#Like idk how telling her you disagree with her choices about her body is actually raising female class conciousness

[2024skin]

it's your God given right to judge everybody but passing judgement onto strangers based on preconceived notions you have about them is probably not effective political practice

[yariktrapov]

CONTROVERSIAL TAKE

Warning: i am going twitter mode controversial.

So. I watched that one video essay about abortion and it was supposed to advocate for pro-choice, and i was pro-choice originally, but i think i switched side to some gray area.

So. I, as a person, am lazy. Extremely lazy. So i don't research topics if not much depends on it. If i don't need it for a debate or a assignment i'm not gonna think on it too hard.

So my core morals are mostly based on feelings, not thoughts. And i'm sure many people out there are just like me.

So. This video. I suggest you watch it. Very enlightening.

The questions i had was: 1. When is it immoral to get an abortion? And we kinda got the answer in the video: when the person expresses their desires which is at birth.

But.. does it?

No! I disagree.

So that prompts another question.

2. When does the future person gets desires they can express?

The desire comes from the new human, so the human must have something to create this desire. I am hinting onto a little thing called a nervous system.

So. Basically. I think a fetus can express desires, we just don't have the technology to observe it yet.

For example: the felus shifts in the tummy, and kicks and stuff. It does so because it wants to. A desire is here.

But also there's another question: Can the desire be expressed through the pregnant person? Like cravings. Does those count? Can we say that the fetus wants a certain chemical and requests it through its bearer? Or is the fetus a natural part of the pregnant persons body and not a separate entity and therefore it can't have desires before some point in time? So. I

I am stopping my thought right now. Fuck, i got a terrible unrelated realization.

I think i'm in the house of a psycho rn actually. Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck. I feel scared now. Fuck.

I didn't get a dorms room (those are extremely cheap and i am, as my family is dirt poor). So my mom asked his friend to give me a place to stay. He gives her a place to stay all the time so one more person won't be an issue.

I met this guy a few times, he gave me and my mom a few rides, he's kinda aggressive in the roadrage department, but a good driver. Very talkative also.

But i met many of my mom friends so they all blend into the same image for me. I forget the details she tells me because they all have similar names, faces and mannerisms. I can't tell them apart, literally. I meet them so rarely.

So. I meet this guy again. He has the "All women belong in the kitchen" mentality, but to be honest, all of her friend have this shit. I tolerate it, because these dudes are kinda a big deal, i get a few benefits for my great acting job. But yeah, that's not concerning.

We get into his car and he tells me that we're gonna clean his house today, because he does those "clean thursdays" and it's totally is his thing. My mom confirmed he made her clean and cook for him, bc woman. But he did help with the cleaning.

He shauferred us around for our errands for a while and i was a bit creeped out for his smile but it was ok, i get scared of men a lot, that's chill.

So we get to the place and my first thought is: "Poggers! There's no carpets and the furniture is all leather. It will be a piece of cake cleaning up in here!

So we made lunch, ate it together while listening to some typical Alpha male war podcast. Sketch.

We start cleaning up. I do the kitchen. I thought i did a decent job but then i went to look how they were cleaning.

They. Were. Wiping the fucking walls and everything with the window cleaner. And i mean everything! Normal things: TV, windows, mirrors. But also: doors, walls, wooden furniture. Idk if literally anyone else does that!

AND HE DOES IT EVERY WEEK APPARENTLY!

IT WAS HILARIOUS AT THE MOMENT BUT NOW IT'S FUCKING NOT.

So i thought he was just a dude obsessed with cleaning and misogyny. Wierd but not totally out of the ordinary.

And then i made a convo that went something like this:

Him: Good job cleaning.

Mom: Are you feeling tired?

Me: Yeah. I was tired from the journey before! I didn't need anymore work today.

Him: Well, now i won't give you anymore work today. We'll see about tomorrow though.

Me: And that's how he treats his guests.

Him: That's how i treat the guests i like!

Me: Oooh, i get it. Where's the shotgun?

Mom: Yarik! (Well, she said my real name but i won't get my name on the internet nonono)

*end of convo*

And that's when it hit me. The fucking shotgun.

FYI

Owning firearms is kinda illegal here. Owning guns comes with a legal reason, a permit and BIG SURVEILENCE.

There was one friend whose shotgun my mom found in the closet while cleaning.

Ha!

It was. him.

I did not remember it was him! These men, they are all the same to me! I did not remember the name!

So then i started theorizing.

We have a bald strong kinda violent man, with misogynistic war-obsessed mentality. Who owns a gun and does a casual deepclean every week, has no wife, kids or pets and has leather non-absorbant furniture. (Also i missed to tell you that he's a devoted patriot, a communist and he's also gives out insults like candy on halloween)

So i think there's 3 scenarios:

1. That man is afraid someone will plant a corpse in his house and frame him.

2. He might be afraid of someone intruding on his house and doing something to him or his house. So he accepts the possibility of shooting a perpetrator.

3. He's a fucking phycho and thinks he can shoot us if we disobey him! I am panicking i am panicking i am panicking i am panicking. Wtf wtf wtf wtf He's got a gun in a big city. With a silenser btw. Why?!? My mom thought he was a sniper. Sniper my ass, he's a psycho. Crazy person

Crazy? I was crazy once. They locked me in a room. A rubber room. A rubber room with rats. And rats make me crazy. Crazy? I was crazy once. They locked me in a room. A rubber room. A rubber room with rats. And rats make me crazy. Crazy? I was crazy once. They locked me in a room. A rubber room. A rubber room with rats. And rats make me crazy.

If you can't tell i did this because i need to calm down.

And i can't to my mom about it because she's a terrible lier and an even more terrible actor.

I'm sure i can play it cool for like a week or two. I'm a champion at ignoring my problems. I'll finish my problematic rant later when i don't feel my heart in my feet.

[macabremoons]

OH GOODNESS I SHALL SING THESE BOOKS PRAISES. I will rank them from READ NOW to READ NOW (2 second delay)

Emily Wildes

Pros:

Main character is IN HER THIRTIES. Well.. she might be 29 in book one but I'm very sure she's thirty. I'm starting to get the ick from YA, so I'm reading more adult and I was like “wait the bitches now are the same fucking age as the bitches of before.” Too many adult books start with 17 yos. ANYWAY. SHE'S ACTUALLY… AGED. SHE CAN. REASON. Lovely stuff 

Main character has autism. Her special interest is faeries and it is very fucking obvious. Her autism is portrayed very well. 

Her love interest is like Cardan AND Howl from Howl's Moving Castle. “Moon, how can he be two hotties in one body?” By being Wendell-fucking-I-don't remember-if-he-had-a-last-name. He serves cunt and he isn't really one. He's a bastard and a weasel but not a bitch.

There's lesbians.

The world building is fucking amazing. The first book really reads like an academic paper at times (but a fun one!!!)

Another pro that shouldn't be a pro: it's actually about the fae. They do fae things. Like not lie. And. Trick people. Stares into the void 

Sidenote I notice a lot of fae books drop that a mortal giving their true name let's the fae have control over them. This isn't like a complaint, it's just interesting. It's always just a fae thing. Very very interesting.  

Uh back to actual pros, the first book is quite cozy. I won't say low stakes but lower? Stakes? Sort of. The girls said it was a no stakes fantasy and I was blindsided by some of it because of that.

Emily is a female character that's loveable but slightly unpleasant!!! A female…. character… that doesn't earn her right to exist… by nurturing? It IS possible!

WithCindy rated it 5 stars

Cons:

it ends

Uh Emily is a person who makes bad choices sometimes due to her psychology?

Uh. The writing is nice idk maybe you'll hyperfixate on it

The Bear and the Nightingale 

Pros:

THE WORLD IS ALIVE ITS ALIVE AND SO RICH EITH CULTURE

The atmosphere is THICK. You feel cold just by reading it oh MY GOD

Probably the best book I've ever read.

Very fae! But very Russian fae. There's a difference.

The historical time it's set in gives so many things to think about.

At the end of the book, the author gives you questions to think about and write your answers down. Idk I fucking love this

The main character is a fucking badass horse girl

Horses are feminist

Lovely prose

Messy messy family dynamics

An amazing magic system

Challenging depictions of Christianity! It doesn't tear it down, but it does bring to light great discussions. 

This book goes beyond just fantasy to me. I feel like I am a richer person because of it. I will read trash romance until the cows come home (read my roommate is a vampire) but this. This is not trash lit. “But Moon I didn't find it that compelling” I SMITE THEE WITH I DONT GIVE A FUCK.

I cried at the end

Cons:

I cried at the end :’( sniff sniff isn't that so sad square

This book shows people with flawed understandings of right and wrong and doesn't tell you if it disagrees with them or not to your face. I… think… it does? I think so, but this gets a little messier later on.

In general if you have some concerns about triggers I'd look them up. It isn't a graphic book or a book that pleasures itself in violence, but the world it's set in is not kind and they will be like “yeah that happened” and move on. And honestly, that can be more jarring.

Death is not feminist. DEATH IS NOT FEMINIST. I REPEAT DEATH IS NOT FEMINIST

Death is the worst actually

No romance in this book is not creepy or problematic in at least one way. Again. Don't think the author is endorsing anything, but GOOD GOD I WAS VERY FUCKING UPSET DURING BOOK 2

Did I mention I hate Death I HATE DEATH SO MUCH

Main character is not an adult. “Oh, so she's 17 and she turns 18 in the next book?” No. Honestly I deducted stars just for this when I rated it on book 2. “Oh but Moon the author can write dark themes blah blah blah” ok but. Did it serve the story? Did it bring any deeper meaning to the themes? Did it clear my skin and water my crops? NO. SO IM GONNA BE UPSET STFU.

Im so mixed on this book. I'd rec it until the cows come home; I'm so frustrated with the romance. Ugh. You could have been better than the folk of air… but you were just. Better than Tithe. Sorry Tithe by Holly Black.

Reverent Games

VAMPIRES

VAMPIRES

VAMPIRES

It also has witches… but like VAMPIRESSSSS

Amazing concept! Realistic depictions of oppression and how it sucks for everyone including oppressors

Cool world building 

Vampire,,,,, love interest,,,,,

There's sort of a love triangle but also not really. The mc isn't torn between them she just reminds herself she was in love with a guy a couple of days ago

I didn't cringe except for one chapter but I like how the author handled it.

The vampire calls her love

The vampire is an ally

The vampire is FEMINIST (SEE DEATH IT ISNT THAT FUCKING HARD YOU CUNT)

Uh.

The MC is flawed but likable. I want to see her bite ppl 

The romance was so believable to me. Like. I get to ick so easily esp with faster paced romances like this but you BELIEVE THEM WHEN THEY ARE IN LOVE RAHHHHHHHHHH

Messy messy families

Messy messy relationships in general

Themes of siblings! Would u die for them? Would you lose everything for them?

Don't feel like a hunger games clone

All 400 pages are warranted and the pace is wonderful. Not a giant ass book with big sections of nothing. 

Pls just read it so I have someone to talk to please I BEG I BEG—

Cons:

it's not trash lit. But it's. It's sure a romance. Fantasy too. But a romance.

:( mc is not an adult (it's YA I forgive her)

It ends and it's a series and it was published THIS YEAR RAAAHHHH

Mc is a hoe and not proud of it. She's in her denial era. Watching her pretending she wouldn't elope this man and fuck everything up is slightly annoying until you realize she. Believes herself?

Girl what 

It's not too annoying but sometimes id be like “HEY BE NICE THEY'RE RIGHT YOU LITTLE MONSTER FUCKER” this doesn't count as spoilers because be so fr. From the summary you know she's fucking up the mission.

I don't remember POC people but idk maybe one snuck up on me I was focused on the bloodsuckers. Lesbian vampire queens tho.

I have no friends who've read it… no one to talk to… sigh…. Sniff so alone… so human…. Sighhhhhhh so sad

Oh God this is over a thousand words. But you said you wanted a HUMAN'S opinion. Human. Smile. I try to keep my blog strictly writing but how does one write without reading. IMPOSSIBLE.

Yayyyy!!! Moon's back!!! I've missed you in my notifs ahhhh

@macabremoons

[lordymaru]

I'm about to refute this entire essay with the simple explanation being:

The only interaction we've seen of these two is when she's a freaking 8 year old. Your self insert shows no boundaries.

And this is probably the last time I'll make a post about the stupidity behind the way the pair is viewed:

Note: I know there's people out there with a brain who ship these two in a more conventional way. In the end you do you, ship whatever you want, no one can prevent you from doing that, just don't be gross about it.

One of the parts being the Significance of their first encounter:

She’s a poor peasant girl who’s suffered immense trauma, suffering, and loneliness. Her initiative to help Sesshomaru came from her generosity

Exactly, she's alone for her family had been killed before her eyes, the villagers treat her like garbage. When she meets Sess he's wounded and simply in a bad state, both mentally and physically. Both of them are, the difference being he's a demon, a powerful one and for him to have ended in such a bad shape only stabbed at his pride- Rin on the other hand is a child, a human tiny child who is vulnerable and to him she poses no threat. Both of them are weak then.

At this point, it’s observable that despite knowing her story, her scars, and her difficulties, humans do not even empathize, let alone sympathize with Rin. It is the feudal era, after all. She’s a young, disabled orphan and the villagers only see her for what she lacks: a voice, a family, and a place of belonging.

Again with your feudal era shit. I can assure you the world is just as ugly today as it was before you and I existed. Next.

When he asks about her bruises, this is the first time anyone had ever afforded her a second glance.

This was a huge step forward for Sess, a huuuuuuge one for he showed interest in another living creature, not just any creature but a human. And for her it was probably like Christmas, for no one had showed her any mercy or interest. Ok you get a point. But oh, boy, how I'm about to spit on the next one:

The audience can see Sesshomaru calculate her body language, recognizing that she is mute. Instead of pressing her further or ignoring her outright, he attempts to comfort her (in his own way), making her feel that it is okay if she chooses not to answer him; that her desire to reply to him should only be a desire, not an obligation. I think, on one hand, that was the first moment of something that would resemble compassion that Sesshomaru had ever administered, trying to put himself in her shoes — if someone had asked him to do something that required, for example, his left arm, he probably would have appreciated them saying “you don’t have to do it if you don’t want to” so to provide him agency for something that he actually cannot do. And the same goes for Rin. He recognizes her disability, maybe even resonates with it and decides to empower her with a choice. Choice is important when it comes to the Sesshomaru/Rin dynamic and it’s a word that will come up often. 

