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arieslost · 9 months ago

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the other papaya | op81

pairing: oscar piastri x fem!reader (brief pato o’ward x fem!reader)

summary: something something the first five times you hear the name “oscar piastri” and the one time you say it

wc: 3,165

warnings: mention of covid lockdown, a wee bit o’ angst, drinking

masterlist — join my tag list here!

The first time you heard Oscar Piastri’s name, it was said in contempt.

You knew your boyfriend didn’t hate him, but you also knew that Pato could practically hear the phone ringing with the offer to drive for McLaren in F1 right up until he found out that the seat was going to someone else. To Oscar Piastri. The “kid,” as he so aptly referred to him.

“He’s only two years younger than you,” you admonished him one night, soon after the announcement was made public.

“Exactly. A kid.”

“I’m two years younger than you.” You said, and that made him wrinkle his nose.

“Point taken.”

You would describe your relationship with Pato O’Ward as puppy love. Things between the two of you escalated a little too quickly, as many things in 2020 did. You went from going on a whopping four dates by the end of 2019 to living together for the foreseeable future when everything went on lockdown. Your mother had voiced her concern about it, but if you didn’t live with him you didn’t really have anywhere else to go. Besides, you liked each other so much that it only made sense that you continued to build your relationship in the comfort of his spacious apartment. The two of you settled into a decent rhythm, and you took the time to learn more about motorsport. When he was finally able to hit the track again, you went to every race you could, decked out in papaya, cheering him on no matter what. And you continued to do so even though he lost his chance at driving in F1 to “the kid.”

The second time you heard Oscar Piastri’s name, it came from the man himself when you ran into him at the 2024 Australian Grand Prix.

It was the first time you felt rather hesitant about going to a race with your boyfriend. Pato was welcomed to the McLaren F1 team as a reserve driver, and that was how you found yourself feeling extremely out of place in the McLaren garage. You met Oscar’s girlfriend before you met him, and while she was kind enough to get you a pair of headphones and offer to sit with you during the race, the entire interaction had you feeling like you should’ve just stayed back at the hotel. All the other WAGs were dressed to the nines, looking effortlessly beautiful, and you were wearing ripped jeans and a jersey with Pato’s number on it, like you always did, even though he wasn’t racing. With Pato busy in a debrief, you were busy just trying to stay out of the way and not stick out like a sore thumb.

“Excuse me,” someone said, and you assumed you were in the way, so you apologized and started moving when the person grabbed your arm to stop you. “No, sorry, I just– hi. You’re Pato’s girlfriend, yeah?”

Your eyes widened when you recognized the man talking to you. “Um… yes, I am.”

“I’m Oscar. Piastri,” he said.

“Yeah, I know,” you nodded, accepting his handshake and telling him your name in return. “Are you here to tell me I need to leave?”

“What? No, of course not. Pato told me you were here, so I wanted to come say hi.”

“Oh.” You could feel your face starting to grow hot, because you really weren’t sure what to do in this situation.

Pato lost a chance at a seat to this guy, and you remembered his disappointment well. But you didn’t expect Oscar to come up to you in a million years.

“That’s really nice of you,” you continued, trying to smile without looking too awkward. “Congrats on getting the seat. You must be pretty talented.”

“Ah, thanks.” He looked at you for a moment, and you looked back. “Anyway, I just wanted to say hi.”

You giggled in spite of yourself. “You said that already.”

“Right, yeah. Well, it was nice to meet you,” he said, hesitantly tacking your name onto the end of his sentence. “Thanks for being here.”

“Nice to meet you too, Oscar. Good luck today.”

Two races later, Pato messaged him to congratulate him on his podium, and you mentioned wanting to thank and congratulate him yourself. You got Oscar’s number, and after his quick response, the conversation died out, just as you expected. You didn’t have anything else to say to him anyway, but soon after, you got a follow request from him on Instagram. You accepted without a second thought– just one papaya supporting another.

The third time you heard Oscar Piastri’s name, it was when a TikTok showed up on your feed talking about the “shocking split” between him and his girlfriend. You were reasonably surprised; his girlfriend was beautiful and kind, and from an outsider’s perspective they seemed quite happy with each other. The video went on to discuss speculation that his girlfriend was the one who had ended the relationship, and there were pictures of him looking visibly upset at the latest race. You closed the app, feeling like you were massively invading his privacy even though the first thing you saw upon opening Instagram was a statement on his story confirming the breakup. You couldn’t imagine what he was going through.

“Ah, so you saw, too,” Pato said, adjusting his workout clothes as he leaned over your shoulder.

“It’s terrible,” you sighed, shutting your phone off. “They seemed so happy together.”

“High school sweethearts, too. That makes it worse.”

You gave him a look. “You can feel bad for him, y’know.”

“I do!” Pato raised his hands with a laugh. “But if he wants to sit out of a race because of this, I won’t be upset.”

“You’re terrible, get out of here.” You shoved him playfully, and he left with a kiss on your forehead.

The last race weekend before summer break brought you a taste of the heartbreak Oscar went through only a couple months prior.

Pato had been in one of the older cars running some tests, and came home a little later than usual. He didn’t even answer your question of how his day was before he was sitting you down on the couch and looking anywhere but at your face.

“Pato, what’s going on? You’re kind of freaking me out,” you laughed nervously.

“I think we should break up.” He said, face stony.

You blinked. “What?”

“I’ve been thinking about it for a little while,” he began, “and I think it’s for the best.”

“How long is ‘a while’?” You asked, shifting away from him as you felt your heart begin to pound.

“Ever since I became a reserve driver.” He confessed, and you scoffed.

“Are you serious right now?”

“This is the closest I’ve ever been to a F1 seat.” He said, like that made breaking up logical.

“Yeah, I know. And you know how I know? Because I’ve been around for years.” You hissed, standing up and walking towards the bedroom. “But I guess that means nothing to you.”

“Don’t be like that,” Pato protested, following close behind. “This is my career. I don’t want to risk anything.”

“Right. Of course.” You nodded, moving about the room to collect as much of your stuff as you could with shaking hands.

The rest of the week went by in a blur. You packed up all your things and took the soonest flight to Australia to try and forget about the fact that Pato had just thrown away years of being together for a fleeting chance at driving a stupid race car.

The fourth time you hear Oscar Piastri’s name, it’s on the other end of the phone.

The two weeks following your breakup are uneventful and entirely consist of you, the warm Australian sun, and the spare bedroom in your aunt and uncle’s house. You haven’t deleted any of your IndyCar posts, nor have you posted any more. In fact, you haven’t posted anything since the last time you were in Australia, only a few months ago. Your Instagram has become stagnant; a reflection of your real life. You haven’t told many people about your breakup, so you’re surprised when your phone rings. Even more so when you see who it is.

“Hello?”

“Hey, it’s Oscar. Piastri,” he adds his last name like an afterthought, just like he did when he introduced himself in the garage.

“I know,” you say, pushing yourself into a sitting position on your bed. “Caller ID. Although you’re probably the last person I’d expect a call from.”

“Listen, are you not around anymore?” He asks, evidently not in the mood to beat around the bush. “I haven’t seen you, and you haven’t posted about IndyCar or anything.”

“Ah, um, yeah, no, I’m not.” You clear your throat uncomfortably. “Actually, Pato and I broke up. Well, he broke up with me. So, no reason for me to be around, I guess.”

“Oh,” Oscar says, his loud sigh crackling through the microphone. “I figured something was wrong. Shit, I’m sorry.”

“Yeah. I’m uh… I’m sorry too. Seemed like you had a good thing going.”

“Thanks. Seemed that way for you, too,” he mumbles. “So… I guess things have really been sucking for both of us lately.”

“Pretty much.” You laugh.

“This is a terrible idea,” he begins after a moment of silence, “but are you in Australia right now?”

You debate lying to him, because it is a terrible idea, and you have a feeling you know what he’s going to say next. You don’t care. “I am.”

“Alright, well, it’s summer break for F1 right now, and to be honest you’re the only person I know that understands what I’ve been going through.”

“Are you asking me to be your wallowing buddy?” You ask.

“Something like that. My plan was pretty much along the lines of drowning our sorrows in alcohol.” You can hear the smile in his voice, and for some reason that does you in.

The fifth time you hear Oscar Piastri’s name, it’s through a cheap karaoke microphone.

You’ve lost count of how many days you’ve spent with him, and you feel like you’re still a little drunk from the night before when he breaks open a bottle of champagne.

“What is this, a celebration?” You ask, stretching your arms and legs out so you look like a starfish where you lay on the living room floor.

“It’s whatever the fuck we want it to be.” He takes two glasses and pours the champagne out.

You giggle at him while he dramatically sets them both down on the coffee table at your side. “You definitely pregamed before you got here.”

“I did not,” he protests, but you shake your head.

“No, no, you say curse words like that when you’re drunk.”

“Like what?”

“Like, ‘oh my God, this champagne is so fucking good.’” You mock him after taking a sip, and he starts laughing too.

“Fine, you caught me.” He throws his hands up. “I pregamed. But, I walked here, so who cares?”

You’re glad that your aunt and uncle are out for the night, because a few hours and countless glasses of champagne later find the both of you in the attic, discovering a karaoke microphone without a machine to match.

“Screw the machine, we don’t need the shitty machine,” Oscar rolls his eyes, watching you put batteries into the microphone. “We’ll just find something on YouTube. Does it work?”

You flip the switch and hold it up to your mouth. “HELLO? It works.”

You regret putting fresh batteries into it as soon as Oscar gets up to sing. You think that he might not be half bad if he’s sober, but drunk, his singing is absolutely insufferable. You would care if you weren’t equally as drunk as him. He pulls up a karaoke video of Last Friday Night by Katy Perry, only after getting you to swear on the lives of your entire family that you won’t tell anyone what you see or hear. You consider secretly recording him, but the second he starts, you’re practically folded in half from laughing so hard at his antics and the fleeting idea is gone.

He’s so dramatic with every lyric, like he’s trying to act all the words out while he’s singing about a stranger in his bed and pink flamingos in his (nonexistent) pool. When he gets to the part of the chorus talking about taking too many shots, he gestures for you to hand him the champagne bottle. You hand it over immediately and watch as he stops singing entirely to take a long drink straight from the bottle, ignoring how attractive he looks the whole while. You actually think that you’d really like to kiss him. You’re drunk, and you’re heartbroken. You just want to laugh and forget about it all. So when he chokes on the champagne for a moment and flounders to find where he’s supposed to be in the song, you do just that.

The song ends both too soon and not soon enough, and you give him a round of applause, chanting, “Encore!” a few times as he takes a bow.

“I’m Oscar Piastri,” he yells, “and I fucking hate relationships!”

You cheer loudly. “Speak on it!”

“Except I have a problem,” he says, all of a sudden dejected as he flops onto the couch beside you, still speaking into the mic. “I have a biiiig, huuuuge problem.”

“Tell the all-knowing, and she shall answer,” you turn onto your side to face him and reach out to… you don’t remember what you wanted to do. Maybe touch his cheek. Or his nose. Or his lips.

Your hand ends up resting on the top of his head, fingers tangled in the soft strands of his hair.

“I think I might really like you,” he whispers, his words muffled by his lips smushing against the top of the mic. “Which is not good. I mean, it’s good, like, I think you’re amazing, but it’s not good, because I broke up and then you broke up, so we both broke up, but not with each other, with other people, and–”

You cut him off by taking the mic from him with your free hand and switching it off.

“Sorry.” He says, blinking at you slowly. “Do we have to talk about this?”

“We do,” you begin, petting his head. “Eventually. But not now. I am way too drunk to talk about this.”

This makes him start giggling, so you start giggling, and then you’re both cackling and clutching your stomachs.

You want to laugh, and forget about it, and you want to do it every single day with Oscar.

The first time you say the name Oscar Piastri, it’s while you’re laying in a hospital bed.

You’ve always been notorious for getting easily bruised, but breaking a bone is a first. Especially when it happens in the public eye.

You were only trying to make a cute, aesthetic TikTok showcasing your first race weekend as Oscar’s official girlfriend when you tripped and fractured your ankle in front of half the McLaren team. Not to mention the throng of fans mere feet away.

The two of you didn’t start dating until half a year after his drunken confession, and when you first started going out you had to be very discreet so fans didn’t expose the both of you before either of you were ready. Most of your dates ended up being at your aunt and uncle’s, which had become your home too once you got a job and started really getting yourself together after your breakup. He flew out to see you all the time, and as soon as he suggested that you come with him to the race of the season, you jumped on the opportunity. You didn’t think you’d ever go to a race again, but here you were. You were both happy, and you were both ready.

And now you’re fuming, mentally cursing yourself as you look down at your boot-covered ankle that has now effectively ruined your entire weekend.

Oscar comes rushing into the room, and you hold up a hand.

“Don’t tell me. Do not even tell me.” You shake your head. “Just tell me if it’s somewhat safe to go online or if I should just throw my phone out.”

“What?”

“I know people are talking about it. Oh, no.” Your eyes widen. “No, no. I’ve become a public embarrassment for you. I knew it. It only took me a few hours.” You cover your face with your hands. “Oh, my God… I am so sorry.”

“Again, what?” He asks, prying your hands away. “Baby, are you okay?”

“I’m fine, aside from that,” you gesture to the boot, glaring at it before your eyes shoot back up to him. “Wait a second, how did quali go? Did you do your media stuff already?”

“I’m starting P5. I came here right after, no media.” He rushes out, pulling up a chair so he can sit right next to you and hold your hand. “They’re letting you go, right?”

“Yeah, just have to do some paperwork and get a prescription– why didn’t you go to the media?”

“Because they told me you got hurt? And you needed to be hospitalized?” He says, like it’s obvious.

“Oz, you get fined for that!” You exclaim. “Oh, no, this is so bad! First I embarrass you– no, not just you, probably the entire team, and now you’re here and not there and you’re going to get in trouble… fuck, what if you get fired?!”

“Baby, baby,” Oscar laughs, grabbing both of your hands now. “I’ll get fined, but I’m not gonna get fired just because I skipped media one time. Zak was fine with it, if that makes you feel better.”

You’re still worried, and he can see it in your eyes.

“What’s got you so worked up about this?” He asks softly.

“I just… don’t want to be a risk towards your career.” You say, feeling ashamed that you can still hear Pato’s words from the day he broke up with you. Oscar knows immediately.

“Oh, honey,” he sighs, leaning in and kissing you on the lips, and then your nose. “None of this means anything if I don’t have you.”

You’re still taking it slow, but this is the closest either of you have come to saying “I love you” without saying it, so you pull your hands from his and cup his cheeks to pull him into another kiss.

“Oscar Piastri, you are my whole world.”

Ten minutes later, Lando comes bursting into the room with such aggression that he almost faceplants, and he makes so much noise that a nurse runs into the room looking highly concerned.

So, you laugh, and you forget about it, and you do it with Oscar at your side, where you know he’ll stay for the rest of your lives.

note: this was a bitch to write. also i was gonna make a layout for this but i really wanted to post it tonight so it is sans layout and was edited like a half hour before it’s scheduled to post. all that being said, i hope u enjoyed!!

my inbox is always open for comments, criticism, and conversation! feel free to pop in!

reblogs are greatly appreciated <33

dividers by @/saradika

tags: @venusacrossthestars @67-angelofthelordme-67 @emails-i-can-send @nelly187 @cixrosie @fangirl-dot-com @sainzluvrr @imheretoread @mellowarcadefun @yourbane @monsieurbacteria6 @c-losur3 @papayatori @ssprayberrythings @namgification @maih23 @evlkking @witchycarmen @ilovethispookie @maxverstappenfan79 @sya-skies @sweatrevenge5436-blog @kimis-gloves @mia-rrrs @decafmickey @customsbyjcg-blog @bigheartsthings @tania2748 @scuderiadevils @iloveyou3000morgan @ctrlyomomma @hiireadstuff @daemyratwst @arian-directioner @evelyn-ny @avg-golden-retriever

#request #full fic #op81 week #oscar piastri x reader #oscar piastri x you #oscar piastri imagine #oscar piastri fluff #op81 x reader #op81 x you #op81 imagine #op81 fluff #formula one x reader #formula one imagine #f1 x reader #f1 imagine

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cllightning81 · 4 months ago

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Academic Change

Summary : Everything's changing and the only way you know how to deal with it is by crying. Ollie's there to help though

Pairing/s: Oliver Bearman x Reader

Word Count : 0.8k

Masterlist

Oliver Bearman Masterlist

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A/N : Oh, how I needed an Ollie last night when this exact situation hit me.

It had reached a new academic year, but this year was different. You've finished high school and are now on your way to university. Ollie was signing with Haas, which meant his life was about to get more difficult. However, the worst part about it all was your best friend was moving away to go to university.

You’d heard the horror stories about best friends that move away and slowly just lose connection until it was like there was never a friendship there in the first place. With all the change that was happening over the next six months, you could feel the anxiety kicking in.

Ollie was back home for the break between Monza and Baku and you couldn’t be more grateful because during that break you had to say bye to your best friend and it was worse than Ollie leaving almost every week.

She understood you in a way that no one else could, there were millions of inside jokes that would be shared between you, inappropriate jokes that would have strangers or other people complaining about but that was your friendship.

It wasn’t until you were lying in bed blocking out the neighbours party that it really hit you. Noah Kahan’s ‘You’re Gonna Go Far’ playing into your ears as the words suddenly hit more than they ever had before.

Before you knew it, the tears had started falling down your face as the panic set in that actually she was packing up her car and being wherever she was. You’d tried not to cry for months about her leaving, but suddenly, everything was just far too much.

Ollie who was lying next to you in bed also blocking out the neighbours party with his own earphones in except this time scrolling on tiktok glanced over at you instantly spotting the tear tracks that had been on your face as you swapped from your normal playlist to your sad playlist needing to just let all your feelings out.

His arms wrapped around your body, pulling you closer to him as he ran a comforting hand over your back in an attempt to help calm you down however you were too deep into your crying session by now.

Soon Ollie figured you’d been crying enough and took your phone swapping over to some ‘relaxing sounds’ that in reality just made you want to use the bathroom but you didn’t have the energy to fight him.

His hand gently pulled your wrist closer to him as he messed about with your smartwatch to start the breathing exercises that were programmed in by whatever company you’d previously bought it from. As you followed the instructions from the watch, you could feel the anxiety of losing your best friend leaving your body and your heart rate dropping back down to normal.

Ollie sighed, letting you remove your earphones and place your phone on the bedside table before pulling you back into his body

“I know it’s hard, darling. Trust me, I know, except I was the one leaving everyone behind. I know it from both points of view, and you just need to remember that what you have won’t disappear overnight. You’ll meet new people on your course even if it’s a small course and you’ll never forget about your memories with her. I know your anxiety is through the roof right now, and you don’t deal well with change, but remember I’ll always be here. Even if I’m in Italy or Australia. She’ll always be there whether she’s ten minutes away by bus or half an hour by train” Ollie took a breath, pushing some hair out your face and wiping stray tears from your face

“Change is hard, and it’ll always be hard for you because that’s just who you are, but I love you for it and remember you’re the first from your family ever to go to university. That’s an achievement. You’re also doing a medical degree technically. I love you” He smiled, and you nodded

“I love you too. Thank you” Ollie nodded, pressing his lips against yours.

Everything was changing, and as hard as that was to admit, unfortunately, change was always going to happen in life, and although your facetimes were starting to become irregular, they were still happening.

No matter what happened in the next few months, at least you always had the memories that you’d created over the past three years at high school. Because you’d left all those friend groups that turned out not to be right, and now you had your best friend.

It was going to work out, and Ollie knew that after a couple of weeks you’d understand that.

“Come on time for some ice cream” Ollie hummed, getting out of bed and throwing you over his shoulder, causing you to giggle and cling on for dear life.

Sitting you down on the counter in the kitchen, Ollie raided the freezer, handing you the carton of ice cream with a spoon as he told Alex to play songs from both your childhoods. After all, much like your best friend, he knew how to make you happy.

And to quote Lauv “The story never ends”

Coming Soon

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narryffdreaming · 2 months ago

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lia and harry's story (five)

summary: harry is a bartender and lia lives right across the street. rating: +18 || warnings: mental health (anxiety) and smut (here and there) word count: 10,9k

(ONE) | (TWO) | (THREE) | (FOUR - I) | (FOUR - II)

Lia had no idea what time it was when the banging on her door started. She also had no idea how long it had been since she’d arrived home from the bar. Since she’d cried her soul out. Since she’d run out of tears.

She knew it was Harry, though. Of course she knew. He had called her non-stop for a while — from the moment she’d left the bar until she’d finally texted and asked him to please stop.

And then he had texted her, too. Multiple times. I’m sorry. Let me explain. I messed up. I was an asshole. Please let’s talk. Which only made it all hurt even more. Every word she read stabbing her a little deeper inside her chest.

Because she wanted him to be there for her. She wanted to cry wrapped inside his arms and forget about the pain while laughing at something silly he said. She wanted that. She wanted to answer his phone call and ask him to spend the night with her.

She wanted him.

And yet she shouldn’t want him, and she couldn’t want him.

…

Right?

…

See? It would be easier if he didn’t keep trying. If he didn’t act like he cared. If he didn’t act like he regretted his actions. If he didn’t put the decision in her hands.

Was she overreacting?

Would it be okay to forgive him?

Should she never talk to him again and move on?

Should she listen to what he had to say?

She couldn’t make up her mind. So she texted him back — I need some time to think — and turned her phone off. Hoping a nap would make things better. Hoping some sleep would fix everything up. Give her the answers she needed to decide how to act next.

With that in mind, she forced herself to change her clothes, then curled into a ball under her quilt and hugged a pillow. The pillow that smelled like him, and that brought a new wave of tears as she stared at the darkness outside her window and waited to fall asleep.

Except she never did.

She didn’t nap, she didn’t rest. No matter how hard she tried, she just couldn’t turn her body off.

And then there he was, trying again. Banging on her door. Loudly. Desperately. A sound that worried her it would wake up all of her neighbors, and that didn’t stop until she gave in and dragged herself to let him in.

“I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry.” He slammed his body into hers, curving his back and grasping at her neck. “Shit. I’m so sorry babe. Please. I’m so so sorry.”

Lia stared over his shoulder. Watched the hallway through the open door. The yellow lights, tinting the white ceiling and walls. Thankfully her neighbors hadn’t shown up. She wondered if they ever would… If someone in that building would worry for her to the point of checking what was going on or if she needed any help. Even in the middle of the night.

Was it even the middle of the night already? She didn’t know. She had lost track of time. She had lost track of—

“I freaked out.” He pulled away, then cradled her cheeks between his clammy and shaky hands. “I’m sorry,” he said, staring into her eyes. “Please say something. Are you— Shit. Are you ok? I’ve been worried sick. And I know it’s my fault, I know that. I just… Babe. Please. Please say something.”

“The door.”

“What?”

“The door is open.” She lifted one arm, pointing at it. Harry followed the movement with his eyes, then with his head, looking over his shoulder and behind him. “Can you close it? I’ll wait in bed.”

He faced her again, brows deeply furrowed. “Are you— I mean, you want me to stay? Lock the door, and go to bed?”

Lia nodded.

“You sure?”

“Yes.” She placed her weak fingers around his wrists, then pulled them down and away from her face. “I can’t do this right now. I can’t— I need to sleep.”

She looked down to the floor and turned around, then tiredly dragged her feet through the living room.

“Just lock the door, okay?” she added. “Please. And come to bed.”

“O—ok,” Harry murmured behind her. “Of course. Whatever you need.”

“We’ll talk in the morning.”

“Ok. Yeah. Ok.”

— — — — —

Lia blinked a few times.

Everything was dark and silent, but she wasn’t tired anymore. She was hot, though — really hot. Neck sweating and sticky legs kind of hot.

Uncomfortable and annoying kind of hot.

She stirred and shuffled forward, but then Harry’s arms tightened around her, pulling her back to him as he mumbled and grunted behind her. Only then Lia realized how hard he was holding onto her — how he had his face pressed against her neck, his legs curled behind hers, and his arms firm around her stomach. How his warm breath kept hitting her skin, and how his chest moved up and down against her back.

Despite all exhaustion and disappointment, a tender feeling enveloped her heart, and then the tiniest smile danced through her lips.

His unconscious need to keep her close was sweet, and had it been any other day and under any other circumstance, she wouldn’t have tried to slip away from him again.

If anything, she would’ve leaned into him even further.

But the memories from the night before were still livid, just like the pain he had made her feel. So she pursed her lips, took a deep breath in, and tapped the back of his hand.

“Harry,” she called, raising her still sleepy voice and wincing at how sore her throat still was.

“Hm…”

“I— I need to move.”

He squeezed tighter, crushing her into his arms and nuzzling his face even deeper on her neck.

“C’mon…” She grabbed his forearm. “I’m sweating.”

“I don’t mind,” he mumbled. “Stay.”

“But I mind, Harry.”

A moment. A pause.

And then…

“I just… Don’t wanna let you go.”

His breath tingled on her skin, and his words spread goosebumps all over her body.

Harry’s morning voice normally tended to make her feel… Things. Many things. Different things. Always scratchy, always husky. Deeper and slower than during any other time of the day. Sometimes, it brought a desperate need to touch his bare skin, kiss his pouty dry lips and have him cursing and panting by her ear. Some other times, it led to long conversations, soft giggles, and innocent touches. It made her ache for late breakfasts, cozy cuddles, and random childhood stories in bed.

No matter what, exactly, his voice made her feel, it always had some sense of happiness behind it. It always made her smile, it always made her feel good about herself.

And that morning, or night, despite everything — or maybe because of everything — all of those things seemed to intensify. His tone, and also her feelings. Her happy feelings. As wrong, as unsettling, and as out of place as that might’ve been.

Lia swallowed. “It’s… It’s too warm. And I can’t move.”

“Then stay. Just five more minutes.”

“No, c’mon… Harry— This is— I mean— Please let go.”

“Ok, ok,” he sighed, loosening up the grip, but not really pulling his arms away. And then he pressed a gentle kiss to the back of her neck, and kept his lips on her skin as he murmured, “If I let you go, do you promise not to leave me?”

What?

“I know I messed up,” he added. “And I know I’m asking for a lot right now, but please forgive me.”

Lia closed her eyes.

She couldn’t see him, but his voice carried so many feelings and so many emotions that she couldn’t believe it was only because of what had happened at the bar. Which meant she had no idea what it could be about, and only reminded her of how little she knew about him. Of how foolish she had been.

“This isn’t fair, Harry. I can’t even… Why did you do that? Why did you…” The lump was back on her throat, and she stopped just to blink and swallow it down. “You have no idea how hard it was for me to go to the bar. How… How hard I had to convince myself I wouldn’t mess things up or… Embarrass you in front of other people… I just… I wanted to surprise you, y’know? Try harder just… Just for you, I guess… Or… I don’t know…”

“Lia, I’m sorry, I—”

“No.” She shook her head. “You put me on the spot, Harry. And that was just…”

She took a deep breath in, and her bottom lip quivered. So she squeezed her eyes shut and swallowed, forcing the few tears to roll down her cheeks.

“I was already so uncomfortable because of Rohan… He was making me so uncomfortable… And all I wanted was… I didn’t… I wasn’t there for him, y’know? I was there because of you… But then you…”

A soft, short sob left her mouth, and she brought her hand to cover her lips.

“God… I’m so stupid.”

From then on, it was hard to stop herself from fully crying. So she didn’t.

She let it all out.

All of it.

The sadness. The pain. The disappointment. The shock. The embarrassment.

She cried and allowed herself to be vulnerable in a way she hadn’t allowed herself to be before. And although it felt freaking terrifying, it also brought a new gigantic wave of relief inside her. It flooded through, and then it pushed her to keep going and going. As best as she could.

“You made fun of me, Harry… All this time you… You know how I feel about myself… And you made me feel so comfortable and… And so safe around you… And then you just…”

She shook her head, taking a moment to sob, and then catch her breath.

Behind her, Harry’s own heavy breathing guided the quick up and down of his chest. Other than that, though, he didn’t move one inch from the spot. Not while she cried, nor while she talked, nor while he spoke again.

“I’m… I’m sorry,” he murmured, unable to get rid of the scratchiness in his own voice. “I wish I could go back in time and take everything back but… But I can’t and… And I don’t know what to do to fix this… But please just let me try… Please.”

Lia sniffed and wriggled inside his arms, once again trying to turn around.

This time, Harry let her, withdrawing his hold and scooching back so she could have more space.

When she faced him, he took one hand up and rubbed under his nose, then across his cheek, quietly sniffing before sighing through his mouth.

“Sorry,” he breathed out, shaking his head.

In the darkness, she couldn’t see the details of his face, nor the specific shade of his green eyes, but she saw the tiredness, the sadness, and the guilt. All over him.

“I know I fucked up,” he said. “I know I did. And I’m sorry. I know it doesn’t change how I made you feel, but I really am. Would take it back if I could… I really would…”

She rearranged herself, and her pillow, leveling her head to stare directly at him.

She knew she could stop talking. She knew she probably should stop talking. She knew she had already made her point, and that she had explained herself. And, to be honest, she also wanted to make it easier for him, to just forget everything and move on. But she still had so much to say. And she had to say it. She had to be honest, because she couldn’t pretend the horrifying couple of hours between running back from the bar and finally falling asleep hadn’t happened. She couldn’t forget about herself just to make him feel better. And she couldn’t ignore her feelings just to protect his own. She had done it her entire life already, with everyone around her, and she couldn’t anymore. She just couldn’t.

Which was why, with all the softness and strength she carried inside her, she forced her thoughts into words and let them out of her mouth. One by one.

“You were really mean.”

“I know.”

“And it was just… Out of nowhere… I mean…” She sniffed again, then wiped the few still-falling and the many already-dried tears from her cheek. “What did I even do to you to treat me like that?”

Harry sighed and closed his eyes.

“It wasn’t… You did absolutely nothing wrong, Lee. It wasn’t about you.”

She furrowed her brows.

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

He shrugged, blinking and meeting her stare again. “Exactly that… I shouldn’t have done it. Shouldn’t have treated you like that, and shouldn’t have said any of that… But it wasn’t about you. You did nothing wrong.”

She drifted her eyes around his face. Around his puffy, tired, distressed face.

“Then why… Why did you do it?”

Harry took a deep breath in and turned on his back, facing the ceiling. Lifting both hands to his face, he rubbed up and down a few times, then slid his fingers up to his head and pulled his hair back.

“Harry…”

He shook his head. “I can’t.”

“You can’t?”

“No, I— I don’t… I mean I know I fucked things up but I… I don’t think I can explain it.”

Lia’s frown grew deeper.

“So why… Why are you here, then? What am I supposed to…” Shit. Her chest tightened, and she could feel the tears coming back. And she was just so tired of crying. “I— I don’t get it. Everything was fine and… Things were good… So why—”

“Were they, tho?” he asked, still facing the ceiling and dropping his hands to his chest. “Were you really happy with what we were doing? With… With me?”

Lia blinked, and her voice turned into barely a whisper as she asked, “Are you… What are you talking about?”

He took both of his hands up to his face again, covering his eyes with his palms.

“Fuck,” he breathed out. “I hate this.”

