#Levi ackerman x reader angst

[jrreigns]

Melancholy

Day 13: Blue | Drabble Challenge 2024

CW: Levi x fem!reader, civilian!reader, angst (?)

A/N: Takes place in the same universe as Letters from the Other Side. Part of Drabble Challenge 2024.

Credit to @cafekitsune for the dividers!

You wonder if you’d ever get used to feeling this blue.

Although you can’t deny the happiness that your now husband brings you, part of you still misses your parents. Now that Paradis has been closed off, any hope of ever seeing them again is gone.

Perhaps you’ll be their daughter again in another life.

Levi calls out to you. You’re here but not really, and the silent tears slipping down your cheeks confirm this.

All Levi could do is hold you until the feeling passes, pressing a kiss on your temple.

“Everything will be alright.” You can only nod.

[lazyexcuse]

*Y/n and Levi training*

Levi, wiping the blood from his lips with a smirk: “Oh yeah? Is that the best you can do?”

Y/n, holding back tears: “Yeah actually, I’m trying really hard..”

Levi, standing up straight, shocked: “Oh.. ok.. hey— it’s ok—“

[leviismybby]

If only I knew

Levi Ackerman x fem!reader, angsty angst, slight fluff but not too much

With the titans being gone and the world healing, people move on Levi Ackerman is no exception, he sits outside on the balcony, his eyes looking at people who pass down below. Every single one of them has their own story, their own struggles and challenges. He wondered sometimes what the story was of that old baker down the street that sells those sweet pastries he brings to the kids he is helping sometimes or that woman who always went on evening walks. He sees families, couples, mothers with their children, all of them with a different life than his own. 

Levi wasn't going to complain, this was the peace he fought for, he wishes sometimes that the people he cared about were still here but he learned to accept his freedom and stop feeling guilty about it, this is what they would want for him. As he looks at a young couple pass by, his thoughts wander back to you. How were you? Have you been doing good? Have you moved on from him? He thinks about you way too much and wonders if you think about him too. What if it was different? What if you were here with him? Enjoying the morning air just like he is....

He shakes his head and takes the now cooled-down cup of tea on the table next to him, he catches himself doing what he told himself not to do, going through all of those what-ifs that do nothing but put him in a spiral of thought. It's a habit he is working on getting rid of, there is nothing he has if he keeps living in the past. Levi has no regrets, that what he tells himself but, you were his regret, he regretted not going back to you and if he could go back in time for only one minute, he would go back to you.

His memories of you are still crystal clear, he hasn't forgotten what you looked like, how could he? You were his first and only love.

The underground wasn't a pleasant place to live, Levi scoffs as he cleans the floor, he tries to be quiet not to wake you up as you're still sleeping. His eyes look at the clock from time to time, he wonders if Furlan and Isabele have managed to get themselves a decent breakfast, he left them a note where hid some of the food supplies. He spent the night at your place, recently finding it a guilty pleasure of his. Does he feel bad for lying to his friends about where he is? Yes, he does. Does he feel like it's a need to keep you safe? Yes, he does. Both of them know about you and that you're Levi's girlfriend but Levi likes to keep your relationship a secret as much as he can.

As he continues to clean the floor, he eventually hears footsteps coming his way and looks up to see you leaning against the doorframe watching him clean. Your place wasn't big, you had two rooms, one was used as your bedroom and the other as your kitchen. "Well good morning, handsome." You smile as you speak and Levi rolls his eyes as he stands up. "Didn't I tell you to stop with the nicknames?" The smile doesn't leave your face, you can't help but tease him, it's your favorite thing to do. "No, you're handsome."

He approaches you and gives you a quick kiss on the lips. "Since you're already trying to suck up from the early fucking morning. Have about you make the bed while I make breakfast?" You groan. "Fine, we did leave it a mess." Levi can't help but let the side of his lip quirked up slightly, you two were rather intense any time you made love, he enjoyed it thoroughly. "Of course we did, you're a wild one in the sheets."

That morning when you two were eating breakfast, he noticed a discomfort on your face. "Name, what's the matter?" You rub your neck, feeling nausea again, the fourth morning in a row. "I am...fine just.." You stop for a second taking a deep breath. "I feel like I have to throw up." Quickly you stand up from the table and bend over the skin to throw up, Levi follows swiftly behind you, holding your hair and rubbing your back gently. After you're done, he reaches for the napkin and wipes your mouth before cleaning the sink as you sit down. "It's most likely a flu, Furlan had it last week." Levi says as he kneels before you and puts his hand over your lap. "Rest, I'll take care of everything."

Levi's memory trip is interrupted by his doorbell ringing, he stands up and takes his cane and makes his way to the door, cursing his leg. Opening the door, his eyes go slightly wide as he sees Jean and Connie, now both even more mature than the last time he saw them. They were in their early twenties now, both mature men, well as mature as Jean and Connie can get anyway. "You two...this is a surprise." Levi says and steps aside to let them in, usually when any of them visit they sent a letter prior so something must've happened for them to come all the way here.

"How's your leg, ca- Levi?" Jean almost face palms at Connie's slip-up, he didn't blame him however, it was a force of habit and long years of Levi being the Survey Corps captain. "It has its days. I don't need the shitty wheelchair today, at least not yet." He says as he leads them into the living room to sit down, they sit down on the sofa opposite Levi who sits down on a chair. "Do you two want something to drink?" Levi asks despite the fact that he can see that the two were in a hurry to tell him something. "No thank you. We won't be long." Jean says and takes his hat off. "We uh, the reason for our visit is tho." He pulls out a photo from his coat pocket and puts it on the table in front of Levi.

Levi arches an eyebrow for a second before taking a look at the photograph. There's silence for a few moments, this time it's Connie that speaks again. "We got it from Historia, she got the file for the newest recruits who just signed up for the military and when she came across the photo, she immediately called us." Of course, the new rule on Paradis is that you have to be 16 years of age to sign up to train for the military, Historia can't do much about the tight grip that the new regiment has on people but she made sure that kids no longer have to train at early age.

Silence falls over the room again as Levi observed the person in the photo. “This boy…..he looks familiar…” Levi takes a look at the photo better, thousands of questions going on through his mind. Jean and Connie look at each other, not knowing how to approach the situation, Jean clears his throat before speaking. “That's why we brought you that picture, we thought you might be able to tell us who it is.”

Levi keeps looking at the photograph. “And how old is he? Do you know?” He looks up, his face showing curiosity. “He is 16.” Connie’s words seem to leave Levi thinking even more. 16 years old…he saw you last 16 years ago. “16….” Levi sighs and looks at the photo again, his eyes pay close attention to the boy’s hair, jaw and eyes. His eyes darted over the mirror in the hallway then back at the image in his hand. 

Dammit name. Levi says in his head, this boy had his features, his gray eyes, his sharp jaw, the dark hair, those nose all of it, his. He looks at Jean and Connie who are both waiting for an explanation, an explanation that Levi does not have, he does not doubt that this is his kid but he cannot tell them something he didn't even know about. Now he starts to feel stupid, no wonder you were having all of those sick mornings and suddenly started to crave food that you usually had a dislike for, you were pregnant, pregnant with his baby. Another money creeps into his mind...

"Be careful." You say as you watch Levi put the gear on. "Why are these people after you anyway?" He doesn't answer you as he focuses on strapping his gear on the right. "I don't know. All I know is that I have to go above ground to kill that blondie." Blondie? He must be referring to that tall blonde guy, the one you saw last week wearing a dark green cloak with wings of freedom on it. "I am doing this for us. If I get my hands on those papers we can finally go live above ground." He approaches you and wraps his hands around your waist, his eyes locked with yours. "I'll be back." Levi says, taking your face in his hands when he notices your eyes get watery. "When?" Your voice is shaky. "I'll be back." He repeats his words before kissing you passionately.

"We just, never saw you with anyone that way so it was a surprise to see the photo." Jean's voice interrupts Levi's train of thought, he sighs putting the photo on the desk. "There was someone before I joined the Survey Corps....Name." The way your name rolled off his lips after so many years makes it almost painful for Levi, as much as it's hard for him to speak, he continues. "She was someone I met when I was young in the underground, we were together for a long time before I went above ground with Erwin and Miche."

Connie knows that he should let Levi speak but his curiosity gets the best of him. "What happened? Did you not go back for her?" That question hurts Levi, not because he didn't try to go back to you but because he did and when he went back, you weren't there. "I did, so many times. I let myself be stopped by the suffering of my comrades too many times but I did. About two years after writing letters to her and her never responding, I went back and she...was gone. Her stuff was still there, most of it scarred across the floor like someone had broken in. I went back above ground and accepted two options, one that she was either dead, killed by the criminals in the underground or that she parished into the dirty streets and died of illness.....she was feeling ill before I left and of course, it never clicked in my mind that she was pregnant with my child."

Jean and Connie listen as Levi talks, even they can feel the dread and longing from his voice. "So I left it. Buried it deep in me with only memories of her to hold. But this.." He takes a photo of his son in his hand again, he closes his eyes for a moment trying not to let his emotions get the better of him. "Changes everything. Do you know more about him? His name?" They shake their heads, maybe Historia did tell them a name but they were too in shock from seeing the photo to react. "I think Queen Historia would be welcome to speak with you over the telephone, the problem is it's hard to reach her."

"No." Levi says. "I will speak to her personally, I need to know more." It was a sentence Levi didn't think he would ever say, going back to a place that considers him a traitor. His son may be one of those people for all he knows, he did grow up on Paradis but he has faith in you, that you told him about his father. He would understand if you didn't too, you had every right to after how he left. "Are you sure that's smart? People on Paradis are rather hostile with former members of the survey corps." They were telling Levi what he already knew, he reads the newspapers and listens to the radio, he knows better than anyone the injustice the new regiment does to him and his fallen friends and comrades however, it's his son, his flesh and blood. As much he wishes that he was strong enough to let it go, he can't, even if you remarried, even if you forgot him, he had to see you again, to meet his he didn't know even existed until about thirty minutes ago.

"I know and it probably isn't smart. That won't stop me, now that I know about him...I can't let it go."

---------------------------------------------------

Levi can't move, it's like he is stuck in one place. He holds onto his cane as he watches from afar, his breath hitches in his throat. His son is just a few steps away but it's like something is holding Levi back as just stands there, looking at him. Regret starts to creep in again, he was 16, and Levi has missed so much of his life, he missed his first steps, his first words, his first day of school. Leo, that was his name, Armin told him when he came to Paradis.

It has changed a lot, there are a lot of familiar places but yet they seem so foreign, he can see his comrades in every corner, hear their laughter. He can see himself in Leo as he trains, very clearly skilled and fast. Levi wanted nothing more than to talk to him, what would he say if he does? He was 41 years old now, will his son hear him out? Does he ever know about him?

There's a loud whistle suggesting that the training is over, Levi's eyes follow Leo as he walks over to the bench and drinks some water. It's like looking in a mirror a few years back, they looked so much alike, it wouldn't take anyone who knew Levi personally to figure out who Leo was. Levi looks away for a moment thinking to himself. If he goes over there and talks to him, he will figure out everything. What happened to you, he would hear his son talk, get to know him if he lets him to.

Instead, Levi turns around, he gulps, trying to surpass the tears in his eyes. Or maybe it's better that his son doesn't get to know him, that you don't see him again. Maybe Levi isn't as strong as he thought he was, he looks back and sees that Leo is talking to his peers, clearly enjoying the company of his friends. That makes Levi smile slightly, he seems like a good guy, he didn't expect otherwise, you raised him. Levi was about to call out but then he sees someone approach Leo again, this time he knows who it is, it was you.

Levi's eyes go wide and he moves a little closer, not enough for you two to see him but enough for him to hear your conversation. "Hey ma." Leo smiles at you as you sit next to him. "Here you go, now remember to return the basket after you're done." Levi watches as Leo takes a look at the basket, his hands going through it. "Ma, I told you not to bake. I can't have too much sweets in my diet." Despite his words, he takes a bite out of a cookie, Levi knows himself how good of a cook you are, he can almost taste the flavor in his mouth.

You were stunning, you matured and Levi couldn't find you more beautiful. He is happy for you, happy that his son has so much respect and love for you. Leo finishes the cookie and then takes the basket from you, his mouth full of food. "Leo, slow down." You scold, putting your hands on your hips. "Sorry ma, missed your cooking." There's something that you feel on your back, like someone is looking at you from afar and what's worse is that it feels like deja vu, like you have felt that type of stare before.

You turn around and Levi is quick to hide behind a wall, he sees that you keep looking for a couple of minutes. "Ma? Is everything okay?" Leo asks his mother, trying to see what she is looking at. "Yes, it's all fine...I just felt someone looking at me is all." You turn back to face your son and Levi finally sums up the courage, he comes around the corner slightly and starts walking towards you until....

"So ma, how is dad doing?" That stops Levi in his tracks, dad? But he...he was- "He is doing good and remember that next time he will be the one visiting so try to act more.... Like a soldier." Leo rolls his eyes at that. "Like hell I will, I am the most skilled one here, it's not like I can't act human just because I have duties to attend." Levi hears the words, unlike him, Leo is putting the people dear to him over duty. You laugh a little and then pinch Leo on the cheek. "Alright now, don't be rude to dad he cares for you."

