#Like knowing from a young age that you are what ruined your mothers life????? Fucking weird man i dont think i will ever process it

[jwanniie]

G!p stepmom Yujin x fem!reader

Part one , part two

Request!

Warnings: cheating (ughhhh), slight baby trapping, wlw marriage, almost got caught, unprotected sex (don’t be silly wrap your Willy), age gap, backshots, rough penetration, not proofread, p in v, slight manipulation, basically porn with plot, make out session, nasty sex and just filthy smut!!😮‍💨

Word count: 1,4k

After the previous event that happened between you and Yujin, You both started fucking like rabbits. She taught you new things, how to suck her the way she likes it, doggy, cowgirl, reverse cowgirl, cockwarming, basically a whole 101.

It was crazy how fast you learned how to please her and even crazier how your cunt was as tight as before at the way she fucked you, maybe even tighter.

There was few times where she used a condom, and there was also few times where she was raw hammering her tip against your cervix, but then she would deprive you from her creamy essence. Cumming on your back and chest. The only time she filled you up was on the first fuck-session with her, and you felt like on cloud 9.

You wished she would just toss away that rubber material, and just abuse your pussy with her big cock and fill you up. But she seemed so enthusiastic to use that useless roll up thing.

You knew that she is your stepmom and that she literally is married to your mother so she obviously just wants a fast fuck session till her wife comes back and then she would forget about you. What you didn’t know however was that she was as desperate as you, to throw that rubber material away.

She just thought that you are still young and that you probably don’t want to start overthinking about the risk of you getting pregnant with her child. So it was just something she had to accept, even tho feeling your spongy walls squeeze around her raw cock would drive her insane and make her cum three times faster, but she had to accept your wish that you didn’t even verbalize.

You had to take matters into your own hand, you went to her bedside table and opened the drawer. You took the two packs of condoms and went out to throw them in the street trash so she definitely won’t find them anywhere. You already stopped taking your birth control so that’s done and now you got rid of the condom packs so everything is under your control.

It wasn’t long till Yujin came back from work. She stepped inside the apartment and saw you on the couch laying comfortably. Your eyes traveled to her form, she looked breathtaking, a layer of sweat on her forehead, her other hand holding her black leather bag, the first two buttons unbuttoned while her was hanging loose.

You just wanted to suck the life out of her, take her balls into your mouth while the head of her cock was shoved down your throat, making her beg for more and gasp for air, but that was other days plan. Now you just wanted her buried deep inside you, spilling her cum inside your womb.

She walked towards the couch, sinking down on the space left, before searching for your face to pepper you with kisses. Her lips danced against yours, she pulled you onto her lap, you now straddling her. Your one hand was wrapped around her throat while the other cupping her face. Her hands were on the lower of your back. Massaging the area slowly.

It didn’t take long till the kiss got sloppy and messy, her saliva and your saliva drooling down your chin. To some people this was nasty and disgusting, but the both of you loved every second of it.

Yujin couldn’t say that she was dissatisfied with her bed life with your mother, but she definitely wasn’t satisfied either. Your mom hitting her way too often with ‘we are too old for this!’ And sticking with the boring same routine. She lost her mind over you, you were something so pure, ready to get ruined by her, all of your firsts with her,youthful, ready to experience new things, be freaky and wild. She hated the sentence we are too old, because she wasn’t old, and besides your mom was about 11 years older than her. She was about ten years older than you,not the craziest age gap but not the most common either.

Yujin wrapped her arms around your inner thighs before lifting you up and standing to walk towards the bedroom. She laid you down on the bed before opening the drawer, her expression turned from lust to annoyance pretty fast. She let out a loud growl, looking down at her hard on then back at you.

The condoms were not there so she had to go and buy them, and what shop is open at this time? Your eyes met hers, and you slid the already lose tie off her neck and started unbuttoning her blouse. She stopped your hands from continuing “We ran out of condoms and no shop is open now.” She felt bad for denying you but she wasn’t risking it. Her dick could wait till tomorrow.

“We don’t need one!” You smiled seductively before spitting out in a sultry tone. You yanked her hand away before continuing to unbutton her blouse. She looked back at you like you grew two heads.

“Are you sure? We can wait till tomorrow.” She reassured you, hoping that you are not feeling pressured to do anything. All of these thoughts were wiped once you lightly squeezed her hard on. A husky groan fell from her lips, her head thrown back. She tossed the last piece of clothing before ripping off the black silky night gown off you. The violated material now on the floor.

She took a grasp of your hips and flipped you over, face down ass up. Her bare cock having contact with your slick panties, she rubbed her angry red tip on the fabric, resulting more precum to spill out and more of your wetness to gush out.

With one motion your panties were next to the ripped night gown. She smeared her precum all over your slit, before pushing inside your velvety walls. A loud moan escaped your vocal cords. Your hands were gripping the sheets for dear life.

She started thrusting herself inside you roughly, hitting the sweet spongy spot inside you over and over. A ring of your wetness increasing with every thrust on her base.

She gripped your hip bone harshly, her nails piercing through your skin. While the bed rocked with every thrust of her hip.

Your ass jiggled with every movement, skin slapping sounds were echoing through the walls. While you fucked yourself back on her.

Your hips meeting each other and a loud stinging slap was landed on your ass cheek. You let out a whimper. Her hips actions were stopped at the ringing sound of her phone, and tears formed in your eyes while she let out another annoyed groan the same she let out earlier.

She picked her phone only to see that it was your mom, a rush of excitement flood through her before whispering next to your ear.

“It’s your mom, be quiet for me princess, yeah?”

You nodded hastily, putting a hand over your mouth to make sure you won’t let out a sound.

“Hi baby, everything good over there?” Yujin said in the most sickely sweet way ever, acting like she isn’t fucking her wifes daughter.

“Yeah, love. Just wanted to ask how you and y/n are doing, is everything ok?”

“Me and y/n are doing amazing, miss you so much!!” Yujin started rubbing her tip on your cervix. Why are you this quiet?? Isn’t she fucking you good enough?? She yanked your hair, a gasp came out from you. She wrapped a hand around your throat, forcing you to lay your head on her shoulder. Moans were threatening to come out from you at the way she was so soundlessly pounding your aching pussy. You weren’t paying attention to the conversation, the only thing on your mind was her hips thrusting in you.

She spit on your neck before licking a stripe up, you let out a whine. She bid her last goodbyes to your mother before hanging up. Her relentless pace was back on, her mouth was nibbling on the sensitive skin of your neck.

The pleasure was unbearable and overwhelming and with that your watery substance tried push her cock out. The clench of your pussy sent her over the edge and she spilled her seed deep inside your womb. A satisfied moan came out from your lips. Deep slumber took over the both of you.

[sereinnu]

Fractured Tides

Warnings: STEP-CEST| drugs and alcohol use| Rafe Cameron| very foul language| more yet to come| DON'T read if you're uncomfortable with these themes| MDNI| I already warned you not to read|

Rafe Cameron x Step-sister!Reader

Despite your efforts to make peace, your stepbrother Rafe's hatred for you persists. Each attempt to bridge the gap only seems to widen the divide, leaving you wondering if you'll ever find common ground in this family.

The Outer Banks were alive with the sounds of summer—the rustle of the breeze through the palm trees, the distant roar of the ocean, and the hum of a world that seemed so far removed from the chaos within Tannyhill. You had lived here for years now, but the house never truly felt like home. It was a place you were forced to adapt to, much like the family you were thrown into when your mother married Ward Cameron.

You were only eight years old then, a wide-eyed child trying to make sense of this new life. But even at that young age, you could sense Rafe's disdain. He was older, already on the cusp of adolescence, and his resentment towards you was palpable. You were the intruder, the outsider who disrupted the Cameron family dynamic.

Now, a decade later, little had changed between you and Rafe. If anything, the years had only deepened the chasm between you. You tried to keep your distance, knowing that your presence in his life was unwanted. But living under the same roof made that nearly impossible.

You were in the kitchen, making a cup of tea when you heard the front door slam. The heavy, hurried footsteps that followed told you it was Rafe. His presence was almost always announced this way—loud, forceful, a storm barreling through the house.

You didn’t have to see him to know he was upset. You could feel it, like a pressure in the air that made your skin crawl. But when Rafe appeared in the doorway, his eyes wild and his hair disheveled, you couldn’t ignore him.

“What happened?” you asked cautiously, not sure if he would answer.

Rafe’s eyes snapped to you, narrowing in that way they always did when he looked at you—like you were something distasteful, something he wished would disappear. “None of your business,” he growled, moving past you to rummage through the cupboards.

You watched him, your fingers tightening around the handle of your mug. “I’m just trying to help,” you said softly, knowing your words would likely fall on deaf ears.

He slammed the cupboard door shut, making you flinch. “I don’t need your help,” he spat, turning to face you with a sneer. “You’ve been here for years, and you still don’t get it, do you? You’re not a Cameron. You never were, and you never will be.”

The words stung, even though you had heard variations of them before. But there was something particularly venomous in his tone today, something that made you realize this wasn’t just his usual hostility. He was angry—angrier than usual.

You took a deep breath, trying to steady yourself. “Why do you hate me so much, Rafe? What did I ever do to you?”

Rafe laughed, but there was no humor in it. “You want a list? Because I can start with the fact that you ruined everything. Before you and your mom came along, we were fine. We were a family. But then you showed up, and everything went to shit.”

You shook your head, trying to make sense of his words. “That’s not fair, Rafe. I was just a kid. I didn’t ask for any of this.”

“Yeah, well, neither did I,” he snapped. “But here we are, stuck in this fucked-up situation. And every time I look at you, I’m reminded of how much I hate it.”

His words were like a punch to the gut, knocking the air out of you. You knew Rafe didn’t like you, but hearing him say it out loud, with such malice, was something else entirely.

For a moment, the kitchen was silent except for the sound of your uneven breathing. Rafe’s gaze bore into you, his eyes dark and unforgiving. You wanted to say something, to defend yourself, but the words wouldn’t come. All you could do was stand there, rooted to the spot, feeling like the intruder he had always accused you of being.

Finally, Rafe shook his head, as if he were disgusted with himself for even engaging with you. “Just stay out of my way,” he muttered, brushing past you to leave the kitchen.

You watched him go, the tension in your chest slowly easing as the distance between you grew. But the ache his words had left behind didn’t fade. It lingered, a reminder that no matter how hard you tried, you would never be part of this family—not in Rafe’s eyes.

As you stood alone in the kitchen, the house around you seemed to grow colder, the warmth of the summer day outside a cruel contrast to the chill that had settled within. The Outer Banks were supposed to be a paradise, but for you, it was nothing more than a gilded cage, trapping you in a life where you didn’t belong.

And Rafe, with all his anger and resentment, was the constant reminder that you were an outsider—a permanent stain on the perfect Cameron image.

The days following your confrontation with Rafe were tense, but that wasn’t unusual. Tension had become the norm in your life at Tannyhill, and you had learned to navigate it as best you could. But this time, the tension felt different—more personal, more cutting. Rafe's words had sunk deep, and no matter how much you tried to shake them off, they lingered like a bruise that refused to heal.

You spent most of your time avoiding him, retreating to the few places in the house where you could find some semblance of peace. One of those places was the library, a grand room lined with shelves upon shelves of books. It was one of the only rooms in the house that felt like it belonged to another time, another life—somewhere far away from the chaos of the present.

You were there now, curled up in a corner with a book that you weren’t really reading. The words on the page blurred together as your thoughts drifted back to the encounter with Rafe. His anger had always been a part of your life, but now, it felt like something you couldn’t ignore, something that was slowly suffocating you.

The sound of the door creaking open pulled you from your thoughts. You tensed, hoping it wasn’t Rafe. But when you looked up, you saw Sarah standing in the doorway. Her expression was tentative, as if she wasn’t sure she was welcome.

“Hey,” she said softly, stepping into the room. “Mind if I join you?”

You shook your head, offering her a small smile. “Of course not.”

Sarah walked over and sat down beside you, her gaze scanning the room before settling on you. “I’ve been looking for you,” she said. “You’ve been hiding out in here a lot lately.”

“Just trying to stay out of the way,” you replied, knowing she would understand the implication. Sarah was the one person in the house who tried to bridge the gap between you and the rest of the family. She had always been kind to you, always tried to make you feel included, even when Rafe made it clear that you weren’t.

She sighed, leaning back against the armrest. “I’m sorry about Rafe,” she said quietly. “I know he can be… difficult.”

You let out a bitter laugh. “That’s putting it mildly.”

