#Look Who's Back! Hamm's Bear

[grannyandgrandpascreations]

Look Who's Back! Hamms Bear Crewneck Pullover Sweatshirt

Looking for a pullover that is just as comfortable at the gym as it is lounging around the house? Check out this “Hamms Bear, Look Who’s Back!” Active French Terry Crewneck Pullover that provides you with ultimate comfort and style.

This sweatshirt is durable and made from soft French terry fabric that has recycled polyester, this active sweatshirt will not only keep you cool with your workouts heating up but also is environmentally friendly. This sweatshirt features a hint of spandex to make movements easy while feeling comfortable. 65% recycled polyester, 30% Rayon and 5% Spandex, soft French Terry Fabric with a relaxed fit. Stretch for ease in movement with moisture wicking and tag less.

Care instructions: Turn item inside out, machine wash cold, no bleach, no softener. Do not dry clean. Do not iron. Tumble dry low.

Due to different picture lighting settings the actual color might vary a bit from the pictures.

Current Turnaround Time due to upcoming Holidays - 1-5 Business Days. While we always use priority shipping options, once shipped we cannot guarantee delivery due to the backlog current being experienced USPS/UPS/FedEx. If you have a strict deadline, please message me when ordering so that I can note any rush requests. Ownership of packages turned over to USPS transfers to the Buyer. We are not responsible for lost, held, damaged packages or delayed packages, once your package(s) leaves our Shop it is completely out of our control. Thank you for understanding!

LET’S GET SOCIAL & BE FRIENDS! Like, Tag & Follow us for Our new Creations, Inspiration & Giveaways!

facebook.com/ https://www.facebook.com/GrandpaHandmadecreations/

instagram.com/ https://www.instagram.com/grannyandgrandpacustomcreation/

2018 All photography is intellectual property of Granny and Grandpa's Custom Creations © and may not be used without express written permission from Granny and Grandpa's Custom Creations.

#grannygrandpascustomcreations - #Hamms - #Hammsbear - #sweatshirt

Looking for a pullover that is just as comfortable at the gym as it is lounging around the house? Check out this “Hamms Bear, Look Who’s Back!” Active French Terry Crew Pullover that provides you with ultimate comfort and style.

This sweatshirt is durable and made from soft French terry fabric that has recycled polyester, this active sweatshirt will not only keep you cool with your workouts heating up but also is environmentally friendly. This sweatshirt features a hint of spandex to make movements easy while feeling comfortable. 65% recycled polyester, 30% Rayon and 5% Spandex, soft French Terry Fabric with a relaxed fit. Stretch for ease in movement with moisture wicking and tag less.

Care instructions: Turn item inside out, machine wash cold, no bleach, no softener. Do not dry clean. Do not iron. Tumble dry low.

Due to different picture lighting settings the actual color might vary a bit from the pictures.

Current Turnaround Time due to upcoming Holidays - 1-5 Business Days. While we always use priority shipping options, once shipped we cannot guarantee delivery due to the backlog current being experienced USPS/UPS/FedEx. If you have a strict deadline, please message me when ordering so that I can note any rush requests. Ownership of packages turned over to USPS transfers to the Buyer. We are not responsible for lost, held, damaged packages or delayed packages, once your package(s) leaves our Shop it is completely out of our control. Thank you for understanding!

#grannygrandpascustomcreations - #Hamms - #Hammsbear - #sweatshirt

[denimbex1986]

'...“Wild Blue Yonder,” Doctor Who (Second 60th Anniversary Special)

This standout hour allows David Tennant and Catherine Tate both to shine — as The Doctor and Donna Noble and the Not-Things looking like them. After Donna spilled coffee into the TARDIS console, the two end up at the edge of the universe, stranded after the H.A.D.S. (Hostile Action Displacement System) switches back on and the TARDIS flees imminent danger. Not only is it The Doctor and Donna at their best — the banter, her making fun of his “Allons-y” — and without the concern of her mind burning up, but there’s time for emotional moments from each as well.

Following “The Star Beast,” Tennant continues to play the devastating rage and quiet heartbreak of The Doctor’s losses (then, the thought of losing Donna as he had to activate the Time Lord memories dormant inside her, and this time, because of Not-Donna bringing up that Gallifrey isn’t his home and the Flux). And Tate brilliantly brings across the anguish and acceptance of her character facing her likely death, when The Doctor at first takes the wrong Donna on board the TARDIS upon its return just as the spaceship they landed on is about to explode to destroy the Not-Things. He, of course, returns in time, but both are visibly haunted by the experience after.

There is time for a couple light-hearted moments, particularly when it comes to the two meeting (Sir — spoilers!) Isaac Newton (Nathaniel Curtis), whom they later agree was hot, and the change of “gravity” to “mavity” that sticks after he mishears them. And of course Bernard Cribbins’ last scene as Donna’s granddad, Wilf, and his joy at seeing not only The Doctor (and that particular face) but also Donna with her memories back, is as welcome as it is bittersweet.

“Every Day,” Good Omens (Season 2 Episode 6)

What better way to cap off a devilishly good season than with a romantic, exciting, and heartbreaking finale? Neil Gaiman‘s Good Omens gathers angels from Heaven, demons from Hell, and mortals from Whickber Street in Aziraphale’s (Michael Sheen) bookshop, and not only does the truth about Gabriel’s (Jon Hamm) amnesia come out, but it also ends with an angel and a demon running off together… just not the ones we expect (though we didn’t hate it!). Sadly, Aziraphale and Crowley’s (David Tennant) emotional conversation and kiss (one of the best scenes of the series, with terrific performances from Sheen and Tennant) as well as a promotion from Heaven has them ending the season apart rather than as an “us.”

Also, after failed rom-com attempts from Aziraphale and Crowley to play matchmaker for Maggie (Maggie Service) and Nina (Nina Sosanya), the women don’t get together — a healthy decision on the coffee shop owner’s part, given her previous relationship, and a swerve from what might be expected.

The episode does everything a good finale should: wraps up some loose ends and leaves off on a cliffhanger that has us begging for the third season ASAP...'

[super-unpredictable98]

The Other Hell? (An Endgame story)

Word Count: 1,2k

Warning: mention of death, suicide, abuse... lots of nihilism

a/n: New character alert! I just couldn't help but imagine what happened to poor Clov after he (SPOILER WARNING) left the flat, so I wrote this little story to indulge my imagination. Might write more about him, but no promises lol

(Masterlist)

Finally some silence, finally order. The entire world is dead, there's nothing left except for him and his thoughts as far as he's concerned. That's what comforted Clov as he walked up the hill, leaving behind the only home and only father he ever knew. Even if it was hardly a home or hardly a father.

His entire life Clov felt more like a dog, a dog who happens to learn words and do chores for his owner. All because one day, many years ago when he had no choice, his owner offered him a roof and a plate of food. Children have no choice but to live, we are brought into this world without permission... How cruel, isn't it?

"It's all silent and still," he murmured, letting down his briefcase and hat before leaning against a wall, or what was left of it. "And each thing is in its last place, under the last dust."

But where was he supposed to go now that a whistle didn't give him direction? Would he just walk forever until his body gave out on him and let him rest for good? Unable to ever sit or enjoy the journey because of the pain in his legs with each step? What is left to do after you get the courage to leave?

And if he wanted to come back, would he even know how? Would Hamm still be there right in the center of the room talking to the walls and complaining endlessly?

"What are you doing in my house?" a woman asked, carrying a basket full of old cans and moldy biscuits.

"What house? This isn't a house," Clov said, looking around. There were but one wall already crumbling to the ground, part of a ripped couch, a small pile of books, and a big cardboard box with a rug inside.

The woman standing in front of him was tall and imponent, she wasn't weak and didn't seem like she'd been starving like him. She walked properly, was agile and strong, her strawberry blonde hair was so long that her braid could be used as a scarf, and her blue eyes were incredibly odd.

"What do you call it then?"

"Nothing, it's nothing..." he murmured, finally realizing what was so odd about her. Her light was still there, bright and blinding.

"I live here, so it's my house."

"How do you know where it ends if it has no walls?"

"I decide it depending on my mood," she said, placing the basket on the couch. "Wanna come sit down? You look exhausted."

"I can't, ma'am, I can't sit down."

"That must be a horrible existence... Here," she held her hand out. "If you can't sit, I'll lay down with you."

The lady carefully helped him down, taking one of the pillows from the couch to support his head. She joined him and sighed as they both stared at the gray sky.

"Do you think I'll be able to get up?" he asked, remembering the prophecy Hamm cursed him with when he said that one day Clov would end up just like him. "What if I'm not? What if my sight fails me the next time I blink?"

"I'll carry you then, and I shall find you a cane," she said, not worried in the slightest. "What is your name? Since you broke into my house, the least you can do is tell me your name."

"Clov."

"Clov what?"

"I- I'm not sure I know," he grimaced. "And you?"

"Aine Salvato."

"I thought there was no one left in this world," he chuckled, ignoring the little lad from the window, he was hopefully dead by now.

"Humanity always finds a way, part of it at least. Isn't it amazing how we always persevere?"

"It's terrifying. To think of starting it all over, only to fall in misery again and again and again..."

Despite his words, the sentiment he was used to bearing in his chest had somehow shifted, Clov felt something different ever since leaving the flat. Even though there was no more nature, hardly any food, even though the world was in shambles, he wasn't stuck in a loop anymore.

Maybe misery would be all he was bound to find, but at least, it would be his own, at least he would be somewhere else, somewhere he chose.

"But we embrace it, we embrace the circumstance and find comfort even as we face humanity's inevitable doom," Aine countered.

"But to live is to suffer."

"And still we live."

"And suffer."

"But we live!" she insisted. "If a tiger were to show up right now, starved, ready to devour you, I guarantee you'd find a way to run. It's simply how we were wired, we were built to survive."

Closing his eyes, he thought about that, for sure he would run. With his bad legs, bad eyes, nearly dead light, he would still run for his life. What a contradiction that the very thing he wanted to end was also his most precious asset.

"So do you like being alive?"

"Not particularly, but how am I supposed to find out what comes tomorrow if I'm not here?" she giggled. A giggle that turned into laughter, and soon they were both laughing without knowing why. "Even if it's horrible, I'd still like to know."

"I don't even know how many days I've spent in there, every horrible day just like the one before. Nothing new to look forward to."

"Imagine all you can do now that you're no longer hiding in Plato's cave? Simply looking at the shadows of what might've been, never truly feeling the sun on your skin. I can't say out here it's better, but it's different for sure."

"Why are you kind to me? After I broke into your house?" Clov asked.

"Because us humans gotta stick together, there aren't many of us left," Aine shrugged, reaching in her basket for a few biscuits, which she also offered to her guest. "The world isn't kind, but I am, or try to be. I envy the optimists, so every day I try a little harder to be more like them."

For the first time in a long time, he wanted to say thank you. What could it be? Happiness? Hope? No, certainly not. It was much too late for that, but... Maybe just peace. And for that moment, laying down next to that twisted-minded woman who offered him so much without asking for anything in return, peace was enough.

Clov has never been much of an optimist himself, he never tried to exercise his kindness, so this volatile simple peace might not be enough the next day, or the next, or the one after that, but now it was.

That's friendship, yes, yes, no question, you've found it.

