#Levi ackerman x reader angst

[liyliths]

.˚𓅆࿐ 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐌𝐨𝐜𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐣𝐚𝐲 𝐒𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 an aot au / inspired by the hunger games

𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐎𝐍𝐄

summary: survive. that's all you've known you're entire life - to survive. survive district 12, survive the reaping, and survive the capitol. but when you're reaped for the 98th annual hunger games alongside levi ackerman, will you seize the opportunity of rebellion when it arises? the mockingjay is singing, dear reader, please choose wisely.

“Pretty.” A voice calls from behind you, and your gaze catches the reflection of light ginger hair in the mirror. “You look pretty.” You turn around, but can’t quite come up with the right words to say. “Thanks,” you muster up, meeting the girl’s amber eyes.  “Are you ready?” The ginger tentatively asks. Judging by the dread hidden beneath her eyes, she doesn’t look like she wants to face the reaping either. “I guess so.”

pairings: levi ackerman x reader

contains: fem!reader, strangers to lovers, slow burn, hurt and comfort, semi canon compliant, character death, descriptions of blood, phycological trauma, rebellion, this is gonna hurt but be so rewarding, and any other warnings that come with aot characters/the hunger games universe

word count: 6.5k

playlist

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You've hated the capitol for as long as you can remember. You hate them for everything they've taken away from you. The people you've lost, the cruelties woven into everyday life, the way you've had to survive, and the games. The Hunger Games. Who came up with them anyway?

You know better than to ever dare say anything out loud about it.

It was all about control. After the thirteen districts were defeated in the rebellion, twelve remained. The capitol created the Hunger Games—a brutal punishment for the districts, forcing their children to fight to the death in an arena every year on the anniversary of the capitol's victory. The games are broadcast across Panem, turning slaughter into spectacle, while the people in the capitol sit comfortably with their champagne, watching children kill each other for their entertainment.

It was cruel. You hated how you couldn't do anything about it, how you couldn't save any of the innocent children sent to be slaughtered. All you could do was live with it. That's all anyone could do—and hope to hell they wouldn't be selected for the games.

You don't think the people in the capitol quite understand what the districts go through, especially in the slums of District 12. You can't remember how long it's been since you've been fending for yourself... it feels like that's how your entire life has been. All you know is survival.

You stare at your reflection in the mirror, fidgeting with the collar of your blue blouse, styled with a neat beige skirt you borrowed from the mayor's daughter. Even though you've never been particularly close, a few years ago she was kind enough to offer you presentable clothing for this dreadful day every year. It became a tradition between you two.

Perhaps she pitied you, or maybe she is genuinely kind. Probably both.

The reaping was today. Today, they gather all the children from each district to their town center and draw two unlucky names from a bowl to fight to the death. You know better than to expect to see someone from twelve make it back from the games. No one in District 12 comes back.

"Pretty." A voice calls from behind you, and your gaze catches the reflection of light ginger hair in the mirror. "You look pretty."

You turn around, but can't quite come up with the right words to say.

"Thanks," you muster up, meeting the girl's amber eyes.

"Are you ready?" The ginger tentatively asks. Judging by the dread hidden beneath her eyes, she doesn't look like she wants to face the reaping either.

"I guess so."

This was the last year either of you were eligible for the games, with the cutoff age being eighteen. The final reaping you'd ever have to endure. You're not sure if that's a relief or a curse because after this, you can't put your name in for extra rations anymore.

You've put in extra entries since you were twelve for more rations, or tessare. As they've stacked up over the years, your odds are now seventeen times worse.

That means nothing to lose, right?

One thing about District 12 is that it's never quiet. Usually, the bustling sounds of conversation come from the market, along with the sound of pickaxes against coal, and kids running around with the town strays. The only sounds you can hear today are the dread-filled footsteps of children and anxious parents walking toward the town center. Everyone takes their time heading to the reaping.

Not even the birds sing today.

-

The peacekeepers with ugly white suits stare, making sure everything is going smoothly. You see two girls holding hands. The mayor's daughter walks in silence beside you. Her father said his goodbyes, he said he'll see her for supper and she believes it. You know better than to tell yourself you'll be back, just in case the worst happens. Boys and girls alike between the ages twelve through eighteen file into the town hall after getting their identities verified by the peacekeepers.

Everyone is quiet.

After the children get checked in, everyone settles to their selective spots—the girls and boys in opposite sections and parents nervously waiting for their children on the sidelines. A tap on the microphone in center stage rings through your ears from the speakers, startling you amidst the silence.

"Welcome!" A lady beams with a twisted smile, excitedly surveying the crowd. "Happy Hunger Games! And, may the odds be ever in your favor."

You feel yourself scoffing at that. This lady recites the same shit every year, with the same bright ugly hair and outfit, although they change colors each time. You always wonder what she's going to wear next.

"Now, before we begin, we have a very special film brought to you all the way from the capitol!" The lady announces, shifting her focus to the projection screen strung up in the town center for all to see.

You tune the video out every year. You don't want to hear the capitol bullshit about "generosity" or "forgiveness", you find it rather ironic. If this was about a lesson for the districts after the rebellion, why carry it on for generations?

You don't think you'll ever find the answer to that, that is just how it is. However, one thing is certain—you know the capitol is twisted.

"Are you alright?" The amber-eyed girl whispers to you, genuine concern etched on her face. She is nervous too—you notice the way her hands fumble with the insides of her skirt pockets.

"I'm ready to get this over with," you lean over, whispering to the girl. You see her nod in agreement out of your peripheral vision. Soon enough, the bullshit video was over and the bright-haired lady's insufferable voice echoed through the town hall once more.

"I just love that!" The lady gushed, but was quick to move on to the next "exciting" order of business. "Now, the time has come for us to select one courageous young man and woman for the honor of representing District 12 in the 98th annual Hunger Games!"

She paused, as if waiting for some sort of applause. She didn't get one.

"Well, as usual... ladies first." She flashed a bright smile, disappointment lingering on her face. It makes you wonder if she enjoys being the one picking children to be sent to the games, as if she should be praised.

You watch her waddle to the left side of the outdoor stage in her heels, oh-so-gracefully dipping her hand into the reaping bowl for the girls and filing through the pieces of paper with entry names. You look at the ginger next to you, she looks even more nervous than just a few moments ago. You want to comfort her, but before you can say anything, the capitol lady on the stage pulls out an entry and waddles back to the microphone.

Seventeen entries. Your name is entered in that bowl seventeen times.

The bright-haired lady awkwardly fumbles with the paper and squints through the sunlight beaming under the clouds as she reads the entry. She takes a deep breath before she announces the name. Everyone is holding their breath. It's quiet.

"Petra Ral!"

You think you can feel your heart stop.

The ginger next to you, Petra—froze in place. Everyone knew her as the mayor's daughter, which meant everyone knew exactly where to look for her in the crowd. All eyes were on her. You glance up to the stage where you saw her father, the mayor, stand up in his seat to protest, but was quickly blocked by peacekeepers.

"Come on up, dear." The bright-haired lady quips, beckoning the ginger to the stage with an oh-so-welcoming smile.

You glance at Petra, and your eyes lock with her amber ones. You think the look on her face might haunt you for the rest of your life.

She knows she's going to die in those games. You know she's going to die in those games.

The crowd around you and the selected tribute clear the way for the two peacekeepers marching toward the ginger. You can only watch as they grab the side of her arms and escort her toward the stage. She tries to thrash away from their grip, but it's useless.

She won't last a day in that arena. Between the careers, the mutts, and whatever else the gamemakers throw at her, she won't make it. It's not fair.

It's not fair, it's not fair, it's not...

"I volunteer as tribute!"

The words burst from your mouth before you can even think about stopping them. The peacekeepers stop in their tracks. It's quiet again.

"Oh! I believe we have a volunteer!" The capitol lady claps enthusiastically from the stage.

You feel a new set of peacekeeper's arms wrap around yours. Your limbs feel practically numb as they drag you up to the stage. You pass Petra as the other peacekeepers take her back to her place in the crowd. You don't even look at her. You have to stay strong. You know every camera in the town hall is on you.

It just shows the capitol doesn't care who gets picked for the games, mayor's child or not.

She has everything to lose. What do you?

"This is District 12's very first volunteer!" The bright-haired lady announces excitedly, putting her hand on your back once you bring yourself up the steps to the stage, carefully guiding you toward the center.

"What is your name?" She asks, her colorful eyelashes batting at you.

You swallow hard, trying to find your voice. "Y/N L/N."

"Well now, let's have a big round of applause for our very first volunteer!" The lady requests, but no one follows her as she begins to applaud.

Your eyes lock with Petra's from the stage. Then, something unexpected happens. Three middle fingers of her left hand touch her lips, and she raises them to the sky. The rest of the crowd follows Petra, one by one, putting three fingers in the air as a salute.

You know what that gesture means. It's an old and rarely used sign of your district, occasionally seen at funerals. It means thanks, it means admiration, it means goodbye to someone you love.

You can tell the bright-haired lady doesn't know what to do at this point. She pauses for a moment, but quickly moves on. She's good at deferring. "Now, for the boys!"

This time, she doesn't take her time grabbing an entry, most likely eager to get the ceremony over with. She hastily waddles in her stilettos back to the microphone from the entry bowl, unfolding the paper and putting on a gleeful smile.

"Levi Ackerman!"

You watch the tension among the crowd of boys visibly drop, a collective sigh of relief settling over them, except for one. His posture remains rigid, muscles tight as all eyes shift to him. He's lean, with dark raven hair that looks vaguely familiar. His gaze darts around in disbelief as peacekeepers move in, gripping his arms. He brashly jerks against their hold, trying to break free, but it's no use. His expression shifts sharply, anger flashing across his face like a spark ready to ignite.

You wonder if he'll accept it—his fate. You don't even know if you have. No one from District 12 comes back from the games.

The black-haired boy is placed beside you as the capitol lady reapproaches the microphone after greeting him, rather cheerful. You think her voice might give you a headache. "Here they are, our tributes for District 12!"

You know what everyone's thinking. I'm sorry it was you, but I'm grateful it wasn't me.

You flinch at the feeling of a hand on your shoulder, turning to see the bright-haired lady grinning at you. "Well, come on you two, shake hands!" She says and takes a step back, allowing you to get a good look at the boy next to you.

Now that you've met his eyes, the unmistakable silver-blue irises staring back at you—you do recognize him.

He wasn't much better-off than you, he was an orphan too, fighting to survive in a world that gave him nothing. One night during a terrible rainstorm, the bakery burned a batch of bread, and that's when he saw you, hollow-eyed and starving. Despite his own hunger, he was able to salvage one loaf of bread out of the pigs pen and shared it with you after getting chased off by the bakers. He split it with you without a word, expecting nothing back in return.

You're forever grateful for that.

He is the first one to reach out his hand, his eyes carefully gazing into yours. You wonder if he remembers too. You raise your hand and return the handshake. You grip his hand, rough calluses brushing against yours, and he gives you a reassuring squeeze. The bright-haired lady starts to speak again before you two can finish.

"Happy Hunger Games! And, may the odds be ever in your favor!"

Though, you both know your odds are fucked.

The guards escorted you and your district partner to waiting rooms inside of the town hall to say goodbye to anyone who might want to, usually family or friends. You're only given a handful of minutes, but you don't exactly expect anyone to walk through that door. Hell, you wouldn't even blame Petra if she didn't.

With your hand on the windowsill, you rest your weight against it, taking in these last few minutes until you're hauled off to the capitol. You know you aren't likely to ever see your home again. You know you'll miss it, the woods have always been home. Unexpectedly, the doors burst open and you're met with none other than the mayor's daughter, Petra.

"You didn't have to," you whisper. It's no use. Although you two were never particularly close, she still rushes up to you and scoops you into a big hug. Your arms reluctantly reach around her back, taking a shaky breath.

Petra pulls back from you, her expression almost in shock. "I thought—I thought I was... I don't know how I can ever repay you for this!"

You can't help but smile at her generosity. "You don't need to. There's no use anyway."

The ginger shakes her head furiously. "I've seen your hauls when you come back from the woods! You can hunt," she speaks quickly, she knows she's running out of time with you. "You can hunt, and you're a survivor. You can win this."

Your smile fades, and you feel yourself sigh. You don't want to let her get her hopes up for your return. You can't.

"Petra, you and I both know no one from District 12 comes back—"

"Don't you dare speak of such things. Make them pay," she interrupts, her voice lower. She nods, almost to herself, cautiously scanning her surroundings before reaching into her dress pocket to pull out a shiny pin.

She hands it to you—it's gold, with a bird in motion of flight in the center. It's a Mockingjay.

The Capitol originally engineered a mutation known as the Jabberjay, designed during the rebellion to eavesdrop on rebels and spies by recording and repeating conversations. However, the districts quickly caught on, using the Jabberjays to spread false information. Once they outlived their usefulness, the capitol abandoned them in the wild, expecting them to die off. Instead, the Jabberjays mated with female Mockingbirds, creating an entirely new species—the Mockingjay.

You're not quite sure what Petra meant by 'they', either, but before you have the chance to ask, or rather, thank her for the pin—a peacekeeper barges through the door announcing your time is up, and begins to escort Petra out of the room. You shove the pin in your skirt pocket, hoping to the gods the peacekeeper didn't see it, only able to watch as Petra gets dragged away from you.

"You have to try!" She says one more time, but this time, you give an optimistic reply, though you can't help but doubt yourself. "I will!"

As soon as you finish your sentence, the door is slammed shut behind the peacekeepers as they drag Petra out. You are left alone in the suffocating silence of the dim room once again, aside from the sound of your uneven breathing.

You hate this. You hate knowing that you're never going to see her or your home ever again.

-

You and Levi are hauled in a military vehicle to the bullet train along with the annoying bright-haired lady. You can't help but tune her blabbering out, and judging off the look on Levi's face, you think he's doing the same. After a short while, you are escorted onto the train that travels between the districts and to the capitol.

You'd never seen it in person, but it definitely exceeded your expectations. The train's shiny silver metal reflects against the sunlight, almost blinding you. It is infamous for the high speeds it travels at. You're not exactly sure how fast it goes, but you know it can reach the other side of the country within a day.

When you step inside of the train, you're met with the most luxurious interior you've ever laid your eyes on. There are sets of velvet furniture, walls adorned with exclusive wallpaper, paired with crystal chandeliers hanging from the ceiling. A delicious scent overwhelms you, and your mouth waters at the next thing you lay your eyes on—food. Practically enough to feed the entire population of District 12 if rationed out properly.

There are pastries, plenty of fruit, along with a great selection of cheese and meats. The only time you've been able to eat meat was when you caught your own in the woods, usually squirrels or rabbits, but on rare occasions—deer.

The dark-haired boy beside you seems just as stunned as you are, both of you frozen at the sight of the food laid out before you. It feels almost selfish to have this much when everyone back in District 12 is starving. Guilt knots in your chest as you hesitate before slowly stepping toward the table overflowing with beautiful dishes. Out of the corner of your eye, you see your district partner fall into step beside you, just as hesitant.

It's not fair.

You both eat anyway.

The first thing you reach for is a fresh roll of bread, still warm, its soft crust glistening with a light coat of melted butter. Out of the corner of your eye, you catch Levi picking up a pastry—a cheese danish. You'd had the chance to try one once, traded by a kind woman at the market for a couple squirrels. To this day, you think it was the best thing you've ever tasted.

As you're stuffing your face with bread rolls, a bubbly voice chirps from behind you. "Pace yourselves, you two!"

You resist the urge to roll your eyes. It's not like she'd understand—raised in the capitol, she's so out of touch it's almost humorous. Nothing you can do about that.

"Good grief," a gruff voice follows after the sound of a door opening. You turn from the table to look at the man, his expression almost as unimpressed as you feel. "Let them eat."

The first thing you notice about him is the unsteady way he staggers toward you, followed quickly by the sharp, rancid scent of alcohol hitting your nose. He's drunk, no question about it. As he draws closer, you get a better look at him. Short blond hair, fair skin, and hazel eyes that flick lazily between you and Levi, sizing you both up disinterestedly.

"Congratulations," the drunkard slurs, snatching a glass from the nearby table, his fingers twitching with anticipation as he hovers over the selection of bottles. After a brief, careless scan, he settles on an amber-colored liquor, filling it to the brim without a second thought.

You and Levi exchange an uncertain glance before shifting your attention back to the man, watching as he stumbles toward a seat beside you. He drops into it with an exasperated sigh, taking a long swig of his drink before grandly gesturing for you and the dark-haired boy to sit across from him. Hesitant, but with little choice, you both obey, sinking into the stiff cushions of a square sofa.

The man says nothing—just sits there, staring at the two of you. You grow uncomfortable underneath his gaze, but before you get the chance to break the silence, your district partner does it for you.

"You're supposed to be our mentor?"

The drunk lets out a low chuckle, taking another swig of his drink before setting the glass down with a dull thud on the table beside him. From behind, the bright-haired woman pipes up, her voice demanding. "Show Hannes some respect! He's won these games before!"

You scoff under your breath. Respect? You're expected to put on your best manners while being shipped off to the Hunger Games—on top of discovering your mentor is a washed-up drunk? What a joke.

You doubt this guy will even try to be of any help, but it's worth a shot. You lean forward in your seat, raising an eyebrow. "So, what great advice do you have for us, Hannes?"