Sarah looked at you, her eyes full of sympathy. “He’s just… he’s been through a lot. But that doesn’t excuse the way he treats you.”

You nodded, but you couldn’t bring yourself to say anything. What was there to say? You had known Rafe was troubled from the start, but that didn’t make it any easier to deal with his hatred.

“Have you talked to him?” Sarah asked after a moment. “Really talked to him?”

You shook your head. “What’s the point? He’s made it clear how he feels about me. Talking won’t change that.”

Sarah frowned, her fingers twisting a strand of her blonde hair. “Maybe not. But I think he needs to hear that you’re not the enemy. You’re not the reason things changed.”

You knew she was right, but the thought of confronting Rafe again made your stomach turn. “I don’t think he cares about what I have to say, Sarah. He’s always seen me as an outsider, someone who doesn’t belong here. I’m not a Cameron to him, and I never will be.”

Sarah was quiet for a moment, as if she was trying to find the right words. “He’s not the only one who gets to decide that,” she said finally. “You’re a part of this family, whether he likes it or not. And I don’t want you to feel like you have to hide because of him.”

Her words were comforting, but they didn’t erase the fear that had taken root in you. “I just don’t want to make things worse,” you admitted. “The last thing I want is to set him off again.”

Sarah reached out and placed a hand on your arm. “You won’t. I’ll talk to him. Maybe I can help him see things differently.”

You smiled weakly, appreciating the offer but doubting it would make much of a difference. “Thanks, Sarah. But I don’t want you to get caught in the middle of this.”

“I’m already in the middle,” she said with a small shrug. “But that’s what family is for, right? We stick together, even when things are tough.”

Her words hit you harder than you expected. Family was a concept that had always been complicated for you, especially since moving in with the Camerons. But hearing Sarah say it, hearing her include you in that definition, made you realize how much you longed for that connection—for a place where you truly belonged.

“Yeah,” you said softly. “I guess it is.”

Sarah gave you a reassuring smile before standing up. “Come on, let’s get out of here for a bit. We can go down to the beach or something. Clear our heads.”

You hesitated, glancing out the window at the fading light. The idea of leaving the safety of the library made you uneasy, but you knew Sarah was trying to help. And maybe getting out of the house, even for a little while, would do you some good.

“Okay,” you agreed, closing your book and standing up. “Let’s go.”

As you followed Sarah out of the library, you couldn’t help but feel a small sense of relief. For now, at least, you didn’t have to face Rafe alone. But deep down, you knew that sooner or later, you would have to confront him again—and when that time came, you weren’t sure how it would end.

The two of you walked down the grand staircase, the wooden steps creaking under your feet. The house was quiet, almost too quiet, as if it were holding its breath, waiting for something to happen. You tried to push the feeling aside, focusing instead on Sarah’s presence beside you. She was your anchor in this chaotic world, and you were grateful for it.

As you reached the front door, you hesitated for a moment, glancing back down the hallway. It was irrational, but you half-expected Rafe to appear out of nowhere, his anger boiling over once again. But the hall was empty, and the silence remained unbroken.

“Come on,” Sarah urged gently, sensing your reluctance. “It’ll be good to get some fresh air.”

You nodded, finally stepping out onto the porch. The warm evening air greeted you, carrying the scent of salt and sun-warmed earth. The sky was painted in shades of pink and orange, the sun dipping below the horizon. It was the kind of evening that should have brought you peace, but the tension in your chest refused to ease.

You followed Sarah down the steps and onto the path that led to the beach. The sand was cool beneath your feet as you kicked off your shoes, the grains slipping between your toes. The sound of the waves crashing against the shore was soothing, a rhythmic reminder that the world kept turning, even when it felt like everything else was falling apart.

Sarah walked a little ahead of you, her hair catching the last rays of the sun. She glanced back at you with a smile, trying to draw you into the moment. “It’s beautiful, isn’t it? This is my favorite time of day.”

You managed a small smile in return. “Yeah, it is.”

The two of you walked in companionable silence for a while, the only sounds around you coming from the ocean and the occasional call of a seabird. It was peaceful, almost serene, and you found yourself relaxing just a little. Maybe Sarah was right—maybe this was exactly what you needed.

After a few minutes, Sarah spoke again, her tone more serious. “You know, Rafe wasn’t always like this.”

You glanced at her, curious. “What do you mean?”

She sighed, her gaze fixed on the horizon. “He was different when we were younger. Before Dad… well, before everything changed. He used to be kind, protective even. But when things started going wrong, he just… I don’t know, he shut down. And then he started acting out, getting into trouble. It’s like he became someone else.”

You listened intently, trying to picture the Rafe she was describing. It was hard to imagine him as anything other than the angry, volatile person you knew now. “What happened?” you asked softly.

Sarah hesitated, as if she were weighing her words carefully. “A lot of things. Mom leaving hit him hard, harder than he let on. And then Dad… he put so much pressure on Rafe to be the man of the house, to live up to this impossible standard. I think it broke something in him.”

You had known about Rafe’s struggles with his father, but hearing it from Sarah made it feel more real. It wasn’t an excuse for his behavior, but it gave you a glimpse of the pain that might be fueling his anger. “I had no idea it was that bad,” you admitted.

Sarah nodded, her expression sad. “He won’t talk about it, not even with me. But I see it in him, every day. He’s drowning, and I don’t know how to help him. And now, with you here, it’s like he’s lashing out because he doesn’t know what else to do.”

You swallowed hard, feeling a surge of empathy for both of them. “I don’t want to make things worse for him, Sarah. I just want to find a way to coexist, to be a part of this family without everything falling apart.”

Sarah reached out and squeezed your hand, her touch warm and reassuring. “You’re already part of this family. Don’t let Rafe make you feel like you’re not. He’ll come around eventually. I know he will.”

You wanted to believe her, but a part of you couldn’t shake the doubt. Rafe’s hatred for you ran deep, and you weren’t sure if anything could change that. But for Sarah’s sake, you would try. You owed her that much.

As the sun finally dipped below the horizon, casting the beach in shadows, you felt a sense of resolve settle within you. You couldn’t change the past, and you couldn’t force Rafe to accept you. But you could control how you responded to him, how you chose to live in this fractured family.

For now, that would have to be enough.

As the last rays of sunlight disappeared, you and Sarah found a spot to sit on the sand. The ocean stretched out before you, dark and endless, a stark contrast to the earlier warmth of the day. It was as if the world was mirroring your own emotions—caught in a delicate balance between light and darkness, peace and tension.

You pulled your knees to your chest, wrapping your arms around them as you watched the waves. Sarah sat beside you, her gaze also fixed on the horizon. For a while, neither of you spoke, content to just be in each other’s company. The quiet between you was comfortable, a welcome reprieve from the turmoil that so often surrounded you.

But even in the calm, your thoughts kept drifting back to Rafe. His anger, his pain—it was like a storm that loomed over you, always threatening to break. You knew it wasn’t fair to place all the blame on him, but his behavior had shaped so much of your life at Tannyhill. And no matter how much you tried to avoid it, you couldn’t escape the impact he had on you.

“Do you ever wish things were different?” you asked suddenly, the question slipping out before you could stop it.

Sarah looked at you, her brow furrowing slightly. “Different how?”

You sighed, searching for the right words. “I don’t know. I just… I wish things weren’t so complicated. I wish I didn’t feel like I have to tiptoe around Rafe all the time. I wish I could just… be.”

Sarah was quiet for a moment, her expression thoughtful. “Yeah, I get that,” she said finally. “I wish things were different too. I wish Rafe could see that we’re all on the same side, that we’re family. But it’s like he’s stuck in this loop of anger and resentment, and he can’t break out of it.”

You nodded, feeling a pang of sadness. “Do you think he ever will?”

“I hope so,” Sarah replied, her voice soft. “But I don’t know. Sometimes, it feels like he’s so far gone that nothing can reach him. But other times… I see glimpses of the old Rafe, the one who cared about us. I just wish those moments lasted longer.”

Her words echoed your own feelings—this constant push and pull between hope and despair, between believing that things could get better and fearing that they never would. It was exhausting, living with that uncertainty, but it was all you had.

“I don’t know how to help him,” you admitted, your voice barely above a whisper. “I don’t even know if I can.”

Sarah turned to you, her eyes filled with empathy. “You’ve already helped him more than you realize. Just by being here, by not giving up on him, you’re doing more than most people would. And I think, deep down, he knows that. He just doesn’t know how to show it.”

You looked at her, surprised by her words. “You really think so?”

She nodded, her expression sincere. “I do. Rafe’s angry, but he’s not heartless. He’s just… lost. And maybe, in time, he’ll find his way back. But until then, we just have to keep being there for him, even when it’s hard.”

Her words gave you a small glimmer of hope, something to hold onto in the darkness. Maybe Sarah was right—maybe there was still a chance for Rafe to change, for things to get better. It wouldn’t be easy, and it wouldn’t happen overnight, but you were willing to try. For Sarah, for yourself, and maybe even for Rafe.

The two of you sat in silence for a while longer, watching as the stars began to twinkle in the night sky. The air had cooled, and you found yourself shivering slightly. Sarah noticed and nudged you with her shoulder. “Come on, let’s head back. It’s getting cold.”

You nodded, standing up and brushing the sand off your clothes. As you followed Sarah back up the path to the house, you couldn’t help but feel a sense of dread creeping in. The peace you had found on the beach was fleeting, and you knew that once you stepped back inside Tannyhill, the tension would return.

But you couldn’t avoid it forever. You had to face Rafe, and you had to find a way to live in this fractured family. It was the only way things would ever change.

As you approached the house, you caught sight of a figure standing by the front door. Your heart skipped a beat when you realized it was Rafe. He was leaning against the doorframe, a cigarette dangling from his lips, the glow of the ember illuminating his face in the darkness.

Sarah stiffened beside you, her steps faltering for a moment before she continued forward. You followed her lead, trying to keep your breathing steady as you approached Rafe. His eyes flicked to you, a scowl already forming on his face.

“Where’ve you been?” he asked, his tone laced with irritation.

“Just down at the beach,” Sarah replied, her voice calm. “Needed some fresh air.”

Rafe’s gaze shifted to you, his eyes narrowing. “What about you? Hiding out again?”

You swallowed, trying to keep your voice steady. “Just… trying to stay out of your way.”

Rafe let out a bitter laugh, taking a drag from his cigarette. “Yeah, right. You always have to be where you’re not wanted, don’t you?”

You flinched at his words, the sting of them hitting you harder than you expected. But before you could respond, Sarah stepped in, her tone firm. “Rafe, don’t. She’s just trying to keep the peace.”

Rafe glared at her, but there was a flicker of something in his eyes—guilt, maybe, or regret. It was gone as quickly as it appeared, replaced by the usual anger. “Whatever,” he muttered, tossing his cigarette to the ground and crushing it under his heel. “I’m going out.”

He pushed past you both, his shoulder brushing yours as he walked away. You watched him go, the tension in your chest returning with full force.

“Let him go,” Sarah said quietly, placing a hand on your arm. “He needs to cool off.”

You nodded, your eyes still fixed on Rafe’s retreating figure. As much as you wanted to believe that there was hope for him, moments like this made it hard to hold onto that belief.

But you had promised yourself that you wouldn’t give up. Not yet. Not until you had tried everything.

With a deep breath, you turned back to the house, following Sarah inside. The warmth of the house was a stark contrast to the coldness you felt inside, but you forced yourself to push those feelings aside.

For now, all you could do was take it one day at a time, hoping that eventually, the storm would pass, and there would be something left worth saving.

-

The warmth of the house greeted you as you stepped inside, but it did little to chase away the chill that had settled in your bones. The encounter with Rafe had left you rattled, and no matter how much you tried to push it aside, it lingered in the back of your mind like a dark cloud.

As the night grew deeper, Sarah suggested heading to bed, and you agreed. The exhaustion was starting to weigh on you, and you knew you wouldn’t be able to keep your eyes open much longer.

But as you made your way up the stairs and to your room, your mind was still racing, your thoughts still tangled in the web of emotions that had been spun over the course of the day.

You paused outside your door, glancing down the hallway toward Rafe���s room. The door was closed, and the light was off, but you knew he wasn’t asleep.

You could feel his presence like a shadow, lurking just out of sight. The anger, the resentment—it was all still there, simmering beneath the surface, waiting for the next opportunity to boil over.

With a heavy sigh, you turned away and entered your room, closing the door behind you. The familiar surroundings did little to comfort you tonight, the weight of the day’s events pressing down on you like a lead blanket.

