#Let me know if I'm doing this right or am I just being extremely derivative

[the-remainder]

Hello fellow dunnish, Ze here. I've changed the "title" of our devlogs yet again. I suppose that's a form of development, that things have changed, for better or worse. I've taken to call it "tangents", because that seems to be what I write in these things: A few factoids that probably doesn't mean a whole lot to anyone, and a bunch of anecdotes and off-the-cuff remarks that don't necessarily mean more, but at least one of us have fun with!(That's me, btw)

1. Kickstarter progress I spent most of my days packing prints and Nim spent most of theirs cutting them while listening to creepy stories about national parks. Did you know there are supposed to be staircases that go nowhere out in the wilderness? Foodprints that aren't identifiable? Things that scratch at the side of your tent, whispers to you in the voice of your loved one whom you know is miles and miles away from where you are? Yeah, national parks are basically the twilight zone, according to podcasts. Becareful out there, nature-loving friend.

2. Writing Nim wrote and published their first novella! It's a weird mix of romance, horror and erotica. You ever wonder what would happen if you were acosted by a fae in the woods, then decided to follow them and have a wild shag or two? Nothing we can call "good", I assure you. But then again, who wants good? We want interesting. And that's what Many Winters' Briar gets you, an interesting encounter with a fae in the woods. It's completely unlike the Remainder, no one lost their memories, no high magick and tall towers. No world-ending rituals or magick talking cats. Just a cozy time with someone not quite human in a hut who likes berries and pain.

3. The Longing All we did for the longing recently was I THOUGHT about working on it, or rather I felt the urge to work on it squirm quietly in my marrows. That's typical of my process with these things. First the urge squirms in the marrows, then it migrates into the hemoglobin and courses through my veins, then some energetic buildup occurs in the fibres and tissue, then at last the fingers gnarl and twitch and work appears. Yesterday I actually opened up the draft and LOOKED at it. I expect any day now I will be swimming in The Longing again. Watch out for updates; watch along the shoreline for my drenched and cackling form.

4. Agnil's Design I began editing a short story I wrote for Ilar's Teatime stories ages ago, which was a tiny little thing about a magus college student sort of person who had some friction with her mother regarding personal hygiene. Whole thing was about 1 chapter-long if it were a book, and featured 1 character. I know, it sounds incredibly germain, but it's what occurred to me at the time. As I rewrote it, I kept feeling the story was supposed to be about more, and so I nudged it into a slightly different direction just to see what happens. A week later I'm four chapters into what I can only imagine would have to be a novel. Ilar, Vyn, and a few other semi-fleshed out characters were already aching to make appearances. And the threads of the Taldun lore came flowing in from all corners of the realm, and it keeps building. I still have no idea where it goes yet, but sink me it is fun to write. I expect I'll be teasing some of it on our socials soon. It's called Agnil's Design.

5. Other games I also started building another game, just for me, just for fun. It's going to be a rogue-like deck-builder, or as I call it, "body"-builder, where you do some dungeon crawling and collect the body-parts of defeated foe to build your character. I'm making it for no other reason than that I desperately want to play this game and it doesn't exist.

6. Social We are going to dole out bits and pieces of lore, character snippets, new-and-old art, and other enticing stuff over here in the coming weeks. Kindly glue your eyeballs to the bluesky, please. PLEASE, we need the numbers. XD https://bsky.app/profile/the-nim.bsky.social

There, that was less tangential than it could've been, but more tangential than most, I imagine. Big success?

Oh right, if you want to see these images in high res, and a few more sketches, as well as a sample paragraph from Many Winters' Briar and Agnil's Design, head on over to our ko-fi and patreon members section. Your support will help enable us to persevere in our wickedness. You have our infernal gratitude.

[copperbadge]

More on mindfulness and meditation

I feel like perhaps I came across as anti-meditation in that last post I did on it, and there were some folks who were a bit vocal about not liking meditation in the notes, but the notes also had some great and interesting discussion of what can count as mindfulness that isn't traditional meditation and what some alternatives might be, so I wanted to do a follow-up. Especially since I don't think I'm going to get to respond to everyone individually.

The post was not meant to be anti-meditation, but to express frustration with the way meditation frequently is, or rather fails to be, taught. I can understand why people would struggle with "mindfulness" (vastly overused term) and meditation, so I'm not here to argue with or shame anyone, and I really appreciate the alternative suggestions. But because mindfulness can mean so many things, and people can meditate for many different reasons, I wanted to talk a little about why I'm being asked to do it.

It's easy to lose track of why one might try meditation for mental health, because the cause and effect are so temporally dislocated from each other. I try to keep in mind that my specific goal is emotional regulation deriving from increased present-moment attention. Some of the stuff that was suggested is great for a goal other than this, like puzzle games that allow people to empty their racing minds or activity that brings someone back into their body when dissociating -- both extremely laudable functions! -- but that's not why I'm here. Meditation is meant, for me, to be a maintenance medication, not a rescue inhaler.

There is science that suggest that mindfulness practice, under a specific definition of the term, can help to manage emotional dysregulation, ameliorate Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria, and reduce depression and anxiety. I discuss the science in a slideshow here but essentially this specific form trains the attention into the present moment, which improves executive function -- and as we know, emotional regulation is a facet of executive function, so this leads to better emotional regulation.

There is not a lot of science on it yet so there is room here for yoursamplesizeissmall.jpg, but it's all we've got so I'm running with it. There is one foundational practice and three practices that build on it which effected this change in subjects of the study:

Breathing Meditation doesn't really confer any benefit the others don't, but the others all employ it as a basic practice. We know this can calm the parasympathetic nervous system, although to be honest I have not found that to be the case personally. As soon as I stop the deep breathing I'm right back where I was, likely because my issue is ruminational, not situational. But everything else wants you to breathe first, so I still have to do it.

Body Scan focuses attention on the body and as others have pointed out is good for people prone to dissociation. As I said in the other post, I live here; paying extra attention to my body isn't something I need. I was asked to try it anyway as part of a practice in keeping an open mind about stuff I think is dumb, and clearly I do need practice in that. Still, it's likely I'll be able to let this one go pretty soon.

