#Let’s have the best songs in the movie and still lose???
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scary-grace · 3 days ago
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Shigaraki x Reader masterlist
Here's my attempt at collecting all my Shigaraki fics in one post! We'll see how it goes.
One-shots
the crying game - You gave up on love a long time ago, but you keep getting invited to weddings, and after eleven receptions spent at the single's table, you're almost at the end of your rope -- until first-time wedding guest Shigaraki Tomura asks you to show him how it's done. (rated T, Tumblr exclusive.)
magnum opus - you're a crime scene photographer, and serial killer Shigaraki likes your photos a little too much. (rated M, available on Tumblr + Ao3)
d-o-l-l-h-o-u-s-e - spooky AU based on the movie The Boy. (rated M, available on Tumblr + Ao3)
Best Practice - Taking the night shift at a 24-7 emergency vet hospital isn't for the faint of heart, and you've seen a lot of crazy things. But on one particular shift, it's Tenko Shimura and his service dog who make the biggest impression on you.(rated T, Tumblr exclusive.)
camera shy - You're a villain who likes catching heroes in compromising positions, and when you can't do that, you put them there yourself. It's not until you capture Tenko Shimura that you lose the upper hand. (rated T, Tumblr exclusive.)
Somewhere in the Crowd - Tomura tells himself he's content with singing backup in the band he founded, and most of the time he is. But when he takes a song request from you during the biggest concert the League of Villains has ever played, he realizes that there might be a few advantages to claiming the spotlight. (rated T, Tumblr exclusive)
taking care of boyfriend!Shigaraki when he's sick (rated T, Tumblr exclusive)
hands-off, hands-on - Shigaraki's quirk makes life difficult in a lot of ways, but there's only one he can't find a way around, and since you joined the League of Villains, it's gotten even worse. When the truth comes out at last, he's expecting it to be a disaster and nothing else. He definitely isn't expecting you to offer to help. (rated E, available on Tumblr + Ao3)
Radio Silence - For the last year, your best friend has been somebody you've never met. When Tenko suddenly stops answering your messages, you don't know what to do. (rated T, Tumblr exclusive)
Tam Lin - When a child from your settlement goes missing, you go willingly into the woods to rescue him from the entity that dwells there. You're not at all prepared for what you find. (Based on the tale of Tam Lin. 7.1k words, afab reader, rated M with warnings for dubcon + smut. Tumblr exclusive)
you and Shigaraki try to survive your zombie-infested high school (rated M, soon to be expanded, currently Tumblr-exclusive.)
watching a scary movie with Shigaraki (rated T, Tumblr-exclusive.)
Multi-parts/Series
the new postmodern age - Before the war, you were nothing but a common criminal, but in the world that's arisen from the ashes, you got a second chance. Five years after the final battle between the heroes and the League of Villains, you run a coffee shop in a quiet seaside town, and you're devoted to keeping your customers happy. Even customers like Shimura Tenko, who needs a second chance even more than you did -- and who's harboring a secret that could upend everything you've tried to build. Will you let the past drag both of you down? Or will you find a way, against all odds, to a new beginning? (rated M, complete, available on Tumblr + Ao3)
blind date i + ii - After endless failed attempts to help Tomura up his game, his friends have settled on their last resort: A blind date. Even before you show up, it's not going well. No quirks AU, female reader. (rated T (for now), Tumblr exclusive)
needle, compass, north: part 1
Longfics
Expiation - Even after slaying the High Kingdom's greatest enemy and sparing its people from a terrible fate, Shigaraki Tomura's past crimes make him an outcast in the castle. Still, someone has to attend to him, and that someone is you -- and unlike the maids who came before you, you're not afraid to ask a question. (rated T, ongoing, available on Tumblr + Ao3)
Enough to Go By - Your best friend vanished on the same night his family was murdered, and even though the world forgot about him, you never did. When a chance encounter brings you back into contact with Shimura Tenko, you'll do anything to make sure you don't lose him again. Keep his secrets? Sure. Aid the League of Villains? Of course. Sacrifice everything? You would - but as the battle between the League of Villains and hero society unfolds, it becomes clear that everything is far more than you or anyone else imagined it would be. (rated M, ongoing, available on Tumblr + Ao3)
Off-Script - Tomura's been Dabi's stunt double for almost a decade, and he's not easily impressed, but when he squares up with you for a fight scene, he finds himself caught off-guard in more ways than one. As the shoot progresses and sparks fly between the two of you, Tomura has to decide if you're worth the risk -- or if the best sparring partner he's ever had is all you'll ever be. (rated T, ongoing, available on Tumblr + Ao3)
Opposites Attract - Your quirk lets you capture almost anyone with ease, and you can't believe you let Shigaraki Tomura escape. Shigaraki can't believe it, either, and according to the League, there's only one possible explanation -- you let him go because you've fallen in love with him. He decides to find out if it's true. You decide you won't fail to capture him again. You both get a lot more than you bargained for. (rated T, ongoing, available on Tumblr + Ao3)
Skin Hunger - There's no such thing as a good night at work when you work in the world's most infamous brothel for monsters, but your night takes a turn for the worse when you find yourself serving drinks to visiting half-vampire Shigaraki Tomura. You don't mean to catch his interest, and you don't mean to start a conversation. You definitely don't mean to get him drunk. (rated M, ongoing, available on Tumblr + Ao3)
Haunting for Beginners - Ghosts summoned and bound to the human world have one purpose - haunting - but Tomura's never met a human he could stand long enough to haunt them, and he's pretty sure he never will. When you cross the threshold of his house, you capture his interest, and for the first time, he finds himself with a chance to do what ghosts are meant to do. It's too bad he doesn't know how. Scenes from Love Like Ghosts, through the eyes of the ghost in question. (rated M, ongoing, available on Tumblr + Ao3)
Love Like Ghosts - You knew the empty house in a quiet neighborhood was too good to be true, but you were so desperate to get out of your tiny apartment that you didn't care, and now you find yourself sharing space with something inhuman and immensely powerful. As you struggle to coexist with a ghost whose intentions you're unsure of, you find yourself drawn unwillingly into the upside-down world of spirits and conjurers, and becoming part of a neighborhood whose existence depends on your house staying exactly as it is, forever. But ghosts can change, just like people can. And as your feelings and your ghost's become more complex and intertwined, everything else begins to crumble. (rated M, complete, available on Tumblr + Ao3)
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that-art-cat · 3 months ago
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✨The Dazzlings✨
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dxxdhood · 3 months ago
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Okayyyyyy your sub!Wade Wilson fic literally destroyed me and I need like a million more consider yourself my new dealer
(If reqs are open can I get uhhhhh Wade Wilson where he's needy but has no idea what he wants so reader has to shut his brain off and figure it out for him pls and thanks)
hi anon, i love this idea so much omg! i may have played around with it a bit but i think i still kept the same core idea. i went with fem! reader on this, but if you want a similar request with gn! or male! reader, let me know! pls enjoy!!!
rough night
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pairing: wade wilson x fem!reader
summary: wade needs your love and attention, and luckily, you're always there to help him out.
tags: smut (18+), sub!wade wilson, dom!reader, dirty talk, praise kink, light bondage, grinding, clothed sex, oral (f receiving), exhibitionism, car sex
wc: 2.0k
“Okay, babe, hear me out: the ending to the stage version of Little Shop is leagues better than whatever deus ex machina crap they had to throw into the last two minutes of the movie. Cowardly movie-goer audiences can not handle true stage-level tragedy–”
“Wade!” You shout, nearly swerving the car as you double check the directions. Past midnight on the freeway after a long day, you barely had the concentration to drive in silence– much less in a car with your partner in it. “Can you help me get us home first before we start arguing over musical movies again. Please?”
Wade hums, tapping his scarred hand against the console, “That’s a big ask, I’m not so sure I can, to tell you the truth. You wanna talk about musical movies? Can we talk about how big The Greatest Showman got when the score is nothing but pop songs? Look, I get the lead actor looks like my crazy-hot new best friend, but the 2010s had way better stuff coming out.”
Turning his head so you could see the shit-eating grin plastered on his face, he whistles a note before speaking. “You missed our exit, by the way.”
“What?” You double check the GPS to make sure he’s not lying. Sure enough, he’s right. “Why didn’t you warn me?”
“Oh, you know. Typical Deadpool, just pissing off everyone around him all the time for no reason,” he chimes in again, and something about his tone sets you off. You speed across the next available ramp, and after the few seconds it takes for you to end up on a deserted road, you stop the car.
Taking a deep inhale, you make sure to hit the inside light so he can see you properly, and you grab the arm still fidgeting next to you. “Wade, what’s up with you?”
His eyes go large, and his expression loses all the mischief immediately. Shaking his head a little, he purses his lips. “Nothing. Nothing’s up.”
“Let’s just get home,” he says after an empty moment, almost like he’s booting up again. “You can yell at me the entire way back, okay? I was being a pain in the ass. I’ll take it lying down, promise.”
Seeing him in the dim, yellow lighting, he’s trying to retreat into his hoodie. He’s pulling away from you even as he speaks, and it makes your stomach turn.
“Let’s–” you start, unbuckling your seatbelt before gripping the door handle.  “Let’s just take a second first.”
You catch a wash of confusion on his face, but you exit the car and walk over to his side before he voices his thoughts out loud. Opening his door, you quickly envelope him in a hug before he can try to pull away again.
You swear you heard a whimper, but it was so quiet, you nearly missed it. Almost instantly, Wade buries his head in your neck, and his arms wrap around your middle tight. 
The two of you stay there, alone, with the gentle sound of crickets chirping in the background for what feels like a small eternity. You know it must have only been a few minutes, because shortly, your thighs burn from the angle you’re bending at, so you gently pull away. You decide not to mention the wetness left on your shirt.
“What do you need?” You ask.
He shakes his head again, but faster this time. “I don’t know. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I don’t even know why I was trying to piss you off.”
“Today was fine, right? I thought so, but all of sudden everything felt like it was going to shit. In my head, I just started going around in circles, going over all the little ways I kept fucking up, and – I don’t know – it got to me.” Wade brings a palm to his forehead. “It’s just one of those hate-yourself days, I guess.” 
You nod, taking one of his hands in yours as you stand on the dying grass surrounding the road. Rubbing his palm with your thumb, trying to transfer some of your warmth to him, you’re suddenly met with an idea so good, you can keep inside the chuckle. 
“Sorry, sorry!” You choke. “Not laughing at you, I just– I just think it’s funny where my brain goes.”
“What do you mean?” He looks up at you with pupils so big, you just want to go back to squeezing him. 
“Well, we’re all alone out here.”
You can almost see the loading screen in Wade’s mind when he breaks out in a laugh. “No way, I finally found someone worse than me.”
“Would you want to?”
He’s nodding before he can even process, but after a second a frown sets in. “You know I’m always down to clown around, but I’d just be a burden right now. I’m all sad and icky and touchy-feely. I don’t even know what I–”
“You want me to handle it?” you interrupt. “I’ll just do stuff we’ve liked doing in the past. You don’t have to worry about a thing, I’ll make it all good for you.”
Wade turns his head away, and for a terrifying moment, you believe you’ve made him uncomfortable. But a part of him wins whatever fight is going on eternally, and when he faces you again, a blush coats his cheeks.“You’d do that?”
“You think I’m offering ‘cause I like hearing myself talk?”
“You have the sweetest voice I’ve ever heard,” he smiles, and not having learned anything, you bend down again to kiss him. He responds fast, bringing a hand up to cup your cheek as he pulls you in closer. No matter how much of you he gets, he always finds himself needing more.
You push his hood down and you carefully run your hands across his scalp, cradling his head, as you deepen the kiss. Licking inside his mouth, you feel more than hear a rumble build in his chest.
Breaking away, you pull your sweater off before laying it on the ground in front of the passenger seat. Stepping to the side, you give Wade a second to process before you order him.
“Kneel.”
He definitely mumbles a soft “holy shit” as he slips out of the car and drops to his knees. Briefly, you run your hands across his shoulders, kneading at the intersection between his shoulders and neck, feeling the tense muscle there. Typical Wade to cause problems instead of talking about his own. Just how long was he carrying around all of this tension? Maybe when you’re both home later, at what will probably be the crack of dawn, you can run him a warm bath or give him a better massage.
For right now, you slip past him and sit in the car seat above him. Angled so your legs dangle out the car door opening, you place a hand around the back of Wade’s neck and urge him closer.
“You ready?” You whisper. “You want to eat me out, Wade?”
He buries his head into your thigh at your words as he lets out a groan, “Yes, please, oh my god.”
Grabbing both of your legs, he lifts them onto his shoulder and he already starts to move his head closer in between them.
“Hold on,” you grab one of his hands, interlocking your fingers. “Here, help me move one of my legs off your shoulder and against your dick.”
To his credit, he does, even as he shivers at your words. As he scooches around, trying to get comfortable or maybe just hungry for more sensation already, you feel his cock half hard.
“You’ve been wanting this, huh? Wanting me to boss you around a little,” you whisper, inching your head closer to his so you can whisper in his ear. “Wanting to hear dirty things in my voice?”
“Yes!’ he shouts. “Yes, please! Can I eat you out, babe? I’ll be good!”
“”Course you will be,” you smile. “You’re always so good for me.”
With a little maneuvering around your legs, you manage to slip your shorts and underwear off, accidentally tossing them into the darkness.
Wade frowns, his brow creasing, “No, I haven’t been very good lately–”
On command, you grab his chin and tilt it so his gaze rests on yours. There’s no hiding from your words now. “Don’t say that. Stop talking.”
“You don’t feel good?” you smirk. “Then prove to me right now how good you can really be.”
He needs no further encouragement as he buries his face between your thighs, already licking across you, teasing you even now. His pace is quick, desperate, but he’s still careful to avoid where you need him most.
With one hand perched at the top of his head, you scratch the other down his neck as a warning, but all it does is draw a moan from him. You can feel the vibrations through you, and it causes you to grind across his mouth.
Panting heavily, you decide to even the score. You press your calf up against his hard cock, inching it backwards and forwards, bit by bit, and that’s all it takes for Wade to remember his own needs. Wanting  you already, he slowly grinds against your leg, and though it feels harsh through his pants, from past experience as well as the wet groans filling the air, you’re sure Wade enjoys it.
Suddenly, he decides to circle your clit in earnest, and it draws a loud moan from you. You begin to grind yourself against his tongue, still somehow working you with coordinated movements despite how out-of-control he humps your leg.
His whimpers slip out of him, as if he’s been completely fucked dumb just by getting off on your leg. The power is heady, and you move your hands to his, wrapping them around his wrists and bringing them in front of him to settle right in front of his stomach. Once you’re sure you’ve got a secure grasp, you bring one of your hands away to tilt his face up to yours so you can kiss him again.
You taste yourself warm on his lips, and the thought causes even more heat to pool at your core. All too soon, you pull away from him and shove his head back between your thighs. 
“Fuck, Wade, so good. You’re so good for me.”
He’s whimpering right into your core and involuntarily, the hand restraining his wrists clenches. The harshness only turns him on further, and he continues rubbing himself along your leg so quick, you’re sure it must be starting to sting.
“Yeah? You like fucking my leg, Wade? I love seeing you grind on me, sweetheart, you’re so pretty.”
His pace increases, and he starts letting out frequent moans in between the warm breaths he exhales onto you. Your thighs are shaking – his speed for you has never faltered – and you shove his face towards you with the palm against his head.
“I’m gonna come. You wanna be my good boy and come with me, huh?”
At that, he releases a loud groan into your pussy, and you feel yourself coming, dripping onto his already soaked face. At your wetness, his grinding only increases, and after only a few more seconds, Wade finishes, cum seeping from his pants onto your leg. 
The two of you stay silent with only your breaths slowly returning to normal to fill the air. Wade’s eyes are large, gazing at you like you’re all he could ever want, and it’s almost too overwhelming for you to return.
Shakily, he pushes off the ground and makes it to his feet before he stumbles to the side. On instinct, you jump from the seat outside to catch him, your arms wrapped around his waist. You’re still afraid that he’ll fall, but Wade lets out a light giggle.
“If you couldn’t drive us home before, I’ve got no clue how we’re making it back now.”
You lightly slap his arm, “You could be nicer to me after I made you come, bitch.”
He lets out a groan that would sound exaggerated if it came from anyone else, “Shit, call me that next time!”
“Next time I wreck you in the middle of nowhere?” you smirk.
“Just name a time and place.”
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murdrdocs · 1 year ago
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just read all your imagines and they are so good!! just on here to req anything hobie brown related cos god that man is so fine. maybe like a one-shot where they are fwb cos hobie doest do labels but gets jealous and then asks reader to be his gf and then shows her off to everyone. just like really anything u want to write tbh ✨✨
end of line | h. brown
description. being friends with benefits with your best friend, hobie brown, is fun and all, but you start to realize that maybe firm labels suit you better than whatever this is
includes. slight smut SUGGESTIVE 16+, fem!reader referred to as “girl”, fluff, sweet!hobie, pav gwen and miles mention, rockstar!hobie
a/n: i have no words this was supposed to be uploaded like a week ago but then i went to disney so ... sorry yall. also not edited well bc ... disney. edit: title from the song by daft punk bc tron <3
word count: 1.7k+
things are still in your bedroom. they always are right before he arrives.
you're not a psychic, nor do you have a "spider-sense" (which, with the creepy-sixth sense way hobie described it, you don't want one either), but you like to think that you can tell when he'll come by.
nights when you haven't heard much from him, but the sirens seemed to never stop outside, were usually when your window would creek as it slid up.
you listen out for the sound now as you finish painting your last nail. you'd used the quick dry polish tonight, in hopes that you wouldn't have a repeat of last time, when your fingernails weren't dried but hobie was incredibly impatient and when you were done, you'd realized that your right ring and pinkie fingers were smudged.
the bottle's closed, you'd blown on your nail to ensure it dried, and that's when your window slides open.
there's no point in looking back at him when he tumbles into the room. he starts mumbling complaints as soon as the window's closed, the sound of his shoes unlacing padding his words, something about some common thief who hobie was going to let go but then he went and messed with the lady on the street and her cat.
you'd lost the tail end of his words whenever he started walking closer to you. you sat up straighter, pushed everything out of the way, and waited for him to turn your chair around.
which, when he did, you looked up at him, small smile on your lips as you stared into his deep brown eyes.
"how's your night, hm?" he asked, a courtesy before getting to the real action.
you shrugged, pretending to think. "nothing. just a lot of this."
"no smashing societal standards? picking off misogynists one by one?"
a small laugh in the form of a snort from you. "nah. figured i'd take a day off, you know?" the sarcasm dripping from your words. that's not who you were. you wish you could've been like that, could've been like hobie. but there's one spider-person for a reason.