Ok why are you comparing the loss of his arm to her not being able to talk? Not all disabilities are the same, you moron. Or am I dumb for thinking this way? If so, feel free to call me out on my lack of common sense kr whatever you wanna call it. Sess physically couldn't do shit with his left arm because well- it was gone! That's a physical disability. Rin had "lost" her voice after what she witnessed and so she wouldn't speak anymore. Have you heard of Psychogenic Dysphonia? If not, you can click here and give it a reading or do your own research. The more you know: https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0892199703000158

So you say he "empowers her with a choice" that is "important when it comes to the Sesshomaru/Rin dynamic" let me get this straight, a choice because why? She's a child? A female? Because you said so yourself, it's the Feudal Era after all and therefore women had no choice in life, no voice, no agency, no nothing. So he was being magnanimous then? You know... This is where you start edging into the gr00ming territory. Can't you see? No? Alright, moving on.

BRUH WHAT THE FUCK?! Are you fucking good? See how you self insert? Bye. Next

The next time Sesshomaru sees Rin, it is suggested that he actively sought her, whether it be by curiosity or concern for well-being

He did... It is not suggested, he actually did asdfhkl. For both curiosity and he probably was worried. He also states he wants to test out his sword, what a perfect chance to do so for Rin is pretty much dead and that's the only way to make his sword work. So she was both being a guinea pig and an itch he wasn't quite sure how to scratch. Next.

Silence Rin.

Rin screams endlessly, annoying Sesshomaru. Firstly, this is the first time we hear him call her by her name. Secondly, Sesshomaru is visibly annoyed by her noises, however, he does not tell her to “shut up” as he normally would with Jaken or even InuYasha. He simply says “enough of that Rin, stop it.” (In Japanese he says, “Silence, Rin. You make too much noise.”) Even analyzing the Japanese dialogue, it is evidently softer than Sesshomaru’s usual ‘kisama’ (貴樣) manner of speech that we see depicted usually. This is the first time he’s had a companion who is not a demon, someone with compassion, and who has had his general best interests at heart with no expectations in return. His softer tone is a logical deduction to make.

Ok... "someone with compassion, and who has had his general best interests at heart with no expectations in return." Bruh... As if he would even consider meeting someone's expectations. Are you sure you're talking about Sess? Another thing is, he always speaks in a calm tone, he rarely yells or loses his composure- he had no reason to be rude to her either, you're excusing his regular behavior simply because she ain't Jaken. Anything else?

Rin doesn't change Sesshomaru overnight, it's a gradual and long process

Well duh!!! Just like you don't lose the pounds you gained from eating in one sit 12 donuts a week ago. Stating the obvious and for what? What's exactly your mf point?

The silence part is important, idk how to tell you there is a power imbalance in their relationship from the moment he tells her to be quiet. He didn't say please, he didn't ask her to, he told her to be quiet. Like a parent would, if I could count the times my mom told me to shush.... That's your first indicator he is not her friend, he is not her equal.

Letting you Be Yourself: The Panther Demon Arc

the first frame the audience sees in the anime sets the scene, painting the Sessshomaru entourage in a serene manner, indicating a level of comfort between group members (episode 75). This is vastly different from our last depiction of Sesshomaru and Rin’s relationship. In episode 44, he was unable to withstand her (albeit annoying) childish antics. But here, it’s observable that Sesshomaru can accept her and her package of unconventional fun. Not only does he tolerate and even more so, accept Rin, but he accepts her influence on his vassal, Jaken and allows them to be free around him.

Is called developing patience. I can assure you that when you're a parent or an older bro/sis and your kid/younger sibling is noisy af you either learn to tolerate that or get used to it for kids are kids abd you have to let them be kids. Next.

She's a child, she's not stupid.

The Abducted Rin: Calling her Name

The respect that Sesshomaru shows Rin is insurmountable. However, the InuYasha franchise is clever to portray the subtlety of Sesshomaru’s respect for her. KV on Twitter points out how highly he regards his companion and never relegates her to anything less than the value that she as a person embodies (@KVndie via Twitter). He consistently humanizes her. 

He only sees how important she is to him after her ass dies a second time. What do you mean? He respects her enough to not coddle her, she is independent and taught her to be self sufficient from the very start. That's respect. He consistently humanizes her because... She ... Is ... Human! OMG WHAT A SHOCKER!

As Naraku remarks on his hostage to Sesshomaru, "Naturally, the girl you're looking for is not here…,” he continues, “the girl is in custody outside of the castle..." Naraku never makes an attempt to give her personhood, leaving her unnamed, disposable, and relegating her to a mere "girl." But Sesshomaru doesn’t take any of this. He is a cold-hearted Daiyokai, yet he still makes an effort and upholds his principle to refer to her as Rin — not a replaceable “girl.”

Naraku is a mf genius. It didn't quite click until now he wanted to see if she was important or not to him and to what extent. For he planned his moves that way, making people turn against one another. While he wouldn't have made Rin turn against Sess he set everything up so he would end up wanting to kill Kohaku and in doing so, Inugang would have engaged against Sess.

Sesshomaru’s insistence on using Rin’s name isn’t only highlighted in this isolated incident though. It pays off. It is an ongoing theme in their dynamic throughout the series.

That's her name ... How you want him to call her? Baby?

I could go on and on but... This is a fucking essay. And then I stumble against more bullcrap:

The second point I want to highlight here is Sesshomaru’s reaction to Rin’s fall and her risky expedition. At this point, it’s unquestionable that Rin has a special place in his heart.

Of course she has a special spot in his heart. I won't deny that. What worries me is how you're trying to justify the way she's important to him since she was a child. As if his way of seeing her had changed.

I'm gonna disagree by agreeing with you in a few pointers. Kagome and Kikyo were rivals, they both romantically love the same guy. Kagome being the only one who could save Kikyo chooses to help her, knowing damn well Inuyasha would have suffered if Kikyo had died- further more, if it was in Kagome's hands to do something about it.

Rin on the other hand, I will applaud to her how she grew past her fear of Kagura after being kidnapped by her, she saw her body in the river and said fuck it and did her best to try to pull her from the water. I loved how stubborn and brave she was, even tho Sess had to pull everyone out of the water- she deserves a gold star. You go baby girl!!!

Rin later makes a cheeky comment, noting Kagura’s romantic interest in Sesshomaru. Jaken brushes this off as childish naivety. But for the spectator, this establishes two things: (1) That Rin does not see Kagura as a rival for Lord Sesshomaru’s attention, let alone affection; and (2) that Rin is still a child. Rin is certainly a child, with a youthful and fresh outlook on life that brings out the best in people. But even as a child, her relationship with Sesshomaru is incredibly healthy, clear, and surprisingly communicative.

Why would she? She's not a spoiled brat

Nah? I thought her double D indicated otherwise. OF COURSE SHE'S A MF CHILD.

Why do you keep mentioning is healthy? Do you need reassurance of it? Communicative in what way? Cuz if you wanna talk about communication let's talk about how he didn't even acknowledge her ass when she gave birth. He didn't even say her name, didn't even look at her. Tell me now how they are communicative and healthy?

I could go on, I really but all I'm getting from this load of bullshit I'm forcing myself to read is how you do in fact need to reassure yourself thr ship is god tier and is... How you said it was? Ah, healthy.

Anyways, thanks for reading and if you see any typo ... My apologies, I tried. Also if you have any input or I was out of line in some way, my apologies once more.

[bloodstained-ballgowns]

Things I... didn’t like as much, about Black Widow (2021):

Disclaimer: I loved this movie. I would give it 4/5 stars overall. This is a lot of nit-picking. Most of the choices I’m talking about here I still really enjoyed, but this is how I would change them to improve it *for me*. If you disagree, that’s fine! Obviously, spoilers.

I said in my ‘Things I Loved About Black Widow’ post that I consider the first 53 minutes to be perfect, and the rest to be not-so-perfect. This is where I complain about the not-so-perfect stuff. They didn’t drop the ball on the third act, they just...fumbled it a bit. It stayed dark, but to me, it lost a bit of its grit. Cate Shortland’s influence really shone through in the first act, but it got lost around the second and third acts for me because of how Marvel-y it got.

Firstly, I’m considering the hand-to-hand combat here to be second only to CATWS. So why did that element basically dissolve towards the end of the film? She barely fought anyone in the prison breakout. Yes, Natasha fought the Widows, but that was all slowmo-y and widows-bites-y and did not have the same level of choreography. I wish they’d carried it through. 

Talking of action, there was not enough of it between Natasha and Taskmaster (who is getting a whole other post, because that is a bag of mixed feelings I don’t want to delve into here), particularly in the third act. Action isn’t something I’m particularly interested in but I was excited for this dynamic. Antonia wasn’t the villain, but like, the bridge fight did not effectively demonstrate her whole mirroring deal. Yelena and Nat’s fight had more mirroring than her and Tasky’s. Antonia’s skill set really shines in hand-to-hand onscreen, but as I said, I felt that kind of dissolved in the third act. They completely cheated us out of an impressive showdown when Natasha let Antonia out of the cell and moved backwards and I totally thought they were going to duel...which would lead into the sky fight...and then...the room cracks and they’re blown apart?? Hmmm.

Why was the Red Room in the sky??? I get that they were moving around a lot and this movie needed to have some kind of Marvel explosive finale and it looked cool and everything but I prefer the comics’ more grounded version. I just think it would have been more effective for Natasha and Yelena to walk through the old halls of the building they grew up/were trained in, find the new facility underground or something and then blow the whole place to smithereens. It would have actually cemented the whole ‘going back to where it all started’ thing.

Now I know the reason for Dreykov’s off-screen demise was to show how a man as purely evil as him didn’t deserve a major, glorified death. He deserved the death of an afterthought. But I would have liked to see Nat plunge a knife into his heart. Or to see him try to go after Yelena somehow and Nat just shoot him in the back of the head. It didn’t feel like they gave us any closure on that front, particularly as they made a whole deal about Nat not seeing the body in Budapest...and then we didn’t see the body here either. I almost feel like his death was made so insignificant that it was forgettable.

The whole flashing back and showing that actually they did have everything figured out did not work for me, it felt like lazy writing. It gave me “BET YOU DIDN’T SEE THAT COMING, BET YOU UNDERESTIMATED HER, LOOK HOW CLEVER NATASHA IS! DIDN’T YOU UNDERESTIMATE HER? SHE HAD IT ALL FIGURED OUT YOU FOOLS HARHARHAR” vibes and I was just like...I know. Literally, I know how clever and calculated she is. I knew she wouldn’t have been outplayed like that at Melina’s. Maybe other people didn’t, but come on guys, think up with something a little less ‘gotcha’.

What the hell happened with Nat and Ross before they cut to ‘two weeks later’? *confusion intensifies*

Again, this is getting long. See the read-more.

This movie had a lot of bases to cover and a lot of information to convey and I think the script managed that pretty well overall, but it did lapse into a bit of ‘show-don’t-tell’ syndrome at times. Show me Nat’s mother being ‘relentless’ in her search, don’t just tell me about it. I did not want Renner’s Clint Barton in this movie, but they could have made the Budapest flashback a smidge longer, for my liking.

Disney would never do this, but I would have loved an R-rated Black Widow movie. Yelena is absolutely a character that would yell ‘Fuck!’ really loudly (think Florence Pugh in that cactus video). My suggestions above for Dreykov’s death were me being reserved: Nat stabbing him repeatedly would have been so cathartic (for me, idk about her).

Y’all know I’m a slut for Nat’s everything in this movie, particularly the hair, but goddammit the hair. Riddle me this, if Nat had in a perfectly good braid when she got into the helicopter, why did she emerge with flowing locks and one tiny useless plait on the left side of her head?? And then she redid that into the ponytail with all the little braids while preparing for battle at Melina’s (never mind the fact that Nat’s hair would not have been long enough for them to reach much past her shoulders as well as being tied up) and fit it all under a Melina-wig! HELLO, LOGISTICAL NIGHTMARE SPEAKING.

I’m pretty sure the whole Nat-not-understanding-science-speak thing was only there for the “In English”-*replies in Russian* gag but it still seemed a little ooc since she’s never had a problem with it before. Idk if I would class this is as Nat ‘playing dumb’ to get more information like she does later with Dreykov since Yelena is readily giving her that info, and Yelena is also good enough to realise when she’s being manipulated like that.

Ummmm whole separate post for reasoning and such but the magic dust antidote? Not a vibe. No thank you. Lazy. Unrealistic. 

So...Alexei and Melina. It’s not that I don’t like them as characters - I really enjoyed them, I think they’re great characters. Fascinating to analyse. Did I love the Ohio mission sequence? Yes. Did I really appreciate the family dynamic and all the fanfic possibilities it gave us? Yes. But do I wish they weren’t in this movie at all? Yeah, kinda. The family dynamic was funny, and it was heartwarming, and it was heartbreaking, because it was executed so well, but the fact is that it was added by Kevin Feige to make this movie more palatable for the wider audience. Alexei’s dad jokes breaking the tension were probably an imperative for most audiences to enjoy the film. (Yelena’s dry sarcasm could have filled that role easily for me). But I didn’t want the tension broken. I didn’t want people to relax. I wanted them to come out and have to decompress because it was so intense. It’s easier to market a film about ‘family and going back to the past’ than ‘female subjugation and exploitation’. I don’t appreciate it, but I get it. Making this into a quasi-ensemble piece in the second and third acts just irritated me though. I wanted all the screentime possible to be on Natasha and Yelena. They could totally have pulled it off without their parents.

This really is nitpicky, but would a Liho mention have been too much to ask for? It would have been so easy, when Yelena asked “did you ever wish for kids?”, Nat could have replied with “i have a cat”, which is a good deflection but also informative, or her lockscreen could have lit up to show a tiny black kitten. Idk, this movie used a couple of good comics references and I guess I was hoping for one more.

