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dilf-din · 2 years ago

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Safe Place to Land: Part 8

—A Frankie Morales Series—

WC: 2600

Warnings: language, brief mention of alcohol, PTSD mention, themes of grief. I recommend listening to or reading The Great American Game by Levi the Poet if you’d like to explore the conversation of loss and nostalgia a little further.

Chapter 7 // Chapter 9 (coming soon!!)

I’ve got an ache in my chest for every season I miss and it gets worse when the snow starts to fall. There are butterflies alive in that couple’s eyes a few years since forgotten by all, and sometimes, if the phone starts to ring, I can still hear their wings when you call. — Levi McAllister

September 2010

“Where are we going?”

“I told you I’m not telling you.”

“You know I hate surprises,” you pouted from the passenger seat.

“You’ll live,” he smiled, patting your thigh.

When you woke up that morning, Frankie had told you he wanted to take you somewhere, and all he had said was to dress warm. Colorado falls were cold to begin with, so that was a no brainer. Your hair tucked in a thick beanie, your jeans tucked into tall, worn leather boots. You sipped the last of your coffee and set the empty paper cup in the holder. Your head pressed against the window, breath fogging the glass that was like ice against your cheek.

The car drove quietly down a winding road lined with the trees dressed to the nines. Showers of amber, crimson, and pale yellow falling when the wind gusted. Leaves dancing on the black pavement as you blew past them. Frankie pulled off onto a gravel path that inclined up.

“Are we going on a hike?”

“A short one.”

Your brow furrowed, still unsure as to what his surprise could be. The path went on for about a mile you guessed as you bumped along, a small building coming in to view. It was a rest stop for a park. A water fountain sat next to a map of the trails in front of the grey stone building you assumed housed the restrooms. Frankie parked next to the only other vehicle in the gravel lot.

“I’m not gonna tell you,” he said with a smile, hopping out of the driver’s seat.

You rolled your eyes and followed him. He held his hand out to take yours in it and you fell into step with him heading up a dirt path.

“Don’t we need a map?”

“I know where we’re going,” he said casually.

You decided to stop pestering him with questions and enjoy the beautiful woods around you. There was something about autumn that always had a foothold in your heart. You had fond memories of camping with your dad. Early mornings on a freezing lake, not catching any fish, barely sharing any words. Your mind wandered to your first time trick or treating with him. You insisted on being a super hero princess. Your hair bouncing over a poofy dress with a cape on top. His big hand reaching down to hold yours, carrying your plastic pumpkin bucket when it became to heavy for your own little arms. Your gaze fell on the man beside you, his strong jaw and broad shoulders. Visions of him carving pumpkins with your own kids filled your head. A mess of dark curls and pumpkin seeds. You leaned your head against his arm and gave his hand a light squeeze.

“Almost there, princesa,” he announced.

You were a little sad to have your walk cut short, but you gasped as you crested a hill and saw what he had led you up here for. Sitting next to the ranger’s station was a helicopter. A man in a khaki uniform stood out in front of it, face lighting with a smile as he saw your figures come into view.

“Morales! Good to see you,” he said cheerfully clapping Frankie on the back.

“Jim, I can’t thank you enough for this. This is my wife,” he stepped aside so you could shake hands with the ranger.

“I trained his team, and in turn, he’s letting me take you on a little spin,” he said with a wide grin.

You had never flown with Frankie before although you had begged him for years. It wasn’t exactly easy to get your hands on a giant metal bird for civilian purposes. The rangers here used them to look for missing persons, scout for fires, things like that.

“Well you couldn’t have picked a prettier day,” Jim commented. He gestured towards the chopper, “She’s all yours, you don’t need me to show you around.”

Your heart was beating wildly as you followed Frankie, leaves and acorns crunching under your boots. He swung open the door, the sound of metal groaning low dancing away on the wind, and climbed in with ease offering a hand down to you. You took it and stepped up, clinging to his other arm as you got your footing.

He let you take a look around while he got situated in the cockpit. Flipping switches, checking gauges.

“Can you pull the door shut?” he called back to you.

You grabbed the wide handle with both hands and pulled it firmly shut, clicking in place.

“Is that it?” you asked nestling yourself into the copilot’s seat.

“Yep, no fancy locks or anything,” he offered over a headset to you. You pulled it on around your beanie and adjusted the mouthpiece to sit close to your lips. You mirrored his movements strapping yourself in, drawing a deep breath.

