiped" memory was never truly gone, as Bucky finally regained his identity, so in reality what they did was not to erase but only to suppress all this data in a very recondite place in the subconscious of his brain so Bucky's consciousness could not manifest itself and interfere with the Winter Soldier's programming.

But according to Zola's notes (in The Wakanda Files book) even without an outside stimulus to help him remember his past life, as Steve was, Bucky was already beginning to manifest memory fragments and emotions on his own, which is why immediately after each mission they would place him in cryostasis and at the start of each new mission they would begin the process of memory erasure and the use of trigger words.

My point is, no matter how much damage HYDRA did to Bucky's brain over the decades, they could NEVER truly erase the memories of his past life, so that means the memories Bucky acquired as the Winter Soldier could not be erased either.

In reality, it would not be convenient for them to continue to cause such severe damage to Bucky's presumed “formatted” memory, because his brain must still be able to apprehend information. In fact, it is under the REM sleep state (the type of trance to which the Winter Soldier is subjected) that the brain is most receptive to information, there the brain regions used for learning are stimulated. That makes sense why HYDRA chose this type of trance, because it is the best way to make the human brain accept new information... basically, reprogramming it.

Trying to eliminate the memories the Winter Soldier acquired during his missions is directly proportional to the brain damage caused. And severe amnesia causes damage to semantic memory (general knowledge, facts and concepts), procedural memory (this is the memory of skills and procedures), short-term memory (the ability to retain new information) and anterograde memory (refers to the difficulty to form new memories after the onset of amnesia).

All of this would be counterproductive for HYDRA, as after every memory wipe before every mission, they would have to basically retrain the Winter Soldier in combat tactics, use of weaponry, tactics to leave the scene of the crime unseen and without leaving a trace, and a long etcetera... This is definitely a situation they don't want to deal with...

This must mean that the ECT to erase Bucky's memories must be located more specifically in the oldest memories, those of his past life that make him who he is. Long-term memory is mainly stored in the hippocampus, according to the studies I could read, and precisely in the Wakanda Files book, Shuri says that this is the area most widely affected.

But leaving aside the more technical aspect, and returning to what Marvel has let us see, it is worth noting that when Zemo asked Bucky for the specific place in Siberia where he was held captive was *after* having pronounced the trigger words and the Winter Soldier was activated, because Bucky would never have shared that information voluntarily.

Zemo: "Why don't we discuss your home? Not Romania. Certainly not Brooklyn, no. I mean, your real home" (this is the moment when Zemo shows Bucky the red book and starts to say the trigger words, with no other flashing scenes).

That means Bucky did remember what he talked to Zemo about while he was under the Winter Soldier trance, because well, that's the information he gave Steve and Sam.

Also, there's the fact that Bucky remembers information about the other WS, like they were HYDRA's most efficient assassins before receiving the serum, etc... (the following flashback about them seemed to be a flashback Bucky had, at least that's the impression I got). This is information he must have heard by the time his handlers had assigned him the task of physically training them. And this seems to be something Zemo asked him as well, as Bucky thought that was the reason he wanted to get to Siberia. And in any case if this was information that Zemo told Bucky in that moment, it'd still mean that he remembers what happened under the Winter Soldier state.

And Zemo's comment: “Did you really think I wanted more of you?” reinforces the idea that they talked about it. (By “you” Zemo must be referring to Bucky, as he replies, “what the hell?” in confusion.)

So why couldn't Bucky recognize Steve and Natasha? My theory is that the WS's level of conditioning and programming is such that he is literally incapable of performing an action that is not part of the order his handlers gave him. I mean, if they ask him for information about a much earlier event, as Zemo did, Bucky is forced to go out of his way to remember and access those memory files that do exist, even if they are very hidden, but if the action of remembering is not part of the order then he doesn't have to, or rather, is unable to remember.

Note: I think this shocking degree of conditioning could be seen in the training of the other WS. For the order given to Bucky was to train them, and one of them seemed to hold the upper hand in combat. But once the situation got out of control and Korpov ordered him to get him to safety, the order changed and he was able to defeat almost all of the WS single handedly. All this maintains the familiar stance that the Winter Soldier exists only to obey... i'm not okay... 😭

Also, when Bucky questioned Pierce about who Steve was, it was because when a tiny fraction of his memories came back, a tiny fraction of his personality surfaced, and this allowed him to ask a question. For the Winter Soldier never questions, because he doesn't have that capacity. So, I wouldn't say it was so much that “what Bucky’s handler said doesn't make sense for him, but he can't be sure” but rather that he was incapable of performing on his own the act of trying to recall and access those memories of the supposed mission Pierce was telling him about. (added to the fact that his short-term and long-term memory are in constant flux, something he cannot control... I'll explain it below)

Natasha's case is simpler because the assigned mission for the Winter Soldier was to neutralize or assassinate her, remembering her was not part of the order of course, also she doesn't represent anything important in Bucky's life to remember, unlike Steve.