It was like a dagger to Levi, you did move on, and you did forget him. He turns around not wanting to listen to that conversation anymore, it was killing him inside. His son...doesn't even know about him. If only he knew, if he visited you earlier all those years ago. If only he stayed...while you would've been in the underground, you would've been together and he would have a son that knew him.

-------------------------------------------------- Taglist: @youre-ackermine @the-milk-anon @humanitys-strongest-bamf @romantichomicide95 @mrsackermannx @sixpennydame @svftackerman @hhighkey @cometlevi @notgoodforlife @levisbrat25 @randomlevithoughts @ackermendick @saenora @loveackermannn @levismylover @laurenzitaa @missyasma @sad-darksoul @thebobaprincess @la-undercover-latina @levilxvr @bpdtistic

[magicdustsworld]

Honour

Levi Ackerman x Reader

Synopsis: You've heard tales of the infamous humanity's strongest soldier – Captain Levi. The first time you meet him, you come to know how wrong they are.

Tropes: Hurt/Comfort, Angst

Warnings: Graphic description of violence, injuries, bit of something I can't add, gn!reader, Canon AU, no mentions of y/n.

Word count: 1.9k

Event: Submission for the prompt day 6 - Love at first sight on @levievent

“Square up, cadet!”

The terse call from one of your fellow soldiers instantly prompts you to straighten your spine. Footsteps serenade before halting right beside you, he scrutinizes the area you were assigned to clean. A hefty sigh leaves your lips, hopefully you’ve done a good job enough considering you’ve been on it since the last twenty minutes.

“Is this what you call clean?”

Just like that all of your hopes are shattered.

He presses the pad of his finger on the glass pane, dragging over the surface – a speck of dust grazes his skin. You swallow a lump, “I- well…”

“What are you mumbling like a maggot, now?”

Chewing on your bottom lips, your eyes flickered from him to the window “No, I- I thought it was clean-”

“Don’t get cocky, newbie.” He leans towards you. “I don’t know what the hell is up with you freshly out trainees-”

“Oluo, stop trying to imitate Captain Levi!”

A third voice chimes in, soon a hand is placed over your shoulder and you are met with a concerned mien of an auburn haired woman. “You okay?”

You nod and Oluo lets out a grunt. “Did I do something wrong?”

A corner of her lip curls up, “Not necessarily.” Her eyes flicker to the window pane then back at you. “You just need a little… guidance.”

You blinked, “Guidance?”

“Yeah, I will help you out around here.” She muses. “Its just- the captain can be quite a clean freak so if you want to be in his good books, you should get used to spotless and abrupt cleaning sessions.”

-

“Hm? Captain Levi?”

“Yeah,” You affirm, sitting beside Petra in the mess hall. “What is he like?”

She tilts her head – taking a second to conjure a proper response for you. Her spoonful of porridge has halted near her mouth before it is put down. “The true captain Levi he is well… cold, irritable, violent and always has a poker look on his face.”

 “Was he always like that?”

“As far as I’ve seen,” Petra answers and you nod. Silence for a second stretches the table until she starts again, “I’ve heard rumours that say he was a thug but he joined the scouts after Commander Erwin pulled some strings. He hails from the underground so-”

“From the underground?”

“From the underground.”

A pang of unease surges through you. Although you’ve lived your entire life on the surface, you aren’t elusive to the underground district. A region where no sunlight permeates, a hub for the criminals and the thought of such an enigmatic figure of the military being from there happens to cause an apprehensive pang.

She chuckles, “Pretty conflicting for you, right?”

“Well uhm,” You try to suppress the coy smile from forming on your lips. Running your fingers through your hair, you answer, “To be honest, I had a rather different picture of humanity’s strongest soldier.”

“Don’t let that title deter your eyes, cadet.”

This time, it is the soldier sitting across you who intervenes in the conversation. You shift your gaze to him, “Excuse me?”

“Don’t get all blinded by that strength and titan kills,” He replies with venom lacing his tone. “He doesn’t care about any of his comrades.”

“Duran!”

.

You try to twist your body, wincing from the pain that surges from your ripped abdomen.

Warm blood gushes out from the ghastly wound, hands coated with blood of yours – it’s a futile attempt to stop the bleeding by pressing on the area. The pressure only causes the backflow of blood causing it to rise up your throat and akin to bile, you throw up. Consciousness slips in and out of you by each passing second and the way your shredded intestines coil in fingers, the smooth pulsing flesh grazing your skin sends tremors up your shoulders.

A splitting headache shoots through your mind and you grunt. You can feel the anxious yet despondent stare of the medic by your side. The rather slow paced bandaging of your torso helps little. It’s almost like they have given up. Honestly, you can’t blame them for their surrender, the injuries you’ve sustained from almost being chewed up as titan fodder is far from curable. Even if you manage to not lose your life now (which is impossible with the amount of blood you’re losing), you’ll only be a burden to bring back to the walls (a factor which would risk the loss of more lives).

Either way, there is no win.

A zap of the ODM gear momentarily distracts you from the pain. Sooner than you can comprehend, there’s another figure kneeling beside your worn and moribund form. You are greeted with a lingering warm touch on your shoulder and just like that, your ragged breath ceases.

“What’s the condition?”

“The organs are ruptured and I can’t stop the bleeding, Captain Levi.”

The quivering voice of the medic stalls you that this is in the infamous Captain.

You don’t know what comes over you but you try to speak; resulting in a coughing fit with blood dripping down your lips, marring your skin with its tint.

Levi’s attention shifts to you, his thumb brushes a slow circle over the fabric of your uniform, “Easy there, Soldier.” He says, tipping his head as a sign. “You don’t need to speak.”

You gesture your understanding with a scuffling nod. Significantly, your vision is blurred due to obvious reasons. Yet, it’s not impossible to mark raven bangs fanning his forehead, sharp features, steel blue eyes that gaze down at you with… is that concern?

“Don’t get blinded by all that strength and titan kills, he doesn’t care about any of his comrades.”

Didn’t they say he doesn’t care?

“If you want to know does your sacrifice make any difference or not,” He starts, voice lowering yet a newfound grit ignites. “It does.”

It doesn’t. You want to say. It doesn’t make a difference. It is only your first expedition and just like the average rate of sixty percent of the new cadets who traverse beyond the walls for the first and last time – this is your last as well. 

It’s what they are obliged to say in the last moments. The same words will be spoken to your family as well. Just a responsibility.

“You will be remembered,” He tells you, his shoulders turn rigid as he turns his full attention on you. “If not by anyone else, by me you will. Your will and memories will live on as long as I live.”

Never did you think you’d be put in a situation where mere words of assurance would prove so much to you. Never did you even think that you’d receive them from the proclaimed stoic captain. It had been a cloudy today, for the reason the sight of an aberrant circling the region near your flank was unnoticed. Till the time a messenger had rode off to relay the news, the destruction had commenced. You had given up as soon as the titan got hold of you, even after you were released from its hold, the sustained wounds and the pain rippling through your gobbled up gut wall were toppling you down into a spiral of decadence.

 The storms running in your head were ruining the garden of clarity until a ray of sunshine pierced through the clouds in the form of Captain Levi.

Humorously, the gloomy sky clears up – the soft warmth of the sun mingling with the air of death falls upon you.

“It’s just the captain can be quite a clean freak so if you want to be in his good books, you should get used to spotless and abrupt cleaning sessions.”

Maybe the vast amount of blood loss was affecting your capability of rational thinking; you hold up your bloodied hand. Without a second thought, Levi seizes it.

“I will kill each and everyone of those bastards who did this to you.”

For reasons unknown, you find tears prickling up your eyes. You choke out a sob as the tears fall down. Your body is weakening but Levi holds your hand in his – interlocking the fingers. The blood drips down from the conjoint to the cufflinks of his shirt; he doesn’t let go. Instead, you are met with a tender touch of him wiping away your tears.

“The pain will end soon enough.”

It will. You need to accept it.

Through the impaired vision, you can make out his beautiful steel blue eyes staring back at you. Tears have not collected over his lashes but the silent intentions evoked by his gaze is more than any emotion you’ve known. It’s a good enough sight for a last sight.

“So will your suffering,” He continues with a cinched determination. However, the grave voice is coated with a tinge of sincerity and an emotion you can’t decipher. “Wherever you go now, you will be free so-” He pauses, swallowing a lump in his throat. “So forget about this wretched world anyway. You are destined for peace.”

It’s ironical but you crack a smile.

Since you were a child, you had perceived death to be scary. Then… Then why was it so beautiful?

It’s so cruel – all of it. It’s the first time you are meeting him but why did it also have to be the last? Couldn’t you be granted just more time for this fateful meeting to happen? But- you assume- but not meeting him ever would cause you a lifetime of regret. Even in this little moment, even with the life slipping from your fingers, even when the illusion of a reaper starts to stall near, you know it’s him. You know it’s him because you couldn’t give any reason. It’s Captain Levi and he’s like the moon you’ve found amidst the veil of stars.

You part your lips and Levi gets the clue that you’re about to speak so he intervenes. “Don’t-” You shake your head, gesturing for him to lean in.

He complies but it’s getting too hard for you to keep your eyes open.

Therefore, you say your first and last words to him.

“Thank you, Captain Levi.”

.

It’s an empty tomb but Levi still stands before it.

Due to urgent reasons, most of the corpses couldn’t be retrieved. Besides, the gloominess of the day which serenaded just after your death made it rather difficult to bring back all the bodies. It doesn’t matter really.

Levi heaves a breath, kneeling down before the tombstone. Like a fever dream he reverts back to the moment when he saw you for the first time. Worn out and clinging to life while your blood stained the grasses red.

He doesn’t know why, neither will be fret himself over knowing the reason. Yet, when he saw you drowning in the ocean of despair, he found himself suffocating as well.

He reaches into his pocket, grasping an object before he sets it over the stone. It’s empty. He knows. You aren’t here. He knows. He had to leave you behind. He knows that as well. Sunlight falls upon the ivory and azure wings of freedom – your insignia of the Survey corps. Levi has never understood the concept of bringing home the corpses. It wouldn’t change a thing. The dead is the dead after all. Dwelling over the past would only affect the present and future. In a way which rarely proves to be good.

However, the memories thrive. They always do. So keeping the brief encounter with you in his memories, he speaks to you for one last time.

“It was an honour to meet you.”

[abiatackerman]

A love that lingers

Event: @levievent "Levi Month 2024"

🩷 Day 6: Love at first sight 🩷

Canon universe! Captain Levi Ackerman X Medic Reader! Postwar Levi! Fluffy love! Sick Reader! Flashbacks! 3.2K words!!!!!

Warnings: Angst, Character death ⚠️

🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷

"We're really tired of hearing the stories of the heroes fighting and dying! We don't wanna hear any fighting stories today!"

Levi looks down at the girl who pouts at him. The other Marley kids who are surrounding him with chocolate and candies in their hands, nod in agreement with the girl.

"We wanna hear a romantic story! Please please, candy uncle! Tell us the love story of the hero you talk about all the time!"

Another little girl speaks up and gives Levi her best pleading eyes. The other kids sit on the ground surrounding him and look at Levi with excitement.....

This is his life now. After the "Battle of Heaven and Earth" has ended, serving candies to the kids and telling them stories is all he's doing.

The stories about him, about survey corps, how the soldiers fought against titans, how they dedicated their lives to humanity and sacrificed their lives and everything. He's telling them everything...

"His love story didn't end up like a fairytale. It's a sad story. Are you sure you all wanna hear it?"

Levi asks softly as he leans into his wheelchair. He never imagined his life would come up to a point where he'll become a story teller. That he'll be telling stories to kids... But here he is, telling stories to the Marleyan kids and getting along with them...

He sometimes wonders.... Would you have been happy if you came to know that he's getting along with kids? That he's known as "Candy uncle" now, not as humanity's strongest soldier? That the kids love him?

Knowing you, you surely would have been....

"Yes candy uncle, we want to. Please tell us!"

The kids say in unison and Levi's face softens. He smiles at them and takes a deep breath and starts speaking....

"It was a long time ago, when the commander called the captain in his room..."

Levi keeps speaking as the first meeting with you flashes in front his eyes. He remembers it vividly. You were in Erwin's room, your hair was tied up in a loose bun some locks were framing your face. You were wearing a casual long white skirt with a short sleeved white shirt.

White, his favourite colour.

"'I'll be in your care, captain.' She said with a genuine sweet smile with a great curiosity and excitement that the captain immediately fell for her. It's not the fact that she was pretty as an angel but the fact that her smile was so innocent and so genuine that the captain couldn't help but feel his heart beating louder than usual. For the first time he was dumbfounded. He was speechless for the new fluttering feeling in his chest that made him feel overwhelmed."

He smiles softly again as he notices the kids are looking at him with widened eyes. Some of them are even blushing.

Levi still doesn't understand why kids love romance stories so much... But he continues anyway.

"She was a medic, in other words the Captain's healer. The captain was her protector who saved her life countless times. It took some time but she fell for the captain too and did her best to heal him. Mentally and physically. She was the only person in this world who knew everything about the strongest soldier."

Levi takes a deep breath as he looks at the kids to make sure they're understanding his words. As he notices there are no confused expressions on their faces, he continues again.

"The captain loved her. A lot. And that's why he always was worried for her. He trained her personally, he knew she would be fine but accidents happen..."