“Ready?”

You nodded.

“It’s loud,” he warned flipping the final few switches to bring it humming to life. The whir of the blades shook the craft just a bit as they spun. Fallen leaves in a whirlwind around you outside of the thick glass.

With one move Frankie had lifted you from the ground. You climbed quickly above the maze of trees, warm sun beaming in. You know you should be glued to the window, eyeing the trees and the mountains, the roads winding like threads stitching the landscape together, but your eyes are locked on Frankie. The comfortability and ease he holds doing what he loves to do. His jaw relaxed, his eyes flitting from gauges to the horizon. He catches you with the corner of his gaze, mouth turning up in a grin.

��Enjoying the view?” he teases.

“I’ve seen it before, but somehow it’s prettier from up here,” you cooed.

Flush crept up his neck as he suddenly felt bare in front of you. The only part of himself he’s never been able to share with you before this moment suddenly on full display before your soft eyes.

As hard as you tried to look out the window, you couldn’t tear yourself away from him. It was hard to describe what you were feeling. A mixture of pride swelling in your chest, a sense of awe, reverence. This felt like holy ground to you, him inviting you into a place that had previously belonged to him alone. Frankie felt it too, that unexpected intimacy. He hadn’t intended for this make you both feel like your hearts were in your throats. You spent most of the rest of the ride in silence, dancing above the Rocky Mountains.

He circled back around to bring you to a smooth landing, flipping switches and powering down the copter. Your eyes met each other and you drank in that heavy feeling.

You were the first to break the silence.

“Take me home, Morales,” you whispered.

“Yes ma’am,” he breathed back, his eyes locked on your lips.

“Let’s just order in tonight, whatever you want,” he said pressing a kiss to the top of your head. You were tucked into his side, arms wrapped around his torso, legs tangled under the heavy, grey sheets you had broken out for the colder weather.

“Let’s get wings and try to catch the broncos game,” you smiled up at him.

“Oh so you just want this to be my perfect day?” he said with a dramatic gasp.

“The wings are for me, don’t get it twisted,” you chuckled placing one last kiss to his lips. You kicked off the blankets and grabbed the green and black flannel he had worn today and a pair of black faded sleep shorts. Frankie pulled on sweatpants and a clean tee shirt before making work off collecting the stream of clothes you two had left upon leaving home. The trail led from doorway to doorway, a love letter spelled out in jackets shucked off and pants half unzipped. You wrapped your arms around his waist and pressed a kiss to his shoulder. Having him safe here with you was never something you were able to take for granted.

He swung his arm over your shoulder and pivoted so you were tucked to his chest.

“What’s up?” he asked softly.

You were flipping his dog tags through your fingers, running them over the bumpy letters.

“I’m just thankful. For you, for today, for our whole life. Thanks for always coming home to me,” you barely whispered.

His arms cinched tighter around you and he buried his face in your neck, “There’s not a thing in this world that could stop me, mi amor.”

December 2010

Frankie bolted up in a cold sweat. He panicked taking in his surroundings, looking for anything to ground him. He twisted his eyes shut and shoved his hands into his face trying to steady his breathing. He felt something wet nudge his hand and he flinched to see Rocky coming into focus. His big brown eyes full of concern.

“Hey, bud,” Frankie whispered wrapping his arms around the dog’s thick neck. “You knew something was up, huh?”

Rocky just stood there leaning into his shoulder for as long as he needed. Frankie willed his breathing to slow down and eventually let go of the hold he had. Rocky gave him a quick lick to the nose and wagged his tail just a little.

“Good boy,” Frankie murmured running his hands over his floppy ears.

The nightmares were sporadic at best. They never seemed to plague him when you were around, but you had school today and he had dozed off on the couch after breakfast. He didn’t want to think about a world where he couldn’t take a nap without his demons getting the best of him. He felt weak and pathetic. So he pulled himself into a quick shower and changed into something warm, pulling out his phone to text you.

Got any lunch plans?

No sir.

You do now :)

Grabbing his keys, Frankie quickly made his way down the steps from your apartment. He figured he’d stop at your favorite deli and pick up a few sandwiches and something sweet to share, pulling into the school parking lot with a time to spare. He stood stationed outside your doorway waiting for the last few minutes of class to tick by. He figured seeing you would settle the last bit of unease he had in his heart. The bell went off overhead causing him to startle, he willed his heartbeat to slow down as a stream of kids filtered out of your classroom. He smiled politely waiting for the last one to exit before sliding in.

