#Let’s have the best songs in the movie and still lose???

[lilithlounge]

Venus Retrograde 2025 – Love on Rewind, Chaos on the Horizon

Mark your calendars, lovers and ex-lurkers! From March 1 to April 12, 2025, Venus...the planet of love, beauty, money, and self-worth is going retrograde, meaning all things romance, relationships, and finances are about to get a cosmic reality check.

And this isn’t just any Venus retrograde. Oh no. This one starts in Aries (March 1 - March 27)—the bold, impulsive, burn-it-all-down-to-build-it-up sign—before diving headfirst into the watery, mystical mess of Pisces (March 27 - April 12). Translation? We’re going from “I don’t need you, I’ll set your car on fire” energy to “I still love you, let’s soul merge” energy real quick.

March 1 - March 27: Venus Retrograde in Aries – The Bold Bitch Era™

This is not your soft, poetic love story. This is love on steroids, then withdrawal. Aries is ruled by Mars, so Venus here is already aggressive, impulsive, and unapologetic. But when she starts moonwalking backward? Expect:

- Exes reappearing like they’ve got unfinished business (Spoiler: they do, and it’s messy)

-Sudden urges to end relationships dramatically (Blocking, deleting, "accidentally" sending that risky text? Yep.)

-Impulse spending that will haunt your bank account in April (No, you don’t need that $500 leather jacket.)

-Dramatic makeovers that may or may not be a regret later (Shaving your head? Piercing something? Think it through, babe.)

-Toxic relationship patterns coming back to test you (Did you really heal, or are you just ignoring the red flags?)

Best Advice? Pause before you act. Aries energy wants it NOW, but retrograde means it needs RECONSIDERATION. Don’t throw away something (or someone) just because you’re in your feelings.

March 27 - April 12: Venus Retrograde in Pisces – The Delusional Romance Era™

After all that chaotic, burn-it-down energy, Venus slips into Pisces, where she romanticizes the pain, writes a poem about it, and forgives everyone, sometimes too quickly.

-Dreamy nostalgia, missing people you swore you were over (Why does their name keep showing up in songs?)

-Old flames reappearing with “I’ve changed” speeches (Have they? Or is it just Neptune clouding your judgment?)

-Crying over movies, songs, and that one text from 2017 (If you suddenly feel like a poet, blame Venus.)

-Spiritual connections intensifying, twin flame chasers, this is your moment (Or your downfall. Choose wisely.)

-Illusions in love, seeing people as you want them to be, not as they are (Don’t settle for potential. Look at the reality.)

Best Advice? Don’t let the rose-colored glasses fool you. Love should feel magical, but not at the cost of your boundaries or self-respect.

So..... what should you do?

-Reflect, don’t react. Venus retrograde is about reassessing love, money, and self-worth, not making impulsive decisions.

-Avoid major beauty or financial changes. The haircut can wait. The new relationship can too.

-If an ex pops up, ask yourself: Why now? Not every “second chance” is meant to be taken.

-Focus on healing, not reattaching. If you’re missing someone, is it them or the idea of them?

-Don’t start a new relationship until Venus goes direct. Love formed in a retrograde often comes with karmic lessons (aka drama).

Final Thoughts – Buckle Up, It's a Ride

This Venus retrograde will test your patience, your heart, and your ability to avoid chaos. Some connections will burn, some will deepen, and some will make a dramatic return just to mess with your head.

By April 12, you’ll know what (and who) is worth your time and what you need to leave behind for good.

Feeling lost in love? Need clarity on an ex or a fated connection? I offer detailed astrology readings to help you navigate this retrograde without losing your mind. DM me or check my Ko-Fi, Buy Me A Coffee for a personal reading!

[that-art-cat]

✨The Dazzlings✨

[dxxdhood]

Okayyyyyy your sub!Wade Wilson fic literally destroyed me and I need like a million more consider yourself my new dealer

(If reqs are open can I get uhhhhh Wade Wilson where he's needy but has no idea what he wants so reader has to shut his brain off and figure it out for him pls and thanks)

hi anon, i love this idea so much omg! i may have played around with it a bit but i think i still kept the same core idea. i went with fem! reader on this, but if you want a similar request with gn! or male! reader, let me know! pls enjoy!!!

rough night

pairing: wade wilson x fem!reader

summary: wade needs your love and attention, and luckily, you're always there to help him out.

tags: smut (18+), sub!wade wilson, dom!reader, dirty talk, praise kink, light bondage, grinding, clothed sex, oral (f receiving), exhibitionism, car sex

wc: 2.0k

“Okay, babe, hear me out: the ending to the stage version of Little Shop is leagues better than whatever deus ex machina crap they had to throw into the last two minutes of the movie. Cowardly movie-goer audiences can not handle true stage-level tragedy–”

“Wade!” You shout, nearly swerving the car as you double check the directions. Past midnight on the freeway after a long day, you barely had the concentration to drive in silence– much less in a car with your partner in it. “Can you help me get us home first before we start arguing over musical movies again. Please?”

Wade hums, tapping his scarred hand against the console, “That’s a big ask, I’m not so sure I can, to tell you the truth. You wanna talk about musical movies? Can we talk about how big The Greatest Showman got when the score is nothing but pop songs? Look, I get the lead actor looks like my crazy-hot new best friend, but the 2010s had way better stuff coming out.”

Turning his head so you could see the shit-eating grin plastered on his face, he whistles a note before speaking. “You missed our exit, by the way.”

“What?” You double check the GPS to make sure he’s not lying. Sure enough, he’s right. “Why didn’t you warn me?”

“Oh, you know. Typical Deadpool, just pissing off everyone around him all the time for no reason,” he chimes in again, and something about his tone sets you off. You speed across the next available ramp, and after the few seconds it takes for you to end up on a deserted road, you stop the car.

Taking a deep inhale, you make sure to hit the inside light so he can see you properly, and you grab the arm still fidgeting next to you. “Wade, what’s up with you?”

His eyes go large, and his expression loses all the mischief immediately. Shaking his head a little, he purses his lips. “Nothing. Nothing’s up.”

“Let’s just get home,” he says after an empty moment, almost like he’s booting up again. “You can yell at me the entire way back, okay? I was being a pain in the ass. I’ll take it lying down, promise.”

Seeing him in the dim, yellow lighting, he’s trying to retreat into his hoodie. He’s pulling away from you even as he speaks, and it makes your stomach turn.

“Let’s–” you start, unbuckling your seatbelt before gripping the door handle.  “Let’s just take a second first.”

You catch a wash of confusion on his face, but you exit the car and walk over to his side before he voices his thoughts out loud. Opening his door, you quickly envelope him in a hug before he can try to pull away again.

You swear you heard a whimper, but it was so quiet, you nearly missed it. Almost instantly, Wade buries his head in your neck, and his arms wrap around your middle tight. 

The two of you stay there, alone, with the gentle sound of crickets chirping in the background for what feels like a small eternity. You know it must have only been a few minutes, because shortly, your thighs burn from the angle you’re bending at, so you gently pull away. You decide not to mention the wetness left on your shirt.

“What do you need?” You ask.

He shakes his head again, but faster this time. “I don’t know. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I don’t even know why I was trying to piss you off.”

“Today was fine, right? I thought so, but all of sudden everything felt like it was going to shit. In my head, I just started going around in circles, going over all the little ways I kept fucking up, and – I don’t know – it got to me.” Wade brings a palm to his forehead. “It’s just one of those hate-yourself days, I guess.” 

You nod, taking one of his hands in yours as you stand on the dying grass surrounding the road. Rubbing his palm with your thumb, trying to transfer some of your warmth to him, you’re suddenly met with an idea so good, you can keep inside the chuckle. 

“Sorry, sorry!” You choke. “Not laughing at you, I just– I just think it’s funny where my brain goes.”

“What do you mean?” He looks up at you with pupils so big, you just want to go back to squeezing him. 

“Well, we’re all alone out here.”

You can almost see the loading screen in Wade’s mind when he breaks out in a laugh. “No way, I finally found someone worse than me.”

“Would you want to?”

He’s nodding before he can even process, but after a second a frown sets in. “You know I’m always down to clown around, but I’d just be a burden right now. I’m all sad and icky and touchy-feely. I don’t even know what I–”

“You want me to handle it?” you interrupt. “I’ll just do stuff we’ve liked doing in the past. You don’t have to worry about a thing, I’ll make it all good for you.”

Wade turns his head away, and for a terrifying moment, you believe you’ve made him uncomfortable. But a part of him wins whatever fight is going on eternally, and when he faces you again, a blush coats his cheeks.“You’d do that?”

“You think I’m offering ‘cause I like hearing myself talk?”

“You have the sweetest voice I’ve ever heard,” he smiles, and not having learned anything, you bend down again to kiss him. He responds fast, bringing a hand up to cup your cheek as he pulls you in closer. No matter how much of you he gets, he always finds himself needing more.

You push his hood down and you carefully run your hands across his scalp, cradling his head, as you deepen the kiss. Licking inside his mouth, you feel more than hear a rumble build in his chest.

Breaking away, you pull your sweater off before laying it on the ground in front of the passenger seat. Stepping to the side, you give Wade a second to process before you order him.

“Kneel.”

He definitely mumbles a soft “holy shit” as he slips out of the car and drops to his knees. Briefly, you run your hands across his shoulders, kneading at the intersection between his shoulders and neck, feeling the tense muscle there. Typical Wade to cause problems instead of talking about his own. Just how long was he carrying around all of this tension? Maybe when you’re both home later, at what will probably be the crack of dawn, you can run him a warm bath or give him a better massage.

For right now, you slip past him and sit in the car seat above him. Angled so your legs dangle out the car door opening, you place a hand around the back of Wade’s neck and urge him closer.

“You ready?” You whisper. “You want to eat me out, Wade?”

He buries his head into your thigh at your words as he lets out a groan, “Yes, please, oh my god.”

Grabbing both of your legs, he lifts them onto his shoulder and he already starts to move his head closer in between them.

“Hold on,” you grab one of his hands, interlocking your fingers. “Here, help me move one of my legs off your shoulder and against your dick.”

To his credit, he does, even as he shivers at your words. As he scooches around, trying to get comfortable or maybe just hungry for more sensation already, you feel his cock half hard.

“You’ve been wanting this, huh? Wanting me to boss you around a little,” you whisper, inching your head closer to his so you can whisper in his ear. “Wanting to hear dirty things in my voice?”

“Yes!’ he shouts. “Yes, please! Can I eat you out, babe? I’ll be good!”

“”Course you will be,” you smile. “You’re always so good for me.”

With a little maneuvering around your legs, you manage to slip your shorts and underwear off, accidentally tossing them into the darkness.

Wade frowns, his brow creasing, “No, I haven’t been very good lately–”

On command, you grab his chin and tilt it so his gaze rests on yours. There’s no hiding from your words now. “Don’t say that. Stop talking.”

“You don’t feel good?” you smirk. “Then prove to me right now how good you can really be.”

He needs no further encouragement as he buries his face between your thighs, already licking across you, teasing you even now. His pace is quick, desperate, but he’s still careful to avoid where you need him most.

With one hand perched at the top of his head, you scratch the other down his neck as a warning, but all it does is draw a moan from him. You can feel the vibrations through you, and it causes you to grind across his mouth.

Panting heavily, you decide to even the score. You press your calf up against his hard cock, inching it backwards and forwards, bit by bit, and that’s all it takes for Wade to remember his own needs. Wanting  you already, he slowly grinds against your leg, and though it feels harsh through his pants, from past experience as well as the wet groans filling the air, you’re sure Wade enjoys it.

Suddenly, he decides to circle your clit in earnest, and it draws a loud moan from you. You begin to grind yourself against his tongue, still somehow working you with coordinated movements despite how out-of-control he humps your leg.

His whimpers slip out of him, as if he’s been completely fucked dumb just by getting off on your leg. The power is heady, and you move your hands to his, wrapping them around his wrists and bringing them in front of him to settle right in front of his stomach. Once you’re sure you’ve got a secure grasp, you bring one of your hands away to tilt his face up to yours so you can kiss him again.

You taste yourself warm on his lips, and the thought causes even more heat to pool at your core. All too soon, you pull away from him and shove his head back between your thighs. 

“Fuck, Wade, so good. You’re so good for me.”

He’s whimpering right into your core and involuntarily, the hand restraining his wrists clenches. The harshness only turns him on further, and he continues rubbing himself along your leg so quick, you’re sure it must be starting to sting.

“Yeah? You like fucking my leg, Wade? I love seeing you grind on me, sweetheart, you’re so pretty.”

His pace increases, and he starts letting out frequent moans in between the warm breaths he exhales onto you. Your thighs are shaking – his speed for you has never faltered – and you shove his face towards you with the palm against his head.

“I’m gonna come. You wanna be my good boy and come with me, huh?”

At that, he releases a loud groan into your pussy, and you feel yourself coming, dripping onto his already soaked face. At your wetness, his grinding only increases, and after only a few more seconds, Wade finishes, cum seeping from his pants onto your leg. 

The two of you stay silent with only your breaths slowly returning to normal to fill the air. Wade’s eyes are large, gazing at you like you’re all he could ever want, and it’s almost too overwhelming for you to return.

Shakily, he pushes off the ground and makes it to his feet before he stumbles to the side. On instinct, you jump from the seat outside to catch him, your arms wrapped around his waist. You’re still afraid that he’ll fall, but Wade lets out a light giggle.

“If you couldn’t drive us home before, I’ve got no clue how we’re making it back now.”

You lightly slap his arm, “You could be nicer to me after I made you come, bitch.”

He lets out a groan that would sound exaggerated if it came from anyone else, “Shit, call me that next time!”

“Next time I wreck you in the middle of nowhere?” you smirk.

“Just name a time and place.”

[slut4sugu]

𝐒𝐇𝐄 𝐋𝐎𝐎𝐊𝐒 𝐉𝐔𝐒𝐓 𝐋𝐈𝐊𝐄 𝐀 𝐃𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐌— RODRICK HEFFLEY X BLACK!READER

ʚ 🍓ɞ including + warnings: rodrick being a nervous boyfriend, black!reader, toothrotting fluff, suggestive themes ʚ 🍓ɞ summary: what it’s like dating Rodrick heffley <3

next in the Rodrick series .

ʚ 🍓ɞ FIRST WEEKS DATING

HELLA SHYYY, despite putting up a ridiculous cool persona when it comes to being around you and your sweet smile all by himself he crumbles

Is scared to indulge in pda or physical intact with you because he’s afraid of coming off as clingy, but once you sit him down and let him know that you’re just as clingy if not more than he is, he starts to loosen up a little

constantly falls asleep with his head in your shoulder whenever around you and he gets tired

Starts looking out for you first in a crowd and gets visibly upset when he can’t reach you

Walks you to and from class no matter if he misses the bell or if your class is on the opposite side of the school. He values every minute he has with you <33

Thinks about giving you goodbye kisses all the time and almost did it once but chickened out and you thought it was adorable

Sends you hella couple TikTok’s late at night

Loves when you squeeze him when you hug, it makes his heart race

Adores all your protective styles but after you sent him a picture of your hair after wash day he was inlove

Damn near fainted when you called him baby on FaceTime late at night

It was 10pm and you were listening to Rodrick recount his day of tormenting Gregory as usual, you were growing sleepy as you listened to his voice lull you to sleep. “He’s such a little shrimp I swear- are you getting tired?” You shook your head no and said, “I’m still up baby.” You giggled as you saw your boyfriends face grow flushed, “You okay? Babyy?” You always got a kick out of seeing Rodrick lose his cool and this moment was just too precious, “Mhm! Y-yeah I’m great, totally fine.”

When he saw you the next day he was determined to make you just as embarrassed, but despite his best efforts when he called you doll all you did was giggle and call him cute after pressing a kiss to his cheek.

Rodrick once left a shirt at your place when he snuck over one time and saw you in it on FaceTime without a bra on he damn near drooled.

ʚ 🍓ɞ FIRST COUPLE MONTHS

Starts to get more comfy, cuddles with you when you’re alone and rests his head on your chest with his arms wrapped around your torso

Play with his hair and he’s like mush on top of you

Can’t get enough of hearing you sing, he loves it when you hum a song mindlessly in his presence, he thinks it’s the cutest thing ever.

Calls you bunny/bun or pinky pie

Walked in on you in just a bra and shorts one time, you didn’t see him again for another 6 minutes.

Had your first kiss in an empty hallway at school, you kissed him first<33

Whenever you do your makeup he insists on watching especially if you wear eyeliner, he’ll sit on your bed like a lost puppy as he watches his pretty girl in adoration.

Kisses you again at his house after he saw you cry over a Disney movie, he called you pretty and held you close to his chest until you had to leave.

Listens to old school music with you late at night over the phone

Said I love you for the first time out of nowhere on the phone, you were so starstruck he came over to say it to your face. He got in trouble for it later but he didn’t care, hearing you say it back was more important.