*whispers and runs away* Bucky should have been here. Goddammit.

In conclusion, a lot of my critiques could be fixed if we didn’t live in a time where this film still had to be palatable for wider audiences who do not care about characters nearly as much as they care about action or humour or plot or spectacle. A lot of the strong choices paid off (they’ve riled up dudebros enough to prove that). The Marvel-y ending and Alexei’s humour did not. The rest is just logistical errors and missed opportunities.

This is a lot of complaining but I promise, these annoyances are much more minor than I’m making them out to be. The movie is magnificent even with them.

[charincharge]

Cruel Summer, Part 1

cruel summer masterlist

AN: It’s here. Idk what the posting schedule will be like, I have no idea what my writing schedule will be like, but... I think it’s gonna be 25ish chapters? Maybe? Who knows. It’s gonna be fun, I think. I hope. Looking forward to hearing everyone’s thoughts. Alright... without further ado...

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Rowan Whitethorn is having a really horrible day. Not just the kind of bad that he can shrug off, but the kind that seeps through his skin and sinks into his bones, that permeates even the smallest thing, turning everything into a giant annoyance.

First, he missed his alarm, so his grumpy manager, Lorcan, has been even grumpier with him since he pulled through the gates of Ashryver Playland this morning. The amusement park job is less than ideal. Rowan hadn’t planned for his summer to be taking tickets and cleaning up melted ice cream cones from sweaty-faced teens – but it was the only place that called him back, and he doesn’t come from the type of family that can afford to pay his rent. So unless Rowan had wanted to spend the summer in his mom’s unairconditioned apartment, dodging set ups with her mahjong circle’s daughters, this was his only option.

It's nearly 3PM, and Rowan still hasn’t been able to take his lunch break. He knows that’s adding to his bad attitude. Rowan has a tendency to get hangry, or so his coworker Fenrys tells him. And because he was in a rush this morning, he forgot to pack his lunch. Which means he’ll have to spend money buying overpriced crap at the park.

Rowan’s also on trash duty today. Which means he gets to spend the whole day circling the park grounds with a giant broom and pan and pick up the fallen bits of funnel cake and popcorn and soda cups and dump them into the closest trash. Then, once those are full, he gets to haul the heavy bags of stinking trash all the way to the back of the park where the dumpsters are. It’s pretty much his worst nightmare. Though Rowan isn’t opposed to physical activity, he’s not super fond of smelling like rancid garbage. He tugs at the collar of the too tight uniform polo shirt stretching uncomfortably across his chest and frowns. After a bag split all over him earlier, Rowan was forced to go diving in the employee lost and found for another uniform. Apparently, the only person who’s missing a shirt is two times smaller than him. He sniffs himself and nearly gags. He can’t wait to get home and shower. He look at his watch … in … five more hours.

“Whitethorn,” Lorcan calls, crossing across the yard at him. “Take your thirty now. Then you’re taking over for Connall at the ferris wheel ‘til closing, yeah?”

Rowan barely contains a shudder upon hearing his new assignment. He hates trash, but working the ferris wheel is somehow worse. He didn’t realize until last week that’s where every middle schooler goes on their first make out date. He’s had to pull too many kids off the ride, feeling like their disapproving father as he pulled their clashing braces apart to make room for the next patrons in line. Frankly, he finds PDA disgusting. And the sight of thirteen-year-olds going at it is enough to scar him for life.

At least Rowan finally gets to eat something, though. The oppressive mid-day heat combined with hours of physical labor and no fuel has him feeling like he could keel over any second. He grunts his acknowledgement at Lorcan and makes his way to the closest concessions stand, which luckily has barely a line – I guess since it’s 3 fucking PM and not actually lunch time. Rowan is about to step forward when he feels tiny fingers poke against the back of his knees. He’s about to snap at whatever parent to keep their kid on a tighter leash when he realizes there is no parent, just a kid – and the kid is, in fact, trying to get his attention.

“Um, excuse me? Sir?” the little boy says. Rowan’s never been a sir before. He hates it.

“Yeah?”

“I think I lost my family,” he says resolutely, not sounding even a little bit scared. “Can you help me find them?”

Rowan’s stomach grumbles and his head pounds. He knows he has to return this child to his family, but he also knows he needs to eat immediately or he’s going to lose it.

“We can absolutely do that,” Rowan begins, “but I haven’t eaten all day. Do you think you can wait like… ten minutes?”

The little boy nods and sticks out his hand. “I’m Gavin and I’m five.”

“Hey, Gavin. I’m Rowan and I’m hungry.” Gavin giggles at that, and Rowan finally cracks a smile and shakes the boy’s hand.

Rowan steps up to order, thinking about what’s going to be the fastest, since his thirty minute break is going to include an unforeseen detour to security at the entryway of the park. “Can I get a hot dog, a pretzel, a cherry coke and…” He looks at the little boy next to him. “Anything for you?”

Gavin’s eyes widen with glee. “Cotton candy?!”

“…and a cotton candy.”

Rowan reluctantly hands over a $20, saying goodbye to three hours of hard work. But he has no choice. They get their food and make their way to the eating tent. Rowan keeps his eyes open for anyone looking panicked or in search of a child, but he doesn’t see anyone who fits the bill.

Rowan inhales his hot dog in record speed and takes a giant gulp of his cherry coke and immediately feels better. Sitting under the shade of the tent helps, too. The pair sit quietly and eat their food. Gavin swings his legs happily as he peels off pieces of his cotton candy, licking the sticky sugar from his fingers.

“So…” Rowan has no idea how to talk to a kid, but he figures he should ask him a few questions to figure out who to return him to, at least. “Who are you here with today? You said your family?”

Gavin nods excitedly, the sugar clearly starting to make its way through his tiny body. “Yup! My whole family is here today. My mom, my dad, Auntie Ae, Nana and Grandpa.”

“Wow.” Rowan’s heart tugs slightly. “That’s fun. Any special occasion?”

“Nope. We come every week,” Gavin says.

“Every week?” Rowan asks, his voice rising in pitch. He’s trying to do the math of the ticket prices. $30 for six family members. That’s $180. For every week of the summer…? Rowan’s mental math skills stop there, but he knows that’s a LOT more than he’s ever been able to casually throw down.

“Yup. Since I was a baby,” Gavin says. “It’s my family’s special place.”

“Think your family would adopt me?” Rowan jokes. He loves his mom a lot, and she did the absolute best job raising him, but they’ve never had a special place. His mom thinks adding guacamole to her Chipotle bowl is special. Not that Rowan disagrees. Guacamole is a perfect condiment.

Gavin finishes his last lick of cotton candy and holds his red hands up at Rowan. “I’m sticky.”

Rowan shoves the final bite of his pretzel into his mouth and stands up. “Me too. Let’s go wash our hands and then find your family. Sound good?”

Gavin nods, skipping next to Rowan, his little shoes lighting up as he matches the striding pace. They make their way to the row of porta-potties and outdoor sinks, which line the side of the park. As Rowan washes his hands, he notices Gavin struggling to reach the stream of water. Of course. He’s only five.

“Need a hand?” Rowan asks, and Gavin nods, holding his arms up to be lifted. Rowan’s arms burn, since he’s been picking up giant bags of trash all day, but he manages to keep Gavin mid-air until he’s finished cleaning the sugary crystals from his hands. He’s putting Gavin back on the ground when he hears a loud voice shrieking behind him –

“YOU! SIR, STEP AWAY FROM THE CHILD!”

Damn it.

Rowan sighs and turns, letting his hold on Gavin drop completely. This is so not what he needs right now.

“Gavin, honey, come here,” the voice calls again.

Rowan searches to see who the voice belongs to and is momentarily stunned. Gavin’s mom is… young. And hot. Her golden blonde hair is swept away from her face in a high ponytail, resting softly down her bare back, on display in a strappy yellow tank top. And her jean shorts show off her long, tanned legs. Rowan stares a beat too long because the next thing he hears is, “Gavin, earmuffs,” and suddenly the blonde woman is inches away from him, in his face and pushing at his chest with her pointed finger. She is mad.

“Stay away from this little boy, you pervert!” The woman’s eyes flare angrily as she pushes Rowan’s chest again forcefully with her finger, and he is not having any of that. He grabs her finger in his large fist and moves it away from him, making the woman stumble back slightly. Her mouth widens into a small circle as she looks up at the man grabbing her finger.

“I’m sorry, pervert?” He chuckles humorlessly. “This little boy asked for my help finding his irresponsible family. Who lost him. I work here.” Rowan uses his other hand to point to the stupid logo on the corner of his polo. “He happened to find me on my lunch break. Maybe if you’d been a more responsible mother you wouldn’t feel the need to get this worked up the guy who was clearly about to take your kid to security.”

“Mom?” the woman says, horrified and snatches back her finger. “Oh my god.” Her demeanor shifts entirely as she looks to Gavin and motions for him to uncover his ears. “Gavin, please tell this very rude man that I am way too young and cool to be your mom.”

Gavin frowns. “I don’t think he’s rude, Auntie Ae. He gave me cotton candy.”

The woman’s eyebrows shoot up in accusation. ‘You gave him cotton candy? You’re only proving my point.”

Rowan puffs out his chest defensively. “I’m sorry, is cotton candy a sex offender favorite? I wouldn’t know.”

“You clearly offered sweets to a child to lure him away from his family!” she says way too loudly, looking around and making a show of her statement.

“Quiet down!” Rowan snipes through gritted teeth. “I need to keep this job, for fuck’s sake.”

The woman smirks and steps closer. “I think your employer deserves to know you were luring children away from their families!” she exclaims dramatically, attracting the attention of a nearby security guard.

“No,” Rowan says, his voice increasing in volume as well. He’s had it up to here with this day, and this woman has grated his last nerve. “That’s not… Listen…” Rowan takes a deep breath. He really cannot lose this job. “I was starving and about to go on my lunch break when some poor lost kid asked for help finding his family. I told him he could order something with me, since I felt bad. Sorry. I’ll be sure never to be polite ever again.”

Rowan has gotten in “Auntie Ae’s” face, and he’s breathing hard. He’s worked up, and he knows it’s not her fault, but fuck this day.

“Is everything alright here, Ms. Ashryver?” the approaching security guard asks, and Rowan pales.

The woman steps back and takes a breath, her fury melting into a warm smile for the guard. “No, Frank, everything is fine. Just thanking one of our newest employees, who made friends with Gavin today.”

The guard chuckles. “He run off again?”

The woman’s eyes flash in warning and the guard shakes his head. “Ah, don’t be mad, Aelin. You did the same exact thing when you were his age. Running from ride to ride and driving your old man crazy.”

Rowan crosses his arms as the guard saunters off, and the woman turns back to him with a shy smile.

“Ashryver, hm?” Rowan asks, feeling a little ill as he pictures the large Ashryver sign that hangs over the entryway to the park.  “So, what is this, like… hazing?”

“No! I was really only going to make the one joke and then let it go,” the woman says, biting her lip guiltily and shoving her hands into her jean shorts pockets. “But then you called me his mom and I just… got carried away. I do that sometimes. I’m Aelin. Ashryver.”

“So I heard.” Rowan rolls his eyes. “You know there’s absolutely nothing funny about calling someone a predator, right? I could be arrested if the wrong person overheard that.”

“You’re making me feel very bad,” Aelin says with a grimace.

“Good,” Rowan says resolutely. “Because now I’m also late to get back to work.” He’s more than a little annoyed at how this entire exchange has played out. And even more annoyed that he can’t stop staring at Aelin’s bright blue eyes. This is the last thing he needs. He’s about to head off when –

“You’re really not going to tell me your name?” Aelin asks, tilting her head up, trying to figure Rowan out. Rowan’s about to reply when she cuts him off, not even giving him a chance. “That’s fine. I’ll find it out. I have connections, you know.”

“I’m sure you do, princess,” Rowan says. Her lips purse at the nickname, and Rowan can’t tell if she loves it or hates it.  

“See you, stranger,” she replies, dismissing him and grabbing Gavin’s hand as she walks off. Just before turning the corner, she tosses her ponytail over her shoulder and looks back. It’s only when she winks at him that Rowan realizes he’s still standing motionless, watching her go.

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #436

from a couple days ago again; still don’t feel like rewriting any answers.