Tag List: @seanfalco @firstpersonnarrator @salvador-daley @badsext

[tabloidtoc]

Us, May 3

You can buy a brand new copy of this issue without the mailing label for your very own at my eBay store: https://www.ebay.com/str/bradentonbooks

Cover: Pregnant Meghan Markle: My Baby, My Way

Page 2: Red Carpet -- rufflemania -- Hollywood style stars are tier-ing it up in this flattering design with feminine flair -- Tracee Ellis Ross, Kaitlyn Dever, Margot Robbie, Logan Browning, Nicola Coughlan

Page 3: Lizzo, Maude Apatow, Lucy Boynton, Jessica Alba, Lily Collins

Page 4: Who Wore It Best? Anya Taylor-Joy vs. Isla Fisher vs. Regina King in Stuart Weitzman Nudist sandal

Page 6: Loose Talk -- Shonda Rhimes on the intense backlash she received over Rege-Jean Page's exit from Bridgerton, Kelly Ripa on her most embarrassing interview, Luke Bryan on his mother LeClaire's Instagram fame, Blake Shelton on The Voice's new coach Ariana Grande, Reese Witherspoon joking about wearing bottoms that aren't sweatpants

Page 8: Contents

Page 10: A Final Farewell to Prince Philip, his four children Prince Charles and Princess Anne and Prince Andrew and Prince Edward were among the loved ones who participated in the emotional ceremony, feuding brothers Prince Harry and Prince William (and his wife Duchess Kate) put their differences aside after the intimate service, due to Covid-19 protocols the grieving Queen Elizabeth stayed socially distant from the other 29 people who attended the funeral for her husband of 73 years

Page 11: ACM Awards 2021 -- Maren Morris teamed up with her husband Ryan Hurd and won Female Artist of the Year, Thomas Rhett won Male Artist of the Year, Carrie Underwood took the stage

Page 12: Hot Pics -- Rosie Huntington-Whiteley wore an orange coat during a visit to NYC, John Stamos plays a coach on the TV show Big Shot, Zach Braff goofed around on the set of Cheaper by the Dozen in L.A.

Page 13: Eva Longoria on her trampoline while aboard a yacht in Miami, Howie Mandel arrived to the set of America's Got Talent dressed as a bug in Pasadena

Page 14: Jon Hamm and his rescue dog Splash strolled around the neighborhood in L.A., Heidi Klum in all white in Pasadena, Sara Gilbert and Linda Perry take a stroll in L.A.

Page 15: Eddie Cibrian and LeAnn Rimes held hands after dinner at Il Segreto in L.A., Patrick Dempsey shot a scene for his show Devils in Rome

Page 16: Rachel Brosnahan in a blue dress and carrying a clear umbrella on the set of The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel in NYC, Lin-Manuel Miranda at the opening of a vaccination center for Broadway workers in Times Square, Trisha Yearwood feeds one of her rescue pups

Page 18: Gen Z Has Spoken -- these celebs are making the young kids proud -- Baggy Jeans -- Hailey Bieber, Tracee Ellis Ross, Bella Hadid

Page 19: Middle Parts -- Busy Philipps, Lizzo, Jennifer Lopez, Kourtney Kardashian, baguette bags -- Dua Lipa, Elsa Hosk, Irina Shayk, Kendall Jenner

Page 20: Seeing Double -- stars bear a striking resemblance to their famous counterparts -- Elizabeth Banks and Chelsea Handler, Emmanuelle Chriqui and Nina Dobrev, Betty Gilpin and Jodie Comer

Page 21: Rob Lowe and Ian Somerhalder, Jaime Pressly and Margot Robbie, Isla Fisher and Amy Adams, Rupert Grint and Ed Sheeran, Kyle Richards and Kacey Musgraves

Page 22: Clueless Crew -- stars are totally buggin' over Cher Horowitz's style in yellow plaid -- Robin Roberts on Good Morning America, Katie Holmes was rollin' with her homie beau Emilio Vitolo Jr. in NYC, Vanessa Hudgens, Dianna Agron

Page 23: Gabrielle Union

Page 24: Stars They're Not Like Us -- Jay Leno took one of his vintage automobiles out for a spin in L.A., Chrissy Teigen and John Legend took a selfie with a fan while grocery shopping in Beverly Hills, Kylie Jenner has custom vending machines

Page 25: Carrie Underwood in her massive walk-in closet, Denzel Washington signs autographs for fans in NYC, Megan Thee Stallion on a private plane, Drake and his bodyguard in Beverly Hills

Page 26: Stars They're Just Like Us -- Sarah Jessica Parker catches a yellow cab after working at her shoe store in NYC, Brad Paisley picked up five pizzas to go in Montecito

Page 27: Kelly Osbourne handed out goods at a drive-thru food distribution event at the Islamic Center of Southern California, HGTV's Egypt Sherrod transformed her closet into a meditation space in Atlanta, in between filming Law & Order: SVU's Mariska Hargitay and Ice-T take a selfie

Page 28: Hollywood Dads -- Scott Porter on parenting his two kids McCoy and Clover

Page 29: Jonathan Tucker on life with twins Hayes and India, parenthood is a lot tougher than Jovi Dufren imagined, Maksim Chmerkovskiy can't wait to show son Shai his work

Page 30: Love Lives -- Rihanna and A$AP Rocky are showing no signs of slowing down -- the pair enjoyed a night out in L.A. hotspot Delilah where they were holding hands and laughing and they're not hiding the fact that they're dating but they just don't want people in their business -- they're a good match and are each other's best friend

Page 31: Justin Bieber and Hailey Bieber may look like the picture-perfect couple, but Justin admits that their first year of marriage wasn't what he expected, saying it was really tough and there was just a lack of trust and he blamed the strain on his own personal struggles and said before he didn't have someone to love or someone to pour into but now, more than two years after exchanging vows with Hailey, he has that

* Kacey Musgraves' romance with Dr. Gerald Onuoha is giving her butterflies -- the pair are so happy they found each other and while Kacey, who split from her husband Ruston Kelly last summer, is trying not to get too ahead of herself, her connection to the Nashville-based doc is off the charts and it's got the potential to go a very long way

* Today's Savannah Guthrie is thankful to have husband Michael Feldman in her life, especially given the demands of her early morning work schedule

Page 32: Kourtney Kardashian and Travis Barker are getting serious -- all the details on their whirlwind romance

Page 33: Adapting to parenthood has been a breeze for Emma Stone and she's soaking in all the precious moments of being a mom for the first time -- she and husband Dave McCary welcomed their baby daughter in March and Emma is super protective and a very hands-on mom and Dave is also hands-on and helps with their daughter -- thanks to the little one, Emma's marriage with the comedian has also gotten stronger and having a baby has brought them closer in a way they never expected -- Emma is looking forward to getting back to work; she's taken this time off to embrace motherhood and her number one priority is to raise a healthy baby so that's what she's focused on right now

* Britney Spears is setting the record straight -- despite her ongoing conservatorship battle with her dad, Jamie Spears, she is doing totally fine, assuring fans that she's extremely happy and she has a beautiful home, beautiful children and she's taking a break right now because she's enjoying herself -- although the legal drama with her father is heating up, Britney is staying strong and she has this wonderful ability to see the positive even when the odds are against her

* Keeping Up With Us -- production for the Downton Abbey sequel is underway, Mossimo Giannulli is a free man, Chrissy Teigen returned to Twitter 23 days after announcing that she was leaving the platform, Vanessa Bryant remembered her late husband Kobe Bryant on what would have been their 20th wedding anniversary, Helen McCrory lost her battle with cancer at age 52 according to her husband Damian Lewis

Page 34: A Day in My Life -- Whitney Port

Page 35: Colton Underwood is ready to live his truth -- during an interview on Good Morning America, the former Bachelor came out as gay, saying he's run from himself for a long time and he came to terms with his sexuality earlier this year and he's the happiest and healthiest he's ever been -- now that he feels like he can finally breathe, Colton is excited for his next chapter, which fans will get to see on an upcoming reality show with Olympian Gus Kenworthy -- a huge weight has been lifted off of Colton's shoulders and he is looking forward to being his authentic self

Page 36: Moms Tell All -- Happy Mother's Day! From milestones and manners to rules and nanny-bans, celebs and insiders talk about raising kids in Hollywood

Page 37: Bindi Irwin says life at home with her daughter Grace Warrior has been positively blissful and her family with dad Chandler Powell is so full of love, adding that the newborn has already met some of the wildlife at the Australia Zoo where Bindi and Chandler live and work and of course she's seen some crocs and really lit up when she saw them -- while the Aussie conservationist is sad Grace won't get to meet her late dad Steve Irwin, Bindi's brother Robert Irwin and mom Terri Irwin have been by her side constantly and Robert is obsessed with Grace and has been helping out so much and her mom has been the biggest guiding light and she's already taught Bindi so much about being a mother, both in how she raised her and by showing her things day by day and Terri is quite the baby whisperer and she's so great a calming Grace down when she's crying -- first-time father Chandler is also a natural with Grace and he's been the most supportive and involved dad and together, he and Bindi make such a great team -- for now, Bindi, who stars with Chandler in Crikey! It's a Baby!, is hoping Grace will follow in her animal-activist footsteps, saying having three generations of strong women working as conservationists is a dream come true

* Jennifer Garner said teaching your kids is a lifelong job, and certainly values are something you have to show them -- Jennifer, who shares kids Violet, Seraphina and Samuel with ex Ben Affleck, is staying true to her word and has led by example when it comes to things like kindness and patience and she won't let anyone in the house to judge or speak ill of people, and she enforces the same wholesome, traditional values that she was raised with and the kids have been taught to be loving, hardworking and fair -- Jennifer has always taken a kids-come-first approach to parenting, and it shows as they bake together, enjoy movie nights, read books and have very active lives and it's a very healthy, happy household filled with laughter and love

Page 38: Gwen Stefani has her hands full with her sons Kingston, Zuma and Apollo with ex-husband Gavin Rossdale, but she wouldn't want it any other way -- Gwen's a tomboy, so having three boys wasn't daunting for her at all, plus she has fiance Blake Shelton by her side to pitch in with parenting duties and Gwen and the boys have a blast at Blake's ranch in Oklahoma where they enjoy riding their ATVs, and they play baseball and football -- it's not all fun and games, though because Gwen is big on boundaries and manners and she doesn't want to raise Hollywood brats and it's important to her that her sons be gentlemen

* Meghan Markle's pregnancy with Archie was no walk in the park, as she revealed during her bombshell TV interview with husband Prince Harry, the couple had concerns over whether or not the royal family would provide security for their son and claimed there were conversations about his skin color -- but this time around, as Meghan and Harry gear up for baby No. 2 at home in L.A., she's doing everything her way, without the royals and Meghan and Harry feel blessed that they're able to raise their daughter in the U.S. and can live by their own rules and make the decisions they feel are best for their children; having independence is the most important thing for Meghan and she's got free rein to be exactly the kind of mom she wants to be -- her parenting style is really like most mothers out there, and she's been craving pasta and doing yoga two times a day as her due date nears and she keeps a lot of art supplies out to foster creativity and healthy snacks around and she's a devoted mom and wants the best for her kids

Page 39: Kate Hudson has a lot on her plate, so the mom of three, who shares son Ryder with former husband Chris Robinson and son Bingham with ex Matt Bellamy and daughter Rani with boyfriend Danny Fujikawa, knows when to put her foot down as things can get a little overwhelming at times for Kate, but when she says no, it absolutely means no, and the kids respect her very much because of that

* Gigi Hadid, who shares daughter Khai with boyfriend Zayn Malik, wants to spend every waking moment with her precious little girl -- Gigi could easily afford to employ a team of nannies but chooses not to and she prefers to do everything herself and besides, she can't bear to be away from Khai for more than a few hours

* Candace Cameron Bure's three grown kids are flying the coop, but she's still super involved in their lives, despite slowly becoming an empty nester -- the mom of Natasha, Lev, and Maksim with former hockey player Valeri Bure says it's been a very transitional time and she's been trying to help them make decisions they feel good about and it's challenging, but they're figuring it out

Page 40: Oh, Baby! Meghan Markle's due date is just around the corner, and here are all the details

* Bump Brigade -- Halsey, Gal Gadot, Shawn Johnson East

Page 42: 10 Years of the Cambridges -- a look back at Prince William and Duchess Kate Middleton's solid marriage for their anniversary

Page 44: Jennifer Lopez and Alex Rodriguez: What Really Happened -- cheating and lies? The truth behind J.Lo's split from fiance A-Rod

Page 45: Friendliest Exes -- these former couples managed to stay close after going their separate ways -- Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin, Jennifer Aniston and Justin Theroux, Orlando Bloom and Miranda Kerr, Demi Moore and Bruce Willis, Lisa Bonet and Lenny Kravitz

Page 48: Gifts for Mother's Day

Page 54: Entertainment -- Ben Barnes on Shadow and Bone

Page 58: Fashion Police -- the most daring Oscars looks -- Bjork, Whoopi Goldberg, Charlize Theron

Page 59: Rachel Weisz, Gwyneth Paltrow, Lady Gaga

Page 60: 25 Things You Don't Know About Me -- Julia Michaels

[isaaclovestoystory]

Upon a rewatch I've decided that I'm going to rewrite a big majority of Toy Story 4. So without further ado, here we go.

