#Listen i dont think the number one post is that funny
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I posted 13,135 times in 2022
That's 8,323 more posts than 2021!
933 posts created (7%)
12,202 posts reblogged (93%)
Blogs I reblogged the most:
@dimdiamond
@annabelle--cane
@peribytes
@kip-can-fiddle
@lesbiankiliel
I tagged 1,114 of my posts in 2022
#tintin - 187 posts
#adventures of tintin - 131 posts
#haddotin - 78 posts
#the adventures of tintin - 52 posts
#captain haddock - 31 posts
#dragon age - 14 posts
#chang chong-chen - 13 posts
#aromantic - 13 posts
#dragon age inquisition - 10 posts
#thomson and thompson - 9 posts
Longest Tag: 140 characters
#they fail to kill haddock but he does get amnesia and is sent to a orphanage and he has no idea who he was besides from some heirloom he has
My Top Posts in 2022:
#5
Haddock only goes by captain or haddock because since he mostly lived in a working enviroment he is more used to the formality of those two. especially since you get pretty close to crewmates on a ship so it almost becomes informal and more friendly again. And he thinks that archibald makes him sound like an old fart and that archie makes him sound like a teenage hooligan
436 notes - Posted October 26, 2022
#4
build a bear hasnt made a sam bear even though they made a frodo bear becuase they are afraid of the bear hobbit love
580 notes - Posted October 23, 2022
#3
one uses they/them and the other one uses they/themp
664 notes - Posted March 25, 2022
#2
BASED PROFESSOR CALCULUS
1,179 notes - Posted February 19, 2022
My #1 post of 2022
just found out about the peguin classicâs cover generator
1,363 notes - Posted April 26, 2022
Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review â
#tumblr2022#year in review#my 2022 tumblr year in review#your tumblr year in review#Listen i dont think the number one post is that funny#happy for you guys tho
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haikaveh... save me haikaveh...
i KNOW it's been talked about to death but. the haikaveh research project. it literally haunts my mind. i cannot get over the implications. alhaitham going through his school life as someone that most people dont even really know about because he keeps to himself and doesn't socialize, with kaveh being the one exception to that, finding his way into his life as his Best Friend, and then leading to alhaithams one and only time he participated in a research topic. his bio says he only ever did ONE joint project!!! one!!! the one with kaveh his best friend and i think also his only friend at the time!!!! and then it ended in not only the project falling apart but also alhaithams only friendship. kavehs best friendship. they were each others closest person. they had no family around - alhaithams parents having died when he was young and his grandmother dying before he joined the akademiya, and kaveh's dad dying when he was young and his mom having moved to fontaine. like even if you dont look at it through a romantic lens it's still undeniable how important they were [and are] to each other..........
i'm getting off track but my point is very specifically for alhaitham, the one time he got close to someone, made a friend, even agreed to join one(1) group project ever, it ended in disaster. it led him into a fight so bad that his one and only friend said he regretted that friendship!!!! it was so bad alhaitham left the project and he and kaveh didnt speak for ages until they just happened to run into each other again at the tavern!!!!! like obviously it has to be incredibly awful for both of them but i just think how this probably had alhaitham in the cynical mindset that friendships and collaborations like that might just never work out for him because the one time he let someone into his life, it blew up on him and he was all alone again. even though alhaitham never seems to care much if people dont like him, that clearly cant still apply to someone he was exceptionally close to. like if he didnt care he woudlnt have been the one to take his name off the project and mutually not speak to kaveh...... kavehs words are the ones that hit the most significantly to alhaitham.......... kaveh is said/implied to have had at least some other friends while at school / people knew who he was, but not so much alhaitham. people didnt know him and the ones that did just knew he didnt socialize/he was not easy to get along with. he only had kaveh and then, for a while, he lost him too!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
#the number of times i have reread alhaitham character story 4 and kaveh character story 5. like. dont look at me. kfjsdklfh#on one hand im tempted to think alhaitham would have a fully cynical view of friendship#and be like USELESS NEVER AMOUNTS TO ANYTHING but. i kinda dont think he works like that#well i dont think he would think that either way now but#even in times of friendship breaking up w/kaveh like#alhaitham is very FACTS AND LOGIC and i feel like he would still like#idk. understand the objective value of human companionship. whether or not he feels it works for him#HOWEVER. jkdlhfsd he is also the one who in his other lore bits was like 'grandmother the other children are boring at school'#AT AGE SEVEN god he was probably such an unintentionally funny child. i love u alhaitham u are so neurodivergently coded#so idk i feel like he would have a period where hes like okay. i was alone before and clearly that was the right call bc my 1 friend is gon#even if he does well alone i cant even imagine like. kaveh mustve been a huge impact and difference in alhaithams life#humans need SOME level of socialization!! and kaveh was his.... aughhh god they literally also read as having a bad breakup!!!!!#queer coded TO ME!!!!!! friends to rivals/friends to lovers to enemies to it's complicated..................#but again even if u dont think of it in a romantic sense like it's still so much. they were and are so significant to each other.#their bond is so complex and oughghdhgh they make me go bonkers#i do not think of any other 2 genshin characters so intensely as i do them .what have they done to me. what the fuck.#im alone in my stupid little genshin pit endlessly babbling about these motherfuckers!!!!!!!#and i love them. also i like that one scene in i think cynos 2nd character quest where al and kav r in the library or w/e#and kavehs like wtf no way u dont small talk w/coworkers. and alhaithams like no i just happen 2 hear people but i do not engage#hes so real he likes to eavesdrop but he does NOT want to get involved!!!!!!!!!!!!#also that same scene where kaveh goes 'WTF looking thru these will take FOREVER!!!!' alhaitham: 'ill manage'#kaveh: >:( FINE ILL HELP YOU!!!! like ok he did not ask. silly.#and alhaitham teasing him right after all that. 'teach me to pretend u werent listening' '...' '...' '...' '...HEY STOP IGNORING ME' 'see.'#theyre so goofy. kaveh u walked right into that one. ily.#i love when i talk about characters and it's literally just me going 'wow remember when character x said this. remember when he did that.'#i just love repeating scenes and dialogue and lore over and over and over and offering nothing new to say about it JKFLDSHKLFH#sorry i love them SO much and im bad at drawing and bad at fanfic so i just have to ramble in text posts forever#i do have. a fanfic outlined for them. i am just scared to write it#nothing crazy deep or whatever but yknow. im in a bit of a Funk Right Now dont worry about it#i need a constant stream of alhaitham and kaveh content constantly injected directly into my brain.
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i dont know if there's even a ppop presence on tumblr but i do also want to promote ALAMAT, a 6-member idol boy group from the Philippines. Its members comprise of Taneo, Mo, Jao, Tomas, R-ji, and Alas. They debuted in 2021, and their creative direction centers on championing the Filipino identity and culture through their music.
sorry that ^ was a copypaste but it's a very useful and concise copypaste LOL but onto my own promo:
(note: also most of these videos have english subs!!)
(extra note bc this issue always pops up whenever locals encounter alamat: mo is always wearing black hairstyes bc he is blasian and not bc he is appropriating from black culture hdfjhdf)
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KASMALA, the inverted Tagalog word for "strong" (malakas), is the MV that really did numbers on social media iirc. The video direction focused on the "human zoo" in the St. Louis' World Fair of 1904 (which included Filipinos specifically Igorots), and a general theme of anti-Filipino racism by white people (who are represented as ominous figures literally dressed in all white)
personal opinion: the music video is great but i personally think they have better songs, music-wise. and i'm going to give you an example of that by introducing you to my ALL-TIME FAVORITE ALAMAT SONG!!!
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ILY ILY, a transliteration of "Ili-Ili Tulog Anay", incorporates the melody and lyrics of the Ilonggo lullaby it derives its title from. The MV and lyrics both work together to portray the experience of being an OFW/having an OFW parent. OFWs, or overseas Filipino workers, refer to Filipinos who go abroad in search of jobs that have better pay, so that they can remit money back to their families in the Philippines.
personal opinion: this is their best song THIS IS THEIR BEST SONG EVER OF ALL TIME and lyca gairanod is such a perfect singer for this. her ethereal crooning really gave me chills the first time i heard it UGH
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DAYANG, the term for the wife of a Datu, is one of their most earworming songs ever. It's a gorgeous love song and what I would recommend to newbies if they want to get into alamat <3
personal opinion: The MV is kinda ass because it's just a super long extended ad for DITO PH (in terms of story and also bc they really missed out on doing a vid that drew more on culture esp bc dayang is a historical noble title and they used tausug words and designs for the graphics an the dance itself already incorporated pangasik dance which is also from the tausug people LIKEEE?? they've always promoted other cultures of the philippines i know they can do it but because of CAPITALISM--). But the song bangs so severely, as a pop enjoyer this is peak pop for me.
OH I ALMOST FORGOT DAGUNDONG
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DAGUNDONG, a song basically recounting the colonial history of the Philippines from Spain to America, is just so fucking good you should watch/listen to it rn. There's EN subs don't worry you won't miss out on the context. This is colonial rage it's so satisfying I still remember where I was when they dropped this.
personal opinion: FOREVER OBSESSED WITH HOW THEY SAY "dahil puso mandirigma di papakutsa di papapugon" you guys have no idea how much i sing that line to myself sooo satisfying. Instant earworm this song i swear.
OK ONE LAST one last and i'm done. okay.
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MAHARANI, a Sanskrit term for the wife of a Maharaja (translated as "great queen"), heavily features singkil, a Maranao dance which uses bamboo poles like tinikling does. The song also uses SEAsian instruments like kanun, gamelan, and gangsa. Also BINI's Jhoanna plays one of the main characters here!!!
personal opinion: this is their most pop-sounding song, which i think is slightly carried by the video i'm sorryyy. it's catchy though!! and i looove the part somewhere halfway where alas starts his verse, singing it in a more spoken-word way
___
okay 5 songs is. probably enough. this post is already kinda long shdfjskdff but yeah. pls check them out if you can hehe <3
also ppop idols are just really funny. there's no concept of an idol image so they just tweet shit. alamat jao gave out his genshin UID after a fan tweeted about having co-oped with him in genshin, and then after that he started answering questions with the hashtag "#canceljao" making a lot of magiliws (alamat fans) confused, and then he posted a classic iphone notes apology like this đ
i'll do a bini version after this my girls deserve more international hype. they occupy a more girlcrush pop genre but they're just as chaotic as alamat if not even more đ there are entire THREADS on twitter of them just being hilarious jdhfkshgf i love them so much
thanks for reading <3
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Season 17 post restoration thoughts
Casually skipping 16 and going straight to 17 because lord knows I canât afford to lose anymore braincells. I genuinely enjoy this season so Iâm looking forward to the rewatch!
