#Lmao i was so retarded and dirty-minded back then

[lyrazehedgieboiii]

Wedding Disaster!

Another crappy story I made long ago. Original is on Wattpad under Lyra_ze_hedgie. Both part 1 and part 2 is on this.

 ALSO HAPPY BIRTHDAY SONIC!!!!!!!!!!!!

Amy= 19 years old

Sonic= 21 years old

Lyra 18 1/2 years old

Blaze= 19 years old

Cream= 18 years old

Rouge= 19 years old

Maria= 19 years old

Silver= 21 years old

Knuckles= 21 1/2 years old

Shadow= 22 years old

Tails= 20 years old

It was 7 in the morning, and the Sonic Team girls were wide awake. As you can see in your brain, the girls are at Amy's house, sneaking through the door. They were about to wake up Amy and get her ready.

Cream, Amy's self proclaimed little sister, did the honors of waking the sleeping beauty. "Amy, wake up! You got to get ready for the happiest day of your life!" Cream squealed with excitement.

"I'm gonna give birth..?" Amy said dozily. She was 1/2 asleep, if you were wondering. Rouge and Maria were holding their chests from trying not to snort and laugh.

"Out of the way everyone! This is sure to wake Rosy Posy up!" Lyra yelled as she carried a 3 gallon full bucket into Amy's bedroom. She sprinkled a few drops onto Amelia's face. She still isn't up. She spills a little on to her face. Amy got up immediately.

"I'm up, let's get ready! Lyra water the plants with that, and make me look like a goddess, girls!" Lyra opened Amy's window and dumped the water close enough to the plants. The girls all dragged Amy to Rouge's mansion because her wedding dress was there. They had her take a shower, and while Amy was doing that, the girls took all the make-up out.

"This is going to be amazing! Sonic and Amy getting married! Amy will be my sister-in-law! Girls, she has to look perfect!" Lyra said. Lyra is Sonic's little sister.

"Amy, are you done yet?" Maria asked from outside the bathroom door.

"Yes!" A muffled voice answered from the other side of the door.

The girls all shoved Amy into a chair in front of Lyra's vanity table, and began to look at Amy and thought of what to do.

"Oh shoot! I forgot the curling iron! My 20 others are broken." Rouge realized.

"It's alright, Rouge. Besides, I have fire powers, so watch what I can do. Oh wait, first dry Amy's hair." Cream quickly did that with the blow dryer. Blaze wrapped sections of Amy's quills around her finger and warmed it up. She let go, and made luscious curls. "There, perfect. Amy, you look like an angel."

"She'll look more like an angel once she wears her wedding dress!" Lyra said, while bringing in the wedding dress. (It was a long white gown with red petals all over the bottom hem and along the chest.           

"Oh Lyra, it's beautiful." Amy said with tears in her eyes.

"Don't cry, Amy, or else you'll ruin your makeup!" Cream yelled.

"Okay, okay!"

Amy put on her dress, and it fit perfectly on her. It made her look like a princess. While admiring her wedding dress, Rouge and Lyra put some eyeliner and some blush on.

"Perfect! Now let's go, or we'll be 5 minutes late to being early." Lyra said.

"You sound like Spongebob, Hun." Rouge stated.

"Point is, we should be out now!" Blaze said, in an impatient tone. "I want to see some SonAmy smooching!" Amy blushed in embarrassment.

"Amelia! Now I can't tell if you're blushing, or if that's your blush making you look pink on the muzzle!" Cream said. Everyone laughed.

As the girls went out, something totally unexpected happened...

Hey, it's chapter 2. (Cream's POV)

Oh no. Eggbots. They're going to ruin Amy's wedding day, and her dress! Everyone immediately gets into battle stance, and takes out their weapons, or show their powers. Me? I stayed in front of Amy to guard her. Lyra, who's still learning to use her scythe, has formed a somewhat big shield around Amy and the girls. I was scared, was Amy going to be kidnapped by Eggman? That bastard! He's in his 70's or something, and he's still trying to kill Sonic! Then, Lyra moved a little, she could only protect me and Amy. The girls started to fight the crab-bots, and bee bots, whatever they're called. I heard some short battle cries. "Cream! Run Amy over to the limo!!!" Maria yells.

"Okay!" I take the hem at the back of Amy's dress, and raise it up, so it doesn't get dirty. I didn't really care about my dress getting messed up, it's Amy's that mattered. We suddenly see all the girls get thrown back. Oh, no... Amy hates when any of her friends get attacked, so in a snap, her piko-piko hammer comes out of nowhere, and Amy makes pissed off look at the robots. I don't want to interfere, but this is her wedding, I don't want her beautiful image get ruined! "Amy! Don't! You'll ruin your dress!" I shouted, but she ignored me. 

Oh no. 

It's the hammer of doom! Amy's hammer evolved and she was swearing like there was no tomorrow. Hey, I'd be doing the same thing if it were my wedding. Amy suddenly smashed all the bots, and strutted her way to the limo, all the girls watching her with shocked faces. She didn't even ruin anything! We all ran to the car, me going first. Not to brag, but I'm the maid of honor!!! Everyone expected Rouge, but I was chosen. I'm the most like her sister! Suddenly, Maria kicked the driver out of his seat.

"We are supposed to be at the altar by now!" Maria stepped on the peddle, not caring whether she got a ticket or not. Within minutes we were here. Lyra checked to see if everyone was there, and they were. First the ring bearer, and flower girl, which were Sonia's kids, Cecilia and Carlos. Then came in Amy, arm in arm with Shadow, since Amy had no father figure in her life. Behind her was the maid of honor. Which happens to be me. Then, came in Rouge, Sonia, Blaze, and Maria. Lyra was going to be the person that recited the vow things. On the side were Sonic's groomsmen, Shadow, Silver, Knuckles, and Manic. The best man was my boyfriend, Tails. We lined up beside Amy, and watched everything.

"How come the girls look like they were ambushed?" Tails asked.

"Amy looks like an angel."

"And in a few minutes she'll be my sister in law!"

"Dearly beloved. We are gathered here today on this momentous occasion, to witness the joining together of Sonic Ogilvie Maurice the Hedgehog, and Amelia Lynn Merica Rosette. Now, before we begin, is there anyone who rejects this proposal?" We looked around. "Thank Chaos, no one. Sonic, do you take Amelia to be your wife, through life and sickness, and til death do you part?" Lyra looked at Sonic, who was smiling, a few tears falling down his face.

"I do." Sonic responded. Amy was crying heavily, and so was I, it was beautiful!

"And Amy, do you take Sonic to be your lawfully wedded husband, to protect you, to love you, through life and sickness, and til death do you part?" Lyra looked in Amy's direction.

"I do."

"A good marriage is created. The little things in your life will become the big things. You will never be too old to hold hands, never be too old to say good night or for a gentle kiss.

A good marriage is remembering to say "I love you" on a regular basis. It is never going to sleep angry. It is standing together, on each other’s strength and support.

It is having the capacity to forgive and forget. It is providing an atmosphere in which each of you can grow.

It is finding room for the fruits of the spirit; which are love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self control.

It is not only marrying the right partner, it is being the right partner.

You will have this kind of marriage if you continue to Chaos as the source of your romance, love, and affection. Now, say your vows." Sonic started first.

"Ames," everyone 'aww's when he said 'Ames.' "When I first saved you from Metal Sonic, I was surprised to see someone as brave and courageous as you. You were as cute as a button, but fierce with that hammer, and I wouldn't marry anyone else. You are the only thing that keeps me happy. You were the only person I noticed, the only person who could turn me on. You were different from those other fan-girls. You were always by my side, even if I lost a battle, you still loved me, even if I was a werehog!" He chuckled. "And since I met you, every time you talked to me, my heart beat in my chest, and only you made me feel like that. I love you Ames." Amy was crying heavily. She sobbed, and gave him a quick hug, before beginning. (Lmao so uncharacteristic)

"Sonikku, before we met, I had a thing for tarot cards, it would say we will meet, it would say you are my perfect soulmate. I believed all of that, in fact, it's one of the things that got us together. And when I got kidnapped by Metal Sonic unexpectedly, you saved me. You were exactly everything I imagined. You were brave, courageous, loyal, smart, strong, loving, and experienced, if you know what I mean." Insert a dirty smirk and wink amen. "You're also very confident, and knew when pride got in your way. I wanted to always be beside you, to love you, to make you happy, to stay with you for all eternity. And now you made my dreams come true. And you have my near all to yourself, until our futures children are born. I love Sonikku."

