#Literal months of grinding for one mount

[hippestglitch]

Ngl, after doing the Diadem grind, that wasn't so bad lmao

[yongbokology]

eren finding out he’s been beating his dick to his best friend of ten years

part two

black coded reader <3

warnings; self explanatory, not proof read

this happened on a random friday night. eren had gotten home from one of the worst shifts he’s ever endured and needed to relieve some stress. for the past few months eren found himself frequently visiting one particular nsfw twitter account.

he found it a few months ago, same scenario, needed to relieve some stress yada yada.

after scrolling endlessly for the perfect video to get off to, his thumb comes to a complete stop once he sees you riding your pink dildo like your life depended on it. his volume was on max and the sounds that escaped your lips hit him like a freight train.

your ass faced him as you let out a string of obscenities. “f-fuck.” “ngh, shit!”

he found himself instantly tightening his grip on his cock and stroking himself to the rhythm of your hips working against your hot pink toy, covered in your orgasm.

your face was nowhere in sight but eren didn’t really give a fuck about what you looked like. he needed a quick fix and you were giving it to him.

before he knows it, he finds himself getting off to your videos almost every day.. abandoning pornhub completely and not checking for other nsfw accounts he was familiar with.

he doesn’t think about it in moment but one day your phone is perched in a way where he can see a little more than what you normally show. he sees the full canvas of your back but what really catches his eyes is the small birthmark on your shoulder. his eyes linger on it for a split second before putting all his focus back to getting his nut off.

…

“it’s hot as fucking balls, we should’ve came at like nighttime or some shit.” connie complains, fanning himself while being consumed by the scorching sun that peered down at the beach.

“relax it’s not supposed to be like this all day, con,” you reassure him, shrugging off your clothes in the process. you were for sure gonna get tan lines. “historia can you get my back with the sun screen please?”

eren was busying himself with helping reiner set up the beach tent but spared a quick glance at you while reiner was trying to fix the side he was holding. his brows knit together when he catches a glimpse of your birthmark. in the moment he doesn’t know why it throws him off. you’ve known each other for so long that it wasn’t his first time seeing it but something about it in that particular moments left him puzzled.

…

it’s another night, eren is once again in his lonesome with nothing better to cope with than fucking himself.

of course, he goes to your account and sees that you posted something two hours ago. he licks his lips in anticipation as he clicks on the video.

at this point he’s a minute in and already close to cumming. eren found himself cumming faster to you than he normally did with other partners he’s been with and he isn’t sure if that’s a good thing or a bad thing. (he chalks it up to him being involuntarily celibate for months)

but during the 60 second mark he glances behind you and catches a glimpse of something just mere centimeters away from you. the checkered logo that eren saw literally almost everyday for the last two years.

it’s the hoodie of the autobody shop he worked at. he stops pumping his dick, panting heavily, on the brink of a beyond satisfactory orgasm. his eyes are nearly bulging out his head when you take the hoodie up to your nose and a soft moan flowing out your plush lips as you take a sniff of the fabric.

you stop riding your dildo, laying hoodie on a pillow, mounting said pillow and eren can’t even bring himself to fathom what happens next.

you begin grinding your wet cunt against the hoodie he’d lent to only one person.

in that moment eren just realized he’d been pleasuring himself for several months to his best friend that he’d known since forever and the worst part is? he nutted all over his phone without even finishing pumping his dick.

[spiribia]

i'm thinking of getting into gw2, is it true that it feels less addictive than other mmos? i want a game where i can have fun exploring like in botw but i don't want to feel like i have to spend all my free time doing dailies and upgrading gear and stuff

the good news for you is gw2 has no 'gear treadmill' - reaching maximum level is its Prologue, and any gear you can equip at that point will remain just as optimal as it is then for the rest of the game, for all time. you can equip the best gear, go on hiatus for several years, and come back, and it will still be the best, most relevant gear in the game. so it's not beholden to the situation in many mmorpgs where progressively 'better' gear is released in the interim, meaning you will have catch-up work to do.

a lot of gameplay progress also unlocks account wide (vs. being restricted to individual characters), so if you grind once to obtain a cosmetic, mastery skill, or mount on one character, it will automatically become available on all your alt characters, regardless of their own level or progress. if you're someone who enjoys multiple characters in an mmo, there are many tasks that you will never have to repeat in order to have them on a different character unless you want to experience them again.

though it's not a game bereft of the potential for tedious grinding. these things are more intended by the devs to be optional long term projects, but there are dailies and weeklies or optimal farming areas where abiding by these can shorten what already may be a literal months long grind for your project, so you may feel compelled to follow these routines. this is mostly endgame content that players seeking stuff to do will pick up, and i don't think this really clips into the first time story / exploration experience of a newer player. in fact, a lot of the currency for stuff like this can be accumulated by just spending time around the maps doing whatever you like, so by the time a lot of players decide to pick up legendary crafting, for example, they'll find they already have passively accumulated a nice chunk of what they need.

largely it's stuff that is not mandatory to the game. my biggest grievance is that flying mounts are locked behind moderately rough grinds because they were meant to be a sort of high-end, optional novelty, but with so many years elapsed since their release, so many players have them that they have become optimal for keeping up with the group in a lot of farming maps. this is one case where though you can technically navigate the maps without a flying mount, you may feel obligated by the social landscape to do this 'optional' grind anyway.

SORRY my long post. the game itself is quite casual and lenient. it wants anyone to be able to participate in its story and maps. whether or not there is time-eating grind in the game will ultimately depend on what you choose to pursue in it. it's definitely possible to play without it, but where it's there, it is definitely there. i would encourage new players to not even look into farming until they're all caught up with the storyline etc., as the more perks / skills / maps you unlock over the course of it, the easier and easier efficient farming will get. it will feel much more hostile when attempted by someone just starting out, and you don't need that stuff to play through all the content.

[toointojoelmiller]

I’m doing the thing today. The thing that I swore to myself at 19, and at 24, and at 28 I wouldn’t ever get into the position of needing to do again – going on medical leave because of my major depressive disorder.

The internalized stigma for this shit is insane. I work in the mental health space as an educator, and I regularly support and advocate for patients and colleagues to do the same – prioritize their wellbeing, treat mental health challenges as seriously as physical health issues. It is something that I believe in full stop. But for some reason, even though I know so much better, it’s still so fucking hard to apply that to myself.

In June I was seeing a trauma therapist who was pushing me hard to go on medical leave, and I just resisted it. The biggest thing at that time was 1) I *promised* myself I wouldn’t get into this state again, and admitting that I had felt like a defeat I didn’t want to face, and 2) the list of “fallout” that would happen at work – people needing to cover me from presentations and hosting and training, staff not having access to the support they deserve, not being able to be present to give staff a voice during some big leadership events, committees and working groups that I am a pretty instrumental part of that will grind to a halt. And now I look back at that and think, 5, 6ish months of my life lost to this shit… declining more and more as life kept throwing shit at me … mounting health and relationship and financial problems, and some were just because I was so fucking stubborn and refused to do what I needed to.

I feel embarrassed. Guilty. Ashamed. Weak, childish, blah blah. The automatic self-talk is pretty relentless. And I wish I had an answer.

I have vivid memories of periods of remission from my depression, and I remember on multiple occasions thinking to myself, I’m better now. How did I ever forget why life is worth living? At the time, the depressed me seemed like an absolutely stranger. I remember what that felt like. To watch myself oscillate between what feels like completely different versions of myself as the years have passed has been so distressing, and it’s affected my self image and concept and worth in really painful ways.

Anyway… excuse the rant. I just wanted to share, because mental health shit is so complicated, and it sucks when it’s chronic, and if someone who has had as much education in this space and literally does this stuff for my career struggles with this, I think that’s pretty telling. If you are one of the 1 in 4 (definitely more, this shit is so underreported) who is impacted by mental illness, I see you. And even though I’ve brainwashed myself to the point where I can’t seem to apply it to myself, doing whatever you need to do to be healthy is valid.

[motheatenscarf]

oOOOH MY GOD, FINALLY

I found out about Beast Tribe quests back when I was still in ARR, tried doing them, realized what a miserable slog it was gonna be, and then avoided them like the plague until I got to Shadowbringers and loved the Pixies SO MUCH that I would do literally anything just to get more of them. Started doing some others too because I liked them, Namazu (my exact brand of like, goblin muppets kind of stupid, i love them so much), Ananta, Omicrons, etc, basically anybody who didn't want me to craft and wasn't from ARR.

Maxed out like 4 or 5 that way but then I found out that there are allied beast tribe quests that give you special emotes, but you can't do those until you max out EVERY faction from a specific expansion.

And I went, oh no, I'm going to have to CRAFT.

So then I spent 2 months grinding all crafting to get to omnicrafter, and figured, well, I'm suffering and determined already, and I know I can withstand a lot of punishment NOW for a good reward later, but I might lose resolve after too long of this, may as well get these done in chronological order.

So I spent every day doing 12 missions a day for the FUCKING IXAL. I am not gonna lie, y'all... I just started skipping cutscenes halfway through. I was so burnt out. I hated them by proxy. I have no idea what happened there.

And then I had to do the others. Amalj'aa quests are alright. Would love to introduce Loonh Gah to uh, clothes, eventually. And not in the condescending way the Allied Tribe quest does. Slyph quests were cute, I like the Sylphs, they're like bargain bin pixies. Kobolds were also cute, the least awful grind imo because all their quests were like, right there, and nobody made me go tear assing off to the other side of the map on special mounts or timed mission carries where I had to click a stupid mushroom to make it in time or some bullshit. And then the Sahagin, who were my personal favorites, because it's the #1 fish dad and his army of idiot children and one of them sings Golem's fish song and also he said he'd be my dad too and I love all of my idiot fish brothers.

So after all that I did the allied quests and met uh... bargain bin catboy Zenos?

Complete with "weirdly misogynistic introductions," except he doesn't even get redeemed by going off the rails bugfuck insane. Oh well. At least now the ARR tribes have figured out intersectional solidarity so that one scene in Endwalker feels more earned.

Now I just have to do the Vath, the Moogles, and the Vanu, who are all located in 3 of the worst zones for getting around easily in the game.

I love Moogles so I really hope they'll remind me what joy feels like as I get through the rest of these. I miss the Pixies and Namazu so much...

[doozclops]

Seeing Guild Wars 2 increase in popularity after all these years is weird to me. I know nothing about the state of the game since Path of Fire, but I have words I want to say regardless. They're not very nice words though, so if you're really into the game seeing this would make you mad, I don't recommend going further.

I played it since the beta, for about 7 years overall. It was the only competitor to FFXIV at the time, until I eventually stopped playing and played FFXIV exclusively.

I played both expansions that were available at the time, I knew what Lion's Arch looked like before they changed it with the Living Story shit, and I saw the game slowly become more and more about cash shop stuff and less about actually playing the game.

The point that made me realize it had made a turn for the worse was when they added mounts in Path of Fire and I distinctly remember the devs being asked for mounts very early in the game's lifespan. They said they wouldn't, because waypoints were already a thing and mounts made you less likely to look around and enjoy the scenery, instead just zooming by from A to B.

Then of course they made the best mounts insane grind fests, as if the endgame wasn't all grindy anyway. Farm world events, pray for Ascended weapons to drop, play for months to get a single legendary weapon crafted, and then they said "what if this was just the entire game model" even though originally GW2 was so different from other MMOs. There was no gear treadmill, you were never overleveled because everything synced your level down.

I remember when there was hope that they'd add new dungeons. They were some of the more interesting content in the game. I don't know if they ever did, but I do know they just added shity raids that brought out the most toxic traits of players. Like you just couldn't join people if you were a Ranger or something.

And don't even get me started on the Black Lion bullshit. Skins for mounts? Literally everything was in the gem store. Some of them weren't even guaranteed, you'd have to pay like 10 bucks to get a random skin for a mount. And how they stopped making armour skins and started making shitty "outfits" that couldn't be mixed and matched. And the Black Lion Chests. What a total money sink. Putting cool weapon and armour skins in there exclusively, forcing you to spend absurd amounts of money if you wanted one. We were all against loot boxes, so what happened?