The drunk smirks. "Well sweetheart," he exaggerated, "the best advice I can offer you is to accept, deep in your heart, that you will not be making it out of that arena."

The bright-haired lady, whom you have yet to figure out the name of, gasps. "Hannes! Don't be absurd!"

Levi's jaw tightens, a scowl settling across his face as he stews in silence. Then, without warning, he shoots up from his chair, reaching to snatch the glass from Hannes' hand. You can only watch as the drunk resists, gripping the glass stubbornly until Levi yanks it free with more force than necessary. The amber liquid sloshes out, splattering across Hannes' white button-up, leaving dark stains that will definitely not wash out.

"Sober up, then we can have a mature conversation." Levi hisses, his glare burning into the drunk's hazel eyes.

Hannes lets out a frustrated huff, snatching the now-empty glass from Levi's hands before storming off from his seat through the automatic door, disappearing into another room. Shifting your gaze, you glance up at the dark-haired boy as he settles back into a seat across from you, looking surprisingly content after the outburst.

"What?"

You can't help but roll your eyes. "That went well."

"He'll come around! I'll be back," the bright-haired woman chirps, her arms swinging dramatically as she strides after Hannes, disappearing into the other room and leaving you alone with Levi.

Silence settles between you. You don't know what to say to him—not that it would matter. You're both thinking the same thing anyway. Hannes was probably right. The odds of either of you making it back home are slim, between the careers, mutts, and whatever other nightmares the gamemakers have waiting.

"Do you have anyone back home?" You break the silence, solely in an attempt to escape your thoughts, even if it's just for a moment.

"No," he says without looking at you. "You?"

You purse your lips together. "Nope."

Silence suffocates the room once more. You figure there's nothing more to talk about at this point, it's just a matter of getting through the week until the games commence. You're not exactly eager to get close to Levi. What's the point? Neither of you are making it out of the arena. And even if you did, it wouldn't be together. One of you might turn on the other. The idea sounds ridiculous, but when it comes to survival, you can't doubt the intentions of anyone.

As your eyes drift to the wooden grandfather clock by the automatic door, you can't help but wonder—is there a way out? A way out of the games, a way out of the system. But after 98 long years of their existence, you're certain the capitol has thought of everything. Every possible scenario, every desperate attempt a tribute might make to escape—it's all definitely been accounted for.

-

Later, the bright-haired woman whose name you learn is Valerie, returns alone, clearly unsuccessful in coaxing Hannes back. To pass the time, she decides to give you and Levi a tour of the train. You can't even begin to fathom how much one room might be worth, let alone the entire bullet train. When she finally shows you to your bedroom, offering some privacy, you almost gape at the sheer luxury laid out before you.

Dark wallpaper with undecorated walls surround the room, with a chandelier reflecting a beautiful dim yellow glow in the center. The bed is massive, you figure you could fit about six people on there if they squeezed together, and the decor is nothing you've seen before, rich with details you can't even name. Off to the side, you have your own luxurious bathroom with unlimited warm water, along with a huge walk-in closet, its walls lined with endless amounts of clothing. It's overwhelming, to say the least.

You find yourself shuffling toward the bed laden with silk sheets, taking a seat as the canvas of the bedframe embraces you. As you sat, you felt something in your pocket prod at you—the pin Petra gave you. Carefully, you pull it out of your pocket, examining the details. You were never sure about Petra, but you suppose that maybe after all... she was the closest thing you had to a friend.

Your fingers delicately trace the pattern of the Mockingjay on the gold pin.

It brings back memories of simpler days, sitting beneath the trees, listening to the Mockingjays sing alongside your younger sister in the forest sometime after you both lost your parents. You remember it was her favorite bird—you'd listen to her hum melodies, and they'd sing the tune right back.

Those days weren't exactly simpler. Food was always scarce. Your mother wasn't around, and your father was always too busy in the mines to help with food. You managed, but once your parents were gone, it was your responsibility to keep you and your sister alive.

And it was hard. Really hard.

Your father had taught you how to use a bow and arrow. On rare occasions, he'd sneak you past the electric fence into the forest outside District 12, strictly forbidden territory, to hunt a few squirrels for supper.

Once, you snuck out into the forest on your own without his permission. When you returned with two squirrels in hand, proud of your catch, your father was furious. You knew it was because he was scared for you and your family, worried about what could've happened if you'd been caught. You understood the risks—but you also understood the consequences of coming home empty-handed.

You stopped sneaking out into the forest, and yes—your family barely scraped by. Once it was just you and your sister, you had no other choice for your survival to go back into the woods just to eat. Sometimes, if you got extra game, you would sell or trade it at the market, and that always helped.

The winters were always harsh. So harsh.

You and your sister were lucky enough to keep living in your parents' house, but luck didn't mean much when there was hardly any food or warmth. By the time winter crept in, the rations from extra entries were nearly gone, and the thick layers of snow drove all the animals into hiding. You were only thirteen, just a kid when you had to fend for you and your sister.

That was your only job—keep yourself going so you can keep your sister alive. Yet, you managed to fail.

The winter was particularly terrible that year, you and your sister were living off just about nothing. You had no firewood, no food scraps, and no warmth—just each other. But it wasn't enough. She fell ill and you did everything you could. You tried to access medical assistance, which was practically unheard of in District 12, so you did what you could with what little you had, trying to nurse her back to health on your own.

But it wasn't enough.

One morning when the sun rose, you went to wake your sister before you planned to go beyond the prohibited fence into the forest, desperate to find any signs of game. She had been sick—terribly sick, and deep down, you knew it. When you tried to wake her, gently cupping her cheek in your cold hands—you found no signs of warmth in her skin. You felt her hands. Her arms. Her body. Everything was frozen cold.

You tried to shake her awake. But she didn't stir. She never woke.

So yes, the capitol never did anything to you, but you've seen the way they've neglected your family, children, the homeless, the starving, exploited the districts—everyone. Even the privileged among the districts, such as Petra, the mayor's daughter—were not safe from the capitol. No one was.

It's not fair.

So yes, maybe they have done something to you. Maybe it is personal.

You remember Petra's words. "Make them pay," she said. You didn't understand what she meant back then, but now you think you do. You're not sure how, but you know you want to.

You need to make them pay.

-

"Rise and shine, dear!" A jarring voice ruptures you from your slumber, forcing you to rise from your bed with a gasp—only to see the bright-haired lady... what was her name again? Oh... Valerie.

"Breakfast is getting cold!" She adds with a sing-song voice as she draws the blackout curtains open, revealing the mountains you're passing through in flashes of speed your vision simply cannot keep up with. You groan as the morning light meets your eyes, covering your vision with your arm for some relief as your senses are overloaded.

She prances out of your room, only before adding in a quick, "chop, chop!"

That was the best sleep you think you've gotten in years. Though, today is the day you arrive at the capitol, one day closer to the games. You take your time getting up, you don't really care if your food is cold—food is food. You can't complain, long story short. Finding the bathroom connected to your room, you turn on the warm faucet water and splash it onto your face, refreshing yourself before you make your way to the dining room with the others.

When the automatic door slides open, you're met with Valerie who flashes a polite smile at you whilst sipping on a fancy cup of warm coffee, along with Levi and your bright mentor, Hannes, sitting at the wooden dining table. Your presence catches Hannes' attention, and he beckons you over to the table.

You grab a pastry before sitting down with the two of them. You're not sure what it is, but it's still warm, fresh out of the oven, melting in your mouth with the first bite. Sliding into a seat across from Hannes and beside the dark-haired boy, you catch the fresh, crisp scent of clean fabric—briefly comforting—before it's quickly overpowered by the sharp, bitter sting of alcohol wafting from Hannes, making you grimace.

You scoff, gesturing at the empty glass sat in front of the blonde mentor. "Really? Starting off your day strong, I see."

He chuckles at that, shaking his head lightly. "It's not the strong stuff dear, relax."

"Levi here was the one to convince the man to lay off, be sure to thank him." Valerie chimes in from across the room, sitting in a velvet chair as she sips her coffee.

You steal a glance at the boy beside you, meeting his sharp, silver-blue eyes. He's clearly holding back a scowl, though his face doesn't seem built for anything resembling a warm expression. You guess you can't really blame him.

As you settle in your seat, you're suddenly swarmed with enormous plates of food placed in front of you from the maids. There's eggs, sausages, and even pancakes with a side of syrup. They set two glasses of juice in front of you and Levi, and you can't help but give a small nod as a thank you when they depart.

You gratefully accept the plate of food set in front of you, digging into the pancakes first. They remind you of a Christmas morning long ago, when your mother had managed to gather the ingredients for a special breakfast. These pancakes don't taste quite like hers, but it's a rare treat nonetheless. Out of the corner of your eye, you notice Levi beside you, silently forking a sausage and slicing it apart with precise movements of his knife.

As the two of you ate, Hannes couldn't help himself but watch you and Levi try and act polite before the abundance of food, because he too lived in District 12, starving like the rest of you. He knew what it was like, but he wouldn't judge the tributes that ate like it was their last meal, because likely—it was.

"So," you mumble as you chew. "You sober enough to try and actually help us out now?"

Your mentor can't help but stifle a laugh as he refills his beverage with some sort of new red colored alcohol—you have no idea what it could be. He simply ignores your question, reaching for a fabric napkin to wipe the few drops of alcohol he accidentally spilt on the table. You see an opportunity to get his attention.

If you want a shot at this, you'll have to make him realize you're serious about it.

Swiftly, your hand reaches over to Levi's table knife and you clutch it in a fist, plunging it into the napkin Hannes tried to lift. It gets pinned to the wood of the table just right between his fingers. Your mentor's eyes go wide, shock plastered across his face as if you've completely lost your mind. Beside you, Levi fights back a grin, the corner of his mouth twitching.

You hear a gasp across the dining room from Valerie, who slammed her almost-empty cup of coffee on the table beside her. "That is mahogany!"

You watch her get up and storm off to the other room. You're not even sure what that word is supposed to mean, but you realize she was talking about the wood that the table was made of.

"Well then, look at you!" Hannes raises his eyebrows, yanking his nearly punctured hand back from the table. "You killed a napkin."

With an exaggerated sigh, he pulls the knife from the wooden table, setting it neatly back with Levi's silverware. His expression shifts, growing slightly more serious. "You really wanna know how to stay alive? You get people to like you."

You don't respond, your gaze locked on his with quiet defiance. Hannes gestures to the center of the room, his patience thinning. "Stand over here. Both of you."

Reluctantly, you and Levi obey. He rises from his seat, moving to circle you and your district partner. Surprisingly, he's not stumbling like he was the day before. You guess he is in-fact a bit more sober, although it is just the beginning of the day. His eyes rake over both of you, scrutinizing every detail—your features, your posture, the tension in your muscles, examining everything visible on the surface.

"You're not entirely helpless," he mutters, rubbing his chin thoughtfully. "Once the stylists clean you up, you might even secure a few sponsors." He pauses, then smirks. "Though, you both have about as much charm as a dead rat."

You scoff, crossing your arms. "Gee, thanks."

Levi's glare sharpens, but Hannes ignores it, leaning in slightly. "Listen, if you can agree to not interfere with my drinks..." His eyes narrow, reluctantly finishing his sentence. "...I'll help you, but you have to do exactly as I say."

You raise an eyebrow at that as you feel a pair of eyes on you. You turn to Levi, exchanging a quick glance before he turns back to face Hannes. "Fine."

"So what do we need to do first?" You ask. "How can we—"

"The first thing you need to do is comply with your stylists," Hannes starts, grabbing the glass left on the mahogany table to take a swig of his red drink. "We'll be at the capitol station in a few minutes, and you'll be put in their hands. You're not going to like what the stylists do, but don't resist."

You furrow your brows together, shaking your head in confusion. "But—"

"No buts, just trust me." says Hannes. He takes his glass drink along with a new bottle of amber alcohol, treading toward the automatic door to the other room, leaving you and Levi alone.

As the door slid shut, the windows in the dining room darkened. You realized you're in the tunnels of the mountain that lead into the city of Panem, just where the capitol and all of its citizens reside. The chandeliers in the room still keep it well-lit, but it is still dark enough to assume it's night if you weren't paying attention.

Both you and Levi can't help but feel yourself drawn toward the windows, tentatively walking to them. As you watch the tunnels blur past, a sudden burst of blinding light floods your vision, forcing you to squint against the harsh glare. When your eyes finally adjust, the sight before you steals the breath from your lungs.

You're in the heart of the capitol—a bustling city with modern buildings and skyscrapers stretching as far as you can see. It's overwhelming, far more vibrant and abundant than anything you've ever seen broadcasted back home. You realize now just how much you underestimated it.

The train begins to slow, and soon you're met with the sight of the capitol's grand train station—along with swarms of people, hundreds of capitol citizens gathered outside, cheering wildly as they catch sight of you and the dark-haired boy through the window. Their outlandish outfits are a chaotic blur of colors, so bright and jarring it's almost blinding. Each shade is louder than the last, a dizzying mess of vibrance that's almost too much to take in all at once.

You shake your head, watching as the swarm of capitol citizens wave and cheer at you while the train grinds to a halt. "I can't believe they look at us like we're..."

"Animals in their zoo," Levi finishes your sentence, his stoic eyes meeting yours.

"Yeah," you breathe, fingers absentmindedly fidgeting with the small pin tucked into your skirt pocket.

Levi gives you a slight, reassuring nod, his silver-blue eyes steady on yours. "You ready?"

You can't help but feel nostalgic at those words, remembering it was just yesterday when you told Petra you were ready to leave for the reaping. You thought you were. And even this time, you're not entirely sure.

"I guess so."

───────────────────────────────────────────

next chapter (coming soon) story navigation playlist

taglist: @fleshandbonez @reivelmin @estella-novella comment and ask to be added!

[willreigns]

Melancholy

Day 13: Blue | Drabble Challenge 2024

CW: Levi x fem!reader, civilian!reader, angst (?)

A/N: Takes place in the same universe as Letters from the Other Side. Part of Drabble Challenge 2024.

Credit to @cafekitsune for the dividers!

You wonder if you’d ever get used to feeling this blue.

Although you can’t deny the happiness that your now husband brings you, part of you still misses your parents. Now that Paradis has been closed off, any hope of ever seeing them again is gone.

Perhaps you’ll be their daughter again in another life.

Levi calls out to you. You’re here but not really, and the silent tears slipping down your cheeks confirm this.

All Levi could do is hold you until the feeling passes, pressing a kiss on your temple.

“Everything will be alright.” You can only nod.

[jjkamochoso]

The Perfect Fit

Overview: Levi Ackerman begrudgingly finds himself falling in love with the Survey Corps’ seamstress. Will they be able to own up to their feelings for each other? Or is their love doomed to fail before they discover the truths of each other’s hearts? This slow burn reader insert story will be filled with angst, yearning, and a bit of mystery as we slowly unravel the truths behind Y/N’s past… and explore her and Levi’s future!

Chapter 14

Series Masterlist

Chapter 13 linked here

Chapter 15 coming soon!

Levi Ackerman x female reader

Warnings: cussing, mentions of brothels, prostitution (nothing graphic), mention of wound infection, a tad bit of creepy men (again nothing graphic)

The thought of going into the depths of the Underground was enough to make Levi’s heart pound and skin sweat, even after all these years. Everything he saw down there, everything he experienced… would he even be able to focus enough to find you, let alone save you? Should he call for reinforcements instead of taking on this task himself? He frowned to himself. There was no way Erwin or Hange could make it in time from Wall Rose. Would your family pay the ransom? After talking with Mrs. Reimann, he learned that your family had made of name for themselves through exploitation and corruption. When she had spoken about your lineage, Levi felt his fists ball up involuntarily out his anger; he wasn’t sure if it was directed at your family for their heinous acts, or at you for reaping the benefits of it as you grew up. Rationally, he knew you weren’t at fault for any of your family’s crimes—you didn’t choose who you were born to, after all—but emotionally, Levi was falling apart at the seams. Your family were the people who kept people like him, people like his mother, stuck, living in the filth of the Underground with no other options. Then again, you had never mentioned your family once in all the time he had known you. If you were proud of their misdeeds, surely you would’ve mentioned it by now, used your connections to gain something or bragged about your immense wealth. Levi then remembered your cottage you used to live in all those months ago. That certainly didn’t exude any type of richness. Hell, his first meeting with you consisted of you almost in tears over your horse, unable to afford her medical care. Come to think of it, why did you leave the city in the first place? Why did you volunteer your time and efforts, helping the very same people who your family fought to keep poor? You were friends with Erwin long before you met Levi; with all of his trips he took with you into this city, he must’ve known your background, yet he stayed by your side as a trustworthy companion. You had run from your past and found a future in the Survey Corps, just like Levi had. He took an imperceptible steadying breath. You were still the same woman he had grown fond of and that woman was in major danger. Unfortunately, he couldn’t just rush into the Underground without some sort of formulated plan. Levi addressed the older woman once more.

“Mrs. Reimann.” His voice was firm. “Will y/n’s family pay the ransom?”

She shook her head, casting her eyes down. “I spoke with them already. They didn’t care she was taken. They will give no money.”

His expression hardened. “I see.”

Right as Mrs. Reimann went to continue her trek up the stairs, the front door to the shelter burst open, slamming against the wall. Levi had his knife out and ready to strike the person, but he hesitated when he saw it was a frantic woman.