Loving-Kindness asks you to think positively about others, expanding compassion from a single point outward to the world. I've encountered this before in reading Pema Chodron; I don't do it as meditation, but I do try to practice it in life because I am not naturally a patient or compassionate person, and that has been helpful in the sense that it keeps me from getting punched in the face a bunch. For me there's no real "train the attention to be in the present" aspect on account of that, however.

Observing-Thought is where you just sit with your thoughts, let them arise, sometimes label them in some way, and let them go. I was most interested in this purely because it's the only one I hadn't already encountered. I haven't found it useful so far, but I don't have enough data about it to be definitive, and if it is training executive function I would expect that to take time.

Now, I know that all four of these have science backing them, so I know that we're not just dealing in new-age woo here. The problem is functional, not theoretical. The issue overall is not "meditation is boring" -> "find a way to make it interesting", although I do appreciate that it may be an issue for others and I like that people were offering solutions. The issue for me is that the boredom derives from the fact that the meditation isn't being taught. There's no progressional learning -- there's no step-progress-reward-step-progress-reward like with most difficult skills.

Any task is boring if you aren't deriving any reward from it or you are being expected to execute it without skills or training, and in this case I'm facing down both. Long silences from a meditation leader are fine if you're there to engage with a practice you already have familiarity with, but if you're trying to learn, they are the opposite of helpful, and they are actively punishing to someone with ADHD.

I don't want to be entertained (I mean, generally I do, but in this case I don't expect it). What I want is a pedagogical approach that steps up to the practice rather than beginning with it, so that I know I'm doing it right, I experience rewards along the way similar to how I currently do learning Italian, and I have more confidence that what seems dull and fruitless actually will produce results.

Uh, so yeah thanks for coming to my TEDtalk; the fact that a practice that's especially hard for people with ADHD helps with almost every problem ADHD presents really sucks, and I wish we approached teaching meditation as if it were something you actually did have to learn rather than something you're supposed to Do Until You Get It. In the meantime I guess bumping the speed on the recording isn't the worst thing I could be doing.

[randomthefox]

Omfg. Ya know what, I now believe you when you accuse these IDW stans of being cultists.

I was scrolling through some of your posts the other day and found this one talking about this Kotytang dude on YouTube, and I believe you now. Flynn and Stanley are just brainwashing these people to believe that the comics are good and the games are bad.

I was watching his reviews on the comic issues and let out a long tired sigh when he began to see Surge as his Waifu. but then I saw his posts. One that made me very angry was him saying: "A major problem that I have with Sonic x Shadow Generations is that we have no reason at all to believe that Maria has a genuine connection to Shadow."

Is he fucking serious? The more I scrolled through his comment sections the more I realized that you were right. He has NOTHING good to say about the games.

These people don't like Sonic, so they change Sonic into what THEY want him to BE. And sadly, Flynn and Stanley's asses do the same thing. hence why so many "fans" love these comics.

I fucking PRAY that IDW Sonic will burn and crash and die soon, because I can't take this shit anymore.

Sometimes I do engage in hyperbole. But nothing I ever say about Sonic comics fans is hyperbole or exaggeration.

If you think a single thing that I have ever said about Sonic comic fans is an exaggeration, then that just means you haven't seen what I've seen.

Fans of the Sonic IDW comics would MURDER ME for what I've said about the comic, if they thought they could legally get away with doing so. You think I'm exaggerating? You haven't seen what I've seen. I am being dead serious. And honestly for some of them, it isn't the fear of consequences that's stopping them. It's simply the lack of means.

That's them at their most extreme, their most rabidly cult like. Compared to that, my pointing out the OBJECTIVE FACT that they simply hate the Sonic video game franchise from the bottom of their heart is mild.

The ONLY REASON they like Ian Flynn is because he represents an ideal for them. He is an icon. The "big name fan" who infiltrated the franchise and now he has the keys to the asylum. They GENUINELY AND SINCERELY BELIEVE that Flynn can dictate the canon of the Sonic series, and is slaying the evil dragon of SEGA so that he can turn the franchise into Archie/IDW Sonic The Video Game. Because that's what THEY want to do. They are living vicariously through him.

They sincerely and legitimately resent the video games from the bottom of their heart, they hate everything from them and about them. They have nothing good to say about a single thing that originates from the video games, unless it's something that they claim was "fixed" by the comics and what they enjoy is the comics "version" of it. They derive no joy from the video games. To them, the video games are an albatross. A ball and chain. And yet at the same time, they want to coopt it and turn the video games into what they think the franchise should be i.e. the comics.

It's like they're so insecure and resentful of the fact that their stupid comics owe their existence to the video games that the only way they can cope is by constructing these delusional fantasies of destroying the video games and rebuilding them into interactive representations of the comic books. I don't even know what mental illness you fucking call that. I don't know what else to call that besides pure religious fanaticism.

It's going to be so fucking funny when IDW Publishing finally goes out of business and the comic fucking dies because of that, and everything from them is immediately forgotten about and never even acknowledged again. There'll be some cope for a little bit after it happens, some frothing at the mouth that a new comic publisher can just pick up the license and take over where IDW left off or that SEGA can just self publish the comic themselves, or that it just means the games are going to start adapting the storylines and cast of the comics. They'll deny reality for quite a long time. And it will be insufferable. But it will also be hilarious.

[moonofiron]

I saw this one panel in the manga and lost my shit.

He looks so 🥵 here. This is the panel that has inspired this smutty fanfic. I also wanted to draw something related to this piece so I've thrown in an illustration between the story as well! Enjoy!

Jujutsu Kaisen, Chapter 78

Anime: Jujutsu Kaisen

Characters: Geto Suguru x (fem)reader

Genre: smut, bondage, kinbaku, edging, overstimulation, explicit sexual content, visual content thrown in too 🥵

Rating: M

Synopsis: Geto shows you his skills at kinbaku

Word count: 2.4K ~

Minors, dni.