"With the power bestowed upon Chaos, I pronounce you Husband and Wife. You may kiss the bride." Lyra said. Sonic picked Amy up and spun her around before kissing her gently. She kissed him back, hands never leaving each other.

"Hey, Sonic?"

"Yeah?"

"I caught you."

AND THEY LIVED HAPPILY EVER AFTER. DE END.

[greatcheesiness]

Hope: MSBY

Synopsis: In which a shooting star decided to make their prayers come true…

Characters: Atsumu/Sakusa/Hinata/Bokuto/Child! Y/n (little cameo) They’re all the same age except Y/n.

Genre: Angst, hopeful, Sad, a bit haunting at the end idk how that happened, mysterious, fate

W.c: 2k9

Moral of the story: Don’t think like this kids. Life is very valuable tsk.

[a/n] pfft I’m back y’all. Y’all missed me? Lmao no one asked. I have arrived with another short piece to satisfy your masochistic selves. I had no Wi-Fi and I thought I wasn’t gonna live a normal life. I was also a lazy bean who promised to work out but ended up eating Danish bread. They’re really good ngl. I did not proofread this so I am sorry for the errors. Sleep deprived again. I didn’t proofread this, sorry.

edit: this is a repost. I don’t think this was sent properly.

Little sparks emerged from the blazing mixture of red and orange. The colour of fiery and passion. But in the middle, there was a vibrant colour of yellow. Even if a person is angry and the things they do will not go as passionate, there’s always a little bit of hope. That was what Sakusa interpreted as he observed the fire. The ashy smoke floated upward into the sky and turned invisible where they will not be seen again. That is what they want, right? Just to die out...

“I’m going to find some more wood,” Bokuto said out of the blue and stood up from the barky log he just sat on. Hinata got a fright that he almost fell off of his side of the log. Bokuto then ran towards the darkened woods. Hinata’s eyes widened. He scuttled backwards and jogged into the woods, just to make sure he doesn’t wander off. Just to make sure he’s safe.

“Kotaro, wait up!” he shouted and the woods mimicked his voice of worry. It was a cold night. A blanket of navy covered the sky with a sprinkle of shimmering stars.

“I hope they don’t get lost. I heard that this is the largest forest in our area or perhaps the whole country,” the blonde head muttered. His fingers fiddling on to silver key necklace dearest to his heart. It was a gift given by his grandma just the day before her decease. That day felt like the day he lost a true friend. Sakusa stared into the sky. To become one of those shiny sequences high up the vast navy.

Small, slender, slim sticks were thrown into the fire by Atsumu. His eyes granted no mercy as he stared at them burning in the little hell he created. Sakusa could see the reflection of the fire in his chocolate eyes. Knowing the reason, he sighed. It conveyed his feelings. His pent up fury.

The long silence was interrupted by a trivial question. “Have you ever thought of what you want to become as you grow older?” Atsumu wondered. He had never really heard or knew much about Sakusa despite having each other’s presence in existence for a while. He blinked, his long lashes brushed through the air. “I don’t know,” he simply replied. His voice so curt that Atsumu’s feelings were hurt. He clutched his heart with a pain expression to emphasise the dramatic. “Omi kun, y’know that’s not the answer I want,” he whined at him. There he goes again, Sakusa thought.  

Atsumu hummed as he looked at the fire “Y’know.., it has always been my dream to become an astronaut. What do ya think Omi kun?” Sakusa scrunched his face at the thought. “What should I think??” The only responsive thought he had for that confession was that it was unbelievable to be true. He thought he wanted to become a volleyball player and join the national team. Maybe get the hot girlfriend of his dreams while he’s at it. But an astronaut? Does he even have the grad-?

“Haha if only I had the grades. I can see it right through you Omi kun,” he smirked as he pointed the stick at him held by his fingers. “To bad I’m not a smartass like my twin brother. Such a nerd without glasses,” he murmured at the mentions of his twin.

“Achieving high grades doesn’t make you a stereotypical ne-“

“I said what I said, Omi kun. I said what I said”

Sakusa stayed quiet after that. He had nothing else to add after that mild conversation. His eyes lingered at the book lying on the grassy ground. Atsumu’s five year old diary. To this day, he still remembered the contents inked in those pages. Hinata and Bokuto saw them as well. He pitied Atsumu, but dared not to speak a word of it. In that diary, Atsumu undergone what you call affliction. Even now, it still disturbed them.

Beside them, they set up a telescope that they had recently bought. They got it after dodging that expensive price. Bokuto’s bargaining skills were useful. The trees waved side to side with the gusting wind. Sakusa’s dark curls wavered. They’ve always wanted to see the stars together. Earlier this day, they heard from the news that there was going to be a shooting star passing earth. It was very exciting as no one would ever expect to see something like this in their time of life.

There was a lot of things around their temporary property. Tents set up, sleeping bags, coats, stocks of food and drinks, you name it. They fully decided that they would never ever come back home. All of them hated where they came from. It just wasn’t for them.

At around five or six in the evening, the four of them were in school cleaning up toilets and classrooms. This was Sakusa’s nightmare. His duty was in the boys’ toilet. All the grime, stench, dirtiness tainted each cubicle he entered. He felt like regurgitating, but if he was going to faint, at least faint outside the bathroom. Nonetheless, he pushed through this hell and managed it somehow.

Suddenly, a burning smell wavered through the air and entered his nostrils, sending him to alarm. He rushed out of the boys’ bathrooms. His eye’s enlarged at the sight of flames eating the corridors. His mouth gaped as he stood petrified. What in the world?

Someone grabbed his wrist and pulled him away from danger. Sakusa turned around to see it was Bokuto. His heart was racing as he tried to process what the fuck just occurred. “Kotaro, what on earth is going on?!” He didn’t answer for a while until they’ve reached outside the burning school.

“It was Atsumu’s doing. He threw a cigarette in the bin and the bin caught on fire!” Bokuto used his arms to demonstrate the fire. Sakusa glared at Atsumu and grabbed him by the collar. “I know you hate this fucking place, but did you have to fucking burn down the school!?” Atsumu shoved him away from him. “So what if I fucking did?!” Sakusa’s eyes were filled with anger. Who goes to this extent from hatred? Especially from a teenager.

“You… YOU BASTARD!” he cursed at his selfishness. A punch swung onto Atsumu’s face and he fell to the ground in an instant. The blond head swiped the blood off his busted lips and gave him a deadly glare. Oh if looks could kill…He collided into Sakusa causing him to cough out his saliva. Therefore, a dog fight transpired between them. Sakusa had no care for the dirt sticking on to him as his only goal was to knock some god damn sense into Atsumu’s brain.

Hinata panicked and attempts to pull Atsumu away while Bokuto did the same for Sakusa. “Look we tried to extinguish it with a fire extinguisher! But it…it just wouldn’t work at all!” Hinata explained while he still held onto Atsumu. Sakusa’s brows furrowed. “Then what the fuck did you do then?” All three of them looked at each other. “We ditched it,” Bokuto shrugged his shoulders “It would go out”

Sakusa groaned in his clammy palms. Oh my fucking god…Since this happened, what’s gonna happen to them? Will they all get in to trouble? Obviously. Should they just mention that it was Atsumu’s fault and he shall bear the consequence? Or should all of them step out and stay along with the blond retard? Everyone remained quiet. Sirens were heard and police cars and fire brigade were approaching their way.

