#Logan ruined everything for her and what little she had she ruined for herself in his honor </3

[holycartoonwarrior]

I personally think in lifeboats that Logan grabbed shiv’s hand because he thought she was someone one else, probably Marcia, and I think that means he probably did the same thing to Marcia and I do think Marcia was trying to be so aggressively firm w Shiv to make sure nothing happened to her. Because Marcia while no saint, has no desire to be mean to anyone except if she’s mad and feels wronged which is pretty fucking normal. And has her own daughter, and only let shiv go up after shiv invaded her privacy illegally. So yeah I think if shiv hadn’t jumped the gun maybe she could’ve had a woman in her life who cared about her.

[henrycangelbaby]

In which: This is not going well. He remembers what Y/N said—that he enjoyed scratches behind his ears, although he's pretty sure she had referred to them as "scratchies.”

or

Logan has to learn to get along with the newest family member.

Logan isn’t always resistant to change; in fact, he would do about anything for his lover, for his Y/N. He spends most of his nights watching the garbage TV of the modern family that she loves, and he even let her get pink tiles in the bathroom when they moved in together, but this might be too far.

He knows something’s up as soon as he walks through the door. Y/N usually comes running to greet him with a sweet kiss, or if not, he can usually hear her stomping around upstairs doing God knows what. But today, he doesn't hear anything immediately when he opens the door, and Y/N certainly isn't there to greet him.

As he steps further into the house, he tries to pick up on any sounds. Is that water running? It's a little early for Lovie to be having her nighttime shower, but perhaps a change in routine was called for. As he approached the sound, he realized that it wasn’t the shower; in fact, it was the sink in the bathroom. He could see her back facing him as she hunched over the sink, muttering to herself.

“Y/N?”

She quickly jumped at the unexpected sound, splashing water before turning around.

“Hey, love.”

He quirked an eyebrow. She sounded rather guilty.

“Is everything okay, baby?” he asked, peering over her shoulder to try and get a glimpse of what she was doing.

“Yeah, everything—”

He cut her off before she could finish. “Is that a cat?”

In the sink that he was standing in front of, he swore for just a second that he could see a sopping wet cat shivering in the middle of it. She finally relented quickly, turning around to pick up the tiny thing and pulling it tight into her chest, causing her shirt to quickly be soaked with soap and water.

“Actually, no, Lo, it’s a kitten,” she continued quickly, “and his name is Squish, thank you.”

“Baby, why the fuck do you have a kitten?”

He could be mad; she looked so cute standing there holding the tiny thing close to her, just like a protective mother.

“I found him, and he was all alone. He looked so sad; I couldn't just leave him there, Lo.”

Okay, he definitely wasn’t mad; how could he be when his baby had been doing something so sweet and loving? He hummed.

“So his name is Squish?”

Y/N lit up instantly. “Yes! Isn’t he the cutest?”

He nodded vaguely along, checking out the kitten closely. It was pretty cute, with white and red fur and big round eyes that peered up at him longingly. He was a little hesitant to reach out and pet ‘Squish’ just yet, but perhaps admitting his cuteness was the first step to that. He shook his head gently when Y/N offered for him to hold the kitten; that was definitely a while in the future.

The start of their relationship was rocky; Squish truly was very cute and made his baby very happy, but the kitten hadn't exactly taken a keen liking to Logan. Perhaps this cat was super smart or something, but he felt like the cat could tell something was up, could tell that he wasn't entirely normal. And listen, it wasn't entirely unjust; he had caught Logan whipping his claws out once completely on accident, but he had felt so guilty for scaring the little guy that he had fed him for a week just to win his trust back.

But it wasn’t just that; whenever Y/N wasn't around, Squish was, well, rather cold towards him. Perhaps it was rather silly of him to read into the emotions and feelings of an actual cat, but he felt that he should be closer to the thing. They did have quite a bit in common, more than he was willing to admit, much to his dismay. But no matter their common ability to ruin furniture, he couldn't quite understand the thing. It wouldn't matter if it was anything else, but this little kitty meant so much to his lover that he felt rather guilty about their mutual distaste for each other.

It goes on like this for a little while; they tiptoe and walk on four legs around each other for a little while, Logan embarrassingly unsure how to handle the little cat except for feeding it every day in hopes of it taking more of a liking to him. Things do not change for weeks.

Y/N has to go out of town for a few nights; she promises to call him every night (after teaching him his way around FaceTime) and makes sure he has Squish’s routine down pat. She leaves early in the morning, giving him a quick kiss on the lips and a somewhat crushing hug before she does the same for their cat and leaves out the door.

And suddenly they are alone together. He feels like a deadbeat father, unsure how to handle hanging out with his kid. Feeding it and then leaving it to its own devices. However, he finds himself rather lonely; of course, he finds things to do. He sees some friends, fixes the broken shelf in the bedroom, and considers what color he should consider painting the bathroom. He finds himself a little lonely; he is the only human in the house, and the only other creature seems to be avoiding him if it's not dinner time.

On day three of Y/N's absence (not that he's counting), he sits alone on the couch. He has eaten a rather pathetic dinner and now sits watching an episode of Modern Family on basically zero volume. The little guy comes trotting into the room. Despite the cat being about the same size as his hand, he can hear its little paws clicking on the ground, or perhaps he is more in tune with his supersense than he thinks.

Squish jumps up, settling onto the opposite end of the couch to Logan. He reaches out to pat Squish, but he gets quickly rejected as the cat shakes off his pat before turning around. This is not going well. He remembers what Y/N said—that he enjoyed scratches behind his ears, although he's pretty sure she had referred to them as "scratchies.”

Fuck it, it was time for him to give Squish some scratchies. He reached out and carefully patted the cat behind the ears. The little guy quickly leaned his head into Logan's hands, rubbing against them with what he could swear was a small smile. Squish moved closer to him, placing his furry head on Logan's thigh. This was nice.

He had opened the floodgates, and now there seemed to be no stopping them. Squish went everywhere that he went, always following Logan around, running around at his feet. He had also taken to sleeping in the bed with Logan. Logan was rather obsessed with having the little thing sleeping on his bicep or chest. Squish had taken residence on his thighs during their now shared TV time and had taken to meowing outside the bathroom when he spent too long in the shower thinking about his Y/N (Squish had ruined his pace at least once with the meowing, but Logan had quickly forgiven him, scared that he had traumatized the kitten again).

In all his excitement, he hadn't told Y/N about this new development in his relationship with her baby. Of course, he had been texting her more often than not—all they had been saying was “I miss you” and “I love you more,” and their phone calls had often consisted of too much talking.

After what seemed to be a lifetime, Y/N came home. She had texted him that morning letting him know her estimated arrival time, but he had jumped to his feet when he had heard her car pull up in the driveway, quickly swooping up Squish in his left arm before rushing to pull the door open. He grinned at her.

“Hey, baby.”

“Hey, Lo,” she replied before he pulled her into his arms, hugging her close to his chest. He kissed her on the head.

“I missed you."

"I missed you too, love.”

He shut the door behind her as she turned to face him and gasped in surprise.

“My baby!” she somewhat squealed in excitement, and she reached for the kitten, pulling him into her chest and kissing him multiple times on the head.

“I see you are getting along well,” she grinned at Logan. He felt his cheeks heat up.

“Yeah, we've been hanging out,” he shrugged.

She reached up for his collar and pushed their lips together. He smiled into the kiss. God, he loved his Y/N (and their Squish).

Squish’s clinginess towards him tampered down once his mommy was home. The kitten still sleeps in the bed with them and often rests himself on Logan's thigh, but he has stopped following Logan around wherever he goes. Y/N has definitely noticed their newly formed bond; she often catches them snuggled together when she gets up to pee in the middle of the night and has to stop herself from cooing every time Logan picks him up, dwarfing the little guy in his big hands.

Late one night, Y/N is in the shower, and Logan finds himself alone with the cat. He picks up Squish, pulling him next to his face and kissing the small guy.

“My baby,” he mutters. “My baby, tiny baby,” he utters quietly, gently kissing the kitten on the head.

God, he was down bad.

[coff33andb00ks]

Rule Breaker - Pt 6

max Verstappen x single mom!reader (with logan sargeant)

{masterlist}{prev} {next}

warnings: cursing, minimally proofread, implied sexual situations Summary: you can start a family who will always show you love, you don't have to be sorry for doing it on your own word count: 1927 auth.note: made the executive decision to not have actual smut in this fic due to multiple reasons (the main one being the thought of having smut then a scene involving a kid gives me the ick) spotify: i made a playlist

Logan was gentle. She appreciated that so much and told him so in the breathless moments spent in his arms.

He hummed, fingers tracing her back. "What do you mean?"

Y/n shifted so she could look up at him. "I don't know if I can explain it. Like… It was intense, but…"

He kept silent, fingers still tracing random patterns along her spine.

She sighed, trying to find the right words. "I just… Thank you for treating me like you care."

Logan frowned, his fingers going still. "I do care, though."

"Lo—"

"Did you think I didn't?" He sighed when she began to pull away. "Wait, no, don't."

She stopped, turning back to him at the touch of his hand to her shoulder.

"I'm not…" He let out a mirthless chuckle, his cheeks staining pink. "I'm not good at talking about my feelings. I usually prefer to just… Show it."

She closed her eyes and her mind flashed with him being nothing but kind and caring. It was what had drawn her to him, had made her want to be around him more, and had her wanting to invite him into her life. "I'm sorry," she murmured, opening her eyes.

He was smiling, that crooked half-smile that sent her heart into a silly tumble. "I care, y/n."

"I know you do. I'm sorry, Logan." She sighed, shaking her head. "I ruined pillow talk, huh?"

"You're just in your head, I get it." He was still holding her shoulder and trailed his hand down to hers. "C'mon."

Within seconds she was curled at his side, his arm around her again. His fingers resumed their earlier tracings, and she hummed, feeling content.

Cared for.

She liked that he didn't mind lying together in silence. Liked that he seemed just as content as she. Liked the quiet, the peacefulness she felt with him after that initial rush of butterflies.

His fingers danced over her back then smoothed her hair, and he hummed softly, letting out a sigh that was a balm to her weary soul.

"I care," he whispered.

"I care, too," she whispered back.

"Do you have to get back?" he asked after several moments had passed.

She thought of the texts she'd exchanged with Ellie, who'd insisted she enjoy herself. She was pretty sure her friend was more excited about the prospect of her having sex than *she* was. "No… I can stay a little longer."

"How about 'til morning?" Logan suggested.

She heard the underlying suggestion and smiled. "I'd like that."

There wasn't awkwardness. Well, a little, but he made it so easy to laugh it off. It was one reason she liked him so much, his ability to make her feel at ease. He didn't mind that she had to check in with Ellie, who reassured her that everything was fine and to enjoy herself. He didn't mind that she wanted to take a quick shower. When she stood there in his bedroom, feeling exposed and weird in a towel, he got her a pair of sweats and a t-shirt to wear.

And when they were falling asleep and she tentatively moved close, he smiled against her forehead and held her close.

She tried to sleep, tired and content as she was. But it avoided her, even after he'd drifted off, his gentle breathing warm and soft in her hair. She couldn't shake the feeling that something was off.

Something was missing. Some tiny piece that would make everything perfect.

Shifting, she tried to find a comfortable position, frowning in the darkness. Her night had been so close to perfect. He cared for her, she cared for him. He made her laugh, made her feel light and happy. He adored her son, and she knew her son worshipped the ground Logan walked on.

What, then, was missing?

*Casual* day at the factory. Max had rolled his eyes when it had been announced, thinking at the time that he wouldn't be around anyway.

But here he was, wondering what, exactly, made the day casual. Everyone was dressed as they normally were. Everyone was working. Everyone was acting as they usually did. Everyone—

"Max!"

Oh, that was something different. Grinning as Kevin ran up to him, he swept the boy up and hugged him, carrying him back towards his mother. "You helping mum work?"

Kevin giggled. "No! Here waiting."

Y/n smiled affectionately. "Ellie's picking him up in a little bit, she had a doctor's appointment."

"Everything okay?" he asked, setting Kevin down and steering him to y/n's office before he could wander off. Taking the backpack from her so she could open the door, he slung it over his shoulder.

"She's finally seeing someone about her migraines." Y/n held up her hand, showing her crossed fingers.

"I hope they can help," Max sighed, knowing her friend suffered from migraines frequently.

"Me too. I—" She cut off, glancing at the phone in her hand when it began to ring. "Gotta get this, it's about something I'm planning for Barcelona."

"Mama…"

Max recognized the tone. "I'll take him."

She smiled her thanks, answering the call and stepping further into her office.

Kevin was squirming by the time they got to the restroom. Max turned to give him privacy, frowning when he heard nothing.

"Uh-oh."

He turned, heart clenching at the heartbrokenness in the boy's voice. "Kleine maate?"

Kevin looked down and began twisting his hands anxiously. "Didn't make it."

Max's frown deepened, feeling a wave of sympathy when he saw the small puddle on the floor and heard the boy's fretful sigh. "It's alright, mate."

"Wanna be a big boy," Kevin mumbled.

Max squatted down, setting the backpack next to him and opening it to find the spare clothes he knew y/n kept for times like this. "I know, but accidents happen, yeah?"

Kevin sniffled. "Yeah."

Lifting his head, he met a pair of teary eyes and felt his throat close.

Stupid boy. I taught you better.

He swallowed, wondering how he could ever be expected to yell at a child. Especially for something like this. "Maate, listen to me."

Kevin sniffled harder, nodding.

"It's fine. You're still learning, yeah?" He spoke gently, wanting – needing – the boy to know he wasn't upset with him. And he had to know for sure. He already knew, but he had to be certain. "Your mum doesn't get mad when you have an accident does she?"

"No." Kevin rubbed his nose with the back of his hand. "But I don't like it."

"Accidents happen. Nobody likes them, but we just clean up the mess and try to do better, yeah? You think I always do things right when I'm racing?" As he spoke he mopped up the puddle then helped Kevin change out of his wet shorts.

"Yeah?" Kevin looked at him as though it were a stupid question.

"I don't. I mess up a lot. But you can't let accidents or mess ups keep you from trying."

Kevin sniffed and nodded. "Okay."

"I know you're upset with yourself, but remember that it's okay, yeah?" Max gestured to him. "It's fixed now."

Nodding again, Kevin flung his arms around Max's neck.

Max sighed, wrapping the boy in a hug and holding him close. "You're alright, hm? No harm done."

"Sorry Daddy," Kevin mumbled against his shoulder.

He froze, throat closing with emotion again. Daddy. The term, the affection needed to be called that… He closed his eyes, tightening his hold on the boy. "It's okay, kleine maate. Let's get our hands washed then back to mum, yeah?"

Daddy.

I don't have a daddy.

He helped Kevin was his hands, somehow keeping his voice normal as they chatted about the upcoming race week, even promising to pick up something Spanish for him. They made their way back to y/n's office and Max couldn't help the fond smile on his face as Kevin told his mother he'd had an accident.

"But Daddy helped," the boy finished with a bright smile.

His heart lurched up to his throat then fell to his feet as she raised her eyes to him.

"Thank you," she managed after twelve long seconds.

He knew the exact time, because he counted them. And he was sure his heart beat only four times as he waited for her words.

"No problem," he murmured, setting Kevin's backpack down.

She turned her attention back to Kevin, her tone gentle as she reassured him and promised it was okay, kissing the boy's forehead before telling him to play with his cars until Ellie got there.

Max's heart gave a weak thump as she straightened. "Y/n…"

"Later," she said, her throat working as she swallowed hard.

Later was a lot later than he'd imagined it would be. Standing outside the door of her apartment, he huffed, rubbing his hand through his hair as he hesitated. He should be on the way back to Monaco, should be focusing on the upcoming days in Barcelona, but all he could think about was the look of horror and surprise when her son had called him Daddy.

He knocked softly, knowing Kevin was probably asleep, and Ellie probably was too, and maybe even—

"Max?" Y/n's voice was incredulous as she opened the door. "What are—"

"I didn't tell him to call me that," he said in a rush.

She blinked, realization finally lighting in her eyes. "Oh. It's okay."

Okay? Okay?! It was all he'd been able to think about all evening and all she could say was it's okay?

"But it can't happen again," she was saying.

Two words fell out of his mouth without even the slightest hesitation. "Why not?"

She stared at him, eyes widening. "You're not his father, Max."

"I know that—"

"God, you're not even my—" she pressed her lips together tightly. "You're just a coworker."

If she'd pushed a blade into his heart it would have hurt less. "Y/n, please, just listen—"

"No, you listen! I can't do this back and forth anymore. One day you want to be 'professional' and the next you're inviting us into your life." Her voice wavered and he felt his breath catch in his throat. "You can't have it both ways, Max."

"It's not that simple—"

"Not everything is a giant problem that you have to analyze," she whispered.

He dragged his hand over his face. "You know what would happen if I chose…"

Light. Laughter. Little moments of joy.

He wanted to choose that. But she would hate him for doing it. For the darkness he harbored, that would eventually taint every beautiful corner of her life.

"Don't invite us in anymore," she said. And though she was looking down he knew there were tears in her eyes. Could hear them in her voice, feel them in his chest. "It's not fair to Kevin. Or to me."

"Please—" Don't go. Don't pull the only happiness I have away from me.