Do you own many pairs of shorts? I don't own any. Have you ever taken a close up shot of a flower? A hell of a lot; I love doing that. Have you ever wanted to get drunk and get your mind off everything? Yup. But I don't like hard alcohol and only really drink light fruity stuff, and I'm apparently no lightweight, so I got to the point I just really didn't want to drink anymore. Anything you might be giving up on soon? I have felt very, very hopeless with photography lately that sometimes I'm tempted. I don't think I will, but... it's hard. When was the last time you changed your picture on Facebook? It's been months. Have you ever painted a piece of furniture? Yes, actually. I helped Jason paint his shelf black. Do you have a favorite quote? No. Have you ever made a business card for yourself? No, but I have thought about it. I just really don't have nearly enough popularity among the local photographers to feel like I really need to design one. Did you love playing hide and seek as a kid? YES. I loved it. Are there any recipes you have memorized? No. Do you know your multiplication times tables? ... no lmao Have you ever been severely burned? Not severely, no. Did you ever dream that you had a baby? I actually have more than once. What was the weirdest thing you ever saw cross the road? I think a turkey? Are you good at coming up with jokes? God no. Where do you prefer to sit when you catch the bus? When I used to ride home with Jason from school, we always sat way in the back. Do you ever listen to music to fall asleep to? No. I did when I was younger, though. I went through a loooong phase of sleeping with my iPod. If your parents... or anybody else... found your cell phone, would they be horrified at any of the messages in your inbox/outbox? No. Do you get offended if someone repeatedly checks their mobile phone when you’re out for lunch or dinner? That's very rude. What is the stupidest thing you’ve heard somebody say recently? Anti-vaccination bullshit from my stepmother. :^) Think about the last person you kissed - was it the very first time that you kissed them? No. When you drink alcohol with friends, do you play drinking games? We never did. Do you believe that there are certain circumstances where cheating is okay? Nope. Who was the last person to call you? My psychiatrist. What food disgusts you the most? Things like sashimi and caviar. I also think rare meat like steak, especially when it's still bloody, is absolutely disgusting. I could go on and on about this, 'cuz I think a lot of food is really gross. One place you would never want to get lost in in the dark? The jungle. Yikes. So many dangerous creatures, so claustrophobic, and with the canopy, I'd assume it'd be EXTREMELY dark. And it rains so much in the jungle, so it'd be hard to hear danger approaching. One thing that always creeps you out? Perhaps #1 is seeing an unborn baby move from outside their mother's stomach. I will fucking scream and want to puke. If you could be roommates with anyone of your choice, who would you pick? SARA!!!!!!!!! Omfg I'd LOVE to have her as my roommate. We've actually talked about the possibility, but that's nowhere near set in stone. What is the most ridiculous thing you’ve ever heard? In light of recent events, a high contender is shit like "vaccines cause autism." Would you rather be buried or cremated when you die? I'd strongly prefer to be cremated. What is your favorite food around the holidays? Spiral honey ham, for one. I love Christmas treats like chocolate-covered peanuts, fudge, cookies, etc. etc... Tell me about the greatest prank you’ve ever pulled? I don't pull pranks. If you could have the power to cast any kind of spell, what kind of spell would you cast? Maybe enchanting the human population to not be such violent and hateful fucks??? Have you ever gotten a flu vaccination? Only for Covid. Double dates: a do or don’t? They are SO fun, but I do feel like it's good to have individual ones, too. Do you know any guitarists? Yes. My old friend Tommy actually plays the electric guitar in a band, and Juan was really good at it, too. How do you feel about full-length beards? They look good on some people. It varies with everyone. Do you have any relatives that have shunned you, or vice versa? Not currently. My half-sister stopped talking to me many years ago when I was a homophobic fuck, and I don't blame her. We're perfectly cool now! Has anyone ever posted a HORRIBLE picture of you for everyone to see? omg no Does/did your high school have pop machines? Yes. Have you ever gambled? Nah. If you could work at any retail store, which one would it be? I am NEVER working retail again. I can't handle it. What’s the name of the last cat you pet? Roman. :') Have you ever stringed green beans before? Yes, actually, with Colleen's in-laws. They had a big garden that I helped tend to sometimes. I absolutely hated it with how sweaty I got even then, it was WAY too hot, and my body was also weak back then to where bending down was extremely painful. I just never wanted to say no. Have you ever had any painful dental work done? If so, what? No. What’s your favorite thing to do when you’re bored? It really depends on what I feel like doing, but I think playing World of Warcraft tempts me most often when I'm unbearably bored. What did you watch today? I've just been rewatching Mortem3r play Monster Hunter World. That game looks soooo fun, I wanna try it. ;-; True or False: Yoshi is the cutest dinosaur ever? No. I adore dinosaurs and dinosaur media, so I could name a lot if I thought long enough. Who is the last person you spent money on? My niece. I still feel awful I didn't buy Ryder a gift by myself; I just could NOT decide what to get him. I'm very thankful that Mom let me use one she got him as "mine." They were bright, light-up golf balls, and he loooooved them. What is your relationship like with various members of your family? I have a biiig extended family, man, so I'll try to keep this as brief as possible. I am EXTREMELY close to my mom, like there is no way I'd be alive without her, and her support for me seems endless somehow. I love my dad very much too, but I don't see him nearly as much as I wish I did. He tries to support me however he's capable, and he always lets me know that he's there if I need him for anything. I love, am very proud of, and look up to my two sisters, but I'm also very envious of them and how they are successful adults with direction and big accomplishments. We are very different, so we have difficulty with really bonding and talking about things regularly, and it really makes me feel like a terrible sister. My nieces and nephew are absolute diamonds to me, and I'm especially close to Ash's oldest daughter Aubree. She and I are very similar in a lot of areas, so I really relate to her, even in her young age. Ryder really seems to like me, and I love that little rascal, too. :') My youngest niece Emerson is still only a baby, so she can't really communicate in words yet, but she is still a beautiful darling that I'd protect with my life in not even a blink. That covers who I consider my "immediate" family, really, at least that I see regularly. What’s something you disagree with about the way you were raised? I am very firmly against spanking, but my parents did it. I think since Ash's kids were born though, Mom's opinion changed on it. It was around that time, I know. She won't lay a hand on them. Who was the last person to add you as a friend on Facebook? I have no clue, actually. Who was the last person that asked if you were okay? *shrug* The last time you were in a car, who was driving? My mom. Did you ever get into a bar and drink before you were 21? Never tried. What countries have you been to? I've never left the U.S. Honestly, is that car insured? I don't have my own car. What do you think about gay marriage? I vigorously support it. Do you like Carrie Underwood? I actually do. She has a beautiful voice. How far away do you live from your parents? I live with my mom. Idk how far I am from Dad, really... but not THAT far. How do you like your steak cooked? Medium well. Have you ever been to Mount Rushmore? No, and I don't want to. It is absolute vandalism. Where is your favorite place (that you have actually been to)? Chicago blew me away, but I think it's just because it was SO foreign to me. I actually don't like cities very much, but for a brief visit, I thought it was very cool. Do you believe places can really be haunted? Yes. Do you take anti-depressants? Sleeping pills? No. I took anti-depressants for I think most of my life, and they did nothing for me. Come to learn from the doctor who actually set my meds straight that anti-depressants for people with bipolarity do nothing but aggravate the symptoms of bipolarity, and I was living evidence. I take mood stabilizers for said disorder instead. I don't take sleeping pills; none seem to work for me. What’s your favourite brand of peanut butter? Maybe Skippy? Idk, I'm not very picky with pb. What’s your favourite Lunchables meal? The nachos one. How many languages can you recite the alphabet in? Two. Do you like Bob Marley? NOOOOOOOOOOOOO. I can't stand his voice. Have you ever eaten at Golden Corral? Yeah, but I'm not a fan. Buffets gross me out. Do you sit and eat dinner at the same table with your family? We very rarely sit at the table. Have you been working hard to achieve something lately? If not, what was the last thing you worked hard to achieve? Losing weight, yes. I am honestly trying so hard at the gym, like to the point I've almost fallen many times as well as been overtaken by incredible nausea a lot. I don't feel like I'm over-working, necessarily, just working my ass off. Do you use ice cubes in your fountain drinks? No, because it waters the drink down and I hate it. Would you ever want your very own library, or do you not read enough for it to be worth it? No. I don't read nearly enough, and besides, can you imagine all the dust? What site did you originally start doing surveys on? I actually don't know... Have you ever used something other than water to make ice cubes? What did you do with them? I've actually never thought to do that. Would you ever willingly experience life temporarily without sight, hearing, or any of your other senses, simply to know what it is like? Fuck no. I would go insane. In what ways are you very judgmental? I'll judge the fuck out of rapists, child molesters, pedophiles, people like that with no goddamn shame. But your average person, I try not to judge very much. What is your main problem in life right now? It's hard to determine my main problem, honestly. There are a lot of issues going on in my life that've just piled up into one big tangled mess. Do your “favourites” change often? Definitely not. I've had the same favorites in so many topics for forever. Have you ever read a biography on someone? I've read Ozzy's autobiography, and I also read the Some Kind of Monster Metallica book, which was written by I want to say St. Anger's musical director? This was a very long time ago, and honestly, I thought it was pretty boring, so my memory is faint. You learned quite a bit about the band in his time with them, but damn, I don't care about the musical director al;skdfal;we. Do you know anyone who has ever been in a movie? Who and what movie were they in? What was their part? Not to my knowledge. I have an acquaintance who's had minor acting roles, but I don't believe she's ever been in a film. When was the last time you brought a pet to the vet? What was wrong with it? I want to say around two years ago (probably less) when we got my cat neutered. Have you ever made your way through a corn maze? No.

[vole-mon-amour]

OTP tag game.

Tagged by @captainjowl. You know for sure than I'm struggling to pick only 10 & fit them in here. But hell, that’s fun, thank you <3

Rules: Choose 10 OTPs BEFORE reading the questions, and then get to answering

1) Harry James Potter & Sirius Orion Black

2) Daniel Le Domas & Grace (Ready or Not 2019)

3) Samuel & Nathan Drake (Uncharted 4)

4) Corvo Attano & The Outsider (+probably Emily Kaldwin; Dishonored series)

5) Steve Grant Rogers & Bucky Buchanan Barnes (Marvel)

6) Tony Edward Stark & Peter Benjamin Parker (Marvel)

7) Handsome Jack & Rhys (Borderlands video game series)

8) Damon Salvatore & Elena Gilbert (TVD Books & a tv show)

9) Batman & Joker (in every universe, really)

10) Adam Jensen x Francis Pritchard (Deus Ex video game series)

1. Do you remember the episode/scene/chapter that you first started shipping 6?

I believe it didn't hit me before Spider-Man: Homecoming. Civil War was about Steve & Bucky for me, but when I saw that growing up Peter with Tony, their dynamic, chemistry. Tom & Robert are really just like that.

2. Have you ever read a fanfic about 2?

Lmao. I've read like 50% of the tag on AO3, I wrote my own & started a few wips on them. They are amazing. Plus, with that shitty canon? We didn't get enough of them & they deserved better, so it's only logical to save yourself with fanfiction.

3. Has a picture of 4 ever been your screen saver/profile picture/tumblr screen saver?

I was living with The Outsider icon on my twitter & tumblr. That one is still my Google profile picture I believe. Don't remember about having an icon with the two of them. Also had The Outsider as my lockscreen on my smartphone for a while.

4. If 7 were to suddenly break up today, what would your reaction be?

Funny how it fits canon, lmao. Rhys literally tried to erase Jack's AI in TFTBL, so I guess another day on Pandora, nothing new. They torture each other, they kiss each other, they kill other people in the process. It'll be fiiine.

5. Why is 1 so important?

I love them since the first time I met them, which was much more than 10 years ago, I don't even remember when. At some point they were the reason I was waking up & forcing myself to eat just to read more fanfiction & feel something. Even if I was drowning in pain (I was extremely depressed), it was still something. I read every fic I could find at that time. The depression that Harry went through, all these feelings, his love for Sirius. I was living through it, I could relate.

I'm currently drowning in these two again, though in a much healthier & happier state. I see their flaws & I know as much as I can. I see them differently as an adult. They saved me, they keep being my number one, I still consider making a tattoo of Padfoot/Sirius or of both Harry & Sirius together. I have many headcanons, ideas, I write fics about them. They are everything, you see? They were my choice when there was nothing, no one. They are HOME.

6. Is 9 a funny ship or a serious ship?

Both. There goes the dynamic of Jack & Rhys: torture, fighting, flirting, a lot of trauma. I'd definitely say that they are wild and comical sometimes, but they are definitely serious. With the Asylum, the mental health issues. There is so much more to it, the complexity of their relationship. The struggle of loving who you probably shouldn't (but hey, when does it work like that?) Thinking about Tettlate's Batman, about Batman: Europa & how Joker was: "You must be crazy, putting me in charge of the plan, letting me decide. Okay, well..."

Nah, they are entertaining, but this is a serious ship.

7. Out of all the ships listed, which ship has the most chemistry?

Are you kidding me? They are all the definition of CHEMISTRY. I'd say 5, but then go 2, 6, 7, 8. Come on. I'm not choosing. Most of they are WILD.

9. How many times have you read/watched the 10’s fandom?

The fandom itself? Idk. I found one of my favourite artists through this fandom. If it's about the characters themselves, I played the first game with the DLC from start to beginning, looking around every corner. Spent more than 60 hours in there. Watched a second game (my laptop can't run the game) and the DLC (obviously), since Francis is in the DLC & not in the main game. I have a tag for them on tumblr, I read fanfiction, I tried to write my own. I still follow Elias & want a third game. Elias liked my tweets about Adam and Jensen being an actual couple a few times. I'd say I interacted with all of this a lot? Still do, actually.

10. Which ship has lasted the longest?

5. Best friends since childhood, fought & died for each other, still found their way back to each other. "It would break your Captain's heart, to see what they did to you." That only the MENTION of Steve can pull Bucky out of this brain washing(ed?) state, distract him in the middle of a fight. When Steve died in the comics because of Sharon & Tony sent Natasha to take Steve's shield from Bucky because even Tony knew how much Steve means to Bucky. And Bucky was like: "Oh, I see what he did. Not happening!" Fought Natasha (that is his ex in the comics) & kept going for Steve's sake.

Well, you see the point, I can go on and on.

11. How many times, if ever, has 6 broken up?

They're not actually canon so none? They had a few fights: In Civil war (the comics), in Homecoming (the movie).  That only means that they’ve got history & love each other.

12. If the world was suddenly thrust into a zombie apocalypse, which ship would make it out alive, 2 or 8?

As fierce Grace is, they wouldn't stand a chance against Damon & Elena. Those two had to deal with worst thing than brainless stupid zombies. On the other hand, if there were no alive humans to drink their blood... It's either an animal diet that Damon hates so much or I don't know? Still, they're faster & more powerful. Their bodies have advantage of healing the wounds as well.

13. Did 7 ever have to hide their relationship for any reason?

From some people, yeah. Don't tell Athena, don't tell Vaughn, don't tell Fiona. Though Rhys wasn't very subtle about it & Jack just doesn't give a fuck. You will probably end up dead if you disagree or bore him, or if you're useless.

"I can take you to the top, but you gotta know where the top is" & Rhys doesn't tell anybody until Jack makes him the President for like whole 20 minutes lol.

Fiona & Sasha: "This can't be happening." Sure it can, darling.

14. Is 4 still together?

I have a headcanon about The Outsider finding Emily & Corvo after Billie frees him from the Void. He doesn't have anybody & they are his only friends aside from a potential friendship with Billie. And if we don't consider TOTO dlc, they definitely are! The Outsider visits them both when they sleep & takes them to the void sometimes. How could he not?