“Do you just want to go home and pack our stuffs secretly? We can buy that telescope we all wanted and watch the shooting star that’s coming tonight….”

And that’s how they ended up here, in the meadow deep into the woods where no one will find them. If they decided to give up on them, just like how the others would. Sakusa admitted that it was a beautiful scenery. Atsumu and he didn’t fight anymore. What’s done has been done. Everything happens for a reason.

Hinata and Bokuto arrived with more sticks cradled in their arms. They were dropped onto the beryl green grass. After that, Hinata plopped down and his chest heaving up and down “Oi no more. I’m tired from running around,” he waved his hand at him without looking at Bokuto. The owl-like man plastered a huge grin on his face “You lack strength, Chibi chan. C’mon toughen up those muscles,” Bokuto wacked his shoulders that sent Chibi forward. They laughed. Only the corner of Sakusa’s lips curved.

Boys in pain come together to diminish those pains.

A spark occurred in the middle of the dark sky. Hinata noticed this first and mirthfully swore “Guys I see it!” All of them ran to the telescope, even having little arguments of who should go first. It ended up being Atsumu. The rest of them quietened down and all they could do was admire. It was absolutely spectacular without a doubt. Not only was one shooting star but there a shower of them. A celebration perhaps?

“There’s so many of them! We should make a wish,” Hinata encouraged. All of them clasped their hands together with their eyes closed. Sakusa joined and he wished that he would have a happy life. That was all he wanted.  

“Atsumu…”

“……”

“Atsumu… is that other shooting star approaching us or am I losing my mind?” Hinata asked worriedly. His knees shook like jelly. “Atsumu...” His body quivered with uncontrollable nervousness. Atsumu didn’t say anything back but gulped. “Well aren’t you going to answer us?” Bokuto asked with a lump in his throat.

Sakusa gazed up, following the track of the star before it split into two after crashing a certain part of the atmosphere. He knew. Everyone knew, that it was bound to reach them any minute.

“Will be able to get out of here in time?” Bokuto asked fretfully, brushing his hands through his grey strands. It wouldn’t be called a shooting star anymore. It was meteorite. The little thing drew closer and closer each time they blinked.

They just knew they wouldn’t make it out in time…

Atsumu sighed. “I’m staying here. I have nothing in this world to live for,” he gazed up and muttered as salty essence well up his chocolate eyes. He said it quietly, yet it was enough to be understood. He walked around a log and sat down with his head hung low. It was getting closer. Hinata swiftly sat beside him with his arms wrapped around him. His eyes closed “I’m staying with you. Staying with you until the end. Who knows we might end up somewhere beautiful. A magical land called Us”

When he said those words, a tear rolled down from Sakusa’s glistening ebony orbs. All of them wanted that. For a long time. A magical land called Us. This world gave them so much pain to the point that they had to imagine a wonderful world.

Bokuto, who used to use happiness to shield his sadness, embraced the both of them. The three of them cuddled. Some sniffles and sobs were heard from their trembling lips. Sakusa patted the left side of his chest. He was breathing quite heavily. This was most emotion he had ever displayed.  All of them turned their heads to face him. Atsumu’s arm stretched out. He smiled wearily “Come with us”

A lot of thought rushed through his mind. His head went racing. Was this the right choice? Was this what he wanted? What he if he still want to liv-

Before he could move a muscle, a bright, yellowish light flared behind them. His eyes reflected the light. Everything happened so fast and after that, they…. vanished. Long forgotten in this world.

 -

 “A lot of things have happened during this week. Firstly, the “shooting star” also known as a meteorite, crashed in the meadow of (xxx) wood, the largest in this country. No one has expected this phenomenon to split into two and destroy so much nature. Even almost damaging some parts of nearby towns. Another talked about topic, is the burned down school at (xxx) province with four boys that attended that school, missing…”

 The little girl watched the enormous meteorite from afar. “Wah it’s huge,” she said as she dangled her tiny little legs. An ice cream was in her hands as she watched the workers inspecting the rock. Maybe they could extract minerals and become filthy rich. She took a lick of the ice cream. The wind was howling that evening. She enjoyed a vanilla ice cream during cold season.

“Y/n, come here!”

Her mother yelled. Y/n shouldn’t be out in the open. It was too dangerous, who knows what will happen. Y/n stood up from the edge of a cliff and admired the amber sky before realizing her ice cream dropped to the ground. Her mouth gaped in disbelief. She paid for that using her own money by collecting reusable garbage for hours. She exhaled and tossed the cone away.

“Y/n!”

“I’m coming mom. I’m coming,” she called back. She dusted her hands off her skirt and jogged on. There was a valley close by so she needed to be cautious otherwise she might roll off the cliff and that wouldn’t be good. However, as she took another step, her foot slipped and her face fell flat on the ground. Blood dripped down from her nostrils. “Great…”

Luckily for her, she had an extra packet of tissue deep in her pocket. She took a tissue out and wiped the blood off that dried. All of a sudden, from the corner of her eyes, she caught something shining in the grass. Curiosity aroused her and she moved closer to the object. Mother told her that she shouldn’t take or even touch something that’s not hers. It could bring bad luck.

Y/n didn’t remember her mother’s words when she picked it up. It was a silver necklace that took the shape of a key. “Wow…” she mumbled. It had a simple design to it, yet to her it was the most beautiful thing she had seen that day. The wind blew even harder as the wind whistled.

“Y/n! If you don’t come this instant, I will leave you here,” her mother called out for what seemed like the last time. Y/n shoved the object into her pocket and rushed to her parent. She shuddered. How cold was it? She wrapped her arms around her and rubbed for heat.

“Y/n, what happened to your nose?”

“I just fell”

“That’s karma for not listening to me for the first time. I just fell”

“MOM”

 -

 So this was what the afterlife looked like? It looked the same as their world, yet maybe more magical. In this world, there was only the four of them and no one else. It had everything they needed. It was tranquilized. The trees consisted of wisteria. All of their stuff that they had with them before their very last breaths was placed exactly the same way, same place. However, the boys weren’t there.

A burning door stood in the middle of the meadow. All of them watched it, sitting down with bittersweet smiles on their faces. Was it worth it after all? Atsumu was the first one to hop off his position and run out into the wild. His appearance changed. He took the form of a little boy and had a book about stars in his hands. Ten years of age. The last time he felt a sense of happiness before all crashed down. Hinata turned back to a fifteen year old and Bokuto, a twelve year old. It made Sakusa feel old. He remained the same after all their transformations. A seventeen year old.

The last time he felt happy was just a few months ago. Despite that, he never really intended to die. It was just a last minute wish he made that he regretted. He believed to have many things to do on his bucket list. It was too late somehow and he thought that this new life wasn’t bad after all. He could maybe tick them all of in this afterlife.

From the corner of his eye, he spotted a necklace. His brows furrowed at it and he leaned forward to capture it. Now it laid on his palm and began his inspection. It was an open door with no handle… He gulped. What was the meaning of this? If he was being honest, Atsumu didn’t have his grandma’s necklace with him. He started connecting the dots.

The fire stopped burning the door. He looked up and moved backwards. It was dark and the atmosphere couldn’t be anymore spookier. He whimpered and started to shake.

A little girl clad in a ripped strawberry dress. Her shoes dirtied. Her skin pale as snow. Her hair in a dishevelled state and her eyes were the worst. They were fully pitch black. And before Sakusa knew it, he ran as fast as he could and…

…never turned back.

The shooting star, after all, just granted their wishes. Without them knowing the consequences…

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #410

“oh baby, baby, does she take a piece of lime for the drink that i’ma buy her, do you know just what she likes?