I don't know what state it's in right now, and I know that for a lot of people it's new and fun. The fun will wear off, and unfortunately become the same as shit like ESO. Free to "play", but not free to enjoy. I can't even look at stuff about it anymore, it makes me angry, and regretful, knowing how much time and money I spent on it and it still made me miserable.

[snorfbin]

just a little eensy teensy rant about eso lately

im not looking for a discussion or anything like that, this is just a rant i couldnt stuff in the tags

eso is one of those games that i want to like but it feels like with each passing day i find theres more and more to dislike about it. sometimes i feel like im submitting a ticket every week bc theres something broken i come across. stuff environmental asset that were once entirely solid can now be clipped through which prevents people from getting loot the devs stashed ontop of it

lately theyve been celebrating the 10th anniversary jubilee, 10 whole years of eso, and of course they can even do that smoothly along with literally every other event theyve put on in 2024. it started out fine but shit soon hit the fan

they made an update to pts so players can test out the new dlc and some new pts features to test out higher level builds. things were going well until about an hour after the pts was brought back online when my server, pcna, was suddenly taken offline without any warnings. i had to hop over to the server to get some info which is where i learned that the pts update hadnt gone smoothly. zos somehow crossed the wires between pts and pcna where people could bring over their max level pts toons over to pcna and i heard people had billions in gold and trillions in loot. pts and pcna were taken down for this emergency bc it absolutely wouldve devastated the player economy to have that much money flowing around. speculation on how zos would handle this was grim on the forums, generally people were expecting a server rollback and all progress they had made that day would be erased. ill give zos credit, they didnt do a rollback but just locked the accounts of those who were affected by this pts exploit so the devs could dig through their inventory and xp histories to pick out the exploits; everyone else who didnt exploit the game would be fine to continue on playing when the servers came back online

pcna was taken down i wanna say around 7 am for me and was only brought back by around 11:30 pm so thats most of the day for the event gone. to my knowledge it took a couple days for pts to come back online. overall the issue didnt bother me beyond the time the server was down at that point. those with locked accounts would receive incredibly generous gifts from zos to make up for the inconvenience of being locked out during the event. theyd get...

-16k endeavours. they can use that to buy items from the gamble crates without spending any irl money. 16k is enough to buy like 400 of the bottom tier items or just 1 of the top shelf fancy as fuck items. thats about 10 months worth of constantly grinding for endeavours

-5 replica style pages released this year for the event. you can normally get these style pages through a handful of activities but the drop rates have become infamous for how abysmally low they are. ive heard of people running 700 dolmens now throughout the whole event and they have nothing to show for it. players whove been locked out get all 5 without putting in the work

-25 confetti scrolls to make the new jubilee horse mount. normally you get these by doing 1 daily quest to get a gold event reward box, you get 1 confetti scroll per box and the event was originally only meant to go on for 18 days, youd have to spend event tickets to buy more to complete the achievement to earn the horse

so locked out players get all 3 of these overwhelmingly generous gifts to make up for the time theyve spent locked out during the event. usually whenever zos actually feels bad about a blunder they just give us some ugly as fuck pity pet and move on with their shenanigans. theyre basically sucking the dicks of players here in my humble opinion. they even added on an additional 2 days to the event, instead of just 18 days worth of the event its not 20 days in total! hallelujah for that!

and then they decided to go back on the 2 additional days and essentially just make it 1 day for literally everyone on pcna. for the final day of the event, from 3 am to 7 am, pcna would be taken offline starting at 3 am when tickets are supposed to reset so that they can restore locked accounts. zos even stated that they expect the server to be offline for like 8 hours. just go fuck yourself if youre on pcna and were hoping to get the final 3 tickets and maybe some bonus rewards, those 2 extra days zos promised is effectively just 1 day and a broken promise

my gripe with the server being taken down is that it was scheduled for 3 am. thats when daily quests and tickets reset. if you werent already on and ready to get your tickets youre just fucked with no hope of getting your tickets, spending them, or earning any other rewards for the extra day zos promised you. they S E R I O U S L Y couldnt wait maybe another 10 mins so those dedicated to the event and to earning tickets could maybe actually have just a little bit more time to actually earn the final tickets and the last of the event rewards as well as buy event goodies from the impressario and indrik vendor merchants who are only around during events and tend to have items associated with specific events and seasons? they seriously needed to take the server down for the entirety of the final day of the event? players whove been locked out seriously cant wait just 10 extra minutes?

i consider myself to have be very lucky to be nocturnal for the past while. i was able to be online before the servers went down. i prepped some daily quests to turn in for my last rewards and was ready to earn my final tickets. i got the event boxes and my tickets. not many other players are awake at 3 in the fucking morning on a weekday and had absolutely no chance to earn their final event goodies! they were also p damn fast at taking the server down too. usually it takes like 3-5 mins but ive personally seen it take as many as 8 mins for the server to go offline. my clock read 3:01 by the time the server was pulled offline. thats unusually punctual for zos in my experience over the course of 3 years of playing eso. players who were locked out wouldnt even be able to get the rewards of the last day of the event either

im just fucking pissed that they promised us 2 extra days of the event and then unexpectedly backtracked in the worst way possible by giving everyone on pcna only the slimmest of chances to get the rewards of the final day. this round of maintenance has turned the forums into more than a bit of a warzone too with players fighting each other over whos fault it is when its so very clearly the fault of zos. it feels like the whole fucking dev team is made up entirely of clowns keyboard smashing their way through some very delicate spaghetti code so its just inevitable that like 50 bajillion things break with each and every update.

i dont fucking care if youre one of the players who got locked out or if youre also mad about missing the final day of the event. i just need to fucking vent about how god awfully stupid zos is at least this one time. the only reason why i even continue playing eso is bc its the only source for tes content nowadays bc tes6 is never coming out

[unidentifiedfuckingthing]

we need words that mean sexy but for autism and not sexual attraction because i feel nothing towards these faceless middle aged guys on the internet, sexually, but oooh listening to people talk about mechanical precision gets me so hot and steamy. do you know what i mean. theres this website for a company that produces incredibly, painfully perfect spheres, and designs for precision machinery that depend on incredibly perfect spheres (you would be surprised how much this is All Of Them) and they have a large blog section explaining how to use spheres, and common misconceptions about the use of spheres in precision, and explaining the proofs behind a kinematic mounting system, which im sure exists 100% so that corporate customers who want precision but dont have an understanding of how to get it and send them stupid emails can be given a swift and decisive "Sure! Here's our literature on the subject:" and they never have to respond to one of those stupid emails with the precious time and effort of a living human on this earth to explain to another white collar lackey why you cant Just make a table with 4 legs thats as precise as a table with 3 legs, Yes it would be 100 times as expensive and still worse, etc. but oh my fucking god there was probably like 6 months of my life that whenever i was bored i would immediately load up that site and just browse again all the blogs id already read about the difference between a maxwell coupling and a kelvin coupling. or why Actually you have to use a pin in a v-groove and not a matching angle. i didnt need to learn them a 10th time i just got so excited hearing it. if you knew me in 2021 you could not escape how much kinematic couplings excited me and how much i needed to tell everyone about it. theres something about these ridiculous and arbitrary things like, for instance, how to grind the diameter of a steel ball within a hundredth of a thousandth of an inch, or shimming runout on a machine, or figuring out how to machine a piece without having to move the piece around so that all the cuts are automatically perfectly referenced to each other, that is so awesome and exciting to me. like its just the most contrived situations, with absolute deathly requirements that its gotten exactly right and NO less, and people thought about it hard enough that they were able to say Actually there are these fundamental principles [of physics, of kinematics, of machine design, of machining technique] that inform every one of these problems anyone will ever have, and by extension of knowing these fundamental principles theres a method for literally every instance of this kind of a problem. you need to position something perfectly, perfectly accurate, and you need to do this repeatably a thousand times without wear, you would think this requires blood sweat and tears and hours of manual tramming. but its a flat, a line, and a sphere. we simplified the entire universe down into the perfect description of the 6 degrees of freedom. its like if you were given one of those nauseating calculus equations the size of a chalkboard and its filled with matrices and shit in it and it simplified down to x + y = 1. its like the screensaver hitting the corner of the screen. its the humanly closest thing achievable in the immutable physics of this world to measurable perfection. it gets me hard in the brain

[mrs-gucci]

Spread ‘Em Wide {Clyde Logan x pregnant!Reader}

author’s notes: hellooo! happy memorial day everyone :) I’m so soft for Clyde and his pregnant girl...but I’m also horny. so, this is the resulting fic lol

**this is part of the Clyde & Pumpkin AU**

warnings: smut. fluff. literally just smut. error: plot not found. pregnancy/belly kink. some breeding kink (v light, though). use of a clit vibrator. a dash of dirty talk. 

(possible) tw’s: pregnancy.

“Oh pumpkin, oh honey…” Clyde sighs, kissing your lips as his hands gently hold your hips, pulling you further onto his lap. 

You whine softly into his mouth, already feeling your panties soaking. Pregnancy hormones were no joke, you’ve discovered, especially in the second trimester when you began showing. 

Luckily, Clyde is always ready and willing to help you out with your sudden feelings of intense horniness.

“Ye look so pretty, so fuckin’ beautiful all swollen like this.” He moans, hips pressing up against you. “Love havin’ ya on top of me, pressin’ yer big belly on me, pumpkin.”

You bite your lip, looking down at your handsome husband with lust-blown eyes. “Yeah? You like seeing me pregnant?”

“Shit, oh god, y-yeah.”

His cock throbs beneath his jeans and he groans, nodding eagerly, beard gently scratching your neck as he kisses and nips your skin.

Your hands run through his hair as he continues his assault on your neck, covering seemingly every inch of it with kisses.

“Wanna put ‘nother one in ye, pumpkin, keep ya swollen ‘s long as I can.” His hips buck up gently as he nips your collarbones. “Love burying my cum in ya.”

You moan softly as he pulls your shirt up over your head, licking his lips when his eyes come in contact with your breasts. You’ve grown two sizes during the pregnancy, and you practically spill out of every bra you own now, even if you buy the correct size.

Clyde loves it, though, and his mouth instantly gets to work on the exposed mounds poking out the top of the cups. “Jesus, I love these tits so fuckin’ much, love seein ‘em spill out of yer bra. So big, so full...fuck.”

“P-Please.” You whine, starting to bounce lightly up and down on him. “I’m ready for you, wanna ride your big fat cock, Clyde.”

He growls, holding your hips still.

“So eager, hm? I think I wanna take ye from behind today, pumpkin, get real far inside ye so that I can put my cum in nice n’ deep.”

The prospect makes you shudder with excitement. “Where do y-you want me?”

His lips curl up into a small smirk and he leans forward, mouthing at your earlobe, breath hot.

“Go on upstairs n’ bend yourself over on the bed. Take these leggin’s off, hold onto the headboard, n’ spread yer legs nice n’ wide for me. Can ye do that, pumpkin?”

You quickly nod and get up off his lap, walking upstairs as fast as was possible with a pregnant belly. Your leggings are all but torn off, with a bit of maneuvering of course, before you take your position on the bed. 

Clyde comes up a minute later, groaning softly as he sees you fully naked and bent over just as he’d asked. He quickly sheds his clothes and strokes himself as he walks up beside you, spreading your lips with his prosthetic, extra careful as your glistening folds are exposed. 

He suddenly gets an idea, pulling away and walking over to the closet, pulling out one of your favorite clit vibrators. He puts a dot of lube on the toy before turning to the lowest setting, setting it gently on your sensitive nub.

The way you gasp and your hips instinctively roll down against it makes Clyde throb in his palm.

“Yeah, yer pussy loves this lil thing, huh pumpkin?”

You nod, biting your lip as your hips grind roughly and desperately down onto the small toy. You’re sweating with the effort, quickly reaching the edge of orgasm. He couldn’t believe how quickly you’d reached this point.

“G-Gon--gonna fucking c-cum, baby.”