Geto Suguru ties the last knot near your ankle. You whimper from the rope chaffing your skin but ease into the burn and position yourself the way Geto wants.

It has taken months for you to get to this point. 8 months back you had casually asked him where he disappears to for hours at end every Saturday. You couldn't hold it in and he couldn't bring himself to lie to you.

"I..I practice kinbaku love. It's to destress, really."

//

"Oh, what's that?"

"Umm, it's the art of tying knots. It's derived from the act of tying prisoners during the war but now it's a...a form of art."

"I see." After a moment's pause, you had asked, "So what do you tie knots with?"

"Three strand jute ropes. On manequins."

You didn't really get it and had pouted slightly.

To break the awkward silence, you had asked him, "Will you show me sometime, Suguru?"

His face had clouded and he had looked the other way. "Maybe. Maybe, someday I will."

//

"There, all done," says Suguru joyfully. He puts his hand under your chin and pulls your face up so you can look at yourself, his artwork, in the large mirror in front of you.

You gasp at how helpless you look. You're naked and your hair is tied up neatly in a bun. Suguru did your hair earlier and decorated it with the delicate pin he bought for you on your second date. You're pretty much bent into a ball and perched on the futon you both have fucked on on so many nights that you've lost count now. Your hands are tightly tied behind your back and your ankles are tied to your thighs. The knots go down from your neck all the way down to your clit and then climb up your spine. Your breasts perk up from the pressure around them. The knots are elegant and look complicated, and you can see your cunt swelling from the pressure of the tight ropes around your inner thighs.

Please do not repost or plagiarize.

Years of practicing kinbaku has rendered him into a master of this art that he's extremely private about. His passion leaks in the way his long fingers tackle the ropes around your body, almost as if he's making love to them.

You meet his eyes in the mirror and see him looking right back at you as he bites his soft lips. His eyes are dreamy and lustful, and he wears a look of pride that pushes all the buttons for you.

He takes out a small black ball from his kimono's left sleeve and your eyes widen. He walks around and sits in front of you so his face is inches away from yours.

"Open your mouth, love," he whispers.

You do as he says without even giving it a second thought. He pushes the ball-gag in your mouth gently and you close your eyes as you envelope it with your wet mouth. He moves closer so your nose buries into his chest as he clamps the ball-gag strap at the back of your head. When done, he sits back and strokes a finger across your jaw.

“I'll be back in sometime, baby. Be good. I'll be watching." He winks and kisses the ball in your mouth gently, his gaze never leaving yours. A soft gasp escapes his lips. And then, just like that, he's gone.

You panic. 'What? I thought he'll just be showing me how it's done. What does he mean he'll be back in sometime? When? How long?' you think. A flash of fear makes your stomach drop. But then you calm down.

The first few minutes are easy. You spend them admiring how beautiful you look, how lovely Suguru has made you. But, after a while you get bored and start looking around. There's nothing to do except wait for Suguru to come back. Perhaps he ran out of ropes. The thought excites you but you don't know how long he'll take. You don't know if he's locked the door. There's no way to tell how much time has passed. All you know is that there's a warmth spreading in your stomach from the anticipation of his arrival. You try to bend down to take a peek at your cunt and see that you've formed a small pool of wetness on the futon. And, you notice a strange little cube embedded in the knot on top of your clit. You instinctively reach with your hands for your clit forgetting you can't and let out a small moan as the ropes dig into your wrists. You look back at yourself in the mirror. You notice the thin sheen of sweat on your forehead and that your nipples are plump and hard. You look around frantically before you give up and enter a kind of peace that you've never known before. You look up at the ceiling, close your eyes, and hear yourself make a gurgling noise. The small cube has suddenly come alive and is vibrating against your clit, making you squirm and lose balance. Your entire body jerks and shivers as you moan out Suguru's name unintelligibly, the ball-gag stopping you from forming coherent sentences. You feel a wave of pleasure coming and then, just as suddenly as the cube had come alive, it dies, leaving you on the edge, helpless and slick and frustrated from being denied release.

//

Geto Suguru absolutely can not wait to get back home to you. He watches you through a curse, a little eyeball, he's placed in the corner of his room. He struggles to keep still and loses patience in all his meetings. He wants them to get over as soon as possible so he can focus on you. He finishes mission reports and some pending tasks as he watches you struggling and squirming, wet and waiting. His cock twitches at the absolutely stunning sight of you, wriggling on the floor, helpless and vulnerable.

//

//

You don't know how many hours it has been. All you know is that it's the 12th time that the small cube has come alive and you can't take it anymore. The threads of the ropes are wet and cold, the futon is completely ruined, you're hot and extremely bothered. Your thighs are sticky and slick. You need to cum. You can't take the teasing, the absolute relentlessness of this thing that's refusing to let you cum. You're not in an elegant stance anymore, either. Suguru, without even being here with you, has made you fall face-first into the futon, your back arched so your hips are in the air. You're uncomfortable and all you can think about is Getou's cock buried deep inside your throbbing cunt. Your hair has almost come undone and strands stick to your breasts. Your jaw aches and your neck and chin are covered in drool. You're focused on your release. You'll definitely get there before this damned thing shuts off again. But, you know that's wishful thinking.

'This is getting out of hand,' you think as you feel tears dripping down your flushed cheeks. You try to get a sense of balance but you're so disoriented that you can't think anymore. You breathe heavily and are about to close your eyes when you hear the low buzz of the vibrator again. You're grunt and moan and your entire body buckles again and again. In all your frenzy, you don't realise when Getou comes back and quietly sits on the floor behind you.

When the vibrator stops, you scream an unintelligible, "No, please!!" and drop face-first on the futon again. Your laboured breath makes it hard to concentrate on anything. When you finally calm down, you feel his presence. You look back and see his kimono loosly wrapped around his waist, the sleeves are halfway off his shoulders as he gently strokes his cock, already rock-hard and glistening. He watches you intently. You let out a sigh of relief and arch your back to let him know he can use you anytime. Amused and greedy at once, he pulls you to himself, and unclamps the ball gag. He shoves his cock in your mouth, grabs your hair, and maneuvers your head just the way you like it. He moans and grunts out loud enough for the neighbors to hear. He's extremely vocal today and this is new.

