#Like as soon as I sat down to study again I got the worst flashback :) and now my body hurts and I feel saur gross

[peppermintmochafem]

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[kiwibeanv]

Astray in the Black Water: Post-Chapter 2 -> Chuuya

Fatal Frame 5 x Bungo Stray Dogs Crossover x fem! reader

Flashbacks of dying shrine maidens plagued your dreams. A knife cutting into you, a man gouging your eyes, being forced into a reliquary, and seeing people commit suicide before your eyes. You woke up with a racing heartbeat. Those dreams felt too real. Not even the emptiness of your home could console you. Footsteps creek along the floorboards, yet you swear you lived alone. Random whispers that you thought were in your head.

A restless night was no excuse to close your café for the day. You at least let in your workers and made arrangements for your absence that day. With the warm sun rising, ghostly activity slowed down and you had a better moment of peace.

You didn't rise from your bed until your phone rang. It was your coworker calling you that you had a visitor who wished to speak with you. Assuring them that you will attend, you got yourself dressed and ready.

Emerging from the diamond door, you immediately spot the man with a hat sitting on his head. He sat on the stool of your counter, playing with the napkin on the table. Hearing the sound of the door opening and closing, he turned to you and you recognized his face. The same man Dazai was familiar with. However, you couldn't recall hearing his name.

"Good morning," you greet as you settle behind the counter at the edge where he sat. "I hope you did not wait long?"

"Mornin'," Chuuya crumpled the napkin in his hand. "Nah only a little." He studied your face. "You look like you didn't get your full eight hours."

"Ah, I did came home very late," you took a seat. "I never got your name."

"Nakahara Chuuya. You?"

"(Last Name) (First Name). A pleasure meeting you."

Chuuya nods his head and repeats your name in his head. "Likewise. So about my case..." He cleared his throat and sat up. "Need your help looking for a dear friend of mine. Last known location was in that same mountain you were in yesterday with those punks."

You raised your brow. "How long ago did she go missing?"

"Four days by now. The sooner you search, the better. I'd like to join you, but I got a busy day today. I'm available tonight, though."

"It's not safe going at that time. Just last night, I witnessed more spirit activity."

Chuuya frowned. "Shit... but don't you have fancy equipment to do something about those ghosts?"

"I do, however, it is still risky."

"I'm coming anyways. Four days is too long. I can't wait any longer."

"Alright..." You reached for a notepad on the counter. "So... where and when should we meet up?"

"I'm gonna see if I can make it at..." Chuuya paused to think over his schedule. Whatever he had planned, it really depended if the job gets done fast. "Put it down for 7PM. I might come in sooner. Oh and here in this quaint café of yours."

You wrote the note down with a nod.

"Oh! By the way," Chuuya rested his chin on his hand. "You don't... plan on visiting Dazai?"

"I do need to stop by the office for a report today," you replied.

"Look, hand me a paper and pen."

You passed the pen and the notepad to him. He wrote down his phone number and signed his name.

"Here's my number. Not just to contact you about this case," he slid the notepad back to you. "But I know a lot of things about Dazai. He's the worst person to be around with, let alone date him. So, if he happens to trouble you or you got any questions, I'm the guy you should talk to."

You studied his handwriting on the notepad. It was neatly written and his cursive signature was so elegant. "And why should I be concerned about Dazai?"

"I have a long list of reasons. He lies, he's manipulative, doesn't pay his bills. As soon as you are done with the ADA, ditch 'em. Mainly Dazai, but I think you get the point."

"I see..." you stood up from your seat. "Well, tonight we meet here again. I will finish my business and... see you then."

Chuuya got up from his seat.

"Mhmm. See ya."

He tipped his hat before leaving the café. Once he disappeared, you gathered your things before you left to the ADA.

Optional Post-Chapter Content: ADA (Go in order descending)

-> Kunikida

-> Atsushi

-> Dazai

Else, here is the next chapter link.

-> Chapter 3

[darthmaulification]

vox nihili | anidala

A/N: hee hee hoo hoo i love writing angsty character studies, and i LOVE to bully, harass, and otherwise torment anakin. 😌🤲💗 he is my horse plinko.

anywho, i just wanted to say that i’m very thankful and grateful for all y’all that follow me and take the time to read/reblog/comment on my stuff. i’ve got some really sweet comments here on tumblr and on AO3 recently, and although i haven’t directly responded to them (@ depression LOL), i do read them and giggle whilst kicking my feet. thank you very much, from the bottom of my heart. 💕💗💕💗

i hope to go back to my regularly scheduled program (maul smut) soon(?), but i’m only human and i’m just trying to stay afloat in my day to day, y’know?

that being said, please enjoy! kiitos!! 💕💕

summary: it’s worse when it’s quiet.

content: angst, past anidala, ghosts, referenced death and injury, guilt, regret, the all-consuming horror of being, anakin as vader never knows a day of peace, tangible flashbacks, hallucinations (?)

word count: 1,326

~

He hears it in the brief moments of peace.

After the TIE fighter’s thrusters shut down, when only the heat of them wavers the air. After hangar bays clear of Stormtroopers, the lines of white plastoid and obedience drawing to their respective quarters or to another distant battlefield to another distant death. After countless conversations with wiry, self-serving men, discussing their wiry, self-serving plans for what to do with the Rebels spotted on Dantooine.

He hears it in the fleeting quiet of walking down long, sterile corridors, where no one speaks unless spoken to. He hears it during the doors opening to a room of gray uniforms, when voices hush to silence. Then in the gaps between inhales— however desperate— and in the terrified eyes of a weak man and in the shaky, trembling, collective exhale of acceptance when yet another commanding officer lies upon the durasteel floor, dead.

They call him Lord, those wiry, self-serving men who love nothing more than a hierarchy to submit to, all the while convincing themselves that they somehow hold some inherent superiority. It’s laughable, their propensity to look down upon others and sneer, but deep down they know their place and will never have the courage to challenge the powers that be.

They listen, they obey— And he does too, after all the noise. It’s after background clamor that Vader couldn’t be any less invested in, when things wind down...

... It’s at its worst in the isolation of his meditation chamber. After the walls collapse in and lock him behind black durasteel, when every sense he has— except his mind and thoughts— is completely muted. The air is sucked out and leaves a vacuum, a void, and it’s at its worst because Vader has too much time— and silence— to think.

It begins mere seconds after he’s sat down, when his helmet is off and his meditation has begun.

There are no shadows in the bright whiteness of the lit chamber, yet somehow she finds a way to watch from them.

Aren’t you ashamed of what you’ve become?

He hears her voice. The same as it was a lifetime ago— silvery, determined, with far too much willpower in the words. It exists in a new plane now, akin to a fuzzy memory he can’t quite place the location in the timeline of, or like believing his name to be called when no one has said a word. Her voice, something nearly imperceptible, but there enough.

“I have no shame.” Vader replies to Her, and he formalizes the pronoun because Her means less than—

Yet you feel it. You cannot even speak my name.

She talks again, and this time Vader feels the words in the flesh and bone that remain of his body. He clings to the cold leather of his suit, to the unfeeling metal and wire, the lifeless code and data that control his movements. Vader latches on to what isn’t him, and it’s not that he’s afraid of facing Her, it’s only because she speaks and disrupts him. Annoyances. Petty squabbling. He’s never been fond of distraction, and she clings like a leech.

“You remind me of the fools that surround me. It’s a disgrace to your former status.” Vader’s baritone rings out and cuts the air like a sword to the wind. His fists clench over his knees, the leather of his gloves groaning. He can feel Her watching, Her gaze boring into the center of his spine like a pick.

Of what? The Queen of Naboo? Senator of the Republic? Your wife? The mother to your—

“Silence.” Vader commands, and the Force around him, that swirls in his meditation chamber, cowers in fear. It retreats from the iciness of Darth Vader’s demand, slinking into the crooks and corners to avoid his wrath. But Vader does not allow it to leave, he grabs the reigns and pulls it back, unforgiving. The Force screams, and Vader chokes it into submission.

She gets caught in the crossfire, gaping and gasping, clawing at his invisible fist like she had so many years ago. Her presence shakes, the grip tightens.

“Yield to me.” He hisses, and his bare eyes begin to burn both without the protection from his helmet and the fury that strikes within them. Then, without warning, it's as if the lights dial up to their highest setting, and the flash causes Vader to falter. She falls from his hold and becomes the air.

No. I will speak, and you will hear me.

Her voice bellows, suddenly as loud as thunder or standing beside an angry, rushing waterfall. Gone is Her breathy femininity, Her tenderness— she commands and demands, she turns raucous and to stone. 

“You have nothing that entices me.” Vader replies simply, and maybe he lets vindictiveness get the better of him because he adds, “You are nothing to me.”

I don’t think you believe that.

“You know nothing of what I believe.” And she never truly did, not even when they had their last meeting on the fiery domain of Mustafar, when he gave Her all his reasons— not even when Her eyes went wide-eyed and petrified from lack of oxygen, not even when he discarded her to the dirt.

Then why do you entertain a ghost?

Vader can’t get that image out of his head: A brown-haired, stony-eyed woman in white lies sprawl on the ground, a vivid picture against the black sand. He can’t help but remember each time he kissed her, each time she smiled against his cheek, the scent of her skin, the maternal swell beneath her shirt—

“You are no ghost. You are only a figment of the mind, a distant, insignificant memory that refuses to be forgotten.” Vader rises to his feet, mechanisms whirring and bolts latching and locking in place. He convinces himself that he is not fleeing, that when he grabs his helmet and places it back onto his head, that he is not trying to smother Her voice— to silence the noise.

You can’t. I am relentless. I am all your consequences of all your sin. You will never be free of me— I am the tie that binds.

“I will forget you. Everything falls— even the mighty, even the memory.” Vader wheezes and presses a series of buttons on his abdomen, and the chamber’s walls begin to unlatch. Air hisses from their opening hatches, the rush of noise is deafening, like tectonic plates throwing themselves into volcanic eruptions.

The walls around him have lifted, broken into two halves that appear like a pair of hands, fingers like lotus flower petals. Sharp metal edges, smooth durasteel, phalanges that claw and keep within their clenched grasp the beast on their palms. Vader does not move to leave, he only stands and keeps standing, and the firm floor beneath his boots begins to feel like hot stone and shifting sand.

I am always here.

Vader can hear the low thrum of an idling ship, then voices yelling in crescendo, then the metallic hiss of a lightsaber unsheathing. He can see its glow from his peripherals— azure, cobalt— and the eyes of the man that wields it: Sky blue.

Then he sees Her again, tossed to the ground in a barely conscious heap of a grief that will take Her and the unborn to the grave.

I will always be here.

All around him, the heat swelters. The sky is overcast in black plumes of smoke, and yet the sun beats down around him. Rocky cliffs crumble and lose their stone, sending boulders of black sediment into the slow-moving pits of liquid magma and tar. Sweat drips from his bangs, he can barely see past the tears and the raw, pulsing anger.

Forever.

Anakin feels fire lick at his skin, and Padmé watches the hollow man crumble.

~

Part of you will always lie upon black glass sand beside a lake of fire while flames chew upon your flesh.

[otptings]

Countless Moons

-Idol; Niki

-Word Count; 3k+

-Genre; 13+, angst , two endings (one horror, one ambiguous fluff)

-Warnings; detailed death, blood, cussing, aged up Niki, mentions of eating disorder, descriptions of grief multiple breakdowns, mentions of vomiting, self harm, insanity

-Synopsis; 2 years ago you witnessed your boyfriends death firsthand. Now after his 2 year death anniversary weird occurrences have started happening.

-A/n - here is my warning, this has a really detailed death scene that caused me to become choked up while writing this. if you do not think you can handle that please do not read this. requests are open for Enhypen (super small print is a dream, italics are flashbacks)

"I'm sorry."

Tears dripped down your cheeks. Fat and warm as they landed on your hands that you were wringing. Staring at the gravestone in front of you.

Riki Nishimura.

December 9th 2005- November 30th 2020.

Gone too soon.

It was the second anniversary. That means two years. Two years since you've witnessed him get hit by a car. When you thought too long about it you could remember that day perfectly.

That dreaded day.

Seeing his purple hair and the pout on his face after he had gotten lectured by the soccer coach because of it. The sun beating down on you, warming you despite the cold breeze that threatened to force you to put on a jacket. Niki's jacket that he always left for you just in case. Watching as he dribbled the ball, confidence displayed on his face as he kicked it toward the goal. Tossing his arm over K's shoulder as he cheered, turning to face you. Raising his fist, a smile on your face as you happily cheered for him.

Tugging said jacket closer around your body as another cold breeze brushed by. The clouded sky only made the day more dismal. Knowing that not even the sun would shine on you, as if it knew what this day meant.

"I should've listened to you," You wiped away your tears releasing a shaky laugh, "If I was more careful you would never had have to run after me."

The gravel digging into your knees and palm. Hearing your jeans rip as you hit the ground. Turning around in time to see the car hitting Niki. You could hear crunches, and a thud as he hit the ground. A blood curling scream was heard, but you don't know if it was from you or Niki. The driver of the car veered into a tree, who you later found out was drunk, passing out against the wheel.

The horn blared as you ran over to Niki, placing his head in your lap. His purple hair appearing red faintly, his eyes fluttering shut. Begging him to stay awake, tears blurring your vision as you cupped his cheek . Eyes widening you say blood dripping from his forehead.

So much blood.

The crimson liquid spilling around his body, seeping into your clothes as you held him closely. Looking around you saw bystanders staring on in disbelief, watching as you cried over his body in the middle of the street.

By the time the ambulance showed up Niki had stopped breathing. More screams and tears leaving you as the paramedics pulled you off of his body. One of them wrapped a silver blanket around you, another called your parents. You watched as they attempted to revive Niki.

They weren't successful.

His time of death was 5:37 pm.

"I wish you were here with me. I still sleep with the teddy bear your mom gave me, the one that used to be yours." A bitter sweet memory, his mom coming to your house with tears in her eyes. Handing you a box of his belongs. She hugged you tightly, muttering a sorry, before giving you her number. That was 2 years ago, before they moved to Osaka.

You couldn't blame her.

The box was precious to you. Filled with various teddy bears that he had around his room, various assortment of clothes, and letters that he had written you.

Goosebumps erupted over your skin as you felt eyes on you. Was someone watching you? Raking your eyes over the tree line, you thought you saw a glimpse of purple. Chills ran through you. It was time to leave anyway, it was past 7 pm.

Placing the narcissus flower on his grave, you stood up not bothered by the grass stains on your jeans. Pulling the jacket closer to your body, you headed to the gateway of the graveyard.

As you approached the archway you felt an urge to turn around. It was strong, like someone whispering it directly in your ear. Glancing over your shoulder you saw someone crouching over his grave, exactly where you were mere moments ago. The flower you placed in the figures hand as they stood up. An involuntary gasp left your mouth, and then the figure was gone. Vanishing into thin air.

"Niki?"

-

The sun beamed down on him reflecting his silver hair as he stepped into the river. Niki turned to you with a giant smile on his face, his hand up covering his eyes from the son. Strangely you couldn't make out his eyes. You let out a laugh watching as the bottom of his jeans got soaked by the water where he hadn't pulled them high enough. He looked down at the flowing water, a pout on his lips.

The water seemed to continue rising, as fear shown in his eyes. Just like the day the car hit him. You tried to scream at him, tell him to get out of the water, but no words left your mouth. A wave rose out of the water and hit Niki. A gurgled noise filled the air as you ran to the river. You ran into the river, desperately looking for him when you something grab your leg and yank you under the water. You were met by dark red eyes, and a fanged smile.

He let out a laugh as the water filled your lungs. When your vision started to get blurry he whispered in your ear.

"Be back soon love."

-

No fucking way. Your stomach dropped as you read the text.

Niki Niki 💞

Hi baby

Your hand shook as you quickly blocked the number. This was a sick fucking joke. Nausea flooded your stomach, and you felt bile rise in your throat. Dropping to your knees you started to get choked up. Covering your mouth you tried to quiet the sobs leaving your mouth.

Who the fuck would hack a dead persons phone? Why would you think that was okay?

Seeing Niki's contact appear made your heart drop. Memories flashed through your mind.

His face lighting up after the goal, when he looked at you in the bleachers and knew that he wanted to make you proud. His smile shining brighter than the sun. Whining when he pulled you into his arms after, laughing as he rubbed his sweaty cheek against yours. His hair stuck to his forehead when he leaned down to you, placing a kiss on your cheek.

Hearing the sound of his body hitting the ground. Holding him tightly to your body, begging anybody to help you. Feeling his blood soaking through your jeans, sticking them to your skin like paper mache. Watching him open his mouth as he tried to talk to you. The panic in his eyes as his breathing got more ragged. A gurgling noise presenting itself as his lungs filled with blood. Seeing his eyes becoming glazed over as you held him to your chest, begging him to stay awake.

You should've held him tighter that day. Kissed him a little harder. Not bothered worrying about his sweaty jersey. Just cherished the time that you spent with him.

Unknown

this looks weird I know but please listen to me

meet me in the place where we first met

I need to see you love

-

Tears streamed down your face as you held your legs close to your chest. Your skirt was covered in mud and grass stains. The bottom of it was torn where it had snagged when you tried to run away from them. Quiet cries left your mouth as you hid under the bleachers, praying that the bullies would leave you alone. You covered your mouth as you heard them getting closer, chants of your names.

"Come out piglet."

"Yea piglet. You love to play in the mud right?"

"Come out come out piglet." Their laughter got quieter as they walked further away. You slowly relaxed. You just had to wait out here til the bell rung. Only flaw in your plan was that you had no clue what time it was.

"Are you okay?" You jumped pulling your legs closer as you heard someone. Turning to your right you saw a boy with dark brown hair, hanging shaggily over his eyes. He held out his hand, attempting to help you stand up. When he realized you weren't gonna grab it he sat down beside you, not caring about the mud getting on his clean uniform. "My names Niki. What's yours?"

Niki didn't seem bothered at your silence. Taking off his jacket he handed it to you.

"I see your uniforms dirty. You can wear my jacket for the day if you like." Reluctantly you took his jacket, slipping it over your arms as he watched you with a smile. You stared at him weirdly as the bell finally run. Recess was over and you had successfully escaped your bullies.

Standing up Niki held his hand out to you again. This time you took it.

"Thank you." His smile only grew larger.

"Of course. I think we're gonna be friends."

-

"This is fucking stupid." Your words got sucked into the quiet of the night. You knew the Niki was dead. You witnessed his death. Held him in your arms as he died and choked on his own blood. Even spoke a eulogy for his funeral. He was dead as doorknob.

Here you were though. Pacing back and forth underneath of the bleachers. Sneakers crunching the dry grass. It was the middle of December. Instead of studying I was waiting to see who hacked my dead boyfriend's phone.

And what specifically was I waiting for? To have them appear then force them to apologize? They have no morals if they could hack a dead teen's number. What makes me think that any useful would happen from this.

"Fuck!" You growled as you crouched down, tears burning at our eyes. "He's not fucking coming back." You tried to convince yourself. "Everyday was supposed to get easier without you, but they're only getting worst and worst." An uncontrollable wail left your lips. You grabbed your hair, pulling it as you tried to ground yourself.

Nothing made sense anymore. Niki died at 15. It's been 2 years and you're still holding on to him.

"He isn't coming back." You wiped your tears with the sleeve of the hoodie, sniffling as you stood up.

"Who's not coming back?" Whirling around your mouth went dry. A gasp left your mouth as dizziness overcame you. "Are you okay? You look pale."

Him screaming your name was the last thing that you heard before you fainted.

-

"How could you bring her here? She has no fucking clue?"

"And leave her there?"

"He's right this is the best choice."

"Bringing her here is dangerous for all of us. Especially here."

"If you guys even touch her I'll kill you."

"We would never."

"What if she finds out what you are?"

-

Your eyes flickered open at the sound of harsh whisperings. Sitting up slowly you looked around the room. It was a stereotypical boys room, posters on the wall and clothes scattered across the floor. Turning to the nightstand something caught your eye. Picking up the picture frame you saw it was a picture of you and Niki.

Freshman year homecoming. First dance since you started dating, almost 5 years after you met for the first time. Our parents forced us to take pictures, changing up our poses every couple of photos. This was ironically the most hated one from that day.

The sun was blazing, beaming down as your parents snapped photo after photo. His arms wrapped around your waist, chin resting on your shoulder. He whispered jokes into your ears, causing laughs to flow freely. Every picture was almost the same. Niki's lips close to your ear, a wide smile on your face as you laughed.

Tears started to blur your vision as you set the picture frame down, albeit with a little bit of a thunk. The whispers went quiet outside, obviously they all had heard it. Someone turned the doorknob with a click before pushing it open, peeking their head in. Light in the hallway shone behind them, obscuring their face. They closed the door quickly, the whispers starting back up.

What the fuck was happening? You pulled your knees to your chest, pulling the blanket tighter around your body. This had to be another nightmare. Yea. Just a silly little dream. Where my dead boyfriend rose from the dead, texted me, and then took me to some strange house. Of course totally normal dream behavior.

Suddenly someone quickly stepped into the room, closing the door behind them with a resolute thud. You threw your hand over your eyes, covering them from the harsh light that abruptly turned on. Blinking a few items, you looked at the person as your vision cleared.

"This is a sick dream." Tilting his head to the side Niki started to walk over to you. Throwing your hands up you stopped him in his tracks. "Stay the fuck away. You are not Niki. I saw him die." His face softened as he stood in the middle of the room, brown eyes showing sadness.

"I am Niki."

"You're fucking not! I saw him die! I held him as he fucking died!" He jumped at your screams, looking taken aback as tears streamed down your face.

"Love. Please let me explain."

"Don't fucking call me that! Only Niki can call me that!" With a sob you curled yourself into a ball. Praying for this nightmare to end. There is no way Niki is alive.

Thud. Warm blood. Gurgle.

Thud. Warm blood. Gurgle.

He was dead.

Dead.

Dead.

Dead.

Another guttural sob left your mouth, holding yourself tighter in hopes that you could just disappear. You flinched as you felt at the feeling of getting touched, a hand placing itself on back. He rubbed soothing circles as he whispered into your ear, words reassuring you that it was truly him.

"I'm sorry love." At the sound of that, overwhelming thoughts to go to sleep flooded your mind. You opened your eyes, confused at what was happening as you gripped onto Niki's shirt. An apologetic look on his face before everything went black for the second time that night.

-

"I know that you pity me. Some of you feel bad because of what I witnessed. The death of my best-friend, and boyfriend. But you shouldn't. I've known him 5 years but he has made the greatest impact on me. I look at everything in a positive light because of him. I work my hardest because he constantly encouraged me to. Niki was the best person that I know and I feel as if we should all live in his honor. I'm happy that he isn't suffering. I know that Niki is happy wherever he is. And if there is a Heaven he is definitely there. Niki if you can hear me I love you. I'm so grateful that I got to know you. I'll be with you again someday. The sun will shine on us again."

-

Niki Niki💞

I took the liberty of unblocking my number

when you wake up please text me

if you give me the chance I will explain everything

Love🦦

hurry

-

Here we were. Niki sitting on the opposite side of the bed from, just looking at you. Apart of you wished that this was real. That Niki was really in front of you. Drinking in his appearance you let a sigh leave your mouth.

Niki was in front of you.

His hair hung messily in his face, now grey instead of his signature purple at the time of his 'death'. Every other part of him looked normal. A hoodie hanging off of his skin frame, the same one that he wore for soccer practice with his jersey number on the back. He hasn't aged a day.

"I know you're confused," His voice broke the silence, seemingly the only thing that has changed. Having heard it multiple times you hadn't realized that it had gotten deeper, "please just let me explain. If you want nothing to do with me afterwards I'll let you go. I just missed you."