So the opening stays the same for the most part, as it shows how Bo left the group, but I think all I'll change the ending of that scene. So instead of Bo telling Woody to go with her, She should be telling him to stay with Andy, and he reluctantly agrees, (I'd also have Jessie and maybe Buzz be there, just to show they had a friendship, as Pixar confirmed they were, and the actual movie literally only had them interact once at the end of the movie). So then the montage happens, and we see the toys in the closet. 

Now things happen slimier to the movie except, Bonnie doesn't forget about Woody and includes him in play time. Also Jessie calls Dolly out on her bullshit. Honestly Dolly refused to let Woody talk, even know he had more experience than she did and she was never called out on it, not even once. That was just stupid writing. anyways Woody goes to kindergarten with Bonnie, she makes a friend with a little girl, and goes home to be told that they're going on a road trip. Woody tells the toys, Jessie jumps up and down, she's full of excitement from it. and the other toys are happy. Jessie and Buzz show affection, (This is mirroring Mr and Mrs Potato Head in Toy Story 2) , and Woody feels alone.

That night, Woody sits at the window, looking out at the big round moon. Buzz and Jessie climb over to him. they talk about Bo and how much Woody misses her. (If you wanted you could have a song here, but you don't have to, These movies usually have at least 3 sung songs in the movie). the next morning the toys go on the road trip, montage happens, we see Poultry Palace, Pizza Planet, Dinoco and just Toy Story cameo's galore. Then when the RV is parked , Woody, Buzz and Jessie talk about their inner voice (Don't worry Buzz isn't confused), (So this is just Woody saying that his inner voice is telling him to go find Bo, but he doesn’t want to leave his friends) Woody looks out the window and Thinks he sees a glimpse of Bo's dress and goes to investigate, and in the process he falls off the van. Buzz and Jessie watch in horror as 2 dark creatures take Woody away. Jessie attempts to leap into the action and free her brother but Buzz stops her.

Woody is taken into the woods. He is taken into a hole next to a tree trunk and dropped into a basket. He looks around and see's that his attackers was just 2 remote control cars with a few toys on them. He hears a female and turns seeing Bo Peep. She wears her TS4 outfit, with a grey jacket on top. She has a small gathered skirt on the back of her legs (Original dress). they talk. she tells him about Santa Bear, a bear who looks like Santa Clause, He's kidnapping toys and enslaving them, and forcing them to build him a gigantic empire, and that Bo's part of the resistance, that's fighting against them. Woody joins them.

Bo takes Woody to Santa Bears palace made of cut down tree's and tells him about how she was almost cut in half by him. While they are going back they are ambushed by a few of Santa Bears goons. They throw Woody onto the dirt and attempt to rip his arm off. Bo quickly dispatches them (This is here to shows how bad-ass she is).

That morning Buzz, Jessie, Bullseye, Rex, Slinky, Hamm. Potato Head and Trixe go out to find Woody. they travel into the woods, and find Tyre tracks, they start following them. Woody and Bo talk to Duke, Ducky and Bunny, Giggle, Gabby Gabby and Wheezy. Woody talks to Bo, and is about to tell Bo that he loves her, they hear toys call out in shock and horror. they hear laughing. Santa Bear walks in, He talks with Bo and threatens Woody with a knife and leaves talking more than half of the toys with him. Woody and Bo argue about what they should do and Bo takes her group away to go fight Santa Bear and save her friends.Woody feels down and starts to go back to the RV. 

Santa bear finds Buzz, Jessie and co. he attempts takes them as well, but Jessie is able to get Buzz and Rex out of his clutches and they escape while, Jessie and co are taken.

Woody goes back only to find out that most of his friends went out to find him. Woody talks to Mr. Pricklepants, who tells Woody that this is the hero's low moment and that he can save everything. Woody leaves to go help his friends. Bo and her group try to fight, but Santa Bear's small group of toys overwhelms them, Bo is taken prisoner, and her group is taken to a small area where the rest of their friends and Andy's/Bonnie's toys are, (Except Jessie and Bullseye) Woody finds Buzz and Rex, who tell him that Santa Bear  took Jessie and Co. and they go to save them. 

Once at the tree palace, Woody and Buzz split up. Buzz and Rex find the toys and free them starting a battle. Buzz escapes the fight and searches for Jessie. Bo is tied to a pole in a throne room. Santa bear sees the battle below. Santa Bear attempts to be with Bo, but she refuses. He doesn't take no for an answer and attempts to be with her, but is stopped by Woody. while they fight, Bo frees herself and uses Santa Bears knife to rip him open. (We don't see this happening, but we do see fluff). Woody and Bo run out to help with the battle.

Buzz runs out of the palace and see's a fire and see's Jessie and Bullseye tied up, close to it. Buzz fights the goons, and Jessie uses a stick to untie herself and Bullseye. They watch as the fire stars getting bigger and bigger, Buzz and Jessie get on Bullseye and start galloping away from it. Woody and Bo see the flames and start running, all the toys run, the fire roar behind them.  

Back at the Rv, a bunch of fire fighters try to put out the fire, while the toys desperately try to escape the flames. Jessie and Buzz ridding on Bullseye grab Slinky and Rex, and escape the forest. Mr. Potato Head, Hamm and Trixe escape right after them.They see their a way away from the humans, and start making sure that everyone's okay. Buzz is holding the weeping Jessie (She thinks her brother was killed in the flames) and Bullseye.

Woody and Bo run as fast as they can, Bo's leg is grabbed by Santa bears top half. She attempts to kick him away, and Woody throws him into the fire.He fire-lifts her and runs out of the woods holding her in his arms. Jessie sees Woody and Bo. She hugs them, and they all watch as the fire rolls out of control. Bo spends a few minutes telling the toys about her friends, especially (Giggle and Gabby Gabby).Bo knowing that there's nothing left for her in the woods, she decides to join Woody and Co at Bonnie's, they sneak back to the RV, and just a few minutes after they got back to the RV, they were told to evacuate, as the fire was getting out of control, and might have civilian casualties. As the RV leaves Woody, Buzz, Bo, Bullseye and Jessie watch as a helicopter tips water on the fire.

The during credits scene, is just the introduction to Forky with the rest of the toys, Buzz, Bo and Jessie help Woody teach Forky he's a toy, and The girl toys become best friends. We see that the Fire fighters were able to stop the fire, in the post credit scene. And that’s it, I know its bad, its probably wore than Cars 2, but like, still, I wanted to try to rewrite TS4 and I did

[photolover82]

The Masked Singer Season 4 Episode 2: Group B kicking it off... with a twist!! Guesses and Commentary

Hello my fellow Masked Singer guys and gals! It's that time of the week again (albeit I am a bit late, but let's go with it), time for Ana's Masked Singer recap woohoo! *insert fanfare here* This episode was such an insane one not gonna lie, Group B came in with a bang like wow... let's just get into it because it's a crazy episode in it of itself.

Firstly, I gotta point out the contestants of Group B, which this time were 6 unlike A and C which only have 5 contestants total.. and those 6 are (order from left to right, top row first then bottom row in the image below) Crocedile, Gremlin (the purple fluffy guy), Seahorse, Whatchamacallit (the blue and red hair cousin It thing), Baby Alien, and Serpent.

Alrighty so this elimination is gonna be a bit different than usual because it isn't the norm of what usually happens with these sorts of things (I'll tell you what I mean in a sec)...

So the first contestant unmasked for Group B actually wasn't eliminated (I know what you are thinking... "whaaatttt Anaaaaa that makes no sense")... but actually he unmasked himself (whatttt?! yeah you read that right, he legit was hot and suffocating and he seemed super over it and just took it off by himself... yup, that happened like what mind blown!

Anyways the mask who did this was...

*DRUMROLL PLEASE*

THE GREMLIN

Performance: He sang Stand by Me by Ben E. King and honestly it was meh, it was really breathy as if he forgot some of the words, I don’t know if he was overcome with emotion (because he dedicated it to his friend who passed away) or what, I felt kind of bad but I low key feel like he was going to go home regardless, but on the bright side I love the costume and it was a great song choice for his range. He has a very raspy voice... like almost like a smoker’s voice and I can kind of tell that he’s an older man, but I couldn’t recognize the singer. 

So the Gremlin ended up being revealed to be.... 

*DRUMROLL PLEASE*

MICKEY ROURKE 

Ugh this upsets me because I don’t know who he is so I really couldn’t guess him correctly. I searched it up and apparently he’s an actor and director and was in Iron Man 2, which I’ve never seen like ever. But yeah, he did good, he looked kinda drunk not gonna lie and I guess he was suffocated and got over it. 

Alright now that that’s out of the way, let’s get to my favorite part, the remaining 5 contestants: 

1. THE SEAHORSE

Performance: I really love Seahorse, she’s one of my favorites of the night and so far in the season in general. Her performance of Rihanna’s Only Girl in the World was amazing and I definitely knew who that voice is...

My guess and I am so sure about this guys is singer, songwriter, American Idol alum... 

TORI KELLY 

Dude like that voice is so recognizable... but also because of the clues: 

Emotion Ocean= she’s super emotional when it comes to songwriting, like she legit said in an interview that she cries a lot

Tea Party= she hosted tea parties with her fans in 2019 (well before all this ofc) 

Rainbow Frog= sang Rainbow Connection with Kermit the Frog 

Judges’ Guesses: 

Jenny: Halsey (say what now? This doesn’t sound like her... is Jenny ok? This episode she’s been messing up with guesses more than Ken... you’ll see what I mean) 

Nicole: Hailee Steinfeld (meh, that’s ok I guess, but not quite) 

Robin: Bebe Rexha (he was onto something when he said country but then he said this, but this is the closest guess of the 3)  

2. THE SERPENT 

Performance: This one is my other favorite of this group. His performance of “I’m Gonna Be (500 Miles)” by The Proclaimers was absolutely stunning, I got chills! If it is who I think it is, I love him (partially because I think I know who it can be) 

I think the Serpent can be actor of the iconic Broadway sensation Hamilton aka Aaron Burr, Sir:

LESLIE ODOM JR. 

Dude like I feel pretty good about this guess because of the voice and the clues:

Map of the Caribbean= reference to the beginning of Hamilton where Alexander Hamilton is from

Jr. References= he’s a jr. 

Between medicine & music= he played a doctor on Murder on the Orient Express in 2017

Number 31118 (this was from the Sunday before the premiere but still worth noting)= 3 albums, 11 stage productions, 18 years on Broadway OR bible verse Romans 3:11-18 which was written by Paul, a character he played on Rent

Judges’ Guesses:

Jenny: John Legend (See what I’m saying? Jenny, what are you doing man? That is not John Legend, like they don’t sound alike at all) 

Ken: Daveed Diggs (Wow! Ken got it kinda close, I’m proud, that’s an achievement for him we gotta give it to him) 

Nicole: Leslie Odom Jr. (WOOOO!! Yesss Nicole!!) 👏🏼

3. THE CROCODILE 

Performance: I also really liked Crocodile and his performance of It’s My Life by Bon Jovi was great! I feel like I know who this is, and I am pretty familiar (well, more or less) with 90s and early 2000s boybands and this one is someone in that realm I am so sure of it... 