“You’re Levi, aren’t you?” the mystery woman asked between shuttering breaths, clearly having gotten there in a hurry. He didn’t answer, instead eyeing her warily.

“Who are you?” he demanded.

“Mina! Are you alright?” questioned Mrs. Reimann, hobbling down the steps. Mina gulped down some more air as Mrs. Reimann poured her a glass of water.

“You’re him, I know you are! You fit her description perfectly,” Mina continued saying to Levi. “Y/n sent me to find you. She’s injured but stable. She’s at a brothel in the Underground.”

Levi’s breath hitched in his throat as his worst nightmare was unfolding in front him but he couldn’t let his guard down at a time like this.

“How do you know y/n?” he asked accusingly.

“Her selflessness allowed me and my baby to survive when I was a prostitute. I was doing charity work of my own when I recognized her name and then her face.”

Levi turned to Mrs. Reimann who nodded.

“She’s not lying. She’s been working for me in the Underground.”

Satisfied with that answer, Levi put his knife away. “You said she was at a brothel. Which one?”

Mina told him the name and his blood froze in his veins. It couldn’t be the same one that he…?

“I’m going to get her. You two stay here.”

Mina began to protest but he shut her down immediately. “You don’t need to be involved in this any more than you already are. Don’t risk your child becoming an orphan because you want to help someone.”

His words were harsh, but she needed to hear them. He always worked better alone anyway.

Mrs. Reimann gave Levi a long hooded cloak to hide himself so no one could recognize him and copious amounts of money to cover his entry and exit from the Underground. What he really wanted was his ODM gear, especially with extra sharp blades, but that would be near impossible to bring in from above. If he got lucky, he might be able to buy some from the black market sellers below. He tucked that thought away for now and went back to task at hand, pulling the hood over his eyes and double checking his knife was easy to access.

“Are you sure this is a good idea?” Mrs. Reimann wondered, concern lacing her voice. “One person with one weapon isn’t much of a rescue party.”

“I’ve done more with less,” Levi responded, heading into the night.

As Levi made his way to the Underground entrance, he went over the plan in his head. It was extremely simple: get in and get out as quickly and quietly as possible. Take no lives needlessly, but if unavoidable, do so in a silent and hurried manner. The last thing he needed was MPs hot on his trail, even though he was itching to make quick work of the scum who dared to lay their hands on you. When he finally saw the entrance to the dirty expanse below the city, his heart rate shot up exponentially and doubting thoughts clouded his mind. Going back to the Underground meant facing all of the pain, heartache, suffering—it was too much for him to think about.

Get ahold of yourself, you idiot. You’re her only chance at leaving that shithole alive. You’ve lost too many people already; she can’t be another one.

The mental pep talk seemed to work because somehow he had already paid his entry fare and started descending down into the hellish place he used to call home. As darkness made way into the artificial illumination he hated with all his being, Levi felt a sense of dread wash over him. Never in a million years did he think he’d ever willingly step foot here again. He pulled his hood over his eyes a little further, hoping to find comfort behind the thick material. Traversing the maze-like pathways he knew all too well, he found himself getting hit with memories; some okay, some bad, many worse. He remembered flying above the rooftops with his first set of ODM gear and he thought about his initial meeting of Erwin (he could never rid himself of that disgusting feeling of dirty puddle on his cheek or the heaviness of Miche’s hand shoving him down into it). Levi kept his eyes low while he closing in on his destination, not wanting to be reminded of the other things that happened to him down in that good for nothing city: the spot where Kenny left him behind, the crude things said and done to a little boy who just wanted his deceased mother’s tea set back, his old residence where he, Isabel, and Farlan lived…

Levi clenched his fists.

Stay focused on the task at hand.

And so he did. He tried to clear his mind the best he could, no longer dwelling on the devastating past when he had something more important to worry about: saving you.

His future.

However, finding himself staring down the very same building where his mother died, and he almost did too, was leaving him feeling shell shocked. It was like all of the air had been punched from his lungs and some unseen force was choking him. No matter how hard he willed his feet to move, they wouldn’t listen, almost as if his body knew he should never reenter that building.

“First time? It’s just a brothel, boy, no need to be scared!” A hearty laugh came from a man next to Levi as he slapped a hand on Levi’s back. “They’re just women. They won’t hurt ya!” Another laugh as the man leaned in. “Unless ya want ‘em too!”

The man winked at Levi and stumbled inside the dimly lit doorway. Levi had just barely stopped himself from breaking the man’s unwelcome filthy fingers when they laid upon him but the interaction was enough to remind him of why he was here. A chill entered deep into his bones as he, too, made his way inside.

You didn’t know how much time had passed since Mina left you to get Levi. You didn’t know if she made it above ground, you didn’t know if she found Levi, you didn’t know if you were going to survive long enough to find any of that out. Your bullet wound, though shallow, had started bleeding through your gauze and the only bandage available was your makeshift gag from the two guys who kidnapped you. Unfortunately for you, you had thrown it on the mattress earlier and it had picked up all sorts of grime in the short amount of time it laid there. How could you tell? Because your wound was now extremely painful, sporting bright red streaks and seeping white discharge. You felt like you were about to puke and you couldn’t tell if it was from the infection, the mold on the ceilings, lack of food, or fear. The one thing that was going well for you was that your captors hadn’t negotiated your price with the brothel owner yet; or at least you didn’t think they had because no one had come into your room yet. You prayed to whatever higher being was listening that they would argue until Levi came to your aid. If he didn’t… you shuddered at the thought.

As if your prayers were heard and then thrown into the trash, the door to your room slammed open, the man you assumed to be the brothel owner coming in with a smile that made your skin crawl.

“Good news darlin’, you’re hired. I’ve got your first customer right here.”

Another man, with his face and body hidden under a cloak, entered the room and closed the door. You fought the urge to cry, not wanting to partake in any of this. You stayed curled up against the wall, your knees to your chest.

“Sir, I have a really nasty infection, I promise you don’t want me for the night,” you said, not looking at him. You heard his shoes clack against the floor as he approached you and you wiped away stray tears.

“Please, I’m begging you, don’t touch m-”

“Y/n.”

You raised your head at neck break speed. You knew that voice better than your own.

“Levi?” you whispered. He took off his hood, baring his gray eyes you hadn’t seen for but only a few hours yet felt like millennia. He stretched out his hand to help you up and you gladly took it, trying not to sob of happiness. You had been here far too long, gone through far too much, and you were ready to leave the Underground and even Wall Sina as a whole, forever. When you stood on your injured leg, you muffled a cry of pain into your arm, not wanting to sound suspicious to anyone who might be listening in.

“Are you hurt anywhere else?” Levi’s soft but commanding voice questioned. You shook your head.

“Good.” He had a haunted look in his eye ever since he saw you curled up on the ground, but you didn’t question it, instead letting him continue. “Can you run?”

“I don’t think so.”

“Walk?”

“Maybe.”

“Tch. That’ll have to work.” He took a step toward you that almost fully closed the gap between your two bodies, his face showing a pained expression before twisting into something more resolute. “I failed you earlier. I won’t fail you again. I’m getting you out of here.”

You mustered up a brave smile. “I trust you, Levi. Always have, always will.”

He looked like he wanted to say something else, but he hesitated before saying exactly what you were thinking.

“Let’s get the fuck out of here.”

Chapter 15 coming soon!

Taglist: @blueeclipsepaperstudent @raginginferno267 @come-away-with-me87

[hotcheetogirlluver]

can you please do one where reader can be stoic and emotionless like she's a tsundere (she's hard and rough on the outside but once you get to know her her sweeter bubbly side shows later on) and Levi has the fastest crush on her. her trauma she went through when she was younger makes her oblivious to when people genuinely have a crush on her because she oversees that. she shows her soft side as she befriends him and him being nervous around her hurts her feelings really badly. she just breaks and returns to being expressionless, rough, and quiet. Levi starts to feel guilty when she doesn't smile at him anymore or when she ignores him and doesn't speak to him. her friends are pretty worried blah, blah, blah. finally he apologizes after weeks of not speaking but she's fighting it because of her insecurities and trauma. LOTS OF ANGST I BEG YOU 😭😭😭!! and ofc fluff at the end 🤧🥺💗 (sorry it's super long have a beautiful day and I hope you can make this!)

A/N: ofc!!! i love this idea POOKS! Im a sucker for angst too honestly 😭😭. but I will gladly do this story and just a warning it is very long. ENJOY, THOUGH!!💓

Summary: Levi has a huge crush on (Y/n). She's completely oblivious, and sees his 'flirting' as cruelly bullying her. One day she's in his office casually talking to him and since he gets awkward with her because of the fat crush he has, he hurts her feelings in a way no one has ever hurt her.

WARNINGS ⚠️ : swear words, talks of disorders, talks of molestation and uses word rape

s/t: skin tone

h/c: hair color

y/n: your name

e/c: eye color

-!!ANGST!! FLUFF!!-

__________________________________________________________

Levi looked over at (Y/n). She was speaking with some cadets, giving them tips on fighting and dueling and such. Dressed in her usual black cloak with a hood over her head.

His usual stoic face looking over his shoulder to stare at her. If only she didn't wear that stupid cloak every single day and maybe it would be easier to catch a glance at her face.

The cadets looked like they respected her.. Listening in closely and trying to focus on every single word she was saying to them.

“Captain Levi?” A male voice made him turn around and stare the person down who just caught his attention.

“What is it?” His voice dripping in slight annoyance made Eren sweat nervously.

“You looked sort of a trance there! Just making sure you're still alive, sir!” Levi's glare only hardened and Eren slowly stepped away from him.

“Go spar with Armin. You both need the practice. You must be bored if you came over here just to bother me.” Eren nodded rapidly.

“Right away, Captain!” He took off and Levi looked back at (Y/n).

“You're doing it completely wrong, cadet. Straighten your stance as if you're prepared to fight someone right now.” She was way more sweeter than he was. Recently she's started to show her soft side and it always sent a warm shot through his heart.

Of course he would never show it, his usual unimpressed mask on at all times. He watched as Sasha corrected her fighting stance.

“Like this (Y/n)?” (Y/n) nodded with a cute smile and sent her a thumbs up.

“Way better!” She praised with a small clapping of her hands.

“Can we eat now?! I’m dying to eat I haven't eaten in like 30 minutes! When's the next break?? I'm literally starving to death-” A strong kick was directed to Sasha’s stomach, sending her to the ground roughly.

“OW-” Sasha rubbed her stomach in pain. “You have no concept of the idea of starvation, cadet.” (Y/n) set her hands on her hips.

“Let alone starving to death.”

Levi couldn't help but just watch the scene unfolding in front of him.

… Well that took a different turn. His stoic face, trying to contain the curiosity flowing through his veins at the moment.

… Why the sudden change of attitude? She was sweet and turned bitter in a second's notice. His head tilted upward a bit. His bangs almost hitting his eyes, barely brushing against his eyelashes.

“10 laps, Sasha.”

“B-But Captain!-”

“20 laps.” Sasha groaned internally and got up as (Y/n) eyed her.

“You'd think a lady that small would be more laid back.” Eren muttered watching from afar as well behind Levi.

“Well weight doesn't necessarily matter in the Survey Corps, Eren. It's mainly all about the soldier's intelligence and strength. Just look at you and me. Plus, usually the smaller ones are more aggressive.”

Levi's eyes immediately looked to the side, and his body turned to look at Eren and Armin.

“You two! Go join cadet Sasha on her 20 lap jog.” The two boys looked at each other with shocked facial expressions and Eren sighed heavily.

“If I were you Eren, I'd save my breath for the laps. And word of advice, try not to whisper so loud next time you're talking about someone important.”

“WHAT?! Someone important? Captain Levi, it's all so clear now! You have a big crush on Captain-”

“30 laps.” Levi turned away from Eren and Armin, as the pink flush was beginning to settle on his pale cheeks.

His hard gaze was set on her once again as he turned. Eren shook his head annoyed but still was too intimidated by Levi to not jog the 30 laps.

“The smaller ones really are the most aggressive-”

“Eren stop talking!” Armin cut him off as they began jogging to the field.

(Y/n) wiped some sweat from her forehead.

‘Maybe it wouldn't be so bad to lose the black cloak.’ She began to slip it over her head and threw it on the grass. Levi kept his face as emotionless as he could with the sight in front of him.

She shook her head around a bit trying to let her scalp breath. Her hair was really thin/thick, short/long, wavy/curly/straight. Her skin a s/t, really glowing in the sunlight. Her hair a beautiful h/c. And then there was her eyes..

Shit.

Her eyes were fucking gorgeous.

The color red set on the tips of Levi's ears, watching her being so effortlessly beautiful. He tried pushing the new fluttering feeling he felt to the very bottom pit of his stomach.

Her eyes were big e/c eyes, with dark eyelashes. Long eyelashes.

Fuck.. he's simping.

That's disgusting and shameful. He tried to snap out of it. But..

Suddenly she turned her gaze to him. A small smile on her lips.(Y/n) walked over to him, her heeled boots, she always wore giving her the smallest bit of height.

“Levi!” Her hands were behind her back as she gave him a wider, sweeter smile. Oh no.. was she walking towards him? At least give him some time to think about what he should say?!

“I haven't seen you in a while it's felt like! I've been busy with those stupid non-stop expeditions though. I feel like I would see you more often if you come out of your office more. Not like once every blue moon,” Her head tilted to the side wearing a bright smile on her face. Which was rare.

“Y’know?” She's right. Levi’s been in his office doing paperwork and signing and reading information from all sorts of documents. It's energy draining going through paper after paper and still never meeting an end.

Sometimes very rarely when he would actually leave his office and would see her walking in the castle halls it made his day a tad more bearable to deal with.

But to him it was somewhat a good thing being locked in his office day and night. Recently he's noticed he's starting to hold feelings towards the h/c. Deep feelings. To the point where he gets awkward and nervous fast if she's even around him.

He's been practicing on handling that calmly and coolly though.

“Y-Yeah. Haven't seen you in a while either.”

…… Wow. Just wow Ackerman.

… He wished he could stab himself with the swords he uses to kill Titans with. Seriously Ackerman?! That was painful. Embarrassing. You should walk away now. And leaving this world and existence would probably be for the better too.

(Y/n) scanned Levi's face intensely as his eyes avoided hers.

“Levi, are you okay?” She put a hand on her chin and the other hand set on her hip as she leaned to the side to meet his eyes.

“Fine.” He responded dryly.

Hm.. What's going on with him? He looks.. nervous? Levi? Nervous? Maybe she was getting this wrong. She was terrible at reading people. She always was.

“You took off your cloak.” Levi suddenly said with an awkward cough, and looked at her hair. (Y/n) pushed some hair behind her ear and nodded with a smile. Those rare smiles made Levi’s heart beat against his ribs.

“About time right? It's been so cruelly hot outside these past couple days.” She waved a hand in front of her face jokingly.

“Y-Your hair..”

“My hair?”

“It's not as shitty as I thought it'd look.” Levi said non chanantly.

“Oh.”

“Do you even brush your hair though? It looks messy as hell. Don't have enough time on your hands to brush your hair or something?"

… Ouch. A knife sliced her heart and she just blinked before laughing small, quiet and uncomfortably. Well that definitely stung.

“Well, actually I brush my hair each morning and night before I fall asleep. It's a daily routine I don't intend to skip out on at all.” (Y/n) ran a hand through her hair consciously with an awkward smile on her face replacing the bright one from earlier.

“Is that so?” He replied unamused.

“Mhm!” She nodded her head before turning her head to the side with a light pink tint color covering her cheeks in embarrassment.

“Anyways Captain! I'm going to head back to my office. It.. It was nice seeing you! Mind telling Sasha she’s allowed to take a break when she’s finished with her 20 laps?” (Y/n) turned around not letting Levi respond and walked over to her cloak on the ground throwing it over her head before leaving the training grounds.

His once fast heartbeat slowed down to the normal speed. ‘What the fuck, idiot.’ He told himself. Why did he say that? Why did he say that??

“ ‘It's not as shitty as I thought it'd look.’ ” He mocked himself in a harsh whisper.

“You idiot, why in the world would you say that to her? You made her uncomfortable you fucking dumbass. That's why she was in such a hurry to leave you.” Levi tried to forget about the encounter with (Y/n) he just had, feeling tormented with guilt enough as it is.

‘Just stop being so nervous around her Levi.’ He ran a hand through his under shave.

_________________________________________________________

Meanwhile (Y/n) pulled the cloak's hood closer to her head as she tried to calm her racing heart and her heavy breathing.

Levi thinks her hair is messy.

And he thinks she doesn't brush it? Does he see it as disgusting? Looked like it.

(Y/n) stared at the stone floors as her heeled boots clicked against them. Which means everyone who was at the training grounds earlier saw her hair as disgusting too then.

She closed her eyes for a second and shook her head. Get it together (Y/n). It's fine.

… But what if it isn't? This reminded her of back then..

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Two grown men held onto (Y/n) wrists on either side of her pretty tightly. It felt like they were cutting her circulation off. She was 6 years old at the time.

Her mother sold her to some sketchy group from the Underground to get some money and to keep her house. (Y/n) had several bruises on her arms and face.

Those cruel bastards. She looked up at the tall man in front of her, with wide eyes.

“This rats nest of hair you got here is fucking gross. It looks like shit. You need to become extra beautiful, gorgeous.” He smirked with a sinister look in his eyes.