Except it wasn't his happiness to hold. Unless…

"Max, let me go."

He blinked and saw his hand on her arm. "Y/n…" His hand moved, and he felt her turn as he cupped her shoulder. He couldn't let her go. Not now. Not with tears in her eyes and pain in her voice. Letting her go would break something in her, and he'd never forgive himself. Releasing a shaky breath, he felt the silk of her cheek beneath his fingertips, then the velvet of her hair. "I…"

Her lips, trembling satin against his. She gasped and he tasted heaven.

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[jumpywhumpywriter]

"The Lost Hero" - Crippled Hero Presumed Dead part 8

Warnings: crippled hero, hero with disabilities, retired hero, reluctant hero, Supervillain final battle

Is Hero... dead?

His heart froze when his gaze landed on the two unmoving figures in the center of it all, a charred corpse crumpled on top of a mostly-untouched Hero. Everything was quiet. Too quiet.

Logan was in too much shock to move, staring numbly at Hero in her old hero suit. He was rooted to the spot.

Please be alive.

He watched for an eternity, until finally -- movement. The lifeless corpse shifted, and then slid off Hero's chest as Hero slowly sat up, hunching over herself, head bowed low.

A massive wave of relief and happiness crashed over Logan, and he jumped to his feet, stumbling over to Hero and dropping down next to her. "You did it..." He breathed in disbelief. "You really killed Supervillain..." Logan stared down at the body of what was once the most powerful crime master, ruler of the city he'd held hostage, now unrecognizable with burns covering every inch of him, clothes completely incinerated.

Logan turned to look at Hero, and was taken aback by the devastation etched into her face. Something wet glistened on both of Hero's cheeks, and he realized she was... crying? It was a strange sort of crying, near-soundless sobs more noticeable by the hitching breaths that accompanied them.

"Hero, what's wrong? Are you hurt?" Logan's eyes swept over her battered appearance. It was a stupid question, of course Hero was hurt after the fierce fight -- but nothing life-threatening, to his relief.

Hero's mouth opened and closed a few times, before her face twisted with anguish and she shook her head, fresh tears rolling down her bloodied face. Then, she reached out and opened a trembling hand with another choked sound. And there, in her palm, was a piece of warped metal, black with char marks.

Hero's pained eyes found Logan's, and she tilted her head -- running a finger along her neck, over the only part of the metal device in her throat visible from the outside. And Logan suddenly realized what was wrong. The fried piece of metal in her hand was the advanced technology disk that magnetized to the part in her neck... that gave her her voice. Without it--

"Oh Hero, I'm so sorry..." Logan croaked when it hit him. Hero couldn't speak anymore, the special disk that Villain had once made had somehow been fried by Hero's own powers during her last ditch attack. And the technology in that disk was unique to Villain's genius design, it was impossible to recreate. Irreplaceable, as far as Logan knew.

Hero cried harder, her shoulders and whole body shaking with heaving breaths as more silent sobs escaped her, uneven breaths the only outward sign of it aside from the tears tracks.

Tentatively, Logan reached out and put a reassuring hand on Hero's shoulder, not sure how she'd react to being touched. Hero flinched, but didn't recoil, and Logan pulled her into a tight embrace, offering what little comfort he could as the two of them hugged in the middle of the damage.

Hero's suit was rough against Logan's face as he buried it in her shoulder. A few holes were burned through it from where her powers had slipped her grasp slightly, but otherwise she was almost entirely untouched.

But then Logan pulled back, and his eyes landed on Hero's bad leg, and his chest twisted sadly. The brace Noah had invented for her was ruined too, the metal severely warped and crooked from the intense heat, half-melted and so brittle parts of it had broken off completely, making the brace utterly useless.

"I'm so sorry," Logan whispered. "...Do you think you can stand? We can get out of here and meet back up with Noah. He might be able to create a new brace for you."

Hero hesitated, then nodded wordlessly, getting her feet under her to stand. Her legs instantly buckled the moment she put weight on them, and Logan barely managed to catch her and hold her upright until she found her balance, though she was trembling violently. Hero leaned heavily on him for support as he helped her limp and stumble her way out of the Grand Hall, leaving Supervillain's mangled, charred body behind.

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Masterlist

@scoundrelwithboba @lumpofsand @isikedmyself878 @iamheretohurt @fleur-a-whump

@ay5ksal @otterfrost @sausages-things @i-don't-know-sal

[nelllover]

i have a very weird question that i would love to hear your take on. in a au where lorelai & chris got married and died in a car crash, what made emily & richard to raise rory as their own daughter, what her relationship with jess would be like? and mostly with her grandparents?

Ooh, that's interesting.

So in this au, you would have to take into count that Rory would have been raised by Lorelai and Chris (not sure if we're talking about them dying when she's a baby or when she's like 10 or something) and I think that in itself would change Rory a lot. Not having Chris in her life was a big thing for Rory growing up, and unknowingly shaped her and her views on relationships a lot.

I'm not sure in what way being raised by Emily and Richard would affect Rory (obv it would I just don't think it would mean that she'd become all mean and spoiled but then what?) I feel like in this au she wouldn't feel the pressure to make up for "ruining Lorelai's future" but obviously with her parents dead (I'm going off the assumption that Rory knows that she's their grandaughter for now) she would feel a kind of pressure to live up to their memory (and she'd probably blame herself to some degree for their death bc this is Rory we're talking about)

Now there are two options 1: Rory tries so badly to live up to Lorelai that she starts to become her (as we know in canon Richard and Emily both saw Rory as the daughter they never had who they wished Lorelai was and Rory being the people pleaser that she is would 100% let them) but becoming Lorelai means realizing that the life that her parents planned for her isn't what she wants and then comes rebelling against them (honestly rebelling doesn't sound like teenage Rory that much but teens with dead parents are known for doing just that so I think it works) and what rhymes with rebelling better than getting a bf your parents hates and that's where Jess could come in now in this au I have no idea how they could meet seeing as obviously Rory would be living in Hartford but idk maybe she wants to visit the cute town close to home or something or they meet at a concert? I'm not sure that's up to you!

Now I have two ideas for what way they could get together either it's love at first sight and all that cute shit (boring but cute) bc without her bond with Lorelai her and Jess's relationship probably would've happened quicker OR (and that's the one I like more) they meet become friends and fake date Rory itches a plan that she knows will make Emily and Richard mad aka date the cute guy that is everything that they hate. (honestly, this is just bc they're aren't enough fake dating lit au's)

Now option 2: Rory stays in the perfect daughter role (and is slowly having a nervous breakdown but hey what's new?) she's probably dating someone handpicked by Emily a Chris2.0 if you will (so basically Logan) and is wildly unhappy but again she's a people pleaser so she'd never say. in this version, I think Rory would be a little less aware of her privilege and when she meets Jess she would probably come off as some spoiled little rich girl and after spending so much with Emily she would probably be judgemental of him too (and the meet ugly ensues) and slowly but surely they would realize that they're not so different become friends fall in love and all that!

Now seeing as this Rory would be at her peek people pleaser attitude it would be even harder to break up with her bf and to go against her mother's opinion (and as we know if there is anyone that dislikes Jess more than Lorelai it's Emily) but in this case, surprisingly I think Richard would be of great help while also having ridiculously high expectations of Rory he always had a soft spot for her and I think after losing his daughter that soft spot would only grow and seeing her miserable he would try his best to help her in changing Emily's mind! (plus I always thought that Richard would have loved Jess now granted when I think that I'm talking s6 Jess and not before but still!)

ok now on to just her relationship with Richard and Emily so far I've been going off the assumption that she knew who her real parents were but if she doesn't that obv had on a new layer to it does she even know about Lorelai's existence (does she see her as some big sister that she never got to know and nobody dares to talk about) or does she not even know that? I think her relationship with both would still be pretty similar to the one in the first situation just maybe without her giving herself the same crazy amount of pressure to be just like Lorelai. Emily would probably try her best to be more relaxed (without much success but still) I definitely think that if Lorelai died that young both Emily and Richard would feel guilty for it somehow and this would result in them sheltering Rory as best as they could (which is obviously not the way to raise a kid) which would result in her being very non-self-aware and well sheltered.

I'm gonna stop the post here but I honestly still have so many thoughts about this so just tell me if you want more bc I gladly will<3

[literatikoo]

Lane Kim deserved better

I mentioned a couple of weeks ago that I would only write Lane Kim meta when I am very very angry because I need to be powered by spite and petty energy to unravel exactly how much of a disservice this show was to Lane and by extension any Asian kid with a similar life. And, well, it's happening now, so buckle up kids, this is going to be a loooong ride because I have a lot to say.

Before we start on the negative aspects, the show got a lot of things about Lane right, which is why I care so much about her character. Yes, ASP obviously didn't know how to write a POC experience and it's seen in the way some very harmful stereotypes were propagated (the tiger mom trope, Mrs Kim's religious beliefs, the depiction of the Kim extended family etc) but at the same time Lane was beautifully written as a character, unlike her plot which left much to be desired. Lane Kim was an Asian girl with rock n roll dreams who had an extremely fraught relationship with her mother and had to fight for even a semblance of independence. And I hate to say it but a lot of daughters of Asian households are forced to hide a part of themselves from their families, so Lane's story was authentic.

Not only was Lane amazing as an individual, she was also a great friend. She was the only one who was really in Rory's corner; she never judged her and supported all of Rory's relationships (my favourite example of this is when she barely tolerated Jess in S2/3 and then did a complete 180 like 5 episodes later, all because Rory decided to finally accept she liked him). Lane never pointed out what Rory was doing wrong not because she was afraid of doing so but because the two of them had been friends for years and Lane believed that Rory would figure it out one day. Lane shows this unconditional kindness not only to Rory but to everyone. She takes in her Korean cousin and teaches her to have fun even when she's afraid that Mrs Kim has replaced her, she lets Gil be in the band because she empathises with him, she takes care of the band and prevents it from breaking up multiple times. And these are only a few examples of Lane being the kindest character on GG.

One of the best things in Gilmore Girls is that the most unproblematic, amazing guy is given to Lane. Dave Rygalski is the best love interest on the show hands down (Sorry to my boy Jess but Dave was LEAGUES ahead of him at 17) and Lane definitely deserved someone like that. Their story was adorable and I would have loved for them to be endgame. However, what grates me is that when I see people talking about Lane "deserving better," it's usually about Dave vs Zach. When Lane actually deserved better as a WHOLE and not only in terms of love interests. I always thought it made more sense for her to end up alone at the end of the og series. Because Lane was a person who craved independence and she was not going to get that while tied to some guy (even if that guy is boyfriend extraordinaire, Dave Rygalski). It's even worse when we see that Lane is the only female character on the show to be treated this way. Rory rejects marriage for her career while Lane ends up with marriage as her storyline. Lorelai and Luke get back together but their relationship is still left open ended, though arguably it would've made more sense if they got married when Lane and Zach did. Paris gets into Harvard Medical school and gets a great relationship, similarly Sookie gets the family she wanted and continues to be amazing at her job. But Lane... god Lane is the only one without an open ending, without any space for speculation of where her life might lead her. Not only did they marry her off, they also gave her a terrible first time and twins, effectively locking her to Stars Hollow. The show even cut down all hope of her being a rock n roll mom as one of her S7 storylines is choosing the kids over going on tour with Zach. She doesn't get to be her own person for more than ONE season; she's stuck with being a daughter and then a wife and then a mother.

Something else that angers me about Lane's storyline is that we never really get to see how badly her relationship with her mom affects her. Don't get me wrong, I adore Mrs Kim's redemption arc and I think it was beautifully juxtaposed to Lorelai and Rory's crumbling relationship, but having a mother like that is hard. Not only did Lane have to hide 90% of her personality from Mrs Kim but she also lived with the fact that one day she might have to choose between her dreams and her mother. In the end, Mrs Kim makes that choice for her and deals with it by kicking Lane out in S4, and yet we never really see how that negatively affects Lane. Hell, Jess acts like a broody teen for two seasons, Rory wastes six months of her life away at the DAR and they both come out of it successfully. Lane gets kicked out, figures out her own living conditions, gets a job, works insanely hard for her band and... ends up having to give her dreams up completely.

Lane and Paris shared a lot of similarities too, even if they both had different friendships with Rory. They both came from terrible families and looked to Lorelai as a mother figure, they both cared deeply for Rory, and they were both incredibly passionate about their careers. Paris made calendars and flashcards and went crazy studying for both pre med and pre law. Lane was a walking, talking music encyclopaedia, she bought CDs obsessively and organised them by genre under her floorboards, she taught herself to play the drums and then found a band to play for. And yet... only Paris becomes successful in the end, whereas Lane takes over Kim's antiques. Lane was still a musician in AYITL and she can be rock n roll even with kids but this is all hypothetical and we never see it on the show.

There is a lot of terrible, lazy writing on the show and a lot of characters get ruined because of it but with Lane, her character stays the same, they just ruin everything else for her. I think she'll be an amazing mom and will probably make her best out of doing music casually. But the writers also took something so special and destroyed it just because Lane stopped being as important to the plot as she was in seasons 1-3. Lane and Rory drifting a little after Rory leaves for Yale makes perfect sense, that's just how relationships are, always changing. And yet as Lane's importance to Rory decreased so did her importance to the writers.

Lane wasn't the kind of character that needed character development or a redeeming character arc- she was never a bad person and nothing about her had to be fixed, unlike Jess or even Paris. All she really needed was for her dreams to come true because for the first 4 seasons her dreams were the biggest fixture of her personality. Like how Jess needed to overcome his trauma and Rory needed to figure out where she fit in and Paris needed to become a girlboss, Lane needed to realise her dreams because that's where her arc was leading her. But it just didn't happen. Instead, Lane becomes 2-dimensional; a large part of her screentime is taken up by Zach problems, her dreams fall flat and she becomes tied to Stars Hollow for the rest of her life. Not to mention we see less of Lane in favour of Logan and the dickhead posse.

This is not me hating on all the other characters I've mentioned in this meta, I'm just pointing out the lack of respect the writers have for Lane in comparison to all these other people who fulfilled the role they were made for. Why would you write Lane to have all these dreams and make her struggle so hard for 4 seasons just to smash them to pieces? And why is it that one of the only POC characters on this show is treated like this?

And you can't tell me the writers didn't know what they were doing, not when this is a direct quote from Lane in S7:

"It was such a small window -- a peephole, really. For years, I was this repressed kid, and then there was the briefest of windows. And then -- slam. All of a sudden, I'm this overburdened mother. I barely got to do it, Zach. I barely got the chance to be a person."

[nevermindirah]

can you recommend me some of your favorite book of nile fics?

CAN I. Anon, I have read every single fic in the AO3 Booker/Nile tag with the exception of a handful that will trigger me. I read my faves over and over again. We're currently at 303 works in the tag, and a handful of them are Joe/Nicky fics with "if you squint" BoN (I still read them, I can't help myself) but the vast majority of them are AMAZING. Fandom is full of kind and talented people, holy shit.

if you want a slow burn — you're in luck because this ship SPECIALIZES in slow burn!

First, the triumvirate of Book of Nile Classics. These were the first long fics for this ship and they're all so unique given they share basically the exact same premise, that Nile and Booker get to know each other slowly through run-ins spread out over years of his exile.

Five Times Booker Broke His Exile and the One Time He Did Not by @sphinx81: The one where they keep running into each other on ops, with the angsty middle chapter where Booker gets deep in his self-hate and calls Nile a clueless child and Nile reasonably tells him to go fuck himself and doesn't speak to him for years.

everywhere on earth you go (you're gonna have me) by nondz (pinkjook): The one with the buddy system. This is the only BoN fic that has a podfic as far as I'm aware! You can listen to it over and over and over again! The reader's voice is so soothing! [Podfic] everywhere on earth you go (you're gonna have me) by sallysparrow017

The Last Man on Earth by Survivah: The one where Booker doesn't show up in London when his exile's up, so Nile tracks him down, they get stuck in a broken elevator, and she gives him a medium sell.

Any Port in Storm by CypressSunn: Nile gives up her evac spot so a dad with kids can escape a blizzard that's on its way in rural Canada, and Booker stays behind with her, because Nile may know her shit about surviving in the desert but she doesn't know anywhere near what Booker knows about freezing to death. If you really want to up the angst on this one, first read a mausoleum fit for me by @spectralarchers for (a really interesting take on Booker's mortal life and) a visceral, detailed exploration of exactly how shitty Booker's experience was of starving and freezing on the Russian campaign.

If everything I do has got a hole in it (then everything you do has got a hold on me) by AnnieTheMouse: Nile will take over for Andy, but not just yet. First she's gonna be a little irresponsible, enjoy herself a little bit, sow her wild oats. If one of her hookups happens to also be fucking Booker, what about it?

Part of the Union by GlassRose: This is a newer take on the Book of Nile Classics genre where Nile and Booker run into each other over the years. Best friends to lovers, facilitated by a Team Baby union contract. Featuring stunning art by albymangroves, my absolute favorite fanartist from Captain America fandom.

Bring the World Back Into Tune by @mprosperossprite: Technically an AU, but 2 Old 2 Guard will make AUs of all of these, right? Hades and Persephone magical realism elements on top of a gorgeous, nuanced analysis of what it means, in practice, in such a complicated and fucked-up world, to "do what we think is right". Star-crossed, spanning years and continents, lives not permanently ruined but much blood shed. (Hi I originally joined Tumblr because of the Veronica Mars movie anybody else see the Logan/Veronica parallels??)