Do you put candy canes on your Christmas tree? Ye. Have you ever written/drawn/painted random stuff on your bedroom wall? No. What do you currently hear? A slowed w/ reverb version of "If U Seek Amy" by Britney Spears. Yes, I have a serious thing for these edits of childhood songs, ha ha. Actually, no shame, I still love Britney lmao. What's your favorite flavor of Doritos? Cool Ranch. Do you like bagels? Yep. Do you ever worry about what the world will be like when you have kids? I ain't having any of those, so I don't have to worry about that. Have you ever seen a hippo in person? At a zoo, yes. Are you any good at HTML? Noooo. When was the last time you did something you knew was wrong? Recently, because I'm awful about downloading things illegally. What was the last thing you downloaded on your computer? A picture. Do you ever cry just to get your way? Hi, I'm 25. I at least have SOME adult traits. Have you ever been to any professional sports games? Yes. What's the most boring sport to watch? The only sport I enjoy watching is dance, so. I think golf has to take the cake for the absolute worst, though. Do you like lip rings on the opposite sex? UGH I just love lip rings on anybody. Do you have good or bad vision? Literally awful. Have you ever parked in a handicapped spot when you weren't supposed to? Hell no. That is so fucking inconsiderate and lazy. Have you ever been to a different country? No. When was the last time you finger-painted? Nooo idea. Probably not since I was a little kid. Do you say car-mel or car-A-mel? "Care-uh-mel." When you get out of the shower, do you use one or two towels? One. Are you uncomfortable with changing clothes in front of others? Absolutely yes. Hell, I don't think I ever really changed in front of Jason back in the day, so that says something about how self-conscious I was with a FIT body. Never mind this catastrophe I own now. Which is worse: Runny nose or stuffy nose? Both suck, but stuffy drives me absolutely INSANE. Who's been the most influential person in your life? My mom. Do you have any tan lines? Ha, yeah, no. How many different schools have you gone to? Six. Do you know how to slow dance? I mean, yes? It's not complicated. Have you ever taken The Impossible Quiz? (If not, you should Google it. :D) No, and I'll never waste my time doing that shit. I've watched people play and beat it, but it seems like such frustrating, pointless madness with zero rhyme or reason behind it. Has someone that you liked told you that you are a waste of their time? No. Who is the last person you were in a car with? Mom. In the next 6 months, what are you looking forward to most? Ummmm Christmas, maybe? That's always exciting. Is there anyone who hates you? Probably. Who were you with the last time you went out for food? Mom. If your boyfriend or girlfriend smoked pot, would you care? Eh... I guess if it was for medicinal purposes, I would be okay with it. I'm not keen on dating a smoker of anything. Do you want to start over with anyone? Just Jason, at least sometimes. It'd be really, really nice if we could be friends again and just forget about who we were all those years ago, but I genuinely doubt my ability to be "just friends" with him. Even though I haven't spoken to this dude in over FOUR YEARS, and I'm sure he's changed a lot, just like I have. We might not even be compatible anymore. As much as I may want it, I think it's probably for the better we remain unassociated. Do you eat the crust of your sandwiches? It's what I eat first. Are you completely over your last relationship? Not "completely," no. I still love her, but I'm in a headspace of accepting that now is not the right time with unfit conditions. What hoodie did you wear last? My Pikachu one, which is the one I pretty much always wear. Do you listen to Incubus? Probably surprisingly, no. I don't know if I've even heard a song. Do you wear flip-flops during the winter? More like always. Do you like the smell of Axe? If you don't use an obnoxious amount, yeah. What do you think of feminists? Absolutely necessary as pilots for change. HOWEVER, I do believe some can take the concept waaaay too far. Who was the last person to smoke a cigarette in your presence? Dad, probably. When was the last time you ate a cupcake? Oh my god, GUYS. It was my niece's birthday last month, and she did the CUTEST shit. She used to be very, very opposed to getting even slightly dirty (I mean like a speck of dirt on her would make her cry), and this kid decided to just C H O M P into her cupcake and get the frosting ALL over her face. She had two and got so messy, and that angel was just laughing hysterically about it. That girl is such a damn gift. Safe to say she was bouncing off the walls that night. Did you hug one of your parents today? No. Do you tan in the nude? I don't tan, period. Have you ever put a lot of thought and effort into a gift for somebody, only for them to act like it didn’t really matter to them? Oh god, no. That would really, really hurt, because I genuinely do try to be very thoughtful with my gifts. Do you follow the ‘five second rule’ when you drop food on the ground? NOOOOOOO. It's just a bullshit myth. I am NOT eating food that's been on the floor for a millisecond. If you had to describe yourself using a colour, which colour would you be? Maybe like... navy blue? Kinda dark and somber, but also has a calmness to it. Have you ever had to use another person’s toothbrush before? What were the circumstances? I WOULD FUCKING NEVER. Omg that is so gross. Have you ever crashed a car? No. Do you have a garden? Does it have flowers, vegetables, or both? No. Where do you want to raise your kids? I don't want kids, but if I did, absolutely surrounded by nature and animals. Have you ever been to Cracker Barrel? Yeah, I love it there. Damn, now I want some, lol. Have you ever seen a ghost? I sure as fuck saw something. As soon as you find out you are pregnant, who will you first tell? Who says I'm ever going to BE pregnant? 'Cuz it sure isn't in my plans. But hypothetically, the dad. Have you ever won a game of Minesweeper? Like ever? I've never played it. Who is your best guy friend(s)? Girt. I really should chat with him soon, it's been too long. If you had a tiny scar on your face, would you get it removed or just keep it? I'd keep it. Make me look more badass. ᕦ(ò_óˇ)ᕤ What is your hair naturally like? Brown and kinda-sorta wavy. Have you ever stared at a stranger and they said something to you about it? No; I don't stare at people. Is your father very protective of you? I wouldn't say "very protective," no. What would you do if your hero died? ffffffUCK THIS QUESTION HOW ABOUT NO HE'S NOT ALLOWED THAT'S VERY ILLEGAL Where was your first date at with your current lover? I don't have one currently. Are you friendly in the morning, or are you barely awake? Depends on how much sleep I got, but I'm generally in my best mood in the morning. Did your parents force you to go to church? Mom did. What made you pick up the last book you started reading? It was the next book in the series I'm reading, Wings of Fire. When was the last time you went somewhere for the first time? Hm. I dunno. Hypothetically and generally speaking, how would you go about breaking up with someone? Is there anything you would make sure to say, or perhaps not say? I mean it would really depend on WHY I was breaking up with them, but I guess in most situations I'd try to meet them face-to-face and explain why I wanted to cut things off. I think it'd be important for them to hear my tone of voice, and I think physically meeting somewhere would show that I care enough for them to cut time out of my day to see them and try to hurt them as least as possible, given the situation. What do you find particularly offensive? Would you say you’re easy or difficult to offend? DO NOT in even a minor way ridicule mental illness or belittle victims as "weak" or pull the "it's just in their head" bullshit. The misuse of the term "retard(ed)" also genuinely offends me. I wouldn't say I'm easy to offend, either. What was the last chore you completed? Changing my cat's litter. When was the last time someone saw you naked? It's been a loooong time, and it would've only been my mom when I was like, going into a shower or something. If you could bring someone back from the dead and spend an hour with them, who would it be and what would you do/say? Probably Steve Irwin. I'd go on and on about how his family has carried his legacy so brilliantly, and show him aaaaaall the public pictures of Bindi and Grace, especially. God, that man would be so proud of them all. What is the greatest lost you’ve endured? My first "real" boyfriend. How would you describe your current mood? A mix of tired and anxious. I don't feel like going to bed yet, and the storm we've got passing through has me nervous about tornadoes 'n shit. Do you ever drink or get high alone? I've had some light drinks alone. What is the “worst” drug you’ve done? Are there any you will never try, or any you want to try? I've never done any illicit drugs, and I don't want to. What is the most personal thing you’re willing to reveal? Probably that I've had a pilonidal cyst. It's awkward to explain, but I'll share it anyway if there's a good reason to/I'm asked or something. What made you stop talking to the last person you cut out of your life? Her just being the most toxic, drama-filled person with the biggest victim complex of any human I've ever met. Who was the last person to yell at you? Did you yell back? Mom, and my voice was raised. Where do you like to be kissed? This depends on how serious we are. Can go from just the cheek to a lot of places. Which season is your least favorite and why? Summer, because it's too goddamn hot and humid. Who, if anyone, do you compare yourself to most? Probably my little sister. She's on such a successful path, and then there's like... me lmao. Do you have a night-light in your bedroom? If so, what does it look like? No. What is your favorite breakfast food? How often do you get to eat it? Cinnamon rollssssss. I have 'em very rarely, though. I'll eat too many of them, which I definitely don't need. What is your favorite thing about autumn? What about your least favorite thing? AHHHHHH EVERYTHING. I love Halloween and the decorations that come with it, the changing leaves, the crisp air... just all of it. :') Who was the last person you asked for help? Mom, I'm sure.