He held out a knife and suddenly just cut off half her hair. Her eyes widened more.

W-What? Why did he do that? Why did her mom even sell her to these men? They've hurt her, said horrible things to her, and now this? What's going on?? What are they going to do to her? She trembled in fear, heart about to leap out of her chest as she watched her long locks of hair fall to the dirty ground.

“Perfect, gorgeous.” The man brushed his hand through her hair with that creepy smirk still on his face. Then he nodded at both of the men who were holding her wrists tightly.

“W-Wait! Sir! What are you going to do to me?” He only darkly chuckled and waved a hand to a room.

“You’ll see in a second.” He kicked his lips and tilted the hat he was wearing down some more. The two men at her sides started dragging her to the room.

“W-Wait! Stop! P-Please, let me go! Stop i-it!” (Y/n) kicked her feet and struggled against the tight grip they had on her.

“Sir!”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

(Y/n) stared down at her hands. She tried to shake away the memories she just thought of. Truth is.. She wasn't ever raped in the Underground. But… She was molested. And it definitely wasn't just once.

Those disgusting men down there.. Made some part of her life hell. A huge part of her life hell.

Those memories never leave you.

They stick with you.

And (Y/n) still got shivers thinking about it.

‘It's different.’ She told herself. It was the main reason she was insecure, about everything. All of those people from that sketchy group all those years ago.. They caused her pain and misery.

Trauma.

Why does she always wear a cloak? To cover her body from society's eyes. Feeling like she’s fat half the time and feeling like people don't like the sight of fat women. Resulting in not eating for weeks sometimes. Why does she wear a hood? To cover her face and hair. Her hair being “messy” and her face not complimenting her body.

Her hair always made her question her looks. But then again she always questioned her looks. Because of them. Like.. Why does everybody stare at her that way? Why are they looking at her? What's wrong with her?

She clenched her shirt near her heart.

Of course Levi doesn't like her. How could he? He's Humanities Strongest. (Y/n) thought she and Levi were getting close. And then all of a sudden he can't even look her in the eye and he seems more.. nervous around her. But like she said earlier, that word doesn't quite fit him.

They were both distant.

She wasn't going to lie though, at first it was hard to become friends with him. Or anybody really. She’s really antisocial and she too has a stoic, expressionless, mask on at all times. That's how she is with people she doesn't know. And when she didn't have friends.

She didn't mind though. That's how it had been her whole life. She's probably only had 1 friend from her younger years. She can't remember clearly though. When she first joined the Survey Corps no one would talk to her. She understood somewhat though. She did look a little sketchy wearing her black cloak everyday with a literal impassive look on her face all the time.

Made matters worse when she refused to remove her hood.

But when Hange Zoë sat with her one day in the mess hall, (while she stared at her food plainly not planning on eating it) and invited her to sit at their table she stared blankly at her for the longest minute (making Hange sweat drop) but accepted.

But she thought her and Levi were getting close. The awkward short talks turned to long conversations about small things. Both of their emotionless faces, cracked a smile or two when around each other.

She even discovered that way, her crush on him.

(Y/n) enjoyed his presence. She thought he was a good leader, really independent and honestly.. funny.

Maybe it's one sided love though.

Maybe she's just blinded by her stupid crush on him.

Recently he's been really.. mean towards her. He's been insulting her every time she sees him. And it's sort of been a good thing she hasn't seen him in weeks because he's been trapped in his office doing mile high paperwork.

It hurts her heart every time he says something harsh to her. She never says anything back though. But next time maybe she will. He's been hurting her self esteem and bringing back unfondly memories she would rather not think about. She has to stand up to him for once.

Usually she is really blunt. And really, really honest. But with Levi and her friends her soft side is brought out. (Y/n) nodded mentally, realizing her heartbeat slowed down and her heavy breathing calmed down.

She took one last deep breath, before walking to her office for the afternoon. She, too, needs to finish paperwork.

________________________________________________________

Levi sat at his desk. His eyes scanned the writing on the documents he was reading. He was a fast reader.

But he hated every time he would read through essays of information for the Survey Corps, because most of the time it reminded him of the Underground.

Where he didn't even know how to read until later on in his life.

He rubbed a hand on his forehead. Why was he thinking about that now?

He has work to do. It's better if he just finished it all sooner than later.

In Levi’s office it was silent.

His office was a very serene room. He preferred it that way though. It helped him focus more, and if it was placed next to a loud room he would probably kill the neighbor right next to him. He sighed, feeling the smallest amount of loneliness for the past few weeks. Sometimes it was somewhat depressing being so isolated. And feeling so isolated too.

He shook his head.Focus Levi. You're getting off topic.

When he was about to start reading again he heard 2 knocks on his door. He straightened himself out, organized the papers as quickly as he could, and calmed his facial features down.

“State your name and business.” He called.

“It's (Y/n). Mind if I come in, Levi?” Levi’s eyes widened ever so slightly as his pulse skyrocketed.

‘Calm down Levi. Act natural.’

“C-Come in.” He cursed himself as soon as the stutter left his lips.

‘Stop acting so nervous! Your Humanity's Strongest, this is embarrassing.’ (Y/n) brushed off Levi’s stutter, and opened his office door as she walked in with a plate of food.

“What do you need, Captain (Y/n)?”

The awkwardness soon left her features when she heard that. A laugh escaped her lips, as she continued to walk towards him.

“Why are you acting so formal all of a sudden Levi? You know we’ve talked before like friends, not colleagues, right?” She let out a small giggle and a charming smile as she set the plate down on his desk.

“Oh, r-right. Of course.” His cheeks quickly were dusted with a warm pale pink as he coughed an awkward cough to cover up his second noticeable stutter.

“What is this?” He asked unexpressively. He looked down at the plate of food.

“What? Never seen a plate of food before or something? Or has it really been that long since you’ve eaten, Levi?” She sat down in the chair in front of him with a soft sigh.

“I mean come on isn't it obvious?” ‘Isn't it obvious I'm a bit worried for you, you cruel jerk?’ She played with the ends of her cloak in her hands.

Levi knew what a plate of food was. He just hadn't eaten the whole day. He trained the cadets in the morning, and in the afternoon he was locked in his office again. And now it's dinner.. and he's still in his office.

“I haven't seen you eat the whole day. I'm..” Blood traveled to her face as her cheeks began to flush.

“You need to eat Levi. Taking a small break from all this pile of work isn't going to hurt you.” (Y/n) smiled gently and Levi could feel his stomach doing backflips. Or.. it could just be the hunger taking its toll on him.

He felt incredibly grateful he even had someone like (Y/n) in his life. Why did she care for him? Why was she so bubbly towards him? Why did she let her mask fall, after only a couple of conversations in his office?

He never knew how to talk to women correctly though. He didn't know the ‘correct’ way. Did he ever thank them appropriately? He thought he did.

Thing is, he never knows when he truly fucks up.

“Funny thing you're telling me to eat Captain (Y/n), when you don't even eat for weeks yourself.”

“... What?” Her heart dropped.

Another stab to her wounded heart. Her walls were down and everything and he just attacked so easily? She was feeling vulnerable with him and thought this one time there would be no hurtful words directed at her.

… Guess she was wrong.

“I think it's amusing that you're telling me to eat when you don't know how to do that yourself.” Levi rested his elbows on his desk, connecting his hands.

Suddenly a burning flame crawled up her neck as her cheeks burned with embarrassment. Snap out of it, idiot.

“Really, Levi?” She narrowed her eyes, as the humiliation settled in and made her want to sink. Even if it was just the two of them in the office she couldn't help but feel humiliated.

“You don't eat for weeks sometimes. That must be another reason you wear that cloak.” He muttered and eyed her fit. Her eyes widened, and she felt her heart quicken its beat.

What the actual hell?

“You asshole,” (Y/n) whispered harshly.

Levi’s first instinct was to retort back but seeing her fists clenched made him slightly confused. Is she upset?

“Why would you care, if you hate me so much?”

Hate her? Shit. Levi mentally panicked. ‘No, no, no I don't hate you, I could never hate you (Y/n)! Did I mess up? I haven't said anything too bad right?’ Levi ignored the thoughts pouring into his subconscious.

“It's my place to know if you're getting weak and sloppy on expeditions with my squad. You’ve been disorganized on recent expeditions with other squads too. You're supposed to be strong as a Captain. You can't just get weak all of a sudden because of a pointless insecurity to have.” (Y/n) stood up from her seat abruptly.

“Are you fucking serious Levi?! I didn't work my ass off my whole life to just get picked on by the likes of you! You think you have the right to tell me I've gotten weak and to tell me my insecurity is useless?! Why won't you just leave me the fuck alone!” Tears threatened to pour out of her eyes. Her yelling clearly didn't get to him though.

Which pissed her off even more.

She put her shaking hand on her chest and clenched the fabric near her heart.

“Do you think you're so high and almighty just because you're ‘Humanity's Strongest’? Why do you think you can talk about why I wear this cloak so freely? Is your new goal to just break me down as a person and to make me feel even more horrible than I already feel?!” Levi’s eyes widened the slightest. The feeling of guilt catching up with him once again.

He didn't mean those things. He could never mean those things. He just didn't know how to respond when he's near her.

“It's only recently you’ve decided on putting me down! Why?.. Did all those late night talks we both had together mean nothing to you?!”

.. She was met with silence.

(Y/n) shook her head aggressively.

“SAY SOMETHING ACKERMAN!” She slammed a fist down on his desk. His slightly widened eyes, returned to his eyes that looked like they could care less. The unfazed look returned to his features.

“Is that all you know how to do? Yell? Are you slow or something? You should just retire as a Captain, you're childish. You're being overly dramatic about this situation. I couldn't care less about why you wear that cloak. I already understand why. It must be tough hiding all that hair you feel so ashamed of.” Levi kept his voice at the same volume the whole time he spoke.

He felt regret at his choice of words.

‘Stop fucking talking Levi. You're going to lose her. Just stop talking you dumbass!’

Suddenly (Y/n) threw off her cloak. Revealing her body and hair once again. It felt like Levi ignored the image of her body earlier. She looks really thin. Unhealthy thin. His eyebrows furrowed.

“I wear that cloak because of people like you!” Levi looked taken aback.

People like him?

“Judgemental dumbasses like you who can't be nice once for the likes of them!” Wait.. is she.. Did.. Did he make her cry? Is she crying? Tears finally sprung free from her eyes and rolled down (Y/n)’s cheeks as her bottom lip started to quiver. She never cried. Ever. And he's never seen her cry.

“I.. I try so hard for you, Levi! A-And all you see in me is my worst, obviously. I-I love you so much it actually hurts!” A sob escaped her lips and Levi felt blood rush to his face.

She loves him?!

Oh no what the fuck does he do?! Confess?! After everything he just said?? Guilt ran through his bloodstream and he felt his chest tighten.

“.... Why do you hate me? Am I that bad of a person? O-Or just.. ugly?”

‘No! Of course you're not ugly. Your fucking beautiful. The most gorgeous of them all! Levi fucking speak! Say something nice for once you asshole! Confess to her!’ Levi felt himself pause. His heart beating against his ribs. It hurt. The confession was about to slip out of his mouth. Almost..

“Tch. You're clumsy. Careless. And you lack skill.” Her breath got caught in her throat and she felt herself freeze.

Is it possible to feel your heart physically break? Because it felt like for her he smashed it with a hammer, stepped on it with his clean boots, and lit it on fire with a torch.

“And it's not my fault you're anorexic. Anything else Captain (Y/n)?”

She stared ahead.

With widened eyes. Pupils shaking. Her lips slightly parted. Tears still slipping from her eyes. Her stunning eyes. She stood there like that for a moment. A very long moment.

“Nothing..” Her whisper was in a hush. She didn't blink at all as she directed her attention to the floor, turning around.

“Keep the cloak..” She said quietly as she continued walking. Levi’s eyes following her figure. Fuck.

He messed up big time.

The door to his office closing in a slam awoke his senses and brought him back to reality. He ran a hand through his hair. No, no, no.

Why did he say that to her? Why is he such a dick? How could he even look at her again? How could he say that? He shook his head and shut his eyes tightly. Feeling exhaustion weigh down on his shoulders.

He clenched his fists and threw off all the papers from his desk onto the floor. His teeth gritted. He's such a fucking idiot!

Why the fuck did he say that?!? His chest heaved up and down and suddenly his gaze turned to the plate of food she brought him. His heart sank.

“I'm so sorry..” Levi muttered, staring at the food.

Then he looked at the cloak on his polished floors. He walked to it, with heavy eyes. Picking it up, and rubbing the fabric with his thumbs. His knees rested on the floor, as he continued to stare at it.

“I’m sorry..” He closed his eyes tightly, feeling moisture build up in his eyes. He pulled it to his chest, and leaned his upper body down.

“I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry..” He muttered over and over again.

The torturous guilt and regret eating him alive.

________________________________________________________

It’s been weeks since Levi and (Y/n) had spoken.

Weeks.

Eyebags lived beneath his eyes, and he felt more tired than he's ever been in his entire life. Erwin was starting to grow concerned for Levi. He knew what happened between him and (Y/n) because Levi told him and Hange.

They tried to break it down as blunt as they could with Levi. Yeah.. The whole thing was practically his fault. Hange freaked out when he told the both of them.

“HUH??! YOU ACTUALLY TOLD HER THAT, LEVI?? (Y/N), MY POOR BABY!” Hange gripped Levi’s shoulders and swung him back and forth while he just let her do that. Erwin tried calming down Hange, it looked like they were about to cry. And kill Levi at the same time. Once Hange had calmed down they sat down on their seat again.

“But seriously Levi? You actually told her that? That's absolutely heartless. You make me want to cry with what you said to her!” Erwin nodded his head at Hange’s words.

“Levi, sounds like all of the things you said to her were unnecessary. She just seemed like she was worried about you.” Levi sighed restlessly. He nodded his head and stared at the ground, remembering her heartbroken face.

“You pushed her away from you, Captain Shortie!”

“I know.. I just don't know how to talk to her.. it should be easy. She told me she loves me.. and I.. I love her. So why was it so hard and why did I have to mess it all up? I don't deserve her… I never did.” Levi felt so ashamed even bringing that encounter back up.

Hange and Erwin looked at each other. They’ve never seen Levi so.. distraught before. He always has this emotionless face on. Seeing him act human for once made Hange and Erwin feel bad about the situation. But there was nothing the both of them could do about it.

Levi sat in his office shaking away the memory of telling Hange and Erwin about that day.

He just wished (Y/n) would smile at him again. For weeks he's been trying to talk to her. Telling the cadets to tell her to report to his office.

She never showed up though.

Figures.

He broke her.

For weeks he's been trying to think of ideas on how he could see her again without her ignoring his whole person. He doesn't blame her.

But it was frustrating.

He knows he doesn't have the right to be frustrated after everything he said to her, but he just feels frustrated.

Maybe not at her. At himself.

For even saying those words to her. For making her cry.

Levi pulled at his hair.

'Just apologize you big pussy.'

Levi shook his head and drank some of his black tea. As soon as it made its way down his throat he gulped it all. Finishing all his tea in mere seconds.He stood up as soon as he finished it.

That's it.

Today was the day where he apologized to her after weeks of not talking. He needs to tell her he fucked up big time and he's aware. He needs to find her first. To tell her all things that have been making his heart feel heavy.

(Y/n) was cleaning the horse stables. She didn't want to tell her squad to do it. She just didn't want to talk to anyone. Any human that crossed her path she just straight out ignored them and didn't look at them at all. She held a blank facial expression.

The hurt Levi caused her heart to feel was unbearable. All the pain he caused her to feel, mentally, was it even humanly? Could humans even feel this amount of pain?

She felt like dying honestly.

Or just running away from the Survey Corps. But she knew the penalty was execution.

Life wasn't that easy.

If life was easy maybe Levi wouldn't have been such an ass to her and made her feel like she truly amounts to nothing.

Did he see her as some pathetic, weak human being? Because she doesn't eat? She tries too. She really does. But every time she does, it makes her feel nauseous. It looks sickening.

When she was sold to the men from the Underground, they starved her. To keep her ‘beautiful’ body. That's why she's sensitive to the subject of starvation. As you could tell from when she kicked Sasha for saying she was “literally starving”.

Why was she even thinking about Levi still? He doesn't love her. He doesn't care about her.

He's.. just a jerk.

She felt a tear slip down her eye. She recalled the memory of her morning after that day.

At breakfast Hange, Eren, Mikasa, and Armin were all talking amongst each other. Then they looked up at her, seeing her without her cloak. She sort of regretted leaving it in Levi’s office. But it was too late to receive it anyways. Then they smiled and waved at her, acting friendly. Her blank face didn't waver as she looked away from them and walked past the table. Not planning on eating.

All of their smiles disappeared as they watched her walk off.

“What's wrong with her?” Eren asked the table.

“I have no idea.” Mikasa’s usually bored eyes were filled with some concern.

“Is she okay? She didn't look too good right now.” Armin looked at Hange since Hange was the closest to (Y/n).

“I'm not sure. I haven't seen her since yesterday when she left mid dinner. Maybe she ate in her office? She had a plate of food with her.” Eren shrugged and they all thought to themselves.

She flat out ignored her friends and Levi for the past few weeks. She just didn't want to be around people at the moment. And once Hange found out, they completely understood.