He ran his fingers through hair, before pulling the hoodie over his head. A nervous trait of his. It's nice to see that some things never change.

"I died. I remember the fear that I had that day, how you held me tightly in your arms, choking on my own blood. I remember all of it, and I truly did die." You stared at him, more confusion after part of his explanation than you had before.

"I was scared when I woke up here. I had all of the memories of my death, but woke up with no scars. No physical sign of the accident. Heeseung was the one that comforted me. He told me that I was chosen. Talked about fate's arrows and connecting two worlds. My memory of the speech is hazy after two years." Scooting closer to you he grabbed one of your hands, intertwining your fingers.

"You've been here this whole time?" Regret shone in his eyes as he nodded, "Why didn't you tell me?" His face dropped at your voice. Desperation was clear in the way that your voice cracked.

"I couldn't. They told me I would put in danger. That you would reject what I am now."

Niki cupped your cheek wiping your stray tears. Sighing you nuzzled your face into his palm. His hand was cold. The same coldness that filled you for years after his death.

"I missed you so much. I fought myself day and night. I needed you too. I'm sorry love."

All the nights filled with tears, sobbing until your throat was sore and your head felt like it would explode from the pressure. School days filled with people staring, whispering to each other about the poor girl that witnessed her boyfriends death. Bile rising in your throat every time you ate, thoughts of Niki bleeding out in your arms, remembering scrubbing the blood off of you in the shower. You never could keep food down, rushing to the bathroom after every meal. Tears flooding your eyes as you gagged, constant flashbacks.

But Niki is here. In front of you. His hand cupping your cheek, whispering apologies into the air between you. Maybe everything would be okay.

-

It's been two years. Two years since you've found out that Niki was still alive. As a vampire, but 'alive' nonetheless.

Leaving town was always your plan. After Niki's death what was left for you in Okayama? You always thought about going to South Korea, or maybe even to America. Somewhere to get a full fresh start. Not being known as the dead boy's girlfriend. Who wasted away due to grief. Who died 3 years after his death, a brutal suicide that raked the town.

You were the real Romeo and Juliet. Two young lovers separated at 15, death forcing them to part. You never recovered from his death, so at 18 you followed him. After your funeral your family left town, not being able to bare the pain.

It was a fresh start for you. And Niki.

Your love Niki. Who laid now on your chest as you watched a movie, a cult classic funnily enough. The other members spread out on various couches. Looking down at Niki you ran your fingers through his hair, a sigh leaving his mouth as he relaxed. Grabbing your other hand Niki placed a kiss on it, a smile blossoming across your lips.

In the dead of winter, under countless moons you were together again.

-

thank you for reading this, I really hoped that you enjoyed it. I tried to make it the ending as fluffy as possible without ruining the vibe I had going for the whole oneshot. underneath of this is the alternate ending if you want to go insane read it. it does contain mentions of insanity, and self harm. you have been warned

-

It's been two years. Two years since you've found out that Niki was still alive. As a vampire, but 'alive' nonetheless.

Leaving town was always your plan. After Niki's death what was left for you in Okayama? You always thought about going to South Korea, or maybe even to America. Somewhere to get a full fresh start. Not being known as the dead boy's girlfriend. Who wasted away due to grief. Who died 3 years after his death, a brutal suicide that raked the town.

You were the real Romeo and Juliet. Two young lovers separated at 15, death forcing them to part. You never recovered from his death, so at 18 you followed him. After your funeral your family left town, not being able to bear the pain.

That’s what your parents told everyone at least.

The truth is police found you under the bleachers, writhing on the ground as you nonsensically spouted about vampires and curses. Telling everyone who listened how Niki was still alive. They would tut, turning around while mentioning how the accident affected you. Ruining you mentally. Your parents' concerns only grew when you would speak to the thin air. Claiming it was Niki. That he missed them, and wished they would allow him in the house.

You would claw at yourself to ‘feed’ Niki, blood dripping from your arms. It came to a halt when your parents walked into the house, crimson surrounding your mouth as you happily told them you had turned. You were now a vampire. You could now be with Niki forever.

They shipped you to the farthest asylum. One in Virginia, hidden away in the mountains. Far are from them. Far away from Niki.

Maybe after countless moons you’ll meet again one day. When the insanity no longer claimed your mind, and shrouded your reality.

[silversaturnss]

It’ll Be Okay

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x female!reader

Word count: 931

Warnings: Sad Bucky, lil bit of swearing, mentions of violence, idk

A/N: This is my first ever fic that I’m writing and posting!! Ahh I’m so excited. I hope you all like it! :)

Plot: Bucky tells y/n about the death of Yori’s son, she comforts him

(Bucky)

“Thanks, Yori. It’s been great but I gotta get home, y/n will be wondering what happened to me.” Bucky smiled as he opened the door, leaving his friend’s apartment. The minute it closed behind him, his smile fell.

He couldn’t do it anymore. He couldn’t keep pretending to be there for his friend when he knew the truth. Listening to Yori’s devastated voice as he wondered about his son’s fate broke Bucky a little more every time they met. Reaching into his pocket, he pulled out his notebook and flipped to the most viewed page. At the top, the last name Nakajima stared back at him; circled but not crossed.

As he walked down the sidewalk, he carefully placed the book back in his coat. The street lamps gave off an eerie glow, glinting off his exposed hand. Pulling out his phone, he checked the time. 11:46 pm. Shit. Y/n would be beyond angry that he hadn’t texted or called to let her know he was going to be late.

“Hopefully she’s fallen asleep by now,” Bucky thought. He didn’t want to talk to anyone about things right now, just to go to sleep and start a new day tomorrow.

(Flashback)

“I think the worst part is not knowing what happened to him,” Yori said sadly, gazing at his son’s memorial shrine. “Getting that closure would be more than anything else I could ask for.”

Bucky swallowed, tensing his jaw. He studied Yori’s face as he picked up his son’s picture. The lines on his face showed the years of stress and worry he had been through, and Bucky knew he was to blame. With just a few words he could take away some of that pain, maybe ease a fraction of the suffering he had caused...

He opened his mouth to speak, but the words caught in his throat as Yori glanced up at him. “I-“ Bucky started, before falling silent. “I... I’m so sorry for your loss, Yori.”

(Y/n)

Y/n heard the knob rattle and was on her feet before the door could even open. Bucky entered, turning around to close it. “Are you okay? I texted but didn’t hear back, you said you’d be home by 10 at the latest.” She asked, approaching him.

He turned around and she stopped. His face was red and his eyes were full of tears. “Oh my god Buck, what happened?” She hurried over to him, engulfing his broad frame in a hug. Immediately he fell into her and began to sob.

Leading him over to the couch, she sat him down and held him until his crying slowed. “Buck, please talk to me. I’ve never seen you this bad, what happened? Is Yori okay?” She asked, pushing his hair back.

“I don’t... I don’t know how to say it. I can’t.” Bucky started, breath still shaky. “I tried to tell him but I couldn’t.”

Y/n looked at him, confused. “Tell him what?”

Bucky took a deep breath, and pulled out his notebook. Y/n had never seen what was inside it; she only knew he and his therapist were using it to help him move past everything he had been through. Flipping through the pages, he stopped on one with a list. Looking closer, y/ncould see it was last names. Most crossed out, with the exception of a select few. Bucky pointed to Nakajima, circled on the top of the right hand page.

“This is a list of everyone I wronged during my time as the Winter Soldier. As per my therapist’s advice, I’ve been going through each one and righting those wrongs any way I can.” He explained. “There’s only one that I can’t bring myself to do, and it’s the most important one.”

Y/n looked back up at him. “What happened with Yori?” She asked, hesitantly.

“I was on a mission. Take everyone out, leave no witnesses. I was almost finished, but there was one more. I can still see him trying to escape, begging me to let him go. He couldn’t get his key in the lock of the door he was trying to leave through. The closer I got to him, the more desperate he sounded.” Bucky stopped, taking a gulp of air. “That man... was Yori’s son. He was innocent, I should have let him go. Instead, I shot him right between the eyes.”

They sat there in silence, neither knowing what to say. Eventually y/n spoke. “Bucky... there was nothing you could have done. You may remember and know what you should have done, but in the moment you had no choice. Hydra used you, they took that choice away from you. This is their fault, not yours.” Bucky’s breathing was getting shaky again, and she took his hand in hers. “You were a tool that they used for wrong. And that never was, and never will be, your fault.”

Bucky looked up at her, and pulled her into a hug. “Thanks, doll. I just don’t know how to tell him... he has a right to know. He’s in so much pain because of me.”

“Buck. It’ll be okay, you just need to give yourself the time to be ready.” y/n said, standing up. “Yeah,” Bucky replied. “I need to do it soon, though. I can’t handle being around him knowing what I know.”

“You’ll get there, I know you will.” y/n reassured him, giving him a kiss on the forehead. “Let’s get to bed, you’ll feel better in the morning once you get some sleep.”

[cowpokecorner]

For Whom the Bell Tolls Part 1 // Micah x Reader

FO: So I guess I'm gonna knock these boys down one by one with x Reader stories. This one is on the longer side, so I'm gonna do it in parts. Might take me a bit to finish it as I've been working on just part 1 for a few days now. If you guys are enjoying my writing so far, maybe you can choose who's up next. Still need to do one for John, Dutch, and Caleb. Anyway, hope y'all enjoy this one, and I'll get the second part up as soon as I can. :3

==========================================

You closed your eyes and drew in a deep breath through your nose as you took in the scents of nature around you. The grass, the trees, the warm spring breeze, and even the smell of the river where you had decided to come to fish for a bit. You opened your eyes again to sit down on the shore and set up your rod to begin the task of collecting your dinner for the evening. You had gotten an early start, heading down to the water just after a quick lunch in Rhodes, as you figured you'd probably be here all afternoon just trying to catch even one fish. You never really were all that good at the sport.

You had left your home town on horseback alone in search of a better life only a few short weeks ago, but even so... In that time you had run in to a bit of trouble here and there. You had picked the absolute worst time to visit the town of Strawberry as your first break from the road after a few days. You damn near got killed when a shootout started as you were leaving one of the shops with supplies. Somehow you managed to escape unharmed though. You always did seem to have good luck in those types of situations. It wasn't but a few days later that you nearly got caught up in what appeared to be a stage coach robbery by the same two men you thought you had seen in Strawberry during the shootout. You wondered about them. Who they were, and why you seemed to be making a habit of running into them. However, you weren't going to think about that right now. Today was a day to relax.

As you cast your first line you could hear something in the distance. Singing? You glanced in the direction the sound was coming from and noticed a small boat coming down the river toward you. You opted not to say hello as it drew nearer as the men aboard seemed to be quite enjoying themselves, and you didn't want to ruin their fun. It was only when they slowly rowed past you that you recognized the man controlling the vessel. He had been with the blond in Strawberry and at the stage coach robbery. He seemed...different though. Before he appeared to be a hardened outlaw, but right here...right now... He seemed like a normal guy out fishing with his friends. They all sounded so happy as they continued along and sang among themselves. It put a smile on your face. You didn't see much genuine happiness these days.

Your happy heart, however, would be short lived. As the boat cleared your sight and their voices faded from earshot, you picked up on another sound. Horse hooves. You had yet to catch anything, and with all this commotion you had a feeling you weren't going to. You sighed as you reeled in your line to see if anything had even taken the worm without snagging the hook. Nope. Nothing. The hoof beats were growing closer now though. You glanced over your shoulder to see another familiar sight. The blond from the prior encounters on his black horse. He was riding along the river toward where you sat from the direction the boat had gone. He kept his head down, but you could tell it was him. You bit your lip as you felt a sinking feeling in your stomach. Maybe if you just went back to fishing he wouldn't notice you? At least, that's what you hoped as you switched out the worm for a fresh one and cast your line a second time. You wouldn't be so lucky.

As the man approached he took notice of you and slowed his horse to a stop by a tree a few yards away. You only glanced at him over your shoulder for a quick second before going back to watching the line. He seemed to be watching you though. You did your best to ignore the creeping feeling that you had just become this guy's next robbery target. You suddenly had a flashback to your older brother warning you how dangerous it was to go it alone on the road, but you had assured him you could take care of yourself. Problem was, now you weren't so sure. You took a deep breath and did your best to focus on the fishing, but your attention would once again be draw away by the sound of footsteps approaching you.

"Well ain't you just the finest little ol' thing~" His husky yet smoothe voice almost caused you to jump out of your skin. He made his way to stand about a foot or so away from you, looking down with a sly smirk on his face. His had shaded his eyes a bit from the sun.

"P-pardon...?" You responded as you tried not to look at him. You could feel your heartbeat in your throat. Something about him was extremely intimidating, but hearing him speak to you that way caused your cheeks to burn a little.

Rather than repeating himself, the man took a seat on the shore next to you with one leg stretched out and the other bent up. He rested his arm over the bent knee and let the other lay in his lap. "Now, what possessed ya ta come all the way out here all alone like this?"

You swallowed hard before answering him. "W-well... I came out ta enjoy the nice weather n' do some fishin' so I can have supper t'night. I don't really have all that much money, so I can't really afford ta be stayin' in saloons n' buyin' expensive food."

He chuckled a bit. "Don't seem like ya been catchin' much, hm?" He sniffled a bit as he looked out to the water. He had taken notice of the fact that you had nothing in the pail with you.

"Yeah...well... Ain't never been all that good at fishin', n' it don't help none that before you showed up a few other fisherman came rowin' down river singin'. Prolly scared all the damn fish away." You huffed a bit. Why was he making conversation with you like he knew you? "Don't figure your horse's hoofsteps helped much." You muttered.

He seemed slightly amused by your last comment but stayed quiet for a moment. He glanced to you again, a bit of realization in his expression. "Hold up a minute... Ain't I seen you someplace else b'fore?"

You quickly brought a hand up to tug your hat down slightly. He had recognized you. This caused your cheeks to burn more as you spoke. "N-no... I don't think I've seen ya nowhere b'fore...." What if he thought you recognized him and was concerned you might turn him in? Would he hurt you? Or...worse...?

He studied you quietly for a moment before looking back out to the water with a soft sigh. "Well... Y'said you ain't got much money, so... How bout rather'n sittin' out here all day tryin'a fish n' catchin' nothin'...ya let me take you inta Rhodes for a proper meal?" He smirked a bit as he glanced at you out of the corner of his eye.

Your eyes widened as you looked to him in surprise. Did he just...? "N-no! Ya don't gotta do that. I-I'll be fine. M'sure I'll catch somethin' soon. I ain't no one ta fuss over." Surely this guy was trying to lure you away to rob or kill you. It probably wasn't a good idea to trust him.

He looked to you with a seemingly genuine smile as he removed his hat and placed it in his lap. "Awwww c'mon now. I could show ya a real good time~" He lidded his eyes as he leaned toward you a bit. "N'I know ya just met me n' all, so ya ain't got much reason ta trust me. But I assure you I'm good for it~" His tone was smoothe, and he spoke so effortlessly.

You looked away, shifting your gaze back down to the fishing rod in your hands as you thought to yourself. It had been a while since you'd had a nice meal and a drink. He seemed to be telling the truth, and...he was quite handsome. Maybe something else coud... You quickly shook that thought out of your head before reeling your line back in. "Alright then...but just dinner. Nothin' else. I ain't lookin' ta get m'self inta any mischief."

"Course not. Dinner. No mischief, but...maybe a couple a drinks n' a bit a fun in a saloon room later?" He grinned as he narrowed his eyes, leaning even closer now.

Your face grew hot with blush once more as you tried to hide it with your hat. "J-just...d-dinner... M-maybe a drink r' two... N-nothin' else..." You quickly packed up your things and stood. You headed over to your horse to pack everything up before turning back to the man.

He too had stood and made his way over to his horse, which he had led over to where you stood with yours. "Guess I can lead the way, n' you can follow." He mounted and turned in the right direction, looking back to see you do the same. He smirked once more and looked back ahead. "Yah!" He called out as he gave his horse a swift boot to the sides and took off.

You did the same with your horse, quickly following after him. Although he was quite fast. You only lagged behind a bit though, and it gave you some time to think about what was going on. You made sure to keep yourself in check and alert so he couldn't pull anything on you, and you came up with a plan for what to do if things began to take a turn for the worst. You nodded to yourself to confirm your plan as you reached the edge of town. He lead you to the nearby saloon and dismounted, hitching his horse as he waited for you to do the same. The saloon wasn't the most ideal dinner location in your mind, but at least  they would have good food.

After the two of you had received food and drink and taken a seat at one of the smaller tables, the man seemed to study you a moment before reluctantly taking a bite of food. You nervously did the same, glancing between him and your food a few times before deciding to speak up. "Um...so... I uh...don't believe we exchanged names." You lightly poked at your food with your fork as you spoke.

"Bell." He snorted a bit. "Micah Bell. N'yers?" He looked to you with curious eyes awaiting your response.

"Micah~" You smiled sweetly. "That's a lovely name." You caught yourself staring at him a moment before you realized you hadn't given your name. "Oh um... I'm (Y/N). It's um... It's a pleasure ta meetcha." You did your best to sound as pleasant as possible as you gave a nervous smile. You quickly returned to your food, a bit anxious about where things would go from here.

The meal seemed to drag on in silence, only the sound of other people talking and the piano playing filling your ears. It was honestly a bit odd how eager he was to talk to you before, and now he seemed almost...afraid to. You noticed him staring at you from time to time, but you tried not to let him know. You gingerly sipped your wine after you finished your meal. This was probably the most you had eaten at one time since having left home. At least he was willing to pay for it.

"So." He finally spoke up, almost causing you to jump out of your seat. "I ain't stupid. I know I've seen ya b'fore. If I'm not mistaken....you was in Strawberry a couple weeks back...wasn'ch?" He raised a brow and smirked.

Well shit. He had indeed recognized you from the exact place you hoped he wouldn't. You laughed nervously as you rubbed the back of your head. "Eheh...y-yeah... There was a pretty big uproar while I was there too... Couple'a crazy guys were shootin' up the place. I uh... I didn't stick 'round long enough ta find out why. Reckonned I'd be better off gettin' the hell outta there." Hopefully he wouldn't catch on that you recognized him as one of the 'crazy guys'.

Micah seemed amused by your statement. He chuckled a bit as he leaned back in his chair and knocked back a swig of his whisky. "Was pretty great, huh?" He laughed a bit louder and leaned back closer to you, arms resting on the table. "Y'know... Messes like that are some a the most fun experiences I've ever had in my life~ Ain't nothin' better then feelin' yer heart racin' as yer runnin' from the law. Gets yer blood pumpin' real good. N' just the idea that of death beein' at yer doorstep..."

You watched as his expression changed as he spoke. He went from being rather calm and possibly even a bit nervous to suddenly having an excited and crazed look in his eyes. The odd thing was...he seemed so passionate about this lifestyle he'd chosen. As if it meant the world to him. "Well...that's all well n' good if you're okay with dyin', but I'd rather play it safe and honest. I couldn't forgive m'self if I did somethin' reckless n' never made it home t'ma family."

Micah's expression suddenly changed once more. He frowned, furrowing his brows before allowing his expression to relax. He leaned back in his chair once more with a sigh. "Yeah...fam'ly...right..." Something seemed to be bothering him now. He quickly brought the bottle to his lips to slug back a few more swigs. His cheeks had become a bit rosey as the alcohol began to take affect.

You frowned as you looked at him. It seemed the mentioning of 'family' had struck something within him. Had something bad happened to his family? Did he even have a family? You felt bad for even bringing it up now. You sighed softly and finished off your wine before speaking once more. "Well... Thanks fer dinner... It was...lovely..." You slowly stood, preparing to head out now. You figured it would be best to not linger if you had done something wrong.

"Yer leavin'...?" He asked, not looking up to you as his had hid his face. He sounded almost...sad. Maybe a bit disappointed that you were leaving.

"Yeah. I prob'ly should. Best ta find a place n' set up camp b'fore it gets too dark." You replied softly. You felt bad now. Should you stay to make sure he was okay? You hardly knew the man, and he was clearly a dangerous outlaw.

"Y-y'know... A-a-a warm bed in a saloon room'd be much...nicer~" He peeked up at you from under his hat, seeming to force a slight smile. His speech seemed a bit off from the way he had been speaking before.

You had already told him you had no intentions of spending the night with him in a room, but...he seemed to lonely and a bit...depressed. Surely one night couldn't hurt. Besides, just because you shared a room for the night didn't mean you had to...y'know. "Well.... Alright. I'll stay with ya just fer t'night." You gave him a warm smile as you placed a hand on his shoulder.

He chuckled a bit before slowly standing, a bit wobbly as he tried to steady himself. "Alright then~!" He stumbled slightly as he made his way to the owner of the saloon to ask about a room.

You couldn't help but smile a bit at how much happier he seemed just by you saying yes. You smiled warmly as you watched him and waited to be called away from the noisy saloon scene. This would be your first night sharing a room with anyone aside from your older brother. You could feel your head swimming a bit from the couple of glasses of wine you had with dinner, and you hoped this didn't make you easier to persuade into anything. Just one night. It would be fine. Right?

[troybcker]

Devil's Kiss

Requested: @qtmeryr @virtueofheaven

Combined two requests 💌✨

italic = flashback

Tags: @wintergirlsoilder2 @vergol @kusooi @deathstrandjng @natcaptor

(A/N: I'm officially back and I want to say thank you to everyone who sent me such wonderful messages and instead of just Death Stranding, I will be writing other characters of different games. xoxo 💘)

Higgs wasn't a good person, he's an awful person who tried to kill both you and Sam and yet, you were a stuttering mess around him. It was truly embarrassing but you just couldn't help it.

Much to your surprise, he became your friend? It was an odd relationship between you and him but it was better than him trying to murder you. At first, you only humor him and tried not to get yourself killed but overtime, you became excited to see Higgs.

He became the highlight of your day.

You enjoyed his company and hanged off his every word. Higgs was charming and was cool as a cucumber. You couldn't help but be a lovesick puppy over him. It was hard to hide that fact from everyone else but Higgs saw right through your lies. He knew how you felt and he still teased you relentlessly.

A yawn escaped your mouth as you sat your things down beside you, the Timefall creating a soft sound.

You were taking care of Sam's deliveries before Timefall came. It was worst than usual and you decided to use the time to rest for a bit. You weren't used to walking so much, only making small deliveries, but Sam needed the extra hands for a few of them. You were happy to help, ignoring the concerned comments from Deadman.

You've never been so far away from Bridges or Deadman, only making small deliveries. So when Sam asked for your help, Deadman was quick to deny Sam's offer. You were one of the only things that Deadman actually connected to, the other being Sam and Lou.

It took a lot of convincing but Deadman was finally on board, sorta but not really. While strapping everything on, Deadman gave you a big speech about the dangers of the BT's and the mules. You couldn't help but laugh at his behavior, his own laughter soon joining yours.

You gave him a hug before heading out, a hand grabbing your forearm. You expected a goofy Deadman but his face told a different story, "And never get near Higgs or the Homo Demens. You run away from them as fast as you can, understood?"

You slowly nodded your head before officially heading to your first location.

You were thankful for the clear skies and the warm weather. You didn't want to admit it but you were nervous about the trip. Especially after Deadman's speech about BT's and Mules but the Higgs part scared you the most. You've never seen him before but you remember Sam mentioning his name.

Maybe it was luck but you were thankful to have pick a cave that had large, smooth rocks for you to lay against. You picked one that was facing the open view. Timefall may be a terrible thing for everyone but you found it intriguing.