“Hi Mrs. Morales,” he sang causing you to turn from your desk. You had on tights, boots, a pencil skirt, and a patterned sweater with little snowmen on it. “Don’t you look pretty.”

“Hi Mr. Morales,” you smiled closing the distance to embrace him. “Your heart is pounding, are you okay? Did Sandra give you a hard time about a visitor’s pass because I emailed her that you were coming today.”

“I’m fine,” he choked out.

You raised an eyebrow at him taking the bags from his hands and laying them on your desk. He pulled a chair up and sat in it backwards, hands gripping tightly to the blue plastic back.

“I just, I’ve been having bad dreams. They usually only happen when I’m deployed, but they’re getting more frequent and I don’t know what to do. I don’t want to go to a place I can’t come back from,” he admitted softly, eyes avoiding your gaze.

You reached to take one of his hands to find it trembling.

“Frankie, love,” you started, “Hey, look at me. First off, there’s nothing wrong with you. People who have seen what you’ve seen deal with all kinds of PTSD, anxiety, or worse. Second, thank you for telling me. I’m here to support you however you need. You’ve still got some time before you go back so let’s maybe talk about getting you a therapist or getting you on medication, we’ve got time to try stuff out. It’ll be okay,” you gave his hand a reassuring squeeze.

His eyes rose to meet yours flooded with relief.

“Thank you for saying we,” he almost whispered.

“I’ve got your back,” you said linking your pinky with his.

“Always.”

Christmas 2010

Christmas Eve rolled around like it did every year. Your mother made an extravagant meal for you and Frankie, and you spent the night sipping bourbon and playing board games. It was one of your favorite nights made even sweeter by Frankie’s presence. He had missed Christmas last year, so you were extra thankful for his presence this time. The time passed too quickly for your liking, hours slipping through your fingers as midnight approached.

“Drive safe,” your mom smiled, placing a kiss on Frankie’s cheek. “Text me when you get home,” she gave your cheek a kiss of its own.

“We will, and thank you for dinner,” Frankie smiled, his arms piled high with Tupperware containers full of leftovers. His cheeks were rosy from the bite of the wind, glowing in the soft porch light of your old home. He was wearing a long, black woolen pea coat, a beanie pulled over his curls, thick gloves, and a peek of a red scarf spilling out of his collar. Snowflakes clung to his lashes. He looked radiant, you couldn’t help but stare at him on the walk to your car.

“What is it, princesa?” he teased.

“I’m just having a good time with you,” you smiled, opening the passenger side door for him to set the containers down carefully. “Can we go for a walk?”

“Sure,” he smiled, holding out his arm for you to wrap yours around.

You walked through the gentle snowfall, eyeing the houses glowing with colorful lights. You leaned your head into his shoulder, thankful for the simplicity of this moment. The streets were quiet, most people fast asleep in anticipation for the coming morning. Just the sound of slush and salt crunching beneath your boots. Huge snowflakes padding the ground around you and sticking to the wool of your coats. Clouds of breath slipping out every time you opened your mouth to speak, ghosts of Christmas present, past, and future slipping out to climb into the atmosphere.

Your chest felt like a chasm the more time that passed, the longer you went on without your dad’s steady presence in your life. You felt him in the snowfall, in the steam rising from your coffee cup in the morning. You heard him in your mother’s laugh and your own irritation when sitting in traffic. You missed him wholly and in fractals all at once. Caught between two worlds, the one with him still in it, and the one you were in now that you longed for him to see.

Frankie could always sense the shift in your mood, spoken or unspoken. He pressed a kiss to your forehead, lips cold from the wind.

“He would be proud of you,” he whispered, his mustache ticking the space between your eyebrow and where your thick beanie sat nestled on your head.

You smiled sadly. “He would be proud of you too. You’re a good man, Frankie.”

His heart swelled.

“Let’s get home, princesa,” he whispered turning you back towards the car.