(Y/n) shoveled the horse shit, almost making her want to puke. But she tried to remain expressionless. She had no clue Levi was looking for her in that moment of time.

He already checked her office. Knocked on her room door which was open, and her bed was untouched. If looked like she hadn't slept on there for a long time, causing his guilt to rise. He asked all of her friends if they've seen her. To which they responded with, "We haven't talked to her in a while actually." Which made him feel worse. But he shook it off, focusing on finding her. He even asked Erwin if she's been assigned to an expedition with her squad. He said, "No." which made Levi relieved as he continued to check the whole castle. He even went to the training grounds. She wasn't there.

Where the fuck is she? Hasn't he checked everywhere?

.. No. Not everywhere. He walked down to the horse stables, and checked stall after stall. And finally he saw her shoveling horse shit with her beautiful stunning self.

He didn't even realize her name slipped past his lips until she turned to him.She looked beautiful. But still thin. Really thin. Although she held a blank face as she stared at him.

The twinkle that was in her eyes, disappeared.

He was looking past the sort of horrific look she was giving him though. Calling it her “blank” face. She felt paralyzed as she just stood there.

“Captain.” She finally muttered out.She never called him Captain. It was always Levi. Always Levi.

“... (Y/n).” He repeated at a loss for words.

‘No, don't chicken out now you bitch. Just tell her what's been on your mind.’ Levi sucked in a breath before walking towards her. She just stared at him, and finally broke out of the paralyzed state she was just in. She took a couple of steps back, her back hitting the wall as she dropped the shovel full of horse poop.Her eyebrows furrowed as he walked towards her.

“Stay away from me.” She told him in a cold tone.He halted and stood where he was. Losing confidence for a second, and feeling guilty as hell. But the longer he stared at her the longer he felt bad and had to say something.

“I’m..” What the hell. Speak Levi! Speak!

“I’m..”

“You're wasting your time if you're trying to apologize.” (Y/n) picked up the shovel she dropped on the ground.

“Why are you doing stable duty?” He forced out.

Ugh. Pussy.

“Because I'm too sloppy, and weak with everything else. I lack skill.” She responded with a small scoff. Levi glanced to his side, hurt flashed in his eyes but he tried to make it disappear just as quickly as it came.

“I'm sorry..” He said clearly, with no hesitation or stutter in his voice this time.

She raised her chin up at this. “Sure.”

“I am, okay? I’m sorry for everything I said to you. It was unnecessary and I just..” Levi’s heartbeat started to race again.

“I'm a dick. And I hurt you. Badly. I said some things I can't take back but they were all a lie. I don't think your insecurities are pointless and I don't think you're a weak soldier. You're one of the strongest Captains here at Survey Corps.” She looked unimpressed with his words.

“I’m not falling for this, Ackerman. Okay? Now will you just leave and let me finish this?” Her glare directed at him made him hate himself.

“(Y/n)-”

“Will you go away? I’ve made it clear I obviously don't want to have this discussion with you.” She snapped.

“God damn it (Y/n)! Will you just let me apologize to you?!” He was about to walk towards her again but she didn't allow it.

“Why?! Why do you want to apologize after 1 ½ months, Levi?!” Her eyebrows were furrowed and her teeth were gritted as she shook her head before even realizing what she just said.

Levi stared at her. She had that broken look on her face again, as she sighed softly. Her eyes looked so sad.

Way to go Ackerman, you dumbass.

“You don't like me. And I..” she blinked back her tears that were building up.

“I loved you..” She said in a whisper. Loved?.. No.

“I’ve never hated you (Y/n).” She looked at him, not believing what he was saying.

“I have always..” His heartbeat sped up. His cheeks warming up and being dusted with blush.

“I love you, (Y/n).” Her eyes widened as she slowly turned her head to Levi.

He had eyebags under his eyes. His skin looked paler than it usually did. And.. he had this pleading look in his eyes.

What happened to him? Was he just as broken as her?.. but how? He looked like he didn't even care when he ripped her heart out and stopped on it with ease.

But she just broke eye contact instead of believing him. That's what they all say. ‘Sorry’ to make it better. But they don't really mean it. Is a bandage immediately going to heal you? It's not. So it's best not to sugarcoat it.

“Tch, you're lying to yourself.”

Levi stepped back, his frustration building up.

“I hate liars.”

“Then if you really love me, why did you tell me all those things in your office that day?” (Y/n) glared.

“I just brought you food, you ass.” She looked away, feeling those stupid crocodile tears build up again.

He let out a sigh and turned his head away from her.

“(Y/n) I really didn't mean any of that stupid shit I spoke. I just..” He sucked in a breath, as the awkwardness got to him finally.

“I get awkward and.. fuck, this sounds stupid-.. n-nervous around you. Which is why I've been so mean to you lately, and why I can't even look y-you in the eye when you're around me or why I have this stupid ass stutter!” He slapped a hand over his face and turned his whole body away from her, his cheeks turning to the color of a tomato this time.

(Y/n)’s furrowed brows relaxed when she started running everything he said through her brain. That explains why he stutters around her and why he does act nervous every time she even breathes near him. She gasped quietly, and her eyes softened.

Does he really have feelings for her? Real ones?

So all the things he said.. Did he really not mean it? But wait.. if he did like her or.. ‘love’ her like he says he does, why did he even say all those cruel things to begin with? Like from the very beginning?

“Levi.” He turned his head to look at her.

“(Y/n).”

“Why were you even mean to begin with if you really do like me? Everything you said.. it's.. not going to go away so easily. You said it all so easily though. I'm just.. confused.” Levi glanced down hesitant, and then walked toward her, this time she didn't say anything.

Once he stood in front of her, he slowly grabbed her hands. (Y/n)’s eyebrows raised slightly.

‘I thought he hated physical interaction.’

“I say this with full honesty, (Y/n). I have no idea how to talk to you normally. Not so long ago, when you would talk to me I didn't know how to respond at all. That's where the stutter comes in. And I’ve never been attracted to anyone like I am with you. It's hard to say, brat.” He looked up. She just stared at him.

“All the random insults poured out of my mouth every time I saw you because I get awkward and I think that's ‘flirting’.” She looked down, feeling his thumbs start to rub circles on her hands.

“I'm sorry for everything I've said. I didn't mean any of it, I was talking out of my ass. Your body is beautiful and so are you.. I-I can't even explain how much I..” Levi’s eyes met with hers as he trailed off. He lost his train of thoughts. How couldn't he?

When she staring at him with those fucking pretty eyes. (Y/n) blinked causing him to snap out of it. He cleared his throat and his eyes sort of.. softened.

“How much I love you.”

“Levi..” That sparkle in her eye shining brighter than ever. Her cheeks turned crimson.

“I understand if you don't want to be with me. But I promise if you do, I won't ever disappoint you or make you cry like I've done so many times.” Levi’s heart thumped and since it was so quiet in the night, the only thing to be heard was the sounds of nature, the wind and his heart beating out of his chest.

“I'll make sure you start eating again. Every single day.” He hesitantly lifted one of her hands and placed a light kiss on her knuckle.

“I just.. I don't want to get hurt again.” (Y/n) whispered, her eyes not meeting his.

“I promise I'll never hurt you like this ever again.” She looked up.

“Promise?” He smiled softly, making her heart flutter. She's never seen Levi smile.

“I promise.” The longer he stared at her, his attention moved down to her lips. Her heart beating faster than a rabbits at this point, her breath was caught at the back of her throat. Levi glanced at her eyes, then her lips. Then he lifted a hand to her chin. Tilting her head as he slowly leaned in.

‘Levi?’ She thought in her brain.

Just as his lips brushed against hers she relaxed. (Y/n) closed her eyes, and leaned in, placing her lips onto his soft ones. As their lips connected, (Y/n) wrapped her arms around his neck as he pulled her closer to him with his other arm.

The kiss was sweet. Levi felt like someone lit a bonfire inside of him, his neck and face heating up immediately. (Y/n) could almost feel her heart beating in her throat. She felt like she couldn't breathe the longer her and Levi kissed.

Finally he broke his lips apart from hers.

A small blush on his facial features as he smiled genuinely.

“I'll help you clean up this shit, so we can leave sooner. It smells like ass in here.” (Y/n) nodded, letting out a small laugh. One of her rare laughs.

As she went to pick up the shovel she turned around to look back at Levi.

“Levi?” He turned to her.

“(Y/n)?”

“.. I love you.” Love filled his eyes as shyness filled his thoughts causing him to halt for a second.

“I love you, too.”

a/n: I hope you enjoyed that story!! please requests more! ❣️:)

[starksvixen]

Titan Trackers

Summary: The unlikeliest of parties brings you and Levi together.

Pairing: Levi Ackerman x fem!Reader, Zoe Hange x fem!Reader (platonic)

Request: No

Warnings: Some language, usual AOT violence but not explored in detail

A/N: Have I fallen for Captain Levi Ackerman? Yes. Do I regret it? Absolutely not. Is the dog based off of my own dog? Why not!

You had joined the scouts the same time Hange did, the pair of you standing out as the smartest amongst the bunch of cadets you were lumped with.

As the years passed, you two stuck together. Even as Hange advanced through the ranks with you, they never left you behind. When they eventually became Captain, Hange immediately made you their assistant.

It had been like that for years, except you had an experiment of your own now.

You always had a soft spot for animals, there were always stray ones running around the city streets. It broke your heart to see how starving they were, or how some were mistreated.

Levi saw this as you returned home after quite the grueling mission. Despite the Captain's stoic nature, he had a soft spot for you. One that everyone picked up on except you

So when you woke up the next morning surrounded by stray dogs, to say you were surprised was an understatement.

Rushing downstairs in your gear, it was like the floodgates of fur had opened as about 7 different dogs followed suit. Your mind was still spinning. How did they get here? Who the hell even let them in?

Nevertheless, you snuck into the kitchen, trying to be subtle enough as to send them on their way with full bellies. However, the pointing noses and little sniffs gave your location away to the Captain.

He slipped into the room with the mumble of something under his breath along the lines of "filthy animals."

But as you turn away from the rice and eggs you were cooking, you noticed the white hair clinging to his normally pristine cape that belonged to one of the dogs. Certainly, he hadn't brushed against one of the dogs?

That's when you heard a squeal from outside the kitchen doors

"THEY'RE SO ADORABLE! I'm going to name you Sneaky and oh! Yes, I'm going to name you Bean Jr. What do you think Bean Jr?"

After that morning, you knew that between Captain Levi and Commander Erwin the dogs would be gone by the next morning.

But the days turned into weeks, and after close to a month of helping the dogs regain their strength, something downright miraculous happened.

Hange said that you could keep them.

According to what the Commander had relayed, as long as they served a purpose for the Survey Corps, they could stick around.

So you quickly got to work. Some you trained to be guard dogs, others became like the sled dogs you read in books, hauling ODM equipment around the compound, and some even became companions for particularly nervous horses.

But there were a few chosen dogs you knew had something special. These ones seemed to be more aware, their senses more keenly attuned.

It was originally Levi who gave you the idea of how to train them.

You had invited the Captain for another evening stroll with the dogs. As much as he pretended to begrudgingly follow you, pretending like the nightly ordeal was a pain to him, he secretly enjoyed this part of his evening. He had warmed up to the dogs slowly but surely. But more importantly, he warmed up seeing the smile on your face when he joined you every evening.

This night, however, he could see you were deep in thought. As the dogs ran around the compound, letting loose after a long day of work or training, he walked beside you as your quiet pondering turned into stewing.

"Spit it out, brat. It looks like that little brain of yours is ready to explode."

You sigh softly, watching as the same three you had known to be special gently nudged you, not wanting to leave your side, especially in a distressed state.

"These three," you gesture towards them. "they still have no job. They just don't seem to fit. But I don't have the heart to send them back to the streets."

Levi's gaze fell to the three, quietly watching as they followed your side as loyal as ever. As you continued your walk in silence, you came across something you never saw anymore.

A deer.

Now while the other dogs were playing, clueless to the still doe standing and watching your rag tag group, there were a select few looking back over at the deer. Pointing, signalling to its presence, urging you to look over.

Confused, you followed their gaze and saw the deer, your eyes opened in awe of the rare sighting.

"Dogs, fetch."

Suddenly, the three blitzed from your side and ran towards the deer, nipping at its heels with vigour. As both you and Levi watched, they worked together so that instead of chasing it back into the nearby woods, they were herding it towards the two of you at an incredibly fast pace.

Before the doe could trample you in your state of shock, Levi grabbed onto your waist and using his ODM gear, anchored you and him to a nearby tree, narrowly missing the panicked deer.

With heavy breath, you clutched onto him as an idea hit you and you whispered:

"Titan trackers."

After Levi showed you the potential of the little group, you quickly got to work. In a short amount of time, the dogs (who you had so lovingly come to call Beanie, Thrawn, and Jasper) were ready for the field.

When you approached Commander Erwin with your idea, you were instantly shot down.

"Titan territory is no place for you mutts, Lieutenant."

Seeing you so crushed about Erwin's reaction, let's say Levi had a conversation with the commander.

The next day, the approval paperwork had magically appeared on your desk.

From that day on, you had your dogs on the field. And my had it paid off. Many deaths had been prevented thanks to them.

With their quick warning of nearby Titans, it gave the squads the upper hand. And with Hange's intuitive vests she had built for them, the dogs were armed to cut deep into a Titan's ankle, immobilizing them without crushing the dog!

And what you could never see coming was the day those three helped Levi save your life.

Despite Beanie, Thrawn and Jasper's work of warning you of the impending heard of abnormals, Levi and your squad quickly became overwhelmed. In the chaos, you had been split from the group, with innumerable injuries littering your battered and bruised body.

By the time Levi had regrouped near the walls, so close to safety, it had already been hours. So when he realized that you weren't accounted for, his heart dropped.

In his panic, he failed to listen to the incessant whining the golden trio had been giving off while following his pacing form. However, the high-pitched noise was grinding on what thing nerves the Captain already had. So by the fifth or sixth whine, he lashed towards them:

"Go lay down and let me think!"

Beanie, ever so gently, nudged Levi's hand and looked up at him with his soulful black eyes, almost as if to convey the own pain he felt that he didn't know where you were.

Levi, with a tearful sigh, patted his head when the thought struck him. Quickly rushing over to his horse, he ripped the small piece of fabric out of one of his travel pouches while mounting the beast. It was a gift from you to keep his blades clean, but he had yet to use it.

He whistled, bringing the boys over. Leaning down, he let them all get a good sniff before mumbling to them quietly:

"Find her."

Just like that, the three of them ran as fast as their legs could take them in one direction. In the direction of you. And Levi was right behind them on his horse.

It was late that night when he found you, hiding in a house in an abandoned town, weak but alive. The three dogs laid by your bleeding form, nudging your hands, laying their heads on their thighs while waiting for your next command. With what little strength your body had stored, you managed to mumble out:

"I'm okay boys."

Giving each of them a small scritch on the head, you let a weak smile grace your face. Levi rushed in, seeing the dogs guarding you, and a trembling sigh leaves his lips.

"You're not allowed to scare me like that, brat."

With a weak chuckle, you mumble something incoherent as your blood loss catches up to you. As gingerly as he could, he lifts you from the ground and slowly makes his way back onto his horse, holding your weak form close to his chest the entire way home with dogs in tow.

Nearly three days later, you finally regained full consciousness, the previous days being a blur. The morning sun was streaming in through the curtains but as your eyes focused, you recognized them as Levi's curtains.

"Welcome to the land of the living."

Slowly looking to your side, you see what you can only recognize as a severely sleep-deprived Levi. He sits in his office chair beside the bed, surrounded by paperwork he had been doing to keep himself busy. Through his bored expression, you could see the worry sitting deep inside him.

"I really scared you didn't I, Captain?" you croak with a grin.

"Yeah, you did," he says while laying the paperwork to the side. "I wouldn't have been able to find you without them."

He gestures to the three dogs slumbering by your side, one curled into a tight ball while the others are sprawled out. The dogs were laying on Levi's pristinely clean bedding.

"They haven't missed their nightly walk. None of them have. I made sure they were taken care of." Levi says while leaning back in his chair.

"But Cap-"

"Levi, just call me Levi,"

A blush overtakes your cheeks.

"Okay, Levi," you say tentatively, testing out the name. "They're shedding on your bed."

"Bedding can be washed...or replaced."

You chuckled weakly at the comment.

"But you can't, (Y/N). And I know how much you love these three. No matter how dirty they are."

You look at him softly, letting the cogs in your head turn in overtime at Levi's words. Before you could open your mouth, Levi stands.

"Don't overthink it, you need your rest. I'll go get us some tea and I'll get the dogs their biscuits."

Like he had done it a million times before, he leans down and lays a ginger kiss on the top of your head and whispers.

"I'm glad you're safe...brat,"

With a soft grin, you watch as he leaves his quarters before turning your attention to the sleeping pile of puppies sprawled across the bed.

Sure, years from now, in the history books other men had written, these three would be known as Titan Trackers, an innovative tool that resulted in the Scout Regiment's successful recapture of many territories.

But to you and Levi? Well, Beanie, Thrawn and Jasper held a special place in your heart.

They kept the two of you alive long enough for you to finally clear the air on your feelings towards one another. And once the walls had fallen, they spent their retirement watching your kids run around the house you had called home.

