#Listen anon I am a very big fan of all of these animals and removing stigma from them

[is-the-owl-video-cute]

I wish people weren’t so afraid of spiders and snakes to see them as inherently dangerous animals. As far as i can tell California doesn’t have any spider thats dangerous except to children (some recluses and widows including it seems the black widow and brown recluse. And yellow sac spiders which can have a nasty bite). Not to mention, a spider climbing on you in a flood is just trying to live. If you just stay calm and get to dryish land you can save them without much danger to yourselves.

California also doesn’t seem to have any venomous snakes except a sea snake and rattlers (ok there was a rear fanged colubrid but those cant even really envenomate unless its a feeding strike) None of which are species really known for going out of their way to hurt people.

Fleas are also not likely to be a major issue unless you have pets, except for potentially spreading illness. Human fleas aren’t all that common and the common species don’t actually like humans.

Anon I don’t know how to tell you this but fleas absolutely will bite humans if they’re hungry and low on their preferred host and a flood situation fits the bill for them to absolutely take more than a few opportunistic bites. And I hate to tell you this next part, but the Black Plague has been well documented as endemic to parts of california in the modern day. I’m sure it’s anywhere that fleas hang out really, but fleas are indeed a concern.

Also worth noting that in the case of phobias, the fear isn’t often rooted in a rational aspect or true presence of danger as much as it’s rooted in just psychological dread towards things that move different than humans and especially towards things that move different than humans very very quickly. Humans also tend to panic if any given animal is suddenly climbing on them. And humans make very poor decisions when panicked in an already stressful situation.

not to mention the fact that black widows and brown recluse spiders are absolutely capable of being threats to human health, and even if they’re really only fatal in children generally speaking, there are as a matter of fact statistically at least a few children in the flooded parts of california. And while your chances of encountering a flood rattlesnake or being bitten by a sea snake are low, they are never zero. Love and light.

[tundrainafrica]

Hey Sav! I hope you’re doing well! So I was rereading chapter 137 (wow, what an emotional chapter man), specifically Levi’s part when he kills Zeke, and I remembered a few theories about how Levi felt while he did the act and I’d like to know your opinion on this too since your analyses are always super objective and you always support them with facts which is a big plus (in short I really love your metas!!).

So I’ve seen many people say that Levi only killed Zeke to fulfill his promise to Erwin, and while I agree with that, I personally don’t think it was his main drive anymore. I’d say at this point he killed him to put a stop to the rumbling like Hange had predicted since he looks very done and very very broken (it’s really painful to watch ngl). So yeah, what do you think about this?

I also wanted to thank you so much for running this phenomenal blog, your analyses about Levihan and Hange and just anything at this point are so beautifully crafted they’re always such a joy to read! They helped me feel so much better and also feel more validated about how I see certain aspects of life, especially when I went through a harder time, so thank you so much for taking the time to feed us with such quality content (and fics too your fics are So Good dude you’re so talented!!) and for being such an incredible person!!! 🥰💗💗

Omg anon, Thank you so much for this ask and for your kind comments. 

Apologies for taking my sweet time. My laptop recently broke and I only got it to work just recently.  I’m happy to hear that you enjoy my fics and my metas. I got into a Levihan during a tumultous time in my life and I guess that’s why I like to explore both the fluffy and the angsty parts of the relationship and I tend to use it as some sort of means to explore a lot of themes in life because Levihan just has so much potential as a ship. I recognize that Yams just can’t turn his war anime to a romance so I do what I can to make some sweet sweet lemonade from the lemons Yam gives us.

So moving on to your question...

So I’ve seen many people say that Levi only killed Zeke to fulfill his promise to Erwin, and while I agree with that, I personally don’t think it was his main drive anymore. I’d say at this point he killed him to put a stop to the rumbling like Hange had predicted since he looks very done and very very broken (it’s really painful to watch ngl). So yeah, what do you think about this?

I feel like I have done a meta on this already  but whatever man, I’m just gonna word vomit again because that take just makes me hurl. Because I think it really does such a disservice to Levi’s character. Why are they reducing Levi to some vengeful mercenary? 

When? And here’s one thing I kept on pointing out.

Let’s compare this to one of the most iconic revenge arcs in Anime history: The Sasuke and Itachi arc. And low key, as a Naruto fan, I enjoyed Sasuke back when I was like 12 but rewatching Naruto recently, damn Sasuke was the epitome of revenge and hate.

And let’s think back to another more iconic vengeful person: Jet from Avatar. 

These are characters where a huge portion of their narrative was built on vengeance and I guess we can see similarities and Jet and Sasuke’s characters during their revenge arcs. 

But when I try to consider any similarities? When I try to think... is Levi the same way? And I try to look back at all the Levi scenes in Season 4... I can’t help but think...

WHERE. 

Literally, where in the whole show, did Levi imply at all that his whole point of existence was to take revenge on Monke. Literally, he was supporting Hange when they opened up Marley, he cooperated with Zeke to save Eren, he watched Zeke at the forest and calmly listened to Zeke’s confession on what happened at Ragako. 

Would Jet have been able to calmly listen to fire nation soldiers? Was Sasuke capable of talking to his brother WITHOUT trying to kill him? 

I’m sure you guys can come up with other trope-ey harbingers of revenge type of characters. These are the first two that just comes to mind as I write this. 

And if Levi really as vengeful as people are making him out to be...

WHY DIDN’T HE KILL ZEKE WHEN HE GOT THE CHANCE. Literally, Zeke was a pig ripe for the slaughter in the raid at Marley and back in the forest. 

Levi is strong as fuck and he had so many chances to kill Zeke. 

So really??? Where is everyone getting the crumbs they’re using the cheapen Levi’s very complex character??

And we saw him when he had to kill Zeke right? I mean this may be my shipping self talking but I am really more convinced that Levi decided to kill Zeke then because Hange guessed that that was the way to end the rumbling and before that, the reason why Levi was so calmly able to RESIST or just decide not to kill Zeke just yet was because Hange was still very much interested in the ideas Zeke was bringing the table. Hange could have very much been a reason Levi didn’t kill Zeke yet.

Actually you know what, I removed my shipping glasses already. The fact that Levi only brings up the option of killing Zeke again AFTER 126 where I suspected Hange talked to him about how to stop the rumbling, really convinced me that it was Hange that planted in him the idea of killing Zeke again. 

And it just so happened that conveniently, Levi got to hit two birds with one stone when he killed Zeke. 