But he couldn't remember Steve when they met again on the Helicarrier either, right? Well, Bucky also had no flashback manifestations when Steve called him “Buck”, unlike the first time. I think it was the fact that HYDRA subjected Bucky to another ETC within a short time of each other - which they hadn't had the need to do before - or perhaps that this ECT was more intense, which caused Bucky to take much longer for a fragment of his memories to manifest.

That's why it took longer for Steve to try to get him to remember, tell him that his name is James Buchanan Barnes, that they are friends and have known each other all their lives, and it was until the end with “I'm with you until the end of the line” that finally a glimpse of Bucky's memories came back. I mean, Steve had to try a lot harder this time to get the same effect that calling him “Bucky” had the first time.

Note: I feel like besides the new ETC, the reason it took Bucky a lot longer to remember was because that was the order Pierce gave him, like “if that guy in disguise wants to make you think you know him, don't listen to him, you don't know him, don't think and just take him out” or something like that... and hence the very aggressive reaction to try to combat the resurgence of memories…

I find it interesting that at the very end of CA: TWS, despite Bucky remembering a sliver of his life, which gave him back his autonomy, there was not a flashback of his life before being captured by HYDRA to follow, unlike the first time Steve called him by name. So, I think maybe this could mean that in this case, he didn't have a manifestation of episodic memory, i.e. a memory with images, voices, etc. But rather it was a manifestation of emotional or associative memory, i.e. feeling that he knew Steve and feeling that he was a very important person to him, feeling that he was his family...

Note: Associative memory is memory through associations, such as a smell or a song, in this case I'd say it was the phrase “I'm with you until the end of the line”...

Did in the following time, more memories and flashbacks manifested in Bucky's mind? Well, this is difficult to answer, because there is nothing to indicate that his rate of memory retrieval is linear or constant, I mean, it is not continuous or patterned.

In fact, in the book The Wakanda Files, Shuri says that repaired memory centers/retrieved memories are temporary! For Bucky's short- and long-term memory are in constant flux.

"it was as if Sergeant Barnes was in REM sleep while awake, in a dream-like state where he would comply with orders. And while in this induced state of mind, his short- and long-term memory were constantly in flux. However, the shared memories of Barnes with his best friend, Steve Rogers, *momentarily* fired memory centers, jogging bits and pieces of his past life while in the sleeplike trance." “It would seem that stimulus, especially emotionally resonant stimulus – the sight of a loved one, the mentioning of a familiar phrase, etc – has the ability to access a presumed “wiped” memory in those who have been brainwashed… *at least for a fleeting moment*.” – The Wakanda Files

So, this means that if Bucky retrieves a certain amount of memories at a certain instant, he may no longer have them a moment later. That explains why his backpack was just full of notebooks with notes everything he can remember, for fear of losing those memories, just like those with Alzheimer's, as Seb put it.

So, the idea that Bucky didn't quite recognize Steve at their meeting in Bucharest is not far-fetched, because it's possible that at that time he didn't quite have memories of him or their friendship but only what he read about him in the museum. So, his response “I read about you in the museum” would technically be true!

Then, the idea that Bucky had access to all the memories of his past life at the end of CA: TWS is actually not correct. In fact, it can be seen in CW, in the talk he had with Steve when they arrived in Siberia, that the memories of their childhood together were something he was remembering even at that point, as he didn't remember Dolores' name, for example. The point is, each and every one of Bucky's memories come and go (maybe only until before he got help from Wakanda), so they can be there one moment and for the other not, he can go a long time with no trouble remembering and a second later lose a bit of information.

Now, according to all this we can make a relationship between the percentage of memory obtained, the percentage of personality/identity manifested and the degree of influence of the Winter Soldier programming. We have that:

Percentage of memories gained is proportional to percentage of identity manifested.

% of acquired memories = % of manifested identity.

The percentage of manisfested identity is inversely proportional to the degree of influence of the Winter Soldier's programming.

In other words, the more memories Bucky recovers, the more of his personality comes to the surface and the less effect the WS trance state has on him.