And as you sit in the backyard, watching Levi chase after Kuchel with your young toddler Hange in tow, you gently pet the three dogs laid in various positions around you, Jasper's face pressed impossibly close to your bump.

So yes, they were the world's Titan Trackers. But to you and Levi, they helped track down your happy ending.

[hornyanimegirl]

Pairing: Levi x Reader

Series Masterlist

Warning: pregnancy, mentions of abortion

“it’s too much”

You were terrified, hands shaking, palms sweaty. So much confusion and distress from just two lines appearing a stick. But, you had taken at least 5 of these tests and the two lines were the only things coming up. Tears ran down your face, and your eyes were blurry with unshed ones. 

How could you be pregnant now? You loved kids, and loved the thought of being a mother but you knew Levi wasn’t ready to be a father. It was also so early, way too early to be having kids. You were still trying to get your degree for petes sake, a baby would change the whole course of your life...

Of both of your lives.

How were you going to tell Levi? What was he going to say? You would have to hide it. You needed to sort out your thoughts before saying anything to him. Did you want to keep the baby? Are you ready for this type of responsibility?

The conversation months ago played through your head. “Maybe in the future but it’s too early now”. Is it still too early? Of course it is. The conversation wasn’t even a year ago. But shouldn’t he be happy about bringing a new life into this world? But its not about that, its about his future, whether he’s ready for this sudden change.

You sat on the bathroom floor brain whirling with questions, and contradicting yourself while asking them. You felt like you were losing your mind. The anxiety of telling your boyfriend was too much, and the decision of keeping the baby weighed heavily on your shoulders.

You touched your stomach a frown on your face as you stared at the ground with furrowed brows.

“Well I guess I’ll have to figure it out soon”

Next

Taglist: Open

@daoreogirl  @galactict3a   @thel0v3hashira143​  @angelsceeee

[lazyexcuse]

Y/n: “I am a confident driver.“

Kenny, panting: “You ALMOST rAn mE OVER!”

y/n, puts on sunglasses: “Confidently.”

[rouge-variant]

Levi Ackerman x Reader

If I could trust you I would

Opening up is hard for anyone but to someone who's been broken down so many damn times, it's impossible. The constant remainders and thoughts in his head took over any time his heart thought that maybe he could let you in, let you help.

The guilt that settled deep in his chest when he pushed you away then found you sleeping next to his door hours later, tore him up. You were so patient, so kind, and deserved more than his stubborn closed off self.

It always made him chuckle at how resilient you are with his treatment. You're always able to see right through his actions. Even more so than Erwin or Hanji can at times.

So he makes sure to attempt to show you that he appreciates it. Whether it be picking you up and carrying you back to your barracks when you feel asleep waiting for him or covering you with a blanket so your won't get cold on the rare occasions he wasn't able to carry you back. Either way, every time without fail, he would kiss your forehead and mutter an apology for only you to hear in hopes that you'll still be that light in his life that he needs going forward.

"I'm so sorry Y/n. If I could trust you with this, I would"

[http-tokki]

When my time comes around

~ levi ackerman x fem!reader ~ tags/cw: spoiler warnings for end of season four, canonverse, death, blood, gore, angst, levi being in love with reader, really gross in love stuff, ~ wc: 1.4k ~ “No grave can hold my body down, I'll crawl home to her” - Work Song: Hozier 

you feel the moment Levi is thrown from the carriage. Your heart stops in your chest as your entire body goes ice cold, fear creeping into your veins as the noise from the blast reaches you, the tremors in the earth. Levi. You're only thought as you turn your horse towards the sounds, towards the rising smoke.

"Levi" Hange breathes from behind you, confirming your fear. That's where he was, he was coming to meet you with Zeke, he was there.

His name rips from your throat as you dig your heels into your steed, the only thing on your mind was knowing if he was alive. If he was okay. fuck. fuck. fuck.

That should have been you. You were supposed to stay with him to watch Zeke, but he sent you away with Hange to find the others. He had kissed you on the head, muttering a quick and quiet I love you and sent you off. Fuck. Fuck. You were meant to be with him you should have stayed. You should be with him right now. You scream into the open air, throat burning as you called his name. Fuck. Fuck.

Hange finds Levi first. Barely recognizing their friend amidst the blood and gore but he's breathing; his chest rising and falling with shallow breaths. Hange calls out to you, voice-shaking, tears welling in their eyes. They doesn't know what to do first; stop the bleeding, mend his broken limbs, try and put him on a horse to get medical attention but what if his spine had been broken? there were too many variables for them to figure out.

You don't scream, you don't curse, you don't move when you see Hange leaning over Levi, hands cradling his face. The horse you're on continues on, stepping closer towards them before someone in the regiment stops it.

No. No. No. This wasn't happening. It wasn't supposed to be like this. You weren't meant to find him here like this, not like this. Hange calls you, head whipping towards with tears streaming. face.They are pleading, begging for help, for you to do something, say something.

In a body that's no longer yours, you dismount and walk over to Hange; to Levi.

"I'm so sorry, Levi. I'm-" you're whispering as you drop to your knees, hands reaching out to grab at his bloodied hand. "sorry, I should-I'm- please."

Hange watches as you crawl towards him, hands and knees muddied with blood and dirt. Watches you reach out to him, grabbing at his hand before bringing it to your lips in a soft kiss. Letting go of him, they shout back at the men to create gauze, bandages, whatever they could out of whatever they could find. You call his name, bloodied hands now going to cup his face, thumbs stroking along his broken skin.

"Baby, please" you blubber out. "Levi, you need to stay with me" A hand reaches down towards the gash on his chest, pressing down on it to stop the flow. Levi hisses the first sign of life outside of breath.

"Fuck, I'm sorry. I just need you to stay with me okay" you tap his cheek, light enough to avoid any other injuries but hard enough to get him to focus on you. "Hey, I'm here. You're okay"

You're lying and he knows that but it's okay. Levi cracks his eyes open, the cold grey growing dimmer with each second.

"Go get help! Get a wagon or something!" Hange's voice is distant as you stare at your breaking lover, your world, your moon and stars dimming with each passing second.

"Sweetheart..." Levi chokes out, his voice rough from the wounds to his body. "Angel, I'm here. I need you to calm down" rough fingers squeeze lightly around yours. Even on the brink of death, Levi is comforting you. His voice straining as he coughs and sputters, blood leaking from his split lip. You follow the droplet down his chin as it falls onto his tattered shirt, the blood from every other injury staining his clothes a dark red.

"Shit, Levi. You really fucked up on this one" you mutter, half to yourself and half to the dying man before you. "It wasn't supposed to happen like this" looking back up, you see him staring at you, sadness and fear and devotion swimming in those watery grey eyes.

"I know, sweetheart, I know but" he pauses, hand slipping from yours to cup your cheek. "You're here now, and were together so let's make it count, please" Levi was pleading now.

You could smell the blood, metallic and sharp in your nose as you lean towards him, foreheads touching afraid to do anything else.

"I love you so much, my darling, so fucking much" his voice cracks with tears as you both begin to cry. "I'm so glad to have met you, you-" Levi groans, pain radiating through him. "you are- fuck, you're my everything"

You grip onto the ruined shirt, fingers tightening around the crusting material as if that would keep him with you. You wanted to scream at him to stop with his final goodbye bullshit, that there would be a wagon here in no time and he would be as good as new tomorrow, that it wasn't your last moments together, that you would get that life you always dreamed of but instead, you press your lips to his gently. Metal fills your mouth, his blood smearing over your lips as his hand held you close to him. It was comical how your last kiss was exactly like your first.

You had returned from a trip outside the walls, bloodied and bruised limping as you held your comrade up against you. Levi had stayed behind, his duties keeping him in the office for the day but as soon as he heard the announcement he was running out the door. Pushing his way through people, decorum and title be damned, he needed to see that you were okay, that you were alive. He shouted for you until his voice was hoarse, scanning the faces for yours, and as the minutes passed his heart started to sink, feeling the cracks of loss starting to appear in his skin.

"Captain!" Your voice over the roaring in his ears had him turning around. There you stood, the setting sun behind cast a golden glow around you as if you were an angel on earth; his angel.

Levi cursed, his heart mending itself as he started towards you. Before he could think, he had wrapped himself in you. Fingers sliding across your jaw, one going to cup your nape as he pressed his lips to yours.

There was a moment of hesitation within you, the shock of your dreams coming true rendered you immobile, but a second later you were kissing him back. Arms wrapping themselves around his waist, you crushed yourself against him. Levi sighed into your mouth at the reciprocation, fingers tightening in your hair. Cheers and hollers sounded around you as you continued to kiss your captain, hands eagerly grabbing at his shirt to hold him tighter. The taste of blood filled both your mouths from your broken lip, but that didn't stop Levi from deepening the kiss, tongues sliding and teeth clashing before he pulled away breathless and pressed his forehead against yours.

"Don't ever scare me like that again. Understood, brat?" his tone soft despite his orders.

You nodded, noses brushing against each other. "Understood, Captain" Levi smiled before kissing you again, months of love and wanting pent up to spill into a single action. The howls and whistles grew louder but as far as you were concerned, it was only you and him in that courtyard.

And it was only you and him now. Using what strength he had left, Levi pressed into your mouth, kissing you with the love he had stored in his soul for the next forty years. He wouldn't get a chance to kiss you on your wedding day, and after you gave birth to his children, each day after work as he came home to you, and as he tucked you into bed for the night. It was this final moment that he had to make you know, had to make you feel how much he loved you. "I will find you again. I will always find you" he whispered into your mouth. A promise reminiscent of past conversations of alternate universes and different dimensions. How he would find you, how you were made from him, how you were his other half. "You're mine"

You sobbed into the kiss. "And you're mine"

Levi drifts in and out of consciousness on the ride to the infirmary but the grip on your hand never falters.

a/n: okay okay okay, I know. This isn't as good as the last ones, not as well written but I suck balls at death scenes because I like dialogue and heart-wrenching screams. I only ask that you cut me a lil bit of slack on this one cause it made me sob for a good half hour just thinking about it. it very much deviates from the plot so just suspend your imagination. there isn't really a clear POV here, maybe it's 3 idk they aren't clearly marked but it's easy to keep up. also NOT PROOFREAD cause I'm lazy and have work in 20 minutes.

~ songs also listened to: May we meet in another reality- playlist Saying your last goodbye to your comfort character - playlist As the world caves in : Matt Maltese (Sarah Cothran cover)

[introvertedelf]

Scared to Lose You

Levi Ackerman fluff/angst head cannon

Prompt: Imagine being scared of losing Levi so you distance yourself from him

YOUR POV

-You had that infamous feeling in the pit of your stomach, the one you get when you hear that someone you loved died.

-You we’re dating Levi Ackerman for about 6 months, and you both loved each other dearly

-Recently, the titans have been worse than normal, Levi was having to go out on missions more than usual.

-When he got back safe and sound as usual, you began to distance yourself

-Simple things like not eating lunch with him, avoiding him some

-He noticed immediately, and became very concerned, so he confronted you.

-You tried to put on a straight face, but he saw right through it. You broke down.

-You cried into his neck telling him that you didn’t want to lose him, and that by distancing yourself maybe it wouldn’t be so bad if something happened to him.

-He was shocked, so shocked that he started sobbing.

-He told you that he wouldn’t ever leave you. That he’d always be here and you had to stop distancing yourself

-He held you tightly and you held him back just as tight as he peppered soft kisses all over your face

-The night ended in some passionate sex…

[xxsmokeyy]

Levi x Reader (F) Silent Treatment

genre: mild angst, fluff

summary: Levi says something in an argument and you decide to give him the silent treatment.

Tick, Tock.

All you could hear is the clock ticking as if time is rather slow, every second the same sound radiating. The room is engulfed by silence that even the faintest of sounds reach your ears.

Two days after the most recent expedition, here you are, sitting on the couch by the lance corporal’s desk. It’s been two days and Humanity’s Strongest is still working himself out with a bundle of papers.

You glance at him with pure concern. His steely eyes are severely shadowed, a mixture of purple and grey forming under them. His ebony hair a mess as strands fail to form their usual shape. His desk is chaotic, with papers falling off to the floor, whether scanned or not.

You feel your chest tighten at the sight. This is no good. Two days have passed since everyone returned from the outside and he has not gotten any better. It’s understandable to work himself out the first day, but today shouldn’t be this much hard on him as well. He needs rest, and plenty of them.

You prep yourself as you stand up to try and convince the poor man out of his seemingly hell office. This will cause him no benefit.

“Levi,” you approach the Captain calmly, “what do you say we get out and drink some tea for a while to get you a few rest? Yes?” you smile in all hopes that he’d agree and choose to come with you.

He raises his head to look at you, and as your eyes connect with his, it’s like a thousand daggers stabbed your heart. He’s so exhausted but he doesn’t want to show it. “As much as I would like your offer, there’s still more unfinished work here and I don’t want to go slacking off without complying. But thank you otherwise.”

You are not going to give up on this.

“Levi, there are other days to do this. You don’t have to overwork yourself, in fact, you won’t finish early if you do work without any energy at all,” convincing him is one way. You wish he would just give in but he continues to sign the paper he’s previously reading, and then another, and another.

He stays quiet, not saying anything back to your proposal. He’s fixed with his rejection, but you have your spirit.

“I’m atleast going to get you your tea,” you walk away, leaving his office and sighing once you close the door behind you.

You don’t want to force him out of his state because that might stress him more, so you’ll continue to try your luck by offering and offering again.

You head to the kitchen to make a freshly brewed tea for your lover. You see Hange discussing something with the commander at the table. When Erwin sees you, he immediately asks the Captain’s whereabouts.

“He’s… still doing paperwork,” you sadly inform. Everybody’s well aware that expeditions will never avoid casualties and the responsibilities that will be dragged along with it.

“Shorty must be working himself off, huh,” Hange adjusts her glasses. You know they’re concerned for the Captain as well, even though they don’t say anything more about it.

“I’ll go now,” you smile before walking back to the office, holding Levi’s tea. You know the way he makes his tea, and he wants it perfect. Aside from himself, the only person he allows to make tea for him is you. You pray this would get him away from his desk.

Without the need to knock, you enter the room, flashing a small grin while walking up to the Captain.

“Here, I brought you some tea, it’s still hot so be extra careful.” It’s difficult finding a place for the teacup since documents are everywhere, but you clean up a spot and try to help in organizing his work.

“Thanks,” is the only thing that comes out of his mouth. Disappointed, you slowly turn your back to him, taking a step toward the couch again, but you stop midways.

“Can you lay beside me in 10? I found difficulty sleeping last night and I think I should get some rest since I have nothing else to do, and you should definitely get rest, too, so?” you suggest, not giving up on the sleep deprived man although the idea is a little weak and stupid so you know he is going to refuse right away.

“Go get your rest, I can’t leave this,” he says, not even lifting his gaze to you. You see how he still pulled off his usual nonchalant expression, nonetheless you could see right through him.

“Can I atleast help you out in any way?” you wish he would say yes, but for god’s sake, he shakes his head, holding his ground, “I don’t need your help,” as he mutters your name, his tone begins to turn so cold.

“But Levi… look at you, you’re a mess! You get no sleep these past nights, and you haven’t even eaten lunch yet! I get how this is important but you need to take care of yourself. Please—”

“Will you quit bothering me even just for once in your life?” He seethes vehemently, massaging his temples as he asks for his very own version of peace.

With that you fall silent, taken aback. Every word he insinuated stings really hard like there’s venom in it. You want to speak up for yourself and explain what you want for him, but he’s way too fixated with his objective to finish his work that he doesn’t even realize that he has caused you pain within just a few words.

You stare at the raven head dumbfoundedly, looking for words to say but you just can’t find your voice. Opening your mouth to speak is no avail. The dead silence dominates once again.

You finally decide to leave the room. Maybe it’s best you give him what he wants.

Levi thinks this it’s best, too, since he needs concentration and craves focus in hopes of lifting his conscience by clearing his responsibilities regarding every fallen soldier’s death. He doesn’t mean any harm to you. No, he would never want that. But his desire to fulfill his tasks has quite blinded him.

He raises his head to look at you, noticing your sudden silence. You’re about to turn around at the moment, but your glistening eyes fail to escape his sight.

His heart wretches by the view. You crying is the last thing he wants, especially if it’s because of him. But he’s frozen and unable to move. He’s too much of a coward to speak up and stop you from your track.

This really is his fault. All this time what you have been implying was for him to unwind even for a bit, yet all he did was ignore your sweet concern.

Your heavy footsteps echoed around the room. Tears have already fallen from your misty orbs, eventually dropping to the floor.

His attempt to call you out and apologize immediately after he lashed out is unsuccessful. You’re gone and not another word left one’s lips after what he said.

He places his palm across his face out of frustration. Too late is what he is right now. He fails to function more and more after minutes passed. He tries to go on with his work but he keep remembering the scene with you earlier. How your beautiful face of hope turned into an expression of agony and pain. None of this helps, “I have to fix this,” he murmurs to himself, afraid that you might grow distant as time passes by.

—

You wipe your eyes, fixing your appearance in an attempt to look decent before going to the mess hall to get your dinner.

Armin approaches you first, asking your condition. You’re clueless about what condition it is that he means but you figure it’s probably his immediate observation of your feelings at the second.

“Are you alright?” His eyes are curious and concerned, but you wave him off with a small smile, “I’m fine, Armin. You get too observant at times, don’t you? What’s for dinner?”