You have your first makeout session in your bedroom when you were supposed to be studying, the v neck shirt you were wearing complimented your double d’s and showed off the chain that held Rodrick favorite ring he gifted you. You looked so effortlessly pretty, so when you gave him a kiss for getting a question right he went in for another..and another..until your lipliner was smudged and you sat breathless on his lap.

Surprise bear hugs from behind when he misses you

Kisses your neck and messes with your hands when he wants attention

Your voice, your touch, your smile has Rodrick in a choke hold and hopefully the promise ring he’s saving up for with his mom bucks will show you how much he truly loves you <33

[the-californicationist]

Hey Cali! This is my first ask (ever) so bare with me. Would you do Soap losing his v-card? Like, we know he’s confident in his abilities as a lover now, but what was he like as an awkward first timer? Maybe in his late teens/early 20’s? Thank you!!

I feel like Johnny tried his best to grow up as the good Catholic lad his ma wanted him to be, despite his early and obvious inclination to lustful stimulation. But the Good Book (mostly) only forbade the true act of sex, so… he decided to practice all of the other skills.

It started when he saw his first pair of gorgeous, hanging tits. His sweetheart had come swimming with him down by the pond behind his house, wearing nothing but a bra and knickers on a particularly hot summer day. She and Johnny had been jumping into the pond and dunking each other under all day, until one time, she came up but her bra stayed down, and there they were. The perfect, puffy nipple of her breast called to him like a siren’s tune, and he dedicated himself to learning every little thing he could about them from that point on. When he licked them with the tip of his tongue, or when he suckled them deep inside his hot mouth, or when he nipped at them with his sharp teeth; he memorized the noises she made like it was his favorite song.

But then, he discovered the juicy feel of her pussy lips on his mouth, and he was done for.

Sneaking off to throw rocks at the window of his pretty lass, coaxing her downstairs before stealing her away to hide in the heather with his head buried between her legs, licking her sweet cunt until his mouth went numb, holding her down with all of his strength, telling her what a bonnie wee lamb she was and to keep those soft thighs open for him. Never could seem to slake his thirst after that first time.

All the while, his poor neglected cock would leak and spill in his jeans, wet from his helpless rutting into the soft ground as he humped and licked and sucked until he came. The number of times he’d had to lie and say that he’d spilled tea down his trousers was getting to be ridiculous.

Or, when he took his little lamb on a date to see a scary film, holding her close as she hid her face from the movie monsters, he would comfort her. He’d coo and whisper to her to come a bit closer until she was nearly straddling his thigh. Then, he’d loop his hand below her skirt to feel that sticky heat that lay so close to him, playing just inside the rim of her sensitive hole. And when she gasped again, this time it wasn’t because she was afraid of the big baddies on the screen.

And he felt justified in his tireless training. When his bonnie girl would protest, saying it was wrong, it was a sin, that he shouldn’t be rubbing her there. He’d frown and shake his head, saying that she shouldnae fash her wee self. He wasnae prodding deep into her pussy with his thick, drooling cock. After all, it was just his fingers curling and pressing and digging for the spot that made her eyes shine with hot tears of pleasure. By the time he’d take her home, the poor lamb would barely be able to walk straight on those shaking legs.

It wasn’t until he met you that he thought about taking his practice to the next level. You let him take things so much further than his sweetheart had done. She’d never allowed him to lay his heavy body above her in her bed, and even if you were still fully clothed, she would never have convinced him to thrust himself against you over your silky pajamas, humping his cock over your slippery shorts.

And she never would’ve thought to tell him to take his clothes off while he was practicing. You know, to make it seem more like the real thing. It was no problem. Surely it was safe enough if you were still fully dressed, right? Well. Mostly dressed. Okay, maybe your satin slip was hanging low beneath your swaying tits, hypnotizing poor virginal Johnny as he pretended to fuck you.

But, when you finally got him to strip down, he could see the benefits. It did feel so real. As he shoved his swollen cock against your silk shorts, he could almost feel your body’s warmth embracing him in a carnal, forbidden way. And he would come so quickly at first. It took weeks of practicing before he could keep himself from spraying ropes of milky come all over your belly after only five minutes of grinding against your quim.

You loved watching him hone his craft, watching as his blue eyes begged and pleaded for release, his huge muscles twisting and bulging with every bed-shaking thrust, pushing his cockhead against your covered clit until you were a shuddering, whimpering mess.

Eventually, he could last long enough to pull you over the edge two or three times, enjoying dipping his fingers just inside the wide leg of your pajama shorts to pull your taste onto his fingers, licking you like a bowl of homemade frosting. Just a taste, bonnie.

The only problem was, the wetter you became, the more your silk shorts seemed to slide around, sometimes letting the hot body of his prick slip between your folds on accident.

Mostly on accident.

Surely Johnny would never be grinding himself exactly in the direction that moved your shorts to the side the easiest. Surely he could feel that he was thrusting against your soft flesh rather than the safety of your clothes. Surely that wasn’t his jerking, prodding cockhead that had slipped into the cradle of your quim…

Oops.

Looks like he’ll be on his knees asking Father for forgiveness, and you’ll be on your knees, looking up at him, stretching your throat out again, begging him for some more practice.

[loudclan-clangen]

The song “Beautiful Little Fool” for Fiercestripe? Because I am not getting over her death. Listened to it and she was the first character to pop into my head.

You’re so right!

YES! Please do, I would love to see it!

The boring answer is that I've been drawing cats for a VERY long time. I think since I was 8 they have been the majority of what I drew. The less boring answer is you know the movie Spirit? It changed my life. It had a bonus video where one of the artists taught you how to draw Spirit himself and it was the singular thing that inspired me to start drawing (more likely possessed me). I think I must have been about two the first time I saw it because I cannot remember a time before I had that video memorized. I would spend hours sitting in front of that video (which was only like 10-15 minutes long) with a stack of papers just fully focused on perfectly following his instructions. I still think about that video to this day. Every time I draw legs the voice of James Baxter echoes through my mind. I don't know if that translates to why my cats are so beefy, I own a cat who is quite chonky, so that might contruibute to it, but now you have a fun fact about me regardless!

All of the heirs are chosen based on birth order! Whoever is born first gets to be heir. I personally find that making strict rules about stuff makes playing the game a lot easier for me, I find it stressful to try to pick a "good heir" when I don't know what's going to happen later in the game so to limit that I just let it be completely out of my hands. 2. The game rolled for Songpaw to become a medicine cat! I would have changed it if he was an only kit or probably if I had known that Dashpaw was gonna die, cause I was really stressed about losing my run at that point, but I do my best to write a story that makes the game make sense rather than change what the game gives me when possible. I think it helps me to not have much of a story in mind while I play, just noting down events and thoughts and then going back and piecing it all together afterwards. That way nothing can "go wrong". 3. "Heir-hood" only applies to the leaders. There is no expectation that Cavepaw will become a healer. When Weed dies that position will be open until someone wishes to volunteer for it. 4. Honestly I don't really know. This might spoil a little bit, of tension, but I truly never had that happen. I was SUPER worried about it and did a lot to make sure it wouldn't, but after a couple of generations you get to a point where almost everyone is descended from a leader at somepoint. (And also everyone is second cousins with each other but you know what there are some problems that you just have to live with.) I image the clan would look for an omen and just pick a new leader based off of that and start the process all over again. In my experience worst comes to worst just make sure you have a very accurate family tree and trace it back a couple of generations.

Thank you so much! I don't play with any mods for Loudclan, I'm too scared to lose saves to less than stable code. My favorite mod currently is Kori's Awoogen though! I just like to look at the beautiful art mostly. I use mass extinction as population control, so I turn it on and off based on how many cats I have. Two full pages is the upper limit of what I'm willing to deal with, so once a third page opens I turn mass extinction on and after an extinction happens I turn it back off. (also if I dip below 1 full page I turn unknown parents on until I'm back to two pages again). I've found after a couple of generations you can mostly stop worrying about it because the bloodlines have spread so far there's always someone who's a 6th great great cousin or something.

The game generated him Dashpelt! I probably would have picked Dashfoot to stick with the generated them of a boring suffix but to make more sense overall.

[sofivison]

ੈ✩‧₊˚ fools gold — sophia laforteza

“I know the difference between what you say and how you feel

I know when it's real”

pairing ₊⊹ sophia laforteza x fem!reader

synopsis ₊⊹ two childhood best friends who fell for each other without knowing the complexities of love. you feel her pulling away and don’t know what to do, but you need her. you can’t lose her.

genre ₊⊹ angst, hurt no comfort

tags ₊⊹ not really gfs, unrequited love(?), sad ending

a/n ₊⊹ first post woohoooo hi guys!! starting off with a good angst (no happy ending sorry) my requests are very open so go fill up my inbox!

The first time Y/N realized she loved Sophia, they were twelve years old, lying on their backs in the grass, staring up at the stars. It was summer, and the heat still clung to the earth even though the sun had been gone for hours. Crickets hummed in the distance, the air thick with the scent of pine trees and turf.

Sophia pointed at the sky, tracing constellations with her finger. “That one looks like a dog,” she said, voice dreamy.

Y/N squinted. “It looks like a cat.”

Sophia huffed. “You just think everything looks like a cat.”

“That’s because cats are better than dogs.”

Sophia gasped, turning to look at her with exaggerated offense. “Take it back.”

Y/N grinned. “Never.”

Sophia tackled her then, their laughter ringing through the night as they rolled across the grass, wrestling until they were out of breath. When they collapsed again, Y/N turned her head to look at Sophia. Her cheeks were pink from the heat, her hair messy and full of little bits of grass. She was beautiful, even then.

Y/N didn’t have the words for what she felt at the time, but she knew, with a child’s certainty, that she wanted to be beside Sophia forever.

—

The beach was always their place.

Their parents took them every summer, and every summer, they raced to the shoreline the moment they arrived, kicking off their shoes and letting their feet sink into the sand. They built castles with moats deep enough to trap the tide, collected seashells in buckets, and dared each other to swim out farther than they were supposed to.

One year, when they were thirteen, a storm rolled in while they were playing in the water. It came fast, turning the sky dark and the waves rough. Their mothers called for them to come back, but before they did, Sophia grabbed Y/N’s hand and squeezed it tight.

“Don’t be scared,” she said. “I’ll hold on.”

And she did.

They ran back to shore, hand in hand, the wind whipping through their hair, the rain soaking their clothes. When they made it to safety, Sophia turned to Y/N with a wild grin. “That was fun.”

Y/N laughed, heart pounding. “You’re crazy.”

“You love it.”

Y/N did.

—

At fourteen, they camped in Sophia’s backyard, staying up all night whispering secrets under a sky full of stars. Y/N brought a flashlight, and Sophia stole her dad’s old radio, tuning it to some station playing love songs from decades before they were born.

Sophia curled against Y/N’s side, their arms brushing as she hummed along to the music.

“Do you think we’ll ever fall in love with people?” Sophia asked.

Y/N swallowed. “I think so.”

Sophia turned her head, her face close enough that Y/N could feel her breath. “What do you think it’ll be like?”

Y/N didn’t know how to answer without saying this. This closeness, this warmth, this feeling in her chest that made her stomach flutter and her head feel light.

Instead, she shrugged. “I guess we’ll find out.”

Sophia smiled like she already knew.

—

They had their first kiss when they were fifteen.

It was late, and they were in Y/N’s room, curled up under a blanket, watching some terrible movie they’d already forgotten the name of. Sophia turned to her suddenly, a look in her eyes that made Y/N’s breath catch.

“Can I?” Sophia asked, voice quiet.

Y/N nodded, and then Sophia cupped her face, and kissed her, soft and slow.

It was nothing like the movies. There were no fireworks, no dramatic music swelling in the background—just the warmth of Sophia’s lips, the steady beat of Y/N’s heart, and the knowledge that something between them had changed forever.

When they pulled away, neither of them said anything. They just looked at each other, eyes searching, waiting for something neither of them knew how to name.

Sophia smiled first, pressing her forehead against Y/N’s. “I love you.”

Y/N’s heart nearly stopped.

“I love you too,” she whispered.

They never talked about it after that.

—

The years passed, and they kept kissing. In secret, in quiet places, always just between them.

They said I love you more times than Y/N could count. In text messages, in hushed voices at sleepovers, in laughter after shared jokes. It became as natural as breathing.

But they never talked about what it meant.

And now, at twenty, Y/N was starting to think that Sophia had stopped meaning it.

It was in the little things—the way Sophia took longer to respond to messages, the way she pulled away first, the way her laughter didn’t sound quite the same anymore.

At first, Y/N told herself she was imagining it. That she was overthinking, being paranoid, reading too much into things.

Maybe I’m crazy.

But even a fool can tell the difference between pyrite and real gold.

And Y/N was no fool.

Sophia was slipping away, and Y/N didn’t know how to hold on.

But she needed to.

Because Sophia was the enormous sun, burning bright and untouchable, and Y/N was just a candle, melting away in the heat.

And now, that sun was dimming before the candle had even burned out.

It wasn’t fair.

And it didn’t make sense.

Y/N didn’t know when it started—when the distance between them became something real, something tangible, something more than just paranoia creeping into the corners of her mind.

Maybe it had been slow, a shift so small it could have been mistaken for growing pains. Or maybe it had happened all at once, sudden and irreversible, like a fire burning through everything they had built together.

Either way, Y/N felt it now, heavy in her chest, in the spaces where Sophia used to be.

They still saw each other. They still talked, still laughed, still exchanged I love you’s like they meant something. But Y/N could feel the difference. Sophia’s touch wasn’t the same—not as lingering, not as sure. She pulled away too quickly, smiled too easily, as if she were performing a role she no longer wanted.

Y/N told herself she was being dramatic. She told herself that if she just held on tighter, things would go back to the way they were.

So she tried.

She sent the first text. She made the plans. She reached for Sophia’s hand, even when Sophia’s fingers barely curled around hers in return.

She kissed her first.

Sophia still kissed back, but it wasn’t the same.

It wasn’t the same.

And Y/N couldn’t ignore it anymore.

—

One night, they sat on the beach, just the two of them. The waves rolled in gentle and slow, the air cool against Y/N’s skin. It should have felt like every other summer they’d spent here, but it didn’t.

Y/N watched Sophia instead of the ocean, memorizing the way the moonlight hit her face, the way her hair moved in the breeze.

Sophia was quiet, running her fingers through the sand absentmindedly.

“Do you ever think about when we were kids?” Y/N asked, her voice barely above a whisper.

Sophia glanced at her, smiling softly. “Yeah. All the time.”

Y/N swallowed. “Do you miss it?”

Sophia hesitated. It was only a second, maybe two, but Y/N caught it.

“Of course I do,” she said, but there was something in her voice that made Y/N’s stomach twist.

It wasn’t a lie. But it wasn’t the truth either.

Y/N looked away, staring out at the waves. “Sometimes I wish we could go back.”

Sophia was silent for a long time. Then—

“Why?”

Y/N clenched her jaw. She could feel the answer sitting on her tongue, bitter and painful.

Because back then, I didn’t have to wonder if you loved me.

But she couldn’t say that. She couldn’t say any of it.

So instead, she forced a laugh, shaking her head. “No reason.”

Sophia didn’t push.

And somehow, that hurt the most.

—

Y/N spent the next few weeks trying to convince herself that things weren’t falling apart.

She clung to every smile, every touch, every fleeting moment that felt like before.

But the doubt never left.

Because now, every time Sophia said I love you, Y/N wondered if she meant it.

And even worse,

She wondered if she ever would again.

—

The sand was cool beneath Y/N’s fingers, a familiar comfort against the stark fear blooming in her chest. The waves whispered secrets to the shore, a constant, rhythmic reminder of time slipping away. Beside her, Sophia threw pebbles into the ocean, her movements fluid and careless, a world away from the turmoil brewing inside Y/N.

For twenty years, Sophia had been her sun. A radiance around which Y/N’s world revolved. Their lives were intertwined, woven together with shared secrets, laughter, and a love that was beneath the surface, never explicitly acknowledged but always there.

Y/N watched Sophia, the way the setting sun painted her skin gold, the way her brow furrowed in concentration as she aimed for a distant wave.

“Sophia,” she started, her voice barely a whisper against the roar of the ocean.

Sophia glanced at her, a small smile playing on her lips. “Yeah?”

Y/N swallowed, the lump in her throat feeling like a jagged stone. This was it. The moment she’d been dreading and obsessing over equally. “We… we haven’t really talked about… us.”

Sophia’s smile faltered. ”I mean… we never have.” She stopped throwing pebbles and turned to face Y/N, the ocean reflecting in her wide, uncertain eyes. “What do you mean?”

“I mean…” Y/N struggled to find the right words, the ones that wouldn’t shatter the fragile peace between them. “I love you, Sophia. You know I do. But sometimes… sometimes I feel like I’m the only one who feels it this way.”