You crossed your arms before leaning back against the rock, taking one last glance at the view before falling into a deep slumber.

You slept for a couple of hours before slowly coming back to the real world. You moaned a bit as you stretched your legs from their curled postion. It felt good to stretched after a deep slumber. You yawned before laying your head back down on your stuff.

You stayed in this postion for a second, attempting to go back asleep, before feeling something stroke your hair. "You must've have had an adventure to be this tired or maybe you just wanna stay close to me."

Your eyes opened wide, already feeling your cheeks get warm at the postion. Not really sure how you got in the situation but your head was laying on the man's thigh, a little too close to his-

"Timefall should let up soon and you'll be able to head back home, doesn't that sound nice?" The man spoke, his mask making his voice husky.

You slowly sat up, thinking of multiple ways to get out of this situation. You heard the man chuckle before he stood up, lending you a hand. Although most people wouldn't take it, you had somewhat faith that this man wouldn't kill you if you played your cards right.

He pulled you up before undoing the sleeves of your suit, slightly grazing the open skin on your stomach. It took a second to realize that he was helping you pack everything back up, preparing you to go back out.

Neither of you said anything as he made sure your packages were tightly packed on. You couldn't see his face but you were lost in his golden mask. Being shorter than him, you got to study the small details in his mask.

The man made a small noise before removing his left glove, putting it in his right hand. His ungloved hand cupped your face, with his thumb resting upon your lower lip. You'd be lying if you said you weren't scared at the moment.

"Open your mouth" He whispered, a small 'ah' falling from his lips when you obeyed, slightly parting your lips. You were in trance by this man but who was he? You desperately wanted to know who he was and why he had so much power over you.

Before you knew it, the man disappeared when he heard a man call out for you. It took you a second to collect your thoughts but when you did, you realised that Sam was calling out for you.

Too busy with daydreaming, you weren't paying attention to your path and ended up tripping. You let out a little moan of pain before hearing the devil's voice.

"You really are falling for me, huh?" You could tell by Higgs smug voice that he was smirking. You rolled your eyes before getting back up, dusting yourself off. The packages were still safe and sound on you.

Ignoring Higgs, you started back on your path to East Knox. It didn't surprise you that he started following you but you were surprised that he was staying quiet. Higgs usually was annoying you or took your stuff to hide. He wanted your attention 24/7.

"Are you speechless because I'm just that attractive?"

You stopped in your tracks before smacking his arm, "Higgs, I've never seen your face before. You're always wearing that stuipd mask! God, you're annoying!"

Your little outburst was shocking to both you and Higgs but it was tiring to love someone and still not see what they look like. Not giving him a chance to reply, you started walking faster.

It wasn't long until you felt bad about what you said, it was hard to stay mad at Higgs. Swallowing your pride, you turn around to apologize but Higgs was nowhere to be seen. Shocker! Another tantrum from "The Particle of God that Permeates All Existence". You rolled your eyes before turning back around, coming face to face with Higgs.

"Wow" You said in a low whispered tone. Higgs had removed his mask but still kept that damn hood on. It didn't really matter because you could still the little details on his face. You were falling in love all over again.

Higgs smirked at your reaction, "You really are speechless, huh?" He laughed a little bit as you study his face. You fell in love with his blue eyes and the black rings that wrapped around them.

Reality set in and you begun to realized that you were staring a bit too long at Higgs face. Looking down, you quickly apologize for yelling at him and for staring. Higgs let out a little 'hm' before grabbing your chin, bringing you back to his face.

"I loved watching you run around and drop things off for Deadman. It was entertaining," Higgs stopped for a moment, picking his words carefully. "but I realized that I was focusing so much on you that I didn't care about anything else."

Higgs almost seemed amused by your reaction but you knew he was still the same old Higgs. You couldn't forget what he did to everyone, especially to Sam. Higgs wasn't a good guy, he would never changed.

The war in your head went away after Higgs pulled you in for a kiss.

He truly was the devil

this sucks im sorry

[askthelovbutnot]

I finished Shigaraki’s story so here’s that!

—————————————————

Tenko Shimura was just a boy with a dream, a dream to be a hero. However that dream was impossible thanks to his father, just the idea of it made him angry enough to take it out on little Tenko. Often throwing him outside and leaving him there till morning, Tenko learned to find some comfort in his puppy named Kirby.

Although the rest of his family see what happens to him they did nothing to stop it, all they did was comfort him after. He didn't mind too much, didn't hate or blame them. He knew they were just looking out for themselves too, not wanting to be a victim. His older sister Hana was the one often told him the stories of heros, how they saved people and how strong they were. He always admired them.

But one day when she snuck him into their fathers study to show him that their grandma was a hero too, all went to hell. Their father found out, and Hana blamed him for going in there in the first place. So he was thrown back outside and left there for the night, however Tenko was tired of that. He didn't wanna be treated like that anymore, so when his mother came to check on him...he ran.

He ran for the front door. Shoved Hana out of the way with his elbow, pushed past his grandparents who were coming in from shopping and into the front yard. His mother and father quickly followed after him for different reasons.

"Tenko! Get back here right now!" His father yelled as his wife tried holding him back.

"Darling please! He's just a child! Let me bring him back, you're scaring him." She yelled as Tenko didn't stop running.

"Get off me!" His father yelled in reply and shoved her off him. Hearing his mother's yelp of pain, Tenko quickly turned back and ran towards her to help her. Passing his father.

His mom hugged and held him to protect him from her husband but that only made him more angry. He raised a hand to hit her and- he was shoved away. Little Tenko had gone into some sort of hero mode and even though he was scared of his father, he jumped to save his mother. Shutting his eyes and shoving him back with both his small hands.

Silence filled the air.

Then a scream.

"Darling!" His mother screamed as she ran to her husband and held him in her arms as he slowly started to crumble away. His quirk had manifested, at the worst time. He froze, unsure what to do. Staring at his hands in confusion and fear, his grandparents and sister stood in the doorway also unsure what to do.

"What have you done Tenko?!" His mother screamed at him as she held her nothing but blood and dust now. Falling back to the ground in panic, he seen his mother's eyes. Fear, disgust, and regret. Looking towards to doorway seeing the same in his other family members, he decided to run. He didn't know what else to do.

He heard his name being called but he didn't stop, he just kept running. Not knowing where he was going or what would happen. He didn't care, he was scared of hurting them, scared of himself.

.

.

.

.

.

Oboro Shirakumo, a new graduate from UA. Was just on his way home after sorting out some stuff at the school, when suddenly he felt something or someone bump into him. Looking down he found a young boy with back hair, the ends of it being a light blue. The boy seemed to be in some sort of daze, just standing there not saying a word. So he decided he would.

"Are you okay? I didn't see you there, I'm sorry." He apologized as he kneeled down to the boys level. Still no response.

"Where are your parents? What's your name? What are you doing by yourself?" He rambled on with questions as he carefully pushed a strand of hair back to show some of the boys face. Looking down he noticed some blood on his hands but didn't say anything. Afraid he'd scare him.

For the first time in what felt like forever, Tenko looked up to the stranger and didn't see fear. And for the first time since that night, he felt calm and safe. So safe that he felt his eyes get heavy and found himself falling asleep. No literally falling, luckily Oboro had caught him though. Clutching his fist against his own chest as to not hurt the man, Tenko fell asleep in his arms.

"How long have you been walking? Where did you come from? What have you seen? And most importantly... who's blood is on your hands?" Oboro questioned as he started walking to his apartment with no other idea what to do.

Soon the young boy woke up, well rested he was more aware of the situation he was in. Wanting to look around the apartment he was in but also scared of accidentally touching anything, he sat still. Then the man who had saved him came in with a tray of food and drinks, and a smile.

"Hi my name is Shirakumo Oboro, I thought you might be hungry. Please don't be scared I swear I'm not gonna do something weird, though if you think that good job of being cautious." He laughed.

He set the tray down in front of Tenko and sat down across from him, observing him. Staring at the tray Tenko went to grab the cup that held some sort of juice in it, carefully grabbing it with 4 fingers and. Then once in reach of his other hand, held it with both hands. Once he did this it quickly turned into dust, once he'd seen this he quickly pulled his hands away and stumbled back. Fear filling his eyes.

"I-I'm sorry. I didn't mean to... He cried.

Oboro sat there stunned. Realizing it must have been his quirk.

"It's okay. It's your quirk right? What is it exactly, if I may ask."

Tenko looked at his hands, then to the small pile of dust from the once full juice cup. A flashback to his father and how he started to crumble right before him. He shook his head out of the thought.

"..estroy….to destroy. It seems that's all I can do." He said quietly. During the past days while he was walking, he'd pick up stones to toss but before he could, they'd turn to dust. He came to to conclusion that it was his quirk.

"I destroy everything I touch…"

Nodding, Oboro went back to the kitchen and got another cup of juice. He placed on the tray again and looked towards the boy.

"Try again, but only use 4 fingers." He instructed.

Confused and afraid, Tenko stretched out a shaking hand and did as told. And to his surprise, it didn't crumble under his touch.

"Just as I thought, it's only when you use all five fingers. See, if you don't do that you're fine! Now you can enjoy the juice!" Oboro smiled.

Quickly looking to him with wide eyes and a look awe then turning back to the cup, he started trying to drink is as fast as he could. He ended up choking but Oboro was there to pat his back.

The two started to get more familiar with each and days passed by. Oboro still searched for the boys family whenever he could but what took most of his time was trying to help young Tenko get used of his quirk. Going as far to go back to UA to design special gloves based on artist gloves so he could touch things normally.

Oboro learned a couple things as he took care of the boy. One, his quirk was called Decay. Two, he had a habit of scratching himself when he gets anxious, though he doesn't seem to be aware when he does it. Three, his father died and it was the only thing he remembered.

He worried about him not being able to remember anything before his father's death but didn't push it as it caused him to freak out and started scratching himself till he bleed.

And when it came to his name, since he didn't remember what it was Oboro suggested he'd make up a new one. So came Tomura Shigaraki. Tomura meaning to mourn, and Shigaraki taking inspiration from Oboro's own last name. Shirakumo. 9 letters, starting with Shi, course Tomura would never tell Oboro that.

Little did either of them know, at least one of Tenko’s family members didn’t forget him. Because she’s still looking. Looking for her little brother when her mom refused after the accident, because unlike her she still loves him with all her heart. Maybe that day will come where they meet again and he remembers, or maybe it’s better he doesn’t. Only time will tell.

[mymoodwriting]

Patience Is A Virtue

Mark/Haechan, Johnny/Haechan, Mark/Johnny, Johnny/Haechan/Mark

Genre: College/Yandere AU

Warning: Drugs, Anxiety, PTSD, Betray, Flashback, Stalking, Obsession

Words: 3.2K

Chapters:

One | Two | Three | Four | Five | Six | Seven | Eight | Nine | Ten | Eleven | Twelve | Thirteen | Epilogue

Prompt: Haechan and Mark had been friends for years, and things were good that way. For almost a year they had been apart and when they come back together Haechan can’t help but think there could be more between them. One thing leads to another and a nice dinner date at Mark’s house becomes the start of Haechan’s worst nightmare coming true.

    Haechan didn’t want to stay alone, especially not after an argument like that. He texted Mark, asking if it would be alright to come over and hang out. He was already wanting to go over and apologize but he didn’t want to show up unannounced and cause more problems. He stood outside Mark’s place for a few minutes before he built up the courage to ring the doorbell.

    When Mark opened the door he offered a small smile, thinking things would be awkward but they weren’t. As soon as Mark saw him he pulled him into a tight hug, nearly picking the other off the ground. Haechan couldn’t help but laugh, previous tensions melting away. Mark pulled him into the house, a big smile on his face.

 “I’m so glad you’re here! I was thinking we could order some food and hang out and-”

 “Aren’t you mad?”

 “What?”

 “The other day… I got drunk again and-”

 “No, of course not. I could never be mad at you, it’s not your fault. You’re going through things and I wasn’t being very supportive. I promise to do better.”

 “You don’t need to say all that…” Haechan was blushing. “I still feel awful for everything.”

 “It’s not your fault, I’m gonna help take better care of you okay. Let’s move past this, I don’t like seeing you upset. If it makes you feel better I’ll hide away all the liquor, okay.”

 “Yeah, that’d help.”

 “Okay then, you go get comfy in the living room and I’ll get to it.”

 “Cool.”

    Haechan settled down on the couch, setting his bag down. He had actually brought his backpack, wanting to work things out with Mark and hopefully catch up on school work with him. It’d feel like last semester when they were both taking classes and would spend hours together doing homework.

 “I see someone finally got out of bed.”

    Mark jumped on the couch next to Haechan, leaning against him.

 “What makes you say that?”

 “Doyoung told me you hadn’t been going to school.”

 “Does Jaehyun not know how to keep his mouth shut.”

 “He just cares about you.”

 “I know, but still, I feel awful though, got into a fight earlier today.”

 “Is everything okay?”

 “Yeah, but we still left off on a bad note.”

 “You can talk to him tomorrow then, no one can stay mad at you.”

 “Alright, stop, before I turn red.”

 “You’d look so cute.”

 “Mark!” Haechan laughed. “I do wanna do some homework.”

 “Okay, okay, what do you want to eat then? Noodles, meat, sugar?”

 “Hm… I don’t know, surprise me.”

 “Very well then. You want something to drink?”

 “Got some soda?”

 “Yeah, I’ll get you some.”

    Haechan definitely felt a lot better knowing Mark wasn’t mad at him and he could spend some time together. The other boy was certainly very cuddly and loving, somewhat distracting him from homework. They talked about classes, Mark thinking about what to take and wondering if he could have some with Haechan. It really felt like before Mark disappeared abroad, having stayed longer since he had so much fun and could afford to do so.

 “Next time I go abroad you should absolutely go with me.”

 “Yeah?”

 “Yeah, it could be like a cool vacation we can have.”

 “While studying.”

 “Well duh, I wanna see you in a cute cap and gown one day ya know.”

 “So do I.”

    When the food came they took a study break, Mark feeding Haechan. Afterwards the two cuddled on the couch. It was getting late and Haechan was clearly sleepy, the stress of the last few days getting to him.

 “Hey, why don’t we move to the bedroom.”

 “No…”

 “Hm?”

 “No.” Haechan sat up and stretched. “I want to go home, Jaehyun hasn’t texted me so he’s not home either. I rather go to bed on much better terms with him.”

 “Okay, I’ll walk you home.”

 “You don’t have to.”

 “Come on, let me walk my cute boyfriend home, I got nothing better to do anything.”

 “Okay.”

    Haechan gave Mark a kiss on the cheek, making the other blush madly. The two walked hand in hand to Haechan’s apartment, the night air providing a cool breeze.

 “You better get a good night’s sleep.” Mark said. “As good as you can without me.”

 “Alright, alright. I’ll-”

 Mark pulled him close, hands around his waist. “Promise me?”

 “Yes Mark.” Haechan giggled. “Promise, maybe next time I come over I’ll stay the night.”

 “Okay, good night.”

 “Night.”

    Haechan kissed Mark, the two only moving away when they were out of breath. Mark clearly wanted more, his head gently following Haechan, the two smiled, saying good night once again with their eyes. They didn’t let go of each other till the last moment.

    Haechan made his way upstairs, the place still quiet. He looked out the window, laughing to see that Mark was still there. He waved down at the boy, and with that Mark started walking away. The night had gone better than he hoped for, so he was very happy. He got some snacks, wanting to wait up for Jaehyun to talk again. Thankfully he didn’t have to wait long before the other came home and they talked.

    Jaehyun wasn’t one to hold a grudge, a very kind and forgiving person. With that all settled they could both go to sleep in peace. While laying in bed Haechan saw that Mark had texted him, another good night with kissy emojis. He texted back similarly and then prepared for bed, having a good night’s sleep for once.

 ♥♥♥♥♥

 “I bet you’d look awesome in this.”

 “Is this really necessary?” Haechan whined. “I don’t need new clothes. It’s just a job interview.”

 “It’s an opportunity, and you should be at your best.”

 “Just admit you wanted to go shopping and Jaehyun was busy.”

    Doyoung didn’t say anything but his silence was a clear response. Haechan laughed but continued to indulge the other.

 “What do you need then? Waiting tables can really stain a white shirt.”

 “I know. I do need a few replacements and back ups. I’m a go try these on okay.”

 “Yeah I’ll see if anything really catches my attention.”

 “Good.”

    Haechan looked around for a while. He wasn’t really in need for anything new, not even something for an interview. Still, maybe he could find anything, besides it was more about spending time with Doyoung. They did most of their talking at work but that’s not an option anymore, so the shopping invite was graciously accepted.

    He stopped when he found some nice shirts, browsing around. His phone chimed and he checked to see a message from Mark confirming their date for that night. They did hang out a lot but it was nice to plan a proper date too. When Haechan looked back up he ran.

    Doyoung stepped out of the dressing room as Haechan shoved him back in and locked the door. The other was surprised and confused but that quickly turned to concern as he saw Haechan hyperventilating.

 “What happened? Haechan, breath, you’re okay.”

    Haechan had huddled in the corner trying to calm his breath. Doyoung waited patiently, a few ideas running through his head.

 “I… I thought I saw… him… for a second. I got so scared I just ran…”

 “It’s okay, he’s not here alright, you’re safe.”

 “I know… I just thought… gosh I’m so pathetic. I keep having nightmares of him chasing me and hurting Mark… now I’m just hallucinating. I’m sorry.”

 “You have nothing to apologize for. You’ve had a lot on your mind and I suppose those dreams aren’t helping. Besides it’s nearing to your anniversary.”

 “What?”

 “It’s almost been a year since you broke up with you know who… guess your subconscious was more aware of that then you.”

 “Yeah…”

 “Besides, he’s long gone you know that. You have a restraining order and he doesn’t seem like an idiot.”

 “I was the idiot.”

 “Ya, don’t talk like that. He fooled us all. Look, if you ever wanna talk about that stuff, I’m here, it could help but it’s up to you okay.”

 “Thanks.”

 “Are you good to get out of here?”

 “Yes, please.”

 “Okay, let’s get something to eat.”

 ♥♥♥♥♥

    Haechan took Doyoung’s advice, he wanted to talk to someone and he knew who.

 “Mark… look I know this is our date night but… there’s something I need to tell you…”

 “Is everything okay? Are you hurt? Do I need-”

 “No, no, nothing like that. It’s just… you should know about my ex…”

 “Oh, we don’t need to-”

 “I know but I want to talk about this. I don’t wanna keep this from you.”

 “Alright… I’m listening then…”

    Haechan took Mark’s hands, taking a moment to try and find the right words. Mark waited patiently, having an idea what to expect of this conversation. The silence was certainly suffocating, but it was better to let Haechan collect his thoughts.

 “I’ve always had feelings for you, so when you went abroad, I was pretty lonely. Not that everyone else ignored me… you were just a big constant in my life that it felt weird not having you around. Then when I met… Johnny…  a few weeks after you left. He was nice and… he was always there for me… like he filled… more like he took your place… looking back now… gosh he was probably watching us…” Haechan took a breath. “It was nice to have someone like that. We were friends first and then one night… I kissed him and I freaked out. I didn’t wanna ruin anything but he… was into it… gosh he was so excited he was probably waiting to do that himself…”

 “Take it easy, you don’t have to reminisce over everything okay, I’m not upset over this. I’m sad I wasn’t there for you. I was out having a good time and you were suffering.”

 “It’s not your fault, you didn’t know anything… I never mentioned him to you… I don’t even…”

 “We didn’t talk much while I was away, I was hard to reach anyway, but I should have kept in contact more.”

 “Maybe, but even then you were miles away, it wouldn’t have changed anything. When we started dating everything was great… it was the best thing, I thought maybe I found the one… but it was like a honeymoon, it’s not forever. He got along great with everyone, but then he started cancelling my plans without telling me, going everywhere with me, he wouldn’t leave my side… I tried to talk to him about it once… and then… then I got sick… really sick… he… he…”

    Haechan started to panic, talking out loud about him, so many things started to click. He never really thought about his ex, didn’t want to, but now. This walk down memory lane, he expected it to be quick and just bad memories but it was so much worse.

 “Haechan, breathe, okay, it’s in the past.”

 “I was sick for weeks… I felt like I was dying, and he was always there with a smile on his face… happy to look after me… I got better when he… he had to leave for a while, Jaehyun was supposed to look after me but Doyoung ended up being the one… and I got better… I didn’t know Joh… I didn’t know… or maybe a part of me did know… I avoided him after I got better, I wanted to break up, I had Doyoung go with me and… he did not take it well.”

 “Did he hurt you?”

 “No… no he didn’t, he was just trying to talk to me, but Doyoung wouldn’t let me stick around. I made my peace, and he wasn’t going to let me get swept in him again. That’s when the stalking started. He’d be waiting for me outside my classes, be at my dorm, show up at work, he wouldn’t leave me alone. I had to have someone with me at all times, I just didn’t feel safe anywhere, and Taeyong convinced me to get a restraining order. That upset him… although he wasn’t mad at me, he was mad at all my friends. He broke into my dorm to talk to me around that time, he was telling me my friends weren’t… that they didn’t care about me and were just messing with me. I barely heard half the things he was saying cause I was so scared he was going to kill me.”

 “Haechan…”

 “My roommate found us, got security, the court certainly pushed for the restraining order after that. When it was all settled Johnny tried to talk to me again, but he couldn’t, that’s when Jaehyun asked me to move in with him, feel safer. I did… I didn’t see him anymore, it was all good…”

 “But?”

 “It’s been a year… almost, since we broke up and I’ve just been on edge lately.”

 “You’re okay now, and you’re going to be.” Mark pulled him in for a hug. “I’ll be here for you, every step of the way.”

    Despite all the negative memories, Haechan was relieved to have talked to someone, to be reminded that despite all the good things Johnny was still a monster.

 “Can I get you something love?” Mark asked. “Water? Juice? No alcohol of course.”

 “Water… got anything sugary?”

 “I think I got some cookies we can devour, but you did come over for dinner, so how about I set that up first.”

 “Yeah, yeah that sounds good.”

 “Cool, so just hold on for a bit okay.”

 “Okay.”

    Mark went off to the kitchen, Haechan deciding to watch some TV. After awhile he went over to the bathroom. On his way out he noticed the door to the second guest room ajar. Mark told him it was always locked, so to see it open was certainly interesting. His curiosity got the best of him and he made his way over, stepping inside.

    He expected the room to be empty, but it wasn’t. Posters hung on the wall, and a few photos as well. He stepped into the room, starting to blush and hide his laughter. The photos on the wall were off him, some taken off social media, others he remembered Mark taking. He started to feel bad that he didn’t have as many pictures of Mark in his own room, but then again this wasn’t even Mark’s.

 “You’re not supposed to be here.” Mark was at the door. “How did you-”

 “It was open, sorry, I couldn’t help myself. Now, I don’t know if I should be flattered or laughing. Is this why you didn’t want me in this room? Your little shrine to me? Honestly it’s very-”

    Haechan suddenly stopped, and he felt this terror rise in him. His eyes landed on the pictures standing on the nightstand. He was smiling, he was happy, it wasn’t a bad picture, but it was one of him and Johnny. A picture they had taken on their first date. Then there was the other one next to it, a picture of him sleeping in his bed, in Jaehyun’s apartment.

 “Mark… do you know… Johnny…”

 “You weren’t supposed to-”

 “Weren’t supposed to what?”

    If Haechan could scream his throat would have gone hoarse, but he couldn’t find it in him. When Johnny appeared behind Mark he felt his whole world crashing down. He was trapped, but most of all he was living a nightmare. When Johnny noticed him he merely smiled, as if nothing was wrong.