You changed into your pajamas and slipped into bed, pulling the covers up to your chin in a futile attempt to ward off the chill that had settled in your bones.

As you lay there in the darkness, your thoughts kept drifting back to Rafe. You couldn’t help but wonder what was going through his mind, what demons he was battling in the privacy of his own room.

You wished you could reach out to him, break through the walls he had built around himself, but you didn’t know how.And maybe, deep down, you were afraid that if you did, you would only find more anger, more pain—more reasons to keep your distance.

Sleep came slowly that night, your mind refusing to quiet down long enough for you to drift off. When you finally did fall asleep, it was restless, filled with fragmented dreams that left you feeling more exhausted than before. But even in your sleep, only a name remained constant.

-

You tried to sleep, but your mind refused to let go of the events of the day. The tension between you and Rafe was like a thorn lodged deep, impossible to ignore and growing more painful with every passing moment. You tossed and turned, the silence of the house amplifying the thoughts racing through your mind. Finally, you gave up, deciding that lying in bed, wide awake, would do nothing to ease the unrest.

Quietly, you slipped out of bed and made your way to the window. You pulled the curtain aside, letting the moonlight spill into the room. Outside, the world was still, the garden bathed in silver light. The sight should have been calming, but it only made the turmoil inside you feel even more out of place.

Before you could talk yourself out of it, you grabbed a sweater and tiptoed out of your room. You needed to clear your head, and the fresh air might help. As you moved through the dark hallway, your steps were cautious, avoiding the spots that creaked. The last thing you wanted was to wake anyone up, least of all Rafe.

But as you passed his door, something made you stop. The door was slightly ajar, and a sliver of light spilled into the hallway. Your heart rate quickened. Rafe was awake. You hesitated, debating whether to go on with your plan to escape outside or to check on him.

Part of you wanted to keep walking, to avoid another confrontation that might end with more hurtful words, but another part of you was drawn to him—curious, worried even. Before you could overthink it, you stepped closer and gently pushed the door open.

Rafe was sitting on the edge of his bed, his head in his hands. His room was a mess, with clothes and other belongings strewn about carelessly. He didn’t notice you at first, too absorbed in his own thoughts. But the moment your shadow fell across the threshold, he looked up, his eyes narrowing.

“What are you doing here?” he snapped, his voice low but filled with irritation.

You swallowed, not entirely sure what had driven you to enter. “I couldn’t sleep,” you said softly, taking a cautious step forward. “I saw your light was on.”

Rafe’s gaze flicked to the bedside lamp, as if realizing it was on for the first time. He looked back at you, his expression hardening. “So what? You came to check on me? Don’t bother.”

The sharpness of his tone made you wince, but you didn’t retreat. You stood your ground, despite the tension crackling in the air between you.

“Rafe,” you started, trying to keep your voice steady, “I just… I wanted to see if you were okay.”

He let out a bitter laugh, shaking his head. “Yeah, right. You don’t need to pretend like you care. You’re just another person in this house who’s waiting for me to screw up."

His words stung, but they didn’t surprise you. You’d heard them before, in different forms, always laced with the same bitterness. Still, hearing them now, when you had genuinely been concerned, cut deep.

“That’s not true,” you said quietly. “I do care, Rafe. Whether you believe it or not.”

He stood up abruptly, making you take a step back. His eyes bore into yours, intense and full of emotion that he kept bottled up most of the time. “Why? Why do you care, huh? You’re not even really part of this family. You’re just some—”

He stopped himself, but the words hung heavy in the air. Just some outsider, some girl who was forced into his life, someone who would never really belong.

You felt the lump forming in your throat, but you refused to let the tears fall. Not in front of him. “You’re right,” you said, your voice trembling despite your efforts to keep it steady. “Maybe I don’t belong. But that doesn’t mean I don’t care about what happens to you.”

Rafe stared at you, his expression unreadable. For a moment, you thought you saw something soften in his gaze, but it was gone as quickly as it appeared, replaced by the familiar mask of anger and resentment.

“Don’t waste your time on me,” he said finally, his voice cold. “You’re better off staying away.”

The finality in his tone was like a door slamming shut. It was clear he didn’t want you there, didn’t want your concern or your attempts to reach out. But instead of retreating, you took a deep breath and pushed back.

“I can’t do that, Rafe,” you said, surprising even yourself with the firmness in your voice. “I can’t just pretend like you don’t matter. You’re my brother, whether you like it or not.”

Rafe’s eyes flashed with something you couldn’t quite identify—anger, hurt, maybe even fear. But he didn’t respond, just stood there, staring at you like he was waiting for you to leave.

When you realized he wasn’t going to say anything more, you turned away, feeling the sting of rejection but refusing to let it break you. You paused at the door, looking back at him one last time.

“If you ever want to talk… I’m here,” you offered, even though you knew he wouldn’t take you up on it.

With that, you left the room, closing the door softly behind you. You leaned against it for a moment, letting out a shaky breath you hadn’t realized you were holding.

This was going to be harder than you thought, but you weren’t ready to give up on Rafe. Not yet. There was something underneath all that anger, something worth saving, and you were determined to find it—even if it meant getting hurt in the process.

[yandereforme]

Okay, I’m still working on all of my bat family stuff, but consider… x

Yandere ASTV x O’Hara! Child! Reader

Like, in your universe, you were raised by Miguel O’Hara after your bio parents died, and you became a spider hero at age 10.(I kind of like the idea that your situation is similar to Miles, there was a Spider-Man but he died protecting you. Extra angst if it’s your Miguel who died.)

Your Miguel wasn’t yandere, but he was an overprotective parent. He definitely homeschooled you, and tried his best to shield you from the world, leaving you with a pretty optimistic outlook on life, and oblivious to life’s challenges.

You would end up in another universe on accident about half a year after you became spidery.(In this au, you were bitten about two weeks to a month before you started your vigilante gig.) I am seeing four different scenarios.

You end up in Hobie’s world, which would definitely be a shock, since your universe is very similar to our world, and as you are very sheltered, you definitely freak out and end up attracting Hobie’s attention. I see him trying to show you the good side of rebellion, and getting very protective on your behalf.( The climax is definitely you taking a bullet for him because a cop tried to shoot him in the back of the head. The bullet injures you but doesn’t kill you. Hobie fucking destroys the cop, but definitely makes you go somewhere safe so you don’t see it. Hobie likes your growing rebellious tendencies, but he doesn’t want to ruin all of your innocence.)

You end up in Gwen’s universe. There would definitely be confusion in the civilians, since they are used to a very different Spider-Woman. Gwen finds you quick, and 100% gets attached within minutes. You are completely alone and so small and you look at her with big hopeful eyes.(She has several mini heart attacks as she learns about your world.)

You end up in 1610 Miles’s world. He would 100% bond with you over taking over a different Spider-Man’s mantle, and facing criticism for it. He would definitely try to shield you from any problems, especially since you are so young. (I kind of like the idea of him introducing you to his parents and them getting attached too.) I don’t have any exact idea for how he would become yandere, but finding out about your Miguel would definitely confuse him.(he would have to figure out how someone like Miguel could raise you, but would remind himself they are different.)

You end up in 42 Miles’s world. You definitely catch his attention, especially since this is after ASTV.(The ending killed me, so I’m saying 1610 Miles escaped and defeated Spot with a semi truce with 42 Miles.) Prowler would definitely be interested about you, but what changes everything is you saving his mother’s life. You were patrolling and saw her be attacked, probably by a villain who found out Prowler’s identity. You save her life, just as 42 Miles arrives.(I’m imagining 42 Rio Morales doesn’t know her son is the Prowler, but finds out, culminating into a very tense dinner you get dragged into.)

After a few weeks, you definitely want to get home. Since every Spider has some weird abilities, I’m going with you being able to find portals easier, and if you strain yourself, you can make them.

You definitely have an argument about trying to go home, and use your power for the first time. However, you are upset and unsure and all you are thinking about as the world around you glitches is that you want your dad.

This leads to you quite literally falling at the feet of Miguel in the Spiderverse Headquarters, disoriented and exhausted from your powers, only able to manage a strangled “Papa?” before you pass out at his feet.

[certainduckanchor]

PITIFUL part 1

pairings: gojo x reader

genre: angst

Disclaimer: Read at your own risk.

Gojo hate the fact that he's married already. He don't want to be tied with someone at the age of 28. He has so many plans for himself. He wants to be free. But here you are acting so sweet, kind, and timid in front of him, which is he hates the most. Why would you ever agree to be married to him? Is it because he came from prestigious clan? You want his money?

He don't even know you, where you from, or even your name, he don't give a damn. It was his parents and elders idea, practically thinking that it would be best if the strongest sorcerer get married and has heirs.

" why are you here? " he asked you look irritated. Everyday he always asked you that question. Thinking why are you living together.

" because im you wife." you said softly. You heard him took a deep breath. You didn't bother to look at him because you know he hates you. Every single thing about you hates him, well you can't blame. The strongest sorcerer suddenly get married to someone like you. Someone who is far from his status.

" wife my ass! Are you really that stupid and pathetic?" he mocked. Trying to make you mad.

Everyday is like this since you two got married. It was so sudden that no one knew. It was a simple wedding celebration just you and Gojo's clan.

He also made it clear that no one should know that you're married together. Even in school, he specifically told you to stay away from him and you agree. You respect his decision, after all your life is meaningless anyway. You don't want to burden him.

" call me what you want, Satoru. But I don't need to answer you." you simply said not bothering to look at him.

He grabbed your arm which made you look at him. He looks dangerous. He's blue eyes is piercing through your body. It made you shiver.

" what do you want woman?! My money? My body? You want heirs?! Tell me and I'll fuck you right here and now!"

" let me go." you whispered. You don't want to start a fight with him.

" what did you say?!"

" let me go Satoru..." you warned.

" what if I don't? What can you do? You're nothing but a weak woman, pathetic, stupid, bit--"

You slapped him so hard. His eyes widened in disbelief, what you did boils him.

" I-i'm sorry, I-i didn't mea--" you tried to touch his face.

" how fucking dare you!" he grabbed your arm. You cried in pain. It's like he'll break your arm.

" S-satoru please.. l-let me go. It hurts. Please! Please! Just let me go. I'll do anything you want!" your begging. You tried to calm him down. Suddenly he stop, grinning at you. This is what he likes, he likes you to beg for him. He wants you to realized that marrying him is a wrong decision.

" get out of this house. I don't want to see your face." you nod and he leaves. If this is what he wants, I'll give it to him.

You packed your things. Wondering where you will stay the night. Hotel? it's expensive. You dont have much money, even if Gojo is your husband you never touch what's his. So you're only living in your salary. You decided to stay the night in your dorm.

Just a little. You just have to endure everything in this life.

- ff -

" yn-sama. you're late. " the maid bowed at you. She gives you a robe.

You look at the door infront of you. You thought you will finally escape from them after marrying the person they trully want but you can't. You're so sick of them, but whenever Gojo sees you you can't help but feel bad for him. You really don't want this to happened - to ruin his life.

You entered the hell, this was hell from you ever since you're young.

" yn we've been waiting for you." it was your mother. You bowed to them.

" I'm sorry.. there was something i nee--"

" i don't give a damn. So how's your married life with the strongest sorcerer?" she asked.

Every month, every last friday of the month. You were told to report from them about what it's like to live with the strongest sorcerer.

" it was great mother. he's so powerful and a kind person." you lied, still bowing to them. You feel sick, every month you have to make an excuse just to please them.

" that's good to hear. how about heirs? are you pregnant now?" your father asked.

This is their plan, to get you married from the strongest sorcerer, have his money and give birth to him. It was all their selfish desire.

" no father.. Satoru is so busy being a sorcerer and clan leader." you bite your lower lip.

" what?! you're married for 5 months already still no child?" he looks at you angry. Cursing you because for him it's your fault. You mother who was sitting beside him looks angry too.

" why don't you seduce him! Use your fucking mind! We want heirs now!" he shouts at you.

You silently clenched your fist. You're tired from this. Tired from your life. Tired from everything. You just want to die.

" I'll do my best next time father." you whispered.

" you better be or else you know what will happen to you!"

Suddenly the door opened, it was the maids. You know the drill what will happen next. They will beat the shit out of you at the basement.

You let them drag you, you didn't bother to squirm. Hoping this will be the last, hoping you will not survive from this. No one will really cares if you died here, even your husband who dispise you the most.

They lock you up for 2 hours. Whipping and beating your body. You didn't make a sound nor cried. You felt numb, growing up from these beatings made you strong enough not to cry.