He suddenly stops and kisses your mouth hard.

“Such a pretty babe today. Eh? You look stunning.”

"Su..Suguru, pl..please fuck me. Please. Please. Please." You break down, you can't bring yourself to speak coherently. You start to lower your head so you can taste his cock - anything to have him inside you - but he pulls your hair hard and stops you.

He pushes you back and makes you lie down. He carefully unties only the knots near your inner thighs. His cool fingers give you shivers. He cups your nipples with his mouth and licks, nibbles, and bites his way down to your clit.

“Who are you so fucking wet for?”

“Suguru! You!”

“Yeah?"

“Uhun, please, just please, take me already."

“Yeah? How?"

“Suguru, I am begging you. I cant-"

Getou comes back up in a flash. He squeezes your face with his hand and roars, “I asked, how?"

You're crying again and he can't stop thinking how gorgeous you look, sweaty and flushed, begging for his cock.

You take a sharp intake of breath and say, “Getou I want you.”

He raises his eyebrows but doesn't let your face go.

“I want you inside me, I want your cock inside me. I'm throbbing and dripping and so ready for you. Just for you. For you to use and love and fuck. Please Daddy." you say, in a trembling voice.

Suguru lets go of your face and removes his kimono. He's naked underneath. He can't believe he gets to ruin a goddess like you. He starts to lightly flutter his tongue across your swollen clit. You're trembling and it doesn't take long for your whimpering to turn into screaming. You're so close to cumming, finally! Your eyes roll back as you feel his long and thin tongue lapping up your wetness. He licks it like a fucking dog before kissing it sweetly and moves back, leaving you on the edge again and you have such a violent reaction that he lets out a strong grunt.

You've never felt so helpless before. You realise that he's enjoying himself a bit too much seeing you struggle, at your body so bent before him. You're sobbing now, and he hovers over you.

“You're making me lose it with all this begging and squirming, baby," he whispers and thrusts into you in one deep stroke. You immediately bite his neck hard and moan deep into it. Clenching around his cock hard, you take in as much of him as you can. His touch on your arms and lower back is electrifying but he soon holds the ropes around you for leverage. He moves in a quick pace and it doesn't take you long to gush around him, giving him a cumsleeve that he bends down to look at. Your release is so so sweet, your toes are curled, your calves are flexed, your back is arched, and your teeth have left Suguru's neck with spots of blood.

“Please...do..don't stop, Daddy,”

“I won't baby, you've been so good. We've got all night.”

“Night?! How long were ...uhh..were you gone?” You pant.

“6 hours."

Suguru looks at himself moving in and out of your plump cunt as his long hair tickles your breasts. It makes his cock twitch and harder inside of you. He pushes your knees back and the ropes dig into your lower back. He grabs your hair and bends your head to your stomach.

“Look at me moving in and out of you.”

The sight turns you on even more. You didn't know that getting so hot amd bothered was even possible. It seems like you've been cumming for a while now and you're overstimulated.

Suguru pulls out. You gasp and your head rolls back. He turns you around and spends a moment to admire his rope-work, and, of course, your plump and throbbing slick cunt that he's going to fuck again.

“Look at how gorgeous you are," he gently holds your chin and pulls it up. You can see yourself, your face is flushed a deep red and you're bruised everywhere. Suguru towers behind you, holding his cock that's glistening with your cum. You can't believe how good he makes you feel. You wiggle your hips at him, inviting him.

He positions his cock to enter you but starts to rub it on your clit instead. Sensitive from all the edging before, your clit blooms from the rubbing and the warmth. You moan.

"Fuck, I love how noisy your cunt gets."

“Oh, oh, please don't stop. Let me cum all over your cock again."

Suguru bites his lip and doesn't take his eyes off you in the mirror. He can't help but admire how sexy you sound and look. He continues to rub his cock slow but hard against you and you collapse on the futon again, cumming. You've squirted all over the base of his cock and stomach and your screams are drown out everything else.

”Such a good girl. Cumming all over Daddy like that."

He thrusts his cock inside of your swollen cunt and continues to move inside you for what seems like an eternity.

"Daddy's gonna paint you so pretty, love," he whispers as he pulls out, grunts, and cums all over your back, on the ropes, in your hair.

He collapses on your side and looks up at the ceiling and then at you. He's out of breath as he gently plays with his drained cock.

You're completely spent and about to pass out when you feel him untying all the knots quickly. His face is tinted with concern. When you're finally free from the ropes, he tries to massage you lightly and helps you lie down properly. He brings you a bottle of water right away and kisses your forehead.

“I'll run you bath, princess. And then I'll get you something to eat. Okay?"

"Hmm," is all you can manage.

You hear the bath running and he comes back, picks you up and takes you to the bathroom. He bathes you and shampoos your hair, kissing you everywhere with sweet pecks. When you're both finally in bed, you snuggle up close to him and dare to ask -

"When will you tie me up next?"

[albatris]

Hey hello I sent in an anon about starting tarot a while ago (I do not know when I know it was post quarantine starting but...time is wild) and i was wondering if you answered it? This isn't at all me trying to pressure you please please don't read it that way, i totally get it if you didn't! I just know that tumblr's search function is very broke and I'm scared I missed your answer, which would be sad. (I hope this doesn't sound like a bother it's genuinely all good if not I'm just checking!)