 “Hi, Haechan, long time. I live here with Mark, he’s a very good boy.” He chuckled and kissed Mark’s cheek. “Usually when you come over I just stay locked up in my room, don’t want to upset you, but I had to step out for a second and here we are. A bit sooner than expected.”

 “Mark…” Haechan’s voice was shaking. “What did-”

 “I’m sorry.” Mark said, although it wasn’t directed to Haechan. “I didn’t know he’d come over here and-”

 “Sh, sh, sh, you didn’t do anything wrong, this just means we get to start sooner. It’s not a bad thing, I’ve missed Haechan like crazy.”

    Johnny walked into the room, Haechan stepping back, starting to look for some sort of weapon he could use. He wanted, needed, to get out of that house immediately.

 “Just take it easy Haechan, I’m not going to hurt you.”

    The older boy had gotten a syringe out of the nightstand drawer. Haechan finding himself defenseless, trying to think of another way out.

 “I just want things to go back to the way they were, so come on, don’t be scared.”

    Haechan grabbed one of the frames off the wall and threw it at Johnny and then bolted out of the room. He shoved Mark out of the way, not knowing how to feel about their relationship anymore. He didn’t care to grab his things, making a run for the door. The footsteps behind him terrified him and they were getting closer. As his hand reached for the door knob he was pulled back. He kicked and screamed, finding himself trapped in Mark’s arms.

 “Let me go!” He screamed, tears building in his eyes. “Mark let me go! Please! Please stop this!”

 “He only wants what’s best for you.”

 “What!? No, no, let me go! What’s wrong with you?! He almost killed me!”

 “I would never do such a thing.” Johnny admitted as he approached. “I could never hurt you. Now you need to stop before you hurt yourself or Mark.”

 “Stay away from me!”

    Mark wound up pinning him against the wall, leaving him with practically no room to move. He was still screaming and crying, the fear consuming him. He tried to get away moreso when he felt the needle in his neck, but it was too late He could feel himself growing weak, Mark’s own grip on him loosening. He was turned around, barely able to keep his eyes open, and then he was pulled into Johnny’s arm, the older petting him.

 “There, there, it’s going to be okay, you’re home now, where you belong. I know you missed me, and I’m never gonna let any of those so called friends of yours take you away from me again. I’m going to keep you safe, promise.”

    He kissed Haechan’s head, the boy now drowsy and barely awake. Johnny wiped away his tears and picked him up in his arms, Mark following closely behind.

 “Is he going to be okay?”

 “He’ll be just fine with us, as happy as ever. Just like the old days.”

 ♥♥♥♥♥

     2 Years Ago  

    Johnny stared out the window of the cafe, letting his eyes focus on something besides his computer screen for once. The sky was blue with a few clouds to provide the occasional shade. He was lost in thought when laughter pulled him away. He looked around for the source and his eyes found him. Such a beautiful boy with the brightest smile and loveliest laugh.

 “Haechan.”

    The bartender called out his name and handed him his coffee order. He watched as the boy and a friend left the cafe, eyes following until he was out of sight. He closed his eyes so he could see that smile again, bringing one to his own face. He so badly wanted that smile for himself, and he was going to have it.

[telltheworld-phff]

Chapter 48: Bump

Harry’s mouth went dry when he saw it.

One of his hands, without him even noticing, grabbed one of the tests and he looked closely to it as if that was a dream he was going to wake up from. But it seemed as harder he looked, the brighter those undeniable straws became.

Neither of them would ever forget the feeling of those bright pink straws.

Neither of them would ever forget the feeling in their gut when they saw it.

He could hear Carol crying on the background and he knew he needed to react right and fast as to not scare her, as not to give her the wrong impression. How could he do that as he didn’t even knew for sure how he was feeling at the moment, never imagined he’d be filled with so many emotions at once. He was happy, he was so fucking happy because he was going to be a father.

He was happy because she would be the mother of his child and that nothing in this world would ever be more important to him than his family. He had a family of his own as of now.

But in between his family and whichever feeling he had about them, stood his title and position. He did not want to think about it right now. He had to partially hide his emotions and conflicting thoughts to be able to be there for the woman he loved and that was now carrying his child. Their child.

He turned around and saw her, crying and a bit disheveled.

“Darling...” he started.

“I’m sorry, Harry.” she begged. “I’m so so sorry.” she hiccuped mid-sentence.

“There’s nothing to be sorry for.” he answered sincerely and approached her. He caressed her face and embraced her, making sure that he was even more loving than usual. He couldn’t even start and try to imagine what was going through her mind right now. “Shhh… please don’t cry my darling,” he said while fighting his own urge to cry, both from happiness and worry. He couldn't lose her. Not after all the battles he had fought.

“I have messed up.” she said into his chest.

“Carol… you did not make this child by yourself,” he answered calmly. “This is a blessing.”

“What are we going to do? We just started dating, I still have to finish my master's… you are not a  common man, Harry. You are a prince and this child will be called a bastard for the rest of his or her life.” she cried even harder after this.

That thought had not crossed his mind until she mentioned it. It was so easy for him to forget who he was whenever he was around her, that just now the seriousness of this situation started to make its space into his mind. He would need to deal with his father and grandmother – to whom he had promised to treat Carol respectfully and accordingly – but worst than them, he would have to deal with the press. And by experience, there wasn’t much of what he could do. He would not be able to keep his girl and his baby safe from the media’s nasty words.

Gently he started to guide her to his bedroom and sat her on his bed. He kneeled in front of her, holding both of her hands between his and she gasped.

“Please don’t do what I think you are going to do.” she said sharply.

“I’m not going to propose.” he said a bit hurt. Both that she thought he would propose in the middle of his bedroom and that she was going to say no if he did it now. “I just want you to look at me and listen to me carefully. Ok?”

She nodded.

“Words cannot describe the mix of feelings I have right now. It will take me a while to understand most of it but I am beyond happy that we are going to have a child. I want you to know and be certain that I want this child. I am not thinking of the hardships and troubles we are going to have… For me, there is no other way than for us to have this baby. But I will support you on any decision you make.” he took a long breath. “I am thrilled that you are going to be the mother of my baby and… please, not for a moment think this is going to be a burden. I have no idea what we are going to do from now on, but I will be by your side every step of this way and we will find out together.”

Her heart broke into a million pieces when she saw the thin tear roll down his cheeks. She noticed that he also wanted to cry, as she was doing since the first test came out positive.

She kneeled in front of him and hugged him tightly. Her mind had taken the best of her and she had imagined lots of things of how he would react and in all scenarios, he would react badly. She took a mental note to stop underestimating Harry. He proved her wrong all the time.

“We didn’t even have the talk about children.” she whispered.

“You know I always wanted to be a father.” he whispered back. “Don’t you?”

“Yes, I do. But this soon?” she said.

“I don’t regret it… could it happen in the future, with us married and after enjoying a bit more of our lives? Yes… but if God sent us this blessing now… it might as well be what we are needing at the moment.” He never thought he would be this faithful, but he was. Nothing happens without a reason. And they would figure out what this unplanned pregnancy would mean to them.

She pecked his lips and got up. She laid on his bed and he soon was with her. He caressed her face, her eyes and her lips. His hands knew every inch of her body, and slowly it was placed upon where their child was growing. He smiled big and caressed it for a long time her still a non-existent bump.

“You didn’t tell me you were having pregnancy symptoms.” he said.

“I wasn’t. I mean.. the symptoms were sleepiness, heartburn, headache.”

“Our child is already special… giving you unusual symptoms.” they both laughed at that.

“When do you think this child was conceived?” she asked.

“I don’t recall…” He tried to remember when he had failed to use a condom. “Oh my God.”

“What?” she said startled.

“The beach… that was the only time where we were unprotected. He or she was made under the stars.”

“That is romantic… if we don’t consider all the other facts.”

“That was the night you accepted to be my girlfriend.” he smiled and she soon followed. Her smile still not reaching her eyes. “Guess I won’t have you only to myself for so long then.”

“Yeah… we got a souvenir from that night, huh?” he felt a bit more relieved that she was already making jokes about it. That meant that she was still with him. And that her mind wasn’t taking her to places where he wasn’t sure he would be able to rescue her from… and save their relationship at the same time.

“If you weren’t feeling any symptoms… how come you decided to take a test?” he asked.

“Sofia pointed it out.” Carol said and told him the conversation she had with the princess.

Flashback

“Carol… don’t get me wrong, please. But are you sure these heartburns are normal?” Sofia asked her when Carol was putting on her coat to leave and go to her hotel. Her friend had a thin line of sweat on her forehead, was a bit pale and out of breath.

“Well… Normal is not feeling anything, but I guess its just stress. I am working and traveling a lot, studying for a master's degree and dating a prince.” Carol said.

“Well… you do have a crazy lifestyle, don’t you?” they both laughed. “But aren’t you pregnant?”

Carol stared at Sofia as if she was the craziest person on the face of earth.

“Are you out of your mind, Sofia?” Carol laughed at that. “I’m not pregnant.”

“Are you sure?”  Sofia crossed her arms and stared at Carol’s bump. Defying her friend to say otherwise.

“Well… I’m not late, it is expected in a couple of days. And I’ve only had headaches and heartburns. I’m sleepy all the time because I barely have much time to sleep anyways. There aren’t any pregnancy symptoms. Chill.”

“Ok... sorry to mention it, but I saw when you got a bit dizzy while carrying Alex… and we’ve been friends for a while and you never mentioned you suffered from heartburns ever… and you always had this kind of lifestyle of overworking, barely sleeping...” Sofia said the concern on her friend’s face. “I guess this won’t be the time I will become “aunt Sofia” then.”

End of flashback

“That was when I noticed that I miscalculated my period. It was two weeks late and not too week to come… The rest, you know...” Carol said.

“How do you want things to go?” Harry asked after she said.

“Can it be a secret for a while?” Carol nervously bit her lip.

“Of course… I mean we need to go to a doctor and make sure everything’s ok… But we can tell people whenever you feel ready for it.”

“I am going to ask Agnes for an appointment. Do you want to come?”

“I wouldn’t miss it.” he pecked her lips.

“For now… let’s just the three of us know. I am probably around week 5 or 6, still too soon to spill the beans, right?”

“Right.” he agreed and did not understand why she was counting the time in weeks.

“Then we need to know how to tell your grandma… Never thought next time I would meet the Queen would be to tell her that I am carrying a child who is likely to be born out of wedlock.”

“One day at a time, darling.” Harry said. “One day at a time.”

“I want to speak Portuguese with the baby.” she said. “I miss speaking Portuguese every day and he or she not knowing the language would break my heart.”

“You can speak whichever language you prefer, darling. It will need to communicate with grandma.” he said.

“Yes...” she started crying again and he wondered why. “She will be so disappointed. How come I get pregnant at a young age, not married… We are going to disappoint lots of important people.”

“But that’s their problem, not ours. We love each other. And we are together. And we will raise this child together. That’s what really matters.”

She pretended she didn’t hear the L-word. She wasn’t ready for that. Yet.

“What about press and media?” she asked.

“Carol… let’s not fret over things beyond our control. We shall deal with that when we come to it, ok?”

“Ok.”

They stared at each other for a few minutes.

“Harry?”

“Yes?”

“Thank you.”

“For what?”

“For staying… for reacting the way you did. It really helped.” she whispered. “I thought you would freak out, yell, end things…”

“You should really try to control that creative mind of yours. It does wonders on work and school… but in your personal life, you always try to expect the worst from everyone. And not everyone is like that...”

He just kissed her to show and reassure her that he was not going to go anywhere. And that they would face this together.

(…)

When she was asleep, he got out of bed and went downstairs to pour himself a glass of scotch, making sure to have a double dose. His mind was running but he wouldn’t dare to let her notice it, as he knew how she would get. He was immensely happy and thrilled to know that he was going to be a father. He finally would have a family of his own and accomplish one of his greatest dreams, but everything that came together with it was going to give them a hard time. He knew Carol would oppose moving into Nottingham Cottage and he wouldn’t be able to live with her at her flat. He wasn’t even sure that she could if she wanted to, move in with him.

He knew his grandmother would be happy for him, but at the same time she would be disappointed at him for doing things the wrong way. She was a ninety-two-year-old lady after all. She would tell him that this situation wasn’t how he was groomed to have his family starting.

His father would give him hell for the whole pregnancy, might even stop talking to him. He was afraid of how his father would look at Carol. Would he be able to see how fantastic, hardworking and trustable woman she was? Or he would simply look at their slip and take her as a gold digger?

And he didn’t even want to know what Maria and Flavio would say. He didn’t know them that well, but he knew that Maria had big dreams for Carol and that she wasn’t one to encourage skipping steps of life. She had, after all, worked her ass off to be able to keep her daughter in college. She herself had carefully gone through all the right steps in her own life. He had started to see Maria as a mom and he would not want her disappointment either.

The press would be ruthless and he wouldn’t be able to protect them from it. If Carol ever accepted to live somewhere else, somewhere private, where they could be away from media even in another country, they still would be searched upon, photographed whenever they needed to run some errands, people would say things and…. - He just poured himself another glass. All the thinking was giving him a headache.

He was starting to consider renouncing his title, getting a job of his own and providing for his family. That seemed the easiest route. But even though if he did it, he had already lived for so long in the public eye… it was no guarantee that they would be left alone. They could move back to Brazil, get a house near Maria and he would have to learn how was it like to go to work every day and wait for payroll… He could also not work every day and wait for payroll like a commoner and live by his inheritance... No matter what the course of action, he wanted this child more than everything in his life and he wanted his girl to be with him. He did not consider abortion and it would definitely break his heart if that was to be what Carol wanted. He didn’t think that she would do that, but that would be something that she could do if she wanted… and he had promised to be by her side no matter what she chose.

He didn’t notice time slipping by and even startled when he heard Carol’s footsteps on the stairs and her sleepy voice calling him. He looked at her, messy hair and a t-shirt of his. He smiled, drank the last sip of scotch and went to her.

“I missed you in bed. Everything alright?” she asked when he approached her and kissed her shoulder.

“Of course, darling. I just needed a drink. Let’s get back to bed. Shall we?” he whispered.

“Are you sure?” she pressed.

“I am sure, my love. I did not want to wake you up.”

“Ok then…” he carried her to his bedroom and carefully placed her on his bed. He soon was by her side, hugging and trying to give her the reassurance that he did not have at the moment. He kissed her whole face before lovingly kissing her. He loved how their bodies were eager to be in each other.

“I love you, Carolina.” he said after their kiss ended.

She felt her heart pounding in her chest when she heard that word again. She only looked him in the eyes and knew that he understood that she wasn’t ready to say those words. She also got that he wasn’t going to not say that to her. He wasn’t afraid of his feelings.

She pecked his lips and made herself comfortable on his arms, soon falling asleep again. He simply held her in his arms, taking care of her, of them, before sleepiness finally took over him.

(…)

It was a Thursday night of the next week when Carol entered Agnes’ office. She had asked for an urgent appointment, at night and preferably not letting anyone – not even the secretary – know that it was for her. Carol arrived together with Harry who was driving, parked nearby the back door and called Agnes. She opened the door and before she left the car, one of Harry’s RPO entered her office and did a fast sweep. After giving the couple the green light, Harry and Carol left the car as fast as they could and holding hands, taking the steps together for the first appointment of their baby.

The RPO stayed in the waiting room. Agnes had a feeling of what was happening but she respected their time and waited for them to start talking after the pleasantries and introductions were done.

“What can I do for you, Carol?” Agnes said, always so professional.

“Agnes… You might imagine, after all the demands that I requested – and I am sorry for this – why we’re here, right? I kindly ask you to not tell anyone about what happened here. Not Hailey, not Flavio and my mom. I still need some time to process everything.” Carol said, holding Harry’s hands as if her life depended on it.

“Carol… You are scaring me. You can trust we are under secrecy inside this room… I started to see you as a daughter. I promise not to say a word if you promise to take care of whatever it is that you need my work on.” Agnes said trying to ignore the fact that Prince Harry was inside her office together with her daughter’s stepsister.

“I’m pregnant.” Carol blurted out for the first time. She couldn’t help the uneasy feeling that she had when she said it out loud.

“Congratulations!” Agnes' suspicions were right after all. “When did you find out?”

“Last week… Saturday, to be exact. We’re… we’re dating. I don’t know if Hailey told you this... but… It’s soon and obviously unplanned...” Carol said and Harry held her hand tightly.

“You don’t need to give me any explanations, Carol. You are a very responsible adult and I trust you both will do the right thing.” Agnes said and started filling a form, changing the main information that would lead anyone to discover who the patient was.

“When was your last period?” She asked.

“I believe it was March 31st, don’t remember exactly.” Carol answered.

“We’ll then have to find out how far along you are with an ultrasound.”

“We know the date.” Harry said.

“You do?” Agnes was looking at them with an eyebrow raised.

“That was the only time we were unprotected. April 14th”

“The wedding, then?” Agnes smiled.

“Yes… Our souvenir was better and different from the other guests.” Carol joked.

“Let’s take a look at your weight and blood pressure. Ok?” Agnes asked getting up and Carol soon following.

“Everything’s looking perfect right now,” Agnes said after she took notes of Carol’s blood pressure, weight and measurements of chest and waist.

Thankfully for the new parents, there was an ultrasound machine in her office. They were dying to see if everything was ok. Carol changed clothes to a disposable hospital dress and laid on the bed while Agnes was putting on gloves. She first examined Carol’s breasts – after she found out she started to complain that they were sore all the time – saying that it was a normal thing, it would become a bit larger and darker, she then carefully examined Carol to see if everything was as it was supposed to be. It was. She was professional, gentle and caring and responding all questions Harry and Carol had.

“Based on the conception date, you must be around 7 weeks and 4 days pregnant, Carol. That means, Harry, two months.”

“This baby was quiet enough… if it weren’t from Sofia’s tip and the heartburns we might as well have found out when she was ready to pop...” The girls laughed hard at Harry’s joke.

“It’s better when moms discover not right at the beginning, I see.” Agnes said preparing the equipment. “Because we all want to hear something, that only after week six we are able to. Let’s try and see this baby of yours.”

She carefully inserted the ultrasound machine – the only way for this week of the pregnancy – and they saw a small thing on the monitor. There wasn’t much shape to it, but they knew that it was their baby.

It was so small, so defenseless. But at the same time, it meant so much. It was asking them to love him or her. It was asking them to become a family.

“Look Carol… that’s our baby.” Harry said when the screen changed, holding her hand and kissing her forehead, with a teary eye.

“Oh my God… it’s so small” Carol said between tears.

“Looks like everything’s alright here… It’s well placed inside the womb, the placenta is in the right place… let’s see if we can catch any sounds…”

TUM-TUM-TUM-TUM

That sound was the most amazing music they had ever heard in life. It was their child, showing them that everything was OK… that they could rest. Neither would ever forget how that sounded and what it meant for them at that moment.

Agnes let them hear for more minutes than an average appointment before she helped Carol to clean up and get up.

“I am going to ask you for a urine test, blood tests and to take some pills. I will give you a box that I have here… and after your blood test, if you need more vitamins, I will prescribe others, ok?” she said handing Carol a box of folic acid pills.

“Agnes, I can’t thank you enough!” Carol said after getting the prenatal pills she would need to take daily.

“You don’t have to mention it, ok? Please let me know when you intend to go to the lab to get the other tests done, I can arrange your privacy.” She said hugging Carol and then Harry and congratulating them again.

“Will do. How much do we owe you?” Harry asked getting his wallet.

“This one is on the house.” Agnes refused politely. “Please do let me know when you intend to let people know. I can’t wait to buy cute little outfits for the baby!”

“We will do. Thank you, doctor.” Harry said.

He and Carol were on cloud nine after the appointment, both holding the photos of their baby that Agnes had given them.

“See… we made a super baby.” Harry said.

“Don’t be cocky about it...” Carol replied pecking his lips.

“I am so fucking happy, Carolina.” he said and her heart warmed.

(…)

“Are you sure you have to go?” Harry asked her.

“Yes, Harry. I am.” she said finishing packing.

“Isn’t there anyone else to cover for you?” He insisted.

“No… It’s my project after all.” she rolled her eyes.

“I don’t feel comfortable with you flying so early in the pregnancy.” He stated.

“Harry… We just left the appointment, Agnes said everything is just fine. She did not oppose it. And I am already one day delayed. I have to go.”

“Promise me you will take care. Work reasonable hours, eat well and take your pills.” He said looking at her and she went to him, holding his face between her hands.

“I am fine… I feel fine and I will take care of our baby. I can’t tell my boss that I am pregnant yet and this trip to Johannesburg was scheduled months ago. I have to be there. Four days only and we will be back.” she said lovingly.

“I wish I could go with you.” He whispered.

“But you can’t.” she said firmly. “We will be fine, Harry. I promise I will take good care of us.”

“Ok… But I don’t like my family away from me.” He said and saw her tearing up. “What did I say?”

“You’re the sweetest man in this world, Henry.” she smiled. “Damn hormones.”

“Using that card already, are you?” they laughed and after a goodbye kiss – he couldn’t drive her to the airport – he carried her luggage to the car and kissed her a few times more before she left.

Carol did not want to go on this work trip, but she had to as it was scheduled beforehand. She was flying business and it made things a little less uncomfortable for her. Her bump was starting to appear if anyone knew her body well and looked very closely, and she was starting to feel some not so nice symptoms. She had to go, it was her career… the career that she fought so hard to have and build… and she hadn’t thought about what she was going to do with it after the baby was born. Would she be a working mom? Stay at home mom? Why had she fought so hard to study if she was going to put it aside? At the same time, she wanted to be a hands-on mom. It was her dream. She just didn’t know how she would do both. Or if she wanted to do both.

Her trip was like any other work trip she had taken since moving to London. Endless meetings and workshops, taking shifts to train everyone, answering questions from all sorts while keeping up with her e-mails and being aware of what was happening in the London office while she was away. Video conferences and a small chat with colleagues. She did try to slow things down a little bit but wasn’t able to, she had made her team used to her workaholic habits of doing a thousand things in a day, so they prepared her schedule based on this. She took her pills religiously and made sure that no matter where she was, she was snacking on healthy food and having proper meals – which was a first. At the end of the day, at the hotel, she only wanted to sleep and sleep and sleep some more. She was tired as if she’d ran a marathon, and wondered how much of it was pregnancy-related.

Harry was either calling or texting her all the time to know if she was alright and although she did appreciate all the concern and care, she was getting fed up. She knew how to take care of herself and her baby. He did not have to ask her a thousand times if she had drunk enough water or eaten a healthy and balanced meal. She was keeping her thoughts to herself and thanking God that this was going to be a four day only trip as if it had lasted longer, she surely would snap at him.

(…)

He was waiting for her with flowers at her apartment when she came back to London. She had been miserable for the whole flight, with nausea, her breasts too sore and she wanted to pee every 10 minutes. The last thing that she wanted was to be close to him, she just wanted to be left alone, but she did not have the heart to send him away. He probably asked someone to clean her flat, do her laundry and bought her favorite take out at an Italian restaurant near her place.

“I missed you.” was the first thing he said when she opened the door. “How are you?”

“Tired,” she answered, side hugging him. “Flowers?”

“Yes. I have also prepared a bath for you as well… and I can give you a massage later.” Harry offered, clearly noting that she wasn’t in a good mood. “You need to rest and eat and I am here to make sure of that.”

“Thank you. I really appreciate it.” she said above a whisper and left her luggage nearby the door, going straight to the bathroom, where she cried alone for being such an idiot to him. He was trying to make nice things for her and she was a total bitch to him. She took a quick bath and went to her bedroom in her bathrobes to fetch some moisturizer to apply to her body. He was sitting on her bed, waiting for her.

