#Let kids have a positive environment chances are they're not getting one at home

[artemx746]

Do people not realise that a person doesn't suddenly gain full maturity and knowledge of everything when they turn 18?

[ihopesocomic]

Do you think bullying is considered a type of abuse? Does "bully redemption" trope can also be considered a abuser redemption? I can't like this kind of narrative at all. Not even "A Silent Voice " could convince me.

The thing is with bullying is that it is often committed by children and the overreaching fact is that hardly any adult is going to look back on their actions as a child/young adult and say yes, that totally was not cringe of me. This further compounded by the person's home life and/or if they're dealing with personal issues.

I was a pretty huge asshole as a kid and it's not like I mellowed out the moment I hit 18 either. I was dealing with a lot of stuff (i.e. such as undiagnosed autism/schizophrenia and psychologists refusing to take me seriously) and I dealt with it in a shitty manner by being this "edgy badass" online and just getting into online fights whenever I can because being deemed intimidating and scary online made up for the fact I was an insecure outcast offline.

I truly regret how I conducted myself back then. Regardless of what I was going through, nobody deserved to have to deal with me lashing out at them. It was also just embarrassing behaviour to boot.

But I do think bullying can certainly be counted as abuse and it certainly begets abusive tendencies (points to self, who was bullied throughout elementary and high school). But in that vain, I feel people respond to depictions of it in a manner that isn't exactly constructive and is borderline abusive itself, like the desire to outright commit assault or murder on said bully being depicted. lol

Because I also feel this question is also in reference to Rose and her behaviour and while I can't give much away on how we're going to handle her arc, I feel like people demanding she dies or whatever is just... Yeah, let's not. It's essentially 'I hope Vicious dies, particularly at the hands of her abuser' all over again.

It's clear Rose is growing up in a pretty unhealthy environment and is being groomed to take on a position of authority in said unhealthy environment.

I've seen the same kind of reception to irl children of cult leaders and the intent behind Rose's character is to deconstruct the fact that people - particularly children - are very much influenced by what surrounds them and will respond accordingly to it. We're social animals at the end of the day. Same goes for (anthropomorphic) lions. Not to mention what goes on in a cult that may seem alarming and disturbing to us is not necessarily the case for those within it... because they've been brainwashed into thinking it's OK. Rose is very much not exempt from this and her being groomed to become Queen by her father has only made things worse.

Anyway, my apologies, this thing got pretty long and also kinda personal and it probably also doesn't make a whole lot of sense but feeling that bullies cannot be redeemed? Totally get that. Responding to the depiction with unhealthy thoughts of child abuse or murder? I can't really get behind that. If there's room for growth and a chance for them to change rather than becoming outright established abusers as fully-fledged adults, I feel we should hope for that. - RJ

--

Like everything, it depends on how it's done. I don't know what A Silent Voice is, but some things are just too far past forgiveness or redemption. Cuz at that point its not "bullying", it's hazing. If it's teasing, or there's mutual sass happening, or heck even if one person thinks the other is bullying but it was a misunderstanding (Amity calling Luz a bully in The Owl House), and its not full on harassment, or stalking, I don't see the harm in allowing someone to better themselves and liking how they've changed, especially if they're young. And I don't see a problem with a friendship beginning at a place of conflict and grow into something strong and meaningful. I don't even think forgiveness of the bullying itself is a requirement to move on? Maybe I'm just old so I handle things differently than like a teenager would, but certain stuff just stops bothering you. People I'm still friends with to this day weren't exactly pleasant to me early on in our relationship or vice versa, but we never "forgave" the infraction and we've all just moved on because the infraction in question was never done again which is something I personally care more about. I've actually had someone from High school see me years later and apologize for how they treated me. It was just all water under the bridge at that point. But what I think about how things are handled in media is not the same thing as real people. What might not be a big deal to one person might be a big deal for someone else. Again bully redemption is something to be done with care and more often just excuses abuse which is gross. But I've seen it done right, but I wouldn't exactly call it commonplace. - Cat

[thunder-the-ranger-wolf]

Human Warriors: Medical Mystery

In this AU, they were originally cats. The forest has gone for good. When StarClan's chosen can't find anywhere to go that isn't infested by Twolegs, the Clans find that they must adapt. Adapt they will, since they now have the ability to take human form.