[fallenangelloyalty]

One helluva orgasm

Well , dont kniw how great this is gonna sound.... but what that fuck, ain't one mother fucking ear gonna hear.... resavore dogs........... life goals.. . I have always daydreamed about, (only when I had a head full of rage and a body full of nothing)... standing in the corner, waiting for some to come scream with me..... mmmm, who did I steal those last two lines from.. or where... if you dont already know, I dont need to tell you.... are your curious at all????.... fuck it, the suspense is killing me.... mudvayne you fucking asshole , unmusically inclined,  self centered prick!!!!!... lmao... I always wanted to say that... fuck me Alex, talk about rambling thoughts..... fuck... it might sound bad. But I just have too much up there stored away behind doors that all have different key holes..... so you would think that if the key dont fit... dont go in there.... and I think , if the shoe fits, fucking wear it.... I wear a 7 by the way..... if you wanna buy me some shoes and call me out on some shit.... lol..    always hustling somehow... momma needs new shows and I'm broke as fuck.   .. funny thing is, fuck being with or without.  . I'm gonna survive either way..   and still be happy... most of the time.. as long as I dont go reenter the wrong door.... who needs keys, when you leave all the doors open. . I'm not afraid of who might go in there. I dont wanna leave anyone or any being, aka entity,  left locked in there. If you are in my mind, I gotta look out for ya.... i have done some shady shit in my life, but I'm come to realization that when i lay down at night, my conscience is bare..... damn, that line has been taken by zakk wilde.... he would be proud.... fuck what an i thinking. He dont hive a fuck either.... ... fuck me I feel like a retard genius sometimes... statistically the average genius is a housewife..... with a score of like 140 or something....  because a high IQ is fucking logic... common fucking sence.... street smarts basically.... and I got more of that than anyone I've meet with a college degree. ... fuck me Alex, so much wasting talent, I work at IHOP as a server, taking it up the ass everyday from "the man".... I could have been a fucking porn star, and or prostitute,  with very selected clientele,  and taking it up the pussy..   although I love to play with ass.... omg, I honestly hope no one finds this one and reads it

.... therebus only less than a handful of people that could read this and get it, other than that, I'd be locked up at rusk again... . . Damn, at least there I would get free room and board, free food, too be honest, alot of free entertainment... and last but definitely not least,  there would be plenty of listening ears that hear me as well...   ol. .. focus.... damn I'm in a tight spot (oh brother where are tho)... just in case it went over your head. Or wherever your neurotransmitters in up... I'm guessing In the hippo campus 

.. and that's not a school for hippos... I think it could be a place close to where all the dope smoking, free spirited hippies loss all there shit.... fuck me Alex. Talk about multitasking. I was  playing with ass and  masterbating earlier and feeling the music.... ok back to the top.... alot of times, during a body full of nothing and a head full of rage. I wanted to pita cigarette out in someone eye... someone who would deserve it by the way..  and say to them,  can you see  clearly now.... your welcome,  dont mention it.... just chalk it up to be

helping carma out... it's either a bitch or a blessing..  and the second thing I conjured up within this head full of bullshit,  is I would love to pull out my knife and cut your fucking ear off, which you wouldnt miss cuz its perfectly useless to you, and say can you hear me now, you fucking slut ass , whore ass, deaf bastard..... ok .. finally , back to my point... like I said I'm sure none of this is gonna matter anyways... fuck, to me it means everything.... say you had a piece of clothe,  maybe a 12 in by 12 in piece of material.... and that fucking shit mattered to you... It would matter to me too. . ......... (sidetrack). Do I wanna be on or off the rails of the crazy train. After scrolling al the way to the top of this psychotic piece, that flows from my mind and off my lips like cum I'm trying to spit out...or in this case flows from my mind and off my fingertips... hence, I'm typing you fucking unreceptive robot covered in dirty flesh ... *I'll tell you where else these finger tips have been tonight, if you could hear me.... but you cant, and I know that fir a fact, cuz if you are reading this and really trying to comprehend what the fuck I'm trying to say, unless you are a fucking trooper and have some fucking depth to the soul and really digging what the fuck I'm saying like we are kindred spirits and connected by something that is far from tangible ... you are having to read each sentence two or three times to feel it.. hell if you had to do that,  you ain't made it this far................................... should be safe enough now to say what the fuck I mean and mean what the fuck I say.... 

Fuck the poor pitiful me cop out... it's not about that.... it's about you, poor pitiful you... and by you I mean 98% of the people I communicate with... ok maybe 98. 2%... wait, I'm gonna put this on the table.. throw it out there for ya... open mouth insert foot.. biting off more than you can chew and walking around naked I. Your living  room... feel free.... jagged little pill... yes you..  and ne of course... he is my question,  and it's not one for you to answer,  cuz truth does not exist, but the lies do... perversion of the truth... misguided in misderection..... Chad gray.   Hiw the fuck , how in the hell can people be so two faced... how can someone or anyone fir that matter, be close to someone and not wanna even try to understand one another... answer,  people dont like what they dont understand... they fear the unknown.....  if they are not benefiting from it... gaining from it.. they dont give a fuck.... no concept of sacrificial love.... .... guestion...  and of course rhetorical again.... how can they say they love you.... they dont even fucking know you.... never tried... ....reality check.... do on to others as you wish them to do unto you.... common fucking courtesy of the human race... we are all connected in

[flameontheotherside]

The Steering Wheel

I've already explained how we all have a higher self. I call mine Vanessa because she told me that's what she wants to be called. Not my FIRST choice but 🤷🏼‍♀️ fine, bitch? Lmao 😂 I personally love bothering her. Yes higher selves can have personalities. Usually they are calm and all spirit-y but since I've gotten to know her being part of me, she's picking up MY habits while I'm also picking up hers. 🙄 Although challenging at times.

Learning never stops on the "other side". Your TRUE SELF or higher self is like the you that plays The Sims game. It's cute when Vanessa tries cursing because it just doesn't sound natural coming from her. She also tries the laid back chill don't-care attitude.... She couldn't even last a minute. When I get dirty or sweat (she calls it "melting") or un-womanly she absolutely HATES It. 😂 Since learning that part of me (that is HER) Who likes sappy music, flowers, Lifetime originals or sappy movies, and she lives pampering and girly shit.

I've learned to be open minded.

Would dare to say also I've come a very long way. Now mind you, ten years also for a short time I was channeling her without knowing it. Went through a phase where I'd paint my nails, wear tons of make-up, wear "cute" clothes and shit. I'm not sure what happened. Anyway this time around I've gone 😂👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼FULL RETARD and pretty much all out except I refuse to regularly cut my nails and paint them. Too much fucking work man. 😖 I don't have time for that.

I've learned and started a routine to help get my hair back in shape. This time I won't go dirty blond or whatever the fuck. Nope nope nope. Even though Iooked good. Nope. It just killed my hair. So I'm taking advice from YouTube and now I'm interested in seeing just how long I can get it to. 🤔 I usually keep it shoulder length because it was damaged and I just had to patience. The last trim I did was two months ago and I think it's grown back and the ends are looking better. 🤷🏼‍♀️ However, she hates when I dye my hair purple/burgundy and she will have to deal with it.

If I let Vanessa take the wheel, it wouldn't be good.