When Clyde senses you’re about to orgasm, he clicks the button, turning it up a setting. Your eyes fly open and you cry out as an intense and sudden climax hits. 

“Fuck, oh god, C-Clyde!”

The headboard bangs on the wall as your hips buck and squirm against the vibrations, enjoying the delicious pressure and subtle pain of overstimulation.

As soon as you’re finished, he turns off the toy and tosses it onto his pile of clothes, quickly mounting the mattress behind you. He rubs his cockhead through your slick, moaning softly when he feels how much has come along with your orgasm before lining up with your entrance.

“Ya ready, pumpkin?”

You nod, and he holds your hips as he pushes forward, sheathing himself fully inside you with a long, drawn out growl.

“Lord...j-jesus christ, Y/N.”

Your hands tighten against the beam of the headboard as your body begins rocking back and forth with each snap of your husband’s skilled hips. 

“O-Oh, Clyde, baby…”

“Goddamn lil pussy’s gon’ be the d-death o’ me, I s-swear.” He mumbles, fucking you a little faster. “Yer fuckin’ soaked, pumpkin, so wet fer my c-cock.”

The whole bed squeaks and creaks against the hardwood as Clyde fucks you harder, the sound of skin slapping bouncing off the walls.

“Y-Yes, baby, yes!” You cry when he begins stroking that one special spot inside of you. “Right there, oh yeah honey, right f-fucking there!”

Clyde absolutely loves it when you make lots of noise for him, because he knows it’s all genuine. That’s one thing you told him right off the bat when you first met ten years ago, that you’d never, ever fake sexual noises or releases. And you never did.

His strokes speed up and he switches the position of his thrusts a bit so that he’s now coming up a bit underneath you. This allowed him to fully rub against your g-spot while also continuing the deep penetration that comes with the doggy-style position.

You’re seeing stars as you cum for the second time that evening, tears burning in your eyes as you cry out again with orgasm. Your walls grip him tightly and spasm around him, hips jerking randomly as you ride out your climax.

He cums not too long after you, good hand reaching up to grip your shoulder as he ruts his hips erratically, cock buried as deeply inside you as it can while rope after rope of thick seed spurts into your cunt.

“Fuck, p-pumpkin, take it all inside ye. That’s--ohhhh--that’s right, ma g-good girl, ma good lil w-wife.”

It’s already pouring out of you even before Clyde pulls out, dripping down your thighs and even some onto the bedding below. He always has really big loads, which at first he was embarrassed by, but you quickly showed him how much you loved it when he made a mess of you.

Both of you are catching your breath as Clyde slides out of you, then gets up to grab a warm washcloth. He wipes your folds gently, planting a soft kiss on your oversensitive clit before wiping up your thighs, nonchalantly tossing the used cloth aside before laying down. He has a hand on your back the entire time you gently lay down onto the bed, pulling you close once you’re down comfortably. 

His textured fingertips lightly trace random patterns on your swollen stomach, laughing softly to himself when the baby starts kicking. You laugh, too, your fingers playing with his raven waves.

“She knows her daddy already.” You say with a smile.

Clyde beams with pride, scooting down so that his face can be nice and close to your stomach.

“Hey there, lil peach. Yer mom ‘n me are real excited to meet ya in a few months, an’ so are yer aunt and uncle. You’re already so loved, peach, yer not gon’ know what to do with all of it when ya finally get here.”

You both laugh softly, and your eyes fill up with tears as you rub the back of Clyde’s head. He kisses your bump, hand still rubbing it, before sliding back up to kiss you on the lips.

“Yer amazin’, ya know that? Givin’ me a daughter, carryin’ her fer me...I’ll never be able to repay ya in this lifetime, but I’ll do my damndest.” He smiles, kissing you again. “I love ya so damn much, Y/N, ma beautiful wife ‘n momma of m’ daughter.”

Tears are beginning to dribble down your cheeks, feeling so overwhelmed with love at this moment. You’re sure that you’ll never get used to Clyde’s love and appreciation for you, but you still treasure it very, very much.

You nuzzle your nose against his, unable to wipe the smile from your expression.

“I love you more, Clyde.”

[imo-chan-imagines]

Masturbation | FKBU Headcanons

Ever wondered what Daisuke and Haru would be like when they touch themselves?

Characters: Kambe Daisuke, Katou Haru

Tags/warnings: Fugou Keiji Balance: Unlimited (anime), 18+, explicit descriptions of sexual activity, male masturbation, headcanons

⚠️ 18+ CONTENT! MINORS: PLEASE DO NOT INTERACT ⚠️

A/N: I just wanted to write about them stroking their cocks. I'm thirsty, alright? Cut me some slack 😩 Personally, I'm very much a fan of what I've written for Haru, but that might just be my tastes...

Anyway, thanks for reading, and please enjoy! ♡ And please consider voting in this poll to help me celebrate 100 followers! Thank you! ♡

♤ Kambe Daisuke ♤

Daisuke isn't masturbation-mad he drowns in pussy, so he doesn't feel an overwhelming need all the time

But every now and then, he'll get the urge, and if there's no one around who can satisfy him... 🤷‍♀️

Doesn't feel at all guilty about it because he knows that basically everyone does it and he would probably talk very nonchalantly about it with you if you asked, so if you're into that, you're in luck *wink wonk*

With Daisuke, it's either about pure practicality, or unadulterated indulgence

Either he's hard and distracted, and he needs to not be, so he rubs one out–

Or he's feeling like absolutely spoiling himself, drawing it out as long as possible and making himself feel ~amazing~

If he's being practical, he'll try and get it over with quickly, probably into the toilet or something. No fuss, etc.

If he's feeling like indulging himself, he'll get the whole freaking bedroom ready: soft sheets, high quality porn in HD ready, bottles of lube yes, multiple, different toys all laid out ready to be fucked like crazy–

He totally has Pornhub Premium and has no qualms leaving comments on his favourite videos 😂

He doesn't have to think about anyone in particular when he's masturbating. Sometimes it's a face he knows well, others a stranger he passed in the street. Sometimes they're faceless he's flexible

And, like I said, he has no shame about it. It is what it is 🤷‍♀️

Soooo, Daisuke's favourite toy is a fleshlight that he can mount to a table surface etc. He loves being able to go at it like a real pussy with no hands, and not have to hold back with his thrusts

But the rhythmic banging sound of him fucking it can literally be heard down the entire length of the hallway *dies*

Daisuke, ya ain't slick 😂😭😂

When indulging, he's definitely a fan of gently caressing up and down his cock with a Magic Wand vibrator y'all know the ones I mean until he's covered in precum 😍🤤

If he's in a relationship or seeing someone, he has no shame in video-calling said person and fucking himself in front of them I mean 😳😳

I volunteer as tribute!!

And he's happy for them to join in and start touching themselves too the more the merrier!

He's comfortable with flaunting just how hard you they make him 🤑

He'll definitely keep his favourite pictures and videos of his encounters on his phone to ~use~ at his leisure

He'll casually scroll through the special folder on his phone at incredibly inappropriate times and smirk to himself

His face doesn't change too much when he's stroking his cock. It gets a little serious and he frowns like when he's pissed off and serious in the anime and his cheeks are tinged with a light blush, but on the whole, he's pretty collected

And you won't hear much from him other than grunts, heavy breaths, and stifled groans they're deep and gruff, and so fucking hot 🥵

But he is pretty strong and vigorous, I will say that. No soft, delicate touches and submissive moans here

Daisuke doesn't make love – he fucks, and that's exactly how he gets off by himself hnngg

Sometimes he just likes to see how long he can last, edging himself over and over for hours, sensitive and shaking, until he cums and shoots a massive load 😳🤫

I know I said he's not masturbation-mad, and he's not. He doesn't do it that often, but he likes to be at the top of his game, and he likes feeling good 🤗

There's a particular vein on the underside of his massive cock, that from past experiences if it's stroked or caressed, produces a highly pleasurable and intoxicating feeling

And he'll use this to his advantage, deliberately thumbing over it with fervour he likes to imagine someone's tongue curling up and down it 😏

Like, yes Daddy 🥵 let me suck your cock for you 🥺

He's literally so confident about it all. Absolute king 👑

☆ Katou Haru ☆

So, like Daisuke, Haru's not exactly crazy about masturbation, but rather than it being an occasional thing, it's more like a phase that comes and goes?

He'll go for a month or more with hardly needing to touch himself at all

And then – BOOM! Man can't go more than a couple of hours without needing to cum again

Literally can hardly do it enough

When he gets in that rut, Haru gets... desperate and it's so hot

Unlike Daisuke, Haru is very vocal when touching himself etc.

His face gets incredibly flushed, his eyes get hazy, and his hips basically move on their own I want to see iittt, pleeaase 🥺

Haru can't really afford toys etc. and would literally die of embarrassment from purchasing them so what he tends to do is:

Use his hand to stroke his cock

Make a homemade pocket pussy look up how, my peeps. It's quite easy

Or his most usual way humping things like crazy

One of his favourite ways of getting off, is taking two cushions/pillows, sliding his cock between them, and thrusting into them I highly recommend if you enjoy the movement of thrusting

I'm told it's surprisingly more intimate than stroking your own cock

When he gets like that, it's a because of an immediate need to be satisfied, and sometimes he won't even fully take off his trousers

He'll just be grinding away at it, desperately gripping the futon underneath him as he imagines being inside a tight, warm pussy, his hips getting faster and sloppier until he cums 🤪🤤

Lorddd, my body is readyyy 😩

Completely the opposite to Daisuke, Haru gets incredibly embarrassed about the whole topic, and also feels a strong amount of shame and guilt 😔

Especially when he thinks about an actual person which is why he tries not to, but he really thrives off of intimacy and connection, so it's hard

If he's in a relationship/seeing someone, he'll always make sure they're okay with him masturbating, thinking about them, etc. beforehand

Haru's the kind of guy who'll have a wet dream and start grinding against the futon in his sleep, and wake up just in time to feel himself orgasm and it normally gets all over him

Idk if that really counts as masturbation? I mean, I guess, right?

The tip of Haru's cock is really sensitive, so when his uses his hand, he likes to gently encircle it with his thumb which makes him leak so much precum 💦

Oh, and Haru is also a big fan of milking himself 😍

When he's in a rut and feeling desperate, he likes nothing better than to spend the entire mornings or afternoons of his day off cooped up in his flat, fucking himself over and over, until his cock's drained and he's completely worn out 🤫🤭🤤

Guess what he'd want to be doing with you on his days off...

But then, almost as if it never happened, like a switch has been flipped, he'll be back to normal for a month or so, and won't feel the need to jerk off more than a couple of times a week

And he gets so embarrassed about it 😭😭

He throws out the pocket pussy he made literally dying thinking about how many times and how desperately he fucked it so then he always has to make a new one all over again 😭😭

He gets scared about people finding out horny he gets and what they'll think of him 😫

Like, hush baby. I'd love to take care of you when you're like that 🤗 Cum inside me as much as you want 🥺

Thank you so much for reading! If you enjoyed it, please consider voting in this poll to help me celebrate reaching 100 followers! Thank you!

© imo-chan-imagines 2020

[spicymayo1983]

Hiya. This is a simple smut fest about you, the reader, and my favorite fanfiction subject Poe Dameron. Tempers have flared between you and Poe because you accused him of cheating on you after he gave a fellow pilot a kiss on the cheek and a hug.

You've decided it was time to dial back your relationship with him and take a break. How will Poe win you back?

Warnings, unprotected sex, oral sex, light domination, breeding kink, light angst from your end. Not for anyone under 18.

You and Poe Dameron had been in a steamy, commited relationship for nearly a year. You were exclusive. There was talk of moving in together, and he was hinting towards an engagement.

But then one day you thought that you caught him in what you assumed was a compromising position with his arm around another X wing pilot and you lost it.

You didn't understand that Poe was simply a touchy, affectionate man. He loved to hug and kiss people because that was just how he innocently expressed his feelings for people.

Everyone around you thought that you had gone mad, and they were probably right.

It's been nearly a month since that incident and admittedly you miss him, terribly.