Levi smiles as he looks at the excitement and the curious expressions of the kids. But still they remain silent, waiting for him to continue.

Tolerable brats.

"The accident hurt the captain's lover a lot. She was on the verge of dying. But luckily she was taken to the finest hospital inside the wall and they completely healed her up. She was ok."

Levi remembers it very well. How furious he was when he found your body, covered in blood and rushed to the hospital, with you in his arms. He was so furious on you, on himself, on this world. He was so scared of losing you that he literally threatened the doctor that if you die, he'll kill them. He lost his sanity.....

Levi still remembers how you tried to calm him down, how you assured him as always and told him you were ok. How his worried kiss turned into a passionate one, how he made love to you on the hospital bed which he never imagined he would ever do. He was scared, intense and deep and was trying to go as deep as he could.

*******Flashback*********

"I love these."

Levi huffs as he feels you planting kisses on the various marks littered on his chest, some old, others new, all from the expedition. After the intense love making session, he has cleaned you both up and now both of you are just cuddling.

"Tch. Why would you love these?"

He murmurs as he watches you tenderly run your fingers over the different scars on his skin. It doesn't make sense to him what can be so appealing about his injuries.

"Because they make you 'My Levi'."

There you go again, always killing him with your words. Your smile, your kindness, your touch and anything related to you never fails to make him happy.

God! He loves you! So much!

"You're such a sap, brat."

He can't help the small smile that forms on his lips as he gently grabs your hand and presses a light kiss on your knuckles.

"For you."

You smile as you speak and get on his lap while he is leaning on the headboard.

"One day I'll marry you and give you kids. Mark my words."

He stiffens up a bit at your words. The thought of getting married isn't something Levi would ever think of himself but when you are sitting there on his lap, holding him tight and nuzzling your nose against his, it sounded tempting.

"Tch, good luck with that…"

Though he says that, he can't stop his brain from trying to visualize what you'd look like in a wedding dress.

"I'll drag your ass to church."

You say confidently but he doesn't reply. He is picturing, imagining. The thought of you in a pretty white dress and a flower crown in your hair makes a shiver run up his spine.

"What makes you so sure I'd say yes?"

He asks in a playful tone, raising an eyebrow at you while grabbing your waist with both his hands.

"That's a tough question but I'll figure out something to blackmail you, don't worry. But if I die before that, you'll be saved."

His smirk falls immediately, his face now becoming stoic. Though you know how much he hates talking about death, you still do that sometimes. He grabs your hips harshly.

"Don't joke about that."

He says in a stern, no-nonsense tone, staring deep into your eyes. But suddenly your face falls and you speak in a low voice like you're admitting committing an unforgivable crime.

"I haven't told you yet.... But I..."

You bite your lower lip, bending your head down.

"I don't have much time."

You sound… sad. He doesn't like seeing you like that, and he especially doesn't like the fact that you just said 'you don't have much time'. If you're gonna joke about the topic which is most sensitive to him....

"I've recently discovered..."

Before he can even get the chance to scold you, you speak up.

"I have Muscular Dystrophy. Last stage."

Did you say that you have an incurable disease? You are sick? And you are in the LAST STAGE?

The realisation makes his blood run cold. All of his instincts tells him to do something, anything, to take action and fix it. He’ll kill death itself to extend your life. He doesn't think he can handle losing you.

"T-That…that is…how long…?"

You hug him, hiding your tears and bury your face in his neck.

"Probably not more than a month? I don't know... I can die anytime considering my age. It's a miracle that I'm still alive."

His arms are wrapped around you, holding you tight against his chest. A month. Just a fucking month until he will lose you for forever. A month is nothing. He still hasn’t asked you to marry you, he hasn’t made you his wife, he hasn’t given you the life he has promised you. All the things he wants to do, all the plans he has with you…he can't fit them all in 2 months.

"F-Fuck… A month?… Just a month?!"

"Life goes on, Levi You'll move on too. I'm giving you the permission to fall in love again, you're free to marry and have kids with someone else you'll love."

You try to smile but he can see how hard you are struggling.

Move on? Fall in love again? Have kids with another woman? How could you say that? How can you think that he can ever fall in love with someone that’s not you? How can you think he can ever have kids with somebody other than you.

"Tch… You brat… Don't say things that you don't mean…I won't move on…I won't ever love anyone else again…I don't want anyone that's not you…"

Levi's words make you sob immediately. You hug him tightly as if he's the only one thing you can cling to.

"I'm so sorry.... I never wanted to leave you alone in this world. But I don't have any other way. I'm helpless."

He holds you tighter against his chest, his arms wrapped protectively around you as you cry into his shoulder. He hates this. He hates how you're sobbing and clinging onto him like your life depends on it. And he hates the fact that he can't do anything to fix it.

He is hating everything in this moment. The world. The fact that you're sick. The fact that you will eventually perish. The fact that he can't change it. He feels so useless, so helpless. All he can do is hold you tight and murmur in your ear.

"I don't want you to die either…I don't know why… The world just… It's cruel… Life is cruel… It's not fair…"

He says and cradles you against his chest like you're something fragile and precious, because you are. He still doesn't know how you were able to hide this from him until now and the fact that you have always acted so normally, even he couldn't understand that something was wrong.....

His hands grip your hips even tighter, the fear of losing you making him cling to you even more in an attempt to not let you go.

"Can you.... Can we leave the scouts for a month? Can we just spend the time alone? Just you and me?"

At your request, he nods immediately, without hesitation. He'll do anything to spend time with you at this point.

"Yeah, we can leave. Wherever you want to go."

Time flies by as you and Levi spend your time together in a cottage, away from chaos. He was planning to surprise you with this after proposing to you, but the situation has changed. Like planned, he won't be able to spend his future with you and it pains him every time when he remembers that.

He has been laughing with you, smiling at your goofy jokes, being amazed by your beautiful voice, holding you close, spending the nights kissing you, making love to you in the sweetest way possible. Also he's being more scared knowing that you would leave him any day now.

Levi is sitting by your bed, staring at you as you sleep. He can see the paleness on your skin and your thinning body, a constant reminder of the fact that you are slowly dying. He reaches out and gently caresses your cheek, his heart aching as he thinks of the fact that this might be the last time he'll see you asleep like this. He hates it. He hates this so badly.

He leans in and plants a gentle kiss on your forehead, his lips lingering over the cool skin of your face. You are looking so weak yet peaceful like this, a far cry from how you usually looked. You were always so lively, happy, and energetic. Seeing you like this, pale and weak, looking like a mere husk of your former self, is killing him inside.

He sighs softly as he watches your eyes move under your eyelids, signifying that you are dreaming. He continues caressing your face, his fingers tracing your features, his heart heavy in his chest. He was about to take his hand away but your eyes starts to slowly open, and he freezes when you smile widely. The way you always used to, the smile he always misses....

"I was dreaming about you."

Levi lets out a soft sigh at your words, smiling faintly when you grab his wrist. Your hand feels so frail and cold in his palm.

A painful reminder that you're in the last stage.

"You were? What about?"

He asks, his voice unusually soft.

"A girl was playing with your hair while a boy was using your chest as a punching bag. When I entered the room both of them looked at me and called 'Mama'. I smiled and hopped into the bed with you three. It was a winter night and it was snowing heavily outside. We were cuddling together under the blankets. Four of us."

Levi swallows the lump that’s suddenly formed in his throat as he listens to your words. He can almost picture the vision of the dream you’ve just described. The thought of having small, little children bugging to him, makes him ache a little.

"It was a beautiful dream"

You say and smile as your eyes tears up. Levi gently uses his free hand to wipe your tears away as you begin to cry.

"Doll… Don't cry…"

Suddenly your breathing gets heavier and you grip Levi's shirt tightly.

"Levi, I'm not feeling good. Please don't leave me."

He swallows a lump in his throat, keeping his arms wrapped around you and his face buried in your shoulder, his grip around you grows slightly tighter.

"I won't leave you…I promise I won't. For now you just need to keep breathing…Your breaths are shaky… Just breathe in and out… Slow… Steady… In…. And out…"

He whispers, trying desperately to keep his voice from shaking. He's trying hard to keep himself under control, to not let his fear show, because you don't need to see how absolutely terrified he is of losing you.

"I wanna see mom... Dad... God it's so cold"

His arms tighten around you even more, pulling your body closer to his, trying to heat you up. His heart is breaking at how hopeless you sound, how you're asking to see your parents.

"I know…I know… It's cold… But I'm here…I'll keep you warm… Just relax… Don't talk so much… Save your energy… And try to breathe..."

He says and raises his head from your shoulder. Your face is pale, your body is cold. His blood runs cold as he realises the moment is near.

"Levi.... Everything is starting to get blank.... I can't see you... It's cold... I can't feel you... Where are you? I love you, baby.... Please don't leave me."

You murmur and Levi's voice breaks. His eyes become teary.

"I love you too. I'm here. With you. God I love you."

A sob breaks escapes his lips unintentionally at the last line and he kisses your face to make you feel that he's here.

"Please don't cry... I can feel your tears. I'm just happy that you're with me. I'm glad, I fell in love with you. And you fell for.... Me."

Levi can feel your voice starting to fade, life slowly draining out of you. He can feel the exact moment your breathing stops and he panics, shaking as he tries to wake you up, anything to bring you back to him.

"Hey, no…no…no…don't you dare…Doll…d-don't do this…don't leave me…DON'T YOU DARE LEAVE ME. Please…PLEASE…don't die…DO NOT DIE ON ME."

For the first time in his life, his brain is completely blank. He can't do anything except hold you, his entire body shaking as he tries to wake you up, but he knows that it's hopeless. He knows that you're already gone, that he's far too late.

He doesn't know how long he spends with your lifeless body wrapped in his arms, his eyes tear-soaked as he keeps hoping to see you move even a little, just another sign of life, but he gets none. He stays there, holding you in his arms, staring at you wordlessly, his heart feeling like it's being squeezed in a tight grip. You're gone now, and he's left all alone, to exist in a world where the love of his life is gone forever.

********* Flashback ends*********

"So after his lover's death, he totally focused on killing the titans. He dedicated his heart only to make the world safe. And that's his love story."

Levi finishes his story and gives them a bitter smile. The kids are silent, some of them are pouting, some of them even have tears in their eyes. Some even sobs making Levi sigh.

"Listen brats I don't know if you guys will be able to understand it now but here's some advice. Before you love something you should remember that the thing you're loving so much might break or disappear or the person you're loving can die."

A girl looks up at him with teary eyes and asks in a low voice.

"Then we shouldn't love anything, because we'll be so sad if we're gonna lose that!"

All kids nod and Levi sighs.

No, he definitely won't forbid the kids from loving someone. How can he tell them not to enjoy the amazing feeling? Plus you'll be mad as hell if he's just gonna tell them not to fall in love, right?

"True, it'll make you brats sad but you guys should enjoy the times you're gonna play with your favourite toys, remember the sweetest memories you make. Yes, the captain was so sad when his lover died but he was happy too! Because he fell in love with her, spent a lot of time with her and made a lot of sweet memories with her. He'll never regret falling for her, for loving her. Now, get up all of you! It's time for you all to return to your tents! Good night, brats!"

Levi twirls his wheelchair and keeps moving as the kids wish him goodnight. He smiles as he looks at the sky. It's almost evening and the sun is already gone.

Seven years ago, right at this time of the day, on a autumn evening, he met you.

In that white skirt, with a charming smile you dedicated yourself to him and he unconsciously dedicated his heart to you. You left him two years later at the same time of the day, on a winter evening with a weak smile, saying 'I love you' and taking his heart with yours.

But still, he'll never stop loving you, he'll never forget you and sure as he'll never regret loving you.

Even though you're gone, the love you gave him is still lingering with him. And it always will......

[randomlevithoughts]

Random Levi thought #12

Loving Levi is suffering in silence. His love isn't him pining over you, giving you gifts, trying to win you over. It's silent, yet so loud. It's him always making you tea whenever he makes himself one, it's him always making sure that your gear is functioning properly, it's him always telling you to be careful before a mission but it's never him to tell you the words that lay in his heart. He will never tell but you'll know it. That's the part that hurts the worst because it's duty before love.

[violet-fluff]

Levi x Suicidal! Reader

Kiss of Life

Finally.

I can finally sleep.

Well…more like relax.

Sleeping is hard to do when I’m floating in a galaxy void.

I see stars and auroras of blues, purples and greens coming near me as I float around them.

It feels like I’m laying on a cloud, as my limbs dangle comfortably, and my hair floats around me.

I’ve never been in such peace before.

It makes me tear up.

I smile as I watch those tears float above me and bounce away into the stars.

“Womp womp womp womp…”

It sounds like talking in the distance.

It becomes louder and more annoying as I try to peacefully relax in my galaxy.

‘Leave me alone.’

I say it in my head, but it booms into the open space.

An orb of light appears, and it almost blinds me with it’s bright yellow illumination.

‘Too bright.’

I squint my eyes as the orb gets bigger and brighter.

‘No. Go away.’

The closer I get to the orb, the more I feel a heavy pressure in my chest, causing me to sputter out some coughs.

‘Ouch. This hurts.’

My chest gets heavier and heavier, and I feel a wetness splatter onto my face as I cough uncontrollably.