15. Is 10 canon?

Not really but also sort of? Let's say that they really care about each other in canon, despite Adam pushing Francis away because of his trauma & fear that Megan caused him. :/

16. If all 10 ships were put into a couple’s Hunger Games, which couple would win?

Can you imagine wizards fighting extremely powerful vampires? Superheroes with venom in their bodies that make them super strong with people that made a deal with the Devil himself (hi Le Bail)? 5000 y.o. God and his lover that share his powers and an augmented human protecting his tired IT guy? Combine mental health issues to that, Jack and Rhys with Batman and Joker. Corvo & The Outsider would probably slay them all as Corvo and Emily did in both games with entire islands, though it will still be a slaughter anyway.

17. Has anybody ever tried to sabotage 5’s ship?

All the fucking time, lmaooo. I’m not even talking about it.

18. Which ship would you defend to the death and beyond?

I feel like I already did with Steve & Bucky after many Marvel movies (we're not even mentioning Endg*me, I fucking died & was dead for full 4-5 months).

19. Do you spend hours a day going through 3’s tumblr page?

I used to do that a few years back, but not anymore. There is not much content since the trilogy is finished.

20. If an evil witch descended from the sky and told you that you had to pick one of the ten ships to break up forever or else she’d break them all forever, which ship would you sink?

1 already went through it & fandom lives, so I'd say maybe 7? Rhys will find a way to bring Jack back & they are both so wild. It’s what happened in canon anyway. Jack kidnapped Lilith & forced her to do Angel's job, so I'd like to see that witch try at first. Jack is an immortal bastard. <3

Now that I think about it, Corvo would also deal with her in seconds as she waits to curse them.

As a conclusion: no one breaks up forever, we're killing the witch.

I tag: @ianmillkovichgallagher​ & @aledbr​

Whoever else wants to join the game, please do.

[soldieronbarnes]

Malec prompt - My homophobic parents are coming to visit will you pretend to date me as an extra “fuck you”?

Uhhh this…..completely got away from me? It’s a lot longer and a lot angstier than it was supposed to be….sorry? Not sorry? idk.

___

“Okay, what is wrong withyou?”

The question - and particularly the accusingtone of it - shakes Alec out of his stupor. It’s a testament to how out of ithe is that the only response he manages is an intelligent “huh?” 

He blinks, shaking his head to clear his head,but in the end, Magnus Bane is still standing in front of him, a stack of bookshugged to his chest and eyebrows raised and it’s - well, it’s a lot. It’s alwaysa lot, to be the focus of his attention, to be faced with his….everything:his incandescent beauty, his razor sharp wit and brilliant mind, his smoothcharm or his biting contempt. 

Alec flounders. Magnus Bane is the secret starof all his late-night fantasies, his verbal sparring partner in their shared Introduction to Clave Law class andall-around thorn in Alec’s side. 

They snipe at each other a lot.

What they don’t do is talkoutside of class.

Alec quickly runs through a mental inventory ofthings he might have done to offend Magnus so horrendously that he’s corneringhim in the corridor, eyes blazing, and comes up empty. Unless his mouthdeveloped a mind of its own in the last sixty minutes, there’s nothing he couldhave possibly said. And if there’s one thing that Alec knows how to do is makesure nothing unintended ever slips out of his mouth, to keep his closelyguarded secrets.

“I didn’t do anything,” Alec defendshimself. 

“Exactly,” Magnus says irritably. 

“I don’t follow,” Alec admits. 

“You didn’t participate once this session.What, do you want to tell me the professor can drone on and on about thelegitimacy of Downworlder discrimination and you don’t have an opinion on that?No raising your hand to offer your…..valuable insights?”

“What, are you my professor now?” Alec says,snippy. “I don’t need lectures from you on how active participation is abig part of the final grade.”

“That’s not why I’m asking.”

The last thing he needs right now is picking afight with Magnus, but he can’t help it. “Why are you asking?I’m sure you enjoy class less when you don’t have a convenient punching bag foryour arguments, but newsflash: I don’t owe you an explanation on why I don’twanna engage in that. It’s not like it’s any of your business.” 

“Well, I’m sorry for stepping on your toes byexpressing my concern for your general well-being,” Magnus snaps. “GuessI’ll remove my lowly Downworlder self from your presence before I leave a stainon your perfect reputation or something.”

For the third time in their brief conversation,Alec is completely thrown. “I - that’s not - what?” 

Now that he sees actual fury on Magnus’handsome face, covering up a brief flash of something that looked almost likegenuine hurt, he realises that the expression Magnus wore before was lessfurious and more….furiously concerned. 

He doesn’t think he’s ever been this confusedin his life.

“Magnus, wait!” He struggles to catch up withMagnus’ quick strides – he has a head start, and he’s surprisingly tall, but inthe end, as they’re hurrying down the deserted corridor that leads to the notoriouslyill-tempered professor Fell’s office, Alec’s freakishly long legs win out. “Magnus,will you just –“

He grabs him by the biceps, and Magnus whirlsaround faster than lightning. To his credit, he doesn’t punch Alec in the face.Maia, he knows, would have had a much more violent reaction to being seizedlike this. Most Downworlders would – recent attempts to smooth things overbetween the different factions in the Shadow World haven’t done much to assuagerational fears and suspicions based on several centuries of near constantoppression and maltreatment.

“Sorry, I – sorry,” he blurts out, quicklywithdrawing his hand. “I shouldn’t have grabbed you like that.”

“Don’t worry, I’m not contagious, despite whatyour precious Clave might tell you,” Magnus sneers.

“Can you just stop for a second?” Alec snaps. “Don’tput words in my mouth!”

“Why would I?”

“I’m trying to apologise here!”

That seems to take Magnus aback. “For what?”

Alec takes a deep breath. “I – don’t reallyknow what’s going on here,” he admits, waving his hand around in what he hopesis a sufficiently all-encompassing gesture. “I mean, we don’t really….talk, andI guess I was confused and had my hackles up, because I was having a shit dayanyways but – none of that is your fault, and I shouldn’t have taken it out onyou. So I’m sorry.”

Magnus cocks his head. “I appreciate thethought, but as you so astutely pointed out, you don’t owe me an explanation.”

“I did owe you the apology, though.”

Magnus hums contemplatively, and, against allodds, lingers. Alec knows a challenge when he sees one, or maybe it’s aninvitation – he’s misjudged Magnus’ intentions before. He doesn’t really wantto talk about it but – well, if he’s honest, it does grate on him to not havehis siblings around, constantly needling him until he talks about what’sbothering him, and he doesn’t really have friends here to confide in.

He’s been told that friendships often formbetween roommates just by virtue of being stuck with one person in closequarters for a long time, but his roommate Raj is a grade-a asshole, and otherthan that, his options are limited; there aren’t many Shadowhunters here, andthose that do attend generally think he’s insane for being the only one Nephilimvoluntarily choosing to go to thefirst integrated college when he was good enough to attend theShadowhunter-only and highly acclaimed Idris Academy. The Downworlders, on theother hand, who make up a majority of the student body, are all understandablywary and tend to avoid him when they can. He’s cordial enough with a lot ofpeople, but there’s no one he would say he’s actually close to. He’s gettingthere with Maia, he thinks, who’s brazen enough to yell at him and so fargrudgingly impressed by the lack of times he’s given her an actual incentive tostart a fistfight.

So maybe it’s a need for connection, or maybeit’s the fact that Magnus is everything Alec isn’t while simultaneouslyprobably one of the few people who might understand, that causes Alec to talk.

“Campus tours are next week.”

“I’m aware,” Magnus replies, raising hiseyebrows at the sort of non-sequitur.

“My siblings are thinking about going here aswell and – that means the whole family is coming. Including my parents.”

“I take it that will not be a joyous reunion?”

“Uh, no. They’re still angry with me for not goingto Idris like they wanted and –“ Alec hesitates briefly, and then decides tonot give a fuck. The truth is going to be out there soon one way or another. “Andeven angrier with my ruining the marriage they had arranged for me.”

The first, he had been able to mostly explainaway with logical arguments about Shadowhunter politics – if he was supposed tolead an Institute one day and work with Downworlders, he’d need to get a betterunderstanding of them, especially in the changing political climate. The latter– not so much.

Magnus looks almost at a loss for words. “It ismy understanding that arranged marriages are so traditional for Shadowhuntersthat they are virtually unavoidable,” he says cautiously.

“Basically.”

“Another way for you to rebel, then?” Magnussuggests. “Fighting for more freedom of choice?”

Alec shakes his head. “It’s not the arrangementpart that I couldn’t handle. I know my duties, my responsibilities, that’s not –that wasn’t the problem. Many of the couples end up kind of happy, anyway.”

“What part disagreed with you that much, then?”Magnus asks softly. He can probably see where this is going, judging by the wayhe’s now clearly careful of his words and by the way his entire demeanour seemsto soften.

He takes a deep breath, and steels himself. Hishands are trembling, which is stupid – everyone on campus knows that MagnusBane will judge you for pretty much everything, but not for this.  There’s no one else around – everyone knows tomake a wide berth around professor Fell’s office at all times. “The part whereI was supposed to marry a woman.”

Magnus goes to say something, but Alec barrels on.He’s not sure he could stand to hear some supposedly affirming and supportiveplatitudes right now. “They’ll forgive me for the choice of college eventually,I guess, but – not that. Don’t – please don’t say you’re sorry or whatever.Just – it’s just the way it is. I’ll deal with it.”

Magnus accepts that with a nod, and remainsquiet for a long moment. “So what’s the plan?” is what he eventually asks.

It’s not the question Alec was expecting. “Sorry?”

“For the upcoming visit of hell,” Magnusclarifies.

Alec shakes his head. “There is no plan. Getthrough it, I guess. Izzy and Jace will try to intervene when things get out ofhand or take some of the family heat if possible, but there isn’t much thatwill stop them.” He shrugs a little helplessly.

“So what, you’re just going to keep your head downand take it?”

“You got a problem with that?”

“No,” Magnus says quietly. “It just doesn’tseem like your style. You don’t generally strike me as the type of person to letsomething like this slide without a fight.”

“How would you know?” Alec asks, and oh, he’sgetting defensive again now.

Magnus doesn’t take the bait this time. “Alexander,”he says, “as much as we disagree on howthings should change, or how quickly steps must be taken, I haven’t ever seenyou defend a bigoted law or damaging stereotypes. Why are you willing to defendpeople like me from people like your parents, but not yourself?”

Oh, but he had forgotten how scarily perceptiveMagnus can be. “It probably won’t even be that bad,” Alec says, desperatelytrying to deflect. “I’m sure they’ll just use the fact that I’m single to arguethat I’m just confused and will change my mind and it’ll be fine once theyconvince themselves of that.”

For a brief moment, Magnus looks angry. He doesn’tthink anyone but his siblings has ever been angry on his behalf. It’s a strangeexperience. “Sounds like you need a boyfriend to show off to them to stop thatludicrous line of thinking once and for all.”

“Well, I don’t have a boyfriend, so –“

“You could have a boyfriend,” Magnus sayseasily.

Alec snorts. “Yeah, right. Magnus, half thepeople at school won’t even look at me, and I’m not really good at this kind ofthing anyway. Plus, even if I didfind someone to go out with me – who’d want to meet my parents after a week?”

“It wouldn’t need to be real.”

“What, like, hire someone? No one would go forthat, and if I have to pay someone to date me – well, I’d rather spare myselfthat particular humiliation.”

Magnus bites his lip, almost nervously. “Iwould do it,” he offers hesitantly.

Alec stares.

“For free, even,” Magnus adds. “I’m always infavour of sticking it to homophobic and racist bigots.”

“Uh,” Alec says dumbly. “You do know who myparents are, right?”

“The Lightwoods are rather famous, yes,” Magnus says drily.

“Then you know how they’d react to –“ Wordsfail him. He can only weakly gesture between the two of them.

Magnus smiles bitterly. “They are rather famousfor that as well, so yes.”

“Why would you –“ Alec falters. “Why would youwillingly subject yourself to that? Why would anyone – I mean, they’re my family, it’s not like I have a choice – but you shouldn’t have tosuffer through that. Not ever and – you get enough crap from Shadowhunterswithout painting a huge, deliberate target on your back for me.”

In front of him, Magnus’ eyes hold an infinitesadness that threatens to choke Alec. “You know,” he muses, “when I first heardthat the Lightwood heir was going to go the same school as me, I was expecting –well, I was expecting many things, none of them pleasant. But you – I don’tthink I could have predicted a single thing about you. At every turn, youcontinue to surprise me. Look – “ he continues, “if you don’t want to go for itbecause it’s – too much for you, I get it. But if you’re only turning me downto protect me, don’t bother. I don’t need anyone to protect me. There’s nothingthey could say to me that I haven’t heard a thousand times before.”

“That doesn’t make it better,” Alec argues hotly.“You shouldn’t have to hear it at all.”

“And neither should you,” Magnus points out. “ButI can assure you, in my experience, if it can’t be avoided, then it’s easier ifyou have someone there to help you through it, to have your back. You don’thave to do everything alone, Alec.”

It’s – it’s too much. The magnitude of Magnus’offer sends him reeling. Even worse is the heady feeling of being judged byMagnus Bane and being found worthy when that notion of getting his approval isutterly ludicrous to him. Magnus shouldn’t choose him. Not like this, not ever,maybe. When Alec had run after him he’d at best expected a chance to extend an olivebranch that would help them get back to the way things were. A part of himthink he shouldn’t even be contemplating it, but –

It would be so good to not be alone in this,for once.

He draws in a shaky breath. “It’d be ugly,” hewarns.

Magnus’ smile is small and lopsided, but it’s there.“Fighting for something important usually is.”

“Right.”

“Do you have class now?”

Alec blinks at the sudden change of topic. “Notuntil five.”

“Then how about we get some coffee and just –talk, figure things out?”

“Yeah. Yeah, sure, that sounds good.”

Magnus’s smile widens, soft and sweet andgenuine. It’s the first full smile he’s ever directed and Alec, and Alec thinks– if he just keeps smiling at him like that, then Alec can do anything, getthrough everything the world and his parents throw at him.

His heart is fluttering in his chest, and itfeels a lot like hope.