Announcing Your Place in the World of Things by @mprosperossprite: The soulmate goose AU. Yeah you read that right! I'm putting this here and not in the AU category because it's my list and I make the rules. Some people have soulmates, and those people get a daemon-type friend who's a goose so your goose can lead you to your soulmate. This closely follows movie canon and answers questions like, what if our elderly friends had soulmate geese with them in Goussainville? (Mouse over the author's username and peep her icon! Look how sweet chibi-Nile is with her soulmate goose Tigris! Look, anon, look!!)

Wish You Were Here by @aimmyarrowshigh: The latest entry in the Book of Nile Classics genre, this time starting with a postcard. Part I is up now and Part II is coming soon. Bookmark for later if you want a satisfying ending, or go read it right now if you want a deliciously WHAT emotional cliffhanger. (It's so good! I recommend it! Also waaaaaaaaaaaaaaah c'mon you're gonna leave us hanging on THAT??)

I'm also gonna include my own here, because I'm really proud of it and whatever it's my list: I See Your Eyes Seek a Distant Shore. Nile becomes the guard's leader, moves to London on her own to adjust to immortal life, develops a long-term plan for how exactly they're going to do what they think is right, and gets a shit ton of emotional support from the guard and Copley and several OCs and a certain exiled Frenchman who's dealing with his shit by getting a PhD in trauma studies. Check it out if you like politics and long footnotes and porn with feelings!

if you want an AU

The Beautiful Game by @victimhood: Elite footballers AU! This fic lives in my head rent-free to the extent that I have headcanons about the in-universe RPF fandom for these characters. Nile is a USWNT and Barça champion who had to retire early due to a worsening chronic illness, and she moves to Milan for a sportscasting job just as a new player gets traded from Copley's Liverpool to Andy's Inter Milan. How will Booker mesh with his new teammates, especially the team captain with the murder eyes? How will Nile rebuild her life after having to stop playing the game she loves? And why does Yooker keep trending on social media??

if you do take a thief by @morallygreywaren: Clue(do) AU! Six strangers (or are they?) are blackmailed into a dinner party. This fic masterfully gives equal airtime to all 3 ships in the middle of a damn murder mystery, and NILE'S DAD IS ALIVE IN THIS ONE, I REPEAT, NILE'S DAD IS ALIVE. And the author has a follow-up planned!

A General Librarian by @sweetlyenchains: Booker and his sons live in a magical manor house with a sentient library. Nile is a retired general who agrees to marry a widower sight unseen for *handwave* reasons, and she's not thrilled to be some old man's wife but it'll be fine. And then she meets the library. And then she meets its caretaker.

Les Petits Monstres by @winterequinoxx: The original gym AU. Nile gets to know the single dad of her adorable tiny martial arts students. The cutest of kid fics and the source of widely-used fanon for Jean Pierre's brothers' names.

Rhymes with Shook Her by @lady-writes: Booker the Happy Hooker! Nile's a stressed grad student who books a sex worker to get her out of her head, and you'll never guess what happens next 😏😏

The Kids Are All Right by @takethisnight-wrapitaroundme: The teachers AU where the students gossip incessantly about the English teacher's painfully obvious years-long crush on Ms. Freeman, and a fateful school dance where a last-minute chaperone switch-out and a teenager's smartphone change everything.

Geborgen by liadan14: Nile is sent by the CIA to take in a priority target. She makes a different call. This is a BoN-focused continuation of a primarily Joe/Nicky series that gives lovely attention to all 3 main pairings over the course of the series. Most of the commenters are there seemingly exclusively for the Joe/Nicky, and the author seems to really appreciate love for the BoN sections, so consider giving some BoN-specific love! Political and angsty and mysterious and hopeful and SO FUCKING HOT.

Cross Promotion by @rileywrites: The YouTubers AU! Slowest of slow burns. Work in progress with slow updates recently, but if the author never returns to this I think the latest chapter still makes for a very satisfying ending-ish thing.

For I Am Bound and You Are Free by EnglishAsSheIsSpoke: Selkie AU. In an alternate timeline with different countries and wars, Nile moves to a remote Scottish island in the early 1900s and joins the found family who maintains the lighthouse.

Eye Candy vs Soul Food by @lady-writes: The Princess and the Frog-inspired reincarnation AU. Short and sweet and angsty and romantic and mysterious and UGH it's so good!

Songs Written in Blood: A Nightingale's Flight by @winterequinoxx: The roaring nineteen-twenties speakeasy AU. A serial murderer is targeting talented Black people and the extraordinarily talented singer at Andy's bar is next on the list. Will the one cop who isn't a piece of shit be able to protect her? And what kinds of intimate situations might they find themselves in as the plot unfolds??

if you want porn

honey doesn't just catch flies by @queermermaids: The original honeypot fic. Nile gets back from a mission and Booker reminds her that she's home 😏😏

Take the Risk by @kyra-bane: I'm proud to say this is a result of my Kinktober request! (Almost) caught in the act. (Abortive) porn with feelings. Found family feels. This fic is a lap dance and secondhand embarrassment and a warm hug all in one sexy and hilarious lil package!

Show me somethin' natural by @highlightcity159: Nile has stretch marks and Booker would like to lick them. Leisurely we're-on-vacation established-relationship sex.

Almost Familiar by @takethisnight-wrapitaroundme: Nile's trying to pick someone up in a bar but nobody's sparking her interest, she's like a hundred years old and all these people are so young. Then the bartender hands her a drink from an admirer across the room. You'll never guess who it is or what happens next 😏😏

and still my heart has wings by allandmore99: "Booker is a good house husband and comes to visit publishing executive Nile on her lunch break."

ain't even done with the night by ourdarkspirits: MISSION FIC. Evening wear, posing as a couple, high stakes, close quarters, a heart-pounding mission followed by heart-pounding feelings followed by, well, you can guess 😏😏

With the One I Love by @takethisnight-wrapitaroundme: THIRTY ONE completely different smutty, smutty fics, one for every day of March. Tone and context and kinks and warnings vary wildly, there's something for everyone in this smorgasbord of porn!

Don't//Speak by @lady-writes: This fic is not for everyone — read the tags/warnings (which I contributed to as beta!) before you read. Nile and Booker explore kink. Andy, Quynh, Joe, and Nicky come home a lot earlier than they said they would.

Dido Burns by @mprosperossprite: If Nile wants an orgasm, she has to keep reading. Inspired by a certain WHAT THE FUCK DUDE Matthias Schoenaerts insta post that I can't find the link to right now.

And another two of my own: problem solved it's dissolved, a gym AU where they hook up and later find out Nile is Booker's new coworker. Graphic depiction of pegging if you're into that. 😏 And you have the right to lose control, my mission fic meets friends to Domme/sub lovers Big Bang contribution, complete with a sexy BoN playlist and 10 (yeah you read that right, TEN) different kink scenes. (Quarantine is hard of a slut, I'm coping, ok?!)

if you want angst

The Comforting Arms of Home by @highlightcity159: Nile leads her first mission, it gets a little rough for her but they make it out just fine, and people who are not Nile have just a whole fucking lot of feelings about the mission getting rough for her. Apologies are owed. Apologies are made.

Honeypot Missions Aren't So Sweet by redlionspride: In which Booker makes out with the mark and Nile has a lot of feelings about it. What, will they have to use their words?

Save Yourself and Confess, also by redlionspride: In which a building collapses with Nile, Booker, and a half-dozen kidnapped children still inside. Whump and its aftercare.

if you want fluff

The House Husband Interludes by @highlightcity159: Delicious little established-relationship slices of life seen through Nile and Joe's friendship.

Love and Tresses by @sphinx81: The fluffiest fluffy bathrobe of fics that I would literally wrap myself up in like a blanket if I could. Booker helps Nile with her hair.

You're my river running wild by @energievie: Nile and Booker road trip from Tijuana to Vancouver. The most established of established relationships is even more adorable when you see them interacting with strangers on the road.

While we're at it, the entire Gooey series by @energievie is Grade A Fluff!

2117, Revisited by @lady-writes: An absolutely stunning take on Booker and Nile's wedding. I had the absolute pleasure of helping out as Jewish wedding traditions resource for this and I cried at the finished product. A modern English interpretation of the traditional Sheva Brachot (seven wedding blessings) interspersed with the thoughts and feelings and mortal-family heirlooms the wedding couple and their immortal family bring to their chuppah.

[thisaccisdead]

montreal - roman hurt/comfort

pairing: this was written to all be platonic prinxiety, but can definitely be interpreted romantically !

warnings: unconventional self harm, non-graphic descriptions of wounds/injury

summary: a post-POF roman hurt/comfort fic in january 2021? yes <3

word count: 3.2k

notes: large portions of this were salvaged from one (1) night last summer at 4am when i was having a . time. the rest has been mainly recently written before i go to bed, with some extra bits added during my history classes B)) also shout out to [REDACTED]. u may not read this but if u do, i hope u know who u are & ilu

Virgil had been trying to calm himself down for the better part of an hour, as soon as they got back from the wedding fiasco; and he was doing a relatively okay job. Considering the circumstances, at least. Or so he thought, when he registered a spike in Thomas’s anxiety. This only served to make Virgil more anxious, because he had thought he had been doing well—until, he realized it wasn’t anxiety, not exactly, not fully—and it wasn’t coming from him.

Once he'd figured that out, it wasn't hard to trace the feeling to the imagination. He paused at the door. If this was where the strongest negative emotions were coming from, he already knew which side this was about. And could he really be surprised? Roman had wanted that callback for so long. Even at the court case, even when Roman gave Thomas his sentence, Virgil knew it killed him. And Virgil didn't do anything. Because he was so fucking scared of Thomas being bad, or of Janus winning, or something, and now whatever was going on was his fault, and--

And now was not the time for these thoughts. He breathed in. He opened the door.

Immediately, he was coughing out soot, heat burned his cheeks, his eyes blurred with protective tears forming against the smoke. It was hard to see, let alone process, what was happening. Then, he caught sight of the Dragon Witch. And he caught sight of—

“Roman!” Virgil choked on the yell, coughing again.

Obviously Roman couldn’t hear him from the distance, especially considering the brutal roar of the creature. Adrenaline kicked in, and as Virgil began to sprint towards the prince, he took in the entirety of the scene with alarm. Roman was...fighting, sure, except that Virgil had seen him fight before, and this... wasn’t right. Roman bested manticore-chimeras like it was a breeze, he HAD bested the Dragon Witch herself in every form she took, “just for training.” He always moved like he was in a ballet, not a battle, like it was more for show than challenge, and now...

Virgil watched Roman fall to a hard swish of the creature’s tail, and stay there. He almost expected the Dragon Witch to take mercy, or at least, to accept an early victory. But he watched her rear back, raise a taloned hand, the magma-red in her throat glowing brighter and brighter—just as Virgil got close enough to let fight win over flight.

Virgil crashed into Roman; they rolled just far enough that the swipe of claws only ripped the edge of Virgil’s jacket.

Immediate danger out of the way, Virgil clenched his eyes tight, trying to do it how Logan taught him. He found something that didn’t make sense--the grass. The grass was dry, therefore it should have been burning, but it wasn’t. He took that foothold to dispel all the fantastical elements of the scene, Dragon Witch and all her carnage blinking from existence. The new calm of the scene was jarring.

That just left a great big field, Virgil, and one absolute dumbass.

"What the fuck, Princey?!"

Virgil’s voice was distorted with stress, and Roman stared up at him wide-eyed, unsure—even terrified in a way that hurt. Virgil quickly pushed himself up so he wasn't pinning the other. Roman tried to copy this movement, only to groan, start coughing, and fall back again.

“Shit, I—“ Virgil looked at his hands and found red on them, looked at Roman and saw the color painting his chest. “I thought I dispelled all the imaginary stuff, why—?“

“Left brain sides can only dispel so much of what right brain sides feel,” Roman said, voice rough and thin and upsettingly casual, “Since they feel so real to me, you can’t get rid of them.”

“They feel…? Christ, ok, you need a medical kit, uhm—“ Virgil closed his eyes again; he was notoriously shitty at summoning things, and he had to concentrate for this—

“That’s ok; I’ve got it,” Roman said, letting out a quiet hiss as he propped himself up on one arm, and summoned the medical kit with the other, “You can go now.”

Virgil gaped at him in disbelief. When Roman attempted to stand up, and Virgil could no longer deny he wasn’t joking, he exclaimed, “Like Hell am I going, idiot!”

Roman just stared at him, and Virgil cursed under his breath. “Ok ok, let’s just... we should do this in the bathroom, uhm—“

Virgil awkwardly clambered over to Roman again, taking his hand, so he could blink them over together. He knew it would probably be more comfortable for Roman to sink in and out, but considering Virgil wasn’t practiced at that, he wasn’t going to risk screwing it up.

They apparated into the bathtub, and Virgil scrambled up, taking the med kit from Roman's hands.

Ok, ok, now Virgil just had to remember that one time Logan lectured them all on “Side Safety.” He took a shaky breath and washed his hands quickly, before turning back to Roman. He allowed himself to fully assess the prince this time and… Jesus. He was slumped against the back of the tub, having given up his attempts at composure while he thought Virgil wasn’t looking. His litany of scrapes, cuts, bruising, his shallow breathing, and--most of all--the wet, red patch slowly growing on his shirt, sparked renewed panic in Virgil.

“Ok, fuck, ok--let’s do this,” Virgil said, mostly to himself, as he knelt down by Roman to undo his already tattered shirt and take a wet towel to his chest. He had to suck in a breath at the sight of the jagged wound, a nauseous feeling catching up to him.

“You’ve already done a lot, you know,” Roman insisted. “You can--”

“If you tell me to go, Princey, I swear I’ll make these wounds worse myself,” he said, not meaning it in the slightest, which he would assume Roman knew--but the way Roman flinched and shut his mouth told a different story. “Shit, I didn’t mean that. Of course I didn’t mean that!”

Roman glanced away, and Virgil reached to cup his cheek, an instinct he didn’t know he had. Luckily, he caught himself in time to retract his hand. They both avoided eye contact for a second; Virgil cleared his throat; and he reached for the bottle of hydrogen peroxide before pausing. He vaguely recalled Logan mentioning how strong alcohols would only cause more harm, and they should just stick to mild soap instead. He gave the cut a longer look-over—it was certainly not a pretty sight, but probably not as bad as it looked. It was large, but not too deep. Plus, as sides, it would heal itself without needing anything like stitches or professional medical work. The past scars littering Roman’s body were proof of that. Actually--had he always had this many scars? Virgil squinted. How often did he do this?

Virgil finished cleansing and bandaging the wound to the best of his ability, with little talk beyond the occasional, soft “sorry” at Roman’s winces. When he had finished, he gave Roman his hoodie (an action the Prince was too tired to take much notice of), since summoning a new shirt seemed like a waste of whatever energy he had left.

“Ok, Princey, all done. Uhm, are you—how, how are you?” Virgil mentally kicked himself.

A small, bitter smile tugged at Roman’s lips for just a moment. He opened his mouth and then closed it, and finally shrugged. “Thank you for your help.”

It hurt, Virgil realized. Roman’s quiet voice, where near-shouting was his usual speech. His unkempt hair sticking to his forehead, where it was usually styled to be very lightly and intentionally ruffled. The bags beneath his eyes where there was usually concealer. All of it hurt.

Virgil sucked in a breath. “Look, I’m sorry if I’m being annoying, but I hope you know there’s absolutely no way I’m leaving yet.”

“Virgil,” Roman almost said it as a whine, which was closer to his usual style, so Virgil considered it progress.

“Roman,” Virgil deadpanned back.

Roman huffed. “Maybe I need space to really explore my feelings, and you’re actually being a terrible friend right now,” he argued.

“Uh-huh, well being a terrible friend is always my favorite, so,” Virgil leaned down, fumbling slightly as he picked Roman up bridal style, “We’re gonna get you to bed, and you can explore your feelings by sleeping.”

“Great, now you’re damsel-in-distressing me,” Roman said sarcastically, but he leaned his head into Virgil’s chest as he did so, which kind of ruined his point.

“Yeah, yeah. Act more like Megara next time, and maybe it’ll be different.”

•••

Roman groaned upon waking up. His whole body ached, but mainly it was focused around a sharper pain in his chest. He let his eyes flutter open, only to find Virgil staring at him from his desk.

“Ah,” Roman uttered, a jumble of memories from the past few hours returning. They felt foggy and mildly icky, but mainly the pain in them was the numb kind of pain, the tired kind. Really, it was indistinguishable from the dull ache of his bruises and cuts.

“Yeah,” Virgil said, as though he understood, even though he couldn’t possibly. “Uh, wanna talk about it?”

It was clear Virgil felt awkward asking the question. It was unclear whether that was due to his tendency to be embarrassed by everything he said, or—far more likely—that he wanted to stop babying a stupid prince, and just go about his business.

Roman sat up, suppressing a wince as best he could. “Do you want to hear about it?”

“Of course I do.” Virgil said it without an ounce of hesitation. Roman’s breath caught.