You miss the cuddles, the kisses, how he always told you how much he loved you, and how pretty he thought you were.

And then of course the sex. Poe was so good in bed that he ruined you when it came to other men. You knew that noone else could please you like him, noone else could fuck you endlessly or go down on you until your body couldn't handle the orgasms anymore.

There were nights when you had to literally push him away, your body had become too sensitive from the climaxes.

You haven't slept right since the argument. Since you demanded that he leave you alone for awhile.

It's been nearly a month and you are awake pining for him again. Your heart and body miss him. You've realized that you overreacted and would do anything to have him back.

No contact whatsoever. No pleading holograms or knocks at your door. Poe just quietly walked away, you were wondering if he has already moved on.

Late one night after you had finally fallen asleep you receive a hologram from Poe.

You can tell he's in bed because he isn't wearing a shirt, your mind wanders towards dirty thoughts when you wonder what else he isn't wearing.

"I don't know what to start with, except that I think you overreacted". Poe begins, an upset look appearing on his gorgeous face. "You should know how I am, I'm just a naturally affectionate person."

"I miss you, I miss you every single day". You tell him as tears begin to stream down your cheeks. "You're all that I think about".

"I think about you too, a lot". Poe replies, a smile appearing on his face. "I have to go, but I'd love to see you tomorrow night".

"It's a date". You answer back, your smile getting brighter. "See you then".

You're nervous. And you don't know why. Maybe it's because deep down you fear rejection.

"You look terrified".

You're sitting alone at a booth in the back of the cantina when Poe approaches you, puts a hand on your shoulder and whispers into your ear, scaring you.

"Don't do that again". You reply with a nervous laugh.

"Can I kiss your cheek?" Poe asks, leaning in closer to you.

You turn your head to face him. There's a vulnerability in his eyes that's so soft and beautiful. You allow him to gently kiss your cheek, the softness and warmth of his lips cause your body to tingle with desire.

"Can I kiss your lips?" Poe asks again softly, his voice barely above a whisper.

"Of course". You reply, your heart racing.

The two of you enjoy a passionate kiss. The kind that make you forget about the world for a moment. Poe runs his fingers through your hair and you do the same with him, his hair is so curly, soft and beautiful.

"I've missed this". Poe sighs, looking deeply into your eyes. "I love you but you also terrify me at times, you're too jealous".

You laugh a little at his words but he isn't joking.

"Where do we go from here?" You ask, your voice sounding slightly irritated.

"Let's forget about this, even if it's just tonight". Poe tells you, flashing you a devilish little grin. "Let's relax and have some fun".

"What kind of fun are you talking about?" You reply, laughing a little.

"I think you know". Poe whispers.

Both of you have missed what he's hinting around to. You've missed it probably a little more than him.

"Tell me what you want to do to me". You purr back, looking deeply into his eyes. "Spare no detail".

"Mmmm baby I love this side of you". Poe whispers back as he kisses your neck tenderly. "I want to fuck you so hard and well tonight that you forget about everyone else you've ever been with".

"You've already ruined over men for me". You tease, kissing him back in return. "What else could you possibly do?"

You enjoy a few more drinks with Poe and then the two of you return to his quarters, a little tipsy but in otherwise good shape.

You sit on the sofa together and enjoy a long, lingering kiss.

Poe removes your top and begins to massage your breasts over your bra, he's doing that adorable little thing that you can't resist where he bites his lower lip.

"I've missed touching you". He tells you softly, caressing your cheek and kissing you on the forehead.

"I never meant to hurt you and I was blindsided when you got upset with me".

"I love you". You tell him, with tears streaming down your face. "I was having a terrible day and I took it out on you, I'm sorry".

The two of you continue to touch and kiss each other. You can feel the heat building in your body as Poe reaches down between your legs and strokes you over your clothes.

There's an ache deep inside of your body. He can tell that you want him badly, and he wants to do everything in his power to pleasure you.

As you get undressed Poe watches you, he thinks you're the most beautiful woman in the galaxy and loves to look at your naked body.

You can see the desire in his eyes and the outline of his hard cock through his pants. Poe removed his shirt and joined you in bed, you climb on top of him, nude, and teasingly grind yourself against his still clothed cock.

He latches onto one of your nipples and starts to gently suck it. You moan with delight.

You unzip his pants and pull out his thick, erect cock and start to tease the tip with your tongue.

"Oh baby, you're going to make me cum if you keep doing that". Poe pleads, his eyes rolling into the back of his head. "I want to taste you".

You roll over on your back and he spreads your legs wide. As he's kissing down your stomach you shudder in anticipation. With two fingers gently massaging your wet inner folds Poe is gently licking your erect clit, teasing it, slurping on it with his tongue.

Your birth control isn't current but you don't care. A small part of you, a voice in the back of your head, would love it if Poe impregnated you.

You'd have the loveliest curly haired babies, you thought.

As soon as you're wet and ready Poe mounts you, with your legs wrapped around his waist he slides his thick cock deep inside of you.

You moan in delight as he gently puts his hand around your throat and pounds hard into you just like you enjoy it.

He brushes up against your cervix, causing a mixture of pain and pleasure.

"Mmmmm you're such a bad, dirty girl". Poe whispers into your ear.

"Fill me up". You moan, your tight pussy gripping his cock, making him shudder in delight. "I want to feel you drip out of me".

You cum with him deep inside of you, as your body grips him and twitches from pleasure you trigger Poe's own orgasm.

He does indeed fill you up with a large load of his warm cum.

Poe stays the night and the next morning before he leaves you enjoy a shower quickie.

He made good on his promise. There was no way that noone else could ever please you like him.

The end

[actualdad]

i guess if grayson picked u up at the airport idk

the anxiety about visiting had been mounting for over a week, but it really hit its peak when you were actually on the plane making the final approach into LAX. as you watched dark blue waves flash by you wondered if he even really liked you that much. what if he saw you again and it was awkward or things were different? it had been a long time since you’d been together and sometimes things change in person as opposed to over text. he was the type of person who got bored without constant attention or who would get sick of things really quickly. you began to wonder if he’d only invited you back to be nice.

the rushing in your ears didn’t stop when the plane landed and the engines turned off. things didn’t feel real until you were outside in the chilly air, looking around for his car, but you realized that it would be almost impossible to see him because they would blend in with the other headlights. LAX had shitty reception and your texts to him were green, which made you feel more and more pessimistic about how the evening was gonna go. what if he’d forgotten you?

you didn’t even have to hear him say your name; just the sound of his voice was enough to make your head whip around. the car was still moving and he was jumping out of the back door, leaving it wide open while he ran up to you with a big grin and deep dimples.

you hadn’t even realized you were running until suddenly your feet left the ground as his arms wrapped around your waist and yours were around his neck as he kissed you over and over. he smelled so good, and you were immediately taken back to the summer when he’d get out of the shower in the mornings and you dragged him back into bed with you, slightly wet and smelling sweet and fresh. his cheek was slightly rough against yours, the stubble grown out a little, just the way you liked it.

he put you down as ethan honked the horn and yelled to hurry. he didn’t let you go, though, and kept his arm wrapped around your waist as he took your suitcase and walked you back to the car, only letting go long enough to fling it in the trunk and jump into the back seat after you. you’d sat in the seat behind ethan, but gray pulled you back before you could even put your seatbelt on and dragged you onto his lap, holding you close.

“you’ve been away way too long,” he said into your neck, ignoring ethan talking.

“i said HEY,” ethan repeated, laughing.

“hey, how’s it going,” you laughed back before gray grabbed your neck and kissed you again while ethan jokingly made gagging noises.

“i’m so glad you’re back,” gray mumbled out against your lips. his hands were gripping you so hard it almost hurt. “missed you so much.”

“yeah, i missed you too,” ethan cut in. “he literally won’t stop bitching and now he has someone else to bitch at again.”

“i definitely missed his bitching,” you said fondly, brushing away the little curl that sometimes hung down on his forehead. he was still grinning and staring back at you with probably the brightest eyes you’d ever seen. all your previous worries had been left behind at arrivals. he looked at you like he’d forgotten everything else in his life and he held you like he’d never let you go again. for a brief moment, you considered dropping out and just staying with him instead of going back after christmas.

as the car turned onto the 105 and ethan was suddenly occupied with the evening traffic, one of gray’s hands slid down down your thigh and grabbed it, pulling it over his lap so you straddled him in the back seat, hips against his. he left the hand ethan wouldn’t be able to see on your ass as you wound your fingers in his hair while he lightly dragged his tongue along the inside of your bottom lip. his hand was against your cheek and your neck and you brushed your fingertips down his forearm, bringing your hand back up to grip his wrist and keep him there.

“you guys are making the most disgusting noises can you fuckin wait?”

“i haven’t seen her in months!” gray rebutted angrily, while putting his hand on the small of your back and curving your waist forward so you were pressed up against him. you were trying to ignore the fact that ethan was there, because by now you were aching and it took everything in you not to grind down on him. the idea of getting out of the car to do something as mundane as eat was practically irritating. gray definitely knew it, too, because the hand that was on your waist slid back to your hip and his thumb began to kind of threateningly travel along the waist band of your sweats.

ethan slammed on the brakes and gray wrapped his arms around you so quickly it almost knocked the wind out of you to keep you from sliding back and smacking your head against the front seat.

“dude, what the FUCK?”

“THERE’S TRAFFIC!” ethan yelled back, gesticulating wildly at the brake lights in front of him.

gray made a noise of disgust, shaking his head, but you laughed it off, taking his face in your hands and watching the tension leave his eyes as they looked back up at you. he had lip balm smeared all over his face and you wiped it away with your thumbs before sitting up and swinging your leg back over his lap, sitting sideways again, snuggled up against him with his arms wrapped around you and his lips kind of just permanently attached to your forehead, kissing over and over.

[notoriouslydevious]

My First WoW guild experience

As many of you know, I’ve been taking a break from league, while still looking up on who is getting what skins, and I’ve been fully indulging myself in World of Warcraft.  With Shadowlands being released, I’ve been spending a lot of time grinding almost all 14 of my level 50s to level 60, but then being unsure whether I should put a character in a covenant for transmog or because the covenant class abilities synergizes well with their kits. (FUCK BEING A BASTION DRUID, NIGHT FAE IS FOR THE DRUIDS!). I’ve been wanting to put my blood elf fire mage in Venthyr because Venthyr are snotty-snobs who love having tea parties and that’s literally PERFECT for my snotty blood elf, and the transmog is fantastic, BUT the class ability isn’t as strong as Night fae. It’s a struggle, it truly is.  I’m going into this expansion guild-less, sort of like how I started mid-way through bfa guild-less, but I wanted to tell you the roller coaster that was being in a guild for the first time.  The VERY first guild I was in, I can’t even recall the name. I mainly just joined it so I’d stop getting spammed guild invites from random people. I wasn’t even in the guild discord, (guilds can be VERY tight-knit social things. For my league friends reading this, think like clubs with really intense, clingy discord groups). One day, someone messaged the guild chat in-game, “hey, who still hasn’t gotten their Uncorrupted Voidwing mount? I’m down to do a couple more runs.”  I responded back to them, “hey, I’m pretty geared and I haven’t done it yet, I’d love to give it a shot.”  A bit of back story on this mount, it was a mount that you could only get doing the heroic or mythic Ny’zoth raid AND it was going away before the new expansion. (That’s me when I eventually got it)