Ngl jumping straight from 15 to 17 really highlights how absurd this is like bro why is there gods and shit omg đ
The fates are racist- that explains a lot
Donut my sweet baby boy
You know as much as I hate time travel stories this works way better for a âlets reference and call back to as many previous arcs and seasons as possibleâ nostalgia trip than Restoration did
Okay while I personally prefer the take that Donut is fully aware of all the innuendos he makes and is doing it to be a little shit I do think it being unintentional is really funny considering the ace Donut thing
âYou have me all wrongâ âI doubt it.â Donut the master at not getting gaslit
Donut knows Washâs name is David- meaning Wash must have told all the reds and blues his real name
JESUS CHRIST DONT KILL JUNIOR
Felix is afraid of knives
Man I love it when Dr. Grey sounds like herself
We love insurance fraud
DONUT WASH TEAM UP MY BELOVED
Wash just silently shooting Donut again has me wheezing holy shit
The Wash and Carolina conflict is so freaking good man I love them
Man this season is just genuinely entertaining to watch despite everything- the way I wish we couldâve gotten this character writing with a better story
Oh whatâs that a way to reference back to all the freelancers that includes Wyoming and the triplets. The concepts are wild again.
Also itâs just genuinely hilarious
WASH SCREAMING INSIDE HIS HELMET
DELTA OMG I FORGOT HE WAS IN THIS SEASON
I need to find the ost for when Wash and Carolina reunite and sheâs saying how she trusts him and doesnât know why bro this music is so pretty
Seriously Iâm enjoying this as a nostalgia trip so much more than restoration
Oh I can feel my inner 15 year old desperately trying to take control of my body and send me down the carwash pipeline again holy shit- platonic or romantic. Theyâre good either way đ
OH GOD THE CABOOSE FEELS AGAIN THIS SHOULD BE ILLEGAL
Kai I love you with all my heart and soul but you do not disrespect Junior like that
STOP BEING MEAN TO DONUT HE IS DOING HIS BEST
Yes Caboose IS a genius and also my son
Kai messing with Tucker is glorious holy shit is that bit funny I love them
âTime is made of circlesâ what a nice, funny and succinct callback. Look at those concepts being wild.
Not Tucker dropping the âyour momâ bit on Doc AGSKHAKS
HELL YEAH DONUT YOU FUCKING TELL THEM THATS MY BABY BOI!!!
PINK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Wash might be a competitor with Church for number one Donut Stan
Or simulation headcanon: Church is projecting his liking of Donut onto Wash
Okay but Donut should be in the caves not under the pelican FR PEOPLE STOP FORGETTING ABOUT THE CAVES!!!
Laughs in Spanish
I love competent Caboose and Donut
âMy testicles send their regardsâ has no right being as badass as it is
Love a good Tucker moment- sure wish it wasnât just redoing his character development that never shouldâve been undone to begin with
OKAY BUT TUCKER AND DONUT MOMENT THO???? So good- canât believe Donut is the âangsty bitchâ
WASH AND CAROLINA AKDHAKBSKSHSKDHK
Love them talking about the AI like theyâre Carolinaâs siblings
Holy shit the voice acting between these two is so good
âIf heâs single thereâs no hope for any of usâ sargington nation rise
Sarcastic Donut my beloved
I said this last time but seeing Church impaled by a golf club, even if it is actually Genkins, is entirely unnecessary bro I donât wanna see that
THE LABYRINTH!!!
GOD CAROLINA VS CAROLINA AGAJSHKAH FROTHING AT THE MOUTH
Sarges vision is further proof that the correct ending for him is retirement
OKAY I STILL HATE THE LOPEZ VISION LISTEN I GET HE COMES BACK BUT ITS JUST IN POOR TASTE
âDonât say toodlesâ LOVE sassy Donut so much
DOC BADASS MOMENT LETS GO
GRIF SIBLINGS MY BELOVED
Grif enlisted reveal you will always be famous to me
I never actually thought about it too deeply before but now that I am holy shit do I love that detail itâs so good and actually reminds me of my own brother who enlisted for similar reasons and regrets it now- seriously Grif enlisting is so realistic, a lot of kids sadly think the military is the only thing that can give them structure and purpose. Itâs a great addition to the anti military themes of RvB
And yet- despite all these good red team moments- THEY FUCKING TURNED SIMMONS INTO A PENIS JOKE???? AND A BAD ONE AT THAT?????? COME ON S17 I THOUGHT YOU WERE BETTER THAN THIS THATS SOME S16 NONSENSE
TUCKER CANONICALLY HAS PANIC ATTACKS- the fact they kept his visions so vague is truly a CRIME
âStill got my penisâ âwhat-â GOD DAMN IT THAT ONE WAS ACTUALLY FUNNY COME ON I WAS TRYING TO MAKE A POINT EARLIER
AND WE DONT EVEN KNOW WHAT HAPPENED TO CABOOSE- honestly I know they probably didnât have this arc planned back then but they shouldâve used the labyrinth for Caboose to find closure in Churchâs death rather than the Time Machine nonsense in s15. I feel like that wouldâve been infinitely more interesting.
Carolina vs Carolina MY BELOVED HOLY SHIT I AM FROTHING AT THE MOUTH
OH FUCK THE FREELANCER TRAINING ROOM IM AKDHKAHSKSH THIS SHIT IS SO GOOD
GIGGLING KICKING MY FEET WE LOVE THE POWER OF FRIENDSHIP
Caboose gets it!!
GOD THE SLOW PIANO COVER OF BLOOD GULCH BLUES I CANT
AAAAAAAGGGGGGGHHHHHH
Man what nice fairly satisfying conclusions to everyoneâs arc- donât we love wild concepts.
Sure maybe itâs not anything super poetic or perfect like 13 but at least it makes sense
Hell Iâve even warmed up to Donut leaving! Bro deserves some him time and itâs not like he said it was permanent or anything⊠doesnât that just really hit you in the wild concept đ
You know what- this season is genuinely such a delight at times. Im thinking about adding it to my regular rewatch list along with 1-13 as just like a little bonus I can have at the end cause itâs just such fun. Glorified fanfiction! We love to see it- maybe Restoration sucking was a blessing in disguise cause it really gave me a new appreciation for 15 and 17 (but 17 especially). I probably wonât rewatch 15 as much cause being honest I donât really enjoy it in its entirety as much as 17 but itâs got good moments I love.
Now- I know the logical thing for me to do is go back and watch 16 and then Restoration but hereâs the thing⊠I donât want to.
I genuinely do not enjoy those seasons. I donât want to put myself through something thatâs just gonna make me angry and bitter just for the sake of giving commentary on them- not right now anyway. Maybe one day Iâll feel like being a bit salty and do it but thatâs just really not how I want to spend my time with my favorite show. Iâve already rewatched any clips from restoration that I cared to rewatch and I donât think any of my feelings on it are gonna change. And Iâve seen 16 enough times to know my feelings wonât change.
Now what I am considering doing is rewatching 1-13 for the 20th time (<- accurate number, Iâve kept count over the years) and continuing to do these thought posts cause theyâre good fun to do! So who knows whenever the time comes youâll probably have to deal with more of my insane ramblings đ
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my pedro almodĂłvar marathon. thoughts, feelings, tier list
or, i spent like 50 hours on this so i better get to post about it
well, i'd be lying if i said i set out to do this with any clear goals in mind. i sort of just wanted to watch movies. this year i set out to watch through a couple of directors entire works, but ran into complications or got bored. so anyway when i finished my term i decided id try a third time with my best friend pedro. i had watched five of his films already but was mostly unaware of other things he had made. on the 22nd of november i started with matador, then went on and in exactly a month i had watched all of his feature films yayyy
so this is how i ranked them on letterboxd and this is a tier list. this doesnt really sum up my thoughts though so im leaving a little review for each below the cut, in the order i watched them in this month hope someone cares :) thank you
matador (1986): ohhhhhh my god. absolutely unexpected how insane this movie made me. many people say its not very good, i dont think that's true. transgressive, erotic, camp, necrosexual, implicit faggot tension, beautiful costuming, insanely talented cast of so many characters sick in the head. watching this one first really hyped me up to keep at it and to close out the month i rewatched it the other day and though it was less surprising than the first time i watched it its maybe my favorite now :) it has structural flaws i suppose. but i love it
¿que he hecho yo para merecer esto? (1984): pretty funny! not bad at all, i remember enjoying it as i watched it, it just wasnt very memorable. i enjoy every performance by carmen maura, chus was stellar as always and forqué was really sweet in this one too, i liked it. i literally forgot half of the plot though. did anyone remember the telepathic child or the faked hitler diaries? i didnt until i looked it up.
la ley del deseo (1987) (rewatched): showed this one to my friend, god its iconic. some of my favorite chiques almodovar. so fun to watch and so silly even though its not quite a comedy. the fact that antonio is just called antonio in this one makes me unwarrantedly happy. MAURA THE WOMAN THAT YOU ARE!! very hot all around. i think i liked it better this time than the other two i had watched it.
pepi, luci, bom y otras chicas del montĂłn (1980): everyone talks about how sexually transgressive 80s almodovar is and i was like yeah whatever until i watched this one. straight up trilogy of trash shit. so beautiful. i wish every movie was like this. no one likes it but i adored it. erecciones generales will stay in my mind forever and i loved the musical numbers. and the piss, of course.
entre tinieblas (1983): also somewhat forgettable, though i watched it while pretty worried about something else so maybe i didnt give it the attention it deserved. its not a bad time but i wouldn't rewatch it. based on the premise you think it'd be better.