But really? Did he look happy about it? :)

[twisted-lies]

hey, i’m the anon that sent in that ask thanks for answering! i removed some stuff in the end but i hope this works. i’d like a DR (1 2 3 V3) kin match up (please and thank you!).

im an open book! i often over share (which i might do in this ;^^) to people i newly meet. whenever i do this it ends up an embarrassing moment i can’t get out of my head, which causes me to overthink a lot. i actually have a fear of embarrassment, which has prevented me from living (the most extreme thing being i stopped going to school for a year). because of the year break, and some people seeing me as too eager to talk to them i don’t talk with anyone irl. online is where i meet and know the most people, i try to join servers to talk about common interests but most the time i get too embarrassed to speak and just end up watching others talk. in a private group chat or dms, i’m a lot more talkative and people see me as funny. i’ve been called an airhead, which id say is kind of accurate. i tend to over react a lot as well, and i get scared very easily. i also consider myself fairly loyal, i can easily tell if i like someone and ultimately will dedicate all my time and energy to them if they allow me to. in the past, no one in my family took me seriously. i was the second youngest, and most of them coddled me. of course when my younger sister came along most of the attention went to her, but because were close in age it kind of stopped suddenly. i wasn’t really taught about necessities like i should’ve been, and i had to learn a lot of things on my own. as a result im very clumsy at things like cooking or doing my own hair, but i also am constantly learning. self care means a lot to me, and i’m very understanding of people’s boundaries. i get easily attached to people, even falling in love easily. i find myself being kind of cruel to people i think pity me, it makes me intensely uncomfortable and reminds me of moments i would rather forget. for interests, i like anything interesting! (i wasn’t sure how to word this, but i hope you get the idea) I enjoy video games (no specific genre), taking care of animals, and i also enjoy shopping, especially for home decor. i get easily sucked up into apps like youtube and tik tok, with my attention span being all over the place. i also really enjoy anything with drama, which is more of a guilty pleasure of mine. arguments on shows are just very entertaining to me, with some of my favorite shows being the challenge or big brother. i also have a soft spot for romance or mystery anime. i could talk about those topics for a long time, because i find them to have many different aspects to them. many things in my life tend to clash, the best example being that it’s natural for me to be talkative and energetic, i have a fear of embarrassing myself which refrains me from being either of those things. i try to put my self first, but i always have the need to help people. for example, a neighborhood dog has gone missing so i’ve been looking for it. it didn’t affect my daily schedule much as i’m mostly outside anyways. i like the drama in shows, but i don’t like the people who cause drama for nothing. i live pretty relaxed, so none of those really bother me. i don’t really have a sleep schedule, i sleep when i want to and it usually works out. it’s easy to persuade me, as i’m pretty gullible, but if you lie to me about something it makes it kind of hard for me to trust you again. my grades are horrible, but i really don’t care enough and i might not pass. despite getting attached to people easily, i tend to be kind of picky with who i hang around. while i can’t help if i like someone, if i don’t like someone i can be kind of vocal about it. in the past i’ve had a persecution complex, i consider myself over it now but i’m not entirely sure. i get random bursts of interests in different kinds of stuff, but when they’re random like that they hardly stick. i enjoy wearing over sized clothes, mainly because it’s comfortable. i love animal themed products, it could be anything i just find it cute!

I kin assign you with...

Ibuki Mioda

Firstly I thought of Ibuki Mioda, Ibuki is pretty talkative and tends to sometimes not have a filter to what she says and could easily talk too much to the point of saying something embarrassing and definitely could be seen as eager to talk. She's definitely onenof the funny ones in the group and lightens the mood pretty easily when she needs too. She could also be seen as airheaded and gets distracted pretty eaisly. She also can tend to over react or get startled pretty easily seen from certain scenes throught the game. Ibuki is probably one of the more loyal ones you'll meet. She'll take all of her time and energy and put it into one or multiple people she likes or really cares about. She doesn't have a very good attention span and can easily get distracted. She seemed to have a liking for video games in the anime when Chiaki and all of them played together. Ibuki also seems like the person to spend a lot of time decorating to make sure it suits her well. She could also easily be interested in drama due to her quirky type of attitude and input her thoughts here and there out of impulse. Ibuki would probably try to take care of herseld but when she sees someone who needs help she quickly springs into action and could easily forget about her own needs momentarily. I'd say Ibuki could probably have random bursts of interests and try to learn a few thing from her classmates though can quickly loose interest.

Tenko Chabashira

Secondly I thought of Tenko Chabashira, Tenko can be pretty talkative when it comes to the females in her class and could even often over share on accident. Though she knows when to stop when she's accidentally messed up though sometimes she won't and will carry on. Tenko can definitely tend to easily over react and be kinda protective towards people. Like when the male students of her class try to interact with the female ones she gets overly protective and over reacts about it and often tends to call them out and call them "degenerate". Which could link into you being a little more agressive or cruel when people come to pity you and as for Tenko it's likely it could be out of embarrassment or bad memories. And she's definitely vocal if she doesn't like you very well. I'd say Tenko is definitely picky with who she's friends with and when she finds someone she adores she'll try and put all her time and energy into that person if they'll allow her, though she may go over board sometimes. Tenko can fall in love pretty easily depending on her outlook on you like she did with Himiko, she probably did feel some kind of romantic attraction to her if not a really deep platonic one even if Himiko didn't exactly feel the same at the time. She definitely tries to be helpful if she can and though it may be one sided based on gender she's still pretty helpful to them and would leap into action when she needs too. She'd most likely be the first one to stand up for something as well. Tenko may be one for drama too, though not if it's unnecessary ones which could easily aggravate her. She probably also loves to watch romance related things especially if its wlw. Tenko is definitely loyal to ones she holds close to her heart and would do just about anything for them to keep them happy and on their feet. Tenko would probably be outside a lot like you are and likes to be pretty active thanks to her ultimate.

Gundham Takana

Lastly I thought of Gundham Tanaka, Gundham can be pretty talkative when she chooses to be or if it's the right person like when he started to grow closer to Sonia. When he did he pretty much invested all of his time into her and probably let her hold and pet his little hamsters! And of course made sure she was doing alright. Gundham loves animals of course, just like you do. He can be pretty judgemental of who he spends his time with and doesn't like people to pity him and doesn't take it awfully well and could be little more cruel or aggressive towards that person. He probably doesn't like to be seen as weak either. Gundham probably likes to listen to and or watch drama related things! Though he may not participate in it or put his input in he's definitely a listener and keeps up with it. He also probably isn't a fan of unnecessary drama though. He may also have a tiiiny soft spot for romance related things. Probably animal related if I'm being honest here. He probably doesn't take embarrassment awfully well and tried to cover it up with his more bold attitude. He definitely cares about others feelings and would like to help if he could especially if it involves a missing animal even if he may not show he does care. He probably doesn't have a consistent sleep schedule and whenever he does fall asleep it just ends out working for him.

I hope you're satisfied with your results! This was definitely enough for me so it was no problem!

[13eyond13]

what do you think of an OOC in a character? Have you ever read/write some kind of OOC about B, L or any other character? And how do we know when a character acts like ooc and they're not themselves?

Hi anon! I think the main thing I care about in fan works is the characters seeming in-character, and I would be open to almost anything as long as I felt the characterization was good. Meaning even ships I don't normally care about or haven't considered before, or a fic where characters I normally like together don't like each other but it's portrayed well, or just an interesting exploration of the world where everyone feels like themselves and nothing is bothering me or seeming really out of place. I think at times characters seeming OOC actually is necessary for the story too, such as in AUs where they live completely different lives or go on wildly diverging paths from the canon one. I think people/characters are always solid mixes of nature AND nurture. So it makes sense that significantly changing something about them in these categories would lead to them having somewhat different values or behaviours or habits or personalities, too. I'm at the point now where I'm pretty picky and have strong ideas of the characters and lose interest quickly in fan works that don't match my own ideas of them in certain ways. But when I am newer to a series I am much more open to tons of different interpretations because I am still trying to get a grasp on the characters myself, and it is really helpful for forming my own takes.