My friends had already gotten it without me and they were going on a WoW hiatus. I tried to get my boyfriend on to play some wow with me, he’s a tank, but he hadn’t been leveling up his gear and didn’t complete the raid prior, Azshara’s raid, so he had no interest. He was also working at lot of hours and told me wow is the kind of game where you want to be able to sit down and play a lot of it, “I need to be in the mood to play wow,” which I wasn’t going to force him. The new expansion was coming out soon anyway, so why play the old content when new content is coming? After I had messaged back that guild member, they went offline. I thought that was strange, but I brushed it off and continued doing my embassy world quest dailies. My deadly boss mods or details damage meter later gave me a message that my guild has wiped trying to kill Wraithion in 3 minutes, the first boss of the Nyloth raid.  Oof, they were doing it without me.  IN THEIR DEFENSE, I wasn’t a part of the discord group. Many guilds rely on discord when raiding to hear callouts and be able to communicate; HOWEVER no one reached out to me after seeing my interest of wanting to do the raid.  It wasn’t like I had just joined the guild that day, I was “exalted” with the guild and had been in there for awhile- just had never really done any group activities.  The new expansion was only a couple months away and after getting another message that my guild wiped on Wraithion again, I decided to leave the guild. NOW this is where the hell begins.  I was standing in Boralus when I had finally typed in the /leave. Not even a minute goes by when a big Kul Tiran dude turns around and stares at me for a bit. I then received a private message from the Kul Tiran, “hey, I noticed you left your guild. What happened?”  I responded, “oh, I wasn’t really involved in the guild, but today I was told they were doing heroic Ny’zoth and I wanted to come along- but they went without me. So I left.”  “Oh... Would you want to join my guild?” I wasn’t really sure but the time was ticking to get the Uncorrupted Voidwing.  “Are you guys active and do you do mythic keys and raiding?”  There was a pause.  “Yes, we are a very active guild and update our schedule every tuesday.” “Alright, I’m in.”  They sent the invite and I was a part of this new guild. For the guild’s sake, I’ll leave their name and their respective character names out of this.  Unlike the first time, I decided I was going to go all in and join the discord. I copy pasted the invite link and wa la~ I was in. I then get a message from the guild leader, “Anime or Goth?” At the time I had a really cute picture of goth anime girl as my discord profile pic

As much as I appreciate the goth aesthetic, I’m not goth BUT I am a huge weeb. After I said that I’m really interested in anime I was hit with another question. “How old are you?”  They did say they were a “mature” guild in their introduction, I shrugged it off and told them my real age, “21.” I told myself they were prob just making sure I wasn’t underaged.  “Male or Female?”  “Huh. Is this how all the guilds do their initiation?” I remembered thinking to myself.  I responded, “I’m a Lady.”  My boyfriend then looked over my shoulder and asked me why some random dude was asking me all these questions. I told him it was the guild leader, even though I was honestly curious why they were asking me so many questions, I didn’t really mind them knowing my age and gender.  I went upstairs to make dinner after letting the Guild leader know, “Hey, I’m not a single pringle, I’m in a relationship,” to having my boyfriend come upstairs saying, “I TOLD YOU!”  “Huh?”  He brings me my phone showing my guild leaders latest message, “Im not single either ;} my girlfriend and I are looking for a 3rd.”  “Oh.” LIKE SHIT MAN, I DIDNT KNOW THAT!  I LITERALLY JUST KNEW THEY WERE ASKING ME FOR MY AGE AND GENDER- LIKE, I DIDNT THINK IT WAS ANYTHING MORE THAN THAT!  A couple days later after doing some dungeons and old raids with the guild and getting to meet a couple people in voice chat, the discord leader sends me porn. Complete 180, out of nowhere, BOOM just sends me hentai. Like, I know I mentioned I like anime and yes, I do like hentai, but it’s not something I like just talking about with anyone. I had a friend, who in her discord server she had a whole chat channel dedicated to hentai BUT IT TOOK ME A LONG ASS TIME GETTING COMFORTABLE TALKING/ SHOWING HER THE STUFF THAT I LIKE AND!!! AND!!! I HAD KNOWN HER FOR LONGER THAN A WEEK!  And what did I do? In all my glorious and infinite wisdom? Did I tell him that him sharing those things with me make me uncomfortable? Nope, I said, “huh, I recognize those artists. Nanoless and tofuubear are great.” Im a fucking idiot. I don't like making other people feel unfordable or awkward or telling people no, so I get into a lot more trouble than if I just would’ve flat out told them no.  The next day we were doing some visions to level up my cloak, one on one, and he kept telling me how cute my voice was and that he liked my laugh, which, ya, I know I have a cute laugh and I'm extremely adorable BUT it made me extremely uncomfortable knowing that he knew I was in a relationship and that he also had a girlfriend. Like I don't need you to be telling me how cute I am, I KNOW how cute I am.  It also made my boyfriend uncomfortable seeing us two alone in a discord chat and knowing that he had been flirting with me and that I wasn’t shutting him down. I dont remember if this happened later that night or the day after but he sent me another hentai pic. It was of a girl, topless, only in panties, with an egg vibrator up her cooch, “I’d love to do this to a sub.” (I was trying to find the pic but the twitter user’s account that he sent me the pic from is suspended. Dangit waifukittyy! Anway,)  What did I do? If you guessed “played stupid” then you guessed correct.  “A sub? We talkin’ subway sandwich?” Dont ask me, I dont even know.  “You don’t know what bsdm is?”  “OOOOOOH, THAT KIND OF SUB. OOOH.”  I don't really remember the rest of that conversation either, I think after my “oohs” I just left him on read. A couple nights after, my boyfriend pulled me aside and told me how uncomfortable my relationship with my new guild master was making him. I told him I just wanted to be in a guild to help me get the Uncorrupted Voidwing mount and I promised to put my foot down and shut down the Guild master. I did and expressed how he was making me uncomfortable and his flirting was affecting not only me but hurting my relationship. The guild master responded with, “I’m sorry, I’m just naturally flirty, it’s how I always am. You’re really cute and I don’t want you to leave the guild or hurt your relationship.”  Just brushing everything off with, “im just flirty, it’s just how I am.” which trust me, I’ve heard that bullshit before, Swordpath, but I made sure to not respond to their messages and they didn't send me any hentai after that.  So all is good and everything worked out right? WRONG. This was just the beginning. 

As I started doing more activities with the guild, there was someone in the guild who, it’s an understatement to say, they weren’t my biggest fan. I’ll call them Guild Master #2, because were there actually two guild masters? No, but they were a treasurer, who was buddy-buddy with the guild master (which I’ll get into more detail later), and basically considered themselves to be the 2nd Guild Master. Like the GM, GM#2, and GM#1′s girlfriend, had a BUNCH of alts and they gave them all Officer positions and shit- so like that meme, they were literally the senate. 

(I think there were maybe 1 or 2 other people with higher roles that weren’t the GM(s)/GM#1′s girlfriend’s alts) Going back to the lovely GM#2, They were the type to always post in the discord, “Good Morning Guildies!~” and when someone new joined the guild “greetings and salutations” (they thought this was super quirky and cool) and “don’t talk to me until I’ve had my coffee haHA,” (This is just me being petty about how cringey they are but, oh wait, there’s more.)  they’d unironically always say “giggity.” at any chance they could.   Yes, I could feel bits of my soul leave my body every time she’d say it. For example, the GM’s girlfriend would say, “I’m gonna take a shower” and GM #2 would say, “GIGGITY???” “Oooo, pics???” “Pics or it didn’t happen!” (Like, ugh- just gross. THIS WOMAN HAD NO SHAME and apparently was also married and had children... both parties had children and were in relationships. It was just really, really uncomfortable and gross.) Oh, let me include another fun detail about this individual, they were a 50 year old woman with children AS OLD AS ME.  A 30 YEAR FUCKING AGE GAP and they acted like a child* (I’ll get into it below). I know I'm an immature shit at times, but holy shit, this boomer was something else. Going back to GM#1. He told me while we were doing a dungeon, that he and his girlfriend, that he lived with, along with her children, were both 40 years old. (I learned later majority of the people in this guild were in their late 30s to early 50s. I was probably the youngest.)   So some 40 year old dude was sending me hentai and flirting with me, while living with his 40 year old girlfriend and her children (which yes, were also closer to my age) and he had considered me to be a 3rd in their relationship. The more I think about it, the more I feel like he never told her that he was considering me being a 3rd, but I don't fucking know. To be honest, I think they eventually made GM#2 their 3rd, it would explain how super fucking horny and flirty she was towards GM#1 and sometimes his girlfriends, but I have no evidence, other that was I saw/heard from GM#2, confirming if she was or was not.  Moving on,  We’d go into “raids” and GM#2 would interrupt the raid leader, always trying to call shots, and when things wouldn’t go her way, she’d loudly sigh and complain.  *I say “raids” because they’d raid for about an hour, once a week, on Saturdays would usually wipe about 2 or 3 times, and then say, “alright everyone, good try- lets wrap it up and try again next week.” They had NO problem taking time to do old raid content for transmog, since it’s super easy to run through, you dont have to know boss mechanics and literally everything in there is one-shotable, but they didn't put anytime into the new content raid that I specifically joined the guild for. 

We’d do the Call to Arms (PVP) and GM#2 would sit and complain about how people were flying all over and getting kills and going different ways and how much she hated it- like why come if you don’t enjoy pvp? She was just a huge vibe killer. You dont know how hard I’d have to bite my tongue and not say, “Okay, Boomer” every time she complained. I’d join the voice chat and GM#2 would pull their buddy down into a private voice chat to talk. The, “OH, I have to talk to you about something-” pulls them down right after I joined. It was just weird petty shit that you wouldn’t expect from a 50 year old.  When we’d do Mythic Keys, GM #1 would ALWAYS invite GM #2 (which sparked problems later with the guild when I was about to leave*), and when GM #2 would notice I was there, she’d get upset, quiet, snappy at me, but would flirt and throw herself on Guild Master #1. She’d get jealous and mad if GM#1 spoke to me at all, and then if he made a sound or a joke, even when most times it wasn’t funny, she’d start scream laughing-  it was just really fucking weird. She didn’t give a fuck if his girlfriend was listening or if anyone, for that matter, was listening. It just made me feel bad for GM#1′s gf. Maybe GM#1′s gf didn't care. GM#2 would say stuff to her like, “we’re the awesomest club,” “twinsies!~” “send me pics of you naked” like- flirting with her a bit, and trying to make her feel included, but would just make it extremely awkward for everyone else in the voice chat. It also sucked because GM#1′s girlfriend was really sweet and funny. I really enjoyed her company, but she was always with GM#1 and #2, so I never really got to talk to her or know her without GM#2 interrupting me and talking over me to shut me up.  Another fun memory from keys, you only get loot from the last boss of the dungeon and the key we used was my key, I got no loot but the healer got a belt. It was an upgrade for me and I expressed that I’d like the belt.  GM#1: Are you SURE it’s an upgrade for you? Just because it has a higher item level doesn’t mean it’s an upgrade.  Me: The intellect and haste are big upgrades for me-  GM#1: Well I think the healer needs it to, sorry.  The healer was playing on an alt that they rarely used, while I was playing on my main. Was just kinda a slap in the face.    As time went on, my uncomfortable interactions with GM#2 would just prevent me from doing any activities with the guild BECAUSE SHE WAS ALWAYS THERE. There was already a dampener from my earlier interactions with GM#1, but that on top of GM#2 constantly nagging, complaining, and being rude whenever I was there, was too much.  *Someone else in the guild promptly said, “Hey, I notice you guys try to be inclusive and included everyone, but it’s literally always the same people doing dungeons and stuff together. You never really include anyone else except your tight knit little group.”  Gm#1 said something like, “well, certain people I know do big damage or heal really well, so I know they can handle the keys blah, blah, blah” basically saying, “fuck you, they’re my friends. I’m going to do shit with them instead. How dare you tell me how to run my guild??!!”  I don’t know if that person is still in that guild or not, but if they are- I wish you the best of luck, my dude. 