"oh, yeah, uh-huh..." and hobie trailed off as he leaned in, pointer finger hooking under your chin to pull your lips to his.
it always felt good to kiss hobie.
you'd fantasized about it for weeks before it actually happened. he's your closest friend at the moment, and he occupied the title before this arrangement even existed. and of course you had the worry about ruining your beautiful friendship if you became more, fear that you wouldn't be able to go back and you would subsequently lose probably the best friend you've ever had.
but that was no need to worry. because while you could let hobie pull you up and lead you to your bed, sitting back and pulling you into his lap while he kissed you with a tenderness you know so well, you could also just be friends with him, sitting side by side on the couch and having a movie marathon of horrible biopics without thinking about jumping each other's bones.
there's a balance here that you could only hope would've existed.
and it's never thrown off. not even when he pulls your shirt over your head and his full lips find your nipples and the slightly-faded marks he'd left a few days ago. not even when he switches your position, laying you back and kissing down your torso until he can bury his head between your legs. not even when you whine and cry just a bit, slightly begging for him to pull his suit off so he can fuck into you in a way that only he can.
you try not to think about the equilibrium of your relationship with hobie when your legs hook around his waist and the heels of your feet dig into your lower back. you try to solely focus on the way his cock fills you up perfectly, mostly long with the right amount of girth for your walls, tip reaching deep within you in an almost mind bending way.
but you can't help but think about the way hobie doesn't do labels when he helps you to your bathroom, where he lets the shower heat up while you sit in a shirt he left behind a few days ago when he'd shown up as just hobie brown and not spiderman. you can't help but think about being hobie's girlfriend when his big, veiny hands run along your skin after the shower, smothering you in shea butter as you struggle to hold your eyes open. and you don't bother attempting to fight off the lasting thought of being hobie's while he hums an unknown song to himself with your head on his chest, the deep sound of his voice and the vibration of his chest lulling you to sleep.
you need to be someone's.
the friends with benefits scenario was fun, it worked, it was glorious, but you don't think it's for you. and labels aren't for hobie.
so, you look elsewhere.
you're at hobie's show, standing in the back of the pub with a drink you weren't interested in, with some guy you really weren't all that interested in, either. but he smelled nice, and he seemed nice, and you were just looking to broaden your horizons just a bit.
you and hobie weren't exclusive, but maybe it's a little wrong to flirt with someone else at his show. but you were slightly upset, and craving attention, so it didn't matter.
not until hobie got off stage.
it took a while for him to roam over to you, but even then you were still entertaining the other guy. giggling, tilting your head, batting your eyelashes, your hip popped out and a manicure, that was still fresh, blinging as your hand rested on the bone.
he greets you with a term of endearment that he uses often, but it feels different in this circumstance. you tell yourself that it feels different because you want it to feel different.
"oi, babe! who's this bloke?"
his arm slings over your shoulder and you tense under it. your hands folding over your chest, your smile tightening a little.
“uh this is steven.” your hand reaches out to point to the man, a tight lipped smile spreading onto his lips.
“steven …” hobie repeats the name slowly, and without looking at him you can tell that he’s eyeing the guy up and down.
the air is stiff, the three of you are silent, and unfortunately, steven takes the hint to dismiss himself, and you instantly turn to hobie, a scowl on your face.
“what the fuck, hobes?” you’re pissed, but the nickname still slips off easily.
hobie shrugs and reaches into his back pocket, a cigarette appearing and he sticks it between his lips. instantly, your fingers pluck it out from his mouth, instead putting it in your own back pocket.
instead of looking upset, hobie looks amused. his hands reach out to grab your waist, and you want to give in, but you try to push his hands away instead.
hobie lets you, and you don’t know if your happy or upset with that.
“what’d you mean?”
you stare at him, deadpan, then gesture to where steven had walked away towards.
“you just cockblocked me!”
a cocky grin, almost a little condescending. “i didn’t ‘cockblock’ you, babes. you weren’t trying to get with that guy.” your eyebrow lifts and you can see realization come onto hobie’s face. “oh … you were?”
“yes! of course i was!”
“but why? you are i are together.”
“sure, hobes, but we’re not ‘together’.”
“yes we are.”
“no, we aren’t.”
“why do you think that?”
you suddenly feel a little insecure, eyes scanning the thinning crowd, ears noticing the way the volume in the pub is lowered. “because you’ve never put a label on it, bee.”
another layer of realization. hobie’s hands coming to your waist again, but this time you let him pull you in.
“i didn’t know we needed a label. but you’re my girl. and i’m your guy.”
your body heats up and you bite down onto your lower lip giddily, peeking up at hobie through your lashes.
"thought you didn't like relationships?"
"labels. i don't like labels."
there's a disruption in the atmosphere. goosebumps raise on your skin, the hair on the back of your neck sticks up, and even if you weren't aware internally, the way the magazine you were previously reading floats above the table would've tipped you off.
the portal opens shortly after, but you knew it was coming. it took hobie a while to tell you that he was spiderman, longer to convince you that he was spiderman, and a while longer to convince you of the existence society, and even though you know, you still get a little shocked whenever a portal opens.
he comes through first, thud of his heavy boots against the floor of his flat. the spoon in your mouth clings against the side of the bowl, your free hand reaches out to the tv remote to pause the episode as you look over at hobie.
"oi, didn't know you were still here." is all he says before he's walking over, pulling his mask off on the way, and leaning down. your head tilts up instantly to meet his lips in a kiss, your body warming with the way his hand pushes into the back of the couch, slender but muscular form caging you in.
you expect him to sit beside you and force you to give a recap of the episode, but he stands back, and then three other people come through the portal.
"oh ... are we expecting guests?" surprise sits in your words, the tone amplified when hobie takes your bowl of cereal out of your hands to finish it off himself.
"right," he speaks through mouthfuls, saying your name as an introduction to the other three. "this is pav, miles, and gwendy. spider people." you nod, waving at each.
"this here, is my girlfriend." three sets of spider-eyes widen with the admission and you can already sense what's coming.
"wow, you're pretty. 's nice to meet you."
"i knew it! i could sense the tension as soon as we got here."
"you have a girlfriend? wait. i thought you didn't like labels."
a small smile on your face as you tuck your hands in the pocket of hobie’s sweatshirt that you wear.
in coordination learned from how close you two are, you speak at the same time.
"he doesn't like consistency."
"don't like consistency, mate."
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slut4sugu · 1 year ago
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𝐒𝐇𝐄 𝐋𝐎𝐎𝐊𝐒 𝐉𝐔𝐒𝐓 𝐋𝐈𝐊𝐄 𝐀 𝐃𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐌— RODRICK HEFFLEY X BLACK!READER
ʚ 🍓ɞ including + warnings: rodrick being a nervous boyfriend, black!reader, toothrotting fluff, suggestive themes ʚ 🍓ɞ summary: what it’s like dating Rodrick heffley <3
next in the Rodrick series .
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ʚ 🍓ɞ FIRST WEEKS DATING
HELLA SHYYY, despite putting up a ridiculous cool persona when it comes to being around you and your sweet smile all by himself he crumbles
Is scared to indulge in pda or physical intact with you because he’s afraid of coming off as clingy, but once you sit him down and let him know that you’re just as clingy if not more than he is, he starts to loosen up a little
constantly falls asleep with his head in your shoulder whenever around you and he gets tired
Starts looking out for you first in a crowd and gets visibly upset when he can’t reach you
Walks you to and from class no matter if he misses the bell or if your class is on the opposite side of the school. He values every minute he has with you <33
Thinks about giving you goodbye kisses all the time and almost did it once but chickened out and you thought it was adorable
Sends you hella couple TikTok’s late at night
Loves when you squeeze him when you hug, it makes his heart race
Adores all your protective styles but after you sent him a picture of your hair after wash day he was inlove
Damn near fainted when you called him baby on FaceTime late at night
It was 10pm and you were listening to Rodrick recount his day of tormenting Gregory as usual, you were growing sleepy as you listened to his voice lull you to sleep. “He’s such a little shrimp I swear- are you getting tired?” You shook your head no and said, “I’m still up baby.” You giggled as you saw your boyfriends face grow flushed, “You okay? Babyy?” You always got a kick out of seeing Rodrick lose his cool and this moment was just too precious, “Mhm! Y-yeah I’m great, totally fine.”
When he saw you the next day he was determined to make you just as embarrassed, but despite his best efforts when he called you doll all you did was giggle and call him cute after pressing a kiss to his cheek.
Rodrick once left a shirt at your place when he snuck over one time and saw you in it on FaceTime without a bra on he damn near drooled.
ʚ 🍓ɞ FIRST COUPLE MONTHS
Starts to get more comfy, cuddles with you when you’re alone and rests his head on your chest with his arms wrapped around your torso
Play with his hair and he’s like mush on top of you
Can’t get enough of hearing you sing, he loves it when you hum a song mindlessly in his presence, he thinks it’s the cutest thing ever.
Calls you bunny/bun or pinky pie
Walked in on you in just a bra and shorts one time, you didn’t see him again for another 6 minutes.
Had your first kiss in an empty hallway at school, you kissed him first<33
Whenever you do your makeup he insists on watching especially if you wear eyeliner, he’ll sit on your bed like a lost puppy as he watches his pretty girl in adoration.
Kisses you again at his house after he saw you cry over a Disney movie, he called you pretty and held you close to his chest until you had to leave.
Listens to old school music with you late at night over the phone
Said I love you for the first time out of nowhere on the phone, you were so starstruck he came over to say it to your face. He got in trouble for it later but he didn’t care, hearing you say it back was more important.
You have your first makeout session in your bedroom when you were supposed to be studying, the v neck shirt you were wearing complimented your double d’s and showed off the chain that held Rodrick favorite ring he gifted you. You looked so effortlessly pretty, so when you gave him a kiss for getting a question right he went in for another..and another..until your lipliner was smudged and you sat breathless on his lap.
Surprise bear hugs from behind when he misses you
Kisses your neck and messes with your hands when he wants attention
Your voice, your touch, your smile has Rodrick in a choke hold and hopefully the promise ring he’s saving up for with his mom bucks will show you how much he truly loves you <33
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loudclan-clangen · 1 month ago
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The song “Beautiful Little Fool” for Fiercestripe? Because I am not getting over her death. Listened to it and she was the first character to pop into my head.
You’re so right!
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YES! Please do, I would love to see it!
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The boring answer is that I've been drawing cats for a VERY long time. I think since I was 8 they have been the majority of what I drew. The less boring answer is you know the movie Spirit? It changed my life. It had a bonus video where one of the artists taught you how to draw Spirit himself and it was the singular thing that inspired me to start drawing (more likely possessed me). I think I must have been about two the first time I saw it because I cannot remember a time before I had that video memorized. I would spend hours sitting in front of that video (which was only like 10-15 minutes long) with a stack of papers just fully focused on perfectly following his instructions. I still think about that video to this day. Every time I draw legs the voice of James Baxter echoes through my mind. I don't know if that translates to why my cats are so beefy, I own a cat who is quite chonky, so that might contruibute to it, but now you have a fun fact about me regardless!
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All of the heirs are chosen based on birth order! Whoever is born first gets to be heir. I personally find that making strict rules about stuff makes playing the game a lot easier for me, I find it stressful to try to pick a "good heir" when I don't know what's going to happen later in the game so to limit that I just let it be completely out of my hands. 2. The game rolled for Songpaw to become a medicine cat! I would have changed it if he was an only kit or probably if I had known that Dashpaw was gonna die, cause I was really stressed about losing my run at that point, but I do my best to write a story that makes the game make sense rather than change what the game gives me when possible. I think it helps me to not have much of a story in mind while I play, just noting down events and thoughts and then going back and piecing it all together afterwards. That way nothing can "go wrong". 3. "Heir-hood" only applies to the leaders. There is no expectation that Cavepaw will become a healer. When Weed dies that position will be open until someone wishes to volunteer for it. 4. Honestly I don't really know. This might spoil a little bit, of tension, but I truly never had that happen. I was SUPER worried about it and did a lot to make sure it wouldn't, but after a couple of generations you get to a point where almost everyone is descended from a leader at somepoint. (And also everyone is second cousins with each other but you know what there are some problems that you just have to live with.) I image the clan would look for an omen and just pick a new leader based off of that and start the process all over again. In my experience worst comes to worst just make sure you have a very accurate family tree and trace it back a couple of generations.
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Thank you so much! I don't play with any mods for Loudclan, I'm too scared to lose saves to less than stable code. My favorite mod currently is Kori's Awoogen though! I just like to look at the beautiful art mostly. I use mass extinction as population control, so I turn it on and off based on how many cats I have. Two full pages is the upper limit of what I'm willing to deal with, so once a third page opens I turn mass extinction on and after an extinction happens I turn it back off. (also if I dip below 1 full page I turn unknown parents on until I'm back to two pages again). I've found after a couple of generations you can mostly stop worrying about it because the bloodlines have spread so far there's always someone who's a 6th great great cousin or something.
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The game generated him Dashpelt! I probably would have picked Dashfoot to stick with the generated them of a boring suffix but to make more sense overall.
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noosayog · 1 year ago
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[... and yet, it's you] - ft. oikawa toru
summary: there's a chinese song with the lyrics 【咸魚白菜也好好味】 which translates to "eating even dried salted fish and bok choi is good." with the meaning that i'm happy with anything as long as it's with you.
wc: 1.3k
for @shibaraki's komorebi collab! thank you for letting me participate, Monty!
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1. Sharing a bathroom
The shower is already running when you finally drag yourself out of bed. Your vision is still bleary as you methodically brush your teeth, content to let your mind slowly clear out its sleepy fog to the sound of Oikawa humming in the shower.
You're at the toilet when Oikawa says, "why do you always do that?"
"Do what," you respond.
"Like… let out a little bit of pee before you pee the rest of it out."
You laugh a bit. "You're gonna think it's stupid."
"Just tell me," he says, seriously curious now.
"Once when I was really little, I dreamt that I was peeing in the bathroom but then realized I was still in bed when I woke up to myself wetting the bed."
The shower stops so you can hear Oikawa chuckling. "That wasn't what I was expecting."
"Well, I don't know what you expected but I'm not risking anything. I was traumatized."
"As someone who shares a bed with you, I'm grateful for that."
2. Movie Dates
When you pick up Oikawa's facetime call, you immediately greet him with a "I'm watching a movie and I'm getting to the good part. What do you want?"
He scrunches his nose at you, whining. "Rude!"
"Well?" you prompt. "What do you want?"
"Is it so bad that I missed you and wanted to talk to you?"
You roll your eyes, but affectionately. "I'm putting you on mute."
Oikawa throws out a half-hearted protest but he'll count it as a win that you didn't hang up completely. You mute your side of the line and prop your phone on the tea table facing you, continuing to watch your movie. Oikawa's perfectly content just watching your facial expressions through the small screen and obediently stays quiet.
He mutes his line. too, putting on reruns of an older match but periodically looks over to check in on you. And every time he does, he can't help the grin that stretches on his face as he watches your expressions change scene to scene. Eventually, he keeps his attention glued on your face through the screen, watching your light chuckles and your mouth moving when you exclaim in disbelief over something stupid a character did. By the end of the movie, you’re swiping tears from your eyes and you finally notice that your boyfriend has been watching you.
"Oh my god, Toru," you unmute to say. "That was such a good movie. We have to watch it together next time."
Oikawa's smile widens, eyes crinkling affectionately. "Anything you want, babe."
3. Out Shopping 
On a rare Sunday that Oikawa actually takes off, the two of you head to the nearest major shopping mall to pick up some kitchen items. Oikawa keeps a tight grip around your hands as you ooh and ahh at all the colorful things in the mall; one distracted moment and he would lose you in the sea of people.
As you wander to aisles, you pass by the televisions where a rerun of an Olympic volleyball match is playing. Oikawa instinctively slows down to pay attention, taking mental notes of things he should try at tomorrow's practice.
His attention is pulled away when he feels you trying to pry your fingers out of his fists, only able to pull at his hand when his grip tightens.
"Toru," you say, "let go. I want to go see the bowls over there."
"Okay, let's go then," he agrees, tearing his attention away from the screens.
"No," you say, continuing to tug at your joined hands. "You can keep watching. I'll go look myself."
"What? Why? Let's just go together," he offers, but you tug your hand free.
"It's fine," you say, already walking towards the display that has your attention.
"Hey!" he protests, trying to follow your figure that has already blended into the crowds. Even with his towering height, he does his best to follow after you, locking in on the colorful sweater you decided to wear today.
Despite Oikawa having a significant edge over you in the height department, your little legs carry you surprisingly fast as you weave through people moving in every direction. The distance between the two of you grows larger until you finally stop to admire the collection of pottery on the shelves. He hastily closes the distance before you take off again. 
"Geez, for someone so short," he punctuates this statement with a heavy hand on your head, leaning heavily on it to dramatically catch his breath, "you sure walk fast."
You swat his hands away and reach up to the top shelf for the set of bowls you like.
He easily grabs them for you and puts them into the basket that he was sure wasn't in your hands when you were still by the TVs. He plucks the basket out of your grip and continues to tease you.
"It's always the short ones that walk like today's the last day of their lives," he laughs.
"Shut up, Toru," you fix him with a scathing glare and he holds his hands up in surrender.
You scoff, but take hold of his hand again, leading him to the next display you want to take a look at. He smiles contentedly now that your hands are joined again. And that's all he really wanted. 
4. Bedtime Routine 
You’re in bed, all tucked in when Oikawa finally joins you. He quietly prepares for bed and gently gets under the covers so as not to wake you. His arms reach over, ready to pull you in for a good night kiss but he doesn’t get the chance because one of your hands pops out from under the duvet to smack him in the forehead. 
“Ow! Why?!” he sputters. 
You scowl at him. “How many times do I have to tell you to shut the door when you come in!” 
“Okay, okay,” he rubs his forehead but obeys. The door shuts. “Happy?” 
You grunt. 
He chuckles a bit, charmed at your grumpiness. 
He tries again to pull you in, but this time, your hand reaches out to pinch the nearest part of his body. That happens to be his left pec. 
“Ouch! What now?” 
“Did you open the windows?” 
Without complaint, he climbs out of bed again to open the window, allowing a gust of cold night air to swallow the room. He sees your legs wiggle a bit from under the duvet and smiles inwardly. 
For the third time, he climbs in bed but stays a good distance away in case he forgot any other part of your night ritual. 
You turn around to face him, duvet pulled above your nose so he can only see your eyes. 
“Why are you so far?” 
“Are you done hurting me?” 
You scoff. “As if you even felt any of it.” 
“My forehead is red!” he exclaims. 
“Fine, stay on that side then.” 
Oikawa can’t help but laugh, shifting over to you and wrapping you up in a hug so tight, you let out a squeal when he squeezes. He doesn’t want to let go, so he keeps his arms tight around your torso and turns to lay on his back, pulling you so that your entire body is splayed over his. 
“Toru, I’ll squash you!” 
He ignores you and just nuzzles gently into neck. You sigh and shift so that you’re chest to chest with him, your head falling to the side so that your noses don’t collide. You’ll never tell him that you like the windows open every night so that the room is cool enough for you to bask in his warmth without overheating. 
Oikawa sighs, smoothing his palm over your back. “Good night, baby.” 
You murmur it back. 
Oikawa thinks this is it. This is the life - just being able to do your silly nighttime routine with you. Your warmth lulls him to sleep and he’s almost there when he feels you prop up, palms pushing hard enough on his chest that it forces an exhale out of his lungs. 
“Did you get me a glass of water? You know I get thirsty in the middle of the night.” 
He sighs, but obliges all the same.
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railingsofsorrow · 8 months ago
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you are in love (taylor's version)
[spencer reid x reader]
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SONG INSPIRATION » YOU ARE IN LOVE (TAYLOR'S VERSION) by taylor swift
summary: moments in which you realise you love him, but he has no idea.
pairing: s.reid x gn!reader
w.c: 2.4K
warnings/content: friends to lovers trope; angst because spencer is an oblivious idiot; case related discussion; fluff I promise; a whole paragraph in italics means it's a flashback.
A/N: sorry for the delay to post this I've been busy. hope you like it, have a great day <3
[part of the “taylor swift anthology”]
navi
masterpost
taylor swift anthology
criminal minds masterlist
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❝ morning, his place 
burnt toast, sunday
you keep his shirt 
he keeps his word. ❞
“I thought we agreed that you were not allowed in the kitchen.”