“Oh.” Roman shifted slightly over, and Virgil took a seat by him on the bed. “Okay. Uhm. I don’t know, I just—I messed up.” What else was new?

“...What did you mess up?” Virgil asked, with an inkling of suspicion, like he knew what this was about. But it wasn’t that; it wasn’t the callback—that was over and done and dead. Roman had created so many fantasies, so many crazy scenarios where they could somehow still make it in that stupid movie, and it had always filled him with hope or crushing pain or something, but as of this afternoon? He didn’t even care. It didn’t matter.

So, Roman ignored the question, and instead commented, “Janus got accepted.”

“What the fuck.”

Roman observed Virgil’s stricken expression like an unsettling kind of mirror of himself when—

My name is Janus.

“Yeah,” Roman sighed, “I didn’t take it so well either.”

Virgil looked at him for a long moment, seeming to go through several series of emotions, before he was able to ask, “...What happened?”

Roman inhaled sharply. “I was wrong about being wrong about the wedding. Patton was also wrong; Janus was right, and then Patton was right because he wasn’t a total asshole to Janus, and I’m evil; Thomas hates me; whatever, you get it.”

He thought he would break down, saying it, but he felt oddly… fine. He sat, staring at the same spot as he was before, absentmindedly annoyed at the way his bandages itched. The normalcy of the situation almost made it worse. This sucked. This wasn’t even bad.This was the worst he had ever felt.

“Oook,” Virgil said, clearly not knowing where to start, “I—you—what do you mean: Thomas hates you?”

“Thought that one was self-explanatory.”

“He can’t hate you,” Virgil said with a laughable amount of conviction. “You’re still his… y’know.. goals. Desires. Hopes. Whatever. Just because this one didn’t go… perfectly, doesn’t mean you won’t keep—“ he struggled to find the phrasing for a moment— “...fighting, uh, valiantly for Thomas’s dreams!” he attempted at the encouragement with a weak smile.

Roman just shook his head. “No. I don’t know what he wants.”

Virgil’s smile dropped into confusion. “But… you are his wants.”

“That’s kind of the problem.”

Virgil seemed at a loss, and Roman felt like an asshole. Here he was trying to help him, and Roman couldn’t even be bothered to put on a smile to dismiss him from the duty.

“Please go,” Roman attempted weakly when he couldn’t find a more convincing argument in himself. He was meant to be an actor, but he knew he couldn’t hide the fact that he wanted him to stay, of course he did, so badly. He hoped Virgil would just quit with the chivalry and go despite that.

Virgil sighed deeply and pinched the bridge of his nose. “Shit, I'm going about this all wrong.”

Roman knew it probably wasn’t really him Virgil was mad at, but it was hard not to shrink away anyway.

“Look, Roman—“ Virgil turned to him, looked at him seriously, took his hands in his— “To be honest? I don’t care what happened. I don’t care who was right or wrong—I mean, we all know I’ve been in the wrong more than my fair share. It doesn’t change how I feel about you.”

Roman didn’t miss the ambiguity of the end statement. “But… look, you don’t get it. When you mess up, you’re still you. You’re still...,” Roman gestured vaguely, which upset his bandages, and when he looked down at himself, he took note of the black/purple hoodie he was wearing. He melted slightly. This was exactly the point he was trying to make, “You’re still... y’know. Important.”

“Wh—? Of course you’re important, Ro. You’re creativity—“

“Thomas has two of those.”

Virgil looked at him like he was stupid. “Right, as if you’re anything like Remus.”

Roman’s lip quivered at that, and he had to look away, which was so stupid. And suddenly he felt all of the embarrassment at once—of this situation, of everything that had happened before, of the way he was about to cry, in front of Virgil, after he said that, which must look so—

“Roman?”

A hand was on his cheek, softly turning his face towards Virgil’s, though Roman still refused to meet his eyes.

Virgil cursed to himself under his breath. “Shit, this is exactly what I was trying not to say.” He sighed, and Roman hesitantly looked up at him. “Look. Even if you weren’t creativity, if you weren’t hopes or dreams or any of it—if you were a completely pointless side, which you aren’t, but if you were—I wouldn’t care. What I care about is that you’re... Roman. That you bother me until I sing Disney with you, that when you put your heart into something, you do it to a stupid amount, that you make Thomas take trashy buzzfeed soulmate quizzes when he’s stressed, and that you fucking try so hard for everything, even when I’m being a little bitch about it,” he paused. With the hand on Roman’s cheek, he traced the line of a scar down his jaw. It was one of the ones Roman usually made sure to put an illusion over, he noted offhandedly. “I care, because you’re my best friend.”

“Don’t say that,” Roman choked out. He couldn’t handle it if it was a lie, and part of him couldn’t manage hearing it as anything but exactly that. “Just—just—“

“Oh, Princey..”

Virgil held him as he broke. Roman didn’t know how long they sat like that as he let everything wash over him for a final time, let it all truly sink in at long last. He took heaving, messy sobs, no doubt ruining Virgil’s shirt in the process—he was quiet, though. He shook silently, save a couple choked breaths, in the other’s arms--that was a habit he had taught himself long ago.

When Roman had tired himself out, when all that was left was the pain in chest, (which was also suddenly duller—he was healing fast, even for a side—) he pulled back from the embrace. Virgil didn’t move by much, kept them so their fingers were laced together, as they sat staring at each other.

“Uhm. Thanks,” Roman gave a shaky smile, “You really—uh... I... I said some stupid stuff, huh?”

Virgil hesitated before he spoke, as if he knew he shouldn’t ask this right now, but needed to anyway. “...Roman, why’d you go to the Imagination?”

Roman felt ice stab at his chest upon the question. He didn’t want to do this. They had already talked about so much that he shouldn’t have gotten into; this was meant to be the part where they either parted or watched a stupid movie. And this, out of everything, was the conversation he most needed to avoid.

“Uh—I mean, to let off steam?” Roman gave a laugh as best he could. “Obviously, it didn’t go to plan—“

“Didn’t it?”

Roman’s face fell immediately. He struggled to come up with an answer, and even if he had had one, he didn’t think the sound would come out. This was enough of an answer in itself

“Shit,” Virgil breathed. Roman couldn’t help but be mildly annoyed by his surprise—clearly he had already known, he didn’t have to make it a big deal now.

“I… Princey—Roman…” Virgil looked him up and down, and Roman wanted to curl up and hide. “...how many times?”

“Not many,” Roman mumbled. Virgil must have known he was pushing the subject too far, because he just frowned and said,

“OK. I mean...it’s not OK, obviously, but you already know that, I just—“ he sighed. “Just… can you talk to me? Instead? Please? When you feel like… that.”

“Yeah, that sounds good,” Roman responded hastily, wanting an out from this topic.

Virgil gave him a look. “I’m serious. I mean—look, you don’t even have to talk about it if you don’t want. Just, come to me first, yeah?”

Roman’s face burned; he was embarrassed; he wanted to shrug this whole thing off, or roll his eyes, or maybe scream in annoyance. But the rational part of him knew Virgil was right. “OK,” he agreed softly, “...Thanks. For everything.”

Virgil looked surprised, and then flustered, and then waved off the earnest reply. “I mean, it wasn’t--I didn’t--it’s not like I did anything really--”

“You did.”

Virgil’s face softened. “Yeah, well... you’d’ve done the same for me. You... have done the same for me.”

Roman smiled gently at him. “By the way, Virge--” He hesitated. He was about to sound like a real dumbass if Virgil had only been saying this stuff for comfort’s sake. But making a fool of himself was becoming a theme for him anyway, so he continued, “You’re my best friend too.”

I love you.

In the same beats Roman thought it, Virgil squeezed his hand lightly 3 times. A breath passed between them. An understanding. That Roman couldn’t say it out loud, and Virgil wouldn’t.

Instead, Virgil fell back across the bed, bringing Roman with him in the motion. Roman let out a startled gasp and elbowed him lightly. “Hey! I’m injured, that could have been a fatal impact for me!” he whined.

Virgil snorted. “Yeah, yeah, OK. So, do you wanna watch a stupid movie, or what?”

[binniedeactivated]

𝐝𝐢𝐥𝐟!𝐲𝐞𝐨𝐧𝐣𝐮𝐧. || 🌪💦 (1.5)

[ m.list ]

➦ 𝐏𝐀𝐈𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆 | 𝐝𝐢𝐥𝐟!𝐲𝐞𝐨𝐧𝐣𝐮𝐧 𝐱 𝐏𝐎𝐂 𝐟𝐞𝐦!𝐠𝐢𝐫𝐥

➦ 𝐆𝐄𝐍𝐑𝐄 | 𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐮𝐠𝐠𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐟𝐚𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫, 𝐬𝐦𝐮𝐭 𝐚𝐮

➦ 𝐖/𝐂 | 3k

➦  𝐒𝐘𝐍𝐎𝐏𝐒𝐈𝐒  | 𝐈𝐧 𝐰𝐡𝐢𝐜𝐡 𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐠𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐞𝐧  𝐭𝐞𝐚𝐜𝐡𝐞𝐫,  𝐚𝐝𝐫𝐢𝐚𝐧𝐚 𝐜𝐚𝐧'𝐭 𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐢𝐬𝐭 𝐡𝐞𝐫  𝐬𝐭𝐮𝐝𝐞𝐧𝐭'𝐬  𝐟𝐚𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫.

➦ 𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒 | angst, smut

POC = person of color

yeonjun waited. he was trying to think of different ways he could address the situation but there was no other way he could think of, besides get angry. he didn’t want to get angry especially since what happened last time. he didn’t want myla or even daniel to hear them arguing and he especially didn’t want to wake up logan. but there was no way he was going to leave this situation unaddressed. he needed to say something even if it ruined them. he kisses a sleeping logan on his forehead, tucking him inside his crib and covering him with his fuzzy blanket to ensure warmth. like clockwork as soon as he turned off his light and shut the door behind him he could hear the front door downstairs opening, indicating that leah was home.

and just like always she took her shoes off at the door and went straight upstairs to the bedroom where yeonjun was. she didn’t say a word which always pissed yeonjun off. it didn’t seem like they were married anymore it seemed as though they were roommates and he hated that. especially when it seemed that way in front of the kids. he watched her go to the closet to undress and look for a change of clothes, ignoring the fact that yeonjun was sitting there waiting for her to speak. he was done waiting though. he was just going to take matters into his own hands. “so? is there something you want to tell me?”. he starts. she grabs a pair of sweatpants from her drawer. “what are you talking about yeonjun?”. he threw the condom wrapper to the middle of the bed for her to see. anxiety flooded her veins.”what is that?”. yeonjun shakes his head in disbelief. “don’t play stupid with me. whose condom is that? because it sure as hell isn’t mine”. leah swallows. “it isn’t mine either”. he tilts his head. “then whose is it? daniel’s? because he’s only in the fourth grade and he doesn’t have any money to buy it so stop being a fucking liar and just tell me the truth”.

“I’m telling you the truth. you need to calm down!”.

“don’t tell me what I need to do. you need to do a lot of things. you can start by just telling me that you’re fucking someone else. go ahead I’m a grown man I can take it”.

“oh please. nobody has time for this shit yeonjun. every time I walk in the house you find something new to argue with me about”.

“every time you walk in the house -- you mean every single night after everything is said and done? after I cook dinner, clean, do laundry, put the kids to bed here you come walking in the door like you’ve had the longest day ever I don’t even remember the last time you’ve even told your kids goodnight”.

“you’re the one that suggested I started working again remember? now you’re getting mad at my hours and how hard I work. it’s my job yeonjun”.

“so your job just cancels out you being a mom all together? your job is more important than being around?”.

she ignores him, getting into bed and angrily throwing the blanket over her shoulder while facing the opposite direction. “you know what yeonjun? if this is all we’re going to do then why don’t you just fucking divorce me. you’re obviously not pleased with anything I do”.

“and then what? raise our kids in two separate homes? going to court for custody battles and child support and all that crazy ass mess I’m not doing that. my kids don’t deserve that. we need to communicate”.

“how long have we been communicating yeonjun? it’s been like this for almost a year look where communicating has gotten us. it’s always something new to argue about”.

“because you’re a liar leah.  and you don’t want to admit a damn thing. if you can start comfortably telling me about your feelings then there would be nothing to argue about. do you even want me? be honest”.

she adjusts the blankets over herself, shutting her eyes. “I’m going to sleep yeonjun”.

yeonjun rolls his eyes, flicking the condom wrapper off the bed. “of course you are. whenever I confront you it’s always the perfect time for you to sleep”. she continued to maintain her silence hoping he would be quiet somewhere in between. and eventually he did. she was free to drift off and think about things other than the failing marriage at hand.

adriana holds her index finger to her lips while her class was in a straight line at the door. well, sort of in a straight line. the line looked a little dysfunctional and out of place, which is why she was standing in front of them giving them the silent expression to calm them down. “guys. guys before we go anywhere we need to make sure we’re silent because there are other classes still working. if we’re too loud we might lose our chance to go to the book fair today”. upon hearing that, that threat was enough for the small children to rush and stand perfectly in line putting an imaginary zipper on their lips. while she guided them down the hallway to their music class myla began to dig her hands in her pockets, feeling nothing but space on it’s insides. her heart began to sink and her mind started to race. she could’ve sworn. she could’ve sworn she asked her father for money this morning. she reached her hand into her back pockets to check but felt her ears getting hot when she realized there was nothing in those either. upon the entry way to the music classroom myla approaches adriana with tears rimming her eyes in distress. “ms. A I don’t have my money!”. she pouts with trembling lips. “you mean for the book fair?”. myla nods her head, “I can’t find it I really want to buy books”. adriana grabs the nearby tissues at the door and began softly wiping her face, “don’t worry we’re going to the book fair later on today. I’ll call your dad to see if he can bring in some money for you alright?”. myla thanks her and gives her a small hug hoping that her father could give it to her on time. “hurry to class myla”. adriana encourages, leaving myla scurrying into the music classroom with a closing door.

by the time adriana arrives back inside her classroom she was startled a little at the sound of faint movement. she wasn’t expecting yeonjun to be there looking for her. he seemed quite annoyed with her the other day after the incident so she was kind of nervous to speak to him. all her nerves went away though once she locked eyes with him and he gave her a gentle smile. “hey I forgot to give myla her money this morning for the book fair. I know she’s probably freaking out over it”. adriana smiles a little, “i was just coming in here to call you about it. she was crying and everything. she’s going to be so happy when she finds out”. yeonjun hands her an envelope with cash and adriana takes it hesitantly, yearning to address something before he disappeared. “thank you. I’ll give it back to her once the kids get back from music class. and um-- yeonjun I want to apologize for the other day. with these kids there are new issues arising everyday and i try to relieve the situation as best as possible and for some reason I didn’t think about even calling you”. yeonjun nods. “it’s alright I just get a little anxious when stuff like that happens to them. I just want to be aware. if I came off a little rude I apologize about that”. the warm smile he held at the end of every sentence made adriana blush like she was sixteen again. her eyes were elsewhere when he approached her, lifting her chin up with his hand so he could see her beautiful face clearly. once their lips aligned there was no turning back from it.

with the doors locked and shutters down yeonjun lifts her onto the desk, encasing her in the sloppiest of kisses while her arms clung around his neck in need. it felt normal, the sex between them both became the norm in whatever relationship they established. adriana wasn’t as half as embarrassed as she was the first time. instead she didn’t mind showing just how much she needed and wanted yeonjun in that moment, allowing her hand to fall to the appendage of his jeans and unbuckles them as fast as she possibly could. something in his chest swelled when adriana wrapped her hands around his hardened length and stroked him to full arousal. his hand cupped the underside of her jawline while he kissed her, allowing his tongue to roam the inside of her hot mouth. it was something about hearing yeonjun groan that pooled moisture into her panties. his groans were husky and dark, filled with nothing but lust and need. each time one escaped his throat it was more elongated than the last. the vibrations of his mouth set her body aflutter, she dug her tongue into his mouth in response exchanging saliva and rutting her hips against his leg. his fingers swept along the front of her panties until he stuck his fingers behind the elastic of them, rubbing soft circles into the swollen organ at the apex of her thighs. she began to twitch at his touch, having it been awhile since she got touched by him and was now craving it more than ever before. it took nothing for his fingers to become sticky and slick with her arousal. now she had vibrations of her own meeting his and creating a harmony of moans that only the both of them would be able to comprehend. she twists her hand up and down his length simultaneously pumping him, he felt himself rocking his hips into her hand until he felt her gushing with slick. he wanted more. he gripped her moving wrist and put her movement to a halt, whispering in between kisses. “wait a minute. let me fill you”.

his voice was soft and sincere, he maintained his mindless kisses while he reached up her skirt and dragged her panties down her thighs and finally over her ankles onto the floor beneath them. he aligned himself with her hole, teasing the head of it along her sticky folds before he actually pushes himself in, sending a sharp whine sputtering from adriana’s throat. yeonjun closes his eyes swiftly at the warm feeling of her channel clenching around his length. he too, held his mouth open with chuffs of air escaping it. their eyes were fixated on each other’s refusing to let this moment of conjoining go to waste. staring into his eyes while he was pumping himself inside of her was like another way of appreciating him and assuring him that it all felt too good for her to handle, especially since she could barely get a sound out without becoming winded at the feeling. and staring into hers was like appreciating art in it’s purest form. her gorgeous face stunned and her arousal setting a fire ablaze in his belly. he curls his fingers over the edge of the desk for support, rocking his hips inside of her while her legs were wrapped around his waist. her lips were moving against his neck but they weren’t doing much since every time he moved she’d gasp and whine. he hastened his pace and it satisfied yeonjun really, to hear her cursing softly with her head swarmed in pleasure because of him. the more he drove into her the faster the knick knacks and objects on the desk rattled against one another, adding to the sinful sounds adriana was already making beneath him. the symphony of noises spurred him on wards, making him wanting to hear more of them.