“Harry, what… What are you talking about? I don’t understand…”

“I swear to God if I lose you ‘cause I got jealous of Rohan.”

Lia blinked at him. Multiple times.

“Harry—”

“Of fucking Rohan, for fucks sake.”

“Harry,” she tried again, reaching one arm to touch his elbow. “You were jealous? Of Rohan?”

With a humorless, nervous laugh, he took his hands off his face and lifted them to the air.

“C’mon babe… You know that’s exactly what happened.”

She pulled her arm back to her chest, then stared at him.

Did she, though? Did she know jealousy was what had caused Harry’s behavior at the bar?

Looking down at his shoulder, she nibbled the insides of her bottom lip. Breathing slowly and gathering her thoughts together.

If there was one thing she could never understand, from the first moment they’d hung out at her place, it was why Harry constantly insisted on bringing Rohan up. She’d told him she didn’t care about his coworker, she’d told him they’d never talked outside the bar, and she’d told him the only moments when she thought about him were when he mentioned his name.

Still, Harry never gave up.

She knew Harry didn’t have a problem with Rohan, though, and that they were friends. Close friends. It wasn’t rare for him to text her saying that he would arrive a couple of minutes later because he was “chatting with Rohan”. Or to include his name when he told her a story about some adventure he had lived since arriving in the US, letting her know they spent time together off work as well.

So Harry liked to have Rohan in his life, Lia knew he did.

The only moments when he closed himself off around Rohan’s name, was when he made jokes about Lia and him fancying each other — which she had completely denied, more than once. So yes, part of her believed there was some type of jealousy behind his words, but he also never took it too far, so eventually she didn’t think of it as anything else but what they were: jokes.

Which was why after a while she’d given up on fighting him on it, just rolling her eyes or waving him off when the name suddenly popped up in a conversation. And then she didn’t think too much of it anymore, because it worked: Harry would make a joke, she would ignore it, and they would move on. And that was always it. Easy and simple.

However now, considering the earlier events at the bar, yes, it would be fair to assume there was something else going on, right? Something she didn’t know, and that maybe she should’ve tried to understand before.

Still, though, Harry snapping at her out of jealousy didn’t make sense. If he was jealous, then why didn’t he just… Maybe kiss her in front of him, or something like that? Why didn’t he tell Rohan they were… Something? Why didn’t Harry mention something about him being the reason why she was there?

If Harry was jealous, then why did he have to put her down, instead of making it clear to Rohan that he was the one spending time with her?

Wouldn’t that make more sense?

A sigh left her mouth.

That was exhausting, to be honest. She didn’t even understand jealousy that well. She wasn’t a jealous person, remember?

She was insecure, but not jealous.

So, out of ideas and explanations, she ended up asking, “Why were you jealous of him?”

It took him a moment, but, eventually, Harry shrugged.

And Lia frowned.

“We… We’ve been over this so many times already,” she whispered. “I told you I never thought about him… That… That it was never about him. I told you, Harry. So many times.”

“I know.” He nodded. “I know you did.”

“Then why were you jealous? I don’t get it.”

“I don’t know, Lia. I wasn’t thinking, ok? I just… I don’t know. I just wanted to prove a point.”

Lia felt herself furrowing her brows even deeper, anger bubbling up inside her. “What point? That I like your mojitos?”

Harry scoffed, and if the whole situation didn’t mean so much to her, Lia would’ve laughed. Because, yes, it sounded ridiculous.

“‘Course not, c’mon.”

“Then what?”

Harry sighed, but didn’t answer her.

His silence bothered her. Him not looking at her eyes bothered her. Him not making himself clear bothered her. Lia wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt, she really did, but fishing for answers didn’t feel fair. Not after what had happened. Not after the way he had treated her.

Why couldn’t he just explain himself?

If he wanted her forgiveness, why couldn’t he just talk to her?

“Harry,” she called, unable to hide the emotions behind her words, “will you please just look at me?”

Another sigh, and then he turned his head, looking at her while his body still faced the ceiling.

With the dim brightness of the new day creeping into the room, it got easier to see him. To make out the details of his face. To find the forest-green of his eyes.

And as soon as their gazes met, everything inside her softened. Because his own carried so much sadness, that it suddenly made sense he didn’t want to look at her — that he didn’t want her to look at him.

All she wanted right then and there was to hold him and make him feel better, but she didn’t know and she didn’t understand what he needed to feel better about. And it was frustrating, to be honest. Because he knew so much about her.

And Lia had opened to him and shared a lot, yes, but he also read her so well. And she couldn’t do the same with him. She couldn’t do the same for him. She couldn’t look at him and figure out what he needed to hear, or what she should do to make him feel better. She wanted to, but she couldn’t.

She just couldn’t.

“Talk to me,” she murmured, putting both hands under her cheek. “Please.”

He didn’t remove himself from inside her eyes, holding her stare as he murmured back to her, “It’s going to sound stupid.”

“It won’t.”

“Yes, it will.”

Lia shrugged. “Try me, then.”

Harry shook his head and looked back at the ceiling. He stood like that for a minute, both of them in silence while the room was filled by his heavy, deep breathing.

God… Why were there suddenly so many things to fix?

Why was it suddenly so hard for them to have a conversation?

“Don’t you think I deserve an explanation?” she tried. “To understand what’s going on… Or why you snapped at me that way?”

Harry closed his eyes and nodded. “You do… Of course you do… It’s just…”

Silence.

Lia knew better than to push someone when they seemed to be trying to put words together inside their minds, so she waited. She watched, and waited.

She waited while he rolled his tongue between his lips, while he frowned, and while he closed his hands into fists. She waited until it became clear that all of his thinking was becoming more painful than helpful, and then she decided it was time to intervene.

“Hey,” she said, reaching one hand and placing it on his shoulder, “I’m starting to get worried, y’know?”

Harry sighed, and his muscles relaxed under her touch. Blinking his eyes open, he shuffled and turned, fully facing her again. Lia pulled her hand away, but before she could move it too far, he grabbed it between his fingers and took it to his chest.

“Don’t be,” he murmured. “I’m just… I’m not like you, Lee. I don’t… I mean, I don’t know how to tell you what I’m thinking or how I’m feeling like you do. It’s not… It’s not easy for me.”

What the—

Lia frowned.

Was he seriously implying she was good at talking about her feelings?

“You know it’s not easy for me, either.”

He pulled one corner of his mouth up, so subtly it was almost impossible to notice, and brushed his thumb up and down the back of her hand.

“I know you don’t see it this way, but you are way better at expressing yourself than I am. You’re just… I mean, so honest and open about being insecure, and about things that make you sad, and—”

“Harry, that’s not—”

“No, let me just say this, please.” He squeezed her hand, and Lia pressed her lips together. “Because I know you don’t see it, but you are, and I really admire you for that. I mean, I don’t know how to talk about my feelings like you do. I don’t even stop to think about my feelings like that… I’m always just… Going for things, I guess. I don’t know. Whatever I want, I don’t think about it, I just go for it, y’know?”

Huh…

Lia blinked.

Well, she certainly didn’t know what that was like, but it made sense, didn’t it? If she thought about their moments together, it made sense. Not thinking or worrying too much — or at all — before doing something… It sounded a lot like him, yes.

Nothing like her, but a lot like him.

“So when I say that I can’t tell you what happened, or why I reacted that way, it’s not because I don’t want to tell you… It’s just… It’s because I really don’t know how to explain it… It’s like… Like I don’t know what was going through my mind… I just wasn’t thinking… I swear I wasn’t.”

Okay…

Lia could understand that. Or at least she could see where he was coming from with that.

For a long time, before therapy, Lia also used to believe she wasn’t thinking when she reacted to things. It took a lot of effort, time, and guidance from Dr. Reisman for her to learn that there wasn’t such a thing, and that her thoughts — the ones she thought she didn’t have — were in fact the ones driving her to the daily anxiety attacks she used to have.

Then once she became aware of them, it became easier to control things. Not easy, but easier.

She still struggled a lot to stop the thoughts, sure, but at least she was aware of them. And she’d found ways to manage at least some. Not all, but some.

She was halfway there, wasn’t she?

The most interesting part, though, was that she had never stopped to think about it. Not like that, at least — about how different it used to be in the past. And about how better she had gotten at it. Sometimes it was so difficult and exhausting in the present, that it was hard to see she’d improved at all.

Technically, she knew she was better… She told herself she was better. All the time. She reminded herself that it wasn’t like it used to be, but she hadn’t felt the difference yet. Not like that, at least. Not so… Deeply, maybe? Or like it was part of her? Or like she could see it right in front of her? Like she could grasp the improvement between her fingers and own it? And do whatever she wanted to do with it?

She wasn’t... She wasn’t sure... It was hard to explain, but it was real... Very real. The difference, that is. It felt real now.

“And I’m not trying to say I wasn’t wrong, ok?” Harry added. “Or… I don’t know… Pretend I shouldn’t have thought before being such an asshole. Because I know I should have… I swear I know… And I know I fucked up and… Fuck, I know I hurt you. As soon as I looked at your face… That was just… I mean I really wish I could take it all back. Wish I could do everything differently… So I’m really sorry, Lia. I am. You have to believe how sorry I am, and that I—”

“I know,” she said, squeezing her fingers around his. “I believe you. I know.”

Despite a tiny voice inside her mind telling her that she shouldn’t, Lia pulled her hand away from his grip, then placed it on his cheek. He closed his eyes, and she brushed her thumb up and down, eying the way his facial hair moved under her touch.

“I hate that I did that to you,” he murmured.

And Lia believed he did, but she also wasn’t ready to let him know that. She wasn’t ready to let him know she was one step away from falling back into his arms, because she still wasn’t sure it was the right path for her to take.

So, instead, she offered, “I know what you mean by not being able to explain what you were thinking.”

“You do?”

“Mhm… It wasn’t always like this for me, y’know? Took me years of… Of therapy… I had to learn how to understand what was going inside my head and what I was feeling and… It wasn’t easy… I mean, I’m still learning…” She shrugged. “So… Yeah. I get it. And it wouldn’t be fair for me to expect you to just… Know how to do it, y’know?”

Harry nodded, curling his mouth up.

“Maybe I could use some therapy sessions, then.”

Lia’s mouth twitched up, too. “There would be nothing wrong with it if you did.”

She stroked his chin, enjoying the way his stubble scratched her thumb.

“I know.” Blinking his eyes open, he looked at her for a moment, then grabbed her hand and slid it up to his mouth. He kissed the pad of her thumb, and kissed it again, before slowly taking their hands back to his chest and squeezing her fingers while he spoke. “Look, to be honest I don’t… I don’t think I ever did this before? Like… Talking about these kinds of things. I don’t think I… I ever had to? Or needed to? I don’t know… It’s just… I’m not used to it, I guess… Usually I’m the one listening or… I don’t know.”

“Well… It is usually harder for men to talk about it.” Lia shrugged. “At school I’ll see the difference between boys and girls even when they’re so young and it’s just so… Crazy, like… I sometimes don’t even know how it starts… When it starts… But suddenly one day most of the boys are trying to pretend they aren’t hurting while most of the girls are crying and talking non-stop about what happened to them… And we try to change that, y’know? For the boys, I mean… We try to teach them all about emotions and how to name their feelings and stuff but… Yeah… It’s not easy, so I think it’s— What? Why are you looking at me like this?”

Harry shrugged, smiling deeply into her eyes.

“Nothing,” he said. “I like when you get all chatty, that’s all.”

Heat spread to her cheeks, and she chuckled, nervously.

“Stop…”

“I mean it. I know I’ve said this before but… You don’t give yourself enough credit, y’know? For a lot of things, and you should. You’re so smart and—”

“Okay. You’re just trying to change the subject now.”

He laughed. “‘M not! I was just really happy listening to you… That’s all…”

“Right…” She swallowed, pulling her hand away from him and turning on her back. “Okay, forget about it.”

Tilting her head to the opposite side and looking through the window, Lia finally saw the different shades of orange lightening up the sky. She had no idea how long they’d been there, talking, and she still had no idea what time, exactly, it was, but at least now she knew the new day was officially starting.

Which meant it didn’t even take her twelve hours to forgive him.

Shit.

Was that the right move?

Was that the right thing to do?

Was she being naive?

Was there something she couldn’t see between the lines? Behind his actions?

Was she ignoring the red flags?

“Hey,” Harry said, placing his hand on her shoulder. “I’m sorry. I really didn’t mean to change the subject. I just… I blurted out what was on my mind, that’s all… Which now I see is clearly something I need to work on…”

Lia pressed her lips together, trying her best to hold back a smile.

God, she liked him so much.

“Also, I don’t want you to think I’m not taking what happened seriously,” he added, his voice getting as deep as his words felt. “I was listening to what you were saying, and I… It makes sense, yeah. I don’t think I was ever encouraged to talk about my feelings at home, but I can see that all of my sisters were and… Yeah, I mean, it makes sense. There’s a difference. I’m not sure if the difference back home has anything to do with gender, or if it’s because we have different dads, but… Anyway, yes, there’s definitely a difference. And see? I was listening.”

Lia closed her eyes.

God, there was just so much new information.

Did she already know Harry’s dad wasn’t his sisters’ dad? She didn’t think so. She couldn’t remember talking about it with him.

Was that also something she should’ve paid attention to?

Was that something she had missed about him?

Oh God.

See?

Too much new information.

“I promise I was listening,” he added.

Lia sighed, then blinked her eyes open once again.

“I know you were, Harry,” she said, looking at the sunrise happening on the other side of her window. “This is just… It’s really weird for me, ok? I’m scared of… I don’t know, I mean… You really hurt my feelings last night… And that was just hours ago, but here I am now laughing with you and… And thinking about all these questions I’d like to ask about your family because I… Because I want to know more things about you and get to know you better, y’know? And it’s just… What if I’m… What if I’m forgiving you too easily? What if I’m moving on too fast from what happened?”

She turned her head, looking back at him.

“I don’t want you to think that I’m okay with what you did, Harry. Or that I… I don’t know… That I’ll always forgive you when you hurt my feelings.”

Harry shook his head.

“I promise— I promise that’s not what I think.”

“And just because I understand that you’re not comfortable or used to talk about your feelings and stuff, it doesn’t mean that I should just accept you treating me like that.”

“I know.” He nodded. “And you’re right.”

“I know I overreact a lot of times, but this time didn’t feel like overreacting. The things you said… I mean it was one thing when you didn’t know me, but now? You knew how much those words would hurt me, and you still said them.”

He groaned, then, turning his head into the pillow and closing his eyes. He stood like that for a moment, and then he looked back at her, his eyes almost pleading for her to believe him. “See, that’s the thing, babe. I wasn’t—I swear to God I wasn’t thinking.”

“Oh, c’mon.” Heat flushed through her body, and she could feel a wave of anger throbbing inside her chest. Not just bubbling, but pulsing. All through her veins. A feeling that she wasn’t very used to, and that she mostly ignored, but that seemed ready to explode. Ready to take over every inch of her. And that she wasn’t so sure she would be able to manage if it did. “Yes, you were thinking those things, Harry. You didn’t stop yourself from saying it, but you blurted out what was on your mind, didn’t you? So… You were thinking about it.”

“Yes, but… Ugh.” He shook his head, then rubbed one hand up and down his face. “I swear, I would never intentionally say those things to hurt you.”

“But you did, Harry!” She kicked her quilt away from her body and sat on her bed. “You put me on the spot when you asked about the mojitos, you pressured me when I couldn’t answer, and you made fun of me because I didn’t speak.”

“I know,” he mumbled.

“All those things I hate the most and that freak me out the most.”

“I know.”

“The things I talked to you about. That I cried to you about.”

“I know.”

“Did the cat…” She shook her head. “I can’t… Can’t even say it. That was just so mean.”

“I know. Fuck, Lia, I know.”

“Then why did you do it, Harry?”

“I don’t—”

“—If you knew about it—”

“—It wasn’t—”

“If you knew all these things and if you knew what those words meant to me, then why did you say them? Huh? Why?”

“Because, Lia!” He threw his hands up in the air and stared at the ceiling. “Because I’m immature and stupid, ok?! Because I wanted you to say that yes, you liked my mojitos better than Rohan’s. That’s all it was, ok? I wanted you to say yes, for fucks sake. That’s all.”

Lia blinked at him. With wide eyes, rapid heartbeat and tight lungs. She just… Blinked.

Harry sighed, and surrounded by nothing but shocked silence, sat on the bed as well. Seconds went by as he pushed the covers away, with so much force that the quilt almost ended on the floor, and then shuffled back to lean his back against the headboard.

Bending his legs, he rested his arms on his knees, then watched his hands while he entangled his own fingers together.

And Lia just… Watched him.

Because she hadn’t noticed it before, but Harry was wearing joggers. And a yellow t-shirt. And socks.

For the first time since they’d started… Well, whatever what-they-had was, Harry was wearing clothes to bed. And it felt just so… Weird. Almost wrong. Like she wanted to ask him why and what are you doing and please take it all off.

“It wasn’t because of you, Lia,” Harry said, voice much softer than seconds earlier, and Lia glanced back at his face. He was focusing on his fingers, as if he was reading words written on them. “I wasn’t… I wasn’t trying to hurt your feelings. I was just being selfish and trying to prove a point to Rohan. So I don’t… I don’t know… I just… Honestly it didn’t cross my mind that I was pointing those specific things out. I just… I figured if I pushed a little bit harder you would answer and say mine were better, that’s all. But because that’s what people usually do under pressure, y’know? Not because… I mean I wasn’t… It wasn’t personal. Fuck I know I’m an asshole for this, but I wasn’t thinking about how those words would affect you, personally… I swear I wasn’t trying to point out things you’re insecure about, Lia. I swear.”

She swallowed, then nodded, crossing her legs and grabbing a pillow to hold on her lap.

“So…” Staring down at her own hands, she fiddled with the pillowcase, trying to focus her energy on something just so she could keep her voice — and herself — together. “So you completely forgot about me… And you forgot everything we ever talked about and… And you ignored my feelings to… To what? Prove your mojitos are better?”

“Fuck, no Lia…”

She looked at him, catching the moment he dropped his head back and mumbled at the ceiling, “Of course not.”

“It is what you just said, Harry.”

“But that’s not— I mean I didn’t— I wasn’t— Jesus Christ…” He laughed, nervously, shaking his head and dropping it down. “Why is this is so fucking hard?”

Impatience took hold of her, and she rolled her eyes. “Harry… Why are you jealous of Rohan?”

Silence.

“You keep bringing him all the time.”

More silence.

“Even though I told you that I’m not interested.”

“He is, though,” he said, staring down and away from her. “You know he is.”

“So you don’t trust me, is that it?”

That got his attention, because he snapped his head up and looked at her again.

“What?”

“You think he’ll flirt with me and what? I’ll forget about you and bring him back here? Even though I said I don’t want him?”

“I don’t—”

“Do you really think I would do that to you?”

“No… Of course not… You’re not— Fuck… Again, this is not about you, Lia.”

“Oh my God, Harry! Then what is it about? Huh?! If it’s not about me, it’s not about mojitos… Then what the hell is it about?! Huh? What?!”

“Me, for fucks sake!” he snapped, right into her eyes. “Me, ok? It’s about me! Not you, not mojitos… Me, Lia. Me!”

He dropped his head between his arms and closed his eyes, turning his voice into a whisper, “Shit. It’s about me, for fucks sake.”

Lia shut her mouth, and blinked.

The early morning sun hit her back, and also Harry’s body, brightening him up even though there was not one single inch of him that matched the joyful and cheerful spirit of a new day.

There was absolutely nothing she could say to him, though. Just like there was absolutely nothing she could do to react. She had a feeling he was as shocked about his outburst as she was. That he had not only just admitted something to her, but to himself as well.

It wasn’t about her, and it wasn’t about the mojitos… It was about him. About Harry.

That’s what he had said — but what did it even mean?

“Look,” he murmured, opening his eyes, but not moving any other inch of his body. “When we first met you at the bar we talked about you, ok? We were just being stupid, and it wasn’t supposed to mean anything, but you were pretty, and you were there by yourself, so after I got your order I mentioned something to him… And then we joked about who should come up to you and keep you some company or… I don’t know, something like that.”

His voice was low, and slower than usual, as if he was using all the strength inside him to get his words out. And Lia didn’t want to risk saying something and ruining the moment, so she did nothing but sit there and listen to what he had to say.

“It was really, really stupid, but we decided that you wouldn’t date a guy like me, and that Rohan was your type.” He sighed, then immediately kept going, “That’s why he was the one who asked for your name, and that’s why he kept getting your orders. Then every time you would go to the bar, the joke between us was that he was your guy, not me, ok? And I think… I mean it wasn’t supposed to be like a real thing… But it just… It stuck somehow. It’s like it made sense, y’know? Because you were just… I mean, you would barely look at me… Or talk to me… But you would always smile and laugh with him, so…” He shrugged. “I mean, now that I know you Lee, I get that a lot of times we read things wrong, ok? But for a long time the joke between me and Rohan was that you were afraid of me, or that I made you nervous, or shit like that, and that the only person you felt comfortable with was him. So he would always be around to rescue you or something like that… I don’t know. It doesn’t even make sense when I say it out loud.” He shook his head, then dropped his shoulders. “Like I said, it was really stupid. And it was supposed to be a joke, y’know? We just… We spend so much time there and sometimes there’s not a lot to do and we just… I don’t know, turn into stupid people I guess. But, yeah, anyway… It’s stupid, but that joke stuck somehow. At least for me.”

He paused, taking a long, slow and deep breath in, and then added, “So last night, when I saw you laughing with him, I just… I asked about the mojitos but it wasn’t even about that, y’know? And I didn’t mean to put you on the post or make fun of you… And I swear I didn’t want to hurt your feelings… God I really didn’t want to hurt your feelings, Lee… I don’t want to be that guy… But I just… It was about me… I just wanted you to… I mean, I wanted you to say that…”

Harry shook his head, then sighed. “Fuck.”

Lia took a deep breath in, swallowing down hard as her throat grew tight and her eyes burned.

Oh my God.

So… That’s what it was all about…

Harry wanted her to say she preferred him over Rohan.

Right?

Or was she reading it wrong?

No, no she wasn’t…

It wasn’t about her saying his mojitos were her favorite, Harry wanted her to choose him over Rohan.

And it was so obvious.

And yet she would have never imagined it.

“Fuck,” he breathed out and chuckled, as nervously as she had never seen him. Taking his hands to the back of his head and tangling his fingers with his curls. “I can’t…”

“Harry…” She pushed the pillow to the side and crawled to where he sat, kneeling next to him. “Stop.”

“This is embarrassing—”

“No, it’s not—”

“—and really stupid—”

“Harry. It’s not. It’s really not.”

She couldn’t find any more words to say, though. All she could think about was how wrong Harry was. How wrong he had been all along. How he’d never noticed how deeply into him she was. How he didn’t know he was the only reason why she kept going at the bar over and over again, how he had no idea about how much she had thought about him, or about the things her body used to feel when she saw him there.

Lia had spent almost an entire year feeling turned on and fantasizing about Harry, and all along he’d been thinking Rohan was her type, and not him.

She shook her head and sighed.

“Harry, listen to me. You have no idea how wrong you guys were about all this… I mean, the only reason why I used to go to the bar was to see you, ok? Not Rohan. You.”

Harry raised his head and turned it to the side, looking at her over his shoulder with a frown on his face.

“I’ve been so… Oh God… Please don’t laugh at me, but… I was sooo attracted to you… And I mean, from the very first day, okay?… It was—It was ridiculous, really… I had this stupid, but very real crush on you and… And I never really cared about Rohan… I mean I would talk to him because he talked to me, but… It was you, y’know?” She shrugged and chuckled. “God, I would even try to go on Wednesdays just because I knew Rohan wouldn’t be there and you’d be forced to talk to me… And… And even when Jillie and Molly went to the bar… I invited them because… Well, because I wanted them to meet you and—”

“You’re kidding me, right?”

“Of— Of course not… Why would I? I mean… That’s why I told you so many times that it was never about Rohan… Because, y’know… Because it wasn’t. And it still isn’t. It’s just… Well, you."

Harry blinked, flickering his eyes between hers, and then he murmured, “You told your friends about me?”

Lia tilted her head and shrugged, a smile growing at what he had chosen to focus on.

“That I had a crush on you? Yeah.”

Harry flinched his chin back.

“Then why are you embarrassed to tell them about me now?”

And then Lia flinched her head back.

“Who said I’m embarrassed?”

“You lied to Molly… On the phone. You didn’t want to tell her about me.”

Oh…

Lia’s smile faded away, and she swallowed.

“You lied about spending time with me.”

“Well— I— Yeah, but… But it wasn’t because I was embarrassed of you, Harry. I— I never said I was embarrassed, did I?”

Harry shrugged.

“Well, you didn’t have to. You just…”

“I just what?”

“There were little things, y’know?”

“What little things?”

“I mean you lied to your friends, you didn’t want to go anywhere with me, you wouldn’t let me drive you to work, you didn’t go to the bar anymore… Should I keep going?”

Oh God.

“And you thought… You thought all that was because I… Because I was embarrassed? Of you?”

Harry shrugged. “What else was I supposed to think?”

She opened her mouth, but then she closed it again.

Oh my God!

She’d never imagined those thoughts would cross Harry’s mind. Never.

All that time, Lia had thought he had been reading her mind. She was sure he understood why she was acting that way, that he knew she was too shy, too insecure, too afraid. She was sure he knew. That’s why she hadn’t said anything.

Plus, he had never seemed bothered. Quite the opposite, in fact. Harry was always too understanding with her, he never made her feel bad about saying no, although she always ended up feeling bad anyway (but because she was, again, sure he would get tired of her dramas, not because she thought she was hurting him).

Everything she’d done so far to keep them a secret, had always been related to her own flaws, and never about him. She never thought there was something wrong with him.

If anything, as far as Lia knew, at any point Harry would end up leaving her because she wasn’t enough. Because he would get tired and embarrassed of her. And not the other way around.

“I mean, it’s fine. We never talked about it, so… It’s not like you have to introduce me to everyone in your life if you don’t want to. Maybe you don’t plan on me staying around, or—”

“Harry, no, stop, stop.” She shuffled closer and reached for his arm, placing both hands on him to hold herself. “I didn’t— I wasn’t— Oh my God.” She shook her head, sitting on her heels. “I did all that just because… Because I don’t want you to be embarrassed of me, okay? I just… I mean, in my mind we’ll go out, then I’ll do something stupid and you’ll get tired of me and… And then you’ll leave me, okay? And because I’m freaking terrified of you leaving me, I keep trying to play it safe… That’s all. I just… There’s absolutely nothing wrong with you, I don’t want to hide you. And I’m not embarrassed. I mean, are you kidding me? That’s not—That doesn’t even make sense to me!”

Harry licked his lips, took a deep breath in, and eventually exhaled loudly through his nose. Staring into her eyes, he stretched his legs and let one hand fall to his lap, then took his other one to place Lia’s hair behind her ear.

“Just like to me there’s absolutely nothing wrong with you, and it doesn’t make sense that I would leave you?” he asked, brushing her cheek with the back of his hand before he dropped his arm down. “Or that you would embarrass me?”

“I—That’s… It’s not—It’s not the same, okay? That’s just… That’s because we haven’t left the house. Because here it’s easy and you don’t have to deal with me freaking out or being extremely awkward every time something happens. I act like a child sometimes, okay? And it’s embarrassing.”

“Lee… C’mon… I wish you would stop putting yourself down so much—”

“Yeah, well, me too—”

“—But also, I wish you would give me the chance to prove you wrong, you know? ‘Cause I would love to be there, next to you, squeezing your hand so you stop overthinking. Or holding you so you don’t feel alone, or awkward, or whatever. I want to be there when you need someone… I just… I just want to be there for you, you know? Openly. Not just here. Everywhere.”

Lia blinked.

“Lee…” Harry tilted his head, the corner of his mouth curling up. “You’ve got me so wrapped around your finger, it’s almost ridiculous. I think you’re the only one who doesn’t see it… Sagey keeps teasing me about it every single night.”

She bit her lip, then looked down at his shoulder.

“Sage knows about me.”

It wasn’t a question, because she knew Sage knew. She’d made it obvious at the bar, the night before.

“She does, yeah. Since I asked her to cover for me that first night… And some other times.”

Lia nodded.

“But you didn’t tell Rohan.”

Harry shrugged. “I thought you didn’t want me to. Thought you didn’t want anyone to know.”

“I don’t mind people knowing.”

“Then why did you lie to your friends?”

“Because…” She sighed, then shuffled even closer and rested her forehead on his shoulder. When she spoke again, she made sure to turn her voice into just a shy murmur, “Because I’m afraid as soon as I tell them, this will end. And I don’t want this to end.”

He took one hand to the back of her head, gently entangling his fingers with her hair and scratching her scalp. “Lee, it’s not going to end.”

“You don’t know that, okay? You don’t know what will happen tomorrow, or next week, or next year. You just don’t.”

“Ok, fine… Maybe I don’t see the future, but I’m here right now, and I’m willing to stay. For as long as you’ll let me. Can’t you see that, at least? I mean, we’ve been doing this for two months now, and it might not seem like a lot of time to you but… I’m not playing around, Lee. I’m really not.”

Lia’s belly fluttered, and her chest expanded with a warm, joyful feeling that quickly, and easily, took over all of her body. She couldn’t help the smile, then, and as her face lit up with happiness, she placed her hand on his chest and leaned further into his shoulder.

To hear him say all that was exactly what she wanted. That he wasn’t playing around, that he wanted to stay. That he wanted to be with her.

And she wanted to believe him — part of her already did, to be honest. But how could she be sure that she wasn’t being led on? How could she be sure that she wasn’t being too naive? That she wasn’t caving in and forgetting herself too easily?

She sighed, and happiness just as quickly faded away from her face.

“I did see that,” she admitted, resting her face on his shoulder and looking at her own hand, twisted around the yellow fabric on his chest. “So I told myself I should stop doubting so much, and I convinced myself to go to the bar. Thought you had already invited me enough times and I should stop freaking out about it… That it wouldn’t be so bad. And then… Well… Look where we are now.”

Harry sighed, then took his hand to his face.

Still resting on his shoulder, Lia caught the way he rubbed his fingers over his closed eyes, then followed the movement of his arm when he dropped it back to his lap. Almost defeated.

“I’m sorry,” he said. “I really am. I don’t— I don’t even know what to say. I hate that I can’t take it back. Last time should’ve been completely different. And I just… I don’t want you to think this is who I am. Or that this is something that could happen again… I mean I should… I should’ve mentioned there was something bothering me… Things kept building up and I…” He paused, then shook his head. “I don’t think I realized how much things were bothering me until tonight. When I saw you with Rohan I just… I guess I just lost it. I don’t know. He was just all over you and I know how adorable you get when you’re all shy and blushing and… I just hated the thought of you being there with him and not with me. And I hated even more that I couldn’t do anything about it.”

“But I wasn’t—”

“I know.” Harry nodded, looking at the bedroom door. “I know. It made sense when I thought you didn’t want people to know about me. Now it sounds just stupid. I was stupid… I’m sorry.”

Lia didn’t know what to say anymore. Everything felt too messy to see any rights or wrongs. Harry’s words at the bar still felt unforgivable, but now she also couldn’t imagine what must’ve felt for him all those times he thought she didn’t want people to know about him. That she was embarrassed of him.