After beating the shit out of you. You just dress like nothing happened. Still wondering why you didn't died today. You were used to this.

Is this the purpose of my life? I just wanted to be happy. But why is this happening? Why do I have to endure everything? Is it too much to ask?

When you arrive at your dorm. You locked yourself crying. Everything hurts. You're tired from everything. Maybe it's better if you killed yourself now. That's it. You'll end this suffering.

You stared at the mirror. Smiling at your reflection. Reminiscing your childhood trauma until Gojo Satoru entered your useless life. Gojo was right. Who wants to gets married to a woman like me? A woman who looks stupid and pathetic. A woman who's weaker than him. I'm just a bug in his life, a woman who ruined his life.

You drive yourself to your shared apartment. Satoru was there, for sure. Today you will end ties with him. You're finally giving him the freedom he deserves.

When you arrived at your apartment, you heard a moan coming from your bedroom. Not a surprise anymore.

" Satoru..." you called. His eyes widened and he immediately cover his body together with the woman he's fucking.

" what the hell! why are you here?" he angrily said.

" I'm sorry.. " you started. " Sorry for ruining your life. Sorry because I agreed to marry you. You're right, I'm just a pathetic and stupid woman. I don't hate you actually. Thank you and sorry for everything. "

He was stunned. This is so sudden. The woman in your bed looks confuse too.

" I'm cutting everything we had. Don't worry I'm still keeping your secrets. I wish you a happy life. You deserve so much. " you smiled for the last time. You bowed at him leaving him in the bedroom stunned. He can't believe you did that.

You genuinely smiled to him. Gojo Satoru swears that this is the first time you smiled at him.

You went back to your dorm happily.

Later that night..

They found your body in your dorm, lifeless, full of scars, bruise and wounds. The sound of their cries echoes through the hallway of Jujutsu High. Their beloved teacher yn is gone.

No proofreading.

P.S. thank youuu @kawaiivillainess98 for suggesting a title ❤️

[yanderederee]

MeetYourTutor,

nav: start! › after!

⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯✦

2004 - Eight Grade-year

Baji Keisuke really did try to be as straight laced as he could, but his grades showed none of the same effort.

Ever since he came home to his mother crying, scared for her baby boy’s future, Keisuke started to realize that his actions and mistakes could be big— real, and hurt the people he wanted to protect.

‘I cant be worrying her like that’, he reasoned to himself. She was a young mom. 28 years of age, with a 13 year old brat… Keisuke knows he’s made life hell for her, but she never gave up on. He tried making up for everything he ruined for her, becoming more respectful in towards her the most recent years, doing as he’s told (for the most part) and helping around the apartment… to make her proud.

He was really trying.

February22nd, 2004

Baji Keisuke is held back from entering into the third year of middle school, and will have to repeat year two.

—-As stated by an official government stamped letter; to the Baji residence mailbox.

Ryoko Baji cried when she thought her son was asleep. Keisuke’s guilt sank in deeper and deeper as the hours passed.

He asks Mikey for advice, and sure as boxes are square, glasses make you smart.

Two days pass, and a single failed shopping trip turned 40 v 1 man brawl later, he obtained the smartest person glasses he could find.

So why the hell were the pre-qualifying class assignment packets practically illegible? The glasses help (he swears) but he really had to put in the work this time.

February26th, 2004

Imagine how confused Baji felt, watching his mom hustle into the apartment, giddy despite having returned home after her third shift of the day. It was rare to see her home these last few months. She’d put on a brave face and did her best to help Keisuke through what had just happened 7 months ago— but a man was dead and her son had been the face of local news. Finding work was hard, but she preserved.

He wouldn’t let those efforts go to waste.

Ryoko held up a cutely decorated 8x11 colored printing paper, advertising 30-60 minute tutoring sessions for 1,000¥ per week, and encouraged her son to take the opportunity. Baji was quick to agree with her.

That’s how you met Ryoko and Keisuke Baji.

Ryoko had contacted you the same day, asking for further set details.

You were to attend the same school, which made things more convenient for when school would start up next month.

So, after you’d looking over Keisuke’s pre-qualification-class assignment packet, you got a feel for where you should focus your efforts.

But Baji Keisuke was Fucking unreadable. He was grinning like a boy and thanking you for your help one second, the next you’re like a stranger to him. He couldn’t remember your name at first either, qualifying to calling you whatever name came to mind first.

You would once in a while poke irritably at the nerdy four eyes, and how you were technically older than him, by eight months, in fact.

So to poke back, he addressed you like the upperclassman you claimed to be, sempai-chan.

From your first meeting, up til March 5th, you and Baji had studied hard for the pre-qualifying test that would take place on the 15th.

School would start early April, and a strong start is going to be your greatest milestone, as you claimed.

… Yeah, up until March 5th, when you and Baji found and cared for a broken kitten on the side of the road. *› nav:part.1… ›

It wasn’t normal to see injured animals laying so out in the open. It was even more nerve wracking to notice the broken bones were human inflicted. What kind of bastard hurts a fucking kitten?

The thought made Baji Keisuke’s blood boil.

Starting from that day, he started paying closer attention to those in the area. This was the first time something like that had happened.

But nothing happened since.

Activity was taking place away from his side of town. Keisuke didn’t have to worry about you, since he was a half hour walk away. You never went out after dark, and your weekends were mostly spent in safe areas.

He didn’t have to worry about you.

You shyly admitted to Baji once that you named Sango after the day you two had found her. (san-3, go-5, san.go-3.5> march 5th)

March 11th, 2004

The only time he felt calm was when he watched you ideally scribble gibberish into a notebook. He watched your hands. The way your fingers flex in delicate and quick strokes, the lead rattling in the mechanical pencil filling the comfortable silence between you two.

The glasses Keisuke had purchased were practically made of two way glass. He saw out of them just fine. They weren’t prescribed glasses or anything, just a tool that made him smarter.

But from those looking his direction, thanks to the thick rims and aggressive reflect; his sharp resting bitch face eyes went completely unnoticed.

He was grateful for that the most, Baji decided when he caught you take a glance up at him, completely unaware how he was just staring at your hands.

You thought you were slick with that glance. It was cute.

You weren’t nervous of Baji I’m the slightest. By nature, Baji sort of registered you as a small animal worthy of his protection and at least some respect.

He gave you credit where it was due; you were smart and patient with his dumb ass, circling with a pink gel pen where he went wrong, and your neat handwriting next to it with helpful reminders.

He dazed off while he was watching you study. You were just mesmerizing, somehow.

“Why do I have to remember these stupid old guys who’ve been dead for like, a thousand years?” Baji was growing more and more restless as the lesson continued.

You gave a pitiful look, and sighed. “Yeah, it is pretty pointless when you think about it, but,” you grinned, and started a bit of a story time to make the history lesson more enjoyable to sit through. Stringing along stories of these old dead guys of the Edo period as characters (who’s names you repeated often).

Baji seemed to get it, actually. He could follow a good story line.

“So this Nobunagi guy—“ “Nobunaga.” You corrected. “Yeah, whatever, he just decided one day he was gonna just unite japan?”

He was engaging.

Ecstatic, you gave a wide smile and nodded. He was finally retaining something.

After some praise, Baji was content with the work he’d done today. So, when you’d decided to shift your attention back to your own paper so he could do the same, he realized just how tired he was.

The soft strokes of your pencil lead against the smooth paper was like a lullaby lulling him to sleep, as his eyes grew heavier and heavier. Cross armed and head jostled against his left shoulder, Baji Keisuke well asleep in his chair.

You didn’t notice for a while, actually. Not until you heard a soft snore break through the silence of the library. Looking up, you noticed Baji slumped in slumber.

Of corse he was sleepy. You of all people knew this. You were the one keeping him up at night, both with school prep and sentimental thoughts he couldn’t simply swat away.

You let out a soft chuckle before resting your hand on your hand, gazing upon him for a little while.

Longer, you stared. His hair was slicked back, but it was long. You wondered how long, which lead to wondering how he would look if he ditched the nerd cut. He was handsome, from what you could tell. It was a shame he had to hide behind glasses.

You brought up the idea of contacts to him, but he shooed the idea quickly. The curiosity of the subject never peaked your interest like how it was now. Maybe it’s because he looked so vulnerable. While giving a fluttering glance to his lips, you had noticed a very sharp canine. Sure, he smirked and showed off his toothy grin a lot, but you couldn’t help wanting to touch them.

Weirdo.

As minutes passed, you finally couldn’t take the curiosity swimming in your head anymore. Gently—very, gently, you shifted closer to Baji, and slowly grazed your fingers against the plastic rim of his glasses. You pulled the ear pieces back very slightly, so as to not disturb the peaceful sleeper.

This was the first time you had seen Baji Keisuke so vulnerable. Even in class, his eyebrows seemed to always pinch together in annoyance, frustration, boredom, almost all the time. His features were soft… decently long eyelashes, smooth skin pulling over his higher cheekbones.

He was more than handsome, Baji was a pretty boy. You blushed softly at this revelation. On second thought, maybe he did need the glasses. Both of your sanity and his lowkey persona.

You leaned in just a little closer. When you looked closely enough, you could see some slight discoloration. Little scapes that healed over many times. Now that you were paying attention, his knuckles were also a little raw. Dry, and darker than the skin on his hand.

You admired how peaceful he looked, subconsciously leaning closer and closer to get a better look at all his features before he could wake. You didn’t even notice how close you were until you felt Baji’s breath softly exhale against your lips.

You almost wanted to kiss him—

But you didn’t have time to let your brain work the information before Baji started to stir. Panic soon rested in, and you dropped the glasses on the table on top of his study paper before pushing your head down to look very interested in the stupid study packet.

Baji let out a deep baritone groan as he began to stretch his limbs, yawning instinctually. Imagine his surprise when he blinks his eyes awake to notice everything crystal clear, no obstruction on his peripheral vision like he was now used to. He too started to panic, noticing the way his glasses were tossed on his paper. They must have fell off, he reasoned, before quickly scooping them up with lightning speed.

Glancing your way, he feels relief that you seemed too focused on your studies to notice his little blunder. Oh right. Studying. That’s why you two were here in the first place.

Baji groaned once he got a look at his paper. Barely even through the first half of the page. He really did not feel like studying. He needed to get out and warm up the stiffness in his muscles. Maybe Toman had some business to take care of he could take on. The thought excited him.

You glanced his direction once again. The displeased look on Baji’s face was very clear. Even if you were to force him to sit and memorize the useless knowledge, you knew he wouldn’t retain it with the headspace he was swirling in. So in an attempt to act casual, you asked,

“I-it’s seven, so we can head out if you want,” you offered, packing your things premature of the answer. “I’ll treat you to a juice or something from the vending machine in the commons.”

Baji wasn’t one to turn down the chance to ditch the school work Or getting a free juice box.

Not having to ask twice, he dumped all his stuff in his bag with no filing system whatsoever.

“Say, where do you go in such a hurry after school?”

Well, he wasn’t expecting that question from you. Wide eyed and panicked, Baji tried thinking up a quick lie. “I visit. The… pet clinic.” He nodded. Somehow you believed it, or acted like you did at least. A wide close mouthed smile made its way on your face at the confession.

“That’s cute. You really care about animals. Volunteer work?”

Baji grumbled under his breath while looking away with a bashful spread. “Whatever. Guess you could call it that.”

If you considered tracking down clues to find the bastards who were responsible for multiple similar cases like Sango, broken legs or pelvic bones, cigarette burns and such; than sure, he was happy to volunteer.

“Oh yeah,” he suddenly remembered. “Sango. Vet said she only had a week left for recovery. Should be dispatched to a shelter nearby sometime after.”

“A shelter?” You asked in a whisper yell voice, eyes akin to saucers. “But-“ you tried to say something, but it died in your throat before anything else could come out. Your face dropped a little, dejected.

“If you wanna keep her, the vet said it wouldn’t be a problem.” He offered you the peace of advice.

Yet, your downcast eyes seemed to lose their usual playful energy.

What the hell?

“I’m not allowed to own a pet.” You said, almost like the sentence was scripted. “Why not?” Baji asked casually. Though he appeared neutral, he could tell something was off. This might be his chance to infiltrate your exterior.

You glanced his way for only a moment, and he could see the gears turning in your head, filtering what you want to say, to what you will say. “My… parents are allergic.”

You were a good person. He knew this the moment he’d met you. And good people can’t lie for shit, through his experience. “Bullshit—-“ Baji caught himself just after the word slipped, snapping his hand over his mouth once he realized.