he plunges deeper, without a care in the world for who could possibly hear. he hoped anyone nearby had enough noises going on in one ear to where they couldn’t hear the breathless moans and rocking desk in the other. his strokes were rapid and by now adriana was just trying to keep herself afloat in the midst of his aggression. each time his hips slammed into her she could’ve sworn she heard another object clash from the desk to the ground. she was too far in her blissful trance to care. his cold metal necklace swept across her chest while he leans down to soak up the noises she couldn’t contain. despite the speed of his thrusts his mouth was moving lethargically against hers, appreciating the softness of her lips and how lost they made him feel each time he touched them. her body alone was like a vacation to him. her eyes, her smile, her lips, her sex-- he didn’t have to worry about anything else coming to mind when she was around. her nails clawed into his shoulder blades as another stapler went crashing down on the floor beside them, probably now broken but none of that was adriana’s business at the moment. her body was trembling, a hot feeling surged through her veins and spread through the circumference of her neck making her convulse. her tiny moans and needy noises went directly into the curvature of his neck. it felt as though a star was bursting inside of her, an overwhelming sensation rippled through her body as the head of his length touched her spot over and over again until she was secreting down her thighs and his. “fuckkk”. yeonjun breathes winded, having to fuck through her gush of a mess so he could cum too.

adriana didn’t want to seem clingy while they were finally dressing themselves but in a way she felt closer to yeonjun. she wanted more of him and not just in a sexual way. after her last relationship she promised herself that she wouldn’t take chances with any men for a while but yeonjun seemed different. so different. only, she didn’t know how to strike a good enough conversation to indicate that she wanted to take things further. buckling his jeans and fixing his now wrinkled shirt yeonjun took a deep breath and spoke softly finally executing his thoughts. “adriana before I leave I want your number. if that’s alright with you”. before she felt herself get excited she calmed down thinking that maybe, this could be him using her as a booty call. she didn’t want to get her hopes up. “yes that’s fine, i don’t mind that”. she takes a pen and writes her digits down on a sticky note and hands it to him.

yeonjun takes another deep breath. “and um- my kids are spending the night with my parents on friday night. I was wondering if maybe--you were free you’d want to go out?”. adriana bites her lips and yeonjun could tell she was thinking. he quickly speaks up. “not to have sex or anything. unless that’s what you want but i guess I’m trying to ask you on a date? do you want to go on a date with me? it’s okay for you to say no. it’s no pressure I was just wondering”. adriana laughs at his nervousness. she thought she was the pathetic one for always getting nervous around him and now here he was, a fidgeting mess. “yes yeonjun. I’d love to go on a date with you”. he smiles. “wait really?”. she throws her arms in the air. “yeah why not? why are you so shocked?”. well, yeonjun realized it’s been a while since a real woman was actually into him. of course he didn’t want to admit that to adriana. he shook his head instead. “I don’t know I guess I just wasn’t expecting you to say yes. so maybe I can pick you up at your place at like 8 maybe? I can text you the details”. adriana chuckles at how awkward he was about it. “yes 8 is fine. you’re more than welcome to text me. now go to work yeonjun”. yeonjun laughs realizing he was making a fool out of himself. he turned to leave. “okay I’ll leave. I’ll text you”. adriana waves. “please do!”. if and only if, adriana’s door shutters weren’t up yeonjun probably would’ve done a happy dance in the hallway if he could.

[a-small-batch-of-dragons]

Goodnight

Prompts: TODAY IS LESBIAN DAY WE NEED WLW SIDES - anon (who is correct)

Hi, I just wanna say I love how you writing is a perfect blend of angst and fluff.

If you want, could you write a story of Remus (or Janus) comforting Logan after a nightmare. No pressure.💚 - anon (who is also correct)

I mean we gotta appreciate the lesbians

Read on Ao3

Warnings: literally this thing is so fluffy imma use it as a pillow

Pairings: introloceit, implied background dlampr

Word Count: 1437

 Just because she’s Logic doesn’t mean she doesn’t get nightmares.

Logan’s footsteps are silent save for the few creaks in the floorboards. Despite the fact that they are decidedly not physical, it seems the laws of physics have no trouble extending to a metaphysical level. She keeps her eyes out for anyone who might be awake. She has to keep them safe, they have to—

 They’ve just got to be safe.

 She rounds the corner into the Dark Sides’ living room and pauses. Remus—Remus isn’t here. Remus is always here. She doesn’t sleep, not like the rest of them do.

 Logan feels her blood run cold.

 Remus. Where is Remus?

 She breaks into a run, looking for the one light under her door, under Virgil’s door, under anyone’s door. She rounds the corner and—

 Janus’s door is cracked, a soft glow spilling into the hallway. As she edges closer, she hears a faint tapping coming from inside.

 She hesitates, then reaches out and knocks twice.

 The tapping stops.

 “Come in.”

 Breathing a sigh of relief, Logan pushes the door open to see Janus sitting at her desk. She looks up and smiles softly. 

 “Hi, sweetie,” she murmurs, “what’re you doing awake?”

 “I could ask you the same question.” She glances at the door. “May I come in?”

 “Of course, sweetie, come in. Sit down.”

 Logan glances one more time at the hallway. Janus catches it and frowns.

 “What’s wrong, sweetie, did you hear something?”

 “No, I’m alright, I just—“ she swallows— “haven’t seen Remus.”

 “I’m in here too, Pocket Protector.”

 Logan’s head jerks around. Janus gestures to the bed and sure enough, there’s Remus, her legs kicked up behind her. She waves.

 “Get over here, Lolo,” she calls, “sit down. Jan-Jan’s gonna be protective since you’re up so late.”

 “You’re both up late too,” Logan mumbles as she does as bid, closing the door with a soft click and perching awkwardly on the end of the bed. Janus frowns, turning around.

 “Did you want something?”

 “Huh? Oh no, I’m perfectly alright.”

 Janus hisses gently.

 Logan pushes her glasses further up her nose. “May I ask what you’re working on?”

 Janus and Remus exchange a glance before Janus sighs. “A plan for a new test Remus wants to do. Hopefully, it should increase effectiveness and control the reverse-osmosis-torque factor.” She frowns at Logan when there’s no response. She waits for a second before standing and coming to crouch in front of her “Alright, what’s happened?”

 “What?” Logan blinks. “Nothing, nothing, everything’s fine.”

 Janus raises an eyebrow.

 “Mmm, what the hell is reverse-osmosis-torque factor?”

 Logan’s mouth opens and closes soundlessly. Remus huffs and scoots a little closer.

 Janus softens, reaching up to fix Logan’s glasses. “Why did you come in the middle of the night?”

 “You’re still awake too!”

 “Insomniacs, sweetie. Why did you close the door?”

 Logan stutters into silence, mouth trying to form words. Janus stands, reaching to gently cup Logan’s cheek. “Sweetie, what happened?”

 “…you won’t believe me.”

 Before she can blink, Remus is sprawled across her lap, toying idly with the hem of her nightshirt. Janus sits on the bed next to her, still cupping her face, another hand stretching out to turn off the computer.

 “Lies are my job, Logan,” she murmurs, “I’ll believe you.”

 “I had a nightmare.”

 She waits for her to laugh. Nothing except an encouraging tap under her chin.

 “It was…bad.”

 “What happened,” Remus asks quietly, “can you tell us, Lolo?”

 She swallows heavily. “I couldn’t remember who you, or Patton, or Roman, or Virgil, or—or Remus were. You—I didn’t know what to do, you—”

 Janus lets out a soft noise as she swallows again.

 “…you didn’t remember me either.”

 “Oh, sweetie,” Janus murmurs, pulling Logan’s head into the crook of her neck, “shh, we remember you, of course we remember you, you’re so important, sweetie.”

 “You’re not going anywhere, Lolo.” Remus turns over to plant her face in her tummy. “You’re ours. You’re never getting away.”

 Despite everything, the corner of Logan’s mouth quirks up. “What did I do to deserve this?”

 “You’re you,” Remus says simply, “that’s enough.”

 Before Logan can respond to that—or even work out how—Remus rolls off and starts tugging her hand. “Come on.”

 “Where are we going?”

 “You’re gonna sleep, Lolo, and we’re gonna take care of you.”

 “What about—“ she gestures toward the computer.

 “Mindless scrolling, Logan,” Janus says softly, “now come on.”

 Logan lets Remus tug her up, only to squeak in surprise when she suddenly has an armful of green.

 “What are you doing?”

 “I’m hugging you, you big doof.” She looks up at her, placing her chin flat on her chest. “You look like you need a hug.”

 “What are you gonna do, just cuddle me all night?” Remus nods. “N-no, you don’t have to, I’ll be alright—“

 “You don’t have to do that, baby girl,” Remus says, still trying to get Logan to lie down.

 “Let us take care of you, sweetie.” Janus does up behind her to wrap more arms around the two of them.

 Logan knows when she’s outnumbered. As Janus goes to turn the light off, she lets Remus pull back the covers and snuggle into bed near the wall. She lies down next to her, trying to get comfortable in the darkness.

 Only for Janus to try to lie down on top of her.

 “Janus, I—ah! You’re squishing me!” She’s met with a chuckle as Janus’s weight settles atop her. “Get off me!”

 “You’re in my spot, sweetie.” She slings one leg over hers so they’re flush. “You move.”

 “I cannot move with you on top of me!” She pushes lightly at her chest to demonstrate. In the dim light, she sees her grin turned wicked.

 “Really?” Her hands begin to slowly trail up and down her sides. “You can’t move? At all? Mind if I test that?”

 Her eyes widened. “Don’t.”

 “Too late.” She smirks and starts tickling her, smiling as she starts to giggle and squirm, trying to get away. “Seems like you can move fairly well to me.”

 “St-stop! Pl-please stop—no!”

 “But your laugh is so cute, giggle bug,” Remus says, the traitor. As her giggles turn silent, Janus kneads her sides one last time before stopping, leaning down to press a kiss to her forehead.

 “You okay, sweetie?”

 “No…more. Please?”

 Janus chuckles and runs her hand over her stomach. “Want to move out of my spot?”

 She pushes herself up, giving Logan room to roll out of the way before collapsing back down. The second she lies down, she wraps her arms around Logan’s waist, pushes her legs between her, laying her head on her chest.

 “Are you certain this is not an excuse to cuddle me?”

 Janus lifts her head up, running a hand through Logan’s hair. “Why did you come to me, sweetie?”

 At Logan’s silence, Remus chuckles and snuggles against Logan’s shoulder. “She gotcha. Now she’s not gonna let you go for a week.”

 That…doesn’t sound like the worst possible outcome.

 Remus smirks. “You know you’ve just given me the green light to protectively cuddle you at any time, right?”

 Janus plants an exaggerated kiss on her forehead, hushing her whine of protest. “You love it, sweetie. Don’t pretend you don’t.”

 “So do you.”

 “Of course.” Janus winks. “Just don’t ruin my reputation.”

 The room quiets. Remus drifts off first, whistling snores in Logan’s ear. The noise itself isn’t enough to keep her awake, but she stays doggedly alert, her eyes opening every few seconds.

 Will the nightmare come back? What if they realize that it’s true, that they don’t need me? What if this makes them decide they don’t want me anymore?

 “Sweetie,” Janus whispers, moving up to tuck Logan’s head under her chin, “shh. That’s not true, you know it isn’t. We love you, sweetie, you’re important to us.”

 In her sleep, Remus grabs onto her, turning her face into her shoulder.

 Oh.

 Oh.

 “Go to sleep, sweetie,” Janus soothes, running her hand through Logan’s hair, “we’ll be here when you wake up.”

 The hand in her hair is doing wonders to send her right to sleep. She opens her mouth to clumsily mumble: “thank you.”

 “Of course, sweetie. Now goodnight.”

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[catxsnow]

INTERRUPTED G.L.

Request: May i request a gar imagine where they keep trying to have their 'first time' but they keep getting interrupted by other titans. you don't have to write smut if you're not comfortable im just here for the the fluff + the titans reaction to the morning after for bonus because i feel like that would be so funny to write.

Warning: mentions of s.e.x. 

A/N: This was so cute to right! I love writing for Gar 

Word Count: 3.3k

Gar Logan was one of a kind.

He was the kind of person that could make you smile on your worst days. The only one who seemed to truly care when you needed to talk to someone. And most importantly, he was the one person in this world that you would die for. Over and over again.

You would do anything for him, repeatedly if he asked. Make him supper every night? Of course. Train with him? Every day. Fall asleep in his arms at night? You couldn't sleep without him. Have sex with him? As much as you wanted to, every time you went for it, someone got in the way.

It was frustrating how many times you got interrupted and soon you were about to do it whether or not someone in the team needed you. Each and every time you and Gar got some time alone, someone was always there to interrupt you.

Gar was a shy person, everyone knew that. He was awkward when it came to PDA and he frankly, had no idea what the hell he was doing half the time. Lucky for him, you could help along the way. He learned from you and to be honest, you learned a few things from his as well. You guys had molded into the perfect couple.

Dick wasn't happy to see the two of you dating. He knew how messy it could get to date teammates but there was also nothing that he could do to stop you. So, as he watched you from a far, he also reminded you to be careful. And you were, just maybe not in the sense that he told you to.

The first time you were interrupted was partially been your own fault. You knew that the Titans were busy with trying to take down their latest enemy and yet you still deemed it a good time to finally have your first time with Gar. It was relatively early in the evening but you couldn't stop the feeling running through your core.

You had barely gotten your shirt off when Dick came knocking at your door to say that the two of you were needed and to suit up. As disappointed as you were, you couldn't be mad at him for needing you and your boyfriend for a mission. So, reluctantly, you geared up and headed out while Gar tried to hide his rather obvious boner.

You didn't think that anyone on the team noticed that you were in the middle of something during that mission. Besides you being a little extra frustrated, it seemed that you and Gar was just hanging out. Dick didn't have an ounce of guilt in him - but he would have if he had known the truth.

By the time that you got back home, you passed out as soon as your head hit the pillow. Gar went to sleep that night dreaming of you.  

The second time that you found your night ruined was by Rachel. Gar had stupidly forgot to lock his door and Rachel found herself barging in when he didn't answer the knock on his door. Gar was hovered of you, lips attacking your neck and shirt completely off. He was better than you - nothing but your underwear and the blankets to cover you.

Rachel screeched just about as loudly as the door slammed. She wasn't expecting to walk in on that - in fact she thought you were out of the tower for the night. Rachel nearly ran down the hall trying to get the images of her two best friends out of her head. In public, the two of you never showed any PDA  to the point that she sometimes forgot you were actually dating.

Gar huffed in annoyance and rolled down beside you. His heart was racing from the experience and he couldn't help but the bright red blush that covered his face. He stared up at the ceiling and tried to get rid of his frustration at Rachel - he was really looking forward to finally having the time to have sex with you.

Never in his life was he so disappointed and embarrassed at the same time. Having his closet friend barge in on him on his almost first time didn't exactly get him riled up to keep going.

"'s a cute look for you," You teased him, poking at the redness in his cheeks and neck. He found himself blushing lots with you, and every time you couldn't help but admire him even more. Gar rolled his eyes and rummaged for two random shirt, one for himself and the other for you. "Rachel ruin the mood for you?"

"Did it not ruin it for you?" Gar jokingly scoffed at you. He watched you pull his shirt over your head and then crawl out of his bed. You knew what you were doing to him - swaying your hips as you walked by, bending down real slow as you picked up a pair of his sweats off the floor. His red face became even brighter as you pulled his pants up your legs. "I don't think that's gonna help."

"Can't say I didn't try," you winked at him. Walking by his mirror, your just barely got a glance at your neck. Faint bruises covered your skin - not dark enough to be obvious to anyone not paying attention but just enough to remind you that you were once again so close. "Never would have guessed you were a hickey kinda guy. Maybe it's the tiger in you."

"If it were the tiger in me I think you'd have a lot more damage," Gar joked. He laid flat against his bed and waited for you to join him. You flopped down on the opposite side of the bed and tilted you head to face him. "You've got pretty eyes."

"And you're a sap," You grinned, lightly smacking his chest. "Movie?"

"Sure," Gar quickly agreed. He loved movie nights with you. Warm blankets, you cuddled into his side, and nothing but happiness in his heart. "I'd say popcorn too but I'm too afraid to accidentally run into Rachel out there."

"There's my brave boyfriend I know and love."

><

The third time that you got interrupted was probably to most infuriating time. Jason, of all people had to be the one nagging at your door that he needed your help. You hoped that he would go away if you just ignored him, but he still didn't give up.

"I can hear you in there, (Y/N)," Jason knocked once more on  the door. You were straddling Gar, hands on his bare chest  and eyes squeezed shut in hopes that he would leave. It was no use. You wouldn't have been so mad if the two of you had already had sex at one point in your relationship - but it seemed like you never got the chance.