So even though she was supposed to be mad, and even though she was supposed to stand up for herself and let him know that she couldn’t be with someone who could treat her like that, she also felt conflicted with guilt. Because she hadn’t treated him fairly either. She knew she hadn’t.

And it wasn’t even a matter of him twisting the facts, or the truths, to make her feel guilty. It was him letting her know how her own actions had led him to believe she didn’t want to be seen in public with him. Which was exactly what she feared the most from others. Which was exactly what she feared the most from him.

Wasn’t that crazy?

With a sigh, Lia snuggled even closer to his body. Except her chest was already pressed against his side, his elbow poking her stomach and her cheek sinking on his shoulder, so there wasn’t any way to get closer than she already was.

Which really sucked, because it didn’t feel enough.

But then Harry must’ve noticed her fidgeting, because he moved his arms to circle her waist in a gentle hug, then tugged her onto his lap.

Lia climbed on him eagerly, but also shyly. Hiding her face on his neck and hugging him back as much as she could while her knees rested on each side of his hips.

Harry squeezed his hold around her, too, crushing her into his chest like he wanted to make sure no inch of her could slip away.

“I’m really, really sorry, Lee,” he murmured.

Lia nodded, then moved to press a kiss to his neck.

It was the first and only thing her instincts told her to do, and it ended up feeling more meaningful than any word she could say. Not only for her, but for Harry, too, because he relaxed underneath her. So deeply that it was easy to feel the way all his muscles loosened up as he breathed out loudly through his nose. Like the heaviest weight had been lifted off.

And because he seemed to like that so much, and because he seemed to be needing affection so badly, Lia kissed him again. And again. And then she slid her hands to the back of his neck and sat a little more upright on his lap, and kissed him again. And again. And again.

Harry sighed and squeezed her sides, head tilting to the side as he offered her more space and more skin to explore. A silent invitation that Lia took as encouragement to keep going, of course. Making sure to skim her lips over those unshaved spots she loved so much, but also trying her best to offer some reassurance with her words. Wanting things to be as clear as possible for him.

“I’m not playing around, either,” she murmured. “And I’m not embarrassed of you, okay? I swear I’m not.”

She brushed her nose up and down his throat, taking his natural scent in before parting her lips and kissing him again. Making it just a little bit wetter and just a little bit needier than before.

Harry hummed, then, dropping his head back and letting his hands fall to the curve behind her bent knees. As if his body had lost all the strength. For once and for all.

Everything inside her quivered at his reaction. It felt so good to have him melting like that because of her. So, so good, that she couldn’t bring herself to stop. So she kissed him again, and again, raking her fingers through the back of his head while moving to the other side of his throat and pampering him all over again. Through his jaw, his temple, and his cheek. Kissing all over that beautiful, beautiful face.

“You have to believe I don’t want him, tho,” she said. “And that I wouldn’t do that to you… I wouldn’t be with you and… And then flirt with him, or go out with him or… Or I don’t know… Anything like that.”

Pressing one last kiss under his ear, Lia got taller on her knees and tilted her chin down, watching him as she towered him.

Harry didn’t even try to hide how much he was enjoying all the attention, sitting at her mercy with his head dropped back and his eyes closed. Breathing deeply through his nose. Chest moving up and down faster and heavier each second.

It made her body tingle, and heat spread from head to toe.

“Not only him,” she added, and then swallowed — unable to hide how affected she was by the mere sight in front of her, “but anyone else… I could never do something like that… I promise I wouldn’t. You believe that, right?”

Harry opened his eyes, landing straight into her stare. Intense green eyes burying into her as he licked his lips and swallowed, then finally spoke again. “Yes. I trust you. I know you wouldn’t.”

“Good.” She curled her lips up, stroking the back of his head while she turned her voice into a playful tone. “Because, I mean… I can barely make things work with one guy… There’s no way I could ever date two at the same time.”

Harry’s mouth curled up in slow motion, offering the softest and kindest smile before he shook his head and broke into laughter.

The room lit up with the joyful sound, and Harry suddenly sat upright, causing Lia to yelp and lose her balance. He quickly placed his arms around her waist, though, keeping her safe and close to him as he dropped their bodies onto the mattress and flipped them over.

Lia fell on her back with a quiet gasp, hair all tangled on her face as Harry crawled to lay on top of her.

“Thank God for that,” he teased, lips stuck in the same happy smile while he held his upper body on one elbow and used his other hand to help her get rid of the curtain hiding her eyes. “And I would rather if you don’t even try, to be honest… Keep this just between us… Told you I’m not good at sharing.”

Lia nodded, once again meeting his stare. “And I told you you’re not… Sharing me.”

“Mhmm…” Harry nodded, too, then leaned down and brushed their noses together. “You did, yeah…” He took his hand down to her hips and sneaked it under her t-shirt, pulling the fabric up as he settled and squeezed around her waist. “All mine, right?”

Another nod, although more meaningful this time. Slower. Calculated. A nod that came along with the touch of her hands sliding up his neck, then finding the perfect spot around his jaw to cradle his face between her palms.

“All yours,” she murmured.

Harry’s smile got bigger, and Lia brushed her thumbs up and down his cheeks, watching him flutter his eyes shut for a moment. When he focused back on her, they only stared at each other for one second before she drifted her gaze to his mouth. And then he leaned in, his nose cozying next to hers as he pressed his lips to hers so gently that Lia was afraid her imagination was painfully tricking her.

Everything was real, though. Very real. She felt it deeply in her core when he barely pulled back to speak again. His voice suddenly low, thick and slow. Suddenly full of intention. Suddenly full of determination.

“Can I show you how much that means to me, then?” he asked, moving his hand up to her ribcage. “Can I show you how much I appreciate you? And how sorry I am for what I did?”

Lia swallowed, and nodded. Apparently incapable of reacting any other way.

“Yeah? You sure?” he teased, capturing her lips for a new kiss. A slow kiss. A very soft and a very calm kiss. A kiss that matched the relief and affection of his touch as he traced underneath her breast with his fingertips and drifted his nails across her skin.

A kiss that had Lia closing her eyes and sliding her hands to the back of his head while her entire body crumbled underneath him. And a kiss that eventually had her parting her mouth and whispering the only thought crossing her mind, “You can do whatever you want.”

Harry’s lips turned into a smirk against her mouth, but he never pulled away. Nor gave her time to regret her sincere words as he moved his hand further up her chest and sped things up.

From then on, Harry remained true to his word. He kissed her and touched her like he meant it. He made her sigh and throb like he owned her. And he made her feel like she was the most precious thing he’d ever had.

He made up for all the tears, and for all the pain. He made up for all the hurtful words.

He rewrote his mistakes as he whispered sweet things to her ear. As he praised her body, her actions, her sounds.

And he proved his point of how much he appreciated and how much he wanted her to be his. Over and over again.

His, his, his, and only his.

“You’re mine, ok?” he grunted when he was already lost and deep inside her, holding her down and snapping their hips together as words kept rolling out his mouth. “All mine… Every… Single… Part of you… Ok?... Ok?”

And Lia was so far gone that she couldn’t even think about an answer. But she knew she was.

She knew she had been his since the very first day she’d met him. And she knew it was too late for her to pretend she hadn’t been thoroughly consumed by everything she felt for him. By all of the fantasies that had eventually come true. And by the reality that had turned out to be even better than any scenario she’d ever dreamed.

She was his. Of course she was. Harry’s, Harry’s, Harry’s. Every single inch of her. His. And only his.

And as Lia shivered and the bubble of pleasure finally burst inside her, the only thing left for her to hope was that she wasn’t making a fool of herself.

And that Harry was only hers, too.

#harry styles fanfic #harry styles au #harry styles writing

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maxillness · 11 months ago

Text

Secret Love Song || LH44 x Russell!Reader

Warnings: 18+, unprotected sex, age-gap, degrading kink, praise kink, sub!lewis

Wordcount: 1.4k

“Oh, fuck. Just like that, baby” He moaned from above her. His hands were tangled in her hair as his back was pushed up against the door of his drivers room

“Your lips feel so good around me” He couldn’t stop praising her, even though he knew she was gonna be in charge when they got to her place after the race later

“Fuck, you look so pretty like this; saliva dripping down your chin, red cheeks, my cock in your mouth” His body was starting to sweat as he twitched in her mouth

“Just like that. Fucking hell, I’m gonna-“ He didn’t get to finish his sentence before he shot his hot loath down her throat

She stood up as she swallowed his cum. He zipped his trousers back up before kissing her tenderly “I’m gonna return the favour when we get to your place after the race, okay love?”

“If you win” She kissed his cheek before leaving the room. They both managed to get back to the others without being seen leaving his drivers room

“Where were you?” George asked her with a hint of concern in his voice

“I was just at the bathroom, no need to worry your pants” She chuckled as she walked over to him

“I’m just looking out for you” He said with soft eyes

“George, I’m 20, you don’t need to look out for me anymore” He had always protected her through out their childhood, he was worse then their parents

“You’re right. I’m sorry”

Normally after her and Lewis had fucked or she would have sucked him off, they would be clingy with each other. Her lips would be all over him. On his lips, cheek, neck, throat, chest, stomach, anywhere they could be, they would be

But they couldn’t this time. Nobody knew they were together, and god forbid they ever told anyone, her brother would absolutely destroy him, both on and outside the track

I wanna kiss you so bad rn

She heard the ping of the message she had sent across the garage. She looked over to Lewis who had picked up his phone. He looked over at her before typing

I want to kiss you too love, but you know we can’t <3

She knew it was true, but what if they fucked with the rules? What if they stood in the corner and it was just a little peck before going back to talk to people they were talking to before

Win the race and my lips will be all over you ;)

She smiled as she sent the text. She looked over at Lewis who was blushing hard. He was talking with Bono who looked confused at him

She could hear their conversation, but she guessed Lewis’ excuse for his slightly red cheeks would be something like it was hot in the garage

It gave her some kind of rush, knowing she was the only one to draw this kind of reaction out of him

It also made her folds wet, but she would never dare to tell him that

She spend the rest of the day in the garage, sending him texts with either different kinds of praises, promises to fuck him when he wins, or wishes about the two of them

You’re always doing so good for me

You better do good on the track, Hamilton

I’m gonna fuck you dumb when you win

I’m gonna fuck your brains out

I wish you could hold me in your arms

I wish you could kiss me before your race

Every time she sent a text, she looked over at Lewis who would just blush harder every time, if that was even possible

Her brother had questioned her multiple times who she was texting, but she would always say it was one of her friends

Like wise did he ask Lewis, who said it was either his parents, his neighbour who was sitting Roscoe, or one of his friends

Stop sending me all those text love

Why? I can see you like them <3

She looked over at him, eyes went down to his slight boner in his trousers

You drive me crazy woman

At least I fuck as good as I drive you crazy ;)

He won the race, of course. I mean, if he hadn’t my won, maybe he wouldn’t get to fuck his teammates sister

“You need a lift home?” George asked her

“No thanks, George” She didn’t give him a reason why, but he brushed it off like he was used to it

“You did so good, baby” Her hand was on his inner thigh as he drove them to her apartment. His breath was heavier as her handed hockey closer to the place where he needed her the most

“Thank you, love” He said, his words almost getting caught in his throat. Her hand started stroking his thigh, making him harder by every stroke

They had barely entered the apartment when Lewis was all over her. His hands on her waist, pulled close to him as his lips were on hers and her hands were on his ass, squeezing him every so often

“Fuck, I want to return the favour, love” His lips traveled over to her jaw

“Then get to the bedroom, Lew” Her hands traveled him to stroke his sides

“No, I want you now” He backed her back so her ass hit the dinning table “Please” His hands went to the back of her thighs, lifting her up on the table

“Lewis, we should go to the bedroom” He had already gone to his knees as she spoke

He didn’t listen to her words, he instead proceeded to pull her closer to the edge of the table. He lifted her skirt up, giving him access to pull down her panties as she bucked her hips

She gave in, and let him do what he wanted to her. He threw her panties the floor beside them before spreading her knees, giving him more access to her cunt

He pulled one of her legs over his shoulder before darting his tongue out to lick through her folds

She moaned at the contact between his tongue and her clit. He flicked over it with his tongue as he entered her with on of his fingers

As her moans started getting loud, he inserted another finger “What wouldn’t your teammate think, huh? If he knew how you fuck his little sister” He hummed at her words giving her extra pleasure

She bucked her hips into his face, grinding on his tongue she came close to her orgasm “Fuck, baby. You’re doing so good for me” Hs Eleanor’s her head back, rolling her eyes into the back of her head “Fuck, I’m gonna cum”

A few more thrusts of his fingers and flicks of his tongue, and she came around his fingers. He rode out her high before pulling out of her and standing up

She got to the ground “The bedroom, Lew” He kissed her quick before going to the bedroom

She chuckled at his eagerness. She walked into the bedroom, seeing him already stripped naked and laid on the bed

“Good. You’re already ready for me” She smirked as she walked over to him

“I’m always ready for you, love” He said pulling her into his lap. She pulled her shirt off and unhooked her bra. She threw them both to the floor

She spit in her hand, and started stroking him slow. She lined herself up with his cock, slowly pushing him in making them both moan

“Fuck, you always fill me up so good, Lew” She smirked as she started moving. She loved hearing his moans and whimpers coming from him

“You sound so pretty” She kept praising him as he started bucking his hips up into her, meeting her thrusts

He gripped her hips tighter, slamming her down onto him. Both their moans were loud and heavy as they came closer to their orgasms

“You feel so good around me. Fuck, love. I fucking love you” He spoke between his moans “Fuck, baby. I’m gonna cum, fuck, please”

Her fingers went to her clit, circling it between her fingers. Her actions pushed her closer to her orgasm

“Cum for me, baby” He came into her, holding her down onto him. Him coming into her, sent her over the edge, coming around him for the second time today

She pulled off of him, going to the bathroom to get a damp towel to clean them both up. She laid down beside him, scooting close into him under the duvet

“I love you” He sighed holding her close kissing her forehead

“I love you too” She kissed his chest laying down hearing his heartbeat

#smut #dom!reader #formula one #lewis hamilton #Lewis Hamilton smut #Lewis Hamilton x reader #Lewis Hamilton x reader smut #Spotify #sub!lewis hamilton

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whimsyfinny · 6 months ago

Text

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Reader

Summary: Charlie discovers the Winchester boys to be struggling with keeping the bunker tidy, looking after themselves and being able to do their job simultaneously. Luckily she has a friend who’s from a Hunter family that is in need of work and can help them with research. Or so she thought that’s what her job would be. When Dean sees your more domesticated side, his head won’t stop swimming with all the wrong ideas.

Slow burn, enemies to lovers, smut

Warnings: big smut - oral (fem receiving), rough sex, PinV, angst, Dean being cute

Chapter Word Count: 3158

—-MDNI—-

A/N: ahhhh so back to the normal shenanigans. Nil this chapter is loosely inspired by the song ‘Fuck Away The Pain’ by Divide the Day. Also I’m making some changes to how I link in my chapters, because I have quite a few now and it takes fucking ages. Also it’s 1:30AM and I’m tired so I’ve proof read as best as I can, let me know if you see any errors.

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New readers start here: Prologue

Previous: Chapter 11

I’m Not Your F*cking Maid

Chapter 12

At some point during the quiet ride home I had fallen asleep, because when I woke up I was in my bed atop the covers, still fully dressed. Not knowing what hour it was I rummaged around for my phone, finding it placed carefully next to my books on my bedside table. The brightness from the screen made me wince, my sensitive eyes finally adjusting after a few moments to read 4:17AM. I couldn’t stop the groan from slipping out and I flopped back onto my pillow. I lay there, listening to the humming vents in the bunker, taking in the deafening silence as I took long, slow breaths. Every time I closed my eyes I saw Daniel. Just not the Daniel I knew. Not the boy who lived in band t-shirts and scruffy jeans, but the strange man who wore a three piece suit and sprouted fangs from his jaw. I didn't know that person, and I'm glad I never would. My mind then drifted to Dean; seeing his confused face and shocked expression towards the revelation that I KNEW the vampire about to be killed. My face scrunched like I'd tasted something sour at the thought. I couldn't place my finger on it, but the whole situation felt wrong - uncomfortable. Like I'd been unfaithful even though I'm technically not tied to anyone. It felt like I'd been unfaithful to Dean, and we all knew the last thing he wanted was commitment. Is that what I wanted? Dean? Something more than just carnal desire? A relationship? Security? Someone to call mine? My head felt like it was starting to spin as I spiralled down a rabbit hole I had no intention of venturing down. I shook the intrusive thoughts from my head, deciding that it was the very last thing I needed to be thinking about right now. Sitting up slowly I swung my feet over the edge of the bed, my socked-feet gently connecting with the floor as I quietly left my room, heading down towards the kitchen. The grumbling of my stomach reminding me that I've not eaten for about twelve hours.

My arrival to the kitchen turned heads. More heads than I anticipated being there. In all honesty, I thought everyone would have been in bed at this hour. Apparently not. Of course there was Sam and Dean, Charlie, and that strange angel - what was his name? Castiel? But there was also a woman who I’d never seen before. She had short dark hair and a kind face, but there was something sad and sorrowful about her smile. The five pairs of eyes scorched my skin and I stopped in my tracks, taking a tentative step backwards. The only thing stopping me from turning tail and running out of there was the soothing voice calling my name that somehow instantly calmed my nerves. It was like molasses; sweet and deep and as intoxicating as aged liquor. Before I even had a chance to change my mind about sticking around, Dean had swallowed the distance between us and enveloped me in a crushing embrace. A strange instinct took over and I buried my makeup-smeared face into his chest, feeling the devastatingly familiar burn of hot tears start to well up and spill over.

“Dean-” my voice was small and hoarse as I squeaked out his name, his arms tightening around me reflexively.

“It's ok sweetheart, you don't have to say anything.

I've got you.”

He'd walked me slowly back to my room, like I was something so fragile and the smallest knock would cause me to shatter. In all honesty it wouldn't be an incorrect statement - It felt like the softer Dean was with me the more delicate I became. My demeanour had the density of a feather and the brittleness of tempered glass; one wrong move and I'd burst into hundreds of little pieces that would have to be glued back together.

The door clicked shut behind us and he guided me to sit on the bed. I crawled into the middle and sat with my legs crossed, uncaring of the fact my micro skirt did little to cover what dignity I had left. The thin white petticoat tickled my thighs as Dean shuffled to sit in front of me, his large hands now resting face up in my lap, beckoning my small fingers to become entwined in his. We sat knee-to-knee, Dean's eyes tracking every movement I made - every breath, every blink, every nervous bite of my lip. He took a deep inhale and a slow exhale, like he was using those seconds to decide on what to say. His rough thumbs caressed my knuckles.

“Sweetheart; it's ok to cry.”

That softness radiating from him pulled a ragged sob from my chest, my bottom lip quivering as I made the bad decision to make eye contact with him. The tears started to stream again.

“D-Daniel- he- I s-saw him- he was hit b-by a f-fucking e-eighteen wheeler, D-Dean. H-he was on his motorbike and h-e was thrown a-bout ninety feet b-before h-he hit the g-ground. I went t-to get a FUCKING s-snack and t-the moment I-I came back o-outside he was- he was-”

Before I could carry on he had pulled me into another crushing embrace, my legs slipping over his as he pulled me to sit in his lap. Rough denim rubbed on my inner thighs as his arms tightened around me, my arms moving on their own to loop around his neck.

“We don't have to talk about it anymore if you don't want to.”

I sniffled.

“I just want to f-forget about him. I-I healed f-from this already. I don't w-want to h-have to do that a-again, Dean. I can’t. That person- th-that vamp- he wasn’t him. Please- I just- I just want to forget.”

I pulled back to look at him. I saw this way his eyes darted to my lips and I knew he tried to fight it, I knew he’d scold himself internally for thinking such thoughts in a moment like this. His evergreen gaze flitted across my face before my own eyes landed on his mouth. I saw the way his lips were parted. I saw how his pupils dilated and how his fingers tightened on the small amount of fabric at my hips. How he swallowed, almost nervously, when I moved my own fingers to tug on his hair - to glide over his scalp. I couldn't help but allow myself to sit heavier in his lap.

“(Y/n), sweetheart. We shouldn’t- I shouldn't - I don't want to take advantage of you. Not like this,” his voice was an unusual mixture of pained self-restraint and compassionate sympathy.

“Dean,” my own voice came out sterner than I intended and I felt him flinch beneath my fingertips. “I want to forget. Make me forget.”

It was like a spark had hit a lake of gasoline; one small thing had ignited us, and my face was still wet with tears when Dean threw me down onto the mattress, my head at the foot of the bed. Thick, slightly trembling fingers glided up my thighs and tugged down my underwear, throwing it into the depths of my room. Rough palms suddenly gripped the back of my thighs and pushed up, my knees almost touching my ears whilst he shuffled slightly, like he was getting comfortable. Right when I opened my mouth to ask him what he was doing, I felt it: A lick. A warm wetness that wasn’t my own. Precision and practice had made this appendage a dear friend of the night, which I realised when I felt my brows scrunch together shortly followed by a breathy moan.

“Fuck-”

His tongue went around and around and around, occasionally grazing over my clit but generally taking great care to avoid it; to pump up the agonising sensitivity and make me squirm. I felt his lips move against me, his words fanning hot breaths over my most intimate area as his voice rumbled in his chest.

“Fuck, (Y/n) you're delicious.”

Dipping back down and tongue back at work, he continued his actions, starting slowly - oh so slowly - before speeding up, and up and up until he stopped. He stopped making little circles around my bundle of nerves, and before I could even whine about it he'd pressed the entirety of his tongue against my opening. I didn't think much of the hand releasing my thigh and dropping it on his shoulder until the pad of his thumb pressed on my buzzer, sending a singular shockwave through me whilst he continued to taste me. His thumb swirled again and again whilst his tongue carefully dipped in and out, seeming to know exactly where to press, when to do it and the amount of pressure needed. It had only been a few minutes but I already felt like a melting mess, my body starting to writhe as the pleasure started to build in the depths of my stomach. I felt like I was losing control of my thighs as Dean's fingers dug into the soft flesh of the one he was holding up, the side of his head leaning into the other one, stubble scratching at the soft skin on the inside of my thigh as his jaw flexed with every movement of his tongue. If he wasn't holding onto me like he was, I felt like I could crush him. Another moan passed through my lips when he sped up a little more, my fingers racing to tangle with his hair, pulling a satisfied noise from him.

“Dean- please- if you keep going like this I'm g’nna come-”

He ceased his actions and pushed up, leaning forwards so he was towering above me with my arousal practically dripping from his lips. He wiped it away with the back of his hand and there was an almost primal glint in his eye.

“Do you wanna come?”

The sound of his voice could have snapped that coil inside me there and then. Instead I groaned quietly, watching the way he slowly wrapped his fingers around my calf that rested on his shoulder, pressing a soft kiss to my inner thigh just above my knee. His dark eyes never left mine.

“I wanna come s’bad, but…” I paused and felt my face heat up.

“But…?”

“But I want to feel you inside me when I do.”

His eyes looked like they were about to roll into the back of his head before he caught himself and stared back down at me, chewing on his bottom lip slightly.

“Fuck sweetheart, those are dangerous words.”

“You're a dangerous man…”

There were a few moments of silence, racing heartbeats almost audible from the other side of the room. I hooked my other leg over his shoulder and linked my ankles behind his back, pulling him further down towards me.

“Dean- please. I need you. I need you to fuck me.”

I'd barely finished my sentence when his mouth pressed to mine, hot and panting. I could taste the bite of the whiskey he'd drunk at the club, the richness of it still on his tongue after all these hours - he must've had more when we got back to the bunker. I stretched my hands down and fumbled with the buckle on his belt, fingers frantically trying to undo everything just so I could feel him - touch him. Anything to focus on him and him alone.

“Do you still want to forget, darlin’?”

I nodded.

“And you’re sure you’re ok with this? I don’t want you to reg-“

“I won’t, I promise. I just need you to make my mind go blank; I need the… pain to go away.”

He pulled his T-shirt off in one swift movement before lowering himself to mere centimetres above me, our lips practically touching.

“Then use me however you need to.”

His words were electric. I didn’t give him a chance to pull away, my hands cupping the sides of his face and dragging his mouth down to mine in a frenzied kiss. I was starting to become familiar with how he kissed me - with how he moved his mouth; how he tasted. I was starting to get used to him. You could almost say that I was starting to crave him. With his intoxicating scent and how he tasted when we practically devoured each other. He was becoming my lifeline, somehow, and that thought alone made my heart race.

I thrust my hands down between us to finish what I started before with unbuckling his belt and jeans, eventually dipping a hand into his underwear and feeling him hot, hard, and heavy in my palm. He made a small noise in the back of his throat, unwilling to break away from my lips. I only pushed his clothing as far as I needed to before pulling him out, wiping my thumb over his tip to gather as much precum as I could before smearing it up and down his length in gentle strokes. I started to play him at his own game by starting tantalisingly slow, speeding up over time before he was grasping at my wrist and halting my actions.

“Please-” he almost begged, pulling away from me slightly, “please don’t make me come yet.”

“Then fuck me and we can come together.”

He didn’t waste another second as he lined himself up to my entrance and pushed in, getting lost in my comforting warmth as he groaned into the crook of my neck. I gasped at the stretch, a high-note moan slipping out as he barely waited two seconds before rolling his hips back and forth. Aside from heavy breathing and uncontrolled moans, the only other thing to be heard was the wetness between our bodies and the unmistakable sound of skin-on-skin.

“I wasn’t going to say anything because the timing was never right, but holy fuck (Y/n), your outfit is killing me,” he somehow managed to form a sentence between the panting, the almost crude compliment bringing a blissed out smile to my lips, my mind incapable of forming a coherrant reply.

My ankles unlocked from around his back as his thrusting became more erratic and my legs dropped from his shoulders. Dean took this as a cue to change positions as he grasped my ass and lifted it off the mattress, pulling my body on and off his cock over and over and over again, like I was his own personal toy to use. And the whore that lived deep in my soul loved every second of it. My eyes focused on Deans face, noting how his jaw clenched as his eyes constantly moved up and down my body - taking in every curve of soft skin and ruffle of my outfit. The occasional stutter of his hips was the tell that he was nearing his end, so I traced my hands up my body and pulled the front of my top down, letting my tits bounce free. I pinched and twisted my nipples between my fingers, biting my bottom lip as I felt my sex flutter at the extra stimulation. If Dean wasn’t salivating before, he certainly was now. Keeping one hand on my breast I moved the other one down. Down over the softness of my stomach and to the soaking wetness between my legs, my fingers pressing soft circles around my clit and making me clench even harder around Dean. I swirled and swirled whilst still playing with my nipples, bringing that ever-nearing storm closer to home. I know Dean could feel it too, because his grip on my ass was slipping and he didn’t seem to care; gripping me so tight I was certain I’d see bruises in the afternoon. Letting go of my tit I brought my other hand between us, feeling where Dean and I joined together; feeling how intimate it felt. I could feeling myself tipping over the edge as the noises tumbling from my lips kept coming, urging Dean to somehow fuck me harder and deeper than he already was.

“Sh-shit sweetheart, if you keep making noises like that I won’t be able to go on any longer.”

“Fuck - Dean please- please-”

It was when his eyes met mine, those mossy-green irises clouded with lust and desire, that the storm came crashing in and my euphoria struck me like white hot lightning. My own orgasm pulled Dean into his own one as a string of unintelligible curses fell from his lips before his thrusting ceased and he set me down gently on the bed. No words spoken, no movements made; just his eyes piercing mine as the sound of heavy breaths filled the room. I wasn’t sure how long we sat there for, not making a single move whilst regaining our composure. That was, until I reached out, unthinking, and traced my thumb over Deans bottom lip. My palm rested softly on his cheek and he allowed his eyes to flutter closed for a few short moments before opening them again. When I finally spoke, my voice was barely above a whisper.

“Dean I…I’m sorry.”

He looked puzzled.

“What for? I mean if anything, it should be me apologising.”

I shook my head, a few aches starting to settle over my body already.

“I feel like I’ve used you.”

He chuckled slightly, planting his hands either side of my head and leaning in slightly.

“I told you to.”

“No, like, today was rough, emotionally. It was my baggage and I feel like you’re the one I’ve forced to carry it.”

It was his turn to shake his head.

“Don’t be stupid. You think I’m here, helping you to forget two different versions of the same person against my will? Sweetheart, I want to be here, making you feel better anyway I can,” he smiled a boyish smile, “hell, I’d’ve made you hot chocolate with cream and frickin marshmallows if that would’ve helped. Or watched some dumb ass chick-flick. Maybe even both.”

I couldn’t stop the schoolgirl grin from blooming as I fought every urge to pull him down to me and kiss him. Kiss him like I fucking meant it.

“Could we still do that?”

He chuckled, the sound causing the butterflies in my chest to flutter.

“You bet you’re perfect ass we can,” he punctuated with a light slap to my rear. “What do you wanna watch?”

I pondered for a moment, wondering what DVDs the boys would have laying around in the bunker. In all honesty though, I had one box set to my name that Bobby bought me many moons ago.

“Is Lord of the Rings good with you?”

He looked up for a moment and I’m convinced I saw him mouth ‘thank you’ to the ceiling. But that would be absurd, right?

“Darlin’ it’s perfect. But first let’s get you cleaned up.”

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Up Next: Chapter 13

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starsval · 2 years ago

Text

honest

tasm!peter parker x f!reader

Summary: being best friends and maybe in love with Peter Parker is nice, until certain spider changes everything

Word couny: 10k

Warnings: mentions of wounds, kissing, hickeys, and I think that's all

A/N: it's based on Honest by The Neighbourhood, It's nice to have a friend, King of my heart and Sweet nothing by Taylor Swift.

Also, thanks to @myriadmoons for helping me write this <33

Patience, test my patience

If I made it too hard for you, maybe

“What happened?” You ask Peter, approaching him in the hallway. Immediately noticing the bruise on his face, even though he tried to hide it with the hoodie.

“I fell” He tells you, walking to your first class, which, to his displeasure, you had together.

“Do you think I’m stupid?” You ask him as he works as your shield among all the students going to their classes.

“Sometimes” He laughs, trying to change the subject as you both sit in your place.

“Pete, I’m serious. Is it Flash again? I wouldn’t care to threaten him again”

“That only worked because he has a crush on you” He smiles, resting his head on his arms while looking at you.

“Yeah, but it worked, so I take it as a win” He laughs softly, trying to ignore the concerned look you were giving him. “What happened?”

“I fell” He knows by the look in your eyes that you don’t believe him, but he ignores it, just like he ignores your sad expression as you turn your head to the teacher.

🕸 ⊹ ⋆

“Are you okay?” You ask him, opening your bedroom door so he can get inside. You notice the new bruises, of course you do, you always notice.

But you also notice the look in his eyes, telling you to not say anything about it, telling you to just hold him now.

So you do, you hug him. You let him hug you so tight that you’re afraid he might break you.

“I’m better now” He mutters, his voice muffled by your hair.