I think it takes quite a while to develop a strong sense of accurate characterization for any cast of complex characters, and lots of trial and error with attempting to depict them yourself, and that the taking in of other people's opinions and analyses (even if you initially disagree with them) is really helpful for forming your own as well. I think it's good to take notice of the things that make you go "ahh yes that's exactly right!" And the things that make you go "this is really bugging me somehow." Both reactions are very useful for helping you articulate what your own idea of the character is and why that aspect of them is important for you in how they are portrayed. I like to listen to other fans who are my faves' harshest critics, or who seem to understand certain characters more intuitively than me and who care about them more than I do, too. Ideally I would want to portray even my least favourite characters in ways that would seem accurate to their biggest stans, I think. Revisiting canon is also a good idea if you are uncertain about a particular aspect of a character, or in a disagreement about it with someone else. Oftentimes when I see fans get into big disagreements over an aspect of a character I find it's usually because the trait or character motivation they are attached to is one they found relatable and/or interesting and/or comforting in the character, so someone trying to remove it from the character feels threatening or personally insulting to them. I see this happen a lot with L for example; some people really like to see him as shy and polite and mostly well-meaning, and some people as bold and arrogant and shady. It can be just as insightful for yourself as a person as it can be for the characters to take in a lot of these discussions and to examine your own reactions to them, sometimes uncomfortably so! 😅

I think it's worth considering people aren't always coming from the same version of the story with their interpretations of a character, either. Writing L based on how he came off to you in the Japanese dub of the anime might be different than how he came off in the English dub, or in the manga, and the translation of the manga would probably make a difference to how you see him as well. I've been in the DN fandom so long now that I can usually guess pretty accurately which version of the story someone took in just by how they portray him in a fic. I think it's helpful to specify which version(s) you are drawing from and to know which version(s) the other person is drawing from when taking in their portrayal, as well as to take in multiple versions so you have a broader and better understanding of the different canon depictions of the same personality too. I see it as something you can pick and choose the aspects of you like best and that feel most interesting or true to you about the character. So if you prefer one version more than the other you don't have to just do away with your preferred idea of the character after taking in another one if you would rather not. In the end it's all just for fun! I think the best thing to do is to always keep in mind that other fans having diverging interpretations isn't necessarily wrong, especially given that you maybe took in different versions of the story when forming your opinions. It doesn't invalidate your own personal take just because someone has a different one. But that being said, I am not a huge fan of people just hollowing out a character entirely to insert themselves in it with no self-awareness about this, or characterizing them super lazily and then getting offended if other fans don't think it's accurate, which I have seen around sometimes. Lazy characterization in this fandom seems especially prevalent when it comes to characters people dislike/don't understand. And to B in general I think, as most people don't even bother to read the novel at all before trying to use him in a fan work. I also get that sometimes fans are newer to the series or just playing around with canon the way you might have played dolls as a kid or whatever, though. And even though I am picky about characterization it's really not that big a deal to me when people do this, as long as they aren't trying to dictate everyone else's interpretations or acting like more canon-compliant ones are automatically fussy or worse somehow, too.

[feral-anarchy]

Drama with TDP... Again

Quick Edit:  I am NOT choosing sides. I am still open to any and all information. I am simply giving you a side of a story I believe plays some part in all of this. Do with it what you will.  I am going to continue doing what I have been doing since the beginning until more information presents itself. If Aaron is bad- He will be dead to me and I will advicate for his immediate removal within the prefession as well as protection for these girls. Justice. If the girls are lying- I will continue to support Wonderstorm and keep doing what im doing now without much change. 