I give one more heavy cough as my body rushes into the bright orb, and suddenly I launch myself up, trying to breathe as more wetness splatters onto my face and then down my body.

“We got her back!”

“Thank the Gods!”

My vision is blurry. I can’t quite make out what’s happening around me.

“Look at me. Now.”

This voice is next to me. Angry and loud.

My vision clears and I see Levi’s angry face right next to mine. The bottom half of his face where his mouth is, is wet.

“What happened…” I croak out. “Where am I?”

Petra kneels next to me and pulls me forward into a hug. “Don’t do that again!” She cries. “Come to us next time!”

As my head lay on Petra’s shoulder, I stare blankly at Levi, confused as to what’s happened.

“You tried to drown yourself, idiot.” He blurts out with a furrow of his brows. “I had to breath the water out of you.”

“Captain, don’t be too harsh on her. You literally just brought her back to life.” Gunther tries to plead with his captain to not put you right back into a bad mental state.

“I felt it.” I say with a strained voice. “It was peaceful.” I relax against Petra. “Dying was peaceful.”

They all look at me solemnly as I reminisce.

Later that night, Levi is preparing a cup of tea for me as I lay in bed. My head is relaxed against the soft pillows as I sit and watch him delicately steep the leaves.

As the leaves steep in the hot water, he walks over and sits on the edge of the bed next to my legs.

He sighs and leans forward, giving me a gentle, but desperate, kiss.

“The only time my mouth should be on yours is to kiss you. Not to bring you back to life.”

[jjkamochoso]

I’ll Be There for You

Angst, fluff

Levi Ackerman x gn!reader

Levi comes to your rescue when you’re dealing with negative feelings/depression :)

Warnings: cussing, negative self talk, allusions to depression, thoughts of death

A/n: if this fic helps even one person feel a bit better, then I’ve done my job🫶 much love to any of you who are or ever have felt this way; you’re worthy, you’re loved, and you have so much more life to experience so please don’t give up and always keep fighting❤️ I’m here for anyone who needs it and don’t be afraid to reach out!! Much love to you all❤️

Quite simply, you just wanted to lay in your bed and rot into the mattress, never to be seen again.

You didn’t know what brought on these feelings, you just knew you wanted no part of them. You would much rather sleep the hours away in hopes that they would leave on their own, but that wasn’t an option; you had to go to work. Trying to get out of bed each day was a Herculean task when it felt like your limbs were made of concrete. Inside your head were swirling thoughts of insecurities pertaining to every facet of your life.

I’m horrible at my job.

Everyone’s too busy to care about me, I’m not worth their time.

No one would care if I died.

You sighed, slinging your uniform jacket over your shoulders. You didn’t bother looking in your small mirror, figuring that seeing your appearance would only make your thoughts worse. You grabbed some files from your office as you made your way past the dining hall, opting to forgo breakfast. You had little appetite the last week, not having enough energy or care to fuel your body. You were just filing paperwork anyway, it wasn’t like you were doing anything important or worthwhile. Normally you would smile as you heard the chatter of your comrades chowing down on their meals, but lately it brought you no joy, instead leaving your heart heavy with an indescribable sadness. Your boots slammed against the floor, each step as difficult as the one before it. You trudged along to your superior’s office, dropping off some of the files before heading back to your own office, not looking forward to report writing the next few hours. You barely registered the presence of someone else in the hallway next to you, your surroundings unimportant as you pleaded with the universe to let you hide away in your office, alone and unbothered.

The universe was not so kind.

“You look like shit,” Levi commented, his eyebrows knitted in concern.

You snorted as you kept walking. “Thanks, Captain.”

Normally you would have a sarcastic remark at the ready, but you weren’t in the mood.

“Are you sick?” He walked in time with you.

You hesitated before answering. “I… don’t feel well.”

Levi quickly moved away several inches.

“It’s not contagious,” you added. His expression was unreadable.

“You haven’t eaten much lately.” he observed.

“Not hungry,” you replied, causing him to roll his eyes.

“Shitty excuse. What’s wrong?”

“Nothing, okay? I’m fine,” you said through clenched teeth, fighting the urge to scream. You didn’t want him to know of your internal pain. You couldn’t show Humanity’s Strongest Soldier how weak you were. You picked up the pace to your office as Levi walked right next to you, offering you silent companionship. Under different circumstances you would be chatting away with the man, but right now you wanted to wallow in your despair by yourself and not be questioned about your lack of food or hygiene.

“This is me. I’ll see you around.”

You tried to slam the door closed as fast as you could, but his lithe leg was faster, blocking it with his foot.

He narrowed his eyes. “You’re a horrible liar.”

“I’m tired, that’s all,” you tried to reason, hoping he would either believe you or get the hint you really didn’t want to talk about this with him. Levi peeked behind you and caught a glimpse of your office, making him frown at what he saw. Your desk, usually rivaling his level of cleanliness and organization, was such a mess that he could barely stomach it. You noticed his eyes wandering and you shoved yourself closer into the doorframe to block his view.

“Anything else I can help you with?” you asked, clearly frustrated with him.

“No. Take care of yourself, L/n. I have no need for a squad leader who can’t perform at their best.”

With that, he pulled his boot from your doorframe and left you to replay those words over and over in your head.

As Levi left your office, he couldn’t shake the feeling that something was really wrong with you. Your desk being such a wreck was totally out of the norm. Obviously you were lying about only being tired, but he didn’t know what the source of your issues was. Walking down the hallway, he saw that your bedroom door was left ajar. He wasn’t one to invade others’ privacy, but you were acting quite strange and, as a captain, he had a duty to make sure his peers were alright. Well, you two were more than peers anyway; he considered you a close friend and a trustworthy comrade. He hated seeing your lack of motivation, knowing you were capable of so much more, and thought his harsh words earlier would give you the boost you needed to get a grip and snap out of your funk.

What he saw when he opened your bedroom door made his skin crawl.

Your normally tidy, clean room was in a state of utter chaos. Your clothes were strewn haphazardly all over the place, your bed wasn’t made, sheets falling on the floor. Your gear wasn’t cleaned properly, nor was it resting in its rightful place. What was going on with you? He left as quickly as he came in, having seen enough. You hadn’t been cleaning or eating, two important daily tasks that never slipped your mind. You looked like you hadn’t bathed in many days or been bothered to monitor your appearance whatsoever. You weren’t ill because you wouldn’t lie to him about not being contagious.

So what was it?

He thought about your glassy, empty eyes. Your expression was mostly neutral, but he could see through the facade you were putting up; you were deeply troubled by something.

You were suffering mentally and he had just now noticed.

He cursed at himself for not realizing it earlier. Between his own never ending piles of work and lack of sleep, more so than usual, he hadn’t noticed the signs of you pulling away from everyone until much too late. His mind reeled at what he should do next. There were so many things that needed to be done to kickstart your healing process, he just didn’t know where to start.

Actually, he did.

It had been hours and you had barely written anything on the paper in front of you, your brain unable to focus on work long enough to form professional sentences. You wanted to rip the stack of papers into teeny little shreds, take out your mental anguish on something tangible. You thought back to what Levi had said: he had no need for you, since, clearly, you were as far from your best as you could ever be. You couldn’t even find it within yourself to care, numbness overtaking you. It was just a matter of time before you were fired, discharged, and thrown to the streets. Maybe there you could disappear for good…

Knocks at your door interrupted your spiraling thoughts.

“Name and business,” you called out, less than enthused.

“It’s Levi. Open up.”

You groaned. You didn’t want him to see your office in disarray, though you suspected he had seen enough earlier.

“Is it urgent?”

“I’ll kick down the door if you don’t let me in.”

“Guess that’s a yes,” you grumbled under your breath.

“No need to damage government property. It’s unlocked,” you told him, hinges creaking as he stepped inside. In his hands were a steaming cup of tea and some bread that he set in front of you.

“Here. You can’t starve yourself,” he said.

“I appreciate the gesture but I’m not hungry,” you reiterated.

“Stop being so damn stubborn and have at least a little bite. Or drink the tea. I won’t watch you waste away,” he argued, irises aflame with an intense emotion you couldn’t pinpoint. You didn’t want to be a further disappointment so you nibbled on the bread, your stomach coming to life with gurgles of hunger as you swallowed the welcome nutrients. Levi looked around for a place to sit but all of your chairs were occupied by opened books and papers you hadn’t stacked neatly.

“Sorry about the mess, you can just stick those on the floor with the other piles,” you said, embarrassed at your lack of tidying. He took a seat and watched you intently as you ate and drank. When he was satisfied with the progress of your meal, he spoke up.

“I’m not… good… with my words,” he started, more hesitant than you’d ever known him to be, “but I want you to know that I’m available for you no matter what. I won’t let you suffer alone.”

“Really, Levi, I appreciate it, but it’s nothing, I’m-”

“Your office is a mess and your room is a disaster. Your mannerisms have changed. I know you, y/n, I know something’s off. I failed at seeing it sooner and I let you down.”

His gray eyes bore into your own. “But I’m here now. I’ll do everything in my power to keep you from losing yourself. Whatever you need.”

Your gaze dropped to your desk.

“I don’t know what I need,” you whispered. “I don’t know what I need to feel better. To make all of this go away.”

“That means we won’t stop trying things until we find a solution,” Levi responded, resolute in his statement.

“We?” you asked, uncertain of what he meant.

“That’s what I said. You’re not fighting on your own. We’re in this together.”

“But I’m weak for feeling like this. I don’t want to be another burden on you or anyone else.”

You couldn’t dare look Levi in the eyes during your confession, afraid of how he was viewing you as you displayed your most vulnerable moments out in the open like this. He stood abruptly from his chair, the sound of wood scraping on wood echoing through your office. He leaned over you, his hands gentle yet firm on your shoulders.

“Look at me.” You slowly raised your head as he addressed you, his bangs hanging haphazardly over his forehead. “Don’t ever say something so stupid like that again. This is not weakness and you’re not a burden. That’s your shitty brain lying to you. I will repeat this as many times as I need to until your ears bleed or your mind starts believing it.”

He gave your shoulders one last squeeze before unhanding you. “You can talk to me if that helps. I might not have the right words but I’ll listen. It’s a hell of a lot better than keeping it bottled up inside. I’ve seen soldiers swallow it down until they couldn’t stand it any longer. I won’t let that happen to you, too.”

You nodded in understanding, taking in a big breath before letting it out. “Okay. Okay, yeah. I’ll try… talking about it.”

“Good. You do that while I’ll clean this pig sty you call an office.”

You laughed for the first time in weeks. Levi felt himself smile softly at the joyous sound he had missed for so long, his heart beating a little quicker at the way your expression was lively once again.

Your venting session with Levi went extremely well. You felt like the weights had been lifted off your shoulders a little bit. Obviously you weren’t cured and knew these feelings were going to linger and could strike at any time, but it was nice knowing you had someone to turn to when things looked bleak. Your office, now spotless due to his efforts, also contributed to your mind feeling more organized.

“Four eyes has good advice, too, but you might get experimented on so be careful,” Levi said, making you laugh for the second time that day. Before he left, he made you swear that you would eat dinner. “I’ll personally drag your ass to the dining hall,” is specifically what he said, and you wholeheartedly believed him.

“Thanks again,” you told him as he reached for the door handle. “I genuinely don’t know what I would do without you.”

He froze.

“You’ll never have to know,” he eventually uttered, taking his leave.

Later that night, when your work was finished and your stomach was full of food, you huffed in annoyance when you remembered the state your room was in. Bracing yourself for the disappointing scene, you opened your door to:

A clean room?

You walked inside, confused as could be. Your sheets were back on your bed, everything crisply tucked in. Your clothes were put away, both hanging up and folded neatly in your dresser drawers. Even your gear, which was left covered in muck and dirt from your last training session, was shining as brightly as the day it was first issued to you.

There was only one person you knew who could clean that precisely and quickly.

Your attention was caught by a sachet of tea and a small piece of paper left on your nightstand. You picked up the note, a tear staining your cheek as you read the meticulous penmanship.

Here’s some of my favorite tea. It’s brought me comfort in the past so I hope the same for you.

If you don’t know how to brew it correctly, come find me.

Like I said before, take care of yourself.

I believe in you.

—Levi

[arlerts-angel]

I needs some comfort Mack! I just watched the ending of AOT and I'm not okay.😭😭😭

a/n: since i know levi is your favorite, enjoy some levi comfort. 🤍

warnings: canonverse | post-war!levi | hurt/comfort | mentions of injuries, nightmares + flashbacks | reader is gender neutral

nobody could prepare for the devastation following the battle of heaven and earth, not even humanity's strongest.

a scar across his face, two missing fingers, partial sight, and now wheelchair bound; his days are spent relearning how to live life in a brand new, unfamiliar body. he'd argue that nights are worse as sleep is seldom, and what little sleep he does manage to get, is plagued by nightmares and flashbacks. he jolts awake, terrified when he opens his eyes and sees nothing.

right, he thinks as he sits up, i still have vision in my left. you're easily wakened by his shifting. "levi? do you need something?" you ask softly, words laced with sleep.

"just another nightmare's all." the veteran sighs. you sit up next to him.

"just? levi..." you start, but are quickly cut off.