I had been thinking about leaving the guild for awhile now, but I decided to join one last raid, to give the guild a shot and see if everything was in my head or if this guild really wasn’t worth my time. The GM was asking who wanted to go and that they needed one more person, so I said I’d go.  It was the first half of the Eternal Palace raid, a raid I had done ALMOST A YEAR AGO. Completed it, but didn’t remember all the mechanics.  Did they go over the mechanics? Nope, just started hitting the boss and GM#2 would start whining if someone didn't know where to go or where to stand or that you have to stand in the green pufferfish goop so the healers could heal you, etc.  I’m also so thankful to this person, I don’t even remember who it was, but while GM#2 was throwing a temper tantrum they just said, “It’s only game, why do you have to be mad? Chill.”  Like fuck, someone finally saying what I had been thinking the whole time.  Did GM#1 tell her to chill out? No, it was just some other member of the guild. She loudly sighed and GM#1 sat their silently before the other tank said we should try again.   Did we finish the fight? Nope, got super close- boss literally had 10k health but we had all wiped and after that GM#2 left in a huff and GM#1′s girlfriend had to work early in the morning so both of them got off. I left the raid and just thought to myself, “nope... this isn’t worth it and there’s NO FUCKING WAY I’m getting that mount with people quitting this fast.”   It came the day when I finally decided I was going to leave. I first had my alts leave the guild and then after I removed my main from the guild I sent a message to GM#1 on discord, “Thank you for inviting me. I enjoyed being a part of a group however I don’t think this guild is for me. Wish you and the rest of the guild the best in Shadowlands.”  Like I couldn’t have said ANYTHING and just left, but I wanted to thank him for their initial kindness and all the activities we did together as a guild.  I then left the discord. I get a message in-game from GM#1, “I’m really sad to see you go, I really enjoyed having you in my guild. GM#2 and I are very upset that you left and wish to know why. If you ever want to come back, there will always be a home for you in our guild. Best of luck in Shadowlands.”  The “GM#2 and I are upset that you left” really sat with me. GM#2 was the main reason why I left, but I was gonna let bygones be bygones and not return a spiteful message that would just cause more drama.  Am I going to return to this guild? Probably not. While I had some nice adventures and got to experience some of the companionship of being in a guild, the interactions I had with the guild’s leaders really ruined it for me. I’d love to join another guild that’s ACTUALLY active, has a focus on raiding/keys, and are closer to my age, also less horny pls, but for now I’m okay with just running around Ardenweald with my boyfriend and collecting hidden mounts.  OH, how did I get the mount you might ask? As this guild was an alliance guild and we were making NO progress on the raid, I switched over to my horde toon, since she had a higher ilvl after doing all those mythic keys with my friends, and just started scrolling through twitch looking for heroic AOTC giveaways. I joined one guys stream and won his giveaway. BIG SHOUT OUT TO SAXAMON ON TWITCH! THANK YOU FOR THE GIVEAWAY AND FOR THE MOUNT! (The guild I left never completed the raid and thus never got the mount). Thank you for listening to my rant. ♥

[xhaotixaesthetica]

Day6 Eating You Out

CS2001 Masterportal

Author’s Note: I’m sorry this took so long. I got this request like four months ago and I got halfway finished and then my life started getting really shitty and hectic. I tried to make it a little longer in compensation for how long it took. Hope you enjoy!

Starlink Intergalactic Navigator 

You are in: Gaia, the dwarf planet. 

Word Count: 2.2K+

Sungjin

Getting eaten out by Sungjin would be a whole ass experience, I feel like he would be the second-best at giving head, right behind Brian. Sungjin is a whole ass dom, you can fight me on that one, but instead of being the kind of dom that gets off on teasing and torturing his sub *cough*Brian*cough*, he loves overstimulation and pleasing you and taking you way past your pleasure threshold.

Sungjin’s probably only going to give head as a type of foreplay, most likely the D is coming right afterward.

It would most definitely happen if he caught you touching yourself.

It had been a long day with him at practice and you lying around the house feeling incredibly needy for your boyfriend. You weren’t much of a brat so you didn’t send him anything to tease and make him come home and instead decided to go ahead and take care of the problem for yourself.

You were getting a bit loud so you failed to register the sound of the front door opening and closing with Sungjin’s arrival.

Practice had been let out a bit early and he was eager to have his little prince/ss back in his arms again.

It was only once he’d taken his shoes off that the sound of your sweet keening whimpers reached his ears. He could hear your breathy cries for him and his touch interspersed between your wanton moans and the sound only caused him to harden in his sweatpants.

Who was he to deny his baby what they craved?

You jumped slightly upon feeling your boyfriend’s fingers, deliciously rough and textured and calloused for years of playing guitar, gently run up and down your core, touch feather-light.

His eyes were soft but devious as he gave you a sickly sweet smile. “Did you miss me while I was at work, prince/ss?”

You could barely focus, his fingers were fucking you slowly now but you still managed to nod, hips rolling as you fucked yourself on his hand.

“You’re so cute when you’re desperate for me, little one.” he cooed, face between your legs now, smirking at the whine that escaped when his fingers pulled you away.

But before you had time to complain at the empty feeling, his mouth was on your core.

Sungjin didn’t waste time easing you into it, he didn’t want to tease, he wanted to have you overwhelmed, shaking, sobbing, cumming over and over again as you screamed the name of the man you loved.

“Fuck, Sung, slow down,” you cried, hips bucking against his face, your fingers needing to grip his hair to try and expend the electric energy that seemed to flow through your body from the pleasure he gave you, “Too much — please — I can’t.”

“You can take it, baby. Won’t you be a good little one for me?”

Jae

I don’t think Jae’s necessarily a dom or switch, I don’t think he really cares for power play when it comes to sex and he probably likes it pretty vanilla. Really, he kind of strikes me as a lazy lover as well, so you’ll mostly get eaten out if he doesn’t feel like having sex. Doesn’t expect even really think about a blow job in return but he’d probably die if you gave it to him.

“Jaeee,” you whined as soon as you stepped into your bedroom, making Jae groan from his spot on the bed, lying face down and looking like he was ten seconds away from hibernation.

“Baaaabe,” he called back in the same tone.He knew exactly what that voice meant and he did not have the energy right now.

“I wanna fuck.” you stated bluntly, throwing yourself down on the bed next to him, giving what you hoped was a cute pout.

Jae groaned.“I’m tired from practice, though.”

You were never one to harass your significant other for sex after they’ve said no, so you just nodded and got up to head to the bathroom and sort it out yourself until an idea struck Jae.

“Y/N, wait!”

You turned back to look at him, eyebrow raising in curiosity when you saw the cocky smirk on his face.

Didn’t he just say he was too tired for sex?

“I think my body would kill me if I tried to have sex right now, but there’s no reason you can’t sit on my face.”

You wanted to ask him where in the hell this was coming from since you two had never done anything like this before, but at the same time, your insanely hot boyfriend was offering to let you ride his face. Who were you to say no?

Jae’s smirk didn’t leave his face as you lowered your core down to his mouth with your knees on either side of his head.

Even though he was tired, he couldn’t help bringing his hands up to knead your ass, running his hands up the supple skin of your thighs as you moaned when his tongue made contact with the part where you needed him most.

“Jae,” you breathed out in relief as his tongue licked long, lazy strokes up and down your slit. It was almost relaxing, the warm feeling of his mouth on your body caressing you. Despite all his jokes and teasing words, even when Jae was bone-tired, he was more intimate with you than all your past lovers combines.

As your pleasure mounted, you began to want more, not even realizing that you’d started grinding onto his mouth as you chased your high.

But Jae had certainly noticed if the boner in his sweats was anything to go by.

He would most definitely be giving you the fucking you wanted once he woke up.

Young K

Brian is a sadistic daddy dom, I’m sorry but I don’t make the rules. He doesn’t hurt you or anything (he’ll engage in choking and spanking if you let him but that’s for another post), but he will tease you until you cry. The only time Brian will let you cum from his tongue is when he’s jealous or been away for a while. You’ll be begging to stop coming then. But other times, Brian will draw sex out, bringing you to the brink of orgasm in at least three different ways before he fucks you.

You fucked up.

You had good intentions at first, just trying to be a supportive MyDay as you binged Day6 performances on Youtube on your day off. Somehow that turned into binging on videos of your boyfriend specifically, which inevitably made you horny.

It wasn’t your fault he was so hot.

What was your fault was sending a video of you touching yourself to Dowoon instead of Brian. Sure, it was an accident, but it was one that could have been avoided entirely if you’d just decided not to be a brat and wait until he got home.

You’d been planning on getting teased tonight, not overstimulated to the point of sobbing, but you knew exactly what was going to happen once your boyfriend got home.

Brian normally sent you a text once he left work, letting you know he’d be home soon. But there was no text today and his radio silence let you know that Dowoon snitched (even though you’d texted immediately after and said the video wasn’t meant for him.)

Ten minutes ago marked the normal time that Brian would leave JYP and you had about twenty minutes before he would be home.

At least that was what you thought before the door banged open and your boyfriend swaggered in, not looking at you yet as he leisurely peeled off his shoes, hoodie, and shirt in that order.

You were silent, eyes downcast as the anticipation mounted inside you with every step he took.

You lifted your eyes to look at him when you felt him push your thighs apart, kneeling between them and sliding your hips closer to his face before abruptly ripping your underwear.

You couldn’t help but blush under his hungry gaze, whimpering as he slides a long, calloused finger up and down your warmth. “You’re already so wet for me, baby.”

“Only for you, daddy,” you moaned.

“I know,” he said before burying his face in your heat, eating out like you were a meal and he’d been starved for years.

You came six times that night, once for each minute of the video.

Wonpil

Wonpil loves to please you. He will literally get hard as a rock just seeing you feel good, whether he’s being touched or not. While I don’t think that Wonpil is as much of a sub as he seems, and definitely not all the time, I do think he’s a pretty sub leaning switch and likes for you to rough him up just a little. He wants you to take control while he’s eating you out, he wants dirty talk, and he wants to be praised and told how much of a good boy he is. In exchange, he’ll use his mouth to make you feel better than you ever have.

“C’mere, love. I need you, need to feel your pretty mouth on me.” you moaned, looking at him with sultry eyes as you spread your legs to give him a glorious view of his favorite thing.

Wonpil was on his knees in an instant, whining as he kitten-kicks your core, letting out a long moan at your amazing taste.

You watched him through hooded eyes, biting your lips as you decide that his tongue is too good and you’re too needy, so you waste no time in tangling your fingers into his hair and shoving his face into your core.

Wonpil moans at the way you take control, but he doesn’t speed his tongue up, not yet.“Be a good boy for me, baby. Lick me harder and suck my clit,” you hiss.

Wonpil smirks a little as he follows your instructions, lapping up your juices and sucking on your bundle of nerves like it was the sweetest lollipop he’d ever had.

You moaned at the pleasure, back arching as you pushed his face deeper and ground on his tongue like he was your own personal toy. You could see one of his hands trail down to his bulge, rubbing at the hard-on that had formed.

He loved being used and ordered around by you.

“God, baby, your mouth is so good. You make me feel so good love,” you moaned breathily.

Wonpil groaned. In between your legs like this was the best place to be for him.

Dowoon

Dowoon absolutely loves eating you out. He might do it more than you actually have sex. Dowoon lives for all the foreplay and touching before actual sex. To him, it’s the main course and sex is the really explosive desert. He loves your taste and he loves being able to run his hands along your body and know that he’s the one making you feel so good. Eye contact while either one of you is receiving oral is also a big thing for him. Moan his name when you cum, tell him you love him and he’ll be gone.

It was one in a series of days that both you and Dowoon had a day off and you fully planned on taking advantage of it.

You were in nothing but a pair of underwear and one of Dowoon’s oversized t-shirts as you laid haphazardly on the couch, remote in hand, and channel-surfing for something good to watch. 

You were waiting on Dowoon to get out of the shower so you could cuddle, but when you saw your boyfriend emerge from the hallway, half-dressed and hair half-dry with water still dripping from his torso and a predatory look in his eye, you knew that cuddling was the last thing on his mind right now.

“I want to taste you,” he rasped, chuckling darkly at the eager nod you gave.

Dowoon bit his lip, a small smirk threatening to emerge at the way you whimpered when he licked a long stipe up your slit.

“You’re already getting so wet for me, love. Do I make you feel good?” he asked, his adoration for your practically written on his forehead as his dark, sultry eyes bore into your already-frazzled ones.

You nodded, not even aware of how your hands were gripping his hair. “Yes, Dowoon. You feel so good, so good to me,” you babbled as he licked his tongue in your entrance a few times before paying attention to your clit.