Key note for Leafpool: Healers can choose to take mates because humans don't let their jobs get in the way of having family. (Of course nuns and bishops exist, but that would take explaining their religion and honestly, it's easier to just let some things go. StarClan is stumbling through this just as much as everyone else.)

Fair warning, I have no clue what a kidney stone feels like and I highly doubt they can be passed as easily as they are in the following bit.

Sandy pressed the doorbell to her daughter’s home a few more times before she stepped back and yowled for the window. 

“Wake up, Squirrelflight! You may be sick, but you are not useless! Get your tail down here and open the door for your mother! Or better yet, get Brambleclaw to do it. I know he’s in there!” 

A few minutes later, Leafpool opened the door. 

“Sorry, Mama, but Squirrel’s a bit busy in the bathroom. She's got some weird cramps that even pain meds won't help.” 

“Oh…”  Sandstorm’s eyes darkened and the normally tan she-cat went into immediate Mothering mode.

“Where is she? What have you given her?” 

Leafpool was cut off by the sound of her sister’s howling. 

"What the fuck is this?!" Squirrelflight screeched. "Why is it so hard to take a shit? What the hell did Brian put in my coffee?!"

“Where is Brambleclaw, anyway?” 

“Pacing the office. He’s too much of a wreck to be of any help and I have you now, so Sam should be fine.” 

“Ever think about getting an apprentice?”

“I'm still young, Mother, and I don’t plan on going anywhere. Not after-. At any rate, when that time comes, I’ll know who I want to pick.” 

“How are your kits?” Sandstorm wondered aloud as they approached a squirming Samantha. The ginger-haired female took after her father in the looks department, but her attitude was all Sandy’s. Not that the blonde woman could fault her for it.

Layla, on the other hand, was the picture of calm cool and collected even now, as she was under major pressure. This is what she was born to do. 

"Fine, Mama. They're in the cribs with Brian." 

"I thought you said he was in the office?" 

"It's attached to the guest room, remember?" 

"Have you decided what you're going to do?" 

Layla's triplets were the product of one last shot at a relationship that never had a chance. He was the son of the Vice President of Air Incorporated, a well-known company that specialized in "the perfection of the environment" and all the supplies that came with it. Run by those residing in WindClan's sector of the city, they provided almost any service to do with keeping up the environment as well as adding to the town's collective police force that met once monthly to keep each other up to date. Corey Gusterns was set to marry Nika Cloust as of a few days ago, and there wasn't much Layla could find that she wanted from her former lover. She wished him well and hoped that he treated Nika just as sweetly as he had her and Faith, his first crush who died in an unfortunate rock climbing incident.

"I've decided to keep them. Corey would be too busy to pay them any mind and he's getting married soon. Why force my kids in the picture when he's just getting started with his own life?" 

"Because they're his kids too. He should be responsible for them somehow." 

"I'm not letting him raise my children in an unknown environment with someone who is not and doesn't want to be their mother. I have family to lean on, Mom. I have you and Dad and Sam and Sorrel and even Colin, though only the Stars know what he and Hope are up to half the time, he'd come if we needed him. Corey doesn't really have anyone like that. Let him make his own family instead of worrying about ours." 

"Well how are you going to balance your job as healer and raise your kits?" Sandy was cut off by Samantha, whose screams split the air as she excremented on Layla's orders. Something plumped into the toilet but Squirrelflight's stomach was hard as a rock.

"There's still something in there." She informed her sister. "One more time, sis... Now!" 

Sam's screech rocketed through the house, startling the three infants upstairs. Brian rocked Jaykit and Hollykit frantically as Lionkit merely whimpered. He wished, not for the first time, that the office was soundproof.

Samantha eased herself up to a standing position and hobbled over to the tub, turning on the water and stopping it up. 

"Well? What the hell was that? Did I pass some furballs the size of a rat or something?" She asked as she sank down into the bubbling water and enjoyed the warmth.