Your voice startles Spencer for a second. He flinches while trying to pull the slight burned toast out of the toaster. Your mouth is pulled into a grin as you notice his messy curls on the top of his head, his hands working fast on turning the tap on to diminish the burning sensation on his fingers.
“I am not that terrible.” Spencer hisses, pouting at his red fingertips. “I can make breakfast... I think.”
“Without setting yourself on fire? I seriously doubt that.” You tease him, approaching his hunched frame over the sink. With a soft touch on his shoulder, you take his hand on yours and lead it towards the water. You nudge him playfully. “Thank you for this, it smells great.”
Spencer lets out a huff in protest but the corner of his lips betray him. His heartbeat as fast as a racing car as if he had been running away from someone, all because of your touch on him.
Last night was a rough one for you.
You didn't feel particularly great after a case and you completely shut down anyone who tried to talk to you. That included Spencer, but you weren't able to delay your conversation as he invited you over for a movie night, a request you could tell he needed as much as you did, and you ended up sleeping over at his place as many other times before. However, this time, it was different.
Not because you slept in one of his shirts and his smell lingered near you on the bed during the night but because you sobbed into his chest and he held you into his arms, comforting your shaky frame as his hands traveled across your back and neck with the utmost care in the world.
Although physical touch wasn't his forte, Spencer didn't seem bothered to cling to you the whole night, and his touch was more than welcomed by you. You fell asleep in his bed, in his shirt and in his hold. It was the best night sleep you've had in months.
❝ and for once, you let go
of your fears and your ghosts
one step, not much
but it said enough ❞
“You think it could work out?” You asked him one day in the middle of your chess match on your way back home. Everybody else was dozing off while the two of you remained in your own little bubble. Tired but not enough to refuse a chess game.
Spencer moved one of his pawns forward, eyes traveling up to you questioningly. “What could work out?”
“You know,” you trailed off, biting your lower lip distractedly as you thought about your next move. You were going to lose anyway, might as well make the best of it to not be a total fool in front of Spencer. He'd get pretty smug after he won and though you can admit that you found it endearing, you hated losing. “Two members on the team in a committed relationship.”
“The fraternization policy—”
“Spence, c'mon.” You give him a short laugh. “Forget the stupid fraternization policy. I want to know if you think it could work out.”
He was silent for a moment, pondering over your request and you could tell he was probably gathering as many statistics as he could to provide you an answer. Truthfully, you don't know why you had asked that. Your previous conversation had initiated because you commented that you still had not found a dress to Derek and Savannah's wedding, you had no idea why it ended up on that question. You blamed exhaustion for your poorly choice of topic.
“It depends on who you're talking about.”
You shrugged, crossing your leg over the other. “No one in particular. I was just... thinking.”
“If they manage to be professional while at work then I don't see how it would be a problem.” Spencer concludes, the corners of his lips twitching as he notices your slip. He wins the match not long after. Not that you were surprised.
“Would you do it?” You were responsible for the disturbance of silence once again, but the question has been hanging over your head since your previous conversation. What if it was... us? Would it work out? Has it ever gone through your mind like it has with mine? “Actually, don't answer that. It's none of my business, I'm just sleepy and asking dumb questions.”
“Yes.” He answered after a beat, lifting his attention from the book to you. His gaze piercing into your curious one. “If it was worth it.”
❝ you can hear it in the silence ❞
“You don't have to apologize for rambling.” You said, throwing a pillow at him after he suddenly cut himself off, blushed bright red and apologized. “I like to hear you talk. All the time.”
“All the time?” Spencer raised a questioning brow as if he didn't trust your words. You can see why, given that most of the people you know rudely interrupt him in the middle of his speech about something he's passionate about.
You nodded, your mouth slowly stretching into a soft smile. “Yes. All the time. I mean it.”
His honey brown eyes scanned you for a long minute before he resumes his explanation about why Jung's ideas seemed to make more sense than Freud's. You listened to it, chipping in every now and then with a hum or a simple question. You'd do anything to keep him speaking, Spencer's voice was calming as observing the ocean on an empty beach. It's quiet and grounding. Peaceful.
❝ one night he wakes
strange look on his face
pauses, then says
you're my best friend
and you knew what it was
he is in love ❞
At some point, you drift off with your head leaning on his shoulder. His fingers carefully brushing stray strands away from your lashes. He was always so careful with you.
“You're my best friend.” You are able to hear. You don't move. You don't breathe. The following statement makes you glad you don't, because you wouldn't act with your head but with your heart and you didn't know if that was wise at that moment. “What if I love you a little more than that?”
❝ you can hear it in the silence ❞
There is a coffee cup waiting for you on your usual place at the roundtable one morning. The logo from your favorite coffee shop and you could practically taste the drink before it was even in your mouth.
He always knew your favorite order. And it seemed like he'd rather get you coffee from a place on the other side of town before work than actually exchange words with you.
A week after you slept over at Spencer's place, it all changed too quickly. He stopped answering your texts and proceeded to avoid you as much as he could during cases. You really tried to find the reason of why that could be happening. Did you do something? Did you overwhelm him in some way? But again, how was it fair to be treated so cold by your best friend if you didn't even know what you did?
So you don't apologize. You just treat him the same way. But you don't hold onto that coldness for long, because after the evening came around and you earned a busted lip and a concussion from an Unsub, Spencer finally seems to acknowledge your presence. He doesn't leave your side for the whole time the paramedic is examining you.
“Thanks for the coffee,” you say, clenching your jaw after the paramedic finished their job. “Seems like you care for my wellbeing even if you're avoiding me.”
“Don't walk too fast. You still have a concussion.” He follows you as you walk towards the car. You turn around, too quicky for you liking cause your vision spins for a second until it focuses again. Spencer's about to say something, reprehend you, more likely, when you interrupt him with fury in your tone.
“And why do you care?” You fire at him. “It's not like you've been ignoring my entire presence for a week, is it?”
Spencer's widened eyes tell you he doesn't expect you to lash out like that.
“I- I haven't been ignoring you.” Spencer stumbles with words. Excuses. You let out a scoff, turn around and walk off to the second car Hotch would be driving. Rossi and Emily are talking amongst themselves when you enter the backseat and shut it without a second word.
Emily eyes both your figure inside the car and Spencer helplessly weighing his options of going after you or letting you go.
He decides on the latter, she observes as he retreates back to the other car where JJ, Derek and Blake are already getting ready to leave.
Upon arriving back at Quantico, the first thing you did was say your goodbyes to everyone and immediately head to grab your stuff on your desk, observing the remaining twenty manila folders for a split of second until you harshly decided on going home and finish them tomorrow.
“I am not avoiding you- Not, not on purpose.” Spencer clenches the strap of his satchel, watching you freeze as you are about to open your car door. You hadn't give it much thought when he left at the same time you did since you always parked close and he would probably ignore you again. You're tired of playing games, if he wanted to withdraw from your life without a reasonable explanation, then so be it. Well, at least for tonight. You need at least one good night sleep without Spencer Reid controlling your mind. “I'm sorry.”
You turn around quickly, not realising how close he is until both of you took a step back as if you have been burned. With pink cheeks from either the cold or embarassement, you cross your arms trying to get a grip on yourself, focusing on his shoulder rather than his eyes.
“Why are you apologising?”
Silence envelopes the two of you and you actually think he had walked away and you had been left by yourself in the parking lot without an answer. However, when you lift your gaze, you're met with soft brown eyes studying you with awe.
He doesn't look away when he realise you caught him staring. Spencer is tired of avoiding you. Avoiding this.
“I was a coward.” Spencer let out a shaky breath. “I was scared and-and that made me a coward. I never wanted to cause a rift in our friendship-”
“It's too late for that, Reid.”
Spencer flinches as if he's been slapped. You hold back your wince. You don't mean to be cruel with your words but your lack of sleep and stress from the last case were making you feel sick of interacting with another human being. Even Spencer, who you would never get tired of. Maybe his childish behavior had contributed to that.
Don't call me that. You never call me that.
He takes one step closer and then one more towards you.
“I have feelings for you.” Spencer breathes out as if he's been holding it for a while — well, he had. “I didn't know how to— I didn't want to lose you and I was terrified to do something that—” his stuttering is enough for you to see how nervous he was. You have no idea where it all came from, but there wasn't an ounce of hesitation as he confessed and his eyes glint with a newfound determination. You suck in a deep breath as he says the next words. “I love you as more... as more than a best friend.”
“You're my best friend.”
“What if I love you a little more than that?”
“... so I avoided you because I didn't want to ruin us. I... I'd rather be your friend than lose you for good. Did I ruin that too?”
What if it was... us? Would it work out?
“For an IQ of 187 you sure can be dumb sometimes.” You utter in disbelief, all of the cold of the night giving place to the warmth of a familiar feeling bumping through your chest.
Spencer gives you a puzzled look, hurt flashing through his gaze. “What?”
“Spencer,” you let out in a whisper, seeking for his hand slowly. “do you remember when I asked you if two people in the team could work out in a committed relationship?”
A frown etches into his forehead.
“Yes,” he answers carefully.
You bite back a smile, fingers raising from his arms to his shoulders until you can reach the back of his neck. Spencer is focused on your eyes, completely hypnotized.
“You told me it could work out—
“... If it was worth it.”
“... if it was worth it.” Your lips quirk up as his hands lower to fit perfectly around your waist. Your noses barely touching. Personal space becoming a an unknown language between the two of you. “Well, I happen to think this is very much worth it and it wouldn't ruin anything.”
His eyes lower to your lips for a short moment. “It wouldn't?”
“No. Mostly because I haven't exactly been discreet about it and I have no idea how you didn't realise but... I love you too, Spencer.”
His eyes snap to yours, hands tightening instinctively around your waist which made you slightly weak in your knees. “You— what? How?”
Raising a brow in amusement, you smirk, “you're asking me how I love you?”
“I—no. I don't— I just didn't... expect that.” I can see that. “You feel the same? You have feelings for me?”
Your exhale, caressing his cheek fondly. “Yes, Spencer.”
Spencer. Not Reid.
Spencer.
His gaze once again falls to your parted lips. “Then I was an idiot.”
You chuckle, nodding in agreement. “Pretty much. Yeah.”
A large grin spreads across his mouth, so wide you'd think it might split his pretty face in two. God, you missed that. You missed him. Everything about him.
❝ you are in love. . .
“Can I kiss you?”
You scoff, pulling him closer by the tie, “Finally, I thought you'd never make a move.” Then your lips crash as if you are two people starved for weeks and the only thing keeping you alive is each other.
true love. ❞
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taglist: @lilyviolets ; @whore-for-spencer-reid; @yeonalie
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w4w4lycsss · 4 months ago
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Hey i have an idea for james hook. what about if you are his gf and are having a fight and when the life is sweeter song starts in the movie you are hanging out in the background. After their little bit of the song you come out and go against it and it makes him all sad and distracted.
STUPID ARROGANT | JAMES HOOK
summary: One morning you and Hook had gotten into a fight because of him and you decide to remind him that you're still angry at him in a way that feels personal. pairing: James Hook x gn!VK!reader
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You weren't emotional, on the contrary, you were despicable and annoying, you had no filters to judge people and you were only kind to people you genuinely cared about, and while you didn't lose your spark of personality you were a little more tolerant.
You had fallen in love, madly, you couldn't think of anyone but that cheeky pirate, when your feelings were accepted you were more than happy, both were too disastrous and perfect.
But you had no patience and you were easily irritated, just as he made fun of it, but this time he had exaggerated; You were angry with him, one of his jokes towards one of your friends had broken your boundaries to endure something else. You had already told him to stop the extremist jokes, but he didn't listen to you. You decided to teach him a lesson on your own.
He deserved it, didn't he?
The day after the joke you decided to ignore him, you didn't approach him to greet him or give him affection, you even got together with some royals to make them jealous and annoyed. You didn't like royal children, they were annoying and too calm, you didn't have to take care of yourself to avoid being robbed or hanging someone because they tried to touch you without your consent when you were distracted.
"Come on, honey, I already told you I was sorry!"
"Fuck you, Hook!"
He let out a tired sigh, pouting after having shouted at you from the other corner of the dining room at lunchtime. "They never call me Hook..."
"Oh, they're really mad at you." Maleficent hummed unimportant.
"Are you going to take what they call you seriously?"
"To them I'm James." He frowned in offense but softened his face as he felt some guilt. "For them..."
"Oh, for all the demons. We got it!" Maleficent protested. "The whole school knows that you fought, shut up now. They don't care about you."
He rolled his eyes, hurt by his friend's comment but without expressing it.
You noticed that there were two new girls who were becoming friends with Bridget and Ella, two girls that you and your friends frequently teased. You rolled your eyes, disinterested when you started listening to her sing.
"It's really not a secret recipe..."
"God, enough." You reproached with a sigh, rolling your eyes again and looking away from the song's performance.
You stood up and walked around the school, walking behind the boys who approached Bridget, loitering and figuring out how to escape the cheesiness about the girl's grades.
Bridget's chorus died down when the VKs appeared, starting to introduce themselves menacingly to the new girls with a part of the song. You suppressed a smile as Hook was the first to come out, crossing your arms and looking away.
You clicked your tongue and smiled mischievously at an idea. Maybe not the best.
You got behind the 'good girls' (how you used to call them) and started playing along with them as Uliana started to introduce herself, you weren't noticeable and it was a part of your recent idea.
"She is Ursula's baby sister..." You heard Bridget, smiling to your insides and ceasing to be so in the shadows, walking a little more to be visible to some extent.
You didn't know how to describe his face when he heard something that resembled your voice on the side of the royal people, being scared for a few seconds when he realized that it was your voice. His steps became more clumsy and careless, clashing with some of the royals and even daring to... apologize to them?
"What are you doing?" Uliana protested. "Stop acting like this!"
"I'm sorry!" He replied nervously and uneasily without taking his eyes off you.
"Since when have you say sorry?"
After the song you stood behind Bridget, crossing your arms proudly seeing her face sore from such a petty action. It really took a toll not to hit or something like the girl with the exaggerated amount of positivity that was emerging, making you nauseous, but you had to keep going for your plan to shut down.
It wasn't long until something happened, and that was when Uliana ate the flamingo feathers she stole from Bridget, turning into one and starting to haunt her furiously.
You rolled your eyes, angry and at the same time satisfied that something interesting was starting to happen; You were about to follow the crowd when cold metal hugged your arm, preventing you from moving.
"I'm going to rip your throat off with my hands if you don't let go."
"I don't care! Stop ignoring me." He pleaded with you, looking at you in pain.
You didn't really care about people, but like everything, there's always an exception, and that was Hook, that pirate you'd forgotten you were so in love with when you threw your tantrum.
"L-I'm sorry, I didn't think it would affect you."
"I don't give a shit about that, I don't like it when you ignore me."
His tone and expression were so vulnerable that if someone was watching him they would laugh at him, but you wouldn't, because you were to blame here. Although he had provoked the joke you got too angry, it was like a time bomb.
"Sometimes I forget how sensitive you are."
"Don't call me sensitive in public..."
"There's no one."
He looked down, embarrassed. "I love you. I'm sorry."
"I love you. I'm sorry." You repeated.
You grabbed his cheeks with your hands, making him look up, you realized how sorry and guilty he felt just with his eyes and the way his lips puckered, reaching out to give him a brief kiss and smile lovingly at him.
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fandomnerd9602 · 3 months ago
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First Time (🌶️)
Bambi!Wanda x Reader
Warning: a romantic and fluffy 18+ story
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Gif by @abimess
Your mate, Wanda Maximoff, the antlered for human hybrid was getting an uneasy feeling in the pit of her stomach. One moment she had absolute butterflies around you. The next she could have an overwhelming feeling of dread.
She had a good idea of where it was coming from. But she needed to talk about it with her good friend and fellow hybrid Natasha.
As with their usual hangouts, Wanda found Natasha in her on-site den. Natasha was watching an old James Bond movie when Wanda came in like a deer caught in headlights.
“What’s wrong with you, Wanda? Can’t find your favorite plushie?” Natasha smirks.
“No it’s not that.” Wanda played with her fingers a little. “I-I want to mate with (Y/N).”
Natasha just about choked on her popcorn. “W-what? Mate with…? Wait! You haven’t yet?”
“N-no. I want to but I feel like I can’t.”
“Why not?” Natasha inquired, “you love Y/N and they love you back.”
“I’m not ready to get pregnant.” Wanda whispered. “I can’t remember much. All I remember of my captivity was being pregnant with my boys. I-I can’t risk becoming pregnant and losing my babies. Not again! Please Natasha don’t let my—“
Natasha silenced her best friend with a hug. She gently rubbed her best friend’s back. Natasha gently nuzzles Wanda.
“No one will ever take your babies. And we’re gonna find your boys.” Natasha gently reassures her. “Just talk with (Y/N) about this”
“What if-“
“(Y/N) won’t reject you. It’s going to be alright”
A little later, Wanda crept into your office. You were finishing up a call with your friend and benefactor, Tony Stark.
“Yeah we’ll be there….see you Thursday, Tony” you hung up and smiled at your fiancé. “Hey my doe, how are you?”
Wanda looked at you, nervously. “Detka you know I love you, right?”
“Of course. And I love you”
“I…I want to mate with you” she looks at you with innocent eyes.
“Aren’t we already mates?” You got out of your chair and walked over to her.
“No. I mean y-yes we are. I-I mean I want to mate with you” she leans against your chest. “I want to be one with you.”
You gave it brief thought and a blush made its way across your face. “Oh…really?”
Wanda nodded, still hiding her face in embarrassment.
“Do you feel like you’re ready?” You take her face gently in your hand, she turns her gaze to you.
“I am. But I don’t want to risk having children yet. I-I want babies with you just not …right now”
“Okay.” You nod, “I completely understand. There are ways around that.”
“So..” Wanda found herself wondering, “we can mate and not worry about kids?”
“Yeah.”
You spent the better part of the afternoon, helping Wanda, answering any and all questions. Somehow just talking with you was enough to calm her nerves and help her to feel more comfortable around you.
“Mind if I cook you something special tonight?” You nuzzle and kiss her tenderly. Wanda giggles and nods.
The evening went by pretty spectacularly you’d say. You cooked her favorite meal, watched her favorite show, like any other evening. And then you found yourselves slow dancing to her favorite song. The one you had proposed to her with.
“Tonight has been…the best night of my life” she giggle against your chest.
“I love you Wanda. I want you to feel as loved as you made me feel” you kiss her knuckles with a little smile on your face.
“I’m ready” she tells you with a smile. “I want to mate with you”
“Oh…yeah I’m down” you try to comprehend the words. You were a little nervous, she was so amazing and here she was wanting you to be her only for the rest of your lives. Tonight was your first time together.
She kisses you softly, taking your hands in hers. Wanda softly guides you towards your bedroom. She stops you at the foot of your bed.
Her hands gingerly took a hold of the hem of your shirt. You helped guide it up and off your body. Your hands worked the buttons of her blouse. You could practically feel her heart racing with anticipation. She drops her skirt, letting it collapse to the ground in a circular heap.
You kissed her tenderly, feeling the heat rising within both you and her. You kissed her neck and then her collarbone. She took a hold of one of her bra straps and lowered it off her shoulder. You worked the other strap away and unclasp the back.
Wanda let it fall away. And there she stood before you: a goddess. Beautiful in ways she couldn’t comprehend and yet she chose to love you.
Your doe gently pushes you down to your bed. Her nimble fingers make quick work of your shorts. A little gasp escapes her lips but she calmly puts one leg over your hips and straddles you. 
Your doe slid one of the contraceptives you bought onto you. You could feel her heart racing even faster.
Your doe tries to balance herself. She lets out a nervous little laugh, her eyes shown only love and adoration for you.