YES oh my gosh holy shit hello hi yes hi anon my dear I did in fact completely fucking forget to actually answer your original ask I am so sorry lmao

thank you for reminding me ajhdfgjhsdfg and again I’m so sorry it took me forever anyway I’m gonna just uhhhh look up your original ask real quick

OKAY so resources and starting decks! there are lots and lots of people who know more than me so I feel a little unqualified to answer this but I can tell you my thoughts?? but I definitely recommend looking into what other folks have to say on starting out, I’m sure there are lots of different opinions and ideas! :D

also sorry, it’s me you’re asking, so you’re not gonna get nice neat dot points and I’m not great at being concise, I’m just going to ramble if that’s ok, very sorry, very sorry

under the cut rambles

so........................

for learning meanings........ it’s a lot of work, there’s a lot of detail and a lot of different things to think about during readings, I’ve been learning tarot for around seven years on and off and I still don’t remember everything! 

so IMO it’s best not to come at tarot with the intent to Learn Everything before you start! it’s the perfect thing to learn as you go! my advice would be to just kinda throw yourself in. when you first get a deck, go through the cards and vibe with them some and look at their meanings, but mostly just kinda contemplate them, don’t try to memorise everything at once. start doing readings, look stuff up as you go............. I would recommend keeping a journal where you document your readings............ which will help you with memory and picking up on patterns and connections....... uhhhh

I really like using apps as a companion as well!  they can be a super good resource even if you don’t want to use them FOR readings necessarily

I use Galaxy Tarot as a convenient way to look up meanings and summaries of the cards when I just need to kinda jog my memory (though the descriptions aren’t super detailed), and it has a function where you can either do a reading with the app or you can do a reading yourself and then plug the cards you’ve drawn into the app, and it can help you with pointing out recurring themes and symbols and connections between the cards, which can be handy when you’re first starting out and maybe feel a little overwhelmed by the Amount Of Information you’re trying to take in

uhhhh another one I’ve used in the past is Labyrinthos Tarot, which is an app to help you learn and memorise the cards and their meanings., from what I can remember there are sorta, games and exercises to help with it, I forget exactly how it works since it’s been a while since I used it! but maybe that’s a good one to check out too?

I feel like apps is something i should’ve mentioned at the end but anyway moving on to the rest of it

most decks will come with a guidebook of some sort! so you’ve got the traditional rider waite tarot deck (which is probably the default deck most people think of when they think of tarot), and there are plenty of resources online such as Biddy Tarot which can give you a fairly detailed rundown of the card meanings! these meanings can be applied to variations of the rider waite cards, but lots of decks are a little wild and a little funky and are off doing their own thing while still following the basic rider waite structure, and if you receive a guidebook with a deck, that’s definitely an invaluable resource!! ‘cause it’ll give you the artist’s kinda interpretation and their meanings, their own personal touch, even if you then look up the card in more detail online

ALSO tarot is just a whole fuckin tonne about intuition as well though! so as much as it can feel like something where you need to focus on all the details and try and keep them all rigid and by-the-book, you might do a reading and feel yourself drawn in a certain different direction or just get a “feeling”, so you should definitely be open and flexible and listen to what your gut tells you as far as meanings go! plus, you will develop your own relationship to the cards and maybe draw your own personal meanings and associations! that’s definitely not something to fight against and don’t worry about whether that means you’re doing it “wrong” - you should listen to those feelings, those r important!! :D

lastly I will say, it can be helpful to have someone who is more experienced with tarot around who you feel you can ask for advice from or get second opinions from if there’s something you’re confused about! or who can give you tips and tricks from firsthand experience. like, it doesn’t have to be something you learn alone, and having a teacher or companion can be really helpful in terms of bouncing ideas and getting new perspectives! I throw this out there because I always forget to say things like this, ‘cause I forget that other people Are Not Me and other people like being around people lmao rip

and as far as starting decks go........... it really depends so much on what you want and what’s important to you! some people will say start with the traditional rider waite tarot, and if you decide to do that, you will certainly have a lot of resources at your disposal! it’s a valid place to start for sure

but there’s also SO many different decks out there with all sorts of themes and art and personality, and IMO......... I’d kinda urge you in the direction of choosing something you’re personally interested in and engaged with! it can make connecting with a deck easier and can help you stay interested and engaged during learning! but that’s just me

when I got my first deck the lady in the store kinda just took me to the collection of decks and just asked me which ones I vibed with and which one kinda called out to me or one I was drawn to, then she let me take a look at some of them and she showed me how to handle them and use them!! this was my first experience, n I was told just to go with what Feels Good And Right

n there’s so much cool art out there! and many interesting themes! you might not know which one you’ll latch onto until you see it, so take some time to look around and see what speaks to you c:

for instance, certain themes like cats or flowers, certain art styles, maybe certain series you’re into (I have two welcome to night vale decks n the raven’s prophecy by maggie stiefvater), or queer friendly decks! I have the Numinous Tarot which I ADORE, which is a deck with gorgeous artwork and extremely queer, all gender neutral language and lots of diverse designs, etc

so it depends what you’re into! take some time to feel it out, my friend

I would also like to throw out a mention to oracle decks as well! I actually started with oracle decks long before I used any tarot decks c: 

I am................... very tired. and blanking on the best way to explain the difference between oracle and tarot decks, but you can look into this if you’re interested! lots of people use both or use them in conjunction with each other and there’s benefits to both n so on and so forth........

but in terms of Starting Out, and getting comfy with doing readings? they can also be really helpful in this regard! I found since oracle decks can have any number of cards and are less “structured” than tarot decks in a way, it can be really helpful as a way to get comfortable with things if you find, just, the Amount Of Detail that is involved in tarot decks overwhelming!!

it was something that helped me get the ~feel~ of doing readings and sensing with the cards and vibin and such, n get some practice drawing connections between cards and deriving meanings from the stories the cards present! but in a way that’s not quite as...... overwhelming?? as traditional tarot decks?? I was SUPER intimidated by just how extensive tarot decks were when I first started and I thought I’d never figure out what I was doing HAHAHA

but again, it’s just practice, I think!

where tarot will follow the same 78 cards and structure and is very traditional and I guess “rigid” is not exactly the right word?? but yeah?? oracle decks are a lot more flexible in what they represent and a lot more loose in the structures they can take

I do love oracle decks because of how varied they are!! each one is its own little system and its own unique universe and it’s really quite lovely, even if you aren’t into Actually Doing Readings with them, y’know?

but then, I find tarot decks the same way, what will all the different art styles and different people’s interpretations and renditions of the same story, like, it’s really fascinating!! 

this has just turned into me rambling about how cool they are now

point is, do a little research into what sorts of decks and themes you might like to buy, when you get a chance I thoroughly recommend visiting a store so you can speak to someone who has some experience with tarot decks, they can help guide you when it comes to picking one and giving you some tips!! remember that it’s about intuition and following your gut as much as it is about memory and precision, so you should pick a deck that Feels Right

and uhhhhhhhhhhh

just kinda throw yourself in!! that’s literally my best advice!! you’re never gonna memorise everything beforehand (I’ve been learning on and off for seven years and I still often have to consult guidebooks and webpages) but you WILL absolutely learn as you go

it might feel very clumsy starting out, but as with any craft, you will improve with practice and begin to feel more comfy and confident with it as you go!