"this is not a life you deserve, y/n. taking care of me like an infant... it was't supposed to be like this... i'm so sorry." his voice cracks as he finds the strength to continue. "i have to let you go because i love you and i want you to live the life i wasn't able to give you."

tears well in your eyes. "i love you too levi, but the only life i want to live is the one i spend with you. i'm not leaving you... for better or for worse; that was our promise... and i intend on keeping that promise, sir." you reply, reminding him of the wedding band he wears on his left hand.

he swallows the lump in his throat and hangs his head apologetically. "i don't deserve you, but i am grateful and i will spend the rest of my sorry life making sure you know that."

you hug him tight and kiss his cold shoulder. "c'mon now, back to bed we go." you urge, falling into the bed together.

"i love you, mr. ackerman." you yawn as your head finds it's home on his chest.

"i love you too," he replies, "thank you."

"for what?" you ask.

"for everything."

banners by benkeibear

[hornyanimegirl]

Pairing: Levi x Reader

Series Masterlist

Warning: pregnancy, mentions of abortion

“I’ll be okay.”

It was suffocating. You were suffocating. The child in your stomach filled you with so much overwhelming joy. With so much anxiousness. You felt like you would throw up any second and it wasn’t because of morning sickness. The thought of taking care of a baby with the love of your life was exhilarating. Enough to bring a smile on your face.

But you were scared. Terrified that this baby would not bring happiness. Terrified that it would tear you away from Levi.

“Looks like you’re six weeks in ma’am. We can set up an appointment for next week to do your first ultrasound.”

You were sat up on the hospital bed. You hadn’t looked up at the doctor since your change in position. Your eyes were dull, and dark eye bags highlighted your lack of sleep.

This was supposed to be a joyous moment in your life. You were about to be a mom, well if you kept the baby that is. But all this brought was an excessive amount of emotions that gave you a headache. You loved Levi so much and you know he loved you just as much, you didn’t doubt it for a second. But there was one annoying part of you that thought that Levi would leave. That he wouldn’t want to be a father.

Of course that was entirely his choice. The question was would you keep the baby even without him there. Raise them as a single mother. You might, you’ve always wanted to be a mother. The love your parents showed you when you were young, how happy you all were as a family was an indicator enough that you wanted one for yourself, a family. This realization was like a slap in the face, a punch in the gut, but also a relief in itself.

You would do this, you would keep the baby whether Levi was there or not. No matter how much the thought of him not raising your baby together hurt you.

Imagining it now caused a hole to form in your stomach, no Levi. No father for your child. No family Halloween costumes, no family Christmas pajamas. You wouldn’t watch your child’s dance recitals or basketball games together. You wouldn’t talk to Levi about how fast time flies and how you can’t believe how much they’ve grown.

You needed to stop thinking like this, you haven’t told Levi you were pregnant. The future isn’t set and stone. But you knew whatever happened, you were going to be a mother to this baby.

Next

Taglist: open

@daoreogirl  @galactict3a   @thel0v3hashira143​  @angelsceeee   @donaldthrts @  may-machin @donaldthrts  @dunnowhy-m @thisslowcracker @cheoriemoawa 

[hotcheetogirlluver]

can you please do one where reader can be stoic and emotionless like she's a tsundere (she's hard and rough on the outside but once you get to know her her sweeter bubbly side shows later on) and Levi has the fastest crush on her. her trauma she went through when she was younger makes her oblivious to when people genuinely have a crush on her because she oversees that. she shows her soft side as she befriends him and him being nervous around her hurts her feelings really badly. she just breaks and returns to being expressionless, rough, and quiet. Levi starts to feel guilty when she doesn't smile at him anymore or when she ignores him and doesn't speak to him. her friends are pretty worried blah, blah, blah. finally he apologizes after weeks of not speaking but she's fighting it because of her insecurities and trauma. LOTS OF ANGST I BEG YOU 😭😭😭!! and ofc fluff at the end 🤧🥺💗 (sorry it's super long have a beautiful day and I hope you can make this!)

A/N: ofc!!! i love this idea POOKS! Im a sucker for angst too honestly 😭😭. but I will gladly do this story and just a warning it is very long. ENJOY, THOUGH!!💓

Summary: Levi has a huge crush on (Y/n). She's completely oblivious, and sees his 'flirting' as cruelly bullying her. One day she's in his office casually talking to him and since he gets awkward with her because of the fat crush he has, he hurts her feelings in a way no one has ever hurt her.

WARNINGS ⚠️ : swear words, talks of disorders, talks of molestation and uses word rape

s/t: skin tone

h/c: hair color

y/n: your name

e/c: eye color

-!!ANGST!! FLUFF!!-

__________________________________________________________

Levi looked over at (Y/n). She was speaking with some cadets, giving them tips on fighting and dueling and such. Dressed in her usual black cloak with a hood over her head.

His usual stoic face looking over his shoulder to stare at her. If only she didn't wear that stupid cloak every single day and maybe it would be easier to catch a glance at her face.

The cadets looked like they respected her.. Listening in closely and trying to focus on every single word she was saying to them.

“Captain Levi?” A male voice made him turn around and stare the person down who just caught his attention.

“What is it?” His voice dripping in slight annoyance made Eren sweat nervously.

“You looked sort of a trance there! Just making sure you're still alive, sir!” Levi's glare only hardened and Eren slowly stepped away from him.

“Go spar with Armin. You both need the practice. You must be bored if you came over here just to bother me.” Eren nodded rapidly.

“Right away, Captain!” He took off and Levi looked back at (Y/n).

“You're doing it completely wrong, cadet. Straighten your stance as if you're prepared to fight someone right now.” She was way more sweeter than he was. Recently she's started to show her soft side and it always sent a warm shot through his heart.

Of course he would never show it, his usual unimpressed mask on at all times. He watched as Sasha corrected her fighting stance.

“Like this (Y/n)?” (Y/n) nodded with a cute smile and sent her a thumbs up.

“Way better!” She praised with a small clapping of her hands.

“Can we eat now?! I’m dying to eat I haven't eaten in like 30 minutes! When's the next break?? I'm literally starving to death-” A strong kick was directed to Sasha’s stomach, sending her to the ground roughly.

“OW-” Sasha rubbed her stomach in pain. “You have no concept of the idea of starvation, cadet.” (Y/n) set her hands on her hips.

“Let alone starving to death.”

Levi couldn't help but just watch the scene unfolding in front of him.

… Well that took a different turn. His stoic face, trying to contain the curiosity flowing through his veins at the moment.

… Why the sudden change of attitude? She was sweet and turned bitter in a second's notice. His head tilted upward a bit. His bangs almost hitting his eyes, barely brushing against his eyelashes.

“10 laps, Sasha.”

“B-But Captain!-”

“20 laps.” Sasha groaned internally and got up as (Y/n) eyed her.

“You'd think a lady that small would be more laid back.” Eren muttered watching from afar as well behind Levi.

“Well weight doesn't necessarily matter in the Survey Corps, Eren. It's mainly all about the soldier's intelligence and strength. Just look at you and me. Plus, usually the smaller ones are more aggressive.”

Levi's eyes immediately looked to the side, and his body turned to look at Eren and Armin.

“You two! Go join cadet Sasha on her 20 lap jog.” The two boys looked at each other with shocked facial expressions and Eren sighed heavily.

“If I were you Eren, I'd save my breath for the laps. And word of advice, try not to whisper so loud next time you're talking about someone important.”

“WHAT?! Someone important? Captain Levi, it's all so clear now! You have a big crush on Captain-”

“30 laps.” Levi turned away from Eren and Armin, as the pink flush was beginning to settle on his pale cheeks.

His hard gaze was set on her once again as he turned. Eren shook his head annoyed but still was too intimidated by Levi to not jog the 30 laps.

“The smaller ones really are the most aggressive-”

“Eren stop talking!” Armin cut him off as they began jogging to the field.

(Y/n) wiped some sweat from her forehead.

‘Maybe it wouldn't be so bad to lose the black cloak.’ She began to slip it over her head and threw it on the grass. Levi kept his face as emotionless as he could with the sight in front of him.

She shook her head around a bit trying to let her scalp breath. Her hair was really thin/thick, short/long, wavy/curly/straight. Her skin a s/t, really glowing in the sunlight. Her hair a beautiful h/c. And then there was her eyes..

Shit.

Her eyes were fucking gorgeous.

The color red set on the tips of Levi's ears, watching her being so effortlessly beautiful. He tried pushing the new fluttering feeling he felt to the very bottom pit of his stomach.

Her eyes were big e/c eyes, with dark eyelashes. Long eyelashes.

Fuck.. he's simping.

That's disgusting and shameful. He tried to snap out of it. But..

Suddenly she turned her gaze to him. A small smile on her lips.(Y/n) walked over to him, her heeled boots, she always wore giving her the smallest bit of height.

“Levi!” Her hands were behind her back as she gave him a wider, sweeter smile. Oh no.. was she walking towards him? At least give him some time to think about what he should say?!

“I haven't seen you in a while it's felt like! I've been busy with those stupid non-stop expeditions though. I feel like I would see you more often if you come out of your office more. Not like once every blue moon,” Her head tilted to the side wearing a bright smile on her face. Which was rare.

“Y’know?” She's right. Levi’s been in his office doing paperwork and signing and reading information from all sorts of documents. It's energy draining going through paper after paper and still never meeting an end.

Sometimes very rarely when he would actually leave his office and would see her walking in the castle halls it made his day a tad more bearable to deal with.

But to him it was somewhat a good thing being locked in his office day and night. Recently he's noticed he's starting to hold feelings towards the h/c. Deep feelings. To the point where he gets awkward and nervous fast if she's even around him.

He's been practicing on handling that calmly and coolly though.

“Y-Yeah. Haven't seen you in a while either.”

…… Wow. Just wow Ackerman.

… He wished he could stab himself with the swords he uses to kill Titans with. Seriously Ackerman?! That was painful. Embarrassing. You should walk away now. And leaving this world and existence would probably be for the better too.

(Y/n) scanned Levi's face intensely as his eyes avoided hers.

“Levi, are you okay?” She put a hand on her chin and the other hand set on her hip as she leaned to the side to meet his eyes.

“Fine.” He responded dryly.

Hm.. What's going on with him? He looks.. nervous? Levi? Nervous? Maybe she was getting this wrong. She was terrible at reading people. She always was.

“You took off your cloak.” Levi suddenly said with an awkward cough, and looked at her hair. (Y/n) pushed some hair behind her ear and nodded with a smile. Those rare smiles made Levi’s heart beat against his ribs.

“About time right? It's been so cruelly hot outside these past couple days.” She waved a hand in front of her face jokingly.

“Y-Your hair..”

“My hair?”

“It's not as shitty as I thought it'd look.” Levi said non chanantly.

“Oh.”

“Do you even brush your hair though? It looks messy as hell. Don't have enough time on your hands to brush your hair or something?"

… Ouch. A knife sliced her heart and she just blinked before laughing small, quiet and uncomfortably. Well that definitely stung.

“Well, actually I brush my hair each morning and night before I fall asleep. It's a daily routine I don't intend to skip out on at all.” (Y/n) ran a hand through her hair consciously with an awkward smile on her face replacing the bright one from earlier.

“Is that so?” He replied unamused.

“Mhm!” She nodded her head before turning her head to the side with a light pink tint color covering her cheeks in embarrassment.

“Anyways Captain! I'm going to head back to my office. It.. It was nice seeing you! Mind telling Sasha she’s allowed to take a break when she’s finished with her 20 laps?” (Y/n) turned around not letting Levi respond and walked over to her cloak on the ground throwing it over her head before leaving the training grounds.

His once fast heartbeat slowed down to the normal speed. ‘What the fuck, idiot.’ He told himself. Why did he say that? Why did he say that??

“ ‘It's not as shitty as I thought it'd look.’ ” He mocked himself in a harsh whisper.

“You idiot, why in the world would you say that to her? You made her uncomfortable you fucking dumbass. That's why she was in such a hurry to leave you.” Levi tried to forget about the encounter with (Y/n) he just had, feeling tormented with guilt enough as it is.

‘Just stop being so nervous around her Levi.’ He ran a hand through his under shave.

_________________________________________________________

Meanwhile (Y/n) pulled the cloak's hood closer to her head as she tried to calm her racing heart and her heavy breathing.

Levi thinks her hair is messy.

And he thinks she doesn't brush it? Does he see it as disgusting? Looked like it.

(Y/n) stared at the stone floors as her heeled boots clicked against them. Which means everyone who was at the training grounds earlier saw her hair as disgusting too then.

She closed her eyes for a second and shook her head. Get it together (Y/n). It's fine.

… But what if it isn't? This reminded her of back then..

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Two grown men held onto (Y/n) wrists on either side of her pretty tightly. It felt like they were cutting her circulation off. She was 6 years old at the time.

Her mother sold her to some sketchy group from the Underground to get some money and to keep her house. (Y/n) had several bruises on her arms and face.

Those cruel bastards. She looked up at the tall man in front of her, with wide eyes.

“This rats nest of hair you got here is fucking gross. It looks like shit. You need to become extra beautiful, gorgeous.” He smirked with a sinister look in his eyes.

He held out a knife and suddenly just cut off half her hair. Her eyes widened more.

W-What? Why did he do that? Why did her mom even sell her to these men? They've hurt her, said horrible things to her, and now this? What's going on?? What are they going to do to her? She trembled in fear, heart about to leap out of her chest as she watched her long locks of hair fall to the dirty ground.

