#twin flmes

[flameontheotherside]

*cracks door open*

Me: What's for dinner?

Parents: Food.

Me: Yes I know it's food.

Parents: It's pizza.

*runs downstairs*

Yes relatable 🤣 when growing up and I used to stay in my room.

I would blast my music and play my games. Especially when it's family over and you want to avoid the awkwardness. I hated family guests and the small talk that came with it:

My have you grown!

Do you remember -insert stupid memory (or trigger) you had bloked out of your mind-

Meet ________!

What are you doing with your life?

My family can be judgemental and too much. Lots of dry, passive aggressive and sarcastic comments. At first funny but someone always takes it too far.... Or I get lost in conversation and my younger brother gets rediculous by letting me know how slow I am.

Check out my store where I offer detailed and credible readings. Please note that pricing is subject to change.

Please visit: Twin 🔥 Medium

(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:・ﾟ✧Don’t forget to take a look at Erik’s blog run by his amazing mom Dr Elisa Medhus. Lots of stuff about his afterlife and 💩 at channelingerik.com.

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[soulmates-twinflames]

There is some kiss we want with our whole lives, the touch of Spirit on the body. ~Rumi . . . . . . . . . . . . .

  www.twinflameconnection.com   Art: Tomasz Kopera

[the-reactionist]

i am alone andi am scapegoating you again;

you’re not lone and you don’t stand for wht being alone feels like; you’re always surrounded by people so you never face that scary part of life

i am bitter in my chest; i don’t know wht exactly theemotion i process is but i am lead to believe it’s the self inflicted sexual abuse/rpe trauma

i feel i am to blame for that because i let it happen - it is painful; although i love myselfand what to heal; i feel greatcompassion of life, or prob my higher self consciousness for making such choice for me because in a peceful way i have become much less egocentric and have come to understand subconsciouss truma patterns of rape victims and the bruised sacred feminine in the entire world - tht is complicated oe to put into words but i will, someday

i have loved my self so much as to bruise my own self and experience the cycle of inevitable compassion for the villain, that lead me to realizing i did this act that hs scared me through the years, out of pure love and desire for truth; because it is in this way that i continued to move through life as nothig ever happened, and at this way that i din’t match being molested more than i would have being i had my blooming sexuality about me, undisturbed; in a twisted way, i kept myself safefrom suffering much more and deeper; because i could have been brutally raped and muredered by now; my sexual strenghthis too strong ad people want to own it and then when im not interested or protect myself, want to beat and destroy me; and if they are psycically male, and me female, they usually do............

this is the worldwide feminiity problem; men are beating and rapingwomen [or else the male is beating femle aspects] from ceturies and it is usafe being yourself; i feel enormous pressure because of that.....

i am not wanted to succeed in life - i am desired to fail.... it is too painful, i ca’t cpntinue with that

i was benevolet enough to myself to rape my own  self because i am the only person i could forgive for raping me - my master consciousness split and decided this - i remember tht vividly in my childhood; it was magical, very real and powerful; so i am grand being; i cpome from tibet and feel associted with shaolin as well;;;; 

in rapintg my self i put aline to what i wanted to subcosciouslly attract in my life, even to what type of trauma; so i wanted to preserve myself for marridhe; to this day i havent been in a romantic relationship but i foud a boy i feel matches me so much he is like the twin flme concept to my energy; this is painful because it just brings light to all problems i see or feel within and i have toovercome them in self love if i am to manifest a relationship and baby with him... i think this is our contract - it is too beautiful to go into for now - but its like the buddhist boddhisvatha oths that if i don’t ttain self-love i had better nevr be loved and dored by anyoe who is lesser tha my complete desire; and this boy feels like mout everest to me; i know i could conquer him but i need to persist and try, and i like that; i see it as path to growth for both of us; i am his master in endurance, nd he is mine in non-deep, not-lsting connection - physical, sexual bindings to crete a child

teal says her woumb is wounded; i feel mine, too; and its scarred by the consciousness of abuse on this plaet that i ecplored by sticking a marker pen inside me to pleasure myself as a teenger and i felt completely empty and lacking closeness, humanity and connection, whe i sw tyhe bloody traces of my hymen and thought about my first time super awfully bitterly - i wish i hd shared that ; this is the most bautiful thing girl cnhare with boys; but i didn’t ; i [revented myselffrom getting to it, even though i used to be desired by bys then, s i am now - by those whom i esire strongly;