la flor de mi secreto (1995) (rewatched): OH GOD. until last month my favorite almodĂłvar, its been outdone but it still destroys me. its terribly underrated. i dont even know what i can say about it... marisa paredes is stunning at doing desperation. the boots, the scene at the protest, the initial meeting with ĂĄngel, the poem in the car, that moment in the hall. it's beautiful and breathtaking. lesbian film history, i promise.
todo sobre mi madre (1999): like, its good, but i dont get what people see in it that makes it so acclaimed. again paredes is great in this, but penélope is somewhat tame compared to what she does later, and this is the point in the list where i have to admit cecilia roth is not very good to me and all my compatriots start throwing rocks at me. listen i just wish she'd stop doing that stupid accent its so fucking bad cecilia sincerate seguro sos de villa crespo. anyway its fine if a bit weird about trans women, but hes always a hit or miss w that
ĂĄtame (1989): took a big break between the last one and this one for some reason. anyway, pretty funny, except it really drags in the middle. shouldnt have been that long, but victoria abril always slays and the last scene is wonderful.
tacones lejanos (1991): WOAHHHHH! really cool i liked it. i love a mother daughter thing especially this mother and this daughter. really fun doppelganger story and i love how it was told, i found it both melodramatic and subtle? miguel bosé makes a really pretty girl, this will inform my every subsequent rewatch of suspiria. big fan of his gender. dance number fucked obvs
kika (1993) (rewatch): ok, i know why people don't like this one, but its so silly... cmon. it sillay. once again incredible abril performance, the costuming my god.... her character makes the whole movie i wish i was her. lesbian rossy de palma was wonderful and every forqué performance is a delight. pedro getting hitchcockian with it to slightly trick the audience is a staple of his 90s filmography, fucks.
carne trémula (1997): the title made me think it would be better! there was barely any carne. i didn't really see the point of most of it tbh, though based on how the movie starts and ends there might be some spanish historical context that im missing that makes it more interesting. strangely reminiscing of the buenos aires affair to me, but puig is better. yeah it was just pretty boring.
laberinto de pasiones (1982): YAYYYYYY i had some trouble torrenting so i watched it really out of order this but its SO FUN. obviously in the same vein as pepi luci bom but i liked it slightly more just for how unnecessarily elaborate it was. the one major role i dont mind roth being in and im a big fan of antonios gay terrorist with an ultradeveloped sense of smell character and arias is really into his very silly character too â he works well in secreto as well, i wish hed been on more almodovares, i should finally watch camila. linĂ© was hilarious too. the problematic incest storyline was really funny to me sorryyyyy and i got a lot of gender out of the musical performances. hey can you believe that beautiful fag covered in blood is a franquista now. i can
hable con ella (2002): ehhhhhhh. some people really hate this one for the couple scenes i found most interesting, others love it for reasons i cant parse. its got parts that caught my attention a lot, but mostly it was eerie in an unenjoyable and uninteresting way and the backstories dragged on too long, especially grandinetti's. like i just don't care sorry. THE scene is quite disturbing though. i appreciated he decided to show rape in a more subtle light for once, it made it a lot more cruel and a lot more interesting.
la mala educaciĂłn (2004) (rewatch): sighhhh. i really wish i liked this one. its got so many elements i am into â the colours are obviously spectacular, the unreliable multiple narrations and the disassembled timelines are always enjoyable to me, the attempt at social commentary is appreciated, some scenes are stunning (fictional ignacios head split in half is unforgettable) but quite honestly the characterization is so bad it bores me. i liked it more the first time i watched it just because of how confused i was, once i wasnt it lost its magic. maybe the worst in what is considered the "somewhat autobiographical movies about directors" trilogy (i think there's four of them but we'll discuss that later) probably because the character of enrique is so bland. i know its more but it feels that you only spend like five minutes with him. ĂĄngel/juan's motivations for anything are so puzzling, ignacio is just a caricature at this point and probably the character with the most depth is berenguer, which is ironic, i guess
volver (2006): WAHHH. its hard to talk about it honestly. it was so unexpectedly beautiful. the acting is so on point â penĂ©lope cruz and that beautiful carmen maura comeback are self evident, but blanca portillo is also stellar. it was fascinating from minute one and i couldnt keep my eyes off it. its written with such care and love. i suppose the plot itself is nothing out of this world, but the way it is handled is explosive. i really adored it.
los abrazos rotos (2009): the fourth bastard on the self insert series! cmon, its way more about himself than la mala educación. anyway, its good at some points, not very in others. the strong point is obviously the relationship between mateo, judit and diego, their refusal to be tied as a family and their desire to be tied by love is reaaaally interesting. the scene at the sea... but penélope and her millionaire and her millionaires son do nothing interesting at any point, im afraid to say. sad! surprisingly not very memorable, even though i didnt dislike it as i watched it. like i remember i liked some things but if a couple weeks later i dont remember what they were its probably the movies fault
la piel que habito (2011): AUGHHH OK. fuck. THIS ONE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE GOOD. it wasnt it was really mid. when it started i was like oh is pedro trying out his hand at cronenberg and i was really excited because im SURE he can do cronenberg better than cronenberg but he didnt. it was worse. how are you giving your women less agency than that guy??? honestly probably the first ever film of his where this is a noticeable problem, though penélope in the last one should give us a hint. ughh it should have been good. im mad about that. no desire to question gender or power and the unchronological storytelling does nothing for me. BAD! if anything i recognized its sexual power for if banderas character was a woman i would be throwing up and convulsing on the floor. i hope vicente and his lesbian coworker had a beautiful romance i guess. i cant believe some people call this one one of the most controversial of his work....
los amantes pasajeros (2013): hm well everyone was like THIS is the bad one and i was like i bet you guys are just being mean but no yeah this is the bad one. its not funny and it drags on so long...i can usually defend the rape scenes in his movies, even in kika or hable con ella, but this one just sucks so bad. i was prepared to defend this movie but i cant. as soon as the movie started i was trying to guess where all the threads would connect, how all the characters would be linked and they mostly... weren't? also the reference to the gazpacho scene in mujeres made me groan out loud.
julieta (2016): well i dont really know what this was supposed to be....it feels on the surface it could have been really good but something about it felt so emotionless. it was an odd experience, watching it, because i expected to be moved by so many scenes and i never was. i dont know what the point of it was.
dolor y gloria (2019): ok yeah this one was sweet! didn't blow my mind or anything but it was very cleverly made...a really more beautiful way to do the childhood-as-movie thing than in mala educaciĂłn, i really enjoyed it. nostalgia bores me sometimes but i feel hes not being annoying about it. long live old man yaoi (and finally an argentinian actor i DONT hate...) and that beautiful beautiful cave and that mind gripping apartment bringing in the characteristic insane set design but in a new way...i had a good time
madres paralelas (2021): oh this could have been so good! it wasnt but honestly i dont remember exactly why i disliked it. i suppose i didnt connect to the characters and that it is a story that requires that to engage you â their motivations were really out of place and unlike other movies that bothered me. really interesting premise, didnt work out. im sad about it. could have been cool.
yeah so that's it i only realized while writing this that i forgot to rewatch mujeres but obvs that ones very good, proper classic, quote it every time i eat gazpacho and such. also extraña forma de vida is a snore i refuse to watch it again. i hope this works as a rec list for someone. and i am ready to be stoned by my wrong opinions by the rest of you
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throwing the ask back at you
What are your fav skill designs?
:D
HIII LAZ IM SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG HKGJHG <333
TL;DR - Canon Designs: Pain Thresh, Vis Cal+Concept, Authority, EMPATHY!!, Interfacing. Personal Designs: Echem, VOLITION!!!, Half Light, Shivers!
okay so if its for canon designs:
Pain Threshold is sick as hell. guy looks so fucking anguished, i LOVE the expression, stabbed through the ribcage OUGH talk about lung imagery!! emotional and physical pain :3
Visual Calculus? also sick as hell! Vizzy and Conceptualization share a spot actually because i love how they're both similar? both have the billowing smoke and the Square of Creation thing, thats so cool, they're matching! (they're in love for this i thinkâŠ)
Authority?? the way people draw the pointed laurel wreath on him?? SICK AS HELL. wish i could come up with an adequate design for him i LOVE how he looks hkjfh
I TOTALLY AGREE WITH YOU ON EMPATHY... RAUGH... the somber closed eyes, the branching wisps of his head to connect to others, the glow from his chest, his hands around his shoulders in a hug, I LOVE YOU EMPATHYYYYYY!!!!!
also love how Interfacing's arms are rendered (for all the motorics, the stark yellow on black is SO good, intellects and psyches are very muted, physiques are brighter, but motorics are brightest!! do you think its because the skills become more literal and tangible for physiques and motorics, compared to the thought-based intellect and psyche skills?) oough⊠so interestingâŠ
if it's for personal design, it may change as i design more of them! but for now:
small thing but i love that my Electrochemistry has 6 upper limbs and 9 lower limbs because haha funny number :] guy who's spaghetti. to me.
Volition⊠listen. listen. knights are my weakness. protectors? swords? cool armor? motherfucker i LOVE you. this art changed me irrevocably and is also the first thing i ever reblogged on this account. youre telling me this guy made a holy vow to harry and isn't knight-coded?? ough. im not normal about him!!! his armor needs cracks so he can move! if theres no cracks, if volition is too high and too rigid, then you cant do anything!! you'll die in that armor if you don't allow a little room for looseness, to let yourself have some temptation for good things that remind you life is worth living. if volition is too loose though, if you have too many cracks in your armor, if you give into too many vices, you're going to fall apart, you're going to get hurt, you're going to destroy yourself. BALANCE!! i love his morale counter in his throat slowly getting exposed as more cracks appear, it's so interesting, it's like a survival tactic, a cry for help. his eyes are dark hollows in his face, and his glowing eyes!! streets and sodium lights!!!!! did you know his eyebrows are also just cracks in his face? i always make sure to connect them to his eyes or the center crack, you can see in all my art of him. my favorite is when he's surprised, the eyebrow is a crack in the back of his crown so it looks like it's raised hfjkh... also i gave him a sword because he deserves it. ough i have so much to say about him. hes so interesting to meâŠ
i do love my Half Light, i haven't posted her yet tho! I WILL EVENTUALLY. SHE'S INTERESTING I LIKE HER!! he lives up to his name, i feel <3 i will expand on this whenever i finish up her design!