He noticed that she had cried, but said nothing.

“Carol, wait...” Harry said when she took off the bathrobe and was about to apply the cream.

“What now?” she asked impatiently.

“Your bump… its… bigger.” he was in awe.

She took a few steps to be able to look herself in the mirror and saw that her bump was indeed bigger. She hadn’t noticed it in Johannesburg, but now there was a small bump in her body where their baby was growing.

He got up and touched it lightly. He then kissed it and that was enough for all hormones come crashing and for her to start to sob. He didn’t pay much attention to that, because his child was already showing.

“Daddy missed you.” he whispered to her bump. “Missed you and mamãe.” [Mamãe = mommy]

Carol was crying for everything and nothing at the same time. Harry was speaking to their 8-week baby and she had worked so hard that she did not notice her bump growing and she was a horrible mother and girlfriend for that. He took the cream and applied carefully in all her body, and helped her to dress in her favorite pajamas.

“Do you want to have dinner now?” he asked after finishing.

“Yes, please.” she answered, still crying and wanting to stop, and not being able to.

“Why all the waterworks?” he asked.

“I don’t know! I want it to stop but I can’t!” she said.

“Let’s see after I feed you if that will stop...” he had set the table for them. “Don’t you think it’s best for you to share it with someone who’s been through it?”

“What do you mean?”

“Well… you’re clearly in a mood… And I don’t know what to do about that. If you talked to someone who’s been pregnant before, maybe it’d help. Why don’t you call your mom?”

“I still don’t want her to know...” she said eating.

“Then Agnes?”

“We’re not that close, I guess.”

“Sofia? She was the one who found out anyways… She will keep our secret.” Harry said, eating and taking a sip of soda.

“I will call her later.” Carol said after giving it some thought.

(….)

Harry stayed in the living room while Carol called Sofia in the bedroom. He kissed her before she left, and she had said she was sorry for the way she was treating him.

Carol tried to rehearse a way of spilling the beans, but decided against all tries. She would go without a script. She sent a message first, asking if they could video call in 10 minutes and the princess said yes.

When Carol called, she was sitting on her bed and beside her was the pictures of her baby that Agnes had printed for them.

“Hi Carol...” Sofia said cheerfully. “How was South Africa?”

“I did not have time to explore… I barely saw it, to be honest. How are you? And the little cherub?”

“I am great, thanks. Alex is sleeping over at Victoria’s today. And Carl Philip is out with some friends. All by myself tonight, thank God.” they both laughed at that. “Where’s Harry?”

“Watching soccer in the living room...” Carol answered.

“I thought you both would be glued right now...” Sofia said laughing.

“We’re not 15, you know? We can keep our hands off each other.” she laughed.

“What’s the matter, Carol?”

“What do you mean? That was a joke...”

“I know that was a joke. But I’ve come to know you and I know something is troubling your thoughts… spill it.” Sofia crossed her arms.

“Firstly I need you to promise me that you won’t tell anyone. Not even Carl Philip.”

“Pinky promise.” the brunette said.

“There’s something I need your help in taking care of...” Carol started, grabbing the photo.

“What is it? Have you guys been spotted?” Sofia was concerned about her new friend.

“Nope… Not yet.” Carol said.

“Then, what is it? Stop stalking and tell me.”

“This. We need your help to take care of this...” Carol said and then showed the pictures to the camera of her laptop.

At first Sofia didn’t see it as the camera took a while to focus. Then she saw it was an ultrasound still and saw the little baby in there.

“I KNEW IT! I KNEW IT! I’M GOING TO BE AUNT SOFIA!!!” The princess said with joy. “How far along are you? When did you find out? You better have found out after you left Sweden otherwise I will kill you for lying to my face.”

“I am 8 weeks along and yes, I found out after I left. The first stop was Boots to buy the tests.” Carol answered.

“I’m so happy for you, Carol. How are you feeling?”

“I am happy and confused and overwhelmed and tired. It’s so many feelings. Never thought someone could feel that much in so little time….” Carol took a breath. “Physically, I’m alright. Have not gained any weight, the headaches and heartburn stopped. But my breasts are larger and darker and sorer, I have a tiny bump and sometimes I feel nauseous. And sleepy and I need to pee every 10 minutes. This child measures what? A grape, perhaps and is already giving me bathroom trips imagine when it’s fully grown.”

Sofia laughed at her friend, remembering that she went through most of what she was describing herself when she was pregnant.

“The second trimester is the best one, trust me. You will feel more like yourself again.” she advised.

“And the hormones are awful… Harry did a very nice gesture to me today and I couldn’t help but be a bitch to him. That’s why he told me to call you.” Carol stated.

“So you’d bitch me instead? Nice exchange….” they laughed.

“What are you guys going to do?” Sofia asked.

“We have not talked about it yet… I want it to be a secret at least through the first 12 weeks and then we will tell our family and the courtiers and try to decide what’s the best route for us. Hopefully, the press won’t spot me until then.” Carol said.

“That’s wise.” she pointed. “Thank you for trusting me with this. I’m so thrilled for you.”

“Thank you for tipping me off, and for being there when I need the most.” Carol said, already starting to cry. “I needed to talk to someone who’s been through it, you know?”

“I do. I do know… Next time I’m in London I want a girls night and we can talk endlessly about pregnancy and dreams for our children.”

“It still feels like I’m dreaming.”

“You’re accomplishing a dream… I’d say you are dreaming.”

“Would you be a godmother to him or her?” Carol asked. “I’m not sure if you can, but, would you?”

“I am honored. And, of course, I will be godmother. And help you both find your pace and settle on whichever path you decided to follow with Harry. You are becoming a family and family is the most important thing in life. Don’t worry about anyone else. Take care of yourself and my godchild, ok?” Carol nodded. “I think Carl Philip has arrived.” they saw him opening the door behind Sofia and cheering on them.

“Oh, Hi Carol… back from Africa already?” he said sitting beside his wife.

“Yeah...” she said discreetly drying her tears. “Four days only, barely saw anything. So much work to be done, and little time to do it.”

“I thought you and Harry would be glued to each other by now...”

Carol and Sofia burst out laughing.

“We’re not 15, Carl Philip… he’s watching soccer.”

“I'll tell you… that ginger has gone soft.”

______________________

A/N: I AM SO SORRY for finishing the last chapter on such a cliffhanger and then take forever to update. I really struggled with this chapter and rewrote it several times, to be completely honest I still don’t like it but I didn’t want to let you guys waiting more for it. Hope you like it and so you know, already working on the next one. We’re getting close to part II of this history. 

[fluffy-marshmallow-heart]

TRR New Beginnings ch.21 - The Best Things in Life

Emma is home with Drake recovering. How is her healing going, and do they have more surprises in store for them?

Drake x MC (Emma)

Words: 1836

Warnings: None

Several weeks had gone by, and Emma was slowly starting to feel like herself again. Just like they had when she first arrived, her bruises were fading. Her arm was feeling better, and the cuts on her legs had turned into pink lines. Drake had been true to his word, attending to her every need.

  “Hey beautiful.” He said, as he strolled into their bedroom, coffee in hand.

She smiled as she accepted her coffee. “Not quite, but I’m getting there.”

“Is that so?” He questioned, stepping into her space. “Personally, Rose…you couldn’t not look beautiful if you tried.” He leaned down and brushed his lips against hers.

She chuckled as she pulled away “There’s my marshmallow. Honestly, Drake, you can be such a romantic. I love it.” She grinned at him and started to raise the cup of coffee to her lips. He knew just how she liked it. No sugar, but instead creamer and whipped cream topping. It was guilty little pleasure. As soon as the liquid touched her tongue, her smile was gone, and she was dropping the mug and running to the bathroom, leaving a very confused Drake behind her.

“Rose, are you okay??” He asked, dashing after her, once he heard her throwing up. He sat beside her and held her hair back with one hand and rubbed slow circles on her back with the other. “Was it the cream? Did it taste bad? It’s not expired, but maybe I should throw it out and get more.”

She moaned and reached up to flush the toilet, grabbing some toilet paper to wipe her mouth with. “No, no…I don’t know, it didn’t taste bad, it just tasted…I don’t know. Different. I’m sure it was nothing. Maybe I just need to eat first.”

Drake frowned. She’d never needed food before coffee. In fact, it was basically the opposite. “Okay…what are you in the mood for? I can whip up some eggs, sausage, pancakes…” He trailed off as she leaned over the toilet again. He grimaced. “Maybe it’s a stomach bug.”

She nodded as she finished. “Yeah, maybe. I think maybe I should take it easy today. Just the thought of food….” She made a face and stood up, moving to the sink to brush her teeth. When she was done, Drake led her back into their bedroom and tucked her in before climbing in himself.

“Mmm you don’t have to stay, Drake.” She said sleepily as she snuggled into his side.

“Like I would ever leave.” He told her with a smile.

“No, seriously, I don’t want you to get sick. You should go fishing or something.”

He chuckled and pulled her even closer to him. “I’ll take my chances.”

Several days later, Emma was still getting sick every time she smelled something. And all she could tell Drake was that everything smelled and tasted “off.”

“I’m going to go to the store, Rose. It will take me awhile, but you need something to make you feel better, and I’ll replace all the perishable food with completely fresh. I know I said I’d never leave you but…” He trailed off and searched her face for her reaction.

“Okay.” She whispered. “I’m just going to stay in bed, I think. Just lock the door and everything will be fine. I’m not afraid anymore, and if someone breaks in, I’ll vomit on them and they’ll change their mind about being here pretty quick.”

He nodded and kissed her softly on her forehead. “I’ll be back as soon as I can.”

Hours later, he returned home and as he approached the cabin, bags in hand, he had a flashback of the night he came home to find her gone. His heart beat faster and faster the closer he got to the door. Thankfully, it was still locked. He set everything down in the kitchen, fixed her a quick snack of bell peppers and dressing, grabbed the little white box he’d picked up, and ran up the stairs to the bedroom. And there she was, reading a book.

“Hey.” He said softly.

“Hey” She grinned. Her eyes lit up as she saw her snack. “Peppers!”

“You look better” He told her, sitting next to her and handing her the plate.

She nodded “I am. I think it’s out of my system.”

“Just like that? Just from a few hours ago?”

She cocked her head to the side. “I guess so? I don’t feel sick anymore. That’s a good thing.” She took a bite of the crisp pepper and closed her eyes, sighing in happiness. “God, this is good.”

He nodded, watching her. “I’m glad. I picked up a lot of fresh fruits and veggies to give you some natural energy, since you couldn’t drink your coffee. Plus, it’s good for the immune system.”

“Thank you. You’re very sweet.”

“So…Rose.” He started hesitantly. He had a feeling she wasn’t going to be happy with the next thing he brought with him.

“Yes?”

“Well…this is extremely late…like, way too late for this discussion, and I definitely mean WAY too late, Weeks and weeks and weeks, and countless times too late…but I think now is the time we should probably discuss it.”

She rose an eyebrow at him as she ate another piece of pepper.

He took a deep breath “We never talked about…well…birth control.”

Her eyes widened, and she stopped chewing, swallowing it too hard, and burst into a fit of coughing. “Birth control?” She managed to squeak out.

Drake clapped her back softly to help her stop coughing. When she finally did, he pulled back to look at her and ran his hands through her hair. “Listen to me, Rose. Listen to my question and then tell me what you want me to say.”

She looked at him and he saw her eyes watering. “Alright”

“I can either tell you the truth or I can tell you something that you hope to hear. Which would you prefer?”

“The truth isn’t what I’m hoping for?” She asked in a whisper

“I don’t know.”

She swallowed and took a breath. “Give me the cold, hard truth.”

He smiled softly at her. “It’s not cold or hard. But here is the truth. Yes, we were reckless maybe the first or second time. But after that? When we realized we were completely unprotected, and continued…is that really still recklessness? Or is that something else?”

Her brows furrowed “I don’t know what you mean.”

Drake gazed into her worried eyes. “What I mean, Rose, is that there’s a chance that your throwing up is related to…well…not sickness” He worded carefully.

“But…” she tried to cut in. He shook his head and kept going

He took her hands with his. “Rose, I have never felt more alive than I do now. And whatever happens, happens. I don’t know if you actually want to hear this, but you asked for the truth, so the truth is…if you were pregnant…that would be the second-best thing that has ever happened to me.”

She looked at him in shock. “You…want that…?”

“Of course, I do. For the whole past year, I already thought I was a Dad. I felt horrible for missing your pregnancy.” He splayed a hand over her stomach. “It would be amazing to share that with you.”

“Jesus, Drake. What the hell am I supposed to say to that?”

 “How are you feeling, really?” He asked her.

“Well with that lead in…probably not as nervous as I should.” She gazed into his eyes. “Logically, I should be feeling panicked, worried, confused, anxious. But I don’t feel any of those things. I feel…surprisingly calm.”

He leaned into her, brushing his lips against hers. He started to pull away and she reached her hand around his neck and pulled him back in, deepening the kiss. He brought his hands around her waist and the box he was still holding dug into her back. She pulled away abruptly

“What is…” She froze when she grabbed the box and looked at it. “A pregnancy test? Drake, you don’t actually think…”

“I do.” He said nervously, trying to gauge her reaction. “The timing, the nausea coming and going, things smelling and tasting different to you and only you.”

She just stared at him, so he continued “After you left, and Maxwell told me you were pregnant…I read so many things on it. Anything I could get my hands on about pregnancy and childbirth I read and studied so that when you came back I’d be prepared to step right in.”

Emma’s eyes welled up with tears, and they started to spill over. “You did that?” She asked incredulously.

“Heh. Yeah.” He ran a hand through his hair, feeling nervous again.

“God, you really are a marshmallow” She laughed wearily. “But Drake…they did bloodwork at the hospital…it didn’t show up.”

He gave a half smile. “That was weeks ago. You’re just now showing any type of symptoms…which means you’re maybe a month along? So…if you had just conceived…”

“It wouldn’t have tested positive yet.” She finished. She was looking off into space. “I missed my period” She confessed

“You did?? Why didn’t you tell me?”

She shrugged. “I figured it was stress from you, from Randy, from the accident. Stress is a killer, you know.”

“Seriously, this never crossed your mind?”

“Well, I mean yeah, but…ugh, I don’t know. Denial is a powerful thing, Drake. I didn’t want to be pregnant.”

Drake closed his eyes, slightly hurt that she didn’t tell him anything that was going on with her. He felt her hand on his leg and opened his eyes again.

“I’m sorry.” She said. “I wasn’t ready. I still don’t know if I am. The last time I was pregnant…I was alone, hating myself, hating you, hating the baby. And the worst part this time is I knew we were being careless…and I didn’t care that we were. I just wanted you inside me, all of you. That’s all I cared about.”

“Then let’s find out.” He said. “There’s no need to guess at this point. You’re holding a test in your hand and there’s two more downstairs…you know, just in case.” He finished quickly.

She nodded and headed to the bathroom. A minute later she came back out. “Takes two minutes.”

They sat in silence, Drake just holding her, before she spoke again. “What do you hope to find out?”

He looked down at her and turned her chin to face him. “I already told you, Rose. Your being pregnant would be the second-best thing that’s ever happened to me.”

Just then the timer on her phone that they had set went off. “It’s time” She breathed. She stood up and started towards the bathroom again, Drake close behind her, holding her hand. But suddenly she stopped and whirled to face him again.

“What was the first best thing then? If a child would be second, what’s first?”

He grinned at her. “The first is you, of course.”

     @blackwidow2721 @sleepwalkingelite @flowerpowell @agent-bossypants @annekebbphotography @carabeth @gardeningourmet@eileendannie @dancetothestoriesinyoursoul @alesana45 @imaketerriblechoices @zigortega4life 

 @innerpostmentality @mrsernestsinclaire @nekkidmolerat @wannabemc2 @blubutterflyy @sweetest-marbear @choicesmacmakes @andy-loves-corgis @sstee1 @furiousherringoperatortoad @traeumerinwitzhelden @speedyoperarascalparty

@notoriouscs

[taeguboi]

MOVING ON PART 2: Jungkook x Reader angst

After a few requests to continue my MOVING ON Jungkook angst, it’s finally here! It doesn’t quite explain everything you askers requested but I can promise that I will be writing beyond a part 2!

'Tonight is the night to make a fresh start’.

You repeat this phrase in your mind until it becomes convincing to you. Your reason for this repetition is partly to block out those flashbacks that keep wanting to come to you and partly because those thoughts are working; you should have exited the shower room about 5 minutes ago but instead you’ve held back to stare into a foggy mirror.

[Flashback - yours]

It was a Friday night and a night out was well overdue. University was over and everyone had mutually agreed about their fears of losing touch, so it was decided that yourself, Jungkook, Taehyung and Jimin would meet up, even if only for a few drinks.

The work day had proven long and daunting for Jungkook by the sounds of things over the phone, so you understood when he said he wasn’t really feeling up for coming out, or at least he didn’t want to come out straight away before a well deserved nap.

Yes, it was a great shame that a night out for four turned into three, but it was always relaxing to be around your friends Jimin and Taehyung; people who you certainly would never have met or interacted with from the uni if it wasn’t for your wonderful fiance Jungkook. In fact, you all became friends at an amazingly fast rate, having gone out all together for the first time just a week after your bumping in with Jungkook in your earlier days at the university.

But life was great. You were getting by just fine as part of your new little family you had began to build with Jungkook having recently bought your first pet together. It was still possible to live out the nice little luxuries of life such as drinking out and it was mostly possible to have those quiet nights in that yourself and Jungkook had always appreciated after those long period of social and study based lifestyles through your final educational years. It was great having someone to live for and do life with.

“I just wish he was here right now” you sighed, having a sip from your prosecco glass.

“You know he’s only doing all of this hard work because he loves you, don’t you y/n?” Jimin asked, seeming to feel the need to accentuate what he knew Jungkook’s motives were for not being around tonight.

“Of course!” you exclaimed, the tiniest bit offended that Jimin might be implying that you were oblivious to Jungkook’s kind and hardworking nature. “I think it just takes some getting used to sometimes, when we’re apart in the evenings” you nervously chuckled, knowing how attached you were probably seeming to be.

“Ah, seriously y/n! It ain’t the end of the world!” Taehyung joked. “Are we not enough fun for you anymore?”

“Probably not because neither of us fuck her or take her out on dates” Jimin jested in response, clearly working off from Taehyung’s energy.

“Guys!” you exclaimed. “That’s not just it!” you argued. “There’s way more to what we have than just fucking and eating… Well, it’s a good portion of it, but…”

“Yeah yeah we get it, our friend is better than us” Jimin dramatically sighed, continuing with the light nature of conversation.

“I didn’t say that… unless there’s nothing more to you than eating and fucking, huh Chim?” you joked, finally taking the conversation less seriously.

“Ah… I know he’s doing all of this for us, but… I’m just worried he’s going to let that consume him and not have any fun with it…” you sighed.

“Eh, I wouldn’t worry about it too much y/n.” Jimin tried to reassure you. “Anytime soon, you guys can be that one couple that hosts classy dinner parties for us instead, huh?”

[End of flashback]

“What was I thinking? I shouldn’t’ve come back Jimin... “ Jungkook moans, rolling his head in his hands and aggressively ruffling his hair as the two boys still stand in the cold dark rain.

“Surely something inside of you must have wanted to come back after all these years though, right?” Jimin replies, trying his best to convince Jungkook that this isn’t the worst idea in the world.

“But look, we’ve clearly got this down at the wrong time… a really fucking wrong time!... Why did I think your stupid idea was so great anyway? I… UGH!”

Jungkook just cannot help but begin to release all of his pent up anger and frustration about the recent events of the evening, but he soon calms down a little, because he knows.

He knows that this was all his fault.

“Dude, seriously, you were telling me how much you missed home, and how much you missed me and Tae… how you missed y/n…”

“I know!... I know what I said… but coming back here has made me realize.” sighs Jungkook. “This isn’t really my home anyway, is it? This is just the town I lived my student days in. It’s not my home, Busan is… I’m going back.”

“What?! No!”

“What’s the point?... And WHY did I think she’d just forgive me like that? Let alone talk to me? She was hardly gonna just come running into my arms, was she?? I’m deluded! I’ve been deluded about this whole fucking idea!”

Jimin watches Jungkook furiously and restlessly pace the town center and it just irritates the elder, so he swiftly goes over to his younger friend to stop him in his tracks, taking a firm hold of the leather collar of Jungkook’s jacket, pulling the two in face to face.

“Look man, pull yourself together and fucking fight for what you claim you want back so badly.”

You know you need to stop crying. But you just can’t help but let a tear escape every now and then even as you’re managing to calm your nerves. As if moving on from your past hasn’t been hard enough… this reminder of it just takes you loads of steps backwards in your healing from your dysfunctional relationship with Jungkook.

[Flashback]

It was a beautiful day and Jungkook had taken you to a beautiful field to compliment the mood of the day. The sun was scorching - a great excuse to wear your new favourite dress. Every flower you took a look at seemed perfect - all in bloom and not a single one dying. Life was perfect - and you had the perfect boyfriend to go with it… okay, he was the reason your life felt perfect.

Running up some, what then seemed random, hill, you felt short of breath as Jungkook made you follow him to a solitary tree he had spotted in the distance.

“Come on honey!” he shouted from a distance, quite ahead of you.

“I can’t do this!” you panted.

He raced back down the hill making you wonder where he got the energy from. It was afternoon and you knew he had already been to the gym that morning for an extended work out… how did he do it?

He took your hand to encourage you to make the journey

“Yes you can do this! Now come on!”

Jungkook practically dragged you up that hill, forcing your littler legs to catch up with him so he didn’t tear your arm off. Your chest was hurting and your legs were weak… but there was something in the idea of reaching that peak.

Before you knew it, you were at the top. You guessed you were a bit silly for complaining about this so much in your head for the past, probably only, a minute or two… and the trek was definitely worth it.

“City view” he panted. “I’ve been wanting to do this forever”

You took a seat to rest next to Jungkook’s feet and following suit, he parked himself on the grass beneath that tree also. You distinctly remember the shade of green that the leaves were. You remember how the air smelled. The buildings you could see. The time of day. Everything. You knew this was going to be a special moment; what isn’t great about looking over the city on a beautiful day with the man you love?... How could this get any better?

“Oh wait, I bought something we can sit on” he informed you, taking off his backpack and out of it came a blanket. “Stand up again” he he chuckled nervously as he unfolded the blanket and threw it to open out on the grass. “Nice… Have a seat m’lady” he jested, taking a bow before you as you sat down giggling.

“Why thank you, my good sir”

He sat down next you and sighed contentedly “Great… now I can do what I’ve been wanting to do forever.”

“It is a brilliant view Jungkookie… thank you for taking me up here. I love it” you smiled at him, taking a hold of his hand.

“I… I didn’t just come here for the city view… I mean, of course I’ve always loved the idea of looking over at the world around me with someone that means so much to me, but…”

There was a short silence but it was still enough time to leave you in suspense. Where was he going with this?

“But…?”

“Well, we’ve been dating for quite some time, right?...”

“Only dating? Only quite some time?” you laugh. “If by ‘quite some time’ you mean 3 years and by ‘dating’ you mean being absolutely dedicated to you and not even thinking about anyone else in my life after all the time and emotion we’ve shared, then… Yeah I guess we have been dating for quite some time…” you smirked at him,

“See? Quite some time, yeah?... Well… I’ve been thinking very thoroughly about this, and you’ve always made me so happy… Well, I want to spend more than just ‘quite some time’ feeling this way… say, a lifetime?”