I don't think that's allowed? What we are supposed to do is just incorporate some of who we really are in to this life. It's all because we are after all human. We loose what makes us human if we try to be our ever so "perfect" higher selves. All our higher selves do is GUIDE us to be our BEST selves.... Unfortunately for me, lmfaoooooooo.... Vanessa is my best self. 😂👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼 It's hilarious because we are so opposite. It's like a balancing act. I have to compromise with her all the time.

She wants me to wear makeup? Fine, but the bear minimum. She wants me to wear a "dress"? Fine but I'll wear wedged heels and NOT STILLETOES! I Cannot tell you how awkward and horrible wearing high heels are for me. It's totally like Sandra Bullock's character from Miss Congeniality. Except I ain't in no fucking beauty contest. Funny her sidekick guy's name is Erik?!... And he would be that asshole to stick a carrot in my face while chewing a snickers. I can totally see that. 😂 Fucking dick bugs me when I shop for food. The lecture I get about diabetes in the family and blah blah blah.

Le fuck, le that! 🖕🏼😂🖕🏼

🤷🏼‍♀️... Yeah we are going to watch Miss Congeniality. Why not?

😘💞💕❤️ I love you all!

Check out my store where I offer readings starting as low as $5/per question with a response at least 1 paragraph!

Please visit: Twin Flame Medium

(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:・ﾟ✧Don’t forget to take a look at Erik’s blog ran by his amazing mom Dr Elisa Medhus. Lots of stuff about his afterlife and 💩 at channelingerik.com.

(◕‿◕)♡ Social: Twitter Tumblr Instagram YouTube Facebook

[solasulad]

The Cousin Josh.

I’m feeling all types of emotions with this one. And I know I really really fucked up but I’m hating my self asking for more. I don’t think I’m gonna ask. I’ll just let it be like always but until then imma cry myself to sleep once I get those itches.

So.. let’s start..

Abel called me Friday night saying happy birthday. Told him thanks and that we should chill, me him and josh + whatever girls I could gather. He said sure I was like ii. Completely forgot about it for a second until he called me Saturday after noon asking what was up with josh on the line I was like blessed! If worst comes to worst I can chill with these guys. Had plans with S. for dinner but she flopped on me, so took these guys on instead. Invited R, to come to the club so it was perfect!

After running back and forth from one end of the city to another, I finally get to the Airbnb and settle in. It’s about 8pm now and my sister was tryna come over but told her nah. More like yah come but ignored her.

Anyways. I get to the Airbnb and start to slowly figure my life out. R. says she finishes at 9 and will come over after getting dressed I’m like cool, tell the boys to meet for 10 at the Airbnb. Bomb, I have an hour before the guys are to come and I slowly/quickly get ready.

I’m doing my make up, r. Hits me up with she’s gonna be late so I’m like Okk cause the guys haven’t arrived yet.

It’s now 10 & I get a call from Abel saying he’s down stairs... I’m like wow... okay my faces done by still haven’t got dressed & not sure if I was gonna add more make up on. So they kinda just fucked that up.

I finish whatever makeup I can, I put my shoes on and get them from downstairs. They both give me hugs Abel gives me a kiss on the neck and picks me up. Josh gives me a hug that’s it. We head up stairs, they chill on the bed/couch while playing music as I get ready. I’m running back and forth from the bed to washroom cause it’s an open Airbnb aka loft. So I finally get my dress & underwear put it on and lotion myself up. I walk out the washroom and they say it looks good, Abel complimenting me heavy as fuck and well, josh saying it looks good. In that moment I never really payed josh any attention cause he wasn’t looking my way. I just left it as that cause abel was trying heavy.

Anyways, they both compliment my dress, my hair and make up. I felt like the shit. We wait for my friend to come  & head downstairs for a smoke. Took only one pull of the weed and felt it. They both drinking so they give me some & I kill it. They ask me what I’m tryna do I’m like get drunk drunk 😭.

We wait for R. Then send her an Uber to her, she comes at 11:30 ish & we head out to the club.

Abel started puking up in the car and I was like wow really. Grown ass niggah can’t handle himself. Smh

We get to the club I’m like wavy but not drunk R.’s chilling dancing, Josh orders is a drink and I’m like w/e I’m good with it. He gets us Jack Daniels & coke. I’m drinking that shit like it’s water sipping it fast.. then Abel gives me his. I’m like awh sheet gonna get fucked up 🙌🏾!

Finish his drink then start dancing not really doing much just moving my ass, lol there was a moment when after hoping rooms we found a chill vibe and I started shaking my ass twerking, the dress was so short so I had to stop. Abel kept amping me up that was dirty annoying 😩. We stuck with the guys and danced, before walking into the club R. Asks me about the guys & I tell her Joshs a cute but Abel’s cock blocking & that if she was down to go for him. She’s like she’s had her eyes on him & he is a cutie. I’m like “well damn” before even coming to the club I was laying down on the bed and showed Abel a pic of R said I was gonna hook josh and her up.

So now the club. When emotions kinda ran thru me. So we are now still in a room dancing. I’m enjoying myself and just dancing with the group kinda. Not really hugging up anyone just there dancing Abel tried to get me to turn around but I didn’t. Anyways, we dancing me looking towards Abel and Abel moving in squares like he’s retarded, I turn around to see if R. Was good and see her and josh kissing... I was like well damn now look at this. My mood was like “shit, but whatever Abel’s cock blocked me”

So, after a couple mins R comes to me and she’s like omg he’s so cute, im like yo go for it he’s a cutie!! Also I’m like yo Abel’s cock blocking’s me I need to meet some guys. She’s like we’re gonna ditch them and go out. Blessed right?? Yah well.. we tell them that we’re gonna use the washroom. As we’re leaving I’m like joshs 96 so be aware she’s like idc he’s hot, I tell her go for it! My geographic area of guys have big dicks anyways & she starts to laugh. We use the washroom, then decide to make are way around she wanted to finesse guys for drinks lmao. We end up walking out and some guy pulls on her. He looked like Israel we went to high school with. So she’s taking to this guy & I’m just standing there... I’m looking around his friends are looking at me but no ones approaching me. One big ass belly guy came to me asking me my name, I tell him then it’s quite. I’m like what’s yours? He tells me he’s called snack, so i make a joke saying cause he eats a lot! LMAO he didn’t find that funny, but then it’s quite, he gives me his henny bottle and I take a big ass shot not thinking that I’d get fucked up.. hes like eh. LOL...

So then it gets quite, this short guy was just looking at me, he then approaches me asks for my insta gram I give him my name he adds me. Not really making Convos with the guys cause they beat as fuck. I just stand there. I hesitated on leaving her but didn’t want to get lost, so then.. I turn around and see josh walking around, I approach him & he comes over, he sees R with a guy and we’re like let’s go back to the room?

We all are walking together then out of nowhere we lose R and the guy. Me and Josh can’t find her but then something happens. I think he complimented me on my dress cause he said I looked sexy or something.

(Bare with me, the remaining shit I’m about to say is based off of drunken memory)

So he says something and then leans in for a tight hug I guess cause I end up biting his neck then he starts kissing me. I’m trying to remember how it started but idk lol I was off it.

So we kissing and minding our own business when I ask where’s Abel? He’s like behind you? I turn around and see him, Josh says let’s go for a smoke, we go outside & leave Abel inside. Josh takes his jacket off puts it on me so smooth &  We get a smoke from someone & then continue the convo.

Not sure but I remember telling him that I found him attractive at first but Abel was into me, then telling him that I told him I just wanted to be friends. I think I also told him what he did that night I went over to his place and how I left early. He’s like Abel’s into you really idk man it’s rough.

So he’s smoking then puts the cig in my mouth while my hands are in his pockets. So smooth so   Fucking cute. We make out more outside until Abel comes, then not sure what happens but he ends up leaving us alone. And we’re both like fuck.

I guess I didn’t want him to see us like that and get hurt. So we kept it short afterwards.