Ok so being more specific, I think it’s boybander from The Backstreet Boys: 

NICK CARTER 

The voice and the clues were a dead giveaway:

The Vegas vibes in the clue package= he performed in Vegas with Backstreet Boys 

Water clues (the water slide and happiest in water)= he was born in Orlando, FL home of the theme parks and FL is also some of the Gators so it would makes sense with the costume

Grew up in Hollywood= moved there when really young

Judges’ Guesses:

Ken: John Hamm (and he’s back, that was a terrible guess)

Nicole: Nick Lachey (so close, but not quite)

Robin: Donnie Wahlberg (um, Jenny agreed, how does she not know that this ain’t your husband?!) 

4. THE WHATCHAMACALLIT

Performance:  His performance of “I Wish” by Skee-Lo was good, not my favorite, but I didn’t hate it. I am kind of feeling that it’s an athlete due to the height and also how he speaks. 

So this guess is an idea I got from the Internet (subject to change because I have no clue about sports players): 

Rashad Jennings?

The only thing I got from the clues was:

Dancing with Stars= he won DWTS 

Clues IDK

Orange Jelly= ?

The clock with the Bear Mask on the 5= ? 

Swinging Keys= ?

Judges’ Guesses:

Nicole= Swiss Beats (meh idk) 

Ken: Damon Lillard (I like this guess, tbh.. I kinda agree with it being a sports player)

Robin: Tyler the Creator (that would be cool but I don’t think so) 

5. THE BABY ALIEN

Performance: His performance of Faith by George Micheals was good too, better than I expected for the costume ngl. I had pretty low expectations but I am pleasantly surprised. He isn’t my favorite by any means and I am also a bit stumped by him especially because of that fake Russian accent, but I am in between 2 people at the moment....

The 2 people I am in between are either Ventriloquist Jeff Dunham or actor 

JASON SEGEL 

It kinda sounds like him and the clues are a bit confusing but there’s one I understand too:

Tony Awards Reference= he’s been on Broadway 

The mask’s a puppet and Segel is a big fan of puppets (He was also in the Muppets movie) 

CLUES IDK 

Space clues= ?

Friends Reference (2nd Gear)= ?

Ferris Beuller references= ?

Judges’ Guesses:

Jenny: Ralph Macchio (meh I guess that’s good) 

Nicole: David Schwimmer (not bad, but idk it doesn’t really sound like it)

Ken: Freddie Prinze Jr. (ya, no) 

Alright so that’s it! I am so sorry for it being late, but better late than never... I’ve been pretty busy so hopefully this weekend I will have tonight’s episode recap up... THANK YOU FOR READING AND I WILL SEE YOU IN THE NEXT ONE *blows kiss* byeeee! 

[marvelousmatt]

The Accidental Comedy of Matt Berry

The star of IFC’s detective-series spoof ‘Year of the Rabbit,’ famed for his booming voice and over-the-top faces, never set out to be funny

Matt Berry as Detective Inspector Rabbit in 'Year of the Rabbit.'  Ben Meadows/IFC

If you know Matt Berry from his most famous roles — such as The IT Crowd’s idiot boss Douglas Reynholm, Toast of London’s pompous struggling actor Steven Toast, or the preening and lascivious vampire Laszlo on What We Do in the Shadows — talking to him over the phone is sort of like meeting his un-evil twin. Where his characters are outrageous and inappropriate, Berry is circumspect and gentlemanly. While they pronounce every word as if they’re doing Shakespeare in the Park, with a ponderous theatricality, his signature rich baritone comes over the line from London sounding muted by comparison. It’s as though he’s playing the straight man in a sketch of his own life.

Whatever absurd and profane notions he has rattling around in his head, Berry saves them for his work. His latest offering, IFC’s Year of the Rabbit (a collaboration among Berry, producer Ben Farrell, and writers Andy Riley and Kevin Cecil), is a send-up of the period detective shows that are a staple of British television. Set in Victorian times, it centers on his titular character, Rabbit, a cranky copper who bumbles through every episode but slyly solves the whodunit in the end — a kind of gruff, English Columbo in a waistcoat. In the “why not” fashion typical of Berry’s comedy, the character is missing an eyebrow (a trait the show repeatedly explains away with the intentionally unconvincing line that it was chewed off by a dog last Christmas). He’s named Rabbit — his actual first name, with no surname — not because of any correlation with, say, the Chinese calendar, but because… well, just because.

“His father couldn’t be bothered giving any of the kids any normal names, so he just named them after animals and then left them outside a church,” Berry says matter-of-factly, as if Rabbit and his father are real. Pressed on the matter, he adds, “We have a huge history over here of these shows, Agatha Christie and stuff, and they all have these names, Inspector This and That. I just wanted to do something stupid with that — give him an animal name and not anything else. So he really is as earthy as you can get in that way. There’s nothing fancy about him at all.”

Rabbit is an inveterate boozehound with a colorful vocabulary. He beats up a schoolteacher on career day to demonstrate interrogation techniques to the children. He tells his rookie partner that the way to keep warm during a wintertime stakeout is to piss himself. He describes the London of his day as “a rat eating its own babies. Babies made of shit. And once it’s eaten its own shit babies, it shits them out again.” He is paired, reluctantly, with two bright-eyed and bushy-tailed colleagues to form a crack investigative team, a juxtaposition which only underscores his baser qualities.

“He’s basically trying to hide the fact that he’s incredibly hungover and not firing on all cylinders,” Berry says. “Whereas his younger sidekicks won’t be, because when you’re that young, you know, you get over a hangover by like 10 o’clock in the morning. I wanted him to be dull, in terms of reactions to things, but effective.”

Robert Bathurst, Matt Berry, and Harry Peacock in Toast of London. Photo Credit: Kuba Wieczorek/IFC/CH4

Ineptitude and buffoonery are much more the calling cards of Steven Toast, whose massive ego blinds him to his own failings. He is an oblivious object of mockery at the hands of his voiceover producers, a pair of douchey hipsters named Clem Fandango and Danny Bear, and his mistress, Mrs. Purchase (wife of Toast’s acting nemesis Ray “Bloody” Purchase), looks eternally bored during their trysts. His long-suffering agent has to force him to become a laxative pitchman, yet he complains that she’s not scoring him Oscar-caliber roles.

If Toast is the character closest to Berry’s heart, it’s for good reason. Despite a brand of humor that seems firmly rooted in the British tradition — the surreality and silliness of Python, the cartoonish prurience of Benny Hill — Berry, 45, maintains that he wasn’t especially interested in comedy growing up. He cites as his primary influence not comedic greats such as Peter Sellers or contemporaries like Steve Coogan, but “straight actors, people that normally weren’t trying to be funny.” The more “mannered” and “self-important” the star, Berry says, the funnier he found them. The line to Toast is clear — especially in his puffed-up diction and bizarrely exaggerated pronunciation of ordinary words (such as his praise of guest-star Jon Hamm’s “charismaaaaaaaeeeeeee”). Imagine the famous outtakes of a drunk Orson Welles filming a Paul Masson wine commercial, and you’re on the right track.

Berry’s career in comedy came as a complete surprise to him. He grew up in the hamlet of Bromham in Bedfordshire, about two hours north of London, in a wholly unartistic family who had “normal, decent jobs,” he says. “My mom was a nurse, my sister went into law — nothing like what I ended up doing.” Still, his parents were totally supportive — worried, but supportive — as he stumbled through temp gigs and patches of unemployment as a young man.

He was far more interested in painting and music — and, in fact, today is an accomplished musician who’s recorded eight studio albums (prog rock-ish, inflected with funk) as well as the scores and themes to numerous TV series, including Toast. That show’s frequent musical interludes, gonzo song parodies a la Crazy Ex-Girlfriend, speak to Berry’s true comedic beginnings. In between stints at the London Dungeon — a haunted-house experience where actors play figures from gruesome corners of the city’s past, like Jack the Ripper — he managed to book solo gigs as a singer-songwriter. But he found that spiking his performances with humor won over a crowd.

Natasia Demetriou and Berry in What We Do In the Shadows.  Byron Cohen/FX

“I was playing before comedians, and the gigs just seemed to go quicker and better if I put some comedy into the songs or the bits in between the songs,” Berry says. “I only did it so I’d fit in with what was going on after. Then I really got to like it.”

Fellow performers Richard Ayoade and Matthew Holness noticed his act, and cast Berry in a horror/sci-fi spoof they created called Garth Marenghi’s Darkplace. From there, his television career exploded, with recurring roles in several series before his breakout in 2007 with The IT Crowd. Despite a nomination for “best newcomer” at that year’s British Comedy Awards and a 2015 BAFTA for Best Male Performance in a Comedy for Toast, Berry insists he doesn’t have any particular aptitude for the form, and draws a blank when it comes to defining his style. Mostly, he chalks it up to timing (“Whether it’s music or comedy, that’s the most important thing for me”) — as well as a lack of training.

“I’m not held back by any sort of rules and regulations in terms of performance,” he says. “I’ll just do what feels natural, and because nobody’s said in the past, ‘Well you can’t really do that, because of this,’ you just do it. If it works, it works, and if it doesn’t, you just try something else.”

He does acknowledge one foolproof stylistic flourish that may be deeply ingrained: a true relish for the scatological and sophomorically sexual. See: Laszlo’s vulva topiaries, or the preposterously elastic faces Toast makes while he’s shagging Mrs. P (“Hang on — my balls are about to fizzzz!”) or pleasuring himself to old-timey images of women in military uniforms. A key moment in Rabbit involves the inspector having a pocketful of dog poop.

“I suppose that’s the British toilet humorist in me,” Berry admits. “It doesn’t matter where you go in Europe, toilet humor is enjoyed by all. Being from the U.K., it’s in you, like, from birth. You know, if you’re little and people are laughing at something all around you, it kind of sticks. If it’s something that my granddad laughs at and my dad laughs at, there’s a good chance that I’ll laugh at it, too.”

[disneytva]

Bright Lights, Big City Greens – Everything You Need to Know About Season Two

We’ve seen the Green family get wrapped up in a lot of hilarious shenanigans and adventures, but that was just the beginning. With their Gramma Alice and their mom and dad, Nancy and Bill, 10-year-old Cricket Green and his sister Tilly continue to navigate life in the bustling city with heartwarming zest. Created by comic book creators and brothers Chris and Shane Houghton, the animated comedy series Big City Greens centers on the heart of the show, the core Green family, but season two aims to expand their world and relationships a little further.

Ahead of the Big City Greens season premiere on Disney Channel and in DisneyNOW on November 16 (9:30 a.m. EST/PST), we spoke with Shane and Chris about what’s next for Cricket Green and the gang, their holiday special, and why taking risks is ultimately pretty good.

In season two, the city gets a little bigger.

“We continue to expand the world because in season one we spent a lot of time with just the core Greens, so in season two we really deep dive into some of the characters,” Chris said. Remy and Andromeda—Cricket and Tilly’s best friends, respectively— and Gloria are a handful of characters who will return with expanded roles. Even the cocky Chip Whistler comes back as “an even bigger and badder bad guy,” Chris teased. There is also a new character named Gregly (voiced by Tim Robinson), who Shane describes as “an angry, spiteful child that no one wants to hang out with.”

The guest stars of Big City Greens give it their all.