It confused you to see Jungkook standing up again so soon as he reached into his pocket for something so you just figured that something was making him feel uncomfortable as you then saw him making his way back down… but not completely. A wave of something rushed over you as you registered that he wasn’t sitting back down… he was… on one knee??

“I’m sorry it’s not in a box or anything, but… I’m confident that you won’t need one…”

“Oh my goodness… Jungkook…” you uttered, jaw dropped as he revealed what was in his hand.

“Y/n… This… this is right. Us. Together. I want it to be that way, always… Will you me?” he grinned.

You trembled with anticipation and delight. “Yes! Yes! YES!” you exclaimed, getting back up to hug him at his level, then both standing up to embrace each other and embrace that moment.

“I promise to give you the future you deserve, y/n”.

[end of flashback]

‘Why do I keep thinking about the good times now?’

[Flashback - Jungkook’s]

It really was the happiest day of Jungkook’s life, when he took your right hand and held it in his to speak the most meaningful words he was ever going to say in his life.

“I, Jungkook Jeon, take you y/n, y/l/n to be my wife.”

The tears were welling in his eyes from the happiness.

“To have and to hold. From this day forward.”

It was even a perfect day for the weather. The sunlight shone onto your radiant face so beautifully. The smile on your face only extended the grin on his.

“For better for worse. For richer, for poorer. In sickness and in health. To love and to cherish.”

He couldn’t believe that this was finally happening; tying the knot with his perfect woman. Getting to be the perfect man for her. Everything was going so well with nary an argument and if there had been one, it was those small little things that get resolved in the same conversation as the arguing. Other than the tedious work he forced himself into, his life really was going rather well; smoothly. Almost perfectly.

“Till death us do part.”

*knock-knock-knock-knock-knock!*

Jungkook bangs persistently on the door he’s arrived to, shaking with nerves, frustration, his entire energy.

No answer.

*knock-knock-knock-knock-knock!*

Taehyung peeps from behind his living room curtain to see who would be knocking at this time of night… and why so loudly?

“Oh fucking hell”

*knock-knock-knock-knock-knock!*

“I know you’re in there!” shouts Jungkook.

Taehyung runs to the door to answer in order to avoid any more disturbance for the neighbours.

“What the fuck are you doing here Kook?” Taehyung asks with gritted teeth.

“Wow, we haven’t seen each other in 2 years and that’s how you’re gonna greet me?” huffs the estranged man.

“Not quite sure why you’d be expecting a greeting from me after…”

“After what? Taking y/n away from me?... I…”

All you can hear after that is a pause from Jungkook and you’re shaking in the shower room. It didn’t even cross your mind that Jungkook might have tried to follow you or interrogate the guy that Jimin was trying to prevent you having a closer relationship with.

‘Take y/n away from me?’ you scoff internally. ‘Is he deluded? All Tae ever did for me was help me through a rough time… I can’t help it if...’

You hear a thud and it can’t be anything other than that restless pig losing his temper - you guess some people really don’t change. And that’s all it takes for you to think back to another negative time involving Jungkook

[Flashback]

There was that one night in which everything escalated so quickly that it is hard to forget. You and your husband plus Jimin and Taehyung were at your house for a jolly night in of drinking and chatting. The topic that had arisen was of the friendship the three boys sat with you had.

Somewhat tipsy, Jungkook was just telling you how lovely his friends are, clearly having forgotten that they had been your friends too for the best of 5 years.

“These guys here are my bros! The bond we have is sacred… We trust each other. We help each other with problems. We keep secrets.”

“Oh yeah, like the one where you made me promise not to tell y/n about that night when I walked in on you and that chick…”

You shouted your husband’s name in horror as you watched him pin your friend up against the wall by his throat, sort of forgetting for now what had come out of Taehyung’s mouth - you’d see to that issue later.

“Jungkook! What the fuck are you doing?!”

“I am SICK of this fucking bullshit!” he shouted into Taehyung’s face.

“Jungkook what the heck dude?!” Jimin questioned also.

“I KNOW what I saw!” Taehyung drunkenly slurred into Jungkook’s angry face.

“What you saw? Taehyung! What did you see??” you begged of him.

Silence.

Jungkook’s frustration had intensified. You were pretty sure your friend could see that as he took a deep breath in and sighed.

“It’s… nothing” he said. “It was just a misunderstanding, and dude, you know I knew it was, seriously…”

The grip around Taehyung’s collar loosened as Jungkook put him down… you felt so shaky as you looked at Jimin with uncertainty. He could see your bottom lip quiver and the water to your eyes. He watched your every move as you began to collapse onto the sofa then having your head into your knees trying not to have a breakdown there and then.

“Y/n…?” asked Jimin with huge concern. “Are you…”

“Right, that’s it, guys, go home” insisted Jungkook.

“But we..”

“I SAID GET OUT!” yelled your husband, his tone not calming you down one bit. But it was enough to get Jimin and Taehyung to leave your house.

“Y/n, what Taehyung just said… was a big stupid misunderstanding! It was one night when we were clubbing together and some lass had taken a nasty fall and I seemed to be the most sober person around to…”

“To what? Jungkook, I don’t know what to think right now, but you had BETTER truthfully end that sentence with ‘help her’!”

“Exactly! To help her! She had a nasty cut on the knee and the moment Taehyung had walked in was the moment I was rubbing a plaster over her knee… Y/n, I SWEAR that nothing happened!”

And you believed him.

[End flashback]

‘I tried so hard with you Kook.’

*******

Part 03

[seriouslyhooked]

Lost Souls and Reveries (Part 2)

18 part AU written for @cssns​. Part 1 Here. Story available on AO3 Here and FF Here. Banner created by the amazingly talented @shipsxahoy​!!

Killian Jones is a wolf shifter without roots, without plans, and without a pack. He’s a rogue, someone humans should avoid and shifters should be wary of given his lineage. But one night years back set him on a path he didn’t realize he was taking, a path leading to a future he is destined for. That future is tied up in one woman – a human named Emma Nolan. Together Emma and Killian will find not only answers, but a love that’s truly fated. But will love be enough to set them free, or will past demons win out in the end? (Answer: love always wins – I am writing this so despite some tiny pockets of angst it’s basically a fluff-filled insta-love fest). Rated M.

A/N: Hey all! So first, thanks to all of you who have shown this fic love and who are joining me on this new adventure. This chapter we will pick up from Emma’s POV and we’ll establish more of Emma’s story along with more of what the CS relationship might look like in this kind of AU. Fair warning that the heavier themes that we saw in Killian’s past have similarly sad shades in Emma’s. As with the last chapter though, I am trying to shy away from anything like graphic sadness. If you’re worried about it (and keep in mind all angst is in the flashback) feel free to message me. Also know that it’s all in the past and that this fic WILL be a certified fluff fest. Anyway hope you enjoy and thanks for reading!

How can something so dark be so beautiful? It was the first thing Emma thought when she looked at the man she knew had to be from out of town standing there on Main Street.

He was hardly dressed for the June weather or the Storybrooke style of living. Dark jeans, a dark shirt, and a black leather jacket gave him an edge that only accentuated the midnight color of his hair and the stubble of the beard he had along his handsome face. The clothes were well fitted and Emma couldn’t help but take him all in, noticing the hard lines of muscle that spoke to a physique she desperately wanted to get her hands on. The attraction that she felt was too fast, too potent, and then she caught the intensity of his blue gaze and Emma lost her breath. A purer color she had never seen, not even on the brightest of summer days in the ocean she’d grown up on. It was intriguing and perplexing, and in the light of this fading day Emma wondered if there were actually gold flecks among the blue or if she just imagined them. Either way his eyes were only one part of a perfectly potent package.

Holy crap! This guy was… lethal, deadly, and totally and without question consuming her. The few seconds they’d been looking at each other felt simultaneously all too fleeting and like a small eternity in themselves. Emma couldn’t tell if she wanted to bolt under the intensity of his stare or if she wanted to run towards him. It was the strangest sensation, but it was no stranger than the thought that rang out in her mind at first sight: Mine!

“Emma, honey, you doing alright?”

The question from her mother pulled Emma back to the reality of the morning she was actually living in, and it mirrored the moment last night when her mother appeared and broke the trance between Emma and the enigmatic new arrival to Storybrooke. This time though, Emma wasn’t spacing out in public. She was in her childhood home enjoying a weekly breakfast with her parents. She felt herself begin to flush with embarrassment, wishing she hadn’t just been fantasizing about some hot guy in front of her Mom and Dad. She really needed to get herself together, impossibly handsome man or not.

“Yeah, sorry. I’m just tired.”

“Sounds like someone needs more coffee,” her father said with his usual chipper tone. He got up to refill Emma’s mug and her Mom put more pancakes on her plate, which made Emma smile. This was so like her parents, to be totally in sync with each other and to have one guiding motivation of making their kids happy.

Emma had been on the receiving end of even more of their love and attention than usual lately because she wasn’t splitting the time with her younger bother Neal. Instead, her brother was off enjoying his summer in Boston with some of the world’s smartest teenagers at a camp designed for young geniuses. It was an honor, but not surprising that her little brother would get to go on such an adventure, because Neal had always been the smartest kid she’d ever known. All the same, Emma realized it was difficult for her parents to let him go away for such a long stretch of time even if he was thirteen. But after years of his early childhood when he’d had no choice but to stay cooped up inside and sheltered from other kids, they couldn’t deny him the chance to branch out. It was time for her brother to spread his wings a bit, if not leave the nest fully.

“Are you sure you’re getting enough sleep, Emma?” Her mother asked. Emma quirked a brow up in question and her mother qualified the statement immediately. “I just ask because I know there’s a lot on your plate. Your Dad’s told me how wonderful you’ve been and how much work you’re taking on at the clinic. I want to make sure you aren’t pushing yourself too much.”

“I’m fine, Mom,” Emma assured her, thinking that if anything the closeness to animals and the feeling that she was doing good works always boosted her morale. “It was just one restless night. It’s nothing to worry about.”

Any other parent would have been appeased by this kind of admission, but Emma’s mother remained tense even in the face of Emma’s promise. Mary Margaret Nolan’s blue eyes took in Emma as if studying for signs of an underlying struggle. Emma felt on the spot, but she willed herself to portray a sense of calm even if she didn’t fully feel it. Without her mother even having to ask, Emma knew the fear that both of her parents developed when Emma’s sleep was troubled. They were worried that the dreams were back, or rather one dream that had plagued Emma on and off for years.

“Why don’t I just give Doctor Hopper a call?” Her Mom asked, moving towards the phone. “You know he’s always so good at helping you. I’m sure he has time this week. Let me just -,”

“Mom!” Emma said, in a louder sterner voice that still tried to be courteous even in its forcefulness. Her mother looked at her again and Emma stood up and took her hand, trying to really make her see that she was making too big a deal of this. “I promise you I’m okay, and if I thought I had to go back to Archie you’d be the first one I told. It’s fine – trust me.”

Finally her Mom exhaled a breath and Emma knew the worst was over. The sudden bought of worrying had now mostly passed, and things could return to normal again. The three of them sat back at the table together, and though there was a kind of quiet that settled all around them, it wasn’t thick and tense in an uncomfortable way. Thank goodness for that. For now Emma had gotten away with her little white lie, but to ensure they didn’t go down that road again she needed a distraction. She jumped on the first one she could think of that had the highest chance of success.

“So have you heard anything from Neal?” Emma asked, switching over to something she knew they’d love to fill her in on. “How’s he liking MIT?”

“Oh he loves it,” her mother replied excitedly. “You should have heard him when he called yesterday. He was so excited about this flying contraption thingy. Goodness, he said the name about a dozen times, but I just can’t remember - what was it again David?”

“Drone Day,” Emma’s Dad filled in with a smile. “They had to design and build their own drone and whoever’s could complete the most tasks won.”

“Let me guess, his was the best?” Emma asked, already knowing the answer.

“Mhmm,” her mother hummed proudly.

Emma felt a similar surge of pride for her little brother, knowing Neal was a remarkable kid with an amazingly attuned brain. He was truly brilliant, but he was also kind as well. Neal wasn’t awkward or secluded from the rest of the world despite his talents; he was just a regular teenage boy with a unique ability to remember all kinds of things and answer problems faster than anyone she knew. He’d actually been told a number of times that he could test out of his grade early and head to college in just a couple more years if he so chose, but he didn’t want that. Despite his gifts, Neal had always wanted to be normal, and after everything her parents were more than willing to give him that.

“When are you guys going down there again?” Emma asked, knowing that since they dropped Neal off last week her parents had been counting down the hours until another family visiting day would come.

As expected, her parents prattled on about the mid-summer check in that would arrive in a few weeks, and her mother mentioned that there might be some need for her to go down to Boston in the meantime. If that happened, she might get the chance to see Neal then.

Emma bit back a laugh at the thought, knowing there was no real reason to get down to the city in the coming week, but she took comfort in the overwhelming love her parents had for her brother. Neal had always been there little miracle baby, born after ten years of trying to give Emma a sibling when all hope was relatively gone. When he’d gotten sick it had nearly killed her parents, but hope, and belief that things had to get better, along with some kick ass advancements in medicine, had cured Neal of the disease that threatened to take him far too soon. Having gone through all that with him, it was understandable that Emma’s parents would be so protective and fierce in their love for their youngest child, and Emma had learned a long time ago that it didn’t mean they loved Neal any more than her. There was more than enough love to go around in the Nolan family, of that she was totally sure.

“We’re thinking of having a big end of the summer cook out,” her mother said at one point, drawing Emma’s attention. There was no exaggeration in her mother’s world. If she said big, she meant big, like the whole town of Storybrooke big.

“Oh really?” Emma asked, already picturing it in her mind and knowing her Mom would find some way to top the dozens of other parties she’d thrown through the years. How she’d do that, Emma didn’t know, but the last summer party they’d had there were bouncy castles for the kids, elaborate lantern lights spanning the woods in the back of the house, flowers covering every corner of the grounds, and water fixtures just for show. Her mother had actually had a hedge maze put into the backyard. To be blunt, it was completely over the top.

“We figured it would be good to welcome Neal back home again and to celebrate your working with Dad. You know you never let us throw the graduation party I was planning last year.” Emma laughed at her mother’s slight pout. It was a well known fact to everyone in town that Mayor Mary Margaret Nolan hated to be denied a celebration.

“That’s because you started talking about hiring entertainers and acrobatic performers. I went to vet school, Mom. I didn’t join the circus. It was a lot.”

“It wasn’t -,” her mother began to say, but Emma watched as her Dad wrapped his arm around her mother’s waist and heard him murmur words of correction. This led her Mom to sigh and admit the truth. “Okay, maybe it was a little much, but I was just so proud of you. We’re both so proud.”

“I know, and I love you guys for that,” Emma admitted freely, standing up and giving them both a hug. “So if you want to throw the party that’s fine – just promise me you’ll try to keep it low key.”

Her mother replied that she would try her best at the same time that her father said ‘not happening,’ and the three of them shared a laugh together. But at that moment Emma realized her time with her parents was also running short. She had plans to meet up with her best friends Elsa and Anna today and if she left now she’d be there just in time to not get a scolding about being late. Emma made her goodbyes to her parents and headed for the front door, smiling to herself about the time she’d just had and how lucky she was to have her family.

By the time she was outside Emma was totally at peace, loving the warmth of the sun on her skin and the beautiful day that had settled into town, but just as she was about to head down the front path of her parents’ house and out into the world again, something caught her eye on the ground. Whatever the object was it was metallic, reflecting light where nothing should be at the edge of the emerald green lawn. Emma didn’t know what it was at first, but when she pulled it from it’s hiding place, half buried in the dirt, she was dumbfounded. It couldn’t actually be… could it?

Wiping the brown topsoil off of the pendant that hung on a simple white gold chain, Emma felt her fingers trace a design she’d studied for years. It was an unusual style of carving, but after close inspection it was clear this was supposed to represent a compass. North, South, East, and West were all represented, but the etchings in the middle were swirls that seemed almost ancient in their design. Emma had never seen anything else like them before, but she found this on that night – the night that could have very well been her last– the night that plagued her dreams for years. Seeing the amulet now, she felt the memories sink into her consciousness, as if she couldn’t control her own mind now that they were here again.

Sitting with Neal as he lay sleeping in the hospital bed, Emma tried to ignore how pale he looked and how weak he appeared. Her brother had always been a small boy, but now he was identifiably sick and it tore Emma up inside to see him this way.

Despite everything she felt though, Emma never ever let her brother know her pain. It was so hard, but every moment she spent with Neal she stood as strong as she could. Emma was seventeen and Neal was only seven, and where a few months ago she had thought he was often annoying and always under foot, now she realized what a gift it was to have him. Her little brother was the best kind of person, and she couldn’t even imagine him not getting to grow and to thrive and to put his stamp on the world. She had to believe he would get better. She just had to.

“Doctor, there has to be something else we can do.”

Emma heard her mother’s voice from where she stood in the hallway with her father and the doctor, and the frailty in her Mom’s tone cut Emma to the core. Here was a woman who always had hope, but right now her mother sounded like she had nothing to cling to anymore. She was starting to lose her faith, but she couldn’t do that. They couldn’t give up on Neal, not when he needed them more than ever.

“I know it seems bad, Mrs. Nolan -,”

“Mary Margaret,” her mother corrected, and Emma almost smiled, knowing that her mother was always trying to remind the staff at the hospital of their first names. She believed that by building a bond it would improve Neal’s chances of getting better, and Emma knew all of them would give anything and do anything to help her brother now.

“I know it seems bad Mary Margaret, but this is just the first step of the treatment. When you came to me I told you that the cocktail he needs of medicines are hard on any body.”

“You did,” Emma’s father agreed. “But we didn’t realize… he’s just so…”

“Weak. I know. This round of treatment is grueling and harder than anything he’s ever had to fight before. It’s a tougher combination than nearly anyone in this hospital will ever have to take, but it’s the only way we know how to maybe kill the disease. If he makes it through to stage two -,”

“When he makes it,” Emma said out loud, knowing she wouldn’t wake Neal who was still sleeping soundly.

Rising from her spot where she’d been perched beside her brother, Emma walked into the light of the hallway to see them. Her parents looked forlorn in the moment, and Emma could see the trail of tears that stained her mother’s cheeks and the welling up of unshed one’s in her father’s eyes. They were both at their breaking point, filled with despair and with guilt. The genetic nature of Neal’s disorder made them feel like it was their fault but it wasn’t. They weren’t seeing clearly because they were feeling too much. Emma, however, would not yield to the sadness yet. She had to believe that this would work, and if everyone else was too scared to be strong, then she would be strong for them.

“Neal’s going to make it,” Emma stated with conviction. “He’s stronger than you all think.”

“Emma, honey -,”

“Don’t!” Emma said forcefully, holding her hand up. “I don’t want to hear anything from any of you if it’s not agreeing that he will get better. He told me himself today that the pain wasn’t so bad. He just needs a few days rest and you’ll see. He’s going to be okay. He has to be okay.”

Before anyone could contradict her, Emma turned around and headed down the long hallway, running when it was strictly forbidden in the hospital. She knew she wouldn’t stay gone for long, but the harsh glare of the hospital lights and the dizzying, claustrophobic feeling that facing all of this caused in her needed some kind of relief. Emma had to get some air and some space, if just for a little while, and she moved down the stairwell and out into the side alley of the hospital. She had found herself out here a time or two before, usually during the day, and she was glad that tonight there was no one else around. She needed to be alone. It was the only way she could let the tears that had been building fall.

But in the instant that her eyes began to really blur with her emotion, something moved in her peripheral vision, causing Emma’s senses to go on alert. That was strange – since she’d just checked both directions and there was nothing there, but Emma had found in the months since they moved here from Storybrooke that wildlife wasn’t unheard of. There were raccoons in the city, and the occasional possum too. Emma assumed whatever it was would be something like that at worst, or maybe just a rat – which while gross was nowhere near threatening – but when she wiped her eyes and looked at the figure that stood in the shadows of the dumpster across the way, it made her blood run cold.

The shape of the beast before her was obviously canine, but it was way too big to be any kind of dog that she knew. The one’s her Dad had worked with all her life looked nothing like this massive, hairy, beast. Emma swallowed harshly just at the imposing size of this animal, trying to convince herself it was just some lost freakishly large golden retriever that meant her no harm, but then its eyes flashed red and Emma knew this was a real predator, and not some passing, unthreatening being.

Okay, Emma, don’t panic, she said to herself as she crept back to the door. Nice and easy, don’t freak out. Don’t freak out.

After a few seconds, she was back within arm’s length of the door and as she reached out for the handle Emma felt the tiniest surge of relief. There was enough space between her and whatever this animal was for her to get inside before it got to her, but then she went to turn the door and it was locked. Shit! Shit, shit shit! Emma’s eyes went to look for another place to run, but the beast was blocking the entrance to the street and it chose that moment to step further into the light.

It’s a wolf, Emma thought to herself, but it was hardly a coherent thought. The musing was just the product of a brain rocked by fear trying to make sense of the impossible.

How could there possibly be a wolf in the city? And since when had wolves gotten to be so large and so menacing? With the adrenaline spiking in her system, Emma’s vision began to haze around the edges. Her breathing became shallow, her palms sweaty as the emotion coursed within her. She heard a shrieking cry, only to realize it had come from her as the animal moved forward. It was a last ditch attempt instinctively to save herself, for there was nothing here in the alleyway to try and fend off a demon wolf.

The next few moments were packed with a flooding sense of fear, but just as Emma thought her final seconds on earth had arrived, another wolf jumped into the fray of things. It was crazy to see, watching the lighter wolf that was hunting her be tackled by one that was a shade of midnight black. It didn’t make any sense, and the strangeness of it kept Emma spellbound. She watched in a sick kind of fascination, but her instincts never told her to run, not after the new wolf arrived. For some reason she felt safer, as if two huge animals was somehow better than just one, and then the tussle was over and Emma discovered the black wolf had won out in the end. He looked to be similar in size, if not a bit bigger than her attacker had been, but Emma noticed the difference in the eyes of this animal. Instead of red irises, his were gold – at least Emma assumed it was a he. It just kind of felt that way as she stared at the mammoth creature that had saved her life.

“You saved me,” she said aloud, and then in the weirdest twist (likely brought on because she was fully crazed from what had just happened) she longed to reach out to this wolf. She felt the need to thank him, to be closer to him, but before she could get the chance the wolf sprang away, heading back down the alleyway and into the night...

The laughter of some of the neighborhood children pulled Emma back from the remembrance of that evening. She took a steadying breath, trying to remind herself that it had all just been a dream as she tucked the medallion in the pocket of her dress.

After years of working with her therapist, Doctor Hopper, Emma realized that whole incident had likely just been a mental break. The stress of her brother’s illness had pushed her mind to see impossible things, and in the light of the next day Emma found there was nothing in the alleyway to corroborate the story. It could not have been real in the end, and she’d resigned herself to the fact that though she’d never had a moment vividly captured in her mind, it couldn’t be the truth. This compass was the only thing that seemed to not belong in the light of day, and Emma had taken it with her only to lose it again years later when she was going off to college.

Finding it now felt like some kind of sign, a sign Emma didn’t know exactly how to read. She tried to piece it together as she moved through town to get to her date with Anna and Elsa, but it was all for nothing. There was no real way to know what anything meant, and for all she knew it was just a coincidence. The world was filled with them, after all, so reading too much into this would likely do her no good.

“Emma, you made it!” Elsa said by way of greeting as Emma walked through the door of the town’s tiny café.