It had taken you so long to get Gar confident enough to be wanting to do it. This wasn't your first rodeo, but it was his. And as much as you wanted to make it special for him, it seemed like your time got more limited as the weeks went on. It wasn't just his first time, it was yours together - you wanted it to be romantic.

"You think he's gonna leave?" you whispered. Gar shook his head. With a sigh, you rolled off of him and plucked your clothes from the floor to halfheartedly put them back on to answer the door. Gar stumbled to do the same. Your hair was a mess and you were sure your shirt was on backwards but you honestly didn't care anymore.

You unlocked your door and whipped it open. Jason was standing with his fist raised and ready to knock again. He was taken aback by your appearance. Messy clothes, anger in your eyes - you were not pleased to see him. And you weren't. At all.

"What, Jason?" You snapped at him. This better be good for him to come knocking on your day. This time you really thought that you and Gar were going to make it through the night without anyone getting in your way. Apparently, you were mistaken. Again.

"Can I borrow your Led Zeppelin record?" Jason asked. You could swear that you felt your eye twitch with anger and steam coming out of your ears. You were beyond furious that he interrupted you and Gar just to borrow some stupid record of yours. Fucking Jason Todd.

Your hands clenched into fists at your side and the rest of your body was tense. It wasn't Jason saw Gar sheepishly sitting on the edge of your bed did he realize he made a mistake. You were ready to lost your shit at him for this, and you would have too if it wasn't for Gar.

He joined you at the door and placed a hand on your lower back under your shirt. His touch washed away your anger - at least some of it. "Hey, Jay," Gar smiled. You couldn't understand why he was able to keep his calm so easily, this affected him just as much if not more.

With a huff, you stalked to the corner of your room to find the record that he was talking about. You were tempted to smash it right in front of him just to leave him without the satisfaction, however it was one of your favourites too. Instead, you smacked it onto his chest and slammed the door in his face.

That should have been a big enough hint that you were furious at him.

"UGH!" you groaned as you plopped down on your bed. Limbs spread out on your messy sheets and disappointment rolling off you like waves. You were more horny than you ever have been in your whole life and yet you couldn't bring yourself to go back to what you were doing. This was a whole new kind of sexual frustration.

"Is this god giving us a sign?" You grabbed the pillow you weren't laying on and smashed it against your face. Gar chuckled at you and removed the pillow to kiss you. "Why? I just! Ugh! I'm so angry right now I can't even decide what I want to be angry about!"

"You're adorable when you're angry," Gar flirted. You glared up at him which only enticed a laugh. Usually, the sound of his laughter always brought a smile to your face, this time it just made you more frustrated with everything going on. You snatched the pillow out of his hands and hit him across the chest with it.

Gar raised his eyebrows at your outburst. He darted for the other pillow on your bed and smacked you back. He knew that this meant for him - a full out war. If there was one thing that you took seriously it was pillow fights. You never lost a single one and Gar had been the unfortunate loser every time.

"I take it back!" He cowered away from your raised pillow. You narrowed your eyes at him but slowly lowered your weapon. "You're angry already I don't want you to release it all out on me."

"Wanna go train?" You countered.

"At midnight? No!" Gar shook his head, bewildered that you wanted to go work up a sweat this late at night. It was one way to get your frustration at Jason out. You could already imagine that the punching bag was his face. "I'm ready to go to bed. And don't you dare say you're too angry to sleep."

"I'm angry enough to kick you out."

"No, you're not."

"No, I'm not."

><

Gar knew if that if the two of you got interrupted one more time, you might literally kill someone.

So, he did what any wise boyfriend would do and warned everyone on the team that if anyone knocked on your door that night, it better be because of the end of the world and nothing less of it. Though he never stated why, he was sure that the team all understood what his plan was for the night.

It was a few days after your last incident with Kori - a completely embarrassing story that you or Gar never wanted to think about ever again. That by far, had to have been the worse experience that you ever had within the tower and you hoped that Kori would never bring it up ever.

Gar had the night planned out in his head. With no one to bother the two of you, he hoped the night would go smoothly. After all your failed tries, it had to. All he had to do was wait for you to get back to the tower.

It felt like hours that he was lounging around in your room for you to come back. He went from playing some of your records to snooping around to looking at old pictures of you and your family. Time seemed so slow and when he finally heard the creak of your door open up he couldn't hide his grin.

"Holy shit, Gar!" you grabbed onto your chest. You had no idea that he'd be in your room. You draped your coat over your chair and dropped down to your bed. It had been a long day and there was nothing more that you wanted to do than to spend time with your boyfriend. "What are you doing in here? Creeping?"

Gar never answered your question but simply strolled over to your door and turned the lock. You raised an eyebrow at the sound - the only time you ever locked your door was when clothes came off. "I'm not sure if I'm ready to be disappointed with another interruption again."

"It's not gonna happen," Gar promised you. You sat up on your bed with a weary look. It was four times now that you had gotten your night caught off, a fifth time would only mean that you were nothing but bad luck. However, Gar's confidence in the two of you being left alone sparked an excitement through you.

You reached out to snatch his hand and tugged him onto the bed with you. Without even giving him a second to adjust, your lips were on his. Gar savored this kiss with you - the gentleness of your touch being dominated by eagerness. You wanted this night more than anything.

Gar was nervous - of course he was nervous. This was his first time and he didn't want to disappoint you. He knew that you would never be upset by him, no matter how the night went on his behalf. You wanted this night to be for him, not for yourself. But after all this time, you needed his touch just as much as he needed yours.

His fingertips danced along your skin and under your shirt. He was always so gentle with you; as if you were made a glass and a single harsh touch would shatter you. You didn't waste time to tug off his shirt, breaking your kiss for only a moment before coming together again.

Gar pulled you off the bed just enough to pull of your sweater and everything underneath it. Cold air dusted across your bare chest and enticed a shiver through you.

"This is usually about the time someone comes in, you sure that it's not gonna happen?" You joked. Gar's lips trailed down your neck, nipping and sucking as he mad his way to his desired destination.

"I'm sure," Gar promised. He left a more pressured bite right against your pulse point and you couldn't help but moan at the feeling. You could feel him smile against your skin, happy that he was the one causing you this pleasure.

"Last chance, if someone walks into this room after this I'm not stopping for them."

Gar only unbuttoned your jeans in response.

><

"So, uh, fun night?"

You were never embarrassed about someone else knowing you had sex. Your friends used to harass you but they never got a reaction out of you. Even now, when your won teammates knew exactly what you and your boyfriend had done the night before, you felt no ounce of sheepishness. You couldn't say the same about Gar.

Last night had been perfect. Not a single person tried to get you for something and Gar had been amazing. You wanted to relieve that night over and over again. You didn't have a single disappointment and you were sure that Gar felt the same way.

He could see why you were so mad every time you got interrupted. He was missing out on so much all this time.

The next morning, the two of you strolled out of your room with painfully obvious signs of what had happened. Dark bruises covered your neck and you had his shirt from the previous day hanging on your shoulders. Gar's hair was a mess and no amount of brushing would tame it down.

Gar tried to sneak back to his room to shower but the second that he stepped out in the hall, Jason was passing by and ushered the two of you to breakfast. He could not wait to see the amount of teasing that you guys were about to get from everyone else. So, the two of you were seated in your normal spots as Rachel finished cooking for everyone.

Jason sat across the table from you and only smirked at your glare. Rose looked between the two of you. She opened her mouth to speak but then decided against it. It was finally Rachel that spoke up and asked about your night.

You cleared your throat before answering. "Um, yep. Just uh, chill."

"Mhmm," Dick nodded to your answer. He sat on the other side of you and stared directly at your neck while you avoided his gaze. Quickly, he raised his arm to flick one of your hickey's. "Chill night, huh?"

"Ow!" you hissed in pain. Without thinking, you kicked him from under the table, which only proved even more that you were lying - not that anyone needed more proof. "Stop being such, such a dick! I'm a grown adult too, you know."

"And the kids are suddenly all grown up," Kori joined in on the teasing. Everyone was aware of her... relationship, with Dick. She was in no position to tease you about having sex with a teammate. 

"You've literally known us for less than a year," Gar pointed out after shoving a forkful of food in his mouth. "And you're not that much older than us."

"Yeah, we'll next time go to Gar's room and bother Rachel," Jason complained. He was pretty sure he nearly busted his eardrums from how loud his headphones were last night. There was still ringing in his ears. Gar's face flushed red and the comment and Rachel had to point it out to make it worse.

"Guy's stop bugging Gar," you rolled your eyes to their teasing. Your hand searched for his under the table and as soon as you found it you interlocked fingers. The last thing you wanted was for him to feel uncomfortable and then have to wait another long time before having sex again - this wait was far too long already.

"Young love," Rachel sighed.

"Well, thanks for breakfast Rach, I gotta shower," You stood up from your chair and looked around at everyone. The hickies that Dick had just made fun of reflected perfectly in the sunlight for everyone to see. Gar sat at the table with his head in his hands as everyone stared at him. 

As much as you hated that everyone interrupted you at least once, being with Gar was well worth the wait. He was nothing but perfect with you, and that’s all that mattered. 

"And I also just want to say I fucking hate you all, if you ever knock on my door again expect a punch to the face."

[silhouetteincolor]

Begin again (Part 2)

Pairing: Logan x MC

Book: Choices: Ride or Die (~4 years later)

Word Count: ~2173

Summary: Ellie Wheeler is back home after four years. Roman Bright, the billionaire she stole from while working with the MPC, tracked her down and coerced her into meddling with her dad's last case as a detective. She now has to dive back into her old life and choose whether to help Roman get away with his, or face his threats and forget about her freedom (and possibly her dad's). Can she really escape her past unscathed? Maybe, but the real question is: does she want to?

Author’s Note: Written for @rodappreciationweek from last year. To anyone reading, sorry it took me so long to continue this series (5 months!) but I promise I will see it through. I hope you enjoy it and happy new year :)

Part 1 is here and I recommend listening to this playlist while reading :) Tagging @monstercyclops (sorry it's been a long while)

Chapter Two: Home, Sweet Home

Ellie's graduation felt empty. Obviously, she was proud of herself and her dad was too. The very first twice-valedictorian and summa cum laude graduate in the family. Riya and Darius were able to make it too. A few new friends she made throughout college were cheering for her. Even Jesse showed, but Ellie couldn't really introduce him for obvious reasons. But not everyone she cared for was able to be there, sharing this milestone with her.

The commencement speaker, a big shot judge, kept going on about all the great things that were to come and all the responsibility this generation has. Ellie sighed at the less than motivating prospect of working for the next 50 years until she's so tired, it'll be a miracle she can wake up and get out of bed. But she was still a couple of decades too young to be so pessimistic about her future and quality of her life. And the huge grin on her dad's face almost made her smile too.

She found a small apartment she could afford with the money she made from racing, but soon a couple of months had passed and she was struggling to decide what to do. She could do an internship, or continue her studies, or get a job. Except none of those really seemed that exciting. In fact, the beginning of adulthood wasn't particularly exciting either. You'd think it should be different from school, but really, it's just an extension of it.

Racing took her mind off of these thoughts but she knew she'd have to make a choice eventually. As if 23 is old enough to have your life figured out. But then, everything came to a halt when Roman Bright showed up in her city and pretty much coerced her into doing his –almost certainly illegal– bidding. And, oh yeah, there was Mona too. Whom Ellie hadn't seen or heard of since she left her at the doors of a hospital, bleeding out and about to be arrested. Mona was very clear she didn't want Ellie to contact her, but still, it sucked that this was their reunion.

They hadn't really exchanged more than a couple of sentences yet, but they needed to talk things out. Traitor wasn't a word Ellie would use to describe Mona, not after she took a literal bullet for her. There had to be an explanation. She had little time to go back to her apartment and pack a light suitcase before rushing to the airport. Jesse went to say goodbye to her.

"I still think this is the stupidest idea you've ever had, Wheeler. And you have plenty of those". Jesse was certainly trying –and failing– to put on a brave face. Cracking jokes and laughing to lighten his worry and Ellie's. "I don't get why you can't tell your dad-"

"No way. He's the reason I'm even doing this. If he found out, he would-" Ellie said abruptly and rubbed her eyes, they were puffy and irritated from crying and barely sleeping the night before. This was her mess, her past mistakes coming back to bite her in the ass, and only she had the responsibility to make things right –or ruin them for good–.

"I just don't want to put him in even more danger. Besides, he's retiring. The last thing I want is to drag him into my shit again."

Neither wanted to say anything else, but there was an understanding that passed between them. Ellie's mind was set and, so far, no one has ever been successful at changing it.

"I don't know when I'll see you again, Jess."

"Hey, at least you think there will be a next time. I like your confidence."

"Jerk." They hugged it out and stayed that way for a minute.

"See you around, Wheeler." Jesse gave her one last look and mock saluted her like a soldier. Then he walked away. It was time to go home.

***

Standing on her doorway, everything seemed to catch up to her. Was she really going down this path again? In a way, now she had more to lose. Above all, her freedom. Because she couldn't run back to dad and let him fix everything again. She wasn't a kid anymore, and this wasn't street racing either. One misstep and she could land herself in jail, for real this time. Four years ago, she let herself get whisked away and into a whirlwind of way-over-her-head events. A high school girl playing the part of a grownup, and a career criminal at that. She had to make this work, it was her chance to help her dad, instead of the other way around. Just a couple of days or a week, tops, and she'd be back in the east coast to resume her life.

Although she still had her keys, she'd feel wrong using them. So, she rang the doorbell instead. There was a loud sound, like a chair suddenly being dragged. Ellie heard footsteps approaching and not two seconds later, her dad opened the door and greeted her with a bone-crushing hug.

"Ellie, you're here. I told you to text me when you landed, I would've gone to pick you up." Mr. Wheeler was beaming. He had changed little in the last couple of years. Sure, time had wrinkled his forehead further, but he did frown a lot. He also looked slightly hunched and had the faintest of dark circles under his eyes. It was probably a good thing he was retiring in a couple of weeks. He could finally rest for a while. Although, knowing him, Ellie was sure he wouldn't stay put too long.

"Hi, dad." She sheepishly patted his back. Since her time with the MPC, they had found a way to trust each other again, but the truth is Ellie always felt that a wall had been built between them. It was as if their renewed relationship was hanging by a thread, and Ellie had come home carrying razor-sharp secrets.

"Come in, come in. How are you? Was the flight nice?" He bombarded her with questions, most of which Ellie had no clear answer for. "Is the internship going good? Are you sure it's okay to take a couple of days?" Yeah, about that, Ellie told her dad she had scored a very prestigious internship working for a pharmaceutical corporation. A lie, of course, but she bragged about it being so very exclusive; she couldn't really share many details. Confidentiality agreement and all. Bull-shit.

"Flight was good. And the internship is going great, I can miss a few days. It's not like I'm a lead chemist or anything." She bit her cheek on the inside, she hated lying to her dad, but anything was better than confessing to spending all her time street racing and doing stunts.

"Yet, but give yourself a few years and you'll be leading the projects yourself." He assured her with a smile so sincere it pained Ellie to look at him. He was so proud of her.

They went inside and Mr. Wheeler insisted on carrying her suitcase up to her old room. He then promised to make her the Ellie Special, a Belgian waffle he used to cook for her on her birthday and special occasions. She thanked him and said she'd be down in a bit.

Her room was exactly the same as she left it the day she jumped on her Chateaux Panther and drove it all the way to Langston. It was a freaky sight, the room and her belongings hadn't matched Ellie's personality in a long time. The wallpaper was a lilac shade and her bed was littered with plushie toys and a single teddy bear. The old Langston flag was still hung on the wall. A reminder of everything she had worked so hard for. The mirror on her vanity set had a couple of photos tucked on the edges of the frame. One of her mom and one of her and Riya and Darius at the diner they used to go to study. Her hands wandered over the drawer's handle to open it. Various makeup items, nail polish, an old notebook and other stuff; but on top of it all was her mom's bracelet, a silver chain adorned with several hearts. Next to it was a photo strip of her and Logan. The one they took on her graduation party. Ellie hadn't thought of him in a while. Even after seeing Mona, it was like part of her was trying to push his memory away. She closed the drawer abruptly. She lifted the heavy suitcase and tossed it on the bed, changed clothes and headed downstairs.

The kitchen smelt amazing; her dad had always been a great cook, even if work often kept him from home. Ellie sat at the table and soon Mr. Wheeler served her a plate with a couple of stacked fluffy waffles, some strawberries, blueberries and a little whipped cream to top it all. She took a generous bite and whispered to herself.

"Oh my god, I've missed this." Whenever she tried to make them, they just didn't taste as good. Her dad joined her on the table and they both dug in. If only she were here just to have breakfast and spend quality time with him... but she had a job to do. First up, she had to drill her dad for information on his latest case.

"So, how's the retirement party planning going?" Ellie would start slow; she couldn't let Detective Wheeler feel like he was being interrogated.

"It's ready to go. Margaret pretty much took care of everything, you remember her?"

"Yeah, I think so. That was nice of her. Especially with all the work you're still doing." Ellie arched a brow and pointed towards a set of papers and folders scattered on the living room. "You're supposed to take it easy, dad." Mr. Wheeler laughed wholeheartedly; no doubt Ellie had his well-being in mind.