MY SHIVERS DESIGN IS REALLY FUN... her powerlines, i have ALWAYS seen her design as a figure inside her head? i dont know if anyone else has. but i like it for symbolism, she is so small but so big... just one of harry's 24 skills and yet encompasses ALL of revachol. a deity to revere her; a duty to protect her. in the hollow of her head, if you look up you can see all the stars above the skyline, and if you look down into her body you can see the night-lit streets of the city, the glowing lights of apartment windows, the expanse stretching farther than one would expect for the dimensions of her body. she doesn't have limbs attached to her body, though she has glowing arms that emerge from the ground or form from the winds. a hundred thousand luminous arms... shivers my darling...
okay so i have so many more favorites and i think ALL of them are so cool but I WILL STOP MYSELF HERE HKJF <3 thank you for asking lazarus i appreciate youuuuu!!! :D
#volta transmissions#oough this has been sitting in my drafts FOREVER HKJFH <33 THANK YOU FOR ASKING I LOVVEEEEEEE THE SKILLS!!!!!!#esprit: Lazarus
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2024 February Media Post Thingy : Featuring Movies Also
I've never really liked doing editing " do-overs". i think if this was like a normal year with no leaping ( As of starting this post a couple of minutes ago ( 4:51 PM ) , i only just learned that this year was a leap year? Just goes to show how little i pay attention..! But yea, on topic, on topic, i don't look back to edit these kind of thought pieces after i write them, it'd feel odd to do so, ,and january's post was a mile and a half to write , so, after finishing the Big Thing for this year, i'm starting the writing on this on the 28th so i dont have to finish it all in one sitting this time. I'm not sure when i'll drop or pick up on it, and its not like, done Live with the month, so the actual timeline of things won't be completely perfectly accurate, but anyways : the things covered here are in rough sequencial order, mostly focused around New Media i've tried this month, with an added blurb about anything ive revisited this year at the very end. I'll try to add a blurb about everything, but no guarentees. Also, i said i'd have more screenshots to share, but i forgot again. A significant number of games here were also on 3ds which i have no good way to get screenshots for. planning is hard This month was heavily characterized by the absolutely wonderful time i had for my birthday and the days surrounding it, because wow, am i in love with my boyfriend! after many, many months spent long distance, i'm extremely glad to say that the first few days of this month were absolutely heavenly, and i do absolutely "get" all the lovey dovey emotional stuff that surrounds it. While he was over, we got to watch a whole bunch of different movies and such, and most of the video game focus was directed towards one big game, being God Of War Ragnarok, which is an absolute behemoth of a triple a game and also one aattached to the very sentimental god of war that i've also shared with him in the past ( they're some of his favorite games of all time, and he's especially knowledge on Norse stuff, so it's cute to listen to him ramble about it whenever actual mythology stuff comes up. Its absolutely adorable the way his voice lights up..! ) So, you'd expect the first piece of media i got through this month would be God of War Ragnarok, after all the time i've spent hyping it up already, while it's still fresh in my mind as of typing, And i'm on a massive, sentimental tangent on it, But...! TRUMP VS ILLUMINATI < Least Romantic Movie I've Personally Made Out With Someone Over >
theres not all that much to say on this movie as the title'd show, actually, and, obviously, the movie's a complete joke, through and through ( the titular protagonist isn't even the real deal, he's just a clone of the guy who lives on mars for whatever reason as the last human alive (?) ); and it's so ameturishly put together that i'm almost certain the entire scripting process of it was put together by looking at the title of the movie and quipping in a discord call brainstorming for a couple of hours, but it's absolutely great for virgining couples beccause you'll want to watch the movie for a bit, a bit that's been going on for i want to say little over three quarters of a year, but then, when you actually get to watching, it, you'lll both decide unilaterally to make out sloppy style instead of watching the movie, wow!
by the way, most of the movie is just weird little stock models talking at each other for what i rememeber being 50 or so minutes. i dont tihnk this is a good movie buut i thought itd be funny to bring up because in a shirtless daze after watching it i had the mortifying realization that this shitty movie was gonna be on the top of my media diary if i chose to go through with it . so here it is ! ! ! CATS & DOGS < tulpa movie >
idk what to blurb about this movie i think its entertainment value comes from the varied" WHAT DOES THIS IMPLYYY " moments in the movie and how like
excessively silly it is im not sure if it was this movie in particular but i have a very specific anecdote of this movie as a child before my parents divorce where i was actually Forced to watch it for some reason with my dad and with an anecdote like that the only thing i can think to say about it is that i think i actually enjoyed it more then Wonka theres some puppetry with the cat villain in this movie thats actually pretty endearing actually. its a decently entertaining spy movie. DOCTOR STRANGE
not having a title for this one isnt like reverence or anything i still watched this with my boyfriend in our little place and it was very enjoyable, and, in particualr, this was actually the first movie i watched of this list that i actually wanted to seek out to watch, actually! i've never been an mcu guy ( And, if you expect my movie reviews to professionalize, with like, research on the actors anything, you're dead wrong, i think , also. i think when it comes to assosiating characters with their actors or whatever celebrity or director or whatever, i just. .dont do that. i can see why normal people do but i dont have that built into me. so if i refer to a character it'll be for their character. ) i think this is a good movie i think this is a neat movie i think this a very pretty movie and i like mister stranges arch alot and i think it was really well characterized and enjoyable and id watch this movie again sometime maybe. im not a live action head but i think this movie just looks cool and is well presented in general. i think as an asshole mister strange is very watchable which is unusal for me cus i wince whenever characters do a thing thats like regrettable like noooo dont do that like an autistic weirdo but that wasnt really a problem with me for this movie i think its cool how this prick gets grounded by the fantastical shit in the movie and i think his little mini arch over the movie really stands out as a good character piece. thats all i have to say about it as someone who doesnt super hero movie this movie movies really good and stands on its own. i think its cool. i think this is a very enjoyable movie. i think people should watch it if theyre on the fence on it beingg mcu bc i dont think its like thoose other movies at all. im repeating myself. w/e Alot of early febuaary is characterized by movies bc i want to make it clear that the main game i played in that arch of time was God of War, and there were very much Not Media things that were more pressing for my time. lol VIDEO GAMES!!!! VIDEOVERSE < Most Heartwarming Eboy Game >
the docism i picked for this game sounds demeaning but thhis game is absolutely worth i think everyones time and if theres a game from febuary i'd make as a general reccomendation to my friends, it'd be this one, i think! it's an absolutely heartwarming narrative about an early 2000s era internet community that's being shut down, and its very resonant to at least Me, as a wii u / 3ds era fan
though it kinda melds that kinda stuff with a more early internet aestetic , which i think the combo works Really Well in terms of like vibe alone. the game is very naked with how it presents an early internet community and id describe it as being like hypnospace outlaw but without you the player being in the seat of like an internet moderator. Like you can moderate in the game a little bit but it's much less of a focus compared to the being in a game community with your friend aspect
this games a very well executed narrative about this emmet guy ( in the image above this one, he's on the far left of the screen ) and playing it as the first non GOW game of the week was definitely a choice i made that made me kinda sappy and clingy ( since its very much about the internet anxiety of losing a bunch of friends you care about due to dumb internet social media crap, which feels pretty well timed with this whole tumblr drama going on. also, as someone in a long distance relationship, the romance thing in this game also is pretty relatable in parts )
idk! its a very short game. i played it on deck and it was a very short but sweet pair of game sessions. i think if u like what you see here i reccomend giving it a shot if you're looking for a visual novel . ithink it is cute. if you like cute things this game is for Cute PRINCESS REMEDY IN A WORLD OF HURT < cute em' up where nobody has to die ! >
i actually falsely appraised this as gameboy color style when its supposed to be dos evokative. i knew i was missing something.
this is a free top down shmup game from steam about a cute healer girl! the game has really cute writing and is about an hour long. i think the writing makes it worth giving a try if you have an afternoon! the final boss is litearlly a guy with Every Disease that also has a refrence to ff6, so me being charmed by this game was kind of a given. Oops! I think more people should look at this game! it's worth it !
also, since everyone in the world of hurt has some kind of injury for you to remedy, some of the ones that get picked out are pretty amusing, also. its usually structured around " heres the problem with me " dialogue and " thank goodness im better " dialogue. this game is also for the gays because u can marry whoever you want after the credits. Yay! SUPER MONKEY BALL 3D < worst game icon ive ever seen for a video game award >
the games just kind of mediocre and the only reason i downloaded it is bc it was on 3ds and i just want to point out the games icon is Just a low resolution picture of ai ais face on a white bg. i think thats funny but the games so easy that thats pretty much the only novelty you'll extract of it if youre a monkey ball fan. oops .
something like this ive spent longer trying to find this games home menu icon then thinking about the game after playing it sorry i dodnt think this game is worth that just kind of sad
MEGAMAN XTREME
no reverence for this either pretty much all the games thatre gonna be talked about thatre on 3ds were just me looking through hshop slightly interested in something to do while waiting for my bf to wake up for more gow
all i can really say is that this game is a gameboy demake of the x games thats just slightly worse and going in with that expectation is correct but also its just Really annoying sometimes is very much a game where the levels are short and easy and the boss fights are kind of choppily designed and difficult and i think finishing this game was kind of more of an act of stubbornness then anything. theres this one boss second to last from sigma thats just killing this boss that spams 4 nearly undodgable spammy fast projectiles while you're on two tiny platforms over death spikes and i think that kind of speaks for how much id reccomend this ( not at all ) i think this is the angriest ive been at a game in a bit actually remembering it . i think i said a funny misnomer about it but i dont remember. something about this contributing to why mega man fucking died or something. im realizing i didnt actually consume alot of good media this month took a break writing this on leap day and umm FIRE EMBLEM WARRIORS ( The 3ds version ) < POPCORN VIDEO GAME >
as someone whose never played a dynasty warriors type game this was actually a little less boring then i was expecting it ? you'd assume picking the switch or wii u version would be more ideal, but, as someone whose favorite console is the 3ds , and considering it'd take less time to download to my system, i ended up picking this version. it actually runs pretty well and my only real complaint is that the character i wanted to play as is thuroughly stuck into the post game ( Celica from FE echoes ).