“I’m glad”

🕸 ⊹ ⋆

You should have changed it

Say it, you should say it

“You don’t even have to tell me” You had told Peter, sitting on the stairs of your porch. “I mean, it’s obvious that I’m not buying the ‘I fell’ bullshit. So just let me help you”

“It’s okay, someone’s- I’m already getting help” And it’s not you. He had told you, getting up and walking away after waving goodbye.

🕸 ⊹ ⋆

“You’re ignoring me” You tell Peter, sitting on his bed with your homework on your lap.

“I’m literally doing homework right now” He says, slightly offended.

“Not right now, I mean lately” He hesitates before talking.

“I’ve been busy, I’m sorry” He finally looks up from his homework, looking at you.

“It’s okay, you know I don’t care about that, just, don’t be a stranger”

“I won’t” He assures you. “Talking about that, I didn’t tell you but I’m friends with Gwen” Then he puts his homework away, because, of course, when it’s about her he has to focus completely. “We started talking the other day and she’s really nice… "

So you just sit there, listening to him, because that’s the most he’s talked to you in days. And because you’re a good friend who’ll listen to anything even though it hurts. Because you don’t want to lose him.

🕸 ⊹ ⋆

Waiting, always waiting

You wait. Even though you shouldn’t. You wait for him, for a text, for a call, for a response, anything. You wait for him to fulfil his promise, that he’d be here to do the work with you. The most important work of the year.

You wait for him to answer all your texts, all your calls. You keep waiting as you do the work, as you start it, as you look up information, as you finish it, as you revise it.

You stop waiting for him to start waiting for an excuse when he opens the door. With new cuts and bruises that had already been taken care of.

“Sorry for being late, I lost track of time” He puts his backpack in the usual place and sits on your bed, behind you. “We can start now”

You turn around in the chair, not waiting anymore since you already got your excuse. You watch the hour on your phone before talking.

“At 11pm?” You ask him, looking at his new bruises, sighing and wishing he told you more about it.

“I know, I’m sorry, it’s just…” He doesn’t continue, because he doesn’t have anything to say.

“I already did it” You inform him, getting up and laying on your bed as you turn on the TV.

“What? But, we were supposed to do it together” He says, offended as he gets up, to discover that, in fact, you already did it.

“It’s due tomorrow” You don’t look at him, instead, you look at the news, talking about the decrease of crime.

“You could’ve waited for me” You look at him now, foolishly hurt by his words. Because that’s all you’ve done lately. Wait for him. “I know I didn’t answer.” ‘I’m sorry’ He doesn’t add. “But it’s like half of the grade” ‘It’s not fair that you had to do it alone’ He forgets to add, again.

“Fuck you Peter” You tell him, eyes again on the TV, refusing to look at him and at his audacity.

“Look, I know that you’re mad, but I was with Gwen, and I lost track of time, and…” He stops talking, either because he realises he mentioned Gwen or because he realises that you don’t care.

“See you tomorrow” You don’t look at him when he mutters a soft ‘good night’. You do look at him when he turns around, picks his backpack and leaves, closing the door behind him.

You don’t go to sleep immediately, even though you should. You add yours and Peter’s names to the work before putting it on your backpack. Then you continue watching the news. Weirdly entertained by the people talking about Spiderman as he swings between buildings.

You watch his back, just as you watched Peter’s. A back that you know too much, a back that you've scratched, a back that you watched leave earlier. And then it all makes sense, well, you still don’t know why he’s ignoring you. But you know the reason behind the bruises, the cuts, the tiredness in his eyes.

🕸 ⊹ ⋆

I wish you could be honest

I wish you could be honest with me

You watch as the teacher corrects the works. Peter watches you. You both watch the teacher walking to your desks. The teacher watches both of you as he talks.

“It’s really good, I still have to correct some things but it’s the better one of the class” He says before walking away, with your work still in his hands.

“You added my name?” Peter asks you, looking at you as you watch the clock, waiting for the class to be over.

“Yes” You answer, now looking at him.

“I didn’t deserve it” He says ‘I didn’t do anything and then made you feel bad about it’ He doesn’t say.

“I know” You keep looking at him, ignoring the shred of hurt in his eyes, and focusing on the exhaustion in them. “Peter, are you honest with me?”

He doesn’t expect the question, but he doesn’t doubt when answering “Of course”

🕸 ⊹ ⋆

Why'd you stick around?

Why'd you stay with me?

Why'd you fake it?

You always did this. It was your tradition. But things have changed lately, so you shouldn't be surprised when he doesn't show up.

You look at the news, waiting to see someone informing you about what Spiderman's doing right now, maybe saving the city again. But nothing. He seems to be sleeping, or ignoring his best friend.

So you give up, put your phone in silence and walk in the cinema. Doing your monthly tradition alone, for the first time.

When you walk out you don't expect to see him there. Looking weirdly anxious. But you don't acknowledge him, you just continue walking.

"I'm sorry" He says as he follows you, standing in front of you when he realises you're not going to stop. You don’t say anything, you just look at him, not even bothering to hide the fact that you’re hurt. Hurt by him, by his actions, by his secrets. “I’m really sorry, I was really occupied and I couldn’t make it and…”

“I can’t keep doing this” You try to walk around him to the door so you can walk to your house. But he stands in front of you again.

“I know, and I’m sorry, it won’t happen again, I promise” And you want to believe him, you really want to, but you can't let yourself get hurt again.

“You could’ve told me” Just like you can tell me that you’re Spiderman. But you don’t say that, because you want him to trust you, although you don’t know why he doesn’t.

“I- my phone-” He stops, because lying isn’t going to get him anywhere. “I forgot”

You smile, even though all you want to do is cry. He forgot his best friend. And why? Before you can ask him, the answer appears behind you.

“Where were you? Oh, hi Y/n” You turn around, to see Gwen smiling at you. You return her the smile and a wave before turning back to Peter.

“Fuck off Peter, and make sure you don’t forget to talk to her” You mutter as you finally walk around him, reaching the door and start the journey to your house.

🕸 ⊹ ⋆

As you walk on the pavement, you notice someone approaching you. You wave at him when you notice who he is. Harry, Peter’s friend. He introduced you two a while ago, and to his surprise, you actually got along.

“Hi” He greets you.

“Hi, I didn’t know you were in town?” You ask him.

“Yeah, I arrived a few days ago. Actually, I was going to Peter’s house, do you want to come?” He asks you, oblivious to the whole situation.

“I was just going to my house, but it was nice to see you again” You tell him, resuming the walk to your house when he starts talking next to you. “You don’t have to.” He cuts you off before you can finish.

“Did something happen? The last time I was here Peter told me that he wouldn’t let you walk home alone, because it’s dangerous, you know?” You sigh, because it’s true, he never did that, until today.

“It’s complicated I guess, but you don’t really have to walk me home, it’s just a ten minutes walk from here”

“It’s okay, I’d like to catch up with you” You give up trying to get him to actually go where he was supposed to and start talking about both of your lifes. “Does Flash still have a crush on you? I don’t think Peter got over the fact that he asked you out”

You laugh, remembering that day. When you’d suggested that maybe he was just jealous, he said that it was because he wanted his best friend to date someone better than Flash.

“He still does, but he hasn’t tried to ask me out again” You stand in front of your porch, turning around to face him. . “Thanks for walking me home, Harry” You smile at him, really thankful that you hadn’t spent the whole walk thinking about Peter.

“It’s okay, I always like talking to you. And about the Peter thing, I’m sure you’ll work it out”

You let out a soft ‘I know’ before saying goodbye to him and walking in your house.

🕸 ⊹ ⋆

Harry doesn’t bring up the matter when he shows up at Peter’s door. Neither when they both start playing video games. Or when Peter starts talking about Gwen. He talks about it when he says that he went to the mall with Gwen.

“That’s why Y/n was going home alone?” He notices how Peter tenses up immediately.

“What?” Peter asks, like he has no idea what he’s talking about.

“I saw her, and I walked her home, she seemed upset” Peter doesn’t say anything, feeling too bad, knowing that he’s the reason why. “I even asked her if Flash still had a crush on her, maybe the next time I shouldn’t be that discreet”

“What?” Peter turns around, the video game long forgotten as the boys talk.

“Maybe I should ask her on a date while I’m here, the worst she can say is no” Harry keeps talking, and maybe he’s being for real, maybe he just wants Peter to react. But all Peter knows is that he’s getting mad, and he doesn’t know why.

“You shouldn’t” He says dryly.

“Why? Is she seeing someone?” Harry asks, getting up to pick up his things.

“No” Peter answers, his jaw tightened as he watches his friend move around the room.

“Then? What’s the problem?” Harry stops for a second, looking at him.

“I don’t want you to date her” Then he moves again, giving Peter his back as he closes his backpack, hiding his smile.

“I thought you were with Gwen?” Peter frowns at that.

“What? No, it’s all platonic” He swears.

“She must be a good friend then. You left Y/n to go with her” Harry can see Peter's face go through all emotions before talking back.

“It’s not like that” He frowns, again, like it's the most obvious thing.

“I don’t know the whole story Peter, but I do know that she was walking home alone –something that you swore you’d never do– and she seemed hurt” After that Harry leaves. Leaving a confused Peter considering all the choices he's made, while looking at the pictures you two have together.

Pictures he took of you when you gave him his new camera for his birthday. Pictures Aunt May insisted on taking one of the first times you went to the cinema together. Pictures you took of him when he was distracted. Pictures he took of you while you were sleeping, because he thought you looked cute, even though you got embarrassed after. Pictures he took of you while falling(and on the floor), after you had assured him that you knew how to skate.

He remembers that after the last one, you almost made him fall again, he also remembers that your actual words were 'Pete what the fuck??, why didn't you help me?' Like he could’ve done anything to help you

🕸 ⊹ ⋆

I hope you find a way

To be yourself someday

You were doing all you could to avoid Peter. You didn’t know if he was trying to talk to you. But you didn’t care. Maybe he wasn’t trying to find you. It's not like it's something new. But you couldn't known

You couldn't avoid each other in the next class, since you guys sat together(for the next two hours).

“Do you like Harry?” He asks you, neither of you had anything to do, while the others finished their homework, you do all you can to not look at him.

“What?” You fail, meeting his gaze as you talk.

“I think he likes you” He adds.

“Okay” You say, dryly.

“Do you like him?” You can’t believe him, it’s the same shit he did with Flash.

“Just leave me alone” You try to ignore his intense gaze.

“I don’t think you should date him” You stop ignoring his eyes now, looking at him and trying to find where his audacity comes from.

“That’s not your problem” You remind him.

He looks at you, because it’s really not. Even if you were still best friends, it wouldn’t be. But then you’d say something like ‘are you jealous?’.

“I know, I know, but he’s-” You cut him off, tired of his shit.

“I don’t care, Peter, why would I?. If I like him or if I don’t, it’s not your problem, so just leave me alone”

He seems hurt, he really does. But you stop looking at him, because maybe if you don’t see him, you won’t notice. And maybe if he doesn’t look at you, he won’t notice your hurt. Or maybe he does and he just doesn't care.

You stay like that the rest of the hour, fighting the urge to not turn your head to him, even when you can notice him looking at you. You fight the urge to not ask him for explanations, to ask him to come back to you.

As soon as the teacher says that you have a free hour, you walk out of the class as soon as you can.

You walk to the bleachers, waiting for the hour to be over so you can just go home. You’re looking at the sky when Peter approaches you, your immediate response is to get up, to try and run away.

“Please- just…” He stays there, standing in a row in front of you. You sit down again, looking at him.

He doesn’t say anything. He just looks at you, feeling like he hasn't seen you in forever. He doesn’t talk, you don’t talk. Until you get impatient and try to get up before he talks.

"You don't call me Pete anymore, you know?. You just say Peter, and half of the time is to insult me" You don't know how to react, you don't know what to do with the hurt in his voice. So you just talk, before thinking.

“Are you Spiderman?” You see him trying to say something, trying to lie. But you both know it wouldn’t work. So he doesn’t say anything. He looks at you, frowning.

You laugh.

“You didn’t even try to deny it” You look at him, questioning him, questioning his friendship with you, his friendship with Gwen.

“How long have you known?” He frowns, looking sad.

“Long enough for me to say that you’re not honest” You fight the urge to walk away.

He doesn’t say anything. You know that he’s mad.

You don’t say anything. He knows that you’re mad.

“You shouldn’t know” He finally speaks, looking at you, clenching his jaw.

“I know” Because you do. You know that he’s been trying so hard to hide it from you that you almost lose your friendship, or maybe you already lost it.

“It’s dangerous” He adds

“That’s all you’re gonna say?” You ask him. You both know what you want to hear. I’m sorry for not telling you. I’m sorry for ignoring you. I’m sorry for getting you worried. I’m sorry for almost ruining our friendship.

“What else am I supposed to say?” He doesn’t meet your eyes. Not when you get up. Not when you throw the sweatshirt he’d lent you at him. Not when he barely catches it before it touches the floor. Not when you start to walk away.

“Way to go Parker” You mumble, walking down the stairs.

🕸 ⊹ ⋆

Hesitation, is killing me too

But I couldn't save it

I couldn't save it

"I didn't want her to get involved, it's dangerous, and I-" Peter is sitting in Gween’s bed, his Spiderman suit under his clothes, ready for the night guard. A week after his last conversation with you.

"So you're just going to lose your friendship because of that?” Gween asks, her eyes going back and forth between Peter and her homework.

“I don’t want to lose her. I thought that if I wasn’t around her that much she wouldn't discover it” He admits, his eyes looking down at the mask in his hands.

“Do you think she’s stupid?” Gwen asks, knowing for a fact, that you aren’t stupid.

“That’s the thing. She’s too smart, and she found out even when I ignored her” He sighs, laying in the bed. “I don’t know what to do now. I can’t just go to her and apologise, can I?”

“You could try, but it better be the apologise of the century” She tells him, focused again on the papers before her.

🕸 ⊹ ⋆

Peter keeps thinking about that as he climbs out Gwen's window. While he's swinging between buildings. As he fights for his life.

But, curiously, he doesn't think about it when he goes to your house, when he knocks on the window. He just does it, like you're a magnet who's attracting him, leaving him no choice but to get close to you. He does it as a reflex action. Like he knows that you'll always be there for him.

And sadly, you will.

🕸 ⊹ ⋆

Is this the end of all the endings?

Peter used to go to your house when he couldn’t sleep, he just knocked on the window, waiting for you to get up and let him in. But you didn’t expect him to do it right now. Especially no in his Spiderman suit.

“What the fuck happened to you?” You ask him, not even bothering to close the window. Knowing that he’d close it for you. Like always.

He sits on your desk chair as you look for your first aid kit, the one that you’d bought when Peter started to skate.

"I'm hurt" He talks, slowly moving the chair close to the bed, where you're waiting with all the supplies.

"Yeah no shit" You roll your eyes, carefully cleaning his wounds.

"I'm sorry" He suddenly says, after watching you in silence, admiring you as you healed him.

You admire him too, his hands as he holds tight to the chair, his chest as he breathes in, as he breathes out. His face as you clean the blood out of it. The look in his eyes as you keep your hands on his face longer than necessary.

"What are you doing here?" Your eyes go from his wounded chest to his eyes.

"I missed you" You stop for a bit when he says that, and you're sure he notices, but you quickly bandage the wound and get up to get him some clothes.

"It's not fair, it's not fucking fair that after everything you're just here. Telling me that you missed me. It's not fair Peter" You swear you can see something change in his eyes as he hears the name. "And I'm here, acting like nothing happened, like it's the fucking same, like my best fri-" You don't finish the word. "Like you aren't Spiderman. It's not fucking fair"

You finally tell him, looking through your closet, like the fact that you're far from him will help you ignore the attraction you're feeling.

And then it hits you, you've felt like this for a while. You've been attracted to him for a while. And with everything that had happened, you couldn't stop and think about it.

Because maybe the fact that you lost your best friend hurts more than the fact that you're in love with him. Just maybe.

"I know" He says as he gets up, walking to the bathroom to put on the clothes that you just gave him. He leaves a confused you cleaning your room, feeling your heart shrink a bit when you see all of the tissues covered in blood.

After going to the kitchen to throw everything that you had used, you come back to Peter sitting in your bed. Looking at his hands, only looking away when you sit next to him.

“I’m sorry” He admits, almost in a whisper.

“Stop saying that you’re sorry” You ask him.

“But I really am” He whispers, again

“You should’ve thought of it before you… before everything” You look down, and then at him.

“I know, but it’s not my fault that I’m Spiderman and I’m really sorry” You look away, slightly hurt by the fact that he thinks you would blame him for that.

“What are you even sorry for?”

“I’m sorry for lying to you, for ignoring you, for making you feel bad, for ruining our friendship” He says the last words like they hurt. “I’m sorry for everything, honestly. For talking the way I did about the Harry thing. For not apologising sooner. For ignoring you because of Gwen, who’s just my friend, by the way. I’m sorry” You don’t look at him, because if you do, you know you’ll do something stupid, like hugging him, or telling him that everything’s fine.

“I think you should go, maybe May is waiting for you” You get up, feeling his gaze on you as you continue to pack your suitcase.

“Why are you saying that after I apologised?” You let out a small laugh, looking through your t-shirts.

“Do you think an apology solves everything?” You hear him sigh, passing a hand through his hair.

“I- What? No, I thought you’d be more understanding” You stop for a bit, breathing in and breathing out, trying to not get mad at him.

“What?” You turn around slowly.

“You always say that people deserve second chances” He says, afraid of what your reaction will be.

“And how many chances have I given you Peter, I could’ve fucking left you as soon as you started ignoring me. But no, you hug me and everything's okay, I’m your best friend again and we’re fine. Just for you to go and ignore me, again!. What the fuck do you want me to do? Have zero self respect and go back to you just because ‘you’re sorry’?. And don’t even talk about second chances, because you’d had so many fucking chances, and all you do is fuck it up!.” You throw a t-shirt into the suitcase. “If you want me to just forget everything just because you apologised, it better be the bigger apologise anyone has seen, because I’m so fucking tired of everything“ Now you throw a hoodie. “All I ever wanted was for you to be honest, but you couldn’t even do that, so I just, I don’t know what to do anymore.”

“Where are you going?” He says, like he just noticed that you're packing your things. Catching a t-shirt before it can land into the suitcase.

“Are you telling me that that’s the part you chose to care about?” You ask him, snatching the t-shirt from his hands and throwing it in the suitcase again. Just for him to catch it.

“Yeah, where are you going?” He raises his arm above his head when you try to steal the fabric from his hands.

"You're fucking unbelievable Peter, I'm going to my aunts" You finally catch your T-shirt and put it on the suitcase.

"What? You won't be happy there?" He replies.

“And who says I'm happy here?” You don't look at him as you pick up another T-shirt from your closet. When you turn around, Peter’s emptying your suitcase. “What the fuck are you doing?”

“Don’t be immature, just stay here, there’s no need to go there” He pushes your hands when you try to stop him.

“Oh, so I’m being the immature one? Sorry, Mr. I didn’t want my best friend to find out that I’m Spiderman so I just stopped talking to her” You put the clothes that he’s putting on the floor into the suitcase, just as he does the opposite in front of you.

“Oh, I have to get Harry to walk me home because I can’t do it alone” He replies, determined to unpack your suitcase.

“Oh, I can’t even text my best friend to tell her that I ditched her because I was with other girl”

“I already told you we’re just friends. Are you jealous?” He looks at you for a moment, making you take advantage of him and quickly fill up your suitcase.

“You wish I was jealous” You give up, and just watch as Peter empties your suitcase. “Stop being immature and go home”

“Maybe I do wish that you'd be jealous” He drawls, looking down at his work(your clothes on the floor).

“Just go home” You say again, getting up and walking to your closet. He quickly gets up again, and you think is to leave, but he’s next to you immediately.

“I didn’t want you to worry, or be in danger. So it was better to just stop talking to you, because I didn’t have to see your face when you saw the bruises. And I just couldn’t stand the fact that if you knew, you’d be in danger. And I know I fucked up, I’m sorry, I regret it everyday, I just want us to be okay” He admits, looking down at you.

“Are you fucking stupid?” You look at him, confused. “You didn’t want me to worry? So you just ignored me? You’re the dumbest person I’ve ever known. What if something happened to you? What if you fucking died? I’ll be here not knowing that it was because you’re fucking Spiderman –I mean, I would’ve figured it out, but still–. And the ‘being in danger’ shit, I have no fucking words, you think I care about that? You’re so fucking stupid Peter” You turn around and pick your clothes from the floor as you mutter ‘so fucking stupid’.

“You still care about me?” He asks, looking at you, impatiently waiting for your answer.

“You’re actually dumb…” You consider. “Of course I do” His eyes light up.

“Does that mean you forgive me?” He gets closer to you.

“No, I’m still waiting for the biggest apology anyone has ever seen” You start to pack your clothes again.

“You’re still going?” He frowns.

“Yes, I’m leaving tomorrow, so, goodbye Peter” You finish packing and you stay there, looking through the window, where Peter was just minutes ago.

And you know that he is really sorry, but you couldn't give it to him that easily. You'll forgive him as soon as you see the biggest apology you've ever seen.

Because you miss him, you miss your best friend, the guy you've been pining over for a year, the guy who used to walk you home everyday. You miss the insignificant fights you'd have about the homework, about the movie you'll see. You miss Peter Parker.

🕸 ⊹ ⋆

You think about last night as you watch through the window of the taxi, about how close your bodies were for a moment, about everything he said, about the jealous thing. About the fact that you’re still waiting for his apology.

That’s when you see it, the biggest apology you’ve ever seen. Just in front of you everyone, but just for you. After you tell the driver to stop the car you get out of it as soon as possible, looking at the “I’m sorry” made of webs.

Just when you start to look around, Peter grabs you, and you honestly don’t know how but you end up above the words. Looking at him, and hugging him, because, it’s so fucking scary.

“I’m sorry” He says, after taking out his mask. Looking at you with soft eyes.

“I can tell” You say, looking at his eyes, just so you don’t look down, and because you missed his eyes.

“Is that the biggest apology you’ve ever seen?” He asks, suddenly nervous.

“Yes it is” You talk as you look around you, observing the city. “You’re fucking Spiderman, that’s unbelievable, like, out of all the people, you, that’s so fucking crazy” When you look back at him, he looks like he isn’t breathing. “Yes, Pete, I forgive you, I thought about last night and it was kinda funny, you know? The whole suitcase situation. I missed that, I missed you”

Once the words leave your mouth he smiles like he just won a contest and hugs you. He hugs you like he hasn’t done in a while, and you hug him back, happy to have your best friend back.

“Yeah, I get it, but, um, could we get down? Love the views, but it’s scary” You say, smiling.

“Shit, yes sure” He seems to remember where you two are and puts the mask on before taking you to the taxi.

🕸 ⊹ ⋆

My broken bones are mending

With all these nights we're spending

"I'm sorry" Peter says as he sits on your bed.

"Don't apologise" You tell him, cleaning the wounds on his neck.

"I'll buy you another first aid kit" You smile, patching up his face.

"Well, I hope I won't need it" He chuckles a bit, knowing that you probably will have to.

"Thank you"

"I'm your best friend Peter, and I have morals, if Spider-man was on my window dying I'll help him"

"What if it's a fake Spider-man?" He grins through the pain.

"You think I won't recognise you?" You ask, indicating him to roll down the top of his suit so you can look at the wounds. "Does it hurt?" You look at the bruises on his side.

"I'm better now" He slowly gets up and grabs the clothes you let out for him.

"I'm glad" You smile, cleaning and throwing everything you've used.

When he comes out of the bathroom, already in normal clothes, you're in bed, scrolling down your phone.

"I should leave" He says as he picks up his backpack.

"Stay here Peter" You talk, patting the space you left him next to you.

"Are you sure? I don't want to bother" He says, even though he's smiling.

"Yes, I'm sure" You don't bother to look up your phone. "There's a lot of gossip we have to discuss"

You do look up your phone when he lays down next to you and covers both of you with the blanket.

🕸 ⊹ ⋆

Up on the roof with a school girl crush

Drinking beer out of plastic cups

Say you fancy me, not fancy stuff

You notice people staring at you as you enter the house. You follow Peter through the crowd, and wonder if the music and the smell of alcohol are bothering him.

"I'll get something to drink" Peter talks through the music, once you've found a not so packed corner in one of the rooms.

"If you insist" You smile back at him as he walks away.

You're looking at his back when someone approaches you.

"What are you doing here alone?" Some guy asks you, leaning on the wall behind you.

"Who said I was alone?" You reply, not smiling, rather grimacing from the smell of alcohol he gives off.

"Well, I don't see anyone around right now" He says, looking around, ignoring the fact that you're not even looking at him.

"Maybe it's because I don't wanna talk to anyone" You simply answer.

"You're kicking me out?" He still smiles, even though he wants to look offended.

"I don't know, am I?" You give him a fake smile, just before Peter appears with two cups, and after you grab one, he passes his arm around your waist, facing that guy.

"So you weren't alone" The guy mutters, looking at Peter's arm around you.

"If you wanted to keep her company, you can leave, I'm already here" Peter grinns, oblivious to the look the guy gives him before turning around to bother someone else.

"What was that?" Peter doesn't answer, instead he pulls away and grabs your hand, leading you upstairs, to one of the balconies of the house. "What was that?" You ask again, seeing that he's too focused on his cup.

"He was bothering you" He simply answers, smiling at you, as you both sit on the floor, leaning your back on the wall.

"How did you know that? Maybe I was having a good time" You question, smiling back at him.

"With that look on your face? I doubt it" He raises an eyebrow before raising the cup to his lips.

"Maybe that's my way of flirting. Showing no interest. They seem to like that" You shrug, smiling.

"So you were flirting?" His jaw tightens a bit, looking directly at you.

"What if I was?" You hold his gaze, waiting for any kind of reaction.

But the only thing he does is take out a bottle of alcohol from under his jacket. "What the fuck?" You smile, taking it from as he hands it to you.

"Though it'd be nice to have something just for us" He smiles as you pour it in your cups.

"But you didn't answer" You remind him.

"I mean, I'm your best friend, I have to approve them first" He jokes.

"That's the reason?" You half close your eyes.

"Yes" He looks away, drinking.

"You sure? No other reason?" You insist, stretching out your arm to poke his cheek.

"Yes" He moves away, fighting his smile.

"Are you really sure?" You scoot over to be closer to him, still poking his cheek.

"Yes, I'm sure, okay?" He finally lets the smile out and grabs your wrist as he pulls away.

"No, not okay, I don't believe you" You try to get your hand free, but he holds it tighter.

"Why don't you believe me?" He asks you.

"You don't seem believable" You smile, looking at him as you drink.

"Maybe it's you who doesn't want to believe me" He talks back.

"Maybe" You shrug.

"But for what reason?" He insists, leaning to see your face.

"I don't know" You sigh, drinking the rest of your cup. "But it's true that you don't seem believable"

"So you don't believe me and I don't believe you, we're even" He smiles, knowing there’s no point in trying to get you to talk.

"I guess" You smile back at him.

At some point, maybe when you're talking about the stars or when you finish the bottle. You find yourself on Peter's lap, his lips on yours and his hands on your hair.

You feel the grip he has on you, and how his lips go to your neck, you also feel him smirking against your skin.

And you also hear someone knocking on the door, making you pull away immediately.

You don't talk, not when you get up, or when he holds your hand to lead you through the people. You talk when he's walking you home.

"Can we not talk about that?" You ask, a hand on your neck to feel the hickey he gave you.

"Why?" He says, looking at the hand on your neck, and remembering how it felt to do that.

"We were drunk, Peter, it was a mistake" You remind him.

"Yeah, sure, we won't talk about it" He says, and maybe he means it, because even when he's drunk, he hasn't forgotten about the fact that he's spiderman.

He tries to not be obvious when he's saying goodbye to you, but you still notice him looking at it.

"Peter, stop looking" He smiles.

"I'm not looking" He says, looking directly at your neck.

"You're drunk" You remind him, giving him your back to open your door.

"Kinda" He replies, grinning.

"You should stay" When you turn around, he's still smiling. "Peter if you talk about it i'll kick you out" You remind him as you close the door, both of you already inside.

"Maybe it's worth it" He stops smiling when you leave him alone and walk to your room, mumbling something about a 'mistake', that's all he could hear.

But he keeps his promise and doesn't talk about it. He wants to, but he conforms with having you under his arm while you watch a movie.

He doesn't talk about the next days either, not even when you put makeup on your neck to hide it. And weeks pass, but neither of you have forgotten about it.

🕸 ⊹ ⋆

School bell rings, walk me home

Sidewalk chalk covered in snow

Lost my gloves, you give me one

You were walking home from Harry's, after saying goodbye to him, who leaves tomorrow. Peter's walking by your side. He's huffily talking about the fact that some classmate of yours never stops talking.

"You also talk in class" You remind him, rubbing your hands together to get some warmth in them, you accidentally left your gloves in Harry's house, you already texted him to consider it a parting gift.

"Yeah, to you, it's not the same" He says, taking the glove of his right hand off.

"Why not?" You ask when you see what he's doing. "What are you doing, you're gonna get cold" You say, walking away from him when he tries to give you his glove.

"At least let me give you one" He replies, and he's faster than you, so he quickly grabs your right wrist and puts the glove on.

"What about your other hand?" You ask, still refusing to make him cold, even though he's Spiderman, so it's not that of a problem.

"You'll grab it, and then it won't be cold, okay?" He doesn't give you a chance to protest as he grabs your ungloved hand and starts walking to his house. "And it's not the same because you're worth talking to"

"You're biassed" You tell him, smiling.

"Me? I'd never, how dare you say that" He puts the hand you're not holding in his chest, acting offended.

“Of course you’d never, you react the same when I talk and when Flash talks” You remind him, looking at the snow on the floor.

“That’s because you’re not a shitty person” He says, suddenly grumpy when he talks about him.

“You say that ‘cause you’re I’m your best friend” You look at him.

“Everyone can tell that you’re a good person” He says, genuinely,

“You’re still biassed” You remind him.

“Nonsense, even if I wasn’t your best friend I could still tell that you are a good person” He seems ready to defend his argument with his life.

“How could you tell that?” You ask, curious.

“Because of your aura” You look at him, sceptical “And because you’re pretty” You look away, so he doesn’t notice how flustered you are. But of course he notices, and of course he smiles. Because neither of you have forgotten the ‘maybe I wish you were jealous’ thing, or the fact that you made out at that party.

You don’t say anything, instead, you urge him to walk faster so you can get in his house already. When you walk in, you're greeted by Aunt May, who gives you a big hug.

"Oh sweetie, I missed you so much, you should've told me and I'd make sure that Peter isn't dumb, you're the best that has ever happened to him, I can't believe he almost lost you. Men are so stupid sometimes" She talks as she gives his nephews a bad look.

“Thanks Aunt May” He says, taking off his coat before helping you take off your own as soon as May breaks the hug. “My own family is against me, I can’t believe it”

“It’s okay” You assure her “I could handle him on my own. And they’re really dumb sometimes” You agree with her before following Peter to his room.

🕸 ⊹ ⋆

Light pink sky up on the roof

Sun sinks down, no curfew

After finishing your homework, gossiping and playing video games, you’re both on Peter’s roof, a blanket around both of you as you watch the sunset.