If you come to me aggresively, I will not aknowledge you, I will block and move on. Though I will still answer questions and take in any information with an open mind and a calm tone.  Secondary Edit:  I realised some of my times were off and a helpful anon was able to present me with a more accurate timeline. Ive copy and pasted their message to me so that you can have the accurate times.  Please be aware of this before reading the post below. I will not edit my original post as I wish to keep the original content intact to avoid possible confusion.  “The story with the aaravos blog can't have happened last year in april. That would make it april 2018 and the dragon prince wasn't even released before october 2018. All of this happened this year. Dani left in June. Lulu left like a couple of months later. August or september? But anyways it's not true that they left wonderstorm a year ago. It's been merely a few months and Lulu's departure is super recent.“ Final Edit: After searching on Twitter, I have come across this image. Aaron has spoken about this when it originally came out and had this to say of it. (This is a private message to someone who then went on to make it public.) 

~~~~~~~~~~~ Original Post Below ~~~~~~~~~~~ I really do not want to give any more effort into this but I feel that I must post. Im unsure of how many this will reach but I believe you need to know something before you continue to blindly choose sides. 

Listen, at the end of the day you will choose your ‘side’ though I wish there was no need for sides. 

This drama that is appearing all over twitter is OLD NEWS. Danika and Lulu DO NOT and HAVE NOT worked at Wonderstorm since this all went down a year ago. 

Here is my take on all of this: 

A year ago, I believe it was April? There was a very popular blog called Ask-Aaravos-Anything. This blog was liked and followed by a lot of the fanbase.  Well, out of the blue there were accusations of AAA child luring, having NSFW material littering their blog and not taking into consideration the younger fans. 

Now, anyone who actually interacted with this blog knew all of that to be absolute lies. AAA was always very traight forward, took everything into consideration, repeatedly reminded us to be mindful of how we tag things and never had actual nsfw materials on their blog. 

At the time Danika was managing the tumblr tdp blog. Danika DMed AAA and was vile and aggressive in her messages, enough so that AAA deactivated shortly after.  You can still find some of the screenshots of the actual DMs as well as some DMs of AAA conversing with others about what happened and how they had felt about it and why they were deactivating.  Soon after AAA’s deactivation, we got news that Danika had been scolded for her actions (As the entire fanbase who knew what was going on got up in arms about it) and she suddenly, convenietly had ‘another better job oppertunity’ And shortly after that we began to hear of general workplace harassment and gaslighting and sexual harassment from Danika.

As you know, that brought everyone up in arms once again and there was discourse. Then her friend, Lulu popped up as well with the same talk of harassment and having to deal with a negative work enviroment. Being in this industry for one is absolutely grueling, its not for everyone. It can be as bad as being in the film industry with actual actors.

Eventually things simmered down and life moved on. 

Both Danika and Lulu have had an ENTIRE YEAR to talk about this, to continue pushing the issue, to continue speaking of these issues- they were fine speaking of it last year. Yet they remained quiet for all this time. 

Now, when season 3 is about to drop, when Netflix likes to cancel shows, at this critical moment- they suddenly both pop up again?  Neither of them work there anymore, this shouldnt be an issue for them anymore. Especially when they had ALL THIS TIME to talk of it. Yet they didnt. 

And in regards to Danika stating they already had season 3 ready long, long ago- I have been in this industry briefly and I know people who are still in it, thats not how these things work. I doubt they were done months and months ago and were just sitting around doing nothing. Animation takes time- I wont get into it but its a lot. 

Now listen.. As hard as it might be to swallow, we DO NOT know all the facts, only what we have been told by Danika and Lulu. And with Aaron refusing to make any statements or even acknowleding theres anything going on its hard to gather any real information- and we wont. We will not get anymore information, we will not get any more facts. 

Unless authorities are involved or someone brings in a hidden camera into the studio, we will never know what the actual truth is. If it comes out that the girls are right then I’ll eat a spreader bar. 

But I am going to continue supporting TDP and those who are part of this creation. (I dont care about Aaron, I care about the animators, voice actors, sketch artists, ect) I am going to continue posting content, continue writing fanfic, continue interacting with TDP related blogs. 

Because I find it VERY suspicious this crap pops back up right now when its been so silent for an entire year. 

If you couldn’t tell already, I already am wary of these girls because of what they did to AAA and the community at the time. 

I refuse to be a mindless follower, I will not take sides until there are actual FACTS presented.  I know this all sounds harsh, but I am wary of trusting anything spoken without proof. I have proof- just look it up, the old screenshots are still floating around.  Im a assault survivor too- I am in full support if this all comes out to be true- and Ill eat that spreader bar. 

I just thought I would put in my two cents and let you all know what originally went on, and why i am suspicious of this all flaring up again after being silent for so long.  I will not be speaking of this again, nor will I be posting another big post such as this. However I will answer any questions you may have on this topic.  Im not bashing on the girls, I am simply wary of believeing anything they say after what they did to AAA. 

[egregiousderp]

When we first met you were a good solid 5 on the intimidation scale but that's because I was very smol and intimidated by everything. And now you're a 0 because of the power of friendship and the passage of tiiiiime.

Listen. Everyone here needs to know that we met on livejournal, and we were both fourteen.

This is Saph, guys.

Saph started out as a Yu-Gi-Oh anon on my livejournal almost fifteen years ago. Both of us had parents informed of the dangers of meeting strangers online, so this was very much a secret. We’d chat online in my time between classes and for a few hours after school.

I was a smol, furious Goth/Metal Kid with no home internet access and a lot of feelings, about ten seconds away from expecting a fight out of everyone. She was an agoraphobic homeschooler who confused homonyms in ways that would get you ridiculed on some parts of the internet. Turns out we both liked a dubbed anime about playing children’s trading card games with souls on the line.

(She has come so far and I am so proud of her you have no idea. Ugh. Guys. She’s asked a person out and found a better job for herself in just the past month and I’m beside myself. Just-

/shakes friend bodily while shrieking)

I was coming out of going to a school where I had a total of one friend, and going back to a school where I’d had two friends, who were now gone back to another country. All of that after trying to fail a grade to prevent exactly that coming back.

Internet friends who started out as total strangers across the country who might be middle-aged men looking to kidnap you were not on my list of things I thought of as viable “real friends”.

And I freely admit I did not behave in nice ways.

I wasn’t mean to people who were nice to me, and Saph was and is a thoroughly harmless person. (Saph up here is literally the human version of Fluttershy. I swear. We have joked about this. It’s a thing.)

That said, I was a very different person.

I like to think me now would have a bit of patience to spend on fourteen-year-old me, but truthfully?

Quite possibly not.

Because Fourteen-year-old me was discovering gay people were a thing for the first time, after being raised in a conservative Christian home and did not have tactful questions because they had no idea how to parse a tactful question about that. And Fan fiction from this era was also a lot less accepting and tended to focus on same sex pairing as “shameful”. This was the era of hot yaois and getting sued for writing fic about the Vampire Lestat. It wasn’t a good time not to be a straight kid. Being gay was a point of drama or a point of a joke. And that was even before you took into account my background, which pretended these things didn’t exist. And good luck even trying to figure out what to call Asexuality if you were. (And we both are.)

Fourteen-year-old me had just gone through (very poor and uninformative) sex ed the year before and realized exactly what some of her childhood bullying experiences really were, and was still living in a culture where purity was the one thing a girl had to protect and the one thing everyone around her talked about as a “temptation.”