but there is pain ehind that one too; because i have bee - in previouslifetimes - been scarred and abused by going deep into a sexual act with boys and then regretting it and spiralling into drkness when they leave me out of ferof the intensity of my desire - it is desire for death; it is primal; woman has it ; desire to bare children and to kill the ego self in prenthood; nobody teaches youngsters how to do that now so men are scared of women because they are oblivious to their msculinity; they live by pederastic standards that governed ancient rome - the most corrupt society in ancient hystory; pederastic worldview revolves arund pleasure and pederastic males held desdain for women and procreation - this is the seed to self destructive natuure we see manifested in relity; this obviouslly is actually helpfulas it builds chracter; i am now into studyig samurai warriors and red about their frequent homosexual contacts and exploration of that purer for of love as they would put it; nd it is; i wodr why woman can’t feel that honorable and respectful to men and procreation be this ct of murual trust and bonding; it is not too much; that was the original design

i have read a lot and have a lot to share; i want to talk to you to show you my cultural perspective on what life is about; i am more at peace because i have that, and not a spiritual perspective on life.... not the outof earth and body mumbo jumbo; an embodied art from type ofliving and existence; i feel i want to be kicked out of teal tribe forever, like i got banned from the general fb group; because i am connected to teal but her resistence to shdows isharming my existence and my life prctically - i was put in psyciatries seven times; i dont feel like expaiig the logic behind this clainm now but life is better without that what she carries within her yet she is afraud to face - the deep programming by the deqath cult leader that she is demonic and devilish; i ee through it with pain and by going at her problems with openness and love; but she is not resolving this for years and it hurts ME; directly; an di need her to help me with other pain; so i am targeting her needs first in irder to get her capable of holding space for my needs and desired freedom; it’s complex;

the problem with that is teal’s self blame; this is a stage so she will get over it but i cant wait; i could when i was in contact with my twin flame but now i have nothing and i just need support; i cant live alone; life is meaningless for me without me in it. i said it

#shine #a #light

i come from Japan/Tibet/Mongolia...

[flameontheotherside]

I quit

Yeah ummm... I'm not cutout for hard manuel labor. I signed up to be a dishwasher. Not a bustyourassuntilmidnight job. No no no... No one told me that I'd be working for unprofessional and disorganized kitchen. There was a reason I quit using my degree in culinary. It's too fucking much. I don't have the mental strength for it. Not like I did when I was younger. Even still I was neurotic.

I was at work for ten hours just back to back. I took breaks but again, no one told me and I didn't realize that taking breaks would fuck me up. Because on downtime I could have been making things easier for myself. 😭But nooooooo... Now I understand why some of the girls asked if I was okay.... 🤔AND I THINK A GIRL HIT ON ME?! What?! I kept looking at her but only because I was trying to figure her out. Ehhh.... I wish I was in the right mind to say something back to her. I feel bad... And flattered but Uhhh seriously. I'm not gay. I'm just a chick that curses....😅A LOT. But what would I say? She called me cute. Lmao I need to get some fucking sleep.

So I quit.

I don't think I've made enough for my trip to Florida. If I did then it would be cutting it real close. I'm asking God to help me at least get to Florida. Please🙏😭 please at least help me get to my hearing. My back hurts and my brain is broken. It was all too much to grasp in one night how the manager was listing off the shit I had to do. It was overwhelming and I can sense that they see that I'm dieing inside as they explained it to me. I checked out several times in wrapping it all around.

Three of us did the job ONE person is responsible for doing in ONE night! This is retarded. It takes two people to do it! Not all on me... I didn't sign up for it anyway. Especially me so late at night, it would be an inconvenience to her, Lynn to have to pick me up too.

Before bed I told Lynn That I love her.

It was something I thought about all day slaving away. I didn't want to say I forgive her. Because I actually don't. I'm working on it. But as a human being with deficits of her own, sure. I love her. But when she attacked my beliefs and my relationship with God that's a whole other thing. The WORST THING someone can do to me is tear down my relationship with God. 😢It hurt so bad I wanted to hurt myself. She really said some fucked up shit. I won't get in to it because it will fucked me up again. Talk shit about Erik being my Twin Flame. Fine.... But don't touch my personal relationship with God. Because I was in her house I couldn't defend myself and I want about to. I only wanted to point out her error. She simply praised God and curse people for not helping her move. She didn't have to curse them out but she talked poorly about them like "I'm blessed and people who don't help me are only after themselves and that's why thier life sucks".... That kind of shit. It's still cursing.

People hate being called out. She was wrong for talking bad about people. For not considering my feelings yesterday after I got out of work, I was beat and largely upset because I'm away from everyone I love. Anyway I asked if she was going to bed and told her I love her. She's a lot like me in that we are very particular about some of the same things. But holy shit. Maybe on a whole other level when it comes to certain things but still neurotic and OCD? I'm probably not making any sense. So tired. Very very tired. She said, "I love you too baby." So that's a step. I'm tired enough to sleep until tomorrow evening.

There's a reason I'm filing for disability.