“Perfect, gorgeous.” The man brushed his hand through her hair with that creepy smirk still on his face. Then he nodded at both of the men who were holding her wrists tightly.

“W-Wait! Sir! What are you going to do to me?” He only darkly chuckled and waved a hand to a room.

“You’ll see in a second.” He kicked his lips and tilted the hat he was wearing down some more. The two men at her sides started dragging her to the room.

“W-Wait! Stop! P-Please, let me go! Stop i-it!” (Y/n) kicked her feet and struggled against the tight grip they had on her.

“Sir!”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

(Y/n) stared down at her hands. She tried to shake away the memories she just thought of. Truth is.. She wasn't ever raped in the Underground. But… She was molested. And it definitely wasn't just once.

Those disgusting men down there.. Made some part of her life hell. A huge part of her life hell.

Those memories never leave you.

They stick with you.

And (Y/n) still got shivers thinking about it.

‘It's different.’ She told herself. It was the main reason she was insecure, about everything. All of those people from that sketchy group all those years ago.. They caused her pain and misery.

Trauma.

Why does she always wear a cloak? To cover her body from society's eyes. Feeling like she’s fat half the time and feeling like people don't like the sight of fat women. Resulting in not eating for weeks sometimes. Why does she wear a hood? To cover her face and hair. Her hair being “messy” and her face not complimenting her body.

Her hair always made her question her looks. But then again she always questioned her looks. Because of them. Like.. Why does everybody stare at her that way? Why are they looking at her? What's wrong with her?

She clenched her shirt near her heart.

Of course Levi doesn't like her. How could he? He's Humanities Strongest. (Y/n) thought she and Levi were getting close. And then all of a sudden he can't even look her in the eye and he seems more.. nervous around her. But like she said earlier, that word doesn't quite fit him.

They were both distant.

She wasn't going to lie though, at first it was hard to become friends with him. Or anybody really. She’s really antisocial and she too has a stoic, expressionless, mask on at all times. That's how she is with people she doesn't know. And when she didn't have friends.

She didn't mind though. That's how it had been her whole life. She's probably only had 1 friend from her younger years. She can't remember clearly though. When she first joined the Survey Corps no one would talk to her. She understood somewhat though. She did look a little sketchy wearing her black cloak everyday with a literal impassive look on her face all the time.

Made matters worse when she refused to remove her hood.

But when Hange Zoë sat with her one day in the mess hall, (while she stared at her food plainly not planning on eating it) and invited her to sit at their table she stared blankly at her for the longest minute (making Hange sweat drop) but accepted.

But she thought her and Levi were getting close. The awkward short talks turned to long conversations about small things. Both of their emotionless faces, cracked a smile or two when around each other.

She even discovered that way, her crush on him.

(Y/n) enjoyed his presence. She thought he was a good leader, really independent and honestly.. funny.

Maybe it's one sided love though.

Maybe she's just blinded by her stupid crush on him.

Recently he's been really.. mean towards her. He's been insulting her every time she sees him. And it's sort of been a good thing she hasn't seen him in weeks because he's been trapped in his office doing mile high paperwork.

It hurts her heart every time he says something harsh to her. She never says anything back though. But next time maybe she will. He's been hurting her self esteem and bringing back unfondly memories she would rather not think about. She has to stand up to him for once.

Usually she is really blunt. And really, really honest. But with Levi and her friends her soft side is brought out. (Y/n) nodded mentally, realizing her heartbeat slowed down and her heavy breathing calmed down.

She took one last deep breath, before walking to her office for the afternoon. She, too, needs to finish paperwork.

________________________________________________________

Levi sat at his desk. His eyes scanned the writing on the documents he was reading. He was a fast reader.

But he hated every time he would read through essays of information for the Survey Corps, because most of the time it reminded him of the Underground.

Where he didn't even know how to read until later on in his life.

He rubbed a hand on his forehead. Why was he thinking about that now?

He has work to do. It's better if he just finished it all sooner than later.

In Levi’s office it was silent.

His office was a very serene room. He preferred it that way though. It helped him focus more, and if it was placed next to a loud room he would probably kill the neighbor right next to him. He sighed, feeling the smallest amount of loneliness for the past few weeks. Sometimes it was somewhat depressing being so isolated. And feeling so isolated too.

He shook his head.Focus Levi. You're getting off topic.

When he was about to start reading again he heard 2 knocks on his door. He straightened himself out, organized the papers as quickly as he could, and calmed his facial features down.

“State your name and business.” He called.

“It's (Y/n). Mind if I come in, Levi?” Levi’s eyes widened ever so slightly as his pulse skyrocketed.

‘Calm down Levi. Act natural.’

“C-Come in.” He cursed himself as soon as the stutter left his lips.

‘Stop acting so nervous! Your Humanity's Strongest, this is embarrassing.’ (Y/n) brushed off Levi’s stutter, and opened his office door as she walked in with a plate of food.

“What do you need, Captain (Y/n)?”

The awkwardness soon left her features when she heard that. A laugh escaped her lips, as she continued to walk towards him.

“Why are you acting so formal all of a sudden Levi? You know we’ve talked before like friends, not colleagues, right?” She let out a small giggle and a charming smile as she set the plate down on his desk.

“Oh, r-right. Of course.” His cheeks quickly were dusted with a warm pale pink as he coughed an awkward cough to cover up his second noticeable stutter.

“What is this?” He asked unexpressively. He looked down at the plate of food.

“What? Never seen a plate of food before or something? Or has it really been that long since you’ve eaten, Levi?” She sat down in the chair in front of him with a soft sigh.

“I mean come on isn't it obvious?” ‘Isn't it obvious I'm a bit worried for you, you cruel jerk?’ She played with the ends of her cloak in her hands.

Levi knew what a plate of food was. He just hadn't eaten the whole day. He trained the cadets in the morning, and in the afternoon he was locked in his office again. And now it's dinner.. and he's still in his office.

“I haven't seen you eat the whole day. I'm..” Blood traveled to her face as her cheeks began to flush.

“You need to eat Levi. Taking a small break from all this pile of work isn't going to hurt you.” (Y/n) smiled gently and Levi could feel his stomach doing backflips. Or.. it could just be the hunger taking its toll on him.

He felt incredibly grateful he even had someone like (Y/n) in his life. Why did she care for him? Why was she so bubbly towards him? Why did she let her mask fall, after only a couple of conversations in his office?

He never knew how to talk to women correctly though. He didn't know the ‘correct’ way. Did he ever thank them appropriately? He thought he did.

Thing is, he never knows when he truly fucks up.

“Funny thing you're telling me to eat Captain (Y/n), when you don't even eat for weeks yourself.”

“... What?” Her heart dropped.

Another stab to her wounded heart. Her walls were down and everything and he just attacked so easily? She was feeling vulnerable with him and thought this one time there would be no hurtful words directed at her.

… Guess she was wrong.

“I think it's amusing that you're telling me to eat when you don't know how to do that yourself.” Levi rested his elbows on his desk, connecting his hands.

Suddenly a burning flame crawled up her neck as her cheeks burned with embarrassment. Snap out of it, idiot.

“Really, Levi?” She narrowed her eyes, as the humiliation settled in and made her want to sink. Even if it was just the two of them in the office she couldn't help but feel humiliated.

“You don't eat for weeks sometimes. That must be another reason you wear that cloak.” He muttered and eyed her fit. Her eyes widened, and she felt her heart quicken its beat.

What the actual hell?

“You asshole,” (Y/n) whispered harshly.

Levi’s first instinct was to retort back but seeing her fists clenched made him slightly confused. Is she upset?

“Why would you care, if you hate me so much?”

Hate her? Shit. Levi mentally panicked. ‘No, no, no I don't hate you, I could never hate you (Y/n)! Did I mess up? I haven't said anything too bad right?’ Levi ignored the thoughts pouring into his subconscious.

“It's my place to know if you're getting weak and sloppy on expeditions with my squad. You’ve been disorganized on recent expeditions with other squads too. You're supposed to be strong as a Captain. You can't just get weak all of a sudden because of a pointless insecurity to have.” (Y/n) stood up from her seat abruptly.

“Are you fucking serious Levi?! I didn't work my ass off my whole life to just get picked on by the likes of you! You think you have the right to tell me I've gotten weak and to tell me my insecurity is useless?! Why won't you just leave me the fuck alone!” Tears threatened to pour out of her eyes. Her yelling clearly didn't get to him though.

Which pissed her off even more.

She put her shaking hand on her chest and clenched the fabric near her heart.

“Do you think you're so high and almighty just because you're ‘Humanity's Strongest’? Why do you think you can talk about why I wear this cloak so freely? Is your new goal to just break me down as a person and to make me feel even more horrible than I already feel?!” Levi’s eyes widened the slightest. The feeling of guilt catching up with him once again.

He didn't mean those things. He could never mean those things. He just didn't know how to respond when he's near her.

“It's only recently you’ve decided on putting me down! Why?.. Did all those late night talks we both had together mean nothing to you?!”

.. She was met with silence.

(Y/n) shook her head aggressively.

“SAY SOMETHING ACKERMAN!” She slammed a fist down on his desk. His slightly widened eyes, returned to his eyes that looked like they could care less. The unfazed look returned to his features.

“Is that all you know how to do? Yell? Are you slow or something? You should just retire as a Captain, you're childish. You're being overly dramatic about this situation. I couldn't care less about why you wear that cloak. I already understand why. It must be tough hiding all that hair you feel so ashamed of.” Levi kept his voice at the same volume the whole time he spoke.

He felt regret at his choice of words.

‘Stop fucking talking Levi. You're going to lose her. Just stop talking you dumbass!’

Suddenly (Y/n) threw off her cloak. Revealing her body and hair once again. It felt like Levi ignored the image of her body earlier. She looks really thin. Unhealthy thin. His eyebrows furrowed.

“I wear that cloak because of people like you!” Levi looked taken aback.

People like him?

“Judgemental dumbasses like you who can't be nice once for the likes of them!” Wait.. is she.. Did.. Did he make her cry? Is she crying? Tears finally sprung free from her eyes and rolled down (Y/n)’s cheeks as her bottom lip started to quiver. She never cried. Ever. And he's never seen her cry.

“I.. I try so hard for you, Levi! A-And all you see in me is my worst, obviously. I-I love you so much it actually hurts!” A sob escaped her lips and Levi felt blood rush to his face.

She loves him?!

Oh no what the fuck does he do?! Confess?! After everything he just said?? Guilt ran through his bloodstream and he felt his chest tighten.

“.... Why do you hate me? Am I that bad of a person? O-Or just.. ugly?”

‘No! Of course you're not ugly. Your fucking beautiful. The most gorgeous of them all! Levi fucking speak! Say something nice for once you asshole! Confess to her!’ Levi felt himself pause. His heart beating against his ribs. It hurt. The confession was about to slip out of his mouth. Almost..

“Tch. You're clumsy. Careless. And you lack skill.” Her breath got caught in her throat and she felt herself freeze.

Is it possible to feel your heart physically break? Because it felt like for her he smashed it with a hammer, stepped on it with his clean boots, and lit it on fire with a torch.

“And it's not my fault you're anorexic. Anything else Captain (Y/n)?”

She stared ahead.

With widened eyes. Pupils shaking. Her lips slightly parted. Tears still slipping from her eyes. Her stunning eyes. She stood there like that for a moment. A very long moment.

“Nothing..” Her whisper was in a hush. She didn't blink at all as she directed her attention to the floor, turning around.

“Keep the cloak..” She said quietly as she continued walking. Levi’s eyes following her figure. Fuck.

He messed up big time.

The door to his office closing in a slam awoke his senses and brought him back to reality. He ran a hand through his hair. No, no, no.

Why did he say that to her? Why is he such a dick? How could he even look at her again? How could he say that? He shook his head and shut his eyes tightly. Feeling exhaustion weigh down on his shoulders.

He clenched his fists and threw off all the papers from his desk onto the floor. His teeth gritted. He's such a fucking idiot!

Why the fuck did he say that?!? His chest heaved up and down and suddenly his gaze turned to the plate of food she brought him. His heart sank.

“I'm so sorry..” Levi muttered, staring at the food.

Then he looked at the cloak on his polished floors. He walked to it, with heavy eyes. Picking it up, and rubbing the fabric with his thumbs. His knees rested on the floor, as he continued to stare at it.

“I’m sorry..” He closed his eyes tightly, feeling moisture build up in his eyes. He pulled it to his chest, and leaned his upper body down.

“I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry..” He muttered over and over again.

The torturous guilt and regret eating him alive.

________________________________________________________

It’s been weeks since Levi and (Y/n) had spoken.

Weeks.

Eyebags lived beneath his eyes, and he felt more tired than he's ever been in his entire life. Erwin was starting to grow concerned for Levi. He knew what happened between him and (Y/n) because Levi told him and Hange.

They tried to break it down as blunt as they could with Levi. Yeah.. The whole thing was practically his fault. Hange freaked out when he told the both of them.

“HUH??! YOU ACTUALLY TOLD HER THAT, LEVI?? (Y/N), MY POOR BABY!” Hange gripped Levi’s shoulders and swung him back and forth while he just let her do that. Erwin tried calming down Hange, it looked like they were about to cry. And kill Levi at the same time. Once Hange had calmed down they sat down on their seat again.