"I am taking it easy, sweetie. But it's my last case, I really want to close it, you know." Oh, but she knew all about it. An investigation into Roman Bright, business tycoon and prime suspect of running a guy off the road and putting him in a coma. The billionaire told her all about it and what he needed her for: obstructing the case. Something only the detective's daughter could achieve on a short-term deadline. Another crime to add to Ellie's record.

I hear you have some experience in that department. Haven't you, miss Wheeler? Roman's taunting words were still on her head.

"Oh, anything interesting?" Ellie hoped she wasn't being too obvious.

"A little. Some spoiled rich kid who thinks he can get away with daddy's money." Mr. Wheeler scowled at the thought of him, and Ellie considered that was a too generous description for Roman. "Can you believe he tried to bribe an officer? It boils my blood, the entitlement... But you don't have to hear about all this. I'm sure it'll be over soon." He made a face and shushed Ellie. If she asked him anything else, he would be suspicious for sure.

"Well, I hope you get him, dad. Preferably soon, so you can go on that vacation you have planned." She was being honest, she really hoped things would work out for the best, but that wasn't likely. If Detective Wheeler put Roman behind bars, surely he'd come through with all his threats; but if he walked free, that meant Ellie will have successfully gotten away with betraying her dad, again.

"Don't worry, sweetie, I will. Cancún can wait a little bit." They both laughed.

Ellie looked down on her now empty plate. Her phone buzzed in her pocket. It was time to meet her newest partners in crime. They agreed they needed to "talk next steps", whatever god-forsaken thing that meant. Although she dreaded spending time with Roman, she had a pending conversation with Mona, and boy did she have a lot to answer for.

"I'm meeting some friends for coffee, to catch up." Another lie. Ellie wouldn't admit it out loud, but lying had become second nature to her, and she hated herself for it. "I'll be back in a while."

"Oh, sure thing. Have a good time, kiddo." He sounded disappointed but it was better not to press the subject. The last thing she needed was him asking her the questions. No, it was what he said. "My bad, not my kiddo anymore, eh?"

"I guess not." Ellie tried to smile, but her glistening eyes told a different story.

She got into her rental car, a very boring silver sedan, and took out her phone, where she had an address. She put on a brave face and drove through tears and sweaty palms like she knew what she has heading towards, but her heart was breaking inside. It never stopped breaking, throughout these past few years. Ever since she left home and the crew behind.

[thesimperiuscurse]

I'm asking ALL OF THEM for Mako. But also want to say that I really appreciate the sink picture being your header now lmfao. If Mako gets asked by someone then I switch to Misha

Poor Damien got dethroned by a sink. Time to spill Mako’s love life! It’s something that isn’t meant to be a secret but just doesn’t really get brought up in the story, because if I write every detail of the character backstories, the chapters will be infinite. Spoilers ahead for Chapter 11.

a — how does your muse show affection? 

Before he met Eva, he knew nothing of physical (non-sexual) affection, being more of an Acts of Service type. Back then he and Misha weren’t close enough just yet to share the affection they do now. As a result, his love language has developed almost entirely from Eva’s cuddling and her small, mindless touches. He’s slowly learning to return that affection, especially now that they’re in a romantic relationship. It’s subtle, no grand gestures or declarations, just existing peacefully together. 

b — does your muse like flowers? which ones are their favourite?

He loves flowers. Since he was a little kid his favourite thing to do was wander around the estate gardens, and later Tokyo, just to gaze at flowers and curl up among their sunlit perfumes. There’s something about the delicate beauty and quiet life and resilience of flowers that captures his fascination. Sakura blossoms are his favourite.  

c — does your muse like chocolate? which one is their favourite?

He can’t... eat... chocolate... 

d — what is your muse’s ideal date? where / who with / etc?

Mako liked dressing up and going to very expensive restaurants, but he doesn’t think of dates anymore, because Vicky ruined the romantics of it for him. 

e — does your muse like hugs? what are their hugs like?

Not before Eva. Sometimes his baby niece Chiharu hugs him when he carries her around but that doesn’t really count. It took him completely off guard when Eva just ran up to him at regionals and hugged him. It was at this moment he discovered he likes hugs, and these two have been snuggling ever since. 

f — is your muse good at flirting? how do they flirt?

He’s never flirted with anyone in terms of pick up lines, flattering, etc. He knows he’s sexy as fuck physically very attractive and his reputation is a powerful magnet, so it’s always people coming up to him and flirting. If he’s interested then his body language will show it. 

g  — is your muse good at gift - giving or do they struggle to get it right?

Due to relationship expectations he bought many expensive things for Victoria (mostly diamond jewellery), but the only true gift he’s ever given is to Misha for his 18th birthday, which was a collection of books and so quite thoughtful. His perspective of money is extremely warped compared to normal people, though, so if he ever was to get his partner something, he would need to consult Misha about it.

h  — is your muse quick or slow to give their heart away?

He falls in love very easily with anyone who shows him a bit of kindness (the reason why he stayed with Vicky and her unpleasant behaviour). However he is very quiet about it, and worries needlessly about whether his feelings are returned, so with Eva she’s been the one to initiate everything in their relationship so far. 

i  — does your muse find ‘i love you’ easy or hard to say?

Mako used to think it as something precious and special, as the truest expression of love. He would exchange it quite often and easily with Vicky in goodnights and goodbyes. Of course, she used this trust to her advantage for an ulterior motive. He realised that the words were just that—words, able to be uttered without feeling. Now it is tainted, and it’s likely he won’t ever be able to say it again. 

k  — is your muse a good kisser? why / why not?

Yes. Hoe. Also, his first boyfriend (Zephyr, his real name being Laurence Atlas) taught him a great deal about pleasure so credit to him, I guess.

l — who does your muse love? 

m  — how does your muse reconcile after arguments or fights?

He rarely gets into arguments because 1) he tries to avoid conflict by calming situations down and 2) who’s brave enough to challenge him? The answer to that is his partner, but they haven’t gotten into any fights yet as a couple so we shall have to see. 

o  — does your muse have a way with words?

Not really. He’s charismatic in his elegant, gentleman way, but his way of assembling words is logical. His crush on Eva rendered him shy and flustered in front of her so his ability to be a smooth talker is nonexistent. Luckily for him, Eva is also blunt so they just talk to each other in a straight-forward manner, or without words at all. 

p  — what does your muse look for in a partner? looks / personality?

Traditionally, his criteria for whoever he hooks up with is just beauty. Thanks to his work, he’s always surrounded by beautiful people, *cough* Damien. Partner wise... he wasn’t looking. Eva just burst into his life and he found that he loves her everything. 

q  — would your muse ask the big question or expect their partner to?

In his situation, technically it would be his parents who are going to be asking :/ 

r —  is your muse a romantic or a cynic?

Hopeless romantic. Because of the way he grew up, the classic depiction of romance is wonderfully appealing to him. What little he’s seen of romance in media makes his heart yearn. His traditional perception of love somewhat contradicts his sexuality, and of course now, he’s also a cynic. 

s  — did your muse have a childhood sweetheart?

No, the only kids he talked to during his childhood were his cousins. 

t — does your muse believe in true love?

Yes. Just not for him. 

u  — has your muse had their heart broken?

Yes, and it ceaselessly bothers Misha. 

w — would your muse get married? why / why not?

His opinion on marriage is neutral. He really likes the idea of a beautiful wedding (*cough* multi-million dollar wedding) and wishes for it have been brewing in the back of his mind for years. The concept of marrying for true love is just something that has never seemed real for him, so at the same time, he’s worried about the many years after the wedding, if his wife will even like his company. 

x — does your muse use / like pet names?

No, he’s really not verbally affectionate anymore. Eva will fight him if he tries to call her one anyway. 

y — does your muse get protective easily?

He is very protective of the two people he loves. He knows Eva can defend herself perfectly well, so in a way he’s more protective of Misha, who is more vulnerable. He’s not physically defensive because while he’s strong, he’s non-violent and can’t fight for shit, but there’s power in his position in society that has potential to cause far more damage than physical scars. At the moment he relies on people’s fear of this (see: Logan) rather than actually wielding it. 

[reannabeth]

So I am rewatching the Percy Jackson Peter Johnson movie, and I just thought I’d make an official post for all my icks with it.

Why? Cause I like to rant? Idk.

First off, characters:

The age thing threw me off. They’re sixteen? Seriously? Why did they think that was a good idea? Did they want it to be a full-out series or not?

Leaves less room for character growth, both physically and mentally- and romantically (which I will get to in a bit).

Plus, the way the characters are written in the books is meant to fit twelve year olds, so everything they do feels off. Pessimistic 12 year old Percy was so funny. Like his sass would genuinely catch me off guard, because he’s so freaking young and you don’t really expect him to be so fearless and rash. Movie Percy does have sass and the awkward pessimist thing down pretty much to a ‘t’, but the way the right it can come off a bit corny, despite Logan Lerman’s best acting. Boy does the guy do a great job. His performance almost overshadows the bad writing, but not quite. Gods, the Capture-the-Flag tripping all falling over himself thing was fabulous, though the rest of the scene didn’t quite match up (do they even know how that game works??) Also,,, later corniness. Again. I don’t really care about the eyes thing, because blue is still the color of the ocean.

Annabeth is way too aggressive. Why is she so eager to slice-and-dice him even though they’ve never officially met? I guess she took the place of Clarisse in that way, but WHY. Clarisse had reason; Percy humiliated her and her cabin. If they wanted to get him to heal in the water and such, that could’ve been achieved if they had just followed the freaking books. They just… butchered her character in so many ways. Her appearance, the handy dandy Yankees ball cap, all that. The whole purpose of her being blonde was to discount the stupid dumb blonde stereotype and feed into her need to prove herself to everyone. That was taken away too.

Speaking of which… Grover. Baby boi, they ruined you. I didn’t mind them making him black… until they made him all party-like and confident. That may have not had to do with his race, though, and just trying to make him act more like the satyrs from the myths. But that defeats the point that Rick made; he purposefully made Grover scared and stressed and doing his best all the time as a foil to that stereotype- which is made obvious when the Party Ponies come into play in the second book. I miss that Grover. Also, why was he just like standing around during the disaster of the Minotaur scene (Gods, they made that so lame). It would’ve been better if he was unconscious, because then he wasn’t just standing around. I could’ve excused it as him just being reluctant because he’s scared, but this Grover is brave and more protective, a better fighter. Why would he just stand and watch? There are just so many things that don’t add up.

Chiron and Luke were really the only characters that felt true to their book forms.

The stand-off between Luke and Percy was cool, but the plot twist in the book is just so much better. I was totally blown away by the easy-going camp counselor dude poisoning a twelve year old kid with scorpion venom. Also, Luke got his scar from Percy? NOOO. It was never about Percy. It was about Luke and his dad. Percy was just a means to an end or an enemy to get rid of.

Gods, they forgot the prophecy, too. And Ares. And Clarisse. And Mr. D.

I don’t even want to talk about Hades. Or Persephone, for that matter. Why was she there? It wasn’t winter and- nope, not even. Just nope.

Riptide is a ballpoint pen, not a clicky one (though this one is admittedly cooler. WE NEED THE TARTARUS SCENE WHERE HE ANNABETH FIGURES OUT HE CAN WRITE WITH IT). And the shield thingy… that’s Tyson’s. He made it in the second one.

The thing is, Rick ties everything into his later works, so many of the changes they made mess with future possibilities and therefore narrow the rest of everything.

I understand not having every scene, every detail included in the movies. But why keep things if you’re going to change them?

Why have the hydra come in this movie? It comes in the second book, bro.

WHERE ARE THE ORANGE CAMP HALF-BLOOD SHIRTS??

Oh, right I was supposed to have topics. Sorry, everything is blending in together.

uh… ROMANCE.

Why was Grover a ladies man :|

What the Tartarus were they doing with Percabeth? Long, kinda creepy stares and close contact. THIS STUPID LINE: “I definitely have strong feelings for you. I just haven’t decide if they’re positive or negative yet.”

Like,,, EW. Is this supposed to be the “You drool in your sleep” replacement? How about no.

They took away the cute little crushes and slow-burn friends to lovers (even though it kinda started off as enemies).

MOMMA’S BOY

every moment Percy had with his mom was so awful. Why is he using “mother” so much? That’s only for his dad, because they haven’t reached the kind of relationship where Percy can call him Dad. I wanted to see the scene with her coming home from the candy shop with a big bag of candy and him pretending to be cranky when she shows affection but you can tell he loves it and ughhhhh

WHY

What did I like? The music. The Lotus flowers and casino scene. The pearl plot line thing was admittedly smart, but overall problematic and questionable. Why the Parthenon? Why not Crusty’s?

I do also like Percy and Grover’s bud relationship, but Annabeth was supposed to be his guide of a sort. So they either could’ve had them both guide him, or her alone. We needed more time to get to know her.

Where was Cerberus? I guess they didn’t want a repeat of Fluffy in The Sorceror’s Stone (since this is the same director), but still. He’s a major part of the Underworld system. And I wanted fancy Italian suit Charon and the “died in a bathtub” scene. The Hellhounds were also creepy, so how does the whole Mrs. O’Leary thing work? Also, makes me wonder why they didn’t have Percy be attacked by one during Capture-the-Flag like in the books.

ALSO WHY DID GROVER STAY? WHY? The Sally I know would never let him do that. Also, Sally can’t even get through the boundaries and into Olympus anyway, so why…? Why.

Persephone being all weird and flirty to Grover was just… ew. Again. Ew ew ew ew.

Hades is not the bad guy, he just came across a situation he could take advantage of. It doesn’t make sense that Luke would get it to Hades and Hades alone. It gets rid of the whole Kronos thing.

And the prophecies were gone, too. I know they brought them up in the second one, but not very well. The second one retconned the first’s continuity and yet still sucked on representing the second one. Yeesh.

Anyway, that’s my spill. I could organize it better, but I’m too tired at this point.

[amanda-glassen]

Her Everything

Part of @svuappreciation #WSVU Week. Day 7: Heartbreak. Twelve-year-old Olivia overhears why her mom never told her who her dad is. TW: rape mention.

From March to June, twelve-year-old Olivia’s Saturday mornings would be dedicated to softball. Her team may not have won that morning, but the loss didn’t matter to Olivia. She had hit a homerun and three of her favorite people were there to watch her: her mom, her uncle, and her girlfriend, Alex. It made Olivia particularly proud to see her two favorite women dressed in her team colors. Alex was wearing a mint green v-neck t-shirt with her long hair back in a ponytail with a mint green scrunchie. Her mom wore the t-shirt that all the moms wore but, never being the kind to wear an oversized t-shirt, she had cut it into a tank top to wear with her leggings. Neither her mom nor Alex knew anything about softball, but her uncle Kyle was there to explain everything to them and, even if Alex didn’t understand the game, Olivia didn’t mind as long as her cute good luck charm was there to watch her play.

She and Alex had been a couple for two months and, at twelve, two months felt like a serious commitment, especially because Alex was now allowed to come over on weekends. There wasn’t even the slightest chance that she’d be allowed in Olivia’s room with the door closed, but Olivia didn’t care where they were as long as she was allowed to hold Alex’s hand.

They decided to watch a movie on the couch after the game while Olivia’s mom and uncle were having a glass of wine in the kitchen. Olivia always enjoyed when her uncle visited and she’d overhear the casual back and forth between them－the kind that happened between siblings－the casual teasing, sharing stories, making each other laugh. It was what Olivia sometimes longed to have even if she knew it were impossible.

“I wish I had a brother,” she told Alex.

Alex pressed pause on the remote so she could focus on Olivia without any distractions. “No, you don’t,” she told her, her eyes wide. “Little brothers are annoying. I’ll give you mine for the weekend and you’ll be so glad you’re an only child.”

“Not even,” Olivia insisted. “Your little brother Logan is fun. Remember when me and him built a LEGO T-Rex and your parents took us to the batting cages and I taught him how to hit a curveball?”

Alex batted her eyelashes at her. “That’s because you like boy things.”

“I like you,” Olivia said as she started to tickle her. “And you are definitely not a boy thing.”

“Olivia!” Alex squealed loudly when Olivia continued to tickle her. 

“Girls?” they heard Serena call out from the kitchen. “What are you doing in there?”

“Nothing,” Alex and Olivia responded in unison, although they knew their time alone was now over. She quickly pressed play on the remote and sat a comfortable distance away from Alex.

Her uncle Kyle was the first to enter the living room followed by her mom, both with a full wine glass in hand. “Your mom says we have to come cramp your style, as if she didn’t have her first girlfriend when she was twelve or thirteen,” her uncle said to her. He sat down on an accent chair on one side of the couch while her mom sat down on the other. “What are we watching?”

“The Blair Witch Project,” Alex responded. “I’ve always wanted to see it, but my mom has my Netflix profile set to a Kids’ profile. I never get to watch anything fun. I’m twelve now. I should be able to watch whatever I want.”

“Maybe not whatever you want,” Serena told her. “But I’m sure she’ll let you watch more things little by little. Middle school sleepovers are when most girls start watching horror movies.”