Trying to work and trying to work in a high level of stress messes me up so bad. It didn't help how disorganized and unprofessional the place was. When I work for a restaurant, I don't eat there because I know what happens in the back. Now that I've remembered, I'm in NO HURRY to eat at a venue ever again. Some places are poorly ran a d just dirty. I've seen many violations. You have been warned. Personally I've made it a habit to avoid certain things even though I love them. My health is more important. Le fuck, le that.

😘❤️ Good night ya'll

Check out my store where I offer detailed and credible readings. Please note that pricing is subject to change.

Please visit: Twin 🔥 Medium

(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:・ﾟ✧Don’t forget to take a look at Erik’s blog run by his amazing mom Dr Elisa Medhus. Lots of stuff about his afterlife and 💩 at channelingerik.com.

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[flameontheotherside]

Corinthians

Lynn made me cry. Like legit. No one's ever made me feel so small in my life. Some people don't like hearing the truth and use thier station as means of firing back because they don't like what they hear. That's basically what happened. I believe she knew I was right. She used my relationship with God against me. Because we are different, we have different feelings about God, she assumes the worst of me. Horrible.

*big sigh*

So it basically started because my back was hurting too bad to help her lift her bed in to her room. Thinking of me selfish. Seriously. I busted my ass for 8 hours two fucking days in a row. She's full of shit. It's obvious. Im hurt that she has to claims to be so holy but curse me at the same time because I couldnt help her. Childish. She couldn't wait for me to rest a minute. I never said I wasn't going to help and I was okay with it but damn she got real nasty.

Boasting about how "good" she is and complaining.

That isn't nice either. Making assumptions that I'm a Satan worshiper because I don't go in to theatrics when I pray. She makes it look like she's performing a spell. She didn't like that I told her that praying is similar to casing a spell either. What to priests do? They cast out demons. They pray for the possessed. That's how they are cured. Why do we get married in churches? To ask God to bless "this holy matrimony". It's all the same just with a different label on it.

What really hurt was her jumping to conclusions, calling me names and worst of all make me feel like I was worthless. All because I politely and apologetically asked her why she could curse people but praise God at the same time. I was offended not for me but FOR GOD. It's just not right and I know he doesnt like that. I feel like telling Christians I hear the voice of God they are jealous and jump to conclusions that I must be evil. It's not fair.

So I cried and talked to God.

I asked how she could be this unfair. He said love isn't selfseeking. She's self seeking and I was reminded if that scripture. I must have had this conversation with God for hours. I asked him to help her humble herself. I don't care if she apologized to me. No one apologizes to me. But she shouldn't have said what she did. I'd like to think God sees this and helps her.

I miss my family, home, Matthew and Erik. It's hard being here feeling like I have to walk on eggshells around Lynn. I talked to her son about this and found there's a whole other side to the story she didn't tell me about him ditching her. There's always another side to a story. She hated when I "defended" the people she assumes wronged her. I don't take sides. I just look at all angles. While I can empathize with her I'm considering the other party. But she doesnt see it that way. She assumes I don't have her back because of this. Im praying that she will humble herself. I feel pride is a very big problem. She's on her soapbox and she needs to remember that pride is still a sin especially when you use it to cause hurt in other people.

I'm asking for her prayers that she gets help.

😘❤️ Good night ya'll!

Check out my store where I offer detailed and credible readings. Please note that pricing is subject to change.

Please visit: Twin 🔥 Medium

(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:・ﾟ✧Don’t forget to take a look at Erik’s blog run by his amazing mom Dr Elisa Medhus. Lots of stuff about his afterlife and 💩 at channelingerik.com.

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[flameontheotherside]

One Of The Guys

I guess I've been accepted as part of the team. Everyone is pretty nice and cool. I have the job of a dude. I 🤣👌 mean you don't always see a young and attractive tomboy/woman like me wash dishes. Lmao! I have more guy friends and hardly get along well with other women. Unless they are tomboy too. I've been hit on by other women and some might think I'm a lesbian. 😂👏 Seriously I don't mind it. But I like my Vitamin D too much...! At work, I make a game out of it to see how fast it can finish before the rush is over. I thought about washing cars but nah... I'm getting paid decently and I'm praying that I get holiday pay for working last night.

Being a work all day/night is an excuse to be far from my roommate. She's starting to get on my nerves with her controlling attitude. 🤔 I think she's being "punished" by taking away my help during the morning/day because she complains too much. I'm working hard at trying to sell her shit. I've helped her around the house and she complains and going apeshit over the little things. 😑 Hebrews 13:2...she needs to read that shit and stfu. Get off the holier than though crap too. It's only feul to get me more motivated to save my money for renting my own place.

😘❤️ Peace out behotches!

Check out my store where I offer detailed and credible readings. Please note that pricing is subject to change.