Joining the others, you eat slowly. You can’t help but think of your partner. This causes your stomach to swirl. You try your best to get him out of your mind.

“These mashed potatoes are awesome!” Sasha exclaims, munching like lightning. Christa giggles, finding Sasha’s addiction with potatoes adorable.

Eren smiles but stays quiet. Seems he is still affected by the previous expedition. He catches you looking at him and you smile.

“Hey, are you okay?” he asks. You nodded and ask him back, “How about you? Haven’t moved on from recently?”

He gives a small reassuring smile, “I’m coping.”

Conversations came and went. Everyone returns to their quarters to get some sleep, and you’re left all alone. The deafening sound of silence has dominated your ears. You heave out a sigh.

You finally erased Levi from your head for a while, but when you go to the kitchen for a tea, you almost immediately spot across the room the man you’re so desperately trying to avoid, sipping his own cup of tea while leaning against the table. It’s the one you made for him earlier, you could tell by the choice of teacup. But shouldn’t it be cold by now?

Abort.

You try to leave unnoticed but you hear him call you.

“Speak to me,” his tired eyes bore to your own broken ones, secretly pleading you to talk to him. He had dismissed his uniform jacket and only wore his undershirt. The sight of him just has to tear your heart into several pieces. You need to stay strong. You don’t want to shatter in front of him, or you’ll only end up burdening him.

I’m just a bother, after all.

You refuse to talk, so you leave the room in a rush. You feel your eyes mist again. You blink a few times to stop the tears from forming and run to the women’s quarters instead of Levi’s room, the one you both share every night without hitch.

The bed below Mikasa’s has been vacant ever since you stayed in Levi’s room. In your head, you thank all the walls that no one new had been recruited to your squad so that you can still use your bed from before for desperate times like this.

Everyone else is already asleep so you don’t have to answer their interrogations about what a miracle it is for you to spend the night in your old bed, without the Captain.

As you lay down, you close your eyes in hopes of falling asleep quickly, but your bed just feels lonely and sad. The mattress feels emptier than ever, and the atmosphere in the room feels dark, even if your comrades are complete in the same room.

You begin to toss and turn, recalling the scenes from earlier. This isn’t any help, but then again, being in the same room as Levi won’t do any of you good. You’d just distract him, like what you can only do.

On the other hand, behind your locked doors stands Levi, aiming to knock. And he did, but no one responds. Why? Why did you not respond? He knew you went there. He just knows it, because where else would you be? He knocks one more time and that’s when he guesses that you might be sleeping already. He knows better than to disrespect his other comrades’ privacy and enter without permission. With his conclusion, he finally heads back to his room and tries to finish all the messy paperwork, looking at the door once in a while, hoping for you to enter and ask him to rest with you. But you didn’t.

Tick, Tock.

The sound of the clock’s hands ticking feeds on the silence of the room. You wake up and there’s light already.

You shoot up from the bed. Mikasa is already awake, as you know she is the earliest of birds. She looks at you with amusement, and you roll your eyes.

“What in the world happened between you and Captain Levi for you to come back here?” she asks. You answered her with a grimace.

You change back into a spare uniform you had left in the quarters before heading to the mess hall once again. Levi is already there, seated with Erwin and the others. Hange offers you a seat unfortunately across Levi which you accept defeatedly, for there are no more available seats anywhere. Avoiding him is hard, and you should probably deal with constantly encountering him today. You have duties like cleaning in the morning and training after lunch, so a lingering Captain is not unnatural.

“What time did you sleep last night?” Levi asks, which you ignore. You scoop the hot soup and blow the steam off before sipping it. “Answer me,” no one could hear you conversing—scratch that—him speaking. Everyone from the table had a discussion that doesn’t include yhe two of you.

“Why did you not answer my knocks?” he asks once more but you only sip your tea. You so desperately wanted to answer him with a sarcastic, “because maybe I’m asleep, don’t you think?” but you stop yourself from doing so and stayed quiet.

His eyebrows twitch in annoyance. You think he has to deal with this. And he will, because there’s no way your pride will let you talk to him. Although you’re tough enough to convince yourself not to say a single word to him, you still feel guilt rushing through your veins. Aren’t times like these the times when you should understand him the most and swallow your pride?

But he said it himself didn’t he? He wants you to get off of his neck and quit pestering him, and you’re just one to follow.

You shake the thought away and continue eating. Soon after you finish, you all proceed to your cleaning duties. Apparently and unluckily, as if fate just doesn’t want to cooperate with you, you‘re assigned to clean the Captain’s room which is just downright unfair. At this point, talking to him will be inevitable.

You sigh exasperatedly with cleaning equipment in your hands. You try to convince Jean who hates cleaning the stables to exchange tasks, but he says he’d prefer picking horseshit with his bare hands than have to clean the Captain’s office. Aside from him, no one wants to swap tasks with you, knowing how hard it is to satisfy the Captain with some mediocre cleaning skills.

Accepting defeat once again, you knock three times before waiting for Levi’s reply, “name and business,” his certain cold voice replies.

“It’s me, I was assigned to clean your office.” Silence follows. You figure that you should enter and you don’t fail to notice the slightest smirk in Levi’s lips.

What an asshole.

Brushing aside the man’s presence, you go on and start sweeping the floor. You just want to finish this quickly to be able to get away from him.

“You’re sweeping too fast, you’re not picking up all the dust,” Levi remarks. You furrow your brows and roll your eyes heavenwards in total annoyance, “do it all over again,” he orders.

And you obey, quietly. Besides, it wouldn’t favor you if you object. You’d have to speak.

Meanwhile, Levi couldn’t take his eyes off you. He’s supposed to finish his “work” today but his mind is somewhere else. Of course he hasn’t forgotten yesterday. But what he said was not his intention.

You begin to mop.

“Did you wash that with soap?” he asks which you, once again, ignore. This is getting on his nerves. He wants to hear your voice. He wants to say he was sorry, but he couldn’t pick up the strength to do so because he’s afraid. Afraid he might hurt you again with his reckless words. Actually, no. He’s more than certain that he’d never throw you such words again. Rather, he’s more afraid that you would just shrug off his apology and keep giving him the cold shoulder. Then, he chooses not to speak anymore. Silence engulfs the room.

Tick, tock.

Once you finish cleaning, you leave the room. He didn’t even try to stop you from leaving or even just speak again. Why would he even do that anyways?

Afternoon comes and training quickly starts. Your hand to hand combat with Eren attracted a lot of attention from your mates. You’re now sweaty, fists tightly balled mid air. Eren’s fighting stance is now a little sloppy as he catches his breath. You chuckle at the sight. It’s now time to end this battle before he gets exhausted even more, you think with pure concern, an image of a tired Eren flashing through your head.

“Oi! Finish this already!” Jean cheers, on your side.

“You have to beat her, Eren! She just becomes stronger and stronger every session!” Sasha jokingly shouts with Armin laughing a bit on his own.

As the fight becomes more and more heated, you aim for his guts in the stomach as you perform a perfect uppercut once he’s distracted. And of course, you eventually win with that final move. He lays on the ground helplessly, not being able to stand up for ten seconds.

You offer your hand to him. He accepts it and you help him stand up. Slowly, the crowd gathered around you disperses and goes their separate ways. You stay with Eren. You’re fond of talking with your opponent right after a match like this.

“You seriously have to teach me some of your skills!” Eren says, catching his breath. You’re both heading inside.

You chuckle, “You’re getting better, kid,” you ruffle his hair. His shoulders slump down in annoyance. He’s well aware that he’s far from your abilities, not to mention, you’re the second in command of the Captain.

“I don’t understand how you’re shorter than I am, but you still manage to beat me and ruffle my hair like this!” You both laugh at his statement.

From your peripheral vision, you see Levi standing with crossed arms by your far left, looking at you and your companion. His dark aura radiates, taking over the atmosphere of the open field. Something tells you that he’s awfully jealous, but for what reason? Eren quickly notices.

“Hey, I think you should go to Captain right now, I don’t want him to think…” he hesitantly states.

“No, it’s okay,” you calmly assure him. A few moments later and it’s already dinner time, and you proceed to the mess hall once again.

You sit beside Eren, conversing with him about a couple of military equipment. You notice that Levi sit in front of you again, but you pay no attention, even though guilt cripples through your veins. You always sit beside him every meal, but for the fourth time, you don’t.

You continue to discuss about certain materials that the 3DMG is composed of, educating Eren of their functions. As you sip on your tea, you notice Levi staring firmly at you, his gaze never leaving. But you refuse to acknowledge his steel grey eyes, standing by your principle of giving him the silent treatment.

You finish your meal and get up to bring your plates to the sink. Just as you’re about to leave, you’re approached by the sight of your Captain glaring at your soul.

You’re at a loss for words. Not that you want to talk anyway.

“I’m telling you, if you still don’t speak to me…” he says, blocking your way.

Levi crosses his arms. “You’re enjoying the whole day with that brat, aren’t you?” he begins to converse. “What are you even talking about? The both of you? You were talking non-stop, woman.” You stare at him with an emotionless expression. Slight anger and frustration dance in his tired and sleepless eyes. This only confirms your thoughts from earlier that he is, indeed, jealous. “And you even ended that match with him because you didn’t want to drain his energy,” he adds. He knows, he can read his lovely, caring girl so well. You care about everyone half the time, and he doesn’t want to admit, but right now, he is jealous.

He’s wearing his white button down shirt and suspenders. He has never failed to attract you with even the most common outfits and uniform. How can he be just so hot?

You shake your thoughts away, trying to walk past him but he grips your wrist and pulls you back in front of him. “Tell me, have you perhaps… had a change of heart?” Surprised, you quickly look at your lover’s eyes, and find they’re filled with loneliness and sorrow. You feel your heart shattering into thin little shreds. I can’t handle this sight!

You weaken with his touch, you want to tell him no, you could never do that and that you love him and him only, but you stay silent that you’re almost convinced you were now mute.

“Shit,” he curses, ruffling his hair out of frustration before he drags you away from that place. Your heart races and you couldn’t think straight. You miss him, and you can’t deny how hard a day is without him.

Tick, Tock.

The next thing you know you’re in his immensely cold and silent office, pinned to the wall like a prey being feasted on by its predator.

“You’re driving me crazy, and I hate it, woman,” his eyes are dark, like his emotions have been making him lose it. You look away, avoiding his gaze but to no avail. He lifts your chin and direct your face to his.

“Look, this cold treatment you’re giving me is not helping anyone. I’m more distracted than I could ever be and I haven’t finished the same damn pile of paperwork from yesterday until now. So just talk to me, and let’s get out off this mess,” he calmly states in a quiet manner, as if trying to own his mistakes by acting well behaved.

By this time, you know he already regrets his previous actions. And even though you’re no stranger to Levi’s tall walls and his apathetic behavior, you just had to make him voice out his apologies.

“Speak…” You look at him in his eyes filled with mixed emotions. Rage, loss, guilt, sorrow, doubt. You’re the only one among everyone who can see this because you’re the only one he can be vulnerable with. Once again, you feel your heart break into pieces.

“Levi…” His face lightened up with your call. Your voice is soft and mellow. Finally, you spoke! It was such a torture, a day without your beautiful voice. The poor Captain is glad to hear you again, but is taken aback by your next words, so he cuts you off before you could even finish. “Maybe we should just—”

“Fuck! Wait! Don’t fucking do this to me, I’m sorry! I’m a jerk… I know, I know. Give me another chance, hey…” Your eyes widen at his pleas. Overflowing fear and nervousness are written in his misty steel orbs. He frantically holds your hands and you could feel his desperation.

“What?” you ask in genuine confusion. You’re glad he said his sorries, but why is he acting like you were going to leave him?

“Come on… don’t you dare leave me. I’m sorry.” And there you could tell how afraid he is. He’s afraid by your choice of words, he thought you were going to leave him and now he’s so desperate of making you stay.

You slowly rest your palms on his cheeks, “Levi… you got this wrong, I was just going to—” He places his hands on top of yours before interrupting again.

“Hey… you don’t have to end things, let’s not be so sudden with our decisions and let’s talk about this—” his voice is weak and silent that you can’t bear it anymore. “Levi! I am not going to end things and leave you! Have you gone crazy?” you scold in a manner of wishing he would just stop panicking.

“I was going to say that maybe we should just be careful next time and not be so reckless with our words. You just didn’t let me finish!” you chuckle as you notice his realization. He winces, his glowing eyes now dried from the threatening tears. You’re glad not a single drop escaped, you can’t see him crying or you’ll lose it.

“Fuck, I sounded so desperate,” he hisses and averts his gaze, making you drop your hands. You can almost feel your heart melt. He regrets his mistakes and at the same time, he’s horrified to lose you.

“I’m sorry,” he mumbles in an almost inaudible tone. You want him to look you in the eye. His apathetic self have caused him to say the expression almost never, and you want to feel his sincerity in a rare occasion like this. You guide his face to your own. “What is it? I didn’t hear,” you tease, playing innocent.

He grimaces, an indication that he doesn’t want to repeat. But for you, he will. “I said I’m sorry, so don’t do that again,” his tone returns to his popular authoritative one, and at that moment you know you should obey.

“Don’t do what?” You bite your lips to stifle a smirk. He is so amusing when helpless, you’re beginning to think this was a good idea!

“Give me the cold shoulder like I’m some stranger or whatever the fuck,” he furrows his brows as he glares straight into your eyes.

“Alright, Captain.” You giggle and tiptoe to reach his soft lips with your own, kissing him intensely like how you missed him. And he answers your kisses like how he missed you, too.

[willreigns]

Drabble Challenge 2024

Day 1: Drink

A/N: Survivor’s Guilt is approaching 9k words and counting (thank you all who voted). In the meantime, have this drabble that takes place in the same universe as Mama’s Garden. I will try to participate in the drabble challenge for the remainder of November.

Levi sits beside Eden, her little form curled beneath thick blankets, cheeks flushed with fever. He holds the small cup of tea, offering it once more.

“Just drink, Eden,” he says, voice laced with desperation. She gives a weak shake of her head, whining softly.

He shuts his eyes, a familiar ache settling in his chest.

Losing her would be like losing you.

With a steadying breath, he opens his eyes, resolve breaking through.

“For mama?”

Eden blinks through wet lashes, finally relenting, sitting up and taking a sip. Relief finally floods through his heart.

[willreigns]

Happy October everybody! Levi poll ahead!

I really wanted to do an October event for Levi, but I’m so overwhelmed with personal changes and college that I won’t be able to do much :( However, I do have some longfics (~6k words) in the drafts that I can polish and post.

They will all be published at some point, just wanted to get a general idea what Levi readers are looking for this month! 🫶🏼🫶🏼🫶🏼 Thank you! 🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️

[willreigns]

Left Behind

Sorry y’all, I’m tipsy and I had this idea come up while hearing this song.

Amnesia trope, angst, ~.5k words.

Credit to @cafekitsune for the dividers!

When Levi heard the news, he thought it was a big joke.

You, amnesia? Impossible, he always made sure to try and put you in the safest position possible during these expeditions. And yet, when he sees you and you don’t recall a single detail about who he was and how he loved you, it finally settles deeply that you truly don’t remember.

It was an error, lack of anticipation of the female titan. He lost his own squad, and now he had to juggle with you losing your memory?

No matter, you’d remember with time, that’s what the doctor said, right?

Except it’s months before you finally recognize Levi, but only as Captain Levi, and not the man without the the title. And it’s months before you remember a clumsy kiss you had shared with him on Christmas, but he played it off as your drunken joke, rather than what it was, a confession, a tense reveal of you feelings, things you wouldn’t say when you’re at your most sober form because you were scared, scared of unrequited love like he was.

Slowly, he watches as you stumble over memories, your name, your parents, your history, but never him. Never your history with him.

The soldier who found you, the only solace you had of your reality, the soldier who found you with your heart still beating amongst the dead bodies of your comrades, his face the first face you woke up to.

A nobody.

Levi, forced to watch as you sought this soldier out, looking for answers, looking for your past, when you should’ve been looking for him, Levi, but you don’t because you don’t know any better, you literally don’t know any better.

Levi watches you embrace this soldier, he watches you kiss this soldier, with the hopes that you’ll remember Levi, and not Captain Levi at some point, because that’a what the doctor said, right?

No, Levi watches as your relationship is announced, he watches as you fall in love, he’s even forced to watch as you come to him for advice on how to come to terms with the fact that you loved someone who can so easily die, advice you had once sought out to others, but with Levi as the subject.

One stormy night, with your drunken giggling self, Levi kisses you.

You’re offended. You have a boyfriend. He thought you’d remember.

He apologizes, he’s “drunk” and so are you, and so you forgive him. Even as humanity's strongest, he's allowed to make mistakes, right?

He wishes you can also forgive him for letting you go on that damn expedition. You were meant to be on logistics, nowhere near danger. This was the end result; here you were, without a single memory of him.

Levi watches you get married, and he never once speaks a single word. All hopes of you remembering long gone once you announce that you are pregnant with your first child.

He always thought you deserved better, and what better way to prove that then now?

[willreigns]

Mama’s Garden

It’s your birthday and your daughter wants to celebrate. Her father can do nothing but oblige.

A/N: My submission for Levi Month Day 21; Post-War: Children. ~1.3k words of pure angst.

Credit to @cafekitsune for the dividers!