I’m not saying I deserved a 5 for actually being able to do anything killing or maiming or even remotely dangerous, but I was in a lot of emotional pain with next to no support or outlets and didn’t always handle it well even as a person who bottles.

I definitely hadn’t figured out how to channel it into making things, and I hadn’t started my writing rituals. I was living in a house where my parents literally removed my door growing up so I would hide in my closet under bunches of clothes and things because I was an introvert who had no idea I wasn’t being allowed to recharge because my family was that worried for me and I wasn’t talking to them.

I was definitely a lot less careful about not taking what I felt out on people who had nothing to do with it because I hadn’t yet figured out that just because a thing was true about a person, didn’t mean you should say it.

So YOU were probably safe, Saph, but when you met me? I definitely wasn’t nerfing myself to Zero by all the time, because quite frankly I didn’t think the people around me deserved it.

What I did do to merit not being totally harmless is probably not even as bad as some of the things people here, far older than I was, still do to one another.

But I still regret those things.

In a way, pointing out a person’s insecurities in public because you have a chip on your shoulder is harder to ignore than a stock hate phrase. Because it’s personal. Targeted and wrong.

I know WHY I did it.

Because if you have a person picking on you to try to get reputation points, or feel less empty and powerless in their own life, the worst thing you can do to them is shake their support group or make them look like a fool. Make them feel that powerlessness again. And if you’ve gone to school with the same people from first grade you tend to know or learn the pressure points a person has if you’re even slightly observant. You know who wants to be cool or wants to feel pretty or who worries about their grades. This is basic high school stuff.

If a person hates a thing you love, a bad thing you can do to them is to keep loving it. And a worse thing you can do is to work to make that thing everywhere they turn. If they really hate it.

(The best revenge I have ever had on the kids who threw my Thrawn books in the trash at age eight is just how big the Star Wars fandom is even now. Their children probably love and immerse these people in that thing. Some of them probably love it themselves. I never even had to lift a finger.)

Still. Things which are targeted with an aim to stop all future bullying possibilities are not nice things. And knowledge itself is a factor in intimidation.

Being from a small school filled with people with money while having none of your own, and being so low on the social totem pole that even the band kids picked on you and stole and wrecked your stuff over the course of years makes you think of things in terms of that kind of confrontation constantly.

Everything you do is going to be pointed out as wrong at some point to curry maximum social favor. Everything.

Which has one advantage: that eventually you learn to like the things you like because pretending otherwise will just get you mocked harder.

Not to look at things in terms of surviving that, or turning it around is something you have to really want to work on to ever get out of it.

And it means you have to work at it to the point where you don’t allow yourself to lift a finger to your worst enemy, but are aware that even softly saying “I would never hurt you” to people who live in guilt or insecurity is sometimes enough to scare them because they’re primed to be scared and already feel like they don’t really belong.

It’s…people. Just people.

And sometimes even bad people have folks who are loyal to them even when they’re kicked or exposed. Which makes the people they support ironically harder to shake off of you? I think those very quiet support people are the most worth admiring even when they stand against you.

Like…They have the social grace to blend in that I don’t, and that kind of complex moral code? The kind of person who holds the future prom queen’s sweater and looks away for teachers who might be coming while she kicks you in the ribs? The people who never raise a hand to you directly, but don’t stop what’s happening because they’re where they want to be.

I always wanted to crawl inside their heads and see just how that worked.

I couldn’t even be mad at them because I was so fascinated that they had the things I didn’t and still at any point could tumble.

You had to look at them the way you’d look at a perfectly skillful tightrope walker.

Sometimes just making eye contact at the right time with them counted as something intimidating because it shook that wire they walked whether you meant to or not.

Even just to be SEEN is intimidation, sometimes.

(And you and I are fairly shy people so I think we know that well.)

I don’t think I ever would have hurt you, Saph.

You were always kind to me. Whether I deserved being treated with kindness or not.

I won’t ever forget that.

And you of all people deserve never to have worried about anything.

[chickenfetus]

all moongan

thank you for asking falen tbh i love u sm and i love doing these 

omg is this ask for this ask meme i literally almost posted this along with the wrong ask fml

1: when you have cereal, do you have more milk than cereal or more cereal than milk?

more cereal than mik because.. i dont eat cereal with milk……… i love the crunch

2: do you like the feeling of cold air on your cheeks on a wintery day?

as someone who lives in a tropical country is that what its called idk we dont have seasons and it never gets lower than 25 degrees so yes that would be ideal

3: what random objects do you use to bookmark your books?

hrmmmmm… i just remember the page number?? or try to lmao if i dont remember i just skim through the pages and try to recognise where i left off

4: how do you take your coffee/tea?

with at least 2 packets of sugar tbh…. i dont drink coffee

5: are you self-conscious of your smile?

omg story time i went 2 get my braces removed and the dentist wanted to take pics so he was like “smile with your teeth!” and i was like ok! but then he kept saying i wasnt doing it right lmao… guess whos never smiled b4… (me) so he told me 2 practice my smile lol i didnt answer the qn but ya,,, i am probably

6: do you keep plants?

i used 2 be very against plants… now theyre okay i guess i dont rly keep any

7: do you name your plants?

refer 2 6

8: what artistic medium do you use to express your feelings?

art??? i havent drawn in awhile

9: do you like singing/humming to yourself?

no LOL

10: do you sleep on your back, side, or stomach?

on my side!!!! i cant sleep on my back bc i gotta hug smth.. and my stomach is out of the qn

11: what’s an inner joke you have with your friends?

🅱️… and .. same brainwaves…. poor mans ____…. this is all from the shady hq im so sorry my other pals

12: what’s your favorite planet?

the moon for no real reason

13: what’s something that made you smile today?

hMMm, watching astro and mx perform??? and just being shady with bell lmao

14: if you were to live with your best friend in an old flat in a big city, what would it look like?

this… question,,,..so im thinking of a bright place with white walls and translucent curtains so the light call fill the (living) room perfectly and everythings really ??? sunny and shit idk its warm… the floor’s made of (fake?) wood and theres a small kitchen bc i cant cook and idk if my friend would be able to lol.. theres 2 bed rooms both are painfully small but it works.. theres one other room with a closet for clothes… the bathroom is just a shower, sink and toilet… theres no washing machine rip and ?? thats about it poor mens life

i watchd the like we used mv again and i realized ...... that is literally where i got this imagery from thanks the rose i love a relatable band

15: go google a weird space fact and tell us what it is!

heres a fact (?) from me first: it rains diamonds on one planet ?? mecury maybe?? mars??? whomst.. this isnt even a fact its ,me trying to recall shit

ok real fact: There are thousands of other planets out there. sorry lads this website doesnt wanna have fun

16: what’s your favorite pasta dish?

is spaghetti bolognese a pasta dish

17: what color do you really want to dye your hair?

im chill with my current hair colour??? bc its brown sometimes idk shitty hair

18: tell us about something dumb/funny you did that has since gone down in history between you and your friends and is always brought up.

i asked my irl friends (group name: panic support group) and this is what they said

K: everything

E: when u were one hour late (i dont remember this happening but i do know im always late but never for an hour past me wyd)

19: do you keep a journal? what do you write/draw/ in it?

goDD i dont but i sure want to

20: what’s your favorite eye color?

this is strange but every eye colour is my favourite although ppl with two or more colours in their eyes are so cool

21: talk about your favorite bag, the one that’s been to hell and back with you and that you love to pieces.