“What about bug-boy, web-head, spidey?” Peter shakes his head with each nickname. “I don’t care, I like spidey”

“Really? I’d prefer bug-boy honestly” He admits, making you smile before looking at your phone, who just made a notification sound.

“What the fuck?” You mutter.

“What?” Peter asks, leaning over your shoulder to see what you’re talking about.

“Flash just asked me on a date?” You say, still looking at your phone.

“Why does he have your number?” He frowns.

“That’s what you care about, really?” You look at him, and you roll your eyes when you see, that, in fact, that’s what he cares about. “I used to tutor him”

“Oh” He seems to relax, but then he frowns again “Didn’t you reject him once?”

“Yes, but he quite didn’t believe that I didn’t like him, so as a last resource, I told him I had a boyfriend” You tell him, looking at your phone, thinking about a way to turn him down.

“And he just believed you? He didn’t ask who he was?” He says, asking himself why he didn’t know any of this.

“I mean, yes” You doubt before talking. “I told him I was dating you, and I also told him that if he ever bothered you again then he’d actually never have a chance with me, so, yeah” You rant, and when he doesn’t say anything, you keep talking. “I guess he saw that we weren’t that close anymore and assumed we broke up”

“And he just- he believed it? He didn’t question it?” He frowns again.

“Actually, he said that it made sense and walked away” You shrug, looking at your phone.

“What? Do we look like a couple?” He asks and prays that you don’t look up to see the smile on his face.

“Should I tell him that we’re back together?” You avoid the question.

“That’d work” He waits to talk again after you type your response.“Why didn’t you tell me?”

Something gave you the nerve

To touch my hand

“Didn’t seem important” You don’t look at him, instead, you look at your phone, which seems to make him lose his patience. So he grabs the hand you’re using to grab your phone and puts it down between both of you, with his on top.

“It didn’t seem important that people could think that we’re dating?” He asks, thanking the sound of the birds, because he thinks that if it were silence, you could hear his heartbeat.

“Does it bother you?” He almost jumps with the assumption.

“What?- Are you crazy?, no- Why would that bother me?. Does it bother you? Well I don’t think so because you’re the one that said it. But it definitely doesn’t bother me. Like, I’d be honoured if someone came to me and asked ‘Are you dating Y/n’. Actually, I’d be more honoured if we were dating for real, you know?” He stops his ranting when he notices what he just said, and just closes his eyes, thinking about swinging out of this situation.

When you don’t say anything, he looks at you, seeing you wide-eyed, fighting a smile.

“Is that your way to ask me to be your girlfriend?” He doesn’t answer, he just looks at your mouth, just as you look at his mouth, who’s fighting to say something.

But the words don’t come out of his mouth, instead, he gets closer to you, and you back down a bit, slightly opening your mouth, looking down at his.

“Easy bug-boy” You smile, reminding the wound you cleaned up just a few hours ago. Also reminding him that you’re supposed to be his best friend.

“What’d you call me?” He whispers, laughing before sighing, so mesmerised by you. You smile, and back away, feeling like you’re in heaven when he sighs again.

“You said you liked that, I could call you Spidey if you wante-” You stop talking, his lips almost touching yours. The hand that was on top of your, goes to one side on your neck. “Peter, we shouldn't” You talk, trying to not lose your breath almost.

“I know” He drawls. And that’s when you give in. His lips go to your neck and you can’t take it anymore. When he’s in front of you again, you stop backing away and lean forward.

When your lips meet you feel like you’re going to die. The cold that you were feeling goes away. And you don’t care anymore about the people that could see you.

You just focus on his mouth, so needy for you. His hands, touching you to make sure you won't go away. His body, practically hovering over you.

He's fighting so bad his impulses to not bite your lip, because he's been waiting for this for a long time. But he does anyway, and he seems proud of himself when he hears the sound you make.

His hand moves to the back of your neck, and he moves your head so he can kiss you better. You let him do whatever he wants, and you groan when he stops kissing you.

He laughs after seeing your face, and his lips go to your neck immediately. His other hand goes to your waist, and while you use one to support your body, the other goes to Peter's hair. Which you keep touching when his lips are touching yours again.

He's practically on top of you, and he's about to make you lay down, but you hear someone walking down the street.

So you pull away, and after realising what you just did, both of your hands leave each others body immediately.

"That was a bad idea" You say, barely breathing.

"I'm in love with you" The breath you just catched goes away, and his eyes search for your gaze after he rants. "I'm so in love with you I don't think it's normal. Because you're so, perfect, and I know I don't deserve you"

"Don't say that" You frown.

"You're too nice and I'm so…" He looks at his hands.

"Peter, don't say that" You repeat.

"And I know it's selfish for me to tell you, but we just kissed" He smiles. "And I get it if you don't feel the same but-" You don't give him a chance to continue talking, instead. You grab his face with your hands and kiss him again. This time it's softer, and you just wish that he gets what you mean. You hope that he knows that you're also in love with him, that you love him so much you want to die.

When you pull away, you rest your forehead on his, closing your eyes, because you're sure that the intensity of his gaze might decompose you.

"I love you so much you don't get it. And don't ever say that you don't deserve me. You're so…" You sigh, not able to express it right now. "I'm in love with you, Peter"

"Are you sure?" You look at him, actually wondering if he's being for real.

"We just kissed?" You tell him, to make sure if he remembers.

"You kiss a lot of people that you don't love" He says, thinking about the parties you used to attend every weekend.

"Did you give me a hickey?" You ask, touching your neck.

"You're changing the subject" He closes his eyes halfway. You sigh.

"You're the one changing the subject" You talk back.

"Why would I change the subject?" He sounds offended, even though he's smiling.

"Because you don't want to believe that I'm in love with you" He smiles "Because you think you don't deserve me" He stops smiling "Which is the dumbest thing you've ever said, and it's saying something, because you say a lot of stupid shit" He smiles again.

"Because it's true, it's dangerous, what would they do knowing that you're Spiderman's girlfriend?" He stops smiling, and looks away, regretting everything.

"I'm already your best friend" You remind him.

"It wouldn't be the same, they love that cliche where they get the hero's girlfriend" He scowls.

"They probably think we're already dating" You see him fighting a smile.

"But still-" You roll your eyes, tired of this.

"I'm sure, I'm in love with you" You tell him. And he smiles, he looks so fucking happy, especially when he talks again.

"I did, in fact, give you a hickey" He looks at it, and grabs your wrist when you try to hit him. He doesn't let it go, instead, he puts it down and grabs your hand. "Does that mean you want to be my girlfriend?"

"No, we just ate each other's faces and confessed our love but I won't be your girlfriend, idiot" You say, sarcastically.

"Is that how you talk to the boy you love? No wonder you're single" He rolls his eyes.

"We aren't even together and you're already leaving me" You frown, but it quickly turns into a smile.

"I would never" He assures.

"Yes Peter, I want to be your girlfriend"

🕸 ⊹ ⋆

"Weren't you already dating?" Is what uncle Ben and aunt May ask you when you walk in holding hands a week later.

"What? No" You both say, at the same time.

"Oh, congratulations then" May says, having an excuse to hug both of you again.

"Took you long enough to get the girl" Ben says, but smiles anyway, giving Peter's back a pat.

🕸 ⊹ ⋆

It’s nice to have a friend

You were walking around Peter's room, he just came back from his usual duty as Spider-man, and was finishing some homework.

"This is new" You tell him, taking a book out of the bookcase, and showing it to him.

"What?" He looks up, and when he sees what's in your hand, his face goes red. Making you frown.

"What's this?" You ask him, smiling as he gets up slowly, afraid that a sudden move might make you open the book.

"Nothing" He lies, walking a step forward, making you back away immediately.

"That's not true, what is it?" You ask again, and before you can look at the book, it flies away from your hand. When you look at Peter, he's taking the webs out of the cover.

"Nothing" This time you're the one who walks forward, closing your eyes halfway.

“What are you hiding?” You’re getting closer to him, actually afraid that he might jump out of the window.

“What do you mean? I’m not hiding anything” He talks as he hides the book behind his back. Once you’re in front of him, he sticks the book on the ceiling and grabs your face so he can kiss it when you look upward.

“Kisses are not going to get you out of this, why are you so embarrassed of a book?” You don’t move when he continues kissing you.

“I’m not embarrassed” You look at his face, almost as red as his suit. “And how are you going to get it out of there anyway?”

“I’m sure May would love to see that” You start to walk away when he wraps his arms around you, laughing.

"Promise you won't laugh at me" He talks, with his arms still hugging you.

"I promise" You assure him, and after he hears it, he jumps and effortlessly sticks to the ceiling, grabbing the book.

He gives it to you and turns around, muttering something about homework.

When you open it you see a lot of pictures, professional ones, polaroids, and even printed from his phone. There's photos of both of you together, of you, and of the things that you like.

Photos of you trying to do your makeup, reading in class, studying, sleeping, crying from laughter. You petting a dog, a cat, running away from a bug. You holding a test that has a 100 written on it. You sitting on a bench while reading a book.

Selfies that you took when he was distracted, when he was texting Flash to leave you alone, when you arrived at your first party. Photos of him doing homework while you sat in his bed. There's one of May and you trying to bake while Peter and Ben are trying to help. You kissing his cheek, and him kissing yours.

Photos of the flowers you saw on the street once and said that you like, a certain street that gave you good vibes, some of the drawings you made of both of you in class. Photos of the matching keychains you made for you to share.

Apart from the date in which the photo was taken, there's annotations under every single photo. Some of them say 'I love you so much', or, 'You fell down right after I took this photo'.

He put his thoughts under each picture, even when it's just 'You look hot in this one'. And that photo was from when you two were just best friends. He also put 'I made that ;)' under the photo where you can see a hickey on your neck.

The book is full of every moment of your friendship, even when that moment was you trying to cut Peter's hair. There was everything, sad thoughts, happy thoughts, normal teenager thoughts.

After you look at every single page, you look up to see Peter watching you.

"Do you think I'm crazy?" He asks after you two just stare at each other.

'What? Why would I think that?" You frown, sitting next to him in his bed.

"Because I made that" He avoids your gaze.

"And it's beautiful Peter, I love it, it's amazing" You hug his side, leaving the book on the chair.

"Are you lying?" He asks and you laugh, rolling your eyes

"You're the dumbest person I know" You lay down as you talk, making him lay down next to you, he turns around so you're facing each other.

"You say that a lot" He frowns, looking almost offended.

"Because it's true, why would I lie? I love it" You see him fighting a smile.

"Thank you" He stops fighting and grins.

"Did you really think I looked hot that day? I remember that you took a lot of photos" He hugs you and hides his face on your neck, and laughs.

"Really?" He talks with his face still on your neck.

"Yes, because if I remember well, we were best friends, you know? Do you think it's normal thinking about your best friend that way?" You grab his face in your hands, making him look at you as you talk.

"Like you're one to talk" He rolls his eyes.

"I'm sorry? I've never thought that" You add, innocently.

"Because I didn't see you almost drool when I wore that outfit you bought me" You smile thinking about it, wondering how you got him to accept your gift.

"You looked hot, you should wear it again" You smile, giving him a quick kiss on the lips.

"Didn't you say you never thought that?" He closes his eyes halfway, leaning in to kiss you again.

"But we're already dating, dumbass" You smile

"Right"

🕸 ⊹ ⋆

They said the end is coming

"What if something happens to you because of me?" You see him trying to hold the tears in his eyes.

"No, listen, listen-" You try to talk, but he doesn't seem to care.

"No, wait, wait, wait" He cuts you off, not willing to let you talk. "I cannot let that happen"

"Listen to me" You get closer to him, so he has no choice but to lean on the wall behind him. "You're Spider-Man, and I love that. But I love Peter Parker more, I always loved you, with no Spider bite and all, with glasses, contact lenses or whatever, that's not gonna change" You search for his gaze. "That's worth it to me"

"I can't lose you" He says, looking directly into your eyes.

"If because you can't lose me, we can't be together, who does that work out for, Peter?" You ask, already knowing the answer.

"I can't, I'm sorry Y/n" You look away, laughing as the tears begin to fill your eyes.

"Wow. You've done this to me again and again Peter. I can't live like this" You take a step backwards as you talk.

"I know, I'm sorry" He doesn't move, instead, he looks at you. "We should break up" He says, so quietly that you have to lean forwards to make sure you heard him right.

"What?" You ask him.

"We should break up" You stare at him, not showing any emotion.

"No" You simply say, crossing your arms.

"What?- You can't say no to a break up?" He frowns.

"I can, and I do, we are not breaking up" You remind him.

"Y/n… It's for the best" He looks down.

"No" You cross your arms. He sighs, passing a hand through his hair.

"Look-"

"I said I can't live like this, but not in that way. You can break up with me when you stop loving me, or when being with me hurts you. But not because of self sabotaging" You don’t talk for a second, letting him process the information. “So, I’m gonna go, talk to me when you don’t want to break up with me”

🕸 ⊹ ⋆

When you open your shared playlist the morning after, you see that the most recent added song is Afterglow-Taylor Swift

🕸 ⊹ ⋆

Everyone’s up to something

You don’t see Peter until the night after your ‘break up’. He is on your door, with flowers in his hands and sorrys on his lips.

“I’m sorry” He talks as you let him in, scanning his body for new bruises.

“Are you okay?” You ask, grabbing the flowers to put them in a vase.

“You’re too good for me” He mutters as you lead him to the couch, making him sit next to you.

“Stop saying that” You remind him, grabbing his hand.

“I’m sorry” He looks at you, nothing but honesty in his eyes.

“You came here to tell me something, didn’t you?” He nods, still looking for madness in your eyes. “Then do it”

“I don’t want to break up with you, but I don’t want to lose you. If something happened to you because of me, I’d never forgive me. But you make me happy, you’re the best thing that has ever happened to me, I don’t want to lose you” He hugs you, not sure if you’re the one who’s going to break up with him.

“You won’t lose me Peter, they won’t hurt me, if I survived Flash’s tries to flirt with me, I’ll survive anything. I promise” He stays silent for a moment, chuckling at the Flash's mention. Then, he talks.

“I love you”

“I love you too”

He stays there for the night, giving you nothing but kisses, hugs and sweet nothings.

🕸 ⊹ ⋆

I find myself running home to your sweet nothings

“Shut up” Peter says, finally getting up from the chair and walking to his bed, where you're laying.

“No, I’m being for real, hear me out” He suddenly lies on top of you, leaving you unable to get up, but you keep talking. “We make T-shirts with exclusive pictures, and boom, we’re rich”

“You really want to sell my pictures?” He puts his head on your chest, closing his eyes.

“What about one with no shirt and the mask, to keep your identity safe-” Even though he’s not looking, he can feel your smile as he covers your mouth with his hand.

“Let’s sleep” You laugh, pulling his hand away from your face.

“We could be rich” You remind him.

“Shut up” He chuckles, lifting his head to look at you.

“Okay, maybe not sell them to the press, but” He waits for you to finish, raising his

eyebrows.

“Don’t you think Flash would want a T-shirt from the actual Spiderman?”

He doesn’t react for a moment, considering if you’re being serious or not, then, he kisses you, a quick peck, giving you no time to react.

“I’m so in love with you” He says, his head on your chest again.

"I'm so in love with you too" You tell him, with your hand through his hair.

#peter parker x reader #tasm!peter fluff #tasm peter parker #tasm peter x reader #best friends to lovers

1K notes · View notes

yanderederee · 8 months ago

Text

SleepOver

June1st, 2004

a/n: coping w past trauma go brrrrrr— I thought it was a cute idea. I hope yall like it♡ longer than my usual words tbh, 3.5k words… whoops. ALSO!!! I love! Writing! For MamaBaji Ryoko! Why is she also lowkey a comfort character at this point? Pls read it for her if nothing else ♡

c/w: off screen child ab*se, fluffy comfort though.

before! › now! › after!

⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯✦

Keisuke and Ryoko Baji were sat on their living room sofa, eyes glued to the TV. This was it, the finale of their favorite detective-murder-mystery show. Already half an hour into the episode, they were at the edge of their seats. All the answers to all the mysteries would soon come to light…

That is, until the shrill call of the home phone broke the tension.

“Kei, you get it.” Ryoko said quickly, eyes not leaving the screen. Keisuke clicked his tongue in annoyance. “Just let it ring, I ain’t missing this!”

His mother threw an empty beer can at him weakly. “It’s bad luck to not answer a phone call!”

Keisuke gave an exaggerated groan, before doing as he was told. “Don’t let me miss anything!” He called before picking the phone from its receiver. If only he could simply pause the show for a moment to pick up where he left off….alas, it is 2004—-

“What?” He asked rudely. Before he could even have the chance to correct himself with a proper greeting, the eerie sound of crying stopped him in his tracks.

“K-kei…” your strained voice rang loud— despite it only being a whisper.

“Y/n? What’s wrong? Where are you?” He rapid fired questions, already itching to throw on his shoes.

“H… he hit me… not l-like usual… I—“ you cried even harder, breaking your poor boyfriend’s heart.

“That fucking bastard… are you still at home?” He asked. Honestly, he was eager to speed over and beat your father to a fucking pulp. He’d only met the guy once, by accident. After he learned of your father’s disgusting habit of hitting you anytime he was frustrated, Baji made it a point to make sure you were home as little as possible. He should have rocked his shit the second he first found out.

“He… kicked me out. I kind of already started walking to your place… if that’s okay,” you said softly, worriedly. “I’m sorry I didn’t ask you beforehand, if it any trouble- I’ll—“ you began to excuse yourself, in case inviting yourself over on such short notice was a nuisance.

“I’m on my way. Keep walking along the same path we always do, I’ll find you. I’ll take mom’s phone with me just in case, call me if anything changes, okay? I’ll be there in just a few minutes.” Keisuke sped his words out, turning to his mom expectingly. “I’m sorry….” You sobbed into the reciever. “Don’t apologize, don’t ever apologize. I’ll be there soon, I promise.” He replied softly. “I’ll see you soon, remember, call me on mom’s phone if you need me before I show up.”

After he’d receiving your confirmed response, he hung up the phone and ran to his room to grab his bike keys. “Who was that? Where are you going? Why do you need my phone?” Ryoko called out, worried.

“Y/n. I’m picking her up. Need your phone just in case, alright?” Keisuke said, rather than asked. Her eyes grew wide with worry, quickly pulling the decise out of her purse to hand it to him.

“What happened?” She asked, but her son was in too much of a hurry, already stepping on the heel of his shoes. “I’ll be back,” he gave no further explanation, before running out of his apartment and down the stairs.

After retrieving his bike, he was off like a bat out of hell on route to you. Keisuke could remember the path you both took to walk back and forth between each other’s homes even if he was blindfolded at this point.

True to his word, it had only taken 7 minutes to reach you; who was walking small on the furthest edge of the street. “Y/n!” He yelled after you, skidding his bike to a halt, too quickly had he hopped off and kicked over his kickstand.

He ran to you, arms open for you as you rammed yourself into his chest, tugging tightly to his tee shirt.

“It’s alright, I’ve got you.” He said calmly, careful to maintain his composure for you. He didn’t want you mistaking his pent up aggression as your fault. He could wait to release it the next time he saw your father.

“Keisuke..” you sobbed into his shirt, shaking like a leaf when his arms wrapped around you tightly. “I know. Don’t cry anymore, everything’s fine now.” He did his best at comforting you, even if he wasn’t confident in his ability to do so.

“Let’s go home, we can stop by the corner store and grab some snacks on our way. ‘You ate dinner yet?”

He pulled away, just enough to look at your poor face. God, you bruised fast. Keisuke hated how much the sight sent him over the edge. He always looked at you to feel steady and at ease with all the was wrong in the world. Yet now, seeing you so upset, hair disheveled, tear stained, and bruised… he wasn’t sure how long his restraint would last.

Still, your angelic smile took him out of his grotesque thoughts of violence. You smiled like you were so relieved to see him. Despite your poor state, you were happy to finally be held by your ever concerned boyfriend. “I’d like that…” you whispered, throwing your arms over his shoulders again before burrowing into the crook of his neck.

Baji took a deep— deep breath, before letting it out, and holding you tighter.

How many times would he break his promise of protecting you? The pain of not being able to do so was slowly eating away at him.

⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯✦

When you both finally made it home safe, Ryoko was sitting at the table, fiddling with a cup of tea anxiously. Quick to greet you both, the mother all but froze upon seeing your bruised face. Similarly to her son, her stomach sank and turned. Unable to hide her prickling of tears, Ryoko rushed over to you and held you in her arms tightly.

“Oh honey…” she whispered into your hair, holding back from crying as best she could. Things like this didn’t usually upset her, she’d gotten used to her son coming home with much worse a long time ago.

But you were a different story. You didn’t deserve any of the hurt that came your way.

The feeling of being embraced by her motherly scent, you were quick to tip over the edge as well. You were just emotionally vulnerable right now, you couldn’t help when fresh hot tears came spilling over onto her shirt.

“Sit on the couch, I’ll be right back.” She said with a squeeze, a final look over of your face, before dashing off to the bathroom.

Unsure, you looked over at your boyfriend. He gave you a warm smile and smoothed a hand over your back. Walking with you andsitting next to you on the couch, he pulled open the bag from the corner store. “I know you said you were cool with it, but you’re sure Yakisoba’s alright for dinner? I mean, I do it all the time I guess so I ain’t one to talk but—“

“What? Have you not eaten?” Ryoko asked with furrowed brows, hands full with anti-swelling gel and an ice pack. Nervously, you looked down in your lap. Ryoko sighed, sitting on her knees while giving your face another look over. “It’s okay, I’m not mad sweetheart. I’m happy you’re here,” she said kindly, resting her hand on your opposite cheek. “If you ever need anything, we’ll help you. You don’t even need to ask, okay?” She said while looking you in the eyes, apparently emotional as she did so.

You tried to reply to her kind words, but got chocked up before you could. So instead, you nodded softly, hugging her. She hugged you back, looked at her son, glancing at the first aid materials laid out on the table, and back to him, expectedly.

Keisuke nodded to his mother when she gave you another final squeeze before lifting to her feet. “I was just about to whip up some dinner,” she lied with an award winning grin. “Any requests?” She asked, already halfway to the kitchen.

“Her cooking sucks, but it’s tolerable—“ Keisuke began to tease, expecting to have to dodge a thrown ladle in response. But given the situation, Ryoko’s death glare was equally as bone chilling.

You giggled at the exchange, feeling a weight of tension lifting off your shoulders being in the casual and warm home. “No ma’am, no requests.” You replied. “She likes extra konbu in her soup, and extra rice.” Baji called over, grinning ear to ear when you gave him an embarrassed shove.

“Here,”Keisuke held the ice pack up, now that it wasn’t dangerously cold to hold against your face. Still cold to the touch, you flinched unexpectedly. “Hold that on there for a while. ‘Less you want to be spoiled, I can hold it for ya” he chuckled in jest.

“I got it, thanks.” You chuckled back, and held the ice pack to your cheek.

Keisuke was practically a professional when it came to patching up wounds, ever since his mom started making him to do it himself years ago. He’d be sure to help you apply the anti swelling gel after dinner.

To waste the time, Keisuke quickly turned on the re-run for his show’s finale.

You’d seen enough episodes to know a few characters names, and some important plot points, but still fell short of many of the shocking twists the show threw at your flabbergasted boyfriend.

Sitting so closely on the couch was still a little foreign to you, normally used to sitting side by side on the floor pillows. It felt weird when your knees would touch eachother, or when his arm would casually fall behind you in the back of the couch, his warmth radiating against the back of your neck.

You felt yourself wanting to lean closer, to lay your head against his shoulder. Perhaps if you were alone, you would be so bold. But with his mother just a few feet away; you couldn’t bring yourself to do so.

“Damn that was good!” The youngest Baji hollered with glee. “I know right! Even I couldn’t have saw that one coming!” Ryoko hollered back with a laugh. “Alright, dinners ready!”

Quick to help you up from the couch by ever so chivalrously taking your hand in his, you both made way to sit at the table with giddy little smiles.

It wasn’t much, and while Baji’s off-handed comment wasn’t incorrect, you felt as though you’d just finished eating the best dinner you’d had in a very long time.

“Thanks for the meal!” You tried gathering the dishes together to help clean, but Ryoko simply wouldn’t allow it. “I’m glad someone appreciated it,” she chuckled before beginning the washing.

“About tonight, I’d offer you Keisuke’s bed tonight; but that brat can’t keep his room clean to save his life. The sheet probably hasn’t been—“ “I just washed them three weeks ago!” “Oh my god.” She sighed.

“Anyway, if you don’t mind sleeping on the couch, I’ll have Kei bring out a few blankets to lay on. Is that okay?” She asked worried.

“I really shouldn’t impose,” you tried to deflect the act of kindness, but the thought of going home made you physically want to throw up. “But… as long as you’re okay with having me, the couch is plenty. Thank you so much.”

Ryoko smiled happily, and gave her son a quick look, as if to tell him to fetch what she’d asked for. He obediently got up from his spot at the table, and left to bring in the spare blankets. “Do you need a shower?”

“No ma’am.” “You’re sure? You don’t have to be shy, I’ll lock Kei in his room so he won’t peek.”

“I WOULDNT DO THAT!” Keisuke yelled at the top of his lungs with a red face.

You laughed. “No, I’m alright, really.”

“Alright, I’ll be right back with some night clothes.” She patted your head before walking off to her room.

All the attention had began to overwhelm you, as you started fidgeting in the dinning room chair. It was a lot, more than you could get used to in such a short time.

“Sorry, I can tell you’re probably uncomfortable. That’s just the way she is.” Your boyfriend spoke in a quiet tone, as to not alert his mother in the room over. “She just really cares about you. ‘Appreciate you for putting up with her.”

You both sat in silence for a few seconds, until you stood up and helped with tucking in some blankets between the couch cushions. “You have a really good mom, Kei. I understand why you’re so serious about doing well in school now. Let’s work together to make her proud, okay?” You said to him, earning you a shocked look.

The shock wore off, and left behind a childlike smile. “Let’s do our best.” He agreed, patting your head gently, til his hands began running down the sides of your hair, and onto your cheek.

The genuine moment shared between you two made your heard pound. He’s touch was so gentle and considerate. Had you only known Baji as a brawler, the act would have seemed foreign coming from him. But you knew Keisuke as a gentle person, who loves animals enough to care for the local strays, who looked out for his friends, and fought on their behalf.

This was just another side of him you absolutely adored.

The tension created was undeniable, as you both slowly leaned into one another, threatening to share a kiss in his own living room.

“Alright, here you go!” Ryoko called out loud, as if intentionally. Your faces both went red at being caught to blatantly. “T-thank you!” You yelled back, quick to your feet and to grab the garments from her arms. “I’ll get changed.”

Quick to lock yourself into the bathroom, you couldn’t get over how hot your face was burning. The swelling on your cheek stung at the blood flow, eventually bringing you back to reality.

About why you were there in the first place. You looked in the mirror, assessing the damage for yourself. It was definitely dark, but the swelling was not as bad as it could have been.

As you changed out of your day clothes and into the clean night wear, you noticed something funny. The sweatpants fit fine, but the shirt was considerably large. Looking it over, it was a black shirt with a skull print. Definitely Keisuke’s.

Did she accidentally give you the wrong shirt? Still, as you brought the collar up to hide the lower half of your face, you could smell his usual scent over the laundry detergent. It was so comforting.

After folding your clothes as neatly as possible, you left the bathroom and headed back to the living room.

“Alright let’s see… a plastic bag to store your clothes… an extra pillow… that should be everything.” Ryoko yawned. “Alright, time to call it a night. I work in the morning, but I’ll be quiet so I don’t wake you. Sleep well Y/n~”

She escaped to her room, but quickly gave a shout, “You too Keisuke! Go to bed and don’t try pulling any funny business! My door’s open!”

Keisuke clicked his tongue, rolling his eyes at her final comment.

“Here, let me help you with this real quick, then I’ll be out of your hair.” He said while pulling out the gel from earlier. Careful as to not apply any unnecessary pressure, his middle finger gently rubbed circles into your cheek. You sat patiently as he did so, happy to be taken care of as if you were made of glass.

Once he’d finished, he tried retracting his hand, but… couldn’t. Keisuke looked over your face again, disappointed. “I’m sorry this happened…” he whispered, and hung his head. His hand followed suit, gripped in a fist as it rested beside you on the couch. “I keep saying I’ll protect you, yet…”

You smiled, accepting that it was your turn to comfort his insecurities. “You take care of me more than you realize, Kei… I couldn’t be selfish enough to ask for anything more.”

Baji sighed, laying his head in your lap.

“You should be more selfish, yaknow that?”

“I’ve always taken care of myself. I’ll manage.” You said softly.

It didn’t do anything to comfort him though.

Suddenly, an idea popped in his head. He smiled, and looked up at you from his resting position. “How’s learning self-defense sound? I’ll teach ya.”

Your eyes widened. “Learn self defense? Like, how to fight? I don’t think—“ you nervously looked away, but Keisuke took your hand in his, leaning closer. “Not how to fight, dummy. I’d rather kill someone than let you fight. Just some basic self-defense. Well, maybe more intermediate.” He thought about it eagerly. “Please? I swear I won’t be hard on you. I’ll even demonstrate with Chifuyu first so you know what to do.”

Keisuke has always been a pretty passionate guy, but right now, he was absolutely starry eyed.

Always quick to give in, you giggled at his eagerness. “Sure, I think that’s a good idea.”

After agreeing to his idea of teaching you how to defend yourself, and a final call from his mom to leave you alone, he finally departed into his own room.

Even with all the lights off, and no voices echoing through the small apartment… it felt like a home. A genuine home. It was nothing like the cold, large and quiet house you visited after school.

You felt safe, secure under the cozy blankets. The couch was comfortable, and the extra pillows elevated your head to lesson the swelling in the morning.

Therefore, There was no reason for you to be awake still, after two hours of tossing and turning.

It’s not like you were uncomfortable. Why couldn’t you go to sleep? Perhaps it was because your mind was working overtime. When you went home in the morning, dad was sure to be pissed at you for not coming home, even if he was the one to kick you out in the first place.

You were literally damned if you did return, and damned if you didn’t. You were worried about the consequences. Would he hit you the same as he did just a few hours ago? Would he ignore you? Ground you? Forbid you from seeing Baji ever again?

Well, it’s not like he knew Baji was your boyfriend in the first place. He probably already forgot all about his existence.

Still, the possibilities kept multiplying, causing you to stir with upset.

“Hey, you still awake…?” A soft whisper called from the other end of the living room. Turning to face the sound, you found Keiuske standing awkwardly. “Yeah…” you whispered back in a disappointed tone. “Can I sit with you?” He asked right after; already making his way closer to you.

You could never deny him, ever.

“Of course,” you smiled at him through the darkness, finally able to make out his facial features with him closer now, seated on the floor by your head. “Why are you still awake?”

Keisuke rested his arm on the couch, laying his head like a pillow against it as he stared at you. “I dunno.” He lied. It was easy to tell when he lied when he looked at you so sincerely.

“You sure?” You doubled down, propping your head up on your wrist to look down at him. He didn’t look away.

“I just…” Keisuke thought about his next words carefully. “I don’t know why, really… guess I’m just restless.”