The first season of Big City Greens saw incredible guest stars, from actors Jon Hamm and Raven-Symoné to The Muppets’ Fozzie Bear, and season two follows suit with Christopher Lloyd, Lucy Lawless, Alfred Molina, and Jameela Jamil, just to name a few! In fact, NBA All-Star Karl-Anthony Towns guest stars on a future episode giving an all-star voice performance. “We had two roles for two basketball players and needed someone who could come in and do two different voices,” Shane said. “And Karl-Anthony Towns was so down to do this. He came in with two drastically different voices that turned out great and were so funny.”

Queer Eye’s Jonathan Van Ness also makes a guest appearance in a role he was born to play: Confident Stylist. Well, maybe not born to play, but the role was specifically written with him in mind, said Shane. Chris chimed in, sharing, “It was a bit of a swing on our part, but I think those big swings make a difference. It’s been so cool to have these folks who’ve been on high-profile projects come in [for Big City Greens] and give it their all.”

One guest star inspired a new storyline for their character.

Then there is Gwendolyn Zapp—the show’s version of a rich tech mogul. Voiced by Cheri Oteri of Saturday Night Live fame, Zapp is introduced in the very first episode of the season, “Car Troubles.” Shane describes the character as “a little kooky, with big dreams”—and his brother Chris jokes that Zapp “is absolutely insane!”

Oteri’s character was originally slated for only one episode, but the brothers agreed she was too good to let go. “She absolutely kills us every time she’s in the booth… and was just too funny, so we had to bring her back,” Chris said. “Now, Gwendolyn Zapp has become a big part of season two.”

Get ready for a Big City Greens holiday special complete with seven original songs.

It’s almost a rite of passage for a hit show to debut its own Christmas special, and now, Big City Greens will have its very own “Green Christmas,” which is fittingly the title of the episode as well. As big musical theater fans—both Chris and Shane did musical theater all throughout high school—the brothers and Big City Greens composer Joachim Horsley made sure the seven original songs were crafted just right.

“Normally, the score for Big City Greens is digitally created, but for this, we got to go to Capitol Records and Chris and I got to sit in with a full, live orchestra playing the score,” Shane adds. “It was a truly magical and mind-blowing experience. We’re so proud of how the holiday special turned out.”

When it comes to their upcoming CG-animated episode, it’s game on.

In another first for the series, Big City Greens will debut a video game-themed episode with CG animation. Normally the show is animated in 2-D, but when it comes to Big City Greens, the brothers gravitate to challenging and unusual concepts like moths to a flame. “Whether it’s weird creatively or risky, if we come up with an idea, and it scares us, we usually get excited by it,” Chris shared.

For the CG-animated episode, the crew collaborated with an outside studio to produce this uniquely weird-looking episode, which Chris said is exactly what they were going for. “I think we pulled it off?” Chris questions, jokingly. “I think so,” Shane answers, with a laugh. “It’s a challenge to do something outside of the normal pipeline, but it’s really fun.”

[hawkins-indiana-circa-1983]

An Idea that I had

Tommy and Carol don’t show up to Billy’s funeral. There are very few people even there. Susan, Max, and Neil had shown, but Neil looked as if he’d been dragged there. Didn’t even shed a tear. Of course the party had shown to support Max, El holding her hand the entire time and Will standing silently next to her, being the only one who really knew what Billy had gone through. Steve had shown, his head ducked the whole time so no one could see him cry. Robin showed to support Steve, but she told everyone it was because she’d partnered up with Billy once in Mrs. Hamm’s English class. Still, there was no one else from Hawkins High that had even tried to show. Not even Tommy and Carol.  The two people who had pretended to stick by him throughout his time at Hawkins High, not even showing their faces for a minute. Steve was disgusted. Did no one really have the courtesy to show up to a funeral for a kid they all knew? Not even those that claimed to be his friends?  And then the funeral ended and they all went their separate ways to grieve on their own or at least pretend to.  Then a week later, Steve saw Tommy and Carol at the drugstore. Carol was hanging off of Tommy’s arm, talking about something he clearly wasn’t interested in as he smoked and nodded along. For some reason, Steve was pissed. How could they just stand there, and pretend like everything was okay after they didn’t even come to Billy’s funeral.  He clenched his jaw and breathed out through his nose as he stormed up to them.  Tommy spotted him before he approached, shooting him a smile as he pulled his arm out of Carol’s grip, stepping down from the sidewalk. “Hey Harrington, It’s been-”  Before he could even finish the sentence, Steve drew back, punching him across the face. He’d lost fights in the past, this time, he learned from his mistakes. Instead of waiting for Tommy to get his bearings, he grabbed him by the shoulders and kneed him in the crotch while he was still holding his jaw, and pushed him to the ground when he bent over to cup his crotch. Carol screamed, but Steve just ignored her. “That’s for Billy you piece of shit,” he spat, storming inside as Carol yelled after him.  When he returned the two were gone and he smiled a bit to himself. He could hear Billy’s voice in his head. “Nice job Harrington, you finally showed that asshole what you’re made of.” He could feel himself tearing up so he kept his head down as he walked back, only letting himself really cry when he was alone in the safety of his car. He looked up at the necklace that Billy would never take off -that Max had given to him at the funeral- where it hung on the rearview mirror and he smiled again. Billy would’ve been proud of him. That’s all that mattered. 

[grannyandgrandpascreations]

Look Who's Back! Hamms Bear Sweatshirt

Looking for a pullover that is just as comfortable at the gym as it is lounging around the house? Check out this “Hamms Bear, Look Who’s Back!” Active French Terry Crew Pullover that provides you with ultimate comfort and style.

This sweatshirt is durable and made from soft French terry fabric that has recycled polyester, this active sweatshirt will not only keep you cool with your workouts heating up but also is environmentally friendly. This sweatshirt features a hint of spandex to make movements easy while feeling comfortable. 65% recycled polyester, 30% Rayon and 5% Spandex, soft French Terry Fabric with a relaxed fit. Stretch for ease in movement with moisture wicking and tag less.

Care instructions: Turn item inside out, machine wash cold, no bleach, no softener. Do not dry clean. Do not iron. Tumble dry low.

Due to different picture lighting settings the actual color might vary a bit from the pictures.

Current Turnaround Time due to upcoming Holidays - 1-5 Business Days. While we always use priority shipping options, once shipped we cannot guarantee delivery due to the backlog current being experienced USPS/UPS/FedEx. If you have a strict deadline, please message me when ordering so that I can note any rush requests. Ownership of packages turned over to USPS transfers to the Buyer. We are not responsible for lost, held, damaged packages or delayed packages, once your package(s) leaves our Shop it is completely out of our control. Thank you for understanding!

#grannygrandpascustomcreations - #Hamms - #Hammsbear - #sweatshirt

Looking for a pullover that is just as comfortable at the gym as it is lounging around the house? Check out this “Hamms Bear, Look Who’s Back!” Active French Terry Crew Pullover that provides you with ultimate comfort and style.

This sweatshirt is durable and made from soft French terry fabric that has recycled polyester, this active sweatshirt will not only keep you cool with your workouts heating up but also is environmentally friendly. This sweatshirt features a hint of spandex to make movements easy while feeling comfortable. 65% recycled polyester, 30% Rayon and 5% Spandex, soft French Terry Fabric with a relaxed fit. Stretch for ease in movement with moisture wicking and tag less.

Care instructions: Turn item inside out, machine wash cold, no bleach, no softener. Do not dry clean. Do not iron. Tumble dry low.

Due to different picture lighting settings the actual color might vary a bit from the pictures.

Current Turnaround Time due to upcoming Holidays - 1-5 Business Days. While we always use priority shipping options, once shipped we cannot guarantee delivery due to the backlog current being experienced USPS/UPS/FedEx. If you have a strict deadline, please message me when ordering so that I can note any rush requests. Ownership of packages turned over to USPS transfers to the Buyer. We are not responsible for lost, held, damaged packages or delayed packages, once your package(s) leaves our Shop it is completely out of our control. Thank you for understanding!

#grannygrandpascustomcreations - #Hamms - #Hammsbear - #sweatshirt

[frigfridge]

just finished rewatching toy story 1 thru 3 over the past few days, wanted to share my thoughts:

i love these movies a whole lot. the first 2 hold a bunch of nostalgia for me because i was A Baby when 2 came out and when i was also A Baby i would just watch our VHS copy of toy story 1 over and over again. this also makes me the exact age group to be emotionally destroyed by toy story 3, which came out just as i was entering high school and hit really close to home

individual thoughts:

toy story: the first thing i noticed was it still looks really nice even watching in 2019!! which i think is kind of spectacular for the first feature-length computer-animated film. it no doubt helps that the plot is mostly focused on little plastic dolls without realistic hair or clothing to animate but the semi-”cartoon” art direction means the human characters also look pretty nice without going too far into the uncanny valley.

also, the plot is WAY darker than i remember?? not because of sid and all the body horror toys, but because for like half of the movie woodys friends think hes an actual (toy) murderer carrying around the severed arm of his victim (!!) like, its hilarious, but also wow theres a LONG way to go between there and the climax of toy story 3.

the soundtrack is probably my favorite of the bunch. part of that is probably nostalgia but i just really like the consistency of having randy newman singing every song. it sort of elevates him to part of the story, like an omniscient narrator singing woodys (and later buzzs) inner monologue. 2 (and especially 3) didnt have as many musical numbers, which i can understand with a shift to a larger-scale approach to storytelling, but i really like the feeling it gives number 1. “you got a friend in me” is an obvious classic thats been remixed and brought back in just about every piece of toy story media im aware of, but “strange things” and “i will go sailing no more” deserve just as much recognition and praise. there just isnt a weak number among them

toy story 2: heres where the story started getting bigger and more existential, which basically becomes the new direction of the series. which makes sense! this one released 4 years after the first, and while theres no real timeskip in the story (maybe 6 months?) it had been a little while since we last saw woody and the gang. everybody in the real world had gotten older, and with the turn of the millennium approaching, the theme of impermanence loomed large in the collective unconscious. well, maybe not in my unconscious, because i was 2. but its really interesting as kind of a “time capsule” to what people were thinking about as the 90s came to a close.

so toy story 2 was a little more grounded, a little more focus on the human world, but it was also more fantastical in its presentation. the opening “video game” sequence (which still looks amazing!!) and woodys nightmare (”i dont wanna play with you anymore...”) show the animators at pixar really found their groove and started getting experimental. and to great result!! the fantasy sequences are a lot of fun and help 2 really stand out.

i would be remiss not to mention jessies flashback song here. its something else they hadnt really done in the first film and i think it really works. jessie in this film unfortunately doesnt get to do much other than fight with woody about whether he should stay or go (except for when she saves him in the end) but this song makes her character work. it also helps that it destroys me every time

also i think this is the movie that gave me an appreciation for the acting of kelsey grammer. i dont really agree with his politics (i also dont know specifically what they are) but he is a damn fine actor and gives the prospector a very genuinely intimidating edge after his heel turn. the casting really makes the character here, but thats nothing new for toy story-- every voice works. if i were the casting director, i probably wouldnt have pulled erudite kelsey grammer for a character named “stinky pete,” but as it is now i couldnt imagine him voiced by anyone else.

the last thing about toy story 2 is it feels like there were a lot more pop culture references? at least as far as i noticed. there are apparently even more than i noticed but i caught on to the “also sprach zarathustra” riff in the opening, and the jurassic park rearview mirror gag. and of course the extended star wars reference with zurg vs. utility belt buzz (and i guess zurg in general.) the references are cute and mostly unobtrusive but really i could take or leave them.