Taglist: @littlenosoul @shinypants13 @mirasantidotes @certifiedhunter @daff0dilfs @bannahrae74 @rav3n-pascal22 @evitamarija @reiya-djarin @wonwoosthetic @djarinsstuff @sotvtaughtmehowtofeel @k-k0129 @casa-boiardi

#frankie morales x reader #frankie morales x you #frankie morales fanfiction #frankie morales fic #Frankie morales #triple frontier #triple frontier fic #frankie catfish morales #safe place to land

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midnights11 · 22 days ago

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r/coffeeandcontroversy

swiftiesorceress: JD Vance’s comments on childless cat ladies. Why?

David: A large chunk of young Democrat women are not family oriented and would rather have a pet, cat or dog, over a husband and children. He believes women need to stay in their place for the good of a nuclear family, and so do I. Great pick for VP, because we’ve moved away from that in America.

+5 -27

you’relosingme: The GOP has an enormous fear of intelligent, educated women. This is their way of gaslighting women into believing that if they dare have an original thought and beliefs of their own, community and support would be slashed. Republican women are easy to keep in the flock of sheep because of their internalized misogyny

+6 -1

igotgame: He’s speaking out against Taylor Swift and her snowflake swiftie cult. Women like Taylor Swift are miserable. She’s rich af but at 34, is immature and closer to a 15 year old mentally. All her songs sound like a whiny diary entry. And has gone through em like a train. Lacking a good Christian role model for girls. all the studies point to a clear fact, married and submissive women are happier

+3 -18

Some mythical thing: Taylor Swift, Puss in Boots and Kitty Softpaws, the Warrior Cats, Daenerys Targaryen, Calvin and Hobbes, Snoopy, Kevin McAllister and more? All for Kamala. Oh but don’t cry Trump and Vance! You still have Dave Ramsay, Kid Rock and Zachary Levi! 🤭

+8 -1

Sadie: I can see where both sides are coming from as a Republican and Taylor Swift fan. I’m not a swiftie but appreciate a handful of her albums and songs. I just have to be in the middle of both sides hating each other. Welcome to the struggles of being moderate

Oliver: Actually Calvin and Hobbes are Republican. They can try fooling themselves but they are

+1 -13

Sabrina: Sorry but no. They’ve supported Kamala at all of her rallys so far. I think a lot of people were expecting them to be maga because of their G.R.O.S.S. club. But that’s just following a script Bill wrote for them