You looked up at him with confusion written on your face. “I-I mean, sorry, I didn’t mean for that to come off that way.” He shook his head in defeat. “You ain’t a good liar though, y/n.”

Shifting your eyes downcast again, this time you masked your true face behind a giggle. “Can’t say I didn’t try. It’s not important.” You shook your head, and before Baji could interject, you had already recollected yourself and shifted the attention elsewhere.

“Im on dinner duty tonight, so I’ll go ahead first today.” You smiled brightly as you said this. You’d already handed him his promised juice box. But your smile was fake. You were definitely a bad liar.

“If ya say so. Wait up a sec, ‘ll walk you home,” While Baji worded it as a statement, an order almost, you didn’t take it that way.

“No worries! I can manage.”

Again, before he could intervene, you took off at a brisk pace. Damnit.

Keisuke was trying to be patient with you. But it wasn’t in his nature. “The hell’s her problem?” He whispered with a click of his tongue, before throwing all his shit in his bag and jogging to catch up with you.

But even as he scanned the hallways and school grounds like a hawk, you weren’t to be found. Were you really that quick? No way. Regardless, he did have a Toman meeting. So, after some hesitation, he let the unsettling feeling behind at the school.

He couldn’t know that you’d ducked into an empty classroom and were huddled with your knees to your chest as you stared off into nothing.



[rrenzwrld]

isn’t she lovely?

eren x pregnant! black reader

— the birth of his daughter becomes one of the best days he’s ever lived.

another bs from my notes but i like this concept so i will be adding to it whenever i can

— what to expect, when you’re expecting

Eren spent majority of his life worrying about nobody but himself and what was important to him. For a while, the life of no one else had no meaning if it wasn’t the life himself or the lives of the only two friends he had. That was until he met you. You came into his life all pretty and positive. Not a negative thing about you and he loved that. And that alone made him love everything else about you. Regardless of how you were feeling or what either of you were feeling, you always made sure that no one was upset and you made it your responsibility to have everyone else taken care of before yourself. It was as if you were this magical being sent down to make his life significantly better and he planned to keep you in it.

You were only in his life for two short years until you became pregnant. While Eren freaked out and thought this would ruin both of your lives, you were as happy as you could be. Even though the both of you were fresh into your 20s, your dream of being a mother was strong. From the little age of five playing with small baby dolls, to volunteering to babysit your neighborhood’s children, you were finally at a place in life where you were able to have a child of your own. A real child. A real child with your blood running through their veins and you knew without a doubt that part of them would belong to you.

Eren on the other hand had to figure out a way to tell his parents without disappointing them along with disappointing himself even more than he had.

“My dad is gonna fucking kill me.” He ran his hands through his hair before dragging them back down his face. You rested your head on his shoulder and held onto his arm.

“No he’s not. You’re overreacting.”

“This is a whole baby we’re talking about, Y/n… there’s no way we’ll be able to do this.” His discouragement offended you.

“Well, you can leave,” You started. He turned to you like you said something off the wall.

“What? No, no I’m not leaving so… that’s out of the question.” It made you smile a bit that he wasn’t thinking about leaving you to take care of the baby by yourself. But you had enough spirit to know that you were perfectly capable with or without him.

“We’re not getting rid of her either.” You placed a hand on your belly even though nothing had yet formed to know that you did.

“Her?”

“Yeah, her.” You looked at him and smiled. You kind of hoped your baby would have his eyes… You loved his eyes.

“How do you know it’s a girl?” He raised a brow at you as he took your hand and interlocked his fingers with yours. He was still nervous about having a child at such a young age but if he had anyone else to pick in the world to start his family with, he’d choose you. He’d choose you a thousand times over.

You shrugged. “I just know.”

Turns out, his parents weren’t nearly as angry as he expected them to be. They might have been a little shocked that their youngest son were growing up a lot faster than they expected, but they knew you’d be a wonderful mother and wasn’t at all disappointed that if he were to have a child with anyone, it was with you.

“So you’re not mad?”

“No, your mother and I aren’t mad,” Grisha started.

“Just make sure you take good care of Y/n.” The fact that his mother felt so positively towards you made you happy. There was nothing like a mother’s love, from anywhere, to anywhere, through and through.

“Thank you for your support, Mr. Yaeger.”

After dinner that night, Eren was helping his father with the dishes when more discussion about the pregnancy came up.

“You sure you ready?” Eren didn’t know what to tell his dad now that they were alone to talk about it. “Be honest.”

“No.” Eren put away the dry dishes.

“And why?”

“I’m just, I just don’t think I’m ready to be a dad. And I hate that because I know Y/n will be an amazing mom and I’ll just… suck.”

“You think I knew how to be a dad the day you were born? Hell no. I was terrible. Didn’t even know how to change your diapers until you were six months.” Eren laughed a bit, making him feel better. Making him feel like he wasn’t alone and his fears were validated.

“That does sound pretty bad…”

Grisha scoffed. “And it gets worse… but listen, you’ll be fine.” Grisha dried his hands after the last of the plates to give his full attention to his son. “You’ll learn everything you need to along the way and if you need help, just call us. Alright?”

Eren nodded in understanding. He knew raising a child would be a difficult task but maybe this wouldn’t be as bad as he thought. Maybe they’d be better off than expected.

[thegeminisage]

I have to know about the dead beat ghost of George Kirk, that lit my brain up. Also Spock on Spock violence either/or. both even?

BOTH IS GOOD. tysm. this got so long don't worry about reading this entire answer lol <3

ok, so, spock on spock violence is a fanfic i conceived when i was deep in the throes of trek last autumn. but i had to wait until i had watched EVERYTHING with nimoy's spock in it before i could begin working on it, and by the time i got there, the steam sort of ran out of my engines. so i'm not sure if it'll ever get done at this point, especially considering i sort of veered back into working on something else. anyway, to general concept of this is - while it's very sweet that in the movies and in real life quinto spock and nimoy spock are friends, it's also. love and light. a little boring. i think that really, spock is an individual who is in many ways at war with himself, and when asked the age-old question "would you fight your clone or fuck him?" would unequivocally choose FIGHT every time

the very basic plot of the fic (which is really just a flimsy excuse for spock and spock to be petty cut-throat bitches at each other) is that post stid quinto spock has been traumatized by 1. the death of his mother 2. the death of his planet 3. the death of his boyfriend (hi, jim) and he's decided to break up with jim and do a kohlinahr so he doesn't have to feel grief anymore (and, with his longer vulcan lifespan, never has to watch jim die) because this shit is killing him. jim thinks this is stupid and nimoy spock also thinks this is stupid so nimoy spock and quinto spock spend a great deal of time hurling insults at one another about it.

there is also a side plot that very vaguely cribs from the tos episode "what are little girls made of?" wherein people are getting replaced by androids, and at one point, quinto spock is tempted by a jim android, because, after all:

an android jim never has to suffer! he never has to die! spock could have and love his boyfriend FOREVER AND EVER and never have to fear the pain of loss ever again! that will totally work and fix everything with absolutely zero problems, right?

since i don't actually have any prose written for this yet, i will provide an excerpt from my notes, edited slightly for clarity:

to quinto spock, nimoy spock is a living example of his every failure and his worst fears. he gave up the good fight against his own internal humanity, he TOOK A HUMAN MATE (gross!), and he allowed/indirectly caused vulcan to be destroyed. nimoy spock, old and at the end of his life, has no one. he's been mourning his jim for longer than they were ever together. the only thing he knows is the unbearable pain of grief. quinto spock fears this kind of pain more than anything. he thinks he is seeing his own future and he is desperate to prevent it via any means possible, even the kolinahr - this timeline can be different, right?

to nimoy spock, quinto spock is a living example of the very worst and most cowardly parts of himself, and wastes all the precious opportunities he has - he makes nimoy spock sick with envy. quinto spock has SO many years left to spend with jim and he's going to WASTE them just because he's afraid of what life will be like without him. worse, he's hurting the person nimoy spock loved most by pushing him away, and it's all his own (nimoy spock's) fault because vulcan was kind of his bad. by allowing vulcan to be destroyed he has ruined not only his future, but also his past. quinto spock is destroying himself from the inside over his misguided prejudice over his own humanity, and his internalized xenophobia or whatever, and he's too young and too stupid to see that the only way to get through it is to GO through it, and he won't listen to the one person he should trust above all others (himself) because he HATES HIMSELF, that's his/their whole problem

like, imagine your entire deal is self-loathing and an abject refusal to accept both halves of your extremely internally conflicted being. and then suddenly there's another version of yourself who can stand next to you, who can be blamed and yelled at (possibly punched?), who is somehow doing an EVEN WORSE JOB at being you than you already are!!!!! you have to watch this other you make mistakes so massive even YOU wouldn't do them and you guys are supposed to NOT fight somehow??

ultimately, this is a fic about confronting grief and pain rather than running away from it, but it also morphed into a kind of fix-it for generations (the movie where kirk bites it in the most underwhelming death scene ever) which turned it into a very full project because those two things are a bit at odds with each other, so i had to reoutline it, but the outline IS all ready to go, i just...haven't gotten around to it yet because i'm working on the other project. i haven't given up on it though!!!

deadbeat ghost of george kirk is essentially a story about how completely useless it is to have a ghost for a dad. not a literal ghost, it's not that kind of story, but despite how affecting the opening of the 2009 movie is, we have to contend with the sad reality that if you grow up without a dad there is a high risk of simply becoming chris pine's kirk. like, that's why he's like that, right? hard truths. i only have about 800 words of this and it's quite likely it will never be finished or posted, but every time someone says something horrible to me in real life about my dead dad (happens more often than you think) i add another rage-fueled paragraph. an excerpt (content warning for child abuse and suicidal ideation):

What's so heroic about it, anyway? Jim's dad didn't die to save eight hundred lives; he died to save two, and counted the other seven hundred ninety-eight as a happy bonus. And what became of those two people? His mother a chronically offworld functional alcoholic, married to a chronically on-world nonfunctional alcoholic, whose favorite hobby is hitting his wife's sons with his belt and whose second favorite hobby is seeing which bones he can break with his steel-toed boots. Jim himself, sent to the hell that was Tarsus IV for driving a car off a cliff, who at eleven years old had already been jaded enough to consider just going off the cliff with it. Would George Kirk do it again the same way, if he could somehow know how the world turned without him in it? Would he think it was a fair trade? Either the answer is no and he was an idiot who threw away his life for nothing, or the answer is yes and he was an asshole. Either way, it hardly amounts to heroism. What good is a dead father to anybody? They can't turn up at the school play or the track meets. They can't teach you to tie a tie or throw a punch at bullies or slip you your first beer or bring you birthday gifts. You can't give a Father's Day card to an empty grave, not if you're saying anything true. All the cards say things like Thanks for being there for me, Dad!, and all Jim knows about his father is that there is the one place he wasn't. See, Jim has been in space, which is quite literally the absence of everything. He's also been on Tarsus IV, a planet where people got so hungry they started hacking limbs off of corpses to soothe the absolute absence of food in their stomach. And yet, for all that, the absence of George Kirk is the keenest absence he's ever known.

let people send you an ask with the WIP title that most intrigues them, and then post a little snippet or tell them something about it!

[sscarletvenus]

Lookism JJK au, your thoughts?

HIIII VENVEN😁😁😁

also very disorganized and brief brainrot-esque parallels and thoughts about lookism x jjjk ahead (JUST FOR FUN. these are pixels and it's not that serious 😭) :

. yamazaki, kageroi, cheonliang are like the great clans. the provinces in south korea from where the four crews, allied, ansan public, etc. belong are like the various jujutsu tech schools.

. charles choi is a sorcerer who lives long enough to become a corrupt exploitative higher up.

. the workers orchestrate the culling games.

. gapryong as toji, geniuses, he who must not be named type character, dead in the first act, haunting the fuck out of the narrative, changing the trajectory of people's lives, phantom of the past and apparition of the future.

. gapryong also as toji because he is a broke deadbeat who is despised by his children!

. daniel park as yuuji itadori. little miss sunshine in a world full of horrors. being hunted for sport by those in power. the final piece in dismantling a corrupt system. emo boys estranged from their families are in love with them and would die for them. all they have ever loved keeps turning into stone. important familial ties that are the crux of their stories.

. jay as megumi fushiguro. deep suicidal ideation, has never won an idgaf war in the face of love, daddy ruined their life, sister genuinely cares but is ultimately powerless in reversing their fates, dripped TF out, actually very powerful, hated by their respective creators

. gun as gojo satoru. like the balance in the yakuza shifted after his birth. the power gun inherits is a burden to him but he also loves being the sole one to possess it.