It was a relief to Emma to see her oldest and dearest friend after a few days apart. Elsa was always so bubbly and kind, and the two of them, along with Elsa’s sister Anna, had been through everything together. Their mothers had been pregnant with them at the same time, and it was a long standing joke that Emma was just as much a sister as Elsa and Anna were. When Neal was sick Elsa and Anna were her rock and safe place. Elsa had even taken the bus a few times from Storybrooke to Boston during that terribly unsure time to see Emma and make sure she and Neal were okay. Then when tragedy struck and Elsa and Anna lost their parents in a car wreck just a year later, Emma tried to return the favor. She was diligent in making sure she was there for Elsa and for Anna, but even though she loved them to pieces, she wouldn’t call herself a particularly affectionate friend. As such it was a surprise to Elsa when Emma gave her a huge hug, trying to wash away the last of the emotions that the remembrances had caused.

“Okay, Emma, what’s going on with you?” Elsa asked, sounding almost like a mother instead of a best friend.

“Nothing,” Emma said. “What, can’t I give my best friend a hug?”

“Of course you can,” Elsa responded with a softer look. “But I know you and I know when there’s something up, and something is definitely up.”

“I bet I know what it is,” Anna proclaimed gleefully as she appeared as if out of thin air, giving Emma a hug of her own before leading them all to their seats and diving right into the conversation. “You heard about the new guy, didn’t you, Els?”

“The new guy?” Elsa asked as Emma blushed, thinking back to the stranger she’d encountered last night and not having the power to shut off the way her heart skipped a beat at the mere mention of his existence. She should have known that somehow Anna would be aware of him. If there was even a whiff of gossip in this town, Anna was undoubtedly in the know.

“His name is Killian Jones if my intel is correct, and you know it always is,” Anna filled in with the same sass and silliness that she always had in spades as she flipped one of her braids over her shoulder and continued on. “He’s renting Mrs. Hubbard’s cottage down on the beach for the summer, he drives a red pick up truck, and he has a bit of an accent but other than that there’s not much to know yet. Tiana said he just came into town to pick up his keys at her office and then immediately left. I asked around the diner and it turns out he hasn’t been seen since.”

“Well to be fair he only got here last night,” Emma replied as she digested the news.

Despite doing her best to seem unaffected, Emma was ravenous for more information about the town’s newest arrival. This was already more than she’d known previously, and truth be told even knowing his name felt powerful. Killian Jones – that wasn’t a name that you heard every day. It was strong, and admittedly sexy, and when Emma compounded that with the fact that Anna said he had an accent she was intrigued. There was no telling where the man was from just by appearances. All Emma knew was that he wasn’t from anywhere near here.

After a beat of silence fell between Emma and her friends, Emma realized she’d just stepped into a trap. Elsa, for her part, looked shocked at Emma’s added bit of news, but Anna only grinned as she took Emma’s opening to get more information.

“And just how did you know he arrived last night, Emma Nolan?” Ugh, she was so busted. Oh well, better to just tell Anna what she knew instead of trying to draw it out.

“I may have seen him for a second on my way to dinner with Mom,” Emma answered, hoping beyond hope her tone of voice wouldn’t give her actual feelings about seeing him away. Unfortunately with her best friends, escaping notice was impossible.

“Oh my God and you didn’t even call me?!” Anna practically yelled as Elsa asked, “Really? What was he like?”

“There isn’t really much to say,” Emma assured Anna, “I only saw him for a moment. We didn’t even talk or anything.”

“But he made an impact,” Elsa said resolutely, in that almost prophetically accurate way she tended to have.

“I guess,” Emma hedged, even though she knew for sure that he had.

“So you saw him. There must be something else you noticed. Spill it,” Anna begged, looking like a kid awaiting presents on Christmas morning.

“He’s different,” Emma said immediately, and before she could think the better of it she gave a better sketch of him. “I’ve never seen anyone like him before. He stood out, but in a good way. He kind of looked like he should have ridden into town on a motorcycle with the shades and the leather jacket -,”

“Oh Tiana told me about that,” Anna replied gleefully. “She said it was hot, hot, hot. Like James Dean in his prime only better.”

Emma didn’t understand the flare of something like jealousy at Tiana’s characterization. After all she wasn’t wrong. The man – Killian, Emma corrected herself mentally –was more than attractive. His aura had pulled her in more than any other man ever had, but Emma didn’t love the idea of other women noticing him. It was weirdly territorial and very unlike her, but Emma couldn’t deny the feelings as much as she might like to.

“He seemed kind of… intense,” Emma admitted, remembering the way it felt to be caught in his gaze and the way the look he gave her felt like a physical caress against her skin. “But I could just be reading into it. I don’t actually know him.”

“You will,” Elsa asserted suddenly, taking both Emma and Anna by surprise. The certainty in her friend’s voice caused Emma to shiver slightly, for in all the years of their being friends Emma had never known an Elsa prediction or insight to be wrong. Still it was strange. How could Elsa be so certain when she herself had never even seen Killian before? As if she could read Emma’s questioning thoughts Elsa qualified. “I just have a feeling about it.”

“Ohh an Elsa feeling!” Anna clapped happily, bringing attention to them from the other people in the café. “This just keeps getting better and better!”

From there Elsa and Anna began bantering back and forth over their tea and scones about what the future might hold for Emma and ‘her mysterious match.’ They went on and on, mostly teasing as they built out a whole trajectory for Emma and Killian’s relationship, but eventually Emma pleaded with them to have mercy. Much as she wanted to laugh along with the over the top theatrics and not think too much of this, it was harder than expected. What was meant as teasing somehow felt more powerful today, and Emma was sitting there yearning for all of these milestones to be real even though she didn’t know the man in question. The only way to shut it down was to do what she’d done with her parents earlier – and thankfully she succeeded, switching their conversations from chit chat of her would-be love life to other talks of the town and updates from Elsa and Anna.

Soon enough the afternoon get together with her friends drew to a close. Even though it was a Saturday, Emma still had errands to run and people to see. Right now there was a book on hold for her and her Dad at the library, and though Emma knew her friend Belle would be there a bit past closing time, she didn’t want to take advantage of the town librarian’s devotion to her job. Instead Emma took her leave from her friends and she hustled out the door and towards the library. The brisk pace she set herself was the perfect kind of distraction from her own wayward thoughts, but just when she believed herself to be in the clear, she turned the corner and walked right into a hard body.

The impact of the collision was harsh, with her hands hitting a hard chest first and her whole body following thereafter, but before Emma could stumble, two firm, warm hands reached out to steady her. The zing of awareness Emma felt at the contact should have been warning enough that this wasn’t an ordinary person she’d just met with, but she couldn’t believe that it could possibly be her newest neighbor until her eyes moved up her assailant’s body and her eyes clashed with the same stormy blue ones she’d seen yesterday.

Dear Lord, this man was handsome. Emma had known that after seeing him yesterday, but standing this close did nothing to dull the fierceness of her want for him. If anything she was more enchanted than before, having the benefit of his hands on her and the most alluring scent that seemed to cling to him wafting over her. His whole energy was this fascinating thing, sending little bits of shock coursing through her system. Her heart beat out in a frantic rhythm, but weirdly she felt more settled than she had all day, as if her body was taking comfort in all this awareness that she’d never experienced before.

“Are you all right, love?” 

His words melted into her as she luxuriated in the gravely tone and that subtle lilt Anna had mentioned. It was intoxicating to be so close to him, and Emma was so wrapped up in it, she hardly knew how to form words to respond. In fact she forgot to do so until he repeated the question.

“Yeah sorry,” she said, wetting her lips and pulling his eyes to her mouth in the process. “I wasn’t looking where I was going.”

“Do you make a habit of such accidents?” Killian asked, his blue eyes shining with a playfulness that threw her for a loop. Was he flirting with her right now? Emma found herself wishing that he was even as she stepped back out of his hold. It wasn’t polite to stand there cuddled in his embrace, but already she missed the feeling of his skin on hers.

“No. I mean not really. Not more than other people anyway. I mean sometimes there are hiccups at the clinic when the animals get checked in and… you know what, I’m babbling. I’ll shut up now.”

“Don’t stop on my account,” he replied, sounding genuinely interested in hearing whatever inane word vomit had been close to getting out seconds before.

“You’re Killian, right?” Emma asked, unable to help herself even though she was making it abundantly clear that she’d been talking about him.

“News travels fast in small towns,” he said, as if he knew first hand the dynamic of small villages like Storybrooke.

“You could say that. I’m Emma by the way.”

“I know,” he replied honestly, surprising her completely. 

She must have shown the shock on her face because his smile grew wider in return, sending her heart fluttering again like she was some silly schoolgirl. It was on the tip of her tongue to ask how he’d already picked up that little piece of info, but just as she was about to Killian shook his head and muttered something like ‘damn interruptions.’ She was perplexed for half a second before the library door swung open and Belle appeared.

“There you are! I was starting to wonder if you’d be getting here today,” Belle’s eyes shone with delight at Emma’s visit, but when she spotted Killian they went wide and Emma could see her regret. “Oh, sorry! I didn’t mean to interrupt.”

“Belle this is Killian, Killian this is Belle. Belle’s the town librarian and Killian is…”

“Whatever you want me to be, love,” he replied, looking only at Emma and lacing his words with a delicious insinuation that she felt down to her core. It was without a doubt the sexiest thing a man had ever said to her and Emma was speechless in the face of it. After a few moments of fantasizing about what exactly she wanted from him, Emma tore her gaze from his. She felt the flush hit her cheeks as she looked at Belle who was a bit more composed but also totally amazed at the interaction. “Now, if you ladies will excuse me, I’ll leave you to it and be on my way. It was good meeting you, Belle.”

“You too,” Belle replied.

And me? Emma thought to herself, but the look on Killian’s face told her that she might have just blurted that mortifying question out loud.

“There are no words, Emma,” he assured her as he took her hand in his and brought it to his lips. It was a totally unexpected move. Both torturously tame and incredibly hot. “I’ll see you soon, love.”

With those final words he walked away, looking far too good for Emma’s sanity and making her wish there hadn’t been an interruption. She could only imagine where that would have gone if they’d had more time together. She had a hundred different questions and this indescribable need to just be close to him, but alas, now was not the time. She had things that needed doing, and by the look of the face on Belle’s expression she had a bit of explaining to do too. Before she did though, she wanted to be sure of something.

“That just happened, right? I didn’t dream that up?”

“Oh honey, that definitely just happened, and by the looks of it, it’ll probably happen again too.”

One can only hope.

Post-Note: When I was first asked to do CSSNS a few months back, my immediate thought was that this had to be a shifter story because every one I have ever read has the love at first sight, true-love element that I just LOVE writing for CS. Because it’s Once though, I also had to have the interruptive elements. That show was constantly making these two wait, and while I’ve done that (and will do it a few more times in this story), rest assured that there will be a big, beautiful pay off. Anyway I hope that you guys enjoyed seeing Emma’s POV and getting some of her back story. Let me know what you think and as always I hope you have a great rest of your day!

Tag list (if you’d like to be added just let me know): @jennjenn615 @winterbaby89 @kmomof4 @teamhook @coliferoncer @ultraluckycatnd @resident-of-storybrooke @snarkycaptainswan4 @nikkiemms @artistic-writer @allofdafandoms-blog @eastside-divebar @snowbellewells

[mimiplaysgames]

A Rush of Blood to the Head (2/6)

Pairing: Terra/Aqua Rating: T Word Count: 4,951

Summary: Aqua was told it was a fair trade - her life for his. And it was, but now Terra has to pick up after the consequences.

AO3       FF.net

A/N: It’s such a weird feeling to end a WIP. This is the third one I’ve opened, and the first one I’ve closed. I usually daydream about them until I put them into words. The outline had been collecting dust for a couple of months. After I’ve dusted it off, I decided not to change anything. Needless to say, I’ve been very excited to finally share this. I almost consider this as an AU to my other AU, with all the same headcanons and backstories for them that I’ve written out.

The reunion was done to Michael Giacchino’s “Locke’d Out Again” from Lost Season One. The Wayfinder scene was done to Michael Giacchino’s “Departing Sun” from Lost Season One. The second flashback to the end was done to Gustavo Santaolalla’s “Home” from The Last of Us.

One Gain

The only thing that would have made this night better would be moving closer to her. But asking for her permission to do so was a risk Terra never took.

The rain continued to patter heavily on the windows, and every once in a while lightning struck again. The lamp next to Aqua had been lit, and they rested the heavy leather book in between the both of them, a blanket draped over their laps. The rest of the lounge, a mixture of furniture, long desks, shelves of books and a wardrobe, was completely draped in shadows. She was close enough that her leg rested against his.

For now, he was grateful to relish her proximity. He also felt safest when he made it difficult for her to determine his feelings for her, fearful of how she would react if she ever found out.

“Ghosts will stay behind for any number of reasons. They may need to take care of unfinished business, or they could be in denial over their deaths,” Terra said, summarizing most of the chapter he had been reading.

Aqua rested her elbow on the backrest of the loveseat they were sharing, her head on her palm. She yawned. “That doesn’t sound so bad. When does it get dangerous?” she asked, rubbing her eyes.

“They can haunt people if they are angry or resentful.” He wondered if there would ever be a point in his future career as a Keyblade Master that he would encounter one. “They can even get aggressive if they are enraged, or vengeful, or even possessive.”

She scoffed. “And the writer of this book came across enough of them to know this?”

His lips curled ever so slightly upward. “Did you know there is a world out there where there are undead pirates? It’s true. There was an earlier chapter about them.”

She rolled her eyes. “That’s not the same thing as a ghost. How do you actually know you came across one?”

He pointed to some lines in the book and read aloud: “A ghost, upon contact, will carry burdens and confounded memories of the life left behind. When one speaks, the manner will be cold, and their sentences garbled. A ghost will talk nonsense, leaving the living confused. It is a way to make certain that personal pain is felt by those left behind.“

“That’s horribly depressing.” She stifled a laugh rather poorly, which was usual. She always made fun of him for finding the strangest things to read from the library. But she never refused to listen to him talk about it.

“It gets worse.” It was fascinating, but heavy-hearted at the same time. “Sometimes the living can keep a dangerous ghost around because they get obsessed with their loss. Like, they’ll keep objects that used to belong to their loved ones with them at all times.”

“Ugh, Terra-”

“Hey, you never know. You might need this information.”

“Of course,” she said, her eyes fluttering shut. “Someday we’ll need to attempt a heroic rescue over some old lady who didn’t know she died.” Her voice cracked.

“You’re very tired.” He mustered every ounce of his will to stop himself from sounding disappointed, expecting she’ll leave him for bed.

She slowly opened her eyes, the dim lighting from the lamp on his side reflecting off of them. They stared into his for a while. “Yeah.” She actually sounded discouraged over her own tiredness, and it was a lie if Terra pretended that his heart didn’t flutter in that instant.

Still, he shouldn’t be too forward. “Should I carry you to your room? Or do you want to camp out here like we used to do during the snowstorms?”

“First of all,” she said, smacking him on the bicep, “I can take myself back to my room... But yeah, let’s camp here.”

It was the better answer. The lounge was one of the several rooms they’ve christened as spots for blanket and pillow forts when they were children. Inside the wardrobe were a heap of stacked blankets. They spread them out and layered them right in front of the tall windows - enough to makeshift a spacious bed.

The rain wasn’t letting up anytime soon. Each time lightning flashed, it illuminated her silhouette, the way her chopped hair fell around her face. Most days, Terra was able to handle his ache to touch her just fine.

Tonight, he snuck behind her in some feeble attempt to scare her. As expected, her reflex to defend herself kicked in - she sent an elbow straight back, which he grabbed. She laughed, her other hand right on his as he wrapped his free arm around her waist. She never seemed to learn that tackling him using just physical strength was always futile. Being this close to her, he could faintly smell notes of vanilla and lavender. He threw her onto the blankets, her laugh the sweetest sound next to the rain.

The sky was painted in shades of bright oranges and deep pinks. Sunsets in Twilight Town seemed to make the sandstone that shaped the architecture stand out all the more.

To see light again - after what apparently had been thirteen years of pure darkness, with nothing to see or touch - was an indescribable feeling.

Hearing voices that weren’t Xehanort’s took a few days to accept. The smell of food was overwhelming. The sights were unbelievable. He had spent such long hours in darkness with nothing but repeating memories and dreams. Anything he saw in his mind those years was probably warped. Seeing color again made him weep with happiness for the first several hours. Best of all, there was no Xehanort left to speak of - at least not speaking to him in his head.

But that was the biggest problem. He woke up, and didn’t understand why or remember what led to it. He was left to die in the middle of a desert, with four furry legs and an inability to walk properly. He was saved by a talking meerkat and warthog who took him to an oasis. It was there he met a young lion by the name of Sora. It didn’t take long for him to meet others, like his most esteemed successor, Riku.

Terra would describe the two of them as saviors. They helped him retrieve his armor and his Keyblade. Kept him up to date with all of the latest happenings. Listened to him when he briefly spoke about his past. But it had been two days since Riku came back from the Realm of Darkness, from a mission to find her. Avoiding Terra was such an understatement to describe how often he refused to answer calls.

That left Terra on guard duty in this quiet, peaceful town, checking the communicator they gave him every five minutes to see if Riku had finally replied. He listed every possible reason why he was awake in the first place.

He also replayed memories to himself, since he had no friends to share them with. Sneaking notes to Ventus during their study time, unable to stifle giggles. Ventus would write back to him the worst puns. Aqua sat right by him, her brow twitching every time they laughed as she glued her nose to a book. Until she grabbed the essay she was writing and smacked Terra right on the head, begging for some peace and quiet.

She was the same as him, though - she failed to contain a giggle of her own. They spent their entire childhoods with endless teasing like this - it was the easiest way to get her attention. When he got older, he wanted more from her, attention that was different than what he was used to. It was possible that he probably could have received it if he had asked. But old habits just didn’t break.

To think that was thirteen years ago, and he spent those last few moments they had together by shutting the both of them out, going out on his own, and hiding a bunch of truths he should have, could have, and would have shared with them. He could have been sharing this beautiful sunset-lit view with them now.

I didn’t even congratulate her for becoming a Master. I’ve ruined us.

He walked through the streets of Twilight Town, and checked his communicator again. Nothing. The buildings were tall, and it looked like magic was at work with the way the sun seemed to brighten every angle. Except for a hooded figure. So black was the cloak that it stood out like a mess of paint.

The hooded figure, a woman, saw that he noticed her, and bolted straight toward the forest outside of town.

“Hey!” He sprinted, following her into the trees, away from the ears of any civilian. She was lithe in her movements, almost floating in a way, using shadows to make her fly faster, to make her jump higher, to help her speed.

They reached a clearing, some decent patches of grass where thick tree trunks wouldn’t get in the way. She stopped and faced him, her hands melting into cascades of ever flowing shadows that seeped out from her long sleeves. Until they thinned out and hardened. He summoned his Keyblade, and she whipped.

The Master usually said that Terra excelled in staring down his opponents. In facing them with bravery. In analyzing their skills and preparing accordingly. The woman was a mage, a sorceress that utilized shadows that were able to bend to whatever she wanted them to be. She floated in the air, using mainly her whips for offense, at times trying to grab him. Not once did she say a word.

There were only two things that Terra needed to keep in mind: do not fall to his knees, and do not keep his eyes away from his enemies. 

Most of the fight was just a flurry of strikes that were blocked by others. But it was her dodging that gave him the first sense of unsettling dejá vu. He moved to slam her with his Keyblade, and she maneuvered a handless cartwheel to her left. A twirl here. A backflip there. Each dodge an opportunity she took to sneak up on him later. But each one was something he almost expected.

What hurt the most were his obliques. He gripped them as leaned onto his Keyblade. At least he wasn’t thrown down.

He waited for an opportunity to hit, and it looked like she waited for the same. The smoky shadows that kept pouring out of her long black sleeves still formed those annoying whips, but she kept them close to herself.

The woman made the next move. She flailed her right arm first before closely following it with her left. Terra maintained his defensive stance, blocking each strike as she continued to wail at him. He could feel that he was getting a bit more sluggish every second. So he darted the next strike and sprinted at her with all his might, raising the incredibly heavy Ends of the Earth to hit her as hard as he could.

She dodged, and dodged again. He stopped, and there they waited. Again, there was that itching feeling in the pit of his stomach. Something about the way she was moving. It was acrobatic. It happened at all the exact moments that never left him surprised.

He kept his Keyblade close and he breathed hard. What was worse than being this injured and fighting a new enemy this powerful was the thought that was threatening to leave his mouth.

And he didn’t have the strength to keep it in. “Aqua?”

The shadows didn’t exactly dissipate. They crawled right back into her sleeves, gloved hands forming in replacement. She started to remove the hood that was hiding her face.

The hand that held his Keyblade became weak. It felt like his face went cold, and he might as well be floating in the air since he forgot the pain he was under. Her hair had gone mostly white, save for the roots which were still blue. Her eyes were bright as always, but instead of bearing that enamoring azure color he kept a memory of all these years, they were amber. And they were furious.

All at once, Terra forgot he was breathing. He slowly walked forward, holding his hand out, but stopped himself short from touching her. She stood still, the look of wrath never wavering.

“I don’t understa-” He choked on a sob, and willed himself to hold it back.

She smacked her lips, and took a moment to respond. Her expression was fully unnatural for her.

“You understand exactly who you’re looking at,” she said with a low voice, but with an intensity that told him she was ready to strike again.

Of course he knew. He was looking at a parasite, during its gestation. It almost felt like he was going to faint, his face losing all feeling. “Why?”

There were small micro twitches throughout her face - her nose, her mouth, her eyes. As if she was enraged by the question and tried her hardest to contain it.

After what felt like forever of her staring at him this way, she asked, “did you ever think of me all these years? Just once?”

Terra let out a harsh gasp. “Of course I did!”

She breathed in slowly. “Then what was I doing, sitting in the dark all by myself this entire time? Hm?” She cocked her head at that last hm? But he had no proper answer.

Then she said, in a softer voice, “were the worlds safe the entire time I was gone? Was there a point to any of it?”

He shook his head slowly. His eyes burned and his throat constricted.

“And what were you thinking when you left us there to chase you around world-to-world?” she continued, her jaw quivering. “What was going through your head when you refused to come home?”

Again, he had no answer. She straightened her head, and strange sense of calm washed over all the movements that flooded her face before.

“You’ve ruined us,” she said.

Terra slowly dropped to his knees, leaning on his Keyblade. He stared at the ground.

“I know,” he said, failing to keep his voice steady. “Everything is broken, and I don’t know how to put it back together.”

He took in two breaths. She must been staring at him, because she didn’t move. He told himself to keep it together before speaking again. It was breathy, the way he said it. But it was the most strength he had.

“I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you when you needed me.”

No answer. He willed himself to look at her, even though he was terrified of what he would see. Her brows were slanted harsher than before, her lips so pursed that she must have been grinding her teeth. Aqua never used to get this angry.

If this was the most frightening she would get, then the only terror left to face was to tell her the truth. As crazy as it was. All these years of saying nothing, though, only to hit him back where it hurt the most.

“I’m sorry I never told you earlier,” he said, his voice surprisingly calmer like he was ready for the execution. He felt his eyes soften, but he refused to cry. “I love you.”

Her eyes quivered and they watered. Her mouth relaxed into a the beginning of shock as her eyes went wider.

He prepared for an attack, but then her face changed. It became... cold almost, and her eyes glassed over, almost like she suddenly became a different person. She reached her hand into her pocket, and threw something so hard that it told him she hated him. It hit him in shoulder, and bounced onto the dirt.

Her bright blue Wayfinder.

Fair enough. She slowly turned to walk away, leaving him and his unsteady breaths. 

What to say to make her stay?

“What about Ven?” he called out. There was no way she would abandon him. No way she would put him in danger.

She stopped, but refused to face him. It took way too long for her to reply, and it was impossible to read what she was feeling through her voice. “I don’t... need you to find him.”