#politics #fyp #my blog #music #reddit #taylor swift #calvin and hobbes

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jxrm · 2 months ago

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book log - 2023

the librarianist by patrick dewitt

same time next year by tessa bailey

did you hear about kitty karr? by crystal smith paul

lore olympus: volume one by rachel smythe

a court if thorns and roses by sarah j. mass

summer sisters by judy blume

the demigod files by rick riordan

mistletoe and mayhem by carly winter

you shouldn’t have come here by jeneva rose

a house with good bones by t. kingfisher

christmas presents by lisa unger

z: a novel of zelda fitzgerald

the storm runner by j.c. cervantes

just another missing person by gillian mcallister

take me home by beth moran

blood sugar by sascha rothchild

a court of mist and fury by sarah j. mass

the christmas orphans club by becca freeman

under her care by lucinda berry

paris: the memoir by paris hilton

our wives under the sea by julie armfield

the celebrants by steven rowley

keep it in the family by john marrs

housemoms by jen lancaster

the woman in me by britney spears

just like home by sarah gailey

trespasses by louise kennedy

silence for the dead by simone st. james

a good family by matt goldman

the fire keeper by j.c. cervantes

dead silence by s.a. barnes

sunshine nails by mai nguyen

lore olympus: volume one by rachel smythe

the mystery guest by nita prose

her little flowers by shannon morgan

woke up like this by amy lea

legendary children by tom fitzgerald

midnight is the darkest hour by ashley winstead

the leftover women by jean kwok

everyone here is lying by shari lapena

mother-daughter murder night by nina simon

you may now kill the bride by r.l. stone

the man i never met by elle cook

hold my girl by charlene carr

legends & lattes by travis baldree

the golden spoon by jessa maxwell

bright young women by jessica kroll

suddenly a murder by lauren munoz

the only one left by riley sager

zero days by ruth ware

good bad girl by alice feeney

the christmas wager by holly cassidy

fortune by elle won steil

theme music by t. marie vandelly

close to home by cara hunter

the true love experiment by christina lauren

penelope in retrograde by brooke abrams

everyone in my family has killed someone by benjamin stevenson

the modern girl’s guide to magic by lindsay hall

i feed her to the beast and the beast is me by jamison shea

hello stranger by katherine center

the unlikely pilgrimage of harold fry by rachel joyce

gone tonight by sarah pekkanen

the library of the dead by t.l. huchu

what never happened by rachel howzell hall

look out for the little guy by scott lang

the christmas mourner by marian mccarthy

every little breath by keri beevis

this might hurt by stephanie wrobel

the last word by taylor adams

a court of wings and ruin by sarah j. mass

forth wing by rebecca yaros

hello beautiful by ann napolitano

summer rental by rektok ross

the house across the lake by riley sager

a cursed covenant by leigh ferguson

her rebel highness by diana ma

stone heart by katee robert

the perfect match by dandy smith

camp zero by michelle min sterling

one by one by frieda mcfadden

the wishing game by meg shaffer

a court of frost and starlight by sarah j. mass

that summer feeling by bridget morissey

to die for by lisa grey

the wrong family by tarryn fisher

heiress apparently by diana ma

the school for good mothers by jessamine chin

tomorrow, and tomorrow, and tomorrow by gabrielle zevin

she started it by sian gilbert

best friends forever by shannon hollinger

the housekeepers by alex hay

secluded cabin sleeps six by lisa unger

lore olympus: volume two by rachel smythe

of women and salt by gabriela garcia

kismet by amina akhtar

the devil wears scrubs by frieda mcfadden

girl, forgotten by karin slaughter

come closer by sara gran

the exorcist’s house by nick roberts

august blue by deborah levy

hang the moon by jeannette walls

the thursday murder club by richard osman

a whole new world by liz braswell

run on red by noelle w. ihli

the last thing he told me by laura dave

lore olympus: volume three by rachel smythe

how to sell a haunted house by grady hendrix

the dead romantics by ashley poston

cassandra in reverse by holly smale

i used to be fun by melanie summers

the showrunner by kim moritsugu

runaway groomsman by meghan quinn

i want to die but i want to eat tteokpokki by baek she-hee

the whispers by ashley audrain

e. aster bunnymund and the warrior eggs at the earth’s core! by william joyce

allergies: poems on grieving and loving by maggie bowyer

hermione granger and the philosopher’s stone by sara baines-miller

the summer house by keri beevis

exiles by jane harper

just the nicest couple by mary kubica

the very secret society of irregular witches by sangu mandanna

have you seen her by catherine mckenzie

the shallows by holly craig

a love letter to whiskey by kandi steiner

hermione granger and the chamber of secrets by sara baines-miller

the coworker by frieda mcfadden

tiny beautiful things by cheryl strayed

you’re not supposed to die tonight by kalynn bayron

the little old lady who broke all the rules by catharina ingelman-sundberg

hermione granger and the prisoner of azkaban by sara baines-miller

the blonde identity by ally carter

nicolas st. north and the battle of the nightmare king by william joyce

women in white coats by olivia campbell

the ex talk by rachel lynn solomon

hermione granger and the goblet of fire by sara baines-miller

the wife before by shanora williams

gone again by minka kent

know my name by chanel miller

in the lives of puppets by t.j. klune

the homewreckers by mary kay andrews

going dark by melissa de la cruz

all the dangerous things by stacy willingham

counterfit by kirsten chen

the rewind by allison winn scotch

have i told you this already? by lauren graham

beyond the wand by tom felton

jana goes wild by farah heron

the perfect son by frieda mcfadden

america’s next reality star by laura heffernan

the new mother by nora murphy

georgie, all along by kate clayborn

the storied life of a.j. fikry by gabrielle zevin

a flicker in the dark by stacy willingham

the villa by rachel hawkins

device free weekend by sean doolittle

what the neighbors saw by melissa adelman

the library of lost and found by phaedra patrick

motherthing by ainslie hogarth

the block party by jamie day

tanqueray by stephanie johnston

the ex hex by erin sterling

rock paper scissors by alice feeney

the kiss curse by erin sterling

it ends with us - colleen hoover

the summer of broken rules by k.l. walther

the wife stalker by liv constantine

in my dreams i hold a knife by ashley winstead

the family remains by lisa jewell

my secret sister by lauren westwood

the engagement by samantha hayes

if we were villains by m.l. rio

the sleepover by keri beevis

twenty years later by charlie donlea

the doctor’s wife by daniel hurst

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manyfandomocs · 1 year ago

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(Don't actually know if you're into them but they're my favourites ever so... lmao)