“Are you sure about this, my doe?” You ask, making sure this is what she wants. She gives you a kiss and then nods happily.
“C-Can I hold your hand?” She whispered. With one hand, you take her hand in yours, interlocking your fingers. With the other hand, you place it gentle yet firm on her hips, just trying to make sure Wanda stays safely up.
And then came the connection, Wanda’s eyes rolled back as she began moving her hips against yours. Little moans escaped her lips. Her rhythm began slowly, a little awkward. But then it found the right pace, the right motion. You and Wanda fit together like two puzzle pieces, perfect in its connection, like you were made for each other.
“(Y/N)!” She moaned, “how could I have gone this long without you?!”
“Wanda” her name left your lips like a hidden prayer.
You and your doe were in heaven. Finding the right place, the right rhythm together. You made sure to watch her expressions, making sure that it was just as pleasurable for her as it was for you.
“You’re perfect,” she found herself screaming, “oh! You’re perfect!!!”
“You’re a goddess” you whispered in her ear as you bent up and kissed her neck and collarbone. She purrs and whines with your touch.
Your hands gently explore her body, her silky smooth body. She rocked against you up and down, lost in the moment. One of your hands wandered up and gently caressed her antlers. Her tail swished and twitched with delight.
“C-can we switch places?” Your doe asks with a little blush. You simply nod and switch spots with her. Her reddish brown hair graces your pillow as the two of you continue your rhythmic dance of love.
She places the heels of her feet on the lower part of your back. She didn’t want you leaving anytime soon.
“Please” she begged, “k-keep going” her gentle moans spur you to keep going, renewing your energy.
You kept up the rhythm, each motion was driving your doe further and further, higher and higher. You could feel you were getting close and so was she.
“Faster, please” she was begging, to which you happily obeyed.
“D-detka,” she was gently whining. “W-what…what is this—“
Suddenly you could feel your body seize up as she did too. Wanda’s head throttled back against your pillow. Her fingers gently grasped your back, holding to you for dear life. Her lips formed a perfect O. Her closed eyes reflected pure euphoria in that moment. A gentle cry of pleasure left her lips.
It was so beautiful. Your own eyes shut tight as waves of pleasure and euphoria overtake you. You open your eyes and come face to face with her hazel-emerald eyes. Her irises reflected eternity.
You leaned down and kissed her neck tenderly, hitting just the right set of nerves to illicit a gentle whine from your mate.
You collapses onto the bed next to her. Wanda giggles happily as she turned over into your embrace.
Your doe nuzzles you, giggling in your arms, her heartbeat matches yours in perfect synchronicity.
“Our hearts,” she whispers, “they beat as one”
“As they always should” you kiss her head tenderly and rub her bare back in reassuring circles.
“What was that feeling?” She asks you, looking up at you with curiosity.
“Hmm?”
“When we were mating, I-I had this feeling that built in my stomach and then it…it just exploded and it felt amazing.”
The thoughts in your brain fired off, you realized that you had given her an orgasm, on your first time together. You couldn’t help but smile.
“Had you ever felt that before?” You asked her. Wanda simply shook her head and giggled.
“No, it was amazing though.” She smiles at you, “I hope I can feel it again”
You pulled her close and kissed her softly. You had given your mate her first orgasm, an amazing achievement in your mind. You couldn’t help but smile.
Wanda looked at you with a hint of a blush, “how quickly could we mate again?”
You blush, “you wanna mate again?”
She giggles and nods. You kiss her tenderly and nuzzle her. Wanda grabs the box of contraceptives, she was really going to enjoy her time with you. It would take a couple minutes but it was no problem for you or her.
You quickly discovered that Wanda was an insatiable kind of doe. Even after a few rounds, she couldn’t get enough of you. Even following you into the shower the next morning just to show you how much she loves you. This was a new avenue of your love for each other that she was eager to learn and explore with you.
You loved your mate, you’d do anything to make her happy, make her feel loved. The love you have for each other was like a beautiful canvas, one that you would paint together.
Tags @lifespectator @family-house-of-m @aloneodi @revanshand @russianredassassin @holiday-house-of-m @iiconicsfan25 @supercorpdanbeau @scarletquake-n7 @multi-fandom-enjoyer @pinklawyerwinnerzonk
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padfootagain · 6 months ago
Text
Only an Almost (XVIII)
Chapter 18: Work Song
Hi! Here comes a new chapter!
We’re starting to escape the angst here!
I hope you’ll like this chapter! Please, tell me what you think!
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Pairing: Hozier x fem!reader, friends with benefits AU
Warning: No explicit smut or nsfw content, but there are sexual themes and heavy make-out sessions (it’s a friends with benefits AU, I can’t really escape it), so 18+ only!
Summary: Andrew has been in love with you for years, and yet he has never confessed his feelings. But a night out celebrating the engagement of his best friend changes everything. However, you don't seem ready to be with him just yet. You make him an offer that he can't refuse... but will certainly regret.
Word Count : 3806
Masterlist for the series – Hozier’s Masterlist – Main Masterlist
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Andrew was getting a little better every day.
He was getting up without too much difficulty these days. His sleep schedule was a mess, but he was getting some work done. He went to see his parents three times a week, saw his brother often too. He went for a swim every morning and a long walk every afternoon. Sometimes he watched a good movie, spent some time reading. He made sure to avoid being in the same room as you, and had declined some friendly gatherings because of it, but he couldn’t claim to regret this decision.
He was getting better. You were still the first thing in his thoughts when he woke up, the last image printed on his eyelids when he fell asleep, but it was a torturing routine he had grown accustomed to by now.
It was like living with your ghost. The memories of you spending time with him in all his most familiar spaces. His house, his favourite spot to swim, his favourite walks, the pub you and your friends always went to… All familiar, but with an empty space constantly by his side.
Today, Andrew was hurrying out of his house. It was still early in the morning, too early for him if he were to be honest, but his best friend could not be waiting for him on his wedding day.
Despite the sadness that usually tainted his days since that night, Andrew was excited today. Happy and excited. He secured his guitar case at the back of his car, and drove to Sam’s house. He wasn’t surprised to find your car already parked there, but it was alright. Of course, you would be there, it was planned, and known. Andrew had sent you a text the previous night, the first form of communication since your ‘talk’ at your house, asking for both of you to keep the interaction to a minimum so that the wedding would go smoothly. Sam and Daphne were the most important today, and you and Andrew could go your separate ways for good after today.
It took you an hour to answer with a short and polite message agreeing with him and promising to remain ‘professional’, as you had put it.
Andrew was both relieved and pained by that answer…
He knocked, and Sam opened the door in the span of mere seconds.
“Jesus fucking Christ, thank God! You’re here!”
Before Andrew could say a thing, Sam was grabbing him by the shoulders.
“Rings?”
“In my pocket.”
“Spare shirts?”
“In the trunk.”
“Your suit?”
“In the car. And yours too.”
“Guitar.”
“Yep, that too!”
“Your weird drinks for your throat? I swear to God, I will skin you alive if you lose your voice before singing for our first dance.”
Andrew rested his hands on his friend’s shoulders as well.
“Sam, I have everything. Don’t worry.”
“You double-checked?”
“Triple-checked. I have everything. It’s going to be just fine.”
Sam started to giggle, tears shining in his eyes.
“I’m getting married today.”
“Today,” Andrew nodded.
“Fuck’s sake…”
“You’d better let me in so I can help you get ready and you aren’t late to church.”
“Right, you’re right.”
They hugged before Andrew would come in, tight and emotional and full of happiness and excitement.
He was moving towards Sam’s bedroom when you appeared. You were walking out of the room, a bag in your hand. You were still wearing casual clothes, planning to change before the ceremony. You froze, but quickly recovered, offering him a polite smile.
“Hi, Andy!”
“Hi,” he answered with the same neutral smile.
“I’m getting out of both your and Sam’s way! I was picking up a few things for Daphne.”
“Of course. Is she alright?”
“Excited. Terrified. In pure bliss.”
“Same as Sam, then?” Andrew chuckled, and you nodded.
“I’m afraid so.”
You nodded in silence, and Andrew bit his tongue before he could ask you how you were, or tell you how beautiful you looked today…
“See you at church, then,” he smiled and you nodded, taking it as your cue to leave.
He stared as you disappeared through the door.
But then Sam was reappearing, babbling about some stressful detail that was insignificant. Andrew smiled, and patted his shoulder.
“Come on, let’s get you ready. Or she’ll never say yes to such an ugly mug.”
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Sam and Daphne were married.
It was official. They had both cried, had said yes (Sam was too excited and answered I do before the priest was done with the question), had exchanged rings (that Andrew did carry all morning and for which he checked approximately 2982 times if they were indeed in his pocket), had kissed, had walked out of the church, and finally it was time for the big party.
The eating and the partying were planned outside, under tents that were set in the parc of a large property the couple had rented for the occasion. It was spring, and unusually warm. A clear blue sky with only a few cotton clouds drifting by, and the weather remained that way through the beginning of the evening, as the sun was setting and the moon was slowly appearing in its crescent rise.
The speeches were spoken by a very nervous Andrew and then by you; and you both managed to perfectly balance emotion with humour and embarrassing anecdotes.
The dreaded caterers did an amazing job, that was complimented by the two mothers, and Sam threw a thumbs up at Andrew before starting to eat.
Andrew was sitting next to Sam, and you were next to Daphne, as best man and maid of honour. And Andrew was grateful for it. He wasn’t sitting next to you, and he managed to splendidly avoid talking to you during the day. Still, he could hear your laughter above the loud cacophony of the guests. He couldn’t help but steal glances in your direction every once in a while too, you looked too beautiful in your emerald dress for that.
Andrew pushed the thought away, focusing on the happy conversation that was unfolding around him, forcing a smile.
He hated himself for still wanting you this way…
But Sam and Daphne were happier than ever, and it was all that mattered, truly. They were ecstatic, laughing and smiling constantly, and stealing kisses whenever they could. And it was almost bearable then, the knowledge that you were sitting right over there, and that if he stood up and took but a step, he could hold you close once again.
Pathetic…
When Sam got up to invite everyone to gather outside for a dance, it was Andrew’s and Alex’s cue to get ready. There was a little wooden stage outside the tent as well as a wooden dancefloor, with lights hanging above the space, lightbulbs turning the atmosphere into something magical, cliché and terribly romantic. White flowers were decorating the stage, and hanging from the poles supporting the lights too. With the sky full of stars and the crescent moon above the trees, it was a sight worthy of a magical wedding.
Andrew was soon ready, all plugged in, guitar in hand, with the mic high enough to reach his lips. Alex was right by his side, sitting at the tiny electric piano. He gave Andrew a nod when he was ready, who cleared his throat to announce the first dance of the married couple.
“Daphne and Sam have done me the absolute honour to ask me to sing for their first dance. Erm… thank you again, to both of you, this is genuinely the most important event I’ve ever had to perform for, so… get ready while I try to get rid of most of the stage fright.”
Chuckles shook the crowd that had gathered in circle, right at the edge of the wooden dancefloor. Andrew tried to slow down his heart, take a couple of deep breaths, focusing on the moment, on the task at hand.
“Erm… if you guys are ready, erm… this is Work Song.”
He looked over at Sam, who offered him a nod in return. He had tears in his eyes, and Andrew had to look away, feeling his throat tighten with emotions. And he couldn’t have that now, not when he needed to sing. The first claps were played while Sam and Daphne were moving to the centre of the dancefloor, and they were both a sight to see, under the quiet lights.
Andrew was getting emotional again right before singing, and he looked for a distraction in the crowd as he started the first verse.
He noticed that many were mouthing the words, but not daring to sing. There were too many fond smiles for that, while Sam and Daphne twirled and swayed together, sometimes a little clumsily but with grins making their cheeks ache in the best way.
Andrew allowed himself to look at his friends again for the first chorus, and he kept his gaze on them despite the tears he had to blink away, and the depth that settled in his voice. By his side, Alex was being perfect, as per usual, they didn’t need to look at each other to be in rhythm. They had played this song too many times for that. Muscle memories perfectly combined.
He had to look away again, though, we he caught Sam whispering an ‘I love you’ in Daphne’s ear…
The second chorus was soon gone, and Andrew was trying to calm his nerves, to stay focused on the present, when he caught a silhouette dressed in emerald…
He almost missed a word when his gaze touched yours. And then it was impossible to look away. He blinked, but couldn’t do a thing about it.
You were so beautiful under those lights, under the moon, in this dress that suited you perfectly, for that song of love and devotion that spoke of feelings you sparked within him. He meant the words as he sang them to you. Despite how much you had made him suffer, despite all that you had done… he meant the worship he put in his words when he aimed them at you.
When I was kissing on my baby
And she put her love down soft and sweet
In the low lamplight I was free
Heaven and hell were words to me
He saw your lips quiver, the way you blinked and how your eyes shone a little brighter. He wondered if you were struggling against tears too, the way he was.
And he meant it. And it was fucking killing him, and he wasn’t sure you deserved it after breaking his heart, and he wasn’t sure he deserved you at all… but he meant it. He meant it and he was ready to cry at how much he still loved you. Over a month of trying to get better at functioning on his own, and you were shattering his whole world in just a glance…
That didn’t sound fair at all…
When my time comes around
Lay me gently in the cold, dark earth
No grave can hold my body down
I'll crawl home to her
He saw the tear rolling down your cheeks, he struggled to hold back his own. Still, he sang the same words again, like a promise, like a prayer, like he was begging for you to see that he meant it, that if you gave him another chance, he would probably take it.
Would he? Anyway, you wouldn’t offer it to him. You had been clear. That’s what the voice in his head kept on repeating, and yet there you were… standing and crying and staring at him with pain in your eyes, a feeling he wished he could have banished forever from your life.
Christ, he loved you still… and he would have done anything, even conquer death, for you…
When my time comes around
Lay me gently in the cold, dark earth
No grave can hold my body down
I'll crawl home to her
The song died out, Andrew’s fingers knew when to stop playing. He was shaken back to earth by the loud cheering of the crowd, and by your form disappearing as you walked back to the tent in a hurry.
He turned to Sam and Daphne, who were kissing and beaming and glowing while the dancefloor was being flooded with their loved ones. Alex and Andrew gave a small bow, before leaving the stage, the guests cheering for them.
Andrew needed to see you. He needed to find you…
There you were… you were walking out of the tent again, aiming for the grass that stretched beyond the tent and towards some trees, further down the small park. You had something in your hand, he didn’t know what it was.
He wanted to follow, but he was almost tackled over by Sam instead, as he hugged his friend too tightly.
“Thanks Andy! That was perfect! Thank you!”
Andrew couldn’t refrain a chuckle, while Daphne was hugging Alex too.
“No need to thank us for that. It was an honour, truly,” Andrew smiled.
“Come on, let’s dance!”
“No, no, no…”
“Andrew, it’s my fucking wedding! I want everyone dancing!”
“I hate dancing. I don’t do dancing.”
“Tonight, you do. Come on.”
Andrew looked in your direction, but you were gone.
He heaved a sigh.
“One dance. I do one dance, and that’s it.”
“Yes, yes! Perfect, come on!”
Andrew played along, dancing with Daphne for a song. His friend tried to hold him back when he moved away, but then Alex popped out of nowhere.
“As any of you seen Y/N? I wanted to borrow her charger for my phone, she said she’d give it to me after the first dance but… can’t find her anywhere.”
Andrew’s face fell, worry making him frown.
“Have you called her?”
“Tried to, but her phone is in the tent, and she isn’t.”
“I’ll go look for her.”
“Maybe she’s inside…”
“No, I saw her hurry towards the thicket over there,” Andrew shook his head, pointing at the bundle of small trees and bushes, barely visible in the distance.
There was no light in that area. Without your phone as a torchlight, you might have fallen, hurt yourself, fell right into the arms of a complete psychopath… and you had no way to call for help. Not with the loud music that was being played.
“I’ll go look for her. Alex, can you check inside the house?”
“Andrew, she’s been gone for five minutes…”
But when she looked up at the worry on his face, Daphne fell silent.
“Alright, you go, both of you.”
“Text me if you find her,” Andrew told his friend, who merely nodded and hurried towards the mansion.
Andrew bolted in the opposite direction, his long legs devouring distance in the blink of an eye. He jogged across the grass, passed the trees, turned on the light on his phone.
He looked around but couldn’t see you.
Panic was starting to rise in his chest, get a grip on his heart and make his lungs ache for air.
“Y/N!” he called.
No response, he called again, louder this time.
“Andrew?”
He spun around, and there you were…
On the other side of some hawthorn tree. He heaved a relieved sigh.
“For fuck’s sake! Y/N, what are you doing here?!”
“I… what are you doing here?”
He texted Alex quickly, before approaching you. His tone sounded angry, even though he was simply scared.
“I was looking for you, obviously! What the fuck were you thinking, huh? Going off like that, on your own, in the dark, without your phone! Anything could have happened to you!”
“Andrew, I’m right next to the party, at my best friends’ wedding. I’m safe, it’s alright.”
He groaned in annoyance, or perhaps it was simply relief.
“You can go back to the party, I’m alright.”
“You can’t stay here on your own…”
“Why not? I’m alright.”
But Andrew stubbornly sat next to you.
“I can’t let you stay here on your own.”
“Andrew…”
You heaved a tired sigh, while he was setting his phone so that both of you were enlightened by its light.
“You’re alright? What’s going on?”
He finally noticed the way the light was getting caught in the glass of a bottle of champagne.
“Y/N?”
“I want to be alone…”
“Then come back to the tent.”
You looked up at the sky to hold some tears back.
“Hey… why are you crying? What’s wrong?”
You merely shrugged, but you were properly crying by now.
“Hey… hey, stop crying… please, Y/N…”
He didn’t think. When Andrew wrapped his arms around your shaking frame, when he cradled the back of your head in his large hand to pull you close to his chest, when he shushed you softly… he didn’t think. You were crying, you looked so upset… he had never seen you so upset before. You spent several minutes sobbing in his arms, shaking, despite the way he soothingly stroked your back.
“It’s alright. It’s alright, calm down… Christ, Y/N, calm down…”
Slowly, the tears subsided. You were holding onto his vest like your life depended on it.
“My head is spinning,” you blurted out.
Andrew took a look at the bottle. It was half-empty, and he had no doubt it wasn’t your first drink of the night.
“Champagne will do that to you.”
He kept you close even if you were calmer now. You sniffed, buried your face deeper into his chest. He merely tightened his hold on you.
“You’re okay? Feeling better?”
You slowly nodded.
“You want to tell me what happened? Why you’re so upset?”
He was surprised as you laughed.
“Not really, no.”
“Alright… We should get back there.”
But despite his own words, he didn’t move a muscle. Instead, he closed his eyes, tried to precisely carve in his memory how it felt to hold you: the sound of your breathing, the softness of your hair, the silk of your dress, the warmth of your body against his, how your frame fitted so perfectly into his embrace…
“I’m sorry you were worried. I just wanted to be on my own,” you apologized in a quiet voice, it still sounded a little hoarser than usual because of your sorrow.
“I panicked a little bit. I shouldn’t have reacted like that. I’m sorry.”
“I think… I might throw up…”
“Right… let’s get you inside, then. Come on…”
“No… no, stay. Please, stay…”
“I’ll come with you.”
“No! No… please, Andy. Just another minute…”
“If you throw up on me, I will get my revenge.”
“Turning me into a vampire?”
“I’ll haunt you after I’m turned into a ghost.”
“Stalk me, you mean.”
“Haven’t you noticed how much of a creep I am already?”
You sniffed once more, and he tried to look at your face to see if you were crying again, but you were hidden in his chest.