The silence that followed was deafening. The waves still crashed, the wind still howled, but Y/N could hear nothing but the frantic beating of her own heart.

“Maybe I’m crazy,” she rushed on, desperately trying to backtrack, to convince herself that her fears were unfounded. But Y/N knew, with a sickening certainty, that the gold in Sophia’s eyes was no longer mirroring her own.

“I just…” Y/N forced herself to meet Sophia’s gaze, the truth of her words a bitter pill on her tongue. “I feel like you’re not… here anymore. Not really. And it makes me feel like I’m doing something wrong. That I’m making you not love me.”

It was pathetic, she knew. Begging for love. Exposing herself so vulnerably, tearing down the walls she’d so carefully built. But she needed to know she’d tried everything. She couldn't face the years to come, wondering if a single conversation could have saved them.

Sophia was silent again, her expression unreadable. Y/N had to tell herself that it was Sophia’s fault. That something she did, not Y/N, was the reason for this shift. To think that she was the reason Sophia’s love was fading was too much to bear.

“Please,” Y/N choked out, tears pricking at her eyes. “Please, just… love me again.”

Sophia reached out, her fingers brushing against Y/N’s cheek. Her touch was gentle, but lacking the warmth it used to hold. “Y/N,” she said softly, her voice laced with a sadness that mirrored Y/N’s own. “I just… don't know if I can be what you want me to be.”

Y/N anxiety clawed at my insides. “What do you mean?” Y/N choked out. “What do I want you to be?”

"Someone who loves me the way you do.” Sophia’s hand retreated, leaving Y/N’s skin cold.

The truth hung heavy in the air, suffocating her. She was a puny candle, desperately clinging to the enormous sun, even as it imploded before her very eyes. It wasn’t fair. It didn’t make sense.

Y/N closed her eyes, the salty tears streaming down her face. She knew what came next. The goodbye.

“I… I need you, Sophia,” she whispered, the words a raw, desperate plea.

But Sophia didn’t respond. She just stood there, silhouetted against the dying sun, a beautiful, unattainable ghost.

“I can’t,” Sophia finally managed to say, her voice barely audible. “I just… I can’t.”

The words ripped through Y/N, severing the last thread of hope. She opened her eyes, staring at Sophia, trying to memorize every detail of her face, knowing this was the last time she’d see her this way.

“Okay,” Y/N whispered, the word a broken promise to herself. “Okay.”

She stood up, her legs shaky, and turned away from Sophia, away from the ocean, away from a future that no longer held the light she’d always known. She walked away, leaving Sophia sitting alone on the beach, a solitary figure against the expanse of the sea. And as she walked, she knew that the sun had finally set on their love, leaving her lost and shivering in the darkness.

[noosayog]

[... and yet, it's you] - ft. oikawa toru

summary: there's a chinese song with the lyrics 【咸魚白菜也好好味】 which translates to "eating even dried salted fish and bok choi is good." with the meaning that i'm happy with anything as long as it's with you.

wc: 1.3k

for @shibaraki's komorebi collab! thank you for letting me participate, Monty!

1. Sharing a bathroom

The shower is already running when you finally drag yourself out of bed. Your vision is still bleary as you methodically brush your teeth, content to let your mind slowly clear out its sleepy fog to the sound of Oikawa humming in the shower.

You're at the toilet when Oikawa says, "why do you always do that?"

"Do what," you respond.

"Like… let out a little bit of pee before you pee the rest of it out."

You laugh a bit. "You're gonna think it's stupid."

"Just tell me," he says, seriously curious now.

"Once when I was really little, I dreamt that I was peeing in the bathroom but then realized I was still in bed when I woke up to myself wetting the bed."

The shower stops so you can hear Oikawa chuckling. "That wasn't what I was expecting."

"Well, I don't know what you expected but I'm not risking anything. I was traumatized."

"As someone who shares a bed with you, I'm grateful for that."

2. Movie Dates

When you pick up Oikawa's facetime call, you immediately greet him with a "I'm watching a movie and I'm getting to the good part. What do you want?"

He scrunches his nose at you, whining. "Rude!"

"Well?" you prompt. "What do you want?"

"Is it so bad that I missed you and wanted to talk to you?"

You roll your eyes, but affectionately. "I'm putting you on mute."

Oikawa throws out a half-hearted protest but he'll count it as a win that you didn't hang up completely. You mute your side of the line and prop your phone on the tea table facing you, continuing to watch your movie. Oikawa's perfectly content just watching your facial expressions through the small screen and obediently stays quiet.

He mutes his line. too, putting on reruns of an older match but periodically looks over to check in on you. And every time he does, he can't help the grin that stretches on his face as he watches your expressions change scene to scene. Eventually, he keeps his attention glued on your face through the screen, watching your light chuckles and your mouth moving when you exclaim in disbelief over something stupid a character did. By the end of the movie, you’re swiping tears from your eyes and you finally notice that your boyfriend has been watching you.

"Oh my god, Toru," you unmute to say. "That was such a good movie. We have to watch it together next time."

Oikawa's smile widens, eyes crinkling affectionately. "Anything you want, babe."

3. Out Shopping 

On a rare Sunday that Oikawa actually takes off, the two of you head to the nearest major shopping mall to pick up some kitchen items. Oikawa keeps a tight grip around your hands as you ooh and ahh at all the colorful things in the mall; one distracted moment and he would lose you in the sea of people.

As you wander to aisles, you pass by the televisions where a rerun of an Olympic volleyball match is playing. Oikawa instinctively slows down to pay attention, taking mental notes of things he should try at tomorrow's practice.

His attention is pulled away when he feels you trying to pry your fingers out of his fists, only able to pull at his hand when his grip tightens.

"Toru," you say, "let go. I want to go see the bowls over there."

"Okay, let's go then," he agrees, tearing his attention away from the screens.

"No," you say, continuing to tug at your joined hands. "You can keep watching. I'll go look myself."

"What? Why? Let's just go together," he offers, but you tug your hand free.

"It's fine," you say, already walking towards the display that has your attention.

"Hey!" he protests, trying to follow your figure that has already blended into the crowds. Even with his towering height, he does his best to follow after you, locking in on the colorful sweater you decided to wear today.

Despite Oikawa having a significant edge over you in the height department, your little legs carry you surprisingly fast as you weave through people moving in every direction. The distance between the two of you grows larger until you finally stop to admire the collection of pottery on the shelves. He hastily closes the distance before you take off again. 

"Geez, for someone so short," he punctuates this statement with a heavy hand on your head, leaning heavily on it to dramatically catch his breath, "you sure walk fast."

You swat his hands away and reach up to the top shelf for the set of bowls you like.

He easily grabs them for you and puts them into the basket that he was sure wasn't in your hands when you were still by the TVs. He plucks the basket out of your grip and continues to tease you.

"It's always the short ones that walk like today's the last day of their lives," he laughs.

"Shut up, Toru," you fix him with a scathing glare and he holds his hands up in surrender.

You scoff, but take hold of his hand again, leading him to the next display you want to take a look at. He smiles contentedly now that your hands are joined again. And that's all he really wanted. 

4. Bedtime Routine 

You’re in bed, all tucked in when Oikawa finally joins you. He quietly prepares for bed and gently gets under the covers so as not to wake you. His arms reach over, ready to pull you in for a good night kiss but he doesn’t get the chance because one of your hands pops out from under the duvet to smack him in the forehead. 

“Ow! Why?!” he sputters. 

You scowl at him. “How many times do I have to tell you to shut the door when you come in!” 

“Okay, okay,” he rubs his forehead but obeys. The door shuts. “Happy?” 

You grunt. 

He chuckles a bit, charmed at your grumpiness. 

He tries again to pull you in, but this time, your hand reaches out to pinch the nearest part of his body. That happens to be his left pec. 

“Ouch! What now?” 

“Did you open the windows?” 

Without complaint, he climbs out of bed again to open the window, allowing a gust of cold night air to swallow the room. He sees your legs wiggle a bit from under the duvet and smiles inwardly. 

For the third time, he climbs in bed but stays a good distance away in case he forgot any other part of your night ritual. 

You turn around to face him, duvet pulled above your nose so he can only see your eyes. 

“Why are you so far?” 

“Are you done hurting me?” 

You scoff. “As if you even felt any of it.” 

“My forehead is red!” he exclaims. 

“Fine, stay on that side then.” 

Oikawa can’t help but laugh, shifting over to you and wrapping you up in a hug so tight, you let out a squeal when he squeezes. He doesn’t want to let go, so he keeps his arms tight around your torso and turns to lay on his back, pulling you so that your entire body is splayed over his. 

“Toru, I’ll squash you!” 

He ignores you and just nuzzles gently into neck. You sigh and shift so that you’re chest to chest with him, your head falling to the side so that your noses don’t collide. You’ll never tell him that you like the windows open every night so that the room is cool enough for you to bask in his warmth without overheating. 

Oikawa sighs, smoothing his palm over your back. “Good night, baby.” 

You murmur it back. 

Oikawa thinks this is it. This is the life - just being able to do your silly nighttime routine with you. Your warmth lulls him to sleep and he’s almost there when he feels you prop up, palms pushing hard enough on his chest that it forces an exhale out of his lungs. 

“Did you get me a glass of water? You know I get thirsty in the middle of the night.” 

He sighs, but obliges all the same.

[glamourscat]

୨୧ Shidou's hcs ୨୧

CW: nothing?? maybe a little angst

a meme sender. Idk he just gives off those vibes, he would probably fill any messaging chat w random memes. Or even worse, reacts to some of your messages with those really cringe meme reaction pictures ... like this one

takes pictures on your phone when you leave it around. Good luck w your storage, cause it will always be full of random pictures. From forehead pics, funny faces, pictures of you sleeping

We know that one of his fav/best subjects at school aside from PE was art. I like to think he likes art as a hobby, especially after a stressfull day on the field. Mostly painting or sketching, but I can see photography and music especially.

It’s no secret that he doesn’t fit in. From his bold and extravagant style, I mean the guy's colour palette is literally hot pink, but that aside is — he is literally the total opposite of what the Japanese culture claims to be. Unapologetically loud, extroverted, doesnt accept societal norms. No wonder he is seen as an outsider in blue lock lmao. Especially because, like Bachira but slightly different, Shidou doesn’t play because he wants to win. Not like Isagi, not like Rin, who if they lose a match will go absolutely nuts. He plays because he just wants to play. His philosophy on football is to leave a mark, big enough that people know he was there and to just enjoy football as it is.

But, with that said, taking in consideration his philosophy and the way he lives, I think he would be into someone who’s pretty much the opposite of what society expects. He doesn’t want “the society standard”, he doesn’t want you to change yourself because of him (eg: shaving, cutting hair like you think he would like, less or more makeup etc..) he wants you to be yourself. From your clothes to the way you present yourself. He wants someone that can be loud as him, unafraid to be free— to search for that freedom with him, but at the same time someone who’s brave enough to be calm during the storm (aka at night when you two are alone with your thoughts and feelings) 

His partner will be the same coin, just different side of it. Someone that can literally match his freak lol, but who’s different enough to anchor him down. Someone who sees the world in colours, someone who’s unconventional in the eyes of all. 

Aesthetically wise, I don’t think it really matters to him. Again, it’s a matter of vibes mostly. Still, I can see him taking a liking into people who have unconventional features or fashion style. Anyone who "doesn't fit in". Both people with muscle and plus size people. He gives me the vibes of someone who would enjoy squeezing the living out of you, I can’t explain why. If you’re into makeup, even better. I think colour wise, his partner would have a clothing palette maybe similar to his. Some colourful stuff, mixed with base colours. I don’t see him with someone that just dresses with one tone/colour. Someone who maybe doesn’t even have a particular fixed style, but every day dresses differently base on their mood. 

Just by taking a look at what his favourite manga, movie and song is (i go in more detail about my analysis on them here) I feel he is an extreme political being. His style was already a dead giveaway, but, the fact he likes those three pieces of media that hold such heavy political discourse, the lack of freedom, the sense of feeling trapped… I would say he is someone who’s definitely involved in politics. See it as you wish. 

Lastly, i think he struggles to make friends. It’s no secret, he comes across as strong, personality wise— extremely imposing. His aura has probably scared a few people off before. He probably craves those deep, intense, friendships with someone.

let me know your thoughts on them!

© glamourscat

[fandomnerd9602]

First Time (🌶️)

Bambi!Wanda x Reader

Warning: a romantic and fluffy 18+ story

Gif by @abimess

Your mate, Wanda Maximoff, the antlered for human hybrid was getting an uneasy feeling in the pit of her stomach. One moment she had absolute butterflies around you. The next she could have an overwhelming feeling of dread.

She had a good idea of where it was coming from. But she needed to talk about it with her good friend and fellow hybrid Natasha.

As with their usual hangouts, Wanda found Natasha in her on-site den. Natasha was watching an old James Bond movie when Wanda came in like a deer caught in headlights.

“What’s wrong with you, Wanda? Can’t find your favorite plushie?” Natasha smirks.

“No it’s not that.” Wanda played with her fingers a little. “I-I want to mate with (Y/N).”

Natasha just about choked on her popcorn. “W-what? Mate with…? Wait! You haven’t yet?”

“N-no. I want to but I feel like I can’t.”

“Why not?” Natasha inquired, “you love Y/N and they love you back.”

“I’m not ready to get pregnant.” Wanda whispered. “I can’t remember much. All I remember of my captivity was being pregnant with my boys. I-I can’t risk becoming pregnant and losing my babies. Not again! Please Natasha don’t let my—“

Natasha silenced her best friend with a hug. She gently rubbed her best friend’s back. Natasha gently nuzzles Wanda.

“No one will ever take your babies. And we’re gonna find your boys.” Natasha gently reassures her. “Just talk with (Y/N) about this”

“What if-“

“(Y/N) won’t reject you. It’s going to be alright”

A little later, Wanda crept into your office. You were finishing up a call with your friend and benefactor, Tony Stark.

“Yeah we’ll be there….see you Thursday, Tony” you hung up and smiled at your fiancé. “Hey my doe, how are you?”

Wanda looked at you, nervously. “Detka you know I love you, right?”

“Of course. And I love you”

“I…I want to mate with you” she looks at you with innocent eyes.

“Aren’t we already mates?” You got out of your chair and walked over to her.

“No. I mean y-yes we are. I-I mean I want to mate with you” she leans against your chest. “I want to be one with you.”

You gave it brief thought and a blush made its way across your face. “Oh…really?”

Wanda nodded, still hiding her face in embarrassment.

“Do you feel like you’re ready?” You take her face gently in your hand, she turns her gaze to you.

“I am. But I don’t want to risk having children yet. I-I want babies with you just not …right now”

“Okay.” You nod, “I completely understand. There are ways around that.”

“So..” Wanda found herself wondering, “we can mate and not worry about kids?”

“Yeah.”

You spent the better part of the afternoon, helping Wanda, answering any and all questions. Somehow just talking with you was enough to calm her nerves and help her to feel more comfortable around you.

“Mind if I cook you something special tonight?” You nuzzle and kiss her tenderly. Wanda giggles and nods.

The evening went by pretty spectacularly you’d say. You cooked her favorite meal, watched her favorite show, like any other evening. And then you found yourselves slow dancing to her favorite song. The one you had proposed to her with.

“Tonight has been…the best night of my life” she giggle against your chest.

“I love you Wanda. I want you to feel as loved as you made me feel” you kiss her knuckles with a little smile on your face.

“I’m ready” she tells you with a smile. “I want to mate with you”

“Oh…yeah I’m down” you try to comprehend the words. You were a little nervous, she was so amazing and here she was wanting you to be her only for the rest of your lives. Tonight was your first time together.

She kisses you softly, taking your hands in hers. Wanda softly guides you towards your bedroom. She stops you at the foot of your bed.

Her hands gingerly took a hold of the hem of your shirt. You helped guide it up and off your body. Your hands worked the buttons of her blouse. You could practically feel her heart racing with anticipation. She drops her skirt, letting it collapse to the ground in a circular heap.

You kissed her tenderly, feeling the heat rising within both you and her. You kissed her neck and then her collarbone. She took a hold of one of her bra straps and lowered it off her shoulder. You worked the other strap away and unclasp the back.

Wanda let it fall away. And there she stood before you: a goddess. Beautiful in ways she couldn’t comprehend and yet she chose to love you.

Your doe gently pushes you down to your bed. Her nimble fingers make quick work of your shorts. A little gasp escapes her lips but she calmly puts one leg over your hips and straddles you. 

Your doe slid one of the contraceptives you bought onto you. You could feel her heart racing even faster.

Your doe tries to balance herself. She lets out a nervous little laugh, her eyes shown only love and adoration for you.

“Are you sure about this, my doe?” You ask, making sure this is what she wants. She gives you a kiss and then nods happily.