its just my school bag lmao i got it 4 years ago and i take it everywhere even if the event is “small” and they ask us to bring “smaller bags” ill bring my big ass school bag anyway it looks like this (i dont have to but linking stuff is so fun)

22: are you a morning person?

technically.???its the holidays but i still manage to get up before 10 (most of the time) and … even if i have like 5 hours of sleep i manage to feel awake really easily????

23: what’s your favorite thing to do on lazy days where you have 0 obligations?

tf i just use my phone lmao this is what ive been doing for like a month now… i could watch every vlive i havent watched yet, i could make video compilations i could practice my art but… even though im out of school im still procrastinating.. legends only

24: is there someone out there you would trust with every single one of your secrets?

mmmm falens the closest to that

25: what’s the weirdest place you’ve ever broken into?

my classroom

26: what are the shoes you’ve had for forever and wear with every single outfit?

white converse??  i have 2 get new ones every like 2 years since theyre also my school shoes and break easily….. other than those i have my blueblack converse too (i dont wear them as much so theyre still in one piece)

27: what’s your favorite bubblegum flavor?

i dont eat bubblegum bc im always afraid ill swallow it and die and im p sure its illegal here

28: sunrise or sunset?

sunset but i dont look outside enough for either

29: what’s something really cute that one of your friends does and is totally endearing?

hm……… with jen its when she sends me asks on anon despite it being super obvious like im not a Fan when my friends send me asks on anon bc sometimes i cant tell and i get a sense of false hope but w/ jen its okay but i know its her

with bell its when they reply to my keyboard smashes with their own keyboard smashes lmao and when they just??//?? say smth cute abt their faves (lately its been sanha thank u sh)

30: think of it: have you ever been truly scared?

ya lmao when i have 2 sleep alone and its completely dark i have half a mind 2 believe some random supernatural being is out for me

31: what is your opinion of socks? do you like wearing weird socks? do you sleep with socks? do you confine yourself to white sock hell? really, just talk about socks.

hmM. socks are great i always wear them bc i wear shoes almost every time i go outside… i dont have any weird socks bc im Boring but i have 3 pkmn songs and 1 gudetama socks/.. bUT I DID buy my friend those socks with individual toe pockets… it was so funny when my other friend saw it she choked on her drink and almost spat it out. we laughed so hard we hit our heads against each other i love friendship.. i have 2 wear white socks for sch bc… aesthetic? god if i know lmao….. i only ever wear ankle socks bc….. socks any higher than that? cancelled.

32: tell us a story of something that happened to you after 3AM when you were with friends.

listen ive never stayed up later than like 1am ok maybe 2am??? but i was working on like a project that was due the next day for school with my groupmates (friends) so does that count lmao

33: what’s your fave pastry?

bread………. sugar donuts…….. i am Aware that thats not how u spell it but wtv

34: tell us about the stuffed animal you kept as a kid. what is it called? what does it look like? do you still keep it?

why does this ask so many qns in 1 qn……. i had a cat?? it had pink stripes and it didnt have a name bc i dont name my stuff… even my pokemon.. and yeah i still have it except its in a big dusty bag where all my other toys are kept

35: do you like stationary and pretty pens and so on? do you use them often?

i kinda have to use stationary for school so ya.. p often is correct… pretty pens??? i dont rly see the point whoopS!!! in exams u can only use black or blue so

36: which band’s sound would fit your mood right now?

im listening 2 day6 so like day6

37: do you like keeping your room messy or clean?

my room isnt even my room i just go there to sleep .. the place im always at is like a study area except its open?? so everyone can see me lol and . its not messy?? if u look at it from far but the shit on the desk and shelves are so fucking messy god i need to pack those

38: tell us about your pet peeves!

aLRIGHT LADS welcome 2 megans ted talk

(skip this if ur not fond of drama)

so something (refer to the song he said suits myday) happened with jae recently and ive seen fans trying to defend him by @ing him and saying that they love him which is fine - great even! but what i dont approve is how everyone’s basically forgotten about the whole matter because they had concerts so instead of @-ing him and asking him to explain himself, they tell him what a great concert it was which is also great bc their concerts are honestly amazing. basically my pet peeve is when ppl dismiss the problematic action of some people just bc they like them.

another thing is that there were some fans who started guilting others for wanting to drop day6 completely because of what jae did and in my opinion i think it is totally cool to want to drop a group if they did smth bad like??? its ur life???? u can choose who you want to like. what is not cool is pulling out all the good things the person has ever done in their entire life and try to remind others about the positive sides of the person. yes. they’re an encouraging person, etc. but that does not cancel out the bad things they’ve done until they explain/apologise. what is infuriating is just the manner some people took it?? they literally went ahead and tweeted shit like “would your parents drop you if you did smth wrong?” and “you’re seriously gonna drop someone whos been nothing been nice because of one incident?” yes. people will and you dont have any fucking right to stop them? so dont go pulling out receipts.

another thing. its also okay to want to stan the whole group even if someone has done smth problematic. like? to me youre cool if youre able to see and acknowledge the bad shit someone has done and still stand by their side while educating them at the same time its nice to have faith in your idols. however, i wont say much when your idols dont respond and/or respond in a way that shows absolutely no remorse. its cool if you want to support them too, despite that.

tldr; dont fucking excuse someone’s behaviour/action just because youre so far up their fucking ass. dont pull out shit from before either, be it good or bad. and lastly, its okay to want to drop/continue supporting them, its your life.

i just wanted to talk about this tbh,, it was nice to see a few mydays trying to urge jae to explain the whole situation but seeing as he still hasnt and couldve it really irks me :-/

okay update its been a day and i havent really thought about this but im kinda conflicted now bc jae still hasnt talked about the song and im probably just making a big deal out of smth that will never happen again but it really doesnt sit right with me knowing that jae recommended that song to his fans and said it suited mydays?? bc looking at the lyrics... i SURE hope not... idk i have neither forgiven or forgotten but he’s okay now.? i cant stay mad at someone for that long anyway ill never forgive him 4 it though lmao petty ppl only

another thing... jae’s still an amazing person to me with all the encouraging words he says to mydays but this one incident is just soOOOOO hrm and i did go off tangent with the question as usual lol

39: what color do you wear the most?

i wear a lot of colours tbh??? but bc its rly hot out ive just been wearing the same shirt every time i leave the house and its black so

40: think of a piece of jewelry you own: what’s it’s story? does it have any meaning to you?

i dont wear jewelry rip

41: what’s the last book you remember really, really loving?

challenger deep

42: do you have a favorite coffee shop? describe it!

hm,, ive only ever visited this coffee shop like more than once bc the girl i used 2 like showed it to me b4 like 2 years ago and it was nice i liked their mocha frappe and its cozy i guess??? sometimes i go there with friends to study/just eat but i havent gone in awhile.., its two stories and it has an open air sitting area too i prefer sitting inside bc the sun is a big no thanks.. the ceiling is kind of like?? going downward?? like the kind iin attics???? idk man it was nice

43: who was the last person you gazed at the stars with?

u cant see shit here sorry

44: when was the last time you remember feeling completely serene and at peace with everything?

cant relate

45: do you trust your instincts a lot?

yea?? sometimes i just gotta bc my brain wont shut the fuck up

46: tell us the worst pun you can think of.

suddenly all of the puns i know have left my mind thanks @ me

47: what food do you think should be banned from the universe?

vegetables

48: what was your biggest fear as a kid? is it the same today?

the dark and whats basically in it???? like ghosts zombies and shit u kno the scary shit

49: do you like buying CDs and records? what was the last one you bought?

i like buying albums?? theres a CD in those so it counts lmao i bought sunrise by day6

50: what’s an odd thing you collect?

boxes??? like containers????

51: think of a person. what song do you associate with them?

boxy and letting go by day6

52: what are your favorite memes of the year so far?