. he and the world around him are separated by an impermeable barrier, the boundary between the weak and the strong. he enjoys enacting violence upon his enemies just for the thrill of fighting, just for the sake of knowing he is the strongest, and also since it is the only time he realises he exists as a real person. the strong existing on the pinnacle of a lonely mountain (throughout heaven and earth, i alone am the honored one)

. he has great, unparalleled power, but can hardly connect with others. he isn't treated as a teenager when he's young, and he's hardly seen as a mortal. he is treated with derision and resentment by almost everyone.

. gun as gojo also because of. eye horror. seeks a warrior's death as freedom and release from their solitude.

. jinyoung would probably be like choso. clear thinker who isn't very emotional until it involves their family. values family and brotherhood a lot. capable of cruelty and profound vengefulness, but also monstrous indifference towards what isn't important to them. is a parental figure toward a younger child whom they care a lot about.

. goo and kinji hakari. a very self-absorbed individual who doesn't confirm to societal morals and traditions. doesn't perceive isolation that comes from being powerful. doesn't suffer from loneliness. has a strong mindset and clear goals. living their best life. very questionable allies.

. also would love to parallel gun and goo with hakari and sukuna, respectively. hakari spares his opponents while sukuna destroys them. gun nurtures talents while goo uproots them.

. gitae is also like sukuna, if you think about it. selfish, cold-hearted, immoral, and exceptionally sadistic. has committed parricide. wants an younger relative dead. eyes with such lunacy, you will only see them in eastern european snuff films.

. james lee and kenjaku, because identity theft is a competition and they are winning. impossible to tell their real age. act as a perfect foil to the main character and their ideals. slay, but traumatizing.

. GETO AND JAKE. HEAR ME OUT. pleasepleaseplease. firstly because MOTHER. secondly, there is a certain darkness and fluidity about the way they're written.

. family-oriented and self-sacrificial. empathetic and charming. entire friend group in love with them. graceful and gentle. REEK OF YIN SYMBOLISM. unhealthy coping mechanisms to their respective situations, and have a tendency to isolate themselves. very insane psychotic mentally disturbed but those details are somehow ALWAYS overlooked and oversimplified. very gnc coded. a reason behind their downfall and unravelling is the existence of a very powerful man, and their damning association with said man. did i mention being irrevocably in love with their best friend?

. jake's big deal and suguru's cult.... hmmm... i feel like the possibility of all those possibilities being possible is just another possibility that can possibly happen!!! influential girlbosses that people folk to!

. samuel is so naoya-esque. obsessed with powerful men who don't know don't gaf about him. my fav delulu.

. mary as yuki!!!!! perhaps stronger than the one considered to be the strongest...

. ELI AS YUUTA-[i get dragged from the podium and thrown in quicksand]

. jichang being very very nanami coded not only because of the aesthetic but also because the impact of their death on the main character...

. VASCO AND TODO. literally the realest people around the main character (not elaborating further)

. vin and maki. their metamorphosis from a bug being trampled upon to venomous insects, catalyzed by the injustice and abuse suffered by the people closest to them, horrible family, physical appearance portrayed as an element of monstrosity,

. LMFAO JAY BEING INUMAKI TYPE OF CURSE USER IS A VERY REAL POSSIBILITY TOO

. johan and kashimo because of the nuclear hazard levels of crumpled receipt wet sock energy

. the shaman(shinmyung cheon) as naobita zenin. the REAL naoya would definitely be taejin!

. so that makes samuel higuruma. impeccable dilf divorced dad of three vibes radiated by these two.

. LUA IS SO VERY NOBARA CODED. YOU WON’T GET IT BUT I DO.

. jiho's presence in this au would be like riko's or junpei's. definitely not comparing him to riko. NEVER. just the way his existence wreaks irreversible damage to the main characters. also the transformation into a monster bit for junpei??? THAT'S juvie jiho. jake takes his darkness as a catalyst for hate and revenge. he toys with jiho and feeds his hatred... he doesn't complete his metamorphosis quite because jiho is weak, and that's his tragedy!!!

. this is so badly written im ctfu but if you read up to this point thank you!!!! much appreciated

[frostcorpsclub]

Suzy’s birth sounds like it should have been a fairytale.

Xavier, Suzy’s father was a progressive man for his social circle and the time period. He was not at all threatened by his wife’s intimidating nature and permanent scowl, in fact. It was one of the things that attracted him to her. She in turn was attracted to his boyish charm and the fact he could snark it up with her. The two felt as if they were different, more in touch than the rest of their peers. It was just Xavier and Eloise against the world.

Two ridiculously rich parents who were truly in love with each other is a recipe for a happy and healthy childhood. The only issue is Suzy’s birth came along and fucked it all up.

One dream that Xavier had, however, was to be a father. He didn’t know if he’d be good at it but that didn’t really matter. Eloise was the one built for that kind of thing, right? He would have a lot of fun with his mini me. Whoever they turned out to be. These were not notions that his wife shared.

Eloise is a fundamentally cynical person. Ironically, she was a daddy’s girl as her future daughter would be, and her father taught her that giving in to your emotions will always lead you to ruin.

She wishes she had listened to him, but she didn’t.

Xavier always spoke so sweetly about his dreams for their family, he stroke her ego, even though Eloise herself knew very well that she would not be as good of a role model as he thought she would. Despite his soft hearted intentions, it was all together selfish, the most selfish being the fact that he looked forward to a sense of pride. That would come from making a family, more loving and stable than his own.

Eloise’s pregnancy was perfectly normal. She did not enjoy feeling hormonal and vulnerable, she enjoyed her cravings for seafood, she enjoyed the abundance of affection from her husband, she did not enjoy not fitting in her clothes.

Most of all she did not like thinking about the baby.

A baby shower is a social event like any other, an opportunity for networking and reputation. She was able to grin and bear through that, ignoring the assurances that she would have a new attitude once the baby came.

Maybe she would even smile!

This did not happen.

Eloise never had a mother to look up to, no way to try to try. Her mother died in childbirth but she heard many stories. A Scottish noble woman with fiery curls, hyper independent.

They say with her dying breath she cursed the bloodline of the man who infected her womb, and her life.

Eloise didn’t believe in such superstitions, and Muriel wasn’t a witch. Sometimes people just get very very unlucky.

5 whole years were spent with Xavier falling deeper in love with his life’s purpose.

If she was not the child’s mother she might have admired his dedication, but she was. She was the one burdened with knowledge and truth. The one who had to watch as Suzy developed in to someone who scared her.

From a young age Suzy did not play well with other kids. She pulled hair, threw things, screamed, bloody murder. Which are all very normal little kid things. The problem is that when she stopped doing these things, she started doing worse. She hit all her milestones in a timely manner, some early even, and it showed in the way that she mastered two faces. But most of the time her father took up the defense for her.

Those brutes in the hunting club treated their dogs so cruelly how could Suzy know better than what she had observed?

She’s a little girl, they have accidents, being held by you doesn’t make her bladder any bigger!

Who could believe that their little girl was the one who pushed the Livingston boy down the stairs, broke his neck, and understood implicitly that it.… well not that it was wrong but that the adults would be very upset if they found him. Who knew to hide him where it would look like an accident. Even if it was, boys play rough and he only needs the wheelchair a few months! That brute took the toy from a little girls hand and Suzy was still oh so upset on his behalf!

What kind of mother are you Eloise?

Suzette’s mother spent many nights when her husband was away crying in to her pillow. He left her with love notes and called her before she slept every night, but she still felt as though she was losing him.

Like she was losing herself.

She understood why it was so hard for him to believe her, she didn’t want any of this but she wanted to be able to turn a blind eye like he could. They had their fights but even when it would become a screaming match and Xavier would look at her like SHE was the monster, he would still get in bed that night and hold her tight.

He did justify her own actions to her as much as he justified their daughters.

And things with Suzy weren’t always hell. Even though Eloise was never warm to her daughter, even before it was clear that things were out of the ordinary.

When she didn’t leave her with a nanny or a teacher some activities Suzy would ruin out of boredom but others, for some reason or another, seemed to capture her attention.

They would go to museums together and look at the art, Eloise would speak to Suzy like she was grown-up and not in the usual way that was accusatory and resentful. Suzy would play in the children’s area calmly. She would happily show her mother the dresses that she would put on the dolls. When it was time to go, she nestled in her mother’s lap in the backseat of the car and fell blissfully asleep.

Eloise would stroke her hair the whole ride home, thinking about the fact that her usual behavior would soon continue, and there was only one common denominator.

Like any billionaire, Xavier inherited a good chunk of his fortune and the rest he made through the business he also inherited, further though he took advantage of the fact that the banks could get away with most anything.

It was no secret amongst their social circle, everyone does it, what’s the problem?

I won’t get in to the finer details as it’s not really important, but Eloise kind of did something good for once (all things considered as a rich person) and turned her husband in. Xavier is rich and powerful but Eloise, even as a woman in this time period, was moreso on account of her birth.

A scapegoat was needed, plus he was guilty. So Xavier ended up in prison from the time Suzy was 5 years old until she was a mother of 14. But that’s a story for another day.

[mrsfrecklesmarauders]

"You know, ever since you came out of my womb, everyone thought you would be great. The perfect Heir. The pride of the family. Your grandfather's legacy..." Walburga shook her head "I didn't" she added "Everytime I looked into your eyes, I knew you would be a disappointment. You started being an insufferable problem to all of us, even from a young age... You don't make things easy for us, do you? You can't just simply stay put. You have to be the bloody center of attention"

"Shame, Walburga. It was your doing. You made me" Sirius spat, trying to swallow his tears. "You shouldn't have opened your legs for father, then"

It didn't hurt. It couldn't hurt. He didn't care.

"And it was an awful mistake" Walburga snapped "I never thought I would have a son so reckless and violent! Look at what you just did, you hit your father"

"Well, he did a lot of hitting himself"

Walburga ignored him, she nodded towards the floor where a large bag was waiting near Sirius’s feet "Maybe it is better if you just disappear"

Sirius tried to find some sort of remorse in his mother's eyes. Some sort of proof that what she saying was hurting her, or realizing that she was hurting him. A little tiny trace of love or affection towards him.

But there was nothing. Walburga's eyes, the shame shade of gray, just like his, didn't show any emotion. They were empty. Her expression was determined.

Whoever said mothers had infinite love for their children, that they would never stop loving them no matter what, was a bloody liar.

Sirius realized then that his own mother didn't love him. Not even a tiny bit. He might've expect it from Orion. Or his Uncle Cygnus. Or even his Grandfather.

But a mother is supposed to love you no matter what, right? Maybe not.

"I really hate you, Walburga" Sirius’s voice shook and his eyes filled with tears. But not sad tears. Tears of pure fury. "I really wish you weren't my mother"

"Oh darling, but I am" she chanted in a mocking way.

How could she stay firm? Didn't she have feelings?

"Unfortunately" she added.

"Yeah, unfortunately!" Sirius leaned to say very clearly "Go fuck yourself, mother!"

Sirius grabbed the bag he had prepared from the floor. He might've had bruises and cuts across his face. But nothing hurt like his heart. Nothing hurt like this.

If his own fucking mother didn't love him? Who would? Who?

"It's better if you don't come near this house for a while" Walburga talked as Sirius walked to the door "And I won't let you ruin your brother's life as well".

Sirius stopped on his tracks. Reggie.

"I would make sure you stay away from him, if I have any power on it. You're a bad influence for him and his mental health"

Sirius turned and looked up. Regulus was looking from the top of the stairs. Tears on his eyes. Hands into a tight fist. He froze when Sirius noticed him. But he didn't do anything. He paced back even. Afraid. Like a coward.

If Regulus was a depressive wanker that wanted to stay in this hell hole, Sirius couldn't do anything about it.

Sirius shouldn't feel guilty about leaving.

Regulus was a traitor. Running to his mummy with the gossip about Remus. A filthy little traitor.

"Don't worry about it" Sirius spat "He's not my brother anymore"

With the determination he had left, Sirius walked out of Grimmauld Place. And he hoped it would be forever.

[lilxsturniolo1xx]

Its what i do.

pairing: Matt x Reader

Ive been ignoring matt for a few days now, not because hes done anything wrong or im annoyed at him, its actually the complete opposite. i found myself falling for him, but he cant know that, itll ruin him. ill ruin him. He doesnt deserve that, hence why ive ignored him, im pushing him away. Since i was a child i grew up in a rough household, one of which no one knew how to communicate, ending in screaming matches to get your point across. From a young age i have been degraded by my own family.