[comfysocksfirst]

Chihayafuru as NBA Players!! Part 1

Oh Man!! Two of my great loves Chihayafuru and basketball. Finally they meet. No one asked for this. This is most likely an incredibly small venn diagram of converging interests.Nonetheless here it is which NBA player is the real world equal of which Chihayafuru character. Note: I tend to skew more current with my NBA picks mostly cause that’s what I’m most familiar with but also because it is much more difficult to know those older players’ personalities. One more note I just now decided to include runner-up choices for some people I think it will mostly be a jokey runner up. Wataya Arata: Oh boy let’s start hot! My second favorite character in the series he is the Karuta God and the True soul-mate to Chihaya. Disagree? Fite me. He is STEPHEN CURRY. Karuta is the family business. He is the legacy one born to devastate. I could see Nicki Minaj dropping Arata’s name in her songs calling out to him all at hours talking about those eyes, that accent, and that water-like play style that has her downing gallons of his essence. He’s also perfectly chill to outer appearances. Everyone thinks he’s having a good time win or lose but they don’t notice how he’s smiling at them while he is steadily inching closer to dropping 50 on them. Shinobu Wakamiya: I’m not letting up with this second name. My all time favorite characther in the series.Sharpest dresser in the hemisphere. The youngest Queen of all. You know this. She is KOBE. And not one to be fucked with. She brings that Mamba Mentality to all she does whether it’s destroying her opponents 25-0 or slinging them pastries she takes no prisoners. She’s eked out every drop of potential she possesses with constant practice and total devotion to Karuta. She’s all about that grind and sees the game in a way only she can some would even say it’s crazy??? Anyone and everyone trying to take cards from her is her enemy and she’ll cut them if given chance when they take some of her favorites. Runner-up: Michael Jordan. The GOAT. I like that the similarity that they both pushed away and oftentimes used the people around them in order to get better. But ultimately didn’t go with MJ cause he walked away from the game at his peak for a year and change and I don’t see Shinobu ever doing that. Chihaya Ayase: The protagonist. Lady Big Eyes. Mrs. Daddy Bear. President/Founder/(Only Member??) of the Chitose Appreciation Society. She’s gotta be GIANNIS. A physical freak who’s sheer athleticism catapults her puts her in the realm of Class A. Everywhere Giannis goes he draws them eyes and the same can said of this beauty who can rattle her male opponents with a smile or even just eye contact. Who else is on Giannis’ team? What? Can’t name anyone else cause you’re not a basketball fan? Well let me tell you even if you were a fan you might struggle cause he’s carrying that team on his back! And so is this young lady. They got some good players on this squad but this Ace knows well that is she don’t win and cruise through to victory it could adversely affect her team’s psyche so she is unstoppable on her own much like Giannis’ fast breaks. Runner-up: Ben Simmons was my first choice for her but ultimately I decided against him cause I think he’s not a great team player and I don’t think he’s serious enough about improving his deficiencies. I thought these runner ups were supposed to be funny??? IDK Kanade Oe: KENDRICK PERKINS. I’m kinda running out of steam here. And I got a long list to go. Kana-chan and Kendrick both top heavy. I never really noticed until they made it a topic of discussion in the mini-comic. But damn yeah definitely carrying a lot of weight on top.  She’s also the team enforcer. Hear me out on this. Sure she’s small but she’s probably the most serious of all the team. Serious about life, about how people should behave, about the beauty of Karuta. And if anyone is disrespecting the poems--You better hold her back!! She will get into the face of anyone lowkey Empress in the making. She’s also a big small voice in the locker room a different type of leader than Ayase and Taichi. She knows what poems people need to hear to click back in into the present. Perk is an old-school kind of player and Kana-chan has an old-school mentality and while both were important members of their title winning teams they weren’t close to being the focus. Midori Tamaru: I actually forgot I wrote a write-up for her! Cool I’m glad I did. She is LUKA DONCIC. She is a shit-talker supreme. She wants all the smoke and she got all the weapons. Big-time potential. Everyone saying to her Wait your turn. But Fuck It she says and is ready to shoot her shot. Drop a cold 3 at the buzzer to win a playoff game in front of a 10 year vet who’s desperate for a win. They’re both missing one critical aspect of their game. For Luka he needs to increase his stamina for Tamaru she needs to get mentally tough. Right now she can most definitely be fucked with and she may be the only one that don’t know it. But any team with her is going to be in the conversation for best in their region and they should be looking to book a hotel by the big red shrine every year. Dr. Harada: Da Big Bear. Brown Bear? Black Bear? Daddy Bear? He all da bear. A walking a build-a-bear-workshop. What’s that mean? I have no clue. This guy. There’s a reason he was Ayase’s first love. He cuddly af but he still got that tenacity and overwhelming physicality that keeps him happily married decades later and a Karuta vet to be feared. I went with a non-contemporary player for the Dr. and no not Dr.J but rather his teammate MOSES MALONE. Nicknamed the Chairman of the Board cause he throws his body into every rebound lunging wildly at each miss cause he KNOWS that every rebound is his by right. Yeah that sound our friend the bear. Moses played a looooong time longer maybe than one might think considering the era he played in and how physical his game was. But that incredible body of his allowed him to stay in the game as long as wanted throwing elbows to clear out any close competition. Alright I’m tired Part 2 to come soon. It’s already written out I just HATE transcribing. There’s another 9 characters to come! Let me know what you all think please. Am I alone in my dual NBA and Chihayafuru fandom??

[ansheofthevalley]

Lol the opinion among jonerice fans that if Jon's POV was a thing in the end and if the show had more time, then would be shown how gladly he accepts his Targ side, wearing Targ colours and shit

You’re talking about Jon having embraced his Targ roots in the case his POV wasn’t purposefully obscured and had the season been longer, nonny? In that case...

strongly agree | agree | neutral | disagree | totally feel the opposite

I’ve written about Jon and the RLJ reveal and how it affected the political and personal landscape for the characters, namely the Starks and Daenerys. (x) (x) (x)

Unfortunately, the fact that his POV was purposefuly obscure leaves things up to interpretation, things that shouldn’t be up to interpretation (especially since we’re talking about the last season of the series). One of those things is the matter of Jon’s parentage reveal. The main problem I have (that many people have, really) is that RLJ wasn’t even about him. It was used as a plot device to Dany’s arc, a way to make her wary and suspicious of Jon. It was all about Daenerys: how she reacted to it, what she made of it, how it changed her relationship with Jon, when it simply shouldn’t have been that way. RLJ was about Jon. 

The only true reaction we got from him is when Sam tells him the truth and he says to him the following:

J: My father was the most honorable man I’ve ever met. You’re saying he lied to me all my life?

That’s it. That’s the only reaction we have from him learning that Ned lied to him. That he wasn’t actually his son but his nephew. That his mother was Lyanna Stark and that his real father was Rhaegar Targaryen.

The next time RLJ comes up is in 8x02 when Jon tells Dany. I won’t go in depth since I already did that in previous metas, but it’s in this moment that RLJ starts being about Dany. But there’s something we can save from the scene and that’s Dany’s body language:

Physically, she’s rejecting what Jon’s saying (that he’s Rhaegar’s son). And she does. She does say “it’s impossible”. The scene ends with her saying:

D: If it were true, it would make you the last male heir of House Targaryen. You’d have a claim to the Iron Throne.

And just after she finishes her line, war horns can be heard. We get tidbits hinting at a possible conflict brewing between Jon and Dany because of RLJ but it’s all subtext.

RLJ is mentioned yet again in 8x04. In the Jon-Dany scene, the conflict is made explicit: Dany wants Jon to hide the truth. Jon wants to tell Sansa and Arya. Dany tells him of the dangers in telling Sansa. Jon insists. Dany puts him in a position in which he has to choose.

Now, this scene and the scene with the Starklings in the Godswood is crucial as to why I don’t believe Jon would’ve embraced his Targ roots. By telling Sansa and Arya, he chooses the Starks, he reaffirms his allegiance to the Starks, albeit not explicitly, but more in a defiant way towards Dany. Why do I say this? Because the reveal has deep political connotations. It puts Jon as a viable third option, when before it was “choose between a lesser evil” between Cersei and Daenerys. It undermines Daenerys and her war for conquest. Dany knows that if the truth gets out, her whole campaign will be damaged. After all, she’s a stranger in Westeros, and a would-be Conqueror with WMD at that. Jon, on the other hand, is a respected military man with experience in leadership and comes from a well-respected and ancient house. He’s also loved and respected by the people.

In their 8x04 scene, Dany asks him not to tell the truth. Something worth mentioning is the power imbalance between them. Though it is more subtle, the monarch-subject dynamic is still there:

J: I’ll refuse. You are my Queen. I don’t know what else I can say.

D: You can say nothing to anyone, ever. Never tell them who you really are. Swear your brother and Samwell Tarly to secrecy and tell no one else.

J: You are my Queen. Nothing will change that. And they’re my family. We can live together.

Jon constantly refers to her as “my Queen”, while Dany reinforces her authority every time she can. Jon doesn’t see her as family, nor does he see her as a romantic partner. For him, Daenerys is an authority figure, and a powerful one at that, while maintaining again and again that the Starks are his family. If we want to go deeper, I’d say this scene right here plays right into the duty vs love dichotomy present in Jon’s arc.

As I said before, Dany puts him in a position in which he has to choose: he either does his duty and does as his Queen tells him or he tells his loved ones the truth, forsaking his duty by doing so. As we’ve seen, he chooses the latter (one could also argue that he has a duty to the Starks, since they’re his family; in that case, if we choose to see it like that, we can find both ends of the dichotomy in the Starks, in which he’s not obliged to forsake one or the other). From that moment forward, he just reinforces his choice: in 8x05 when he rejects Dany after Varys’ execution and in 8x06 when he decides to kill Dany when he comes to terms that it’s very likely she will burn Sansa for treason.

There’s no way Jon would’ve been all Targ by the end of the series, simply because it wasn’t possible. His whole arc was driven by two things: duty and belonging. His identity, both as a bastard and as a secret Targ prince, play right into his struggle to belong. Jon’s a Stark, all but in name. And that’s exactly his problem, that he doesn’t have the name he identifies with. He (and pretty much everyone) thinks he’s a bastard but he’s as much of a Stark as any of the Starklings, and when it’s revealed that he isn’t actually a bastard but a Targaryen, the problem is still there because he doesn’t see himself as a Targaryen, he still sees himself as a Stark. After learning the truth, he still wears northern/Stark colors, he still refers to himself as Jon Snow, in no opportunity do we see him asserting himself as Rhaegar’s heir. He sees the North as his home. He sees the Starks as his family. Sure, he distances himself a bit from the name, knowing that he will never be a Stark by name, the one thing he desired ever since he was a little boy (as of the series finale, that’s another problem I have IDK if I should call it problem tho with the ending, that it was left open to any interpretation without any sense of direction the characters could’ve taken post-series). It’s also worth mentioning the different reactions to his true parentage got from both sides of his family: the Starks still refer to him as a brother, while Daenerys never acknowledged him as her nephew, as a Targ. 

TL;DR:  From a narrative perspective, Jon’s wish to belong is tied exclusively to the Starks, not the Targs. Every time he was presented with a choice to choose between the Starks and the Targaryens, he always ended up choosing the Starks. He identifies with House Stark, even after learning the truth about his parentage. Jon is a Stark, all but in name. 

Send me a GOT opinion and I’ll tell you if I agree

[nastybuckybarnes]

Sick Day

Pairing: Bucky x Reader

Summary: you tell a little white lie to escape Avenging for a day, and Bucky finds out. He’s hurt and upset, until he finds out your reason why.

Warnings: Fluff, Angst, Strong Language, Making Out

Word Count: 1.5K

A/n: hi sorry if this is shit. Im tired and I have ideas but idk how to make them good.

Request: 

Would you mind doing a fic where Bucky finds out you faked a sick day to have a day off away from him and all the avenging to hang out with some old friends (one of them an old flame). A fight ensues but it ends in fluff 

MASTERLIST

~*~

“You okay, (Y/n)? You don’t look too hot,” Steve says upon seeing you walk into the kitchen.

“I feel like shit.” It’s not a total lie, what with your ability to heal or harm with your mind, you’ve given yourself a little illness.

“We’ve got an assignment though. Are you... will you be able to go?” Wanda asks gently. You shake your head, pushing your hair back to try and cool yourself down.

“The last one took a toll on my body I guess. I never get sick and my powers need time to restore.” That’s not a lie either, the last mission was brutal. With nearly everyone having an injury, you almost passed out after healing them.

“Go lie down in bed, Doll. I’ll give you a kiss before we leave.” You look up at Bucky then nod, rubbing your eyes and half-stumbling to your room.

True to his word, Bucky kisses your heated cheeks and forehead before apologizing that he couldn’t stay with you.

Waving off his apologies you let him leave, waiting for half an hour before healing yourself and hopping out of bed.

You dress quickly then leave the compound, excited to finally have a break from the heavy life of Avenging.

~*~

(Y/n)! You came!” Dean exclaims, pulling you into a tight hug. You giggle, looking up at him and then his younger brother. “Of course I did! I needed a break from anything anyway. God, it’s so good to see you guys again! I honestly never thought I’d say this, but I missed your stench.” The two men laugh, sharing a look with each other.

“Yeah, you haven't exactly smelt like some roses yourself,” Sam says while wrinkling his nose.

Did you have a history with the brothers? Yes. Dean specifically? Yes. Is that all in the past now? Yes yes yes yes yes.

“So, how about some nice juicy burgers and a couple rounds at the bar? On you, (Y/n). Of course.” You punch the elder Winchester in the arm but agree, getting into the Impala with the two brothers, quickly falling into an old pattern.

~*~

“(Y/n)? Doll? You okay in there?” Bucky asks from outside of your door. He knocks a few more times, worry filling him as you don’t answer.

“Doll, I hope you’re decent ‘cause I’m coming in!” He pushes the door open and frowns as he looks around, not seeing you anywhere.

“FRIDAY where’s (Y/n)?”

“Agent (Y/l/n) left the building two hours ago. Her phone indicates she’s at a diner ten minutes from here.” He furrows his brows. “Is she alright?” “Yes, Sir. She seems to be having a good time with two men. Sam and Dean Winchester.”