You nodded, folding back a piece of hair that fell in his face. “Me too.” you lied. And he could tell. He didn’t call you out on it though. Playing with his hair eventually lead to you running your fingers through it, the same as you would when petting PekeJ. This brought Baji so much comfort, his eyes started slacking.

Not wanting to say anything to ruin the mood, you silently kept petting Baji’s smooth hair through your fingers., occasionally running your nails along his scalp to ease him further. While he began to doze off, you took time to appreciate how pretty your boyfriend was.

His clear complexion, although littered with tiny battle scars. His thick eyebrows, permanently narrowed to give him his signature resting bitch face. The faint scent of strawberry chapstick, the same one you gifted him after teasing him about how chapped his lips were for your first kiss.

Everything about him made you feel so at ease. Completely entranced, you couldn’t think about anything else.

No stupid stuff like your family, at least.

Once you were certain he had fallen asleep, you leaned in close and laid a kiss on his forehead. “I love you,”you whispered away from his ear, not wanting to wake him.

And despite not being conscious, Keisuke smiled.

You pulled one of the multiple blankets off of you, and gently draped it over him.

You laid your head down again, and watched the back of his eyelids dance in slumber, his soft snoring helping ease you to sleep yourself.

taglist: @lovley212 ,

#FragileDearest #I hope this post reaches you in good spirits #I’m sincerely unwell #tokyo revengers #tokyo rev #tokyo revengers x reader #tokyo rev x y/n #tr x reader #Tokyo revengers baji #tr baji #Baji #Baji keisuke #keisuke baji #baji x reader #keisuke x reader #baji keisuke x reader #a letter from Baji Keisuke #letter from keisuke baji

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bengals-barnesbabe · 5 months ago

Text

Date Night

Pairing: Avenger!Bucky Barnes x Black!Nurse Reader

Warnings: mdni, mentions of sex, jokes about age.

Main Masterlist

WC: 1.3k

✧༺♥༻∞

Being at the Avengers Compound on your day off used to be weird. Avengers are cool and all, and you’re very appreciative for the chance to be considered ‘part of the team’ even if you only worked in the Medbay. No one wants to hang around their place of work when they don’t need to be. Then you started seeing a certain blue-eyed brunette super soldier.

So here you are walking through the main hallways to the the gym and passing a good amount of agents and techs enjoying their breaks. Then you hear your name being called. You look up from your phone and see Aaliyah, a friend of yours that works in the special equipment department (aka Avengers Weapons Only). You walk up to the cafe where her and some other work mates like to frequent.

“Hey Liyah, I didn’t know you were working today.”

She brings you in for a side hug. “I know, I’m not supposed to be, but Mr. Wilson just had to call me on my day off about fixing redwing.” Her cool demeanor shudders as the Falcon’s name coasts out of her lips.

You smirk. “I think he would prefer if you just called him Sam or your boyfriend. Your pick.”

She covers her face and shakes her head. “How about we talk about why you’re here on your day off? The Medbay is about 6 floors up and on the other side of campus.”

“Hey, I’m completely fine with saying I’m here for my man.”

The light cockiness in your voice paints a mischievous grin on her lips. “Oh speaking of your boyfriend, does Barnes know how to use a pc- no a toaster- nope a smartphone?”

“Oh fuck off, is that what yall actually think?” You scoff as a people 10ft away from you shake their heads. “No fucking way, you can’t be serious!”

“Girl half of these people have never even seen him in person and they work in the same building he lives in.” Kyla, another nurse, says from the end of the table.

You roll your eyes and look at Aaliyah. “For real?” She nods her head.

“You know he wasn’t frozen for 70 years straight right? He couldn’t be a spy if he didn’t know how to blend in.”

“How does he work a phone with the metal arm though?” She asks as someone comes up behind her.

“He has a flip phone, gotta remember he’s an old man.” Sam chuckles as she jolts out of her skin.

“You asshole! I told you to wait downstairs.” He shrugs and throws an arm around her.

“You said you’d be back by 2:30, now I’m a punctual man baby. I waited a whole 5 minutes before tracking you down.” She buries her face in his chest to hide how he flustered her with the pet name. So cute.

“You should be going too, the old man has not stopped talking about you since we got here. I swear I’m gonna ask for a new mission partner.” You smile then hug them goodbye.

The walk from the break center/ cafeteria to the weapons testing arena and gym is a 5 minute straight shot. It also where you’d more times than not find your boyfriend. In the miniscule chance that he isn’t, you could probably find him in a conference room, with Captain Rogers outside lapping civilians or his suite. The kitchen exactly because those soldiers can eat.

But the second those sliding doors open to his personal gun range, you see him just like you knew you would. He sat on a stool at a table with his muscular back adorned in a form fitting black henley and black jeans that emphasized his ridiculously thick thighs. His neck length brown hair is tied up in an adorable blue silk scrunchie as he dissembles his favorite rifle to clean it. You lean against the door frame just admiring the man’s beauty for a while more. He most definitely knows your behind him thanks to his enhances senses and experience as a spy, but that would not stop you from-

“Enjoying the view pretty girl?” Exactly, he gets it.

You smile and walk up to him, “absolutely.” You hum hugging his back and tracing your short almond acrylics across his abdomen.

A strong warm hand covers yours as he chuckles, a deep almost gravely laugh that electrifies every cell in your body. “I’ll be done in a couple minutes, then we can go.”

You watch from over his shoulder the way his hands work in tandem to polish each nook and cranny of the gun. His vibraninum fingers curling around the body of it cause a shiver down your spine as you think about the nights you spend withering in his bed thanks to them. You shake those thoughts away and lay your head on his shoulder.

He brings one of your hands up and places his soft lips to your knuckles. “Fuck you smell so good. I knew you were coming before you hit the door.” He groans extending the kiss to your wrist before placing your hand back on his stomach.

“It’s your favorite, and you haven’t even seen the whole outfit yet.”

He lets out another one of those heavenly chuckles. “Aw baby, did you get all dressed up for me?” The gun clicks shut and you feel yourself spinning around to face him.

“You like?” He takes your hand and you beam as he spins your once more.

Since you were just going to a drive in movie, you paired a simple black top with your his favorite pair of dark gray baggy jeans that hug your waist and accentuate your ass just the way he likes. You couldn’t go wrong with some gold jewelry that shines beautifully on your brown skin. The whole look complimented itself.

Your 4c hair on the other hand didn’t want to cooperate this morning, the week old braid out was at its wits end and desperately needs all the mousse and gel washed out of it. So you did what you had to, found a giant hair tie, slicked your edges back and finger coiled a few strands in the front to give the look back some of it’s life.

He nods biting his lip and looking you up and down. “You look just how you smell: decadent, like one of those death by chocolate cakes you love. And like you want to spend the rest of this weekend in my bed naked.” He smirks.

You hook your arms around his neck, step into the spot between his strong legs. “Well Mr. Barnes, we can’t have that. You promised me dinner and movie and the look’s not complete yet.”

He raises a brow and dips his face to yours. “Oh yea,” he says huskily. “What could possibly be missing? You already have the body glitter.” The takes an imaginary bite out of your glazed arm. You nod at the leather jacket hanging on the hook by the door and he grins instantly.

“Go walkin’ around in that and everyone will know you’re mine.” He growls, his crystal blues deepening in hue flickering from your eyes to your lips.

“Maybe that’s exactly what I want.” You whisper against his lips tilting your head to connect them to yours.

His soft lips melted into yours perfectly, your hands pull on the hair tie locking away his silky locks and gently pull at them. He groans languidly licking into your mouth and swiftly lifting you into his lap, his hands holding firmly on your ass. Just like that it feels like the first time. Your heart beating heavily against your chest while you learn each other mouths. Tugging at his roots a bit more you nip his bottom lip and smile.

“You love playing with fire love.”

You cheekily chuckle pulling back, “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

He squeezes your cheeks then playfully smacks one inciting a gasp from you. “A dangerous, dangerous game that could cost you your night.”

“Aw but my favorite movie is playing.” Your fake pout morphs itself into a smirk. “Or maybe I wanted to makeout with my hot Brooklyn boyfriend in public without anyone knowing.” He bites his lip as you look at him with siren eyes.

“And people wonder why I can’t stop talking about you, my girl is a damn minx. Fuck it, lets go.” He sighs as you jump off his lap and grab his leather jacket.

While he’s securely putting away his rifle, you look over at him and smirk putting on the jacket. “Thanks daddy.”

His eyes go wide as you walk out the door giggling.

Gotta love date night.

♥*♡∞:｡.｡

AN: I was missing the character that brought me back to my passion, so this was really for me but yall can enjoy it too xox

as always likes, reblogs and comments are appreciated

#black reader #bucky barnes fanfiction #james bucky barnes #james buchanan barnes #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes #bucky barnes x black!reader #bucky x reader #sam wilson #nurse!reader #bucky barnes fluff #fluff #bengals barnesbabe #bucky #marvel fanfiction #marvel fanfic #comfort fic #comfort character #date night

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allmcl · 1 year ago

Note

hi!! do you also write for armin (separately)? ive been craving some armin content for a while and i found your account, your writing is so amazing, and i was wondering if you'd write something where candy and armin arent back together yet in UL and, after a night in the snake room with alexy, rosa, priya and the others, armin decides to fight for her love not knowing he doesn't need to fight for it since she's head over heels for him

STILL HERE │ Armin Keenan.

When a reunion with an old love reminds Armin of everything they experienced together, he decides that after so much time, it's now or never that he should get you back.

pairing('s). armin keenan x f!reader

genre. fluff, angsty.

content wanings. mentions of breakup, alcohol consuming, cursing, kissing, suggestive themes.

author's note. MISSED THIS BOY SO MUCH DURING UL, hope you like this!! (tysm for requesting, sorry it took so long!) AND BTW, i found like a lot of lastnames and i decided for this one (not sure if is the canon one ://)

I was sure that my return to the city would be harder. After all, I couldn't blame anyone for being angry with me. If one of my friends just left, without even saying goodbye, I wouldn't be happy either. But, luckily for me, they had a much better reaction than I expected.

At the moment, I only saw Rosa and Melody. Although perhaps I didn't know how to show it at the time, having seen them after so long squeezed my heart so much that I still feel my emotions on the surface.

To tell the truth, I'm scared. Although I used to seeing eachother very often in high school, whether to go out for a drink or just to walk around the city, this is not high school anymore. And it's now, when I'm getting ready to go out, that I feel like I'm getting ready in my old room to go shopping with the them. The phone vibrates, and brings me out of my melancholic thoughts.

I look at him out of the corner of my eye, the screen glows with a notification from Alex.

Alex…

I refrain from further worries and simply read it from the preview.

"[Y/NNN]??? we are waiting for youuuu"

"Years waiting to see you, and you still late🙄"

I smiled wistfully. I know he says it jokingly, but the guilt is real. But that's not important now, because it's once and for all my time to fix that, and to get back on track with my life here. I type a quick, “on my way,” before pocketing my phone and heading out the door to my campus room. Although the phone rings again, I don't bother checking it and I hurry to arrive on time.

I look at the time on the screen: "11:48." I curse under my breath. I'm a little embarrassed to admit that I'm lost, and that even though I've been wandering around on the same street for more than twenty minutes, I still can´t find the bar. On the other hand, who would think of inviting someone to a place and not sending the address?

When I start to stress again, I recognize a voice in the distance that I would recognize anywhere. It's Alex. I follow the sound, although I don't pay attention to what it says, none of it matters when I see it. His eyes light up and he falls silent immediately. As I expected, he almost hugged me to the ground. Rosa also briefly joined our hug, smiling as she watched us interact.

"Finally!" He screeches in my ear, and although it dazes me a little I laugh out loud. "I missed you like crazy…" He whispered to me, and I had to separate myself for a moment to not burst out crying in my place.

"I missed you, Alex.." I sighed, but he seemed to notice my mood, changing the subject slighlty.

"You´re back, all that matters." He jokes, and I smile. "I hope you're ready for the surprise then."

I raise an eyebrow. "Surprise?"

"Yes, I told you by text." He emphasized obviously, gesturing towards his phone.

Of course, the text I didn't read. I nod briefly, so he thinks I know what he's talking about. Their surprises honestly scare me. They can go from something exciting to something illegal, you never know what to expect from these two. I'm nervous yes, I assume the "surprise" is inside.

"It's not bad at all." Rosa calms me down, she seems to read my mind sometimes. "I promise you'll be happy"

Well, now I'm scared.

Alexy wastes no time in cutting off the conversation, and Rosa simply presses her hand on my back lovingly, urging me to enter the disco-bar, "Snake Room." This was definitely not there when I lived here. Well, most of the things I see now didn't used to be there. Upon entering I immediately notice the loud music, the smoke and the smell of alcohol, the lights blur my vision a little, and it is difficult for me to discern where Alex is.

Rosa guides me a little to the table near the bar, which seems to be one of the quietest places in the place. But that's when the colored lights hanging near the stage allow me to catch a glimpse of him.

"I thought it would be nice for you to see each other again." Alex says, trying to calm the tension in the air.

My breath stops for a few moments. I don't know how to feel, but my body responds on its own. I'm shaking a little, and at this point I don't know if it's the flashing lights or their presence that's making me dizzy. I can barely move to get close to greet him. He changed a lot. Of course his essence is still there, I can tell, but it's definitely different.

"Welcome back." His voice is also different, deeper I could say. It throws me off a little. Well, all of him does. I curse myself internally. I was convinced I was ready for this, but I see I'm not.

I smile at him reflexively, and sit down across from him. The silence feels quite loud now that I feel his gaze on me, even though I avoid making eye contact. Rosa clears her throat, and gestures indiscreetly at Alex. I would laugh, if it weren't for the fact that this whole situation has me totally overwhelmed. I look at him for a few seconds, but he was already looking at me. God, I don't know if I can handle this.

"I imagined you´d be happier…" He smiled with amusement, and I couldn't help but feel my heart skip a beat at his expression. He looks boyish, in a strange way. It's as if for a moment, his expression took me back to high school Armin.

"I'm surprised, that's all." I laugh nervously.

"Well, he came all the way here just to see you." Alexy clarifies, but Rosa waves him off with a glare.

I look at him with my eyes slightly open. "You´re not living here?" The question escapes me before I can think about it.

"Not quite." He clarifies, and takes a sip of beer. It's now that my throat feels a little dry, but I don't feel like drinking alcohol. I could end up doing things i´ll regret. "Although now that you're back, I'd think about it." He winks at me.

I looked to the side, and felt my cheeks burn a little. It looked like it was going to be a long night.

"I thought you were tougher." Rosa reproaches, tripping a little, but Alexy holds her steady. "Now you go to bed early and don't drink. You've become an old man." He grimaces, and a laugh escapes us.

"It's not that!" Alex complains. "I just wanted to greet [y/n] sober." He looks at me smiling, and I smile back. "I'll take care of the old drunk" Rosa exclaims a "hey!" and hits him lightly on the shoulder, but he doesn't flinch.

"Are you back on campus?" Armin asks me, and then I remember that he is, in fact, still here. He looks at me, waiting for my response but I freeze instantly. Every time he speaks I experience the same embarrassment.

"Well, I'll leave you, lovebirds." The idiot does it on purpose. But for the first time, I notice that I'm not the only one embarrassed, Armin's cheeks turn pink, and he sends a reproachful look to his twin, who smiles innocently. Some things never change, I see. "Take care of her." It sounds more like a threat than a request, to which the black-haired man rolls his eyes and nods.

I watch Alexy walk away in the opposite direction.

Silence falls between us, and it is until we see the two disappear after turning down the street that I understand that I am alone with him. I smile awkwardly at him before taking a couple steps back.

"I'll walk you back." I open my eyes a little, and look at him with surprise. He seems sure of his words, and looks at me expectantly with that smile of his that I still have to get used to. "I don't like the idea of you walking alone,"

"As much of a gentleman as I remembered." I reply, a flirtatious smile escaping me and Armin simply smiles wider. "It's close, anyway"

"I insist." His expression is confident, and well, I don't mind his company either.

With a slight nod of my head, Armin understands that I agree, so we start walking towards the campus. The silence this time is not awkward, and although we don't talk about anything, it really feels like there are an infinite number of topics to touch on. Not very pleasant topics. After all, we can't ignore that we were together, and that the break-up wasn´t the most pacific thing either.

"I was also glad to see you again." I whisper, and even though my voice sounds quiet, he hears me. He always does.

"I figured you'd be mad." He confesses, and although I don't see his face I know he's looking at me.

Deep down, yes I am. But I'm not sure if that was enough of a reason to ruin the evening and Alex's surprise. It would have been nice to have mentally prepared myself so that I wouldn't have reacted like a schoolgirl to seeing him.

"Well, it's been a long time…" I clear my throat a little. "I have my reasons to be tho."

"Yeah, but I bet you forgot all of it with how good I look." He mocks, smiling widely.

I click my tongue. "You can't use your face to change the past."

"You're right, but I can use it to change things now." A lopsided smile appears on his features, and his comment takes me by surprise.

I tense up suddenly and simply look away. I hate that probably if he tried… "You're too cocky." I complain.

Deep down, I wonder if that would bother me. It's stupid. Armin didn't care that we broke up, I really wonder what his intentions are now. But, I can't deny that the memory is still alive in me. Everything about him remains in me as if he had never left, and it bothers me that I couldn't change that in this embarrassing amount of time we were apart.

"I just feel like I'm not the only one." Armin grumbles, shoving his hands into the pockets of his baggy pants. Now I also notice that his style is different. It doesn't seem like his brother intervenes as much in his clothes as before, that is, he maintains a bit of his own style more than anything. More calm and informal.

"What is that supposed to mean?" I grimace, crossing my arms before looking back at him.

"I say that because I notice the way you look at me." His words make me even more angry. Sometimes I feel like there is no one who can read me like he does. It was always like this, since we were young. One expression on my face was enough for Armin to decipher what was happening to me.

"I―no.." I stuttered and he noticed it, however, he didn't continue probing and I remained silent.

The walk to campus was getting shorter, and I wasn't sure I knew how to say goodbye. Everything was so strange. It's not that I want to see him, but knowing that he was going to leave made me feel like I couldn't just leave him like that. My heart is beating fast, I feel like even he can hear it.

And although it seems like things can't get any worse, several drops falling on my hair bring me out of my frantic thoughts. The chance of rain was quite low today, but of course it has to rain anyway.

"This weather is a bit nice." Armin points out, extending his palm to feel the raindrops on it, which slowly intensify.

"Nice? I'm soaking my clothes." I grumble, trying to cover myself a little.

"On one of these days we kissed for the first time" Armin smiles to himself, and simply lowers his gaze to look me in the eyes.

Shit. I didn't expect to have to think about this again. Less now that he´s here. Of course I remember it. I invited him to eat at the restaurant where we made that ridiculous double date that I actually still remember as one of my most precious moments.

On the way back home, rain started pouring and us, like idiots, hide nder a tree until it calmed down a bit. I wouldn´t forget something as special as that.

"You have no right Armin." I feel my eyes water at the memory, but I am relieved to know that because of the rain it is not very noticeable. "You can't say that now."

"It's not easy to pretend that I don't remember anything that happened." He frowns a little and stops in the middle of the street, forcing me to do the same.

"I'm not asking you to do it but…" I stop, feeling a sudden lump in my throat.

"And you can't pretend that the same thing doesn't happen to you."

And he is right. He always is when he talks about my feelings. He is correct, of course. Since I saw him, I knew that in fact, nothing of what I felt for him had managed to dissipate over the years. My heart still belongs to him.

"I lost you once, [y/n]. I can't let you go again…" His words hit me like a bucket of cold water. "When I knew you were coming back I―…"

I interrupted him. "Do you think it's easy for me?" I raised my tone of voice slightly, the fierce rain drowning out the noise a little. "Your lack of interest tired me out, Armin. You can't come back into my life like this and expect me to throw myself into your arms like it was nothing."

"I know I did things wrong, but I can still show you that I changed!" He raised his voice too. My heart was racing, and his blue eyes looking at me like I was the only thing in the world made me feel like a teenager again. "I'm not the same one who made mistakes. The only thing that remains of me is the love I have for you, [y/n], it's the only thing I couldn't change."

Tears are streaming down my face, and I don´t think it comes unnoticed by him anymore. He sheepishly tries to dry them, but the water keeps running down.

"Look at me," Armin approached me and forced me to look at him with a gentle movement of his hand. He pressed his fingers a little on my chin. "I love you." And now, in his bright eyes, in his warm hands and in his smile that I never thought I would see again, I see the truth.

Without being able to get the words out of my mouth, frustrated, angry, I let myself go and as if my hands knew their way, they wrapped themselves around his neck and pulled him closer to me. Our breaths merge and his arms end up around my waist. We are so close I memorize every feature of his face, every new thing my eyes notice.

"Are you going to kiss me or keep making me wait?" He murmured, and to silence him once and for all I kissed him.

I felt safe, at peace. Like I've been waiting for this forever. His lips fit perfectly on mine as always, his grip tightens and I need to hold on to him as I feel my legs shake a little. It's passionate, fierce. It's not like the way he kissed me before, so innocent and clumsy.

The butterflies that I thought were dead begin to flutter in my stomach again, and the only thing that separates me from jim is the lack of air. But even though we break the kiss, Armin doesn't let me go, he keeps me close to him and brings our foreheads together.

"This time I'll make you stay." He sighs, and kisses me again to seal his promise.

©allmcl !

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imaginedanvrs · 1 year ago

Text

my demon gave me everything

part 6 l masterlist

summary: dark!natasha romanoff x reader. Natasha Romanoff saves the world. Morals, lifestyle and past aside, the fact is that she puts her life on the line for everyone else. And for this, she believes she’s owed something. She saves billions of lives on the regular, so why not take the occasional one for herself?

word count: 3.6k

warnings: established kidnapping, extreme abuse, power dynamics, manipulation, gaslighting, drugging, rape, developing stockholm syndrone

“You got a clock,” you noted as you admired the basic clock hanging just above the cabinets in the kitchen. You had been pouring yourself a bowl of cereal when you noticed it but pushed it aside to gaze up at the instrument that read late morning.

“I did,” Natasha confirmed as she came up beside you to look at the clock. You stood in silence for a minute and you were grateful that the clock didn’t have a consistent ticking sound emanating off it.

“Thank you,” you said sincerely. The redhead nodded simply and went to grab her own breakfast but stopped dead in her tracks when her phone chimed with a sound you had become familiar with as some kind of work emergency. Natasha’s eyes scanned her screen like a hawk before she whizzed around and headed for the stairs without a beat.

“I’ll be back in a few hours,” she called back over her shoulder as she ran the steps three at a time. You nodded back unbothered despite her not seeing you and grabbed some milk from the fridge and a spoon, bringing them over to the kitchen island where you sat and continued to look at the new addition to the apartment.

It was only when you were half way through your cereal that you realised you had never heard a beep indicating that the door by the stairs had locked behind Natasha. It was loud enough that even when you weren’t listening out for it, you could hear it even from the bathroom. You frowned and leaned back in your seat to see if the Avenger was still lingering around the apartment but you couldn’t see her. You shovelled down a couple more tablespoons of your cereal before placing the bowl in the sink and wandering out into the main space and towards the stairs.

You froze when you saw the door slightly ajar. You didn’t dare take a step any closer at first, assuming that the redhead was standing just behind the door waiting for you to take the bait. You swallowed a lump in your throat and strained your eyes to see that something was wedging the door open, as though catching just as Natasha had run out. It would make some sense if it had happened so quickly that the redhead hadn’t even noticed, still, you were cautious.

You eyed up the door for a while, playing different scenarios over in your head of what could greet you behind the barrier. If it really was an opportunity to leave, you needed to take it. You were all too aware of how complacent you were becoming in the apartment and as much as you wanted to stop it you couldn’t seem to. There in front of you was a chance to put an end to it all. So you started up the stairs.

Your feet felt heavy as you trudged up each step, as though you were on your way to the gallows. You kept your eyes trained on the door, waiting for the redhead to jump out and even lingered on the final step to see if anything would happen. Seconds passed in a deafening silence so you pushed the door open slightly to see that it had been wedged over by a metal pencil holder and multiple fountain pens on the floor. You ignored them and continued on, taking in your surroundings as best you could.

The space in front of you seemed to be an open planned office. There was a considerably large desk with multiple monitors placed precisely with numerous other tech you didn’t quite recognise placed across the workspace. There were also several shelves placed near the desk that kept numerous ornaments on display that you didn’t have time to examine.

You continued down as the space turned into a large corridor with two sizable rooms either side of a divot. The doors were shut and there was no indicator of what was inside but you didn’t much care about them, you only wanted to find the main door that you discovered to be within the divot. It wasn’t quite what you were preparing for. Given the state of the apartment’s other devices, you figured the main door would have even more extravagant technology to it, instead, it was just a simple handle for the doors that always opened from the inside but always locked from the outside.

You grabbed the handle and swung the door open in a flurry of movement then haltered before your feet could step over the threshold. You were scared.

Ahead of you was a lobby perhaps two hundred square feet wide. There was a small white sofa against the far wall that looked as though it had never been sat on and reminded me of the ones in dentist practices. There was no other input of interior design or decoration to the room, leaving you to stare directly ahead at the elevator in front of you. There was only one button to the side, one button that could take you back outside. Strangely, you felt your chest tighten at the thought.

What would you even do when you got out? You didn’t know New York at all, you had no idea where you actually were, not to mention you had no money or a phone. If you explained to a stranger or the police what had happened, would they even believe you? Perhaps if you left out the fact that it was an Avenger that kidnapped you it would be more believable. But what was to stop Natasha from finding you again, she would surely know what your first move would be.

Besides…did you even really want to go? It was hard supporting myself, working non stop just to pay rent and have food on my plate. You were exhausted and it seemed like there was never going to be an end in sight. What did you even have to show for any of it? You barely had anyone to share it all with either. You had started to think you never would, that you wouldn’t ever attain the company you so desperately desired because no one would ever desire it from you. Everything was hopeless. At least the hopelessness you felt with Natasha was a secure one, at least that’s what you thought. You were always too preoccupied with fearing she was going to hurt you than fearing she would kick you out, because that’s what you thought you wanted.

Your head pounded as you attempted to process it all. You were there against your will. You had spent so much time thinking of ways you could get out, yet when you were given the opportunity, you just couldn’t. But you had to.

You took a tentative step over the doorway and out into the harsh lighting of the lobby and froze again. You hated it. You hated weighing up such a decision in your head, you needed someone to make the decision for you, to lead you away or push you back in. You didn’t know what was best for you.

You took another step so that both feet were beyond the apartment when all of a sudden you were being hauled back in by your hair and slammed against the nearest wall. You cried out and struggled against the crushing weight of the redhead as your mind raced with what had just happened. She was still in the apartment?

Natasha slammed the door shut with her foot, the obnoxious bang making you jump and cower further into the wall. “You fucking bitch,” she spat and pressed something solid into your back. You whimpered when you realised it was a handgun and felt bile rise in your throat. “You really thought I was so stupid that I’d leave the fucking door open?” She demanded.

“No! No, that’s not-” you tried desperately to defend yourself but Natasha didn’t want to hear a word of it, instead hitting the back of your head with the weapon with a dull thud you didn’t truly feel till a few moments after. “Please don’t kill me,” you begged, completely at the redhead’s mercy.

“Oh, detka. I’m not gonna kill you,” she cooed, condescending dripping from her voice. “You’re not worth the trouble.” You exhaled shakily and screwed your eyes shut as much as you could, awaiting an explanation.

“You know, in Iran, they still cut off the fingers of thieves. Sometimes even their whole hands,” Natasha explained with a storyteller air. You began to panic as you immediately recognised where she was going. You squirmed against her but stopped when she put the gun back against your back. “They make sure the low life that tried it won’t even think of doing such a thing again, it works perfectly. I always admired how they think and I reckon I can use that right now,” she explained slowly.

“No, please!” You whimpered but she immediately shushed you.

“You tried to run away, malysh, from the home I was so generous to let you into. So now I have to make sure you won’t ever try that again.” Without a pause, Natasha drew back her heavy boot, this time alerting you to the metal cover on the toes, and kicked your ankle with what felt like all the strength in her body. You cried again and would have toppled to the floor if it wasn’t for the redhead holding you up.

“I’m sorry!” You sobbed. Unfortunately the redhead wasn’t done and pulled her foot back to strike you again, impossibly harder than the first. You screamed as your whole leg erupted into a blaze of pain, as though every single nerve ending had been subjected to Natasha’s anger. You think she kicked again, but you blacked out too quickly to know for sure.

Natasha stepped back when you passed out and let your limp body drop to the floor in a heap. She stared down at you, anger continued to course through her veins fiercely. There had been a point when she watched you that she genuinely thought you wouldn’t leave, that you would close the door and pretend you hadn’t seen it open. She was foolish. You had made her think foolishly. You weren’t any different to the others and the fact she had believed you were, even for a minute, made her furious. They all tried to leave, every single one of them. Even with your conflicting emotions you were ultimately no different.

The redhead didn’t wait for you to come back around before she held you by the back of your shirt and dragged your unconscious body across the floor to the stairs with ease. It was only once you got to the landing that you started to come to. You were merely confused at first as the room and floor moved beneath you but once you reached the first step you were immediately alerted to what was happening and your ankle flared up once more, this time along with your back as the redhead dragged you down the unforgiving steps.

You made a futile attempt to squirm out of Natasha’s grasp but it was to no avail and you continued to be dragged down, each step hitting as much of you as possible. It felt like it was never ending and eventually the flat floor was a welcome relief although the burning in your ankle never let up. You knew straight away it was broken. You had never broken a bone before.

Natasha flung you across the bedroom floor where you lay like an abandoned mutt then hauled you up onto the bed. You made eye contact for a moment and you were struck by just how furious the redhead was. She looked as though she was using all her self restraint to stop herself pulling out the gun lodged in her waistband and putting it to your skull. You cowered back, unable to bear another second of those piercing green eyes and sobbed into the bed. You didn’t care how weak you appeared. You had fucked up so you had to face the consequences.

You thought Natasha was going to hit you, beat you, kick you, strangle you, anything like that. Instead, she walked away, leaving you in a defeated heap where you stayed for days.

You didn’t understand what Natasha wanted. You didn’t understand what you wanted. You didn’t know what you were expected to do or what you should do. You were paralysed under the uncertainty of it all, always spending so much time figuring out how to even react to something that it was over before you even got half way to figuring it out.

When Natasha fucked you she made it clear she was frustrated by your constant lack of response. Your body felt too heavy to provide any kind of physical reaction to the redhead and you were too tired to be at all verbal. Luckily, Natasha’s touch still made you wet, even if it took a little more to get there, but you rarely came, too caught up in your head to be able to follow through for that long. It certainly didn’t help that you were in constant intense pain as the redhead gave you nothing for your ankle, not that you would have been capable of taking a tablet anyway. It constantly felt like your bones around your foot had been shattered and the skin around it mangled. Although you refrained from looking at it, you could feel that it was getting more and more swollen too. You would be concerned if you weren’t more worried about how to please Natasha again.

As the days went on, the Russian only grew more irritated by your mental absence, of course not taking any blame in the slightest. At times, she wondered if you had reached your breaking point and if she should just put you both out of your misery, but something told her not to do it yet and instead see if there was anything else you had left to offer.