Night Visions [Imagine Dragons]

I am!! Not enough to know any albums but everything I’ve heard is good so here we go

Radioactive ; Malcolm McAllister

Tiptoe ; Calliope Angelos, Chloe Brown, Madeline Stevens

It’s Time ; Kendall Frost, Katherine Keller, Levi Campbell, Carson Weary

Demons ; Ashton Daniels (especially @ Blaine), Ginevra Gothel

On Top of the World ; Cassie Rose, Andrea Fitzpatrick

Amsterdam ; Lottie Tyler, Derek Wallis

Hear Me ; Ruby Fitzherbert (with Chad), Theodosia Fortescue (with the Earl), Genevieve Sterling (with Hiram), Audrey Sullivan (with her ex fiancé)

Every Night ; Steve Schuester (with Jesse St James)

Bleeding Out ; Gabriel Legume (with Ben), Victor Chase (with Sidney), Lorenzo Waters (with Max), Leila Becker (with Regina)

Underdog ; Greyson Gimble, Ivy Perkins, Lydia Millstone-Gilmore

Nothing Left To Say/Rocks ; Isaac Matthews, Silas Green / Thomas Mayfair, Zachary Abbott

Send me an album and, if I know the artist, I will try to associate to every song an oc/ship/crossover

#answered #ginevrastilinski #album association game #I’m tagging everyone later

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wrestlingwithcharacter · 2 years ago

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A huge congratulations to these 2023 Nebraska High School State Wrestling Qualifiers! We are so proud of you guys for achieving this goal. Keep working hard and finish strong!! WWC Predator Wrestling 💪💪 #WWC365 106 Creighten Lassen, Millard West 132 Ben McAllister, Millard West 138 Michael Lovejoy, Elkhorn South 138 Imran Murad, Millard West 145 Levi Buelt, Millard West 152 Casey Olson, Millard West 170 Michael Dalton, Fremont 182 Noah Blair, Millard West 220 Ralph Keen, Elkhorn South 285 Jimmy Koubsky, Millard West (at Wrestling With Character) https://www.instagram.com/p/ColpwbVtW1-/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

#wwc365

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jessicat420 · 6 years ago

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When I go to meet God,

I'm gonna have to be honest

I'm gonna have to tell the truth

That not a day went by

where I didn't doubt you.

You always said "don't grow up too fast, you're just a boy"

Well it's better to live in the house of sorrow than the house of joy

And if I could have a heart like David's that resembles yours, then what are the odds Solomon's sadness might have krept in there somewhere to even the score?

Dear Dad, do you remember when I was always sad?

You and mom called it my "depressed year" and I know it was pretty bad

What drives a child to want to give up everything that they have?

What makes a person think That?

What makes a mother's son decide that death is better than tomorrow?

Inside of every breath that I borrowed I held onto the sorrow and thought:

"Well, I'll never be able to repay Jesus with the way that I live"

And now I'm thinking so much about how I screwed this all up and

I don't even know if you exist so

I may as well not exist

So when I come to meet you God

I am gonna have to be honest

I'm gonna have to tell the truth

That not a day went by

I didn't doubt you

I never told you both I almost killed myself

I did.

Almost drive my car right off that highway bridge, and as I picked up pace

I prayed to God that he would forgive me if I went through with it

THIS IS NOT A LIFE WORTH LIVING

I ALREADY RUINED IT

Mom, Dad, sister, friends, family:

If I never see you again I hope you live out your lives happily.

Give my dog a kiss on the lips

And all of my writings go to Isaac.

Man, the ones about me and you were NOT meant to be kept private

Make them your own

And inspire the world the way I wish that I did

Sister, you're beautiful. Don't let them take that away. Don't let yourself become another face without a name

Get to know Isaac better! You two can collaborate!

(Besides, your voice is more beautiful than his has ever been, anyway)

Dear mom, I'm sorry that the last time we talked, we fought.

I'm just so sick of pretending to be somebody that I'm not

And years down the line when I am all but forgot

YOU WERE MY LAST THOUGHT.

And to finish the note before I get up to go, Dad, I'm sorry that I kept all this pain inside

This will hurt you more than anyone else.

When I breathe my last I will pray you can forget your past in all of this,

I love you all so very, very, very, very, very much

Goodbye.