“I’m so sorry, Andy… I’m so sorry about everything,” you whispered against his heart, but he caught your words loud and clear, despite the music coming from the party.
“Let’s not talk about this now,” he whispered back, bending to press his lips to the side of your head. “We should go back. Your plus-one must be looking for you.”
“A plus-one? You have a plus-one?”
“Me? No… no, I came alone. I’m talking about you.”
“You didn’t see that I was alone?”
Your words were slurred with alcohol, but they sounded genuine, vulnerable too.
“Erm… no… I… I like… tried to avoid you all day, in case you haven’t noticed. That includes not looking in your direction.”
You let got of his vest completely. He expected you to move away, but you didn’t. It felt like you had gone limp in his arms.
“You can’t even look at me anymore…”
You started crying again, and Andrew cursed at his clumsy words.
“No, I mean… you… We’ve agreed to stay out of each other’s way, and that’s what I’ve tried to do.”
“I didn’t come with anyone.”
“Okay.”
“I fucked up… I fucked up, Andy, I’m so sorry…”
“Hey, look… let’s just…”
He looked up at the night sky, in an attempt to hold back his tears. His throat had tightened, he let out a long exhale, trying to focus on the shape of the incomplete moon, the stars that shone brightly, the happy song that was being played, he couldn’t remember the name of it. Anything to try and not crumble in your arms there and then. He had to keep it together.
“Let’s… let’s not talk about this now, okay?” his voice was soft, mainly because emotions were making it hard for him to speak. “We’ve already spoken about what happened. We just… like… We just need to move on now, yeah?”
But you shook your head.
“I fucked up. I fucked up because I was terrified. I was so fucking scared of letting myself have feelings for you… I was so scared of being too lonely when you’re away, of not being able to cope with your absence, with how much I fucking miss you every time you leave. And I was scared you could meet someone better, someone who could follow your lifestyle in a way I couldn’t and then you would have dumped me and…”
You heaved an exhausted sigh, while Andrew was remaining motionless, trying to process what you were saying.
“I should have never thought about this arrangement. I should have never accepted that stupid date. I should have never pushed you away.”
You spoke again after a short silence. Your next phrase knocked out all the air from his lungs.
“I love you. I’ve always loved you… God, I’m so sorry, Andy…”
He couldn’t answer to that. He couldn’t react to it either. He couldn’t process what your words meant…
Besides you were drunk… very drunk… this… this was a mistake…
“Let’s get you inside, Y/N, okay? Come on, now.”
At long last, you let him help you to your feet, and with his help you were able to walk back to the tent. Some members of Sam’s and Daphne’s families were staying at the mansion for the night, and there were still a few empty rooms available. Andrew got a key, and safely helped you to a bed. He took off your shoes, made you lie down, tucked you in. The time it took him to come back with a glass of water to put on your bedside table, you were fast asleep.
He took a moment to watch you like this, hair a mess of locks stranded on the pillow, looking peaceful, even if your crying was still visible. He gently brushed your cheek, dropped a gentle kiss to your forehead, and then he was gone.
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rwrbmovie · 1 year ago
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BTS of #RWRBMovie: NYE kiss
via Consequence:
It was important for Henry to be the grab-and-kiss-er in this scenario, Lopez says, because “there’s something very striking about a character such as Henry, who has spent up to that point in the film being very buttoned down and seemingly in control of his urges in that moment, losing the ability to control his urges and give into the desire to kiss Alex.” Plus, there’s the additional context of Henry being literal royalty: “There’s something very sexy and romantic about a prince dropping his guard. And taking things that are old movie tropes and letting two boys do it — that was definitely the romantic gesture that we wanted to go for.” Of course, on a practical level, the grab-and-kiss has certain practical elements to consider. “The only danger on set was that sometimes [Nicholas Galitzine] would come at [Taylor Zakhar Perez] so forcefully that they would just bang faces. We were really worried about fat lips and bloody noses,” he laughs. It wasn’t just the passion of the actors that was an issue, but the terrain — according to Lopez, “they were on a slope. So Nick was going downhill.” (Passion with a little help from Newtonian physics.) On set for this as well as the film’s other, more graphic scenes was intimacy coordinator Robbie Taylor Hunt, who oversaw shooting the kiss in two different ways: “We had one where Alex is completely taken by surprise and doesn’t respond to the kiss. And then we did Version B, where Alex is taken by surprise and then does respond to the kiss. Because I wasn’t quite sure what was going to work, so I gave myself the option of having both.” Process-wise, this meant rehearsing both versions and then shooting different angles and framings, which means “those lads kissed easily like 40 or 50 times that night,” Lopez laughs. “There’s nothing like having to kiss someone 40 times in a row to really, really take the allure out of kissing.”
While the grab-and-kiss is the best term I’ve been able to come up with for this maneuver, it’s not my favorite — if only because if you Google the phrase “grab and kiss” today, the search term pulls up very unsexy results. These unsexy results (including phrases like “attempted sexual assault” and “Donald Trump”) do serve as a necessary reminder of how delicate a balance one has to strike with this particular maneuver. As Lopez puts it, “there is a gray area and I think you see it in some older movies, in which they do the grab-and-kiss and it’s icky — it just feels not consensual at all, or very uncomfortable.” What’s so powerful about the grab-and-kiss is that it’s an embrace with purpose. There’s a backstory to it, usually one involving repressed emotions and deeply held longing. That was the strategy Lopez used with Red, White & Royal Blue, using the scenes leading up to the kiss beneath the tree to emphasize “the pull between them.” (Specifically, Lopez got what he calls his “West Side Story moment” during the New Year’s party, when a crowd dancing to Lil Jon’s “Get Low” does as instructed by the song, leaving a still-standing Henry and Alex to gaze at each other across the dance floor.)
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sunflowerrosewood · 5 months ago
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Falling Asleep on Them During a Movie HC ~ Stray Kids
Author's Note: Since my other account @cheekyredwillow got deleted. I am adding some of my favorite fanfictions to this account and revamping this one with new ones. I hope to make an actual list of fandoms I am still a fan of! NO requests for the time being.
Warnings: maybe swearing but nothing major. Ends with something they say when they realize you fell asleep on them.
~~~
Bang Chan
You and Chris decided to have a movie night after he had been working so hard for the past 3 nights for the next single. The 3racha were working so hard and you dropped by with snacks and support for them.
To celebrate the single dropping and Chris's hardwork, you two decided to have a date in. A movie night with popcorn and sweets. You two had been wanting to see a new action movie that came out and it hit streaming devices a day ago.
So you two had set up the movie and the popcorn. You two munched away on the popcorn and wondered where the movie would go next. But after an hour in, you began to feel sleepy. Maybe it was due to work or staying up late these past nights but you were tired.
Chris noticed your body get heavy against him and looked down. He saw you sleeping softly. He smiled to himself.
"Goodnight my sweet Y/n. I'm so thankful you love me through everything. I hope to continue to grow into myself with you by my side." Chris said softly before kissing your temple.
Lee Know
You and Minho got along to a certain degree. You two weren't best friends like you were with Jisung and Changbin. But you two did like to be around each other.
What you did not know was that Minho has been harboring a crush on you for months. The whole group teased him about his crush because he would relax around you. The teasing was usually incessant.
You were invited over for a movie night with the boys. You were excited and ready to watch the newest action movie with them. The boys were already sitting by the TV when you arrived which left one spot by Minho. You felt your heart skip a beat as you did find Minho the most attractive from the group.
"Oops Y/n. You'll have to sit with Minho." Jisung said in a sing-song voice.
"I don't mind." You said as Minho looked up at you and smiled a little.
You sat down beside him and Chris started the movie. You didn't realize you had leaned into Minho as the movie started but he did. His heart skipped a beat.
The action movie finished and another movie started. About an hour in, you felt sleepy and felt yourself nodding off. You fell asleep against a warm chest.
Minho noticed you fell asleep during the second movie and chuckled. He wrapped his arm around you and whispered to Chris.
"Hand me a blanket." He whispered as Chris smiled and handed him one.
The others were too busy watching the movie as Minho wrapped you in a blanket.
"When you wake up, I promise to take you on a date. You are so wonderful Y/n. I don't want to lose you." Minho said softly.
Changbin
You and Changbin have been best friends for a few years now. You have harbored a crush on him for a year now. You were excited that he invited you to a movie night for the two of you. What you did not know was that he was planning on asking you out before the movies to turn the movie night to a date.
You arrived and Changbin had boxes of pizza waiting. You ran in and hugged him.
"I'm so excited for our movie night." You said as he chuckled.
"I have a quick question before we begin." Changbin said as you looked up.
"Are you okay?"
"I am! Y/n I was wondering if we could go out with one another? Like a relationship?"
"I-I would l-love to." You stuttered and Changbin kissed your cheek.
"I'm glad to hear that. Let's make this our first date."
Both of you excited that the movie night turned into a date night, you two curled up with one another. You two ate some pizza and started a comedy movie.
After many laughs and multiple movies, you two were on the third movie. After being full from pizza and happiness, you felt tired and fell asleep on Changbin's shoulder. Changbin threw a blanket around the two of you and hugged you closer.
"I'm so glad you accepted to go out with me. I cannot wait to take you on more dates. I have loved you since we first met. I'll prove this to you." He whispered before curling around you.
Hyunjin
You had just gotten over a cold and were seeing Hyunjin after a week of not seeing each other. You two were excited and Hyunjin got some of your favorite foods. You arrived at his place and Hyunjin immediately let you in. You noticed a new art piece by the door. It was a painting of your first date.
"Awe Hyunjin I love this." you said as Hyunjin hugged you from behind.
"I love this too Y/n. Ready for us to hang out?" He asked.
You two walked into his apartment and you saw a counter full of your favorite foods. The two of you made plates of food and ate. While eating, you two caught up after not seeing eachother. Hyunjin talked about rehearsal and you discussed what you did while you recovered. Then Hyunjin played some music. The two of you danced for a little bit before you two decided to watch a movie.
The movie had only played for 30 minutes when you began to get tired. You were still recovering and got tired easily. You fell asleep against Hyunjin's shoulder. After about 10 minutes, Hyunjin looked down and noticed you.
"Oh Y/n. I'm so sorry. I hope I didn't push you. Sleep now and rest. I want you to be your best. I love you so much." Hyunjin whispered and held you closer.
Han
You and Jisung have been dancing around each other's feelings for a while now. It has gotten on the rest of the other's nerves because you two would be cute together. Chris and Changbin decided to set up a movie night and to invite you two. A 3racha and you movie night that will end up a Jisung and Y/n movie night.
When you came over, you were excited to see the 3racha but more excited to see Jisung. You fell for him the day you two met but you were not sure if he felt the same. So you've kept it secret except with Felix and Seugmin.
To your surprise, you saw Jisung when you arrived but none of the other 3racha.
"Jisung where's the others?" You asked as he chuckled.
"Both of them had something to finish at the studio so they asked me to come home. They said for us to start the movies."
"O-Oh okay! Sure let's start!" You took a seat beside him.
As the movie started, you felt Jisung begin to lean. He shyly wrapped his arm around you.
"Is that okay?" Jisung asked as you nodded your head. "Y/n can I say something?"
"Sure!"
"Y/n, I have fallen for you since we first met and I really want to go on a date with you. Would you want to go on a date this weekend?" He asked.
"I w-would love to! I have fallen for you since we first met too." You said as Jisung immediately hugged you. You two looked at each other and leaned in. You two shared a soft kiss and both of you had a faint blush on your cheeks.
You two continued to watch the movie and you felt a lot more calm. You yawned and fell asleep against him. Jisung smiled at you and rubbed your arm softly.
"I'm so glad you said yes to me. I cannot wait to take you on this date and show you the best time. I love you so much Y/n." He whispered.
Felix
Your boyfriend Felix was coming home with the rest of the group today. They had a tour in Europe and were returning home. You spent the morning and afternoon setting up for his return. You cleaned the apartment and cooked his favorite meals before heading to the airport.
When you arrived at the airport, you saw them arriving. Your eyes met Felix's and you waved. A smile shined on his face as he saw you. As they made it through, Felix ran up and hugged you. The two of you shared a needed kiss.
"I'm ready to go home Y/n. I'm so happy to see you." Felix said softly.
"Let's go home." You said as you two headed back.
As you two arrived at home, you helped Felix get his luggage. You two walked in and Felix's eyes widened.
"Y/n! You didn't have to."
"Of course! I wanted to surprise you with your favorite food." You said as Felix went over to get a plate of food.
The two of you ate some food and Felix told you about his tour in Europe. You listened and asked some questions as you were interested in Europe. He loved telling you how the fans were excited to see them. As you two finished up, both of you cleaned dishes and put away leftovers.
"Want to watch a movie?" Felix asked as you nodded your head.
Felix turned on the TV and went into your watchlist to pick a move you two wanted to see. You both curled up on the couch with a blanket and let the movie roll.
As the movie ended, Felix noticed a weight by his side. You had fallen asleep on him and had your hand bunched in his clothes to hold him close.
"I'm so glad to be home with you Y/n. Thank you for doing so much. I love you my dear." Felix whispered and kissed your temple before he started to fall asleep too.
Seugmin
You and Seugmin are dating and have been for a couple of months. You two were having your first at home date. He mentioned seeing a new movie on a streaming platform and invited you over.
When you arrived and Seugmin let you in, you noticed he seemed down. He was not his chipper self from earlier.
"Is everything okay honey?" You asked.
"Not really. I got a couple of hate comments and they got to me before you arrived. I'm sorry." Seugmin said softly.
"It's okay. I'll be by your side. No matter what they said, you are my handsome and amazing boyfriend. I love you so much. I wish I could show you in more ways." You said and held your hands out.
Seugmin immediately hugged you tightly and rubbed your back. You rubbed his back soothingly. After a couple of minutes, Seugmin pulled you to the couch and turned on the movie.
You two sat down on the couch and Seugmin pulled the blanket around you two. You laid your head on his chest. As the movie began to play, you felt Seugmin rubbing your arm. It started to put you asleep. Soon enough, you were out.
Seugmin looked down and smiled to himself. He kissed the top of your head.
"I'm so glad you've been by my side. Even through my insecurities you stay. I love you so much Y/n. Thank you so much. I love you." He whispered.
Jeongin
You and Jeongin were excited to have a movie night in. He was working hard learning the new music and they gave them a break. When Jeongin came home, you ran up to him and threw your arms around him. You hugged him tightly.
"I'm so happy you get to relax and we can be together." You said as Jeongin chuckled.
"I'm excited too."
You two ordered in your favorite restaurant and waited for the food to arrive. It was the perfect food to watch movies to. Once the food arrived, you set the food around the couch. Jeongin set up the movie. You two began to eat and watch the first movie of the night.
"This was a good idea to order in. I was so tired from practice today." Jeongin explained.
"I'm glad you're enjoying it!" You said.
From comedy to romance to action, you watched many movies. It was the 5th movie when you began to feel sleepy. You laid your head on Jeongin's shoulders and fell asleep. Jeongin noticed a little while later and chuckled. He laid his head on top of yours.
"Goodnight Y/n. I have been so busy recently yet you've been so caring. You've been patient. I love you Y/n. This break will be for us." Jeongin whispered and started to fall asleep too.
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formulapierre · 11 months ago
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If You Love Her | Pierre Gasly
Pairing : Pierre Gasly x Reader
Prompt : Based off of the song 'If you love her' by Forest Blakk. You finally decide to give Pierre your everything and you get his everything in return, except the universe seems to have other plans.
Warnings: Life changing injuries; Any other language apart from English was done by google translate, apologies for anything incorrect x
Word Count: 5261
Song: If you love her - Forest Blakk
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Take it If she gives you her heart, don't you break it
“I'm ready to let you in,” You say, you had been guarding your heart for months now; scared, no, terrified of being betrayed again by someone who told you they loved you. 
“Then let me in cherie,” He says with a smile as he gently cups your face, brushing his thumb over your cheek.
“I love you…” You say. He had said it a few weeks ago, assuring you there was no pressure for you to say it back. You had met through a mutual friend, that being your ex-boyfriend, who at one point in time had been Pierre’s best friend. Though after seeing everything He had done to you and seeing how damaged you were; both of you decided never to speak of him again. 
“I love you too,” He says softly, bringing you in for a gentle kiss. “So much,” He adds, causing you to blush. You were then, and still are now, surprised that someone like him could love someone like you.
Let your arms be a place she feels safe in She's the best thing that you'll ever have
“You need to leave,” Pierre said calmly to the guy who had been pounding on the door to your apartment for the last ten minutes, adamant on talking to you.
“Mate, just let me talk to her,” He said, voice holding strong.
“She doesn’t want you here, and neither do I,” Pierre replies, looking over at your tear-stained face as you sit on the couch. “Cherie, go into our bedroom, you don’t need to hear any of this,” He says and you quickly follow his advice.
“Just go home, neither of us are opening the door for you. Y/N Is gone, she can’t hear you,” He tells your ex-boyfriend who was still adamant on seeing you.
“Ma-,” Your Ex goes to say before Pierre cuts him off.
“I’m not your ‘mate’ anymore. And I’m fed up now, I just want to go and make sure Y/N’s ok, so I’ll put this plainly for you. If you don’t leave in the next 30 seconds, I will call the police,” He said bluntly. There’s one last bang on the door before it all goes quiet. Pierre pulls up the security feed from the camera outside the door and sees your Ex begrudgingly walking back towards the elevators. He sighs in relief as the camera loses sight of him. Pierre quickly makes his way into your bedroom and finds you curled up underneath a mound of blankets.
“Hi cherie, it’s just me,” He says getting onto the bed next to you. You almost immediately turn over and cuddle into his chest. “What do you need?” He asks, wanting more than anything to take this feeling away
“I just need you to hold me,” You say as you cling to the shirt he was wearing, not wanting him to leave you.
“I can do that” He says with a smile as he pulls you into his chest, wrapping his strong arms around you.
She always has trouble falling asleep And she likes to cuddle while under the sheets
Yourinstagram
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yourinstagram Life lately...
yourbestfriend People either want to be you, or be with you 🤩
PierreGasly Missing you Cherie <3
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Pierre had been gone for what felt like ages, in reality it had only been a few weeks and you had facetimed each other most nights. Falling asleep next to each other was something you had both become very accustomed to. You knew his flight arrived in the small hours of the morning into Malpensa Airport and he made you promise that you wouldn’t wait up for him. You had settled into bed slightly later than you normally would, opting for one of your favourite movies and eventually falling asleep. 
You didn’t hear the front door to the apartment as he came in. Drop his suitcases and carry on by the door before heading straight for your bedroom. He kicked his shoes off and got undressed before slipping into bed next to you. You had fallen asleep facing his side of the bed, wanting to see him when he got back and luckily you did. As the bed dipped and he moved closer to you, you slowly woke up; arms instantly reaching out for him as he made himself comfortable.
“Missed you whilst you were away” You say as He wraps his arms around you.
“I missed you too Cherie,” He says, kissing the top of your head.
“Glad you’re finally home,” You add sleepily as you cuddle into him, resting your head on his chest as he pulls the sheets over you both.
“-and I’m not going anywhere,” He says as you fall back to sleep, just as quickly as you woke up.
She loves pop songs and dancing, and bad trash TV
It had been a fairly productive day on your part, you had mailed a letter to your Grandma, sent a package to your Aunt with birthday presents for your niece and nephew and gone grocery shopping. You were slightly surprised when you found the apartment unlocked; cursing at yourself as you had evidently forgotten to lock it. You turned the handle and pushed the door open with your foot as you had grocery bags in your hands.