Little did either of you know that you shared a unique sense of betrayal. You had believed things were turning around, that Natasha was very gradually becoming more sincere. But her test had left you back where you started: unsure what to make of the redhead but knowing she wasn’t good news.

Meanwhile, Natasha felt betrayed that you had led her to believe you were different, that you would be the first one not to leave and that something new would finally happen. You had both been feeding yourselves lies about the other under the illusion of wanting something better. You were both fools, the only difference was that while you accepted the feeling, Natasha was adamant to get it out of her system the only way she knew how, to make you look worse.

It was by no means hard for the Avenger to get ahold of the muscle relaxant drugs, nor was it to administer it. You didn’t even flinch when she pushed the fine needle into your arm and let the fluid seep into your body. It was quick working, but you hadn’t even realised what you were feeling until Natasha’s hands were on you in an all too familiar way. Except when you tried to tilt your head down to watch her spread your legs, you discovered that you couldn’t.

Immediately panicked, you parted your lips to tell the redhead that you were unable to move but was terrified to discover that it extended to your mouth and you were only able to make a small sound of distress. It was enough to get Natasha’s attention although when you saw the small smirk on her own lips, your panic only grew.

You tried with all your might to move your arms or legs or anything but to your dismay, you were completely paralysed. It wasn’t that your body felt heavy or stiff, more that it simply wasn’t there. Soon, you had lost all sensation entirely, even that of Natasha’s. You watched on in horror as she put her hand to your cheek but felt no contact.

“What’s the matter, detka? You don’t like it like this?” She asked with a pout. You made another small noise in the back of your throat that only amused the redhead more. “Well I didn’t like how you were being before,” the Russian said simply. “You didn’t react to anything I did and yet you were still wet, so I thought it wouldn’t make much difference if I made sure you really couldn’t move,” she continued as she leaned closer to you. “Besides, at the end of the day, it’s really not your call,�� she shrugged and took two fingers in her mouth before dropping them between your legs to touch you in a way you would never know.

Natasha took her time in exploring you. She knew your body well but was interested in the new way you lay sprawled out for her with no way of denying her. It wasn’t exactly how she liked it, there was no fight for her to win or control for her to gain. Not to mention there was no way to make you cum in such a state, but it was making you scared, and that was enough for the redhead to make her point clear enough that she was sure she wouldn’t have to return to the method.

Soon enough, tears were rolling down your cheeks for the spy to wipe away with a satisfied hum. You stared up at her pleadingly, knowing she knew you hated the position she had put you in and praying she would stop. “Oh this still isn’t fun for you?” She frowned mockingly. “It’s not the best for me either, detka,” she continued though her voice took a threatening edge. “But this is just how it’s gonna have to be from now on unless you start giving me what I want again,” Natasha explained slowly, prying herself away from you and undoing her belt buckle to display the sizable strap on she was packing. It was the same one that under normal circumstances you whined and cried when Natasha fucked you with it, at least it didn’t hurt that time.

The redhead crawled on top of you again and shushed your insistent noises, giving you some time to bathe in the anticipation before she was driving herself forwards. She dug her fingers into the sheets around your head and used them as leveredge as she buried her head into your neck. You wondered if she was leaving marks there. You hadn’t missed the occasional sound of her dragging her nails across your skin and knew you would find red streaks there as soon as you could look again.

By the time the redhead finally grew either tired or disinterested, the unknown chemicals in your body were starting to wear off. You had your nerves back and felt all the small touches and brushes from Natasha, even finding a faint voice, but your limbs felt too heavy to move so you continued to stay where you were next to the spy with her running her hands through your slightly tangled hair.

You lay in silence for a good while, neither of you attempted to sleep or make conversation, but just being content to lay still. You didn’t like what she did. You had never felt so helpless in your life and you had feared it was going to continue for a much longer period of time. However the aftermath was something you were more comfortable with. You enjoyed it on the rare occasions Natasha went as far as to play with your hair, it would have lulled any other time. It was almost enough to make you forgive her so soon as well. Knowing how pathetic that was, you forced yourself to hold the grudge for longer, trying to hold onto those fears.

“Why don’t you fight me anymore?” Natasha asked suddenly. Her voice made me jump a little.

“I don’t…” you frowned, trying to clear the fog in your brain, “I don’t know what you mean?”

“I thought you had a lot of fight in you,” the redhead said plainly. You were too muddled to take the insult for what it was.

“I did fight. A lot,” you pointed out, thinking back on your attempts.

“I wouldn’t say a lot,” Natasha replied. “You did give it some good attempts, but then you stopped. Why?” You gathered as much strength as you could to peer up at the spy who looked at you expectantly.

“I did it yesterday.”

“No, you walked through an open door and I broke your ankle. You didn’t try to fight at all,” Natasha pointed out and at the very mention of it your ankle started to throb. “You only fought me in the first few days but then nothing for weeks,” you frowned again and put your head back on the spy’s chest, getting too tired to understand what she was getting at. “So why?” Natasha pushed again.

“I just didn’t want to,” you said simply.

“But why?” The redhead could tell you were close to telling her what she needed to know to better understand your character but she could also see you were close to sleep and it would be hard to get you this loose tongue again unless she pumped you more full of drugs, something she didn’t fancy doing.

“I think…” you started, trying to piece together your thoughts. “I think I don’t want to go.” Your answer hung in the air.

“Have I broken you?” Natasha asked outright. She didn’t know the answer herself and wanted to know if you did. She was surprised to hear a faint, sleepy chuckle from you. “I was starting to think you might complete me,” you said then fell asleep, leaving the redhead more confused about you than she had been the entire time you had been there. Now that was new.

#natasha romanoff #natasha romanoff x reader #dark!fic #dark!marvel #dark!natasha x reader #natasha x reader #black widow #natasha romanoff smut

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ateez-himari · 7 months ago

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FORMER LEADER MEETS MAKNAE

At the request of former B.A.P leader, Bang Yongguk, a conversation sparks with one of the industry's most artistic idols.

May 21, 2024 (1:28PM)

Third generation rapper Bang Yongguk uploaded an unexpected video to his YouTube channel, around a month following his new album, in which he documented a meeting with ATEEZ's youngest member and songwriter, Himari. In contrast to what many believed when seeing the title it was in fact not their first time interacting with one another as they had filmed a dance challenge in the summer of last year. On that day however it was arranged by the senior artist due to his curiosity regarding the vocalist's impressive credits as well as her unique artistic expression, claiming that he viewed her as one of the industry's rare aces.

Despite B.A.P's unfortunate disbandment in 2019 following a lawsuit against their company, it was expressed multiple times throughout the years that she held a great respect for him and found great inspiration in the way that he pursued his own creativity. It was through one of those passionate ramblings that the rapper caught wind of the maknae's name, the young woman immediately catching his attention with her often emotional additions in b-sides.

'There was something about the way you wrote certain feelings, the strict work ethic that you showed in videos and the realness in your personality that made me curious. You're also producing quite a lot for someone this young so I wanted to meet you, to see who was the girl everyone started talking about, good or bad comments alike.'

In the beginning of their conversation he mentioned that listening to the single 'Pray', made in collaboration with Agust D, was especially painful due to the vulnerability being expressed through such raw lyrics that seemed poured directly from their hearts. However it was her solo track 'Shadow' in the group's most recent album that made the heaviest impression not only for the heartbreaking side of the story but also the interesting production techniques she had used, each being carefully crafted to fit a specific narration.

Throughout the two hour long video netizens were able to witness a connection slowly form between these two artists, with the eldest having prepared some activities such as a short painting session as well as cooking dinner to break the ice. Despite the maknae's initial nervousness towards being alone with one of her favorite rappers , conversation seemed to flow rather easily due to her senior's attentive listening and their time together ended with a warm hug along with a promise to meet again in the near future.

The conversation topics ranged from lighthearted ones such as small anecdotes from their respective lives or the senior's endless curiosity regarding his junior's creative mind to much darker themes such as mental health, but in the end both seemed so at ease with one another's presence that there was never a dull moment.

'You seem like you make friends very easily' Yongguk had remarked. 'Your personality is very warm, even though when you first arrive at my home you seemed very nervous...I think I saw your hands shaking a little bit.'

The last few minutes revealed that he had requested she leave the painting done during their short activity, proceeding to frame it in his living room, claiming that it added life into the house and would ensure he is always reminded of this encounter. The vocalist on the other hand excitedly showed off a polaroid already placed in her phone case to the camera, the image simply being the two posing cutely yet meaning much more to her as the rapper had been an idol of hers for a very long time.

Other artists from older generations have expressed a desire to meet the rapidly rising songwriter, with legendary rapper G-Dragon sharing songs produced by her through Instagram stories with encouraging phrases in which he often conveyed support.

'The songs she created for Taemin had something that seperated them from other albums coming out at the time, so I really want to work with her one day.' Taeyang (BIGBANG)

'We've talked briefly a few times and it always seemed like she had so many things to share, so I'd like to hear them. She's also one of the few people who truly excels in every aspect of the industry.' Moonbyul (MAMAMOO)

'Your sister [to Yoongi] takes after you for a lot of things it seems, both with the outspoken lyrics and never ending creativity. How old was she when she started working with Taemin...18? She's still young but already so influential. You should bring her with you next time so we can meet.' IU

'She's worked with us...twice I think, on 'Reason' and 'NO LIMIT'. I didn't see her a lot because of schedules but when I listened to the drafts she made I was really impressed by what she created alone. She's improved a lot since then so I'd like to meet up for an album again.' Joohoney (MONSTA X)

While the maknae is sparking quite the conversations amongst the industry's most notable names, ATEEZ as a whole have been rapidly climbing their way to the top lately, with media outlets granting them the title of 'Powerhouse of K-Pop'. Netizens are already bracing themselves for the upcoming comeback on May 31st, which promises to shake the charts once more as they challenge themselves to work even harder.

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#ateez imagines #ateez au #ateez 9th member #ateez extra member #ateez female member #kpop oc #himarinews♡

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whrthewindgoes · 2 months ago

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Here is the next chapter to Third Wheel. I’m sorry this took so long to get out but I’ve literally been in my head about posting it 😑 Also sorry if there is are any grammar mistakes or typos I am way too tired to recheck it! But I hope y’all enjoy 🥰

Third Wheel

Series Summary: After a terrible break up with your boyfriend of 5 years, you plan a long visit to Cincinnati to visit your cousin Ja’Marr. This was meant to be a time to catch up and make up for lost time, but no one could predict you’d fall in love with his long time friend and teammate.

Chapter Summary: You’ve made yourself comfortable in your new space for the foreseeable future, now it’s time to spend some much needed time with your cousin Ja’Marr.

Series Warnings: Angst, mentions of anxiety, mentions of cheating, fluff, smut, alcohol, weed (that’s all I can think of right now!)

Chapter Warnings: Angst and anxiety

How did I get here?

You spent the remainder of your first day in Ohio unpacking and making yourself comfortable in your new surroundings. You really didn’t want to do much the first couple of days there, the long travel and flight delays were enough to deplete your energy for the entire weekend. You did however make sure to check in with your parents once you got settled, as you knew they were worried about you. You sent them a text as soon as you landed, but you knew they’d want to hear your voice rather sooner than later. “So yeah, I made it safely despite getting here an entire 8 hours later than I planned.” You were on the phone chatting with your mom while you looked through the spacious walk in closet. It was Sunday night, and you and Ja’Marr made plans to hang out together the following Monday. You had taken the entire week off of work to allow yourself to get acquainted in Ohio, so you were looking forward to some much needed time off with your cousin. You reached into one of the many drawers located in the closet, pulling out a bright pink workout ensemble— a solid pink sports bra with matching seamless tights. “I can wear this with my black jacket.” You mumbled quietly to yourself, forgetting for a moment during the silence that your mother was still on the phone line. “Are you and Ja’Marr going out tonight? Are you picking out something to wear?” Your mom sounded almost a little too eager to hear whether you had plans or not. “We have plans to start tomorrow’s day with a run, and after that we’re going to hang out and see where the day takes us.” You said, folding the outfit neatly and placing it on top of the dresser as you shut the closet door. “A run huh? I remember we couldn’t pay you guys to leave the track when you were back in high school. Remind me again why you ever quit the track team?” You rolled your eyes, not wanting to indulge your mom in this conversation again for what felt like the millionth time. You ran track in high school and you were pretty damn good at it, but an ankle injury kept you from wanting to pursue it longer. You felt like you lost too much time after the injury, and that you were just never good enough. Your parents made sure to remind you of what could have been, even though you really only ever wanted to do it for fun in the first place. “Mom, how many times do I have to say that was the past. Besides, I never wanted track and field to be my entire life. That was a you and dad thing, remember?” You said firmly, reminding your mom of the boundaries you set on this topic previously. “If you say so, K. I just know you would’ve an olympic star had you kept at it.” Your mom was the only one who referred to you as K, and you knew she only used that nickname when she wanted downplay the conversation, or when she disagreed with what you were saying. This was enough to slightly annoy you, and so you hurried to make an excuse to get off the phone in order to avoid any more unnecessary comments from her. “Okay mom, I have to go. I really need to be well rested because you know Ja’Marr, he doesn’t play about his early morning work outs.” “Okay sweetie, I’ll talk to you soon. Let me know how everything goes tomorrow! Love you!” Your mom sounded completely oblivious to the fact that you were slightly annoyed. “Goodnight mom, I’ll tell you all about it of course. Love you too!” You said hanging up quickly. You sighed and sat the phone on the bed, allowing your body to follow suit shortly after. You put your face in your palms and shook your head left to right. “How the hell did I end up here?” You said quietly, running your fingers along your eyebrows simultaneously. You pulled your journal out of the nightstand next to the bed, writing down your thoughts from the last couple of days before turning off the lamp and passing out for the night.

After sleeping for what seemed like 5 minutes, you involuntarily opened your eyes—the bright sun illuminating the entire bedroom. You rub your eyes and allow them to come into focus, spotting Ja’Marr in the corner continuing to pull the curtains open. “Ja’Marr, what the fuck?! What fucking time is it?” You sit up in the bed, placing your right hand over your eyes while your elbow rests on your thigh. You could barely fathom what day it was, let alone why anyone would want to be up as early as it seemed to be. “It’s 6am, sunshine. Let’s go, when I said morning work out I meant morning. Get up! Ja’Marr scoffed, not one bit phased by the fact that he woke you up out of a deep ass sleep. “Yeah and when I agreed to visit, I didn’t think I was signing up for bootcamp! Who the fuck wakes up THIS early to work out?! It’s off season for you!” You glanced at your phone on the nightstand, rolling your eyes when you noticed the clock said 6:09am. “I don’t even think the birds are up this early bro.” You scoffed, dragging one leg around the edge of the bed, hesitant to do the same with the other leg as you wanted to stay cozy in the bed. “Yeah, well I need all the conditioning I can get. I can never be too ready for the start of the season. Hurry up will you?” You glared at him as he started to leave the room to allow you to get ready. “Remind me again why I came here?!” You said raising your voice just enough so he could hear you. You went into the bathroom and got yourself ready for the morning. You tied your hair in a high pony tail with a braid, knowing any other style would just sweat out from running. When you were all dressed, you sat on the edge of the bed lacing up your nikes, grabbing your earbuds and phone from the nightstand before heading out of the bedroom.

You quickly made your way around the house, pacing to the kitchen to grab something to drink. Upon entering, you noticed 2 frosty glasses on the kitchen counter. Ja’Marr entered from around the corner, “I made protein smoothies, can’t run on an empty stomach.” You shot an excited look at him in agreement, making your way over to the counter to take a sip. Your face changed quickly after you tasted the drink, turning your lips up and holding the glass in front of you while looking at it in suspense. “Oh my god, ugh! What the hell is in this?!” You asked Ja’Marr. “What you mean? It’s good, just drink it so we can be on our way!” You plugged your nose and chugged down the rest, making giving a disgusted look at both the texture and the taste. “Yeah okay, tastes like straight up ass if you ask me!” “Yeah you would know exactly what that tastes like huh?” Ja’Marr said laughing, heading toward the front door.

The two of you began by stretching, you paying extra attention to your stretches since it had been quite some time since you had a been on a run. You always kept up with working out, but running was just a different beast for you. You both started the run out steadily paced, Ja’Marr making sure not to have you bite off more than you could chew too quickly. You came up on a short hill, you silently cursing yourself for ever agreeing to this in the first place. “Shit.” You mumbled to yourself, trying your best to keep up with Ja’Marr as he made running up the short hill look extremely easy. You noticed your heart rate increasing, your apple watch alerting you as you reach the peak of the hill. You tried to ignore it, however you could literally hear your heartbeat pounding in your ears. You quickly removed your earbuds, stopping in your tracks as Ja’Marr paced on. You bent over forward placing your hands on your knees, breathing heavily, your heart rate showing no signs of slowing. You closed your eyes and took an intentional breath, noticing a hand on your back once you let the breath out. “What’s going on? You need a break?” Ja’Marr asked, sounding sincerely concerned. “I don’t know…I just. I think it’s too much.” Ja’Marr gave you a look as if a lightbulb went off in his head, realizing this was probably the first time you had been on a run since your high school track days. He knew how much pressure your parents put on you to succeed, essentially sucking the fun out of the task at hand. “Hey, this is just for fun. No pressure, no strings. Just go at your own pace, don’t worry about all the other bullshit.” You took a couple more deep breaths, remembering how much you used to love running before your injury. You took a few more moments to catch your breath and calm down. You gave a slight smile and nodded in agreement, slowing leaning back into the run to not overwhelm yourself. After about an hour of what seemed like torture with the sun beaming on your bodies, both of you decide to head back toward the house.

There was noticeable silence as you both tried to catch your breath and cool down. “What happened back there?” Ja’Marr spoke quietly, breaking the silence between you two. You sighed before replying, “I think I just got in my head too much. My mom brought up the whole track thing last night, and all of a sudden I remembered what she said as I was running and it just triggered me I guess.” Ja’Marr shot you a sympathetic look, “I never understood why Rob and Elaine put so much pressure on you. You don’t have to do everything damn near perfect.” he said. “Ha! Tell them that. Sometimes I almost wish I had a sibling to take some of the pressure off me.” You replied to him, stopping in your tracks as you heard your phone chime with your watch simultaneously. You pulled out your phone and instantly smiled when you saw the name on the screen, one of your longtime friends Jessica had sent you a text. “How is Ohio treating you so far? Call me tonight and tell me all about it!” You thought about sending a long winded text to unpack everything that has gone down so far, including the unnecessary comments from your mother. However, you were exhausted from the run and desperately needed food and to rest, so you decided to keep it short and sweet. “Everything is great so far, different than being home for sure. Text me when you’re home from work later and we can facetime!” You replied to Jessica, including a simple heart emoji to follow up. You and Jessica had become close during your sophomore year in high school, and while you both went to different colleges, you managed to maintain your close relationship. Jessica was one of those friends you could go days without talking to, and then pick up where you left off like nothing happened. She was one of the only close friends that you felt you really had left after breaking up with your ex. Unfortunately a lot of the friends you acquired during college were friends that Sean (your ex) introduced you to. It was simply too awkward to keep things going with these friends after the break up, and quite frankly the basic nature of the friendships just simply weren’t worth the trouble. It was fun while it lasted, but you craved more genuine friendships with people whom you felt like you could be yourself around. Being around Sean’s friends always felt like added pressure, and you never really realized it until everything was over.

You and Ja’Marr finally made it back to the house, and you could not wait to shower and eat something, considering the only thing you consumed this morning was the disgusting smoothie he made. You were headed back to your room when he stopped you and asked, “Let’s go to brunch or something, like old times? I’m starving and I know you are too, since you were hating on my smoothie earlier.” Your eyes lit up, “You read my mind, I am literally dying for food. Let me take a quick shower and I’ll be ready in 20!” He nodded and walked the opposite way. You walked back to your room swiftly, desperate to get out of your sweaty clothes and get ready to head out. After quickly showering and picking out a cute pair of high waisted jeans with a baby blue crop top, you headed into the closet to pick out a pair of shoes. You hadn’t gotten the rest of your things shipped from your parents just yet, so you only had a few options. You brought just enough shoes that you could match up with just about anything, so you settled for your white high top converse. Your fitted jeans accentuated the curves on your body, your skin just slightly peeking through your crop top. You did a once over to check your outfit in the mirror, before undoing the braided ponytail in your hair and fluffing out your soft curls. You gave your roots a quick tease to add volume, put on some shiny pink lip gloss and grabbed your purse and phone to head out to the living area to see if Ja’Marr was ready. Upon walking near the living room, you see him leaning against the wall as if he had been waiting there for quite some time. “You know, after so many years I forgot that 20 minutes to you is actually an hour!” He teased. “Oh come on, it was no where near an hour! More like 45 minutes!” You laughed, admitting that you took way longer than you expected. “Same difference, let’s go before you take even more time and we end up having to skip to dinner.”

You both headed out and took a quick car ride downtown. It dawned on you that you hadn’t even bothered to ask him where you were going, as you were starving and could honestly eat anything at that point. You ended up at a local spot that was very small and quaint. Obviously Ja’Marr was well known so you knew he wouldn’t want to go anywhere too public, so this place was perfect as it was a weekday morning and wasn’t crowded at all. You both ordered brunch and sat talking for over an hour, both enjoying each others’ conversation and catching up. “You know, it’s so weird because I feel like everything is coming full circle.” You said, putting the cup of coffee you were nearly finished with down on the table in front of you. “You always had this dream of being an athlete, and I had no doubt you could do it. It’s just so crazy that it’s actually happened! To me you’re still just the same ol’ Ja’Marr that I grew up with. Goofy, annoying as hell, and funny!” You said giggling. “Chill with the insults okay, you’ve only been here a couple days and already with the name calling.” He laughed along with you. “But yeah, it’s definitely a night and day difference from how my life used to be. I’m just glad I can take care of the people I care about now.” You replied with a smile, glancing up when you noticed the waitress coming by the table to give you guys the bill. You barely had time to reach into your bag before he interrupted— “Absolutely not! I got it Kenz.” He said removing his wallet from his pocket, placing his card on top of the bill. “I wouldn’t let you pay for stuff when I was broke, so why would I let you pay now?” He said, giving you a puzzled look. “I mean I don’t know, I’m only an adult and I can pay for myself?” You said back sarcastically. “But thank you for brunch, if I haven’t said it already I really appreciate everything you’ve already done for me in such a short amount of time.” He smile and nodded, “It’s really nothing, you know I’d do anything for you!”. Once the bill was paid, you both headed back to the car, chatting it up on the way there. “So, I know it’s still early in the week, but I was thinking maybe we can have a bbq with some of my teammates at the house this weekend? A lot of them are coupled up, it’ll give you a chance to meet some of their girls.” You didn’t think twice about it, “That was seriously be so fun. I’m dying to meet the people you’ve been spending all your time with! Plus, I feel like it’s been ages since I’ve done anything in a social setting that didn’t involve my parents.” You joked. “Good, I’ll set it up for this weekend then. I’ll get the guys on board and let you know once I have all the details.” You were low key excited, you were a planner deep down and you loved nothing more than getting together with all of your friends. Although this was going to be with Ja’Marr’s friends, you were eager to meet some other girls that you could possibly spend time with. After all, you didn’t know how long you would be here in Ohio, and you didn’t want to spend all your time being cooped up under Ja’Marr.

It seemed like the rest of the afternoon flew by. You took a long nap once you got home from brunch and woke up to an empty house. Ja’Marr sent you a text letting you know he was going to hang out with his teammate Tee, but he would be back later that night around dinner time. You spent the time alone on your phone, scrolling through social media mindlessly. You looked up at the time and realized it was nearing 5pm, and you were starting to get hungry again. Suddenly, you had a great idea to make dinner for you and Ja’Marr since he was currently out with Tee. You hopped up and strolled to the kitchen, going to see what you could possibly throw together in a short amount of time. After looking through Ja’Marr’s extensive pantry, along with his fridge, you found a few items but nothing that went together. “This kid literally has nothing but protein supplements and junk food. How does he survive off this?” You stared looking into the fridge, trying to come up with options. “Oh! I got it!” You said to yourself, grabbing your phone to place a quick delivery order for groceries. Ja’Marr had a few things you could work with, like rice and a few vegetables. You remembered he loved Asian food, so you decided to whip together a chicken stir fry. You were however missing the main ingredient, chicken, so you had to place a delivery order for that, along with a couple items you needed to make a stir fry sauce. Once the order arrived, you began whipping the meal together, as cooking was one of your favorite things to do. It only took about 30 minutes to cook, and it was perfect timing because you heard the back door opening as soon as you grabbed bowls from the cabinets. “You order takeout?” Ja’Marr said stepping into the kitchen, removing his hat and oversized hoodie. “Um, no. You’re never going to believe this but I….COOKED! You know that thing where you heat up the stove, and chop up ingredients to make a meal? Yeah that!!!” You couldn’t help but laugh at your own sarcasm. You knew he wasn’t a chef by any means, but you thought with him being a big time NFL player that he would at least keep the fridge well stocked. “How do you even survive?!” You asked him as you were placing the stir fry into the bowls. “I order out, it works.” He shrugged. He always had a fast metabolism which you envied. You side eyed him and sat at one of the barstools at the counter, both of you finishing your dinner while chatting about the upcoming bbq. “I’m excited to actually hang out with people my age ya know? I feel like I’ve been stuck with my parents since the whole break up ordeal.” You said getting up from the barstool, taking both your empty plate and Ja’Marr’s to the kitchen sink. “Yeah you never know maybe it’ll give you the chance to make some new long time friends. Especially since you don’t really have a timeline on how long you wanna stay and all.” You nodded in agreement, quickly tidying up the kitchen and excusing yourself to go call your friend Jessica as you both promised to talk this evening. You thanked Ja’Marr again for brunch earlier that day, and for spending time at dinner with you. It was such a small gesture, but it meant so much to be able to have a conversation with someone that was about something other than your ex. You felt like it was all your parents ever brought up, and although you and Jessica were close, she still didn’t know the full picture of what happened between you and Sean.

You entered your room and took a seat on the bench, putting your legs up to your chest to cozy up before dialing Jess on FaceTime. She quickly answered after just one ring, “MACKENZIE! I feel like it’s been way too long. Tell me everything, how is Ohio so far?! Have you met any cute boys yet?! Are you totally living the lavish lifestyle now?! Don’t forget about us little people!” She fired off, barely giving you 2 seconds to interject her. “Whoa whoa whoa, let’s not get ahead of ourselves now. I’ve only been here a few days, no I have not met any cute boys. And before you say anything, no Ja’Marr does NOT count” Jess had met Ja’Marr a few times a long time ago, and she kept her innocent crush on him no secret at all. “Okay, no one was even thinking that but I mean since you brought it up…” She giggled in response, covering her hand with her mouth trying to hold back her laugh. “Okay but no seriously,” Jess continued “How are you? Have you talked to your parents at all?” she asked with a slightly concerned look. “I talked with them yesterday, well mainly my mom. And you know how she is, always bringing up the past and insisting on focusing on my wrongdoings. But besides that, things are going really well. I’ve just been trying to get comfortable here, it’s so weird because everything is so different with Ja’Marr from the last time I saw him. I mean I’ve seen him since he’s been in the NFL, but things have definitely blown up since then. His house is incredible! I can’t believe it took me this long to come visit.” You said as you let your legs hang off of the bench, coming out of the UGG slippers you were wearing. “Well in your defense, you both had a whole lot going on. I always tell you everything happens for a reason and I think it’s the perfect time for you to be somewhere new, especially at this point in your life.” She gave a comforting smile, appearing to walk into her kitchen and pour a glass of wine. “It look me a long time to get to the point of accepting that I needed a change of scenery, but I’m glad I did. Ja’Marr is even throwing a bbq this weekend so I can meet some of his teammates’ girlfriends.” You stood up from the bench, pacing back and forth as you and Jess continued your chat. “Teammates’ girlfriends huh? What about the teammates?” Jess said with a smirk. “Oh do not start with me Jess, absolutely not!” You laughed, ever since your break up, Jess was trying to throw you at the nearest attractive man she could find for you. “I mean you never know Kenz, I’m just sayin’….you know they say the quickest way to get over one guy is to get undernea—“ You quickly interrupted her before she could finish her sentence “Okayyyy! And on that note I think it’s time for me to get ready for bed. I love you girl! You should seriously come visit me once I get settled.” “Oh I definitely will, I love you too Kenz! Please, call me tomorrow if you’re not too busy?” She said giving you a pouty look. “Of course Jess, goodnight!” You both blew a kiss to each other and hung up the FaceTime call. It was so refreshing to laugh with Jess, she has always lightened the mood even when you felt at your worst. After the call you quickly made yourself comfy in your bed, passing out for the night without a care in your mind.

Hope y’all enjoyed this chapter! Who’s ready for Mackenzie to meet Ja’Marr’s teammates?! 😉 The next chapter hopefully won’t be as long so we can get to the good stuff already!

Taglist: @toterry

#joe burrow #joe burrow fic #fanfic #my fic #jamarr chase

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whatdoeseverybodywant · 10 months ago

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You're the Only Girl for Me - Chapter 15

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Series Masterlist

Taglist: @christinabae @southerngirl41 @reci1996 @jeyusos-girl @jeyusosgirl @melaninsugababy @bemybabiibish @jstarr86 @baconeggndcheez @nbanenefrmdao @purplehairgawdess @arination99 @m3llowww @alyyaanna @harmshake @jeysbae @empressdede @theninthwonder @badbitchcentralinc @bluesole16 @leaderofthebadbitchbrigade @bonni-98 @raya-hunter01 @bebesobrielo @venusesworld @babysyhsyh

if your name is bold, tumblr won’t let me tag you

WARNING: MENTIONS OF DOMESTIC ABUSE ;

February 14th 2021

Airelle woke up when a loud muffled moan came from the other side of her wall, where Yasmine’s room was located. “Oh fuck Joe, right there!” Airielle’s eyes widened before she grabbed the pillow that was next to her head and placed it over her face letting out a muffled scream. She sat up in her bed and glared at the wall once she heard the headboard start to knock against the wall.

“Lucky bitch.” She muttered as she picked her phone up to check the time 6:34 am. She sighed and got out of the bed. “Guess I can go workout.” She said to herself as she quickly got dressed, trying to ignore the sounds of Yasmine and Joe getting down.

Grabbing her keys, Airielle ran out of the apartment as fast as she could. When she got to the gym, she failed to pay attention to a familiar car in the parking lot. A black Ford F-150. After checking in with the front desk she made her way over to the equipment stopping in her tracks at the sight of familiar tattooed arms lifting weights.

Airielle’s heart sped up as their eyes locked. She sent him a small smile and a wave which he returned, before he went back to his workout. She cursed herself as she walked over to the treadmill, if she wasn’t so preoccupied with getting out of the apartment, she would have realized that Josh should've been at the gym. This was his gym, he was the one who told her about it.

Airielle knew that Josh normally worked out around this time, he dealt with insomnia and had FacTimed her multiple times while he worked out claiming that seeing her face gave him motivation even though she was sleeping while they were on the phone.