“C-Can I hold your hand?” She whispered. With one hand, you take her hand in yours, interlocking your fingers. With the other hand, you place it gentle yet firm on her hips, just trying to make sure Wanda stays safely up.

And then came the connection, Wanda’s eyes rolled back as she began moving her hips against yours. Little moans escaped her lips. Her rhythm began slowly, a little awkward. But then it found the right pace, the right motion. You and Wanda fit together like two puzzle pieces, perfect in its connection, like you were made for each other.

“(Y/N)!” She moaned, “how could I have gone this long without you?!”

“Wanda” her name left your lips like a hidden prayer.

You and your doe were in heaven. Finding the right place, the right rhythm together. You made sure to watch her expressions, making sure that it was just as pleasurable for her as it was for you.

“You’re perfect,” she found herself screaming, “oh! You’re perfect!!!”

“You’re a goddess” you whispered in her ear as you bent up and kissed her neck and collarbone. She purrs and whines with your touch.

Your hands gently explore her body, her silky smooth body. She rocked against you up and down, lost in the moment. One of your hands wandered up and gently caressed her antlers. Her tail swished and twitched with delight.

“C-can we switch places?” Your doe asks with a little blush. You simply nod and switch spots with her. Her reddish brown hair graces your pillow as the two of you continue your rhythmic dance of love.

She places the heels of her feet on the lower part of your back. She didn’t want you leaving anytime soon.

“Please” she begged, “k-keep going” her gentle moans spur you to keep going, renewing your energy.

You kept up the rhythm, each motion was driving your doe further and further, higher and higher. You could feel you were getting close and so was she.

“Faster, please” she was begging, to which you happily obeyed.

“D-detka,” she was gently whining. “W-what…what is this—“

Suddenly you could feel your body seize up as she did too. Wanda’s head throttled back against your pillow. Her fingers gently grasped your back, holding to you for dear life. Her lips formed a perfect O. Her closed eyes reflected pure euphoria in that moment. A gentle cry of pleasure left her lips.

It was so beautiful. Your own eyes shut tight as waves of pleasure and euphoria overtake you. You open your eyes and come face to face with her hazel-emerald eyes. Her irises reflected eternity.

You leaned down and kissed her neck tenderly, hitting just the right set of nerves to illicit a gentle whine from your mate.

You collapses onto the bed next to her. Wanda giggles happily as she turned over into your embrace.

Your doe nuzzles you, giggling in your arms, her heartbeat matches yours in perfect synchronicity.

“Our hearts,” she whispers, “they beat as one”

“As they always should” you kiss her head tenderly and rub her bare back in reassuring circles.

“What was that feeling?” She asks you, looking up at you with curiosity.

“Hmm?”

“When we were mating, I-I had this feeling that built in my stomach and then it…it just exploded and it felt amazing.”

The thoughts in your brain fired off, you realized that you had given her an orgasm, on your first time together. You couldn’t help but smile.

“Had you ever felt that before?” You asked her. Wanda simply shook her head and giggled.

“No, it was amazing though.” She smiles at you, “I hope I can feel it again”

You pulled her close and kissed her softly. You had given your mate her first orgasm, an amazing achievement in your mind. You couldn’t help but smile.

Wanda looked at you with a hint of a blush, “how quickly could we mate again?”

You blush, “you wanna mate again?”

She giggles and nods. You kiss her tenderly and nuzzle her. Wanda grabs the box of contraceptives, she was really going to enjoy her time with you. It would take a couple minutes but it was no problem for you or her.

You quickly discovered that Wanda was an insatiable kind of doe. Even after a few rounds, she couldn’t get enough of you. Even following you into the shower the next morning just to show you how much she loves you. This was a new avenue of your love for each other that she was eager to learn and explore with you.

You loved your mate, you’d do anything to make her happy, make her feel loved. The love you have for each other was like a beautiful canvas, one that you would paint together.

Tags @lifespectator @family-house-of-m @aloneodi @revanshand @russianredassassin @holiday-house-of-m @iiconicsfan25 @supercorpdanbeau @scarletquake-n7 @multi-fandom-enjoyer @pinklawyerwinnerzonk

[padfootagain]

Only an Almost (XVIII)

Chapter 18: Work Song

Hi! Here comes a new chapter!

We’re starting to escape the angst here!

I hope you’ll like this chapter! Please, tell me what you think!

*************************************

Pairing: Hozier x fem!reader, friends with benefits AU

Warning: No explicit smut or nsfw content, but there are sexual themes and heavy make-out sessions (it’s a friends with benefits AU, I can’t really escape it), so 18+ only!

Summary: Andrew has been in love with you for years, and yet he has never confessed his feelings. But a night out celebrating the engagement of his best friend changes everything. However, you don't seem ready to be with him just yet. You make him an offer that he can't refuse... but will certainly regret.

Word Count : 3806

Masterlist for the series – Hozier’s Masterlist – Main Masterlist

Andrew was getting a little better every day.

He was getting up without too much difficulty these days. His sleep schedule was a mess, but he was getting some work done. He went to see his parents three times a week, saw his brother often too. He went for a swim every morning and a long walk every afternoon. Sometimes he watched a good movie, spent some time reading. He made sure to avoid being in the same room as you, and had declined some friendly gatherings because of it, but he couldn’t claim to regret this decision.

He was getting better. You were still the first thing in his thoughts when he woke up, the last image printed on his eyelids when he fell asleep, but it was a torturing routine he had grown accustomed to by now.

It was like living with your ghost. The memories of you spending time with him in all his most familiar spaces. His house, his favourite spot to swim, his favourite walks, the pub you and your friends always went to… All familiar, but with an empty space constantly by his side.

Today, Andrew was hurrying out of his house. It was still early in the morning, too early for him if he were to be honest, but his best friend could not be waiting for him on his wedding day.

Despite the sadness that usually tainted his days since that night, Andrew was excited today. Happy and excited. He secured his guitar case at the back of his car, and drove to Sam’s house. He wasn’t surprised to find your car already parked there, but it was alright. Of course, you would be there, it was planned, and known. Andrew had sent you a text the previous night, the first form of communication since your ‘talk’ at your house, asking for both of you to keep the interaction to a minimum so that the wedding would go smoothly. Sam and Daphne were the most important today, and you and Andrew could go your separate ways for good after today.

It took you an hour to answer with a short and polite message agreeing with him and promising to remain ‘professional’, as you had put it.

Andrew was both relieved and pained by that answer…

He knocked, and Sam opened the door in the span of mere seconds.

“Jesus fucking Christ, thank God! You’re here!”

Before Andrew could say a thing, Sam was grabbing him by the shoulders.

“Rings?”

“In my pocket.”

“Spare shirts?”

“In the trunk.”

“Your suit?”

“In the car. And yours too.”

“Guitar.”

“Yep, that too!”

“Your weird drinks for your throat? I swear to God, I will skin you alive if you lose your voice before singing for our first dance.”

Andrew rested his hands on his friend’s shoulders as well.

“Sam, I have everything. Don’t worry.”

“You double-checked?”

“Triple-checked. I have everything. It’s going to be just fine.”

Sam started to giggle, tears shining in his eyes.

“I’m getting married today.”

“Today,” Andrew nodded.

“Fuck’s sake…”

“You’d better let me in so I can help you get ready and you aren’t late to church.”

“Right, you’re right.”

They hugged before Andrew would come in, tight and emotional and full of happiness and excitement.

He was moving towards Sam’s bedroom when you appeared. You were walking out of the room, a bag in your hand. You were still wearing casual clothes, planning to change before the ceremony. You froze, but quickly recovered, offering him a polite smile.

“Hi, Andy!”

“Hi,” he answered with the same neutral smile.

“I’m getting out of both your and Sam’s way! I was picking up a few things for Daphne.”

“Of course. Is she alright?”

“Excited. Terrified. In pure bliss.”

“Same as Sam, then?” Andrew chuckled, and you nodded.

“I’m afraid so.”

You nodded in silence, and Andrew bit his tongue before he could ask you how you were, or tell you how beautiful you looked today…

“See you at church, then,” he smiled and you nodded, taking it as your cue to leave.

He stared as you disappeared through the door.

But then Sam was reappearing, babbling about some stressful detail that was insignificant. Andrew smiled, and patted his shoulder.

“Come on, let’s get you ready. Or she’ll never say yes to such an ugly mug.”

Sam and Daphne were married.

It was official. They had both cried, had said yes (Sam was too excited and answered I do before the priest was done with the question), had exchanged rings (that Andrew did carry all morning and for which he checked approximately 2982 times if they were indeed in his pocket), had kissed, had walked out of the church, and finally it was time for the big party.

The eating and the partying were planned outside, under tents that were set in the parc of a large property the couple had rented for the occasion. It was spring, and unusually warm. A clear blue sky with only a few cotton clouds drifting by, and the weather remained that way through the beginning of the evening, as the sun was setting and the moon was slowly appearing in its crescent rise.

The speeches were spoken by a very nervous Andrew and then by you; and you both managed to perfectly balance emotion with humour and embarrassing anecdotes.

The dreaded caterers did an amazing job, that was complimented by the two mothers, and Sam threw a thumbs up at Andrew before starting to eat.

Andrew was sitting next to Sam, and you were next to Daphne, as best man and maid of honour. And Andrew was grateful for it. He wasn’t sitting next to you, and he managed to splendidly avoid talking to you during the day. Still, he could hear your laughter above the loud cacophony of the guests. He couldn’t help but steal glances in your direction every once in a while too, you looked too beautiful in your emerald dress for that.

Andrew pushed the thought away, focusing on the happy conversation that was unfolding around him, forcing a smile.

He hated himself for still wanting you this way…

But Sam and Daphne were happier than ever, and it was all that mattered, truly. They were ecstatic, laughing and smiling constantly, and stealing kisses whenever they could. And it was almost bearable then, the knowledge that you were sitting right over there, and that if he stood up and took but a step, he could hold you close once again.

Pathetic…

When Sam got up to invite everyone to gather outside for a dance, it was Andrew’s and Alex’s cue to get ready. There was a little wooden stage outside the tent as well as a wooden dancefloor, with lights hanging above the space, lightbulbs turning the atmosphere into something magical, cliché and terribly romantic. White flowers were decorating the stage, and hanging from the poles supporting the lights too. With the sky full of stars and the crescent moon above the trees, it was a sight worthy of a magical wedding.

Andrew was soon ready, all plugged in, guitar in hand, with the mic high enough to reach his lips. Alex was right by his side, sitting at the tiny electric piano. He gave Andrew a nod when he was ready, who cleared his throat to announce the first dance of the married couple.

“Daphne and Sam have done me the absolute honour to ask me to sing for their first dance. Erm… thank you again, to both of you, this is genuinely the most important event I’ve ever had to perform for, so… get ready while I try to get rid of most of the stage fright.”

Chuckles shook the crowd that had gathered in circle, right at the edge of the wooden dancefloor. Andrew tried to slow down his heart, take a couple of deep breaths, focusing on the moment, on the task at hand.

“Erm… if you guys are ready, erm… this is Work Song.”

He looked over at Sam, who offered him a nod in return. He had tears in his eyes, and Andrew had to look away, feeling his throat tighten with emotions. And he couldn’t have that now, not when he needed to sing. The first claps were played while Sam and Daphne were moving to the centre of the dancefloor, and they were both a sight to see, under the quiet lights.

Andrew was getting emotional again right before singing, and he looked for a distraction in the crowd as he started the first verse.

He noticed that many were mouthing the words, but not daring to sing. There were too many fond smiles for that, while Sam and Daphne twirled and swayed together, sometimes a little clumsily but with grins making their cheeks ache in the best way.

Andrew allowed himself to look at his friends again for the first chorus, and he kept his gaze on them despite the tears he had to blink away, and the depth that settled in his voice. By his side, Alex was being perfect, as per usual, they didn’t need to look at each other to be in rhythm. They had played this song too many times for that. Muscle memories perfectly combined.

He had to look away again, though, we he caught Sam whispering an ‘I love you’ in Daphne’s ear…

The second chorus was soon gone, and Andrew was trying to calm his nerves, to stay focused on the present, when he caught a silhouette dressed in emerald…

He almost missed a word when his gaze touched yours. And then it was impossible to look away. He blinked, but couldn’t do a thing about it.

You were so beautiful under those lights, under the moon, in this dress that suited you perfectly, for that song of love and devotion that spoke of feelings you sparked within him. He meant the words as he sang them to you. Despite how much you had made him suffer, despite all that you had done… he meant the worship he put in his words when he aimed them at you.

When I was kissing on my baby

And she put her love down soft and sweet

In the low lamplight I was free

Heaven and hell were words to me

He saw your lips quiver, the way you blinked and how your eyes shone a little brighter. He wondered if you were struggling against tears too, the way he was.

And he meant it. And it was fucking killing him, and he wasn’t sure you deserved it after breaking his heart, and he wasn’t sure he deserved you at all… but he meant it. He meant it and he was ready to cry at how much he still loved you. Over a month of trying to get better at functioning on his own, and you were shattering his whole world in just a glance…

That didn’t sound fair at all…

When my time comes around

Lay me gently in the cold, dark earth

No grave can hold my body down

I'll crawl home to her

He saw the tear rolling down your cheeks, he struggled to hold back his own. Still, he sang the same words again, like a promise, like a prayer, like he was begging for you to see that he meant it, that if you gave him another chance, he would probably take it.

Would he? Anyway, you wouldn’t offer it to him. You had been clear. That’s what the voice in his head kept on repeating, and yet there you were… standing and crying and staring at him with pain in your eyes, a feeling he wished he could have banished forever from your life.

Christ, he loved you still… and he would have done anything, even conquer death, for you…

When my time comes around

Lay me gently in the cold, dark earth

No grave can hold my body down

I'll crawl home to her

The song died out, Andrew’s fingers knew when to stop playing. He was shaken back to earth by the loud cheering of the crowd, and by your form disappearing as you walked back to the tent in a hurry.

He turned to Sam and Daphne, who were kissing and beaming and glowing while the dancefloor was being flooded with their loved ones. Alex and Andrew gave a small bow, before leaving the stage, the guests cheering for them.

Andrew needed to see you. He needed to find you…

There you were… you were walking out of the tent again, aiming for the grass that stretched beyond the tent and towards some trees, further down the small park. You had something in your hand, he didn’t know what it was.

He wanted to follow, but he was almost tackled over by Sam instead, as he hugged his friend too tightly.

“Thanks Andy! That was perfect! Thank you!”

Andrew couldn’t refrain a chuckle, while Daphne was hugging Alex too.

“No need to thank us for that. It was an honour, truly,” Andrew smiled.

“Come on, let’s dance!”

“No, no, no…”

“Andrew, it’s my fucking wedding! I want everyone dancing!”

“I hate dancing. I don’t do dancing.”

“Tonight, you do. Come on.”

Andrew looked in your direction, but you were gone.

He heaved a sigh.

“One dance. I do one dance, and that’s it.”

“Yes, yes! Perfect, come on!”

Andrew played along, dancing with Daphne for a song. His friend tried to hold him back when he moved away, but then Alex popped out of nowhere.

“As any of you seen Y/N? I wanted to borrow her charger for my phone, she said she’d give it to me after the first dance but… can’t find her anywhere.”

Andrew’s face fell, worry making him frown.

“Have you called her?”

“Tried to, but her phone is in the tent, and she isn’t.”

“I’ll go look for her.”

“Maybe she’s inside…”

“No, I saw her hurry towards the thicket over there,” Andrew shook his head, pointing at the bundle of small trees and bushes, barely visible in the distance.

There was no light in that area. Without your phone as a torchlight, you might have fallen, hurt yourself, fell right into the arms of a complete psychopath… and you had no way to call for help. Not with the loud music that was being played.

“I’ll go look for her. Alex, can you check inside the house?”

“Andrew, she’s been gone for five minutes…”

But when she looked up at the worry on his face, Daphne fell silent.

“Alright, you go, both of you.”

“Text me if you find her,” Andrew told his friend, who merely nodded and hurried towards the mansion.

Andrew bolted in the opposite direction, his long legs devouring distance in the blink of an eye. He jogged across the grass, passed the trees, turned on the light on his phone.

He looked around but couldn’t see you.

Panic was starting to rise in his chest, get a grip on his heart and make his lungs ache for air.

“Y/N!” he called.

No response, he called again, louder this time.

“Andrew?”

He spun around, and there you were…

On the other side of some hawthorn tree. He heaved a relieved sigh.

“For fuck’s sake! Y/N, what are you doing here?!”

“I… what are you doing here?”

He texted Alex quickly, before approaching you. His tone sounded angry, even though he was simply scared.

“I was looking for you, obviously! What the fuck were you thinking, huh? Going off like that, on your own, in the dark, without your phone! Anything could have happened to you!”

“Andrew, I’m right next to the party, at my best friends’ wedding. I’m safe, it’s alright.”

He groaned in annoyance, or perhaps it was simply relief.