The henny starts to kick in and I feel mad sick. Like nauseous out of nowhere. We walking back and met with abel inside, joshs still holding me tight cause my walking fucked up, I guess he felt me wanting to throw up and he he asks if I’m good, I shrug no and he asks if I wanna throw up I’m like yah, he rushes me to the washroom and I start puking. He entered the girls side and holding my hair back while I puke rubbing my back. I feel better so we go after I wash my mouth.

It’s time to go and get my coat from the front, we still don’t know where R is so we end up just going without her. Waiting in the line for my coat I feel sick again, and then josh rushes me back to the washroom as he’s holding me from the back I start puking up on his arm and then in the toilet, I finish wash my mouth and apologize he’s like it’s okay don’t worry. I’m saying sorry and that I’m such a light weight.

We go outside and get hotdogs from the front, waiting for it I drink water they give me and then slowly eat the hot dog, I couldn’t even eat it cause I was so drunk I started puking again. They call an Uber and it comes right away. Before getting into the car I puke a little more and then sit in the middle between them both. I close my eyes and just try to breathe as josh says.

We get to the Airbnb quick & im sobering up kinda. Lol nah not really but better than puking that’s for sure.

We get upstairs and laugh that r’s gone, I’m like idk she met some guy that’s all her. We get in and I’m freezing. I get comfy on the bed while abel and josh play some music. Josh starts playing some weeknd songs and I start obsessing singing while laying down. Abel comes in the bed tryna cuddle and I get out leave him in the bed alone lmao.

So I put my hoodie on but still feel cold so i change into jeans and a hoodie. I come back into the room abel walls in and I sit on the side of the bed.

I’m sitting on the bed Abel’s falling and sleep and joshs sitting on the couch. Josh says he’s gonna go for a smoke, looks at me and asks if I wanna come with I’m like yah.

We leave go outside and he’s smoking his spliff. We start talking about what happened in the club and I’m like my friend likes you tho, he’s like nah it’s not even like that I was just there cause she was. I’m like okay, the once again tryna remember what happened but we end up kissing while he’s smoking his spliff, he takes a pull and blows it into my mouth. We kiss more outside then once he’s done he’s like let’s go for a walk.

We start walking towards the area I parked at, and find a corner stairwell outside that leads into the parking. There’s a camera up there so nothing freaky happened but... he starts kissing me grabbing me up and I had to stop him cause I wasn’t tryna be on the internet for some thotty shit.

So we start walking back to the building and then I’m like fuck I wanna fuck you or something, and he says the same, I ask him imma need a dick pic and he’s like you wanna see it I’m like yes! He pulls it out right then and there. I’m shookth at the size and thickness like wth. I tell him I’m tight and that’s gonna hurt. So I’m horny now and we make our way back upstairs. I say I need your body on a bed but laugh that Abel’s knocked out on the bed.

We head to the pool room in the building and look around see only one camera there, we block ourselves from the camera and start making out more. He pulls his dick out and I’m like I’m not gonna suck it here but he begs, so I only give him a tease of it. I go down on him without knowing what I’m doing I deep throat it. I finish not making him cum but get back up and he starts kissing me.

We leave that room and head back up stairs making out in the elevator. We get into the apartment and Abel’s knocked out, I take my jacket off and turn around and see josh waving at me to come in the bathroom. We get in and start making out more he pulls my pants off and goes down on me I’m shook as fuck cause he’s actually eating it hard & I come from that!!! He finishes up pulls his dick and NO CONDOM and fucks me raw. I’m face down ass up on the toilet he’s going in I’m trying not to scream banging my head on the wall, I’m dry at this point because of the position and limited space, but we switch and he spits on me to lube me up.

I’m sitting down backwards to him riding him and then he comes pulling me off backing me away on the floor. I’m like wow. This mother fucker!

He finishes and is still hard as fuck! Like wtf mane pls. He goes in again after cleaning up and a couple mins later I tap out. - not sure actually, thinking he only did it once now -

But anyhoo, we finish up in the bathroom both weird cause of the situation with Abel & me with R.

He leave and I clean up myself. I come back into the bed area and lay down adjacent to abel.

It’s now 6am and I’m trying to sleep knowing I gotta check out at 11am.. smh In set the alarm and close my eyes.

Wake up from Abel around 9am pissed cause I only got 1 and a half hours of sleep. Smh we get my things and we check out.

Josh drives us back to Abel’s cause I’m still fucked from last night both mentally and pussy wise.

We get to his and we aren’t really saying much about what happened last night. We get some breakfast and head back to his place now it’s like 11am or so, still tiered.

We in Abel’s room just chilling and Abel steps out, I think I brought up what happened last night and the whole mood changes cause he starts looking at me all sexual and I’m doing the same. Abel comes back and we stop. We kept doing that pretty much the whole time abel would leave. He went to the washroom to get changed and then josh said something about how he wanted to kiss me rn, I lean over towards him and we start making out on the bed, I think we heard foot steps so he backed off of me, Abel came in the room and left again, and we go back at it.

After that Abel stays in and we chill listening to music.

Josh calls one of his boys over FaceTime talking. I say something and then his friend asks who’s that, he says it’s a friend. Joshs friend after a minute or so says give me the phone to her I show my face and he’s like “hey joshs my best friend don’t take him” I’m like uhm, you can have him I didn’t even want him smiling, look up joshs smirking. So I pass the phone over to josh and his friends like she gorgeous as fuck. They continue the talk and I over hear joshs friend say something about him and a girl. I’m listening but pretending not really, on my phone.

He’s like it is what it is, mans like I feel you you there she’s there, you have needs. So the. Josh says something kicking my leg I ignore it pretending not to listen. He switches up starts speaking in his language tryna throw me off and then puts headphones in. Whole time Abel’s just sitting on the bed while I’m laying down.

So they finish the convo and then it just vibes from there Abel’s playing Chris brown wet the bed and other sexual songs.

I tell him I’m about to go and josh asks if I can drop him off close by I’m like yah. Already knowing what we about to do why not?

I tell abel I’m gonna go he’s like nooooo pls just stay blah blah blah unattractive as fuck. I finally leave after an hour or so saying I was gonna go now it’s like 3pm. Give abel a hug and leave with josh.

We get in the car jump on the highway and head downtown again.

Car ride was quite, wasn’t really talking about what happened until maybe 10-15 mins in?

So I bring it up and then he’s like it was wild nothing he’s seen before like the head game wasn’t sloppy but classy as fuck. How I deep the dick down and the looks I was giving him. I tell him same I was shook when he ate me out of nowhere and then he tells me my shits tight the tightest he’s ever gotten. I’m like wow lol

So I’m driving now on regular roads and I look over at him and kiss him. Trying to pay attention to the road we kiss for a bit then get to his area.

He asks if I wanna chill for a bit I’m like yah why not. We park up beside his place and we’re making out, he’s sucking on my tits and pulls my pants down fingering me hard. I cum once again from that and he takes his fingers dips it into his mouth and puts it in mine then continues kissing me.

I had it at this point this why is a freak!!!

I lean over to his side and go in for head, I look at his dick and see the bumps I seen earlier when I was sucking him in the pool room.....

So I stop and ask him if he’s good? He’s like yah don’t worry those are just rashes from dryness... I’m like you sure? Cause they where red and fresh rashes on his dick.... possible herpes man!!

He’s like nah they aren’t and that he’s clean I’m just tryna make sure, tell him if I get an std I’m killing him!!

He assured me it’s nothing and I continue. Smh I deep it maybe two three times and call it a quits. Told him I’m tryna tease him cause of the place we parked up at is risky...

So he has blue balls now and then tucks it away, starts biting on my tits again and I’m done it felt sooo good like shit has only did that to me other guys don’t know how to suck tits!

He’s sucking it and we make out more I lean again playing with his dick after I told him to put it away i pull it out again. Smh I kiss it some more and say that’s final. I tell him I have to go, he’s like okay. But we still continue kissing. I pull off saying I got to go and then mood changes.

Those rough sexual kisses turn into emotional kisses we kiss slowly and with passion, I felt that heavy.

He tells me leave him here he’ll walk over to his place and I can head out, I’m like okay.