"no one wants you, not even us!" My dad used to say, his stone-cold eyes peircing deep into my soul as the venom of his words seep into my brain. replaying over and over again.

"your just not good enough." My mother would say, shrugging her shoulders and flicking the ash from her cigarette into my dads empty beer can.

After hearing that day in, day out, on repeat it does something to you. Well, it did something to me. It made me hate myself. Whenever someone tried to get close to me id shut them down, thinking it was a sick joke, as my mother said ' im just not good enough'.

So when i found out i had feelings for matt, i locked myself away. Scared of me slipping up infront of him just for him to tell me what ive been hearing my whole life, because with matt it felt different. I felt safe. So hearing them words come out of his mouth would've broke me. This is how i made sure i would never have to hear them.

Ive been hearing my phone go crazy all day, every time i check it, i see matts message popping up on my screen, i then shut my phone off to ignore him, somewhat scared of messaging him. until i finally have the courage to open the messages, and by this time, ive had 13 notifications. All from him.

Fuck.

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck!

Hes coming here, now! what do i do. panicked, i rushed and put some half-decent clothes on, and a slight bit of makeup to make me look less dead. As i sat on my bed, thoughts rushing through my brain as i twiddled my thumbs somewhat scared of even going on my phone, i heard three knocks on my front door. Matts here. Frozen, i just sat there and ignored the door hoping hed give up and go away. Then i remembered, hes got a fucking key!

i hear the twist of my lock and footsteps coming into my house, followed by my name being called. Once again, i ignore him.

Maybe he'll think no ones home and leave. i thought to myself, asif i didnt know Matt Sturniolo like the back of my hand.

He began walking up the stairs and i was still sat there, like a statue. I dont even know why i didnt just tell him to go away or something, my body wasnt moving despite how much i tried, i was stuck In some sort of trance, that was until i heard a rattle of my bedroom door handle.

a/n: Hey! sorry leaving you on a cliffhanger like this but it was getting way too long but pt2 will be out soon, i hope you like this one anyway😊xx

[gyrovagi]

4 15 and 42? for dak-wai orrr all of your rooks :3c

ty!! (from this post)

4. Which faction did they join, and why? How long has it been?

before meeting varric, dak-wai had been a grey warden for a little over 4 years. they'd been living/having an existential crisis in a village in the anderfels for two years prior, struggling to find a reason to stay alive and unable to shake the feeling that their attempts to do anything other than Kill Things were just clumsy play-acting. it wasn't particularly surprising that they caught the attention of patrolling grey wardens while helping repel a darkspawn raid. they gladly joined the order to try and find a purpose in protection, thinking of themself now as a shield instead of a weapon, which definitely is 100% healthy and solved all their problems forever

ha-neul had a long-standing interest in magic since he was young, having a lot of exposure to magic/interaction with mages as the younger child of a noble caste family with long-standing trade ties to minrathous. he led a very privileged life and was fascinated by this part of the world that he could as a Rule Of Nature never have access to. despite his family's discouragement, this naturally branched out into an interest in elven history and ruins. which then led him to running away from home and, for most of his 20s, nearly getting killed trying to explore arlathan forest. the nascent veil jumpers were the only organization interested in these expeditions, and by far the best way to ensure you didn't get killed by traps or demons in the process, so his joining up was motivated by self-preservation as much as anything. his real philosophical alignment with the faction is... questionable, but he's found friends among its people.

orpheus and yazmin did not really have a choice in the matter lmfao, orpheus was found by skeletons as an infant, yaz was orphaned by trevelyan machinations and then bought by the crows as a child. orpheus has never really analyzed all that, he thinks he leads a charmed life. yaz thinks her life in the crows is better than many worse alternatives and she's fucking good at it. she knows it's not the life her mother would have wanted for her, but well, mom's dead. her desires can't change anything now.

15. What’s the first thing people notice when Rook enters a room?

dak-wai is 7 ft tall, taking the broken horns into account, and goes everywhere in warden uniform, so honestly. what Don't people notice. their lack of reaction to the attention might actually be what stands out - they stand with a soldier's posture, and never acknowledge looks or whispers, just moving with purpose.

yaz shouldn't be noticed entering a room unless she wants to be - but someone paying attention would notice her habit of quickly assessing entries and exits and positioning herself with her back to a wall and clear lines of sight.

ha-neul enters every room like he assumes he's welcomed, with a friendly smile that could almost make you overlook the very visible scars. orpheus has terrible posture and gravitates towards any objects that look shiny or interesting

42. Something Rook regrets:

as a rule, ha-neul doesn't see the point of regret 🤷‍♂️.

orpheus is my only rook who regrets his Faction Background Incident - life in the mourn watch is the only life he's ever known, the order and its ideals mean a lot to him, and the idea that he Beefed It enough to get technically unofficial disapproval is really troubling to him. he's 20.

dak-wai would have a hard time finding something specific to regret. they wish the period of their life between ages 17-21 hadn't happened, but that's not really something they had control over, and they try to keep moving forward and avoid dwelling on it. during the events of the game, they regret what happened at weisshaupt, and they're probably going to spend years wondering if there was any way it could've been prevented. if they could've gotten through to the first warden earlier, if there was a better plan. no logic is going to get through the sheer depth of grief wrapped up there

yazmin... owain found out about her existence and reached out about 4 years ago. despite her better judgment, she agreed to meet him. it took about two minutes for her to yell at him and storm out. he sent another letter afterwards saying that if she ever did want to speak with him he'd always be willing. she doesn't know what she should have done instead, but she gets so fucking mad both at him and herself every time she remembers it

[fullofgutsndopamine]

Flowers In The Passenger Seat (Taken Out Of Context)

or: part of the big brother!hasan universe

or or: talking hasan off the ledge when anxiety is bad

“i’m afraid i’m going to ruin her life,” he whispers, his voice is tight and his forehead pressed against yours, “Fuck it up instead of make it better.”

tw/cursing, mention of anxiety, mention of past physical abuse (not graphic, but talks about scars), toxic masculinity, catholic guilt, implied verbal/physical abuse

series master list here

(not required reading, but you might enjoy it if you like this)

hasan comes out, in his true form, between 2am-5am.

his voice is deep with sleep, borders on slurring, heavy eye kids from a double shift at the shop, grease stains that never come out of his hands, night classes finished (“makin a better life for us, sunshine’” he’ll insist to his tiny shadow clinging to his belt loops as he picks her up from the library, running to keep up with his long strides.)

she’s too young to understand what a better life could possibly be, especially because she thinks this is the better life, by hasan's side, but she nods and repeats it back, (“a better life!” she’ll giggle to his side, her tiny fingernails dig into his denim, too thin for the cold winter, but he’d rather spend the money on her, even if it goes into new school uniform shirts she needs or holy fuck she needs new shoes already?!)

“Hasan-“ sleep finds you, easily. especially with him curled into your side, his head buried deep into the crook of your neck, imagines he’s sticking his head into the sand, a: la la la as he ignores all the real life problems he has. because with you, the real life problems aren’t nearly as bad.

he talks first.

“i’m afraid i’m going to ruin her life,” he whispers, his voice is tight and his forehead pressed against yours, “Fuck it up instead of make it better.”

“Hasan,” you sigh, turning over to face him, to put your finger under his chin, make him look at you, his eyes are misty and his face has tear streaks on it, like he was torturing himself before he finally spoke, bared his bones to you. “You’re doing good, what’s this about?” you whisper, press his forehead against yours.

“What if i fuck her up?” he whimpers. “Like our parents fucked me up-“

“hasan, you aren’t a fuck up-“

he doesn’t talk about the past much. prefers to leave it in the past. little bits come out; talks about his childhood with this hard look on his face his “before Amelie” times and “after Amelie” times, he’ll say, “when things got better. Made sense.”

you’ve seen the scars that liter his body, curve and twist in every angle on his back, white with age; only making an appearance as he mows the lawn in the hot summer, or when the boss is out of the shop and he’s working on a car by himself- “less people,” he mutter, before his eyes get dark, “less questions.”

He’s crying now, into your shoulder blade, like when he was a kid and buried his head into his mothers apron strings, hiding himself, always trying to make himself smaller, even then-because making yourself smaller meant less problems, less eyes on you-

“hasan,” you hush him gently, the pad of your thumb goes over his cheek, wiping away the tears gently, “you are doing amazing-“

“you have to say that” he sniffles his voice muffled from inside your shoulder blade.

“hasan,” you sigh, “I don’t have to say shit. Amelie adores you. she talks about you non stop.”

silence. only his sniffling is heard.

“Just cause she’s talkin’ ‘bout me doesn’t mean i’m doin’ good.” he finally settles on.

hasan is stubborn. probably the most stubborn person you’ve ever met.

and he isn’t the perfect guardian. even he knows that. there’s nights he has to take deep breaths, remind himself that she doesn’t get it, when she stomps her tiny foot at him, jabs her finger into his leg, “I hate you.” she’ll declare.

and even though it’s coming from a five year old-it still fucking hurts, right?

“You don’t mean it.” he’ll insist. swallowing hard to get rid of the tears that threaten to fall in front of her.

“Yeah!” she’ll say again, “you’re the reason mama and pa are gone!”

and she doesn’t get it.

she’s young. too young to understand the truth behind what happened, it being for the best, only knows secondhand stories.

“You made Pa leave!” she’ll say again, and on those days, the worst days, he doesn’t even think about doing what happened to him, stuck black and blue sobbing into a corner for hours on end, alone. (“be a man, for once in your pathetic fucking life, hasan.”)

“You don’t mean it, sunshine.” he’ll say again, his voice is low, raspy.

“Yeah-huh!” shell insist, her face bright red as fat tears fall down. “and-“

and before she can say it again, he brings her closer. a tight hug, squeezes her tight against his belly-

“hasan, no.” she’ll try again, but he’s already on his knees in front of her, like he’s begging for forgiveness from her, like all those years in church until his knees were bloody and scarred-

he doesn’t listen. Grabs her closer, squeezes her tighter. doesn’t let go. never let’s go.

Blows raspberries on her neck and cheeks, her belly, until she’s finally laughing, the words she said to him earlier gone.

he’s stubborn. almost as stubborn as she is.

You groan, but take his hair into your hands, gently pulling at his hair, tiny little fistfuls, the only way sleep can find him some days, and instantly, a sigh comes out of him, like some pressure was released from him.

“She talks about you,” you say gently, “like you put the stars in the sky. it’s annoying. and endearing-“

he huffs, opens his mouth and he’s about to interrupt him but you continue first-

“And last week?” you continue, “when she had that night terror? what happened?”

and you pause, making him finish, his voice defeated because he knows you’re right, knows your the voice of reason, won’t stop until he talks-

“I just went to check on her-“ he says, his voice gruff.

“hasan you shot out of bed,” you sigh, “Like, my eyes weren’t even all the way open and you were sliding across the floor to her. had her calmed down in the time it took me to walk across the floor.”

“That’s what big brothers do.” he says gently, remembers his mama bringing her home, a small bundle of blankets that cooed at him the second she looked at him, his mother crouched down next to hasan, holding the bundle up in the air, her voice goes through his head: “This is your sister, hasan. You take care of her. That’s what big brothers do.”

time has passed. time made him rough around the edges, wouldn’t fit in the same hole he did when he was younger, when everything was still good and his Pa had a job and a reason to get out of the house-

time passed. he’s rougher around the edges, thought it would be him and Amelie against the world, terrified that the world would make her rough, make her hate everything -make him hate her-the idea keeps him up most nights.

“Exactly,” you pull him down to earth gently, “And you’re doing amazing. Seriously, she turned out great and that’s because of you, hasan.”

he sniffles.

a small voice in his doorway, hard to see, only an outline, holds a stuffed bunny but the ear, is practically falling off, patches on top of patches that sapnap has had to sew, then sew again in the dark of the night, poking his finger and cursing under his breath as the needle stabs at him. (“Carrots,” He’d say, the first day he presented her with him after her first top real nightmare, “kept me safe and now he’ll do the same for you.”)

“hasan?” the voice calls gently, is quiet, timid.

“Sunshine’?” Hasan scoots up on his elbows until he’s sitting up in bed, “It’s late, what’re you doin’ up?”

“Can’t sleep,” She whimpers, “The wind is too loud.”

he laughs, some ease to it.