The shy boy that was usually your boyfriend was nowhere to be found. The way he licked and sucked at your clit, the way he kissed between your thighs, the way he moved his tongue in and out of you. It was all romantic, deep, sensual, like he was using his mouth to make love to you.

“Tell me you love me,” Dowoon mumbled as you were about to cum, one of his hands coming up to lace their fingers with yours.

“I love you! Fuck, I love you so much,” you moaned, arching into his mouth as your high came down on you. 

Gaia, the dwarf planet 

[dammitadolfnomorecake]

Once Bitten, Twice Stupid prt 198

198

Pinching himself, Keith couldn’t tell why he hadn’t woken up. Lance came out the bathroom blushing in fucking lingerie. His boyfriend in lingerie. It broke his brain. He didn’t have a lingerie kink... He’d never wear it. Lance... once wouldn’t have worn it. His boyfriend was a boy... and though embracing more “feminine” clothing as his body had changed, Keith knew Lance missed the days of jeans and button down shirts with jackets.

Blushing harder as he stared, Lance sighed at him

“I... does it look bad?”

“Nope”

“Okay... I’m kind of nervous here... I kind of feel really stupid and not that sexy”

Ooooh. Lance was sexy. He was sexy without the lingerie... and he was sexy with the lingerie. The blue green tones looked amazing against his skin. The bra had like a skirt thing that split at the front falling like curtains against Lance’s gravid belly. Google showed him not everyone really “popped out”, Lance did. Lance did and he loved it... even if it sucked for his boyfriend.

Climbing off the bed, Keith pinned Lance back against at the wall, the vampire gripping the door frame as Keith kissed him hungrily. He knew Lance had body issues since the start of his pregnancy. He still took photos of his stomach weekly, but some days he looked thoroughly miserable over his swollen belly... when he thought no one was paying attention. This trip was about reuniting with his dad, but it was also a trip for them to be able to spend a few days alone. Slotting his knee between Lance’s legs, his boyfriend raised himself to mount his knee, grinding down with a breathy moan

“Keith...”

“Bed. Now”

Lance knelt on the bed with his hands against the wall. Keith couldn’t have things both ways, no matter how he wanted them. He wanted to lay Lance out beneath him, finger him as he blew him, yet laying flat on his back without support wasn’t comfortable for his lover. Running his hands up Lance’s stomach, he groped his breasts, rutting up against Lance’s arse as he did

“Don’t... they’re tender”

“They’re heavy...”

“I... know... fuck... Keith... don’t... I don’t want them to leak”

Like the rest of Lance, his boobs had a mind of their own and would leak whether he wanted them to or not

“Don’t worry, love. I’m going to fuck you... but I might just take a bite out of you first”

“Just hurry up...”

“Nope... you did this for me, I’m going to enjoy it”

Meaning he was going to torture himself until he couldn’t hold back, then it wouldn’t be so embarrassing when he came as soon as he was inside Lance. He already wanted to come in his pants from how good his b-fiancé looked. His ego thoroughly approving of their mates choice in attire. He’d dropped his pants before they’d ended up in bed, Keith half wished he’d kept them on to keep himself in check... except that was all actually lie and he couldn’t wait

“I’m going to eat you out”

“Keith... I appreciate the thought, but I kind of need your dick up in my business right now...”

Keith had shocking self control. Pulling Lance into his lap, his boyfriend had prepped himself enough as he changed. The werewolf’s claws tearing through the lacy underwear with ease, shredded at the back to give him enough access. Holding Lance by the breasts, his fiancé held himself up enough for Keith to fuck him from beneath. Lance’s head lolled back onto his shoulder as Keith’s mind went all fuzzy. He loved the way Lance felt around him. He loved the way he moaned. He loved the way he rocked his hips without meaning to. With each thrust Lance’s breasts wobble, his stomach supported by his hands holding it, dick completely hidden by the swell. His mate was perfect. He was perfect and this was all just for him. Biting Lance’s shoulder, his orgasm came before Lance’s, riding out the waves of pleasure as deeply as he could get as the warmth of their kind of sex washed through him. With sloppy jerking thrusts, he finally brought Lance to orgasm, come splattering across the top of the bed as his boyfriend flopped back, panting hard.

Running his hands down, Lance shuddered as he placed them over his fiancé’s. Lance loved belly rubs, and he’d been somewhat neglectful with them. Completely debouched, Lance looked a mess. When he pursed his lips, Keith moved to kiss the corner of them

“I love you”

Lance hummed, blissed and foggy. Scent calming unfortunately

“Mmm... I love you, too... I can’t feel my legs”

“I don’t mind carrying you... you know, the best part about you being pregnant means I don’t have to pull out before I fuck you again”

Now he was a werewolf, he had a body that could keep up with Lance’s needs. His ego not sated... refractory period barely existed now. He’d literally only just stopped coming, and he was ready for the next round

“Keith...”

“Can you take another round?”

“Will you go gently on me?”

“Do you want me to go easy?”

“I want my fiancé to go a little crazy with me. I like it when you’re hungry for me”

“You’re going to pay for that one”

“Will you spank me?”

“No, but I might just take a chunk out of this arse of yours”

*

Baiting Keith had resulted in Keith losing control. His second orgasm not sating his werewolf, and Lance’s arse took the brunt of it. Both of them responded to each other’s aroused scent. Keith breaking the bed with how hard he thrust, Lance dickmatised into a whole other reality. He strongly felt they would have kept going had they not accidentally broken the leg on the bed.

Still. Sex with Keith felt amazing. He felt sexiest with his man’s hands on his body, knowing Keith was going absolutely crazy for him. Keith... who was now his fiancé. He kind of wasn’t hit by it until his words sank in. Embarrassment and self berating hitting as he changed. He hadn’t at all been romantic with his asking, and really hoped that Keith would let him ask him again in a much more romantic way. Still... fiancé’s sounded so good. Their lives had come together like puzzle pieces. Proposing felt right. He’d nearly fallen back to sleep until he realised what he was rambling about, but he didn’t regret letting his wish become vocal... he just wished he’d been more romantic and spoilt Keith rotten before hand... even if it’d happened in a kind of clumsy way that felt very them.

Thankfully their doing of the do happened during the day, so they didn’t have to worry about keeping their “neighbours” awake. As he thought about it, everything up until proposing seemed to take on a surreal feeling, as if it couldn’t possibly happened all on the same day. He did worry that he’d taken advantage of Keith when Keith was feeling low, then Keith had gone crazy for him and fucked away all his worries.

Insisting on carrying him to the shower, Keith helped him shower for the second time that day. Three showers in one day was something he wasn’t used to. It felt like a chore to wash Keith’s scent off his skin, but his ego was comforted by the smell of their sex in the air. His bo-fiancé’s pheromones as strong as his own, egos spurring on the passion. Touches sending warmth rushing through his body as if he could physically feel Keith’s love for him in a way that wasn’t simply him being drilled senseless.

Dressed by Keith, he troweled his hair off, pressing kisses to Lance’s forehead every few moments. He’d chosen his surprise for Keith so carefully that he wasn’t prepared for how little he’d feel sexy when he looked at himself in the mirror. When he’d come out the bathroom, he’d wondered if Keith might be disgusted by the sight of him, despite having trimmed as nicely as he could without being able to see beyond what the mirror showed.

“We should get some food”

Mentally groaning to himself, Lance wanted to blow off the food thing in favour of waiting until he’d healed. His legs felt ready to fall out their sockets, yet he knew he couldn’t. The twins needed every calorie they could get. They’d been stressed before, which was dangerous and he knew it. Still, going out didn’t seem fun. They’d have to fix the bed before they went to sleep, or Lance was in danger of sliding down the bed seeing it was his side the leg broke on

“What do you feel like eating?”

“You”

This time Lance groaned out loud. Keith had literally bitten his arse, as if he really did want to take a chunk out of it

“You already had me”

“Doesn’t mean I’ve had enough of you”

God. He needed to get Keith a training collar, or a cone of shame until his urges lessened. His ego was loving this attention. It’s diva side wanted to strut around and shout from the roof that Keith had not only agreed to marry him, he’d bent him into all kind of positions that pregnant people shouldn’t be bent into... and he’d loved it

“The twins need the calories. I need to fix my diet back up...”

From his crouched position on the floor, Keith stared up at him

“I’m sorry, I got carried away”

They both had. The shower was only tame because they both felt sheepish about breaking the bed when he was on his hands and knees with his stomach pressed against the blankets and his arse in the air. Really not a comfortable position, but it was great for Keith being able to thrust in as deeply as he could. His poor arse flooded with Keith’s seed, like he was trying to knock him up again. Hazarding a guess, he’d say Keith came twice as much as he did before. Though wolves went into heat every six months and bore one young, werewolves had seemed to evolve to spread their curse as far and wide as they could. Keith’s ego must still have felt out of whack as Keith had been human when he’d impregnated him.

Cupping Keith’s face, Lance smiled at him

“We both did, but with such a charming fiancé, me and my ego were swept away with how good of a mate you are”

The words had Keith smiling. Lance knew to praise them both because Keith’s ego would easier on his lover for it

“I lost my cool”

“It felt good. I haven’t... been feeling very... confident in my body. I know you know I haven’t. I really wanted to feel sexy”

“Babe, you are sexy. I know your body keeps changing, but I love you. It’s like what you were saying about people not being able to see the good...”

“I know. That’s why I don’t like to talk about it. I know how I’m being, and I wanted to change that line of thought, but then I get a look at myself and think how handsome you are... I’m overthinking things. We’d better get dinner out the way. I don’t know what it about holidays. Either you want to go out and do everything, or you just want to sleep like there’s no tomorrow. Fuck. You were supposed to call Shiro”

Keith turned his head to kiss Lance’s hand, before bunting into it for the head pats Lance knew he wanted

“Dinner first. Then, I’m calling Coran to send out a search party”

“I’m sure she’s okay...”

That Krolia hadn’t called Keith back was niggling at him. He had a very sneaking suspicion that she’d dropped everything to come up here, and that was why she wasn’t answering

“I still wished she’d check in. Maybe we should have put Pidge’s GPS on her?”

“Actually, I’m pretty sure if you call Pidge she can just use Krolia’s phone to track her down”

Keith’s eyes widened. Lance ashamed he hadn’t thought of that sooner... like two hours sooner... he estimated two hours had passed because though intense, neither of them lasted long mid-do

“I didn’t think of that... but if I did that, then the gremlin would know I’m worried”

“Dude, she’s your mum. You’re allowed to worry. I know how much you wanted to talk to her”

“I don’t even have to talk to her, I just want to know she’s safe”

“I know you do. I’ve been avoiding my phone all day. She might have tried to contact me”

“Where’d you leave it?”

“Bathroom”

“I’ll go look for it”

Lance was going to tell Keith not to bother, but his fiancé was desperate to hear anything he could from Krolia right now

“Okay. I’m going to grab some liners for my bra. You did a number on them”

Had Keith had a tail, Lance felt it’d be wagging. Not a hint of regret in the werewolf’s eyes. Yep. He definitely needed a come of shame for Keith, and maybe some oven mittens for the safety of his chest? Maybe he could even find some kind of chastity bra and keep Keith’s hands off his aching chest for the rest of the pregnancy? No. No... that was going too far. As much as he loathed that he was lactating, Keith did help to make him feel less self awkward about relieving the pressure. All he really should be worrying about was the fact nipple stimulation was known to bring on labour... and with how stimulated his chest had been, they were lucky he was going into labour right now.

“Okay. I’ll get your phone. You should get a jacket. It’ll be cold outside once the sun sets. We both know how cold you get”

“I wouldn’t object if you’d like to wrap me up like a cute vampire burrito and carry me around”

Keith raised an eyebrow at him, unimpressed

“You might not, but did you think about how I’m supposed to explain that to everyone?”