Aqua kept going, disappearing into the trees. For the moment, Terra didn’t feel much of anything. It seemed that his body responded by simply denying everything he had seen. He eyed the Wayfinder, the only spark of blue that is among this forest baked in sunlight.

The sound of crumpling leaves and twigs crept up behind him. “She dealt a stronger resistance than you did,” said a voice that was soft, but only mock-pleasantly so. “Either way, her ability to continually struggle with it usually turned toward our favor.”

It was a young man, seemingly younger than Terra, with white hair, dark skin, and bright yellow eyes. There was no denying who this was. Xehanort, but a teenage version of him. How this was possible was beyond Terra’s understanding - not that he was able to mull over the reasons right now. The shock of seeing such a face nearly put him in a stupor.

This Xehanort smiled - it was a smile that oozed superiority, and it was perpetually different from the way an older Xehanort would have done it. The Master was practiced in pretending. This one still had a long way to go.

Terra only stared at him. This Xehanort wasn’t the one who told him continually, all these years, how he was good for nothing. That it was all his fault. That there was no one in the world who wanted him around. Still, it didn’t matter.

“What are you talking about?” Terra said, trying hard to keep his voice steady. There was no way he was going to give this bastard the benefit of hearing him in pain.

Xehanort maintained a smile. “She isn’t as frantic about resisting it as you were. On some level, part of her desired it. I believe most of it was due to the fact that she can now remember what it is like to feel again, and that she is free to roam where ever she may please.”

Terra let out a scoff that melted into a laugh. “Just shut up,” he said calmly. “She would never have-”

“But she did.” A glisten in the eyes, like rubbing salt on a wound. “She traded herself, for you.”

Terra held his breath. He shook his head, very quickly, and didn’t allow himself to gasp.

“You were a liability,” Xehanort continued. “We thus sought a more proper candidate who was primed for the responsibility.” He crossed his arms, his smile widening just a bit more. “I don’t believe she understood exactly what she was getting herself into.”

“You took everything from me.” Terra’s voice shook now. He hated himself for it, and he gripped the handle of his Keyblade so hard that his knuckles turned white. Eraqus was dead. Ventus was still missing. Now Aqua was taken.

Xehanort pretended not to hear it. “So much unspoken and forgotten emotion.  This made her much easier to manipulate than-”

Terra lunged at him, the latter summoning a Keyblade that was unrecognizable. Another mage, just like the old man, but much more temporal. Much more willing to let himself be distracted by anger.

And without a foreign will to bend the mind, Terra was free to let loose any ounce of darkness he was still scarred with. It was like unlimited power, fed by a hatred so deep, Terra wished he could end him there - take the life of a teenager, and everything in time and space would reverse.

It left the young Xehanort disarmed and up against the trunk of a tree, with his shoulder lodged under Terra’s substantial Keyblade. Without magic, Xehanort was just as weak as any, unable to wrestle out of Terra’s grip.

“I’ll take her back,” Terra said, and this made Xehanort sneer through his nose.

The he heard her voice. “Let him go.”

She stood there, shadows snaking up along her cloak. She wasn’t in a stance to attack, but her voice demanded submission all the same.

Surrounded by two enemies now... although one of them was someone he would never fight again, knowing now who she was.

He turned to face Xehanort, and said, “the next you see me, you’ll be afraid.” His voice was so low, it was only meant to be heard by one person.

Terra ripped his Keyblade out of the trunk, and Xehanort stumbled a bit, breathing hard.

The least he could do was keep his eyes on the enemy - at her. She was still Aqua, maybe she would always be. But not right now.

She held his stare until her eyes started to tremble, and she was the first to break contact.

“We have work to do,” she said to Xehanort, before turning her back. The teenager didn’t look too pleased with her reaction, but he gripped his shoulder and followed suit.

They walked some distance, where another man in a cloak, who was fairly large and very tall, waited for them by a gateway made of shadow. This man also had white hair that was long enough to drape his shoulders. Most surprising was his face - Terra’s face. Aqua walked through the corridor without acknowledging this man, but the man followed her with his gaze, and it made Terra uncomfortable to witness. Xehanort also disappeared through the gateway, and the man eyed Terra one more time before going through himself.

Alone. A gentle breeze shook the leaves that still took refuge in the canopies. Terra realized he was still gripping his Keyblade with an iron will, but forcing himself to relax opened a dam of tears to pour from his eyes instead. He walked over to the blue Wayfinder, and fell on his knees when he tried to pick it up.

Terra let the tears fall, barely breathing. His chest hurt the most, and he told himself that he wouldn’t vomit.

He held the Wayfinder to his forehead. When was the last time she truly smiled at me?

The morning of the Mark of Mastery exam. They stood together, right before opening the back doors to the entrance hall. The sun shone so brightly through the windows. The mountains were still green from the summer season. She looked at him, and with two fingers, traced the shape of a smile on her lips. Her own followed, and whenever she smiled - when she was really happy - her eyes sparkled. He remembered smiling back, although it was lie to say he wasn’t nervous. They were silent. Then they graced each other with good lucks and shook hands. It was the last time he had ever touched her, as well.

Tears continued to drip. He stroked the Wayfinder with his thumb, his nose stuffed up.

Peculiarly, he felt a nub at the back of the trinket. He flipped it to see a tiny, rolled up piece of paper taped there. He gently unrolled it, careful not to destroy the beautiful details she poured her heart into the creation of this star-shaped charm. The scroll was tiny and narrow, and it had three lines.

The first - her handwriting, soft and elegant:

Find him. May your heart be your guiding key. You just need the right one.

The others - still hers, but they were scratchy, as if she was being tortured when she wrote them:

It cannot break.

It hurts so much.

Terra let out a breath, the last of his tears tracing his jawline. “I know it hurts,” he said out loud. “But you’re going to be okay. I’m going to fix this.”

With a refreshed bravado, Terra stood up quickly, and hustled back to the motel he was staying in. The sun was disappearing behind the horizon, and most of the sky was dark. He turned on only the bathroom light, so that the bedroom was illuminated by it and what remained of the sun. He placed the communicator on the dresser and made his way to the narrow standing mirror right by the windows. 

He began to undo the clasp that held the string of her Wayfinder together.

A question she asked him a few weeks before their Mark of Mastery exam rang in his mind...

“Do you know what I would haunt you for, if I ever turned into a ghost?”

They laid next to each other that stormy night, on top of several blankets, with some pillows they took from the lounge sofas. She was on her side, facing him, while he opted to rest on his back. Close enough to touch each her, and damn, he wanted to.

He allowed a half-smile. “No, what?”

She rolled onto her back. “The fudge cake you rejected for your sixteenth birthday.”

“Oh please-”

“It had multiple layers-”

“I already apologized for that-“

“And I worked so hard on it-”

“It’s not that your baking is bad. Far from it. I just needed a change of diet.” He scoffed and added, “I still ate it, anyway.”

“I even put strawberries on top.” He could see in the dark that her smile was smug.

Terra snarled. “I’d haunt you for driving me crazy.”

She giggled and rolled back to face him. Her eyes were just as beautiful and bright at night. “But seriously though,” she said, “we should make a pact about this. And it should be a serious one.” She thought for a moment. “Hey, why did we stop making blood oaths?”

He laughed. “You forgot about that? We decided that it hurt too much to prick our fingers for everything single stupid thing. We were doing them for reasons like saving each other from being stuck on a tree.”

She snorted. “I think when you’re eight or nine, being stuck on a tree is a scary enough ordeal.”

“We still made pacts, though. We agreed to replace them with pinky shakes.” He smiled at her. “Don’t you remember? We said they meant just as much.”

“Okay then. Let’s promise to save each other’s souls if we ever turn into ghosts.” She held out her pinky finger. “What do you say?”

He gazed at her for a moment, and lightning struck. He wished he could hold her by the waist to bring her close to him.

He hooked her pinky with his own. “I guess you’re worth the trouble.”

... Terra wore the Wayfinder around his neck. Its bright blue stood out against the earthy tones of his clothes. He placed his hand on his sternum, underneath the trinket, as he stared at the mirror. It felt light on his chest, sitting close to his heart.

From her peripheral, a small light blinked from his dresser. A message on his communicator. It was Riku. The message said that Sora found a Keyblade washed up on the beach of their home world, and Riku asked if they could come together to investigate it.

Terra looked back through the windows, seeing that the sun left a sliver of red along the horizon. The stars were bright. He reached up to touch her Wayfinder again, and stepped out of the motel to summon his glider.

YOOOO so if you haven’t heard, I’ve gotten some requests to expand on this and include Terra saving her and their eventual reconciliation. Let me know if that’s what you would like, as I’m mulling it over!

Thank you guys so much for reading this! Especially to those of you who stuck by this particular story. The mention of the Keyblade that Sora found is essentially inspired by the multiple theories that were popping up all over the place over the very first trailer for Kingdom Hearts III, where Sora found Eraqus’ Master Defender on the beach of Destiny Islands - possibly hinting that Aqua was severed from it when she turned into Aquanort. Most of these theories say that it’s the key to finding Ventus - since it would be terribly out of character for her to put him in such danger. I just wanted to play with a tragic love story. I hope you guys enjoyed this!!

[bangtaninwonderland-au]

Chapter 1

December 4th 10:43pm

Man this was some cold weather we had going on in Portland. I was used to being in the freezing temperatures all my life but latley it’s become unbearable. I was walking back from university with a lot weighing on my mind.

Winter break was finally here... all my friends were gone for the holidays. Some on trips others with family. I couldn’t be as lucky as my classmates. I had no money to go on fun trips, I had no family to return home too. None of that which mattered. This is what it always came back down to... that Lonley ache that comes at the worst of times. That ache that brings it back... it brings it all back.

“ Y/n!!” I heard. I turned around and saw kyungsoo running toward me . What is he doing out at this hour? But then again why am I still out.

“ soo? What are you doing out! It’s like late and freezing!” I groaned. For some reason this boy stood outside in a long sleeve and joggers and slippers. It didn’t need to snow here for it to be unbearable. “ your gonna be too sick to even enjoy break come on” I laughed.

“ you left your phone inside genius! “ he smiled handing me my phone softly his eyes gleaming with what I assume was the frost bite that would soon get him. But inside I knew it was something more. He came closer smiling, without a second to spare my body went rigid. He was too close to me . “ it’s too cold let me walk you home” he smiled warmly, but too warm for me.

“ no” I said . I don’t even know if I spoke it clear enough but the words tumbled out so fast he even had to ask for me to repeat it.

“ thank you kyungsoo! But I am just a few minutes from home and I’m fine really thanks so much I have to go . Please go back and enjoy your break!” I said softly taking my phone into my pockets.

He nodded and went on his way but not before blowing me a kiss half way back. I admit I laughed, I knew he was sweet . Always looking out for everyone and helping when he can. But sweet isn’t far from tainted. And I never know who has hidden agendas. I fought back the thoughts of what kyungsoo could be and began walking home again. By the time I reached my flat I could feel my toes again.

I freshened up and out on my warm sock that made me feel like a little kid again. I smiled to myself at the memory of being a little girl plying with my friend in fuzzy socks. I remembered sliding down my wooden floors playin games. It was fond memories I kept close in my heart.

Flashback

“ hobi! Watch this move! “ I shouted loud. I turned fast on my feet letting my fuzzy socks spin me like the ballerina that dances in my music box to the nutcracker. I stoped myself laughing hard excited that I pulled it off without falling on the hard wooden floor.

“ no way! How did you do that?? Can only girls do that?? Yah !! Y/n please show me!” Hoseok begged with a smile to light the night sky.

“ ok I’ll show you !!” I cheered . It took only one try for hobi to get it completely down. He spun faster than me and I couldn’t believe it! I was so jealous but happy I could teach hoseok so good. I was happy my best friend is so tAlented!

After spinning and spinning. We got pizza and ice cream I was so happy we had some! I was glad hobi came over I hope he never leaves. It’s better when he stays.. the bad things don’t happen when he’s here.

I wanna keep him.

Present

I smiled softly wiping a tear from my eye. I sat down on my bed and begin to scroll through my tv. I haven’t been to in touch with the world or news. I study harder than any kid in school. Anything to keep this scholarship in tact. I turned through fast until I saw a face that took in my breathe. I had to pause I had to think I had to pray I had not imagined what I saw. I flicked back to the channel and it was real. It was there.

But how? On my tv? On my American tv? No it’s not him... I’m just thinking of him.

I turned the volume up louder waiting to hear those words.

“ welcome back to LA! Talk!” The nasally reporter chirped. He voice was like needles and yet here I was the tv on blast eager to be wrong of this myster man. He looked like him but taller.. his hair was brighter but his yes held me tighter than gravity could ever. I knew those eyes.

“ we are here with korean pop sensations BTS! Guys welcome to America! How are you all feeling right now? Here for the Music awards nomination after nomination this is crazy guys!” She boasted loudly to them.

I counted 7 guys on my tv being questioned by this tiny lady with too much makeup on. The all smiled very politely and nodded after every word she said but she had said korean?? Are they from Seoul? If they were from Korea... than that could be him.

“ honestly we are shocked the Amount of love we get in American is unbelievable. It’s all for our army. We love then we want to keep making them proud” the one with dimples said. His English was so good I was impressed. The lady kept talking barley even breathing me alone letting them answer. Suddenly I heard that man talk. It wasn’t in English and it was more of a mumble to the one with colorful hair. But loud enough to cause me to drop the remote.

“ I’m sorry I couldn’t understand him” she whines asking to translate.

The English speaking guy smiles again but I can tell he’s over it. “ he was just saying we are glad to perform and even if we leave empty handed it doesn’t matter cause we did it for Army” he smiled.

The lady awed and even gave him a high five. “ oh J-hope your too sweet” she cooed.

“ yeah Hoseok is definitely our hope. He’s our sunshine of the group” one of the boys said proudly taking Hoseok hand in his own. I watched him smile bright and laugh louder than I ever heard. I couldn’t keep the tears from pouring.

It had been years since I left.. years since I said goodbye. Years since I lied to his face. But here he was so happy . He made it. He’s a superstar? I mean.. I couldn’t help but smile.

“ so where did you get the name jhope or sunshine for that matter “ she asked.

Then I saw dip in his smile. The small twitch in his lip that mAde him look at the reporter with a hint of sadness. Because I knew the answer.. so did he.

“ he had a childhood friend growing up that called him her hope cause he always was there for her. He was as he told us her little Superman “ the one spoke again. He kept looking at hobi as he spoke each word. He sat there tight lipped nodded softly.

“ and the last time he saw her she called him her sunshine so he always took those names with him. Hence j-hope. So he carries her with him. “ he finished rubbing his hand against hobos back giving him support. I could see it.. it was coming. I wanted to turn it . I didn’t wanna see him suffer. I was frozen, I was hating myself every second for causing him this uncomfortable ordeal.

Why was he so sweet. Why do these boys know these things.

“ what sweet words! I bet she’s so proud of you now! What does she think now!” The reporter smiled so wide and fAke.

Hobi sat up straight and chuckled forcing every word out his mouth , fighting the tears. “She’s dead”.

[beanie-beebo-writes]

It follows

Series Summary: Reader is running from financial problems and his/her studies, will they catch up with him/her? Charlie's close friends (none other than Sam and Dean) go to check up on the reader due to Charlie becoming worried for him/her. Trouble pursues, as the reader wants to keep silent about his/her struggles.

Warnings: Brief description of vomit

Masterlist

Chapter 10

"You were talking to him on the phone while I was in the shower, weren't you?" Sam asked.

"Maybe.." You replied with a slight grimace.

Sam's well known puppy-dog look almost drew you in.

"You didn't have to lie to me (Y/n), it's alright."

You shrugged, not really wanting to get into detail about your doubts.

Thankfully, no one seemed to press on, so you all ate in silence. It wasn't awkward, yet there was still some tension felt in the air. Maybe they were too worn out from the drive to insist anything too greatly. You didn't really know, but you accepted it with open arms.

It was only a few moments later that you completely licked your entire foam plate clean. You hadn't had a decent meal like this in what seemed like forever, and you couldn't have been more grateful. You looked up to the boys' mirroring surprise.

"You gonna eat the plate too?" Dean chuckled.

You quickly pulled your tongue back in and turned a deep shade of red. "No.."

"We can get you something else if you're really that hungry, do you want anything?" Sam asked.

You were about to say no when your stomach grumbled in protest; as if you didn't feel like a burden enough.

"That just means I'm digesting, I'm good." You lied, again.

Sam looked at you in disbelief. "Are you sure, (Y/N)?"

You nodded before you had a chance to change your mind. "Yeah. Hey, are we doing more research on the case? Or are we going to check out the vics first?"

The brothers luckily took the bait. "We'll check them out first, just to give us some more concrete evidence on what we're dealing with. Gotta be thorough." Dean replied with a wink; his mouth stuffed with the last of a burger.

That was odd, Dean always seemed to jump to conclusions... At least from what you read. Maybe the books were different after all.

"I'll call the coroner to see if they'll take us earlier." Sam said, whipping out his phone.

"And if we can't get ahold of them," Dean made his way over to his duffle bag. "we'll head to the victims' loved ones, since we're headed there eventually."

Out of the large aged duffle came a suit neatly folded in plastic, which Dean seemed to be a little too cautious with (at least compared to his own clothes). He also pulled out a long navy tie for himself, along with a snazzy pair of shoes; which were still in a cardboard box. It then clicked that he and Sam rented their suits, and did not possess enough money to own one. Then it dawned you, that neither did you.

How had you not thought of attire for the case? Oh yeah, flashbacks. You shook your head to clear the memories that threatened to take control once again, and pondered deeply for a solution. There had to be something in your suitcase, right?

You instantly bolted to your luggage and dug for anything remotely businessesque. You were disappointed to remember that you left a lot of your clothes back at the dorm, figuring that traveling light would be best. But you didn't think you were going hunting with the Winchesters, so you didn't think to pack hunting essentials almost a year ago. After digging for a few minutes, you came across one of your dress shirts and a decent pair of slacks.

"Dean?" You asked a little timidly.

"Yeah?"

"Would this pass for an FBI agent?" You asked, holding up your outfit.

He paused from laying his suit out on the bed and gave your outfit a quick once-over.

"I think we could pass you as an agent-in-training at least." He remarked.

Sam walked over between you and Dean, explaining that the coroner would take you all within the next hour. Surprisingly, you weren't as far as you thought, as the three of you were situated on the outskirts of the city where the incidents all occurred; Kokomo, Indiana. With an acceptable amount of traffic on the road, it would take around forty minutes to an hour to get to the coroner's office.

"We better head out in a few then, if we want to get there in time." Dean replied.

Sam nodded. "You have something to wear (Y/N)?"

You held up the outfit Dean approved of, causing Sam to bite the inside of his cheek.

"We can always say she is an agent in training." Dean reassured.

"True.." Sam looked at the outfit once more and nodded. "Yeah, we can make it work. Alright, let's get going."

It wasn't until you got in the car that you knew it would be a long day. Your stomach began to rumble noisily again, but it was luckily unheard by everyone but yourself. You just hoped you could hold off at least until supper that evening.

You used water to tide off your hunger curb on the fifty minute drive to the Howard County Coroner Office, figuring that the sight of corpses would only decrease your appetite anyway.

"You ready?" Sam asked as you stepped out of the back seat.

You nodded with a gulp, knowing there certainly would be no turning back after seeing those haunted mangled bodies. Dean gave you a wary look, but you pushed him off mentally with an assuring nod. Although, you couldn't help but look back from the office steps at the world as you knew it.

"Agents, glad you could come earlier!" A stocky balding man beamed, in front of a small receptionist's desk.

"I'm glad you allowed us to, Mr. Seele." Sam replied.

"Is (he/she) a friend of yours?" Mr. Seele inquired.

"Oh, yeah. This is (Mr/Ms) Blaise, (he/she)'s our newest agent in training." Dean said.

Mr. Seele smiled warmly. "Well welcome to you too (Mr/Ms) Blaise!"

"Thank you." You replied as professionally as you possibly could.

He nodded in response. "Well boys, let's get right to it; I have a couple other clients to attend to this afternoon."

"No problem sir, it shouldn't take long." Sam commented.

The three of you were led down a slightly musty corridor. The room you were about to enter was a couple doors down on the right hand side, considering that this was the sole room to have extremely bright fluorescent lights. The boys looked at you one last time before they stepped into the room first. As another reassurance to yourself and to them, you curtly nodded.

The strong smell of chemicals watered your eyes as soon as you stepped foot into the room; the faint smell of multiple different bodily fluids and decomposition only made your stomach turn worse. How could someone even work in a place like this on a daily basis? You tried to focus on some more pleasant situations as the Head Coroner and the brothers discussed the bodies.

"I would definitely call this an animal attack, a weird one if that." Mr. Seele inferred, "You'll see what I mean once I show you the bodies."

Here we go. You tried to prepare yourself for the worst as he slid out seven bodies from their storage compartments; you weren't nearly as prepared. Bile burned the back of your throat as you slowly inched closer to the boys and the stiff shells of life that lay before you. They would have looked as if they were asleep if it were not for the large gaping holes in their chests.

"Do you have their reports on file, doctor?" Sam asked.

"We certainly do." He replied, pulling the coordinating files from multiple clipboards on a long table.

The names of the victims were Brayden Cole, Theodore Cromwell, Zachary Gort, James Page, Wanton Meers, Thomas Gartner, and Kelly Marx; as if that mattered anymore. They were lives of the past, that were currently who knows where. The only thing they all seemed to have in common thus far was the garish chest wound on each of their bodies. They weren't all the same gender nor same race, but of course, that wouldn't matter to a werewolf.

"I would have to agree with you doc, on the animal attack, but we'll still dig deeper anyway. We'll take it from here." Dean said.

"Alright. Just be sure close the door behind you!" The coroner responded.

"I would definitely say a wolf is what we're dealing with, the victims seem to have no relation to one another." Sam concluded as he flipped through the various reports.

You swallowed audibly. "It does look messy enough." You added.

"Now we just gotta find the culprit." Dean said, striding out the door to the morgue.

You were hasty to follow.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You greeted the fresh air as if you would've never been outside from that moment on, at least for the rest of the day. It made you wonder if this lifestyle was really for you.

"How are you, kiddo?" Dean asked once you all were outside of the building.

"Um... I mean, I'm hanging in there for now, if that's what you're asking." You falsified.

"Good, because we still have a couple more people to interview, if you're up to it."

You sighed in relief for the distraction. "As long as I don't see more bodies f-"

It was literal word vomit. Contents likely from this afternoon spewed from your mouth onto the concrete steps and you choked. Your head spun, causing you to cling to the railing desperately. Several hands were placed on your back, but your head swam too much to tell who they specifically belonged to.

"Easy, easy!" Dean exclaimed.

Shivers traveled through your body as you finally finished emptying your stomach. You were sure that you would have lost it in the morgue, not around ten minutes later. You suddenly felt better but worse at the same time. So much for playing it cool.

"What the hell." You mumbled.

"(Y/N), hey, you okay?" Sam asked with a frown.

You cleared your throat and spit the remaining bile out from your mouth. "I think so." You answered truthfully.

Sam and Dean sat you down away from the vomit and comforted you for a moment more.

"Do you have any reason that my body decided to wait to freak out over a dead body?" You asked.

"Shock maybe?" Dean replied.

You lightly nodded, considering that they had their fair share of dead bodies to observe and deal with over the years.

"You good to go back to the car? Or are you going to spill your guts all over my leather seats?" He asked, arching an eyebrow.

"Yeah, I'm good." You knew the remaining nausea had to be from the lack of food in your system.