He frowns at the names and leaves your room, ready to do some research on these two strange men.

~

“So, is there anyone special in your life now, (Y/n)?” A tipsy Dean asks from across the booth. You roll your eyes but nod. “Yeah. He’s... he’s sweet. I really like him and I mean, we’re kinda getting somewhere. It started when we were sparring. I... I was doing that thing that I do, you know, where I kinda get onto their shoulders and thrust my hips to get them to fall back?” The two men nod, amusement written clear as day on their faces.

“Well I tried that, but he’s so fucking solid that it didn’t do anything and we were just kinda stuck with my fucking cunt right in his face. It was awkward cause we stayed like that for a few moments but then he helped me down and it’s just kinda been flirty since then.” Dean smiles and elbows his younger brother. “(Y/n)’s in love.” You stick your tongue out at them but don’t disagree, warmth filling you as you think about Bucky.

“Well, I think you should go for it. Tell him how much he means to you. How much you care about him. Then pop out a few babies and name ‘em after me.” You throw your napkin at him and laugh, enjoying the break from avenging.

When you get home a few hours later, your stomach drops as you enter your room.

“Did you have a good time with Sam and Dean?” Bucky asks harshly, glaring up at you from the bed.

“Yes. I did,” you reply softly, knowing there’s no point in lying to him. “Dean your ex?” You sigh and set your stuff down. “Yes. Why? Do you have a problem?” He stands up and glares at you. “Yes, I do. You faked being sick! I was so fucking worried about you (Y/n)! I couldn’t fucking believe it when I found you weren’t actually sick. And when I came home and saw you and you weren’t here... fuck I couldn’t believe it. I was panicking. I thought that you were in the hospital o-or that you got caught and taken. Fuck you scared me half to death. But no, you were out with your fucking ex-boyfriend.”

You turn and glare at him. “What’s the fucking big deal?! You’re not my boyfriend Bucky! You’re not my dad and you’re not the boss of me! I can go out with whoever I want to go out with and you can’t fucking stop me!”

He stalks towards you but you stay planted firmly in place.

“I’m not your boyfriend, no. But I thought something was happening between us. I fucking thought...” He scoffs and shakes his head, glaring at you. “I never thought you would stoop so low. You fucking led me on just to be like everyone else.” You glare up at him, grab his throat, then spin around and slam him against the wall with a strength you didn't know you had.

“You absolute oblivious fucking asshole! You wanna know what Dean and I were talking about?! You! How much I fucking like you and how I should make a fucking move! But you’re too fucking stuck in your ‘poor me’ headspace to think that maybe not everyone is out to hurt you! Maybe, just fucking maybe, someone wants to give you a chance and open up to you and love you!”

You’re panting hard and glaring at him as angry tears fill your eyes, only frustrating you further. You let go of him and turn away as the tears drop down your cheeks.

“You of all people should understand what it’s like to need a break from avenging. I thought you’d understand. But you clearly don't, so leave.”

It’s quiet for a few moments, besides your sniffling, and you can’t help the sobs that threaten to overtake your figure.

A cool hand is suddenly on your waist, pulling you back against a warm torso.

“I’m sorry (Y/n). I’m so so sorry.” You can’t contain your tears anymore. You sob softly into yourself, squeezing your eyes shut as he wraps his arms around you.

“Fuck, I’m so sorry. I didn’t realize...” He trails off and presses his lips to the top of your head as you cry out all your frustrations.

“You mean the entire world to me. When I came to check on you and found that you weren’t here... I was so afraid for you. And then I found out you were out with your ex and... I was just so consumed by jealousy that... I wasn’t thinking. And I’m sorry.”

You wipe your nose on your sleeve then turn around, looking up at him. “You hurt my feelings a lot, James.” He cups your cheeks and sighs. “I wish I could take back what I said. I was out of line and I was wrong. Forgive me?” You nod, closing your eyes as he leans down a fraction of an inch.

His warm breath hits your lips and you wait to feel the softness of his lips against yours.

It takes him a moment to build up to courage, but when he does you’re more than grateful.

His lips taste salty, from his own tears, you realize. They’re soft and gentle and slightly chapped. You can’t get enough of it.

Your hands find their way to his hair and you tug gently, gasping as he nips at your bottom lip. One of his hands finds its way to your lower back as he slips his tongue into your mouth. You can’t hold back the high-pitched whimper that leaves you at this, and Bucky chuckles softly, pulling back and looking into your eyes.

“That’s what I should've done instead of getting mad at you,” he whispers softly, his nose bumping against yours. You nod, eyes hooded as you look up at him.

“Yeah. But you didn’t. So I think that means you have to make up for it.” He raises his eyebrows then hoists you up, giving you no choice but to wrap your legs around his waist.

“Oh, I plan to.”

~*~

TAGS:

PERMANENT TAGS: @smolbeanbucky  @wildefire  @inumorph  @impalatobakerstreet  @nanna022  @mummy-woves-you  @m-a-t-91 @wtfholland  @bookgirlunicorn @beautifulwisdom2001  @deep-sea-glitter @mrhiddles-81 @iamwarrenspeace @bitchacho25 @escapetheshackles @i-know-i-can @buckyssoul @avnngrs

MARVEL: @fallenangelfangirl @look-to-the-stars-and-wish @maladaptive-ninja-returns @cliffordasparagus  @april-14-blog @potteritis

BUCKY: @chuuulip @nerd-without-a-cause @natashasnight 

[incantsava]

things skam italia did: that

(this is probably gonna be long, so brace yourselves lmao)

so i’m not gonna delve into the aesthetics and all that (even though the symbolism on this one is fucking amazing - incantava reuniting between different shades of greenery aka ele’s happy place? wow, iconic. never been done before)

so i’m gonna start with the apology, because that’s the thing most people are focusing on. THANK FUCKING GOD is all i have to say. the one issue i always had with this scene, and in general how the williams acted after the reunion, is the fact that none of them apologized (that we saw) for the way they were acting. i can understand why they acted the way they did, but i could never forgive the fact that none of them seemed to acknowledge their shitty behavior. (side note, i know noah kinda did during text, but i’m focusing more on things we actually saw during the clip). i was so fucking relieved when i saw this clip. i knew they were gonna have him apologize, because it made sense. i also loved how, even though he was gonna leave without talking to her, and break things off for good (however shitty that decision may have been) he couldn’t go through with it without apologizing first. someone say character development? we love her.

now the ‘you didn’t trust me so i don’t wanna trust you’ line. i admit, i’m not the biggest fan of that, and i will always, always criticize the content i’m watching. after reading a few posts and opinions, i managed to figure out how i’m feeling about this one. so, let’s be honest here, the line’s not great. what makes it a tiny bit better, is the delivery (kudos to gian). the way it was said, it was supposed to seem... forced, i guess is the word i would use. when i heard it, it sounded so rushed, like something he said because he couldn’t stand being there anymore, and he needed a way out, a way to escape. it sounded like a lie. (much like in ep 5, when he apologized about his brother and said some bs about how he was depressed) it sounded like bs because giancarlo did it on purpose, to make us understand that this is not how he is actually  feeling. i don’t know if this made sense, but it was how i managed to interpret it lmao. feel free to disagree :)

i liked how they had ele act during the scene. when he apologized, she didn’t say anything, some bullshit like how ‘it’s okay’ (bc it’s not). she just nodded. accepted his apology because it was needed, and moved on. also, i liked the loving roast she gave him about his dumb choice to leave lmao. she was right, and she said it.

now what absolutely BROKE me was when she tried to put his hand on her waist and tried to kiss him. you could just tell how much it was killing him not to be able to touch her, you could see it in his eyes, in his body language, he was so close to giving in.... but he didn’t. 

i think you all know that i’m not the biggest fan of the ‘walk away and then run back’ scene. but here i... didn’t mind it? it seemed less dramatic, more them, the way he slowly approached her, still unsure of what he’s doing. i liked how when ele turned around, she let out this huge ass sigh like ‘this fucking idiot’. it seemed much more genuine imo idk.

the kiss, oh god the kiss. it ruined me. it felt like after being suffocated for so long and then finally being able to breathe in. it felt exactly like a breath of fresh air. don’t even get me started on the hug because oh holy Shit. their little family is finally together again.

another aspect that made this clip for me was the ele and filo dynamic. i was complaining about the lack of brother and sister scenes just yesterday, and god did skam italia deliver. i loved everything about this. their hug at the end made my heart go whoosh. also the way he tried to literally peel her from him after seeing edo lowkey made me laugh out loud lmao.

finally, the acting. the acting is what really got me. holy shit giancarlo and benni fucking delivered. again. i mean, i knew they would, cause they’ve been doing it all season, but still. i am amazed every time i see them on screen together. giancarlo delivered every single fucking emotion edo was feeling and it was perfect. i understood everything without having him say the words. and seeing ele cry like that, grasping onto filo with her dear life.... wow benni deserves an oscar for that alone :)

so, all in all, if you’ve managed to get through this mess of a post, i thank you, and you are braver than the us marines lmao. 

once again, i know i complain about this show a lot, and most of the time it’s all in good fun, i really wanna let you guys know how fucking much this show and this season especially means to me. it’s literally my home. these characters are so close to my heart, and i am so happy they’re doing them justice. this show has its flaws, and believe me, i’m the first to point them out, but damn it, i loved how they handled this. i really really do.

now, cue the fluff!

seriously, the last episode better consist of straight up fluff after this hell month

ok im done lmao sorry for rambling. and im always open for discussions, so my inbox is open :)

[c-sand]

You said that GOT kept pushing that Sansa could betray the Starks/Jon any minute but I wonder: did it? Or was that fandom's interpretation whenever she was in conflict b/c Sansa can do no good to them? Maisie said Arya was supposed to come off to the villain in the Winterhell plot; but fandom's love of her made them take her side. Idk it's possible they never meant for Sansa's conflicts to be judged so b&w (but they f'ed up the execution enough for fandom to have the wiggle room to blame her).

(forewarning that this answer is a hot mess express and i’m just rambling)

I think it did, yeah. Not on the show, really, but outside of it. In Show, fandom interpretation is a massive part of it, that’s for sure. But, I also think that GOT had the idea constantly pushed in cast interviews. Because, while we had people like Maisie saying such about Arya (and people subsequently not listening, because everyone loves her and Arya and haha isn’t she funny??) (she is funny, what a great gal, we stan), everyone else was constantly talking about Sansa’s tensions with This Character, That Character, That Character Over There – even when the tension barely existed or wasn’t relationship ending. Sansa’s questionable motivations.

It’s almost like people came to GOT each season waiting for “THIS season!!” or “OKAY NOW THIIIIIS season!!!” to be the one where her “real colors” were shown and she pulled off her wolf hat to reveal her flayed winged lion’s mane billowing in the breeze – and the interviews seemingly reflected that.

(Which is fair, if you don’t like Sansa and were hoping it was all going to come to light. I mean, I’ve thought Dny was a villain for seven and a half seasons and had been waiting for the day she inevitably destroyed Kings Landing, so people waiting for Sansa to drop kick Jon Snow into Sparta’s big ‘ol hole out back isn’t that much different, I guess. Apart from the fact that the main thing suggesting Sansa was going to do that was a first round draft outline that GRRM had long ago discarded.)

Before S7, they were constantly talking about how Sansa and Jon were at horrible odds and struggling with each other and how she undermines him and his authority (”undermining him” being having literally three differing opinions: we need to have some sort of standard on actual treason, you can’t immediately abandon me and our people to go to a foreign invader you don’t know who’s family has a history off killing us, and I agree The Dead is Very The Most Serious because I actually have faith in you, but I’m telling you we can’t forget the Cersei exists, because she is dangerous too). 

But, then we actually watched them and he wouldn’t tell her his plans (so obviously she’s frustrated), then they would disagree about something about the plans he didn’t tell her about and he’d tell her not to speak against him in public about things she learned on the spot…in public, and then she would extend an olive branch to mend the small tiff before it became anything more. But, the way it was spoken about before any of it aired was that it was going to be succcccch a bigger deal. Which, of course, everyone heard and latched onto, because they wanted her to turn against him and the family and the North.

When it came to the actual show, as opposed to interviews, fan interpretation is where the narrative comes in. They had the whole Arya V. Sansa plot line about how Arya thought Sansa was trying to take everything from Jon, but everything from Sansa throughout her and Jon’s entire relationship up until that point (and after) never agreed with Arya’s point of view. So, really she ended up looking like a psycho who needed to calm down and Sansa looked like a girl who was afraid that her seemingly assassin sister was literally threatening to murder her and cut her face off. Understandably afraid that her seemingly assassin sister was literally threatening to murder her and cut her face off. 

And Fandom Interpretation? Most of the GA seemed to be on Arya’s side of that messy plot line, taking it to “Sansa’s the biggest Bad Guy in Game of Thrones, Arya has nailed it!”

Which was ironic, because it was literally a moment of, “People are getting Sansa’s motivations wrong.” The letter. A double down of the fact that Sansa was a child who was being forced and manipulated into writing a letter that everyone immediately knew she was forced and manipulated to write. (Which echoes with Sansa “””agreeing with Joffrey and Cersei”””” about the fight, which had been immediately followed up with our North Star, Ned Stark, saying she didn’t betray Arya or the family, she literally had no choice but to agree) (And she didn’t even agree, she took a risk and said she couldn’t remember).

And then triple down on all of those sorts of things by her constantly having Jon’s back, even when she’s frustrated and being shut out. And her big act of betrayal also being made in with the intention of his benefit and survival.

I’ve read a lot of good meta recently about how towards the start of the show, they did intend to make her actions be looked at as b&w, because they simplified her so thoroughly into as much of a stereotype as possible, potentially not knowing how important Sansa was for the story going forward. I think it might’ve even just been, “It’s first season stuff, it’s Sansa, she’s “””not that important””” we’ll flesh it out better later,” because I think they really already get adjusting by S2. (Although I do think she’s got levels in S1, even in the simplified state). She doesn’t have all of the qualities she’s got in the books (from what I know, I’m only just reading them I haven’t even hit Sansa’s first pov yet lolol), she just sort of walks around and is physically and mentally tortured. But, still they already start adding in layers more.