“I can help,” Pierre says coming out of the kitchen and taking some of the bags from your hands,
“What are you doing here?” You ask with a pleasantly surprised smile on your face. He must have been back a while as the living room was now tidy and He was in the process of doing the kitchen. Music was playing in the background, though it wasn’t his music, it was yours…
“I took the day off,” He says as you put the bags down on the kitchen counter; He takes you into his arms and you both start to sway to the music. “I thought we could start the new season of that reality tv show you watch,” He adds, spinning you round. “Oh, and I picked up that album you’ve been listening to on vinyl,” He says as you both dance around the kitchen.
There's still a few other things She loves love notes and babies and likes giving gifts Has a hard time accepting a good compliment
‘Good Morning, mon cherie, i woke up early this morning so have decided to get a quick gym session in before we leave; i won’t be too long and then i'll bring you breakfast in bed. Maman isn’t expecting us until 11 so we’ve got a couple hours before we need to catch our flight.  I can’t wait for you to see what I got you.
I love you more than you’ll ever know , P x
Pierre certainly delivered on his promise as the next time you saw him He had breakfast in hand, both of your bags packed next to the closet door as He got back into bed. You spent an hour in bed together before you had to get up and get ready to go. You had been looking forward to Christmas with Pierre’s family for months, slightly disappointed that you weren’t going to see your family until the 27th.
She loves hеr whole family and all of her friends So if you'rе the one she lets in
The jet touched down at the airport in Paris, a rental car waiting for us on the tarmac as we grabbed our bags. The drive from here to Rouen was pretty good and didn’t take too long so before You knew it you were pulling into the driveway. You could already see everyones cars parked up and there looked to be a few more than usual but you just chalked it up to Pierre having a large family and maybe there were a few more cousins joining you this year.
Pascale had spotted you as you drove down the driveway so was already on the doorstep waiting for you. She wrapped her arms around you both, telling you how much she had missed you. Even though she had seen you a few weeks ago at the Abu Dhabi GP she acted like she hadn’t seen you in years.
You were quickly ushered inside and out of the cold, as you were hanging your coat up you thought you saw someone you recognised, you thought it was your Mum…you laughed to yourself knowing there was no way it could have been her…must have been Pierre’s other cousins that parked their cars outside. Everyone was sitting around the fireplace watching a movie whilst Pascale and Pierre’s sister in law cooked christmas dinner. 
“Uncle P!” His niece shouted when she saw him. Scrambling to get up and run into his arms, the other children quickly followed, they didn’t forget about you either. Pierre’s youngest niece is almost being more excited to see you. Then you thought you saw her again…and your Dad sat next to each other on the far couch, smiling back at you. 
“Mum? Dad?” You ask and your Mum quickly comes over to you. “What are you guys doing here?” You ask looking between them.
“Pierre called, said you were annoyed you wouldn’t be seeing us today and that you wished you could have a huge family christmas so He invited us. I hope that’s alright?” She asks and you quickly nod.
“That's more than alright,” You reply, pulling her in for another hug. Growing up with no siblings or cousins, Christmas was always very quiet so you loved the years you were at Pierre’s with his entire family.
Take it If she gives you her heart, don't you break it Let your arms be a place she feels safe in She's the best thing that you'll ever have She'll love you, if you love her
PierreGasly
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PierreGasly Christmas dumpp
yourdad Thanks for having us!
yourinstagram You are literally the loml 😍
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“You’re incredible you know that,” You say as you drive back towards the airport. It had been a busy few days with His family and you were glad you were finally heading home. You had made some amazing memories and it would be a Christmas you’d never forget.
“I’m glad you liked it Cherie,” Pierre said, squeezing your thigh lightly as he rested his hand there.
“No-one's ever done anything as thoughtful as that before…it really means a lot to me,” You say honestly.
“They should have done, you deserve the world Y/N,” He replies and you lace your fingers into his.
On days when It feels like the whole world might cave in Stand side by side and you'll make it She's the best thing that you'll ever have She'll love you, if you love her like that
yourinstagram
📍 Bahrain International Circuit, Bahrain
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yourinstagram Tell a friend, to tell a friend...WE'RE BACKKKK!!!!!!!!
Unknown1 Pierre and Y/N are my roman empire
Unknown2 We've been waiting far too long for this...
WaGsF1 The 'IT' couple are backk!
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“-fuck!” Pierre shouts as he pulls his helmet off, he crosses the garage not sparing you a glance. He had collided with Alonso on the first corner, suffering too much damage so they had to retire the car. Honestly, a rookie mistake. But any little thing always caused Pierre to spiral. You gave him a few moments to calm down before you left your seat and headed towards his driver's room. As you walked in his race suit was strewn over the couch, fireproofs on the floor and boxers by the bathroom door. The sound of the shower was the giveaway.
You picked up his clothes, putting them into the laundry bag in the corner. He came out a few moments later, towel wrapped around his waist.
“I don’t know why I bother anymore,” He says to you as he uses another towel to dry his hair. “I’m not fucking good enough, this is my 7th season, I should not be making stupid mistakes like that,” He adds, collapsing onto the couch next to you.
“You are good enough Pierre, they wouldn’t have signed you if they didn’t think so,” You remind him. 
“There were so many other people that should have gotten the seat…Doohan, Pourchaire, Martins? They’d all be doing a better fucking job than I am,” He says and you lean back against the couch, your fingers moving to thread themselves between Pierre’s damp hair.
“It’s only the first race of the season…you’re not completely comfortable with the car yet. It’s fine Pierre, it happens. But you are good enough and you do deserve to be here,” You assure him.
Kiss her with passion as much as you can
You were sitting in the back of his garage, headset on as you listened to the engineer chatter, you had always been interested in that kind of thing so any opportunity you get to listen in, you always take. Pierre was also in on the conversation, standing with the group of engineers. They were wrapping up the conversation when He came over to you, pulling the headset down and letting it hang around your neck. His finger moved under your shin and he pulled you into a slow and loving kiss.
“What was that for?” You ask breathlessly a few moments after he pulled away.
“-because you’re beautiful” He replies and you blush. He presses a final kiss to your forehead before he starts to put in his ear plugs and pull his balaclava on. A wide smile on his face as he walks away from you.
And when she doesn't notice how pretty she is Tell her over and over so she never forgets
The summer break could not have come soon enough, despite Pierre’s rocky start to the season He had managed to claw his way back, now sitting comfortably in 3rd in the drivers championship. To say it was his best season yet would be an understatement. But.  All of that meant the pressure was on, and you were both starting to feel it. It was a unanimous decision that you needed a vacation and Bali was always a good idea. The flights had been booked only a few hours after the decision had been made, and ever since then you had been counting down the days.
“Are you sure this looks ok?” You ask Pierre as you get ready for a day at the beach. “You don’t think it's showing off a little bit too much?” You add as you look at yourself in the mirror. The dark green bikini you had chosen left very little to the imagination.
“Cherie you look stunning, you look beautiful in everything you wear” He assured you, coming up behind you and resting his head on your shoulder. “It’s Bali cherie, I guarantee there will be people wearing much less than you, right?” He asks, snaking his arms around your waist. “I think you look hot, and that’s all that matters,” He says as he starts to kiss your neck.
Take it If she gives you her heart, don't you break it Let your arms be a place she feels safe in
yourinstagram
📍 Bali, Indonesia
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yourinstagram When in doubt, go to Bali
Unknown4 That bikini is certainly brave...
Unknown5 God I wish i was them...
Unknown6 That is much more of y/n then anyone needs to see
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“I told you I shouldn’t have worn it…have you seen the comments? Pierre, look at them,” You say to him as you hold your phone up
“They’re just jealous cherie, you looked stunning…besides, it doesn’t matter what they think does it?” He asks, taking your phone, it's quickly turned off and placed on the coffee table.
“No…” You answer as he sits down on the couch next to you
“Exactly, come here,” He says pulling you into his arms, he knew that the comments got to you sometimes, and that all he could do was reassure you that they don’t mean anything.
On days when It feels like the whole world might cave in Stand side by side and you'll make it
yourinstagram
📍 Singapore
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yourinstagram Race day in the Lion city!
PierreGasly Doing this one for you mon amour <3
-- yourinstagram Good luck darling <3
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You felt like the word was standing still, time had slowed, your breath catching in your throat.
No.
No.
No.
This couldn’t be happening. Pierre had lost control, the power steering had gone and his brakes had failed. There was nothing you could do except watch as his car hurtled along the track, spinning as it hit the barrier, being flown up and into the air when it hit the curb at the wrong angle; finally coming to a stop in the tire barrier.
Where was he?
The car was a smoking wreck, why wasn’t he out by now? You could hear the faint sounds of his race engineer trying to contact him but everyone in the garage knew that would be a lost cause. Then, suddenly, almost as quickly as it had all started, there were flames. Bright, hot, burning flames exploding from the rear of the car. Your hand clutched over your mouth as you had tried to look away, Pierre’s trainer spotted you and tried to lead you away into his drivers room, but you just couldn't take your eyes off of the screen.
Why wasn’t he out?
The red flags flew the moment He had hit the barrier so half the crew were supposed to be more concerned with Esteban’s car but nobody was. They were all fixed in place, unable to move as their eyes were glued to the screens. Marshalls sprinted towards the burning wreck, fire extinguishers in hand as they started to spray down the car. You saw him. Or at least you thought they did. A hand. There it was again. Waving. One of the marshalls ran forwards, spraying the area around him. You could just about make out Pierre trying desperately to pull himself out of the cockpit. Eventually the marshalls had thrown their fire extinguishers down and went in, both of them physically pulling Pierre out.
The screens cut away.
You let Ben take you out of the garage towards a quieter area where you could try and compose yourself. “Charles is outside asking for you,” One of the media personnel said after knocking on the door. You wiped the tears from your eyes and headed out. As soon as he saw you, He quickly wrapped his arms around you and you broke down again.
She's the best thing that you'll ever have She'll love you, if you love her like that
It had been three weeks of the same. Arriving at the hospital at 9am, just as visiting time started, leaving at 9pm, just as visiting time ended. And despite how much you hated it, you refused to be anywhere else. He had remained unconscious for the first couple of days, those had been the hardest. Not knowing if he was going to wake up, His crash had been measured at 132G, nobody expected him to. But he did.
“Y-,” He muttered, softly moving his head. “Y-,” He said again, this time catching your attention. You rushed to his side, taking his hand in yours.
“I’m right here Pierre, I’ve got you,” You say, tears rolling down your face as he faintly squeezed your hand. As you held his hand you called for the doctor, having been asked to if he woke up. They assessed him as you sat there, Pierre was very reactive to any movement you made; squeezing your hand as you shifted positions, begging you not to leave his side.
She'll love you If you love her like that
After three long weeks in a Singaporean hospital it was finally agreed that Pierre could be moved to a hospital in Paris, much closer to all of his family; you had spent another three weeks in there as Pierre underwent different operations on his legs. They had become trapped between different parts of carbon fibre and metal during the crash; the base of his spine also having been damaged. That was why He couldn’t get out. 
The Hospital in Paris knew Pierre was itching to get out, that was evident to anyone that came to visit him. They released him pretty quickly and after six weeks in hospitals Pierre was finally free to go. Though he was nowhere near full health. He was in a wheelchair, unable to walk by himself. So one of the conditions of him being discharged was that you would find a place together in Paris, close to the hospital so He could attend all of his check-ups and rehab appointments.
By the second week Pierre was ready to give up. “Why are you still here?” He asked you one morning as you helped him get dressed. You knew he hated this, not being able to do things for himself.
“Because I love you,” You assured him as you handed him a shirt. Any ounce of independence he could have, you made sure to give him.
“There are many better men for you cherie, none of them need help getting dressed in the mornings. You don’t deserve this,” He said, and this wasn’t the first time He had shared this sentiment with you.
“But none of them are you, my love,” You reminded him. “I wouldn’t be doing this for anyone other than you,” You add as you put his feet through the legs of his trousers.
“T-thank you,” He says, voice faltering as you pull his trousers up his legs and over his ass.
“I’ve got you and I’ll always have you, I promise,” You say, pressing a kiss to his lips as you grab his wheelchair. Thankfully, that was the one thing He had gotten used to quickly, transferring himself in and out of the wheelchair, as that was probably the only thing you couldn’t have done.
She'll love you If you love her
He hated it, and you weren’t surprised. At the moment his sessions were only an hour long as He got tired and frustrated very quickly. You totally understood everything that was going on inside his mind. He had gone from being one of the fastest men alive to barely being able to take two steps without assistance.
Pierre had always said that He wanted you with him every step of the way, and when you promised that you would be, you really meant it. If that meant sitting in a chair on the far end of the room, so be it. He didn’t want you to help him, encourage him or anything. He hated showing you how weak he was. But you both knew He needed you there.
There were two long beams that he rested his arms onto as He tried to put one foot in front of the other. His physical therapist and rehab assistant had both assured Pierre that he had come on leaps and bounds since He first came through the door. Back then he was unable to stand up without help, but now he could get out of the wheelchair and lift himself up to hold the bars
She'll love you If you love her
You were sitting in the kitchen of your parisian apartment, working on your laptop as Pierre took a nap after his PT appointment. They always took everything out of him so the first thing He wanted to do was go to sleep. The apartment had been quiet for a few hours until you heard a crash from the bedroom. You instantly bolted from your seat and ran towards the sound; you found Pierre on the floor in the bathroom.
“-merde,” He swore as He tried to get back up. You went to help him but He pushed you away. “I don’t need your help,” He said through gritted teeth as he tried to stand back up.
“Just slow down and take a breath,” You said, repeating the words his physio had been telling him for months. He was always trying to do things at 100mph when he wasn’t capable. “Let me help you,” You say softly as you crouch down to him.
“I am so fucking fed up of slowing down,” He says and you nod, he had also been saying that for months.
“I know you are darling, but you’ll only hurt yourself more if you don’t,” You tell him as you offer your arm to him so he can stand back up. You knew why he had fallen, there was a slight lip on the doorframe to the bathroom that you had stubbed your toe on a few times, neither of you had noticed it when viewing the apartment and Pierre now had the tendency to drag his feet a little so it was bound to happen at some point.
She'll love you If you love her
Pierregasly
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PierreGasly The last 12 months have been tough. From being bed-bound to being able to take a few steps was a huge challenge; but we keep pushing forwards 👊
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The rest of the evening had been quiet, you cooked dinner for the both of you, Pierre silently taking his and eating in the study. That had been his one fault. He hated making mistakes; so tripping and falling like he did was a massive blow to his ego and dignity. He was already fast asleep by the time you went to bed, facing away from you so you just left him to it. 
When you woke up you realised he wasn’t there, feeling his side of the bed you found a small yellow post-it note.
‘Don’t move, i want to surprise you and make up for yesterday
-P x
You did exactly what the note said and stayed in bed, picking up your phone and answering some messages you had gotten; about 15 minutes later the bedroom door opened, Pierre came in holding a plate and a mug. He carefully placed the mug down on the bedside table before passing you the plate that had fresh berries and pancakes on. “You didn’t have to,” You say, taking a bite and you instantly recognise that this was his own pancake recipe he used to make for you all the time.
“Yes I did,” He says, pinching a blueberry off of the side of the plate. “I shouldn’t have gotten angry at you, you were only trying to help,” He says with a regretful look on his face.
“You’re still entitled to your feelings Pierre,” You remind him and He nods.
“I know I am, but that shouldn’t be at your expense, I’m sorry,” He says and you pull him into a soft kiss. 
On days when It feels like the whole world might cave in Stand side by side and you'll make it
The video starts to play, Pierre stands up from a chair across the room, walking towards the camera slowly, still slightly wobbly on his feet. “Hi Everybody, Pierre here. I know I’ve been very quiet on social media over the past eighteen months or so since the crash and that’s because I've really been focused on my recovery and the long process of learning to walk again. I wanted to tell you all what happened and that primarily, I’m ok. During the accident both my legs became trapped and I also shattered two of my lower vertebrae; that left me, for the first six months, totally paralysed from the waist down. I cannot even begin to express my gratitude to my physio team who have done everything they can to get me into the position I'm in today,” He says before there is a short montage of photos showing Pierre in hospital, then in the first few stages of physiotherapy of him learning how to stand up by himself. 
“I know that my journey is far from over, I’ve still got pins in my legs from where they were crushed, and only after they have been removed should I begin the road to full mobility. Whilst I've been recovering Formula One has been incredible in assisting with finding me the correct doctors to suit my injuries and keeping the door open to future plans. Y/N’s been quietly active on social media and has told me of quite a few tweets and comments about my possible return to racing and I want to clear things up. I hold absolutely nothing against Alpine, Formula One or the FIA about my accident, as it was exactly that. An accident, there was an investigation and there was nothing anybody could have done. However this does not mean I am ready or willing to return to racing; I have no plans to return to racing in the future, I feel I need to be investing more into my personal life, thanking those who have stood by me over the past two years. Y/N and I got engaged during that time so we are in the middle of wedding preparations and we could not be happier.” He continues before it cuts to more photos of the final stages of his PT and then the video of him proposing, He was still on crutches at the time and was unable to kneel but the sentiment was still there. “-And finally I want to thank all of you guys, my fans, all of your kind comments and messages are read and they really help me to get through those tough days. I probably won’t be very active on social media going forward so for now; thank you, and goodbye,” He says with a wide smile.
She's the best thing that you'll ever have She'll love you, if you love her like that
yourinstagram and PierreGasly
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yourinstagram Mr and Mrs Gasly - 23/8/2026
PierreGasly Cant forget about Pedro! 🐶
-- yourinstagram Never!
a few years later...
“Pierre,” The interviewer started. “We are now 5 years on from your near-fatal accident, how are you doing?” She asks. The studio hadn’t changed since the last time he was filming here during his career in F1.
“I’m doing really well; I’m back to pretty much full mobility, a little stiff here and there but my wife says that's just because i’m getting old,” He says with a laugh, you roll your eyes from behind the camera.
“We all saw the photos that she posted a few weeks ago, updating your fans on your life at the moment. Tell me about that, you always hear the horror stories of partners leaving because they couldn’t cope. How much does it mean to you that She stayed?” She asked as you were slightly taken aback…that wasn’t one of the prepared questions.
“It means everything to me…there were times during my recovery where I would tell her to go, to leave me and that she didn’t deserve this. But she stayed, and I don’t think leaving was ever an option in her mind. I owe her everything and I will spend the rest of my life trying to show her how thankful I am.” Pierre answers honestly, not looking at the interviewer, but looking behind her at you as He spoke.
“I love you,” You mouth back, aware you weren’t allowed to talk out loud but he heard you, loud and clear.
“I mean you guys were the ‘it’ couple in the paddock before the accident…now i think the entire paddock is jealous of the love the both of you share, it really is beautiful to watch you two,” She tells you both. 
“Have we got an extra chair?” He asks, looking over at the producers. One of the crew quickly moves a spare chair next to Pierre who stands up, holding out his hand to you. “Come join us…this is just as much your story as it is mine Cherie, I wouldn’t be here without you,” He reminds you as you cross the set to him. He presses a kiss to your forehead before you both take your seats.
finite
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muddyorbsblr · 10 months ago
Text
would've could've should've pt2
See my full list of works here!
Part of the 500 Follower Celebration Requested by: Anonymous
Summary: You and Loki attend an alumni event at your college, hiding in plain sight while on a mission to retrieve information about HYDRA experiments within campus; you cross paths with someone from your past.