“You can go back to the party, I’m alright.”

“You can’t stay here on your own…”

“Why not? I’m alright.”

But Andrew stubbornly sat next to you.

“I can’t let you stay here on your own.”

“Andrew…”

You heaved a tired sigh, while he was setting his phone so that both of you were enlightened by its light.

“You’re alright? What’s going on?”

He finally noticed the way the light was getting caught in the glass of a bottle of champagne.

“Y/N?”

“I want to be alone…”

“Then come back to the tent.”

You looked up at the sky to hold some tears back.

“Hey… why are you crying? What’s wrong?”

You merely shrugged, but you were properly crying by now.

“Hey… hey, stop crying… please, Y/N…”

He didn’t think. When Andrew wrapped his arms around your shaking frame, when he cradled the back of your head in his large hand to pull you close to his chest, when he shushed you softly… he didn’t think. You were crying, you looked so upset… he had never seen you so upset before. You spent several minutes sobbing in his arms, shaking, despite the way he soothingly stroked your back.

“It’s alright. It’s alright, calm down… Christ, Y/N, calm down…”

Slowly, the tears subsided. You were holding onto his vest like your life depended on it.

“My head is spinning,” you blurted out.

Andrew took a look at the bottle. It was half-empty, and he had no doubt it wasn’t your first drink of the night.

“Champagne will do that to you.”

He kept you close even if you were calmer now. You sniffed, buried your face deeper into his chest. He merely tightened his hold on you.

“You’re okay? Feeling better?”

You slowly nodded.

“You want to tell me what happened? Why you’re so upset?”

He was surprised as you laughed.

“Not really, no.”

“Alright… We should get back there.”

But despite his own words, he didn’t move a muscle. Instead, he closed his eyes, tried to precisely carve in his memory how it felt to hold you: the sound of your breathing, the softness of your hair, the silk of your dress, the warmth of your body against his, how your frame fitted so perfectly into his embrace…

“I’m sorry you were worried. I just wanted to be on my own,” you apologized in a quiet voice, it still sounded a little hoarser than usual because of your sorrow.

“I panicked a little bit. I shouldn’t have reacted like that. I’m sorry.”

“I think… I might throw up…”

“Right… let’s get you inside, then. Come on…”

“No… no, stay. Please, stay…”

“I’ll come with you.”

“No! No… please, Andy. Just another minute…”

“If you throw up on me, I will get my revenge.”

“Turning me into a vampire?”

“I’ll haunt you after I’m turned into a ghost.”

“Stalk me, you mean.”

“Haven’t you noticed how much of a creep I am already?”

You sniffed once more, and he tried to look at your face to see if you were crying again, but you were hidden in his chest.

“I’m so sorry, Andy… I’m so sorry about everything,” you whispered against his heart, but he caught your words loud and clear, despite the music coming from the party.

“Let’s not talk about this now,” he whispered back, bending to press his lips to the side of your head. “We should go back. Your plus-one must be looking for you.”

“A plus-one? You have a plus-one?”

“Me? No… no, I came alone. I’m talking about you.”

“You didn’t see that I was alone?”

Your words were slurred with alcohol, but they sounded genuine, vulnerable too.

“Erm… no… I… I like… tried to avoid you all day, in case you haven’t noticed. That includes not looking in your direction.”

You let got of his vest completely. He expected you to move away, but you didn’t. It felt like you had gone limp in his arms.

“You can’t even look at me anymore…”

You started crying again, and Andrew cursed at his clumsy words.

“No, I mean… you… We’ve agreed to stay out of each other’s way, and that’s what I’ve tried to do.”

“I didn’t come with anyone.”

“Okay.”

“I fucked up… I fucked up, Andy, I’m so sorry…”

“Hey, look… let’s just…”

He looked up at the night sky, in an attempt to hold back his tears. His throat had tightened, he let out a long exhale, trying to focus on the shape of the incomplete moon, the stars that shone brightly, the happy song that was being played, he couldn’t remember the name of it. Anything to try and not crumble in your arms there and then. He had to keep it together.

“Let’s… let’s not talk about this now, okay?” his voice was soft, mainly because emotions were making it hard for him to speak. “We’ve already spoken about what happened. We just… like… We just need to move on now, yeah?”

But you shook your head.

“I fucked up. I fucked up because I was terrified. I was so fucking scared of letting myself have feelings for you… I was so scared of being too lonely when you’re away, of not being able to cope with your absence, with how much I fucking miss you every time you leave. And I was scared you could meet someone better, someone who could follow your lifestyle in a way I couldn’t and then you would have dumped me and…”

You heaved an exhausted sigh, while Andrew was remaining motionless, trying to process what you were saying.

“I should have never thought about this arrangement. I should have never accepted that stupid date. I should have never pushed you away.”

You spoke again after a short silence. Your next phrase knocked out all the air from his lungs.

“I love you. I’ve always loved you… God, I’m so sorry, Andy…”

He couldn’t answer to that. He couldn’t react to it either. He couldn’t process what your words meant…

Besides you were drunk… very drunk… this… this was a mistake…

“Let’s get you inside, Y/N, okay? Come on, now.”

At long last, you let him help you to your feet, and with his help you were able to walk back to the tent. Some members of Sam’s and Daphne’s families were staying at the mansion for the night, and there were still a few empty rooms available. Andrew got a key, and safely helped you to a bed. He took off your shoes, made you lie down, tucked you in. The time it took him to come back with a glass of water to put on your bedside table, you were fast asleep.

He took a moment to watch you like this, hair a mess of locks stranded on the pillow, looking peaceful, even if your crying was still visible. He gently brushed your cheek, dropped a gentle kiss to your forehead, and then he was gone.

[rwrbmovie]

BTS of #RWRBMovie: NYE kiss

via Consequence:

It was important for Henry to be the grab-and-kiss-er in this scenario, Lopez says, because “there’s something very striking about a character such as Henry, who has spent up to that point in the film being very buttoned down and seemingly in control of his urges in that moment, losing the ability to control his urges and give into the desire to kiss Alex.” Plus, there’s the additional context of Henry being literal royalty: “There’s something very sexy and romantic about a prince dropping his guard. And taking things that are old movie tropes and letting two boys do it — that was definitely the romantic gesture that we wanted to go for.” Of course, on a practical level, the grab-and-kiss has certain practical elements to consider. “The only danger on set was that sometimes [Nicholas Galitzine] would come at [Taylor Zakhar Perez] so forcefully that they would just bang faces. We were really worried about fat lips and bloody noses,” he laughs. It wasn’t just the passion of the actors that was an issue, but the terrain — according to Lopez, “they were on a slope. So Nick was going downhill.” (Passion with a little help from Newtonian physics.) On set for this as well as the film’s other, more graphic scenes was intimacy coordinator Robbie Taylor Hunt, who oversaw shooting the kiss in two different ways: “We had one where Alex is completely taken by surprise and doesn’t respond to the kiss. And then we did Version B, where Alex is taken by surprise and then does respond to the kiss. Because I wasn’t quite sure what was going to work, so I gave myself the option of having both.” Process-wise, this meant rehearsing both versions and then shooting different angles and framings, which means “those lads kissed easily like 40 or 50 times that night,” Lopez laughs. “There’s nothing like having to kiss someone 40 times in a row to really, really take the allure out of kissing.”

While the grab-and-kiss is the best term I’ve been able to come up with for this maneuver, it’s not my favorite — if only because if you Google the phrase “grab and kiss” today, the search term pulls up very unsexy results. These unsexy results (including phrases like “attempted sexual assault” and “Donald Trump”) do serve as a necessary reminder of how delicate a balance one has to strike with this particular maneuver. As Lopez puts it, “there is a gray area and I think you see it in some older movies, in which they do the grab-and-kiss and it’s icky — it just feels not consensual at all, or very uncomfortable.” What’s so powerful about the grab-and-kiss is that it’s an embrace with purpose. There’s a backstory to it, usually one involving repressed emotions and deeply held longing. That was the strategy Lopez used with Red, White & Royal Blue, using the scenes leading up to the kiss beneath the tree to emphasize “the pull between them.” (Specifically, Lopez got what he calls his “West Side Story moment” during the New Year’s party, when a crowd dancing to Lil Jon’s “Get Low” does as instructed by the song, leaving a still-standing Henry and Alex to gaze at each other across the dance floor.)

[sunflowerrosewood]

Falling Asleep on Them During a Movie HC ~ Stray Kids

Author's Note: Since my other account @cheekyredwillow got deleted. I am adding some of my favorite fanfictions to this account and revamping this one with new ones. I hope to make an actual list of fandoms I am still a fan of! NO requests for the time being.