“But seriously Levi? You actually told her that? That's absolutely heartless. You make me want to cry with what you said to her!” Erwin nodded his head at Hange’s words.

“Levi, sounds like all of the things you said to her were unnecessary. She just seemed like she was worried about you.” Levi sighed restlessly. He nodded his head and stared at the ground, remembering her heartbroken face.

“You pushed her away from you, Captain Shortie!”

“I know.. I just don't know how to talk to her.. it should be easy. She told me she loves me.. and I.. I love her. So why was it so hard and why did I have to mess it all up? I don't deserve her… I never did.” Levi felt so ashamed even bringing that encounter back up.

Hange and Erwin looked at each other. They’ve never seen Levi so.. distraught before. He always has this emotionless face on. Seeing him act human for once made Hange and Erwin feel bad about the situation. But there was nothing the both of them could do about it.

Levi sat in his office shaking away the memory of telling Hange and Erwin about that day.

He just wished (Y/n) would smile at him again. For weeks he's been trying to talk to her. Telling the cadets to tell her to report to his office.

She never showed up though.

Figures.

He broke her.

For weeks he's been trying to think of ideas on how he could see her again without her ignoring his whole person. He doesn't blame her.

But it was frustrating.

He knows he doesn't have the right to be frustrated after everything he said to her, but he just feels frustrated.

Maybe not at her. At himself.

For even saying those words to her. For making her cry.

Levi pulled at his hair.

'Just apologize you big pussy.'

Levi shook his head and drank some of his black tea. As soon as it made its way down his throat he gulped it all. Finishing all his tea in mere seconds.He stood up as soon as he finished it.

That's it.

Today was the day where he apologized to her after weeks of not talking. He needs to tell her he fucked up big time and he's aware. He needs to find her first. To tell her all things that have been making his heart feel heavy.

(Y/n) was cleaning the horse stables. She didn't want to tell her squad to do it. She just didn't want to talk to anyone. Any human that crossed her path she just straight out ignored them and didn't look at them at all. She held a blank facial expression.

The hurt Levi caused her heart to feel was unbearable. All the pain he caused her to feel, mentally, was it even humanly? Could humans even feel this amount of pain?

She felt like dying honestly.

Or just running away from the Survey Corps. But she knew the penalty was execution.

Life wasn't that easy.

If life was easy maybe Levi wouldn't have been such an ass to her and made her feel like she truly amounts to nothing.

Did he see her as some pathetic, weak human being? Because she doesn't eat? She tries too. She really does. But every time she does, it makes her feel nauseous. It looks sickening.

When she was sold to the men from the Underground, they starved her. To keep her ‘beautiful’ body. That's why she's sensitive to the subject of starvation. As you could tell from when she kicked Sasha for saying she was “literally starving”.

Why was she even thinking about Levi still? He doesn't love her. He doesn't care about her.

He's.. just a jerk.

She felt a tear slip down her eye. She recalled the memory of her morning after that day.

At breakfast Hange, Eren, Mikasa, and Armin were all talking amongst each other. Then they looked up at her, seeing her without her cloak. She sort of regretted leaving it in Levi’s office. But it was too late to receive it anyways. Then they smiled and waved at her, acting friendly. Her blank face didn't waver as she looked away from them and walked past the table. Not planning on eating.

All of their smiles disappeared as they watched her walk off.

“What's wrong with her?” Eren asked the table.

“I have no idea.” Mikasa’s usually bored eyes were filled with some concern.

“Is she okay? She didn't look too good right now.” Armin looked at Hange since Hange was the closest to (Y/n).

“I'm not sure. I haven't seen her since yesterday when she left mid dinner. Maybe she ate in her office? She had a plate of food with her.” Eren shrugged and they all thought to themselves.

She flat out ignored her friends and Levi for the past few weeks. She just didn't want to be around people at the moment. And once Hange found out, they completely understood.

(Y/n) shoveled the horse shit, almost making her want to puke. But she tried to remain expressionless. She had no clue Levi was looking for her in that moment of time.

He already checked her office. Knocked on her room door which was open, and her bed was untouched. If looked like she hadn't slept on there for a long time, causing his guilt to rise. He asked all of her friends if they've seen her. To which they responded with, "We haven't talked to her in a while actually." Which made him feel worse. But he shook it off, focusing on finding her. He even asked Erwin if she's been assigned to an expedition with her squad. He said, "No." which made Levi relieved as he continued to check the whole castle. He even went to the training grounds. She wasn't there.

Where the fuck is she? Hasn't he checked everywhere?

.. No. Not everywhere. He walked down to the horse stables, and checked stall after stall. And finally he saw her shoveling horse shit with her beautiful stunning self.

He didn't even realize her name slipped past his lips until she turned to him.She looked beautiful. But still thin. Really thin. Although she held a blank face as she stared at him.

The twinkle that was in her eyes, disappeared.

He was looking past the sort of horrific look she was giving him though. Calling it her “blank” face. She felt paralyzed as she just stood there.

“Captain.” She finally muttered out.She never called him Captain. It was always Levi. Always Levi.

“... (Y/n).” He repeated at a loss for words.

‘No, don't chicken out now you bitch. Just tell her what's been on your mind.’ Levi sucked in a breath before walking towards her. She just stared at him, and finally broke out of the paralyzed state she was just in. She took a couple of steps back, her back hitting the wall as she dropped the shovel full of horse poop.Her eyebrows furrowed as he walked towards her.

“Stay away from me.” She told him in a cold tone.He halted and stood where he was. Losing confidence for a second, and feeling guilty as hell. But the longer he stared at her the longer he felt bad and had to say something.

“I’m..” What the hell. Speak Levi! Speak!

“I’m..”

“You're wasting your time if you're trying to apologize.” (Y/n) picked up the shovel she dropped on the ground.

“Why are you doing stable duty?” He forced out.

Ugh. Pussy.

“Because I'm too sloppy, and weak with everything else. I lack skill.” She responded with a small scoff. Levi glanced to his side, hurt flashed in his eyes but he tried to make it disappear just as quickly as it came.

“I'm sorry..” He said clearly, with no hesitation or stutter in his voice this time.

She raised her chin up at this. “Sure.”

“I am, okay? I’m sorry for everything I said to you. It was unnecessary and I just..” Levi’s heartbeat started to race again.

“I'm a dick. And I hurt you. Badly. I said some things I can't take back but they were all a lie. I don't think your insecurities are pointless and I don't think you're a weak soldier. You're one of the strongest Captains here at Survey Corps.” She looked unimpressed with his words.

“I’m not falling for this, Ackerman. Okay? Now will you just leave and let me finish this?” Her glare directed at him made him hate himself.

“(Y/n)-”

“Will you go away? I’ve made it clear I obviously don't want to have this discussion with you.” She snapped.

“God damn it (Y/n)! Will you just let me apologize to you?!” He was about to walk towards her again but she didn't allow it.

“Why?! Why do you want to apologize after 1 ½ months, Levi?!” Her eyebrows were furrowed and her teeth were gritted as she shook her head before even realizing what she just said.

Levi stared at her. She had that broken look on her face again, as she sighed softly. Her eyes looked so sad.

Way to go Ackerman, you dumbass.

“You don't like me. And I..” she blinked back her tears that were building up.

“I loved you..” She said in a whisper. Loved?.. No.

“I’ve never hated you (Y/n).” She looked at him, not believing what he was saying.

“I have always..” His heartbeat sped up. His cheeks warming up and being dusted with blush.

“I love you, (Y/n).” Her eyes widened as she slowly turned her head to Levi.

He had eyebags under his eyes. His skin looked paler than it usually did. And.. he had this pleading look in his eyes.

What happened to him? Was he just as broken as her?.. but how? He looked like he didn't even care when he ripped her heart out and stopped on it with ease.

But she just broke eye contact instead of believing him. That's what they all say. ‘Sorry’ to make it better. But they don't really mean it. Is a bandage immediately going to heal you? It's not. So it's best not to sugarcoat it.

“Tch, you're lying to yourself.”

Levi stepped back, his frustration building up.

“I hate liars.”

“Then if you really love me, why did you tell me all those things in your office that day?” (Y/n) glared.

“I just brought you food, you ass.” She looked away, feeling those stupid crocodile tears build up again.

He let out a sigh and turned his head away from her.

“(Y/n) I really didn't mean any of that stupid shit I spoke. I just..” He sucked in a breath, as the awkwardness got to him finally.

“I get awkward and.. fuck, this sounds stupid-.. n-nervous around you. Which is why I've been so mean to you lately, and why I can't even look y-you in the eye when you're around me or why I have this stupid ass stutter!” He slapped a hand over his face and turned his whole body away from her, his cheeks turning to the color of a tomato this time.

(Y/n)’s furrowed brows relaxed when she started running everything he said through her brain. That explains why he stutters around her and why he does act nervous every time she even breathes near him. She gasped quietly, and her eyes softened.

Does he really have feelings for her? Real ones?

So all the things he said.. Did he really not mean it? But wait.. if he did like her or.. ‘love’ her like he says he does, why did he even say all those cruel things to begin with? Like from the very beginning?

“Levi.” He turned his head to look at her.

“(Y/n).”

“Why were you even mean to begin with if you really do like me? Everything you said.. it's.. not going to go away so easily. You said it all so easily though. I'm just.. confused.” Levi glanced down hesitant, and then walked toward her, this time she didn't say anything.

Once he stood in front of her, he slowly grabbed her hands. (Y/n)’s eyebrows raised slightly.

‘I thought he hated physical interaction.’

“I say this with full honesty, (Y/n). I have no idea how to talk to you normally. Not so long ago, when you would talk to me I didn't know how to respond at all. That's where the stutter comes in. And I’ve never been attracted to anyone like I am with you. It's hard to say, brat.” He looked up. She just stared at him.

“All the random insults poured out of my mouth every time I saw you because I get awkward and I think that's ‘flirting’.” She looked down, feeling his thumbs start to rub circles on her hands.

“I'm sorry for everything I've said. I didn't mean any of it, I was talking out of my ass. Your body is beautiful and so are you.. I-I can't even explain how much I..” Levi’s eyes met with hers as he trailed off. He lost his train of thoughts. How couldn't he?

When she staring at him with those fucking pretty eyes. (Y/n) blinked causing him to snap out of it. He cleared his throat and his eyes sort of.. softened.

“How much I love you.”

“Levi..” That sparkle in her eye shining brighter than ever. Her cheeks turned crimson.

“I understand if you don't want to be with me. But I promise if you do, I won't ever disappoint you or make you cry like I've done so many times.” Levi’s heart thumped and since it was so quiet in the night, the only thing to be heard was the sounds of nature, the wind and his heart beating out of his chest.

“I'll make sure you start eating again. Every single day.” He hesitantly lifted one of her hands and placed a light kiss on her knuckle.

“I just.. I don't want to get hurt again.” (Y/n) whispered, her eyes not meeting his.

“I promise I'll never hurt you like this ever again.” She looked up.

“Promise?” He smiled softly, making her heart flutter. She's never seen Levi smile.

“I promise.” The longer he stared at her, his attention moved down to her lips. Her heart beating faster than a rabbits at this point, her breath was caught at the back of her throat. Levi glanced at her eyes, then her lips. Then he lifted a hand to her chin. Tilting her head as he slowly leaned in.

‘Levi?’ She thought in her brain.

Just as his lips brushed against hers she relaxed. (Y/n) closed her eyes, and leaned in, placing her lips onto his soft ones. As their lips connected, (Y/n) wrapped her arms around his neck as he pulled her closer to him with his other arm.

The kiss was sweet. Levi felt like someone lit a bonfire inside of him, his neck and face heating up immediately. (Y/n) could almost feel her heart beating in her throat. She felt like she couldn't breathe the longer her and Levi kissed.

Finally he broke his lips apart from hers.

A small blush on his facial features as he smiled genuinely.

“I'll help you clean up this shit, so we can leave sooner. It smells like ass in here.” (Y/n) nodded, letting out a small laugh. One of her rare laughs.

As she went to pick up the shovel she turned around to look back at Levi.

“Levi?” He turned to her.

“(Y/n)?”

“.. I love you.” Love filled his eyes as shyness filled his thoughts causing him to halt for a second.

“I love you, too.”

a/n: I hope you enjoyed that story!! please requests more! ❣️:)

[jrreigns]

Mama’s Garden

It’s your birthday and your daughter wants to celebrate. Her father can do nothing but oblige.

A/N: My submission for Levi Month Day 21; Post-War: Children. ~1.3k words of pure angst.

Credit to @cafekitsune for the dividers!

“Papa, do you think mama would like this?”

A single pebble. A shiny one at that. Levi gave it an expressionless glance and gave a firm nod.

“Mama would like anything you give her, Eden.”

Hardened eyes met soft bright ones, ones that broke out in innocent glee, ones that made Levi Ackerman’s heart swell. There was only one other person who had this effect on him.

You.

The little girl chucked the pebble into a worn pouch, along with other things she wanted to give you. It was your birthday today and Levi had been up early—partly by his own choice, the other because of the giddy toddler who had been preparing for this day for weeks. It had been hard to put Eden down to bed yesterday and the bags under Levi’s eyes were a testament to that.