YOU KNOW I HAD TO DO IT TO THEM and oh worm

53: have you ever watched the rocky horror picture show? heathers? beetlejuice? pulp fiction? what do you think of them?

me: rocky.. ?????? from astro.. /?? no ive never heard of any of those and i saw the word horror so u wont hear abt those from me any time soon

54: who’s the last person you saw with a true look of sadness on their face?

i literally havent been outside for 2 days

55: what’s the most dramatic thing you’ve ever done to prove a point?

be petty aka yesterday i changed my twitter icon from jae 2 brian bc jae’s being a child rn so hes out

56: what are some things you find endearing in people?

when they ramble abt smth they like thanksk buds

57: go listen to bohemian rhapsody. how did it make you feel? did you dramatically reenact the lyrics?

is this the song from p!atd i have it in my playlist lmao oh i fucing hate this song i always skip it im not listening

58: who’s the wine mom and who’s the vodka aunt in your group of friends? why?

idk what either of those are but bell and boxy

59: what’s your favorite myth?

idk any

60: do you like poetry? what are some of your faves?

anything that eunwoo has ever written

61: what’s the stupidest gift you’ve ever given? the stupidest one you’ve ever received?

ive given eggs for karissa’s birthday b4 and i got a kermit its not stupid tho its just the closest thign i could think of

62: do you drink juice in the morning? which kind?

i drink water juice everyday every minute every hour

63: are you fussy about your books and music? do you keep them meticulously organized or kinda leave them be?

my books are all in shelves lads i just  heard the fucking keys rattle im not doing this shit im logging off night

ok day 3 and im back like i said previously my books are on shelves i tried rearranging them by series b4 but my housekeeper rearrnaged them randomly the next day so i gave up

i make playlists for songs that i like, really like (i still skip them sometimes rip) and songs that my friend recommends me i have a seperate playlist for the songs i like in japanese 2

64: what color is the sky where you are right now?

light blue?? like its actually p white bc its cloudy

65: is there anyone you haven’t seen in a long time who you’d love to hang out with?

m not rly

66: what would your ideal flower crown look like?

just. leaves maybe??

67: how do gloomy days where the sky is dark and the world is misty make you feel?

Horror Movie

68: what’s winter like where you live?

oh winter is fucking fantastic it never gets colder than 25 degrees celsius here and if it does rain it lasts for like 10 minutes

69: what are your favorite board games?

i used to rly like snake and ladders and monopoly :-o

70: have you ever used a ouija board?

im not ready for that kinda death

71: what’s your favorite kind of tea?

english breakfast or earl gray??? those r like the standard right

72: are you a person who needs to note everything down or else you’ll forget it?

ya but i never do bc i either forget to or am just 2 lazy

73: what are some of your worst habits?

being lazy + procrastinating :-D

74: describe a good friend of yours without using their name or gendered pronouns.

okie :-o ..

they’re great ok ive talked abt them like 10 times in the span of 2 months but whatever folks

they’re super nice, kind and just all of the positive adjectives out there in the dictionary ...... they’ve helped me multiple times and they’re always there 2 lend me a listening ear (or in our case, eye lmao) idk??? im just super comfortable around them always and im honestly so thankful we became mutuals (and subsequently friends) last year!!!! i cant say a lot bc ill just get v repetitive but overall they’re an awesome friend and im glad we still communicate daily via twitter and sometimes our skype sessions even if they’re kinda awkward bc i never know when 2 talk bc im scared ill speak and theyll say smth and itll turn into a MESS which actually happened lmao  

im looking forward to the day our skype sessions become super smooth and easy going!!!

75: tell us about your pets!

i have none but id die for boxys cats

76: is there anything you should be doing right now but aren’t?

well yeah always tbh but its not smth i have to do but more like want to do im just 2 lazy to get around doing it

77: pink or yellow lemonade?

?? i almost said lemons arent pink but i Remembered...... yellow lemonade

78: are you in the minion hateclub or fanclub?

i feel like this is an Attack? okay LISTEN so story time again.

on the flight back from japan i watched the alien covenant and i couldnt even get past the scene where the baby alien was gonna kill the poor guy who ended up being locked up with the infected dude as soon as i saw the blood and the alien emerge from the guy’s back i bolted lmao

so to calm myself down nd block that memory from my mind i went ahead and watched despicable me 3.. which HONESTLY im the worst critic ever but in my humble opinion.... the movie was good????????? idk i didnt watch minions the movie though i got lazy again whooopS!

anwyay i sidetracked but im neutral im not a fan but i wouldnt go out of my way to call minions annoying?? bc they really arent? i feel like its only seen that way bc of how people make posts abt how annoying minions are even tho.. they arent??

79: what’s one of the cutest things someone has ever done for you?

my memory hates me so every specific thing my friends have ever done for me has left my mind but .

the cutest thing? everything my friends do for me

80: what color are your bedroom walls? did you choose that color? if so, why?

theyre yellow and no i didnt theyve been there ever since i could remember

81: describe one of your friend’s eyes using the most abstract imagery you can think of.

lava cake

82: are/were you good in school?

yeah i was good in school for like the first three years and this year i just flopped so badly lmao and its my important year too oh well my exams r over and i still dont have a backup plan in mind

83: what’s some of your favorite album art?

all of dance gavin dance’s albums have awesome art

84: are you planning on getting tattoos? which ones?

back when i was really into 5sos i thought of getting a tally since that was their logo at that time but now no not really unless i decide to get lance’s face tattooed onto my forehead on impulse

85: do you read comics? what are your faves?

im keeping up with hq, bnha and tg manga!!!!

86: do you like concept albums? which ones?

idk what those r but sure

87: what are some movies you think everyone should watch at least once in their lives?

big hero 6

88: are there any artistic movements you particularly enjoy?

who wrote this whats up with these questions

i googled and.. not really?? they all look nice

89: are you close to your parents?

close enough to stand being in the same room as them but not close enough to want to initiate conversations

90: talk about your one of you favorite cities.

tokyo was really cool (literally) and if i ever go again id love to go with friends so we can explore more??

91: where do you plan on traveling this year?

japan was supposed to be the only plan for this year but my grandad passed away so i had to go to malaysia multiple times earlier this year ik this wasnt the qn but ive already went to the planned destination tm so

92: are you a person who drowns their pasta in cheese or a person who barely sprinkles a pinch?

BARELY SPRINKLES A PINCH im anti cheese

93: what’s the hairstyle you wear the most?

um. like?? i tie the sides of my hair that cover my face back??? bc i dont like hair in my face

94: who was the last person you know to have a birthday?

bell

95: what are your plans for this weekend?

hopefully something useful

96: do you install your computer updates really quickly or do you procrastinate on them a lot?

i also click remind me tomorrow lmao

97: myer briggs type, zodiac sign, and hogwarts house?

infp-t, capricorn, hufflepuff (same as falen nd jen yay)

98: when’s the last time you went hiking? did you enjoy it?

uh ive never been hiking and i dont plan on it sorry body

99: list some five (or id never shut up) songs that resonate to your soul whenever you hear them.

currently......

when you love someone - day6

like we used to - the rose

crazy sexy cool - astro

death of a strawberry - dance gavin dance

if it means a lot to you - a day to remember

idk if these actually “resonate to my soul” they just sound nice

100: if you were presented with two buttons, one that allows you to go 5 years into the past, the other 5 years into the future, which one would you press? why?

oh worm.. i wouldnt miind either???

i know i have 2 choose but like

if i go back into the past i could be less annoying?? but the past has actually helped me be the way i am today and i think im learning to be a better person?? im definitely way better than how i was previously 5 years ago and im just grateful i was able to learn from my mistakes???

so i wouldnt go back to the past.

if its in the future i can see how ill end up and if its not good i might end up being able to change myself so i dont get my “bad end”..???? maybe or i can just see what happens in the future and i can look forward to it