I hope this helped out some!! maybe!! possibly!!!!! ok goodnight!!!

[eversoslinky]

Why I don't call myself a "spoonie"

One of the many reasons I don't go on Instagram anymore is not being able to talk about my illnesses freely with like minded people. This is me today, I'm having the worst day ever so frustrated and annoyed with myself and I physically can't move. I have been diagnosed with chronic fatigue syndrome, (ME) Endometriosis, Adenomysis (Endometriosis of the womb) Fibromyalgia, a hiatus hernia as well as stomach and digestion problems. I won't call my account Chronicallyhannah or EndoHannah or Fibrohannah because it's NOT how I define myself. I'm glad my account is called Eversoslinky because whenever I see that name it puts a big smile on my face. I'm NOT my illnesses, I have alot of problems and health conditions but they aren't who I am. I don't think I can ever look at the words assosatied with my illnesses and feel happy. Yes, I'm ill, I don't work, most of my days are spent in bed. I cry alot cause I feel like a waste of space... I feel like I'm a drain on my family and society and I don't deserve to live. I think I'll never meet a man and be happy cause who would possibly put up with me?

There's alot of negative culture in what is surposed to be a loving environment for people to talk freely... a weird backwards way people compete with each other for who is the most sick. When I first posted about being ill I had lots of people (mainly other women with endo) wanting to speak with me. I felt my heart and soul had been lifted! Finally! A group of people who I can speak to openly and freely about my health problems. But this all soon turned nasty pretty quickly when I started modelling... People saying I couldn't really be ill cause I pose nude and in lingerie for photos. If I really did have endo, I'd have a bloated stomach and be so self conscious about my body I'd constantly cover myself up. That's not true! If I'm ill, I'm ill. I don't do a shoot but I refuse to let it stop me if I do feel well enough. I have so many bad days when I get a good day I make it count! Bloated belly or no bloated belly! Take me as you find me, but don't you EVER, ever try to tell me what you think a sick person should look like! If you do then you are just as bad as those who say "...But you don't look sick."

I read a blog someone had written not that long ago on Instagram saying that anyone with depression or anxiety couldn't call themselves a spoonie and they had no right to complain about being ill mentally. It made me rage!!! I think of my health problems as "chicken or egg" they are connected and I almost certainly started to become depressed on the days I got so ill I couldn't walk. Knowing I was due on my period used to send me into an overdrive of anxiety. I remember sitting on the toilets and crying and shaking knowing that I had just come on my period and I had so much work to do. I needed to concentrate and focus yet I had this constant brain fog and feeling I was going to faint.

I love the spoon theory, I think it describes being chronically sick perfectly and how people like myself struggle to do things everyday that other healthy people might find easy. However, I won't call myself a spoonie cause I get shit for it off the chronic illness community. I feel I constantly have to talk about how sick I am and I have to talk about events like hospital visits instead of talking say for example, a photoshoot I did in the past or going to a really great vintage market. I can't talk about what other interests I have... because I'm too ill to have them. But EVERYONE deserves to have hobbies, interests and things they enjoy doing that have nothing to do with their illnesses. You'd be surprised how many times I've done a really glamourous hair and makeup look and put it on Instagram. I've photographed myself in a portrait style (from the chest up) wearing a sexy lace bra and cute necklace. The person looking at my Instagram can only see the top half of me, the bottom half (from the waist down) I'm in my PJs. (The chances are my stomach was too swollen to wear pants that day!) What I'm trying to say is I did that activity sitting down on my bed with my mirror propped up. It wasn't sky diving or scuba diving or any extreme sport but it made me feel good and it had absolutely nothing to do with me being ill.

Because of how I look I get alot of crazy sex pests messaging me. Most of them are harmless until I have a day I want to talk about the reality of being ill. Then I get messages like "cheer up, chin up" I understand that some people (mainly older people) might not understand, they think I'm having a bad day or I've got a stomach bug or something... the one that made me cry in frustration was a man who asked me if I was taking my pills for fun.Please don't be this ignorant! Please no! So the above picture is a perfect example of how I feel and what any person who is chronically sick goes through on a daily basis. I'm not an addict! I hate taking pills, I take so many and I've been taking them for years and they themselves have nasty side effects. I definitely don't derive any pleasure from anything I take.

Last but not least, let me explain to you what you are doing to someone if you think you can decide if they are sick or not? You drive them indoors, inside their home... you make them wish they had minimal interaction with other people. You are closing walls around them and isolating them from the rest of the world! That person you saw who looks perfectly healthy to you pushing their trolley around the supermarket. They don't work. They have a medical condition and very severe depression and anxiety. They have someone who usually does their shopping, who couldn't do it this week. This is one day out of all the other days of the year they got up and went out? Do you begrudge them that one day? Or do they have to stay in their home to fill the stereotype of a sick person? It doesn't matter if you are a sick person or a healthy person you have no right to decide what "sick" looks like. Many times have I had to go to the shops by myself while I've been in pain but that's because I lived alone and had no choice. I won't define myself as being a spoonie (although, I guess choosing between changing my bed and washing my hair is a good example of my daily decision making process.) There are plenty of things I'm very capable of doing and I do them well but they define me no more than my bad days.