Please visit: Twin 🔥 Medium

(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:・ﾟ✧Don’t forget to take a look at Erik’s blog run by his amazing mom Dr Elisa Medhus. Lots of stuff about his afterlife and 💩 at channelingerik.com.

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[flameontheotherside]

Time Apart

I had to pull the breaks on Matthew. Kind of a break up but that's only because we were kind of together. 🤣 Don't you hate when the other party doesn't understand they are at fault? I can't think of any time he did anything for me. It was always about him. My fault. I got in to queen in shining armor mode and did so much for him. I really did a lot.

In my life I only remember feeling used or duped. It didn't come as a surprise that he wanted to reject me when he "pretended" to break up with me just so that his ex girlfriend wouldn't give away his stuff. 🤔😑 She's a work of art because as I told him every play by play. He didn't listen to me. The end result was losing my patience with drama. I don't do drama. Especially when I have bigger fish to fry.

I'm okay though.

I have a job. I'm getting things done. He's not. He has a lot of work to do. Maybe he'll get his act together and we can try this again. I gave him that. 😕 I don't want to lose him as a friend. He's not very bright and he's gorgeous. But being gorgeous and stupid? Nah I'm good.

Talked to Erik and he kind of freaked me out by saying I'm contracted to die of drug usage. Ehhh... Well I'm not perfect I have my moments around the wrong type of people but I'm not an active user. On occasion. I understand what he means... 😒🙄😑 Hmmmph. Weed is better anyway.

Thinking about myself feels better.

I'm not worrying about him being faithful or lying to me. I don't have to feel guilty about looking at eye candy... 🙄 Not that there is any here anyway. It just sucks that I won't have a friend like Matthew for a while. It actually hurts. Being around him really was like being with Erik. But it strained my relationship with Erik because I started to hate him for being dead. Don't get me wrong I'm upset he's "gone". I was also probably friends with Matthew for the way he's a lot like Erik. 😑 I admit I wished Matthew was my Twin Flame and got annoyed with Erik correcting me every time the thought came up.

Anyway I'm moving on and I can do this by myself with a little bit of help from Lynn. I start my new job tomorrow. 💸💸💸With holiday pay. I think. If so it'll make me closer to saving enough for rent and stuff. I will probably have to make several trips to get my things back. I might donate my guitars and buy new ones 🤷‍♀️. I'll have to see how it goes. Maybe make several trips to Florida for my things.

Lynn just gave me some margaritas 😝 and we are jamming out while preparing for Thanksgiving dinner.

😘❤️ Yaaaaaassssss!

Check out my store where I offer detailed and credible readings. Please note that pricing is subject to change.

Please visit: Twin 🔥 Medium

(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:・ﾟ✧Don’t forget to take a look at Erik’s blog run by his amazing mom Dr Elisa Medhus. Lots of stuff about his afterlife and 💩 at channelingerik.com.

(◕‿◕)♡ Social: Twitter Tumblr Instagram YouTube Facebook

[flameontheotherside]

Twin Flames and Parallel Lives

I like to compare it to biological twins separated at birth. I have a biological twin but we are not alike. Maybe the same sense of humor but we don't like the same things. I think it's because growing up we were treated like we did. 😂 We fought all the time especially because he was tidy and neat and I didn't give a flying fuck.

A few nights ago I was watching this mystery show about twins that shared parallel experiences. Of course became a trigger but I toughed it out to try to listen to the story. It's funny, erie, disturbing to think back on some events that happened in our lives. I know just because this happens for some people it doesn't always indicate twin flameship. It just happen we hit jackpot... Unfortunately imo.

Erik is always trying to remind me how we are twin flames. 🙄😑

I don't particularly like it but he's persistent. It feels fucked up because my whole life it was like I KNEW but didn't understand. Erik knows the shock is still grody. I don't like talking about or thinking it too much about it for the reason being that it's something I still have to work through.

I start my new job on Thanksgiving. Why, idk but I hope I get holiday pay. I'm not too concerned about how busy it will be. I just want to get paid and save up. But importantly I need to buy my way to Florida for my hearing in January.

😘❤️ Have a blessed day!

Check out my store where I offer detailed and credible readings. Please note that pricing is subject to change.

Please visit: Twin 🔥 Medium

(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:・ﾟ✧Don’t forget to take a look at Erik’s blog run by his amazing mom Dr Elisa Medhus. Lots of stuff about his afterlife and 💩 at channelingerik.com.

(◕‿◕)♡ Social: Twitter Tumblr Instagram YouTube Facebook

[soulmates-twinflames]

If you were to undress the light in my eyes you would find your soul~ swimming like wind through chimes into my bones.~Christopher Poindexter          

www.twinflames-soulmates.com