“Not my problem. Burritos don’t talk”

“Sweet. Now I know how to shut you up when you’re mad at me. Roll you in a blanket, call you a burrito, and bam! Argument over”

Rolling his eyes heaving, Lance had fallen into a flaw of his own making

“I hate that you’re right. Now, go check my phone and then we’ll go. We still need to fix the bed”

Keith snorted as his gaze flicked to the corner of the bed... God... the sex had been so good... so good he kind of felt he needed to confess

“Fuck it. It makes the room look better”

“And there goes our security deposit...”

“And there goes my desire not to fix it”

It didn’t matter that the restaurant was right down the road, both of them silently agreed upon driving. Keith helping Lance to the car, then climb in, Lance cursing his precious bronco for being so damn tall. Neither of them wanted to socialise, the plan to was to get dinner and go back to their room. People seemed too peoply for them to handle, and Lance could barely keep his eyes open. He knew he needed blood. A bit of blood would have boosted his healing, but being face down with Keith’s hands on his didn’t exactly give him a chance to feed.

When they got the restaurant, Lance insisted on going in with Keith. He didn’t care what he looked like. Mami would have been appalled at how underdressed he was... Still, it was a 15 minute wait for food, that was long and loud. That feeling of fear kicking in due his fatigue, Keith playing with his hair as they cuddled in the booth and waited until his name was called.

Keith all but lifted Lance back into the bronco, Lance didn’t like admitting he’d starting drifting off in public. The day had been so stupidly long, yet that was what you got when you’d been awake since dawn. Climbing into the drivers side, Keith nearly upended their precious food as he noticed Lance hadn’t done his belt up and his exhaustion made him forget he couldn’t do two things at once. It was cute. The vampire felt almost intoxicated by Keith’s love... and the fact that they could call each other “fiancé” made him all warm inside. Stuffing the food back in the bottom of the bag to prevent escape, Keith was even cuter still as he ruffled Lance’s hair

“Don’t worry, baby. We’ll be back at the hotel soon”

“Mmm... yeah. Back at the hotel with my fiancé... we need to grab the jack out the back of the car”

He deserved the weird look Keith gave him. His words tumbling out to be finished with a loud yawn

“I think I’m tireder than I thought, because I don’t get it”

Yawning again, Lance tried to do his belt but was too clumsy. Keith helping him out before he could get frustrated

“To jack the bed up... it can wait until tomorrow... food, sleep, you... that’s all I want”

“Sounds good to me”

“Good... your monster dick destroyed my arse... I really love your dick... and you...”

Keith snorted at him, ruffling his hair again

“Me and my monster dick love you too. You sexy vampire fiancé...”

With a content sigh, Lance let his eyes slide closed. Keith would always keep him safe and warm... His ego loved him so damn much... A life with Keith... yeah. Yeah, he wanted that... he wanted to spoon up in Keith’s arms and have slow sex. Not just going crazy for each other, but painfully slow sex with lots and lots of kisses and cuddles. Maybe Keith would suck him off? He wanted all of Keith he could have... he was so selfish... or maybe just a horny idiot

“Damn right I am... mmm... now I wanna fuck again... can we fuck later?”

“Let’s get you fed first, then we’ll see how things go?”

Whatever, he was too sleepy to care. He had the worlds best man all to himself

“Okay... I still really love you dick”

“I love your dick too...”

[coconutjelly]

Inspiration

Ohgodohgodohgodohgod.....I did a thing.

I haven’t written published fanfiction in like a decade. Side note - when did we stop having to give disclaimers? I feel like I’m cheating, somehow?

Not the point. I published on AO3. It’s just a cute little oneshot I’ve been sitting on for a while, and it’s live, and if anyone would like to read before I dive headfirst into my Geraskier K*nk Bingo card, it’s below the cut, or on AO3.

Now, if you’ll all excuse me...I’m gonna go sit in the corner with my anxiety tummy ache.

Rating: General Audiences Additional Tags: Inspired by a The Amazing Devil Song, Song: The Horror and the Wild (The Amazing Devil), Friendship, Protective Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia, Gen or Pre-Slash Summary:

Geralt doesn’t always know what inspires a particular piece of Jaskier’s music.

Some, of course, are obvious.

After another fight about Jaskier joining during a hunt leads to a new composition. Inspired by The Horror and The Wild, by The Amazing Devil.

Geralt doesn’t always know what inspires a particular piece of Jaskier’s music.

Some, of course, are obvious - ballads of Geralt’s own history, never more than half accurate, or odes to whichever fair lady had stolen Jaskier’s heart that month. He sings just as much of heartbreak, which would make sense, given how often he takes a new lover, except that he rarely seems torn up at the end of an affair.

Others though, are more abstract. Last season’s ballad about the frozen beast of the winter wastelands being bested by a golden sun, for example. For a man who hated the cold, Jaskier wrote a lot about snow and winter - probably, Geralt figured, because he hated the real thing so much, he wanted to romanticize it. 

Songs that don’t tell a story at all, with solemn lyrics of an ancient wood and wistful dreams of empty beaches, Geralt assumes those are poetic metaphors for...something. He never examines those close enough to puzzle it out; he gets enough wordplay from prophecies and sorcerers.

It seems that the young bardling is always composing something, and it doesn’t always result in a literal interpretation of events, or even of the world around him. Which brings them to this moment - Jaskier holding his pack, looking furious as Geralt mounts Roach, armed for battle.

“And just what am I supposed to do?” he rages.

“Make a stew. I’ll be hungry after the hunt. And be ready to run if it goes bad.”

“I will not!” 

“You will stay with the camp, and that is final.”

“You-you brute! You are not my keeper, Geralt of Rivia!”

“And yet, I keep you alive.”

“Oh, haha, save a man’s life a handful of times, and suddenly he can’t take care of himself.”

“You know that isn’t true,” Geralt sighs.

Jaskier softens visibly, looking touched. “You really mean that?”

Geralt grunts wordlessly, then, “You couldn’t take care of yourself before I found you.”

The discordant shriek of indignation that leaps out of Jaskier at that would ordinarily be enough to make him smile, but he’s too tired of having this same argument over and over. 

“You, my muse and wonder, would deny me inspiration?”

“You’ve written nothing yet from the last hunt you joined.”

“That,” Jaskier grits icily, “is not the point. I can’t control when the music speaks to me.”

Geralt is utterly done with this conversation. “Maybe you just can’t hear it,” he snipes, guiding Roach around at a canter in the direction the alderman had indicated. He shouts back over his shoulder, “Have you tried talking less?”

He tries not to hear the insults that Jaskier throws at him as he disappears between the trees.

-

It’s dark by the time Geralt returns with the head of his bounty, and he’s guided back to their campsite in part by the aroma of stew and in part by a melody unlike anything he's heard.

When he glimpses the bard at the edge of the clearing, Jaskier is playing his lute in a way Geralt has never before witnessed. He plays as though he must punish the elven-made instrument for a mortal offense, alternating between plucking the strings and slapping the flat of the wood like a drum. His notebook is open beside him, and Geralt can see a large smear of ink where Jaskier hadn’t let it dry before turning the page.

“Planning to murder another lute?” he asks casually.

Jaskier’s gaze slices to him with a vitriol that indicates the lute is not the victim he has in mind. 

“I’m writing a song about what an arse you are,” he spits.

“Won’t do much for the public image, will it?” he quips.

Geralt swears he can hear Jaskier rolling his eyes. “I’m an artist for a reason, a wordsmith of the highest caliber. The meaning will be hidden in metaphor and imagery.”

“So only you will know it means I’m an arse?”

Jaskier grumbles something that isn’t quite words but still manages to convey an unpleasant meaning.

“Would you kindly let me work out my emotions in my own way?” He turns away from Geralt, which unfortunately is also away from the fire. After a few moments, he turns back to his only light source and continues strumming, drumming, and scribbling. 

As Jaskier works, Geralt silently removes and cleans his armor and ensures his bedroll is prepared, before sitting in front of the fire to find steaming stew already waiting for him. He grunts his thanks as he takes his portion. He can feel the tension in the air, can smell the sullen rage still simmering in his companion. He has nothing constructive to say on the matter though, so he decides to let Jaskier speak when he’s ready. As anticipated, it doesn’t take long.

“I’m sorry for calling you a brute,” Jaskier says quietly. “And an arse.”

Geralt lifts an eyebrow. “And a pox-riddled horsefucker?” 

The bard at least has the good manners to wince and look abashed. “Heard that, did you?”

“Hm.”

“I’m sorry.”

Geralt shrugs, going back to his stew. “You say a lot of things you don’t mean.” He lets the silence fall, guessing correctly that Jaskier is not done expressing himself, and knowing that he will speak again when he is ready.

“I’ve always been hungry for adventure. That’s why I’ve been with you, to be free,” he says sulkily. “But you treat me like a child who can’t manage himself out in the woods. You flit about the Continent as you please, yet tell me I oughtn’t do the same.”

“I don’t flit; I’m not a bird,” Geralt huffs. He sets his elbows on his knees, looking contemplatively into the fire. 

Jaskier leans over to clasp a hand on the back of his neck, pressing their foreheads together, a gesture Geralt mirrors. It is a greeting of Witchers, and one Geralt taught him. It is the only intimacy they allow themselves, the only grounding touch on the Path. Jaskier stares him firmly in the eye as he says, “I am a man grown, Geralt. I know the dangers I’m facing.”

Geralt sighs, grinding his teeth and trying to keep in the words that might make Jaskier understand; the words that might finally send him away. Instead, he curls his fingers through the fine hairs at the base of Jaskier’s neck and presses his mouth to the young man’s forehead. It’s too harsh to call it a kiss. It isn’t passionate, nor is it chaste, but it is fiercely emotional and filled with frustration and concern.

He pulls back, still gripping Jaskier’s nape, and is both pleased and frightened to see the wide-eyed expression the unexpected gesture has earned. “I’ve walked the Path for five of your lifetimes,” he reminds the bardling. “You are a child, in this. Most humans would see what I see only in their nightmares. The Path is a parade of horrors.”

“I’m not afraid,” Jaskier whispers hoarsely. “I know I’m safe with you.”

Well that’s...that’s a new concept, entirely, and one for Geralt to Think About Later, but it’s exactly the point he’s been trying to make. “I can’t always do my job and protect you at the same time. Some hunts, I can’t afford the distraction. If I have to make a choice in an instant to protect you or to stop a beast from hurting more innocents…” He shakes his head, disgusted with himself.

“I know you’ll always protect the innocents first,” Jaskier assures him. “You’re a Witcher, it’s what you--”

But, “No, I won’t. Not if it’s you or them. Nor if it’s you or me.”

Geralt finally releases the other man, who weaves a bit on the spot, chewing his lower lip. "What if I learned to fight, to protect myself? You could teach me."

That does earn a frustrated chuckle. “You are a bold thing, I’ll give you that. Get some rest, little one. We make for the alderman at daybreak."

They bank down the fire and settle into their bedrolls after that. Geralt prepares to meditate, too exposed here in the woods to risk full sleep. 

“I’ll keep asking, you know,” Jaskier says into the dark. 

Geralt isn't sure if he means learning to fight or coming on a hunt. Either way, "Maybe in a few years, once you’ve got more of the wild in you.”

-

Jaskier’s new song debuts as a hit. The tavern’s patrons are all on their feet, stamping and clapping, roused by the passion and feral energy of the newest piece. As he predicted, not one member of the audience seems to realize it’s about Geralt being an arse. 

Geralt is positioned with the best view of the room, as always, so Jaskier has the best possible vantage point to stare him directly in the eye while singing some of the more pointed lyrics of the number.

He finally sees a spark of recognition in Geralt’s eye the third time through the chorus, and knows the message has at least been partially received.

He’s called up for no fewer than three encores before he is allowed to return to his seat across from Geralt and the cold ale he gratefully accepts from the stoic man.

“Your review?” he prompts, thirst sated. “Three words or less.”

Geralt tries to glare, but feels a bit of a smirk steal onto his cheek. “Old man?” he chides.

“Well, you know…” Jaskier looks down into his ale, then back up through his eyelashes in a way that Geralt knows he knows usually gets him forgiven. “Artistic license.”

Geralt doesn’t always know what inspires a particular piece of Jaskier’s music.

Some, of course, are obvious.