itll also give me a chnace to have the most fun while i can if its not too nice

so my decision is to go to the future

thank you so much for asking falen god this got so long lmao

[oh-mother-of-darkness]

asks (9)

Anonymous said: if you have the time, could we maybe please have your absolute /worst/ headcanons about Dick mourning Damian? before/during Spyral? btw u are an absolute gift :*

Shoot I meant to put this one into the fic today too. Oh well. Damian and Dick angst is here

Anonymous said: everytime I see something about damian it reminds me of you

The highest praise I’ve ever received :’)

Anonymous said: do you know of other batblogs that don't do ships?

Uhhhhhh I don’t think so? I can’t think of anyone else that’s entirely ship-free, but frankly I don’t follow very many people. How bout this? If any of y'all ARE ship-free, reply in the notes. That way we’ll know :)

Anonymous said: Song recs: "Centuries" by Fall Out Boy (Justice League), "Remember The Name" by Fort Minor ft. Styles of Beyond (this is THE Batfam song!), "Counting Stars" by OneRepublic (Dick), "All The Right Moves" by OneRepublic (Batkids), "Tiptoe" by Imagine Dragons (Batkids), "Warrior" by Beth Crowley (Batgirls), "Shatter Me" by Lindsey Stirling ft. Lzzy Hale (Babs), "Disarm" by The Civil Wars (Jason), "Demons" by Imagine Dragons (Jason), "Afterlife" by Ingrid Michaelson (Batkids).

Oooooooh thank you these are very nice! I hadn’t heard most of them

Anonymous said: Batfam/kids song recs! "Renegades" by X-Ambassadors, "When The Darkness Comes" by Colbie Caillat, "Royals" and "Rule the World" by Lorde, "Midnight" and "Fix You" by Coldplay and "Bad Blood" by Bastille. Also for Dick: "Pompeii" by Bastille and "Hopeless Wanderer" by Mumford & Sons.

Thanks! Idk if this was one person or two, but please continue to send me music, y'all, I like it

Anonymous said: no need to be batfamily centric, what comics would you recommend for someone getting into comics now?

Red Robin (2009)

Batgirl (2009)

Batman and Robin (2009)

Batman and Robin (2011)

Robin: Son of Batman (2015)

Batman: Under the Red Hood

Batman: The Black Mirror

Batman: The Court of Owls

Batman: Death of the Family

Good enough for a start? I don’t read a lot outside the batfamily titles, I’m afraid

Anonymous said: Omg I love your writing. Can I request Damian and Jason fighting about Damian and Jon's missions?

Hm I’m a lil backlogged just now, but I think there’s a pretty good chance that Jon will show up eventually. Just probably not real soon :/

Anonymous said: I'm new to the DC comic world, but I'm a bit curious as to how fans feel/reacted about one thing: Talia drugging and taking advantage of Bruce? Do fans feel the same about that as they would if that had happened to a female character? Was it a big deal? I was shocked to find out it had happened, and want to know how other fans feel. Did the writers ever later address it?

Oh boy

In my experience there are two schools of thought:

1) People that like Talia and choose to use the older version of canon, where Bruce and Talia were in love and the rape never happened

2) People that hate Talia

As always, I’d prefer not to say which side I come down on, and I won’t answer any personal questions related to Talia. It’s a bit of a hot button topic, and I prefer to avoid conflict. Thank you. Let’s continue.

Here’s the thing, anon-- Damian was created by a writer named Grant Morrison in 2006. Before that, there was a storyline where Bruce and Talia had a baby, and she gave him up for adoption without telling him. Historically, Bruce and Talia’s relationship has been pretty straightforward: they liked each other, and any romantic interactions were consensual. 

Morrison changed that. I can’t say for certain why, but you can read a bit more about my opinion of him over here. In Morrison’s version, Damian was conceived by rape, for eugenic purposes; they were trying to create the ideal heir from al Ghul and Wayne DNA.

Talia drugged Bruce’s drink, and yes, that is absolutely rape. No doubt about it. Rape. It’s disgusting and unnecessary, and it doesn’t really make sense, considering the thirty-five years of material that came before Morrison’s Talia. 

Because of that, it’s a divisive topic. There are a lot of people who argue that since Talia’s actions were out of character for her (and since Morrison went on to make her do other out of character things, like murdering her own son) the rape should be removed from canon. Those folks generally substitute the older storyline where Bruce and Talia were in love. 

That kind of thinking really isn't that uncommon for comic fans because the way comic canon is constructed-- multiple writers with varying skill levels who frequently produce overlapping or contradictory accounts of the same events-- presents us with multiple versions to choose from. A small and unrelated example: in his original version, Tim Drake dropped out of high school before graduation. In the n52, he graduated early. I prefer the older version, so even when I read the n52, I think of Tim as a high school drop out.

There are also canon story lines that I just don’t acknowledge, Battle for the Cowl being the easiest example. I know that the characterization is awful, so I pretend it never happened.

Morrison dramatically changed who Talia is as a character, not just at that specific point, but continually from 2006 to 2013. Since he retired, Talia has been shifting back to her older incarnation (again, see the link from above). You’re going to find a lot of folks who are happy with that, and those are likely to be the same people that edit the rape out of Talia’s history. 

You’re also going to find folks on the other side of the issue-- people that acknowledge the rape and believe that it would be wrong to edit it out of history. Morrison’s Talia, while mischaracterized, has been around for a long time with some very dramatic effects. Damian’s redemption storyline, death, resurrection, and general personality all depend on Talia’s action while Morrison was writing her-- if you choose to ignore all of that, Damian as we know him can’t exist, and he’s been a giant part of the general bat canon for the last eleven years. 

Beyond that, rape and filicide are awful, horrifying crimes, and they both happened within Talia’s canon. They’re the current version. They haven’t been retconned. As a matter of fact, Morrison isn’t the only one circulating that version-- the recent animated movies about Damian explicitly include the rape, and those began in 2014. 

You also made an excellent point when you asked about gender-- male rape victims are treated incredibly poorly in fiction and life, and I think it’s fair to argue that ignoring Bruce’s canonical rape contributes to that. Bruce isn’t the only member of the batfamily with this issue either. Dick was raped by Tarantula in 2002 (he asked her not to touch him, he was in shock and immobile, and she had sex with him anyway), and that writer (Devon Grayson) didn’t even call it rape. Would the rape of either of those men be treated differently if they were women? I don’t know. I can’t really answer a hypothetical. But it’s worth thinking about.

When it comes to Talia, I’d say my experience with general opinion has been about a 50/50 split? That being said, I am very young, and I’ve only been in this game for five years. I can’t tell you how any of this went over in 2006 because I was a ten year old at the time, and I don’t think I know anyone older who could tell me.

As far as writers go... I don’t recall Bruce’s emotional state being addressed in any way. Most of the time, writers don’t directly talk about it. Some of them seem to lean towards the earlier version by framing Bruce and Talia as a love story; however, that doesn’t mean that by omitting the rape, they retcon it. People are raped by their partners or spouses all the time. Saying that Bruce loved Talia doesn’t automatically erase the rape. Implying that Bruce and Talia had consensual sex before or after Damian’s conception doesn’t automatically erase the rape. Frankly it would be very hard to retcon, since there would have to be some kind of statement within the dialogue denying any kind of drugging. 

I don’t know if any of this will ever be addressed, but I’ve written a lot more than I meant to now, so I’m going to stop. I hope I answered all your questions. If I didn’t, you could try sending me a message instead of an ask, and we can talk more about it in private

@another-nameless-person said: The CTC story reminds me so much of my own family omg. I am so happy I'm not the only one with a big family who does this too. I'm so happy I've since moved out of my moms and can stash my own junk food at home lol

Right? I’m only just now kicking the habit of hiding my food. I also recently realized that I’m allowed to drink directly from the bottles now, which is fun

@coredesignixandnekonee said: Do you think, in a world where Nightwing knows Starfire, Oracle, Miss Martian, Red Arrow/Arsenal, and Kid Flash (Wally West1) that there's a "red headed friends of Robin/Nightwing" club where they hang out and complain about him with tea and cookies?

Wally, dipping Oreos in his milk: listen guys I know for a fact he isn’t sleeping and I think we’re gonna have to make him. Whose turn is it