[pidayforpi]

我在 2022 年張貼了 112 次

比 2021 年多了 48 篇貼文！

30 篇創建貼文（27％）

82 篇轉載貼文（73%）

我轉載最多的部落格：

@sikyurame

@shychick-52

@tll04

@sheepmouse

@dear-alex-chill

我在 2022 年標籤了 94 篇貼文

只有 16% 的貼文沒有標籤

#a huh huh huh - 66 篇貼文

#storyteller - 11 篇貼文

#story - 11 篇貼文

#short story - 9 篇貼文

#donald duck - 6 篇貼文

#fethry duck - 6 篇貼文

#👀👀👀 - 5 篇貼文

#ducktales - 5 篇貼文

#gladstone gander - 5 篇貼文

#ari the aracuan bird - 4 篇貼文

最長的標籤：111 個字元

#(if i somehow think of a super angst idea i will definitely take advantage of this stressed-out mood right now)

2022 上我的熱門貼文：

#5

[Okay. It has been 2 years, and seeing that I probably won't have more ideas for now, I may as well post it...]

[I made some corrections to the text in 2022, but if you see something cringy, that's probably my cringy 2020 self. not that I'm not cringy now]

[Edits are shown in [] and italic]

[Just...please try not to cringe too hard...Thank you _(:3 」∠)_]

Ducktales x Persona

(Extreme cringe and angst ahead.)

(You may understand this more if you have played Persona 5, since P5 is the main Persona concept I am going to reference.)

So...Basically, I try to give (some) Ducktales characters a “Palace”.

A “Palace” is the equivalent of a game stage/dungeon in Persona 5. It is the manifestation of a character’s subconscious, so it shows the character’s inner, most genuine fear/anger/sorrow etc.

Being a Persona/Ducktales fan, I try to describe what the characters’ “Palaces” may look like.

——————————————————

(Some forewords...)

→ Despite using the “metaverse” concept from Persona 5, the sentiments present in Palaces here are more like those in Persona 4. As in, the Palace designs I use will sheer more towards empathy for the characters rather than hatred. So my designs of Palaces will focus more on personal struggles (Persona 4) than greed (Persona 5). You are trying to save them, not destroy them.

→ I try to be less cheesy, such as placing Scrooge in a bank or Fethry in an aquarium. I will try to be more creative.

→ Some characters are...well, “less developed” in canon (*cough* glomgold *cough*), so there will be some headcanons from me. I try to keep them to a minimum, but a necessary minimum (to the point of at least having some angst).

—————————————————

This is the format I will be using:

(Character)

Location = The actual location which the Palace is based on

Distortion = How the character imagines the place to be

Palace Master = “Shadow”. How the character imagines themself to be in the Palace

Rationale = Why I give the character this Palace design (this will be rather long)

I know this is very vague, but I don’t want to spoil anything. I hope you can understand more clearly as we go on.

With that out of the way, let’s do this.

(Some actual Persona music for this long read:

Persona 4 - Heaven

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=ybaVWcH_zBQ

Persona 5 - The Days When My Mother Was There

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=W_SosS9S8bw

Don’t...search for any context if you don’t want spoilers.)

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17 個迴響 - 張貼於 2022年3月5日

#4

Fethry has always insisted that "A warm head is a happy, healthy head". This is why he always has his signature red stocking cap on.

In "The Depth of Cousin Fethry!", both Huey and Fethry seemed to have derived this knowledge from their Junior Woodchuck guidebooks. However, I think they had (also) learnt this "life tip" from their own personal experience.

Huey might have been taught this knowledge by his Uncle Donald.

While Fethry...well.

When they were kids (which was...when they were still together), Abner used to pat/rub Fethry's head (as a form of affectionate teasing (?)). Fethry didn't mind that, but one time he was curious and playfully asked his brother about that action.

Abner replied, "To keep your big noggin' warm. You know, a warm head is a happy, healthy head."

And Fethry keeps this line close to his heart.

It is more than just a mere scientific knowledge. It is a remembrance of the past, a symbol of love, and a promise to his big brother, that he will take care of himself when he is alone in the outside world.

His stocking cap was a hand-made, parting gift from his brother Abner, as a substitution to keep his head warm when they are apart. And a sign that no matter how far they are by distance, their hearts will always be close to each other.

To Fethry, a warm head not only keeps his head healthy, but also keeps his heart strong. Fethry will never take his cap off, until the day the brothers reunite.

18 個迴響 - 張貼於 2022年10月17日

#3

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19 個迴響 - 張貼於 2022年4月10日

#2

Reminiscence

Bugs Bunny swallowed in awe of the archipelago of buildings around him.

He held the plastic folder of documents close to his neatly-ironed dress suit, the contents of which included his resume, recommendation letters, various certificates and qualifications.

When he applied for a position at the Warner Bros Studio, he had known how enormous the company was, both figuratively and literally. But stepping foot on the venue was an entire different feeling.

Actor trailers, movie studios, office buildings, the signature Water Tower...they were all much, much taller than the already tall grey hare. Bugs immediately felt like a nobody in the midst of the studio ground, his already fragile confidence dwindling in the cold wind.

But Bugs promised himself: He had gone through all the application processes up to this step, he would be getting into the building no matter what. Whether he would, for some reason, somehow be allowed to stay, or most likely get kicked out of the premise...Bugs would be sitting through the interview.

Gathering all his (remaining) courage, Bugs stepped through the glass doors, and into the concrete jungle...

----------------------

...which was even more complicated in the inside...

The very first problem Bugs encountered was finding where the chairman's office was.

The hare got dizzy just looking at the sheer amount of rooms located in a single corridor. And it didn't help that the clock was ticking, and his heart was racing. Only he was on that floor at that time, without anyone he could ask for help. His shaking hands automatically clenched his folder, slightly wrinkling the paper inside.

Just when a thought of giving up and leaving passed through Bugs' mind, someone placed a hand on his trembling shoulder.

Caught by surprise, Bugs involuntarily screamed out, dropping himself and all the documents onto the floor. For a moment, he was so scared that the person was the chairman who would be conducting the interview, as a situation like that would give a very bad impression. He kept his eyes shut, fearing for the worst, until a hand reached out to him.

"Hey...Are you alright?"