“Papa, do you think mama would like this?”

A single pebble. A shiny one at that. Levi gave it an expressionless glance and gave a firm nod.

“Mama would like anything you give her, Eden.”

Hardened eyes met soft bright ones, ones that broke out in innocent glee, ones that made Levi Ackerman’s heart swell. There was only one other person who had this effect on him.

You.

The little girl chucked the pebble into a worn pouch, along with other things she wanted to give you. It was your birthday today and Levi had been up early—partly by his own choice, the other because of the giddy toddler who had been preparing for this day for weeks. It had been hard to put Eden down to bed yesterday and the bags under Levi’s eyes were a testament to that.

The day was sunny and so Levi moved forward with his child’s plans, a picnic for mama. Stowed inside a basket were fruit—the ones you and Eden liked—some sandwiches she helped him make, and leftover stew from yesterday’s meal.

“Mama doesn’t like stew,” Eden huffed, wrinkling her nose.

“Mama doesn’t like it, or you don’t like it?”

Eden gave it a seemingly deep thought.

“Neither of us.”

Dinner time had been a struggle yesterday, too. She turned out to be as picky of an eater as her father.

It was less of a struggle now though, compared to a couple of years ago.

Right. Eden was almost five. How quickly the time has passed.

Time, Levi reflected with a pang, time that he wished he had more of.

“Papa,” a little girl with his features, but your eyes, called to him, “let’s pick flowers for mama.” He nodded before his thoughts could ensnare him again.

“This red one, and this blue one, and this pink one…”

It amazed Levi how much she’s grown. She used to be so small, would fit right into his hands like a dainty little package. Now, she counted to ten and back, knew colors, helped him water your garden. She already knew so many things—Levi sometimes found it hard to keep up.

“Mama, you’re going to like my bucket, I promise,” Eden whispered into one of the bell-shaped flowers, a habit she had ever since Levi had told her that you’d hear her if she spoke into them.

“It’s bouquet, Eden,” he corrected her gently and turning to head back to the house when she stopped him.

“Won’t we water the flowers today?”

Levi paused, a twinge of guilt tightening in his chest. So Eden has noticed; Levi has tried not to let the approaching date affect him, but your garden hasn’t been tended to in a week now. The weeds were beginning to creep in, some flowers were wilted and some of the bush was growing wildly in some places.

“Yeah,” he finally answers, his voice softening, “go get the watering can.”

Eden giggled with delight, small shoes pattering around the corner as Levi watched her disappear momentarily. The minutes felt long; a familiar worry settled in his bones, a worry he couldn’t quite shake when his daughter was out of sight.

Levi let out a breath he didn’t realize he’d been holding when Eden finally reappeared. Watering can in tow, they watered the garden together. Levi’s brows were furrowed in concentration, trying not to overwater like you’ve taught him before.

I’ll tend to this later, Levi silently promised as they left the small garden and headed back into the house. He watched as Eden said her goodbyes to each and every flower, exerting patience where there once was none.

With the small basket in tow and a giggling Eden following closely behind, Levi began the familiar trek to the fields to see you.

“Papa, how come you married mama?”

Your toddler exhibited such curiosity that could drive Levi mad at times, but nonetheless he ensured to give her the information she wanted.

“I loved your mama, so I married her.”

Words like love still felt foreign in the former captain’s mouth. Yet, with time, it was getting just a little easier to speak of it—to speak of you.

“So people marry for love?”

Not always.

Very rarely.

“Of course,” he answered, voice steady.

Soon, the cobblestone paths diverted into dirt walkways. The small patch of flowers that had been growing from the cracks of the stone brick now flowed wildly in this section of the road.

Past the willow tree and into the flower fields, alone and by a motionless lake, you were there.

This is where Levi let love in—where he let you in. This is where Levi proposed.

This is where you rested.

“Mama, happy birthday!” Eden exclaimed, her voice ringing out in the quiet air. She took a seat next to the familiar gravestone, pouch already open as she emptied out its contents on the patch of grass she sat on.

Levi watched her for a moment, the weight of the day finally pressing heavily on his heart. Finally, he set the basket down, hand brushing light over the cool stone.

“Here’s this pebble I found today. You can have it, I already have one like it in my room…”

Levi could feel his throat closing up as Eden continued speaking, explaining every single gift she’s brought and what it meant. The pebble, a pink bow she’d begged Levi to buy (a bow he thought was for her), a drawing of a big house and a family of three.

A family of three, Levi wished his family of two could be a family of three. So many nights he spent hoping you were alive somewhere, not just in his mind—those quiet hours when the house felt too empty, and the silence too heavy.

Emotion was getting harder to combat with age, but Levi tried with all his might to refrain from crying. No, today his daughter deserved a moment of happiness, even if you being gone was killing him inside. Even if being here was killing him inside.

But Levi couldn’t stop the tears even if he wanted to.

“Is papa crying?”

He quickly wiped them away with his sleeve.

“No, it’s water.”

“…There was water in papa’s eyes yesterday, too.”

Eden was just like you, always so annoyingly observant. Levi could feel his heart twist at her words.

The flowers swayed peacefully in this part of the field, their soft colors blending with the golden light of the afternoon. The wind blew against Levi’s hair, tickling his face as he watched Eden run and play. A small smile etched itself on his scarred face in this fleeting moment of calm.

When Eden finally tired, she helped her papa clean up and put everything back in the basket. The gifts would stay, except the drawing. Levi had to find a way to secretly take it back home.

“Can we come back soon,” Eden asked, a hint of sadness finally making its way through.

Levi gave a firm nod. “Of course.”

There was a silent pause, a moment of deliberation for the young girl.

“Papa, how come mama can’t be with us?”

She died at childbirth.

“She’s busy,” was Levi’s gruff response, before letting out a heavy sigh. “Mama’s taking care of us…from the sky.” Levi was weary of religion, but if it meant he could spare even a shred of innocence for his daughter for the time being, he’s taking it, no questions asked.

“Mama’s an angel?”

A silent pause.

“Yeah, sure kid.”

She grinned, curiosity quelled for a short minute, before another thought burst through her tiny mind.

“Will you also be an angel one day?”

Levi could feel his heart stop. He hoped so, if it meant he could see you one day. He missed you so much—he missed your smile, your laugh, your playful kisses despite his half-hearted protests. For a brief moment, he allowed himself the comfort of an afterlife with you.

“Yeah, one day,” he finally managed to say, his voice almost breaking.

Eden smiled, her small face lighting up with an innocence that tugged at Levi’s heart.

“Papa, I love you,” Eden says so suddenly, “Mama loves you, too.”

Levi’s breath hitches, a warmth spreading through his chest. His eyes soften, he breaks into a rare, tender smile, one that hadn’t come easily for years.

“I love the both of you, too.”

[jjkamochoso]

I’ll Be There for You

Angst, fluff

Levi Ackerman x gn!reader

Levi comes to your rescue when you’re dealing with negative feelings/depression :)

Warnings: cussing, negative self talk, allusions to depression, thoughts of death

A/n: if this fic helps even one person feel a bit better, then I’ve done my job🫶 much love to any of you who are or ever have felt this way; you’re worthy, you’re loved, and you have so much more life to experience so please don’t give up and always keep fighting❤️ I’m here for anyone who needs it and don’t be afraid to reach out!! Much love to you all❤️

Quite simply, you just wanted to lay in your bed and rot into the mattress, never to be seen again.

You didn’t know what brought on these feelings, you just knew you wanted no part of them. You would much rather sleep the hours away in hopes that they would leave on their own, but that wasn’t an option; you had to go to work. Trying to get out of bed each day was a Herculean task when it felt like your limbs were made of concrete. Inside your head were swirling thoughts of insecurities pertaining to every facet of your life.

I’m horrible at my job.

Everyone’s too busy to care about me, I’m not worth their time.

No one would care if I died.

You sighed, slinging your uniform jacket over your shoulders. You didn’t bother looking in your small mirror, figuring that seeing your appearance would only make your thoughts worse. You grabbed some files from your office as you made your way past the dining hall, opting to forgo breakfast. You had little appetite the last week, not having enough energy or care to fuel your body. You were just filing paperwork anyway, it wasn’t like you were doing anything important or worthwhile. Normally you would smile as you heard the chatter of your comrades chowing down on their meals, but lately it brought you no joy, instead leaving your heart heavy with an indescribable sadness. Your boots slammed against the floor, each step as difficult as the one before it. You trudged along to your superior’s office, dropping off some of the files before heading back to your own office, not looking forward to report writing the next few hours. You barely registered the presence of someone else in the hallway next to you, your surroundings unimportant as you pleaded with the universe to let you hide away in your office, alone and unbothered.

The universe was not so kind.

“You look like shit,” Levi commented, his eyebrows knitted in concern.

You snorted as you kept walking. “Thanks, Captain.”

Normally you would have a sarcastic remark at the ready, but you weren’t in the mood.

“Are you sick?” He walked in time with you.

You hesitated before answering. “I… don’t feel well.”

Levi quickly moved away several inches.

“It’s not contagious,” you added. His expression was unreadable.

“You haven’t eaten much lately.” he observed.

“Not hungry,” you replied, causing him to roll his eyes.

“Shitty excuse. What’s wrong?”

“Nothing, okay? I’m fine,” you said through clenched teeth, fighting the urge to scream. You didn’t want him to know of your internal pain. You couldn’t show Humanity’s Strongest Soldier how weak you were. You picked up the pace to your office as Levi walked right next to you, offering you silent companionship. Under different circumstances you would be chatting away with the man, but right now you wanted to wallow in your despair by yourself and not be questioned about your lack of food or hygiene.

“This is me. I’ll see you around.”

You tried to slam the door closed as fast as you could, but his lithe leg was faster, blocking it with his foot.

He narrowed his eyes. “You’re a horrible liar.”

“I’m tired, that’s all,” you tried to reason, hoping he would either believe you or get the hint you really didn’t want to talk about this with him. Levi peeked behind you and caught a glimpse of your office, making him frown at what he saw. Your desk, usually rivaling his level of cleanliness and organization, was such a mess that he could barely stomach it. You noticed his eyes wandering and you shoved yourself closer into the doorframe to block his view.

“Anything else I can help you with?” you asked, clearly frustrated with him.

“No. Take care of yourself, L/n. I have no need for a squad leader who can’t perform at their best.”

With that, he pulled his boot from your doorframe and left you to replay those words over and over in your head.

As Levi left your office, he couldn’t shake the feeling that something was really wrong with you. Your desk being such a wreck was totally out of the norm. Obviously you were lying about only being tired, but he didn’t know what the source of your issues was. Walking down the hallway, he saw that your bedroom door was left ajar. He wasn’t one to invade others’ privacy, but you were acting quite strange and, as a captain, he had a duty to make sure his peers were alright. Well, you two were more than peers anyway; he considered you a close friend and a trustworthy comrade. He hated seeing your lack of motivation, knowing you were capable of so much more, and thought his harsh words earlier would give you the boost you needed to get a grip and snap out of your funk.

What he saw when he opened your bedroom door made his skin crawl.

Your normally tidy, clean room was in a state of utter chaos. Your clothes were strewn haphazardly all over the place, your bed wasn’t made, sheets falling on the floor. Your gear wasn’t cleaned properly, nor was it resting in its rightful place. What was going on with you? He left as quickly as he came in, having seen enough. You hadn’t been cleaning or eating, two important daily tasks that never slipped your mind. You looked like you hadn’t bathed in many days or been bothered to monitor your appearance whatsoever. You weren’t ill because you wouldn’t lie to him about not being contagious.

So what was it?

He thought about your glassy, empty eyes. Your expression was mostly neutral, but he could see through the facade you were putting up; you were deeply troubled by something.

You were suffering mentally and he had just now noticed.

He cursed at himself for not realizing it earlier. Between his own never ending piles of work and lack of sleep, more so than usual, he hadn’t noticed the signs of you pulling away from everyone until much too late. His mind reeled at what he should do next. There were so many things that needed to be done to kickstart your healing process, he just didn’t know where to start.

Actually, he did.

It had been hours and you had barely written anything on the paper in front of you, your brain unable to focus on work long enough to form professional sentences. You wanted to rip the stack of papers into teeny little shreds, take out your mental anguish on something tangible. You thought back to what Levi had said: he had no need for you, since, clearly, you were as far from your best as you could ever be. You couldn’t even find it within yourself to care, numbness overtaking you. It was just a matter of time before you were fired, discharged, and thrown to the streets. Maybe there you could disappear for good…

Knocks at your door interrupted your spiraling thoughts.

“Name and business,” you called out, less than enthused.

“It’s Levi. Open up.”

You groaned. You didn’t want him to see your office in disarray, though you suspected he had seen enough earlier.

“Is it urgent?”

“I’ll kick down the door if you don’t let me in.”

“Guess that’s a yes,” you grumbled under your breath.

“No need to damage government property. It’s unlocked,” you told him, hinges creaking as he stepped inside. In his hands were a steaming cup of tea and some bread that he set in front of you.

“Here. You can’t starve yourself,” he said.

“I appreciate the gesture but I’m not hungry,” you reiterated.

“Stop being so damn stubborn and have at least a little bite. Or drink the tea. I won’t watch you waste away,” he argued, irises aflame with an intense emotion you couldn’t pinpoint. You didn’t want to be a further disappointment so you nibbled on the bread, your stomach coming to life with gurgles of hunger as you swallowed the welcome nutrients. Levi looked around for a place to sit but all of your chairs were occupied by opened books and papers you hadn’t stacked neatly.

“Sorry about the mess, you can just stick those on the floor with the other piles,” you said, embarrassed at your lack of tidying. He took a seat and watched you intently as you ate and drank. When he was satisfied with the progress of your meal, he spoke up.

“I’m not… good… with my words,” he started, more hesitant than you’d ever known him to be, “but I want you to know that I’m available for you no matter what. I won’t let you suffer alone.”

“Really, Levi, I appreciate it, but it’s nothing, I’m-”

“Your office is a mess and your room is a disaster. Your mannerisms have changed. I know you, y/n, I know something’s off. I failed at seeing it sooner and I let you down.”

His gray eyes bore into your own. “But I’m here now. I’ll do everything in my power to keep you from losing yourself. Whatever you need.”

Your gaze dropped to your desk.

“I don’t know what I need,” you whispered. “I don’t know what I need to feel better. To make all of this go away.”

“That means we won’t stop trying things until we find a solution,” Levi responded, resolute in his statement.

“We?” you asked, uncertain of what he meant.

“That’s what I said. You’re not fighting on your own. We’re in this together.”

“But I’m weak for feeling like this. I don’t want to be another burden on you or anyone else.”

You couldn’t dare look Levi in the eyes during your confession, afraid of how he was viewing you as you displayed your most vulnerable moments out in the open like this. He stood abruptly from his chair, the sound of wood scraping on wood echoing through your office. He leaned over you, his hands gentle yet firm on your shoulders.

“Look at me.” You slowly raised your head as he addressed you, his bangs hanging haphazardly over his forehead. “Don’t ever say something so stupid like that again. This is not weakness and you’re not a burden. That’s your shitty brain lying to you. I will repeat this as many times as I need to until your ears bleed or your mind starts believing it.”

He gave your shoulders one last squeeze before unhanding you. “You can talk to me if that helps. I might not have the right words but I’ll listen. It’s a hell of a lot better than keeping it bottled up inside. I’ve seen soldiers swallow it down until they couldn’t stand it any longer. I won’t let that happen to you, too.”

You nodded in understanding, taking in a big breath before letting it out. “Okay. Okay, yeah. I’ll try… talking about it.”

“Good. You do that while I’ll clean this pig sty you call an office.”

You laughed for the first time in weeks. Levi felt himself smile softly at the joyous sound he had missed for so long, his heart beating a little quicker at the way your expression was lively once again.

Your venting session with Levi went extremely well. You felt like the weights had been lifted off your shoulders a little bit. Obviously you weren’t cured and knew these feelings were going to linger and could strike at any time, but it was nice knowing you had someone to turn to when things looked bleak. Your office, now spotless due to his efforts, also contributed to your mind feeling more organized.

“Four eyes has good advice, too, but you might get experimented on so be careful,” Levi said, making you laugh for the second time that day. Before he left, he made you swear that you would eat dinner. “I’ll personally drag your ass to the dining hall,” is specifically what he said, and you wholeheartedly believed him.

“Thanks again,” you told him as he reached for the door handle. “I genuinely don’t know what I would do without you.”

He froze.

“You’ll never have to know,” he eventually uttered, taking his leave.

Later that night, when your work was finished and your stomach was full of food, you huffed in annoyance when you remembered the state your room was in. Bracing yourself for the disappointing scene, you opened your door to:

A clean room?

You walked inside, confused as could be. Your sheets were back on your bed, everything crisply tucked in. Your clothes were put away, both hanging up and folded neatly in your dresser drawers. Even your gear, which was left covered in muck and dirt from your last training session, was shining as brightly as the day it was first issued to you.

There was only one person you knew who could clean that precisely and quickly.

Your attention was caught by a sachet of tea and a small piece of paper left on your nightstand. You picked up the note, a tear staining your cheek as you read the meticulous penmanship.

Here’s some of my favorite tea. It’s brought me comfort in the past so I hope the same for you.

If you don’t know how to brew it correctly, come find me.

Like I said before, take care of yourself.

I believe in you.

—Levi