The day was sunny and so Levi moved forward with his child’s plans, a picnic for mama. Stowed inside a basket were fruit—the ones you and Eden liked—some sandwiches she helped him make, and leftover stew from yesterday’s meal.

“Mama doesn’t like stew,” Eden huffed, wrinkling her nose.

“Mama doesn’t like it, or you don’t like it?”

Eden gave it a seemingly deep thought.

“Neither of us.”

Dinner time had been a struggle yesterday, too. She turned out to be as picky of an eater as her father.

It was less of a struggle now though, compared to a couple of years ago.

Right. Eden was almost five. How quickly the time has passed.

Time, Levi reflected with a pang, time that he wished he had more of.

“Papa,” a little girl with his features, but your eyes, called to him, “let’s pick flowers for mama.” He nodded before his thoughts could ensnare him again.

“This red one, and this blue one, and this pink one…”

It amazed Levi how much she’s grown. She used to be so small, would fit right into his hands like a dainty little package. Now, she counted to ten and back, knew colors, helped him water your garden. She already knew so many things—Levi sometimes found it hard to keep up.

“Mama, you’re going to like my bucket, I promise,” Eden whispered into one of the bell-shaped flowers, a habit she had ever since Levi had told her that you’d hear her if she spoke into them.

“It’s bouquet, Eden,” he corrected her gently and turning to head back to the house when she stopped him.

“Won’t we water the flowers today?”

Levi paused, a twinge of guilt tightening in his chest. So Eden has noticed; Levi has tried not to let the approaching date affect him, but your garden hasn’t been tended to in a week now. The weeds were beginning to creep in, some flowers were wilted and some of the bush was growing wildly in some places.

“Yeah,” he finally answers, his voice softening, “go get the watering can.”

Eden giggled with delight, small shoes pattering around the corner as Levi watched her disappear momentarily. The minutes felt long; a familiar worry settled in his bones, a worry he couldn’t quite shake when his daughter was out of sight.

Levi let out a breath he didn’t realize he’d been holding when Eden finally reappeared. Watering can in tow, they watered the garden together. Levi’s brows were furrowed in concentration, trying not to overwater like you’ve taught him before.

I’ll tend to this later, Levi silently promised as they left the small garden and headed back into the house. He watched as Eden said her goodbyes to each and every flower, exerting patience where there once was none.

With the small basket in tow and a giggling Eden following closely behind, Levi began the familiar trek to the fields to see you.

“Papa, how come you married mama?”

Your toddler exhibited such curiosity that could drive Levi mad at times, but nonetheless he ensured to give her the information she wanted.

“I loved your mama, so I married her.”

Words like love still felt foreign in the former captain’s mouth. Yet, with time, it was getting just a little easier to speak of it—to speak of you.

“So people marry for love?”

Not always.

Very rarely.

“Of course,” he answered, voice steady.

Soon, the cobblestone paths diverted into dirt walkways. The small patch of flowers that had been growing from the cracks of the stone brick now flowed wildly in this section of the road.

Past the willow tree and into the flower fields, alone and by a motionless lake, you were there.

This is where Levi let love in—where he let you in. This is where Levi proposed.

This is where you rested.

“Mama, happy birthday!” Eden exclaimed, her voice ringing out in the quiet air. She took a seat next to the familiar gravestone, pouch already open as she emptied out its contents on the patch of grass she sat on.

Levi watched her for a moment, the weight of the day finally pressing heavily on his heart. Finally, he set the basket down, hand brushing light over the cool stone.

“Here’s this pebble I found today. You can have it, I already have one like it in my room…”

Levi could feel his throat closing up as Eden continued speaking, explaining every single gift she’s brought and what it meant. The pebble, a pink bow she’d begged Levi to buy (a bow he thought was for her), a drawing of a big house and a family of three.

A family of three, Levi wished his family of two could be a family of three. So many nights he spent hoping you were alive somewhere, not just in his mind—those quiet hours when the house felt too empty, and the silence too heavy.

Emotion was getting harder to combat with age, but Levi tried with all his might to refrain from crying. No, today his daughter deserved a moment of happiness, even if you being gone was killing him inside. Even if being here was killing him inside.

But Levi couldn’t stop the tears even if he wanted to.

“Is papa crying?”

He quickly wiped them away with his sleeve.

“No, it’s water.”

“…There was water in papa’s eyes yesterday, too.”

Eden was just like you, always so annoyingly observant. Levi could feel his heart twist at her words.

The flowers swayed peacefully in this part of the field, their soft colors blending with the golden light of the afternoon. The wind blew against Levi’s hair, tickling his face as he watched Eden run and play. A small smile etched itself on his scarred face in this fleeting moment of calm.

When Eden finally tired, she helped her papa clean up and put everything back in the basket. The gifts would stay, except the drawing. Levi had to find a way to secretly take it back home.

“Can we come back soon,” Eden asked, a hint of sadness finally making its way through.

Levi gave a firm nod. “Of course.”

There was a silent pause, a moment of deliberation for the young girl.

“Papa, how come mama can’t be with us?”

She died at childbirth.

“She’s busy,” was Levi’s gruff response, before letting out a heavy sigh. “Mama’s taking care of us…from the sky.” Levi was weary of religion, but if it meant he could spare even a shred of innocence for his daughter for the time being, he’s taking it, no questions asked.

“Mama’s an angel?”

A silent pause.

“Yeah, sure kid.”

She grinned, curiosity quelled for a short minute, before another thought burst through her tiny mind.

“Will you also be an angel one day?”

Levi could feel his heart stop. He hoped so, if it meant he could see you one day. He missed you so much—he missed your smile, your laugh, your playful kisses despite his half-hearted protests. For a brief moment, he allowed himself the comfort of an afterlife with you.

“Yeah, one day,” he finally managed to say, his voice almost breaking.

Eden smiled, her small face lighting up with an innocence that tugged at Levi’s heart.

“Papa, I love you,” Eden says so suddenly, “Mama loves you, too.”

Levi’s breath hitches, a warmth spreading through his chest. His eyes soften, he breaks into a rare, tender smile, one that hadn’t come easily for years.

“I love the both of you, too.”

[lazyexcuse]

Priest: “Ok repeat after me”

Y/n, nodding with a smile: “After me.”

Priest leaning over to Levi, whispering: “Are you sure you want this one?”

Levi frowns: “Say your damn lines.”

[leviismybby]

One night stand with Levi is just that, a one time thing. He can't risk a relationship, he knows that he can't give you what you deserve so he gives you everything that one night, he marks your skin, makes you moan and beg for him. He interlocks his hands with your as his thrusts get deeper, his cock hitting all the right spots and he is close to saying those three words but he doesn't. Insted he kisses you, swalloing the words with a moan. Levi won't forget that night ever and he hopes that after all this is over, you and him can be finally together

Except he is watching you in a white dress, walking down the asile to marry another man. You look beautiful and Levi was never the jealous type however the envy he feels for that man waiting for you is through the roof. He will get to kiss you and have you, love you like Levi never did because he was a coward when he wanted to love you the most. During the vows, he stands up and leaves looking over his shoulder to catch a glimpse of you, you're too busy looking at your soon to be husband. Levi leaves without a word, as soon as he is outside in the fresh air, a sigh leaves him. No regrets was his main rule, no matter what choice he made, he never regretted it until now. Swallowing the lamp in his throat, he puts his hands in his pockets and walks away, feeling the metal of the ring he brought for you, a ring that you were supposed to wear on your ring finger.

[http-tokki]

Okay? Okay.

~ levi ackerman x reader ~ tags/cw: angst, blood/gore, levi always checks over your odm gear before missions ~ wc: 760 ~ "I wanna make sure you're safe, okay?"

Levi kneels before you as he tightens the straps of your harness. Deft fingers pass over the leather, slipping below the straps, testing the tension and strength of the new buckles. It isn't as if you are incapable of strapping yourself in; you have done this over a thousand times, but there is a new mechanism within the buckles that only a few people knew how to work correctly, Levi being one of them, and he was not about to risk your life over a new piece of metal.

"Levi, I think I can finish it," you offer as his hands slide toward your hips. "Just show me, and I can do it."

He shakes his head and lifts his gaze to yours. "I want to make sure they're secure." Silver eyes bore into yours, something soft and vulnerable hidden within the cold steel. You run your fingers over his cheek, curling them behind his ear.

Levi leans into your touch, eyes slipping closed for a moment before he kisses your palm. "I wanna make sure you're safe, okay?"

His voice is so soft and small. He sounds so fragile, so human. "Okay?" he tries again, fingers tightening leather again. His cheek is still cradled in your palm, and you don't think he will move it until you answer him.

"Okay, Levi"

Levi watches as the leather snaps. Watches as you are sent hurtling toward a tree, watches as you flail in desperation before accepting defeat against gravity as you brace for impact. Levi hears you scream his name before the sound of cracking bones as you hit the thick trunk. Levi sees the blood, then your body tumbling to the ground, limp and unmoving. He's flying before he can think, your name a cry on his lips as he propels himself towards you. Trees and leaves a blur as his vision hones in on you, the entire being focused on your body, scanning for any signs of life. His feet hit the ground so hard his knees scream in pain, but he pays them no mind as he sprints towards you. There's no movement from your body, no breathing or groans of pain. You're just lying there, still and quiet, as if you were a part of the forest, as if you had always been ageless and living among the foliage but weren't living. Levi finally reaches your body, calling out to you as he turns you over, but you aren't there. There is no life behind your eyes as he calls out to others. No, this wasn't supposed to happen. This was meant to be a simple exercise; you would come back home, have dinner, and then go to bed, and everything would be okay.

"Sweetheart, you're okay; please wake up." Levi reaches out and pulls you into his lap. "Come on, you need to wake up now."

His hand strokes down your face, blood starting to drip from your nose as he pushes your hair back from your face. "Please, love, wake up," Levi whispers, ducking his head. "I can't do this without you, please."

Levi doesn't hear as Hange approaches him, their hand on his shoulder startling him.

"Levi, they're gone," Hange whispers, kneeling beside him. "You need to let us take them, okay."

Levi shakes his head, holding you tighter as Hange tries to loosen Levi's grip. "No, they're okay, and I'm not leaving them. I can't."

"Levi, please. Let go."

"No! Just give me some time, and they'll be okay. We'll be okay, and everything will be normal. Okay?"

"Okay."

Hange nods and pulls back as Levi starts to sob. The forest is silent save for the broken cries of a man who has lost everything.

Levi startles awake. His eyes fly open as his heart pounds against his rib cage. He is in his bed, the sheets warm from the morning sun, fire dwindling to embers across the room. He reaches out, afraid to look, and finds nothing there in fear his dream is reality, but he is met with warm sheets and then the sound of clutter in the kitchenette, and his mind and heart instantly calm. Levi takes a deep breath in, the familiar scent of your perfume fills his senses, and he is calm; he is ready to face you and tell you about his nightmare.

"Sweetheart, I know you don't like hearing about them, but I had the worst dream, and I need to-"

Levi's voice fades as he sees Hange standing in the doorway, holding two cups of tea.

"I'm sorry, Levi."

a/n: Please don't come for me with the stupid fault in out stars title please, i couldn't think of any other title. TT

[abiatackerman]

Masterlist of "Levi Month 24" Oneshots

Organiser: @levievent

Oneshots:

Through miracle, to you (Day 3: Isekai)

Never in your whole life you thought that bumping your head will lead you to another world where you will meet Isabel, Furlan and Levi......

A love that lingers (Day 6: Love at first sight)

Humanity's strongest soldier aka Levi Ackerman is telling Marleyan kids about how he fell in love with you just at the first sight!

Saviour (Day 8: Royalty AU)

You saved a helpless kid named Levi and fell in love with him when you were a kid. Fortunately he shares the same feelings and grows up with you and becomes the best knight of the kingdom. But when the king tells Levi that he wants to arrange a marriage between you and the crown prince, everything starts to get complicated.

Where he truly belongs (Day 9: Soulmates)

The woman who have accepted him for who he is The woman who supports him no matter what The woman who always sees right through his tough acts The woman who always takes care of him She's his home, to her he truly belongs......

Birthday present (Day 10: Age gap)

Levi never told you what his actual age is so finding no other way, you force him to reveal his secret on your birthday. (You knew he'll never be able to deny a request of yours on this special day) And the results? Well, let's just say Levi never fails to surprise you.....

Insecurities (Day 14: Jealousy)

Levi caught you hugging your "male best friend" and got jealous. Finding no other way, you finally decide to calm his jealousy down by confessing to him.

The days we've waited for (Day 19: Post-war: Marriage)

Finally!!!!!! After struggling for his whole life, FINALLY the day when he can rest has come! The day when he can FINALLY marry you has come!!!!

Winter weekend nights (Day 21: Post-war: Children)

A snowy night You and Levi Both of your daughter and son Cuddling together under warm blankets on a king sized bed.......

Rejection (Day 25: Drunk/Drugged)

After getting rejected by Levi you got yourself drunk. While Hange tried to take you in your room, unluckily (or luckily) you both meet Levi on the way.......

A twist of destiny (Day 31: Reincarnation)

It's actually the first chapter of my new long fic where the reader dies in an accident in the modern world and gets reincarnated in the AOT universe as Abiat Adel. When Isabel gets sick, Levi decides to take her help and she gladly agrees. This is how their friendship starts and slowly their relationship turns into something else which none