oh yeah also al is hilarious. just this rude, neurotic businessman whos incredibly self-important for the owner of a minor(?) toy store chain. hes such a puffed-up jerk, every time hes on-screen is a delight

toy story 3: this one kills me to death. i always get misty-eyed during “when somebody loved me” but the ending of 3 where andy introduces his toys to bonnie and plays with them one last time made me sob the first time i watched it. and it still does! thats the long game right there, thats the payoff of over 10 years loving these characters. its an emotional ketchup bomb, everything gets all messy and soggy and sweet. hopefully 4 can follow up, but im not really worried about that-- ive heard some good things. damn, its been 9 years since this movie came out, though! it really doesnt feel all that long, but i guess i havent been doing all that much

i actually dont know if i have much else to say about 3. the opening with the re-imagining of the previous films openings (woody versus one-eyed bart, buzz and woody vs. the evil dr. porkchop) is a highlight, although theres a conspicuous lack of bo peep. ive heard she has a big part in 4, but it was kind of weird to see a lot of toys missing and their absence (mostly) glossed over after the first few minutes. i miss r.c. and lenny, but i get they wanted to narrow down the cast so all of them could get in on the plot.

speaking of which, the escape scene is great too. its kind of a crystallizing moment of how close these characters are, and how well they work together. it reminds me a lot of the escape from sids house in the first movie, but there woody was working with sids body-horror toys and seemed to strike up a rapport with them bizarrely quickly. (speaking of which, i miss those toys! their designs were super cool, but i cant imagine they got much merchandise, especially babyface with the sharp, metal spider legs.) here, though, woody and the gang cooperate the best they ever have, and it really paints a picture of how close theyve become over the years, and justifies the emotional climax in the landfill. this is what i was talking about when i said i was surprised how dark toy story 1 got! these toys all hated woodys guts back then for what they thought he did to buzz. they kicked him out of a moving truck! its just weird to think about that conflict between them when you know how long they end up sticking together. but thats, like, neat, so its ok. it feels earned, its just kind of crazy in hindsight.

toy story 3 was also obviously made long after the first two-- by comparison, the lighting is way more sophisticated, the humans are a lot more detailed. theres just a lot more detail In General. the main cast is, like, super dirty for the middle 90% of the film, and it feels like, yeah, We Have This Technology Now. we can render so many individual glitter sprinkles suck to hamms ass and they will be in every single scene. the “fur tech” on lotso and buster is also an obvious clue, especially in the flashback to lotso trudging through the rain back to his owners house. its like “look! we can make this teddy bear SO wet!” and wow! yeah! you did! so wet!

lotso himself is also an interesting villain in terms of sheer bastardness. he is just a huge jerk. he could have hit that button so easily! and he was so mean to the baby! but at the same time hes a great character in how he slowly “changes” throughout the movie. he is kind of an obvious “pixar ‘twist’ villain” but again, the amazing performance by ned beatty really saves him. also he does get a nice comeuppance at the end, which was necessary because hes really the biggest villain in the series so far. hes knowingly malicious and doesnt have any greater motive, hes just an embittered megalomaniac who (apparently) has sent other toys to be broken, thrown away, and incinerated at the landfill. he honestly deserves worse than being strapped to the front of a truck but it works for a family movie.

i have a couple more thoughts on 3 (i guess i did have a fair amount of stuff to say about it) but im getting tired of writing. the music is good as usual, but the vocal stuff being entirely back-loaded (in the credits) is a bit disappointing since ive always been a fan of the songs, but i get that they were going for something different. the jokes about ken being, uh, ‘flamboyant’ felt out of place, mostly the one at the end (”uh, buzz? barbie didnt write this”) because it comes from one of the gang and not unnamed lotso goon #3, but i guess its pretty tame in the scheme of things.

overall im really looking forward to seeing what 4 does with the series. whew!

[peggy-faces]

Mad Men rewatch: Season 1, Episode 1: Smoke Gets In Your Eyes

I finally got around to doing this months after I said I was going to start. Don’t say I never keep my promises.

I’m still trying to work out a good format for these recaps/reviews. Having watched this episode so many times before I’m not really sure how to approach this with fresh eyes but I’ll give it a shot. Bear with me, this is a learning process.

This episode is essentially just “24 hours in the life of Don Draper(with some Pete/Peggy hijinks thrown in)”. I genuinely love this and it is the perfect way to be introduced to these characters.

I won’t focus much on Don right now because there’ll be plenty more opportunities down the line, but the thing that struck me in this specific episode was the emphasis on Don’s age compared to Pete and the “younger guys”. 34 is basically a baby by today’s standards. Pete is only 8 years younger than him! Perhaps(?) the role was intended for a man in his 40s but they cast Jon Hamm instead?

A weird thing that’s always bugged me about the pilot. The show seems to set Pete up as someone who wants to take Don’s job. But Pete’s an accounts guy who never really shows that much interest in being in the creative department in the rest of the show.

Also, I’m still not totally sure what was up with Don’s “It’s Toasted” speech. That slogan has existed since the 1910s. Either Mad Men was attempting to retcon history or Don was using it as an example of a good slogan? The commentary tracks seem to suggest it was the former.

Meanwhile, a certain mousy working class girl from Brooklyn is starting her first day of work at Sterling Cooper. Peggy is my favourite fictional character in anything ever and I unironically adore her despite her faults so I’ll definitely have more to say about her in the future especially about her relationships with Don and Joan. But now I’d like to focus on her relationship with Pete.

In the closing moments of this episode, Pete shows up at Peggy’s apartment and she allows him inside, presumably so they can have sex. First of all, how the hell did Pete get her address in the first place. Secondly, Why? Why did Pete go to Peggy of all people? Why did Peggy fuck him? Let’s take a look at their previous interactions in this episode.

1. Pete insults Peggy’s appearance and insinuates that she’s sleeping with Don.

2. Pete lies to get into Don’s office and gets Peggy into trouble with Don on her first day of work.

I like this episode and I do like the Pete/Peggy arc throughout the show and they normally have amazing chemistry together. But this scene feels so inorganic that there was a lot of speculation that Pete and Peggy knew each other beforehand because that would at least make more sense than what we got.

Fun fact: according to the shooting script for this episode(easily Googlable if you want to read it), Pete arrives at Peggy’s apartment at 9:45. Which means Pete’s bachelor party must have ended at 9 at the very earliest in order for him to get to Brooklyn in time. What bachelor party ends that early in the night? And Pete must have spent chunk of time finding Peggy’s address WHICH, AGAIN, WE HAVE NO IDEA HOW HE EVEN FOUND. I like imagining Pete wandering around Brooklyn drunkenly asking random people where “Peggy” lives.

We’re also introduced to Ken, Dick, and Harry. Yes, Paul Kinsey’s name in the pilot was originally Dick but it was changed when it got picked up by AMC. Ken is the weird sleazebag and Harry is the married guy who does seem somewhat decent compared to Kinsey and Ken. Weird how things change, isn’t it? Paul’s the pretentious guy. At least that never changed.

And then, of course, there’s Sal. Hey, did you know that Sal was gay? If you didn't, you probably missed the numerous “subtle clues" that were dropped throughout this episode. And by subtle, I mean so blatant that the only way they could have been more unsubtle is if you could hear Matthew Weiner screaming "heeeeeeeeeeeeee's gayyyyyyyyyyyyyyy" in the background of every shot Sal is in. The most notorious example of this is when Sal randomly drops the line “we’re supposed to believe people are living one way and secretly thinking the exact opposite? That’s ridiculous.” It doesn’t feel organic to the conversation at hand, it just sounds weird. But if you look closely into the reflection in Sal’s eyes you can see Matthew Weiner patting himself on the back and congratulating himself on being such a genius.

But the most cringeworthy line of dialogue in the entire episode goes to: “It’s not like there’s some magic machine that makes identical copies of things.” Which is the sort of line you’d expect in an SNL parody of Mad Men, not the actual show.

The final plot twist of this episode is that we find out that Don is *gasp* married. Yes, this was actually supposed to be a plot twist. But I guess finding out that the dude who just claimed love was invented by capitalism has wife and kids would be pretty shocking if you don’t know what’s coming?

This is getting kinda long so I’ll touch more on Betty, Joan, and Roger in later instalments as they don’t get much to do here, as well as Rachel and Midge.

Random Observations

I really like the very brief interaction between Roger and Joan. I don’t know if there were was already plans for a secret relationship between the two, but it fits in well.

Elisabeth Moss seems to be affecting some sort of mild Brooklyn accent in this episode that doesn’t exist in the rest of the show. Kinda weird but it does make sense that Peggy would try to hide her working class background later on.

Is this guy in the opening scene Pete? Because he looked like Pete when I was watching it on Netflix but when I put in the DVD to listen to the commentary, he didn’t look like Pete anymore. Pete’s evil twin? Pete’s non-evil twin?

Commentary tracks

There are two commentary tracks for this episode. The first has Matthew Weiner and the second has director Alan Taylor. There wasn’t really anything particularly juicy so I just wrote down the BTS stuff that sounded interesting.

The pilot script existed for five years and Matthew Weiner used it as his writing sample when he applied for jobs.

Weiner was planning to play the role of the judgmental gynaecologist himself. Make of that what you will.

This is the only episode of Mad Men actually filmed in New York. The bar in the very first scene is a real bar in Harlem called the Lennox Lounge.

It took them a long time to cast Jon Hamm, partly because Taylor didn’t believe a man that handsome could be interesting.

Taylor calls Midge the most modern person in the show. Her apartment is a real artist’s studio on 57th street. They were warned it would be impossible to shoot there because it was on the seventeenth floor and only had a tiny elevator and no space for equipment. They built a set based on this apartment when they started filming the show in California.

The traffic sounds you hear in the scene where Don wakes up after sleeping with Midge are real New York traffic sounds.

The actors for Kinsey, Ken, and Harry felt they had to bond so they went out to drink together every night. At least that’s the excuse they used.

If you look carefully at the end of the elevator scene with Peggy and the guys you’ll see Rich Sommer(Harry Crane) walk off to the right because he had mistakenly thought they’d already cut. Classic Harry.

Taylor says the scene with Lucky Strike was very reminiscent of Bewitched and I agree, which is why I initially described Mad Men as “Bewitched with less magic and more adultery” when I was first started watching.

Something weird I noticed: Alan Taylor only refers to Matthew Weiner as “the writer”. Bad blood? Can’t remember his name? Guess we’ll find out in the inevitable Mad Men BTS tell-all someone writes in ten years.

The strip club was a real retro-style strip club in New York.

They’d almost completely run out of money by the time they shot the scene of Don on the train so it’s basically just a piece of plexiglass with water dripping down it. 

Taylor says he dislikes the use of the song Caravan but I actually really like it. 

Overall, great episode, albeit one with some glaring flaws. I give it 7 Scowling Petes of 10.

[romancatholicreflections]

8th March >> Daily Reflection on Today’s Mass Readings for Roman Catholics on Friday after Ash Wednesday (Isaiah 58:1-9a, Psalms 51:3-4, 5-6ab, 18-19 & Matthew 9:14-15).

Lectionary: 221

Praying Lent

First Four Days of Lent - 23 min.

- Text Transcript

What Is Fasting and Abstinence?

Remembering the Ashes

Weekly Guide for Daily Prayer

Isaiah 58

Cooking Lent

Recipes for all the Fridays of Lent

Was Jesus pro-fasting or contra-fasting? As with all smart people, for him it depended on the context.

Today’s first reading from Isaiah 58 is about God’s attitude about fasting, and about context. The Mosaic Law mandated fasting on the Day of Atonement, serious fasting, nothing into the mouth from sun-up to sun-down, once a year. But then, people often fasted to express their grief over someone’s death, when you don’t feel much like eating anyway. But in describing Jesus’ sense of his career change from craftsman to prophet with a mission, Luke reports that Jesus, while reading from Isaiah 61, makes a point of including a line from Isaiah 58:6--“I have been sent … to set at liberty those who are oppressed.” And when we look up that verse, we discover why that addition was important to Jesus, or at least to Luke. For in this chapter the prophet, speaking for the Lord God, gives a quite specific context.