GOD I AM COMING TO MEET YOU NOW!

I suppose this decision doesn't display much trust,

But if you are really real, and really out there, then

Make me feel like I'm talking to more than just this ceiling!

Dear mom, I'm getting better at writing happier things

I know You'll never understand the sadness

And it rings true when I sing

And there's a little bit of healing inside all of our suffering , as I have the savior that took up all my suffering inside me.

And as I drove down I-40 to collide with 25, I swear something forgotten came alive inside me

And that memory sparked a reason to risk life one more night.

ON CHRISTMAS MORNING, I DONT WANT MY SISTER TO WAKE UP WITHOUT HER BROTHER BY HER SIDE!

So tear me to pieces my sweet suicide!

For to die is gain, and to live is Christ

So I will make you the Apple of my eye..

When I come to meet you God,

I am gonna come complete, as you have completed me

I am going to come whole

And I would like to come happy.

#levi the poet #when i go to meet god #spoken word #seasons #monologues #poetry #levi mcallister

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jxrm · 2 months ago

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book log - 2023 (continued)

the good lie by a.r. torre

something wilder by christina lauren

pineapple street by jenny jackson

drinking games by sarah levy

the housemaid by frieda mcfadden

full disclosure by camryn garrett

the dream job by kiersten modglin

never lie by frieda mcfadden

the silent woman by minka kent

hidden pictures by jason rekulak

girl in trouble by stacy claftin

the waitress by nina manning

xoxo by axie oh

yellowface by r.f. kuang

unmissing by minka kent

the rise by shari king

take me home tonight by morgan matson

the best lies by sarah lyu

arsenic and adobo by mia p. manansala

our missing hearts by celeste ng

the locked door by frieda mcfadden

where the crawdads sing by delia owens

the couple at table six by daniel hurst

survive the night by riley sager

the wife upstairs by freida mcfadden

one of us is dead by jeneva rose

five little indians by michelle good

the push by ashley audrain

i’ll stop the world by lauren thoman

silver nitrate by silvia moreno-garcia

romantic comedy by curtis sittenfield

the maidens by alex michaelides

every last secret by a.r. torre

the headmaster’s list by melissa de la cruz

last summer at the golden hotel by elyssa friedland

the collective by alison gaylin

one true loves by taylor jenkins reid

the trade off by sandie jones

my summer darlings by may cobb

the last housewife by ashley winstead

good rich people by eliza jane brazier

the club by ellery lloyd

phantom limb by lucinda berry

the night shift by alex finlay

layoverland by gabby noone

the writing retreat by julia bartz

never never by colleen hoover

reckless by cecily von ziegesar

the family game by catherine steadman

just say yes by maxine morrey

a pho love story by loan le

the birthday girl by melissa de la cruz

local woman missing by mary kubica

the last to vanish by megan miranda

yolk’s on me by d.t. henderson

the housemaid’s secret by frieda mcfadden

happy people are annoying by josh peck

the fraud squad by kyla zhao

wrong place wrong time by gillian mcallister

the grayson legacy by boris bacic

remarkably bright creatures by shelby van pelt

the couple in the cabin by daniel hurst

yerba buena by nina lacour

the ex by frieda mcfadden

notorious by cecilyn von ziegesar

layla by colleen hoover

the inmate by frieda mcfadden

last night at the telegraph club by malinda lo

the friend zone by abby jimenez

how to american by jimmy o. yang

lunar love by lauren kung jessen

the it girl by crackly von ziegesar

what lies in the woods by kate alice marshall

queen of thieves by beezy march

weather girl by rachel lynn solomon

the perfect marriage by jeneva rose

my sister, the serial killer by tonkin braithwaithe

things we never got over by lucy score

like me by hayley phelan

do not disturb by frieda mcfadden

for the love of friends by sara goodman confino

reckless girls by rachel hawkins

ghost 19 by simone st. james

the winter people by jennifer mcmahon

please join us by catherine mckenzie

under the whispering door by t.j. klune

the bookstore sisters by alice hoffman

lessons in chemistry by bonnie garmus

the new year’s party by daniel hurst

the house in the cerulean sea by t.j. klune

trixie and katya’s guide to womanhood by trixie mattel

i kissed shara wheeler by casey mcquiston

horrorstor by grady hendrix

yours truly by abby jimenez

happy place by emily henry

the soulmate by sally hepworth

i have some questions for you by rebecca makkai