functionally this is kind of just a game that exists to be a stim device while you're in like a voice call or something but at that its pretty good from what ive played. used minerva for most of it and it wasnt too hard but not especially annoying either. its okay. i never got to unlock celica though ( bummed out ) and its not bad at all for somemthing i pretty much only played to pass the time between when my BF was awake to watch me play god of war, which it succeeded at. ive played every FE naturally available on the 3ds. TOM AND JERRY WILL WONKA & THE CHOCOLATE FACTORY
huh what happened howd this happen
guh MARIO MAKER 3DS
game i actually owned legitimately that i forgot i did. technically since the games are going down in a month from now this is my way on reminicing on Maker in general , but i mostly just reflected back on itt as a cute wii u memory and that cute packet that comes boxed with the game. the 100 or so challenge levels in this are neat but not Especially special. kind of existed to pad out the games i've tried and finished this year so far to an even 15. its not bad or anything, it did remind me of a few interactions i didnt know about before. maybe sometime before maker 2 goes down ill finish making that super world i started on when the game was new... putting all my thoughts togetherrrrr GOD OF WAR RAGNAROK
Igod of war ragnarok is pretty cool. for context, im pretty sure the first game of the i wanna say ps4 " duo " of norse GOW games are the two video games that both started me on my ps4 journey recently and got me and my boyfriend together? which i think is very sweet its also very unexpected cus other then being a soft mythology nut i dont see how id get into these kinds of games naturally, considering i'm less genre savvy when it comes to i guess " modern-style " story focused 3d adventures. Considering i'm a nintendo head, these could count as some of the only super duper gamerhead games i've ever played? though i don't know if it means anything when i say that . i think this game definitely needs the groundwork of the first gow to stand up, but, thats not a bad thing, its a very well thought out start to end NARRATIVE, and its a really good one at that. lots of well thought out character interactions and setpieces,a friend of mine described it as a universal ride-style game , and , in terms of linearity, it kind of IS that, but in like the most postive way i can think of in terms of the kinds of games i play , this is probably the drop-dead most prettiest game i've ever looked at from start to finish ( When it comes to detail and realism, i mean. .i think its very pretty to just look at the environments n stuff ) god of war ragnarok is pretty cool. for context, im pretty sure the first game of the i wanna say ps4 " duo " of norse GOW games are the two video games that both started me on my ps4 journey recently and got me and my boyfriend together? which i think is very sweet its also very unexpected cus other then being a soft mythology nut i dont see how id get into these kinds of games naturally, considering i'm less genre savvy when it comes to i guess " modern-style " story focused 3d adventures. Considering i'm a nintendo head, these could count as some of the only super duper gamerhead games i've ever played? though i don't know if it means anything when i say that . i think this game definitely needs the groundwork of the first gow to stand up, but, thats not a bad thing, its a very well thought out start to end NARRATIVE, and its a really good one at that. lots of well thought out character interactions and setpieces,a friend of mine described it as a universal ride-style game , and , in terms of linearity, it kind of IS that, but in like the most postive way i can think of in terms of the kinds of games i play , this is probably the drop-dead most prettiest game i've ever looked at from start to finish ( When it comes to detail and realism, i mean. .i think its very pretty to just look at the environments n stuff ) ( I have screenshots of the game on my ps4, but as i'm a day late to uploading this in the first place, i'm too lazy to both fetch them with my capture card and upload them to an image sharing site, so here's a picture of Jalla, a cute cow critter you get to ride in the game thaat made me very happy . )
I've heard of games that take up entire segments of people's lives for months , and while i've played lots of " longer " games, gow despite being shorter then something like SMT 4 is definitely one of the first games i've played thats been defined like that to me. i dont wanna say too much on the plot because i think these games are worth playing back to back on their own merits, though for me the experience definitely was raised above by , you know, sharing it with the love of my life, haha. its very cute to listen to someone visibly light up when talking about a game and its definitely my boyfriends infectiousness for the game that motivated me to keep coming back to it and dig for all the little details, even if i play 3d games like this like a game's journalist.... but yea god of war is really good i dont want to spoil anything on it but even if you haavent played the past games but have a ps4 and an appreciation for storytelling, i'd definitely reccomend it. Surprisingly cozy, heartfelt story on parenting and war and lingering regret n junk. also i like mimir alot hes silly and brok theres alot of characters in this i like alot
if you know you know TERMINATOR 2
oh yea i watched terminator 2 also very gripping very cool top moms in media for sure i can see why this is a classic movie it abosluely rocks and i was technically present for the voice call where they watched the first movie but i wasnt paying attention to it at all whoops thats technically the last of the new media i did but i also tried out a pokemon X nuzlocke and i replayed king of cards which was really fun and i remembered how much i liked madam meeber
the nuzlocke was a disaster but i actually did do it so winner
im sure there was other stuff too but im tired of typing and i forgot CLICKING SEND!!!!!
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2022 is already over but i still want to make this post because i love you guys and you made this year more bearable, so...
dear followers...
you guys are what keeps me going. thank you so much for supporting me, liking my writing, and filling out every stupid form i post on impulse. thank you for always being patient and discussing your thoughts with me. thank you for choosing to stick with me of all people. i am so grateful for all of you and my time on tumblr!! tumblr is like an escape from reality for me and you guys make it so much fun <3
dear mutuals...
@cosmic-railwayxo - you fucking loser i think youre the best thing that happened to me all year (except guesung's abs). thank you so much for being my friend, for talking to me literally everyday, for giving me something to look forward to when im at uni and want to die. i love facetiming u, i love sending u reels, i love how we r literally bffs even if there are thousands of km between us. that much doesnt matter when we gossip or talk abt kpop men fs BAHAHAHA. anyways i could probably write an essay abt u and how much i love your colossal cock, but this is getting long so all im gna say is i love you.
@hwangyeonjun - rels my bae ur 97' liner smau is what gives me oxygen to breathe (on that note,, I NEED AN UPDATE). thank u for being my mutual and slaying with me even tho im a little insane. i love you!!
@hwajin - kATHY GIRL u were the one that had to listen to me scream about arisu and u literally wrote me a fic for him???? we r besties for life atp. we should write each other fics sometime again bcs that was sm fun. ure so hot and nice and ur hyunjin series slays. thank you for being my friend and always giving me the same energy back!! kisses for u
@hoshologies - moon omg we've known each other so long but it feels so short??? i hope ure slaying all ur days away bcs ure fucking amazing and u deserve it. once every month when it's a full moon i lay down on the grass and think abt how much i miss ur writing and u actually. hope we keep in touch in 2023, i love you bestieee
@jjkeverlast - lati thank u sm for being my friend!! i love talking to u about everything and nothing (read: the dilf from aib) and ure so kind honestly (when ure not stealing kento yamazaki from me BOOOO). i hope we interact a lot in 2023 and i wish you all good things this year!! you deserve it.
@jayzdaze - kay u queen. ur fics never dissappoint and ure so??? mature and cool i think of u as my older sister fr. im so happy to be ur moot and friend and i hope we remain close in 2023 as well. love you bae!
@jenoslutie - nabi i swear i followed u bcs ur name is the same as that girl from nevertheless HAJASJKAJKA but i fell in love with you and your sexy brain too. ur fics always deliver and i miss our convos sm :/ we should start talking more again!! either way im so happy to have you as a mutual and ily.
@kookiecrumb - ISA MY FIRST MUTUAL OMG!!! there's so much i want to say to you but i dont even know if i can put it into words. youre so amazing, talented and intelligent. i think you might be the most intellectual person i have ever met. i am never bored when we talk to each other, and i always leave our conversations in a happy mood. i love your passion for bts and i love your big sexy brain. i hope we stay friends forever.
@mingirn - mars idk abt u but im ur number one fan forever. like idc if we dont talk for a month, the moment i see mingirn on dash or in my ask i SQUEAL. i love you so so much and ure so funny and delusional (omg ure just like me) and im so happy we r moots. i would literally fight w armys for u. thats true love i'm telling u.
@neochan - sam ure like that mutual everyone is afraid of bcs theyre just so. cool. i love you so much and i love talking abt nct with u bcs ure the only one that gets my obsession with their cocks. thank you for being my mutual (and friend, i hope) and for blessing me with your fics!!
@planetdream - dreamie i swear to god you were the second blog i followed on here (i unfollowed the first so ure technically the first tho hihi) and i literally have flashbacks whenever i reread ur fics kskasksska. we've never talked like super much, but whenever we do i feel happy, and im glad that feeling hasnt faded throughout all those months. u will always hold a special place in my heart and im so glad to be ur friend!!
@shmooooo - isa u were literally my savior when i was in my cha eunwoo phase. like there is no one on tumblr that simps for that guy and im like??? hello wake up. thank you so much for talking to me about him and my fics, i appreciate you bae!!
@wuahae - cat i love you so so much!! ur writing is so alluring and beautiful, and your personality is too. i always have sm fun talking to u and whenever i see you on dash, i smile. we need to talk more bcs i NEED to hear your thoughts on every picture mingyu and hoshi post on instagram.
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ive been made aware that i have strong opinions on my personal ranking of percy jackson characters so im making a post about it. bc thats what we do here on tungle.hell. experiencing brain worms? spread the word. @garecc i invite you to include your own brain worms here
for those who may not know, which i expect is most of my followers here, Travis (garecc) and i go way back to the days of a trials of apollo discord server that has since crumbled under the weight of various discourse and does not exist at this time. so if anyone understands pjo brain rot, its him.
ONTO THE RANKING. ill be focusing on main characters bc if i include side characters we'll be here all day and Sally Jackson would be every character in this top 5.