The people of God have been complaining to God, “Why do we fast and you do not see it?” To quote further:

Lo, on your fast day you carry out your own pursuits,

and drive all your laborers.

Yes, your fast ends in quarreling and fighting,

striking with wicked claw.

Would that today you might fast

so as to make your voice heard on high!

…

This, rather, is the fasting that I wish:

releasing those bound unjustly,

untying the thongs of the yoke;

Setting free the oppressed,

breaking every yoke;

Sharing your bread with the hungry,

sheltering the oppressed and the homeless;

Clothing the naked when you see them,

and not turning your back on your own.

Let us pray:

Lord, Jesus. These words of Isaiah seem like a distant mirror reflecting our own age. Two days ago, on Ash Wednesday, we fasted and received ashes on our forehead, each of us, no doubt, with a different set of motives in this public display of faith. Help us to hear Isaiah’s words afresh. If any of us has exercised these religious practices, preoccupied more with concern for self-image or “earning points” with you, please liberate us from such self-imposed (or culture-imposed) restrictions. If we have neglected to reach out to our fellow human beings (hungry, homeless, naked), while bearing ashes and fasting (signs of shared mortality and of dependence on you for the gift of food) please heal us from this bondage. If “quarreling and fighting” characterizes much of our public and private life, God, save us. Let your kingdom come on earth, as it is in heaven. Send us your Spirit to enable us to cooperate with your merciful intentions. “Thy kingdom come!”

by Dennis Hamm, S.J.

Creighton University's Department of Theology

[kaorei-endgame]

Revengecast S03E18 - Blood

Listen Up!

It’s Revengecast, the only podcast on the internet that loves you enough to put a show out on Valentine’s Day, setting aside the obvious irony where the LAST episode of Revengecast was put out closer to 2018’s valentine’s day than this current one.

Okay so let me catch you up as best I can while revealing–we believe in full disclosure–that we recorded this podcast like two weeks ago and the only reason I’m getting around to posting it now is because the grindiest event in the grindiest mobage, Granblue’s Unite and Fite, is has just begun, and so for the foreseeable future my desktop will looks like this 24/7:

and I’ll feel MARGINALLY less guilty about spending the next X hours of my life hitting the same 5 buttons every 3 minutes if I work on a podcast while I’m doing it!

SO ANYWAY. Revengecast. Remember Mason Treadwell? Of course you do, he’s the attache case to the stars! The chaise lounge of the rich but not particularly famous. At the moment, Mason is vewwy, vewwy sad because prison doesn’t stock his favorite skin exfoliants in the commissary, and trying to make that skin sparkle with a (soon to be) patented combination of Vics Vaporrub and Top Ramen flavor sachets was NOT having the desire effect. So, he decides he should–nay, MUST!–make his voice heard. Taking to the streets (or, the visitation room), he pounds his chubby fists on the table with a strident refrain of “JUVIE BOY WANNA LOBSTA! JUVIE BOY WANNA LOBSTA!” until Emily gets so fed up she pockets the sharpie she was gonna give him to black his hair and says IF YOU WANT YOUR DAMN LOBSTER SO MUCH JUST STICK IT UP YOUR ASS.

You know what they say, you can take the Juvie Girl out of the Juvie but you can’t take the Girl out of the Juvie Girl.

Mason replete with his reporter’s intuition and Hemmingway’s inherent misogyny, immediately deciphers Emily’s message as a veiled threat–“his ass” obvious code for “Victoria.” If you want your lobster… DON’T YOU DARE… “stick it up” …. aka “make a phone call to” in Welsh slang… Victoria?? Well we’ll just see about that! Because this Juvie Boy gets two phone calls… a week. But when Thursday comes you better watch out, Armalarm Tharme!

Meanwhile on the other side of the ATLANTIC Emily and Aiden stop by what appears to be the Little England attraction of Disneyland Britain’s It’s A Small World ride, where Aiden’s mother has taken up a hermitage, unable to bear the slings and cabbages of her neighbors, who for the past two-odd decades have been calling her a “Right Pip Pip Terrorist-Wedder, Innit” among other unprintable phrases that appear to be referencing sodden french cheese in a derogatory fashion?

Meanwhile back on the OTHER other side of the Atlantic, which is (technically) where we started, Nolan’s got his OWN trouble a brewing (for once) and (also for once) it doesn’t involve a weird sociopath. This time it’s just a regular sociopath, which is what all silicon valley millionaires are anyway, so Nolan should feel right in when Javier tries to get his GREASY PIZZA PAWS all over Nolan’s 70% of that (rejected) Black Mirror Script. That’s right baby, John Hamm is in talks to star in the lead role and Revengecats is BACK IN BUSINESS. May this ride never end! Which at the rate we’re going, it won’t until 2050! And by that time that glacier hole the size of manhattan will have collapsed and we’ll have BIGGER things to worry about! REVENGECAST REVENGECAST REVENGECAST!

Topics for Consideration: Extremely Bort Secret Dumbass Language Conrad’s 絶対領域 Adult Jive, or “The Big Boy Slammer” Danny One Ups-Manship, Danny-Style

Target Status:

THIS LINK LETS YOU BUY THE BOOK I WROTE.

If you have the time, write us a review on iTunes using this link. iTunes reviews are a big factor in discovery metrics, and all it takes is a sentence to help us grow!

Also we have a mailing list now! Sign up for… uhhh whenever the new DNUASC is coming, that’s pretty much it for the moment.

  Revengecast S03E18 – Blood was originally published on Fast Karate for the Gentleman

[hellyeahrpmemes]

※ SHIT I HEARD AT COLLEGE ※

a thrilling saga of shit i’ve heard at college; these are all from my first semester of sophomore year. feel free to change names/pronouns/etc.! more ‘shit i heard/said’ starters!

“The porn industry is moving swimmingly.”

“We all need men. Go find them.”

“It’s not an opera, bitches, it’s a flight.”

“Don’t look! It makes their dick bigger!”

“I have my own place and I can light as many candles as I want.”

“I’m not a librarian, sir.”

“How’s your sack lunch, bitch?”

“Stab me in the ass and turn me into Kim Kardashian.”

“I stayed up another hour just to cry.”

“I just got a nude and I don’t know how to feel about it.”

“I’m gonna go stab my eyes out now.”

“We get it. You have a big truck and a small penis.”

“It’s an epidemic, Karter!”

“There’s no cups, so I’m using a bowl. To drink apple juice.”

“Fuck y’all, I’m eating Fruit Loops!”

“I don’t know my superhero name, but here I am with my can of Lysol and my plastic fork.”

“Your list of things to do includes making the best 2000s playlist of all time and fighting me at Cheesecake Factory.”

“This is borderline human abuse.”

“How do you feel about fluorescent lighting?”

“I’m sorry, I’m on a college budget, I’ll give you two nickels and a paper clip.”

“We couldn’t say hell, because… Catholic school problems.”

“I don’t want them to call me and be like, ‘we’re about to drill into your face!’”

“Ugh, yes, the hot TA, what club are you in?”

“My rat bastard dad? What about him?”

“I have an idea that I’m positive no other human has ever had: butter flavored ice cream.”

“I hate myself, but I’m funny, so…”

“This man loves puppies and he is not afraid to say it.”

“There’s just something about stale food that I really like.”

“I like how we’re watching our upcoming death on TV.”

“When I get wasted, I want to fight. It’s a problem.”

“My boyfriend got really drunk and started drinking nectar out of the hummingbird feeder.”

“He currently has a child.”

“That’s a good way of getting rid of a baby.”

“He can’t look at his dead parents or his alive children.”

“I can’t focus on reading, ‘cause I just wanna watch Drake and Josh.”

“My roommate loves manifestos. Especially the Communist Manifesto.”

“Have you studied his naked body or something?”

“Okay, we got our Greek tragic playwrights: there’s Sophocles… there’s Euripides… uh… Isosceles?”

“We’re so stupid we click things that say ‘click here for here’.”

“So there were just 95 loose pigs.”

“This is called shaming.”

“I can’t be the only person who says ‘meatballs and spaghetti’.”

“What could go wrong? …oh, shit, I’m on fire.”

“Don’t call Kourtney unless you wanna suck dick tonight.”

“There’s no one around. He’s talking to his dick.”

“Just ‘cause it’s Greek doesn’t mean it’s sophisticated.”

“I hate myself, but I hate her more.”

“I don’t know anything about it, but it has bread in the name, so I want to try it.”

“Just… don’t breathe this class.”

“Megan: secret crop top wearer.”

“I’m embracing my aesthetic while you’re embracing… Jon Hamm’s face.”

“What are we doing tonight besides homework? …and bread?”

“I’m witnessing a breakup right here in the Starbucks line.”

“I nominate Gushers as a snack suggestion, but, like, a lot of them. All of them.”

“I have a strong immune system.”

“I was so worked up about the bolo ties.”

“Also, I was wine drunk, so…”

“Does she hit him? I hope she hits him.”

“Only Matthew McConaughey drives Lincolns.”

“Oh, yeah, I’m totally a Republican… Pence is daddy…”

“After that… is the exact same thing… from a different angle.”

“All my life, I’ve been striving to be better than Kidz Bop.”

“Is ‘slaveitude’ a word?”

“Ted Bundy was attractive. People knew him.”

“I feel like whoever’s in charge of the Reese’s company is really high right now. Like, putting Reese’s inside of Reese’s.”

“One beer bottle on campus might be a problem, but if there’s 8, they’re props.”

“With elevators, it’s not claustrophobia. It’s that I don’t trust the government.”

“Headphones: in. World: out. Notes font: ugly.”

“You know that’s a felony, right?”

“That’s a… fourth or fifth impression kind of story.”

“That means she definitely fucked a member of Kiss.”

“I feel free, but also ugly.”

“This is my unassigned assigned seat, and if any of you take it, I will fight you.”

“I went to the Home Depot, bought a bunch of lights, put them up in the air, and said ‘this is art’.”

“Because I was a full New Yorker, I just kept walking.”

“We almost died, but our last meal would’ve been free, so…”

“What’s a funeral like in 2017? GIFs and memes.”

“I would like to thank not only God but also Tinder.”

“I sat through a 40 minute argument about how Justin Bieber started the Cold War.”

“I’m just walking down the hallway, thinking about ways to throw myself down the stairs and make it look like an accident.”

“Now, if it was Kidz Bop, I’d go see it.”

“Don’t name your kid Ethelwold.”

“Shoulders, chest, pants, shoes: a vision for America.”

“My dad’s not getting dick from anyone.”

“I’m a shady beach and y’all are my shady beaches.”

“Oh, no, don’t write that down…”

“At Chipotle, God himself picked those avocados and put them in the guacamole.”

“It should be a holiday: Ohio awareness day.”

“We should go to a nice place. A formal place. California Pizza Kitchen.”

“What do you do in geology lab? Dissect rocks?”

“What great weather for a mental breakdown.”

“He’s not computer generated; he’s actually that large.”

“I’ve done some soul searching and I think that ranch dressing is my favorite food.”

“I almost said his birthday was in 1926. It’s like, we got a little bit of an age gap.”

“Are you physically running away from the situation?”

“I will personally call Papa John to tell him that he’s the reason my life isn’t going right.”

“I can’t wait for middle-aged sex now.”

“I should’ve known, there aren’t two eclipses in a year!”

“I walked around with a bear taser for a year and a half.”

“I found out that the guy I have a restraining order against has been peeing on my car for two years.”

“He fought the devil in jeans and no shirt.”

“She threw my fucking pillow off of the balcony!”

“Tickets are for something fun. Paying the check is not fun.”

“It’s Halloween, calories don’t count on holidays.”

“Well, you know how I said we met in philosophy class? Well… Elise doesn’t take philosophy class.”