Warnings: maybe swearing but nothing major. Ends with something they say when they realize you fell asleep on them.

~~~

Bang Chan

You and Chris decided to have a movie night after he had been working so hard for the past 3 nights for the next single. The 3racha were working so hard and you dropped by with snacks and support for them.

To celebrate the single dropping and Chris's hardwork, you two decided to have a date in. A movie night with popcorn and sweets. You two had been wanting to see a new action movie that came out and it hit streaming devices a day ago.

So you two had set up the movie and the popcorn. You two munched away on the popcorn and wondered where the movie would go next. But after an hour in, you began to feel sleepy. Maybe it was due to work or staying up late these past nights but you were tired.

Chris noticed your body get heavy against him and looked down. He saw you sleeping softly. He smiled to himself.

"Goodnight my sweet Y/n. I'm so thankful you love me through everything. I hope to continue to grow into myself with you by my side." Chris said softly before kissing your temple.

Lee Know

You and Minho got along to a certain degree. You two weren't best friends like you were with Jisung and Changbin. But you two did like to be around each other.

What you did not know was that Minho has been harboring a crush on you for months. The whole group teased him about his crush because he would relax around you. The teasing was usually incessant.

You were invited over for a movie night with the boys. You were excited and ready to watch the newest action movie with them. The boys were already sitting by the TV when you arrived which left one spot by Minho. You felt your heart skip a beat as you did find Minho the most attractive from the group.

"Oops Y/n. You'll have to sit with Minho." Jisung said in a sing-song voice.

"I don't mind." You said as Minho looked up at you and smiled a little.

You sat down beside him and Chris started the movie. You didn't realize you had leaned into Minho as the movie started but he did. His heart skipped a beat.

The action movie finished and another movie started. About an hour in, you felt sleepy and felt yourself nodding off. You fell asleep against a warm chest.

Minho noticed you fell asleep during the second movie and chuckled. He wrapped his arm around you and whispered to Chris.

"Hand me a blanket." He whispered as Chris smiled and handed him one.

The others were too busy watching the movie as Minho wrapped you in a blanket.

"When you wake up, I promise to take you on a date. You are so wonderful Y/n. I don't want to lose you." Minho said softly.

Changbin

You and Changbin have been best friends for a few years now. You have harbored a crush on him for a year now. You were excited that he invited you to a movie night for the two of you. What you did not know was that he was planning on asking you out before the movies to turn the movie night to a date.

You arrived and Changbin had boxes of pizza waiting. You ran in and hugged him.

"I'm so excited for our movie night." You said as he chuckled.

"I have a quick question before we begin." Changbin said as you looked up.

"Are you okay?"

"I am! Y/n I was wondering if we could go out with one another? Like a relationship?"

"I-I would l-love to." You stuttered and Changbin kissed your cheek.

"I'm glad to hear that. Let's make this our first date."

Both of you excited that the movie night turned into a date night, you two curled up with one another. You two ate some pizza and started a comedy movie.

After many laughs and multiple movies, you two were on the third movie. After being full from pizza and happiness, you felt tired and fell asleep on Changbin's shoulder. Changbin threw a blanket around the two of you and hugged you closer.

"I'm so glad you accepted to go out with me. I cannot wait to take you on more dates. I have loved you since we first met. I'll prove this to you." He whispered before curling around you.

Hyunjin

You had just gotten over a cold and were seeing Hyunjin after a week of not seeing each other. You two were excited and Hyunjin got some of your favorite foods. You arrived at his place and Hyunjin immediately let you in. You noticed a new art piece by the door. It was a painting of your first date.

"Awe Hyunjin I love this." you said as Hyunjin hugged you from behind.

"I love this too Y/n. Ready for us to hang out?" He asked.

You two walked into his apartment and you saw a counter full of your favorite foods. The two of you made plates of food and ate. While eating, you two caught up after not seeing eachother. Hyunjin talked about rehearsal and you discussed what you did while you recovered. Then Hyunjin played some music. The two of you danced for a little bit before you two decided to watch a movie.

The movie had only played for 30 minutes when you began to get tired. You were still recovering and got tired easily. You fell asleep against Hyunjin's shoulder. After about 10 minutes, Hyunjin looked down and noticed you.

"Oh Y/n. I'm so sorry. I hope I didn't push you. Sleep now and rest. I want you to be your best. I love you so much." Hyunjin whispered and held you closer.

Han

You and Jisung have been dancing around each other's feelings for a while now. It has gotten on the rest of the other's nerves because you two would be cute together. Chris and Changbin decided to set up a movie night and to invite you two. A 3racha and you movie night that will end up a Jisung and Y/n movie night.

When you came over, you were excited to see the 3racha but more excited to see Jisung. You fell for him the day you two met but you were not sure if he felt the same. So you've kept it secret except with Felix and Seugmin.

To your surprise, you saw Jisung when you arrived but none of the other 3racha.

"Jisung where's the others?" You asked as he chuckled.

"Both of them had something to finish at the studio so they asked me to come home. They said for us to start the movies."

"O-Oh okay! Sure let's start!" You took a seat beside him.

As the movie started, you felt Jisung begin to lean. He shyly wrapped his arm around you.

"Is that okay?" Jisung asked as you nodded your head. "Y/n can I say something?"

"Sure!"

"Y/n, I have fallen for you since we first met and I really want to go on a date with you. Would you want to go on a date this weekend?" He asked.

"I w-would love to! I have fallen for you since we first met too." You said as Jisung immediately hugged you. You two looked at each other and leaned in. You two shared a soft kiss and both of you had a faint blush on your cheeks.

You two continued to watch the movie and you felt a lot more calm. You yawned and fell asleep against him. Jisung smiled at you and rubbed your arm softly.

"I'm so glad you said yes to me. I cannot wait to take you on this date and show you the best time. I love you so much Y/n." He whispered.

Felix

Your boyfriend Felix was coming home with the rest of the group today. They had a tour in Europe and were returning home. You spent the morning and afternoon setting up for his return. You cleaned the apartment and cooked his favorite meals before heading to the airport.

When you arrived at the airport, you saw them arriving. Your eyes met Felix's and you waved. A smile shined on his face as he saw you. As they made it through, Felix ran up and hugged you. The two of you shared a needed kiss.

"I'm ready to go home Y/n. I'm so happy to see you." Felix said softly.

"Let's go home." You said as you two headed back.

As you two arrived at home, you helped Felix get his luggage. You two walked in and Felix's eyes widened.

"Y/n! You didn't have to."

"Of course! I wanted to surprise you with your favorite food." You said as Felix went over to get a plate of food.

The two of you ate some food and Felix told you about his tour in Europe. You listened and asked some questions as you were interested in Europe. He loved telling you how the fans were excited to see them. As you two finished up, both of you cleaned dishes and put away leftovers.

"Want to watch a movie?" Felix asked as you nodded your head.

Felix turned on the TV and went into your watchlist to pick a move you two wanted to see. You both curled up on the couch with a blanket and let the movie roll.

As the movie ended, Felix noticed a weight by his side. You had fallen asleep on him and had your hand bunched in his clothes to hold him close.

"I'm so glad to be home with you Y/n. Thank you for doing so much. I love you my dear." Felix whispered and kissed your temple before he started to fall asleep too.

Seugmin

You and Seugmin are dating and have been for a couple of months. You two were having your first at home date. He mentioned seeing a new movie on a streaming platform and invited you over.

When you arrived and Seugmin let you in, you noticed he seemed down. He was not his chipper self from earlier.

"Is everything okay honey?" You asked.

"Not really. I got a couple of hate comments and they got to me before you arrived. I'm sorry." Seugmin said softly.

"It's okay. I'll be by your side. No matter what they said, you are my handsome and amazing boyfriend. I love you so much. I wish I could show you in more ways." You said and held your hands out.

Seugmin immediately hugged you tightly and rubbed your back. You rubbed his back soothingly. After a couple of minutes, Seugmin pulled you to the couch and turned on the movie.

You two sat down on the couch and Seugmin pulled the blanket around you two. You laid your head on his chest. As the movie began to play, you felt Seugmin rubbing your arm. It started to put you asleep. Soon enough, you were out.

Seugmin looked down and smiled to himself. He kissed the top of your head.

"I'm so glad you've been by my side. Even through my insecurities you stay. I love you so much Y/n. Thank you so much. I love you." He whispered.

Jeongin

You and Jeongin were excited to have a movie night in. He was working hard learning the new music and they gave them a break. When Jeongin came home, you ran up to him and threw your arms around him. You hugged him tightly.

"I'm so happy you get to relax and we can be together." You said as Jeongin chuckled.

"I'm excited too."

You two ordered in your favorite restaurant and waited for the food to arrive. It was the perfect food to watch movies to. Once the food arrived, you set the food around the couch. Jeongin set up the movie. You two began to eat and watch the first movie of the night.

"This was a good idea to order in. I was so tired from practice today." Jeongin explained.

"I'm glad you're enjoying it!" You said.

From comedy to romance to action, you watched many movies. It was the 5th movie when you began to feel sleepy. You laid your head on Jeongin's shoulders and fell asleep. Jeongin noticed a little while later and chuckled. He laid his head on top of yours.

"Goodnight Y/n. I have been so busy recently yet you've been so caring. You've been patient. I love you Y/n. This break will be for us." Jeongin whispered and started to fall asleep too.

[niallerspayno]

The Line - Part 1

Masterlist

You and Zayn are inseparable childhood best friends, until one night when you make a pact to be each other’s rebound whenever one of you has a break up. Things get complicated when you start dating Louis, Zayn’s bandmate, and the line between friends and more begins to blur.

Tags: Zayn x childhood friend!reader, Louis x reader, friends to lovers, fluff, mutual pining, some smut

Part 2 | Part 3

…

You’ve known Zayn for as long as you’ve known yourself. Your childhoods were spent as neighbors, running between each other’s houses as if the fences weren’t even there. Your mums always said you two were a pair of troublemakers, joined at the hip and scheming from the moment you could talk.

It never mattered that Zayn was quieter than you, or that you sometimes pulled him into your whirlwind of ideas when he clearly wanted to stay on the sidelines. He always followed anyway, his steady presence grounding you when things inevitably spiraled out of control. He’s always been like that—a constant in your life, someone you’ve never had to question.

By the time you were teenagers, he knew everything about you. Your favorite songs, what you hated on your sandwiches, the kinds of movies that made you cry. And you knew him just as well—how he hummed when he was thinking, how he’d hide behind a cigarette when he was nervous, how his laugh could fill a room when he let it.

It wasn’t that you didn’t notice how good he looked as you both grew older. You did. How could you not? His sharp jawline, his dark eyes, the tattoos he got when you were still debating whether or not to dye your hair—it all caught your attention, made your stomach twist in ways it hadn’t before.

But Zayn is your best friend, and the thought of risking that—of losing him—has always kept you in check. It’s easier this way, you tell yourself, to push the feelings down, to ignore the way your heart beats faster when he throws an arm over your shoulders or leans in close to tell you a secret.

You’re the one he comes to when things fall apart, and he’s the one who can always make you laugh when you feel like crying. That’s enough. It has to be.

Because if it’s not, you don’t know what you’d do.

…

The pact is made on a vulnerable night after your first break up. You’re curled up on the couch in your living room, your head resting on Zayn’s shoulder, the steady rise and fall of his breathing grounding you. The tears on your cheeks have dried, but the ache in your chest remains, raw and heavy. Zayn’s arm is wrapped around you, his thumb brushing soft, absentminded circles on your shoulder. He hasn’t said much since he arrived, just held you, his quiet presence doing what words couldn’t.

“He was such an idiot,” you mumble, your voice hoarse from crying.

Zayn hums in agreement, the sound low and steady. “The biggest idiot.”

You glance up at him, catching the faintest trace of a smile tugging at his lips. It makes your own lips twitch in response, though it doesn’t quite reach your eyes. “You’re supposed to say something encouraging, you know. Like, ‘you’ll find someone better.’”

His chuckle is soft, warm. “You don’t need someone better. You’ve got me.”

The words settle between you like a weight, light enough to brush off but heavy enough to make your chest tighten. You snort, trying to defuse the strange pull in his voice. “Yeah, every girl’s dream—a best mate as her backup plan.”

Zayn shifts, his brow furrowing as he looks at you. There’s no teasing in his expression now, just a steady sincerity that makes your pulse flutter. “What’s wrong with that?”

You blink at him, caught completely off guard. “You’re joking.”

He shakes his head, the corner of his mouth twitching in that familiar, crooked smile that always feels like home. “Not really. I mean… think about it. You trust me, yeah? I trust you. If the world keeps throwing us idiots, why not help each other out? No strings. Just… comfort. When we need it.”

Your breath catches, your mind racing to figure out if he’s serious. His gaze is steady, unwavering, but there’s a softness there too—an unspoken understanding that only the two of you could share. “You mean, like… a rebound?”

“Exactly.” His lips curve slightly, but his voice is quiet, careful. “One night, no strings. No expectations, no weirdness after. Just you and me.”

It’s reckless. A hundred ways it could go wrong flash through your mind. But there’s also something heartbreakingly simple in it—something about the way Zayn looks at you, like he’s offering a lifeline without asking for anything in return.

“That’s ridiculous,” you whisper, shaking your head.

“Maybe.” His thumb brushes against your shoulder again, soothing. “But at least it’s real. Better than wasting time on people who don’t deserve you. We know what we’re getting—no lies, no games. Just us.”

Your heart twists, torn between the comfort of his presence and the terrifying vulnerability of what he’s suggesting. “Zayn…”

He leans closer, his forehead nearly brushing yours. His voice drops, soft but resolute. “It’s just you and me. Always has been, yeah? This doesn’t change that.”

The conviction in his tone makes something inside you give way. You’ve never doubted him before—why should now be any different?

“Okay,” you whisper, the word trembling in the air. “But only if we have rules.”

His lips twitch into a small grin, though his eyes remain serious. “Of course. Lay them on me.”

“One night only,” you say, your voice firmer this time. “No repeats. No feelings. And we never, ever talk about it after.”

Zayn nods slowly, taking each word in. “One night. No repeats. No feelings. Got it.”

“Promise me,” you urge, your voice cracking slightly.

“I promise.” His voice is steady, his hand warm against your skin. “Nothing will ever change between us.”

You meet Zayn's eyes, searching for any flicker of hesitation. There's none-just warmth, steady and unshaken, like he's holding the weight of the moment for both of you. He reaches out, his hand brushing your cheek, his thumb tracing the curve of your jaw. His touch is soft, reverent, as if he's memorizing this moment, and it sends a shiver down your spine.

"You're sure?" he murmurs, his voice low, careful.

"I'm sure," you whisper, the words barely audible, but he hears them.

Zayn leans in slowly, giving you every chance to stop him, but you don't. His lips meet yours, warm and soft, and the kiss is tender at first— a question, a promise. His hand moves to the back of your neck, drawing you closer, and the kiss deepens, the weight of his love and care pouring into every movement.

Your fingers find the hem of his shirt, tugging gently as if asking for permission. He pulls back just enough to help you, lifting the fabric over his head and letting it fall to the floor. You take a moment to drink him in, the planes of his chest, the tattoos you've seen a hundred times but never like this.

He smiles softly, a little self-conscious under your gaze. "What?"

"Nothing," you say, your voice thick with emotion. "You're just... you."

His expression softens, and he cups your cheek, his thumb brushing over your skin. "And you're you. That's all I've ever needed."

You pull him back to you, your lips meeting his again as his hands begin to explore. He's slow, deliberate, tracing the lines of your body like he's committing them to memory. His touch leaves a trail of warmth in its wake, and you can't help the way your body responds, leaning into him, needing more.

Clothes are discarded piece by piece, each movement careful, unhurried. Zayn watches you with an intensity that makes your heart race, his gaze never leaving yours as he guides you back onto the couch. The weight of him above you is comforting, grounding, and you feel a strange mix of vulnerability and safety in the way he holds you.

"Tell me if you want me to stop," he says softly, his forehead resting against yours.

You shake your head, your hands tangling in his hair. "I don't want. you to stop."

He kisses you again, deeper this time, his body moving against yours in a rhythm that feels instinctive, like you've done this a thousand times before. The heat between you builds steadily, every touch, every movement drawing you closer together.

Zayn is careful, attentive, his hands and lips mapping every inch of your skin, making you feel seen, cherished. His movements are slow, deliberate, as if he's afraid to rush and break the fragile connection between you.

When he finally enters you, it's with a care that makes your breath catch. The sensation is overwhelming, a mix of pleasure and emotion that leaves you clinging to him, your nails digging into his shoulders. He pauses, giving you time to adjust, his lips brushing against your temple as he whispers your name like a prayer.

"You okay?" he asks, his voice barely audible.

You nod, tears pricking at the corners of your eyes, though you're not sure why. "Yeah. I'm okay."

He begins to move, his rhythm slow and steady, and the world seems to fall away. It's just the two of you, tangled together, your breaths and heartbeats aligning. The intimacy is overwhelming, not just physical but emotional, a connection so deep it feels like it's always been there, waiting for this moment.

Every touch, every movement feels deliberate, like he's trying to show you without words how much you mean to him. You lose yourself in the rhythm, the heat building between you until it's almost unbearable.

"Zayn," you whisper, your voice breaking as the tension inside you peaks.

He holds you tighter, his movements becoming more deliberate, and together you reach the edge, falling into it like you've done this a hundred times before. The release is intense, shattering, and you cling to him, his name tumbling from your lips like a lifeline.

Afterward, he stays close, his body still pressed against yours, his forehead resting against your shoulder. The room is silent except for the sound of your breaths, slowly evening out.

"You okay?" he asks again, his voice soft, almost hesitant.

You nod, your fingers tracing lazy patterns on his back. "Yeah. Are you?"

He lifts his head to meet your gaze, his eyes searching yours. "I am."

There's an unspoken understanding between you, a fragile peace that feels like it could shatter at any moment. But for now, you hold onto it, letting yourself rest in the quiet comfort of Zayn's arms.

…

A few years later you smooth the hem of your dress for the third time, the nerves in your stomach twisting tighter with every second. Zayn’s been your best friend for as long as you can remember, but his world has changed so much over the past few years. The small-town boy you grew up with is now part of the biggest band in the world, touring stadiums and gracing magazine covers.

Still, he’s never changed with you. He calls when he can, texts when he can’t, and always makes time to see you when he’s back home. Today, though, feels different. Today, you’re stepping into his world.

The door to the hotel suite opens, and Zayn’s familiar grin immediately puts you at ease. “There she is,” he says, pulling you into a hug. His cologne surrounds you, warm and familiar, and for a moment, it’s just the two of you again.

“Big deal now, huh?” you tease, stepping back and taking in the plush room behind him. “Fancy hotels, famous friends.”

“Shut up,” he says, laughing. “You know it’s still me. Come on, the guys are dying to meet you.”

He leads you inside, his hand resting lightly on your back, and your nerves spike again. The room is buzzing with energy—laughter, chatter, the faint hum of music playing in the background.

“Guys, this is Y/N,” Zayn announces, his voice cutting through the noise. “My best mate. Play nice.”

You barely have time to process the faces turning your way before a whirlwind of introductions begins. Harry, all dimples and charm, greets you first, followed by Liam’s warm handshake and Niall’s cheeky grin.

And then there’s Louis.

His blue eyes meet yours, and for a second, the world tilts. He’s leaning casually against the arm of a couch, his smile crooked, like he knows exactly what he’s doing to your heart.

“Louis,” he says simply, extending his hand.

You take it, your fingers brushing his. “Hi,” you manage, your voice softer than you’d like.

Zayn’s voice cuts through the moment, his tone light but pointed. “Alright, Lou, don’t scare her off.”

Louis smirks, not breaking eye contact. “Wouldn’t dream of it.”

The rest of the introductions blur together after that, but you can’t shake the feeling of Louis’ eyes on you, watching, assessing. It’s unsettling and thrilling all at once.

Zayn steers you to the couch, making room for you beside him. The conversation flows easily, stories and jokes flying across the room, but you’re hyper-aware of Louis, who’s taken the seat across from you. Every so often, your eyes meet, and his grin deepens, like he’s caught you in some unspoken game.

“Alright,” Niall announces after a while, clapping his hands together. “Who’s up for food? I’m starving.”