“I remember the first time Serena watched this movie with her friends,” Kyle began. “She had a sleepover for her 13th birthday and there were probably ten girls over. My sister thought she was so cool because she was the only one who wasn’t scared. What she didn’t tell them was that she had watched this movie the night before to prepare herself so she wouldn’t be scared in front of her friends. There’s this scene toward the end where there’s a lot of screaming and that’s when I decided to mess with the circuit breaker and turn all the lights off in the house. Serena ran to our parents’ room, screaming ‘Daddy!’ at the top of her lungs. Just like that, her seventh grade reputation was ruined.”

Olivia was laughing hysterically, but Alex wasn’t so amused. “That sounds like something my little brother would do. Why are boys such jerks?”

Serena gently swirled her wine in the glass before taking a sip. “Boys are jerks until you humble them.”

“Had I known what my sister was capable of, I wouldn’t have spent the first 18 years of my life messing with her and it’d be in your brother’s best interest for him not to mess with you either,” Kyle responded. “Serena and I are best friends now, but when we were kids, I messed with her all the time and she never did anything about it. Little did I know she wasn’t one for petty revenge. My sister is calculated and cunning and she got me back in the best way.”

“How?” Alex asked, wide-eyed. “Is it something I can do, too?”

“Maybe in a few years,” Serena responded. “It was the first time frat boys proved themselves useful. Out of every college in America, he decided to go to the same school I did and join my sorority’s brother fraternity.”

“Had I known my sister had actual henchmen, I wouldn’t have,” Kyle chuckled. “This was 2007, so you know those douchey looking frat boys in teen movies back then with the gelled hair and Abercrombie shirts with the popped collars? That’s exactly what they looked like. They had these rich boy names like Kemper, Bennett, and Bradford, and my sister had all of them wrapped around her finger. They made my life a living hell when I started pledging just because she told them to and when I begged her to call this whole thing off, she said, in the most innocent tone of voice, ‘My darling baby brother, this is only the beginning. You still have eight weeks left.’ After that, I never messed with Serena again. To this day, I won’t even eat the last slice of pizza until I make sure Serena doesn’t want it. There was this other guy, Emerson, who was her best friend at the time－”

“I have to call my girlfriend,” Serena interrupted. “Excuse me.” She quickly got up to leave and Kyle hurried after her.

“Ren, I’m sorry. I wasn’t thinking. Ren?”

Although she wanted to check on her mom, she knew whatever her mom was upset about was probably something she had no business asking about, so she decided to stay with Alex. “Everything is okay,” Alex said as she rested her head on Olivia’s shoulder. “My brother and I fight all the time and everything is okay after our parents make us talk about it.”

“Maybe you’re right.” Olivia pressed play on the remote and the two of them watched the movie until the pizza arrived. With free reign to order whatever she wanted, Olivia got two large pizzas, wings, cheesy bread, and pasta. It took both her and Alex to carry it to the table, but Olivia made sure to carry the pizzas because they were the heaviest items and Olivia thought it would show Alex how strong she was. 

“I’ll be right back,” she told Alex once everything was neatly placed on the kitchen table. “Mom! Uncle Kyle! The pizza is here!”

She pressed her ear to the door and kept as quiet as she could so she could hear them talking. 

“How could you even bring him up in front of Olivia?” she heard her mom ask. “Or bring him up in front of me, for that matter? You’ll never understand what he did to me...what he still does to me every time I see him on social media with his wife and kids. He ruined my life when he raped me and it didn’t phase him. I don’t follow him. I don’t search for his name. I blocked him, but there’s no getting away from him in our social circle when everyone knows everyone. I have these constant reminders of the worst night of my life. Even Olivia…I just thought...how could I love someone that was conceived by a monster?”

She never even wanted me. She still doesn’t want me. The person I love most in the world doesn’t even love me back. She’s just been saying it all these years because she’s had to. Olivia swallowed hard to prevent herself from crying. With Alex waiting for her in the kitchen, she wanted to remain calm and collected. She didn’t cry when she saw her. Instead, she hugged Alex longer than she ever had before and found comfort in her arms since she knew she couldn’t hug her mommy anymore.

Just as she had been taught to do by her own mother, Serena touched up her makeup and pretended as if nothing had happened. It was all a misunderstanding her mother had told her when she was twenty-one. ‘What did you expect, Serena? You were in his room and you kissed him.’ It was the same thing his mother and father had told her, too. ‘How was my son supposed to know when you were giving him every signal that you wanted him to.’ Her father had told her not to report it; they’d settle this between the two families. Mr. Benson was a producer and with a premier coming up, he didn’t want an investigation getting in the way and ruining his career. Social media was in its infancy in 2008, but Emerson and his parents had found a way to use it against her. 

That night, once Alex and Kyle went home and Olivia was fast asleep, she started to reflect on what had gotten her to that point in her life. It happened at a beach-themed party that Emerson’s frat was hosting. She was in a bikini top and denim shorts as were the rest of the girls and she had taken a few shots as had everyone else at the party, but the pictures posted on Facebook the next day portrayed a girl that had gotten completely wasted and was hanging on the entire executive board of the fraternity. For the past two years they had been her friends and she had several pictures with them, but because of what she was wearing and because these were some of the first to be posted on social media, an entirely different narrative was created, one that even her own parents believed.

Serena knew the statistics on rape that were told to her and every other student during freshman orientation, but she had lived a sheltered life before college and she had always imagined that rapists were scary-looking men that attacked girls in the middle of the night when they walked alone on quiet streets. She never could have fathomed that her rapist would be her best friend. 

With three weeks left of her junior year, Serena was already looking forward to her final year of college. She had run for president of her sorority and found out she won just hours before the party began. Serena wasn’t a binge drinker by any means, but she drank more than usual that night to celebrate her victory. She went up to Emerson’s room just as she did every time she visited the frat house, but unlike every other night, she kissed him. Kissing led to something a little further that she consented to, but when she said she didn’t want to have sex and wanted to take things slow if they were going to go from best friends to something more, he took that choice away from her. The alcohol she had consumed earlier had left her in an in between stage where she was lucid enough to know what was going on but too drunk to fight him off of her. To make matters worse for her, he held her afterward and suggested she stay the night because, as he said, ‘you never know what kind of maniacs are out there in the middle of the night.’

...but she didn’t stay. She figured whoever was out there probably wasn’t as bad as who was in that frat house. Not knowing what else to do when she got home, she immediately got in the shower to wash off his scent and anything else of his that was left on her. She saw the bruises on her body from when he held her down and, for the first time, it felt real for her. It wasn’t a bad dream or some drunken hallucination. Her rapist wasn’t the boogeyman hiding in the shadows; he was one of the people she loved most in the world.

Kyle had beat him within an inch of his life once he found out what had happened and it was another thing that both families swept under the rug to protect their image. It’ll all go away during summer break, Serena told herself. I’m going to come back here and I’m going to be president of Phi Delt and be who I used to be－who I still am; however, a positive pregnancy test that summer made her come to the realization that her life would never be the same. Her parents and her friends all told her to ‘get rid of that thing’ and she had every intention of getting an abortion until she felt her baby kick. She knew her life would never be the same and she also knew it probably wasn’t the right approach to take, but Serena wanted to right the wrongs of her own mother and she felt as if this baby would give her that opportunity.

“Mommy,” she heard her now twelve-year-old daughter sobbing in the doorway of her bedroom that night, bringing her out of her thought process.

Serena lifted up her comforter and patted the bed with her hand so her daughter could join her. “Come here, Ollie.”

Once she lied down, she felt Olivia cling to her tighter than ever before. “Mom, I heard something you told Uncle Kyle and I wanna know if it’s true or maybe you’re gonna lie to me again. I don’t know. If you want, I can leave. We can call social services tomorrow and－”

“Ollie,” Serena interrupted, completely taken aback. “Ollie, what are you talking about? I never want you to leave me.” One of Serena’s worst nightmares had just come true. She was going to have to tell her and she had no idea how.

“I know you were raped,” Olivia blurted out. “I know you never wanted me and my dad was some monster who hurt you. Do I remind you of him? Why did you even keep me? No mom would want a daughter like me. I learned that in some places abortion is only legal if the pregnancy is because of rape. It’s okay everywhere to abort babies like me. I’m one of those kids that’s...less than. I’m the kind that it’s okay to get rid of.”

Serena wiped her daughter’s tears away and held her close. She still had the slightest hint of the cologne that she wore whenever she wanted to impress Alex, but the LEGO movie PJ shirt and PJ pants she was wearing made Serena feel like she was still her little girl despite how much she was growing up. “Ollie…” she hesitated to give herself more time to think. “Every woman has the right to choose what she does with her own body and I would never judge another woman for the choices she’s made regarding abortion just as I’d like to think no other woman would judge me. With that being said, I had every option in the world available to me and out of all those options, I knew the best choice for me was to keep you and I’ve never regretted that.”

“Do you promise?”

“Hold up your pinky,” Serena told her. Olivia held up her pinky next to Serena’s. They were both wearing heart-shaped pinky rings that Serena had bought a year earlier. “Remember what I said when I got us these matching rings that time we went on our mother/daughter adventure? I pinky promise to always love you and always be there for you. No matter what happens in life or how far away you may go for college or for your career, I’ll always be in your heart and you’ll always be in mine. I know things weren’t easy for us at first and I couldn’t be there for you as much as I wanted to when you were little and I might have made a few mistakes, but there was not a single moment in your entire life that I didn’t love you.”

“I don’t remind you of him when you look at me?”

“No, Ollie, nothing about you reminds me of him. Yes, that had crossed my mind when I was pregnant, but that never happened once you were born,” Serena promised her. “You don’t even look anything like him. You look like your uncle Kyle but never tell him that because you’re beautiful and I don’t want him thinking he’s attractive and getting all arrogant about it.”

“Mom,” Olivia laughed. 

Olivia’s laughter was and always would be Serena’s favorite sound. Her daughter had been conceived in a violent act, but everything about her was so innocent. The twelve years since she had given birth to her had been the best years of her life. Twelve years of cuddles, laughter, and being able to love someone so unconditionally. She’d do anything for Olivia and she had already done more than her daughter would ever know. There were custody battles between her and Emerson when Olivia was a baby and he was still trying to fight Serena for the chance to be a part of Olivia’s life. It all happened out of court now that he had a wife and kids, but she and Kyle and the rest of the Benson family were going to do all they could to keep him away from Olivia.

“Ollie, I want you to listen to me, okay?”

“Okay,” Olivia nodded.

“You are, have been, and forever will be the best thing that has ever happened to me. He was there when you were conceived but he didn’t create you. It was my body that created you for nine months, not his. You are nothing like him, Ollie. You are the sweetest girl and being your mom has been the greatest experience and greatest honor of my entire life.”

“Mom?”

“Yes, Olliegator?”

“I don’t think you made any mistakes. I think you’re the best mom in the world. My friends think so, too. Everyone says you’re the cool mom.” Olivia gave her a kiss on the cheek. “And, Mom?”

“Yes, Ollie Koalie?” Serena playfully tapped her daughter’s nose.

“Why do you sleep in Jamie’s shirt instead of the pretty pajamas you used to wear?”

It was yet another question that Serena wasn’t prepared for. “Jamie is my girlfriend now and she and I love each other very much and sometimes, when we aren’t together, I really miss her. If I sleep in her shirt, it’s like she’s here with me.”

“I miss Alex sometimes, too,” Olivia responded. “Do you think she’d like it if I gave her a shirt to wear when she misses me?”

“I think she’d like that very much,” Serena told her even if she wasn’t ready for her little girl to be that serious about her girlfriend. “I have an idea. What about if you and I have a sleepover night?”

“Sleepover night!” Olivia said excitedly. “I’ll make the popcorn and pick a movie for us to watch. Can we watch another scary movie?”

“Anything you want,” Serena smiled at her.

Sleepover night was Olivia’s favorite mother/daughter tradition and, even if she was tired, Serena was willing to do whatever she could to make her daughter feel loved. 

When her college-aged self imagined life in her thirties, she imagined she’d be a famous writer living in London or Paris and she’d spend all of her free time travelling the world and treating life like some grand adventure. Motherhood had never even crossed her mind because she felt it would only slow her down. Serena Benson was now just a couple of weeks shy of her 34th birthday and, although her life had turned out nothing like she had planned, the twelve-year-old girl eating handfuls of popcorn on the couch next to her－her daughter, her everything－was the reason why it had turned out better than she could ever imagine.

[babybamf]

Meeting Rogue at the X-mansion and going with her when she goes to get the cure would include~

(Not my gif)(Requested by anonymous)

(This might not be completely movie accurate but I wrote it so that it all sorta makes sense and fits nicely)

- Picture this: you’re an innocent young girl from Mississippi having your first kiss with your boyfriend. When all of a sudden, his lips stop moving against yours and he falls limply away from you, struggling to breathe. Now you’re thrust into a life of not being allowed to touch anyone in fear of killing; or at the very least hurting, them.

- So yeah, Rogue isn’t doing too well when she arrives at the X-mansion with Logan. She’s an outcast; even in a school of mutants. No matter how understanding or kind everyone around her seems/attempts to be, she still can’t get close to anyone, not unless she wants to accidentally put them in a coma.

- Enter you: young, dumb, and mutant. Everyone at the school knew how it felt to be the freak of your family; or town, of course, some more than others but still.

- You weren’t the most outgoing person in the mansion but when you saw a fellow mutant struggling to feel comfortable in the school; and their own skin, you couldn’t help but introduce yourself and try to make them feel more welcome/accepted.

- So you moved to sit beside her in class, saying a polite hello, and giving her your name and a formal welcome. She gave you a small smile and quietly told you her name.

- The small panicked look on her face when you offered your hand for a handshake told you everything you had to know about her powers.

“One of those mutations, huh?” Her heart skipped a beat when you merely smiled and nodded in understanding, no fear or judgement on your face.

-  And thus began your relationship. At first you were friends, someone who knew what the other was going through and could sympathize. Then came the subtle development of real, romantic feelings that could not be denied.

- Now Rogue comes from the South so anything that isn’t heterosexual is sort of forbidden and taboo. She isn’t used to those type of feelings and certainly isn’t used to confessing that she’s feeling them, no matter how innocently Sapphic they are.

- She contemplates not saying anything at all. She doesn't want to ruin the only strong friendship she has nor does she want to be even more of a “freak” than she already is.

- You’ll most likely have to make the first move or you’ll mutually sort of just admit that there’s something more than friendship and platonic fuzzy feelings between the two of you.

- If you’re the one confessing then she’ll shyly return the sentiment, happily agreeing to have lunch together in the gardens of the school. If you’re mutually confessing then you’ll also sorta be the one to confess first but in a subtle way.

- For example, she’ll say everyone thinks she’s a freak and you’ll say that you don’t and that even if she was you’d prefer her freak self over anyone else. Then she’d say that she prefers your freak self over anyone else too, and there’d be a mutual understanding as to what the two of you mean.

- And so, the two of you become a couple.

- Things are perfect at first. Sure, they’re a little tricky and awkward but you get the hang of it. The only problem is that as much as Rogue is enjoying herself, she can’t deny that she still feels like a freak and that you deserve better; more than what she can give you.

- She’s jealous of all the people who can touch you and get so much closer than she can. Strategic hugs and hand holding with gloves can only go so far, soon enough you’ll become unsatisfied, and then what?

- So she ponders the subject, becoming distracted and a bit withdrawn until she hears about the answer to her prayers. The cure.

- One little shot and she can be normal again. Have a normal, loving relationship with you, one where she can kiss and hold you as much as she wants without fear of putting you in a coma. It was like a dream come true.

- So after a little bit of debating, she tells you her plans.

- You understood why she wanted to do it, you really did. You couldn't imagine having her abilities and having to live in constant fear and no contact rules. But you still felt wary of her going.

- What if she regretted it? Sure, she had an extremely difficult mutation and you knew it was hard for her but once you took the cure there was no going back.  Your abilities would be gone forever and you’d be completely normal; and vulnerable.

- Still, you couldn't stop her. If it was really what she wanted, you'd just have to accept that, and you were going to be there for her no matter what.

- You warn her that if she's doing it for you, she doesn't have to. That you don't mind, that you can handle it; deal with short touches and fully clothed hugs. She doesn't respond for a long moment before telling you that it isn't just you, that she does want it, and that she wants to be normal …for herself.

- And so, the two of you do it. You accompany her and stand by her side as she gets the shot administered. All is quiet, your heart pounding and your stomach in knots as she tenses slightly at the feeling of the needles prick before it’s pulled out of her skin.

- After a few moments, she strips off her gloves and tentatively reaches out to touch you. Two warm fingers land on the back of your hand before she slowly grabs it, the two of you sitting like that for a long moment before tears begin to fill her eyes. And for a second you think that you've allowed your girlfriend to ruin her life before she smiles.

- It’s a beautiful, radiant smile, one that can only be made if you're truly, truly happy. And and she is, laughing with a repressed sob as she lunges forward and latches onto you, hugging you tightly and without fear for the first time in quite literally forever.

- The two of you walk out together, holding hands and as happy as can be though you're still a bit nervous and iffy on whether you did the right thing. Regardless, you turn to her with a smile, one that she returns though hers never her face.

- It begins to drop slowly but only because she’s begun to lean in, hesitantly and slowly making her way closer and closer until your lips finally meet and you kiss for the first time.