I tell him bye zaddy as he leaves. He laughs.

I pull out the parking spot and see him standing there waiting so it seemed. His look was like he was upset or something.

I roll down the window do a eating sign with my hand and tongue and he smiles.

I leave. That’s that.

Now it’s Monday. Didn’t hear from him since yesterday after I dropped him off. Don’t know if I wanna be with him cause those kisses got me fucked up real shit.

We even talked about plans on fucking but space and time was an issue. He jokingly said “you know I’m a busy person, you gotta make an appointment in advance I’m like lol so I can’t hit you up randomly saying I need dick?” He laughs.

But real shit, Saturday night was wild. I didn’t think I was gonna end up with him either. He’s a fine mother fucker too. Oh man. Now I was creeping his insta earlier and still see the rose and D next to his bio.. go to his girls page and see the same J with a black heart. Smh she isn’t even cute, idk if I wanna do anything with him.

Don’t think he’ll hit me up unless it’s a party, but it is what it is. He’s 96 I’m 95 I don’t want to picture myself with him cause of his religion either. I gotta step back and forget about Saturday night.

Got me at work all fucked up, wanting to send him a message but pulled back. Smh.

Now I don’t know if I want to continue it cause Abel’s feelings are gonna get crushed heavy in the process so I’m just gonna let it be. He’s looking out for his cousin and I get that but also thinking why block your happiness?

Whatever.

& now that’s how I enter my 23 years of life. Getting raw fucked in the bathroom while sucking a dick that has bumps on it. I need to go get checked out maybe this weekend cause i can't bare the pain if it happens.  Ha.

[3-2-1-7-3]

March 2017

I wish I can make everyone happy. I wish I can always lend a hand to everyone. I wish I can ease everyone's pain. But, guess what, I just can't.. Know why? Because, I, myself is not happy afterall. Well it's true, you gotta start from yourself first before spreading it to others. Fact check. Getting right to my life, well my life is not as interesting as yours. Not fantastic as yours. For my life is the life of a girl that attempted ending her life multiple times, the life of a girl who attempted suicide multiple times. It is really hard being myself. Another fact check. Well yes, you won't wish having my life after reading this letter. Well, hey, this letter is not really intended for anyone. I just want to write my feelings down. If ever you really wanted to know about myself, stay back, and read between the lines. So yeah, let's start. Shall we? Here's a girl who is an honor student, graduated Valedictorian when she was in gradeschool, impressed? Well you shouldn't be. I even feel like I don't deserve it.. I don't know. It's really hard having bullied when I was in highschool huh. Well not literally bullied, just sort of. Idk lol. It's like there is a room of laughter and then you'll get inside the room and everyone stops. That freaking sucks. All eyes on you while they are whispering with each other. It sucks not knowing what you have possibly done. Lmao. Plus, your teacher telling you that you don't deserve this boy in your class because you are not beautiful enough. Yup, my adviser hates me a lot. And I don't even know why. Well, I really lost my self-esteem slash self-confidence in there eh? Well those are pretty basic to you — I can't blame you hehe. Just like what I've said, stay tuned. There's more. College life.. Well I am not yet done with my college life.. oh well not yet. This is the phase of my life when my world got upside down.. Here's my interesting college life story. Here, I got raped. Yeah, I got raped. It sucks more than you know. It fucking sucks. It sucks more when the flashbacks hit you. It sucks feeling dirty. It sucks feeling worthless. It sucks feeling a slut. It sucks feeling a whore. It sucks feeling nothing about yourself at all. Do you know that feeling? Well sure you know. Sure you have an idea about it, but you will never know how it really feels like until you experience it. It sucks having a trauma. It sucks knowing to yourself that you are psychologically or mentally ill. A retarded one, whatever you may call it. Fuck myself. I hate myself. I hate myself for being dramatic, I hate myself for being sensitive. I hate myself for feeling something. I hate myself for hurting everyone. I hate myself... I don't know what's happening to me. A simple gesture from anybody can trigger my depression and ill mind. It will bring the whole lot of situation and everything that happened in my life. It fucking sucks. It sucks when you feel like you just want to be alone in a quiet room doing nothing. It sucks feeling that you're not somebody. It sucks feeling every fucking bad thing in this world. It sucks being dramatic and fragile, really.. Fuck I can't think of anything, I might as well sleep and continue when I am lonely and hateful of myself again. Fuck my life yeah.

[flameontheotherside]

I quit

Yeah ummm... I'm not cutout for hard manuel labor. I signed up to be a dishwasher. Not a bustyourassuntilmidnight job. No no no... No one told me that I'd be working for unprofessional and disorganized kitchen. There was a reason I quit using my degree in culinary. It's too fucking much. I don't have the mental strength for it. Not like I did when I was younger. Even still I was neurotic.

I was at work for ten hours just back to back. I took breaks but again, no one told me and I didn't realize that taking breaks would fuck me up. Because on downtime I could have been making things easier for myself. 😭But nooooooo... Now I understand why some of the girls asked if I was okay.... 🤔AND I THINK A GIRL HIT ON ME?! What?! I kept looking at her but only because I was trying to figure her out. Ehhh.... I wish I was in the right mind to say something back to her. I feel bad... And flattered but Uhhh seriously. I'm not gay. I'm just a chick that curses....😅A LOT. But what would I say? She called me cute. Lmao I need to get some fucking sleep.

So I quit.

I don't think I've made enough for my trip to Florida. If I did then it would be cutting it real close. I'm asking God to help me at least get to Florida. Please🙏😭 please at least help me get to my hearing. My back hurts and my brain is broken. It was all too much to grasp in one night how the manager was listing off the shit I had to do. It was overwhelming and I can sense that they see that I'm dieing inside as they explained it to me. I checked out several times in wrapping it all around.

Three of us did the job ONE person is responsible for doing in ONE night! This is retarded. It takes two people to do it! Not all on me... I didn't sign up for it anyway. Especially me so late at night, it would be an inconvenience to her, Lynn to have to pick me up too.

Before bed I told Lynn That I love her.

It was something I thought about all day slaving away. I didn't want to say I forgive her. Because I actually don't. I'm working on it. But as a human being with deficits of her own, sure. I love her. But when she attacked my beliefs and my relationship with God that's a whole other thing. The WORST THING someone can do to me is tear down my relationship with God. 😢It hurt so bad I wanted to hurt myself. She really said some fucked up shit. I won't get in to it because it will fucked me up again. Talk shit about Erik being my Twin Flame. Fine.... But don't touch my personal relationship with God. Because I was in her house I couldn't defend myself and I want about to. I only wanted to point out her error. She simply praised God and curse people for not helping her move. She didn't have to curse them out but she talked poorly about them like "I'm blessed and people who don't help me are only after themselves and that's why thier life sucks".... That kind of shit. It's still cursing.

People hate being called out. She was wrong for talking bad about people. For not considering my feelings yesterday after I got out of work, I was beat and largely upset because I'm away from everyone I love. Anyway I asked if she was going to bed and told her I love her. She's a lot like me in that we are very particular about some of the same things. But holy shit. Maybe on a whole other level when it comes to certain things but still neurotic and OCD? I'm probably not making any sense. So tired. Very very tired. She said, "I love you too baby." So that's a step. I'm tired enough to sleep until tomorrow evening.

There's a reason I'm filing for disability.

Trying to work and trying to work in a high level of stress messes me up so bad. It didn't help how disorganized and unprofessional the place was. When I work for a restaurant, I don't eat there because I know what happens in the back. Now that I've remembered, I'm in NO HURRY to eat at a venue ever again. Some places are poorly ran a d just dirty. I've seen many violations. You have been warned. Personally I've made it a habit to avoid certain things even though I love them. My health is more important. Le fuck, le that.

😘❤️ Good night ya'll

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(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:・ﾟ✧Don’t forget to take a look at Erik’s blog run by his amazing mom Dr Elisa Medhus. Lots of stuff about his afterlife and 💩 at channelingerik.com.

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