“C’mon, sunshine’,” he says, turns over to turn the bedside light on, “There’s a spot for ya right here.”

and she giggles, runs full speed to the side of the bed until he smiles, leans down and picks her up by her armpits and sets her in the middle of you and him.

she immediately curls into his neck, his fingers laced around yours and he brings your hand to his mouth to kiss the top of it.

“Story, hasan.” Amelie giggles into his side and because you love to tease him too, you gasp:

“Yeah, hasan! story.”

he rolls his eyes, “I ain’t much of a storyteller.” he’ll say every-time, his face pink, like he’ll be able to get out of it.

“C’mon,” Amelie will prod at him, “Story, hasan.”

and he’ll sigh, like he doesn’t love it.

“Alright,” he’ll sigh, plays with the ends of your hair gently, his kid in his side, her bony knees in his side, “fine. Close your eyes. “

and you’ll both obey, even though he wasn’t talking to you; gives a messy kiss to Amelie’s forehead, “Let’s see,” he sighs, “Okay. Once upon a time-“

and you settle in, because he doesn’t tell stories often, so you’ll indulge yourself into this, let his voice lull you to sleep, the way his voice goes up and down with the stories, with new plot hooks and when a new character comes in, they get a distinct voice.

you her and hasan, “the way it should be.” he’d smile as he drives his truck to work in the morning, a prayer to get it to start, chugs loudly around to drop you off at work, Amelie to your side, him down the road at the shop.

because this is his little family. made it himself, found it himself.

[m4ndysk4nkovich]

fiona gallagher and debbie gallagher.

something i’ve noticed in the shameless fandom is that some (a lot of) people hate debbie and love fiona, and others hate fiona and love debbie. what honestly confuses me is why more people don’t love them both so much?

so, to start off- they both share three important things about their characters. grew up/matured far too quickly, constantly self-destruct, and are the only girls. these three things make it so that they’re more similar, but also make it so that they are always fighting with eachother and the fandom is always putting them against eachother.

in fiona’s case, she had no choice but to grow up too quickly. actually, that’s the case for every gallagher, but especially her, since she was first, and the second that lip was born (when she was 5) she became a mother. she had no choice, it was either raise her siblings, or let them die. she further started self-destructing by having sex at a young age, and once she started doing that she did it frequently, to the point where she connected it to her worth. she got into toxic relationships, and jumped from relationship to relationship without every catching a break (that’s a direct quote from shameless) and throughout the show, fucks herself over whenever things are going well. for example, going on a bender while on probation. and, a lot of the people who hate her (irl and in the show) are misogynist’s or people who don’t bother to understand her well enough to hate her.

in debbie’s case, she grew up too fast also not by choice, except there came a point where she started to mature quicker on purpose when she no longer needed to act 23 at 13. one of her first lines is, “you’re almost nine, carl. you’re going to need to start pulling your weight.” she’s a year older than him so clearly she has already done her part and stepped up, and throughout the first two seasons you see her acting so mature, yet so childish. she goes from kidnapping a child to innocently playing with a baby doll and naming her “gin-gin”. then, there comes a point where fiona has taken legal guardianship of the kids, and has a good job. she has an opportunity to relax, but she doesn’t. debbie is traumatized, and abandoned, and scared, so she confides in the comfort she’s seen work for her older sister, older guys. she dresses a certain way, sleeps with a twenty year old guy (whatever your thoughts are on that situation doesn’t matter in this case), and ends up getting herself pregnant and carrying the child to term. this is all pure self-destruction. then she continues to self-destruct, ruining friendship’s, relationship’s, even her bond with her family members. all of her hurt and trauma from childhood led her straight into the depths of hell. and what’s one of the major reasons she’s hated in the show and in real life? you guessed it! because she’s a woman. and like her sister, another reason she’s hated is because people refuse to read into her character and only see what’s on the surface.

fiona and debbie are two hurt girls who didn’t recieve enough love and so they self-destructed. but, do you want to know the most ironic thing? that’s what every single gallagher ever has done.

frank is a drunk and a drug addict who never bothered to attempt to recover, even when it was for his kids, and even when it was for himself.

lip is an alcoholic who has purposefully ruined his relationships and his schooling just because. he, unlike his father, has tried to recover, but fails.

ian also ruins his relationships to destruct himself, and like his sisters, starting having sex with older guys at a young age. we even see him burn himself “just to feel something”. in ian’s case, though, he gets a happy ending. not everybody really gets that.

carl doesn’t self-destruct as much, but at one point with kelly, he did. he gave up on west point, he gave up on becoming a cop, he gave up on everything and just decided to work at fast food until the alcoholism, substance abuse, and mental illness came to him.

liam honestly didn’t get the time to destruct himself… he was so young throughout the entire show. however, there was that part where he found this potential family for him that were all black and related to monica, and he felt seen by them. but then he robbed them all and ruined it. i’m not sure this really counts as much, though.

but the boys never get as much criticism, because why would they. they’re boys.

fiona and debbie should feel more connected. when fiona leaves, debbie takes on her role and tries to hold everything together, but instead, everything falls apart. debbie has really always wanted to be like fiona, and i always see people on tiktok saying “debbie’s really trying to be fiona💀” and shit, but it’s honestly true, she is like her. just not in the best ways.

anyways, that’s my rant. i have more to say but this is all that’s really important.

[tsuki-sennin]

"ppl who celebrate character birthdays are annoying pass it on"

FUCK this post, and Happy Birthday Neon Kurama~! ...right, so you know it's all gonna go horribly wrong, but she's our friend! We support her!

Spoilers, I guess...

-What a massive L the Jyamato have taken.

-Garden Grandpa has become Construction Grandpa!

-OOOOOOOH

-Oh hey Daichi. Just sorta hangin' around, huh?

-I don't blame you tbh, I'd be sitting on my ass too.

-April 4th! That's two days from now!

-:)

-Happy Basuday~!

-...:(

-They kidnapped the poor girl on her birthday.

-"What do you even get the Celebrity 'It' Girl who has everything? ...aside from loving parents, treatment like a normal human being, a boyfriend who isn't over twice her age, and a break from creepy weirdos on the internet?"

-...three, five, and seven, huh?

-Keiwa's just totally numb to all of Ace's... Ace-iness.

-Toro, toro!

-It's a Toreador! Just like the ones referenced in that indie horror game from 2014! Octodad: Dadliest Catch!

-...is this just the Seito/Touto proxy battle arena from Build? I think it is, at least, I'm probably wrong.

-Beroba continues to Bull-y Michinaga for her entertainment.

-Fight!

-I swear, by my sword and capote, that I will once again prove victorious!

-Bullfight!

-Rook! Bishop! Buffa! All the most powerful chess pieces!

-Shut the fuck up Chirami, you ain't doing shit.

-"Happy Birthday :)"

-Na-Go Stans are wildin'

-We win, we party!

-Hot damn, Keiwa!

-Oooooh, disarming yourself for a shot? Clever.

-Oh, whoops! Bero be cheatin', who coulda guessed!

-"You cheated. You didn't learn, you didn't improve."

-Oh God, Beroba's gonna leak her DMs.

-Gotta win!

-Oh hello, Kyuun.

-"A present! For me~?"

-"No! >:( ...Maybe :("

-You're so full of crap, man.

-Free Boost~!

-Sweet and salty! Just like sea-salt ice cream!

-Word of advice lads, be honest.

-OH FUCK, IT'S DAD

-...I think I forgot his name, I'm just gonna call him Papa Naoto until I remember it.

-You're only like... marginally better a parent than your wife, man. And that's only because you don't hit her or constantly try restraining her.

-...man, I just realized, Neon suffers trauma from being kidnapped at a young age and her mother just... holds her captive. Irony at its most fucked up.

-To be quite honest, I don't think Kyuun'd be much better company than Jeff Pesos or whoever Izumi had in mind.

-Man, these supporter plotlines are so interesting, holy shit.

-Ah, yep. There's Ace. Looking into it.

-"Geats. How unexpected."

-...Waaaait...

-"I've had quite enough of family matters from last season, thank you very much."

-KOUSEI, THAT'S HIS NAME

-Ace, you don't just walk up to a girl and lay her backstory out like that.

-I'll give Kousei credit, he at least seems legitimately worried.

-Doesn't even seem to have a scratch on her. Seems a little at odds with the depiction of the kidnapping itself, huh?

-Man... Can't even cake.

-Time for the mountain lion to descend upon the bull.

-...shit, that was lame. Pretend you never noticed that.

-OH?

-Okay, it's Ace time!

-Beroba's such a scrublord. Or uh... scrublady, as the case may be.

-Ooooooh, boy!

-Set!

-Dual On! Ninja! Magnum!

-Ready, Fight!

-Get splashed, idiot!

-"Two, huh?"

-Set!

-Ooooooh, he's not going into Laser Boost, okay!

-That's neat! They kept that suit around!

-PNGTuber Beroba.

-Ohhhhhh noooo

-You're an absolutely horrendous excuse of human being, Beroba.

-Great job Takahashi, banger villain. Especially you Namika-san, you're putting in a fantastic performance <3

-Ohhh, Ace is MAD mad.

-Everybody loves Na-Go-san!

-...holy shit, that is so cruel. They just

-Instantly went on a targeted harassment campaign.

-AKARI?

-Ohhhh

-...that's

-That's depressing as fuck.

-...that goes a long way to explain why Izumi was so controlling and Kousei dumped all his money into... I'm gonna be completely honest, what's basically a snuff film ring.

-Why would he let Giroli pick Neon to play then?

-"She was lying" SHUT THE FUCK UP

-Completely ruined my homegirl's life.

-Fucking MURDER that thing, Ace.

-Oh shit, Kyuun! My dude!

-Next episode.

-#NaGoSweep!

[fuck-you-official]

fuck you dad. fuck you for everything. fuck you for ruining my life. fuck you for being such a good respectable man when we all knew who you were. especially me and you. the both of us know that that facade is faker than the love you pretended to have for both me and mom. you only cared about yourself, and when something bad did actually happen to you, when your mother died and you expected us all to coddle you. the rest of them might've cared, but I didn't. not after the trauma you gave me at such a young age, i couldn't even process it and whether it was a dream or if you knew i wouldn't be able to differentiate that memory if it was real or not. id say fuck you to my mom for never noticing, but i've forgiven her. unlike you, she had something to grow and change from. you could only abuse the ones you love and say nothing or even deny it. she accepted her mistakes and knew she did something wrong but we all know that even if you did that for once in your life, who would ever forgive someone, even less someone they were supposed to love and trust, for ruining me and defiling me, selling my body out just to get yourself kicking. god save my mothers gut-wrenched soul for the fact that you manipulated her into making her believe every slippery lie that fell off your tongue, every excuse that you came up for yourself, every pin and pointing finger you threw at me to blame me. i love my mother so dearly, the fact that you would get angry at her for your own faults and whine like a man baby when she called you out on it makes me want you to take a nice visit to the ninth circle of hell. the years its taken me (and still taking me) to recover from your abuse. i can't ask for help easily, i can't speak up about my interests or thoughts without thinking of how people might think, i can barely stand in the same room next to an older man around your age without wanting to cry or shutdown. my mom can't even bring a man shes been talking to into the house without me shutting myself away and wanting him to leave. i love reading, but god forbid i try to imagine the image of big, rough, course hands without thinking that they were yours. you made me begin to form insecurities at the age of 6. i thought i was so ugly and weird because thats what daddy told me. you sexualized me so much, i began to question whether that was normal for most families. i asked friends at school, essentially asking "hey guys, does your dad tell you you're chest is growing in so well already or is that just me" and they were fucking concerned, and i didn't know better so i thought they were just judgemental. i thought everyone wrestled with their dad and tickled eachother and even did a little gropin here and there, hell everyone knows that tradition! /s

it's been 3 years since i moved. im forgetting your face, but im also forgetting my stepbrothers faces too. they were the one thing i loved about living there, i miss them both, and the fact you ruined my life to where i can never see them again makes me realize how much of a selfish prick you are. i hope all the fat in your body doesn't add fuel for the flames of hell you'll burn in. I've far moved on from the chapter of my life that had you in it, but are you ever really able to move on from an imprinted image in your mind that haunts you occasionally, reminding you why you're like this, telling you that you're the reason for both the cause and effect of your trauma? not really. when court decides to get off their ass and actually plan the court date for your charges, I will be there. and I'll be the last, sweet image you see before your soap dropping, bitch boy days in a cell. and when you die, ill cremate you so i can roll you into a joint and smoke you.

sincerely, the kid you never bothered to respect.

p.s wait till you find out how nicely they treat child predators in jail.

.