1. Hazel Levesque. Deserves better in the eyes of fandom. Gained pretty good control over the mist within one book. Has a cool magic horse. Similar tragic backstory to Nico, but not sulking about it. No shame in sulking, but its cool to see someone go through bad shit and come out still feeling mostly okay.
2. Will Solace. Unfortunately for me, I haven't finished the trials of apollo series yet, so i dont know THAT much about Will as he's primarily a background character. But Apollo kids and medics both get my utmost respect and appreciation, always. and he's a little bit of a sarcastic little shit, but the kind where people dont get annoyed with you bc its almost always funny and lighthearted. i know from hearing people talk about tsats that he's also a Sad Boy (which is to be expected as a demigod, tragedy physically cannot leave you alone.), and im excited to read about someone with my personality go through a mental breakdown :D!
3. Frank Zhang. Listen to me. How can he not be this high up. I don't even know where to begin with this guy, he's so gods damned cool. He's just such a good character and a good dude too! I'd love to be his friend. What a sweetheart, iirc he was the only person at camp jupiter who wasnt freaked out by Nico? he's so nice. children of Ares/Mars are usually mean, and he's so nice. i love him so much. also his life force is connected to a chunk of wood, which is kinda neat. he's a legacy of poseidon. he's canadian. im pretty sure his first name is Westernized bc his grandma calls him Fai, my last name was westernized when my great grandparents came over so i sort of get it though not nearly to the same degree. I ALMOST FORGOT HE CAN SHAPESHIFT!!! DUDE what a cool guy. we gotta move on, i gotta cut myself off. give him more attention in your fan works
4. Nico di Angelo. obviously a fan favorite, but im talking canon Nico here. im not talking about an uwu soft emo boi. im talkin about a sarcastic, pessimistic, deeply insecure little dude. listen, im not gonna talk about the things i love about nico because its been said a million times. its nothing new. im just gonna say that i love reading about characters that go through awful awful trauma and still overcome and find joy on the other side.
5. Rachel Elizabeth Dare. so my impulse is to put Leo here bc i adored him when i first read HoO. and if i didnt really think about it, i wouldve put him. but... Rachel!! how can you not love her! a mortal lady who can see through the mist, she fought with a hairbrush, she's the liveliest and loveliest oracle of delphi camp halfblood has ever and will ever know, sheâs from money and hates it, she's an activist, an artist, way more helpful than the last oracle for sure. the mummy in the attic just left you to fend for yourself, Rachel will at least try to help you interpret what a prophecy means. she's blunt and talks a mile a minute, i love seeing my "flaws" represented positively in media.
honorable mentions: Leo Valdez of course, easily my number 6 spot. Apollo/Lester, we love seeing immense character development. Grover Underwood, probably the first time i ever had a definitive favorite character. Percy Jackson and Annabeth Chase, romance would be dead and we wouldnt have a series without them.
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Would I be friends with MHA characters?
OK I know no one cares abt my relationship with fictional characters so I'm posting this on my dump blog for funsies DONT JUDGE ME IM DELULU OK ok thank you things u should know abt me: I'm introverted and I wont start a conversation with some person I don't know also if you're looking at this STREAM ë§íìë©Ž by Kim Sung Jae it's so good ty and rest in peace CLASS 1-A (I'm going to follow seat number order and I'm only doing main characters)
Mina: 100% YES - MINAAA I just KNOW she listens to KPOP - the friend I share the most common interests with (kpop, dancing) - other than that, she's friends with everyone so why wouldn't she be mine? Tsuyu: tbh yeah - I know I said I was an introvert - I don't care - comfortable silence type friendship - She's jus like me fr - I just would OK? Iida: yes - I like people who look out for me so I'll be attracted to him anyways - Big brother yes Ochaco: YES - I love her sm SHES SO NICE - def will be treating her EVERYWHERE - We just get along idk I get her she gets me this is a beautiful AFAB between AFAB relationship Denki: uhmmm yes i think -Look he's nice and all but he's a man and I am wary of men so maybe not as best of friends compared to Mina -He's fun though so plus points for that I think he's pretty funny Kirishima: yeah tbh (2) - again big brother vibes - super helpful super cool - probably won't be around him for much because he's tagging along with Bakugo all the time though Jiro: yes! - super cool super awesome SUPER COOL AGAIN - she jus like me fr (2) - music taste chef's kiss
Tokoyami: no I think - man is too emo for me but I get the hype go and live your wonderful emo life my guy - I like dark shadow though so we might get along
Todoroki: yes>>? -He seems nice but we're both introverts so auhmm -just like Tsuyu friendship -We r both dumbasses when it comes to social cues Bakugo: HELL NO - NONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONO - SCARY - MEAN - MAN - I will cry Deku: yea :9 - nerd to nerd communication - we probably have so much in common aside from heroes - I just KNOW we'd be good friends Mineta: no - kys Momo: YES - TEA PARTIES - FANCY OUTFITS - SO NICE AND SMART - will lend me reviewers and notes and help me review bcs she's so - I love her
CLASS 1-B (if i can remember anyone other than monoma and kendo)
Kuroiro: tbh yeah - I feel like we get along idk - he's cute why not Kendo: yes!! - Super nice - my AFAB senses are tingling ok I just can't explain it Monoma: yes? idk - he told me that he wanted to have henchmen and I just tagged along idk - he's fun to watch
damn thats really it from 1-B
THE BIG THREE
Mirio: no - I know he's nice - I know he gets naked when he uses his quirk - I dont like naked men Nejire: yes - AFAB tingles again - she probably helped me around the school on my first day Tamaki: no - He wouldn't want to be friends with anyone - I'll leave him alone for his own sake
OTHER HERO ACADEMY STUDENTS
Shinso: no - He's pretty cool but idk I dont think he or I would strike a conversation with one another Mei: yes - I like her inventions I like her veryyy much - interesting to watch - entertaining
ok im tired now bye
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introduction !!!
hii !!!! my name is Violet. i am a really big fan of art & whatnot (basic). i have been taking on a little bit of a personal challenge 2 listen 2 at least one new album every day & ive been working on that challenge for about 1.5 years now !!! i looove talking about art and sharing my thoughts and 4 the past year or so i have been posting all my thoughts and media analysis and whatnot onto my Instagram story, but i have always wanted 2 start posting my thoughts somewhere that is more.... permanent, i guess? bc Instagram stories expire after 24 hours yk. anyways. i finally made a Tumblr blog !!!!! i am COMPLETELY new 2 Tumblr. so i apologize in advance if my blog is like informal or not very "good" quality by Tumblr standards or whatever else i will get better !!!
here is what u can expect from this page:
i am going to post music reviews/recommendations most likely, as well as film & literature & all of that stuff. whenever i see a piece of media that interests me enough 2 want 2 talk abt it im gonna use this blog 2 share my thoughts !!!!
i also am really interested in philosophy, i am only just now formally getting into it, but i have been thinking about that sort of stuff and asking questions like that 4ever. erm. i wouldnt call myself a philosopher bc that feels pretentious but i aspire 2 be a philosopher eventually. ill probably post abt that sort of stuff as well. i am also VERY interested in sociology, psychology, anthropology, political science... pretty much anything like that. i just love learning about things in general EVERYTHING is so fascinating 2 me but especially humanity.
i am a bit interested in politics as well !!!! i dont like to use any labels 4 my political ideas bc i feel like those can be limiting & contribute 2 close-mindedness but if i had 2 describe my alignment in any way i am probably pretty far-left. although i am completely open 2 hearing everyone's ideas!
i might also post about other things as well, im not sure yet !!!
some info abt me:
i am a girl, so, she/her pronouns ig !
i am 16 years old (well im 15 but i turn 16 in two weeks)
i am a member of the LGBTQ community
my handle on most social media sites is yourdadcosplay if u want 2 follow me anywhere else !!! (i dont do cosplay or anything~ when i was 13 i heard some guy on tiktok say the phrase "your dad cosplay" and i thought that combination of words was super funny so i made it into my username on instagram and then it just kind of stuck. and i use that on everything now. only reason i didnt use it 4 my tumblr is bc i didnt want ppl 2 think my blog was a cosplay blog or something idk)
my favorite music artists r: Black Country New Road, Kimya Dawson, Death Grips, Xiu Xiu, and Car Seat Headrest !!!!
my favorite album of all time is Ants From Up There and my favorite movie of all time is Everything Everywhere All at Once, both of those pieces came out in the year 2022.
my favorite book is the manga Goodnight Punpun by Inio Asano, and its actually the book that made me fall in love with literature.
im currently working on creating my own website!!! i dont know anything about HTML though, so it will be a long process.
i dont believe in astrology rlly but i am a Gemini.
my iq is 122 or something around that i dont remember the number i just remember im in the 93rd percentile
i am an INFP
boundaries:
i do try my absolute best to be open-minded and tolerant towards everyone's ideas and beliefs; even those which i disagree with. i actually encourage ppl who disagree with anything i say 2 challenge me or discuss/debate with me. that being said, if u r not willing 2 have a civil and open-minded discussion with me, and if ur only interest is arguing, then i will ask u 2 pls leave me alone. i love talking 2 ppl who have ideas different than my own, but i do not wish 2 engage in any immature internet beefs or anything of that sort.
pls, 4 the love of god, if u r the type of person who gets offended over every little thing; if u r more concerned with petty discourse & things that have no significance 2 any real-life problems; if u lack media literacy; or if u r otherwise just unintelligent, then PLEASE dont interact with my page.
i try my absolute best 2 be a good person. if i ever do anything that u find 2 be morally offensive (this is not just if i say something that makes u feel a bit of angst, but if i say something that u feel is actually problematic.) or if we r interacting directly & i make u uncomfortable, PLEASE TELL ME! i hate it when ppl have problems with me that could easily be resolved but they just dont tell me. it makes me anxious.
also, pls note:
just because i talk about a certain piece of media or art or literature on this blog does not necessarily mean that i agree with the ideas expressed in that blog or even that i like that piece. i try my best to think 4 myself and i do not take all of the ideas that r expressed 2 me as the absolute truth. just because i read any given book does not mean that i necessarily agree with its ideas; the same goes 4 all of the topics i discuss here.
as a large part of this blog is abt media discussion & whatnot, i want 2 say that i am absolutely open 2 any art. and i will not avoid any piece of media just because it is allegedly problematic.
most of this page is dedicated 2 sharing and discussing my ideas on various topics like art, philosophy, politics, and such. i dont think that im going 2 be posting or saying anything that is incredibly morally offensive or anything, and 2 be honest i dont even think my ideas r particularly radical or controversial, but, if there ever does come a time when i might have a potentially controversial idea, i wont hesitate 2 share it. im not going 2 censor myself or sugarcoat my beliefs on this blog just 2 avoid discourse.
all of that being said, this blog is not 2 be taken 100% seriously either. i will talk abt serious topics on here, but i like 2 laugh as well! u should not assume that anything i say is 100% serious or 100% satirical. that SHOULD be a given, but on my Instagram account, i have had a worrying amount of interactions with ppl who got mad at me 4 things bc they assumed i was serious when i wasnt or vice versa.
ok, that is all !!! thx 4 reading !!!