As the group begins to stir, Louis leans forward, his elbows resting on his knees, his gaze fixed on you. “You coming out with us?”

The question feels loaded, though you’re not sure why. You glance at Zayn, who shrugs. “Your call.”

“Yeah,” you say, surprised at your own boldness. “I’d like that.”

Louis’ smile widens, and something about it makes your pulse race.

As the group files out of the suite, Zayn falls into step beside you, his arm slung casually around your shoulders. “So?” he asks under his breath. “What do you think?”

You glance back, catching Louis looking at you again. “They seem great,” you reply, keeping your tone neutral.

Zayn hums, clearly unconvinced. “Uh-huh. Just remember—he’s trouble.”

The warning is playful, but the edge in Zayn’s voice lingers, making you wonder if he knows just how drawn to Louis you already feel.

…

The restaurant buzzes with the kind of energy that fills the room with a comforting hum. Laughter spills from your table, the clink of glasses punctuating each conversation. You’re nestled between Zayn and Harry, but your focus is steadily being stolen by Louis, sitting across from you, who seems to have this effortless way of drawing your attention.

“So,” Louis begins, leaning forward slightly, his elbows on the table, eyes locked on yours, “Zayn’s told us loads about you.”

“Loads,” Harry adds with a teasing grin. “Like how you’re the only one who can put up with him.”

“Shut it,” Zayn mutters, nudging Harry, but there’s a hint of a blush creeping up his neck.

Louis smirks, enjoying himself far too much. “What I’m wondering is how someone like you”—he pauses for effect, his eyes sparkling—“ended up wasting time on someone like him.”

Zayn rolls his eyes. “She’s not wasting time.”

“I would be,” you tease, laughing lightly. “Honestly, I don’t even know how I put up with him.”

Louis raises an eyebrow, his grin widening. “Exactly. You’ve got a bit of that troublemaker look about you.”

“Troublemaker?” You tilt your head, the challenge in your gaze matching his. “You’ve got the wrong idea.”

He leans closer, his voice dropping slightly. “Oh, I think I’ve got it right.”

Zayn shifts next to you, clearing his throat. You catch the way his hand rests on the back of your chair, the motion subtle but protective. “Let’s not make this about me,” he interjects. “She’s not a troublemaker.”

“Oh, she definitely is,” Niall chimes in, looking at you with a knowing grin. “She’s always been drawn to the bad boys, hasn’t she?”

There’s a flicker of something in your chest at Niall’s words, but you laugh it off. “I wouldn’t say that.”

Louis’ eyes narrow slightly, a sly smile tugging at his lips. “You can try to deny it all you want, but you’ve definitely got that dangerous energy about you. Bet you’ve never been able to resist a bit of trouble.”

You bite your lip, the heat from his gaze making your pulse quicken. “Maybe… I’ve been known to fall for the wrong type, now and then.” You try to make light of it, but it feels a little too close to the truth.

Zayn’s jaw tightens, and you glance at him, catching the subtle shift in his expression. But before you can say anything, Louis speaks again, his voice low and teasing. “Well, I like a challenge. What about you, Zayn? You think she’s too much trouble for me?”

Zayn doesn’t immediately respond, his gaze unwavering. “Just keep it friendly, Lou.”

“Of course, mate,” Louis replies smoothly, his grin never faltering. “Just having some fun.”

As the night continues, you notice how Louis keeps his attention on you. He asks questions, not the usual casual ones, but deeper ones—about your childhood, your life outside of the chaos. It makes you feel something unfamiliar.

“Okay, maybe you’re not as much trouble as I thought,” Louis says with a laugh, his eyes softening. “But still, I’m pretty sure you keep life interesting.”

You smile, shaking your head. “I just get caught up in things sometimes. But trouble’s never far off, is it?”

Louis’ grin widens, but there’s something more sincere about it now. “I think it’s my favorite kind of fun.”

The conversation shifts again, but now it’s like the dynamic has subtly changed. There’s an undeniable pull between you and Louis, a chemistry that’s only been intensifying as the night goes on.

As the group starts to filter out, Liam gives you a knowing look. “Watch yourself,” he says in a teasing tone. “Looks like Louis has his eyes on you.”

You roll your eyes. “I can handle myself.”

Zayn, however, is unusually quiet. His gaze is sharp, flicking between you and Louis, his hand still resting on the back of your chair.

Louis glances over to Zayn, his expression almost too casual. “I’m just making conversation, mate. Relax.”

But Zayn’s voice is low when he responds. “Just keep it respectful.”

Louis doesn’t flinch, his smile not fading in the slightest. “Always.”

The tension in the air is thick now, and when the others start heading out, you’re left alone with Louis. He steps closer, his smile turning more earnest.

“Can I see you again?” Louis asks, his voice quieter, more sincere than it’s been all night.

You glance at Zayn, who hasn’t moved, his presence like a silent challenge. But you can’t deny the pull toward Louis.

“Sure,” you say, your heart thudding in your chest. “I’d like that.”

Louis’ grin spreads, pure mischief and warmth. “Good. I’ll make sure it’s worth your time.”

Zayn watches the exchange with a quiet intensity, and as you head toward the door, you feel the weight of his gaze on you, even as Louis’ presence lingers like a promise.

“Are you really going out with him?” Zayn asks softly, his tone almost too careful, his voice low enough that Louis can’t hear.

“Why not?” you reply lightly, but inside, the tension coils tighter.

Zayn doesn’t respond, his lips pressed into a thin line. You can’t help but wonder if this will be another one of those times when the attraction to the bad boy and the allure of danger come with consequences.

…

Part 2

[cxffecoupx]

all i want for christmas

boo seungkwan + christmas music blasting at all times wc: 697 warnings: seungkwan being absolutely intolerable with his singing (not necessarily a warning tho), made in a rush, not proofread author's notes: i wrote it this morning pls forgive me if it's not good i tried my best😭 i still hope you like it (even just a lil) winter wonderland masterlist

it all started the day after halloween.

[november 1]

you wake up to the radio playing in the living room.

It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas Everywhere you go Take a look at the five and ten, it's glistening once again With candy canes and silver lanes that glow....

sleep still looms in your head, but the sunlight streaming in through the windows, the pots and spoons rattling from the kitchen and the loud song playing all quickly drive away any remainders of slumber. you sigh and get up dejectedly.

stumbling into the kitchen, you see a very joyful seungkwan dancing around in the kitchen, hands moving animatedly as he sings along with the song. you'd have turned off that loud thing minutes ago if it weren't for him singing, so you reduce the volume and wait for him to notice. his head whips towards you.

"yn! you're up!" he beams.

"halloween was just yesterday; the dead are still lurking around, and you're playing christmas songs?"

"it's all for getting into the spirit of the holidays, babe. that's why i'm playing 'its beginning to look a lot like christmas'; it's not christmas yet, but we're getting there."

you'd want to fight, but then you realise you two share the same braincell because why else does his logic start to make sense to you?

so you just stay there, at your makeshift dining table (that's also your workspace), watching him belting out notes that could honestly rival mariah carey while making pancakes that ended up being too salty.

[november 23]

you've now reached the stage where seungkwan speaks with christmas songs.

you're driving to seungcheol's house for jihoon's birthday party, and you realise your mistake halfway: seungkwan has the aux cord and this is the eighth christmas song playing.

What a bright time, it's the right time To rock the night away Jingle bell time is a swell time To go glidin' in a one horse sleigh...

"kwannie... can we please play a normal pop song now? i will actually lose my mind if i hear one more bell jingling," you tell him.

he lets out a dramatic sigh. "what sin must i have done in my past life, to deserve such betrayal?"

you roll your eyes, but can't help letting out chuckle.

"i dedicate this next and final song to my partner that does not appreciate the holidays with me."

Last Christmas, I gave you my heart But the very next day, you gave it away This year, to save me from tears I'll give it to someone special.

seungkwan starts singing in a way that would make anyone think he's going through his fourth divorce. but you know better; you know all his dramatics that only make you scoff in amuse when the first thing he utters after meeting his friends (while they were discussing his christmas movie list) is:

"my partner doesn't love me like i thought they do guys. i'm in love with someone who doesn't appreciate my flair."

[december 6]

the gradual decline of music in your house ever since that last conversation suddenly became suffocating when you noticed it. you meant it as a joke; he knew it was a joke; and yet, no matter how annoying you found it, you noticed how the approaching christmas didn't feel like it without your boyfriend competing against the original artists of the songs.

so when you see him shuffling around the house with a pout on his face while 'normal' music plays, you discreetly try to change the song.

I don't want a lot for Christmas There is just one thing I need...

seungkwan pops his head out of the room like a toddler who heard candy packets opening. he keeps watching as you attempt to sing the song, voice cracking and scratching more often than not. when the song reaches the chorus, you look to him, and he reacts like a deer caught in the headlights. you point towards him and gesture him to come closer, holding your hand out in a fist to mimic a mic and urging him to sing.

"i thought you hated christmas songs..." he mumbles.

"this is december, baby. it's officially christmas season," you scream over the music. he gives a shy smile.

"besides, i don't want a lot for christmas, other than watching you sing," you say and give him a little smooch on the lips.

he blushes for a moment before holding the mic (your hand) and singing at the top of his voice.

...Santa, won't you bring me the one I really need? Won't you please bring my baby to me?

all is well in the world again, you think.

as seungkwan eases into his element, all you can do is admire from afar. you might not be the biggest fan of christmas (not when seungkwan exists), but Santa gave you an early x'mas present, and you're forever grateful for it.

prompt by @novelbear divider by @adornedwithlight

[muddyorbsblr]

would've could've should've pt2

See my full list of works here!

Part of the 500 Follower Celebration Requested by: Anonymous

Summary: You and Loki attend an alumni event at your college, hiding in plain sight while on a mission to retrieve information about HYDRA experiments within campus; you cross paths with someone from your past.

Word Count: 6.5k [pace yourself; keep water on standby]

Warnings (spoilers ahead but also you need these): 18+ | heavy themes (retraumatizing; emotional trauma from past relationship; past relationship with severe power imbalance; past relationship involving severely predatory behavior; implied dubcon mentioned in memories); mentions of human experimentation involving drug-induced mental and emotional subjugation; angst; Tony's a-hole tendencies; language [let me know if I missed anything and I'll change it immediately]

Things to be aware of: established relationship; keep the song this is titled after in mind especially "I damn sure never would've danced with the devil at 19"

There'd been a tension between you and Loki ever since that movie night gone wrong where his brother let slip that he was frustrated in his current relationship. At least where physical contact was concerned, or lack thereof. Thor even went so far as to insinuate that Loki doubted his girlfriend even loved him if she wasn't even willing to share her body with him.

The unease was driving the god to the brink of madness, every part of him shaking with the urge to pull you into a room and beg you to tell him what he could do to make things better. He would do just about anything for you, and it pained him to realize that you didn't actually know that.

Perhaps with this new mission that you two were being sent off to, you two could have some much needed time together away from all the noise. And especially away from his brother that thought he knew what was best for him. Thor didn't know a damned thing.

You were best for him. He just needed to be leagues better in showing you that so you could know it as well as he did.

And even though the destination wasn't all that romantic, the god still had a good few tricks up his sleeve that could help him make do with what he had.

"Y/N, quick question about lodging arrangements for your mission with Laufeyson." Loki immediately tuned out all of the other noise around him to listen in on your conversation with the worker from Operations & Logistics. One of the perks he'd found from his Jotun heritage: the enhanced senses that allowed him to eavesdrop even from across the rather spacious room.

"I don't care about the view, Kristy, just stick us wherever," you spoke around the cookie you were munching on.

"Oh, no it's not about the view. You two are booked for a suite, so you'll have a fantastic view of the Hills regardless. Maybe even the Hollywood sign!" She bounded in her spot slightly, clearly excited as she imagined what you'd be seeing from the suite's balcony.

Meanwhile the raven-haired god was already losing himself in the image of sharing some champagne with you, your features illuminated by the city lights. Perhaps stealing multiple kisses through the night.

"I was wondering about the uhh…bedroom arrangements? You want one bedroom or two?"

He was about to speak up, nearly shouting that you only needed a single room with a single bed before you answered, not a single part of you betraying your image of calm consideration. "Two." A pit formed in his stomach as your eyes didn't even dart to steal a glance at him.

"You sure about that, jellybean?" Stark butted in, looking up from his seat at a nearby table with his daughter. "You're supposed to be masquerading as a couple all happy in love and shit."

"Uh huh, sure. In public."

"Alright then. Scenario." He leaned forward on his seat, pointing his writing instrument at you. "Say someone sees you while you're out on the streets, takes an interest in getting photographs of you. You're in Los Angeles, paparazzi's a dime a dozen and some of them know how much pictures of Avengers sell, especially if they look like they're dating. Say our hypothetical pap friend has a telephoto lens that can see into your suite and sees you going into separate rooms. What then?"

You didn't even take a moment to think it over. Instead shrugging and answering him in a perfectly laid back tone, "Couples fight. Paint a smile for the cameras and sleep in separate beds. That's Hollywood, baby."

Loki's pulse thundered in his ears, almost dulling out the way that Stark turned back to his daughter and told her, "You do not ever go to your Auntie Y/N for relationship advice, are we clear?" The little girl only answered her father with a little salute.

Was that what was happening? The tension that ran thick between you two whenever you were so much as in the same breathing space together? Were you fighting?

"Two rooms it is then," the Logistics worker spoke again, tapping away at her tablet before giving both you and Stark a thumbs up, confirming that the reservation had been made.

"Hey, Reindeer Games, jellybean, word of advice? You know, from a friend or colleague or whatever you wanna call me?"

"You're my friend, Stark, I'm Morgan's godmother for fuck's sake," you shot back at the same time that Loki said, "Well an annoyance would be the term I'd use, but go ahead."

"Try to have fun? You're going to your college reunion, Y/N. I'm sure you have some familiar faces you wanna say hi to, reminisce about your random acts of debauchery and dance with like you're 19 again at the club with your fake IDs trying to score some alcohol from the bartender that pretends those cards are legit?" He then turned his focus to Loki. "And you. Try to get some. Unless of course you're still miserably attached to Little Miss Prim and Prissy with a fifty foot pole because she doesn't wanna do the naked tango with you."

"What's a tango?" the smaller Stark queried, looking up from her workbook.

"It's a dance, baby," you answered her, smirking into your drink before you took a sip.

"Naked dancing, Auntie Y/N? I'm confused." The Logistics worker decided to take her leave at this moment, scurrying out of the room with a little nod toward everyone present.

"I know you are, baby." You walked over to her, ruffling her hair before placing a kiss on the top of the little girl's head. "Ask your parents about naked tangos. I'm not gonna be the one to talk to you about the birds and the bees."

"Birds and bees can dance with each other? But isn't a bee too small for a bird?"

"All excellent questions, sweetie." You gave Stark a mischievous look that would have done the god proud had it not been for the knots still sitting heavy in his stomach. "Good luck, Tony. And for the record? I wasn't a party girl in college. Some of us actually had to bury our noses in books and study our way to our degree. We can't all be genius billionaire playboy philanthropists."

"Ah, come on, jellybean, there had to be something you did for fun in college." The way you froze for a fraction of a second didn't go unnoticed by the god, but it seemed to slip past Stark and his daughter all too easily. "Just remember that this shouldn't just be a mission for you, you're gonna be among your old friends. Take a second to...I don't know, mingle. Catch up."

"Stark? The only reason I even agreed to go to the reunion is because of the mission. Our intel found evidence suggesting that HYDRA took over and repurposed a building in my old college and they might be housing volatile maybe even catastrophic kinds of compounds in there, and we're just going for a recon mission. In and out. The only purpose I'd have for mingling is wanting to see who in campus might be involved in the shady shit."

"Fine, whatever floats your boat, Y/L/N. At least go say hi to your old professors, though. Might make their entire year being able to brag to their incoming classes that they once mentored an Avenger back in the day."

For some reason those words from Stark had you freezing up even more, trying to mask it by nodding a little too vigorously before taking a swift leave to the kitchen area, setting your mug down. Loki took that as his opportunity to perhaps have a moment with you before you went off to your apartment for the night. He made his way to you, speaking just barely above a whisper. "Darling, I'm so sorry you had to hear that barb from Stark." His arms ached to simply reach over and pull you into an embrace, the only thing stopping him being the reminder that you both had agreed to keep your current entanglement with one another more private.

But he wanted more than anything to ignore that reminder completely. Especially after looking upon your features and seeing a blank stare of what he horrifyingly recognized as defeat in your eyes.

"It's fine, Mischief," you answered him, your voice monotonous and almost completely devoid of emotion. "He doesn't know he was talking about me. Serves me right anyway. Prim and prissy might as well be tattooed on my forehead."

The god's skin bristled with irritation hearing you repeat the billionaire's words as if you were already accepting of the new unwelcome moniker. "I should have a word with him. Tell him his remarks have the most undesired effect on you. He'll stop, I'm sure of it. Once he knows that it's you. Even be remorseful."

"You tell him and everyone will know," you deadpanned, your face remaining stoic as ever. "He'll tell everyone before the night's over and suddenly what's private isn't so private anymore. Is that what you want?"

He stood silent, staring at you with your blank expression that you'd given him since that disastrous night where Thor made the idiotic remarks that so efficiently drove a wedge between you two. A wedge he somehow didn't know how to dislodge. "I…I simply want for us to be okay."

His heart splintered seeing you give him something between a grimace and a small smile, shrugging before answering in the same flat tone, "Then we're okay."

Then why does it feel as if you're pushing me farther and farther away with every passing day? he wanted to ask you, the words weighing heavy on his tongue as he watched you walk away, back to your apartment. Why does it feel like I've lost you?

The level of guardedness you displayed ever since you stepped foot on your old campus put Loki on high alert. You always exhibited a calculated caution in missions, but this seemed beyond that. There was nothing in your stance that implied your readiness to fight and defend yourself, but rather there was a fear.

A readiness to run. To disappear.

Your shivering in his hold did nothing to convince him of any other explanation. Being here elicited a fear in you that he couldn't comprehend. As if there were ghosts from your past lurking in the shadowy corners of the dimly lit gymnasium.

"Oh my gosh, is that…Y/N?" a high-pitched voice shrieked over the thumping stereo, coming from a rather bubbly looking woman that was bounding toward you, arms outstretched with a wide beaming grin on her face. "I haven't seen you since graduation! Our old profs just can't stop talking about you and how proud they are that they taught an Avenger, they're hoping they get to see you tonight. Get a picture or two." She then turned her attention to Loki, jaw on the floor when he saw his arm gently wrapped around you. "Are you two--?!"

"Ohh! Uhm…no." You worked your way out of Loki's hold to give the woman a friendly embrace before turning back to face him. "Loki, this is Bianca, we shared a good number of classes together. Bianca, this is Loki, my uhh--" Your voice caught in your throat trying to find a word to describe the god.

I'm yours, little mortal. Plain and simple, he wanted to tell you, regardless of present company.

"We work together," you told her, the words worsening the sinking feeling that he had in his stomach. "Work's been a little slow lately so Stark assigned me to show him around and expose him to what a former college girl's life is like."

"College girl? You?" The woman burst into a fit of giggles. "Y/N you were many things when we roamed these halls, but you were more a mini professor than anything. I never once even saw you step foot at a frat party or a club…you were always just hanging out with--"

"You know what, you're absolutely right," you cut her off, your voice louder than normal even with the thumping music surrounding you all. "Loki, maybe you'd be better suited to learn from my old friends. Go off with Bianca, she and the other girls can't possibly steer you wrong."

The god's blood ran cold as your words hit him. He felt as if you were steering him away from you for more than just this moment. As if your sentiment held a poorly veiled secondary sentiment, pushing him away from you so that he could pursue someone else with your blessing.

He did his best to put on a casual smile, to politely decline your offering of your old campus friend. "I accompanied you to learn from you, little mortal," he spoke over the music, reaching for your hand and lacing his fingers between yours. "I wish to stay with you. You cannot rid yourself of me that easily."