"I, uh…" Leafpool gagged at the sight in the toilet, what looked like twin misshapen balls of flesh the size of a car wheel. She wasn't sure what that was, but she sure wasn't going to let Squirrelflight see that. "I have no damn clue. Whatever it is, it's going to the hospital for tests. Stay here with Mama, Sammy, and let me know if you feel any worse." 

"Don't see how I could, but okay."

Leafpool wrapped the sopping, mushy specimen firmly in a large beach towel. Thank the Stars she kept work-grade gloves on her person. Never know what she'd encounter. This was definitely one for the books.

[pooma-unvolunteers]

Ways to Teach Your Children a Great Work Ethic

The principle that hard work is intrinsically virtuous or worthy of reward…. is WORK ETHIC.

Why is it IMPORTANT TO HAVE A GOOD WORK ETHIC ?

Your good work ethic tells, in future what people might expect from you ...Good attendance and punctuality are two important pieces of a good work ethic –and they're easily addressed and accomplished..

IS IT A SKILL?

Good work ethic, problem solving, time management, communication skills and team work ability are all skills that can make you a great student/ employee. Leadership skills make you a candidate to be more than that.

Here are the few ways for the Parents to teach your children a great work ethic:

Just as it’s not enough to tell your slacker co-worker to work harder, it’s not enough just to tell a child about the importance of a good work ethic. No, the teaching of a good work ethic begins with good boundaries and a little one-on-one assistance.

Parents play a large role in shaping their child’s home and academic work ethic through interaction and support. By knowing how to change your expectations toward your child, you show your child how to change his outlook toward work.

1.Understand the fact that you always teach, regardless of intention:

The question when it comes to teaching at home is not “if?” but “what?” It’s important to understand that home is a natural and continuous learning environment. Everything we do instructs our children – so the question is always “What am I teaching?” and “How can teach the right lessons?"

Start Early…Lay the groundwork early. When our three-year-olds beg to peel carrots, or our four-year-olds plead to sweep the floor, our tendency is to say they’re not ready. But teach them when they’re eager and they’ll be more likely to step up to the plate later on.

2. Example, example, example:

If parents own a positive work ethic, then we’re already halfway there. This is a great opportunity for “do as I do” supporting “do as I say.” Be a Role Model…So much of who our children turn out to be is a reflection not of what we try to pour into them but of what they see in us. It’s not the big occasions our kids will remember most, but the everyday stuff that revealed what their parents were really made of – how we handled frustration, whether we were on time and kept commitments, whether we did our own work with a smile or a frown.

Know Your Children…..There’s a difference between a 5-year-old who doesn’t know that plates have backs and a 10-year-old who neglects to wash them because he’s in a hurry to play. One needs teaching, the other needs accountability.

Parents also need to know how to motivate each child. Young children are often motivated by verbal praise. Older children may need more: money or privileges.

3. Balance is job one:

Every family has their own take on how much is too much. But it’s essential that we teach our children balance in terms of work. Deliberately teach them that family time is the priority. A work ethic that sacrifices family turns out to be all work and no ethic.

4. Keep family priorities in order:

The simple, “fun after the work is done” associates relaxation with completion rather than relaxation as escape. Kids experience more satisfaction in their leisure when it is paired with satisfactory job performance.

5. Work with your children whenever possible:

Question: how is a “guide” different from a “boss”?

Answer: a boss typically barks out orders and waits for results – whereas a guide is willing to walk alongside. As dads, teaching a work ethic, our role is that of guide.

If your child wants to rake leaves, be ready to knock on doors with him. If she wants to walk dogs, help her place an ad in the paper. Be ready and willing to help your child start working, and you’ll be amazed at the life lessons she’ll learn.

6. Take your children with you when you volunteer:

Pick up garbage together on the side of the street; join a team that fixes things at the park; hook up with volunteer efforts at church or other community groups. Work associated with service is a key building block to the value of work across the board.

7. Expose them to stories about heroes who learned the value of work:

There are hundreds of great stories to reinforce this point. Movies, books, articles. Read them together and then live them, day by day.