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4KINGDOMS RE-READ ADVENTURE part 6
it's been a while. i got back in hopes of finding motivation to keep editing the next chapter to post
Chapter 23: rei being dramatic about max part 154349605 (is there any other content in this entire fic, well yes when it's takao and kai instead)
rei just sounds like he's massively in love with max. already. the story has barely started
wheezed at giancarlo attempting to explain to rei what an answering machine is and rei is just I DONT CARE
this part where giancarlo finds max collapsed and all wet sounds familiar. tfw it's supposed to be rare or "impossible" for max to soak himself and he's already done it twice in this story. i want to think i wrote this in as a prelude to the latter because
He had multiple types of magic to become untouchable by water, too. Unless he really was being threatened by something, there was no way heâd become incapable of using any all of a sudden.
yes indeed! isn't it so!
Chapter 24: heterosexuality takes max to his bed
this one just casually starts off with max describing himself as "a lump of raw meat on a butcher's bench" i-- yes that's your life in my fics. nice that you noticed
so this is where max sees rei with mao and realises oh shit that hurts. oh shit i think i like him. and then he's like "Please, Goddess, if itâs like this, I donât want it" HAHA brutal. i like it. this chapter had several okay-sounding lines? looks like the curse of the previous batch that i read has been lifted because these aren't as bad. i did some minor editing for more dramatic effect tho lol
Chapter 25: takao finds out that kai, who doesn't know what friends are, has made a friend
i keep repeating takao talking about "cotton candy clouds" and i think it's not intentional but it makes it sound like he's constantly thinking about candy. let's say it's the kind of deal where if you repeat something enough (by accident) it becomes a motif
so takao has a dream about seiryuu that feels like it's trying to tell him something⊠hmm now what could that be. seiryuu is just a big ass snek floating on the sky in the dream.
gramps casually announces that takao and kai will do a fencing match together next week. it's pretty funny really how ryuunosuke in this story is somehow a mentor figure to both rei and kai. in very different ways but still
i feel like this sums up takao and kai's relationship:
I wanted to imagine that weâd spent a fairly good first week together, even if I hadn't exactly had a single decent conversation with Kai yet.
there's a bit about ralf finding out that takao's been talking to souichirou and takao is like yeah sorry! i won't lie to you again. [proceeds to constantly lie to him throughout the story] so clearly that didn't work out
Chapter 26: max lies in bed. that's it that's the chapter
it's the gay reimax stuff. again. i'll just say i like this passage:
I closed my eyes and lowered my head to place a cheek against my arm, listening to him talk without actually listening to a single word. His voice was like a brook, a delicate spring that I could have listened softly trickle down to my ear for hours on end. And then I thought of all the words said in his voice that would never be meant for me.
the max introspection really ramps up. his thoughts flow really well here, he's so aware of being a jealous little shit when really he's supposed to be happy that rei's got mao.
then judy comes over to his bed like i know you're sick and all but get a grip son. you're cringe
Chapter 27: did i already mention this fic is heavier on the reimax than i maybe realised?
i can't believe the chapter numbers are briefly almost even here. then max chapters just POOF! stop being a thing and he falls behind
anyway so rei is to olivier like. man i'm so fucking bored here that i may kill myself if you don't let me watch movies or whatever. and olivier says: no
actually. this just made me laugh out loud:
Olivierâs response was a nonchalant ânoâ and that I should either hone my calligraphy skills or learn to paint if I was so bored[âŠ]
"hmm, no! but have you considered: artâš"
AS DID THIS:
I now felt so sick from worry that the green tea Iâd had earlier was making its way back up my throat. I could only place my hopes on Giancarlo to stop Max from doing anything stupid.
Giancarlo did not stop Max from doing something stupid.
sooo max is a stupid gay idiot and comes to rei's place sick just to give him a DVD player. cute little detail also that rei charges all the devices with his magic (without realising it)
ah my favourite. when max realises that brushes in the west are human-sized
mao mentions the idea that she'd want to host a ball! ball mentioned! the BALL HAS BEEN DROPPED
max is embarrassed about feeling disgusted by having seen rei and mao together. rei is embarrassed about feeling disgusted by mao hinting at their wedding. they are a delightful disaster! there was exactly one takao chapter in here i'm sorry. for any readers out there. because someone evidently has read this? why
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It doesn't matter who made the post, it still enforces shitty gender stereotypes. (With "trans" in front of it.)
I don't have explicit context on why this Tiktok was made. I don't think it's trying to make the point that "it can be extremely dangerous for trans women to go out into the world not 'passing' completely" - That's true, but I dont think that was the videos goal. I think it's supposed to be a funny haha that you don't think too deeply about.
And yeah, while YOU PERSONALLY are of the mind you have it easier than trans women/fems, you do not speak for everyone. These personal anecdotes of "Oh, I have it easy compared to this group" can VERY EASILY balloon out into gross generalization. You may be able to throw on whatever and only worry about maybe getting called butchÂč- That is not the reality for a significant number of transmascs, including myself- Another trans guy living in the south. Transmascs and trans men do NOT have it easier than transfems and trans women, and I'm sorry if that wasn't your intention, but it does come across that way.
(ÂčButches also experience many Not Great things by virtue of being identified as butch, no matter their personal identity)
Individuals can have it easier/harder depending on race, class, disability status, location, and a million other factors- BUT AS GROUPS. There's not one subsect of trans people that have it easier than the rest. Not to mention huge overlaps we share in our experiences. And again, sorry if it wasn't your intention, but there's a large swath of transmascs who dismiss all of their own struggles as well as the struggles of fellow transmascs just to say "Oh well trans women have it worse, we should listen to them and not take up any space." WHICH SUCKS FOR EVERYONE. INCLUDING THE TRANS PEOPLE YOU'RE TRYING TO DEFER TO.
Not to mention NONE OF THIS IS EVEN THE POINT OF THE POST. The point is "Oh women take forever to get ready am I right fellas" and "Ugh men don't care about their appearance" are VERY OBVIOUS VERY ESTABLISHED STEREOTYPES. WHY ARE WE BEING WOKE ABOUT IT. I think this stereotyping is shit- and honestly I'm offended by the notion I can just put on men's clothes and suddenly people respect me. So many people AGAIN INCLUDING TRANSMASCS think that's how it works- FOR A VERY LARGE SWATH ITS NOT. I'm glad you are able to be yourself without that sort of pushback, that is wonderful, genuinely. But I think it's really dismissive to just say oh well I'm fine we should just let the trans women speak and only listen to them. (<- at least that's how it comes off to me.)
NOTE: Just because I'm saying transmascs can have it hard, that DOES NOT MEAN I think transfems have it easy. We're not opposites. Being trans can be very difficult for ANYONE. That's the point I'm trying to make. We are equals. If I don't make this extremely clear someone will say I think transfems ever face any problems ever. Also if this is disjointed, I just got off work. I'm not rewriting this.
[ID: two screenshots of text from a tiktok video. the first reads "trans femmes taking 2 hours 2 get ready vs." and the second reads "trans mascs throwing on their 'going out flannel'". end ID.]
this is just gender stereotypes with the word trans in front of them
#wont lie this pissed me off when i read it#genuinely its like whats the point of me being in the community#even if only tangentially#other people just like constantly dismissing transmascs#this isnt even particularly egregious!!#BUT ITS SUCH A WIDESPREAD MENTALITY#it pops up everywhere and balloons into transmascs have no problems ever#and theyre all whiny bitches who complain and need to sit down and shut up#so the GOOD transpeople can talk#hate when fellow transmascs do it the most. like come the fuck on.#grow a spine man. stop dragging everyone else through the mud for what?#brownie points???#because youre not helping transfems by doing that#youre just silencing half your siblings and making the rest fumble in confusion because now they need to have opinions#on something they might not know ANYTHING about#NOT TO MENTION.#transmasc and transfems are huge categories#and also not the only types of trans people#you can be both you can be neither you can be WHATEVER#weve shifted into okay now theres Trans Men and Trans Women and Girl Nonbinary and Boy Nonbinary#im in hell constantly
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tactless its a test ch. 2/3 thoughts!
hey sexy people i hope you enjoyed that chapter. I've literally been writing this since I posted the last one but took a month break bc I randomly decided i hated everything i had written! honestly did not think a canon rewrite would be so difficult but here we are! some things in this chapter i wanted to talk about;
-yes i know samantha is mean to nancy. but listen. coming from a sister, this is appropriate sister behavior. sam realizes that shes kinda bitch to nance but doesn't care bc she hurt steve. yes i know steve and nance hurt each other, but sam is partial to steve obvi. theyâll be better post stancy breakup, and become the badass girlboss duo we want them to be i swear. i am a nancy lover first and foremost.Â
- on that note i should mention i hate stancy. they are not good for each other
-yes i snuck rob in there for a sec. sorry not sorry, i had to write about the loml for a few paragraphs or i was gonna get separation anxiety before the st3 chapters.Â
-also i wasn't originally planning on revealing sams sexuality until the great coming out scene but i decided to change how i was gonna do it bc i think I'm gonna write st4 now too so I'm plotting.Â
-yes samanthaâs costume is magenta in rocky horror. i love that musical with my whole heart, so obvi sams go to costume was gonna be my own go to costume. also im not sure if it was ever mentioned but samantha is blonde.Â
-yes i had always planned the samantha scene. did i think about it after i changed sams name from scarlett... no... but honestly canon lesbian experience, and it was a brief enough scene that i decided it didn't matter. also you cant put a girl in a siouxsie sioux costume and not expect me to make her gay.