Airielle tried her hardest to not look at him, but she could feel his eyes on her as she started her workout. She had thought hard about their relationship and she did miss Josh badly and she wanted to be with him but Tracy was going to have to stay far away from her. Because there was no real reason for Tracy to even lie the way she did, she was apparently in a relationship so why was she trying to ruin Josh and Airielle’s?

“You still ignoring me?” Airielle choked on her water and turned her head to look at Josh with wide eyes. She hadn’t even heard him walk over to her. Josh chuckled at the look on her face and reached over to slow down the treadmill before she went and fell on her face.

“Huh?” She said after her coughing fit, stepping off the treadmill and standing in front of him.

“I said, are you still ignoring me?” Airielle sighed and shuffled on her feet. She was uncomfortable but she also knew that she needed to talk to him even if it was in the middle of the deserted gym.

“I wasn't ignoring you Josh, I just needed time to think.” Josh nodded and bit the inside of his cheek.

“About us?” He asked after a moment of silence to which Airielle nodded.

“Yes, about us, about your baby momma, about everything.” Josh nodded again but didn’t say anything. He didn’t know what to say all he knew was that he wanted to be with Airielle and he needed her to know that. He needed her to know that she made him happy and that she was all he could think about. Well tell her that dummy. His inner voice scolded him.

“Before you tell me your decision, have dinner with me later on.” She opened her mouth to protest but Josh cut her off. “Please, just come over to my place and have dinner with me and we can talk about us. Just don’t break up with me without us having a conversation.” Airielle sighed before she nodded, agreeing to be at his apartment no later than 7 pm. Josh smiled and went to give her a kiss on the cheek before stopping himself. He said goodbye before leaving the gym, the smile still on his face.

“So you’re going to Josh’s apartment?” Yasmine asked for the 1000th time causing Airielle to sigh and roll her eyes as she finished up the final touches of her make-up.

“Yes Yas. I’m going over to Josh’s” she paused then added “For dinner only.”

“On Valentine's Day?” Airielle locked eyes with Yasmine in the mirror and arched an eyebrow.

“Whatchu’ tryna say Yasmine?” Airielle turned around and leaned against her vanity, cocking her head to the side as she waited for Yasmine’s answer. Yasmine held her hands up defensively and let out a little chuckle.

“Hey. I mean. The old Airielle would’ve blocked him and been moved on by now, but you must really like him.” Yasmine teased.

Airielle rolled her eyes again and pushed past Yasmine. “Shut up,” Airielle mumbled and Yasmine’s eyes widened before she let out a squeal and started jumping up and down

“You love him!” Airielle stumbled in her heels and she whirled around and faced Yasmine.

“No I don’t, I didn’t say that. I don’t love him, why would you say that?” Airielle rambled on and the smile started to slowly fade from Yasmine’s face as Airirlle’s breathing increased, almost to a full blown panic attack.

“Airie chill. Relax. I was only joking.” Yasmine tried to pull Airielle into a hug but Airielle pushed her away.

“Well, don’t joke like that Yas.” Airielle mumbled, trying her hardest to blink back tears because what Yasmine said was 100% true. She was in love with Josh and she was scared. She had only been in love one time and it ended with her in the hospital with two broken ribs, a broken ankle and a broken nose that needed to be surgically fixed.

“Oh honey,” Yasmine sighed and pulled Airielle into a hug, despite her fighting. Yasmine rubbed her back as she broke down in her arms. “It’s okay babe. Josh ain’t nothing like Christopher and you know that which is why you gravitate towards him, he treats you way better than Christopher ever did, even before y’all got engaged.” Yasmine lifted Airielle’s face off of her shoulder and wiped her tears away. “Now go fix your make-up and go get your man.”

AIRIELLEJONES

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AirielleJones: Happy Valentines Day ❤️

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user: please say you back with @uceyjucey

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Airielle tried to stop shaking as she reached Josh’s front door but her nerves were all over the place. She took a deep breath before knocking on the door, not surprised at how quickly Josh opened it.

“Hey.” Airielle whispered, eyeing his outfit. “You look nice.” She said, smiling when he moved to the side to let her in.

“You do too.” He said back but Airielle wasn’t listening, her eyes moving around the kitchen/dining room area in awe.

“Josh” She whispered, tears threatening to fall from her eyes as she looked at all the balloons and rose petals he had spread out in his apartment.

“Happy Valentine’s Day Airielle.” He whispered as he came up behind her and wrapped his arms around her.

His attention to detail was immaculate as he had her favorite… everything. Her favorite wine, her favorite takeout food (she noted as he did a poor job of hiding the containers in the trash) and her favorite chocolate candy.

“You didn’t have to do all this.” She whispered, turning around so she could look at him.

“I know, I wanted to,” He sighed and grabbed her hand, rubbing his thumb over the back of it.. “I just wanted to show you how much you mean to me. Even if you have been ignoring me..” He said with a small smile. “You make me happy as hell Airielle and I just wanted to apologize for putting you in that situation with Tracy. I should’ve told her ass to go home when she came Friday morning, I just didn’t want her to take the boys with her.”

“I understand that” Airielle nodded, “I just don’t want to deal with that Josh -

“And I don’t want you to have to deal with that. What T did was wrong as hell and she knows that. You don’t deserve to have my ex come and tell you a bunch of lies and I completely understand if that's you deal breaker Rih.”

Airielle sighed. Was that a deal breaker for her? And Yas was right if Josh was anybody else she would have cut ties with him and been moved on.. So why couldn’t she?

is this considered a cliff hanger??

Lmao.. she she realized she's in love with him, y'all think she gon tell him or walk away from him?

#wwe #jey uso #jey uso x black reader #jey uso imagine #main event jey uso #jey uso x reader #wwe x black reader #jey uso smut #jey uso fluff #jey uso fanfic #jey uso fanfiction #jey uso x oc #wwe smut #wwe x fem reader #wwe x oc #jey uso x fem reader #black reader #black writblr #your the only girl for me

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aoharushiyo · 6 months ago

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the recipes for... | track 5 ― fondant au chocolat

Translation: en Proofreading: aca, dimi, kimi, myun, jay, jelly

"PatiBattle? Are patissiers going to battle...?"

And so, that evening…

After I got home and had some snacks, I happened to glance at the TV that the Robo-Mama had needlessly put on for me.

"PatiBattle? Are patissiers going to battle…?"

I had time to kill, so it was really just by accident that I happened to see the anime that was airing on the TV.

"…Huh?"

I couldn't take my eyes off the screen.

"Wow, this looks cool…"

I'd discovered something.

"This is crazy…!"

I had… discovered something amazing. PatiBattle. Chiyoda Reito. It was like I'd been crossed by fate and destiny.

"…"

I watched in rapt silence. Something felt like it was clicking into place inside of me. PatiBattle was everything that I desired from the bottom of my heart: a story packed full of excitement, youth, and friendship. My heart couldn't stop pounding in pure excitement.

Before my eyes, colour returned to the ashen grey remains of my world after the fire had incinerated everything. "Aah…"

Seeing the protagonist and his rival compete against each other, and then exchanging praises and hugging each other after a good match brought me almost to the point of tears. Suddenly, I remembered what Muu-chan had told me earlier.

"I'd like to give you a hug."

It was then that I realised… I'd thought that I'd hated everything in the world― but there was still one thing I loved dearly: Muu-chan. I'd regained one thing that I loved.

"…"

In the blink of an eye, the credits were already rolling. The original author's name was shown in the credits, so I supposed it must have originally been a manga. Following my curiosity, I found myself ordering the volumes online before I could think better. While I was madly typing away on my phone, Robo-Mama aimlessly peered at my screen.

"…Hey." "…" "Recently, you've been turning on the lights while you do chores, and you turn on the TV now, too." "…, …" "Are you… looking out for me?"

"This is just between you and me, but… I don't really hate you that much." "…" "Do you want me to try and get you a part that lets you talk? If there even are mouthpieces that can be installed onto older models…" "…"

At that point in time, it was natural that Robo-Mama couldn't talk. All she could do was blink her sensor eye. Besides, her barrel-like cylindrical model meant that she didn't even have a neck, but…

"…"

…But it really did seem like she was nodding in reply.

"Okay, got it." I thought, maybe I could ask someone at the robotics factory nearby.

"Maybe I could try making sweets, too."

Not only did I regain something I loved that day, I had also found new things to love. I started to think things like I could try this, or I could try that.

"Since this Reito guy seems cool and he's good with chocolate… let's try making chocolate desserts."

I was able to meet Reito, the character who I love above all others. I was able to find the ultimate hobby in baking sweets. And all of it is thanks to PatiBattle.

"…Every time I look at him, my chest feels fluttery… What could that mean…?"

…That was the sort of childhood I had.

---

I was back in my room, decked to the nines with all of the nuis and merch that I could never put in my dorm room. As I closed my copy of Shounen Dive, I let myself sink into a million fantasies.

"It's still so good no matter how many times I read it… Even though I got spoiled by those annoying idiots, it didn't take away all the fun…! Besides, Reito and Minoru partnering up really is a genius move for the story! Even though Ouji will definitely get jealous…"

The freshly made fondant au chocolat resting on the table beside me was giving off a wonderful aroma. I had taste-tested some crumbs earlier, so naturally, I was quite pleased with the fact that I had made such exquisite sweets. Tomorrow, I'll give some to Muu-chan and his sister.[1] I couldn't wait to see their happy faces.

Just like that, my bad day from overhearing those spoilers had turned into a wonderful day, thanks to my daily sweets-making.

"I've got high hopes for all the fanfiction writers… May there be tons of fic about Reito gently consoling a depressed, jealous Ouji…"

Honestly, I prefer spicy food, and I don't like sweet foods that much at all. But I still want to keep baking sweets.

"Aah… I can't wait for Sanseiu-sensei's newest work…! I hate the crowds at conventions, but if I could meet them and shake their hand… or not. At the very least, I've got to give them sweets as a gift…"

Even despite everything, I want to be able to touch, too. I want to be able to hug someone else, and be hugged by them back… …But I can't do that.

"Now then, time to see what new posts there are today… Ugh, there's already ReiMino here? And… blocked."

Instead, I'll make the most delicious, satisfyingly sweet desserts so that one day, I can give them to the people I care about.

"What? They're rerunning that pair tapestry from last time!? And you can't even pre-order? It's like they want to see a fucking bloodbath out here!"

If they like my desserts, then it'll be like touching their hearts instead. Isn't that already the same as a hug?

"Crane game limited nuis… Alright, guess I'll have to just rescue each and every Reito from the grasp of those claws."

That's why I'll keep making the sweetest, most delicious chocolates.

A few hours later, I wrapped up the fondant au chocolat and stuck a sticky note on it with instructions: Just heat it up in the microwave when you want to eat it.

Now that my work was done, I decided to return for PatiBattle seconds, but just as I settled in, something flashed before my eyes.

"Huh? What?"

Right before my eyes…

[ PatiBattle! Hiatus Announcement ]

…A sentence straight from the depths of Hell.

"Huh…? Huh? Hah??"

The sound of every single cell in my body simultaneously being annihilated echoed in my ears.

---

[1] Ushio specifies Muneuji and 姫 hime, which means 'princess'. Muneuji calls his little sister by this nickname, so it's very likely that Ushio is referring to her!

---

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#en tl #series: 18trip #aughhhhhh i genuinely cried seeing him fall in love with patibato #understanding everything that led up to his present really does wonders to figure out why he acts like he does #anyway if you read this far thanks for reading! i'm glad i got to inflict pain on you too :)#thanks to all my proofers as well and the rest of tlward! special shoutout to jay for making everything sound nice #woooo!!!!!

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simpinghour · 2 years ago

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Cake and Pears at 2am Hange x fem! reader

Summary: What is meant to be a casual night out to hang with Mikasa and friends leads you to meeting the very dapper, very suave even though they sometimes remind you of a golden retriever, Hange.

This was meant to be a mafia AU and there are light mentions of it but that's not the focus. Here you'll read about a fem!reader who is 14 years younger than a nonbinary Hange but doesnt let that stop her from dating them.

Rating: Explicit

Warnings: Nonbinary Hange, gothkasa, Strap on sex, loss of virginity with strap on, this is smutty as hell and I have no regrets, side Eruri, Side Eremika, Squirting, Oral Sex, Fingering, also side Mikenana, Yelena needs her ass kicked, age gap, but not a creepy age gap I promise, I had to do so much research about strap ons for this damn fic

Ao3 link

Chapter 1

First you didn’t feel like going out. Then Mikasa wheedled until you gave in, and you asked what you should wear.

“Anything is fine. Wear your regular clothes.”

And that was how you ended up wearing an ankle length black linen dress, feeling completely out of place when turning up at Mikasa’s cousin’s bar.

The plan was to have a quick drink to start off the evening. How you ended up drinking by yourself was a mystery, but you suspected it was likely due to Mikasa getting in a quickie with her boyfriend and losing track of time.

I hope the dick is good because I’m going to kill you and Eren when you get here, you quickly texted Mikasa while trying to ignore the drunken man to your right doing the most to get your attention.

“Either drink this and stop harassing our guests or get the fuck out. Your choice,” you hear someone say.

You look up to find a guy with short dark hair and an undercut who eerily resembles Mikasa pushing a glass of water across the bar top while glaring at the man bothering you. A quick glance at the man shows that he looks as though he’d been scared sober, because he takes the water and scuttles in the other direction without another word.

“Tch. Asshole,” the guy says in disgust before he flicks a dishcloth at a spot of moisture on the bar. “You okay?” he asks.

“I’m good, thanks. I would be great if my friend Mikasa didn’t have me here waiting like an idiot.”

He scoffs again. “So you’re friends with my cousin. No doubt she’s glued to that idiot boyfriend of hers.”

“I’m guessing you don’t care much for Eren,” you reply, biting back a laugh.

“Hmm,” he grunts. “She could do better, but I guess she could also do worse.”

He doesn’t offer further commentary and moves to the other end of the bar. You go back to fiddling with your phone and sipping on your drink.

Ten minutes later you get hit on again, this time by a tall blonde who is admittedly attractive but too damn pushy for your tastes.

“Don’t be like that,” she says, reaching down to wrap long, rough fingers around your wrist.

The last thing you want to do is cause a scene; not only is this a club for members only, but everyone here is at least fifteen years older than you. On top of that, Mikasa vaguely mentioned something about her cousin’s bar being a mafia hang out, but she didn’t answer or give more details when you outright asked if her cousin was in the mafia.

As you think back to the way the guy harassing you earlier looked like he was going to wet himself when the dark-haired guy glared at him, you think the answer is yes.

“Yelena, leave the young lady alone before I have Levi ban your ass,” a raspy voice interrupts in a way that seems light yet has a casually threatening undertone.

The woman named Yelena takes her hand off you and you peer around her to find the owner of the voice.

You were aware that you were likely gawking, but you hadn’t expected to see a lithe brunet dressed in a three-piece suit that clung to them like a second skin. Their hair was sort of long but had been pulled up in a partial ponytail, and a few strands framing square-rimmed glasses and a pair of warm brown eyes were the second things you saw. The unamused expression on their face was the next.

“You and I both know why you’re acting like this,” they continue, staring unblinkingly at Yelena.

You know this person came to your defense, but you can’t help feeling intimidated. Then Yelena sighs dramatically and backs up a few steps.

“No harm done, Hange. It was just a bit of fun.”

“Bit of fun, my ass. You’re only here because we like Onyankopon. Now move along.”

Yelena stares hard while slinking away and the person called Hange leans against the bar to peer down at you.

“Sorry about that,” they apologize while sticking out a hand. “Hange Zoe. I don’t think I’ve seen you here before.”

“This is my first time,” you explain after giving your name and shaking their hand. “I’m supposed to be meeting some friends here but they’re extremely late.”

“Oh? Anyone I know?”

“Mikasa and her dumb boyfriend Eren. And I think our friend Armin if he’s not glued to his computer.”

“Ohh, you’re Mikasa’s friend. Levi told us some of you would be stopping by tonight.” Hange turned to look across the room and pointed to a table. “Wanna join us while you wait?”

You peer over to see a man with shaggy blond hair sitting there, engaged in conversation with another man who had neatly styled brighter blond hair as well as a stunning blonde woman with a short haircut that fits her face perfectly. Levi, who you learn is in fact Mikasa’s cousin when pointed out by Hange, is in the middle of sliding into the booth with the two men and a lady. They all seem equal parts classy but intimidating, and it immediately sets you on edge. They’re nothing like anyone you’ve been around before and you’re in fear of making some serious social faux pas.

“I don’t want to intrude,” you protest.

“You aren’t. Besides, it’ll piss off the blonde who just got grabby with you.”

“Okay, only if you don’t mind,” you agree, picking up your glass. “Who was that, an ex of yours?”

A wry look cross Hange’s face as they lead you across the bar.

“You could say that. Say, what is that you’re drinking? It looks tasty.”

“It’s called a Red Devil. Not everyone knows how to make it but this guy with brown hair knew what I was talking about. He made it perfectly too; some people use too much gin and it tastes disgusting like that.”

“If he had on a blue shirt that’s Moblit and yup, he makes the best drinks.”

When you and Hange reach the table they introduce you to everyone. Nanaba is friendly and Miche is polite but doesn’t seem like a big talker, although Erwin and Levi have plenty to say. Hange orders you another drink without you asking and you sit on the outside of the booth, sipping on your second Red Devil while wondering how the hell you ended up at the table of Mikasa’s cousin and his friends.

You guesstimate that the jacket alone to their suits is equal to the price of a month’s rent. And you don’t know much about watches, but you definitely know what a Rolex is and every person at the table except you is wearing one. Correction, Miche and Nanaba have on his and her Patek Philipe watches.

Eventually someone else equally well-dressed joins the table, the tall man with brown hair named Moblit who happens to be the person that made your drink.

“Are you and Hange going to drink one another under the table tonight?” Levi asks, and Hange grins broadly.

“No,” they laugh. “But now that I think about it, I could use a snack. Are there any olives in the back?”

“Yes, for the cocktails,” Levi hisses, looking scandalized as though Hange suggested snacking on earthworms.

“Actually, I bought a large bag of mixed olives because I know you like them,” Erwin interjects, ignoring the way Levi glares at him.

“I thought I was the only one who ate olives on their own,” you murmur, and Hange’s face lights up.

“I guess you’ll share with me, right? Hold on, I’ll be right back.”

“Hange, don’t you break my damn bar!” Levi yells over the booth as Hange hurries in the direction of a closed door. “And bring something to put them in!”

You’re wondering why Hange needs to be told to bring something for the olives, and bite back a laugh at the image of them eating olives right off the tabletop. Soon they return, arms laden with a small stack of bowls and the olives.

Erwin hadn’t been lying; the bag of mixed olives he bought was enormous. It easily rivaled the size of a food container one would find at a food co-op. Hange tries to cut it open with a pocketknife but with speed-lightning deftness, Levi reaches over and snatches it out their grasp.

“I’ve got it, before the whole fucking thing ends up all over the floor,” he grumbles, pulling out his own pocketknife from somewhere and neatly slitting open the bag.

“You are so weird,” Miche says, watching Hange pour a generous portion of olives into two paper bowls. They stab a toothpick into a green olive atop both mounds and push a bowl in your direction.

“See, Miche? I told you I wasn’t the only one who ate olives like this,” Hange tells him, brandishing a toothpick with a black olive on the end before popping it in their mouth.

The entire situation is laughable. The idea that the stunning human in a bespoke suit has the personality of a golden retriever yet can clearly switch to that of a guard dog with a killer bite is unfathomable. Either way, you’re having a good time and don’t think the night can get any stranger. But you’re soon proven wrong.

Miche excuses himself and as he crosses you to get out the booth, he pauses and loudly sniffs your hair. Hange explains that it’s a thing he does and he means no harm, but then he says your hair smells good. Nanaba says she noticed the same thing too, and then everyone else says they also agreed.

Everyone starts throwing out names of expensive parfums that would probably take you a month or more to save for if you wanted a bottle. You tell everyone that it’s not perfume you’re wearing, they’re smelling the hair oil you used on your ends. That prompts a conversation about your tight curls and you’re explaining that your hair tends to get dry and needs extra moisture when Mikasa finally shows up. Eren is behind her, trying to pretend that he isn’t hiding from Levi and failing miserably. Armin is also there and he’s smiling nervously. Mikasa looks confused when she sees you sitting with her cousin and his friends, but her expression barely gives away anything.

“Hey brat, why’d you make your friend wait all this time?” Levi asks her.

“Eren and I lost track of time,” Mikasa offers dismissively, sniffing as she looks away.

“Tch. I bet,” Levi scoffs, narrowing his eyes and the increasingly nervous Eren. Armin also looks anxious, but mostly because he likely feels like a third wheel knowing what his two best friends were doing that caused them to be late.

“I don’t want to keep you from your friends,” Hange tells you with a smile. “Thanks for keeping me company.”

You really don’t want to leave but know it would be rude to not join Mikasa and the others. So you thank Hange and everyone else and reluctantly leave their table.

You’re oddly quiet while sitting with your friends, yet they’re too busy quarrelling over something to notice. When you cast a surreptitious glance over at Hange, they’re laughing loudly at something while slapping Miche’s shoulder. You feel a stab of envy, wishing you were the one to make them laugh when they suddenly turn in your direction and wink at you. Before you can react, they’ve turned back to their friends and you’re left wondering if you imagined everything.

Eren and Armin go to fetch drinks and when they return, Armin hands you another Red Devil and a glass of water. You notice that everyone also has water along with their drink and Eren asks Mikasa why her cousin made him also take water. The answer comes in the form of Mikasa shooting Levi a nasty glare across the bar and he returns her look with an eerily similar one.

“He hates sloppy drunks,” Mikasa explains. “This is his way of telling us to have fun but not too much fun. I watched him make someone mop up their own puke before throwing them out on more than one occasion.”

“Your cousin is scary,” Armin says, warily eyeing his cocktail as though unsure if he should drink it.

You finish your Red Devil a little too fast and become the teeniest bit tipsy—okay, you’re drunk—and decide to wobble outside, in desperate need of fresh air. Just as you take a deep breath and close your eyes, you hear the door open and someone else walks outside.

“Needed a breather?” Hange asks with an unlit cigar held between their teeth. They reach into their pocket to pull out a box of wooden matches and some other metal tubular object on a ring. “It’s a hole punch for cigars,” they explain when they see you staring. “It gives a better flavor as you smoke opposed to completely cutting off the tip.”

“Yeah, I got a little hot in there,” you reply. “So are cigars good? I’ve never tried one.”

“The right cigar is very good,” Hange explains, taking the cigar from their mouth and punching a hole into the end. They put it back into their mouth and strike a match and you’re captivated by their long fingers cupping the flame while bringing it up to their cigar. A few twirls between two fingers ensures that its lit evenly and Hange takes a few pulls and exhales a grey cloud into the cool night air. “Darker cigars—maduro they’re called— have a smoother taste. A lot of people think the lighter ones do but those tend to be harsh on the throat.”

You’re really drunk and wonder if you’ll remember this impromptu lesson on cigars, but mostly you’re enthralled with watching Hange smoke while looking like the picture of ease in their vest, the other hand in their trouser pocket.

“Would you like to try it?” they ask suddenly, and you realize they’re smiling while holding it out to you.

“You don’t mind?”

“Nah,” they reply, nudging their hand again in your direction. “Go on. Don’t suck too hard though, it’ll taste awful if you do.”

You feel awkward as you take the cigar and try to ignore the sensation of Hange’s fingers brushing against yours. Without their jacket on you catch a whiff of their cologne; something sweet yet musky with a hint of wood and vanilla. It mingles perfectly with the cigar smoke and the aroma leaves you light-headed.

Okay, girl, you really need to calm down, you tell yourself, lifting the cigar to your lips.

Normally you’d be disgusted by the idea of putting your mouth on something that was just in the mouth of someone you barely knew, but you aren’t for some reason. The tip of the cigar is damp and you brush way the intrusive thought that this is an indirect kiss, but you take a soft pull as directed and are shocked to find that it indeed tastes good.

“Nice, right?” Hange asks when they see your eyebrows raised in surprise.

“It is, actually,” you admit, handing the cigar back to them. “It’s sort of chocolatey but earthy? Makes me think of a nice latte.”

“Yes! Some people do have cigars with coffee, as well as chocolate and some teas.”

“That sounds nice.”

“It is. If you ever want a recommendation, I’d be happy to help.”

Just as you’re about to say yes, the door opens and Mikasa sticks out her head.

“Oh, here you are,” she says. “Sasha just texted me to see if we wanted to meet up with her and Jean at the diner.”

“Did any of you drive here?” Hange asks.

Mikasa shakes her head. “We took an Uber.”

“Me too,” you chime in.

“All right. If you need help getting home let one of us know.”

The rest of the night is uneventful and boring compared to how it started. Mikasa had her limit of alcohol and used Eren’s shoulder as a pillow for an impromptu nap. Armin’s face is flushed and he keeps complaining that he’s hot and his hair is annoying him. You dig two satin scrunchies out your purse and put his hair into two tiny pigtails and he is visibly relieved. Armin keeps his pigtails in and when Mikasa finally wakes up, she asks Eren if she’s seeing things while staring at Armin.

“I got hot,” Armin replies without further explanation.

“And on that note, I think it’s time to go,” you tell your friends. “I’m going to say goodnight to Hange and your cousin and his friends,” you add, looking at Mikasa who is laying back on Eren’s shoulder. She nods and remains silent, clearly not giving a shit.

“We’re going to leave now but I wanted to thank you,” you tell Hange, who is sitting in the booth with Moblit. “Did everyone else leave?”

“Nanaba and Miche did, and Erwin and Levi are probably making sure things are tidied up before they close. You said you all came in an Uber, right?”

“Yeah, I’m going to order one in a minute.”

Hange reaches into their vest pocket and pulls out their phone. They tap at the screen a few times and then hand it to you. “Just put in wherever you want to go.”

You see that they’re booking an Uber pool for you in an SUV which you know costs a grip.

“I’ll pay you back,” you tell Hange, and they wave dismissively.

“No need. The only thing you need to do is make sure you all get home safely.”

Hange waits outside with you all and you’re disappointed when the driver arrives faster than you anticipated.

“It was really nice meeting you,” they tell you, taking your hand and stroking the top with their thumb. That small touch leaves you speechless and you want to say more but Mikasa is yelling for you to get in the damn truck.

“You too,” you tell Hange, flashing them a smile before getting in the truck and shutting the door. You watch their retreating figure out the window until you’re out of sight, and then you feel immense regret at not asking for their phone number.

Shit.

“You like Hange, don’t you?” Mikasa asks a week later when you two are having a girl’s night at her place, although her sentence sounds more like a statement.

“What makes you think that?” you ask, wondering how the hell you’ve been caught.

Mikasa shrugs, leaning in close to a mirror and relining her lower lids with a smudgy black eyeliner pencil. “It was obvious that night. Well, obvious to me that is.”

“How the hell could anything be obvious to you? You were two hours late!”

“I only needed ten minutes at most to figure out that you like Hange,” Mikasa continues, now working on the other eye. “You wouldn’t stop looking at them.”

“Well, they’re good-looking. So they are non-binary, right? I didn’t want to be rude and ask since I’d just met them but that’s the impression I got from listening to everyone else speak.”

“Yeah, they are.”

“Cool. There was a woman named Yelena there too. She’s Hange’s ex?”

“She is, that bitch. They broke up a few months ago because Yelena’s a conniving, manipulative asshole. Levi didn’t like her from the start. Although it’s not as if he likes many people from the start.”

“He’s probably good at sniffing out bullshit,” you tell Mikasa, thinking back to her stern-faced cousin.

“He is and it’s annoying at times. He’s rarely wrong though, not that I’d admit it to him. Anyway, should I ask Levi for Hange’s number so you can text them?”

“No! I can’t do that.”

Now Mikasa is lining her lips in black, and you see her eyeing you through the mirror.

“Why not?” she asked, leaning closer to perfect the sharp lines at her cupid’s bow.

“Because I… I don’t know.”

Mikasa sighs and turns around to face you. “Listen, I know you’ve always been too shy to flirt with someone who wasn’t a man, and I get it. Men are simple as shit and think a girl likes them if she blinks in his direction. But Hange isn’t some big bad wolf who’s going to attack you. You two can meet for coffee or something casual.”

You know that Mikasa is right, and there’s a stretch of silence before you speak again.

“Fine. Text your cousin. But if Hange isn’t interested, do me a favor and please don’t tell me.”

“You got it, you dramatic weirdo. Honestly, you’re weird and Hange is weirder. You two should get on like a house on fire.”

“That’s an awful analogy, Mikasa,” you groan, flopping over onto your other side. “Can you do my makeup when you’re done?”

The corner of Mikasa’s lip lifts slightly and you know your tactic to distract her was fruitful. For some reason, Mikasa loves putting eyeliner on all her friends. Eren fussed that it made his eyes itch, but Armin allowed Mikasa to do whatever she wanted. You also didn’t mind; you found that someone else doing your makeup was relaxing, and sometimes you fell asleep and let Mikasa do whatever she wanted.

“You’re actually going to let me do your entire face?”

“I’ll do whatever you want me to do, Yoda.”

“Ugh, like I said—weirdo.”

“Yeah, but you love me.”

“Sure. Now be quiet while I clean your skin.”

You’re lying flat on Mikasa’s bed while she swipes a cotton pad soaked with micellar water across your cheek when you speak again. “So what else do you know about Hange?”

“They’re older than us but you know that already. I think they’re forty? Something like that; I only remember because I know Levi is a few years older.”

“Wow, I figured they were a few years older than us. I didn’t think there was a fourteen-year difference.”

“Yeah. They’re also smart as hell. Two doctorates I think and run a lab. Also an adjunct professor if I remember correctly.”

“Well now I’m a little intimidated,” you admit quietly.

“I don’t know why. This is the same Hange who blew up hard-boiled eggs in the microwave at Levi and Erwin’s house because they forgot that you can’t microwave eggs.”

“Okay, that’s actually funny.”

“It is, but the runt didn’t think so. He cursed out Hange, made them scrub it twice and cursed them out some more when they didn’t clean it to his standards.”

You think back to Levi fussing about Hange spilling olive brine all over his bar and fight back a laugh.

“I had a good time with Hange and their friends until you and Eren came. They’re really funny.”

“Yeah, they’re cool. I’ve known most of them since I was a kid.”

Mikasa is now working on your eyeliner so you stay quiet so she can concentrate.

“Let’s go outside when I’m finished your makeup,” she says, using a short eyeshadow brush to buff out the pencil liner. “I need to smoke and I also got that wine you like.”

“You don’t have to tell me twice,” you reply with a tiny grin.

Twenty minutes later, you and Mikasa are out on her balcony that’s been decked in orange lights that were meant for Halloween but are year-round decorations for her. Mikasa brought out her phone and speaker and a darkwave mix is playing in the background while you two puff on cloves and sip wine.

“I texted Levi for Hange’s number, by the way,” Mikasa says casually, blowing a puff of smoke out into the night air. “No doubt he’s wrapped around uncle Erwin right now so his phone is probably turned off.”

“Shit, thanks Mikasa. Now I’m going to be a nervous wreck all night.”

“I have something stronger than cloves if you want. There’s edibles and gummies; pick your poison.”

“I’ll keep that in mind, thanks.”

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