“You got it wrong. You said 56 point 2. The answer was 56 point 2.”

“Do I want that horrible sock tan line that I had for five years back? Yeah, I do.”

“I got drunk, threw up, got high, and came here.”

“It’s Titanic blue. I’m the Heart of the Ocean, bitch.”

“The only rat bastard in our lives is Russ.”

“The beats are so good, but the words are such trash.”

“I had to fight someone in the elevator yesterday.

“…I’ve awakened the Demigorgon.”

“We solved the great hiccup epidemic of 2017.”

“Watch out, Kansas, I’m coming for you.”

“Do not associate my birthday with math terms.”

“That’s some Hunger Games type shit.”

“Fuck y’all, I hope you trip and die.”

“I’m very confused and also cold: an American tale. A five part miniseries, this fall on HBO.”

“I am Mrs. Grey! Bring me the kink!”

“I really wanna make a shirt that’s all Comic Sans.”

“I was thinking about Panera’s mac and cheese in a bread bowl, and I started crying.”

“We’re gonna steal your WiFi, but it’s okay, because Panhellenic love.”

“I have confidence that you’re not gonna get pregnant within those two hours.”

“See if this card works. I mean, it should work, but, like…”

“I think my favorite part was slowly dying.”

“All they serve is chicken salad, so you really have to like chicken salad.”

“I have three papers and a test this week, I don’t have time for feelings to resurface.”

“I’m living a life. Not my best one.”

“When you write a report on a book you’ve never read.”

“Don’t tell me what to wear when you wear Crocs to the bar.”

“I have listened to literally nothing but Hallelujah and My Heart Will Go On all day today.”

“Oh my god, Elise, you fucking bitch, get your shit together, and write your paper.”

You know what I’m really devastated about? I’m all out of Fruit Roll-ups.”

“We’re gonna be teachers. We have school forever.”

“I don’t want your sympathy, I want your anger.”

“Clowns… doorknobs… the color yellow… ducks… I’m quoting Victorious…”

“Did you just say ‘hey Sophie’ to not include me? ‘Cause, guess what, bitch, I’m still here.”

“I live here, I know when we have salad!”

“I think Satan’s middle name is cumulative.”

“I will put up with my moose husband for however long I need.”

“I’ve literally been down here for an hour and a half waiting for these nonexistent cookies.”

“I’m keeping a detailed list of Elise’s hickeys.”

“I’m an adult, I say as I eat my Fruit Roll-up.”

“Oh, my practicum grade is in! Let’s see… 36.”

“SOS, I’m in bed and it’s so comfy, but I need to get up to study, what do I do?”

“Get up. Only a few more days until we can sleep all we want.”

“So you’re admitting you live in the woods.”

“I don’t know if it’s finals stress or if this is actually the cutest thing I’ve ever seen, but I’m crying.”

“It was optional, don’t make me feel bad for skipping class.”

“I’ve heard that, if enough people fail, they’ll have to curve it.”

“How do you even study for this?”

[the-letter-horror-lover]

Gog-ruto by Hamm-Ram

Anime » Naruto Rated: K, English, Humor & Family, Naruto U., Hinata H., Boruto U., Sarada U., Words: 1k+, Favs: 43, Follows: 19, Published: Nov 30, 2020

3

This is a cute story I came up with while watching Naruto Shippuden

"Mom, I'm home!" Boruto said. "Sarada's here too."

"I'm in the attic!" Hinata said. "I'm going through some stuff. Could you come help me?"

"Sure! Wanna help, Sarada?"

"Why not? Mom's working late tonight."

So the two of them went up to the attic, finding Boruto's mom Hinata Hyuga Uzumaki lifting a heavy box.

"Thanks for helping me, sweetie. You too, Sarada-chan."

"No problem, Mrs. Uzumaki. We were going to go hang out with everyone, but decided to help you out."

"Yeah. You work hard, so I should help out. Also, if I didn't, Sarada and I might have fallen for the old crash trap."

"Yeah, I probably would've done that."

"What's the crash trap?"

"It's when mom knocks over a bunch of stuff, and I come up here to make sure she's okay and then she traps me."

"You'd think you'd stop falling for that."

"Hey, I hear someone in trouble, I help. I always realize it too late."

"It's true, he does. He always forgets about it till after he's trapped."

As they all continued sifting through the attic to clean and sort through some stuff, Sarada found a box with Naruto's face on it.

"Is this Lord Seventh's?" Sarada asked.

"Oh, yes. That's everything from his old apartment."

"That's all dad had?"

"Well, your father was treated unfairly by the villagers because of Kurama."

"Kurama?"

"That's what dad calls the fox."

"Well, that is the fox's name. Anyway, your father, being an orphan, didn't have a whole lot of things. He managed the bare essentials, but not much else."

"So goggles are bare essentials?" Boruto asked as he pulled out a pair of faded green goggles.

Hinata gasped as she took them.

"Oh my goodness. I haven't seen these in years. You know, before Iruka-sensei gave Naruto his headband, your father wore these all the time. He stopped wearing them after becoming a genin. They were a defining feature of his. Well, that and his cute whiskers. I loved stroking those and even licking them when he made lo-"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa mom! TMI!"

"Oh, I'm sorry, Boruto. I just got caught up in my reminiscence."

"So dad stopped wearing these?" Boruto asked. He took a moment to look at the mirror in the attic and put the goggles on.

"Oh, you look just like your father. I have to get a picture!"

"Whoa, mom!"

"Don't worry. It's just for the family."

"Okay, fine." So Boruto let his mom take a picture. However, he heard two clicks. "Mom, did you double-click again?"

"No, I don't think so."

Boruto turned to the only other person in the room, who had her phone out.

"Sorry, couldn't resist. Don't worry. I'll only show my mom." 'And Chocho.'

"Sarada give me that phone right now!"

"Make me, Gog-ruto."

"That's it!"

Sarada ran toward the door as Boruto chased after her, leaving Hinata alone.

"Ah, young love. I should send this to Naruto."

"Sarada get back here and give me that phone!"

"No way!"

It wasn't just because of the picture she just took of him. She had quite a few pictures of him, including some that required some creativity to take. No way was he gonna let him see those pictures.

Once downstairs, Boruto grunted as he searched for Sarada. He passed by Himawari's room.

"Himawari, have you seen Sarada?"

"Yeah, yesterday I saw her at the store and-"

"Today. Have you seen her in the last couple minutes?"

"Oh. No, I haven't." Himawari smiled as Boruto continued to walk.

"Okay." Boruto started walking until stepping back. "Wait a second. Why does that stuffed bear have Sarada's phone and glasses?" Suddenly the stuffed bear in question threw a mini paper bomb at him. Not enough to do damage but enough to stun him as it turned into Sarada and ran out. "GET BACK HERE!"

Sarada and Boruto bolted out of the house as Himawari came out.

"What were those things on big brother's head?"

-20 seconds later a mile away-

"I wish I was skinnier," Chocho said walking with Inojin and Shikadai and eating chips. "How am I supposed to find my prince charming with this?"

"Well, maybe your prince will prefer rounded women," Inojin said.

"Dude, you have got to cool it with the brutal honesty," Shikadai said. "Learn some tact. Besides, Chocho, my dad said that to keep your dad from being self-conscious about his weight, their sensei would call him 'pleasantly plump'."

"Maybe but- Oh, there's Sarada. Hey Sarada, do you think I'm-?"

"Can't talk! Running!" Sarada said as she jumped over Chocho.

"And people call me rude. Why is she running?"

"SARADA UCHIHA GIVE ME THAT PHONE!" Inojin was bowled over as Boruto bolted(hehe) toward Sarada.

"That answer your question?" Chocho said.

"Did anyone else see something on Boruto's head, or was it just me?" Shikadai asked.

"How is this father?" Metal Lee asked about to attempt the dancing leaf shadow when he was bowled over.

"Son! Are you alright?"

"Fine, but I think I saw Boruto wearing goggles."

"Okay, I'm taking you to the hospital."

-15 seconds later-

"Being a teacher is a lot harder than I thought, but Kurenai-sensei believes in me, so I must do the same," Shino said. He saw a huge dust cloud and saw two of his students running. They zoomed right by, confusing him. "What was that about?"

-10 minutes later-

"I think I lost him," Sarada said, sitting on top of Naruto's stone head. Then she patted her side but didn't feel her phone. "Oh no, where is it?"

"Give me that phone now so I can erase that picture!" Boruto shouted from behind her.

"I don't have it! I must've dropped it. Also, you do realize you chased me here wearing those goggles?"

Boruto touched his head, and paled as he realized she was right before pocketing the goggles.

"What? They were dad's. Now let's find your phone."

"What not gonna stick your hand in my pockets?"

"Nah, you wouldn't lie about that. Also, if I did, I'd have a one-way express ticket to Shikadai's uncle's."

"You got that right."

-Meanwhile in the office-

Naruto sighed as he signed another form for some reason. He was glad to have Shikamaru around to help him. Naruto heard his phone beep.

"It's a picture from Hinata," Naruto said.

"What, is she sending you pictures in her lingerie now?" Shikamaru asked as Naruto checked, going wide eyed before smiling.

"I had forgotten all about those."

"About what?" Naruto showed Shikamaru the picture, making him chuckle. "Wow. I haven't seen those in so long either. Looks like you did, but less whiskers and smarter."

"Really? You had to go there?"

"Hey, you were the one who goofed off."

"Fair enough."

-five hours later at the Uchiha home-

"Ugh, I can't believe I lost my phone," Sarada said as she reached for the handle. "Mom is going to kill me." She walked inside, and saw her mother in the kitchen. "Hi mom. Sorry I'm late."

"Well, you know you should've called me. Then again, I guess that would've been tough without... this!"

"My phone!" Sarada rushed over and grabbed it. "Oh, thank you mom! Where did you find it?"

"I didn't find it."

"Then who did?"

"That would be me," a male voice said, causing Sarada to turn around and see her father. "I was walking here when I spotted it on the ground. It had our clan's symbol on it, so I assumed it was yours."

"Thanks, dad."

"No problem. I was surprised by that picture."

"What picture?" Sakura asked. Sarada pulled it up on her phone and showed it to Sakura. "Wow. Naruto's old goggles? I can't believe he still had them."

"Guess he couldn't get rid of them," Sasuke said.

-meanwhile back at the Uzumaki house-

"Man, that was exhausting. Can't believe-hmm?" He got a text on his phone. "Oh, cool Sarada found her phone. That's a relief." Boruto opened the door, and got tackled by his sister. "Hey, Himawari, you look excited."

"Yeah, because Daddy's here."

"What?" Boruto entered the dining room, seeing Naruto sitting at the dinner table. "How do I know you're not just a shadow clone?"

"Boruto, how rude!"

"It's fine, Hinata. It's only natural. No, Boruto, I assure you I'm not a shadow clone. I was able to finish work early, and come home for dinner."

"Really?"

"Hey, if you don't believe me, feel free to hit me anywhere."

"Nah." Boruto sat down, and they all started eating. Five minutes of silence and Boruto noticed his father staring at him. "What?"

"Could you put them on? I wanna see for myself." Himawari was confused, but Boruto understood what his father wanted. So he reached into his pocket, and pulled out Naruto's goggles before putting them on himself. "Hmm. I think I made them work better."

"Say what? How can anyone make these goggles look good? Goggles are so lame."

"Hey, they were in style back then. Besides, you try finding a cool look when you're kicked out of every store."

Hinata and Himawari laughed at the father and son banter, bringing some livelyness to the table. When the goggles would be worn again no one knows.

-meanwhile in the afterlife-

"Rin, you don't think goggles are lame do you?" Obito asked.

"Of course not. You made them work."

"Thanks."

so how'd y'all like that cute little story? I had the idea for a while. just a little fun idea to make Boruto a little closer to Naruto.