This may explain the change in Bucky's personality at the beginning in Bucharest, for if by that time the amount of memories he possessed was small, i.e. his manifested personality was not complete (ergo: the Winter Soldier trance state was still influencing his behavior), then his continued nervousness and hyper-vigilance - yes, this in addition to the PTSD already present - was normal. And this would explain the slightly more aggressive behavior when fighting the SWAT team in the fight in his apartment. Also, did you notice how Bucky knocked Steve down immediately after he touched his shoulder? It was a self-defense reaction based on the tension induced by the trance-like state of the Winter Soldier.

Note: I believe Bucky was really really trying hard not to kill or hurt anyone, but the influence of the WS trance-type, which is mostly violence, was still having an effect on him (sorry if I have said it many times already, but I feel that if I don't, the sentence loses meaning), so he couldn't control the aggressiveness of his fighting form even when he tried. But our boy is so good that in the end he was able to control himself enough to actually not kill anyone... :')

Now, following this logic, this would also explain Bucky's more relaxed and cooperative behavior after passing out, as the severe head concussion would have brought back his memories/consciousness in a way analogous to how the emotional stimuli from the outside (the power of friendship) did the two times in CA: TWS. That being the case, Bucky immediately recognized his best friend and returned that affection and that gentle, soft manner with which he always treated him in the past.

Note: This means that the concussion to the head had a greater effect in giving Bucky back some of his memory, as opposed to the external emotional stimuli whose effect seems smaller (sorry Steve).

You can see in his body language how the memories started to flow in his mind… “Your mom's name was Sarah...You used to wear newspapers in your shoes.” He even laughed when he said this! That is a spontaneous reaction to a thought that is forming at that moment.

So, the sequence of events, where Bucky first asks “what did I do?” and then with effort remembers what he talked to Zemo after the Winter Soldier was activated, is not contradictory, because:

i) His short and long term memory is in constant flux.

ii) He had just woken up from a concussion fainting so it's natural that he was confused and that it took a while for his memories to start flowing.

Note: In this scene he appears to hit his head as he releases his arm from the chair, was this intentional? Was he trying to knock himself out before Zemo finished uttering the trigger words? Had he succeeded, he would have regained his memories upon awakening... 😭😭

Now, finally speaking of Tony, does it make sense that Bucky said he remembers all the victims he was forced to kill? The answer is yes, it can make sense, in the interpretation in which that information exists in Bucky's brain, those memories are stored there. And Bucky's ability to access those memories, while volatile, also exists. And by probability, the possibility that at some point in time all of those memories will suddenly appear in Bucky's mind, also exists.

Perhaps... perhaps and at that moment, in which Bucky said that to Tony, he had indeed remembered a large number of those victims, maybe not all of them because he could not be sure, but a considerable amount that in the metaphorical sense can be taken as “all”... that is possible...

Then there is the more symbolic perspective of the situation, where saying “I remember all of them” is a way of saying “all those deaths are something I'll carry forever, even if I don't remember literally all their faces... their deaths matter to me....” ... this is the interpretation I always had of the scene....

Note 1: But I also agree with the interpretation that by saying this, even when true, Bucky was giving Tony the excuse he was looking for to try to kill him... and if someone had to die there, Bucky wanted to make sure that was him... tell me our boy is one of the noblest characters of all without telling me! 😭 Note 2: I totally agree that, although Bucky remembers the people he was forced to kill, it would be in any case, a memory of only their faces and not their identities, because this cannot be deduced (unless HYDRA gave him the names, but I think this was never shown), as in the case of Tony's parents, certainly Bucky did not know their identity until the moment he saw the recording...

So, well, I feel all of this would disprove the idea that Bucky tends to lie or fudge the truth about his memories to put the situation in his favor (which, indeed, there is absolutely nothing wrong with), because Bucky is at the mercy of the volatility of the manifestation of his memories, and he can only rely on what he remembers at the time. Also, nothing that has been seen about Bucky indicates that he ever lied to turn things on his favor.

We can come to the conclusion that it is not a question of whether in the ABC situations he was Bucky or was not (not counting the time he was under the control of HYDRA, because here Bucky did not exist), but the percentage of Bucky's consciousness/personality that manifests. Nor about whether his memories are reliable or not, but about the volatile flow of memories that come and go and the ability to access this information that always exists.

*Again, I apologize for the wrong impression I gave in my first post, on the subject of emotional detachment to memories and whether Bucky's memories were reliable or not, i expressed myself terribly badly, so please feel free to ignore it.*

.