I’m rambling, this isn’t coherent. But, essentially, I think in show (apart from S1, potentially) they weren’t intending for her choices and actions to be so b&w “she’s against the family!!!”, it’s just that everyone hates Sansa (grasps tightly to their S1 interpretation that she wants the fairy tale life and so she’s evil and will do anything to get it?) so that’s how they read it and her going forward, for.ev.er. And it wasn’t their goal to make her choices really come off so simple, it’s just everyone else simplified it to, “Oh she’s being docile? She loves her captors, she hates her family, she just wants to be Queen, she’ll kill Jon for it, she wants power more than anything in the world!!!” 

When it’s actually more of, Sansa wants power over self, what happens to her and her body and her name, and wants to keep all of those she loves safe and take care of the people it is their responsibility as Starks to protect. 

But, in interviews and such, they pushed the concept of the first (”Hey maybe she’s power hungry and Jon should be concerned!!!? Watch season seven, watch season eight!!! ;D !!”), because they knew people were basically placing bets on when Sansa was going to make it plain that Sansa is out for Sansa and no one else, despite the fact that that wasn’t the narrative within the actual show. 

[dogsliampaynedoesntinstagram]

Hi Ralph, just wanted to rant about something. I don’t know what I did to Tik Tok for it to show me this, but I’ve seen multiple videos of teen girls talking about how great Harry is for “helping” Adele lose weight, and talking about how obviously his contributions to her weight loss are significant and he should be heralded for it. I don’t like the idea of judging young women on what they post at all, esp when this is an issue that women spend their lives unpacking, but as a fat woman it’s (1/)

Its both really personally hurtful and also generally fatphobic to see that - as if Adele’s choices should be accredited to people other than herself, as if a man telling a woman to lose weight (if that’s true) to gain confidence after a failed relationship is a good and useful thing other than a perpetuation of a lot of the misogynistic and fatphobic standards that hide in wellness culture, and idk what all else that even I’m not fully parsing from this. it just makes me really sad (2/2)

**********

Oh anon - I’m so sorry to hear that you were exposed to that bullshit, fucking algorithims. 

And those videos you describe make me very sad, for lots of reasons.  I think you’re wise and generous to try not to be judgemental, but it is also very hard to maintain that position when people are producing such harmful stuff.

I had actually missed all Harry Adele discourse, so had no idea what any of this was about.  I guess I just have a couple of thoughts.

One is that I want to disagree with you a little bit.  I don’t think women’s choices to lose weight, in the society we live in, are something that usefully credited to them as individuals.  Adele would have received thousands - millions - or messages in her life time that there was somethign wrong with her body.  And every one who gave her that message was doing harm, both to her and to the world in general. 

I’ve no idea if Harry had anything to do with Adele’s weight loss. If he was one of the people giving Adele those messages, then that’s a fucked up thing to do.  But I think, particularly when dealing with a hypothetical, it’s worthwhile being a bit generous here as well.  Harry doesn’t live outside the messages about what sort of body is acceptable and what sort isn’t.  He’s had a body in public from a very early age and that’s a very hard thing to do.  Members of boy bands are vulnerable to eating disorders.  If Harry and Adele did communicate about bodies then unless we hear specifics - it’s probably best to think of it as two people who are under a lot of public pressure and visibility doing the best that they can to figure out how to have a body in this world.

[silence-like-sleeping]

Idk but I really thought Rara would be the one to spoil the reveal because Narrative Purpose, maybe. So like this fic assumes Lex was actually playing the Long Game and not just jumping off the lowest branch in the crazy tree. Less angst, maybe, ultimately, but I think Rara deserves A Point To Her Existence.

Also let's pretend Rara knows she didn't kill Kara mostly because I forgot until after I wrote this HAHAha...

Also also this got long and idk how to do cuts in mobile so WELP

.

Lena can't say that she's surprised.

An embossed letter from Lex Luthor himself could only ever result in a Darth Vader invitation to join the evil family business. What surprises Lena is that Lex thought she would agree, like she'd really stand there in the Oval Office and declare, "Yes, despite all I've done to this point, why not give world domination a try." Why not throw her morals to the wayside and become a supervillian, and perhaps get in a good cackle along the way.

Lena rolls her eyes to think of it. Absurdity.

But what really surprises her is the presence of Red Daughter. The Haran-El copy looks exactly like Supergirl, down to the little notch scar on her forehead (which Lena has always imagined came from before, during a childhood mishap on Krypton, when the hero was human and allowed to bleed). She can't know for certain, because the topic has never come up between her and Supergirl, but. Well.

It's awkward to discuss halcyon days when the world's ending, and Lena mostly sees Supergirl in times of great peril. She wishes sometimes-- more recently nowadays-- that she could have a heart-to-heart with the hero, peel back some of that invulnerable skin. They've patched things up. They might as well become friends.

(Not Kara Danvers level of friendship, but still, more than acquaintances. More than... Lena snickers at the thought: co-workers.)

So when Red Daughter flies through the open South Lawn window in a familiar blur with familiar windswept hair and that same little scar, it takes Lena a second to be scared. Reflexively, she's reassured.

But Lex flaps a dismissive hand. "Take her away. Don't let her out of your sight."

Heavily accented, Red Daughter agrees, "Yes, Alex."

Red Daughter's eyes, blue as Supergirl's suit, shift to Lena. And it surprises Lena, too, to see them soften, just around the edges. It's a flicker, and when she blinks, it's gone, but it was an unmistakable glimpse.

Of warmth, of heart, of goodness. Of fondness, even. It stokes embers of ideas in Lena's mind, and her fear ebbs once more.

She doesn't struggle when she's gathered up in strong arms that could bear her weight for a century without tiring. It's a familiar embrace, too-- she's been held like this before. Supergirl's arms have never failed to make her feel safe, and Red Daughter's elicit the same support.

Whatever else Red Daughter may be, she's Supergirl at heart, and Lena's pretty sure she has a knack for reaching that.

She doesn't struggle. She just closes her eyes against the sudden rush of wind.

.

They end up in a holding cell not far away from the White House. It's benign as cells go, and Red Daughter doesn't even bother locking the door. She just stands on the threshold, arms crossed on her chest, face determinedly set like steel.

Her eyes betray her, though. They flick over Lena a little too often, like she can't quite believe Lena's here or solid or even real. It's hungry, almost.

For what, Lena can't say. But she'd be damned if she didn't take advantage of the opportunity.

"What Lex is doing is wrong, you know." She'd also be damned if she minced words.

Red Daughter scoffs.

"He's using you," Lena presses. "He already pretended to kill you, for god's sake. All he wants is power in the end. Do you see Kasnia in control here? No. Lex is in control here. Lex only ever fights for Lex. When he's done with you, he'll kill you for real without batting an eye."

Red Daughter's lips twist. "Alex vill do no such t'ing," she replies. Her gaze studiously shifts elsewhere, fixating on the plain gray wall.

Lena tries a different tack. "Why do you call him that? 'Alex'?"

"Because zat is 'is name," Red Daughter says, audibly doubtful of Lena's intelligence.

"Technically, I suppose," Lena concedes. She shakes her head of that. "Never mind. You've seen the choice he gave me, right? And how he treated me for disagreeing to his madness? I'm his sister, Red Daughter. He's willing to cast aside and imprison family. What makes you think you'll be any different?"

Red Daughter shakes her head, too, blonde waves rustling. "No, no, zis vill not vork. I am not ze same as 'er, you know. I am not your Kara Danvers."

That strikes several chords in swift succession.

"My Kara Danvers?" Lena echoes. Heat flares up her neck, but it's short-lived and quaffed by the bucket of ice water roaring down her spine. "Wait, why did you bring up Kara? You haven't-- you haven't abducted her again, have you? She isn't here, is she? Kara!" she concludes in worried shout.

Lena lurches to her feet on instinct, makes a run for the door, but Red Daughter is better than a wall. Catches onto Lena's lapel, not with enough force to lift or choke, but enough to keep her in place.

"No, she is not 'ere," Red Daughter says, looking once again like she fears for Lena's sanity. "But do not t'ink you can seduce me wit' your vords, Lena Lut'or. I am not your best friend."

Lena can't be bothered with this hogwash. "Of course you aren't. You're a copy of Supergirl, not--"

Lena stops mid-sentence. She's suddenly aware of a distant flapping, as of a thousand red flags. It unfurls like the ocean's roar as it surges from the depths of her head.

Red Daughter beats that tide to land. "And Supergirl is Kara Danvers, yes. Zat is my point exac'ly."

The wave crests and crashes, crashes, crashes. Lena blinks, delicately, as if even such a tremulous motion will shatter her entirely. "Supergirl is Kara Danvers," she repeats, hoarse.

"Yes?" Red Daughter tilts her head, and oh, god, Lena can see it now-- "As she 'as alvays been." A pause. "Vere you not avare of zis?"

Lena falters backwards across the cell until she can sink, boneless, on the bench. Her throat works several times before she croaks, "No. No, I... I was not."

Red Daughter frowns. At first it's just with her lips, but then it reaches her eyes, and the empathy there is a gut punch for Lena-- another gut punch. She's used to that expression, or used to it framed by glasses.

How was I so blind?

"Ah. Yes," Red Daughter murmurs. "I knew zis. I just forgot I did."

Lena finds enough space in her throat to wonder, "How would you possibly know that?"

Red Daughter looks surprised, briefly, before the concern washes back: another tide. She ventures closer, broad shoulders turned in like a dog tucking its tail in apology. "I 'ad to study 'er, to become 'er. I read 'er journals at length." Another hesitation. She's reached Lena's side. She shuffles her boots before perching on the very edge of the bench.

Lena can't process, her brain's a gnarled mess, but she has enough clarity to be cognizant of the other woman's presence and to be perplexed by it.

Red Daughter skims her hands down her thighs, clears her throat. "Kara Danvers speaks very 'ighly of you-- or writes as such. You are 'er most precious person, like unto 'er own Alex. I vas fascinated by ze passages attributed to you, Lena. The power of ze emotion, it leapt off ze page. I felt it 'ere, in my own chest," she concludes, pressing fingers to her heart.

Lena's jaw creaks, useless. Blood pounds in her ears, her neck. Is she flushing from secondhand embarrassment? Anger? Pleasure?

Red Daughter barrels onward, fingers fisting. "And she wrote for pages, too, about 'ow she couldn't tell you. 'Ow she vanted to tell you, but alvays, she vorried for your safety. Alvays, she vorried for your 'appiness."

"She could've just told me," Lena finally spits, bitter. "If she wanted me safe and happy, she should've told me my best friend was a superhero!"

Red Daughter is quiet at that. She's quiet for a long time. Eventually, she offers, "It agonized 'er. Ze ink, it was smeared at times. From tears, I t'ink."

Lena jolts to her feet, no more stable this time. Worse, even. She's stuttering like her joints have forgotten how to bend. "Don't tell me that! Don't tell me she-- she cried over this! How am I supposed to hate her if she cried over it?"

Red Daughter jumps up, too, and is in front of Lena with superspeed. But not, as it seems, to curtail her escape-- Lena's mind is far from that right now. But just to steady. Her hands rest on Lena's shoulders, and Lena barely feels the pressure. For all that strength and power, this touch is only gentle.

That's familiar, too. But then these hands are Kara's.

Lena shudders. Tears slip free.

Red Daughter's hands flex, careful. A bracing, strengthening squeeze. "You say I should 'ate Alex for vhat 'e 'as done, vhat 'e plans to do. Per'aps you are right about zat, I do not yet know. But if you are right, zen 'e 'as done terrible t'ings and plans to do far vorse. Kara Danvers 'as only tried to protect you ze best she knew 'ow."

Another shiver ripples through Lena's frame, dealing more damage to her foundations. "I wish she would've just told me," she weeps. "Why didn't she just tell me?"

Red Daughter appears at a loss, as agonized as she claimed Kara to be.

It surprises Lena to her core when Red Daughter wraps her in an embrace, cradled in unbreakable arms. Fingers sift, clumsy but comforting, through raven locks of hair.

You're a kind-hearted, brilliant, beautiful soul.

I'm not going anywhere. I will protect you, always.

The words bubble up and burst. "She really was just trying to protect me?"

The press of Red Daughter's head against Lena's temple is the same. The warmth of her body, too. Kara always had inexplicably been a furnace.

Stupid Kryptonians and their solar energy, Lena sneers inwardly without any real bile. She doesn't have the heart to whet the edges sharp enough to cut.

"She 'ad no reason to lie in 'er journal," Red Daughter states. It's matter of fact. But it is a matter of fact. Why would she, indeed.

The turbulence in Lena's chest eases. It's far from calm, it's still blustery and wild, but the storm no longer looms apocalyptic. She dares to venture that maybe, in time, she'll find fair seas again.

Red Daughter loosens her hold, and Lena wishes, viscerally, that she wouldn't. That she'd step back and be a rock again. But the other woman has other plans, and lifts the tears from Lena's cheeks, drop by drop.

"I do not know," Red Daughter admits as she works, "if Alex is evil as you say. I am conflicted about zat. I vill need proof. But I do know zat you are certainly not. You are ze farthest t'ing from it. And it seems to be a veakness of zis body," she adds with a self-deprecating little laugh as her thumb brushes gentle along the angle of Lena's cheek, "to vant to t'row avay life and limb for your sake."

The back of Lena's neck prickles again. She swallows, sniffles, says, "I, uh... does that mean you're going to help me? To help us? Defeat Lex?"

"I told you, I do not know yet." Red Daughter chases down the last tear. "But I vill return you unharmed to your Kara, so you may reconcile. From zere, ve vill see."

Not a lot surprises Lena Luthor. She's too cunning, too clever, too ready with sharp eyes and keen analysis to be caught on the back foot.

But all she's done is stumble today.

"Th-Thank you," she manages.

Red Daughter smiles. It's more than familiar. It's exactly the same, ablaze with a thousand cheerful suns.

Lena can't help but smile back.

.

.

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