Word Count: 6.5k [pace yourself; keep water on standby]
Warnings (spoilers ahead but also you need these): 18+ | heavy themes (retraumatizing; emotional trauma from past relationship; past relationship with severe power imbalance; past relationship involving severely predatory behavior; implied dubcon mentioned in memories); mentions of human experimentation involving drug-induced mental and emotional subjugation; angst; Tony's a-hole tendencies; language [let me know if I missed anything and I'll change it immediately]
Things to be aware of: established relationship; keep the song this is titled after in mind especially "I damn sure never would've danced with the devil at 19"
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There'd been a tension between you and Loki ever since that movie night gone wrong where his brother let slip that he was frustrated in his current relationship. At least where physical contact was concerned, or lack thereof. Thor even went so far as to insinuate that Loki doubted his girlfriend even loved him if she wasn't even willing to share her body with him.
The unease was driving the god to the brink of madness, every part of him shaking with the urge to pull you into a room and beg you to tell him what he could do to make things better. He would do just about anything for you, and it pained him to realize that you didn't actually know that.
Perhaps with this new mission that you two were being sent off to, you two could have some much needed time together away from all the noise. And especially away from his brother that thought he knew what was best for him. Thor didn't know a damned thing.
You were best for him. He just needed to be leagues better in showing you that so you could know it as well as he did.
And even though the destination wasn't all that romantic, the god still had a good few tricks up his sleeve that could help him make do with what he had.
"Y/N, quick question about lodging arrangements for your mission with Laufeyson." Loki immediately tuned out all of the other noise around him to listen in on your conversation with the worker from Operations & Logistics. One of the perks he'd found from his Jotun heritage: the enhanced senses that allowed him to eavesdrop even from across the rather spacious room.
"I don't care about the view, Kristy, just stick us wherever," you spoke around the cookie you were munching on.
"Oh, no it's not about the view. You two are booked for a suite, so you'll have a fantastic view of the Hills regardless. Maybe even the Hollywood sign!" She bounded in her spot slightly, clearly excited as she imagined what you'd be seeing from the suite's balcony.
Meanwhile the raven-haired god was already losing himself in the image of sharing some champagne with you, your features illuminated by the city lights. Perhaps stealing multiple kisses through the night.
"I was wondering about the uhh…bedroom arrangements? You want one bedroom or two?"
He was about to speak up, nearly shouting that you only needed a single room with a single bed before you answered, not a single part of you betraying your image of calm consideration. "Two." A pit formed in his stomach as your eyes didn't even dart to steal a glance at him.
"You sure about that, jellybean?" Stark butted in, looking up from his seat at a nearby table with his daughter. "You're supposed to be masquerading as a couple all happy in love and shit."
"Uh huh, sure. In public."
"Alright then. Scenario." He leaned forward on his seat, pointing his writing instrument at you. "Say someone sees you while you're out on the streets, takes an interest in getting photographs of you. You're in Los Angeles, paparazzi's a dime a dozen and some of them know how much pictures of Avengers sell, especially if they look like they're dating. Say our hypothetical pap friend has a telephoto lens that can see into your suite and sees you going into separate rooms. What then?"
You didn't even take a moment to think it over. Instead shrugging and answering him in a perfectly laid back tone, "Couples fight. Paint a smile for the cameras and sleep in separate beds. That's Hollywood, baby."
Loki's pulse thundered in his ears, almost dulling out the way that Stark turned back to his daughter and told her, "You do not ever go to your Auntie Y/N for relationship advice, are we clear?" The little girl only answered her father with a little salute.
Was that what was happening? The tension that ran thick between you two whenever you were so much as in the same breathing space together? Were you fighting?
"Two rooms it is then," the Logistics worker spoke again, tapping away at her tablet before giving both you and Stark a thumbs up, confirming that the reservation had been made.
"Hey, Reindeer Games, jellybean, word of advice? You know, from a friend or colleague or whatever you wanna call me?"
"You're my friend, Stark, I'm Morgan's godmother for fuck's sake," you shot back at the same time that Loki said, "Well an annoyance would be the term I'd use, but go ahead."
"Try to have fun? You're going to your college reunion, Y/N. I'm sure you have some familiar faces you wanna say hi to, reminisce about your random acts of debauchery and dance with like you're 19 again at the club with your fake IDs trying to score some alcohol from the bartender that pretends those cards are legit?" He then turned his focus to Loki. "And you. Try to get some. Unless of course you're still miserably attached to Little Miss Prim and Prissy with a fifty foot pole because she doesn't wanna do the naked tango with you."
"What's a tango?" the smaller Stark queried, looking up from her workbook.
"It's a dance, baby," you answered her, smirking into your drink before you took a sip.
"Naked dancing, Auntie Y/N? I'm confused." The Logistics worker decided to take her leave at this moment, scurrying out of the room with a little nod toward everyone present.
"I know you are, baby." You walked over to her, ruffling her hair before placing a kiss on the top of the little girl's head. "Ask your parents about naked tangos. I'm not gonna be the one to talk to you about the birds and the bees."
"Birds and bees can dance with each other? But isn't a bee too small for a bird?"
"All excellent questions, sweetie." You gave Stark a mischievous look that would have done the god proud had it not been for the knots still sitting heavy in his stomach. "Good luck, Tony. And for the record? I wasn't a party girl in college. Some of us actually had to bury our noses in books and study our way to our degree. We can't all be genius billionaire playboy philanthropists."
"Ah, come on, jellybean, there had to be something you did for fun in college." The way you froze for a fraction of a second didn't go unnoticed by the god, but it seemed to slip past Stark and his daughter all too easily. "Just remember that this shouldn't just be a mission for you, you're gonna be among your old friends. Take a second to...I don't know, mingle. Catch up."
"Stark? The only reason I even agreed to go to the reunion is because of the mission. Our intel found evidence suggesting that HYDRA took over and repurposed a building in my old college and they might be housing volatile maybe even catastrophic kinds of compounds in there, and we're just going for a recon mission. In and out. The only purpose I'd have for mingling is wanting to see who in campus might be involved in the shady shit."
"Fine, whatever floats your boat, Y/L/N. At least go say hi to your old professors, though. Might make their entire year being able to brag to their incoming classes that they once mentored an Avenger back in the day."
For some reason those words from Stark had you freezing up even more, trying to mask it by nodding a little too vigorously before taking a swift leave to the kitchen area, setting your mug down. Loki took that as his opportunity to perhaps have a moment with you before you went off to your apartment for the night. He made his way to you, speaking just barely above a whisper. "Darling, I'm so sorry you had to hear that barb from Stark." His arms ached to simply reach over and pull you into an embrace, the only thing stopping him being the reminder that you both had agreed to keep your current entanglement with one another more private.
But he wanted more than anything to ignore that reminder completely. Especially after looking upon your features and seeing a blank stare of what he horrifyingly recognized as defeat in your eyes.
"It's fine, Mischief," you answered him, your voice monotonous and almost completely devoid of emotion. "He doesn't know he was talking about me. Serves me right anyway. Prim and prissy might as well be tattooed on my forehead."
The god's skin bristled with irritation hearing you repeat the billionaire's words as if you were already accepting of the new unwelcome moniker. "I should have a word with him. Tell him his remarks have the most undesired effect on you. He'll stop, I'm sure of it. Once he knows that it's you. Even be remorseful."
"You tell him and everyone will know," you deadpanned, your face remaining stoic as ever. "He'll tell everyone before the night's over and suddenly what's private isn't so private anymore. Is that what you want?"
He stood silent, staring at you with your blank expression that you'd given him since that disastrous night where Thor made the idiotic remarks that so efficiently drove a wedge between you two. A wedge he somehow didn't know how to dislodge. "I…I simply want for us to be okay."
His heart splintered seeing you give him something between a grimace and a small smile, shrugging before answering in the same flat tone, "Then we're okay."
Then why does it feel as if you're pushing me farther and farther away with every passing day? he wanted to ask you, the words weighing heavy on his tongue as he watched you walk away, back to your apartment. Why does it feel like I've lost you?
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The level of guardedness you displayed ever since you stepped foot on your old campus put Loki on high alert. You always exhibited a calculated caution in missions, but this seemed beyond that. There was nothing in your stance that implied your readiness to fight and defend yourself, but rather there was a fear.
A readiness to run. To disappear.
Your shivering in his hold did nothing to convince him of any other explanation. Being here elicited a fear in you that he couldn't comprehend. As if there were ghosts from your past lurking in the shadowy corners of the dimly lit gymnasium.
"Oh my gosh, is that…Y/N?" a high-pitched voice shrieked over the thumping stereo, coming from a rather bubbly looking woman that was bounding toward you, arms outstretched with a wide beaming grin on her face. "I haven't seen you since graduation! Our old profs just can't stop talking about you and how proud they are that they taught an Avenger, they're hoping they get to see you tonight. Get a picture or two." She then turned her attention to Loki, jaw on the floor when he saw his arm gently wrapped around you. "Are you two--?!"
"Ohh! Uhm…no." You worked your way out of Loki's hold to give the woman a friendly embrace before turning back to face him. "Loki, this is Bianca, we shared a good number of classes together. Bianca, this is Loki, my uhh--" Your voice caught in your throat trying to find a word to describe the god.
I'm yours, little mortal. Plain and simple, he wanted to tell you, regardless of present company.
"We work together," you told her, the words worsening the sinking feeling that he had in his stomach. "Work's been a little slow lately so Stark assigned me to show him around and expose him to what a former college girl's life is like."
"College girl? You?" The woman burst into a fit of giggles. "Y/N you were many things when we roamed these halls, but you were more a mini professor than anything. I never once even saw you step foot at a frat party or a club…you were always just hanging out with--"
"You know what, you're absolutely right," you cut her off, your voice louder than normal even with the thumping music surrounding you all. "Loki, maybe you'd be better suited to learn from my old friends. Go off with Bianca, she and the other girls can't possibly steer you wrong."
The god's blood ran cold as your words hit him. He felt as if you were steering him away from you for more than just this moment. As if your sentiment held a poorly veiled secondary sentiment, pushing him away from you so that he could pursue someone else with your blessing.
He did his best to put on a casual smile, to politely decline your offering of your old campus friend. "I accompanied you to learn from you, little mortal," he spoke over the music, reaching for your hand and lacing his fingers between yours. "I wish to stay with you. You cannot rid yourself of me that easily."
"I'm not ridding myself of you, Mischief," you shot back, your friend's eyes darting rapidly between the two of you before slowly stepping away. "It's more of the other way around. We both know that I'm holding you back, so here's your exit--"
"I don't want an exit, Y/N, I want you," he insisted through gritted teeth, fighting every urge to lead you both into a more secluded corner so you could talk this out without having to shout just so you could hear each other. "I wish to be with you, regardless of--"
"Well as I live and breathe, that's a face I didn't think I'd see again." Your eyes widened hearing the voice of the man that approached you next, your pulse beating so furiously that Loki could see it pumping against your neck.
This was definitely not one of your former classmates. The man was middle-aged, his hair obviously colored to mask the silver that was peeking through at the roots as well as his eyebrows. He did what he could to dress himself in line with what was considered stylish but so clearly missed the mark. And emphasizing his age further was the clearly decades younger woman he had as his companion, looking as if she belonged in his classroom rather than in his bedroom.
"Prof--Professor Richardson," you stammered, the breathy almost fearful tone in your voice immediately putting the god on high alert. "Bianca m-mentioned you and the other guys were here tonight."
"Oh, come on Y/N it's been years since you had yourself folded into those awkward armchairs, there's no need to be so formal with me. Please, call me Simon. In fact, I should probably be a touch more formal with you, considering that one of my favorite students is now my favorite Avenger." His eyes quickly darted to the god's. "No offense, dude. You're pretty great, too. There's just something about those spandex suits, you know?"
You gripped Loki's hand tighter for a fraction of a second as the man's eyes roamed your form unabashedly, the spiteful jealousy from his companion written all over her face.
He didn't wait for you to introduce him again as someone you simply 'worked with', choosing to speak up to hopefully soothe your very obvious unease. "I must agree with you there, Y/N quite a remarkable agent." He extended his hand out toward your professor. "I'm Loki. Y/N's boyfriend."
Your breath caught in your throat in a strangled sound at the word, looking up at the god with wide eyes before trying to compose yourself again. Before you could speak, however, Simon did.
"Well if she's as remarkable a girlfriend as she was a student, then you have yourself a real catch right here. You're quite the lucky man--god, I mean." The woman next to him cleared her throat conspicuously loudly, the tail end of it sounding more like a muffled shriek, calling Simon's attention to her. He eyed her with a bit of irritation before turning back to you. "Oh where are my manners? This is Deena. I'm her thesis advisor for her graduating year."
"Oh…that's…" You were quite clearly struggling to form words. You addressed the student instead, your eyes quickly darting to the way she gripped her professor's arm so tightly before looking back at her. "Wow. You're quite the lucky young lady. Professor Richardson mentioned back then that he rarely took on the role of advisor. I'm sure your proposal was nothing short of remarkable."
The student offered you a tight smile in response, opening her mouth to speak before your former professor perked up again. "In all these years, nobody still quite measures up to you, though, Miss Y/L/N. Oh, sorry. Agent Y/L/N." He shifted his gaze to address the god once more. "It was a bleak day when I had to give her her final grade for her final course with me."
He reached his hand out toward you which you took with a slight tremor in your fingers. Loki way too easily heard the gasp that slipped out of you when Simon took your hand in both of his, pressing a lingering kiss to the back of your fingers.
"I hope to see you around some more while you're in town, Y/N." The way he rolled the syllables of your name, like he was savoring a taste on his tongue, didn't sight right with the Asgardian. He was the only one that could speak your name like that. At least…he hoped he still could.
"Yeah…s-sure," you mumbled, jerking your hand out of the professor's hand, subtly wiping the back of it on your skirt when you smoothed your hands over your dress. "En--Enjoy the rest of your night, Simon. Deena." You nodded your head at both of them before walking away abruptly, inadvertently towing Loki behind you.
As you put more distance between you and your former professor, the god heard a muffled sentiment from Simon to his companion. "Of course not, sweet thing, you know you're the only one for me."
There weren't many things that could catch the god off guard, but hearing those words from your former professor sent a slight chill down his spine, the confirmation of his initial suspicions written in black and white. Making him wonder now what your true history with the man that put both of you at a state of unease was.
"Darling, are you alright?" He held you closer to him as the crowd became denser, too many people surrounding you and pushing against you as you moved. "You're cold."
"I'm fine." He could barely hear you over the speakers. "I just need some air, I can barely hear myself think in here."
He didn't need to be told twice; this type of environment wasn't agreeable with him, either. Once you'd both stepped through the doors of the gymnasium and the air no longer tasted of alcohol and sweat, he pulled you into his arms, pressing a soft kiss to your forehead.
"What was that for?" you breathed out, the dazed tone of your voice making him hold you just a touch tighter.
He hadn't the full picture of what had your fight or flight kicking in to an extent he'd never seen on you before, but he held faith that when you were ready, you would tell him. For now, he would do what he could to at least ease your discomfort.
"Can I not simply wish to hold you, my love?"
You briefly wrapped your arms around him, returning his embrace before you took a step away from him, smoothing your hands over your dress once more. "Come on. I wanna find the lab and be done with this mission. Get back to New York sooner rather than later and all that."
His heart splintered even worse in his chest, his suspicion that your stepping away from him was more than simply physical now. That the last fortnight that he'd spent sleeping in his own apartment devoid of the simplest pleasure of having you in his arms as he slept through the night would be how he'd be spending the rest of his nights moving forward. He was at a loss for what he could do to somehow amend your relationship moving forward short of locking you both in a room and offering an ultimatum.
Tell him how he could fix the rift that was caused by Thor's callous words, or tell him that what he feared had finally found its way into your reality. Tell him that there was nothing he could do to mend the damage and that things were truly over between you.
"As you wish, little mortal."
You led him through a search that was guised as an inebriated tour through your alma mater, going through each building with information that you'd either gathered there from firsthand experience from your college years, or from information you amassed looking through testimonials of various alumni.
"Ooh! Come on, I wanna show you something that might just make you proud." You made an entire performance of stumbling toward the god and reaching for his hand, guiding him with carefully choreographed steps backwards with a few planned near slip-ups where you seemed to trip on air and almost fall bum first onto the floor before catching yourself at the last second.
"Don't you know well enough by now, darling, that you constantly impress me?" he shot back at you with a chuckle, fighting every urge to lose himself in the ruse you were both putting on. He wanted more than anything to have this be akin to those films that your fellow teammates were so fond of watching, where the couple would find an empty classroom and proceed to kiss and paw at each other like animals in heat.
He'd found those scenarios so trite before, but he found himself admitting that he was more than open to the idea if the opportunity presented itself with you. He would be willing to do just about anything with you at his side.
"Come on, Mischief," you sing-songed, giggling your way to the heart of one of the buildings dedicated for the science-centric curriculum. "I'm taking to to the lab where we used to brew our own beer. Mix our own booze. You're gonna love it, it's like we were witches brewing potions in here--"
You play-acted your way to stumbling through the double doors of the laboratory, only to be met with resistance and the visual of a thick chain wrapped around the door handles. Immediately you righted your stance, the god signaling to you that he'd taken care of the security cameras. He'd chosen to feed them footage of the two of you indulging in one of those slightly risqué scenarios in the corridor.
With a wave of his hand, the chains materialized on the floor by Loki's feet, and you pushed the doors open to reveal exactly what you'd been looking for. The tables were littered with documents and notes that were watermarked with HYDRA's sigil, each designated work station housing its own compound that when put in the wrong hands, could be utilized in the most sadistic manners.
You went on to look into the filing cabinets that held more research reports while he rounded the table that held the compound surrounded by the most amount of notes scribbled on to the logo-branded papers. He felt the bile rising steadily up his throat at the findings.
Subjects that are exposed to this compound even in its aerated form will feel an intense emotional attachment to the closest set of pheromones within their vicinity, enslaving them to the holder for an indeterminate amount of time. Potency strengthens if the compound is ingested. Theoretically catastrophic potency if somehow introduced directly into subject's bloodstream. Effects inconclusive if holder severs the emotional attachment before the compound has had a chance to be flushed from subject's system, but theoretically, the more potent the remaining dosage that is yet to be metabolized, the more catastrophic the aftermath.
"Darling, they might be experimenting on these students," Loki said grimly, rushing over to you the moment he spotted how much paler your knuckles became from how hard you were gripping the countertop. "What's wrong?"
"There are reports dating back to before you even got to Earth," you told him, the shakiness of your tone at its worst as you tried to speak through the tears bubbling up inside you. "Back to when I was still here."
He thumbed through the report that you were perusing and had to fight every urge to set fire to the entire operation and lay waste to the names that he'd found on the user tests. The most frequent one being the man that he had the displeasure of meeting earlier, Simon Richardson. "These other names, were they your other professors?" You only nodded. He didn't know whether to be relieved or even more horrified realizing that the subject names were kept confidential, hidden under monikers such as "Subject 12-29-A", "Subject 12-29-B" and so forth.
"I think the first number's the year. 12 is 2012. And the second number might be a batch number." You took a few deep breaths before straightening your stance and looking for the nearest computer, fiddling with the comms bracelet that Shuri had equipped you with before you left New York. "Shuri, are you there?"
"I am here, I am here. How is the college party? I have never actually been to one since--"
"Since you're so smart you should probably be teaching these classes, I know I know." A bit of your liveliness came back speaking with the young genius. Loki could even hear a slight smile in your voice. "Could you pull off a remote duplication? I wanna get these experimentation reports to you guys so that we can already start on next moves before Laufeyson and I even get back to New York."
"Does the sun rise in the East, my friend?" The Wakandan princess began to laugh from her end of the call, the sound filling the room. "Put your bracelet near the device and let me do my magic." You did as she instructed, holding your wrist near the computer's power source and a few short moments later, she spoke again. "All done. We will see you when you get back."