The trembling newbie slowly opened his eyes, and saw a black duck in front of him. The waterfowl kindly extended his hand, offering to help Bugs up.

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20 個迴響 - 張貼於 2022年11月5日

我在 2022 年中的 #1 貼文

"Fethry, what are you..."

Scrooge McDuck stared in absolute shock when his nephew walked to the villains' side.

[CW: Verbal abuse, mentioned past abuse/abandonment, painting uncle scrooge in a not very good light]

Fethry didn't answer. He silently stood next to the equally shocked Steelbeak, an unreadable expression on his face.

"...do you know what you are doing?"

Scrooge took a step forward.

"Fethry. Get back here this instant."

Fethry didn't respond.

"Fethry Duck. I said: Get back here. Right now."

Fethry didn't respond. Scrooge was getting impatient.

"Do you know who you are siding with? They are villains! Spies, thieves, killers! And you are abandoning your own family for these criminals?!"

Scrooge motioned his hands to the other Duck family members beside or behind him. Most were also shocked.

Except Donald and Gladstone, who wore the same unreadable expression as Fethry. Because they knew Fethry's reasons.

"Fethry, if you foolishly decide to side with FOWL, and turn your back against your own flesh and blood, you will no longer be a part of the family. I..."

Scrooge clenched his fist and bill.

"I will not tolerate a traitor in this family!"

Scrooge glared at Fethry, his burning rage was clearly visible to everyone in the scene.

Fethry responded. By holding Steelbeak's hand.

Scrooge was at his breaking point.

Scrooge advanced towards his nephew, fist and cane in hand. Donald immediately tried to stop Scrooge. Because he didn't want Scrooge to put himself in danger. Because he didn't want to see his uncle beating his cousin.

The McDuck's wrath caused even the hulking rooster agent to flinch. Steelbeak leaned down, and whispered to Fethry.

"Feth. A-are you sure about this...? I...I really appreciate you joining us, but...your family...Do you really want to...?"

Fethry nodded. His normally gleaming eyes were clouded by a shadow of seething anger, staring straight at the person he had once called "uncle".

"Yes, Steely."

Fethry's voice was monotonous.

Hearing his enemy and nephew calling each other by nicknames made Scrooge's blood boil. He pointed his cane at Fethry, his paraphernalia shaking with fury.

"Then go! Go lick those scumbags' boots! You are no good to begin with! Just a useless, worthless brat! That's why you are not a scientist, only a janitor! That's why you'd got to stay in that underwater dumpster for four years!"

Fethry's grasp on Steelbeak's hand tightened.

"Enough!"

Steelbeak shouted, holding Fethry close to him. He could understand Scrooge's anger, but he would not permit anyone to hurt his friend. Not anymore.

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39 個迴響 - 張貼於 2022年3月28日

來看看你的 Tumblr 2022「年度回顧」→

[themodernsouthernpolytheist]

so i just recently started the dedicants path of the adf and i'm finding myself bumping up against a thorn bush my issue is: how can i be developing/having a relationship with the land and its spirits/gods and the good people when i am a product of ongoing colonization? is it not rude and against hospitality to invite in our euro gods on land that isn't ours? there's more but i believe you get the gist i don't expect answers, but would appreciate some of your guidance on the matter

Hey! Sorry this took a while to get back to. It’s the end of my semester and I’m just swamped. But this is an excellent question. 

For me, it’s multifold. In many ways, I understand the conflict. And if Native practices were open, this would be a totally different conversation, imo. But they’re not, so that changes the conversation. And to be thorough, I’m gonna take this a piece at a time.

So, here we’re talkin different entities here. As far as land spirits, it’s a combo. I very much believe that localized spirits vary and some are indigenous, some are immigrant. But because these spirits aren’t all “known” widely, it’s hard for them to fall as neatly into the above categories. And if a spirit like that doesn’t want to interact, they won’t. They’re not obligated. I try to spend time just in the space as much as I can and see what, if any, offerings are appropriate and go from there. But ultimately, there’s no way to Know™ the origin of these spirits in any kind of measurable way.

As for gods, that’s a little different for me. While deities may be tied in some ways to a physical place, that doesn’t mean they can’t venture out from there. I think of it like goin on a trip. I might be gone for a week, a month, a year, but that doesn’t mean my home isn’t still my home. So I think entities that hold the title of “deity” are much more able to do this kind of venturing. They hear their devotees wherever they may be. I think about history and the ways that people travelled, maybe never even returning to where they’re from, but still honor the deities of their homeland. Again, the living people of Native nations have largely said they don’t want non-Natives participating in their religions, so I don’t see an issue with worshipping/honor/building practices around other deities, as long as they’re respectful of the fact that we are on colonized land. *side eyes Nazi trash* So, for example, whiskey is a traditional offering for me as a Gaelic Polytheist, but I never pour it directly on the ground out of respect for Native traditions. I either let it evaporate, pour it on a fire, on a potted plant that can handle that kind of thing. But ultimately, unless you feel the need to leave the continent, this is an issue you’ll have to negotiate for yourself. That’s not a even a possibility for everyone and it seems...the idea of simply giving up all religious thought and practice seems like an extreme position. To me, working to reverse/repair as much of the damage our ancestors contributed to is a better use of our lives than anything else we can do on that front. 

And that ties into the idea of hospitality imo. We are the product of colonization and we can’t change that. So being a good steward of the land we’re on, fighting for the rights and lives of those our ancestors tried to exterminate is our obligation. But maybe part of that, for you, is not building any kind permanent or outdoor shrines to your deities. Maybe it means researching the specific places that are sacred to the people indigenous to your area and never conducting European-derived religious activities there. Maybe it means something else. But I don’t think it means giving up your deities. 

Like you said, there are no hard and fast answers, but these are definitely good things to think about, mull over, and revisit from time to time. Our answers to these types of questions regularly change, especially as we become exposed to more ideas, have more time to think them through, etc. It’s tough, but worth it and in the end, a a question everyone has to answer for themselves. 

Lastly, if anything wasn’t clear, lemme know. I got super sleepy halfway through, but also really wanted to answer!