Now, talking about whether TFATWS confirmed the fact that Bucky remembers everyone. The short answer is yes. This was the premise of the series, and the book "The Falcon and The Winter Soldier: The Art of the Series", which we can consider canon because it was published by the entire production of the series, clarifies it:

In fact, Bucky's line in episode 6 also confirms it: “You think your cause justifies all this death, but in the end, the nightmares won’t go away. You’re gonna remember all the ones you killed. Trust me. Don’t do this. Don’t go down this path.” (no Bucky, HYDRA was never your cause, because your consciousness didn't even exist at that time!)

There is also Spellman's comment he gave in an interview: "So when Bucky enters the series, he's never ever shaken what he believes, which is, 'I remember everyone, murders, which means that part of me was there, which means a part of the Winter Soldier is me.' And if even a fraction of Winter Soldier is you, you are an awful person."

Talking about the idea that the show doesn't explicitly say that Bucky's nightmares are memories. Actually, the show did say that, again in a Bucky line:

Sam: “You still having those nightmares?”

Bucky: “All the time. It means I remember. It means a part of me is still there. Which means a part of the Winter Soldier’s still in me."

Yeah, it’s clear that he seeks information about those victims in order to make amends, but those nightmares are still memories, because those events are information, and well, by definition a memory is the brain's ability to retain and retrieve information.

Nightmare = Memory = Information

Speaking about the amends, well, in fact, it was never explicitly said that the government imposed them on Bucky as a condition of his pardon. In reality, only mandatory therapy was discussed as the only condition. That's why in episode two, the cops arrested him for not attending the mandatory session.

In the conversation between Bucky and Dr. Raynor it is made clear that it is the government's intention to be sure that he is a “non-dangerous member for society” (the real dangerous people were the ones who at the time were the Winter Soldier's handlers, as by himself he didn't have the capacity to do anything!). And therefore, the necessity of mandatory therapy...

“You’re a civilian now. With your history, the government needs to know that you’re not gonna… It’s a condition of your pardon. So, tell me about your most recent nightmare.”

That's why the only issue she wants to talk about is whether he's still having nightmares, not whether he's made progress with the amendments: “So, Mr. Barnes, are you still having nightmares?” “So, tell me about your most recent nightmare.”

And later again: “So, you did it all right, but it didn’t help with the nightmares.”

It seems that for Dr. Raynor nightmares are considered as “a sign that something is not right" (no! they are a manifestation of PTSD caused by decades of torture and are treated with years of a real healthy therapy!), so it has to be worked on so that Bucky can reintegrate into society. And for that, it was concluded that Bucky “had to make amends to make him feel better" (that's not how this works, on the contrary, it's only harmful to him!).

It always seemed to me that amends are something that Bucky wanted to do. I mean, it's an idea that came from him. He let Dr. Raynor know about it at some point and she imposed those “three rules” on him...

And about the idea that Bucky didn't have nightmares in Louisiana because he wasn't thinking about the list. Actually, Bucky told Sam that he has nightmares all the time... this has nothing to do with thinking about that list or not...

Sam: “You still having those nightmares?”

Bucky: “All the time....”

Again, nightmares are one of the many ways in which PTSD manifests itself and depending on the severity (Bucky's case must be the most severe there has ever been) it requires years or decades of real healthy therapy to disappear, if it disappears at all. In addition, what Bucky suffers from is NOT only PTSD, but irreversible brain damage and many serious mental illnesses... and none of this is going to magically disappear because of "Sam's motivational speech and putting himself at the service of others" (which is nothing more than victim blaming and... ahhh.. but I won't talk about it right now)...

So, the possibility Bucky will always have nightmares is very high... 😢😭

Maybe this is part of the reason we find him in such a depressing state in Thunderbolts???? :'((((

“That line was an interesting moment. At the time, the choice I was making is that [Bucky] had realized there was no way he was getting out of there, and someone was gonna die, whether it was gonna be him, Steve or Tony. When he says that line, to me, it was a turning point — he was, like, ‘Okay, I know what you want me to say, and I’m just gonna say it.’ When someone comes at you over and over again, and they can’t hear you, they can’t see you’re pleading with them, you’re trying to figure out how to get through to them and they just won’t accept it, at some point you just give in, and you go, ‘that’s right, that’s what you want.’ Of course [Bucky] didn’t remember them all.” —  Sebastian Stan

[pjs-everyday]

lol somehowww mina convinced everyone to get cat-quirked haha

[spkyart]

I am so normal about them