-dustin has a tiny crush on samantha bc i think its funny. sams style is not super common in hawkins and tiny twelve year old dustin is amazed.Â
-on that note, in my mind sams style is very new wave. think a more rocker debbie harry. while new wave may be a basic 80s style, it definitely wasnt as common in buttfuck nowhere indiana. on the same note, her hair is blonde as i mentioned, and she has the debbie harry log bob with messy wispy bangs, minus the dark underside, for sure (see the top and bottom right pics below). she can also have a little metal/rock influence on her style as a treat. here's some style inspo for my girlÂ
-however, sams music taste is not new wave at all, she is a rock girl through and through. she def loves led zep. youâll see her fav song in the st4 chapters teeheehee. but anyways she can dress new wave and listen to rock bc she can do whatever she wants and this is my fic. here's my spotify playlist for sam, tactless
-in the junkyard scene i picture sam in this cute little number, patterned jeans and leather jacket, everyone say thank you madonna. its more late 80s but i do whatever i want. also technically the real outfit is jorts but ignore that in my world its jeans.Â
-sam taught steve how to do his hair. its canon. they both definitely smell faintly of hairspray.
-on that note a little bit of a gay backstory for sam. if you notice, i make several references to 80s queer culture, and that is because i have a huge hyperfixation for it. as a queer person, it is so important to recognize what a queer elders have done for us and part of that is acknowledging queer culture. so yes, sam is kinda my love letter to 80s queer culture. with rocky horror, siouxsie sioux, bronski beat, and anything else i mention. in future chapters i will go back into how sam learned all of this, bc you dont just learn it living in a small town in the 80s. but shes also gonna get to have her queer mentor moment which i love, so get excited for that.Â
-sam has adopted max. she loves all the kids, but she is closets to max, will, mike, and eleven, as youll see in future chapters. shes fighting for the elmax friendship train. in this fic, steve is closest with dustin, lucas, and max as well. sam and steve love them all equally, but based on how close their friendship are thats how it it.Â
-hopper is a softie agenda. thats my dad for reals. some of my own fav fics have hopper as a father figure to steve, so i just had to add it. hopper has a huge spot in his heart for kids with shitty parents, and he wants to protect them all. and later in the chapter, joyce has her pseudo mom moment. i love fics where steve somehow ends up adopted into the byers-hopper household.Â
-the action scenes were definitely the hardest to write, and i rewrote all of them several times. the junkyard scene was similar to my og plan, but the billy fight at tunnels completely changed. originally i had no clue how i was gonna knock sam out, bc there was no way sheâd go to the tunnels if steve was passed out. her using a pocketknife is slightly unhinged, but tbh love that for her. unfortunately, the harringtons are destined to receive concussions.Â
-originally it was gonna be sam holding onto max in the tunnels, but i didnt wanna take away from steve, so i had a twin moment. you may think it takes away a part of steve and dustins friendship, but i dont think so, i think dustin is already obsessed with steves companionship.Â
-say goodbye to saint cecilias bc this is the last time weâll see it! good riddance i think!Â
-also sam was originally gonna help max get ready for the snowball, but i think her having her mom help is important, and el needs girl time so that happened instead. the snowball scene is so special to me, and has been since i first watched the season when it came out. els dress is so cute, and im pretty sure i heard somewhere that it was nancy who helped, which is why i added the shoes bit.Â
-also the timeline in this is fucked and i know. you mightve seen my timeline related mental breakdown, but in my defense it is seriously confusing no matter how many times ive seen the show. it starts to get fucked once they go with dustin to the cellar, like i know that technically its night when they go, and then railroad tracks scene and junkyard is the next day but in the show theyre also wearing the same clothes the the next day? making it two separate days made the flow weird so i chose to ignore it, even though i know it would mess up every other storyline going on, esp nance and jons, but whatever. so if its messed up at all in this fic my apologies. i had to study the season two fandom wiki page and make my own timeline.
those are my full thoughts on these chapters, hopefully i get my shit together and keep updating but im about to go to uni so weâll see! if i havent updated in awhile, feel free to come threaten me on insta/tiktok same user as here! ive written some stuff for the future chapters (rating might be going up) so that should keep me motivated. look forward to multiple s3 chapters, goodbye my lovelys!!!Â
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another rant haha
its been a long time since my last post and honestly im feeling so back to square one.. i think im just sick and tired of my body and everything around me. today's my birthday. i wore a dress and in the mirror i felt so gorgeous.. but not to the point where i actually loved myself. for the past 6 months ive constantly felt so lost and upset over everything. i wish to find myself. i turned 17 today and i was asked what my goal is as a 17 year old. i was silent. i knew what to say but i couldnt get the words out.
the truth is that im lost and i want to find myself. i want to love my body, my face, my personality, my skills, my hobbies. i was so ungrateful for who i used to be before i turned 16. i seriously felt like being a 16 year old is just the most confusing and easiest thing to get yourself lost in. i never participate in my hobbies anymore, i eat without listening to my body, i dont enjoy working out, and whenever i get the chance i find myself rotting in bed mindlessly scrolling. a lot of my birthday was spent with fake laughs because even though the situation was funny, i couldnt find the real happiness in it. the birthday blues are really hitting me right now.
to be honest i have no idea why im writing this, but i am. it needs to be out of my system.
im so sick of always having this lonely feeling inside of me. nothing is the same. i wish to be loved by someone else but im not willing to love myself first and its so fucked up. in 20 minutes my birthday is over and life goes back to normal. except this time im not letting it go back to the normal it has been for the last 6 fucking months. i want to learn, to love, to care, to try. i want to be myself again
i hope that after another 6 months ill be out of this mess. i hope ill be playing guitar in my room like i used to. i hope ill be sketching in my bed like i used to. i hope that when i study my trades ill actually my passionate about it like i used to. i hope that ill love my body. i hope that ill find love in myself. i hope that i find love in others. i hope i can be disciplined. i hope my life is filled with happiness and positivity.
17 sounds like a big number. i hope i can be bigger and do what i desire. i am strong i am powerful i am caring i am kind.
maybe theres someone else out there who feels the same way as me. about love and about losing yourself. i also wish that someone would compliment me on the street. i wish someone came and asked for my number. i wish i found out someone loved me. i wish that after one year, i will not find myself in the position again.
fuck 16. lets fucking go 17.
ps to my 16 year old self, u were once loved too.
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okay @thebrosky-is-taken im gonna give you the benefit of the doubt on 1. your reading comprehension skills and 2. your views of dream, which i can only assume are based on off-color memes you see about the guy because he is the internet's favorite punching bag.
point one: your reading comprehension. i want you to reread the initial post and see wherever the fuck i said dream is alt-right. you done? cool. what i Actually said is that dream is not, in fact alt-right, but i dont blame you for coming into reading this post with dream as a bad guy in your eyes and immediately seeing the words "alt-right" and coming to the conclusion that he's insanely conservative. thats a logical leap to make if you read every fifteen words in that post and ignore the rest of them, which, again, perfectly reasonable thing to do, especially if you then decide to reply to the post. not like the words i type and the order of them really contribute to the meaning of the post, or anything.
point two: dream is not alt-right. if you took the time to look at the things he does today, here and now, it would be very easy to realize that. this is a guy who has donated thousands of dollars to LGBT charities and tries to be as socially aware as possible. that's not to say he doesn't have a past where he wasn't like that. he's openly talked about being raised in a conservative environment where casual bigotry wasn't just the norm, but was the expectation and what was acceptable and funny. that's how the internet was back then. it wasn't good, it wasn't a safe space for so many people, but thats how it was. and dream broke out of all of that. he was told "hey man, this shit isnt cool" by many minorities, and instead of fighting them or doubling down, he took the time to listen, learn, and grow. we all have our skeletons in the closet, shit we believed years ago that makes us cringe now to think about. we are all capable of change, and past actions and beliefs shouldn't be ignored, but they're secondary to the present. dream clearly doesn't hold those conservative views anymore. he's expressed regret that he ever held them at all, but understands that they're a part of his past. he's mature about it, something i wish i would see more of from a lot of creators (and just people in general) on the internet.
to make my post clearer, since you're obviously not actually active in whats going on with dream: he's had multiple threats made on his life over the years, as well as threats on his friends and family, he's been doxxed relentlessly and harassed to no end, and a LOT of harassment comes from literal neo-nazis. this is not a term i use lightly. he is being harassed largely because he is an active progressive and positive force in a gaming space that leans heavily right-wing. he uplifts creators from a variety of minorities and is always learning, always growing, and making that the norm and expectation for creators and their viewers, something that actively threatens the alt-right's monopoly on gaming culture. he chooses kindness, even after he has been the face of one of the most disgusting harassment campaigns i've ever seen in my goddamn life.
TL;DR (since you couldn't be bothered to properly read my original post and so i have no reason to think you'll actually read this entire essay), dream isn't alt-right. he's not even racist. shockingly, he's a young man who grew up in the south, around conservative beliefs that were so normalized in his life that he fell into them by default. he's publicly unlearned these beliefs, and it's been messy at times, but ultimately he ends up on the side of tolerance and kindness, again and again, which makes him public enemy number one in the eyes of the alt-right.
i really hope you just had a misguided view of who dream is as a person, and maybe this gave you a little more context. there's always time to learn.
also reminder that this shit happens to dream because he threatens everything the alt-right pipeline has been building. he is wildly famous, accepting of everyone, and most important, proof that the alt-right pipeline is something that can be broken out of with just a little bit of empathy. choosing kindness and acceptance is an act of resistance in the face of the rampant conservative indoctrination throughout the online gaming environment choosing kindness is a hard choice to make but ultimately it is the right fucking one
#essay andy mode over here#also if i seem sarcastic or clipped or a bit rude ive had a long fucking day and am sick of bad faith takes.
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