8. Make chores at home a shared responsibility:

Every member of the family should have assigned chores on a routine basis. Change them around; help each other out; take turns with the ones no one really enjoys. Doesn’t wimp out on the chores, and don’t let your kids wimp out either. Accept What You Get. When faced with less-than-perfect results, graciously praise the effort. For example, when seven-year-old son surprised the family by cleaning the windows, her mom ignored the smudges and smears. “What hard work!” she said simply, “I love to clean windows too. Next time let’s do it together!”

9. Reward your child for productivity.

Give praise or small gifts to your child when he’s made improvements in his work ethic. Remember to ignore the guilt that naturally comes in the form of the question, “Am I bribing my child?” In fact, these are expressions of pride in him . So go ahead and push your child forward via praise, hugging and the occasional small gift. Paying children to participate in family life sends the wrong message. Work in the family is an intrinsic value and is fundamentally worthwhile.

Compliment; encourage; throw in the occasional treat. “Because you- kids, it has been so amazingly responsible week!”… Admire their good work, but don’t re-assign the value of expected work to the false value of cash.

10. Have a “chore chart” on the refrigerator: And feel free to use.

11. Establish limits:

Create boundaries that will push your child away from distractions and toward his work. For example, a child who watches television while he eats his after school snack , might lack the willpower to turn off the television after one show. In his mind, he likely knows he has homework to do but thinks, “Just one more show, and then I’ll get started.” The “one more show” might then turn into three more shows, keeping him from getting started on his homework until an hour before dinnertime. Set a limit on problematic behavior like this, such as by restricting television after 4 p.m. Follow up on limits.

Explain the reason the limits are in place, emphasizing the importance of chores and academics over playtime or other distractions. Avoid using the timeworn “because I say so” reasoning, which only tells children something they already know: You’re the one that sets the rules.

Instead, express the importance behind setting the limitation. Further emphasize this importance by explicitly stating the consequence of breaking the limit. Engage in this discussion either when you first set the limit or the first time your child breaks the limit thereby giving him a second chance with an added explanation such as, “I said no TV after 4 p.m. because school is more important than TV.

I’m disappointed that you broke this rule, and if it happens again, I’ll just unplug the TV.

Teach Delayed Gratification Establishing a pattern: we work, and then we play. You might say to your child, “I know you want to play outside. Let’s pick up all these blocks and fold the clothes and then we can go together.” Or, “Let’s get the house cleaned up and then we’ll make some popcorn and watch a movie.”

12. Help your child with his chores and homework, but don’t do them for him.

Show him the importance of planning before jumping into a room-cleaning project or study session haphazardly. Doing so shows him not only the importance of time management but also of organization in planning and studying.

For example, if your child doesn't know where to start with cleaning his room, help him devise a plan of action, listing in order the areas that should be cleaned and how to clean them. Likewise, if your child is studying for next week’s test, help him devise a study plan. Outline the areas of the text on which he’ll be tested and create a schedule with learning goals attached. Your goal should be to perform this activity with him to help him complete his academic tasks on his own, thereby relieving yourself of your job as his study planner.

First teach them to pick up their clothes, to crush the cans for recycling, or to vacuum out the car. We need to give them extra time to make them do something when we could have done it faster and better ourselves.

It’s the real life test of our everyday efforts to raise children with a work ethic. Believe me, it is not easy.

Dr. Ruth Peters, a psychology contributor to NBC’s Today show and author says: “Daily in my practice I see parents who have made the mistake of not taking the time and attention to teach their children to be workers and achievers. These kids have learned to settle for less rather than to face and challenge adversity, to become whiners rather than creative problem solvers, and to blame others for perceived slights and lack of success.”

The ability to work hard, to tolerate frustration, and to take responsibility doesn’t just happen without a push from parents.

Like all good things, building a strong work ethic in your child takes constant effort. But you’ll know it’s worth it when your child comes home from the first day of his first job looking tired and satisfied and grown-up and says something like :

“My boss said I did a good job, Mom. Thanks for everything.”