what happened the ruthy ramirez by claire jimenez

mad honey by jodi picoult

really good, actually by monica heisey

the ballad of songbirds and snakes by suzanne collins

the lightning thief by rick riordan

harry potter and the philosophers stone by j.k. rowling

the sea of monsters by rick riordan

the titan’s curse by rick riordan

harry potter and the chamber of secrets by j.k. rowling

the battle of the labyrinth by rick riordan

harry potter and the prisoner of azkaban by j.k. rowling

the last olympian by rick riordan

the lost hero by rick riordan

harry potter and the goblet of fire by j.k. rowling

the son of neptune by rick riordan

the mark of athena by rick riordan

harry potter and the order of the phoenix by j.k. rowling

harry potter and the half blood prince by j.k. rowling

harry potter and the deathly hallows by j.k. rowling

harry potter and the cursed child by john tiffany

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myrwild · 2 years ago

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i have sooo many new babies (and old babies that don't get enough playtime) so.. i wanna pick a few to talk about and let you send me asks or notes for some random info about them! don't let my babies flop~

─ ⋆ 𝐞𝐝𝐞𝐧 𝐛𝐚𝐲𝐥𝐨𝐫: our resident serial killer (in most of her verses at least.), she's totally unhinged, gets excited and turned on by blood, she looks small and innocent and uses that to seduce and attract men to kill them. she's hella broke, works either as waitress or a bartender based on my mood, she has no family to speak of, she's very intense, enjoys pain but gets extremelly jealous and possessive over someone she considers hers, to the point of killing for a single glance at them.

─ ⋆ 𝐞𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐧 𝐡𝐚𝐲𝐞𝐬: my nerdy baby. a game dev by day, hacker by night, loves his video games and owns a whole set up of old school consoles and the latest, highest specs on his computer. his games blew up so he's kinda well-off and owns his own house. he's a sweetheart, loves to bake, a little cocky but also gets shy pretty easily when complimented or praised.

─ ⋆ 𝐦𝐚𝐞𝐯𝐞 𝐫𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐫𝐨: the supernatural catnip. grew up in a coven of witches, been cast out because she has two spirits permanently living in her head and sometimes taking over her body if she's not careful (Royce and Selina need their own introductions ngl fkdkfkd), works at an antics store that doubles as an esoteric shop for the initiated. hella prone to being posessed. beacon for spirits and any supernaturals, like her aura is hella shiny and warm and homey to them, makes them want to own her and keep her, sometimes makes them go feral over it, so she often keeps to herself and avoids supernaturals.

─ ⋆ 𝐚𝐥𝐢𝐜𝐞 𝐬𝐮𝐥𝐥𝐢��𝐚𝐧: my smol, messy, chaotic writer. slightly toxic and over the top when it comes to loving people, she's very jealous and possessive, would definitely wreck the car of the whore she thinks her partner might be cheating with even without proof, writes freelance to pay the bills but works on her novel in her free time. coffee addict, loves food, loves to write on a typewriter and light candles when she writes for the vibes. she's extremely loving and caring in private and would do anything to make the person she loves pleased.

─ ⋆ 𝐥𝐞𝐯𝐢 𝐦𝐜𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫: mysterious sexy boi. definitely loves the attention he gets as the lead singer and guitarist of his band, even though he rarely actually settles down. he also works as a tattoo artist. very sexual, flirty, cocky boy but almost never gives his trust and has a few very tight-knit group of friends. he has an older brother and two younger siblings, which he's really close with and loves to annoy.

─ ⋆ 𝐟𝐫𝐞𝐲𝐚 𝐦𝐜𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫: levi's little sister. she's a twin and the youngest of the mcallisters. she's also the most responsible one and has a tendency of acting like the mother of all her brothers, she's very fussy over them but very tough love. she sings, plays the violin and dances (they come from a very musical family), also loves writing her own songs but never shows them to anybody. used to send them to her twin but they had a falling out after she found him overdosing and sent him to rehab years ago. very protective, fiercly loving but it's a side of her most people don't see, she's a hardass with everybody else.

#─ ⋆ ooc shit >> 𝐦𝐲𝐫𝐚 𝐮𝐧𝐟𝐢𝐥𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐝 #my babies need to be known by the world!

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