"Thanks, Shuri. We'll wrap it up here. I'll see you guys in the morning."
As you shut off your comms and both of you proceeded to place things back exactly where you found them, ensuring that you lessened your chances of HYDRA suspecting anyone had rifled through their research, there was yet another thought that led to a pit forming in Loki's stomach.
What if one of the test subjects in those reports was you?
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Loki laid awake, restless, in bed since you both got back to your suite, doing his best to somehow induce slumber upon himself so that he wouldn't have to fight against his mind wandering back to those reports, wondering if one of the subjects that was detailed within those pages could be referring to you. As well as fighting against the parts of him that feared you were pushing him away, forcing his hand into letting you go even if that was the last thing he would ever wish to do.
He had to make a note to give that oaf Thor a swift stab for so thoroughly jeopardizing what could have possibly been the best thing to happen to him. He was more than content with you, he was happy. He could picture what a future with you would be like.
And yes, it would be nice if your relationship would have a physical aspect to it, but that was no dealbreaker for the god. He didn't need it right this second, and for you, he would wait until you reached that level of comfort with him. At your own pace.
He would wait. Even if it meant he waited forever.
Yet here you both were now, sleeping in separate beds in separate rooms all because you believed that he would be better off with someone who had no compunctions on disrobing with him at a moment's notice. He could already feel you slipping away despite how desperately he tried to hold on to you.
The sound of your unrest had him sitting up on his bed, a series of whimpers and cries being heard from your bedroom. What got him darting out and bursting through your door, however, was your scream of "Please no I've been good to you! Why would you do this to me?!"
In a heartbeat he was by your side, cradling you against his chest and trying to wake you from your nightmare. "Shh shh, little mortal, you're safe, please wake up."
"I never told a soul I don't even look at you when there's other people please don't leave me," you kept whimpering, your words hitting the god like bullets straight to his heart. Were you having a nightmare about him?
"I'm here, my love, please. I'm not going anywhere just please wake up," he pleaded desperately, rubbing his hand up and down your back as he pressed multiple kisses to your templed. "I'm here I'll never leave you. Please darling, I love you."
You finally began to breathe a bit slower in his arms, moving so that you were looking up at him with red-rimmed eyes. "Loki?"
Had he been on his feet, the sight of you so distraught would have brought the god to his knees. "Oh my sweet mortal." He cupped your face, wiping your tears away before he pressed a kiss between your brows. He wordlessly maneuvered you into his arms so that he could carry you out of bed and into the kitchen area, fetching you a glass of water.
"I can't--" You sounded as if you were trying to speak through a lump in your throat, more tears falling from your eyes. "I can't talk about--"
"No, darling, it's alright." He placed his hands on your shoulders, trying to guide you into evening out your breaths. "You don't need to tell me anything you're not ready to."
"I want to," you insisted, keeping your eyes glued to the floor, refusing to meet his gaze. "I just--I can't bring myself to say the words, but I need you to know…why. Why I can't--" You cut off with a squeak, gripping the sides of your stool so tightly he feared the metal would start hurting you, so he took them into his hands instead. "Why I can't be with you…physically."
"Darling, please I've told you I don't need--"
"No, you should know. I…I need you to know. I just can't…articulate the words." You started breathing the same way that you would when you would run with the rest of the team, as if your body was compensating for lack of oxygen the best it could. Or as if you were preparing yourself for something particularly uncomfortable. "But I can show you."
"Y/N what are you--"
"I want you to look into my memories. I want you to see. And understand what I can't tell you with words."
He framed your face with his hands, urging you to look at him before he followed through with your request. "Are you absolutely certain, my love?" You just stared at him with your red-rimmed tear-stricken eyes, the surrender and pain in them breaking his heart more than your stoic monotonous attitude from the past weeks ever could. He pressed another kiss to your forehead. "Alright."
He pulled up a seat close to yours, bracing himself for what he would find once he entered your memories. He was terrifyingly right to have done so, because the moment he was hit with the torrents of memories, he would have been brought to his knees had he been upright.
You're such a bright young lady. Such a shame that your peers refuse to see that. How about we grab a cup of coffee? Enjoy it in the faculty area? It'll be way more comfortable than sitting on the floor for the next three hours.
I was supposed to have dinner with some of the other professors but the weather in their area has them stuck at home. Would you like to join me instead? It'd be a shame for the reservation to go to waste.
Loki had to fight back the urge to retch as the visual of Simon Richardson leaning in to kiss you hit him next. And the distant attitude that he extended to you the following day on campus as you crossed paths in the hallway.
It won't be wise for us to be seen together or else people are going to start suspecting something going on. I'll get into trouble, just because we love each other. Of course I love you, silly sweet thing, you're the only one I've ever felt this way for.
He saw multiple occurrences of the professor dropping your hand the second someone even unfamiliar to either of you rounded the corner, a guilt eating away at him as he realized he'd done the same thing with you. He simply didn't want you to have to be exposed to the judgment from the team for being involved with him.
Nobody can know. It has to be our little secret. You understand, don't you? How about we go away somewhere for the weekend? Just you and me? Somewhere where we can actually be a couple. Do couple things. We could walk around and hold hands without being scared of getting caught. I could kiss you whenever and wherever. We could just be…us.
Loki wanted more than anything to look away from the memories of your first night with Richardson. From the way that he was so careless with your body, so ignorant of your pleasure and yet he mumbled empty sentiments of love all throughout the night, insisting that he loved you despite his eyes staying empty. Calculating.
And just a few short weeks after that, and a few more nights spent at his place, you went to campus one morning. And he'd begun to go out for coffee with another student. Someone from the batch of freshmen that had just come in. Your messages went unanswered, your calls were met with the generic voice message prompt.
He discarded you once he had what he desired from you, and foolishly concluded that he could do better.
As if there was anyone better.
When he opened his eyes, his vision was blurred from his own tears, the guilt steadily wearing him down as your explanation hit him as if they were bricks being catapulted his way. Was this the reason you were so hesitant to share his bed? You were afraid that once he claimed your body, he would replace you with another?
Your words from two weeks ago haunted him. If you want to be with someone else, just promise me you'll tell me and leave me first.
"My love," he choked, pulling you into a tight embrace. "I could never do something so vile. Not to you. Never to you. I'm so sorry."
"It's fine," you answered weakly, your sniffles breaking him even more. "You didn't know." You made a motion to move out of his arms, the fear seeping into him again that you were going to completely pull away again, making him hold on to your hands tightly. Desperately. "Come on, we have to get some sleep. We're going back to New York in the morning."
"Do you wish to be alone?" He could barely form the words, desperately pleading silently for you to allow him to stay with you tonight.
"No," you confessed, shifting nervously where you stood. "But I don't want you to feel obligated because of what you saw--"
"I won't leave you." The words came out of him in a rush, his lips quivering as he pressed a kiss to your forehead again, trying to calm himself. Trying his best not to march his way back to campus and personally see to it that that wretched excuse of a man not only paid for what he'd done to you, but ensure that he would never do this to another innocent unsuspecting woman ever again.
Trying to remind himself that his need to ensure that you were alright at this moment was greater than his desire to have Simon Richardson's head on a spike.
"You say that now, but we know that one day you're going to be tired of waiting. You have needs--"
"I need you more. I want you more," he insisted, burying his nose in your hair, your presence keeping him grounded. "I promised you I would spend my days proving my devotion to you. I more than intend to keep this promise. I am yours, precious little mortal." He kissed a path to your ear. "All I want at this moment is to stay with you tonight. Let me hold you. Let me try to fight your night terrors away."
It was as if a weight was lifted off his chest when you wordlessly nodded, wrapping your arms around his neck and letting him carry you back to your bedroom.
Loki held you through the night, relieved that you didn't stir in his arms or show any sign that you might have fallen into another nightmare. However, the god was now haunted by a memory of his own. One from the first few days of your relationship.
Darling, I think it best that perhaps…we don't tell the others quite yet that we've become involved. Grant ourselves the privacy that they won't.
His own words echoed in his mind, taunting him of the monumental mistake he'd made asking you to agree to such selfish terms. How he enforced that agreement by committing actions that eerily echoed the very memories that haunted you now.
He remembered the look in your eyes when he uttered those words, asking you to aid him in hiding your relationship away from the rest of the team. When he closed his eyes he could see the crestfallen expression on your face so vividly, making him despise himself for ever causing you to mar your features with that pain you tried to hide from him.
And finally…the realization that gutted him. You never agreed to those terms. All you said in response was "That makes sense".
You simply surrendered.
"I'm so sorry, my darling mortal," he spoke into the darkness, holding you just a fraction tighter, fearing that if he let go even in the slightest, you might slip away from him. "I'll make things better. I will do right by you, I swear it."
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A/N: Lemme just…slide a dagger Loki's way real quick. 😤😤
And lemme offer this as my apology for this chapter…
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I can promise u that Simon will get what's coming to him in the final part of this story. And I can promise that Loki will in fact make things right with his bb 🥺🥺
'everything' taglist: @simplyholl @loopsisloops @imalovernotahater @coldnique @loz-3 @huntress-artemiss @salempoe @vickie5446 @athalialaufeyson @lokiprompts @kats72 @kikster606 @asgards-princess-of-mischief @lokixryss @thomase1 @mischief2sarawr @lovingchoices14 @lunarnights95 @goblingirlsarah @iamlokisgloriouspurpose @creationsbyme @maple-seed @mjsthrillernp @ladyofthestayingpower @mygfloki @sititran @glitterylokislut @ozymdias @fictive-sl0th  @lokidbadguy @mochie85 @silverfire475 @joyful-enchantress @elizabethmidnight2017 @holdmytesseract @smolvenger @gigglingtiggerv2 @lokidokieokie @superficialdomina @kmc1989 @november-rayne @goddessofwonderland @buttercupcookies-blog @peaky-marvel @lokiified @tom-hlover @dryyoursaltyoceantears @cabingrlandrandomcrap
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unhxlyim · 28 days ago
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Stray Kids + casual (fwb)
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fwb!straykids x reader, angst, suggestive. no gender specified for reader (I think??). hyung line. Based on the song ‘Casual’ by Chappell Roan
notes: hi!! This is my first little bit of fan fiction in so long, so I hope you guys like it. I probably got a little carried away but this has been in my drafts for months and months. I’m sorta new into stray kids too so I hope this is okay. Thanks for reading!!
Bangchan:
“I thought you thought of me better; someone you couldn’t lose. You said ‘we’re not together’ so now, when we kiss, I have anger issues.”
It was confusing. The way he kissed you until he couldn’t breathe, how he pushed you up against the kitchen island as you wore his tshirt. This is how you spent most weekends. He’d come over and you’d watch movies together, cook together, catch up on what had happened during the week. And it was confusing as fuck. He’d make you feel so special; bringing you snacks (your favourites, even though you’d never explicitly said which ones you preferred), always cleaning up after you made a meal, truly seeming like he listened to whatever you said and asked about the other people in your life, and the sex. It wasn’t just sex, he put his heart and soul into it. Even in your past relationships, you’d never been taken care of like this before. Most of the time, it was easy to feel like you were dating him because of all this. But this wasn’t a relationship. He told you that himself.
He didn’t remind you of it often but, damn, did he choose his moments to remind you. When you’d watch a rom com and he’d make a comment about ‘wanting something like that in the future’; when you’d tell him about an argument your best friend had with their partner and he’d say ‘see, this is why I don’t date’; when he laid his head in your lap and let you stroke his hair before opening his phone to start texting another girl in front of you. It made you angry in a way that not a lot of other things could but you bit your tongue. If this was how you could keep him, even if it was casual, you’d do that.
“It’s hard being casual when I’m on the phone talking down your sister.”
It was another typical weekend together for the two of you. Doing completely domestic and relationship-y things while being reminded by the clench of your heart and the drop in your stomach that he wasn’t yours. This didn’t stop you from daydreaming about it, only being helped by the fact that you were both chilling watching a film while he spoke to his sister on the phone next to you as he drew patterns on your legs with his fingertips. You had become so entwined in each others’ lives; meeting small amounts of friends and speaking so much about family members, that it wasnt even strange when he turned to you with panic in his eyes and thrust his phone into your hands, “I don’t know what to say to her, she wants to speak to you!” And you had fallen so much that you put the phone to your ear and comforted his sister for the next 30 minutes as she cried to you about some asshole from a dating app that stood her up. All the while, Chan peppered appreciative kisses on your cheeks and played with your hair as he pulled you into his lap. But this was all just ‘casual’.
Lee Know:
“My friends call me a loser cause I’m still hanging around. I’ve heard so many rumours that I’m just a girl that you bang on the couch.”
You loved your friends—you did—but they did not encourage your delusions at all. “With all the love in the world, you’re an idiot…” you dropped your head down onto your hands as they rested on the tabletop, letting out a dramatic sigh, “he’s an asshole. Tell him to take you on a date for once and not just fuck you into his sofa!” Your other friends had heard this spiel before and you were currently going through it again with your best friend as you sat in the corner of the café. You were in no position to argue with her when you thought exactly the same, but you mumbled anyway, “…he does do it pretty good though.”
“Oh I give up!” She threw her hands in the air with mock annoyance (that definitely did not come from a valid place), “I just want him to treat you right. I know you joke but we can all see how much you like him and I’ll be damned if I let him break your heart”. Of course, she was talking about Lee Minho. There was no else she could be talking about, no one else you were currently ‘seeing’ (despite the façade you put on). This situationship was a complicated one and it had been that way for a while. Everyone—well, not everyone—knew you two were sleeping together. But this was college, everyone did that. What they didn’t know was how he was so caring and affectionate towards you during those times. You didn’t dare point that out to your friends though because they would quickly point out (and rightly so) that that affection only extended to sex, but that didn’t fit with the narrative you wanted so you kept your mouth shut on that one.
“I know you worry about me but I’m not stupid, I know we’re not together” you said, almost trying to convince yourself as well as them. Your best friend—the one you’d cried to countless times about him—looked at you with a sad smile on her face, “block his number then, go no contact. If you still want to sleep with him in a few weeks then be my guest, but see what a little bit of space does for you first.” It wasn’t a bad suggestion, even if the thought of not seeing as regularly as you currently did made you feel a little sick. With all your friends around you in agreement, you felt confident enough to pick up the phone and proceed with her request. “Okay, I guess that’s a good idea. How hard could it be?” That was until your phone dinged in your hand, and all your friends whipped their heads towards you. Your best friend started to shake her head but you couldn’t help it, quickly looking down and reading the text in front of you.
minho: u free tonight, babygirl?
You knew you were going to disappoint the friends currently sitting around you but you couldn’t stop yourself from replying within seconds, the plan to block him now completely forgotten.
Changbin:
“I know, ‘Baby, no attachment’ but we’re knee deep in the passenger seat and you’re eating me out. Is it casual now?”
He climbed up your body from where he had been kneeling between your legs in the footwell of his car, wiping the glisten from around his mouth on the back of his hand before he kissed you deeply. Your mind was blurry and your vision was the same, clinging onto his shoulders for dear life as he kissed you more and more feverishly. The passenger seat you were sat in was already reclined all the way back so he was laying on top of you as he kissed down your neck. “Bin…”, you started with no real plan of what you actually wanted to say because his presence always made your mind swim. He chuckled a little and smirked up at you as he carried on kissing your neck, “what’s wrong, baby?” You hated it when he called you that. It made the whole ‘no attachment’ rule so much harder, you could just crumple into his arms and stay there forever. It didn’t help matters that he used that word so liberally, almost like he was testing how attached to him he could make you. “We need to go back, they’re going to wonder where you are”, it was almost 2 in the morning and his flatmates would have definitely noticed he was gone by now. He gripped his hands around your hips, gently flipping you over so you sat on top of him (albeit cramped in the small space of the car). “I don’t care,” he carried on kissing down your bare chest. “I’m not done with you yet”.
When the two of you had these moments, it was hard to imagine that you weren’t together. He let his hands wander as he carried on speaking, roaming down your back and squeezing your ass, “they don’t know about you anyway”. There it was, there was the kicker that brought you back to reality. It always seemed to rear it’s ugly head. You couldn’t remember which one of you suggested this ‘no attachment’ rule and which one of you was stupid enough to agree but, just like your feelings for him, it always reappeared at the most unfortunate moments. Your back got a little straighter, not caring if he could sense the tension in your body, “n-no ‘course”.
“That came out harsher than I meant, I’m sorry”, he tried to run his hand gently across your cheek but you moved away, suddenly very aware that you felt this vulnerable while you sat naked on top of him. This happened from time to time too, the feeling of guilt and filth that washed over you. You knew he didn’t mean to make you feel like this intentionally but, regardless, you felt like his dirty little secret. “I’ve gotta get back anyway, I’ve got work early in the morning.” you mumbled, climbing off his lap and pulled your clothes back on quickly.
He met your eyes as soon as you spoke, slight panic in his own eyes that definitely didn’t match the way he’d so confidently wrapped your thighs around his head not too long before, “Oh…yeah no worries,” that was one thing you appreciated at least, he never argued once this came up. Even though you wanted him to—you wanted him to grab you and kiss you like you dreamed of, declaring his love for you and denouncing this fucking stupid arrangement you had. But that never came, and he always dropped you home, kissing your cheek before you hopped out of the car.
Hyunjin:
“Dumb love, I love being stupid. Dream of us in a year. Maybe we’d have an apartment and you’d show me off to your friends at the pier.”
It wasn’t like you were completely invisible to others in his life but you definitely blended into the background; something Hyunjin could conveniently brush off if one of his friends started asking too many questions. You didn’t go out together much in public (which you had convinced yourself was because of both of your study commitments and definitely not an indication that Hyunjin had commitment issues). This ‘arrangement’ you had going had lasted around five months before you started imagining Hyunjin having a more permanent place in your life; taking you out with his friends, going on day trips, even just having a drink together in a bar.
You weren’t in the same group of friends but your group and his would frequently go to the same parties; you had grown to regret that actually. That’s how you and Hyunjin met, drunk and dancing on each other before he pulled you to an empty bedroom upstairs. And that’s how you ended up standing against the wall, bass boosting in your chest and alcohol sloshing around in your cup, as you stared across the room at Hyunjin flirting with another girl. It wasn’t the first time you’ve had to watch him flirting with someone else at one of these stupid parties, but this time seemed worse for some reason.
Whether it was because he was all over her, because of the fantasies of the two of you running around your head, or because your best friend (who was the only one you had told about this hook-up-turned-situationship) was watching you out of her eye with pity on her face, you’d surprised both of you when you grabbed her hand and pulled her over to the beer pong table where Hyunjin’s friends were drunkenly shouting as they played. “Please don’t let me sleep with him tonight, I fucking hate him”, you said as you looked at her with pleading eyes. You both knew that wasnt entirely true but she nodded and you both promised that you’d stay away from him as she pushed in for the two of you to get in on the game of beer pong. Surprisingly, it proved to be quite the distraction. You’d probably been playing for 30 minutes before Hyunjin texted you.
hyunjin: meet me upstairs quickly? ;)
You showed your friend the text quickly and she took your phone from you before you could reply. Again, to your surprise, it seemed easy to carry on with your game and push him to the back of your mind for a while. That was until you had to excuse yourself to go to the toilet.
You swore to yourself that you weren’t going up to him. You were going upstairs to use the bathroom and that was it. Until you felt his hands on your waist and let yourself be pulled back against his chest at the top of the stairs, “fancy seeing you up here, pretty girl…”
The scent was familiar and your brain immediately surrendered as you followed him lovestruck into one of the empty rooms. You’d make good on your promise to your friend another time.
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