"I'm not ridding myself of you, Mischief," you shot back, your friend's eyes darting rapidly between the two of you before slowly stepping away. "It's more of the other way around. We both know that I'm holding you back, so here's your exit--"

"I don't want an exit, Y/N, I want you," he insisted through gritted teeth, fighting every urge to lead you both into a more secluded corner so you could talk this out without having to shout just so you could hear each other. "I wish to be with you, regardless of--"

"Well as I live and breathe, that's a face I didn't think I'd see again." Your eyes widened hearing the voice of the man that approached you next, your pulse beating so furiously that Loki could see it pumping against your neck.

This was definitely not one of your former classmates. The man was middle-aged, his hair obviously colored to mask the silver that was peeking through at the roots as well as his eyebrows. He did what he could to dress himself in line with what was considered stylish but so clearly missed the mark. And emphasizing his age further was the clearly decades younger woman he had as his companion, looking as if she belonged in his classroom rather than in his bedroom.

"Prof--Professor Richardson," you stammered, the breathy almost fearful tone in your voice immediately putting the god on high alert. "Bianca m-mentioned you and the other guys were here tonight."

"Oh, come on Y/N it's been years since you had yourself folded into those awkward armchairs, there's no need to be so formal with me. Please, call me Simon. In fact, I should probably be a touch more formal with you, considering that one of my favorite students is now my favorite Avenger." His eyes quickly darted to the god's. "No offense, dude. You're pretty great, too. There's just something about those spandex suits, you know?"

You gripped Loki's hand tighter for a fraction of a second as the man's eyes roamed your form unabashedly, the spiteful jealousy from his companion written all over her face.

He didn't wait for you to introduce him again as someone you simply 'worked with', choosing to speak up to hopefully soothe your very obvious unease. "I must agree with you there, Y/N quite a remarkable agent." He extended his hand out toward your professor. "I'm Loki. Y/N's boyfriend."

Your breath caught in your throat in a strangled sound at the word, looking up at the god with wide eyes before trying to compose yourself again. Before you could speak, however, Simon did.

"Well if she's as remarkable a girlfriend as she was a student, then you have yourself a real catch right here. You're quite the lucky man--god, I mean." The woman next to him cleared her throat conspicuously loudly, the tail end of it sounding more like a muffled shriek, calling Simon's attention to her. He eyed her with a bit of irritation before turning back to you. "Oh where are my manners? This is Deena. I'm her thesis advisor for her graduating year."

"Oh…that's…" You were quite clearly struggling to form words. You addressed the student instead, your eyes quickly darting to the way she gripped her professor's arm so tightly before looking back at her. "Wow. You're quite the lucky young lady. Professor Richardson mentioned back then that he rarely took on the role of advisor. I'm sure your proposal was nothing short of remarkable."

The student offered you a tight smile in response, opening her mouth to speak before your former professor perked up again. "In all these years, nobody still quite measures up to you, though, Miss Y/L/N. Oh, sorry. Agent Y/L/N." He shifted his gaze to address the god once more. "It was a bleak day when I had to give her her final grade for her final course with me."

He reached his hand out toward you which you took with a slight tremor in your fingers. Loki way too easily heard the gasp that slipped out of you when Simon took your hand in both of his, pressing a lingering kiss to the back of your fingers.

"I hope to see you around some more while you're in town, Y/N." The way he rolled the syllables of your name, like he was savoring a taste on his tongue, didn't sight right with the Asgardian. He was the only one that could speak your name like that. At least…he hoped he still could.

"Yeah…s-sure," you mumbled, jerking your hand out of the professor's hand, subtly wiping the back of it on your skirt when you smoothed your hands over your dress. "En--Enjoy the rest of your night, Simon. Deena." You nodded your head at both of them before walking away abruptly, inadvertently towing Loki behind you.

As you put more distance between you and your former professor, the god heard a muffled sentiment from Simon to his companion. "Of course not, sweet thing, you know you're the only one for me."

There weren't many things that could catch the god off guard, but hearing those words from your former professor sent a slight chill down his spine, the confirmation of his initial suspicions written in black and white. Making him wonder now what your true history with the man that put both of you at a state of unease was.

"Darling, are you alright?" He held you closer to him as the crowd became denser, too many people surrounding you and pushing against you as you moved. "You're cold."

"I'm fine." He could barely hear you over the speakers. "I just need some air, I can barely hear myself think in here."

He didn't need to be told twice; this type of environment wasn't agreeable with him, either. Once you'd both stepped through the doors of the gymnasium and the air no longer tasted of alcohol and sweat, he pulled you into his arms, pressing a soft kiss to your forehead.

"What was that for?" you breathed out, the dazed tone of your voice making him hold you just a touch tighter.

He hadn't the full picture of what had your fight or flight kicking in to an extent he'd never seen on you before, but he held faith that when you were ready, you would tell him. For now, he would do what he could to at least ease your discomfort.

"Can I not simply wish to hold you, my love?"

You briefly wrapped your arms around him, returning his embrace before you took a step away from him, smoothing your hands over your dress once more. "Come on. I wanna find the lab and be done with this mission. Get back to New York sooner rather than later and all that."

His heart splintered even worse in his chest, his suspicion that your stepping away from him was more than simply physical now. That the last fortnight that he'd spent sleeping in his own apartment devoid of the simplest pleasure of having you in his arms as he slept through the night would be how he'd be spending the rest of his nights moving forward. He was at a loss for what he could do to somehow amend your relationship moving forward short of locking you both in a room and offering an ultimatum.

Tell him how he could fix the rift that was caused by Thor's callous words, or tell him that what he feared had finally found its way into your reality. Tell him that there was nothing he could do to mend the damage and that things were truly over between you.

"As you wish, little mortal."

You led him through a search that was guised as an inebriated tour through your alma mater, going through each building with information that you'd either gathered there from firsthand experience from your college years, or from information you amassed looking through testimonials of various alumni.

"Ooh! Come on, I wanna show you something that might just make you proud." You made an entire performance of stumbling toward the god and reaching for his hand, guiding him with carefully choreographed steps backwards with a few planned near slip-ups where you seemed to trip on air and almost fall bum first onto the floor before catching yourself at the last second.

"Don't you know well enough by now, darling, that you constantly impress me?" he shot back at you with a chuckle, fighting every urge to lose himself in the ruse you were both putting on. He wanted more than anything to have this be akin to those films that your fellow teammates were so fond of watching, where the couple would find an empty classroom and proceed to kiss and paw at each other like animals in heat.

He'd found those scenarios so trite before, but he found himself admitting that he was more than open to the idea if the opportunity presented itself with you. He would be willing to do just about anything with you at his side.

"Come on, Mischief," you sing-songed, giggling your way to the heart of one of the buildings dedicated for the science-centric curriculum. "I'm taking to to the lab where we used to brew our own beer. Mix our own booze. You're gonna love it, it's like we were witches brewing potions in here--"

You play-acted your way to stumbling through the double doors of the laboratory, only to be met with resistance and the visual of a thick chain wrapped around the door handles. Immediately you righted your stance, the god signaling to you that he'd taken care of the security cameras. He'd chosen to feed them footage of the two of you indulging in one of those slightly risqué scenarios in the corridor.

With a wave of his hand, the chains materialized on the floor by Loki's feet, and you pushed the doors open to reveal exactly what you'd been looking for. The tables were littered with documents and notes that were watermarked with HYDRA's sigil, each designated work station housing its own compound that when put in the wrong hands, could be utilized in the most sadistic manners.

You went on to look into the filing cabinets that held more research reports while he rounded the table that held the compound surrounded by the most amount of notes scribbled on to the logo-branded papers. He felt the bile rising steadily up his throat at the findings.

Subjects that are exposed to this compound even in its aerated form will feel an intense emotional attachment to the closest set of pheromones within their vicinity, enslaving them to the holder for an indeterminate amount of time. Potency strengthens if the compound is ingested. Theoretically catastrophic potency if somehow introduced directly into subject's bloodstream. Effects inconclusive if holder severs the emotional attachment before the compound has had a chance to be flushed from subject's system, but theoretically, the more potent the remaining dosage that is yet to be metabolized, the more catastrophic the aftermath.

"Darling, they might be experimenting on these students," Loki said grimly, rushing over to you the moment he spotted how much paler your knuckles became from how hard you were gripping the countertop. "What's wrong?"

"There are reports dating back to before you even got to Earth," you told him, the shakiness of your tone at its worst as you tried to speak through the tears bubbling up inside you. "Back to when I was still here."

He thumbed through the report that you were perusing and had to fight every urge to set fire to the entire operation and lay waste to the names that he'd found on the user tests. The most frequent one being the man that he had the displeasure of meeting earlier, Simon Richardson. "These other names, were they your other professors?" You only nodded. He didn't know whether to be relieved or even more horrified realizing that the subject names were kept confidential, hidden under monikers such as "Subject 12-29-A", "Subject 12-29-B" and so forth.

"I think the first number's the year. 12 is 2012. And the second number might be a batch number." You took a few deep breaths before straightening your stance and looking for the nearest computer, fiddling with the comms bracelet that Shuri had equipped you with before you left New York. "Shuri, are you there?"

"I am here, I am here. How is the college party? I have never actually been to one since--"

"Since you're so smart you should probably be teaching these classes, I know I know." A bit of your liveliness came back speaking with the young genius. Loki could even hear a slight smile in your voice. "Could you pull off a remote duplication? I wanna get these experimentation reports to you guys so that we can already start on next moves before Laufeyson and I even get back to New York."

"Does the sun rise in the East, my friend?" The Wakandan princess began to laugh from her end of the call, the sound filling the room. "Put your bracelet near the device and let me do my magic." You did as she instructed, holding your wrist near the computer's power source and a few short moments later, she spoke again. "All done. We will see you when you get back."

"Thanks, Shuri. We'll wrap it up here. I'll see you guys in the morning."

As you shut off your comms and both of you proceeded to place things back exactly where you found them, ensuring that you lessened your chances of HYDRA suspecting anyone had rifled through their research, there was yet another thought that led to a pit forming in Loki's stomach.

What if one of the test subjects in those reports was you?

Loki laid awake, restless, in bed since you both got back to your suite, doing his best to somehow induce slumber upon himself so that he wouldn't have to fight against his mind wandering back to those reports, wondering if one of the subjects that was detailed within those pages could be referring to you. As well as fighting against the parts of him that feared you were pushing him away, forcing his hand into letting you go even if that was the last thing he would ever wish to do.

He had to make a note to give that oaf Thor a swift stab for so thoroughly jeopardizing what could have possibly been the best thing to happen to him. He was more than content with you, he was happy. He could picture what a future with you would be like.

And yes, it would be nice if your relationship would have a physical aspect to it, but that was no dealbreaker for the god. He didn't need it right this second, and for you, he would wait until you reached that level of comfort with him. At your own pace.

He would wait. Even if it meant he waited forever.

Yet here you both were now, sleeping in separate beds in separate rooms all because you believed that he would be better off with someone who had no compunctions on disrobing with him at a moment's notice. He could already feel you slipping away despite how desperately he tried to hold on to you.

The sound of your unrest had him sitting up on his bed, a series of whimpers and cries being heard from your bedroom. What got him darting out and bursting through your door, however, was your scream of "Please no I've been good to you! Why would you do this to me?!"

In a heartbeat he was by your side, cradling you against his chest and trying to wake you from your nightmare. "Shh shh, little mortal, you're safe, please wake up."

"I never told a soul I don't even look at you when there's other people please don't leave me," you kept whimpering, your words hitting the god like bullets straight to his heart. Were you having a nightmare about him?

"I'm here, my love, please. I'm not going anywhere just please wake up," he pleaded desperately, rubbing his hand up and down your back as he pressed multiple kisses to your templed. "I'm here I'll never leave you. Please darling, I love you."

You finally began to breathe a bit slower in his arms, moving so that you were looking up at him with red-rimmed eyes. "Loki?"

Had he been on his feet, the sight of you so distraught would have brought the god to his knees. "Oh my sweet mortal." He cupped your face, wiping your tears away before he pressed a kiss between your brows. He wordlessly maneuvered you into his arms so that he could carry you out of bed and into the kitchen area, fetching you a glass of water.

"I can't--" You sounded as if you were trying to speak through a lump in your throat, more tears falling from your eyes. "I can't talk about--"

"No, darling, it's alright." He placed his hands on your shoulders, trying to guide you into evening out your breaths. "You don't need to tell me anything you're not ready to."

"I want to," you insisted, keeping your eyes glued to the floor, refusing to meet his gaze. "I just--I can't bring myself to say the words, but I need you to know…why. Why I can't--" You cut off with a squeak, gripping the sides of your stool so tightly he feared the metal would start hurting you, so he took them into his hands instead. "Why I can't be with you…physically."

"Darling, please I've told you I don't need--"

"No, you should know. I…I need you to know. I just can't…articulate the words." You started breathing the same way that you would when you would run with the rest of the team, as if your body was compensating for lack of oxygen the best it could. Or as if you were preparing yourself for something particularly uncomfortable. "But I can show you."

"Y/N what are you--"

"I want you to look into my memories. I want you to see. And understand what I can't tell you with words."

He framed your face with his hands, urging you to look at him before he followed through with your request. "Are you absolutely certain, my love?" You just stared at him with your red-rimmed tear-stricken eyes, the surrender and pain in them breaking his heart more than your stoic monotonous attitude from the past weeks ever could. He pressed another kiss to your forehead. "Alright."

He pulled up a seat close to yours, bracing himself for what he would find once he entered your memories. He was terrifyingly right to have done so, because the moment he was hit with the torrents of memories, he would have been brought to his knees had he been upright.

You're such a bright young lady. Such a shame that your peers refuse to see that. How about we grab a cup of coffee? Enjoy it in the faculty area? It'll be way more comfortable than sitting on the floor for the next three hours.

I was supposed to have dinner with some of the other professors but the weather in their area has them stuck at home. Would you like to join me instead? It'd be a shame for the reservation to go to waste.

Loki had to fight back the urge to retch as the visual of Simon Richardson leaning in to kiss you hit him next. And the distant attitude that he extended to you the following day on campus as you crossed paths in the hallway.

It won't be wise for us to be seen together or else people are going to start suspecting something going on. I'll get into trouble, just because we love each other. Of course I love you, silly sweet thing, you're the only one I've ever felt this way for.

He saw multiple occurrences of the professor dropping your hand the second someone even unfamiliar to either of you rounded the corner, a guilt eating away at him as he realized he'd done the same thing with you. He simply didn't want you to have to be exposed to the judgment from the team for being involved with him.

Nobody can know. It has to be our little secret. You understand, don't you? How about we go away somewhere for the weekend? Just you and me? Somewhere where we can actually be a couple. Do couple things. We could walk around and hold hands without being scared of getting caught. I could kiss you whenever and wherever. We could just be…us.

Loki wanted more than anything to look away from the memories of your first night with Richardson. From the way that he was so careless with your body, so ignorant of your pleasure and yet he mumbled empty sentiments of love all throughout the night, insisting that he loved you despite his eyes staying empty. Calculating.

And just a few short weeks after that, and a few more nights spent at his place, you went to campus one morning. And he'd begun to go out for coffee with another student. Someone from the batch of freshmen that had just come in. Your messages went unanswered, your calls were met with the generic voice message prompt.

He discarded you once he had what he desired from you, and foolishly concluded that he could do better.

As if there was anyone better.

When he opened his eyes, his vision was blurred from his own tears, the guilt steadily wearing him down as your explanation hit him as if they were bricks being catapulted his way. Was this the reason you were so hesitant to share his bed? You were afraid that once he claimed your body, he would replace you with another?

Your words from two weeks ago haunted him. If you want to be with someone else, just promise me you'll tell me and leave me first.

"My love," he choked, pulling you into a tight embrace. "I could never do something so vile. Not to you. Never to you. I'm so sorry."

"It's fine," you answered weakly, your sniffles breaking him even more. "You didn't know." You made a motion to move out of his arms, the fear seeping into him again that you were going to completely pull away again, making him hold on to your hands tightly. Desperately. "Come on, we have to get some sleep. We're going back to New York in the morning."

"Do you wish to be alone?" He could barely form the words, desperately pleading silently for you to allow him to stay with you tonight.

"No," you confessed, shifting nervously where you stood. "But I don't want you to feel obligated because of what you saw--"

"I won't leave you." The words came out of him in a rush, his lips quivering as he pressed a kiss to your forehead again, trying to calm himself. Trying his best not to march his way back to campus and personally see to it that that wretched excuse of a man not only paid for what he'd done to you, but ensure that he would never do this to another innocent unsuspecting woman ever again.

Trying to remind himself that his need to ensure that you were alright at this moment was greater than his desire to have Simon Richardson's head on a spike.

"You say that now, but we know that one day you're going to be tired of waiting. You have needs--"

"I need you more. I want you more," he insisted, burying his nose in your hair, your presence keeping him grounded. "I promised you I would spend my days proving my devotion to you. I more than intend to keep this promise. I am yours, precious little mortal." He kissed a path to your ear. "All I want at this moment is to stay with you tonight. Let me hold you. Let me try to fight your night terrors away."

It was as if a weight was lifted off his chest when you wordlessly nodded, wrapping your arms around his neck and letting him carry you back to your bedroom.

Loki held you through the night, relieved that you didn't stir in his arms or show any sign that you might have fallen into another nightmare. However, the god was now haunted by a memory of his own. One from the first few days of your relationship.

Darling, I think it best that perhaps…we don't tell the others quite yet that we've become involved. Grant ourselves the privacy that they won't.

His own words echoed in his mind, taunting him of the monumental mistake he'd made asking you to agree to such selfish terms. How he enforced that agreement by committing actions that eerily echoed the very memories that haunted you now.

He remembered the look in your eyes when he uttered those words, asking you to aid him in hiding your relationship away from the rest of the team. When he closed his eyes he could see the crestfallen expression on your face so vividly, making him despise himself for ever causing you to mar your features with that pain you tried to hide from him.

And finally…the realization that gutted him. You never agreed to those terms. All you said in response was "That makes sense".

You simply surrendered.

"I'm so sorry, my darling mortal," he spoke into the darkness, holding you just a fraction tighter, fearing that if he let go even in the slightest, you might slip away from him. "I'll make things better. I will do right by you, I swear it."

A/N: Lemme just…slide a dagger Loki's way real quick. 😤😤

And lemme offer this as my apology for this chapter…

I can promise u that Simon will get what's coming to him in the final part of this story. And I can promise that Loki will in fact make things right with his bb 🥺🥺

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